Upgraded Living - September 2021 by Upgraded Living

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FROM THE EDITOR I am certain you must have taken a long look at the cover, hoping it was April. No “April Fools” here. We were not trying to fool anyone. I am also certain many of you just shook your head, or asked what we were thinking? The truth is we were having fun, felt a bit edgy, and thought it was about time to change things up. Now that you have the magazine, you know the non-joke, our tongue-in-cheek message. On the contrary, it could not be any different as we actually are featuring the area’s finest.

UPGRADED LIVING STAFF AVID KAKEE Owner of Shiny Rags K-VON DOLAND I Rite Good JAYSON CORONOA Key Grip

We are presenting the worst places not to visit, shop, eat, drink, appreciate, and on and on. In the year-long preparations for this issue, we discovered some had difficulty with the double negative. For instance, what would be “the worst thing to say at a wedding.” I cannot print anything that immediately comes to mind. On the flip side, what would be “the worst thing not to say at a wedding.” Whole different connotation, absent of any negativity. The answer would perhaps be, “I do.” Our full intention remains honoring each ‘worst place not to…’ in the most positive fashion. Naming each WPNT (pronounced whipnot) marks a clear difference. No single category was treated with aplomb. We left our prejudices out, made decisions through the eyes of the magazine with no ties or no runners-up. So, place yourself in our shoes. What would you name the Worst Place Not To Order a 20-Year Tawny Port for Dessert? Or Worst Place Not To Order Curbside Take-out. Perhaps, Worst Place Not to Appreciate Philanthropic Ways of Helping the Community Thrive. None made our final cut. The final cut, our cover story, is what we refer to as a deck of cards plus two jokers (those two are not difficult to uncover). The 52 WPNTs are not surprising, controversial, or without question on your part. Since the cover did say “Chico,” we have scattered the magazine with lists of WPNTs from all over our wonderful readership. Now that we are past the harsh cover and its intended result, have at it. And, as always, enjoy! No, the Backpage does not disappoint. How could the Ouija Board miss this? It didn’t. You will discover the “worst places to be” through a list of places I found myself in and would prefer not to have ever been. They range from the ridiculous to the brutal. The stories, each true, should trigger stories from your life which will either equal or supplant mine. Just don’t judge or, on the contrary, sympathize.

BOE VANDERSMAT General Swiss Army Knife

DARREN MICHELS Product Integration & Mobility Strategy SHELLY BRANDON Writer TIM MILHORN Writer

CONTRIBUTORS DOUG LOVE

SWEENEY & MICHEL

Real Estate

Finance

HRiQ

DERM BAR

Human Resources

Beauty

RYAN STEFANELLI

JESSICA WILKERSON

Tacos

Health

For editorial or general magazine inquiries, please contact: Kevin Dolan kevin@upgradedliving.com

Kevin Dolan Editor-in-Chief

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For sales inquiries, please contact: Jason Corona, 530.591.2634 jason@UpgradedLiving.com

CONTENTS | SEPTEMBER 2021 FOOD

POTPOURRI

12 Chef Kevin Garibaldi preaches the importance of good food

28 The top ten songs about September

14 Parkside launches the newest additions to their popular menu 16 The Battle of the Brisket—our third food showdown takes us to the heart of Chico's BBQ scene

18 Magician Kris Bentz wows audiences at his new show in Tres Hombres' Blue Agave Room 20 The Taco Tracker dishes his worst places not to 22 Chef Gary Jones gives us a sneak peek of his new French restaurant, Provencal.

71 The Backpage

HOME 34 Doug Love sets out on California's new Oregon Trail.

FEATURE 43 The Worst of Chico! Discover our choices for the worst places not to. Yes, these are in fact our personal favorites throughout Chico and the rest of Butte County.

COMMUNITY 28 The California Nut Festival is back, and we're going nuts about it! 32 Ridge Eye Institute welcomes Dr. Dylan Franchi to its practice. 56 Vinshonhaler Park dazzles Orland residents and visitors alike. Its origin story is equally moving.

58 Johnny Appleseed Days return, and with them, memories of our area's history. 62 Join us on a walking tour of the newest additions gracing Gold Country. 54 Cool Kid: Nakowa Kelley demonstrates grit, determination, and an incredible work ethic at Crush Italian Restaurant.

62 8

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ON THE COVER: THE WORST OF CHICO DESIGN BY: ERIK BROWN

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WRITTEN BY KEVIN DOLAN | PHOTO BY BEAU VANDERMATE

Taproom Hours THURSDAY: 4-8 PM FRIDAY: 4-8 PM SATURDAY: 11 AM-8 PM SUNDAY: 11 AM-5 PM

88O COUNTY ROAD WW PRINCETON, CA 95970

email: info@farmersbrewing.com phone: 530-982-2016

Cook Good Food Kevin Garibaldi exudes the conviction he willingly wears on his sleeve. His facial expression and vocal tone shine through as a mirror, revealing both his keen sincerity and evident passion. He wants people to know how he “sees things.” Integrity is important, and the words you speak are equal in their weight. Kevin emphasized, “My daddy taught me my word meant something.” However, it was his momma who taught him how to cook. A native of New Orleans, she taught Kevin the difference between ‘creole’ and ‘cajun’ cuisine. Seeing as Kevin’s father is Italian and Creole—and his mom, Creole—his parents’ early influence remains as a harbinger of Kevin’s path to where he is today—owner and operator of both Garibaldi Catering and its companion restaurant, aptly named Garibaldi’s New Orleans Cuisine, featuring of course “Creole & Cajun” food. Food, not surprisingly, “cooked good.” It is Kevin’s philosophy—“Cater to your taste. Don’t serve any bad food. Serve it the way it is supposed to be made.” Not too difficult to understand that his ‘go-to’ dish is “Something that tastes good.” Chef Kevin is somewhat of an aberration, considering that on the way to becoming what he thought he wanted to be, he carefully honed the necessary skills to get 12

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him where he is. As the son of a retired sergeant major, Kevin, one of six children, lived in six different places. So, when he enrolled in Monterey Peninsula College, Kevin felt like he was home. He admits there proved “difficulty going along with the flow,” and he was not ready. Unlike many students who go after jobs ensuring tips, Kevin went straight to the kitchen. Landing at the Sardine Factory for six years, however, was not always comfortable. Rising from pantry man to salads and desserts, on the way to all-around-prep-cook resulted in nothing more than the versatility and stamina to become a polished caterer. Those busy six years—and then two additional years as ‘head cook’ at the Rogue Restaurant, which served continental cuisine—combined with his own momma’s cooking instructions, educated Kevin into a polished chef. It also allowed him to pursue a pair of dreams. Stints in the world of law, and the hustle and bustle of high school education, very well did nothing more than lead Chef Kevin back to his true identity, his philosophy of the kitchen, his integrity, and his consistency. Make it a point to visit him. You'll find him on the corner of Floral and East Ave, at the home of Garibaldi Catering and Garibaldi’s New Orleans Cuisine, where Kevin cooks nothing but good food.

A Fall menu worth falling for

With autumn right around the corner, Parkside Tap House's kitchen has been hard at work, coming up with new menu items perfectly suited to the (hopefully) impending change in weather. These lower temperatures always encourage us to retreat from those lighter summertime dishes in search of something more substantial, and their newest menu items certainly offer exactly that. With three meat-based dishes aimed at satisfying different carnivorous palettes, and one that'll please vegetarians and carnivores alike, these new recipes are the perfect addition to a menu already full of delicious options.

through Sunday, and try these new menu items for yourself. We spent an afternoon tasting everything before the new menu's launch, and we couldn't have been more impressed. Each photo is detailed in order below from top left to bottom right.

Stop by Parkside Tap House Tuesday

3. Sausage Platter — Trio of bratwurst,

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1. Ahi Noodle Salad — Garlic turmeric habanero seared ahi tuna, cold noodles, cucumber cabbage slaw, & soy reduction. 2. Eggplant Parmesan — Breaded eggplant fried and smothered in marinara & béchamel sauces. Packed with mozzarella, goat cheese, and Parmesan. Served with garlic cheese bread.

hot, and Italian sausages. Chimichurri sauce, artichoke dip, hummus, sauerkraut, and naan bread. 4. Lamb Chop — Herb crusted lamb chop, house-made hummus, naan bread, seasonal squash, burnt onion cream, and cotija cheese.

Upcoming Events Not only does Parkside have new menu items, but they have new entertainment launching as well. Check out the upcoming comedy show September 8th, no-cover LIVE DJs on the patio Friday and Saturday nights, and so much more! For more information, head on over to http://events.orderparkside.com

The Battle of

Kinders First Glance: “Damn, that looks good!’ we all said in near unison after opening our gift of a to-go container. A gorgeous gradient of browns met us visually upon opening, and a thin fatty strip that reminds me of those trendy tables with acrylic running through the center. An inviting, billowing aroma filled the air, and we immediately became excited for this month’s showdown. The Experience: As we bit through the soft char of the outside, we were delighted by the texture and taste. This desired neither sauce nor spices, as the slightly salted meat spoke for itself and was not carried by other flavors. The fat, nearly completely rendered away, melts in your mouth. It was rich and decadent, fibers tearing apart at our fingertips as we enjoyed the up-to 14 hours of smoked deliciousness. 16

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The Extra: First off, ask for the potato salad, and you’re welcome in advance. They have a great menu and many side options. The road work allowing them to become more accessible didnt take away from the quaint 4-top tables and umbrellas that allowed us to enjoy on-premise dining. There’s a new space behind the ordering window that you should ask about as well. It's very exciting!

the Brisket

Butte Creek BBQ First Glance: We arrived, shortly after our first visit, to the home of the Porkmallow. Well, we switched the D word to the F word, and said it often. All of us. Out loud. Someone must have said, “put a ring on it” because there was a pronounced smoke outline on this that screamed BBQ. I imagine if Texas had a scented candle, this would be it.

