February 17, 2012

THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF UT AUSTIN

FEB 1, 2012

WWW.UWEEKLYATX.COM

WEEKLY GIVEAWAY Go to our Facebook page and enter to win a chance to see Yelawolf @ Emo’s

VOL 4 ISSUE 05

February 15, 2012

04

What’s Up Muffin Top?

06

Hailing a Cab

10

Is That Really a Sport?

27

UWeekly Sits Down

Check Out Our Guide to Shaping Up for Spring Break

Just Got More Expensive

with Click-Clack

PLUS uweekly teams up with austin running tours

P24 Photo: Alan Bernstein Cover photo: Lionel Deluy

Get fit by spring break How to lose weight — quickly

Sweat it out

Cardio is going to be your best friend in the next few weeks. This is the fastest way to burn fat and there are several cardio exercises that are effective to help lose tummy fat.

A simple but effective cardio workout is running or jogging. You can do this in your local gym on a treadmill or on the Hike & Bike Trail located next to picturesque Lady Bird Lake. Running has even been linked to all sorts of health benefits, emotional perks, and even disease prevention.

Joining a gym will also provide you with a multitude of options to increase your cardio workout. At gyms you can join kickboxing, spin or mixed-martial arts classes.

If you’re more the type to watch a video and work out at home, there are several videos that can give you great results including Brazilian Butt Lift and P90X.

4

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Diet

Only working out isn’t going to help tone and trim your body in less than a month. You also need to eat right.

Aside from cutting out obvious fattening foods like fast food, you need to replace bad foods with healthy, weight-loss promoting foods. Eggs, which are full of protein, will help you feel fuller longer. A lot longer. In addition, a 2006 study of 91 obese people conducted at the Nutrition and Metabolic Research Center at Scripps Clinic found that eating half a grapefruit before each meal or drinking a serving of juice three times a day helped people drop more than three pounds over 12 weeks.

Other foods to eat include beans, salad, soup, olive oil, tofu, nuts, lean meat and high fiber cereal.

Got a case of the Freshman 15? A little pudge around the waistline? A butt you can’t bounce a quarter off of? That’s okay for now, since winter clothes are your best friend, but you can’t hide behind those sweaters for much longer.

Spring break is less than a month away so you are officially on notice if you expect to squeeze into that itsy-bitsy bikini or show off your ripped abs to party your hardest beachside this year. It’s time to get off your butts, get active and adjust your diet accordingly. Here a few tips to help you get fit just in time for Spring Break.

Karissa Rodriguez

Pair up

Need motivation? Grab a buddy to join you in your endeavor to get fit. It’s hard to skip a workout when a buddy is expecting you to show up. A partner is also great motivation

Photo: Karissa Rodriguez

Follow through

Don’t procrastinate. Don’t give up. Don’t succumb to typical college student habits of not following through with your plans. Push yourself and decide what you want to accomplish before you work out and stick to it. Setting a goal can make your workouts rewarding because you will be able to push past what you thought you were capable of.

These workout tips were only just the tip of the iceberg, and while no single workout plan is the only answer to getting fit, the only way you are going to get your body ready in time for Spring Break is by getting off your butt and breaking a sweat.

A study found that eating half a grapefruit before each meal or drinking a serving of juice three times a day helped people drop more than three pounds over 12 weeks. to take your fitness to the next level.

Working out with a friend can also make exercising more fun whether you run, weightlift, or play tennis or basketball with them.

In it for the money A few tips and tricks when trying to land that dream job Whether you’re a recent graduate or undeclared freshman, one thing is certain, and it’s that you need money.

Even if you don’t have a career in your sights just yet, you can’t stay stuck folding clothes or serving burgers for the rest of your college career. With competition as cutthroat as it is these days, you need all the help you can get.

Beyond the obvious polished resume and agreeable attire, sometimes you need a little extra understanding of how the marketplace works.

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know If you’ve been struggling to find work, don’t hide behind the shame of unemployment, as you might miss out on viable opportunities. By lying about your career situation, you leave the people in your life in the dark, where they can’t help you.

Start small, start at the bottom You might be thinking “what career?” as you might not have even picked a major yet. But everything you do and every place you work is a building block to the career you have ahead of you. That’s why it’s important to work at places that you enjoy and places that hold your interest.

Too many people fall into the service industry trap. They think that making quick cash on a flexible schedule as a bartender or a waitress is the only opportunity you have while in school. That, or working for minimum wage at a retail shop. It’s when you find yourself in this black-and-white thinking that you trap yourself and limit your opportunities.

Think of where you want to work and what you would like to accomplish on a grand scale. Once you’ve got that in mind, find a way to get your foot in the door at the bottom. It might even be on a volunteer basis. You might wonder how working for free will help you pay rent, but it will pay off in the long run, as you will make numerous contacts in the field of your interest.

“While it may seem like a lot of work to research when the company last secured VC funding, it and bolts will sure as hell impress Nuts When hiring managers interview prospective candidates, more than anything, they are your interviewer.”

The most amazing career opportunities come from networking and from word of mouth. If the people in your life think you’re happily and gainfully employed, they won’t let you know when they hear of a great job opportunity you’d be perfect for. They also won’t be speaking about you to those who can help.

Don’t be afraid to solicit, either. If you know someone who works at a cool company, feel free to casually ask them if they have any openings or ask them to put in a good word for you if something comes up. Also, have spies out in the field. Your entire circle should know what you do, what you want to do and report back to you if they hear of anything good.

looking for someone who will fit well within their organization, share the company’s values and get along well with coworkers.

Figure out if you would fit in well to an organization before you apply.

You also have to know an organization inside-out before you sit down for a faceto-face. While it may seem like a lot of work to research when the company last secured VC funding, it will sure as hell impress your interviewer.

Also, when interviewing, it’s very important to stay calm and to stay yourself.

This is why some interviewers will throw out off-the-cuff questions to throw you off your game. They know you’re trying to look your best, but they also want to see who

Here are a few no-brainers when it comes to job hunting

■■Tailor your resume and cover letter to

the job description ■■Dress professionally ■■Be calm and assertive ■■Address managers as sir or ma’am ■■Print out a list of often-asked questions and practice your answers you really are, so show them from the very beginning. And, for God’s sakes, don’t show any signs of nervousness. If you can’t handle an interview, you can’t handle the pressure of important job responsibilities.

Tips for interns Interns are in a unique position of advantage.

Not only do they get to know the company, they get to know the people who work there and how the organization is run. When a real job opening comes up, they are one of the first to know about it. This is your opportunity to jump

■■Always send thank-you emails ■■Remember names ■■Be kind to the

receptionist ■■Be yourself

at the chance.

More than that, companies like to hire people they know. So even if you’re grabbing coffee and sending faxes, do it with gusto and drive! Even though you’re at the bottom of the food chain, imagine yourself as part of the team and just as important as anyone else. It’s also important to take initiative and go above and beyond, as cheesy as that sounds. If you do everything right and they pass you up for that entry-level position, you don’t want to work for those assholes anyway.

Amanda Chappel UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

5

Taxi rides to cost more

In a move to increase the number of available taxis overnight in downtown Austin, the Austin City Council has voted during the past two city council meetings to impose additional fees upon taxi cab patrons.

Passengers who party a little too hard and vomit inside of a taxi or emit any other bodily fluids will have to pay a $100 clean-up fee.

The resolution was passed by the council on Feb. 9 and must be paid in addition to

know several students who rely on taxis to take them home safely after a night of partying,” said Aguilar. “Besides, not every student lives along the route of the E-bus anyway.”

The $100 clean-up fee will replace the “drop fee” implemented by the city council in the summer of 2010 which raised the drop fee for all trips by 10 cents to compensate for potential clean up. Under the new change, only those who get sick will have to pay.

means I will end up paying more for taxi rides,” said University of Texas student Jacob Thelman.

“I live in south Austin so I do take advantage of taxi services when I’ve had one too many on Sixth Street. I think it’s great that there could be more taxis available at night.”

The city council is also considering increasing the number of permits granted to taxi companies during upcoming council meetings.

However, some local cab drivers argue more

“This is clearly directed at students and students can’t really afford this fee.”

Meet us Patio Meet us at at The The Local Local Pub Pub & & Patio every Friday Friday at at 5:00pm 4:00pm (2610 Guadalupe) Every (2610 Guadalupe) and yourself! and introduce introduce yourself!

regular cab fare, according to the council, and was implemented after taxicab drivers requested a way to be compensated if an incident occurs that will require their vehicle be removed from service for cleaning.

“I think it’s outrageous,” said University of Texas student Monica Aguilar. “This is clearly directed at students and students can’t really afford this fee.”

