UWeekly Austin October 26, 2011

WIN$25

eveRy Week DetaIlS P24

THe independenT voice of uT ausTin

ocT 26, 2011

www.uweeklyausTin.com

vol. 3 issue 10

octoBer 26, 2011

004 Ut quidditch team plays in first game of the season

014 Why we are going to win the World Series

022 F*BoMB

costumes are for more than halloween

027 UWeekly sits down

with the cast and director of Searching for Sonny

Photo: texas quidditch

TEXAS QUIDDITCH TEAM PREPARES TO HOST HALLOWEEN EVENT, ATTEND QUIDDITCH WORLD CUP muGGle QuiddiTcH is sweeping off the pages of the Harry Potter Book series and through the University of Texas (UT) campus. In this reallife version of quidditch, game play has been adapted to play on the ground bringing the fictional sport to life.

As an officially sanctioned National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) sport and a member of the International Quidditch Association (IQA), the Texas Quidditch team is in its third year of existence and is comprised of four UT quidditch teams.

“There is the Gryffindor ‘varsity’ team that you have to try out for to get on to and that goes to other schools and plays tournaments with them,” said Texas Qudditch Treasurer Grace Worm. “Then there are what’s known as the ‘house teams.’ They are Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.”

Coming off a second place finish to Louisiana State University at a tournament in Houston this past weekend, Texas Quidditch is preparing to host a Harry Potter-themed Murder Mystery Party from 8 PM to 11 PM on Oct. 28.

“It’s like most murder mystery parties, where people get different characters and try and guess who committed a murder by interacting with each other and using clues,” said Worm, who is a co-planner for the event.

“In this party, though, the characters will be Harry Potter-related so we can show off our

obsession with everything Harry Potter.”

At the murder mystery party, attendees will be assigned a unique character to play. At first Worm was concerned that not enough people would be interested in attending.

“When my roommate and fellow varsity player and I decided to do this we thought we would have to bribe people or use torture devices to get even 20 people to attend, but within 24 hours of posting the Evite there were more than 30 people attending, and now the guest list totals over 55,” said Worm.

sport than anybody will believe until they see it or play it for themselves,” said Worm. “I go to other teams’ practices just to play it more because there is never such a thing as too much quidditch.”

Worm’s love for playing muggle quidditch began during her freshman year at UT. “I started playing first semester of my

“WE ARE NOT AT ALL WHAT ONE MIGHT IMAGINE OF A QUIDDITCH PLAYER AND THE SPORT IS WAY MOrE OF A SPOrT THAn AnyBODy WILL BELIEvE UNTIL THEY SEE IT OR PLAY IT FOR THEMSELVES.” RSVPing for the party closed on Oct. 23, but students can still join Texas Quidditch throughout the season to participate in muggle quidditch.

To join the team, add Texas Quidditch on Facebook and chat with the captains to join the house teams any time of the year, according to Worm.

“We are not at all what one might imagine of a quidditch player and the sport is way more of a

freshman year on Hufflepuff, but I wanted to do some traveling with the team, so my second semester I tried out for the varsity team (Gryffindor) and made it,” said Worm. “So I’ve been playing on varsity for two semesters now and I love it! I get to play teams from other schools, and this year varsity is going to the Quidditch World Cup on Nov. 12.”

The 2011 Quidditch World Cup is currently in its fifth year of existence and is an international muggle quidditch tournament sponsored by the IQA and will be taking place at Randall’s Island in New York City.

Featuring 100 teams from five different countries, this year’s world cup will be the first time teams from outside North America will compete in the Quidditch World Cup. In addition to the games, the world cup will be a two-day festival as well. Announcers will be improv comedians and a variety of entertainers.

Food and wizardry shops will take over the island with musical artists performing during breaks in game play.

Texas Quidditch is more than just getting the chance to bring to life the magical sport of quidditch, according to Worm.

“The many, many friends I’ve made through Quidditch and how accepting they are as a community [is what I like about Texas Quidditch],” said Worm. “Everyone is dorky together but also incredibly normal for running around with a broom between our legs.”

KarISSa roDrIgUez

10.27.11 for more details visit

UWeeklyAustin.com 4

October 26 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Just another exCuse to Dress in Drag NOT YOUR MAMA’S HALLOWEEN PARTY THe ausTin roundup, an organization dedicated to helping members of the LGBTQ community move from being addicts to being addicts in recovery, has partnered with Ballet Austin to bring you one of the most bitchin’ Halloween parties in town and, not to mention, a drag show.

Each spring, the Austin Roundup holds a large conference that supports lectures, workshops and other informative events in order to educate those who help gays and lesbians with alcoholism and other addictions.

In order to raise the funds for such a largescale event, five major fundraisers are held throughout the year. The latest one coming up is the annual Dragoween show. It’s much like a drag show but with a Halloween twist.

David Bravo of Dragoween describes the event has having started in rec rooms and church halls around the city over 12 years ago to one in which shows are annually sold out.

As a result, this year the company will hold two shows on the night of Oct. 30 in order to satisfy audience craving, but act now, as tickets are almost sold out.

“This year’s theme is Dead or Alive,” said Bravo.

The show will have everything from a group ensemble to a rendition of “Poker Face,” Dragoween style.

Not to mention a costume contest.

That’s right. Not only will you get to go to a world-class drag show, you can be a part of one too. As such, attendees are encouraged to dress in

costume, but it’s certainly not required. Due to the tight programming schedule, everyone in costume will be judged as they enter the door.

“The costume contest will be in the middle of the show,” said Bravo, “but judging will happen as you walk in the door when you walk in past the judges.” Prizes of all shapes and sizes will be awarded to the most creative, fabulous drag costume that shows for the night, but you won’t know what they are until you arrive.

Now don’t get lost in all the fun and excitement, this is still a fundraiser, and tipping the showgirls is highly encouraged.

“You can wad up money and throw it on the stage, or you can purchase Diva Dollars,” said Bravo.

A Diva Dollar is purchased on a credit card

it’s much like A Drag show but with A hAllOween twist.

6

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

and acts as real tips. Simply donate what you think you’re going to spend on tips for the night and charge it to your card. And don’t be shy with the zeros. As a people that is, perhaps wrongfully, known for addictions, compulsions and other health-jeopardizing aliments, now’s not the time to be cheap!

aManDa chaPPel

oCtoBer 30 8:30, 9:30 $15-100

stuDents in texas illegally are eligiBle for state aiD illeGal immiGranTs wHo do well in HiGH school are not only eligible for lower-cost, in-state tuition rates at Texas universities and colleges.

Thanks to legislation signed by Gov. Rick Perry in 2001, many are also receiving publicly funded grants to pay for their education.

The in-state tuition policy, which was broadened in 2005 and again signed by Perry, has become a major flashpoint in the 2012 presidential race. Perry has taken repeated fire from his conservative base — and from his chief rival, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney — for supporting the lower residency tuition rates for students in the country illegally. What isn’t as well known is that the very same law also allows some of these students to access the state’s limited amount of financial aid.

TEXAS Grants, a need-based grant program that covers tuition and fees at most institutions, is only available to Texas residents. Students unable to prove U.S. citizenship may establish residency if they graduated from a Texas high school, have lived in the state for three years before applying and sign an affidavit indicating their intent to apply for permanent residency status as soon as possible.

According to the Texas Higher Education Coordinating Board, which monitors the implementation of such legislation, the state distributed 2,156 TEXAS Grants in fiscal year 2010 to students who had established residency under those provisions, meaning many were very likely not in the United States legally. The total amount of the awards was approximately $7.8 million.

Two TEXAS Grant recipients who are not in the country legally shared their stories with the Tribune on Monday. One is a Texas A&M graduate who is now working in a restaurant because he can’t provide the documentation necessary for

an employer to hire him legally in his field of study, biomedical science.

The other is a recent graduate of Austin High School, the school Perry’s now-grown children attended. The student’s high school counselors described the student as a high achiever — a model student who had been accepted to numerous universities but had chosen a more affordable two-year college.

Now starting his first year at Austin Community College, the 18-year-old native of Mexico told the Tribune that he could not qualify for federal aid

remember it. I don’t know anything about it.”

The state scholarship money spent on students who are not in the country legally is not a significant percentage of the total amount allocated by the state. A total of 68,119 awards were distributed in fiscal 2010, at a total cost of $274.1 million. It’s not even a large portion of the total student population.

About 16,500 students signed affidavits in 2010 asserting they would apply for permanent residence status — out of a total of almost 1,400,000 students paying in-state tuition rates.

The Tribune contacted Perry’s office and his presidential campaign separately to ask whether he is aware the TEXAS Grants program benefits students who are illegal immigrants and whether he still agrees with the policy.

Late Monday evening, Perry spokeswoman Lucy Nashed sent the following statement: “Gov. Perry has worked to ensure TEXAS Grant recipients are college-ready. This session, he signed SB 28, which gives priority consideration for Texas Grants to students who have demonstrated the

citics nOte thAt the grAnt prOgrAm hAs been cut deeply And wOrry there isn’t enOugh mOney fOr All Of the citizens eligible fOr texAs grAnts. because of immigration status. So he filled out the Texas Application for State Financial Aid, a 16-page document that requires students to simply prove they have been a resident of Texas for at least three years before they can qualify to pay the in-state tuition rate.

The student told the Tribune he is receiving $1,300 in state aid, which will pay for about 70 percent of his education. The rest he earned in scholarships as a high school student. Brought to the United States at the age of six months, he plans to study business management so that he can run a restaurant. He said he reached that decision after seeing his father work for years in various kitchens.

“Some people are taking heat over undocumented immigrants. I guess I’m just thankful for Perry,” he said. “Most Republicans don’t understand my situation, that I really had no choice. I had no say in coming here. I’m not going to leave because I’ve never been to Mexico. I don’t

ability to do college-level work. Students paying in-state tuition rates while pursuing citizenship — those who have lived in Texas for three years, contributed to the tax base, and are subject to the same tuition rates as other Texas residents — paid $32.7 million in tuition and fees in FY 2010, more than four times the amount they received in Texas Grants.”

But critics note that the grant program has been cut deeply and worry there isn’t enough money for all of the citizens eligible for TEXAS Grants. Many students who are here legally would love to have a shot at the small portion currently going to students who are in the country illegally, the critics say.

