October 19, 2011

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photo: gypsy picnic

the Independent voICe oF ut austIn

oCt 19, 2011

www.uweeklyaustIn.Com

vol. 3 Issue 9

Photo: eli wattson

oCtoBer 19, 2011

005

weird science

016

look trendy on dates

017

are you sending

020

award-winning movie Strings

what to know before you sign up for a trial study

she’ll never know are cheap

mixed signals?

comes to austin

Photo: gypsy Picnic

the food festival returns for a seCond year with food, fun, and musiC

the gypsy pICnIC is a delightful food festival that people of all ages—and even your dog— can enjoy. The Gypsy Picnic, which features over 38 food trailers, will have Austin favorites including Torchy’s Tacos, Chi’Lantro BBQ and Gourdough’s (Big. Fat. Donuts.). Attendees will be able to enjoy tasty treats while listening to the wonderful sounds of Dale Watson, Alabama Shakes and Delta Spirits.

Last year’s Gypsy Picnic resulted in success: An estimated 10,000 people lined up for the various food trailers available.

The festival was so well-received that some vendors even ran out of food. Unfortunately, some samplers ran out of time: Lines were

long last year, and at times some people had to wait for over an hour to get their order.

This year’s Gypsy Picnic, which will be held at

Side Kings, Firefly Pies, Hog Wild BBQ and Rockin’ Rolls to take care of the food truck traffic jam that became a large problem last year.

for three dollarS at each trailer, you can get a little bit of everything, and each purchaSe benefitS the SuStainable food center Auditorium Shores on Saturday Oct. 22 from 11 AM to 8 PM, hopes to take care of that problem.

The festival has added food trailers from East

The festival is also bringing back its cookoff competition. Foods will be judged based on appearance, aroma and flavor. Judges will

include Austin Chronicle’s Mick Vann, Texas Monthly’s Courtney Bond and Huffington Post’s Stephanie Keller. Last year Torchy’s Tacos, Bananarchy and The Mighty Cone received the honor of being the Best of the Fest, but this year many other food trailers will try to take the title.

For three dollars at each trailer, you can get a little bit of everything, and each purchase benefits the Sustainable Food Center, a local non-profit that cultivates and improves access to nutritious, affordable food.

The Gypsy Picnic is keeping Austin tasty, so come on down to Auditorium Shores and fill your stomach up with an array of delectable goods.

eli watson

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Want to win tickets? more and more people these days are strapped for cash, and desperate times call for desperate measures. Perhaps that’s why a growing number of college students are lending their bodies over to science for research, and for cash. alking around campus, you’ve probably seen signs and advertisements for fast cash in exchange for participating in research studies. The lure of easy money is quite tempting. So if you’ve ever considered doing it, you’re not alone.

Virginia Benavidez, a UT graduate, first had the idea to participate in research studies while still in high school, but didn’t participate in any studies until she had some time between semesters. Having participated in many studies during and around her college years, it’s safe to assume that she’s been around the block, so to speak.

“I did only one or two when I was in college.

I can’t really remember. Maybe it’s one of the side effects,” said Benavidez. “They’ve all been pretty basic. I did do a birth control one, and I had my wisdom teeth removed.”

When asked for more details as to the companies she worked for, she noted that the popular contract research organization PPD was one of her employers. The other was Cedra, who no longer has offices in Austin. But surprisingly, UT also employs students and qualifying candidates to lend over their anatomy for research and, in some cases, even requires it.

Race Pendleton, an ACC student who has also participated in scientific studies, describes PPD as a “company that tests out pharmaceutical drugs in a regulated way and compensates for it.”

money talkS It seems that many of the participants of these studies don’t do it purely for the love of science and report cash as a huge contributing factor in their decision making.

“I couldn’t find a job, and this was a lot less time consuming,” said Pendleton.

“The first time I considered doing it was when I was short on cash,” said RTF freshman Elena Ioudina, who recently participated in an MRI study. “I couldn’t get a real job. This pays more than minimum wage.” For her, the fact that the studies are scheduled on her own schedule also added incentive her decision.

The pay on these studies can range anywhere from a $12 an hour to over $4,000 a study. It all just depends how much of yourself you’re willing to give to researchers.

the Scientific proceSS Each person wishing to participate in a study must first pass through sometimes monotonous screenings. While private companies such as PPD have their own screening process, institutions such as UT have a different way of sussing through the candidates. Many times, when pre-screening is done through the university, the university will then hand over your information to private companies.

“Researchers will email you through the university,” said Ioudina.

Since schools like UT survive on grants and money awarded through their research, she’s

not sure if testing on campus or with private companies is better or worse. Ioudina also had to participate in five research studies as part of her psychology class.

“It’s required for class,” said Ioudina. “It’s very involuntary in a way.”

While it’s fairly easy to contact an organization and be screened, it’s not always easy to be picked for a case study.

“It’s pretty cutthroat. Once you get in, you don’t give up your spot. There are people who do this as a living,” said Benavidez.

When describing the demographic of people who frequent these outpatient research facilities, she said there is a definite split between two different groups of people.

She added that while a decent amount were college kids, the rest were borderline homeless. These are people who “didn’t want to or couldn’t get a full time job,” said Benavidez. “There are a lot of strange characters who decide that this is how they were going to make their income.”

Although you’re supposed to only participate in one study a month in order to give the body a cleansing period, there are many people who get around that by moving between different research facilities in order to increase their pay.

human lab ratS? When asked to explain the studies in further detail, Benavidez underlined the fact that many of Continued on Page 6

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the studies don’t necessarily test new, crazy, experimental drug ingredients, but rather test for regulatory purposes or to get generic brands approved by the FDA. This is a sentiment that Pendleton echoed when asked about his experiences as a contract research subject. He explained that a lot of times they are testing out drugs from new facilities or from different manufacturers.

“I wasn’t testing the drug, but more so the new way the drugs are made,” said Pendleton.

But not all experiments are created equal and some can be downright horrific. Benavidez describes one study of Alzheimer pills that, in order to be tested properly, researchers had

erasing drugs or vomiting.

“Some people go and test out vodka or a pain pill,” said Pendleton.

For Ioudina, her first study was quite benign. She tested out touch maps, which are much like braille pads. “I don’t feel like I sacrificed anything,” said Ioudina.

Sign me up If paid scientific research sounds up your alley, it’s important to remember that for the higherpaying studies, you’re required to stay at the research facilities for the duration of the study.

“They have outpatient visits,” said Benavidez, but typically the facilities are very strict about things like lights out and walking the grounds.

“You never know exactly what the experiment is because it could influence the data,” said Ioudina.

You also run the risk of being dropped from the study after being approved through screening since they allow for an overflow of testing.

Green matter When asked if companies such as PPD take advantage of cash-strapped college kids, the reports were mixed.

“I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily taking advantage,” said Benavidez, who then explained that companies like PPD simply know their market.

To her, college kids have a certain amount of free time and commitment. Companies like PPD aren’t going to market to people with 9-5 jobs.

facilities pay an excess of $60,000 for fertile eggs.

“There are definitely college girls who do it.

But you choose your vice of how to make a lot of money,” said Ioudina.

She also described how being in college affects how much you would be paid for eggs. A facility that takes a woman’s eggs and sells them to a couple wanting to have children will be paid more for young, healthy “college-educated” DNA.

A word of caution If you are going to do this, Benavidez warns you to do your research.

“Read through the paperwork,” said Benavidez, “plan and research.” Utilize things

“You never know exactly what the experiment is.” to give participants medication that causes you to “lose your short-term memory and try to regain it with the pills.”

She also describes other testing that involves medication for cancer or AIDS. While she never directly participated in these programs, she knows of people who became violently ill after taking the medication.

Thankfully, not all studies involve memory-

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

“It’s a controlled environment. It’s definitely advertised as more fun than it is,” said Benavidez.

Sometimes you’re sharing a dorm area with up to 20 other people.

“It’s what I would imagine juvenile hall would be. There’s a fucked up pool table, a crappy big-screen TV, a Super Nintendo with missing cords,” said Benavidez. Oh, and not to mention the frequent blood draws.

There’s also a certain element of surprise.

But people like Ioudina feel differently.

“It’s absolutely a moral dilemma,” said Ioudina. “I think it’s terrible. They take advantage because they know kids will do it.”

Then there’s the little matter of reproduction.

When asked if she would sell her eggs for money, Ioudina paused. “If I did, I wouldn’t want to do it unless I had an intense financial need.”

She also describes extreme financial need as the only reason to take such measures since some

like Google. You want to make sure you’re not going to take something that’s “going to melt your brain later on in life.” When you’re in the program, “find your bitch, like in prison.

Buddy up and find someone to mentor you.”

Benavidez also said to stay on the lookout for these opportunities. They “won’t just let anybody do it. It’s a niche job. You need to fit the bill in order to do it.”

