To An Unknown God Fall 2009

THEME: WOMEN

To An Unknown God

A JOURNAL OF CHRISTIAN THOUGHT AT BERKELEY VOLUME 2 ISSUE 2 FALL 2009

to an

Unknown God

Fall 2009

Cover: Women

Church

Was Will Das Weib?

12 Discuss Pornography Explicitly

3

Women and Dating

13 A Testimony about Pornography

5

If God is Not…

14 Finding My Passion For God

A Big Misunderstanding?

15 Holding Nonprofit ceos Accountable

2

7 9

There is good we can do.

Laura Ferris Ladies: ask him out!

John Montague

The female side of God Emily Stone Are feminism and Christianity incompatible?

Elizabeth Segran

Transformational Leaders

Women's leadership and God's Kingdom Whitney Moret

A call to action Stephanie Chiao

A frank reflection Anonymous

Knowledge is not enough.

Eric Tsang

For greedy salaries John Montague

Reflection 16 Her Gift of Love Learning from Mary Christine Kuang

18 Given Four Letters…

Personality: Personal, I tease Rachel Yeung

Visuals Artwork William Blake (23) Paul Haymon (8) Rembrandt (28) Emily Stone (19) Connie Wong (10-11)

Photographs Grace Ho (facing page, 1, 20) Cover Valerie Lu (artwork) Cliff Mak (design)

To An Unknown God is not affiliated with any church or other religious group, and opinions expressed in articles do not necessarily represent those of the editors. We are completely student-run and funded partly by the student body as an ASUC-sponsored student publication. Funding is also provided through individual donations. Distribution is free while supplies last.

Poetry 20 On the Cross Vivian Deng

21 On Being Contained Lauren Gully

What's Cooking?

Daniel Kim

22 Dearest Grace Kim

23 Backtalk Grace Kim

24 Relocate Besorah Won

26 Sketches from the muni Bus or Desk Kevin Christopher

Fiction 28 A Confession Sean Jeong

Reviews 30 In Search of Nostalgia Music: Blue Roses; Cut Me Down and Count My Rings Elizabeth Segran

31 What Gives?

Book: The Life You Can Save Clara Bosak-Schroeder

25 Dust Moment Scott Schuleit

Photograph by Grace Ho

To An Unknown God Fall • 2009 editor-in-chief

Dear Reader,

Stephanie Chiao In keeping with this journal’s mission to foster dialogue between Christian communities on campus, the editors of To An Unknown God chose “women” as this issue’s cover theme. We believe this is a pertinent and meaningful subject for our readers, and we have explored topics such as dating, leadership, sexuality, and more. As in previous issues, we hope that our journal will challenge individuals to carefully examine their beliefs and ultimately contribute their first and best fruits to God’s Kingdom on earth.

On October 24, a fifteen-year-old girl was beaten and raped for two and a half hours at a high school homecoming dance in Richmond by a gang of at least twenty boys: investigators estimate that ten took part in the rape – more just watched. When the police finally arrived near midnight, they found the girl unconscious beneath a picnic table. It took so long for help to arrive because none of the men or boys who had watched or participated in the attack called 911, only another girl who heard the story through the grapevine later that night. The girl survived, and her condition is stable, but the scars she bears may stay with her for her entire life. The scars our community bears – because our culture teaches men that it’s acceptable to dehumanize and violate defenseless women instead of protecting them – will take even longer to heal.

As Christians, we participate in the ministry of reconciliation as God’s adopted daughters and sons. We are called to be the “salt of the earth” and the “light of this world,” acting as forces that preserve life and shine light on evil. This work of restoration includes healing of the relationships between women, men, and God – and learning to see women as God sees them. As society and societal views on women change, we must take up our roles as prophets and healers, and we must contribute to the evolution of a Christian voice to speak out and understand women as God does.

We invite you to explore this issue with us now.

executive editor Laura Ferris

managing editors Grace Ho Daniel Kim

publisher Sarah Cho

Assistant Editors Ethan Bae Vivian "Wei" Deng Kate Greenwood Lauren Gully Chris Han Elizabeth Han Kirstie Lee Javonna Stewart Emily Stone Bethany Young James Zhao

Staff & contributors Wayland Blue, Clara Bosak-Schroeder, Rachel Cardenas, Kevin Christopher, Paul Haymon, Darren Hsiung, Sean Jeong, Grace Kim, Christine Kuang, Valerie Lu, Scott Schuleit, Elizabeth Segran, Jesse Tsai, Eric Tsang, Connie Wong, Besorah Won, Rachel Yeung

Editors Emeriti Stephanie Chiao

Cliff Mak, John Montague, Whitney Moret

Photograph by Grace Ho

“Therefore I am now

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going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.”

“In that day,” declares

16

the Lord, “you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master.’”

Hosea 2:14, 16

Was will das Weib?

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writer

Laura Ferris

There is good we can do.

Let's.

•

Laura Ferris is a fourthyear history major from Davis, California.

2 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

O

ne afternoon in June, I grabbed lunch with the college pastor at my church to catch up and to seek his advice. Heading into my senior year, I had been thinking about my history of romantic misadventures and what this meant for my future relationships. I had come to a conclusion.

I told him the story of the past three years.

The first time a boy broke my heart I was nineteen years old; it was springtime, but other than that it wasn’t very exciting. I hadn’t liked him as much as I liked the idea of having a boyfriend, we weren’t very compatible, yet I let my whimsical nature and boredom get the better of me anyway. Disgusted by the situation, I spent a summer reading Heidegger and Kierkegaard, styling myself as a Christian existentialist and a hopeless romantic. I then proceeded to fall in love with someone, get my heart broken, and then, in my grief and disillusionment, restrain myself from giving any guy within a five-mile radius merry hell. Despite my idealism and honorable intentions, I once again found myself thinking very bitterly about love to mask my deeper devastation.

“I think,” I said, near tears, “that I’m going to be single for a long time because I can’t handle this scene. My heart is broken too easily, and I don’t think I can settle for a good-for-now relationship just for comfort or recreation. I care too much. What can I do in the meantime, while I wait?”

He didn’t answer this question, but said, instead, as though he had heard a different question entirely, “Laura, it sounds like you’ve been disappointed by these boys – to some extent because their behavior is, quite frankly, disappointing – but I also think that you’re at the age where you’re going to be disappointed: you expect a lot from others and yourself. And single, dating – the question is what you’re going to do

in the face of disappointment: are you going to live a full life of faith that someone can someday come alongside, or are you going to end up with someone as cynical and jaded as you are becoming?”

I felt the salutary sting of challenge. He was right. I hadn’t addressed the root of the problem: what to do in the face of disappointment.

I hadn’t interrogated my expectations to find out what they said about my beliefs about myself and other people. When I did, I began to understand that my expectations, which I thought were so high, were not high enough. I saw love as something transactional and contractual, a matter of compatibility, circumstances, and a kind of righteousness: a right order of relationships. I should be with you because of x, y, z; I should not be with you because of x, y, z. These variables were undefined and mutable, and that was the problem. I didn’t know what I really wanted – all I knew was that whatever it was, I wasn’t getting it.

Alone later, I let my thoughts travel deeply inward to the core of me, gingerly touching and feeling the outlines of the wound, the deep need for another person’s love and understanding. My mind raced around circles, trying to create the most romantic fantasy, the fulfillment of my dearest wish: What do I really want from you?

What do I really need from you? I want, I need…

I need you to hold me in your arms and tell me about Jesus. I began to sob. There. That was it.

That was it entirely. I felt shaken. What are my true expectations and non-negotiables when it comes to love? Give me Jesus; preach the gospel.

Even on the most awkward first date, even in the messiest break-up, even in our moments of delirious incandescence, we have good news to share. Everything else disappoints, but beyond the hormones and heartbreak the unalterable fact remains – there is good we can do here. •

Women

and Dating I

have a question for my female readers: women, are you romantically interested in a male friend whom you do not think is ever going to ask you out? If the answer to this question is yes, I want you to tell him or ask him on a date. Yes, I hear you protesting: “But that’s not my job; he’s supposed to—” Wait. Why is he supposed to be the one to initiate a relationship?

On two separate occasions, male friends recently complained to me that their college pastors have been haranguing them to ask women out on dates. Their stories remind me of my own undergraduate days, during which not only the leader of my college fellowship but also the pastor at my church lectured us men to date more.

These exhortations were not directed at the women in our church; no, it was the men who were to be asking the women. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the women were the impetus for these sermons; it was the women who wanted to date more than the men. Why, then, did the college pastors lean on the men to initiate the dating?

First, I want to dismiss the idea that male-initiated relationships are a biblical directive. The Bible itself does not speak at all about the modern institution of dating; instead, it offers examples of arranged marriages. Yet, I do not know any Christians who actually advocate arranged marriage, despite its unquestionable biblical precedent. Most Christians acknowledge that it is merely a cultural relic, an example that is only descriptive and not prescriptive. I agree with this understanding, but I also believe these same Christians should apply this logic to other manifestations of patriarchy.

These Christians also ignore the fact that there are examples in the Bible of women pursuing men. For instance, in the Song of Solomon, the book of the Bible that speaks most directly of erotic love, we see several examples in which the woman pursues the man (e.g., Song of Sol.

3:1-4). Or consider Ruth, who with Naomi carefully hatches a plot to attract Boaz’s attention so that he will marry her (Ruth 3:1-18). Both of these women are blessed for their pursuit of these men, indicating God’s favor.

Second, I believe the notion that men have to be the ones to ask is actually a product of our own patriarchal culture. Less than a hundred years ago, women could not vote. Fifty years ago, women could not attend many of the major universities in our country. As we continue to question the mores of our parents and grandparents, why have we not likewise vetted the belief that the woman is forbidden to ask the man?

Third, consider the alternatives to my proposal. Women will not refrain from forming affections; everyone does. Rather, they will hide those feelings, wrestling with them inside, yearning for the men to ask them out.

Chances are, these hidden sentiments will manifest themselves in flirtations as love-stricken women do their best to attract the attention of the men they desire. If these efforts prove futile, they may resort to theater, performing in a way or feigning interest in things that they believe will make themselves more attractive. These behaviors teach women to pander to men, setting a dangerous pattern for any relationships they later enter.

