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VOL 4 ISSUE 03

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Young people love Ron Paul... but they don’t all know why

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Guide:

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Our Superbowl

27

UWeekly sits down

Picking your major

predictions

with Hour Band

PLUS KNOW BEFORE YOU BRO A GUIDE TO AUSTIN’S BRO-PULATION

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Photo: Luke Winkie Cover photo: Ryan Betori

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RON PAUL’S

YOUTH MOVEMENT WHY THE YOUTH OF AMERICA SUPPORT A 76-YEAR-OLD FOR PRESIDENT RON PAUL MAY NOT BE THE NUMBER ONE choice for most voters during the Republican primaries, but for the youth of America, Paul is their guy.

Despite the low voter turnout, Paul has been sweeping the youth vote (ages 18-29) during the 2012 Republican Primary.

Paul has won almost half of the youth vote in recent caucuses, proving he is more in-tune with the youth of America than any other Republican candidate.

Students at the University of Texas have also shown their support for Paul.

Economics major Caitlyn Bates applied for and was granted permission to organize the UT chapter of Youth for Ron Paul, the official effort by the Ron Paul 2012 Presidential Campaign to organize, recruit, and mobilize young people to effectively support the presidential candidacy of Paul.

at 6 PM on the first and third Thursdays of every month in GAR 2.112. Students interested in joining the chapter can do so by signing up on youthforronpaul.com, joining the group’s Facebook page or visiting them in person when they are on campus tabling.

As for why Bates supports Paul, she refers to his voting record.

“Paul has integrity and actually represents the people, not corporate sponsors,” said Bates. “He has the most consistent voting record in Congress and votes against corporate welfare, war, and the consistent human rights abuses that characterize the Republicans and Democrats alike, even when he stands alone. When he speaks, they are his words.

He doesn’t have to rely on teleprompters and speechwriters like the rest of the candidates, because his positions on the issues come from principles, not the highest bidder.”

WHEN HE SPEAKS, THEY ARE HIS WORDS. HE DOESN’T HAVE TO RELY ON TELEPROMPTERS AND SPEECHWRITERS BECAUSE HIS POSITIONS COME FROM PRINCIPLES, NOT THE HIGHEST BIDDER. “I started the Youth for Ron Paul chapter at UT because college campuses, especially ones with as much political clout as ours, can play such a crucial role in organizing and mobilizing the grassroots,” said Bates. “Dr. Paul is also overwhelmingly popular among young voters, so college campuses are really the beating heart of the campaign at the local level.”

As chapter leader, Bates serves as a liaison between their chapter and the national campaign.

“I support my fellow Paul-ers and do everything I can to ensure that our various efforts are cohesive, productive, and worthwhile,” said Bates.

The UT chapter of Youth for Ron Paul meets

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February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

What makes Paul such a viable candidate to young adults is that he represents radical change, according to several political analysts.

Paul wants to decrease the power of the Federal Reserve Bank, opposes US involvement in Middle East wars, opposes drug war and the imprisonment of nonviolent drug offenders and also opposes torturing, preventive detention of suspected terrorists, and curbs on civil liberties in the name of fighting terrorism.

Bates, who says that she supports his propeace stance, agrees with analysts’ assessments of why Paul appeals to America’s youth.

“His stance against American imperialism

Photo: Luke Winkie

and consistent votes to end the wars and cut the military budget—which most Republicans won’t touch—makes him the only hope for most young voters, who are tired of seeing kids no different from ourselves being bombed every day by our government,” said Bates. “Our military has bases in over 100 countries around the world, is actively waging wars in six, and our war in Afghanistan has civilians making up 90 percent of the casualties. We just want the killing to stop. Many just need to see the footage of drones decimating schools and hospitals in Libya to realize it has to stop. Ron Paul is the only candidate that would end this mindless bloodshed and I think America’s youth voters

are ready to support the soldiers by bringing them home, alive. The kids are ready for peace.”

As the oldest candidate at 76 years old, Paul has captured the attention of students at Austin Community College as well.

“I know a lot of people who roll their eyes when I say I support Ron Paul,” said ACC student David Guerrero. “They think college students only support him because he wants to legalize marijuana. I support him because he tells the truth. He doesn’t hide behind political ideologies. When someone asks him a question he tells it like it is honestly and truthfully.”

KARISSA RODRIGUEZ

SOCIAL MEDIA

vs. EDUCATION

A STUDENT GUIDE TO USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO EARN BETTER GRADES THE DEBATE CONCERNING HOW social media affects students’ grades is a hot-button issue for a lot of parents, teachers, and school administrators. Many think that social media sites like Facebook and Twitter hurt grades because they are a distraction, but others believe that they can be a valuable tool to utilize in the classroom.

Over the past year several studies have been completed to determine if social media does, in fact, harm students’ grades. Nearly every study has had inconclusive results, determining that social media can both help and harm your grades depending on how students use it.

The following breaks down the wrong and right ways to use social media while in college.

FACEBOOK

Right: Use Facebook to get involved with campus organizations. The best way to discover what campus groups are out there is to do a quick search on Facebook. There, students can discover other students who share the same interests with them and learn about how to get involved with campus organizations.

One other way that Facebook and several other social media tools have helped students is by encouraging students to collaborate with classmates online. Facebook groups have been utilized by several professors as a way to continue the classroom discussion outside of the classroom or even to turn in homework.

Wrong:

Checking Facebook several times a day or while studying. A study by Netherlands psychologist Paul A. Kirschnera of the Centre for Learning Sciences and Technologies at the Open University of the Netherlands, and Aryn C. Karpinskib of Ohio State University found that college students

who are on Facebook while studying or doing homework wind up getting 20 percent lower grades than students who don’t have the social networking site in visual range, or even running in the background on their computers or mobile phones.

Keeping up with Facebook feeds frequently can also cause students to earn less money. Another study found that 85 percent of Facebook users work less that 5 hours per week. In comparison, 80 percent of non-Facebook users work more than 16 hours per week.

TWITTER

Right: Keep up-to-date with the current events and collaborate with classmates. Those born after the early ’90s won’t remember this, but back before social media existed students were encouraged by teachers to pick up the daily newspaper or watch television news

plausible for students to become addicted to social media, especially Twitter, since it has constant updates every few seconds. Students who are addicted to Twitter have said that they constantly feel anxious, jittery and frantic.

MANY THINK THAT SOCIAL MEDIA SITES LIKE FACEBOOK AND TWITTER HURT GRADES BECAUSE THEY ARE A DISTRACTION, BUT OTHERS BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN BE A VALUABLE TOOL TO UTILIZE IN THE CLASSROOM. to keep up with current events in order to complete extra credit assignments. Today, Twitter is THE place to go to discover the latest breaking news and it comes in multitudes. Its unbelievably easy to keep up with current events because of this.

Wrong: Become addicted to your Twitter feed. Students whose hands twitch for their smart phones when they are not on it have a problem. Studies have shown that it is entirely

BLOGS

Right: Blogs can be utilized for a number of things, including promoting student work and creating online resumes, but the best way that blogs have helped students are by allowing them to view other students and educators’ blogs. A study by Rowland Gallop from University of Worcester, United Kingdom found that blogs can help to increase student-to-tutor or -teacher contact time,

help to increase student-to-student contact time and help increase student reflection on materials learned in class. According to the study, students who use blogs as part of the learning process are able to have much more effective communication with their teachers and understand concepts better.

Wrong: Starting a blog without a purpose.

Students who have personal blogs where they just talk about themselves and their daily activities aren’t engaging the outside world.

They can become susceptible to depression since they spend most of their time updating their blog instead of talking to actual people.

Also, personal blogs when utilized well can increase a person’s chances at getting a job once they graduate, but they can also hurt you at the same time if an employer searches for you online.

It is true that social media can help and hurt students’ grades, but it’s how they use it that can determine if they can earn a passing or failing grade. When used right, students can easily boost their grades and earn an A. Just remember that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing when it comes to social media.

KARISSA RODRIGUEZ UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

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HOW TO PICK A MAJOR IT’S EASIER THAN YOU THINK

ONE DAY IT’S BIOCHEMICAL ENGINEERING, the next day it’s fashion. Unless you have a very clear idea of what you want to do after you finish college, what you want to do while you’re in college can seem a little fuzzy.

Not to fear! You’re not alone. College is a notoriously confusing time and your twenties are a decade set aside specifically for fucking up and fucking up some more. So don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right the first time.

