Edition 5: 2008

Political Parties profiled

Future of Zim economy

Spit-roasting

page 13

page 14

page 5

15 April 2008 · Volume 67, Number 5 · 021 650 3543 · varsitynewspaper@gmail.com

ready to rumble- the Ikeys and Maties line up with Francois Pienaar and officials to sing the National Anthem before the Varsity Cup Final last Monday.

ANCYL slams SRC saga continues SHAWCO Hallie Haller

Zerene Haddad

LAST WEEK, a controversial statement was issued under the ANC Youth League’s emblem and posted up all around campus including residences. It claimed to be in commemoration of Chris Hani on the 15th anniversary of his death.

The statement openly attacks SHAWCO and UCT as having a ‘liberal character’ and using ‘the same funds that make it to its coffers to bankroll the liberal reactionary’s’ (sic).

In addition, it states, ‘We are aware of organisations like SHAWCO, whom give our people fish and do not teach then how to fish...’ (sic) It concludes with a claim that, ‘we will convince, mobilise and act against the reactionary forces of this time. Which also include immobilised, reactionary and liberal black Africans… and many whites.’

When asked for comment, Jon Hodgson, Chairperson of SHAWCO told VARSITY, ‘We are not going to respond to this until we know exactly who wrote it.’ The statement is ‘signed off’

by Mosa Setlaba, a member of the Executive Committee of the UCT ANCYL. However, she denies being involved in the issuing of the statement.

The statement was written

by Nqabayethu Malghas (Head of Political Education), Luyolo Ngcuka (Head Internal Affairs) and Thami Hlatswayo (Deputy Chairperson).

Malghas told VARSITY that ‘we needed to put somebody’s contact details on the statement,

so we just used hers (Setlaba).’

He later said: ‘She deals with the administration and people who want to get hold of us. Its constitutionally enshrined, it’s not a deployment by the executive.’

Setlaba is a member of SHAWCO, which exacerbates the fact that her name was wrongfully used in the statement. Malghas indicated that the ANCYL wanted to bring the debate into the public forum. He invited SHAWCO to respond to the ANCYL statement.

Campus Protection Services were instructed to take down the posters. Many students are outraged by the statement.

Trish Moeketsi of RAG said, ‘As a development agency, RAG like SHAWCO, seeks to develop the future leaders of the country.

We were shocked and disappointed with the ANCYL’s disparaging remarks about other commendable organisations.’

Nicholus Tende Makofane, the Chairperson of SASCO at UCT, said (in his personal capacity): ‘With regard to community outreach, what we should be doing is to unite our efforts, instead of making comments which serve to condescend to others. SHAWCO aims to make a positive impact on society.’

Elvis Sekhaolelo, Deputy Chairperson of the Black Management Forum said, ‘We had no idea about this. We’re alerting the provincial and national authorities of BMF as they should know about it, since our name was used without consent.’

Garreth Bloor, Media Communications person for DASO commented, ‘It’s clear that this wasn’t thought out properly.’

TWO SRC members are currently under investigation on two separate incidents regarding laptops: The first involves the SRC President, Thulani Mandinginye, who reported an SRC laptop missing whilst it was in his care earlier in the year. The second involves a member, that cannot be named, who was arrested two weeks ago, after being found in possession of a stolen laptop.

Mandinginye is currently being investigated on charges of negligence and abuse of UCT property.

In an official statement, the SRC President claims to have travelled to Johannesburg with an SRCowned laptop for use pertaining to SRC-related duties during the November-February vacation

period.

Mandinginye said that he reported the missing laptop to Jerome September from the Department of Student Affairs immediately. However, Mandinginye did not alert Gideon Moyo, the SRC member responsible for the council’s property, which is required by the SRC constitution. In the Student Assembly, Moyo said, ‘I did not know the laptop had been taken.’ Mandinginye obtained authorisation to take the laptop from Jerome September.

He says that it was stolen after being placed in his luggage which went into the hold of the airplane.

The second SRC member awaits trial after being arrested.

The member was found in possession of a laptop, allegedly stolen from Liesbeek Gardens residence.

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy

SAPS, Campus Protection Services and UCT Student Tribunal investigations are thus far inconclusive.

Nevertheless, the SAPS arresting officer did clarify that charges against the SRC member could be upgraded to theft, pending the investigation. The SRC member has not yet confirmed how he will plead, and awaits trial on 5 May. SRC Secretary General, Thando Vilikazi, did not comment on the measures that the SRC would take, should either of these SRC members be found guilty. The SRC Constitution allows for disciplinary measures and/or dismissal, should an SRC member be found to have committed a criminal offence. At this point of the academic year, however, the constitution does not allow for the SRC to appoint new members.

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news

Volume 67 Number 5

Alessandro Rossi

Zerene Haddad

JUST over two weeks ago, hundreds of people flocked to St George’s Cathedral in Cape Town to grieve the passing of Dr Ivan Toms. He was a fearless anti-apartheid activist and celebrated gay rights supporter, once described

by Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu as ‘utterly selfless and a beautiful person.’

At the age of 55, Dr Ivan Toms, Director of Health at the City of Cape Town, died from meningococcal meningitis in his Mowbray home on 25 March.

‘The passing of Ivan Toms is a great loss to the people of the city, the province and the country’ said Mcebisi Skwatsha, Western Cape’s Provincial Secretary for the ANC. Dr Ivan Toms completed his medical degree at UCT in 1976 after which he returned to serve as the director of SHAWCO. In addition to regularly lecturing at UCT, he also assisted with establishing and running several HIV/AIDS student workshops on the UCT campus.

‘The University of Cape Town deeply mourns the loss of Ivan Toms - an outstanding South African, a fearless activist, colleague and friend,’ said Professor Ndebele, Vice-Chancellor and Principal of UCT. Ivan was renowned for piloting rigorous battles against HIV/

Photo courtesy www.iol.com

Ta Ta Ivan Toms

‘Assistance Fund’ good to go

Ivan toms - A former UCT student who pioneered social reform.

AIDS and Tuberculosis, and pioneered for the use of anti-retrovirals. Mayor Helen Zille said Ivan’s department was highly successful in decreasing the HIV/AIDS and TB infection rates in Cape Town.

‘We will sorely miss our colleague and friend. Our organisation has lost one of its most talented leaders,’ the Mayor lamented.

Although Dr Toms fiercely opposed the Apartheid regime, the South African Defense Force (SADF) conscripted him in 1978 to serve as a non-combatant doctor.

On his return from the SADF,

he established a clinic in the informal settlement of Crossroads, where he alone was responsible for providing medical care to tens of thousands of people.

After witnessing the atrocities of troops towards the settlement dwellers, he vowed never to return to the SADF. Motivated by this experience, he played a crucial role in the establishment of the End Conscription Campaign, a campaign that fought against the deployment of young white men whose task it was to support apartheid security forces. Later, he was imprisoned in Pollsmoor for his blatant refusal to join the SADF and endured persecution and intimidation during his sentence as a result of his homosexuality.

Dr Toms played an active role in the struggle against sexual discrimination in South Africa and fiercely campaigned for the rights of gays and lesbians.

To date, countless tributes have been paid by politicians, academics, medical professionals, activists and religious leaders alike.

‘I thank God that I knew him.

Knowing him makes (one) feel proud’, said Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

In 2006, President Thabo Mbeki awarded Dr Toms the Order of the Baobab in recognition of his ‘outstanding contribution to the struggle against apartheid and sexual discrimination.’

Same old thoughts on BEE Nabeelah martin THE SASCO School of Political Thought held a debate titled: ‘Affirmative Action: Redress or reverse racism?’ on Thursday.

Representatives from The DA Student’s Organisation, The Young Communist League, The Young Independent Democrats, History and Current Affairs, and SASCO participated in the debate.

All of the representatives agreed that there was a need for transformation, yet they differed on how to achieve this objective. Chris Ryle, the branch leader of DASO said: ‘We as DASO are not here to argue about the ends. We believe that the means with which you achieve these ends have to change.’ Ryle argued that the ANC’s policies of affirmative action and Black Economic Empowerment perpetuated the apartheid practice of appointing candidates based on colour.

Besides DASO, all of the representatives felt that Affirmative Action was necessary to achieve transformation. Ryle stressed the fact that DA policies and Affirmative Action policies are mutually exclusive, stating that the DA would ‘expand social upliftment and community development.’ Aphiwe Bewana of the YCL said: ‘The rationale behind BEE is to redress the imbalances of the past.’ The Young ID representative, Simone, concurred with Bewana, stating, ‘The legacy of apartheid means that previously disadvantaged translates to presently disadvantaged.’

Tara Weinberg of HCA argued that Affirmative Action should be used in conjunction with community development. Weinberg said, ‘Affirmative Action, if applied in isolation, is not adequate.’ Tende Makofane of SASCO argued that the policies of affirmative action and BEE are sound, yet the imple-

mentation of policies led to nepotism, especially with regard to the awarding of government tenders.

‘The people who are meant to implement policies don’t do justice to them,’ said Makofane.

Simone argued that once BEE companies reach a certain level of empowerment, they should compete in the ‘mainstream,’ and allow other black companies to compete for BEE tenders. Thus businessmen like Patrice Motsepe would have to compete on an equal footing with non-BEE companies.

The debate devolved into a racial issue when a member of the audience accused the DA of sympathising with white concerns.

Another audience member argued that it was not in the ANC’s interest to promote the growth of a black working class, since this would create ‘thinking voters’ who would consequently vote the ANC out of power.

Cake sale not so sweet

Intercampus

Nicole Jonklass LAST FRIDAY, the Freedom Front Plus student organisation (VF+TAS) held a cake sale at the University of Pretoria, where the price charged for each piece of cake was determined by the race of the prospective buyer.

According to VF+TAS, the cake sale was held to demonstrate the unfairness of affirmative action. It was broken up by the university’s campus security.

At the sale, white students were charged R5 for a piece of cake and coloured and Indian students were charged R3. Black students had to pay 50c for a piece of cake. Members of the African National Congress could receive free cake, permitted they make a donation to a ‘corruption box’.

According to an article released by the South African Press Association (Sapa), Hector Beyers, the leader of the VF+TAS at the Pretoria campus, said that ‘for students, affirmative action is a harsh reality. White students struggle

to get bursaries and admission for courses, while black students receive preferential treatment’.

In the article, Beyers is also reported as saying that it was regrettable that the necessary debate about affirmative action on the Pretoria campus was prevented.

A spokesperson for the university, Stella du Plessis, said that the university received a number of complaints about pamphlets the VF+TAS distributed at the cake sale.

According to the article released by Sapa, Du Plessis said that ‘the university was of the opinion that the content of the pamphlet depicted racial stereotyping that could cause division in the student community.’

Following a decision made by the university to, according to Du Plessis, ‘preserve harmony on campus’, campus security confiscated the pamphlets as well as the VF+TAS’s banner. www.mg.co.za www.sapa.org.za

THE NEW SRC Assistance Fund is now open to all undergraduate students who face financial exclusion and do not qualify for financial aid from UCT. The value of the fund is R67,000 and is valid for one year. Unlike many bursaries or financial aids that are on offer from corporations or UCT Financial Aid, it is unrestricted in terms of gender, citizenship or race and is open to both undergraduate and postgraduate degrees.

The requirements are that students have to be academically eligible to continue and in their 2nd year or above. Criteria considered will be the student’s family income and biographical information.

Yusuf Mowlana, SRC Treasurer told VARSITY that, ‘the SRC is very optimistic about the success of the fund. Certainly, for the students whom it is able to assist, it will make an enormous difference as they will be able to continue their studies at the Institution and hopefully complete their degree.’ In anticipation of

next year’s fund the SRC 2007/8 has budgeted for a contribution of R100 000 which will come from the money that was raised by the SRC during Plaza Week.

Implemented as an initiative of the SRC 2006/7, it has been continued by SRC 2008. The idea behind the Assistance Fund was to reduce the number of financial exclusions at UCT. Mowlana explains, ‘a phenomenon that was being observed was that there were students who were unable to qualify for financial aid because their family incomes were too high, yet they still could not afford to meet their fee payments with the result that they could not return to the university the following year due to outstanding debt.’

Students are able to apply by filling out the application forms which can be collected from the SRC office reception on 7th floor Steve Biko Building, the Student Financial Aid office or downloaded from the SRC 08 Vula site.

Applications for 2008 close end of April.

Computer says no Tatenda Goredema OVER THE past few months, there have been endless complaints about the poor service from Student Housing and Residence Life Department and, in some cases, the total lack thereof. Many students have protested that even after making payment, they still have not been connected to the UCT Resnet network. The majority of residences have not been connected despite having paid at the beginning of the year.

The disillusionment with the lack of connectivity in residences is often wrongfully attributed to ICTS when the SH & RL department is in charge of residence connection allocations.

According to the Deputy Director of Student Housing and Residence Life Department, Mr Glenn Von Zeil, one of the department’s Senior Technical Experts, Noël Adams, was acting manager of Resnet connections. The SH & RL department recently underwent restructuring and Tsebo Litabe, from ICTS, is now in charge of the technical aspects of connections to Resnet. This internal shake up has caused some of the residences to suffer connection problems or a lack of access to the network.

Mr. Von Zeil also states that although Mr. Litabe has recently taken over the post of manager, before working at ICTS, he was a resident at Leo Marquard Hall and therefore has the necessary experience and understands the intricacies of Resnet. Von Zeil also explained that some of the delays to connection were caused by some students not filling in their MAC application forms for Resnet correctly, thus sorting them out took a longer period of time delaying the connection process.

The Head Student of University House, Sipe Mgqibi, expressed his shock and dismay at the state of affairs and highlighted their lack of connection on a list provided

by ICTS in all residences designed to remedy the situation. He said, ‘a quarter of the year is already gone and we still don’t have connection.’

A residence IT representative,

Slow service delivery - Systematically reducing student morale who didn’t want to be named, stated her disillusionment at the workings of SH & RL: ‘What has happened is that Noël Adams has resigned and Tsebo Litabe has taken over. Tsebo has had to learn what to do and that probably caused the set-back as well as him having no one else to help him.

The thing is that the IT reps didn’t know what to do and weren’t kept up to date with anyone (at the beginning of the year). I don’t know if Tsebo didn’t have our email addresses.’

‘I can tell you for sure that half of my residence isn’t connected.

We should have been connected in the second week. It’s very bad.’

A first-year student in Leo Marquard said, ‘to be honest with you, I don’t even know what Resnest is. I’ve never seen Resnet, because I don’t even have it. I applied for it last term, I think, but it has never shown. And now, even though it shows it’s connected, the Internet is down.’

He also stated that the lecturers did not sympathise with his or other student’s inability to be connected to the network and access the internet.

Varsity

3

Fashion extravaganza Justin Andrews THIS WEEK sees the UCT RAG Fashion Show take Cape Town by storm. One of RAG’s most eagerly-anticipated events, this year’s promises to be spectacular. It is being supported by the V&A Waterfront, which donated R1.3 million, R800,000 of which is being used to create an incredible stage and ramp.

Andiswa Gumbi, a member of the RAG Fashion Show team

stated that, ‘the venue is mindblowing with the most beautiful stage ever, it will definitely be an event packed with style, elegance and class, enough to live up to the obviously graceful theme of Italy Through the Ages.’

The event is being held at the V&A Waterfront, in a magnificent marquee above the Break Water parking garage. The afterparty will take place in a separate marquee next to the main event, and is being sponsored by Peroni who donated R18,000, including

equipment.

Some people have questioned why so much money has been spent on a fashion show, instead of community upliftment, or if the proceeds of this event will even come close to matching what was donated towards its production. I guess we will all have to dive into our pockets and buy a ticket to see if it will indeed be worth it.

