UWeekly Austin February 8, 2012 by Jess Pendleton

WIN

JEWELRY FROM COTONE & FROCK ON PG 4

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FEB 8, 2012

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VOL 4 ISSUE 04

February 08, 2012

Be Safe:

Thunder Vs. Heat:

Bromance:

UWeekly Sits Down

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

UWeekly Answers Your Sports Questions

Spending V-Day With Your Best Guy Friends

With Dalles

Photo: Eli Watson Cover photo: Eli Watson

Looking to find the perfect gift for that special someone but don’t want to have to go very far from campus? We’ve prepared a list of kick-ass places to scout out just the gift you’re looking for.

Only been dating a few months? Not to worry. Some of the simplest and greatest gifts can be found just down the drag near 31st at the Nature Salon and Spa. The spa offers a variety of treatments from Swedish and hot stone massages, manicure/pedicure appointments, and even bikini waxes. That last one you both can enjoy. A gift certificate for a relaxing day at the spa could be just what your lady needs after spending hours studying. They offer many different service packages in a multitude of price ranges so you can find the perfect fit for you and your lady.

I don’t know if you’ve all noticed, but a cute little frozen yogurt shop has popped up on the drag called Campus Candy and Yogurt Bar. What you didn’t know, though, is that they have walls and walls of candy. Walking into this place is like walking into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but on a slightly smaller scale. Both walls are covered with assorted candies, all organized by type and color. One wall holds rows of chocolates while the other side of the room features a rainbow of gummy candy. In the back of the store, they offer

wrapped candy and novelty candy like baby bottle pops and suckers. Some of the cuter, more Valentine’s-y candies they offer are chocolate roses that can be bought by the flower or even in a dozen. If you really know what your partner loves, you can personalize a bag of yummy treats just for them, because who doesn’t love candy?

For those valentines that are a little more unconventional, Frock On Vintage is the perfect place to shop and find a fun and unique

Street vendor jewelry is a stable on the drag and a good way to shop local

Campus Candy and Yogurt bar has all the sweets you need to get away with last minute gift buying

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

gift. The little shop’s prices can’t be beat. For something on the sweeter side, Frock has a case full of interesting jewelry for your quirky lady-friend. Little pink rose earrings, a necklace with a pressed flower inside, a gold ring with multicolored stones; the possibilities of a great find is endless. If you’re looking for something a little sassier, one of the racks of vintage clothing includes a section of lingerie and frilly negligees to transform your girlfriend into a pin-up girl from the 20s. Frock On Vintage also of fers a wide variety of belts, hats, and clothing for the girl that likes to have a little fun with her wardrobe.

Under the Venue apartments sits Cotone, a little shop that sells fashions from Italy that ranges from sparkly bandeau

bras to cute and light tanks and scarves. Looking through the window, you might think Cotone is a little pricey, but once inside you’ll find the prices to be more reasonable than some of their longer-standing Drag competitors. Cotone also offers locally made jewelry

with unique designs, perfect for the girl with simple tastes ranging from rings with pink stones to dangle earrings with sterling silver accents. Cotone is perfect for the girl with a little bit of a higher fashion taste, but enjoys the simple and clean looks.

In the Renaissance across the street from campus stand tons of street vendors that sell trinkets perfect for the artsy girl in your life. While one vendor sells bags made of fabric of all sorts, just a few steps away another vendor sells jewelry made with old coins from around the world. And who can forget that guy who gives the “pretty girl special” with his rows and rows of handmade necklaces and bracelets with interesting charms? The prices of the vendors run pretty cheap too, considering you’re paying for handmade crafts. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be hard and you don’t have to look too far to find some of the best gifts in Austin for your little lady. Just take a stroll down the drag. photos and story by Arryn Zech

CUS TO M GU RUNNING TO ID ED URS CityRunningTours.com

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

become even more complex. Bost goes on to list examples of women in Afghanistan being stoned to death after being raped or being forced to marry her rapist. But it’s not just women who are raped, as the rape and sexual assault of men and boys happens quite frequently. In a lot of ways, the rape of a man is much harder to deal with because of the shame and stigma attached to it. “It’s harder for males,” said Bost. She also goes on to explain that the same stigma occurs for same-sex couples whether the assault occurs between two men or two women.

Sex and violence

Throwing the book at them

The dark side of dating According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey of 2010, one in three women in the US have survived violence in an intimate relationship. 75% of people ages 16-24 living in Texas have experienced dating violence, reports the Texas Council on Family Violence in a 2006 statewide survey. Over 72% of women who have been raped were raped while they were intoxicated, suggests a Journal of Alcohol Studies. What people might not understand about these staggering statistics is that the majority of women (and men) who have been raped or sexually assaulted have been the victims of acquaintances or someone they were dating. According to Associate Director of the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center Dr. Jane Morgan Bost, Ph.D., only a small percentage of all rapes and sexual assaults are perpetrated by strangers and anywhere from 80-85% of rapes and sexual assaults occur in intimate partner relationships.

Technical glitch Since 2000, the University of Texas has not had one rape case reported to its police department. With a university that has upwards of 50,000 students during any given semester and with national statistics believing 1 in 3 women have been raped or sexually assaulted, it’s hard to assume that UT has an unusually non-violent and pristine student body. With discrepancies this large, there must be more to the story.

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

For one, as the University of Texas’ Police Department’s Sgt. Laura Davis points out, much of UT’s student population live off campus; therefore, UTPD’s jurisdiction is restricted to on-campus housing and the actual campus property. If an assault occurs within UT’s jurisdiction, then UTPD handles the case; but if not, then it falls under the jurisdiction of the Austin Police Department. “If it did not happen on campus, it’s not our jurisdiction,” said Sgt. Davis. “APD would handle it. Most sexual assaults do not happen on campus.”

80-85% of rapes and sexual assaults occur in intimate partner relationships. Secondly, as Dr. Bost points out, a large percentage of survivors don’t report the crime for a number of reasons. “There’s a lot of reasons why it’s difficult” to report a sexual assault and many different reasons why so many women and men choose not to report the crime. “Our culture tends to question or assume that the victim was at fault for the assault,” said Bost. “It can be enormously painful to have the assault then go public.” Understanding why most women choose not

to report rapes and others assaults at all can be baffling but rooted in a certain type of logic. “They still might want to continue having a personal relationship or they don’t want the person to get in trouble,” said Bost. “If they blame him- or herself, they aren’t going to report.” Since so many assaults occur by acquaintances or romantic partners, the victim’s social circles will most likely continue to overlap the attacker’s long after the assalut. “We suggest you make a report,” said Sgt. Davis, as anyone who sexually attacks another will typically repeat that behavior in the future. If the attacker already has a record, it will be easier for the courts to prosecute them. Given that, it might be even harder to understand the exact psychology behind the “blaming the victim” phenomena that occurs in cases dealing with the rape of women. Bost is quick to point out that this phenomena has permeated most maleoriented cultures for thousands of years and that most of it is rooted in issues of power and control. “It’s not just American culture,” said Bost. “This has been going on for thousands of years. Historically, men have held more power than women have.” Although that’s changing, we’re still dealing with gender discrimination even in this modern age via stereotypes and salary discrepancies. Add ethnic and cultural expectations to the mix, and the issues may

Filing a police report of violent sexual crimes is a choice, and it’s a choice that only the victim can make. Yet, to report such a crime can prove to be quite re-traumatizing, as the victim will be forced to go to court, sit on the stand and recount the crime countless times. The quality of their character and personal history will also be questioned. Unfortunately, as an accuser, the burden of proof is on the victim. “The court has not been kind” to these types of victims, says Bost. That’s why collecting physical evidence is so important in cases of sexual assault. If DNA and other physical evidence isn’t collected within 120 hours of the attack, almost all legal repercussions and rights of the victim will be lost. There’s also a very specific physical exam that needs to take place, and that’s the Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE). In fact, evidence collected during the SAFE exam is the only evidence permissible in court. The SAFE exam is also conducted by a specially trained nurse known as a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE).

UT to the rescue Whether a sexual assault occurs on the UT campus or within Austin city limits, there’s really only one place to get a SAFE by a SANE, and that’s at St. David’s. Once DNA and other physical evidence have been collected and the process of filing a police report has begun, students of UT, both male and female, have a host of other resources available to help them cope both physically and mentally with the attack. They can even request that the administration of UT look into the matter and request administrative sanctions upon the attacker. To do this, the victim would have to

go through the Dean of Students; they can be reached at 512-471-5017. The best way to deal with rape and sexual assault is to do all you can to prevent it. That’s why the UTPD hosts Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) System classes for both men and women. The RAD class is a three-day course dedicated to personal safety and can be taken by anyone in any physical condition. “We teach you easy techniques that anyone can use,” said Sgt. Davis. “It’s easy to remember, easy to use.” To sign up for a class, visit utexas.edu/police/rad/register/ Bost also emphasizes that UT’s Counseling and Mental Health services are there to pick up where the court and other institutions might have failed. “We have therapists that have specialized experience in sexual assault and stalking,” said Bost. But “all counselors can see a sexual assault victim.” While all the therapists at CMHC are equipped to see sexual assault victims, it’s usually more comforting to see a specialist. UT also has physical services available to victims including resources to obtain medicine. If you or someone you know has been attacked, please do not hesitate to call the police or UTPD. If you have been attacked in the past but chose not to report it, please lend your help to the community of rape victims by taking part in events like Take Back the Night or speaking out against sexual violence. Amanda Chappel

Keeping You Safe • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Here are a few tips and tricks to stay safe Walk with only one earphone in Travel in numbers Let others know where you are going and when you’ll be back Keep a cell phone charged and on you at all times Moderate alcohol intake Carry mace Be aware of your surroundings Have a buddy system Walk with confidence Make eye contact Take a self-defense class Learn to yell, loudly Trust your Instincts

It’s National Self-Love Month No, not that kind of self-love UWeekly’s Good Deeds section is typically dedicated to helping others, but this time, it’s all about you, baby. That’s right. During this month of love, it’s time to turn the tables and focus on you. In honor of National Self-Love Month, we’re bringing you an almost endless list of questions to ask yourself as you up the barometer on your sense and expression of self-love. But first, we must ask ourselves the question: What is selflove? Is it eating that extra slice of chocolate cake simply because you want to? Is it masturbating all hours of the day because you’re just that horny? Is it having warm, fuzzy feelings for yourself in an non-erotic way? Let us explore.

large as a whole new set of furniture. Either way, your home (even in college) is where you rest, relax and reset. There’s no reason to live in a shit hole if you can help it.

