UWeekly November 30, 2011 by Jess Pendleton

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NOV 30, 2011

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VOL. 3 ISSUE 14

one YeAr WitH tHe loCAl AUstin BAnd

NoVEMBEr 30, 2011

Survival guide:

loMo:

Glossary of terms:

Finals

the lomography Gallery Store oPENS Dec. 6

Faking it through a sports conversation

BiKe Vs. MotorCYCle: A look at a local Austin bike gang Photo: Eli Watson

it’s tiMe to stUdY, stUdY, stUdY THE CHANGE OF SEASONS, temperatures and semesters is in the air. As we head into December, there are a few things to look forward to: The holidays, cozy sweaters, hot cocoa and a month-long break from school. The only thing standing in the way of all that holiday cheer is finals. This homestretch to the end of the semester is the hardest. You’re low on money, you’re tired, and your focus is fading fast. Try these tips to keep your head in the game until the end.

stArt eArlY Start studying early for finals, writing those last essays and making those flash cards. If you don’t think you have time to do it now, you won’t have time the night before your big chemistry test. Don’t feel bashful about calling in all your resources. Start study groups, network with others in your major, whatever it takes to get your shit done, do it. Jot down a quick schedule of what’s coming up for the month of December. Figure out when you absolutely have to start studying/ writing those papers and plan to start a week before that. This will give you more time to produce quality work, put less pressure on you and make the experience generally more enjoyable.

PrioritiZe Figure out which class you have the worst grade in. Make the one or two classes in which you have the lowest grade your top priority. This way you can dedicate more time and energy on those classes that are right on the

finAls Are CoMinG UP, don’t BloW it

second to review all of your classes this semester and brainstorm what your professors might have in store for you and prepare for that. Also, if you have any copies of old tests you’ve taken or graded essays, whip those out and study from them. It’s highly likely that your professor will pull questions from old exams just to be lazy/sneaky.

“CoNtRARY to populAR bEliEf, CHeetos And Coffee WoN’t HElp You gEt tHRougH tHAt lAtE NigHt CRAm sEssioN likE You tHiNk tHEY Will.” edge of putting you on academic probation, and feel safe with the cushion you have in the classes you’re doing well in.

AntiCiPAte By now, you should be familiar with your professor’s teaching style and how they like to structure their exams and grade their essays. Anticipate their moves. What types of questions do you think they are going to ask? What kinds of answers are they looking for? Much like a chess game, you have to see them coming and move accordingly. Take a

underestimate the benefits of staying hydrated by drinking lots of water after that third cup of coffee. Also, you might be surprised to find that you have more energy after you engage in exercise like a short jog, yoga or a session at the gym. Remember, the goal is to have more energy, so don’t exhaust yourself pumping iron if you opt for this solution. While it may seem like it might take longer to go running or fix yourself a salad and protein shake, in reality, caffeine and sugar can only go so far until you need to refuel. In the long run, those quick fixes might take more time than you have to give.

tAKe BreAKs, freQUentlY food is fUel for life Contrary to popular belief, Cheetos and coffee won’t help you get through that late night cram session like you think they will. In fact, you’re more likely to get a short burst of energy from a sugar high, then crash. Instead, opt for healthier solutions for energy. Don’t

When you’re under the gun, the pressure can feel overwhelming and taking a break might seem like the least productive thing to do, but au contraire! Taking short, frequent breaks coupled with one or two lengthy ones actually elevates your mood and energy levels by allowing you to recharge your batteries by taking a mental break from the insane amount of information you are processing. Fun breaks are best. Rent a comedy, go grab some food with your friends, take a walk around Town Lake (I mean, Lady Bird Lake). Anything to get you out of your dorm room, into the world and not thinking about how much studying you have to do.

AMANDA ChAPPEl

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

Pens And PenCils Unite

Write for riGHts tHis deCeMBer 3-11 WitH AMnestY internAtionAl AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL is an organization that has been around for the past fifty years taking up numerous causes and leaving no injustice unchallenged. Living in a country where our free speech is protected by law, it might not occur to us that there are people right now sitting in jail for such things as using Facebook and speaking out against their government. Even Nobel Prize winner Liu Xiaobo hasn’t been exempt from wrongful incarceration. That’s why Amnesty International is hosting the annual Write for Rights campaign beginning December 3 and ending December 11. Write for Rights is a global write-a-thon that coincides with International Human Rights Day, Dec. 10, making it the world’s largest human rights event. It’s a simple process with huge impact.

JABBAr sAVAlAn aZeRBaiJaN Youth activist detained after using facebook Hours after posting a Facebook message calling for protests against the government, Jabbar Savalan told his family that he was being followed. The next evening, police brought him to a police station, where they “discovered” marijuana in his outer coat pocket. Questioning him without a lawyer for two days, police reportedly hit and intimidated him to make him sign a confession. Jabbar Savalan maintained that he does not use drugs and that the marijuana was planted on him. Authorities in Azerbaijan have a history of using trumped-up drug charges to jail those seen as critical of the government. Amnesty International believes the charges against Jabbar were fabricated, and considers him a prisoner of conscience.

To participate, sign up on Amnesty International’s website, pledge to write a certain number of letters on behalf of those who are currently in prison for unjust reasons and start writing. Once you sign up, you will get the chance to review the cases of 15 people or communities of people who have been jailed, killed or wrongfully evacuated from their homes. You can choose to write letters on behalf of certain individuals or letters pertaining to pet causes of yours. As of now, you can choose to support causes such as student activism or freedom of expression. Once

Many times, the people who Amnesty International rallies for are in prison for what could be considered non-crimes, simply being who they are or standing up for what they believe in. Things like homosexuality or following individual spiritual beliefs have led to incarcerations and even death. The results of past Write for Rights events have been tremendous and have actually led to the release of prisoners in countries all over the world. Since 2008, 15 people have been released from prison due to the flood of letters sponsored by Amnesty International’s Write for Rights. As a student, you are used to writing about things you might not care about. Although the hectic month of December heralds finals, the holidays and cold weather, don’t give up your opportunity to prove that the pen is mightier than the sword and lend your powerful voice to justice, peace and liberation.

“tHere Are PeoPle riGHt noW sittinG in JAil for sUCH tHinGs As UsinG fACeBooK” your letter is complete, simply drop it in the mail to the address provided. Remember, you are not necessarily writing letters to the incarcerated individual, you are writing letters to their jailers demanding their immediate release. Feel free to speak your mind, but keep it civil. We want the jailers to reconsider their actions and reconsider the humanity behind the justice system they enforce. This year’s goal is to have people from around the globe pen 250,000 letters. Much like a fundraiser, the more pledges and letters written only strengthen their cause. By writing these letters, you are not only lending your voice to people who aren’t able to stand up for themselves, you are also demanding fair and just treatment through the world’s legal systems.

AMANDA ChAPPEl

Visit www.amnestyusa.org/writeathon to sign up and get more details UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

Ut CAnCer institUte foCUses on drUG reseArCH The Tribune monthly membership newsletter: your guide to what’s going on at the Tribune, including advance notice of upcoming events.

- Member discount for ticketed events produced by the Tribune - A Tribune bumper magnet to proudly display on your car - Your name as a Tribune member on our website - Invitations to Tribune happy hours

STUDENT MEMBERSHIP

A YEAR

TEXASTRIBUNE.ORG

THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS is committing $75 million to kick-start the new Institute for Applied Cancer Science, which will focus on speeding up the discovery and delivery of effective cancer drugs at a time when pharmaceutical companies have scaled back research and development. Gov. Rick Perry, taking a break from his busy pursuit of the GOP presidential nomination, was on hand for the announcement at the south campus of MD Anderson Cancer Center, site of the new facility, in Houston on Monday. Perry said the institute would help Texas cement its position as a leader in cancer research and scientific innovation. “I believe this state represents a unique crossroads, a place where academic research can come together with a very vibrant private sector to tap into this steadily growing biosciences sector. We’re just scratching the surface of its potential,” Perry said. “We’re creating a culture that will help ensure that great ideas that are born in Texas will stay in Texas, from the laboratory to the marketplace, and then we will export them around the world.” UT’s MD Anderson will spend a maximum of $15 million a year for five years to help fund the institute. Officials are also trying to raise $42 million in private donations over the same period, and they expect private pharmaceutical companies will contribute research dollars with the hope of investing in the latest cancer remedies.. Dr. Ronald DePinho, president of MD Anderson, led a similar but smaller effort at Harvard University. He said the institute will help fill a void in the cancer drug pipeline, caused by a pullback from pharmaceutical

Photo: Zereshk

companies and the economic downturn. “Since about 2003, large Pharma has systematically gutted its early stage research and development and has preserved its capital to fund late-stage clinical development and commercializ ation,” DePinho said. He called the creation of the institute, in operation since Sept. 1 but formally announced Monday, a “dark day for cancer.” The Texas center is taking both inspiration and leadership from Harvard’s Belfer Institute for Applied Cancer Science,

“WE’RE CREAtiNg A CultuRE tHAt Will HElp ENsuRE tHAt gREAt idEAs tHAt ARE boRN iN tEXAs Will stAY iN tEXAs, fRom tHE lAboRAtoRY to tHE mARkEtplACE, ANd tHEN WE Will EXpoRt tHEm ARouNd tHE WoRld.”

