Edition 7: 2008

The role of Student Media

SEXPO exploits

page 12

page 9

Alcohol in Res page 10

UCT open day - Despite the abysmal weather, prospective students turned out in hordes to tour campus

UCT Senate stalls on religious initiative Philippa Levenberg

UCT has temporarily resolved not to support a proposal requesting that university policy be amended to accommodate religious minority groups on campus. This was on the grounds that UCT is a secular institution and that the acceptance of this submission would cause disruption to the scheduling of academic activities.

The proposal made two main appeals: That Muslim, Jewish, Hindu and Seventh Day Adventist religious practices in particular be recognised by not scheduling examinations between noon and 2 pm or after sunset on Fridays, as well as during five specified religious holidays in the year; Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Diwali, Eid-ul-Fitr, and Eid-ul-Adha.

These occasions are considered by these faiths to be the most significant on their respective religious calendars.

An appeal was made for condoned absences from other academic activities, including tests and exams, scheduled for the holy days mentioned that did not fall within either the June or November examination periods. It was also requested that provisions be made for a permanent prayer venue for Muslim students during Meridian

on Fridays.

The submission was made by the South African Students’ Congress (SASCO) UCT, the Muslim Students Association (MSA), the South African Union of Jewish Students (SAUJS), the Hindu Students’ Society (HSS), and the Seventh Day Adventist Student Movement. It was referred to the Senate Executive Committee (SEC), comprising of UCT Faculty Deans, Deputy ViceChancellors, Vice-Chancellors and some Executive Directors, as well as the University Student Affairs Committee (USAC), the SRC and Student Assembly, for consideration.

USAC unanimously accepted the proposal. The SEC argued that UCT was a secularist university, and while it recognises various religions, it is stipulated in the University’s statute that ‘no preference may be given to or advantage withheld from any person on the grounds of that person’s religion, culture, belief or opinion.’

SRC Treasurer and member of SASCO UCT, Yusuf Mowlana, pointed out that the status quo allows certain students to practise their faith, as the most significant Christian observances are public holidays.

Continued on page 3...

DASO-SASCO tension laid bare staff writer ON Wednesday 30 April, DASO held a press conference to contest the removal of DASO chairperson, Pierre Jansen, from a Student Assembly sitting. Jansen was acting as the official proxy for Chris Ryall, head of DASO UCT. He was escorted out of the sitting by a CPS officer following a comment he made towards Tende Makofane, the chairperson of Student Assembly: ‘With all due respect Chairperson, we know that you are all for Communism, but now is not the time for Stalinist tactics.’ Jansen said the statement was ‘meant to be a humorous aside, not to cause offence.’

DASO believes Makofane’s ‘integrity to deal with his responsibility as Chair of SAMC as a person was deeply flawed’. Ryall also stated that there were ‘numerous inconsistencies in the SAMC ruling’ with regards to Jansen’s removal from the sitting.

DASO has proposed a motion of censure against Makofane for two main reasons: Student Assembly should remain as apolitical as possible and the fact that Makofane is serving as chairperson of both SASCO and the Student Assembly Management Committee (SAMC) represents a conflict of interest. According to DASO, this was demonstrated by the fact that Makofane failed to justify his ruling and did not offer Jansen the opportunity to retract or apologise.

Makofane said, ‘... they can still bring their case forward to the next Student Assembly sitting, where it will be tested whether Student Assembly members agree with them on this one, or whether they are just making me their political target, due to the fact that I happen to be affiliated with SASCO, which they consider as their arch political rival.’

DASO argued that Jansen was not forewarned before being removed from the sitting. Makofane countered this accusation by saying: ‘At the beginning of the last Student Assembly sitting, I made it clear that I will not be tolerating disorder during the sitting. Pierre Jansen and other DASO members’ behaviour during the last Student Assembly sitting was generally disorderly. This includes some of them heckling other Student Assembly members, Geordin HillLewis standing up and instructing me (the Chairperson of Student Assembly) to recognise them, and the last incident was when the DASO Chairperson called me names when he was addressing the Student Assembly sitting.’

Student Assembly standing rule 8 says: ‘If the Chairperson is of the opinion that a member is deliberately contravening a provision of these Rules, or that a member is in contempt of or is disregarding the authority of the Chairperson, or that a member’s conduct is grossly disorderly, either due to insobriety or dissatisfaction with proceeding, and such a member has been forewarned; the Chairperson may order the member to withdraw from the proceedings for the remainder of the sitting.’

Makofane went on to say, ‘I want to make it clear that it was Student Assembly members themselves who took offence from his words and called him out of order, requesting that he be kicked out of Student Assembly.’

Ryall mentioned that Makofane had been offered the opportunity to defend his position on the matter at the press conference. He declined the invitation.

Deputy Chair of SASCO, Mashao Moshabela, caused a stir at the press conference, when he claimed that labelling a person a communist was an insult akin to

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy

Photo by Justin Andrews

Photo by Justin Andrews

13 May 2008 · Volume 67, Number 7 · 021 650 3543 · varsitynewspaper@gmail.com

Making Waves - Mashao Moshabela at the DASO press conference calling someone a kaffir.

Moshabela arrived more than 30 minutes late for the conference and was given the opportunity to address the attendees. Makofane defended Moshabela’s outburst in saying, ‘The use of the word kaffir should be considered according to the context in which it was used, and not merely by reacting to the fact that it was mentioned in an example. The Deputy Chairperson of SASCO was trying to make a comparison that, in his opinion, what the DASO Chairperson called me at Student Assembly is as offensive as someone using the ‘K’ word on someone else. It is not like he used the word to refer to someone else...hence there is no merit to regard his mention of that word as offensive or disturbing.’

Moshabela added that ‘DASO is just seeking public attention and publicity.’

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news

UCT STAFF and students were shocked to hear that another Professor had died in a tragic accident. Professor George Lindsey, 57, died at the scene after his light-aircraft, a Jabiru two-seater, crashed into an electricity pole adjacent to the Fisantekraal airstrip. This occurred on the outskirts of Durbanville, on Friday 2 May. His daughter, Claire Lindsey, 23, who was in the passenger seat, was admitted to Vincent Pallotti Hospital, in Pinelands, with a broken left leg. The Jabiru allegedly crashed as a result of fuel problems, but the matter is still under investigation by the Civil Aviation Authority.

Professor Lindsey was promoted to professor in the Department of Molecular and Cell Biology in January 2008. Previously, he

worked as a researcher at the UCT Medical School from 19741978 and was appointed to an academic position in the Dept of Biochemistry at UCT in 1979.

UCT’s Acting Vice-Chancellor and Principal, Professor, Martin West, expressed his condolences to the family and friends of Professor Lindsey, on behalf of the entire community of UCT: ‘This is a sad loss for the University. He has been a member of the UCT community for over 30 years.’ He will be sorely missed by his students and fellow staff members, and will always be remembered for his love of his laboratory and his caring countenance.

Professor Lindsey was the second UCT Professor to have been tragically killed within the past two weeks. The accident occurred just 10 days after an attempted hijacking claimed the life of Associate Professor Kevin Rochford.

UCT Press pays tribute to J. M. Coetzee Matthew Van Teijlingen

Photos courtesy of stanford.edu

A COLLECTION of academic papers on Nobel Prize winning author J. M. Coetzee is currently being compiled into a book at the University of Cape Town by lecturer and researcher, Carrol Clarkson. The book, entitled J. M. Coetzee and the Aesthetics of Place, will be one of the first books printed by the newly reopened UCT Press in more than a decade.

Clarkson was motivated to compile the book by students of the University. ‘The UCT mission statement says that good research results in good teaching, but I have found that good teaching results in good research’, says Clarkson.

Academic interest in the Nobel laureate is high at the University, partly because Coetzee himself studied and taught there. Clarkson was approached by numerous Honours and Masters students concerning their dissertations. ‘So many of those students came to speak to me about Coetzee,’ she says. ‘That’s when I decided to do the discussion group.’ The discussion group, which has been taking place on a regular basis over the past year, encourages students and staff alike to present papers on Coetzee for informal discussion.

The meetings have been very well

attended within UCT and in the form of visiting professors and postgraduate students.

The ‘Coetzee Collective’, as it is affectionately known, has drawn international interest. Sam Durrant, a visiting professor from Leeds University was asked by Clarkson to present a paper, and subsequently to contribute to the book. Other international contributors include Rebecca Saunders from Illinois State, Kjetil Enstad from Norway, David Attwell from England and Shaun Irlam from Buffalo State. The book will contain papers by Masters and PhD students of UCT, including Donald Powers and Arthur Rose.

Staff contributors include Simon van Schalkwyk, Ian Glenn and John Higgins.

There will also be an interview with Antoinette Engel, a third-year UCT English student, who played the role of Melanie Isaacs next to John Malkovich in the film adaptation of Coetzee’s novel, Disgrace. The movie was filmed on UCT’s Upper Campus over the 2007 Easter weekend. Stephen Buchanan-Clarke, an English student is positive about the outcome of the book, ‘I’m really excited.

I’m always looking for new material on Coetzee, and it’s great that we are writing about him from his original country.’

Zerene Haddad

SEVERAL UCT residences are participating in the South African Breweries (SAB) sponsored ‘Pimp My Bar’ competition. Starting in O-week, the competition has included challenges such as the RAG Floats, building a beer can mountain, the RAG Olympics, touch rugby and ticket sales for RAG events. The final challenge took place last week on campus in conjunction with the Buddy Up Campaign.

Although two separate initiatives, the Buddy Up Campaign was incorporated into the Pimp My Bar competition as a challenge for the residences. The aim of the Buddy Up Campaign is to encourage students when drinking to have a ‘buddy’ who does not drink and is responsible for getting everyone home safely. The Buddy Up Campaign is the brainchild of the Industry Association for Responsible Alcohol Use (ARA) and is supported by RAG at UCT. As part of the competition, Smuts Hall created a superhero figure, known as ‘Designated Dave’ who was easy to spot on campus last week as he handed out flyers and promoted the ARA cause, whilst kitted out in full superhero regalia.

Sean Dayton, Entertainment Rep of Smuts Hall, told VARSITY, ‘hopefully the moral voice of Designated Dave will play guilty conscience in the minds of UCT students when they’re out on the town.’ The participating students have used all resources available

whooosh! - Designated Dave: UCT’s sober student superhero? to them to publicise the Buddy Up Campaign including banners on campus, announcements in lectures, slots on UCT Radio and making an appearance in Claremont on student nights. Other residences involved are Kopano, Leo Marquard and College House.

ARA stipulates on its flyers that this is not an anti-drinking campaign, but rather a social awareness programme. The flyers they distribute have information regarding alcohol consumption and the legal alcohol limit for driving. In South Africa’s four biggest cities, 45% of non-natural deaths involve alcohol abuse; incidents involving students and irresponsible drinking are rife.

Bianca Hall of RAG told VARSITY that, ‘Pimp My Bar has been successful because it gives the res’ a really good incentive

to get involved. The residences do so much for RAG in terms of ticket sales, participation etc. that it’s a way of showing our appreciation.’ The competition is made up of mini-challenges in which every residence can participate and for which they earn points. Although a SAB initiative, it has been overseen by RAG and requires either the House Committee RAG or Entertainment representative from each residence to get students involved the minichallenges. The winning residence will win merchandise to the value of R30,000 with which to makeover their bars. The competition was drawn to a close with the Buddy Up Campaign and the winner will be notified by the end of the semester.

Intercampus Zerene Haddad Murder most foul at University of Limpopo THREE students from the University of Limpopo await trial over the murder of a fellow student, Nkosinathi Mhlongo, in February 2008. The three allegedly beat Nkosinathi Mhlongo during a minibus trip when he apparently refused to sing a ‘struggle’ song on a minibus ferrying the students to Turfloop. According to the University, the accused, affiliated to SASCO, asked for a lift to Polokwane in a minibus that transported only members of the Students Christian Organisation (SCO).

The University of Limpopo’s Turfloop campus said that George Tsoai, 24, Raymond Mabelebele, 23 and Tibane Serumula, 22, would be suspended from the institution, if and when they were released from jail. The students were denied bail initially by the Mankweng magistrate’s court in connection with the killing.

‘An argument ensued when they forcefully tried to stop the SCO members from singing Christian songs. Mhlongo allegedly refused to sing their protest songs and was allegedly beaten all the way from Mokgophong to Mankweng Hospital.’ Police spokesman, Malan Nchabeleng, said his body was thrown out of the rear window of the minibus near the hospital.

Christian organisations have subsequently called for SASCO to be suspended at the University of Limpopo. afrodissident.wordpress.com

Nobel Laureate - J. M. Coetzee’s work has inspired students over the years, with their research now being compiled in a collection.

Photo by Sean Dayton

Matthew van Teijlingen

Pimp my bar please

Photo courtesy of www.cnn.com/studentnews

Accident claims another Prof’s life

Volume 67 Number 7

Drug Bust at San Diego State Uni A DRUG bust took place recently

Drug Stash - Drugs recovered from the Theta Chi fraternity. at the University of San Diego. The bust, dubbed Operation Sudden Fall, saw undercover agents posed as college students to bust more than 100 suspected drug dealers at San Diego State University.

The federal agents attended one or two parties, but never actually went to class or lived in the dorms.

Instead, they arranged meetings with suspected dealers and asked about buying cocaine, ecstasy, methamphetamine, marijuana and other drugs, authorities said last Wednesday.

The day after the drug sweep landed members of three fraternities in jail and led to the suspension of Theta Chi and five other fraternities pending a hearing on evidence gathered during the investigation. Students who had gotten caught for minor drug offences or other crimes, quickly turned informants and used text messages to introduce their drug dealers to undercover agents.