The Extra: To say there was no extra would be both a lie and a fact. We did not have a meal, only the meat, but the business is located inside Fresh Cove, and they have plenty of sides and carryout options. We also got a brief education on the craft of smoking meats. They use their brisket in the pho options available online as well.

The Experience: 22 hours of almondwood smoked brilliance, salty and buttery, full of juiciness and a Snoop Dogg’s worth of smoke, complete this run-on sentence. I could eat this without teeth if it wasn’t for the delectable bark on the outside. My notes on this are brief since we mostly exchanged uncomfortable stares of satisfaction between cursing, but I think you get the point.

Dinner, comedy, and magic with Kris Bentz Playfully condescending dinner magic—it’s how Kris Betnz describes his new magic and comedy show at Tres Hombres’ Blue Agave Room. With two sold-out shows behind him and a third already well on its way to selling out, it’s clear his performance style is exactly what Chico’s been looking for. Kris began practicing magic at 19 to take short breaks from studying during his time at Chico State. As he honed his craft, friends took notice, eventually asking him to perform tricks when they visited bars around Chico. Though hesitant at first, the constant prodding pushed him to become comfortable performing magic for others in public, and the experiences opened the door to what would later become his career. After graduating, Kris moved to San Diego and began working as a bartender. Rather than simply craft drinks, he decided to entertain visitors by mixing in magic tricks and turning their time at the bar into a quick show. He began taking magic more seriously as a career choice, and started practicing street magic, eventually finding himself booked for private gigs by many of the people who watched his performances, along with numerous fairs and festivals. In 2015, Kris took his show to Vegas, moving with his wife, Tina, and newborn son, to become the resident magician for the LINQ’s promenade property at 18

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Caesars’ Entertainment. The success of the show grew and grew until he found himself performing well over 1,000 shows in 2019 on the promenade. Kris and Tina decided to move back to Chico in 2020 after the pandemic hit. They started a flower farm together, as she was a florist, and began to build the business, but Kris couldn’t stay away from magic for long. Determined to return to performing, he reached out to Javier Franco and Mary Colgan at Tres Hombres and pitched his idea for a dinner theater show at their banquet space, The Blue Agave Room. They hammered out the specifics, and the show sold out one short week later. Now approaching his third show at the Blue Agave Room, Kris is hard at work to ensure the show never turns stale. “I’m adding ten minutes of new material to each show.” Kris said, “This way, every sixth show is completely different from the first, and audiences will have the opportunity to see the show again with new material in a short timeframe.” Best of all, each show promises the laughter we all could use these days. Tickets to the show are just $60 each and include a fajita buffet dinner, as well as a small margarita. Each show has a total of 32 seats, and they sell out fast! Visit http://magic.ordertres.com to see upcoming show dates and purchase your tickets online.

WRITTEN BY TACO TRACKER, RYAN STEFANELLI

the worst place not to TACO-BOUT TACOS With the theme of this issue in mind, I felt it only fair to put off my usual taco truck profile for one month and instead provide my take on the worst places not to order my favorite items around town. So, without further ado, the list: Worst Place Not to Order Birria Ramen Tacos El Lider located 2819 Esplanade With the birria craze taking Chico by storm, El Lider is hands down the best place to order birria ramen. Anyone can throw some meat and onions into a cup of ramen, but what El Lider does with it is something truly special. The broth is spicy, but perfectly balanced by the noodles, and the birria basically melts in your mouth. You’re sure to be left wishing there was more in the cup. Worst Place Not to Order a Simple Burrito Gordo Burrito located at 598 E 8th St With ‘burrito’ in their name, one would naturally assume Gordo’s burritos are fantastic, so it’s likely no surprise it’s my favorite place to order a simple burrito. What makes them so great is the fact they are so simple by design. A huge, fluffy flour tortilla filled with perfectly spiced beans, rice, and cheese. What else do you really need in a burrito? If you ask nicely they will splash on some of their flavorful salsa as well. Worst Place Not to Order Shrimp Tacos Tacos El Centenario located at 1114 W. 1st St Undoubtedly, the absolute best place to order shrimp tacos. The corn tortillas are warm and soft, cradling a beautifully 20

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prepared grouping of shrimp, topped with just the right amount of cilantro, onion, cheese, their signature salsa, and a solid slice of fresh avocado really set these apart from most trucks serving ocean bugs. Worst Place Not to Order a Double Decker Fiesta Taco located at 933 Nord Ave The name says it all—get ready for a fiesta in your mouth! This one's for the record books—the Double Decker Taco. Yes, you read that right—an iconic American treat reborn with legit pastor in a crunchy taco shell, wrapped in warm soft flour tortilla with a thin layer of beans separating the two. Lettuce, sour cream, salsa, and cheese finish it off. Pro Taco Tip—ask to sub the beans for creamy nacho cheese. It really takes this wonderful creation to the next level. Also, order two. Trust me. Worst Place Not to Order Queso Birria Tacos with Consommé Tacos Super Tonaya located 671 E. 5th Ave I’m hesitant in naming this one as it may cost me a few friendships. I don’t know how they do it, but what gets handed to you through a small window is nothing short of taco wizardry. Tortillas dipped in the juices of the slow-cooked birria are grilled to perfection with melted cheese and birria folded into a glorious little pocket. A cup of reduced consommé comes with your order. Add some cilantro and onions to it and dredge your birria tacos through it. If you haven’t tried this yet, prepare for fireworks in your mouth and do not wear white.

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Provençal Chef Gary Jones is committed to culinary excellence. It has been the driving force behind a journey that started right here in Chico and boomeranged to Vegas, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and back. He has worked with and alongside four separate Michelin-Star Chefs, including Craig Hopson from Le Cirque in New York and Richard Chen from the Wynn in Las Vegas; helped open a number of notable restaurants including Gitane in San Francisco; regionally managed fine dining and steak house restaurants throughout Southern California; and cooked for a number of A-list celebrities including Elton John, Stevie Nicks, and Willie Nelson. It is fair to say the man lives for the kitchen—even the art on his arms is a constant reminder of the career path he’s chosen. After meeting his wife, Ani, who also happens to be a chef, the two decided it was time to return to Chico and bring the wealth of knowledge earned from those experiences on the road back to the city where his journey began. The convocation of his experiences are being put to work in the opening of his new French restaurant, Provençal, in Downtown Chico. “I wanted to open a French restaurant, because we’ve never really had anything close to a true French restaurant here.” 22

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Chef Gary said, “Provençal will open a new avenue for people to visit Downtown Chico and be introduced to something completely new. At the same time, we’re keeping our options open to allow room to incorporate new items as they become available. We’re keeping our menu ‘ambiguously French’ to allow us to execute dishes that aren’t necessarily traditional.” Availability will play a huge role in the dayto-day program at Provençal. Chef Gary has elected to operate with a living menu rather than the static ones we are normally familiar with in Chico. The menus will change, even daily, based on the availability of ingredients, creating a novel experience with each visit. “If I see morel mushrooms, I want to be able to change the menu to incorporate them.” He said, “As chefs, we often make our decisions based on factors that are only applicable in the moment and can change significantly over time. Having a menu that is meant to span an entire season relies on everything staying the same, which is almost never the case. A living menu allows us to make the best choices for our recipes as they become available, therefore providing the best possible experience to our guests.” On the end of experience, the atmosphere of the restaurant is unlike any other in town.

Dark, moody colors set the tone for an intimate dining environment, juxtaposed with mirrors covering the walls and ceiling. Ornate glass chandeliers hang delicately throughout the restaurant, leading the way to romantic private tables nested inside high-back tufted booths. In fact, there isn’t a single chair in the house, save for the six seats that sidle up to the small bar. Even the two-tops are situated in private booths. With a total of 38 seats, you feel as if you’ve stumbled onto something truly special at Provençal, and one look at the menu, uniquely presented itself, will prove your suspicions. It is, without a doubt, the most thoughtful presentation in town, and it’s only the start of your dining experience. Provençal is a reservation-only dinner experience and can be booked by visiting www.provencalchico.com. Chef Gary plans on adding a Saturday morning French café opening to complement the nearby Saturday Morning Farmers Market, complete with croissants, profiteroles, eclairs, coffee, and other French baked goods. On Sunday, they will serve a four-course full-service brunch with bottomless champagne. It is unquestionably a restaurant we cannot wait to experience for ourselves.