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

part of the renowned Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. DePinho directed the Belfer institute and his wife, Dr. Lynda Chin, was its former scientific director. She will have the same role at the Texas institute. Former Belfer deputy director Giulio Draetta is now director of the newly created Institute for Applied Cancer Science at MD Anderson. Perry was introduced at the conference by his top UT appointee, Board of Regents Chairman Gene Powell, who called the governor a “great Texan, a great American.” Perry, who has a full week ahead on the campaign trail, did not take any questions from reporters at the event. He is staging town-hall events this week in New Hampshire and has private fundraisers scheduled in California.

JAy root This article originally appeared in the Texas Tribune. It has been reprinted with premission.

lomogRApHY to opEN gAllERY stoRE iN AustiN ON NOV. 3, Austin got its first taste of how Lomography likes to party. The new Lomography Gallery Store rolled out the red carpet for the launch of the company’s highly anticipated hand-cranked motion picture camera, the Lomokino. Inside the gallery, attendees played photographyinspired games for prizes and watched a demonstration of the 35 mm camera that the analogue film giant is describing as a “game changer.” The camera’s grainy, stop-motion footage will not disappoint fans of the company’s “analogue or go home” ethos. The party served not only as a launch for the Lomokino but also as a soft opening for the newest Lomography location. On Dec. 6, the Lomography Gallery Store will open at 912 Congress. Lindsay Hutchens, the store’s general manager, said the store will double as a gallery for

Lomography prints shot by Austin residents as well as a retail space. “The idea is that the common thread will be using Lomography products and having the Lomography ethos in mind while shooting but the photographs will also be by people in and around Austin,” said Hutchens. “We had about 500 at the grand opening in LA and we’re expecting about 300 people here. We’ll have live music, an open bar and food.” Attendees of the event will also be able to

The building is a historically preserved site. The limestone walls that climb from the floor to the tall ceiling give a unique Texas spin to the new store. Travis Keel stopped by the Lomokino launch on Nov. 3 to see what all the buzz had been about. Keel is a film hobbyist and said that after seeing the demonstration and the sample movies that had been shot with the Lomokino, he understood what the fuss had been about. “They’re bringing back old photography, archaic, vintagestyle photography,” said Keel. “This new camera is going to be a pretty big deal. Film would probably die if not for Lomography and disposable cameras.” In the past four years, Keel has not used a digital camera for any of his shoots. Keel said he makes a point to shoot only on film. “It has soul to it,” said Keel. “People used to think that film would take your soul and it really does.” The film shot on the Lomokino can be processed anywhere that processes film including Walgreens, CVS and any Lomography Gallery Store. Hutchens credited the ease of use and lack of pretense for Lomography’s success. “Lomography plays a big role in bringing film to the masses,” said Hutchens. “Because Lomography makes affordable products and has an everyman drive toward the way the cameras work and the way people shoot with the cameras, I think it makes it less intimidating for people who don’t have a professional photography background and in that way it keeps film alive.”

tHis NEW CAmERA is goiNg to bE A pREttY big dEAl. film Would pRobAblY diE if Not foR lomogRApHY ANd disposAblE CAmERAs. see the unveiling of the largest “LomoWall” in the south. The wall, which is a staple of Lomography galleries across the country, will feature 4000 photographs of the city of Austin.

BrEtt thorNE UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

dAYPlAnner

AMANDA ChAPPEl

Publisher Michael Huereque

EVENtS oN or AroUND CAMPUS sWeaTshops be Gone

November 30 In the spirit of global demonstrations and sticking it to the man, you can lend your protester’s spirit to altruism and equal rights with this march on the Tower. But don’t forget your pens and pencils as you will be dropping letters of threat/encouragement to UT’s admin staff urging them to stop buying and selling products that were made by the hands of a 12 year old slave laborer. Gregory Plaza 11AM -1 PM

hIv= aIDs December 1 Help stop the madness as well as the spread of this infectious disease. In honor of World AIDS Day, enjoy performances, studio art and presentations by students and professors alike. Doty Fine Arts Building (DFA) 5-7 PM coLorecTaL perIanaL December 2 It’s Colon Cancer Day, everyone! Did you know that? Bet you didn’t. That’s because it’s the first one, ever. So don’t act like you know it all; just act like you care that this affects the lives of untold numbers. Since it could happen to you, come learn about it through exhibits, screenings and risk assessments. West Mall 10AM -1 PM

December 2 Get your grandma’s ugliest sweater out of the closet and head down to The Local. Celebrate another semester under your belt with raffle prizes and booze. The only catch is, you have to bring an item to donate in order to get a raffle ticket. One item equals one ticket. Nothing in life is free, you know. The Local

art director Jessica Caraway ad designer Terry Kennedy editor–in–Chief Sarah Neve

Jesus TeLLs LIes December 2 Or rather, lies were told about Jesus. Either way, if you think all that stuff they’ve been saying for centuries about Jesus might be just a little bit off, you’re not alone. Check out author David Fitzgerald as he presents ideas from his self-published book, “Ten Beautiful Lies About Jesus”. Do it, or you’ll go straight to hell. Art Building (1.102) 7-9 PM

tHe sCHedUle

YoUr GUide to All tHinGs BUrnt orAnGe. BrIAN BoGArt

tHURsdaY, deC 1

fRidaY, deC 2

M swim & Dive

W swim & Dive

Texas Invitational, Austin, Texas, All Day

W swim & Dive

W volleyball

Texas Invitational, Austin, Texas, All Day

Texas State, Austin, Texas, TBA

NCAA First and Second Rounds, TBA, TBA

M swim & Dive

Texas Invitational, Austin, Texas, All Day

satURdaY, deC 3 football

sUNdaY, deC 4 W basketball Tennessee, Knoxville, Tenn., 1:00 PM

Baylor, Waco, Texas, 2:30 PM

M basketball

tUesdaY, deC 6

UCLA, Los Angeles, Calif., 3:30 PM

M basketball UT Arlington, Austin, Texas, 7:00 PM

account executives David Avalos

uGLy sWeaTer parTy

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

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opiNioN

tHAt’s WHAt SHE sAid.

Photos and Interviews by Brian Bogart

What do you usually drink on a night on the town? AiR it out

deAr Hot CHiCK in line At CHiC-fil-A, HONESTLY, what is your deal? I know it’s not an accident that fate put you and I next together in a seemingly endless line with absolutely nothing to talk about and I’m beginning to think it’s some form of Divine torture for my sins. Really, what are we supposed to talk about? Some random observation about the SAC that you’ve already noticed a thousand times? The real cruel part is if I strike out in that one attempt, it’s totally over and then it just becomes really uncomfortable for both of us to be near each other. If I strike gold too early and can’t keep the momentum of the conversation going, it’ll seem weird for me to randomly ask for your phone number after a minute or two goes by without us talking. Yeah, ok, so maybe I’ve thought about this more than once, but dammit there’s more than one of you out there making life miserable for guys who just want to have a nice conversation. So next time you’re in line and you see a guy who seems like he might be interested, try striking up a conversation with him for a change. You might be surprised by what he has to say.

“Usually whenever I go out, I’m out dancing and the first thing I want is water.”

“I like to have a gin and tonic because it is refreshing and citrusy and good.”

like about living in the dorms is less so. 4. Powerful language – At UWeekly, we write our own rules. We’re down to say a naughty word now and again. But there is a huge difference between the rare, well–placed profanity and a barely literate Youtube comment. Your critiques should be at least a little bit more cutting than “blah blah blah is a *@#&!!!” 5. to Whom it may Concern – Air It Out is publishing your open letters, so don’t forget to address them as such. Did some douche lose his lunch the last time you rode the E–Bus? Then open with “Dear Dude Who Barfed on the Bus.” And just because we’re not giving out your name doesn’t mean you can’t let him know who it’s from. Just sign it, “Sincerely, Everyone Else on the Bus.”

“I’m drinking anything with vodka but I’m not picky.”

“I usually drink either a rum and coke or a good beer. And I mean like a good beer. Like an imported, good craft beer.”

Please send all Air It Out submissions to airitout@uweeklyaustin.com

Monica castellanos

stephanie Lawson

emily boykin

Hot(ish) guy in line at Chick-Fil-A How to get us to actually print what you write. 1. everything anonymous – Not only are we giving you an opportunity to publicly air your grievances, we’re allowing you to hide behind the cowardly mask of anonymity to do it. So we don’t want your name. But we’re also extending that same courtesy to whomever you’re complaining about. If a wasted girl spilled food on you at Kerbey Lane, then call her “a girl.” We don’t need her name, date of birth, or UTEID. 2. Be Brief – Sorry would–be Unabombers, we’re not going to publish your entire manifesto. Short and not–so–sweet is key. If you can’t say what you need in less than 250 words, than you’re rambling, not ranting. 3. stay specific – There’s a lot to be annoyed about on campus. We know. But please pick one issue, not seven, and avoid digressing. An open letter to whoever keeps shaving their pubes in the communal sink is good; a list of things you don’t

Marissa forssyth

“I drink an ice blended English toffee from coffee bean and tea leaf. It’s delicious.”

