Edition 9: 2008

Green Week report page 3

Sport: a global unifier page 11

Sure fire weight-loss techniques page 14

SRC member in assault fracas

Protest causes gridlock

Photo by Nabeelah Martin

12 August 2008 · Volume 67, Number 9 · 021 650 3543 · varsitynewspaper@gmail.com

Philippa Levenberg Zerene Haddad

and

A MEMBER of the SRC allegedly assaulted his girlfriend on 27 July at her UCT residence. According to a reliable source within the SRC, and VARSITY’s own investigations, at least seven other SRC members failed to formally alert the SRC. The SRC member claimed that the alleged offender approached them following the incident and said, ‘I beat her up and she wants to take me to the police.’

Furthermore, another SRC member stated that an informal agreement had been reached between certain members of the SRC to not address the issue until it was exposed by VARSITY. A third member conceded, ‘I knew about it, but I did not want to involve myself in it.’ The SRC President, Thulani Madinginye, alluded to the fact that this was a personal issue amongst individuals who enjoy friendships with each other. Their status as SRC members does not make them obliged to take action through formal channels. The remaining four SRC members who are believed to be aware of the incident either denied that they possessed this knowledge or refused to comment.

None of them queried the nature of the allegations presented.

Currently, there is no pending investigation, as his girlfriend elected to withdraw the informal charges she initially leveled against him through Campus Protection Services (CPS). The matter has since been handed over to the Warden of the residence. Nevertheless, she has been encouraged to approach UCT’s Discrimination and Harassment Office (DISCHO) for further assistance. UCT’s Crime Investigations Unit and Risk Services explain that unless the victim of a crime presses charges, the matter is directed through UCT’s internal disciplinary channels. According to the residence, the two have reconciled and thus the residence cannot take further action.

However, it has been confirmed by four sources – including three SRC members – that between the time of the alleged assault and her decision not to press charges, ‘Friends of [the alleged offender] and SRC members came to speak to her about the incident.’ A SRC member defended herself: ‘I didn’t go to speak to her to intimidate her. I was trying to help. I wanted to set up a meeting between her, myself and [alleged offender] to discuss the matter. She told me

that she was scared it would come back to her if she broke up with him.’

The alleged offender rebuked this intervention, claiming, ‘All SRC are my friends, if they went to see her [his girlfriend] it was in their own capacity. She refused to inform me who went to see her.’

The incident occurred between midnight and 1 am. According to CPS, they received a call at 00:13 from an unidentified male who requested that a student be taken to hospital due to a suspected drug overdose. Before divulging his details, he hung up the phone. CPS arrived at the residence, but there was no sign of anyone in need of their assistance. The sub-warden on duty neither had knowledge of the supposed occurrence, nor had they called CPS. CPS then left the residence.

Shortly afterwards, a second call regarding an assault was logged from the same residence to CPS by the sub-warden. The subwarden told VARSITY that around 1 am the girlfriend ‘knocked on her door, crying, saying that she had been assaulted by her boyfriend earlier, that he was back and she was scared that he would do it again.’ The sub-warden said she did not bear any physical signs of abuse because – as alleged by the girlfriend – ‘he had hit her in the stomach, pushed her around, and was careful to hide any evidence of it.’

Subsequent to this, the subwarden called CPS, and then went to speak to the alleged offender.

He denied that anything had happened and was instead concerned that she had overdosed on drugs.

However, the sub-warden did not see any empty pill containers. The girlfriend gave her statement to CPS when they arrived, which the sub-warden confirmed specified assault. The statement is being withheld from VARSITY for the protection of the alleged victim and because she is not taking the matter further.

The sub-warden claimed that while the statement was being written, the alleged offender badgered his girlfriend with verbal abuse, but she proceeded regardless of his comments. He was also heckling the sub-warden. He told her that the sub-warden ‘had betrayed him by letting this go on record.’

The alleged offender claimed that the allegations stipulated in his girlfriend’s statement were made vengefully, as she was under the impression he was cheating on her.

Continued on page 2

Photo by Justin Andrews

SRC member allegedly beat his girlfriend, and members of the SRC who knew said nothing

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy

FEd UP with UCT STalllingStudents protesting about UCT’s failure to deliver on a proper shelter at the Jammie North Stop held up traffic on Monday morning. Many students who were delayed were irate and a formal complaint was made

by Jennifer Cunningham who commented that, ‘it’s one thing to protest in an informed manner...but the SRC didn’t notify us properly. They’re responsible to me as a student, they’re my SRC too.’ The shuttle stop was supposed to have been fixed over the winter vac. John Critien of Properties and Services spoke to the students saying UCT would ‘do our best’ to meet student demands.

2

news

Volume 67 Number 9

Special Assignment speaks to VARSITY Hazel Friedman, the producer of the SABC 3 Special Assignment episodes which investigated Graham Fitch, grants VARSITY an exclusive interview.

Postgraduate exhibition Bianca Meyjes

THE postgraduate students in Entrepreneurship Management saw their efforts come together at an exhibition in Leslie Social Science building last Wednesday.

The students have spent the past eight months coming to grips with the realities of the business-world in a hands-on diploma designed by course convenor, Stuart Hendry.

Hendry has spent the past nine years fine-tweaking the course that has seen graduates snapped up year after year by corporates from top companies. At the start of the course, students were placed into groups of five to seven members. Each group had to represent the demographics of the 80-strong class, which is around 60 per cent female, 30 per cent black and ten per cent foreign. With the guidance of a board of directors, the groups had to conceptualise, design and sell a product. Wednesday was the culmination of the experience, with the budding entrepreneurs exhibiting and selling their prod-

Enterprising - postgrads get a taste of things to come ucts to fellow students. with it, it folds up into a matchLaundro Mate, the group that box-size pouch. Group member made the most profit from their ini- Matthew Browne noted, ‘We’ve tial R20 in Cake Sale week, exhib- all been pushed to the limits of our ited their product with fervor. The abilities as individuals [but] it’s laundry bag is cleverly designed so that we get a real taste of what to separate ‘darks from lights’. business is like in the real world.’

It also has pouches for washing The exhibition was a mixpowder and softener, along with a ture of both nervous excitement neat draw-string mechanism. The and business savvy. Throughout group hopes to market and sell the day, the students were being their Laundro Mate to campus marked on their professionalism residences in the near future. and presentation after which a Another group, Silver Lining, ‘small’ celebration was had at the designed a shower bag that can be UCT Rugby Club. And although used at gym. It has a compartment the diploma is now drawing to an for shampoos and one for locker- end, the real work has only just keys. When the user is finished begun.

SRC: ‘building democracy’ Tatenda Goredema

THE SRC elections are just around the corner and the campaigning season is about to start. The process of electing a new SRC is an arduous one, punctuated by interrogations in the form of question-and-answer sessions held in various locations across campus.

The elections are watched over and managed by the SRC Elections Committee, which is headed by Jerome September, the Chief Electoral Officer and Chairperson of the Committee. The Committee is independent of the SRC. September stated that in the past, SRC election themes have been inspired by TV shows and movies but in 2008, the SRC Elections Committee has bro-

ken this ‘tradition’ by adopting ‘Building Democracy’ as the SRC Elections theme. This theme was chosen to promote the ideal of promoting democracy on campus and more widely in South Africa.

The candidates running for the SRC this year total 28, DASO are pitching 8 candidates, SASCO and ANCYL running under one banner are pitching 11 candidates whilst 9 independents are running.

Each candidate is given posters and flyers to promote themselves to the student body; and the SRC Elections Committee publishes a candidate Manifesto Booklet, which is distributed across the university’s campuses to help the student body make an informed decision when voting.

September stated that ‘the SRC

Elections Committee would like to encourage all students to actively participate in this democracy building exercise. SRC is mandated by the Higher Education Act (1997) to represent the interests of students, as it is in every student’s interest to ensure that those who best represent student views and interests are elected.’

The importance of the elections cannot be stressed enough.

Irresponsible and uninformed voting could result in an ineffective SRC. Should anybody wish to obtain more information about the SRC Elections or lodge objections and/or complaints, they are encouraged to contact, Jerome September at the Department of Student Affairs.

Fitch didn’t know it was Special Assignment that was investigating him, yet he left the country before the first episode was aired.

Was the only contact you had with him the day that you approached him at the Baxter?

HF: I set up an interview under the pretext of wanting to publicise his musical prowess. I did not relish the deception, but believed this was the only way I could confront him with the allegations and provide him with the right to reply.

Linda Ambor was with me and we both approached the subject - I believe - with considerable sensitivity. However Prof Fitch told us he was feeling very uncomfortable with our questions and hastily departed before I had a chance to disclose the fact that I was from Special Assignment and that he would be the focus of an exposé.

He literally fled off campus, as our footage reveals.

V: Do you feel UCT as a whole (staff and students) raised enough awareness regarding this case (especially in terms of the victims)?

HF: I don’t believe it was incumbent upon either UCT authorities and/or students to do this. As your SRC president emphasised, the alleged perpetrator has the right to be presumed innocent until found guilty by a court of law. We took the decision to expose him for the above-mentioned reasons but did not expect UCT to campaign for greater awareness around this

specific case. However, Professor Fitch is one of countless alleged sexual predators targeting children. Perhaps he is not the only paedophile on campus. I therefore think it would be beneficial for UCT students to be galvanized into greater awareness of the dangers these men pose to children. We do not want to encourage a culture of paranoia, nor inadvertently set a disturbing precedent in terms of vigilante journalism. But one of the reasons this particular offender has not yet been charged, despite a two-year investigation, including independent statements and compelling evidence, is that adults would rather believe in the veneer of an esteemed professor than the truthful evidence of marginalised street children. Furthermore, we tend to believe, mistakenly, that sexual predators are recognisable in terms of an identifiable ‘bogeyman stereotype’. We are uncomfortable with the reality that most sexual predators live among us, are often respected members of the community, will not give up their addiction of hurting vulnerable others without a fight and, perhaps most terrifyingly, the fact that for every one paedophile exposed, there are thousands still committing sexual crimes with impunity.

We inadvertently become complicit in their crimes because we choose to block our ears and avert our eyes.

Atlas and UCT deal short-changes students MATTHEW VAN TEIJLINGEN THE UNIVERSITY has recently signed an extended lease agreement with Atlas Books, terminating in 2012, which gives the bookshop exclusive rights to operate as the only campus bookstore at UCT. The lease specifies that Atlas is required to make second-hand books available to the students.

Considering that most student loans allow for roughly R1,000 to R1,200 per semester for books, buying new books is impractical and far too expensive. At the moment, ‘third party’ entrepreneurial book stalls, such as Pimp My Books, are helping to provide more affordable options for cashstrapped students.

The newly signed contract, however, renders second-hand book sales on campus illegal by any party other than Atlas.

SASCO-UCT’s chairperson, Tende Makofane told VARSITY, ‘Through the SRC we have managed to prevent the dismissal of other bookshop businesses on campus; based on the argument that Atlas books has not been ful-

filling its requirements according to the contract, of supplying affordable second hand books for students.’

The secretary general of the SRC, Thando Vilakazi, said that ‘Since the first meeting with the UCT stakeholders, nothing much has changed’, and that ‘third party’ book stalls are ‘still operational and in the short term will remain so.’ There have also been allegations, by a source who declines to be named, that certain Atlas staff are stockpiling second-hand books and not re-selling them. These allegations cannot be validated at present.

While a temporary victory for the SRC, it remains to be seen whether Atlas and the University are committed to providing students with affordable second-hand books on campus. Although it can be expected that Pimp My Books and their counterparts will cease to exist as soon as Atlas starts selling second-hand books, it was a positive move by students to fulfil the needs of their fellow students with regards to more affordable books.

Photo by Zerene Haddad

exposé.

V: What was UCT’s reaction?

HF: UCT’s response is selfexplanatory and totally understandable, given the professor’s public profile and the constraints imposed on the university. Once the matter was in the public domain, however - courtesy of Special Assignment - UCT was no longer bound by these constraints and acted speedily and - I believe - appropriately.

V: Did music college students (or any other students) make themselves available for comment?

HF: Not at all. There was definitely a warning issued to College of Music staff and students NOT to engage with media. This is understandable but disappointing, given the fact that the only people willing to speak out on record were his alleged victims - children already marginalised and shortchanged by society. Fortunately, several intrepid members of UCT campus volunteered information which further corroborated our allegations and vindicated our decision to name and shame him.

We have subsequently uncovered further evidence of the professor’s drug addiction and alleged sexual predilection for underage, male street children - many of whom were younger than 13 when the alleged sexual assaults occurred.

