To An Unknown God: Volume 7 Issue 2

TABLE OF CONTENTS LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Micaela Walker

4 THEMED ARTICLES

Til Kingdom Come Dominick Wong

6

The Elusive Future Vikto Palenyy

8

Blessed Endurance Stephanie Yom

10

I'll Come Up with a Title Tomorrow Josh Joo

12

2  To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

Our Precious Blood Bought Pages Seong Min Yoo

16

Revelation's Call Caitlyn Lim

20

The Single Sin Sophia Chahal

22

UN THEMED ARTICLES

To the Goldfish in Me Jennifer Yim

23

Patience Bon Jin Koo

24

Lilies Under the Bridge Anonymous

26

POEMS

Book of Hours Wesleigh Anderson

30

Electricians Amanda Gee

32

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God  3

Letter from the Editor Dear Reader,

W

hen we chose the theme Future for this semester’s journal, we were wary. The “future” is a very broad and kind of slippery topic. Yet as we began to think about it, two important questions sprang to mind that we wanted to explore.

First, how can we more thoughtfully deal with the anxieties we have about the future? And secondly, how might having a Christian worldview and faith in Christ Jesus change the way we view the future? It seemed that those were questions worth exploring.

So we looked around at our campus and found students who are incredibly occupied with what comes next. Berkeley acts as a sort of incubator inside of which we are constantly preparing for something—our Telebears appointment, midterms, careers (“Are you pre-med? Pre-law? Pre-pharm?”). Inevitably we’re left with some (or a lot) of anxieties about our day-to-day needs.

And yet these day-to-day anxieties can consume us and keep us so occupied that we don’t consider what lies ahead of us in the more distant but just as real future. That distant future which will arrive once our careers, hopes, and dreams have been accomplished or let go of, a future that we can’t really plan for. (I do not know of any “Pre-death” clubs on campus.) But it’s this future—eternity, that the Bible most often addresses.

In chapter 6 of the Gospel of John, a large crowd has begun to follow Jesus after witnessing his healing of a paralyzed man.

Aware of their hunger, Jesus feeds all 5,000 men (as well as the unrecorded, but numerous, women and children who were also in attendance), providing for their immediate, physical needs with fish and bread. Yet Jesus makes clear that it wasn’t to perform miraculous healings or to feed their bodies that he came (though he was willing to care for them in these ways too). Rather he pleads with the crowd to consider eternity. “Do not work for the food that perishes,” he urges them, “but for the food that endures to eternal life.” The mention of food that might endure forever is, quite understandably, attractive to these first-century people for whom nourishment was a daily struggle. When they question him about where they might find this food that will last forever, Jesus makes the unexpected claim that he himself is that food, sent down from God to give eternal life to the world. The crowd is confused, their hunger and desire for the security that an endless supply of real bread would offer overcomes their interest in eternity and in Jesus. His claim to be the only thing that will truly satisfy them is less appealing and comes with more implications for their life than the free fish and bread he had earlier provided. At the end of the chapter it is recorded that, “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.”

I’d argue that Cal students, Christian and non-Christian, are not so different from those first-century Jews, so often ruled by our immediate needs and desires, persuaded by hunger pangs for whatever is right in front of us. We are not entirely to blame—we hunger after good things—romance, security, significance. But what if these good things keep us from hungering after the best thing?

If we are thoughtful people and don’t just dismiss the question of eternal life as some sort of silly existential issue for others to debate about, we must consider what lies ahead, beyond what’s close, because of the implications that the answers to these questions can have for our lives.

We hope this issue of TAUG can encourage both believers and non-believers alike to consider the future in both its immediate and more distant manifestations and that ultimately the pages of this journal could point you towards Him who makes sense of our past, dwells with us in our present and promises us a future together with Him. In Christ,

Micaela Walker P.S. – If you enjoy discussing this type of thing (and how faith in Christ can inform our thinking about important cultural, academic, political or social issues), consider joining our new DeCal course on Christian thought next semester. See pg. 35 for details.

4 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

Editor-in-Chief Micaela Walker

Poetry Editor Amanda Gee

Executive Editors Josh Joo Desiree Macchia

Associate Editors Sophia Chahal, Lauryn Chan, Daniel Choi, Laura Clark, James Fox, Hayato Furuichi, Grace Gao, Gina Han, Krystal Han, Philip Hong, Jackson Huynh, Irene Hwang, Esther Kim, Samuel Kim, Solomon Kim, Bon Jin Koo, Alexander Kuszytk, Caitlyn Lim, Serena Liu, Monica Montes, Viktor

Managing Editors Jonathan Lim Chloe Ng Publishers Jonathan Chen Evan Keum

Palenyy, Emily Palmer, Michelle Pang, Morgan Shishido, Olivia Wakamoto, Stephanie Yom, Lisa Ann Yu Editors Emeriti Natalie Cha, Wesleigh Anderson, Chris Han, Sarah Cho, Stephanie Chiao, Laura Ferris, Cliff Mak, John Montague, Whitney Moret

Advisory Board Steven Fish Department of Political Science Tsu Jae King Liu Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Sciences Jan de Vries Department of History Jeffrey Reimer Department of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering

To An Unknown God is not affiliated with any church or any religious group. Opinions expressed in articles do not necessarily represent those of the editors. We are completely student-run and funded partly by the student body as an ASUC-sponsored student publication. Funding is also provided through individual donations. Distribution is free while supplies last.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God  5

Dominick Wong, CONTRIBUTING WRITER

T

till

kingdom come On “The Future” as God sees it

6 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

he Future is a strange thing, an always- “almost” reality that persists outside the boundaries of our existence. We know nothing of this Future. We have never been there.

Instead, we find ourselves bound to the Present, asymptotically approaching “tomorrow” but never quite arriving. There is a peculiarly unbearable quality to this permanent, transitional state.

A never-ending game of tag that we always seem to lose. Life would be so much easier if the Future were known. We’d have certainty. We might even find comfort.

It is such comfort that I find myself constantly craving, and quite understandably. The comfort of certainty is so easy to idolize because it promises so much. To know the Future is to be free from worry. Free from the terrifying darkness of ignorance. And so, ever since I can remember, I’ve had an unhealthy obsession with securing this certainty. I plan, plot, and strategize. I place hope in an idea of the Future constructed from the yarn of a feeble imagination; and when the Future inevitably becomes the Present, it becomes clear just how feeble those plans really are.

All my efforts to impose structure on the unknown have come to naught. The Present I live in now bears little similarity to the Future I had envisioned a decade, year, month, week... even an hour ago. Yes, the Future is certainly a strange thing.

Yet, the mind-boggling endeavor of trying to understand how God relates to the Future is, by countless orders of magnitude, even stranger than the Future itself, and, for many of us, it can be an unwitting source of temptation. For one of the most persistent and foundational sins of humanity is making less of God. We are continuously engaging in the age-old industry of humanizing that which made us human. We try to cage God behind the limits and borders of human experience. In our minds we fashion temporal idols of a contemporaneous “God” who exists in our Present and is bound by its rules.

But for the Great Be-ing - the “I Am” - who existed before Time itself and breathed the very time-space continuum into existence, Time is not a constraint, and the Future is not unknown. This statement should make no sense to us. Human thought, bound by Time, cannot capture the full essence of God’s timelessness. All our notions of cause and effect hinge on Time. But God caused/ causes/will cause the very existence of both Time and causality.

Indeed, the previous statement that God existed “before Time itself ” is nonsensical. What meaning does “before” have beyond the confines of “Time”? Rather, God operates outside of Time, and “the Future” is no meaningful constraint for Him.

It is, perhaps, only within the framework of this strange tension that we can even begin to understand the full metaphysical magnitude of the Incarnation event: Jesus, a personhood of the Godhead, who existed before all of Creation - yes, even “before” Time - chose to operate within Time, and, thus, experience, as we humans do, the “Future.” The extra-temporal Time-maker entered Time. For a split cosmological second, God Himself had a Future. Take a moment and let the overwhelming awesomeness of that truth sink in.

We probably won’t ever fully grasp this awesomeness. It’s such an outlandish proposition, but it’s true. God didn’t just put on a human-shaped coat. He didn’t just move from some higher realm to ours. God placed Himself within Time and experienced the Future as we do, such that Jesus Himself was able to truly say about his Second Coming, “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”1 Jesus, “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.”2 God emptied Himself. Isn’t that crazy?

The metacosmic majesty of what Jesus did is so immense, and yet, I confess the worries of the Future can, all too often, seem even bigger. Why is that? Why do calendars and schedules, work shifts and due dates, test scores and projects and applications and interviews fill up so much of my mind?

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”3 I read verses like this and nod my head in agreement, but in spite of everything, my heart’s most visceral reaction to the troubles of tomorrow remains a predictable scream of worry. “The Future is scary, God, and ignoring that fact is easier said than done.” There is so much that is unaccounted for, so much that we can’t control.

And God agrees.

In the Book of James, “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”4 It’s a grim situation. We are so small in comparison to the countless multitude of things that can and will happen in the Future. We can’t even begin to understand what this Future has in store. But God is even bigger. Which is why James goes on to say in the next verse, “Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”5 The Lord’s will is the Future. Bearing this in mind, the fact that Jesus experienced the Future as we do becomes much less of a

mystery. For, on a fundamental level that comes of being one with God, Jesus had a certain trust that the Lord’s will would come to pass. This is why He tells us to pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”6 Jesus had this kind of trust and was able to pray this prayer in true earnestness, for Jesus is the kingdom. He is the fulfillment of the Future.

This truth changes everything. The Future need no longer be uncertain and strange. The Future has been made clear. God will triumph. No, rather, God, not being bound by Time, has already triumphed, He has always triumphed. It is in this triumph, in the certain victory of the will of God that we can find hope.