Jen adams

“I drink Shirley Temples and Mojitos when I’m out on the town. Both are sweet and refreshing.”

olivia applegate

UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

tUrninG BeArs into teddies BAYlor GAMe Presents interestinG MAtCH-UP And BiG oPPortUnitY IN CASE YOU’VE BEEN IN A COMA, the last game of the regular season is this Saturday against Baylor. As remarkable as that is (where did the season go?), the outcome of the game is even more pressing. Granted, this final game doesn’t bear the weight of seasons past, when the last game was the final obstacle between the Longhorns and a major bowl bid. But it’s a hell of a lot more interesting than last year, and in terms of the outlook of the football program, it’s pretty damn important. For one, the outcome of the game has serious bowl implications. A win means a trip to a respectable bowl (think a game against Nebraska), whereas a loss relegates Texas to the

bowl equivalent of off-brand Spaghetti-O’s (think Northwestern at 12 p.m.). But truthfully, it doesn’t really matter what bowl Texas ends up at because it’s still a bowl that Texas doesn’t want to be in. Instead, what’s more important is the way the Longhorns are able to view their 2011-12 season. Was it a success or a failure? A win against Baylor puts Texas at 8-4 with a chance at another win. Considering where Texas was at a year ago, that’s a turnaround tantamount to Kanye West’s ruling the world a mere year after dissing T. Swift. The Longhorns may not have attacked America’s angel, but watching them on TV last year was every bit as ugly. This year has been a different story, for the most part.

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It’s safe to say this season is a marked improvement. But if Texas loses to Baylor and then drops its bowl game to finish 7-6, there’s going to be a lot of lamentation on the 40 Acres and even more ambivalence when appraising the turnaround. However, a win against Baylor almost guarantees that Texas fans will look upon this season warmly. Now onto the game itself. It’s an intriguing match-up. Although Robert Griffin III suffered a concussion Saturday, it’s more than likely he’ll play. The dude is a Heisman hopeful and, with promising NFL prospects, this is probably his last home game. Unless the concussion caused the loss of his hippocampus, he’s going to be out there, and that means offensive fireworks. RG3, as he’s known, is the most electrifying player in college football. He’s like a more complete Denard Robinson, and he’s one of the only players in college football to be able to take over games and single-handedly direct their outcomes. If you’ve seen the highlights from his game against OU then it’s a waste of space for me to write anything more. And if not, well, go look them up. They’re awesome.

But here comes the intrigue: Texas’ defense has come out of the woodwork and established itself as a top-five force. (Announcers during the A&M game went so far as to label Texas a top three defense, but there was so much jock-sniffing throughout the entire commentary that I thought Craig James was going to ask Manny Diaz on a date.) It’is damn good and they couldn’t be hotter. What’s most striking has been the play of the secondary. Against Oklahoma, just over a month ago, Quandre Diggs and Carrington Byndum looked like they had been blinded by misapplied eye black. In fact, it probably would’ve been better if that were the case. But now the two youngsters look like the heirs apparent to Texas’ unprecedented secondary reputation. Byndum and Diggs simply shut down all of A&M’s weapons. Weapons that some consider the best receiving corps in the country. The rise of the secondary, along with the superb play of the defensive line (Jackson Jeffcoat, Alex Okafor, and Kheeston Randall in particular) means that RG3 is in for quite the test. It’s hard to predict who’ll win the

ConsiderinG WHere teXAs WAs At A YeAr AGo, tHAt’s A tUrnAroUnd tAntAMoUnt to KAnYe West’s rUlinG tHe World A Mere YeAr After dissinG t. sWift.

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

battle, but at the least, Texas should keep Griffin contained enough so our offense has a legitimate shot at winning. Speak of the devil! It’s downright impressive that we were able to beat A&M, a good team, with no semblance of a passing game. 110 QB passing yards, most of which came during the last drive, is practically nothing in a quarterback-oriented conference. But what’s encouraging is that Case seems to have the Tebow knack for getting it done. He also doesn’t commit turnovers, which is vital. Luckily for UT, Baylor’s defense is even worse than our passing game. The Bears are ranked a paltry 110th in terms of points scored against. Malcolm Brown looked sluggish against A&M but if he’s healthy come Saturday he’ll absolutely tear apart the Bears’ defense. The same can be said for Joe Bergeron, but his status is still undetermined and UT is keeping a tight lid on it. If we have both backs we’ll score at will. If not, well, it’s going to be a battle. Still, Case will do enough to deliver the win. final score: Texas 31, Baylor 28.

ryAN BEtorI

tHE HiGHliGHt reel Texas fight! Texas fight! And it’s goodbye to A&M. Yes, the 118th (and perhaps final) installment of the Ut-a&m rivalry ended fittingly with a last-second field goal from Justin Tucker to seal the game for the Horns. As of now, no one knows for sure what the future holds for the long-time rivals, given A&M’s imminent departure to the SEC, but a number of boosters (including Red McCombs, ever heard of him?) don’t want to see the game end and are doing everything in their power to make sure the two programs stay rivals. Whether or not that actually happens is one story, but for Longhorns everywhere this is a sweet, and potentially final, goodbye to a program that hates us more than we love ourselves, so to that I say “Hook ‘Em!” Speaking of which, didn’t the texas band just look just awesome in taking the high road and spelling out “Thanks ATM” while playing “Thanks for the Memories” during their half-time show? Granted, I’m certainly not taking the high road by gloating about it, but dammit someone has to point out just how humble we are.

If you’re familiar with the Johnny Cash song “Boy Named Sue” then you can easily justify the actions of the Lion’s defensive tackle, Ndamakung suh, after he stomped on a Green Bay linebacker just seconds after stopping the Packers on a 3rd and goal. Two plays after Suh’s ejection from the game, the Packers scored and never stopped pouring it on after that, further strengthening Green Bay’s stranglehold of the NFC North and turning Suh into the villain. But that should come as no surprise as Johnny Cash said it best: if you’re a boy named “Suh,” you’re going to want to kick someone’s ass. Is it safe to come out of my NBA Lockout bomb shelter? Wait, what? You mean it is?! YoU meaN tHe NBa loCKoUt is oVeR?! Rejoice fellow basketball lovers, because a 66-game NBA season is finally upon us and, given the time it took to work out a deal, it looks like the playoffs might bleed into the latter part of the summer season. This resonates as good news for the many people

who want to watch more than just baseball for three months at a time. It’s been one hell of an up-and-down season for the Cowboys, but for the first time this year, they find themselves a half-game ahead in the NFC East, bringing themselves that much closer to the playoffs. Even with all the success the ‘Boys are finding in winning four in a row, however, I don’t think they should be so hesitant in drafting a quarterback early in the next draft. This is an extremely talented class of pro-prospect quarterbacks and even if Tony Romo has been delivering for the most part this year, Big D needs to realize that their QB roster has to consist of more than just a solid starter, a senior citizen, and an underachieving former Aggie. Extra incentive for Dallas to make into the playoffs this year? A running bet I made with a friend of mine who’s a vehement Packers fan and avid Cowboys hater. For once this season, however, things are starting to look my way.

BrIAN BoGArt

HoW to soUnd likE A spoRts fAN tHE pERfECt WAY to feiGn sPorts CoMPetenCY BEING A SPORTS WRITER ISN’T ALL that difficult. You know why? Because faking sports acumen is about as tough as saying “southpaw.” And yet, it’s important nonetheless. Whether you like it or not, sports are an integral part of our culture, and therefore an integral part of American conversation. You don’t have to be Michael Wilbon, but you also don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of your future father-in-law or a cute boyfriend whose best childhood memories are at a ballpark. So, to keep domestic relations unruffled, I’ve compiled sports phrases that make you look like you know what you’re talking about (even if you don’t).

footBAll “But he’s got great intangibles” Any time you see a football player who looks like Bilbo Baggins among a drove of giants, this should be your go-to phrase. All you have to do is consult a dictionary to figure out the dearth of complexity that permeates this idiom. Whereas tangibles pertain to athleticism, intangibles pertain to mental fortitude that would make your grandpa gush. The problem? Since intangibles are intangible, it’s impossible to know who has them and who doesn’t, particularly if you’re a fan who’s never talked to or even breathed on the player in question. And because it makes no sense, it’s ideal to use in almost any situation so long as the player you’re referring to looks a bit out of place.

“trickeration” I actually used this word in my other article so it’s a prime example of sports pretension (cue self-deprecation). Truthfully, I have no idea how this word wound up in the sports lexicon, because, well, it’s not a word. Trickeration refers to trick plays, which is basically any play that looks really goofy. So when a goofy play occurs, make sure to utilize trickeration because only philistines will be caught saying “trick play.”

