September 14, 2011

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sept 14, 2011

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uWeekly sits down

on a budget

fabulously stupid tweets from professional athletes

opens for first show

party pictures

with diamond Rings

photo: eli Watson, penguin Books

Slash and burn “Banned, Burned, Seized and Censored” gives us a historical and contemporary perspective on censorship in An AGe of nipple slips, scripted reality show hookups and the Internet, censorship can sometimes seem like a thing of the past.

While this is true in one way, censorship is still present in our society, just more furtively: WikiLeaks, YouTube videos and even our public school textbooks are all subject to the art of omission. Nevertheless, sometimes one has to look to the past to understand the present, and the current exhibit on censorship

Indeed, the exhibit goes beyond the usual confines of a banned books exhibit, giving us a vivid glimpse into the actual mechanisms of censorship.

“Instead of just presenting books that have been banned over time, I wanted to show the process of censorship and how it occurs in different ways: through federal agencies, independent agencies, and individuals,” said Siglerake.

more because the definitions of obscenity have changed, I still think that you see individuals and private organizations exercise quite a lot of power over books that they find objectionable... Throughout history it has always been the same reason: ‘We have to protect the children,’ and ‘We have to protect those who can’t protect themselves.’”

In addition to highlighting how censorship At the same time, the exhibit spurns us into historically works in the U.S., the exhibit an understanding of how censorship works in tactfully demonstrates the sheer volume of our own time. one perspective as it drowns out all other “I think the exhibit gives patrons a look at voices, perhaps indirectly arguing for a more how censorship operated pluralist approach to future during that time period, but arguments of morality. after they leave they can “I think moving through go out into their current the exhibition you can see society and look at the way the power that one voice censorship is functioning can have over all others in today.” getting a book condemned Nevertheless, censorship or getting a book vindicated. isn’t the public process It is a powerful thing.” that it was in the early “Banned, Burned, Seized, nineteenth century. Our and Censored” is on view in definition of what is the Ransom Center Galleries obscene has dramatically for the next five months. changed. We don’t see Hours are Tuesday through Twilight being banned Friday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (open for advocating underage until 7 p.m. on Thursdays), LAdy chAttErLEy’S LovEr romance or Harry Potter for and Saturday and Sunday was at the center of a famous Boston popularizing witchcraft. noon to 5 p.m. The galleries obscenity trial known only as the “Although we don’t see are closed Mondays.

“Dunster House Bookshop Case.”

WilliAm BAss so much prosecution any

“throughout history it has always been the same reason: ‘we have to protect the children,’ and ‘we have to protect those who can’t protect themselves.’” at the Ransom Center helps us do just this.

“Banned, Burned, Seized, and Censored,” which runs through January 22, 2012, features more than 200 items, drawn largely from the Ransom Center’s holdings, and examines a period in which countless books, plays, magazines and images were censored. The exhibit specifically focuses on the censorship between the years of 1918-1940.

This era of censorship might appear a little far removed from the more popular obscenity cases of the ’50s and ’60s, which featured more popular works like Allen Ginsberg’s Howl and William Burrough’s Naked Lunch, but that seems to be the purpose, as our general unfamiliarity with this time period allows patrons to approach the time with a pair of fresh eyes.

“I think focusing on this certain historical period allows people to come in without any preconceived notions,” said Ransom Center Assistant Director and Curator for Public Programs Danielle Siglerake.

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September 14, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

UWeekly Banned Books Recommendations TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry MILLer No doubt one of the most obscene books in the exhibit, Tropic of Cancer is a book that started it all, really. The book, which contains nihilistic romps through sex, art and life itself, was one of the main influences on the Beats and the inspiration for the Dionysian spirit of the ’60s which still haunts us today.

OIL! by UPTon sInCLaIr Everybody loves Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood. Well, this is the book that the movie was loosely based upon.

The book contains a greedy oil tycoon and his son, fervent evangelists, petroleum-rich families, and a motel sex scene. What more do you want from literature?

ULYSSES by JaMes JoyCe Quite possibly one of the weirdest and most beautiful books to ever come from the pen of a drunken Irishman, Ulysses, in a highly intoxicated stream of consciousness manner, details a day in the life of Leopold Bloom as he journeys through Dublin. A strange, difficult, yet rewarding book.

You are where you eat The UWeekly guide to shopping organic on a college budget. we All like the ideA of eating organic. it’s a boost to the environment and our cultured, smug ego. but it can certainly hurt your wallet, especially on a college budget. we all still do it, it tastes better, it feels better, and we’re living in Austin; it’s practically harder to find a non-organic market. so we at UWeekly took a tour of some of the more notable green grocery shops around town, with a specifically college attitude in mind. here is our breakdown, intangibles and all.

WHeaTsVILLe Co-oP Wheatsville, the campus area’s lovely community-minded grocery destination.

It’s probably the second most notable shop underneath the monolithic, calculating, but somehow still-not-evil Whole Foods (discussed later). It’s all log cabin-y by design.

Everything is made of wood, and all the cars parked out front were all covered in bumper stickers on various different crises.

Wheatsville is easily the most patchoulistick of the organic markets in Austin, which is saying something. Honestly that’s kind of the best thing about Wheatsville: it’s a

grocery store, but it’s a movement, too, man.

You feel like you’re actually doing a positive thing when you shop there. That’s probably a whole lot of back-patting, but that’s kind of what you’re looking for if you’re a college kid willing to shell out the extra cash for slightly browner eggs.

here’s the basic breakdown. As we sauntered through these shops, we copied down the prices of the basic ingredients of spaghetti: a classic of dorm-room, fratbro, kitchen-illiterate cuisine. here’s how they shook out.

CenTraL MarkeT On the other side of the coin there’s Central Market. While an incredibly capable grocery store, it’s easily the least homely of Austin’s earthy markets. There’s none of the community, a lot of loud noises, and a justifiably stressed staff. It embraces the organic trend almost begrudgingly, like it’s a box to check off if you’re operating a store here. The people who come to Central Market are almost exclusively parents who have usually left their most idealistic tendencies behind but Continued on pAGe 6

CENTRAL MARKET $7.29 - Olive Oil $2.99 - Cheese $4.49 - Sauce $1.59 - Spaghetti $16.36 - ToTaL WHEATSVILLE $9.49 - Olive Oil $2.49 - Cheese $3.79 - Sauce $2.89 - Spaghetti $18.86 - ToTaL

FRESH PLUS $7.19 - Olive Oil $4.49 - Cheese $3.29 - Sauce $3.59 - Spaghetti $18.59 - ToTaL

SPROUT’S $9.98 - Olive Oil $2.64 - Cheese $2.99 - Sauce $2.29 - Spaghetti $17.90 - ToTaL WHOLE FOODS $8.69 - Olive Oil $5.99 - Cheese $3.99 - Sauce $2.99 - Spaghetti $21.66 - ToTaL UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

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still think carrots taste better when they’re grown without food dye. The hippie sensibilities of Wheatsville won’t work here. If you’re jaded enough, this is the place for you.

FresH PLUs groCery

COMING SOON

For those who like quaintness there’s Fresh Plus. The itty-bitty store has an ittybitty selection, but still manages to carry tofu in both firm and extra-firm. It has that anachronistic charm of the neighborhood grocery store. There’s places for Laundry Detergent next to the potato chips (how adorable is that?). The organic selection is small but sturdy, and the staff seemed

Back-patting feels great if you’re a college kid willing to shell out the extra cash for slightly browner eggs. thankfully nonplussed to the fact that a scruffy, bewildered college student was wandering up and down the aisles scribbling down the prices of tomato sauce. It’s got character, and sometimes that’s all you need.

sProUTs Sprouts is nice because there’s big signs everywhere telling you the exact location of what you happen to be looking for.

Also, the aisles are nice and reasonably decipherable and there isn’t the feeling that you’re constantly being ushered out by all involved parties and aesthetics (see Central Market). Sprouts would probably be the destination of choice if it wasn’t so far away.

Sure it doesn’t have the contact high of Wheatsville or the glitzy flash of Whole Foods, but it does boast a solid selection of organic mac and cheese.

Actions speak louder than words.

WHoLe Foods And now, the belly of the organic beast: Austin’s crown jewel, Whole Foods, featuring elevators, doubledecker parking, pet food sections, onstaff chefs, Starbucks-indie soundtracks, a menagerie and a bunch of eclecticlooking employees. Its funny: no matter how good-hearted the industry is, someone always has to be the Death Star. For the community shops like Fresh Plus and Wheatsville, Whole Foods provides the biggest antagonist to their constituents. They are the WalMart for people who know how to make

delicious fried tofu. But you have to be great to get to no. 1, and Whole Foods easily has the largest selection of stuff compared to the shops previously discussed, almost all of it is organic and they’re willing to make you a sandwich on the spot. You might feel guilty considering its corporate stature, but it’s easy to shop there. Also, the girls are hot.

luke Winkie

Austin reacts to the wildfires.

“My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people who have suffered losses and the firefighters and volunteers aiding in the relief efforts.”

— UT President Bill Powers As many of you already know, the recent wildfires have caused untold damage upon Austin and its surrounding areas. The Bastrop, Steiner Ranch, Spicewood and other wildfires have, to date, claimed over 118,000 acres, over 1,000 homes and caused four deaths, according to CNN. The central Texas wildfires have made national headlines and even pulled Governor Rick Perry from the campaign trail to assess the damage. Yet, regrettably, the Federal Government and FEMA have refused to declare the instance a major disaster.

