March 7, 2012

UWeekly’s Completely-notaffiliated-with-SXSW Day Party at Emo’s East with Dum Dum Girls & Theophilus London (3/15) THE INDEPENDENT VOICE OF UT AUSTIN

MAR 7, 2012

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VOL 4 ISSUE 07

Showcases • Free Events • Swag • Hidden Shows • More Photo: Lauren Dukoff

Join us at Cheer Up Charlie’s March 13 for Our UWeekly Day Party featuring The Sour Notes

MARCH 7, 2012

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Slow Your Roll

10

(Un)Saintly Behavior

18

Cheer Up,

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UWeekly Sits Down

with Squarerut Kava Bar

Out of New Orleans

This is Going to Be a Great Show

with Zlam Dunk

The Givers @ Emo’s 2011, Photo: Danny Garcia

Photo: Karissa Rodriguez

Weighing in on higher education Secretary of Education to visit Austin Community College US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan will be visiting Austin to discuss higher education issues in a town hall meeting from 1 to 2:15 PM on March 8 at Austin Community College District’s Eastview campus in the Multipurpose Hall.

The event is designed to connect students, educators, business leaders and policy makers for a discussion on topics including changing trends in higher education, aligning education programs with in-demand skills and the importance of community colleges in training America’s workforce, according to an ACC press release.

“It is an honor for the college to host the Secretary of Education, and we want to see a lot of students come out for the town hall,” said ACC president/CEO Dr. Richard Rhodes. “This is a unique opportunity for ACC students to have a voice in a national conversation.”

Students as well as the public are encouraged

to attend the meeting which is co-hosted by the Greater Austin Chamber of Commerce and TechNet in addition to ACC. “I’m excited for this meeting to be held here in Austin,” said ACC student Yolanda Ramos. “I want to get up and speak my mind at the meeting because I feel like there is definitely more that the government can do to improve education.”

As a college student and mother of a 6-yearold, Ramos is concerned with both the present and future state of education.

“I want to express my concerns about how Texas has been ruining education for not only college students, but public school students as well,” said Ramos, referring to massive education budget cuts taken by the Texas Legislature during the 2011 legislative session.

In light of the budget cuts, Ramos believes that the US government should be able do more for its citizens if they believe their state is

doing more harm than good when it comes to funding education.

“The US government needs to realize that there is a point where they need to step in if a state is acting in a way that is detrimental to the education

“I’m excited for this meeting to be held here in Austin. I want to get up and speak my mind at the meeting because I feel like there is definitely more that the government can do to improve education.” of its population,” said Ramos. “I understand that, legally, that’s pretty much impossible, but its something the Department of Education should consider because the Texas Legislature could have done more for our education instead of slashing its funding dramatically.”

University of Texas student Beverly Nguyen

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March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

disagrees and thinks that the government should be less intrusive when it comes to being involved with state education.

“Its the state’s right to spend taxpayer money how they see fit,” said Nguyen. “We don’t need the US government to tell us how to spend our money.”

Despite Nguyen’s stance on states’ rights, like Ramos, she isn’t happy with the education budget cuts made by the Legislature last year and is concerned with rising tuition costs.

“I’m not saying I have the right answer, but I also don’t think it’s the current US administration’s responsibility or believe in them enough to step

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February 29, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

in and take over our education funding with a positive result,” said Nguyen.

Anyone interested in attending the town hall meeting, hearing Duncan speak and/or sharing their own opinions should RSVP at go.austincc.edu/townhall.

Karissa Rodriguez

Photo: Karan Sethi

Beaten senseless

UT students document the “beat” movement in a feature film Originally starting out as sketchy little house parties in East Austin that incorporated musical acts in the vein of J Dilla and Madlib, the Austin “Beat” movement has slowly started to assert itself in Austin’s music scene. Imaginative creativity and emotionally driven performance is what propels this movement forward as local creative acts attempt to break the stereotypical mold of other electronic artists. Unknown to many Austinites, this musical movement has not benefited from any conventional publicity until now.

UT advertising students Bianca Sauceda, Karan Sethi, Alice Geaccone and Hannah Casper decided to get the word out of this

more than half of the proceeds needed to begin production. The four students have also gained the support of national and local companies alike, such as Dub Academy and Akai Professional. The film is planned to begin production during the live events of SXSW until the end of summer, and is set to release during September of this fall.

Focusing on local beat crews Applied Pressure, Exploded Drawing and LNS and local beat talents Lo-Phi, Butcher Bear and Boombaptist, the documentary will highlight how such a genre-less environment perpetuates their musical creativity to create

What truly defines this film is how it exhibits the underlying, almost forgotten commitment to make music for the sake of making music. emerging movement in Austin by creating a documentary called (Beat)en Senseless.

Initially taking root as the brainchild of Karan to document local underground talent, the film immediately piqued the interests of Alice, Bianca, and Hannah. Soon enough, they all contacted each other and decided to follow through with this idea and create a full-length feature film. The project received such positive and immediate support that (Beat)en Senseless soon took form.

Although (Beat)en Senseless has not yet begun official production, these ambitious filmmakers show no signs of abandoning their film. They have created a Kickstarter account to raise funds and have already accrued

a sound that is distinct from other artists. The documentary will also address how, unlike other cities, Austin harbors one giant creative family that fosters a relaxed and openly receptive environment that allows for more collaborations and genuine appreciation for each other’s work.

What truly defines this film is how it exhibits the underlying, almost forgotten commitment to make music for the sake of making music.

The artist’s dedication to authenticity and engagement in devoted camaraderie defines the “beat movement” as the local beat artists redefine not only Austin’s, but also the nation’s way of making music.

Alex Ramirez

Photo: Eli Watson

Most people in Austin like their altered states solely on one end of the spectrum.

From the nerve frying effects of a venti iced coffee in the morning to the painful oblivion of a twelve pack of Steel Reserve, Austinites swing from one buzz to another, hard.

However, for those who want to alter themselves without the crash of coffee or the regretful mornings of alcohol, there is Kava.

Even better, there is a bar that serves the real deal in Austin now, Squarerut Kava bar.

something that you might drink for its effects, not necessarily to savor the taste.”

Yet neophytes shouldn’t fear. Since most have taken down their fair share of moonshine, chuckwagon coffee, and Austin water, the arresting taste of Kava shouldn’t be such a problem.

“The strength of it reminds me of a light beer. The taste isn’t that overwhelming,” said Slade. “Also, I think the pineapple chaser actually gives the Kava a desirable taste.”

that it produces are all its own. Unlike alcohol, Kava promotes a sense of mental clarity, it doesn’t produce hangovers, and doesn’t make one want to take a cat nap a couple of hours later.

Likewise, one doesn’t have to worry about flashing lights in the rearview mirror when they get in their car, as it’s not illegal to drive while Kava-sizing. Better yet, Kava’s reverse tolerance, due to your body building up enzymes to metabolize it, and non-addictive qualities

“I think Kava is going to take you to that place of the third beer. The bodily relaxation, sociability, and anti-anxiety properties are just some of the physiological effects of imbibing it.”

Kava has been used for over 3000 years for it sedative and medicinal effects in the South Pacific. The substance is a root which is pounded into powder and soaked in water. The psychoactive components, Kavalactones, mingle with serotonin, dopamine, and a number of other brain chemicals to produce a highly sedative effect on the drinker’s mind and body.

“For me, drinking Kava at the end of a stressful day is a great and healthy alternative to the bucket of beers,” said Kava enthusiast Gilbert Slade.

However, there are some draw backs to the Kava experience, such as the taste. Coming off like a number two pencil on one’s tongue, Kava has a very pungent and earthy taste to it.

“Kava is not really an acquired taste.

Some people enjoy it, some people don’t,” said Squarerut owner Scott Moreno. “I like to compare it to a health supplement. It’s

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March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

There are a number of different medicinal effects with Kava. People have claimed that it can be used to treat insomnia, anxiety, and a number of other different problems associated with stress. In addition, it promotes sociability for those who would normally get sweaty palms just thinking about a party.

After getting past the first couple of sips, one’s mouth and tongue start to go numb and the sedative effects slowly start to creep in. The mind starts to relax, your shoulders drop, along with your concern with the world around you.

“I think Kava takes you to that place of the third beer,” said Moreno. “The bodily relaxation, sociability, and anti-anxiety properties are just some of the physiological effects of imbibing it.”

Moreover, while Kava might be analogous to that third-beer experience, the sensations

make it easier on the wallet than getting your swerve on down on 6th every weekend.

“If you come in here and have four shells of Kava, it is only going to take you two shells to achieve that same effect,” said Moreno. “Plus, that sedated state will be the same whether you have six or two after your first visit.”

Nevertheless, Kava is still relatively knew to the scene in America; the closest Kava bar is in Florida. And while south Austin might be a trek for some, the vibe, friendly service, and powerful Kava of Squarerut will make you feel like you just got back from Fiji.

“I think Squarerut is a great asset to the Austin,” said Slade. “The Kava experience is one of a kind, and there is no place that will give you that than Squarerut.”

Squarerut is located at 6000 S Congress.

Their website is www.squarerut.com. Visit their Facebook page for updates, deals, and hours.

William M. Bass

Publisher Michael Huereque Account Executives Nick Lorges Emily Faeth Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie Sports Writers Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne Elijah Watson Arryn Zech Circulation Jeremy Tooker CONTACT uweeklyatx.com michael@uweeklyaustin.com facebook.com/uweeklyaustin PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC ABOUT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each. Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2012 Highbrow, LLC

Baldies = hotties

Good Deeds

How far would you go to help someone with cancer?

