COLOURS OF FAMILY

A Skillful Parent’s BACKPACK

By Heather Bain

October means we are one month into a new school year and everyone is conscious of staying healthy and protecting others. Stress is common these days as parents and students face new educational choices. Here are some fun stress busting ideas to do together. My suggestions are based on my experience as a Behavioural Teaching Assistant, Mom and Nana. I’ve included author’s names and resource titles in bolded font so parents can google topics of interest.

Wear your magic glasses!

You and your child/ren can have fun picking out inexpensive pairs of funky magic glasses. Creative people may decide to choose items from the craft section to create and decorate unique magic glasses. Put your glasses on and take turns sharing what you consider your positive character traits. Encourage your child to describe their personality using some conversation starter questions. Do they consider themselves chatty or shy? Are they relaxed or get frustrated and angry quickly? Can they share, negotiate, take turns and play by the rules? Do they play using their imagination to include and inspire others? Is being organized a strength? Is it easier to focus on one task for a lengthy period of time or shorter activities with frequent changes? After your conversation, take time to quietly identify their innate talents and challenges. Think of it as a Social Skills Checklist. You can also ask a trusted adult in your child’s life to share their insight. This information helps you and your child build positive self-esteem and aids in creating a strength based plan if troubling behaviour occurs. Make a habit of wearing your magic glasses regularly to encourage the practice of seeing positive qualities in yourselves and others.

Check your feelings

Children sometimes have difficulty connecting how feelings impact behaviour because they don’t recognize the way their body reacts. Encourage your child’s inner actor as you take selfies of your child demonstrating various expressions. Work together on creating a collage that can be posted somewhere prominent for easy reference. Talk about body language and how it gives clues to peoples’ moods. It’s easy for adults and children to show each other how they are feeling with a quick point to the appropriate selfie. ‘Feelings Charades’ is an entertaining way to give real life examples as well. Then put on your magic glasses, choose a favourite book, t.v show or movie and have your child practice empathizing and identifying how the characters are feeling. Movie night complete with snacks to watch Disney’s movie “Inside Out” is a terrific way of illustrating the concept.

Wave that Flag!!!

Make a set of 3 flags to represent Patience, Practice and Persistence. I imagine them with giant glittery letter P’s but feel free to decorate them to suit your inner artists. Then write a family cheer to recite while waving the flags. Use them to encourage anyone actively learning a skill. Ask your child how they would feel when cheering on a younger sibling learning to walk, parents experimenting with a new recipe or other family members attempting something new. It’s a fun way to encourage resilience, the ability to bounce back. Model patience for your child showing them how to take a minute, do an emotional temperature check and stay calm during frustrating situations. (My personal mantra is “Stay calm, cool and collected!”) Reassure them that learning can take time and practice. If you plant a seed together, waiting for it to sprout is a concrete example of the act of patience. Reinforce that practice is essential, nobody does things perfectly the first time.

Quiet time

Finally, pick a quiet time so you and your child can snuggle while reading How Full is your Bucket? by Tom Rath and Mary Reckmeyer. Fill a bucket with small items that represent joy, curiosity, wonder, a sense of humour, fun, good deeds, compliments, respect and courtesy. Then find opportunities to fill people’s buckets with acts of kindness!