August 24, 2011

ISSue 31 www.uweeklyauStIn.coM aug 24, 2011 the Independent VoIce of ut auStIn

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NEW VACCINATION LAWS HIT HOME AT UT UWEEKLY AND GO LOCAL TEAM Up GIrLS TAKE OVEr SLACKEr 2011 UWEEKLY SITS DOWN WITH THE GIrLS OF VANITY THEFT

photo:juliepatterson

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GrEETINGS FrESHMEN, burnouts, hippies, divorcees going through mid-life crises, and ne’er-do-wells of all stripes. welcome to this state’s capitol. the late august mass migration into austin is in full swing. hipster welcome to austin. Feel free to assimilate into any of the following olD-timers social species, or you can decide that they’re all stupid (in which case pLUMAGE: “Keep Austin Weird” t-shirts, pLUMAGE: Whatever used to be cool, glasses pearl-snap dress shirts, age-inappropriate with plain glass in them, your sister’s jeans, you can just assume you’re a hipster and act accordingly).

Frat guy/sorority girl pLUMAGE: T-shirts from Tyler’s, denim and cowboy boots (aka game day formal), burnt orange everything.

ENVIrONMENT: No further than a 5-mile radius from UT/west campus area, except for downtown on the weekends.

NOTES: While an easy source of sex/drugs/ alcohol, the frat guy/sorority girl is unpredictable and unreliable as they will do anything to climb the ladder of their own social circle, and are known to become more fat and unattractive the longer they stay in town.

hippies pLUMAGE: Birkenstocks, hemp, dreadlocks, low-quality hand-stitched clothing.

ENVIrONMENT: Co-ops, the Greenbelt, Hippie Hollow (duh), anywhere kombucha is sold, head shops, outdoor music festivals.

NOTES: New residents to Austin often go through a hippie “phase” in which they

spend several months smoking copious amounts of weed and listening to Spiritualized. The only surefire way to pick out a tried and true hippie is to make like Toucan Sam and follow your nose until you recognize the scent of failure and patchouli oil.

metal DuDe pLUMAGE: Metal t-shirts, the only people with long hair and all black clothing in a 108-degree summer.

ENVIrONMENT: Headhunter’s, Red 7, any house party they’ll be the biggest guy at, metal shows in bigger cities.

NOTES: Metal dudes are fun to party with, but can be wildly unpredictable. If you don’t monitor his drinking, there’s no telling when he can swing from an affable Andrew WK stand-in to Ozzy Osbourne-esque levels of drunken raging. If a metal dude in your vicinity looks like he’s on the verge of a freakout, do not, under any circumstances, play any Metallica recorded after 1989.

hair dye, lingerie (only if you’re Leslie) ENVIrONMENT: Barton Springs, The Drag, Scholz Bier Garten, The Broken Spoke NOTES: The old-timer can often be found trying to appear young in a city that imports thousands of eighteen-yearolds every August while simultaneously complaining any time anything in Austin changes. Lightrail, new parking meter policies, and anything on the drag closing are all sure-fire ways to rile the old-timer.

yuppie transplant pLUMAGE: Khakis, dress shirts, flip flops and crisp UT gear in an attempt to appear local.

ENVIrONMENT: Farmer’s market, Ikea, Westlake, San Marcos, other suburbs that keep them far away from the scum of campus life.

NOTES: The mortal enemy of the old-timer, the Yuppie Transplant can be found wandering wide-eyed through the streets of Austin on the weekend and loudly proclaiming their love of their hip new city to all that will listen.

By night, they scuttle back to the ’burbs and work at Dell until they die.

patchy-ass beards.

ENVIrONMENT: Nomadic in nature, the hipster can usually be observed gradually pushing further east down Sixth Street.

NOTES: A master chameleon, the hipster can camouflage itself at any time and assume the form and identity of other local fauna.

The easiest way to spot one in the wild is by the sneering disdain perpetually plastered on the hipster’s face. Other tell-tale signs of hipsterdom include fixed gear bicycles, loudly complaining of poverty despite an arts degree from an expensive school and/or a trust fund, and countless forms of obscure media that have never been opened or consumed. Important: an Austin hipster will never, under any circumstances, use a kindle.

John JarzeMsKY

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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FOr SOME, the beginning of the fall semester is a lot like new Year’s. You have all-new professors, all-new supplies, and a renewed sense of devotion to finishing your degree and moving on with your life. there is endless material available for the highly-motivated academics on how to build off the new semester momentum and reach for the stars. good luck organizing your new study groups, and god bless you. then there are the rest of you. either this isn’t your first rodeo (grad students), or you are just a hyper-self-aware undergrad who knows that sometimes you need a beer before class. no judgment. here’s some tips for how you rambunctious little party-goers can still stumble off the stage with a degree.

1. keeping up appearances SCENArIO: you’ve spent the last six weeks in bed. either because you’re in the throes of a new relationship, or spiraling after you realized you and your high school boyfriend should have broken up before you went out of state for college and he hooked up with your sister. well, kids, as you lounge around watching woody allen movies, either to appear deep to your new booty call, or as a catalyst to the good cry you have coming your way, keep in mind that eighty percent of success is just showing up.

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

SOLUTION: This fix requires some commitment from the beginning. Go to class. Just go. Your smiling face in the chair gets you pretty far. Also, don’t be a hot mess when you show up. A quick shower, a shave, some make-up, is that so hard?

In fact, if you graduate without having learned that you can bring last night’s jeans, dress, or shirt back to life with some Febreze and 20 minutes in the dryer, you’ve clearly missed something.

But showing up and looking presentable is never as handy as when you really do fall off the wagon. Professors (and even teacher’s assistants) are people too, and they judge you. If you roll in after three missed classes smelling like a party and looking like Ke$ha they are not going to waste their time on you. If you do manage to keep from being an obvious mess, you can reach out, and it pays off. All professors have office hours, yet many students never take advantage

of them. Take advantage of office hours (I mean take advantage of your professor). Go by during their regularly scheduled hours and ask for their help even if you don’t need it. The point is for them to get to know you and your face so that way you’re not just some anonymous student.

You can always opt to play the babe-in-thewoods card by saying something like, “Golly gee, professor. I sure am having trouble with this paper.” Some of them will be more than happy to rescue you from yourself.

2. haVe all your supplies at the reaDy. SCENArIO: let’s say you spent last night binge drinking and hitting on your roommate’s friend. consequently, you didn’t read chapter 34 in your biochemistry book. you have class in 20 minutes, and you’re unprepared.

SOLUTION: Bring every book/handout/workbook for the day with you. Yes, that’s right. If you have two books for one class, bring both even if the day’s assignment only calls for one. If you have three classes for the day, make the effort to haul around all reading materials for each class.

This way whenever Professor X says, “Open to page whateverthehell in textbook so-and-so,” you’re sitting there with said materials at hand.

Don’t ever under estimate the might of a 15minute pre-class power study. You not only look like you did your assignment, you also look like

you’re ready for the next one. While your back might break, your GPA will thank you.

3. participate in sporaDic participation SCENArIO: you are sitting in class, staring at the clock and wondering how they managed to both completely eradicate cell service in this building and stop time from moving forward. Instead of getting up, storming out and vowing to do more important things with your life, you opt to sit on your ass and just take it. good decision. Just because you’re a hungover, dehydrated, cranky, add mess doesn’t mean you can hide in the back of the room.

SOLUTION: Every so often listen to the very last thing your professor just said then shoot your hand up to the sky and ask a deep, meaningful question about it. Furrow your brow and listen intently for their response.

If you’re in a big class, wait until the room is completely silent that way all the attention is on your question and thus makes you look like a deep thinker with a passionate interest in the subject matter. Your professor will appreciate your participation and just might reward you for it in the end.

Finally, don’t sleep in class. It’s rude. aManda ChaPPel

I’m not fat, I’m just a sophomore COLLEGE IS THE pErFECT TIME to make a few stupid decisions. like the time you made out with what’s-her-name in the delta sigma Phi house bathroom, or the $600 you spent on jeans when what’s-his-face broke up with you. these are your formative years, time to make some memories, and some mistakes. however, trashing your health and body doesn’t have to be one of those “learning experiences” you’ve been hearing so much about. Just go ask anyone you know on the wrong side of 25. Your metabolism slows down after high school, and if you’re not careful you’ll go from co-op hipster hottie to chubby hippie in a semester flat.

Don’t Drink your calories First and foremost, let’s cut the crap. You like drinking, you drink a lot, and that’s fine.

But the number one reason people gain weight in college is beer. Ask any pretty little 21-year-old with a beer belly, and she’ll tell you. At 103 calories in 12 ounces of Keystone Light, and 95 calories in 12 ounces of Natural

(Natty) Light, one night of competitive beer pong can be all it takes to start packing on the pounds. Fortunately, there are alternatives to both beer and that mystery concoction being touted as “punch”.* * A note on “punch,” it’s often made with everclear, and sometimes even things like cold medicine. I’m not trying to sound like your mom, but golly does everclear have a lot of calories, at 190 per ounce. I’m just going to let that sink in.

eat BeFore you go One common mistake about dieting is that, well, you don’t eat as much as you should. If you’re a moderately active 18–24-year-old, you should be eating enough to get you through the day. AND, those calories should come from nutritious, whole foods that contain the things your body needs to function properly. (Go to www.ChooseMyPlate.gov for the full scoop.)

If you’re not getting the calories you need to function, guess what? You’re going to either 1) crash, or 2) give in and eat something unhealthy. As

Advice on how to pick a drink that has less calories, so you don’t have to choose between dinner and happy hour: having just one of most common drinks isn’t going to undo anyone’s day. however, there are days when you really, really want more than just one. instead of going on a liquid diet in order to compensate for a few drinks, take a look at this chart. Just knowing what exactly you’re drinking could help you shave off enough calories to fit in a few extra guilt-free cocktails.

60 calories an ounce, but most shots are 1.5 ounces. That’s around ninety calories a shot. If you start drinking shots with mixers in them like cordials, or juice, the calorie count will skyrocket. Another problem with shots is that they don’t last very long, so you move on to another drink faster.

WINE About 130 calories A glass of vino, red or white, comes in around 130 calories for a five ounce pour.

While red wine has been praised for its antioxidants and even heart health benefits, it’s still an alcoholic beverage and has residual sugar in it from the grapes. It is still a good choice if you’re the kind of person that will sit and sip a few glasses all evening.

MARGARITA 250-700 calories The huge difference in calorie count is because a traditional margarita might only be 250 calories, but the frozen fruity concoctions in fishbowl-sized glasses can rack up over 700 calories.

Keep the size of your glass in mind, and drink margaritas made by hand with fresh ingredients, not out of a machine that looks like it could dispense soft-serve ice cream.

SHOTS About 90 calories Most hard liquors will come in right round

RUM AND COKE About 180 calories Switching to diet can shave off a lot of the

someone who has spent hours of her life in the drive-thru at Jack-in-the-Box† at 2 a.m., trust me, you aren’t doing yourself any favors if you starve yourself all day and then scarf down a 940-calorie Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger.