Work Does your job suck? Do you dread when the alarm goes off? Even if you’re just trying to make some extra cash to pay for books, you should still enjoy where you work and your coworkers. If you can’t change what type of work you do, you can change the environment. Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to work abusive, shitty jobs because of the economy.

Love thyself

Family

Self-love, according to Wikipedia, is “the strong sense of respect for and confidence in oneself.” It’s different than narcissism in the sense that it doesn’t stem from a sense of superiority, and self-love always takes others into consideration. In a culture that’s obsessed with selling you products to make you look better, feel better or live better, it’s no wonder why so many of us feel inadequate just as we are. Through a multi-billion dollar advertising industry, as a nation and society, we’ve been brainwashed into thinking we’re deficient, defective beings. But this simply isn’t true! Let’s break down some ways to infuse selflove into all areas of our life, shall we?

Do you have a lot of hurt, pain and anger stored up inside of you relating to your family? Maybe your mom was smothering or maybe you had an absentee dad. What’s your relationship with your siblings? Although it’s true that you can’t change the past, or other people, you can change how you view the situations of your life. Nothing says “self-love” better than systematically ridding yourself of old hurt, anger and unforgiving feelings you might have towards your family or childhood. You’d be surprised how much time and vital energy it takes to stay angry at someone, especially a family member. Seek therapy, write in a journal, meditate, pray, punch a punching bag. Whatever it takes, just do what you have to do to reach a place of flow and acceptance.

Home Is your home neat and organized? Do you live with people you like and care about? Do you enjoy the part of town, city or state you live in? If not, something needs to change. With an event as large as moving, very rarely is it easy to just pack your bags and leave. If you want to move, start brainstorming and planning now. If your nest needs some revamping, start small. Slowly clear out clutter, organize and donate all the items you don’t want or need anymore. Then, once you’ve made adequate space in your life, start bringing in things that make you happy. It could be something as simple as a new lamp or some candles, or as

Friends Are they a good influence on you? Do they bore you out of your mind? Do you have any, especially close, friendships? College is a notoriously social time in people’s lives, yet one of the leading reasons for depression in the US is the feeling of loneliness and isolation. If you’ve been uprooted from your home and separated from your friends, mourn the loss, but then take steps to build a new support system for yourself. While it may take time and dedication, having a solid foundation of reliable, supportive friends

Good Deeds

in your life can enrich your experiences beyond measure. Simple, benign things take on a whole new meaning when shared with friends. Think of it this way: friends make you laugh; friends make you smile. It’s hard to feel depressed or lonely when you’re laughing and smiling.

Body How do you treat your body? Do you abuse it with food, drugs or sex? Do you exercise regularly and eat sensibly? Sometimes when we are angry or disappointed with life, we can take it out on our bodies and ourselves. Since or bodies are home to our life, our spirit and our essence, it’s easy to abuse this innocent target when things go wrong. Even subtle forms of self-abuse can crop up in relation to your body. These things would include everything from unprotected sex to irregular sleep and hygiene habits. Wherever you are in life, you need to make sure that the ratio of good things you do for and to your body far outweigh any rough treatment it receives. Your body is your only true home. Treat it well.

Yourself How do you view yourself? Do you wish you were someone else half the time? Do you wish you weren’t alive sometimes? Do you wish you were more of this than that? While we all want to be the best we can be, there’s a difference between pushing yourself to be better out of contempt for oneself and pushing yourself to be better out of love. And there’s never a good reason to hate or dislike yourself. If you harbor anger, shame, resentment or regret towards yourself or your past, stop. Figure out the reasons behind your cold, callous or downtrodden attitude towards yourself and your life and systematically erase and eliminate all limiting, hurtful beliefs about yourself. You are a precious, wonderful person who has a lot to offer. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’ve come from; you deserve a happy, fun, love-filled life. But you’re only able let good things into your life to the degree that you feel good about yourself. Love yourself first, and soon you will be in love with your life. Amanda Chappel UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

Dayplanner

Amanda Chappel

Events on or around campus Filling out the FAFSA February 8 Whether you’re so privileged that you’ve never had to fill one out until now, or you’re a freshman who doesn’t know how to do this shit on your own, there’s something for everyone in this information session. Remember that FAFSA = free money/free money with high interest rates. Mezes Hall (MEZ) 2.120, 9-11 AM

Calling all volunteers February 8 If you think you’d like to make a career in the world of nonprofit organizations, this volunteer fair is a great way to get your foot in the door. If you didn’t know, all nonprofits have a secret allegiance to each other. If you’re in with one, you’re in with them all. Gregory Gym Plaza, 9:45 AM-2:45 PM

Publisher Michael Huereque

Bevonomics coming at ya February 9 Thinking of living off campus? Signed that lease on your apartment and realized it’s not as easy to keep up with all the financial demands? Well, you’re not alone. This friendly cash cow will show you how to prepare for (and recover from) the financial burden of going to school and living on your own. Waggener Hall (WAG) 420, 3:30-4:30 PM Get a damn job! February 10 If you’re one of the gazillion people in this country who’ve struggled to find decent work, or you’ve been too selfish and lazy to get a job until now, here’s your chance to chat up and make a good impression upon countless job recruiters at the LBJ Career Fair. Dress to impress and it wouldn’t hurt to bring a resume along if you have one. Sid Richardson Hall, LBJ School of Public Affairs, 11 AM-3PM

Your guide to all things burnt orange. Wednesday, Feb 8

Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie Sports Writers Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech

W Track

W Rowing

Tyson Invitational, Fayetteville, Ark. TBA

Fighting Nutria, Austin, Texas (Lady Bird Lake), All Day

Kansas, Lawrence, Kan., 7:00 PM

Washington Husky Classic, Seattle, Wash., TBA

Tyson Invitational, Fayetteville, Ark., TBA

Thursday, Feb 9

Saturday, Feb 11

Sunday, Feb 12

Softball

M Basketball

Softball

Cal State Fullerton, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

Kansas State, Austin, Texas, 1:00 PM

Consolation/Championship, Austin, Texas, 9:00 AM

Friday, Feb 10

Oklahoma State, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

Consolation/Championship, Austin, Texas, 12:00 PM

CONTACT uweeklyatx.com editor@uweeklyaustin.com facebook.com/uweeklyaustin

Colorado State vs. UTSA, Austin, Texas, 11:00 AM

Cal State Fullerton vs. UTSA, Austin, Texas, 10:00 AM

Texas A&M Corpus Christi, Corpus Christi, Texas, 2:00 PM

PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC

Cal State Fullerton vs. CO State, Austin, Texas, 2:00 PM

Colorado State, Austin, Texas, 1:00 PM

ITA National Team Indoor, Championships, Charlottesville, Va., TBA

UTSA, Austin, Texas, 5:00 PM

Semifinal 1, Austin, Texas, 4:00 PM

Texas A&M (Texas Cup), Houston, Texas , 6:00 PM

Semifinal 2, Austin, Texas, 6:30 PM

SPIRE Invitational, Cleveland, Ohio, TBA

Washington Husky Classic, Seattle, Wash., TBA

W Tennis

New Mexico Invitational, Albuquerque, N.M., TBA

W Tennis

ITA National Team Indoor Championships, Charlottesville, Va., TBA

SPIRE Invitational, Cleveland, Ohio, TBA

UCF Challenge, Sorrento, Fla., All Day

W Baskeball

Softball Softball Softball

M Tennis M Track M Track

Account Executives Nick Lorges

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

W Track

W Basketball Softball Softball Softball Softball W Track

M Track

W Track

Softball

M Tennis

W Tennis W Golf

UCF Challenge, Sorrento, Fla., All Day

Monday, Feb 13

W Golf

Circulation Jeremy Tooker

ABOUT UWeekly Austin UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

Opinion Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

That’s what she said. What was your favorite thing you did on Superbowl Sunday?

Air It Out “Besides eat cupcakes, tap dancing at dance rehearsal!”