IRA GLASS SEVEN THINGS I’VE LEARNED SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 25

NORTH STATE SYMPHONY

MASTERWORKS 1: THE SOLDIER’S TALE SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 26

CIRQUE MECHANICS

CELEBRATION OF LATINX MUSIC AND CULTURE

IRA GLASS

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2

TAPE FACE

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9

NORTH STATE SYMPHONY

TAYLOR TOMLINSON DEAL WITH IT TOUR

JUPITER STRING QUARTET

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 10

CIRQUE MECHANICS BIRDHOUSE FACTORY FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22

JUPITER STRING QUARTET A CELESTIAL ENSEMBLE SUNDAY, OCTOBER 24

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DAVID SEDARIS

AN EVENING WITH DAVID SEDARIS TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2

NORTH STATE SYMPHONY

MASTERWORKS 2: A LITTLE MAHLER SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6

TAPE FACE

BALLET HISPÁNICO

BALLET HISPÁNICO TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9

POST MODERN JUKEBOX THE GRAND REOPENING TOUR TAYLOR TOMLINSON

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13

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Tickets 530-898-6333 | chicoperformances.com | University Box Ofﬁce 23

It's pasta, it's rice—I guess it's whatever you want it to be! Couscous is a delicious, light grain that can be used in numerous ways that will surely leave your taste buds happy. There are countless recipes that make good use of couscous, suggesting it become a staple of your kitchen pantry. This pasta-style grain can be the base for many great dishes, as it goes well with salads, fish, chicken, and vegetables. Couscous also does a great job complementing most flavors it comes in contact with. In the world of grains, we have many different types of pasta which are used to cover a wide range of recipes and flavors. With over 300, the ceiling for new recipes is almost nonexistent. That being said, couscous manages to stand out, presenting itself as if it belongs in a completely separate category. The light, almost elastic feeling pasta, hints at it being a sibling to rice—but perhaps a distant relative due to its shape. Surprisingly, this is not the case at all. Couscous comes from the hard part of the durum (wheat), not to be confused with a durian, which is a fruit that looks like a porcupine and smells like rotten onions. Couscous is far more appealing. Originally used by the Berbers of Algeria between the 11th and 13th centuries, couscous is no 24

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rookie in the world of pasta. Throughout modern times, couscous has been used worldwide with ingenuity and elaborate recipes unique to each culture. Even still, it is believed couscous has been around for millennia, as the oldest traces were found in graves from the 3rd century BC, though it is unclear how it was used. For some reason it took other cultures longer to appreciate the power it brings to any kitchen. French cuisine, for example, did not integrate couscous until the 20th century, and while they may have been late to the party, they sure made up for it, using the grain often in modern French cuisine. Spicing up a recipe can often be a task in itself, and making something flavorful but also healthy is another mission altogether. Our good friend couscous makes it easier, as it is healthy, delicious, and the perfect binding agent for many meals. Next time, when you're searching for new inspirations and flavors, give couscous a try, as there are hundreds of recipes at your fingertips! One of my favorite meals is stuffed bell peppers with a spicy couscous. There are plenty more out there that are sure to please any palate and help you enjoy all the flavors life has to offer

WRITTEN BY BEAU VANDERMATE

Couscous for you!

This September, Go Nuts at the

2021 California Nut Festival!

Known as the region’s “crunchiest festival,” the California Nut Festival will return on Saturday, September 25 and takes place from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on the historic grounds of the Patrick Ranch Museum in Durham. With a focus on locally grown and produced foods and beverages from the North Valley, tree nuts such as almonds, chestnuts, walnuts, pecans and pistachios take center stage throughout the crowd-pleasing event. Each year, this spirited festival showcases plentiful gourmet food offerings, alwayspopular wine, beer and cider sampling, nut-inspired cooking demonstrations, a wonderful art show featuring talented local artists, and of course live musical entertainment on two outdoor stages. Back by popular demand, there will be a spirited “Nutty Chef Competition” where festival attendees can watch as three local chefs compete on stage in succession for bragging rights and a trophy (that the 26

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winner can keep for a year). Three local chefs will be provided with a number of ingredients such as olive oil, nuts, honey, spices, sauces, beer and wine. To add to the fun, each chef will be able to bring some “secret” or special ingredients of their own to incorporate into their dish. Not only is the culinary event fun to attend, it provides much needed support for the historic Patrick Ranch Museum. To date – and as a direct result of this event – $185,000 has been raised and donated to the Patrick Ranch Museum to preserve and interpret the agricultural history of the Sacramento Valley. Tickets are on sale now via EventBrite, at the Tri Counties Bank location in Durham and inside the Patrick Ranch Museum Gift Shop. A program of the Patrick Ranch Museum, the 2021 California Nut Festival is proudly presented by the Far West Heritage Association and sponsored by California

Olive Ranch, Enloe Medical Center, InterWest Insurance Services, LLC, PG&E, Rush Personnel Services, Tri Counties Bank, Farmers' Circle members, along with other dedicated local businesses and involved media partners. General admission tickets to the California Nut Festival are $30 in advance or $35 the day of the event. While not geared for children, event tickets for children ages 7-12 are $10 and the event is free for children six and under. For more information about the 2021 California Nut Festival, please visit www.CaliforniaNutFestival.com, call 530892-1525 or connect via social media at www.facebook.com/nutfestival. To make the festival a weekend getaway for guests outside of the Chico area, the nearest airport is the Sacramento International Airport (90 minutes away) that offers shuttle services and rental car options. For travel options, visit the Chico Chamber of Commerce at www. ChicoChamber.com (click on Visitor Information/Places to Stay) for numerous local hotel and bed and breakfast accommodations.

September is neither summer nor fall, so it comes as no surprise that the month is met with so many mixed emotions. Musicians often write about the month, and the range of feelings span solemn and lonely, with songs like “Wake me Up When September Ends” by Green Day, to pure joy with songs like “September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire. Truly, this time of transition is received differently by everyone, but luckily there’s music to keep or change our mood, whatever it may be. The following are a few of our favorite songs and lyrics regarding September. We hope you explore them and let the words guide your mood in whatever direction you find appropriate. “September” by Earth Wind & Fire Our hearts were ringing In the key that our souls were singing As we danced in the night Remember How the stars stole the night away

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We walked home together, I was never the same. “September of my Years” by Frank Sinatra One day you turn around, and it's summer Next day you turn around, and it's fall And the springs and the winters of a lifetime Whatever happened to them all As a man who has always had the wandering ways Now I'm reaching back for yesterdays “Late September Nights” by Melissa Etheridge Silence is the steel that pierces and cuts me to the bone In dreams the hand that touches you is mine and mine alone Cruel is the light is the morning shining down on me Hours with the Devil to understand just what you need So I wake in the street and I call out your name

“September in the Rain” by Dinah Washington To every word of love I heard you whisper The raindrops seemed to play A sweet refrain Though spring is here, To me it's still September That September in the rain

“Wake me Up When September Ends” by Green Day Here comes the rain again Falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again Becoming who we are

“September Grass” by James Taylor Oh, the memory is like the sweetest pain. Yeah, I kissed the girl at a football game. I can still smell the sweat and the grass stains.

Regardless of how you’re feeling, there’s a song about September that will either activate or alleviate those emotions. Choose wisely based on what’s right for you at the time.

WRITTEN BY GLORIA HOLSTEIN

September's soul

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Kirsten Schwab, PA Medical Oncology

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surgeries and even worked for the two as an ophthalmic technician. By the time Dr. Franchi was ready to graduate from college, it was clear optometry was the right fit for him. He enrolled in UC Berkeley’s School of Optometry and set out to become an optometrist. “The curriculum at UC Berkeley was really rigorous throughout optometry school.” Dr. Franchi remembered, “It was what I expected, but it was definitely hard work. I really liked my time there—I learned an incredible amount about optometry and met a lot of really wonderful people. I kept in touch with Drs. Barthelow and Rudick while I was in grad school, and they offered me a job at their clinics when I graduated in May. Naturally, I accepted! It was incredible to have the opportunity to work where I started my journey to optometry.” Back at home in Paradise, Dr. Franchi now works for the Ridge Eye Care family, splitting his time between Chico’s North Valley Eye Care, Paradise’s Ridge Eye Institute, and Oroville’s Table Mountain Eye Care. He will begin seeing patients in September and couldn’t be more thrilled about the experience.

Homeward Bound Dr. Dylan Franchi We all have some sense of our ideal career from an early age, though it’s often a passing fancy or something that eventually fades as we grow up, rooted in adventure or heroism. Dr. Dylan Franchi chose the heroism path, knowing from an early age he would someday regard the medical field as home. He had his first experience in the world of medicine as a student at Paradise High School. Tasked with a class project to explore a potential career or volunteer effort, Dylan’s father introduced him to his optometrist and friend, Dr. Robert DiPietro, and the two clicked immediately. “I really liked him right off the bat.” Dr. Franchi said, “He was kind, thoughtful, and was doing something that truly helped people. I also 32

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liked his flexible schedule—he had done well for himself, but he still had the time to be a family man and coach his son’s little league team. As a result, optometry became really attractive to me.” Dr. Franchi continued to work in the optometry field, shadowing Drs. Rudick and Barthelow of Ridge Eye Institute and North Valley Eye Care during his senior year and through his time at Butte College and Chico State, where he majored in cell and molecular biology. His time with the doctors afforded him a better understanding of the complexities of optometry and ophthalmology, respectively. He sat in on a number of Dr. Barthelow’s cataract

Throughout his journey, Dr. Franchi developed a close bond with his mentor, Dr. Rudick. Dr. Franchi said, “Dr. Rudick really introduced me to the world of eye care. I shadowed him in clinics as often as I could during senior year of high school and throughout undergraduate. He took me down to UC Berkeley to join him in a business class talk he was giving. He even brought mein and let me join him and Dr. Barthelow during a diabetic screening clinic in Sacramento. He taught me so much about optometry and what to expect in terms of the quality of life of an optometrist. Every patient encounter I joined him on was a unique learning experience. Now, I get to work here as a doctor alongside him, and I’m excited to give back to my community. Paradise has always been home to me. Everyone here cared so much for me growing up, and I can’t wait to provide that same level of care for all of them now.” If you’re experiencing issues with your vision, are in need of an eye exam, or have an eye-related question, call North Valley Eye Care and schedule an appointment today at (530) 891-1900.