And this is no ordinary hope that we have been given. The “hope” of the world is such that the very word, “hope,” seems to bear with it a conditional, tentative connotation. We “hope” because something may or may not happen. Hope belongs to children and fools. Hope is the last resort. Because the Future is always bigger and darker and less predictable. But not anymore.

For all of us who believe, Hope is assured. It is the first resort, and the Future is one of certain joy.

I have not fully grasped these truths. I still worry and fear the Future. On this broken Earth, it may, perhaps, always feel as if the Future is something to be feared. But a truth that I am more and more coming to realize is that, yes, while God is so much greater than anything we could possibly comprehend, and while the way he sees the Future is so far beyond anything we could possibly know, God Himself, as Jesus, made Himself known. As Jesus, He shone a light into the Future and made it clear, and we know that it is a good Future. And so, my challenge to myself, and to you, Reader, is simply this: find unparalleled joy in the fact that, because of Jesus, we can pray with utmost certainty, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

Amen.

1. Matthew 24:36 ESV 2. Philippians. 2:6-7 ESV 3. Matthew 6:34 NIV 4. James 4:14 5. James 4:15 ESV 6. Matthew 6:10 ESV

Dominick is a kid from Mission Viejo, CA in his third year, who should probably be doing his sociology readings, but much prefers talking to folks like you

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 7

The Elusive Future

A

Viktor Palenny, STAFF WRITER s one endeavors to think about something as given and as common as the future, one will inevitably, I think, run into some interesting thoughts. First, “the future” comes off as a kind of paradox. It is a paradox because whenever people refer to it they always preface it with a definite article. What can be so definite about something so fluid, unpredictable, and shape shifting? Now granted it is an idea of possibility and such and we need to think of it somehow. But I propose that people do so because no one thinks of the future as a completely open-ended ellipsis, as it really is, but choose to think of it as something they can change, something they can forge to their desire. So when they think of the future they think of their projected future, as they desire it to be. The future is, therefore, always a deeply personal thing. Thinking of it is an exercise of self-conception and imaginative self-creation; one invests a personal, possessive quality in this idea.

Secondly, the future is ambivalent, having a bipolar quality about it. Because people see themselves as free agents who are free to fight against the chaos of pure potentiality in hopes of succeeding, they ascribe a precarious and weighty role to “the future.” This exertion becomes the source of all our sinister fears and fulfilling hopes: not only the possibility of overcoming and succeeding but also the possibility of failure and disappointment are all rolled into one definite article. Both of these delightful and overwhelming outcomes not only keep students up at night – often quiet literally— but, I propose, also drive most everything we do. These fears and hopes direct most everything we occupy ourselves with. In the light of this ambivalence, we bear an overwhelmingly heavy burden to bring this defined future about. This ambivalence has a long pedigree in the imagination of the Western mind: a few extremes can be seen by the Enlightenment thinker Denis Diderot, who believed in the (eventual) perfectibility of man through gradual progress with the ideal society following not too far off, and, on the opposite end, by writers like Aldus Huxley and George Orwell, the jeremiad prophets of doom and gloom.

Third, it seems to me that the future by definition is always tragically out of reach: people, especially people attending Berkeley, rarely stop projecting themselves upon their future (I for one have never met a student without goals or ambitions in my time here), which makes for an ever-receding goal. Once you graduate high school with distinction, there is college; once college is over with there is the law school or that particular company or position; then there is always the promotion, the corner office etc. It turns out to be the proverbial carrot suspended in front of a mule, something that is always out of reach, but bears enough attractions to keep at it. Pink Floyd captured this sentiment in their eighth and most famous album, Dark Side of the Moon. From that album, the song Time resounds (I hope the reader will pardon the cliché of quoting a ubiquitous rock band, but in this case it is too good to pass up): Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun The future never quite arrives, but ambition following ambition, goal following goal, pushes it just enough in reach to keep one busy and pushing along. This does not mean that one does not feel partially fulfilled or accomplished, but simply to say that the future never arrives as the ideal someone has conceived. Reality never quite fits the picture. The ideal future seems to be around the corner of a spiral staircase.

8 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

I would venture to say that it is not only the few decades of this life that concerns those thinking of the future, but also the time beyond it as well. This might seem counterintuitive in a culture that no longer recognizes the “afterlife”. However, whichever creed one subscribes to (or not), there is a certain preoccupation with the time after one’s deaths. This is, perhaps, why people set up monuments, write wills, leave endowments, or more generally try to live their life in such a way where they “live on” after they have passed. Whether one wants to be remembered by their family, or want their name in the history books, the desire for one’s memory to perpetuate beyond the years given and be remembered, celebrated, or respected is common. Anonymity scares the modern man and woman.

This often motivates us to live altruistic lives. But even here the future does not give way. The hopes that people project into the future, tragically, do not last. We walk the streets named after noteworthy people, pass buildings that bear the name of someone great, but most bystanders have no idea what those names mean. Even familial relations cannot ultimately last: for even those who go through the archives and perhaps trace their family’s origin find that the memory of our families fades away after two or three generations, a few centuries at best. The future is unkind to those who wish to leave a permanent mark upon this world. Now I can certainly sympathize with the common desire to be remembered, to live on past one’s time, through the memories of others or marks we leave upon this world. But alas, the mark left upon the memories of those whom we wish to “live on” through is fragile at best, a fistful of sand.

Perhaps a historical digression would be helpful to illustrate my point. During the Renaissance a scholarly discipline emerged by the name Philology (Greek for the love of words). This discipline offered a radical hope to the scholars who cultivated it. It offered them the hope of securing a future that would extend long past their time. This love of words offered a type of immortality that would, through their fame and insurmountable skill, prolong their “future” to posterity. Their writings, as traces of themselves, promised safe passage through the secure medium of the printing press and libraries and such. It is the Renaissance that showed the world that writing does not die. These scholars showed that even the classical culture, which laid dormant for two millennia, could be re-born and resurrected (as the meaning of the word “Renaissance” suggests). Even a man as pragmatic and scientific as Francis Bacon could proclaim the unquenchable desire for immortality as humanity’s driving force. Even he regarded writing as the outstanding medium for its fulfillment.

This preoccupation with a certain literary “afterlife” is an interesting case-and-point, for people’s desire for a secure future.

It is as if the Renaissance inaugurated a new implicit “religion”, an alternative to the Christian cosmology. This medium of writing and the fame it promised was, indeed, their future and the resurrection. It offered nothing less than what seemed to be immortality by showing the trace of writing to be impervious to time and its acidic and coercive power. This new “religion” of philology came with its own temples (libraries), its own saints (the classic authors), its own canon (literature of Greece and Rome), and its own priests (the scholar).

But this dream, this hope, of gaining eternal future fame and immortality would elude them. The very agent of their hope, the printing press, turned out to be its downfall. The supply and demand of the emerging industrialized market would make all such “eternal” writings superfluous and trivial in the lights of the millions of other books being published. What was initially considered a noble profession turned into a way to make a buck, which placed a question mark beside its nobility. Someone might interject and say that perhaps I am being unfair to those great authors. Don’t we still read their works after all? But the objection misses the arbitrary and contingent nature of those whom we consider great. We certainly do not consider their works great because they intended them to be.

This problematic tension between one’s desires to make an indelible mark upon the memory of this world and the elusive nature of the future is resolved in a very unexpected way within the Christian tradition. Christianity claims to have resolved this tension by rearranging how one thinks of time and narrative. The Western intellectual tradition receives its idea of plot from Aristotle. He described plot as something that has a beginning, middle, and an end. The New Testament radically rearranges this commonsensical arrangement by introducing the end in the middle of the story. What in the world can this mean? The Christian Scriptures, affirming the basic human desire for the future, solve the tension by bringing about the “end” of the world in the middle of history. The one to whom Christians look to secure their future had already accomplished it. The long awaited God-man has already secured the future for those who look to him.

For the Christian, in this sense the tragedy of the future is solved. The fretting and striving to make a name for one’s self is already accomplished by Another on our behalf, which relieves the Christian from this project of self-creation, the making of a name for one’s self, and gives way to worship and gratitude. To the degree that one is convinced by what this God-man has accomplished on their behalf, to that degree one will be secure and comfortable with the tragedy of the future. In that sense, I would say that Christians are called to be like the Greek god Janus, who has two faces instead of one, each looking in one direction. So is the Christian called to have two faces: one looking to the past, where the God-man has secured the fate of the future; the other looking to the future, where it will be delivered.

I believe the Christian Scripture refers to these two faces of Janus as faith and hope: faith in what Christ has accomplished on our behalf, and hope that he will finish what he has started.

Viktor Palenyy is a third-year History and Classics major, who is bad at thinking up author bios.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 9

Blessed endurance Stephanie Yom, STAFF WRITER

Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

W

James 5:11

hen I ask friends or classmates “What are you excited for in the future?” or “What are your future plans?” I usually receive responses along the lines of the profession they are pursuing, or a specific event in the future they are looking forward to such as having a family, getting married, traveling. When I am asked the same question, my typical answer is, “I’m not sure.”

Although this too is a very common and acceptable answer, it does not reflect my true thoughts. Since the last semester of sophomore year, whenever I think of the future, it is very bleak and tinged with hopelessness. Sometimes, I do not desire a future. Instead, I desire a future where I do not exist.

I have struggled with mild to severe depression consciously for seven years. When I was younger, the future was an escape for me when the present felt too unbearable. I envisioned

10 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

that the future me would be happier and not weighed down by self-hating thoughts, feelings of alienation, or lack of motivation. I did not know how that would happen but just hoped that it would. But, as I progressed into the “future” I had imagined, that picture I had shattered. I was still the same. I still struggled with the same thoughts and emotions or void of emotions—but it felt somehow even worse with the added stress from being a college student, the difficulties that naturally arise in life, and the shattering of my vision. As a junior quickly approaching my next decade, I ask myself, “Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? A future where I will continue struggling and alternating from one treatment to the next? A future where I will wake up many mornings wondering why I’m alive without the motivation to even get out of bed? A future where I can switch from being cheerful to apathetic midday for no reason?”

