Unite Virginia | Pride 2016

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CONTENTS Volume 2 | Pride 2016 04 06 08 10

Letter from the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Opinion: Society Functions for People Like Me Editorial: The Straight Spouce Left Behind Foreword - Ralph Northam, Lieutenant Governor of Virginia

INFORM 12 19 20 21

AIDS LifeCycle: A Utopian Roving Village on Wheels The Gal Pal Phenomenon North Carolina and Mississippi Rationalize Discrimination Sex and Storytelling in the Star City

CONNECT 24 26 27 28 29 30 31 32

Is Queer Offensive?

When it Comes to Pronouns, Just Ask Did You Know?

Love Wins in Columbia Did You Know?

The Forgotten History of Gay Liberation Did You Know?

June 28,1969: We’ve Had Enough of this Sh*t!

ENGAGE 36 40 42 43 44 46

Pump Up Your Pride with Lisa Vanderpump Here’s My Dog, Harold A Straight Man Walks into a Gay Wedding Show HBO’s Confirmation Revisits the Contraversial Anita Hill Story Alex - The Female Equivalent to Steve Statewide Pride Guide

UNITE VIRGINIA STAFF PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Justin Ayars, JD EDITOR & CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jesse LaVancher ART DIRECTOR Christopher Murphy / Digital Empire Graphic Design WEB DESIGNER Michael Romano LOGO DESIGNER Umbrella Management Group, LLC ADVERTISING MANAGER Kimberly Nikole Welsh / sales@unitevamag.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media INTERNATIONAL FELLOW Kenny Schmidt COLLEGIATE FELLOWS Ariell Branson, Patrick Coghill, Kevin G. Costanzo, Timothy Crumbly, Austin Martin, Saria M. Maryn, Christian Meade, Jarred Simon, Charlie Williamson PUBLISHING CONSULTANT Joey Amato CONTRIBUTORS Justin Ayars, JD Ariell Branson Timothy Crumbly Gretchen Gales Jennet Inglis Meredith Jenkins Shannon Mace Aria Maryn Dan Maxey Christian Meade The Honorable Ralph P. Northam Lieutenant Governor of Virginia Jesse LaVancher Terri Schlichenmeyer Lisa Vanderpump Michele Zehr, M.A., M.Ed. PUBLISHING PAGEOFFICE 46 The Brookwood |1342 | Richmond, VA 23225 Stay Flynn UnitedRoad | L’Opossum Ad Stay United! www.unitevamag.com Keep up-to-date on the latest news, join the conversation and share your stories with us!

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Cover photo of courtesy of Lisa Vanderpump.

Unite Virginia promotes equality through storytelling. We provide the LGBTQ community and its allies a unified voice in Virginia’s evolving cultural, economic and social narrative.

Credit for the following stories in our last issue should have also gone to Gretchen Gales: Queeries: 17 Q&As About Gay Weddings Grow: Your Guide to Wedding Flowers Wedding Basics in 4 Steps Ready, Set, Plan! Your Step-by-Step Blueprint to the Alter

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letter

from the Publisher & Editor-in-Chief Happy Pride, Virginia! As we begin to celebrate Pride throughout the Commonwealth in the months ahead, it’s important to remember the origins of Pride. In the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village. While police raids of gay bars were not uncommon in the 1960s, this particular raid ignited a series of spontaneous, violent demonstrations from members of the LGBT and allied communities that lasted two days. After decades of arrests, discrimination and systematic repression, the Stonewall raid sparked a communal feeling of defiance, empowerment and visceral rage, which was was best expressed by one protester who said, “We’ve had enough of this sh*t!” Remembering the riots, one person named Rudy recounted, “There was a cop on his stomach in his tactical uniform with a drag queen straddling him. She was beating the hell out of him with her shoe, whether it was a high heel or not I don’t know, but she was beating the hell out of him.” The 1969 Stonewall Riots were a tipping point for the LGBT community and is considered the official start of the Gay Rights Movement. Since then, June has been celebrated as LGBT Pride Month across the United States and around the world.

On June 1st, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau raised a rainbow flag on Parliament Hill in Ottawa to mark the start of Pride Month stating, “This is a great day for Canada. . . . it is absolutely wonderful to be celebrating in such a significant way as to raise the Pride flag on Parliament Hill for the very, very first time.”

In his National LGBT Pride Month Proclamation of 2016, President Obama declared that America is “upholding the simple truth that LGBT rights are human rights.” Moreover, the President added, “I call upon the people of the United States to eliminate prejudice everywhere it exists, and to celebrate the great diversity of the American people.”

Here in Virginia, we have a lot to be proud of.

Our Governor, Lt. Governor, Attorney General, and several members of the General Assembly have repeatedly demonstrated their steadfast support for Virginia’s LGBT community. Governor McAuliffe created a statewide LGBT Tourism Task Force, is once again opening the Governor’s

Mansion to members of the LGBT community to celebrate Pride Month and continues his fight to make Virginia “open and welcoming for all.” On March 30, the Governor vetoed SB41 (a so-called “religious freedom” bill that would effectively discriminate against LGBT Virginians). In vetoing SB41, Governor McAuliffe said, “Legislation that immunizes the discriminatory actions of certain people and institutions at the expense of samesex couples would damage Virginia’s reputation for commonsense, pro-business government.”

He later tweeted, “We’re not going to tolerate discrimination.”

This past April, Lt. Governor Northam published a piece in The Virginian-Pilot in which he argued that anti-LGBT bills, such as those passed in North Carolina and other states, are bad for society and the economy. “Businesses should be interested in serving the most customers the best product possible, not figuring out the gender or relationship status of people who walk in the door. When Virginia offers a pro-business, allare-welcome environment, we are better able to compete with other states.”

We Virginians are very fortunate to have an administration and politicians willing to stand up and fight for LGBT rights and openly celebrate LGBT Pride Month. Pride is a time for people to come together and celebrate all of the accomplishments that the LGBT community has made.

It is a time to laugh, love, share stories, remember and prepare for the future. It is a time for education, community engagement and economic activity. By creating a safe space where communities, culture and commerce can coalesce, Pride has become a vehicle for economic development, a fundamental thread in the fabric of our diverse society and an affirmation of life itself.

Cheers,

Justin Publisher & Editor-in-Chief

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Opinion:

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Society Functions for People Like Me By, Ariell Branson

I am an extremely privileged individual. I am a female in both avowal and ascription, and I subscribe to many classically feminine practices. I have long fingernails, long hair, I wear makeup and I dress in women’s clothing.

I have never been mistaken for any gender other than the one given to me at birth. But, because I am a female, I lack male privilege.

This is one of the few disprivilges I have in the terms of the wheel. It is also the one that is most obvious by looking at me. Additionally, I am white and appear white at first glance to others. I have very light skin, green eyes, and brown hair. My appearance definitely falls within the societally accepted standards for whiteness. Tying into me being white is the fact that I am European in origin. My family roots are from Germany and Switzerland, which contributes to my pale complexion.

I have been upper-middle class all of my life.

My dad works for Freddie Mac and my mom and step-father own their own business.

Because of this I can go to college without having to worry about loans, and I have been given the vast majority of things in my life that I want. This is obvious to others also, by the way I dress and the way I carry myself.

I also have privilege from being an Anglophone. English is my first language, which is readily apparent to those I have conversations with. This allows me to easily convey my opinions and ideas. Colorism works to my advantage also. I am quite pale which has historically been considered better. Many people have started to tan extensively, especially in America, but I believe my pale skin benefits me in the eyes of others because very tan women are often considered “cheap” or “slutty.” As far as avowal goes I would not consider myself to be part of the majority religion (Christianity) but I appear that way to others.

My family also celebrates many of the Christian holidays. This makes it pretty clear that I’m not Semitic or Islamic. Lastly, I am fertile, or at least, I believe I am. I have no reason to believe otherwise at this moment in time.