“I believe that taxpayer-funded grants should be reserved solely for legal residents of this state,” said state Sen. Brian Birdwell, R-Granbury, a Tea Party conservative who serves as vice chairman of the Senate Higher Education Committee. “In a time when our state budget is tightly constrained

H T I W N 25 WI $ LY

UWEEK

Go to facebook.com/uweeklyaustin for chances to win!

and legal residents are already paying recordhigh tuition rates, I think that these taxpayer dollars should be directed toward our citizens, not illegal immigrants and the incentivization of unlawful conduct.”

The Immigration Reform Coalition of Texas, a statewide coalition of taxpayers, filed a lawsuit two years ago that seeks to prove it is unlawful to spend general revenue on TEXAS Grants without specifying that the law benefits illegal immigrants. The lawsuit is still pending in a Harris County court. Steve Smith, the group’s general counsel, said they have also filed a claim in federal court, but it has gone nowhere.

Smith called the scholarship money “one more inducement” for illegal immigrants to come to Texas.

Defenders of the program say it benefits academically successful students who are on the path to becoming productive members of a growing Texas economy — and who pay sales taxes that fund the very grants they are receiving.

“TEXAS Grants was and is designed to reward high-achieving students, period,” said state Sen. Rodney Ellis, D-Houston, the sponsor of the legislation that created the program. “I agree with the governor that these students are here, are building their lives here and will be a huge part of the future of Texas.”

While all the GOP candidates have touted their economic proposals, illegal immigration has been a big issue in the presidential race. In debates, press releases and advertisements, Perry and Romney have been trying to paint one another as too soft on illegal immigration.

After taking fire over the in-state tuition issue, Perry recently confronted Romney for hiring a lawn-care company that had hired illegal immigrants, and the Texas governor’s campaign passed around reports that the health care system developed under Romney in Massachusetts provided care to them. The Romney campaign has said he got rid of the lawn-care company and blamed his successor in the Massachusetts governor’s office for developing policies that allowed illegal immigrants to receive care there.

reeve haMIlton anD thanh tan TRIBUNE REPORTER JAY ROOT CONTRIBUTED TO THIS STORY. THIS ARTICLE ORIGINALLY APPEARED IN THE TEXAS TRIBUNE AT

Z R A T S R BA

if your face is circled in Bar Starz, you will win $25. Smile for the camera!

Dayplanner

aManDa chaPPel

eventS on or aroUnD caMPUS LiTeRaRy anD aRTS jouRnaL SeekS youR ShiT Oct 21-Dec 16 Yearning to be a published author? Or how about a well-known visual artist? Get your head out of the clouds and take that first step! Analecta, the university’s official literary and arts journal, is accepting submissions now.

analecta.ut@gmail.com

Publisher Michael Huereque

This is college, and you are all going through your “experimental” years. Instead of being Frankenstein for Halloween, try being a Dragenstein. C’mon, it’s for a good cause.

Ad Designer Terry Kennedy

RuSSian CRiMeS, RuSSian TiMeS Oct 26

aLL haLLoWS eve Oct 31 It’s Halloween! That magical time of year where you get to be anything you want to be, a slutty maid, Hercules, or a Mexican wrestler. But be careful! There are lots of ghouls and goblins roaming the streets this night and you don’t want to be one of them. Be safe, designate BRIAN BOGART a driver or call a cab if you plan on getting wasted.

DR. jekyLL anD MR. hyDe Oct 28 Calling all Geminis out there, this one’s for you! We all know what two-faced monsters you can be, so come watch this stage adaptation of the original. Who knows, you might learn a thing or two.

Winship Drama Building (WIN) $17-20 8-10 PM

Art Director Jessica Caraway

501 W 3rd St. $15-100 8:30-9:30 PM

In the film Brother/Brat, director Aleksey Balabanov depicts an innocent man pulled into a life of crime, or, as Russians call it, life.

Painter Hall (PAI 4.42) 7-9 PM

Account Executive David Avalos Artem “Art”Golovatiuk

DRagoWeen Oct 30

Editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve Photographers Elijah Watson Copy Editor Daniel J. Frimpter Campus Writers John Jarzemsky Amanda Chappel Luke Winkie

Yellow Cab: 452-9999 Lone Star Cab: 836-4900 Tipsy Taxi: 848-4553 9 PM- 2AM

Sports Writers Ryan Betori Brian Bogart Entertainment Writers William M. Bass Devon Tincknell Sarah Vasquez Karissa Rodriguez Brett Thorne

the sCheDule yoUr gUIDe to all thIngS BUrnt orange.

THurSDAy, OCT. 27

W Basketball

M Track

St. Edwards, Austin, Texas 7:00 PM

Big 12 Cross Country Championships, College Station, Texas 11:00 AM

FrIDAy, OCT. 28

Softball

W Track

Incarnate Word , Austin, Texas 6:30 PM

Big 12 Cross Country Championships, College Station, Texas 11:00 AM

W Soccer Texas A&M, Austin, Texas , 6:00 PM

W Swim & Dive Indiana, Michigan , Ann Arbor, Michigan 11:00 AM

M volleyball Iowa State, Austin, Texas 8:00 PM

M Swim & Dive Mansfield Invitational, Mansfield, Texas TBA

SATurDAy, OCT. 29

football

Kansas, Austin, Texas 6:00 PM

W Rowing Head of the Colorado, Austin, Texas All Day

M Swim & Dive Mansfield Invitational, Mansfield, Texas TBA

SunDAy, OCT. 30

Baseball

Texas State, Austin, Texas 1:00 PM

MOnDAy, OCT. 31

W golf

Betsy Rawles Longhorn Invitational, Austin, Texas All Day

BrIan Bogart

TuESDAy, nOv. 1

W golf

Betsy Rawles Longhorn Invitational, Austin, Texas All Day

Circulation Jeremey Tooker Intern Arryn Zech COnTACT 2608 East Sixth Street, Unit 3 Austin, TX 78702 O: 512–358–4149 uweeklyaustin.com info@uweeklyaustin.com PuBLISHEr Highbrow LLC ABOuT UWeekly Austin

UWeekly Austin is an independent publication and is not affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin. One free copy per person. Additional copies may be picked up at our office for .50 each.

Opinions expressed are those of the writers/authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the staff or publishers of UWeekly. Not liable for omissions, misprints, or typographical errors.

No part of this publication may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. © Copyright 2011 Highbrow, LLC

Opinion

That’s what she said.

Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

What qualities do you look for most in a guy?

Air It Out

Dear Bikers on Campus, How ya doin? It’s me, the guy who happens to be walking to class in the middle of

Speedway everyday with you and your bi-wheeled brethren coming at me every which way. The tragedy of the matter, however, is I only have eyes on one side of my head so I can never tell which way to move for my own safety with the sound of whirring bicycles offending every direction of my senses.

For what it’s worth, y’all aren’t even supposed to be biking on campus, because that is, in fact, a university rule that just doesn’t get enforced for the same reasons cops seem indifferent when it comes to tracking down my pot dealers: there’s simply too many of them and the crime just doesn’t seem all that serious. Well that may be so, but it only takes one dumbass biker (and I know that there are far more than just one of y’all who are dumbasses) to make a single mistake and bring an entire cluster of pedestrians scrambling for dear life. For goodness sakes just follow the street signs like you’re supposed to (for once) and maybe we can all live together in harmony...even on the 40 Acres

Sincerely, Petrified Pedestrian How to get us to actually print what you write.

1. Everything Anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto.

Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting.

3. Stay Specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t like about living in the dorms is less so.

4. Powerful Language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!”

5. To Whom It May Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.” Please send all Air It Out submissions to AirItOut@uweeklyaustin.com UWeekly reserves the right to edit submissions for content, anonymity, and space.

“Have to be funny. Preferably taller than me. I like blonde hair, blue eyes but it’s basically just the personality.”

“Have to be attractive for one, have to be nice. You have to be smart and have a future ahead of you, can’t be a bum who sits on your mother’s couch.” ­— Sarah Branhagan

“I would have to say someone with a big personality and funny, someone that is gentleman-esque, southern.”

“He has to make me laugh, he can’t be needy. He has to accept the fact that I’m gonna be a dancer and I’m not gonna make any money.” — Morgan Taylor

“They have to like ‘Arrested Development,’ preferably not wear fisherman shirts, and know that I’m funnier than them.” ­ Chrissy Shackelford —

“The intriguing quality I would look for is someone who could balance me out. The differences in that person helps to avoid monotony.” — Sammy Springer

— Britney Lee

­— Megan Roberson

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

9

Photo: ryan Betorics

louisiana lessons

longhorn fans CoulD take Cue from lsu supporters the feeling that Longhorn fans are also failing to rise to the occasion and make things better.

So when a buddy of mine from LSU called early last week to offer a ticket to the LSU vs.

Auburn game, I readily accepted despite the seven-hour commute. Baton Rouge, with its No. 1 LSU Tigers, is a place where football is as fun as it can be. I couldn’t resist. I was thirsty for some nearly forgotten taste of football glory, even if it meant going a state over and donning colors that aren’t nearly as alluring as burnt orange.

What I witnessed this weekend restored my faith in the greatness of college football. And although I hate to admit it, it looked very little like what I’ve been seeing in Austin lately.

Game day in Baton Rouge is a party. If you

replace the boobs with footballs it resembles a mini Mardi Gras. There is a mile stretch of tailgates and it’s entertaining to just walk through and watch people. And what did I glimpse? Fans that seemed more concerned with football than with fashion. Don’t get me wrong. There were still a lot of men in boots and a lot of good-looking girls in cute purple sundresses. But I also saw a sea of jerseys, athletic shorts, and goofy yellow pants with silly purple-checkered vests. The air had a tangible buzz (just like a lot of the tailgaters) and there was a general sense that

the game was what mattered. The chief concern of everyone was beating Auburn back to ‘Bama.

At Texas, one gets the impression that for some fans, it’s more important to be seen looking good than it is for the team to be looking good on the field. If nudity was the only thing that could secure a win for the Tigers, I think a whole lot of genitalia would be flopping around. Can I say the same thing about Texas?

Not at the moment.

The emphasis on football over fashion was refreshing, but even that paled in comparison

TUESDAYS 9AM + WEDNESDAY 7PM {45MINS}

i love THe universiTy of TeXas. And like any good Longhorn, I love University of Texas football. But let’s face it, for the past two seasons, watching the football team has been frustrating if not totally tragic. As the success of the football team has withered to the kernel of a distant memory, so too has the support and general enthusiasm of Longhorn fans. And it’s tough to blame us. At Texas, excellence is par for the course, and historically, in no place is this better exemplified than on the football field.