Enough years of that behavior, and you’ll have a permanent “food baby”. † If you have to go to Jack-in-the-Box, go for something like the Grilled Chicken Pita on whole wheat. At only 390 calories and 24 grams of protein, it’s more likely to stick with you in a good way. You’re on the Internet all day anyway. Use it to look up the nutritional info at your favorite west campus eateries.

get oFF your ass No one wants to hear it. Some people love it. You need to exercise. I am the selfappointed Enemy of Exercise, but even I succumb to the obviousness of necessit y at times. For tunately, it ’s really easy to get exercise when you’re in college. You know that 40 Acres? Well, it ’s actually a lot more than 40 acres, and you probably walk it all day, f ive days a week. Walk home from your class in the ar t building instead of taking the west campus bus a couple of times. I promise you’ll be sore in the morning.

For those of you who actually enjoy exercise, this is a great time to star t some good habits. UT RecSpor ts makes all of their Texercise group classes free to tr y from August 24 –30. Classes range from basic stretching to Zumba and ballet classes. For more information on the group classes, go to w w w.UTRecSports.org.

get some sleep This is one of those things that you hear all your life, but until it really catches up with you, you have no use for it. Sleep is important for your body.

Being sleep deprived makes your metabolism slow down, and your appetite rev up. It also causes stress, which will make you reach for unhealthier “comfort” foods to soothe yourself. Now, college is a late night gig, and a little naptime never hurt anyone. Just don’t do it in class. So get as much sleep as you can, and if you absolutely cannot, this next part is going to be important for you.

calories, but it’s the two ounces of rum at about 130 calories that really makes that number jump. Order them tall with diet soda for a drink that will last a little longer for fewer calories. Otherwise toss a lime in there, call it a Cuba Libre, and only drink them on occasion.

VODKA RED BULL About 115 calories One ounce of vodka mixed with half a can of Red Bull is just over 100 calories. As with all drinks, a heavy-handed bartender can have a huge effect on how much actually goes in the drink. Using sugar-free Red Bull (if you can stand the taste) will knock quite a few calories off this drink. Half a can of the diet Red Bull is only 5 calories.

JAGER BOMBS About 200 calories Jagermeister is about 100 calories a shot, Red Bull is about 100 calories a can, tossing them together in a pint glass and chugging the mixture with your friends is not only going to leave you with a wicked headache, it’ll add an explosive 200 calories per Jager bomb.

Jess Pendleton CarawaY GIN AND TONIC About 164 calories Gin on its own is just about the same as vodka or silver rum at only about 64 calories an ounce. However, Tonic water is like club soda’s evil calorie-laden twin.

It might not taste like it, but those cute little bottles of tonic water they keep behind the bar are just as bad for you, ounce for ounce, as Coke.

BEER About 64 -350 calories Beer is tricky. Most light beers will be about 100 calories, but when you get into the wide range of beers available, it easy to end up with a beer that is well over 200 or even 300 hundred calories a bottle. Avoid holiday and seasonal brews, and anything with the word “malt” written on the label.

Editors note: Written by Sarah Neve, Editorin-Chief of Uweekly Austin. Originally published in the Accent Newspaper 2009.

Republished with permission. Illustrations

by Karen Kuhn.

*

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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Paul’s supporters fewer but more passionate If you put Ron Paul and Rick Perry side by side in this presidential race, most people would probably say Paul is the underdog. Will Lutz, managing editor of the Lone Star Report, a conservative political newsletter, says that what Paul supporters lack in numbers they make up for in passion.

“He has a group of supporters that might be 10 percent of the Republican primary voters. But they are very, very enthusiastic,” Lutz said.

That’s why Paul almost won the Iowa Straw Poll. Don Zimmerman, a Texas Republican Party Executive Committee member, says Perry supporters worried about what would happen if Texas held its own straw poll.

“Some of them stood up and objected to the Texas GOP sponsoring a straw poll out of fear that Ron Paul would win and that that might diminish the governor’s stature or embarrass the governor somehow,”

“So there are a number of issues of real things that the governor has done that doesn’t seem to line up with his rhetoric.”

Zimmerman said. “You know I strongly objected to that. I think people should have a right to choose.”

Zimmerman is a long time Paul supporter — and worked locally on his 2008 presidential campaign. He doesn’t have a problem with Perry — but he’s says there have been too many times when the promises of Candidate Perry haven’t

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matched the actions of Governor Perry.

“So there are a number of issues of real things that the governor has done that doesn’t seem to line up with his rhetoric,” he said. “And when you’re talking about

Congressman Ron Paul’s voting record — it’s very much in line with the rhetoric.”

Lutz says the divisions existed long before Perry entered the presidential campaign.

The battle lines were drawn based on the political style of each candidate.

“Rick Perry is about winning. And he is about accomplishing certain objectives,” Lutz said. “Ron Paul is about standing for principles. In a nutshell that’s the difference between the two.”

And there are examples. From the Perryinitiated Trans-Texas Corridor, which Paul had problems with on many levels, to how the country should use its military.

“Most of Paul’s supporters are not fond of these foreign military engagements.

Whereas a lot of Perry’s supporters are enthusiastically behind them,” Lutz said, adding that that no matter what you think of the Perry-led budget cuts this year, Paul would have cut even more.

And if recent interviews on some of the 24-hour news networks are any indication, Paul and Perry will be pitted against each other — whether they intend start a fight or not. But there have been similar schisms, like in the 2008 Texas primary between establishment candidate John McCain and evangelical Mike Huckabee. Zimmerman says the party came together then.

“And at the end of the day I think the party regulars, no matter where they’re from, they’re gonna get behind their nominee,” Zimmerman said.

Their common ground, cliched but true, is a common enemy in the White House.

Ben Philpott

This article originally appeared in The Texas Tribune at http://trib.it/qSQpwy.

New college vaccination law hits home for Texas students Students in Texas will soon have to add something new to their list of things to do before enrolling in college: bacterial meningitis vaccines.

The disease is an inflammation of the membranes that cover the brain and spinal cord which can result in brain damage or even death.

For 22-year-old Paralympic gold medalist Jamie Schanbaum, a current University of Texas (UT) student, becoming infecting with bacterial meningitis while enrolled at the university in Nov. 2008 ultimately led her to have her legs and fingers amputated.

“I had asked my friend if I could take a nap at her place because I wasn’t feeling well,” recalled Schanbaum as she described her experience with contracting bacterial meningitis.

“I could have died,” Schanbaum said. “I could have had mental impairments, I could have become deaf and blind, … could have permanent internal lung damage and have to take 20 pills a day, and I don’t.”

“Overnight I was vomiting and I thought it was just normal for being sick but then I noticed some differences,” Schanbaum said.

“The tile in the bathroom was cold and my feet would just react in a different way.”

At 7 a.m. Schanbaum left her friend’s to avoid a parking ticket and headed to her third-story apartment.

“I became super weak,” Schanbaum said when she described climbing the stairs to her apartment. Each step took more and more strength for her to complete as she used the wall for support and eventually she made it up.

Schanbaum explained that her body was slowly shutting down. Her body’s natural reflexes were taking action to help her survive

Bacterial Meningitis survivor Jamie Schanbaum sits on the steps outside her family’s home while wearing her prosthetic legs. Schanbaum, a 22-year-old University of Texas student who lost her lower legs and almost all her fingers nearly three years ago, has helped pave the way for a new Texas law requiring college students to receive vaccines for the disease that nearly killed her. Photo by Karissa Rodriguez

a disease that can cause severe brain damage and is fatal in 50% of cases if untreated, according to the World Health Organization.

After surviving the disease, Schanbaum went on to become the face of Sen. Wendy Davis’s (D-Ft. Worth) bill in 2009 which became law and required all college students living in dorms receive bacterial meningitis vaccines. The law became known as the Jamie Schanbaum Act of 2009.

However, Schanbaum wasn’t satisfied; she lived off-campus when she contracted the disease and sought to support amending the Act to require all college students, in onand off-campus domiciles, to be required to receive the vaccine.

In May of this year, Gov. Rick Perry signed the Jamie Schanbaum and Nicolis Williams Act authored by Davis. The Act will require all college

students under 30 taking on-campus classes to receive bacterial meningitis vaccinations.

Nicolis Williams, whom the new law is also named after, was a Texas A&M student who died from contracting bacterial meningitis in Feb. while living off-campus.

The new law will take effect Jan. 2012 and current students will be grandfathered in.

Those with religious beliefs or whose health could be at risk if vaccinated are also exempt.

In 2009 there were 457 cases of meningitis reported, according to the Texas Department of State Health Services, a sharp decline from 1,474 the year before the Jamie Schanbaum Act of 2009 became law.

Although the new law will help increase awareness for the need to be vaccinated, some students are upset with the government intrusion.

“I understand the need for the vaccine and how the new law could save lives, but it bothers me that the government is going to force me to get a shot in order to go to college,” said UT freshman Steven Noble.

Schanbaum warns those who share Noble’s view to not put politics above their health.

“I could have died,” Schanbaum said. “I could have had mental impairments, I could have become deaf and blind, … could have permanent internal lung damage and have to take 20 pills a day, and I don’t.”

“That’s just lucky,” Schanbaum, who urges everyone to get vaccinated, said. “You don’t want to go through what I went through at all.”

Karissa Rodriguez UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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It’s a revolution, baby How Go Local is “Keeping Austin Weird,” and how you can help. we haVe a lIttle SayIng heRe in Austin, vain as it may seem: “What starts here changes the world.” While that motto may very well summarize the spirit of this town, there are people who work round-the-clock to make sure that spirit not only remains intact, but thrives as well. Meet the staff of Go Local, a nonprofit organization that was started in Austin to support local business and has now spread into 12 different cities, offering incentives to its

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members who support their local businesses.

“Go Local’s mission is to champion local businesses and reward people who support them,” says Erin Hickock, Go Local’s marketing coordinator. “10% off is often a common incentive, but businesses get to choose their own rewards. For example, some places like to include a free drink,” she adds.

But Go Local is about more than just offering discounts to people who have Go Local cards, its about supporting innovation.

Go Local is often quick to point out the many public benefits in shopping locally, which not only stimulates the local economy, but also encourages entrepreneurship, which serves as a key means for upward economic mobility.

The idea is that with so many businesses competing on the level playing ground that Go Local hopes to provide, higher-tier positions at successful businesses become more available to citizens looking to push into the middle class. This in itself would seem like a good enough reason for customers to spring for Go Local’s already modest $10 price, even if it is on a student’s budget.

If you’re still not sure, for whatever reason, as to why you shouldn’t “Go Local,” stop by in front of the Mellow Mushroom this Thursday between 11 AM to 4 PM where Go Local and UWeekly will be hosting a welcome back event for students. And don’t worry, Go Local cards will be available for purchase and Go Local representatives will be available for questions if you have any. If you can’t make it, though, just have a look at some of these deals and decide

for yourself if it’s economically responsible of you to “Go Local.”