Dear coffee shop that plays its music too loud, Don’t you know that I’m trying to study? I know you do, seeing as I’m in here with my computer, books and highlighter. I know that you’re having a grand ole time churning out espressos to your favorite tunes, but this isn’t a nightclub. In fact, it’s one step above a library. It’s the place people go when they want to get work done, but still be stimulated by their environment. If everybody in here is talking with a six-inch voice, why is your music at semi-full blast?

SUBMIT TO AIR IT OUT! 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the

Heidi Woerner

“I actually watched the Superbowl and my favorite part was most definitely the commercials.”

Stacy Skolnik

You wouldn’t want me to disturb you while you work, so why don’t you show some goddamn respect and lower your indie-emo crap? It’s really starting to get on my nerves. I’d stiff you on your tip as punishment, but then you’d know it was me.

Sincerely, Your music is giving me a headache communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so. 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

“Making eggs and watching Say Yes to the Dress.”

“Climbing over people to buy tortilla chips at Wal-Mart.”

“(Pointing at friend) I ate her pizza and one of her cookies.”

“Commercials, probably...yeah.”

Sara Athans

Olivia Reep

Samantha Accettulli

Katy Wicker

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

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“Besides Miami, who do you think is the other favorite to win the title?”

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Ah, yes, it always comes back to the Heat. After blowing their 2-1 lead against Dallas in the 2011 NBA Finals, Miami’s “Big Three” faced an offseason of ridicule at the merciless hands of the media who, along with the Heat themselves, set the expectations that anything less than a championship season was a disappointment. Now that everyone has the Heat picked to go all the way this year, it’s only natural that there at least be someone designated to spoil their party once again and, seeing as how the Heat’s collapse came in the finals, why not go with the team in the West that everyone is picking to meet them there this year? The Oklahoma City Thunder. I know, I know, you may call me a homer because I am about the most unabashed Kevin Durant fan on the 40 Acres, but there really aren’t a whole lot of reasons to not like this team. They’re young, incredibly athletic, have depth, a bona fide superstar as well as a worthy sidekick (if only Russell Westbrook would just willingly accept that role), and as this shortened season continues, it would be easy to see that play directly into the Thunder’s hands. On the other side of that coin, however, those same advantages can be said for the Heat as well, except for maybe the depth part. Then again, the overall quality of their

“Big Three” probably outweighs the one-two punch of Kevin Durant and Russell Wilson. But hey, that’s why if it does happen, it would figure to be a fantastic series and, if I was picking with my heart, I would tell you that the Oklahoma City Thunder are this year’s NBA champions. But if I’m picking who I truly think is going to win it all this year, it would be hard for me not to pick the Heat if not just for the fact that you have to figure that LeBron James is going to win a championship at some point, and if there was ever a season for him to steal one, why not let it be the freak season with the compacted schedule? As for the Thunder, their time will come very soon if it hasn’t come already. The turnaround they’ve experienced in the last two seasons is the start of something special, and it speaks volumes for the character of that team that they’re able to get it done in such a small market. But if the Heat do indeed win it all this year, the Thunder will still be there in future years to try and stop them from taking it again. Then again, maybe the Heat will just win seven straight championships starting this year. You just never know. Brian Bogart

Have a sports-related question you want answered in UWeekly? Tweet it to me @BrianEBogart or email brian@bogart.us and you just may be lucky enough to make it into next week’s issue.

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Highlight

Reel

As things begin to shake out for the NCAA basketball season and fantasy brackets are already being made, on the 40 Acres, things aren’t as peachy as we’re used to seeing. Under Rick Barnes, the Longhorns have had a fantastic knack for making it to the NCAA tournament and even, in a few instances, making a decent run through the bracket. Hell, in the last two regular seasons alone the Longhorns enjoyed some time or another as the AP number one. But for all the general success Rick Barnes has experienced in the last 13 years as UT’s head coach, 2012 has by far been his roughest year. The team lacks experience, direction, and at this point has an extremely long shot to even make the NCAA tournament. Given UT’s lack of success in the NCAA tournament in recent years, this season could easily mark

the lowest point of Rick Barnes’ stint as the Longhorn’s head coach. A fact that won’t be overlooked by Texas fans who have come to expect good things from their basketball team in the last decade or so. After eight years of ho-hum Superbowl halftime shows targeted towards promoting family values ever since Janet Jackson’s infamous nip-slip (thanks a lot Justin Timberlake, with your grabby little hands), M.I.A. brought back the edge to what is supposed to be America’s greatest spectacle. Apparently, after her and Madonna’s rousing edition of “Give Me All Your Luvin’,” the British pop star saw fit to flick off the camera while muttering “I don’t give a shit.” Although M.I.A.’s antics were the most entertaining thing about the bizarre pseudo-sacrificial ceremony that was this year’s halftime show, they make us long for the days when you could watch a live nipple without the networks spoiling your fun. Congratulations, NBC, you have officially killed the concept of “water cooler talk.” Corporate fat-cats.

For those keeping score at home: Peyton Manning: one super bowl. Eli Manning: two super bowls. I’m not one for comparisons because I don’t think direct numbers like that necessarily tell the whole story. But who would have ever saw that one coming? On a related note: Eli Manning is 2-0 against Tom Brady in the Superbowl. No matter what happens to Manning for the rest of his career, he’ll be able to call “scoreboard” on a lot of pretty damn important games. The results of this year’s crop of Superbowl commercials is in and the overall grade is kind of disappointing. Besides the infamous Volkswagon ads that gained notoriety for the Star Wars tie-ins they gratuitously added on to every commercial, Chrysler was also a big winner, getting Clint Eastwood to narrate their ad. I was not as big of a fan, however, of the M&M commercial that condoned public nudity in a disturbing way; and as for Danica Patrick, how much longer is she gonna keep doing this? I mean, really?

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

Photo: David Shankbone

The

The horrible television bowl All the stuff you could’ve been watching during the game In case you weren’t aware, the Super Bowl happened last Sunday. Patriots fans were enraged, Giants fans misguidedly dubbed Eli a better clutch performer than Brady, and the spirits above wouldn’t let one measly fumble bounce New England’s way. Much will be written about those four hours, which is fine, but let’s talk about something else. Let’s go over all the things you could’ve been watching if you weren’t tuned to NBC Sunday night. I give you UWeekly’s recap of all the things you could’ve seen besides Tom Brady’s beautiful, tear-swollen face.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA; BRAVO: 6:00 PM I am a man of basic cable ambivalence. The entire saga of the real housewives has completely passed me by. It seems like something bored women tune into when they give up on a Saturday night. In this case, make it a Sunday afternoon. Bored of Eli Manning’s goofy grin? Was M.I.A.’s middlefinger flip not scandalous enough for you? Well, over on Bravo, “Cynthia and Phaedra go on a double date with their men!” I’m sure that’ll turn out steamy! Maybe someone will start crying? Who knows! Bravo was perfectly comfortable showing “Real Housewives” reruns all day long. I’m sure there’s nothing better than eating Super Bowl party food in the midst of that kind of marathon.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 1, 2, and 3; DISNEY: 4-8 PM I’m guessing you haven’t thought about High School Musical in about four years before reading this article. I hope it takes you back to a simpler time. When people were comparing Zac Efron to a future Timberlake with some sense of sincerity, before Vanessa Hudgens’ boobs were on every family-filter-off Google search and in the minds of amateur pedophiles everywhere, back when the Jonas Brothers were a thing. A little wistful, right?

things in competition with each other. You’ll see men tow firetrucks, men pick up giant tires, men throwing weights over things, men pushing weights under things, men picking up boulders and then setting them down. They are literally

“A countdown of the top sultry hip-hop videos.” Yep, this is the sort of thing you used to jerk off to before you discovered the infinite wonders of the internet. Well you had the opportunity to delve right back into those rosy, simpler times, if only you weren’t preoccupied with Madonna’s boobs.

WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN; ESPN: 5-7 PM Let me identify with all my fellow bros out there. The seemingly never-ending World’s Strongest Man competition is our show of choice when incredibly bored or annoyingly sick on a summer afternoon. It consists of dozens of roided-up behemoths lifting esoteric, product-placement

round balls of hormone-stiffened muscle; they gave up their humanity long, long ago. In fact most of them are probably on suicide watch. Approach with morbid curiosity, and you will be satiated.

SEXIEST HIP-HOP VIDEOS; FUSE: 5:30-7:30 PM “A countdown of the top sultry hip-hop videos.” Yep, this is the sort of thing you used to jerk off to before you discovered the infinite wonders of the internet. Aside from the fact that most rap videos that go for the sex are more gross than smutty,

and the indisputable fact that you could literally only watch something like this by yourself, I’m not sure if there’s a better pathway down the dark caverns of human sadness than watching all 120 minutes of this fine consumer-demanded content. If you really want to ruminate on what it all means, or if that Mayan prediction holds any weight, spend a couple quality hours with Fuse marketing during the Super Bowl.

LIZARD LICK TOWING; TRUTV: Literally all day I have no idea what this is. I barely even know what TruTV is. All I know is that it’s called “Lizard Lick Towing,” and one of the episode descriptions reads “Ron and my host a pig roast and a guest’s car needs to be repossessed; Ron and Bobby go to Miami to help with a boat seizure; and Amy’s water breaks while Ron is away.” This sounds amazing. Just imagine all of the wonderful new terrors you could’ve been discovering while you were watching high-budget trailers for film adaptations of the board game “Battleship.” “Lizard Lick Towing” will be waiting for you next year. Luke Winkie

Clash of the all-stars

this entitlement-fueled crybaby fest we like to call the NBA.