As a Christian and a believer in the Gospel, I try as hard as I can to resist these thoughts and ideas. I believe that the Almighty God who makes no mistake in His Creation has lovingly and meticulously created me and everyone else in this world. I believe in the Gospel that states that even though mankind has rejected and rebelled against God, God showed grace and unconditional love by becoming man to

relate with us and to die for us on the cross so that we could be in a relationship with Him once again as He intended. These are truths that I know and believe, but still, I am caught in an extremely draining struggle that I consider my own personal spiritual warfare. A spiritual warfare wherein I constantly have to recognize the lies inside of my mind and reconcile them with the truths that God has given me. But God has provided even more for me than these truths, He has provided for me real people and stories from the Bible to relate to, to find strength from, and to help remind me of His character.

One of these stories is the Book of Job. The Book of Job was one that I found initially too intimidating to read and I misconstrued it as merely a story about suffering. However, near the end of this summer, I happened upon it on a day when I felt overwhelmed and very tired. I ended up searching Google with the phrase “Christian struggling with depression” and the book of Job came up. My first thought was that reading Job would make me more depressed, but my curiosity got the best of me.

And after going through the book, analyzing it, and talking it over with others, I found the Book of Job to be more than just a story of suffering, but a book about faith triumphing despair.

In the Book of Job, Satan seeks to turn Job away from God and so he wreaks chaos in Job’s life. Job loses his wealth, his home, his children and his health, yet never curses or renounces God like Satan desires. Even in Job 3:11-13,1 when Job curses his own birth and existence, his faith in God does not waver. However, Job is a human and like all humans, he slips. He begins to doubt God and demands that God explain Himself for causing the unfairness in Job’s life. God does not answer Job directly; instead, in four epic chapters, He reminds Job of His omnipotence. The Lord describes the mysteries and wonders of life that no mortal can understand or perfectly explain. He reminds Job of how He has created everything and how intimately He knows each of His creations. “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth? Do you observe the calving of the does? Can you number the months that they fulfill and do you know the time when they give birth, when they crouch, bring forth their offspring, and are delivered of their young?”2 He reminds Job of the weakness of mankind. “Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook or press down his tongue with a cord?”3 To other people, this answer to Job’s question may seem arrogant but truly, how can we, who reside in His universe and whose lifespan is a mere second in comparison to the whole existence of God, question the way God runs this world? God asks, “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?”4 And Job, understanding of this and in awe of God’s power, responds humbly, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be

thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”5 Job responds in this way because he knows the truths about God. He knows that ultimately God is good and faithful to His children and that He is in control of everything even when things seem chaotic and despairing. There are many times when I question and doubt and seem so close to giving up, but I too know these truths about God and I know this even more because I have been given the Gospel. I know that I have been saved through the Cross and have been so loved—and continue to be loved—by the Almighty God. I no longer hold the naive mentality that life will be, in comparison to the present, more peaceful or bearable in the future. I know that I will continue to struggle; that the theories I have about my future may or may not come to fruition and that there will always be a spiritual warfare going on inside my mind. I may not completely understand why I am afflicted with a mental health issue or go through times of suffering like Job and I definitely do not constantly desire to go through them, but I will endure like Job because I know who God is and the truths He has given me. I know God to be all-loving, all-powerful, and always in control. Though the future may seem bleak, dim, and unsure, God and the Gospel are unshakeable. I can place my hope in the Lord and His promises. My prayer is that throughout my life, I can remain steadfast like Job as he is praised by James in times of suffering. Also in Romans, I am called by Apostle Paul to rejoice during those times. “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” 6 My hope is that by enduring my hardships and rejoicing in the Lord, God’s glory would shine through my life.

1 Holy Bible (ESV) Job 3:11-13 2 Holy Bible (ESV) Job 39:1-3 3 Holy Bible (ESV) Job 41:1 4 Holy Bible (ESV) Job 38:2 5 Holy Bible (ESV) Job 42:1-3 6 Holy Bible (ESV) Romans 5:3-5

Stephanie Yom is a crazy third year MCB major who cannot believe she is a junior already. She hopes to make more joyful memories in her remaining semesters at CAL with her beloved friends.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 11

I'll Come Up With A Title Tomo M

Josh Joo, STAFF WRITER

ost would say time is properly basic.

It’s just a fact of life, right? But the more I think about it, it has a paradoxical nature. It can be a source of excitement and awe at the limitless possibilities. It can also be a source of despair and angst because of uncertainty and uncontrollability.

Everyone has their own view of time. To Steve Jobs, time was something to be valued: “My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we

"Don't get it? It's okay, no one does."

all have is time.”1 To others, it’s just a constant source of worry – What will I wear? What will I do? And most importantly, what will I eat?

Academics and philosophers still struggle with this concept that seems so fundamental to our lives. They’ve devised the “A” and “B” theories of time. Each makes sense but only one can be correct, and there’s absolutely no way to determine the right one.

Theory A argues that time is tensed, and B argues that it isn’t.

One says time is made up of past, present, and future wherein only the present actually exists, the other says time is just a series of events that occur before or after other events – it’s untensed.

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Don’t get it? It’s okay, no one does.

Saint Augustine of Hippo got it right: “What then is time? If no one asks me, I know: if I wish to explain it to one that asketh, I know not.”2 When grappling with concepts as big as time, I find Thomas Hobbes’ approach the most helpful – first conceding that man cannot fully comprehend certain things.

Hobbes took this approach with God and conceded that because God is infinite, he cannot be fully understood by man. It would be ignorant to think otherwise.

While Hobbes’ theological views were and still remain controversial, I think this is the right approach. He argued that man is unable to fully comprehend God because man is finite and God in infinite. Time is not God. But, I think it is sufficiently great enough to concede that man will never fully understand it.

Past, present, and future. Three distinct phases of time. But which is most important? Some would argue the past is the most important. We even have an entire field of academic study devoted to it – history. But I think it’s safe to assume that the past isn’t the most important phase of time for most people. Sure, we get hung up on some things and we all have things we’d like to take back, but ultimately the past is something we should learn from and then move on from.

Is the present the most important? It is, after all, the only phase of time that we live in; some would argue it is the only one that exists. It’s the only one we have control over. But I would argue that we treat the future as the most important.

Isn’t everything we do in the present in anticipation of the future? It’s drilled into us to prepare for it. The future is full of opportunities, and every day we prepare for them. We’re so concerned with something that doesn’t even technically exist yet. Why? The wisest words concerning the future I have ever heard are

rrow these: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”3 This is how Jesus punctuates his message on anxiety in his famous Sermon on the Mount. I think what he’s getting at is this: if you’re reading this article, then the future almost literally has limitless possibilities. The whole world is at your fingertips. While this strikes awe, it does come with anxiety. The more possibilities, the more uncertainty. The more possibilities one has to prepare for. How does this play out in our lives? We try to bear more than a lifetime’s worth of burdens in just one day, preparing so that no opportunity is missed. As Blaise Pascal puts it, “The present is never our goal: the past and present are our means: the future alone is our goal. Thus, we never live but we hope to live; and always hoping to be happy, it is inevitable that we will never be so.”4 Jesus is not endorsing some ancient Jewish form of #yoloswag.

Rather, he’s saying don’t let the worries of tomorrow bog down today; don’t worry a lifetime in one day. Until the end, there will always be a tomorrow and each one will have worries of their

– the salvation brought by Jesus’s death on the cross has secured the future for every believer in the form of eternal reconciliation with the Father. Everything that happens between now and then is very real, and I don’t deny the importance of living this life properly. However, in the grand scheme of things, while this side of heaven may be a nice place, it’s only a place worth passing through and certainly not a place in which to reside.

Meeting graduation requirements, paying rent, studying, eating, sleeping. These are all very real problems among others brewing on the horizon. I’m not advocating a life of reckless or shortsighted living. Don’t get me wrong here. But what I am saying is these worries shouldn’t consume a person. Life is lived day by day whether one likes it or not. Each day will have worries of its own which need to be addressed and the first and foremost is this: Am I right with God today?

1. Jobs, Steve. “All Things D3 2005.” Carlsbad, CA. Web. 15 Nov. 2014.

2. Augustine, “Book XI.” Saint Augustine’s Confessions (Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP, 1960)

"Jesus is not endorsing some ancient Jewish form of #yoloswag." own. What will I wear? What will I do? What will I eat? These are all valid concerns but what are the worries of today? For the Christian, I think the implications of Jesus’s statement are clear.

What good is it to worry about tomorrow? God will provide. He may not provide lavishly or in the ways we demand, but He will provide one way or another. In a sense He already has provided

3. Matthew 6:34 4 . Blaise Pascal, No. 172. ET by W. F. Trotter (Everyman ed.), 1943, pp. 49f.

Josh Joo is currently a third year political science major who will worry about finishing this author bio tomorrow.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 13

Strangers in a Strange Land

I

left home on August 17, 2012, and haven’t been home since.

Sure, I’ve returned to the place where I grew up, but I no longer call it home because I know I can’t stay there forever.

Visits back to my former home are by definition, temporary, and always involve a return trip back to school. Berkeley is not my home either though, but rather just a resting place on a long journey. I live as though I have a future after Berkeley, and refrain from becoming too attached to specific people, cafes, libraries, and classes, knowing that I will soon no longer have those things in my life. I am essentially an exile, a stranger living in a land that is not my home.

Yet my life on earth is temporary too. It is a mere drop compared to the ocean of time I will have after I die. How then should I live, both as a college student, residing in Berkeley for four years, and as a human, residing on earth for a mere snippet of eternity?