ALAMO DrAFTHOUSE CINEMA 10% OFF FOOD & BEVErAGE WITH pUrCHASE $10 Or MOrE If you still haven’t been to the Drafthouse because you were maybe wary of the bill, for goodness sakes just go. The card is already a good enough excuse to get a little fancy with your movie experience and maybe splurge on a hamburger as well as their infamous “five dollar shake.” Hell, take a date and pay for her check, you can bet she’ll love a thrifty man like you who pulls out a Go Local card on the first date. Just make sure you’re carrying something else in that wallet as well.

support local businesses while you’re at it, too.

TEXAS rOLLEr GIrLS- $3 OFF TICKETS AT THE DOOr Never had a chance to venture out to the Palmer Events Center to see Austin’s famed roller derby girls? They’re a close second to the Texas Longhorns in terms of Austin sporting tradition and they are some straight-up badass chicks that can fly. With a mixture of speed skating, catfighting, and professional wrestling, the Texas Rollergirls are always bound to entertain and they love a good crowd, so bring your A game as a fan and they’ll be likely to return the favor.

Brian Bogart

“Go Local’s mission is to champion local businesses and reward people who support them,” says Erin Hickock, Go Local’s marketing coordinator.

SEG CITY SEGWAY TOUrS- 10% OFF ALL TOUrS All right, you may think I’m joking with this one, but when has segwaying ever been a joke? I defy you to tell me a single time you saw a segway tour go by and didn’t immediately think “Damn, I wish I was on one of those.”

Exactly, you can’t, because even though that was a great “that’s what she said,” segways are still one of the only forms of transportation we as a human race still find mysterious and riveting, so hurry up and get on one before they become too normalized. Oh yeah and

UWeekly and Go Local party

First 100 students get a free iPhone cover and a free game of Laser Tag! Rita’s Italian Shaved Ice and Cornucopia will be passing free treats!

There will also be UWeekly Go Local cards for sale that get you 10% off all your favorite local places.

Winner of our photo contest receives $50 in cash announced the following week in UWeekly.

Thursday August 25 11:00am-4:00pm

General Manager Michael Huereque Account Executive Alexa Hansson Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy

OpINION E

What you said

Photos and interviews b Brian Bogart

“What are you looking forward to this semester?”

Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Photo Editor Julie Patterson Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers John Jarzemsky Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie

“I’m looking forward to the productions I’m in: The Cherry Orchard and Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Come check it and support the arts!”

Amanda Morish (Theatre MFA)

Sports Writers Ryan Betori Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William Bass Devon Tincknell Sarah Vasquez Shannon Yoachum Karissa Rodriguez

“I’m looking forward to the adventures that this year has to offer.”

Evita Montes (Business Major)

Circulation Jeremey Tooker CONTACT 6705 Debcoe Drive Austin, TX 78749 O: 512–358–4149 F: 512–358–6544 uweeklyaustin.com info@uweeklyaustin.com PUBLISHER Highbrow LLC

“Getting to know Austin, as well as some of the local businesses around here.”

Michelle Khafif (Advertising Major)

ABOUT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each.

Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors.

No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2011 Highbrow, LLC

“Working hard. Drinking hard”

David Esses, Liberal Arts

Air it out Dear people Who Live Above Me, hey, It’S Me, the guy who lives below you, and I just wanted to let you know that living under your floor is the most unfortunate part of my college life. Now I don’t know if that says more about how much noise you make or simply the quality of my life, but it’s clear that something has gotta to give here.

The thing is, dear neighbor, is that it’s not just the noise or the parties you throw; it’s all the extra-curricular activities. For starters, the constant noise of furniture being moved, nay dragged, all over the floor (which, in case you haven’t figured out yet, is also my ceiling), is hardly welcome at 4am. Not to mention the incessant banging I hear at ungodly hours when you’re mid-party, which I know for a fact is not the type of banging that’s usually associated with banging because I can’t think of the last time I romanced a woman and had it sound like I was trying to kill a spider with a keg shell.

Perhaps the cruelest irony of all, though, is that I can’t play music from my speakers on my own leisure time without having the people

below me raise hell. I’ve even had confused security guards knock on my door wondering why they were called to my room when I’ve still never come close to calling security at your place, but hey, not everyone can share my same capacity for forgiveness. So next time you decide to slam a mallet against the floor Super-SmashBrothers-style (you mean that’s not what you’re actually doing up there?), maybe, just maybe, ask yourself “how does the guy below me feel?”

The answer might surprise you.

Sincerely, Your Friendly Neighbor

An Air It Out FAQ How to get us to actually print what you write.

1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to airItout@uweekly.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space.

Photo: ralph Barrera/ aMeriCan-statesMan

Picking up the pieces A look at how Texas’ offensive off-season has played out let’S face It. laSt yeaR’S football season was uglier than a&M’s uniforms. In an effort to rebound, Mack Brown’s coaching staff turned into one big garage sale: everything goes. the good news? there’s lots of room for improvement and the team has gotten their hands dirty all off-season to ensure that happens. although players may be on the verge of hallucinating as the heat from two-a-days gets hotter and hotter, the team dynamic is becoming ever more clear to outside observers. here’s a breakdown on what’s been going on behind closed doors with the offense and how it’s affected the horns.

QUARTERBACK Like most things from last season, the quarterback play left much to be desired.

Needless to say, the import of the position (and its uncertainty) has demanded TONS of attention and speculation throughout the

off-season and a requisite amount of space in this article.

Although he didn’t have much help, it’s hard not to call Garrett Gilbert, who drew (favorable) comparisons to all-time Texas greats before he

ever stepped foot on DKR Stadium, anything less than a colossal disappointment. Though he’s got the physical attributes to make NFL scouts soil themselves, Gilbert lacked swagger in the pocket and had a tendency to throw the ball to people in wrong jerseys. I wish I could report that Gilbert’s ironed out these kinks and established himself as the prodigy he was billed to be, but I have many wishes that have gone unfulfilled (slumber party at Hardin House, flying skateboard, etc.). Though Gilbert’s been solid in practice, his scrimmage performance hasn’t silenced lingering doubts.

Freshman David Ash has been turning some heads with his confident play and maturity. In fact, so many good things are being said about the diaper dandy that some have Ash pegged above Case McCoy as the most likely to steal Gilbert’s starting job. Nonetheless, he’s still a freshman prone to freshman mistakes and with so much scrutiny surrounding the program it’s unlikely that Mack Daddy would give the keys to a kid who’s used to playing in front of his neighborhood. Ash could even wind up redshirted, but it’s doubtful given the precarious nature of the signal-calling situation.

Case McCoy is a fan favorite because of his fun last name, but with his performance in the

spring game and a recent scrimmage indicates that the dude is a real gamer. Like his brother, McCoy is showing a penchant for stepping up when it counts. The problem? McCoy is the least impressive of Texas’ four quarterbacks on paper and in practice.

Second Baptist product Connor Wood is the least likely to take over the starting position, though he’s gotten lots of reps in practice. Still, it appears Wood is bringing up the caboose in the arms race (get it?).

Bottom Line: Although all the quarterbacks have been getting ample amounts of attention and reps in practice, it’s still likely that Gilbert will be the man under center against Rice. If this is the case, he’ll have a short leash and don’t be surprised to see Ash and McCoy on the field regardless.

RUSHING Rushing has been an uncharacteristic weakness for a few years now, but luckily for us, in his limited time in practice due to injury, Malcolm Brown is living up to the hype as the savior of all things that receive hand offs.

Brown is fast, powerful, and, perhaps most impressively, has an uncanny work ethic. Me likey. Senior Fozzy Whittaker, who’s taken to

mentoring Brown, has had a spectacular camp and is looking fit to shoulder a big portion of Texas’ running load.

Bottom Line: By the looks of it, UT’s rushing game has been resurrected.

RECEIVING With senior Malcolm Williams foregoing his senior season due to family issues, the already young Texas receiving corps just got younger.

Sophomore Mike Davis will be the go-to guy and has been a beast all off-season. He doesn’t wow with athleticism but he’s a fantastically crafty route runner who catches everything.

Freshmen Jaxon Shipley and Miles Onyegbule will both be getting considerable time, and Shipley could become a big target based on camp. Sophomore Darius White is looking much improved and freshman John Harris may even be in the mix. Did I say we were young?

Bottom Line: With youth comes promise, but also growing pains. Combined with the uncertainty of QB play, the situation is improved from last year but far from ideal.

OFFENSIVE LINE

well be the difference maker for the Longhorns.

Guard Trey Hopkins, tackle Mason Walters, and center Dominic Espinosa have all had very good off-seasons. David Snow has been moved from center to guard and Tray Allen will hold down left tackle (though there are some question marks there).

Bottom Line: Better than last year, but not inspiring an abundance of confidence.

TIGHT END I know, I know. Texas has a tight end? But truthfully, this year we have one in a big way. D.J. Grant, who’s missed two years due to injury but was a top 20 recruit coming out of high school, is returning. Grant does two important things very well: he blocks and catches. That’s a good recipe for a tight end.

Bottom Line: The position has gone from a weakness to a strength.

With all this said, it seems that the UT lineup, while not ideal, at least looks more promising than last year. All we can do now is watch, cheer, sometimes groan, and hope that at the very least, we don’t receive a consecutive Bum Steer award.

rYan Betori

Though it’s the most difficult to interpret where it stands, the offensive line may very

The Highlight Reel

Photo: university of texas at austin athletics

True story, I was out of the country for two weeks this summer and stopped at a friend’s house the night I got back in. I had been so used to professional football being in a stand-still and I had been so out of touch with American sports that when I saw this year’s first pre-season game on his TV, I had to look twice to make sure it wasn’t a replay. Even though everything still started when it was supposed to, something about this off-season has just seemed prolonged, and anyone who followed the lockout has got to know what I’m talking about. Bottom line, though? Goddamn, it is good to have football back!

With Wade Phillips as their defensive coordinator and some new toys in the defensive backfield, the Houston Texans have the necessary tools to be a playoff team.

Bank. On. That.

How about Colt McCoy reaching out to Brett Favre for some help in adapting to Mike Holmgren’s westcoast offense, which is the exact scheme Favre won a superbowl with in 1996? I don’t know if it’s more shocking that Colt reached out to Brett for help after the guy reportedly brushed off Aaron Rodgers when he was in a similar position or the fact that ol’ number 4 actually willingly helped. Either way, that mentorship seemed to pay dividends as McCoy’s passer rating in his first pre-season game was just a few points away from perfect. There’s a reason this guy’s number is retired at DKR Stadium.

With the media fresh off their frenzy involving Ohio State’s NCAA regulations, a new school has shown up with their own violations to keep the party rolling. I give you The U, ladies and gentlemen (that is the U of Miami for those unfamiliar with their pretentious nomenclature).

While no one may be acting surprised, seeing as how Miami football built its image as a bad-boy program when it was first gaining prestige in the ’80s, violations just keep piling up as the disparity between the NCAA and the integrity of college football continues to widen.