Students who can’t afford to use taxis have the option of taking the E-bus, but Aguilar says that this isn’t always a solution.

“We can’t always take the E-bus when its overcrowded or takes too long to arrive so I

6

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

In addition to the clean-up fee, each passenger in a taxi will have to pay an extra $1 surcharge during peak hours from 9 PM to 4 AM. City officials explained that the extra charge is designed to encourage more taxi drivers to work late nights.

The $1 surcharge was passed after taxicab drivers spoke out against the council’s original proposal to implement a $2.50 surcharge for every taxicab ride.

Drivers felt that the $2.50 surcharge would be unfair to single passengers and proposed to the council the $1 per passenger surcharge instead.

“I’m okay with the changes even though it

people on the roads will hurt their livelihood.

“I work 15-hour days,” said one Austin taxi driver who asked not to be identified. “I’m already struggling to pay my own bills and if the city council issues more permits to add more drivers then that means less business for me and the other current drivers who are already struggling to get by.”

Whether or not the council approves the measure, one thing is clear: Getting around Austin by taxi will be more expensive and most students aren’t happy with the idea of shelling out more money after a night out downtown just to get home.

Karissa Rodriguez

World Beat KVRX Pledge chef back in action Drive is in full swing

Good Deeds

Owner of defunct African cafe survives cancer, opens food trailer Don’t call it a comeback. After shuttering his popular African eatery, World Beat Cafe, and surviving a near-fatal bout with cancer, Austin food icon Lawrence Osas Eguakun is back in business.

Now running a one-man operation out of a mobile food trailer in the Bouldin Creek Food Court at 1209 S First St, Eguakun is once again cooking some of the most unique and flavorful food in Austin. It’s possible that his dishes are spiced with a touch of magic, or even madness.

“I’m a crazy cook,” said Eguakun. “It’s just my own creativity. People like my kind of taste. I could give you the whole recipe; you go home and cook it, but it will never be like mine.”

Eguakun built a cult of personality around his African cuisine and his 1000-watt smile for nearly a decade with his previous restaurant, World Beat Cafe, which was located a short walk from the University of Texas. The eatery, formerly located at 600 W Martin Luther King Ave, was notorious to students and gourmets alike, not only for the flavorful fare, but also for the vivid African murals that covered the exterior and the familial atmosphere that filled its interior.

Adventurous eaters in Austin felt a pang of loss when the World Beat closed its doors abruptly in 2006.

“Nobody knew what happened; it was this big mystery for the longest time,” said Austin resident Whitney Jardine. “Everybody loved

It’s time to show some love to everyone’s favorite student-run radio station this Feb. 17 From now until February 20, you’ll have the once-a-year opportunity to be part of a momentous tidal wave of love, money and support for UT’s very own KVRX. For those of you who don’t know or simply

“While the five-dollar cover is a great start, especially for the brokest among us, don’t think that’s all it’s going to take to keep this gem going.”

Photo: Zena McKelvy

percent mortality rate within the first five years after a cancer diagnosis.

Eguakun didn’t become another statistic.

With the assistance of the oncology staff at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, he survived chemotherapy treatment and is

“I’m a picky eater.

If I can’t eat it, I won’t sell it.”

World Beat. Where did it go?”

That year Eguakun was diagnosed with Lymphoma and made the difficult decision to close shop in order to focus on his recovery.

Things didn’t look good.

“The doctors gave me a 15 to 20 percent chance to survive,” said Eguakun.

Those odds are slim. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Cancer Institute, adults have a 36

currently in sustained remission. He is past the five-year mark, and working on establishing himself in the food scene once more with his new food trailer, Wasota African Cuisine.

“Wasota” means “prosperity” in Benin, a regional language in Eguakun’s native country of Nigeria. He first came to America to study cinematography at Huston-Tillotson University in Austin. He switched his studies to human relations, and after graduation he worked for

don’t listen to the radio, KVRX is run by UT students and is completely non-profit. It’s unique in the sense that, for an organization affiliated with UT, the university isn’t funding it and subsequently isn’t pulling its puppet strings.

It’s also completely run by students of UT. That means that not only do you get to enjoy endless hours of “none of the hits, all of the time,” RTF students and other music enthusiasts get the chance to run and operate their very own radio station, for them, by them.

IBM’s Applied Materials division for a time in the 1990’s. He also moonlighted as a DJ and promoter for a genre of music called world beat, which became the namesake for his first restaurant.

“I’m a picky eater; I rarely eat anyone’s food,” said Eguakun. “That’s why I learned to cook for myself. If I can’t eat it, I won’t sell it.”

It was Eguakun’s style of home cooking that led to his career in food. He would prepare traditional West African dishes for the traveling musicians who performed at events he promoted at the club Liberty Lunch in downtown Austin. His food was so well received that he felt encouraged to open a restaurant. He opened World Beat Cafe in 1998.

Wasota African Cuisine offers many of the dishes Eguakun served at his former cafe, such as the Egasi soup and the Yam Fu Fu. Though the menu includes meat dishes, Eguakun’s cooking is popular among vegetarians and vegans,

The only problem is that they are responsible for more than just spinning records and scouting out local indies. They are also responsible for feeding the machine and keeping it going. This particular machine feeds upon money. That’s where you come in.

From February 6-20, the station is attempting to raise almost $10,000 in pledges from local businesses and listeners, just like you. While you technically could give money any time of year, now is best, as there will be a Pledge Drive Show at 29th Street Ballroom this Feb. 17. The show starts at 8 PM and will go on until the wee hours of the morning.

The students and DJs that run KVRX have an amazing live show lined up for those who pay $5 to get in the door. While the fivedollar cover is a great start, especially for the brokest among us, don’t think that’s all it’s going to take to keep this gem going. If you can come up with money for cigarettes and beer every weekend, you can afford to drop a little cash on such a worthy and noble cause.

Amanda Chappel The line-up: These Are Words, Cactus Peach, Shivery Shakes, Western, Ghost House, Ringo Deathstarr

especially his homemade veggie burgers.

“Everybody had to go (to World Beat Cafe) when they came into town to try the veggie burgers,” said Jardine. “It was very much a community spot. It was the must-stop-shop.”

Eguakun is surprised by the support he has received.

“I’m having a ball,” said Eguakun. “Old customers come here, not just to eat, but to give me a hug. I didn’t know I made such an impact on them. What more can I ask for?”

Since opening Wasota in October 2011, business hasn’t been particularly brisk. The community that surrounded World Beat Cafe has largely graduated from school and moved away from Austin or else they are unaware of Eguakun’s new location.

“I’ll make new friends here,” said Eguakun. “This is a new neighborhood and I hope I can stay.”

Ross Dubois UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

7

Dayplanner

Amanda Chappel

Events on or around campus

Publisher Michael Huereque

Join the Peace Corps! February 15 Here’s your chance again to join the Peace Corps. You get to travel the world, help those in need and it looks good on your resume. What more could you want?

Starbucks, 504 W. 24th St, 5:30-6:30 PM VAC and the Yellow Ox Mountain

February 16 Everyone’s favorite art center is here to doll up your otherwise dull day with the film Yellow Ox Mountain. Pack your lunch and get your art on down at the VAC. Complimentary sodas and water will be at your fingertips.

Art Building VAC, 12-2 PM

Transcendental meditation February 16 Apparently, there’s this very powerful, magical form of mediation called Isha Kriya. While it’s open for all who’d like to attempt it, beginners should beware as they might gain awesome, life-changing clarity and focus. The ability to meditate for more than five minutes is required Burdine Halle (BUR) 112, 4-5 PM & 6-7 PM

The Schedule WEDNESDAY, FEB 15

Account Executives Nick Lorges Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve

KVRX Pledge Drive kick-off February 17 Your very own student-run non-profit UT radio station is holding a drive for your pledges. Since they don’t take money from the man, they need money from you. Unless you want another BOB FM on your dial, I suggest you show some love.

29th Street Ballroom, 8-11 PM, $5

Your guide to all things burnt orange.