The prophet Jeremiah wrote a letter to Israelites exiled in Babylon, a group of people much more similar to me than I initially realized. The Israelites were taken from their home, a centuries-old nation built on a promise God made to Abraham1, and brought to Babylon, a rising nation bursting with both

14 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

intellectual opportunities and pagan idols. God’s command to these exiles as recorded by Jeremiah sheds light on how I should live.

Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat

their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take

wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.2

Later in the letter, Jeremiah tells the Israelites they will be exiled in Babylon for seventy years3; therefore they should spend that time (essentially the rest of their lives) building houses, multiplying, and more broadly, seeking the welfare of the city.

What exactly does it mean to “seek the welfare of the city”?

In Hebrew, “welfare” is translated shalom, a word Jews still use to greet one another and one which “covers all aspects of peace and plenty.”4 At that time, “the city” was an individual’s whole world and all that they knew, so seeking the welfare of the city is analogous to seeking the welfare of this world.

One of the recipients of this letter was Daniel, a Hebrew selected to serve in the Babylonian court – the same Daniel who

left the lion’s den completely unharmed. Daniel took Jeremiah’s letter seriously and exemplified what it means to live faithfully as an exile. Through Jeremiah’s letter, God tells the exiles that he sent them into exile. Therefore, Daniel knew Babylon was where God deliberately placed him and faithfully did his work with excellence, even though it directly benefitted Babylon, not Israel. He used the resources God gave him, “learning and skill,”5 to eventually become the third highest ruler of Babylon. Even his enemies could find “no error or fault in him.”6 I too can seek the welfare of this world by doing my work with excellence. Unlike Daniel, I am primarily a student right now, and with each semester, I seem to have more texts to read, papers to write, and problem sets to complete. Yet as Paul commanded the Colossian slaves, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”7 As a Christian, I am asked to put my heart into my work, doing it for the glory of God. Rather than just plowing through tasks to complete them, I can do them with excellence, knowing that God sees the effort I put in.

Another aspect of seeking a city’s welfare is investing in the people around me. Rather than asking the Israelites to keep themselves pure by gathering as one community and limiting contact with the Babylonians, God tells them to intermarry with the Babylonians, becoming fully integrated into that society. I do not intend to literally “take wives and have sons and daughters,” but the point nevertheless is clear. Invest in the people around me – roommates, classmates, coworkers, and random people I happen to meet. Be willing to enter others’ lives, Christian or non-Christian, and listen to their stories, encourage them, and bless them with my time, talents, and treasures. Though time on earth may seem short compared to all of eternity, it is definitely long enough to make a difference in someone else’s life. An investment implies a pay-off, and God promises that when I seek the welfare of those around me, I will find my own welfare.

A final—and related—part of seeking a city’s welfare is bringing shalom to it. According to Paul, for Christians, true shalom—completeness, peace, contentment—is found not just in knowing Christ, but is Christ himself8. The greatest way to seek the welfare of others in my life is by telling them about the source of all shalom, Jesus.

Bringing shalom to others necessarily involves sharing my beliefs with others, which begins with being open about my faith.

Because Daniel worshipped God freely, contrary to the law, he was thrown into a lion’s den. However, God delivered Daniel by shutting the lions’ mouths, leading King Darius to praise God and decree that all Babylonians “tremble and fear before [God] for he is the living God, enduring forever.”9 Because Daniel was open about his faith, the whole kingdom heard about God.

Jeremiah’s letter finishes with an amazing promise from the Creator of the universe: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.10

God promised the exiles that after seventy years, he would bring them home. Many would not live to see that day, but they would be able to fully invest themselves in Babylon knowing that they could trust in God’s promise. They were part of a larger story, one that would extend far beyond their lives. Israel would not be exiled forever, but would return home soon. However, this home would be even better than the one they left, since they would know God intimately there. Though the present looked grim, God promised the future was bright.

As much as I would like to call my post- graduation residence my home, it will be neither my final home nor my truest home.

Yes, eternal life began when I received salvation, but as long as sin and pain remain a part of my life, and I can labor to tell others about my faith, I am not truly home yet. I am awaiting heaven but am able to invest in the place where I reside for now, knowing that my truest home awaits me. To quote the author of Hebrews: These all died in faith, not having received the things promised,

but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having

acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the

earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are

seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from

which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to

return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly

one.11

1. Genesis 17:4 2. Jeremiah 29:5-7 (ESV, emphasis added) 3. Jeremiah 29:10 4. ESV Study Bible 5. Daniel 1:17 6. Daniel 6:4 (ESV) 7. Colossians 3:23 (ESV, emphasis added) 8. Ephesians 2:14 9. Daniel 6:26 (ESV) 10. Jeremiah 29:10-13 (ESV) 11. Hebrews 11:13-16 (ESV) Lisa Ann Yu is a junior studying statistics and psychology who loves puzzles, pretzels, and problem-solving.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 15

Seong Min (Daniel) Yoo, CONTRIBUTING WRITER Due to space constraints, this article has been condensed and edited from its original form. The full version will be on unknowngodjournal.com.

I

n the age of tolerance, the idea that there is but one truth is not tolerated outside the church. However, there seems to be a strange passivity even within the church when it comes to false teachers and false teachings. As the Bible is filled with warnings to Christians to contend seriously for the right doctrine, it would be of benefit to learn what has been taught throughout the ages. In 1 John 2:18, John warns his flock that, “it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come.” Truth by nature is divisive, and it is my firm belief that genuine Biblical unity can only be attained in truth. In exposing error, some cherished beliefs of my brothers will be attacked. Please understand that I am not attacking these brothers. I merely wish to expose error through an exploration of historic doctrines and encourage the Church to let the Word of God be authoritative.

The role of Christian teachers is to teach the nature and character of God, and if what we are being fed is not rooted and grounded in historic orthodoxy, there is a danger of heretical doctrines. Heresy here is defined loosely as religious opinion or doctrine that is fundamentally contrary to established doctrines from the Protestant perspective. With this piece I hope to illuminate the church to old heresies that were dealt with by faithful men of the past by skimming through approximately the first thousand years of the church. Through this, I hope to alert you to some of the modern masks these old lies are wearing today.

Lest there be some romantic idealization of the early church, let us recognize that most if not all of the apostolic letters of the New Testament were at least in part a response to heresies that had arisen since the very foundation of the Church. Ecclesiastes 1:9 says, “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun,” and thus many of the errant doctrines of today can be traced 16 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

back to historic roots. The first and perhaps most prevalent of all heterodoxies would be the extremes of legalism and antinomianism. Legalism loosely is the idea of salvation by works - that by our actions we are saved - and thus to attain right standing with God we ought to do. Antinomianism is on the other side of the spectrum, and is loosely defined here as the idea that since we were saved by grace, we are given freedom to act in whatever manner we wish. Neither are the intent nor message of salvation, but throughout the ages, finding the sweet spot between these two extremes has proved difficult.

The book of Acts, through the Jerusalem Council (Acts 15), and Paul’s rebuke of Peter (Galatians 2) lays a clear foundation that we are not to be legalistic in that salvation is not limited to human station, culture, or symbol. During the onset of the church, men of a group named the Judaizers insisted that the Gentile believers must become as Jews as a prerequisite for salvation. This is an issue that came up repeatedly in the New Testament, and the writers of the apostolic letters repeatedly stress that we need not hold to Jewish culture to be saved.

The modern form of legalism is the so-called Christian Culture often found in culturally Christian areas, where being saved means a list of do’s and don’ts. Don’t drink alcohol, don’t watch R-rated movies unless they are about Christ, don’t listen to

A major purpose of the letter to the Romans and especially to the Galatians, was to combat a works based salvation popular in light of the traditional backdrop of the Jewish religion. pop music, only worship songs, don’t go out with friends unless it’s for Friday night church activities, and the list goes on. The idea of earning salvation is often the basis for many world religions that teach salvation through adherence to a moral standard. Obey, and God will approve of you is this heresy’s message, and yet our doctrine shouts loud and clear, God approves of you, so obey.

A major purpose of the letter to the Romans and especially to the Galatians, was to combat a works based salvation popular in light of the traditional backdrop of the Jewish religion. In Galatians, Paul again confronts the Judaizers who required circumcision as a means to salvation, and proclaims boldly in Galatians 3:7, “Know then that it is those of faith who are sons of Abraham,” and concludes in verse 9: “in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the blessed Spirit through faith.” This means that the Old Testament promise of salvation for the descendants of Abraham is available for any who believe, and is not meant only for the Jews.

The letter to the Colossians was written to combat similar things. Although we don’t know exactly what Paul was warning against, his writing seems to identify a collection of ideas contrary to the Gospel message. The Colossian letter combated Jewish legalism yet again, but also a different kind of ascetic legalism that required men to “submit to regulations ‘Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch’” (Colossians 2:20-21). Paul also combats the heresies of mysticism (hyper spiritualism outside of the bounds of scripture) and Gnosticism (salvation by secret knowledge) in this letter. In Colossians 3:18 he warns against one who insists on “asceticism and worship of angels, going on in detail about visions, puffed up without reason by his sensuous mind.”

What is the modern day equivalent to these? Asceticism was the idea that holy living meant living without any semblance of worldly pleasure1. Some monks in history have gone so far as to only consume stale bread because to taste anything good would be sinful. In modern times this may come up as “poverty theology,” where righteousness is equated to being poor, and thus adherents to modern asceticism would be forced to give up much of what they had been blessed with by God. Lydia of Thyatira was an amazingly wealthy woman who owned much, and yet she was a strong and faithful woman of God. Wealth does not

disqualify salvation nor sanctification.

