August 31, 2011 by Jess Pendleton

CaSH GiveawayS eveRy week

the indePendent Voice of ut austin

aug 31, 2011

www.uweekLyaustin.com

issue 32

surviving the worst college roommates uT gets its very own sports network beta kappa Gamma throws down at buco lounge (and we have pictures)

photo:sarahvasquez

ERN OUTH

NS SIRE 0 @ 11:3

auGuSt 31, 2011

the queer Student alliance

012

we list the 10 ugliest jerseys

020

the 10th annual out of Bounds

022

F*Bomb

027

uweekly sits down

Photo: elijah watson

005

is hosting the welcome Carnival on Sep. 2

in the history of sports

comedy festival

wants you to tell us what majors are better in bed

with Drive-By truckers

Stress test Exploring resources on campus for managing stress the first couPLe weeks of school can do a number on your mind and body. Endless syllabi, the riots at the Co-Op bookstore, and being hazed at your new social organization can all be quite taxing. Luckily there are a number of free resources on campus that can assist you in warding off those evil stress blues.

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION GROUP One of the main tools in the war on stress is mindfulness. A tool so simple that it is often easily overlooked in the midst of our daily confusion, mindfulness is the practice of simply attending to whatever is happening in the present moment. “While there are various definitions of mindfulness, they all relate to intentionally bringing more attention to what is going on in the present moment instead of being distracted, lost in thought, or caught up in the stories we tell ourselves about our lives,” said Integrated Health counselor Keith Arrington. Mindfulness meditation is the active process of waking ourselves up from the bad dream of unnecessary stresses and detrimental thoughts that we hurl ourselves into everyday. “You might say that [mindfulness meditation] is the opposite of going through life on automatic pilot or living mindlessly. Mindfulness meditation is a practice in which we cultivate

FACEBOOK US! fac eb oo k.c om /uw ee kly au stin we ekly cas h give aw ays

know what’s going in th e au sti n ar ea

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Scientific Evidence for Mindfulness Meditation According to Integrated Health counselor Keith Arrington, “Recent research of the brain indicates that mindfulness meditation increases whole brain integration and that there is less activity in the parts of the brain that relate to feelings of fear, anxiety, and distress and more activity in parts of the brain that relate to the ability to reason and to feelings of peace and contentment. In addition, research shows that mindfulness meditation many change brain and immune function in positive ways.”

mindfulness by purposely paying attention without judgment to what is happening within and around us,” adds Arrington. While most of us have the attention span of third grader with a bag of sugar, the practice of purposefully paying attention seems like a Sisyphean task. Nevertheless, the simple practice of sitting and watching your breath for a couple of minutes a day can produce both physiological and psychological benefits. “Many people who practice mindfulness meditation regularly report that they are less reactive and often feel more calm and peaceful,” said Arrington. “In addition, it is common for people to feel that mindfulness meditation results in a richer life. Many people find that they better manage their stress, which contributes to fewer symptoms related to chronic health conditions.” The mindfulness meditation group meets on Tuesdays from 12:15 to 12:50 on the fifth floor of the Student Services Building.

MINDBODY LAB In addition to the mindfulness meditation group, the student services building also houses the MindBody Lab. The lab contains a myriad of self-paced exercises, such as muscle relaxation and guided imagery, designed to help students improve their physical and emotional health. “We call it a lab because students are going to be experimenting with what works for them, what doesn’t, what they like, and what will be effective,” said Integrated Health counselor Elana Bizer. In addition to comfortable recliners with the above exercises, the lab is adding a bio-feedback program to their arsenal of stress-fighting tools. Keeping in line with the spirit of the MindBody Lab, biofeedback gives you a readout on the various physiological processes going on in one’s body. The information from the

Simple ways to defeat the stress monster

Close your eyes and move your awareness into your body. Slowly scan each muscle in your body from your head down to your feet for 10 minutes.

Sit comfortably in an upright position. Close your eyes or focus them on a point on the floor. Gently bring your awareness to your breath. Observe it moving through your body as it rises up through your chest and moves down through your stomach. If your attention is lost, gently bring it back to your breath. Continue for 15 minutes.

Sit comfortably in an upright position. Press your left nostril shut with your right index finger. Breath in through your right nostril and hold your breath for five seconds. Switch your finger to your left nostril and release, holding your released breath for five seconds. Repeat for 5 minutes.

biofeedback program paired with alterations in thinking, emotions, and behavior will produce a specific physiological change. While most of us would ideally like to a live a completely stress-free life, the subtle pressures of exams, paychecks, and student loans can be a motivating factor for “winning.” “You need a certain amount of stress to be motivated,” said Bizer. “One of the keys to thriving is balancing out your sense relaxation with a healthy amount of stress.” The MindBody Lab is located on the fifth floor of the SSB. They are open Monday-Friday from 8:00 a.m to 4:00 p.m.

william BaSS

The gayest party of the year... ...and you should totally be there. The welcome bAck cARnIVAl, hosted by the uT Queer student Alliance, helps network gay (and straight) students with supportive organizations, helpful resources, and most importantly each other. part eye candy, part cotton candy, the september 2 event is anticipating a record turn out, and shouldn’t’t be missed. “The purpose of the Welcome Carnival is to just to welcome students to UT,” said QSA director and event organizer Spencer Mainka. It’s easy for new students to feel lost and disconnected at a big university, and it can be an especially difficult transition for gay and lesbian students. Mainka said that she wants incoming students to connect with each other early on and have the “knowledge of a caring campus that’s accepting.” “The goal is to introduce students to each other early on. This is the first opportunity

to let students know what’s available to them on campus and how to get involved,” said Mainka. This year, the QSA has networked with other Austin-area schools including ACC, St. Edward’s and Texas State in order to branch out and include the gay student population of Austin as a whole. There is a projected turn out of 300-400 students. That’s almost double last years attendance. There will be a rainbow (so to speak) of carnival-esque activities and treats: twister,

LGBTQ organizations from UT as well as many Austin-area organizations that serve the gay and lesbian community. “We wanted to give people from inside of UT a chance to connect with students and inform them of who they are and what they do,” said Mainka. While this event is designed to help welcome and inform the LBGTQ community, anyone can attend.

“The goal is to introduce students to each other early on. This is the first opportunity to let students know what’s available to them on campus and how to get involved,” milk bottle toss, water pong, cotton candy, popsicles, cookies, Skittles, and much more. The event will also host tables and booths full of prizes and giveaways including shutter shades, hacky sacks and glitter tattoos. There will also be booths from over 20

September 2 from 5-9 PM at the UT RecSports Center located at the corner of San Jacinto St. and 20th St.

amanDa CHaPPel

Photos: Delta lambda Phi

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Is the UT System Preparing for a New Medical School? Lawmakers and local leaders are hopeful a plan unanimously adopted at last Thursday’s University of Texas System Board of Regents meeting means they could finally get what they’ve long been waiting for: a new medical school. One of the elements of the plan outlined by Chancellor Francisco Cigarroa is to “advance medical education and research

“It’s going to happen, so we’d better get ready. The Rio Grande Valley is at the epicenter of the future of the state of Texas.” in Austin.” Even before Thursday’s meeting ended, state Sen. Kirk Watson issued a press release reading between the lines, calling for the creation of a flagship health science center and medical school in Austin. “Within the next 30 days, I plan to offer a path — and a challenge for our community — to

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

build on [Cigarroa’s] statement so we realize these goals that so many of us have shared for so long,” Watson said. “It’s time for Austin to come together and act, creating a flagship initiative that can fortify our future and lead the world in the fields of medical

education, healthcare and bioscience.” Cigarroa’s plan also included a $30 million investment in South Texas to boost the number of graduates in science, technology, math and engineering, as well as the caliber of teachers in those fields. One-third of that funding will go toward the establishment of a 15,000-squarefoot simulated teaching hospital. Money will also go toward establishing a biomedical research program and boosting residency opportunities in the area. In laying out the plan, Dr. Kenneth Shine, the UT System’s vice chancellor for health affairs, explained that the rate of doctors per capita lags in Texas generally, and is particularly low in South Texas. “This plan will respond to unmet needs in health care as well as improve opportunities for economic development in the region by enhancing the education of the health care workforce, including physicians, and strengthening research in diabetes and obesity,” he said in a statement. Juliet Garcia, the president of the University

of Texas-Brownsville, which — as part of the plan — also gets the go-ahead to establish itself as a stand-alone four-year university, said the infrastructure was deliberately being laid for a new medical school in the region. “It’s going to happen, so we’d better get ready,” she said. “The Rio Grande Valley is at the epicenter of the future of the state of Texas.” Cigarroa’s plan calls for increased collaboration among UT institutions within the Austin and South Texas regions to improve the state’s health care. He said he’d be putting an equal amount of attention on addressing the issues in both regions. “It’s a two part approach,” he said. As for whether Austin or South Texas would be getting a new UT-affiliated medical school first, Cigarroa declined to offer a prediction.

Reeve Hamilton

This article originally appeared in The Texas Tribune

Guide to surviving roommates Words cannot describe how much it sucks to have a random roommate turn out to be a total psychopath. It sucks enough having one on your floor, but inches away from you every night for two semesters? That’s torment. In the limited space, limited options world of college, most of us just have to make do, but horror stories accumulate every year. You may be a bewildered freshman reading this right now, or perhaps an older student who’s never encountered this before, and there’s a betterthan-slight chance that the person on the other side of your dorm is weirding you out with his spider collection. Don’t worry, we’re here to help. Here’s some UWeekly tips to diffuse a crazy roommate situation.