Dealers made handoffs in front of dorms, in parking lots or behind frat houses, sometimes in broad daylight in full view of surveillance cameras.

They apparently made little effort to launder their spoils.

Authorities made 128 arrests in total over the five-month operation. Campus police started the probe a year ago after the cocaine overdose death of a freshman sorority member, but they soon called in federal agents to provide fresh faces on campus and supply the money needed to purchase drugs.

During the investigation, agents quickly worked their way to Fraternity Row, where the main target was Theta Chi. They discovered six of its members were operating a sophisticated drug business, with younger ‘apprentice’ members accompanying older members to drug deals in order to learn how the business was run, authorities say.

The 19-year-old ringleader brazenly sent out text messages advertising weekend blowout sales on cocaine. Apart from that, however, the fraternity did little to attract attention. In fact, it was known for having a no-alcohol policy at its rundown gray house.

One informant told investigators the profits from drug sales were being plowed back into the fraternity’s operating budget.

Varsity

Photo by Alexander Spoor

Au revoir ViceChancellor

On the evening of Friday 9 May, Kopano and Graça Machel Residents officially said farewell to the outgoingVice-Chancellor, Prof Njabulo Ndebele, at a High Table Dinner themed: ‘Bon Voyage to our Vice Chancellor’. Professor Ndebele gave a speech on his Kuluma project, which encourages people ‘to speak up’ and thus celebrate our beautiful country’s diversity. The event was attended by both Kopano and Graça Machel residents, as well as a number of Professor Ndebele’s colleagues. He is pictured here with Graça Machel Head Student Tamika Doubell and Kopano Head Student Dulan Simons. Prof Ndebele will be replaced by Dr Max Price in June.

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news Continued from page 1 He said that practising your religion is a constitutional right and that the proposal put forward to the SEC was ‘in line with institutional and national transformation policies.’

Religious Head of HSS, Sravanthi Calla, commented that UCT had been aware of the conflict between religious observances and academic activities for a number of years. The ‘same response that it [UCT] is secular is not a good argument’, she said.

The SEC claimed that scheduling problems would arise if the proposal was accepted. This is because a sizeable number of class tests, lectures and tutorials would be affected and both examination periods would have to be extended by an additional day. This was excluding the needs of those faiths that had not been included in the proposal.

Mowlana said UCT had not been asked to reschedule lectures and that this had been incorrectly assumed. The proposal requested that the exam slots be removed that presented a clash with major religious holidays, already reflected in the UCT calendar. They were expected to be observed

by Departments when scheduling academic activities. This also includes the 12:30 pm exam session on a Friday to accommodate Jumu’ah, Muslim prayers, and after sunset on Fridays in the interests of Jewish students and Seventh Day Adventists who observe the Sabbath.

Chair of MSA, Ridwaan Kalla, stressed the importance and obligatory nature of observing Jumu’ah in the Muslim tradition. He said that in some instances, when three prayers are missed, it is considered to be a denouncement of the faith.

Kalla said that MSA’s real concern was the issue of exam clashes, which also affected the occasions of Eid-ul-Fitr, and Eid-ul-Adha.

Students who elected to observe these holidays, were required to apply for deferred examinations as stipulated by University policy.

This not only means that UCT students in their final year of study are forced to graduate the following year in the case of exams occurring during the November examination period, but that they are also denied a second chance if they fail. This is a privilege granted to other students. According to Kalla, not all academic subjects offer a deferment. He estimated that the number of Muslim students on campus exceeded 2,000.

Siphokazi Jones, Chair or the Seventh Day Adventist Student Movement, said the scheduling of exams during the Friday night Sabbath was ‘a very serious matter.’ Disallowing this observance constituted an ‘infringement on religious practices.’ Jones said that ‘religion plays a big role in our academics and affects our performance. It becomes a clash between religion and academics.’

Calla expressed that other universities such as UKZN and WITS made allowances for religious observances during exams. ‘Our needs aren’t important enough [to UCT],’ she said. ‘We are trying to do the bare minimum required by our religion.’ The HSS requested that the festival of Diwali be declared a non-exam day.

SAUJS was unavailable for comment.

The submission to the SEC also included a request from MSA for a permanent prayer venue for Jumu’ah. Jameson Hall is currently being used for this purpose when it is not booked for tests or exams, as it can accommodate the

large numbers of attendees. When this venue is unavailable, Muslim students have been forced to use the quad outside, which Kalla says is exposed to the elements, affecting concentration during prayer.

The SEC said that priority should be given to venue use for academic purposes. The matter has been referred to Properties and Services.

Kalla said that MSA hopes an alternate venue can be arranged as there is a 50% decrease of venue use on Fridays during Meridian.

UCT Vice-Principal, Prof.

Martin West commented that ‘this was a very complex issue, and is certainly not closed.’

Complications stem from the fact that the University’s examination timetable is determined by a national agenda and that UCT students within their respective religious groups are divided on the matter.’

Prof. Martin Hall, the DVC in charge of transformation at UCT, commented that while the solidarity demonstrated by these faithbased societies was commendable, the proposal did not include the needs of all minority religious groups on campus such as the Baha’i faith.

A UCT Honours student and member of the University’s Baha’i Society said that 12 November was one of the nine Baha’i holy says, celebrating the birth of Baha’u’llah, the prophet founder of the faith. She had previously been required to write an exam on this day as it falls within the November examination period.

Kalla encouraged other faithbased societies that were not included in the proposal, to come forward. ‘We won’t rest until this issue is resolved.’

The SRC will be taking the matter forward.

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Opinions Letters

The final word

VARSITY’s response in the opinion piece ‘Spit roasting: sexist or satirical?’ really shows what excellent bedfellows journalists and politician are: When put on the spot, it’s rare for either to answer the question. The students who wrote into VARSITY were raising intelligent, well-considered, relevant issues about Taylor’s article. These covered: How personally hurtful they found the article, the disjuncture between how your newspaper moralises about prejudice on other campuses and (in their opinion) seems to condone it on ours, the persistence of sexist views in the mainstream, and the boundaries of free speech.

The first two raise interesting questions about how VARISTY operates, and the last two are amongst the most pertinent issues in our society today. They did us all a favour by taking the time to write them down and send them to the newspaper.

For their pains, they are accused of: not understanding satire (i.e. not having a sense of humour), being narrow-minded, looking for ethics in the wrong place, and wanting VARSITY to be a ‘a UCT PR machine’.

VARSITY’s response, in dismissing the content of those complaints, confirmed every accusation in them. It championed the right of some to laugh over the right of others to be respected, it demonstrated hypocrisy, and it completely failed to consider those students’ point of view. The response concludes ‘Whether the article is funny or not is debatable…if you didn’t [find it funny] that’s alright as well’. It does not take a very advanced level of comprehension to understand that these students are not complaining because Taylor’s piece failed to make them giggle, or that their arguments could reasonably be reduced to that.

Malan says ‘Freedom of speech should not descend to this level’. Tam [who] says ‘Freedom of speech should not extend to sexism or hate speech towards women’. Winfield remarks that the article is published on a campus where there is ‘a serious problem … surrounding gender inequality.’ And VARSITY responds ‘When viewed in a satirical

manner, it becomes obvious that the writer does not really regard women as pieces of meat’. Are you kidding me? Who, other than VARSITY, is pretending that the real issue here is what the writer thinks of women? How can the self-proclaimed official student newspaper so wholly shirk the duty to articulate its position on freedom of speech when it is so obviously offending people, and possibly, even unintentionally, contributing to bigotry? The extent of the right to express ourselves in public forums versus the need to be tolerant in society where people have been deeply and personally hurt by prejudice, is an important debate.

Directly below the ‘Spit-roasting: sexist or satirical?’ is an opinion piece on David Bullard, lamenting the loss of his ‘humorous insight’ with a glib ‘teehee, that was bad taste’ approach to the column he got fired for. VARSITY seems to be toeing a line on that debate and is being entirely untransparent about where that line is.

It is easy to be dismissive. It is easy to accuse people who don’t laugh at the same jokes as us as not having sense of humour. It’s also easy to be insulting and call it ‘controversial’. What requires the use of critical brain functioning is to respond to the issues of the day in an intelligent and tolerant way. Maybe VARSITY should pause from patting itself on the back for ‘publishing diverse views’ and ‘stimulating debate’ and publish some journalism that does more than pretend to engage with it.

Simone Haysom VARSITY responds: The South African Constitution says that freedom of expression is not absolute. Freedom of expression is limited if it incites violence or can be classified as hate speech. As such, VARSITY would not publish articles which contained these infractions. This is the line which VARSITY would toe.

This correspondence is now closed.

Student assembly not for propaganda STUDENT Assembly is a forum for addressing student challenges, not political propaganda.

Mr Pierre Jansen was thrown out of Student Assembly on 23 April 2008 for making derogatory remarks, but he now interprets the situation as a threat to freedom of expression. I do not know which country Pierre Jansen and DASO come from, but according to the SA constitution, there are limitations to the freedom of expression. These include propaganda and advocacy for hatred. Jansen’s remarks, that I am ‘running the sitting with communist & Stalinist tactics’ have sparked a lot of outrage amongst Student Assembly members.

What makes it worse, is that his halfhearted apology is buffered by his excuse that his inflammatory remarks were meant to be a joke. This is very similar to what happened at UFS, whereby the perpetrators of racist propaganda tried to make excuses for their actions, claiming that they were meant to be a joke.

The bottom line is that there is nothing funny about hate speech, and if Pierre Jansen genuinely regrets making such insulting remarks, he should just apologise without making lame excuses.

His behavior, and a lot of other DASO observers at Student Assembly generally stunted the process of dealing with matters of concern to students.

During that Student Assembly sitting, we were meant to engage a report from the SRC Academic Council Chairperson, on how they have been addressing student challenges, such as the academic timetable, 24 hour library, and academic and financial exclusions e.t.c. Instead, we spent a great deal of time calling people like Pierre Jansen to order, to a point that he had to be thrown out of Student Assembly in order for us to continue the business of the day harmoniously. The Academic Council report wasn’t even delivered, due to these unnecessary delays.

The freedom for UCT students and student leaders to engage each other on matters of addressing student challenges at Student Assembly will always be protected, as this is the key role of Student Assembly.

However, Student Assembly must not be interpreted as a political playground for people who want to pursue their propaganda. We do not desire any propagandist hate speech from DASO, or any other student political organisation for that matter.

Tende Nicholus Makofane Student Assembly Chairperson 2008

To the ill-performing SRC As one can no longer hold his democratic rights of expression in suspenso, recent developments among the UCT student leadership inspire comment, and herein UCT is viewed as a nesting place of tomorrow’s leaders.

At the historic Polokwane conference, His Excellency Mbeki highlighted his concern for how the ANC was being used by some corruption-driven individuals as a mere vehicle for self enrichment. I remain in respectful agreement with him. It is upon the background of his speech that the following observations unfold.

It is beyond dispute that our SRC comprises of some ANC Youth League members, its campus political bedroom mate SASCO, and others such as the ever dust-firing DA. Now it transpires that certain SRC members have been accused of apparently engaging in activities against which His Excellency Mbeki lamented as constituting the rotten apple threatening the integrity and moral standing of the ANC. It has been reported that one SRC member was found to be in possession of stolen property. Another reportedly engaged in the abuse of UCT property

which was later stolen, under what some would term suspicious circumstances. And yet another, who campaigned under the DA, has been accused of having a track record where certain funds delegated to his care apparently went unaccounted for.

UCT is a breeding ground for future leaders, some who may end up leading South Africa herself.

The present mayhem within our SRC has revealed a vast lack of integrity, good stewardship, and direction that leads a reasonable intellectual to conclude that president Mbeki’s concerns were not ill-placed.

Indeed, it is a concern when individuals mandated to go and represent student interests end up engaging in a dereliction of duty. Protest is directed at the continued holding of public office by these confused delinquents. The already unpopular SRC must be saved from further disrepute, by the immediate resignation of the concerned gentlemen, like Spijo rightly did in 2006 amidst shaming allegations.

Thato Marumo

Volume 67 Number 7

Editorial Halfway through May is always a time of quiet desperation. Exams are approaching with frightening speed, and many students have been jolted out of their reveries as they realise just how much work they have neglected to do. In the midst of this hysteria, I find myself strangely complacent. My lack of academic paranoia is probably cause for concern, but at the same time, I’m quite enjoying this state of nihilism.

Exams have always been a bone contention at UCT. If it isn’t the compressed period in which we are expected to write, its the fact that some people have to write exams on religious holidays. Various religious societies have banded together to propose that exams not be scheduled on religious holidays. The issue has been taken to Senate, who have ‘temporarily resolved not to support’ the matter.

In UCT speak, this basically translates to rejection. The issue has been bounced back and forth between Senate and various student organisations for several years, proving that bureaucracy is the biggest deterrent to change Another factor which impedes the progress of effective change is the yearly changeover which all student organisations undergo. Just as executive committees establish themselves and become effective at challenging UCT policy, they have to hand their portfolios over to new and inexperienced members. This has stunted any institutional continuity, as new executives have to start the process all over again.

The battle which students have continually raised with the powers that be is the battle to extend the exam time-table. In its current incarnation, it has been taken up by the Law Students Council.

Intermediate law students suffer particularly, since they have to write eight exams on consecutive days. Hopefully the LSC will prevail, yet I don’t fancy their chances.

It doesn’t help matters when the SRC President takes a defeatist approach to changing the status quo. At the first Student Assembly, when the matter was first raised, the SRC President said that there was nothing we could do about the time-table, as it had already been set for 2009. This attitude of impotent resignation should not be seen in the only student who has a seat in Senate.