But that hasn’t stopped an outpouring of help and assistance to those who have lost everything and, in this time of need, it seems like everyone is pitching in, and that includes UT.

What is being done Organizations such as the Texas Disaster Relief Fund and the Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs have provided funding to those who have been displaced. The relief fund has also provided up to $250,000 in hotel vouchers and the state housing department will contribute an additional $350,000 in assistance cards to help individuals pay for essential items.

Agencies like the American Red Cross of Central Texas, the Central Texas Wildfire Fund, the Capital Area Food Bank, H-E-B, Catholic Charities of Central Texas and the United Way Capital Area have all stopped business as usual to focus on the current crisis.

Even organizations like Austin Pets Alive! and the Austin Humane Society are continuing to work around the clock to rescue and provide shelter and medical treatment to displaced animals as well as to reunite lost animals with their owners.

How UT has helped President of the University of Texas Bill Powers posted an official statement on UT’s website offering support and condolence to those affected by the devastating wildfires.

“My thoughts and prayers go out to all the people who have suffered losses and the firefighters and volunteers aiding in the relief efforts,” said Powers in the statement.

As of now, UT is providing paid emergency leave for their faculty and staff as well as assistance for affected UT students. To

Let us not forget that the people who have lost their homes will spend years rebuilding their lives. contact emergency student services, visit deanofstudents.utexas.edu/emergency/ UT is also publicizing their mental health services, which are available for those who are dealing with the traumatic effects of loss of property or life. Provided by the CMHC, there is a 24-hour telephone counseling line at 512471-2255, group and individual counseling as well as medication and psychiatric services.

There is also an online stress management site that can be found at cmhc.utexas.edu/ stressrecess/index.html The UT School of Information has even held workshops to help victims salvage valuable records and documents such as tax information, birth certificates and more.

How you can help This is something that impacts us all, whether we realize it or not. For those of you who want to help directly, there are many avenues you can take. You can either donate directly to relief funds through agencies like the American Red Cross or lend a hand at any of the rescue shelters located in Bastrop or any one of the many churches that are still acting as relief centers.

You can donate things such as money, time or essential items like toiletries and food to donation drop-off centers such as the Austin Disaster Relief Network, located on 1905 S Capital of TX Highway. Also, don’t hesitate to contact any of the aforementioned agencies to ask how you can contribute.

Let us not forget that the people who have lost their homes will spend years rebuilding their lives. The efforts to help should not stop

today, tomorrow or the next day, but rather be a continuing effort. Even a simple offer of help can go a long way.

Amanda Chappel

Some of the most important items needed: • Deodorant • Toothbrushes • Combs • Bar Soap • Shampoo • Razors • Face Wash • Bedding • Canned Foods • Dog Food • Diapers • Baby Wipes • Infant Formula *Remember, travel size items are best* UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

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Dayplanner

AmAndA ChAppel

Events on or around campus

Publisher Michael Huereque

thIrd thUrSdAyS

“roSIE, GEt yoUr rIvEtS!”

The third Thursday of every month marks a special celebration for the Blanton Museum and the kids of UT. This month, enjoy a screening of “Hungry in America (6 PM) Yoga n the Galleries (6:30 PM) and the Blanton Book Club (7 PM).

Thursday September 15 Blanton Museum of Art 5-9 PM

powdEr pUff wIth dELtA SIGmA thEtA Watch this head-to-head game pitting Delta Sigma Theta Sorority against Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity. In other words, watch hot sorority girls play hot fraternity guys in football. Not to be missed.

Thursday September 15 South Mall 6-8 PM

“thE chErry orchArd” comES to LIfE Watch this devastatingly poignant literary feat by Russian author Anton Chekhov come to life on stage as a charming Russian family does everything they can to save their estate from being auctioned off in order to pay their mortgage.

Friday September 16 Winship Drama Building (WIN), Oscar G. Brockett Theatre 8-10 PM

You remember Rosie the Riveter, right? She’s that iconic figure that personified the first wave of women in the work force (to replace the men, of course). Well, then, don’t miss this musical based on her fascinating life.

Saturday September 17 Winship Drama Building (WIN) B. Iden Payne Theatre 2:30-4:30 PM

SUIcIdE prEvEntIon wEEK KIcKS off wIth pEErS for prIdE Come check out this monolog performance of the lives of LGBTQ persons.

Afterward, discuss the challenges and rewards of identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.

Monday September 19 Gregory Gym (GRE) Games Room 3.120 7-830 PM

The Schedule m tennis: olympia fields Invitational

Austin, Texas, 4:30pm

Olympia Fields, Ill., All Day

w tennis: duke Invitational

w tennis: duke Invitational

Durham, N.C., All Day

Durham, N.C., All Day

w tennis: duke Invitational

m tennis: racquet club collegiate Invitational

w volleyball: tcU

Durham, N.C., All Day

Midland, Texas, All Day

Fort Worth, Texas, 6:30pm

Austin, Texas, 6:30 pm

m tennis: olympia fields Invitational Olympia Fields, Ill.,All Day

TUesday 9/20

BRiAn BoGARt

m Golf: olympia fields Invitational

m tennis: olympia fields Invitational

Chicago, Ill., All Day

Olympia Fields, Ill., All Day

m tennis: racquet club collegiate Invitational Midland, Texas, All Day

m Golf: olympia fields Invitational Chicago, Ill., All Day

sUnday 9/18

saTUrday 9/17

football: UcLA

m tennis: racquet club collegiate Invitational

Pasadena, Calif., 2:30 pm

Midland, Texas, All Day’

w volleyball: SmU

m Golf: olympia fields Invitational

Austin, Texas, 1:00 am

Chicago, Ill., All Day

ad designer Terry Kennedy editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Photographer Elijah Watson Copy editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers John Jarzemsky Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie sports Writers Ryan Betori Brian Bogart

Circulation Jeremey Tooker

w volleyball: UtSA

w volleyball: Santa clara

art director Jessica Caraway

entertainment Writers William Bass Devon Tincknell Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez

Your guide to all things burnt orange.

FrIday 9/16

account executives Alexa Hansson John Martin

Intern Aaron Zech ConTaCT 6705 Debcoe Drive Austin, TX 78749 O: 512–358–4149 uweeklyaustin.com info@uweeklyaustin.com PUbLIsHer Highbrow LLC aboUT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each.

Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors.

No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2011 Highbrow, LLC

opInIon E

that’s what she said.

photos and interviews by Brian Bogart

“what’s your favorite place to eat around campus?”

“Pita Pit because they have double punch Mondays and after your 10th punch you get a free pita!”

Alex rammell & Aimee vasquez

“Mellow Mushroom. The mighty meaty has some of the most delicious bacon on it.”

marissa deLeon

Air it out dear Shitty west campus drivers, thAnk you for runninG into my cAr this morning and not leaving a note. I love the fact that I have a chip in my paint and a scratch on my rear fender. That’s just what my hung-over ass needed on my way to work at 9 am.

I love the fact that you don’t follow street protocol. Like, when you’re in a hurry to get to your little boyfriends house because that skank that texts him all the time might be at the party he’s throwing right now, so you decide to just breeze thorough 8 stop signs.

Slamming on my breaks when I think I’m in the clear for that stop sign was a lot of fun, I’ve gotta say.

Also, thank you for parking diagonally in a small parking spot on a two-way, single lane street. Now because you couldn’t have been bothered to find better parking or just park a little further away and walk to your precious frat party, this other guy in front of me and I have to play car tango to get by each other without fucking each others shit up.

Though I guess it doesn’t matter since

An Air It Out fAQ “Spicy Pickle, I like to go on Friday afternoons and sit out on the patio.”

haley hussey

“I love Torchy’s, the “brushfire” is delicious.”

Jackie ho

How to get us to actually print what you write.

1. everything anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. be brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. stay specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

you’ve already busted up my car in your drunken scramble to get home.

Sincerely,

that Scion tc you keep freaking running into 4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to Airitout@ uweekly.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space.

UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

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photo: Ryan Betori

The art of the tailgate Texas Iron Spikes do it better than most in mAny wAys, tailgating mirrors the game it celebrates. Both take preparation, stamina, a delicate balance of strategy and instinct, and, inevitably, lots of sweat. Of course, there’s no beer for those playing football, so that alone may render the comparison erroneous. But, when done right, tailgates are as fun and festive as the game itself. They also share that same rare knack for bringing people together, and isn’t that what sports is about? In the land of the 40 Acres, very few tailgates embody this spirit better than the Texas Iron Spikes tailgate. I followed the group around on Saturday to see just how they manage to do it.

FrIday Tailgates might occur on Saturday, but they’re conceived on Friday. Make the wrong moves on Friday and Saturday falls flat. But with the right moves, tailgating bliss is a mere 24 hours away.

2-4:30 p.m.: Senior Ryan Wilhelms, commander-in-chief of Spikes tailgates, heads to Sam’s Club. It’s the perfect place to buy in bulk, and bulk is what it takes to feed 200+ people. Wilhelms snags 60 pounds of potatoes, 220 bratwursts, and as much onions, garlic, and butter as he can fit in his arms. Then he collects two cases of Bud Light and three kegs filled with Shiner Bock.