1. Acknowledge he or she is a little insane. One of the worst things you can do if you’re in a situation where your roommate is a little bonkers is pretending like everything is fine. The red flags are red flags; you’re not being paranoid or judgmental. Trust your instincts. Routinely puking in sinks or peeing out windows or sharpening a knife collection or standing over you breathing heavily as you drift off to sleep is not normal behavior. Your previous two decades of life experience are there for a reason; don’t try to convince yourself out of a worst-case scenario when it clearly is, and you’ll probably feel a lot better when you admit it to yourself.

2. Estimate the severity. Okay, you’ve understood your roommate is a tad bit off their rocker. It’s now time to figure out how worried you should be. Like anything, from puncture-wounds to figure skating, roommate insanity can range from

tracking systems very seriously. They’re a little more dangerous but still pretty harmless until you scoff at their beliefs or take suspicious photographs. But lastly there’s the criminally deranged roommate, the one you think only got into college by spiking the dean’s coffee. These ones may seem normal at first, until you come home to a scattering of white rose pedals on your bed and desk. These guys

Sure, he may dress funny, smell funny, speak in binary code, or whatever other oddities you may encounter, but he’s probably just looking for a friend. entertainingly harmless to apocalyptically serious. Hopefully you have the ‘goofy’ crazy roommate, the kind who sticks plungers to his side of the wall and exclusively wears sleeveless polos. This is actually a positive thing. It might seem weird now but you’ll understand his quirks, you’ll get a few great party stories, and, who knows, you might end up being great friends. There’s also the conspiracy roomie. This one might take the notion of alien abductions and government

may seem normal at first, but they carry an ominous mood of dread around their being, not unlike Norman Bates. They’re almost always an Aerospace Engineering major, and they probably have an Enemies List in their desk. If this is sounding familiar to you, run. If your name is on that list, run faster.

3. Attempt to make contact. Assuming you’re not in that criminally deranged situation (and if you are, may God

have mercy on your soul), the best way to keep a roommate relationship like this from going sour is just attempting to understand them. You have to remember, UT’s policy of letting strictly the top 10% of high school students into the college occasionally brings a couple of raisin cakes in. There are certain students who probably felt alienated, hated, and completely estranged by their high school community, but that didn’t stop them from getting that 4.6. Sure, he may dress funny, smell funny, speak in binary code, or whatever other oddities you may encounter, but he’s probably just looking for a friend. If you can offer him or her that friendship, you’ll be making a powerful (and possibly someday rich) ally. Think of it as an investment.

4. Prepare for war. So let’s say that doesn’t work out and your roommate isn’t interested with being friends with you or anybody and actively demeans whoever he comes in contact with on a minute-by-minute basis. You have two choices: Bite your tongue and hunker down, or steel yourself for a battle. don’t initiate contact and punch your roommate in the face, but, rather, try exerting authority in more

subtle ways. Put name tags on all of his food, draw a line through the center of the room with a sharpie, stencil pentagrams into his desk, put their books in reverse alphabetical order. This may make you one of the crazy ones, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Make him or her regret drawing out your worst qualities by matching his insanity. This could lead to a seismic blowup that may require upwards of 5 resident advisers to try and quell, but it could intimidate him into backing down. If you exceed your roommate’s compulsive behaviors, you may just make him feel inadequate.

5. Tell everyone. So after you make it through your year living inches from insanity, it’s now your job to immortalize your tale. Crazy roommate stories are like scars: Everyone wants to hear about them, and they can be compared to others. Grab a bunch of your friends, go to Spiderhouse next August, and spin them a yarn of your tribulations. It might make you feel better. After all, having a crazy roommate is like a rite of passage. In a couple years you might even be glad you had the experience.

Luke winkie

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Dayplanner

amanDa CHaPPel

Events on or around campus fIlm: clueless Kids of the 90’s, here’s your chance reminisce about your lost youth with this classic presentation featuring Alicia Silverstone, the late Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd. Wednesday Aug 31, UNB- Texas Union Theatre (UNB 2.228), 9:00 PM

QueeR welcome cARnIVAl Get your gay on with this festive carnival of activities and recreation. Come for the cotton candy, stay for the eye candy. Friday Sept 2nd, RecSports Center, 2nd Level, 5-9 PM

bookmARk sAle Bookmarks, aren’t they great? They hold your place when you’re reading a long tale, don’t take up too much space and always there when you need them (unless, of course, you lose them). If you’re missing something in your library, it’s a meticulously handcrafted bookmark made by iSchool students. Wednesday Aug 31, Perry-Castaneda Library (PCL) Plaza, 11 AM-4 PM

“eskIyA” (The bAndIT) The Turkish film series brings you the latest in a string of foreign films involving, you guessed it, the Middle East. After 35 years in prison, a Turkish man, Baran, seeks to find the woman he left behind. H o w romantic. Thursday Sept 8, Mezes Hall (MEZ) 2.124, 6-8 PM

The GReAT bIke AucTIon Need some wheels but don’t have the cash for that new Ferrari? Well come to the Trinity Garage bike auction and test out your wheeling and dealing skills (pun intended). Bikes sold as is. Sorry, kids, no refunds. Thursday Sept 1, Trinity Garage Rooftop, 5 PM

UWEEAKUSLTYIN

The Schedule Your guide to all things burnt orange.

is now ONLINE

ThursDAy, sePTeMBer 1

Men’s Track, UTSA, San Antonio, Texas

FriDAy, sePTeMBer 2

ay! Check it out tod

Women’s Soccer, UTSA, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

Women’s Volleyball, Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 7:00 PM

tin.c www.UWeeklyAus

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

sATurDAy, sePTeMBer 3

Football, Rice, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM Women’s Volleyball, Minnesota, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 7:00 PM

suNDAy, sePTeMBer 4

Photo: elijah watson

And be sure to check our facebook page for a chance to enter and win our weekly cash prizes!

Women’s Track, Johnny Morris UH Invite, Houston, Texas

Women’s Soccer, Dartmouth, Austin, Texas, 12:00 PM

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opInIon E

That’s what she said.

Photos and interviews by Brian Bogart

“what are you most looking forward to this Texas football season?”

“I’m looking forward to hanging out with my friends and supporting our longhorns!”

“Beating tech at home for my senior year.”

Taylor petree

kim wilson

Air it out dear university co-op, whiLe we ut students are no strangers to getting ripped off—I had to sell all my sperm and plasma just to afford a chicken fried steak at the Jester Cafeteria—I am weary of buying books from you. While I might enjoy the beginning of the semester riot of smashing my official Co-op guitar over someone’s head for the last folder with pockets and getting to pistol whip a bunch of freshman with my official Co-op burnt orange Mack Brown Edition revolver in order to get through to the U.S. history books, paying a hundred dollars for a book that I’m only going to partially read and will subsequently receive some Hamburger Helper coupons in exchange for giving it back is beyond usury. I’m tired of leaving your store and walking onto the drag wearing only a barrel. My auditing courses at the Church of Scientology next door were cheaper than my algebra workbook. What are you guys doing with all that money anyway? Stockpiling arms? Building an underground bunker for Bill Powers? Funding research for ways to make the food at the Taco Bell in the union not induce diarrhea? Well, like my crazy girlfriend who keeps

An Air It Out fAQ “Winning...a national championship would be nice but I don’t wanna aim too high.”

Anna fleury

“Getting a little better and regaining some of our former glory.”

katie ola

How to get us to actually print what you write. 1. everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. stay specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

a scrapbook of my hair, I just can’t seem to quit you. Where else am I going to saturate my life with so much burnt orange stuff that you can see me from space? I need my Bevoscented condoms, and no other stores sell my underwater bike polo textbook. I guess I’ll just resign myself to your insane monetary demands for my education, selling myself into indentured servitude for the next three thousand lifetimes.

sincerely,

broke college student 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. To Whom it May concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to airitout@ uweekly.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space. UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Photo:s elijah watson

The eyes of you are upon Texas What the Longhorn Network means for college football and the University of Texas Like a shiny new toy, Longhorns everywhere just can’t get enough of their new network, and who can blame them? After all, the University of Texas is the first, and so far only, school to actually have their own television station, something that seemed like a pipe dream a little over a year ago. But seeing as how “Texas means business,” it was only a matter of time until UT struck gold with a massive 20 year/$300 million contract with ESPN. Now, with people all over the nation gaining unprecedented access to Texas athletics, Longhorns everywhere are looking forward to what exactly this means for Bevo. The immediate recruiting advantages are easy enough to point out, and not just for football, as the LHN intends to feature a wide variety of Longhorn athletics on its station, and students all over campus are feeling the positive impact. “I think it’s pretty awesome, I pretty much live for college football and ESPN and stuff like that,” said junior James Owen, who was present at the launch party. “I think in the long run it will make people have a lot more pride for the school because it won’t just be showing basketball and football and stuff like that.”

