February 22, 2012 by Jess Pendleton

the Independent VOIce Of ut austIn

feb 22, 2012

www.uweekLYatX.cOm

VOL 4 Issue 06

February 22, 2012

your unofficial Guide

austin City running Tours

Formula one racing

uweekly sits down

to the sherwood Forest Faire

is open for business

for dummies

with the band driver Friendly

geT yoUr TUrkey leg on aT The ren faire

p5 Photo: Celine suarez

inTerneT killed The reCord sTore YOu prObabLY dOn’t need uweekLY to tell you that independent record stores are drying up at an alarming rate. With piracy, iTunes, Spotify, and the dozens of other 21st century music services available, buying physical things seems weirdly archaic. Sure there’s a certain retro fashion to it, but that’s hardly a long-term, sustainable market. All of that makes the death of Encore Records that much more sad. Always a boutique record shop with an emphasis on extreme metal and all its children, the store is currently in the process of selling off the rest of its capital and shutting its doors for good. These are the disheartening moments where not even a city like Austin can maintain its grassroots initiatives. “It’s a real shame what happened with Encore,” said Waterloo Records owner John Kunz. “Unfortunately they just couldn’t get the customers.” Austin’s notoriously active music scene obviously spills over into the record-selling industry. We’ve got a number of great stores like Waterloo, End of an Ear and Encore, all of

which are facing their own issues in a changing landscape. Record stores are closing, and record stores are opening. Most cities can easily maintain two or three stores, but Austin boasts a much higher concentration, and the numbers don’t always add up. “There’s always going to be rivalry and competition,” said Kunz. “But there’s also camaraderie and friendship. We have good relationships with each other. In this day and age, every store is an indie. Our biggest competition

in This day and age, every sTore is an indie. oUr biggesT CompeTiTion Comes from plaCes like barnes & noble. comes from places like Barnes & Noble.” Kunz goes on to explain that during Record Store Day, Waterloo actually offers a discount if you bring a receipt from another participating store. They’re all in it together, even with the opposition. The closing of places like Encore Records only

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February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

makes the legacy of Record Store Day feel that much more poignant. Originally envisioned as a sort of celebratory fundraiser for the world’s last standing indie record stores, Record Store Day has grown to a massive international size. Every year some of the world’s most influential artists put out limited-edition pressings that can only be purchased, you guessed it, in independent record stores. “It was an excuse to throw a party,” said Michael Kurtz, one of the founders of Record Store Day. “The artists who got involved made it meaningful.”

Kurtz and his organization are essentially the first line of defense for the traditional record store and the traditional physical format. He is stoutly anti-piracy, and he comes off as a genuine audiophile. His adherence to oldworld statutes is resonating. In a changing world, one where a free service

like Spotify has elementally redesigned the way we think about our investment into music, he may be a member of a dying breed. Kurtz, of course, disagrees with that statement. “It’s important to remember that according to research the majority of record store shoppers are under the age of 36,” said Kurtz. “It’s not something restricted to an older generation. Parents are taking their kids to these stores. It’s like a tradition.” The most important statistic he mentions? The reality that even in the golden age of music buying, 80 percent of all records were only bought by 20 percent of the population. It has always been a niche thing. As the record-selling industry continues to be redefined, with an uncertain future in the horizon, it’s a comforting fact. Some people will still buy albums because some people still care very much about music. It’s hard to think of music ever returning to the cash crop it once was, but if the establishment can get by on the people who always cared the most it’ll be a cleaner industry all around. Luke winkie

ome for The TUrkey leg,

sTay for The mead

an UnoffiCial gUide To The sherWood foresT faire hear Ye, hear ye, lords and ladies, the Sherwood Forest Faire is upon us! Prepare yourselves for a feast fit for kings and engage in the merriment of axe throwing, ladder climbing, and archery. To make sure you get the most out of your experience, have your wallet full and your stomach empty. First, you need to grab yourself a turkey leg. These are often a staple of Renaissance Faires, and if you don’t grab one sometime during your stay, you’ll be missing out on a piece of heaven. This piece of heaven may cost $7, but you’ll find that it’ll slay the hunger dragon easily. If a giant turkey leg doesn’t tempt you, then perhaps a bread bowl full of hot broccoli and cheese soup might suit you. If that doesn’t work out, then there’s a stand where pretty much everything is fried and every food stand has a variety of options for your fill. Even if you’re not hungry, you need to grab some mead. This delectable home-brewed alcohol tastes like an orgy of fairies dancing on your tongue. Actually it tastes more like a

sweet white wine with a much stronger kick and no bitter aftertaste, but you get the idea. A bottle will cost you $19 but a simple cup only costs $3. I’d suggest taking a bottle for the road, unless you’d like to get crunk at 9 AM for some jousting. The shows are wide in variety and repeated often throughout the day, but you should probably plan ahead and choose which shows interest you the most. The first show is at 10 AM, which isn’t horribly early, but if you

he knighTs Will inTeraCT WiTh yoU if yoU Tease Them, mainly by leTTing Their horses Take a Crap righT in fronT of yoU.

Photo: Celine suarez

still look like an ogre by then, the mead can help you look (and feel) much better. I myself enjoyed a falconry spectacle, which was offset by a musician playing Star Wars on bagpipes on the stage to my right. Make sure to catch the sword fighting and jousting tournaments. The knights will interact with you if you tease them, mainly by letting their horses take a crap right in front of you. But there’s always a good

Photo: Celine suarez

chance for one of the knights to get hurt. Merchants are all about luring you in with their ancient artistry, but beware of their high prices. Getting a custommade necklace with a metal pendant may look pretty cool, but it’s also pretty costly. If you’re on a budget, shop around a bit and see if there is one thing that stands out to you the most. Everything is either handcrafted or authentic, which explains the high prices, but it may not be suitable for those of us who are still paying off their books. Tea enthusiasts will love the selection of herbs, but will inevitably scoff at the prices. Dear peasants, you must not leave this magical place without engaging in some knife throwing. You can also feel like an inadequate ninja or like a failed serial killer with your axe throwing skills. These activities are decently priced, and gives you a chance to legally throw some axes. There are also train rides and kiddie rides like the tea cups at Disneyland.

Photo: Celine suarez

These may be for little kids, but if you’ve got no shame, then enjoy the spinning tea cups with that two-year-old kid next to you. If it pleases the lords and ladies of Sherwood (mainly the camping coordinators), then you may also camp for the night. Camping fees are determined upon your entry. No other shows go on past closing time, but you can drink all the mead that you’ve bought (or brought). Is it filled with debauchery, music, booze, and endless partying? Depends on how cold it is. Admission to the faire is $18 for adults, and on Sunday you can catch a buy-oneget-one special from 10 AM to 12 PM. They are open from 10 AM to 7 PM on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. The faire is going on every weekend until March 16th, so be sure to catch it before then. CeLine suareZ UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

Top 10 UT memes

Take a Wendy’s order, like a boss!

Any Longhorn who’s eaten at the Wendy’s in the Texas Union knows that Junior is a major Hoss. Perhaps this meme is not entirely timely, since Junior moved away earlier this year, but UT students appreciate the humor behind this meme nevertheless.

Sixth St: What starts here is forgotten tomorrow

If you’re a UT student who hasn’t hit up Dirty Sixth, there’s a first time for everything. The time for debauchery is upon you and the day will come with either your birthday that’s around the corner or that sweet fake ID you snagged from an older friend. For those who have had the opportunity to party on Sixth and revel in the weekend blur of intoxication, you know this meme is funny and it’s catered toward you.

The Lion King: College Station is the shadowy place

Ew, College Station hardly deserves to be mentioned on our memes page, right? While Simba and Mufasa stand tall vouching for Texas, 40 Acres frequenters can’t help but crack up at the shadowy place inhabited by Aggies. You know you were thinking it hiding behind your giggles, you UT snob.

OU has nothing in common with weed? While Simba and Mufasa False, they both get stand tall vouching smoked in bowls. for Texas, 40 Acres

frequenters can’t help but crack up at the shadowy place inhabited by Aggies.

You think UGGS and Nike shorts look good together? Look at your life, look at your choices It’s Sassy Gay Friend! Yay! This capricious man knows what’s up and tells it like it is. How is it not hysterical when he’s poking fun at the sorority girl fashion we all love to hate? Oops, half of the UT female student population dresses this way. Well, we needed a meme to humor the minority of fashionistas on campus.

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

There’s nothing like that competitive-natured paraphernalia-related humor. Oh, and Dwight from “The Office,” yeah, he’s the icing on the cake to rub in burnt orange pride in a sad Sooner’s face. This meme is delightfully punny!

