F A N T A S Y
October 2016
E D I T I O N
AUS
CONT PAGE 3-6 Regrets of a Failed Fantasy AUTHOR: Liam Wilson DESIGNER: Liam Wilson
PAGE 7-12 Facades in Fantasy Females AUTHOR: Leo Elijah Cristea DESIGNER: Holly Ashhurst-Smith
ENTS PAGE 13-18 Online Identity AUTHOR: Alice E. Marwick DESIGNER: Jacob Hurney
PAGE 19-24 Fantasy in Reality AUTHOR: Patricia Hernandez DESIGNER: Sam Field
Regrets of a Failed Fantasy
I’ve always thought I had tallent, not A grade
From the age of 5, I’d play Football every Satur-
tallent, but more B+ tallent. I could always run fast,
day, and train twice a week. Sometimes even going
but not fast enough to make it into any competition,
across the road to the park with my Father to
I could always run far as well, but I’d always man-
practice and learn from him as he too has played
age to get a stitch whenever I’d represent school
his entire life. He would get frustrated if I didn’t
as a kid, never when training, never in trials, but
pick something up quickly enough for his liking,
always in the competition.
repeat repeat repeat, “practice makes perfect” he
I find this to be the epitome of my life in anything
would say, and so practice I did.Going across the
I endevour to be great in. Sports I try and hobbies
road to that park became a semi-regular pass time
that pass as a phase are nothing to loose any sleep
as a child and teenager, it had goal posts, beyond
about, but its those Fantasies, those dreams that
an entire football fields lenght and a giant hill that
are left as just dreams, when you think you could
my Father reccomended for running up, which
have had a chance, are the ones that creep up on me
although now doesn’t look so big, as a kid it was one
from time to time.
of the most daunting things known to me, being at its sumit felt almost vertical. The park had everything I needed to train to be fit, be skillful, to shoot, to be great. Now this enthusiasm (for lack of a better word) that my dad had towards my Football life would rear its ugly head every weekend. If I didn’t peform well enough, I’d hear about, oh boy did I hear about it, there would be no stone unturned. I didn’t see the good will in my Father’s critique at the time due to his...enthusiasm to doing things right. “You don’t ever listen do you, why won’t you get it through your thick skull” were phrases acompanied by his favorite highlight from the game. As a child sitting in the back seat, I never necisarrily took in what my father was saying I should do differently, but in hindsight I did learn something. I learnt to always doubt my performances, to this day I don’t walk away from a game thinking I’m top shit, I’m always thinking about that one bad pass, that one moment when I shouldn’t have taken a risk. This frame of mind isn’t necisarily a bad thing, especially so in sport, this way of thinking is what made me go home after a game and then go straight to the park to run some more. In the past I may have
blamed this on the fear I had for my Father, but I
team member who throughout all of schooling years
never wanted to be just okay. For years I’d train at
had been ‘that sporty guy’, whom at one point I
that park, and think that I’m training well enough,
probably idolized. Everything was good, great even,
only to go to team training to find that I was only
now theres no freak accident that comes next, there
average, only good. But towards my early teens it
wasn’t a make it or break it snap decision that set
started to pay off, I left East Gosford FC to rejoin
me onto a
my home club Wyoming FC’s Under 13 Cs. This
disasterous. It just slipped away.
was a step down from the previous years Under
I didn’t become a bad player, I didn’t stop trying, I
12 B’s but it was a necsarry jump because East
didn’t even loose the passion for the game. I sup-
Gosford intended to put me into their Ds team, and
pose I just lost momentum. The next season came
so my Father pulled me out because he believed I
and the team got a lot of new players from other
was better than that. That year I became one of the
teams, good players, some better than me.
stand out players of the tream, and that was just
The team also peformed better as a result, we fin-
completley differen’t course, nothing
the success I needed to have
ished 1st on the table and made
the the Under 14 Bs Coach
it to the semi finals, which was
for the following season pick
enough to gain promotion to
me for the team. That year
A grade for the next year. That
I had the best season of my
year as a team didn’t go so well,
Football Career to date. But
we finished near bottom of the
it wasn’t because of my hard
table, and looking at the difi-
work, in all honestly I dedi-
culty of the league there were
cate it to a convenient growth
far better players than B grade
spurt. I was farely taller than
and a plethora of players better
average at the time, my speed
than I. That year though, there
was unparralled by almost
was still a glimour of hope, the
everyone in the league and
Coach of the Clubs Premier
my poor games were few and
League (The best team the club
far between.