Other students present at the network’s launch were also quick to point out that UT is the only school to have a nationally broadcasted television network to appease its widespread fan base. “I’m excited, cause we are the first college to have this legit sports network,” said UT student Reed Cozark. “But to be honest, I look forward to

about all of this national exposure for their rival. It’s even an acting catalyst for A&M’s potential move to the SEC and is causing OU to seek out a similar ESPN deal themselves, though on a much smaller scale. Then again, no one has ever claimed that Texas is in the rival-pleasing business. If other programs happen to be a little

“I think in the long run it will make people have a lot more pride for the school because it won’t just be showing basketball and football and stuff like that.” not watching it because I’m gonna be at the football games, but if I ever can’t make it I look forward to having this complete and total UT network.” Yet, it’s this very total and complete UT network that still remains a hot-button issue in college football right now, particularly with the other powers in the Big 12—namely Oklahoma and, to a lesser extent, A&M—who aren’t particularly happy

sour on the LHN launching, that only seems to add fuel to the flames of excitement that Longhorns all over are feeling. Roman Flores is a prime example of a Texas student who shares the same unbridled enthusiasm many on the 40 Acres have been feeling. “You know what? We may not win everything we do, but in the end we have our own network,

and that’s a huge accomplishment,” said Flores. “It’s that Texas pride, it makes me love UT even more… To know that I’m a part of this is truly life changing. What starts here really does change the world.” Besides just changing the lives of the students and athletes that attend the university, the LHN also changes the way we look at college sports. It’s the ultimate display of power, not just from the University of Texas, but college football powers everywhere. With Oklahoma looking for their own network, and other programs likely looking for a way to cash in themselves, Texas has once again set a precedent of acclaim that many programs hope desperately to someday achieve, but few ever will. With this network, Texas has ushered in a new era of its athletics program and has even further perpetuated the largest revenue-producing collegiate athletic brand in the country. For the umpteenth time now, Bevo has come out on top, but this time the eyes of the world will be on Texas. Stay tuned.

BRian BoGaRt

shelley bRomAn: “This football season is going to be awesome.”

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

The Highlight Reel

Photo: university of texas at austin athletics

In case you forgot just how European the sport of soccer is, look no further than how the sport handles its labor disputes. Here, we like to “lockout” our players; there, the players like to go on strike. Don’t believe me? Just last week, the Spanish soccer league, La Liga, was delayed a week due to a player’s strike, a matter that has since been thankfully resolved. The same can’t be said, however, for Italian soccer’s Serie A, which just started striking the day before the season was supposed to start. When in Rome, right? When Malcolm Brown gets his first touch of the football, you can definitely expect all of Burnt Orange Nation to erupt in thunderous cheers and applause. They will be cheering for the future of this program, as that is how Brown has been perceived ever since he was just a recruit with a verbal commitment to Texas. So, you know, no pressure or anything, Malcolm. Brown isn’t the only freshman running back who has been impressive all camp. Be sure to look out for Joe Bergeron to

get some significant touches of the ball as well. Even if he flew a bit under the radar on some of national recruiting websites, the dude can flat out run people over and rarely gets brought down by only one player. Bergeron has been so impressive, even, that the coaches are thinking about using him, Brown, and Fozzy Whittaker as the Longhorn’s every-down backs with guys like DJ Monroe and Cody Johnson providing package play for specialty situations. From the looks of it, ladies and gentlemen, this Texas running game has done about a complete 180 from last year, but the weight will fall heavily on the shoulders of the freshmen. Do you think the NCAA is even going to touch the 49 pairs of shoes the police reportedly apprehended from LSU quarterback and second-degree batterycommitting enthusiast, Jordan Jefferson? If a college athlete having 49 pairs of shoes doesn’t scream “illegal benefits,” I don’t know what does, but thankfully the NCAA may have, for once, figured LSU was having enough of its own problems right now and

won’t kick a guy when he’s down...kind of in the same way Jefferson apparently kicked a guy in the face while he was on the down, but that’s neither here nor there. If you’re looking for a sexy team to pick for a national championship game appearance, look no further than the Stanford Cardinal. This team has been knocking on the door of prominence for the last couple years now, and with Andrew Luck giving up potentially being the number one overall pick in the NFL draft to return for another season with the Cardinal, you can bet people in Palo Alto have high hopes for the coming season.

BRian BoGaRt lA lIGA: Argentina Lionel Messi was elected winner of the Golden Ball while playing in La Liga in 2009 and 2010 (Barcelona)

Oh no they didn’t The nastiest uniforms in sports sOMe sAy it’s about how you play the game. These people are only partially correct, for they are woefully neglecting a crucial component of sports: aesthetics. A good uniform can make all the difference. After all, while only one team wins the championship, every team has to wear a jersey. Fans want to be able to show their pride with pride. But if you’re pulling for any of the teams below, that’s an impossibility.

chArLOTTe BOBcATs: Pinstripes and basketball don’t mix well. Throw in a perplexing pseudo-Halloween color scheme (navy blue instead of black) without any redeeming logo and you’ve got a recipe for the NBA’s worst uniform.

MiAMi DOLPhiNs, ALTerNATe: Construction workers everywhere should do away with vests and instead don this uniform. It’s harder to miss than an extra point. I use this color to emphasize important sentences in my textbooks. This is the color the women of “Jersey Shore” aspire to. Yes, it’s that bad.

sAN DieGO PADres cAMO:

vANcOuver cANucks, 1981: It resembles a skydive jumpsuit. Luckily for skydivers, nobody can see them. It may even be the botched beginnings of a discarded superhero getup. I could also see myself wearing this as a sweatshirt on an album cover circa 1973 (I’d be cuddled by an open fire with feathered hair and a big, creepy grin). At any rate, whatever this is, it does not involve hockey.

TAMPA BAy BuccANeers, 1983: What happens when you combine burnt orange done wrong and a pedophilic pirate? The Bucs jersey; and boy is it ungodly. This jersey doesn’t even have letters on it. But based on the other aspects of this uni, that may not be a bad thing.

Ryan BetoRi

W yO M i N G cOW B Oys , F O O T B A L L : To put it bluntly, the Cowboys uniform looks like something that was conjured from a port-a-potty. Next to whoever designed this uniform, the creator of the Cleveland Browns jerseys looks like Ralph Lauren. Cowboys are supposed to be rugged, but these uniforms just stink.

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Hall of Shame:

The Padres wanted to honor our nation’s military by rocking camo uniforms. Americans everywhere should pat the Padres on the back while mouthing “nice try.” There are better ways to honor the military than wearing the worst jerseys in baseball. The diamond is not the battlefield. Leave camo to the real pros.

NeW cAsTLe uNiTeD Fc: One positive quality about the New Castle United FC jersey is its estimable history: the jersey has been more or less the same since 1894. Unfortunately, that’s the only quality about the United FC jersey worth any praise. Whether it’s 1894 or 2011, dressing like a zebra is a bad idea.

ANAheiM Ducks: The worst part about the Ducks uniform is thinking what should have been. The Ducks, named after Disney’s The Mighty Ducks,, were given uniform gold yet have let themselves decline to jersey welfare. Instead of sticking with the classic Mighty Ducks uniforms, the team decided to go for an edgier look that involves a bland logo, a repulsive color scheme and absolutely no homage to what was perhaps the greatest Disney series ever. Deep in some parallel universe, my ten-year-old self feels the bloodlust boiling as he vows revenge on everyone even remotely associated with this uniform.

propaganda. Aggies lose again. Even that damn “&” makes me cringe.

TeXAs A&M, BAskeTBALL: Let’s face it, maroon is hideous. That’s why it’s not a good idea to smother it all over a jersey. Matters were just made worse by A&M’s font choice, which looks like the sickly bastard child of Middle Age scribes and 20th Century USSR

Huge Baseball News we’re Less than a month remoVed from the MLB draft signing deadline, which resulted in Texas losing high school studs Matt Dean, Josh Bell and Blake Swihart to enormous signing bonuses. Although the Horns got left-handed starting pitcher Sam Stafford back, Texas’ lineup missed out on some offensive game changers. Recently, the Horns got some good news that could be an enormous boost and help lessen the blow of the players lost to professional contracts. Late last week, class of 2012 Texas commitment c.J. hinojosa of Klein Collins High School informed his high school coaching staff that his decision was made; he’s going into this fall semester of his senior year with the intention that it will be his last. For the Longhorns, that’s enormous news. Hinojosa, rated as the No. 13 player overall by PerfectGame.org, is planning on jogging on to UFCU Disch-Falk Field wearing burnt orange a little earlier than anticipated. He’s planning on being a Longhorn this season. “You know, I came into the summer knowing it was something that Texas wanted me to do, but I wasn’t for sure,” Hinojosa told Orangebloods.com. “Then, summer finished. I had a great summer. I enjoyed it. It (idea of enrolling early) came back up and I decided, ‘Hey, the opportunity is on the table and there is no reason to pass it up.’ It just came out that I was fortunate enough I was taking the right classes.” It didn’t always look like the 5-11, 180-pound right-hander was going to go through with the plan to enroll early. However, the ball started rolling in the right direction for the Horns late this summer. “It came up last year right around the end of the first semester. I was going to do it, and I ended up backing out,” stated Hinojosa, who was a member of the 14U and 16U Team USA National Teams. “I never really looked into it. That was the thing. And then right before school started, I got a phone call. I got a phone call from coach Harmon a couple of weeks ago. I really thought about it, and it was something I really wanted to do. I looked into it and realized it was a possibility. I went and talked to my counselor. She said, ‘You can do it. Just have to buckle down and do it now.’ It wasn’t something that was outrageously unable to be done. I’m hoping it all finishes well. It’s a decision my family and I really thought about. It was the decision best for me.” Obviously, this decision wouldn’t have been made if it wasn’t already looked into extensively. Hinojosa boasts a very strong GPA, already has a qualifying SAT score and just has to finish out strong. “If all goes as planned, I’ll finish my online classes