V: In the ‘Finale for a Paedophile’ it was mentioned that

INTERCAMPUS

VARSITY: How were you involved in the Fitch case?

HAZEL FRIEDMAN: I first got involved in 2006 while I was investigating the case of another alleged paedophile. My principal source was Linda Ambor, a children’s rights activist who used to run an NGO called One Love, for CT street kids. Through her, I met several of Fitch’s alleged victims.

Initially, they were not forthcoming with information. It was only after I had established a relationship of trust with them, through Linda, children’s rights activist Ryan ‘Brown’ Dalton and Desiree Ernstzen, that they began to open up about the sexual violence allegedly perpetrated by Fitch.

Independently they each described his car, accent and details of his house. In addition, several of the alleged victims and accomplices took us to his house.

V: What led to the investigation of Fitch?

HF: Fitch was first investigated after an employee of a CBD Security Company spotted him repeatedly picking up kids. The employee took down his number plate and traced it back to UCT. I have been in touch with the employee who says he was aware of Fitch’s predilection for street kids more than three years ago.

The Scorpions began investigating him in May/June 2006. Since then,

I have been in contact with two of the three (or more) investigators. I kept them informed of my desire to expose him, but for two years I held back because I had faith in the criminal justice system. I finally decided to name and shame him when I saw the increasing psychological damage he had inflicted on his alleged victims and their growing disillusionment with the pace of the investigation. There was also allegedly escalating violence inflicted on the children, on the part of Fitch. This might have been due to a severe drug and alcohol problem. I decided that in order to protect past, present and future victims (he is allegedly a serial offender) I needed to take a stand. It was not an easy decision, but one by which I stand 100%.

V: When did Special Assignment contact UCT with regards to the Fitch case?

HF: I contacted UCT several months before I eventually exposed him. But I was informed that the situation was very sensitive because none of the alleged offences had occurred on campus and because the police were not providing UCT with statements by the alleged victims, the University’s hands were tied. The police had also allegedly told the university to lay off because an ‘arrest was imminent’. This was almost a year ago. I accepted this explanation but nevertheless decided to proceed with the

Photo by Bianca Meyjes

Zerene Haddad

kissing in the rain - the Stellies SRC had a successful Kissathon on 1 August. Undeterred by the rain, students turned out in droves to take part in the epic kissing spree. The rain stopped just in time for the actual event at 3pm. The Kissathon was one of the events hosted

by Stellies to promote student life during Matie Week which ran prior to the University’s open day.

2

news

Volume 67 Number 9

Special Assignment speaks to VARSITY Hazel Friedman, the producer of the SABC 3 Special Assignment episodes which investigated Graham Fitch, grants VARSITY an exclusive interview.

VARSITY: How were you involved in the Fitch case?

HAZEL FRIEDMAN: I first got involved in 2006 while I was investigating the case of another alleged paedophile. My principal source was Linda Ambor, a children’s rights activist who used to run an NGO called One Love, for CT street kids. Through her, I met several of Fitch’s alleged victims.

Initially, they were not forthcoming with information. It was only after I had established a relationship of trust with them, through Linda, children’s rights activist Ryan ‘Brown’ Dalton and Desiree Ernstzen, that they began to open up about the sexual violence allegedly perpetrated by Fitch.

Independently they each described his car, accent and details of his house. In addition, several of the alleged victims and accomplices took us to his house.

V: What led to the investigation of Fitch?

HF: Fitch was first investigated after an employee of a CBD Security Company spotted him repeatedly picking up kids. The employee took down his number plate and traced it back to UCT. I have been in touch with the employee who says he was aware of Fitch’s predilection for street kids more than three years ago.

The Scorpions began investigating him in May/June 2006. Since then,

I have been in contact with two of the three (or more) investigators. I kept them informed of my desire to expose him, but for two years I held back because I had faith in the criminal justice system. I finally decided to name and shame him when I saw the increasing psychological damage he had inflicted on his alleged victims and their growing disillusionment with the pace of the investigation. There was also allegedly escalating violence inflicted on the children, on the part of Fitch. This might have been due to a severe drug and alcohol problem. I decided that in order to protect past, present and future victims (he is allegedly a serial offender) I needed to take a stand. It was not an easy decision, but one by which I stand 100%.

V: When did Special Assignment contact UCT with regards to the Fitch case?

HF: I contacted UCT several months before I eventually exposed him. But I was informed that the situation was very sensitive because none of the alleged offences had occurred on campus and because the police were not providing UCT with statements by the alleged victims, the University’s hands were tied. The police had also allegedly told the university to lay off because an ‘arrest was imminent’. This was almost a year ago. I accepted this explanation but nevertheless decided to proceed with the

exposé.

V: What was UCT’s reaction?

HF: UCT’s response is selfexplanatory and totally understandable, given the professor’s public profile and the constraints imposed on the university. Once the matter was in the public domain, however - courtesy of Special Assignment - UCT was no longer bound by these constraints and acted speedily and - I believe - appropriately.

V: Did music college students (or any other students) make themselves available for comment?

HF: Not at all. There was definitely a warning issued to College of Music staff and students NOT to engage with media. This is understandable but disappointing, given the fact that the only people willing to speak out on record were his alleged victims - children already marginalised and shortchanged by society. Fortunately, several intrepid members of UCT campus volunteered information which further corroborated our allegations and vindicated our decision to name and shame him.

We have subsequently uncovered further evidence of the professor’s drug addiction and alleged sexual predilection for underage, male street children - many of whom were younger than 13 when the alleged sexual assaults occurred.

V: In the ‘Finale for a Paedophile’ it was mentioned that

Postgraduate exhibition Bianca Meyjes

THE postgraduate students in Entrepreneurship Management saw their efforts come together at an exhibition in Leslie Social Science building last Wednesday.

The students have spent the past eight months coming to grips with the realities of the business-world in a hands-on diploma designed by course convenor, Stuart Hendry.

Hendry has spent the past nine years fine-tweaking the course that has seen graduates snapped up year after year by corporates from top companies. At the start of the course, students were placed into groups of five to seven members. Each group had to represent the demographics of the 80-strong class, which is around 60 per cent female, 30 per cent black and ten per cent foreign. With the guidance of a board of directors, the groups had to conceptualise, design and sell a product. Wednesday was the culmination of the experience, with the budding entrepreneurs exhibiting and selling their prod-

Enterprising - postgrads get a taste of things to come ucts to fellow students. with it, it folds up into a matchLaundro Mate, the group that box-size pouch. Group member made the most profit from their ini- Matthew Browne noted, ‘We’ve tial R20 in Cake Sale week, exhib- all been pushed to the limits of our ited their product with fervor. The abilities as individuals [but] it’s laundry bag is cleverly designed so that we get a real taste of what to separate ‘darks from lights’. business is like in the real world.’

It also has pouches for washing The exhibition was a mixpowder and softener, along with a ture of both nervous excitement neat draw-string mechanism. The and business savvy. Throughout group hopes to market and sell the day, the students were being their Laundro Mate to campus marked on their professionalism residences in the near future. and presentation after which a Another group, Silver Lining, ‘small’ celebration was had at the designed a shower bag that can be UCT Rugby Club. And although used at gym. It has a compartment the diploma is now drawing to an for shampoos and one for locker- end, the real work has only just keys. When the user is finished begun.

SRC: ‘Building Democracy’ Tatenda Goredema

THE SRC elections are just around the corner and the campaigning season is about to start. The process of electing a new SRC is an arduous one, punctuated by interrogations in the form of question-and-answer sessions held in various locations across campus.

The elections are watched over and managed by the SRC Elections Committee, which is headed by Jerome September, the Chief Electoral Officer and Chairperson of the Committee. The Committee is independent of the SRC. September stated that in the past, SRC election themes have been inspired by TV shows and movies but in 2008, the SRC Elections Committee has bro-

Photo by Bianca Meyjes

Zerene Haddad

ken this ‘tradition’ by adopting ‘Building Democracy’ as the SRC Elections theme. This theme was chosen to promote the ideal of promoting democracy on campus and more widely in South Africa.

The candidates running for the SRC this year total 28, DASO are pitching 8 candidates, SASCO and ANCYL running under one banner are pitching 11 candidates whilst 9 independents are running.

Each candidate is given posters and flyers to promote themselves to the student body; and the SRC Elections Committee publishes a candidate Manifesto Booklet, which is distributed across the university’s campuses to help the student body make an informed decision when voting.

September stated that ‘the SRC

Elections Committee would like to encourage all students to actively participate in this democracy building exercise. SRC is mandated by the Higher Education Act (1997) to represent the interests of students, as it is in every student’s interest to ensure that those who best represent student views and interests are elected.’

The importance of the elections cannot be stressed enough.

Irresponsible and uninformed voting could result in an ineffective SRC. Should anybody wish to obtain more information about the SRC Elections or lodge objections and/or complaints, they are encouraged to contact, Jerome September at the Department of Student Affairs.

Fitch didn’t know it was Special Assignment that was investigating him, yet he left the country before the first episode was aired.

Was the only contact you had with him the day that you approached him at the Baxter?

HF: I set up an interview under the pretext of wanting to publicise his musical prowess. I did not relish the deception, but believed this was the only way I could confront him with the allegations and provide him with the right to reply.

Linda Ambor was with me and we both approached the subject - I believe - with considerable sensitivity. However Prof Fitch told us he was feeling very uncomfortable with our questions and hastily departed before I had a chance to disclose the fact that I was from Special Assignment and that he would be the focus of an exposé.

He literally fled off campus, as our footage reveals.

V: Do you feel UCT as a whole (staff and students) raised enough awareness regarding this case (especially in terms of the victims)?

HF: I don’t believe it was incumbent upon either UCT authorities and/or students to do this. As your SRC president emphasised, the alleged perpetrator has the right to be presumed innocent until found guilty by a court of law. We took the decision to expose him for the above-mentioned reasons but did not expect UCT to campaign for greater awareness around this

specific case. However, Professor Fitch is one of countless alleged sexual predators targeting children. Perhaps he is not the only paedophile on campus. I therefore think it would be beneficial for UCT students to be galvanized into greater awareness of the dangers these men pose to children. We do not want to encourage a culture of paranoia, nor inadvertently set a disturbing precedent in terms of vigilante journalism. But one of the reasons this particular offender has not yet been charged, despite a two-year investigation, including independent statements and compelling evidence, is that adults would rather believe in the veneer of an esteemed professor than the truthful evidence of marginalised street children. Furthermore, we tend to believe, mistakenly, that sexual predators are recognisable in terms of an identifiable ‘bogeyman stereotype’. We are uncomfortable with the reality that most sexual predators live among us, are often respected members of the community, will not give up their addiction of hurting vulnerable others without a fight and, perhaps most terrifyingly, the fact that for every one paedophile exposed, there are thousands still committing sexual crimes with impunity.

We inadvertently become complicit in their crimes because we choose to block our ears and avert our eyes.

Atlas and UCT deal short-changes students MATTHEW VAN TEIJLINGEN

THE UNIVERSITY has recently signed an extended lease agreement with Atlas Books, terminating in 2012, which gives the bookshop exclusive rights to operate as the only campus bookstore at UCT. The lease specifies that Atlas is required to make second-hand books available to the students.

Considering that most student loans allow for roughly R1,000 to R1,200 per semester for books, buying new books is impractical and far too expensive. At the moment, ‘third party’ entrepreneurial book stalls, such as Pimp My Books, are helping to provide more affordable options for cashstrapped students.

The newly signed contract, however, renders second-hand book sales on campus illegal by any party other than Atlas.

SASCO-UCT’s chairperson, Tende Makofane told VARSITY, ‘Through the SRC we have managed to prevent the dismissal of From page 1 The sub-warden said, ‘he made her out to look like a crazy girl, but she’s not the type. She is quiet and shy.’ The alleged offender proceeded to give CPS his statement, but stopped after a few paragraphs and threw it away, noted the sub-warden.

He told VARSITY that he and his girlfriend had quarreled, which resulted in her leaving the residence in the middle of the night. He followed her into the tunnel underneath the bridge in Rondebosch. He then ‘pushed her to make her stop running. I then picked her up and carried her all the way back to the residence.’ He told VARSITY that this was the only occurrence which may have been misconstrued as ‘assault’.

The sub-warden stated that in the

other bookshop businesses on campus; based on the argument that Atlas books has not been fulfilling its requirements according to the contract, of supplying affordable second hand books for students.’