"I have worked with Effie for many years buying and selling properties. Effie is is amazing. She is knowledgeable, responsive, a great negotiator, supportive through emotional steps in buying and selling, and offers great follow through on each step along the way to closing the deal. I would highly recommend Effie to anyone wishing to buy or sell a property. She works extremely hard to provide the best deal and experience for each client." -Kathy Hayes, Chico

Golf Course!! In an exclusive community of fine estates, awaits this captivating residence. Sheltered by majestic trees and situated on over a one-half acre lot, this stunning home offers exquisite detailing throughout. From the updated kitchen with its granite countertops, the 5-burner gas stovetop, dual ovens, trash compactor, soft-close cabinets, pots & pans drawers, and the security system, this home exemplifies quality. The lavish living room and formal dining room have held numerous parties and entertained many friends and families. Guests must have marveled at the rich wood floors while gathered around the crackling of wood in the fireplace, and conversed in the warm ambiance of the spacious family room. You will love the master suite, which provides his and her closets, dual vanity, a bidet, and an oversized Roman tub shower. Here, you will fall in love with the flowing floorplan, well proportioned rooms, indoor laundry, 2 fireplaces, and its brand new AC unit. The yard is exquisite and offers numerous dining patios, an in-ground Gunite pool, sauna, stunning landscaping, a fire pit, RV area, and plenty of space for gardening. This home is being offered for you to create warm memories of your own. The assessor record shows this home as 4 bedrooms, however one of the bedrooms does not have a closet. Bed: 4.0 Bath: 2.5 SqFt: 2,487 Price: $787,000

Bed: 3.0 Bath: 3.0 SqFt: 2,319 Price: $875,000

Tranquility!!! Situated on a 5 acres of enchanted forest, where the eagles soar high, you will discover this magical place. This beautiful home offers towering ceilings, walls of glass windows, and beautiful wood floors. The spacious living room, oversized formal dining room, and the huge kitchen are perfectly designed for entertaining family and friends. The gourmet kitchen, with its center island and its granite countertops, is fully equipped with a six-burner gas stove/grill/wok burner, 2 ovens, microwave, instant hot-water dispenser, veggie sink, wine rack, and Bosch dishwasher. The home offers 2 bedrooms and a bath on the first floor, and on the 2nd floor you will find the master suite with walk-in shower, soaking tub, a spacious game room (which can be used as a 4th bedroom ), a hall bath and an office area. This home is also equipped with a detached art studio unit with a 1/4 bath, owned solar, outdoor shower with hot water, wired for sound system, water softener, water purifier, and has brand new septic tanks with brand new leach lines. The yard is beautiful with its majestic sheltering trees, fruit trees, and a spring that runs through this property (when it's not dry). In the morning, you will breakfast by the pool, enjoying the sound of a waterfall, and at night simply relax and enjoy your unobstructed view of the star speckled sky! Bed: 3.0 Bath: 3.0 SqFt: 2,482 Price: $569,000

Californians My old buddy Bill and his wife Kym are just two in the parade of people I know who have packed it up and moved to Idaho. If somebody I know says, “We’ve decided to move out of California. We’re moving to...” I can finish the sentence for them: “Idaho.” They are moving to the Boise area, buying homes in suburb communities all within a few miles of each other. The community names are familiar to me now: Eagle, Star, Middleton, Caldwell, Nampa… As it so happens, my wife and I loaded up the truck and travel-trailer and headed out to Idaho two weeks ago for her niece’s wedding in the little town of Tetonia, on the eastern edge of Idaho. As we drove through Boise, we saw the boom first-hand as we travelled past miles of new-home subdivisions in various stages of completion and lots of earth-churning in preparation for more construction. “Ugg...,” said my wife. “There’s your California Dollar at work,” I said. As we drove on, my wife said, “It really is beautiful. This part of the state looks a little like the Sacramento Valley.” True, I thought. But I’m a committed Californian. As we rolled through tiny Tetonia, I said to my wife, “Well, I’ll bet the California Dollar hasn’t made it this far. Not much going on here. This is old-style Idaho.” 34

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I texted a selfie-photo of my wife and I to my buddy Tom, who lives in Geyserville, California. “Tetonia, Idaho is beautiful!” I said. Tom texted back, “Just wait for the 9 feet of snow in the winter.” Tom is a committed Californian. At the RV park, an energetic young guy, the new owner of the park as it turns out, after discovering we were from Chico, said, “I just met a guy from Chico a little while ago. He bought a piece of property over here.” He pointed vaguely to the south toward waving trees, creek banks, and big green fields. “It’s some land with a big red barn.” “From Chico?” I said. I thought to myself, “What would land and a barn sell for around here, maybe $300,000? $400,000? “Yeah, Chico, California,” said the young guy. “He got it for 1.2.” “Million?” said my wife and I together. “Yeah,” said the guy. “He snapped it up before anyone else knew it was for sale.” We are here to report that the California Dollar is moving across the west like a wildfire. Doug Love is Sales Manager at Century 21 in Chico. Email dougwlove@gmail.com. Call or text 530-680-0817. See an archive of columns at lovesrealstories.com.

There’s something about

Sherry LandiS

"Sherry has a wealth of knowledge of the area. After viewing a few homes “Sherry together, sheisknows thebest exact and areainwe are She desperately Landis by far the realstyle estate agent Chico. is trying to find, and she capitalizes it. Her upbeat and professional professional, positive, and hason incredible follow through. She helped us attitudenavigate makes our theway stressful process a home funpurchase and through the saleof offinding two homes and the of another—all at thein same time! Sheany never missed awe beat. Sheduring made sure enjoyable. She is quick answering questions have the we understood the process, stayed in step constant contact with us. Even after all process, and outlines in detailand what each entails --- extremely threefor homes closed, she continued to call, and text to make sure important first time home buyers such as email, ourselves! Wejust loved everything was going as planned. We could not have done it without working with Sherry and would happily encourage those looking forher.” a home, to call her immediately!" -Kaelin Daly — Doug anD CoLEttE RobERtS

(530) 514-4855 landis4sale25@gmail.com | landis4sale@aol.com | www.SherryLandis.com

Single Family Detached - Leased Solar. Fantastic location by the greenbelt area! The courtyard greets you with beautiful plants & flowers giving a very warm, welcoming feel!!! This immaculate home has just had a little mini facelift with newer water-proof vinyl flooring, fresh interior paint in some areas, and light design staging! It truly is a show This was the model home and only one owner! There have been many A terrific Michael Galli floor plan updated and remodeled from head to stopper with loadstravertine of storage, open concept living,oversized and gorgeous kitchen metallic infused chocolate porcelain tile! upgrades including tiles, upgraded carpets, granite, toe about a year ago. Stainless steel appliances, granite counters, plush lot, built in desk in media room, special color paint throughout, draperies, location Designer window coverings, architecture, and fixtures!!!This cannot lighting, be beat closeand tointerior shopping, andyard, carpets, decorator exterior painting,schools lush park like landscaped beautifully with slate water fall, flowers galore and redwood sparkling in ground gunite pool, newer 10x10 outdoor shed, wood stove, the freeway! Hurry, this one simply won't last! Bed: 3.0 Bath: 2.5 SqFt: 1,942 Price: $549,000 trees. RV Access on both sides of the house and two master suites make this home a must see! Bed: 4.0 Bath: 4.0 SqFt: 3,166 Price: $429,000

shows truly like a model home. Open floor plan with so many upgrades!

Bed: 4.0 Bath: 3.0 SqFt: 3,675 Price: $665,000

Inventory is Low! Call to schedule a Market Evaluation Today! My homes are selling fast! Call if I can help by listing home today! Consistently a Topyour Producer!

Yikes!

Call or text me

regarding these homes and others

(530) 514-4855

SherryLinnCalbert@gmail.com

CA-DRE lic# 01084946 35

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LICENSE #0680951

Protect your goodies. Insurance & Risk Management Services for: Farm & Business • Home & Auto • Life & Health

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305 N. Culver Ave. (Lambert Insurance Agency)

530.934.3361

Where’s the Yield? Can income investors still realistically “live off their interest and dividends”?

BY RENEE MICHEL, MBA, AND JOE SWEENEY, CFP ®, FINANCIAL ADVISORS AT SWEENEY & MICHEL, LLC

Finding sustainable and reliable sources of income has become a challenge lately. Over the last decade, the landscape has changed dramatically; at one time, you could build a diversified portfolio yielding 4-5% a year. Over the last 10 years, stock, bond, and real estate yields have decreased 30-50%. The idea of “living off the interest” is a tough one when most yields are 3% or less. During these low-income periods, investors who rely on 4% or more in annual income, are put in a position where they need to sell assets (i.e. principal) to meet their needs. How did we get here? When uncertainty is highest, safety is the most expensive. The financial crisis of 2008 required a ton of federal stimulus, driving bond prices up and interest rates down. Things never really got back to normal over the ensuing decade before COVID hit, pushing bond prices higher, and interest rates further downwards. What's the solution? Today’s investors who need income will need to be more flexible regarding their asset allocation: 1. Get comfortable with risk: savings accounts, CDs, and treasury bonds offer between 0-1%. To earn more, you can look towards high dividend stocks, real estate investments, or preferred stock, among other asset classes. As always, volatility is the cost of earning higher rates. 2. Try to maximize your fixed income: nobody wants to hear they should work longer or delay social security, but that may be the best way to protect your income stream down the road. It’s easier to work in your 60’s than your 80’s if you run out of money. 3. Limit investment expenses: commissions and fees can quietly eat up your principal, whether you’re investing in mutual funds or investment properties. Renée Michel, MBA and Joe Sweeney, CFP® | 196 Cohasset Road, Suite 100, Chico CA 95926 (530) 487-1777 | renee@sweeneymichel.com | joe@sweeneymichel.com | www.sweeneymichel.com