“There are different ballplayers all around. I’ve faced some and haven’t faced others. A fastball is a fastball and a curveball is a curveball; you just [have] to hit it. I’m just ready to go out and show them what I’ve got. I want to win a title.” here in the next couple of months,” the infielder from Spring, Texas stated. “High school wise I’ll just have to finish my semester, and once I pass my classes it will be a go. My 16.5 hours (that are required) will be done at the end of this semester.” When you’re an all-American at the high school level like Hinojosa is, you probably expect to play early. However, this stud prospect isn’t taking anything for granted. He wants to work. “I’m going in as an infielder, and that’s how I’ll take it,” Hinojosa said. “I’m just coming in and going to give it my all and play the game that I’ve played since I’m I’ve been three-and-ahalf. Hopefully, when that first game comes in spring, I’ll be in lineup. I’m going to go in [as] the youngin’ and I have to go in and show pitchers they want me out there playing any position Texas wants me to. Nothing is given, and that’s understandable, especially a guy like me that is enrolling early.” The competition from countless select tournaments prepares players like Hinojosa and gives them the ability to adjust right away. Still, he’s just going to keep it simple the moment he arrives at Texas. “There are different ballplayers all around,” replied Hinojosa when asked if the high level of

competition he’s played helps him. “I’ve faced some and haven’t faced others. A fastball is a fastball and a curveball is a curveball; you just [have] to hit it. I’m just ready to go out and show them what I’ve got. I want to win a title.” The long-time Texas commitment is very familiar with UT’s storied program. He knows already what the bar is in Austin. His final message: “I’m going to be on the 40 Acres. I’m excited to put on the burnt orange and do everything

9.95 monthly

I can to get a starting spot. I want to bring a national championship to Austin next season.” Hinojosa gives the Longhorns an elite bat that can hit in the middle of the order with some pop along with an excellent glove that could earn him a starting shot at shortstop. Immediately, he’s expected to be a heavy contributor.

DuStin mCComaS oRanGeBlooDS.Com StaFF

99.95 annually UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Photo: Keith Allison

NBA lockout breeds new form of ball What do Kevin Durant and Babe Ruth have in common? During the beginning of summer, when the NFL lockout was looming large, the most interesting news coming from the NFL involved words that one should hear only in law school: arbitration, mediation, collective bargaining, etc. With these words comprising headlines, it was a sad state of affairs for NFL fans. And the one word that was missing from the headlines? Football. The game itself had suddenly become extinct while all the games of greed, money, and power that have come to surround football became magnified. As a result, some NFL players showed themselves to be more desperate than fans for football to return. But it wasn’t because of the money they might lose; it was because they, too, were being barred from the game they love. Though the NBA is currently in the midst of a lockout very similar to the one the NFL just resolved, both NBA fans and players are finding themselves far less desperate than their NFL counterparts. Football was dead during the NFL lockout, but in the throes of NBA suspension, basketball is still alive and bouncing, even for the pros. Thanks to pro-am leagues like L.A.’s Drew League, D.C.’s Goodman League, and, to a lesser extent, Baltimore’s Melo League, high-level basketball didn’t even have to pick up its dribble. Based in impoverished areas, the Drew and Goodman leagues were originally conceived in the ’70s and ’80s as an organized means for neighborhood kids to play basketball and avoid trouble. Over time, the leagues gathered a larger presence and scope, eventually becoming pro-am leagues, leagues for professionals and amateurs alike. This summer’s NBA lockout has given these leagues a unique opportunity to rise from obscurity to noteworthy. Networks such as ESPN are covering the results of games, and YouTube is littered with the leagues’ highlights. NBA superstars such as Kevin Durant, Brandon Jennings, James Harden, John Wall, Carmelo Anthony, LeBron James,

and Chris Paul are participating. Last week, when the Drew (L.A.) and Goodman (D.C.) leagues faced off for coastal bragging rights, it was in front of a packed gym of 1,500 (allegedly, hundreds to thousands of fans were turned away at the door). Although the score was a net-burning 135-134 in favor of the Goodman League, the basketball showcased wasn’t lazy; it was competitive and captivating. By all standards, it appears these leagues have reached a type of zenith. After all, never before has a professional exhibition game been so exciting. Never before has a professional exhibition game been, dare I say it, relevant. Well, at least not in the last 100 years or so. What is happening this summer in the grizzled, over-capacity gyms of L.A., D.C., and Baltimore parallels baseball barnstorming in the early 20th century. During their offseason, stars such as Babe Ruth and Ted Williams would travel around the country and play games at locally run, small-town fields. (Ever heard of Rutland, Vermont? Didn’t think so.) The games would often involve a mesh of local talent and professional legends playing together. Imagine seeing your brother, the best player in town, pitching against Babe Ruth. Although there are few left living, bystanders at those barnstorming games seem to unanimously qualify the games as a once-in-a-lifetime, almost transcendent experience. The Drew, Goodman, and Melo leagues are offering to local fans everything that barnstorming did so many years ago. Although the experience may not be quite as magical (we can watch our favorite athletes on TV any time; early 20th century fans had no such luxury), in many ways, for today’s day and age, it makes more sense. These summer league games embody the entertainment movement of the 21st century, where the barriers to entry are lowered and everybody can get involved. With a MacBook, the Average Joe of

Shouldn’t we, the fans, the consumers, be involved on a level that renders us more as participants than voyeurs?

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

today can mash up a song of his own with a Notorious B.I.G. tune. A movie buff can edit Apocalypse Now to make his own short film. Fan fiction enables Harry Potter fans to create their own alternate endings. In other words, the distinction between professionals and amateurs is becoming increasingly obfuscated. So why not sports? Shouldn’t we, the fans, the consumers, be involved on a level that renders us more as participants than voyeurs? This is what these summer leagues are giving us. Professionals may be the draw, but amateurs are playing right alongside them. There’s also a streetball aspect of these games that invites a much greater fan involvement. At an NBA game, one is far from the action.

But in these tiny gyms you’re right on top of the game. The players can hear your personal yell. It has more of an affect than it ever could in a large arena, and, as a result, you’ve directly contributed to the game’s action. Make no mistake: the NBA will be back next season and these games will never even approach the excitement the NBA generates. But still, these games have proven to be much more than a gimmick or cheap distraction. In the decrepit gyms of South Central and East D.C., something has occurred that’s unique and spectacular, and, above all, perfectly tailored to the 21st century desire to participate. To the NBA lockout I extend my gratitude.

Ryan Betori

Photos: university of texas athletics Department

Training camp report card With a season opener against Rice looming, how do the Horns compare to last year?

in case you weren’t aware, the 2010 football season was something of a cosmic disaster for the Texas Longhorns. Fresh off of a national championship game appearance, the Longhorns entered Mack Brown’s 13th season with high expectations, as they always have since Brown first began his tenure at Texas back in 1998, but what the Longhorns got was something we haven’t seen in a long time: a cursed season. Blame it on the lack of accountability, blame it on the number 13, blame it on the uninspired play of the offense, blame it on the coaching staff, blame it on who- or whatever, because none of it matters anymore. After that infamous 5-7 campaign, Mack wanted to make it clear that there would be no more excuses and no more margin for error as he replaced virtually every coaching position on his staff and declared all spots on the depth chart open for competition. To say this was a big off-season for the Horns would be putting it mildly. This off-season wasn’t just big, it was historic, it was era-ushering, and, at times, it was larger than life. But as the dust begins to settle from training camp, and Texas’s dance with Rice looms on the horizon, just how ready are our Longhorns? I’m grading the offensive and defensive camps to give you a better idea of where Bevo stands in this year’s college football landscape.

OFFeNse Without trying to point fingers (purposefully, anyway), last year’s collapse

began and ended with the offense. There were plenty of reasons in between, but the offensive unit was one that seemed to not only lack any real play-makers, but consistently failed to move the chains as well. Many pointed fingers at Greg Davis for his characteristically conservative play-calling, and whether or not it was all Davis’s fault, Mack made an executive decision and scoped out Bryan Harsin, a man very familiar with moving the chains as Boise State’s offensive coordinator, and brought him to Texas. While Harsin, who is going to be cocoordinator with our very own Major Applewhite, no doubt has a brilliantly creative offensive brain, his is the kind of offense that takes time to properly implement. Luckily for those on the 40 Acres, though, reports out of training camp claim that Harsin and Applewhite got along swimmingly as offensive minds and the players on offense have responded in kind with a level of enthusiasm that was unseen last year. Scrimmage reports have even indicated that Texas has been able to effectively run the ball down the throat of the defense, something that has been virtually unheard of since the departure of Cedric Benson and Jamaal Charles. This new-found dedication to the run can also be credited to new offensive line coach Stacy Searles, who has done a real number on our big boys up front, a unit that was seriously lacking in inspired play last year. That just leaves the big question mark at

quarterback. While it took almost the entire summer for the quarterbacks to separate (as well as a high public demand to start incoming freshman David Ash for his impressive camp), it looks like Garrett Gilbert has indeed gotten the nod to start against Rice. It had been a pretty even four-way battle between Gilbert, Ash, Case McCoy, and Connor Wood, but it looks like the coaches are siding with experience and feel that Gilbert is the man who will put the Horns in the best position to win. There will be a much smaller margin for error, however, as UT fans likely won’t have to watch a quarterback throw five picks in a game without getting pulled like last year, but here’s to hoping it never comes to that. One thing you can bank on in this new offense, though? It may not always work, but it sure as hell won’t be boring to watch, and should improve steadily as the season goes on. GrADe: B