can offer), was Co Coaching my
My hardwork wasn’t wasted,
team, and he had selected a few
it did contribute to that sea-
players to be set aside to play
son, but at the time I didn’t
for their reserve team from time
realise how significan’t my
to time. This was the closest
growth spurt was in compari-
thing to the A league you could
son. Everything was just easy,
get, the peak of club Football,
I would tear between people,
if there was ever a chance to be
duck and weave between
great this was it. I was amoung
mutiple attackers, I felt like
those chosen players, but due
nothing could stop me.
to my farely mediocre perfor-
I even won the player of the
mances that season, I was never
season that year, ahead of a
called up. Following season the
5
club couldn’t get enough players to make a Under
what could have happened if I’d tried harder, if I’d
18s team, so my only other option was to direct-
trained more, If I’d actually done well when it mat-
ly try out for their Premier League team. Where
tered most instead of letting the pressure get to me
during pre season, anyone who intended to do so
like it so often does. I look back on how my Father
could train with the Premier League team. And so
brought me up, on one hand it got me this far in
I trained hard, harder than I had ever done. I was
Football, being self critical of myself was needed
at my fittest, I felt like, at least on a confidence
for me to improve myself. You can always work
level I was back to being as great as I was in Under
towards something with a self aware attitude, but
14s. I was even carving up training against reserve
what happens when you fail, something happens
grade and all age players, people far older than I. I
that you can’t fix or change, when something isn’t
was holding my own. Try outs finally came around,
an ongoing process, its called history. So what good
after almost 2 months of training. I player half of
is it when you’re looking back on a failed fantasy?
one game, and ofcourse at such an important time, I underperformed. I made a mistake maybe once or twice and didn’t do anything to stand out, and thus ended my hopes of being picked.- I later went on to join an All Age team within the club because the Premier League Coach wanted to keep tabs on me. Which would have left a glimmer of hope to being picked up again but he has since left the club. I’ve enjoyed mild success in the last 3 seasons spent in All Age, making the semi finals one season and being awarded player of the season for another. But I’m just comfortable now. I’m only 19, I’m still young, I could easily try out for the Premier League team again, but I’m just busy, too bust for it to be at the forefront of my mind. Football has taken a backseat and I’m kind of okay with that on the surface. Although, sometimes something will remind me of
Facades in
Fantasy Females
T
he problem with the new and yet very im-
we supposed to really start demonstrating realistic characters? This is a problem on all sides of the
strong women with agency, is that some
gender spectrum: the concepts of masculine and
people fixate entirely on the first part
feminine need to be pared down to basics in order to
of this – the word “strong” – and
utilise them correctly. As concepts
take it to mean something very
instead of labels that are rigidly
specific. In fact, it has created a
applied. But it’s complicated and
stereotype in and of itself. One of
people prefer simple.
the biggest problems created by
Sftd by kir-tatHowever, before
fixating on the notion of a Strong
we can properly talk about strong
Woman, is that only one prevail-
characters, let alone women, we
ing definition of the word shines
need to address gender. Gender
through, thus becoming the norm
isn’t binary, but rather a spec-
and therefore what many writers
trum – so it makes senses that, for
adhere to, and many readers come
there to be different expressions of
to expect.
gender at all, that each shade of the gender spectrum embodies differ-
But if we’re picturing a heart-
ent concepts, different aspects and
less assassin with a dark past
personalities. Masculine and femi-
and unrivalled skill with a sword
nine do exist, but they are not nec-
(and in one way this is excellent,
essarily tied to “men” and “wom-
because the dark assassin, the
en” as much as they are tied to the
hooded man, has now become
genders of male and female. This is
the hooded woman), or the savvy
a new truth that requires learning.
and slick urban fantasy private
It needs to filter down and become
detective setting out to save her
part of the social bedrock. Gender
city, putting any Harry Dresdens
is a spectrum, a scale.