While you may have a couple of semesters’ leeway for getting your basics out of the way, time is a-tickin’. Eventually, you’re going to have to make a decision and stick with it. Keep these points in mind when mulling over the life changing question, “So what’s your major?”

WHAT’S YOUR PASSION?

Meet us Patio Meet us at at The The Local Local Pub Pub & & Patio every Friday at at 5:00pm 4:00pm (2610 Guadalupe) Guadalupe) Every and yourself! and introduce introduce yourself!

What makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning? What makes your heart sing? While these may be corny questions, there’s some merit to them. The answers to these questions could point you in the right direction. It could be anything from a noble cause to capital gain.

It’s OK to admit to yourself what you really want out of life, even if it is just money.

Think of it this way: What did you come here to do? Why were you born? What external forces in the world move your soul? Those things are probably passions of yours. It’s also beneficial to look at what things you already do. Do you play a musical instrument, foster homeless animals, write screenplays that then

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February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

collect dust under your bed? What do you already do for free? Why not consider turning that into a career?

WHAT ARE YOU CURIOUS ABOUT? College is an excellent time to explore subjects you’ve always wanted to but never had the opportunity. They don’t even have to relate to a major. Although it can be expensive, it’s often worth it to take one or two classes for

THERE’S NO TELLING WHAT YOU’LL DISCOVER ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS THAT WILL HELP LEAD YOU TO THE RIGHT CAREER PATH. pure fun and exploration.

Even if they aren’t part of your major, or play a direct part in picking a major, the pursuit of intellectual knowledge for the sake of feeding your curiosity could prove fruitful in the long run. There’s no telling what you’ll discover about yourself in the process that will help lead you to the right career path.

WHAT BREAKS YOUR HEART? This is probably a question you haven’t asked yourself, mostly because it’s depressing. But the answers to this question reveal a lot of what you feel sympathetic to and feel a connection with. Animal abuse,

environmental rights, mental health, drug addiction. Whose story does it consistently pain you to hear? Whose suffering do you empathize with the most? These things have a direct connection to your heartstrings and it’s worth considering a career helping the people you sympathize with the most.

WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT? This may seem like an obvious question to ask yourself, but your talents may be so second nature to you that you don’t think you could make a living off of it. This isn’t so! Not everybody is good at calculus or memorizing the periodic table of elements. Your skills and interests are specific to you. No person on earth has the same passions, talents and interests that you do. Much like a lock, the right combination can open you up to previously locked away treasures.

Although graduation may seem like an eternity away, don’t become myopic. Whatever it is you decided to study, you must always ask yourself the very realistic questions: How will this help me get a job? How will this help me support myself? You must always think about the long run here. One day, you might want to start a family or travel the world, but either way it’s going to take some cash, and if your skills and education don’t translate into marketplace value, you might be wasting your time and your parents’ (or your own!) money.

AMANDA CHAPPEL

GOOD DEEDS

SMILE FOR WORLD HAPPY DAY THIS FEB. 11 MANY OF US HAVE WONDERED about it, desperately searched for it and even popped pills to try to get it. It’s the elusive yet natural state of being happy.

World Happy Day, not to be confused with World Happiness Day which occurs in August, has been created and projected

for and experience of happiness. One of the ways that you can do your part to share the love is to hold a screening in your area. It can be in your dorm, at your apartment or simply hop online and watch it from your computer.

This is also the perfect opportunity for any budding filmmakers or TV buffs out there to get involved in a movie screening. If you’re interested in screening the film and making everyone around you a little happier, visit worldhappyday.com/ screening/ for more details.

But hurry, for you only have just enough time to throw this shindig together!

“ONCE YOU EXPERIENCE IT, YOU’RE FOREVER CHASING THAT RUSH, THAT HIGH.” out into the world by the filmmakers of the movie HAPPY. In this yet-to-be-released title, the director sets out to explore the nature of happiness and why it’s important. World Happy Day is the day that the movie HAPPY is set to be released.

The vision and mission of the HAPPY filmmakers is to create a global movement beginning on Feb. 11 surrounding the quest

THE SCIENCE OF HAPPY Happiness is a phenomena experienced by all of us at some point in our lives. It occurs most frequently during childhood and early adolescence. But as we age and experience more of what life has to offer, our level and

experience of happiness diminishes. Some spend their entire lives trying to get back to the state of euphoric happiness they experienced as a child.

Like a drug, happiness is addictive. Once you experience it, you’re forever chasing that rush, that high. But some scientists believe that happiness can be broken down into measureable categories, thus eliminating the mystery behind the H-word.

Scientists have found a correlation between your perception of happiness and your perception of each of the following categories: Control: How much control do you have over your time, money and energy?

Progress: Are you making meaningful progress in the direction of your life’s goals?

Connection: What is your sense of community, connection to others?

Fulfillment: Do your daily activities and future goals involve meaning and purpose?

AMANDA CHAPPEL

HAPPINESS EXERCISES Get out your pens and paper.

No peeking. The timer starts now!

1

Write down the top five things you would do if you had unlimited income

2

Write down the top five things you would do if you had unlimited time

3

Write down the top five things you would do if you had absolutely no fear

4

Write down the top five things you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet

Find which answers occur more than once.

These things just might make you happy if you do them.

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

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DAYPLANNER

AMANDA CHAPPEL

EVENTS ON OR AROUND CAMPUS GETTING THE HELL OUTTA DODGE February 1 Don’t waste your whole college experience in Texas. Please, don’t. Just think about it: You can go anywhere in the whole fucking world. Well, anywhere UT has a partner program anyhow. Austin’s cool, but it ain’t that cool. Get more info at the UT study abroad fair.

Gregory Plaza, 10 AM-3 PM ALMOST STRAIGHT February 1 Sure, life would be easier as a hetero. It’d be easier if you just followed the rules and lived life according to the Good Word. But, it’s not that simple, is it? Dr. Mark Broomfield will try not to bore you with this lecture on the similarities of gay men and straight men.

Jester (JES) Warfield Center/ISESE Gallery A230, 12 PM-2 PM MAKING THAT GREEN

February 2 We’re talking about money and the environment. The school of natural sciences is holding its annual career fair. This shit’s only going on for one day, so if you’re into botany, get your ass down to the Frank Erwin Center and learn how to make a career for yourself.

Frank Erwin Center, 1 PM-6 PM, School ID required

Publisher Michael Huereque

TEXAS-SIZED ROUND-UP February 2 Does Mac Brown make you star struck? Do you get all giddy inside when he talks to the cameras after a game? If he does, you’re not going to want to miss this. He’ll be at the 2012 Football Recruiting Round-Up. Even if you’re a washed-up high-school has-been, you can still live vicariously through the lives of those who’ve made it to D1 ball.

Frank Erwin Center, 11:30 AM-1 PM, $30 SPREAD EAGLE February 3 The Vagina Monologues is here. It’s finally here in Austin. Only, it will be performed in sign language.

Happy V Day, everyone.

ACC Eastview Building 8500, 7 PM-9 PM, $10

THE SCHEDULE

Account Executives Nick Lorges Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie Sports Writers Brian Bogart

YOUR GUIDE TO ALL THINGS BURNT ORANGE.

Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech Circulation Jeremy Tooker

WEDNESDAY, FEB 1

W Swim & Dive SMU, Dallas, Texas, 1:00 PM

W Basketball

M Golf

Kansas State, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

The Amer Ari Invitational, Kohala Coast, Hawaii, All Day

SATURDAY, FEB 4, CONT.

The Amer Ari Invitational, Kohala Coast, Hawaii, All Day

M Track

M Track

New Balance Invitational, New York, NY, TBA

New Balance Invitational, New York, NY, TBA

THURSDAY, FEB 2

M Swim & Dive

SUNDAY, FEB 5

M Golf

M Golf The Amer Ari Invitational, Kohala Coast, Hawaii, All Day

FRIDAY, FEB 3

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FRIDAY, FEB 3, CONT.

Texas A&M (SFLSS), College Station, Texas, TBA

SATURDAY, FEB 4 M Basketball Texas Tech, Austin, Texas, 6:00 PM

M Tennis

W Basketball

Virginia, Charlottesville, VA, 6:00 PM

Iowa State, Ames, Iowa, 1:00 PM

February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

M Tennis North Carolina, Chapel Hill, NC, TBA

MONDAY, FEB 6 M Basketball Texas A&M, College Station, Texas, 8:00 PM BRIAN BOGART

CONTACT uweeklyaustin.com editor@uweeklyaustin.com facebook.com/uweeklyaustin PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC ABOUT UWeekly Austin UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

AIR IT OUT

OPINION Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

“Run outside and dance to Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift.”