DeFeNse It probably took some of the Longhorn faithful a good amount of time to get over Will Muschamp’s departure as defensive coordinator, but what people are just now starting to realize is that in new defensive coordinator, Manny Diaz, we got ourselves something of a Cuban Will Muschamp. Diaz, like Muschamp, loves to hit the quarterback,

loves to blitz, and encourages aggressive play from his safeties. Sound familiar? Even if Diaz was something of an unknown commodity heading into this season, given that he was coaching at relatively obscure Mississippi State (well, relatively obscure for the SEC anyway), but the numbers speak for themselves. 22nd in the nation in scoring defense, 17th in rushing defense, and 17th in tackles for loss, in one season, in the SEC, and with Mississippi State-level talent. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m part Cuban myself, but I’m expecting big things from both Diaz and this Texas defensive unit as a whole. If there is one major Achilles’ heel that needs to be addressed, it is the interior strength of the defensive line. There’s definitely talent there, but it’s just a matter of sorting out who can play alongside Kheeston Randall and be consistently dominant in stopping the run, which was a big problem for the Horns last year. With a slew of young defensive players finally coming into their own, however, there should be a much crisper defense than last year and you can expect it to be a very entertaining unit to watch, but it will be up to the offense to give the D some rest between action and keep them fresh. GrADe: A-

BRian BoGaRt UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Emo’s big move is nothing to get emo about An Austin institution finds a new home on the East Side the Emo’s Lounge, which was eventually sold to make room for the Mexican restaurant El Sol y La Luna. During it’s stint at 6th and Red River, Emo’s hosted such notable acts as Johnny Cash, Wu-Tang Clan, The Kings of Leon and The Mars Volta. The venue has even served as a launchpad for many household names, including Explosions in the Sky, Spoon, and I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness. It has been a bastion for marquee names in the entertainment industry for more than a decade, but the tides have been turning in Austin for some time now. Medium-capacity venues like The Parish and Mohawk have been popping up on the downtown musical landscape, with things that Hendrix says Emo’s just can’t offer to artists. “Emo’s is not the House of Blues,” Hendrix says, referencing the chain

“It’s going to be something that, musically, will be on par with the moody Theatre, the music hall.”

of premiere music venues. “The situation we were running into with bands was that they were requiring more in the way of production than we had in our outside room. The outside room at Emo’s back in 1877 was a livery stable so those buildings were never designed to do what we do.” While the venue continues to see plenty of horseplay, Hendrix and Co. wanted to continue attracting top name talent. And to do that, an upgrade was needed. “We were afraid we were going to be sitting there on Red River and would go the way of CBGBs and be talking about back in the day and the good ol’ days and become a t-shirt emporium or a museum.” The solution? A Michael Hsu-led remodel of the old Back Room, a venue that closed in 2007. The new venue was inspired by the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C., the

Knitting Factory in New York City and the Music Room in Las Vegas’ Hard Rock Hotel. It will boast a laundry room and showers for bands, 85 tons of air conditioning and, most importantly for a music venue, a $200,000 PA system. “We’re excited about it,” Hendrix says. “It’s going to be something that, musically, will be on par with the Moody Theatre, the Music Hall.” “It’s like Emo’s Plus,” he adds with a laugh. Some long-time Emo’s fans have expressed Photos Courtesy the austin Chronicle

the historic emo’s aLternatiVe Lounge will celebrate its 20th birthday in a brand new location. The club will open its new location on East Riverside on Sept. 11, with plans to close the historic outside room by the year’s end. The inside room will remain open but current owner Frank Hendrix said he and his team are trying to decide what to do with the outside room. The first Emo’s club was opened by David Thomson and Eric “Emo” Hartman in 1989 in Houston and was followed three years later by the opening of the seminal Austin venue in 1992. The Houston club was closed in 2001 but the Austin incarnation kept pace with the city’s burgeoning music scene. In 2000, Hartman sold the club to Frank Hendrix and it continued to thrive. At it’s largest, the venue operated Emo’s Outside, Emo’s Jr. and

Photo: Sarah vasquez

concern that the new venue will lack the classic “Emo’s feel.” In response to these comments, Hendrix has said that maintaining the “Emo’s brand” is one of his top priorities as he and his team navigate the delicate moving process. Hendrix said the new location will have the vibe of an Austin Music Hall or Moody Theatre “with a little more coolness.” “It’s not going to have the generic sterile vibe that those places have,” he said. “It’s going to have some of that Emo’s energy.” Mike Wiebe sings in the Austin-by-way-ofDenton punk rock group Riverboat Gamblers. Many of his band’s milestone moments have been on Emo’s outside stage. In June the band performed for an installment of the Emo’s Summer Boat Party Series. Wiebe is also tied to the venue from the days when he used to bartend there. During the recording of his band’s breakthrough album Something to Crow About, Wiebe

Photo: elijah watson

was able to pick up bartending shifts when he wasn’t at the studio. He is still technically listed as an employee, although when he goes to the venue now, it’s usually in a different capacity. “The first time we headlined there I remember being really nervous about it,” Wiebe says. A poor pre-sale had Wiebe worried that his band’s headlining debut on the historic stage would prove to be a historic flop. The show went on and by the time Wiebe’s band took the stage, the room was packed. “That was a really important night and a really special night that was really packed out,” he says. Wiebe said Hendrix is right on with his desire to lure marquee names with amenities like showers and off-shore power for buses. “If there is an option in a town between a place that has that stuff and a place that doesn’t, you’ll definitely jump for it,” Wiebe says. It appears booking agents are taking note of the venue’s new-found amenities. The venue’s grand opening on Sept. 11 will appropriately feature Austin legends The Butthole Surfers, Queensryche, J. Cole, and Cavalera Conspiracy are all scheduled to perform in the venue’s first month.

BRett tHoRne

Top 5 Emo’s Moments

march 17, 1994 - Johnny cash plays a sXsw set at emo’s to two hundred people. his direct support for the show was a skinny blonde kid named beck.

one week during midmarch eVery year - the

line of fans that invariably ends up wrapped around the venue during sXsw is testament enough to its status as an austin institution.

may 23, 2008 - foxboro hot tub, green day’s garage-rock band plays emo’s to a sold out crowd. fans began lining up at 4 a.m. for a chance to see the pop punk elder statesman in person.

3 4

aLways - anytime anyone mentions how terrible the bathrooms at emo’s are. ever.

dec. 11, 2010 - the wu-tang clan reunion comes to emo’s along with a capacity crowd who knew that “if you want beef, bring the ruckus. wu-tang clan ain’t nothing to…” you know the rest. UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

41 East Cinema41 and Cinema East are filling the gaps left in the Austin film scene sometimes you can’t haVe too much of a good thing. There seems to be no better evidence for this than Austin’s film scene. From indie and offbeat at the Alamo Drafthouse to the perennial classics of Austin Cinematheque, Austin’s film scene seems to have all the film bases thoroughly covered. Nevertheless, there are two newcomers in town that are taking film outside of the limitations of the theater while giving the audience a complete new level of engagement with film. These venues are Cinema East and Cinema41.

cInemA41

Comprised of a ragtag group of film school graduates and movie buffs, Cinema41, even in its infancy, has already left its mark on Austin’s culture map. Each month a member of the collective chooses a theme and screens two films that are associated with that theme. Likewise,

Cinema41 prides itself on screening the mostoverlooked contemporary and independent films of our time. “We focus on films that have sort of fallen beneath the cracks,” said head programmer Ryan Darbonne. “We showcase a lot of films from the ’80s and ’90s that lingered in the shadows of other cult movies of that same time.” In addition, Cinema41 isn’t your grandma’s night out at Terror Tuesday. One of the group’s main intention is to give the audience that film school education and experience without them having to take out any loans. Recently, the organization brought in a professor of psychology to psychoanalyze a film after the screening. “We try and make our screenings go beyond the usual Q and A that other organizations do,” said Darbonne. “We want to give people something more than just the surface value information of the film.” Indeed, the group is doing just this, taking the film off the screen and into our daily lives. The group will be bringing in a private investigator to discuss his experience in tandem with a pair of noir screenings in September.

Nevertheless, while anyone with a pulse can lock themselves in their apartment for days and experience any part of film history, the social aspect of film screenings seems to be just a large part of Cinema41’s manifesto as they tirelessly work “to sustain a communal film culture here in Austin.” “I think a big part of the film-going experience is experiencing it on a large screen with others,” said Darbonne. “And in the age of movie torrenting, I think sustaining that communal cinema experience is essential.” More information regarding screenings and how to support the organization can be found at www.wix.com/cinema41/cinema41

cInemA eAsT

For the even more deft social butterfly who loves film, there is Cinema East. Unlike Cinema41, the organization screens current independent features that have made the rounds on the film festival circuit recently. “Cinema East is an all-inclusive festival that brings normally exclusive films to a wide audience in a fun outdoor environment,” said

“we try and make our screenings go beyond the usual Q and A that other organizations do. we want to give people something more than just the surface value information of the film.”