We’ve all seen the romantic gestures of people on TV or movies who shave their head when someone they know and love loses their hair due to cancer as a show of solidarity. But would you actually do it for someone you knew? Would you do it for someone you didn’t know?

That’s the question St. Balderick’s Foundation aims to answer during their upcoming charity event at Fado Irish Pub this March 10.

St. Balderick’s foundation is a volunteerbased organization whose mission is to help fund research in order to find cures for various types of childhood cancer. As we all can agree, cancer is devastating enough, let alone when a child gets it. Sadly, though, over 160,000 children all over the world are diagnosed and die from cancer each year. But that’s where you can step in to help find a cure to this illness.

St. Balderick’s, like most non-profit organizations, has to rely upon the donations and monetary support of others to not only fund their organization, but also to have enough money to dole out in grants each year to research institutions. To do this, they encourage everyday citizens to hold events that raise funds for the organization. Lucky for you, one’s headed your way.

On Saturday, March 10, head on down to Fado Irish Pub from between the hours of 10 AM-3 PM to enjoy live music by ESPADA and The Lost & Nameless Orchestra. There will also be Irish Dancers, plenty of Irish Whiskey and (drum roll, please) head-shaving!

That’s right. If you’re up for it, you can have your head shaved by professional head shavers.

Well, they might not be professional, but I’m sure they can make your hair disappear. And once

fundraising goal has been met. If you can, put together a team to help raise money. If you can’t donate any money yourself, donate your time! Since the event is sponsored by

“Once you get in the chair and start having second thoughts, just remember that it’s for charity.” you get in the chair and start having second thoughts, just remember that it’s for charity.

So far almost $30,000 of their $75,000

KVUE, many local Austin-area organizations such as the Austin Fire Department and Austin Police Department have already

raised thousands of dollars to put towards this worthy and noble goal.

Amanda Chappel

Fado Irish Pub March 10, 10 AM-3 PM 10-11 AM: 1st Head Shaving with ESPADA 12-1 PM: 2nd Head Shaving with Lost & Nameless Orchestra 2-3 PM: 3rd Head Shaving with Lost & Nameless Orchestra UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

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Events on or around campus

Wednesday, March 7 Women’s Basketball Texas Tech, Kansas City, MO, 5 PM

Softball Texas Tech, Austin, TX, 4 PM

Thursday, March 8 Men’s Basketball Iowa State (Big 12 Championship quarterfinals), Kansas City, MO, 8:30 PM

Women’s Tennis William & Mary, Austin, TX, 2 PM

Men’s Tennis San Diego, Austin, TX, 6 PM

Women’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Men’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone ‘D’ Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Friday, March 9 Men’s Basketball Semifinals, Kansas City, MO, TBA

Baseball Loyola Marymount, Austin, TX, 6 PM

Men’s Track NCAA Indoor Championships, Nampa, ID, TBA

Women’s Track NCAA Indoor Championships, Nampa, ID, TBA

Men’s Golf Southern Highlands Collegiate Invitational, Las Vegas, NV, All Day

Men’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone ‘D’ Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Women’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Saturday, March 10 Men’s Basketball Championship Game, Kansas City, MO, 5 PM

Baseball Loyola Marymount, Austin, TX, 7 PM

Men’s Tennis Florida State, Austin, TX, 11 AM

Women’s Tennis SMU, Austin, TX, 3 PM

Men’s Tennis Nicholls State, Austin, TX 5:30 PM

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March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Men’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone ‘D’ Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Men’s Track NCAA Indoor Championships, Nampa, ID, TBA

Women’s Swim & Dive NCAA Zone Diving Meet, Iowa City, IA, All Day

Men’s Golf Southern Highlands Collegiate Invitational, Las Vegas, NV, All Day

Women’s Track NCAA Indoor Championships, Nampa, ID, TBA

Sunday March 11 Baseball Loyola Marymount, Austin, TX, 1 PM

Women’s Tennis Michigan, Austin, TX, 11 AM

Men’s Golf Southern Highlands Collegiate Invitational, Las Vegas, NV, All Day

Tuesday, March 13 Baseball Texas State, Austin, TX, 6 PM

Softball Hawaii, Honolulu, Hawaii, 10 PM

Men’s Tennis USC, Austin, TX, 6 PM Brian Bogart

I’m a creep

Sex slaves

March 7 Radiohead visits Austin and jams with us a bit for the first time since they last toured in 2008. Unsuccessful Austin indie bands are encouraged to attend, you know, to see how it’s done.

Frank Erwin Center, 7:30 PM

March 8 If you’re curious in learning more about the sex trafficking industry in order to help stop it in its tracks, come listen to survivor and founder of Girls Educational and Mentoring Services (GEMS) Rachel Lloyd as she presents her book Girls Like Us. School of Social Work, Utopia Theatre, 7:30-9 PM

Fashion, baby March 7 We all know how useless and vapid the fashion industry is, what with their anorexic models in clothes we’d never be able to afford. But did you know that there’s an even darker side to the industry? Shocking, I know. That’s why directors David Redmon and Ashley Sabin made a film about a pretty young thing from Siberia trying to make it big. Q&A to follow screening.

Burdine hall (BUR) 106, 7-9 PM

Cornholio

Mahjong tea

March 8 The Center for Sustainable Development will be bringing you a special screening of King Corn. Although the title sounds like a bad sci-fi thriller, it’s actually a documentary about the subsidized crop that supports our nation of fast-food gluttons. Snacks provided, bring a picnic if you want.

Goldsmith Hall (GOL) 2.110, 7-10 PM

March 9 Do you know what mahjong is? Me either.

If you know how to play and want to sit in for a round or two, be my guest. If you don’t know how to play and want to sit in for a round or two, be my guest. Either way, I still don’t know what mahjong is.

McCombs School of Business (CBA) 4.332, 5-7 PM, $2 Amanda Chappel

Air It Out

Dear emotionally immature UT secretary, You were hired by the university to assist students. Getting annoyed at us for expecting you to do your job is not okay. Every time I go into your office to get a simple question answered, I have to wait through one of your five-minute lectures about how students aren’t willing to do the things you get paid to do. I can tell you have some bratty kids at home, but I am not your child, so don’t act like you’re my mother - enough with the lectures.

You know why I don’t have every obscure department policy and deadline memorized?

Because that’s YOUR responsibility, not mine.

Last week, I went into your office to ask whether I’d done some paperwork correctly.

Instead of just a “yes” or “no”, you spent half an hour making me redo the form, asking inane

SUBMIT TO AIR IT OUT! 1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

questions about every line. Every time I tried to explain how I had ALREADY done this form, you told me to be quiet and let you think. After all that, I turned out to be right about every single part of it. Then, you had the nerve to snap at me, telling me it was MY fault for wasting your time? I think it’s time for you to look into anger management.

Oh, and the time last semester, when you were sitting at your desk, but your assistant had to cover for you all day because you were “having a fit”? If it were up to me, you would be fired for that.

Sincerely, A student whose tuition pays your salary 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

airitout@uweeklyatx.com

Opinion Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

That’s what she said.

If you could have a superpower what would it be and why?

“Duh, the ability to read people’s minds so when I decide to go on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire,” I don’t have to try and I’ll just automatically win! Come at me Regis.”

Halley Rosenberg

“I would want to have the ability to read minds...it would allow me to have the upper hand in most social situations. Not only would I be able to predict questions in an interview, I would be able to decipher between fraudulent and non-fradulent business deals.”

Mary Dang

“I’d want to fly...no more overpriced seats in coach.”

Beatriz Moreno

“To be invisible because I’m pretty shy.”

Samantha Garcia

“I would want to be able to fly because I could get anywhere I wanted so fast and I could enjoy the cool breeze.”

Sydney Kopp

“I would persuade people not to be lazy and not to watch TV and to enjoy your life as much as you can...and world peace.”

Lucie Admamoea UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

9

The Saints

once said that playing running back was like being in a car crash every week. How on earth do we expect that this sort of practice wouldn’t be present? Isn’t it foolish, almost disingenuous of us to expect physical, violent production on the field, but without any overhanging dubious behavior? That seems idealist to a fault.

It’s also pretty unclear how much these incentives made a difference. Your average professional football player is perfectly willing to damage other people without any monetary benefit. It’s a sport about hitting people. A particularly bone-crushing shot is immortalized on SportsCenter every Sunday night. We, as a people, have no right to be outraged. This is what we asked for. Perhaps we preferred it to be handled a little more honorably than the Saints’ methodology, but this is no time to be on a high horse.

come marching in A pro and con on the New Orleans Saints’ actions

Brian (Con): Photo: JaseMan

Last week it was revealed that the New Orleans Saints defensive unit had been running a bounty program, monetarily rewarding players for certain hits that inflicted pain or injury on the desired target. While football is obviously a tough man’s game, the scalps the Saints collected included the likes of Brett Favre and Kurt Warner, beloved ambassadors and icons of the game who have since retired. While it would be naive to think the Saints were running the only bounty program in all of the NFL, was it still a big deal and what would be a deserving punishment in the grand scheme of things? Brian and Luke bump heads mano-a-mano in this week’s showdown.

Luke (Pro): I’m not here to say that endorsing bounty programs is a good idea. I’m also not here to say that the New Orleans Saints organization doesn’t deserve some severe sanctions for participating in this particular brand of savageness. But I will say this: There is absolutely no way that the

Saints are the only NFL franchise participating in this sort of behavior. Any delusion otherwise completely contradicts the entire demeanor of American Football as a whole.