Amanda Chappel

Photo:young texans for excellence in higher education’s facebook Page (www.facebook.com/ourdegreesmatter)

teXaS higher ed coalition formS Student group the teXas CoalItIon For eXCellenCe in Higher Education, a group of prominent Texans that formed earlier this year in opposition to controversial reform efforts, have announced a spin-off group focused on students and young alumni.

Called Young Texans for Excellence in Higher Education, the organization has dozens of founding members, almost all of whom are tied to the University of Texas.

Keshav Rajagopalan, a former UT student body president and founding member of the group, said they’d be reaching out to students and alumni of Texas A&M University and other institutions around the state. “We, of course, hope this takes legs and we continue to gain support as we bring in other students around the state who are committed to this cause,” he said.

What exactly is that cause?

Natalie Butler, the current UT student body president, who is also one of the founding

HEGET HEariNG, oCToBEr 17, 2011: Co-chairs Rep. Dan Branch, R-Dallas, and Sen. Judith Zaffirini, D-Laredo, and other legislators listen as chairs of the University of Houston, University of North Texas, Texas Tech and Texas State system boards of regents give testimony before the committee. members, said, “We really want to make the message about ensuring the quality of their degree and making sure the UT they graduate

UT and A&M. Though, in the statement, the group also encourages “the continued development of excellence and accessibility

“we reAlly wAnt tO MAke the MeSSAge ABOut enSuring the QuAlity Of their degree And MAking Sure the ut they grAduAte frOM iS the ut they decided tO cOMe tO A nuMBer Of yeArS AgO.” from is the UT they decided to come to a number of years ago.”

Based on a statement released Oct 12. the group plans to focus on preserving the mission of the state’s flagship institutions,

throughout [the state’s] higher education system” and “the continued development of excellence and accessibility throughout our higher education system.”

Like a number of members of the original

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coalition, Butler testified at the recent inaugural hearing of the Joint Oversight Committee on Higher Education Governance, Excellence and Transparency, a legislative committee created in response to the same turmoil that inspired the coalition’s formation.

It held a committee, which focused on the role of university system regents, on Oct. 17.

Butler said she felt that the debate in the higher ed community had calmed down significantly in recent months but could still benefit from more student input. “I think the goal here is having a civil, wellrounded and representative conversation about higher education,” she said.

reeve hamilton THIS ARTICLE ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE TEXAS TRIBUNE

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events on or around CamPus

Publisher Michael Huereque

SuSiE HoMEBaKEr Oct 19

NE-yo aND KrEaySHaWN Oct 21

Everybody loves a good pastry, so come get your not-so-magic brownies at the Benson/LLIAS bake sale. All proceeds will benefit people who aren’t you.

Cartoon character Kreayshawn will be the opening act to the much more talented Ne-Yo. If you’re in the mood for out-ofbreath spoken word without a hook mixed with a mediocre beat, this bitch is for you.

Sid Richardson Hall (SRH), Units 1 & 2 8 AM - 1 PM

Frank Erwin Center 8-11 PM

FrEE HiV/STi SCrEENiNG Oct 20 We’ve all gotten the occasional chest cold from that dumb bitch we shouldn’t have made out with, but some colds are a bit more serious, like gonorrhea or AIDS. If you’re worried you’ve put your pecker where it really didn’t belong, come get screened. Do it. Please. No one else wants your nasty STDs.

Student Services Building (SSB), Glenn Maloney Room 9-3 PM

MoNDay NiGHT raW Oct 24

Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve

Itching to see some dumbasses beat the hell out of each other? Here’s your chance.

Amidst pyrotechnics and popcorn, watch John Cena and Alberto Del Rio tear each others’ faces off in this steel cage match.

Photographers Elijah Watson Shannon Grant

Frank Erwin Center 7:15 PM

Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter

GENDEr BENDEr Oct 20

Campus Writers John Jarzemsky Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie

Visual Arts Center 12-1:30PM

Sports Writers Ryan Betori Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Devon Tincknell Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne

the Schedule your guide to all things Burnt orange.

W Volleyball Baylor

WEDnESDAY, OCT 19

M Tennis iTa Texas regional Championships

Waco, Texas 7:00 PM

College Station, Texas All Day

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SunDAY, OCT 23

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College Station, Texas All Day

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Baseball Sam Houston State

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Dallas, Texas 6:30 PM

Austin, Texas 3:00 PM

Orlando, Fla. All Day

W Tennis iTa Texas regional Championship

W Soccer Seattle university

W Tennis iTa Texas regional Championship

SATurDAY, OCT 22

Baseball uTSa

Austin, Texas 1:00 PM

W Volleyball Missouri Austin, Texas 5:00 PM

W Swim & Dive SMu Classic Dallas, Texas TBA

Art Director Jessica Caraway Ad Designer Terry Kennedy

The VAC is presenting a lunchtime film series. This week’s film, Red Without Blue, is a documentary about two male twins, except one decides to become a woman. Bring your lunch because only sodas will be provided

Fort Worth, Texas All Day

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Austin, Texas 1:00 PM

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Fort Worth, Texas All Day

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Opinion

Air It Out

That’s what she said.

What’s your idea of a perfect Saturday?

Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

“Hookers.”

Leslie Chastain

“Going for a light jog then kayaking on lake Travis with some close friends.”

Mary Dang

Dear couple with three kids at the bar, It’s Friday at 9:00pm. I understand that you have three small children, and that you are a hip Austin couple that still likes to drink beer and hang out in West Campus well into their forties.

It’s weird, but here is the thing: You’re sitting at the bar. Your happy little family of five are not only taking up all the bar seats, but as you drink that pint, your youngest almost got stomped on by a group of bros. I just want a beer, maybe a quick shot, definitely a place to sit down. I want to smoke a cigarette and use un-ladylike language to talk about my job. Please take the kids to a table or, better yet, home. It’s past their bedtime, and you can get beer at the store.

Sincerely, Of legal drinking age How to get us to actually print what you write.

1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto.

Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to AirItOut@uweeklyaustin.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space.

“I would go to Barton springs, then get a snocone, then read in my room, make some crayon art, and then go clubbing at night .“

Morgan Taylor

“My ideal Saturday, at least in the Fall, would be sleeping in, grabbing a few friends and cooking lunch that we would eat outside, picnic style, followed by shopping and strolling along SoCo, topped off with a home UT game at night.”

Emily Neinast

“I’d love to wake up to the smell of hot syrup and pancakes, and hit the road under sunny skies, music blasting and sunroof down on the way to the lake. I’d want to spend the afternoon tanning and enjoying the lake, then go shopping and hit a dance club or bar.”

“Laying in bed all day with someone with some Chuy’s take out.”

Kristin Kollar

Garima Narang

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

9

Photo: university of texas at austin athletics

a work in

progreSS why Some fanS on the 40 acreS need to Stop acting like the Sky iS falling

Longhorns ended up falling in a close game that Texas will probably feel it could have won. But in the game of football, much like the game of life, that’s just not how the ball bounced last Saturday.

But I did see something. In fact I saw a few things.

I saw a freshman quarterback grow up right in front of my eyes and learn what it means to play four full quarters of the college game. I saw a 28-year-old signal caller exploit the mistakes of an extremely young but clearly talented secondary. I saw everything I could have wanted to see from Malcolm Brown as he ended up rushing for 127 yards and two scores. Most importantly, however, I saw progress and a clear indication about where this team is heading.

Even as I was walking out of DKR after the

game I was shocked at how little I felt the loss sting me. After all, how could I be upset at a group of kids that did their best to represent the University of Texas and the Longhorn brand in a positive manner? Hell, the part that upset

me the most was wondering why this isn’t the kind of team we had last year, even in a loss.

Now that Texas currently sits at 4-2, however, many Longhorns are already willing to label this a “building” year, which it definitely is,

TUESDAYS 9AM + WEDNESDAY 7PM {45MINS}

oBvIously, last saturday did not go down the way I had originally hoped. Ideally, in my mind, Texas would have had too big of a chip on its shoulder from its previous loss against OU to allow a second consecutive loss in their first home game in over a month.

David Ash, once again in my mind, was going to feel the vibes from all over DKR stadium and become the polished passer I fully know he’s capable of becoming just one week after being abused against Oklahoma. And I figured Malcolm Brown may or may not have his first career 200 yard game with maybe three touchdowns to go with it. What can I say, I have an active imagination.

Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed as an extremely willing yet over-matched group of

as 4-2 is not a record that’s typically cohesive with the burnt orange standard. What people need to be mindful of, however, is that this is the rebuilding year Texas needed. As 2010’s 5-7 record begins to fade in the back of the minds of many UT fans, one thing that’s still clear is that 2010 was not a rebuilding year, it was just a black hole of suck.

2011 has become the year that many fans fully expected 2010 to be and it’s coming at the hands of a young and innovative coaching staff. A staff that will have a lot to look at when the Horns face Kansas after another bye-week.