Cinema East founder Maggie Lea. While the average moviegoer might be turned off by the words “independent film,” the screenings are highly eclectic and appeal to any moviegoer’s taste buds. “It appeals to casual film-goers as much as it does to the industry. Our audience is always mixed, varied, and very responsive.” Likewise, the organization remodels the movie-going experience, taking their screenings out of the sugar-coated floors of the theater and into nature, even onto the lawn of the French Legation Museum. At the same time, Cinema East engages the other senses with DJs spinning music that is related to the films, as well as providing mobile bistros from the HOPE Farmers Market for all your gastronomical needs. At the end of the day, Cinema East is trying to create a fresh experience to watching film: an experience that unites moviegoers and filmmakers alike through the power of food, film, and fun. “I think the Cinema East experience is a great way to spend a super chill Sunday night with good food and an easy-going environment,” adds Lea. “An environment that takes the formalities and gulf away from the filmmakers and its audience.” More information regarding Cinema East and their screening schedule can be found at www.cinemaeastaustin.com

william BaSS

Photo: Ben Sklar

Stealing the show Bands struggle to fight thieves matt Parmenter, bassist for Austin band Quiet Company, pulled into his apartment complex last September to find the doors to his band’s trailer wide open. Parmenter’s heart sank immediately. Five guitars and Parmenter’s entire bass rig had been stolen from the trailer in what Parmenter called a “smash and grab” job. “They were only able to get the front layer of stuff that was easy to just grab and throw in a car,” Parmenter said. Gear theft is an all-too-common occurrence and the issue recently gained national prominence when Alaskan psych-rockers ‘Portugal. The Man’ were the victims of a theft that left them without a trailer or any equipment after their Lollapalooza set. The band’s fans took to Twitter and Facebook, and, after creating a serious internet buzz that ended with #PortugalTheMan as a trending topic, the band was able to recover their trailer and some of the gear. Most bands are not as lucky. Quiet Company was fortunate the thieves did not stick around to grab more equipment, but the loss of gear threw a serious wrench in the band’s upcoming tour commitments. “We were about a week out from going on a ten-day tour up to Chicago and back,” Parmenter said. “We couldn’t cancel the tour and we were in a terrible mood because our stuff was gone and we hadn’t really gotten over the emotional end of losing our stuff.” Enter Austin’s music-loving community.

The band utilized their strong social media presence to alert fans and friends of their unfortunate situation. Parmenter said that through donations, the band was able to “strongly offset the loss.” The band hit the road with a trailer full of borrowed gear and the tour proceeded as planned. “Any determined thief is going to find a way to get your stuff,” Parmenter said. Jake Smith, guitarist for San Marcos thrashrockers SAYSAYSAY, found this out the hard way. Smith returned from his job at Shakespeare’s Bar at 3 a.m. on the morning of August 1, and

said he is hopeful the gear will be recovered but the band is making plans for a benefit show to help offset some of the costs. Veneza Aguiñaga of APD’s public information office said as long as it is clear that a trailer holds musical equipment, it will be hard to deter thieves, so subtlety is key. Aguiñaga also recommended etching serial numbers into instruments and equipment wherever possible and insuring everything. “You’re actually hurting people here,” Parmenter said. “It’s not like some faceless corporations or big-name bands who have a ton of money. These are guys who are paying out-of-pocket to go on tour.” Smith and Parmenter are both quick to praise Austin’s music community for the outpouring of support they received. “The coolest thing about it is that growing up in Houston, the music scene is so dead that I don’t think anybody would have responded to it the way Austin has,” Smith said. “I felt like the people cared actually. People in Austin can understand what it would be like to lose, like, seven years of their lives.” Parmenter’s experience left him with a similar feeling. “If you’re going to get ripped off, Austin is not a half-bad place to get ripped off because so many people care so much about musicians here,” Parmenter said.

“As long as it is clear that a trailer holds musical equipment, it will be hard to deter thieves, so subtlety is key.” was shocked by what he saw. More accurately, it was what Smith didn’t see that floored him. The trailer which he had left angled against a fence so as to deter thieves, was gone, and with it, $10,000 worth of amps, guitars and other music gear. Smith’s mind began racing as he considered the implications. After his first expletive-filled thoughts subsided and he finished his panicky pacing, Smith called the police. An officer arrived within 45 minutes, and an hour later, a report was written and was circulated to every on-duty officer. Twenty-four hours later, Austin Police located the band’s cleaned-out trailer. Smith

BRett tHoRne

Top 5 Gear Safety Tips

Get Insurance. No matter what it costs, it is probably not worth the pain of losing that 1969 Gibson SG Custom it took you an entire summer to save up for.

Spend money on locks. However many locks it takes to secure your trailer, spend the money.

Practice maneuvering your van and trailer so it is difficult to detach the trailer from the van.

Avoid leaving gear in the van. Not only is extreme heat bad for instruments, you can keep an eye on your equipment when it is right next to you.

Know your serial numbers. Writing down a few numbers now will save you a big headache later. UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Photo: Jon Bolden // jonbolden.com

Moving on up How Out of Bounds and Austin Comedy is proving you don’t need to live in L.A. to be great Comedy is no longer an underdog in Austin. It’s now home to upwards of three national festivals without including SXSW, our theater system is vast, our performers are notorious, and the critical buzz seems to escalate every day. The city may not rank with the metropolises like New York or Los Angeles, but we’re certainly not too far down the totem pole. Most people would be happy with these distinctions, but for people like Michael Jastroch, the publicist for Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, it isn’t enough. “We really want to show the rest of the country what’s happening here in Austin,” said Jastroch. “Right now we’re more of a training ground on how to become to be a really great performer, but I think there’s a huge explosion of attention coming.” Jastroch came to Out of Bounds as a performer, but three years ago after a vacancy surfaced, he took a role as an organizer. He speaks directly and passionately about Austin comedy, staunchly enthusiastic about the scene he helped start. When asked where he wanted to see Out of Bounds go in the future, the first things out of his mouth was, “a film premier would be nice.” He’s still working on a lot of dreams, including the festival. But he’s certainly seen Out of Bounds explode. Beginning in 2002 as a way to unite Texas comedy and get some national attention, the pre-Labor Day event now spans a solid 7 days, this year expecting 500 performers in 80 shows across a wide variety of venues. While these venues usually spend their weeks competing with each other, Coldtowne, Velveeta, The Hideout and The State all join forces to welcome a laundry list, ranging from a heavy dose of local acts to national troupes, and even a couple international performers. The week’s headliner? San Francisco’s Greg Proops, best known as a mainstay on the legendary “Whose Line is it Anyway.” Not bad for something that started off so modest.

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

“I think honestly we benefit from not having a looming presence like Hollywood hanging over the city,” said Jastroch. “People out here are less involved in the scene as a commodity; they’re doing it for the art, for the love of performing, not because they hope it might lead to something lucrative. Nobody is going to get world-famous in Austin, and we’re alright with that.” That attitude might sound more like a settlement than an M.O., but it certainly defines the fertility of the collective. Most mid-sized towns would be lucky to have a single theater, much less a comprehensive network. The way Jastroch describes it, the members of the scene share true friendships on personal and creative levels. “I’ve seen people who didn’t know each

“We’ve got a very specific improv identity,” added Jastroch. “Most cities with a theater system are very segregated; they don’t like to mix with each other, or its just one style of improv. We’re the only city in the country that houses all different strains from short-form improv, sketch, long-form, character-based improv, narrative improv. That just doesn’t happen in most cities, but here everything is very open. We like to encourage our performers to take classes from everyone they can find, and broaden their style.” It’s not to say there isn’t competition—that’s just part of the industry—but the unison and dedication within Austin’s repertoire adds up to a very healthy environment.

“People out here are less involved in the scene as a commodity; they’re doing it for the art, for the love of performing, not because they hope it might lead to something lucrative. Nobody is going to get world-famous in Austin, and we’re alright with that.” other a year ago become best friends and writing partners,” said Jastroch. “It’s too scatter shot in other cities. Here we all know each other, coach each other, direct each other, go to the same parties. Its organic.” A community like this seems rare in an industry increasingly defined by viral-videos and internet self-promotion. But within this community, there’s great diversity.

People are definitely taking notice. Performance comedy isn’t exactly known for being much more than a niche genre, but within that niche Austin has drawn a lot of one-off bookings, from Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) to Second City Network. “The acts that come through here are blown away by just how our audiences understand what they’re doing, they just ‘get it,’” said

Jastroch. It’s something that requires familiarity, and some general enthusiasm for something a little offbeat. Of course there is a higher concentration of this stuff than there used to be; we’re talking Hell Yes Fest, Wafflefest, and the Austin Sketch Festival all operating around the same time. There aren’t too many cities you can think of with that many yearly events, and redundancy becomes an obvious issue. They all offer their own hooks, the specificness of Sketch Fest, or even free waffles at Wafflefest, but there’s bound to be a little head-butting. Jastroch seems to acknowledge all of this, but doesn’t consider it a huge issue. “It’s like a bunch of rock bands, we all share members and performers. Sure there’s a lot of stuff going on, but there are always more stages and more shows to be performed.” All of that sounds really idyllic, but Jastroch understands that this is a business at the end of the day. “I’d like to see a little industry presence going forward,” he admits, almost guiltily, but that’s mainly a quest for enlightenment. “I want people to know and see all the amazing performers we have here, and that you don’t need a lot of imdb credits to be great.”