Tickets for the Fashion show range from R90 to R130, including entrance to the after-party.

Photo Courtesy Justin Andrews

Photo Courtesy of Justin Andrews

news

UCT’s Unsung Heroes - Nobody does it quite like UCT supporters. Anton Taylor (bottom) needed 17 stitches in his head after being tackled by security for his somewhat overzealous support at the Varsity Cup Final in Stellenbosch.

Next top models - these five girls are a few of the finalists from RAG’s model search, which took place last week on campus. They will be modelling in the RAG Fashion Show this upcoming weekend at the V&A Waterfront.

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Opinions

Volume 67 Number 5

Letters

Airing our grievances

I FIND myself, without any hesitation whatsoever, compelled to reveal my grievances with the powers that be, concerning certain issues that have been accorded negligible attention. Central here, is the decision to terminate the old Jammie Shuttle route that benefited the whole UCT student body, especially the middle campus lot.

It is my unapologetic contention that the above decision was irrational, and made without fully giving due cognisance to the adverse effects that would ensue. This is regrettable for law students and the common people, in view of the extreme weather conditions found in Cape Town. The decision to remove the bus stop by the Kopano-Woolsack bridge was contrary to the constitutionally-entrenched provisions of public participation and consultation that one would expect under the political dispensation of today.

The gross repercussions of this decision which are intimately connected to the introduction of the new Bremner route of a mere few shuttles fail to display any indications of having been carefully canvassed by the decision maker. One wonders where the SRC or law student council was! Furthermore, if the unsubstantiated fact that the stopping of the shuttles

caused ‘heavy traffic’ was the motivation behind the above decision, such a decision constitutes an unjustifiable and arbitrary infringement of the affected groups’ right to its legitimate expectation.

That the decision maker became divorced from his senses is consistent with reality, as the decision internally fails itself vis-a-vis its incidental objectives, presenting negative results. Firstly, the new route has a few shuttles leaving Tugwell at unsatisfactory frequency, causing gross hardships that are not conducive to learning, such as walking to Kramer in bad weather. This decision is arbitrary as it is to the detriment of one group and caters to another. They both paid for this shuttle service.

To those who may be tempted to think that a decision is alright simply because it serves the interests of the majority of the student body, may I refer you to the incontestable fact that we are not living in a majoritarian society, but in a constitutional democracy that envisages the inclusiveness and due considerations of needs of all.

Per Thato ‘Megas’ Marumo Vice-President of the Black Law Students’ Society

Response to Sexuality: A Fashion Statement?

I UNDERSTAND the desire of Anton Taylor to lighten up the paper’s tone after the more serious articles on gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender identity in the most recent issue of Varsity. And I get that the real joke on the reader is that, surprise, the stereotypical choices are not the ones that will lead the reader to the grand conclusion that they ‘probably are’ gay.

But publication of the quiz begs a question: Does Varsity want to be taken seriously as a newspaper, as one that ‘provides accurate coverage’ of the SRC and campus affairs, and one ‘committed to … equality and democracy,’ as your front page reads? No legitimate newspaper would have editorialized on media responsibility while running serious articles on homosexuality alongside such off-colour, and frankly unfunny, stereotypical jokes.

Disclaimers do not make jokes about ‘fuck[ing] up ‘queers’’ and ‘Up the ass till it squeals … like your men’ less offensive, even with the moralistic ‘twist’ ending. What audience do you want to attract? Are the gay readers supposed to ponder the significance of Sally Kern’s comments and the preposterous sug-

gestion that changing sexuality is just like changing clothes, then skip the humour page? Or will they just titter behind their assumedly manicured, limp-wristed hands? And in the case of Ms. Afari’s story, I suggest the editorial staff look up the difference between gender and sexual identity, and ask any transperson how he or she feels about dresses vs jeans. This article may be more problematic than the funny one.

I’ve heard of editors fired for pieces less crass than the quiz, and of writers doing more research than consulting a friend who ‘decided’ to become gay in Cape Town.

Perhaps the staff should train the lens of Nabeelah Martin’s most recent editorial not just on the SRC, but on its own content: To misquote her, ‘Individual writers may falter, thereby tarnishing the name of the entire newspaper.’ Consider the content before you send the next edition to the printer. Avoid looking ignorant and the people you want to take you seriously may pay attention.

Kimberly Chou

ICTS falling apart IT IS two weeks into the second term and we are still faced with exactly the same problems that we were faced with in the first week we arrived. Let us stop pointing fingers at ESKOM; at least they have come up with a solution to their problem. ESKOM has published specific times that people should expect load shedding. This is precisely what this university lacks; ‘feedback’ and ‘solutions’. We are clients of the University and therefore every effort should be made to ensure that we are satisfied – particularly in that we have access to the services that we pay for.

Life is becoming difficult for people who do not own computers, as these services sometimes do not work.

My main issue is the printing problem that seems to be non-stop this year.

A friend of mine jokingly said to me one day: ‘You know, if we bought a printer and put it outside the library and charged everyone R5 per page, we would make a lot of money.’ I laughed at the time, but when I thought about it, this is actually true, we are that desperate for printers to print our assignments on time! I am not an expert when it comes to computers and printers, but I still want to know what exactly was wrong with the old printers that we had? They were able to handle the amount of work on due dates, whereas these ones cannot. We have now become accustomed to standing in printing queues for more

than 30 minutes only to find that your document just has not gone through, or running around the whole of upper campus trying to find a computer lab that has working printers.

But this is what takes the cup for me; students who are in residences were promised Resnet since early March. We were told to send in our forms by 3 March, but we still don’t have access to the internet.

ICTS on campus was told (we do not know by whom exactly) that they may not deal with Resnet and we should rather forward our queries to Mr Tsebo Litabe (the Resnet administrator). But no one is able to get hold of this person, which has led many, including myself, to wonder if he really does exist. If he does exist, could he at least let us know what exactly is going on with res-net?

There seems to be a lack of communication. If we were, at least, told what is going by those that know what is going, we would not be as frustrated.

Apparently, last year students were charged R350 for Resnet; what exactly are we going to be charged this year? I ask the SRC or anyone to ponder about this or, if they already have, to let us know what they know and help us find a way forward.

Samantha Valelo

A point of contention...

AS AN IT student, I felt a momentary obligation to respond to ‘The column in the corner’ on 1 April 2008 issue. The writer, who is unmistakably an Apple fan, makes a good point about Apple’s iPod, which I agree is a good product in its class. However, when talking about laptops, he makes an erroneous comparison that I wish to correct. I quote, ‘While Windows machines tend to be black with all kinds of funky lights flashing around them, Macs tend to be white with a clean design’. He goes on to say ‘Windows machines look ridiculous and pimped’.

Let’s put things into perspective here: Windows, as it is called lately, is an operating system software designed by Microsoft. Microsoft does not make hardware for computers and laptops, but rather software for these devices. So, all those black laptops with all kinds of ‘funky lights’ flashing around

them are actually made by Dell, HP, Mecer, Acer, Asus, and Sony Vaio – not Microsoft. Furthermore, note that not all of those funky-flashing laptops run Windows; some people run other operating systems such as Linux, etc. So HP, Dell etc are the ones who are ‘pimped’, not Windows, if having lights on a laptop is being ‘pimped’.

A legitimate comparison would be between Mac OS X and windows OS, not hardware with software. Interestingly enough, lately you can have windows XP or Vista on a MacBook Pro and again you can install Mac OS 10.5 on any Hp, Dell, and Acer Intel-based laptop. I am not sure which one will look ridiculous and pimped now!

Lekometsa Mokhesi

Editorial Deputy Minister of Safety and Security, Susan Shabangu, in reference to criminals, encouraged police officers to ‘kill the bastards’, at a police imbizo last week. This display of populist incitement directly challenges the Constitution. Shabangu has stirred the masses into a froth, and spurred police on to blatantly disregard the law.

Predictably enough, many South Africans support the chunder which emerged from Shabangu’s lips.

Another instance of word vomit was David Bullard’s ‘Out to Lunch’ column in last week’s Sunday Times. Bullard asks us to imagine a pristine, uncolonised Africa, populated by ‘simple tribesmen’ who are still working on the wheel. He goes on to depict these tribesmen as having a nagging feeling of discontent. The story concludes when Chinese men in ‘big flying metal birds’ arrive looking for resources and cheap labour. The discontent of the tribesmen is eased as they realise that what they’ve been missing all along is someone to blame.

Bullard’s depiction portrays Africans as unsophisticated and ignorant, and paints a picture of African intellectual inferiority.

Simply put, he portrays Africans as stupid savages.

When this kind of racist drivel is published, it makes you wonder whether it should have been published in the first place. It is my contention that these views should be published. In Cape Town, there is an undercurrent of subtle racism which pervades. It is felt in sideways glances, and expressed under the guise of anonymity.

I’ve heard that the men’s bathrooms at UCT have all manner of racist graffiti adorning the walls. Tension builds due to all that is left unsaid. Personally, I prefer explicit racism to hidden racism.

There are some forums where populist or racist opinions should not be given much weight. Courts deciding to give gays the right to marry should not make the matter open to public debate. Giving equal rights to all citizens, including minorities, is critical to ensuring a constitutional democracy. The Constitutional Court should not take into consideration the will of the majority when the majority seeks to deprive the minority of equal rights. Yet the media is not the same as the Constitutional Court. Stifling opinion in the media is ridiculous. What is the media for, if not to facilitate debate?

Shabangu should have known better than to directly challenge the Constitution. She is part of the legislation, and is meant to uphold the supremacy of the Constitution. Bullard’s views, however, should be injected into public discourse, if only to stimulate vociferous opposition. The one commendable aspect of Bullard’s column is that he took ownership of his views, instead of hiding behind a pseudonym.

An email propagating views similar to Bullard’s has been making the rounds, and it can be found in the SRC political forum on Vula.

I would encourage students to comment on this thread.

Enjoy the edition Nabeelah

news gathering

next newsgathering 16 April, in LS 2C, during Meridian

2008 collective editor Nabeelah Martin, deputy editor Kieran Duggan, chief sub editor Philippa Levenberg sub editors Jade Cooke, Maciek Dubla, Dianne Shelton, Meg Charlton operations manager Melissa Rassie, images Justin Andrews & Martin Wilson news Zerene Haddad & Tatenda Goredema, focus Seamus Duggan & Nicole Jonklass business & technology Karl Thomson, opinions Tara Leverton, features Kate Collins & Jade Cooke arts & entertainment Lara Potgieter, humour Anton Taylor, sports Rory Holmes & Lindi Brownell finance & advertising team Philip Voget & Kimberly Urbaniak, marketing & brand manager Lauren Haller, marketing team Danielle Gordon IT manager Timothy Nchabaleng, website editor Emma Nherera, media school director Joy Waddel staff writers Julie Atmore, Erin Bates, David Brits, Lydia DePillis, Mandy Freeman, Danielle Gordon, Laing Lourens, Megan Lyons, Bianca Meyjes, Rémy Ngamije, Kayshinee Rye Ramchurn, Allessandro Rossi external contributors M Irfaan Imamdin, Inneke Laenen, Jaclyn Bernstein, Ts’eliso Menghena, Sian Adams, Berndt Hannweg, Nicholas Duminy

erratum

In the last edition, VARSITY incorrectly stated that Israel was still occupying Gaza. Israeli occupying forces moved out of Gaza in 2005.

VARSITY apologises for the error. tel 021 650 3543 fax 021 650 2904 email varsitynewspaper@gmail.com location 5th Floor, Steve Biko Student Union Building, Upper Campus advertising email Phil Voget on bosvark23@yahoo.com or fax him on 021 650 2904. Rates and other information available upon request.

disclaimer

The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the University or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective. The Opinions Editor reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 5 pm on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously.

Varsity

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focus

VARSITY profiles the three major student political organisations

ANCYL: Striving for relevance Lydia DePillis FAILING membership, a national chair who allegedly plagiarised from an NGO, and a conference that had to be postponed indefinitely to resolve doubts over the integrity of election results.

That’s what the African National Congress Youth League (ANCYL) looks like at a national level. The University of Cape Town’s branch is having a few difficulties of its own: It couldn’t even send delegates to last weekend’s conference in Bloemfontein, after a meeting intended for their election, failed to reach quorum. More generally, though, ANCYL’s leadership on campus knows it has an image problem.

‘The assumption is that it’s about militance, and almost thoughtless jumping, and that’s not it,’ says ANCYL chair Thulani Madinginye. ‘We’re a group of people that think about and discuss things thoroughly before we do anything.’

The ANCYL is governed by a committee composed of 13 members; seven black males, four women and two Indian men. To address the perception issue, the leadership convened a group of professors to help them strategise about how best to improve their image, and has launched a ‘marketing campaign’ to trumpet its priorities and achievements.

According to Nqaba Malghas, a third-year student charged with the organisation’s political education portfolio, ANCYL’s central mission is ensuring that UCT is responsible for the black population of Cape Town through

empowerment and education programmes – which the University has so far been unsuccessful in achieving.

‘They hide behind the banner of some student-led organisations, such as SHAWCO,’ Malghas said.

‘The reality is that they are not backed by enough capital, intellectual and financial, to make an impact. They have a fantastic spirit, but their work is amounting to nothing.’ If they were working, he contends, more students from those communities would be enrolled at UCT. On campus, the group has focused on fighting academic and financial exclusions, as well as advocating for finance degrees to be more applicable to South African rather than international markets. Youth League members have been deployed to the faculty committees in order to gather input and recruit members, which has proved difficult due to the depressed political climate on campus. Malghas attributes the lack of enthusiasm for the ANCYL to an overrepresentation of wealthy white students and a small population of poor black students who can’t afford to spend time on activities outside academics.

‘So you get a student that, although black, thinks white,’ he explained.

Madinginye, who is also SRC President, suggested that it may have to do more with leadership.

He remembers the head of the SRC in his first year at UCT as being inspirational, and subsequently there was ‘a lot more vibrancy’ on campus.

Seamus Duggan

‘I’m not the most charismatic person in the world,’ Madinginye said while sitting in his small barren office, an empty Red Bull can placed on the desk.

He’s in the middle of an SRC term that has been marked by scandals, from an embezzled Day Houses Coordinator to an inquest over a missing laptop. He says his greatest failure so far was working closely with the top four officers, rather than building a full 15member team from the beginning.

Complications resulting from the campaign, involving an ‘unholy alliance’ between the ANCYL and DASO against SASCO, have been resolved.

‘There was nothing I could have done by myself, it was purely a God thing,’ he remarked.

When asked what three things he’d like to achieve this year, Madinginye responded in generalities: First, getting students to ‘care a little more’ about social issues. Second, striving towards an honest dialogue about race.

And third, increasing communication between the SRC and the student body.

ANCYL elections should take place in the next two weeks.

DASO UCT: In pursuit of majority rule Nicole Jonklass IN MAY 2005 Democratic Alliance leader, Helen Zille, who was the education spokesperson for the party at the time, officially opened the UCT branch of the Democratic Alliance Students’ Organisation (DASO UCT). Nearing its threeyear anniversary on campus, the organisation today has 132 student members, which DASO UCT Media and Communications Officer, Garreth Bloor, attributes to a near-exponential increase in the organisation’s membership size.

In an interview with VARSITY, Bloor, who also serves as Vicepresident Internal for the SRC, said that ‘DASO UCT has gone from strength to strength’ and that every year since 2005 the organisation has ‘almost exactly doubled [their] membership size, as well as the number of votes [they] got in the SRC elections’.