Griffin is just the kind of player that has “all-star” written all over him.

Deserving of attention: Russel Westbrook

Deserving of attention: Danilo Gallinari Remember when Carmelo Anthony left and people stopped paying attention to the Nuggets? Remember how he moved to an over-hyped New York team that is currently struggling for signs of life while Denver put together a group of young, talented players that learned how to gel and win as a team? For that reason alone, Gallinari deserves consideration. Averaging 17 points and 5 rebounds per game never hurts, either.

Bynum is funny because he’s always the first name people mention after Dwight Howard whenever they talk about who the best center in the game is today, and yet in the games they’ve actually played

The East

POWER FORWARD

POINT GUARD

Don’t look now, but James in on pace to having one of the greatest regular seasons of all time, averaging 29 points, 7 assists, and 8.5 rebounds. Bitch all you want about his intangibles and his fading in the finals, numbers like that don’t lie.

Ironically, while CP3 is the consummate “pass-first” point guard, Russell Westbrook is the antithesis of the kind of player Chris Paul is. While Westbrook has settled in more to his #2 role than he seemed to be last year, he is a point guard that is looking to score more often than not when he gets ahold of the ball. His natural gifts are hard to ignore, however, and his athleticism is virtually unmatched in the entire league, which is why he is still more than worthy of the “all-star” tag.

Deserving of attention: Chris Bosh

SHOOTING GUARD

A look at those chosen to play in the NBA All-Stars game and those who should

Picked: Derrick Rose Yes, last year’s MVP continues to have a fabulous year, establishing himself as the Bulls’ sole offensive powerhouse. At 23 points per game and 8 assists, he’s almost averaging a double-double, and continues to play stingy defense, keeping with the attitude of his team. Unlike some of the other selections, it literally couldn’t have been anyone else.

Deserving of attention: Kyrie Irving We’re not saying that your potential rookie of the year ought to top the reserves over guys like Rondo or Deron Williams, but it’s pretty impressive how much better he’s made the once-ailing Cavs this year. Just last week he put up 20 points and dished 7 assists in an impressive comeback takedown of the Mavericks. He might not be an all-star this year, but it’s good Cleveland finally has something to smile about that isn’t schadenfreude.

SHOOTING GUARD

Picked: Dwayne Wade In a year where he’s averaging fewer points than he has since his rookie year, Wade still remains the easy choice coming out of the east. A great crunch-time shooter, a high basketball IQ, a maestro off the dribble, you’ve heard all this before, and it all remains true.

Deserving of attention: Joe Johnson The suddenly-kinda-old Joe Johnson has played exceedingly well after a bit of a down year, coming through in the clutch as the constant cornerstone in the Hawks’ philosophy. Statistically he’s not been phenomenal, but his value is easily witnessed. There’s literally no one besides him who could hold a candle to Wade.

Picked: LeBron James

The oft-forgotten component of the big three had his own mini-renaissance after Wade was knocked out with an injury earlier this year, picking up nearly every aspect of his game and leading the Heat to an impressive early-season winning streak. He’s proven that his shadow can be just as big as Lebron’s sometimes.

CENTER

Picked: Dwight Howard There’s literally nothing to say. It’s Dwight Howard.

Deserving of attention: Tyson Chandler

Picked: Kobe Bryant I mean, did you really think Kobe wasn’t going to be an all-star selection? No? Didn’t think so. Moving on.

CENTER

Picked: Andrew Bynum

There’s literally nothing to say. It’s Dwight Howard. Deserving of attention: Joe Johnson

against one another, Howard has dominated Bynum pillar-to-post. I guess that just really reinforces the sheer dominance Dwight Howard has of the center position, and even if this is supposed to be Bynum’s paragraph about why he deserves to be an all-star, it has once again turned into a discussion about Dwight Howard. Well, Bynum, maybe if you didn’t deck J.J. Barea and then take off your shirt like it was a streetball game I would feel worse. But you did do those things, so I don’t.

In the profound mess that is the New York Knicks organization right now, the Tyson Chandler pick-up remains the sole bright spot. Essentially recruited to be the one guy on the team playing defense, Chandler has done just that. The dude’s averaging 10 points and 10 rebounds with a healthy amount of blocks in the mix. After he shut down the Heat in last year’s finals, the dude deserves some attention.

Joe Johnson has been flying high with the Hawks for a number of years now but it’s for this very reason he’s often easy to overlook when it comes to selecting an all-star game. In Johnson’s case, though, he’s a bona fide superstar who just happens to play in Atlanta. Players who average 18-4-4 don’t just do so on accident; they do it because they’re good. In fact, they do it because they’re all-stars.

The West

POWER FORWARD

POINT GUARD

Picked: Blake Griffin

Deserving of attention: Lamarcus Aldridge

After he was the first rookie in a long time to get an invite to the game last year, Blake Griffin has been doing what he does best in 2012, and that is making defenders look bad. Really bad. Even if he’s not yet the finished product he’s striving to be, BG is still the most exciting player in the game today bar none. His dunks defy the laws of physics and his quirky sense of humor has made him a very marketable commodity. Even if he’s still a little raw at times, Blake

Maybe LA’s spot here is a little unwarranted since chances are he’ll probably be voted onto the back-up roster, but Aldridge’s omission from last year’s All-Star game was so heinous that it should be doubly noted that he’s even more deserving this year than he was over a year ago. Another thing Aldridge’s name as a potential all-star indicates is that the University of Texas is pretty fucking good at developing talent. Luke Winkie and Brian Bogart

Picked: Chris Paul In terms of “pure point guards,” few are better in the game than Chris Paul. He can handle the ball, he can shoot, and he doesn’t care if he winds up with 0 points and 20 assists in a game, he just plays selflessly. Granted, I imagine that’s easy to do when you have a behemoth like Blake Griffin playing for you, but Paul’s pass-first mentality is something that makes him a special mold of player in

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

Horns Handel A&M Again Barring a matchup in the Big 12 conference tournament, or NCAA tournament at the end of this season, Monday night’s game between the Aggies (12-11, 3-8) and Longhorns (15-9, 5-6) could be the last time the two ever meet on the hardwood. Already, the Horns took care of business against their rivals from College Station in Austin, but it looked like the regular season series would be a split with the Aggies stealing a game at home. Not so fast. Down by one point late on the road in football this year, the Horns used a late field goal to win by two. Although it wasn’t as dramatic, a young UT team that was 0-7 in games decided by six points or less found itself trailing by one point late. And like football, the Horns ended up making the plays down the stretch to win by two. Finally, the Longhorns win a close game and get that monkey off their back with the 70-68 victory over Texas A&M. The opening minutes of a game were a good preview for the way this one was going to play out ? there were a lot of fouls both ways, tough shots made by good players, and not a lot of separation in the scoring. At one point, it did look like the Horns would open up a commanding lead behind outstanding play by freshmen Myck Kabongo and Sheldon McClellan. Kabongo routinely got into the paint thanks to his quickness off the dribble, found some open bigs, and created well offensively, which led to a 24-15 lead for the Horns with 8:03 left in the first half. Then, the Aggies started to flex some muscle on the low blocks, and took advantage of the UT bigs playing a bit timid with the early fouls. All of a sudden, a nine-point lead for the Horns turned into a two-point deficit at the 2:31 mark. If not for McClellan’s 13 first half points, the Aggies would have held a bigger lead than the 34-33 advantage they enjoyed at the half. Much like the first half, the Horns again opened up a nine-point lead when they really buckled down defensively. Brown and Jonathan Holmes combined to score 14 points in the first 10 minutes of the second half, and that led to a 55-46 lead for the Horns. But again, much like the first half, the Aggies came storming back. A&M took advantage of free throw opportunities while its leading scorer Elston Turner ignited the offense with his hot shooting.

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

With 1:28 left in the game, Clint Chapman’s layup attempt was blocked, and Turner came right back down the floor to draw a foul call of his own while the UT bench screamed for a foul on Chapman’s attempt. Turner made both free throws to give the Aggies a 68-67 lead with 1:07 remaining. Out of a timeout, Texas ran an excellent offensive set to free Brown for a layup, and the Horns regained the lead with 54 seconds left. On the next possession, Alexis Wangmene’s outstanding defense on David Loubeau near the low block on the right side of the floor led to a loose ball and a steal for Kabongo. As Kabongo rushed up the floor, the freshman intelligently pulled the ball back, and tossed it to Brown with 18 seconds left. He was fouled and his two free throw attempts hit nothing but net. Then, with three seconds left Kabongo inadvertently made another great decision by fouling Turner with Texas leading 70-67. At the line, Turner made the first, and he missed the second attempt

Photo: University of Texas at Austin Athletics

lifted off this young team’s back. Rick Barnes noticed a lot of confidence in his team tonight. “Our body language, there wasn’t any doubt,” said UT’s head coach after the win. “We’re with our guys so much, and you can see it. Confidence wise, I thought tonight we carried ourselves.”

Young basketball teams can benefit so much from confidence and so much from experience success in key situations on purpose, which Julien Lewis grabbed in the paint. Kabongo received the pass, and tossed the ball in the air to run out the clock with his arms raised in celebration towards the UT bench. The Horns finally got their close win, and walked off the floor with heads held high after the 70-68 victory.