Luke Winkie

Watching a movie from your backseat Drive-in movie theatre brings ’60s nostalgia to east Austin bLue starLite mini urban driVe-in Theatre originated from an anniversary. Josh Frank’s six-month anniversary with his girlfriend was approaching and he needed a creative way to celebrate it. With a pair of drive-in movie speakers he owned and an empty lot next to Starving Arts Studios on E. Cesar Chavez Street where he worked, he decided to set up a small drive-in theater. “One day I was back here, I was thinking how I could fit a drive-in movie theater back here, like a really small one. I was just playing with the idea,” said Frank. Now a year later, Frank will celebrate the first anniversary of his drive-in theater on Aug. 31 and Sept. 1. After he created the theater, he decided to keep showing films by inviting his friends. “I started thinking, ‘I wonder how many cars I could actually fit back here,’” said Frank. “So I went online. I bought a couple more of these drive-in speaker set-ups. I put a couple more up and invited my friends for a drive-in thing and they loved it.” The idea quickly caught on after that. “Artists started asking where they could buy tickets,” said Frank. “I discovered without really meaning to that people in this city really wanted a little drive-in movie theater.” Frank, who has written two books (including one about The Pixies), runs the theater with a small staff, which is one of the things he does when he’s not writing. “Basically, I’ve always come up with little fun businesses to pay the bills while I work on my writing, which the paychecks are few and far between,” said Frank. “As I’ve been working on my writing projects, I’ve been doing this as well. So this is kind of taking over and just as much my main job as the writing.” The theater, which is tucked in between Starving Arts Studios and Plaza San Raul, currently fits 18 cars with a front seating area comprised of various chairs and antique children cars that Frank has

Photo: Sarah vasquez

been collecting for years. “I’m always trying to improve the feel and idea of the drive-in,” said Frank. Blue Starlite shows films ranging from drivein classics such as American Graffiti to childhood favorites such as Ghostbusters and teams with Austin Books and Comics bookstore for the

show Grease and Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, which were the first films he showed at the theater. They were chosen for their drive-in movie scenes. “Grease was (chosen) because it was from that era of drive-ins,” said Frank. ”I love to show movies that take place at a drive-in. I know every

“I discovered without really meaning to that people in this city really wanted a little drive-in movie theater.” Hot and Nerdy Film Series. “We’ve done four great events with them,” said Frank. “One of them, we had the star of the movie Clerks, the guy who played the character Dante. He came, introduced the film.” For the anniversary, Frank plans to

movie that has a drive-in in it and we have it.” While Frank does the majority of the programming, some of the employees also get to throw in their suggestions. “They kind of have chosen their nights that they want to program and be in charge of. So

we actually are, little by little, starting to have programmers,” said Frank. Future plans for Blue Starlite include an expansion to a larger location down the street in the fall. However, Frank is still deciding whether to keep the current location open after relocating. “There’s a number of options. We’re working to expand the idea and the amount of cars we can hold,” said Frank. Austin has had plenty of options for cinematic viewing, whether it be at the Alamo Drafthouse where patrons are served food and drinks during the film, or a cineplex like the Metropolitan and Tinseltown. Blue Starlite Mini Urban Drive-in gives people another way to enjoy a film. “We came up with another type of film thing you can do in town, which I think is really cool because there’s so many cool things we can do in town. Who knew there’d be something else you could come up with that was just as cool and worth going to,” said Frank. “It’s a one of a kind experience you can have in Austin and it’s the one place in two hours you can sit in a car and watch a movie.”

SaRaH vaSquez UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

www.fbombforever.com

Hook up Horns F*Bomb delves into the sex lives of UT students Last year, MEN’S HEALTH MAGAZINE ranked Austin number one on its list of “America’s Most Sex-Happy Cities.” Though the metrics used to determine the rating were debatable, it’s hard to deny that Austin is a hot, hook-up city. From Dirty 6th’s weekend meat market to breast friendly Barton Springs, we’re a city that’s about as interested in sex as we are live music, “keeping it weird,” and breakfast tacos. With the University of Texas adding 50,000 young adults to Austin’s population whenever school is in session, it would be foolish to not feel a little Longhorn pride for our city’s sexual accolades. And forget Men’s Health, when Playboy named UT its top party school of 2010, they complimented us by saying, “When you add up academics, the weather, the liberal atmosphere, South by Southwest, game day and the nightlife on Sixth Street, UT Austin is one heck of a school.” We couldn’t agree more. That’s why this semester, F*Bomb will be taking a long hard look at what’s happening between the burnt orange bed sheets. Just

rather than informative anecdotes. For example, according to the American College Health Association’s Spring 2011 survey, 29.2% of respondents had zero partners for oral, vaginal, or anal sex in the last 12 months. That tells us that a little under a third of college students aren’t engaging in sexual activity this year, but whether they’re abstaining by choice or simply because they can’t find a

If you would like to participate in this project, please e-mail fbombforever@gmail.com within the last 30 days, did you have: oral intercourse? knowing we’re number one isn’t enough, we need details to go with it! So whether you wake up in a different bed every weekend, or are patiently waiting until marriage, F*Bomb wants to hear your thoughts on the Longhorn hook up scene. Through out this coming fall, this column will focus on different student populations and the ways they approach flirting, dating, sex, and safety. From geeks to Greeks, fumbling freshmen to sex-savy seniors, F*Bomb would like to speak with you, the students who make this school what it is, about UT’s favorite nonfootball extracurricular activity: sex. Of course, to do this right we’re really going to need your help. Most of the available information on college sexuality is in the form of dry statistics that offer impersonal numbers

August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

suitable partner remains a mystery. You can find more fun facts from ACHA’s survey in the sidebar below, but to go beyond numbers, F*Bomb needs to hear your stories. If you would like to participate in this project, please e-mail fbombforever@gmail.com. We want to hear everything: why you’re waiting till marriage, how hard it is to find a date, your best hook up story, what guys are doing wrong, what kind of girls you think are hot, what it’s like to be a gay student at UT, what signals you and your roommate use to tell each other you’re “busy,” what major is the best in bed... EVERYTHING! F*Bomb guarantees that all names will be kept out of print and that any students interviewed will remain 100% anonymous.

Devon tinCknell

no, have never done This sexual Act no, have, but not last 30 days yes

within the last 30 days, did you have: Anal intercourse? no, have never done This sexual Act no, have, but not last 30 days yes

within the last 30 days, did you have: Vaginal intercourse? no, have never done This sexual Act no, have, but not last 30 days yes

The show must go on The Revival Fund organizes a benefit show for a musician in need

D O O W R E G I T

2 1 ‘ R U O T PGA

Photo: Marcos “Quito” Molina

“Because there are more shows to be played.” That tagline is the reason why The Revival Fund is helping Austin musician Pete Brown. Brown, who fronts the band Watching the Moon, is currently waiting for surgery to help him literally get back on his feet. After re-aggravating an old knee injury, he has been out of work for over a month, getting around on crutches. And for someone who runs his own business in construction, the use of his knee is very important. It also affects his band performances. “I had to cancel a couple of big shows over the past few weeks here and it’s been affecting me greatly,” said Brown. “I can’t really stand up and play. I’m going to give it a shot with this next show.” Watching the Moon has a performance on Aug. 31 at Scoot Inn, which is one of the rare shows Brown has performed since his injury. He also cancelled a September tour. “I didn’t want to be on tour in this condition, for one, and possibly miss the big surgery. So I went and cancelled our tour,” said Brown. With the help from the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians (HAAM), Brown is receiving the medical treatment he needs. However, he still needs more assistance. After hearing about his situation, The Revival Fund decided to step in. “When a situation arises with an Austin musician in need right now, the least we can do is do what we can to help out,” said Gene Griffin, a member for The Revival Fund’s board of directors. “Somebody approached us and asked us if we could do anything to help out.” The Revival Fund, which was featured in UWeekly’s Feb. 16 issue, is a non-profit organization created to help musicians in times of crisis. After the death of fellow band member Jon Pettis in 2009, the remaining members of Bankrupt and the Borrowers, James Taylor, Jesse Moore, Blue Mongeon, and former manager Griffin formed the Revival Fund after they received assistance from the music community. Now they are paying it forward by organizing benefit shows and fundraisers, even though they are still in the process of getting their 501(c)(3) non-profit status. “We found that people were still in need,” said Griffin. “So we figured in the meantime, while we’re getting our status, we can still operate as a non-profit.”

T O G E V ’ WE S

The benefit show for Brown on Sept. 3 features a line-up filled with musicians and bands that have shared the stage or personally know Brown and his bandmates. “I’ve lived in Austin for about 15 years. I’ve been involved with the music in this town ever since I lived here, “ said Brown. “We like to pick bands that are friends with the benefactor because, who better to get to support you than your friends?” said Griffin. Two bands, Dad Jim and Clyde and Clem’s Whiskey Business, perform regularly at Hole in the Wall, where the benefit will be held. Moore and We’ll Go Machete are also on the line-up. Griffin said that these bands were quick to offer their help. “Everybody was very into helping out. It wasn’t like we had to pull teeth to get people to help out,” said Griffin. “You never know. Those people playing the benefit today could be the same people that need a benefit in the future.” As for Brown, he is very appreciative for the help from HAAM and The Revival Fund. Although he is a member of HAAM, he didn’t seek out a benefit show from The Revival Fund. The organization offered. “I was really, really thankful for sure. Just moved and honored that I live in such a place where I can get help like this. Anywhere else, especially with HAAM and The Revival Fund, I’d really be in a tough spot,” said Brown. “Everybody should help each other out and play. It’s a good way to live. Really makes truth to what goes around, comes around. I think that’s the way you should live.”

“Everybody should help each other out and play. It’s a good way to live.”