One DASO UCT candidate was elected onto the SRC in 2005, two in 2006 and in the 2007 SRC elections, all four DASO UCT candidates were elected. This includes Gideon Moyo, who has since then relinquished his SRC position after allegations of incompetence and financial mismanagement were made against him.

According to the DASO Constitution, the organisation is ‘deeply rooted in the values of constitutional liberal democracy’ and believes that ‘education is the cornerstone of the liberation of South Africans’. Bloor said that ‘the branch’s role on campus is to be the ones who will ask the tough questions and take on

those in authority to ensure that students get the best possible education’. DASO UCT was able to secure the Academics portfolio for the 2007/8 SRC, held by DASOmember Samantha Ball.

Asked if DASO UCT has any particular alliances with the two other major student political parties on campus, Bloor said that ‘DASO does not have any alliances with SASCO or the ANCYL’.

He stated that the ‘closest that occurred to anything resembling an alliance of sort occurred when two moderate ANCYL members supported DASO and independent candidates in the creation of a multi-party led SRC for 2008.

DASO UCT, in turn supported the two ANCYL candidates (Thulani Madinginye and Thando Vilakazi), which according to Bloor was an ‘action taken to prevent a SASCOled SRC’.

Having the political advantage of majority membership on the SRC, is a benefit that DASO UCT envisages for itself. Bloor said that the organisation wishes to take the majority win in this year’s SRC elections. ‘In the words of Helen Zille,’ said Bloor, ‘our biggest mistake was not fielding more candidates [in the 2007/8 SRC elections], given that we won the popular vote. With 52% of the results concentrated amongst our four candidates, who constituted around 20% of those running, we should have fielded more candidates and taken a majority on the SRC, in line with the results of the student vote.’

DASO UCT enjoys a close relationship with the leadership body of its parent organisation, the

SASCO: On Apathy

DA. This affiliation has also meant that, like the DA, DASO UCT has at times been branded as a ‘white party’. ‘Our political opponents have levelled this charge against us many times,’ said Bloor adding that DASO UCT’s ‘activities as a branch and on the SRC in assisting all students is proving that any notion of racial bias is completely untrue’.

Bloor, stated that DASO UCT has a ‘vision for our campus and our nation that does not require division’ and believes in ‘the idea of an open society, which is a society that is not based on racial division, but on increased opportunity for all’. The Transformation portfolio of the SRC is the responsibility of DASO UCT-member, Tarryn Christians.

The organisation could not supply VARSITY with demographic information about its membership as, according to Bloor, DASO UCT believes that ‘demographic data is irrelevant to [its] vision of South Africa’s future’. DASO UCT’s recently-elected executive committee consists of one Indian, three Black and six White members of whom three are female and seven are male.

WHILST campuses across the country are overrun by student protests regarding issues ranging from high fees to racial intolerance, life at UCT keeps ticking with Swiss precision. This is not because there are a lack of pressing concerns facing our students, but rather because the average UCT student appears indifferent to what is going on both at UCT and in society generally.

The South African Students Congress (SASCO) sees it as their responsibility to mobilise students, so that they play their role in social progression. Mashao Moshabela, Deputy-Chairman of SASCO, feels that students at the University need to realise that they are ‘members of the community before they are students’. This is the essence of what it is that SASCO is trying to do.

SASCO’s role at UCT has never been an easy one. In 1999, the organisation was banned because they were perceived as too militant and radical in the pursuit of their goals. They made their political comeback in 2004/2005, and contested the 2006 Student Representative Council elections, after seven years in the political wilderness.

Since their renaissance in the University’s political structure, SASCO has not let their tainted history get in the way. They continue to strive for a society that is non-racial, non-sexist and united.

At the top of SASCO’s agenda, set to pursue these ideals, is the accessibility of the University to ‘working class students’. This objective is not restricted to diversifying the cultural base of future students, but also includes fighting for the rights of those students, from all walks of life, who currently attend UCT. Moshabela describes academic and financial exclusions as SASCO’s ‘worst

enemy’. In order to counter these, the congress are lobbying businesses to create bursaries for all students, most pressingly for those who were previously disadvantaged.

Moshabela claims that this emphasis on helping previously disadvantaged students has given SASCO a poor image amongst certain sectors of campus society. He feels that labelling the organisation as racist for these reasons is unfair, as the legacy of Apartheid has served to distort the distribution of wealth along racial lines. Therefore, he argues, when redressing this inequality, racial classifications need to be followed.

The communication between SASCO and students has also been singled out as a problem.

Moshabela believes that this lack of dialogue is largely due to the political apathy adopted by many UCT students. He finds this slightly distressing as, in his view, many of these students are at the University because of programmes implemented by SASCO and their partners in the Progressive Youth Alliance.

Moshabela has moved to assure students that, despite a lack of active participation in the progressive process, SASCO remains the vanguard of student interests on campus and has a significant influence in all departments - ‘All the offices on campus know about SASCO and its role’.

6

Opinions

And everything was going so well...

Seamus Duggan

On children: Let the condiments fly PERHAPS some of you have been treated to the sight of a young child taking it upon himself to push his head through the iron bars of a staircase, and getting himself stuck. What is always interesting is the reaction of the parents, who will, at first, approach the problem with the sort of level-headedness that you would expect from two intelligent adults. Perhaps if they pull him this way…no, maybe if they tug his ears gently…

The alarm grows steadily, as every potential answer to the problem fails to work. The expertise of several neighbours has been called upon. Perhaps butter will lubricate his head? No? Try floor wax, we used floor wax when it happened to ours. One particular uncle will sagely suggest bubblegum-cherry-flavoured, and hang up ominously.

The parents flail, trying to work out exactly whose fault this is. Who was watching little Simon? As if this would actually help matters. ‘For the love of God,’ they wail, ‘someone give us an answer!’

Two hours later, you will end up with a buttered, waxed twoyear old with bubblegum in his hair. But this is the interesting part; if someone suggests cutting the iron bars, the parents’ eyes obtain a mad gleam.

‘Cut the bars? We’ve had those bars for almost 20 years! They’re practically antiques! No, no, there must be a better solution. Have we tried pouring honey into his ears?’

Deputy Minister of Security, Susan Shabangu, recently encouraged South Africa’s police force on-record to ‘kill the bastards’ whenever possible. ‘You have one shot,’ she said, ‘and it must be a kill shot.’

Response has been varied, but there have been several voices who have expressed glee at the proposition. One can see where they are coming from. If we’re going to violate our Constitution as if it were a nubile first-year student, we might as well do it in a manner that hinders criminals as much as the average civilian.

A point to remember; nearly 700 deaths in police custody or as a result of police intervention were reported between April 2006 and March 2007. In this same period, 44 individuals were taken out by police vehicles, in pursuit or otherwise.

These are people so dangerously incompetent that calls for their being disbanded have already rung out, and reporting a case that is anything short of a severed head, is a waste of time and resources. Does one really want to give them a James Bond-type licence to kill?

It is easy to dismiss Shabangu as a rabble-rousing exacerbator, encouraging mob violence- and she may well be. But taking this particular speech in the context of South Africa’s crime situation, it is difficult not to feel some sympathy. 22887 reported cases of rape and an impressive 96499 cases of assault with intent to do grievous

bodily harm in 2007 alone are not to be sniffed at.

Why go for the butter and floor wax of relaxed police gun control? Surely there must be a more effective solution? The fact of the matter is, the Deputy Minister is doing the best she can with the tools she has. Perhaps if she were Minister of Education, or Housing, or President she would be able to attack the problem at its source – cut away those blasted bars. But she is not; she has been given a problem, and several jars of condiments with which to deal with it.

It would be nice if she could try and refine her officers’ aim; we’re not all criminals.

Like herding cats…

Many a high school student will remember the first time someone came in to talk to them about drugs. He would have been a gaunt individual, with bloodshot eyes and hair that had obviously not been washed, brushed or deloused in a fortnight.

And he would tell the story of his battle with drugs. It started with a cigarette. But then his buddies were pressuring him into weed, and after weed came crystal meth, and then came the heroine.

His girlfriend left; he lost his job.

He crashed his car twice and was eventually found by his best friend lying on his back in a pond, bleeding out of his ears and choking on his own fluids. One or two of the wimpier students would leave in tears; the rest would remain in solemn silence.

In yearsto come, some kids would shrug and learn how to inhale without choking. Some would bear the message with them all their lives, forever terrified of that one reefer that would damn them forever.

Several would consider the fact that this brave public speaker looked like a total loser, and decide that everything he said should be dismissed out of hand.

What a pity no one ever thought to bring in a nicely scrubbed up hipster who knew how to talk ‘cool’ to high schoolers, and let him explain why marijuana is safer than cocaine, and exactly how much alcohol the human body can absorb before it actually starts to pickle.

But no one did; enterprising students found out for themselves.

The luckier are still alive, and, thanks to chemical Darwinism, the rest have been weeded out.

A high school student in America has been arrested after the discovery of a list of people he would like to kill. Am I being unfair in saying that if you did not have such a list during high school, even if it only existed inside your head, you are a human newt? A creature so devoid of thought and esteem that finding a mud puddle is the highlight of your day?

The point being; young people are inherently dangerous to themselves and others. The best one can do is stand back and hope that everyone around them is still standing when growing up is over.

IN RECENT weeks, Southern Africa and indeed the majority of the free world have had their senses transfixed on the events unfolding in Zimbabwe. For the first time in a number of years, it appears as if the country’s octogenarian tyrant, Robert Mugabe, is facing a very serious challenge to his leadership.

The Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) and it supporters were able to exhale after holding their breath for nine years when they found out that they had won the parliamentary majority.

However, all of Zimbabwe was forced to inhale once more and prepare themselves for the worst as the electoral commission withheld the presidential results.

But what would these results mean for the country? On the one hand, if Mugabe emerged victoriously, the country would most probably continue its downward spiral and the threat of a civil war might begin to become a reality.

On the other hand, should Morgan Tsvangirai survive

Mugabe’s attempts to de-legitimise him and the war veterans’ campaign of intimidation against him and his followers, then should we ask ourselves where Zimbabwe would go under his leadership?

Unfortunately, African history has showed time and time again that when one despot is brushed aside, another simply steps into his place. Are there any assurances that this is not going to happen to Zimbabwe?

Morgan Tsvangirai can, at the very least, claim that he has remained an advocate of peace and negotiation, despite internal rebellion in his party from those who want to adopt an armed struggle. The implications of his chosen path are that he has been left without a significant military wing.

Not having a strong military alliance is of key importance in a transition. The new leadership would not have the muscle to hold on to power for longer than they are mandated. This may be an essential restraint to prevent the MDC following in Mugabe’s path.

Of course, if the MDC wants to get into power it is imperative

that they are backed by the current national armed forces, which are inconveniently controlled by ZANU-PF loyalists. However, should the MDC guarantee their futures, then there is every chance that they will come to some agreement over how power is to be distributed.

The MDC merely need an association of tolerance with the military. Once this is in place, the political space will open up for their own officials to move in and begin a slow takeover of the forces. Should the MDC gain control of a portion of the armed forces, they would become a dangerously powerful organisation that could use the country’s recent history as an excuse to hold on to power for as long as they wish.

The future is in their hands and whilst Africa prays that the Movement for Democratic Change is the real deal, we must at the same time remain vigilant of the threats that come with power gained through revolution. It would be unacceptable for Zimbabwe to follow in the stead of the other shattered countries of our continent.

Harry Potter and the residence myth Photo courtesy of farm2.static.flickr.com

Cannibal Salad

Tara Leverton

Volume 67 Number 5

Rémy Ngamije AFTER devouring Harry Potter’s adventures at Hogwarts Boarding School, it was with eagerness that I opened the letter from UCT offering me a place in a first-tier catering residence. I was ecstatic, certain that I would be living in a community of young, vibrant individuals, who like me, were not only at university to gain tertiary education, but to also partake in the many experiences that only a residence could offer. Brimming with the feeling of independence and anticipation, little did I know what was in store for me; convinced that the Sorting Hat at Student Housing had adequately placed me. What can I say? I was young, handsome and innocent.

One year later, after consuming one bland meal after another, I am barely handsome.

Hogwarts, as I have come to realise, is a wholly fabricated world invented by a very creative woman. There are no feasts held every night in the dining halls, just variations of chicken and rice, rice and chicken, rice on chicken, chicken in rice or cooked chicken with cooked rice or on special occasions, Chicken á La King, which looks suspiciously like chicken and rice (with a dubious white sauce). A foray into any dining hall will show that although we all eat the same chicken and rice, who we eat it with, does not comply with the many promises of integration. To put it bluntly, people of the tinted disposition eat with people of the tinted disposition; those who like Tin Roof eat with those who like Wadda. I came to realise that people in residence are divided into those that have ‘guest-list’ status at clubs and those who do not; a sign of how different levels of privilege determine social circles, even in a small community such as a residence.

A recurring theme - Is it possible to be chicken and riced to death?

Naive as I was a year ago, I was completely brainwashed by the ‘O-Week’ scam, where chicken and rice taste like they should, shuttles arrive on time, house committees have one party lined up after another and many students fall off the education bandwagon. With one nightly escapade chasing the next, my O-Week was a memorable albeit blurry experience; nights of excess and pocket money disappearing as tickets were purchased without a care.

House committees were cheerful, responsible and concerned individuals who one could turn to if sobriety was a disease that needed to be cured. Glowing with innocence and the flashing lights of a disco ball, first-years were flowers waiting to be plucked, F.A.F.Y (F**k a First Year) a favourite pastime for many senior students.

The residence experience was a far cry from Hogwarts, but a continuous race between Van Wilder and Van Wildest.

Fast forward one year and very little has changed. House Committees have ten-month mandates but only operate actively for

the first two weeks of the year, Royal Sechaba is still practicing its culinary arts on unwary students and the battle for Supreme Party Animals is eagerly contested between Shagwell, the Fuller rats, the nude Pricks of Lower Campus from Kopano, the monotonous ladies of Baxter, the aptly named Villagers from Clarinus and the other evolving organisms from Leo Marquard. Weak administrative procedures and lax rules allow the intoxicating haze of Vitamin Weed to float down many corridors and drunken revellers to announce their joyous return via fire alarms.

But not everything has gone to the dogs, yet. I have learnt some skills which prove useful in everyday life that Harry Potter would never learn in a century at Hogwarts; such as being able to sleep through the thumping base from your next door neighbour, or avoiding the complex mixtures of Jack and lime, chicken and rice and Black Label that did not enjoy their stay in the stomach of a student.

Varsity

Opinions

SA soccer’s biggest fans ‘Coming out’: AFTER a series of conversations with some of my friends, it appears that there is a lot of ignorance that exists in some sectors of the populace in this country with regards to South African soccer. A large number of people, including some journalists, have put the idea into their heads that South African soccer is absolutely useless and that the national team is going to be an embarrassment to the country and to the continent come 2010. These audaciously daft individuals also have it in their maladjusted heads that the South African Premier Soccer League (PSL) is the worst in the world. Well, this piece is for those people; hopefully, at the very least, you will try and change your ignorant mindsets.

South African soccer does not, as in the view of some people, ‘suck’. In fact, the South African league is one of the best on the continent. South African teams qualify to play in the Confederation of African Football’s Champions League on an annual basis and in 1995, the Orlando Pirates won the league and have been semifinalists and quarter-finalists in the competition. The PSL pulls in major revenue as well as TV sponsorship, and attracts massive hordes of fans to the stadiums in which its games are played. No business could possibly pull in sponsors or support if it was useless or obsolete. The PSL is also one of the most closely contested leagues in the world, with top teams that have been around for a long time such as Orlando Pirates, Kaizer Chiefs and Mamelodi Sundowns not even managing to claim the top three spots in the league this season.