We’re talking about a game where, in 16 games, more players are lost to injury than any other team sport. We’ve seen knees buckled,

concussions dished, ribs snapped, careers ended, and all of it on the gridiron. We’re talking about a sport where an all-pro linebacker named James Harrison is publicly on record as saying he’s far more interested in hurting people than he is playing football. We’re talking

Look, I’m not dumb. I know there are things that go on in a football locker room at just about any level that would shock and horrify anyone who had never stepped foot in one and this bounty program is just another one of those things. But we’re talking about player health here and, as we all know, that has been a pretty hot-button topic these last few seasons with the increased awareness of the long-lasting effects of certain injuries

To say that it isn’t horrifying for a team to reward their players for actively trying to compromise the health of another player would just be wrong. about a sport where countless replays of Joe Theisman’s leg snapping were shown because, hey, that’s what the people want to see.

This is a violent, violent sport, played by men who hype themselves up in near-warlike fashion to compete. Running back LaDanian Tomlinson

players can endure for the rest of their lives.

To say that it isn’t horrifying for a team to reward their players for actively trying to compromise the health of another player would just be wrong. Sure, it’s the reality of the situation, but it’s still just plain wrong.

n 5k, we will now be offering a In addition to the Historic Downtow History 5k, and UT Campus 5k.

Scenic Lake & Park 10k, Austin Music Saturday March 10 Historic Downtown 5k - 10am Scenic Parks/Lake 10k - 10am Austin Music History 5k - 3pm

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CityRunningTours.com/Austin

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Sunday March 11 Historic Downtown 5k - 12pm Scenic Parks/Lake 10k - 3pm UT Campus 5k - 3pm Check out www.cityrunningtours

.com/austin for more info.

With the message the NFL has been trying to send for a while now, this couldn’t have come at a worst time for the Saints, who are believed to have been using the bounty program throughout the course of their 2009 championship run. While this case probably won’t hang some big grey cloud over the Saints’ championship year with an asterisk to accompany it, it just takes away from any notion of sportsmanship that you thought might have still been present in football.

I understand that it is idealist to not believe that any wrongdoing goes on behind closed doors in a football meeting room and I’m not calling for a nation-wide investigation of every minute detail that goes into producing a product on the football field. But is it

Highlight

Reel

As a huge boxing fan, it’s always tough for me to see just how little exposure the sport gets on a consistent basis, and a lot of that comes from fans simply not knowing or caring about the names and faces involved in the sport outside of Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather.

While admittedly boxing has nothing to blame but itself for its decline in the public eye, HBO has done more than its fair share to bolster the sport’s credibility with its latest endeavor being a personal look into the life of celebrated trainer Freddie Roach who, besides training some of the biggest names in the sport, is also in a constant struggle with Parkinson’s Disease. If you have any interest in boxing as a sport or Freddie Roach the man, do yourself a favor and watch “On Freddie Roach,” because in my opinion it’s one of the best things on television you can watch. Then again, this isn’t television. It’s HBO. Is Texas in or is Texas out? That is the question that has been haunting our Longhorn basketball team ever since they’ve settled in on the NCAA tournament bubble since about the midpoint of the season. Some people have UT as one of the last four teams in the tournament, and some have UT as one of the last four teams out; either way, if Texas doesn’t make it to the dance this year, this team will have no right to complain as it never truly sealed a season-

Photo: Christopher Johnson

The

really so much to ask that a team not reward their players for potentially shortening the playing career, or even the lifespan, of the person they just collided with?

Football is a hard-hitting game and that’s part of why we all watch it every weekend.

Unfortunately, injuries are just a part of the equation that goes into making the product we love so very much. But slipping someone a thousand or two thousand bucks every time the medical team has to bring out a stretcher while that player’s family hopelessly looks on in angst just doesn’t sit well with me, which is why I believe the Saints’ defensive unit that was part of the whole bounty program deserve whatever penalty they get.

Luke Winkie and Brian Bogart

defining win over the course of the regular season. Now that the Big 12 championship is looming, it will be up to the Longhorns to prove on a national stage that they belong in the dance and that, for the first time in a long time, they just might be Cinderella.

NBA mid-season MVP’s so far, in order: Kevin Durant, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Love and . . . Tony Parker? Sure, why not.

Speaking of the NBA, as much as the whole lockout ordeal completely sucked, I’ve really enjoyed this year’s NBA season thus far and think that the talent pool currently in the NBA is at an all-time high. It’s just a great time for basketball in general. Rejoice.

Let’s see how this year’s recruiting race between Texas and OU has been shaking out so far, several weeks removed now from Signing Day: Texas: 12 commits, 8 in the ESPN Top 150 Oklahoma: 1 commit, 1 in the ESPN Top 150 As far as NCAA basketball is concerned, this is how I see it. Top-tier teams: Kentucky and Syracuse. Bottom-tier teams: Everyone else.

Brian Bogart

CHEER UP CHARLIES

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shootin’ the shit

Do you think LeBron is actually up for a ring this year?

-Sam Gorena B Samson, it hurts me to say this, but in a word: Yes. I think this actually might be his year. It just comes down to math. If I think LeBron is savvy to win about three rings in his career (I’d put his over/under for three career rings if I had to put a number on it), then he’s gonna have to win one eventually and why not have it happen on the heels of a shortened season?

I still think this year is destined to have the Heat and Thunder clash in the finals, but I just think the Heat have too much firepower to lose a seven-game series. Now I know that’s what I

break almost as good as the potent 1-2 punch that is LeBron and D-Wade. Besides just Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, the Thunder are also a team that thrive from the production of their role players, with Serge Ibaka defending down low and Perkins providing the interior strength needed to stand up to teams who like to play in the paint.

But that is, of course, all assuming the Heat make it to the finals in the first place.

Chicago is no slouch in the east and there are some surprise teams like Atlanta that

Yes. I think this actually might be his year. It just comes down to math. said about last year’s finals between the Heat and Mavericks, but in all fairness it’s what a lot of people were saying. Between the old legs on the Mavs, the stigma that Dirk could never win a ring, and the Heat’s freakish athleticism, everything looked ready and poised for LeBron to snatch his first ring. But we all know what happened now and it wouldn’t be surprising at all to see a whole new set of problems get in the way of Miami and their championship aspirations.

While Oklahoma City and Dallas are completely different teams and match up in different ways against the Heat, they can still ball with the best of them and run the fast-

could also figure into the mix of surprise playoff teams when all is said and done. One thing I do know for a fact, however, is that no matter who wins it all this year it’s gonna be a tremendous playoff season to watch as the sun continues to set on one generation of players while it keeps shining brighter and brighter for the new crop of young talent.

But if I’m answering your question, Sam Gorena: LeBron James will win his first championship ring this year and people in Cleveland will have very complicated emotions about it.

Brian Bogart

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Burnt orange alternatives Embracing the other sports in UT’s athletic repertoire Texas football has long been over, and Texas basketball continues to be a massive disappointment after the promises of last year. For most people that means UT’s collegiate sports are a lost cause, and those people are also full of shit. We’ve got plenty of athletes amongst our 50,000 students, most of them who aren’t involved in America’s most popular games. If the season has you feeling blue, take a look at any of these other ventures to rev up that athletic pride in a nontraditional way.

Golf Yeah, golf! Why not? The University of Texas actually does have a respectful golf program (both men and women), and your Longhorn team is currently competing in the Southern Highlands Collegiate Invitational somewhere in Las Vegas, Nev. You’re excused if you didn’t know that was a thing until you read it. From March 16-17, your Longhorns will be back in Austin in the Morris Williams Invitational. Considering these kids probably only get support from their parents and golf enthusiasts, go ahead and give them some love! You might even learn a thing or two on your putting touch.

this could be an ideal gateway back into the swing of things. (Get it? Swing? Anybody?

Oh, never mind.) Next time you find yourself bored and discontent on a Wednesday night, go out and catch a baseball game or a softball match, and stop bitching about having nothing to do. This is what college is for.

Rowing Rowing is a sport you often see advertised with a giant “NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY!” slo gan som ewhere in th e eas t mall at th e b e ginning of each sem es ter. T his is th e c ase b e c ause, we ll, nob o d y really k nows what rowing is . I sure as h ell don’t . I ’m pre t t y sure it invo lves rowing, though the pic ture on th e website features a bunch of tough - lo o k ing dudes rowing a b o at . S o that might b e k ind of f un?

Photo: University of Texas at Austin Athletics

Tennis Tennis is among the most fashionable sports in the world, mainly because the word “Wimbledon” just feels like prestige.

It’s also among the most entertaining. If you were lucky enough to witness Nadal and Djokavich’s epic 4 AM duel in the Australian Open a few weeks ago, you know what I’m

Next time you find yourself bored and discontent on a Wednesday night, go out and catch a baseball game or a softball match, and stop bitching about having nothing to do. This is what college is for.

Baseball and softball In case you didn’t know, the Longhorn baseball and softball seasons are in full swing. College baseball has never been a primary draw in the grand hierarchy of the NCAA, but then you remember that Texas fielded Roger Clemens long before he became an infamous steroid-junkie. With the MLB season only a few short weeks way,

I ’m not se lling you, am I? Well think of it this way. You, dear UWe ek ly reader, have the opp or tunit y to b e com e th e f ir s t ever rowing sup er f an in th e his tor y of the sp or t! You would b e th e mos t cherishe d f igure of rowing my tho lo g y.

You’ll b e the so le reason th e Te xas team won’t re gret f ailing to make th e fo otb all team! T hey ’ve got an event on March 17 at L ad y Bird L ake. B e th ere and f ulf ill your des tiny.

talking about. Assuming you’re reading this on a Wednesday, the Texas tennis team has a match with San Diego State tomorrow night at 6 PM. I guarantee you have nothing better to do on an early Thursday evening than watch a tennis match. You could listlessly burn time on the internet, or you could be watching your fellow humans compete in levels you will never, ever approach. It’s a pretty easy call.