Sources: www.irs.gov; www.ssa.gov; www.medicare.gov | Sweeney & Michel, LLC is a Registered Investment Adviser. This brochure is solely for informational purposes. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Sweeney & Michel, LLC and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. Past performance is no guarantee of future returns. Investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital. No advice may be rendered by Sweeney & Michel, LLC unless a client service agreement is in place. 38

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Sports, Go Sports! Our country and our community has a love for watching and playing sports. The love of the game, camaraderie, gettogethers, and everything that comes with athletics itself is very beloved. Even people who don’t follow sports will often take a bit of ownership over the team their community supports. Athletics are a wonderful way to bond and to enjoy life. However, there’s another side to this pastime, a side that puts pressure on athletes as well as everyday folks. Who hasn’t heard the following: “where there’s a will, there’s a way” or “the best don’t rest”? It’s part of our common vernacular to make “the grind” a regular part of our worklife. But from what I understand, the grind is that last push-through when your body is nearly to failure, and your mental toughness pushes into your physical body, using that last bit of adrenaline to jumpstart your performance. It’s on the field in athletics, and in the days of hand-to-hand combat and war, it kept you safe in the throws of battle. The grind isn’t a place to live and rest. And yet, we have expectations for our athletes, students, and ourselves to “grind it out.” When our professional athletes say, “I can’t do it anymore; I’m depleted. My mind needs a break from the push-through and my body needs my mind to run the

JESSICA DARLING WILKERSON, MA, LMFT 104464 LICENSED MARRIAGE & FAMILY THERAPIST EMDR CLINICIAN

show so I don’t get injured.” There are people in this world who shout, “You’re weak!” and “Don’t be lazy!” Then the rest of the world hears it. And young people have growing concern that if they talk about their struggle with worry, despondency, stress, and balancing it all that they will be seen as weak, and young people want the world to see them as capable and mature. Then again, adults, who were once young athletes, remember their push-through and accolades and admonish themselves for losing their drive and vigor without acknowledging that years of grit took a toll on the body and mind. We need self-compassion and periods of rest to go along with a high drive to succeed. Anxiety, depression, high stress, health issues, traumatic experiences—they all play a role in how we walk through our lives. Holding ourselves to these “motivational cliches” hurts a lot more than they help. It is okay to step back, take a breath, examine your goals and how you’re going about reaching them, and then reconfigure your gameplan. You matter. Your mental health matters. If you’re going to enjoy the goal when you reach it, you don’t want to reach it feeling depleted. Where’s the joy in that?

Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Chico, CA. She is an EMDR clinician as well as the owner/operator and clinical supervisor of Inspired Life Counseling. For more information, visit www.jessicawilkerson.com and www.inspiredlifechico.com. Jessica can also be reached via phone at (530) 809-1702

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Now with a customizable cataract surgery you can have adjustable lenses to ensure the highest quality of vision.

U P G R A D E D L I V I N G M AG A Z I N E S E P T E M B E R 2 0 2 1

It was one of those moments—the kind that silences an otherwise unruly conference table and its endless jokes, put downs, and needless banter. Out of nowhere, a voice presented, “How ‘bout we do a worst-place-not-to issue?” It was first answered with silence followed by a chorus of “What?!” The single word queries were met with, “How ‘bout worst place not to eat a burger?” Instantly the ah’s and light bulbs illuminated the room. WPNT (pronounced whipnot) became a thing and took off in every direction. The excitement was palpable. 16 months later, the result is in your hands. Yes, our tongues are firmly in our cheeks as we present the worst places not to be. Tongue in cheek does not always mean tomfoolery, mostly what comes next has been thought out carefully before being verbalized. Rest assured, we thought

this out with not only care but with the awareness of the wonderful community surrounding us. We are thrilled each winner has been ‘named,’ thus lacking any frenetic social media crusades, where patrons see the same flyer taped to bathroom mirrors. Hence, we felt comfortable to utilize the shock value on the cover. Not the worst of anything. Absolutely the worst place not to. The double negative speaks for itself. We cannot help emphasizing how carefully we “named” each. After much debate, we agreed there would be no ties or runners-up and held fast to naming each through the eyes of the magazine, not through our individual eyes and prejudices. We believe we have a legitimate “thing” going on here and, with some trepidation, are anxious to see how the inaugural issue goes. Enjoy, marvel, disagree, share, and however you wish, but please do enjoy. 43

9. WORST PLACE NOT TO

18. WORST PLACE NOT TO

ORDER DESSERT FIRST

BUY THANKSGIVING PIE

Broadway Heights

Helen Grace Homemade

10. WORST PLACE NOT TO

1. WORST PLACE NOT TO DECIDE THAT A DOZEN DONUTS IS A GOOD IDEA Donut Nook 2. WORST PLACE NOT TO HAVE A BOOZY BRUNCH B Street Public House

ORDER A BOTTLE OF WINE

19. WORST PLACE NOT TO

WITH DINNER

BUY A SIX PACK OF WINE

Wine Time

Aisle 12 in Safeway

11. WORST PLACE NOT TO PLAY A DRINKING GAME The Commons 12. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER TAKEOUT

3. WORST PLACE NOT TO

Chang Pheng's Mandarin

HAVE THE BARTENDER’S

Cuisine

SPECIAL Argus Bar + Patio

13. WORST PLACE NOT TO TAKE YOUR KIDS OUT TO

4. WORST PLACE NOT TO

EAT

SHOCK YOUR SYSTEM WITH

Italian Cottage

CAFFEINE Dutch Bros

14. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A BLENDED

5. WORST PLACE NOT TO

MARGARITA WITH SALT

SATISFY YOUR MIDNIGHT

Tres Hombres

MUNCHIES Main Street Pizza

15. WORST PLACE NOT TO ENJOY DINNER ON THE

6. WORST PLACE NOT TO

PATIO

HAVE THAT 5:00 PM DRINK

Red Tavern

Crush

16. WORST PLACE NOT TO

7. WORST PLACE NOT TO

ORDER SASHIMI

ORDER A BEER FLIGHT

Big Tuna

Secret Trail

17. WORST PLACE NOT TO

8. WORST PLACE NOT TO

BUY “ORGANIC”

ENJOY A COLD BEER ON THE

S&S Organic Produce

PATIO

& Natural Foods

The Allies Pub

Pastries

20. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A BLOODY MARY Joe's Bar and Grill 21. WORST PLACE NOT TO MEET A BEST FRIEND FOR COFFEE Bidwell Perk 22. WORST PLACE NOT TO ENJOY A SLICE OF PIZZA Mulberry Station Brewing Company 23. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER FROM A WINDOW Crazy Taco 24. WORST PLACE NOT TO WATCH THE CHEF(S) AT WORK Ojiya Japanese Steakhouse & Sushi Bar 25. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A FROSTY TREAT Shubert's Ice Cream & Candy 26. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER CALAMARI Sicilian Cafe 27. WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER SMALL PLATES Basque Norte

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#18

#23

@donutnoo

k1977

@argusbar

#11

@thecommonschico

pu @theallies

@helengrace

homemade

ylo @danieljta

pastries

#21

#25

@bidwellperk

@clairefaction

#14

#22

#26

@ ch i c o

crush

@tresh

@mulb

ombresc

hico

err ybrew

@samm

ytea311

ing

36. WORST PLACE NOT TO

45. WORST PLACE NOT TO

PLAY POOL

RUN INTO YOUR COLLEGE

The Oasis

PROFESSOR

37. WORST PLACE NOT TO

Upper Crust

WATCH A COMEDY SHOW

46. WORST PLACE NOT TO

LIVE

PEOPLE WATCH

Bella’s Sports Bar & Grill

Windows at Tres Hombres

PIECE OF JEWELRY

38. WORST PLACE NOT TO

47. WORST PLACE NOT TO

Kirk's Jewelry

ENJOY THE OUTDOORS

LET YOUR KIDS PLAY

Chico Tree Farm/Mendocino

Caper Acres

28. WORST PLACE NOT TO TREAT YOURSELF TO A NEW

29. WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND FUN SOCKS Bird-in-hand 30. WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY SANDALS Birkenstocks 31. WORST PLACE NOT TO GET A MASSAGE Creating A Sustainable You 32. WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY TRINKETS FOR YOUR HOME Rustic Nest 33. WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY ARTWORKS FOR YOUR WALLS Chico Paper Company 34. WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY YOURSELF A NEW BIKE Campus Bicycles 35. WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND A HUMOROUS GIFT Tomfoolery

National Forest Seed Farm

48. WORST PLACE NOT TO

39. WORST PLACE NOT TO

MAKE AN APPEARANCE ON

BRING YOUR DOG OUT TO

A FRIDAY NIGHT

EAT WITH YOU

Parkside Tap House

49. WORST PLACE NOT TO

40. WORST PLACE NOT

DONATE YOUR TIME

TO FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NOT

PASSAGES

SWANK Any MONCA Opening 41. WORST PLACE NOT TO GO WHILE VISITING Sierra Nevada Brewery 42. WORST PLACE NOT TO SWEAT OUT YOUR DEMONS The Confessional at St. Johns

50. WORST PLACE NOT TO PLAY BINGO Eagles 51. WORST PLACE NOT TO SING KARAOKE Studio Inn Lounge 52. WORST PLACE NOT TO ACCIDENTALLY PICK UP A