Privilege is defined as a series of unearned rights you are born with without doing anything to gain them. I believe my most salient privilege is my white privilege. This is because it functions in every aspect of my life. I don’t face discrimination for the way I look, talk, or do my hair. Nor have I ever been denied anything based on my race i.e. employment or opportunities. I also appear extremely white to others, from my voice (I’ve been told I’m, “The whitest sounding person ever”) and my skin is extremely pale. My ex-boyfriend was black and people used to always tell him that he was, “Really smart for a black person.” I have never had to undergo microagressions such as those, or macroaggressions because of my race. I think that my most salient disprivilege is that I am a woman. Just like white privilege is my most obvious privilege to others, being a female is my most blatant disprivilege.

Because of my high voice and presentation of myself people often consider me to be less intelligent and less capable than my male counterparts. I also spend a great deal of time worrying about how I will be perceived by men and how they will treat me, because my size and sex make me feel vulnerable. I have had to speed up my pace when walking alone many times due to men catcalling me or acting in ways that are threatening..

All things considered, society functions for people like me. While I have several strong disprivileges, only one of them is readily noticeable to others. I am able to move through the world effectively and accomplish many of the things I desire to without any huge roadblocks preventing me from doing so. What privileges and disprivileges do you experience as you progress through life? No matter the situation, it’s always important to check your privilege.

To read the full story and see the Intersecting Axes of Privilege, Domination and Oppression Wheel, visit http://tinyurl.com/j6eg8s8

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Editorial: The Straight Spouse Left Behind By, Gretchen Gales

While finally being able to come out of the closet after years of hiding their identity is liberating for the out spouse, many straight spouses feel betrayed and flooded with disbelief. Did their spouse ever love them? What had they done wrong? A guide provided by the University of Massachusetts, “Opening the Straight Spouse’s Closet,” (also referred to as “The Straight Spouse Guide”) explains, “As their partners find support in gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) organizations and celebrate their coming out, their spouses’ post-disclosure problems are often ignored, and they find little support or understanding. Retreating into their own closets, straight spouses cope in isolation.” Straight spouses go through a process of shock, relief, denial, and eventually face reality.

This begins the three to six years it may take for full recovery.

An article by NPR called “A Place For Straight Spouses After Their Mate Comes Out of the Closet” tells the story of Jeff and Betty Waite. After almost 20 years of marriage, Jeff confessed to Betty that he questioned his sexuality. Betty began questioning the validity of her relationships and her judgement of people. Today the Waites have brunch together with their sons to maintain a sense of family and to be on good terms with each other. The Waite’s story is particularly resonant when children are involved. It can be difficult to explain to children why their parents will no longer be together, especially under unique circumstances. Fears of homophobia or transphobia are suddenly a threat to their children. The Straight Spouse Guide explains that for the straight spouse, it is easy to be overwhelmed by their own grief and make it hard to empathize with their children. But when they do,

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many “work jointly with their GLBT spouse to provide a caring, loving home for their children, whether or not they divorce.”

A popular resource for the too often ignored spouses is the Straight Spouse Network (SSN).

Founded in 1991, the organization provides local contacts and support groups to help the recovery process. They also provide suggested reading, videos, online support groups, and a blog. In an article from Slate’s “Outward” blog, Tom Teague and around 100 other members of the SSN gathered in Florida for an annual retreat. After his wife came out as a lesbian, SSN encouraged Teague to share his story with other spouses going through the same trauma. Their stories are similar: their spouses never wanted sex, maybe they were caught in bed with another person of the same gender, and the overall quality of their marriage suffered. Having the shared experience helps the straight spouses heal and move forward.

Though closeted spouses may genuinely love their straight spouses, suppressing their identity is incredibly harmful. While there has been a surge of LGBTQ+ resources helping many come out of the closet, it is important not to forget the straight spouses that also suffer from the consequences of homophobia. LGBTQ+ rights is one of the most rapidly growing civil rights movements in America and one to be truly celebrated; but, it’s important not to leave the hurt and confused straight spouses behind in the march towards equality, inclusion, and understanding.

To read the full story, visit http://tinyurl.com/hcwmr9c

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FOREWORD

Ralph Northam Lieutenant Governor of Virginia However, you don’t need me to tell you that we still have a long way to go in order to achieve true LGBT equality.

I was thrilled when Governor McAuliffe vetoed SB41, which if passed would have dragged us backwards toward darker times in Virginia’s history.

Thank you to Unite Virginia for all the great work you do, promoting equality and sharing the stories of Virginia’s LGBT community.

In June, we recognize Pride month in the Commonwealth and across the United States. We have the opportunity to celebrate our progress over the past year, as well as sit back and take stock of what we’ve yet to accomplish.

SB41 would have made it legal to discriminate against thousands of Virginians, which not only sends a message to our LGBT residents that they are second class citizens, but also sends the wrong message to businesses who want to put down roots and grow in inclusive communities. Virginia’s employers need to recruit the best and the brightest workers in the country, and discriminatory laws prevent them from attracting top talent to the Commonwealth.

Virginia has come a long way in two short years under Governor McAuliffe, As a member of the Virginia Economand I’m proud to serve in his adminis- ic Development Partnership and the tration.

Virginia Tourism Authority, I work every day to make the Commonwealth His very first executive order banned discrimination based on sexual orien- business-friendly and welcoming to tation and gender identity in state gov- all. ernment. When the General Assembly Sometimes, it is the economic impact attempted to make the executive order of discrimination that ultimately turns into law, it came down to a tie vote in the tide. Discriminating against LGBT the Senate. Casting the tie-breaking individuals in Virginia can only have a vote to pass the bill remains one of negative impact on our economy and my proudest moments as Lieutenant ultimately on the quality of life of all Governor. our citizens.

Thanks in large part to Attorney Gen- North Carolina is a prime example. eral Herring’s leadership and the cour- Governor Pat McCrory recently signed age of a few extraordinary Virginians, into law one of the most anti-LGBT we now have full marriage equality in laws in the country. The negative reVirginia and across this great nation. sponse was immediate, with more than Furthermore, loving same-sex couples 90 major employers calling for the can now legally adopt children of their bill’s repeal, and the U.S. Department own, which is another important step of Justice’s announcement that the law violates the Civil Rights Act. toward equality.

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Last year, Indiana approved similar legislation that put the state in the national spotlight and cost the city of Indianapolis an estimated $60 million in tourism.

This goes to show what a staggering difference a Governor can make in a state. I am grateful to have had Governor McAuliffe at the helm these past two years and to be included on his cabinet. Together, we will continue to fight for equality for the LGBT community here in Virginia.

In my role as lieutenant governor and working with Governor McAuliffe, my priority is to create an environment that best serves all Virginians.

That means recruiting new businesses and supporting current businesses in order to bring good-paying jobs and top talent. That means providing basic services that every citizen needs in order to contribute to our common good. And that means ensuring that every Virginian has a fair shot to reach their full potential.

I will fight to keep Virginia focused on these priorities so that companies, families and the entire country knows that Virginia is open for business and welcoming to all.

Sincerely,

Ralph Northam Lieutenant Governor of Virginia

inform.

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AIDS LifeCycle: A Utopian Roving Village on Wheels By, Dan Maxey

Eight years ago, I moved across the country—from Arlington to Arizona—to start a new chapter in my life. A decision to make a career change from working in politics and government affairs to higher education required a return to college for graduate school and my sights were set on schools out West. Moving thousands of miles away meant pulling up the roots I had carefully put down in Washington, DC and Richmond; it meant leaving communities that nurtured my coming of age as a young adult and gay man. I rarely let on how scared I was to leave. Yet, the community I found in AIDS LifeCycle has elevated my expectations about what a community can be, and it has allowed me to make a real difference for a cause that has improved the quality of life of many thousands while greatly enriching my own.

AIDS LifeCycle is a seven-day cycling event from San Francisco to Los Angeles supporting the HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment services of the Los Angeles LGBT Center and San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Riders and roadies each raise thousands of dollars to set out on a 545 mile route—roughly the distance from Richmond, Virginia to Jacksonville, Florida as the crow flies. The benefitting organizations provide critical services to thousands of men and women living with HIV and AIDS, have had a major role in prevention and building awareness, and contribute to the national and international fight against the disease through their leadership, involvement in clinical trials, and other initiatives.

