October 12, 2011

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L I T S

vol. 3 issUe 8

U S L

S K C P 10

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octoBeR 12, 2011

005

5 how Steve Jobs

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6 austin community college

017

17 We lost the ou game,

018

18 the battle of the 99-cent

made college life better for all of us

goes smoke-free

but we dressed better

drive-thru taco combo

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helP others while helPing yoUr libido in The WealThiesT coUnTry in the world, it’s easy to let the guilt of such privilege get you down from time to time. Consequently, you might be on the lookout for ways give back to those less fortunate.

Luckily, Do512 has had the same idea, except with a little twist.

For the entire month of October, Neumate, a new local dating site designed to help hip Austinites find each other, has matched forces with everyone’s favorite event site, Do512, in order to bring you an opportunity to help others while helping your libido.

From now until the end of Halloween night, you will be able to create a profile on Neumate’s site with the guarantee that one canned good will be donated to a local food bank. That means that for every profile created, one can of non-perishable food will be donated to either the Capital Area Food Bank of Texas or the Hope Food Pantry.

But why stop there? If you decide to add a photo of yourself to your profile, another

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canned good will be donated. If you decided to purchase credits to Neumate’s pay-as-you-go system, a whopping total of 10 canned goods will be donated in your honor to those who struggle to buy groceries.

So, if you’ve been sitting on the fence about online dating, now is as good a time as ever to lend your profile to a good cause. But, if you don’t feel like creating a profile just so thousands of creepy, horny people can stare at photos of you for hours, you can always join in the effort and make a manual donation at any one of the participating locations, including the Do512 office at 2208 South Lamar Blvd.

If you’re wondering what makes Neumate any different that all those other national dating sites, you’ve just answered your own question.

In true Austin fashion, Neumate concentrates on keeping things local and private. In putting an emphasis on giving you access to profiles of people who live in your area, Neumate believes that a local advantage is best. Also, Neumate touts on its 100% private activity features, such as browsing, messaging as well as live chats.

Now, that sounds like a deal to me!

aManDa chaPPeL

you can make your canned good donations at the following locations: • All 3 h20 locations: 500 South Lamar Blvd, 7711 Brodie Ln, 505 Slaughter Ln • All 3 genie Car Wash locations: 7320 Burnet Rd, 1311 S Lamar Blvd, 1021 W William Cannon Dr • All 3 Opal divine’s locations: 700 W 6th St, 3601 S Congress Ave Ste K, 12709 Mopac & Parmer Lane • Bennu Coffee: 2001 E 19th St • Both Austin Snap kitchen locations: 4616 Triangle Ave, 1014 W 6th St • Progress Coffee: 500 San Marcos St • Irie Bean: 2310 S Lamar Blvd #102

a TechnoloGical kinG of innovaTion, Steve Jobs was a man whose inventions helped make our lives easier and more enjoyable. If it were not for the iPod, we would not have something to divert our attention away from the many “drag rats” asking for spare change, and we would not have a reason to creepily look through someone’s playlist in hopes of finding bands of similar interests. If it were not for the MacBook we would not have Skrillex, Deadmau5 and many of the other DJs that have come to be a staple of the parties and clubs we frequent.

The list goes on and on, but Jobs and his symbolic Apple have contributed so much to a world that thrives on technological advancements and the latest electronics. So, in honor of the king of tech-savvy swag, we salute Jobs with the inventions that make our college lives easier.

When the iPod first debuted I remembered the commercials had flickers of neon colors in the background and a dancing silhouette that I could only imagine was the result of a large dose of crack or music. Going with the latter of the two, the iPod’s sole purpose is to satisfy our music fix: since its release, the iPod has grown from a five GB lightweight to a 160 GB heavyweight in a span of 11 years. Although the iPod has become the electronic best friend we have always wanted, it serves many other purposes too.

UT campuses are always congested with people: Mornings are filled with pedestrians, bikers, drivers and skaters and one of the best solutions to this inevitable problem is the iPod. Crank up a song to 11 and next thing you know you have made

it from Jester to the Chemical and Petroleum Engineering Building in record time. When it is not accompanying us to our classes, the iPod is providing the jams for our parties.

When we are too broke to pay an actual DJ, the iPod comes to the rescue. Just make a playlist with over five hours of music, label it “Booty-Bounce” and your party will have people going insane.

Just be wary of that one guy who gets really drunk and tries to put on a playlist with nothing but the same artist: We get that you like Lil Wayne, so no need to have “6 Foot, 7 Foot” on repeat.

The iPod is great, but another member of the Apple family

“wHen tHe ipod first debUted i remembered tHe commercials Had flickers of neon colors in tHe backGroUnd and a dancinG silHoUette tHat i coUld only imaGine was tHe resUlt of a larGe dose of crack or mUsic.” has risen to the top as well: The MacBook. A note-taking, music-making machine, the MacBook is the answer to being a diligent student, and fulfilling our dreams as a part-time rapper. As Accounting and Plan II major Geetsikha Ruly Pathak said, “It helps people feel Hipster even when they are not.”

pick up a freaking copy

Seriously, MacBooks are your ticket into the cool kid’s club.

From musicians to teachers and even actors, the MacBook is a technological statement: What was once the new kid on the block has since become the leader of computers, and if you ever doubted that just ask Justin Long.

Last but not least on the list of Jobs’ inventions is the iPad, which is the best of both worlds in regards to the iPod and MacBook. Why is the iPad such a treasure in today’s society?

Well, it’s a trifecta of electronic awesomeness. You can view websites on a moderately large screen; download music, games and movies and read on the go.

But there are even more hidden treasures in the iPad: Gorillaz creator Damon Albarn created The Fall using the iPad, and Bjork’s soon-to-be released album Biophilia was partially created on an iPad. That is right, the iPad could very well be your ticket to superstardom, so for those students who own an iPad, maybe now is the time to reconsider living that rock star dream you always fantasized of.

Whether you’re a closeted hipster, a student by day and musical maestro by night, or just someone who is a foot soldier in the war against PCs, Kindles and anything else that attempts to steal Apple’s thunder, you have Steve Jobs to thank for that. He has made our lives better in ways that we may take for granted, and even though Jobs is no longer with us, his legacy still lives on in the many nifty electronic items he helped create.

eLi WatSon

Photo: karissa Rodriguez

smokers need not aPPly aUstin commUnity colleGe stUdents react to new smokefree campUses policy cHanGe The aUsTin commUniTy colleGe (ACC) board of trustees voted on Oct. 3 to implement a smoke-free policy at all campuses. The new policy change will take effect on Jan. 2, 2012.

Previously, a college committee had considered making designated smoking areas at all eight campuses, but state budget cuts made paying for facility improvements to comply with legal mandates unfeasible, according to an Oct. 5 press release issued by ACC. “We are committed to maintaining a healthy and safe environment for our students and employees,” said the college’s Board of Trustees chairwoman Barbara Minkin in the press release. “ACC joins a growing number of Texas colleges and universities taking this step. It makes sense for us from both health and financial perspectives.”

Most students interviewed feel the policy change is a good move and believe that banning smoking will benefit the health of all students.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t really feel bad for the smokers,” said ACC student Kelly MacNiven. “It pollutes the air and secondhand smoke is a killer. It’s just another reason for people to quit, I hope. Maybe ACC should start offering help for people quitting.”

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“as a smoker, i don’t feel like i’m welcomed at acc anymore. where am i sUPPosed to smoke now? in tHe middle of tHe street? tHis new policy blatantly is a sHot at smokers.”

College officials agree with MacNiven and plan to provide resources to smokers to help quit smoking.

“ACC understands there are great challenges for people who want to stop smoking,” said executive vice president of college operations Mary Hensley in the press release. “We plan to hold smoking cessation workshops and make sure students and employees are aware of other resources available to them.”

Despite the health benefits cited by college officials and some students, smokers who attend classes or work at ACC are feeling outcasted by the college.

“As a smoker, I don’t feel like I’m welcomed at ACC anymore,” said ACC student Ryan Nelson.

“Where am I supposed to smoke now? In the middle of the street? This new policy blatantly is a shot at smokers.”

Nelson explained that even though ACC plans to offer workshops and resources to help smokers quit, it isn’t enough to deter him from smoking.

“Just because I can’t smoke on campus

anymore doesn’t mean I’m willing to stop,” said Nelson. “A policy isn’t going to change my mind, and even though I know the risks that come with smoking, I enjoy it and smoking helps me de-stress, so I’m not quitting just because the college wants to tell students how to live their lives.”

ACC student Sarah Ingram agrees with Nelson, but says that she will continue to keep smoking on-campus even after the new policy takes effect.