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

“You know, you have to question his clock management” When the game is the final two minutes and the team with the ball is down, this expression is money. Since there’s only two minutes left, the team that is down has to take full advantage of every second. This means coaches have to artistically use their time-outs at the exact right time. And the thing is, they usually do. Very rarely have I watched a football game and felt that the coach’s omission of a time-out cost his team the game. But if your team happens to lose, bust this baby out.

BAsKetBAll “His potential has no ceiling” When speculating about basketball, there is one word to rule them all. That word is “potential”. Everybody from coaches down to water boys is absolutely obsessed with the word. As much as potential means

“He’s got such a high basketball iQ” This is the basketball equivalent of football’s “intangibles” quip, but it’s arguably better because it seems more specific. The phrase means “he is smart at basketball,” whatever that means. This term is used for players who look blatantly unathletic and who are good at passing. In other words, utilize this when a guy has been in the whole game but hasn’t scored

tHis REfERs to A lEft-HANdEd pitCHER. i HAvE No idEA WHY. BUt Use it WitHoUt disCretion. iN fACt, You sHould NEvER CAll A lEftHANdEd pitCHER ANYtHiNg otHER tHAN A soutHpAW. someone has the capacity, and perhaps the likelihood, to be really good, it is also a well-disguised euphemism for defending a player who perennially underperforms. The formula for this word is so simple that even a toddler could master it. Whenever you see someone incredibly tall, who has even longer limbs, and who makes the ground below his feet look like a trampoline, just use the phrase! In the odd case that all the potential is being tapped it still doesn’t matter! After all, fans have the unfortunate proclivity of expecting more out of players than is reasonable and/or humanly possible.

a single point. The more a player talks to his teammates and pats them on their asses, the better the chance that this phrase becomes applicable. It’s also pretty standard praise for white dudes, and if they have shaggy hair it’s a dead giveaway so don’t hesitate.

BAseBAll “Walk-off home run” Perhaps the silliest, most superfluous phrase in all of sports. A walk-off home run is just baseball purist code for a home run hit by the home team in the final inning to win the game. Now, although this home

run doesn’t really need a distinct name, I can understand the desire to do so because that’s a fairly dense definition. But why “walk-off?” Wouldn’t “winning” be an adequate and more appropriate word to replace “walk-off?” At any rate, it is what it is, so take advantage and make sure to drop this phrase when the home team hits the gamewinning home run. Want bonus points? If the visiting team hits a home run that turns out to be game-winning and someone calls it a walk-off home run, call them out! Walk-off only refers to the home team, jackass.

“Can of corn” For real. There’s even a place for a midwestern crop in the baseball vernacular. A can of corn is a ball hit to the outfield that is very easy to catch. I suppose cans of corns are easy to catch, but so too are balls that are simply referred to as an “easy pop fly.” This idiom won’t do anything to enhance your reputation as a baseball intellect, but it will exhibit your undying love for the nuances of the game. Plus it’s kind of fun to say.

“southpaw” This refers to a left-handed pitcher. I have no idea why. But use it without discretion. In fact, you should never call a left-handed pitcher anything other than a southpaw. There is nothing baseball loves more than left-handed pitchers, so this is an easy and effective way to earn respect.

ryAN BEtorI

gAmE on ACtUAl AtHletiCisM Not iNCludEd OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST DECADE, the evolving culture of sports and video games have seemed to move in a positive correlation. An ironic fact when you consider that one pursuit requires people to push the limits of their physical ceiling while the other one encourages a noticeable lack of physical movement. With this movement only gaining more momentum, you need to know which games you have to play in order to keep your edge. For your benefit, dear reader, I present to you some of the finest sports games on the market right now. Just remember to stretch before you play.

fifA ‘12 I’ll admit it: I’m an absolutely unabashed FIFA fanatic. I just love it. The continuous action, the remarkable realism, and not to mention the immense skill it takes to control 11 players on a soccer pitch as a single cohesive unit. FIFA is, without a doubt, among the more challenging sports games there are to master, but that should not deter you as the personal

nail a game-winning buzzer-beater with Tracy McCgrady in NBA 2K, I even beat the living crap out of Alexander Ovechkin in NHL ‘11 and score on the subsequent power play. All of these feats pale in comparison, however, to scoring a game-winning overtime goal with Cristiano Ronaldo after faking out two defenders and slipping a finesse shot past the keeper into the upper right corner of the goal post. Even if you don’t know what that last sentence even means, maybe it’s time to find out and indulge yourself in some FIFA. You’ll thank me later.

MAdden ‘12 Not like football games really need a whole lot of publicity, as their sales tend to do exceedingly well on this side of the pond. It should be well-noted, however, that in a world full of imitators, Madden reigns supreme in the hierarchy of sport video game lore. It doesn’t even seem to matter to athletes that being on the cover of the game is a well-known way to curse your entire career, they still fall over

“it CAN bE quitE diffiCult to buY vERsioNs of [NCAA] duRiNg YEARs WHEN tEXAs isN’t good. but HEY, At tHE ENd of tHE dAY it sAvEs mE $60 ANd A littlE bit of sHAmE. EvERYbodY WiNs!” reward you get from playing it far outweighs whatever challenges you might face in learning the more intricate points of the game. Admittedly, I’ve done a lot of pretty awesome things in my day as a sports video gamer. Win a triple overtime game against one of my best friends/most bitter rivals in NCAA football,

themselves to grace the cover and no one is happier about that than John Madden himself. Even years after being retired as a player, coach, commentator, spokesperson, etc., Madden still finds a way to make his mark on the football world year after year and you just have to play the newest Madden to find out exactly how he

does that. The game thrives on being timely and chic, as every version boasts a sleek interface and very detailed gameplay, but part of what makes it Madden is that as far as pure football sims go, its realism is virtually unmatched.

nCAA ‘12 The collegiate counterpart to Madden’s professional football juggernaut. Gamers have debated for years about which football game is superior between the two franchises. More often than not, it sounds a lot like the recycled debate between fans on whether they prefer college or professional ball, with many football pundits favoring the overall faster-paced gameplay of NCAA to the realism of Madden. But at the end of the day, NCAA is everything you love about college football perfectly encapsulated in full-on pixelated glory. The only real knock on NCAA, though, is that since the athletes in it are technically “amateurs” (ahem), the game isn’t allowed to use their real names or information, which can luckily be fixed with some minor online modifications. For this writer, however, it can be quite difficult to buy versions of the game during years when Texas

isn’t good. But hey, at the end of the day it saves me $60 and a little bit of shame. Everybody wins!

nBA 2K12 Well, ladies and gentlemen, the war is over. After nearly a decade of EA Sports and 2K Studios battling for basketball supremacy after 2K conceded just about every other sport, 2K finally won the war after EA elected to discontinue NBA Live. Looking back, it would seem pretty obvious why: 2K has a more indepth feel to it, the players move a lot more realistically, and it typically comes at a cheaper price tag. But given the size of the EA Empire, it’s shocking to see anyone upend the juggernaut in a sport as popular as the NBA. Good thing the NBA lockout finally ended for 2K Studio’s sake, though, because thanks to EA’s monopoly on college hoops, no one there would have a job. Just keep doing what you do best, 2K, and let EA take care of the rest. But we’ve had our good times. After all, I’ll never forget playing NFL 2K2 on my Sega Dreamcast when I was 11 and learning my love of sports through my love of gaming. Try to remember those times.

BrIAN BoGArt

the icing on a six-game winning streak, captured the final Southwestern Conference Championship before it disbanded, and retained a spotless conference record (7-0) for the first time in five years. But it wasn’t done yet. Freshman Ricky Williams gave fans a huge taste of things to come, accounting for 163 yards and 2 TDs while quarterback James Brown stayed solid on a sorely sprained ankle. The game marked Texas’ first win in College Station since 1983 and it also put a halt to the Aggies’ four-game series winning streak.

1998, dKr stAdiUM, teXAs 26, no. 6 teXAs A&M 24

Photo: texas A&M Athletics

tHE bEst of BeVo RECouNtiNg tHe Best lonGHorn Wins ovER tHE AggiEs

THE BEAUTIFUL MALAISE of tryptophan intoxication and the sweet enchantments of pumpkin pie were not the foremost things making stomachs churn this Thanksgiving. It was, instead, the anticipation over the final chapter of the storied Texas vs. Texas A&M rivalry, which has seemingly been around as long as Original Sin. Households everywhere were on the verge of civil war; your Aggie uncle hurled strange hand hexes at your Longhorn father who probably just told him to shut up. At any rate, familial relations and overall superiority seemed to be riding on the conclusion of the game, and after a fittingly contested battle, Justin Tucker kicked a field goal to reveal the correct answer: Texas from the beginning, Texas until the end. In order to prolong Longhorn laughter and commemorate the import of the rivalry, below is a list of the best Longhorn finishes against those acrid Aggies.