The secretary general of the SRC, Thando Vilakazi, said that ‘Since the first meeting with the UCT stakeholders, nothing much has changed’, and that ‘third party’ book stalls are ‘still operational and in the short term will remain so.’

While a temporary victory for the SRC, it remains to be seen whether Atlas and the University are committed to providing students with affordable second-hand books on campus. Although it can be expected that Pimp My Books and their counterparts will cease to exist as soon as Atlas starts selling second-hand books, it was a positive move by students to fulfil the needs of their fellow students with regards to more affordable books. version he relayed to her, he failed to mention this.

Following 27 July, the Residence Management Team banned the alleged offender from the residence because ‘she felt threatened’. According to the subwarden, less than a week later, they had reconciled. In light of this, the ban was lifted. The girlfriend voiced to residence management that she no longer feels threatened.

The sub-warden added, ‘He has a hold over her.’

As of yet, there is no official SRC comment. The SRC President explained this was because they ‘had not met as a council on this issue.’

His girlfriend could not be reached for comment. VARSITY acknowledges the need to protect her.

Varsity

news

UCT plants the seeds of sustainability

Bianca Meyjes

Green eyed monster? - Green week was intended to promote awareness about the environment and being responsible earth dwellers. However, many students felt that the amount of paper used for posters, ‘parking tickets’ and flyers was unnecessary and defeated the purpose. Nevertheless campus was definitely pretty in green.

UCT produces nearly five to seven tons of waste on a weekly basis, 60 to 70 percent of which is recyclable. This fact alone was enough for a group of passionate students to lead the campus in the worldwide trend of ‘going green’.

Last week, the Green Campus Initiative (GCI) set up a fiveday programme to highlight the importance of recycling on campus. A recycling system has now been introduced in which paper, tin, plastic and non-recyclable waste are disposed of in separate bins.

Green Week also hosted a series of documentary screenings, panel debates and talks, in which students could participate and become more informed.

A waste monster was built on Jammie Plaza and the ‘Green Police’ ‘fined’ people for driving to campus. The awareness campaign is set to become an annual event on the UCT calendar.

Susan Botha, a staff member at the Botany Department, started the GCI a year ago, with

3

the hope of reducing UCT’s carbon footprint and improving waste management behaviour.

The organisation now has a 400strong membership of both staff and students.

Organisations such as the Ridelink initiative have coupled with the GCI in bringing students to the table. Ridelink encourages students to carpool with each other, rather than drive alone to campus. Within the coming weeks, Ridelink will also be collaborating with societies such as the UCT Cycling Club to get students more involved.

A miscommunication on Wednesday saw the Jammie Plaza being double-booked for both Green Week and a Hummer promotion. The irony did not go unnoticed.

All in all however, the week was a success. Many students expressed a keen interest for helping the campus to become more environmentally friendly.

For more information on how to get involved, join the Green Campus Initiative site on Vula or check out www.ridelink.i8.com.

4

Volume 67 Number 9

Opinions Letters

The problem with Zim Editorial SOME label politicians as liars and fabricators of the truth. Well, with the alleged statement made by Robert Mugabe preceding the March elections, that when one is unwanted by the people in politics, then inevitably it is time for him to leave, this kind of stereotyping has some credibility.

Bearing this in mind, it offends my sense of justice and democracy that my African continent, including Zimbabwe, is denied what it’s supposed to enjoy as per the aspirations of the African people, who demand peace and governments that will be accountable in fulfilling their democratic mandate.

With all due respect to SADC, which mandated comrade Mbeki eight years ago to mediate in Zimbabwe, democracy must always be about the wishes of the electorate as illustrated by free and fair elections, and never about the soothing of egos of a few bad power mongers. Such individuals sell people out and strike deals behind close doors in foreign lands. It is submitted that negotiations with a party that has sworn it will never relinquish power, and gone on to showcase its illegitimate usage of force by abusing its own citizens, thereby instilling fear in their hearts and

minds before the second round of elections, is futile and indeed the wrong exercise.

These negotiations, whose mediator has several times failed to appreciate the magnitude of the problem, are bound to collapse. The process is infested with shortcomings such as ZANU-PF coming to the table in bad faith and the mediator himself being an incumbent president, with his own pressing national problems. The continent is filled with former presidents who can efficiently facilitate an inter-Zimbabwean dialogue, Sir Ketumile Masire of Botswana who mediated the inter-Congolese dialogue successfully some time back, being on point.

Overall, it is submitted that consensus on a power sharing government which mimics the Kenyan solution, is an undemocratic quick fix that throws the voices of the people out, and sets a bad precedent for future governments, that, should they lose elections, they can refuse to leave office and abuse power to an extent that power-sharing becomes the only solution.

Rest in peace democracy of, for and by the people.

Thato Marumo

A student’s take on inflation Sheila Afari

IT WAS January of this year: Oh, what sweet memories. I had just moved into a flat, and res was a distant memory. Back then, buying groceries did not put a dent in my wallet, and I always managed to give money to the beggars along the way. However, the reality is that it’s now August and the good old days are no more.

When buying groceries, I avoid the beggars like a plague because the budget is so tight, and slowly but surely memories of res have started to filter in. The famous Wednesday Sechaba pizzas and ribs float about in my head. Being a digs student this year, the notion of inflation has suddenly become a reality. I often joke that I have unwittingly become a vegetarian, simply because it’s cheaper.

The rising costs of food and fuel over the past few months have been alarming to many South Africans. Economists, however, predict this inflation will be short-

lived. There has already been a slight decrease in petrol price, but one has to wonder how long it will be before it goes up again. Is this just the beginning of the end for SA? I was having a conversation with my buddy, Chenai, the other day about the current situation in SA. Being a digs student herself, I asked her opinion on the increase of the cost of living.

She looked at me and laughed.

She later responded by saying, ‘Don’t forget I’m from Zim. It’s like déjà vu for me, first there was load shedding, then petrol went up. Need I say more?’ I got the message loud and clear. Shwartz Kusikwenyu, also a Zimbabwean student staying in digs, painted a similar picture to Chenai. His parents give him money at the beginning of the year, but with the increase in electricity and food prices, he finds that it’s affecting his budget, and has resorted to working to compensate the difference.

Many students on campus have

the view that these price increases are seriously affecting their monthly budgets. Christine Kabere pointed out that proper budgeting is now essential. Spontaneous ‘splurging’ could result in being broke for the rest of the month.

Increases in food prices are not the only hardships students are facing. The increase in petrol has also had a huge impact on students with cars. Claudia Alberti is one such student, and proclaims that although she has a car, she can’t go anywhere because petrol is so expensive. Josh Kleve has similar woes, and in order to get through the month, he has worked out that he cannot drive for more than half an hour a day. However, students such as Katherine Smit see the positive side of inflation. She comments on how everyone has been talking about ‘going green’ for so long that perhaps now the talk will become action, as people are now forced to walk or join car pools.

In defence of tabloids Jaydene Swartz

THEY look like newspapers and even leave ink on your fingertips, but this is not enough to permit tabloids to be part of the journalistic profession. Media practitioners and academics have met the issue of the rising popularity of tabloids in South Africa with mixed reactions. If tabloid writing aspires to be respected as real journalism, it must contain the basic principles of journalism. However, the South African National Editors Forum (SANEF) revealed in a press statement that tabloids are ‘a vibrant element of the changing media landscape.’ In the same breath, however, SANEF is still steadfast in their belief in journalistic principles and ethics. This contradictory stance is evidence that there is some disagreement within the forum.

Among the existing tabloids are the Sunday Sun, the Daily Sun, Die Son, and Cape Town’s most widely read tabloid, The Daily Voice. The editor of the Sunday Sun says that he feels that there is a prevailing prejudice, and likened the way tabloids are seen to ‘pirate taxis’. He also says that they have never lost a court case, which is indicative of the accuracy with which the publication’s journalists report and fact-check. Karl Brophy, Editor of the Cape Town-

based Daily Voice, says that he does not rely on wire sources as mainstream as newspapers do and that his journalists do not sit behind their desks conjuring up stories to put into the next edition.

Instead, they go out into the field and report the truth. He also adds that it is unfair to call his publication sensational, when the things that happen in and around Cape Town are already sensational.

In Herman Wasserman’s article, ‘A danger to journalism,’ he says that one of the reasons for the rise in tabloids is because of a lack in the mainstream. The fact that tabloids are being criticised also reveals a dominant ideology within the media itself. This is disconcerting when thinking about democracy in South Africa. Democracy refers to the free and equal right for all participants in a country in decision-making. Which begs the question: Why is it that tabloids are being rejected as part of journalism? The whole idea behind democracy is change, and the people who criticise this medium are worse than the tabloids for imposing dominant media ideologies.

This could be likened to a new person of different cultural background being bullied and shunned because they are different. The same can be said about the relationship between mainstream and tabloids. It is evident that tab-

loids do not conform to the orthodox ways of journalism. The real threat, however, is that if tabloids are accepted into the mainstream, it would reconstruct the meaning of what journalism is, and could pose a threat to academics.

Tabloids have been placed on the negative side of the binary and have been accused of peddling gossip and scandal. Little attention is paid to the fact that mainstream newspapers are themselves guilty of what they accuse tabloids of doing. A ‘paradigm repair’, as Wasserman refers to it, is a way of reestablishing the hegemony of a dominant professional system by ostracising and castigating those who cross the boundaries of real journalism.

Tabloids, in general, have an unorthodox way of going about things. Some focus on celebrity news and others on genuine issues facing people in South Africa. The beauty of living in a democratic country is that people should be able to make their own decisions, and not be spoken for by dominant voices in the media world. The truth is that tabloids, regardless of content, have increased the number of people reading. The circulation numbers for tabloids alone speak volumes, since people make their vote for tabloids by purchasing them. All that remains to be said is: ‘the people have spoken.’

Fifty-two years ago, thousands of women marched to the Union buildings to demand the repeal of the pass laws. Now we commemorate their actions on Women’s day. Since then, women have made great strides in all spheres. But as long as violence against women persists, women’s rights will be severely curtailed. They will be rights in name alone, as opposed to fully realised rights.

Speaking from this vantage point, I know that many women have exploited the opportunities which have been given to them. Women are prominent in various student organisations, including RAG, SHAWCO and our very own VARSITY. Yet for some reason, women are not as well-represented in the SRC. Out of twenty-eight contenders for the 2009 SRC, nine are women. In the current SRC, four members are women, and there is only one woman in the executive.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we should vote for any woman by default. The principle that the best candidate should be voted in holds true. Yet it would be great to have more women to choose from. And there are eminently capable women who could serve the students. This way, women don’t have to rely on well-meaning men to represent them.

On a different note, if you ever feel that you need to air a grievance, you should gather about fifty like-minded people.

Fifty people is enough to block the incoming lane from Woolsack to UCT. If you decide to use this means to protest, be sure to choose a peak hour, ensuring maximum gridlock and mayhem. This way, everyone will know that you have a problem. It might not endear you to the rest of the student population who wish to get to lectures on time, but you’ll have made your point.

Yesterday, fifty people who were fed up with UCT’s failure to provide a Jammie shelter clogged Woolsack Drive. Whatever your thoughts on the disruption they caused, you have to concede that they made their point in style. And many SRC hopefuls took the opportunity to get some political mileage out of the situation.

On that note, interrogations are taking place this week.

Last night, candidates were questioned at Liesbeeck, which is referred to as either Luthuli House or the Kremlin, depending on your political affiliation. So if you have any questions for our incumbents, make sure you attend.

Enjoy the edition, Nabeelah

news gathering next newsgathering 14 August, during Meridian in LS2C

2008 collective editor Nabeelah Martin, deputy editor Kieran Duggan, chief sub editor Philippa Levenberg sub editors Jade Cooke, Maciek Dubla, Louise Ferreira, Dianne Shelton operations manager Melissa Rassie images Justin Andrews & Martin Wilson news Zerene Haddad & Tatenda Goredema, focus Seamus Duggan & Nicole Jonklass business & technology Karl Thomson, opinions Tara Leverton, features Jade Taylor Cooke arts & entertainment Lara Potgieter, humour Anton Taylor, sports Rory Holmes & Lindi Brownell finance & advertising team Philip Voget & Kimberly Urbaniak, marketing & brand manager Lauren Haller, marketing team Danielle Gordon IT manager Timothy Nchabaleng, website editor Emma Nherera, media school director Joy Waddel staff writers David Brits, Megan Lyons, Bianca Meyjes, Rémy Ngamije, Sheila Afari external contributors Matthew van Teijlingen, Robin Scher, Tombara Ekiyor, Daniel Freund, Jaydene Swartz, Thato Marumo, Louise Ferreira, Berndt Hannweg, Mengfei Chen, Sentlenyana Machaba

erratum In the last edition, VARSITY incorrectly attributed a quote to Lawrence Mushwana. Mushwan did not say that the NPA had a prima facie case against Jacob Zuma. It was in fact Bulelani Ngcuka who made that statement. VARSITY apologises for the error tel 021 650 3543 fax 021 650 2904 email varsitynewspaper@gmail.com location 5th Floor, Steve Biko Student Union Building, Upper Campus advertising email Phil Voget on bosvark23@yahoo.com or fax him on 021 650 2904. Rates and other information available upon request.

disclaimer The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the University or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective. The Opinions Editor reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 5 pm on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously.