“I don’t know how ACC expects to carry through with this change,” said Ingram. “I’ll lay low the first few weeks the policy starts, but you know that ACC isn’t really going to enforce this all that well.”

According to the press release, college administration will develop a process to implement the policy, including provisions for notification, signage, complaint procedures, and enforcement.

“I also go to Texas State University and they have the same policy, but I still smoke there with no consequences,” said Ingram. “I think this new policy is just the ACC admin blowing smoke in our faces.”

kaRiSSa RoDRiGuez

Passion projects How the University Theater Guild thrives on love and community The University Theater Guild was not built solely for theater majors. In fact it wasn’t even really built by theater majors. The constituents of The University Theater Guild is primarily composed of kids who came up through high school doing class productions and community playhouses, but have focused their collegiate studies on something else.

“I think UTG comes together as a group of kids who just love theater,” said Lacey Smith, one of the Guild’s second year performers.

Operating without UT funding and generally thriving on the fervor of the students involved, the program is coming off of one of its most profitable years of its existence.

The next UTG production, All in the Timing, opens on Friday. It’s a comedic, fast-paced collection of philosophical and occasionally romantic vignettes, all with a focus on timing.

It’s the kind of play theater kids love mastering, all indelible, quirk-laden dialogue.

“It’s very funny, and challenging, and since it’s divided into five short parts, everyone gets a chance to shine,” said Smith.

In a sense, it’s similar to the Guild’s last production, Almost Maine, another play heavy on words, quirks, and human relationships, except Timing is a little more twisted. The parts

include a continually resetting first meeting in a cafe, three chimpanzees attempting to write Hamlet, a play written entirely in a made-up language, and something called “Variations on the Death of Trotsky.”

The members of UTG all seem to be each other’s primary circle of friends: they play together, they drink together, they party together, and at the end of the day, they work

opportunity to have fun but we have pride, we’re performers. We all have a great deal of experience in theater even if that’s not necessarily what our life goal is. We have the passion but we don’t want to put the pressure on trying to turn it into a career, which can sometimes make theater something you don’t love.”

Kyle Connealy has been in the program for less than a month, also through a mutual friend.

“We all have a great deal of experience in theater even if that’s not necessarily what our life goal is. We have the passion but we don’t want to put the pressure on trying to turn it into a career, which can sometimes make theater something you don’t love.” together. Smith found the group from a mutual friend last spring as a freshman, and said that a lot of the friends she’s made through college have come from that group.

“I think we strike a balance of doing theater for fun and doing theater because we want to do good theater,” said Smith. “There’s plenty of

“I like all the people, it’s great. Everyone is crazy but also really accepting. It’s very relaxed.”

Everyone we talked to made special emphasis that despite the lax environment, everybody buckles down at rehearsal. They’re truly in it for the craft rather than the community, which can be rare when we’re talking about low-barrier-of-

entry university organizations.

The main thing UTG saps from the school is the theater department’s prop house. But most of the performances happen outside of UT’s jurisdiction.

UTG is a passion project through and through, nobody is really getting paid, the performances happen with relatively low expectations, and although ticket sales are nice, there’s scarcely a notion of any of this leading somewhere.

The kids involved are all very inclusive.

“We’ve actually seen quite a few new faces since last year,” said Smith. “We all tend to come from the same background.”

In the very future-forward, fast-paced world of college, it’s nice to know some things happen without any real overhead. You get the sense that UTG will persist as long as some portion of UT stays perennially in love with traditional performance. There’s a distinctly warm feeling knowing students ranging from biochemistry seniors to linguistics sophomores can come together for a few nights of hard work (and endless weekends of bonding) to put on a show, just because it seems like a fun thing to do.

Luke Winkie

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eventS on oR aRounD caMPuS

Publisher Michael Huereque

PuLiTZER-WinnER TO READ WORK Oct 13

OCCuPY AuSTin October 6 - December 6

Have you ever wondered what it takes to win a Pulitzer? Well, author Jennifer Egan might not tell you all her secrets, but you can certainly listen to some of her work to get inspired.

Yep, it’s still going on. So if you haven’t gotten your ass down there by now, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Better yet, get your ass down there and show some love for the 99%.

Avaya Auditorium (2.302) 7:30-9:30 PM

Austin City Hall

BLAnTOn MuSEuM OF ART Oct 14

nE-YO AnD KREAYShAWn Oct 19

This month’s B Scene is inspired by the current exhibit, which just so happens to be “El Anatsui”. To celebrate the African-themed exhibit, the museum will feature ’70s funk, afrobeats and liquor!

Cartoon character Kreayshawn will be the opening act to the much more talented Ne-Yo. If you’re in the mood for out-of-breath spoken word without a hook mixed with a mediocre beat, this bitch is for you.

6-10 PM B Scene or B square

Frank Erwin Center 8-11 PM

Tickets are now on sale. If you’ve wanted to help out with the wildfire relief efforts, but haven’t yet and simultaneously love country music, then this is the gig for you. From George Strait to Randy Rogers, it’s sure to be a boot-scootin’ time.

Photographers Elijah Watson Shannon Grant

Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Devon Tincknell Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne

youR GuiDe to aLL thinGS BuRnt oRanGe. WEdnESdAy, OCT. 12

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Concordia Invitational, Round Rock, Texas, TBA

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SATurdAy, OCT. 15

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Opinion

That’s what she said.

What’s your idea of a good first date?

Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

Air It Out

dear stinky, Is it just me, or is there a serious lack of hygiene infecting college students these days? Just the other day, I spoke with not one, but two college students who looked like they hadn’t bathed or brushed their teeth in two weeks.

I know we all are busy bees. We have school, work, and life to tend to, but that doesn’t mean that you get a free pass on forgetting to take a shower. Seriously, part of the fun about college is the ever challenging game of trying to get laid. How do you think you’re going to do that if there’s gunk in your teeth, your clothes smell like a dumpster and your hair is as greasy as a car engine?

Unless you want to attract someone who is just as bad at self-care as you, I suggest you all start taking a damn shower, brushing your damn teeth (and flossing!) and washing your damn clothes. It’s not hard people. I’m not asking you to manscape or spend hours primping. But come on. This is hygiene 101.

Sincerely, Your mother’s not going to do it for you How to get us to actually print what you write.

1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto.

Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to AirItOut@uweeklyaustin.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space.

“If it’s just a first date getting to know someone, I’m fine just hanging out. You don’t need to do anything too fancy.”

“Not the movies. Anything but the movies.”

Kara Konop

Roberta Blackmer

“For someone to enjoy talking to me and smile and giggle when needed.”

Thumper Gosney

“I’m just gonna be honest and say Chili’s cause the margaritas are cheap, it’s a low-key environment, and they’ll let you order from the kid’s menu.”

Kelli Shultz

“I appreciate creativity, not your typical dinner and a movie.”

Emmie Procter

“Having the guy pick me up and take me out to a dinner at a nice restaurant...then surprise me by taking me somewhere fun and relaxing where we could get dessert and spend the evening getting to know one another.”

Celeste Castillo

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 12, 2011

9

Texasbloodbath Sooners make Horns whipping boy; moving on to OSU To beat Oklahoma, Texas needed to come out Saturday and play a perfect game.

Instead, what the Longhorns gave us was a perfect disaster. It was a masterpiece of turnovers, defensive breakdowns, penalties, and egregious mistakes. Oklahoma played their best possible game; Texas played its worst.

What resulted was a macabre blood bath of Texas-sized proportions. In colloquial terms, Oklahoma had the ray gun and Texas was the Nazi zombies. Saturday’s game was no less outlandish or cartoonish.

At the beginning of the game there were no signs of impending doom. In fact, prospects were hopeful when Texas’ defense made two inspiring stops in the red zone to hold OU to two field goals. Then Fozzy Whittaker, the only Longhorn to rise to the occasion, had two big carries for 46 yards that led to a

(but at least we’re not from Oklahoma)

pivotal field goal to make it 6-3 going into the second quarter. By all appearances, it seemed we had a game on our hands.

Then the second quarter happened.

Oklahoma scored four touchdowns. Landry

side of the end zone and caught the balls with athletic ease and no sign of resistance. It was the theme of the day: Texas’ secondary getting absolutely dominated. Somewhere in between these two Stills TDs, David Ash threw a pick-6

Oklahoma had the ray gun and Texas was the Nazi zombies.

Jones accounted for three of them, passing to Ryan Broyles for one and to Kenny Stills for the other two. Both TDs to Stills looked like an ex-NFL player was playing in the local flag football league. Stills sauntered to the left

and Fozzy had a breathtaking 100-yard kickoff return. Fozzy’s run would be the only (positive) memorable moment for Texas all day. 34-10 heading into halftime. Even the ever-cool Mack Brown seemed pissed and at a loss for words.