1977, KYle field, no. 1 teXAs 57, no. 2 teXAs A&M 28 Games didn’t come much bigger than this. It was the country’s best colliding before a national television audience, which at the time was about as big a deal as playing before the Pope or Dalai Lama. The winner would retain national championship hopes and the

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

loser would fall in front of millions of eager eyes. In typical fashion, Earl Campbell rose to the occasion to further engrave his legend and secure the Heisman Trophy. The Tyler Rose blossomed in front of the entire country to go for 222 yards and 4 TDs (yes, Campbell singlehandedly accounted for as many touchdowns as the entire Aggie team). Campbell’s production was matched by his quarterback, Randy McEachern, who tied the UT school record by throwing for 4 TDs. The game was indicative of the overall series: A&M may win a few battles, score a few points, but Texas overwhelmingly wins the war. The whopping 57 points is still the most either team has scored in the game. UT? Winning.

backup QB for deliverance. Texas’ secondstring QB, Rick McIvor, only got into the game right before halftime. But he immediately made his presence felt, shepherding the Longhorns to an unreal 45 points in 15 minutes. An underlying cause of this offensive explosion was the 6’4” McIvor’s uncanny arm strength, which resulted in tying the school record for 4 TDs in a game. If all this wasn’t exciting enough, UT pulled out some trickeration to deliver the blow, scoring a TD off of a double reverse pass. Jaxon Shipley to Blaine Irby, anyone?

tHE gAmE WAs iNdiCAtivE of tHE ovERAll sERiEs: A&m MAY Win A feW BAttles, sCoRE A fEW poiNts, but tEXAs ovERWHElmiNglY WiNs tHE WAR.

1983, KYle field, no. 2 teXAs 45, teXAs A&M 13 The game bore some similarities to that of the 2011 contest. Namely, A&M got out to an early lead (13-0) and Texas relied on a

1995, KYle field, no. 9 teXAs 16, no. 16 teXAs A&M 6 Talk about being a menace. In this game UT was all types of frustrating, chalking up plenty of worthwhile anecdotes along the way. For one, the Longhorns put an end to the Aggies’ 31-straight-game home winning streak, which, at the time, was the longest in the country. In addition, Texas also put

For fans of our generation, this game is likely the preeminent contest of the Texas vs. Texas A&M rivalry. It’s the game where Ricky Williams transformed from a college student to a demi-god, breaking three tackles and a 60-yard run to break into the record books and the pantheon of college all-time greats. Williams’ run catapulted him past Ken Dorsett’s 22-year all-time rushing record of 6,082 yards. What’s perhaps more remarkable is the fact that Williams’ run wasn’t irrelevant, but was instead a crucial play in Texas’ slim upset over the No. 6 Aggies. During the game, UT looked more like the present-day Aggies, letting a 23-7 lead dwindle to being down a point (23-24) with only 2:20 left in the game. But fan favorite Major Applewhite kept his head and commandeered a drive that culminated in a game-winning field goal in front of a then-record-setting crowd (83,687). Appropriately, Williams was the game’s MVP, garnering 259 yards, 1 TD, and, of course, a place in the record books.

2011, KYle field, no. 25 teXAs 27, teXAs A&M 25 This game isn’t making the list because it’s recentness makes it more shiny; this game is making the list because it’s one of the greatest, if not the greatest, game in the series history. The intensity couldn’t be more fitting. As we all know, it’s the last scheduled game between the two, and thanks to the defensive play of Texas (plus Ryan Tannehill’s wayward arm) and the composure of the Longhorns during the final drive, Texas fans are able to get the last laugh and bragging rights forever (or at least a really, really long time). And it’s only appropriate. After all, Texas dominated the series at 76-37-5.

ryAN BEtorI

Photos:Sarah Vasquez

GREAT, I THOUGHT, ANOTHER INDIE BAND. I stood in the back of the crowd when the opening band SPEAK took the stage at Antone’s. I didn’t even want to be at this show. It had been four months since the break-up. My ex already found a new girlfriend and all I wanted to do was go home and cry. I didn’t even know who Cage the Elephant was, but I was talked into going by a friend who wanted to see them. To make things worse, I ended up going to this show alone. It was Dec. 1, 2009 during the year of indie music. It seemed that all I ever covered that year were copyand-paste versions of the typical indie rock band. At first glance, SPEAK fit the description, but looks can be deceiving. I also thought they were still in high school with those baby faces, but the lack of x’s on their hands informed me otherwise.

I knew SPEAK would be a new favorite band of mine the moment they performed a spot-on cover of “Don’t You Forget About Me” from one of my favorite movies, The Breakfast Club. After their set, I spent my time during the second band to gather the courage for an interview. I wanted to know more about them and they were standing right behind me. Once the second band finished, I turned around and quickly decided who would be the most approachable member before they noticed I was staring at them. There stood Nick Hurt, the guitarist. He’s probably the tallest of the group and definitely looks the youngest. His lanky frame, blackrimmed glasses and short, thin dark hair reminds me of “Where’s Waldo?” All that was missing was a red-and-white striped shirt. I decided to walk up to him. Practically yelling my stumbling words in his ear, I told Hurt that I liked his band and that I was a reporter from Accent Newspaper and wanted to do an interview. “Did you want to do it right now?” he said.

Well to be honest, I wasn’t prepared, but I took it anyway. He gathered the other band members, keyboardist Troupe Gammage and drummer Jake Stewart (bassist Joey Delahoussaye had already left for the night), and we went backstage to conduct a 30-minute-long interview. During that interview, I asked SPEAK what were their plans for 2010. “Well short-term, it’s redefining the live show,” said Stewart. “…to have a good presence in Austin,” said Gammage. At the end of 2010, the guys’ track record would include performances at Austin City Limits Music Festival (ACL) and VooDoo Fest in New Orleans, opening for Bob Schneider to celebrate Antone’s 35th Anniversary, winning an Austin Music Award for “Best New Band” (which included an introduction by The Talking Heads), releasing a five-song EP and getting signed to Modern Art Records. I think it’s safe to say they’ve succeeded their goal. And this girl was there to witness most of it. I never thought after that first interview that I would end up following this band for a year. A year that would have me tagging along for SPEAK’s first ACL performance. A year that would end with a special rendition of “Happy Birthday” sung by them for, you guessed it, my birthday. A year that would include 13 months of photos, blog posts and videos about this one band.

All that because I spent 2010 following SPEAK for a project I dubbed as “SPEAK for a Year.” SPEAK for a Year started off completely unintentional, but after South by Southwest (SXSW) Music Festival, I was crossing fangirl territory for SPEAK. I had seen them every month since that first show. I saw them perform one song in January for Free Week. In February, they released their EP Hear Here, for which I wrote an award-winning review for the Accent Newspaper. Before their debut album, I Believe in Everything, was released, that EP was on heavy rotation. So I included their official showcase on my SXSW schedule. Then when April came around, the idea for the project was swirling around my head. It was Hurt who unintentionally gave me the encouragement to pursue it. After he invited me through Facebook to the April show for the Groundwork Music Project, I went to his profile and left a post on his wall: “Hey Nick, you do realize that if I go to your Mohawk show this month that I will have been to a SPEAK

“You’RE REAsoN so mAN

show every month since December?” His reply? “Nice! Hmm, you should try and make it a whole year.” Thus, SPEAK for a Year was born. “I’ve forgotten that I said that,” said Hurt. “I’m sure that I was joking. I’m sure that I did not expect it, and it’s impressive and encouraging that you decided to do that.” Hurt is sitting in the backseat behind Stewart and me in the van. Troupe sits in the passenger seat as Delahoussaye drives us to his grandparents’ house to film the performance portion of their “81” video. I was invited to tag along so we could discuss SPEAK for a Year. When people hear about the project, they assume it was a difficult task. But it wasn’t. My only commitment was to catch a SPEAK show once a month and then write a review with a photo on my music blog, SoManyBands. That’s one day out of 30 or 31 days a month (or 28 days for February). That’s only 12 days out of the 365 days of the year. That’s not a lot, but SPEAK for a Year was all about timing.

E tHE N WHY i HAvE NY sHiRts.” I never chose the dates of their shows. The band did. Because they usually schedule one show a month, I had to attend the show that night, no matter what happened earlier in the day. And something always did. The most memorable was the September show at Beauty Bar. The day before the show, I was working in the Accent newsroom with the rest of the editors and the program that we use to put the

newspaper together kept crashing. We couldn’t get anything accomplished, so we had to come back the next morning to get the paper done. We finally sent it off to the printer around 4 p.m. After we were done, I had my first meal of the day and didn’t get home until 6 p.m. The show started at 9 p.m. During that September show, SPEAK performed a new cover, Prince’s “Purple Rain.” If there’s one thing to expect at a SPEAK show, it’s a random but great cover song incorporated into their set. To them, a cover song is another way to draw people in. “Even if your own songs are cool, people always attached themselves to the covers that you do,” Gammage said during our 2009 interview. Gammage mentioned after the September show that they tried the new cover that night because they knew I would be there. They didn’t want to play a cover I had seen before. As someone who saw many of their shows for SPEAK for a Year, the different cover selection and change in their set list was appreciated. “I also made sure to wear a different shirt every time,” said Hurt. “You’re the reason why I have so many shirts.” With or without the project, SPEAK is constantly evolving the live show so the members do more than just stand with their instruments. Gammage said that he’s always worried if they will give enough spice to the people that come to show after show. “If we go to a new city and then we come back, we try to remember what we played the first time and at certain venues, we’ll try to mix up our covers,” said Gammage. “I bet you couldn’t do SPEAK for a Year nowadays because we just unfortunately don’t play Austin as much,” said Stewart. It’s true. SPEAK has spent the majority of 2011 touring around the country, even playing two gigs in Europe. Their first national tour with The Secret Handshake in November 2010 unfortunately came