who get in her way to shame with her discipline, determination and
Someone very typically female
prowess, or even the dedicated
might present and identify as
priestess, devoted to her goddess
entirely feminine with no mascu-
and participant in a holy war, sure
line identity whatsoever. Consider
of herself and true – where then is
people like this between a nine and
the place for the Sansa Starks, the
a ten on our gender scale. Now
Clary Frays and Tessa Grays and
imagine the scale as a sliding, fluid
the Ineveras and Leesha Papers, if
expression of gender that works
we’re constantly expecting these
both ways. A person identifying
strong women to be – let’s face
as male could very easily consider
it – female incarnations of our rudimentary SFF
themselves a four on the scale (with one being fully
heroes (traditionally and typically male). How are
masculine and male, and ten being fully feminine
9
and female), thereby
Never mind the fact that she is catering to a “most-
expressing himself as
ly” male-appreciated aesthetic. “Mostly” and not
masculine with strong
entirely, because women do enjoy seeing sexier,
aspects of femininity.
badass characters they can aspire to. It is abso-
This is a thing. There
lutely fine for women to appreciate themselves in a
are characters that fit
physical sense, which sometimes might be leather
this expression, only
and a handgun, because it is badass. However, she
we don’t notice, don’t
isn’t essentially speaking for or to women, which is
involve it in our commentary and dialogue. Imag-
a bigger problem.
ine light and dark to visualise “opposed” concepts. There is true dark and full light – and absolutely
It isn’t this leather-clad heroine who creates the
everything between. Like gradients of colour.
problem, but rather those who assume her to be the standard. The norm. This urban fantasy diva with
Let’s simply accept at face value that this is how
her attitude and gun-slinging night-job isn’t the
gender works, and now we can actually discuss
only woman out there, taking on the night.
how men and women are or are not and should and should not be presented in SFF.
Molly Carpenter from Dresden Files ComicIf we’re speaking entirely of urban fantasy as a starting
Tea by Toru-meowOver the course of the next few
point, I’m going to put Molly Carpenter on the
articles, we’re going to look at a range of charac-
table. Here we have a young woman who is abso-
ters, both male and female, and present character
lutely not our familiar gun-toting dark vixen. She is
studies that talk about everything from gender to
badass nevertheless. Whilst there are many prob-
personality, and why these particular characters
lems with how Butcher composes his women on
are not only strong people with agency, but also
the page – never mind how Harry Dresden himself
set the bar for other characters to aspire to. This
approaches and treats women – Molly is one aspect
will include characters from early fantasy, right up
of the Dresden Files that stands strong. She is first
until next Tuesday. The findings will probably show
presented as an accidental villain and realises her
trends, and that will be interesting to explore. For
mistakes. I would like her to feel less guilty over her
now, we’re going to skim the surface of what is to
mistakes, but even in this she has a strong sense of
come, an elongated abstract if you like. The female characters presented in the opening are excellent examples of why setting warrior women as the standard can be problematic. A great number of people imagine leather-clad women with loose dark hair and a black handgun, staring over one shoulder in urban fantasy, and our dark, heartless assassins with troubled pasts in epic fantasy. This is one definition of what strong means.
who she is. She has agency and even though she is
Throne of Glass by FetschRecently I attended an
pulled into matters deeper and more tangled and
event where Sarah J Maas spoke about her work.
she is made for, she remains independent whilst
She raised precisely the point that is central to the
still under the tutelage of Harry. Sometimes, choos-
examination of female characters and what makes
ing to accept helps demonstrates agency, because
them strong. When you immediately think of Dis-
she has that choice. Molly, in many ways, is one of
ney princesses, strong isn’t what comes to mind.
the more important characters in the series.
There are problems with Disney (many, many problems), but in highlighting the negative aspects,
Sansa Stark by rai-mondSliding back to more tradi-
as often happens, people gloss over the points that
tional fantasy, Sansa Stark looks absolutely noth-
shine. In fact, Maas expressed that the whole idea
ing like your typical strong, independent female
for Throne of Glass came from Cinderella; from a
character. However, the fact that she is enamoured
piece of music, a scene, and the question that fol-
with the idea of being a princess – and then Queen
lowed Cinderella’s flight from the palace: What
– and wearing beautiful dresses, living in a palace
if Cinderella was an assassin?
and experiencing a fairy tale life, doesn’t strip her of any strength or reduce her agency. In fact, Sansa
But Maas also said she considered Cinderella
Stark is arguably one of the strongest characters in
strong. And she is. She endures emotional and
fantasy, especially earlier in the series.
physical abuse (Celaena Sardothien and Sansa Stark, anyone?) and remains kind and dignified
Sansa survives. She weathers and
and strong throughout it all.
protects herself with everything
Moreover, she suffers all this
she has at her disposal. She is
and does not become her abus-
placed in precarious situations,
ers. The cycle ends there. She
time and time again, where we
remains open to love. That is
see her agency and freedom
huge.
questioned and threatened.