What about Gnosticism and mysticism? Gnosticism was the idea that salvation hinged on knowing some secret knowledge hidden from plain view. Of course, this secret knowledge is not found in the Bible, and supposedly only found by following teachers of the secret knowledge. Often, a social version of this may appear in modernity. Sometimes called “Fortress Theology,” a group may choose to remove themselves and their members from the world in an attempt to keep themselves pure from the unclean forces outside. Similar to Gnosticism, Mysticism is the idea of power that comes in seeming spirituality and visions without reason nor basis in scripture.

The churches at Corinth and Thessalonica were struggling with licentiousness, especially in the area of doctrinal interpretation.

The Apostle Paul warns the church at Corinth throughout his letters against acting in whatever manner they saw fit. The church was running rampant with sexual immorality, abuse of the Spiritual gifts, misuse of the Lord’s Supper, and factional quarreling. The book of First Corinthians was written in response to questions asked by some in the Corinthian church as to correct doctrines, and the proper application of them. Needless to say, much of the Corinthian confusion came from loose scriptural interpretation, and elevation of desire and human tradition over sound doctrine.

Today, the hyper charismatic movement follows along similar lines, where emotion and experience are given authority, while scripture is eisegetically misinterpreted to suit their own ends.

Even beyond the bounds of scripture we find much debate and division over doctrines. The following are four councils that are held by most Protestants as having orthodox and correct interpretation of scripture. Although only scripture itself holds ultimate authority, much of these doctrinal interpretations of scripture are held as authoritative.

The First Council of Nicea3 (AD 325) was held as a response to the heresy brought by a Presbyter (Elder) and teacher of Egypt named Arius who claimed that Jesus was created, and thus was of a different substance than God. The council declared this Arian Heresy damnable, and established the Nicene Creed affirming the deity and co-equality of Christ to God the Father. In a similar vein, Docetism, the idea that Christ’s human form was an illusion, was also rejected. Today, this Arian Heresy is alive in Mormonism,

The book of First Corinthians was written in response to questions asked by some in the Corinthian church as to correct doctrines, and the proper application of them.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 17

Jehovah’s Witnesses, Unitarians, and Oneness Pentecostals.

A great number of prominent heresies cropped up after the Council of Nicea concerning the Trinitarian nature of God, and thus the Council of Constantinople (AD 381) was held to counter many of these.4 Arianism came up again, and some argued for its veracity. Apollinaris of Laodicea went too far against Arianism and held that Christ held a human body and a divine mind. The Macedonians claimed that the Holy Spirit was not divine. Sabellius taught that the Godhead only manifested one at a time, shifting back and forth between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

In the end, the Council proclaimed these heretical, and produced an updated version of the Nicene Creed including the Spirit as a member of the Godhead.

It didn’t take too long before more heresies made it necessary for the Church to meet as one and discuss truth. The Council of Ephesus was the first in which a major schism happened in the body of the Church. Nestorius the Archbishop of Constantinople along with the church in the East claimed that Christ’s divine nature and human nature could not be in union in one person, as claiming that God was fully man would lead to such statements as God being hungry and tired.5 Instead, Nestorius taught the separation of divinity and humanity of Christ such that it was almost as if there were two people in one body. Nestorius called the Ephesian Council to try to defend himself and prevent his excommunication, but ultimately failed to do so, and the Council adapted the idea of the Hypostatic Union – that God is fully man and fully God, two natures in one person.

The Council also rejected Pelagius’s idea that man was born without sin, and that moral perfection was possible on this side of eternity through human will without divine assistance.6 Saint Augustine countered that man could not choose to do good, and that salvation was an irresistible free gift. Thus, the Council of Ephesus condemned Nestorianism in favor of the Hypostatic Union and Pelegianism in favor of Augustinian Grace, and

18 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

reaffirmed the Nicene Creed. In the end, the ancient churches of the east who were under Nestorius’ leadership broke off in the Nestorian Schism.

The question of Christ’s dual nature and the nature of the trinity kept the church in turmoil as they wrestled with the mystery of the incarnation. The Council of Chalcedon (AD 451) was convened to further clarify the nature and character of Jesus.7 Eutyches of Constantinople taught that Christ’s divine nature swallowed up his human nature and as such, Christ held the same substance as the Father, but a different substance than man.

The understanding that Christ was fully God and fully man was important because Christ claimed divinity and welcomed worship, but also needed to be fully man to fulfill His identity in various prophecies. We as Christians understand salvation as found in the union of the being as both the Son of God (1 John 5:10) and Man (Mark 14:21). The Council ultimately denounced Eutychianism and all other Christological ideas, upheld the Hypostatic Union, and established the Church of Constantinople as having the same level of authority as the Church of Rome.

The cycle of Church schisms continued as the Coptic (Egyptian) Church left after the results of the Council of Chalcedon. The seeds for the Great Schism (AD 1054) to come were also sowed during this council as the Patriarch of the Roman Church disagreed with the idea that the Patriarch of the Church of Constantinople held as much power and authority as he did.8 Through the splitting of the Roman Empire to East and West, different traditions and ideologies began to appear between the two, deepening divisions. At the core of the Great Schism was the dispute of the authority of the Roman Patriarch. Whereas the Roman Patriarch was known as Vicarius Filius Dei (The Vicar of the Son of God), the Constantinople Patriarch was known as Primus Inter Pares (The First among Equals). Each side excommunicated the other, and thus the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Church split. However, the issue of the authority of the Pope remained an issue and was one of the pivotal points that led to the Protestant Reformation.

Today, the three major branches of Christianity hold certain key doctrines that the others teach as heretical. As Protestants, we hold at the base of the Reformation the five Solas, as established by the reformers Luther, Zwingli, Calvin, and Knox9.

Sola Scriptura (Scripture Alone), Sola Gratia (Grace Alone), Sola Fide (Faith Alone), Solo Christo (Christ Alone), and Soli Deo Gloria (For the Glory of God Alone) are the foundations of the reformation. We believe that Scripture alone holds ultimate authority on the revelations of God and not tradition nor popes.

We believe that salvation is by Grace alone through Faith alone because of Christ alone. We finally believe that all is for the Glory of God alone, and that we are not the center. The Reformers held that the Roman Catholic Church (and the Eastern Orthodox)

was in heresy as they did not believe in what they saw as the fundamentals of the Christian faith.

It is important to recognize that many of the heresies covered here have implications on how we view salvation and sanctification. As stated before, much of the New Testament is devoted to combating false teachers and emphasizes retaining correct doctrine. Jude warns us solely of false teachers who hide among the believer, and to keep a vigilant watch. 2 John 1:10 warns us to not provide help to or support false teachers, as he states to not “receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.”

Paul exhorts us in Titus 1:9 that to be an elder was to “be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it,” and warns us in Titus 3:10 about false teachers that, “after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him.” Paul begs Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:16, and many more places to maintain the good doctrine given to him, and to teach his followers this correct doctrine “for by doing so you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

For those who have just begun to follow Christ and feel condemned by what is written here, be at ease. Grace abounds, and there is no expectation that you would know all the doctrines immediately after conversion. Indeed, it is our duty as those who have walked this path slightly ahead of you to teach you these things. For those who are a bit older in the faith, yet have little knowledge of God, take this as an encouragement to learn who God is and what He truly is like. He deserves to be worshipped in truth, and not as we imagine or want him to be. The condemnation the Bible prescribes squarely falls on those teaching heterodoxies, and not on the flock.

These books of the Bible are here as a collection because faithful men of old had identified them as inspired, and offered up their lives to defend them. The blood of the martyrs soak through each doctrine, let us treat theology with gravity. Although doctrine and theology are hard to grasp, the Spirit is promised to us, and He will grow us in sanctification as he reveals Jesus and illuminates the Gospel. We have been given a weighty gift from Christ and those saints who have gone before us. In Paul’s final letter to Timothy before his execution, he exhorts in 2 Timothy 2:15 “to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.”

Likewise, this is the mission we were called into. Let us work hard to seriously contend for the Gospel we were saved by, so that we may pass it on faithfully to the generation to come.

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/413817/Council-of-Nicaea http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04308a.htm http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/409819/Nestorian http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/449033/Pelagianism http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/104580/Council-of-Chalcedon http://www.gotquestions.org/great-schism.html http://www.gotquestions.org/five-solas.html

Note: All verses quoted are in ESV. http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/37864/asceticism/433/

Seong Min (Daniel) Yoo is a Sr. studying MCB and Econ. He is a teacher of

Forms-of-religious-asceticism

EPIC, director of Lumynt, facilitator of ASPI, and Project Manager of PoK

http://www.gty.org/Resources/strangefire/messages

and AAP.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 19

I

Caitlyn Lim, STAFF WRITER t took me a very long time to figure out what I wanted to write about. Prior to this I had already drafted up a 1,379word article on my personal testimony of what “the future” meant or what it was supposed to be. Those 1,379 words captured every stereotypical phrase you probably have ever heard regarding this topic of the future. It culminated my entire life story of how I realized that God’s plan for my life was a thousand times better than my own plan for my life. It attempted to encourage, you, the reader, to trust in God even if His plan didn’t make any sense.

And not to discredit any of these claims or belittle anyone who chooses to explore these topics, but I suddenly felt called to take a different approach—one that I feel is often purposely overlooked.

For some odd reason, I felt every fiber of my being telling me to write about the Book of Revelation. This book is the final book in the Bible, written by John the Apostle who was exiled to the forsaken island of Patmos for his relentless and persistent preaching of Jesus Christ. John was one of the twelve disciples, and is often times known as “the disciple Jesus loved.” Jesus’ relationship with John was more than that of teacher and pupil, or master and servant, and incomparable to Jesus’ relationships with the other disciples. It was a relationship based on mutual unconditional love, and it is for that very reason that not even banishment and exile could keep John from proclaiming that Jesus was Messiah.

The Book of Revelation was a book that I had not even touched until a few weeks ago—and I’ve been a Christian for a few years now. I often purposely refrained from reading anything from Revelation, simply because it scared me. From what I gathered, it was morbid and dark and gruesome and frightening.