Worse, these women may come to hate themselves, to desire to be someone else, to question the value of their physical appearance, their social graces, and their passions. Finally, they may come to resent Cupid’s arrow entirely, feeling embittered and even resentful of men.

Most of these alternatives are self-destructive. In contrast, my proposal has the additional benefit of honesty, itself a biblical virtue. Is it not preferable that men and women be straightforward and transparent in their relationships with each other, that they not play at endless

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writer

John Montague

•

•

John Montague is a third-year law student at Berkeley. He is originally from Charlottesville, Virginia.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 3

1 I would also offer the same counsel to men who are considering asking out a woman. I will assert, without argument, that these are the ideal preconditions for a dating relationship, which I believe should be more than casual.

The subject of what dating should be could consume an entire article, and it is not my intent to address it here.

3 C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt, 1960), 67.

4 I acknowledge the response of some may be to continue to pine for their lover, and I would recommend that these women or men examine the roots of their dissatisfaction, seeking to uncover the idolatry that is almost certainly present, the idolatry that promises them happiness if only…

This promise is only a lie that leads away from God. Instead, I urge them to ask God for faith in His promises, promises that He has a plan for them that is superior to their own longings.

5 I urge anyone to read C.S. Lewis’s memorable fictional portrayal of the damaging power of this type of “love” in Till We Have Faces.

2 Addressing the arguments made by John Eldredge in Wild at Heart and Captivating would require another article. It will suffice to say here that the foundation for Eldredge’s argument is his gut instinct and his idolization of Braveheart, not the Bible. Eldredge’s picture of romance seems downright bestial, characteristic of animals for whom every act of sex is tantamount to rape – hardly cultural sentiments Christians should want to baptize.

4 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

games? As Proverbs tells us, open rebuke is better than hidden love (Prov. 27:5).

Finally, I want to offer some practical advice and deal with a few potential objections. It is important to understand that my proposal applies to a particular scenario: a woman who has become friends with a man over a significant time period, has good reason to like and trust him, and has sought out the advice of her friends in this matter.1 Women (and men) should not be impatient, overhasty to enter a relationship before they know the other person as a friend. They should also closely examine their hearts, seeking to root out impure motives that would lead them into a relationship because they are seeking validation from another human being. Such relationships are doomed to failure because no other human can offer that unconditional acceptance, for which we must look to God. I know that some women – and men – may object to my proposal because they believe it will “rob a man of his manhood.” However, this objection merely reveals that those who make it have not examined the power of their cultural biases. It is only our culture that defines this as a “manly” duty. As noted above, I do not believe, contra John Eldredge et al., that there is anything biblical in the notion that the man is the pursuer and the woman the pursued.2 In fact, such an arrangement is closer to evolutionary ethics than it is to Christian. On the other hand, it could be argued with some fairness that men are too timid or immature in their approach to dating; I will not deny that this is sometimes the case.

It is at this problem of fear, so connected with identity and our understanding of the gospel, that the college pastors should be directing their polemics; asking such men to simply suck it up and ask women out is not addressing the root of the problem and will solve nothing.

Some women may object that they will be

turned down, that the man does not actually have any romantic feelings for them. To this I offer two counterarguments. First, their position in this regard is no different from what men already must endure. If anything, perhaps these women will come to have greater sympathy for the trepidation that men must bring to the task.

Second, even if there is not already some attraction between the friends, it may develop. As C.S. Lewis writes, “When the two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which arises between them will very easily pass … into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later.”3 Even if no mutual romance does develop, at least the woman will have the satisfaction of knowing how the man feels and will be able to center her attentions elsewhere.4 Further, if the man’s preferences are too superficial for such affections to develop (e.g., if he idolizes a certain ideal of beauty), it is better that the woman know this now. Ideally, this knowledge should make him unattractive to her: his heart is not so beautiful.

In closing, I admonish both women and men to remember two things in all of their romantic relationships. First, our primary duty is to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). It is only from this complete devotion to God that we are able to love each other in a non-destructive way, else our love will only be selfish.5 Second, the greatest danger of all romantic relationships is that they will lead us away from God, as Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7. Relationships too easily bind our hearts to earthly concerns, and we must be conscious lest we sacrifice the Ultimate on the altar of the good. •

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If God is not… …an ancient man with a white beard, then for heaven’s sake what is He, and where does the woman fit in?

I

feel that women bear an additional burden as Christians beyond the customary trials of faith. Speaking for myself, I have experienced trouble disclosing myself to someone who appears to be an overwhelmingly masculine, patriarchal God – the God of Abraham, of Isaac, and of Jacob, Jesus the son of David, etc.

The Bible places such an emphasis on mannishness – an Old Testament saturated in testosterone, and a New Testament regaling further tales of men’s journeys and adventures.

How can I possibly conceive that God empathizes with my plight, or with the plight of women in general, given the virtual female obscurity in the Bible, day-to-day battles with societal roles and images, misogyny, sexual equality and so on? How can my Father help me when I struggle with sexuality, relationships, my female identity in the Christian community, and this body to which I am assigned?

The earthly template prescribing the role which a father fulfills for his daughter causes God the Father to appear even more alarmingly detached from a woman’s experience. Support regarding these subjects is not normally provided for in father-daughter relationships, so how can I expect to feel comfortable approaching God about these problems? Why should He care? He’s never experienced any of this womanstuff before. I also bashfully rationalize – based, again, on worldly experiences – that these subjects ought to be taboo for discussion with the Heavenly Father, since mortal fathers don’t particularly relish hearing about the physical and emotional development of a once pure, simple, unproblematic little girl. I often get the impres-

sion that God genuinely does not want to deal with women, or at least the writers of the Bible didn’t seem to, and there is certainly small attention paid to our problems in a good number of Christian congregations. I’ve quit trying, many times, to forge a connection with Him when I am fighting a temptation or insecurity, saying plainly to Him, “God, you can’t possibly understand!” Such was my strained relationship with a seemingly aloof, inapplicable God – inapplicable to my life and experiences, inapplicable to my sex.

A while back, a small passing comment in a pastor’s sermon began to change my opinions: One of the titles for God, El-Shaddai, usually translated as “The Almighty,” ostensibly has its roots in the Hebrew word for “breast,” giving ElShaddai the alternate meaning of “The Breasted One” or “The One who nurtures.” The notion of a father with breasts had never once entered my mind until then, but such is the uniqueness of our God, who manifests himself in the strangest of ways at times. Taking a look at where this title appears in the Bible fortifies this argument, for it is normally used when God is bestowing fruitfulness and accompanied with explicit references to female anatomy. Genesis 49:25 is a prime example, where Jacob’s blessing on his son Joseph includes an invocation to “The Almighty who will bless you with the blessings of Heaven above, blessings of the deep that lies beneath, blessings of the breasts and the womb.”

The use of this title in general intends to portray a God who is almighty in His fertile, nurturing abilities. It is also strikingly un-masculine, a scandalous contrast to the Deity whom most

writer

Emily Stone

•

• Emily Stone is a sophomore majoring in Molecular and Environmental Biology.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 5

Paul Haymon Untitled Ink, Digitally Edited

envision as man, ancient and geriatric, yet physically fit, with an impressive beard. The insight was certainly cause for me to be taken aback yet thrilled. Clearly, if God associates Himself with the female body then I have no cause to be ashamed of mine; if the Lord can celebrate the female physique, its contours and its functions, then I ought to do likewise.

Beyond the association of breasts and wombs with God, plenty of passages exist in the Bible that depict the Lord as a loving mother in order to emphasize His unyielding compassion. For instance, in Isaiah 49:15, “The Lord answers, ‘Can a mother forget the baby who is nursing at her breast? Can she stop showing her tender love to the child who was born to her? She might forget her child. But I will not forget you.’” And even Jesus likens himself to a mother hen who would cover her chicks under her wing (Matt.

23:37).

It isn’t often that I think of God as my Mother, for the idea of Him as a Father is a far more prevalent notion in our culture. But by what other means can we come to recognize the absolute, unconditional, abounding love that He has for us? God knows us better than we know ourselves, we are His delight and His constant preoccupation, He feels our pain and our joy as keenly as though it were His own, He listens attentively to our every thought and prayer, He will always be there with arms wide to cradle us in our distress. When we have strayed, He will go to any lengths to seek us out: To have us safe with Him, He would give anything, He would subject Himself to the worst torture, He would lay down His very life. And there is nothing – nothing that can separate us from that unrelenting love and devotion.

Not even being a woman, it seems, can separate me from God. Indeed, realization of His feminine character gives me confidence that women hold far greater importance in the Christian scheme than is normally let on, that God is more applicable to my sex than I could ever have imagined. Now, instead of merely ignoring or glossing over these insightful passages with female imagery in the Bible, I study them: I cherish them. Through the verses, I hear God telling me how precious, important, and dear I am – for my sex in addition to my status as His human creation. I see Him revealing Himself and behaving in a manner that is applicable to my own femininity, when I once thought that the Bible had no relevance for me in that sense. Thinking of the facets of God’s female personality inspires me to be like Him in those ways: His loving heart drives me to be more compassionate and affectionate; His

6 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

nurturing Spirit gives me cause to protect and encourage; His creative genius drives me to produce art, appreciate His natural world, and make a positive impact on my surroundings. Just as men can have “man-to-man” conversations with God, I feel that I can have “woman-to-woman” communion with Him, and even a Motherdaughter relationship. There is nothing to be filtered in my prayers and so there are no awkward topics I feel uncomfortable discussing: God knows me.

Of course, it is essential to remember that all metaphors for God are like small portraits which capture mere fragments of His deep, infinite character. God is neither man nor woman – He is more than man or woman – and plant and animal associations abound nearly as frequently throughout the Bible. The important awareness that I gain from my newfound knowledge is a reaffirmation that I, too, am made in God’s image. The female qualities of which I am comprised are not foreign to my Creator – quite the opposite, they are drawn from Him. This knowledge gives me a very good foundation on which to heal and grow with a God who does not feel so far away anymore. Rather, I am relishing my faith in an Almighty, inclusive God who is not just the God of the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but of the matriarchs Ruth, Esther, and Mary. He is the God of all man- and womankind. I can offer praise now, without restraint, to my Almighty Creator, my breasted Father, my Mother Hen. •

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a big misunderstanding?