Men’s Tennis

Women’s Basketball

Men’s Basketball

ITA National Team Indoor Championship, Charlottesville, VA, TBA

Texas Tech, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

Oklahoma State, Stillwater, Okla. 3:00 PM

Softball

Women’s Basketball

Texas A&M-Corpus Christi, Austin, Texas, 5:00 PM

Kansas State, Manhattan, KS, 6:00 PM

FRIDAY, FEB 17

Baseball

Men’s Basketball Baylor, Austin, Texas, 8:00 PM

Duke, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

Men’s Tennis

ITA National Team Indoor Championship, Charlottesville, VA, TBA

Softball

ITA National Team Indoor Championship, Charlottesville, VA, TBA

TUESDAY, FEB 21

SUNDAY, FEB 19

Women’s Basketball

Tennessee vs. Illinois, Austin, Texas, 11:30 AM

Men’s Tennis ITA National Team Indoor Championship, Charlottesville, VA, TBA

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Baseball Duke, Austin, Texas, 12:00 PM

Men’s Golf Purdue/Puerto Rico Invite, Rio Mar, Puerto Rico, All Day

Sports Writers Brian Bogart

Circulation Jeremy Tooker

PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC

Men’s Tennis

Softball

Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie

CONTACT uweeklyaustin.com editor@uweeklyaustin.com facebook.com/uweeklyaustin

MONDAY, FEB 20

Duke, Austin, Texas, 6:00 PM

Illinois vs. Pittsburgh, Austin, Texas, 9:00 AM

Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter

Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech

SATURDAY, FEB 18

Baseball

8

The thespian chronicles February 17-18 The Chronicles of Bad Ass Women comes alive on stage in front of anyone who cares about theatre and the lives of women who lived as outlaws.

Winship Drama Building (WIN), 8-10 PM, $10 (credit cards not accepted)

Baylor, Waco, Texas, 6:30 PM

Baseball UT Arlington, Austin, Texas, 6:00 PM BRIAN BOGART

ABOUT UWeekly Austin UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

Air It Out

Dear chick that doesn’t wash her hands in the bathroom, Do you know how disgusting it is to see you barge into the stall next to mine, throw your bag down on the dirty, pissed-all-over floor, plop down on the used public toilet seat (without putting toilet paper or hovering) and piss like a race horse? That’s not to mention that you farted twice and scratched your pubic hair for a good fifteen seconds before marching out of the stall, past the sink and into the public.

The worst part is that you seem to be proud of your anti-hygienic habits. It’s a good thing I’m

SUBMIT TO AIR IT OUT! 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

Opinion Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

That’s what she said.

If you could fight one famous person, who would it be and why?

“I’d like to avada kedavra Stephanie Meyer.”

Kate Peoples

“Probably Summer in 500 days of summer...Because shes a bitch”

Neila Wolff

near a toilet, because I’m about to fucking puke.

Stop relying on the fact that I didn’t see your face, because I did see your shoes. That alone should prompt you to wash your hands out of shame and embarrassment, but then again, you’re quite a different breed, aren’t you?

Signed, You’re the reason people get the flu 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

airitout@uweeklyatx.com

“I would say Olivia Wilde just so I could see her up close cause I’m obsessed with her...huge girl crush”

“Probably Paris Hilton...she is famous for being a whore and that is not ok!”

“I’d like to fight Floyd Mayweather, just so I can put an end to his undefeated legacy! I’d also like to fight ALL the Rebublican candidates right now...only if it solely meant I could run for presidency.”

“Taylor Swift cause she annoys the crap out of me and I want to pull her hair til she cries.”

Mattie Casad

Daisy Klundt

Julissa Rodriguez

Tahlia Martinez

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

9

It’s just a game

UWeekly’s assessment on what really deserves to be called a sport It’s a debate that runs deep into the core of athletic beings. Seriously, how many times has an angry cheerleader confronted the powers-that-be who proclaim her pristine human-body pyramid outside the realms of athletics? I know someone who went to a high school where you could be put on academic probation from chess club. There are a number of mid-level colleges in California who participate in a loose Ultimate Frisbee league. Is it a sport? The question has been asked by many people, and encountered plenty of reductive explanations. So here’s UWeekly’s revisionist perspective on some of the games we play, and whether we deserve to be called an athlete for them.

Ultimate Frisbee Pros: Requires teams, requires running, a pretty solid consensus on all the rules.

Cons: Dude-bro connotations, practically requires a fair amount of weed smoke to play, frisbees are for wusses.

The favorite sport of every disengaged pothead in America, Ultimate Frisbee usually looks more like a floppy sunshine hang-out than a real sport.

It’s actually played in semi-official leagues in colleges that don’t have any other sports teams to show off. But Ultimate Frisbee is eliminated because you’ll never mistake an avid player as an athlete, and generally games derail into perpetual chill-sessions in Elementary School playgrounds.

Verdict: Not a sport

Bowling Pros: Requires a certain level of precision, competition is central to the game.

Cons: You eat nachos and sit on your ass for about 75 percent of the time, being overweight is never an impediment to success.

Let me be clear: I’m not discrediting the skill involved, nor am I bitter about how rarely I escape the gutter in the Union Underground,

but after you see a balding, polo-shirted monstrosity nail three strikes in a row, it’s hard to consider bowling much more than a game. A technical game, a difficult game, a game with a lot of dramatic potential, but still a game. And, yes, I’m aware you can apply that logic to a frightening number of baseball pitchers.

Verdict: Not a sport

Professional Eating Pros: Requires a level of physical aptitude in the most disgusting of ways, clear measure of victory, fun to watch.

Cons: Calling someone who successfully stuffs 54 hotdogs in his face in under three minutes an athlete makes you feel like you’re contradicting your morals.

Let’s face it, a person who manages to fit things into his body at a faster rate than anyone else dumb enough to compete is a remarkable human specimen. There is a level of athleticism there. Sure you can argue all day about how these athletes might want to apply their time into something a little less gross, but for what it’s worth, they’re being sportsmen.

Verdict: Sport

Competitive Gaming Pros: Lots of technical processing needed, high barrier of entry, huge amount of skill involved.

Cons: It’s fucking video games.

This one is actually a tad closer than you might think, as it’s much easier to applaud the technical chops to a guy who’s mastered the Zerg than your dad’s dart game. There is certainly poetry to watching some closed-in virgin hit profoundly specific button-combos to make Ryu uppercut E. Honda off the screen. But still, it’s our fat asses in office chairs. And therefore it is not a sport.

Verdict: Not a sport

Cheerleading Pros: Practice and organization required, significant strength required.

Cons: Not easily gradeable, skirts.

For years the more chauvinistic side of my gender has been calling out cheerleading as meaningless girly tat, probably because they’re only familiarity with the sport are the token cutaways during a football game. But when you watch 12 girls climb on top of each other in less

than 15 seconds, it’s pretty hard to deny. Get over it, cheerleading is totally a sport.

Verdict: Sport

MMA Pros: Insane amount of athleticism required, fun to watch.

Cons: Not far off from a street fight.

There is no question MMA is a powerful, stark display of strength. But there are moments, like watching James Thompson’s cauliflower ear explode, where it can look like human cockfighting. At least boxing has strict regulation, but you can watch a UFC fight where a dude gets immediately leveled with a foot to the cranium. We could consider gladiator fights a sport with this logic.

Verdict: Undecided Luke Winkie

SATURDAY 2.18 Austin City Running Tours Kick-Off 5k-Historical Run

Run begins at Texas Running Company (Lamar & 5th) at 11am Take a free Historical tour of downtown Austin Food, drinks, and plenty of schwag afterwards!

10

CityRunningTours.com

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Meet the CRT staff and maybe even Chuck Norris!

Highlight

Reel

This just in: Jeremy Lin is the real deal. Far be it from me to spout hyperbole about a player who has only started in a handful of games, but keep this juicy little tidbit in mind: In his first four starts as a pro, Jeremy Lin scored more points than Michael Jordan, Allen Iverson, and Shaquille O’Neal in their first four starts. They say records are measured by the company that is kept by those who hold them and in Linsanity’s case, that is some pretty fucking good company.

As long as we’re talking about Jeremy Lin (and let’s face it, who isn’t right now?), Floyd Mayweather had his own comments about the Asian superstar, claiming that he’s currently in the spotlight because of his race. Not only is this far from Mayweather’s first incident when it comes

to controversial comments regarding ethnicity, but it’s almost like he doesn’t even realize the Chinese star has been averaging 27 points, 8 assists, and 4 rebounds in his last five games. Words of advice: never bet against Floyd Mayweather in boxing, but the safer advice would probably be to bet on him saying something stupid.

Just when you thought it was safe to watch NFL football without good ol’ “Beans and Cornbread” Randy Moss poisoning the field and locker room with his toxic attitude, think again. According to multiple sources Moss wants back in the game, and according to Moss himself, he can still run a 4.3 40 just after jumping out of bed. At 35, who knows how Moss will adapt after taking a full year off from the game of football, but it’s not totally out of the question that a few teams would want to take a look at the aging star who is still in good condition for a dude in his mid-30s. Now if only he wasn’t such an asshole.