This is the final edition of VARSITY for the semester. We will be accepting applications for the position of DTP (Desktop Publishing) editor during the holidays. If you have any experience with design software and you’re not afraid of some hard work, we would encourage you to apply.

Enjoy the edition, Nabeelah

news gathering next newsgathering 31 July, during Meridian in LS2C

2008 collective editor Nabeelah Martin, deputy editor Kieran Duggan, chief sub editor Philippa Levenberg sub editors Jade Cooke, Maciek Dubla, Dianne Shelton operations manager Melissa Rassie images Justin Andrews & Martin Wilson news Zerene Haddad & Tatenda Goredema, focus Seamus Duggan & Nicole Jonklass business & technology Karl Thomson, opinions Tara Leverton, features Kate Collins & Jade Cooke arts & entertainment Lara Potgieter, humour Anton Taylor, sports Rory Holmes & Lindi Brownell finance & advertising team Philip Voget & Kimberly Urbaniak, marketing & brand manager Lauren Haller, marketing team Danielle Gordon IT manager Timothy Nchabaleng, website editor Emma Nherera, media school director Joy Waddel staff writers Julie Atmore, Erin Bates, David Brits, Lydia DePillis, Mandy Freeman, Danielle Gordon, Laing Lourens, Megan Lyons, Bianca Meyjes, Rémy Ngamije, Kayshinee Rye Ramchurn, Alessandro Rossi external contributors Will Clerke, Matthew van Teijlingen, Tsegofatso Mogane, Ben Steenhuisen

erratum In the last edition, VARSITY incorrectly stated that RAG had raised R50 000 from the RAG Fashion Show. In fact, they raised R90 000.

VARSITY apologises for the error. tel 021 650 3543 fax 021 650 2904 email varsitynewspaper@gmail.com location 5th Floor, Steve Biko Student Union Building, Upper Campus advertising email Phil Voget on bosvark23@yahoo.com or fax him on 021 650 2904. Rates and other information available upon request.

disclaimer

The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the University or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective. The Opinions Editor reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 5 pm on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously.

Nabeelah Martin

Kill as few digsmates as possible MAY is Mental Health Awareness Month in America. We do not have a Mental Health Awareness Month; if we did, it probably would extend into June. Instead, on campus we celebrate Mental Breakdown Awareness Month, gleefully observed by exam invigilators, and dreaded by everyone who has ever complained about the timetable.

I imagine; veterans of UCT, now 40, 50, 90 years in age, all experience the same rootless horror and phantom headaches as June and November approach.

They probably stay up until midnight all June, chain smoking and chain coffee drinking, without the slightest idea why.

As we lead up to exams, it is forgivable to feel a certain coolness towards one’s loved ones and friends. A certain shortness of temper when one’s digsmates make themselves a nuisance by breathing loudly in one’s presence.

A certain desire to run shrieking through the students hordes at Jammie, wielding a cleaver with joyful abandonment.

Exams have always seemed, to me, an inefficient and counterproductive way of determining a person’s competence. ‘Let’s see how well you function when, in the space of two weeks, you have to divert your attention four different ways, in preparation for a two-hour period of sitting in an uncomfortable chair and scribbling regurgitated words that will determine your standing in society for the rest of your life.’ If you claim to have disabilities in the sitting still and writing field, ADD or the like, you may be granted the leniency of an extra half an hour in which to scribble. See, how accommodating the benevolent overlords of Academia are?

It’s unavoidable, of course, at least until employers and professors develop a way of reading your level of knowledge and your capabilities directly from you brain, via some high-tech gadgetry that will eventually make written exams as antiquated as the strip (oh, how we would prefer the strip).

As we plough into our books and notes and pages on Vula – presuming you are blessed with professors who love you enough to provide such a facility – we must all bear in mind the reasons for our effort. When we pass, if we pass, we’ll one day be making a lot more money than all those people who don’t get to be here.

One little ship As the American empire goes into decline and the Chinese empire begins to ascend, it is comforting to know that our new benevolent overlords are possessed of exactly the same moral fibre as our old benevolent overlords.

America tries to present itself as a bastion of fairness and integrity; China does not bother, possibly because it knows no one would buy it for a second: ‘Yes, sweatshop labour. What is your insignificant little point?’(Have an unpleasant little story; I recently foundout that, on the very day I was born – not just the same date, same date, same year, only a few hours prior – America shot

down an Iraqi passenger plane.

Now, you’d think that this would be the sort of incident that – well, when the largest and, supposedly, the most democratic…they still had the stones to call themselves that in 1988, right? Oh, wait, of course they did, they’re still saying it today. As I was saying… the most powerful nation on Earth just kinda shoots 164 people out of the sky, mistaking them for a fighter jet.

That was the official explanation; they thought a fucking jumbo jet looked like a missile-carrier.

You would think someone would mention this to me? It might be commemorated? Instead, I find out about this subhuman atrocity on Wikipedia. A passenger plane gets shot down, read I, by the same lovely people who give us Broadway and Bill Bryson. And no apology is ever given, ever, and no one remembers.

Here’s what interests me most, though; this happened in 1988. No apology was issued then, no apology has sine been issued since… and everyone, myself included, was surprised when America went into Iraq. People! We KNEW these guys were crazy. We knew, dammit! Why did it come as such a surprise?)

It is not often that the people are in a position to do what the government will not. However, recently, when Chinese vessel carrying three million live rounds and 1,500 rocket launchers and heading for Zimbabwe attempted to dock in Durban, something strange happened. This was both shocking and alarming, for it was Durban, and Durban is a great place for holidays and sunshine and things that do not have anything to do with bloody armed struggles in neighbouring countries.

Not only did SATAWU refuse to let the ship dock in South Africa, it got Mozambique on the line and requested that they do the same. They did. Angola has since granted the lost, wayward little An Yue Jiang permission to dock, but not to unload its cargo.

The episode seems particularly striking in light of our President recently achieving a whole new level of non-involvement vis a vis Zimbabwe. Far from worrying about being seen as a puppet of the Western world, SATAWU Secretary General Randall Howard declared that, ‘In the Zimbabwean context, we are happy to be accused of being puppets of genuine democracy underpinned by a culture of respect for human and trade union rights.’

The possibility remains that Mbeki masterminded the whole thing, working behind the scenes with his magical wand of quiet diplomacy. But wouldn’t it be great to think that no one ordered them to do it? To think that common human decency actually reared its head and did not completely pussy out in the face of three million rounds? That some dockworkers, some small would-be cogs in this horrifying mess decided that, no, this was a bit too much?

That, exactly that, is the attitude we should expect from our country. If we can pull that off a little more often, who the hell cares about Eskom?

Let’s hope China doesn’t nuke us. Amandla.

WHEN Hermione Cronje of the Asset Forfeiture Unit spoke to law students earlier this year, she very nearly convinced me to embark on a future career in the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA). She made the job sound, if not glamorous, at least infinitely rewarding.

I could picture myself prosecuting underworld mafia bosses and relieving them of their ill-gained property.

However, when Parliament last week approved the General Law Amendment Bill and the National Prosecuting Amendment Bill, they rendered the NPA toothless.

These bills will pave the way for incorporation of the Directorate of Special Operations (better known as the Scorpions) into the SAPS. This means effectively that the NPA will be deprived of an investigative unit.

Last week also saw the belated release of the Khampepe Report.

This report was commissioned by Thabo Mbeki in 2006 to investigate whether the Scorpions should remain part of the NPA. Judge Khampepe found that while the Scorpions needed to be held accountable, and coordinate their efforts with the SAPS, they should remain a branch of the NPA. Thabo Mbeki sat on the report until the last possible moment. He

continually delayed its release, displaying gross administrative failure. The only fathomable reason for for this delay is that Mbeki wanted to be certain that the Scorpions met their demise.

ANC members with dubious interests initiated the process of dissolving the Scorpions. The attempt to dissolve the Scorpions has served to unite the disparate factions within the ANC, since each faction has a member who is under investigation. In Mbeki’s camp, Jackie Selebi has come under investigation regarding his relationship with mafia kingpin, Glen Aggliotti. Jacob Zuma himself is under investigation for bribery.

Both ANC camps have stressed the ‘constitutional imperative’ of a single police service. Yet their arguments are based on political expedience. The Scorpions have continually exposed corruption, including the Arms Deal saga and the Travelgate scandal. But they went to far when they sought to investigate the untouchables of the ANC. The victim in this sorry affair is Vusi Pikoli, the man who was too efficient in his investigations.

His reward for doing his job well came in the form of suspension from his post as National Director of Public Prosecutions.

The last chance to save the

Photo courtesy of clarevz.files.wordpress.com

NPA rendered toothless

Cannibal Salad Tara Leverton

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Scapegoat - Vusi Pikoli has taken the fall for being too efficient Scorpions is the constitutional challenge which concerned citizen, Hugh Glenister has lodged with the Constitutional Court.

Parliament may try to steamroll the bills through, but if the Court finds that the new legislation is unconstitutional, they have the power to repeal the bills.

All we can do is wait and see.

I can’t imagine being a prosecutor without the means to pursue investigations. In the meantime, I will defer my ambition to join the NPA.

Racism on campus: Hidden monster or urban legend?

TSHEGOFATSO MOGANE AS exhausted as this issue is, no thanks to the University of the Freestate videotape, one might assume that there is not much more to be said on the subject.

Except, of course, for that one niggling question that no-one can confidently answer: Do racial tensions on campus exist? And if so, who is the victim, how are these tensions manifested and why does it seem like only half the student population is aware of this issue, if there is an issue at all?

‘.. why is it that half of UCT seems to be asleep on the issue? ’

Recently, I undertook to do a survey of how many people genuinely believe that racism does exist on campus, and the results were (how should I put it) - ‘intriguing’ to say the least. I tried to make my participation pool as random and reflective as I possibly could, but it wasn’t long before I started noticing a trend. Most of the ‘newbies’, ranging from about 18-20 years old, all gave half-hearted and vague I’m-not-too-sure-butI-don’t-want-to-sound-ignorant answers. Like, perhaps or probably or my favourite: ‘From my point of view, not really!’ While the older, excuse me, ‘mature’ students were more definite in their answers; mostly saying yes across the spectrum.

So if some students are saying yes and can give detailed accounts of such incidents, and the SRC – who have increased protests

and activities concerning racism and transformation – can verify such claims. And if HESA (the Council of Higher Education in South Africa) deems it necessary to organise a team to probe racism in universities, including our own, due to rising concerns. Then why is it that half of UCT seems to be asleep regarding this issue?

An argument someone suggested was that the answer may lie in semantics. How does each individual define racism for themselves? Does racism have varying degrees? What constitutes racist tendencies? Is there a distinction between racist thinking as opposed to racialist thinking? DJ Fresh once made the joke, ‘I am not a racist, I just socialise with people I can identify with!’ Is this kind of thinking really racist, or is it just the way things are?

I am a firm believer in what you have experienced before is what you bring to every situation.

But I have also been subjected to the harshest forms, of what I call, racist behaviour. So, are certain people blowing this out of proportion because they are ‘too old and sensitive,’ or are we, the freshers, too naïve and closed up in our bubbles to see what’s going on? Like one girl who was brave enough to admit, ‘Yes [racism] does occur it’s just not my issue!’

This is probably the hardest question I’ve tried answering since I got to university, besides the subjectivity in language essay topic.

Too many underlying dynamics and issues are going on here. It is too personal for many and thus objectivity is hard to come by. So I guess the only answer I can give is: Only you can answer this one.

opinions 6 The reel is mightier than the pen

Volume 67 Number 7

BETWEEN the ages of six and 11, my life could be summed up in one word; television. I can scarcely remember what happened before and after I turned it on for my daily dose of K-TV. The only certainty was that I was not reading. It was at this time of life when Captain Planet and Beast Wars were my religion of choice, that my parents decided television addiction was not a desirable past time for their eldest son. I was hauled off to the nearest library where it was hoped that I would be intellectually stimulated. My first outing to the library was surreal; so many books, the air heavy with the smell of my worst nightmare: Knowledge. My first literary conquest was a twenty page reading book, squeezed in between episodes of X-Men. Nonetheless, it was an admirable feat by my standards, a breakaway from my staple diet of television.

Later, I began to haunt the library aisles, invading the worlds conjured up by the texts, devouring everything in my path. Dahl, Dickens and Twain all lay behind me, conquered, every ounce of literature bled from their printed pages. The world of literature was live, new worlds awaiting my curious mind behind paperback covers. It was a golden age of words, knowledge was the most democratic power and I eagerly wielded it.

The rise of cinema seems to have brought about the death of literature. The spinning of a film

reel has put a full stop to the longlived history that is the written word. The pen is no longer put to paper with the desire to tell a story, to entertain or to inform, but to capture the attention of a film producer, with the hope of gaining a lucrative film deal.

With Hollywood’s adaptations of works by famous authors such as C.S Lewis’s Prince Caspian and Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, the power and seduction of the lens has made the flicking of pages, a tedious affair, consuming valuable time in our fast-paced lives. The ease and disconnectivity with which a film can be viewed is now preferable to the longer, intellectually challenging act of reading. Authors themselves have started penning works that show the in-breeding of ideas, a loss of the creativity that was once the hallmark of literature. It is the same shit, just different toilet paper.

With fewer people reading, fewer people write, a trait that is evident in today’s media. The continued demise of literature not only affects the world of authors, but ultimately affects any field in which creativity is involved.

Homogenous music videos and even shallower songs are churned out by a declining industry; Rock does not roll anymore, Hip Hop has too many hips and does not make me hop and Pop’s bubble popped when the Backstreet Boys’ nuts dropped.