I

recently visited the Tate Britain. In one of the galleries, I chanced upon a trilogy of paintings by George Fredric Watts that presents a complex portrayal of Eve. Painted in 1897, they are a stunning burst of color and light, depicting the female form in all of its beauty. In one painting, titled, “She shall be called Woman,” Eve is rising up from the earth, amidst billowing clouds. The two other paintings recount her fall from grace. In “Eve Tempted,” Eve is shown greedily consumed by her desire for the forbidden fruit, while in “Eve Repentant” she is seen crumpled in a corner, unable to show her face.

It occurred to me that the Eve Trilogy encapsulates some of the tensions between the church and the feminist movement. While the painting is virtuosic and aesthetically pleasing, it also conveys the somber message that woman is singlehandedly responsible for the Fall. This is the same narrative that the church has used to justify misogynistic practices for centuries. The narrative goes something like this: Woman gave into temptation, therefore woman is responsible for God’s wrath against mankind and she must, at the very least, be eternally relegated to her role as child bearer. Some have taken it further, arguing that women are a dangerous force and must be subjugated so that they do not cause further devastation.

This message was articulated explicitly by some of church’s fathers. Augustine of Hippo once wrote, “What is the difference whether it is in a wife or a mother, it is still Eve the temptress that we must beware of in any woman. I fail to see what use woman can be to man, if one excludes the function of bearing children.”1 Martin Luther was equally harsh towards women, writing, “If (women) become tired or even die, that does not matter. Let them die in childbirth, that’s why they are there.”2 These are not obscure theologians, but figures who were central to the establishment of the modern church.

Understandably, feminists have taken on the church as an enemy. They have argued that the church’s misogynistic ideologies have been deployed to reinforce many forms of women’s subjugation. The key feminist texts have made reference to Christianity’s woman-hating tendencies. Simone de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex (1949) and Kate Millet’s Sexual Politics (1969) both condemn the Bible as one of the founding texts of patriarchy. Even now, as the culture wars rage on, new conflicts arise between the church and the feminist movement. Recent battles have included the issues of abortion, contraception, and women’s place in family life.

I am interested in whether Christianity and feminism really are contradictory belief systems.

At the outset, I would like to point out that it is easy to disingenuously cut and paste a range of conflicting ideas for the sake of appearing politically correct. I have no intention of doing this here. I simply ask whether mainstream Christianity is inherently misogynistic.

Much of this debate boils down to definitions. In the midst of the heated crossfire, there is often a lot of vagueness about what each party means by Christianity or Feminism (with a capital F). While these are multifarious ideologies, I think there are some basic definitions that can be agreed upon.

Protestant Christians generally subscribe to the Nicene Creed, which postulates basic beliefs about the historical figure of Jesus: his divinity, his death, and his eventual resurrection for the forgiveness of sins. Additionally, Christians take the Bible to be their formative text.

While many denominations assert that the Bible is inerrant, the extent to which differences in culture should be allowed to influence interpretation remains an open question.

Feminism is a response to deep-rooted social systems and ideologies that subjugate women.

As such, it claims that women’s labor, their social

writer

Elizabeth Segran

Are feminism and Christianity really at odds with one another? Or are they merely cross-talking?

1 The Fathers of the Church - A New Translation, Volume 32, St Augustine Letters (204-270), trans. Sr Wilfrid Parsons, S. N. D. (New York: Fathers of the Church, Inc, 1956): Letter 243.

2 Davidson, Lisa Wilson. Preaching the Women of the Bible. (Chalice Press: 2006), 122.

Elizabeth Segran is finishing her doctoral dissertation which combines ancient Indian poetry with radical feminist theory. She is currently dividing her time between the UK, the US, India and France.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 7

relationships, their sexuality and the way they are represented in the media need to be reconsidered. Feminists disagree about what exactly counts as oppression and how this oppression should be countered; but as a group, feminists desire equality between the genders. As a fundamental concept, this is quite compatible with Christianity: Galatians 3:28 directly states that the sexes are equal under Christ.

Now we can consider areas of conflict. The majority of misogynistic beliefs based on the Bible have to do with the Old Testament and, as we have already seen, the figure of Eve. The church fathers who presented devastating attacks on womankind were offering a particular reading of Scripture. Every interpretation of the Bible is inevitably informed by culture and these offending authors were writing at a time when misogyny was mainstream. But I would argue that their interpretation is particularly flawed because they fail to distinguish between descriptions of women and prescriptions about how men and women should relate to one another. A negative portrayal of a woman does not warrant misogyny. Indeed, most male heroes in the Bible are deeply flawed, yet we are not encouraged to hate them.

When we move away from these second-hand sources and examine the text itself, we see that Jesus’ own interactions with women were far from patriarchal. He had several non-sexual relationships with female friends (Mary, Martha, Mary Magdalene), whom he treated with respect and compassion. The Bible recounts him engaging with these women intellectually as well as emotionally: he often questioned the women’s positions and urged them to see things differently. The Gospel of John even recounts Jesus’ conversation with a lower-class, promiscuous Samaritan woman – a person whom Jesus treats with the utmost respect and love and through whom he brings an entire city to believe ( John 4:1-42). He also defended another woman caught in adultery, pointing out the guilt of the men who desired to stone her ( John 8:1-11). Throughout the Gospels, we see that his treatment of women was not so different from his treatment of men except for the fact that he only commissioned men to be his disciples. Still, women were much more central to the resurrection narrative: while men betrayed Jesus in his time of need, women stood by him as he was crucified, attended to his burial needs, and were the first to encounter his resurrected self.

In his preaching, Jesus did not present an extensive analysis of gender relations. However, in the Sermon on the Mount, he denounced adultery and called for men to be judicious when calling for divorce (Matt. 5:27-32). These positions are particularly helpful to women, who are more affected by infidelity in societies where they are financially dependent on men. (This is true today in developing countries.) Jesus makes small steps toward claiming rights for women. His behavior and words are at odds with the extreme misogyny articulated by Augustine and Luther.

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It is important to remember that the Bible was written centuries before feminism emerged, at a time when patriarchy was normative. Given the culture in which it was written, the Bible radically usurped patriarchal values. Throughout the Old and New Testaments, younger sons are favored instead of the firstborn: consider Jacob and Esau, Joseph, King David, or even the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). Also, monogamy is consistently upheld over polygamy, which was commonly practiced throughout the ancient Near East. Paul asserted monogamous marriage to be the norm, even relating it to Christ’s relationship to the church (Eph. 5:21-33; Col. 3:18-19).

While the Bible sheds some light on gender, I think we must acknowledge that it does not offer answers to every contentious issue in the modern context. The Bible has no explicit directives on contraception and abortion, for instance. On these thorny issues, Christians must rely on a code of ethics derived from a holistic interpretation of the Bible, rather than on specific injunctions.

Christians have made persuasive arguments against abortion. Conversely, many Christians support the pro-choice position because they believe that outlawing abortions drives them underground – and illegal abortions are more life-threatening to women than legal ones. Ultimately, many of these decisions must be made on the basis of personal conviction rather than religious ideology. It would be helpful to all parties if we recognized that we must sometimes make moral judgments on the basis of wisdom and reason rather than direct prescriptions from the Bible.

Much of the church’s current animosity towards feminism comes from its suspicion of the sexual liberation movement of the 1970s. The movement encouraged women to take back their sexuality, which had previously been controlled by men, by being promiscuous and openly sexual. This outlook has been a central feature of the feminist movement for some time. However, feminists themselves are beginning to rethink their views on sexuality.

There has recently been a spate of feminist books on how the hypersexualization of modern culture is disempowering to women.

Ariel Levy’s Female Chauvinist Pigs, Wendy Shalit’s Girls Gone Mild, and Laura Sessions Stepp’s Unhooked argue that for years, women believed that having casual, uncommitted sex would lead to their liberation, and yet practicing such a lifestyle has left women emotionally bankrupt and physically vulnerable. The research in these books indicates that many women today feel worse off after a lifetime of sexual encounters that have not given way to a committed partner.

Feminism is a work in progress. Christians should align themselves with those who seek gender equality so that they can actively contribute to the movement, instead of merely shouting criticisms from the sidelines. •

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Transformational Leaders

W

e’ve all had the discussion – with our best friends, boyfriends, families – what would happen if women ran the world? A brother balks at the idea, a father suggests that maybe women would just rather be at home with the kids, a sister recalls her domineering woman boss and catty female coworkers. According to Robin Williams, “we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every twenty-eight days.” The fact is, disproportionately few women occupy elite positions of leadership. There is no model for what a world dominated by women might look like. But, in the developed world, as technological innovation has propelled productivity to dizzying new levels, as life spans stretch further, and comforts, luxuries, and freedoms transform from distant dreams to basic rights, global society is entering into a new phase.

The recent financial crisis has opened American eyes to the inequalities at home, and an explosion of ngo activity and flows of money from the developed to developing nations reflect a heightened awareness of inequality and injustice abroad. The rise of “green” branding illuminates a new wave of conscious consumerism that turns neoclassical economic theory on its ear. As the centuries of pillaging nature, of fighting to innovate, of creating efficiency, of producing the biggest and baddest comes to a head in the environment, global economy, and international affairs, society is responding by taking a collective stake in fixing the mess.

God’s vision for his Kingdom on earth is a vision of redemption – of fixing the mess of a fallen people – and he equips his faithful children with the gifts and power of the Holy Spirit to make this happen. Seeking the Kingdom means allowing creation to do what it was designed to do: reflect God’s glory. This means

making the world a place where the truth of the gospel can be revealed and equipping others to do the will of God. This is a world of living in community, in love, and in conscious emulation of Jesus Christ. In a male-dominated world characterized by greed, selfishness, and mankind’s unswerving desire to dominate, women’s leadership stands as a hopeful alternative, and a resource designed by God to bring about the redemptive power of his Kingdom.