HORNS EXECUTE AND WIN A CLOSE ONE FOR THE FIRST TIME Young basketball teams can benefit so much from confidence and so much from experience success in key situations. Unfortunately for Texas, it hasn’t experienced much success in close games. The Horns’ struggles in close games have been well documented, which meant finally getting that win had to feel like a weight was

What Texas gains from this win could be huge for this young team down the stretch. For the freshmen, it was their first road win in conference play ever. “I think we just stand together as a team; we’re communicating more, listening to the coaches more,” stated McClellan about how this team is growing. “Early in the year we’re trying to do things on our own, and now we’re just focusing and working hard. It brings us together even more because we haven’t won a road game [win] since UCLA. It feels good to get a road win, now we just have to get back in the gym and keep it up.” Longhorn fans have voiced their displeasure for Texas’ offensive execution down the stretch. The Horns simply haven’t made the plays on offense to win games when they’ve had a chance. That changed tonight when out of a timeout, Barnes called great offensive set, which was executed well by his team.

“It’s a play we haven’t ever ran before,” said Barnes about the final offensive play that resulted in a wide open layup for Brown to give UT a 68-67 lead. “A lot of people run what we call the gate play. We work on a lot of different stuff, and we just ran it. We wanted to get the ball to J’Covan.” With the help of his bigs, Brown was able to get a great look at the rim. “Coach called a good play, really it was just an iso play for me,” stated UT’s leading scorer, who had 20 points Monday night. “I got screen from Julien and the bigs pinned down and closed the gates. I had a mismatch, the big guy got stuck guarding me. It was a good play call.” But the game wasn’t over after Brown’s layup. Texas still had to get a stop, and Brown said the Horns knew where the Aggies were going to go with the rock. “We knew they were going to iso Loubeau,” Brown said about the final defensive stop. “Lexi (Wangmene) said he wanted it, but we did a good job with the team help. Myck came up with the big steal. That’s what you have to do to close out big games.” In Texas’ final game at College Station, it was able to break the close game slump. Since it was against the rival Aggies, this one probably tasted a little bit sweeter for the Longhorns. “It felt great,” stated McClellan about the win. “I’ve been watching Texas and Texas A&M for a long time. It felt great to get the last victory for Texas.” UP NEXT Texas hosts Kansas State Saturday afternoon at 1:00 PM CT on ESPN. Dustin McComas Orangebloods.com StafF

Let’s call it love How to make it a memorable Valentine’s Day between you and your bro You’re in college, you’re a bachelor, maybe you fall in love with a girl every day and then decide that it’s too much of a hassle. Maybe your last name is Betori. It’s ok, we accept you, and we at UWeekly are the last people who’ll judge you for not having a girlfriend this Valentine’s Day. In fact we find it kind of offensive that the holiday excludes all the people who march to a different kind of love. That’s right, I’m talking about the bromance.

Don’t worry if you don’t have a lady to lay with on a rose-covered bed. We’ve got your back. Here’s how to adapt Valentine’s Day to your specific situation, making your best friend’s day just a little bit brighter.

You fancy, huh? But haven’t you been fancy long enough? Hasn’t your bro put up with your cheesy sniper nonsense for your entire relationship? How about this time you let him be the hero, let him bask in the brief sunshine of video game immortality for a day before you pound him back into submission. No homo, bro.

Introduce him to a girl There’s nothing better than the brief stroke of excitement when someone you trust mentions a girl you might be interested in. It’s little victories like that which make life worth living. So pick one of your failed hook-ups out of your encyclopedic Facebook feed and organize a meet-up. You don’t even need to think they’re compatible; the fact that you’re creating these opportunities is the best way to nurture a bromance.

Let him win in Call of Duty

Power-level his World of Warcraft character

Oh wow, gently tapping the left trigger for a blind quick-scope headshot through a smoke grenade for the 25th kill on your point streak.

Imagine logging on to WoW after a long day stuck in Psych and realizing that one of your forgotten alts is 20 levels higher than he used to be. There

Photo:Tweety Frankfurt

is scarcely a greater feeling in a geek-bro’s world. Not only that, but he’ll owe you a favor for the rest of his life.

Ice cream Who says a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is only for girls going through a tough breakup? Come home with his favorite flavor and hit the couch for some UFC. Something about ice cream is a natural male-bonding stimulant. Especially if you’re both wearing wife beaters while consuming it.

Buy him some Pink Floyd vinyl Ok, this is for the funny-smelling, long-haired bromance, but there is something wonderful about sitting with your best friend in the dark spinning old-school prog and talking shit about all the girls who don’t want to have sex with you. Stuff like that just draws us closer together. Bonus points if there’s a black light involved.

Make a trip to the Foot Locker There is nothing more precious than two fullygrown dudes pacing through a mall looking at fresh Adidas they can’t afford but continue to try on anyway. If gives us hope, and it also gives us an empty wallet when we try and spend the 70 bucks anyway. So go to the Foot Locker and stare lovingly at each other’s feet. Oh, and alternatively, for the punk-rock kids, go to the Vans outlet store.

Play some basketball Grabbing a ball and hitting the pavement for some hoops is something we always talk about, but never actually do, much like working out, clearing out the fridge, or fixing the shower light. For once in your life, capitalize on his hopes and dreams. Imagine this scenario: You both leave the Foot Locker in brand new Nikes, and instead of driving home, you take him directly to the basketball court. I’ll bet tears will well up in his eyes. Who says a bromance can’t be romantic? Luke Winkie

Sexy spots on campus Places to be adventurous with your lover

If you’re a hopeless Longhorn looking to impress your lover, fear not, you won’t be searching in all the wrong places any longer. The tiny space in your dorm room at Jester or Durham, filled with ghastly fluorescent lighting, is no place to excite your partner on Valentine’s Day. And then there’s that pesky roommate of yours. You know they always walk in at the most inopportune moments anyway. So, why not try to get physical elsewhere? For fans of romance, and the risque realm beyond, we’ve compiled a list of places to spice up your love life at a location near you: UT Campus. Disclaimer: Must be stealthy, silent and sleek to execute these plans adequately.

Lovey-dovey Here are a few whimsical spots to court the gal or guy of your liking. The settings are charmingly romantic and ideal for a sentimental seduction.

Zen Garden at the top level of the Student Activities Center Don’t tell me you’ve never ventured up the staircase on the second level of the SAC? Well, you’re in for a rapturous treat! With two entrances on both north and south sides of the patio, the Zen Garden allows for a perfect escape, if necessary. This veranda is furnished with a few patio tables, benches and, most importantly, giant bed-like cushions that are easily movable. This gives definite leeway to couples who like a variety of options when it comes to positioning. However, I think the huge cushions are optimal for a time of pleasure-filled enchantment, conceding room to move while in action. There’s a great view of campus east and west of the space and walls that permit a more private setting. The area closes at 11 PM, so try to go after the sun has set, but not too close to closing time.

Down by the creek off Dean Keaton and San Jacinto There’s nothing like woods-y fervor with your honey in the great outdoors. On San Jacinto at the intersection of Dean Keaton is a creek ignored by passers-by yet flawless for fondling. The incline of the hill closes off the area while you can give in to your craving for love-making. Again, make sure it’s past sunset and into the night. This means you won’t see the reflection of

Photo:Tweety Frankfurt

your bodies intertwined, but perhaps a glimmer of the moon above. Ooh la la! Take a blanket in case the ground is damp, unless you don’t mind getting a little messy. Also, make sure to be brief. One of you should leave first while the other follows suit about four minutes later. Proper planning is key.

you the chance to lose yourself in an impulsestricken moment with your smokin’ accomplice. There’s plenty of opportunity to angle yourselves on the stairs in a spot not visible from the hallways adjacent to the escalators. These go from level one to level 10 in case you’re interested in this lustful juncture.

Benches at Townes Hall

Locker room at Belmont Hall

Around the beautiful buildings of the Fine Arts and Law Area of campus, lush green grass and sturdy benches await sweethearts. Partners may revel in the open, but are restricted to a seated position in this spot. Townes Hall is not frequented often, which makes it a convenient location for lovin’. There are a couple of benches nestled along the facade of the building, usually empty, especially at nighttime. Pants can’t come all the way off at this hilltop, and females can’t be scared to be on top for this one.

The locker rooms at Belmont Hall aren’t just for UT athletes. Adrenaline junkies are also welcome. The locker rooms also vary from level to level in the 11-floor building. Regardless, locker room zeal is a recipe for bodily desire. It would be best to scope out a few floors to make sure no one is lurking around. This spot would be the safest bet for a daytime escapade, since the building is huge and sound doesn’t escape too easily.

Quick and dirty These locations are perfect to hanker over with your hook-up, impeccable for that erotic excursion you’ve been meaning to make a reality. The following hot spots may require a little more physical strength since the sitting or lying alternatives are not readily available.