DEAR DRINK PRICES DOWNTOWN, WHAT’S YOU’RE DEAL? Not only do I have to fight throngs of people, over-aggressive bouncers, and dick bartenders to get to you in the first place, but when I finally pull out my wallet to purchase you, you typically come at several times any price that is reasonable. But I guess that’s to be expected. After all, people don’t just go downtown for the drinks, they go for the ambiance and scandalous times and I get that. But given all the barriers that come between me and you, I feel like I deserve a fucking medal whenever I finally do have you within my grasp.

SUBMIT TO AIR IT OUT! 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the

Meg Thompson

“My favorite thing to do on a rainy day is curl up in a blanket, eat ice cream, and watch a movie.“

Ashlee Lanzi

But hey, downtown wouldn’t be downtown if it weren’t for the drinks and it especially wouldn’t be downtown if those drinks came at a reasonable price. For now, I can keep going like this, but the next time I drop $14 for what just turns out to be an expensive brand of spiked punch, I think I might burn down the establishment that served it to me, Milton-style (Office Space anyone?).

Sincerely, My red stapler communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

“On a rainy day, my favorite thing to do is to curl up on my favorite couch with my dog and a good book. It’s pretty cliche, but it’s the best way to enjoy the little bit of rain we get. That, or go play mud football.”

Kaitlin Bouzek

“Jump in a pool”

Audrey Halm

“On rainy days I really like to cuddle up in my bed with a book, then make some comfort food with my roomie and watch sappy movies on the couch. Girl to the extreme”

Katie Raymond

“I enjoy laying in bed and listening to the rain fall. I find thunderstorms intriguing. If I could be a storm chaser, I would!”

Alese Morales

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

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THE NAME GAME AN EXAMINATION OF SOME OF THE CRAZIEST NAMES IN SPORTS AND WHAT THEY MEAN ABOUT THE ATHLETES WHO POSSES THEM

W

HAT’S IN A NAME? The very question Shakespeare pondered centuries ago still fascinates us to this day and yet we are no closer to the answer. One thing we do know, however, is that names have a funny way of describing the very person they’re designated to. How else could you explain a man like Steve Jobs, who, by founding Apple, created thousands of, well, jobs. Why else would Stevie Wonder posses his famous moniker if he didn’t instill such a sense of wonder in all of us? While no one can explain the secret power that connects a person to his or her name, one thing we can do is examine the ones we know about, and if we can’t find anything compelling, we’ll at least crack some jokes along the way. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a look at some of the most interesting names in sports history and I hope you’re ready for what you are about to read.

Kid Chocolate The boxing legend of the 1920s and ’30s, also known by many as “The Cuban Bon Bon,” was a unique blend of old-school grit and newschool flash that helped usher in a new era for the sport of boxing. Although his real name was Eligio Sardinas Montalvo, he was primarily known as “Kid Chocolate” by the time he started gaining notoriety among boxing’s elite, and by the time he broke into the social scene in the United States it was easy to see why.

TIGER HAS JUST ABOUT ALWAYS BEEN THE SHEER EMBODIMENT OF HIS NAME SINCE HE FIRST WOWED US AS A YOUNGSTER. He was charismatic, fought with a style many would say was sweet as chocolate and, given his flamboyant personality, often acted like a kid in the ring.

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February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

While Kid Chocolate is easy to view as a forgotten champion from a bygone era that was simply loaded with great and popular fighters, his record more than speaks for itself. 135 wins against 10 losses and six draws, way back when boxers fought multiple times a month and didn’t blink an eye about it. Even if Kid Chocolate helped the sport of boxing spark a new age of pugilism, it’s easy to see why he is still lumped in the same category with the many fighters of old who helped make boxing what it is today.

Milton Bradley The cruel irony about Milton Bradley is that you would think being named after a popular board game company would make you a fun person. Apparently, all it does is make you a fun person to watch. While any shimmer that may have existed on Bradley’s once-kind-of-decent career is just about completely faded, baseball fans won’t soon forget the antics that ensued during the times that he didn’t get his way.

After all, who could forget the time he tore his ACL while being restrained from a

fight against a first base umpire?

Who could forget the suspensions that ensued when Bradley found it necessary to argue with the home base umpire over whether or not he was out on strikes? Who could forget his penchant for bouncing from team to team after finally ending up in free agency purgatory, eight teams into his career? Even if the sun has totally set on Bradley’s career, he is one of the most memorable one-time all-stars you’re likely to find in this sport and for that reason he is honored here today. Sa-lute!

Dick Trickle I could write in this space about how Dick Trickle was the 1989 NASCAR Winston Cup Rookie of the Year, or about how he was the 1984 and ’85 American Speed Association Champion. Then again, I could just make a joke about how being a race-car driver named “Dick Trickle” must indicate some sort of heavy implications about his sex life. But that would be too much work. Either way, all you have to really do is think of the phrase “Dick Trickle” in your head and you’re guaranteed to laugh. Go ahead, do it. Dick Trickle. You just laughed.

Tiger Woods I know that at this point in his career, Tiger Woods is such a staple of American culture that the sheer ridiculousness of his name is often overlooked, but really think about it. I mean, Tiger Woods? That’s actually a name?

You bet your ass it is and in Tiger’s case it’s completely appropriate. Tiger, famous for his

powerful swing and aggressive approach on the golf course, has just about always been the sheer embodiment of his name since he first wowed us as a youngster. It’s why we never asked questions in the first place when we first learned his name was Tiger Woods and we’re certainly not going to start now. With the exception of this article of course.

God Shammgod All I gotta say is, talk about some lofty expectations. No matter what Shammgod’s stat-line reads at the end of the night, God’s is always gonna look better. Not to mention that whenever a debate sparks about who was the better between the two, they say “sure, Shammgod was a good ball-handler in his day, but God created man and all of eternity.” It just isn’t fair.

BRIAN BOGART

HIGHLIGHT

REEL

DWIGHT HOWARD, the best big man in the NBA, made waves earlier this week when he announced he would be “open” to a trade with the Bulls. Not only do the Bulls have the tradeable players and the money to get it done, but they also have the reigning MVP as their point guard, who I’m sure would love to have a freakishly athletic seven-foot target to lob the ball to. In light of all this, the Magic have actually performed surprisingly well this season despite the not-so-subtle hints from Howard that he wants out of Orlando and into a bigger market. If anything, it speaks volumes for his character that his production has yet to suffer from being in a situation he doesn’t want to be in, but maybe that’s just the kind of guy Dwight Howard is. Here’s to you, Superman.

IT’S HERE! IT’S HERE! The day every recruiting buff waits for every 364 days of the year: National Signing Day. The day where high school recruits who have yet to decide where they’re going to school make their decisions, and recruits who have already verbally committed get to sign their letters of intent. While NSD is usually not as big of a deal for Texas as it is for other schools, since UT typically locks its recruits down so early in the process, there have been big pushes from the Texas staff to secure one or two more studs before recruiting season finally comes to a close. That included getting former TCU commit Daje Johnson to switch his loyalty to the good guys, as well as snatching bluechip linebacker Dalton Santos straight out of Tennessee. Looks like someone knows where the real UT is. Welcome to the 40 Acres, boys.

Can’t wait to see y’all in burnt orange.

SUPER BOWL weekend is finally upon us and the championship rematch no one outside of the Northeast really wanted is all but ready to kick off, and at this point it’s

probably about time to make my prediction.

Well, thinking logically, the Giants have had the slightly more difficult playoff road in taking down the number one overall seed in the NFL as well as the 49ers, which were one of the most complete teams year-round. Hell, they’ve already beaten the Pats earlier this season when they were missing some key offensive weapons. But if Super Bowls were decided logically, the Patriots would have gone 19-0 in 2007. Pats beat the Giants 27-24 in Super Bowl XLVI. I don’t even give a shit that the prediction oracles at EA Sports disagree with me, it’s on.