Still, Texas would be receiving the kickoff.

A touchdown could at least keep things interesting. Then, three plays in, Case McCoy got sacked, fumbled, and the fumble was returned for a Sooner TD. We’ll stop there; no need for further punishment. I had been taking notes on the game and after that TD I put my pad down. There was no point. The game was over and the best possible outcome was that Texas could save some face. That, too, wouldn’t happen.

Towards the end of the third quarter, the announcers, Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit, spent several minutes talking baseball. I learned that Herbstreit prefers the finesse of shutout pitching to the excitement of home-run heavy baseball. This is what fans had been reduced to: Herbstreit’s baseball

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TUESDAYS 9AM + WEDNESDAY 7PM {45MINS}

preferences were more interesting than the football game. A game, mind you, that’s supposed to be among the best college football has to offer.

Final score: 55-17. Consolatory sentiments of “at least I’m not from Oklahoma” reign loudly and rampantly. It’s all we had. Plus this statistic: Texas’ roster has 35 freshman and 21 sophomores, far outnumbering upperclassmen.

But forget the future. Right now it’s the 2011 season and Texas fans are rightfully demanding success. What’s most worrisome about the OU loss is its timing. Next week Texas has No. 6 Oklahoma State, a team that has just as much offensive firepower (ranked 1st in the country for points-per-game) as Oklahoma. OSU does it with passing. Justin Blackmon, the top NFL receiver prospect, and Brandon Weeden, one of the most underrated QBs in college football, are perhaps the country’s top tandem. This is a nightmarish scenario for a Texas secondary that was absolutely torched Saturday.

So what’s to be done? After that colossal spanking from OU, how is Texas supposed to bounce back against OSU, a team almost as good as the one that just spanked us? For one, Texas needs to forget the spanking and move on. There’s still a lot of season to be had. A win against OSU is going to be tough and unlikely, but there a few key weaknesses that make OSU more beatable than the Sooners. continueD on PaGe 12

The Oklahoma State defense is nowhere near as nasty as the Sooners’ D. Like the Sooners, OSU can make plays (two INTs and a fumble Saturday), but OSU also gives them up. In all but one game, the Cowboys have allowed 25+ points; they’re rated 72nd in the country for points allowed. Teams have had success running and passing, both of which Texas can do when the Horns are at their best. To win, Texas is going to have to score at least 35 points. After the bad passing showing Saturday, the game plan is likely to be conservative. We’ll have to rely heavily on the rush game. Brown didn’t play bad against OU and Fozzy was the Horns only playmaker.

They’ll both have to have huge games, which is possible against a mediocre Cowboy defense. David Ash and Case McCoy weren’t turnoff prone until Saturday. Against OSU they need to go back to their old ways and be careful with the ball. They don’t have to be fantastic; they just can’t commit turnovers.

Brandon Weeden is an explosive, dangerous passer. In all likelihood he’s going to decimate Texas’ secondary. But he’s also prone to throwing picks (six in the first three games). He can make all the throws Landry Jones can, but unlike Jones he also makes some incredibly stupid ones. Texas will have

Photo: university of texas at austin athletics

continueD FRoM BLooD Bath PaGe 11

to have several interceptions, one of which is returned for a TD to have a chance.

I wish I could list more weaknesses, but I can’t. Oklahoma State is a very good ball club that is not outside of national championship talk. Fans can’t expect a win but they can

expect Texas to make it a game. The only way that’s going to happen is by exploiting weaknesses similar to those above. If Texas can do this, the announcers won’t have to talk baseball in the second half.

Ryan BetoRi

Things are simply not looking good for the Philadelphia Eagles, ladies and gentlemen. The club that was anointed by many at the start of the season as the NFL’s “Dream Team” is now a paltry 1-4 after dropping games to teams like the 49ers and Bills. (I know those are teams with winning records, but the losing stigma associated with those teams is still a lot to overcome.) While I don’t really care all that much what this means for Michael Vick or Andy Reid, the fact of the matter is my boy Vince Young is in limbo as a back-up QB for a one-win football team! I still believe in you, Vince, even if you still haven’t quite gotten your shot in an Eagles uniform. F*** the haters.

Speaking of teams with ugly starting records, how about the Indianapolis Colts?

Never thought you’d hear that

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one, did you? Then again you probably never expected to see Peyton out of the season for so long. Now that Kerry Collins is looking more and more like a $4 million mistake and Curtis Painter’s sitting at the top spot of the two-deep, folks in Indy are now legitimately going to have to look ahead and prepare for life after Peyton Manning, because that time just might come sooner than you think.

The folks in Denver who have hoped and prayed that their cheers of “Te-Bow! Te-Bow!” would be answered finally got their wish on Sunday when head coach John Fox benched starter Kyle Orton, after a horrible first half, for the Florida legend. Even though the Broncos eventually lost 29-24, Tebow came out of the game with a respectable 4-10 passing for 79 yards and

Photo: Rangers third Baseman adrián Beltré by Red3biggs

tHe HiGHliGHt reel a touchdown. Not exactly electrifying, but at the very least a foundation for the miserable Broncos to build from.

Oh Al Davis, we hardly know ye. All right, maybe that’s not entirely true because in every moment of late Raider’s owner Al Davis’ 82-year life, he made it a point to make sure everyone around him knew exactly who he was. While many may remember “Crazy Al” exclusively as the eccentric owner of the Oakland Raiders, his place in football history spans far beyond that.

Back in the days of the AFL, Davis was the league’s commissioner who okayed the decision to merge with NFL and ultimately turn the league into what it is today. He was also a trailblazer in the field of diversity as well, hiring the NFL’s first black head coach as well as one of the

league’s first Hispanic assistant coaches. So if you enjoy things like modern football, diversity, and the Super Bowl, you have Al Davis to thank. Rest in peace, Crazy Al. The Rangers will probably win their first ever World Series this year. Bank it.

BRian BoGaRt

we Have oUrselves a lockoUt and it doesn’t look like tHat’s cHanGinG anytime soon baskeTball is a differenT kind of Game.

Although there’s a lot about the sport to indicate that it is indeed teamwork-based, few major sports in the country value individual players the way basketball does. Even if basketball rakes in a fraction of the overall revenue football generates, the general sparsity of elite basketball talent leaves a lot of money on the table for the guys at the very top.

On the other side of that coin, however, an NBA journeyman makes peanuts compared

consider the upward trend of player salaries that are typically overpaid, with a lot of the biggest contracts coming from players who have already peaked.

It’s apparent now that something has to give, and for an owner who’s losing money, that something is a more favorable revenue split from the players. But for many players who see their time in the NBA as their opportunity to make their life’s earning, it has understandably become a very sensitive issue.

wHen d-wade straiGHt Up yells at tHe nba commissioner, yoU know yoU Have a problem on yoUr Hands. to what an average player in the NFL makes, where the overall spread of wealth is much more evenly split. But that’s just how it works in basketball; ten guys are playing on the court, yet 90% of the people in the crowd just showed up to watch Kobe Bryant.

The funny thing about the NBA, though, is that it works the same with owners.

Sexy teams like the Lakers, the Heat, the Celtics, the Spurs, they get theirs. Between championships, multi-million dollar contracts, revenue, merchandise, and everything you can name under the sun, these teams are making money, and they’re making money for a reason.

Then there are teams like the Charlotte Bobcats, or the Toronto Raptors, or the Sacramento Kings, who famously stayed floating for at least one more season after the future of the team looked to be in serious peril only a few months ago. Not only are these teams lacking in cash flow, they are losing money, and for a team owner, that’s hardly a good thing. Especially when you

What makes this lockout particularly nasty in this case, though, is that both parties are at fault for the mess that the NBA currently find themselves in. While the players are overpaid in the first place, the owners are at fault themselves for making bad signings once they felt like they had to be competitive, even with their arenas turning in crowds the size of an audience for a fifth grade talent show.

So who’s going to bite the bullet? Well at the moment, it doesn’t look like the NBA owners are ready to blink anytime soon, and why should they? They’re the ones losing money and right now appear to be operating in a “you need us more than we need you” mentality, which is always a hard sentiment to argue against.

A surprising number of players, however,

are finding their own ways of sticking it to the man. Kobe Bryant in particular has been making headlines after he and an Italian basketball team reportedly entered negotiations for Kobe to play in Italy during the lockout. While the Italian side’s comment of the deal being “95% done” may be a mild exaggeration, it’s clear that some players are ready to show that they don’t intend to bat an eye. At least not yet.