6

opinions

Cannibal Salad

Blaming Fluffy Tara Leverton

“We, being the sods who take the bus, are not satisfied, and thus you, being the sods who come by car, will be made aware of it.”

This is fair. If the sods who come by car were in a position where to do so was an uncomfortable and displeasing experience, you can bet said sods would come by bus, and inconvenience all the other sods while they were at it.

So, no hard feelings over the traffic obstruction yesterday on my part. I’m sure everyone else who was late for lectures feels exactly the same- including all the other sods who come by bus. One might think that singing songs once used to combat the all-consuming evils

of apartheid for the purpose of getting a new shelter by the bus stop is laughable, but one has never had to wait in the wet and cold for the bus every week, so perhaps one has no place to comment. The songs used to want equality, freedom and fairness to all men. We still want those things, but they’ll be a long time in coming, so let’s hope we can have a rain shelter while we wait.

In a country that is struggling to deal with so many big atrocities, it seems petty to bring small ones to the table. But maybe we should throw a few small ones onto the table and see if they bounce. For one; the matter of dogs.

People who own dogs make me want to kill them, and I am not talking about the dogs. I recently read a story in which some idiot’s Rottweiler savaged some other idiot’s Chihuahuaand, for reasons that escape me,

The real dream deferred the Rotty was thought to be in the wrong. Disregarding the fact that Chihuahua’s are agents of the devil, it is not a dog’s fault when it bites someone. Animals can’t be at fault. They can do things wrong, they can need to be disciplined for them, but they can’t ever actually be at fault. A dog does not understand human right and wrong. The dog just wants someone to love it and feed it, and occasionally, it may want to maul something.

The owner, who, presumably, is human and thus, presumably, can tell right from wrong, is the one who is supposed to instil these virtues in the dog. If the dog does something wrong, then, yes, he should be disciplined to make sure he doesn’t do it again. But it is still the human’s fault. Long story short; don’t blame your dog for acting like a dog. Blame yourself for not teaching it to act more like a human. You sod.

A nation held hostage Seamus Duggan

THE Congress of South African Trade Unions (COSATU) has a long and proud history of opposing the government and fighting for the rights of its workers.

Needless to say, this history began with the Apartheid regime when COSATU, many of whose members and elite can be found in the South African Communist Party and African National Congress ranks, took on the National Party with militant fervour. The question we need to ask ourselves is what role COSATU should play in post-apartheid South Africa.

The Union uses ‘struggle language’ to promote themselves and their ilk. How often have we heard Zwelinzima Vavi or Blade Nzimande prance around talking about the revolution or how the struggle continues? The trouble with COSATU is that we do not know whose revolution they are referring to. Is it only their members, or is it the struggle of the South African people? Vavi’s comments about killing people who do not support Jacob Zuma would seem to show that COSATU’s leaders are worried about one thing and one thing only - their own interests. They are merely using the perceived interests of the nation and of their members to advance themselves into positions

out for themselves - Is COSATU part of the problem? of benefit.

The fact of the matter is that South Africa is being held to ransom by the Union, in their tussle for power. Having being sidelined by the Mbeki government, the COSATU leadership now want their moment in the spotlight, and they have got it.

Using Comrade Zuma as a vehicle, they have launched themselves back into the sphere of relevance and are once more beginning to flex their political muscle.

As if last year’s nationwide strikes weren’t enough, the Union now

Volume 67 Number 9

deems it appropriate to march against rising food and fuel costs, bringing both Johannesburg and Pretoria to a grinding halt.

While we cannot doubt that there are intelligent thinkers among them, these ambitious, select few are not using their prowess appropriately. The rising costs are primarily a result of international phenomena, and one can only presume that COSATU expects the government to solve the matter by increasing spending on subsidies.

Sure, this would help many people throughout the nation, but there are other forces at play.

Crime, unemployment, housing, education and healthcare are just a few of the fronts on which the government is being attacked, and given the limited budget of our less developed country, there is only so much money to go around.

COSATU is an organisation that has an obligation to fight for its paying members. However, as kingmakers of JZ, they are extending their political arm a bit too far into political matters.

Pursuing the interests of their members is one thing. Destroying the country’s economy and threatening to kill if their preferred candidate for next year’s presidential elections is sent to prison, is another matter entirely.

Tatenda Goredema

THE constitution of this country has a section in which it notes, ‘This Constitution provides a historic bridge between the past of a deeply divided society characterised by strife, conflict, untold suffering and injustice, and a future founded on the recognition of human rights, democracy and peaceful coexistence and development opportunities for all South Africans, irrespective of colour, race, class, belief of sex.’

Everyone who saw the images of the violence perpetrated during the xenophobic attacks earlier this year would have felt a sense of sadness, anger and maybe even embarrassment. The root of this violence was mostly attributed to hatred of foreigners and the existing perception amongst some people that the ‘foreigners’ were taking local jobs and housing, which was meant to be allocated to citizens.

The main problem which I believe was not given enough focus is the growing frustration with the lack of service delivery and the growing inequality between rich and poor felt by the majority of the people in this country. The xenophobic attacks were on a certain level, a manifestation of these frustrations.

In a speech made in 1998, Thabo Mbeki, then Deputy President noted the problem of ‘two South Africa’s, one living well off and luxuriously, whilst the other half was poor and discontent’. Mbeki accurately suggested that ‘the longer the situation of inequality and discontent with government delivery persisted, in spite of the gift of hope delivered to the people by democracy, the more entrenched will be the conviction that the concept of nation building is a mere mirage and that no basis exists, or will ever exist, to enable national reconciliation to take place.’ How accurate that assessment is ten years on.

‘Hand in hand with freedom of speech goes the power to be heard, to share in the decisions of government which shape men’s lives,’ stated Robert Kennedy in his speech to UCT faculty members and students in 1966. The majority of people in this country perhaps no longer feel that the Mbeki-led government can hear their cries for better service delivery and for more equality of opportunity, and that more importantly; they have lost the ear of a government they

overwhelmingly elected and as a result, feel they have lost the ability to share in the decision making which shapes their lives. The failure to stop the implementation of GEAR against a background of discontent is evidence enough of that.

It should come as no surprise then that the ANC’s new leader, Jacob Zuma has gotten so much support from the ‘common man’.

Apart from the fact that Zuma represents everything that Mbeki is not, he is considered to be a man of the people who shares in their beliefs and desires. Zuma is so loved that he gets support virtually everywhere he goes, and draws people by the thousands, just to get a glimpse of him.

‘The true test of this country’s character will come if Zuma is convicted.’

The true test of this country’s character will come if Zuma is convicted; the anger and frustration felt by the masses of this country may once again boil over, only this time it may be against people perceived to be ‘persecuting’ Msholozi. A placard that I saw on television, held by a Zuma supporter earlier this week at the Pietermaritzburg High Court stated, ‘No Zuma, No Country!’ this statement coupled with the overt and defiant support shown to Zuma throughout his rape trial and the Polokwane conference is enough to suggest that Zuma is now the designated man of the people and that he represents the hopes and dreams of the masses.

If he is convicted, the people who have supported him may feel that they have been slighted and that their will has been suppressed.

Add that feeling to the alreadyexistent sentiment of discontent with the current government leadership and what you have is a very ominous concoction representing in a sense, a dream deferred.

So in closing, I quote, as Thabo Mbeki did in his 1998 speech, the African American poet Langston Hughes, ‘What happens to a dream deferred?’ he asked in one of his poems, ‘It explodes.’

Varsity

7

focus

Get involved – make a difference Seamus Duggan THE TIME for change has arrived.

All of the universities main organisations, student bodies and publications have entered into their respective phases of recruitment for the 2009 collectives.

The Student Representative Council (SRC) is arguably the body with the most relevance for students attending the university.

Whilst applications have closed and the list of the 28 students to contest the election has been issued, the matter is still of consequence: It is we, the students, that must cast our ballot for the individuals we deem most appropriate to represent us. The tasks mandated to the SRC range from academic and financial exclusions to health, safety and transformation.

From 11 to 15 August, interrogation of the hopeful candidates will be conducted at various residences. Election week will be running from 18 to 22 August, so that is your opportunity to go out, engage with the candidates and play a part in electing what we hope will be an effective SRC for 2009. Polling stations will be situated throughout the university’s campuses.

Applications for the university’s premier fundraising group, RAG, are open until 22 August.

SRC candidate interrogation dates and venues Tuesday 12th August – At Liesbeek from 20:00 – 21:30 Wednesday 13th August - At Rochester from 20:00 – 21:30 Thursday 14th August – At Clarinus from 20:00 – 21:30 Friday 15th August – At Forest Hill from 20:00 – 21:30 Tuesday 12th – Friday 15th August - In Leslie Social 1D from 13:00 – 14:00 RAG is charged with raising the funds for the Student Health and Welfare Centres Organisation (SHAWCO). They achieve this feat by hosting major events such as the Big Bash in February and the fashion show later in the year.

Contrary to popular belief, RAG is not about partying and getting drunk, as they provide invaluable funds by getting students to be

Vox pops

proactive in a manner that is both enjoyable and educational.

If you are interested in giving up a few hours of your time to help those less fortunate than yourself, then you have until the 18 August to get your applications in to SHAWCO for its various project committees. The organisation sends students into townships and other areas to coach kids in subjects such as Mathematics and English.

Finally, VARSITY newspaper applications are open until the 20 August. The newspapers role on campus is to hold the various institutions and organisations accountable as well as to represent the student view and push their agenda. If you are not interested in the political side of things, then there are places open for sports writers, arts and entertainment writers, photographers and even IT technicians.

The RAG, SHAWCO and VARSITY offices are all allocated on the 5th floor of the Steve Biko Student Union building (food court) and the SRC are situated on the 7th floor of the same building.

If you have enquiries about any of these organs of student activism, visit these offices – that is what they are there for.

Do you think it’s important for students to join societies?

‘I don’t think that it’s important because we already cram so much in. So I think that if you want to join societies, then I suppose that that’s good, but if you really want to just cram and have a good time and work then it’s pointless to actually join societies because you’re wasting your time.’

Ryan Lewis, BSc, 1st year

‘Yes, ‘cos if you’re not a res student, then you need to get involved in stuff like that in order to have a full varsity experience.’

Guy Thomas, B Soc Sci, 2nd year

Res House Comm elections Rémy Ngamije AUGUST signals the start of the changing of the guard in the student administrative sphere in which hopeful SRC candidates are nominated and begin their campaigns. The change of administration for student-led bodies filter down to UCT residences, a place where politics and power struggles are acted out on a much smaller scale.

House Committees are a student body selected from eligible candidates within each residence.

They are mandated to represent students as well as communicate their needs to residence management, organise stimulating activities for residence members and generally making a student’s stay in residence an enjoyable and memorable experience. House Committees play an integral role in the lives of students in UCT’s catering residences. Charged with such duties, students with leader-

ship and management qualities are encouraged to stand for election, with their peers selecting those whom they feel will adequately fulfil their mandate.

A stroll through the halls of residences will reveal the many colourful campaign posters boasting enticing promises of what areas of residence life hopeful candidates will focus or improve upon. Promises are put to the test by the probing questions of their peers at Interrogation, an event at which each candidate is crossexamined by the house members.

At Interrogation, candidates are given the chance to test their political vocabulary, confounding many a student with complicated vocal algebra. Despite this however, students are able to gauge the quality and viability of each candidate’s campaign promises. The subsequent elections will freely and fairly decide the members who will represent the residences as well as the students to the best

of their abilities.