NOW IT’S TIME for the latest episode of “Hindsight.” When we last left Landon Collins, a heavily recruited 5-star out of Louisiana, he was on TV announcing his decision to roll with the Tide while his mom publicly chided her son’s decision to not attend the home school, LSU. Since then, however, April Collins has attempted to justify her behavior by claiming Nick Saban offered Landon’s girlfriend a job in his office, which may have ultimately swayed

Photo: Keith Allison

THE

Landon’s favor. While Alabama says they have no comment, it’s clear there’s something about her son’s recruitment April Collins did not like one bit. I just wonder what the protocol is for recruiting two players?

IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD WHY NO ONE SHOULD BE SURPRISED ABOUT THIS SEASON’S UNLIKELY PAIR OF SUPER BOWL CONTENDERS. THE SUPER BOWL: An event so important that advertisers collectively step up their game to entertain the millions watching. A game so huge, calendar makers decide to designate their own name for the day it falls on. A spectacle so titillating, even Morgan Freeman finds it appropriate to narrate several Visa commercials with the Super Bowl being the central theme.

Clearly, you get the point: the Super Bowl is kind of a big deal. Kind of a really big deal.

It’s the one game that decides who America’s true professional football champion is; and yet, there are plenty of times where we feel like the best team in the NFL that year just happened to miss out on a Super Bowl championship. But we’re not here to crown the best team, we’re here to crown a champion, and throughout the playoffs, the Patriots and Giants have each proven that they have some form championship mettle through the respective trials they’ve faced.

Now that both teams are a few years removed from their historic clash that saw the Giants beat the Patriots in one of the most famous upsets in football history, the two teams now find themselves in familiar territory. How will the game turn out? Well that all hinges on a number of important factors heading into this game.

ELI VS. TOM Tom Brady is Tom Brady, but Eli Manning is having the best season of his career, something that Tom Brady usually just calls “a season.” It’s quite apparent, however, that there’s just something different about Eli Manning this year. Maybe he figured that since the elder Manning was stepping out of the spotlight for a while, it was his chance to take center stage. Maybe he realized that people viewed him as a bit of an underachiever given the talent that surrounded him. Or maybe he just realized that if he wanted to win a Super Bowl, he was going to have to go into full-on bad-ass mode and break the single season record for most 4th quarter and overtime comebacks in a season.

Whatever Eli did, it’s been working, and you can bet that he’s not going to back off now. This should figure to be a quarterback duel of the highest degree and I’m personally stoked to see it.

BATTLE OF THE GRUMPY MCGRUMPERSONS Tom Coughlin and Bill Belichick are not necessarily coaches that are known for their, well, sunny dispositions. Maybe it has something to do with coaching in the frigid northeast, or it could just

Photo: President’s Council on Fitness and Sport

be that they’re kind of assholes. But when you get down to it, you just don’t often catch these guys smiling at any post-game press conferences.

Bill Belichick hates losing. He hates it a lot. But the only thing I think he would hate more than losing a game would be to lose two Super Bowls to the same coach. The Patriots are obviously hungry for revenge, but I don’t know if anyone is hungrier on that team than the one wearing the headset. Only time will tell how his team is going to respond.

MHK Notice those little patches the Patriots have been wearing all season long that say “MHK” on them? They are in honor of Myra Kraft, wife of owner Robert Kraft, who died right before the start of the current football season. To honor her memory, the Pats decided to dedicate their season to her and have been wearing the “MHK” patches on their jerseys ever since. You know they would love to win a Super Bowl for the lady that was practically a team mom to them, and now they’re only one win away. No

matter what happens, though, it’s clear that Kraft’s passing has given the Patriots that extra “oomph” they’ve been showing all season long, especially for a team that wasn’t necessarily projected to go to the Super Bowl. Either way, she’s certainly pleased with the season they’ve been having so far, you can bet on that.

REVENGE This one should be pretty self-explanatory, and normally I would say that the Patriots are clearly the team that wants it more, if only the Giants haven’t proven themselves to be just as hungry as the team they beat four years ago. Normally, the edge in this kind of game would have to go to the team that lost the last time around, but seeing as how the Giants have come from behind so many times this year, it’s hard to clearly say which team wants it more. I could tell you what I want right now, though, and that is for this game to finally kick off.

Now let’s all just shut up and watch some football.

BRIAN BOGART

ALL ICED UP UWEEKLY’S MIDSEASON NHL REPORT SEASON MIDPOINTS are very subjective things. For some it’s a comfortable, backpatting retrospective on an already successful campaign; for others it’s an optimistic regrouping with a focus on a lower-seeded playoff berth; and for a few, namely the Columbus Blue Jackets, it’s a lot of fuss about the trade deadline. Halfway through the NHL season we’ve seen Stanley Cup hype produce anemic results, a long-winded concussion controversy, and the emergence (and reemergence) of a few dangerous squads. The following are a few observations for the road to April.

FROZEN SOLID IN LOS ANGELES Before the season the LA Kings were a pretty trendy Stanley Cup contender-pick. And why not? The addition of solid playmaker guys like Dustin Penner and Mike Richards to a team with

Kings can figure out their offense, there’s no reason to think they’ll be outmatched come playoff time.

OH CROSBY, WHERE ART THOU? The undying saga of Sidney Crosby’s concussion recovery and ensuing head injury controversy has kinda overshadowed the scariest thing: when/if he returns this year, he’ll be on the best Pittsburgh Penguins team he’s ever been on. They’re top ten in penalty killing, goals per game, and goals against even without his presence. Unfortunately as more information comes out about Crosby’s injury it keeps looking more serious. Just the other week we learned the captain injured his neck severely enough to require an MRI. If he does manage to make it back, the Pens will look like an easy Stanley Cup pick. It could be a glorious

THE UNDYING SAGA OF SIDNEY CROSBY’S CONCUSSION RECOVERY AND ENSUING HEAD INJURY CONTROVERSY HAS KINDA OVERSHADOWED THE SCARIEST THING: WHEN/IF HE RETURNS THIS YEAR, HE’LL BE ON THE BEST PITTSBURGH PENGUINS TEAM HE’S EVER BEEN ON. already high-tier scorer Anze Kopitar looked pretty good on paper. They’re scrappy, they kill penalties, they play defense, and, ostensibly, they should be scoring. Of course now the Kings are in the scoring column’s absolute basement with a meager 2.1 goals per game. It’s a strange predicament. They’re not doing anything particularly wrong—they crash the net, play in position, and get good chances—but for whatever cosmic reason, the puck refuses to go in the net. Frankly it’s been the one big blemish on a respectable season, finishing top five in penalty kills and goal defense. Their defensive aptitude and brilliant goal-tending has pushed them to a 24-16-10 record, but there are far too many 1-0 and 2-1 losses to feel confident. If the

rebirth or a tragedy that usually comes with injury-riddled talent. Given his character, it’s hard not to hope for his return.

A SWANSONG FOR PHOENIX? Recently it’s been reported that the oftirrelevant Phoenix Coyotes might be a mere year away from a move. The reasons are obvious: prolonged mediocrity, the lack of a marquee talent, the fact that the they’re located in the middle of a desert amongst a population which might as well regard hockey as an alien life form. The same rumors plagued Carolina, Nashville and plenty other nontraditional hockey towns over the years.

Sure, some have thrived—the Kings constantly sell out the Staples Center; same with the Predators—but Phoenix never could muster the fan support. It also doesn’t help that the franchise is currently owned by the NHL. So the potential candidates? Seattle, Las Vegas, and Quebec. We can erase Las Vegas preemptively simply because gambling laws make it tricky, so it’ll most likely either be the Pacific Northwest or Quebec City. Personally, my guess is Seattle; the NHL has been keen on expanding fanbases via TV coverage, which is far more prevalent in America than in Canada. Quebec certainly offers an easier way to fill a stadium, but the NHL is aiming higher than that.

IS THIS FINALLY THE YEAR? You gotta feel for the Canucks. Boasting some of the best fans in the league and a history completely absent of one measly Stanley Cup victory, most recently coming at the hands of a heartbreaking loss to the Bruins in Game 7 on home ice. But maybe, just maybe, 2012 will be the year. Boasting a near-unstoppable offense and (at the very least) a competent defense, they’ve overcome another slow start and heads are starting to turn. Maybe it’s just because they’re so fun to watch, but it’s hard not to have a good feeling about Vancouver going forward.

LUKE WINKIE UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

13

WIN TWO TICKETS

TEXAS

BLUE AUSTIN’S BIGGEST CHELSEA FANS ARE PART OF AMERICA’S NEW SOCCER GENERATION FROM THE OUTSIDE, Cuatro’s looks like any other mid-level sports bar in Austin: a clean, concrete patio, a roomy bar, and a healthy dosage of plasma TVs. It’s the ideal set-up for March Madness or a busy NFL Sunday.