The concept of women’s leadership as a unique, feminine variety is not without criticism. Though some thinkers have reproached the dominant model of women’s leadership for reproducing gender stereotypes, many agree that, gender labels aside, it provides a refreshing alternative to the status quo paradigm of leadership.1 Women’s leadership is characterized as relations-based, non-hierarchical, participatory, collaborative, and democratic. These qualities also fall under the concept of transformational leadership, which, though not synonymous with women’s leadership, is more likely to be found in women than men.2 Other features include providing “individualized consideration, being intellectually stimulating,” and cultivating “good interpersonal skills.” Psychologist Carol Gilligen identifies women leaders as building “strong relationships where they seek to please or serve others.”3 Men, in contrast, are more likely to employ a transactional style of leadership, which is more “task-oriented and autocratic.”4 Gilligen identifies men with the values of “individual autonomy and freedom, moral reasoning, and the vigilant defense of individual rights.”5 Men leaders value being “aggressive, competitive, and tough.”6 Throughout history, this type of leadership has dominated society, and when women reach powerful positions of authority, they are

writer

Whitney Moret

The New Era of Women's Leadership and the Kingdom of God 1 Y. Billing and M. Alvesson. 2000.

Questioning the Notion of Feminine Leadership: A Critical Perspective on the Gender Labelling of Leadership. Per Henrik Lings Väg, Sweden: Blackwell.

2 B. Bass and R. Riggio. 2006. Transformational Leadership, Ed. 2. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. p. 112.

3 D. Korten. 2006. The Great Turning: From Empire to Earth Community. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers. p. 324.

4 Bass and Riggio, 114.

5 Korten, 324.

6 Bass and Riggio, 118.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 9

10 Korten, 93-4.

7 Momaya, Masum. 2009. “Can 'Feminine' Leadership Mend the Economic Crisis in Iceland?” AWID. http://awid. org/eng/Issues-and-Analysis/Issuesand-Analysis/Can-Feminine-Leadership-Mend-the-Economic-Crisis-inIceland.

8 Korten, 25.

11 Ibid., 232.

12 “Leadership.” Learning Partnership. http://www.learningpartnership.org/ en/resources/facts/leadership.

9 Momaya.

expected to conform. Consider Hilary. A former member of the Ugandan parliament explains, “The numbers matter. Because, if you are two in [government], you won’t change anything. Two against two hundred, what are you? Nothing.

You just get sucked in. Before you know it, after five years you are a man in a woman’s skin. So, we need the numbers.”7 Why do we need a critical mass of women leaders? David Korten equates the model of “heroic masculinity” embedded in traditional leadership with five thousand years of a society predicated on domination, or what he calls Empire.8 Domination-based leadership is focused on acquisition, expansion, and aggression, all features underlying major social ills endemic in unfettered monopoly capitalism, environmental degradation, the exploitation of women and children, and international military conflict.

When financial crisis battered their economy in October 2008, citizens of Iceland, a country known for its successful systematic support of gender equity, directed the blame to the irresponsible, reckless gambling of the “male elite.”

Women filled gaps left by men stepping out of positions in government and finance, leading to the emergence of financial institutions based on feminine values, described by one professional as “characterized by balance, transparency, fairness, social responsibility, accountability and sustainability.”9 All of these qualities are essential to social cohesion, which women have been fostering for millennia. Though devalued under the dominant model as techniques for leadership, or disparaged as hindrances to the pristine linearity of logic and efficiency, women’s emotional

Connie Wong (2009) Harvest Berkeley Retreat God is present and working constantly everywhere, all the time, whether we are talking, eating, praying, resting, just hanging out, or singing praises. He is there when we are with our community and when we are by ourselves, always filling us with the Holy Spirit and growing us to be more like Him.

10 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

and intuitional resources are powerful tools for maintaining bonds between people. Riane Eisler, a social historian, contends that “one of the best kept historical secrets is that practically all the material and social technologies fundamental to civilization were developed before the imposition of a dominator society.”10 Domination-based leadership, in other words, is not necessary for innovation.

The systematic cultivation of social cohesion is achieved by women-saturated institutions.

Non-profits, social work systems, and domestic helping services offer careers that, though not favored with prestige, are more necessary than ever. Progressive social movements are overwhelmingly led by women.11 Why do women occupy a greater proportion of the seats in the lower house of congress in developing countries like Mozambique, Vietnam, and Namibia than in developed countries like France, the U.S., and Japan?12 Developing countries tend to value community more than individualistic developed countries. Why are micro-credit loans directed toward women? Because women invest in their children, families, and communities and hold each other accountable in ways that men do not.

Fostering healthy community based on principles of justice rather than domination would be an innocuous proposition to most Christians.

But allowing women to utilize their strengths in this arena as leaders in the church is more controversial. After all, the Bible says: A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she

must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women [a] will be saved [b] through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (1 Tim. 2:11-15, niv) In Finally Feminist, John G. Stackhouse warns Christians to interpret this passage with care.

“God’s overriding purpose in working with his creation,” he writes, “is to make the truth of the gospel in Christ clear. To accomplish this, God works within human culture, rather than wiping it out and starting fresh.”13 Why does Paul instruct the church to pay its taxes to unjust emperors, respect secular authority, and remain content, even as slaves? Because disobedience would discredit the gospel in the larger culture.

Paul seems to contradict himself, as Stackhouse elucidates: “He believes that women should keep silent in church and that they should pray and prophesy. How can they do both? By being silent at the right times, and by praying and prophesying at the right times,”14 depending on which behavior would most benefit the spread of the truth of Jesus Christ.

Slavery was long defended in the U.S. using Biblical exegesis, and the endorsement of patriarchy enjoys the same support today. Stackhouse argues that by treating patriarchy as a commandment, instead of a “temporary and sinful cultural phenomenon,” the church prevents men and women from acting “according to their gift and call,” and actually impedes the revelation of the gospel.15 God made women and men, and he gave

unique strengths to each. He called both sexes to bring forth his Kingdom on earth by promoting the revelation of his truth. Since the inception of the church, women have used their strength as a bastion of social cohesion: from “Priscilla, Lydia, Phoebe, Andronicus, and Junia,” all of whom Paul praises in his letters, to the Sunday school teachers and ministry leaders that run your home church behind the scenes (whether or not they receive titles or compensation for it), women have been leading the church.

As Christians, we must not undervalue women’s gifts or shy away from the power of the feminine. Was Jesus a transactional leader: individualistic, aggressive, dominating, taskoriented? Or was he more relational? Was his strength in his resistance to attack, or submission to God’s will?

David Korten’s cry to secular authorities rings true for the church as well when he says: “The capacity to anticipate and choose our future is a defining characteristic of the human species. The recent global spread of communications technologies has combined with a confrontation with planetary limits to present us with a unique opportunity and necessity to use this capacity with conscious collective intent.”16 As the church, we are invited to allow the Spirit to work in us to promote God’s Kingdom on earth. Our mission is to redeem the world as instruments of God’s salvation. Women have always been leaders in the church. Now is the time to unleash the full potential of women, as part of God’s creation, to deliver on their distinct strengths, including a style of transformational leadership, to foster community, justice, and the truth of the gospel in the church and in the world. •

13 S. Bauer. 2007. “On Slippery Slopes, the Blogosphere, and (oh, yes) Women.” Books & Culture. http://www. christianitytoday.com/bc/2007/janfeb/8.28.html?start=5.

14 Ibid.

16 Korten, 25.

15 Ibid.

whitney moret graduated Berkeley in 2009 with a major in sociology. She is currently working with the nonprofit organization, Shakti Rising, promoting women's empowerment and social change through education, community outreach, and leadership development.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 11

church

Discuss Pornography Explicitly A call to action for fellowship leaders

by Stephanie Chiao

I

n december 2000, the national coalition to Protect Children and Families surveyed five Christian campuses and found that 48 percent of males were struggling with pornography use.

In a 2006 poll, Market Wire showed that 50 percent of Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women were addicted to pornography. These statistics show that not only are Christians living the same way as non-believers, but women are much more deeply entrenched in sexual sin than stereotypes suggest. For the sake of bringing healing to the men and women struggling with pornography, Christian fellowships should break the silence and secrecy surrounding the issue.

Currently, due to the lack of open dialogue, many people suffer the consequences of sexual sin alone and in secret. Some feel hopelessly enslaved by urges they cannot control. Most deal with feelings of shame, guilt, and self-hatred. Some even feel anxiety, not knowing when they will sin next, while others experience deep fear that one of these days, God won’t forgive them. As they all keep a part of their lives hidden, they distance themselves from others and from God, creating formidable barriers to personal prayer, fellowship, and healing.

An open conversation about pornography could help individuals struggling with it in many ways. First, it could provide the opportunity to encourage people to keep turning to God for healing. Enslavement to pornography addiction often cannot be overcome by willpower alone. Whether the reason for the addiction is a deeper unmet psychological need or an injury to the sexual instinct, God can bring healing. There is hope and healing to be had, for after all, God did not create people so that they would spend all their time and energy battling their sexual urges.

Second, a discussion of pornography can challenge individuals to confess and receive the healing that comes from confession.

Confession, in addition to being an important spiritual discipline,

Stephanie Chiao is a Molecular and Cell Biology major and a member of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship.

12 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

can be a powerfully healing act. In 1 John 1, it is written, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1:9, niv). In Mark 1, John Mark writes that repentance of sin prepares the way for the Lord and for a baptism of the forgiveness of sins. In other words, confession and repentance leads to cleansing, forgiveness, healing, freedom, and ultimately greater intimacy with God. Confession is an act of dragging sin into the light, so that it can be dealt with by Christ who is in the light. We are called to “have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them,” (Eph. 5:11, NIV) so that we can receive the fruits of the light, which are “goodness, righteousness and truth” (Eph. 5:9, NIV).

Third, by openly discussing sexual sin, fellowships can create a space where people feel comfortable confessing. People living with addiction may be thinking that few would understand the sin and are probably afraid that others will judge them with disgust. Discussing sexual sin provides an opportunity to show that many are struggling with the same sins and emphasize the fact that sexual sin is not worse than other sins. It is also an opportunity to remind the entire fellowship that we are all sinful and that we are called to be merciful to each other, participating in the restoration of lives broken by sin. Through discussion, fellowships can foster a community prepared to engage with the sexually broken and help build a sense that individuals can trust others with their sin.