Photo: Jeremy Lin

The

If you thought this was the time of year for only NFL prospects to get some publicity, think again. Outfielder Yoenis Cespedes, just one of the latest baseball prospects to defect from Cuba to make it big in the US, signed a monstrous (for a rookie anyways) 4 year/$36 million contract with the Oakland A’s. This was a particularly surprising

nab after it looked like the Marlins were going to snatch the talented Cuban before he would have a chance to be wooed by anyone else. As it turned out, the A’s are the team that came out on top and appear to be willing to bet on the talent of the 26 year old phenom before he truly blossoms in the Majors.

Brian Bogart

Shootin’ the Shit Where we answer questions every week from you, the reader “Do you think there’s gonna be drama when Carmelo comes back to New York with Jeremy Lin doing so well?”

—Alexi Himarios Man oh man does everyone want a piece of Jeremy Lin’s shit right now. After his first good game, he was a fun story. After his second game, he was a fan favorite. After his third start or so, however, he became a bona fide phenomenon and now that it’s been Lin-ing time in New York for the last week and a half or so, people in the Big Apple are already starting to ask “Carmelo who?”

the first place comes back in to the picture?

For starters, it’s easy to see why there could be concern. Melo and the Linderella Man are both players who like to play with the ball in their hands, and even though the Super Lintendo plays more of the point guard role than Melo does, they both dictate the pace of the game whenever they play off the dribble.

Now is it possible for two game-dominating

It wouldn’t be surprising to see Melo initially struggle to play the new brand of basketball the Knicks have adopted ever since Lin became the starter.

Hard to think that Carmelo Anthony could ever be an afterthought in a basketball season, especially when he’s playing in New York, of all places, but that’s exactly what he’s become after his sluggish start to the season.

Now that the people of New York seem to have found the superstar they’ve been aching for, the big question now is, what happens when the other superstar they wanted in

ballers to co-exist on the same team?

Absolutely, especially given the way Lin likes to distribute the ball and set up his teammates; but it wouldn’t be surprising to see Melo initially struggle to play the new brand of basketball the Knicks have adopted ever since Lin became the starter. But hey, if Melo says they can play together I don’t see why it shouldn’t work out.

What will be most interesting, however,

Photo: David Shankbone

will be to see who emerges as New York’s true number one, which is something we probably won’t know until the season ends and Lin and Anthony have played enough games together to know where they stand. I think the biggest potential problem that could emerge would be if Lin instantly becomes “the guy,” forcing Carmelo to accept a role he’s never had to accept before: being number two. If that happens, things could potentially get uncomfortable for the Knicks. Luckily for New York fans, Lin has had plenty of experience playing behind others and seems humble enough to willingly accept whatever role

his team needs him in. At the end of the day, though, Linvincible was the perfect right-time right-place hero for the Knickerbockers and, if nothing else, his emergence is a wonderful thing for the NBA and fans in NY. Now here’s hoping that two superstars can play on the same team in peace and keep winning games, cause this has been one fun ride to watch.

Have a sports-related question you want answered in UWeekly? Tweet it to me @BrianEBogart or email sports@uweeklyatx.com and you just may be lucky enough to make it into next week’s issue.

Brian Bogart

Y L K E E W Y A W A E V I G

WIN TICKETS

LIVE IN CONCERT Go to our Facebook Page or check out our website for details on how to enter! facebook.com/uweeklyaustin | uweeklyatx.com

Pick on these guys

the worst receiving posse in the game, which made Blaine Gabbert’s awful play look even worse last year. With something to throw to he could at least look competent. The Jaguars are in desperate need of something vaguely resembling offensive structure.

CAROLINA PANTHERS: QUINTON COPLES

UWeekly looks at some of the blue-chip prospects in the upcoming NFL draft

Throughout last season, Carolina always seemed like one of those teams that was better than their record indicated. Between Cam Newton’s electric play, Steve Johnson’s beastliness, as well as the other young talent that occupies Carolina, Coples is a crucial piece to a puzzle that may very well be just a few pieces away from being complete.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: ANDREW LUCK It’s looking more and more likely that the Colts organization and Peyton Manning are headed for an ugly, ugly divorce, which all but solidifies Andrew Luck as the no. 1 overall pick in the 2012 NFL draft. Considered by many to be a sure thing, Luck’s career at Stanford bordered on legendary, exhibiting confidence, poise, and a sky-high football IQ. If he lives up to his hype— and Luck does flaunt a Manning-like savvy—it could be mythic, perhaps comparable to Joe Montana or Steve Young.

ST. LOUIS RAMS: JUSTIN BLACKMON In nearly every draft in recent years, there’s always seemed to be one pretty clear-cut freak WR prospect that projects to be the next Jerry Rice. Dez Bryant in ’09, A.J. Green a year ago, and now Blackmon, who is living proof that Oklahoma State knows how to churn out some damn good receivers. Truth be told, it’s hard to dissect any real flaws to Blackmon’s game: twotime Biletnikoff Award winner, the only wide receiver to win Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year, Fiesta Bowl MVP, you get the idea. Maybe most impressive about Blackmon, however, is his ability to out-fight multiple defenders for a football, as many defenses have defensive game plans geared specifically towards him but always seem to get beat. Plain and simple, St. Louis needs a dynamic playmaker of Blackmon’s caliber for Sam Bradford to throw to if they’re going to perform any better offensively than their woeful 2011 campaign.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS: MATT KALIL The Vikings really aren’t that bad of a team.

They’ve got a solid defensive front lead by Jared Allen, a solid receiving corps, and an intriguing project in Christian Ponder. Unlike a lot of teams in the top 10, they can afford to spend

14

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photo: Craig ONeal

a pick on a foot soldier. Matt Kalil is arguably the best offensive tackle in the draft, someone who can facilitate Ponder’s confidence in the pocket. They’ll need it, too, considering they’re playing in the same division as Brian Urlacher and Ndamukong Suh.

looking to make some noise. But that probably won’t happen and instead they’ll use the pick on a high-upside, safe pick like Claiborne, who’s easily the best cornerback in the draft, and hope Freeman, Mike Williams, and Kellen Winslow will emerge from whatever funk they were in last year.

CLEVELAND BROWNS: ROBERT GRIFFIN III

WASHINGTON REDSKINS: DAVID DECASTRO

The funny thing is, in a lot of drafts, RGIII could easily be a number one overall prospect.

But when the other stud QB in your class is apparently the greatest thing since two-piece bathing suits, and the second and third team in the drafts already have established QB’s, I suppose a guy could settle for fourth overall.

We all know what RGIII brings to the table: Poise, athleticism, a cannon arm, and a winning attitude; but what some might not know is that the Griffinator has the potential to be every bit as good as, or even better than, Andrew Luck in the NFL. Only time will tell how the two young guns will pan out in their careers, but when you get to this level of talent you’re really just splitting hairs. Truthfully, any team would be incredibly lucky to have either guy and in this case it seems like the Browns might be lucky enough to walk away with the Heisman winner from Baylor.

This offensive line standout was absolutely imperative to Andrew Luck’s success in the pocket at Stanford. It’s one of the reasons why, when the Cardinals experience a dramatic drop-off next year, Luck’s departure won’t have everything to do with it. Washington probably

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: MORRIS CLAIBORNE This one’s a little tough, simply because the Buccaneers were probably the worst team in the league at the end of the year. It’s tempting to say the Bucs could drop a pick on a hot new quarterback to offer competition to the horrid football Josh Freeman was playing at the end of the year, especially with new coach Greg Schiano

MIAMI DOLPHINS: MICHAEL BROCKERS The Dolphins may very well go QB, but Matt Moore has played well and they’re a prime contender in the upcoming Peyton Manning sweepstakes. So we’re tempted to think they’ll go with a dominant defensive guy like Brockers: tall, powerful, and giant. With the departure of the perennial juggernaut Jason Taylor, they’ll need someone like him.

BUFFALO BILLS: COURTNEY UPSHAW I originally wanted to put Trent Richardson here because even though he doesn’t fill a

It’s not a stretch to say Jacksonville currently rolls with the worst receiving posse in the game, which made Blaine Gabbert’s awful play look even worse last year. won’t go for a QB here, since RGIII will likely be gone and they usually like to play the QB freeagency roulette, but a competent offensive line would sure be a good start for this franchise that seems to have been moving in slow motion for the last half-decade or so.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: ALSHON JEFFERY Assuming a team higher in the draft makes the right decision and drafts Justin Blackmon, the Jags will be stuck taking the second-best receiving prospect in the class. It’s not a stretch to say Jacksonville currently rolls with

huge need for the Bills, he’s a special offensive talent and a legitimate top ten prospect that has earned his recognition. Courtney Upshaw, on the other hand, is both a great talent and fills a huge need for the Bills, who were 32nd in the NFL last year in total sacks (which is last place for those keeping score at home).