S o here’s a joke: A cop pulls over a car full of Oregon football players, including quarterback Darron Thomas, and after catching a whiff of the apprehended vehicle asks, “Who’s got the marijuana in the car?” to which driver Cliff Harris replies, “We smoked it all.” Oh wait, that’s right, this isn’t a joke. It’s just another classic brush-in-with-thelaw story we’ve come to expect from the Oregon Ducks. You want a joke a duck can appreciate? A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for chapstick. The cashier says, “Cash or check?” and the duck says, “Just put it on my bill.” Now that’s class.

Brian Bogart

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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Sizing up the Team after Fridays scrimmage 1. GARRETT GILBERT IS ALIVE: Maybe Garrett Gilbert has figured it out over the past week. Maybe he looked over the edge and saw Texas football moving on without him.

Maybe he thought of all the victories he’s been a part of in winning back-to-back state titles at Lake Travis and realized the only one holding him down was … himself.

His performance in the team’s first scrimmage of fall camp left everyone wondering if he could hold onto his starting job. That maybe he didn’t have the mental makeup to handle being THE starting quarterback of the Longhorns.

There were two interceptions, including a ball tipped and picked off by freshman defensive end Cedric Reed. Gilbert, by all accounts, seemed jittery and uncomfortable. His body language was that of a high school quarterback playing on varsity for the first time. Yes, it was coming against Manny Diaz’s pressure cooking first-team defense, but Case McCoy and David Ash made some plays against that unit. Gilbert, it seemed, almost made none.

But maybe that was finally the wake-up call Gilbert needed. Because the last two practices leading up to Friday night’s scrimmage and again on Friday night, Gilbert seemed like a new man.

More confident. More vocal. More assertive.

Even when Case McCoy threw a touchdown pass in red zone work to Jaxon Shipley, Gilbert was the first one on the field to congratulate him.

Gilbert may now finally be grasping the concept that to be the quarterback at Texas, you have to be bigger than life.

You have to own the situation.

It isn’t enough to simply call out the plays and execute them.

You have to be part of the confidence of 105 other guys. They have to feel your presence, your power and your punch.

This was a big week for Garrett Gilbert. He likely reclaimed the lead for the starting job.

There are still two weeks until the opener. No time to let up now. He has to continue to build on what he’s shown.

It can’t just be the simple fact that in last week’s scrimmage he was mostly facing Alex Okafor,Jackson Jeffcoat, Keenan Robinson and the first-team defense and that they owned him. And that this week he was facing the mostly the secondteam defense, and Gilbert seemed to own them.

Photo: Jay Janner/AMERICAN-STATESMAN

For this Texas team to have a chance to be one of the great turnaround stories in 2011, Gilbert has to KNOW every single time he walks on the field that he’s going to lead his team to points.

And that if it doesn’t happen, he’ll burn to make it happen the next time. And all of his teammates have to believe it, too.

If those intangibles aren’t evident to the coaching staff, then it’s just a matter of time before Case McCoy or David Ash takes over for him.

But as of right now, the light seems to have gone on for Gilbert. Now, we’ll see how brightly that light burns.

2. SECOND-TEAM QUARTERBACK STAKES: The race right now seems to be one

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

for the second-team quarterback, and it appears to be between Case McCoy and David Ash. McCoy got the majority of second-team work in Friday night’s scrimmage. Ash got the thirdmost work, and Connor Wood barely got any (two series is what I was told).

There have been rumblings that Wood is preparing to transfer, but those close to Wood say it’s not true. We’ll see.

The bottom line is McCoy doesn’t wow with his arm, his legs, his alpha male presence or his physical tools. But all he does is make the chains

move. He is the king of the underneath pass, taking what he’s given and moving the offense.

Sound familiar? Like a young Colt McCoy? But then there’s Ash, who does wow you with his arm, his legs, his alpha male presence and his physical tools.

So what do you do? If you give it to Ash based on the upside factor, you could very well lose McCoy and Wood to transfer because both could and probably would start at other places.

(Look at former Texas QB G.J. Kinne starting his senior season for a loaded Tulsa team that won 10 games last season.)

If the coaches make Gilbert the starter and McCoy the backup, they could redshirt Ash and might lose Wood.

But Mack Brown said Thursday: you can’t make your decisions at quarterback based on anything other than what gives Texas the best chance to win.

The coaches have to decide in the next 7 to 10 days who will join Gilbert in the two-deep. And then they have to be ready for the fallout that follows.

3. OFFENSIVE LINE SHOWS PROMISE: One of the more notable developments in Scrimmage No. 2 Friday night was the offensive line play. For the most part, the offense outper-

formed the defense. And Manny Diaz was still dialing up blitzes.

Outside of a holding call that wiped out a 40-yard TD run by Foswhitt Whittaker (and Stacy Searels let his guys hear about it), the line held its own against Kheeston Randall, Jeffcoat, Okafor, Acho, Robinson and company.

There were holes for Whittaker, Malcolm Brown and Joe Bergeron to run through.

The first-team unit was Tray Allen at left tackle, David Snow at left guard, Espinosa at center, Mason Walters at right guard and Trey Hopkins at right tackle. This group has been shuffled around over the past two weeks (Walters was at right tackle in Scrimmage No. 1 with David Snow at right guard and Trey Hopkins at left guard).

But the same five have been on the field for both scrimmages. It appears Searels has made up his mind about the best five.

Now it’s a matter of them gelling together. If Tray Allen is truly a left tackle that can win his share of battles against the likes of Jackson Jeffcoat, then it will be one of the best stories of the Longhorn season.

Look at the defensive ends on Texas’ schedule. There may not be a better DE than Jeffcoat.

Tray Allen may find practices the toughest days of the season.

If Trey Hopkins is the right tackle, he may not find a tougher matchup than Alex Okafor.

What I like about the Snow and Walters at guard is that these guys have two of the biggest mean streaks on the team. Combine those attitudes with Espinosa, who is just so technically sound (flat back, great feet, solid punch and no wasted motion) as well as smart and tough, and you’ve got the makings of something to build on.

And considering tackles Garrett Greenlea and Paden Kelley as well as guard Sedrick Flowers continue to draw strong reviews on the secondteam line, there appears to be some depth.

Garrett Porter probably stands up too much right now and gets pushed around because his pad level isn’t low enough. But he gives Texas a solid backup center. Thomas Ashcraft has lost 20 pounds, but he’s still struggling in the heat to stay on the field for extended snaps. So he is definitely a backup right now.

But I’ve been told the starting offensive line is growing in strength and stature under Stacy Searels.

“They may need a week or two to get their legs under them, but they are going to be a strength of this team before the end of the season,” a source said. “And that is great news.”

4. WHAT’S GOING ON AT RECEIVER?: Is it possible Jaxon Shipley has been the most consistent receiver on the team in fall camp? Yes. That’s a fact.

Mike Davis and Darius White will probably be the starters along with Shipley. But Davis and White have had more drops in fall camp than Shipley.

No one looks at Shipley as a freshman. No

one. This kid is working people over. Great routes. Gets out of his breaks like his brother, gaining separation simply be being able to sell a route one way, then breaking another way.

Shipley and Miles Onyegbule had TD catches in red zone work Friday night.

John Harris has had some big days, too.

So when you look at Davis, White, Shipley, Harris and Onyegbule (DeSean Hales hasn’t had the camp he probably wanted to have up to this point), that group has a chance to have a much better season than last year’s cast of Malcolm Williams, James Kirkendoll, John Chiles, Marquise Goodwin and Davis.

There, I said it. I think this year’s receiving group (and add in pass-catching tight ends Blaine Irby andD.J. Grant in Bryan Harsin’s offense) will be better and more productive than last year.

5. MALCOLM BROWN IS HERE TO STAY: Don’t want to kick the hype machine into overdrive onMalcolm Brown, especially considering he virtually missed the first two weeks of camp.

But the kid has shown savvy, vision, power and presence beyond his years. He sees holes before they open. He sets up his blocks. He gets north and south. Physically, he looks like he’s been in the program for a couple years.

Brown is going to get the ball. A lot. So is Joe Bergeron. And Fozzy Whittaker.

Major Applewhite said he could see three guys working in every-down situations and then some specialty situation guys.

Look for Fozzy, Malcolm Brown and Bergeron to become the every-down guys. Look for Cody Johnsonto be the short-yardage and goal-line guy. Look for D.J. Monroe to be a specialty package guy as well as Traylon Shead and Jeremy Hills.

When you stack it up, the running back position has a chance to be pretty salty, especially in Bryan Harsin’s new-look-but-old-school running game.

The future is bright at RB when you consider Brown and Bergeron with Johnathan Gray on the way.

Here we go.

6. THE DIAZ DEFENSE:

I’ve said for weeks the defense is going to have to carry the Longhorns the first three weeks of the season until the offense knows exactly what it’s doing and how it’s going to do it under Bryan Harsin and Major Applewhite.

And I’m starting to believe they’ll be able to do it. Manny Diaz is a wild man with all of his zone pressure. But there is definitely a method to his madness. He will send everyone on a blitz and drop middle linebacker Keenan Robinson into centerfield coverage at the safety level.

Diaz seems to be limited only by his imagination, and his players love it.

As long as they are getting home on blitzes and hitting the quarterback. (Manny Diaz considers hits on a quarterback more important than sacks), then opponents are going to wilt as the game goes on and probably turn over the ball a bunch in the process.

Last year, Texas’ Garrett Gilbert threw 17 interceptions, and the Texas defense only collected 8 interceptions. Those numbers need to be reversed this season. If Diaz gets the kind of pressure he expects with guys like Jeffcoat, Okafor and his band of blitzing bandits, there should be plenty of ducks in the air for Texas’ young corners and veteran safeties to grab.

All I can say is this team is going to be fun to watch. This is a complete makeover. For all the fans who used to walk out of DKR cursing Greg Davis’ name, even though he put up some crazy numbers, there should be no more cursing starting Sept. 3.

Fans will be walking out of DKR trying to remember all the plays that had them talking to each other. Texas fight back to prominence will be an entertaining one.

BONUS NUGGET: The Associated Press poll came out on Saturday, and Oklahoma is No. 1 and Alabama No. 2.

I don’t think OU’s defense is going to be good enough to get the Sooners to the BCS national title game. I’m not crazy about their defensive tackles, their middle linebacker or the fact OU has two new safeties. If you’re not strong right up the middle of your defense, you’re vulnerable. I think the Sooners will be vulnerable.

I’ll take Alabama and Florida State (the Noles will beat OU in Tallahassee on Sept. 17) in the BCS title game.

I am once again a Harris Poll voter (my third year), and I wouldn’t put Texas in the preseason Top 25 because there are a ton of question marks on paper. But I bet Texas finishes close to or in the Top 15, even with the Longhorns’ QB uncertainty.

I think Harsin and Applewhite ultimately get the right guy under center, and this offense gradually improves from week to week. If things fall right, the offense could improve dramatically from week to week.

NOTE: Tailgate/Air will be chartering flights for Orangebloods.com subscribers this season to the Missouri game Nov. 12.

Direct flight to the game, buses to a fullblown tailgate before the game, buses back to the airport after the game and return home the same night. No waiting at the airport, rental cars or hotel reservations.