Lastly, fellowships should address this issue because it impacts the entire community by affecting the person’s relationships. If the person is feeling shame, guilt, self-hatred, isolation from the community, and separation from God, it will affect the person’s ability as a witness, leader, teacher, or friend. Brokenness in one person’s life hurts the entire community, for “in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others” (Rom. 12:5, NIV).

The subject of pornography can be very uncomfortable. But Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” (Mark 2:17, NIV). It is precisely these struggles that fellowships are called to confront. In fact, the church may be one of the few places that truly can bring healing to our sexual brokenness. •

A testimony about pornography For some of us, it starts easily enough. We struggle with sexual temptation or porn as a reccurring

stumbling block, like an unclean spirit, that we never seem to exorcise. For others I know, it goes far deeper: there is a history, an event, and hard stories to share. And of course the shame. . .

For myself, the battle has gone on for a while and, to be honest, it is not over. Porn, even the so-

called "soft" is more potent than people give it credit for. Each night can potentially be a battle. For

me, it is the post-high moments when a good time is followed by downtime, boredom, and a little bit

of laziness that things become dangerous. It doesn't take much: something on TV, an image on a benign

webpage. It's just so easy. My laptop is almost like an adversary. A few links later, I'm where I'd really rather not be. But that too is the frustrating thing about it. If I'd rather not be there, then, dam-

mit, why am I there? How many times have I read Paul in Romans 7 struggling between his flesh and spirit and thinking "Yes! Yes!" There are times when I thought I was losing my mind, splitting into

two people, or wrestling between hating myself for a lack of faithfulness and just being apathetic, not

wanting to feel that self-imposed guilt so strongly.

I trick myself at times. "Well, I'll just go here, that will be enough to take the edge off." Or, "Well,

it's not that big of a deal, it's not like it hurts anyone." Or, "Well, it's sort of God's fault isn't it for

making me a guy like this." The world doesn't give much help. The secular world seems to both en-

courage with one hand and poke fun with the other. A world full of images, both stuck in our brains,

and then leading girls to try to emulate them. People joke that guys think about sex every 7 seconds or

whatever some painfully unscientific study showed. Maybe that's because we are being shown potentially provocative images every other second! I had a girlfriend once who I confessed to about my

struggle with porn and related masturbation who responded "You shouldn't beat yourself up about it (good advice), I mean you are a guy, that's just what you guys do, right? (not as useful)" And the

church can be really hit or miss (usually miss) about this. It makes you think you are the only one.

And merely reminding someone of the standard we are called to just pushes it deeper in, further down.

In fact the hardest part of it all is prayer. It is hard to pray to God when you have been seeing images which, almost mockingly, stay with you. There is the feeling of being dirty, or wrong, or ashamed. So

far from God. Why would he listen to me? Why ask for forgiveness, again? After a while, doesn't He just get tired of it? I would.

But I won't end that way and for good reason. There are people who I share with, sometimes just

one-on-one, sometimes a few of us. Without some Christian brothers (and the occasional sister) to share with, to pray with, to put it out there, where would I be? I'm better off now than before. I

know myself and how to avoid a lot of pitfalls. I've learned that even what we do in private does affect

our mindset in public. Yes, even if our world wants us to play its game, it doesn't have to be this way.

A lot of us guys know where that road leads, and it doesn't feel like life. It promises something in the moment that it never does or ever could deliver. I've learned things about God and my own fragile will.

I've learned to be happy for every little good choice, to not click, to turn off, and just trust God that it is better that way. And in the end, I'm learning what a God who unconditionally loves means, a Lord

who, even when I'm ashamed, on the floor, fresh from my mistake, and shaking my head, stands over me and says to the growling, mocking darkness, "This one is mine. You cannot have him."

And so it is.

— a Guy in InterVarsity Christian Fellowship

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God  13

church

Finding My Passion for God writer

Eric Tsang

Searching for knowledge of God is not enough; I have to offer my entire life to Him.

•

Eric Tsang is a freshman, undeclared, who loves his hometown, Millbrae.

14 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

Y

ou’re not a bad kid, Eric,” my pastor began, “but we don’t see that insignia of passion in you. We don’t think you’re a reborn Christian.” Wham! His words struck like the blow of a hammer against my chest: I felt a lurch in my stomach as my throat ran dry of air and speech; my brain dumbfounded, my heart sank two stories. I could not believe what I was hearing. “Me, not a passionate rebornChristian?!” was all that was running through my head. I read the Bible daily, prayed almost nightly, and took my spirituality seriously by looking for God throughout everyday life; how could I not be “passionate”?

Yet, looking back, how could I have been a reborn Christian? Surely, a reborn Christian would be humble, not arrogant enough to justify himself. After understanding this, I made it my objective this freshman year to reflect on the past, to find out where I erred, and to develop my missing passion for God. I began searching for God two years ago, when I first became Christian. Almost every night, I repeated the same prayer: “Lord, I do not even know if my prayer is sincere, but please give me faith and let me trust in You.” Though I had gone to a private Christian school, I never truly believed. I found prayer to be new territory—a legendary depth of undiscovered ocean:deep, dark, mysterious, and withholding a treasure spoken of as the “highest good.” It drew my soul spiraling into its core. As I became more serious in my search, I set my heart on delving into books that seemed like they might be able to demystify the nature of God. For example, I trudged my way through The Idiot, hoping to emulate Prince Myshkin’s gentleness, genuine nature, and patience, all virtues of the ideal Christian. And ever since I read through The Pilgrim’s Progress, I have tried to think of every mountain of hard-

ships as a stepping stone, each leading up to the kingdom of Heaven. And of course, for counsel, I turned to the Bible. Yet, even all this was apparently not enough to bring about that change, that which would make me a reborn Christian.

“What is it, then, that I have neglected?” I asked myself over and over. “What passion am I lacking?” I longed to understand God, which I felt was already quite a testament to my passion for God. My trains of thoughts ran off tracks, into dead ends, and sometimes collided in commotion. My head became a churning cauldron of questions unanswered, emotions unmitigated, and paths uncertain.

Yet, God seemed to answer all my questions with one fundamental question I had never stopped to consider: “Am I truly willing to give my life, my entire life, to God?” Perhaps I have been stuck all this time, busily entertaining the question, “Who is God?” when He had, since the beginning, stretched out His hands before me—and all I’ve had to do, was to stretch out mine, grab on, and ask, “Lord, what can I do for You?” Furthermore, my goal now must be to love Him in return for His mercies, to show my passion for His perfection by devoting every second of my life to thinking of Him, and to devote every single action to His name. Perhaps, it is in this way that I must transform my passion of desire into a passion of thanksgiving and praise.

I know I will attain my goal if I truly wish to because He promised us, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” (Matt. 7:7, KJV).

With this in mind, I pray that the journey may pick up pace, and that God will notice a wandering lamb, heading sometimes this way, sometimes that way, but always longing to return to his Shepherd, and feed on green pastures. •

Holding Nonprofit ceos Accountable for Greedy Salaries

T

he Chronicle of Philanthropy recently released its annual survey of executive compensation at nonprofits: last year, while unemployment was rising, giving was down, and many nonprofits were forced to conduct layoffs, salaries of nonprofit ceos rose by 7 percent. Although nonprofit boards set compensation levels prospectively, it is nonetheless troubling that many of these executives chose to sacrifice staff and program goals while not voluntarily taking pay cuts themselves. Of course, executive pay cuts alone would not solve the funding crises at these organizations, but with ceo salaries at many nonprofits approaching half a million dollars, top managers do have it within their power to save a number of jobs and not-insubstantial portions of their program goals.

It is especially shameful that the behavior and compensation levels of executives at Christian nonprofits are indistinguishable from their secular counterparts. Nonprofit boards frequently justify swollen pay packages by contending that they need to attract the best talent to lead their organizations. This arguable proposition has less force when executives claim to be “called” by God. Worse, a careful perusal of Christ’s teachings makes these leaders seem downright hypocritical. Jesus told his disciples, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head” (Luke 9:58) and “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it” (Matt. 16:24-25). And Paul worked as a tentmaker, laboring to support himself instead of living off of the generosity of others: “We were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow” (2 Thess. 3:7-9).

In early October, Franklin Graham became the latest wellknown evangelical to be accused of such hypocrisy. Graham, son of evangelist Billy Graham, is ceo of both the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (bgea) and the relief organization Samaritan’s Purse. Last year, he received total compensation of $1.2 million from these positions. Yet the bgea laid off 10% of its staff earlier this year due to the economic crisis. After coming under fire from the Charlotte Observer, Graham asked the boards of both organizations to suspend contributions to his retirement account.

reflection church

writer

John Montague

Then, several days later, he requested that the bgea eliminate his salary. However, he will continue to receive $535,000 per year from Samaritan’s Purse.

The problems with Graham’s behavior are manifold and they raise legitimate questions not just about the motivation for his “calling” but also about the foundations of his ministry. The Bible makes it clear that it is impossible to love God and neighbor without having this faith manifest itself in action (1 John 3:17). Why did Graham only consider taking a pay cut when his distended compensation came under public attack and not when the bgea conducted layoffs? Why would Graham put 55 of his employees out of work while drawing a salary of $669,000? How can Graham urge others to sacrifice from their meager wages to support his charitable work while living such a lavish lifestyle?

Several years ago, Graham bragged about his generosity to reporters, telling them he gave $40,000 per year. These boasts ring hollow in the court of the Jesus whom Graham claims to follow, and they sound outright discordant when compared to the sacrifices Graham asks others to make for the support of his charities.

Has Graham not read what Jesus said about the poor widow’s gift?

(Mark 12:41-44).

Unfortunately, Graham is not alone in his hypocrisy. The Charlotte Observer and secular nonprofit watchdogs should be commended for holding Graham accountable for his behavior.