While Upshaw doesn’t necessarily bring jawdropping measurables to the table, he plays with a versatility and maturity that you just don’t see from most rookies. Those intangibles alone make him worthy of a top 10 selection and a potential instant contributor to the Bills.

Luke Winkie and Brian Bogart

Yelawolf

elawolf is one of the most unlikely pop stars you’ll ever meet.

Growing up in a microscopic Alabama town with failed aspirations as a professional skateboarder, he moved to the west coast and briefly signed to a major label before scaling back and putting out a few mixtapes to an increasing appetite. He eventually caught the interest of Eminem who fastened him to his Shady imprint, and at the age of 32, had a top-30 album in Radioactive. The scrawny, self-inked white kid from the south could be the poster-boy for the music-industry underdog. Yela will be playing at the Beauty Ballroom on Feb. 17.

It was only a little while ago that you were an unsigned, no-name rapper.

Now you’re in magazines and signed to Eminem’s label. Are you content with your career right now?

I’m never content with my career, that’s the gift and the curse. A moment flies by and it’s on to the next. You gotta enjoy it and move forward. I see three albums ahead. It’s just the way I am.

You’ve got a history of label-drama: You had an album shelved a few years ago. Now that Radioactive is out, do you feel vindicated?

I’ve never had a record shelved before; I wasn’t on a label long enough to be shelved. The music I signed with I left with and we started dropping mixtapes in Atlanta. Ghet-O-Vision is the label, always has been, and KP, Bear and Jdot never dropped me. Believe me I’ve given them reasons to and they have given me reasons to leave. But we’re a family-operated label. You get through the BS then business gets handled and music gets out. We don’t fuck around.

As far as signing to Shady, well that’s the effects of my personal vision combined with my team’s good business. Shady is the perfect platform for me. But even a name as powerful as Shady is only as good as your own work ethic and team control. You got to grow into a coach and at the same time be a listener and pass the ball.

I think people often feel like you’re new to the game because they don’t know your extensive back-history. Do you think you have a different perspective on

16

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

the industry as someone who released their first record in their early 30s?

I feel like I’m ushering in a new way of thinking as far as what is expected of a “new artist” in hiphop. I’ve never thought music to be a kids’ sport.

It is absolutely not a kids’ sport. And half of these successful artists are well into their 30s. I tried to run from it for a while, but then I said fuck it and said on a Funk Master Flex freestyle that “I was 32 and killin’ shit.” I liberated myself, like, “Fuck yeah I AM killin’ shit.” Now what? I embraced it all immediately. The greatest in the game are in their early 40s. Rock or hip-hop, I’ve got plenty of time. But I’d rather look like Willie Nelson than get a fuckin’ face lift. One day I’m going to be the illest old white motherfucker that ever lived in hip-hop and rock. Classic is the standard.

With guys like Big K.R.I.T., Kendrick Lamar, the Odd Future kids, and others coming up, how do you feel about the state of hip-hop right now?

didn’t connect with people because we wore the same shit or all smoked weed or drank whiskey or rode Chevys. We connect cause of who our parents were, or who our parents were not. Family shit. Wolf Pack.

Lastly, how do you like Austin?

Austin is one of the last real music cities in America. And I’m proud to say that SXSW was the pivotal point in my career. I hope to always have a presence in Austin because I love being there. I love the food, the folks, the countryass bars. And the shows are always ridiculous! I’ll see y’all soon!

Luke Winkie

I think it’s dope. They’ve all got so much to offer. Each one of these dudes kill shit and none of them sound the same. Throw in Rittz, BurnOn, G Side.... There’s an eclectic group of artists there. I think artists are starting to see the value in individuality again, but it can go two ways. Either they stay the course in the medium or they alienate the people by being too fuckin’ weird. Music, and especially hip-hop music, is a culture of extreme trends. So if you’re leading someone, just make sure they’re still following you in ten years and they’re not embarrassed that they were once fans because you convinced them that spandex jeans was a good look.

Are you thinking about new music yet?

Always. New album in the works.

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say you’re famous. How have your audiences been lately?

I just did the biggest show of my career at Wild Bill’s in Georgia, and it was the best feeling ever. But it’s funny, cause I don’t feel like the crowd is getting distant yet. Like, I don’t feel any different than rockin’ 200 people. They all just look like a bunch of kids I know. That’s the cool shit about my shows, we’re all just honestly cut from the same cloth. I

Image: Lionel Deluy

Y

UWeekly sits down with Shady Records artist Yelawolf

New venue glams up East Riverside Beauty Ballroom joins Emo’s East in providing more live music Austin’s music scene has gained another venue. Although it’s a familiar name, Beauty Ballroom is located on the same block as Emo’s East on East Riverside Drive.

Beauty Ballroom is the first ballroom in the Beauty Bar franchise because of its size.

The location can hold 700 people at capacity and the two sections give people different

plans to shut down the Beauty Bar location on downtown 7th Street and reopen it to something else when this idea came along.

There was hesitation though to open a venue on East Riverside Drive.

“Once we got over here and Frank started showing us around with the neighborhoods and stuff, we felt that even though it’s

“We feel that you have something cool going on, you don’t have to be downtown to make it work.” views of the stage. The idea to open the new venue started when Frank Hendrix, owner of Emo’s, approached the owners behind Beauty Bar this past summer about a 50/50 partnership for a bigger venue.

Bart Butler, talent buyer and co-owner for Beauty Ballroom, said that they already had

not necessarily a walk-up market like it is downtown, we feel like there’s plenty of an audience to hit over here,” said Butler. “We feel that you have something cool going on, you don’t have to be downtown to make it work. Emo’s has already proven that. We feel like we have, too, really. If you have a

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 1, 2012

17

good show, you have a good party going on, people are going to show up for it.”

The addition of looking at the former nightclub, which became the location of Beauty Ballroom, also convinced them to

Photo: Devaki Knowles

join the partnership.

“It’s such an awesome layout that we really couldn’t pass it up,” said Beauty Ballroom marketing director Ross Bennett.

Continued on Page 20 “We like the

Tea Farm Recordings

The Grammys: Why Stevie Wonder was the true winner

Record label and recording studio debut in Austin

Photo:Sarah Vasquez

It’s Saturday night on Feb. 11 and Jared Marshall, relationship and personal rapport with the Brandon Maguire and Abbey Lane are celebrating band. Then it becomes a studio environment. with their friends along with food and music.

Maguire said that he notices as he gets older, “We just actually did it. We followed he transforms his roles in music. When he was through,” said Lane. a teenager, he performed in bands where the The three were celebrating the official dream was to be a full-time musician. He was launch of Tea Farm Recordings and Neonbeard, in a band in Phoenix, Ariz. and even played and a recording studio and record label run and set up shows with several Austin bands such owned by Marshall and couple Maguire and as Zorch and Smoke and Feathers. But as he’s Lane, respectively. gotten older, he said he has grown into more While they do join forces on some projects, of a leadership role because of his experiences they are separate entities. However, they both and connections in the music industry. have similar mentalities on what drives them in “I’m really not about making the million dollars these businesses: the music. or having fame and fortune,” said Maguire. “I just “We’re just trying to pick good want to have a happy, cool, minimalist musicians and good people life with people that I can trust and help them put out and respect around me. If “Really records. Put music out we end up being some at the end of for people to listen big deal, then that’s to and work with amazing. But if we’re the day, I’m doing them so that we just a little thing too, this because I have fun both get an even that’s cool.” with it. The day it’s profit, of course, The three met and are happy,” said at the apartment not fun for me is Lane. “It’s just about complex they lived probably the spreading the music.” at. After Lane struck day that I stop “Really at the end up a conversation of the day, I’m doing this with Marshall in passing, doing it.” because I have fun with it,” said Marshall went to the Marshall. “The day it’s not fun for me apartment and met Maguire. is probably the day that I stop doing it.”

They became friends, but it was a Marshall currently works a day job selling cell conversation where Maguire mentioned he phones which helped secure the location that was trying to record some solo stuff that became the home of Tea Farm Recordings. But Marshall offered his recording services. he also said that if he can make enough to pay “That’s really what cemented the bond his bills through his studio, he will be happy. probably there,” said Marshall.

“An engineer is fun. It’s cool you get to The two worked on another track afterwards record, but in the end, like anything, you want and it just went from there. Meanwhile during to record people and music that you enjoy,” their friendship, the three were working on said Marshall. “You don’t want it to be— Then their own business. Marshall wanted to open a it’s the same thing as another 9 to 5. You’re just recording studio while Maguire and Lane were doing something you don’t really want to do.” trying to start a record label.