With regards to the national team, it is true that they are not as good or as strong as they were in the mid-nineties to late nineties, when they won the African Nations Cup and qualified for

Photo courtesy of cosafa.com

Tatenda Goredema

Teko Modise - Celebrating his goal in a match against Mauritius last year the 1998 World Cup in France.

However, a national team cannot be regarded as useless when it qualifies for consecutive World Cup appearances in 1998 and 2002 and consecutive Nation Cup tournaments. Bafana Bafana did not qualify for the knockout stages of the latest Nations Cup, but they proved that they were not pushovers and that the transitional period under Carlos Alberto Parreira was indeed bringing change to the way the team played. In the 2002 World Cup, South Africa needed to beat the highly-rated Spain in the group stage to qualify for the next round, and only lost 3-2. Just a few weeks ago, Bafana beat Paraguay, a team ranked 26th in the world, 3-0 and yet some ignorant sects of people still say that the quality of South African soccer is extremely poor.

To further illustrate my point that some people have no respect or regard for SA soccer, we must look at the case from last year when, on several occasions, the Greenpeace environmental group filed a series of complaints against the new Greenpoint stadium going

up, even though its construction would benefit the city and province greatly. They presented numerous frivolous and nonsensical problems as justifications for the stadium not being built.

However, I believe that this disregard for SA soccer comes down to the fact that some people in this country view soccer as a ‘black’ sport and would rather have it stay in areas like Athlone rather than have it in their suburbs.

To prove my point, we may look at Newlands and what happened when soccer used to be played there. People around the stadium complained about noise. Yet when rugby matches are played there, more times in the year than soccer and with larger crowds of drunk and disorderly miscreants, you never hear them complain. Of course, a lot of people would say it’s because of the vuvuzelas, but at the end of the day those things can only make so much noise. I believe that it’s the type of crowd that soccer drew to Newlands that the residents of that area didn’t like rather than the noise disturbances they claimed.

Drawing the line Jaclyn Bernstein REGARDING the United States’ ‘War on Terror’ campaign, it is questionable whether or not there are legal and moral boundaries.

Under pressure from the American Civil Liberties Union, the Pentagon declassified a memorandum from 14 March 2003, from the Department of Justice last week. The legal brief was written by John Yoo, who at the time was a high-ranking lawyer in the Department of Justice. Its release has caused an uproar among legal experts, civil rights groups, and anyone with a conscience.

In the 81-page memo, Yoo builds the legal justification for the US military’s subsequent torture of detainees. He conveniently eschews scores of federal laws, international treaties, and what are commonly known as ‘laws of human decency’ as he comes to some startling conclusions.

Yoo claims that international treaties and American laws are not applicable in overseas interrogations. He then goes one step further and argues that even if these laws were applicable to ‘alien unlawful combatants’ held outside of the US, the president could override them, citing his power as commander-in-chief of the armed forces. In his lawyer-like way, he shields the president and military interrogators from public scrutiny and future criminal charges.

Goodbye, checks and balances.

Goodbye, Geneva Conventions.

Goodbye, moral qualms. Goodbye, American credibility on the world stage. Hello, secret prisons and ‘enhanced interrogation techniques’.

How ‘enhanced’ are we talking? Just your average stuff: Pouring water over a detainee so he thinks that he’s drowning (known as ‘waterboarding’), sleep deprivation, sexual humiliation, and the like. The most jaw-dropping part of the memo comes when Yoo starts to get technical on what constitutes torture: ‘Pain or suffering of the kind is equivalent to the pain that would be associated with serious physical injury so severe that death, organ failure or permanent damage resulting in a loss of significant body functions will likely result.’ Apparently, simulated drowning doesn’t count as long as the prisoner doesn’t actually drown.

The 14 March memo is only one of several ‘torture memos’ that were drafted after September 11 to guide the United States’ counterterrorist campaign – a similar memo was released in October, and still more remain hidden from the public eye.

The content of these documents spark few revelations – we may be startled, but hardly surprised. Though the memos were rescinded by the Department of Justice soon after their issu-

ance, they hardly deviate from the Bush Administration’s business as usual: The willful denial of reality, disregard for the law, and cloak of secrecy are all present. Since 2003, the interrogation guidelines for the CIA and the military have been reviewed and revamped, and the Pentagon says that these legal opinions are now ‘inoperable’. However, most commentators have traced a clear line from the torture memos to the horrifying abuse that has taken place at Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib.

In 2004, the world looked on in horror as the photographs from Abu Ghraib surfaced. It continued to sit with its mouth agape when the interrogators in question got away with murder (literally), when President Bush proclaimed in 2005 ‘we do not torture’ despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, and when Attorney General Michael Mukasey refused to admit that waterboarding constituted torture. Alas, the release of the 14 March memo fails to be shocking because the Bush Administration has shown that anything is possible – in the worst conceivable way. In the monstrous world of the torture memos, there is no distinction between what is possible and what is morally permissible. One would hope that the next president of the United States will know where to draw the line.

7

Trend or trauma?

Inneke Laenen, Vice-Chairperson of Rainbow UCT, reponds to ‘Sexuality: a fashion statement’?

IN THE last edition of VARSITY (1 April 2008, ‘Sexuality: A fashion statement?’), Sheila Afari suggested that ‘Gay and Lesbianism’ can be explained in terms of fashion.’ Many of us at Rainbow UCT are rather puzzled by her reasoning.

How exactly can ‘coming out’ as gay or lesbian be interpreted as following a fashion trend? Coming out is not a trip to the local mall. No misguided teenager has been disowned for matching her miniskirt with fluffy pink snow boots. A gay or lesbian identity is not a garment to be purchased and discarded. It cannot be carelessly tossed into the back of a cupboard like a pair of platform takkies that are now too embarrassing to wear. Quite frankly, the comparison between sexuality and fashion is not only absurd, but also insulting to any homosexual person who has had to come out, risking family and friendships, in order to realise their true identity.

Comparing this need to express our inner selves to buying the latest cut of jeans is belittling to the experience of all gays and lesbians who face the trauma of choosing between the need to be true to ourselves and the need to be accepted by our loved ones. Of course many heterosexuals, having faced the agony of having to decide between jeans and dresses at some stage in their lives, can relate to this trauma, or so Ms Afari would have us believe. Choosing not to buy that pair of skinny jeans or micro-shorts is not the same as denying yourself the opportunity to love openly in order to preserve the central relationships in your life.

According to Ms Afari, ‘Cape Town in particular has a way of changing people [to gay].’ The fact that many people may choose to come out in Cape Town is not due to some process of mysterious metamorphosis. It is not a matter of unsuspecting undergraduates inhaling some pink fairy dust carried by the local South Easter.

It is probably more due to the fact that you are less likely to be gay-bashed in Greenpoint than in Graskop (or whichever plattelandse dorpie you were hiding in before fleeing to Cape Town), and it’s far enough away so that Ouma, Mom, Pop and your high school

posse need never know (a fact to which Ms Afari’s ‘jock for the vac’ friend can attest). That being said, Cape Town is not so ‘gay’ after all, for many non-UCT-attending homosexuals. If we could ask Zoliswa Nkonyana, the woman who was stoned to death outside her parental home in Khayelitsha in 2006 for the mere fact of being a lesbian, I’m sure she would agree. Suggesting that coming out is as easy or as acceptable as following a fashion trend is not only disparaging to all homosexuals who justifiably fear rejection, victimisation and brutalisation for the mere fact of being openly gay, but is also an insult to the memory of those who have lost their lives to the violence fuelled by the virulent homophobia which still thrives in South Africa.

The experiences of most gay and lesbian people substantiate the fact that, unlike following a fashion trend, being openly gay does not make you fit in with the ‘in’ crowd. Besides, if coming out were fashionable, everyone would be doing it. How many same-sex couples attended your last formal?

Finally, an important point to grasp is that choosing to celebrate your sexuality is not the same as choosing your sexuality. Coming out is not about ‘turning’ gay, it is about choosing to express that part of your identity which you have previously ,and painfully, denied.

Sexuality is not a frivolous addition to your wardrobe. It forms a significant part of a cherished personal identity, which should be respected and not belittled by a comparison to something as superficial and disposable as a fashion trend. It may be fabulous to be us, but it’s far from being fashionable.

Tauriq moosa

cemented ones.

How do we battle stalemate minds? Does one allow for engagement with rigid people or does that entail allowance for their (perhaps misguided) views? I am of the former persuasion. I have few friends, which allows me to be a loose canon in a frequently flammable environment. There may be a solution: humanity. It’s a beautiful thing, recognising the humanity in someone. I urge everyone to do this.

Start small: when you go to a retail store, say hello to the cashier, and ask them how s/he is. Even if the conversation stops there, I guarantee a marked change occurs. The human smile is truly amazing, and I urge everyone to fight, if not for a flag, at least for a crease in a random stranger’s face.

We are making progress toward recognising people’s humanity, with their virtues and vices. And seeing it close to fruition in Cape Town is something we should all be very proud of.

VARSITY apologises for any offence caused. However, the point of the article was not that individuals are able to choose their sexuality, but rather that certain individuals may choose to adopt the stereotypical image of a homosexual. The article did not deal with the trauma associated with homosexuality because it was not relevant.

Limits of liberty?

SEEING the freedom of expression regarding a ‘Rainbow UCT’ in previous VARSITY was fantastic. I am very proud to be part of a community that is all encompassing and pretty goddamn liberal!

Not even a lot of ‘first world’ countries can claim to have the mindset that Capetonians have.

This does come at a price, however, and being the cynic I am, I have to look at the dark side.

Beneath the shadow of this liberty, lies the festering soil of those whose views are cemented in stone, who want things their way, immediately. We all know someone whose view on some topic won’t waver to allow even the entrance of opposing thought, be it the ‘hot topic’ of religion, politics, sports teams, etc. I hate this, and perhaps my rigidity about desire to rid the world of this makes me an idiot too. I’ll concede that it is because of our liberal minds that we are shocked to encounter such

Arts & Entertainment 8 Mother City’s urban art revival Rémy Ngamije

I can bring my art to the world.

The status of graffiti as an art form is hotly contested around the world, because it is often perceived as being void of ‘artistic talent’. The lack of conformity to traditional art forms has also been a subject of debate as no two graffiti artists are ever the same, each developing and honing their own individual skills. I cannot paint a Sistine Chapel or Mona Lisa, but I can bet my life that Da Vinci cannot pick up a can and spray either.’

Clink, clink! Spray, Spray!

Graffiti or street art, to which some refer, has been undergoing a current revival as a result of media attention. Early graffiti was used to express political views, but more recently, graffiti has become more commercial. It is now common place to see a hip-

hop star, a space-age android or a twisting tribal-art inspired name inking its way across a wall. The media has made it more prominent through exposure in music videos of artists such as Linkin Park, 50 Cent and many others. Clothing, television commercials and many brands now have graffiti-inspired themes as they seek to captivate and appeal to an ever-growing urban youth market.

Like all art forms, graffiti is an expression of self. Now regarded as a modern contemporary art form, it is competing with other famous creations in museums and art houses. New York has the largest movement of graffiti artists, but places such as London, Sydney and even Cape Town are quickly embracing the spray can. The ease with which graffiti can be done is

perhaps the lure that attracts many artists. To some extent, it is also the risk attached to it.

Having paid over R30, 000 in fines for damage of public property, Skillmatic has a devilish grin when I ask him about it. His answer is simple, ‘Nothing worth doing is free.’ It is common to have a brush with the law when pursuing a career in graffiti art. The more public the place, the riskier it is, but one is likely to gain more street credit in the process. With his mural done, he tosses me a can and tells me to choose a nickname: anonymity is very important in this business. A bit nervous, I look at the can. ‘Go on,’ he says, ‘spray something’. The nozzle plunges under my finger’s pressure as I point it at the wall. Clink, clink!

Spray, spray!

Photo courtesy of Ruttledge.se

CAPE Town graffiti artist, Skillmatic, finishes his third can of chrome paint. The mural of his street name is nearly complete. Standing under a Wynberg bridge, he displays incredible skill at directing every drop of paint exactly where he intends it to land.

Clink, clink! Spray, spray!

Graffiti is defined as words or sketches painted on a wall or poster. The art form has roots in political history as far back as the Second World War, when people without a voice anonymously expressed their views by etching them on any free space of concrete they could find. Seen as vandalism, a means of spreading anarchy or simply as a means of deluded youths to display obsceni-

ties, graffiti has had a tumultuous history around the world. Despite the many attempts to silence the hiss of a can, graffiti is once again flourishing – now more than ever.

Skillmatic picks up a blue can and continues meticulously spraying, blending hues, lightening here, blurring there – completely mesmerising. I cannot help but feel that I am in the presence of a master artist. At 26 years of age, Skillmatic has been spraying walls, pavements and trains around the world for over seven years. A Fine Arts and Graphic Design graduate from London, he works as a Creative Director for a Cape Town advertising firm by day. By night, the lure of the spray can is too tempting to ignore.

‘Graffiti is not vandalism’, he tells me. ‘It’s just another way in which

Volume 67 Number 5

5FM overhaul Bianca Meyjes

5FM has recently undergone significant restructuring. The most notable changes include the resignation of radio DJs Nicole Fox, Ian F and Kevin Fine.

Nicole Fox has been with 5FM for eight years and has hosted both the Nicole Fox Show and the World Chart Show. She has cited a choice to expand her profile and return to her TV roots as reasons for leaving the station.

Ian F has been with 5FM for over 14 years. Alongside Sasha Martinengo, he hosted a popular brunch-time show that was packed with jokes, competitions and general silliness. Ian F now intends to pursue international radio and media opportunities.

Kevin Fine has been with the station for 12 years and announced

his intentions to leave and pursue other business and broadcast options. Kevin hosted the weekend breakfast show, Kevin’s Rise and Fine from 2004.

The changes come at a time when 5FM is desperately seeking a shift in listenership to include more black, coloured and Indian listeners. But by trying to redefine its identity, the station has lost sight of and stronghold over its initial youth market. Listenership figures are on a rapid decline.

5FM is a public radio station owned by the SABC. It would seem, however, that internal working is at play in the current restructuring of the station. Whatever the case may be, it is certainly no coincidence that three of their most reputable DJs have packed their bags for greener pastures.

Howard Roark is ooh la la la Lindi Brownell SKINNY-JEANED Capetonian band, Howard Roark, are bringing a quirky edge to the indie rock brand and they are all about doing it for themselves. It’s nearly time for sound check at Mercury Live, but after lugging bass amps and drum kits up two flights of stairs, the band reckons the Boeing’s flown over and it’s time for a beer.

Settled into the Shack’s warm evening atmosphere, I ask front man Nigel Moore why Howard Roark, the main character from the all-time classic novel The Fountainhead, is the best name for the band. Nigel says, ‘Howard Roark was someone who didn’t succumb to the norms of the industry. It’s about architecture, but I think that you can relate that story to any kind of industry and I think we’re basically putting it into music. I think most band names also have some kind of anti-establishment connotation to them and I think that Howard Roark is another way of saying the same thing.’

Don’t let the good looks and alternative attire fool you; this band is serious about making it big. With a much-anticipated debut EP set for release in June, fans are wondering what to expect from the new release. With catchy songs, ‘You Got The Moves’ and ‘Main Attraction’, and deep tracks like ‘What Is Beautiful’, this EP mixes typical indie rock with an electro edge. ‘It’s music you can party to,’ says drummer, Chris Slabber. Nigel continues to say, ‘I think they’re going to see a progression from the beginning to where we are now musically.