Christians should take this example to heart and not blindly give to organizations without examining where their money is being spent. Many resources for investigating nonprofits are available on the Internet. For example, Charity Navigator rates the efficiency of large nonprofits, and GuideStar offers access to tax returns for thousands of nonprofits.

Before blithely writing a check to a charity, Christians should make sure that the organization is stewarding its own resources wisely and that it is not, for instance, spending more than a million dollars per year on lawn care, as the bgea has done. Even if the organization is using its resources poorly, Christians should not underestimate their own power to influence its management through private and public pressure. Write a letter to the organization, post information on a blog, join a public campaign, but do not just idly give. Giving wisely is part of the generosity and stewardship to which we Christians are called. • [This article originally appeared on our blog.]

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 15

Reflection

•

Her Gift of love

If “the man who loves God is known by God” (1 Cor. 8:3, niv) but many who do good and miraculous things in the name of Jesus will hear the dreadful words "I never knew you" (Matt. 7:23, niv), then we must not fool ourselves into believing that we can accomplish “loving God" merely by busying ourselves with "God's work." Mary’s anointing of Jesus, repeated in three of the four Gospels, has much to show regarding our love and service to Jesus.

writer

Christine Kuang

M

atthew 26:6-13 depicts the story of Mary, who takes a pint of very costly pure nard and pours it out on Jesus’ feet. There are two things to note: first, she pours it out onto Jesus herself. She did not ask someone else to do it; she did it herself, showing her love to Him directly. Second, this pint of pure nard is probably Mary’s most prized and expensive possession, and yet she pours it all out onto Jesus and Jesus alone.

But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, “Why this waste? For this perfume might have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.”

(Matt. 26:8–9, nasb) And they rebuked her harshly.

(Mark 14:5, niv)

The disciples thought the perfume could have been better spent by selling it and giving the money to impact many. If God called you to minister to just one person in your entire life, would you see your life as a waste? A waste of your abilities, intellect, and gifts? Because “why not take that same amount of time and instead of impacting only one person, impact 100 people? Why not produce more ‘fruit’ if you can?”

Would we rather sell our lives to the work of God so as to impact many, or take it and offer it 16 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

as a living sacrifice for God to use as He wishes?

The results to both choices may be the same – furthering the work of God – but the process and motivations are very different, and God cares about our motivations. (1 Cor. 4:5, niv) If we’re not careful, we’ll start having the mentality that the more people we impact, the better. The more things we do, the better. The greater the impact we have, the better. Certainly, we want to steward our resources well, but there is a difference between doing what we ourselves believe will further the kingdom of God the most and what God actually calls us to do.

When we get caught up in this mentality, we start subtly believing that time spent with just God is a waste. We won’t ever say that it is a waste, but our actions speak louder than our words, particularly when our time with God is, so often, disproportionate to the time spent on things not of God. If we held intimate, quiet times with God as truly a first priority, what would it look like? I believe it would look like the way the beloved takes whatever free time she can to spend with the one she loves, telling him about her day while listening to him talk about his. It would look like the toddler who cannot bear losing sight of his mother; no matter what he is doing, he needs the assurance that his mother is close by. He never stops running over every few minutes to see what she is doing and show her the little trinket that has been intriguing him.

When we truly are lovers and children of God, we will not only want to spend alone time with God; we will need it. And it’s never onesided: neither the lover nor the child is satisfied with just telling about themselves; they desire to hear from the other. Can gifts and nice gestures substitute for time spent together, even if it’s just delighting in the other person’s presence

Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” (Matt. 26: 10-13, NASB) Mary’s story demonstrates that time spent on just God is never wasted. All that Mary did and all that she poured out was on Jesus himself.

One person. And Jesus not only speaks up for her, but praises her for it. Not because she gave to the poor, not because she preached a good sermon or brought hundreds to Christ. But simply because she came to Jesus herself, and poured out her treasures, her best, her life on Jesus. She gave her all to Him. Nothing spent on just Jesus is wasted.

And that’s what I’ve been learning. That to “Love the Lord [my] God with all [my] heart and with all [my] soul and with all [my] mind”

(Matt. 22:37, NIV), I must give Him my all. Even if I could be taking all that time to impact more people, when God calls me to Himself, it is not a waste. Just like when God led Paul into the Arabian desert for three years after his conversion, it was not a waste. It was during that time in the Arabian desert that God revealed to Paul the explanation of the Gospels as he has set forth for us in his epistles.

In My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers states, “If I am devoted solely to the cause of humanity, I will soon be exhausted and come to the point where my love will waver and stumble. But if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity, even though people may treat me like a ‘doormat.’” Only once we have truly learned to love God with our all and apart from His work, can we truly serve Him out of that love. We can always serve without love for God, but we cannot love without serving Him, because that’s part of love, delighting in pleasing the loved one through serving.

I’m learning to give the gift of love just as Mary did, to give my all and not to mind those who may be indignant with me. To love Him and Him alone, and have Him speak for me as He looks into this wretched sinful heart of mine and yet sees that one desire to learn to love Him and Him alone. For the Lord looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7, NIV), my heart and your heart.

I pray that today before we devote to the causes of Jesus – justice for the poor, rights for the weak, etc. – we’d be devoted in love to Jesus alone. That we would love God not because His kingdom seems to align with our social justice goals or humanitarian ambitions and so can serve as a big banner under which we may justify our work, but simply because He loved us first and gave His one and only begotten Son to die for us so that if we believe, we may have salvation and be counted righteous through our faith. May we learn to pour out our lives and our all as a gift of love to God first, to know Him and be known by Him, so that our service may truly be out of love for Him alone and that when we come before Him on that day, we’ll hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matt. 25:23, NIV). •

•

in quietness and stillness? We often overlook spending time with God in quietness, waiting on Him, and delighting in His presence while He takes delight in us. Love is the common bond between the lovers’ relationship and the parent-child relationship, and it is this kind of love that should be at the very heart of our relationship and service to God. It’s easy to substitute actual love with service, and God’s been challenging me a lot with what He really desires from me in terms of loving Him. Can I love God apart from His work?

Can I stop everything, sit at His feet, and just seek Him alone in His temple? (Psalm 27:4, NIV) Or have I started to love His work more than He Himself? Through His answers to much prayer, God revealed to me that this year will be spent on just Him in prayer, waiting, and meditation on scripture, rather than serving in a position with a title. Just Him. It was not until then that I realized how deeply I had been setting my identity as a Lover of Christ and Child of God on the things I did for God rather than on how much time I spent being a Lover of Christ and Child of God.

Christine kuang is a fourth-year, Applied Mathematics major from Chino Hills.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 17

Reflection

Given Four Letters…

A

writer

Rachel Yeung

fj s i

p e nt

infp

en fp

estj

Rachel YEung is a fourthyear student at Berkeley who finds her home in Thousand Oaks, California.

18 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

Confessions of an intp

fter

deliberating much longer than the advised five-second response for each question, I finally clicked through all 70 questions and pressed “See Your Results!” What did the four letters reveal about my inner self that I had not thought of already? Out of the sixteen personality types I could “own,” I was only an “infp.” Caught by the title of “The Idealist,” I scrolled down to find that my goal in life was to make the world better for others, that I was “considerate” and “thoughtful,” and possessed unusually high moral and ethical standards. I was no longer “Rachel Yeung,” the shy, homeschooled, Chinese-American, studious girl, but a peaceful and caring citizen of the world, a hipster who truly belonged to the Berkeley campus.

Insert reality check. After years of flirting with the categorizations that Myers-Briggs offered, I’ve come to ask myself exactly why personality tests have become so popular. I find quizzes extremely entertaining, but I never stopped to ask myself why I was so drawn to being “personalized.” What do these claims to my personality claim on my identity? More importantly, is my identity as a Christian compromised by my fixation on the details of my Myers-Briggs identity? Could it really be that my obsession with all-things-infp originated from the desire to be someone—for a unique identity that could explain not only who I was, but also who I aspired to be? Was it this desire for “personalization” that drew me to take tests even when I’d already half-memorized my Myers-Briggs assessment, complete with recommendations for marriage-partner types and suggested occupations?

It took the shocking realization that I didn’t live up to the label of the infp for me to experience a “personality crisis.” I began to contemplate whether I truly deserved the “F.” Reluctantly, I remembered how difficult it was for me to listen with sympathy whenever my

roommate opened up to me about her problems; I tried hard to suppress my instinct to analyze her situation and offer an all-encompassing answer. In daily life, my thirst for knowledge overran any inclination I had to “developing relationships.” I was an INTP, not an INFP. I could no longer look to the infp portrait to see how I was to respond to the world. Previously, I attempted to do this by showing more love for others, but I quickly discovered that this spirit of compassion did not last long. It never occurred to me that these failed attempts were a manifestation of my sin. The more I obsessed about my personality, the more it seemed that even Myers-Briggs could not efface the truth of Romans 7. I am enslaved to sin, and “I do not understand what I do; what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate, I do” (Rom. 7:15 niv).

God used my complex relationship with Myers-Briggs to challenge my notion that human identity rests in one’s personality. As I learned more about God’s heart for His people and how Christians found their true identity in loving God and others, I was conflicted. My infp identity already promised that I had the “heart of God” within me. After all, I shared the same personality type as Princess Diana and Mary, mother of Jesus! Yet, I knew that this goodwill and compassion did not exist within me.

God has once again answered the frazzled complexities of my life with beautiful simplicity. First and foremost, the Christian is called to be a follower of Christ. I have the calling to respond to God first, rather than to some pre-determined identity measured by esoteric psychometric measures. Previously, my MyersBriggs type compelled me to live with an obsessive enthusiasm to “know” who I was. Lately my prayer has been for God to know me, not as the intp, but as His daughter: shallow, self-absorbed, and sinful, but created in His image. •

Emily Stone Untitled Ink

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God  19

~ Poiesis

Creative production, esp. of a work of art; an instance of this.

Vivian Deng

On The Cross Just one peek at Vogue, Cover Girl, And I resolve to diet, in an instant; Hit the treadmills, the jogging trails, The diet shelves, at the drug store.

Just one glint of the trophy, The taunting, beckoning gold; And my eyes glow red, To prove to the world, my worth.