Escalators at Belmont Hall Who would have thought that the doors to Belmont Hall are open even during football’s off-season. Along San Jacinto and 23rd,thebuildingbehindandbeneath the football stadium is made accessible to the public. Filled with immobile escalators, Belmont offers

Dark corner at the bottom floor of the William Doty Fine Arts Building Our bodies are works of art too, what a better place to relish over the fact then an art building? After much talk of stairwells, here’s the chance to get familiar with the bottommost part of one. It’ll shelter you from peeping toms! Beneath the staircase at the ground level of this Fine Arts Building, you may find a tight squeeze to get close to your main squeeze. At this point in time, make use of the wall for support and you’ll probably have to stay standing. The area is a good distance away from the students and staff walking on the floors above. What a chance to fill the dark corner with a steamy session of foreplay. Tweety Frankfurt UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

No, the other button!

Video games to never play with your significant other

If you were one of the lucky guys or girls to catch a fellow video game lover, chances are you’ve played multiple video games together already. Co-op games mean a night in with your beloved getting drunk, shooting some zombies, and probably having sex later on in the night. If you plan on spending part of your Valentine’s Day in a virtual world, there might be a few games that’ll kill more than your health bar. Of course these games are subjective to each relationship, but here’s a few you may want to avoid in order to keep that special day free of arguments.

Portal 2 This game is absolutely fantastic. A murderous and witty robot named GlaDOS sticks you in various rooms where you must solve the puzzle or die. The co-op version involves GlaDOS testing two robots named P-Body and Atlas. Although you may be a robot, it doesn’t stop her from lashing insults at you and trying to make the two of you turn on each other. GlaDOS is not the problem. The problem lies within the puzzles. These levels require precise timing, coordination and intelligence. Without your partner’s full cooperation you will not survive. It’ll take about twenty minutes for the tension to rise to its peak, since each level gets harder as you continue. The biggest issue in this co-op is that you may see something that your partner doesn’t. Although you can virtually point out what you are trying to communicate with your partner, they may be stubborn and see a different way of solving the puzzle. Sooner than you think, you’ll start questioning your partner’s intelligence, or vice-versa. An epic battle of who is right soon overtakes the entire game and before you know it,

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

GlaDOS has won. It’s incredibly easy to turn against each other in the game. You can deliberately set up traps to watch your significant other die a horrible death (virtually of course), but the goal is to not kill each other. It probably won’t fare well in the real world either

relationships will want to stay away from this game, but established relationships can go ahead and take these risks. If you don’t completely know your partner, then you may not want to continue the relationship if you find out they like being treated like a baby for sexual exploits.

Catherine

Halo 3, Call of Duty, Left 4 Dead

Combine sick and twisted nightmares with a real life dilemma and you’ll have a bizarre These games are all fantastic to play yet entertaining game like Catherine. This multiplayer or just for their campaign. Firstgame revolves around Vincent, a man in person shooters can be incredibly satisfying, his early thirties who is engaged to long- but playing co-op may present problems for time college sweetheart Katherine. One different reasons. As any experienced FPS drunken night, a beautiful (and younger) gamer will tell you, there are no room for girl named Catherine seduces him n00bs (newbies) on the battlefield. Missions into a relationship of sexual and quests often require a keen eye and infidelity. All the while, a steady hand. Basically, you need to be men around the same amazing at these games or GTFO. That’s the main problem in playing FPS age who are also cheating on their loved ones are dying in their sleep. games with your partner. Skill levels will Coincidentally, you begin to have horrifying almost always vary. Covering each other’s nightmares. If you die in the nightmare, you backs will be difficult because you or your partner will be blaming each other die in real life. for your constant respawns. This is also another puzzle game. Playing an FPS game is a In nightmare land, Vincent huge mistake when your must move a series of blocks These levels partner has hardly around in order to climb to ever played video the top of the tower where require precise games. This will test you can exit nightmare timing, coordination your patience and land. The catch is the and intelligence. Without leave them feeling levels are timed and the left behind and blocks can have special your partner’s full angry. Remember, if features to them, like cooperation you will they aren’t into video ones that will kill you with not survive. games that much, then spikes if you step on them. they are making a true These puzzles are difficult effort to like what you like so but can actually be enjoyable to cut them some slack. If you strongly play with your significant other at times. Just make sure that nobody calls each other want to play an FPS game on Valentine’s stupid and you’re in the clear. The biggest Day, compromise with your partner. Maybe obstacle that a couple will encounter in this they are a better sniper than you are, and game are the problems that Vincent has you can plan out and win the mission to deal with in his reality. As you progress together. When you both win, much joy through the game, you’ll have multiple (and sexy time) will come to you both. For a nice, argument-free video game choices on how to act towards your girlfriend and your mistress. Each choice affects the session, I’d go with more tame games like ending of your game, but you must answer the New Super Mario Bros. Wii or Dance pretty bizarre questions like, “Would you Central 2. You can still be competitive in ever do child’s play with your partner if they these games, but you and your partner can asked?” and controversial questions like, laugh at how awkward you both are. Not all “Do you consider marriage the end of your of us are dancers, and some of us will never life or the beginning of it?” These questions learn how to jerk the controller properly, are definitely going to start conversations but it’s always fun to try. Celine Suarez that you may or may not want to have. New

JFK’s White House affair with Mimi Alford goes public; ex-president laughing in his grave Towards the end of his presidency, JFK became known as being a very promiscuous man. Now, Mimi Alford, a former White House intern who had an 18-month affair with the ex-president, provides even more proof of the man’s questionable legacy. One example is a claim that the ex-president once made her inhale a sex drug at a debauched party at Bing Crosby’s desert ranch. “The president asked me if I wanted to try the drug, which stimulated the heart but also purportedly enhanced sex,” explained Alford in her book, Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and Its Aftermath. Crazy? Absolutely, but let’s face it: JFK paved the way for aspiring pimps around the world.

Super Bowl: will halftime controversy ever cease? It’s amazing what a close-up middle finger during one of the most celebrated pastimes in America can do. During Madonna’s halftime performance singer M.I.A. flipped off millions of viewers, resulting in a feeble attempt by NBC to immediately switch to a different view of the performance, which, of course, did not work. Since then, NBC has called the event a “spontaneous gesture,” a phrase that sounds almost as ridiculous as 2004’s “wardrobe malfunction.” At least we can all sigh in relief that Madonna did not have any wardrobe malfunctions; no one wanted to see that.

The Voice v. American Idol

It all began with Randy Jackson calling The Voice a contest for “second chance people.” Soon after, singer Adam Levine addressed Jackson’s criticisms, arguing that The Voice’s rejects could “win American

Idol,” and that Jackson should be ashamed of himself. Although American Idol is known for being the originator of turning dreams into realities, the show has lost its appeal throughout the years. Not to mention, The Voice has Cee Lo Green. Why in the hell would

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

we watch American Idol when we could be watching Cee Lo Green? Bring back William Hung as a guest judge, and then we’ll talk. Eli Watson

Meet us at The Local Pub & Patio every Friday at 4:00pm (2610 Guadalupe) and introduce yourself!

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

The Human Rights Campaign is a UT graduate Kathrin Kersten. national organization dedicated to fighting HRC Austin wanted to make sure they picked for the equal rights and treatment of all people who contributed to social betterment people who are LGBTQ. Not only is the with their daily activities and social lives. HRC Human Rights Campaign the premier Austin wanted to pick someone who put in organization and face of LGBTQ debate, it’s “day-out effort, who’s consistent, puts others also the parent organization to many local in front of their own needs” in order to be the chapters, including HRC Austin. voice to people who otherwise could In step with the HRC not fight for their own rights. national organization, Randi Shad, a former Austin “Many people HRC Austin does more city council member, and ages 18-23 are indeed than its fair share of her partner, Kayla Shell, fighting oppression and will be receiving the Bettie involved in and curious mistreatment of gays Nailor award. Nailor, about LGBTQ rights and lesbians as well as an Austin resident, is a through organizations actively working toward lifelong political and social like HRC Austin.” equal treatment for all in activist who concentrated a political and social sense. on queer rights and helped During this year’s HRC Gala, found the HRC as well as the Texas HRC Austin will be presenting two and National Women’s Political and awards to four highly visible and highly Texas Democratic party. An award in her honor active members of the Austin gay, lesbian, would be a huge boost to one’s self-esteem. bi-and trans-sexual community. But, as luck would have it, as much as you might like to go to this event, which is Who happening on February 11 at the Four Seasons, L Style G Style is Austin’s most popular and you probably won’t be able to attend. Why? most widely circulated magazine for and That’s because it’s nearly sold out and ticket by the queer community. Its founders and prices are just a wee bit expensive, topping out publishers, Alisa Weldon and Lynn Yeldell, are at around $275 each. two of the most recognized and highly visible What members of the community today. Therefore, they are receiving HRC’s Visibility Award, and “It’s our largest fundraiser of the year,” said Kersten when asked why this particular for good reason. “We have a lot of discussions about who event is so costly. Although HRC Austin holds is making an impact, who are leaders” in the many smaller, more affordable fundraisers community, said HRC Gala co-chair and 2001 throughout the year, this one is meant to

raise enough money to sustain their efforts to continue their cause on both the local and national stages. This event will be complete with a multicourse meal catered by the Four Seasons, a live and silent auction, as well as the award ceremony. The amazing thing about this year’s HRC Gala is that many younger, college kids are volunteering to work the event. “Most gala volunteers are younger kids,” said Kersten. “As a student who might not be able to attend the gala, there are plenty of opportunities to volunteer.” Kersten also goes on to emphasize the fact that many people ages 18-23 are indeed involved in and curious about LGBTQ rights through organizations like HRC Austin.