Luke Winkie UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

13

The Bite Fight: Mike Tyson, 1997

One fine day

Why (almost) no one is safe from the man, no matter what sport they play Rules are rules. No matter where you go or what you do in your life, chances are rules are going to follow you around in some form or another. Unless you’re a drag rat, in which case your only rule is to annoy the shit out of people walking to and from class every day. And in which case, if you are a drag rat reading this right now, I just politely ask that you don’t use this column as toilet paper. And if you do, I just hope it’s really uncomfortable.

As far as rules go, however, anyone who is a member of an institutionalized sport is expected to follow more rules than you can shake a stick at. While the NFL is still determining a punishment for the New Orleans Saints in lieu of their admittance that they once ran a bounty program where players got paid based on who they could injure, which will likely go down as the biggest fine in NFL history, we decided to look back at some of the most famous—and infamous—fines in the history of sports.

Spygate: Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots, 2007 Don’t get me wrong, I fucking hate it when the media adds “gate” to the end of everything nearly half a century after the Watergate scandal. Have we lost our creativity, or are we really just that lazy? And then when the media wanted to call Jeremy Lin “Linsanity,”

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March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

after Vince Carter’s moniker of “Vinceanity,” despite Lin’s extremely pun-friendly name, it made me want to choke a stripper.

But that’s neither here or there, because Spygate was all about Bill Belichick doing what he does best, which is being a nogood, frowny-faced cheater with bad posture and a comb-over. But it wasn’t all Buffalo Bill’s fault. After all, he made a simple “mistake” in his interpretation of the rules.

Tyson was also forced to pay $3 million plus legal fees and even temporarily had his boxing license revoked.

Who cares if he didn’t bother to consider the fact that no other team used spies or that it just kind of seems obvious that taping other teams’ practices is a no-no. He definitely heard the NFL’s message, though, as he was slapped hard with a $500,000 fine, which still records (probably not for much longer) as the harshest fine ever imposed by the NFL in its nearly century-old history. It was almost poetic justice to see the Patriots go 18-1 that year and no one probably felt more bitter about it than Bill himself.

I don’t know if you were around for the ’90s, but chances are if you were you knew just about every sordid detail of Mike Tyson’s infamous meltdown in which he bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield’s ear in the rematch of their first fight. Basically, three rounds into the fight, when it looked like Evander was picking up where he left off after winning their first fight, Mike got a little frustrated and, well, bit the dude’s ear. After Holyfield jumped up and down in anguish, tough-as-nails referee Mills Lane made an executive decision to deduct two points from Tyson before letting the fight resume, only to have Tyson bite Holyfield’s ear again, which led to his disqualification soon after the round ended.

Not only were Tyson’s actions bizarre, they marked the exact point in which Tyson became a punchline instead of the most feared man in the world. Besides being a fallen icon in the eyes of the public, Tyson was also forced to pay $3 million plus legal fees and even temporarily had his boxing license revoked. Pretty bad day at the office for Iron Mike, whose personal life was in turmoil for a good while after the incident.

These days, however, Mike seems to have a much clearer head on his shoulders, still trying to make sense of the whirlwind that was his life in the ’80s and ’90s.

NBA Referee Scandal: Tim Donaghy, 2007 People were (kind of) shocked when it was revealed that NBA referees were allegedly controlling the point spread of the game for the sake of winning bets they had been placing and, from the ashes, Tim Donaghy emerged as the quintessential fall guy.

While Donaghy insists this is far more commonplace than we would expect, he was the bad apple who got caught falling with the wrong crowd and paid the price for it. In a literal way, he paid about $530,000; in a figurative way, he was essentially excommunicated from the sport he made a career out of fixing. His tell-all book was never published, after the NBA threatened legal action if it ever saw the light of day.

Someday, though, enough time will have passed for the book to come out and people to just not care that much, and when it does, it will be awesome.

Brian Bogart

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www.TheStageOnSixth.com UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

The

poor

college student’s rocking vacation UWeekly’s guide to free music festivals during Spring Break

Yep, Spring Break is coming up and for those staying in Austin we should expect worse traffic than usual and lots of out-of-towners, because Spring Break in Austin also means South by Southwest (SXSW)! So if you’re new to Austin or had your head in a book for the past couple of weeks, now is the time to start planning your upcoming week. But unless you have an extra $1000 laying around for an official SXSW badge, here’s UWeekly’s guide to some free, unaffiliated music festivals also going on during the week. That’s right, FREE. But remember to RSVP and show up early and with an open mind.

Red Gorilla Music Festival

Texas Rockfest

When: March 14 through March 18 Where: Various venues on 6th St Who’s playing: So far Alien Ant Farm is the only band announced Why you should go: This year’s lineup hasn’t been released yet, but every year this festival brings some of the best up-and-coming bands as well as familiar names to Sixth Street for music fans to enjoy for free. Some of the past performers include Andrew WK, Cage the Elephant, Landon Pigg, AutoVaughn and Family Force 5.

RSVP: No RSVP required

When: March 13 through 17 from 11 AM lasting throughout the night Where: Tiniest Bar in Texas, 817 W 5th St; Blue Moon Rock & Blues, 422 E 6th St; TRF Outdoor Stage, 7th and Neches Who’s playing: Over 100 bands including Art vs.

Industry, Vallejo, Paperthreat and Casey McPherson Why you should go: This week-long festival features a lot of the heavy end of the rock spectrum. Some of the bands on the lineup aren’t as familiar as the other shows going on, but wouldn’t you rather discover these bands

Great music in unexpected places Keeping up with the city slogan of “Keep Austin Weird,” it’s not unusual for music lovers to stumble into a show in the strangest places around town for free. The following are some of the weirdest places we’ve noticed bands playing during Spring Break in the past.

Bridges

The Lamar pedestrian bridge isn’t just for walking across. During the week (and a few other occasions) this foot bridge turns into a dance floor where bands and DJs pump out the tunes.

Hey, if they didn’t want us to party there, there wouldn’t be outlets to plug in the equipment.

Barbershops

Get a haircut and discover a new band all at the same time. Venue size isn’t a factor for some bands and barbershops come in many shapes and sizes. Bands can be seen performing at tiny mom-

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February 29, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

and-pop barbershops to larger places like Birds Barbershop. But it shouldn’t be a surprise that they do get filled up pretty quickly.

Laundromats

Instead of waiting impatiently for that rinse cycle to finally finish, people can see some bands perform.

Music fans will find at rundown laundromats throughout town gritty, raw performances by bands. Also, some of the best expressions come from the people

now and get your snob on when everybody else starts talking about them?

RSVP: No RSVP required

Mess With Texas Party

When: March 15 through 17 from 12 PM to 6 PM Where: 1100 E 5th Street Who’s playing: Built to Spill, Titus Andronicus, We Were Promised Jetpacks, Cloud Nothings, Cults, Deerhoof, Crystal Antlers, The Young and Fat Tony Why you should go: Transmission Entertainment always brings a great show to Austin on any given night as well as Fun Fun Fun Fest, and this party is no exception. Plus, who knows who they’ll bring out as the special guest this year?

RSVP: mwtxparty.com

The Future of Music Showcase

them all in two shows for free.

RSVP: do512.com/EyeintheSky

Peelander-Fest

When: March 16 and 17 from 12 PM to 2 AM Where: Shiner’s Saloon, 422 Congress Ave, Suite D Who’s playing: Over 25 bands including Driver Friendly, Wild Child, Holy Fiction, The Dalles, The Couch, Sour Soul, Zeale, Zlam Dunk, The Tontons and SORNE Why you should go: While there are a lot of amazing bands performing during the week from around the globe, Eye in the Sky Collective has put together two days of music with some of the best homegrown talent. Sure, you could catch any of these bands in the other 364 days of the year, but this is a good opportunity to catch

When: March 17 from 12 PM to 7 PM Where: The Grackle, 1700 E 6th St Who’s playing: Lagitagida, Ken South Rock, Black Cock, Gagakirise, Child Bite, MC Frontalot, Birthday Suits, Math The Band, Electric Eel Shock, High Tension Wires, Foot Patrol and Peelander-Z. Why you should go: If you’ve never seen Peelander-Z perform live you are missing out on one of the strangest yet wildly entertaining shows you’ll ever see. In the past, shows have featured Power Ranger and animal costumes, human bowling and other stunts. The Japanese punk band will headline the festival

who walk in not expecting a band jamming next to the washer they intended to use.

bands perform. Parking garages also provide great acoustics.

Houses

Middle of the street

House parties take on a whole new meaning with these type of shows. Bands will flock to homes of relatives, friends and even strangers to showcase their musical talents, and, unlike the other 51 weeks of the year, the neighbors (in most cases) won’t complain. Just don’t relieve yourself in someone’s bushes.

Parking garages

Last year, we found that parking garages were wildly popular with people even scaling an outer fence to see

While you’re walking to your next show on Sixth Street or Congress Avenue, you are bound to run into several bands performing for tips. Some just take a seat on a curb and some are bold enough to play in the middle of the street. Just make sure to get out of the way when you see a marching band march through downtown Austin.

Karissa Rodriguez and Sarah Vasquez

The Big One 2012 When: March 17 from 12 PM to 12 AM Where: The Belmont, 305 W 6th St Who’s playing: Dead Confederate, The Features, Guadalupe Plata, Chali 2na, Cuckoo Chaos, The Brightlight Social Hour, Fort Lean, Kids These Days, Gangstagrass, Nobody Beats the Drum, plus additional acts and a secret special guest to be announced.