But I remember going to games during the Colt era, and frankly, aside from the winning record, what I miss most is the fun. Texas football just isn’t fun anymore, and although it’s in large part due to dearth of achievement, I can’t shake

to the sheer rowdiness and constant decibel volume of Tiger Stadium. DKR is a beautiful stadium; Tiger stadium is not. It looks as dated as a polka-dotted, one-piece women’s swimsuit.

But the woman in that swimsuit is one hell of a looker. Although Tiger Stadium holds about 10,000 less people than DKR, it’s usually close to twice as loud. It’s not that LSU fans are so much crazier; it’s just that the stadium set up is more conducive for support.

For one, all the students are put in one section.

Unlike the scattered Texas student section, this means the rowdiness is concentrated. It’s also firstcome-first-serve. All seats are GA, so the most intense fans will get the best seats because they’re willing to wait in line earlier. There also doesn’t seem to be as much room reserved for alumni, and it’s the students that are on top of the field. Lastly, hardly any seats are designated for the visiting team. Auburn orange was completely drowned out by purple and gold. Perhaps 1/25th of the stadium was Auburn fans and it wasn’t because no Auburn fans were willing to buy tickets.

What also struck me was the knowledge and

unison of the fans. It wasn’t uncommon to hear a southern belle call for a clipping call. Most notably, there’s a wealth of chants that LSU utilizes and it keeps everyone engaged. It’s not overkill like A&M, where you have to pat your head while rubbing your tummy every time a player ties their shoes. My personal favorite?

After going up by two TDs the students chant “Suck that tiger dick, bitch!” It’s not something I’d want my mother to hear, but I can’t deny that it felt pretty good to scream. So what’s the sum total of all this? A football team that is as jacked to play as the fans are to watch it do so.

Granted, it’s a lot easier to go nuts for a team that’s the best in the country, but still.

Although Texas hasn’t had much to cheer for lately, my brief visit to LSU has convinced me that Texas fans have to find the will to do it. After all, a football team is only as strong as its fans. In these dire times, it’s up to us to give Texas football the push that it perhaps can’t muster by itself. We may even be surprised at how far that push propels us.

If nudity was the only thing that could secure a win for the Tigers, I think a whole lot of genitalia would be flopping around.

Ryan Betori

The Highlight Reel Well, it’s officially become that time of the football season to begin discussing who will end up with the worst record in the NFL and ultimately win the Andrew Luck sweepstakes.

While Luck continues polishing his game in the college ranks, the Dolphins, Rams, and Colts are all chomping at the bit for the Stanford standout with each of their records at 0-7. Since it’s virtually a consensus among analysts that Luck is the biggest sure-thing coming out of college since Peyton Manning, Colts ownership is sure to be salivating at the opportunity to get Luck and Manning in the same locker room. The Rams, while an awful team, probably aren’t much of a factor here since they have their man under center in Sam Bradford. But don’t go counting out the Dolphins, who, at times, look even worse than the Colts. All in all, though, I’d say this is the Colt’s sweepstakes to lose, which could ultimately continue their legacy of banking on once-in-a-decade golden tickets. Dammit, why can’t the Cowboys just go 0-16 one year and purge all the ugliness that’s been haunting Big D for the last decade with a lottery ticket draft pick? Oh if only it were that easy...

Whatever your opinion may be of the polarizing figure that is Tim Tebow, you simply have to give the former Gator credit for guiding his team to victory by leading them to score 15 points in the final 2:44 in a game they were losing 15-0. The overtime

victory was a big statement for Denver fans who were eager to see their former first round pick in his first start of the year after former starter Kyle Orton finally got benched.

Although alleged “co-backup” Brady Quinn has been MIA all season amidst the chants of “Te-Bow! Te-Bow!,” people in Denver just don’t seem to give a shit as they’re simply happy to see their man win a game for them and confirm their hopes that he is, after all, an NFL-caliber quarterback.

Oklahoma lost to Texas Tech. They must suck or something.

As of printing, the Rangers and Cardinals are currently at 3-2 so here’s what I’m seeing: Rangers drop the next one at St. Louis, but ultimately pull out a 6-3 victory in game seven to win the World Series on the Cardinal’s turf. How did I do?

Colt McCoy led the Cleveland Browns to a rousing 6-3 victory over the Seahawks last Saturday, and while my use of the word “rousing” was sarcastic, folks in Cleveland are just glad to finally see a 3-3 start to the season instead of the usual 1-6 they’ve been accustomed to seeing at this point.

While there are a lot of factors at work in orchestrating Cleveland’s recent success, McCoy is certainly a big part of that equation and people in Cleveland seem more than happy to have him.

Brian Bogart

Photo: University of Texas at Austin Athletics

Beat them blue Texas needs confidence, Kansas provides perfect opportunity This Saturday, Texas needs to beat the blue out of the Kansas Jayhawks and then lift the bloody remnants for all of college football to see. Did I just go too far? Because a voice in my head is telling me I didn’t go far enough. Texas is like a fallen former boxing champ. It needs a bozo to beat up on so that it still knows that it can hit. And Kansas, with its 2-5 record and no conference wins, is the ideal bozo.

This game could not have come at a better time. After two tough losses to what are probably the two best teams in the conference, Texas needs to find its groove. This is especially true for freshman David Ash. Because he’s a freshman, Ash’s performances in the past two games can’t

have been ruined because they were thrown to the wolves too quickly.

But the Kansas defense is not a pack of wolves.

In fact, they are lambs. To be exact, they are the worst lambs in college football. They give up 50 ppg. Kansas presents a great opportunity

A lot of potentially good quarterbacks have been ruined because they were thrown to the wolves too quickly.

12

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

be considered total disappointments, but they certainly aren’t anywhere near confidenceinspiring. Against good teams from Oklahoma, Ash has had 4 INTs, only 1 TD and 246 passing yards. With that stat line, it’s hard to hail Ash as the QB of the future, though Longhorn fans are dying to do so if only to find a signal-caller to believe in.

But Ash is a freshman. And he’s a freshman that has had to spend as much time running away from defensive lineman as he has looking for receivers. Although Ash (and Texas fans) shouldn’t get too down on himself for the way he’s played, quarterback is a fragile position.

As we’ve seen with Garrett Gilbert, it’s as much about rhythm and confidence as it is about talent. A few bad games and that confidence can get so broken that you totally lose the ability to throw the ball to the guys on the right team. A lot of potentially good quarterbacks

for Ash to regain his confidence and to display his ability for the Texas faithful. If he can’t get it done here, it’s a real red flag.

Hopefully with the re-emergence of Ash, Jaxon Shipley and Mike Davis will also get some chances to shine. It’s got to be frustrating to have so much talent that isn’t being fully utilized because of the inability of Texas to establish a consistent passing game. Both players have been solid, but you know they’re itching to catch a few bombs. That should happen against Kansas.

Although Malcolm Brown has been stellar, this Saturday could be absolutely ridiculous. There’s no reason that Brown should need a confidence boost, but he too has to be anxious to carve a defense up when the holes are consistently there. The line will be able to make that happen against Kansas. Hell, they better. And the line may be the only unit that needs the chance to

tear somebody up as much as David Ash does.

On the other side of the ball, it should be much of the same story. Although Kansas’ offense isn’t nearly as bad as their defense, it’s still pretty ugly. They’re ranked 49th overall, which is a huge drop-off from Oklahoma and OSU, two of the more explosive teams in the country. Against OSU, despite the struggles of the passing game, it was Texas’ run defense that shot itself in the foot. On two separate plays an OSU running back trotted untouched straight down the throat of the defense for 50+ yard touchdowns. Against Kansas, that simply cannot happen. Although the Jayhawks don’t have much, what they do have is a solid rushing attack. Behind the legs of their two young running backs, James Sims and Darrian Miller, Kansas is averaging 188 yards a game (ranked 30th in the country). If Texas’ D, in particular its linebackers, fall asleep like they did on a few plays against OSU, the Longhorns may have to suffer the embarrassment of putting a big “L” next to the name of the worst team in the Big 12.

But that won’t occur. Mack and Co. know what’s on the line. If the team doesn’t get a win Saturday, every powerful booster will be calling for heads. This season is no longer about making it to a major BCS bowl, but it is about building the confidence of a young squad. As long as Texas comes out focused, Saturday will be a step in that direction.

Ryan Betori

Fantasy football

Fantasy update How to handle the waiver wire for week eight We’re just a hair away from the halfway point of the NFL season. For fantasy owners it’s a dangerous territory. There’s not the excitement of the beginning of the season or the tangible rewards of fantasy playoffs so the faint of heart may start dropping off.

But don’t slip up. One week you’re not checking the waiver wire, the next you’re starting an injured quarterback. It’s a slippery slope indeed. But here’s a fantasy guide for week 8 to keep you from falling.

Pickup/Play Christian Ponder, QB Vikings: The Donovan McNabb era in Minnesota was short-lived and ugly. Ponder, a rookie, is now the quarterback of the future for the Vikings and in his first start on Sunday he played like it. Against divisional rival and current NFL juggernaut the Green Bay Packers, Ponder showed a lot of poise. Although he threw two picks, he almost led the dismal Vikings to a win (final score: 33-27 Packers). More importantly

and there’s isn’t much consistency as to which one he picks. He started the year off pretty well, but then his production dropped dramatically in weeks four and five. But since McNabb has been nabbed for poor play, Jenkins has been excelling.

This was especially true against the Packers, when he had 111 yards and a TD off three catches. Jenkins is Ponder’s guy, and since Ponder is now the Vikings’ guy, Jenkins is looking all the better. Pick him up and play him in week 8 and see what happens. You’ll like the outcome.

Ryan Torain, RB Washington Redskins: Under normal circumstances, Torain would never be a hot name on the waiver wire. In the past two weeks he’s had 12 carries for 17 yards. That’s about as exciting as Monday Night Bingo.