There’s been a stir of positivity regarding lockouts lately since the NFL found a way to get the ball rolling even before their preseason, but when you examine the fact that the NBA has already canceled its pre-season and is already on the hinge of canceling some regular season games, it’s clear this lockout is a different animal. With the NFL, there was demand and reform. In the NBA right now there’s anger and confusion, and no one even seems to know where to start. Yes, intensive mediation sessions are currently in progress, and yes, meetings are currently being made, but when D-Wade straight up yells at the NBA commissioner, you know you have a problem on your hands.

So here’s to another lockout. If you thought the NFL was the league with the most internal strife after last summer’s little incident, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

BRian BoGaRt

UWeeklyAustin.com | october 12, 2011

13

Photo:Keith Allison

High-Octane October Playoff picture prettier than ever, especially for Rangers fans If you’re a baseball fan, the action this postseason has had you feeling like a thirteenyear-old boy watching Britney Spears’ “Hit me Baby One More Time” for the first time.

It’s been bliss. Three of the four series have been decided in game five, both No. 1 seeds have been ousted, there’s been high-profile pitching match-ups and long-ball blasting.

And if you’re a fan of the Texas Rangers, who are currently up 2-0 in the ALCS, the picture is even sweeter (thanks in large part to the 11th-inning heroics of Nelson Cruz). Below is a little check-in on everything that’s been happening. Kindly consider yourself updated.

ALCS (3) Detroit Tigers: If the Tigers weren’t matched up against the Rangers, it’d be awfully hard to root against them. Their success, along with that of the Lions, has given an abject city something to cheer for. And like the recent resurgence of Detroit’s car companies, the triumph of the Tigers has come as a surprise. Coming into the season they were viewed as a middle-of-the-

Rangers shocked the baseball world (Rangers fans included) when they rode Cliff Lee to their first World Series. Despite the setbacks, here the Rangers are, and the stars appear to be aligned. The two best teams in the playoffs have been eliminated (Lee’s Phillies being one of them). Rangers pretty much handled the Rays (3-1) and now they’ve managed to pull out two nail-biters to go up 2-0 against the Tigers. Adrian Beltre appears to have gotten his groove back and Nelson Cruz is nailing walk-off grand slams to win games. Both Scott Feldman (0.00 ERA) and Neftali Feliz (4 saves) are pitching brilliantly. Last season, for the first time in forever, it was good to be a Rangers fan; this year it’s even better.

NLCS (4) St. Louis Cardinals: It’s a miracle the Cardinals are appearing in this article. They simply shouldn’t be here.

In late August, the Cardinals were behind the Braves by 10.5 games for the Wild Card.

A combination of Cardinal persistence and Braves choking allowed the Cardinals

Before the season, if someone told me the Brewers would be playing for the pennant, I would’ve given a fitting response: slap them in the face and tell them to get their shit straight. pack young team with upside. But the Tigers managed to win the AL-Central (granted, it’s the weakest in baseball). And then in game five the Tigers won a feisty 3-2 victory over the Dark Lords of Sports, the Yankees, to head to the ALCS. But in terms of a World Series bid, prospects are currently looking as skinny as Justin Verlander. The Tigers have lost two close ones, and that’s not how an underdog makes it.

Well, Detroit, there’s always the Lions.

(2) Texas Rangers: This is the year. Nolan’s boys are the most dominant team left in the playoffs. The

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October 12, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

to squeak into the playoffs by one game.

Sneaking into the playoffs was one thing, but beating the Phillies, the unanimous World Series favorite and perhaps the most talented team of the last decade, was another matter entirely. And yet, it happened. In appropriate underdog fashion, the Cardinals barely managed to force a game five against the Phillies. But they did. And then, thanks to the three-hit pitching effort of Chris Carpenter, they beat the best team in baseball 1-0 in front of Phillies fans, for whom a mere pennant would feel like a failure. The Cardinals lost the first game of the NLCS, but thanks to the Herculean bat of Albert Pujols, the Cardinals

tied up the series by pulverizing the Brewers 12-3. It’s hard to pick against a smoking team that’s been beating the odds all year.

(2) Milwaukee Brewers: Before the season, if someone told me the Brewers would be playing for the pennant, I would’ve given a fitting response: slap them in the face and tell them to get their shit straight. The Brewers showed some promise last season, but they had a losing record. But something has caught fire in 2011—the arm of Yovani Gallardo and/or the bat of Ryan Braun, perhaps—and the Brewers have won 19 more games than last season to claim the NLCentral. The Brewers carried this momentum

into the playoffs and just managed to slip by the Diamondbacks with 3-2 in extra innings in the decisive game five. That energy stayed in tact for the Brewers 9-6 win over the Cardinals in game one of the NLCS. However, the momentum came to a halt when St. Louis battered the Brewers 12-3 in game two. These teams have a history, and we’ve already seen plenty of chin music. It’s bound to be a heated series, but unfortunately for Milwaukee fans it appears this is the end of the line.

World Series: Texas Rangers vs. St. Louis Cardinals World Series Champions: Texas Rangers

Ryan Betori

Photo: UFC

this week in face punchin’

Cruz is still king of the bantamweights Dominick Cruz is still at the top of the 135-pound mountain in mixed martial arts, as he defended his bantamweight title for the fourth time with a unanimous decision victory over Demetrious Johnson at “UFC Live 6” on Saturday in Washington, D.C. The pace set by the fighters was one of the fastest in UFC history, but it was Cruz who controlled most of the fight to retain his title. It was difficult for the champion to time the challenger Johnson in the early going, as he was unable to use his footwork against “Mighty Mouse” to pick his shots. But as the fight went on, Cruz became more comfortable in the striking game, and he was the closest to finishing the fight with a rear naked choke in the third round. Cruz’ next challenge could come from the winner of next month’s Urijah Faber-Brian Bowles fight. Both fighters have been campaigning for a rematch since both losing to Cruz during his title run.

The co-main event featured 6’11” heavyweight Stefan Struve vs. 5’11” Pat Barry, and the two fighters traded shots in the first round. It was Barry who landed leg kicks to control the pace early on, but when he went for a takedown in the second round, Struve secured a triangle choke. Barry picked Struve up and attempted to slam his way out of it, but Struve just locked the choke in tighter and finished the fight from there. Welterweight Anthony Johnson continued his climb back up the 170-pound rankings, as he finished Charlie Brenneman with a head kick knockout in the first round of their bout. Brenneman didn’t appear to be fully out from the head kick, but the fight was stopped nonetheless. In the night’s final main card bout, Matt Wiman defeated Mac Danzig in the return bout between the two after the first ended in controversy and was stopped early via submission. Wiman controlled the fight throughout and earned a 30-27 victory across

the board to take the unanimous decision.

End-of-night bonuses of $65,000 went to Anthony Johnson (knockout of the night), Stefan Struve (submission of the night), and Dominick Cruz and Demetrious Johnson (fight of the night).

The big men were on display at Bellator 52 in Louisiana on Saturday, as the event featured the quarterfinals of the organization’s Season Five heavyweight tournament. Mike Hayes, Blagoi Ivanov, Eric Prindle, and Ron Sparks all advanced to the semifinals with wins at the event. Hayes took out former tourney finalist Neil Grove in the headliner, as he earned a split decision after a very close fight. Former Sambo world champion Blagoi Ivanov continued his unbeaten streak, as he choked “The Ultimate Fighter 10” veteran and late replacement Zak Jensen unconscious in the second round of their bout. Former super heavyweight Eric Prindle survived a test of wills with TUF 10 veteran Abe Wagner, as the two traded huge shots and both seemed to be in control at multiple points.

Welterweight Anthony Johnson continued his climb back up the 170-pound rankings, as he finished Charlie Brenneman with

a head kick knockout in the first round of their bout.

And finally, Ron Sparks stayed unbeaten by knocking out Mark Holota in the first round

of their bout. The semifinals are now set, as Ivanov will face Hayes and Sparks will take on Prindle at Bellator 56 on October 29 in Kansas City. Bellator returns this weekend with the welterweight tournament semifinals at Bellator 53.

Cage Warriors 44 took place in England over the weekend, and UFC veteran Brian Foster earned a victory at the event over British fighter Jack Mason. Foster is still signed with the UFC, but he was allowed to take the one-off fight after being cleared to fight. Earlier this year he was removed from a UFC bout when doctors found a brain hemorrhage, but he returned at Cage Warriors and dominated. He’s now on his way back to the UFC. The event also featured a battle for the vacant Cage Warriors lightweight title, and Ivan Musardo took the belt with a fourth round submission over the previously undefeated Joseph Duffy. Duffy, who was part of “The Ultimate Fighter 9” but lost in the opening round, lost the bout after Musardo

caught a leg kick and took his back with the advantageous position.