After two straight losses now, a little bit of confidence would go a long way for the Longhorns, who see perennial Big 12 whipping boy Kansas as an opportunity to build some of that mojo. Even though the Jayhawks won their first two games against McNeese State and Northern Illinois (who?), they’ve lost their most recent four games in brutal fashion by an aggregate score of 228-103.

If Texas is looking to build anywhere, though, it would have to be in the passing game, and given how many yards in the air Kansas has given up all year to even mediocre passing teams, the coaches are

sure to give Ash a lot of opportunities to air out the football and make some plays.

So for now, the term “rebuilding year” is plenty applicable. After all, how could you say Texas is a finished product when its quarterback, leading receiver, and leading rusher are all freshman? How could you say this team is a finished product when the secondary is still so green yet manages to come up with a surprising number of big plays? How could you say this team is a finished product when the offensive line hasn’t even had a full year under new O-line coach Stacy Searles to play together as a fluid unit? The answer is you can’t, because they aren’t.

But let’s not forget that things can get pretty exciting when you don’t necessarily expect to win 10 games a year. After all, it makes you appreciate it that much more when you get back to that place, which I’m sure this team will experience soon enough.

Mostly, it just takes time, and right now it’s a time for Longhorn fans everywhere to be a part of this ride as we watch this team turn into the well-oiled machine we know it will one day become. Hook ‘em.

I saw progress and

a clear indication about where this team is heading.

Brian Bogart

The Highlight Reel The sporting world took a major hit this weekend when reigning Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon died from injuries sustained in a 15-car collision on the race track last Sunday. Besides losing a celebrated two-time Indy 500 winner, this tragedy couldn’t come at a worse time for IndyCar, which has been trying to recover from a slow last couple of years. The sport thought it had finally gained some momentum heading into the 2011 IZOD IndyCar World Championship, but that was promptly curbed after the incident.

Now IndyCar is at a serious crossroads as everyone from fans to five-time NASCAR Sprint Cup winner Jimmie Johnson is clamoring for some sort of reform in this dangerous sport.

In an incident that made ESPN look like a Bravo reality show, opposing coaches Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh found themselves in a minor tiff when Harbaugh showed a bit too much exuberance for Schwartz’s liking after the 49ers handed the Lions their first loss of the year. As the bizarre scene continued to develop, Schwartz eventually began to chase Harbaugh, who was trying to run back

to his locker room after his team’s win, and the two would ultimately have to be separated. So what are some things we can take away from this one? Well, Jim Harbaugh is the leading candidate for coach of the year, Jim Schwartz is definitely buying into the “bad boy” culture the Lions have been trying to establish ever since they started winning, and some NFL coaches do, in fact, have a bit of a sensitive side.

Rangers, baby. Rangers.

The youth of this Texas football team may be experiencing some growing pains at the moment, but for goodness sake stand by these Longhorns. This is a group that we won’t want to forget once it’s all said and done and they’ve made their full impact on the 40 Acres. Believe me, you’re not gonna wanna look like the one jackass who clamored for so-and-so to get pulled out of the game when they’re just freshmen who could be future AllAmericans or even Heisman candidates.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Brian Bogart

Sources Mizzou ready to apply to the SEC Missouri appears to have finally made up its mind to leave the Big 12 and join the SEC, three sources close to the situation told Orangebloods.com.

The process is expected to begin Thursday or Friday, when Missouri’s board of curators is scheduled to meet in Kansas City, the sources said.

Interim Big 12 commissioner Chuck Neinas had indicated last week that Missouri was likely to be a member of the Big 12 in 2012-13 no matter what it decided. But sources said Missouri may try to become a member of the SEC in 2012-13.

The deadline for football scheduling in the 2012-13 school year is fast approaching, so Missouri’s application could fit right under that deadline, the sources said.

If Missouri leaves the Big 12, there are differing views about if the Big 12 should proceed as a 10member or 12-member league. But it appears the leading candidates to replace Missouri are West Virginia, Louisville and possibly BYU, the sources said.

If the league were to expand to 12, it could be all three.

BYU was long considered a top candidate to join the Big 12, but sources said BYU lost interest when the Big 12 appeared to be destabilizing in early September.

Since the Big 12 has talked about granting Tier 1 and 2 TV rights to the conference, BYU has felt better about possibly joining

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Faurot Field on October 6, 2007 moments before the Missouri vs. Nebraska football game. the Big 12, sources said. Although, it’s unclear where BYU would be on the list of replacements for Missouri, the sources said.

One source said the top choices to replace Missouri would still be West Virginia or Louisville if the league was to remain at 10 members.

If Missouri leaves the Big 12, there are differing views about if the Big 12 should proceed as a 10-member or 12member league.

It’s been a strange journey for Missouri, whose chancellor, Brady Deaton, was the head of the Big 12 Board of Directors and

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worked hard to hold the Big 12 together after Oklahoma expressed an interest in exploring its conference options on Sept. 2.

But as Missouri’s board of curators and others at MU became more enamored with the idea of joining the SEC, Deaton had to step down from his position as head of the five-member Big 12 expansion committee and as the head of the league’s board of directors.

Missouri also played a role in realignment in 2010 as its Gov. Jay Nixon told the Associated Press the Tigers were probably a better fit in the Big Ten than in the Big 12. Those comments prompted a group of six schools in the Big 12 (Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Colorado) to become targets of the Pac-12.

Nebraska ultimately got the Big Ten invitation, and Colorado left for the Pac-10.

Missouri would become the 14th member of the SEC, joining Texas A&M as members of the Big 12 to bolt for that league.

The SEC would be picking up its second American Association of Universities (AAU) member in Missouri (Texas A&M is the other).

The AAU represents to top research universities in the country. Currently, only Florida and Vanderbilt are AAU members in the SEC. As long as it appears the Big 12 will survive as a conference, it is unclear what legal threat the SEC may face from schools such as Baylor, Iowa State and Kansas.

But if Missouri was to leave the league, the conference realignment dominoes would begin falling again.

Stay tuned.

Chip Brown Orangebloods.com Columnist

Photo: University of Texas at Austin Athletics

The Freshman Foundation Longhorn tip-off one month away, team built for long-term success Basketball season at the University of Texas is a lot like the cute girl in class who never talks and always dresses modestly.

Seated inconspicuously in the back behind the cheerleaders, you always forget to notice her. Then one day, by the grace of God, she accidentally wears spandex and you get the most pleasant surprise of your semester.

Like that girl, Texas basketball sneaks up on you. And the Longhorns are less than a month away from donning spandex.

In the past, when Texas football has been perennially in the national championship hunt at this time of year, basketball season being a month away wouldn’t be too worthy of brain-space. Hell, during the Colt era, basketball season was hardly dwelt upon when it started.

But times have changed. The cheerleaders have let themselves go and so you find yourself fantasizing more and more about

of youngsters, only one, PG Myck Kabongo, is a bona-fide five-star, one-and-done player. The other recruits are three- and four-star guys, some of whom aren’t even ranked nationally. Doesn’t sound too enticing, does it?

But here’s the good news: everything I’ve just listed. It’s just going to take some patience. Most years Texas has two of the nation’s top 15 freshman and although it’s exciting, it doesn’t result in much tangible benefit. Lottery pick or not, come March it’s hard for any freshman to lead a team to a serious postseason run. You need guys who’ve been there before. After flashes of brilliance throughout the regular season, Texas inevitably falls short in March because they’re relying on superstars-tobe, who, at the moment, have very little high-stakes basketball experience. If it were like football and freshman had to stay we’d

By all appearances, it seems Rick Barnes is finally building a team for the future the cute girl who is otherwise overshadowed by them. Texas basketball: we want you, we need you. Here’s a dissection of what to expect when the Longhorns finally take to the court on Nov. 13th.

The bad news: on paper, this is one of the weaker teams of the Rick Barnes era.

There is not a single returning starter.

The Longhorns won’t make any preseason top 25 polls and they’re picked fifth in preseason in the Big 12 rankings. They’re also even younger than they’ve ever been (6 of the team’s 12 players are freshman).

And uncharacteristically, out of this group

be the Roman Empire of college basketball, but the freshman always leave for the draft and the cycle repeats itself. What we’re left with is the disheartening residue of hype, potential, what-ifs, and if-onlys.

But this year’s different. We might not have all the “wow” moments of years past, but we may be getting our first glimpses of a nascent national champion (think two or three seasons away). Which, in my opinion, is a hell of a lot more exciting than preseason hype that only translates into postseason letdown.

Myck Kabongo is the only NBA-ready

player on the team. Despite his NBA potential, he’ll be the second-best player on our team to junior J’Covan Brown (a tweener who’ll probably never get to hold up a jersey at a press conference). Brown has been a sixth man for two years now (arguably the best in Texas history), and he’s been unfairly overlooked by Texas fans and general college hoops fans alike.

Brown leaves something to be desired on defense, but he’s an absolute spark on offense. He’s cocky, he’s loud, and he plays big when it matters. It will be his team this year and he’s going to explode on offense. He’s a preseason all Big 12 selection. Look for 18 ppg, some dazzling assists, and a whole lot of trash talking.