Nice play kid.

6-10 p.m.: As everyone begins their weekends, Wilhelms’ work is just starting. The signature item for tomorrow will be hand-cut, expertly seasoned french fries. He spends the next four hours peeling, cutting, and

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soaking the potatoes (water with a splash of vinegar). He will not be able to get the scent of potatoes out of his hands for weeks to come. The sacrifice is totally worth it.

saTUrday The big day has arrived. The sun is scorching at the Bob Bullock parking lot. Men thrive; boys melt.

8 a.m.: Wilhelms gets up to buy 200 pounds of ice. He returns home and immediately begins icing the kegs. The early bird gets cold beer.

to the tailgate, Wilhelms is manning the smoking pit. Brats and french fries are being cooked to perfection. But amongst the heat, beer, and girls in cowboy boots, it’s easy to get distracted. “It’s back and forth between the deep fryer, broiler, and grill,” said Wilhelms of the key to tailgate cooking. “It’s all about stamina and a keen sense of attention.”

3-5 p.m.: With kickoff at six, this is prime time. At its peak, there are about 200 hundred people at the Spikes tailgate. The majority of people arrive around 3 p.m., but by this time,

the smoking pit is the vessel through which all good tailgate food flows.

10-11a.m.: Wilhelms loads his truck with water, soda, food, beer, a tent, and tailgate games (washers). He hooks up the smoking pit to his trailer. The smoking pit is the vessel through which all good tailgate food flows.

11:30 a.m-12 p.m.: The Iron Spikes tent (15x30 feet) is erected by Wilhelms and four others. It’s a symbolic gesture. The tailgate has begun.

12-3 p.m.: As people begin to trickle over

much of the food has found stomachs. By 4:30 p.m., beer will be hard to come by. But even once the food and kegs are tapped, everybody remains in good spirits. It’s a time for socializing and game speculation. There’s also plenty of entertainment to be had by playing washers, which senior Spencer Crum describes as the “classic tailgate game”.

5:30 p.m.: Tailgate patrons make their

way to the game. Wilhelms and a few others pick up any trash, lock up the smoking pit, and put the remaining food, propane, and tailgate games in Wilhelms’ truck. The tent remains standing.

10:00 p.m.: After a narrow Longhorn victory, Wilhelms hustles out of the game to finish what he started. He and others dismantle the tent, pick up any more trash that’s left, and drive back home. The leftover goods are off to storage until the next home game.

When it ’s all over, the Bob Bullock parking lot is barren besides a few stray Bud Light cans. Like the tailgaters themselves, the lot seems exhausted. Sleep is easy to come by on Saturday night. All has gone well. It was a good day.

TaILgaTe resPonsIbLy To prevent underage drinking, at every tailgate Texas Iron Spikes hires a third party vendor to distribute alcohol to those who are of drinking age.

RyAn BetoRi

The Highlight Reel Week 1 of the NFL football season has officially come and gone, and if you’re a Cowboy’s fan, chances are you were ecstatic during their inaugural game against the Jets...for the first three quarters. Heading into the fourth quarter with Dallas up by 14, Tony Romo managed to turn the ball over twice, New York put together two scoring drives, and disgraced former Cowboy kicker Nick Folk got to ice the game for the Jets with a 50-yarder in the closing moments of the game to send his old team packing. To make matters worse, it was the first time in the entire history of the Dallas Cowboy’s franchise that they have allowed a team to come back by 14 points or more in the fourth quarter. I’ve been lucky enough so far in my life to have never been kicked in the crotch at full force, but I imagine this is exactly what it feels like.

For people who thought Notre Dame was BCS-bound this football season (which are probably the same people who have thought this for the last five years or so), Denard Robinson says hi. So does Skip Holtz.

Anyone who has actively watched the Texas Longhorn football team for the last two seasons could easily tell you that last Saturday’s game against BYU would have gotten really ugly really fast if it were being played in 2010. The great news, though, is that this is a new era and it was clearly marked by this team’s ability to play through adversity and ultimately prevail. Not a skill that can necessarily be taught, but a skill that still must be learned nonetheless. It’s a new era on the 40 Acres baby. Hook ‘em!

Looking for a professional football team from Texas that wasn’t disappointing in Week 1? I give you the Houston Texans.

After a decade or so of sitting on the bottom spot of the AFC South, this team has had its ups and (mostly) downs in its brief history.

But given the way they have flipped the script against their arch-nemesis, the Colts, in these last two seasons, it would be a severe understatement to say that this team is on the rise.

If I’m looking for someone in the NFL

to give a game ball to this week, though, it would have to be Cam Newton in his first game as a Carolina Panther. The dude broke the rookie record for passing yards in an NFL debut, airing it out for 422 yards, two touchdowns, and one pick to end up with a QB rating of 110.4. Given the severe learning curve of the NFL, the poor quality of the Panthers as a whole, and the fact that

this lockout made it impossible for Newton to participate in team workouts during the off-season, you can rest assured that this was a damn impressive debut. It certainly looks like Carolina got themselves a good one in Newton, even with all the supposed strings that came attached to him.

BRiAn BoGARt

photo: texas stadium - dallas Cowboys World Champions mural photo: Bigcats lair

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photo: Jay Janner/ AmeRiCAn-stAtesmAn

“Texas hold ‘em” What the Longhorn’s win against BYU means for this program in a post-Gilbert era there’s An old AdAGe that goes “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it,” which from 2004-2009 the Longhorns were able to do with relative ease as Vince Young and Colt McCoy won game after game in burnt orange because of their alpha-male presence on the football field.

For the previous year, however, it’s clear that there has been something broken about the Longhorn football team, with the lack of fixing anything being the most frustrating part to watch. After the Horn’s dramatic win against Bringham Young that saw young quarterbacks Case McCoy and David Ash rally Texas out of an early 13-0 hole to victory, that lack of proactiveness appears to be so 2010.

Now, with UCLA on the horizon, the first mid-season changes to the depth chart have commenced and, to almost no one’s surprise, Gilbert has been bumped to the third team.

What is sure to raise eyebrows, however, is the title of Ash and McCoy as co-starters as well as freshman running back Malcolm

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Brown being named co-starter with Fozzy Whittaker. No, I can’t tell you exactly how that’s supposed to work out, but I can definitely tell you that in 2011, the Longhorn’s favorite word appears to be “co.” Between Bryan Harsin and Major Applewhite acting as co-offensive coordinators, McCoy and Ash being co-QBs and Brown and Whittaker playing as co-starters in the offensive backfield, Texas is apparently

back to the scene of the crime for last year’s Horns, Texas is ready to call it a new season. If they go 3-0, they would have not only exorcised those demons in style, they would continue the season with an entirely new set of expectations.

Slip up in a close game, though, and the word “work-in-progress” would continue to surface, with more questions looming on exactly who is running the show on this team.

while ByU isn’t exactly a world-beater, it’s an established and well-coached football team with a talented quarterback, and it was good to finally watch texas beat a team like that. making a statement of unselfishness that didn’t seem to resonate last year.

This year, that mentality has gotten them to 2-0, with one of those games being a win that is universally recognized as one that would have been a loss last year. Now, heading back to UCLA,

But for a moment, the Longhorns can just be happy about what they’ve managed to do in two games. While BYU isn’t exactly a worldbeater, it’s an established and well-coached football team with a talented quarterback, and it was good to finally watch Texas beat a

team like that. It was especially encouraging to watch it happen against a double-digit second half deficit, a fixable issue that would have spelled death for 2010’s squad. One thing that this team made clear last game, at least, was that adversity is not going to be their undoing. It may be a seemingly small step, but a crucial one that every team needs to make if it’s going to be truly great.

Is that to say this team is going to be “truly great?” Maybe not. After all, this is a team that was playing 18 freshmen at a time, and typically teams whose best players are freshmen don’t often reach “truly great” status. But then again, maybe. Lest we forget, all of these dramatic changes to the team in the off-season have already paid dividends in only two games of action, so who really knows what this team’s ceiling is? One thing we do know, however, is that this is ain’t 2010, and as far as 2011 is concerned, 2-0 just means that 13-0 is still within reach, as long as it’s done “brick-by-brick.”

BRiAn BoGARt

the bryAn VikinGs Are off to A stronG start to the 2011 football season, winning their first two games and putting up a combined 62 points in the victories. A big part of Bryan’s success this year will be due to quarterback Chris Johnson, one of the top prospects in the state of Texas for the 2013 recruiting class.

Though he’s only two games into his junior season, Johnson has already landed on the recruiting radar of colleges around the area, and through the first two weeks he’s been active in checking out college games. In week one, he

photo: main street in downtown Bryan, texas, Justin6898

QB Johnson likes what he sees on UT visit

under Bryan Harsin and Major Applewhite, Johnson paid close attention to the UT offensive schemes and how things changed as different quarterbacks entered the game. He

“I enjoyed the whole experience. Just being able get a tour of the facilities and being able to meet some of the coaches was great. It just seemed like a very family-oriented experience.” watched Texas A&M handle SMU. Last Saturday, Johnson made his way to Austin to watch the Longhorns’ victory over BYU. It was a return trip to the Forty Acres for Johnson, who camped at Texas in June. On his Saturday visit, Johnson came in early and got a quick tour of the football locker room before settling in to watch the Horns’ comefrom-behind win.