But then Tim Hightower, the Redskins’ starting RB, had his ACL torn like a Christmas present on Sunday and he’ll

Jenkins is Ponder’s guy, and since Ponder is now the Vikings’ guy, Jenkins is looking all the better. for fantasy owners, he managed to launch 2 TD’s and collect over 200 passing yards. The performance isn’t a fluke. Last week, Ponder was very solid in his limited time against the Bears. Granted, neither the Bears nor Packers have a very formidable pass defense, but the Vikings’ next opponent, the Panthers, are also a middle-of-the-road defense. Ponder showed some good glimpses, and with his football IQ he’s only going to improve. Pick him up and you’ve got yourself a good backup.

be out for the season. That means Torain will be the man. Although Torain hasn’t been brilliant, he has had moments. He’s only played in three games this season, and in one of them, he rushed for 135 yards and a TD. The boy can play. And now he’ll finally get the chance to do so. He’s a good add, especially for bye weeks.

isn’t cutting it. He hasn’t rushed for more than 38 yards all season. In ESPN standard leagues, he’s never had less than five fantasy points in the majority of his games. With the young Shonn Greene continuing to improve, LT is going to be seeing very few touches. It was a good run LaDainian, but the fat lady has sung. Drop him.

Drop/Bench

Willis McGahee, RB Denver Broncos:

Michael Jenkins, WR Vikings:

LaDainian Tomlinson, RB New York Jets:

How strange. Recommend a QB and you end up recommending a wide receiver from the same team. Jenkins is a pretty up-and-down receiver. He’s either going big or going home

It hurts my heart to say this, but LT has just about lost it. He’s a class act and will be a Hall of Famer, but the cold world of fantasy football is all about numbers. And LT just

Another casualty to injury. Against the Dolphins Sunday McGahee broke his hand and he’s going to be out for two to three weeks. That alone could be enough to drop him. But even when he comes back his production is going to be majorly cut into

because of the emergence of Tim Tebow. In goal line situations it will be Tebow running the ball in for TDs, not McGahee. It’s a real shame because McGahee was having a hell of a fantasy season. But hey, cold world no blanket. Drop him.

Denarius Moore, WR Raiders: Moore absolutely exploded in week two against the Bills. And since then? He’s done absolutely nothing. A classic case of fantasy bait. In the case you were still holding onto Moore in the hope that he’d do it again, it’s officially time to cut your losses. It’s simply not happening. Drop him.

Ryan Betori UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

13

Photo: Red3biggs

Put a ring on it Why the Texas Rangers will win the World Series Game five of the World Series ended on a dropped third strike. Closer Neftali Feliz caught Lance Berkman swinging, but catcher Mike Napoli dropped the pitch. Napoli then ran the ball down, which had rolled nearly all the way to first base, and gave an underhand toss to the first baseman for the gameending out.

The play was the perfect metaphor for the series. It’s been strange. It’s been sloppy and head-scratching at times, but above all else, it’s been exhilarating. And in large part due to the efforts of Napoli, the Rangers are right where they should be: heading back to St. Louis in the driver’s seat.

In fact, it’s right where they have to be. Had the Rangers not won game five at home the series would be over. The Cardinals shouldn’t even be in the playoffs, and that’s what makes them so scary. The boys in red are smoking hot. They’re on a roll, and as a result, it would’ve been an insurmountable task to beat them two games in a row at home.

But the Rangers don’t have to do that. They just need to squeeze out one game. And for that reason, it’s better to be a Rangers fan right now than it is to be a Cards fan. A championship is on the horizon. Believe in the claw. Here’s why:

Talent + Momentum From top to bottom, the Rangers are the better squad. Records get thrown out the window in October, but talent does not. In a seven-game series with everything riding on the line, the better team usually wins.

Although the Cardinals are hot, a lot of wind was taken out of their sails with the game five loss. The Rangers, the team with more depth, are now also the team with the momentum.

The momentum is only intensified by the

14

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

way the Rangers won game five: a two-run double in the 8th. Sorry St. Louis.

Converting when it counts What has most separated the Rangers from the Cardinals has been the Rangers’ ability to get runners home when they’re in scoring position. In game five, the Cardinals left a lot of runners on the bags (I can remember the Rangers escaping two bases-loaded jams). You simply can’t win by doing that. In comparison, Texas has been able to convert when it has had to. Example: Mike Napoli.

he looked like he was at batting practice.

Although the final score was a lopsided 16-7, the Rangers were in the game until Pujols decided to be Babe Ruth. You’re simply not going to beat a team when their best player has three home runs and accounts for six total runs. If not for Pujols’ uncanny explosion, the Rangers may very well already have their first World Series ring.

But what’s done is done and the Rangers have had to respect the fact that Pujols, the best hitter of our generation, is capable of single-handedly dismantling a team. And

In comparison, Texas has been able to convert when it has had to. Example: Mike Napoli. OR The Rangers have two games to win one game. The Cardinals, on the other hand, have two games not to lose one game. The math? Texas Rangers, 2011 World Series Champions.

Containing Pujols What Albert Pujols did in game three was more than historic; it was absolutely disgusting. On the biggest stage in baseball

the approach they’ve taken has worked. With their south paw stud Derek Holland on the mound, the Rangers went right at Pujols.

Struggling against the lefty, Pujols went 0-4.

But in game five, with the weaker C.J. Wilson on the mound, the Rangers intentionally walked Pujols twice. It prevented him from getting in his rhythm as a hitter and it minimized the harm he could do. With this flexible approach the Rangers have found a way to contain Pujols.

Experience Most of the Rangers lineup was a part of the World Series loss last year. Not only do they know the bitter taste of defeat, more importantly, they also know how to approach the series. Although the Cardinals still have some players from their 2006 World Series team, the team is much farther removed from that experience. The playoffs are grueling, but the Rangers have been here before so they know exactly what it takes.

Math The last reason the Rangers will win is the simplest reason of all. The Rangers have two games to win one game. The Cardinals, on the other hand, have two games not to lose one game. The math? Texas Rangers, 2011 World Series Champions.

Ryan Betori

Photo: Bellator

this week in face punchin’

Bantamweights Vila and Dantas book Bellator finale fight Bellator 55 took place in Yuma, Arizona over the weekend, and bantamweights Alexis Vila and Eduardo Dantas booked their meeting in the tournament finale next month with split decision victories in the semifinals at the event. Vila earned a split decision over Marcos Galvao, and Dantas took the decision over former tournament finalist Ed West. The winner of the Vila-Dantas matchup will receive a title shot against current Bellator bantamweight champion Zach Makovsky.

Light heavyweight champion Christian M’Pumbu became the first Bellator fighter to lose a non-title “super fight” in 13 bouts, as he dropped a unanimous decision to veteran fighter Travis Wiuff at the event. M’Pumbu still holds the title (Bellator title shots are only earned by tournament champions), but Wiuff will likely get the chance to fight his way back to a title shot as he is likely to be included in the next Bellator light heavyweight tournament. Top lightweight prospect Ricardo Tirloni also made his Bellator debut with a victory at the event.

UFC welterweight champion Georges StPierre is out of the UFC 137 headliner this weekend with an injury, where he was set to defend his title against top contender Carlos Condit. The main event will now feature the UFC return of former Strikeforce welterweight champion Nick Diaz, as he is set to take on former UFC lightweight and welterweight champion B.J. Penn in the headliner.

There was controversy on “The Ultimate

Fighter 14” last week, as featherweight Akira Corassani earned his spot in the tournament’s semifinals after a decision victory over Dustin Neace. The controversy came when it appeared as though Corassani may have tapped in the first round when Neace had a kneebar locked in. But the referee didn’t stop the bout, and Corassani changed the momentum by capitalizing and turning the tide when Neace released the hold. The final featherweight quarterfinal will take place on tonight’s episode, as Team Bisping’s Diego Brandao will take on Team Miller’s Steven Siler. One of the two remaining bantamweight quarterfinals will also take place.

Zuffa – which owns both the UFC and Strikeforce – is preparing for a whirlwind end to the year, as the company has fight cards scheduled each nearly every weekend for the remainder of the year with the exception of the Thanksgiving and Christmas weekends.

Mark your calendars: • It all kicks off this weekend with UFC 137 on Pay-per-view, where Nick Diaz will face B.J. Penn in the welterweight main event to determine the likely top contender for Georges St-Pierre’s title. Heavyweights Matt Mitrione and Cheick Kongo will both also look to put themselves in title contention with a win in the co-main event.

• One week later on Nov. 5 on Spike TV, UFC 138 will take place in Birmingham, England with middleweights Chris Leben and Mark

Munoz looking to creep into title contention.

• N ov. 12 could be the biggest day in UFC history, as the organization is set to make its network TV debut with “UFC on FOX 1,” where Cain Velasquez will defend his heavyweight title against No. 1 contender Junior Dos Santos.

• T he following Friday, the 20 th installment of the Strikeforce Challengers series will air on Showtime, with middleweights Antwain Britt and Lumumba Sayers squaring off in the main event.

• T he following day on Nov. 19, the UFC makes its debut in San Jose with UFC 139. Former Strikeforce light heavyweight champion Dan Henderson will make his return to the UFC as he takes on former UFC champion Mauricio “Shogun” Rua in the headliner.

Former Strikeforce middleweight Cung Le will also make his UFC debut against the legendary Wanderlei Silva.

• T he UFC will kick off December with “The Ultimate Fighter 14” Finale, where the finals of the bantamweight and featherweight tournaments will be decided, and coaches Michael Bisping and Jason “Mayhem” Miller will also square off.

• O ne week later, UFC 140 will take place in Toronto, where light heavyweight champion Jon Jones will defend his title against former champion Lyoto Machida.

• Dec. 17 will see the last Strikeforce event of the year, as lightweight champion Gilbert Melendez will defend his title against Jorge Masvidal.

• And finally, the UFC will close out the year on Dec. 30 with a rare Friday event as heavyweights Brock Lesnar and Alistair Overeem square off at UFC 141. Lesnar, the former UFC champion, and Overeem, the former Strikeforce champion who will be making his UFC debut, will likely be fighting for a title shot.

David McKinney

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

15

halloween DeBauChery

becAuse nObOdy likes A clichÉ sluTTy Halloween cosTumes can be pretty awesome if they’re done right. Slutty nurse, slutty police officer, and slutty firefighter are all passé. The goal is to give your man a boner he’s not comfortable with, reach deep into the psyche and reconfigure something he’s taken for granted into something he’s getting flustered about. Here are some less obvious sexy costumes.

ronalD mCDonalD The quickest way to a man’s heart is through a paved-over childhood memory. Make him turned on by the same clown who gave a speech at his elementary school. Easy money for redhead fetishists.