Not sure if sorority girl, or hiding belly fat with XXL shirt

It’s hard not to detect Fry’s dry banter when you read this one. The “Futurama” character targets overprivileged sorority girls and strikes with a low blow at their over-sized shirts (and perhaps over-sized body frame). Sorry pledges, you know what you’re getting yourself into. February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

I don’t always urinate in public, but when I do, I’m in West Campus OK drunkies of the big WC, you know you’ve been there: stumbling, incoherent and in great need of a spot to relieve that tension in your bladder. When you’re kicked out of the party because it’s over capacity and you didn’t get to use the bathroom because either some d-bag is throwing up his dinner or some couple is getting it on, you’re left toilet-less. So it’s all right to laugh along with this meme because you got a ticket for peeing in public!

Lives in West Campus, goes to ACC

I really don’t know who allows themselves to live in a costly shadow. Hilarious, but look at this guy. Enough said.

I go to UT, sorta almost

Yes, you’re the shit because you go to UT and it’s funny to you when people can’t get accepted, having to then settle for a university that is “sub-par” in your eyes. This meme keeps with the pompous motif: Everyone wants to be a longhorn.

Schedule? LOL we just drive around

It’s funny because it’s true! Countless times, you’ve sat, waited, and arrived to class late because of the shuttles that stop at no particular time. Forget the seven-minute intervals they claim to follow. Tweety Frankfurt

rUnnin’ This CiTy aUsTin Welcomes ciTy rUnninG ToUrs austIn has aLL kInds Of tOurs that you probably know about. We have duck tours, bike tours, carriage tours, even Segway tours. But now we have something else to add to our list of ways to get to know our fair city: running tours. That’s right, it’s a tour of the city while you’re running. City Running Tours, a company that has running tour installments in different cities all around the country, has teamed up with Texas Running Company in Austin to bring you a new way to get to know your city while getting your heart pumping. “There are a million other types of tours but nothing like a running tour. It combines the passion for running with the will to explore the city you’re living in,” said running tour guide Lee Ackerley. The Austin City Running Tour had its grand opening this past weekend in tandem with the Livestrong marathon as a way to capitalize on the running energy that was running through the veins of Austinites. The current tour option is a historical tour of downtown Austin. You will start from Texas Running Company on 5th St and run through the maze of downtown landmarks and historical stops before eventually finding your way back to Texas Running Company. As of now, you can choose from a 5K or a 10K run. But don’t let those figures scare you, as there are plenty of opportunities to take short stops and learn more about

tours everyday as well as offer a wide variety of tour options. Everything from music tours, pub tours, scenic tours, bat tours and social runs are on the agenda for Ackerley. “It’s a really fun thing to get out and do. You get to know the city and keep it local,” said Ackerley. Each tour costs about $25. But if being social, getting your cardiovascular rate up

“approximaTely one dollar of every ToUr fee Will go ToWards helping Children Who have devasTaTing illnesses sUCh as CanCer and leUkemia.” Austin’s most historical landmarks. You’ll also have to stop from time to time to let traffic whiz by you. While this isn’t a tour for those who want to stop and smell the roses, it is a fun and enjoyable way to get social and get some exercise. Presently, tours are only available on the weekend, but Ackerley hopes to soon offer

and getting your vitamin D for the day isn’t enough for you, you will also run assured knowing that a portion of your money will go towards a worthy cause. Since its founding, City Running Tours has donated a notable portion of the company’s revenue to St. Jude Children’s Hospital. Approximately one dollar of every tour fee

Good deeds

will go towards helping children who have devastating illnesses such as cancer and leukemia. Perhaps it’s a way of paying homage to those who are battling health issues while creating and maintaining a healthy body. There’s also one other little talked about side effect of participating in things like the Austin City Running Tour and that’s the “runner’s glow.” It’s the euphoric cloud of energy that surrounds you after a run. It’s produced by endorphins and is sustained by the fact that you’re probably smiling and don’t even know it. “You’re attractive in some regard. It looks like you’re vibrant, living,” said Ackerley. The effect of the runner’s glow on people is strange and mysterious but always positive. People who have the runner’s glow experience everything from discounts on meals to spontaneous kindness from strangers. If you ask me, I’d stay that’s a pretty good trade-off for sweating it out on the mean streets of Austin. aManda ChaPPeL UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

Meet us Patio Meet us at at The The Local Local Pub Pub & & Patio every Friday Friday at at 5:00pm 4:00pm (2610 Guadalupe) Every (2610 Guadalupe) and yourself! and introduce introduce yourself!

dayplanner

aManda ChaPPeL

eVenTs on or around CaMPus

Publisher Michael Huereque

NATIONAL RECREATIONAL SPORTS & FITNESS DAY February 22 In honor of National Recreational Sports & Fitness Day, UT’s RecSports facilities will be offering a day free of fees and pass cards. Bust out those dusty running shoes and ratty sweat pants, it’s time to break a sweat. Valid UT ID required. Gregory Gym, All Day POEMS FOR A POET February 22 The Harry Ransom Center will be joining forces with the Texas Institute for Literary and Textual Studies to bring you Poetry on the Plaza with the event “Translation.” Visiting poets and poet lovers alike will be reading from their favorite works. Harry Ransom Center Plaza, 12-1 PM

February 23 The Diavolo Dance Theatre presents a riveting performance of “Fearful Symmetries” and “Trajectories.” Be prepared to be dazzled and thrilled. Tickets can be purchased online at texasperformingarts.org. Bass Concert Hall, 8-10 PM, $10/28/38

SMILE, YOU’RE ON CAMERA!

D-D-D-DRAKE

February 23 Operation Smile: Longhorn Student Chapter will be holding an information session to let you know how to get involved in the process of changing the lives of people born with either cleft lips or palates across the globe. This usually involves donating time, money or both. Mezes Hall (MEZ) 1.122, 7:30-8:30 PM

The sChedUle WeDNesDay, feb 22

yoUr gUide To all Things bUrnT orange.

frIDay, feb 24 Baseball

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, All Day

Stanford, Palo Alto, CA, 7:30 PM

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, TBA

Florida, Cathedral City, CA, 2:30 PM

thursDay, feb 23

Big 12 Indoor Championships, College Station, TBA

Softball Cal State Northridge, Cathedral City, CA, 7:30 PM

Softball

San Diego State, Cathedral City, CA, 10:30 PM

Women’s Rowing

Bates College (Varsity Scrimmage), Austin, Texas (Lady Bird Lake), 6 AM

Women’s Rowing

account executives Nick Lorges art Director Jessica Caraway ad Designer Terry Kennedy editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy editor Daniel J. Frimpter

February 27 For the many fans and followers of the Grammy-nominated rapper Drake, today’s your day because he’ll be at the Frank Erwin Center. The only catch is you have to pay to see him. Frank Erwin Center, 8 PM

Men’s Swim & Dive Women’s Swim & Dive

Softball

Women’s Track

Men’s Swim & Dive

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, All Day

brian boGarT

Men’s Tennis UT Arlington, Austin, Texas, 11 AM

Men & Women’s Track

Big 12 Indoor Championships, College Station, Texas, TBA

Men & Women’s Swim & Dive

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, All Day

suNDay, feb 26

Men’s Track

Baseball

Big 12 Indoor Championships, College Station, TBA

Stanford, Palo Alto, CA, 3 PM

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, TBA

Nebraska, Cathedral City, CA, 11 AM

saturDay, feb 25

Big 12 Invitational, Columbia, MO, TBA

Women’s Swim & Dive

Softball

Women’s Swim & Dive

tuesDay, feb 28

Bates College (Novice Scrimmage), Austin, Texas (Lady Bird Lake), 4 PM

Men’s Basketball Women’s Basketball

Women’s Basketball

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, TBA

Oklahoma, Austin, Texas 5 PM

Missouri, Columbia, MO, 7 PM

Big 12 Championships, Columbia, MO, All Day

Stanford, Palo Alto, CA, 3 PM

Houston Baptist, Austin, Texas, 6 PM

Women’s Swim & Dive Men’s Swim & Dive 8

“FEARFUL SYMMETRIES”

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Texas Tech, Lubbock, Texas, 3 PM

Baseball

Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie sports Writers Brian Bogart entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech Circulation Jeremy Tooker CoNtaCt uweeklyaustin.com editor@uweeklyaustin.com facebook.com/uweeklyaustin PublIsher Highbrow LLC about UWeekly Austin UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

air iT oUT

dear hipsTer on a bike, we get It; you’re doing it for the environment. Down with coal plants, cars are destroying the ozone layer and thumbs up for all things green. But you know what? You are actually creating an even more dangerous world for us all to live in. How? By taking up an entire lane of traffic on your five-speed. Do you realize that I have to suddenly and sharply decline my speed, swerve into the next lane (hopefully no one is there, as I didn’t have a chance to check), swerve back into my lane and then floor it to regain my original travelling speed? It’s not just me, either. Every single car

subMIt to aIr It out! 1. everything anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. be brief – Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. stay specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

that passes you on your way to Whole Foods has to do this. I know you’ve learned to block it out, as I’ve noticed that the majority of you don’t look over your shoulder, check blind spots, look both ways before you cross an intersection or even bat an eye when being honked at. But never mind us, you just go on slowly and casually peddling through high traffic areas while staying oblivious to the cars and drivers around you.

opinion Photos and interviews by brian bogart

ThaT’s WhaT SHE said.