“I enjoyed the whole experience,” Johnson said. “Just being able get a tour of the facilities and being able to meet some of the coaches was great. It just seemed like a very family-oriented experience.”

Texas started off slowly, falling behind 13-0 before fighting back in the second half for a 17-16 win. Johnson liked what he saw in UT’s ability to battle through adversity.

“I was impressed with their intensity throughout the whole game. They got off to a slow start but they were able to find some things within themselves that helped them,” Johnson said. “They started to make plays and were able to come together and get the win.”

With Texas still breaking in a new offense

said he liked the multiplicity and could see himself fitting in with the Longhorns’ new style of play.

“With our offense at Bryan High, we run some of the similar things to what they ran, lot of veer reads and they aired it out quite a bit,” Johnson said.

During the visit, Johnson talked to several UT coaches, including Applewhite,

$

9.95 monthly

Bo Davis and Ken Rucker.

“They were just asking me how I was doing with my season. They were just telling me to continue to play the way I was playing and they would continue to stay in contact and continue to watch me,” Johnson said.

Ranked No. 8 on the 2013 Lone Star Recruiting Top 100, Johnson is keeping an open mind with the recruiting process at this early stage.

He has yet to formulate a list of favorites and said he’s keeping an open mind to any and all schools that are showing him interest.

As for the next step, Johnson is focused on his 2011 season and making improvements while helping lead Bryan to more wins.

“For right now, I think that our offense executes very well with our run game and passing game,” Johnson said. “One thing I think I’m doing well right now is taking on a leadership role, but I still need to continue to work on that.”

JAson suChomel oRAnGeBloods.Com editoR

$

99.95 annually UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

13

&!

@#$%

Tweet Tweet: Running back edition Top running backs weigh in on everything from medical expertise to fiscal power structures.

with the AdVent of sociAl networking, we all have an unprecedented platform to communicate with the world in an unrestricted fashion. But with great freedom comes great responsibility, and sometimes athletes who are rewarded for brawn instead of brain forget this. This is especially true of twitter, where 140 characters is ample room to say something really, really stupid. As athletes have proven time and time again, stupidity is in no short supply. Be forewarned: in the following tweets, foresight has been willfully bludgeoned and grammar has been violated in a way that makes me fear for the commas of tomorrow.

sort of feel you. After all, there is a whiff of a racial power structure in the NFL: a bunch of extremely rich white owners pay a bunch of very rich black guys to entertain. But the operative words here are “pay” and “rich.” Slaves were not paid (let alone sums of money that require personal accountant(s)), and, most relevantly, they had no choice. Rashard, my man, you can be whatever you want!

Here’s an idea: we can switch places. You start writing articles about dumb tweets and I’ll start tweeting about being a slave to the oppression of adoring fans, beautiful women, and enough money to buy a Jacuzzi for my dog.

@ChrisJohnson: “Can these fake Titan fans STFU on my timelines I don’t have a regular job so don’t compare me to you and I can care less if uthink I’m greedy.”

@M_Mendenhall: “When you look over the course of history at any great thinker, they had ideas that were not common at that time”

In a deft move, Mendenhall then proceeded to defend his tweet with more tweets!

appearances here and there! I’m good!”

Saints running back Reggie Bush on totally chilling/lounging hard/not stressing during the NFL lockout. Of course, everybody has a right to relax. But it’s just mean to rub the opulent aspects of professional athlete downtime in the faces of millions of regular, hard-working NFL fans that ask for nothing more than football on Sundays.

But the Bush is not done.

@Reggie_Bush:“Right about now we would be slaving in 100 degree heat, practicing twice a day, while putting our bodies at risk for nothing.”

Bush’s $4 million a year salary is a far cry from nothing. Working is a real buzzkill.

Unfortunately, it’s the foundation of a capitalistic society.

Titan running back Chris Johnson had a message to fans regarding his contract negotiations in late August. Johnson’s got an interesting tactic for trying to improve jersey sales.

@ArianFoster: “This is an MRI of my hamstring, The white stuff surrounding the muscle is known in the medical world as anti-awesome.”

Texan running back Arian Foster tweeted a picture of his recently injured hamstring.

There are a lot of very strong defensive players that earn their living by hitting running backs as hard as possible. It’s probably bad form to offer up a detailed medical diagram of where to aim.

@R_Mendenhall: “Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel eachother” Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall comparing professional football to slavery during the NFL labor disputes in mid-March. Look Rashard, I

14

September 14, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Hmm. Rashard Nietzsche? The grand finale...

@M_Mendenhall:“If you look back and disect what I said, I ddnt say that the NFL was slavery, I said that they parallel eachother. Look up the word parallel”

Wait! Reggie’s just joshing. He’s, like, totally just messing with us. Oh Reggie!

@Reggie_Bush:“FYI last tweet was a joke! Relax people damn it’s called a sense of humor! Cry me a river why don’t you...”

Great thinkers don’t have to be great spellers, just decent ones. Ouch.

We will Reggie. We’ll drown in our tears because we’re laughing so hard.

@Reggie_Bush: “Everybody complaining about the lockout!

Shoot I’m making the most of it! Vacation, rest, relaxing,

Public Relations majors rejoice. There is much work to be done.

RyAn BetoRi

this week in

face punchin’ photo: Bellator

Barnett and Cormier book date for Grand Prix Final the finAls of the strikeforce world Grand Prix Heavyweight Tournament are set, and two fighters who few expected to be there will face off in the championship match sometime early next year. Former UFC heavyweight champion Josh Barnett and former Olympian Daniel Cormier cashed tickets to the finals with explosive victories at “Strikeforce: Barnett vs. Kharitonov” over the weekend in Cincinnati, outlasting bigger names like Fedor Emelianenko, Alistair Overeem, and Fabricio Werdum to make it to the final. Cormier, a late entrant into the tournament and replacement for Overeem, landed a thunderous right hand on Antonio Silva to knock out the former world champion. Cormier, still fairly green in his MMA career after a decorated wrestling career, will look to continue his Cinderella story in the finals. Barnett had a workmanlike victory over veteran Sergei Kharitonov, submitting the noted striker with an arm triangle in the first round of their main event.

The Strikeforce event in Cincinnati will be a memorable night for Luke Rockhold, who claimed the organization’s middleweight title with a five round decision victory over Ronaldo Souza. Rockhold remained tough throughout the fight, landing a steady stream of strikes while fending off multiple submission attempts from the former world champion grappler.

his third straight victory with submission victory over highly touted prospect Maximo Blanco.

will feature Lozano vs. Lima and Santos vs.

Saunders at Bellator 53 on Oct. 8.

Bellator 49 saw the return of the tournament-based organization for its fifth season, and the first event of the fall featured the quarterfinals of the welterweight tournament. Ben Saunders, Douglas Lima, Luis Santos, and Chris Lozano all advanced to next month’s semifinals with victories on the night. Saunders earned the only finish of the night with a third round TKO victory over late replacement Chris Cisneros, the highly touted

the Strikeforce event in cincinnati will be a memorable night for Luke rockhold, who claimed the organization’s middleweight title with a five round decision victory over ronaldo Souza.

The fast-rising British Association of Mixed Martial Arts held its most recent event over the weekend, and multiple notables were in action. Bellator veteran Jim Wallhead earned a split decision victory over former UFC top contender Frank Trigg in the headliner, despite being a late replacement in a bout above his weight class. Despite missing weight once again, former Strikeforce No. 1 contender Paul Daley earned a decision victory over UFC veteran Jordan Radev, marking his first win in three outings. Highly touted UK prospect Jack Marshman stayed unbeaten with a TKO victory over Carl Noon, and UFC veteran Andre Winner picked up his first victory since being cut from the organization in July.

Other notable winners were top lightweight prospect Rob Sinclair and “The Ultimate Fighter 9” veteran Dean Amasinger.

Former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Muhammad “King Mo” Lawal returned to the cage for the first time since losing the title last year, and he made the most of his return by knocking out former world grappling champion Roger Gracie in the first round of their bout. The night’s final main card bout saw Pat Healy earn

Despite being cut from his Strikeforce contract over the summer, top heavyweight Alistair Overeem signed with the UFC last week and will debut against former UFC heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar in the headliner at UFC 141 on Dec. 30. Overeem was cut from UFCowned Strikeforce, but UFC and Strikeforce

Lima made his organizational debut with a lopsided victory over Steve Carl, Santos used pinpoint striking to upset former tournament finalist Dan Hornbuckle, and the Ohio product Lozano recovered after nearly being finished in the first round to win the final two rounds over Brent Weedman. The semifinal matchups

parent company Zuffa decided to re-sign him to the UFC brand and will immediately throw him into the title picture in the bout with Lesnar.

The top of the card for next month’s UFC 137 received a shakeup last week. Originally slated to feature a welterweight title fight between UFC champion Georges St-Pierre and Strikeforce champion Nick Diaz, Diaz was removed from the headliner after he skipped multiple scheduled appearances and the organization decided that he was not taking the fight seriously. Carlos Condit, originally slated to face B.J. Penn at UFC 137, was pegged as Diaz’s replacement to face St-Pierre. Penn was then without an opponent for the card, and in a shocking twist, Diaz himself was re-added to the card as the replacement opponent for Penn.