Why “As you get older, these issues are more important in your daily life,” said Kersten, as these issues will affect how a person is able to create the life they envision for themselves. As co-chair of the gala, Kersten recognizes the importance of younger generations being involved in these important social campaigns. She also recognizes that in order to become a recognized leader in this community, it takes time, courage and dedication. “There are very real fears and responsibilities of coming out,” said Kersten. “There can be consequences, but a lot of the times, if you have the support, you will come to find out that you’ll be able to overcome your worst fear.” Amanda Chappel

ARRYN ZECH

Seeing as Valentine’s Day is a-comin’, this week’s Patch is going to give you an idea of some pretty sweet games to play with that lovely lady of yours.

Portal 2

complete the story that each game has to offer. The controls are so easy that my mom can play it, and that’s saying something.

LittleBigPlanet GOTY Edition

LittleBigPlanet is another great game to play I know I’ve beat this dead horse for a while, with the ladies. The characters are simply but that doesn’t change the fact that Portal 2 adorable and the worlds that have been is a great game, and an especially great created for you to play in are so awesome game to play cooperatively. that even the most “game-ophobic” Because the concept and girl will love exploring. the controls are so simple, There are so many it’s the perfect game to different levels and The controls share with a loved one. worlds to play in that are so easy that The characters in there’s no worry of the co-op are sure to getting bored with my mom can play it, make her chuckle and the game or having and that’s saying the different levels to put it away anytime something. will seriously keep her soon. For the money, it’s on her toes as you both a great game to own and try and figure out the game play when you both have together. Not only do you get downtime together. Even toptenz. to interact with each other as funny com thinks the game is great to play with little robots, you also have to actually work your girlfriend. “It’s full of whimsy charm together to get past each round of tests. that just oozes near-universal appeal.” Again, I know I suggest this game over and over, but it’s so perfect that you can’t avoid Even for those girls who aren’t very talking about it. musically inclined, you can’t beat a good music-oriented game. The controls are Lego has a vast assortment of video games super easy, as they’re buttons on a guitar; for every kind of couple. Lego Harry Potter but even if that’s too hard, stick her on the for the wizards, Lego Indiana Jones for the microphone/tambourine. You can’t really explorers, and Lego Star Wars for the nerds muck that one up on super easy mode. are just a few examples. Whether you mess up together or rock the The game isn’t stressful and can offer world together, these games are always sure many opportunities to work together and to bring laughs if you bomb your drum solo.

Rock Band/Guitar Hero

Lego adventure games

Just Dance The Just Dance games, like Rock Band and Guitar Hero, are another interactive game that will get you moving and laughing at each other when you pull a hammy trying to bust a move. This game offers a chance for you to get a pre-work out in before you run off to the bedroom for the actual work out.

Left 4 Dead For those girls that are a little more down to play games with you, Left 4 Dead is great. You get to shoot up zombies and save her from nasty boomers and massive tanks. Because of the different modes that you can play the game in, you can have a relatively stress-free experience and run through sewers with minimal zombie threat, or you can play on difficult mode and get your ass kicked by a witch within the first 10 minutes of playing. Just make sure that she doesn’t have a history of zombie nightmares, because this could seriously flare that up hardcore.

Mario Party For the more classic or frilly girls out there, Mario Party is the game choice for you. It’s simple, it’s fun, it’s competitive, it’s like a board game but on TV! There are different maps to play on, and if she’s anything like me, prepare yourself to play “Peach’s Birthday” over and over. And if she’s also anything like me, prepare to get your ass kicked every time. No matter what kind of girl you’re toting on your arm, there’s a video game out there that both of you will enjoy playing together on the day of love. Arryn Zech UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

THE BAT TLE OF

MADONNA So that Super Bowl, right? Two

thing. Plasma-screen floors, gilded stages, Cee-Lo in

weeks of shit-talk culminating in a listless,

a dress, and, uh, LMFAO were there somehow. It was

ending

a dream. Whether you think it was a nightmare or

with a few dropped passes and one of the most

not is up to you. It got us at UWeekly thinking, how

unceremonious touchdown runs of all time. Snore.

does the UT population feel about Madonna in 2012?

rarely-exciting

defensive

drudge

Well, not necessarily. There was still that Madonna

Luke Winkie

How did you feel about the halftime show? • The whole time I was sitting back, thinking, “man, all this stuff looks really expensive! —Danielle Davis

• The M.I.A. thing was the dumbest moment in Superbowl history. —Ty Bradshaw

• I didn’t get to see anyone’s boobs but it was still pretty cool. —Marco Cortez

• I mean, the whole thing was so clearly lip-synced it’s hard to even call it a show, more like a circus. —Stanley Heatley

• Those heels were impressive. —A.J. Chua

• I didn’t see it; I was getting more pizza rolls. —Samantha Colly

You realize Madonna is as old as your mom, right? • And my mom is still cool. So there. —Anna Cowler • Based on the stage-show, Madonna may very well be immortal. —Danielle Davis • Madonna is unaware of her mortality. —A.J. Chua

• I know, and it was like watching my mom give an elaborate striptease to the entire world. —Henry Roemmich • Yeah, it’s already given me some uncomfortable thoughts. —Ty Bradshaw • It’s something every boy born in the ’90s struggles with. —Marco Cortez

Do you have any interest in Madonna’s upcoming studio record? • Now that I think about it, yes, I actually am! —Danielle Davis

• That’s a thing that exists? —Henry Roemmich

• That song with Minaj was actually kinda cool. —Cathy Park

• If it doesn’t have photos of her, I don’t care. —Marco Cortez

• I love that woman. —Linda Stevenson

• No, just no. —Ty Bradshaw

Who should they get for the next Halftime show? • Madonna. —Linda Stevenson

• Bruce Springsteen should play every halftime show. —DeAndre Jones

• Madonna in a Lady Gaga suit. —Samantha Colly • How about we just don’t have a halftime show? —Marie Nichols • That guy who was just jumping on a tight rope during that one part. —A.J. Chua

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

• Bill Belichick should play the halftime show. —Ty Bradshaw

Photos: Eli Watson

UWeeklyATX.com | February 8, 2012

jos

Hino Photos:Elizabeth

CHUPACABRA

the local

400 East Sixth Street You’re this week’s winner! Contact us on Facebook to collect $25!*

VARSITY BAR 2324 Guadalupe Street

2610 Guadalupe Street

the stage 508 East Sixth Street

the local

CHUPACABRA

2610 Guadalupe Street

400 East Sixth Street

*If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! Contact us Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!)

Photos: Elizabeth

Hinojos

the stage 508 East Sixth Street

chupacabra

the local

400 East Sixth Street

2610 Guadalupe Street

VARSITY BAR 2324 Guadalupe Street

the stage 508 East Sixth Street

For more party pics, go to uweeklyaustin.com. UWeeklyATX.com | February 8. 2012

Super Crossword

Crypto Quip

Clue: X Equals O

This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

finish line

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Sudoku

The Dalles Folksy rock n roll band capture live sound on debut record After a chance encounter with Blue Mongeon on a bus heading to Boston about six years ago, Ben Ballinger kept in contact with Mongeon and then moved from The Dalles, Oregon (also the band’s namesake) to Austin to start a band. The band is less than a year old, but will release their debut album My Own Private White House on Feb. 11 at Hole in the Wall. Each member, Ballinger, Mongeon, Drew Brunetti and Chris D’Annunzio, come from “different corners of America” and musical styles that help shape The Dalles’ sound. Ben Ballinger: That’s why we’re really excited to drop this record and see what people say about it. Drew Brunetti: We try to keep every song a little bit different. I don’t think you can pin us down as an indie band or a folk band. We try to make each song have a different style, a different feel, and I just feel that people would enjoy that more. When you put in a CD, you’re not getting the same thing song after song. Each one is maybe a different style or adventure. That’s what we were going for.

“We’re just really big advocates of live. We want people to hear the music as it is.“ How did you decide to record with Heston Barnes? Chris D’Annunzio: He’s an old friend of mine. Heston’s got a brilliant ear when it comes to tone and how things should sound. So I figured we might as well keep it in-house, go with people that we know and trust instead of paying random people. BB: He was working with Eye in the Sky (Collective) so it was a perfect union. DB: The one thing that I love about Austin is the sense of communit y that a lot of bands have. I think that was the coolest par t when he bought up Heston. BB: We could not be happier. DB: This is our first recording as a band and Heston made it go so smooth. He allowed us to be ourselves and do our own thing. BB: But still put his own quality control stuff in there. He’s a producer too, and he did an amazing job.

I read that you recorded it live in three days. You all plugged in and just played? DB: Absolutely. BB: A lot of records are made one thing at a time. They’ll record the drums, and then the bass. We went into the garage in this house, and Heston miked everything up and just played it live. That was our intention. We think our live shows is something that we do well. We really enjoy that part of the music, so we wanted the record to emulate that. DB: We did it without a click track. We didn’t want to try to hide any imperfections. Sometimes when you hear a band’s recording and you go see them live, it doesn’t connect at all, so we wanted to capture a live sound. I fought Ben on this for awhile because the times that I recorded, it was drums, bass, guitar, vocals. That’s how I wanted to do it and again, they made me think outside of the box. I couldn’t be happier with it. I really couldn’t. It really captures our live sound. CD: It really turned out as well as it could have. DB: Absolutely, and again, it’s great having a good person behind the board like Heston. It wouldn’t have been this good if it wasn’t for him. He definitely helped make it a good record.