What would you do if you were given a million dollars?

“I’d definitely save half, considering the economy sucks...then I would probably pay off all bills my family has and then use the rest for a nice vacation and just spending money. Cliche I guess..but there are more important things in life now than fancy shit”

Chelsea Bucklew

“I mean, I want to sound like a good person and say I’d give it to charity, but honestly I’d probably take my mom and my best friends to a super nice resort on the beach somewhere, drink margaritas, and go to the spa everyday...I would probably donate some to UNICEF or something too...it doesnt cost a million dollars to go to the beach.”

Grace Sarosdy

Signed, Get the fuck out of my way 4. Powerful language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. to Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

airitout@uweeklyatx.com

“I would pay off my college debts, invest into a house, and use the left-overs to shop”

Garima Narang

“I would use the money to finish school, travel through europe, and pay for an apartment in new york so I can audition and go see a ton of shows. And I would give 10% to charity.”

Callie Raynor

“Buy my career”

Nikki Werner

“Save it for when I graduate so I can move to New York or LA”

Kara Konop

UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

Photo: slitzf1

formUla one for dUmmies

yoUr gUide To UndersTanding The ins and oUTs of The fia formUla one World Championship the dIstInct hIgh-pItched roar of Formula One (F1) engines will be heard in just a few short months on Nov. 18 in Austin when the city will be host to the United States Grand Prix (USGP). For rabid F1 fans, this year’s USGP will be one for the books. Not only is it the first USGP since 2007 where it was hosted at the historic Indianapolis Motor Speedway, but it is also the penultimate race of the year before F1 heads to Brazil for the final grand prix of the season. Despite F1’s wild popularity around the globe, the racing series has yet to capture the attention of most mainstream sports fans in the United States, making it one of the least

understood motorsports in the country. The first race of the 2012 season takes place on March 18, and for those unfamiliar or new to the sport, the following is a brief FAQ to help you understand what F1 is and

WhaT, exaCTly, is f1? F1, formally known as the FIA Formula One World Championship, is the highest class of single-seater auto racing sanctioned by the Fédération Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA).

despiTe f1’s Wild popUlariTy aroUnd The globe, The raCing series has yeT To CapTUre The aTTenTion of mosT mainsTream sporTs fans in The UniTed sTaTes, making iT one of The leasT UndersTood moTorsporTs in The CoUnTry. why it has a total global television audience of more than 500 million people.

The “formula” in Formula One represents a set of rules which all participants’ cars must meet.

WhaT kind of Cars are raCed? Somewhat similar in appearance to IndyCars, the modern F1 cars are single-seat, opencockpit, open-wheel racing cars which are very dependent on electronics and on aerodynamics, suspension and tires. The regulations governing the cars are unique to the championship and Formula One regulations specify that cars must be constructed by the racing teams themselves, though the design and manufacture can be outsourced. For example, racing team Lotus F1 Team’s cars are built by Lotus but uses Renault’s engine.

Learn about Austin's rich histor

y on our Downtown Historic 5k

We'll visit Austin's Capitol Building, the Driskill Hotel, and various other historic sites, while investigating Austin's new tech industry, green initiatives, and cutting edge architecture. Saturday 2.25 @ 10 a.m. - Downtown Historic 5k Sunday 2.26 @ 11 a.m. - Downtown Historic 5k

CityRunningTours.com/Austin February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Check out www.cityrunningtours

.com/austin for more info.

run!

The

highlighT

reel

mere weeks into the 2013 recruiting season and Texas is already off to a blistering start, securing commitments from five of the state’s top prospects including Kyle Hicks, Jake Oliver, Jake Raulerson, and A’shawn Robinson. Perhaps the biggest splash commit, however, came in the form of five-star QB and certified Vince Young impersonator Tyrone Swoopes, who is one of the most physically gifted signal callers to come out of Texas since, well, Vince Young. Four out of five of the commitments rank among the top 100 prospects and the recruiting doesn’t look to be letting up any time soon with several more top prospects expecting to announce their commitments soon. Damn it feels good to be a Longhorn right about now.

speakIng Of JeremY LIn (whom I haven’t even mentioned yet but just kind of assumed you were having a conversation about recently), how much of a nightmare was it for the Knicks to see such a lack of chemistry between Lin and Carmelo Anthony upon Melo’s return? Granted, it was Melo’s first game back from a seven-game hiatus, but with two guys who like to dominate the ball the way Linvictus and Melo do, there definitely needs to be some adjustments to the team before the Knicks can become the team that their level of talent indicates. speakIng Of JeremY LIn (this time it actually applies), ESPN has been really dropping the ball with their political correctness, especially when they published the headline “Chink in the armor” on their mobile site after Lin’s first loss as a starter. Needless to say, the publisher of that headline was promptly fired, but it wasn’t the only incident that plagued the suits at ESPN. Another gaffe came when MMA Live host

Max Bretos asked Walt Frazier if there was a “chink in the armor” to Lin’s game, which got him slapped with a 30 day suspension. While I’m not big on the whole “PC Police” thing, these are the kind of incidents where ESPN employees need to be more conscious of what they put out to the public, because chances are there’s going to be someone somewhere who will be offended. the ncaa basebaLL seasOn has officially begun and Texas is heading into the season ranked 13th in the nation, even with the roster being full of freshmen. No one seems to be panicking, though, as Augie has been crowing that this group of talented “froshes” are eager for the opportunity to prove themselves and are already off to a decent start, winning their opening three-game series 2-1 against the Duke Blue Devils. Another bonus to the college baseball season: spring football is just around the corner. Boom. brian boGarT Photo: Jeremy Lin

hoW do The Cars impaCT The environmenT? Contrary to popular belief that F1 cars are gas-guzzling and bad for the environment, F1 cars have actually been at the forefront of major technological advance in the development of hybrid car technology. On-and-off since 2009, F1 cars have been equipped with a kinetic energy recovery system (KERS), which is an automotive system for recovering a moving vehicle’s kinetic energy under braking. The recovered energy is stored in a reservoir for later use under acceleration. This type of technology is under development for road vehicles. However, not all teams choose to equip cars with KERS because it adds an extra 25 kilograms of weight.

hoW are Championships deTermined? There are two types of championships in F1: drivers and constructors championships. Both championships rely on earning points during races that are determined by the place a driver finishes. Each team consists of two drivers and cars. As of 2010, the top ten cars are awarded points, the winner receiving 25 points. The total number of points won at each race are added up, and the driver and constructor with the most points at the end of the season are World Champions. If both a team’s cars finish in the points, they both receive

Constructors Championship points. For the 2012 season there are 12 teams consisting of 24 drivers, including six drivers who have already won World Championships.

CaTCh me Up, WhaT’s happening righT noW? Currently F1 teams are conducting pre-season testing of cars and manufacturers recently unveiled updated cars for the 2012 season. The most notable change to cars is a new stepped nose design which has been introduced to increase driver safety in case of a T-bone collision between cars.

WhaT does The 2012 season look like and hoW Can i WaTCh iT? During the 2012 season there are 20 grand prixs taking place around the globe on purpose-built racing or street circuits. The first race of the season takes place on March 18 in Melbourne, Australia. Since each race takes place in a different country viewing times can vary. Most races occur in the early morning hours in United States timezones. Generally races can be seen on SpeedTV, but a handful of races are aired on Fox during the year. Alternatively, there are several F1 watch parties that are held each race weekend in Austin. karissa rodriGueZ

Photo: Chamber of Fear

The rookie recap UWeekly’s take on the NBA’s newest additions We’re just about halfway through the lockout-abridged NBA season, which means the world’s collective sports banter has started making noise about all-star lineups and MVP candidates. It’s been especially fun analyzing this year’s rookie generation, partly because they’re coming into the league more or less unrefined due to the lockout restrictions, but also because there have been some great stories developing with the players. So here’s a quick look at some of the rookies that we’ve found exciting so far in 2012.

Kyrie Irving

Ricky Rubio

It’s almost depressing writing about Kyrie Irving’s excellent rookie campaign, simply because the city of Cleveland has gone through so many #1 prospects at this point through the profoundly, consistently bad play of their sports teams that it’s hard to stay optimistic. Regardless, Irving has been the first thing the Cavaliers have had to smile about since Lebron left. That’s gotta count for something. Averaging 18 points in 30 minutes,

The latest member of the National Spanish Basketball Team to make it across the Atlantic into the NBA was actually drafted two years ago. Rubio did the safe thing and stayed in Europe for those seasons to dedicate more time to his game, much to the chagrin of the Minnesota Timberwolves. But now, after all that has blown over, Rubio is in the starting rotation and the Wolves, once considered one of the great lost causes in the NBA, are arguably

The Golden State Warriors have been bad for a long time. This year, with a new coach and a new front office, they’re more mediocre than terrible. he’s been a legitimate offensive spark for a team that just finished one of the worst seasons in NBA history. Sure he’s only dealing 5 assists per game, but that will change as he matures, and the Cavs build back their franchise in a leaner, healthier way. Right now he’s probably the rookie of the year, and there’s something kinda nice about saying that.

the most exciting young team in terms of pure potential. Unlike Irving, the diminutive Rubio runs a pass-first backcourt, and in fact he’s nearly averaging a double-double with ten points and eight assists. It’s a good role to have when you have a forward like Kevin Love who works well around the rim and beyond the arc. If the Timberwolves manage to keep this duo

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

together through free-agency, they’ll have a rock-solid foundation.