43. WORST PLACE NOT TO

COPY OF UPGRADED LIVING

SHOP FOR A NEW READ

Big Al’s

The Bookstore

53. WORST PLACE NOT TO

44. WORST PLACE NOT

SEE A LIVE PERFORMANCE

TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN

Chico Theater Company

DURING HALLOWEEN Heritage Oaks Neighborhood

54. WORST PLACE NOT TO MAKE PART OF YOUR WEEKLY ROUTINE Saturday Farmers Market

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#29

#3 4

#15

#46

@birdinha

ndchico

icy @campusb

@parkside

cles

taphouse

na @christyan

mae

#32

#35

#41

#48

@therusticnest

@kimberjanine

@sierranevadachico

@alohaitzkiana

#33

#37

#45

#26

@chico

p a p e rc o

@bella

@uppe

mpany

s_sport

s_pub

rc r u s t ch

@theco

ico

ffeejesu

SHOPPING WORST PLACE NOT TO GET LOST IN THE PAST Eighth & Main Antiques WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY YOUR NEXT NEW CAR Courtesy Auto Center WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY PET FOOD AND SUPPLIES Northern Star Mills WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR MEN’S CLOTHING Upper Park Clothing & Provisions WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR WOMEN’S CLOTHING 5th Street Clothing Company WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR YOUNG WOMEN’S CLOTHING For Elyse WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR SHOES Heel & Sole Shoes WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND EYEWEAR Table Mountain Eye Care WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT IF YOU'RE LOOKING TO GET IN SHAPE Nutrishop Chico WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR VINYL Melody Records WORST PLACE NOT TO SPICE UP YOUR LOVE LIFE Playtime For You

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SERVICES WORST PLACE NOT TO HAVE YOUR CAR REPAIRED Boradori Automotive WORST PLACE NOT TO HAVE YOUR CAR DETAILED Top Tier Detailing WORST PLACE NOT TO HAVE BODY WORK DONE Concours Elite WORST PLACE NOT TO SATISFY YOUR BANKING NEEDS Golden Valley Bank WORST PLACE NOT TO HAVE YOUR HAIRS BARBERED Liberty Barbershop WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR BEAUTY SUPPLIES Laura’s Wig WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR CUTS OF MEAT Chico Locker & Sausage WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR CAR WASHED Scrubbs WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR PETS GROOMED All Cats & Dogs WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR COMPUTER REPAIRED Chico Computer Clinic

FOOD & DRINK WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT FOR AN ALTERNATIVE CRUST PIZZA Woodstocks Pizza WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY AN ACAI BOWL OM Foods WORST PLACE NOT TO SCHMEAR A BAGEL? Brooklyn Bridge Bagel Works WORST PLACE NOT TO BUY A LOAF OF BREAD AND SO MUCH MORE Country Morning Bakery WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A SIDE OF CHICKEN WINGS Bella's Sports Pub WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER BREAKFAST Morning Thunder WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER EGGS BENEDICT Ethan’s Eatery WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER PANCAKES Sin of Cortez WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER BIRRIA Mi Jalisco WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER PASTOR Tacos Super Tonaya Taco Truck WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A BREAKFAST BURRITO Gordo Burrito

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FOOD & DRINK WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND CHEAP EATS Rent it: Taco Bell Buy it: La Cocina Economica WORST PLACE NOT TO EXPLORE THE CHEESE SELECTION Wagon Wheel Market in Oroville WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER A SHRIMP COCKTAIL Mariscos La Costa Mexican Seafood Grill WORST PLACE NOT TO ASK TO LICK THE BOWL Joy Lyn’s in Paradise WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER CLAM CHOWDER Pelican’s Roost WORST PLACE NOT TO FILL THE VOID WITH NEWLY BAKED COOKIES The Cookie Shoppe WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT FOR A UNIQUE DATE NIGHT Big Hot Crab WORST PLACE NOT TO DELIGHT IN DELI SIDES Spiteri's Deli WORST PLACE NOT TO SAMPLE ALL BUTTE COUNTY HAS TO OFFER Sierra Oro Farm Trail WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER FROYO Gelayo WORST PLACE NOT TO ORDER INDIAN Priya Indian Cuisine 51

THE LITTLES WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT TO SNEAK IN VEGETABLES FOR THE KIDS Live Life Juice Co WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT FOR CHILDCARE Super Luper Kids WORST PLACE NOT TO ENROLL IN AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAMS Boys & Girls Clubs of the North Valley WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT FOR KIDS CLOTHING Dot Kids in Oroville WORST PLACE NOT TO LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND YOU Gateway Science Museum WORST PLACE NOT TO EXPLORE THE UNIVERSE (INDOORS) Chico State Planetarium WORST PLACE NOT TO EXPLORE THE UNIVERSE (OUTDOORS) Chico Community Observatory WORST PLACE NOT TO EXPLORE FOR FREE Llano Seco Wildlife Viewing Area WORST PLACE NOT TO LEARN ABOUT ANIMALS Chico Creek Nature Center WORST PLACE NOT TO WORK OFF EXCESS ENERGY Rare Air Trampoline Park

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HOME & GARDEN WORST PLACE NOT TO OBTAIN LANDSCAPING SUPPLIES & ADVICE Sutherland Landscape Center WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND THE RIGHT OUTDOOR PLANT Déjà Vu in Paradise WORST PLACE NOT TO FIND THE PERFECT INDOOR PLANT Magnolia Downtown WORST PLACE NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND ACTUALLY HAVE THEM ANSWERED Collier’s Hardware WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR YOUR KITCHEN The Galley WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR CARPETS CLEANED Everclean WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR LIGHTING Northern Lighting and Accents WORST PLACE NOT TO SHOP FOR YOUR NEW SMOKER Hudson's Appliance Center WORST PLACE NOT TO GET YOUR EXPRESSION ON A SIGN Bless Your Heart Mercantile WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT FOR VEGETABLES AND WALK OUT WITH THREE CASES OF TOILET PAPER, A HOME ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM AND A SNOW JACKET. Costco 53

PHILANTHROPY

ACTIVITIES

WORST PLACE NOT TO CONSIDER

WORST PLACE NOT TO PLAY BOCCE BALL

EXPANDING YOUR FAMILY

Purple Line Winery

Butte Humane Society WORST PLACE NOT TO BE AWARE OF THEIR MYRIAD CONTRIBUTIONS CHAT - Housing Improvement Program WORST PLACE NOT TO HONOR FOR THE REMARKABLE SUPPORT OF ALL IN NEED North Valley Community Foundation WORST PLACE NOT TO DONATE YOUR TIME TO SERVE OTHERS Torres Shelter WORST PLACE NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERYTHING YOUR KIDS DIDN’T KNOW THEY NEEDED Boys and Girls Club of the North Valley

ENTERTAINMENT

WORST PLACE NOT TO TEE IT UP Bidwell Golf Course WORST PLACE NOT TO HIKE Feather Falls WORST PLACE NOT TO GO SWIMMING The swimming holes at the Flumes WORST PLACE NOT TO TAKE A SCENIC SHORT WALK Rattlesnake Loop on the Brad Freeman Trail in Oroville. (Don’t let the name scare you) WORST PLACE NOT TO GO FOR A BIKE RIDE Lower Park 5-Mile Loop WORST PLACE NOT TO STOP ON A MOTORCYCLE RIDE The Empire Club

WORST PLACE NOT TO

LISTEN TO LIVE MUSIC

ENJOY WATERSPORTS

Union Fork Patio

Forebay

WORST PLACE NOT TO BROWSE ART

WORST PLACE NOT TO THROW SOME-

Janet Turner Museum

THING OTHER THAN A BALL Hatchet House

WORST PLACE NOT TO STEP ON TOES FOR YOUR FIRST TIME Downtown Dance WORST PLACE NOT TO GET LOST Chico Escape Rooms WORST PLACE NOT TO BE AMAZED Blue Agave Room with Kris Bentz 54

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WORST PLACE NOT TO CAST A LINE Thermalito Forebay WORST PLACE NOT TO VISIT TO RECOVER FROM A LONG DAY OF ACTIVITIES Pure Hydration IV Spa

Chico residents are familiar with the parks the town has to offer, such as Chico landmarks, Caper Acres or Wildwood, that make use of the natural terrain of Bidwell Park. However you want to cut it, Chico has some amazing recreational sites that are perfect for family days or just to catch a breath of fresh air. While these parks are fantastic, it's also important to highlight our neighboring town, Orland, and the sites they offer. Vinsonhaler Park, a hidden gem located next to Orland High School, has been active for over 100 years. Like most things in life, the park had a non-traditional start but quickly became the town's favorite spot to relax and hangout. Vinsonhaler Park was started by Frederick Cornelius Vinsonhaler, an activist and local city council member. He was constantly searching for ways to involve the residents and ultimately uplift the town into more of a community where people lived untroubled and free. Growing up, Fred lived a modest life and did not have many valuables. However, at the end of the day, he was content due to his vision of becoming an educated collegiate man. Growing up not having much in the rural land of Kansas, Fred sold most of his possessions to pay 56

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for school, including his only means of transportation and a horse his father gifted him. With little to his name, a shining light came to his aid. Fred’s uncle Dick Elson saw his great potential and hated to see his future possibly wasted. Dick was a well-maintained gentleman who had a decent amount of money for the time and decided to guide Fred through his college experience. Fred would go on to study at Highland Park College of Pharmacy in Des Moines, Iowa and graduated in the summer of 1900. While on his adventure, he met his future wife, Ethel Etta Hoskin, and the two immediately fell in love, marrying in October of 1902 before having a couple children. Years later, in 1909, Fred moved his family west to the small town of Orland and enjoyed his experience working for Birch Drug Company. Fred desired more—he wanted to make a difference and give the people of Orland a place where they could come together and rejoice. It only made sense for Fred to join the Orland City Council, as he would have some say on how the town would delegate its time and resources. Fred Vinsonhaler suggested a park, one