Just the best parts of a football Saturday on the road.

For more information, check out Tailgate/Air’s partner page on the OB Connection, go to TailgateAir.com or call 877-359-3243. Use the promo code Orangebloods for a 5 percent discount.

Chip Brown Orangebloods.com Columnist

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

13

Fantasy 101 A guide to establishing yourself as a fantasy football guru

RUNNING BACK

was also fighting an ankle injury that hampered him for the majority of last season. Although Johnson faltered in the fantasy playoffs last year, he is still the top dog. Mid/Late first round.

ALSO LIKE: Roddy White, Calvin Johnson SLEEpEr: Dez Bryant. When selecting Bryant, one word comes to mind: upside.

Bryant did enough last year to keep us believing (561 yards, 6 TD’s) without making us drop our jaws. But this year, he just might do the latter. With the release of Roy Williams and a healthy Romo, Bryant could see a huge boom in production.

Late third round.

ALSO LIKE: Julio Jones (middle rounds), Mohamed Massaquoi (late rounds)

QUARTERBACK

BEST: Adrian Peterson. It’s a tough call between the established Peterson and breakout star Arian Foster, but Peterson has been better for longer and is the best pure rusher in the draft. Foster may get the nod because he’s more of a receiving weapon, but with McNabb at the helm look for Peterson’s receiving numbers to improve. Top pick.

ALSO LIKE: Arian Foster, Chris Johnson SLEEpEr: Shonn Greene.

The Jets love to run ball and the aging LaDainian Tomlinson will find himself as a third down back. This means lots of carries for Greene.

Although Greene is a bit fumble prone, he could end up with a 1,200 yard, 10-touchdown season. Late third round.

ALSO LIKE: Roy Helu Jr. (middle rounds), Mike Tolbert (late rounds)

BEST: Aaron Rodgers. He’s been a statistical freak for three seasons and he’ll only be better this year with a healthy Jermichael Finley and the addition of receiving threat Randall Cobb.

Michael Vick may have more upside but he’s also injury-prone and defenses will be locking onto him this year. Late first round/ Early second.

ALSO LIKE: Michael Vick, Drew Brees SLEEpEr: Josh Freeman.

The Tampa Bay product struggled in his rookie season, but had a very promising sophomore campaign (3,415 yards, 25 TD’s, 5 INT’s). Freeman has an up-andcoming receiving corps (think Mike Williams) at his disposal and he’s also capable of running the ball. Middle rounds.

ALSO LIKE: Mark Sanchez (middle/late rounds), Matt Cassel (middle/late rounds)

Fantasy football has arrived and the decisions are even tougher than choosing which potato chips to buy for draft day.

WIDE RECEIVER BEST: Andre Johnson. Johnson is Mr. Consistent.

Year in and year out he produces. Had Johnson not missed three games last year, he very well may have been the league’s top statistical receiver. He

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Photos: (andre Johnson: lbking); (aaron rodges: Chad davis, cropped and edited by CPacker); all others used under the creative commons

It’S that tIMe of the yeaR agaIn. The onslaught of statistical deliberation, (seemingly) ingenious scheming, and man-cave preparations has commenced. Fantasy football has arrived and the decisions are even tougher than choosing which potato chips to buy for draft day. So plan accordingly. A bum knee or an underachiever is all it takes to fall from the king of the league to the butt of message board jokes. Here’s a guide for draft day that will help ensure that come season’s end, you’re the one doing the smack talking instead of getting smacked.

Positions are listed by importance and these projections are based on a 10-person league with standard rules.

August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

TIGHT END BEST: Antonio Gates. Gates is getting old, but at 31, he’s still got a couple of years as a top tight end left. The main concern with Gates is injuries (similar concerns blight Jermichael Finley’s promise) as he only played in 10 games

last year. Still, had Gates not been injured, he was on pace for career highs. In addition, last year was the only season Gates missed more than one game and he didn’t require any surgery in the off-season. 5th round.

ALSO LIKE: Jason Witten (sixth round), Jermichael Finley (fifth round) OTHEr TIGHT ENDS WOrTH DrAFTING: Dallas Clark (seventh round), Vernon Davis (seventh round), Marcedes Lewis (13th round), Rob Gronkowski (15th round).

LATE ROUND NOTABLES Look to snag Green Bay’s defense/special teams in the late rounds. Give them the slight edge over the Jets or the Eagles. Any of these

teams are worth picking up in the 13th round.

As far as kickers go, Sebastian Janikowski and Stephen Gostkowski are the best around and worthy of a final round selection. When in doubt, pick a kicker with a difficult name to pronounce.

rYan Betori

This Week in

Face punchin’

Blockbuster: UFC signs network deal with FOX afteR yeaRS of RuMoRS and talk that the world’s largest mixed martial arts promotion would sign a major network TV deal, it has finally happened.

Fox Sports Media Group and Zuffa (the company that owns both the UFC and Strikeforce brands) last week announced a seven-year deal that will see four live events per year on FOX, as well as 4-6 live “Fight Night” events per year on FOX-owned sister channel FX. Fuel TV, also owned by FSMG, will also received UFC-related content in the deal, such as UFC Pay-per-view preliminary fights and “UFC Countdown” shows.

The UFC, which has promoted three events in Ohio (UFC 68 in 2007, UFC 82 in 2008, and UFC 96 in 2009) and holds a lifetime promoter’s license with the Ohio Athletic Commission, feels that the deal is on par with some of the country’s top sports leagues and puts them shoulder-toshoulder with the NFL, college football, MLB, NASCAR, and more on FOX. The first UFC event to be promoted on FOX will take place on Nov. 12 and is expected to take place in Anaheim, California. Although the show will only be a one-hour broadcast, two live fights will be show. The first bout announced for “UFC on FOX 1” is a featherweight bout between rising featherweight stars Pablo Garza and Dustin Poirier.

In addition to the UFC’s new home on FOX, the reality show that helped spurn the popularity of MMA will move from Spike TV to FX. “The Ultimate Fighter” will not only be making the move to FX, but the show (which will begin its 14th and final season on Spike TV next month) will receive a facelift, as the current tape-delay format will be trashed in favor of live fights with match-ups chosen by fans and other new additions.

With the UFC’s move to FOX, rumors ran rampant last week that it would open the doors for tournament-based organization Bellator to jump from its current MTV 2 to Spike TV. Although both networks are owned

by Viacom, Bellator president Bjorn Rebney squashed any rumors about his organization jumping ship from its current MTV 2 spot.

After the rumors were silenced, Bellator held its final “Summer Series” event on Saturday as Bellator 48 took place in Connecticut.

Featherweight Pat Curran became the first fighter to win two Bellator tournaments as he upset top-five ranked foe Marlon Sandro

with a highlight reel head kick knockout to claim the Summer Series featherweight tournament. Curran now becomes the No. 2 contender to current champion Joe Warren and will receive a title shot after Patricio “Pitbull” Freire receives his title shot.

one-punch knockout that snapped his 12-fight win streak. Rising undefeated lightweight star Rene Nazare stayed unbeaten with a second round TKO victory over Juan Barrantes when Barrentes was unable to answer the bell for the third round. The win makes Nazare a favorite to

Curran now becomes the No. 2 contender to current champion Joe Warren and will receive a title shot after patricio “pitbull” Freire receives his title shot.

Bellator heavyweight champion Cole Konrad was also in action at Bellator 48, and he earned a unanimous decision over veteran fighter Paul Buentello in the co-headliner. In another heavyweight bout, Seth Petruzelli stunned former UFC heavyweight champion with a

enter the next Bellator lightweight tournament, which could start in early 2012.

It was reported that the unexpected death of well known MMA trainer Shawn Tompkins was due to a heart attack. Tompkins, who had

trained notables like Vitor Belfort, Wanderlei Silva, Sam Stout, Chris Horodecki and recent UFC title contender Mark Hominick, was a noted kickboxer who only compted four times in MMA. He was 37.

The UFC will return to Pay-per-view on Saturday with a monumental event, as “UFC 134: Rio” will be the organization’s first event in Brazil since 1998. UFC middleweight champion and Brazilian legend Anderson Silva will headline the event, and he’ll defend his title against the last fighter to defeat him (via disqualification), Yushin Okami. Another Brazilian native, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, will also be part of the event, as he’ll face fastrising heavyweight prospect Brendan Schaub on the main card. Brazilian Mauricio “Shogun” Rua will have his chance to exact revenge on fellow former UFC light heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin as the two will face off in a rematch of their 2009 bout where Griffing upset Rua with a third round submission.

daVid MCKinneY UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

15

Hot inside and out

Austin Chronicle’s 21st Annual Hot Sauce Festival

BY LUKE WINKIE

“We’re in our 21st year, and 21 years ago it was a lot more quaint, just a hot sauce competition between Austin and San Antonio,” said Austin Chronicle Marketing Director Erin Collier. “Even then it was a huge hit, a thousand people showed up, and we’ve just been running with the concept ever since.”

“Running with the concept” has turned a localized tournament into one of the biggest contests in the world, last year drawing 15,000 guests, 350 entries, and raising $17,000 and 23,500 pounds of food for charity. Not bad for something so committed to its roots.

This year, the festival sports a laundry list of sponsors, including everyone from Time Warner Cable to Car2Go, and a stage headlined by the ascending Bright Light Social Hour. It sometimes gets hard to remember that the core content is the hot sauce.

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photos Courtesy The Austin Chronicle

The last twenty years in Austin have proven three things about August. The students will all move back and make traffic worse, it will always be too hot to do anything but want to swim, and the Austin Chronicle Hot Sauce Festival will totally kick ass. Even though it’s already hot enough, with 70-plus days straight of 100-plus degree weather, this year’s festival, taking place Aug. 28 from 11 AM to 5:30 PM, should be no exception.

“It grew into a festival, but the idea is still focused on the hot sauce. When you go out there you’re only going to see commercial bottlers and food vendors,” said Collier.

“We’re not out there selling other things,” but, as she notes, Austin is a music town, and there’s almost an expectancy for any

There seem to be plenty of people who fit that demographic perfectly, including Sociology sophomore Annie Fichtner, whose favorite hot sauce flavor was Peach Jalapeño.

In a nation whose primary stock spans the monopolized duo of Tabasco and Tapatio, that is a feat.

“When I think of hot sauce I always think of my dad,” said Fichtner, “because when I was growing up I used to be amazed at how much he put on his food and I could never do it because I was a wimp.” outdoor shindig within city boundaries to have some sort of stage setup. For the Chronicle that means a selection of local talent that’s just under-the-radar enough to stay under the bill in relation to the salsas.

This is not a Jay-Z event.

“If you like music, you can come and enjoy the hot sauce, but this is mainly for people who love hot sauce, and like music as well, which is the way we think it ought to be.”

“When I think of hot sauce I always think of my dad,” said Fichtner, “because when I was growing up I used to be amazed at how much he put on his food and I could never do it because I was a wimp. But gradually I’ve gotten used to hot sauce and now I can eat the stuff my dad used to eat when I was little.”