For our first gig, we wrote all of that stuff in two months. We wrote five songs and now we’re

Howard Roark - The guys who are turning heads on ten songs. I think each song vation to play these big, accessible gets better and better. It’s going venues because they aren’t there. to be a nice progression.’ Bassist Lead guitarist James Boonzaier Thee Patrick wraps it up in one believes, ‘People are getting interconcise sentence: ‘It’s round two ested. More people are going to for Howard Roark.’ gigs nowadays. Venues like The Mid-year also brings with it Assembly are opening up, where a prize spot in the Levi’s Young they appreciate bands and make Guns music festival line-up. Levi’s people welcome. It’s changing.’

Young Guns is a promotional event Having opened for big-name that showcases new local talent. bands Taxi Violence, Lark and ‘It’s a very welcome opportunity. the New Loud Rockets, this rockI’m also excited because it’s going ing foursome seem to be on a to be a different experience, it’s roll. Howard Roark want to be not just a normal gig,’ says Nigel. unique. They want to make their Patrick agrees, ‘That’s the cool mark, an ambitious task for an thing. It’s going to be a show. It’s up-and-coming band. Nigel and something worth seeing and worth Patrick believe, ‘A lot of people paying for.’ pretend to be someone else or While proud of their country’s don’t accept who they are and try roots, the band members unani- to live other lives. Being a band mously believe that South Africa’s is about creating good things and venues are not doing justice to following your dreams.’ It may emerging talent. Chris says, ‘If a be cliché, but Howard Roark is big band like Taxi Violence had a band determined to succeed on to play in a place like London’s their own terms in an industry that Astoria, but in a South African is hard-hitting and unforgiving at setting, that place would go crazy! the best of times.

That’s the problem, there aren’t enough big rock stadiums.’ Nigel agrees, ‘We don’t have the moti-

Varsity

Arts

9

&Entertainment

Unit.r: The music scene’s drug of choice Lara Potgieter

REVERBERATING electric signals, mesmerising fluorescence, futuristic laser emission, chiaroscuro projections and throbbing beats are the effects of the new drug of choice on the experimental music scene. Known to transport users through a quixotic sensory experience, the drug possesses the power to hypnotise into a state of fanatical ecstasy inhabited by such delusive spectres as neon pink, green-substance-spewing rabbits and a kaleidoscopic sea of glaring optics.

The violent hallucinogen constitutes a diverse combo of electronic and conventional instruments, powered by four inventive musical masterminds, and is packaged in a variety of forms, including electronica, indie rock, punk and folk. It goes by the street name of Unit.r.

My first experience with Unit. r sent me on a trip into a threedimensional world of addictive sound, uninhibited movement and bright, psychedelic visuals. I was a character in some distorted Nintendo game on fast forward, and I never wanted Game Over.

I was amazed by the seamless combination of the thrill of live performance with the otherworldly effects of electronic production that was created by the diverse combo of keyboard, synth, guitars and both standard and electric drums. The vocals, shared between three of the members, were of a unique and varied quality. The main vocals revealed Postal Service/Death Cab for

Cutie influences, but escaped the conspicuous mimicry that can be found in various aspiring local acts. The diversified set kept the crowd dancing on their toes with songs and pieces ranging from powerful instrumental electrorock epics, to quirky dance floor tunes, to an OMD cover providing all the sentimental slosh of the 80s dance tune. Whether or not you could or wanted to dance, you simply had to move. And you had to move fast.

Then my trip was over. And I needed more. So, I boldly ventured into the illusive holy ground of The Band Room. Stumbling through the door in a post-trip sweat, I greeted my unsuspecting subjects with the most intelligent statement I could muster at the time – ‘So how do you feel after that?!’ Three chilled out faces looked back at the jittery, sweating hype of the groupie before them and calmly invited me to take a seat and have a chat (Note to self: remember this moment forever).

I learnt during my precious moments with the masterminds that they were certainly not aimlessly running around in the hallucinatory video game into which they had induced the rest of us.

These were serious musicians.

With a wealth of production experience behind them, they own between them several production companies and produce music for TV and film. One of the members, Matthew de Nobrega, is also a well-known trance dj who goes by the name Artifakt. It is hard to believe that Unit.r is in fact their

non-commercial project – their jam for the sake of the jam.

The outfit is comprised of two sets of brothers (yep, the real live Super Marios) and, like little boys, they gleefully state that the sole purpose of the band is to ‘have fun’. They clearly don’t take themselves too seriously as a band and have been known to call themselves ‘the geekiest band around’.

In fact, they don’t even like to call themselves a band, let alone place a nice sticky genre label across their foreheads. As stated by their boyishly-cute front man, Goran Manojlovic, ‘If you put something in a box, it dies in a box.’ This outlook can also be seen in their failure to conform to the standard skinny-jeaned image (I’m not going to elaborate, you know the type by now) of the local indie scene. They are actually refreshingly oblivious to the image criteria to which they are expected to conform, and my question about their ‘style’ is met by a unanimous chuckle and admittance that they are too old to know what’s going on.

I was disappointed that they weren’t going to send me on another live trip then and there, but I was compensated with a home shoot-up kit in the form of a self-produced album that captures almost all of the energy of their live performance, enhancing it with the virtues of a technically polished performance. The album artwork, reminiscent of some psychedelic Beatles album cover I once saw, was designed by the infinitely imaginative Kronk, one

of SA’s most promising illustrators. Its explosion of energetic colour and other-worldly design captivates the eccentric spirit of the album. The album presents a diverse range of tracks that combine to form one crazy collage of musical experimentation. You’ll start off foot-tapping to the addictive dance rhythms of the first three tracks, proceed to move uninhibitedly and sensuously to the seductively powerful beats of tracks four and eight, sing along to the catchy melodies of tracks five to seven, be transformed into a little robot of the electronica

p d n l e e e h r p d l p u a o m c h a e t w i e – r d m a ke u o y

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scene in track nine, clap along to the energetic tenth track and lose yourself completely in the violence of the epic last track. I think that’s a comprehensive enough guide to the album. I’m dancing as I type this, so I might be getting a bit carried away.

Aptly titled Phosphenes, the album, as well as the live act of Unit.r, creates captivating phenomena that exist outside of the mind. And may I add that through this entire experience, I did not have an ounce of any mind-altering substance in my body. Pretty powerful stuff, I’d say.

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Enjoy Responsibly. Not For Sale To Persons Under The Age Of 18 Years.

Competition Terms & Conditions: The competition will come to an end on midnight 22 April. The winner must be available for PR purposes. The offer is open to any third year or graduate students registered at any one of the five universities Johnnie Walker Red Label® will be visiting. This offer is not open to the employees of brandhouse beverages (Pty) Ltd (trading as brandhouse) and their respective shareholders, advertising, media and PR agencies, as well as the family members, consultants, directors, associates and trading partners of such organisations and persons. All participants must be over the age of 18 years old, and will be required to exhibit valid identity documents as proof thereof. Participants uploading video or photographic material need to be over the age of 25 years old, and will be required to exhibit valid identity documents as proof thereof. We reserve the right to publish and exhibit for promotional purposes all material uploaded to the website. By entering the competition, all participants accept and agree to abide by these terms and conditions. The prize is R10 000 cash. This offer is non-transferable, and may not be exchanged. Brandhouse shall not be liable in any way whatsoever for any loss, damage or costs, howsoever arising, suffered as a result of the prize. Brandhouse reserves the right to substitute a prize for another prize of any like value, at any time and for any reason. Brandhouse decision as to the winner is final and no correspondence will be entered into. These terms and conditions are governed by the laws of South Africa.

10

Arts & Entertainment

Ill and Literate with the skill

14 - 20 April: Cokey Falkow @ The Little Theatre If you’re into uncensored, controversial comedy, this South African stand-up comic is for you.

Bettens, will be gracing South African fans along with the Durban pop/rock band, Stealing Love Jones.

15 – 19 April: Hatch @ On Broadway

19 – 20 April: The Village @ Flenterskloof Farm (Franschoek)

Follow the journey of dance that portrays critically-acclaimed dancer Mamela Nyamaza’s life story.

Hey trance bunnies and acid fairies, be there!

15 April – 3 May: Brett Murray @ Goodman Gallery Brett Murray’s exhibition Crocodile Tears provides a humorous, satirical, and sometimes tragic reflection on notions of renaissance in the South African context.

22 April: UCT Wind Symphony Concert @ Baxter Concert Hall

15 April – 17 May: ‘Lustre dots and more’ @ 34 Long

23 April: Macgyver Knife @ Mercury

In addition to new work by renowned artists like Takashi Murakami, whose work features regularly at 34 Long, the show introduces locals to the work of Japanese grande dame Yayoi Kusama, Japan’s greatest living artist.

Rock out to one of CT’s aspiring alternative rock bands

This band is one that’s sure to make you smile and blame it on the disco.

16 April: Pretty Blue Guns @ Zula Sound Bar Alternative blues/rock band show CT audiences why they’re known as the ‘dirt’ of Stellenbosch.

25 April: Rockabilly Hodown @ Assembly CT band Them Tornados and guests provide a unique ‘rockabilly/psychobilly’ experience.

Photo courtesy of cherryflava.com

16 April: Bastille @ Zula Sound Bar

Another performing gem from our very own music college.

17 April: Bed on Bricks @ Zula Sound Bar

25 April: Howard Roark & Taxi Violence @ Mercury

A unique feature in the SA music scene, Bed on Bricks provides as indefinable live act that appeals to a diverse audience.

Indie/rock/grunge band Howard Roark perform with CT rock band Taxi Violence.

18 April: Adamu @ Zula Sound Bar Enjoy the diverse music of Angolan singer/songwriter Adamu in an experience of kwasa kwasa, afro-beat, jazz and African world music.

18 April: Rag Fashion Show See the good life at the annual Rag Fashion Show.

19 April: UCT Big Band @ Baxter Concert Hall Don’t miss the performance of one of SACM’s finest performing groups.

19 April: Little Kings and Al Paton @ Zula Sound Bar A rocking night with Cape Town’s hottest rock reggae band and talented singer/songwriterAl Paton.

19 April: Sarah Bettens & Stealing Love Jones @ Assembly K’s Choice lead singer, Sarah

26 April: Goldfish Album Launch @ Assembly The CT electro-jazz sensation will be launching their album, Passions of Pacha.

26 April: Mama Know Nothing @ Zula Sound Bar Be entertained by the blues/ folk threesome previously known as Black Betty.

get more dates in other countries as well,’ says Macho in an evidently excited tone. Asked about how they managed to pull it off, Tommy Jinxx credits the internet, with the social networking site Myspace.com as the main aid. He also states emphatically that the crew ‘do not want to be limited within the confines of the South African border...we would like to spread our wings further than that.’ So what motivated the move to Europe, as opposed to America?

According to their biography, they believe that the market of the supposed ‘Land of the Free’ is oversaturated with artists who do the same brand of hip-hop as theirs.

Europe on the other hand is a bit more accommodating.

When asked about their target market, crew member Jimmy Flexx stated that they do not aim to please everyone. ‘The more upbeat and informed urban crowd is more our type. That being said, we do not exclude anyone who wants to be down. For instance, we did a performance at Mzoli’s (out in Gugulethu) for the Battle of Gugs Volume Two launch, and the crowd over there loved us. So we can’t say we don’t want that

type of crowd.’ Put simply, anyone who is down with their music can join in the Ill Skillz vibe.

All three emcees hail from Gugulethu, and rapped individually before forming the group in 2005. They have released two mixtapes and an EP called Another day, another rhyme. The mixtapes are released in conjunction with other Cape Town luminaries Driemanskaap under the Digging Deep Productions banner, and entitled Battle of Gugs.

Volume One, has been out for a while now, and Volume Two hit the streets approximately a month ago. It features contributions from rappers such as Rattex, Bhubesi, and Archetypes to name but a few and ranges from the jazzy grooves of Mizi to Planet Earth’s grimey sounds.

The band consists of Jimmy Flexx (aka Mecav) who likes wearing hats, Tommy Jinxx (aka Uno) the short one, and Fire-breatha (aka Macho) the dude with a lot of hair. Last, but definitely not least, is the super-incredible turntable extraordinaire DJ Nick Knucklez, who also happens to be UCT’s current Scratch Champ.

Confessions brought to life

Nabeelah Martin Confessions of a Gambler is the movie based on the book of the same name by the award-winning Rayda Jacobs. The movie is set in the Cape Muslim community, and portrays the story of Abeeda Ariefdien. Beeda, as she is affectionately known, is a devout Muslim who finds solace in the world of gambling after her son dies of AIDS. Beeda’s addiction begins innocuously enough, as a onceoff daytrip to the casino. Yet soon she finds herself gambling away her savings, and getting caught up with unsavoury characters in a desperate bid to come up with the funds she needs to feed her addiction.

The fact that Rayda Jacobs wrote the screenplay, directed the film, and starred as the lead character leads me to infer that the movie version is true to the book. Jacob’s portrayal of Beeda is honest and she does a credible job of depicting Beeda’s downward spiral from pious and unassuming to grasping and desperate.

Throughout the film, we remain sympathetic to Beeda’s flaws.

The film deals with many subjects which are taboo in the Muslim community. Beeda’s gambling addiction and her son’s homosexuality are topics of salacious skinder. The film documents Muslim rites in meticulous detail, and aptly contrasts Beeda’s religious practices with her gambling.

In an ironic scene, Beeda and her girlfriends lay out their prayermats just before proceeding to the casino.

The film manages to challenge the conventional stereotypes of Muslim women as submissive and one-dimensional. Beeda is a strong woman with a foul mouth, and she is far from timid.

While the film deals with inherently serious issues, it also has many moments of comic relief. In particular, the garrulous Garaaitje, played by Nabaweya Scello, has some classic one-liners. The repar-

Photo courtesy of 24.com

The Cape Town acoustic rock band centred around the lead singer and graffiti artist, Jack Mantis, performs at one of its favourite venues.

Ts’eliso Monaheng ‘WE CAN’T be bitter about the state of affairs; we’ve gotta fight strategically for our place under the sun.’ I decided to quote these words in order to present the motivated nature of my subjects, Ill Skillz, a Cape Town-based hip-hop collective of four gentlemen (three emcees and one deejay), formerly known as Ill Literate Skillz. They possess an awe-inspiring work ethic in the otherwise clustered sphere referred to as ‘local’ hiphop. I had a chat with them prior to a performance at Zula Bar – just one in a series of the Ill-Skillz exclusive gigs they organise regularly. According to Tommy Jinxx, the unofficial spokesperson for the crew, this series of shows is aimed at bringing talent from across South Africa to Cape Town audiences. However, they decided to go at it solo this time around, and used the show as a platform to bid their loyal legion of followers goodbye as they prepare to embark on a two-month tour of Europe; a tour they organised themselves.

‘We are touring man, planning to touch places like Germany and Amsterdam, and hopefully

Picture Courtesy of moviefinancier.com

15 April: The Jack Mantis Band @ Zula Sound Bar

Photo by Frank Klauwers

What’s On Lara Potgieter

Volume 67 Number 5

On set - Rayda Jacobs films a scene with ‘Garaatjie. The film is based on the book by the same name, bottom left. Ilham Rawoot plays Rabia, bottom right. tee between Garaaitjie and Beeda is a highlight of the movie VARSITY’s own erstwhile images editor, Ilham Rawoot, has a cameo role as Beeda’s highly-unlikeable daughter-in-law, Rabia.

The cast of unknowns render their performances accurately, and provide a realistic account af

the Muslim community in Cape Town.