There are hints of its alter-ego, sure, a set of color-coded club scarves, and a few framed jerseys, but it wears its disguise well. Enter at 6 AM on a Saturday, though, and you’ll be greeted by a horde of Austin’s most devout Premiership fans. They’ll be singing their chants, wearing their colors and ordering the first beers of what will undoubtedly be a very long weekend.

“I formed the Austin Blues in 2005,” said Jens Busch. “It was just a couple guys hanging out watching Chelsea games and every time someone walked in with a Chelsea jersey on I’d get their email and we had an email group.

adopted teams live on basic cable. With the emergence of the Fox Soccer Channel and ESPN’s renewed interest, there’s less of a barrier than ever before.

“I have friends back in London who can’t even see the games,” said Busch, “and I’m like, ‘Really? We watched it live!’”

Busch noted that early on, most of the

I HAVE FRIENDS BACK IN LONDON WHO CAN’T EVEN SEE THE GAMES, AND I’M LIKE, ‘REALLY? WE WATCHED IT LIVE!’

Visit our facebook page or go to UWEEKLYAustin.com for details on how to enter!

Six years later we’re a certified Platinum Club with the Chelsea organization.”

They take over Cuatro’s for every home game, reveling in the camaraderie.

“At this point they’re all our best friends,” said Cuatro’s manager Cassidy Mora.

For those of you that don’t know, Chelsea is one of the more successful clubs in English Premiership Football. It’s one part of an unprecedented and increasing domestic interest in foreign soccer. I remember my English father sifting through grainy Spanish-language channels to watch the 1998 World Cup. Now fans across the states can watch their

Austin Blues were from the English expatriate community, those who already had an investment in the Premiere League. But it’s almost indistinguishable now. The number of American-bred Premiership fans that are informed and articulate about the game are reaching heights that sports pundits always thought was impossible. Against all odds, soccer has earned a significant foothold, especially in certain cities. The average attendance at MLS games are starting to rival NBA games.

“I think showing the games live offered a logical alternative to the usual morning sports programming,” said Busch. “The

World Cup had an impact, the Women’s World Cup was fantastic, and people forget that the U.S. has the largest youth soccer organization til about the age of 14. I think those kids are getting older and they’re starting to get back into the game again.”

It’s not an easy explanation. Nobody has any perfect theories, not even the Cuatro’s staff. It can seem that the popularity even takes ESPN by surprise.

The Austin Blues isn’t just a sports club either. A few years ago they began investing in fundraising drives, something Busch was originally against.

“I didn’t want to force my charity onto someone who just wants to drink a beer and watch the game,” said Busch. “But now people are really excited about it. I get asked when our next event is all the time.” Their last drive? Raising a few thousand dollars for families hit by the Bastrop fires. Not bad for an American soccer club.

The most heartening thing is that the Austin Blues aren’t a singular force.

Hundreds of American Premiership clubs are picking up steam, recruiting new fans and genuinely striving to make the world a better place. It’s hard to know what the future for European soccer is in America, but institutions the community the Austin Blues offer an ideology worth fighting for.

LUKE WINKIE

RTF Bro

Oh this guy. You don’t necessarily know if he has a giant ego, but you might as well expect it. Sure, he’s a fun dude, always seems to know where the weird party is, a propensity for esoteric drugs, and a sweet vinyl collection, but still, how many times can he complain about how restricting his film professor is before we call him on his shit? Still, he’s an impressive guy to know, and a good friend to have. Categorically always dressed better than all your other bros (not that that’s a difficult thing to achieve).

A FEW SUB-CATEGORIES OF AMERICA’S FINEST DEMOGRAPHIC Photos: Luke Winkie LEAVING IT AT “BRO” doesn’t quite do it justice. There’s a universe of distinctions out there, and as the demographic expands it’s only going to get more complicated. For the first time getting called a “bro” is a bit of a compliment, but why leave it at that? Let’s sub-categorize. Let’s get more specific than the “frat-bro” or the “dude-bro.” So I present to thee, UWeekly reader, a number of under-recognized figures in the bro-kingdom. Let it be a guide the next time you want to describe someone a little more specifically.

Reddit Bro

You could’ve probably caught this guy at your local SOPA protest. He’s the bro who spends an absurd amount of time responding to every Reddit post he has even a minor investment in. Probably a physics major with an investment in hard science fiction, he’s the kind of guy who’ll talk about the plausible possibilities of space, infinity, and immortality for hours at the end of the party. At this point he spends more time quoting his favorite

Chemistry textbook to his favorite subreddits than he does making Facebook updates. It can be annoying, but it’s reassuring knowing someone in the world is thinking hard about those things while we waste away in Liberal Arts.

Dave Matthews/ Jack Johnson Bro

The very lowest tier on the bro-acceptence continuum (yes, even below frat-bros,) the Dave Matthews Bro is often found grazing in shitty open-air concerts with their Birkenstocks and ugly, tweed-dressed dates. The Dave Matthews Bro has successfully translated his profound indifference towards music into a steadfast and truly perplexing love of some of the whitest common-denominator pop out there. Often faux-spiritual, poorly tattooed, and all too willing to be the guy playing acoustic Oasis songs at a party, he’s generally the one getting the unflattering impressions after the party is over. Tends to prey on the girlfriends of currentlyabsent boyfriends, but generally fails when his mixtapes turn out to be as boring as his looks.

Ron Paul Bro

We all have a Ron Paul bro in our lives. It’s just the way things are. We do the right thing and accept them into the fold, always careful to avoid any topics even vaguely related to politics, conspiracies, religion and perplexing, potentially-racist personal histories. Most likely white, with a large Nine Inch Nails collection and the ability to recite the Preamble by heart, they often can be found hanging out with other Ron Paul Bros. Still, it’s a good hang out, especially if you get them into Brand New Books.

Bro’s Bro

The apex of bro-development, the bro’s bro harnesses the best qualities of the above distinctions (well, except the Dave Matthews Bro) and, not unlike Voltron, becomes a truly exemplary specimen. He’s the guy you look forward to seeing after a long day, he’s a vessel for shit-talk, he’s got plenty of good stories, and a consistently stoked attidude.

Dude will go bowling with you or go “bowling” with you depending on how you’re feeling.

Every bro has their bro, and every bro knows it’s ok to love sometimes. No homo, man.

LUKE WINKIE

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

17

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PUNK IS NOT DEAD THE COURT OF SLAM ALOT KEEPS THE FERAL ROCK EXPERIENCE ALIVE MUSIC SPILLS OUT OF EVERY CORNER of game of “Who-Can-Cross-Their-Arms-forthis city. Walking down the street, it’s hard the-Longest-Period-of-Time,” Slam Alot is a not to stumble into a drum set or someone fresh breath of sweat-riddled moshpit air. strumming a banjo. However, there are few “The fact that bands are playing in venues in Austin that allow you to have a shared these people’s living room just brings experience with bands themselves. At The everything down to earth. There’s an Court of Slam Alot, a house up in the northwest authenticity to the place that commercial Hyde Park area, music fans and bands alike venues just can’t recreate,” said Begnaud. trade sweat, Lone Stars, and community.

The place’s passion towards engendering a Started by UT Alumni Brian musical community is no doubt Chambleen and Katie Ford, The displayed in the ways that Court of Slam Alot is a living Slam Alot operates. Fans room space that plays host that attend shows at to punk bands from all Slam Alot only pay THERE’S AN over the country. Fans a five dollar cover AUTHENTICITY TO THE from all age groups and charge, no matter PLACE THAT COMMERCIAL taste brackets converge if the band is from frequently on this space Timbuktu or San VENUES JUST CAN’T to commune.

Marcos.

RECREATE. Even though most music “I try and make fans enjoy heading down sure that everyone to Red River and taking part is having a good time; in the alcohol-infused madness, everyone that comes to sometimes the actual musical experience shows here is either a friend or can often get lost amongst the fashionable soon-to-be acquaintance,” said Slam Alot posturing, rattling of beer bottles, and Head of Operations Brian Chamblee. “Also, talking bar patrons.The vibe at Slam Alot one hundred percent of the door money offers a more sincere space for music. goes to the bands.”