BuZZ lightyear

from looking good! Throw caution to the wind and show up at the party with the vapor-tight, heavy polyvinyl chloride rubber cut just above the thigh. Who needs nuclear resistance when you’ve got sex appeal?

20th Century philosopher Ever wonder what Ayn Rand looked like when she was ready to hit the club? Me neither! But that doesn’t mean everyone won’t be turned on when you’re tearing up the dance floor, as long as your sticking to highly regulated objectivist principles.

fOrget sexy cAts, i wAnt tO see nOthing but sexy kangaroos this yeAr.

anglerfish

Slutty space cadets are hot, but a slutty space cadet in the spirit of one of the most recognizable characters of the 21st century? Now that hits deep.

Just think of all the things you could do with the retractable wings!

This would be a feat. Do you have enough inherent looks to make the worst, most horrific-looking beast in God’s kingdom look completely bodacious? Probably not, but I’m sure you could find a use with those teeth.

nun

uweekly issue

Cause interfaith breakdowns and probably get yelled at by a lot of old people as you cruise around campus in your mini-skirted nun costume. For bonus points, bust out a ruler when the guys get a little too handsy.

Seriously if anyone does this, let us know.

We’ll hire you.

haZmat suit Potential for serious radiation can’t stop you

any niCktoons CharaCter If you go to the right websites, you’ll learn that there’s a vast market of individuals who actually spend money to watch their childhood

FINE & FORM FITTING ITALIAN CLOTHING 2815c Guadalupe St. Austin Open 7 days a week

16

October 26 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

cartoon character favorites have sex.

Make some poor, reclusive soul’s dream come true as you recreate it in real life!

a DuDe If you could pull off universal androgynous attraction while maintaining an element of sluttiness, you’ll have a lot of red-blooded frat boys feeling very, very confused about themselves. If you’re out to rile up doubt in misguided traditional values, this is the way to go.

kangaroo I’ll refrain from making any obvious pouch jokes, but seriously, isn’t this one kind of obvious? There are so many ways to make a kangaroo slutty.

Forget sexy cats, I want to see nothing but sexy kangaroos this year.

worlD of warCraft aVatar I hang a World of Warcraft poster over my bed because I want to make sure girls know what they’re getting into. If you want to meet cool guys like me, dressing up as a Night Elf is the perfect costume.

repuBliCan You know what turns me on?

Exposed bra straps and fiscal responsibility.

Misrepresent a prudish demographic and show the world the real reason they keep gaining power.

A few ideAs On hOw tO mAke yOur 31st AwesOme forGeT Trick or TreaTinG; college-age Halloween is truly the pinnacle of the holiday.

Combining slutty, fetishy costumes, near-limitless alcohol supplies and good old-fashioned horn-dogginess is a precarious, volatile and potentially amazing combination! Frankly, there’s so much stuff going on around the city around Halloween, it can get a little intimidating, so we at UWeekly have put together a guide highlighting some of the more offbeat diversions.

WEST CAMPuS If you have never witnessed West Campus at peak Halloween time, it might be worth witnessing just for the spectacle. Thousands (literally thousands) of irresponsibly drunk undergrads wandering around sidewalks and asphalt deliriously navigating to the

founDing father There’s probably a huge demographic for powdered-wig fetishists that we don’t even know about. Every guy at UT secretly wants to slow-dance with Alexander Hamilton, so Alexander Hamilton with a nice rack is beyond even our wildest dreams.

neutron star A highly dense post-supernova heavenly body rapidly pulsating X-rays and radio waves from the edges of the galaxy? I’m turned on even without the thigh-high boots.

lUKe WInKIe

austin piZZa garDen next giant neon frat party is kind of a weekly thing, but when they’re all dressed in costumes it’s even better. It’s impossible to ever recommend West Campus, but if you’re at the end of your night and need something to giggle at, it’s a pretty good call.

Seeing kids who have no right getting laid spit game to sorority girls behind Batman masks is one of the greatest attractions of Halloween on campus.

their own jokes and bullshitting with perfectly nice suburban housewives? Well, now it’s your chance to be that asshole! Pack up the truck, buy a payload of Keystones, and hit the outskirts! Yell interesting new four-letter words to the 1st-graders as you blearily stumble from one house to the next. Bonus points if you end up flirting with one of your former teachers.

We don’t know if it is just too many anchovies or for real, but Austin Pizza Garden patrons have seen their fair share of the paranormal. The manager has seen silverware fly across the room and the patrons have reported faces appearing and disappearing in the walls. I heard Slimer likes pizza.

SHOWS

GrOWInG THE FuCK uP

Live music around Halloween is always a fair bet for debauchery. In 2010, Die Antwoord raged through a spooky La Zona Rosa with predictably silly results. This year we’ve got joke-rap pranksters Das Racist and Danny Brown taking over Emo’s East, and the gothy art-popper Zola Jesus stopping through Mohawk. Both of these acts are the type to wear a costume on stage which is always a justifying factor. It also gives you the opportunity to spot all the silly hipster costumes; I spotted at least three Hunter S. Thompsons last year.

Here’s an idea: Forget the debauchery, the alcohol, the abusing of childhood traditions, or the costumes. Call up a nice girl, drive to the outskirts of town, buy her appetizers and an entrée at Applebees and split a sundae. Give her a goodnight kiss, and when your head hits the pillow, take solace in the knowledge that you don’t have to worry about hangovers, or esoteric STDS, or whether that Cowgirl you kissed was actually a Cowboy. Wake up the next morning with the new-found confidence that your ego or self-esteem is not determined by whether or not you went to the best parties the night before.

Driskill hotel

TrICK-Or-TrEATInG Remember when you were 12 and going door-to-door on Halloween while scoffing at the belligerent trio of older bros laughing at

lUKe WInKIe

have also reported seeing strange figures in chairs and in windows, and they only purportedly had one drink.

JaCoB’s hill According to lore, a dad killed his two children on this bridge just east of I-35. Putting your car in neutral, the ghost of the two children will push your car across the bridge in order to help you flee from their homicidal father. Or it could just be the same person pushing the cursor on your Ouija board, who knows.

“One Of Austin’s mOst nOted hAunted plAces outsiDe of riCk perry’s unDerpants, the driskill will find A wAy tO scAre even the mOst seAsOned hAunted hOuse Attendee.”

One of Austin’s most noted haunted places outside of Rick Perry’s underpants, the Driskill will find a way to scare even the most seasoned haunted house attendee. Just head up to the third floor and check out the painting of the little girl holding flowers. Patrons have all reported strange sensations, not in their underpants, taking them over when staring at this painting, causing themselves to be unbalanced for the next couple of hours. People

treasury Department liBrary

Quite possibly the scariest and most boring place in Austin is the treasury department library.

Employees have reported seeing chairs move without explanation and have heard their names being called even though no one is present.

WIllIaM BaSS

uweekly uncOvers, And cOvers, sOme Of Austin’s mOst hAunted plAces around the park area or just trying to get in on the free coffee samples.

Photo: eli Watson

save for THe men’s BaTHroom at the Emo’s on Red River, Austin doesn’t get a lot of press for being haunted. However, there are some quite eerie places in this sleepy town, and you don’t have to pay twenty dollars to run through a haunted house to have your hair raised by them. Our paranormal hunters at UWeekly have assembled a list of some the most fear-inducing places in Travis County.

Central market Outside of the scary prices, Central Market can be a frightening place: strange un-attended children running around, a confounding bulk section, and pastries that have been known to move when eyes are averted. Seriously though, Central Market was built on land that used to belong to the Austin State Hospital which was pretty much an insane asylum when it was constructed in 1857. Keep an eye out for insane and tortured souls roaming UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

17

Images: Krista Delarosa

frock on vinTaGe has thrown it’s authentic vintage hat into the ring of Austin’s myriad thrift stores. The shop, which opened on Oct. 15, is located at 3016 Guadalupe, across the street from the Wheatsville Co-op.

Frock On’s owner, Liz Ashabranner, said the prices and authentic vintage wear are what set her shop apart from Austin’s laundry list of other fedora and flapper dress-filled stores.

“For the most part, it’s all true vintage,” said Ashabranner. “It’s a really wide range of styles. I’m trying to bring the best of what everyone does into one space. It’s not just bohemian or just the mod style or the ’50s and ’60s cocktail dresses. I have all of that.”

Ashabranner spent the last seven years in Houston working at the Houston Museum of Fine Arts. She decided to move to Austin in January to be closer to her fiance. For a time, she thought of opening a commercial art gallery but decided the time and place were not right for one.

Ashabranner said, after

thinking long and hard about what she really wanted to do, she found herself in the middle of planning how she wanted to open her own store.

“It kind of started out as, ‘Wouldn’t it be cool?’” said Ashabranner. “And then before I knew it, I was taking the steps to make it happen and then all of a sudden I was like, ‘I’m really opening this store, aren’t I?’” In keeping with the fast pace, Ashabranner

said the store’s grand opening on the 15th was a blur. The floors were installed on the 13th, the merchandise was brought in on the 14th and the opening was the next day.

Racks and racks of merchandise sit in the middle of the space under the exposed piping that hangs over head. The walls are decorated with various trinkets and pieces of art.

Ashabranner said her background in art played a huge role in how she decorated the space.

Austin artist Joe Swec created the huge mural made of different fabric patterns that occupies the entire wall behind the cash register.

Frock On will also offer alterations from Jen Delk on Fridays and Saturdays. Delk has been

playing with fabrics and garments since she began working in costuming for her high school theater department. In college she became an avid swing dancer and would alter clothes to fit with the chronology of her new hobby. Delk began lending her talents out to other stores at the start of 2011 when she went to work for Amelia’s RetroVogue. Her new gig with Frock On will be the first time she has played the role of in-store seamstress.

“Between my mom, the Internet and a whole lot of books, I learned to sew,” said

“my friend AlwAys JOkes AbOut this. she sAys, ‘sOme peOple see deAd peOple, but yOu see Dresses in other Dresses.’”

Delk. “I’m excited about getting to work with other people.”

Ashabranner said she was amazed at the things she has seen Delk do with the most unsightly clothes.

Ashabranner said she once watched Delk turn a muumuu into a stylish tank top in a matter of minutes.

“My friend always jokes about this,” said Delk. “She says, ‘Some people see dead people, but you see dresses in other dresses,’” The store will also feature a few different daily specials throughout the week. On Tuesdays, men’s pearl snaps will be buy one get one free, Thursdays will have a happy hour from 4 to 7 with wine and hors d’oeuvres and Saturdays will feature a $2 bin of clothes.