It’s not just love for hot sauce. A free event as unique as this finds a guaranteed audience on a Sunday afternoon: it’s the

perfect, low-impact, once-a-year excursion that’s completely G-rated but still relentlessly interesting; a place where hungover undergrads, grandparents, and weary nineto-fivers can gather without any incongruity.

However, the 100-degree weather in the dead middle of August can be an antagonistic factor. According to the bottlers, this time of the year is peak pepper season which makes for the best sauce, but to the layman, the idea of standing out in Waterloo Park swallowing liquids that are designed to make you sweat seems like a ridiculous idea.

This concept is not lost on the Chronicle.

“Every year I wake up and think ‘nobody is going to be here, this is the year that everybody realizes they’d rather be in their air conditioning than outside eating hot sauce,’ but every year people still come out,” said Collier.

Whatever it is—Austin’s dedication to support left-of-center institutions, a purveying generous spirit, or just a love of eclecticism—something envisioned as a small, territorial skirmish between two Texas cities has expanded and evolved into an event people actively look forward to. That’s a success story everyone can be happy about.

Iconic East Austin blues joint re-opens as Sahara Lounge

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

magical. That’s why we wanted it.”

The Sahara Lounge sits in a nondescript building. The building’s somewhat vanilla exterior betrays its vibrant interior. The walls are adorned with neon beer signs like many bars around Austin, but for each glowing “King of Beers” sign, there is a trinket from Aminou’s home of west Nigeria.

Aminou bounces back and forth between the bar, where he does little organizing chores, and the stage, where he picks up any one of the dozen instruments that are strewn about. Occasionally he takes time to give an unprovoked explanation of the meaning behind the club’s new name, Sahara Lounge, or the origin of his band’s name. His explanations and storytelling rely equally on grandiose hand gestures, arm waving and wordplay.

“Sahara,” he explains, “comes from a word meaning ‘to quench thirst in preparation for a long journey.’”

His explanation comes as he balances an 8-stringed instrument that sounds like a harp in his lap.

“We’re all musicians and the music is the main thing,” Bristol says.

“We really

Photos:gabino iglesias

t.c.’S lounge, which once sat on Webberville Road a few miles off of IH-35, was recently purchased by three investors who are looking to continue the building’s 50-year legacy.

The bar gained popularity among students and residents of the Webberville neighborhood for its laid back feel and its Blues Nights.

Erin Shorts visited the bar on its last Blues Night and believes it to be one of the most unique bars she has ever visited in Austin.

“Cars were parked way down the road so you could tell it was packed before you even walked in the door,” Shorts said. “It was super hot in there. It was a really homey environment.”

Ibrahim Aminou, Eileen Bristol, and her son, Topaz McGarrigle, recently purchased the building from T.C. Perkins and hope to carry on the legacy of TC’s with a new name and a unique spin.

The idea to open a bar came to Aminou in a dream after the family of musicians played a gig together in Ann Arbor, MI. Aminou saw his family opening a live music joint in the live music capital of the world, and although he had never been to Texas, he and his family packed up and headed south.

The trio hung around Austin scouting locations, and in March heard that T.C. Perkins was ready to put his historic bar on the market. The group jumped at the opportunity to own what they believe to be a piece of Austin history.

“This building is very old,” Bristol said.

“It’s just got spirit in it. It’s got so much history to it. When you walk in the door it’s vibin’. It’s just

of their “toys,” like their Fender Rhodes or Bristol’s brand new log drum.

The new owner’s focus on live music is reflected in the lounge’s calendar of events.

Much like TC’s, Monday nights will be dedicated to blues. On Tuesdays the club will host DJ el John Selector, Wednesdays will be split between live jazz and a later rock show featuring McGarrigle’s Hellfire Social, Thursdays will showcase live music from

“Sahara,” he explains, “comes from a word meaning ‘to quench thirst in preparation for a long journey.’” want to be kind of a community place.”

At any point during the day, music pours from the entrance of the joint and out onto Webberville. During the day it’s normally Aminou and Bristol getting lost together in a jam or playing with one

various bands, and on Fridays DJ Spence will be spinning soul. For Aminou and Bristol, Saturdays hold an extra importance. Their band, Zoumountchi, will be recreating the pulsing African rhythms that Aminou grew up with as part of Africa Nights.

Bristol cited the bar’s free parking lot and student-friendly specials as reasons she believes the Sahara Lounge will fit in well

with students. During the month of August anyone who arrives on a bicycle gets their first drink free.

Bristol and Aminou hope to open the kitchen by winter with plans for a menu that offers traditional West Nigerian dishes.

After the closing of T.C.’s many regulars expressed dismay at the historic bar’s closing.

Bristol is quick to assure that she, her husband and her son have no intention of tampering with T.C.’s legacy.

“We love this place so why would we want to come in and gut it,” Bristol said. “We really want to maintain that atmosphere of the Texas juke joint.”

Brett thorne The Sahara Lounge is located at 1413 Webberville Road just off of E. 12th Street.

Photo: Karissa Rodriguez

Red Bull gives you race cars The sound and fury of the Red Bull Formula One Showcar’s engine as it roared through downtown Austin was music to the ears of motor racing fans and curious passersby the morning of Aug. 20.

“I was jogging on 15th Street when I heard the F1 car and my curiosity was piqued,” University of Texas student Henry Nguyen said. “Man, I was blown away. It was an awesome one-of-akind experience.”

Nguyen was one of over a hundred onlookers who witnessed Scottish F1 racing driver David Coulthard perform runs in the car up and down north Congress Avenue between 15th and 18th Streets while shooting a promotional video.

Formula One is the highest class of singleseater auto racing and will be hosting their United States Grand Prix in Austin on Nov. 18, 2012.

Coulthard, who has won 13 Grand Prix events, believes that hosting the first US

Grand Prix in Austin will help keep the sport relevant because of its large collegeaged population.

“What I can see is that [Austin] is a big college town and clearly that makes it a young, vibrant place,” Coulthard said. “I think that Formula One will learn from the youth of Austin because they’ll tell us exactly what they expect from the Grand Prix.”

“Formula One needs to keep itself relevant and to do that it needs to appeal to the younger fan base,” Coulthard added.

Although there was much confusion on the days leading up to the shooting of Red Bull’s video, word of mouth led several other UT students to the shoot.

“My friend texted me at 7 a.m. and, being the huge Formula One fan that I am, I rushed over,” student Ryan Olave said. “Seeing and hearing Coulthard performing a donut on our street was just indescribable. I can’t wait for the race next year.”

“Seeing and hearing Coulthard performing a donut on our street was just indescribable.”

Karissa Rodriguez

Photo: Karissa Rodriguez UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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Photo: Sarah Vasquez

vitamanwater helps local bands help each other The Mohawk looked and sounded like it does any other night on Aug. 6. But the show going on inside was different: instead of a couple bands performing to make ends meet, it was all about the big dogs helping out the little dogs.

Three Austin bands were handpicked by local favorites The Black Angels for vitaminwater and Vice’s Uncapped Live showcase.

The series of shows travel around the country to showcase and film local talent chosen by more familiar bands such as The Black Lips and The Raveonettes.

“We wanted to give an opportunity for bands to be shown in their own music platform,” said Liz Cowie, series producer from Vice. “So it’s bigger bands highlighting their hometowns and bands they support.”

The three bands, The Ripe, Shapes Have Fangs, and Smoke and Feathers, are not only the same genre as their supporter, they’re also friends.

Shapes Have Fangs is signed to The Black Angels’ label, Reverberation Appreciation Society.

“It’s always just an honor, really flattering for them to be interested in our music, knowing how

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

good they’re doing and everything,” said Evan McGlothlin, drummer for Shapes Have Fangs.

Other opportunities The Black Angels have passed along was the opportunity to perform as the backing band for the late Sky Saxon during a past Psych Fest.

“We were all huge fans of his music,” said McGlothlin. “It was a bittersweet opportunity because we played about three or

something we take for granted at all.”

The timing for this show couldn’t have been more perfect as each band is currently preparing to release new music to the masses, or at least thinking about it.

“We actually have been on a little bit of a hiatus,” said McGlothlin, who recently got married.

Another band member became a new dad.

“We’ve kind of been back in the studio a little

“It was a bittersweet opportunity because we played about three or four shows, and the last show we played at Antone’s with him. A couple of days later, he was in the hospital and a few days after that, he passed away.” four shows, and the last show we played at Antone’s with him. A couple of days later, he was in the hospital and a few days after that, he passed away.”

“The wonderful thing about the Austin scene is a lot of the bands here, we help each other out,” said Gian Ortiz, bassist/vocalist for The Ripe. “It’s nice to be friends with anybody when they have the opportunity to put you on cool things. It’s not

bit just to work on the next one right now. So that’s in the process, but hopefully, it won’t take as long as it took to get our debut out for sure.”

Before Smoke and Feathers enter the studio for a full-length album at the Sonic Ranch in El Paso, they will first try to raise funds through Kickstarter, a popular funding platform where fans can donate money towards their goal.

The Ripe’s first full-length album is almost

ready to be released, but before it’s released in Austin, the band will release it in Spain in September where they recorded it. They crossed the Atlantic Ocean to record in Circo Perrotti Studios because of the gear, and recorded what they call “Beatles style” using analog recording methods instead of digital.

Being away from everything also helped shape the album to what they wanted.

“I think it’s mostly the inspiration of being in another place that you’re not used to makes you think about the songs differently,” said vocalist/guitarist Jake Garcia.

The Uncapped Live series is finishing up its trek in New York on Sept. 15 with the live performances from the Austin showcase scheduled to air on Noisey.com shortly before. The four bands show obvious signs that they will continue to support each other and get their music out there.

“You find that amongst a lot of the bands like Smoke and Feathers, Shapes Have Fangs, The Black Angels, The Ugly Beats, Amplified Heat, everybody’s just connected together,” said Ortiz. “We look out for each other in which ever way we can.”

Sarah Vasquez

Females in Cinema reimagine slacker for a new generation You can always find something strangely unfamiliar in Austin: weird crimes take place under noses, conspiracy theories are born, and Governors shoot coyotes while jogging. In 1991 someone decided to reverse the usual orientation of the camera and point it back at all of this. He decided to call it Slacker. Some yawned, others took notice, and a new generation of film makers followed suit.

For film lovers of any kind, the original Slacker is required viewing. The film trundles along through the bizarrely banal lives of arm chair philosophers, Alex Jones progenitors, and murderers, somehow finding something uniquely profound in the mundane reality of a sleepwalking college town.

Likewise, the films use of non-actors and nontraditional narrative forms became almost a manual for “indie” movies to come.

“I really think the original is a must-see for anyone who enjoys the movies or Austin,” said former Females in Cinema member and UT alumna Carlyn Hudson. “Even though the film hardly has a story, I think people can really appreciate its ingenuity and inventiveness,... and while it was done in a very D.I.Y. fashion, it is still interesting and something new.”

Twenty years after the original, Daniel Metz of the Alamo Drafthouse and Brian Poyser of AFS conceive Slacker 2011. They devised the project as a fundraiser for the dwindling Texas Film

Makers Project Fund: a fund whose grants help keep Texas on the film-making map.