One of the most notable names in Strikeforce will make his UFC debut, as notable San Shou and MMA fighter Cung Le signed with the UFC and will take on Vitor Belfort in the headliner at UFC 139 in San Jose in November. Le was a major player in the formation of Strikeforce as an MMA organization and also helped create the wellsupported MMA fan base in San Jose.

dAVid mCkinney UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

15

Austin City Limits

Bands to check out:

UWeekly Austin is gearing up for the 10th annual festival

no eXplAnAtion is needed as to why you should check out Coldplay, Kanye West, Stevie Wonder, Cee Lo, and Arcade Fire during ACL. So instead, here are some suggestions of other bands that you should include in your ACL schedule.

fAll is cominG And school is AlreAdy bAck in session so that must mean it’s time for the Austin City Limits Music Festival. This year celebrates 10 years of bringing a weekend filled with music at Zilker Park.

Of course, UWeekly will endure three days in the sun, dusty winds or whatever else Mother Nature decides to throw our way to bring you recaps of performances that were too good not to share. Why? Because that’s what we do for you, our dear readers.

So if you’re attending the festival with us, here are some little tips to remember during your time at Zilker Park.

First of all, drink water and lots of it. The festival is outside and it is still hot. What little shade there is will be taken quickly, so stay hydrated. No matter how cool you feel, you probably won’t drink enough water. You’re allowed to bring a water bottle so fill it at one of the refilling stations. And no, you cannot substitute beer for water.

If by some miracle there is rain during ACL, learn from the attendees of ACL 2009. I know the mud probably looks like

Miniature Tigers: This playful California band is perfect for those moments you feel like you’ve entered a Wes Anderson movie.

fun, because after all, isn’t fun why we’re there? A mud bath might be great for the skin, but I’m not so sure Dillo Dirt, which is comprised of yard trimmings and treated sewage sludge, will have the same affect.

Parking is going to suck. Arrive early and be patient.

Capital Metro provides free shuttle service from Republic Square Park to Zilker Park during the festival, or you can ride your bike and park it alongside the other bikes at the festival.

If you do insist on driving to the festival, be courteous and don’t park in the surrounding neighborhoods. There’s a parking garage nearby you can pay to park at (it’s free after 5 p.m. on Friday only).

But most importantly, enjoy the tunes. There are a lot of great bands playing at all four stages. If one band doesn’t grab your attention, walk to another stage. I’m sure there is something for you out there.

Enjoy your weekend away from studying and homework, but remember, classes will still be there on Monday.

sARAh VAsQueZ

ruby Jane: While most high-schoolers spend their free time playing sports or learning how to drive, this 16-year-old travels around the country showing off her mad fiddle skills.

Mariachi el bronx: This other project from LA punk band The Bronx started off as a way to perform a less cheesy acoustic version of their song. Complete with punk-inspired mariachi garb, this band gives homage to the traditional boleros and norteño.

death From above 1979: Their first reunion show caused a ruckus at last year’s SXSW show at Beauty Bar. Luckily, there’s plenty of room at Zilker Park to enjoy this band without having to resort to tearing down a fence.

Fleet Foxes: The last time Fleet Foxes played in Austin was to a sold-out show at Stubb’s. I’m sure the crowd will get crowded quick so arrive early. It’ll be worth it.

FINE & AFFORDABLE ITALIAN CLOTHING

2815c Guadalupe St. Austin Open 7 days a week

Alternative rock Acl pAsses Are kind of like cleAn bathrooms in the pcl: incredibly difficult to find. though, there are more dubious ways of getting to finally see kanye fulfill his “dark twisted fantasy” of being on a giant screen for an hour and thirty minutes. you can either trade your car slip with a scalper for a three day pass, burrow your way into the festival, shawshank-style, or parachute in and pretend you are evil knievel. if those don’t sound like sane ideas to you, or you just don’t want to taser your way through the endless sea of people at Zilker, there are numerous other amazing things to do in Austin this Acl weekend that don’t involve coldplay.

ditch the Fest Fest Clocking in at over twelve hours, spread across five venues, and featuring over 75 bands and DJs, Ditch the Fest Fest is a sprawling and cheap time. No matter what your taste, the lineup at DFF is a local music fan’s wet dream.

DFF is all about good cheap, local fun. It gives the rest of us—who either can’t the afford the high prices at ACL or just wanted something a little different—something to do that weekend an option.

“It takes place in a more intimate setting and provides a platform for smaller acts and artists to showcase their talent,” said DFF founder Lucy Poodle.

Featuring everyone’s favorite orchestral pop band Mother Falcon, post-rock stalwarts My Education, and locals The Sour Notes, DFF’s lineup has more flavors in it than Baskin Robbins.

As if that weren’t enough, the event also boasts free beer, black light painting, a moon bounce, 8-bit video games and a dueling contest with Rick Perry. (All right, probably not that last one.)

Nevertheless, even though DFF is still missing a grand headliner, a good time is still in order.

“Granted, you won’t see Stevie Wonder at our festival,” adds Poodle. “However, we can promise a fun-filled day and night.”

silent City Limits For those who like to party in silence, get their freak on late into the night, or pursue both, then Silent City Limits is the place where you should find yourself on Friday or Saturday.

Taking place at Austin’s Enchanted Forest, SCL continues the tradition of the silent disco: participants will get their groove on through a pair of headphones, while wallflowers can get their voyeur on and watch everyone dance to the beat of their own drum. One’s headphones can be switched between two channels of intercontinental beatsmanship represented by mix-masters from Austin and beyond.

Silent ravers beware, this show will sell out.

Don’t sit on those glowsticks!

gayCL Similar to the riots going on at Ditch the Fest Fest is a brilliant ACL alternative for the rocker in your life. Fresh out of the closet this year, GAYCL is for those tired of watching dudes with stuffed crotches pretend they’re cooler than you for twenty minutes.

GAYCL is also the place to witness some of the best girl groups in Austin. Follow that Bird and Kay Leotard, including a slew of other bands, will show the men how its really done.

Better yet, all the proceeds from the event go towards Equality Texas who provides a much needed LGBT lobby to the sexually repressed Texas legislature.

aTXtrance presents: a night of Trance For those who don’t want to fork over the forty-some-odd dollars to see a guy in a mouse helmet, there is ATXtrance at Elysium.

Work your way into an altered state on a budget while not having to suffer through Tommy Lee’s DJ set. Come out to experience electronic dance music as it should be: loud, intimate, and late. Nevertheless, the event promises banging music, a safe environment, and positive energy, stuff that is sometimes hard to find in a field of thousands of people.

Set phasers to rave!

WilliAm BAss

photo: Cameron harley

Want to win tickets?

Comment on the Big Boi event page and mention UWEEKLY for your chance to win tickets!

tinyurl.com/BigBoi-austin Winners announced Sept. 15th on the UWEEKLY facebook page

Jealous? Think of what you can do with all the money you save not going to ACL Fest Let’s get real. The ACL lineup is good, but it’s not really good.

Considering that Fun Fun Fun Fest is just around the corner with an added emphasis on eclecticism and a more democratic budget, $185 dollars is a lot of money to spend on music and memories. I’m not saying it’s a bad investment, I’m just saying there are other options.

And here are 75 of them.

14. A whole years’ worth of World of Warcraft.

Things 185 dollars could buy you instead of a three-day ACL ticket

19. The self-respect in knowing that you have the mental sturdiness to hold on to the money you make.

1. 740 games of Galaga.

2. 740 gumballs 3. 370 jawbreakers 4. 185 Neil Diamond records from the Waterloo dollar bin.

5. About 3 hours’ rent in Jester.

6. The love and respect of that cute CVS employee.

7. A decent ad in Uweekly.

15. The dream of filling the largest piggy bank of all time.

16. The ability to pay for your date’s meal without falling deeper in debt.

17. The complete restoration of your long-lost Pokémon collection.

18. A night on the town with William Bass, Uweekly’s most eligible staff member.

20. Two old bikes.

21. Half of a new bike.

a strong wind.

22. Maybe enough to get Kanye West to talk to you, I mean, if you look cool.

33. A black hoodie, a utility belt, and a pair of pliers to break into ACL.

23. Definitely enough to get Fresh Millions to play your living room.

34. Hater-repellent.

35. A patent for hater-repellent.

24. The happiness in knowing you have more than the average Uweekly writer makes an issue.

36. A counterfeit ACL wristband to pretend like you were there.

25. Practically the entirety of Waterloo’s microscopic Hip-Hop section.

37. An antique gun from the Pawn Stars dudes.

8. The means to make a lucky dragrat really, really happy.

26. 12 ironic wallets from Urban Outfitters.

9. Groceries for two weeks from Wal-Mart.

27. 8 ironic flag shirts from Urban Outfitters.