WRITTEN BY BEAU VANDERMATE

A Recreational Treasure

that featured giant trees, a swimming pool, and a playground for children to enjoy. At first, the idea was shot down by the Town of Orland, as the residents felt their money could be better spent on something more productive. In the glimpse of defeat, Fred was saddened by the reality of not being able to accomplish something he felt quite passionate about. He dug up lost funds through the state’s WPA (Works Progress Administration) program, opening new perspectives which gave hope to Vinsonhaler that his vision could actually come true. The program was soon approved, and the dream of creating a park was quickly underway. The entire Town of Orland came around with excitement to see what the recreation area would actually turn into. The WPA program was not only saving Orland money, but it also provided much needed jobs to many people living in the area. With the construction of the swimming pool, paths going in-and-out of the majestic trees, along with a new playground, there was plenty of work to be done. It was at this point where Fred saw there was something so special about a community discovering what it cares about and knew the most important thing were the people within. It was a dream come true, a park where people could meet and enjoy one another's presence without the bombardment of everyday life. The park was completed around 1920. Fred would go on to create V&S Pharmacy, after purchasing an older pharmacy from its previous owner, Ferris Snow. He went on for many years living a happy life and constantly doing things for the community until tragedy struck

in December of 1943, when Fred had a massive heart attack while working at his pharmacy, ultimately ending his life. The City of Orland was so distraught and saddened by the news they decided to rename the park in his memory. The previous name, Orland Municipal Playground, was soon changed to Vinsonhaler Park, commemorating and honoring the man who did so much for the community. Since Fred’s time, the park has evolved in many ways. For starters, the pool has been renovated into an infinity pool where the water greets you at the top. Bihler Field has been added on, where many local baseball teams now play their games. The horseshoe pit is soon to be changed into a pickle ball court—another fun feature adding to the wide range of activities the recreational site has to offer. If you feel like getting a little bit of exercise, there is even a disc golf course that flows in-and-out of the captivating trees that were planted many years before. The disc golf course features nine holes with varying distances. At the tee off for each hole, you are greeted with a board that outlines what the course has in store for you. It’s a fun experience the whole family can enjoy. For those looking for competition, Vinsonhaler Park also features a pair of tennis courts that are open for the public to enjoy. At the end of the day, whether you are interested in taking a walk, getting some casual exercise, or even sitting down for a nice picnic, Vinsonhaler Park will have a spot that’s perfect for you. We highly encourage you to get out and experience it for yourself.

How 'bout them apples

The Chamber of Commerce’s Johnny Appleseed Days is an historical event involving the entire community. The 133 year history is rich with legend and myth, surrounding both the earliest beginnings of the fair as well as its namesake. As the legend goes, in the inaugural year, a

feisty group of Ladies of the Temperance Society took over the lone local saloon, rolled the building across the street on logs, renamed it “Community Hall” and went on to host the very first “harvest” festival on this site. Over the years, the event turned into what could be called the County Fair and the community fought hard to make it official. Due to the lack of access to the ridge, they ultimately lost out to Gridley. As for the namesake, it too is rich in a mixture of history turned myth. Johnny Appleseed, known far and wide as the larger-than-life figure, was actually born John Chapman on September 26, 1774. Although the legendary character of “Johnny Appleseed” is known chiefly through fiction, John Chapman was a genuine and dedicated professional nurseryman. He is best known for helping prepare the way for 19th-century pioneers by supplying apple-tree nursery stock. He sold or gave away thousands of seedlings to pioneers, whose acres of productive apple orchards became a living memorial to Chapman’s missionary zeal. Paradise’s Johnny Appleseed Days also serves as a living celebration of John Chapman, a long lost historical character. The festival itself consists of the gathering of Northstate residents and the sharing of

WRITTEN BY KEVIN DOLAN

The Paradise Chamber of Commerce is hosting Johnny Applesead Days on October 2nd and 3rd, marking this event as the oldest harvest festival in California. Understandably, it all began with the apples. If they could tell their story, it would consist of the sunshine that smiled upon them, the winds that whispered to them, the birds that sang around them, the storms that visited, and the motherly tree that held and fed them until their petals unfolded. The first was held in 1888, the “Fair” as it was known then. The welcoming community, like the fruit, wanted to tell their story. It would consist of genuine love and gratitude for the ever present and protective trees, the elevation with its rewards of cooler temps and the guarantee of four seasons, and the core of a community spirit with the courage and compassion to survive. The 2021 fall festival will celebrate Paradise's community spirit, along with the coveted orchard heritage, with apple pie and ice cream. It anticipates a crowd of 5,000 over two days.

goods and services from local businesses. The showcase piece shines a bright light on the Paradise Ridge Chamber of commerce, its members, and local residents who join together to prepare Do-it-Yourself apple pie kits with fresh apples from Noble Orchards and the super-secret Paradise Apple Pie Spice Mix. The beautifully packaged annual “Pie Kit” also includes a collectible tea towel printed with the 2021 logo. Not surprisingly, these were a sell-out in 2019! The town of Paradise cheerfully hosts artisans from all over the state and beyond as they offer a vast array of handicrafts. The ever-popular children's area will feature face painting and nostalgic games. Johnny Appleseed himself will be in attendance with fruit, stories, and a modern day glimpse of a real American icon. The Gazebo Stage in Billie Park, will feature hometown performances, who will surely entertain throughout the event. Over a 20-year span, 1,000 apple pies would be baked for slice and pie distribution. Due to the loss of multiple commercial ovens, the pies will be baked at Save Mart Supermarket who also kept the tradition of using apples from yet another local legend, Noble Orchards. 133 years later, it is still easy to hear the apples tell their story of sunshine, whispers, and motherly love. Through thick and thin,it is evident the community held fast to its love and gratitude, the aura of elevation, and their spirit of courage and compassion. The entire ridge is excited to once again host this magical event. Surely a can’t-miss time for all ages and the entire Northstate family. The event is enjoyed by scores of attendees each year, many of whom make Johnny Appleseed Days an annual family occasion. So, mark your calendars for Saturday, October 2nd from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday, October 3rd from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Terry Ashe Park 6626 Skyway. With a little more than a month to go, there are still booths available for you to become a part of the weekend festivities. For more information contact the Paradise Ridge Chamber of Commerce at 530.877.9356 or email info@paradisechamber.com

—CALIFORNIA— The Worst Place Not To Stay Up To Date On Employment Laws California has always been well known for having the most strict employment laws in the country, and 2020 was no exception. Retaliation claims, sexual harassment claims, and wage & hour violations increased dramatically over the past year, and employers who are already suffering from the pandemic are getting hit extra hard. Employees aren’t only leaving their jobs for unemployment benefits, but they are getting inundated with ads encouraging them to file employment law claims. Protecting your business and taking preventative measures against labor law violations is always the best option financially. If you’re operating in California especially, you must stay in the know on wage & hour laws because they change constantly, and just one violation could impact an employer detrimentally. Being a reputable employer not only protects you from costly litigation, but it attracts quality employees in a time where they are needed the most. The hiring industry has changed rapidly, and the tables have been turned on business owners throughout the past few years. There’s a multitude of benefits for business owners to cover their liability in the workplace, and investing in the future of your business is just as important, if not more important than what you’re doing today. If there’s any place in the country not to be negligent in terms of labor law, California is #1. Know what you know, what you don’t know, and who knows what you don’t know. Call HRiq. Shelby Chase is the owner/operator of HRIQ, a boutique HR provider in Chico. She can be reached at SHELBY@UPYOURHRIQ.COM WWW.UPYOURHRIQ.COM 530.200.2663

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your next favorite sweater Downtown Chico

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Oroville old and new: Part new Last month, we shared the rich history well preserved by the community of Oroville and rejuvenated through a variety of special individuals and groups who are pushing the city to new boundaries of delight and exploration. In these pages, we will continue to invite you to find something new in the gorgeous landscape that surrounds us.

for the site were completed by March of 2008. The large tiled Wall of Honor was erected in 2017 along with a river overlook area complete with path and fencing. Additions will continue to be made, including a number of statues, benches, and shade structures, to name a few. Come by and pay tribute to our nation’s heroes

Let us continue our discussion by reviewing some of the newer installations of food, art, and culture—hoping that you will take the time to appreciate a world around you slightly larger than your typical radius of travel. On to the exciting, yet undiscovered, in the trip we hope you’re soon to take.

Oroville Centennial Plaza has complemented the beauty of the greenway since 2007. Just a little further North on Arlin Memorial Drive, the Centennial Plaza sits atop the levee overlooking the Feather River. Here, you’ll find a scenic retreat with seating and trellis shading. The area also boasts local art and stunning greenery, as well as stairway access to the levy.