This highlights perfectly the
Much of her choice is taken
problem with this close exam-
away, but she clings to what
ination and expectation of what
choices she is presented and
female characters should and
weighs the hand she has been dealt. Each time
should not be. They should be anything they want
she adapts and survives and continues to grow as
to be. They should not have to sacrifice being “girlie
a character and a woman. She is young but learns
girls” just to be strong women. There are many dif-
quickly. She makes mistakes, remains naive and
ferent types of strength and varying degrees of how
learns more. She is a teenage girl in a destructive,
this strength can be used. It’s the strangest thing
insidious game of thrones and crowns and she soon
that in the quest to give women more agency and
begins to teach herself and learn the finer aspects
more of a natural and equal place in literature (and
of the game. Her long hair and pretty dresses – and
media) we are somehow still forcing a mould. In re-
her love for these – do not alter her agency or her
ality, what we’re doing is expecting female charac-
strength. Being traditionally female, being a ten on
ters to fulfil the expected roles of men and deciding
the gender scale, does not lessen her.
that achieving this makes them strong.
11
Oliver Twisted by karichristensenIn this same vein,
visible and invisible strength and/or agency. Char-
male characters who do not fulfil traditional male
acters who need to start populating fantasy more
roles are usually used as weak plot devices: ignored,
and more. We’re going to look at characters and
killed off or made into the amusing foppish dan-
discuss what makes them strong, what makes them
dies. This is the same treatment received by many
worthy of notice. Some already have this limelight,
of the more feminine characters. The norm is mas-
but others will invariably have gone unnoticed as
culine is strong; feminine is not. That is changing,
important threads in the tapestry of presenting real
but not fast or widely enough.
and realistic characters.
So, in the subsequent parts of this series, we’re going to take a look at the best examples of these characters, male and female, who slide along the gender scale and who exhibit varying kinds of
By Leo Elijah Cristea
W
hat constitutes “identity”? If I am
a self” (1996, p.85) – a single, essential personality
asked about my identity, I might
tied to an earthly body, which remains constant.
describe myself as a woman, a New
Thinking of identity as static makes it possible to
Yorker, or a feminist. Other people may mention
group people based on characteristics like race,
their ethnic or racial background, politics, sexuality,
class, and gender, whether for demographic or
or religion. Still other people would talk about their
political purposes.
personality traits, emphasizing who they “really are” or their “true selves.” Identity can mean sub-
This model is not really how most people expe-
jectivity (how we think of ourselves), representation
rience identity. The sociologist Erving Goffman
(how different facets of identity are depicted in
concluded that people present themselves different-
culture and media), or self-presentation (how we
ly based on context (where they are) and audience
present ourselves to others). It can refer to our per-
(who they’re with) (1959). Someone hanging out at
sonal identity as an individual, or our social identity
a bar with friends will speak and act differently than
as a member of a group.
they would in a job interview. In fact, research in symbolic interaction shows that we present our-
Online, most research on identity has focused on
selves slightly differently to different people. Identi-
self-presentation (boyd 2010; Wynn & Katz 1997;
ty is flexible and changeable, and people are highly
Papacharissi 2002; Baym 2010).
skilled in varying their self-pres-
Social media like social network
entation appropriately.
sites, blogs, and online personals require users to self-conscious-
Identity is thus socially construct-
ly create virtual depictions of
ed in tandem with the people
themselves. One way of under-
around us. Cultural studies
standing such self-representation
theorists like Stuart Hall (1987)
is the information and materials
and Angela McRobbie (1994)
people choose to show others on a Facebook profile or Twitter stream. But identity is also ex-
Some people carry out more sinister fantasies online than others.