The film is an excellent example of what the South African film industry can produce. Stories which are topical and relevant to the contemporary South African community are increasingly being told. This bodes well for the future of South African film-making

Varsity

Police trauma Justin Andrews

‘BEING a police officer,’ states the website Career Junction, ‘is one of the most dangerous careers in South Africa and due to its risky nature, few people consider the opportunities within this organisation.’ This danger not only makes the job of being a police officer hard, but also has the potential to cause damaging and debilitating mental stress. As Senior Superintendent, Mabalane Mohale of the Linden Police Station in Johannesburg stated, ‘Contact crime is traumatising on a community and its police officers. Even if it is just one instance, it still leaves an impression on the people involved. As these isolated events add up, they change the way that officers deal with criminals, victims, human rights, and even their own families.’

Within the South African Police Service, there is therapy available for the officers. However, this is a relatively new programme and therefore the officers tend not to take full advantage of it. John*, a retired Detective Sergeant said, ‘There was no counselling back then for us. We just had to get on with it, but then it didn’t really seem to affect me. Now I see it did. I am divorced and battling with bipolar disorder, hypervigilism, and epilepsy, which I believe comes from the accumulated stress over the 11 years I served on the South African Police Force.’ John was hospitalised and is still on medication to control his mental illness.

Many also avoid therapy due to deep-rooted beliefs which exist in the police force today. Themba Masuku, senior researcher of the

Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation, released a report stating, ‘The SAPS provides free therapy, but sadly it is severely underused. There seems to be a trend in the police force, and Africa at large, that if you seek counselling you are weak, but this is not true.’ The mentality which is displayed here is not only a researcher’s opinion, it exists in the police force as well.

Mohale agrees in saying, ‘There is counselling, but the biggest problem is that it is not user-friendly. This is because in the beginning of their careers as police officers, they believe that if they seek counselling they will be viewed as weak, and it will jeopardise their further career. Also you think: I am a man, I am a cop, why must I need such things? If you tell a fellow police officer these personal things, there will be a problem tomorrow at work.’

This mental instability caused by the levels of violence and stress in police officers’ line of work can also be damaging to the emotional life and security of the officers’ families. There have recently been many reports on the number of police suicides and the number of times an officer has murdered his family and subsequently taken his own life. Mr Velaphi Ndlovu MP, the IFP spokesperson for safety and security, issued a report in March 2007 saying ‘[The] number of suicides during that period is 46 suicides, exactly double the number of suicides that happened in the first half of 2006. Serious questions must be asked about why this figure increased so sharply.’ One could ask themselves that if the police officers have the ability to take their own lives and

South Africa: the lives of their loved ones, why then could they not mentally snap during a routine pullover, where an otherwise innocent person was possibly speeding?

As Mohale explains: ‘There are people here who have been exposed to this violent crime, people who have been shot at, and we don’t deploy those people because of obvious reasons, until they are ready to deal with members of the public again. We cannot blame an officer for the stress which he endures. However, if someone suffers from these symptoms, they should not get a gun again; that is what I believe. You never know, if something may happen, that officer may relapse and be a danger to people.’ However, this is not the case. Every precinct differs in its policy on this matter, but they all agree on one rule: a police officer cannot be permanently retired due to traumatic experiences, unless it is for medical reasons. The officer is mostly given time off from field duty, and when he or she feels ready to return, they do so.

The reference manual for the Firearms Control Act (ACT 60 of 2000) states that ‘the registrar may declare a person unfit to possess a firearm if because of that person’s mental condition, inclination to violence or dependence on any substance which has an intoxicating or narcotic effect, the possession of a firearm by that person is not in the interests of that person or any other person.’ This code is applicable to all residents of South Africa. Those officers who do not seek counselling should be held accountable by the same law as their fellow citizens. * name has been changed

Destination Phuket Kate Collins

IT’S a sticky heat. A mass of white bodies lie sprawled out on beach chairs, absorbing as many rays as they possibly can.

The town Phuket is much the same – a sea of predominately white, sunburnt faces. The locals are hiding behind restaurant and hotel walls. Phuket is vibey in December, the hustlebustle of the town contrasted with the peaceful surrounding green foliage. People from around the world converge on these breathtaking Thai beaches, enjoying the sun, food, culture - and exchange rate.

Phuket’s draw card is its surrounding islands. For R250 I spend a day on a cruise boat, swimming and snorkeling with colourful fish at Phi Phi Ley and Maya Bay, where The Beach, starring Leonardo Di Caprio, was filmed. En-route to the various islands, the crew treats passengers to snacks, coconut juice and a gourmet, onboard lunch.

Monkey Beach is our next stop on the tour. As we approach the tiny strip of beach, a hoard of fat monkeys comes sluggishly forward, jumping from tree to tree to greet our boat. Our offerings of bananas are met with reluctance; clearly these monkeys have more than enough to eat.

I end the day at Khai Nak Island, lying on my sarong, sipping a banana colada and listening to the sounds of Bob Marley.

The island vibe could not have been better - except perhaps if there were fewer fellow tourists about!

Eating out in Phuket is more

11

features

To stay or not to stay

Bianca Meyjes FOR those of you who have traveled around the world, you would agree that nothing quite beats the beauty and diversity of our very own South Africa. Having visited cities like New York, Paris, Rome, Sydney, Barcelona and London, I would argue that Cape Town is up there with the best. To buttress this claim, South Africa has been voted one of the most popular long-haul destinations in the world, with tourists arriving every year to experience the country’s beaches, mountains, game parks and winelands.

What do tourists see in South Africa that its citizens are too pessimistic to see? In recent years, there has been a mass exodus of South Africans leaving for foreign shores. Many of them have had brutal experiences with crime.

Others are concerned about their futures and are wary of the government. Do these reasons justify leaving?

Of course, this question is particularly important for the younger generation, who find themselves completing degrees and embarking on their careers. Young people have the greatest emigration opportunities, as they have not yet started families or purchased property. Debates can be fired from either side, but ultimately it comes down to a personal choice: To stay

Yasser is the new Ché Jade Taylor Cooke

Maya Bay is on the map - Made famous by the movie The Beach

expensive than most other places in Thailand. The restaurants with a few plastic chairs on their verandah may look uninviting, but for students on a tight budget they serve delicious Thai meals for half of what the more ‘glam’ restaurants charge.

Another boat cruise - this time to visit the famous James Bond Island - finds me lying out on the boat’s deck chairs, scanning the aquamarine waters and karst formations, which rise like giant fingers into the sky.

Our boat stops at Hong Island and we descend into a canoe to drift into the Viking Caves, lying flat to avoid scraping our heads on the cave roof. The person at the prow of the canoe holds a torch; inside the cave it is pitch black, and glistening stalagmites and stalactites rear up out of the gloom, shining brightly against the torch lights.

The James Bond Island itself is a hawker’s heaven. The vendors are starving for money, and one pulls me by my arm into her stall. I don’t want to buy the bracelet she is trying to sell to me for 500 baht (about R111), and when I shake my head she asks me to name my price. Bartering with the locals is common practice in Thailand, and eventually I get the bracelet for 100 baht (about R22). The trick with bartering is to be ruthless, lest the entrepreneur try to swindle you.

Looking around, I find it hard to believe that this is the scene of the devastating 2005 Tsunami.

Except for the ‘Tsunami evacuation route’ signs, there is barely a hint of its aftermath. Here, the white sands and turquoise waters are a picture of paradise.

or not to stay.

Leaving one’s roots in search of a better life is not nearly as simple as it sounds. Firstly, life may not be greener on the other side. Popular emigration destinations, such as London, are fraught with miserable weather, high living costs, and can often prove to be a culture shock. Making these places ‘home’ is, more practically, creating a ‘home away from home’. After all, South Africa will always be the place of our birth and heritage, where most of our families reside and where our identities are best-suited.

One has to bear in mind that our country needs us. The coined phrase ‘brain drain’ is certainly no improbability. When talented professionals leave, South Africa faces a real shortage of skills. The more people leave, the more our country is brought to its knees.

Conversely, emigrating might present more opportunities. Many of these cities are considered to be ‘First World’: they are more developed, more functional and safer.

However one chooses to look at it, it is difficult to make the choice whether to stay or to go.

Success is not dependent on a geographical location. Other factors such as luck, education, motivation and risk are also involved.

Without these, success is unattainable, no matter which country you live in.

AS IF it were not bad enough having to endure the sight of countless t-shirts, bags and accessories emblazoned with Ché’s revolutionary face; it seems you can’t swing a faux Fendi these days without hitting some dolt wearing ‘The Yasser Arafat Scarf’.

I am usually the first to defend fashion against those who call it a superficial, frivolous industry. Fashion is a living art form, a means of expression, and an employment option for millions of Chinese children. Besides, if Twiggy had never been more than assistant-hairdresser Lesley Hornby, who would we blame our low self-esteem on? However, even I confess being disappointed in this new trend.

First of all, people, it is called a Keffiyeh, and originated as a headdress in rural Saudi areas as protection against the harsh desert sun. During the 1960s, it became a symbol of Palestinian nationalism.

In Palestine, the colour of your Keffiyeh denotes your political sympathies. Yasser Arafat’s particular arrangement of the black-andwhite checked cloth soon became accepted as a symbol of his Fatah party, while the leftist Palestinian Liberation Organisation favours the red-and-white checked version.

Secondly, wearing the Keffiyeh thoughtlessly provokes heated political reactions, given the current state of affairs in the Middle East. British newspaper, The Independent, calls it ‘a disturb-

ing symbol of Islamic militancy’, and equates it with the fascist wearing of brown shirts. American chain UrbanOutfitters, who used to stock the scarves, pulled the line because they felt selling it implied ‘sympathy and support for terrorists’. The scarves have also been seen as anti-Semitic, against the backdrop of the Israeli-Palestine conflict.

‘Using your clothing to support a cause is one thing; inadvertently sparking political debate by mindlessly following fashion is quite another’ Thirdly, originality is hard to come by in a world of nu-punk and retro-classic, so don’t go thinking you’re the trendiest, skinny jeanswearing moron on the block. The Keffiyeh first enjoyed popularity in the West as far back as the 1980s, when Bohemian girls donned them as scarves.

Using your clothing to support a cause is one thing; inadvertently sparking political debate by mindlessly following fashion is quite another. These days, we won’t put food in our mouths without first scrutinising its nutritional information, so why should we be any less discerning in our consumption of fashion?

12

features

Volume 66 Number 8

Urban sport

Switch on to switch off Rémy Ngamije

ogy. We have indeed become more switched on. Simultaneously, however, we have become more switched off. The lights are on (Eskom permitting), but there is nobody home.

As technology has become more advanced, we have become more out of sync with our surroundings, resulting in devastating effects on the natural environment.

Poisonous waste from factories pollutes water sources and forests, destroying habitats and killing flora and fauna. Greenhouse gases continue to heat up our planet at an alarming rate, while our evergrowing demand for more technology leads to the exploitation of

Career Development Programme

MAN’S greatest inventions are, without a doubt, sliced bread and toilet paper. One-ply toilet tissue has faithfully been at our side through tears, heartbreak and stomach aches, while sliced bread has brought us out of the Dark Ages and saved us from many a Royal Sechaba meal. Without toilet paper, mankind would still be scrambling for a suitably-sized leaf, and the term ‘sticky fingers’ would have a whole new meaning.

Sliced bread has brought about a domestic revolution, allowing sandwiches to become the staple diet of those individuals who are culinary-challenged and have nothing more than an onion and water in their fridge (like me).

Either way, the use of these two inventions requires the user to be very attentive and, as many people will testify, that last square of toilet paper is proof that a little goes a long way. This is perhaps more than we can say for technology today.

As citizens of the Electronic Age, we have seen our lives greatly improved by developments in communication technology.

Despite distance, such technology allows us to remain connected.

New machinery enables the agricultural sector to make hay even when the sun does not shine. Faster and safer transport is available to ensure that we arrive at clubs punctually and at lectures fashionably late, while the frontiers of space and time are continuously being challenged by new technol-

No longer do we feel the need to meet in person’ exhaustible natural resources.

Technology has had its most advantageous and most adverse effects on society. No longer do we feel the need to meet in person to drone about our trials or tribulations. Instead, we simply send a hastily-typed, jargon-loaded SMS and hope that Vodacom charges a reasonable rate. It is true that technology has helped us to become more connected, but it has also alienated us emotionally from ourselves and from others.

All too often, the easiness and impersonality of a Facebook or

Megan Lyons

MXit message allows us to hide our true identities and prevent us from engaging emotionally with others. These social networking programmes allow people to establish relationships with people that they do not know personally, under the façade of building ties with long lost friends. It used to be that ‘friends in need were friends indeed’, but in the mouse-controlled world of today, your 300 friends on Facebook do not write to you or call you and fail to return your borrowed stationery.

The latest Nokia cellular phone has left our wallets lighter, while surgically-connected iPod earphones allow us to walk to a beat, tunefully ignorant and isolated from our surroundings. Literature has become the realm of scholars, since films are cheaper and more graphically-stimulating for the general population. Life through a lens is championed by online blogs, feeding our obsession for real-life experiences such as Big Brother. A world similar to The Matrix is perhaps not too far off.

Mankind’s evolutionary advantage has always been the invention of technology to aid adaptation to different environments. But the relationship has been reversed, with technology acting as the driving factor behind social and environmental change. It is with a noticeable comfort that I can turn off malfunctioning computers and log off socially-invasive websites, safe in the knowledge that, come what may, sliced bread and toilet tissue will never desert me.

THE human body is an incredible instrument that can be trained to achieve the extraordinary. One might define ‘extraordinary’ as a persone defying gravity by leaping from building to building, 24 stories high, and plunging from the top of a staircase, four metres above the ground, onto a metal railing below.

Parkour or l’art du déplacement (directly translating into the art of displacement), is classified as an art or discipline (as opposed to an extreme sport) that involves moving from one point to another, as quickly and efficiently as possible, using only the human body’s natural abilities. Parkour’s primary goal is to help you overcome obstacles which lie in your path in a direct and energy-conserving way – as you would in an emergency.

The philosophy behind this intriguing and unique discipline in the urban environment lies with its founder David Belle in Lisses, Paris. Born into a fire-fighter’s family, David was influenced by stories of heroism. At age 16, he left school to pursue his love of freedom and action, and to develop his strength and dexterity in order to be useful in life, as his father, Raymond Belle, had advised him. Raymond introduced David to obstacle-course training and the méthode naturelle (natural method). David participated in activities such as martial arts and gymnastics, and sought to apply his athletic prowess for some practical purpose, hence, the beginning of Parkour. Parkour’s philosophy is one of freedom: It can be practised by anyone, at any time, anywhere in the world, and demonstrates that walls, staircases, buildings and so forth can be overcome.

After its success in France, David wanted to present this discipline to the English-speaking world. This was accomplished with the help of his childhood friend, Sébastien Foucan, through the film Jump London. Thus, the English term ‘Free Running’ was born. Although Free Running and Parkour are physically similar

Free running - a leap of faith – both stress complete freedom of movement and often include many acrobatic manoeuvres – the mindsets of each are vastly different. While the traceurs and traceuses who practice Parkour do so in order to improve their ability to overcome obstacles in the fastest and most efficient manner, Free Runners practice and employ a broader array of movements that are not always necessary in achieving this goal. Both Free Running and Parkour are big hits within popular culture and have appeared in movies such as Casino Royale, Yamakasi and Live Free or Die Hard.

Parkour and Free Running remain prominent activities in the UK and France. Some Parkourpracticing individuals even form teams, like the Piczo Parkours, who ‘trick’ their way around the UK’s teen hotspots to increase brand awareness of Parkour.

This team leaps over walls and jumps over roofs while passing out branded merchandise. They direct teenagers to a special Piczo Parkours webpage, where they can make friends and join the Parkour team, hence carrying out David Belle’s aim ‘to take [their] art to the world and make people understand what it is to move.’