Why you should go: Presented by Do512 and Shiner, The Big One 2012 is billed with explosive acts that are sure to keep you on your feet, dancing and singing along. Plus, there will be complimentary drinks from Shiner Beer, Deep Eddy Vodka, Jack Daniels Photo: Danny Garcia and Southern Comfort. following 20-minute sets by 11 unique rock, RSVP: do512.com/event/763998 hip-hop and electric bands.

RSVP: on.fb.me/At8OH7 When: March 10 and March 15 Where: On March 10 at ND, 501 Brushy St; on When: March 13 through 17 starting at 8 PM March 15 at East Side Showroom, 1100 E 6th St on the 13th and 1 PM on the following days, Who’s playing: Diplo, A-Trak, ?uestlove, Flying lasting throughout the night.

Lotus and more.

Where: 504 Trinity St Why you should go: Looking for great DJ sets to Who’s playing: Over 40 performers including enjoy during the week? Look no further than Chiddy Bang, Mike Snow, Madeon, Waaves, Turntable.fm’s party where the winner of the Neon Indian, Dale Earndhart Jr. Jr., Miniature music sharing social media website’s Tigers, Best Coast, White Rabbits and more.

March 5-7 DJ battle will be announced.

Why you should go: Hosted by music blog RSVP: No RSVP needed aggregator Hype Machine, Hype Hotel Karissa Rodriguez and Sarah Vasquez promises to showcase some of the biggest upcoming and popular names in the music industry today. This festival promises to be entertaining no matter what your music taste with its array of acts performing a wide variety of music genres throughout the week.

RSVP: hypem.com/hotel/rsvp

Turntable.fm showcases

Hype Hotel

When you can’t see them all, see only the best Top 10 films to check out during Southby

Now, it might just be my total personal opinion for what makes a bitchin’ film, but there’s really nothing I can do about that. So for this year’s SXSW film preview, you’re just going to have to trust that UWeekly knows what’s best for you. In no particular order, here are the top films that I am anticipating seeing.

The Love Competition

The Stanford University holds the world’s first love competition. First, they get people in a room, put them under an MRI and give them five minutes to love someone as hard as they can. The neurochemical results should be fascinating.

Waiting for Lightning

While I’m not into skateboarding (that was so 1990s), I do recognize good cinematography when I see it. From the makers of Step into Liquid, here comes Waiting for Lightning, a tale of Danny Way, a skateboarder from a broken home who tries to jump the great wall of China.

Written in Ink

Can you teach an old Pole new tricks? Shot in 35mm flim, the documentary follows an old Polish man as he tries to reconnect with his estranged sister. But can you change something that’s been written in ink? From the beautiful cinematography to the compelling sequence, it will be hard to believe this is a documentary and not a scripted feature.

Safety Not Guaranteed

This film, starring Aubrey Plaza and that guy who plays Nick in “New Girl,” is a funny, mystical adventure as together the main characters try to solve the riddles of time.

Girl Model

If you do, indeed, pay close attention to this magazine, you’ll notice that I listed this film in the Calendar. So why am I listing it again? Because I’m just that pumped to see

You’re just going to have to trust that UWeekly knows what’s best for you. it. A documentary about a young girl plucked from obscurity in Siberia to become a model in Tokyo. Follow along as the documentary chronicles one agent’s cynicism and quest to make money of selling prepubescent girls and one young girl’s dreams to remove herself and her family from poverty through the dirty, dark industry of fashion.

Decoding Deepak

Ok, Deepak Chopra gets on my nerves a little (or a lot) Continued on Page 19

UWeeklyATX.com | February 29, 2012

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CHEER UP CHARLIE’S March 13

EMO’S EAST March 15

Cheer Up Charlie & UWEEKLY’s Day Party (3/13)

Photo: Terrance Rushin ‘11

Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun (Atlanta, GA) 9:30PM This four-piece band based out of Atlanta, GA, is light-hearted and dancy. The have relocated to the east coast and have been touring since August of 2009. TTM, TTS has a loyal fanbase that actually funded their album Wildfire via a Kickstarter campaign. Check them out at Cheer Up Charlies, and on iTunes.

The Sour Notes (Austin, TX) 11:00PM Based right here in Austin, the band consists of Jared Boulanger, Chris Page, Amarah Ulghani, Elaine Greer & Andrew Stevens. The Sour Notes were an official showcasing artist at the 2010 SXSW Music Festival, opening for We Are Scientists at the Official SXSW Closing Party. Their album Last Looks was voted one of the top 25 albums of 2011 in the Austin Chronicles Critic Poll.

Photo: mikael kennedy

Brown Bird (Providence, RI) 4:00PM An indie folk hybrid, this trio’s 2011 album, Salt for Salt, is available on CD, Vinyl, MP3, and iTunes.

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Dum Dum Girls (Los Angeles, CA) 6:00 PM Dum Dum Girls are an all-girl, fourpiece, noise pop band from L.A. The girls—Dee-Dee (vocals, guitar), Jules (guitar, vocals), Bambi (bass, vocals) and Sandy(drums)—put out their second fulllength album, Only In Dreams, in Sep. 2011.

Theophilus London (Brooklyn, N.Y) 4:15 PM

Photo: Brandon Scott

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Emo’s East & UWeekly Day Party (3/15)

A genre-mixing American Rapper, London’s first EP, Lovers Holiday, released in Feb. 2011, features TV on the Radio’s Dave Sitek, Sara Quin from Tegan and Sara, Glasser, and Solange Knowles. His full-length debut album, Timez Are Weird These Days, mixed by noted producer Dan Carey, was released by Warner Brothers in July 2011.

Nerds party harder

What to look for at Interactive this year South By Southwest has been known for its fantastic film and music festivals, but the Interactive portion has quickly become a rising star. This has been called the spring break of technology startups, and rightly so. With free food all around, talks about everything from sex to HTML5 advantages and a gaming tournament going on everyday, this is definitely the place to be. You don’t need to be a web developer or computer genius to attend the interactive portion of SXSW, though you will still need an interactive pass.

Before you start anything, you need to plan. Consider making a schedule through austin2012.sched.org and eliminate what events sound the least interesting to you. RSVP for any party that still has an opening. Even if it sounds boring as hell, that may be the party that all the cool kids go to. Everyone is always looking for the hottest party, and maybe it’ll be Chinwag’s Global G & Tea Party on Sunday.

Don’t underestimate. This may be your only chance to be in the same room as Rainn Wilson.

Take advantage of the conferences. The lineup is amazing this year and it’ll be hard to choose just one of the many conferences going on at the same time. Tech nerds will enjoy conferences like “Data is Sexier Than Sex...and

I’ll Prove it” and “Internet Bubble the Sequel: 1999 All Over Again?” If you’re in a startup then you may want to clone yourself to attend the numerous conferences made for you such as “Startup Finances for Dummies.”

If you’re not an uber tech nerd, you can still enjoy conferences like Jeffrey Tambor’s acting workshop. Jeffrey Tambor is known for being George Bluth, Sr. from “Arrested Development” and the father of the bride in The Hangover. If

If you’re not an Über tech nerd, you can still enjoy conferences like Jeffrey Tambor’s acting workshop. you haven’t seen either of these then you’re just a lost cause.

Mentors and meet-ups are essential for anyone looking to network. You could meet a potential investor at a meme meet-up, or find your new sweetheart at the #SXsingle Meet Up. Perhaps you’d rather “pwn some n00bs” at one of the many gamer meet-ups. The mentor sessions involve an experienced new media professional giving career-related advice in

seven minutes or less, perfect for any graduate or newcomer in the tech world.

Don’t miss out on events like “Funny or Die & Caviar present The Super Serious Show.”

Will Ferrell will not be there, but you can catch a bunch of performances from comedians from L.A. and an array of short films. I would also recommend going to “The Cast of Bob’s Burger’s Live.” “Bob’s Burgers” is a hilarious cartoon with a fabulous cast that includes H. Jon Benjamin (“Archer”) and Kristen Schaal (“Flight of the Conchords”). These are highly underrated celebrities.

Oh, did I mention there will be cosplay? Just try not to embarrass yourself by dressing up as Felicia Day’s character from “The Guild” and ask for her autograph later. She’ll probably find you creepy. A cosplay competition will be held by IGN to determine who makes the best video game character in real life, but don’t get your hopes up unless you’ve spent $300 or more on your handmade costume. If it’s not handmade then don’t even bother entering. You’re better off in the bathroom playing Pokemon on your jailbroken iPhone.

Let’s say you didn’t happen to get a pass this year because you don’t work for an awesome company that enjoys culture at its finest. You can still catch a lot of the parties going on around downtown. Austin will be packed with musicians, tech nerds, film junkies, and celebrities. You don’t

Photo:Karissa Rodriguez

always need a pass or a badge to get in to these parties. There’s even a counter event going on called “South by Southeast” that has live music, food, and plenty of free booze. There’s a small price at the door, but I can guarantee you it’s cheaper than one of SXSW’s passes.

Interactive takes place from March 9 to March 13. Most of the events take place at the Austin Convention Center, but the surrounding hotels also host conferences and parties. Just have a Chevy drive you to your next event, as it’s part of their “Catch a Chevy/Drive a Chevy” campaign. Nothing beats a free ride.

Celine Suarez

Continued from films Page 17

with his impractical theories on how to live life “as each day was the first and the last.”

Well, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean, you gotta hand it to him: he’s a praised spiritual guru in an increasingly detached and modernized world. I’m interested to see what his son, who followed daddy around for a year, has to say about him.

Wikileaks: Secrets & Lies Through this political documentary interviewing Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, we’ll hopefully get to the bottom of all this international scandal

Scarlet Road Girl Model (Directors: A. Sabin, David Redmon) Young Russian girls join a modeling agency to seek work in Japan, but get caught up in an unregulated system that reveals an unseemly side of the fashion industry.