to an end at the Austin show due to low ticket sales, but they have since then had three more tours through the U.S. with other bands. “I think we’ve been pleased with the reception we’ve gotten outside of Austin,” said Stewart. “It’s always fun to play for a totally new crowd who hadn’t heard you before.” Even though the band is touring and all of the members quit their day jobs (except for Stewart), their current status doesn’t feel too different to them. “Jake and I have talked about this a few times. From an outsider’s perspective, it’s like, wow, you guys are going to Europe and you’re doing all this stuff, but we kind of feel like we just get lucky on occasion or things happen,” said Gammage. “We’re like, wow, this is badass, but we don’t really feel like we have achieved what we want to achieve yet really. So we’re waiting for that glorious moment where everything falls into place.” But Gammage said that what they have done is super exciting. It’s just that every time they win an award or go on tour, they’re always focused on the future. “More and better is always what we want to do,” said Gammage. The crowd cheered on Oct. 1 as SPEAK walked down the stairs to The ND stage. The CD release is finally here. It only took two years. “The short version is that it just wasn’t the right

time to release it and now it is the right time to release it,” said Gammage. I’ve been waiting for this moment. After all, this show was the grand finale to SPEAK for a Year. After seeing 12 months of shows, I already knew all the lyrics to the songs. Of course the morning of the release show, I woke up at 4 a.m. with a sore throat and an achy body. Another one of life’s little jokes. But I refused to miss this show. So sore throat or not, I went to the show. Of course, I came home feeling worse than before, but it was worth it. I can now close the chapter of SPEAK for a Year. When I look back at the year 2010, I will always

think of SPEAK. Although our careers lead us down different paths (they’re a touring band and I’m always working on my next story), 2010 will always be the year of SPEAK. Who knows when I’ll ever do a project like this again. So Joey, Nick, Troupe and Jake, good luck in your endeavors. Thank you for letting me tag along and document your growth as a band. I know this will not be the end of us, but I still have one favor to ask anyway. Don’t you forget about me, ok?

SArAh VASQUEZ

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CHAiN GAnGs bikE gANgs ARE tAkiNg ovER YouR soCiAl lifE, ANd tHE CitY Photo: Eli Watson

THERE IS A WAR BEING WAGED. On the streets of Austin, the battle between cyclists and automobiles has been waging since long before any of us where born. Luckily, the cycling community has smartly decided that there is strength in numbers as more peddle pushers are assembling in gangs, or groups, to finally take a stand against the injustices of drivers. While the above might not necessarily be true on the surface, bike gangs are making it easier to get out there, meet some like-minded peeps, and not end up like road pizza. One of the main gangs in Austin are the Skellies. Headed by the formidable Nam Phan, the Skellies function sort of like the Hell’s Angels of the Austin scene. The group is characterized by their cruel and disgusting initiation rituals and by their sheer force. At the same time, the Skellies seem to be more about putting a little more pain in your thighs than the larger generic social rides on Thursday. “People who love to ride should come ride with the Skellies”, said Pham. “Our rides tend

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

to be longer and challenging. We like pushing ourselves; it’s all about the riding.” If you have trained with Lance Armstrong or are just starting to take off your training wheels, there is no doubt a gang or a ride out there for you. “I’m sure some gangs take it much more seriously than others, but we are not about to get matching tattoos anytime soon; those are optional,” said bike gang BANG member Larissa Chavarria. Nevertheless, unlike classical street or motorcycle gangs, the animosity between the different factions does not run very high; no nunchucks or heavy steel chains are wielded with malicious intent.

Cycling gangs are just a great way of getting people in their bike saddles and on the road. “If you are not riding with the Skellies, then grab as many of your friends and go ride together, go ride with other gangs/clubs, just go ride,” said Pham. If the reality of two-thousandpound metal things zooming past you at forty miles an hour frightens you and makes you hesitant to go out, joining a gang or starting your own is a great way to sway that overwhelming sense of the danger that comes with riding alone on the street. “If you’re new to urban cycling, its a great way to get acquainted with some basic rules of the

“pEoplE sHould ComE RidE WitH tHE skElliEs. ouR RidEs tENd to bE loNgER ANd CHAllENgiNg. WE likE pusHiNg ouRsElvEs; it’s All About tHE RidiNg.”

road with the safety of numbers,” said Chavarria. While getting out there on your bike is good for your health and social life, it is helping to open city officials’ eyes to the possibilities of an even more bike-friendly city. The more cyclists they see out owning the road, the more bike-friendly the city will become. If you come, you will build it. “Hopefully the city will keep investing in bike infrastructure,” said Skellies co-captain Ric Reyes. “What they’ve done is a good start but they need to do more. If people get out there this will definitely happen.” Nevertheless, even though the gangs operate under the law—obeying street lights and other traffic regulations—they do have ideals on forwarding cycling in Austin. Instead of circling around city hall like a pack of sharks on fixed-gear bikes, they’re dreaming one ride at a time. “I dream of the day when we will have entire streets closed off to cars,” said Reyes.

WILLIAM BASS

one dAY After A soleMn dAY of tHAnKs, ConsUMers reMind eVerYone tHAt AMeriCA is terriBle MORE THAN ONE VIOLENT ALTERCATION was reported the day after Thanksgiving, or “Black Friday” as it is commonly known. As per usual, shoppers jammed malls and other retail outlets for hours on end to take advantage of deals and savings made all the more appealing by a stagnant economy. However, disturbing accounts began to surface as the day went on. In Los Angeles, a woman allegedly deployed pepper spray against the

crowd inside a WalMart, a man in Arizona was allegedly shoved to the ground and injured by security guards after putting a video game under his shirt, and two women became involved in a fistfight over yoga

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pants. Allegedly. In other news, citizens in countries torn apart by riots and civil war watched footage of black Friday mishaps and clucked their tongues, thanking their lucky stars they don’t live near such crazies.

Hungry, huddled masses across the country gave thanks on Saturday in the wake of an announcement from the National Basketball Association. The months-long dispute between the players’ union and the league’s owners has ended, and the 2011-2012 season

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

will officially begin on Christmas Day. Just as Saturday’s news reminded us what we should be truly thankful for (the privilege of watching grossly overpaid athletes play a game while teachers starve in the streets), the opening day match-ups between Dallas, Miami, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston and New York promises to supplant the “true” meaning of Christmas (something about the birth of Santa).

Only a few weeks after former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky was indicted on sex abuse charges, Syracuse assistant coach Bernard Fine has been let go from the university after a third alleged victim came forward to accuse Fine of sexually abusing him. Fine, who has not been officially charged with a crime at this point, was let go by chancellor Nancy Cantor, and longtime head coach Jim Boeheim, who has been supportive of Fine in the past, issued a statement standing behind the university’s decision, and claiming that he had no knowledge of the activities in question. At this rate, it’s hard to pinpoint the truth exactly. Is it the northeasterners, assistant coaches, or wealthy, grey-haired white guys who are genetically predisposed to molest young men, and when all is said and done, will collegiate sports boast a rap sheet that puts the Catholic church to shame?

JohN JArZEMSKy

ARRYN ZECH We missed a lot of kick-ass game reviews since we weren’t hear last week. Hope everyone had a fantastically massive Thanksgiving filled with crazy relatives and mounds of leftovers. This is your quick recap of the awesome games that came out recently.

Assassin’s Creed Revelations

to higher places and to aid in zip lining across streets and buildings. Bombs are also now included in the game. Throughout your time in the game, Ezio finds ingredients to make various bombs that can be used in combat. The types of bombs range from ones that spout out coins to lure peasants in an attempt to distract opponents, while some are your everyday smoke screens. According to IGN, though, the bombs don’t really seem to impact the way you fight against opponents. “Generally I didn’t find bombs to drastically change my approach to a situation,” said the IGN review by Richard George. “Countering and chaining kills, combined with summoning my brotherhood for remote attacks, is still by far the most effective way to dispatch foes.” Revelations does, however, continue on with the stories of Altair, Ezio, and Desmond. Desmond is trapped in a coma state that resembles something like a Matrix- or Trontype world. The story of Desmond though, can actually be skipped altogether without actually missing much to the whole game. Ezio’s love affair with Sophia gains more recognition and his quest to learn more about Altair goes much deeper than one might have expected. Overall, aside from its hiccups like Den Defense, the game stays true to the Assassin’s Creed name.