Brown’s the only big contributor from last year’s team. Brown will be joined by Alexis Wangmene, who got some decent tick last season, but probably can’t give much more than he gave (78 rebounds, 77 points, and an astounding 68 fouls; hopefully he gives less fouls). There’s also Clint Chapman, the senior with the prince’s name who hasn’t been anything other than a bench player. Chapman will certainly be seeing more time, but he’ll be taking a

backseat to freshman Jonathan Holmes and Jaylen Bond, both of whom can play center.

As I’ve already mentioned, besides Kabongo, we have no five-star freshman.

Still, all six of our freshmen will be seeing plenty of court. In the long run, this will be huge for us. We’ll be retaining players who’ve actually played. Two years from now these guys will be still be around, and, in addition to being talented, they’ll also be seasoned.

By all appearances, it seems Rick Barnes is finally building a team for the future (or one that will be around for more than one season). As a result, there are going to be growing pains. For the first half of the season, it’s going to be rough. But without an excess of superstars (and egos) I also anticipate us over performing instead of under performing. In March, it’s overachievers like Michigan State and Butler that make noise. We won’t be that loud, but we will be a pleasant surprise. Think second round of the NCAA tournament this year and an Elite Eight birth the next. Think patience. Think spandex.

Ryan Betori UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

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TruThfuLLY, nOBODY rEALLY KnOWS what’s going on with the NBA lockout. It’s the classic battle of billionaires vs. millionaires, and no member of the country’s highest tax But if there’s one consolation, it’s that serious situations have a knack for breeding ridiculous tweets. In this day and age, lockouts aren’t just fought in mahogany rooms; the fight has extended itself to the totally transparent and completely unfettered world of the web. Below are the latest battle cries from the front line.

@jr_smith1: Life is to short to play games (That was JR Smith, who has since shut down his twitter account, presumably referring to game-like back and forth bickering of the NBA lockout.)

If JR Smith either a) didn’t have every inch of his body covered in tattoos or b) didn’t forget an “o” on his “to,” I’d probably give him props for a well-played nod to irony. However, I don’t think Mr. Smith is being purposefully tongue-in-cheek when he admits that life is no place for games in the midst of a lockout that is barring him and every other NBA player from playing the game which affords them millions of dollars. But it’s okay, we like the thought. The regular season is usually s**t anyhow.

@StephensonLance: Playing 2k with my bra (Lance Stephenson, being reduced to virtual basketball like the rest of us.)

@Arron_Afflalo: life goes on (Arron Afflalo on the lockout.)

Also, no, it doesn’t. News flash, Afflalo: I don’t have a life. I live vicariously through the athletes I worship. Clearly Afflalo needs to get a grip.

@KingJames: @ClaytonESPN When is the deadline for a team to sign a free agent?

(LeBron James, inquiring to ESPN football analyst John Clayton about playing in the NFL.) In the past two years, the King without a crown has firmly established himself as a media whore. So it’s no surprise that as soon as the NBA season was officially postponed, LeBron pulled a stunt to keep his name in the headlines. But, despite the obvious ploy for attention, the tweet isn’t totally ridiculous. In fact, it’s pretty enticing. Even after his laughable performance in the NBA finals, LeBron remains the most impressive physical specimen in the world.

Anybody who’s ever seen the guy tomahawk slam has wondered what he’d be like in football pads. The probable answer? Pretty damn unstoppable. LeBron was an all-state receiver as a high school sophomore and 5’10” cornerbacks would have no answer for a 6’8”, 250-pound rock-solid giant with a 40-inch vertical. An NFL fan’s dream is an NBA commissioner’s nightmare. The NBA wouldn’t know what to do if its biggest star opted for cleats. Luckily for David Stern, LeBron just wants to be talked about.

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

bracket takes to losing too kindly. The first two weeks of the NBA season have already been cancelled, and it still doesn’t look like a readily viable solution is on the horizon. It’s a tough time to be an NBA fan. @StephenCurry30: #thissucks (Stephen Curry’s reaction to the news of the league’s cancellation of the first two weeks of games.)

Curry went to Davidson, which means he’s a pretty smart dude. His tweet evidences this. It’s a colloquial and simple acknowledgement of the bleak state of the NBA and it’s exactly what the fans want to see. I don’t want to hear any platitudes about the lockout being part of God’s plan or that the time off will only make players hungrier. I want it to be said like it is. And how is it? Sucky. Well played, Curry.

@DwyaneWade: STERN’s “WORDS” 2day hurt the ppl who work at the AAA,other arena’s,as well as local businesses &our fans..

I like Dwayne Wade because he seems like a genuinely nice guy and, more importantly, didn’t choke in the NBA Finals. But this is so lame. For one, the grammar would make my 3rd grade teacher beat me in the head with a ruler if I wrote it. Note to Wade: any pandering to the proletariat should be done with proper English.

Then there’s the annoying quotation around and capitalization of “WORDS” which seems to imply that David Stern was speaking Elvish when he announced the NBA lockout. Lastly, and most regrettably, is everything else about the tweet. Wade is disingenuous for feigning like the livelihood of Miami workers is his chief concern. If this was the case, Wade (and everyone else) should simply agree to a cut in pay. If that’s unreasonable he could always hire these suffering workers as his proofreaders.

#StandUnited This has been a common hashtag for NBA players announcing their unification against the tyranny of wealthy owners.

This is funny. In a world full of wars, foreclosures, and drum circles on Wall Street, it’s hard to take something like “StandUnited” seriously. For starters, it’s a hashtag. Hashtags share the same prefix as “hash browns”.

Enough said. But more relevantly, the fight for an NBA season is very silly in comparison to some of the battles I listed in the first sentence. And it’s even sillier to try and make it as heroic as those battles with some half-baked slogan that’s trying to pull at the heartstrings.

@BrianCardinal: #arewereallyrelyingonhashtagnegotiations (From Mavericks bench-warmer and team clown Brian Cardinal on the absurdity of the NBA twitter war.)

The answer, of course, is yes. We sure are.

ryan Betori

Photo: Keith allison

tweet tweet: nba lockout edition

Photo: Bellator

this week in face punchin’

Vianna and Shlemenko set up Bellator finale The middleweights were on display at Bellator 54 in Atlantic City on Saturday night, as the event featured the semifinals of the organization’s season five middleweight tournament. All four fighters in the semifinals were finishing specialists, and that proved to be true, as both Alexander Shlemenko and Vitor Vianna advanced to next month’s tournament finale with TKO wins.

First, the former Brazilian jiu-jitsu world champion Vianna showed that he’s not a one-trick pony as he dropped former tournament finalist Bryan Baker with a right hand before finishing the fight with a slew of hammer fists before the referee jumped in to stop the bout. In the night’s main event, Shlemenko advanced to his second tournament finale as he stopped Brian Rogers with knees in the second round of their bout. The two fighters traded power shots in the first frame and it appeared as though Rogers was ahead, but the former tournament champion turned up the heat in the second round to put Rogers away.

Vianna and Shlemenko will now meet at next month’s Bellator 58 event, with the winner of that bout earning a title shot against current Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard, who will also be in action at Bellator 58 in a non-title “super fight” with veteran fighter Trevor Prangley.

Bellator 58 will be headlined by a lightweight title fight featuring champion Eddie Alvarez defending his title against undefeated top contender Michael Chandler.

Bellator returns this weekend with Bellator 55 in Arizona. The event will feature the bantamweight tournament semifinals, as Alexis Vila will take on Marcos Galvao and Ed West will face Eduardo Dantas. Light heavyweight champion Christian M’Pumbu will also take on veteran Travis Wiuff in a non-title “super fight.”

M-1 Challenge returned on Friday night, and two titles were decided at the event. In the main event, light heavyweight champion Vinny Magalhaes came back after losing the first two rounds to defend his title in explosive fashion with a head kick knockout over Mikhail Zayats.

Magalhaes has become one of the hottest fighters in the sport, as he earned his fifth straight stoppage win just one month after winning gold at the Abu Dhabi submission grappling world championships.

Heavyweight Kenny Garner was expecting to get a rematch with undefeated M-1 heavyweight champion Guram Gugenishvili at the event, but instead he settled for an interim title bout with Maxim Grishin after Gugenishvili was injured and was forced to pull out of the bout. Garner earned his third straight win as he stopped Grishin with punches in the fifth round, setting up the grudge match with the champion when he returns healthy.

Last week’s “The Ultimate Fighter 14” featured two quarterfinal bouts, and “Team Jason Miller” continued its domination over “Team Michael Bisping” as it moved its record to 4-0 in the two separate tournaments. First up, featherweight Dennis Bermudez stopped Stephen Bass in the second round of their bout. Bermudez joins teammate Bryan Caraway in the semifinals. After the bout, Bass blamed coach Bisping for the loss, saying that he was overworked prior to the bout. In the bantamweight fight, Dustin Pague

submitted Louis Gaudinot with a rear naked choke. Pague joins teammate Johnny Bedford in the bantamweight semifinals.