Perhaps the advent of cinema

Graphich by Remy Ngamije

Remy Ngamije laments the butchering of literature at the hands of the cinema screen

and advanced media heralds the social evolution of human beings; creating a world in which hearing and seeing a story is preferable to the jumpstarting of the imagination that is evoked by reading. With the price of a book being quadruple that of a ticket to the premier of the Dark Knight, it is understandable that libraries have become

places of study, venues in which to hastily complete assignments instead of spaces for embarking on written adventures.

Sitting in a theatre viewing a poor adaptation of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I was distressed to find the film unable to encapsulate the magnitude and depth of its

scripted inspiration; the actors (unable to act after six years) not doing justice to the characters in my mind . Bleeding ink onto paper and drinking the writer’s sanguine imagination seem to be dying arts, while, somewhere, turning on a television screen means that a book and a mind are closed.

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Taxi Violence rages on Lindi Brownell IT’S Tuesday night, the Shack is uncannily quiet and I am face to face with Taxi Violence. Taxi Violence is a term that many South Africans are familiar with, but in this case, it’s one that relates not to hostile behaviour, but to a band that has achieved high ranking status in the local rock music industry. After rounding up a few drinks, I sat down with the foursome to find out what their plans are and what they think of their success so far.

Their debut album, Untie Yourself, was recently nominated for Best English Rock Album at the South African Music Awards, and lead guitarist, Rian Zietsman is proud. ‘It’s an honour. They only chose five bands and we were one of them.’ Frontman George van der Spuy laughs, ‘All the bands that we were up against are signed by big labels – except us!’ Drummer Louis Nel continues, ‘I think it’s a good sign that they are recognising independent bands that don’t have the backing from major labels.’ However, the band was skeptical about the category, believing that their fellow nominees were not necessarily meant to be grouped together.

Nominees ranged from Seether to The Parlotones, two bands whose sounds are hardly comparable.

Louis says, ‘We would like to measure ourselves against the best of the best in our genre because only then will we know how good we are.’

The band has experienced a considerable amount of success since their inception in 2004, including being voted as Music24’s Best Live Act of 2007. One thing is certain: When Taxi Violence performs, they go all-out. Heads banging, jumping up and down, eyes closed. Rian says, ‘Since the beginning, we put emphasis on throwing a good show; play the hardest that you possibly can, and

13 – 24 May: Themba Shibase @ Photographers Gallery (Shortmarket Street) An exhibition by Themba Shibase entitled ‘Umhlaba Kabani?

(Whose Land?)’, which presents a critique on hybrid culture.

13 – 31 May: Prodigal @ Kalk Bay Theatre A play about an Eastern Cape farm boy who searches for fortune in Joburg.

Rah rah rah - Frontman George van der Spuy does the hardcore thing tion, and has already picked up the nickname ‘Asian Persuasion’.

George laughs, ‘After only his first gig, he persuaded the girls to come up to him and chat him up!’

For a band that is relatively young, Taxi Violence has a very mature sound, a quality of which they are proud. The band believes that this is due to George’s vocals and collaborative lyrics. Louis says, ‘We believe that a band is mature when the lyrics are mature.

You sing about real life.’ Jason agrees, ‘It’s about lyrics that you can relate to.’ George believes, ‘One person in the band can’t write the song alone; it always sounds better when we write the song together.’

Struggles for sponsorship in a niche market, a lack of funds and maintaining day jobs have not influenced the way in which Taxi Violence operates. They have chosen to walk the hard road, but have no regrets. What does Taxi Violence want for the future?

They want to be an international band living in Cape Town. More importantly, they want to keep local rock real.

Alcoholic artists anonymous David Brits takes a peek into the drinking underworld of contemporary production

IN MOST cases, when viewing art, alcohol is in many ways what petrol is for the motor car. It may look pretty cool without it, but with a little in your tank, the experience is bound to be a whole lot better.

Alcohol and art are no strangers. Their budding friendship can be traced back to the turn of the last century; to Paris, when the city was by far the most important centre of the international avantgarde. Here, on the societal fringe of a vibrant bourgeois city, artists and writers got creatively pissed in the cafés and studios – an activity, some argue, that encouraged the latest trends in art. Absinthe, that strong greenish-grey liqueur, whose original hallucinogenic kick is now reserved for those lucky Czech-Slovakians, was once the artist’s best buddy.

As one could imagine, during WWI, Paris’ popularity as a party place began to wane. Dodging both bullets and the draft, artists across Western Europe’s arty centres split for New York.

Arguably the modern day stronghold of contemporary art production worldwide, it would seem that the Big Apple is still suffering from its 1920’s bohemian hangover. The cutting edge art movements that lay at the very core of major European art centres began to give way to an upwelling of creative trends on the other side

What’s On

13 – 25 May: Prodigal & Mouche @ Kalk Bay Theatre Tim Redpath, the protégé of the Grahamstown Drama Department, brings these two one-man shows to CT.

if people don’t like it, play harder.

That part of you that gets frustrated in your everyday life gets to come out.’ George agrees, ‘When you’re on stage you’re a different person.’ ‘We never expected it to happen,’ says Louis. ‘It’s almost like an outer-body experience. When people mention the band’s name, they might as well mention your name personally.

It’s a big honour. I’m just really happy that people recognise our music.’ Taxi Violence is set to hit the international stage after being invited to tour Germany in October. New bassist, Jason Ling says, ‘It will be interesting to see how people overseas accept the music.’ George says, ‘We’re going over to promote the band and not necessarily the album. We want to promote both our older music as well as our new songs.’ Rian laughs, ‘We’re going over to promote Gorgeous George!’

Those who have followed Taxi Violence from the beginning would know that revered bassist, Loedi van Renen, has left the band to follow a career as a music video director. However, Jason Ling is certainly not lacking any atten-

of the Atlantic. Fuelled by case upon complimentary case of free wine that accompanies exhibition openings, the above should come as no surprise.

Abstract-Expressionism, one such arty American advent of the 1940s, was a movement whose most famous exponents were soaks. Jackson Pollock and Francis Bacon are but two. As many of you may already know, excessive drinking induces blurred vision.

This said, Bacon’s whiskeyinduced bad eyesight may give us a clue as to why he couldn’t as much as paint a good old flower.

Also, after one too many, alcohol has this horrid ability to make it nearly impossible to walk straight.

Surely Pollock’s mastery when it came to dribbling paint on canvases laid on the ground can be attributed to this.

On a local, less-white American male and more South African white male note, Asshole (2004) was Cape Town’s conceptual artist Ed Young’s answer to the polemic of alcoholism. To quote his Masters of Fine Art thesis, Let Me Explain: ‘It was a show about something masquerading as nothing, but essentially a show about nothing.’

Huh? What, you may ask?

Well, that’s conceptual art for you.

The one night exhibition, held in the wake of two other successful one-nighters, was a conceptual jab

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Entertainment

in the ribs of South Africa’s gallery system and its oh-so-accepted conventions.

Perhaps it’s a stretch to call an exhibition self-titled, or even an exhibition at all (at least in the conventional sense). According to the show’s press release, however, Asshole’s conceptual/minimal underpinnings lie in Ed Young acknowledging his status as an utter asshole. Many would agree.

A variety of elements in the exhibition stressed this point, particularly the self-referential title, a red wall painting bearing the word ‘Asshole’ and the mere attendance of the artist himself.

Rather scant when it came to actual ‘art’, it was a show where cases of Heineken replaced the free Shiraz, the canapés were replaced with buckets of KFC, and topless strippers from the nearby Teazers made for pretty (and chesty) bartenders. The outright lack of bona fide art aside, a culture jamming friend of mine described the show as one helluva party, made possible thanks to the generous support of Heineken (read alcohol) – all 34 ice cold cases.

‘Alcohol, helping people to make and appreciate tasteless art since 1912.’

Should any readers be of a conceptual disposition and require assistance with an alcohol addiction, please call Alcoholics Anonymous on 021 510 2288.

15 – 24 May: The Colonel Bird @ Arena Theatre A political work that subverts conventional perceptions of madness.

16 May: Plush, Farryl Purkiss & Guests @ Assembly An evening with SA’s pop rock favourites.

17 May: Farrell Adams and the Little Sinners, DubMasta China, Godessa, Teba, Jitsvinger, DJ Ahzul & Mix ‘n Blend @ Assembly A diverse display of hip hop artists.

17 – 24 May: Attempts on her Life @ The Little Theatre The ������������������������� UCT Drama Department presents Martin Crimp’s acclaimed work.

19 – 27 May: Marc Lottering @ On Broadway Theatre The famous comedian is back by popular demand.

21 May: Football Nights @ Cubana, Claremont with Blackcherry.

Champions League Final live ���������������������������� at 8pm. Call 021 683 4040 to book tables.

22 May: Levi’s Young Guns Music Festival @ 14 Hope Street Experience Fresh local talent ������������������������������ Jitsvinger and ETC Crew at this year’s Young Guns festival.

24 May: New Loud Rockets and The Beams @ The Assembly Party with CT’s indie rock bands New Loud Rockets and The Beams, as well as DJs Hipless Couples and Orlando Doom.

29 – 31 May: CT Big Band Jazz Festival @ Baxter Concert Hall The popular festival celebrates its 10th anniversary with 18 school and college bands.

Blunt woos CT Megan Lyons JAMES Blunt wooed the masses with ‘You’re Beautiful’ and shot to superstardom with his debut album, Back to Bedlam – not too shabby for a Sandhurst graduate who served in Kosovo. His first album sold a staggering 11 million copies, shot to number one in 18 countries and reached the top ten in 35 countries. South Africans are excited to welcome this talented young musician, who has the ability to move crowds with his lyrics and music, which were originally perceived as ‘mere simplistic self expressions.’

His accomplishments include being nominated for five Grammys, landing the first number one single in the US (‘You’re Beautiful’) by a British act since Elton John’s ‘Candle in the Wind’, and winning two MTV Awards and two Brit Awards. His current album, All The Lost Souls, presents songs about life and death.

Showing remarkable growth from

his previous album, Blunt calls it a very honest, slightly naïve collection of thoughts, emotions, and experiences which he wrote ‘without any knowledge that anyone would hear them.’

Seeking some different flavours for his latest album, Blunt collaborated with Mark Batson (Dr Dre, Dave Matthews Band), Jimmy Hogarth, Steve McEwan and Max Martin and created an album inspired by great artists of the 70s such as Steely Dan and Zeppelin. Beginning with ‘1973’, the album reminisces about the nostalgic memories of friends, lovers and the good times in an upbeat, yet reflective melody. Based on the overwhelming achievements of this musician, one only has to wonder how high his next album will soar.

For now, you can share in the magic of his musical success at his performance at Grand West on 28 May. Ticket prices range from R294 to R498, so be sure to get yours soon.

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Cape Town makes sexy time

Photos by Justin Andrews

Justin Andrews embarks on a salacious sexcapade of epic proportions SEXPO: The very name of this event is enough to drive students into a frenzy of excited chatter, businessmen to alternate lunch break venues and dodgy old men to, well where dodgy old men go – the Sexpo. I, Justin Andrews, your trusty photographer, impeccable writer, and adventurer extraordinaire traveled to this mind-boggling event to bring you the story, just in case you missed it. On entering the CTICC, I was greeted by a singing security guard, enquiring whether or not I was going to the Sexpo and if I was affiliated with the media.

After getting the directions from him, I ventured into the mouth of the beast, strangely guarded by women clad in either naughty nurse, police officer or lingerie model outfits. My eyes were immediately drawn to Pricasso, aka Tim Patch, the world famous penile artist. He paints remarkably detailed portraits (well, better than I could with my hands) with his penis… enough said.

Arianna Starr, the world famous Miss Nude Australia, was performing on the main stage, pulling off moves the Moscow Circus would be in awe of. Suspended from the roof of the CTICC by only a curtain ribbon, she twirled and slid her way up and down, leaving even the most experienced jaws on the floor. The rest of the expo was a blur of sex shops and a giant mechanical rodeo penis.

One stall stood out from the rest, and attracted more attention than the Chapel of Love (where a few couples got married), and the sex workshops. That stall was occupied by the lovely ladies of Teazers. These friendly girls were more than happy to demonstrate to the amassing audience, the technical aspects of sensual dancing, as well as just to entertain the people

with a show, or even a chat every now and again. It must be said that Teazers stole the show from their counterpart Mavericks who occupied a stall on the opposite side of the centre, mostly due to the fact that Teazers girls were more fun than their Maverick counterparts.

The majority of the Teazers girls were of Eastern European descent, and came equipped with beautiful bodies and creative body art, which spiced up the shows. Most left satisfied that they had gotten their money’s worth.

When speaking to Tiara, an employee of Teazers, she cleared much of the dark shroud surrounding this establishment. She conjured a new image of a place meant for fun, in a safe, strict environment, rather than of sleazy sexual arousal in a dark dingy room. She stated that many of the girls and guys employed at Teazers are foreign. However, there is always a market for local dancers, as there are many foreign clients who come to their establishment for a truly South African experience. At the other stalls, the

masses of sex toys and paraphernalia were at times overwhelming and awe-inspiring, but educational nonetheless.

The range of people attending such an event was vast (my one mate bumped into his mom!), but all in all, I must say; what an experience! So it came to pass that I did venture to a place that many, many men and women went. My eyes were opened (wider than ever before at times), and my views were changed. I can now, with safe certainty, say that I am a changed man, all thanks to the Sexpo.