I signed up to participate before I had a clue that I was moving. I got involved, as many do, at the insistence of a friend and because it offered me a physical challenge that also supported a good cause. I didn’t understand what I was getting myself into. It just turned out that my first ride would coincide with the move, calling me out to the coast just days after arriving at my new home in Phoenix. AIDS LifeCycle fortuitously became the community I craved when I left the East coast.

During that first week on the ride, I experienced a genuine sense of connection in the midst of 3,000 relative strangers in a foreign, albeit beautiful place. It began in conversation with another rider on the flight from LAX, our common bond signaled in the helmets we carried aboard. It continued in a sea of spandex at the ride orientation and opening ceremonies as we remembered friends lost and celebrated the start to our journey. It came in the encouragement of children offering up high-fives along the route, a helping hand to fix a flat tire, a good cry with a woman on the side of the road honoring the life and loss of her brother, and the riders, roadies, and beneficiaries who shared their own stories over meals. It came in the volunteer doctors, nurses, and drivers who cared for me on a trip to the Emergency Room and in the days that followed. In every moment of each day, we lived, loved, and lifted one another up.

I never felt like I was leaving that community when I returned to Phoenix—it was always there, a part of me. I recruited others to join the cause; we grew closer as we trained together. When I moved from Phoenix to Los Angeles, there was a ride community ready to welcome me—cyclists and ride staff literally met my U-Haul truck to help me unpack. Riders opened their homes to me and tens of others for Thanksgiving dinners and other occasions. We trained together. I volunteered my time on the ride’s steering committee. I joined a team, Lady and the Tramps, and formed bonds with a bunch of men and women I’ve come to love like family. When I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area, my first and most fulfilling friendships were found in the local teams who invited me to train with them. The community never quits giving—we live, we love, we lift one another up without fail.

Maybe this sounds like any community—any other group with a common cause. Yet, amid a larger LGBT community so often characterized by its subsets—its “tribes”—I have found myself in relationships with a more diverse group of people than before in every sense of the word: men and women of every shape and size, race and ethnicity, gay and straight, lesbian and trans*, twinks, bears, positive and negative, old and young. I have lived in a community that transcends the boundaries of any one week or place. Out on the road we call what we experience the “Love Bubble.” We are a utopian, roving village on wheels that offers an unlimited supply of love and support. It’s in that bubble that we feel safe exposing our vulnerabilities as we help one another to shoulder the individual and collective burdens that life brings our way. It’s far too simple to think of AIDS LifeCycle as simply an event. It’s a model; it’s how we all wish the world could be.

As I put in thousands of miles training to ride 545 miles in June and raise money to fund the fight against HIV and AIDS, I am looking forward to reconnecting and recharging my spirit. Months of rigorous training and the physical and emotional demands of the experience are always worth the reward. But, most importantly, I’m proud to give back—to honor the men and women who we have lost and those living so courageously with this disease today.

Dan Maxey grew up in Prince George, Virginia. He graduated from The College of William and Mary and spent six years living and working in the metro DC area.

He currently lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and is participating in his seventh AIDS LifeCycle.

To help Dan’s work with AIDS LifeCycle, please visit http://www.tofighthiv.org/goto/maxey UNITE UNITE Virginia Virginia || unitevamag.com unitevamag.com || 13 13

The Gal Pal Phenomenon Are They Lesbians?

No, They’re Just Friends By, Ariell Branson

When Lori Interlicchio donated a kidney to her

girlfriend, Alana Duran, she probably didn’t anticipate becoming the latest victim of what is widely referred to as the “Gal Pals Phenomenon.” The Gal Pals Phenomenon refers to the media’s tendency to label women in lesbian relationships as simply close friends. Not only is this patronizing and inaccurate, it strips lesbian relationships of their legitimacy. Sadly, this happens almost exclusively in the lesbian community. Very rarely are photos of two men or a man and a woman kissing met with the response, “Wow! They’re such great friends!”

When an article discussing Interlicchio’s selfless act was posted online it was met with responses like, “Now that’s the power of friendship!” even though the two were visibly kissing in the photo accompanying the article and they were labeled as girlfriends. Two other notable examples of this happening are model Ireland Baldwin and rapper Angel Haze and actress Kristin Stewart and singer Stephanie “Soko” Sokolinski. While both pairs were open about their relationships, the media continually referred to them as simply close friends. This contributes to the belief that relationships between women are simply phases and passing flings, a mentality that is damaging to all lesbian and bisexual women, but especially those who foresee themselves spending their lives in homosexual relationships.

The Gal Pals Phenomenon is directly impacted by the societal misconception that women who engage in sexual intercourse and romantic relationships with women are just exploring their sexuality. While that is the case with some, for most women who identify on the queer spectrum even settling down with a man won’t make them a heterosexual. On the flip side, many of these women will continue dating other women for the rest of their lives and never marry a man – to reduce lifelong behavior to a phase is both inaccurate and ignorant. It’s time to stop blatantly ignoring women in homosexual relationships and to treat them with the same respect we would show any other couple. The next time you hear two women self-identify as a couple, don’t dismiss their relationship as a mere friendship and, for the love of God, please don’t call them “gal pals.”

Photo: Ireland Baldwin and Angel Haze

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North Carolina and Mississippi Rationalize Discrimination By, Ariell Branson

Race, religion, national origin, and sexual identity -- one of these things is not like the other. Contrary to popular belief, sexual identity is not a protected class. While there are acts protecting citizens based on the aforementioned sex, age, and even familial status, there is no such act to protect people who fall under the queer umbrella.

What does this mean for the LGBTQIA+ community?

Not having constitutional protection means that laws that impact our community are judged at the lowest level of scrutiny. This makes legislation like what is underway in North Carolina and Mississippi permissible so long as it has a rational basis.

The North Carolina bill does two things: it requires public schools to segregate bathrooms based on biological sex and it prohibits cities and counties from creating any new anti-discrimination laws. This is dangerous for a plethora of reasons. First and foremost, it puts transgender children in the line of fire when it comes to harassment and sexual assault. But 20 | UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com

more than that, it makes it unlawful for any municipality in North Carolina to enact protections for the LGBTQIA+ community.

North Carolina is alone in this, though. Mississippi is currently in the process of passing legislation that allows individuals and institutions with religious objections to deny services to gay couples. Governor Phil Bryant has asserted that, “The legislation is designed in the most targeted manner possible to prevent government interference in the lives of the people from which all power to the state is derived.”

What is really does is allow shelters that provide housing for the homeless to discriminate against homosexual or transgender people, businesses to not serve gay couples, and medical professionals to deny members of the LGBTQIA+ community service.

Since these pieces of legislation have a “rational basis,” it is going to be extremely difficult to overturn them without a Supreme Court trial. The good news?

A Supreme Court battle could finally push sexual identity into the realm of protected classes, an action that would change the lives of queer and transgender people nationwide. Constitutional protection shouldn’t work like a game on Sesame Street; it’s time to disallow discrimination based on sexual identity.

Sex and Storytelling in the Star City By, Shannon Mace

Have you ever wondered what it was like to be gay in Roanoke in the1970s?

Dr. Gregory Rosenthal, Assistant Professor of Public History at Roanoke College, is working to answer that very question. Tucked away in the small city of Roanoke, Virginia is the rich history of a prominent LGBTQ+ community.

And now Dr. Rosenthal and the Southwest Virginia LGBTQ+ History Project have uncovered untold stories and are creating an archive and oral history collection to document this hidden history.

Although Roanoke may be considered a liberal area within Southwest Virginia, by national or even statewide standards, Roanoke is still considered by some to be a bastion of conservative ideology.

Despite that, the culture of gay Roanoke is real and much fuller than most people outside of the LGBTQ+ community would know. Through archive donation events, the Southwest Virginia LGBTQ+ History Project is collecting personal effects and photographs of people living within the gay community, which has been thriving since the 1970s.