Klay Thompson The Golden State Warriors have been bad for a long time. This year, with a new coach and a new front office, they’re more mediocre than terrible, which might be enough for good vibes. But even at their embarrassing lows, the Warriors were always responsible for some exciting basketball, and in that sense Thompson fits right in. He’s a solid face-up scorer with a knack for coming off of picks, great on the perimeter, and a decent ability to drive when he needs to. On a team that already features such upper-tier perimeter guards like Stephen Curry and Monte Ellis, it’s probably not what the Warriors really need, but reliable spot-up shooters are always valuable. He won’t enlighten the franchise, but he fits their ethos well.

Kemba Walker If we’re being honest, the former National Champion has struggled in his first pro season. The turnovers mount, his shot selection is suspect, he’s only averaging 37 percent from the field, and he often looks (justifiably) frustrated on the court. He is the one bright spot on the league’s worst basketball team. The Charlotte Bobcats are a tired, slack group of bored past-prime vets and failed prospects. Walker looks like the only person on the court invested in the sport. He earns recognition simply because of the stoop he had to make. After coming off the incredible high of being the prime factor in UConn’s title run, he’s been relegated to the most overlooked, underattended team in the Association. That he’s kept a competitive face through it all is a heartening thing. It might not be the key for lasting success, but it’s a great barometer of character. Luke Winkie

The return of the Aztex empire

Photo: Austin Aztex

How Austin’s soccer team reemerged barely a year after it moved away In October of 2010, despite success on the field and the notoriety on a grassroots level, the Austin Aztex relocated to Orlando, Fla., shedding their name and becoming Orlando City Soccer Club. Cynics saw it as further proof that any non-collegiate team was doomed to be choked out by UT’s indomitable presence. With rising costs, a limited fanbase, and significant travel costs (Texas is a big state), Austin is not necessarily the ideal place for a low-stakes soccer club. Consider, however, the new Aztex survivors. Barely a year after the first club moved, Chairman David Markley has completely

quality, something the club plans on repeating. But he also noted some significant oversights. For one, he thinks the first team never managed a distinctly Austin personality, its logo and deco all reflecting the essence of a chilly Premiership squad. The new emblem reflects a dusty, Southwestern vibe, complete with a lone star. “We also didn’t do a good job of representing the Latino community here,” said Markley.

For Markley, it’s a question of time. “People tend to expect a giant shift in passion when it comes to things like soccer,” said Markley. “David Beckham was billed as the guy who was going to make it popular, and it helped, but it

“People tend to expect a giant shift in passion when it comes to things like soccer. David Beckham was billed as the guy who was going to make it popular, and it helped, but it happens over a long time. With the Aztex we want to nurture that passion over a long time.” reinvented the franchise. There’s a new logo, a new coach, a new philosophy, and plenty of new excitement. “Obviously when the team folded we were all very disappointed,” said Markley. “But a lot of us stayed in Austin. We needed a place for our local players, we needed a team.” For the new-look Aztex, everything came together pretty quickly. A few months of swirling rumors turned into a confirmation turned into surprising news that the team would start playing in the USL Development League this year, something that seemed almost impossible a few short months ago. This year’s schedule starts May 5. Markley believes that the original incarnation got a lot of things right. The partnership with Stoke City worked and the play was high-

“We’re trying to reflect that demographic better. We’ve got a Spanish-speaking coach and our website is in both languages, but it also needs to be off the field.” Markley is very keen on making sure the Aztex belong to Austin, not a soccer team that just happens to play in Austin. With America’s current soccer renaissance— European games being played on network television, ESPN covering the Men’s and Women’s World Cup, the MLS surging in popularity—it’s a better time than ever to oversee a start-up team. For someone like Markley, who’s been a soccer fan for many years, this is the first time the sport has been widely available in an American market. But it also raises the question: Are Americans really interested in soccer on a semi-pro level?

happens over a long time. With the Aztex we want to nurture that passion over a long time.” Logically you eventually start wondering if Austin could be home to an MLS team someday. Considering that two of the most recent success stories, Seattle and Portland, are cities with a similar ethos to Austin, it doesn’t feel like a pipe dream. Markley considers such a franchise to be a distant, distant possibility, and right now he’s preoccupied with the new Aztex’s inaugural season. “We do intend to have a professional team here,” said Markley, referring to the United Soccer League, “but first we need to drum up support for the development team, and then someday invest in a soccer-specific stadium. It’s a process. We’ll never have it if we don’t invest ourselves.” Luke Winkie UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

Meet us Patio Meet us at at The The Local Local Pub Pub & & Patio every Friday Friday at at 5:00pm 4:00pm (2610 Guadalupe) Every (2610 Guadalupe) and yourself! and introduce introduce yourself!

Trading places

Photo: Gabriel Cervantes

that guy, but the Raiders will probably do their best to keep him in Oakland, simply because McFadden has had a disappointing history of being injured. He’s a safety valve for them, and a potential starter for Green Bay, Buffalo, Seattle, or even New England. The Raiders will need to take good care of him if they want to keep him around.

A look at some of the free agents in the NFL

Wide receiver: Reggie Wayne Reggie Wayne missed out on his first 1000 yard season since 2003 last year, and it wasn’t really his fault. The man could still play, but when the person throwing the ball was the revolving-door wreck of Colts quarterbacks and not Peyton Manning, Wayne could not thrive. Wayne was not comfortable in his first year out of Indy’s Manning era, and the team he made his name with is, for the first time since the late ’90s, far away from any title contention. With Manning looking more and more like he’ll be moving on to another team, it’s not hard to wonder if Wayne might be doing the same. Maybe to the same city his longtime quarterback is moving to.

The end of the NFL season is a time of relaxed acceptance and looming uncertainty. Yes, you finally know the fate of your team’s once-hopeful season, but there’s also the immediate dispersion of dozens of commoditized free agents. Fans around the country wait with bated breath to see if theirs will be the team with Peyton Manning under center, or Vincent Jackson lined up outside the numbers. It is an anxious time, an exciting time, and a speculative time. Here are a few choice free agents that ought to get people talking

Quarterback: Matt Flynn In any other year, Aaron Rodgers would’ve suited up for a week 17 match-up with the Lions, put up his usual stats, and Matt Flynn would’ve been content with a ball cap and headset. But the 2011 Packers had home field advantage wrapped up with literally no reason to potentially endanger their starters. So Flynn, the backup QB got the call, and he promptly torched the Lions’ D for six touchdown passes and an absurd 480 yards. In four hours, Matt Flynn’s entire fate as a player was completely reversed. In case you’re not keeping track, that breaks Green Bay single-game franchise records, and Green Bay, well, they’ve had some pretty good quarterbacks over the years. Flynn is simultaneously the most intriguing and riskiest quarterback on the market. He has a very limited body of work, but that kind of a performance is rarely just a fluke. He’ll probably end up with a few starts on some quarterback-starved team, like the Redskins, who are willing to give him a shot. He’s not a household name yet, but he may be soon.