Quick Hits: UFC heavyweight Shane Carwin had a second back surgery and will be out of action until the spring or summer of next year…Bellator announced that it has signed Brazilian middleweight knockout artist and UFC veteran Maiquel Falcao to a contract…

Jorge Masvidal will challenge Gilbert Melendez for the Strikeforce lightweight title on Dec. 17 in San Diego…Lightweights K.J. Noons and Billy Evangelista will also square off at that Strikeforce event on Dec. 17…With Ken Hershman stepping down from his position as head of Showtime Sports, the future of Strikeforce and MMA on the channel is in jeopardy; Hershman is now expected to head to HBO, which now becomes a favorite to seek MMA programming…Former WWE champion and Strikeforce fighter Bobby Lashley will return to action at Shark Fights 21 on Nov. 11, where he will face UFC veteran Darrill Schoonover for the organization’s heavyweight title…The UFC will return to its 10pm ET Pay-per-view slot with UFC 141 on Dec. 30 after switching to 9pm ET starting with UFC 129 earlier this year

David McKinney

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

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Where to go to look cultured and informed for a date on a budget Looking to impress that studio art chick that you have a crush but can’t tell Franz Kline apart from Calvin Klein? Is treating your date to a Wendy’s Bacon Deluxe just not getting you anywhere? Looking cultured can be exhausting, not to mention expensive. Luckily, there is no shortage of culture and people with empty wallets in Austin. Moreover, there are so many events and places that allow you to feel hip and informed without having to take out another student loan. Our research scientists here at UWeekly have crunched some numbers, done extensive research, and field tested the following date locations for affordability and class.

Arthouse Austin 700 Congress www.arthouse.org Located just a fixed gears’ bike ride from campus, Arthouse Austin is the premier venue for contemporary art in Austin. And, it’s free. Clueless as to how to engage with the exhibition, and with your date? Arthouse offers a number of guided lectures on the exhibits called talking art. So you can relax and put away those flashcards with conversation starters. If you’re feeling even classier, you can fork over a Hamilton on Wednesdays to experience downtown from the roof.

Top Notch Burger 7525 Burnet After you’ve thrown some quarters in the jukebox at Lala’s, head a couple of blocks south down to the only drive-in in town that

doesn’t serve cheesecake bites and other food items that a dog would wince at. Top Notch Burger is an Austin landmark. Having been featured in one of the most famous scenes in Dazed and Confused, you can pretend that you are Wooderson as you quote your favorite lines. Don’t like eating burgers in your car? The place’s wood and brick interior is so funky, it might even spark the same magic that wooed your parents into producing you.

B-Scene at the Blanton East Martin Luther King www.blantonmuseum.org Of course you’ve been to the Blanton before, right? Unfortunately, most students will walk across the stage at the Frank Erwin Center before they walk over to the Blanton.

The perfect place to impress a date with your art-street cred without costing you a dime, the Blanton has has a world-renowned permanent collection along with pretty boss touring collections. Even better are the monthly B-Scene parties on Friday which feature music, snacks, and guided tours to punctuate the awkward silences.

Austin Cinematheque UT Union www.austincinematheque.com Based on the glory days of CinemaTexas, Austin Cinematheque is bringing the classics back to the big screen. With films from Woody Allen, Francis Truffaut, and Jean Luc Godard, the Cinematheque is the perfect place to prove

FINE & FORM FITTING ITALIAN CLOTHING 2815c Guadalupe St. Austin Open 7 days a week

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

If you’re feeling even classier, you can fork over a Hamilton on Wednesdays to experience downtown from the roof. to your date that you are a film geek without having to incur all the late fees while being belittled by the clerks at Vulcan or I Heart Video.

Mount Bonnell 3800 Mount Bonnell Rd As the night winds down and your brain is thoroughly saturated with culture, you might be looking for a place to lay the mack down

other than your seedy dorm room. There is no better place in Austin to seal the deal with a date than Mount Bonnell. Located just west of Mopac, Mount Bonnell serves as sort of a make out point for couples of all ilks. Experience views that would make even an eagle cry as you casually stretch your arm over that date’s shoulder with a big yawn.

William M. Bass

uweekly’S BreAkdOwn On dAytiMe ActivitieS And the peOple yOu Might AccidentAlly Seduce.

In some ways, college can be a lot like living on a pirate ship: long, dry periods of boredom punctuated by short, synapsebursting explosions of euphoria and/or terror. In the former of these scenarios, we (at least I) may call up an acquaintance for accompaniment in a mundane activity, be it making brownies or watching hockey games. If this scenario involves a female companion, there’s about a 50/50 chance that the goal is either strictly platonic bond-strengthening or a direct attempt to get into a pair of panties (if my mom is reading this, pretend I wrote “astronomy notes”). Naturally this can be a little confusing when both parties aren’t on the same wavelength, so here is UWeekly’s guide to boring, bullshit daytime activities, and the chances you might be sending a mixed message with it.

premiership Soccer or any other niche sport what’s the message it sends? SeXual I learned this one the hard way. Bonding over a mutual love for a worldly sport is like meeting someone while looking through the same section of early ’90s Jungle records. Both require an intense personal passion and garner a certain spontaneous “Oh my god we both like this thing nobody likes and you don’t look like you live in a cave!” reaction. We’ve all fallen for girls and guys who have the same taste as us; the same thing goes for your baffling adoration of Australian rugby: immediate attraction. If you’re just looking for a bro who understands the rules and offers some witty banter, spare him/her the heartbreak. Keep in mind, especially for girls, he probably thinks he’ll never meet an American girl who can drop deep Cricket knowledge ever again.

stuff. I’m not trying to be chauvinistic here, it’s just a simple truth that a woman’s interest in making food and a good conversation vastly outweighs any interest they have in your dick.

So stop putting your well-meaning female friends in awkward positions when they show up with a case of brownie mix.

1 st A n nual

Photoscavenger Hunt & Mayhem SUN Oct 23rd

bowling, and other union underground-esque activities what’s the message it sends? both This is a tricky one, simply because some people in the world just really like to bowl or play air hockey, or do other gawky middleschool stuff in the daytime. You have to understand that the reason your companion wants to go bowling with you may come from an unprecedented deep love of bowling.

If you’re not trying to make a date out of it (which, let’s face it, you’ve taken them to a bowling alley, you’re clearly not interested in a relationship) this is a very good thing.

Now, if the companion doesn’t seem like a passionate bowler, but comes along with you frequently on your bowling excursions, be warned, because this probably means they’re completely obsessed with you. Let’s face it, the only thing that could convince someone completely uninterested in bowling to steadfastly accompany someone to the Union Underground is a mean infatuation streak.

Contact Beso Cantina via facebook to register! a freshly minted scent, it’s clear there won’t be much studying, but a lot of “studying.” However, and this is a fallacy many a college student has tripped over, meeting someone on the 5th floor of the PCL to talk about Chinese History and joke about the professor’s beard is some of the least sexy shit ever. Of course we all get our hopes up, and then the respective

party mentions how her and her five-year-long live-in boyfriend is halfway through the 3rd season of Battlestar Galactiga. Yeah, she’s here to study, get your head out of the gutter and be glad she had the courtesy to mention her boyfriend before you got too far ahead of yourself.

LUKE WINKIE

Study dates what’s the message it sends? platonic Obviously this one depends on context. Sure, if the companion shows up at your door around 9 PM with a handle of vodka and

cooking and/or baking what’s the message it sends? platonic It seems guys are always really excited when they get a girl to come over to make cookies, but this is probably one of the biggest misreads on campus. Girls like coming over to bake with you because cookies are delicious and, generally speaking, girls just kinda like cooking

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

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the

ThIS WEEK On VErSuS we travelled to a classic West Campus party to ask the denizens how they feel about one of the most infamous places in Austin. As I was walking to get my tape recorder, people were shouting “WhErE’S YOur frIEnDS, MAn?” and throwing what appeared to be full bottles of wine onto the sidewalk. It’s good to be back. About 50 percent

BAttle Of weSt campuS of these names are real. You take what you can get when you’re interviewing inebriated subjects.

LUKE WINKIE

iS weSt cAMpuS A diSeaSe or a lifeStyle?

• “West Campus is a lifestyle, and the police are our neighbors.” Lawrence Hernandez • “I actually had my vaccine a few months ago; I’d only wear my hazmat suit if it was the theme of the party.” - Jack Dawson, Sailing

• “The drag rats have infected it so goddamn much that I can’t walk around here without feeling infected. They’re not people they’re just things.” Casey Malish, Social Work • “It’s like bed bugs, it never goes away.” -“Ice Bone,” Sports Broadcasting • “I feel like West Campus is like a wart on your genital area, and it never goes away. And it completely destroys your sex life.” -Adam McKenzie, Graphic Design • “West Campus is a hellhole, West Campus is an anomaly, I don’t understand how it can still exist without regulation. I would imagine at this point we would have state-sponsored police at every private party.” -Stephen Malkmus

whAt Age iS too old tO Be living in weSt cAMpuS?