18

October 26 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

BRETT THORNE

the

bAt tle Of the slut t y halloween Costumes

THIS WEEK On vErSuS we get topical with the discussion of slutty Halloween costumes. Are they funny, friendly and flirty? Or do they reek of desperation, daddy-issues and a bit of nymphomania?

Luke Winkie takes his recorder to a themed party in north Campus to find out.

LUKE WINKIE

if yOu see a 15-year-olD girl in A slutty hAllOween cOstume is this A pOsitive Or A negAtive thing?

• It’s good that girls are learning young that their bodies are more important than their personalities. –Derrick Singleton

• I was watching Netflix at home on Halloween when I was 15. Dracula 2000 was a good movie. –Tanya Brassie, History • Whenever I see a girl on Halloween that’s wearing a slutty costume I just assume she’s 18. If you’re 15 you should dress like a My Little Pony, not a nurse. Because I’ll want to fuck you! –David Howe, RTF

• I’d like to tell her about Josiah 3:6 that says the way to the Lord is through the Golden Path… yeah I’d definitely piss on her, but I’d also like to bring her over to Jesus Christ. –Omar Richardson, Linguistics

• Jailbait is a really serious problem in this country that needs to be solved! –Jordan Willis, RTF

whAt is yOur iDeal slutty hAllOween cOstume?

• I’d like to see a slutty version of Daniel Day-Lewis’ son from There Will Be Blood. –David Howe

• Slutty slut –Leif Steenson, RTF

• Maybe like a slutty female space cadet? –Jordan Willis

• Me. Butt-ass naked. –Travis Travis Bubenik, English

“i’d like tO see A slutty versiOn Of Daniel Day-lewis’ son frOm THERE WILL BE BLOOD.” shOuld slutty cOstumes Be aDopteD tO Other hOlidAys? • I wore a slutty “good to see you, it’s your birthday!” costume last year.

–Colton Brassie

• How about don’t dress slutty ever? Only dress slutty if you want to be fucked by a random person. –David Howe

• Slutty Thanksgiving costumes would truly embody the Native American prostitution rings. –Samuel Lester, Business Economics • I think other religions deserve slutty costumes, like maybe a slutty Mrs. Santa Claus. –Omar Richardson

NFL SUNDAY HEADQUARTERS COMPLIMENTARY BUFFET FROM 11AM-12:30PM

$3 16 oz TAL

L BOYS

$5 BLOODY MARYS • I just hate everyone and don’t want to dress up ever. Who am I trying to impress? Nobody. –Jordan Willis

• Maybe we could expand it to slutty Labor Day costumes, slutty Memorial Day costumes, whatever brings the troops home! –Alex Chavez, Advertising

wOuld yOu be disAppOinted if yOu met yOur female frienDs On hAllOween And they were dressed slutty?

• I’d like to think I associate myself with better women, but then again, I have no stacked female friends. Maybe I’m just jealous. –Alex Chavez • Nah, I’d be like, “Godspeed, do what you do.” Unless they didn’t want to have sex with me. Then I’d be like, “Why are you here” –Travis Bubenik

• I’d never have a female friend period, to have a female friend would be to ‘lie’ with my female friend unless we had been married…—Hey Mi how’s it going? It’s so good to have you as a friend.—Don’t worry I totally banged her. –Omar Richardson

$3.25 PREMIU

M DRAFT

$2.75 DOMESTIC DRAFT 422 congress ave sw corner 5th and congress www.ShinersSaloon.com

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

19

with

john jarzemsky

Social networking users continue to respond to momentous historical events with sneering irony In a year that has seen a series of uprisings in the Arab world, a lethal natural disaster in Japan, and the death of one generation’s most brilliant minds, it should perhaps come as no surprise that the killing of deposed Libyan despot Muammar Gaddafi was met with lighthearted quips and irreverent references to his physical appearance.

Gaddafi (whose iron-fisted, 41-year reign of power left untold thousands of Libyan men, women and children impoverished, oppressed and either dead or fearing for their lives) was described in numerous tweets, Facebook updates, and YouTube comments as bearing a striking resemblance to Gene Simmons, Carlos Santana, and Obama emerged early this morning to issue Bob Dylan, thus giving a moment of solace a statement, in which he confirmed that all and solemnity to the innocent civilians who American troops in Iraq would were brutally tortured under his autocratic be back on US soil by year’s rule for nearly half a century. The end. When asked for announcement and parody of comment, unknown Gaddafi’s death comes a little “I mean, sources quoted over two weeks after a nearly she actually said a the President as identical treatment was woman came up to saying “I mean, given to technological her after a debate I’ve got to do visionary Steve Jobs, and told her vaccines something to proving once and for all made her get people’s that social networking attention.

We has allowed individuals ,” one might have all over the world to deal young lady recounted Michelle Bachmann with events of staggering tearfully. in the White House importance in an appropriate next year, for Christ’s way: by dashing of a snarky, sake.” President Obama then 140-character missive while on the went on a profanity-ridden tirade crapper at Starbucks. in which he expressed disgust for “being held accountable for a house that was falling apart when I moved in,” right before throwing several darts towards a board made up to look like Rick Perry’s face. “I killed Osama Bin Laden, remember?” the President muttered After spending nearly forty-eight hours as he disappeared back into the Oval locked in the Oval Office blasting angstOffice, from which The Smiths’ “The Queen ridden screamo music, President Barack is Dead” could be heard moments later.

mentally retarded

President Obama flips out, orders everyone out of Iraq

Bachmann campaign staffers resign in New Hampshire, report feelings of revolt and confusion

A large number of Republican Presidential hopeful Michelle Bachmann’s campaign team in New Hampshire have resigned en masse, including the campaign’s New Hampshire manager, Jeff Chidester. Onlookers outside Bachmann campaign headquarters milled around for hours to watch the slow trickle of people emerge from the building, all of them looking confused and disheveled.

“What the hell have I been doing for the last eight months?” one anonymous staffer asked bystanders. “I feel like I’ve been campaigning for an insane, theocratic right-wing nutjob. My head hurts like hell.”

Nearby, trained mental health professionals had set up a support tent for ex-campaign staffers who were experiencing symptoms of PTSD and suicidal thoughts. “I mean, she actually said a woman came up to her after a debate and told her vaccines made her mentally retarded,” one young lady recounted tearfully. “How could I work for such a monster? I think I need to go lie down.”

ARRYN ZECH & MILES LUNA Halloween is just around the corner, so instead of the usual Patch, I’ve asked a friend from Rooster Teeth, Miles Luna, to help share with you the top three scariest games I’ve ever played or seen played.

Number 3: Left 4 Dead Though I know it probably doesn’t seem all that scary because it’s a multi-player shooter and a little campy at times, Left 4 Dead had one of the most frightening video game moments ever for me.

Sitting in a dark room with three other friends who are obviously much better at this game than you is already bad enough, but when you combine that with hearing the sound of the horde and ominous crying of a witch nearby when suddenly those assholes you call teammates close the safety door on you, anxieties can run pretty high.

My team had literally left me for dead to have my innards eaten by a pack of ravenous zombies and be torn to shreds by a pissed off witch, who, by the way, I didn’t even startle. How rude.

I’ve never screamed so loud due to a zombie game in my life. Being backed up against the filthy walls of the city sewer as my teammates giggle listening to my pitiful and agony-soaked whimpers.

I’ve still yet to play with them in those conditions again.

Number 2: Dead Space I’ve been playing games since the day I could operate a joystick, and I’ve gotta say that the Dead Space franchise is one of my favorites. Is it the scariest game of all time? Absolutely not; the premise was familiar, the scares were predictable, and the gameplay became repetitive about two-thirds of the way through. However, the original Dead Space sent me spiraling down the path to horror game adoration.

What I loved about Dead Space was that it was 100% devoted to immersing the player.

Inventory screens, workbenches, even the heads-up display were all contained within the world of the game. Taking the health bar out of the corner of the television screen and placing it on the protagonist’s space suit was brilliant.

Complete immersion also meant that players were in a constant state of danger unless they chose to pause the game entirely. In other words, playing Dead Space for extended periods of time could lead to stress levels that were typically only seen during finals week.

The game also had fantastic lighting and sound design for a 2008 release date. I’m normally not one to care about graphics, but players’ first glimpse of outer space was hauntingly beautiful and playing the game with surround sound was the equivalent of premium-grade nightmare fuel.

A procrastinator’s guide to Halloween Where to get cool last-minute costumes on the cheap I swore to myself somewhere back in June that I would not be the same thing that I have been for Halloween for approximately the past 12 years. Yet, here we are, a week out and I haven’t done anything to procure a cool costume. I’m seriously considering cutting two eye-holes in a sheet, throwing that over my head, and calling it a night.

Flash back about a decade: I saw an ad in the Chronicle for custom-fitted vampire teeth, made by a guy in South Austin who used to work in Hollywood in the monster make-up specialties.

Cool! I had always wanted to be “Lucy” from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. You know, the movie with

Winona Ryder before she stole stuff and Keanu Reeves when he still thought he could act. Lucy had the best costume after she became one of the living dead, all lace and ruffles, an Elizabethan collar, and a bizarrely elegant headpiece.

I called the undead dentist and made my appointment. A very unglamorous affair it was, unfortunately, sitting in his garage with a mouth full of that horrible goop the dentist stuffs in your face to make a plaster casting of your teeth. At least there were a few other gothies hanging out, waiting patiently with me for our new bitchin’ bicuspids.

The teeth looked great, totally convincing, but how the hell was I supposed to be a sexy,

If you enjoy a good horror game, Amnesia is perfect for you. Frictional Games couldn’t have created a better heart-stopper than this. Instead of having things flash on your screen or by using basic scare tactics, they’ve created a world where your only hope of surviving is to hide.

In the game, you play a man named Daniel, and you begin by waking up in a strange old Germanic castle. Once you find your bearings, you must navigate through the story of Daniel, recollect your missing thoughts and memories, avoid a monster or two that is hunting you specifically, and you must do all of this with absolutely no weapons or fighting power. When a monster spots you, or you hear one close by, you must run and hide yourself in a dark room. But here’s the kicker: if you

stay too long in the dark, you go crazy. And die.