2008 Graduate Recruitment Programme Launch The Graduate Recruitment Programme (GRP) is run by UCT's

GRP Presentations (Part 1)

Career Development Programme. This year, the GRP has been extended and will run in two parts: from 29 April to 20 May, and then again in the third quarter from 23 July to

30

September

2008

for

the

second

part

of

the

programme. The GRP brings over 150 employers onto campus to give talks and conduct recruitment interviews for graduate entry-level positions. All students can benefit from participating

in

the

GRP

by

gaining

experience

and

Date

Venue

Company

29 April

LS3A

Standard Bank CIB

05 May

LS3A

KPMG

06 May

LS3A

First National Bank

07 May

LS3A

Deloitte

08 May

LS3A

Sasol Group

12 May

LS3A

Ernst & Young

13 May

LS3A

PricewaterhouseCoopers

15 May

LS3A

Allan Gray

20 May

LS3B

Accounting Conversion Course

20 May

LS3A

Unilever

knowledge of the job search process and the world of work.

The

GRP Handbook contains some information on job

selection methods, the skills employers seek in graduates, CVs, cover letters and interviews, as well as some reflections by

graduate

recruiters

and

experiences in securing jobs.

UCT

alumni

on

their

own

Collect your copy from CDP

reception from 29 April 2008. Alternatively, download the timetable

section

of

the

GRP

Handbook

from

www.careers.uct.ac.za, click on the “Students” tab and then choose “Graduate Recruitment Programme”.

Please note that talks are from 13h00 to 13h45.

CAREER DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMME University of Cape Town Ground floor, Hoerikwaggo, Upper Campus tel: 021 650 2497 | email: cdp-careers@uct.ac.za | www.careers.uct.ac.za

&technology Rebuilding from the ground up Take-Two vs EA games Varsity

business

13

The first glimpse of

and

AS UNCERTAINTY and anxiety builds, the world awaits the results of the Zimbabwean parliamentary elections. It is little wonder that onlookers are optimistically hoping for a good ending to this rather tragic tale.

Robert Mugabe, leader of the Zimbabwean African National Union – Patriotic Front (ZANUPF) and President of Zimbabwe, has all but completely destroyed the Zimbabwean economy in order to hold onto his mutinous dictatorial reign. His role as the great hero of independence quickly turned sour after his mass expropriation of white-owned farmland and the costly intervention in the Second Congo War, which cost him the opinion and investment of the Western World. Zimbabwe’s economy quickly spiralled downwards, leading to food and oil shortages, hyperinflation and en mass emigration from the country.

The Movement for Democratic Change (MDC), founded as an opposition party against the ZANU -PF and led by Morgan Tsvangirai, has found itself in the fortunate position of winning the first round of the 2008 parliamentary election with 99 seats compared to the 97 seats of the ZANU-PF. With this tiny glimpse of hope that Mugabe’s reign may soon find its end, one cannot help but wonder that, once elected, the MDC may bring back economic stability to the Zimbabwean economy. With Zimbabwe facing 100 000% inflation (and rising), more than 80% unemployment rate and a shocking lack of basic necessities, economic stability seems like a distant reality. The MDC has promised Mugabe and members of the security forces that once elected into parliament, they will refrain from retribution or vindictiveness in order to come to a peaceful consensus. They plan to rebuild the economy, one brick at a time, hopefully with a marginal amount of conflict.

The political activity in Zimbabwe has sent ripples of excitement across the globe. For investors, the transition of a country from an authoritarian regime to something more representative of a democracy is almost as good as the emergence of a new nation.

What’s more, this particular nation is in Africa – business’ new wonderland.

So why are investors so happy with the potential regime change in Zimbabwe? For one, it is almost as if the world’s finite resources have suddenly been given a boost.

These resources are not limited to raw materials that can be extracted from the ground. The potential for

photo courtesy of abc.net.au

SEamus Duggan Danielle gordon

Insatiable - EA have been taking over as many companies as they can in the past few years.

RÉmy Ngamije The new hope - The MDC is Zimbabwe’s only chance for a bright future. cheap labour will tempt even the most morally-inclined states.

The absurd inflation rates that have plagued Zimbabwe’s economy in recent years mean that there are many people who, facing starvation, would literally be willing to work for peanuts.

A prospective restraint on Zimbabwe’s labour is that there will be a severe limit on its number of skilled workers. This is of little concern to potential investors as Africa is not where they turn for a skilled labour force. However, it highlights the very serious issue of redeveloping the indigenous skill levels, which are needed for future economic stability and advancement.

Up until now, Zimbabwe has been the benefactor of foreign investment from China, Greece and an assortment of African nations. Should they succeed in negotiating some sort of democratic process whereby Robert Mugabe and his ruling ZANU-PF are removed from power, then Zimbabwe is likely to become the flavour of the week for international business people.

The sector that is likely to be given the most attention is that of agriculture. The devastation that followed the land redistribution has left many farms in dire need of repair and management.

Zimbabwe’s new regime, should it emerge, is likely to turn to foreigners to help get this pivotal industry back on track.

If Zimbabwe is to maximise the attention that they receive,

then the economic policy adopted by the country is of great significance. The consequence of opting for a policy that encourages bulky social spending is the alienation of potential investment. In order to rebuild the economy, Zimbabwe must realise that reconstruction takes time. Economic policy that encourages a free market, limits nationalisation and restricts government splashing out to reduce poverty, has proven to be the best option over the long run in most instances.

Although Zimbabwe will be funded to regain structural stability within its economy by rebuilding its infrastructure, it will be indebted not only to the IMF, but to countries like Britain and the United States. This may be the only way of reclaiming the country from the white-clad grip of its tyrannical president, but the implications point towards a long uphill battle to ultimate economic stability.

Once the economy has stabilised and has been given a few years to grow at a constant rate, then the government can consider spending to counter Mugabe’s legacy. Until then, the process of rebuilding is going to be a difficult one and it is entirely possible that many Zimbabweans lives will not have improved in ten years or more. In order to come to terms with the reality of the enormous challenges facing them, Zimbabwe need only look south.

The column in the corner Karl ‘Lennox Lewis’ Thomson MUCH to my dismay, all the articles I wanted to include in this editon wouldn’t fit. So I am forced, yet again, to write a nonsensical jumble of thoughts into a small, crammed space on my page. I can assure you that it brings me very little joy to force you to read this, but then again, its not like anybody actually reads this. So even if I write about white supremcy, it isn’t like anyone would care.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I won’t write about white supremecy because it is stupid. Very

very stupid. So I shall share some slightly more interesting thoughts with you, my valued pretend readership.

The world car of the year was recently announced, and the winner is the spritely Mazda2. This vehicle is brilliant, as its not only small and frugal, but also really sexy in a metal kind of way.

Anyone who has had the fortune of seeing one, knows what I mean when I say ‘look at those sexy curves’.

Speaking of sexy curves, I had the misfortune of losing my beloved lady friend recently.

Which sucks horribly as I was

rather fond of her. So, if I may, I shall say my final goodbye: ‘Baby, thanks for everything, and especially for not punching me in the face. Till we meet again. I love you babykins.’

To everyone who thought they would gain something from reading this short article, I apologise.

This space is truely the toilet wall of the VARSITY. Well, except for Humour. Which isn’t funny, so don’t read it.

Have a good week and stay in school.

IN A year bustling with mergers, takeovers and the crumbling of the US stock markets, the latest financial upheaval comes from the money-spinning world of interactive gaming. Electronic Arts (EA Games) is the world’s largest console and interactive entertainment manufacturers, who have produced famous titles such as FIFA Soccer and the Need for Speed franchise. They have launched a US$2 billion takeover bid for Take-Two, publisher of the Grand Theft Auto series as well as Singstar and owner of Rockstar games. The hostile takeover was recently made public after a formal proposition from EA Games was rejected in a post-Valentine’s Day meeting.

‘The conservatively-estimated US$15 billion gaming industry is one of the most cut-throat industries in existence today’ The conservatively-estimated US$15 billion gaming industry, one of the most cut-throat industries in existence today, but receives relatively little or no media attention, has been in limbo concerning the takeover. With many analysts criticising the move as another method in which competition is steadily being constricted, gamers from both camps have been anxiously perusing company websites, unsure about the future of popular gaming titles owned by both companies.

EA Games, generating US$4 billion a year from the sales of gaming software for console systems such as Sony’s Playstation 3, Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Nintendo’s Wii, has defended the potential takeover. They stated that it would allow Take-Two programmers and creators to operate in a safe financial environment in addition to benefitting from the extensive marketing and technological resources currently owned by the gaming giant. Take-Two contested the billion-dollar bid as being too low for its shareholders and as an industry-homogenising initiative– a sentiment shared by

many avid gamers worldwide.

Grand Theft Auto (GTA), which has sold 65 million copies and has an ever-growing cult following, has been the frontrunner of Take-Two, consistently selling over seven million copies with each new release. It is viewed as the main reason for EA Games’ takeover, which can indicate the company’s intention to produce a different genre of gaming media.

Owning the official rights to the world’s most lucrative sports leagues in the world, such as soccer, American football, boxing and rugby, EA Games now seeks to add GTA to its lucrative portfolio. Take-Two also cites that its newest popular gaming franchises, Bioshock for example, are additional targets for EA Games – a deal which could eventually push EA Games into the US$6 billiona-year revenue bracket.

Unknown to many people outside of the gaming community, are the divisions of computer gaming companies, used to generate revenue from licensing intellectual property to sequels; there are many outlets with which to make money.

Activision, EIDOS Interactive and Blizzard Entertainment are some game developers, along with Take-Two and EA Games, who all specialised at producing interactive games that subscribe to this marketing scheme. From sports, role-playing games such as The Sims or first person shooters such as Counterstrike, each gaming company has its own following of gamers from which it gains a steady flow of income.

This is through fierce loyalty, or casual gamers looking for a way to pass the time. With EA Games attempting to purchase Take-Two, it would potentially gain a larger share of the gaming market and as such, double or triple its annual revenue. However, gamers, the driving force of the industry, are cautious about the takeover. Poor quality games and the termination or modification of gaming titles are among their chief concerns.

Their doubts are not unfounded, since the developing of games is distinctly different between the two companies. Yet again, conflict between corporate cultures as well as technical or platform incompatibilities could render the takeover a failure.

Grand Theft Auto IV, which is scheduled for release in late April, has already been stalled, as the label under which it would be released could potentially change overnight.

14

Humour

Spit roast fever Anton Taylor lights up the coals

Student’s guide to the beach Berndt Hannweg

Beach: noun. A stretch of coastline that can be balmy, windy, sandy, rocky, secluded or crowded.

Your Beach: noun. The beach that generally falls under the beach descriptions two, four and six above.

Beach Towel: noun. When laid out on the sand, an object that seemingly INVITES people to step on it.

Designated Swimming Area: noun. The section of beach between two flags that is designed to squeeze the maximum amount of people into the minimum amount of sea.

Jellyfish: noun. A creature no one notices until their leg is on fire.

Lifeguard: noun 1. A person known for making funny noises at you, but ends up being ignored.

2. The person who ends up saving your life when you start making funny noises and are being ignored.

Sand: noun. A substance found on every beach and, subsequently, also in your shoes, your car, your carpet etc.

Shark: noun. After Jaws, a

Photo by Justin Andrews

DEPENDING on your social circles, you probably would have either heard of, or even participated in, a spit roast. As of late, reports of spit roasts have been extensive, with Lower Campus residences such as Leo Marquard, as well as student digs in the southern suburbs, allegedly playing host to the exciting world of the roast.

Intrepid VARSITY reporter Anton Taylor sat down with two of the biggest spit roast connoisseurs on Upper Campus, David Bonellie and Tyrell Ellis, to find out a little bit more about UCT’s fastest-growing pastime.

Anton Taylor: So gentlemen, to begin, what is a spit roast?

David Bonellie: Anton, a spit roast is when two friends, and a piece of meat come together to bond and share special memories.

There has always been a great tradition of sharing meat-on-a-spit at UCT, and as my father taught me, there is nothing more manly than beer, rugby, and a good old spit roast.

AT: Where do you usually find meat for your spit roasts?

Tyrell Ellis: We find that the Claremont Butchery is the best place to find suitable meat, especially on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the necessary meat flavourants are sold at 2-for-1 until 10:30 pm.

AT: How do you like your meat?

DB: We find that raw, tender veal is typically the best meat when you’re keen for a solid lambasting. However, high-grade meat is hard to come by when it comes to a spit roast, and at the end of the day, meat is meat and a man must eat. We are fully prepared to be flexible when it comes to the shape, size and outward appearance of our meat, especially after 1 am. We happily accept fatty meat types such as pork, and have on occasion even dived into road kill which we have found on the Main Road.

AT: Tell me about meat preparation.

TE: Whilst many might advocate the use of marinade during a roast, we prefer to let it stew in its own juices. That being said, we find that tequila, sambuca, and elbows are the most effective ways to tenderise the meat, and prepare it for the roast. High-fives are an essential throughout the spit roasting process, as they add to

Volume 67 Number 5

Beware the flame - David Bonellie and Tyrell Ellis braaing some sausage the bonding experience between friends.

AT: I’ve heard that spit roast-ready meat is sometimes ripe with filth and disease. What do you do to prevent these diseases spreading from the meat to you?

DB: Nothing.

AT: Are there any negative aspects of spit roasting?

TE: Well, seeing your friend’s boerie grilling next to a roast you want to devour can at times be offputting, but eventually you learn to man-up and throw your chop right on next to him.

DB: After a roast one can often feel a bit ill, especially if you fail to get rid of the left-overs immediately after the roast. We usually throw them over the wall or leave them on the road.

AT: Any closing remarks gentlemen?

TE: A spit roast is about respect. Not for the meat obviously, because it is an object with no feelings, but respect for your fellow roaster. Looking at your roast partner and seeing the emotions

in his eyes, through the sweat and tears, one sees him in a new light.

Spit roasting, in my opinion, is an almost divine experience.

DB: ­Viva la Roast!

The VARSITY Humour page is a vehicle for expression.

The views expressed in the Humour section are not necessarily those of the advertisers or staff of VARSITY newspaper, or the University of Cape Town.

If at any stage you would like to complain about the offensive nature of the smut published on this page, especially if you are a hot slut with big boobs, please feel free to contact the humour editor every Thursday at the Tiger shooters bar. Bring lube.

creature which everyone KNOWS is in the water, no matter what the marine biologists tell us.

Speedo: noun. A form of beach wear that will soon be banned, citing either the Geneva Convention or cruel and unusual punishment.

Beach Ball: noun. The really fat guy wearing the Speedo.

Seawater: noun 1. A liquid that, ends up inside your mouth or your eyes no matter how hard you try. 2. A liquid with a salt content three times that of Lot’s wife.

Sun Cream: noun. A cream designed to make you sticky, until you enter the sea, at which point you become slimy.

Surfing: verb 1. A sport that, when done by professionals, looks awesome, but when done by people like you and I, looks laughable. noun 2. A sport where people willingly tie a weight to their leg and then go swimming.

Tan: verb. What people go to the beach to do.

Burn: verb. What people end up doing.

Volleyball: noun. A sport designed to allow people to watch other people face-plant in the sand.

Maties captain interviewed Ivan O’Terrível

LAST week Monday, the Stellenbosch Maties Rugby team were crowned inaugural champions of the FNB Varsity Cup, beating UCT’s Ikey Tigers with a dramatic last minute try. VARSITY sat down with Maties captain, Bolla Booysen, to talk about the team’s campaign during the competition.