He said that his ideal situation is to record “I guess that the seedlings were germinating bands that he’s really into and create a personal for our own business ventures separately. So

18

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Sure, it was great to see folk songwriter Bon Iver take home the Best New Artist award, or see songstress Adele snag six Grammys and perform her powerful love-gone-sour anthem, “Rolling in the Deep,” but let’s face it: in all the good there has to be some bad, and that bad was Nicki Minaj’s performance. From singing off-key (one Twitter user described her vocal delivery as being a cross between Christ Tucker in The Fifth Element, Wall-E and a mechanical larynx), to pissing off just about every conservative person viewing, Minaj’s performance was weird, weird and weird. So, kudos to you Wonder; you only experienced half of the freak-show we had to endure.

Photo: Asterio Tecson

Whitney Houston dies at 48, people celebrate by butchering her classic

For a while we all believed that Blue Ivy Carter, the daughter of Jay-Z and Beyonce, would come out looking like some horrific monster. Rapper 50 Cent took to his Twitter soon after hearing of Carter’s birth, and jokingly made a not-so-appealing picture of what the baby might look like (it was pretty fucking gross). Luckily, Carter looks nothing like that. Although arguments have been going around as to who she resembles more, the newborn is adorable and already has an awesome future ahead of her. Move over Kreayshawn; Beyonce obviously has the swag pumping out of her ovaries.

The title sounds bad, but really it serves to prove a point: no one can do it like Houston. Don’t front: You know you’ve sung “I Will Always Love You” at least once in your life. Whether it be to yourself, with a group of friends or to that one person you hoped would appreciate it but in the end shot you down and compared your singing to a dying cat, we’ve all had our experiences with the classic hit song. Later on in her career, erratic behavior on- and off-screen would unfortunately come to overshadow the Houston that we all fell in love with. Nevertheless, Houston will still be remembered as a pop and R&B diva that gave us many memorable hits. And for that, we will always love you (pun totally intended).

Eli Watson

that was just us living our lives and crossing paths,” said Marshall. “Everything kind of happened together.”

The first official move was when Marshall secured the Tea Farm Recordings location in November.

“Once that happened, it was like, all right, it’s on. I guess it’s on,” said Marshall. “We both knew in that way, that ok, this could definitely work and happen as opposed to being a concept or something you’re striving for.”

Neonbeard will release experimental rock band Boyfrndz’ EP on 10” vinyl tentatively

before South by Southwest Music Festival in March. Maguire said that things are going great. He has a spot and is putting out records.

“You’re not a record label until you put out a record. You’re not a studio unless you record a band. We pretty much did that so now it’s just, like, well let’s see what other cool shit we can put together,” said Maguire.

“The beauty of this is anybody can do it.

Anybody can start a Neonbeard. Anybody can do a Tea Farm. It’s just how bad do you want it.”

Sarah Vasquez

First pictures of Blue Ivy Carter released; skeptics hoping for otherworldly creature disappointed

Furnished Apartments Available Individual Leases

e app

r FREE iPhon

Download ou

pus.com

QuartersOnCam

512.610

.7613

Follow us on Twitter

Like us on Fac

ebook

The Bi Files

Bisexuals: are they just opportunistic or are they just like everyone else?

There are a lot of myths surrounding the You have to pick a side concept of bisexuality. Some of them true, some of Uh, no you don’t. No one does. In life, there them not so true. One of the biggest misconceptions are many shades of gray, and that holds true for love and sex. The fact that someone feels regarding bisexuality is that it isn’t real.

As if bis are some sort of sexual Bigfoot or compelled to get another to chose a definitive Loch Ness Monster, many people, the majority of side shows a lack of understanding and them straight, view bisexuals as sexual deviants, flexibility. Don’t indulge these people.

As Suzy Nextdoor, who asked that her real perverts who are just exploiting any opportunity that comes their way. To many, they are in a class name be changed, learned the hard way, the gay community can be the hardest on bis. lower than regular homosexuals.

“I feel like the gay community There are mixed emotions about accepts me as long as I’m dating a bisexuals even amongst gays.

We’re all woman or single,” said Nextdoor.

Regardless of whom you ask, Nextdoor also goes on to explain there seems to be a general inherently that as long as her relationships request directed towards these bisexual. with men are in the past, she’s a particular members of society and welcomed member of the club, but that’s to pick a side and stick with it. as soon as she takes an active interest But it isn’t so simple, as much of life in men, she’s shunned by her own kind. isn’t black or white. This kind of thinking, “They feel like you’re just kind of posing especially when it comes from other gays, is or exploiting” opportunities to be with both hurtful and unnecessary. As anyone who’s struggled with their sexuality can tell you, it’s sexes, but Nextdoor protests. “I think it’s bullshit for you to have to pick a side.” painful and confusing enough to figure out this stuff on your own, much less have others pressure There’s no such thing as bisexuality; you or to question the decisions you’ve made.

So as we journey upon our path of sexual freedom there’s only gay or straight “We’re all inherently bisexual; which I know is and liberation, let’s debunk some commonly held a very controversial statement,” said Nextdoor. myths about these beautiful creatures.

Whether or not you agree, people who do believe this have a right to their views.

This sentiment might not even be sexual in nature, as Nextdoor believes that it’s possible to be attracted to someone, but not sexually attracted to them.

“We’re all attracted to attractive people,” said Nextdoor, and what can make for an attraction are the qualities you look for in an ideal mate. If someone has the same qualities that you look for in a person and they happen to be of the same sexual assignment, you’re more likely to develop an attraction to that person.

types of people, people who live comfortably within the bubble of societal acceptance.

“It might be people who have never had their orientation challenged,” said Nextdoor.

Nextdoor also goes on to dissect why people feel they have the right to challenge another’s orientation at all.

“We live in a country full of people feeling like they have the right to do whatever the hell they want to,” said Nextdoor. But that doesn’t make it right. You know what they say about assuming!

Bisexuals can’t stay faithful

“I think people see it as we’re just whores,” said Nextdoor. Which simply isn’t true. Bisexuals, just like hetero- or homosexuals, have a very distinct and unique sexual and romantic radar.

But this line of thinking can baffle even people like Nextdoor.

“I don’t know why people believe that” bisexuals are confused or whores, said Nextdoor. She also goes on to explain that this type of thinking usually comes from certain

“Dating bis is harder if you’re insecure,” said Nextdoor. As Nextdoor points out, it’s not that bisexuals are attracted to twice as many people, but rather they are attracted to a wider range of people.

“I don’t know that I’m attracted to twice as many people as the rest of the population,” said Nextdoor. The level of your sex drive is the same, regardless of whom you’re attracted to.

If you do have a relationship with someone who is bisexual, make sure that you are secure in your connection with them, or else you’ll feel like you’re competing with more of the general population.

“That’s what happened with my ex. She couldn’t handle it,” said Nextdoor.

So the next time you start questioning the validity of someone’s bisexuality, stop and think about how you would like it if someone told you that your sexuality didn’t exist or that you are a whore simply for being gay or straight. My guess is that you’re not going to agree with them.

Amanda Chappel

place opened,” said Bennett. “Once Emo’s opened, people were still kind of, ‘Well I don’t know why we would go down there,’ but with another place on the block, there’s a little bit more positive attitude rolling around. People are starting to see the benefits and starting to see we aren’t just, like, making a poor decision by moving over here and that we really thought through our plan. We plan to grow here.”

“The best things that I’ve heard have been when I’m bartending and no one knows who I am, just overhearing people say nothing about positive stuff,” said Butler. “I haven’t heard one negative remark so far.”

Walking into Beauty Ballroom, one will

notice the signature glitter on the walls that is a staple in the Beauty Bar brand. Steven Hammel, who designs all the Beauty Bar locations, came down and loved the room. He said the place was so big that it couldn’t be all glitter though.

“He kept the glitter to, I guess you can call it a minimum to him. Only half the walls are glitter instead of all of them,” said Butler. “My request to him was don’t do anything pink, which he didn’t.”

However, the outside sign is the pink Beauty Ballroom logo.

“That was the only thing we wanted pink,” said Butler.

Sarah Vasquez

Bis are either really confused or opportunistic pervs

Continued from beauty ballroom Page 17

idea of this room and trying out something bigger,” said Butler. “We didn’t like the format that was working for us downtown like the DJ/band format. It would work some nights, but other nights, we had a lot of conflicting interests. Some people wanted to just come there to hang out and dance for free and a lot of people came there for shows. We feel like over here, we can give people a little bit of both and do it better.”

The downtown location will close after South

by Southwest Music Festival in mid-March, but Butler said that they will reopen with a new music venue concept. They plan to change the room to be more accessible. Though right now, Beauty Ballroom is his current priority.