If, when buying Assassin’s Creed Revelations, you’re looking for a completely new look and feel to the Assassin’s Creed series, you’re going to be disappointed. Assassin’s Creed Revelations reflects is predecessors in the style of the game. Though the location is different, occurring in Constantinople instead of the everfamiliar streets of Italy, the general building design and atmosphere breeds basically the same feeling. Revelations doesn’t exactly create a whole new game, which I guess is to be expected, but rather takes the Assassin’s Creed that we’re acquainted with and adds tweaks here and there. One of the larger new features of the game is something called “Den Defense.” This is probably one of the silliest things that Ubisoft could have put into this game, especially considering how many Assassin’s Creed games have come before it that familiarize the player with the style of the game. Den Defense, in essence, is that Tower Defense game I cannot begin to tell you for your phone. This how freaking stoked I style of game clearly Unless you’ve am to actually own this does not belong in game, though it came Assassin’s Creed and managed to learn to out on the 15th. Halo: actually makes for fishtail and donut to your Combat Evolved is, a terrible break in advantage, this game is going in essence, a pretty story, gameplay, version of the original and feeling of the to be a bit of a nuisance Halo game. 343 has overall game. after playing the sequels gone in and did an Some of the new to the original Halo. overhaul on the graphics weapons features of the game. The game that the game offers itself has not changed, nor, include a hook blade technically have the locations you used by Ezio. The blade is a play in, they’re just more up-to-date. A cool modification from the original wrist blade and is used to help propel Ezio’s reach feature that was installed in the game is the

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary

ability to switch back and forth between the old version and the new revamped version of the game with just a simple button push on your controller. 343 has done a beautiful job with this task. It’s not something they just threw together, but rather spent a good amount of thought and effort to make the game true to itself while still having that new car smell to it. You’d think that having to replay the entire campaign of Halo I would be a sort of mundane task, but revisiting your introduction to Master Chief with these new graphic improvements would, instead, be more comparable to an intriguing adventure. Some things, though, have not changed. The vehicles, for instance, are still very much a trick to control. Unless you’ve managed to learn to fishtail and donut to your advantage, this game is going to be a bit of a nuisance after playing the sequels to the original Halo. The multiplayer to the game is different than before. Like the original Halo, because Xbox Live wasn’t available at the time, it offers a system link for dual campaigns and 16player LAN parties. The game offers new and improved maps of familiar places such as Battle Canyon/Beaver Creek and Hang ’em High/ High Noon as well as others from various Halo games. For those of you who are bummed that you won’t be able to play online, don’t get your panties in a bunch. The game also offers the ability to play online through the Halo: Reach engine with the maps that are offered in the Combat Evolved package. Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary is

something that every Halo fan should have in their game collection.

Minecraft for your pockets For some less hard-hitting news, though some of you might disagree, the pocket version of Minecraft is now in its alpha testing phase. For those of you who aren’t sure what that means, basically now more people are able to play the game with fewer bugs than it had before. The general feel of the game is just about the same as the PC version of it, though it’s obviously been set to be easily played with a touch screen. There is a difference though. The pocket edition offers a mode that the original does not. It comes with a “somewhat limited Creative Mode” where in which instead of sheering sheep and taking the time to dye wools to colors of your choice you’re given unlimited multicolored wool options. It also lacks those fun monsters that creep around like the skeleton and the infamous Creeper. A drawback to the mobile version is its lack of visible distance. Instead of the cool 8-bit scenery that you get in the PC version, you’re stuck with a dense fog keeping you from enjoying one of the cooler aspects of the game. What makes up for the distance bummer is the game’s multiplayer mode. If there is someone on the same wi-fi as you are, you’re able to play in the same world. That’s a pretty cool, but what are the odds of the hot girl next you on the bus playing Minecraft too? UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

PrisM HoW to tEll WHEN You’RE JUst eXPeriMentinG ANd WHEN You’RE ACtUAllY GAY THIS IS COLLEGE, and the rise of homosexual experimentation is legendary. But there’s a fine line between a drunken blowjob and a true integration of homosexuality into your everyday identity, and that line can be hard to identify. With gay rights issues becoming such a mainstream topic of conversation, the standards of taboo are changing and it might be harder and harder to take a definitive stand on the subject. When assessing your own propensity for homosexuality, it’s important to remember that many great American figures have either been homosexual or have had theorized that most people are far more bisexual than they care to admit. Such people include Alfred Kinsey and Gore Vidal. Here are a few benchmarks to consider when trying to determine if last night’s sexcapade was simply a one-off or there’s something more to consider.

WHAt is gAY to You? How do you define gay, bisexual and transgender? Get clear on what “being gay” means to you. Also, consider what being an openly gay member of society looks like and what that would look like for you. In what ways would your lifestyle change if you didn’t keep certain parts of yourself a secret from others? If you’ve ever fantasized about another member of your sex, it doesn’t necessarily make you gay. If you’ve ever fooled around with another member of your sex, it doesn’t necessarily make you gay. But if you, perchance, have more samesex fantasies than you have heterosexual ones, you might want to consider the obvious. That’s also true for sexual or romantic acts. How did you feel when being sexual or romantic with the opposite sex? Was it biologically thrilling, was it emotionally unfulfilling, did it feel like a chore? Romance and sex should ignite and unite your biology, psychology and sexuality. If there’s something off with your encounters of either

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

gender, you might want to examine why that is.

iNtERNAliZEd HomopHobiA It’s true what they say: the most homophobic people tend to be the biggest flamers (on the inside, of course). But then there’s something less talked about, and that’s internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia is when you might not be outwardly homophobic, even supportive of homosexuality, but also intensely uncomfortable with your own homosexual tendencies. Internalized guilt and shame often accompany this brand of homophobia. It’s usually something that other people around you don’t realize, because you never publicize an anti-homosexual stance. You have internalized homophobia if you aren’t sure how to react when the subject arises. Your friends are all talking about it and you don’t know what to say. You are watching a movie and two guys start going at it then you freeze with the fear that other people might be able to tell that you’re turned on. If you can’t act with normalcy when the subject comes up, it’s clear that it’s making you more uncomfortable than it should. Chances are, other people notice this too.

idENtitY Do you feel a genuine sense of relief at the idea of not having to cover up who you really are? Do you feel like a weight would be lifted off of your shoulders if you just spilled the beans? Do you feel like you couldn’t live a happy and fulfilled life without being sexual or in a relationship with another man or woman? If so, you might not just be just experimenting with your roommate, so you might want to start thinking about integrating homosexuality into your daily experience.

sECREts, liEs ANd obsEssioNs Different than internalized homophobia, you literally fear what would happen if you were to admit to yourself and others that you are

homosexual/transsexual/bisexual. If your fear of people discovering your latent homosexual desires manifests itself into lies, secrets and omissions of the truth, it may be time to think about why you feel the need to lie in the first place. If you spend an unreasonable amount of time fantasizing about the catastrophes that will occur should you live your life as an open and self-accepting homosexual, this is a clear sign that something’s up. Also, if you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the issues of sex, gender, identity and society’s prescriptions for what’s appropriate and acceptable, this is a clear indicator that these issues are important to you. Figure out why.

lifEloNg loNgiNgs Many times, the beginning of homosexual desire dates back to early childhood, either through inappropriate contact from an adult of the same biological assignment or through childhood experiments behind the playground bushes. Most people experiment as a child with both sexes, and those instances don’t necessarily mark one as gay or straight, but that is where many people’s sexuality begins. If your desire for others of the same sex date back to prepubescent childhood, there’s a good chance it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. This stuff is tricky, and it’s not easy to tell the difference between what constitutes as gay and what constitutes as straight. Be patient with yourself as you figure out your true orientations, as it is possible to have varying degrees of sexual identification. You also don’t have to figure it out overnight. Getting to know who you are sexually is an important part of trying to understand your complex inner world. Don’t rush it, and don’t be so hard on yourself during the process.

AMANDA ChAPPEl

Photos: SlACKEr MAGAZIN

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super Crossword

Crypto Quip

CLUE: A EQUALS D

This is a simple substitution cipher in which each letter used stands for another. If you think that X equals O, it will equal O throughout the puzzle. Solution is accomplished by trial and error.

WAIST OF MONEY

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

sudoku

tHE riPe iNstead of PiCKiNG any studio in the United states to record their first full-length album, austin’s the Ripe, comprised of drummer Nick Yaklin, vocalist/guitarist Jake Garcia and bassist Gian ortiz, traveled to spain to record at Circo Perrotti studios. the Ripe sat down with UWeekly to discuss the album they recently released on Nov. 27. they are playing on dec. 3 at frontier Bar with strange attractors and the Ugly Beats. How did this line-up get together? JaKe GaRCia: We’re all good friends and I knew these two guys were good players. So we got together and I had some songs and they helped me piece them together. That’s it. The band was born. did you know how the songs were going to be when you joined in? JG: Yeah, that’s right. NiCK YaKliN: Yeah, we definitely had a general idea of what we’re going for, kind of like a pop rock, ’70s rock and roll vibe going and Jake pretty much is a great orchestrator of writing songs. He led the boat. GiaN oRtiZ: I came in later. They actually had another bass player before I came in. But yeah, for the most part, it’s been Jake coming in with ideas, but we work very democratically as a band when it comes to the songs. We all write the stuff. He comes in with the basic idea, but we all put in our own parts. We had an idea of what it was going to sound like, but when we put it together, it turns out being something else and it’s working out. NY: We definitely developed a sound as we went. JG: Their personalities shine through really nicely in the music so it’s great.