My digsmate who accompanied me will never be the same either. Sadly, Matthew Campbell sustained a muscle injury from smiling way beyond his capability when Miss Starr embraced him for a photo opportunity. We at VARSITY wish him a speedy recovery. Last, but definitely not least, I would like to give (even more credit) to Pricasso, Arianna Starr, and Tiara along with the other Teazers girls, who truly stole the show from the rest of the competition.

Rémy Ngamije THE release of Marvel Studios Iron Man officially marked the start of the US box office summer season, where the most lucrative, albeit less critically-acclaimed films are screened. Breaking away from tradition, Iron Man boasts cutting-edge computer generated graphics and a modest cast of actors to provide a genuine screen spectacle.

Robert Downey Jnr, long seen as the dark horse of Hollywood, leads the film as John Stark, a billionaire playboy weapon manufacturer who becomes a red and gold iron-clad vigilante, fighting against the very creations he helped to invent. Quirky, sarcastic and uncharacteristic of macho comic superheroes, Downey is more likened to Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow character in Pirates of the Caribbean, perhaps the most compelling reason to watch the film. Laden with catch phrases, subtle adult themes and a fastpaced storyline, Iron Man is a film that provides a welcome respite from CGI, muscle-infested films that are adapted from comics.

Gwyneth Paltrow returns to the screen after a long absence to play Downey’s love interest in the film, adequately fulfilling her role as the damsel in distress. Terrence Howard from Crash and Hustle

Photo courtesy of vargucci.files.wordpress.com

Iron man cometh

Marvel superhero - A movie which is iron-clad and Flow, is the other big name in the film, playing Downey’s sidekick.

With no doe-eyed Peter Parker or jock-styled Superman, Downey’s diamond-in-the-rough aura is the driving theme of the film. Iron Man is the first in a string of long-anticipated films includ-

ing Batman: the Dark Knight, Prince Caspian and Harrison Ford’s Indiana Jones. Iron Man is an an entertaining, well-rounded film, blending captivating action sequences, light, humorous acting, and a good warm-up to the upcoming cinematic feasts.

Plethora of Delight - Top left, Arianna Starr delights the crowds. Top, the girls of Mavericks and Teazers respectively. Bottom left, UCT’s very own Matthew Campbell gets to meet world famous Ms Starr. Bottom right, Pricasso, the world renowned penile painter, with his trademark appendage.

Volume 67 Number 7

Contraband cocktails in residence Photo courtesy of upload.wikimedia.org

Features 10 Putting all your eggs in one basket Leanne Jansen investigates the pros and cons of egg donation notices for secondhand textbooks, student digs and cheap beer, you will find a notice appealing to healthy young women between the ages of 20 and 34, to donate their eggs. Young women, just like you and me, may volunteer (whether for reward or due to personal convictions) without properly educating ourselves about the risks. Young women who might not be as fortunate as Kelly was.

Just four years ago, Carte Blanche conducted a report on the very same medical treatment centre Kelly describes, and their link to a then 22-year-old volunteer, who may now need an egg donor herself. The student, with an Honours degree in Genetics, appeared on the programme claiming that she had developed Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, a potentially life threatening condition associated with egg donation. The complete elimination of risk is not yet possible and the number of severe cases is only reduced by early diagnosis and aggressive treatment. The student further claimed that no one at all had informed her about the dangers, which she researched herself only afterwards.

A then 19-year-old undergraduate appearing on the same programme, attributed her donor status to the need for ‘quick, easy money’, as it was common then for Photo courtesy of img.dailymail.

‘No, I didn’t see an advertisement or anything. My boyfriend told me about it,’ Kelly* breezes. ‘He had all this extra money that he later told me was from donating his sperm, that was how I came to hear about egg donation.’ For a second I forget to maintain a sense of impartiality, and I’m sure my surprise is audible on the other end of the phone. There’s an awkward silence before I remember to look down at my page and ask the next question, which is simply, why become an egg donor?

She launches into explaining that as an empathetic being, with the prerogative to decide so and the capacity to do so, she couldn’t refuse a woman suffering from infertility the right to a family of her own.

Kelly was well compensated for her time and trouble, and assures me that the prominent fertility clinic where she was a patient, took great care in following procedure and took great care of her. She has only donated her eggs once out of the five times that she is allowed during her lifetime. She hasn’t, to date, suffered any adverse physical or emotional side-effects – which makes her lucky I think, as she hangs up with a ‘Goodbye love’ even though we’ve never met before.

Across tertiary campuses in the Western Cape, amongst hordes of

Slumbering foetus - One in seven couples cannot conceive

internationally-based fertility agencies to declare the amount of money that could be ‘earned’ in their advertisements. This method is no longer used, since, according to the National Health Act 61 of 2003, it is an offence for a person who has donated gametes (eggs), to be paid for that donation. But they may be reimbursed for costs incurred by providing that donation. One fertility clinic’s website stipulates this settlement amount as ranging from R3,000 to R6,000.

It goes without saying that various sectors of society are polarised as to whether egg donation poses a moral dilemma, irrespective of financial gain. Kelly does not think of the child born from her egg as hers, and the Children’s Act of 2005 understands this. It states that the woman (as the recipient of gametes) who gives birth to a child, must for all purposes be regarded as the mother of that child. On the other end of the spectrum, the decision is far more complex. ‘For some people it might be a purely mechanical thing, like here are my eggs – I have millions more. But think twice, because it’s like a legacy that you’re handing over. I’d want to rear that legacy myself. Make sure it’s shaped the way I envision,’ a postgraduate Psychology student asserts. ‘People are not as uncomfortable with the process, as they are with the age of the participants that most of the flyers on campus reach. Women a little older than the 20 years of age they’re asking for, are better suited’ she finishes.

When two bulls fight, the grass suffers, the Swahili proverb goes.

Regarding a topic as sensitive and controversial as egg donation, it certainly is true. Whenever human life is of concern, conservatives and liberals, inevitably and fervently, butt heads. And wherever there is money involved, the wellintentioned, deserving few, and the multitudes of unscrupulous opportunists, come to blow.

The grass that suffers is the one out of every seven South African couples, who have no option but to enter into parenthood with a part of you. * Name has been changed

Drinking in res - Student individuality or plain old substanceabuse?

Rémy Ngamije AFTER surviving another gruelling week of lectures, the arrival of the weekend signals the onset of another alcohol-fuelled debauchery that begins at quarter to sober and continues until half-past drunk.

The spectacles of knowledge are exchanged for the more fashionable beer-goggles, while loyal friends such as Morgan and Jack arrive fashionably late at the party.

Comfort from the South makes sure that it is that much harder to Keep Walking with Johnny, and after three puffs of Malawi’s finest, the world becomes crystal clear when viewed through the purple haze of a marijuana joint.

This scenario is all too familiar with many universities around the world and UCT is no exception; we work hard and we play harder.

The pursuit of happiness is perhaps easier when you are in a UCT residence; a social environment free from parental control and sobriety is a disease that must be hastily cured by a sip of Heineken.

With independence from restrictive authorities, a residence is a perfect place to brew contraband cocktails.

Designed as a place for accommodating students seeking a sheltered transition between the home environment and the challenging

university experience, residences provide more than just shelter.

They enable students to reside in an environment teeming with diverse cultures, where academic and social endeavour can be pursued. However, it also provides a gateway into the world of substance abuse, a feature of the residence system that many authorities are not eager to comment on.

The ease and privacy with which copious amounts of alcohol and marijuana can be appropriated in a residence is astounding. A black plastic bag hides the intoxicating contents of a bottle, while a simple phone call will place a dealer at your door in 25 minutes. Lax security and the desire to encourage student individuality mean that what students do in their rooms, is their sole responsibility.

A respectable idea, but one that could prove to be detrimental to the health and safety of students; those participating in the activities and those who are not.

Drinking binges ensure that sanitary areas are health hazards after a weekend, bottles are piled high in corners and the stink of marijuana pervades corridors, ignored not only by students, but also by house committee members, sub-wardens and wardens.

Seen as the celebration of youth, these activities are not monitored, leading to the pondering of what goes on behind closed doors.

A student, who did not wish to be named, professed that the anonymity and simplicity with which he could bring contraband into a residence played a key role in his substance abuse. ‘Nobody searches me so I am able to bring anything I want into the res’, he said.

To confirm this claim, a quick call was made to a dealer who strolled nonchalantly into the residence 20 minutes later and offered a range of drugs from ecstasy to cocaine.

Substance abuse, practised by a small majority of students, is perhaps not as widespread as one would perceive it to be. But the liberal use of contraband could be curtailed to further reduce its occurrence and protect students from its adverse effects.

With revelry being the pinnacle of the university experience, it is perhaps not too long before scientists discover blood in our alcohol stream. Until then, drunken men will continue to speak sober words. Puff, puff, pass.

Varsity

11

Features

You should be The secret life of bouncers dancing... here

All dressed up - The clubs that make it worth your while FUELLED by promises of opulent interiors, an über-sophisticated crowd and the cream of Cape Town’s deck-spinning crop, you painstakingly lay the plans to go out and show Cape Town that no jol is complete without you. With your chicken cutlet-enhanced cleavage leading the onslaught, and your white loafer-wearing, belt buckle-displaying boyfriend in tow, you arrive. Yet only to find that the lone red leather couch is peeling, the crowd have a more ‘lets get my high tops dirty’ than a ‘don’t step on my Aldos’ sort of attitude, and the DJ just followed up your favourite song with a remix of 1997’s ‘Barbie Girl’.

There is, of course, nothing wrong with an occasion where playing dress up is not one of the prerequisites. But jelly and custard can never be crème brûlée.

‘.. I’m still terribly conflicted as to which places are worth the time..’

As a cultural refugee from Johannesburg, I’m still terribly conflicted as to which places are worth the time, effort and accessories. The problem is only further exacerbated by the fact that there are so many nights on which to go out, and every club has its flagship day. Clearly, Gareth Cliff has it all wrong: Phuza Thursday seems to be an obsolete concept for UCT students. Here, the carnival starts on Tuesday So, to help you, here are a few of the tried and tested, unanimously advocated by your peers: Fashion TV Café, The Bang Bang Club, Hemisphere, and Tiger Tiger. These four actually live up to the ‘premier club experience’ tagline that any place with strobe lights and a grade ten graduate guarding the door seems to punt

these days.

Fashion TV Café is best on Wednesday nights when it attracts both chic 20-something professionals and young upstarts spending their textbook allowances. If you can get in via the front door, then you’re either a regular or just fabulous. Otherwise, it’s the underground entrance for you.

Either way, you’re bound to have a good time, choosing between mellow house music upstairs, or the bump and grind commercial beats downstairs. The setting seems like a breeding ground for a pretentious crowd, but they are as friendly as they are good looking.

The Bang Bang Club is pure opulence, evident from the red, velvet toilet chains to the in-house humidor. In adherence to the smartcasual dress code; starched collars and designer flip flops are abound.

On Friday and Saturday nights, house music devotees swarm the dance floor, while onlookers from the lounge upstairs empty the contents of numerous ice buckets.

Hemisphere, as the many Capetonians who queue outside on a Thursday night know well, affords its clientele the most splendid view from the 31st floor of the ABSA building. Their Mojitos are as potent as they are delicious, the armchairs are mercifully massive and the cosmopolitan crowd pretend not to see you and your girlfriends holding up the pillars.

Tiger Tiger enjoys cult status among UCT students. Regular, shameless post-mortems take place on Jammie stairs on Friday mornings. When asked to describe how she feels after a night out at Tiger, one student simply says, ‘broken’.

Long nights, two-for-one specials and drunken love affairs are what makes Tiger Tiger something of an institution in Claremont.

So now that you have the road map, go forth in pursuit of good times. The colour you decide to paint the town is up to you, and depends on the hue of whatever it is that you’re drinking.

Spoiling for a fight? - Most bouncers practise martial arts as a preventative measure, rather than to initiate fights shake. ‘Well, I’m Emiel,’ he says.

‘It’s good to meet you.’

Contrary to popular belief, bouncers are obliged to stay away from fighting. In the agonisingly thought-out words of one bouncer, fighting will scare away his customers, and no clubbers mean no work, which ultimately means no money. However, if a customer poses a threat to anyone’s safety, it is the bouncer’s job to deal with the situation. To this end, many of these men are skilled in judo or karate, and spend hours training at the gym. Uzor tells of a story a few years back when a door-lady got hit in the face by a male customer. ‘What did you do?’ I ask. ‘I fucked him up,’ Uzor replies.

It is the Congolese bouncers who are particularly principled and disciplined. The common industry joke is that a Congolese bouncer works the door better than any South African could. Many of them are here in South Africa with temporary work permits or

refugee status, having fled the Congo with respectable degrees in Engineering and IT. Wearing the blacks and bouncing for cash – the less than R50 per hour that they’re earning here is still more than doctors are earning back home.

Several of them also work parttime jobs, centred on a skill such as blind-making or personal training – all just to put enough food on the table.

‘Is our job really that difficult?’ asks one of the bouncers, an intellectual glisten in his eye.

Well, let’s see. They work for peanuts, are hardly awake for daylight hours (which puts strain on their personal relationships), their reputations are ruined by drunken students against whom they have no platform to defend themselves, and they have to deal with all of this whilst stranded thousands of miles away from their homes.

Not exactly the easiest of jobs, I’d say.

Who’s the loser now?

Bianca Meyjes

HE CURLS his spine over and allows his play-dough arms to stroke the beach sand. The creases on the back of his knees stretch out until they show purple. The American twang proves his frustration as his 370lbs (168kg) frame takes strain: ‘I’ve never done yoga before and I’ll probably never do it again. I just don’t bend that way.’ This is Ken, a contestant on the third season of the reality television series The Biggest Loser.