Bryan Caraway of Team Mayhem became the first semifinalist on “The Ultimate Fighter 14,” as the featherweight submitted Team Bisping’s Marcus Brimage in the second round to move on in the tournament. Teams were also picked by the two coaches:

Team Mayhem: John Dodson, Johnny Bedford, Dustin Pague, and Roland Delorme (bantamweights), and Dennis Bermudez, Caraway, Dustin Neace, and Steven Siler (featherweights) Team Bisping: Luis Gaudinot, T.J. Dillashaw, John Albert, Josh Ferguson (bantamweights), and Diego Brandao, Akira Corassani, Brimage, and Stephan Bass (featherweights0

David McKinney

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 12, 2011

15

weird city tHeater company brinGs romero’s classic to tHe staGe halloWeen is jUsT aroUnd The corner, so why not celebrate with a George Romeroinfluenced, guts and gore-laced play? Weird City Theater Company, known for putting on plays such as Nosferatu and Sherlock Holmes, returns with their critically-acclaimed adaptation of George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead.

Director John F. Carroll, who has directed the play since 2008, keeps true to the Romero aesthetic: Behind moments of violence and death is a social commentary that gives the audience something to think about.

“As a nod to George Romero we are amping up the social commentary so much present in all of his zombie films,” says Carroll.

“We are arranging the playing space to be very intimate with the audience,” said Carroll.

“The suspense comes with the fact that there is nowhere for the audience to go. In a movie you can look away: You can close your eyes and wait for that tense moment to pass. In live theater the tension is right in front of you: There is a zombie right in front of you.”

Carroll’s Night of the Living Dead may not be a live Gwar performance, but the production does intend to drench the audience with moments of unsuspected shock and horror.

“Most of us at Weird City Theater have a great love for horror films and every Halloween we take great relish in outdoing ourselves onstage

carroll’s niGHt of tHe livinG dead may not be a live Gwar performance, bUt tHe prodUction does intend to drencH tHe aUdience witH moments of UnsUspected sHock and Horror.

Photo: Weird city theatre

Since its debut at the Hyde Park Theater Carroll’s adaptation of the classic has rose to prominence: Now being performed at Austin’s very own Dougherty Arts Center, Carroll is confident that the production will be as suspenseful and frightening as ever.

“About a year ago we decided to expand on the plot and add more original material to it: To expand some of the minor characters in the story as well as add a little more gore,” says Carroll.

Although it would seem less captivating to watch a live production of a zombie film, Carroll has a few tricks up his sleeve to make sure his audience is left squirming with fear.

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to celebrate the season,” says Carroll.

The performances will begin Thursday, October 13 and end Saturday, October 29.

All shows run from Thursday to Saturday and begin at 8 PM. There are student rates with a valid ID and Thursdays are pay what you wish night. Tickets can be purchased online at the Weird City Theater website. Halloween to some is an excuse to dress as scantily clad (yes, I am referring to you Mean Girl fanatics) as possible, but if blood, guts and gore is your only cure for fighting a Halloween fever, then this play has got you covered.

ELI WATSON

Sporting events make me nervous. I’m firmly of the “kill ’em with kindness” school of competition and my tactic in grade school PE class of offering someone a hug on the playing field never went over very well.

On the polar opposite end of the interpersonal-relationships, “works-well-withothers” spectrum is the Texas vs. Oklahoma Red River Rivalry. The presiding philosophy here is just straight-up “kill ’em.” As a UT alum, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit I never went to a single football game until after I graduated and starting dating my now-hubby. Imagine my shock and blood pressure level the first time I went into the arena of the Cotton Bowl, with its deafening roar, punctuated by OU gunshot and UT cannon fire.

Luckily, I’m here on assignment, and if I focus on my fashionpolicing duties, I can feel my heart rate starting to normalize.

I’m looking for the bathroom and accidentally wander into Sooner territory. Do the good folks of Norman have a civil moratorium on clothes that actually fit over one’s beer belly? It seems to be a matter of pride amongst the Okies to let their “muffin tops” enjoy sunlight. Exercising their fashion freedoms is their right, too, but quite frankly, it’s burning holes in my offended retinas.

I feel my pulse quickening. Where is the door?

White sneakers with black socks…I can’t catch my breath…leopard print bra straps cutting into a girl’s back fat…fashion panic setting in…mullets… mustaches…room..spinning… oh the horror, I see…see…the worst of all!

JORTS!…and the room goes black…

Ok, so I’m being a little dramatic, I didn’t actually pass out. But for real dude, whoever invented jorts, I would like to go back to circa 1985 and personally bitch-slap him or her.

For clarity’s sake, jorts are the unfortunate combination of Bermuda-length shorts and inferior quality denim, most often worn by someone who is committing several fashion crimes in conjunction with the jorts. You kinda can’t have one without the other.

The grounds of the Texas State Fair is prime viewing of the jorts and its many manifestations. Tracking the jort-wearer

is easy hunting here in its natural habitat, close to its primary food source: the deepfried ANYTHING. Seriously, they fry it all here: deep-fried PB&J, deep-fried latte, deep-fried car keys.

The mutations of jorts are abundant and endless. I feel like Darwin on Galapogos, frantically documenting the species as they parade by. So far I’ve counted mom and dad jorts, baby jorts, biker jorts, budonky-donk jorts, lesbi-jorts, snookie-jorts, dork-jorts, meth-addict jorts, and please-for-the-loveof-god-just-make-it-stop jorts I’ve got friends and family stationed in various spots throughout the stadium scouting for me. The MMS’s are pouring in, but I’ve yet to sight the Holy Grail of Jorts. It’s the AllInclusive Package of mullet, handlebar mustache, wifebeater tank top, Oakley shades with croakie, black “Beavis and Butthead” sneakers and white tube socks.

I will find him. Oh yes, he will be mine.

Alright, enough with the bad for right now, its just too easy here, “Like shootin’ fish in a barrel” as Grampy used to say. I’ve encountered lots of good clothes here, too.

Everyone knows the fail-safe combo of cute cowboy boots with a UT mini-dress from the Co-op, and I’ve seen some really clever versions. Somebody in sports marketing got wise a few years back and started manufacturing not-so-obvious team-themed clothing in good fabrics and cute cuts. Yay! You don’t have to look like you’re on the dorky pep squad when you go to the game!

I, for one, am sporting a ¾ raglan sleeve T (think baseball shirt) with the vintage, cartoon-y Longhorn logo. It’s my favorite from childhood, my daddy bought this same style shirt for me when I was just a kid.

Obviously, this year was not our year on the field, but we smoked OU in the fashion department. And if Coach Mack Brown happens to reads my little column here, I think he will be pleased to know that my predictions for Fall 2012 are already in: burnt orange will be the new red, baby!

Juliana Azar

1 ST A n

nual

em Photoscavenger hunt & Mayh Sunday Oct. 23 rd

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UWeeklyAustin.com | October 12, 2011

17

battle of tHe 99¢ drive-thrU taco combo A FEW ISSuES AgO we ran a story about bro-food, christening the 99-cent taco deal at fast-food joints the ultimate example of the craft. Well, now we’re asking what you think about that heart-stopping combination. How does UT really feel about drive-thru tacos: do they deserve to be celebrated, or are they only for the saddest lows in our lives?

LUKE WINKIE

woUld yoU ever take someone yoU were trying to imPress oUt for 99-cent tacos?

• I think they’d really appreciate my honesty. Like, “This is what I’m about, I’m about a bag of 20 tacos for 10 dollars.”

• I’d never see that person ever again.

• If that doesn’t impress the ladies, I don’t know what will.

• You have to REALLY know whoever you’re eating those tacos with well before you can do something like that.

• I think we’d bond through traumatic experiences like that.

• I don’t think vomit really fosters bonding.

wHat do yoU tHink tHey’re are actUally made of?

• It probably has the same ingredients as Keystone Light.

• Pain and suffering.

• 50% fist-bumps, and 50% bro-taps.

• I bet those tacos are one of the main causes of global warming.

• I have a feeling they might be directly imported from Narnia.

• I don’t know, but I bet you could cite 99-cent tacos as grounds for divorce.

“tHose tacos probably Have tHe same ingredient s as ke ystone light ”

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• Ready for 10 more.

• Dead/Dying. (I think I got this answer about 500 times) • I think I’d have an existential breakdown.

• Clogged, but satisfied.

• Extremely proud of my choice.

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wHat woUld yoU rather sPend 99 cents on?