I can’t say too many specific moments in this game scared the shit out of me, because many of these horrific times are random and change from game to game, but I can recall one section of the game that will forever keep me from stepping in water in whatever game it is I’m playing, even if I’m playing Fluffy Rainbowland of Happiness. Without giving too much away, a small “water level” occurs somewhere near the beginning of the game. Just don’t stand still for too long when this level comes around for you.

I couldn’t even bear to play the game myself for more than 5 minutes; I had to have someone play it for me so I could watch.

Amnesia is the most suspenseful game I’ve ever encountered in my gaming career. The graphics are perfect for the genre, the sound design is impeccable, and the controls are easy, which is good seeing as you’ll be running and screaming like a little bitch half the time anyway.

I know perfectly well all of the amazing horror games that the world has produced aren’t on my list of only 3. If you’re really into games that make you poop your pants or keep you on the edge of your seat with your snuggie, here’s a quick list I’ve jotted down for you in no particular order: F.E.A.R., Bioshock, Alan Wake, Half-Life, Doom, Silent Hill, and Resident Evil.

Enjoy.

sophisticated Lucy the Vampire when I sounded like a 6-year-old Cindy Brady from “The Brady Bunch?”

“Ihii vantbbhh tooo thbuck yoor bthtplood!” What?

Eventually, I got used to the fang retainer and didn’t sound completely like Short Bus Vampire when I practiced speaking in the mirror, so I decided to go

be so stupid? But there we all were together, in a huge, long-ass line, snaking around the side of the building, because we were all procrastinators. I’ve driven by the Bazaar on subsequent Halloween afternoons and still, fools aplenty stand waiting, cursing themselves for waiting until the last

Although the gameplay was somewhat of a letdown, the extreme focus on player immersion was enough to make me hold on to my original copy of Dead Space for all these years. If you don’t believe me, just borrow a copy, turn off the lights, crank up the sound, and play the first fifteen minutes. If you find that you’re still clutching onto your controller afterward, take a deep breath, because in about two chapters you’re going to need to start rationing your oxygen canisters.

Number 1: Amnesia: The Dark Descent

I’ve driven by the Bazaar on subsequent Halloween afternoons and still, fools aplenty stand waiting, cursing themselves for waiting until the last second! Will we never learn? ahead with the rest of my costume.

I had a huge red/black satin cape I had made for a project in fashion school, a tattered lace nightgown from Thrift Town on Manchaca, and supergoth lace-up Victorian booties. All I needed was some fake blood to dribble down my chin and I would be set. No problem, right? I’ll just hop over to the Bazaar on Riverside right before heading to the big Halloween party, run in and grab some real quick.

WRONG! (If you are considering doing this same thing on the day of Halloween, heed my warning: the place is friggin’ packed!) How could I be so stupid? How could everyone else in this city

second! Will we never learn?

If you’re going to wait until the last possible second to get a costume, just because you wouldn’t be you if you did it any other way, don’t forget about good ol’ Goodwill Stores. With locations all over town and dirt cheap prices, you can whip a great last minute costume that won’t come with the procrastinator’s surcharge.

Me, on the other hand, looks like I’m going to be Lucy the Vampire for the 13th year in a row.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

juliana “the specialist” azar UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

21

Dressin’ Up & Doin’ It Because slutty costumes aren’t just for Halloween This weekend, a whole lot of adults are going to dress up in ridiculous outfits and get fallingdown-drunk at Halloween parties. Some will wear costumes that took a lot of creative effort, others will just buy some cheap crap from a Spirit store that shows cleavage. Either way, we will all unite in the fact that wearing costumes is awesome. So in awesome, in fact, that as a society, we should really do it more often.

The last truly epic pagan holiday, Halloween is one of the few occasions where grown-ups are encouraged to get dressed like something they’re not and have a good time. A lot of people talk shit about the halfassed (and half-clothed) slutty nurses, Playboy bunnies, and scantily clad catwomen that descend on Dirty Sixth, but really, dressing up in costume is about briefly being free from your mundane life, not seeing who can spend the most time hot-gluing together a Mothra costume (though anyone who hot glues a Mothra costume is certainly a force to be reckoned with). Besides, the problem here isn’t that people are dressing up in sexy themed outfits, it’s that they’re not staying in their bedrooms after they do.

Though most couples probably shudder at the idea of introducing silly costumes into their sex life, it’s one of the easiest ways to alleviate the sexual monotony that can accompany long-term monogamy. Because once you see a person naked, you will never be able to see them more naked than that. Unless you have access to free sonograms, zero clothing is as naked as it gets. So once you’ve reached that point of diminishing returns, adding clothing

becomes the easiest method for adding variety.

Of course, “putting the spice back in a marriage with some sexy lingerie” is one of the most tired tropes sex columnists have, which is why that is not what I am suggesting here. Rather, I am suggesting that couples try having sex in actual, storebought Halloween costumes.

Come November 1, quickly closing Halloween shops will be selling their entire stock for flea market prices, which means that a couple willing to indulge their erotic imagination can score a whole new wardrobe for less than the cost of a halfway decent vibrator.

As George Michael once said, “Sex is natural, sex is fun,” and sex is best when it tries to be fun. Passion, lust, intensity, and sensuality are great and all, but a little sense of humor is the secret ingredient of a great sex life. Just like regular sex, the first time you add some role play and accessories into the mix, things are going to be fairly awkward. But if you aim for fun over orgasms and don’t take things too seriously, pretty soon sexy weekends will start with a deposit at Lucy’s in Disguise and end with a trip to the dry cleaners.

Anyone who hot glues a Mothra costume is certainly a force to be reckoned with.

10.27 for more details visit:

UWeeklyAustin.com 22

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Devon Tincknell

Proper use of slutty costumes: For some reason, people tend to be more comfortable dressing up like a slutty cowgirl for strangers on 6th Street than their significant other. Introducing naughty costumes into the bedroom isn’t hard; however, it just takes a little confidence and the following four steps.

Get a cute costume: For guys or girls, start with something flattering. Cheap and cheesy doesn’t matter as long you as look decent in it.

1.)

2.)

Wear the costume: Don’t suit up and head straight for the sex. Get dressed, make an entrance, and then just make out.

Remind your partner that their goal is actually not to get you undressed for once.

3.)

Keep the costume on: Even when things get hot and heavy, you don’t want to ruin the illusion by disrobing entirely. Slutty nurse? Keep on your cap and unbutton your blouse. Cockycowboy? That’s why chaps are crotchless.

4.)

Silly is Sexy: Earnest attempts at being seductive will often leave you feeling stupid. Start off stupid by playing around and making puns, and then be surprised when things get sexy. Keep things light and leave the lights on.

Photos: Eli Watson

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

23

A

LL

Barstars Photos: Shannon grant

CALLING GREEKS EVENTS

on shiner’s salo e 422 congress avenu

TaiLgaToRZ

:30 for Sunday Football complimentary buffet 11-12

2828 rio grande Street

fundrai

sers

y

hrop t n a l i ph

The LiBRaRy

ChuPaCaBR a

407 east Sixth Street

400 east Sixth Street

advertise with

student rates available Contact michael@uweeklyaustin.com

24

TouLouSe

The STage

402 east Sixth Street

508 east Sixth Street

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com *

Photos courtesy Beso cantina

you’re this week’s winner!

Come to our office to collect $25!*

for more party piCs, go to uweeklyaustin.Com. *If your face is circled, you’re this week’s winner of Barstars! come to our office at 2608 east Sixth Street, Unit 3 Mon through Wed (9–5 p.m.) to collect $25 cash! (Be sure to Facebook us to let us know you won!)

25

super Crossword

Crypto quip This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

ALL WRAPPED UP

CLUE: J EQUALS H

sudoku

Cast and Director of Searching for Sonny Austin Film Festival ends a week filled of film screenings, screenwriting panels, Johnny Depp and James Franco. Searching for Sonny, filmed in Fort Worth, held its world premiere on two nights of packed crowds during the festival.

The comedic noir stars Jason Dohring (“Veronica Mars”), Minka Kelly (“Friday Night Lights”), and Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher (BriTANick). McElhaney, Kocher, and Andrew Disney, writer/director, sat down with UWeekly to talk about the film, what it was like working with some of the more familiar actors and the length Disney will go through to make his actors feel comfortable.

This is the debut film for all of you.

How did you pick these guys?

Andrew Disney: We all went to (New York University) and graduated in the same year at NYU, but I actually didn’t know y’all there. I saw a play so I knew you from afar.

Nick Kocher: What play?

AD: This Means Kill.

NK: Oh yeah.

AD: I was always a huge fan of their work. So many people are. Their work in BriTANick is just amazing. I just loved their stuff and really thought they would be perfect for the two roles for these two characters. For me, all the casting was so personal because I loved “Veronica Mars.”

I loved “Friday Night Lights.” I love Masi (Oka) and “Heroes.” I wrote the role for Michael Hogan from “Battlestar Galatica” because I loved him as Colonel Tigh. I wanted to see him do comedy. I was a big fan of “The Wire,” so Clarke Peters narrates it. I was a huge fan of them so I guess I cast people that I was a fan of and it was awesome that they also wanted to do it. Also it was cool to bring Hollywood and Internet stars and see what kind of craziness happens.

So what drew y’all two to the script?

Why did you decide to make this your feature film debut from the Internet series?

NK: Well we had initially met Andrew because he had screened our short film, Eagles Are Turning People Into Horses at the Lone Star International Film Festival. I’d gone down there for that. Brian was out of town. I’d seen his spec trailer that he

Photo:Sarah Vasquezs

had shot and really liked it and thought it was really cool. I knew he was making it, and was secretly like, “Brian and I should be in this.”

Brian McElhaney: You kept telling me, like, “I saw Disney’s trailer for his movie. It looks really good.”

AD: Secretly I was thinking Brian and Nick should be in this.

NK: So we were both secretly conspiring to try to get us in the film.

BM: We should have just communicated much earlier.

NK: Then we were at South by Southwest (SXSW) and Disney came over to SXSW. We auditioned there. Yeah, it was just a lot of fun. It just made a lot of sense to do it.

BM: We got along luckily really well.

AD: There’s just so much in film school that I didn’t know.

I didn’t know what a meeting was like. I didn’t know when you want an actor to be in your movie, you make an offer. You have a meeting. You also don’t know what they’re going to be like when they come on set. You have no idea.

And in this movie, everybody had to share a trailer. So it just turned out really like summer camp, I felt like.