Oral history is an effective method for historical research and documentation because it gives a voice to previously marginalized communities. An oral history is essentially an interview where, in front of an audio recorder, the historian asks questions and allows the narrator to tell their story. The historian helps to guide the interview with a list of prepared questions, and the narrator is given the opportunity to share their life story or personal experience in reference to a specific event.

For this project, the interviewers are students in Dr. Rosenthal’s INQ 300 class at Roanoke College. The class is called “Sex and Storytelling.”

Additional student volunteers are also helping to conduct interviews and write interview transcripts. The audio recordings will then be transcribed and checked with the narrator for any inaccuracies. The oral history record-

ings along with the completed transcripts will be deposited in the new LGBTQ History Collection at the Virginia Room, Roanoke Public Library, which serves as a place to safely preserve them for years to come.

Along with the oral histories, the LGBTQ+ History Project held a successful archive donation event in December, where members of the community were invited to come out for refreshments, donate to the archive and learn more about the project. The donated items are housed in the

Roanoke Public Library’s professional, climate controlled archive. The Virginia Room archive will protect these documents from age and wear, and is open for any member of the public to come and see them. The donated items are also in the process of being scanned and added to a digital archive, which is free for anyone to access. Dr. Rosenthal and his students plan to hold future archive donation events throughout the year.

Furthermore, I have been assisting Dr. Rosenthal in conducting outside research for the History Project: sifting through newspapers, police records, and city documents to find evidence of the vibrant LGBTQ+ community that has long called Roanoke home.

Researchers and students alike spend countless hours learning about various communities through archives, texts, and oral histories. As there is no previously organized compilation of the Roanoke Valley’s LGBTQ+ history, we are literally starting from scratch.

Roanoke will now be joining other cities across the nation that have realized the importance and legitimacy of LGBTQ+ history.

Age, sexuality, and gender identity aside, we would love your involvement in the History Project.

If you or someone you know lived in Roanoke and was or is currently a part of the LGBTQ+ community, please join our initiative. We will continue to actively collect oral histories and run additional archival donation events.

Thus far, donations have included posters, newsletters, photographs, and more. If you cannot make it to a physical collection event, you can also donate digitally through our website.

We invite all of you to join us in bringing life to Southwest Virginia’s untold LGBTQ+ history. Follow us online at http://lgbthistory.pages.roanoke.edu/.

Through the website, you can also follow our Facebook page and view the digital archive. We look forward to hearing from you!

Shannon Mace is a senior at Roanoke College studying History with a concentration in Anthropology. Shannon has been working with Dr. Rosenthal on the Southwest Virginia LGBTQ+ History Project since January 2016.

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connect

your voice. your community. your virginia. unitevamag.com UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com | 23

Is “Queer” Offensive?

By, Michele Zehr, M.A., M.Ed.

Last October I taught a professional development course for mental health providers in Henrico County. The training I designed was titled, “Is Queer Offensive? Practicing Cultural Humility While Providing Mental Health Services to the LGBTIQ2 Community.” Most of the participants identified as straight allies, and one common point of confusion was the many versions of “alphabet soup” that exist—the never-ending list of letters that keeps growing in an attempt to be inclusive when referring to anyone that does not identify as heteronormative.

This became the birth place of our current day alphabet soup. Over the next seven decades we’ve seen “gay” morph into an endless series of ever-lengthening acronyms in an attempt to include everyone.

Here are a few of my favorite versions: GLB, LGBT, LGBTIQ2, LGBPTTQQIIAA+, and in February 2015, Wesleyan University coined its own all-inclusive acronym that I have to admit, makes me giggle: LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM. I genuinely appreciate what folks are trying to do here, but I think we’re now missing the point in our effort to be “politically correct.”

I believe there are two valid answers to most questions in life, because life is more of a ‘both/and’ than an ‘either/or’ journey, but for this question—is queer offensive—I think the most accurate answer is, “It depends.” It depends on what generation you’re from, it depends on whether you’ve experienced painful heterosexist name-calling using this word, it depends on your exposure to social justice discourses, and frankly, it depends on too much to list here.

So I’m offering another perspective for this on-going conversation, because I believe a fatal flaw exists with our “inclusive” alphabet soup, and embracing the word queer may offer a solution. First, a little historical context.

Here is the problem with our acronyms and why we keep having to add letters. If you look at the Diagram of Sex, Gender, & Sexuality, you will see that humans fall on multiple spectrums that are completely independent of one another (to see the aforementioned diagram, visit www.unitevamag.com). For example, an individual may be born with XY chromosomes (biological male), may feel psychologically female (feminine gender identity), might wear a combination of men’s and women’s clothing (androgynous gender expression), find themselves attracted to both men and women (bisexual orientation), but only have sex with women (heterosexual behavior). We can mix and match along each spectrum all day long and still not capture every single combination or “degree” of variables—hence why we keep adding letters to our alphabet soup. We are trying to define every “way” of being human and I’m sorry, you can’t quantify the infinite.

As early as the 1940s, the word “gay” appeared to refer to both homosexual men and women. It wasn’t long before gay women felt invisible because people generally associated “gay” with only men.

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What I mean by “infinite” is that there are an infinite number of “points” along each spectrum, so it begs the question: Where exactly does someone become exclusively lesbian, transgender or even heterosexual? (There’s a great TedTalk that addresses this question called “Fifty Shades of Gay.”) When we are born, we aren’t ‘locked in’ to our respective places on each spectrum either. In fact, many people travel back and forth on these spectrums in a more fluid manner throughout their lives, something Dr. Alfred Kinsey brought into our awareness in 1948 through his research known as The Kinsey Reports.

Personally, I thought I was straight until my early 20s because I didn’t know that loving another woman was even an option! It was a totally nameless concept within my life context. Of course, once the light bulb illuminated, I couldn’t help but wonder how I had ever missed it.

With that said, when I came out of the closet in 1995, I first identified as bisexual but in time, I began referring to myself as lesbian as I hadn’t found myself attracted to men for over 20 years. In recent years, I’ve begun referring to myself as a queer woman, because the word queer encompasses all of those spectrums, not just the one that tells people with whom I share my bed. Queer is in fact, all-inclusive, and it offers me the ability to define myself in the ways that feel most authentic at any given moment of my life. I hope in time we won’t even need to make a distinction between “straight or queer,” but society isn’t quite there yet.

So this brings me back to the original question. Is queer offensive?

As a social justice and empowerment educator, I personally prefer the term queer. It offers us a both/and solution. It both acknowledges

that humans are not exclusively heterosexual and at the same time, does not limit us to the latest string of “inclusive” letters that cannot possibly represent everyone. There is one more reason I like the word queer though.

It is another example of how our community has begun to reclaim what was once a painfully derogatory slur and that, my friends, is an act of taking back our power. This is not the first time we’ve done this as a community. The pink triangle was originally used to shame and denote “homosexual men” in Nazi concentration camps during WWII. It was anything but a badge of honor, but that same symbol has been reclaimed and is now used in many contexts, such as Pride celebrations and as part of signage indicating that a particular place is a “safe zone” for queer people (ironically!).

So for me, queer is not offensive, but maybe for you it is, and I can totally honor that. I’d like to suggest that we all consider the possibility that human beings are “big enough” to hold it all, and that this is not a right/wrong issue. If we are faced with having to use a label to describe someone else and are unsure of which one to use, how about simply asking the individual what she/he prefers, because in the end, nobody is a better expert on you than you.

UNITE | unitevamag.com | 25 Learn more about Michele Zehr, M.A., Virginia M.Ed. at www.we2empower.com.

Wondering Which Pronouns to Use? Just Ask By, Aria Maryn

If you stop and look around at our world, the extent to which we gender things is astounding. It’s seemingly impossible to go for even one hour without having to use a gendered pronoun or word. Other languages have more options for gender-neutral pronouns, but English is lacking in this area.

This makes things difficult for a lot of queer people, specifically those who are a part of the trans community, as well as those who identify in ways that do not conform to the gender binary.

Personally, I can say that I’ve experienced this issue a number of times. Being misgendered is a terrible experience, and it’s not even something that (most) people intend to do.