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• I’m pretty sure I’d rather eat my own poop at that point… oh wait my poop would be my digested Jack in the Box tacos!

Nooo! This is the worst scenario ever!

• THREE tacos!

• Self-respect.

• I can’t think of anything I’d rather spend 99 cents on.

• I’d just save up for Torchy’s.

• I once bought a pair of tacos with 20 nickels. I wish I was making that up.

• The love and laughter of a lifetime not consuming horrible food just because the price is low.

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october 12, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Photo: tanya Brassie

the

with JoHn Jarzemsky apple co-foUnder steve jobs makes otHer people look bad even in deatH After a years-long battle with pancreatic cancer, former CEO and co-founder of Apple Steve Jobs died on October 5th, at the age of 56. After traditional news outlets broke the story of his death, Twitter and Facebook feeds all over the world exploded with tributes to the man who changed the face of technology forever, as well as plenty of snarky jokes about his passing. Perhaps the greatest silver lining to come out of the event came when Margie Phelps of the always-pleasant Westboro Baptist Church used an iPhone to publicly tweet that the cathedral of hatred planned to picket Jobs’ funeral. Using her implement of Satan, Phelps told the entire world that Steve Jobs “had a huge platform: gave God no glory.”

Thanks Margie. Seeing that italic “via Twitter for iPhone” at the bottom of your screed surely gave Steve the most glorious of last laughs.

fox and voice cast of “tHe simpsons” pUt aside differences to embrace mUtUal love of mediocrity Fans of quality television found themselves giddy with anticipation when word leaked early last week that “The Simpsons” might finally be cancelled after over ten years of sub-par writing, shameless commercial tie-ins, and a general eschewing of every tenant that made the show one of the best things to come out of television.

Sources reported that the show’s top billed voice talents were trying to renegotiate their contracts after Fox tried to reduce their salaries by 45%. The counter-offer of a 30% cut in addition to points on the back end had the network ready to throw in the towel, but much to the chagrin of discerning viewers everywhere, the two parties involved have agreed to kiss and make up, confirming that Ol’ Yeller will be wandering around on his creaky bones for at least two more seasons before he gets dragged out behind the shed.

president obama keeps priorities straiGHt, invites ’85 bears to white hoUse

(and rabid Bears fan) Barack Obama finally set things right by inviting the ’85 champs to Washington so they could finally receive the honors they so richly deserve. Reports that “Refrigerator” Perry made President Obama do the Superbowl Shuffle have neither been confirmed nor denied.

When the 1985 Chicago Bears demolished John JaRzeMSky the New England Patriots they thought, as most championship football teams do, that they would soon be headed to the White House to be honored by twitter and President Reagan. Unfortunately facebook feeds all (for so many involved), Reagan over tHe world happened to be busy. In exPloded with tribUtes the greatest miscarriage to tHe man wHo of justice in Reagan’s cHanGed tHe face of presidency, Ronnie decided tecHnoloGy forever, that publicly addressing the as well as plenty of grieving family member of a snarky Jokes aboUt bunch of teachers who died His passinG. in the Challenger space shuttle explosion was more important than patting some overpaid athletes on the back. Thankfully, our current President UWeeklyAustin.com | october 5, 2011

19

Photo: Lettuce Turnip

hell on earth troUble pUppet tHeater takes Us into a post-apocalyptic present witH tHeir new prodUction The apocalypse has been on our minds a lot lately. The current obsession with 2012, Rick Perry’s presidential run, and the dire environmental predictions seem to haunt our dreams and reality. These fantasies give us a hope of a renewal, a starting over. No such fantasy does this better than Riddley Walker.

Trouble Puppet’s Riddley Walker is a staged version of the celebrated novel of the same name. The story takes place 2,000 years after a nuclear holocaust in which the main character, Riddley Walker, must make his way though a world in which technology is confused with religion and power elites attempt to propagate certain belief systems, all while man attempts to create meaning out of the mess. Sound familiar?

Moreover, the story seems to be about something larger altogether, transcending the usual limitations of post-apocalyptic literature.

“In the grandest terms, it’s about the way human society works, how history is created, used, and understood (or misunderstood),” said Artistic Director Connor Hopkins.

Living in our own post-economic meltdown age, where we are forced to investigate all that that has been taken on assumption, the themes of the play seem to echo the strange times that we are currently residing in.

“While the events and characters are of course particular to Riddley’s time and place, they are echoes of a sort of archetypal struggle that plays out again and again throughout human history,” said Hopkins: “the tension between progress and stability, or between intuition and knowledge.”

While this subject matter might initially seem more suited for the big screen, the narrative abilities of puppetry might be just the thing for such an improbable tale.

“Puppets allow a whole world to exist in an incredibly economical space. These worlds exist by their own rules, in a parallel time that needn’t find its departure point in ours,” said studio art sophomore and shadow puppeteer Katie Pipkin. “They allow stories of great scale and depth to be told, and told well, without expensive sets, realistic scenery, naturalistic lighting, and all of the other thousand tiny details often present in production.”

Bringing these heavy themes to life is no easy task.

Trouble Puppet uses tabletop puppets in which three people are navigating one puppet, animating it in so many ways that other forms just can’t. Providing even more layers is the shadow puppet work.

“These shadow segments become allegorical folktales that are embedded into the lives of the characters; they give deeper insight into the psyche of the story,” said Pipkin. “I hope to help the audience to see beyond what a character says or does and

into what they think, believe, and pass on.”

Nevertheless, amidst a culture of sensory overload, Hopkins thinks that there is still a yearning for a certain kind of intimacy: the intimacy of watching actual humans bring something other than robots to life.

“I think people enjoy being wowed by 3D movies, CGI, and all the rest,” said Hopkins.

“They also enjoy being wowed by watching a group of people stand right in front of them and make something come to life.”

For those who have never attended a puppet show, a sense of astonishment and surprise is usually in the works, the same sort of astonishment and wonder that washes over one during a magic show “It’s like watching a magic trick where the magician shows you how the trick is done, with the effect of making the reality of it more impressive than the illusion was,” said Hopkins

“it’s like watcHinG a maGic trick wHere tHe maGician shows yoU how the trick is done, witH tHe effect of makinG tHe reality of it more impressive tHan tHe illUsion was.”

WiLLiaM M. BaSS Riddley Walker runs through October 16 at the Salvage Vanguard theatre. More information regarding tickets and show times can be found at www.troublepuppet.com.

the little longhorn that coUld Photo: eli Watson

Ginny’s tends to aUstin’s soUl witH cHicken sHit binGo and a Honky-tonk spirit.

iT is noT recommended by GooGle, you probably won’t see many people checking in on Four Square, and people come to watch chickens take bowel movements. This is a dive called Ginny’s Little Longhorn Saloon.

The place is indeed little. Looking like a snakehandling church from the outside, Ginny’s doesn’t aim to impress anyone. There are no flat-screens, no extensive beer menus, and definitely no liquor. just beer, wine, and setups.

In an age where bars can be filled with so many distractions, Ginny’s homespun recipe of Texas beer and country music is quite nourishing.

Moreover, the fact that there is nothing

really special about it makes it so very special.

“I don’t know what makes it so special, but I do know I have good country music and the Chicken Shit Bingo,” said owner Ginny Kalmvach.

A redneck take on everyone’s grandma’s favorite game, Chicken Shit Bingo operates pretty much how you might think: people wait for chickens to take bowel movements on the squares. Truly an Austin institution, Ginny’s Chicken Shit Bingo draws people from the four corners of the globe.

“We’ve had people come from Australia, Asia, and Europe just for the bingo and to hear Dale Watson,” said Kalmvach.

Every Sunday, while the chickens do their

“i don’t know wHat makes it so special, bUt i do know i Have Good coUntry mUsic and the chicken shit bingo.”

thing, the legendary Watson draws from his extensive songbook of over a hundred originals and some covers. Existing far outside the realm of radio country, Watson plays some of the best oldschool honky-tonk, the kind you might find in a roadhouse with chicken wire in front of the stage.

Unlike the recent trends towards bars surrounding every inch of your field of vision with televisions, Ginny’s surrounds you with its strange history. Pictures of old regulars, weirdos, and people you just won’t see around campus litter the walls. Likewise, the musical

legacy of this place is literally in the tables as pictures of Ginny’s honkytonk regulars provide ample reading material while you’re lifting that Lone Star. And if you hang around the place long enough, you might just become part of the history itself.

“We try and keep it a community-oriented place; a place that feels like a second home,” said Kalmvach. “Our regulars and patrons are what have kept this place going for over forty years.”

