New Stour & Avon, February 11, 2022 21
stouravonmagazine.co.uk
Health & Wellbeing
Learning the five languages of love
By Susie Carver, consulting hypnotherapist with Sea Change Hypnotherapy in Wimborne seachangehypno.com
How do you like to give and receive love? We all have different ways of communicating our appreciation within our personal relationships, but when we aren’t demonstrating love to our partners in a way that they recognise and value we can encounter frustration, misunderstandings and friction. In 1992 Dr Gary Chapman wrote his best-selling book The Five Languages Of Love which provides some interesting insights and theories based on the author’s extensive career in marriage and relationship counselling. He describes five styles or ‘love languages’ which are typically used when
expressing love. Although we may appreciate characteristics from each style, there is often one that we identify most with. Chapman states that: ‘people tend to criticise their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest need.’ So what are the five languages? Words Of Affirmation You appreciate hearing your partner express their appreciation out loud. The words ‘I love you’ hold deep meaning for you, as do written notes or love letters
affirming your partner’s feelings. This is said to be the most common of the love languages. Quality Time You appreciate it when your partner gives you their undivided attention for a while so that you can spend quality time together. Switching off phones and TV, planning date nights or trips away helps you to feel valued. Acts Of Service You feel most connected when your partner demonstrates their love by helping you out with tasks, assists you to solve a problem or takes stress off your plate. Actions speak louder than any words for people with this love language. Physical Touch Hugs, kisses, holding hands and physical closeness shows you that your partner cares. Public displays of affection are most likely no problem for you, so long as you can
feel an emotional connection through physical touch. Receiving Gifts You feel valued when your partner expresses their love through unexpected gifts and tokens of affection. Far from being shallow and materialistic, this allows you to know that your partner is thinking about you and prizes you. So how can you use this knowledge to enhance communication and deepen your connection? And how can you figure out what’s important to your partner? It’s simple - just ask! If you communicate love in the language that’s important to you, recognise that it may not be the language that’s important to them. You could land way off target! So ask your partner what matters to them, and adapt to a style they will recognise and appreciate. Then you can both enjoy the benefits of giving and receiving love in the most appropriate way for each of you.
Exploring Stour & Avon
with retired Dorset rights of way officer CHRIS SLADE
CORFE MULLEN This is a fairly long walk that takes you through interesting countryside and also through the suburbs of Poole. Start at St Hubert’s Church, which is on the south side of the A31 by the junction with the B3074. There’s parking space close by. The church is worth a visit. With its arched ceiling it should have good acoustics. There’s a herd (or is it a flock?) of alpacas nearby which are interesting to see. There’s a pathway on to a former railway line which takes you a short way to the west, then join a road that winds its way south, west and south again to join a bridleway leading south for a mile through Stony Down Plantation.
n Upton Heath
This meets a road that takes you south west for about a furlong to join another bridleway that takes you south eastwards for about a mile and a half along the parish boundary passing clay pits and crossing Upton Heath Nature Reserve. When you reach the A35, the bridleway
and the parish boundary turn left and head north east for about five furlongs where you meet an old Roman road that takes you north for a couple of miles passing at first through the wooded heathland and then continuing in a straight line through streets on the boundary with Poole. You need to keep an eye out for the Roman road as it’s not obvious at first and is unsigned, so there’s a chance you might overshoot into Poole. When you reach Rushcombe Bottom take the B3074 road that leads you north westwards for nearly a mile to Sleight where it leaves the town and continues westward for another half mile to take you back to your car. You’ll have walked getting on for nine miles.