While Slacker 2011 is no doubt a re-creation of the original, the 24 film makers who have taken on the project have no doubt given it a contemporary twist, shifting their lenses to the infinite strangeness that continues to thrive amongst the shifting real estate.

“We definitely modernized the scene we worked on, transplanting our particular trends and culture onto the scenes from the 1991

poetic realities of the city we all love so much.

“There are so many different facets to the city that one can’t possibly take in,” said Females in Cinema president Jordan Harris. “I think the film really shows you something that you might not be familiar with no matter what crowd you run with “ In addition, the reboot uses the format and scenarios of the original while focusing its lens on Austin’s different diverse demographics that the first failed to capture.

“I’d say that the Slacker 2011 project is a little more true to what Austin looks like. It covers more ages and ethnicities, showcasing a city that isn’t always known for its diversity,” said Harris.

At the end of the day, the new movie might seem like an attempt to resuscitate Austin’s rumored-to-bedead bohemian spirit. But while the old guard clamor for the good old days and complain into their Lone Stars about “how it ain’t what it used to be,” some believe that Slacker 2011 has an important message.

“Even though the landscape has obviously changed, the tone of the original and the tone of the remake are quite similar without being contrived,” said Hudson. “I think that the film proves that while certain clubs and places might be gone, Austin’s attitude isn’t.”

“I think that the film proves that while certain clubs and places might be gone, Austin’s attitude isn’t.” version of the film,” said Hudson.

Yet, like the rebel child it is, the reboot thumbs its nose at the original while honoring it, giving a wink to the audience as it makes fun of its un-hip dad who tucks his shirt into his jeans without a belt on.

“Instead of the same scene of a guy trying to take some chicks to a club, we had a transplanted New York hipster try and impress some local females by taking them to the same club as the original, which isn’t very hip anymore,” said Hudson.

Outside of its secret fundraising motives, the film offers something for all kinds of Austinites.

Like the original, the film lazily moves around the city while profiling the gloriously profane and

William Bass

Girls on Film Outside of Rock and Roll, there probably isn’t a more overt boys’ club than the film industry. Luckily some are trying to subvert this historical trend by helping women occupy roles traditionally retained by men.

Females in Cinema is doing just this.

“The main focus of Females in Cinema is to promote women’s roles in film production,” said Females in Cinema president Jordan Harris. “We like to network girls with each other; if one girl is directing she can find a female editor or other qualified females in the industry.”

At the same time, like a sort of like a free ITT-Tech, the organization gives unexperienced ladies the tools and training they need and might not be able to get through other means.

“We also give younger students a lot of hands-on experience with workshops that cover the basics of camera, lighting, and sound,” adds Harris. “It is really great for people who have never had much experience in the film world.”

Nevertheless, as the film industry changes, so do its assumed roles. Females in Cinema just seems to be helping it do that a little faster.

“We are trying to help women subvert the traditional roles of makeup and wardrobe, and I think Females in Cinema gives women the tools to do that.”

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

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www.fbombforever.com

Welcome to college. You are now the resident of a small, burnt orange city whose 40,000-plus population consists primarily of young people looking for a good time. If you can avoid getting addicted to online poker, Xbox Live, or hard drugs, you will have a lot of fun and meet many new people, some of whom may want to get naked with you.

To help UT’s new freshmen get off to a good start—as well as stop you returning students from making the same dumb mistakes— F*Bomb spoke with Violet Blue, blogger and author of the new book Total Flirt, for advice on better navigating this seething co-ed cauldron of hormones and hook-ups we call college.

What’s the best way to take thing to the next level with someone who lives in your dorm or is in one of your classes?

In the type of situations where you’re going to see people over and over again, and you’re not sure how things might work out, first of all, keep a sense of humor about everything you’re doing. There’s a great rule that I like to say about flirting, and that’s “don’t be creepy.”

Try to put yourself in their situation. If every time they look up from their coffee you’re staring at them, that’s creepy. If you want to take things to the next level, there’s a couple things you can do that come across as “not creepy.”

what your expectations are and what you’re looking for. If you’re just looking for fun or if you’re looking for something more, know yourself. That way you can select your targets appropriately in terms of flirting and no one else gets their feelings hurt.

If you’re just looking for a casual thing and you don’t want to make a boyfriend/girlfriend (or girlfriend/girlfriend or boyfriend/ boyfriend) situation out of it, let them know before you even get them back to your room.

What you can do is just let them know, “Hey, I don’t know where my head’s at with this but I would love to spend the night with you. I don’t know where it’s going to go but I think you’re super hot. If you wanna come back to my room that would be awesome,” and make sure they’re not setting expectations around, “Oh, and we’re going to have breakfast the next day and then move in together by Friday.”

What can you do so no one feels taken advantage of?

Make sure you understand what informed consent is. What I mean by informed consent is make sure that everybody knows what they’re saying yes to and what they’re saying no to. If you invite someone back to your place with the expectation of them having sex with you, but you haven’t communicated that,

“There’s a great rule that I like to say about flirting, and that’s “don’t be creepy. Try to put yourself in their situation.

If every time they look up from their coffee you’re staring at them, that’s creepy.”

Like what?

Invite the person to things that you are already doing. Instead of saying, “Hey will you come out with me to dinner tonight?” what you want to do is say, “Hey, a bunch of us are going to this opening tomorrow night, it’s at 8 o’clock, it would be great to see you there.” That way the person doesn’t have as much direct one-on-one pressure. They can show up but it’s not putting them in a position where they feel like they either have to say yes or turn you down flat. It’s a nice way of keeping the pressure really low when you want to test the water and find out what’s going on.

How can you make sure hook-ups stay respectful?

Before you go out and play, get in mind

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August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

you’re not giving the person a chance to give you informed consent, and that can be really problematic. Everyone thinks that when you have any type of negotiation about sex, that all of a sudden everything has to errrrr....(imitates record scratch) and the music stops and suddenly it’s just not hot anymore. That’s not necessarily true. You can definitely negotiate in a really flirty way and that doesn’t mean that you need to take a break from foreplay.

What you do need to do is to say, “Hey, I’d love to go from kissing you to trying this with you, how do you feel about that?” And you can do that in a way that’s hot.

What about sex and alcohol?

Alcohol is the great inhibitions-lowerer and it’s something that a lot of us do when

we want to relax, get into the groove and get our courage up to go flirt. But sometimes it’s really hard to tell when the other person has had too much to drink. If they can’t adequately communicate to you, “Yeah, I do want a kiss,” or “No, I don’t want a kiss,” or if you ask them and they seem too wasted to adequately respond, then you know that they’re too wasted to give informed consent. And that’s some place you just don’t want to go whether it’s a stranger or a friend that you’ve been hoping to hook up with. I think a couple drinks is great but you gotta use your Spider senses to make sure they’re not too drunk.

It’s much safer to err on the side of, “Wow, this would have been an awesome opportunity to hook up but the consequences are probably going to outweigh how awesome it was that I had sex.” It feels like you’re only going to get one opportunity all year, but there will be more opportunities. You’ve got to keep that in mind so you don’t make a poor choice around one opportunity when it comes up, because if she’s too drunk or he’s too stoned, the sex is going to suck and it’s going to be crappy the next day if the person really wasn’t that into... or worse.

What about online flirting?

Technology can totally be used to enhance hook-ups. Flirting in person is definitely the summit because you get body language and eye contact, and you get to see what the chemistry is like and the subtle nuances of what they mean when they say things, but with social media you can flirt on many different levels as well.

It’s a really good way to casually ping someone throughout the day. Whether it’s liking something that they said on Facebook or giving a little @reply, it just kind of lets the person know that you’re there.

And it keeps each other on each others’ minds and it’s a really great way to keep the flirt going and keep the heat on, as long as it’s something

friendly, neutral, and warm, and (obviously) not every two hours or anything like that. Maybe twice a day.

And, if you’re definitely interested in someone you don’t want to let more than two days go by without any type of contact whatsoever.

Because generally two days is the drop-off for attention span in flirtation. So what you want to do is, before two days go by, if you’re wondering, “How long should I wait before I message them?” or “How long should I wait to text them or call them?” after the hook-up or leading up to the date, two days is the max you want to let go by. Definitely don’t let their attention drop off.

More great advice, sex-positive links, and pictures of hot naked people can be found on Violet Blue’s blog, tinynibbles.com, and additional hook-up tips from this interview can be found at uweeklyaustin.com/blogs/f-bomb Along with common sense and communication, safer sex is an essential part of any adult hook-up and new students should visit the Healthy Horns center for additional resources and information.

Devon Tincknell

Austin Fashion Week 2011 Austin Fashion Week kicked off on Saturday, August 20, 2011 at the Speed & Glory Event presented by Lincoln at the Harley Davidson Showroom. The event was complete appetizers from Cantina Laredo and Judges Hill to mention a few, complimentary cocktails and a performance by LC Rocks. The

people of Austin poured into the event walking in on a red carpet to see the styles of Harley Davidson and Betsey Johnson hit the runway. The night was a hit, what a perfect way to start off a week full of fashion. Austin Fashion Week is offering several events that are free and open to the public this week as well. There is even an iPhone app that you can download for free on your phone for the complete schedule. Take a look at a few of the events taking place this week:

AUSTIN FASHION WEEK EVENTS Wednesday, August 24: Swimwear & Resort Wear Runway Presentations at the Driskill Hotel Thursday, August 25: Eclectic & Edgy Runway Presentations at the Driskill Hotel Friday, August 26: Classic Couture Runway Presentations at the Driskill Hotel

Shannon Yoachum Saturday, August 27: Austin Fashion Awards Presented by Sono Bello at ACL Live

AUSTIN FASHION WEEK: Bestsey Johnson Show

Ashley Kaplan & Anisa Webb: “We are excited to see what designs are going to hit the runway tonight.�

Austin Fashion Week also has Showcase events all around the city. Most of the events are at retail or beauty locations and are free/open to the public: Sunday, August 21: Midtown Monday, August 22: Downtown Presented by Premiere Party Central Tuesday, August 23: West Austin presented by the Hill Country Galleria Wednesday, August 24: South Austin Thursday, August 25: 2ND Street District Friday, August 26: North Austin

super crossword

crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

CLEARLY STATED

CLUE: Z EQUALS P

sudoku

Barstars Photos: Julie Patterson

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Vanity Theft proves that girls can be more than just a pretty face singing about their “girly” emotions. This band embraces their attitude and sexual side in their catchy rock songs about issues that are more than just “oh geez, this boy doesn’t know I exist.” Instead they present more blunt and to-the-point lyrics just like they proclaim in the first track “Trainwreck” on their album Get What You Came For: “Don’t make me take it nice and slow...”

Hill (vocals/guitar), Grodecki (vocals/ guitar/keyboard), Elyse Driskill (drums) have played in a band together since their high school days after Hill invited Grodecki to a practice. The bassist position, though, has always been revolving door of musicians.