“The live music experience is so Chamblee and the rest of the Slam Alot commercialized in Austin that it becomes court strip rock music of all its unnecessary routine, and people working at venues and trappings and artifices, leaving just the even many concert-goers lose the passion essentials. At the same time, Slam Alot blurs of the experience,” said Slam Alot regular the distinction between performer and Jaythan Begnaud. audience to the point where the physical Likewise, for those tired of playing the and energetic nature of the music is palpable

18

February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photo: Kelly Zoo

through the intimacy of the space and the genuine conviction of those playing it.

“It is a much more personal experience here: bands are playing on the floor only a few inches away from the crowd,” said Chamblee.

The venue plays host to bands of varying genres, but the style of music that is most prevalent at Slam Alot is hardcore punk. The music comes at you hard, out of cheap gear.

And for many, the physical nature of the music delves into emotional territory that others dare not tread.

“Hardcore punk music, for me, is a physical release which is directly related to an emotional release,” said Chamblee. “One of the great aspects of the genre is the intensity and transparency of the bands playing. You can immediately tell if a band is into playing that night or not, unlike ‘indie’ rock shows where the band looks uninterested every time they play.”

Even though more kids are finding emotional outlets through the madness and intensity of noise music, hardcore punk will always carry a sense of passion and engagement, one that more youth are embracing as societal unrest increases every day.

“I think hardcore will always be relevant as long as there are angry, young, working-class people or young people who just want to have a good time,” said Begnaud. “Considering the Occupy Wall Street movement and the implosion of global markets, I can only expect more hardcore to come.”

WILLIAM BASS

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

Eric James Borges took his own life just one month after creating a video campaign to prevent gay bullying.

HANDLING HOMOPHOBIA

THERE’S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY

GAY FILMMAKER ERIC JAMES BORGEs was the your eyes. If someone says something or does voice of many gay teens who have experienced something that makes you question your selfthe ups and downs of leading a gay life. In worth or choices regarding your sexuality or particular, he focused on something many of gender presentation, chances are you agree us have experienced regardless of our sexual or with them, however subconsciously.

Whatever you care about has the capacity gender orientation, bullying.

As a gay teen, Borges frequently experienced to hurt you. Look at what specific instances of homophobic bullying and physical assaults homophobia cause you pain, figure out why from his peers that affected him so severely and figure out how to forgive and forget. that he decided to do something about it. His proactive decision led to “It Gets Better,” a video TAKE THE HIGH ROAD campaign that spreads a message of hope and In the moment, it’s easy to want to snap back and fight or to simply retreat into your tortoise inspiration to the LGBTQ community.

Yet just one month after the campaign went shell until the storm passes. It’s even tempting to want to “educate” people on the viral, the young Borges, who was only “right” way to view and react to 19, committed suicide. Friends and homosexuality. But if someone family of Borges were shocked “HOMOPHOBIA has the audacity to make and saddened. After being CAN CROP UP IN homophobic comments bullied by his classmates and in mixed company, they’re rejected by his “extremist MANY DIFFERENT WAYS probably not open to a Christian family”, Borges

BY MANY DIFFERENT philosophical debate on the couldn’t take being outcast PEOPLE.” nature of queer libido. Unless and ostracized any longer. you come across others who are Borges’ death comes on the genuinely open and curious about heels of the suicide of 14-year-old these subjects, just remember to hold your head Jamey Rodemeyer after a similar experience in connection to gay bulling. His suicide even touched up high, but don’t stick your nose in the air. the heart of Lady Gaga, who then championed the cause of ending gay bullying, and going so far as to KEEP YOUR DISTANCE The most important thing to remember when say that gay slurs should be illegal.

Homophobia can crop up in many different dealing with homophobia is to stay safe. ways by many different people. Even people Whether confronted by a severe outburst who are “OK” with gays and the gay lifestyle may of anti-gay rhetoric or an under-the-breath from time to time display anti-gay sentiments comment, it’s always best to take the safe or become angered or confused by gender route. This is especially true when dealing with presentation. Even if you aren’t gay, chances are seemingly straight men. For whatever reason, you’ll come across homophobia at some point. so-called straight men have the propensity for becoming physically enraged by the thought When that happens, just take a deep breath. of gay blowjobs (probably because it turns IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S THEM them on so much).

The reason homophobic or ciscentric comments While it’s important to stand up for yourself, or attitudes may hurt so deeply is because keep in mind that there’s always the threat of there might be some truth to them, at least in physical retaliation. For safety’s sake, know

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February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

HUDSPETH COUNTY BECOMES KNOWN FOR BUSTING CELEBRITY POTHEADS, AMONG OTHER THINGS ALTHOUGH NOT KNOWN for much else, Hudspeth County has become notorious for busting marijuana-toting celebrities.

From music icons Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg to The Social Network’s Armie Hammer, the West Texas city has been enjoying the publicity. More recently, the county will become known for something else: Steven Seagal. After filming a new movie in Canada, the actor is expected to help patrol the Hudspeth County area, and train colleagues in martial arts and weapons techniques. So if you don’t want Mr. Seagal to karate chop your car in half, stash your marijuana and other illegal substances properly.

SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW WILL FEATURE MADONNA AND M.I.A.; WHAT WILL HAPPEN THIS TIME? SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOWS have become much more unpredictable throughout the years. Since Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction back in 2004, those in charge of the event have since played it safer, although we can all agree that 2011’s halftime performance could’ve easily been improved by alternative means (when in doubt, flash it out). For this year’s performance, pop superstar Madonna hopes to deal away with the controversy caused by past acts, but considering she’s being accompanied by rebellious songstress M.I.A., who knows what will happen.

when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. Once you’re out and about, you’ll start to become confronted with homophobia of all varieties more often and with no end in sight. So meditate upon your desired response to this acute form of hatred and practice it until it becomes second nature, take the time heal your wounds when another hurts you, and learn to forgive.

AMANDA CHAPPEL

KANSAS HOUSE SPEAKER CALLS FOR UNTIMELY DEATH OF PRESIDENT AS IF KANSAS HOUSE SPEAKER Mike O’Neal didn’t learn his lesson when he referred to First Lady Michelle Obama as “Mrs. YoMama” in an email sent to GOP colleagues, O’Neal returns with an even more controversial issue. The Republican representative recently sent out another email to GOP colleagues, advising them to endorse a controversial prayer that seems to call for President Obama’s untimely death.

Taken from Psalm 108:9, the prayer reads, “Let his days be few; and let another take office.” The real controversy arises in the next verse of Psalm 109, which continues, “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.” Although O’Neal’s office has insisted that the psalm’s use was only referring to the first segment, O’Neal’s statement continues to prove one thing: parts of our nation are still being run by absolute dumbasses.

ELI WATSON

If you’re experiencing bullying on campus related to your sexual orientation, you could be in danger. Don’t hesitate to call campus police or make an appointment with an on-campus counselor.

Emergency: 911 UTPD: 512-471-4441 UT Counseling and Mental Health: 512-471-3515

ARRYN ZECH

THE WORLD OF GAMING is coming into new heights and technologies this year with new consoles being released and new platforms being explored. We’re just one step closer to being in a present-day Futurama. Not really, but it sounds cool, right?

STEAM ON THE GO

access to those popular Steam sales.

“The Steam app comes from many direct requests from our customers. … Mobile is changing the way people interact, play games and consume media, and the Steam app is a part of our commitment to meet customer demands and expand the service functionality of Steam to make it richer and more accessible for everyone.”

I’ve already signed myself up for the beta list, but I’m not expecting it to be perfect once the application comes out for the public.

Regardless of possible imperfections though, I do think that this is a brilliant idea on Valve and Steam’s part. The app is free but offers so much more accessibility.

Valve, as well as technologies like Steam and Source, has sent out an official press release on January 26 confirming a mobile application for Andorid and iOS devices.

The application is still a closed beta, but by downloading the app and signing-in, you express your interest in joining the beta and will possibly be selected as room becomes available.

The application won’t be able to offer you games that you’d play on your computer (I can’t imagine There are an incredible amount the quality or playability of rumors going around would be any “OUR SOURCE about this new Xbox, good), but rather DIDN’T TELL US THE which is being dubbed make available the “Xbox 720,” as the to you other MACHINE WOULD actual name of the new features that PERMANENTLY AND console has yet to be you’d regularly IRREVOCABLY BAR THE released. access with One of the more your computer.