Over the years, I had strung together a very vague picture of what this book was saying. I knew of the second coming of Christ and of Judgment Day, and even that there would be chaos and destruction on earth before a new restoration would take place.

But I did not know the extent to which it would take place.

The word ‘revelation’ means an uncovering or revealing of something previously unknown. I have learned that this book is exactly that—a revelation of God’s wrath and His will for His people. While on the island of Patmos, the unveiling of this revelation is brought to John through a series of visions. Through these recorded visions, John acts as the messenger between Jesus and all who believe. John writes of the time of the second coming of Christ, and also of the pain and suffering that will be inflicted on earth. He writes of how war will break out and people will begin to kill each other. The waters will turn into blood, the sun will turn black, the moon will become blood red, and the stars will fall to the earth. Continuous destruction will be inflicted on the inhabitants of the earth as God unveils his wrath. Basically, every preconception I had about the Book of Revelation turned 20 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

out to be completely true.

However, in reading through Revelation, I was also able to see that in the midst of all this suffering, God will remain faithful to those who have lived their earthly lives serving Him. In Revelation 7:3 it says, “Do not harm the land or the sea or the trees until we put a seal on the foreheads of the servants of our God.” All who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will not experience this destruction, but because of the seal of God, which marks us as his sons and daughters, we will be shielded so that no harm may come of us. Whether this seal is a physical mark or a spiritual one we do not know, but the most important thing is that in some way, we will be set apart as sons and daughters of the living God. The Book of Revelation ultimately leads to what is known as Judgment Day. This is the day in which every single person will be judged according to what they have done and anyone whose name is not written in the book of life will be thrown into the lake of fire. Our God is a loving and forgiving God, but he is also a just God—one who is fair and impartial; one who will administer justice according to His standards. And inevitably, the day will come where He will judge every one of us, welcoming those who have accepted Him into their hearts, and turning away those who have rejected Him. But once again, God is faithful to those who have faith in

Him. John writes about how after this day, there will be a new heaven and a new earth. In Revelation 21:2 it says, “I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”' God promises restoration after all this destruction. He declares that everything will be made new again and that there will finally be a day with no more pain and no more suffering. There will be no remnants of the sin of this world, but a renewal of life for those who love and obey the Lord.

For those of us who love the Lord and obey Him, we may now find peace in our souls. We read of this place with no sorrow or misery, no death or loss, no fear or pain. We imagine a new life where we are finally reunited with our Father. All of this sounds good, right? Then why is it that I still feel a deep sadness when I think about it? I know that God sent His one and only son to bear the sins of the world and to die on the cross for me. I know that without Him I am broken. I know that without Him, I am nothing. I recognize that He is the Lord of Lords and the

King of Kings, the Creator, the Savior, the Messiah. The Book of Revelation should reaffirm me of God’s promise and love for me. Yet for some reason, I am still not satisfied.

I keep thinking about the wrath of God that John prophesies will be inflicted upon those who do not believe. And then I think of all the people that I love in this world who fall under that category. How can I look forward to this new life with Christ, knowing that there are people in this world who won’t be in it?

The one thing that gives me some sense of comfort is 2 Peter 3:9. It says, “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

God is a just God, and when the time comes, He will deliver his justice upon us. But God is also a gracious God who wants every person to have the opportunity to accept Jesus’ sacrifice as opposed to suffering the penalty that justice demands of our sins.

God is giving every single person on this earth the chance to recognize the brokenness of humanity without Christ and to acknowledge that He took our place on the cross, carrying the burden of our sin on his shoulders. But we should not take this chance for granted. For those who do not yet believe, God is extending his grace to you. He is constantly pursuing you and whether that is through loved ones, strangers, or even this journal, I encourage you to accept it, for we don’t know how long the offer stands.

For those who do believe, find peace and look forward to this new life. But also recognize and develop a sense of urgency to reach out to those who have not yet discovered the love of Christ.

Jesus is coming soon. It could be years from now or it could be tomorrow, we have no idea. But that should only increase our sense of urgency. As followers of Christ, we should use the time we have on this earth to go and spread the gospel. He calls us through the Great Commission, to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

So I urge you to recognize this sense of urgency and act upon it. Be intentional in your actions and make it a priority in your life to share the love of Christ with those who are still lost and searching for something greater. The future is a scary, scary thing, especially for those who do not know the love of the Lord. But rather than just being content and grateful for the life and future you’ve been promised, share it with someone—anyone.

Caitlyn Lim is a first year who is just beginning to accept the fact that she can't plan or control every step of her future, and by the grace of God, realizing that that's okay.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 21

The SINGLE SIN

S

Sophia Chahal, STAFF WRITER ingleness is treated as a disease in that it is prayed over as if it needs a cure. I find that as I get older, an increasing number of people are praying for me to find my godly man. While I do appreciate this sweet act of love, this prayer should not be a priority in my life. At this stage in our lives, it is essential to create spaces of intimacy with everyone we meet.

Why is so much emphasis placed on finding a husband or wife in our early twenties? This reinforces mediocrity and puts an unhealthy pressure on the Christian community to settle down at an undeveloped age.

My Christian friends are getting engaged and even married at 21, 22, 24 and my heart sinks, as if I am mourning a life! And then I have my other communities where dating is celebrated and encouraged. I find myself battling this dualism of being, first, a woman in Christ who wants to guard her heart under all circumstances, but also being a 21 year old in college where dating is essential for growing healthy relationships. How do I straddle this line?

As Christians, we are so wrapped up in the idea of a marriage that we severely limit our experiences with dating. We need to stop treating the first date like a marriage proposal. A date is simply an opportunity to get to know someone on a deeper level; it is not a life commitment of any kind. Contradictorily, though we place so much emphasis on marriage, dating is seen as shameful and inappropriate behavior for Christians to engage in. Dating is reduced to promiscuity in most communities and this is a problem. It is what we make it to be, so we need to make our dates wholesome, respectable, and intentional. Dating does not equate sleaziness; your intentions in that situation are what make it sleazy.

I argue that the real sleazy behavior is this- selectively dating with the sole intent of marriage. I am not saying we should not date in a serious way, I am suggesting that this fixation on marriage is stunting our growth as sociable human beings.

Instead of encouraging premature marriage in a demographic that cannot even decide on a major, we need to encourage healthy relationship skills.

The most valuable relationship skills are those we learn from being believers of God for we are called to love Him about all else. Through this dynamic we learn of an unconditional and patient love. However, since this love is not always the most tangible, we seek it from people and not from God. We give up on God’s most perfect and pure love by pursuing flawed and unhealthy mediums of intimacy, which is what invites sin to take hold of our lives.

When we are able to fully mature in the matters of the heart through receiving God’s love; that is when we can confidently date without being saturated in sin. When we can achieve this, I encourage us to date, embracing the people we meet along the way. There is nothing inherently sinful about dating and discerning what we like and dislike. In fact, I’d argue that the lack of dating is more unhealthy than dating.

I offer this solution—if we are being godly people, we will attract godly people. Not only this, we will be so focused on our relationship with God that we will not be fixated on secondary things like marriage.

God has called us for greatness, let that resonate in every area of our lives. There is more to this life than finding someone to marry, so if you’re single, enjoy this moment of stillness in your life. Let us use this moment of singleness to reach our full potential as individuals and as lovers. Explore people in a respectable way, of course. Let’s just give ourselves some options.

Sophia Chahal is a third-generation lover of Christ. She is a senior studying sociology, finance, and the mushy matters of the heart.

To the Goldfish in Me So prone to forget with a memory span of but a few seconds…

FROM TUESDAY • 23 SEPTEMBER 2014 Jennifer Yim, CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Dear Future Me. There is an outpouring of sustained, undeserved, inexpressible joy and it is being received in such fullness

by His grace, and His grace alone. But wherever you find yourself, even if it’s not this same outpouring, He is God. He is good. Always.

Be grateful but do not forget: Life comes in seasons and each one is a shower of grace.

Ecclesiastes 3 Dear Future Me. There is no fear in love. This has been the melody of hope the past few weeks so trace it back to its roots: Perfect love casts out all fear and covers a multitude of sins. You have found that Perfect Love, or rather, Perfect Love has found you. How sweet it is to be at the feet of Him who knows and calls you by name.

Be unafraid and do not forget: He calls us into deeper waves.

1 John 4:18 Dear Future Me. No one has a clue what’s in store after graduation—what you’ll be doing or where you will be—there’s nothing lined up awaiting you. But it’s okay! This is what living in faith means right now at this moment in life. You’ve traded your own agendas for His abundant grace and the deepest, surest, truest, transcending peace. It’s a beautiful place to be.

Be steadfast and do not forget: This life is not your own and uncertainty is good for you.

Hebrews 11:1 Dear Future Me. I’d like to think you haven’t forgotten these things. But in the event that you do, let it not be this: Hold onto all things in this world loosely—hands open wide, palms facing up. The only thing worth getting white knuckles over is the Cross. All of college has been learning to let go of control, especially the last six months, testing and learning to live life by faith only with the assurance of the hope of salvation in Jesus alone. Sometimes losing control but slowly, actively surrendering, yielding, and giving up that control… Our fingers will try to curl and grip parts of this world so please. Future Me. Make every effort to declare this daily: CHRIST IS ENOUGH. Be satisfied and do not forget: Fight to stay in this posture of sweet surrender.

Galatians 2:20 Dear Me. Dear You. No turning back.

There is nothing else worth living for.

Jennifer Yim is a beloved daughter who has spent her years in college seeing and tasting the sweetness of Christ's love.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 23

Bon Jin Koo, STAFF WRITER Day 3 Here I am for one year with a bunch of Africans in the middle of nowhere. Can’t tell Mom and Dad exactly where I am for security purposes. Get paid a little, feel good about myself, and put something fantastic on my resume. Sounded easy at first but it’s already day three and I’m dying from the heat. The villagers are nice, but they’re wary of me. They started to trust me once I cleaned up a kid’s nasty knee wound. Oh, and I’m stuck with some old missionary named David. Great.