It happens because one simple step is skipped – asking someone for their pronouns.

Even when someone’s gender expression seems “obvious” to you, you might not be correct. Your perception of what “he” and “she” looks like isn’t the same as mine. For many, trying to keep track of pronouns seems to be an impossible puzzle that makes their lives more difficult – but it’s really not. It shows respect to other people and builds respectful relationships.

Society has burned this idea of a gender binary into our brains. When you meet someone, your mind probably tries desperately to apply familiar labels to them (like gender), and that’s okay. However, you have the ability to change this way

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of thinking and help future generations escape this gender binary more easily.

Cisgender people aren’t the only ones who struggle with pronouns. Many people who identify as trans or gender non-conforming have problems with it as well. It’s not uncommon for someone to mess up their own pronouns sometimes – and we’re certainly not perfect at getting everyone else’s pronouns right 100% of the time. This is something that we all have to work on – but I believe that it’s worth it.

So, when you meet someone new, try not to “figure out” what their gender identity is. They know better than you do, so simply ask. It can be as easy as exchanging names. “What are your pronouns?” is not a hard question to ask, and it’s not inconvenient. It’s certainly not rude – I, and many other queer people I know, find it extremely polite to be asked about pronouns. If you don’t get a chance to ask, you can always use gender-neutral pronouns (they / theirs) until you’re able to ask the person what they prefer – and, sometimes, gender-neutral pronouns will be their preference.

Making this effort is respectful, helpful, and crucial to building relationships between people of all gender identities.

When it comes to pronouns, it doesn’t have to be complicated – just ask.

did you know?

By, Jesse LaVancher

1.) The word “homosexual” was coined in which year?

1869. A Hungarian psychologist name Benkert invented this term.

Prior to this date, people may have committed homosexual “acts,” but they were not labeled “homosexuals” (or members of a particular group whose identity derives from those acts) until the nineteenth century.

2.) Which of the following empires was ruled for over two centuries by openly gay or bisexual emperors?

China and Rome. In China during the Han dynasty (second century B.C.E. until the third century C.E.), many emperors were gay or bisexual. The Chinese term for homosexuality, “duanxiu,” means “cut sleeve,” referring to a famous story in which an emperor cut off his sleeve rather than awaken his lover, who had fallen asleep on his arm. Rome was ruled in the first two centuries C.E. by14 openly-gay or bisexual emperors, including Nero and Hadrian.

3.) In what nation did the first large-scale gay rights movement begin?

Germany. German activists began organizing in the 1860s, and formed a gay rights organization with over 100,000 members by the early twentieth century. Its petition drives for legal reform were signed by several prominent figures, including scientist Albert Einstein and writers Thomas Manna and Hermann Hesse.

Love Wins in Columbia By, Christian Meade

In a landmark decision, Colombia’s Constitutional Court has approved a bill that now allows same-sex couples to marry.

The 6-3 ruling now makes Colombia the 20th country in the world to pass marriage equality laws and only the fourth country in South America along with Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay.

“Today’s ruling by Colombia’s Constitutional Court marks an important moment for LGBT Colombians, and we congratulate the country’s many LGBT advocates who helped make this day possible,” said Jean Freedberg, Deputy Director of HRC Global. “Following victories for LGBT advocates in Ireland in May and in the United States in June, today’s ruling makes clear that global momentum for marriage equality has continued to grow, and we’re hopeful that other nations will provide same-sex couples the right to marry the person they love in the year ahead.”

Colombia has slowly been moving away from its previous conservative stance on LGBT issues and working towards equality starting in 2007 when unmarried same-sex couples were granted pension benefits, social security, property and inheritance rights. Later in 2011, the Constitutional Court ruled that same-sex couples should be considered a family and their rights should be acknowledged. The country took another big step in November of last year when it lifted a ban that prohibited same-sex couples from adopting.

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Director of Marriage Equality, Brian Silva, spoke highly of the court’s decision saying it was “great for the Colombian people but even greater for people around the world still fighting for marriage equality.”

did you know?

By, Jesse LaVancher

1. True or False: American Indians discriminated against people whom they perceived to be gay.

False. Native American societies had an institution called “berdache,” by which “individuals could take on the social role of the opposite sex and then take a same-sex spouse without fear of ridicule. Some tribes actually revered berdaches for their special “calling.”

2. When was America’s first gay rights group founded?

1924. The Chicago Society for Human Rights was America’s first gay rights group, although it existed for less than a year due to police and media harassment.

3. Which president made it illegal for the American government to employ homosexuals?

Eisenhower. With President Executive Order 10450 in 1953, President Eisenhower bowed to the pressure of Senator McCarthy’s “witch hunts,” which claimed that not only communists, but also gays, were betraying American secrets to the Russians. These laws were not repealed until 1975.

4. When was the first gay rights protest in Washington, D.C.?

1965. Organized by Frank Kameny and the Mattachine Society, this picket of slightly more than a dozen people aimed to repeal McCarthy-era restrictions on the employment of gays by the federal government.

5. Name the 1986 Supreme Court decision which upheld the right of the government to invade the homes of gay people and arrest them for engaging in consensual adult homosexual sexual relations.

Hardwick v. Bowers. In 1986, the Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote, upheld the conviction of Michael Hardwick, an Atlanta man who was arrested in the privacy of his home by Georgia police for violating the state’s sodomy laws.

In 2003, the Supreme Court overruled Hardwick v. Bowers in the landmark decision of Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down sodomy laws across the nation and paved the way for marriage equality.

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BOOK REVIEW By, Terri Schlichenmeyer

“Stand by Me: The Forgotten History of Gay Liberation” by Jim Downs You had no idea.

How could you know? No one ever told you, nobody sat you down to explain what was what. You were blissfully unaware, kept in the dark for far too long, but read “Stand by Me: The Forgotten History of Gay Liberation” by Jim Downs, and you may see the light on a few things.

Years ago, when he was a college student, Downs spent evenings with his best friend in a back room in the William Way Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center in Philadelphia, poring through archives. Then, he had no idea of the value of the old newspapers and articles he’d found but after seeing a documentary on the 1970s and AIDS, he suddenly understood.

Bothered by conclusions drawn in the movie – specifically, what he felt was a focus on promiscuous sex – he returned to the archives. It was there that he saw how much of LGBT history is unknown or misunderstood. His research led to this book.

One of the more shocking things he discovered was “the largest massacre of gay people in American history.”

Jim Downs

Terri Schlichenmeyer

It happened on June 23, 1973 in New Orleans: a group of 120 gay, lesbian, and straight worshippers were holding a church service on a Sunday night on the second floor of a building in the French Quarter. They were members of the Metropolitan Community Church, which had been established so that LGBT individuals had a safe, inclusive place to worship. On that night, they were raising their voices in song when a still-unknown person threw flammable liquid on the stairs, trapping the congregation. Thirty-two people died that night.

Downs writes of a New Yorker with a “vision” of a bookstore-slash-gathering-place for “homophiles” to mingle and share ideas, rather than their bodies. He explains how a soon-to-be-famous writer was relentless in his search for gay history in Nazi Germany. He examines how activism and gay politics spurred the creation of gay newspapers, and how LGBT publications affected “people of color” and domestic workers. Coming full-circle, he shows how gay churches and newspapers supported gay men in prison.

In any history, there’ll always be surprises, facts, and tales that are forgotten or ignored until someone finds and reveals them anew. And that’s exactly what author Jim Downs has done here in “Stand by Me.” Starting with upset over what he perceived to be a simplistic premise for a documentary, Downs moves on to a story that was largely ignored by nationwide news outlets, then to activists and beginnings of an LGBT press. His narrative encompasses the years roughly prior to Stonewall through about the late 1970s, and it includes a number of coincidental connections that are nicely revealed. This book is informative, sometimes horrifying, interesting and, unlike your old high-school history books, it’s never dry.

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Older LGBT readers may not see anything new or shocking here, but younger gay men and lesbians will truly find some eye-openers. If you don’t know what you don’t know, “Stand by Me” will give you some ideas.

d

did you know?