NFL SUNDAY HEADQUARTERS COMPLIMENTARY BUFFET FROM 11AM-12:30PM

• “I see 30-year-olds living at Co-Ops and they’re still getting down, same with the 15-year-olds that show up. It’s a welcoming place!”

-Jordan Greenberg, Engineering

• “Probably like 14.” -Adam McKenzie • “My dad raised me in West Campus and he was like 49 when I moved out.” -Jack Dawson

$3 16 oz TAL

• “Once you graduate from college you should not live in West Campus.

I’m hoping to move out of West Campus as soon as possible. As soon as my fucking lease is up.” -Max Lipchitz

wOuld yOu ever bring your child tO weSt cAMpuS?

L BOYS

$5 BLOODY MARYS

• “I think you’re too old when you feel like you’re breaking the law when associating with your friends.” -Lawrence Hernandez

• “I’d bring his hand to the door of West Campus, but let him go as soon as he enters.” -Lawrence Hernandez

• “Fuck no! This is no place for a child. You should never ever EVER bring a kid here EVER!” -Some girl who overheard the question.

dO yOu truSt weSt cAMpuS drug deAlerS? $3.25 PREMIU

M DRAFT

$2.75 DOMESTIC DRAFT 422 congress ave sw corner 5th and congress www.ShinersSaloon.com

• “It’s where I get my addy! The kids are apparently calling ‘em ‘addy’ now.” -Anna, Computer Science • “I live on the east side and the crack sucks, buy it from West Campus.” -Adam • “Absolutely, if it’s laced with pig’s blood I’m bound to have a pretty awesome trip. I do PCP with Tom Petty, he lives around here.” -“Ice Bone”

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

• “I unilaterally don’t trust drug dealers.” -Max Lipchitz, American Studies

with john jarzemsky Texas Rangers return to World Series For the second time in as many years, and in the entirety of franchise history, the Texas Rangers are headed to the World Series. News of this development brought a smile to sports fans embarrassed to be associated with the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Longhorns, who will now be able to jump on board the bandwagon of a winning Texas franchise for the first and maybe last time this year. 100% of those polled could only respond with profanityfilled rants regarding the NBA lockout, except for Mark Cuban, who gleefully made plans to hang a second “World Champions” banner in the American Airlines Center should stalled negotiations result in the cancellation of this year’s season.

Google pulls plug on Google Buzz, confusing millions Silicon Valley giant Google announced plans to shut down its f irst attempt at a social network , Google Buz z, af ter the project failed to yield positive results af ter eighteen months. The move prompted confusion amongst millions from all over the world, mostly because they could barely remember what Google+ is or what it ’s supposed to do, let alone the positively ancient Google Buz z. Twelve -year- old bloggers all over the countr y took note of the solemn news by posting “ Wtf is goggle buz hahaha lolz!!!11” before returning to the matter at hand (posting still more pictures of funny cats, and also this one remix of that stupid Rebecca Black song “Friday”).

Real Steel and Footloose vie for spot as Most Expensive Waste of Time For the second week in a row, the Hugh Jackman-helmed Real Steel has topped the

Some analysts pick Romney as likely GOP contender in 2012

North American box office charts, pulling in a total haul of $51.7 million, or enough money to feed nearly half of all children starving in war-stricken African nations. Real Steel, which Despite the late surge of Herman Cain in cost an estimated $80 million to produce, is various polls, several editorial outlets and an underdog story that taps into the human even the White House itself have declared condition by way of giant CGI robots former Massachusetts governor punching each other in the Mitt Romney as the most likely face. The film, which Republican candidate for executives call “familyPresident in 2012. If these oriented,” beat out Twelve-year-old predictions are true, all a remake of the bloggers all over the Americans will finally be 1984 Kevin Bacon country took note of able to see a Presidential vehicle Footloose, the solemn news by campaign in which real, which exists posting “Wtf is goggle pressing, and important because, let’s buz hahaha lolz!!!11” issues are discussed: face it, if there’s before returning to who is more dangerous, a anything kids the matter at hand black Muslim Manchurian growing up in these candidate or a Mormon uncertain times need, plant for the Illuminati? When it’s the re-imagining of a asked for comment, local Luddite 27-year-old movie starring and renaissance nutjob Alex Jones turned an actor they’ve never heard of. three different shades of purple before If there’s a lesson to be learned from any of melting into a steaming pile of goo. this, it’s that movies loosely based on toys John Jarzemsky always do better than even a recycled original thought. Take a note of it, kids.

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

19

photoscourtesymarkdennis

StringS in auStin new filM STRINGS iS winning AwArdS everywhere And On itS wAy tO AuStin filM feStivAl StRiNgS seems to wIn an award at every film festival it’s screened at. At the Tulsa International Film Festival and the Long Island International Film Expo, directors Mark Dennis and Ben Foster won Best Director. At the White Sands International Film Festival and Breckenridge Film Festival, the film won the Audience Award. And the list just goes on.

Not bad for these filmmakers’ debut.

Dennis and Foster discovered they worked well together after they were paired in a class at the University of Texas. Dennis said that it is their differences that balance each other out. He can give Foster a page of his script and Foster will understand what every line of dialogue means.

“Of all the people I’ve worked with in film school, I never could make anything with anybody where we clicked and we got each other,” said Dennis.

Strings is about a musician, Billy, trying to cope with the death of his young daughter.

He attends therapy, but discovers his psychiatrist has his patients commit crimes.

Dennis intentionally wrote Billy as a musician.

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October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

“I wanted there to be some kind of artist, because it’s really important for that character to feel like he’s worthless. Because he’s pursuing his passion and not doing the 9 to 5,” said Dennis.

Billy is played by actual musician Billy Harvey. Harvey also contributed to one of the main songs of the film, which Dennis said helped him finish the script. Although at first, the directors were nervous when Harvey pitched the song for the movie.

“Our first thought was, ‘Oh god.’ Every time somebody says that it’s always horrible,” said Dennis. “He played it for us on the piano and it’s fucking amazing. It’s such a beautiful song.”

Austinites will finally get a chance to watch Strings at the Austin Film Festival on Oct. 22 and 25 at the Rollins Theatre in The Long Center for the Performing Arts. For Dennis and Foster, finally premiering the film at their hometown and the place it was filmed is just the perfect way to wrap it all up.

“If we had started at the Austin Film Festival, it would have been the end first,” said Dennis.

“Mark and I were talking the other day about

STriNGS: Mark Dennis and Ben Foster at the Gotham Film Festival how this is structured a lot like a movie and that making a movie and all this stuff is all part of building towards the end of the movie and into the climax. Playing it in New York City, then LA, then Austin a couple days later, it’s like the crescendo and climax for the story of Strings, the story of the making of Strings.”

“Even though it’s such a small amount of success in the bigger picture of life, it feels so successful to have everybody excited about it and have everybody wanting to come into Austin Film Festival to really pursue this festival,” said Foster.

Dennis and Foster said their mission when they made Strings was to get the attention of Hollywood. Getting into several film festivals and winning awards made them feel they have succeeded in their goal. But Dennis will be the first to say they do not want to be independent filmmakers and starving artists. They want to create films in the same vein of James Cameron and Christopher Nolan.

“I totally support those people, but Ben and I are out there to make big movies and blow shit up,” said Dennis.

However, now that they’ve won all these

awards, they feel the pressure is on to create another successful film, but they’re ready for the next one.

“We set the bar a little bit higher for ourselves than we thought we were going to,” said Dennis. “Because, oh, your movie is winning awards and you like shit, I got to make a badass follow up. I got to be able to hand Ben a script that he’s just like this is fucking amazing. If it’s not, it’s like, ‘Oh no.’

You got to do better. You always want to do better.”

In the meantime, the guys are ready to celebrate with Austin.

Whether they continue with festivals afterwards or not, they feel the Austin Film Festival is a great was to end their story of the making of Strings.

“We worked on Strings for so long and I think we achieved a lot with it,” said Dennis. “But I think if this was it and we didn’t get in any more festivals, that’ll be a great way to go out in a festival run.”

“Everything else is a sequel or something.

It’s like the scenes in the end credits,” said Foster. “It may not ever be as exciting as this again.”

“Ben And i Are Out there tO MAke

big movieS And BlOw Shit up.”

sarah vasQueZ

ARRYN ZECH

Mass Effect 3 multi-player In the series of Mass Effect games, everything you do has a consequence, good or bad. Depending on how you respond to questions, defeat enemies, or whom you befriend, your ending and the whole story could change. The effects even carry out through to the next game in the series.

Mass Effect 3 is due to release next year, and this time with multi-player co-op. What’s cool about this multi-player is that the rules of Mass Effect still apply. What you do in the co-op, will carry over into the game.