WiLLiaM M. BaSS

UWeeklyAustin.com | october 12, 2011

21

ARRYN ZECH

Netflix and Qwikster. Again.

Remember that whole Netflix breaking off into two different companies, one for streaming movies and shows and the other for receiving DVDs? Well, Netflix’s big division pissed off enough people that they’ve been peer-pressured into remaining one company.

For those of you subscribed to Netflix, you received an email last Monday from “The Netflix Team” apologizing for all of the waffling the company has done.

“It is clear that for many of our members two websites would make things more difficult, so we are going to keep Netflix as one place… This means no change: one website, one account, one password…in other words, no Qwikster.”

For those of you wondering about what this will do for the video games portion of the company, there’s no word yet.

Guess we’ll still have to settle for GameFly.

Alan Wake 2 For those of you who played the original Alan Wake and know how much of a baller game it is, prepare yourselves for a sequel. Maybe.

Developer Remedy confirmed with Joystiq.com that it was working on another Alan Wake project, though this next Wake installment wouldn’t be “Alan Wake 2.” But they also stated that it wouldn’t be a DLC (downloadable content) for the first.

So what does it all mean? Oskari Häkkinen, head of franchise development for the Finnish developer, said that “It’s something that’ll definitely give more to the Wake fans out there, but just as importantly, this installment will also give an opportunity for players who aren’t familiar with the franchise to finally jump on board.”

The platform for the new game hasn’t been released yet, but here’s hoping it’s on 360 or PS3.

Battlefield 3 Beta: Out and Gone, but Freaking Awesome!

Battlefield 3’s open beta was recently released for a limited time on 360, PS3, and PC. Reviews for the beta have been flying all over the internet since before the beta was even released, but I thought I’d get a more

22

October 12, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

close-up look of the first-person shooter MMO. So, I did what every gamer-girl does and batted my eyes at the nearest nerd friend and mooched off of his console. (And by that I mean his 360, you perverts…)

After playing and watching the game being played I’ve come to this conclusion: Battlefield 3 Beta is awesome. Though the game is extremely

the graphics would range from running completely underneath a map to getting stuck in a glitch. You’d be able to shoot people, but unless you killed yourself, you wouldn’t be able to move from that area.

Funny graphics glitches would also occur.

When lying down, some characters would appear Stretch Armstrong-like and be

After playing and watching the game being played I’ve come to this conclusion: Battlefield 3 Beta is awesome. Though the game is extremely glitchy, it still makes you come back for more. glitchy, it still makes you come back for more.

Some of the major issues I saw with the game were server and graphic. The EA online server would continuously kick players off and you’d have to restart your Xbox in order to reconnect, with that solution only working about 80% of the time. Issues with

sprawled across the ground. Other times, if the person next to you were looking at the main screen their character would take the position of someone trying to appear as if they were an airplane. This caught a lot of attention of gamers and resulted in hilarious Youtube videos of the game’s various glitches.

Oddly enough, the graphics are also what sets this game apart from other war-time FPS’s. The PC version of the game ranks the highest of the 3 platforms, creating an almost photo-realistic look to the game. The game uses a graphics engine called Frostbite 2. This engine made the many super cool things that appeared in the game possible. When walking from a dark area to light, your character’s eyes would adjust. With the many different realism features in the game, you’d have to be more tactical in your approach. More hide-andseek, less Rambo-style free-for-all.

Though the game has its many issues, we still came back to play it. We’d get kicked from the server, but still spend at least 10 minutes trying to get back on. You know if a gamer spends that much time trying to play a game, it’s gotta be worth it.

Over all, Battlefield 3, after it’s test drive in beta, is going to be wicked sweet when it comes out on October 25th.

Arryn Zech

Photos: Luke Winkie

It was great seeing a bunch of people who’ve ostensibly waited a long time to bust out their slogans. Even if milquetoast-man is staring at his phone.

Someone who ostensibly has a fair amount of money pleading to pay more tax. That, my friends, is patriotism.

The best part of this picture is the guy in the white button down and sunglasses on the right. Caught in a textbook state of awkward, white guy, public half-dancing.

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October 12, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Two youths attracted to the City Hall through the fanfare. They were sweet, if uninformed, kids. I mean, just look at that peace sign.

The best part of the protest is always the cars beeping/crowd woo-ing combo.

Internet memes crossing over into real-life, highly-serious protesting is like a snake eating its own metaphysical tail.

A

LL

Barstars Photos: Shannon Grant

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Mobley Lighting up the music One can always expect a good time when they attend a Mobley show. Vocalist Anthony Watkins II encourages dancing to their addictive tunes and even joins the crowd off-stage while drummer Sergio Trejos and bassist Tim Shelburne provide the beat. This may sound like any other electro-rock band out there, but what other bands include their own inhouse visuals and a light show? That’s what sets Mobley apart. Watkins, Trejos and Shelburne sat down with UWeekly to discuss how they met and why they decided to incorporate all the show goodies.

Where are you all from originally?

Sergio Trejos: I’m from Columbia.

Tim Shelburne: Originally Kentucky and we moved to North Carolina. That’s where I met (Anthony).

What drew you to Austin?

Anthony Watkins: I did an internship with a now-defunct record label here, I Eat Records, in summer 2007 just to come scout out the city. It seemed like a good place to come and try to make things happen. That was probably the biggest motivation in mind. Then we came back during South by Southwest in 2008 to take another look, and that’s when we decided to move here.

TS: There were a lot of factors going in to it. We basically made a list at the end of college of all the music scenes that would work, that seemed like we might fit in, and Austin seemed hip. It seemed on the uptick, and it was one of the cheaper of all of them.

AW: That was a big one.

TS: Yeah, that was pretty significant.

AW: Austin’s a lot cheaper than LA or New York.

TS: Because let’s be real, musicians aren’t really rollin’ in it.

And what about you, Sergio?

ST: I just happened to be here and checked Craigslist. I was first in Louisiana.

I was studying music there. I ended up here and shortly after that, I met these guys, like, six months after I actually moved here. That’s when I auditioned.

What drew y’all two together?

AW: I put out an ad, basically.

TS: It was a little paper tab on the wall in

Photo:Daniela Riojas

the music building. My girlfriend saw it and thought it was the band Mogwai. She was like “Oh, you should try to get in that band because I’ve heard of them,” and it wasn’t Mogwai. It was Mobley.

AW: Even better.

TS: So I went and auditioned. We sat down and we played and then talked about Grand Theft Auto for a little bit.

AW: And flirted with my girlfriend.

TS: That didn’t really happen.

AW: That actually did happen. No, he said something. It was friendly to my girlfriend and I pretended that I was offended and scared him.

TS: I was so nervous.

You obviously got over it. You’re still around.

TS: Either I did or he did. One of the two.

AW: Well we broke up so it doesn’t matter.

Pretty random.

TS: There’s no, like, special story like we met on the airplane on the way to Zimbabwe.

ST: Have your bass out.

TS: “You have your guitar? I have my bass.

Let’s go.” It’s great.

You hear stories about bands like, “Oh, we were just friends and we figured out we could play in a band together.”

You guys actually met through ads.

TS: That’s kind of the Internet world now.

You meet on Craigslist or Facebook. The magic is gone.

You mentioned that they found you on Craigslist. What about that ad drew you to them?

ST: It’s hard to remember. It was just,

“Hey, Mobley’s looking for a drummer,” and it had a link. So I actually went to a show they had here in Austin and checked them out. I really liked them.

AW: I don’t think I even met you at that show. I think Tim met you.

ST: No, I talked to Tim. They were obviously really busy. I just approached Tim and asked him, “So, hey, you’re looking for a drummer? I’m a drummer.” He was like, “Cool, just come and audition,” and after the audition, they picked me.

AW: Eventually.

ST: Eventually. I had to make five tries.

When you write a song, do you think about how the lighting and videos are going to go with it?

TS: I’d say the music is always first.

AW: Yeah, there’s been a couple of times when I’ve been writing and thought, “Oh, it’ll be cool if the video did this,” but it’s not afterthought. To us, that’s just kind of a sweetener. The most important thing is always the songs.

TS: It’s one performance aspect that helps express the song to the full extent.

The lights aren’t the performance, but they help to convey the way we see it.

You guys have a unique show. It’s not just the music. It’s lights and a performance thing. How did that idea come about?

AW: Well, I think the original idea was just to do videos. I was pretty strongly in favor of doing some videos and so we started talking about that. Then Tim is pretty strongly in favor of doing lights and working that into it. When we moved here from North Carolina in 2008, we spent probably the first eight months here working on that, working on practicing and getting tight and ready to play shows. Then we started playing shows and realized we weren’t ready, so we played a bunch more shows. Then about a year after that, we were probably ready to start playing shows.