• The world’s oldest porn, which dates back over 3,000 years, features both male/male, female/female and male/female couples.

• The word drag is apparently an acronym, a stage direction coined by Shakespeare and his contemporaries meaning ‘Dressed Resembling A Girl’.

• The Virginia Court in 1629 recorded the first gender ambiguity among the American colonists. A servant named Thomas(ine) Hall was officially declared by the governor to be both ‘a man and a woman’. To stop everyone else from being confused, Hall was ordered to wear articles of each sex’s clothing every day.

• Carmilla, a story of a lesbian vampire that preyed on young women, was written 25 years before Dracula.

• The US has apparently already had a gay president, James Buchanan. He shacked up for 10 years with a future VP, William Rufus King, and was referred to by President Andrew Jackson as ‘Miss Nancy’ and ‘Aunt Fancy’.

• The modern use of gay comes from gaycat, a slang term among hobos meaning a boy who accomapnies an older, more experienced tramp, with the implication of sexual favors being ex changed for protection.

• While many know the handkerchief code, it was popular for gay women to wear blue stars on their wrists in the 1950s and the 1970s to identify themselves in clubs.

• Jimi Hendrix pretended to be gay to get out of the army in 1962.

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< This photograph appeared in the front page of The New York Daily News on Sunday, June 29, 1969, showing the “street kids” who were the first to fight with the police.

Credit: By Source, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18998998

< Christopher Park, where many of the demonstrators met after the first night of rioting to talk about what had happened, now features a sculpture of four white figures by George Segal that commemorates the milestone.

Credit: CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1578326

<

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The Stonewall Inn, taken September 1969. The sign in the window reads: “We homosexuals plead with our people to please help maintain peaceful and quiet conduct on the streets of the Village—Mattachine.”

Credit: Carter, David. Stonewall: The Riots that Sparked the Gay Revolution, St. Martin’s Press, 2004.

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June 28, 1969:

We’ve Had Enough of this Sh*t!

By, Tim Crumbly & Meredith Jenkins

An Era of Repression The 1950’s and 60’s was an extremely repressive social period for all LGBTQ citizens. During this time, homosexuality was still thought of us as a disease; members of the gay community faced rampant discrimination; businesses shunned homosexual customers; many suffered physical violence (even murder) from the hands homophobic Americans. Members of the homosexual community did find places where they could be themselves, such as bars and clubs owned by the mafia and other criminals. However, police raids on gay bars were frequent—occurring on average once a month for each bar. Bar management usually knew about raids beforehand due to police tipoffs. During a typical raid, the lights were turned on, and customers were lined up and their identification cards checked. Those without identification or dressed in full drag were arrested; others were allowed to leave. Some of the men, including those in drag, used their draft cards as identification. Women were required to wear three pieces of feminine clothing, and would be arrested if found not wearing them. Employees and management of the bars were also typically arrested.

It was during these repressive years that individuals and organizations began to come together and form the foundation of what later became the Gay Rights Movement. The movement humbly began on July 4, 1965 with a formal picketing at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. Called the “Annual Reminder,” this yearly gathering was designed to inform people of the bigoted and unjust treatment that the homosexual community was forced to endure. The last Annual Reminder was held on July 4, 1969. After the Stonewall Riots of June 28, 1969, the Annual Reminder organizers discontinued their picketing at Independence Hall and, instead, organized the Christopher Street Liberation Day on June 28, 1970 to commemorate the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots.

The Stonewall Riots The infamous Stonewall Riots of 1969. Sure, you’ve heard of them (or at least you should have by now). But what actually happened there and what does it mean for Pride today? A police raid at the Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village was the flashpoint that transformed the Gay Rights Movement from a quiet series of localized gatherings into a global fight for equality.

In 1969, tensions between the New York police department and the gay residents of Greenwich Village were growing exponentially. In the early morning hours of June 28, those tensions erupted into violent street riots outside of the Stonewall Inn that continued until 4:00AM and re-started the following night. Many eye witnesses and participants in the riots assert that there was no pre-existing organization or apparent cause for the violent demonstration; rather, what ensued was spontaneous. One participant in the riots, Michael Fader, explained: We all had a collective feeling like we’d had enough of this kind of shit. It wasn’t anything tangible anybody said to anyone else, it was just kind of like everything over the years had come to a head on that one particular night in the one particular place, and it was not an organized demonstration... Everyone in the crowd felt that we were never going to go back. It was like the last straw. It was time to reclaim something that had always been taken from us.... All kinds of people, all different reasons, but mostly it was total outrage, anger, sorrow, everything combined, and everything just kind of ran its course. It was the police who were doing most of the destruction.

We were really trying to get back in and break free. And we felt that we had freedom at last, or freedom to at least show that we demanded freedom. We weren’t going to be walking meekly in the night and letting them shove us around—it’s like standing your ground for the first time and in a really strong way, and that’s what caught the police by surprise. There was something in the air, freedom a long time overdue, and we’re going to fight for it. It took different forms, but the bottom line was, we weren’t going to go away. And we didn’t!

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After the Stonewall Riots, members of the gay and lesbian community overcame many differences to form a community set on bringing about real change—to have people accept their sexuality without fear of being arrested. Within months of the Stonewall Riots, several gay rights activist organizations were formed in New York. The following year, many more organizations were formed across the country and around the world. On June 28, 1970 organizers formed the Christopher Street Liberation Day in New York and the Christopher Street West Association in Los Angeles. The first anniversary of the Stonewall Riots saw the first Gay Pride Parades in history in New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Los Angles. To accommodate the interests of the many different groups participating, the Christopher Street Liberation Day Committee named the days leading up to the parade, Gay Pride Week.

Beyond Stonewall Today, Pride festivals are held annually throughout the world, usually towards the end of June, to mark the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. In June of 1999, the U.S. Department of the Interior designated 51 and 53 Christopher Street (where the Stonewall Inn is located) and the surrounding streets as a National Historic Landmark. In a dedication ceremony, Assistant Secretary of the Department of the Interior, John Berry stated,

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Let it forever be remembered that here—on this spot—men and women stood proud, they stood fast, so that we may be who we are, we may work where we will, live where we choose and love whom our hearts desire.

On June 23, 2015, the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission unanimously approved the designation of the Stonewall Inn as a city landmark, making it the first landmark honored for its role in the fight for gay rights.

As we gear up for Pride events across Virginia and DC in 2016, it’s important to look back at the history of the Gay Rights Movement and understand why we celebrate Pride. It’s particularly important to look back and remember how far the LGBTQ community has come in such a short period of time. However you choose to celebrate Pride this year, be sure to take a moment to remember why we celebrate Pride. If it weren’t for some badass gay men, lesbians and drag queens who violently clashed with police in the streets of Greenwich Village in the wee hours of June 28, 1969, there would be no Pride celebrations at all. Thanks to those brave souls who fought for civil rights in the streets of New York 47 years ago and those who carried on the fight in the years that followed, we can all savor the fruits of equality. Now that is a reason to celebrate! Happy Pride, everyone!

engage culture. style. stuff.

unitevamag.com

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36 | UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com Lisa Vanderpump and Giggy

EXCLUSIVE INTER VIEW PUMP UP YOUR PRIDE - WITH -

LISA VANDERPUMP By, Justin Ayars, JD

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of Lisa Vanderpump. She is a British restaurateur, philanthropist, author, actress, television personality and staunch ally of the LGBT community. She is known for her appearances on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Vanderpump Rules and ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. Vanderpump and husband, Ken Todd, have owned 26 restaurants, bars and clubs in London and Los Angeles, including The Shadow Lounge, Bar Soho, SUR, PUMP and Villa Blanca. Before SCOTUS legalized marriage equality, Vanderpump officiated a gay wedding at her West Hollywood restaurant, PUMP. In 2015, Equality California bestowed Vanderpump with its annual Ally Leadership Award for her longtime support of the LGBT community.

Unite Virginia recently had the exclusive opportunity to interview Vanderpump and ask her all about celebrity, media and, of course, pride. As we celebrate Pride this summer and fall in Virginia and DC, we’d like to thank Lisa Vanderpump for taking the time to speak with us as well as our friend, Paula Ramirez of the Historic Mankin Mansion, who helped make this interview possible. So without any further ado, let’s pump up your pride with Lisa Vanderpump!