Running back: Michael Bush Michael Bush is in kind of a Mike Turner situation from a couple years ago. Completely capable and totally proven, but relegated to

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Defensive back: Carlos Rogers

a back-up role due to the greatness in front of him. In Turner’s case it was LaDanian

himself a free agent, he promptly signed as a starter role with the Atlanta Falcons and

When the person throwing the ball was the revolving-door wreck of Colts quarterbacks and not Peyton Manning, Wayne could not thrive. Tomlinson; in Bush’s case it’s Darren McFadden. Naturally, when Turner found

continues to be one of the most consistent runners in the league. Bush could easily be

Ah yes, the defensive back. So often underrated and unheralded, but so often able to hold their team hostage for a good deal. We saw it a few years ago when Darrelle Revis, unquestionably the best cornerback in the game, held the New York Jets hostage until he was the top-paid man at the position. We saw it last of f-season when the talent of Nnamdi Asomugha was courted by seemingly every team on the planet for a contract before settling with a top-dollar deal in Philadelphia. It ’s hard to think more everyday guys like Carlos Rogers aren’t going to be looking for the same thing. The San Francisco DB had a Pro Bowl-esque season a year ago, contributing to the historic stoutness of the 49ers’ defense. Chances are he’s going to be looking for a bigger deal. Sure he’s got a lot of things going for him—he lives in San Francisco, and he’s on a team that came inches away from a Super Bowl appearance—but if the 49ers can’t meet his expectations, don’t be surprised to see him elsewhere. Especially considering every team in the league could use players like him. Luke Winkie

WorsT TaTToo ConTesT baCk for anoTher year the phrase “wOrst tattOO” may bring up images of tramp stamps, barbwire wrapped around a bicep or even the face of that one ex you thought would last forever right next to your

“It’s about celebrating the other side of tattooing,” said Tincknell. “This is about the other end of the spectrum where you have your tattoos that you got when you were blacked out at a friend’s house

One example Tincknell mentioned was when he was flyering at Fast Folks Cyclery on East 6th Street. He was talking to one guy about the contest when the guy showed him his tattoo of South Dakota. Unimpressed, Tincknell asked the guy if he had another tattoo to show him. There on the back of his calves were Darth Vader on one leg and Chewbacca on the other leg wearing elaborate Indian headdresses. “I’m like, ‘Yeah, that’s what we’re looking for, man,’” said Tincknell. “That’s really weird. I get that it’s a great tattoo, but it’s also absurd. That’s what we’re looking for. It’s not that it’s the most poorly done, per se, but the ones where it’s like, OK, but really, what inspired you to get two characters from Star Wars with Indian headdresses? Let’s just

“iT’s noT ThaT iT’s The mosT poorly done per se, bUT The ones Where iT’s like, ok, bUT really, WhaT inspired yoU To geT TWo CharaCTers from sTar Wars WiTh indian headdresses? leT’s jUsT Talk aboUT ThaT for a minUTe.” heart, but for the Second Annual Worst Tattoo in Austin contest, that’s not exactly what event organizer Devon Tincknell has in mind.

February 15, 2012 | UWeeklyAustin.com

in their living room or your tattoos where you just purposely thought out, talked to an artist and had them draw up something really strange.”

talk about that for a minute.” Last year about 40 people showed off their tattoos and briefly shared the story behind them.

hoNorable MeNtIoN: JEW-NICORN/I’M TOO DRUN

There was the tramp stamp where a guy tattooed “always classy” after he made the comment at work that he would get it if he didn’t have to pay for it. His co-workers later put up a tip jar and raised the money. One guy had a “party leg” where he was drunk at a party and let people tattoo his leg like a cast. But it was Kathleen Boyle who was declared the winner with her tattoo that simply states “Chili Cook Off ’09.” “She won because I think she had a great story where it was just about getting wasted and being in that party mode,” said Tincknell. “Then you wake up and that thing you and your friend were drunk yelling is now on your body for the rest of your life.” This year’s Worst Tattoo in Austin contest, which will take place on Feb. 23 at the 29th Street Ballroom, $5 cover, will run slightly different. Instead of categories, people can NK TO WIN SWEET PRIZES register starting at 8 PM to add their name to the list. Before their name is added, though, they will need to make sure they fit the criteria of what Tincknell calls a worst tattoo. “The guy that has a poorly done tribal armband with a heart, yeah, welcome to 6th Street bro. You got a shitty tattoo. So does everybody. Move along,” said Tincknell. “But the really good ones, we’re gonna start filling up a list.” Judges Mike Wiebe (Riverboat Gamblers), Zack Carlson (host of the Alamo Drafthouse’s Terror Tuesday) and Michael Foulk (New Movement Theater) will choose who wins the over-$1000 in tattoo prizes from several Austin tattoo parlors: Bijou, Austin Tattoo Company, Atomic, Shaman Modification, and Sailor’s Grave. “We’re gonna trim the fat and remove the weak from the shaft and then let the audience pick the grand prize winner,” said Tincknell. Providing the entertainment, The Mole People will cover bands who have those iconic logos tattooed on people’s bodies such as Black Flag. Jules Jezebelle will provide a burlesque half-time show which Tincknell said will be fucking crazy. “I don’t even think the crowd’s gonna be ready for it,” said Tincknell. As for the winners from last year, Tincknell ran into the “always classy” guy and learned that he didn’t get it covered up with his prize. He got another tattoo instead. “He loves his tramp stamp. He didn’t get it covered up,” said Tincknell. “But he has a tattoo on his arm, I believe, that is his dog dressed up as Sherlock Holmes smoking a pipe. Is that the worst tattoo I’ve ever heard of? No, it’s actually pretty amazing. But I still think it’s a nice, weird, off-beat tattoo to spend your prize money on.” sarah VasQueZ

If YOu LOOk reaLLY cLOse, a lot of Austin’s musical landscape often resembles a fractal. From the largest view to the closest, the same pattern repeats itself. Different bands playing the same chords, same vibes, and same banality. In spite of this eternal recurrence, certain musical organizations are heroicly throwing their own wrenches into this musical machinery. Epistrophy Arts is one of those. The organization has been operating as a sort of adventurous jazz fight club for over a decade now. However, the first rule of Fight Club isn’t the first rule of Epistrophy. The music is ostensibly jazz, but its raucousness mingled with contemplative tendencies can get any music fan hooked on its insane and one-of-a-kind musical experiences. To put a cherry on top, Epistrophy is hosting their next show in the prickly yet cozy confines of the Cactus Cafe. There is no opportunity in Austin for this type of jazz in the south. While the Elephant Room might travel in a more breezy type of jazz than one might see on the porch of Central Market with a stroller in hand, the music at Epistrophy events is oriented more to an audience who enjoys the visceral engagement, or solar plexus punching, experience of rock shows. “The focus for Epistrophy arts has been modern, free, and other forms of improvised jazz,” said Epistrophy Arts director and UT librarian Pedro Moreno. “We host musicians that are really trying to extend the art form.” For many, being able to see these monoliths of the contemporary jazz scene in a very cozy environment, the artists pushing their craft into new waters right in front of the audience, is a treat that is rarely afforded to Austinites. “I think Epistrophy Arts shows are a much more intimate and engaging concert experience than most shows in Austin; you have the opportunity to commune with some of the greatest musicians in the world,” said Epistrophy Arts regular and owner of Ice Cream Social Lee Dockery. While Austin is no stranger to an infinite amount of variations

on the rock genre—jam, indie and boogaloo, for example— adventurous jazz shows are indeed a rare thing in these droughtstricken parts. “On top of the intimacy of the shows, getting the opportunity to witness some of the heaviest hitters in the contemporary jazz scene here in Austin, let alone America, is a rare opportunity that more music fans of any inclination should take advantage of,” said Dockery. For Dockery and many others seeing these world class musicians rip music apart, re-arrange it, and put it back together just a couple feet in front of them is where the real soul of the music lives. “Going to see this music live is what really clenched it for me,” said Dockery, who was initially a Doubting Thomas. Likewise, one doesn’t have to be familiar or have heard any recordings of this music to feel engaged with it. Diving in instead of wading is the best way to really taste what it’s all about. “People who have no reference points really have trouble initially embracing this music,” said Moreno, “but if you put them in front of it live, they will be able to see what it’s really all about.” Experiencing this adventurous jazz music in the flesh is quite contrary to the routine of standing around with one’s arm crossed and one’s attention slipping in and out of the music. While it does require attention, its bottom line is fun, and something else. “This music live is when the music really becomes something spiritual,” said Moreno. “It is a hard thing to describe: You are in that space with the artists feeding off of your energy and vice versa; a majority of it is improvised so the artists are reacting to the world around them, creating a much different musical experience than a group merely playing a set of scripted tunes.”

“i Think episTrophy arTs shoWs are a mUCh more inTimaTe and engaging ConCerT experienCe Than mosT shoWs in aUsTin; yoU have The opporTUniTy To CommUne WiTh some of The greaTesT mUsiCians in The World.”

Epistrophy Arts’ next show will feature iconic NYC composer and saxophonist Tim Berne. This show will take place at the Cactus Cafe. Tickets can be purchased at www.cactuscafe.org. wiLLiaM M. bass UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

bMUSEd INC presents UNSIGNED GIANTS Unsigned Giants is a showcase for bands on the verge of big things. They may not be discovered yet, but through exceptional sound and ability these bands stand above the rest. This is a place where the musical dream still lives. Let’s discover something.