Tell me about the album Let Slip. How long did it take to put it together? What was the mindset going into this one?

AW: I guess technically it probably took about a year, but that wasn’t really a year of sustained work. In terms of working on it as what it was, it probably took about three and a half months to four months, maybe? Honestly, the biggest mindset was that we needed a new CD. We had songs that we were playing and people were into them. The shows always seem to go better when people are able to see the show, get into a song, take it home, really learn it and love it and then come back and know it. There were a bunch of songs that people like at the shows that they didn’t have at home to really get into, so we wanted to give them a way to do that. That was really the biggest thing behind it. It’s actually part of a larger series. It’s part one in what will probably be a trilogy of little albums. The next one should be out in February, hopefully.

What kind of experience do you have with the lighting and stuff? Were you kind of learning as you went?

AW: Basically. That’s sort of everything.

I studied film in college, but nobody has any lighting background.

SARAH VASQUEZ

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 12, 2011

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WEDnESDAY

ThE RAPTuRE @ Lazona Rosa, 612 W 4th

Let’s all pretend like its 2004. Good ol’ uncle George is still clearing brush down in Crawford while he’s supposed to be holding down the White House, and The Rapture are making some of the catchiest dance punk this side of LCD Soundsystem.

Thankfully, The Rapture can still help us feel like we’re still living in the early aughts as they have revived their cowbells, assshaking kick drums, and disco baselines to help us forget our 2011 woes.

uTOPiA FEST @ Lemon Road, utopia, tX

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

► aLSo WoRthy

► aLSo WoRthy

► aLSo WoRthy

Tapes ’n Tapes

Shaun of the Dead: Quote-Along

’80s Dance Party

Geeks Who Drink

O.A.R

Footloose

The Megaphone Show

Bruce James Trio

Weight (Dubstep)

Free improv Comedy

Off!

Phoenix Down

Dead Meadow

Mobley

Fungi Girls

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside Highball, 1120 S Lamar The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood ColTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Red 7, 611 E 7th

will bass 28

ThE MiChAEL JACKSOn SinG-ALOnG

FRiDAY

Didn’t get a chance to squeeze in between the fences at ACL? Looking for a much quieter scene where old people with lawn chairs won’t harsh your buzz? Then Utopia Fest is your jam. The fest has described itself as “two days of amazing music, friendly people, a stunning hill-country setting, inspiring art, gorgeous campgrounds and plenty of space. This is the ‘anti-big-festival festival’ and we want it to be your festival for years to come.”

Tickets: lazonarosa.frontgatetickets.com/

The top events & shows in Austin this week

ThuRSDAY

october 12, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

@ alamo Ritz, 320 e 6th

While the circus surrounding Michael Jackson’s death still rages on years after the fact, there is no shortage of ways to pay homage to that strange King of Pop. Study up on your lyrics, perfect that moonwalk, and try not to grab your crotch too hard, then head down to the Michael Jackson Sing-Along at the Alamo. Even if you’re not a super fan, lyrics to songs will be displayed so that you can pretend like you know every word.

Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Stubb’s, 601 Red River Continental Club, 1315 S Congress Red 7, 611 E 7th Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Tickets: ocp.ticketbud.com/utopiafest

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Barbarella, 615 Red River Plush, 617 Red River

Stubb’s, 601 Red River Beerland, 711 Red River

SATuRDAY

SunDAY

MOnDAY

WAShED OuT @Mohawk, 912 Red River

The chill wave is not receding anytime soon, especially with the latest stellar album from Washed Out. Local muse Sleep Over rides the wave on an estrogen surfboard.

Tickets: mohawk.frontgatetickets.com/

► aLSo WoRthy

ROOFTOP SESSiOnS AT LAnAi @ Lanai Rooftop Lounge, 422 S congress

According to chiropractors and urologists, standing around at shows with your arms crossed isn’t healthy for your genitals or back muscles.

Medical professionals urge music lovers to move to the rhythm of the music instead of merely passively listening in order to prevent injury.

Showcasing the best in electronic dance music, Rooftop Sessions has cobbled together some of the best DJs in town to get your body moving.

There is no cover, which is even more of a reason to move your feet all funny.

ST 37 @ nD, 501 e 5th

No one does psych rock better than ST 37, hands down. These local ancients have been at it since The Black Angels where in Pull-Ups. ST 37 do some of the nastiest and spaciest rock and roll this side of Pink Floyd on Mars. The night also finds local drone lord Lee Dockery on the upright bass, and Smokey Emory doing his thing on haunted electronics.

Tickets: at the door

Charlie hodge Live Show

Cap City Comedy Club, 8120 Research Blvd

Dale Watson

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Monday night Mash

ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport

TuESDAY

ThE WAR On DRuGS @ emo’s, 603 Red River

► aLSo WoRthy

► aLSo WoRthy

Mike Flanigin Trio

Benefit for Bastrop

OBn iiis

Follow That Bird

Big D and the Kids

TV at the Alamo: Breaking Bad

Bombasta

Free improv Comedy

Electric Six

CinESunDAYS

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress Beerland, 711 Red River Emo’s, 603 Red River

Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th

Mix two teaspoons of shoegaze, one cup of Bruce Springsteen, a pinch of Bob Dylan, and you have The War on Drugs’ sound.

Tickets: www.ticketweb.com

Mohawk, 912 Red River Alamo Lamar, 1120 S Lamar

ColdeTowne Theater, 4803 Airport 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

► aLSo WoRthy

Mike and the Moonpies Mohawk, 912 Red River

The Black Dahlia Murder Red 7, 611 E 7th

UWeeklyAustin.com | october 12, 2011

29

► PLuckeRS

► touche

2222 rio Grande

417 e 6th

mother plucker mugs

$1 schnapps

► SaPPhiRe

► cain anD aBeL’S

411 e 6th

2313 rio Grande

$2 you holla!

$8 32 oz. Texas Teas from 7 pm-close

► FueL

► MooSeknuckLe PuB

607 Trinity

406 e 6th

$1 Wells, $2 domestics, $3 any bombs

$2 anything

► DaRWin’S PuB

► tinieSt BaR in teXaS

223 e 6th

817 W 5th

$2 Wells/domestics 12-9 pm

$1 bud light and bud

► MotheR eGan’S

► ShakeSPeaRe’S PuB

715 W 6th

317 e 6th

$3 Guinness

$4 bombs

► MaLaia

► MooSeknuckLe PuB

300 e 6th

(406 e 6th)

$2 domestic beers, $2 Wells til 11 pm

$2 Wells/domestics til 11 pm

► aGave

► the LocaL

the dogwood as many of Us knoW, 6th Street is something of a double-edged sword. On the one end is east 6th, famously referred to by many as “Dirty Sixth,” a region that’s plenty rife with fake IDs, aggressive doormen, and scandalous misadventures. On the other side of that coin, however, is west 6th, or as some may call it “upper west 6th” (and by some I mean me), a more upscale downtown experience with fewer crowds and nicer bars at a slightly higher cost.

At the apex of the west 6th experience is “The Dogwood,” a spacious bar with a swanky outdoor patio and sweet tea vodka on tap. With a relaxed atmosphere and a crowd of young professionals looking to mingle, The Dogwood is the perfect place to go when you’re ready to graduate from Dirty Sixth.

BRian BoGaRt

► Rain on 4th

607 Trinity

2610 Guadalupe

217 W 4th

$0.50 wells, $2 any beers, $3 mixed shots, $3 bombs

$2 Tx mex beers

$1.50 lite beers, $2.50 Wells

► PuRe uLtRa LounGe

► GinGeR Man

► thiRD BaSe

419 e 6th

301 lavaca

1717 W 6th

$0.25 wells all night

logo pint night

$2 lonestar/fireman/shiner

► SPiLL

► BLinD PiG

► MotheR eGan’S

212 e 6th

317 e 6th

715 W 6th

$1 wells/miller high life

$2.50 Wells/domestics

pint specials during pub Trivia

307B West 5th Street www.besocantina.com

BY LANE)

(NEXT TO KER 2610 GUADALUPE

NFL TICKET E

WE’VE GOT TH

SEVERAL GAMES WITH SOUND

”

HS T U R T S INTLES

“PO

NIGHT Y A D S E Y TU IA EVER

TRIV

Want to win tickets?

For a chance to win tickets to the show, mention UWeekly on the event page at:

alib-atx

http://tinyurl.com/t

Winners announced October 20th on the UWeekly Facebook Page!

S A T U R D A Y, O C T O B E R 15 th MOVE-IN SPECIAL

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