Taking television to a new width, The Biggest Loser goes against the grain of all other reality shows out there. After all, this has nothing to do with winning; this time around, being a winner is all about losing. Each week, two hot-bodied trainers push the contestants to heave their obese bodies over obstacles, squeeze out litres of sweat, and avoid every culinary temptation. The teams battle it out, lose the blubber, and vote one another off.

Naturally, the show has a high entertainment value, with 14 enormous people competing against enormous odds. eTV has added its two cents’ worth by mockingly jamming every ad break with ‘lowfat mayonnaise’, ‘Nintendo Wii Fit’ and ‘Slim-Coffee-Diet’ advertisements. But despite the cruelty of television and its snide audiences, these fatties are an unstoppable bunch. As each week unfolds, the contestants show the world that losing weight can be a reality for those determined enough to do it.

The display of tears, frustration

Photo courtesy of farm3.static.flickr.com

Photo courtesy of image.guim.co.uk

Leanne Jansen heads off into the bright lights in pursuit of good times

IT IS the usual scene: A club, a two-for-one drinks special, and a bouncer. Add the three together and there is ample opportunity for disorderly drama. The general conception seems to be that it is the bouncers who are out to ruin what might otherwise be a good ol’, wholesome, night of student binge-drinking. However, reeking of the fickleness of human nature, it seems to be the clubbers who unfairly destroy the reputation of these gentle creatures.

It begins with the über-masculine stage names: Think swords, shields and white stallions.

Hercules. Uzor. Other names are indicative of a dodgy past, as is the case with Vuilpeel James.

One dares not ask. Whatever the case may be, it remains a commandment in all clubbing bibles that knowing a bouncer by name means you are one step closer to getting in for free or, at the very least, skipping the queue.

At a popular student drinkinghole in Claremont, girls stream up to the bouncer, throw their arms around him and plant wet kisses on his cheek. It would seem that students are acutely aware of the R40 involved in this deal.

The bouncers on the other hand, see these fakes coming from a mile away. ‘They are only friends on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday,’ acknowledges Big John, ‘I hate it.’

On another night, a youngster confidently strides up to another bouncer, Emiel, and pronounces, ‘I spoke to Emiel earlier and he says that I can come in.’ Emiel smirks. ‘Do you know this Emiel guy?’ he asks.

‘Oh, yes,’ the girl says, ‘He’s really a good friend of mine. And he says I must tell the bouncers to let me in.’ Emiel offers her a hand-

Photo courtesy of urbanmonarch.com

Bianca Meyjes

Before and After - A contestant slims down to win big and grit is inspirational even to the slimmer folk out there.

Who can deny that The Biggest Loser is one of the smartest moves in recent reality television? The worldwide epidemic of over-eating is certainly not news to our society. In the United States, there have been concerns about obesity seriously affecting productivity in the workplace, which ultimately affects the American economy.

Back home, a recent study by the Medical Research Council has found that 45% of South Africans are overweight, 20% of which are clinically obese. Laugh as much as you want, but The Biggest Loser might just stop you from gobbling down that fifth chocolate bar, and instead inspire you take a trip on the treadmill.

12

Focus:

Varsity Newspaper

The role of student media Nabeelah Martin

THE role of a contemporary student newspaper in South Africa is manifold. So in a bout of introspection, we have decided to devote an entire focus page to the inner workings of VARSITY. It’s handy having a paper to shamelessly promote ourselves.

In the bad old days, VARSITY was committed to speaking out against the injustices of apartheid.

The relationship between the SRC and VARSITY was much cosier than it is today, since the SRC chose the editor back in the day.

Editors worked in conjunction with the SRC in promoting student activism. At the time though, all students were united in a common goal of resisting apartheid.

These days, VARSITY’s relationship with the SRC is much more fractious, and reflects the macro-level relationship between the media and government. The catchphrase which we media folk like to use is accountability. Due to the nature of South Africa’s democracy, which stresses representation over participation, the media plays a pivotal role in giving the public a forum to express their dissent.

Hopefully, VARSITY plays a role in motivating the SRC. Siliziwe Ncanywa, the Residences Coordinator on the SRC, said that one of his goals for the year was to achieve an ‘A’ in the SRC report card which VARSITY publishes.

VARSITY has been criticised for not being transparent as to

where we stand with regards to freedom of expression. The South African Constitution says that freedom of expression is not absolute. Freedom of expression is limited if it incites violence or can be classified as hate speech. As such, VARSITY would not publish articles which contained these infractions.

VARSITY is a forum for debate. We give students samplings of opinions and allow them to make up their own minds on the issue at hand. We publish all but the most vitriolic complaints, against ourselves and others. So if you think we insulate ourselves from criticism, you’re wrong. I will concede that we do always get the final word :)

Write what you want to read about Nicole Jonklass IF YOU’RE concerned that VARSITY is not representing a wide enough range of student views, or if you just don’t find the articles in the paper all that interesting, one of the best ways you can change this is by writing for the paper yourself.

If you’re an undergrad or postgrad UCT student (actual lecture attendance not compulsory), you can write for VARSITY. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to be a skinny jeans-wearing BA student to be a writer. Students from all faculties can get involved, regardless of whether they’re aspiring lawyers, doctors, engineers, geneticists, actuarial scientists or professional dancers. All you really need is a general sense of what students like yourself would enjoy reading, paired with some good ol’ fashioned literacy skills, and you’re good to go!

VARSITY is a development agency, so even if your writing skills aren’t great, the newspa-

per’s section editors will help you improve them. Furthermore, you can choose the section of the paper that suits your interests and style of writing best. These include News, Opinions, Sport, Business & Technology, Focus, Arts & Entertainment, Features and Humour.

There are two ways in which you can get involved in the writing-side of the paper: Firstly, you could write as an external contributor. This basically means that you write on a freelance basis, whenever you can fit it into your schedule or even if there’s just one burning issue that you’d like to get off your chest. To start writing as an external contributor, come to the next VARSITY News Gathering (first Thursday of next term), where you’ll have an opportunity to speak to section editors, tell them what you’d like to write about, or receive a topic from them on which to write.

Alternatively, you may want to apply for the position of a VARSITY staff writer. This posi-

tion is for your more ‘prolific’ writer, as you’ll be required to write at least one article for every edition of VARSITY. The application process will commence next semester, so start getting your CV ready and watch this space for more details.

If writing is not your thing, but you’d still like to get involved, fear not. You may want to become a VARSITY photographer or assist with DTP (Desktop Publishing), which involves using a computer programme to do the layout and graphics of the newspaper. If you’re passionate about ridding the world of all spelling and grammar errors, then you may want to be part of VARSITY’s team of subeditors. Other positions include working in VARSITY’s advertising, marketing, office management and web-design departments. So whether it’s by putting pen to paper, via the click of a camera or the click of the mouse, there’s a way for everyone to get involved at VARSITY Newspaper.

sion deadline. They read through articles, deciding which of these they’d like to include in their respective sections. Articles are chosen based on the quality of the writing, the relevance of the article to readers and, on a more practical note, the amount of space available on each page.

4. Subbing – Thursday evening During subbing sessions, SubEditors, accompanied by Section Editors, ‘sub’ articles i.e. make sure that they’re ‘readable’. This is done by correcting any spelling and grammar errors, and cutting out any unnecessary words and sentences. Sub-editors also make sure that articles conform to VARSITY’s typographic preferences, in terms of capitalisation, italicisation, etc.

5. DTP (Desktop Publishing) – Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays During DTP-sessions, the layout for each page is done. DTP assistants, working with Section Editors, make sure that all articles, their headlines and bylines as well as any images, graphics and advertisements fit into each page in a way that’ll be visually appealing to readers.

6. Last minute stories The News, Sport, and Focus sections often have stories that can only be covered after the Wednesday deadline. News sto-

ries can ‘break’ at any time, many sport events only happen over the weekend and the writing process often gets delayed while waiting for sources to respond to requests for information. As soon as each ‘last minute-article’ is complete, a Sub-Editor will ‘sub’ it and a DTP assistant will slot it in amongst the other articles of the newspaper.

7. To the printers! – Monday afternoon Once the layout for each page has been completed, the Editor, Deputy Editor and Section Editors will read through the articles one last time to check for any gremlins that might have crept in during DTP sessions. The newspaper is now ready to go to print and the final copy is emailed to the printers.

8. Distribution – Tuesday morning The printed newspapers are delivered to the VARSITY office.

The newspaper is now ready for distribution. The entire VARSITY collective delivers copies of the paper by hand to most buildings on Upper Campus, satellite campuses such as Hiddingh and to residences. While UCT students and staff read the newspaper, Section Editors are already thinking of ideas to present at the next newsgathering – and the cycle repeats itself.

Volume 67 Number 7

Vox pops Does VARSITY represent student views at UCT? I enjoy reading VARSITY, but I just feel that it has a very big vindictive element. So sometimes you find that the arguments that are presented there in are not too balanced. But otherwise it does actually stimulate debate in the reader’s mind about what’s actually going on on campus. And it’s quite up-to-date.

Mpho Makhanya, BSc Eng (Civil), 3rd year

I haven’t been reading often, but last week I thought it did, because I like Anton’s funny articles. And they also always talk about the ANC Youth League and the problems that we have with the electricity and the power outages. So I think it is quite representative.

It’s a fun newspaper, but it also deals with serious issues.

Lauren Scheepers, B.A. English and Media & Writing, 3rd year

I think it very much represents the critical student view. I don’t know about the run-of-the-mill apathetic student.

Gordon Inggs, BSc Eng (Computer Engineering), 3rd year

The circle of VARSITY’s life Nicole Jonklass

EVER wondered how the newspaper you’re holding in your hands came to be? What follows is a step-by-step guide to the twoweek process of creating an edition of VARSITY Newspaper.

1. Newsgatherings – Thursday in meridian Everything starts at the fortnightly newsgathering held on Thursdays during Meridian in the Leslie Social Science building (LS2C). Everyone is welcome to attend. Section editors suggest topics that they’d like staff writers or external contributors to cover and these writers sign-up for the article they’d like to write.

Writers may also pitch their own topics to section editors.

2. Putting pen to paper Writers and section editors research their stories, conduct interviews, attend relevant events, talks and debates and eventually write their articles. Photographers take the necessary photos and the Image Editor scours the web for any other images. The VARSITY Advertising Department liaise with businesses and student societies who want to place ads in the upcoming edition.

3. Submission deadline – Wednesday 5pm (Tuesday 5pm for Humour and B&T) Writers email their articles to Section Editors before the submis-

I don’t think it represents the students. Bearing in mind the main aim of the student, it doesn’t make sure that it develops them, but rather it crushes them.

Elvis Sekhaolelo, B Comm (Economics & Finance), 3rd year

I don’t really read it. But it’s quite funny sometimes. And sometimes you include students giving their comments, right? Some of my friends [were] in there, and they were talking about too many exams and tests given. That was a big problem for everyone, that the exam timetable was very bad.

So that was pretty cool that you included that.

Dunja Mrdjen, BSc MCB, 2nd year

Varsity

business

13

&technology

Record-breaker, history-maker Internet for students Karl Thomson speaks to Skyrove

Rémy Ngamije talks GTA IV carjacking the sales charts THE INTERACTIVE gaming community has been in a state of Utopia since the release of Grand Theft Auto IV (GTA IV). The much anticipated gaming title was finally put on sale in late April and broke sales records worldwide.

According to MSNBC.com, GTA IV sold 601,000 copies in the UK, estimating a reputed US$400 million in its opening week. GTA IV, described as a ‘masterpiece’ by many of the world’s premier computer game critics, has had avid gamers riveted to screens , and has left the financial world in a state of shock.

Grand Theft Auto, a gaming franchise devolved by Rockstar Games and published by TakeTwo, has long been regarded as one of the most famous gaming titles ever to be released. Amongst console legends such as Tomb Raider, the Need for Speed series and Tekken, GTA has risen above all to become a cultclassic, claiming millions of followers.

The violent game, laden with slick graphics, soundtracks featuring rock and hip hop superstars, engrossing storylines and unique gameplay, offers a different perspective into the criminal underworld, and is now officially the most acclaimed title in the world.

The release and continued rise of GTA has not only given gamers an addictive pastime, but also has had many financial implications for the rest of the gaming market.

GTA IV’s release has added to the lucrative portfolio of TakeTwo, a feature that stock market analysts are watching with interest. A takeover bid from Electronic Arts (EA Games) was rejected by Take-Two in February with claims of the asking price, US$2 billion, being too low. With money-spinning franchises, such as GTA at its helm, Take-Two postponed any offers until the

DOMInating AGAIn - The GTA series is the money-printing franchise of the decade. release of the fourth chapter in the GTA series. The record sales and critical acclaim bestowed on GTA IV has raised the stock value of Take-Two; some analysts stating that even EA Games would not be able to afford the smaller software developer.

Microsoft’s Xbox 360 and Sony’s Playstation 3 (PS3) have experienced a surge in sales, attributed to GTA IV. With the Xbox version of the game selling out instantaneously, 335,000 units in UK alone, PS3 recorded higher sales figures for its console, reviving from its poor recent performance. Many shop owners in the US and UK have testified to gamers purchasing PS3s simply to play GTA IV, finding that the Xbox version was sold out.

On its release, the Playstation

version sold 225,000 units in the UK, breaking the record held by its predecessor, GTA III: San Andreas.

The scale of GTA’s influence is extensive. Many multiplayer websites reported crashes as gamers tried to play GTA IV online. Ill-equipped to handle the influx of gamers, both old and new, gaming forums, websites and support services experienced malfunctions from being under-resourced – a feat never accomplished by any gaming title before.