pressed through interacting with
proposed a pluralist subject that was not only socially constructed rather than biologically essential, but also flexible and changeable
others, whether over instant messenger or email.
over time. Terms like “women of color” or “queer”
Since there are fewer identity cues available online
were strategically constructed to encompass many
than face-to-face, every piece of digital information
different facets of modern identity for political
a person provides, from typing speed to nickname
action or affinity politics (Hall 1987; Lister et al.
and email address, can and is used to make infer-
2003). The concept of a multiple self explains why
ences about them.
people vary identity performance based on context: multiplicity is an inherent property of identity rath-
We typically think of identity as something that is
er than somehow dishonest or false (Baym 2010).
singular, fixed, and unchanging throughout a lifetime. This classic liberal humanist subject consists
Another aspect of the social construction of identity
of what Sandy Stone calls a “body unit grounded in
was pioneered by queer theorist Judith Butler, who
14
maintained that popular understandings of gender
Wear are predicated upon the idea that people can
and sexuality were constructed entirely through dis-
improve aspects of their personality and appear-
course and social processes. She argued that gender
ance to correspond with prevailing social norms.
is performative, in that it is produced through millions of individual actions, rather than something
When computer-mediated communication became
that comes naturally to men and women (1990).
common in the mid-1990s, it consisted primarily of
Similarly, anthropologists have long viewed race as
textual conversation that took place through early
a social construct rather than something rooted in
social technologies like Internet Relay Chat (IRC)
the body. The implications of these theories is that
and Multi-User Dungeons (MUDs): people met
the way that “race” or “gender” operates in society,
and talked without seeing photographs or videos
both offline and online, is ideological— in other
of each other. As a result, some scholars theorized
words, to maintain or further a particular balance
that this “disembodied” communication could free
of power (in this case, structural sexism or racism)
society from discrimination based on race, sex,
(Omi & Winant 1993). Despite this, “race” and “gen-
gender, sexuality, or class. They speculated that
der” remain powerful concepts with very real effects
communicating without traditional identity cues
on people’s lives.
might enable people to experiment with different identities and personalities, making it obvious that
An alternate approach to identity construction
categories like gender were social constructions
comes from postmodern theorists, who theorized
(Turkle 1995). More radical theorists posited that
that people construct identities for themselves
cyberspace would liberate people from their bodies,
using mass media and consumer goods. Anthony
blur the lines between human and technology, and
Giddens famously referred to identity as a “project,”
potentially evolve into a higher type of conscious-
something that can be actively worked on (1991).
ness, becoming post-human (Stone 1996). Thus,
According to this perspective, people construct
new media would fundamentally change the way
their identities through the media they consume,
people thought about identity.
the clothes they wear, how they adorn themselves, and even how they transform their bodies through
There are three primary reasons that the idea of the
exercise or plastic surgery. In other words, people
internet as an “identity workshop” did not come
differentiate themselves from their peers by buying
to pass. First, most people did not create radically
and displaying goods that serve as symbolic mark-
different selves, instead opting for relatively sim-
ers which signal something about who they are
ilar online personas (Baym 2010, p.106). Second,
(Woodward 1997). A Chanel bag, a Jay-Z sweat-
discrimination like racism and sexism are not solely
shirt, and a tweed jacket with elbow patches all
based on appearance. Oppression is structural,
mark personal identity. This concept of identity as
meaning it is fundamentally part of society, existing
project is exemplified by the makeover, a trope of
in everything from institutions to speech patterns.