House Committees play an active role in the life of residence students, perhaps even more so than the SRC, the highest student governing body. They are the first instance of student governance that a student in a UCT residence encounters. Not only do they present a platform for exercising leadership skills, they also provide a crucial stepping stone for those with aspirations for positions on more prominent student councils at UCT. The smaller political arena of Residence House Committee elections is fought and won with the zest of a presidential campaign. An understandable trait since House Committee positions have a host of advantages at their disposal; free entrance into all Orientation Week events, more spacious rooms and the first-pick of any beautiful, handsome or slightly intoxicated First Years.

Embark on a journey of success in the world

‘Yes definitely. I think it’s a very important social element to your education and it enriches and broadens your perspective on a whole number of issues.’

Jess Auerbach, B Soc Sci, Honours

‘For societies like SHAWCO, I don’t think it’s necessary to join them, you don’t need the name behind it to try and help out people. But WineSoc is great. Yah, you drink, but you learn about something. It’s good to develop yourself in other areas, also.’

Leandre Williams, BA, 3rd year

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AUGUST 12: SACM Students’ Quarterly Concert @ Baxter Concert Hall The music college students showcase their talents.

12: Rock Paper Scissors Tournament @ Die Mystic Boer Come try your skills with big prizes to be won.

12 – 24: Jikeleza Reloaded @ On Broadway Theatre An explosive performance by a talented youth dance company.

12 – 31: Our Triumphs and our Tears @ Iziko Slave Lodge A photographic exhibition that presents an overview of women’s oppression and resistance in 20th century South Africa.

13: New Holland @ Klein Libertas Theatre Catch this rising Afri/Eng rock band while they’re hot.

13: Poetry Delight @ Café Sofia Enjoy fresh lyrical talent at our featured event.

13 – 16: Andre the Hypnotist @ Baxter Concert Hall The hilarious hypnotist is back in Cape Town after his sell-out season in March.

13 - 16: Cape Town Fasion Week @ CTICC It’s time for SA’s top designers to hit the catwalk and strut

their stuff.

13 - 29: The Mechanicals @ The Little Theatre The Little Theatre will be showcasing two distinguished plays by the leading American writers, David Mamet and Sam Shepard. The company, The Mechanicals, will be performing the plays – Glengarry Glen Ross and Buried Child – on alternate nights.

14 – 16: Butlers & Brandy @ Artscape Enjoy Cluedo? Then this one’s for you. As part of the audience, you will be able to choose what happens next in this hilarious murder mystery.

15: Richard the 3rd & Spekta @ Die Mystic Boer Come get funky to the beat and bounce around.

15: Driver Down, Chasing Friday & The Undefined @ Klein Libertas Theatre A night of the usual rock/ alternative/indie mayhem.

20: Foto na Dans @ Klein Libertas Theatre Come get down with some crazy Afrikaans jamming at the launch of the new Foto na Dans EP 22: The Goth Industrial Gathering 2008; The NV Nations @ Tafelberg Cavern Get out them black outfits kiddos.

&

Volume 67 Number 9

Entertainment

8,000 reasons for a rainy day Megan Lyons HAVE you ever arrived at a local DVD store in high hopes of snatching that fantastic movie advertised in the window? How about attempting to locate that weird-ass documentary requested from various media course outlines? Well, the solution is here and now even closer than before – DVD Nouveau with stores in Kildare Road and in Bree Street.

This colossal collection of DVDs includes an array of BBC Television comedies and dramas, gay interest films, foreign, art, and classic films, as well as a range of documentaries.

When walking into the Kildare store, one is slightly dazzled by the rows of DVD shelves snaking their way attractively around the store. In addition to the volumes of DVDs, a funky, stripy couch resides in the corner, on which one can ponder the endless choices to be made. Pillars on either side of the entrance of the adjoining rooms are also a quaint feature of the store, giving one the impression of a designer boutique and not just a rental outlet for DVDs. The store is definitely striving for the ultimate DVD experience with its impressive collection and original décor, and is certainly more than a trip to the local rental store.

DVD Nouveau is a sister

Photo by Meg Lyons

8

Arts

DVD Nouveau - the place to find indie films store to The Absolutely Fabulous Video Store in Morningside, Sandton. AbFab has been in business for 16 years and assists DVD Nouveau when its collection falls short. Together, they form one of the largest DVD collections in South Africa. So whether one is searching for that unobtainable

media-related documentary or wanting to catch a good movie when its time on the big screen has expired, DVD Nouveau is a question of where, and not if.

Operating Hours: Monday to Saturday: 10am - 8pm Sunday: 11am - 8pm

9 The man with For the love of poetry Arts

the golden gun THE first 007 novel, Casino Royale, appeared in 1953, and the first film, Dr. No, in 1962. Since then, there have been 20 films, five James Bonds and the legacy continues.

The Bond story is, for the most part, formulaic: It features exotic locations, fast cars and fancy gadgets, plenty of money, powerful villains, beautiful women, and Bond playing the hero. Nevertheless, the toys have become more sophisticated with the advance of digital technology, and signature brands have varied – 007’s preferred Aston Martin has been a Lotus and a BMW. His trademark Rolex has been exchanged for Omega.

The female characters are intriguing, but one-dimensional, and difficult to take seriously, given Ian Fleming’s penchant for giving them ridiculous names.

Just take Christmas Jones, Honey Ryder and Octopussy. Although they are sometimes in positions of power, they clearly remained inferior to Bond, much to the chagrin of feminists around the world.

This has started to change in recent years, especially with Judi Dench stepping into the role of M. The Bond girls are becoming characters in their own right, instead of mere arm candy. However, they still fall for Bond in the end, even after displaying obvious indifference or hostility towards him.

Saving the world must be a bonding experience.

And now Bond. Suave and debonair, Fleming’s creation has undergone some changes over the years – he’s stopped smoking, for example – but 007’s best-known traits remain. He possesses a multitude of talents: he can fly things, drive things, ski, sail, parachute, scuba dive and surf. He has a knack for getting out of sticky situations – sinking submarines, melting ice palaces, burning aeroplanes and disintegrating space stations. He prefers vodka martinis ‘shaken, not stirred’, is still a chauvinist and looks devastatingly handsome in a well-cut suit.

Traditionally, Bond has been almost untouchable. He is occasionally drugged or knocked unconscious, but seems impervious to bullets and never bleeds.

However, this has started to change.

Photo courtesy of ericmchicago.files.wordpress

Louise Ferreira reviews the history of James Bond before the release of ‘Quantum of Solace’

&Entertainment

Sheila Afari reviews the Season Two Cape Town premiere of Poetry Delight SEASON Two of Poetry Delight hit Cape Town on Wednesday 6 August at Café Sofia in Rondebosch. Having successfully launched in New York and Atlanta, the pressure was on for Cape Town to measure up.

Endorsed by HUMMER, Cafe Culture KWV, Serge Kalu and IAN P UNIVERSAL, the Cape Town premiere was bound to be a huge success.

Having had the privilege of being a VIP guest, you can imagine my surprise when I received a phone call saying a Hummer was waiting to pick me up. Arriving at the event to find my table with a platter of snacks catered by Cafe Sofia and a bottle of Cafe Culture KWV wine. The event far exceeded any expectations, with ten spectacular poets performing and keeping the audience highly entertained.

UCT’s very own Mutsa Kajese, who goes by the stage name of ‘Black Anakin’, was one such poet. His performance was described by UCT post-graduate student, Chenge Maruziva, as being ‘freaking awesome!’

When I asked Kajese what he thought of the concept of Poetry Delight, he said that ‘it allows for

a platform which we (students) lack. It’s a pioneer of an African voice’. Humanities student, Purity Potgieter, commented on Poetry Delight as being a ‘beautiful, powerful concept with great meaning’.

UCT Commerce student, Simon Letsoala, also found the event to be a huge success and highly enjoyable because ‘people were free to express what they wanted… there were no restrictions’.

Ian P founded the Delight phenomenon last year, of which Poetry Delight forms a part.

Poetry Delight was launched last year at Coffee Bean, and then it went to Zimbabwe. This year it has already graced the cities of New York and Atlanta and will be launching in Johannesburg, Botswana and Zambia very soon.

Ian P described the Cape Town premiere as a ‘dream come true’.

Poetry Delight will run every Wednesday at Café Sofia in Rondebosch until 29 October. If you are interested in booking a VIP table, buying single tickets or want to perform, visit the website www.poetrydelight.com or contact 0721068750. I highly recommend that everyone indulge in this delight.

Picture courtesy of octane.za.net

Varsity

A way with words - Mutsa Kajese aka Black Anakin performs at Poetry Delight

Let me tell my story

David Brits discovers Themba Crocodile Mchunu’s directorial debut

Chicken or beef? - Daniel Craig emerges In 2002’s Die Another Day, Pierce Brosnan as Bond is captured and tortured. He is imprisoned for so long that he grows long hair and a beard, which seems almost sacrilegious. And who can forget the torture scene in Casino Royale where a naked Daniel Craig is tied down and whipped? This is perhaps the most significant change of all: The idea that James Bond, 007 with a license to kill, might be vulnerable. In another fifty years, maybe we’ll see Bond shed a tear.

A promise is a promise, I thought as I caught the eye of my friend, young director Themba Crocodile Mchunu. It was whilst ambling to the Drama Shop to buy a sandwich, that I bumped into my tall creative friend. He jumped with joy as he saw me – he had just got the green light for his first play, Let Me Tell My Story. After an animated series of handshakes, he invited me to the opening night of the show. Naturally, persuaded by the prospect of a free ticket, I graciously accepted.

On his directorial debut, Themba’s play was to be performed at UCT’s Res4Res Theatre Festival; a showcase of student theatre. It exposes a broad range of University students, particularly those who are housed in residences, an opportunity to participate on stage.

It was 7 pm on the opening night.

Wearing my best dinner jacket, I stood inside the gaudy lobby of Hiddingh Campus’ renowned Little Theatre, and marvelled at the buzz of theatre-going students gathering on the maroon carpet.

With a palm greased with two complimentary tickets, my second glass of Four Cousins and pen in hand, I stumbled into the spacious theatre.

To my surprise, the event was well attended by students and the theatre-going public alike. The little green program, which I held in my hand promised an exciting

line-up of four plays, offering – as guaranteed by the press release – a veritable smorgasbord of theatrical delicacies. My dear friend Themba’s show, Let Me Tell My Story, was second in the line-up.

As the lights dimmed, I readied my pen and, with a will to turn my teeth a shade pinker, knocked back

‘...revealing a South Africa, not as a place of social imbalance, but rather a country like any other...’

the rest of my wine.

Now I’m no playwright, but I was really wowed by the quality of Themba’s play. It was truly one that broke away from theatrical norms, reflecting artistic ideas. The cast dazzled with their performance of numerous emotive and action-filled scenes, steered strongly by the sex appeal of poetry.

Driven by the realism of con-

temporary South African poetry, the play’s many diverse scenes – a violent taxi crash, drinking on a Friday at the local shebeen, women fighting for their rights – all speak of life in our country right now. This was what I liked about the show, as it was a breakaway from protest theatre, revealing a South Africa, not as a place of social imbalance, but rather as a country like any other; a place with social conflicts.

Let Me Tell My Story was the culmination of several months of hard work, research, and collaboration. Earlier this year, Themba came across the artwork of a first-year Fine Arts student from Michaelis. This assemblage sculpture made from old cans and scrap, he said, evoked in him the power and poetry of the visual arts. With this as his inspirational source, the young director made it his quest to bring this visual poetry to the theatre.

With visual art as his point of departure, Themba began his epic directorial mission by turning to local poetry. ‘How about doing a play about African poems?’ he thought to himself one day, nestled deep amongst a nest of research books in the Drama section of Hiddingh Library. And so then he began to create a story that everyone could relate and contribute to. Let Me Tell My Story is the deliciously appealing result.

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11

Features

Volume 67 Number 9

AS MANY a Sports’ fan will confess, there is nothing like watching an athlete achieve the impossible.

Seeing Steven Gerrard drill a shot into the back of the net from forty yards or Haile Selassie chewing tarmac on the way to another marathon victory are moments that are rarely surpassed. When Brian Habana puts on the gas, it might as well be you on the field dodging and diving. When a trophy is lifted, you feel as though you too have a hand on it. In that instance, all things are forgotten; xenophobia, inflation, racism and lectures. Any athlete will tell you that the feeling is unrivalled, and any supporter will often place their team or hero as the most important thing in their life (sex and breathing ranking second and third respectively).

Sporting events have always been able to captivate an audience to the extent that life’s adversities are forgotten. Where athleticism and the desire to win are involved – whether it be watching a simple athletics competition between rival high schools or a Champions’ League final – feelings of unity and solidarity are always evoked.