10. Groceries for five days from Whole Foods.

11. A decent Halloween party.

28. A three-day Fun Fun Fun pass with enough spare for a single-day ticket for a friend.

12. A better Halloween costume.

29. Being the best friend ever.

13. Potential to bribe the Mental Health department into a bag of Adderall.

Photo: Cameron Harley

30. A rug for the living room that you’ve been putting off for months, you slob.

31. Enough for a truck rental to pick up that free couch your Corolla can’t handle.

32. Enough gas to get to California, if you have

38. The ability to attempt an A.V. Club Austin resurrection.

39. A flight to El Paso.

40. The means to drown the sorrows and regrets of flying to El Paso.

41. The potential to start a city-wide refurbishing of El Paso.

42. Paint and paintbrushes to turn El Paso’s aggressive grey to a giggly pink.

43. A flight jacket, a kilt, a medallion, or some other article of clothing everyone threatens to buy but never does.

44. Enough brownie mix to last both semesters.

45. The ability to be the most popular neighbor on the floor.

46. The realization that the only reason everyone is hanging out with you is because you have free brownies.

47. The same thing, but with weed.

48. A degree from Phoenix University.

49. The ability to potentially gamble for $370.

50. A really awesome Chargers throwback jersey.

51. The foundations of a meaningful savings account.

52. A shockingly un-pirated version of Photoshop.

53. Your internet bill.

54. Your TV bill.

55. Your phone bill.

56. The ability to have your parents off your back for once in your life.

57. About 10 posters from the Jester poster shop.

58. A clean floor and kitchen.

59. The reassurance that you’re not constantly living in your filth.

60. Cooking lessons.

61. The impressive nature of being able to make your date breakfast the next morning. I mean, if things go well.

62. A conversation starter.

63. 18 copies of “The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed. 64. The complete series of “Lost.”

65. Leverage.

66. Protection money.

67. A fake Bostonian accent and a high-end fedora.

68. A phone that doesn’t turn into a smudgy piece of shit after 5 seconds of use.

69. Comic-Con tickets.

70. Maybe 1/3 of the roundtrip airfare to San Diego.

71. 92 of those ridiculous pickles from Jimmy John’s.

72. A whole lot of Jimmy John’s in general.

73. About the difference of that pending Liberal Arts to Communications major-switch of yours.

74. Potential friendships.

75. And, finally, tickets to 2012’s ACL. Luke Winkie

The duel of the 24-hour diners Sure we’re supposed to be keeping Austin weird, but what about when we have multiple options and methods to sustain that weirdness? This was the inspiring question behind Versus, a new recurring feature at UWeekly, designed to discuss the moments where you’re caught between two distinct but equally independent options. We send one of our operatives out to talk to Austinites, ranging from grey-haired ex-hippies to dazed freshmen, on the subject of a central decision. This week, it’s the battle of organic, vegan-friendly 24-hour diners: Kerbey Lane and Magnolia Café.

Firstly, it should be noted that both restaurants were surprisingly accommodating, considering a random Journalism junior in a Chargers throwback was asking permission to record their customers talking shit about a universally loved diner. So hats off to them, the same thing probably wouldn’t have happened in a Chili’s.

“I’d like to take a bath in Kerbey Queso.”

The following are quotes taken from actual conversations that happened inside both of these stores; some of them (okay a lot of them) may be taken out of context.

Comparatively, how excited are you about your pancake order in terms of other things in life? Are you more excited about these pancakes than you were when you learned you got into UT?

“I mean, I was in the top 10% so I wasn’t really excited, so I guess these pancakes.” –Clark Wilson, Biochemistry.

fajitas. Does being in Kerbey Lane make you more of a risk taker?

Would you like to take Kerbey Queso home and pour it all over your body?

It’s your first time at Kerbey. What are you expecting?

“Definitely, I’d like to take a bath in Kerbey Queso.” –Evan Hoovestol, History

“I’m expecting to get food? I don’t know.”

If Kerbey Lane was an ancient civilization, what would it be?

“The Assyrians, because it’s brutal, murderous, and tribesman-like.”

Are you a fan of murder?

“No, I’m a Baptist.”

Petroleum Engineering

–Doug

Anderson,

So this is your second time you’ve been to Kerbey Lane?

“Yeah, the first time was this morning.”

What’d you get?

“Pancakes, but now I’m getting fajitas.”

“...yes?” – Pearce Murphy, RTF

Those are pretty low expectations. Do you generally have low expectations?

“I’m just really hungry, ok?” –John Oztopraj, Mechanical Engineering

You prefer Magnolia? Ok, talk some shit about Kerbey.

“Kerbey to me is just kinda like a Chili’s.”

How so?

“I just think Magnolia has higher quality food.”

Do you consider yourself a highquality person?

“That’s debatable.”

Do you consider yourself a traditionalist?

What’s your favorite thing at Magnolia?

“No, I get breakfast for dinner all the time.”

“Cornbread pancakes.”

So you could’ve just stuck with the pancakes for a second time, because you know they were good, but instead you’re taking a risk with the

Compared to the rest of the things you like, where does cornbread pancakes rank?

“Well, I guess it would be pretty low on the

scale.” –Allie Talway, Theater and Dance (I don’t think she ‘got’ it.)

When’s the latest you ever ordered breakfast?

“Like 4 in the morning?”

How late does it have to be before nighttime becomes breakfasttime?

“It could be breakfasttime right now, breakfasttime is whenever you’re eating breakfast. I’m completely democratic about it, and that’s why I go to Kerbey Lane.” –Dillon Williams, Computer Science.

Talk some shit, right now.

“Kerbey Lane is for freshman and it’s overrated.”

That’s what I’m looking for!

“You got it man!” – Griffin, Film.

Do you have a quote to give?

“Kerbey chicken is disappointing” – anonymous Magnolia Café employee.

“I doubt that anyone at Magnolia Café would threaten you with death so, that’s a plus. Oh my god they DO have cornmeal pancakes! That’s actually kinda gross.” –Lacey Smith, Linguistics

Luke Winkie UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

19

When life gives you lemonade, make milk.

Milk Milk Lemonade frames the serious with a healthy sense of the absurd optional italics Anthropomorphic chickens doing stand-up comedy, a little boy who choreographs elaborate dance numbers, and a bully whose parasitic twin won’t stop making him do evil things. No, these aren’t ideas for a new Lady GaGa video, but rather characters from the upcoming production of Milk Milk Lemonade.

A delectably strange and dark romp through gender roles, individuality, and good, old-fashioned hope, Milk Milk Lemonade will question your conscience as much as it will tickle your funny bone.

Moreover, the script’s deft use of comedy to broach these serious issues is where its genius lies. The show is centered around a sassy ribbon-twirling boy named Emory,

Indeed, there is something about laughing at a subject matter that deflates its stonefaced tenor, allowing us to drop our preconceptions and approach it in a fresh way. In fact, some of the most effective social commentaries on television have used comedy to tackle social problems.

“I think that the shows that have had the most impact in opening up dialogue are comedies,” said Hayes: “I Love Lucy, Will and Grace, Mary Tyler Moore. I think those shows, and laughter, can cause us to re-think our way in the world.” Check quote credit; none was given.

While the play does dabble in a some serious subject matter

“I think the show can really inspire anyone. If this little gay boy can be so confident in himself, so can you.”

20

(homophobia, factory farming, and bullying) the production is an overall ridiculously fun Song of Myself that celebrates absurdity as much as the individual.

“As much as there is a serious undertone, it is just a good time,” said Hayes. “There is singing, dancing, a giant chicken doing stand-up comedy, and a little ribbon-twirling gay boy who loves himself too much.”

Nevertheless, as the audience files out of the theater, Hayes hopes that each audience member will be in touch with their inner Emory, twirling their own personal ribbon.

“I think the show can really inspire anyone. If this little gay boy can be so confident in himself, so can you.”

September 14, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

William Bass

Photo:Kimberly Mead

whose chain-smoking Nanna just can’t realize the fact that he was “born this way.” Emory’s only friend, Linda (a giant chicken), incessantly pursues his standup comedy carrier while Elliot, Emory’s bully, wishes his parasitic twin would just leave him alone.

Even though the above might seem farcical, the production uses its comedic lens to tackle some serious contemporary issues.

“While I think most art can hit you over the head and be sort of heavyhanded when approaching certain subjects, I think this play’s comedic approach has the ability to show a different side to the subject matter,” said director Jason Hayes.

“I think that comedy can instruct us in ways that we wouldn’t allow a strictly realist approach,” said Michael Slefinger, who plays the lead role of Emory.

The Patch Halo creative director leaves Halo 4

steam has an uh-oh with the release of Dead Island

This week Ryan Payton, Creative Director of the Halo video game series, has decided to leave the company before Halo 4 entered production.

According to his interview with Kotaku, Payton was just no longer excited about the project.

“I had a great run at Microsoft,” said Payton. “I don’t regret one day of it. But after a few years, there came a point where I wasn’t creatively excited about the project anymore.”

Payton continued, adding, “The Halo I wanted to build was fundamentally different and I don’t think I had built enough credibility to see such a crazy endeavor through.”

Though Payton feels this way about Halo 4, that doesn’t mean that he thinks it will be a bad game. Payton states that he just couldn’t see himself getting as involved with the game as he felt he should have. Halo 4 is a great game, just not the game he wanted to make.

This year at E3, 343, the company that took over Halo from Bungie, announced a “new trilogy” for Halo, complete with installments four, five, and six. The new creative team is top notch, though 343 states that Payton will be missed.

Dead Island came out this past week for PS3, Xbox, and PC, but if you downloaded the game through Steam, be prepared for lots of glitches.

Steam’s release of the zombie-slaying game turns out to have been the pre-release developer version of the game, complete with about 40 known glitches ranging from melting into your surroundings to zombies with crazy flailing arms.