popular culture in which people are actively trans-
Early papers on textual chat frequently observed
formed into “better” versions of themselves. Televi-
sexist speech or derogatory slang, as people com-
sion shows like The Biggest Loser and What Not to
municating through chat rooms or IRC were still
15
people (Herring 1999; Soukup 1999). Even if users couldn’t see who they were talking to, their beliefs remained intact. Third, the move to commercial social software like social network sites, blogs, and media sharing services has brought with it an impetus to adhere to a single, fixed identity. Rather than letting users choose nicknames like “SoccerGuy91,” Facebook asks users to provide a real name like “Jason Smith.” Sites with similar policies claim that this design decision prevents deception and assures safety, but it also benefits their business model. Most commercial sites collect user data and aggregate it with information collected elsewhere, creating sophisticated personal dossiers (Nissenbaum 2010). Other technology companies sell advertising based on demographic information. If people maintain several different profiles on the same site or use obscure nicknames, they are difficult to track and there is no indication that the information they provide is accurate, making it less valuable for marketing purposes. The fantasy of the single, verifiable identity that follows a user from site-to-site is very appealing to advertisers and data-collection companies, and it is becoming possible with technologies like Facebook Connect (Stone 2008). Since the internet became popular in the mid1990s, people have asked whether new media changes identity or the way people express themselves. Certainly it has provided a new set of tools for self-expression, from blogs to tweets. Moreover, sites like Friendster and MySpace made the social construction of identity self-conscious and visible. People know that they must choose what facets of themselves they want to present online, and unlike in face-to-face environments where it is possible
Think similar.
to switch self-presentation strategies quickly, this
of an interested audience, but they also further spe-
must be determined in advance. While there are
cific ideas of what it means to be an accomplished,
currently no tools to manage context collapse, peo-
modern individual—namely, fit and educated.
ple use a variety of creative strategies including obfuscation, multi-
Contemporary internet users can
ple accounts, posting coded
find people to talk to about
messages, and retreating to
virtually any subject. It is
smaller sites for
easier to learn about punk
private conversations.
rock, veganism, transgender issues, libertarianism,
It is clear, however,
environmental activism,
that the internet has not
high fashion, bicycling,
liberated people from the
or any other pastime or
structural oppression of dif-
identity position than ever
ference, and structural sexism,
before. The resources available
racism, heterosexism and so forth
to use to construct, perform, and
are just as prevalent online as they are in
mobilize identity make it possible to try out
face-to-face contexts.
different lifestyles and subjectivities. However, sites like Facebook which emphasize “verifiable” identity
“The fantasy of the internet as disembodied playground is just that, a fantasy.”
and the persistence of online content, facilitated by search engines like Google, make it difficult for people to experiment with subject positions without leaving a permanent record.
At the same time, social me-
This back-and-forth between
dia’s tendency to make identity
concepts of singularity and multi-
construction explicit may have
plicity is likely to remain in sharp
far-ranging effects that are yet
focus, for internet users, technolo-
to be determined. For instance,
gy creators, and internet scholars.
the internet offers a plethora of tools for self-improvement, from exercise and diet trackers to study aids and educational materials. Sites like RunKeeper, SparkPeople, OpenCourseWare and Khan Academy combine a strong focus
privacy boundaries can break easily.
on one’s own progress with support drawn from internet-enabled interpersonal connections. These tools let people explicitly work towards desired identities in front
17
Chapter from: Marwick, A. (2013). “Online Identity.� In Hartley, J., Burgess, J. & Bruns, A. (eds), Companion to New Media Dynamics. Blackwell Companions to Cultural Studies. Malden, MA: Blackwell, pp. 355-364.
W
hat hatmost mostofofus usget gettotosee, see,cosplaycosplay-
“When you’re a fan of
wise, is the part where a costumed fan
comic books and games.
something, cosplay is like the ultimate homage.”
What most of us experience is the ‘product.’ The
The issues are not always bullies, though.
stands before the flash of the camera,
posing as their favorite characters from movies,
end result. But there is a person underneath that costume. That person has a story, that person has
“The vast majority of my friends are cosplayers,”
reasons for putting themselves out there for the
DeLoria explained, and entertaining people through
world to see. And that person likely put in a lot of
your cosplay means “being asked for photos,
work to bring a character to life. Turns out, there is
making passersby smile, watching kids freak out
a whole lot more to cosplay than just what can be
because they’re meeting Batman for real.”
photographed and put into galleries. Of course, as sincere and as earnest as the To be a cosplayer is to be a fan—the cosplay itself
sentiments fueling cosplay are, they still have to
not much different in spirit than writing a fanfiction
put a costume together. First a character must be
or hoarding collectibles of your favorite media.
chosen. Or, perhaps it might be more accurate to
“I don’t think anyone in their right minds would
say that the character chooses you. Folks tend to
hot glue N7 armor to their skin for a Mass Effect
gravitate toward characters that they feel
cosplay or go two days without sleep while sewing
a connection to.