At such times, whether winning or losing, problems are cast aside in the sheer enjoyment of the Sport as fans rally behind an athlete hoping that his or her triumph will encourage them to overcome personal problems. It is this unique characteristic of Sport that can help in conflict resolution and ease everyday struggles, even if only for a little while.

With numerous sporting events having taken place in the past year, le Tour de France, the UEFA Champions’ League as well as the EURO 2008 Soccer Tournament being the most notable so far, Sport has never had a larger stage, nor wider audience to preach the message of unity. It is through these global events that messages such as AIDS awareness and antiracism are often broadcast to the world, often with great success.

The Stand Up/Speak Up campaign ran by Nike geared towards combating racism in Sport as well as in society, has garnered support from all quarters; celebrities, fans and governments alike. The continued support of AIDS awareness initiatives and the donation of funds to AIDS-related charities

by Sports organisations, are key factors in curbing the spread of the pandemic.

Photos courtesy of home.golden.net

Rémy Ngamije

Mother city - South Africa’s prettiest city, or just superficial?

Bianca meyjes

Kodak moment - Sport has the potential to hasten political change The power to shape national identity is another vital feature of Sport; Brazil is chiefly known for its Soccer, New Zealand for its Rugby and India for its Cricket.

Such references elevate Sport beyond its status as a game, and positions it within a discourse that shapes world views. Competition, Sportsmanship, determination and the continued pursuit of excellence are some hallmarks of Sport that have helped shape the identities of many of the great Sporting nations. Conflict resolution is perhaps the most important and least utilised aspect of Sport. By encouraging discipline, teamwork and respect for fellow competitors, Sport can achieve what many reforms and charity organisations have failed to; that is, convince and educate some of the most impoverished and violent societies that the world ultimately comprises of ‘we’ and not ‘me’.

In fact, it would not be surprising if the Middle East conflict could be resolved simply by someone throwing a soccer ball into the melee.

The global movement of Sport is to take a local turn in two years time, bringing a massive Sporting spectacle to the African continent. South Africa being chosen as host of the Soccer World Cup is a landmark moment in our his-

tory. Never before has an event of such stature, financial gravity or worldwide appeal been hosted in Africa. South Africa has been granted a global stage on which to present not only itself, but the rest of Africa, as a country and continent capable of conducting an event with more followers than religion. The feelings of unity that arose from this honour are similar to those during the Korea/Japan tournament held in 2002, where the little-known South Korean team climbed the ladder of football history, supported by their countrymen and the world at large.

The power of Sport to hasten change in South Africa has always been remarkable. When Nelson Mandela and Francois Pienaar lifted the 1995 Rugby World Cup trophy, the idea of the Rainbow Nation took root in hearts and minds across the country. And with the Soccer World Cup looming, rising to the challenge of creating infrastructure to meet its demands, generating support for our local Sport, and gearing society as a whole to host such a grand event, is perhaps the best chance that South Africa and the struggling continent have ever had to prove that we are AfriCans, not Afri-Can’ts.

Rondebosch’s own Madhatter?

Sheila Afari interviews Rob-Ronald Retrot to discover the truth behind the ‘crazy white car guard’.

IF YOU have walked along Rondebosch Main Rd in the evening, you have more than likely seen or been approached by Rob. Rob looks after cars around the Baxter theatre and is most noticeably recognised by his distinguished ‘African hat and attire’.

When one comes across an elderly white man wearing African clothing and guarding cars for a living, the word ‘crazy’ might come to mind. Unfortunately, that is the classification that many have given to Rob. I believe in getting to know a person first before stereotyping them, so I went and paid Rob a visit.

Contrary to popular belief, Rob is not homeless. In fact he owns the flat he lives in. He is 56 years old, but still feels very much 19. He was born in Australia, but grew up in Cape Town. He matric-

Photo courtesy of mushroombusiness.com

Sport: The global unifier Battle of the cities

ulated from Camps Bay High and did one year of engineering here at UCT. With a shortage of funds and lack of interest in engineering, Rob went on to pursue a career in freelance photography, which he made a huge success of. He later bought his own yacht and went on a yachting journey to Brazil and the West Indies Islands, where he continued to do freelance photography. Rob eventually returned to South Africa and built a beautiful house in Durbanville where he lived with his girlfriend. After investing a lot financially in his ten-year relationship, things went sour and Rob lost everything, but he maintained his ‘dignity and walked away’.

I had to ask the most obvious question: ‘So why a car guard now?’ Rob responded by saying he’d lived a life full of adventure

and that ‘spirituality, humanity and change are very important’. He now designs and creates African clothing and teaches sewing. He does not do it for the money. He finds that he survives just fine on the tips he gets from looking after cars.

After the interview, Rob shows me the clothes he has already made. I fall in love with a particular salmon and purple dress, but he refuses to sell it to me. He tells me I need to come to his classes and learn to make my own. After a lot of nudging, which ends with me realising he will not cave in and sell me the dress, we engage in a discussion of Freud’s theories.

Rob is very interested in mental health and psychology, which he claims as the reason why he’s ‘lived a very free life’.

THIS winter holiday led me to a brutal war between South Africa’s greatest cities. Having visited Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town in the space of a few weeks, I am forced to ponder: Which one is at the top of the pecking order?

Hailing from Joburg, I had to rid myself of all bias against the city of plastic, leopard-print, straightened hair and shoppingmall syndrome. The city itself has been coined the ‘New York of Africa’, and believe you me: The big apple mentality has hit this place with a vengeance. In particular, the northern suburbs have seen major expansion and construction in the past three years. With 690 days to go until the start of 2010, the host city is revamping its polluted image. Shopping centres are sprouting up everywhere (hooray for the kugels!), while complex upon complex tempts buyers to purchase off-plan.

But do not be fooled by the high-pressured rat race; the bottom line is that the youth of Joburg work hard to play hard. The nightlife there is richer than it has ever been, and party-goers are only too delighted to shake it until dawn, freshen up and head straight back to work. Joburg really is a city of dreams – go there to make money, meet people and fight crime. My personal rating? Erm, I would miss beach bat too much [5/10] Flocking to the Durban July with the rest of the socialites was well worth the time spent away from the frosty Joburg winter and the flood-stricken shores of Cape Town. Having last been to Durban as a whining toddler, my memories of this city were not fond

ones. This time around however, it brought out its kindest, giving me enough reason to see why this is the city of sport and leisure.

East Coast Radio spent the entire week raving about surfing competitions, a comedy fair in Ballito and the oh-so glamorous Durban July horserace. Politics, money, rat race? Quite frankly, no one cares. The suburbs are strewn with quaint coffee shops, delicatessens and parks. The mentality there is decidedly ‘small-town’. And strangely, the luxury of upper-end Durban is a stone’s throw away from the culture and badly-kept buildings of the CBD. My rating? Beach bat and blonde guys = bonus. [6/10] And then there was one: imageconscious Cape Town. Common criticisms of the city harp on that exact point – that in Cape Town it’s image...or else. We all know that the southern-most tip of Africa is blessed with scenery out of a picture book; from the mountains to the world-class beaches to the winelands to the cosmopolitan CBD, Cape Town really does have it all. And who can deny that its people are beautiful? International modeling agencies devour local talent, whilst international celebrities buy homes and spend holidays here. But image seems to be where it ends. The ‘so much to do, so much to see’ mentality has left Capetonians devoid of personality and warmth. Lucky for UCT students, varsity provides a shelter from the iciness of Capetonians, allowing us students to enjoy the city without its attitude. My rating? Beach bat, blonde guys and Tin Roof = the best city in South Africa. [10/10]

Out of the frying pan…

Berndt Hannweg YES, we all know that the saying itself has been done to death, but it bears saying again (and again, and again): There is nothing like going from being a Big Fish in a Small Pond, to a Minnow in the Sea. Speaking (writing, really) as a first-year student, is a daunting experience. One moment, you’re in a (relatively) loving environment, where teachers are more or less responsible for making sure you pass Matric, and where the average person could presumably guess your name, and then WHOOSH – you’re at UCT, where you’re one in a million, another face in the crowd, and you’re back to square one. Except now, the work is harder, the competition fiercer, and you discover that your classes are now three miles apart.

At first, you experience the heady flavour of freedom: No parents breathing down your neck, no ancient, sadistic teachers wielding slide rules, scrupulously checking your homework. You’re free to party, to sleep until noon, to

eat one thousand chocolate bars for lunch (in theory) – free to do whatever the hell you want.

Of course, you’re also free to fail, to be excluded (feel the menace) and free to vanish into the swirling maelstrom that is tertiary education.

But once you hit that sweet spot between slavery and debauchery, the going can be pretty smooth. The subject matter is more engrossing than school ever was (unless, like me, you’re stuck doing MAM1002), and, since you technically have only four lessons a day and no (real) homework, life breezes by.

Which only leaves: mastering the Jammie Shuttle service, figuring out the location of each of your obscure lecture venues, developing calves the size of salamis, learning the order of precedence on the Jammie steps, never forgetting your umbrella no matter how sunny it is, realising that the Leslie building was designed by MC Escher, figuring out whether the rule books double as doorstops, and, finally, what it is that the Chancellor actually does.

Varsity

business

&technology

Fall of Goliath?

Extra! Extra! Don’t read all about it!

Image courtesy of thompsonsanitary.com

Rémy Ngamije discusses the slow death of the newspaper.

THE newspaper, one of the oldest forms of print media and source of news from both local and international sources, is perhaps facing its last years on the printing press.

A global decline in the sales and distribution of some of the world’s most established newspapers, such as The Washington Post and The New York Times, has been noticed for some years. It only captured the attention of investors and traders early this year as the credit-crunch experienced in the US began to hit advertisers – the chief and sometimes only source of revenue for newspapers around the world. This has led to a decrease in the printing viability of some publications and industry analysts are predicting a future in which newspapers are obsolete, replaced by the faster and cheaper Internet.

For the past eight years, print advertising has experienced a 14% yearly decrease in revenue with 2008 reaching an all-time low of 16.4%, translating to around US$ 2.3 billion worldwide according to global media analyst Boston Consulting Group (BCG). The loss of advertising revenue has resulted in newspaper publications cutting back on employment. The LA Times terminated 150 editorial positions, while The New York Times reduced the number of staff writers by 100. The US industry is not the only one currently underperforming. Loss of circulation and readership has made it to the UK and France as well, two nations with a well-established newspaper industry that has succumbed to the shift in consumer preference.

The rise of Internet advertising is considered to be one of the primary factors that has lured numerous firms away from the once overworked printing presses. The ease with which a pop-up advertisement can be created, as well as the dynamic, creative and fluid

aspects of online advertisements, is regarded as preferable to the static and constricted advertisements commonly found in newspapers.

Another crucial factor is the ability of Internet users to select what they want to read from a wide variety of sources. BCG suggests that it is the inability of large newspapers to generate enough original content that is crippling the newspaper industry, a fact that has been proven by the increased number of freelance journalists setting up Internet blogs concentrating on fixed subjects.

Conservation is another deterrent that is pushing readers and investors away from the printed sheets that were once so lucrative.

Online radio stations are now the more viable method of obtaining news with newspaper websites offering condensed sound recordings of newspaper content. Some news agencies, such as CNN, have launched an interactive iWitness website that allows anyone with a video camera to report news as it happens, a move that further increases the redundancy of news-

papers.

However, not everyone feels that newspapers can ever be completely replaced. Washington Post writers feel that the literature aspect and classic tradition of obtaining news from a newspaper will be its saving grace. The psychology of newspapers being the most accurate sources of news information is an argument posed against online news agencies, which many people may not trust since they can easily be spammed. Without any social or financial credibility behind many online news websites, well-established newspapers such as The Sunday Times may be able to continue churning out newspapers. It is a debate among media specialists that it is simply a matter of time before an online brand becomes a key player, revolutionising the way in which print media is viewed. Besieged on all sides, newspapers around the world continue to print, unsure whether there will be a market for tomorrow morning’s edition.

Curbing inflation expectations Sentlenyana Machaba THEY say that time is a healer; financial indicators would appear to have been contradicting this beloved epithet. The oil price continued to soar in past weeks – almost breaking the US$150/ barrel barrier. However, with the speculation of supply shortages having temporarily subsided, it has deflated somewhat and is trading at US$117/barrel.