NK: I think one of the best things that a director can do is early on get everyone excited about the project and have everyone really invested in the project’s success. When you have everyone really wanting to make sure the best is going into it, you get a good product. I think you did that great.

“In general in life from now on, if you see someone being uncomfortable, getting naked in front of them may take their mind off of whatever. Whatever they’re thinking about.”

We were excited about the film and really wanted to be a part of it. I don’t think it was ever a decision of should we do this or not. Yes please, we want to do this.

BM: We’ve always had the plan to break out of the Internet and go to the next step for a while. Being in big roles for someone else’s film that was really good seemed like a good first step to, like, doing our own films and stuff. It really was a no-brainer What was it like working with the other actors?

BM and NK: Great.

AD: It was like summer camp.

BM: To Disney’s credit, for this first time 24-year-old (at the time) director’s feature with not a big budget, you got these big names. We’re talking to Minka and Jason one night and it was just funny because everyone was like, “Yeah, we’re obviously not here for the money. We’re here because we love it.” Because they were getting paid way less than what they normally do. Nick and I were like, “What are you talking about?”

NK: This is the biggest paycheck we’ve ever gotten.

BM: We’re doing this for the money specifically.

NK: They were like “It’s not a very

glamorous set. We have to share a trailer.”

We have a trailer. We’re not huddled in the rain on a BriTANick shoot. They can’t make us work 48 hours straight like we make ourselves work.

BM: Yeah, I think everyone was just really excited to just be there and make it right.

Nick: No one at all was phony. Everyone really wanted the finished product to be good.

Now you’re premiering the film in Austin. How does it feel?

BM: It feels good.

NK: Good.

AD: Surreal.

BM: I asked Nick last night, “Hey, we’re starring in our first movie that’s premiering. We’ve thought about days like this. How do you feel?” He’s like, “It hasn’t really hit me.” I think it’s right now during this interview.

NK: I’m still not convinced that this isn’t an elaborate prank that the seniors of my high school are pulling on me.

BM: But we filmed the movie.

NK: No, I know.

AD: It’d be very elaborate.

NK: They’re just going to show the streaking scene, and then everyone’s going to point and laugh.

BM: Right, yeah. Nick gets naked in the film.

AD: Yeah, everybody got naked.

NK: Everyone got naked? No, not everyone got naked.

AD: I got naked.

NK: That’s true.

Sarah Vasquez

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

27

Wednesday

Minus the Bear @ La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

Wednesdays are a conflicting day. Still too close to Monday to have the excitement of Thursday but halfway to Friday, Wednesdays can often be the hardest day to get through. Luckily, everyone’s favorite band, Minus the Bear, is playing at La Zona Rosa. The Bear, now in their tenth year, play straight-up hard rock with a dash of keyboards to help catapult you through the stratosphere.

Tickets: www.lazonarosa.frontgatetickets.com

►►Also Worthy

@ Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

“Michael Jackson. A Million Dollars.

Holler.” Everyone is making a dollar off of Michael’s legacy, even the off-beat rap group Das Racist. Nevertheless, while his weird body, and nose, might be buried in some mausoleum somewhere next to Peter Pan, his legacy, and culpability for his death, still lives on. Come celebrate Michael, outside of the courtroom, at the Alamo’s sing-along. Get your thriller on, while pretending to be a smooth criminal.

Das Racist @ Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

In an age when hip-hop is supposed to be six feet under, a new crop of weirdo and genre-pushing emcees have risen up to the challenge of taking the rap game into a new direction. While Odd Future might be trying their hardest to shock and awe, Das Racist are conquering the rap world in an easy chair. Their flows, wordplay, and beats casually redefine what is possible within the genre. Danny Brown and Despot control the mic first.

Tickets: www.ticketweb.com

Tickets: www.originalalamo.com

►►Also Worthy

Dillinger Escape Plan

Chicken Shift

Galactic

Shaun of the Dead: Quote Along

Aids Wolf

DJ Kenya

Free Improv Comedy

Shortwave

Foot Patrol

Easy Tiger

Block Party: A Comedy Mixtape

’80s Dance Party

Befriend the Bears

Fishbone

Footloose

Alamo Lake Creek, 13729 Research Blvd ColdTowne Theatre, 4803 Airport Beerland, 711 Red River Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

Will bass 28

Michael Jackson: Quote Along

friday

►►Also Worthy

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

The top events & shows in Austin this week

thursday

October 26, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Flamingo Cantina, 515 E 6th 29th St. Ballroom, 10 W 29th Beerland, 711 Red River The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood Emo’s, 603 Red River

Stubb’s, 601 Red River Kung Fu Saloon, 51 Rio Grande Frontier Bar, 2412 Weberville The Highball, 1120 S Lamar Barabarella, 615 Red River

saturday

sunday

monday

A Live One @ Antone’s, 213 W 5th

A Live One are Austin’s premier, and probably only, Phish cover band. Experience the crunchy jams of Phish without the foul porta potties, bad drugs, and in a small setting.

These bros will play three sets with one being Prince’s Purple Rain all the way through.

Tickets: www.ticketfly.com

Zombie Ball @ ACL Live at the Moody Theater, 310 W 2nd

Why the hell do we love zombies so much? Dressing up as them, killing them, and having sex with them all are part of the world’s infatuation with these creatures. Well, better ask uncle Freud. Nevertheless, now is your chance to live out any and all of your exotic zombie fantasies at the annual Zombie Ball. Bright Light Social Hour will be bringing their funk to your undead ears while the Rhymnese Twins will hurl verbal daggers at the zombie celebrities (read: you) on this crimson-colored carpet.

CineSundays @ 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

Sundays are usually a day of laying low and cooling your heals. Mimosas, movies, and afternoon delights are usually in order. Luckily for you, you don’t have to hoof it over to Vulcan or I Heart for a movie when there is a free one across the street at 29th Street Ballroom. Come thirsty though, as drink specials will abound.

►►Also Worthy

Boots Electric

Stubb’s, 601 Red River

Monday Night Mash

ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport

Rock N Roll Karaoke Beerland, 711 Red River

tuesday

Sarah Silverman

Tickets: www.zombieball.com

@ Paramount Theater, 713 Congress ►►Also Worthy

►►Also Worthy

Beirut

CSS

Zola Jesus

TV at the Alamo: Breaking Bad

Bassnectar

Hoop Church

Stubb’s, 601 Red River Mohawk, 912 Red River Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces

Mike Flanigin Trio

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

Wild Flag

La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th

La Zona Rosa, 612 W 4th Alamo South Lamar. 1120 S Lamar Hot Mama’s, 2401 E 6th

The Zoltars

Beerland, 711 Red River

Liars & Saints

Mohawk, 912 Red River

According to doctors, nine out of ten hangovers can be cured by laughter.

Work off that terrible Halloween hangover while burning some calories as funny lady Sarah Silverman brings her humorous self and friends to the Paramount.

Tickets: tickets.austintheatre.org

►►Also Worthy

Said the Whale

Emo’s, 603 Red River

Tittie Bingo

The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Ephraim Owens Experience

Continental Club, 1315 S Congress

UWeeklyAustin.com | October 26, 2011

29

► thIrSty nIcKel

► the lIBrary

325 e 6th

407 e 6th

$1 wells

$1 domestics/wells, $2 import bottles

► Soho loUnge

► toUche

217 e 6th

417 e 6th

$2 wells/domestics

$1 schnapps

► MI caSa cantIna

503 e 6th

$0.50, $2.50 margaritas til 11 pm

► agave

► SPIll

212 e 6th

$2 you call it, $1 miller High life

► BIKInI’S on 6th

415 e 6th

214 e 6th

$3 you call it

$12 Beer Buckets

► PecKerheaDS

► BUFFalo BIllIarDS

402 e 6th

201 e 6th

$2 wells/domestics

$3 imperial

► FrIenDS

► BlInD PIg

208 e 6th

317 e 6th

$3 you call it/$2 vodka Bombs

$3.50 wells/domestics from 5-8 pm

► PUre

► FUel

flying sauCer look up in THe sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…The Flying Saucer.

Located squarely in Austin’s renowned “Triangle” district (which to some is a poor man’s version of The Domain and to others is a rich man’s version of West Campus), the Flying Saucer likes to boast that it has the widest beer selection in the entire city. With other beer bars around town like Ginger Man vying for similar acclaim, Flying Saucer represents itself well as the premier place to go in Austin if you’re a beer lover.

Besides having an enormous selection of beers on tap, Flying Saucer also has theme nights, including trivia night every Tuesday and a special on Texas pints on Mondays. It also has more than its share of hot waitresses who can more than hold their own in an in-depth discussion when it comes to beer. As far as finding my ideal woman is concerned, there’s checks one and two right there.

BrIan Bogart

► DIzzy rooSter

419 e 6th

607 Trinity

306 e 6th

$0.25 wells

$0.50 wells, $1 domestics

$2 domestics/wells/jello shots

► MaggIe Mae’S

► treaSUre ISlanD

► ParaDISe

323 e 6th

415 e 6th

401 e 6th

$2 wells/domestics

$2 domestics, $1 any liquor, $4 Bombs

$3.50 mexican martinis/$2.50 XX

► coyote Ugly

► DarWIn’S PUB

► SaPPhIre

501 e 6th

223 e 6th

411 e 6th

$5 Beer and shot, $2 landshark from 11 am-7 pm

$2 wells/domestics 12-9 pm

$2 wells and any Bud

HALLOWEEN@BESO

Show up in

costume!

307B West 5th Street

BESOCANTINA.COM

RBY LANE)

(NEXT TO KE 2610 GUADALUPE

NFL TICKET E

WE’VE GOT TH

SEVERAL GAMES WITH SOUND

”

HS T U R T S INTLES

“PO

TRIV

UESDAY T Y R E IA EV

NIGHT

D A P i E D E A P R i F REE

F

OR

V T ” O 2 R 4 A 42”T V

T V! ” 2 4 r o ad2 P i E E R F et a g d n a e as Sign a le

ableTV! ail42” avor ing available Sign a lease andmget FREE atchiPad2 ateam matching om roroommate stainless steel appliances granite roommate matching available - stainless steel applianceshuge - granite countertops countertops walkin closets huge walkin closets - hardwood foors hardwood - fitness center - rooftop foors fitness pool center rooftop pool

T heVenu eo nGua d a l up e.co m T heVenu eonGu adalu pe.com 512.473.3706 2815 Guada l up e S t.

512.473.3706 | 2815 Guadalupe S t.