And yet…

More than once, have I read, The Bible, holy love letters from God… But my heart is locked, and her gate is chained; Covered, overgrown with weeds and vine.

I am left blind, to the Lover’s face; Deaf to His gentle whisper; That all my worth, and so much more, Was pinned, with my Lord…

On the Cross.

20 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009 Photograph by Grace Ho

Lauren Gully

•

On Being Contained

•

I hope that you never describe me on paper because when your pen carves the pad it makes a forever noise

•

Daniel kim

What's Cooking?

Angel Food Cake

Step 1

•

Step 2

•

Step 3

•

Step 4

•

Step 5

•

Step 6

•

Step 7

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Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Simple enough. I’m baking.

Sift sugar and add to flour with a pinch of salt.

Salt?

Crack eggs and collect egg whites. Whisk together with water and cream of tartar.

Isn’t tartar for fish?

Beat with a hand mixer the egg white mixture and add more sugar. Slowly add the flour mixture while folding everything into consistency.

I don’t get how this is Angel food cake.

It’s more like cookie dough.

Pour mixture into tube pan and place in oven.

That’s it? But why the tube pan?

After a little over half an hour, allow the tube pan to cool.

I guess I should at least taste it.

Slice cake and share. Serves many.

For he saw what he had made was good. It was very good.

Sometimes things don’t make sense in the short runs or small steps. Thank God there’s someone out there who knows what He’s doing.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 21

Grace Kim

• Dearest,

2004–2009

It seems strange that after our first date I came home and wrote a poem

about someone else.

That was the night that we went to the opera and I didn’t know what to wear

so I wore my black dress and brought two different pairs of shoes.

I think you thought it was funny and maybe it made you like me a little more.

It’s funny I came home that night and wrote a poem about someone else.

And funnier now that I’m writing about you By the way, I’m sorry I threw up in your car.

Do you remember what you said when we were in Paris?

We were both on your bed and we were really tired. I was about to fall asleep

and you put your head on my pillow and kissed me for the first time.

You said that you wrote me a song and then you played it.

I knew that you were going to kiss me then because of how you looked. Like for just a

moment you were only thinking about me.

I think that you want me to be honest so I’m just going to come out and say it.

You write shitty poetry.

And your idea to run away together to Yosemite was stupid.

But I did love it when you carried me from the house to the car because I was an idiot and

pretended that I couldn’t move.

I think that you liked knowing you were strong even though you always wanted to hold

me when you cried.

I think that you deliver pizzas now.

22 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

Backtalk Today I look like my mother out the window. shutter tempered glass vitreous secrets clutter the shot I took in anger all our backwash cholered words you never listened – Listen, a greener language died pressed black between the letters I inked you: In the beginning I meant no disrespect when I looked away from your nakedness

William Blake

postea viriditas descendit.

Love, it came as no surprise when at the last you tell me

that the Light-Bringer is frozen at the bottom of Hell.

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God  23

EXECUTIVE ORDER, authorized by God: RELOCATE Selected child, leave your home and bring only what you can carry.

Second class woman, interned in yourself redefine your allegiance.

27. Are you willing to serve in the armed forces of the Lord on combat duty wherever ordered?

28. Will you swear unqualified allegiance to your Savior and faithfully, in prayer, protect your heart from any or all attack by sin, and forswear any form of allegiance or obedience to Satan or the world?

No-No. “Citizen”: How you’ve failed the loyalty oath.

Denied self, disenfranchised by sin, homogenized, you swim in the mainstream of your insidious generation.

How long will you pour your devotion into a body and world that hates you?

How long will you bear oppression as a self-proclaimed mistress of equality?

Oh, patriot of self-loathing, your constitution has failed you.

Shikata ga nai - it can’t be helped.

Yes, you are every bit assimil-ized, 110% the model woman myth.

Surely, you must relocate away in a horse manger, where there is no crib for more lies, towers surrounding, barrels pointed IN – just so you can see that the wired freedom before you is but a sad illusion, a God-forsaken, barren promise of Home.

It is here, in uncertainty and doubt, that you must finally learn.

It is here, among ruins, that you must build and rebuild upon Birth.

And when released, itsuka, for resettlement into LIFE, You will understand.

Uprooted, you will find me.

Freed in dependence, second class woman, such is independence, first class daughter.

X Besorah Won 24 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

•

•

•

Scott Schuleit

•

Dust

Moment

The leaf obeys its Creator, wavering its green in the tireless, unfailing wind.

And the sky continually bears on its immense back, a burden of blue.

And when a storm comes on the clouds darken, weaving together without question, and from this, lightning looses its silver, its flicker and flash, always obeying with sudden bursts of illumination.

The rain falls willingly, dropping down to pummel dry earth, mixing it into mud as it should, a task performed without hesitation, yet the dust, that which is most blessed, crowned over all creation, burns, burns with a rage deep in its breast.

A drop of dew, a sphere of early morning crystal, a touch of liquid diamond magnifying the veined texture of the leaf it rested upon.

Its surface glistened with flawless reflections of leaves, shadows, purple-amber skies and trees until the drop swelled with moisture and rolled off, dropping down into space, turning over in the air, mirroring a rush of images bending over its skin… a rise of wildflower, tumble of leaf, streak of scarlet bird, cleanse of light and a patch of moss rising luminous against a vast abyss of darkness

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 25

Kevin Christopher

Sketches from the muni Bus or Desk

I. Our lives are short but longer than old…

I step outside and trace a z in the concrete And wonder if the scribe longed for freedom At night as a boy I would lift the window To sleep To feel the frost of an unknown life awake Yet now I huddle in covers next to metallic flames The earth cries out its lost its tender

II. God the king and god the father but which god the god I comprehend/ for I am a bastard/ subject to theocratic democracy and devolved youth/ Suspect to a father of imaginary identity/ Suspecting a king unseen/ Nonsensical word scrambles gleaned from choreographed sermons and counsel/ cortisone steroid shot my mind/ Till I became numb and numbered/ A bar coded Christian/ Barred from relational revelation an upturned scanned ass sacked aside the egg whites/ In the yokeless egg express isle/ In a moment of truthful youthfulness I questioned the gap girl creator shopping designer jeans and store credit/ The stylized pursuits of righteousness/ But now again I question the cardboard cutout coaster god/ The sweaty beer guarding god of utility given lip service on game day/ father, almighty, king, coaster, gap girl/ differences indeterminate to the indifferent masses/ Can I inherit a god of titles/ Typecast by dead aristocrats having kings and fathers/ Can I deny variation in vain/ Semantics are troublesome but it's not the words that stall/ It’s the antics of self-enlightened empty mindedness/ Or, chauvinism/ See when I see an unwed mother/ Oncesexed sister of frailty with spittle trails on her breast/ I don’t see an i-pod clad god with rose covered glasses/ lost in his worship mix/ I see grace/ I see something as real as gray ash off a spent smoke/ The remains after something we’ve made burns away/ But can I call God the ash to my bummed smoke/ Can I call Him a fresh bag of Pamper’s for a teenage mom/ Or would it all be so damned disrespectful/ Would I be irresponsible/ But maybe I’ll take that chance/ To see God in my world and not as some celestial patriarch with a transcendental pony express/ Sending blessings to little American white kids/ That have fathers and storybook kings/ In dreams I see a God who numbers the hairs on my head and wishes me to number his manifestations/ But that might require looking down from the big shiny nameplate in the sky/ Beneath the dome of First Gigachurch 3000/ Beneath the heads held high of white-clad stormtroopers/ Beneath all planes of sight but for the least of these/ Where I’ll see Christ waiting patiently.

26 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

And the stars are left grayed maidens Forgotten What was Adam's apple that life Bursts No more but steady Spreads, like moss, Flowers but occasionally in dreams??

IV. The rise and fall of ambition. And the resurrection. It’s kind of how I look at it. Some people, maybe all people, at least me, at some point consider themselves to be the enlightened one, the golden child, the one to offer to the world some extraordinary measure of intelligence or art or beauty. Whatever, the best. We think ourselves into immortality. We separate ourselves from all the other humanants driving to and fro, shopping for kitsch shoelaces, drinking his or her or everybodys or secretbodies bottled water of choice.

I’ve recently come to the realization that I’m not ubermensch. That I will not be widely celebrated for something or another. That I don’t have the hand of fate bushwacking the way for me to some garden paradise where I’ll be crafting grassflutes with the likes of William Wilberforce and Satchel Paige.

It’s freeing. Freeing because it allows for me to have a greater ambition. One that looks to understand my limitations in God. Note: not my possibilities, but my limitations.

With every hair that I lose and muscle that I pull and check that I bounce and conversation that I bumble because I am becoming more and more socially awkward, with every passing moment in the lonely absence of perfection, I gain a greater understanding of my createdness.

III. The Obstacle

And it’s freeing, the key to which this lifestrand of greater and lesser notes will be strummed.

Tell me why you didn’t flinch At the spectacle Tell me why you stood there, Wall In the path of stones Tell me a lie, I’d believe it Tell me the rock dropped by your side In the rush of the excitement Tell me the rumors hid spilt blood But you can’t

VIII. a company response in old age, the diamond shine over blue veins, patchwork skin eyes articulate as untouched green creekmoss decidedly different and unspoiled ambassadors of a children’s adventure story dreamt the inverted life ago realized all the same, unbound she says i love you he says nothing, he smiles the company of heart and mind and a lifetime of physical contortions smile quiet, happy

Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 27

fiction

A Confession writer

Sean Jeong

F

Rembrandt

28 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

ather Alex was holding his monthly vigil in the sanctuary when he noticed a presence enter the room. Turning around, he saw that it was a middle-aged man in a black overcoat and gray scarf. The man slowly walked into the confessional booth, as if bidding Father Alex to come.

Father Alex felt unsettled as he took his place in the booth, as if some sort of danger was present. Before Father Alex could say anything, the man began his impatient chatter.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. My confession was ages ago. Did you know Father, that a drunk driver in New York City hit a little girl today? Just a couple of minutes ago. It hasn’t even hit the news yet. Instantly killed her, he did. And you know, the little girl’s father is a pastor. And oh so tragic, this will destroy his faith in his God.” The man continued before the shocked Father could say anything else.