In the context of the South African economy, times are getting harder. There is a 20% drop in new motor vehicle sales annually, PPI (producer price index) increase to 16.8% year after year, and house prices continue to plummet. The prime interest rate sits at 15.5% and the number of vehicle and home repossessions by banks is increasing. Consumers are without a doubt feeling the pinch.

Countrywide strikes by COSATU over sky-rocketing food and fuel prices have brought the severity of the domestic economic slowdown to the forefront.

The trend of the steady weakening of the rand against major currencies in the first two quarters of 2008 was recently overturned as the rand strengthened and broke the 7.50ZAR/US$ barrier.

This was on the back of global investor demand for the currency due to the higher yields generally available in emerging markets currently. However, before celebratory champagne bottles could

be uncorked, the CPIX figures were released in July indicating an 11.6% year-on-year inflation rate (up from the 10.9% inflation rate quoted for May 2008). This puts the inflation rate above its target band of 3-6% for the fifteenth month in a row and is speculated to induce another 50 basis point increase in interest rates when the Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) meets again in August.

The Reserve Bank (SARB) projects that inflation will peak at 12% in the third quarter of 2008. With this information being factored into their interest rate expectations, it would appear that SARB and investors alike could be correct in their predictions of August seeing the final rate hike in the downturn of this particular economic cycle.

Inflation in the last 18 months has been characterised by supplyside shocks (high energy and food prices) rather than by demand inflation (growth in consumer spending), indicating that the intention of the MPC’s strategy in raising interest rates has been to curb inflation expectations rather than reign in consumer spending.

The release of the latest CPIX figures was marred by controversy, however, with economists at Investec Asset Management (IAM) over-zealously accusing Stats SA of calculating errors, and hence overstating the inflation rate. Stats SA has refuted these accusations and unequivocally confirmed the

13

accuracy of their figures. The confusion has been caused by a recent announcement by Stats SA that it would be re-weighting and rebasing the basket prices of goods used in the calculation of the CPI, which will take effect on 1 January 2009. The re-weighting of goods is a process that takes place every five years and is in line with international standards. In a statement released by Stats SA regarding the proposed changes for the CPI goods’ prices, they revealed how the re-weighting was to take place: ‘Each indicator product in the CPI has a weight attached to it, which reflects its relative importance in the overall index…

The new weights see a shift from commodities to services with the significant changes affecting food, transport and miscellaneous categories.’ The weighting of food will be decreased from 26,6% to 20, 2% and the weighting of transport will be increased from 12,98% to 17,79%. Specifically, the weight for the purchase of motor vehicles has increased from 4,81% to 10,23%.

With the new weightings in place, inflation figures could be reduced by 1,5% - 2%, which would increase satisfaction among investors the world over.

Nevertheless, whichever way you look at it, re-weighting or not, for the average person on the street, the price of food is still drastically increasing – regardless of the official rate.

Mengfei Chen speaks about the current economic climate from an American point of view SOMETIMES, I wonder if a person living during the fin de siècle of the British Empire felt the same way I do as an American living in the 21st century. There is that feeling that maybe the nation’s best years are behind us and that the opportunities available to us as Americans are disappearing.

Ever since the European powers so obligingly bludgeoned each other into decline in two World Wars, all things American, from fast food to politics, have dominated. Behind all this, lay the American economy – all 13.3 trillion dollars of it.

Now it seems that American economic dominance and all the other types of dominances that it supported are coming to an end.

The Big Three; General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler, once symbols of America’s economic might, teeter on the verge of bankruptcy.

Foreign buyers eagerly snap up American institutions at fire sale prices. The growth rate slowed to a laggardly 1.9%, while the deficit grew to yet another alltime high. Unemployment rose to 5.7%, the highest level in years.

Everything from food and gas to health care and education costs more than ever. Americans are being battered from all sides and it shows in the polls. A recent Gallup poll revealed that only 6% of Americans are satisfied with the economy. Another showed that 87% believed the current situation would get worse. For the first time in a long time, the Americans are losing their collective confidence, with a significant number of Americans believing that their children’s living standards will be lower than their own.

Given these numbers, many

people, both in America and elsewhere in the world, predict America’s rapid and irreversible spiral into decline and irrelevance.

Newspapers teem with predictions of doom. Their headlines invariably seem to include, in all capital letters, words like ‘depression’ and ‘fear.’ Personally, I don’t believe that time is quite here yet. Even when it does arrive, America’s fall will never be as steep or complete as some have predicted.

There is no doubt in my mind that America’s relative dominance in relation to the rest of the world, has reached its peak.

Other nations, like India, China and Brazil, are growing rapidly and catching up. The European Union, despite some recent setbacks, looks to become an economic powerhouse. America will never be as far ahead of its peers again. Its disproportionate share (20%) of the world economy will shrink. The present situation was never really sustainable or even desirable on a whole range of levels.

I have no doubt that a transition from a uni-polar to a multipolar world economy is happening. This transition will bring moments of uncertainty and instability. There will likely be many problems, big and small, along the way. But change is inevitable and I, for one, am looking forward to it. Both the America and the world that will emerge from this will not be the same America and the same world that we have become used to. Hopefully, it will be better, wiser and more equal. Besides, it’s about time the world gave us a good run for our money.

The Column in the Corner Karl ‘I’m in trouble, aren’t I?’ Thomson THIS past week has been rather tumultuous, to say the very least.

When any week begins with the rushing of a friend to hospital at 2 am, you know you are in for just a downright shit week. My lungs are slowly but surely collapsing to the ravenous effects of tar and nicotine, and no matter how many times I plead with my Dunhill Lights packet to be nice to me, it still treats me like a red-headed stepchild. While this is to be expected somewhat, that little part in me hopes that smoking will one day have no negative effects and I can do it for as long as I please. Until that day, the road to my lungs will remain tarred and coughing will be a permanent fixture in my life This leads to my next point: Is discrimination against people who smoke fair? I am aware that by being a smoker, I can hardly exercise any objectivity on the matter, but still, I don’t enjoy the social status of a leper that accompanies lighting up dried up tobacco leaves.

Like most things, smoking is a choice through and through.

People decide to buy that first pack of Stuyvesant, cough the way through it and then get hooked on the sweet, sweet goodness of nicotine. Why people would do this is a mystery. Even I find it bizarre to pay R22 for 20 cylindrical objects that will reduce my life expectancy by a second each or whatever ridiculous figure people pull out of their backsides. Guilting someone won’t make them stop,

so don’t bother trying as more needless oxygen is being wasted.

Now I find myself completely off the point.

People choose to smoke or not to smoke, and whatever reason they provide is acceptable (except the kids who puff cigarettes outside Cavendish, they deserve to be kicked in the back of the head).

Therefore everyone has an equal right to smoke or not to smoke in any given situation. Now, that would be a delightful and clear-cut conclusion if it weren’t for the fact that second hand smoke has been brought into the equation. So, in fairness, people who don’t want to inhale smoke shouldn’t have to. But if you sit down next to me, outside, and complain about the smoke, you can take your opinion and shove it up your ass.

I’m noticing a disturbing trend where the smokers are being thrust into the corner of resturants, away from the ‘clean’ people, like we are lepers. We are given these pathetically small areas to eat in and they are never properly ventilated. So, instead of doing what the Brazilians do where they have huge extractor fans so that everyone can sit in the same area and smoke without bothering anyone, we are herded like cattle in a cage.

I have a right to be annoyed, and smokers should be annoyed about it. A paying customer has the same rights as every other paying customer, yet we get treated differently. This, my esteemed reader, treads on the very delicate line of prejudice. Even though these silly anti-tobacco laws are legislated, that doesn’t make them less prejudicial.

14 The best weight-loss Go for green programme ever!

Volume 67 Number 9

humour

Robin Scher

Anton Taylor serves up a diet of self-hate and amphetamines Photo courtesy of funnycoolvideos.files.wordpress

UPON returning to UCT to start this term, it suddenly became clear to me that I had become a fatty over the month-long vacation. Although I hadn’t noticed my increasing girth, my friends had, and I was soon being verbally abused by the same people I had sat with to abuse others. For a person who believes solely in the importance of aesthetic appearance, I was very disturbed to suddenly find myself on the other side of the fat fence. So, I spent hours researching the best way to lose weight, and have now created the ultimate weight-loss programme.

Although it will be explained on Oprah next week, it is being revealed for the first time here, in a VARSITY exclusive…

As you have often been told, not being a fat fuck is all in the mind. In order to shed those extra kilos, you need to be reminded how uncool obesity is. Here’s what to do: •Wear clothes from a time when you weren’t fat, and then walk across Jammie Plaza in your tightest top on a busy Thursday afternoon. Out of the corner of your eyes, look at the thin people snickering and commenting on your fatness as you waddle past.

In particular, try to get the attention of old Bishops boys, who usually actually point and shout obscenities at fat beasts.

•Try to befriend skinny, superficial girls who went to private schools (basically just girls who went to private schools then), and then realise that they will never be your friend so long as you don’t fit into age 8 - 9 children’s clothes.

While talking to them try to pick up tips on the correct post-meal chunder technique.

•Plaster your wall with posters of ripped guys from Men’s Health, and skinny girls from the Sports Illustrated Swimwear Edition.

•Constantly play Fashion TV on a massive projector above your bed. Look how truly happy and content thin people are.

•At all costs avoid people who perpetuate the age-old lie that ‘appearance doesn’t matter – it’s what’s inside that counts’.

•Do not listen to any music

by Mika and Freshlyground. It just makes you feel too God-

Picture courtesy of freakingnews.com

Motivation

ANYONE who was on campus last week will know that UCT was hosting the ambiguously titled ‘Green Week’. Although many saw this as an opportunity to visit the Indigenous Dread in Mowbray, the event had nobler intentions. In light of this great initiative to save the world and hug some trees, I thought I would provide some handy tips on how you can do your part in protecting the environment.

Handy Tip #1 Meeting at Bob’s place for a few social drinks is always fun, but what you don’t take into account, while littering the lawn with empty beer cans, is the potentially severe impact it may have on the environment. Instead of simply discarding these in the corner, a better alternative could be the construction of a decorative pyramid, that, depending on how ‘social’ it becomes, might touch the ceiling.

This way you are improving the aesthetics of your house and saving the environment.

Handy Tip #2 Carpooling is another great way of doing your bit for Mother

Nature. If a cop decides to stop you for cramming 12 people into your golf on the way to Claremont, let him know that this is not a drunken idea to get everyone to Tin Roof in one go, but a conscientious effort to reduce your ‘carbon footprint’.

Handy Tip #3 Although comforted by the soft yellow glow of traditional light bulbs, by turning those little bastards on, you are not only killing monkeys in the jungles of Guatemala, but also wasting precious electricity that is required to print all those anti-pollution flyers. As an alternative, install the handy ‘energy-saving’ bulbs – they use up a lot less power and also bask your room in a romantic ‘hospital-hue’.

Bumper-Handy Tip #4 A problem faced by many residents of digs is the issue of toilet paper, or lack thereof. If this was not enough cause for concern, another worrying matter that UCT students constantly endure is what to do with the rest of the VARSITY newspaper after they’re done with the Humour page. There seems to be a pretty obvious solution to these problems.

Bits n Pieces

Happiness is... being superthin damn good about yourself. (Note: destroy all copies of Big girls, you are beautiful and Potbelly) Diet •When you go out in the evenings, get as paralytic as possible. Although this will temporarily make you forget how fat and worthless you are (problematic), it will also make you unwilling to eat anything the next day, and might also help any bulimic tendencies you may want to encourage.

•Whilst marijuana and cocaine have both been know to aid weightloss, the ultimate diet supplement has to be Tik. This wonder-drug will not only make you work out for four days in a row without sleep, but also gets you lean and mean in no time! Side-effects can include irreversible mental damage, the desire to claw your eyes out, and death, but if you’re thin, who cares?! That lady from Requiem for a Dream turned out okay, right?

The VARSITY Humour page is a vehicle for expression.

The views expressed in the Humour section are not necessarily those of the advertisers or staff of VARSITY newspaper, or the University of Cape Town.

If this weeks’s Weight-Loss Program does not help you lose weight, just revert to the age-old tactic of cutting down others to divert attention from yourself. This throws people off your trail, and hides your bitter insecurities. Writing a cutting article about fat people usually helps.

The puzzle family in crisis

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Please note - All medical procedures carry some medical risk, before agreeing to undergo a procedure of this nature, you should ask your GP about all the possible side effects.