NY: Yeah, me and Gian got a lot of eye contact going on. We like to free-style a little bit and have a little fun. Definitely helps. JG: To break it down for y’all. I mean for me, it was like Forever Changes, the Love album. Arthur Lee and Love and then a lot of different elements coming through the body like Salvador Dali or some surrealism and seeing different things, taking in information and inspiration, and then expressing it through the music, but there’s a big pop element too. I think when we started the band, we wanted to sound like The Beatles’ The White Album live, and we’ve morphed it into our own sound, really. Go: Yeah, I’m a rocker and he has very jazz elements. He’s all across the board so it’s nice when he can come in with something really different. We can bring in the jazz

mixing board from the ’60s and a lot of BBC microphones. Totally analog. He’s a nut. He dresses like Phil Spector with the lab coat and everything. Great guy and he did a great job on the record. NY: No headsets. All Beatles style. JG: Old school. Yeah, definitely old school. Nice in a chewy-in-the-center kind of way. Why did you pick that studio? How did that opportunity come up? NY: Well, Jake has been to Spain quite a few times with The Ugly Beats and gets to know a lot of people over there, and then this Circo Perrotti Studio had all the elements we wanted to incorporate in our record so it came out really analog. The feel for that record is because of the studio. It really helped out. Go: I don’t think we planned it like this. It was nice to go to the studio. He primarily picked that studio because of the gear. We’re going to do all analog. We’re going to do, like, the real stuff that was actually a real studio like EMI Studios and Abbey Roads Studio, but also what I think ended up happening was the whole experience of spending the whole 14 days over there just recording every day and just being in a place where you’ve never been before and having different food, being around different people, different cultures. To me, it opened up the whole experience to be very special and very unique. I think it comes through in the record as well. You can tell that the performances were really— You can tell we were working because we were working every day there. It’s a really tight record. It sounds fantastic. JG: I think it’s mostly the inspiration of being in another place that you’re not used to makes you think about the songs differently. SARAH VASQUEZ

“it’s HArd to desCriBe tHe riPe soUnd eVen noW... it’s JUst Good MUsiC. Good roCK And roll.”

How would you describe those personalities? What do you think you bring into the music? NY: Drums. JG: Well I think there’s a good melody and I think that they have a great rhythm section going together so I think it’s awesome. It’s perfect. Bass and drums and then me on guitar. We’ve tried other guitar players, but we’re all such good friends. We know we can travel well with each other. Actually Gian used to be my roommate. I’ve known him forever. Nick is my best friend so it’s like we’re family anyway. We’re like brothers.

and the rock aspects of it, and stuff. It’s hard to describe The Ripe sound even now, the way the new material is coming out. I hate to categorize it into power pop or something like that. It’s just good music. Good rock and roll, you know. NY: And the record we just put out that we recorded in Spain is pretty much, no song sounds the same and they all have their own energy. It’s pretty fun. speaking of that, i read that you went to spain. You said you went to spain to record. What recording studio did you record in? JG: It’s called Circo Perrotti Studios in Gijón, Spain. It’s basically in the north of Spain between France and Portugal. Beautiful studio. He has an old Telefunken

UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

Wednesday

Top of the Pops @ 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St.

No need to order Uncle Rico’s time machine to go back in time to see some of your favorite acts. The research scientists at 29th Street Ballroom have got you covered with their covers night. Taking you on a trip through pop music history, local band Neighbor will due their best brooding—and probably less hairy—Morissey/ The Smiths while Wildcat will bedazzle us with her Nancy Sinatra. The Bad Lovers will bring up their rear, bringing everyone’s favorite ’60s pop act, The Zombies, back from the dead.

Will bass 28

Ocote Soul Sounds/ Hardproof Afrobeat

friday

John Waters’ Christmas @ Paramount Theater, 713 Congress

Tickets: At the door

If you think that the Christmas spirit is antithetical to John Waters, you need to look closer. Cheapness, campiness, and an overall insidiousness are both part of John Waters and Christmas. Likewise, Waters is the gift that keeps on giving. Every year he seems to descend on Austin in a pink Cadillac for his one man vaudeville show. Expect a “devious and provocative monologue” that blurs the boundaries between normalcy and the taboo, all done with some good old-fashioned Christmas cheer.

►►Also Worthy

ST 37

Thursday Night Follies

Footloose (Dance Party)

Geeks Who Drink

Revenge of the ’90s

Norm MacDonald

The Megaphone Show

Grits and Gravy

Queen Sing-Along

Free Improv

Crooked Fingers

Love Inks

The Earlier than Late Show

Block Party

Fleetwood Mac Hoot Night

Tickets: At the door

The top events & shows in Austin this week

thursday

Beerland, 711 Red River The Highball, 1120 S Lamar The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Blvd ND, 501 E 5th

November 30, 2011 | UWeeklyAustin.com

@ Sahara Lounge, 1413 Webberville Rd

Who stole the funk? According to scholars, George Clinton’s Parliament Funkadelic’s mothership deposited the funk deep in the sea in the year 1979. Luckily, Ocote Soul Sounds and Hardproof Afrobeat put together a deep sea expedition to recover the funk a couple of years ago. Hardproof and Ocote Soul will put their findings on display at Austin’s best kept secret, the Sahara Lounge.

Esther’s Follies, 525 E 6th Elysium, 705 Red River

Barbarella, 615 Red River Mohawk, 912 Red River The New Movement Theater, 1819 Rosewood

Tickets:www.austintheatre.org

Barbarella, 615 Red River

Cap City Comedy, 8120 Research Blvd Alamo Ritz, 320 E 6th

Mohawk, 912 Red River Club Deville, 900 Red River

saturday

sunday

monday

Monday Night Mash @ ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Blvd

Mondays are probably the saddest night of the week. Hangovers, five days of school ahead of you, and, more than likely, an empty wallet. To your rescue comes the Monday Night Mash at ColdTowne Theater with three farm-fresh comedy acts to cure any case of the Mondays. Tickets: Free

Air Sex National Championship @ The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Guitar playing can often be compared to wanking off. A natural extension of this sentiment, and the national air guitar competition, is their ever-randy Air Sex Championship. Instead of an air guitar, the judges will place an imaginary sexual partner in the hands of the contestants. The performances will be judged on presentation, foreplay, costumes, and, of course, the eventual climax. So whether you are a voyeur or an exhibitionist the competition will surely induce some sort of “O” face. Tickets: www.drafthouse.com

Yo Gabba Gabba! Live! @ Cedar Park Center, Cedar Park

Society has always been searching for ways towards world peace. Well, look no further than Yo Gabba Gabba! If world leaders and members of society were to gather around and take in some of this show, all problems would be easily solved. The show functions as sort of a cross between Teletubbies, the Mighty Boosh, and some writers who probably watched too much Puff the Magic Dragon. Nevertheless, their offscreen live show is no doubt one to behold. The live show is kind of like the multimedia experience of the Blue Man Group, if they were twelve, mixing music, animation, games, singing and dancing. Tickets: www.cedarparkcenter.com

►►Also Worthy

Dustin Welch

Momo’s, 618 W 6th

Burger City Rock N Roll

The Grand, 4631 Airport Blvd

Big Lebowski: Quote-Along Alamo S Lamar, 1120 S Lamar

tuesday

Austin Slam! Open Mic Night @ 29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

►►Also Worthy

Frank Smith

Mayhem

The Wood Brothers

Wing of Valkyrie

Red Eyed Fly, 715 Red River

►►Also Worthy

Libertine Social Group

The National

Cave

Warren Hood and the Goods

The Wailers

CineSundays

The Dead Left

Mohawk, 912 Red River The Parish, 214 E 6th

The Loft, 718 Congress

Sin: What’s the worst that could happen ColdTowne Theater, 4803 Airport Blvd

The Austin Flea (Fleamarket) The Highball, 1120 S Lamar

Emo’s East, 2015 E Riverside

Austin Music Hall, 208 Nueces Momo’s, 618 W 6th

29th Street Ballroom, 2906 Fruth St

Stop slamming that door on your car and start slamming some words and rhymes over at the open mic Slam at 29th Street Ballroom. Tickets: Free

Mohawk, 912 Red River Antone’s, 213 W 5th Hole in the Wall, 2538 Guadalupe

UWeeklyAustin.com | November 30, 2011

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ONE OF THE NICE THINGS about being located just off of Dirty Sixth is that you get more freedom to do things with your bar. Without having to account for massive throngs of drunken college students, you can open earlier, hold evening events, even (gasp) have a night out with your family over some food and some football. That’s where Third Base comes in. With its location on West 6th, Third Base offers a friendly and inclusive sports bar environment with poker nights every Thursday and sports on every day of the week. It also offers very spacious seating, making it an ideal place to take a big group of people for a pregame before you decide to hit the raunchier side of town. But hey, even if you don’t end up going all out, Third Base is never a bad place to end up at the end of the night (and yes, that was a double entendre).

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