The patch for the PC version has been released and, thus far, there haven’t been any more issues.

Complaints were also reported for the game’s Xbox version, though a patch for those issues are said to be in the works and should be out within the next few days.

So sit tight zombie slayers, help is on the way.

Co-creators of Portal announce new game in the works Last week at PAX, Airtight Games announced a new game in the works, and this week the title and gameplay have been released.

The new game, called Quantum Conundrum, has gameplay that one could call quirky. It’s likely that Portal lovers are easily going to fall in love with this game, which has a brainteaser puzzle format just as Portal had.

In the released gameplay video, we learn that players will take the role of the twelveyear-old nephew of a genius inventor. The boy must save his uncle whose kooky antics have gotten him trapped in another dimension.

As you go through each level you learn about the different dimensions and make use

of them to get you to the next round. There’s a fluffy dimension in which objects have a kind of cotton candy appearance and become much lighter than they’d normally be, making them easy to throw and push around. There will also be a gravity-reverse dimension, a dimension where time is slowed down, and at least one more dimension that has yet to be disclosed.

Quantum Conundrum is set to be released sometime next year for the PS3, Xbox, and available on PC through Steam download.

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Hook Up, Horns: Doin’ it in the dorms recently releAsed from the hArsh yolk of parental supervision, freshmen enter the dorms ready to embrace all the freedom that adulthood entails. Unfortunately, instead of centers of responsible decision-making, dorms tend to be post-adolescent penal colonies ruled by bitter RAs, where alcohol abuse, Adderall-fueled all-nighters, and sexual experimentation are common occurrences.

From the agony of “sexile” to the maddening frustration of no privacy for masturbation, co-ed dormitories can be a perfect storm of sexual turmoil.

The first problem those seeking to do it in the dorms encounter is the roommate.

Whether you’re matched with a cock-blocking homebody or an insatiable sex freak who’d prefer you slept in the hall, boundaries will need to be established. Polly, a UMASS Amherst student, and her roommate were able to rely on common sense and mutual respect, but other students may need to develop a system.

“Most people I knew just texted when not to come to the room and then later, when they could come back,” Polly said.

Of course, even with good communication, those times when a roomie has texted a warning not to return can create awkward situations for the student banned from their own bedroom.

“The main issue with dorm sex, besides fitting two or more people into those stupid extra-long beds, is sexile,” said Katie, a former UT student.

“There seemed to be people who basically lived

it’s all uzz b e h t t u o ab www.uweeklyaustin.com 22

September 14, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

in the common areas and I always figured they had slutty roommates.”

Beyond disrespectful roommates, the cramped corridors of most dorms can present other issues, as well as more than a few opportunities. Since dorm security at UMASS was pretty much a joke, Polly said the sheer convenience of the dorms could sometimes be problematic.

“The easy access in general, though, could cause someone who would usually have time to think things through or change their mind, to have regrets after. Many parties occur in the dorms and the beds are right there,” Polly said.

For other students, however, the convenience was welcome and the other hassles were really only minor hurdles.

“The reason having sex in the dorms was so fun was there was an element of sneakiness,” said Jane, a UT graduate. “If you’re on an all-boys floor, or living in Littlefield like I did, suddenly things like going to the bathroom become covert operations.”

Jane tends to be more nonchalant about dorm sex than other students, however.

the top bunk, masturbating. I thought it was pretty hot, but after that he would only have sex in the showers with me,” said Jane.

While Jane sees shower sex as one of the dorm’s “saving graces,” Katie did not share her enthusiasm.

“Don’t do it in the communal bathrooms,

“you know, working in the honors dorms, I’ve never really had to address this issue before.”

Describing an experience with a boyfriend that would have left many students scarred for life, Jane was anything but mortified.

“Once we were getting it on in the bottom bunk, and I could hear his roommate on

that’s fucking nasty,” said Katie, before adding, “At least wear shower shoes.”

Katie also pointed out how even students who aren’t getting any can have their sexual desires hindered by the dormitory lifestyle.

“Don’t forget that even masturbation requires logistical planning when you share a bedroom. Sucks having to explicitly explain to your roommate why they need to leave the room for you to ‘take a nap.’”

Last but not least is the problem of noise pollution. Having the room across the hall blare the new Ke$ha album night and day is obnoxious, but the situation Katie ran into is something else entirely.

“At one point my RA approached me and said ‘Um, I just wanted to let you know that I’ve gotten some complaints about, um, the amount of noise you make when, you know, you’re having relations,’” said Katie.

“And then there was a really long awkward silence and she said, ‘You know, working in the honors dorms, I’ve never really had to address this issue before.’”

deVon tinCknell WWW.FBomBFoReVeR.Com

Emo’s East starts off just right with sold out show

Photo by Elijah Watson Walls littered with tour posters, bathrooms reeking of day-old urine and the scent of stale beer and cigarette buds filling the air; survey says: yes, this is the one and only Emo’s. A haven for punk rock moshers, eclectic trendsetters and bands of all types, Emo’s has become something of a landmark for Austin.

Now, Emo’s is moving into the future of live music with Emo’s East.

Where Emo’s is like the rebellious and catastrophic little brother you have to attend to even though you don’t really want to, Emo’s East is like what you would hope he becomes in his later years. Spacious and innovative, Emo’s East is making an attempt to rise to the top of Austin’s live music scene, and their opening debut on Sunday, September 11, was noticeably impressive.

Minus the long lines to the bathroom and bar, the venue did well for its first night on the town, enlisting help from acts Bodytronix, 400 Blows and the Butthole Surfers.

Bodytronix and their body-moving electronic beats started off the night, leading up to a

performance by California’s very own 400 Blows.

In a haze of flying beer cans, banging heads and colorful lights, 400 Blows were ferocious

three large screens, and you have a concoction that is strangely intriguing. Going through songs such as “Negro Observer,” “Who Was

Spacious and innovative, Emo’s East is making an attempt to rise to the top of Austin’s live music scene. and intimidating, lead singer Skot Alexander flailing himself all over the stage as the trio went through songs such as “Sleepless,” “Down the Hatch” and “Let the Lightning Strike.”

Butthole Surfers live up to their legacy, their music a combination of cacophonous sounds, warped vocals and weird lyrical content. Add in some scenes from old- and new-school horror movies being projected on

in My Room Last Night” and many others, the Butthole Surfers were something out of a demented nightmare, their weird, goofy demeanor leaving fans happy and satisfied.

The show was very enjoyable to some, especially concert-attendee Kim Foli.

“It’s been a cool experience, and a good show so far,” said Foli while waiting in line to take a restroom break before the Butthole Surfers went on.

Other spectators were also very positive about the venue’s opening.

“It’s a great venue, and I support any venue that puts on the Butthole Surfers,” said Nick H. “It is a cool venue, and considering all of the different acts that will be performing here soon, this venue will add a new flavor to the music scene,” said Philip C., another spectator enjoying the night. But, not everyone was entirely supportive of Emo’s East’s big debut.

“This Emo’s will probably not have as much character as the old Emo’s,” said Patrick P. “The old Emo’s had so much character, and this Emo’s does not look like it will.”

Hate it or love it, Emo’s East is already picking up some pretty large acts including Taking Back Sunday, Tech N9ne and J. Cole, among others.

Emo’s East is proving to be a competing venue for the likes of Stubb’s and The Moody Theater, but only time will tell as this blooming epicenter for live music pushes itself to hang with the big dogs of Austin’s music scene.

Eli Watson UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

23

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Super Crossword

Crypto Quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

MEN OF LETTERS

CLUE: K EQUALS P

Sudoku

Diamond Rings

Pho

to D

iam

ond

Rin

gs

Garage Band, glam, and colossal expectations Toronto’s John O’Regan is the sole constituent of Diamond Rings; essentially a moniker to release delectably stripped-down glam-pop songs with a glitzy, gender-queer image behind it. His oldest songs were happily passed around through blogs. His music videos were minimalist, do-it-yourself affairs. Success came to him because he was yearning for success, working hard, caring deep, tirelessly promoting, and, yes, writing great songs. That sugary, 10-song debut record? It’s just been reissued by Astralwerks, a subsidiary of Virgin Music. We recently caught up with O’Regan while he was on tour. He’ll be dropping by Emo’s on the 16th.

It’s been nearly a year since your debut LP Special Affections came out, and I know you’ve been busy with your other band. What is Diamond Rings focusing on right now?

I’m already halfway done with my next album. I’ve been working on it nonstop, I was up in Montreal for two weeks before this tour doing some recording and I’m heading back as soon as we’re done with the tour. It’s all I’ve been doing.

The songs on Special Affections dated back to 2008, are the songs for the new album written recently or are they being drawn from all over your writing career?

They’re predominately songs that I’ve written after all the other ones on the first record. Which is really exciting because I’ve learned a lot since then, I’m really excited about the direction it’s going.

to write and record an album in Garage Band and get picked up by a major label that puts out Kylie Minogue and Brian Ferry. I think there’s something, at least to me, really cool about that. I hope that record shows people where I started and that it’s still okay to do things on your own in 2011, and not worry about having all the answers. That doesn’t mean that I want to be tagged as a mid-fi, homespun project for a career, it was the product of a time.