Cool-fusion How The Warplanes do it right Fusion gets a bad rap. Though

potentially devastating in the wrong hands, if the power spurts from more forward-thinking minds we get little glimpses of genius, things like cran-apple, cookiedough ice cream and sporks! By combining two pretty good things into one awesome thing, mankind takes tiny metaphoric steps on the sun’s surface. Harnessing this energy recreates that I-found-a-$20-bill-in-mycoat-pocket feeling at your very whim. Musical portmanteaus The Warplanes exemplify this process both in their style and in the way they record music. Though most of the band hails from north-ish Houston, The Warplanes did not come together until making their way to our musically inclined mistress of a city. The band consists of vocalist and guitarist Isaac James Routh,

keyboardist/vocalist Luke Dalton, bassist Jesse J. Flores, drummer/ percussionist Aric Garcia, and lead guitarist Matt Germeyer. Their music has a large blues influence with touches of southern, psych, and indie rock. Throw in Isaac’s haunting voice and they have a sound that I’ve dubbed “phantom rock.” I make up genres, no big deal. They released their debut album to a packed house at Momo’s (RIP) in December, and have been building up steam ever since. A couple of the tracks that really stand out to me are “Debtman” and “Lost in a River.” Songs aside, the best thing about this album is the fact that they made a high quality album themselves without breaking the bank. I sat down with Jesse at his house to discuss his band and the album making process. Photo: The Warplanes

The Warplanes recently recorded and released a Do-It-Yourself (DIY) album. What is the importance of you guys combining efforts and making the album yourselves? Obviously saving cost. Spending the money can be good for quality, but there are perks to doing it yourself. Adding an engineer is almost like adding a band member and that can be difficult. They become a part of the sound, and we like to keep the creative control if we can. Having control helps with time management, too, because we are on our own schedule.

OK, that transitions into my next question. What goes into making a good DIY album?

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

If you did the album well, it will be your calling card. ...Getting the album out there is why you made it, right? Using every little bit of equipment and time available to make the best sound

you can. You know, doing the best you can with what you’ve got, even if it’s not the most expensive equipment. You can get a great sound by how you use stuff, not just what you use. It helps to get people to do as many possible parts for as low of a cost as possible. Good friends with some skills help. Knowing your way around a studio is valuable in the time department as well.

I could imagine thrifty spending is key to an up-and-coming band trying to make its mark. What other advice do you have for people just starting out with a record? Don’t live with your band! I’m kidding, but really don’t. There are a lot of distractions

in this house. It was great living together when we were forming, but our collective attention span definitely lengthened the recording process.

I feel you; my dog bugs me all the time. Roommates! So, what is the most important aspect to an album after it is recorded? Selling it! I joke. I’d say getting it out to as many people as possible. If you did the album well, it will be your calling card. Get it to radio, print, fans, internet vendors, store shelves and such. Getting the album out there is why you made it, right? So get it to the people who want it and establish a fanbase. I mean, you can’t be in a band without an album. At least that is what most bands push for.

Continued from unsigned giants Page 18

That makes sense. Now that you have this album out , what is nex t for you guys? We are working on new songs. No new album yet, but we’re writing. Let’s see, we will definitely be touring by this summer. It’ll just be a Texas regional thing with as many dates as possible.

In the meantime, where can somebody see you guys play? Do you have any upcoming shows? We play a free show in Houston Saturday, February 25th at Heights Vinyl, and our next Austin show is March 1st at ND 501 Studios on East 5th. We are real excited about that one.

Excellent. To wrap this up, where can the readers check you out online, or get one of these albums

that you guys worked so hard on? They can go to thewarplanes.com to check us out. If they click on the Band Camp icon on the home page it will send them to where they can get a digital copy of the album. We also sell the actual CDs at our shows if they would prefer a hard copy. Oh, and they can find us on Facebook and hear a few of the tracks there. The Warplanes are exemplifying the musical spirit of Austin in the fact that they are putting their music out there by any means necessary. They are solving the limitations of a small budget by being intuitive and resourceful. Each member fuses their individual talents to the others, creating something that they are all proud of and that can keep their engines full of fuel. Landon McCampbell

Lindsay Lohan to host SNL; couldn’t be worse than Daniel Radcliffe (or could it?)

Homosexual invisibility The unique set of problems faced by straight-looking queers

You may or may not have heard about it, but homosexuals easily and readily find support you’ve probably seen it happen or experienced among their own. So these people either have to it yourself. It’s when someone comes out as gay, turn their sexuality on full-blast or slink away and but isn’t believed because they look straight. hope it gets easier. Neither is a good option. Whether you’re gay, bi, trans or lesbian, if you look straight, most people have a harder time Looking the part believing you when you come clean. This is Just like many “bull dykes,” “twinks,” or transsexuals an emerging issue sometimes referred to as will tell you, the way they dress eclipses who they are and society tends to minimize and marginalize homosexual invisibility. Most of the straight-looking homosexuals out them based upon their appearance. This is no there all seem to have the same complaint: they’re different for fem lesbians or manly gays. Dating can also be more challenging for alone in a crowd, and it’s like no one sees them. them as they aren’t approached as often To someone who has openly declared because they aren’t seen as gay. themselves as gay (which is hard Even if they do attend a primarily enough), it’s even more frustrating queer establishment, they when you aren’t taken seriously “They are are still seen as straight and or excluded from the “gay still seen as straight often ignored by the sea of club,” so to speak. queers around them. Since and often ignored Exclusion these people blend into the by the sea of queers Aside from people not crowd, the backlash from believing the fact that the truth can be more severe around them.” they’re actually gay, many of and longer lasting. these people have to try harder They are often the ones that to be accepted as gay by gays. Being have to approach others romantically part of the “gay family” is a huge component or initiate flirtations and can be met with flippant of the support system available to all the resistance by untrusting gays. Dating for these queers running around in the world. This is an individuals usually boils down to either being important right that can be usurped by their the initiator or standing in the corner hoping appearance, if they aren’t careful. another has the courage to approach them. As a result, these people not only have to Yet, approaching someone who looks straight constantly defend their position to gays and can be tricky business, as hopefuls run the risk of straights alike, they also have to do it without the being confronted by homophobia or rejection. support of the gay community. Other gay-looking Part of the problem with approaching a straight-

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Lindsay Lohan is expected to make a triumphant return to the spotlight, starting off by hosting “Saturday Night Live.” It will be Lohan’s fourth time to host the late-night comedy show, having made her last appearance on the show in 2006. Recent years have not been too kind to Lohan: from her “fire-crotch” incident back in 2006, to the abysmal I Know Who Killed Me (whoever saw that movie fails at life, by the way), Lohan’s reacquaintance with the spotlight will hopefully begin soon. After all, there’s only so many AA meetings you can attend.

Who the fuck Is Jeremy Lin? Jeremy Lin could be an alien, dropped from some mysterious other world that prides itself in creating court-destroying behemoths. Whether you have “Linsanity” or not, you can’t deny that the Harvard sensation puts the team on his back. Recently, Lin contributed to the Dallas Mavericks’ first loss of the season, breaking the team’s sixgame winning streak, and solidifying Lin’s position as one of the NBA’s most valued players. Even President Obama supports Lin: “He’s very impressed and fully up to speed,” said Obama’s Press Secretary Jay Carney, in regards to the president keeping up with the Knicks rookie. If you do not know who Lin is by now, definitely reevaluate your life; catching “Linsanity” is what’s hot right now.

looking person is the inflated possibility of being burned, and that’s partly why so many fems and manly men are ignored.

The solution The solutions to these issues aren’t cut and dry, and no one way is the right way, but one of the biggest requests from this particular group tends to be simple: Approach us! Since these guys and gals are indeed looking for a little non-reproductive romance, they are more than likely giving off signals and vibes that let you know it’s OK to approach the bench.

Photo: nikk_la

Tightrope walker to attempt first crossing of Niagara Falls Yes, you read that correctly. 33-year-old Nik Wallenda, a member of the Flying Wallenda family of daredevils, will attempt a tightrope walk over Niagara Falls, clearing the way for the stunt some time during the summer. “It’s been a dream of mine since I was six years old,” said Wallenda during an interview with Reuters. “I’ve done walks farther and higher; this will be the most iconic. Niagara Falls has been the scene of many other daredevil-related events, including the unfortunate death of Captain Matthew Webb back in 1883. Hopefully Wallenda won’t have a similar outcome, because that would obviously suck. Eli Watson

While flirting styles are unique to each individual, there are typically tell-tale signs that a person is interested. So, the next time you see a hot, seemingly straight person you want to get with, watch for clues. Are they making excessive or frequent eye contact with you, are they being playful, do they touch you when they talk to you? Go with your gut and have some guts! Who knows, the pay off might be well worth the initial discomfort. These hotties shouldn’t have to do all the work. Amanda Chappel

ARRYN ZECH

This week has been full of video game ups and downs to keep my fellow nerds out there on their toes. So, through the trollercoaster that is the video game industry, here’s your weekly Patch.