This film focuses on Rachel, a sex worker in Australia with a highly focused clientele base: the disabled. Rachel, who not only offers people who are disabled the

opportunity to experience and enjoy sex, also explores their humanity, their need for touch, closeness and connection. A film that’s less about sex, and more about love.

The Maker The beautifully shot film, much in the same vein of The Fantastic Mr. Fox, is sort of animated, sort of not. It’s about this strange creature who sets out to make the most beautiful creation of his life. To find out what that is, you’ll have to go see the film.

The Last Fall This one’s for all you sports buffs out there.

It’s about the drama of NFL sports and what happens to football stars once their stardust runs out. Watch as one star transitions from praised sports hero to regular civilian.

Amanda Chappel UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

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The elite guide to SXSW Our navigation plan for all

the badge-holders out there Yeah, yeah, free shows are awesome, but you’ve got a badge, so why front? Ditch your friends at the house show and enjoy all the free beer you can get. SXSW is your oyster. Here’s a few badgerequired, non-free showcases we find particularly exciting.

Tuesday

Pitchfork Showcase, Mohawk Say what you want about the world’s premiere indie music tastemaker, they put together a pretty mean SXSW showcase every year.

Plucking some of the best acts just on the other side of breaking through, it’ll be the hippest place to be on a Tuesday evening.

Lineup Inside: Light Asylum (Brooklyn, NY), Tycho (San Francisco, CA), Sun Araw (Los Angeles, CA), ScHoolboy Q (Los Angeles, CA), Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire (Brooklyn, NY)

Lineup Wymond Miles (San Francisco, CA), Led Er Est (New York, NY), Amen Dunes (New York, NY), Zola Jesus (Merrill, WI), Psychic Ills (New York, NY), The Men (New York, NY)

Thursday

Mexican Summer, Red 7

Outside: Trust (Toronto, ON), Star Slinger (Manchester, England), Cloud Nothings (Cleveland, OH), Matthew Dear (Brooklyn, NY), Teengirl Fantasy (New York, NY), Bear in Heaven (Brooklyn, NY)

One of the most eclectic labels in the country, Mexican Summer’s projects range from gloomy drone to warbled, reconfigured funk. Make sure you’re at Red 7 if you want to look cool.

Lineup Mike Wexler (Brooklyn, NY), Quilt (Boston, MA), The Fresh & Onlys (San Francisco, CA), Peaking Lights (Madison, WI), Light Asylum (Brooklyn, NY), Oneohtrix Point Never (Brooklyn, NY)

Wednesday

Barsuk, Red Eyed Fly

Metal Sucks, Barbarella patio Arguably the best metal blog on the internet, Metal Sucks are curating a wicked-good showcase of some of the most artistically sound metal acts on the planet. If all this lily-livered indie-rock ain’t doing it for you, your best bet is letting High on Fire hollow out your head in the early AM. Lineup MonstrO (Atlanta, GA), Holy Grail (Los Angeles, CA), Black Tusk (Savannah, GA), Intronaut (Los Angeles, CA), Nachtmystium (Chicago, IL), Darkest Hour (Washington, DC), High On Fire (Oakland, CA)

Sacred Bones, Elysium If you want some harshness without the black-on-black wardrobe and surly attitude, your best bet is the Sacred Bones showcase. A sturdy, Brooklyn-based label, their roster teeters on the murky dark without going overboard.

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March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Barsuk, the longtime indie-rock imprint, are the guys responsible for bringing the world Death Cab for Cutie’s The Photo Album. Since then they’ve remained one of the most underappreciated labels in modern perception. OG status abound if you make it to their showcase.

Lineup Say Hi (Seattle, WA), Yellow Ostrich (Brooklyn, NY), Ramona Falls (Portland, OR), Laura Gibson (Portland, OR), Nada Surf (Brooklyn, NY), Cymbals Eat Guitars (Staten Island, NY), Maps & Atlases (Chicago, IL)

Friday

Japan Nite, Elysium Around this part of the week you’ll be looking for something a little different than the usual indierock chaff, and you’re in luck! The good folks at Elysium put together a number of acts imported straight out of the land of the rising sun.

Lineup

Photo: Tweety Frankfurt

The Rubies (from the Emeralds) (Yokohama, Japan), The Akabane Vulgars on Strong Bypass (Tokyo, Japan), Kao=S (Kamirenjaku, Japan), NOKIES! (Minamihorie, Japan), Saito Johnny (Tokyo, Japan), ZZZ’s (Kobe, Japan), Vampillia (Tenjinmachi, Japan)

Saturday Stay home, open a beer, and relax. Most of the big acts have already gone home. You deserve the break, you SXSW warrior, you.

Luke Winkie

UWeekly recommended artists to check out this week Even for Austinites familiar with SXSW protocol, it’s difficult to compile that perfect list of bands you want to see. Luckily for you, this list will help you get through festival with an acquired taste ranging from hardcore punk, to hipster hip-hop. Don’t forget to pick up some free Redbull and cigarettes throughout downtown to replenish your adrenaline; you’re going to need it.

Trash Talk

ASAP Rocky

The Dream

These guys are playing a handful of shows, including The Pitchfork Day Party.

Front-flips offstage, moshpits from the bowels of punk hell and absolute anarchy in Austin? Count me in!

ASAP Rocky, better known as that “Pretty Mothafucka,” will definitely appeal to Austin’s weed-smoking scene, considering the rapper only indulges in the best strains of weed (purple swag, anyone?).

Grab your significant other, hold them tight, and let The Dream take you on a voyage of love.

John Mayer You know you’ve been dying to hear “Your Body is a Wonderland” live ever since it was released.

Danny Brown Danny Brown is like the ugly duckling, but, if you like your rappers with an emo haircut, a missing front tooth but laugh-out-loud wordplay, Danny Brown is your man.

Grimes This Canadian-born princess of synth-pop will dazzle you with her arsenal of vocal loops and Mariah Carey-like vocal delivery.

Plus, she absolutely loves Outkast. You know an artist is worth checking out when one of their favorite albums is Stankonia.

Fiona Apple The singer-songwriter is back, and she seems better than ever. It’s been a long time coming, Fiona, but better late than never.

The Shins No list would be complete without these guys. For most of us, The Shins were our introduction to indie rock; without them, we wouldn’t have Garden State. Well, these guys are rocking Auditorium Shores, and it’s free. Time to walk down memory lane.

Eli Watson

celine suarez

South by Southwest’s Interactive may be famous for it’s technological wonders, but many forget about the video game portion. Gamers may be afraid that there isn’t a good selection of talks and parties for them, but I can assure you that this year your ticket is well worth the money you’ve paid. This year there are tons of incredible talks to attend that range from casual gaming to the future of gaming. There will also be plenty of events and competitions for gamers. Here are several things to look for.

Conferences “Cloudy With a Chance of Gaming” If you’ve ever been interested in Cloud gaming, this is the talk to go to. Cloud gaming might be the future, because all it requires is a reliable internet connection. You probably also need a decent computer with a good graphics card, but speakers like Allan Leinwand and Ari Levy insist that this type of gaming eliminates many costs and could be better for those of us who are on a college budget. This type of gaming also allows for developers to continue to build on the game while tracking the gamer’s achievements.

Bridge the Gap Between Casual vs Hardcore Games Recently, there’s been a huge divide between casual gamers and hardcore gamers. A rise of Facebook games from Zynga has swept the nation. We all have that friend who wants us to help raise their cow in Farmville. Speakers Jack Buser and Scott Rohde will discuss how PlayStation is trying to bridge the gap by using their different consoles. Casual games will

have more hardcore elements and vice-versa. I thought this would be interesting because you can’t really make hardcore games like Call of Duty more casual. That’d be like putting bunny ears on a lion. It just doesn’t work.

Rethinking Gaming Addiction in Psychotherapy For years, gaming has been thought of as a bad habit. In this conference, Mike Langlois sets out to prove the actual benefits of gaming and how it can actually contribute to a better life.

Unfortunately, the world of psychology sees gaming and technology as more of an addiction than a therapeutic device. When used properly, gaming can actually reduce stress and has been shown to reduce Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in veterans. Next time your mother tells you to stop playing video games, tell her to stop interfering with your therapy.

Meet ups I’m a Gamer Meet up This is probably the most important meet up you’ll want to attend. For an hour, you

make sure you get there early.

These tournaments are hosted by IGN, and the best of the best come to compete in games like Street Fighter X Tekken, League of Legends and StarCraft II. Professional gamers (yes, that profession exists) have even been flown in from around the world especially for these tournaments. If you want to see some amazing talent, you have to check out these guys. I promise you it will destroy your ego.

Sunday is the last day of the Arcade Stage. can network with other gamers and find out Although no tournaments will be scheduled, what really goes on in the industry. If you panel sessions will be held from famous desire to become a video game journalist, developers like Bioware and Activision. If this would be the best opportunity to sneak you’re a fan of Dragon Age, then you’ll want to check out the animated feature taken from your way into a career. their newest game, Dragon Age: Dawn of the Girl Geek Brunch Seeker. Bioware will be there to answer all your Now this is a meet up you can attend if you questions about Star Wars: The Old Republic want some pancakes. You can still and will tell you what to look forward get in if you’re a male, but to in the future. Activision will you need a female invite. explain how Call of Duty Elite This is an RSVP, so you was developed and will also Next time your must do it before disclose its future plans for mother tells you March 9th. You can the game. always try and sneak There’s also a cosplay to stop playing video in, but according competition going on games, tell her to stop to Facebook there’s Friday through Sunday at various times. As already more than a interfering with mentioned in another thousand people going. your therapy. article, you need to make This brunch will allow your costume from scratch females in the tech world and make it look as authentic as to meet up and discuss their possible. This may not be Comic-Con, experiences so far. There’s bound to be a few female gamers and it’s another but the gamers will still be just as critical on your costumes. The competition is free to great way to network. enter and prizes will be handed out by IGN. SXSW Screenburn Arcade Stage As with any conference or event, make sure Presented by IGN Pro League to get there early to get the best possible seats.