Now that you’re on a bigger label and have more resources, has that impacted your songwriting at all?

Definitely, it’s going to change the finished project. In terms on the way I write and how I start working on a track, nothing’s changed, other than I feel a lot more confident. It does mean I can take my tracks to a producer

“In the real world nobody gives a shit if you just played a theater opening for Robyn, you’re just a dude in leggings carrying a guitar into a van.”

Looking back on Special Affections, is there anything you’d like to have done differently?

There are and there aren’t. I think every record, every song, marks a moment in time and it is the album that got me where I am. Which is currently pulling up to a club in Alabama. I hope there’s something inspiring about my story so far, to show kids that it’s possible

and get him to get the sounds that I originally imagined. I’m no longer completely limited by economic necessity. Which, sometimes, can be fantastic motivation. I think interesting art comes from a parameter to work from. But as far as affecting my art in a negative way, not at all, our team is working towards something that I think will be very special.

Do you think people know what the Diamond Rings project is, or is that something that will be formed over the course of more music?

On some level I think it’s really healthy to keep a distance on what you do. A lot of the stuff I try is experiments, stuff to try just to see what might happen. People can forget that a lot of songs come from experiments, I feel like trying new stuff helps me get to a place that I’m not even aware of yet. I try to stay open when I’m writing. You have to take those chances because you might stumble on something brilliant.

Do you feel like people are expecting something from you?

I’m not sure, really. On this tour I keep running into people who love the album and how it sounds and also meeting people who’ve never heard me before and take it as face value.

I’m doing this because I want to be the best I can be, and that challenge manifests itself in wanting to write a fantastic pop album. That’s enough motivation for me.

You certainly dress more flamboyant than the average performer, and you’re touring in places like Alabama.

Does that ever get to be a problem?

You end up having two different worlds. You have the imagined world inside a club, and I can’t think of any performance I’ve ever given that I’ve felt endangered. I get puzzled looks, but I like that. There’s a process of winning over a skeptical crowd to come with me and go where I want to go, and when that happens it’s a feeling unlike any other; but outside the venue in the real world, nobody gives a shit if you just played a theater opening for Robyn, you’re just a dude in leggings carrying a guitar into a van. And yeah, people are idiots, but that’s nothing new. I do what I do to provoke a reaction and I’m comfortable and confident in myself and I fully aware plenty of people won’t understand. If everyone understood I’d be boring.

Luke Winkie

diamond rings will be playing at emo’s on september 16th.

UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

27

Wednesday

The Megaphone Show @ New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood Ave

There is not much that is free on Wednesdays. The only givens seem to be homework, terrible television, and having to probably wake up early. Well, The New Movement theater is taking the weight off your “hump day” with their Megaphone Show: Local Austinites will share some true stories that will be turned into comedy gold. This event is always packed and always free, but if you want to guarantee a chair, and not have to play musical ones, you can reserve one for five dollars.

Tickets: www.newmovementtheate.com

The top events & shows in Austin this week

friday

Ultimate One Hit Wonder Sing-Along

’80s Dance Party

@ The Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Don’t feel like getting chased then beaten down by a massive security guard at ACL after you try and sneak in? The ’80s dance party has your good time waiting, without any dubiousness—well, maybe a little. Come out decked out in your most appropriate gear as you dance your ACL blues away to the best music that this hyper-saturated decade has to offer.

Memory lane can be just as annoying as it can be pleasurable. The Action Pack series at the Alamo has decided to stimulate you with both of these sensations as you relive those terrible times you couldn’t remember the Macarena, had too many jager bombs, sang Chumbawumba till your lungs bled, and impressed your friends with your knowledge of Vanilla Ice. In other words, come out to sing the hits you hate to love.

@ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

The Dalles

Grits and Gravy! (Soul Dance Party)

Smith Westerns

The Sweet Nuthin

Pretty Lights

Gary Clark Jr.

Channel 13

North Mississippi Allstars

Manu Chao

Deadmau5

Jesse Woods

Weight (Dubstep)

Kumail Nanjiani

Monarchs

Big Boi

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe Trophy’s, 2008 S Congress Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research

Will bass 28

thursday

September 14, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Barbarella, 615 Red River

Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces Antone’s, 213 W 5th

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Parish, 214 E 6th

Antone’s, 213 W 5th Stubb’s, 801 Red River Plush, 617 Red River

Mohawk, 912 Red River

saturday

sunday

monday

Sleepy Sun @ Emo’s, 603 Red River

Sleepy Sun bring the hard, crunchin’ psych rock like no one else in Austin. They’re the best thing to happen to this city since The Black Angels. Local chooglers Smoke and Feathers hit the green first.

Africa Night featuring Zoumountchi

I Luv Video Presents: CINESUNDAYS

@ The Sahara Lounge, 1413 Webberville

@ 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

ACL weekend can either be a blast or a pain in the ass. If you are one of the unlucky folks who usually think of it as the latter, ditch the overcrowded scene in central Austin and cool your heels out east at the old T.C.’s Lounge. This is the perfect time to check out the newly renovated eastside haunt which boasts free parking (!) and the African musical stylings of Zoumountchi.

It’s Sunday. You’re broke, hungover, and can’t seem to get the sharpied genitalia and swastikas off your forehead, no matter how hard you try.

Walk, jump, or fly a couple blocks north to the 29th Street Ballroom for their free movie night on Sundays. They will be screening Idiocracy.

►►Also Worthy

MotownMondaysfeat.Matchmakerband The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Monday Night Mash

Cold Towne Theater, 4803 Airport

Aloke Dutta (Master Tabla Percussionist) Momo’s, 618 W 6th

tuesday

Woodsman @ Emo’s, 603 Red River

►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Empire of the Sun

Nasty Nasty

Tin Can Phone

Iron & Wine

Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. Lamberts, 401 W 2nd

Wild Beasts

Parish, 214 E 6th

New Noise Barbarella, 615 Red River

ND, 501 E 5th

Stubb’s, 801 Red River

Hoop Church

Hot Mama’s Espresso, 2401 E 6th

Heart and Soul Soundsystem Lovejoy’s, 604 Neches

TV at the Alamo: Breaking Bad

Alamo Drafthouse Lamar, 1120 S Lamar

Woodsman make the kind of racket that we’ve grown to love from Animal Collective, except these dudes do the tribal thing with the standard weapons, drums and guitars.

Tickets: www.ticketweb.com

►►Also Worthy

James McMurtry

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Austin Poetry Slam

29th Street Ballroom, 2908 Fruth St

Pearl Jam Twenty

Alamo Drafthouse Lamar, 1120 S Lamar

UWeeklyAustin.com | September 14, 2011

29

photo: Julie patterson

Spiderhouse 2908 fruth street

► ACes lounGe

► FRiends

(222 e 6th)

(208 e 6th st.)

$0.75 lonestar tallboys

$2 Vodka bombs

► ChuGGin’ monkey

► the liBRARy

(219 e 6th)

(407 e 6th st.)

$2 wells/domestics

$1 domestics, wells $2 import bottles

► Blind piG

► touChe

(317 e 6th)

(417 e 6th st.)

$2.50 wells/domestics

$1 schnapps

► RooFtop BAR

► tiniest BAR in teXAs

(2716 Guadalupe)

(817 w 5th st.)

$4 long islands

$1 bud light and bud

► tRudy’s

► sApphiRe

(409 w. 30th)

(411 e 6th)

$4.95 sangria ritas

$2 you call it til 11pm

► mAGGie mAe’s

► mooseknuCkle puB

(323 e. 6th)

(406 e 6th)

$2 domestics til 11pm/$2 wells til 9pm

$2 wells/domestics til 11 pm

► AGAVe

► Bikini’s spoRts BAR & GRill

A

west campus classic, Spiderhouse has always provided a care-free atmosphere to customers looking for a leisurely drink. With an ambiance that can be described as “Kerbey Lane with an edge,” Spiderhouse also serves a bevy of surprisingly tasty bar food, including (but not limited to): tacos, sandwiches, burritos, and pizza. With all that food, as well as a 12 hour happy hour that ranges from 7am-7pm, it’s obvious why Spiderhouse is often on people’s short-list when it comes to bars they frequent. Their specialty drinks are also delectable in their own right, with the “Gasolina” deserving honorable mention for it’s potency as well as its unique attempt at mixing Bacardi Silver with espresso and condensed milk on ice. I’m not saying I know why that works, but it just does, dammit.

BRiAn BoGARt

► CuAtRos

(607 trinity)

(6901 i-35)

(1004 w 24th st.)

$0.50 wells, $2 beers, $3 mix shots, $3 bombs

$4 big daddy drafts

$2 tecates and modelo esp. $5 deer and beer

► puRe

► GinGeR mAn

► FRiends

(419 e. 6th)

(301 lavaca st.)

(208 e 6th st.)

$0.25 wells all night

logo pint night

$2 Vodka bombs

► spill

► lAVACA st. BAR

► mAGGie mAe’s

(212 e. 6th)

(405 lavaca st)

(323 e 6th st.)

$1 wells/miller high life

big beer mondays. $6 25oz.

$2 wells

T O G E V WE’

S D O O W R TIGE

2 1 ‘ R U O T PGA

TRIVIA NIGHTS 8-11PM M O R F S Y A D S TUE R TAB A B F F O 0 3 5 $ WIN