Improved graphics, new ingame features, a larger, longer and intensely detailed playing scene, has rendered GTA IV an instant classic amongst gamers and retailers alike.

Spam about spam FOR most people, 3 May had nothing special about it. Apart from it being World Press Freedom Day, it also signified the 30th Anniversary of one of the things I utterly despise. No, not Royal Sechaba’s ‘Irish Stew’, but something not far from it in origin: Spam.

On 3 May 1978, Gary Thuerk, marketing manager for Digital Entertainment Corp., became the world’s first spammer. He attempted to advertise a new PC, by sending a mass message to 393 users over the ARPAnet (the forerunner to the internet as we know it today). He did not realise the impact that small action would have on the world today.

Although the term ‘spam’ was only coined several years later in 1993 by a Usenet administrator, its name comes from something of Gary Thuerk’s time, in Monty Python’s Spam Sketch, involving chanting Vikings, a waiter who offers only food with spam in it and a customer who doesn’t eat spam. The word ‘spam’ is said at least 132 times involving such menu items as ‘Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam’, each one involving more ‘spams’ than before. The link between the overkill of the word ‘spam’ in the sketch and the common email problem today is obvious, with thousands of unwanted

Photo courtesy of deskpicture.com

ben Steenhuisen

real sPAM - Just as annoying as its online counterpart emails filling most of our inboxes with offers about ‘Private massages’, the all-popular Viagra generic pills, ‘meet a woman in 3 days’-dating-agencies and ‘how to help a poor person in Central Africa’-funds.

For most students, clearing out our inboxes of spam (and Vulaspam, another thoroughly interesting and exceptionally fun type of mail I get) takes a good few minutes. I actually find this a fun part of my day, seeing how thousands of sad, yet potentially rich, spammers try to sell their wares, all the while dodging spam-filters by making innocent letter substitutions (like V!@GrA) and

long introductions. Spamming is a serious business; this is not just a bunch of stupid criminals typing in every email address they can find and pressing ‘send’.

The FBI estimated that last year US$239 million was made from spam and that four in every five emails sent was spam. That’s 100 billion spam emails a day, 15 per person in the world. In 2005, a Russian spammer even got killed for not paying his dues to the Russian mafia, earned from what they deemed, illicit activity.

With the amount of spam increasing every day, I’m just glad to have a Gmail account.

INTERNET, especially highspeed internet, is somewhat of a rare commodity for students outside of home or in Res. High prices, excruciating waiting periods and other factors still limit the availability of broadband. Then there is the problem of logistics; who in a digs pays for it? If person X downloads 2GB, and person Y downloads 1GB, do they still pay the same if they got the ADSL together? Who does it belong to?

All these kinds of questions are applicable in a digs environment where five people are sharing one connection, and problems like wiring the PCs up can arise.

So, out of the blue, I got a call from a bloke named Tino Mueller. He claimed the company he works for has solved all the above problems. Surprised as I was, I decided to meet with him to see for myself.

Tino represents a company called Skyrove, a relatively new business. It was opened by a UCT graduate, Henk Kleynhans, and the first Skyrove hotspot went live at the end of 2005. What is a hotspot, you ask? A hotspot is a wireless point where you can access the internet through the Wi-Fi interface, removing the necessity for cables and such. As most laptops and PDAs have the capability of Wi-Fi, either natively or through buying an adapter that slots in, it’s an elegant solution for many users – hence its popularity.

By combining Wi-Fi user friendliness and the desire to bring the internet to students, Skyrove has created a great service that actually works. You go to a place

where there is a Skyrove hotspot, register (which takes four minutes maximum) and buy some credits to use the internet. It takes less than 10 minutes before you can use the internet and registration is once-off. Tino told me Skyrove has done its absolute best to make the process as easy and as quick as possible. Everything is geared towards the customer. Tino made it very clear that Skyrove is different because of its philosophy, so they provide the fastest internet backbones (the fastest possible in South Africa) at their hotspots and have the cheapest permegabyte rates (32 cents/MB).

This philosophy appears to be working, as there are more than 260 Skyrove hotspot installations and it is expected that there will be 600 by July. They have also recently rolled out Wi-Fi hotspots to the Spur franchise, proving they have been doing something right.

People can get Skyrove in two ways: Either they will install everything and you pay for megabytes from them, or a person can buy the router and bandwidth and charge neighbours and digsmate per megabyte at their own rates.

This encourages entrepreneurship and it allows for anyone to get the internet with whatever budget they have. People can use R10 or R1,000 per month – it’s flexible enough to use as they please.

For more info on Skyrove and their services, please visit www. skyrove.com or email them on info@skyrove.com

UCT gaming tour nament ben Steenhuisen KOPANO and Smuts, in conjunction with several other UCT residences, are pleased to announce that a gaming tournament will be held in Kopano residence on 9 and 10 August. Participation is open to all UCT registered students, not only residence students, and there is no entrance fee. Games played will include Counter Strike 1.6, Quake 3, DotA and FIFA. Awesome prizes are up for

grabs at this tournament, so if you are interested in registering, or just want more info, please email BenSteenhuisen@gmail.com.

For registration, please include a team name [for CS and DotA], or indicate that you are still looking for a team. For those not so keen on playing and who just want to come along and watch, note there will be a variety of spectator-friendly activties and we will be selling refreshments from the Kopano bar.

The column in the corner Karl ‘Don Thomson

Corleone’

HELLO and welcome to final edition of the Column in the Corner for this semester. I trust you have enjoyed it thus far and are pleased to know I have no intentions of discontinuing it, even though it gets me into trouble.

On 5 May, and quite out of the blue, Nine Inch Nails released yet another new album. It was also the day the huge malware outbreak happened, which was terrible as I needed to download the new album, but couldn’t. So after nine hours of bitter fighting with the internet, I got the album and was absolutely blown away.

First, Trent released it for free, no hidden catches. Absolutely gratis in any format you wanted. From Mp3 to INSANE .wav encoding that amounts to 1.2GB of data for 40 minutes of music.

The actual album itself has little of the experimental nature shown in his previous release Ghosts. It’s a straight and upfront NiN release that exhibits the usual kinds of sonic torment that his previous albums had. This caused my ears to have several little orgasms

everytime I listened to the full album. It has such fantastic diversity and shows fusions of his two previous albums that had lyrics (sorry Ghosts).

So go to theslip.nin.com and download it now. Immediately.

Even if Industrial Rock isn’t your idea of a good time, just listen to it so you can appreciate the genius of Trent Reznor and his foreward thinking. He is in the process of revolutionising the music industry, so pay attention to him all you future marketers.

To all the gamers out there, please read the article above.

After speaking to Ben about it, it appears as it will be a truely awesome event. A lot of fun will be had by all, whether or not you suck or pwn. And if you don’t know what pwn means, please just read something else.

Well, until next semester, good luck with exams and all the other nonsense you will need to get done in the next two months. Make sure you read this month’s Humour section, and definitely Arts too.

Hell, read everything and soak it all in because it will be a while until you get to again.

Thanks for reading.

HUMOUR 14 The mythical Boys are stupid, white horse throw rocks at them!

Volume 67 Number 7

Anton Taylor goes in search of the legendary beast THE WORLD of magical animals is one of excitement and danger.

There is the mystical Liger (pretty much my favourite animal, bred for its skills in magic), the Tin Roof Troll, (which exists under one of the barrels, and appears in the early hours of the morning to feast off paralytic victims) as well as the Platonic Friend (although most say these don’t exist).

However, few magical animals are as shrouded in mystery, and as goddamn magical, as the White Horse. Occasionally referred to as the Unicorn, the White Horse represents that one guy or girl on campus who, for unknown reasons, you are obsessed with.

White Horses, using powerful and unknown heart-voodoo, elicit inexplicable love towards them from their victims. If you have a White Horse, you will understand what I am talking about.

You think they are beautiful.

You love them. Beauty radiates out of their joyful little eyes, and their skin smells of sweet, sweet roses, rising in the glorious morning sun. You would probably marry them if they asked you. You watch them a lot from a distance, in a creepy manner. You think about them showering. A lot. You have probably never spoken to them, but have accumulated a catalog of information on them.

Coming right with your White

Horse is like enjoying a Mika song: Impossible. Their magic is so strong that when approached, you can only puke out an omelette of incoherent words, destroying any game you might have ever had. Unlike human girls or guys, they are impervious to alcohol, money, good looks, smart clothes, humour articles, and punches to the temple. No matter what you do, they fail to ever be aware of you, and even when they are forced to acknowledge your existence, they invariably feel the same way about you that I do about people who complain about my articles – completely indifferent.

The best advice that the VARSITY resident magic-animal experts can advise, is the excessive use of alcohol and illegal drugs – this will hopefully give you enough courage to approach your White Horse, and might cure you of your frantic fear. But probably not.

At the end of the day, you probably think you’re not good enough for your White Horse. The truth is, you’re right. There’s no point in fighting magic. Accept the facts.

It stings, but that’s how it’s meant to be. Drink a lot of whiskey, swallow a lot of Myprodol, hurt those weaker than you, and read the humour page. It makes the pain a little more bearable.

the white horse - you’ll have more luck finding a unicorn

The VARSITY Humour page is a vehicle for expression. The views expressed in the Humour section are not necessarily those of the advertisers or staff of VARSITY newspaper, or the University of Cape Town.

There once was a man named Taylor Who resembled Lex the Impaler He made people bleak, ‘cause week after week He wrote smut too crude for a sailor And so, some whingers complained; They thought they’d something

to teach: That no matter the case, no matter the place They don’t support freedom of speech But whingers seldom change the world (that’s generally left to the jocks) And despite their big mission, their little petition, ended up flat on the rocks So write ‘till your little hands are sore And whine ‘till your throats are hoarse But nothing you do, my sweet little boos Will steer my smut off course!

Felicity Cockmonger SO, LIKE, the other day I was reading the newspaper, and I saw the total, like, crap which is in the humour section. I mean, spit roasting? WTF?! Like, that is soooo not funny! And then, like, I was sitting with my girls at Caprice drinking some appletinis, and they were like, ‘OMG!! Feefeeeee! You are totally way clever enough to write a, like, response to all that shit that guy writes for the newspaper.’

And I thought, like, yeah, I am!

So this is my article and, like, it’s for all my girls (and guys) who are, like, totally sick of this sexist propagatering. Like, three can play at that game!

Firstly, most guys think that girls are just, like, objects or something. WHAT-EVER!!! Like, basically, guys think that they are so important, but in essentiality, they are totally just on this planet for, like, three reasons: 1. To buy me Malibu and Coke when I’m out at a partaaay!! Hee hee!

2. To buy me prezzies (like nice undies from La Senza and jewellery which is, like, way expensive!!).

3. To give me action when I need it!! (Can I get a ‘whoop

whoop’ from my girls?!)

In reality-land, every girl knows that the only guys who will ever treat you like you deserve are, like, those guys who play music instruments like electronic guitar and who paint pictures of the ocean, and who are, like, interested in discovering your soul.

Like Will Young.

But the rest of them are so totally just there for my a-formerly-mentioned reasons, so, like, use him, then lose him! I mean, I’ll be the bread in a Zac Efron sandwich any day, but it’s just because he’s way totally dreamy hot. I was watching E-entertainment, and, like, apparently he’s actually, like, a total dick, so I wouldn’t go out with him or anything! LOL! For, like, way too long we have

been affording tolerances to these jock losers who think they run the show. It’s time for all of us to tell them how it is, using our crazy attitude and GIRL POWER!! It’s time for intelligent individual girls (i.e. Margerita Thatcher, Victoria Spice) to show the boys who rules the rooster!! Let’s, like, totally do it, girls!

So, like, in conclusivity, I would like to use an analogue: Guys are like cool convertible cars: Fun to ride every now and then, but at the end of the day, a unnecessary object which can always be replaced, often by a better model (Get it?! Hee hee!)

Like, that’s hot!

15

Sports

Nadal on top

Cricket’s new rules

THIS years’ Super 14 has seen a new set of rules known as the ELV’s (Experimental Law Variations) introduced into the fold and now it seems that cricket too, will follow in the path of rugby.

In the upcoming series against England, the Protea’s could be the first international team to try out some controversial new laws that could be introduced into the ‘Gentleman’s Game’.

In a move reminiscent of tennis players querying an umpire and the new white-card rule in rugby, the International Cricket Council (ICC) announced last Wednesday that Cricket SA and the England Cricket Board have agreed to be the first to test out new rules that will allow players to query an umpire’s decision.

The query system will allow players to request that a decision be referred to the TV official who will make use of ‘hawk-eye’ technology for LBW decisions only up until the ball hits the batsman’s pad. Thus, it will not make use of the prediction function of the technology. The umpires on the field and the TV official will discuss the incident, but ultimately, the umpire in the middle will have the final say. Run-out decisions

and stumpings will still be at the discretion of the match officials.

If believed that a better call can be made regarding an incident, only then will it be referred to the TV official.

Manager of Cricket Affairs at Cricket SA, Brian Basson, said on Wednesday that the ICC had, for a long time, hesitated to introduce a system that would give players the right to query decisions.

There will be a time limit for such queries to be made. Basson said that this system ‘would not be in the spirit of the game.’ He did not want a situation to arise in which incorrect decisions were made as a result of delayed communication.

Basson believes the system will motivate umpires to improve their standards. Whether the decision will be accepted by the cricketing public is another matter; the fact that the relevant authorities are attempting to take steps to improve the game, so long prejudiced by human error, is heartening. Whether the cricket in England is of a high standard or not, the eyes of the cricketing world will be upon the proceedings to see just how well such rule changes fare.