Super Sentai suits if they weren’t a fan of it,” Elizabeth DeLoria, an Australian cosplayer with a
The degree to which a cosplayer might take it upon
fiery attitude explained to me in an interview.
themselves to create a costume and reach “screen accuracy” is staggering. Sometimes, the efforts
Perhaps not surprisingly, there is also an element
require you to go through a crucible of sorts. “There
of escapism to cosplay. A nerdy outcast can find not
is a lot of pressure, I personally feel, in looking
only an outlet for their devotion to something, but
exactly like your character,”
also a strong community that shares a
she explained.
similar passion. Elizabeth as Thor Such was the case with cosplayer Kat Elisabeth, who was “teased pretty badly” growing up because of her
Meeting expectations to adopt
interest in games, anime and sci-fi, she told me on
a character’s essence can be
an online chat. That didn’t stop her from fostering
grueling. Things go wrong
“a love and connection to [characters]” that was
with your sewing
strong enough to want to bring said character
machine, your wigs,
into our world. In the face of such obstacles, every
your props, you
convention can feel like a victory, Kat said.
run out of money,
20
real life gets in the way, you don’t know how to put
“Its hard to accept that you WON’T produce
something together, the paint job went wrong, the
amazing, awestriking work without some cash,
glue didn’t hold, you didn’t lose enough weight—
effort, and time, time time,” Kat said, “What stops
the number of things that can get in the way when
me from cutting myself a break due to my economic
doing cosplay is crazy.
status and mental issues is that I know someone out there has it worse, and is still doing stellar work.
Going the extra mile to cosplay can also
And I will find that sonofabitch and throttle
be expensive, and certainly there
them until I learn their secrets.”
are cosplayers who are willing to shell out as much money
Wearing something is not all there is to a
as it takes to ‘become’ a
cosplay though, and this is where things
character. As respectable
get particularly fascinating. Both Kat and
as that dedication to
DeLoria have taken up extra hobbies to
being accurate is,
supplement their cosplays. In researching
it’s not something
for Avatar cosplays, for example, Kat
DeLoria and Kat
came to take up martial arts such as tai
always have the
chi and kung fu. This allowed her to take
privilege of doing. They
up better poses for pictures, as well as be
have to regularly improvise
able to assume a character more fully.
and sometimes even rely on
Sometimes, this also involves adopting
individual flair for a costume that’s
affectations for skits and acts that one puts on
not exactly a recreation.
whenever they’re interacting with fans. If you cosplay as, say, Commander Shepard, for instance,
“I prefer to not worry about screen accuracy,”
you might like ending conversations with his
DeLoria said, “because it means I can also add a
signature “I should go.”
little bit of artistic license while still keeping it recognizable.”
Elizabeth as Bane
Plus budgeting means having to be creative, which
“When I put on my Bane mask it’s almost
in a way could be seen as a test of how much
impossible for me to not imitate his voice and stride
passion a cosplayer has. When someone figures
around,” DeLoria remarked, “When I’m Mary Jane
out how to use $2 plastic bins instead of foam or
I call everyone ‘tiger.’ It’s often just little things but
wonderflex for a part of a costume, it’s difficult not
if I can get people to laugh or get excited because it
to feel awe at their ingenuity.
feels even a little tiny, itsy bitsy bit real to them, t hat’s a rewarding feeling for me.”
“What stops me from cutting myself a break due to my economic status and mental issues is that I
DeLoria has also taken up dieting and weight-lifting
know someone out there has it worse, and is still
in the past. Sometimes, what you do to look like a
doing stellar work.”
character isn’t healthy. DeLoria recalls going on a ‘very intense’ exercise kick for a Valkyrie cosplay,
21
along with eating habits that left her in pain. “I have
“The effort and experience
a body type that I’m not comfortable doing a lot of cosplays in” DeLoria divulged, “I have big hips, a
in the end is more worth it than looking just like them,”
large bust, I’m not the most physically fit of people.” Given how much of your body can be on display in cosplay, the extent of stress one feels can be great.