So maybe you’re not interested in conferences or You don’t want to miss out on these events networking. This event right here is what makes because you were too late to even get in line. the gaming portion of Interactive so exciting. Don’t forget to grab a beer or two, for gaming With a gaming tournament going on Friday, is always better with booze.

Saturday, and Sunday, you definitely want to Celine Suarez UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

21

Highway to the danger zone Navigating gay bars safely With SXSW descending upon our town, knowledge not to leave your drink unattended we will be flooded with all kinds of creeps lest you want to be rufied, you’d be surprised coming out of the wood works. People will how often it still happens. If someone offers to be flying in from all over the world buy you a drink, follow them to a bar. to see what Austin has to offer.

Don’t drink a cocktail that’s just What does that mean for handed to you, and as gross us queers? More chances as it sounds, take your Although gay bars to see and be seen and drink with you to the are a great way to start more chances to be bathroom. (Tip: When put in danger. using the restroom, publicly expressing your Gay bars are a place a couple of hand homosexuality, it’s also a frequent outing locale towels or a bunch of for new and old queers rolled-up toilet paper hotbed of losers, abusers alike. They’re like the on the surface you place and diseases. headquarters for queers your drink. This will keep it all across the nation. Gay free of germs and of drugs). bars are also the place where Sex in public new queers go to find their voice, their crowd, their community, but sometimes they find If you’re having sex at a gay bar, whether it’s a trouble instead. Although gay bars are a great way quick handjob in the darkly-lit corner, just the to start publicly expressing your homosexuality, tip in the bathroom stall or even in the back of it’s also a hotbed of losers, abusers, and diseases. your car, chances are you just met the person Not to mention that they are an easy target for you’re fucking. Now, does this really sound like a smart thing to do? homophobic assholes looking for a fight.

I know. I get it. You’re crazy horny, and you’re So as we enjoy all this town has to offer during this week of excitement, with or without a badge, trolling. But just because you might be dealing pass or wristband, we still have to keep our wits with years of repressed sexual frustration about us. Here are a few things to look out for and doesn’t mean that it’s worth putting your life and health in jeopardy. There’s no other way to a few things to avoid when hitting up gay clubs. put this: Don’t have sex with someone you just Drugs, drugs everywhere met, especially at a gay bar.

Homosexuals have enough stereotypes to fend off without adding to them. So let’s not Posers be cliche and pop a couple tabs of ecstasy the Sadly enough, there are a ton of people who moment you walk in. The last thing you want pretend to be gay when they’re not. While the to be doing is pounding drinks and tweaking reasons for this vary from person to person, out. That makes you a prime target for all of it still happens. You hear of stories all the time the pervs and creeps out there looking for an about how men pose as gay, lure an actual gay easy piece to take home. Plus, in an altered man to a secluded place and then attack them, state, you might not make the best decisions usually with a gang of his homophobic (and secretly homo) buddies. You don’t want this to regarding whom you hang with for the night.

This also applies to ladies but in a different be you. Trust your gut when you meet someone.

Girls, there are two main dangers that you way. Women especially have to be on the lookout for being drugged. While it’s common have to watch out for when having a good time

22

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Rush Limbaugh continues to lose sponsors over Sandra Fluke remarks Rush Limbaugh, you fucked up. The conservative talk show host has had to reevaluate his purpose in life after targeting Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke for her statements on birth control policy. Limbaugh went so far as to call the student a “slut,” which multiple sponsors, including Quicken Loans, Citrix Systems and LegalZoom, did not agree with. What Limbaugh’s situation has taught us is this: It’s a fluke to call someone a slut, unless there is unanimity in that said person being one.

Chris Brown and Rihanna collaborate on song; Nicki Minaj’s “Stupid Hoe” becomes Rihanna’s theme song It came as a surprise to everyone—mainly to those who sided with Rihanna in her time of need following the events of her altercation with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown—when the “Rude Boy” singer collaborated with Brown on her latest song, “Birthday Cake.” Most fans are completely divided: Paris Hilton supported the collaboration, stating on her Twitter, “Music heals! It really does!” while

down on 4th St, and those are men who pretend to be gay and women who pretend to be gay.

Straight men go into gay clubs because they think it will help them score. Women are much more likely to pay attention to and dance with a guy she thinks is gay. Once he’s gained your trust, you might find him making moves that hetero guys will make.

That’s when you know you’ve been duped. If a guy has to lie just to get you to pay attention to him, chances are he won’t be honest about other things, like whether or not he’s ever had STDs. Secondly, there are girls who pretend to be gay. They’re actually straight. One of the main reasons straight girls go to gay clubs is to get attention, both from guys and from girls. You can only imagine how bad it burns to flirt with a girl just to find out she’s straight. The type of bitch that pulls shit like this doesn’t care about you and never will. They only care about themselves, and all they care about is feeling like the Queen

hip-hop mogul Jay-Z has been quoted as being “deeply disappointed” in Rihanna, and “disgusted” by what Chris did to her. Oh well, at least “Birthday Cake” will be a hit.

Jack White’s SNL performance reassures us that rock isn’t dead We needed Jack White’s performance on SNL. The ex-White Stripes frontman (and just about every other garage-rock blues group in existence) dazzled viewers with two new songs from his forthcoming solo album, Blunderbuss.

“Sixteen Saltines,” one of the songs performed, is a clear indication that White’s return will be well-received, featuring the guitarist’s powerful sound and distinguishable vocal delivery. Welcome back, Jack White; oh, and you, too, Lindsay Lohan.

Eli Watson

Bee for the night. But you know what? Fuck ’em.

Wolf pack Your mom was right: safety in numbers. It is of the utmost importance not to venture into this hot bed of sexual lunacy (aka gay bars) alone. You should always go with at least one other person you know and trust, not just some dipshit you kind of know and who will ditch you the second the chance to score comes along.

Make sure that the group you go with sticks together and leaves together. Make sure to have everyone’s number if you don’t already and remember where you parked! Also, it’s good to set some ground rules before entering, like: “If they are wearing an under 21 wristband, don’t let me dance with them” or “Stop me after my third drink.” Little safety features like that will make you and your friends closer and keep you all safe. Happy hunting!

Amanda Chappel

guez Photos:Karissa Rodri

24

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

Photos: Michael

Huereque

zlam dunk@stubb’s

zlam dunk@stubb’s

frock on glitz & glam HH Complementary hair & makeup by Waterstone Salon

zlam dunk@stubb’s

frock on glitz & glam HH Weekly deals on Frock On’s cool vintage clothes UWeeklyATX.com | March 7. 2012

25

Super Crossword

Crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

26

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

strictly speaking

Clue: w EQUALS h

Sudoku

zlam dunk

new ep sparks memories

Upcoming Zlam Dunk Shows Mar 15: Shiner’s Saloon & Mellow Mushroom Mar 16: The Grackle & Shiner’s Saloon

The members of Zlam Dunk formed in a dorm basement when they were college students at Texas State University in San Marcos (Texas State). Now the majority of the members live in Austin and have been going strong ever since.

They recently had a show on March 2 celebrating the pre-release of their latest EP Balcones. Zlam Dunk’s guitarist Brett Thorne and drummer Daniel Vega chatted with UWeekly about the apartment complex behind the EP’s name, what exactly is a pre-release, and what happens when you mix alcohol and hatchets.

How did the CD release go?

Brett Thorne: It was awesome. I think it was pretty much everything we hoped it would be. A vinyl prerelease is what we’re calling it.

What do you mean by pre-release?

BT: We had a sign-up sheet where people could sign up to pre-order the vinyl and then we’re going to mail it to them when the vinyls actually come in. We also had free download cards for everybody, so everybody pretty much got a free digital copy of the album. The people who really wanted one pre-ordered the vinyl.

When is the album going to come out?

BT: I think we’re talking May 2 is going to be the digital release where we put it up for sale on Bandcamp. Then I’m not sure when the vinyls are actually going to be here. Like, two weeks or something?

Daniel Vega: Yeah, two weeks.

So after South by Southwest (SXSW)?

BT: Maybe right in the middle of SXSW, I think. My money would be on them getting here in the middle of SXSW.

If anybody wants to pre-order it now, how do they do it?

DV: Just talk to us. Email us or find us on Facebook. We’re pretty good at responding to a lot of things.

So tell me about this EP. I know it’s called Balcones which was an apartment complex at Texas State.

What that a home base for Zlam’s early days? Why that name?

BT: Yeah, that’s exactly what it was. I think at one point all of us lived there for at least a year.

DV: We were all there. There was one apartment that, at one point, four members lived in at different times. There’s actually a room that Taylor lived in, I lived in, then Ross lived

in. But yeah, we all lived in the apartment complex.

BT: Charlie was there. He was there for two years. We all lived in the apartment complex and we swiped the name, I guess, but it was definitely important as a home base for us. A lot of growth.

“Anytime you mix hatchets and alcohol, the results are going to be bad in a really awful way.”

What made that place so special to Zlam?

Did you write songs there? Have shows?

DV: Well, we did write songs there. I think for a lot of us, it was the first place we lived after the dorms or it was the first place we lived with other people. With that age, there’s always a lot of growth as individuals and then being so close to each other as a band. It wasn’t necessarily that we wrote all the time there or played. We played maybe one show there, but it was also that we were always around each other. It was like a two-year summer camp, but we’d write songs and do everything near each other.