Day 20 Today was filled with a lot of nothing. Just sitting around, waiting for something exciting to happen like a dog catching on fire (it happened a few days ago). I know most of the villagers’ names now. I asked the missionary about his reason for being here, and we talked at length about it. He’s been here for forty flippin’ years! His name’s David Lancaster, but he insisted that I call him Dave. He also has a wife that came all the way here with him (bless her soul), but I have yet to meet her. He also invites me to the Bible studies he holds with some of the villagers. I politely refuse; I’m not much of a religious man. But he still invites me.

Every. Single. Day. Day 84 Bored. Prevented several infections. Funny case with a lizard(?) thing. Getting the hang of the villagers’ language though! Just one of the things I decided to pick up to pass the time. Oh, went to Bible study for the first time. I guess it was fun. Who knew the Bible and dancing could go together?

Day 143 So between my day and evening clinical shifts (well, I wouldn’t call them shifts since I’m the only doctor here) I just go around and talk with the villagers to pass the time. Makes this whole gig a little more tolerable. I have a knack for languages, so after a couple months or so, I learned most of their dialect. It’s really fascinating. No writing system of any kind. And seven different ways to express the word “love!”

After Dave discovered that I learned most of the dialect, he asked me to help him develop a writing system. He wants to translate the Bible for the villagers. I reluctantly agreed (what else do I have to do?), but I told him it would be an immense task.

He told me that he’d ask his organization to pay me extra, but I felt bad so I refused. He asked me whether I loved the people here. Of course I do! I have to when I’m here. Dave seemed disheartened at my answer.

24 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

pa·tience |'pāSH ns |

no

Day 187 Today… today was… yeah. I finally met Dave’s wife, Abigail. The reason why I never saw her until now is because she’s in advanced stages of… several diseases. By the time Dave noticed something and sent for a doctor, Abigail was too poor in health to be moved. I was amazed she was even alive at all. Today, she stopped talking. After asking for the previous reports and making my own diagnosis I Dave told me she didn’t have very long.

I had a very brief conversation with Abigail. By the end of it, I asked her if there was anything I could do. She said she was proud of me for helping Dave translate the Bible. She humbly asked that I would see the translation through to completion. She closed her eyes before I could reply.

Day 189 Rest in peace, Abigail.

un

Day 190 Burying someone in the village was a bit complicated since the villagers have multiple superstitions about death.

A good friend of mine, ZZ, was the only one from the village who agreed to help Dave and me. It was really difficult… Dave would periodically stop and stare at her coffin when we were carrying it. When we finally buried her, Dave broke down in tears. When I tried comforting him, ZZ had a look of surprise on his face. I thought I did something wrong or sparked a superstition, but ZZ ran off yelling, “White man! White man cry like us!”

Day 243 Dave remained depressed for quite awhile, but he’s looking a little more cheerful now. When I asked him how he was, he said something about God strengthening him.

Forty years of missionary work and not a single follower or disciple or whatever? I asked Dave how he could keep this up, especially without Abigail. I asked him how he could believe in a god that doesn’t reward him for his hard work. He answered: “I have been given the supreme pleasure that is the grace of God. Despite the sin that makes me wholly unworthy, God sent his son Jesus to die for me and make me wholly worthy. He then called me to love others as he loves me. How then can I moderate my love even after all these years? Love by definition is wasteful. Can moderated love be even called love at all?”

I thought long and hard about that question. Was my love for these villagers moderated? Hell, was my love for my own wife back at home moderated? Can moderated

love be called love at all … I mean, the answer is obvious isn’t it? But why does it bother me so much?

Day 300 Dave grew very ill. I agreed to help him conduct Bible studies along with the translation effort. I thought his depression would come back, but I have never seen him more cheerful. He still tries to evangelize to the villagers every day. All I can think of is how unfair God is. If God is real, how could he be doing this to Dave?

Day 316 Going to miss you, Dave. Don’t feel like writing much else today.

Day 317 The villagers were awfully excited for some reason. I didn’t really care. I’m almost done with translating the Bible. Gotta keep working.

Oh, and the young missionary sent to replace Dave came today. His name’s Paul. Nice fellow. Not nearly as funny as Dave though.

Day 325 Today was crazy! After the Bible study today, nearly the entire village wanted to become Christian! Paul and I were both shocked… Paul heard how Dave’s ministry was stagnant. He asked them why they did not respond during the time that Dave was among them. The villagers responded that Dave had told them that if they became followers of Christ they would not fear death. This impressed them, but they needed to see whether it was really true. So they waited until he died, and seeing the way he died made them all want to become Christians.

Day 360 Today was my last day. Paul and the villagers threw a huge farewell party. I was touched. ZZ presented me with the first translated copy of the Bible. ZZ had become Christian a few days before and asked me if I was interested. I said I still needed to think about a lot of things before making a decision like that. As I got on the boat that would take me home, ZZ said he would pray that God would show “suehsap” to me. It was one of the seven ways to express love in their language. This one in particular meant the patient love a parent demonstrated to his or her child. I thought of Dave all the way back home.

Bon Jin is a senior who enjoys photography and drinking tea.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 25

lilies UNDER THE

bridge

I

Anonymous, CONTRIBUTING WRITER f she had known, indeed.

If she had known that lingering after class and breathing in dust motes suspended in the sun, if she had known that patting the chalkboard eraser and smiling at the new friend— if she had known that in the future it would reap her mother’s disapproval and the pharmacist’s judgment, then she wouldn’t have leaned in.

If she had known that it would lead to her blankly staring at everyone else in her Bible study group, chatting the hours away about— what? Designer handbags? Boys in the same church, things that she knew girls talked about, only not when warming up to Bible study. Shedding frivolous details like nesting birds snuggling up against each other.

But maybe a part of her, the daring youth in that aged, under-funded classroom, had understood this flickering of a path. All that remained was the thrill. Speaking in code.

Drawing a lily on the board, then a pointed glance towards the friend, a smile that she thought her lips weren’t capable of affecting. Light, easy. The little dares of a junior high kid.

So Elodie leaned in and sealed her fate in doing so.

“No one will love me.”

Elodie let out a soft “ha”. “I think we’re too young to know love.”

“Does that mean you don’t love me?” Mayu sounds as soft and frail as she looks. Sometimes Elodie wonders if Mayu keeps her around because Elodie is big-boned and blunt in comparison.

Elodie stopped where she was sketching her original character. “Love is a strong word. Your mother, your father loves you. As a friend I care about you. Maybe we learn to love as we grow up,” Elodie mused.

“They don’t love me,” Mayu said with chilling certainty.

“Does that mean that no one will care about me?”

“What do you mean, your parents don’t love you?”

Mayu shrugged. “Stuff.”

“They feed you, clean up after you.”

“Our maid does that.”

“Dinner table conversations?”

Mayu snorted. “They’re rarely there.”

Elodie, wrong-footed, ventured, “Well, they’re working to save up for your education, right? Everyone gets loved eventually.”

She should have paid attention when Mayu decided to speak Elodie’s language. After she had trilled Roald Dahl’s limericks of hags and brainwashed children, poring over the drawings of Quentin Blake, Mayu’s upper lips had curled and said, “that’s not real poetry.” The next day Mayu peeled back the verses of Richard Siken and presented them like a sore, over-ripe fruit.

“Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.”

“See?” Mayu said, grasping Elodie’s sleeve. “No one will like me.”

“First, this is about sleeping, not love or like,” Elodie said, moving her left hand over Mayu’s with a sigh. With her right hand she continued drawing, shunted to the side; it should remain fresh and free of tears. “Second, no one will approach you if you’re desperate. Humans are weird; we like chasing after things. We don’t like things that come to us.”

Mayu frowned at her flippancy. “So I annoy you.”

“You’re taking it wrong!” Elodie said, frustrated. “I’m telling you the hard truth because I care about you.”

In a joint church outing when Elodie wore her green ribbon wound around her wrist, two guys held hands. She noticed, because one of them, Terrence, had shoulders like the perfect headrest.

“We didn’t know it was like that,” Sarah, one who Elodie personally thought applied too much mascara to an already appealing set of eyes, teased.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 27

“Thanks for keeping us in the loop,” another girl joked.

“No homo,” they said, roughhousing.

Elodie unwound the green ribbon from her wrist. Went home, took a pair of scissors, and then attacked it. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking, became wet. She then stepped into the shower to wash out the tiny, tiny pieces.

She rubbed in places neglected for ages; below her bra, some the outer portions of her arms; the area between her thighs where someone had petted and stirred up streaks of heat that had never faded.

Rub rub.

It’s okay, it’s all okay.

Just okay.

Mayu insisted.

Sometimes Elodie remembered the teary eyelashes more than the dry lips.

And then in Mayu’s room, her house empty of her parents or her brother, “So. That just… happened.”

Mayu shrugged, surprisingly nonchalant. “It was okay.”

Anger swelled in Elodie, and for the first time it crossed her mind that she had hid her pity too well. She wanted to make it good, wanted Mayu to feel the love that she so needed, and suddenly it seemed as if Elodie needed it more.

She tried to hide the bitterness, “If it was that lukewarm for you, we don’t have to do it again.”

A pause. Mayu ventured, “Fine.”

The rustling of overclothes zipping back on filled the following silence.

A picture hung obstructing her mind, a perfect-freeze frame of years earlier through which she saw everyone else: Standing on the bridge. A pill bottle clasped in Mayu’s hand. Elodie and Mayu, with the cars whizzing past their backs occasionally at this late hour, looking at the waters running below.

28 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

Lowly breathing.