Sarah Vasquez

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Super Crossword

Crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

WORD PLAY

CLUE: F EQUALS E

Sudoku

Pho

to: D

Drive-By Truckers

ann y Cli

nch

The Drive-By Truckers are one of the most venerable bands in music. They have nine studio records, two principle songwriters, a highly dedicated fan base, and plenty of great songs. Their delicately intellectual brand of southern rock transcends all obvious stereotypes of the genre and has put them in a place of near-universal respect. They’ve written everything from rock-operas to treatises on the state of the modern south. They aren’t a stadium band, but they’re remarkably easy to love, and their last record, Go-Go Boots, went all the way to 35 on the billboards. Next Thursday they’ll be dropping by Stubb’s, and we at Uweekly had the pleasure to talk with songwriter/guitarist Mike “The Stroker Ace” Cooley. When I was scheduling this interview your publicist and I had to find a time where you weren’t picking up your kids. What’s it like being in a rock band where you have to worry about things like that? In a lot of ways, it’s not so different from anybody else. You do something long enough and eventually you end up with a family. It’s a balancing act no matter what.

label will have the right to put out a compilation with everything you’ve put out under their umbrella. They wanted to do it, and it actually turned out to be pretty cool. We were all laughing because it got the best review in Rolling Stone we’ve ever gotten. I was pleasantly surprised; a lot of the songs on the album was stuff I’ve forgotten about.

Does your job ever come up when you’re talking with other parents? Yeah, that gets a little strange. I’m not like the other dads, most people my age, or most people with kids in general. They’re on a collision course with getting old, and I’m fighting it the best I can. We don’t have a lot to talk about. (He laughs.) They definitely come off more parental.

Has it made you nostalgic at all? Not really. I haven’t listened to it, to be honest. I actually heard one of the tracks playing somewhere and it took me almost the entire song to recognize what it was. I didn’t even know it was one of ours.

You put out a greatest hits record this year, what about now made it feel like the right time? For that thing we were more contracted to do that than anything. I wish somebody would let me know what our ‘greatest hits’ are, you know? It is strange how it’s being called a ‘greatest hits’ record and not a ‘best of’ record. I think that’s really what it is, a best of. Typically, with a lot of contracts, the

You guys are coming through Austin next Thursday, and you’ve put out a live album here. It seems like you like playing the town. What’s special about it?

But Austin always, for whatever reason, brings a great audience. It was that way from the very get-go, even when we were out there, virtually unknown, playing microscopic bars. They pick you up and carry you around. I imagine, because of the way DriveBy Truckers are and the fan base you have, that you draw a really good crowd no matter where you play. Yeah definitely, there are people I recognize night after night. That’s

“Solo projects can be maybe more lucrative, but honestly they’re not as much fun. This band is our job for one thing, but it’s a job we like. We’re tied to it, but we don’t really mind it.” We don’t play here that often anymore. In the old days we came through Texas a lot, definitely one of our regulars. But now it’s the same rotation as everywhere else, once or twice a year.

actually how I entertain myself onstage, I just pick out all the people I recognize but don’t know where the hell they live. It’s like “I see that guy everywhere, where the hell is he actually from?”

You guys have had a lot of records with multiple songwriters, and a lot of time you see people go off and do side projects or have a hiatus, yet you have stayed very prolific and very united. Why do you think that is? We just like it, we like doing this thing this way; it’s our bread and butter. Solo projects can be maybe more lucrative, but honestly they’re not as much fun. It’s our job for one thing, but it’s a job we like. We’re tied to it, but we don’t really mind it. Did you expect it to go on this long? If it worked I did, but I’m always amazed at how well it worked and for so long. I still find myself on an afternoon before a show wondering if anyone is going to show up.

Luke Winkie

Drive-by truckers will be performing at Stubb’s on September 1st. Tickets are $18–$20, doors at 7p.m. UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

Wednesday

Out of Bounds Comedy Festival @ ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport

Austin’s comedy funny bone seems to be rapidly growing as improv troupes litter every corner like Frozen Yogurt establishments, and standup comedians try and squeegee your car window for spare change. Nevertheless, the scene has gotten so established that it now warrants a comedy festival with nationally recognized comedians. Out of Bounds features stand up, improv, and sketch comedy while bringing along Tim Meadows (The Ladies Man) and Greg Proops (Whose Line it it Anyway) along for the ride. Tickets: www.outofboundscomedy.com

The top events & shows in Austin this week

►►Also Worthy

Hardproof Afrobeat

@ North Door, 501 Brushy St

@ Mohawk, 912 Red River

If you’ve never put your dancing shoes on in Austin, Thursday is your date with dancing destiny. The Learning Secrets DJs are quite possibly the best this side of Red River, banging out disco, funk, and every other hip-shaking sounds these mad scientist can conjure up. So lace up those blue suede shoes, slap on your Sunday’s best, and forget the cover charge, Learning Secrets has got your back

►►Also Worthy

Hard Candy

White Mystery

Beauty Bar, 617 E. 7th

Robert Banta

Brown Acid

El John Selector of Thievery Corporation

Grape St.

Social Cycling Thursday Night Ride

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

Will bass August 31, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Tickets: At the door

►►Also Worthy

Not In the Face

Antone’s, 213 W. 5th

What is Afrobeat? It is an infectious mixture of African music, James Brown funk, and jazz. Hardproof definitely deliver in all of these departments, and more. Crowding the stage with a glut of horns, guitars, and weird percussion, Hardproof are a live force to be reckoned with. But stay hydrated, it’s 105 out there and these guys are already hot.

Tickets: At the door

Drive-By Truckers

Mohawk, 912 Red River

friday

Learning Secrets

The Olivia Tremor Contol

Beauty Bar, 617 E. 7th

thursday

Stubb’s, 601 Red River Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Kung Fu Saloon, 510 Rio Grande

Festival Beach, 2101 Bergman St

Beerland, 711 Red River

Scorpion Child

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Dodos

Antone’s, 213 W. 5th

80’s Dance Party

The Highball, 1120 S. Lamar

Master Pancake Theater: The Breakfast Club Alamo at the Ritz, 320 E. 6th

saturday

sunday

monday

Monday Night Mash @ Cold Towne Theater, 4803 Airport

Looking for cheap (free) date on a Monday night? Look no further than Cold Towne where three hilarious comic acts will satisfy your Monday night craving for fresh, fun, and free improvised and sketch comedy. Tickets: Free

►►Also Worthy

Karaoke Underground

Hoop Church

@ Nomad Bar, 1213 Corona Dr

@ Hot Mama’s, 2401 East 6th

The Karaoke Underground is for punk and indie rock fans who love to scream, yelp, croon, bark and sometimes even sing their favorites from artists like Black Flag, Modest Mouse, the Misfits, and Cat Power. From Wilco to Wire, from Belle & Sebastian to Big Black, you’re sure to find something to put a microphone in your hand.

Come down to Hot Mama’s on East 6th. on the sabbath to get your secular worship on through the power of the Hula Hoop. Work your hips into a spiritual frenzy then reward them with some of Hot Mama’s delicious faire. Tickets: Free

Tickets: Free

Turbo Fruits

Spiderhouse Ballroom, 510 W. 29th St

Black Gum

Club 1808, 1808 E. 12th

Dead Earth Politics Emo’s, 603 Red River

tuesday

Terror Tuesday: Deranged @ Alamo Ritz, 320 E. 6th

Time to take part in the madness that is Terror Tuesday. Terror Tuesday screens some of the campiest, funniest, and kitchiest horror movies from the ‘70s and ‘80s. They are sure to keep you entertained without scaring your wallet.

►►Also Worthy

Talmadge d’Amour

Mugen Huso

Buddy Guy

The Planets Beerland

►►Also Worthy

The Nouns

Smithers

Tim Kasher (of Cursive)

Beauty Bar

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Alex Roxx

Mont Lyons

DJ Scorpio

Hole in the Wall

Beauty Bar, 617 E. 7th

Mr Lewis and the Funeral 5

The Loblolly Boy

Leatherbag

Skinny’s Ballroom, 115 San Jacinto ACL Live at the Moody Theater, 310 W. 2nd Headhunters, 720 Red River Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River Beerland, 711 Red River

Red 7

Skinny’s Ballroom

Tickets: originalalamo.com

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

UWeeklyAustin.com | August 31, 2011

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(2222 rio grande st.)

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mother Plucker mugs

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The Trophy Room 310 east 6th street

lso known by many as “The Trophy Club,” this renowned bar used to like to boast that it was the only bar in Austin with a mechanical bull. While that may not exactly be true nowadays, it is still forever known as the “bar on 6th with the mechanical bull,” and that moniker isn’t going to go away any time soon. Besides the obvious attraction of the mechanical bull, The Trophy Room also boasts a pleasant back room with another full bar in case you want to take a break from the mechanical bull craziness. If you ever work up the cojones to ride that bull, though, just try to go longer than 1.5 seconds like Chad Ochocinco. Although, to be fair, that was on a real bull.

BRian BoGaRt

► CuatRoS

(301 Lavaca st.)

(2610 guadalupe st.)

(1004 w 24th st.)

service industry night

$2 tx mex beers

$2 tecates and modelo esp. $5 deer and beer

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(409 colorado st.)

(2716 guadalupe st.)

(208 e 6th st.)

$2 wells

$2 mimosas and $3 bloody mary’s

$2 Vodka bombs

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(404 colorado st.)

(317 e 6th st.)

(323 e 6th st.)

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$2 wells

307B West 5th Street www.besocantina.com