PLAYING OF SECOND-HAND prominent and According to Gabe GAMES,” SAID enraging rumors is the Newell, co-founder KOTAKU Xbox 720s used-game and president of Valve, policy. According to Kotaku, the Steam application the console will make it not will include features like impossible, but difficult for someone viewing online friends, sending and receiving messages, viewing screenshots to share games with friends or reselling from upcoming games, and getting instant the game to stores like GameStop. On

BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW XBOX

the surface this seems really scummy and reeks of corporate greed, but if you really think about it, it’s more of an assistance to game creators and publishers. Instead of spending the money, time, and effort into the anti-piracy codes written on each game (mind you, I don’t know how that works), it would be universal and tied into the console itself. More of an umbrella effect.

“Our source didn’t tell us the machine would permanently and irrevocably bar the playing of second-hand games,” said Kotaku, writer for Luke Plunkett. “Just that there’d be measures in place to prevent it.

No company would lock a machine from ever letting you borrow a game, or ever trade one in. There’d be too much resistance from consumers for the former and from both consumers and retailers for the latter.”

The new console is also said to have a new controller being made, a smaller one.

I’m not sure why they feel the need to tweak the current controller, as it seems perfect as it is. Then again, I’m not really sure why they feel the need to come out with a new console either.

In competition with rival Sony, the new Xbox will play Blu-Ray discs. Nothing has been said on whether it will just be Blu-Ray compatible or if it will only play Blu-Rays.

If this is the case, prepare yourself for a switch like Xbox to the 360 again, complete with games that may or may not work with your new system.

The new console is set to be released in 2013.

ARRYN ZECH UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

21

THE

TE DEOFBA THE

DALL AS MAVERICKS LET’S FACE IT, it was easy to be

feels good. How could you not hope that Dirk and Kidd

a Mavs fan last year, and not just

would get their rings? But the championship is won, the

because we live in Texas. Taking down the

honeymoon is over, and Lamar Odom is not producing.

big bad Heat with a mostly no-name group

So we ask you, UT, are the Mavs overrated or underrated?

of three-point scorers? Stuff like that just

LUKE WINKIE

Photo: Keith Allison

HOW DOES THAT LAMAR ODOM TRADE FEEL A MONTH IN? t Last time I checked we only gave up a pick, I don’t care. –Ian Mack

t He’s like the Ochocinco of the Mavs. –Barry Love

t As long as it means the Lakers have less of a chance to win games. –Timothy Forque

t I’m just saying, Kobe has been playing better since he left.

–James Tommers

t He’ll get better. Men don’t disappear after an off-season just like that. Maybe he just needs to lose some weight? –Henry Ellis

t I blame the Kardashian. –Mitch Coply

IS DIRK NOWITZKI STILL A TOP FIVE PLAYER? t Doesn’t matter, he’s got a ring. –Ian Mack t Absolutely, saying he isn’t is completely cynical. –Jeremiah Yates t His performance in the finals earns him a very, very long honeymoon. –Henry Ellis

t He isn’t even a top five player in the West. –Barry Love t He would be if the Mavs weren’t looking really irrelevant right now. –Cedric Gio t Derrick Rose, LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Kobe Bryant, and, oh yeah, Dirk Nowitzki.

–James Tommers

HOW BADLY DO THE MAVS MISS TYSON CHANDLER? t Given how bad the Knicks are right now, probably not that badly. –Jeremiah Yates

t A lot. Our refusal to resign anyone is making this a real irrelevant season. –Mitch Coply

t Wake me up when Amar’e starts performing. –Barry Love t Marion plays more defense than the entire state of New York.

–James Tommers

t When you have a heavily-tattooed goliath in the middle of the paint, you’re generally going to play better. –Luke Winkie

DO THE MAVS HAVE ANY CHANCE AT REPEATING THIS YEAR?

22

t As long as the Raptors have a chance to make the playoffs anything is possible. –James Tommers

t If your team is giving Vince Carter significant minutes, you’re not winning the championship. –Sean Highkin

t It’s not like people didn’t doubt us last year! –Henry Ellis

t I don’t even think we want to repeat. –Stephen Smith

t IN CARLISLE WE TRUST! –Credric Gio

t My heart says yes but my brain says no. –Phil Torre

February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photos: Eli Watson

LEARNING SECRET S @BE AUT Y BAR

TRE ASURE FINGERS SHOW OMEGA DELTA PHI PARTY

OMEGA DELTA PHI PARTY TRE ASURE FINGERS SHOW

OMEGA DELTA PHI PARTY

TRE ASURE FINGERS SHOW UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

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Photos:Arryn Ze

A

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CALLING GREEKS EVENTS

THE STAGE2

CHUPACABRA

508 East Six th Street

400 East Sixth Street

fundrai

sers

ropy

th philan

THE LOCAL

BESO CANTINA

2610 Guadalupe Street

307 B West 5th Street

CHUPACABRA 400 East Sixth Street

advertise with THE STAGE 508 East Sixth Street *If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! Contact us Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!)

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Photos:Arryn Ze

THE LOCAL 2610 Guadalupe Street

THE STAGE

BESO CANTINA

508 East Sixth Street

307 B West 5th Street

CHUPACABRA 400 East Sixth Street

You’re this week’s winner!

Come to our office to collect $25!*

THE LOCAL 2610 Guadalupe Street

FOR MORE PARTY PICS, GO TO UWEEKLYAUSTIN.COM. UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1. 2012 25

Super Crossword

Crypto Quip

CLUE: D EQUALS E

This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

26

PUNBLICATIONS

February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Sudoku

HOUR BAND HOUR BAND SAT DOWN WITH UWEEKLY to discuss why they decided to debut their band during South by Southwest Music Festival (SXSW) and what to expect on their upcoming album, Only, which will be released on Feb. 2 at Stubb’s.

I read your bio that you debuted during SXSW 2008. Was that your first show ever?

Moshe Prystowsky: It was kind of funny for us. Well we debuted as a three-piece with just Barak, Karthik and I. We played one show which was called Presley Palooza.

That was our first show. It was a benefit for a little girl who had cancer, and we raised a good bit of money.

Then our first official show was during SXSW though. We had played one other show before SXSW 2008, but we kinda of have a family of artists here in Austin. Over the time that we’ve been here, we’ve become really good friends with Gary Clark Jr., Phranchyze, Electric Touch and a bunch of other bands, so every SXSW, we put on a little show just with our friends’ bands. In 2008, it was the first time we’ve ever done that, and we did it.

“WHEN YOU COME TO OUR SHOWS, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE FUN. WHEN WE’RE PLAYING, WE’RE GOING TO HAVE FUN.” Well most bands don’t debut during SXSW. They practice and they play shows around Austin. Then they do an unofficial or official showcase. How did that come about?

MP: We (Manjeri and Prystowsky) went to school together, and then Barak moved down from Houston. We met and we started jamming. We started playing together. We all wanted to play music. None of us had been playing music that long. We’d all been in, like, one or two other bands.

I think it just all came together because of how great Austin is. Karthik’s brother manages Gary Clark Jr. and Phranchyze, and he knew that we had been playing and jamming and writing songs and was like, “Hey, why don’t you guys play a show?” We were like, “Of course, we’ll

play a show,” and it just happened to be SXSW. Karthik Manjeri: We always played together as friends over the years.

It was like, “Why don’t we play in a band and start playing shows now?” That was a perfect opportunity for us to get in front of people and start doing it. Go through the motions and feel the vibe of actually playing a live show. We were always practicing over the years, and that was just the opportunity to arise at the right time. It was like all right, let’s just go for it.

Let’s do it.

How did Brian get thrown into this line up?

Brian Palmer: I was waiting tables in Houston, Texas and read this book by Michael Gladwell called Outliers, and it talked about practice mixed with opportunity. I was talking about life with a bunch of my tables. I didn’t know what to do. It was a really horrible day at work, and then Barak called me and he’s like, “I need you to come to Austin and play in our band.” Then all these lights flashed in my head. I was like, “All right, that’s what I need to do.

That’s what I’m going to do.” So I quit my job, dropped out of school and moved to Austin. At first, I would ride the greyhound back and forth for two days every week. I lived three and a half days in Austin and went back home to Houston and then I finally slept on their floors for, like, two months.

KM: Brian actually played in a band with Barak in high school.

You’re releasing an album. I read that it’s the last part of a three-part series.

MP: Basically what we’ve done is we released two EPs up to now, and then this is the last part of it. As a band, we’ve all been playing together for about five years, and then Brian for the last year and a half. So this really caps off the

beginning of our band. It captures all the moments of us going through our lives, whatever it was at those times.