Psychonauts 2 psych-out? Recently, the twitter followers of Minecraft creator Notch had an internet freak-out over the possibility of helping to create and fund a Psychonauts sequel. Tim Shafer, the creator of the original Psychonauts, expressed to fans of his desire to create a sequel to the cult classic game, but he didn’t have the funds to accomplish the creation of the game. Notch’s response? “Let’s make Psychonauts 2 happen.” Since the initial tweet there has been an explosion of excitement from the fans of the game, but recently Notch has had to tell them to chill out. The first cost projection for the sequel was just a small sum of, at minimum, $13 million, as that was the cost of the first game. Seeing this, Notch thought the project would be feasible. (Must be nice to be able to throw around $13 million willy-nilly.) Recently, though, the project seems to have gone off in a different direction and Notch is weary that it might not work out the way everyone had initially expected. Though the hype has definitely not

“Lost” in the second season. You’d constantly be asking people what the hell is going on; though, in all honesty, “Lost” fans did that anyway. If you’re expecting to finish the new Alan Wake with a true sense of understanding, you’ll be deeply dissatisfied. The first game inspired so many theories as to what is actually happening to Alan, including theories such as he’s an escaped crazy person, he’s in a crazy universe where everything he writes come to life, or even that he was simply in slumber and dreaming the whole thing. The sequel to the For those of you who haven’t played the game doesn’t help remedy your questions, first Alan Wake game, not only do I highly but in fact fuels most of them into even recommend it in general to play, but I also crazier theories. extremely recommend it if you Alan becomes trapped in a time wish to play the sequel. loop, much like Bill Murray Unlike Assassin’s Creed, in Groundhog Day, and is you can’t just skip forced to relive painful Unlike Assassin’s Creed, the first game out memories of the you can’t just skip the first of frustration past. The pretty and jump into sweet, and oddly game.... It would be as if someone the second coincidental, started watching “Lost” in the one with no twist is that the second season. You’d constantly problems. If entire town is you were to experiencing be asking people what the hell go through the same deja-vu is going on; though, in all with that plan, as he is and are honesty, “Lost” fans did you’d end up pretty willing to lost as hell with help Alan out along that anyway. no appreciation for the way. The main the story. It would be as antagonist of the game is if someone started watching Alan’s evil look-alike, Mr. Scratch. died down since the beginning, the actual outlook of the game isn’t quite as bright. The cost projection has nearly tripled and, because of this, no one wants to pick up the game and start making it. Though it’s not impossible, at this time Shafer and Notch don’t see the Psychonauts 2 fantasy becoming a reality any time soon. Sadly, I’ll have to agree.

Alan Wake’s American Nightmare

According to Game Informer, the sequel moves too fast compared to the original title and doesn’t give the player enough time or leeway in exploring the town or the story of the townspeople. Which is really a bummer, considering one of my favorite parts about games is the exploration into potentially amazing scenery and architecture. “The story that Remedy spins is both engaging and exciting, but is too quickly paced and doesn’t take the time to flesh out the secondary characters or establish Night Springs as an attention-grabbing location,” wrote Andrew Reiner for gameinformer. com. “Those great slow moments in the first game … are nowhere to be found in this sequel.… Conversations with Night Springs residents are mostly focused on the events at hand, and there isn’t much in terms of exploration or wandering.” The main weapons are the same as in the original title: your trusty, super-powered flashlights. The enemy’s weakness is the same, though the enemies themselves have changed to be a much more exciting combat opponent. The gameplay reminds me very much of Assassin’s Creed. Not in the combat techniques or even in the story, but in the game’s constant repetition. Because of the deja-vu effect, you’re constantly replaying the same fights, in the same towns, with the same people. I can’t promise you’ll stay interested for that long, but I can confidently say that the game is over-all supposed to be a really good addition to the Alan Wake family.

Quick PS Vita Update Some quick little quips about upcoming things for the PS Vita. Street Fighter X Tekken is making its way to be played on your little handheld device. I don’t know about you, but I know what I’ll be doing next time I’m on a long bus ride. Naughty Dog, the creators of Uncharted, have no plans to produce games playable on the PS Vita. That’s a really big bummer, considering the Uncharted series is pretty fracking awesome. I secretly would have rather played that than Street Fighter. Sorry guys. Arryn Zech UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

Tinkering and drinking

Gamers hanG oUT aT red 7’s viTa hill social clUb red 7 has a new LOOk. Unless you haven’t been to the music venue on 7th Street in the past month or so, it’s pretty hard to miss the new paint job of the inside lounge full of couches and TV screens, especially if you’ve used the bathrooms. Johnny Sarkis, Bars Operations for Transmission Entertainment, said that Sony is renting Red 7’s inside lounge to help promote the release of their new device, PlayStation Vita (PS Vita). Sony approached the venue to be part of the eight Vita Hill Social Clubs across the country. “Sony wanted to find something unique and reflective of Austin and we’re flattered to be a choice,” said Sarkis. The Vita Hill Social Club is at Red 7 during January through February, the time of year when bands aren’t passing through as often, so Sarkis said that it was a no-brainer to take the opportunity as well as the upgrades. The people behind

Red 7 did the painting and repairs and Sony took care of the overall look of the place. “The furniture and decor was all PlayStation’s idea, and the lighting is definitely their preference,” said Sarkis. “It’s pretty crazy what they did with the space, but when we get to take it back over, it’s going to look completely different from what you’ve come to expect from us, in a good way.” Naturally there was some flack from some of the Red 7 regulars when they saw the new look, but overall the response has positive. The music is still going on on the outside stage, which Sarkis said got a fresh coat of paint and a few minor repairs, but in between those band sets or during the down times in the afternoon, people can stop by Red 7 and play some video games in the Vita Hill Social Club. “Folks can come on in, sign out a device to tinker with and grab a beer or a shot while

“Folks can come on in, siGn oUT a device To Tinker WiTh and Grab a beer or a shoT While They’re GaminG.”

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Photo:sarah Vasquez

they’re gaming,” said Sarkis. The PS Vita, which is officially released on Feb. 22, is the latest handheld device from Sony. Similar to the previous PlayStation Portable and a smartphone, it allows gamers to connect online and use different apps within the games as well as the Internet and email. According to the PlayStation’s website, they will host Vita Gaming Challenges to celebrate the release of the PS Vita at 5 PM on Feb. 22 at Red 7. Also on the site, people can see what other events and tournaments are scheduled later in the month. The Vita Hill Social Club will stick around for South by Southwest (SXSW) Interactive. Sarkis said that once Sony packs up and leaves after SXSW, Red 7 will have an upgraded inside room they plan to use. However, Sarkis is keeping those plans to himself. “All we can really say right now is that Red 7 is going to be a slightly different concept, but with a lot of the same flavor you’ve expected from us,” said Sarkis. sarah VasQueZ

Photos: eli watson

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super Crossword

Crypto quip

CLUE: E EQUALS W

This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

HOLLYWOOD HEADLINE

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

sudoku

driver friendly

baND reaDy to release NeW MusIC after three years

DrIVer frIeNDly (also known as Driver f) is finally releasing a new album after three years. the band was pretty close to calling it quits after nine years but decided to head to the mountains to write. the end result, bury a Dream, will be released on feb. 25 at the ND at 501 studios. however, those that can’t make it will have to wait to get their copy when it’s nationally released in april.

I notice you don’t play shows very often, but when you do, there’s a bunch of people. Is that intentional? tyler Dagger: It’s entirely intentional. We started doing that a while back. We realized you can either play four shows in a month to about 50 people each time or play one show to, like, 300 people once every six weeks, and it was just a no-brainer. Also it makes the concert much more of a special event for people. It’s not something that happens all the time, and it gives it more incentive to go to each show because it’s not just a commonplace thing. jeremi Mattern: We’d definitely say our music’s better performed with large groups. It’s more of a fun show so it’s nice to have a fun show with a lot of people. It’s harder to get that energy going when there’s only a handful of people there.

With all seven members, how do you schedule each other? jM: It’s a task. juan lopez: It’s definitely a task. I’ll just say we use an app. jM: This thing changed our band’s life. jl: I’ll even plug it. It’s called GroupMe. Everybody should use it.

Where would we be without smartphones? tD: Yeah, I don’t know how bands did before. But for our artwork, we were working with three different artists. We were able to post everything we were working on: all of our ideas, all of our proofs. Everything was up on Facebook through a group, and that was the only way it was ever going to get done this time around, too. Technology has made it so much easier to be in a band and to just get things done and make it efficient, really. jM: We wouldn’t be able to pay for this album if it wasn’t for Kickstarter, which didn’t exist four years ago.

speaking of the album, how did the plan to record at the mountains come about? jM: Our trombone player’s grandfather built a cabin in

North Carolina. Nice little three-bedroom cabin next to a creek. Then on our tour, we had a couple of days off and his grandparents where there so we stopped there. It was great. It’s just a beautiful place to go, completely secluded. 20 minutes from a little town. An hour and a half from normal civilization. We always talked about going out there and taking all of our equipment and setting up and just recording or trying to write an album and get away from everything. jl: Our goal was, at first, to come out with one song. If we can come with one, it’s a success, but we came out with 10 or nine or something like that. tD: After three days, we were, like, we’re not going anywhere because it was happening so quickly and so easily. At this point we had four or five and it’s, like, let’s not leave until we have an album, and that’s what we did. We just stayed there until we had an album.