Q: Some believe that LGBT pride celebrations are irrelevant now that the LGBT community has won so many victories and the nation is increasingly embracing the community as a whole.

Others believe pride organizations are still important, perhaps now more than ever. What role do you think LGBT pride organizations should play in our post-marriage equality society?

A: I think it is about drawing attention, and that is why I have wanted GAY PRIDE to be featured on Vanderpump Rules for the fourth year now. There still is not the acceptance that we need. 40% of the homeless youth in America are LGBT due to the fact that so many people are thrown out of their homes after confronting their parents about their sexual orientation. Celebrations are still important to educate the community and are needed to until we change the statistics, because right now we are not a completely accepting society, especially about LGBT issues.

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Lisa Vanderpump and the Warwick Rowers

Q: You’ve been a longtime supporter of the LGBT community.

From being a spokesperson for GLAAD and playing an active role in the Trevor Project to leading the annual AIDS Walk Los Angeles and working with the Desert AIDS Project. You even won the Ally Leadership Award from Equality California last year. What makes the issue of LGBT rights so near and dear to your heart and when did you start making the issue of equality central to your life?

A: I’ve always felt passionately about the fact that people do not choose their sexual orientation. I have always been very aware of that. I’ve been privileged enough to be raised in a family without any prejudice against the LGBT community. I never understood why there was prejudice against people whose sexual orientation isn’t even harming anyone at all. I was taught to be kind to others and treat everyone equally.

Q: Even before the U.S. Supreme Court made marriage equality the law of the land, you officiated a gay wedding at your restaurant PUMP for Magno and Dominic Salva.

Knowing your strong support of marriage equality, why did you decide to support the movement by officiating a wedding?

A: I can use my television show as a platform to speak out about things that I am supportive of. My shows are broadcasted to 137 countries, to millions of people. TV is a very powerful medium and I think people know me very well. I’ve done over 200 episodes of RHOBH and if I can give parents a better

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Lisa Vanderpump, Ken Todd and Giggy

understanding of the LGBT community, I’ll do it. They need to understand that it’s all about accepting not tolerating, there is nothing they can do to change their child’s sexual orientation. I have been requested to do many more marriages since, but it’s not something I want to do on daily basis. It was all about drawing attention to the cause. I believe that as a heterosexual woman with children in a long standing marriage and as a business woman that I am a great conduit between the LGBT community and the heterosexual community.

Q: You’ve made incredible use of Twitter to espouse your views and carry on conversations about various topics, including LGBT rights. During the Oscars this year, you even supported Sam Smith when he dedicated his Oscar win for song of the year to the LGBT community by tweeting, “Oh Sam Smith...#LGBT thank you ...Moving forward one step at a time.” Why do you feel that Twitter is the most effective platform for you to engage your fans and the public at large?

A: I have over 1 million followers on Twitter and I actively engage with my fans. I hate to call my fans, “my fans,” because I don’t really know what they’re a fan of, I’m just a person living my life. But my supporters should we say, I have made some amazing relationships with over Twitter. Having those people support me when I’ve had dark times on reality television is important to me. When I have something important to say, I put it out there.

Newlyweds Magno & Dominic Salva at PUMP Restaurant

Lisa Vanderpump and Rumpy Pumpy

Q: You have been fortunate enough to enjoy many life experiences that most will never have. What are three things that you have not had the chance to do yet, but that you would really like to experience?

Q: What responsibilities do you think celebrities and, more broadly, the media have when it comes to influencing the tone and tenor of national conversations about topics of the day (e.g. - civil rights, politics and entertainment)?

A: 1. Maybe two years ago I would’ve said I’d like to have the success of being involved in bringing marriage equality to be accepted through the US, but that is done now. I would think my other cause is to ban the Yulin Dog Eating Festival.

A: Celebrities and the media have a huge amount of influence. I use the word celebrity loosely. One of the things celebrities should do is draw attention to causes that are important to them. Also, one of the most important responsibilities as a celebrity is to give back and draw attention to important causes. I have used my celebrity to draw attention to causes I am truly passionate about.

Right now I am becoming involved in the Trevor Line, a certified hotline for those in the LGBT community who are struggling and have no place to turn. I do provoke and initiate conversations, I don’t mind putting myself out there. Sometimes I’m controversial. I am sure that a lot of my viewers and supporters, when I was putting it out their about how I believe in marriage equality, didn’t agree with me. I told my children when they were growing up to listen to everyone and then form your own option. I think celebrities have a certain amount of responsibility in society and for the next generation.

2. I would like the experience of being a grandmother because I love being a mother (Pandora take notes).

3. I would like to speak at the United Nations again concerning the Yulin Festival. I spoke at the United Nations a year ago on the Ebola crisis and that was of utmost importance.

Photos courtesy of Lisa Vanderpump.

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Here’s My Dog, Harold By, Jennet Inglis

I feel lucky. I have often been graced with the charge, (the honor, really), of painting portraits of my friends, and my friend’s families. Those families are filled with life-partners, children, and also beloved animal companions.

Time and many generations have passed to change the face of our gay pride. Scanning through the centuries of those who have gone before us, we see that our culture’s pride has grown from private survival to public elation. The face of our pride has also evolved from public expressions of art and literature created by the privileged classes, to everyday portraits of our pride traveling to all corners of our world. In times past it seems only the privileged could afford to be proud of who they were, and only the privileged could, literally, afford to commission portraits of themselves and their loved ones.

Time has changed all of this.

For me, portrait commissions have everything to do with faces, pride, and time! Portrait paintings have more to do with time, than with the character and beauty of the subject. In my eyes, a painted portrait devotes itself to the pride of the individual subject captured in a timeless format. What I mean is this: pride points to the self-esteem one might have when deciding to have a portrait created. Timeless format refers specifically to how a painted portrait echoes an out-of-time admiration, love and devotion – a forever love that extends into the future beyond even the periphery of our own lives.

Concretely said: different from, (not better than), a photograph, it would be difficult to walk up to your portrait and say to yourself, or someone else, “Here ‘was’ my dog Harold.” Instead, your mind and heart would guide you to say to yourself, and others, “Here ‘is’ my dog Harold.”

Not better than a painted portrait, a photograph automatically navigates us to a specific age of the subject, a specific location where the photograph was taken, and the specific time when it was taken (year, day, time of day, etc.).

I am proud to be part of the generation that gave birth to what has become global gay-liberation. Our generation showed not so often the face of pride. The face of our early fight showed mostly rage, obstinacy, and determination. I don’t know many who congratulate themselves for being the ones who, in the beginning, shouldered the fight. I do know many who now fly free, whose self-esteem means they no longer feel pardoned for being who they are. Our tribe’s triumph is the miracle we sought. Our conquest is glorious. There is nothing I love more than being commissioned to paint our faces, our families, and our furry friends, each and every one blazoned with freedom, and pride.

My family and I live in Staunton, Virginia. Come visit us.

Jennet Inglis is an award winning artist whose work has been collected nationally and internationally. As a high-functioning autistic, Jennet’s passionate and rigorous study of science and nature evolved from an early age, as did her classical training in art. You can view her work on Facebook at Inglis Art. You can reach her at jennetinglis@gmail.com.

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My Experience at Engaged!

Virginia’s First Statewide LGBTQ Wedding Show

By, Tim Crumbly

When I woke up early in the day, being a young single male, I didn’t know much of what to expect from a wedding expo, much less the first ever LGBTQ wedding expo hosted by Unite Virginia and Richmond Weddings. I arrived with the other volunteers very early and we helped unload the vendors’ supplies and assisted as they setup their booths, transforming the room from an empty ballroom into an incredibly beautiful showroom.