VARSITY: Let’s get down to it, the Ikeys were ranked the worst team when the season started, but finished on top of the log, and lost only one match by what was a very lucky try.

MATIES: Well, they just disproved the stereotype; that UCT is more than just brains, but can also play a good ball game. It’s the same with Maties; people think we’re just about rugby, and can’t do anything in academics, but they must remember that you can’t spell ‘Smartie’ without ‘Matie’.

VARSITY: It was a good tournament overall. What did you think of the other university teams and their performances?

MATIES: We have a strong rugby culture here, so it were good and inspiring for us to see all these guys coming all over and putting on their little white shorts to keep

up the art of ball-playing. Playing some of the teams made it hard, playing UCT of course made it harder, but that just made it more exciting for us really.

VARSITY: Whether it is approved of or not, you are the winners of the competition. What would you underline as the reason for your team’s success?

MATIES: The team is completely focused. When a boy comes running down the field in his tight little shorts, we know to tackle him, and get his ball. We know never to let go of the ball until we’ve grounded it behind our opposition’s pole. We just don’t get distracted like that.

VARSITY: The experimental laws of rugby have shaken things up a bit. In the final against UCT, the white card rule was tried out.

What are your thoughts on that?

MATIES: The rule itself is fine, but we do feel that calling white is very out of date. If it were an ivory white, or maybe a snorkel blue, then it would be better.

VARSITY: Thanks for your time. It was a good game you played.

MATIES: We came from behind in this last game, and that’s always satisfying. We look forward to the next ball game.

15

Sports

Volume 67 Number 5

Blowing up a storm

Swimming all the way to Beijing

RYK nEethling - is there gold in the future? running up a storm - showing off their Erasmus magic skills ful tour in the franchise’s history, snapping up 16 points in four matches. The Stormers were able to record three wins over the Reds, Chiefs and the Force, while losing narrowly to the Blues. Even though Erasmus’s boys had a difficult start to the competition, the latest results bode in the their favour. In 1999, when the Stormers reached their first semi-final, the team only managed to record two wins over the Hurricanes and the Waratahs while on tour. Similarly, in 2004, when the team recorded their sec-

SA’s big shot

ond semi-final place, the side netted nine points after beating the Reds in Brisbane and smashing the Blues 51-23 in Auckland.

After recording a strong 3422 win on the weekend against the Cheetahs, Stormers have the opportunity to build on their current form and push for a semi-final place. With a little bit of help from their South African counterparts and a bit of Erasmus’s magic, Stormers’ faithful may even see their first home semi-final in several years.

Photo Courtesy of collegepublisher.com

Nicole Jonklass profiles rising tennis sensation, Kevin Anderson.

IN RECENT weeks, one South African tennis player has created a buzz in the international men’s tennis circuit. That player is Kevin Anderson. At 6’ 7”, Anderson is hard to miss – and hardly misses any tennis balls that come his way either.

Anderson, 21, caused arguably one of the biggest upsets on the ATP Masters tour this year when he beat Serbian world number 3, Novak Djokovic, 7-6 (7-1) 3-6 64 in the second round of the Sony Ericsson Open held in Miami, Florida.

This victory on 26 March is not to be taken lightly, considering the fact that Djokovic, the 2008 Australian Open Champion, had up until then been enjoying an excellent hard-court season, clinching the title at Indian Wells the Sunday before his match against Anderson.

It is tempting to blame fatigue resulting from his Indian Wells victory for Djokovic’s loss. However, in a post-match interview, even the Serb was quick to comment on his opponent’s talents. ‘He’s really tall, and with that height you expect him not to move so well. But he obviously has good coordination,’ said Djokovic.

Anderson’s arsenal also includes a powerful serve and a hard, heavy ground stroke. He generally plays from the back of the court, but in a recent interview he revealed plans to adapt his usual playing-style by moving closer to the baseline and ‘progressing more often to the net’.

This should give him some advantage over the numerous baseliners on the ATP circuit.

Despite losing to Russian world number 32, Igor Andreev, in a tight three-set match in the next round of the $7.54m Miami tournament, Anderson is no onehit-wonder. After turning profes-

Photo Courtesy of flickr.com

NEWLANDS’ faithfuls rejoiced in July when former Springbok flanker and Cheetahs’ Super 14 coach, Rassie Erasmus, was appointed as the Stormers’ head coach. On his arrival, Erasmus had already built up a formidable reputation with the Cheetahs, with his unusual coaching strategies, flashing lights and rolling substitutes.

Although Erasmus received early criticism after the Stormers lost their first three games, it seems as though he has been able to inject some passion back into a struggling side.

The rejuvenated Stormers side has improved in almost all facets of the game since the beginning of the season. The forwards are fiercely competing at the breakdown and are securing great ball for the backs. After a shaky start to the competition, Stormers fly-half Peter Grant has improved both his kicking and running game.

However, the definite star of this year’s Super 14 is top try scorer Tonderai Chavhanga. Chavhanga’s effortless pace and electric acceleration, combined with his ability to run at the opposition at an angle, has dissected many opposing backlines.

However, Stormers’ successful Australian tour cannot be attributed to a handful of players. The team recorded their most success-

Photo Courtesy of scrum.com

Nicholas Duminy

giant threat - Kevin Anderson in action sional in 2007, with a meagre world-ranking of 550, he steadily improved upon this position and after only six months on the men’s tour, he is currently the world’s 110th best player.

A qualifier at the 2008 Australian Open, Anderson’s best result since turning professional has been at the 2008 Las Vegas Open where he became the first South African singles player in two years to reach an ATP final.

Currently South Africa’s number 1 player, Anderson spearheaded the country’s Davis Cup team that took part in a Euro-Africa Group 2 first round tie against Finland held in Helsinki this past weekend.

The South Africans won the tie 41, with Anderson winning both of his matches, including a convincing four-set victory against world number 26 Jarkko Nieminen.

Anderson completed his high school career in Johannesburg and then spent three years studying at Illinois University on a scholarship, where, he played in the national Collegiate Tennis Circuit, achieving a first-place doubles ranking in 2006 with tennis partner Ryan Rowe. When he turned professional in 2007, he was the fourth best singles player in the Collegiate 1st Division.

To build on his current run

of success, it is important for Anderson to gain as much experience as possible, by playing in major tournaments and against high-ranked players. However, with the recent trend in men’s tennis of qualifiers and unseeded players beating their higherranked counterparts to tournament finals, Anderson may face some of his stiffest competition from players who, like him, are eager to expand their trophy collections. Improving his ATP ranking would also require continuing his good form on hard court into the upcoming clay – and grass-court seasons.

In a recent interview with The Sunday Times, Anderson described his ultimate goal as being the number one player in the world. Coincidentally, Anderson practiced with the current world number one, Roger Federer, before his match against Djokovic. ‘We played a couple of sets, and they were close, but it was just a practice,’ said Anderson in the interview. Then again, practice, especially the type that involves almost beating a player like Federer, does make perfect.

SA Tennis fans should therefore gear up to see more great things from the big player with the big shots, Kevin Anderson.

Lindi Brownell LAST week, Durban played host to one of the most significant events in a South African swimmer’s calendar. Our swimmers were put to the test at the Telkom SA National Aquatic Championships, an event that sets out to reveal the qualifying times for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

Roland Schoeman became the first swimmer to qualify for this year’s Olympics, after managing to finish the men’s 50m freestyle in 22.13 seconds, only seven split seconds from falling short of the 23-second qualifying target. This marked a positive start for the swimmer, however it was to be short-lived. Schoeman missed the mark for the coveted 100m freestyle by a mere nine split seconds.

Despite the fact that he finished in third place, it was not enough, as only two swimmers from each country can compete in an event.

Lyndon Ferns and Ryk Neethling clinched the two top spots respectively, Ferns clocking a cool 49.12 seconds followed by Neethling three split seconds later.

Ferns, who also qualified for the 100m butterfly, is proud of his achievement and is looking forward to competing in Beijing. ‘It’s every athlete’s dream to represent their country at the Olympics and when one swims in a field of the quality that I did tonight, it’s a great feeling to come out on top.’

Ferns, who formed a part of the team who took gold in Athens in 2004 for the 4x100m freestyle

relay, said, ‘I think we can pull it off again.’ Neethling, also one of the 2004 golden boys, would have been disappointed to finish behind Ferns in the 100m freestyle, as he was aiming for the top time. Prior to the event, he said, ‘I’m doing the 50m and 100m freestyle, but the focus is on the 100m because of the 4x100.’ Second is certainly nothing to smirk at and Neethling was happy with the end result.

One just has to hope that when it comes down to the line in August, his persistent right shoulder injury doesn’t play up.

Many believe that the International Olympic Committee (IOC) should reconsider the Olympics being held in Beijing, including our very own Roland Schoeman. ‘The IOC should stand up and say, ‘The way these people [Tibetans] are being treated is not acceptable.’ Severe human rights violations have justifiably overshadowed the triumphs of Olympic hopefuls.

Despite this, the country’s swimmers have already proved their worth four months before crunch time. Altogether, ten South African men have qualified for the Olympics. Six women, including Suzaan van Biljon, Melissa Corfe and 15-year-old Jessica Pengelly have also made the grade. It is without a doubt that South African swimmers are set to represent in Beijing. One thing is for sure; those waiting back home will be looking forward to seeing a flurry of medals from our green and gold champions.

Immelman’s piece of history Rory Holmes

TREVOR Immelman secured his place in the annals of history on Sunday when he became the first South African to win the US Masters in Augusta since Gary Player 30 years ago. Over night, Immelman lead by two, with pre-tournament favourite, Tiger Woods, six off the lead. Going into the final round of the week with a commanding lead, pressure seemed to get to Immelman slightly as he floundered a bit in the windy conditions, whilst Woods made his push to overtake him in the finals day play.

Immelman was plagued with bad luck as he managed to pull his drive on the 16 hole into the water hazard for a double bogey on the par three, then ended up in the bunker on the 17 only, just saving par with a great bunker shot. In comparison, Woods managed three birdies and looked set

to come from behind and take the Green Jacket, but then followed with three bogeys to offset the gain he had achieved.

Speaking after the event, Immelman commented on his composure in the final day which had threatened to end his title ambitions, ‘That’s all I kept saying to myself, just hang in there and play one shot at a time. There’s a disaster around every corner, as I showed on 16. I just tried to hang in there and I’m proud of myself for doing that. I can’t believe I did it.’

The result sees Woods’ own personal quest to win all four Masters events in a single year and another place in the history books end with a loss. South African golf fans, however, will be content with the loss of that piece of history, with the Green Jacket resting on the shoulders of one of their own.

From heaven to heart break THE FINAL of the Varsity Cup last week between Maties and Ikeys showed just how cruel a game of rugby can be. Going into the game there was already tension in the media due to the final being awarded to Stellenbosch despite UCT topping the log. Keo. co.za had this to say on the matter before the game, ‘There is little doubt home advantage will be a factor, and unfortunately for the Ikeys, television ratings and the all-important rand have won over the game itself. In any other competition in the world, a team finishing top of the league earns the right to play at home. Not so on this occasion.’

Maties, who received special dispensation to play Captain Benni Basson, who is 26 and thus ineligible for the competition, further bolstered their starting line-up with two Stormers players, Joe Pietersen and Justin De Jongh.

Both of whom had previously not played in the competition. This left a bitter taste in the mouths of some, and the general feeling was that Maties had tried their luck and gotten away with it too many times.

Despite the controversy surrounding the match, UCT went into the game firing on all cylinders and were the first to score a try in reply to Maties early penalty. Maties were always going to try and keep it tight in order to nullify the sublime UCT backline, and this tactic resulted in many short-arm free-kicks and penal-

Photo Courtesy of Justin Andrews

Rory Holmes

High hopes - Excellent away support, not enough to see Ikeys through to victory in the final. ties being awarded. This allowed Stellenbosch to take a 6-5 lead into half-time. Despite this, it was clear that UCT had the advantage going into the break, and they managed to keep up the pressure afterwards, scoring another try to make it 10-6 after the conversion was missed.

Unfortunately, an injury to Ikey’s full-back Robert Hopwood, who had been in great form all night and was seriously worrying the home side’s defence, turned the game somewhat as Maties applied pressure to UCT’s try-line and were only stopped by fantastic defence and successful use of the new white card rule, which was used to emabarrass the referee on two occasions as his decisions were overturned on appeal.

Leading 10-9 in the dying minutes, UCT looked set to secure

their fairy tale Varsity Cup win.

However, the gods of Rugby had other ideas. Maties managed to turn-over the ball from a ruck in the last movement of play and swing it wide to flying winger Pietersen, who went over in the corner to seal it for Maties.

The unfortunate loss in the final should take nothing away from the young UCT team that we saw this year. They truly set the tournament alight from the beginning and shocked opposition teams with their fluid style of play under coach John Dobson. Perhaps what is to be learned from this year, is the need to seriously improve UCT’s home field, as with better seating and better lighting it would have been the ideal venue for the final. One thing is for sure though, I can’t wait for next year’s tournament.

shattered - Ikeys loose forward Kyle Brown distraught after the close loss to Die Maties

Champions League drama THIS week’s second-leg, quarterfinal ties in the UEFA Champions League set up a mouthwatering semi-final round to be played between the giants of European football. The highlight of the week was the titanic clash between Liverpool and Arsenal. Both sides came out firing on the night after the controversial 1-1 draw at the Emirates stadium, and there was a lot of hype over what would happen at Anfield on Tuesday.

The match lived up to its billing as Arsenal scored first only to be heartbroken by a Sami Hypia header that sailed into the net, and then again by a screaming Fernando Torres goal, typical of the strikes that have made him a firm favourite with the Scousers this season.

All was not lost, however: After an inspirational run by youngster Theo Walcott from deep in his own half, and then the pass into the box to Adebayor, who duly slotted the goal, the Gunners were back on top, leading by the away goals rule. Unfortunately, this only made the agony even greater for the Londoners, as minutes later Ryan Babel was controversially adjudged to have been fouled in the box, and Steven Gerrard made no mistake of the spot kick. With seconds left in the game, Arsenal poured all their men forward, only

to have salt rubbed in the wound as Babel proceeded in sliding the ball on the counterattack past the diving keeper, bringing the score to 4-2.

The result left Arsenal incensed and Liverpool looking forward to their semi-final clash with Chelsea, who beat Fenerbache comfortably at home. This will be their third meeting at this stage of the competition in four years, Liverpool having edged Chelsea in penalties on the previous occasion.

The other two matches were Manchester United against Roma at home, leading 2-0 on aggregate, and Barcelona against Schalke 04, leading 1-0 going into the match.

The United match never really got

going as the English champions were content to let Roma take the initiative and do the attacking, something Italian teams are notoriously bad at doing. It was only in the seventieth minute that the dead-lock was finally broken, with a Carlos Tevez header letting Manchester United run out comfortable 3-0 winners on aggregate.

This set up a tie with giants Barcelona, who beat Schalke 04 two nil on aggregate. The 2006 champions have been under fire recently due to rumours of illdiscipline in the squad from stars such as Deco and Ronaldhino.

This has led to speculation of a lack of team harmony and quesPhoto Courtesy of football-wallpapers.com

Rory Holmes

magic strike - Fernando Torres helps see Liverpool through to the final four

tions about their capabilities to pull off anything of note this season. This, and their run of poor results, has put manager Frank Rijkaard in a must-win situation to assure some silverware this season (and perhaps his job).

With the English Derby match and the pressure Barcelona will be feeling from the media, the 2008

semi-finals look set to be some of the best yet. There is no denying that the English clubs have been dominant this season, and for one of them not to go all the way would be almost impossible.

However, the Champions League is always full of surprises – just ask FC Porto.