ETIQUETTE PROS QUARTERLY 2018 SPRING ISSUE

Etiquette Pros Quarterly Impacting Urban Communities Through Etiquette

WHAT DOES THE SECOND DATE MEAN?

SPRING

2018

TAX SEASON fOR SMALL BUSINESSES

A GENTLEMAN’S VALENTINES DAY Host a Hats and Pearls Springtime Tea in Your Community National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals

YEAR Of THE LADY

SAVE-THE-DATE National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals

NAUEP NATIONAL

Etiquette CONFERENCE Thursday – Saturday

July, 19-21

2018 Dallas | TX

Celebrating

7

Years of Etiquette Excellence You are cordially invited to three days of Celebration and Empowerment! Join Lady Trenette Wilson and members of the National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals (NAUEP) as we celebrate 7 years of ETIQUETTE EXCELLENCE!

Celebrating

Etiquette Sisterhood

SISTERHOOD 800.291.6492

Gain additional certifications, connect with etiquette and debutante sisters, and celebrate our NAUEP journey!

|

GROWTH |

|

EMPOWERMENT

For More Information Contact Us Email: conference@urbangirlz.org |

|

CELEBRATION

www.urbangirlz.org

ETIQUETTE IN BLACK HISTORY Save on Etiquette History

Maxine Powell Motown Etiquette Guru

Pick up your piece of history TODAY! The National Association is proud to present the History of Etiquette in Black America, a snapshot of the lives of the nation’s most prestigious African American etiquette instructors.

Find out how many African American etiquette instructors broke the glass ceiling of civility.

Pick Up Today!

Retail - $15.99 www.urbangirlz.org

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

Happy Valentine’s Day

FEATURES Contact Us National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals 800.291.6492 info@urbangirlz.org www.urbangirlz.rog

What Does the Second Date Mean……..……..…2 Fabulous Valentine’s Day Fashion……….…….…3 Valentine’s Day Dining……..…………….........….…..6 We’re Inspired by Angela Bassett.…..………….8 Gentlemen’s Valentine’s Day……….…….……...10 Tax Season ……………………………………..………….12

A WORD FROM THE PUBLISHER

Lady T renette Wilson

Greetings Friends of Etiquette: What a year! Words cannot express how fortunate we have been to spend a year impacting urban communities through etiquette.

Beyond celebrating this holiday season, I want to express my sincere gratitude to all of those who impacted and supported the work of NAUEP! 2018 ushers in a New Year of greatness and etiquette impact. I am excited to lead the charge to prepare underserved communities for their future.

As we look to 2018, we celebrate our 7 years of etiquette impact and you’re invited to join us!

Thank you for allowing us to impart your vision! xoxo – Lady T

Our Etiquette Pros Team

Cynthia Pillow Editor-in-Chief

into You’re invited to write for us! Contact Lady Pillow at news@urbangirlz.org!

What Does the Second Date Mean?

There are not a whole lot of things that people can do on a first date. Usually, they are sitting together somewhere holding a drink in one hand or a cup of coffee. Sometimes they meet for dinner. Often, if the date has been arranged over the internet, that meeting was set up sensibly only to last for a short time-long enough for each person to decide whether or not they want to get to know the other. A man and woman meet, talk for an hour or so, and then, usually, never see each other again. Not much time is wasted. Other first encounters in a bar or at a party are not much different. It is sensible to approach dating experiences in general with no great expectation that any particular relationship will develop into something important.

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

1

Everyone should look forward to having fun, rather than finding—at that moment and in that place—the person they will want to marry.

Getting to know someone new can be fun, in and of itself, if nothing is at stake. And most of the time nothing is at stake.

Sometimes the couple will make arrangements to see each other again. Usually, where they go and what they do will not matter very much. If they come to know each other and grow to like each other better over time, they may begin to care for each other in a serious way.

Sometimes unpromising beginnings take sudden turns for the better, and people fall in love.

But not infrequently, a couple may be strongly attracted to one another on the first date.

Christopher Marlowe put it more strongly: “…whoever loved, that loved not at first sight?”

Well, plenty of people; but on many occasions I have heard someone speak of meeting someone and then “talking half the night.” Even if that person is not speaking about love at first sight, something akin to that has happened. It then becomes important to that person that he or she does what can be done to make a good impression on that other person. He--or she-wants to be liked, and, possibly, loved. With that in mind, what should the second or third date look like? What to do and where to go should not be chosen simply on the basis of someone feeling most comfortable in those settings.

1.

Sports, or other physical activities. Not tennis, which requires a separation of twenty or thirty feet. Hiking (or taking a walk) through an unfamiliar setting—perhaps a park or a nature preserve. Jogging or swimming are activities that people can do together.

2.

Other outdoor activities. Taking a boat ride or going to a zoo. Apple picking. Making a picnic. Going together to a sporting event.

3.

Going to an unusual or special restaurant (as part of doing something else). i.e. A restaurant on the water or one that has unfamiliar foods or a unique setting.

4.

Cultural activities (in the widest sense of the word). Not only museums or outdoor concerts, but also comedy and jazz clubs.

Suggestions of what to do on a second or third date should not come exclusively from the man. However, since it is still conventional in this early stage of a relationship for the man to pay for doing whatever they decide on, the woman has to consider expense when she makes a particular suggestion. Men have more leeway.

Of course, this is all background. What both men and women try to do during these first meetings is to convey something of themselves. They want the other person to see that idealized version of themselves that they themselves see. Everyone has a picture of himself or herself that is appealing in one way or another: “I am sensitive,” one person may feel.