20

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

“I would rather just concentrate on a big, bad-ass place like this than stick with the same old story downtown,” said Butler. “We feel like we could branch out a whole lot market-wise.

We were kind of pigeonholed into a certain formula there. I feel a lot more freedom booking the place over here now. It’s like we can book whatever we want.”

The idea is to host mid-size club tours, national tours and bigger local bands. Recently, Theophilus London, The Octopus Project and Wild Child played there. Yelawolf will perform on Feb. 17, and, according to Bennett and Butler, the reception has been positive.

“So far people have been pretty positive about the whole thing, especially when this

ARRYN ZECH

Now that Valentines Day is over, y’all can go back into your man-caves and play away at video games instead of pretending to be a romantic for a day. There are a few things coming out soon that I can guarantee you will be lost in to mute the dull whining of the nagging girlfriend with a case of the post-Valentine’s high.

Mass Effect 3 Mass Effect 3 is to be released in a few weeks on March 6th, though a 90-minute demo has already been released to give you a taste of what’s to come for Commander Shepard.

Though I haven’t played myself, looking at the demo reels online have shown some pretty sweet improvements to an already pretty sweet game.

Larger differences to the game are the different modes that you can now play the game in. You can limit the role-playing aspects of the game in “Action” mode which plays the dialogs as cut scenes instead of allowing you to respond to each given situation. The shoot-outs last longer than before in “Action.” You can also play in “Story” mode, which is supposed to be easier than “Action,” but not easier than “Role-Playing” mode. In “Action” mode, I have a feeling you’ll be able to tell the difference in how combat has gotten cleaner and less glitchy or laggy.

The game also offers smoother weapon

flexibility than the previous two Mass Effect games. Now you’re able to obtain weapons and items and use them immediately, like other various firstperson shooters.

You, of course, also have a wider range of weaponry to choose from in addition to the instause for dropped items.

The game’s demo only lasts an hour and a half, but according to users, that’s just enough to suck you back in.

to be desired, but what it lacks in megapixels, it gains with the 3G feature available on some of the devices.

The more expensive of the Vitas come equipped with 3G Internet access, including Wifi. As expected, the use of these features lowers battery life, so you’ve gotta ration your use well.

Also comparable to the iPhone, is the Vita’s application system, including things like Maps, Photos, and Friends. It’s as though you took your PlayStation and condensed it into a portable device.

The most impressive feature about the Vita is supposed to be the wide range of very intricate games that you can play. Games from Uncharted, with brilliant scenery, to Rayman, with vast amounts of vibrant colors, are said to be playable on the device.

Because the device isn’t out yet for all of us lovely Americans, we have to stick to what is being reviewed for the newest handheld gaming device, instead of what it can actually do. Once it’s out though, don’t think I won’t re-review that sucker.

The more expensive of the Vitas come equipped with 3G Internet access, including Wifi. As expected, the use of these features lowers battery life, so you’ve gotta ration your use well.

PlayStation Vita On February 22nd, you could be the proud owner of a new PlayStation Vita. It’ll only set you back about 300 bucks.

The Vita is the Nintendo DS’ newest rival, combating in handheld game play. The display screen on the Vita is comparable to the iPhone 4S with its crisp images that burst with color. The controls on the Vita are sleek, but close together.

They respond well to touch, but if you’re not a fan of them, the Vita is complete with a sensor, so just tilting the device can make you move in a game.

The camera on the device leaves much

Arryn Zech UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

21

The

te deofba the BOOKS Chances are, as you’re thumbing through this issue of UWeekly, you have about 200 pages of textbook to get through. You know what I’m talking about, all those spaces on the class schedule with page numbers instead of homework. Do you let them pile up until the dwindling hours before

the midterm? Or are you that erstwhile, diligent student who sacrifices sleep, food, and socializing to dig through their entire course listing? You have the floor, UT.

Luke Winkie

What should you be reading right now?

• I’m actually all done with my reading. Yes, on a Saturday I’m already done. —Tameka Brackens • I’m a physics major. I’m not reading anything. —Kurt Maske • I’m reading The Return of Martin Guerre, and I’m actually enjoying it! —Lakisha Linsey

• I’ve honestly lost track. —Serena Lebow • If I actually dedicated the time to get the readings done, I don’t think I’d have time to leave the house. —Clayton Carta • There’s a reason I’m at Plucker’s right now. —Guy Meaux

Can you honestly say that you’ve read every book you’ve ever been assigned in college?

• No, but I can claim higher than 90 percent. —Ted Cada

• I can claim I’ve looked up cliffnotes of every book I’ve ever been assigned in college. —Chandra Pellegren

• If I said yes, would you call me a geek? —Fernando Grullon • What the profs don’t know won’t hurt them. —Darryl Moskal • It really isn’t that hard, okay? —Lenore Driver • I call it civil disobedience. —Katherine Bevil

There has to be a book in college you’ve actually enjoyed, right?

• Absolutely, I feel very enriched! —Jerri Lambdin

• My Astronomy textbook had some interesting opinions about time travel. —Olivia Reading

• I wouldn’t have my crush on Flannery O’Connor without college.

—Lonnie Quinto

When you think of all the money your parents are spending on your tuition, do you ever feel guilty about not reading your books?

22

• Oh totally, it’s the motivation I need when trying to get through 20 pages of, like, human geography. —Ralph Congdon

• I feel much guiltier when I’m taking an E-Bus back to campus on a Sunday. —Eric Hook

• My dad’s a professor, he’s got me on lockdown. —Fred Weitzel

• I’m a grad student, they couldn’t give a shit. —Julie Camara

• I just love books, okay? Isn’t that enough for your stupid interview?

—Anna Puleo

• My parents are just bewildered that I got into college.

—Adam Terwilliger

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photos: Eli Watson

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

23

stein

Photos:Alan Bern

Inte rested in sett ing up a tour for your group or Greek organization? !

Call 877.415.0058 for mor e information

nkfurt Photos: Tweety Fra

You’re this week’s winner!

Contact us on Facebook to collect $25!*

The local 2610 Guadalupe Street

Varsity Bar 2324 Guadalupe Street

the stage 508 East Sixth Street

chupacabra 400 East Sixth Street

the local 2610 Guadalupe Street *If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! Contact us Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!)

For more party pics, go to uweeklyaustin.com.

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15. 2012

25

Super Crossword

Crypto Quip

Clue: F Equals U

This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

26

all mine

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Sudoku

Click-Clack It was an Apple product that motivated Click-Clack, also known as Eric Mikulak, to start working with hip-hop. After his mom bought a Macintosh computer, he started messing around with GarageBand and made his own beats and recorded his own songs. Now he’s getting ready to release his first record Housework on Feb. 17 at Beauty Bar.

Is this your first record?

Pretty much. It’s the first one that’s all me. I released mixtapes before. I’ve been rapping since I was 15, so I’ve released mixtapes before in high school and stuff, but this is the first one that I can fully take serious.

What other projects have you done in the past?

I’ve been in quite a few bands. I still associate with SiP SiP and I had a solo project—not really a solo project but more of my own band in Karmatron. That was a five-piece including me. That was more of, like, funk, soul and backing band instead of me just rapping and singing some. That was a lot of fun, but we all sort of developed and went our separate ways. A couple of those dudes are playing with Ruby Jane now, and they play Lollapalooza and ACL (Austin City Limits Music Festival), so they’re doing well for themselves too.

I actually saw them at ACL. Yeah, Colter and Kai are good buddies of mine. They are the rhythm section. They lay shit down. Karmatron, we played a lot of places. I played a lot of places with SiP SiP too, and I have played two shows at Beauty Bar by myself. I literally press space bar on a computer and rap for, like, 30 or 40 minutes straight.

Do you find that solo shows are a little bit more intimating than band shows?

No, live is a release for me. I’ll get stressed out some the day of, but performing my songs live is what does it for me.

I read that after years of working and 350 tracks, you are releasing this. How did you narrow the tracks down for this album?

Um, I don’t know. I wanted to do something that was just me where I produced all the beats. Because I recorded a whole mixtape basically on other people’s beats and got mastered and everything and ended up

not wanting to release it, because I started making my own beats again. To me, it’s probably 40 tracks that were just me and then just narrowed them down to 13 or 14. But my main reason I’m making this is to finally have a project where I’m producing and MCing.

What is your influence when it comes to making your own beats?

I don’t know. I just find something I like and trying to make a sample unrecognizable and change it enough to where it’s a completely differentsounding thing and then build off of that. I usually start with a click track and try to sample something to it and then build around that.

“My main reason I’m making this is to finally have a project where I’m producing and MCing.”