As the guests started arriving, many of them stopped to get a picture at the red carpet outside the door to be a part of this monumental occasion. When I finally got the chance to walk around the room I went straight for the catering booths first. Let me tell you that I am not one to like coleslaw on my barbeque sandwiches, but after one taste I’m a true convert! Beautiful wedding photos, lighting fixtures, and many other decorations were all being shown through the whole room. Halfway into the expo, the DJ brought down the music and announced that there were two special guest speakers: Carol Schall and her daughter Emily Townley. Carol and her wife, Mary Townley, were plaintiffs in the famous Bostic v. Rainey case, which brought marriage equality to Virginia! It was humbling to be a part of something that was so historic. Carol and her daughter spoke of what life was like for them and the struggles they faced in Virginia just so they could legally be recognized as a loving family. I felt as though I was witnessing something that will be in Virginia’s history books!

Walking away at the end of the day I feel that I had gained great insight into what to expect from future wedding expos, especially as the reality of marriage equality sinks in for both loving couples and wedding vendors in the coming years. I saw firsthand that there truly is no difference between a gay wedding expo and a straight wedding expo.

People came together to celebrate a wonderful time in a couple’s life, and the vendors clearly showed that they were there to support couples of all kinds! Even though a wedding might be far off for me, I felt as though I was part of something bigger than myself when I left that day! I’m so happy that Unite Virginia and Richmond Weddings put on such an amazing event! This historic statewide wedding show proved to all Virginians that, no matter who you are, love wins!

HBO’s Confirmation

Reminds us of the Ongoing Fight for Equality By, Christian Meade

The Anita Hill - Thomas Clarence hearings had all the trademarks of a case that would leave Americans divided on who to believe.

As it turns out, the issues covered in HBO’s Confirmation are just as hotly debated today.

Anita Hill, then a law professor at Oklahoma, never wanted to be in the spotlight for the entire United States to see, but that’s what ensued when she was approached to tell her story of sexual harassment by Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas while she was working for him at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, ironically, an organization that aims to end sexual harassment in the workplace.

The ugly ordeal started 10 years before the case, with Hill claiming that Thomas had made numerous sexual overtures, inappropriate comments, and requests to date her. Thomas strongly rebuffed the accusations, comparing the hearings to a “high-tech lynching for uppity blacks.”

While the hearings ended inconclusively and Clarence Thomas was confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice by a Senate vote of 5248, it ignited heated debates across the country on race and gender that still persist today. Moreover, it inspired women to become more actively involved in politics with the media dubbing the 1992 election year the “Year of the Woman.” The actress portraying Hill, Kerry Washington, said in an interview, “Some of the issues are still rearing their head in terms of gender and race and how we understand those things. So the outcome of what happened was that the conversation began - and we want to make sure that that conversation continues.”

UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com | 43

ALEX: The Female Equivalent to Steve

By, Aria Maryn

P layable female characters in videogames are currently a novelty. The vast majority of games cast

players as a male protagonist, and it doesn’t surprise anyone. However, when a game allows players to play as a woman, it is delightfully surprising – and that’s what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t be surprised by the presence of playable female characters – we should be surprised by their absence. A study featured on the Washington Post website in August 2014 found that women make up 48 percent of the gaming population, while the remaining 52 percent are male. Adult women also outnumber boys under eighteen in the gaming community. The presence of women in the community is steadily increasing – in 2010, women made up just 40 percent of the gaming population.

Mojang, a prominent video game developer, recently announced that Minecraft will be getting a free update that will introduce the character Alex, a female equivalent to Steve. In the post that announced the update, Mojang said, “jolly old Steve doesn’t really represent the 44 | UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com

diversity of our playerbase.” This is completely accurate, as is shown by the statistics cited above. Mojang knows their audience, and they’re smart enough to realize that a sizable part of their playerbase is made up of female gamers who might not want to play as a man. From a business and customer service perspective, Mojang made a smart move that will undoubtedly attract more players to the game while exciting current players at the same time.

The announcement of Alex sparked headlines like, “Minecraft Finally Added a Female Default Character” and, “You can finally choose to play as a girl in Minecraft.” The key word that keeps popping up is “finally.”

This is something that the community wants. The praise that Mojang has received for adding a female character is an indication that the inclusion of women in video games is a huge step in the right direction.

The Call of Duty series is usually seen as a very stereotypically masculine franchise. As a woman, people are surprised when I tell them that I’ve played nearly every game in the series. “I like to play online

matches to blow off steam,” I say, but people are still a bit surprised. Treyarch, another videogame developer, however, understands this. I am far from the only woman who plays Call of Duty from time to time.

However, there has never been a playable female character in a Call of Duty campaign – until now.

Female soldiers were first announced for Call of Duty: Black Ops III in the game’s announcement trailer. A recent preview

by GameSpot’s Chris Watters stated that Black Ops III, “is the first CoD game that allows the player to choose the gender of the campaign protagonist, and while there is separate voice acting for both male and female characters, the script is roughly the same.” While 2013’s Call of Duty: Ghosts was the first CoD game to bring playable female characters into the game, this was only available in the multiplayer section of the game. Black Ops III allows players to

experience the campaign through a woman’s eyes, and that is an extremely exciting feature.

Game developers have obviously been working on integrating women into their games, and both Mojang and Treyarch deserve the credit that they’re getting.

However, the problem here is that a playable female character is news – it’s abnormal. The final reveal in Metroid is still seen as one of the most important and shocking moments in gaming, because it never crossed anybody’s mind that Samus was anything but male. Since then, we’ve seen mostly male protagonists. There are quite a few exceptions that have done especially well.

Many RPGs (The Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Dragon Age, Mass Effect, World of Warcraft, Neverwinter, etc.) have allowed female

players to play through deep and exciting stories as characters that they can personally identify with. Having the choice between a male character and a female character also provides more role-playing opportunities for players of any gender identity. Games like The Last of Us, Borderlands, Resident Evil, and Alien: Isolation have shown gamers that female characters can be strong and fierce, just like male characters. The recent Tomb Raider re-boot transformed Lara Croft from a pixelated sex symbol into a role model.

This is exciting! Things are slowly getting better in some aspects. However, if we want to take this issue seriously and inspire change, we need to keep discussing it – and discussing it means also talking about ways that the situation is not getting better.

I remember playing Forza Horizon 2 last year and being shocked that I couldn’t change the gender or appearance of the driver that’s supposed to be “me.” This isn’t

a game like Halo or Gears of War, where the story relies on the protagonist being male, nor is it a game like Metroid or American McGee’s Alice, where the story depends on a female main character. Forza Horizon 2’ s protagonist is completely silent. Characters like this are just lenses through which we see the world that the developers have created. There’s really no reason for these types of characters to be gendered at all. But if someone feels like making the character’s gender clear, the player should at least choose whether they want to play as a man or a woman for the dozens of hours that they will spend playing. In Persona 3 Portable, the player was allowed to choose between a male or female protagonist. The change was so well received that it seemed obvious that Persona 5 would also feature the same

choice. Unfortunately, as we have recently been made aware, it seems that the title will do no such thing.

It seems that for every step forward, there is a step back. With shadows of Gamergate (the Gamergate controversy concerns issues of sexism and progressivism in video game culture, stemming from a harassment campaign conducted primarily through the use of the Twitter hashtag #GamerGate) still floating through the industry, it’s not exactly the best time to be a woman in the games industry, or even a female gamer – but we’re all still here. We love video games. We love the people that create them and the worlds that they craft. And, most of all, we love the way that gaming brings people together. By “we,” I don’t just mean women – this is about the entire gaming community. We have the power to take steps forward, to support the presence of playable female characters in games, to support the inclusion of

LGBTQIA+ characters in games, and to support each other through our shared passion.

I’m not calling for any sort of intense action here. I just want to contribute to this crucially important conversation that the entire gaming community should be engaging in. Our love of games connects us, and we can use this bond to change things. If we can stand together as a diverse community with open minds, there is no limit to what we can achieve.

Hopefully, when a game featuring a female playable character is released a few years from now, nobody will be writing articles about it.

For more of Aria Maryn’s thoughts on this topic, visit: http://www.loadthegame.com/2015/04/29/playable-female-characters-important/ UNITE Virginia | unitevamag.com | 45

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