I saw the video you shot at the Capitol. I thought that was awesome, especially the scene where your guitars are coming out of the detectors. CD: They gave us some really weird looks.

I was wondering that. What was the response from the people working there? BB: We thought we would be turned away. So we brought the camera man and our idea was to just get some cool footage of us getting escorted out of the Capitol with our instruments, but we went in there. We walked in. The security guard was like do you think that guitar is going to

fit through the metal detectors and I was like yeah, I think it will, so none of us said a word. We just went along with it. We filed through one at a time, went through the metal detectors and security shit, and nobody said a word.

That’s such an Austin thing though. CD: The cleaning ladies were just chilling, watching us, trying not to make a noise. DB: Yeah, they just stopped doing what they what they were doing and let us record. They were really, really cool about letting us go in there and film.

They were trying not to make noise? BB: Exactly. They had these big carts with noisy wheels, like shopping cart style. She could tell that we were recording, and she just stopped there at the edge of the room and waited until we were done with that take. It was amazing. DB: A lot of the time in the video you see me laughing because I can see this lady sitting there. Every time we stop, she’d move and then realized we’re going, and then she’ll stop. It must have been, like, 30 minutes she waited, but I was blown away by how nice they were and how cool they were about it. BB: The acoustics are incredible. They really are hard to believe when you first go down there. CD: We didn’t plug in anything, and especially acoustic bass, it is really hard to pick up if it’s (not miked) and it boomed. Sounded amazing. That was straight camera mic. DB: He did one take to get the audio, and then we played it, like, another two times so he could get some more footage, but yeah, what you’re hearing we just did it one time. CD: It’s just straight acoustics from the Capitol. DB: If you haven’t noticed, we’re just really big advocates of live. We want people to hear the music as it is. We don’t try to go back and overdub or re-hide stuff. CD: There’s a lot of trickery in studios. BB: You gotta be real. Sarah Vasquez UWeeklyAustin.com | February 8, 2012

Wednesday

Flying Turns @ North Door, 501 Brushy St

thursday

The Encyclopedia Show:

Pfugerville

Will bass 30

The Octopus Project @ Mohawk, 912 Red River

There is no excuse to sit on your ass on Wednesdays. You’ve already spent a couple of lifetimes playing the new Star Trek game, or whatever the kids are doing these days. Wednesdays are the time to put on those blue suede shoes and boogie. Ten out of eight doctors recommend that you get at least 90 minutes of boogieing a week. Well, now you can get all of it in with Flying Turns. This DJ crew lays down some of the funkiest disco jams since Studio 54 closed. Catch the Wednesday night fever!

@ ND, 501 Brushy St

►►Also Worthy

Har Mar Superstar

John Leguizamo

Ume

Ethan Azarian

The Gaslamp Killer

Lennings

Moulin Rouge Sing- Along

The Hustle Show Episode 2

Bright Light Social Hour

Good Vs. Evil: Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert

Roller Disco

Topaz

Double Double Feature (Comedy)

Feels Like Home

Master Pancake Theater

What do you know about Pflugerville? Some have conjecturedthatitisthesiteofamassiveTrumanShow type of reality show production. Whatever this strange land is, you’re about to find out at the Encyclopedia Show. The show is a live variety extravaganza in which comedians, burlesque stars, English professors, and an actual Pfugerville resident will each present a verbal Encyclopedia entry regarding the lowdown of this strange town to the north, hopefully getting to the bottom of this mystery. Tickets: At the door

Tickets: At the door

The top events & shows in Austin this week

friday

Mohawk, 912 Red River Cactus Cafe, 2247 Guadalupe Alamo Lakeway, 13729 Research Blvd Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress ColdTowne Theatre, 4803 Airport

Blooming out of the octopus’s garden is the Octopus Project. No, it is not some top secret government program to reverse engineer a UFO; although, if that was happening the scientists would be listening to the Octopus Project. One of Austn’s tastiest bands, the Octopus Project kick out some electronic pop jams: forward-thinking sounds that mine the past while carving out the template for the future. In addition to their already stellar recordings, the band’s live presence is one to be witnessed. Tickets: www.mohawkaustin.com

Paramount Theater, 713 Congress Beauty Bar, 617 E 7th

ColdTowne Theatre, 4803 Airport

Millenium Youth Entertainment Complex, 1156 Hargrave Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

Parish, 214 E 6th Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

The Sahara Lounge, 1413 Weberville Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

February 8, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

TRENDY classy

open 7 days a week

2815 gu adalup

e st

saturday

sunday

monday

blazer tag anniversary @ Balzer Tag, 1701 Ben White Blvd.

Balzer Tag is turning 13, and to celebrate, they’re running .13¢ games from 4pm to 10pm. If you’ve never gotten your Balzer Tag on, here’s you opportunity. Throw on a comfortable pair of shoes and get your game face ready for the ultimate laser tag experience.

The Austin Flea @ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

It’s hard keeping Austin weird. People are always looking for new ways to do it: male thongs, jorts and taint tattoos are just a few. Here is an easy and oldfashioned way to keep this place weird: the Austin flea. Everyone’s favorite analog bowling venue is hosting some of Austin’s best craft ladies, vendors and artists. Empty out the bank account and continue keeping it weird by supporting local business, and grab an oldfashioned cocktail at the bar when you get thirsty from all that shopping.

Stag Comedy @ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

No need to stay in on Sunday nights watching recorded episodes of SNL, patiently waiting for that old magic to come back to the show. It never does. Instead, get yourself a ticket to the Stag Comedy show at the Alamo Drafthouse. It is presented by Master Pancaker Joe Parsons, so you know it’s funny. The show is a raucous mixture of both live and video sketches from funny luminaries from all around town. Plan a doctor visit, It will have you in stitches Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

►►Also Worthy

Jazz Jam

Elephant Room, 315 Congress

Best in Show: Hot Dog Eating Contest Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

tuesday

Valentine’s Dinner @ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

A special menu, a band playing jazz from the ’30s and ’40s, The Highball—it’s a no-brainer. This is the place to spend your Valentine’s Day.

►►Also Worthy

White Ghost Shivers

Ringo Deathstar

The Dalles

Gospel Brunch

Stubb’s, 801 Red River

►►Also Worthy

Church of the Friendly Ghost: Dance Party

Fantastic Arcade

Mockingbird Loyals

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Chorizo Funk

Chris Brecht

Terror Tuesday:TheBurningmoon

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth)

Tacks the Boy Disaster

Elana James

Skinny’s Ballroom, 115 San Jacinto Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Salvage Vanguard Theatre, 2803 Manor North Door, 501 Brushy St St. Davids, 304 E 7th

Tickets: www.thehighball.com

ND, 501 Brushy St

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 8, 2012

►►Tiniest Bar in Texas

►►The Library

817 W 5th

407 E 6th

$3 Jack, Jim, and Jager

$1 Domestics, Wells $2 Import Bottles

►►Chuggin’ Monkey

►►Maggie Mae’s

219 E 6th

323 E 6th

$2 wells/domestics

$2 You Holla!

►►Pluckers

►►Shakespeare’s Pub

2222 Rio Grande

317 E 6th

Mother Plucker Mugs

$5 liquor pitchers

►►Soho Lounge

►►Touche

217 E 6th

417 E 6th

HH from 7-11: $1 Well Drinks, $2 Doms

$1 schnapps

►►Mother Egan’s

►►Thirsty Nickel

715 W 6th

325 E 6th

$3 Guinness

$2 wells/domestics til 11 PM, $3 house shots

►►Trudy’s

►►Peckerheads

409 W 30th

402 E 6th

$4.95 Sangria ritas

$2 You Call It til 11 PM

►►The Ginger Man

►►Chuggin’ Monkey

Shakespeare’s Pub 314 East 6th Street Often looked upon as a go-to spot for just about anyone looking to get a taste of Dirty Sixth, there’s a reason why Shakespeare’s is usually in the discussion of people’s favorite bars when they visit 6th street. While Shakespeare’s often boasts a robust and diverse crowd on any given night, it has plenty of square footage to keep everyone happy. Besides the full bar that extends to a back patio, Shakespeare’s also has rooftop bar and a dance floor that initially looks like a back room, but is actually an enormous pit of sweat and hormones. But even if that’s not your thing, Shakespeare’s has plenty of other more chill spots if you want to just sit down and get to know someone without waggin’ your junk at them. As long as that comes later, you’ll be A-OK.

Brian Bogart

►►Mi Casa Cantina

301 Lavaca

219 E 6th

503 E 6th

Service Industry Night

$2 wells/domestics

.50¢ wells, $2.50 margaritas til 11 PM

►►Cain and Abel’s

►►Dizzy Rooster

►►Paradise

2313 Rio Grande

306 E 6th

401 E 6th

Sunday Funday

$2 domestic/wells/jello shots

$3.50 Mexican Martinis, $2.50 XX

►►Treasure Island

►►Mooseknuckle Pub

►►Touche

413 E 6th

406 E 6th

417 E 6th

.25¢ wells, $1 triples and kamikaze shots, $4 bombs

Big Ass Beer Night

$1 schnapps

COMING SOON THURSDAYS

for more details visit: UWEEKLYAUSTIN.com