BioWare community coordinator Chris Priestly spoke on the ME3 forums about the multi-player side games where he also indicated that it could impact the single-player mode. If you’re successful in these side missions, Priestly stated that it will give players “an alternative method of achieving ultimate victory against the greatest threat mankind—and the entire galaxy—has ever faced.”

In the co-op mode, players will get to create their own characters from the many different variety of races (Krogons, Turians, Asari, etc.) and different classes as well. The main characters like Shepard will be reserved for the singleplayer modes though. Once you’ve created your character, you’ll team up with a group of friends and together, with the combined forces of your

weapons, abilities, and powers, you’ll kick the as of anyone that stands in your way.

Many other game-altering features are said to be in the game, but their identities are yet to be released.

Rayman returns I used to play Rayman back in the good ol’ days before Call of Duty and Halo, back when Lisa Frank and Ninja Turtles were a BFD. Now, after we’ve all had to sit around playing Raving Rabbids for a few years, Ubisoft is coming out with a brand spankin’ new Rayman title, Rayman Origins.

The game is set to come out on Nov. 15, and though that’s still about a month away, after waiting for years for a true Rayman platformer to come out, I felt it was a good time to bring it up.

Rayman Origins will be a 2D side-scrolling platformer, like the original game, complete with the Rayman character and his buddy Glowbox.

Also like the original game, each level will include the strange and interesting scenery that we’ve become so accustomed to with Rayman games.

And what would each level be without Rayman’s tried and true weird game soundtrack?

The game will include both single and multiplayer modes with a four-player support in co-op. In story mode, your goal is to, yet again, save the Glade of Dreams. Many of the same characters will be present, including the main antagonist, Mr. Dark.

Based off the gameplay that’s available to watch online, I’d say the game is going to be

pretty cool. It’s a nice break from the usual first person shooters that you just beat the shit out of everyone with. It’s a nice breath of funky-fresh air and I’m pretty excited about it coming out.

The game will be released for Wii, 3DS, Playstation Vita, Playstation 3, and Xbox 360, though there is talk that Ubisoft might create an iPad/iPhone version, which, in my humble opinion, would be epic.

The Bat is back Batman: Arkham City came out this week on the 18th, bringing the hopes and dreams of Batman: Arkham Asylum to life.

The game has a pretty high bar set for itself

when it follows a game like Arkham Asylum, but according to IGN writer, Greg Miller, it did go beyond expectations.

“When I finished Batman: Arkham City,” said Miller, “I immediately cataloged what I thought it did wrong… I found myself disappointed with the game. But the days rolled on and I ... only wanted to play more. The hundreds of things Batman: Arkham City nails outweighed my nitpicky problems. I realized Batman: Arkham City is a brilliant game.”

One thing that is pretty shitty about the game is its Catwoman missions.

The developers of the game, Rocksteady Studios, put heavy advertising on the Catwoman story that the game would have. Recently, though, it was revealed that anything Catwoman-related would only be DLC with a code needed to unlock it. The codes can be found in brand new games or can be bought online if you by a used copy. That’s a real bummer for those who were excited for that tight little cat-suit to be free game.

Even with the Catwoman conundrum, I feel like everyone who bought the game will love the game, and those who didn’t buy the game, should.

Arryn Zech

OkCupid. The atmosphere lends itself towards a more communal vibe than chat-roulette.

“One of the things that our patrons really love about the place is the ability to not get haggled; Lala’s isn’t a meat market,” said Greig. than the e-bus on a Friday night.

“It is one of the last places in Austin If stiff drinks, local color, where you can be a single and a place to cool your woman, sit down, have “I really don’t heels is what’s in order a drink, and not be for the night, then bothered by suitors.” think our patrons have Lala’s is the place At the same anything in common other where you should time, no matter than the fact that they all be whetting your how many drinks aren’t afraid to rub elbows. You whistle. you’ve had, you might be sharing a table with a “We keep the won’t be able to guy who just got out of prison, drink prices a little find any sharks on low to keep our the dance floor, just a car wash employee, or an regulars coming back,” everyone, from 21 to investment banker. You said bartender Bill Greig.

99, mingling and letting just never know.”

Likewise, the place their guard down. is quite low-key; it isn’t “I really don’t think our

Photo: Maxim

Lala’s little nugget

Lala’s keeps people coming back with their stiff drinks, Christmas lights, and old-school jukebox North Loop seems to be the invisible fence of fun for most students. However, there are a myriad of experiences, adventures, and wonderfully weird places on Burnet. Exotic light bulb stores, drive-in burger joints, more thrift stores than you can shake a roll of quarters at, and Lala’s.

Lala’s is a homey, laid back kind of place, a place where you might run into some tall tales or the stranger from the Big Lebowski might pull up a stool next to you and nod for a sarsaparilla.

Christmas lights perennially blink no matter what the season, the jukebox has no music that was produced after 1968, and the dance floor has more people on it—and is funkier—

patrons have anything in common other than the fact that they all aren’t afraid to rub elbows,” said Greig. “You might be sharing a table with a guy who just got out of prison, a carwash employee , or an investment banker.

You just never know.”

William M. Bass UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

21

Hanging on the telephone The confessions of a professional phone whore “Would you like to play a game?”

I was a few minutes into my “seven-minute special,” the shortest phone sex call Cameryn Moore’s company offers, and things were starting to feel a little like WarGames. Being an absolute phone sex virgin, I’d never understood how just the sound of someone’s voice was supposed to help me achieve orgasmic fulfillment. So far all we’d done was describe ourselves—big surprise: she was tall, blonde, with 36DD breasts—and I definitely wasn’t overcome with lustful frenzy. But I was committed to the experience, and so I replied, “Sure. Let’s play a game.”

Cameryn Moore started doing phone sex professionally several years ago when, like many Americans, the economic recession left her jobless and struggling to make ends meet. Though friends had told her for years she had a great voice , Moore said she’d always seen phone sex as being at odds with her feminism until financial need finally outweighed her reluctance. Then, after a sharp initial learning curve, she realized something surprising: She was really good at phone sex.

“It’s a very good convergence for two sets of skills that I have; that is to say, motor mouth and a gutter mind,” said Moore. “And I don’t think there is any other profession where I could get paid for working both of those so hard.”

Often “on-call” for 14 to 18 hours a day, Moore started spending a lot of time in her apartment, working on projects while waiting for strangers to call. Eventually the old adage, “Write what you know,” entered her work and Moore began

turning her unusual daily experiences into a “one-act play with frequent interruptions” called Phone Whore. (see sidebar for details) “Here’s how the game works: I’ll tell you three things that I enjoy sexually, and then you do the same. Then we’ll see if I can’t find something on your list to work with.”

Her list felt highly inspired by the fantasies of straight men. Apparently, in addition to having large breasts, she just loves deep throat and anal.

When my turn came, I listed off several sex acts far too personal to mention in a print publication.

She selected the first item on my list and said, “Let’s do this one, okay? I’ll tell you when you have about a minute left.”

For a generation that has grown up with endless Internet porn never more than a few mouse clicks away, phone sex might sound about as exciting as an oldfashioned radio drama.

But Moore is quick to point out, what she does isn’t porn, it’s sex work.

“It’s different from pornography because it’s customizable, but it’s different from other forms of sex work because you can do things with a phone sex operator you could not do with anybody,” said Moore. “I could sprout six tentacles and fuck you in all your orifices. I could end up doing three horses at once. I could be your mother.”

Because unlike porn, which, despite popular opinion, is actually limited, every human being contains their own limitless erotic imagination which is open to exploration, alone or with the helpful assistance of a phone sex professional.

“Anything is possible. Doesn’t matter if

“Doesn’t matter if it’s physically possible or legally advisable or ethically responsible.

In phone sex you could do it.”

22

October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

it’s physically possible or legally advisable or ethically responsible. In phone sex you could do it,” said Moore.

“I’m bent over your desk with my legs spread...”

From here on out, she pretty much talked while I listened. It was unusual to fantasize with somebody else’s voice in my head, but in many ways, it was a nice change of pace. When a stranger is giving you a guided tour of your own fantasy, complete with orgasmic sound effects, your brain can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

And like she said, anything is possible.

Of course, the fantasy Moore offers callers is very removed from the reality she lives in.

Phone Whore takes place in what constitutes a typical day for Moore, where she makes toast, drinks coffee, and continually gets interrupted by callers looking for sexual release. Though the title is shocking and a little absurd, Moore said the play is not a comedy but rather “a drama with funny bits.”

“It’s not meant to be like, ‘Look, here’s the true story of a phone sex operator,’” said Moore. “It definitely is a gateway for people to start thinking about their own notions of sex and what constitutes sex and what space do we inhabit in our own heads around sex and sexuality and taboo.

Devon Tincknell The New Movement, 1819 Rosewood Ave, Austin, on Tuesday, October 25.

Doors open at 9:30pm, and the show starts at 10; an artist talkback follows the one-hour show. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door.