We got really lucky with this album. We recorded most of it at Public Hi-Fi, which is Jim Eno’s (Spoon) studio.

We worked with Brad Bell, who was a great engineer, and he actually ended up helping us produce some of it.

Then we got to work with great artists like Mark (Zuazua from) Mofoz to really put together the artwork for it. Our artwork is a great story. We couldn’t figure out what we wanted to do for the album. So we’re like, “Let’s just do everything and then take something from that.” We sat down with Mark, and for about two months, the four of us and Mark put together this collage. It’s literally six to seven hundred layers of everything we can think of that’s ever inspired us with different cities and, of course, Austin and the cities where we’re all from having representation, and all the people in popular culture that have influenced us. We did that and from there it became our cover, and all our inserts are heavily inspired by it.

We decided to take this attitude that we want our music to be fun. When you come to our shows, we’re going to have fun. When we’re playing, we’re going to have fun.

We wanted to figure out a way to make it so when you listen to our album, it was fun. So we have some fun games in there.

Is that’s why it’s in a DVD cover?

MP: Yeah, we just didn’t have enough space on the CD case to really get everything we wanted.

BP: It was too awesome to fit into one CD case. Gotta go DVD. SARAH VASQUEZ UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

27

WEDNESDAY

NERD NIGHT:

THURSDAY

ACTION PACK PRESENTS:

SEX NITE CONFESSIONS

MOULIN ROUGE SING-ALONG

@ ND, 501 Brushy St

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

For most students, nights aren’t really a time to be nerdy. They are a time to wash all that was learned in the course of a day away in a bath of beer, video games and junk food. However, these nights can become tedious, and your brain might feel like it wants to learn some fun and interesting things after the sun has gone down. Don’t fear any fractals, though, for this Nerd Night is about the least nerdy thing ever: sex. Three different speakers will provide information on the art of cybersex, non-monogamy, and sexual education. Nerds rule!

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. This tired aphorism best applies to musicals. Some people can’t stand them. Now it is time to embrace them. There is no better movie to get started on your musical journey than Moulin Rouge. One of the biggest musical successes of the late 20th century, Moulin Rouge is a spectacle to behold. So put on those fancy pants, warm up those vocal chords, and put on your favorite wig; it’s time to find your inner diva at this sing-along!

FRIDAY

SMOKE AND FEATHERS @ Mohawk, 912 Red River

A psychedelic phoenix that drank too much Kentucky Deluxe: that is the animal form of Smoke and Feathers. Luckily for you they will be in their human bodies at this show (they don’t want to burn anybody). These southern chooglers crank out some of the crunchiest jams since the man himself, Captain Crunch. Combining southern rock with a psychedelic penchant, Smoke and Feathers will quell your need to yell “Freebird!” at every concert you attend.

Tickets: At the door

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

Tickets: At the door

ALSO WORTHY

The top events & shows in Austin this week WILL BASS 28

ALSO WORTHY

Weird Wednesday: The Black Angels

The Zoltars

Warren Hood

Phranchyze

Jeff Lofton Quartet (Jazz)

Dam Funk

Har Mar Superstar

Marshall Ford Swing Band

Hound & Fox

Bruce Smith

Alamo at the Ritz, 320 E 6th

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Mohawk, 912 Red River Beauty Bar, 617 E 7th

Beerland, 711 Red River Stubb’s, 601 Red River Beauty Ballroom, 2015 Riverside The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Skinny’s Ballroom

ALSO WORTHY

Mudphonic

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Gospel Truth

Beerland, 711 Red River

The Late Show: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Steady Legend

Swan Dive, 615 Red River

’80s Dance Party

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

February 1, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

TRENDY classy

open 7 days a week

2815 gu adalup

e st

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY

ROCK N ROLL KARAOKE @ Beerland, 711 Red River

It is time to act like a rock star: Take down too many drinks at the bar, make out with a couple of girls within your immediate reach, get on stage and belt out your favorite tunes, and then proceed to pass out in a pool of your own vomit.

EASTSIDE SOUL NIGHT @ Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

Two of Austin’s funkiest bands will be throwing it down at Hotel Vegas. Hardproof will no doubt get the party, and rear ends, moving with their deft take on afrobeat, a genre of music that combines African rhythms, jazz, and funk music. Roxy Roca will then proceed to cool you down with their infectious R&B stylings, something for your lady friend. Bring extra inserts for your dancing shoes, it is gonna be a long night.

PAINTING WITH A TWIST:

VAN GOGH TREE

@ Painting with a Twist, 8820 Burnett

After watching Bob Ross paint those happy trees all of your life, it is finally time to grow your own afro and become a creepy fine artist. Painting with a Twist is a casual BYOB painting class. You bring beer and thirty five clams, and a professional artist will guide you through the process of creating your version of a tree in the style of Vincent Van Gogh. You can finally put that studio art degree to work.

Tickets: www.paintingwithatwist.com/events/viewEvent. aspx?eventID=48935, or call ahead

ALSO WORTHY

The Jealous Sound

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Jeremy Jay

Stubb’s, 801 Red River

TUESDAY

TERROR TUESDAY:

PHANTASM 2

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

ALSO WORTHY

King Khan and the Shrines Mohawk, 912 Red River

ALSO WORTHY

Riotgod

Mohawk, 912 Red River

It is always Halloween at the Alamo Ritz on Tuesday. For only a dollar, you can experience laughter and fright, but mostly laughter at these terrible horror movies.

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

Demetri Martin

Kiddo & the Dude

G Love and Special Sauce

Action Pack Presents: Burlesque in Hecklevision

Copy Cats

Lightnin Malcom

Gospel Brunch: Bells of Joy

Tittie Bingo

Gobi

Junior Brown

Greg Enlow (Strange Boys)

Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress ND, 501 Brushy St

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Stubb’s, 801 Red River

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

ALSO WORTHY Beauty Bar, 617 E 7th The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Trailer Space, 1401 Rosewood

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

29

PLUCKERS

TOUCHE

2222 Rio Grande

417 E 6th

Mother Plucker Mugs

$1 Schnapps

CHUGGIN’ MONKEY

CAIN AND ABEL’S

219 E 6th

2313 Rio Grande

$2 wells/domestics

$8 32 oz. Texas Teas from 7 PM-close

BLIND PIG

407 E 6th

$2.50 wells/domestics

$1 domestics/wells, $2 imported bottles

DARWIN’S PUB

SHAKESPEARE’S PUB

223 E 6th

317 E 6th

$2 Wells/Domestics 12-9 PM

$4 bombs

TRUDY’S

MOOSEKNUCKLE PUB

409 W 30th

406 E 6th

$4.95 Sangria-ritas

$2 Wells/Domestics til 11 PM

MALAIA

300 E 6th

$2 Domestic Beers, $2 Wells til 11 PM

THE GINGER MAN

THE LIBRARY 407 EAST 6TH STREET

THE LIBRARY

317 E 6th

TOUCHE

417 E 6th

IN AUSTIN we like to keep things ironic, which is why a bar named after the last place you’d probably want to be on a Saturday night would be such a huge success. Whatever the reason, however, The Library on Dirty Sixth is a popular fixture in the Austin bar scene and it plans to stay there for a while.

Even on a crowded night, there’s generally enough space to get around as it has two floors and even a series of booths upstairs. But the real novelty comes in The Library’s enormous book shelf behind its main bar. Even if a book is the last thing you’d want to see when you’re seeing double, there’s just something about seeing a whole collection of them in a bar setting surrounded by a bunch of people that will just put a smile on your face. So go get some studying done today so you can go to The Library this weekend, got it?

BRIAN BOGART

$1 schnapps

BIKINI’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL

CUATROS

301 Lavaca

6901 I-35

1004 W 24th

Service Industry Night

$4 Big Daddy Drafts

$2 Tecates and Modelo Esp. $5 Deer and Beer

PURE

LAVACA ST. BAR

RAIN ON 4TH

419 E. 6th

405 Lavaca

217 W 4th

.25¢ wells all night

Big Beer Mondays. $6 25oz

$1.50 Lite Beers, $2.50 Wells

CUBA LIBRE

BLIND PIG

MAGGIE MAE’S

409 Colorado

317 E 6th

323 E 6th

$2 Wells

$2.50 Wells/Domestics

$2 Wells

COMING SOON THURSDAYS

for more details visit: UWEEKLYAUSTIN.com

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