Another thinks, “I am strong.” Or “I am reliable,”—or kind, or thoughtful, or knowledgeable, or caring, or resourceful, or gracious, or any one or two of a number of different ways of being. So, naturally, during these times when two people are talking to each other about everything, but especially about themselves, they are trying to paint that picture. The places where they happen to meet are just background. But it is desirable to have an interesting background.

It is natural if someone is really good at something, to try to show off a little. I think it is a good idea to try to restrain this impulse. If someone is a great juggler, or a fine artist, or a good piano player, the other person is reduced to being a spectator rather than a partner in conversation.

Social activities (as long as they leave a lot of time to be alone together). Parties, church activities. (If possible, in novel settings.)

As it happens, I am a good piano player. I remember dating a young woman who was plainly losing interest in me until I sat down at the piano. After a few minutes, her face lit up and she smiled at me, as if seeing me for the first time. Her renewed interest lasted about an hour and a half.

Of course, if one of the two people have a favorite place, that would probably be a good place to go on a date since it will be endorsed enthusiastically by that person—and enthusiasm is always appealing.

Naturally, each person should show a special interest in the other. That interest is more important than explaining oneself. But it is an interest that comes naturally and does not have to be feigned.

5.

After the third or fourth date, there is the opportunity to meet each other’s friends and enter into each other’s life; but it is important to make a good start.

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

2

Fabulous Valentine’s Day Looks

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

3

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

4

National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals Impacting Underserved Communities through Etiquette

2018 ONSITE ADVANCED AND BASIC ETIQUETTE/JR. DEBUTANTE CERTIFICATIONS

SATURDAY | MARCH 23-24, 2018 HOUSTON | TX

Realize your etiquette vision And gain your credentials Join the premier etiquette association in the nation serving urban communities. Learn how to teach modern-day etiquette for children and adults, grow your etiquette brand and find your etiquette niche.

Who Should Attend?

CERTIFICATION INCLUDES:

Certifications Range from $425-1,250.00

Basic and Advanced Options Domestic Protocol Overview Etiquette Workshops Public Speaking Instruction Marketing and Business Development Support National Association Membership National Etiquette Exam Certification Manual

CONTACT US: 800.291.6492

Program and Ministry Directors Youth Directors First Ladies Community Members

May 25-26, 2018 New York, NY July 19-21, 2018 Dallas, TX October 18-19, 2018 Charlotte, NC www.urbangirlz.org

Great Brunch or Valentine’s Day

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

6

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

7

We’re Inspired By

Angela Bassett

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

| 8

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

12

The Perfect Gentleman on Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day always brings the gentleman out in men, or at least it should. As you think about how to woo your special lady, here is a short list of things all gentlemen can do on Valentine’s Day to make the day special!

Gentlemen Open Doors There’s nothing ruder than seeing a man walk in before a women and then letting the door slam in her face. On this day of love, open the car, restaurant and front door for your special lady.

Gentlemen Are Romantic There’s nothing like a surprise dinner, trip or picnic in the park planned by your boo! For Valentine’s Day, wow her with your creativity and make her day as romantic as possible.

Gentlemen Pull Out Chairs Ladies love feeling protected and nothing makes you feel safer than a big strong man! Well, in theory! Pull out the chair and watch a smile come across your lady’s face.

Gentlemen Don’t Arrive Empty Handed It’s no secret, ladies love opening great gifts from their favorite guy! Be sure to let her know your thinking of her by picking up a thoughtful gift. No matter how big or small.

Gentlemen Do Extra Does your boo ever look tired? If the answer is yes, Valentine’s Day is a great day for you to do a little extra around the house or pick up the kids from school. A well rested lady is a very happy lady!

Gentlemen Look Their Best Just for Valentine’s Day, pull out your Sunday’s Best to remind your wife what a gentlemen looks like.

Finally, gentleman knows more than the gifts, clothes, and gestures,

being there is the best gift of them all!

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

10

Its tax time and small business owners and consultants need to know the rules that can protect their assets and save them money.

Check out what Business Today says about what all small businesses owners should do.  Keep close track of all business expenses throughout the year and enter them into your accounting system in a timely fashion.  As you work with vendors or outside contractors, . anticipate which ones you will pay more than $600 to over the course of the year so you can send them 1099-Misc forms.  Offering fringe benefits such as health, vision and child-care assistance instead of standard raises can reduce tax burdens.  When faced with a choice of deducting either your actual auto expenses or the mileage deduction for business-related driving, take the mileage deduction. It’s a better deal with gas prices so high. Mobile apps such as Outright can make it easy to log your mileage as you go.  If you have unsold or unused inventory, instead of spending money on storing it, donate it and get the tax deductions. But keep in mind that goods donations greater than $500 have more rigorous reporting rules.

Etiquette Pros Quarterly

|

12

 Hire your kids and spouse and save on next year’s taxes. For example, if you pay a minor child up to $6,000 from your business profits for helping you with business tasks, that amount is not taxed the same as your ordinary income.

Also, if you hire your spouse, then as his or her employer you can pay for the healthcare of their family – i.e., yours – and deduct those payments.  Keep business and personal expenses separate. That means maintaining separate checking accounts and credit cards for your business.  The costs of launching a business are considered capital expenses, and you can deduct up to $5,000 your first year in business.  You can deduct educational expenses that maintain or improve skills required in your present employment, including seminars, classes and convention fees.  Finally, look at the Small Business Jobs Act Tax, signed into law in 2010. The law has nearly 20 initiatives aimed at decreasing the tax burden and providing savings for small businesses.

National Association of Urban Etiquette Professionals 4340 Spring Valley Dr. Farmers Branch, TX 75234