The issue is when other people don’t respect a “No amount of working out, creams, lotions, or
cosplayer simply because they put themselves
makeup would leave me satisfied,” Kat recalled,
on display. Sometimes, accusations of doing a
when thinking about her earlier cosplay days. “I had
‘sexy’ cosplay merely for attention rise, and here
poor body image anyways, and an eating disorder
is where the ‘fake geek girl’ stuff pop up—is that
slowly creeping up on me before emerging into full
cosplayer actually clueless about their costume?
static bloom last year that left me crying over my
While unfair, in a twisted sense the insecurities
body after hours in the gym when I should’ve been
make sense: if some of the cosplay community is
doing schoolwork.”
made up of defensive outcasts that have rallied together for the communal love of a
One’s natural body poses more challenges than
piece of media, someone not actually
one might think when it comes to cosplay. Well-
being knowledgeable about that
meaning cosplayers will tell you that it’s not
media might be seen
about looking exactly like a character,
as ‘threatening.’
especially if it’s physically impossible, but rather about having fun and
But as women, the
engaging with the community.
pressures that both DeLoria
Kat as Yoko from Gurren Lagann
and Kat face are tied with the
Still, I’ve occasionally stumbled on
expectation that
darker parts of the community,
a woman’s body
who get angry when someone
is public domain
dares to cosplay as someone
and they have
that’s a different gender, race
a responsibility to
or especially body type. Kat told me
never subject people to
about an early cosplay where she was
anything less than a hyper-
called out for not being the right skin tone,
idealized body. Anything else is
and she’s had to “lighten my skin, cover freckles,
offensive and a blatant disregard for
[and] attempt to color my darkass eyebrows.”
the poor sensibilities of a hyper -entitled viewer.When you look toward ‘sexy’
Those alterations stem from a desire to recreate a
cosplay as a means of empowering yourself, as
character and she doesn’t have a problem doing it.
DeLoria does, things get complicated.
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In a culture that is convinced that a woman can
But as women, the pressures that both DeLoria
‘ask for it’-dressing provocatively as, say, Metal
and Kat face are tied with the expectation that a
Gear Solid’s EVA-can cause people to think they are
woman’s body is public domain and they have a
being invited to flirt, touch or harass a cosplayer.
of ‘WHORE/BITCH/SLUT’ or ‘PUT ON SOME CLOTHES’ while I’m trying to get to my hotel, nor
Elizabeth as EVA
do I ask to be glomped/grabbed/have someone try and remove my top/kissed/pulled at/or anything
“I find it’s a hard balance because I am a very
like that. It just makes me feel worse about myself.
sexual person and I enjoy characters like Ivy and
I can’t look exactly like this pale, really oddly
Black Cat where I get to play around a little bit with
proportioned, yellow-eyed bitch on the screen, so
that, but at the same time I know a lot cosplayers
obviously I’m just here for people to ridicule, no
aren’t like me and I don’t want to perpetuate this
matter how much I like the character.”
idea that if you’re in a ‘sexy’ cosplay, you HAVE to be flirtatious and want to flirt. I like getting into
There are even instances when, after an assault,
character when I cosplay and it’s part of why I
depending on what the cosplay was, a cosplayer
choose the characters I do, but a lot of cosplayers
might be blamed for the incident. “Well, maybe
don’t, so sometimes I worry that while I’m prancing
you shouldn’t have dressed like that” is a literal
around calling everyone ‘sweet-heart’ and blowing
thing someone has said to Kat, and there have also
kisses that I’m making some people think it’s okay
been occurrences where people shut down any
to assume all the other cosplayers at the convention
conversation that brings up an incident of assault.
are going to act the same and be okay with that kind
She’s not discouraged, though—the love for cons
of interaction.”
and cosplay is too great.
Kat has a number of stories of cosplay-community
“People have a right to feel awesome....I try to
gone wrong when it comes to ‘sexy cosplay.’
make my costumes to the best of my ability, and
responsibility to never subject people to anything
really have to work on realizing that I can’t please
less than a hyper-idealized body.
everyone/wont always have the right complexion/ body type, etc [but it’s fine as long as it makes] ME
“I don’t ask for the comments
happy.” “For the most part,” DeLoria clarifies, “we’re a pretty welcoming bunch and watching the uninitiated become one of us over time is something we really enjoy...I firmly believe that if you want to cosplay a character, you should go for it.” And ultimately? Despite the time, dedication and sometimes drama that the cosplay life can create, the camraderie, culture and strength that cosplay gives is worth it.