“Oh and that’s not all. Did you know that a warlord in Congo held a public execution of eight children in front of their peers? Execution by firing squad, children all under thirteen years old, shot by child soldiers, just to ensure his iron grip on them.”

Father Alex finally managed to get a word out. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. What is this about?”

“Oh but this is confession, is it not? And this is just a mere glimpse of all that the world attributes as my doing, for just today! Oh my, but there’s one more that I must share with you!

Can you believe some fool in London signed a contract with me for the love of a woman that he cannot keep? Now, that is something that rarely happens nowadays. Imagine how delighted I was.

“Ah, it’s alright Father. I do not actually expect any words of forgiveness from you. I just wanted a listening ear. You were, after all, praying that God would show you something different today, were you not?

“So allow me to ramble on a little bit more, would you? I’ve attended several graduations recently, both college and high school. Funny, isn’t it? But I do like ordinary human things every once in a while. I like to hear what sentimental yet totally unmemorable things the salutatorians and the valedictorians say to their classmates. So this valedictorian kid, he goes up to the podium, and all he says is ‘I hope you all remember: the essence of man’s existence is not subsistence but purpose.’

“And I thought, listen to this kid! Then something that came to my attention a while ago briefly came back to me. This girl of 25, just after finishing law school, decided that she would rather be poor and work for the cause of sex slaves in Manila than make $200,000 a year working for a firm in L.A. And you know – that, to her, gave her purpose. She chose purpose over subsistence. And an excellent choice she made, wouldn’t you say, Father? What’s it to you if you gain the world but lose your soul, eh? But still, I was thinking. She’s so passionate about this cause, to fight against this EVIL of sex slavery. And such evil it is, indeed. And yet, I wonder if she knows that she needs that evil that she despises so strongly? For without that evil, she’d be left directionless and empty.”

“That’s just ridiculous,” began Father Alex.

fiction

“Ah, but is it?” resumed the man, cutting off Father Alex’s objection. “Imagine, Father. That if there were no sex trafficking, then there would not be any reason to fight for social justice in those countries. If there were no civil wars and corrupt governments starving out their own citizens and their children, and if people laid down their greed and selfishness so that their neighbors were taken care of then there would be no need for those that devote themselves to the cause of helping the poor either. Imagine Father… every cause that people devote their lives to, and thus glorify God with, is there because of the presence of some evil. What would the world be like if tomorrow morning all the evils were gone?”

“It would be paradise. Heaven on earth,” replied Father Alex.

“Yes! For a week! But then it would be boring! It would be one holy, tedious church service!

Can you imagine a world where being a lawyer or an engineer is just as noble as any other job?

Can man suddenly accept that just living for a subsistence is now an acceptable purpose? Certainly, not everyone can or should become pastors and priests, no? It is absolutely undeniable that the essence of man’s life is not subsistence but purpose. But only the presence of evil can give man purpose. Is it not true?

“And so it shall be that even if I cease to exist tomorrow, humanity shall rise up to take my place, for man cannot exist without evil. Thus it shall be that until Christ returns once more and establishes His rule on earth, man shall depend on evil to give him purpose. And though it may be that indeed when He returns that all the eyes of the sinful men will be opened and they shall lay down the conflict that is at the core of their souls and cry out ‘Thou art just, O Lord!’

Yet until then, Man may not escape from the necessity that is evil.”

With a sudden tone of sadness, the man continued in a slower pace.

“Perhaps it was ordained from the beginning that man must suffer for as long as he exists in this world until the time when His mystery and glory shall be revealed. Perhaps it was ordained from the beginning that he would reach out and take the forbidden apple in order that he may truly exist. Perhaps it was ordained from the start that I must forever exist as the grim yet undeniable testament to God and His light. Could that be true?”

At this point, the man suddenly paused, seemingly still, as if he had suddenly realized that he was rambling on. A full minute passed by with nothing said between the two of them – a silence that seemed to last an eternity.

“Forgive me Father, I must have overstayed my welcome.” With that, the man suddenly got up and opened the door of the booth. Hurriedly, Father Alex stepped outside the booth as well to try to catch up to the man, but he had already vanished.

Standing still, Father Alex was deep in thought, debating and processing in his mind the fantastical dream he had just experienced. Still unsure and unable to calm the turmoil that was budding in his heart, he nonetheless returned to the altar. Getting on his knees before the cross, he once again resumed his prayers. •

For more information, contact us at: unknowneditors@gmail.com

Be sure to check out our blog: http://unknowngodjournal.com

•

review

In Search of Nostalgia

reviewer

Elizabeth Segran

Blue Roses, Blue Roses Label: XL Recordings Released: July 21, 2009

Laura Groves, the woman behind Blue Roses, presents a beautiful, feminine contribution to the folk-influenced albums that have recently flooded the alternative music scene. In this brilliant debut, Groves sounds like she is from a different era. At times, accompanied by a simple guitar melody, she is reminiscent of a minstrel; at other moments, her clear, ringing voice sounds baroque and operatic.

Groves is not your average singer-songwriter. While this album is personal, it is not full of indulgent navel-gazing. Instead, Groves muses on the joys and angst of life poetically, incorporating emotions into a larger narrative of literary tropes, which include such figures as the cowardly liar and the wounded lover. In “Greatest Thoughts,” she presents her emotional defenses in medieval imagery: “This is the fortress that I’ve built, it’s cold and uninviting/ You stumbled on its stones last night/ Beneath the trailing ivy.” In the last song, “Untitled,” she describes the loneliness of lost love: “My best friend is a ghost that flies at me when I wake up alone.”

While her haunting voice and lush images penetrate the album, her songs are instrumentally diverse. Some songs are accompanied by a simple piano melody. Others, such as “Does Anybody Love Me Now?” are set to a harp, and “Rebecca” is carried by an alt-rock beat. The catchiest song on the album, “I am Leaving,” is a tapestry of guitar, harmonica, and twinkly synthesizer. The song itself is about leaving home to wander the world, a theme that is equally relevant to restless youth as it is to wandering troubadours. Groves’s delicate weaving of the private with the epic makes this album a triumph. •

Half-handed Cloud, Cut Me Down and Count My Rings Label: Asthmatic Kitty Released: November 3, 2009

30 To An Unknown God | Fall 2009

John Ringhofer, the singer and musician behind this one man-band, is known for his ability to produce super-short songs. Each of 46 songs on this compilation of previous releases carries a brief and neatly packaged message in the form of what can only be called a ditty. As a self-professed Christian, many of his songs incorporate themes from the Bible, but not in a moralistic, didactic way. Instead, he intersperses obscure Old Testament references with modern ideas in quirky ways. In “Winding,” he describes the parting of the Red Sea, observing, “sheep slept on the flatlands, working on their suntans.” While his little songs are witty and cute, there is an earnestness that comes through. The album presents a picture of someone passionately trying to figure God out.

Ringhofer manages to combine an impressive and idiosyncratic array of instruments – including a trombone, a particleboard guitar, a banjo, an air organ, and a Casio beat machine – to create music that is surprisingly simple. Despite the assortment of sounds and the mix of influences evident in the lyrics, everything comes together effortlessly. •

review

What Gives?

reviewer

Clara Bosak-Schroeder

T

he thesis of peter singer’s new book is simple and devastating: (1) We in the developed world have money to spend on luxuries like bottled water and $10 movies. (2) Thousands of people die every day for want of necessities. (3) Aid agencies do more good than harm. (4) It is our moral obligation to give money to aid agencies. Singer first justifies his argument on philosophical grounds, refutes possible objections, and provides thought experiments to help readers realize their own moral intuitions. He then explores typical psychological obstacles to giving, discusses and defends the means and effectiveness of aid agencies, and proposes a universal standard of giving. Through the course of the book Singer also profiles very wealthy people, both those who keep their wealth for themselves and others who have decided to give much of it away.

The Life You Can Save is a clear, cogent, well-written introduction to the the moral dilemma of extreme poverty, but it is not a thorough or satisfying treatment of the subject from a philosophical or even practical point of view. Although Singer discusses “obstacles to giving”at length – not being able to identify with distant suffering is one – these represent only the initial challenges people face when deciding to give; fear of future poverty and social pressures to spend, for example, are much more insidious and difficult obstacles to overcome. This means that Singer has very little to offer the already converted. If you have never thought seriously about extreme poverty or your own relative wealth, this book should shock and incite you. But if you already give to charity, Singer cannot help you overcome your unwillingness to give more.

Singer retreats from his moral high ground in the last part of the book to establish what he considers a realistic standard of giving. His argument here is strong: if our goal is to get people to give more, our standard has to be reasonable (read: low) to be realistic, and Singer’s proposal is remarkably reasonable: he expects people who make over $148,000 a year to give 5% of their first $148,000 and 10% of progressively greater amounts depending on their total income, those who make $105,001-148,000 to give away 5% of their income, and those who make less, 1%. Although he has developed his standard for universal use, Singer makes sure to point out that if everyone in the United States alone complied, the UN Millennium Development Goals could be met many times over. When everyone gives, giving a little can make a big difference.

But while Singer sees this lower public standard as a necessar-

The Life You Can Save Acting Now to End World Poverty

By Peter Singer

ily incomplete expression of the moral standard he argues for in the beginning of the book, his public position actually undermines his moral one. If the UN Millennium Development Goals can be met so easily, the reader asks, then what does the moral argument, which takes up the bulk of the book, really mean?

The Life You Can Save is a disappointment not because Peter Singer asks too much, but because he asks too little. He has tried in his book to address the first question of global poverty, how we can spend money on luxuries when children are dying for want of necessities, but this question represents only one dimension of our moral quandary as relatively wealthy people. Anyone who has considered poverty at length must go on to ask two follow-up questions: First, how can we spend money on luxuries, even after donating 1% or 5% percent of our income, when other relatively wealthy people have not, and extreme poverty persists? And second, after we have met the absolute minimum needs of our fellow human beings, why don’t we also share with them everything else we consider necessary for ourselves? • Fall 2009 | To An Unknown God 31

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