BT: Which I think that is something that is partly a theme on the album. And community, I guess. I think that place is just really important for all of us, because we all lived there. We all learned a lot from each other while we were living there.

Now the apartment complex is gone.

How did you take it? Because you weren’t living in San Marcos when that happened, right? You were in Austin then?

DV: Some of us were in Austin. Taylor was the last member there. He was actually the one that was living

Photo: Danny Garcia

there at the time, but he got evicted or kicked out. That’s why we had that one last show where we destroyed everything because we could. We had hatchets and we were hacking the wall and spray painting. We took out the kitchen. We took out cabinets and then a friend showed up with an axe and went to town.

Did they know you were doing this or did you just show up and said fuck it, let’s do it?

BT: Yeah, I think it was a planned thing. We called it the “Balcones Destruction Party” or something like that.

We knew going in, but I think it even got a little more ridiculous than we thought it would.

DV: Yeah, in a way, I don’t know why we didn’t think a destruction party would get so out of hand, but then it did. Any time you mix hatchets and alcohol, the results are going to be bad in a really awful way.

I noticed on the EP, one of your older songs, “Patrick,” is on there. What made you bring that out? Are there any older songs on this EP as well?

BT: That’s the only older one. The rest of them are brand new for anybody who’s ever seen us before. I don’t know how long we’ve been playing it, but it had been around for a while. We got a little more comfortable playing it and playing it at pretty much every show we ever played for those three years since we first recorded it. We kind of changed it up a little bit, switched some parts, just embellished some parts a little more. I think when we were choosing the track listing for the album, we thought we would give it another go around because we changed it so much.

Sarah Vasquez UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

27

Wednesday

thursday

The Life Aquatic Dinner

Thursday Social Ride

Rodeo Austin

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

@ Fiesta Gardens, 2101 Bergman Ave

@ Travis County Exp Center, 9100 Decker Lake Rd

As your ears might be assaulted with every sound that has been heard since the beginning of time next week, you will need to let your other senses take in some action beforehand. No better way to do that than with dinner and a movie. In their tradition of total sensory engagement, the Alamo Drafthouse will be hosting a Life Aquatic dinner. Replete with aquatic cuisine and red hats for everyone, you will no doubt feel that you are a part of the Belefonte and Team Zissou itself.

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

The top events & shows in Austin this week Will bass 28

friday

Before you gorge yourself on beer, free food, and vomit, you might want to burn off some calories to make room for all of the future ones that you are about to take on. You can imagine yourself as a time-travelling dieter: The future is in your hands! Anyways, come out to the Thursday Night Social Ride to do just that while rubbing sweaty thighs with some of Austin’s fiercest cyclists. Even better, you can be a time-travelling money saver as this event will save some of the money you will no doubt spend on getting yourself out of jail next week.

Saddle up cowboys/girls. Grease up those spurs, practice those lasso skills on passing motorcyclists, and test your branding skills on your younger sibling. Time to enjoy the finer things in life, like watching men and women wrestle, ride, and tie up giant animals, ride unsafe rides till you vomit, and listen to some good ol’ country music. A great way to get away from all the city slickers and carpetbaggers that will be storming Austin on this weekend, Austin rodeo is the place to cool your heels while getting drunk and eating BBQ. Tickets: www.rodeoaustin.com

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Weird Wednesday: Emma Mae

DJ Scorpio

Cowboy Breakfast

Beauty Bar, 617 E 7th

Auditorium Shores, Lady Bird Lake

Matt Bearden (Comedy)

SXSW Startup Crawl

The Relatives

Omni Downtown, 700 San Jacinto

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research Blvd Whole Foods, 601 N Lamar

Lomography Gallery Store (Exhibition Opening)

Coma in Algiers

Lomography, 912 Congress

Beerland, 711 Red River

So Percussion

Bedpost Confessions (Spoken Word)

Shovels and Rope

29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St

Cactus Cafe, 2247 Guadalupe

Kinky Machine

MFA Dance Concerts

SXSW Screen Burn Arcade

Rawsome Meal Preparations McCullough Theatre, 3200 East Campus Dr Sahara Lounge, 1413 Weberville Rd

B. Iden Payne Theatre, 2500 Robert Dedman Dr

Palmer Events Center, 900 Barton Springs Rd

March 7, 2012 | UWeeklyATX.com

T R E NYDETY CLASSY

OPEN 7

AFFORDABLE ITALIAN CLOTHING

DAYS A

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saturday

sunday

monday

Enchanted Rock @ Enchanted Rock, Fredericksburg, TX

If you are still in town and you don’t like crowds, flee to the hills of west Texas and check out the beautiful Enchanted Rock state park: camping, hiking, rock climbing, and—thank Jesus—no music.

►►Also Worthy

Zeale @ Lambert’s, 401 W 2nd

Outside of the killer bee infestation (seriously, someone has got to do something about that), hip-hop is probably one of the least popular of Austin exports. That is about to change with the likes of Zeale. This dude brings some heavy material to the mic without forgetting how to have a good time. Move over Kanye, someone is taking over the throne. In addition to some stellar hip-hop, you can enjoy some gourmet BBQ while you’re gettin’ down with O.P.P.

Hoop Church @ Hot Mama’s Cafe, 2401 E 6th

Kneel and supplicate before it. Cast all of your hopes, dreams, and tribulations into its mighty mouth. Now place it around your waist and move in an elliptical motion. Feel its transcendental majesty spread into your hips and beyond. Let yourself and everything around you go as the plastic tubing dances around you, just like the different moons of the firmament will do until eternity decides to end. Receive the communion of the hoop, then go inside and get a sandwich.

Student Startup Madness

Maria Maria La Cantina, 415 Colorado

SXSW Trade Show

Austin Convention Center, 500 E Cesar Chavez

Burger City Kickoff

The Grand, 4631 Airport Blvd

tuesday

PanacheSXSWPreviewParty

Tickets: At the door

@ Scoot Inn, 1308 E 4th

The Oh Sees and Turbo Fruits are just some of the stellar bands that will be doing their thing at this pre-party. Pre-game before the post-game starts.

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Suicide Girls SXSW Party

Chess in the Square

Foodspotting Street Food Fest

Video Projections in Palm Park Swimming Pool

►►Also Worthy

The Bo-Keys

SXSW Eco Startup Showcase

High on Fire (Free)

Shivery Shakes

Escapes XIII (All Day Free Show)

White Denim (Free, must R.S.V.P)

Octopus Project (Free, must R.S.V.P)

Cinema East SXSW Party (Free)

The Mole People (Free)

Hotel Vegas, 1500 E 6th

Parking Lot, 2nd and Congress

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress ND, 501 Brushy St

Swan Dive, 615 Red River

Brush Park, 409 E 5th Palm Park, 601 E 3rd

Lanai, 4222 S Congress Club 1808, 1808 E 12th

Cheer Up Charlie’s, 1104 E 6th

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside Mohawk, 912 Red River

Lomography Store, 912 S Congress

UWeeklyATX.com | March 7, 2012

29

►►Pluckers

►►Friends

2222 Rio Grande

208 E 6th

Mother Plucker Mugs

$2 Vodka Bombs

►►Sapphire

►►The Library

411 E 6th

407 E 6th

$2 You Holla!

$1 Domestics, Wells $2 Import Bottles

►►Fuel

417 E 6th

$1 Wells, $2 Domestics, $3 Any Bombs

$1 Schnapps

►►Rooftop Bar

►►Tiniest Bar in Texas

2716 Guadalupe

817 W 5th

$4 Long Island Teas

$1 Bud Light and Bud

►►Cain and Abel’s

►►Trudy’s

2313 Rio Grande

409 W 30th

$3.50 bombs

$4.50 Ritas

►►Cuatros

►►Mooseknuckle Pub

1004 W 24th

406 E 6th

$7 pitchers, $2.50 wells, $1 off all bottled beers

$2 Wells/Domestics til 11 PM

►►Agave

Cover 3

►►Touche

607 Trinity

►►Lavaca St. Bar

2700 W Anderson Ln # 202 What’s better than a bloody mary? How about the ability to make your own bloody mary? Which is exactly what Cover 3 offers with its famed Bloody Mary Bar where they tirelessly work to make you a bloody to your exact specifications.

While, admittedly, I’m not the biggest fan of bloody marys (they’re more or less a glorified excuse to drink before noon in this humble writer’s opinion), there’s plenty more Cover 3 offers, like about a bajillion TV sets and a burger that many claim is the best in Austin.

While the last part of that sentence can apply to many local watering holes that specialize in greasy food, Cover 3 is a step higher in class than most sports bars you’re probably used to. But that’s never a bad thing. Seeing as how the bar is located right next to the Alamo Drafthouse Village, too, it’s the great place to begin or end any date night you may be having.

Brian Bogart

►►Touche

607 Trinity

405 Lavaca

417 E 6th

.50¢ wells, $2 any beers, $3 mixed shots, $3 bombs

Big Beer Mondays, $6 25oz.

$1 schnapps

►►Pure

►►Bikini’s Sports Bar & Grill

►►Maggie Mae’s

419 E 6th

6901 I-35

323 E 6th

.25¢ wells all night

$4 Big Daddy Drafts

$2 Wells

►►The Ginger Man

►►Blind Pig

►►Cuatros

301 Lavaca

317 E 6th

1004 W 24th

Service Industry Night

$2.50 Wells/Domestics

$2 Tecates and Modelo Esp, $5 Deer and Beer

COMING SOON THURSDAYS

for more details visit: UWEEKLYAUSTIN.com