“iT’s like a bromance, bUT insTead oF TWo GUys, iT’s seven and no paUl rUdd, UnForTUnaTely.” you ever get cabin fever? tD: For me towards the end. When we left, it was time to go. jl: I probably went into town the most because I started taking summer classes. I had to do a little bit of homework that week and a half we were down, so I had to go into town every couple of days. So I probably had the least amount of cabin fever. tD: We had ping pong and a lot of beer. Chris Walker: We had lots of food. jM: And we built a dam in a creek which was fun.

Photo: Courtesy driver Friendly

lots of team building exercises. tD: Oh yeah. Essentially it was a writing retreat. jl: Became better friends. We had some emotional nights. We’ll just leave it at that, but we became better friends. It was just good all around for all of us. tD: It’s like a bromance, but instead of two guys, it’s seven and no Paul Rudd, unfortunately.

how did people respond to the video for “Ghost” because it’s the first song in so long? jM: Putting out that song first, I wasn’t sure how people were going react since it ’s not a traditional song, but it seems like there’s no complains. It was great. tD: We got over 5000 views in less than a month with no publicity or anything. Just our own fanbase circulating it. For a band our size to do that after not putting anything up for four years, I couldn’t ask for a better response, really. We were just surprised that that many people would be interested in us still. We were hoping, but we had no idea. jl: We really had no expectations for it. We’re, like, people like it, awesome. If they don’t, well, we had fun. That’s pretty much how this whole process has been really. We would love for a million people to love it, but if that doesn’t happen, we’re still completely fine with it because the entire process from beginning to end has been nothing but positive for us and been nothing but a great experience for us as a band. Whatever happens right now, I think it’s just a bonus to us. We hope people will like the record because we love the record. sarah VasQueZ UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

WEDNESDAY

T BIRD AND THE BREAKS

THE WORST TATTOO IN AUSTIN

@ north door, 501 brushy st

@ 29th street ballroom, 2908 Fruth st

Now that Leslie is leaving town, the funk in Austin is nearing its death; the funk is on life support! Nevertheless, there are some bands, people, and things that are keeping the funk alive in this nitty-gritty city. T Bird and the Breaks are one of those bands. Channeling the godfather of soul himself, T Bird rouses up some R&B and mixes it with a little bit of rock ’n roll. In addition, Grupo Fantasma side project Brownout is assisting with the funk resuscitation efforts. These brothers give the funk a psychedelic latin twist. Mucho caliente! tickets: at the door

The top events & shows in Austin this week Will bass 28

THURSDAY

So bad it’s good, it’s time to uncover that stick and poke monster-truck-bustin’-through-arebel-flag or Steve-O tattoo that you’ve been hiding from society for so long. F*Bomb’s second annual Worst Tattoo in Austin will celebrate the more awful things in life as they turn the bad into the best. There will be over a thousand dollars in tattoo prizes so you can come back next year and prove your worth. On top of that, cheap booze, burlesque shows, and bands will help to inspire future bad tattoo ideas that you might have. tickets: www.fbombforever.com

FRIDAY

AFHC: BEARD AND MUSTACHE COMPETITION @ nd, 501 brushy st

Think you got what it takes? Put down that razor and cue the “Eye of the Tiger” montage of you drinking steroids, putting fertilizer on your face, and gluing hair from down there to up here in order to get ready for this bad boy. Some of Austin’s most hairy, burly, and nasty dudes will come out to show just how weird this town can actually get. Ladies are invited to witness this spectacle also, or even participate if they are of that variety. tickets: at the door

► aLso worThy

Weird Wendesday: High Crime

Exploded Drawing DJ Series

Tim Berne (Free Jazz)

Soulhat

Vintage Love Dance Party

Crown Imperial

BedPost Confessions: Orgams Inc.

Happy Hour Book Club: Keith Richards’ Life

West By West Campus Pre-Party

Austin Toros

Coma in Algiers

Juggle Fest 2012

Bike Maintenance Class

Advanced Painting Class

Bad Tattoo Script Reading

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress Barton Creek Cinema, 2901 S Capital of Texas Highway Cedar Park Center, 2100 Avenue of the Stars Mellow Johnny’s Bike Shop, 400 Nueces

February 22, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

North Door, 501 Brushy St Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Mohawk, 912 Red River

Dragon’s Lair Comics, 6111 Burnet

Cactus Cafe, 2231 Guadalupe Mohawk, 912 Red River Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Ruta Maya, 3601 S Congress Trailer Space, 1401 Rosewood Ave

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY @ nd, 501 brushy st

T BIRD AND THE BREAKS @ north door, 501 brushy st

► aLso worThy

Weird Wendesday: High Crime Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Soulhat

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

BedPost Confessions: Orgams Inc.

Barton Creek Cinema, 2901 S Capital of Texas Highway

Austin Toros

Cedar Park Center, 2100 Avenue of the Stars

Bike Maintenance Class

Mellow Johnny’s Bike Shop, 400 Nueces

THE WORST TATTOO IN AUSTIN

@ 29th street ballroom, 2908 Fruth st

So bad it’s good, it’s time to uncover that stick and poke monster-truck-bustin’-through-a-rebel-flag or Steve-O tattoo that you’ve been hiding from society for so long. F*Bomb’s second annual Worst Tattoo in Austin will celebrate the more awful things in life as they turn the bad into the best. There will be over a thousand dollars in tattoo prizes so you can come back next year and prove your worth. On top of that, cheap booze, burlesque shows, and bands will help to inspire future bad tattoo ideas that you might have. tickets: www.fbombforever.com

► aLso worThy

Exploded Drawing DJ Series North Door, 501 Brushy St

Vintage Love Dance Party Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

Happy Hour Book Club: Keith Richards’ Life The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Coma in Algiers

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Advanced Painting Class

Dragon’s Lair Comics, 6111 Burnet

AFHC: BEARD AND MUSTACHE COMPETITION

► aLso worThy

Tim Berne (Free Jazz)

Cactus Cafe, 2231 Guadalupe

TUESDAY Crown Imperial

Mohawk, 912 Red River

West By West Campus Pre-Party Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Juggle Fest 2012

Ruta Maya, 3601 S Congress

Bad Tattoo Script Reading

Trailer Space, 1401 Rosewood Ave

TEENGIRL FANTASY @ beauty ballroom, 2015 e riverside

No, this isn’t some pederast porn convention, although I’m sure

UWeeklyATX.com | February 22, 2012

► bLind PiG

► aGaVe

317 e 6th

415 e 6th

$2.50 wells/domestics

$2 you-call-its

► TiniesT bar in TeXas

► Friends

817 w 5th

208 e 6th

$3 Jack, Jim, and Jager

$2 Vodka bombs

► diZZy roosTer

407 e 6th

$2 wells/domestics/jello shots

$1 domestics, wells $2 import bottles

► ChuGGin’ Monkey

► buFFaLo biLLiards

219 e 6th

201 e 6th

$2 wells/domestics til 10 pm

$3 Imperial

► Cain and abeL’s

► bikini’s on 6Th

2313 rio grande

214 e 6th

$3.50 bombs

$12 beer buckets

► MaLaia

► shakesPeare’s Pub

300 e 6th

317 e 6th

$2 domestic beers, $2 wells til 11 pm

$4 bombs

► diZZy roosTer

varsiTy bar 2324 GUadalUpe

► The Library

306 e 6th

► LaVaCa sT. bar

In eVerY cItY, there’s always that one spot patrons go to in order fulfill their desire for the two essential B’s: Bizza and Beer. Who cares if I stole the “two B’s” line from a waiter at a pizza joint I was ordering beer from? The dude was right, there’s hardly anything that goes together more naturally than a slice of pepperoni pizza and a pitcher of Live Oak Big Bark. Luckily for you, both of these items can be found at Varsity Bar, located conveniently on top of Austin’s Pizza right on the drag. Hell, you can even order a pizza downstairs, order a drink upstairs while you enjoy some sports on one of Varsity Bar’s many TVs and get your pizza delivered upstairs to you as you bask in the bar’s ambiance. There’s really nothing quite like getting a whole pizza delivered to you mid-pitcher when you have absolutely nothing else planned for your night except sheer secular enjoyment. Fun stuff.

brian boGarT

► FueL

306 e 6th

405 Lavaca

607 trinity

$2 domestic/wells/jello shots

$6 25oz big beer mondays

$2 domestics, $2 shots, $2 any drink, $3 bb bombs

► Treasure isLand

► GinGer Man

► sPiLL

413 e 6th

301 Lavaca

212 e 6th

.25¢ wells, $1 triples and kamikaze shots, $4 bombs

Logo pint night

$2 tall boys, $2 whiskey, $1 miller highlife

► sPiLL

► Trudy’s

► ThirsTy niCkeL

212 e 6th

409 w 30th

325 e 6th

$1 wells/miller high Life

$5 mexican martinis

$3 anY tequila, $1 tecate/Lone star

COMING SOON THURSDAYS

for more details visit: UWEEKLYAUSTIN.com

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