The band chatted with UWeekly to discuss why they can’t seem to keep a bassist and where they draw their lyrical inspiration from as they headed to their first show of The Lady Killer Tour with Sick of Sarah and Hunter Valentine. They will make an Austin stop on August 29 at Emo’s.

Since you’ve toured in the past with Sick of Sarah and Hunter Valentine, was it a natural thing to combine forces and do one big tour together?

How did this tour come about?

Alicia: Sick of Sarah, they’re our sister band. They’re on our label. They were actually the first band we’ve ever toured with. We did our tours by ourselves, but they were the first ones we actually joined up with. That was fun and crazy.

We actually did a nationwide tour with them. Then probably six months later, we did a nationwide tour with Hunter Valentine. So we had heard a lot about them and they had heard a lot about us. So we decided to give it a shot and we all hit it off. The two of them then toured together. I think everyone’s really excited. Touring with all three of us is something we basically wanted to do from the beginning and finally it worked out where all three bands go out together. So I know we’re all really, really stoked. It’s going to be crazy, I’m sure.

In your songs, you sing about love and boys and stuff, but it’s not Taylor Swifttype lyrics. It’s the more aggressive, sexual side. Where do you draw those lyrics from?

Brittany: I don’t know. I think it’s a combination of things. We all take ourselves too seriously. We rather take a dominant sexual spin on it because it’s that way. Sexy is fun and rock and roll.

Alicia: We don’t want to rewrite the same song. There are a lot of songs out there like people rewriting the same song over and over and over again. I think myself and Brittany write ourselves on our lyrics quite a bit,

because I prefer songs that actually make you think and the lyrics are a little bit more intricate and a little bit different. I think I try to take that into account instead of writing cheesy love songs all the time.

Brittany: Yeah. We’re doing a lot of writing and touring so busy, busy.

So you guys are currently writing?

Brittany: Yeah, we’re playing a couple of new songs on this tour that’s not

been recorded yet. We got a lot of material floating around so there’s no definite plans yet to hit the studio any time soon but hopefully like later this year, we’ll get back to work.

You mentioned earlier that you have a revolving door of bassists. Why do you think that’s happening?

Alicia: We smell very bad.

Brittany: We’re slave drivers so… I think it’s all about practicality normally.

It’s like if you don’t start the band with the original bassist and keep the original bassist, everyone who comes along after that just doesn’t quite feel as part of it.

We’ve been going through a series of bassists that have lived out of state like the last one that we did a big tour with lived in Boston actually. So it’s not that she didn’t like playing with us, she just couldn’t keep commuting back and forth from Boston to Ohio when we would have to have rehearsals and things like that because her life is in Boston. We toured with another girl who’s from LA. LA’s on the other side of the country.

Luckily Allison (Kelly, current bassist) is from Dayton. So it’s all been a lot easier and actually worked really well so far.

Alicia: Yeah, we hope we don’t scare her away. We like her.

Allison: I don’t think they smell bad at all.

What was it like having people attached to the band because of her? Do you feel it affect it at all or did it matter?

Alicia: I don’t think it really mattered.

The way I look at it is like if people looked us up because we have her in the band and they became a fan, then great. It’s just like any form of press or anything that brings us new fans, new listeners we’re not going to say no to, but I don’t think it affected anything within the band. The three of us have been playing together for six or seven years now. So bringing her in for nine months, for us, it was just someone to play the bass and someone to tour with.

It worked out at the time so why not?

Is the LA bassist the infamous Lalaine (most famously known as Hilary Duff’s BFF in Disney Channel’s Lizzie MaGuire)?

Alicia: Yeah. She left in 2010. We had her for last summer and a little bit in the fall.

Sarah Vasquez

So what else is coming up that we should keep an eye out on?

Brittany: Well this tour is a month and a half long so that’s our main focus but after that, I guess we’ll be doing a lot of writing later this year. We don’t normally tour over the holidays so we just hope to write a lot of new songs and hopefully put a new EP out or something early next year.

vanity theft will be performing

at Emo’s on August 29th with Sick of Sarah. Tickets are $10, doors at 8p.m.

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

27

Wednesday

The Dear Hunter @ Emos, 603 Red River

Providence, Rhode Island’s The Receiving End of Sirens is one of the few post-hardcore bands that music snobs don’t immediately turn their noses to. So it makes sense that a Sirens side project, The Dear Hunter, has escalated to an Emo’s headlining slot.

Known for off-beat instrumentation and a self-imposed mythology, The Dear Hunter deserve the respect they’ve been given, even if that pun in their name looks sillier every time you read it.

►►Also Worthy

Dawes

La Zona Rosa, 612. W 4th

The top events & shows in Austin this week LUKE WINKIE 28

thursday

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels @ Stateside Paramount, 719 Congress

The first show to open in the renovated Stateside Paramount is based on the happy-go-lucky 1988 con film of the same name. Sure it’s a musical, but those 11 Tony nominations don’t lie.

Thirsty Thursdays don’t always have to be defined by rampant alcoholism and strictly R-rated debauchery, and your mom would be proud if you opted for the playhouse.

►►Also Worthy

Jesse Dayton

James McMurtry

Broken Spoke, 3201 S Lamar

James & The Douchebags

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Summer Film Series: 2001: A Space Odyssey + Baraka

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress Ave Beerland, 711 Red River

Paramount, 713 Congress Ave

Blue Velvet, 25th Anniversary Screening

Alamo Drafthouse Village, 2700 W Anderson Lane

August 24, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

friday

Handsome Furs @Mohawk, 912 Red River

The Handsome Furs are a two-person partnership between Dan Boeckner, and his wife Alexei Perry, originally conceived as a side project with recording time scheduled when Boeckner’s primary outfit, Wolf Parade, wasn’t busy.

This all changed late last year when the band announced they’d be going on an “indefinite hiatus.” Disappointing news for Wolf Parade fans, but it did lead to the best Furs record yet, 2011’s Sound Kapital. Their live show remains powerfully visceral, especially for a duo.

►►Also Worthy

Sound Tribe Sector Nine

The Hi-Tones

Stubbs, 601 Red River

Dale Watson

Beerland, 711 Red River

Literature

29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth Street

Followed by Static

Red 7, 611 E 7th

29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth Street Emo’s, 603 Red River

YellowFever

KVRX Fall Concert Series Nekormantix BoDeans

Antones, 213 W 5th

SATUrDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TIG NOTArO @alamo drafthouse downtown 320 e. 6th

MASTEr pANCAKE THEATEr: THE BrEAKFAST CLUB

Tig Notaro is a comic who’s cut her teeth in the fertile Los Angeles scene. Since then she’s appeared in The Sarah Silverman Program, accumulated a number of stories about running into pop singer Taylor Dayne, and generally wormed her way into the hearts of nationwide comedy fans.

THE GO-GOS

► also worthY

@Paramount theater, 713 south Congress

Leche and the Sweat Brothers

Saturday’s victim is the late John Hughes’ classic teen-angst-fest The Breakfast Club. Because of things like the film’s inability to hold up in modern perspective, the occasionally baffling acting, and that beyond-egregious monologue given by Emilio Estevez about his dad, there’s plenty of material to riff. And hey, the combination of shit-talking and the Alamo’s liberal alcohol policy makes a pretty good case for itself.

I am not old enough to remember The Go-Gos, nor was I a surrogate riot grrl who deeply cared about the prehistory of all-girl punk; but even someone like me can agree that The Go-Gos wrote some pretty spunky power-pop songs in their heyday.

“We Got The Beat” and “Our Lips Are Sealed” transcend any potential demographic hitches, and they completely deserve the nostalgia-fueled reunion tear they’ve been on lately. That tear continues in Austin on Sunday as they take over the formidable Paramount Theater.

► also worthY

► also worthY

OUT OF BOUNDS COMEDY FESTIVAL

riverboat Gamblers

patrick Stump

@Multiple Venues

Dia De Los Toadies

Bill Kirchen

Drew Smith’s Lonely Choir

Jason Laney Going-Away party Live

rocky Horror picture Show

Metropolis

@ downtown alamo, 320 e. sixth

Red 7, 611 E 7th

White Water Amphitheater, 11860 FM 306 Momo’s, 618 W 6th

Alamo Drafthouse Village, 2700 W Anderson

Stubb’s Jr., 801 Red River Saxon Pub, 1320 S Lamar Coldtowne Theater, 4803-B Airport Blvd The Long Center, W Riverside Drive

The Flying Theater Machine

The Hideout Theater, 617 Congress Ave

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

The Bluegrass Outfit

Flipnotics, 1801 Barton Springs

TUESDAY

This year headliners include Chicagoan troupe Switchboard and Uncle Brother, and, of course, the San Francisco mainstay/“Whose Line is it Anyway?” champion Greg Proops.

► also worthY

Mister Heavenly

Mohawk, 912 Red River

The Ettes

Emo’s, 603 Red River

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 24, 2011

29

► PeCKerheads

► shaKesPeare’s PuB

(402 e 6th st.)

(317 e 6th st.)

$3 Jager/hideous/tuaca

$5 liquor pitchers

► saPPhire

(407 e 6th st.)

(411 e 6th st.)

$2 you holla!

► thirstY niCKel

► the liBrarY

$1 domestics, wells $2 Import Bottles

► touChe

(325 e 6th st.)

(417 e 6th st.)

$1 wells

$1 Schnapps

► darwin’s PuB

► tiniest Bar in teXas

(223 e 6th st.)

(817 w 5th st.)

$2 wells/domestics 12-9 pm

$1 Bud light and Bud

► Mother egan’s

(715 w 6th st.)

$3 guinness

► qua

► Kiss and FlY

(404 colorado st.)

$1 wells til 11 pm, $3 Shot tubes

► little woodrows downtown

(213 w 4th st.)

(520 w 6th st.)

$3 drinks and $100 Bottles 8-10 pm

$3 you call It 7-10 pm

► rooFtoP Bar

► sPill

T

he Jackalope likes to boast, as it does on its website, that it is “Austin’s most notorious old school ‘dive bar’,” which is indeed heavy praise to laud on oneself in a city chock full of notorious old school dive bars. But Jackalope does have a game-changer up their sleeve and that’s their bar food, because, well, it’s not just all bar food. The Jackalope has won awards for some of the items on their menu, which ranges from burgers to bbq to po’ boys. Oh yeah, and they also serve great drinks with a range of happy hour specials. So go on and catch the fabled Jackalope, it’ll surely be an excellent chase on the way.

Brian Bogart

► Chuggin’ MonKeY

(2716 guadalupe)

(212 e. 6th st.)

(219 e 6th st.)

$2 Mimosas and $3 Bloody Mary’s

$2 any liquor, $3 domestics- open Mic night

$2 wells/domestics

► PluCKers

► aCes lounge

► Friends

(2222 Rio grande)

(222 e 6th st.)

(208 e 6th st.)

Shot night!

$2 wells/$2 drafts

$2 Vodka Bombs

► the loCal

► Blind Pig

► Maggie Mae’s

(2610 guadalupe st.)

(317 e 6th st.)

(323 e 6th st.)

$3 drafts all day

$2.50 wells/domestics

$2 wells