Massa takes Turkey Rory Holmes THE Turkish Grand Prix was set ablaze on Sunday as Ferrari driver, Felipe Massa, took top spot on the podium to do some damage to fellow Ferrari driver, Kimi Raikkonnens title aspirations. The race was won in a typical Ferrari fashion of watertight tactics as opposed to the flamboyance of other drivers. Massa was certainly given a helping hand after tie-second placed driver, Lewis Hamilton, had to make an extra third pitstop because of concern that his front right tyre could not take the punishment. Ferrari’s world champion Kimi Raikkonen finished a close third and saw his overall lead trimmed to seven points from nine. The Finn now has 35 to Massa and Hamilton’s 28.

Massa has been in good form this year on the track, as is shown by him lying second on the log thus far. He has consistently placed in the top 5 on the grid and on the podium alongside Raikonnen and Hamilton. The dominance of Ferrari this year has led many to believe that Mclaren, Ferrari’s top competition, have succeeded only in building an inferior car despite Hamilton’s seemingly sound postition.

If truth be told, Lewis Hamilton has looked distinctly average in the new Mclaren car; a shock to all his followers who believed that he would come back even more determined to win the title after the disappointment of last season.

Though lying second on the log is no small achievement, it has been a far cry to the sublime driving display put on last year and it will be tough for him to regain the 7 point margin with both Ferrari’s performing so well.

Despite the result, Hamilton, who overtook Massa for the lead after their first pitstops and led again before his final change of tyres, was still pleased with his performance, ‘I probably drove the best race I’ve ever done,’ he said. ‘It doesn’t particularly matter whether you win or not. It’s whether you drive 100 percent, it’s whether you extract the most out of the car.’

Though there is still plenty of time left in the season, Hamilton will have to be at his best in a car that is underperforming and having technical problems to overtake Raikonnen and hold off Massa. It may well be that this year Hamilton will come from the death to pip Raikonnen at the line but, it will take something very special.

won by default after Davydenko was forced to withdraw halfway through the match with an injury.

Last year marked the beginning of something new, when the two met in an exhibition tennis match held in Mallorca. The champions clashed again in Barcelona earlier this month, on a custombuilt half-clay, half-grass court.

Over 7,000 people came out to watch the exciting match, only to watch Nadal beat Federer 7-5 4-6 7-6 (12-10). Nadal was chuffed with his win, saying, ‘Both of us would like to repeat this experience because, although the match was not a real one, it allowed us to play for points without much tension and to play more relaxed.’

Despite this only being an exhibition match, it is a reflection of Nadal’s current form. Federer said, ‘He’s a hell of a claycourt player. It won’t get any easier to beat him, but I feel I’m right there.’ Federer will definitely need to up his game if he ever wants to beat Nadal at the French Open.

Federer may be World No. 1, but if the standings so far this season are anything to go by, Nadal might just be on his way to clinching the top spot.

Photo courtesy of abc.net.au/reslib

RAFAEL Nadal and Roger Federer have come head to head on a number of occasions, in what is always a nail-biting match between the tennis greats. The French Open is less than two weeks away and Wimbledon starts on 23 June.

Federer and Nadal’s recent form will be of great importance in the upcoming months. Nadal has won the French Open for the last three years, and in doing so, has denied Federer the coveted career Grand Slam title. Whereas Nadal is almost unbeatable on clay, Wimbledon is Federer’s turf. He has taken the title five consecutive times and beat Nadal in last year’s final.

After a shaky start at the beginning of the season, Nadal is back on top of his game. As of last month, he beat Federer to win the Monte Carlo Masters for the fourth time successively. As of two weeks ago, he thrashed World No. 5, David Ferrer, 6-1 4-6 6-1 at the Barcelona Open, winning the title for the fourth consecutive time. So far, this year has proved to be a disappointment for Federer. He has only won one title thus far this season; the Estoril Open in Portugal. There was no glorious Federer finish either. He

Nadal - Looking to carry his form onto Wimbledon

Indian Premier League - the verdict Photo courtesy oflonghop.net

Picture courtesy of http://farm1.static.flickr.com

With the biggest grass tournament of the year coming up, Lindi Brownell looks ahead at the stars who need to perform

graeme smith appealing - South Africa and England will test out the new rules in the upcoming series Rory Holmes

Volume 67 Number 7

Rory Holmes WITH a lot of controversy, the first ball of the new Indian Premier League (IPL) was bowled on 18 April this year. The anger from various national cricket councils and the ICC itself at the ‘rogue’ league and the attempted blackballing of it was not enough to keep the worlds top cricketers away from the cash rich IPL. While it is already halfway through the competition I can only think that this is a good thing.

With SuperSport’s great coverage of the league, it has been possible to see some of the best players in world cricket take to the field side by side in veritable dream teams rich with stars. To see the likes of Saurav Ganguly, Chaminda Vaas and Adam Gilchrist playing in the same team has been truly inspiring to watch, as these stars take on similarly talented players in similarly strong teams.

The names of the teams are somewhat unconventional for cricket and the game itself being played in India at the moment can certainly be described in the same fashion. Bats are being swung with abandon and huge totals reached in a mere 20 overs. Already the competition is proving a firm favourite with the locals despite its ‘rogue’ status in international cricket. It is clear that the increased pay for the cricketers has provided sufficient incentive for them to up their game to a new level.

Whilst many questions have been asked about the commercialism of the tournament disrespecting centuries of cricketing decision, it is only the most conservative of cricket fans who cannot see the silver lining that is all too apparent. Though the competition is played in the 20/20 format, the

Andrew symonds - One of the many IPL stars quality of cricket on offer has been superb. This is thanks to the financial clout that has brought so many fine cricketers to India.

Indeed, with the competition making headlines in cricketing nations all around the world, it has also allowed fans to see the greats of cricket playing in a highly competitive league thousands of kilometers away from the comfort of their home.

With such riveting cricket on display I only wish that it was a South African entrepreneur that dreamed up the concept and put it into place as then the action would be a mere stones throw away. If any of the cricketing public have not yet managed to watch some of the IPL, I can only encourage them to do so. It would be a shame to miss the competition that will change the game forever.

in fairy tale circumstance as, this time it was Ikeys who scored in the dying minute and got a chance to win the game. With seconds remaining on the clock the score was 18-24 to Maties, as flying winger Matthew Turner managed to sneak over in the corner putting the score at 23-24 with the conversion still to come. Ikeys flyhalf, Matt Roslee had left the field leaving Turner the responsibility of converting his last gasp try.

Unfortunately he pushed it wide in terrible kicking conditions leaving all on the field, and off, with a taste of bitterness at the weather and the single point loss.

UCT will play a return away fixture against Maties later this year and they will be keen to get their long overdue revenge over Stellenbosch when next they meet.

One thing is for certain, that both sides will certainly be hoping for the weather gods to be kinder next time around and allow them to play their natural running rugby.

ON FRIDAY, the UCT Ikey Tigers lost to Maties in a similarly gut-wrenching circumstances as happened in the Varsity Cup final earlier this year. Though the match was not labeled an official Intervarsity, there was no doubt in any student’s minds that it was being treated as such by the majority of the student population and the team would be going all out to win.

The match was played in terrible conditions on ‘The Green Mile’ with howling winds and rains being the order of the day.

Unfortunately, UCT started off shakily after conceding 2 soft tries early on. This always makes it harders getting back into the game and though the team stepped up well to the task and clawed their way back into the match, they were always fighting off the back foot.

To every student watching it seemed that the match may end

Heartbreak - The scoreboard says it all

Photo courtesy of http://www.el-mundo.es/mundial

Premier League season review Will Clerke

AS another intriguing European season draws to a close, two teams, Manchester United and Chelsea, have once again emerged as the heavyweights of the Premier League and of Europe.

Interestingly, the two teams have very little in common, except for the fact that they both have the most amount of money to spend, and hence the most complete squads. In fact, during their most recent league wins, it was recorded that United’s team – at home to West Ham – cost a mere £163 million (£15 million a player), whilst Chelsea – away to Newcastle – weighed in at a staggeringly low £138 million (£13 million a player). With the two teams poised to make another handful of expensive summer signings (Chelsea have made an offer reportedly of about £50 for Read Madrid’s Sergio Ramos ), it seems unlikely that the likes of Arsenal or Liverpool will be compete again any time soon, as they just don’t have the financial clout.

Stylistically, the teams couldn’t be more different. Chelsea have no equals at grinding out wins.

Defensive solidity, accompanied by a midfield anchorman and a surfeit of enforcers, makes for a fearsome combination. That is not fulsome praise, and Chelsea rarely invite it. The superlatives may be reserved for sides that are more free-flowing, but they have no equals for effectiveness. United, conversely, is one of these freeflowing and attacking sides. In such a talented team, the manager has allowed the likes of Ronaldo, Rooney, Nani, Giggs and Scholes to play with complete freedom,

Ronaldo - Guiding Manchester United to glory to absolutely devastating results.

Following their 2-0 win over Wigan this weekend, Manchester United have finally been crowned champions of England (a second successive title and a tenth in 16 years). They have been proven worthy champions after one of the closest seasons ever witnessed.

However, when the two teams lock horns once again in Moscow, on 21 May in the Champions League Final, the result is impossible to predict. When it comes down to a once-off final, the form book goes straight out the window.

Having an all-English Champions League final is a testament to how strong the Premier League is. The Premier League the most powerful league in the world – it might not be the best, it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, it might not have the flamboyance of La

Liga, but it does have an intensity that no other league possesses.

A very cautious and cagey affair can be predicted, and it would be surprising if it didn’t go down to a penalty shootout. One might make a prediction for a Chelsea victory on penalties.

Going back to the Premiership, although it has been predominantly a two-horse race (although Arsenal fans would beg to differ), it has been yet another very dramatic and entertaining season, culminating in Sunday’s drama.

At this time of year, everyone is very eager to put forward their team and the best moments of the season. It is sometimes unfair because there are always more than eleven outstanding performers in a season. However, under duress, I think my team would be made up of the players mentioned

Team of the season David James (Portsmouth) Lescott (Everton)

Vidic (Man U)

Ronaldo (Man U)

Fabregas (Arsenal)

Torres (Liverpool)

Photo courtesy of cache.daylife.com/imageserve/

Rory Holmes

SA Super 14 shortfall

Photos by Kago Sechele

Hell at home

Ferdinand (Man U)

Clichy (Arsenal)

Gerrard (Liverpool)

Young (Aston Villa)

Adebayor (Arsenal) Manager: Martin O’ Neil (Aston Villa)

Natal Sharks - One of the few on-form South African teams Will Clerke WITH the Springboks having dramatically and memorably won the 2007 Rugby World Cup, many expected another highly-successful Super 14 campaign for the South African teams. However, this season has fallen well short of the highs that last year brought – namely that dramatic Brian Habana injury time try that broke the Shark’s heart and won the Super 14 for the Bulls. It was the first South African title in the history of the competition.

Of course, life always goes on, and as much as we would like to, we cannot bask in last year’s glory forever. It seems unlikely that a South African team will be able to lift that coveted trophy for two years running. Throughout the season, the Crusaders have been at their irrepressible best, and although play-off games can be unpredictable, it is difficult to look past them as eventual winners of the competition. The team, comprising almost entirely of All Blacks, boasts impressive quality in every position, and have barely missed the presence of the world’s best player, Daniel Carter, who has been injured for much of the season.

From a South African perspective, the Lions and Cheetahs have been, not unexpectedly, abysmal and as always, occupy the last two positions on the Super 14 log. The biggest disappointment has without a doubt been that of the defending champions, the Bulls, a tag which seems almost laughable this season. New coach, Frans Ludeke, has managed to successfully destroy much of what departing coach Heyneke Meyer had developed. The Bulls have been hopeless in adapting to the new rule changes, whilst the form of the teams supposed ‘stars,’ such as Bakkies Botha, Pedrie Wannenberg, Wikus Van Heerden and Derik Hougaard has been very disappointing at best.

On a brighter note, the Stormers, and to a lesser extent, the Sharks, have had successful seasons. The arrival of new Stormers coach, Rassie Erasmus,

has been a revolution, and he has brought a new, all-game approach to the team. The team now boasts a backline who can open up even the tightest of defences, whilst the once obvious weakness of the team, namely the tight five, has improved substantially.

The Sharks meanwhile, have a team consisting almost solely of Springbok players. They got off to a great start, but have lost their last three matches, and are now only an outside bet to make the semi-finals. World cup stars such as Frans Steyn and JP Pietersen have had average seasons, whilst Ruan Pienaar has been downright poor. Perhaps there is a future Springbok scrumhalf in Rory Kockott, and those who have noted the continued development of Ryan Kankowski, say that the eighth man will be a world class player.

Very soon after the final of the competition, the Springboks will compete in a test series against newly-crowned Six Nations Champions, Wales. Whilst previously, most Springbok teams would have walked all over a generally weak Welsh outfit, this series could be very different. First, Wales, with new coach Warren Gatland, are now an extremely strong outfit, consisting of exciting backs and a strong forward pack. Unlike many touring teams of the past, the Welsh team arriving next month in South Africa is their strongest. For the Springboks, the players will have to adapt once again to the ‘old’ rules used at the World Cup, and not the ELV’s used in the Super 14. With so many of our supposed elite players struggling to adapt the other way, one must wonder how easy they will find it to readjust. Of course, what will be most interesting are the team selections of new coach, Pieter De Villiers. Will he opt for the continuity of the World Cup winning team, or perhaps pick players based on their Super 14 form? In addition, will De Villiers pick oversees-based players, and will a new quota system be implemented? All these questions are yet to be answered.