Veterans Memorial Park rests where Arlin Memorial Drive ends at Montgomery Street. Its committee had been formed in 2002, and the purchases of all properties 62

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Purple Line Urban Winery has been a destination since 2013. It is a combination

of tasting room; entertainment venue complete with bocce ball, large gazebo for live music; and on-site eatery with The Vibe Grill and Pub, making it a great place to complete any day of exploring. Truly an escape, this is a modern retreat that feels nothing like a near-freeway pull-off. Brushstrokes Art Gallery is home to the Artists of Rivertown and rests just in front of the iconic clock on Montgomery between Huntoon and Myers. While a walk is filled with vibrant or dull colors that match the season, Brushstrokes has been the place to travel to and explore the area’s talent and creativity since 2016. Use their space for as little as $5 or attend one of their watercolor or acrylic classes. The Union, located in the old Miner’s Alley, fills Downtown Oroville with sounds of music and jubilation as great times echo from the corner of Montgomery and Myers streets. Opened in October of 2020, Union presented itself as a much needed driver for downtown discovery, with their modern menu and massive corner patio. Check out their upcoming lineup of live entertainment and their current menu on unionfork.com Coyote Cantina & Cocina, on the opposite corner of Union, builds on a newly thriving downtown. Coyote is a destination for flavor and striking architecture. The historic corner buildings, together as one, offer timeless brick as well as a steel-accented courtyard. Take a stroll downtown for Taco Tuesday and enjoy handcrafted artisan cocktails. Unicone is the perfect new addition to the walking tour, opening just this July. Add toppings to one of their 12 ice creams or sherbets with their magic slab, or try a mini cheesecake or other fresh baked treats. Stare down at a frozen delight rather than your phone, and take your family to enjoy beautiful Downtown Oroville’s newest and most exciting offerings. A short drive leads to a wonderfully diverse and friendly community. The rich history brought back to life and places well-captured in time are waiting for you in your next visit to Oroville.

THESE FLOWERS HAVE A LOT OF FIGHT IN THEM. The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s® is full of flowers, each carried by someone committed to ending this disease. Because like flowers, our participants don’t stop when something’s in their way. They keep raising funds and awareness for a breakthrough in the fight against Alzheimer’s and all other dementia. It’s time to add your flower to the fight.

Join us at alz.org/walk

Walk to End Alzheimer’s - Chico

Walk to End Alzheimer’s Sycamore Field in Bidwell Park Chico Sycamore Field in Bidwell Park

2021 NATIONAL PRESENTING SPONSORS

October 9, 2021 | 8:30 a.m.

October 9, 2021 | 8:30 a.m. PROUD LOCAL PARTNER

The Caregiver Resource Center encourages all caregivers to support the Walk. 64

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WRITTEN BY SHELLY BRANDON

COOL KID nakowa kelley By all accounts, Nakowa Kelley would be considered an everyday ordinary teenager. Originally from Paradise, he currently is a 15-year-old sophomore attending Chico High School and has been looking forward to returning to what might be described as a ‘normal’ inperson school year. Nakowa is especially delighted about the prospect of an actual P.E. class, as well as the opportunity to spend time with his friends. Yes, in many ways, he is a normal teenager who likes to ride his bike around town and play video games, particularly the open world video game The Crew. On Sundays, Nakowa attends the Community Church and devotes the rest of the day to spending quality time with his family. What begins to separate Nakowa from other teenagers like him is the fact he has been a member of the Boys & Girls Club of the North Valley since he was 11 years-old. Like his enthusiasm for physical education class, he takes part in the various sports programs available in the Club, such as: flag football, basketball, and, at times, even soccer. Throughout his time at the center, Nakowa has shined by taking full advantage of the different camps and varied job experiences offered to the Club members. The Club features an “after-school program,” that according to Nakowa’s parents, “ensures the kids come home excited and willing to share about how they are learning so much.” They fully noted the interaction between the kids adds more than they can put into 66

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words. Nakowa is obviously one of those excited and willing kids. Emylee Krupa, site director at the Chico Teen Center, points out that each opportunity required Nakowa to be interviewed, thus opening an array of new possibilities and ideas. She says, “Nakowa has presented at multiple events over the last year, sharing his personal experiences to different crowds.” The confidence each of these encounters built in Nakowa enabled him to impress the staff of Crush Italian Restaurant, resulting in his first job working there as a dishwasher. He’s been with Crush for a few months now and says, “It was hard at first, but now it’s pretty easy. I like that I can have fun while working there, and it’s not super strict. Everybody is kind of chill.” Nakowa’s hard work and reliability have not gone unnoticed, vaulting him right into a promotion at the restaurant from dishwasher to table busser. Getting out of the kitchen and onto the restaurant’s floor has been special to him. We celebrate Nakowa and wish him the best as he makes his way through high school and beyond. We get the feeling he will very well soon replace clearing plates from the table with delivering those fresh from the kitchen, as he has a knack of climbing upwards. We also ‘shout-out’ to both Crush and the Boys & Girls Club for their partnership of lifting kids to higher ground.

INVESTING IN YOUR FAMILY’S FINANCIAL FUTURE

Do you believe you deserve to be heard? We believe in listening to you and understanding your needs before making recommendations. Do you want financial advice and services specific to your needs? We understand. You want knowledgeable, clear advice and reliable service for a straightforward fee that reflects your vision and goals. Do you feel your financial advisor places you first? We realize it’s our privilege to help you work toward your dream of financial freedom. We’re honored to help you pursue your family’s financial future. We want to be your financial advisor. Please call for more information.

(530) 891-1133 main | (800) 472-3867 toll-free 901 Bruce Road, Suite 280 | Chico, California 95928 Stifel, Nicolaus & Company, Incorporated Member SIPC & NYSE | www.stifel.com

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By Kevin Dolan

The one thing I know for certain is the worst place not to be was the rear desk in creative writing class on the first day of senior year. The reason is the rear desk to the left of me was vacant until this beautiful girl walked in late to occupy it. I have been married 46 years to that still-beautiful girl. However, that is not what has been spinning in my mind since we began this whole ‘worst place not to’ thing. No, my mind kept replaying the actual worst places to be. Yes, all were memories: painful memories, embarrassing memories, and laugh-out-loud, milk runningthrough-your-nose kind of memories. I narrowed them down to four such worst places to be: Dining Room Table, Thanksgiving, 1963 ~ On the Backside of Bidwell Jr High’s Gym ~ Hiding Behind the Front Passenger Tire ~ The Ottoman Between My Parent’s Living Room Chairs. Thanksgiving, 1963 My dad worked every day of every week, so it wasn’t surprising to see his car gone on a beautiful fall day as the 32-pound turkey was already in the oven. I was tenyears-old and eager to join the neighborhood tackle football game across the street in the school yard’s field. My older brother ended up on the opposite team. On an innocent end run, football tucked close to my body, my older brother caught me from behind and flung me to the ground—shoulder first. That tackle ended the game as I was in severe pain, collarbone clearly broken. When we made our way home my mom made it clear Dad was not going to find out about this mishap. My collarbone was rubbed down with Absorbine Junior, covered with a white button down shirt and tie, and I was perched on a dining room chair for the not so Thanksgiving feast. Behind the Gym One of my older sisters secured the case of tall Colt 45’s. It was my 8th grade summer, and my brother and best friend took off for one of our favorite spots behind the school’s gym across the street. There was a single aluminum bleacher, and the vast playing field at our pleasure. Not long into our first can, a set of headlights came racing around the corner across the grassy field. At the same time, two other cars raced into the parking lot out front from opposite directions. They were sheriff’s cars. I hightailed it out of there, sprinting across the parking lot, the street, and headed around the corner not looking back. My brother returned to fetch the cans, and my

buddy ducked under the poolside bleachers. The next thing I knew, I was standing in my driveway with the headlights of the sheriff’s car pointed right at me. My drinking buddies were in the backseat. Not my brightest moment. Behind the Tire Sometime during my senior year, my girlfriend broke up with me for a college guy. On a late and chilly Friday night, I talked my friend into dropping me off in front of her house, where I went around the backyard to knock on her window. After no response, I was making my way out of there when a car pulled up in front of the house with my ex-girlfriend and the college guy inside. I ducked behind her mom’s car in the driveway and waited for my buddy to come back around to pick me up. Out of nowhere, her dad’s pickup truck turned into the driveway, headlights pointed right at me. Like a prisoner of war, I stood up, arms above my head, and walked right into the painful humiliation. The Ottoman Sometimes, the unspeakable happens. My parents were creatures of habit, spending their evenings watching TV, Dad in his recliner and Mom in her high back chair. Between them was an ottoman. I had spent countless times sitting on it as my dad would launch into one of his lengthy lectures. It was his alternative to spanking. Never imagined as a 19-year-old, living in an apartment, that I would find myself on that ottoman. Renee and I were with friends at a barbeque before our church league softball game. The hosts received a phone call informing them my oldest brother had died in a car accident. Turns out, a church elder was running for supervisor against my sister and was informed of the accident. I knew something was up as they took us into a separate room and had us sit down while delivering the bad news. Renee and I immediately drove to my parent’s house, followed the sheriff’s car up the driveway, and pleaded with the officers to let me tell my parents. They finally agreed, and there I was on the ottoman, delivering this heartbreaking news. Sometimes, the unthinkable happens. I will leave you with this. Out of nowhere, all four of these stories randomly come to mind. I smile, laugh, cringe, and cry. Each and every time I see those worst places to be.

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Upgraded Living - September 2021

Articles inside

The Backpage

Johnny Appleseed Days return, and with them, memories of our area's history.

Vinshonhaler Park dazzles Orland

Cool Kid: Nakowa Kelley demonstrates grit, determination, and an incredible work ethic at Crush Italian Restaurant.

Ridge Eye Institute welcomes Dr Dylan Franchi to its practice.

The Taco Tracker dishes his worst

Chef Gary Jones gives us a sneak peek of his new French restaurant, Provencal.

Magician Kris Bentz wows audiences at his new show in Tres Hombres'

Doug Love sets out on California's new Oregon Trail.

The Battle of the Brisket—our third

Parkside launches the newest

Chef Kevin Garibaldi preaches the importance of good food