Advance tickets are available online at www.brownpapertickets.com

Photos: Eli Watson

Lauren Bruno

Lauren and Anna

Blitzen Trapper

Suzanna Choffel

Holiday

The Giving Tree

Vanda the Panda UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

23

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The Drums Do you think you got back to that on the new record?

I think the new record is intrinsically personal and autobiographical, instead of our past songs that had more of a cinematic, escapist flavor. It feels good to be honest. It feels like we have our feet on the ground.

It feels like the songs have gotten more personal, when that’s usually the opposite of what you expect from a band getting more popular.

Was that intentional?

It felt like the only option, really. We couldn’t continue doing what we were doing. Through what we’ve been through as a band, I think it would’ve been pretty silly to be putting together hopeful little pop songs. We wanted to do something that reflected where we were.

The Drums were first passed around blogs a couple years ago on the backs of some irresistible singles and a few kitschy haircuts. Back then they admitted to be directly influenced by the rush of elementary euphoria when considering all of the possibilities of a preteen summer. Since then they’ve lost a member, squabbled in fights, and put out two very personal records about love, life, death, and the soul-crushing depression that comes with such things. They’ll be playing The Parish this Sunday, and we recently caught up with songwriter Johnny Pierce for a quick chat. The first thing he said to us was “Thank you very much for covering our show.” Despite the shifts in tone, The Drums have never lost their earnestness.

Around 2009, you guys were a big blog topic. Now a couple years later you have two full-lengths and seem a lot more established. Do you feel that way?

Yeah, when we started making music we were just doing it to please ourselves, and we’re still doing that but we never thought anyone would ever hear any of it. When things took off in such an intense way I don’t think we ever had the chance to figure things out before we were touring the world.

Photo:Daniela Riojas

Were you ready for it?

At first it felt like we were being thrown into the deep end of a pool before we knew how to swim, and the whole world was watching. Everything came across very surreal, but now we’ve had three records and we’ve been touring constantly. I think we’ve acclimated.

It seems like there was a bit of internal controversy.

Yeah, it was a real learning experience.

We’ve lost a member, we’ve been

So it was kind of like the record you needed to make?

In a way it was a survival-type thing. through arguments, and I think that’s Towards the end of the last album reflected in the new record. We’re past cycle there were a lot of songs that a lot of that now; we were playing we’re a band that live that just felt It’s weird to be minding your own doesn’t have heaps irrelevant to me. business and making and heaps of hype When they were simple pop songs in surrounding us. In written they your bedroom, and then were extremely interviews people realizing that everyone relevant are asking us less and on the planet not only very sincere, but about who cuts has an opinion about our hair and more them, but a very strong my nature is to about the music. move on after opinion about them.

I’ve finished Do you think the internal controversies something, I don’t want to dwell on were brought on by the scrutiny that something too much. I wanted to you found yourself under? write a personal album and be able to Yeah, it’s weird to be minding your own sing these songs for a very long time business and making simple pop songs in because they’re about things that I your bedroom, and then realizing that always will care about. everyone on the planet not only has an opinion about them, but a very strong Has that helped the live show? opinion about them. Some of it was good, It does. I think whether an audience some of it was bad. We really learned to digs it or not, sincerity is very important. tune it all out and get back to doing what Luke Winkie we wanted to do in the first place.

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

27

Wednesday

thursday

Halloween Burlesque Showcase

Block Pary: A Comedy Mixtape

@ Antone’s, 213 W 5th

@ The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood

While it’s not quite Halloween just yet, us Austinites like to turn everyone’s favorite holiday into a sprawling affair. No better way to start letting all of those demons out than a burlesque show. However, this ain’t your grandma’s burlesque show. It will also feature tarot readings, a zombie makeup station, and music by the Nematoads to bring all of the ghouls out.

Tickets: www.antones.net

Comedy open mics are things of inconsistency. Nevertheless, that isn’t a bad thing. Seeing people try new things, neophytes bomb, and occasionally glimpsing flashes of brilliance are what makes them so special. The New Movement’s open mic encompasses all of these things and more with their anything-goes format.

Expect chainsaw juggling, male reenactments of two girls one cup, and other sordid yet hilarious situations.

friday

Battles @ Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Rarely does a band’s name so aptly describe their music. Battles’ music surveys, appropriates and casts a range of different musical styles against themselves: jam, indie, math, hip-hop, and even world music don’t escape the these three gentlemen’s seamless weave of influences into their own special quilt. And even though they’ve lost one of their most essential members, their new album Gloss Drop proves that this monstrous music machine is still quite well-oiled.

Tickets: At the door

►►Also Worthy

Panic! At the Disco The Parish, 214 E 6th

The top events & shows in Austin this week

Free improv comedy

ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport

Hawthorne Heights Emo’s, 603 Red River

Danava

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Roo

Beerland, 711 Red River

Will bass 28

October 19, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

►►Also Worthy

Talib Kweli

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Pack of Wolves Red 7, 611 E 7th

Lupe Fiasco

Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces

’80s Dance Party

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

A Giant Dog

Beerland, 711 Red River

saturday

sunday

monday

St. Vincent @ ACL Live at the Moody Theatre, 310 W 2nd

Rising above the malaise of the rock landscape, St. Vincent’s unclassifiable take on the genre is replete with nods towards rock music history while, simultaneously, forging boldy ahead: future sounds of the present.

Tickets: www12.ticketingcentral.com

Mike Flanigin Trio @ Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

There is no better place to impress a date than a trip to the Continental Club. The place has more class than Miles Davis and a musical history that would take you weeks to read. Even better is its programming. Some of Austin’s best in honky-tonk, jazz, and rockabilly can be seen there multiple times a night. Mike Flanigin, on the B-3 organ, holds it down on this particular Saturday night. Martini sold separately.

Tickets: At the door

►►Also Worthy

TV Ghost

Beerland, 711 Red River

Slim Thug

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

DJ Kenya

Kung Fu Saloon, 510 Rio Grande

Brass Bed

Mohawk, 912 Red River

Manchester Orchestra Stubb’s, 601 Red River

Rayon Beach, John Wesley Coleman, Devin James Fry @ Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

There is no need to get on the doomed e-bus and head downtown to hear live music, it’s right in your backyard at the Hole in the Wall. Every Sunday in October the Wall has some of the dirtiest garage rock in Austin with John Welsey Coleman, Rayon Beach, and Devin James Fry. While the music might be nasty, Hole in the Wall’s food menu is anything but. The place has some of the best bar food that challenges all of our preconceptions about eating at a drinking establishment.

►►Also Worthy

The Drums

The Parish, 214 E 6th

Gardens

►►Also Worthy

Rock N Roll Karaoke Beerland, 711 Red River

Leo Rondeau

Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

Monday Night Mash

ColdTowne Theatre, 1803 Airport

tuesday

Mastodon @La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

Mastodon have been known to tear the face off of any innocent bystanders with their metal claws. Their new album The Hunter finds them heading in a more hard rock direction.

Tickets: www.lazonarosa.frontgatetickets.com/

Beerland, 711 Red River

The Escatones

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

TV at the Alamo: Breaking Bad Alamo Drafthouse, 1120 S Lamar

Cine-Sunday: Dead Alive

29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

►►Also Worthy

Deer Tick

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Tittie Bingo

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 19, 2011

29

► the liBrary

► mother egan’s

407 e 6th

715 w 6th

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$3 guinness

► maggie mae’s

► trudy’s

323 e 6th

409 w 30th

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$4.95 sangria ritas

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419 e 6th

300 e 6th

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317 e 6th

301 lavaca

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406 e 6th

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sunday Funday

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417 e 6th

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► the loCal

► Cuatros

midnight rodeo what else Can you say about a venue that’s only open three nights a week? While Midnight Rodeo may be a bit more than a stone’s throw away from campus the way good ol’ 6th Street is, its sphere of influence still reaches far enough for honkey-tonkers from all over the city to get their country fix week in and week out. Hell, they even designate a college night every Thursday for any thirsty Longhorn looking to whet their whistle and maybe play a game of pool or two.

Anywho, the bottom line to Midnight Rodeo is that it has an enormous dance floor, surprisingly cheap drinks, and very willing dance partners. Before you decide to dive in head first, however, for goodness sakes just learn how to two-step. You’ll thank me later.

Brian Bogart

► aCes lounge

2610 guadalupe

1004 w 24th

222 e 6th

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$2 tecates and modelo esp. $5 deer and Beer

$0.75 lonestar tallboys

► lavaCa st. Bar

► third Base

► PluCKers

405 lavaca st

1717 w 6th

2222 rio grande

Big Beer mondays. $6 25oz

$2 lonestar/Fireman/shiner

mother plucker mugs

► Blind Pig

► friends

► Chuggin’ monKey

317 e 6th

208 e 6th

219 e 6th

$2.50 wells/domestics

$2 vodka Bombs

$2 wells/domestics

307B West 5th Street www.besocantina.com

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