I saw your video for “Bulletwound.”

What was that like filming it? How did the idea come about?

We had this whole plan to film a video, and we had a date set where we were going to film it at The Parish. Then one night, I was working and Cory (Green from Vagabond Collective, also the video’s director/ producer) just texted me and said, you want to do a video? He had Aaron Benson (cinematographer) ready to film, and so we just went to this rooftop and did it in one night. I just sent a text out to my friends saying, like, if you want to be in a video, come tonight. We

just threw it together spontaneously. There wasn’t really a plot or anything. Cory just kind of snapped into director mode and orchestrated all of us and told us what the shots were going to be even though he doesn’t film or do anything of that sort. He’s not really a videographer or anything. He just orchestrated it. It worked out. I had the idea to do the last shot. The last shot we recorded with me rapping it way faster and the beat sped up, so we could slow down the footage, but that was basically the only thing we had planned.

I went home after work and changed the song and then brought it to the rooftop. So it was like us both being insane and wanting to get it done, because we’d been talking about it.

Thursday you’re celebrating the release. How does it feel to release it?

Are you excited? What are you feeling right now?

Yeah, of course I’m excited. Been a long time coming, I guess. That’s kind of cheesy.

Well how long has it been?

I don’t know. The main pool of tracks that I selected from I’ve been working on for eight or nine months.

It took me a long time to get to the point where I was fully comfortable rapping on my own beats, and thinking that they were subsistent by themselves. It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been fucking working on this shit since I was 15, and finally I’m taking something serious and getting merch for it and playing shows around here. I’m excited.

Sarah Vasquez UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

27

Wednesday

thursday

The Polyphonic Spree

Scout and Team

The Late Show: The Room

@ La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

@ ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Have you ever wanted to be in a cult? Wednesday is your opportunity to feel all the joy, confusion, and insanity that is mass belief. Dallas’ own pseudo-cult The Polyphonic Spree bring the bombast and hyper enthusiasm with over twenty members on every different instrument known to man. These robed rockers will cast an uncanny sense of glee over the audience. Their symphonic pop rock will have you believing in whatever they tell you, and you will be so ecstatic you won’t question any questionable Kool-Aid that is being handed out.

Throw that TV out the window of your dorm, get on your bike, and head over to ColdTowne on Thursday; this is going to be the comedy event of the milenium. The show will start off with free beer, snacks, and entertainment by Mac Blake. If your gut is still not busted after all of that beer, food, and laughs, ColdTowne’s in-house improv troupe will feed you not one, but two very “deep dish” sets of some quite decadent and delicious long-form improvised comedy.

Tickets: www.coldtownetheater.com

Tickets: www.lazonarosa.com

The top events & shows in Austin this week Will bass 28

friday

There is something about terrible movies that we all love. While some are just plain bad, some movies take awfulness to a level that is redeemed though humor. The bad acting, terrible scripts, and terrible effects all have a place in all of our hearts. Whatever is it that draws you to enjoy bad movies, The Room will no doubt satisfy all of your bad movie desires. Written, funded, and directed by the star himself, The Room will ride that equivocal line between awful and funny. See for yourself.

Tickets; www.originalalamo.com

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Weird Wednesday: Shanty Tramp

Codes

Yelawolf

Painting with a Twist

Civilization (Theatre)

KVRX Pledge Drive: Rindo Deathstar

Comedy Open Mic

ST 37

Austin Ballet: New American Talent

Boombox

Shakey Graves

Funk and Soul Friday

HarMar Superstar

Arcadia (Theatre)

Yellow Dubmarine

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Painting with a Twist, 8820 Burnet Austin Java, 12th and Lamar Parish, 214 E 6th Mohawk, 912 Red River

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Beauty Bar, 617 E 7th Salvage Vanguard Theatre, 2803 Manor Trailer Space, 1401 Rosewood Dr Mohawk, 912 Red River Long Center, 701 W Riverside

Beauty Ballroom, 2015 E Riverside 29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St Long Center, 701 Riverside Mohawk, 912 Red River

Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th

saturday

sunday

monday

Music Monday:

Flaming Lips and the Shins @ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

If you’ve never seen the Flaming Lips before, seeing them do their thing on the big screen at the Alamo is a good substitute. In addition, the Shins will also open up this live prerecorded music on a big screen experience.

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

Talking Heads Hoot Night @ Antone’s, 213 W 5th

Unfortunately, time machines haven’t been invented yet (we’re still waiting for hoverboards, too.)

Consequently, you can only experience some of your favorite bands through the power of recorded music.

However, thanks to the Hoot Night, you can experience some of your favorite bands vicariously through some of Austin’s finest musicians. This Hoot Night will go out to everyone’s favorite New Wave band, the Talking Heads. Sing your favorite hits along with the band while pretending to live in a different decade.

Austin Jazz Society @ Elephant Room, 315 S Congress

In a town dominated by guitars, horn instruments are a pleasant relief to the ears. Head underground to the Elephant Room. On top of the great music, the club has an authentic jazz speakeasy vibe to it.

►►Also Worthy

Rock N Roll Karaoke Beerland, 711 Red River

Kingdom

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

tuesday

Tittie Bingo

Tickets: www.antones.net

@ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

What do edited versions of porn parodies and bingo have in common? Find out at the Highball.

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Wolfgang Gartner

Bloody Knives

Karaoke Underground

Scott Kelly (Neurosis)

Girllie Night Afternoon Tea: Shakespeare In Love

Andy Grammar

Comedy Gong Show

CineSundays

Terror Tuesday: Pumpkinhead

Jucifer

Harp and Lyre

Mathew Goode

La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th Dive Bar & Lounge, 1703 Guadalupe Alamo S Lamar, 1120 S Lamar

ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Mohawk, 912 Red River

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Mohawk, 912 Red River Stubb’s, 803 Red River 29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St Parish, 214 E 6th

►►Also Worthy

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th Antone’s, 213 W 5th

UWeeklyAustin.com | February 15, 2012

29

►►Tiniest Bar in Texas

►►The Library

817 W 5th

407 E 6th

$3 Jack, Jim, and Jager

$1 domestics/wells, $2 imported bottles

►►Chuggin’ Monkey

►►Cain and Abel’s

219 E 6th

2313 Rio Grande

$2 wells/domestics

$8 32 oz. Texas Teas from 7 PM-close

►►Blind Pig

►►Mooseknuckle Pub

317 E 6th

406 E 6th

$2.50 wells/domestics

$2 Anything

►►Trudy’s

►►Tiniest Bar in Texas

409 W 30th

214 E 6th

$4.95 Sangria ritas

$12 Beer Buckets

►►Cain and Abel’s

►►Friends

2313 Rio Grande

208 E 6th

$3.50 bombs

$2 Vodka bombs

►►Darwin’s Pub

►►Dizzy Rooster

223 E 6th

306 E 6th

$2 Wells/Domestics 12-9 PM

$2 domestics/wells/jello shots

►►The Ginger Man

►►Maggie Mae’s

Trudy’s

409 West 30th Street Looking to get wasted away again in Margaritaville? Well you’re in luck, cause there’s honestly not a single bar I would recommend for such an occasion above Trudy’s. With three locations in Austin, Trudy’s boasts a list of daily specials that range from $4.50 strawberry margaritas to $6 Mexican Martinis on any given night.

The real danger, however, comes from the potency of Trudy’s drinks. It’s probably (nay, exactly) why Trudy’s only limits two of their top shelf margaritas or Mexican Martinis per customer, but that’s only at each location. If you show up at either of Trudy’s other two locations two or four margaritas in, no one will be the wiser (besides your designated driver, of course), and if you do manage to pull off the feat of consuming two top-shelf margaritas at each Trudy’s location in the Austin area then you will be designated an honorary “Trudy’s Trifecta Titan.” And if you can manage to say “Trudy’s Trifecta Titan” five times fast while you’re totally sloshed then you’ll be designated “honorary badass” from me, which is way better.

Brian Bogart

►►Cuatros

301 Lavaca

323 E 6th

1004 W 24th

Service Industry Night

$2 wells

$2 Tecates and Modelo Esp. $5 Deer and Beer

►►Treasure Island

►►Sapphire

►►Friends

413 E 6th

411 E 6th

208 E 6th

.25¢ wells, $1 triples & kamikaze shots, $4 bombs

$5 ptc/$2 wells/$2 Jager bombs

$2 Vodka Bombs

►►Kiss and Fly

►►Touche

►►Maggie Mae’s

404 Colorado

417 E 6th

323 E 6th

$3 wells, $3 any beer

$1 Schnapps

$2 Wells

COMING SOON THURSDAYS

for more details visit: UWEEKLYAUSTIN.com