“We… keep on doing this to each other. I can’t, I can’t continue.” Elodie’s indrawn breath staggers. One-two, a one-two.

She pries the bottle from her friend’s fingers. Mayu’s downcast, delicate eyes have wormed into her the way the other students begging to “draw me, please” never did. They both look down on the waters below the bridge.

Mayu whispers, “If I were a guy…”

“You’d have brought a gun instead.”

Mayu scoffs. “Of course you’d say that.”

The pills remain close to the chest. Thunders with a onetwo, the systole and diastole, the both of them trapped in a cocoon of their own making.

“Don’t do that again,” Elodie says, and then throws the pill bottle over the bridge.

Mayu snaps.

“No!” Elodie grabs Mayu as she tries to jump over the rails, hands outstretched for the bottle.

“That was my mother’s! She’s going to kill me!” Mayu squirms in Elodie’s grip, and then she whirls on Elodie, eyes brimming with the same scorn directed at the giggling girls of their grade that by turns criticized and praised Mayu’s stick-thin figure. “You. How can you say you care about me when you take my choices away from me?”

“That shouldn’t even be a choice!” Elodie yells at Mayu, indignation rising.

“It is, it’s my life, it’s the only decision I get to make!” Mayu yells. Runs away.

Dear Forgiveness, you know that recently we have had our difficulties Elodie needs to tell their story true. But words failed, so she draws things.

She doesn’t know when the story needs showing, in her Bible study group, like this.

She doesn’t even know what sin she would confess. How it can go. Hello, girls who give and take affection so easily and normally, I draw fanart of gay guys online—I’m sort of a Big Name Fan actually and get fanmail from fans, ha. Their love seems so wonderful and free of the power-play between genders and the objectification that girls go through, when girls end up judging each other for how much they might meet these standards. Every girl character becomes nothing but a whore once she stops being a virgin.

And I can’t stop thinking about how I didn’t love my friend enough. I didn’t know how to help her and I wanted her to stop relying on me because there was only so much I could do.

And Mayu ran away from the bridge and never came back to the same school.

And so it goes.

Her worst nightmare came true one Sunday service.

Elodie spent the rest of the lunchtime feeling adrift, with the conversations dying down as soon as she joined a table, arms shifting and eyes glancing under tables. When she asked, people said it was “nothing.”

She snatched a phone. Twisted it to view upright.

It almost fell from her hand before she reined in her expression. Blood swelled in her ears, and the way that people stared peeled her back in time until she was young.

Les-beans.

She closed the window on her fanart. “Got a problem with that?” She said, trying to sound brave.

“Yes,” one of the other girls said, raising a brow. “You’re supposed to be Christian.”

She didn’t know what to say to that.

As she strode out of the church, she saw Terrence over in a corner flick his eyes over her and then turn to his bros.

The first thing she did when she came home was to step into the shower, ignoring her housemate’s had a good day at church? She stripped herself of all of her clothes, worked the loofah into a lather and rubbed all of the shadows.

Rub rub.

It was okay.

Just okay.

The future would have stretched in a similar manner, her bitterness paving the road away from the path of God, if not for moving to a different church.

A girl at this church whose manner reminded her of Mayu on better days had the most wonderful laugh. She saw the green ribbon Elodie tied around her wrist—wrists are one of the first things we notice, Mayu had said when Elodie asked her what kind of beans they mentioned—and whispered, you too?

She hadn’t known that there had been that many tears left in her.

And then after Elodie opens up, a realization dawns as her friend, not once, says, “But you’re not supposed to be like that.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not worth…” Elodie pleads when she catches her friend’s eye.

“You know who else is too good for you? God. If He still loves you and makes you good then it damn well makes you good enough for anyone. So embrace it, because it’s supposed to be terrifying.”

“It’s terrifying,” Elodie echoes. “It’s love as a religion.”

She breaks off. “It’s supposed to be scary, oh!”

She unfastens the green ribbon from her wrist. Lets it fall, looks her new friend in the eye. She had all eternity to get this love-as-a-religion right.

A UC Berkeley student who wants their most wonderful relationship in life to be the one with God.

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 29

V I G I L I. Vigil

I looked and saw a streetlamp* alight above the sea but it was just the moon* peering down into the water at an image it mistook* for the image of another

so it brought the sea together* leaving me below uncovered that when I looked up at the moon* mistaken for a streetlamp my hope began to gather* and I thought the night was over

but the sun is always late* and still when it arrives it serves only as reminder* of the never-ending night when the moon yet pulls the water* and hangs as though I’d see

as if there were a moon* or as if that moon gave light* or as if that moon would ever do for me.

II. Mattins

At the hour of prayer, Saint Peter’s denial set in stained glass projects his bitter oath upon parishioners to whom his transparency

seems so apparent that they begin to wonder: having followed the man around for years, at some point should he not have realized

his rabbi could also see right through him, before declaring his intention to follow him to death?

Through the window, another kneeling figure

tends the churchyard. When growing light concludes the service, people return to their lives, and the gardener offers each a blossom held in outstretched cupped hands.

M at t i n s 30 To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

EvenSong III. Evensong

“Is this your card?” the magician cries, presenting the joker with aplomb as the other 52 explode in every direction- A regular diaspora-but hears no answer yes. So then begins, on bended knee, the weighty process

of gathering them up: the tender reboxing, the one-by-one restoration of their potential to become a gamble, a game, a trick, a house- Anything at all. The magician considers how this mess had been years in the making, predestined since before the first thought to lay them out.

IV. Compline

When I visit you at the close of the day, I visit bringing news of my life and the world, and you greet me with three kisses and biscuits dipped in tea.

At times the gravity of our conversation has weighed down our souls like the sag in the sofa that you attempt to conceal with a gaudy afghan.

But today I arrive at your doorstep empty-handed, unable even to pray your pardon, having somehow entirely forgotten what to say.

I hope someday you can help me learn to speak again but not here, not now. For now, let’s steep in silence, in each other’s company, holding dear the way we are.

W

co m p l i n e Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 31

e l e c t r i c i a n s A m a n d a G e e

32  To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

It’s because I am my father’s daughter that I notice it: that white switch, pristinely modern against the cracked concrete walls.

The wiring snakes up, its plastic shell protecting it from a day’s worth of humidity and many years’ worth of grime.

The fluorescent overhead collects dead flies.

If only I had my grandfather’s electric thumb, the one that rigged Chinatown up with neon lights, gas stoves, and music speakers.

Then I would press my palms against the wall to spark the room with just a finger flick.

And I would mark the overall result as “good:” The room glows Christmas tree bright and fluorescence sweeps away the shadows so the world sees— what?

The rusted beds?

The stained ground?

The barred windows?

The tourists cringe and the locals mourn as man-made illumination glares out from the darkness of what man has done.

And yet the air in the room pulses, charged, and my blood hums with its voltage Let there be— Let there be— Let there be— the breathless exhales trail off, hungry for the final word

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God 33

Image Credits: Cover: Bon Jin Koo, Winston Kim; Table of Contents: ; 4: Bon Jin Koo; 5: Bon Jin Koo; 7: Winston Kim; 8: Winston Kim; 10: Winston Kim; ÂŹ12: Bon Jin Koo; 14: Winston Kim; 16: "New Testament, Evangelist Matthew, Walters Manuscript W.525, fol. 9r" (flic.kr/p/e1jvvK) by Walters Art Museum Illuminated Manuscripts (www.flickr.com/photos/medmss/) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original; 20: Bon Jin Koo; 22: Sophia Chahal; 23: "Gold Fish" (flic.kr/p/4tvTvu) by Randen Pederson (www.flickr.com/photos/chefranden/) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons. org/licenses/by/2.0/) / Black and white from original, cropped goldfish; 24a: "Dassanech Village" (flic.kr/p/aswgWG) by Rod Waddington (www.flickr.com/photos/rod_waddington/) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original; 24b: "Suri Boy" (flic.kr/p/g7me4d) by Rod Waddington (www.flickr.com/photos/rod_waddington/) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/b-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original; 24c: "Omerate" (flic. kr/p/apCLaB) by Rod Waddington (www.flickr.com/photos/rod_waddington) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons. org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original; 25: "Tigray Trek, Ethiopia" (flic.kr/p/bFwnmF) by Rodd Waddington (www.flickr.com/photos/rod_waddingston) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original; 26: Chrissy Inouye; 28-29: "Springtime" (flic.kr/p/83sA9w) by Jason Samfield (www.flickr.com/photos/jasonsamfield/) is licensed under CC by 2.0 (creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/) / Black and white from original, cropped lilies; 34: Alexander Kusztyk; 35: Chloe Ng ; 36: Bon Jin Koo;

34  To An Unknown God | Fall 2014

To An Unknown God: Christian Thought DeCal Spring 2015 - 2 Units - English Department Thursdays 5-7pm in Wheeler Hall Room 20 To An Unknown God is a journal of Christian thought at UC Berkeley. We exist for the purpose of encouraging Christians and peoples of other faiths to engage in dialogue about how the Christian faith may influence thinking about important cultural, philosophical, political, and academic issues and we seek to foster a deeper understanding of the faith by providing a forum for discussing these issues.The TAUG DeCal course is designed to introduce students to the rich tradition of Christian thought through reading various texts written by major Christian thinkers of the past, from Augustine to Martin Luther to C.S. Lewis and discussing those texts with fellow Cal students.

For more information visit the decal.org and search "To An Unknown God."

Fall 2014 | To An Unknown God  35

Every semester, To An Unknown God relies heavily on private donations to fund its printing costs. Please prayerfully consider donating to make our next issue possible! Checks should be made out to ASUC/To an Unknown God and mailed to: ASUC/To An Unknown God University of California 112 Hearst Gym, MC 4520 Berkeley, CA 94720-4520 Any amount is highly appreciated. Thank you for your generosity!