Varsity

South Africa have consistently been written off as no-hopers and, despite two World Cup and Tri-Nations successes

South Africa have consistently been written off as no-hopers and, despite two World Cup and Tri-

Photo courtesy of 22dropout-com

Photo courtesy of cache.daylife-com

Robbie Deans (above) - is South Africa’s biggest obstacle in their quest for Tri Nations glory and Graham Henry (below) - the inept coach at the helm of the All Blacks will still provide a tough challenge for the Boks.

Nations successes, the tag remains.

There are still detractors who claim that South Africa are not the ‘real’ World Champions because we did not play New Zealand or Australia in France ‘07.

With that in mind, what it will take to win the Tri-Nations is putting ourselves in their minds.

Whilst Graham Henry is a decent coach, he has often shown himself to be somewhat predictable and not a good selector of teams.

With some clever selections and tactics, the Springboks’ coaching staff should be able to highlight his weaknesses at home. With Australia, however, the Springboks were plagued by missed chances and ineffectual ball possession in their last encounter. Strong defence and better tactical coaching will go a long way in seeing off the Wallaby onslaught. Often, it will serve the Boks better to revert to forward-dominated play against them in order to shut down their backs.

De Villiers has shown that he has the team at his disposal to do the job. Ultimately however, what will decide this Tri-Nations is if the Boks respond to the criticisms leveled at them by the Australian and New Zealand press, and do the talking on the field. When they’re on form, no one will be able to hold them back.

DAniel freund

SOUTH Africa claimed their first test series win in England for 43 years on Saturday. Graeme Smith’s unflinching contribution of 154 not out, steered the Proteas to victory on a tense day in front of a boisterous crowd at Edgbaston. Chasing 281 in the final innings, South Africa began in assured fashion with McKenzie and Smith easing the total to 65 before Flintoff trapped McKenzie LBW for 22. This triggered a destabilising middle-order collapse with Flintoff as the catalyst.

The fiery Lancastrian troubled the South African batsmen throughout the match with his regulated aggression and unique capacity to extract steep bounce from a pitch, which otherwise played fairly true. At 93 for 4, England had a firm hold on the game. However, a combination of good fortune and sheer bloody-mindedness saw De Villiers and Smith construct an initiative-snatching partnership before a crowd demonstrating the sort of partisan support usually associated with football grounds.

De Villiers fell to a looping Panesar off-break with the score at 171, but Boucher joined Smith at the wicket and together they ratcheted up the remaining runs to record this famous success.

Much emphasis has been placed by both local and English commentators on the significance of this tour and, in particular, the test match series. South Africa will now leapfrog England into the number two spot in the ICC Test rankings, while England slips back into third position. As both sides have upcoming battles with Australia – South Africa have home and away series approaching and the next Ashes series is scheduled for the English summer of 2009 – this winter’s tour was viewed as the optimal time to make a statement of intent to the World Champions. South African’s have achieved this with a clinical effectiveness more typically associated with the Australian side. Though they have won the series with a brand of tough, skillful cricket, this South African side has been far from flawless. No batsmen or bowler can justifiably assert that they have been able to comprehensibly dominate their English

Photo courtesy of images.supersport-co-za

Rory Holmes tells us what the Springboks need to secure a victory at the Tri-Nations

South Africa shakes up history

Graeme smith - is writing himself into the history books following the Protea’s recent series win counterpart for the entirety of the series. Brilliant individual performances punctuate South African scorecards throughout the series.

Unfortunately, these contributions are sporadic and only serve to highlight the failures of others.

Although it is true that cricket is essentially a team game, it is composed of many critical individual struggles, and South Africa will have to identify these ‘games within a game’ preceding the Australia tour and devise strategies which see them consistently coming out on top.

For the English the way forward is less clear. On paper they are a formidable outfit. They couple a balanced batting line-up with a varied bowling attack. They do not have any glaring deficiencies as a team and apparently lack for nothing. The problems with the English side, I suspect, owe more to the psychological element of their make-up. Witness captain Michael Vaughan’s searing trough of form. A batsman of prodigious skill, he has been unable to compile a decent score the entire summer and consequently, it seems his own self-doubt has trickled down to those under him. England’s key players this series and looking to the future are unquestionably Kevin Pietersen and Andrew Flintoff. Pietersen is arguably the world’s premier batsman and is a

proven match winner. His mental strength is undeniable and he has the capability to claw England back from the direst of predicaments. However, doubts remain about his authenticity as a true team player and though he tirelessly seeks to quash the whispers, reiterating in literally every interview his desire to see England win, the careless manner in which he threw his wicket away on Friday is evidence that the rumours are not baseless. Flintoff is not so complicated. His love for the game is infectious and obviously has a positive effect. He is the beating heart of this English outfit and his commitment to the team’s cause is apparent. A hard-hitting batsmen and powerful fast bowler, he is intricate to the success of the side, and if they are to regain the Ashes next year, Flintoff will need to produce the sort of form which led him to be named Man of the Series in the epic 2005 Ashes contest.

One test remains. For England, it represents an opportunity to give some fresh players a chance. Vikram Solanki and Owais Shah have been tremendous in the County Championship and deserve to play. For South Africa it presents little more than an occasion to bask in the glory of their fine accomplishment and then turn their attention to the real challenge that awaits them.

The end of an era Tombara Ekiyor

IT ALL began on 2 July 2001, when tennis lovers the world over watched in awe as a barely-known, 19-year-old Swiss overthrew the legendary Pete Sampras, during what many thought would be a routine fourth round match on the grasses of Wimbledon. Although Roger Federer did not go on to win the title that year, it was clear that the world had just witnessed a legend in the making.

Two years later, he clenched his first Wimbledon title with a 7-6(75), 6-2, 7-6(7-3) defeat against Mark Philippoussis. After that, it was smooth sailing for Federer; he became the number one seed, was compared with the likes of Bjorn Borg and was (and most certainly still is) the force to reckon with on all surfaces, apart from clay.

On his way to clenching all four Grand Slam titles, the Swiss always met an obstacle in the form of Rafael Nadal. Since their first meeting in Roland Garros in the 2005 semi-finals, Nadal has proved his dominance on clay, even if Federer defeated him on

Photo courtesy of web.mit.edu

Counting chickens A LITTLE over two weeks ago, the international rugby press was going crazy after the Wallabies sensationally beat the All Blacks 34-19 in their dramatic Tri-Nations encounter in Sydney. It was New Zealand’s second loss on the trot and there was much talk of a shifting of powers and a metaphorical handing over of the baton.

The successor to the All Blacks would be the last team left standing between the Springboks and the Wallabies after their away tour to South Africa later this month.

The most recent demolition of Australia by New Zealand has, however, shown the flaws in this theory. Once again, rugby pundits were far too eager in predicting the demise of New Zealand as a Superpower, and were made to look foolish by the clinical dispatching of their Australian rivals.

Whilst there have been many chickens counted before the eggs have hatched in this recent debacle, I for one do not believe that the prediction of a new rugby force is all together too far fetched.

South Africa currently occupies a uniquely strong position. The Tri-Nations is still wide open for all three teams and all our remaining matches are to be played at home. Furthermore, New Zealand has shown themselves to be fallible and Pieter de Villiers, despite his many flaws, has unearthed a new crop of South African talent.

What remains to be seen, however, is if he will finally settle on a team that includes both the old guns and the new in the correct mix.

After this weekend’s matches, it is clear the result of the 2008 Tri-Nations will be decided in South Africa, with the Wallabies to play two tests here and the All Blacks one. The Springboks will have everything to play for – and everything to lose. A team is expected to win its home matches and after beating the All Blacks at home, South Africa can take the Tri-Nations trophy again after four years, if they manage to hold back the visitors.

So then, what will it take to win? The All Blacks are driven to win by a hugely unforgiving rugby public, a rich heritage and tradition of rugby excellence, and the knowledge that nobody’s position is safe when results aren’t being achieved. Australia, on the other hand, will be supremely motivated after being pigeon-holed as the ‘weaker’ Oceanic rugby team by the international press for so long.

Former Crusaders coach, Robbie Deans, is a canny tactician and will add a lot to their game-play and style, as the All Blacks found out.

15

sports

Rafael nadal - looking to take top spot every other surface. It seemed like the rivals had an understanding, and respected each other’s turf.

That was until 6 July, fighting exhaustion through rain and the

descending darkness, the 22-yearold Spaniard watched as Federer’s traitorous forehand hit the net succumbing to Nadal 6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (5), 6-7 (8), 9-7 in a riveting four hour, 48 minute-long epic.

Now it has been suggested that this defeat has been coming since they first met in the Wimbledon finals in 2006. Some have even gone so far as to say that Federer was bound by fate not to claim his sixth consecutive Wimbledon title. The comparison with Bjorn Borg, it seems, is what proved to be the Swiss’s downfall.

The fatalistic argument goes: The same way Federer has Nadal, the thorn in Borg’s side was John McEnroe. They both claimed their fifth Wimbledon titles by defeating their left-handed rivals. In turn, both were prevented by the younger men from being the first men since the 19th century to gain six consecutive Wimbledon titles.

This comparison does not disturb Roger Federer much though, he promises to come back next year to claim his title, but then again so did Borg and well, we all know he didn’t.

The watercube - South Africa’s swimmers will be hoping to challenge for medals in Beijing Lindi Brownell AFTER all of the hype surrounding the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, this much-anticipated event has finally begun. However, South Africa’s road leading up to the start has not been a smooth one. Not one corporate sponsor has stepped up to sponsor our athletes. The reason is no surprise. Typically, the South African teams’ sponsorship hopes have been marred by red tape.

The perpetrator behind this unfortunate lack of support is Sascoc (The South Africa Sports Confederation and Olympic Committee), an umbrella body that has, since its 2004 inception, attempted to control and maintain sport in this country. Attempted in the sense that ever since this Committee was formed, it has been nothing but a nuisance to the local sporting world. The fact that our teams’ have struggled this year in particular is distressing; as 2008 marks the moment when South Africa travels to the Olympics with the largest team it’s ever had.

On a lighter note, there are some great events to look out for in the upcoming month.

Swimming is arguably one of the highlights of the Olympic schedule and our green-and-gold tadpoles are ready to dive in. The Men’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay on 10 August gives South Africa a chance to grab for gold, and only two days later, Ryk Neethling will have a chance to relive his renowned performance in Athens.

On the athletics front, Norman Dhlomo and Hendrick Ramaala will run the Men’s Marathon on 24 August, and if the celebrated Khotso Mokoena qualifies for the Men’s Long Jump on the 16th, South Africa may get to see him mount the podium later in the competition.

For this country, the Beijing Olympics is a mixture of good and bad. It is a shame to think that we have talented athletes who have no sponsors. One just hopes that performances won’t be affected and that our sportsmen and women will come home with medals on their necks and the glory that they deserve.

Will Clerke

WHEN the players of the most eagerly awaited sporting competition in the world, watched by over a billion globally, enjoy a muchdeserved break on their yachts or in the casinos of Monte Carlo, the managers of the English Premier League engage in a phenomenon known as the ‘Silly Season’.

Why is it called the ‘Silly Season’ you ask? Well, whilst regular consumers are tightening their belts (perhaps forgoing their beloved daily ‘Chicken Noodle, please’ to save that little extra cash for Oblivion quiz night), Premier League managers are distinctly loosening theirs. In scenes which often resemble a Monday morning on the New York Stock Exchange, they spend ridiculous amounts of money on players whilst generally failing to shore up any weaknesses that they may have displayed the season before. So what have the managers and teams been up to this time around? Who stands to gain from this year’s ‘Silly Season’?

Well, in suitably predictable fashion, the immature prima donna that is the precociously talented Cristiano Ronaldo has filled up the majority of this ‘Silly Season’s’ tabloid inches. The poor boy (apparently on £120 000 a week) reportedly wants to move away from dreary Manchester to spend his ‘hard-earned’ cash in the nightclubs and brothels of Madrid. The conclusion of this off-season cliff-hanger is certainly not difficult to call. Whilst many of the glory-hunting Manchester United supporters have gloomily and ignorantly expected Ronaldo to leave, the reality is that even if Real Madrid manage to cough up the staggering fee of over £75 million for his services (which one doubts they have), it is highly unlikely that United will sell the talisman of their successes last season.

The other surprisingly highprofile drama of the ‘Silly Season’ revolves around the exploits of the somewhat unremarkable foot-

season Photo courtesy of lh4.ggpht-com

Photo courtesy of treehugger-com

Olympic spon- Silly sorship woes

rAFA BENITEZ - Liverpool fans will be hopeful following his summer signings baller that is Gareth Barry, and the resulting feud between Liverpool and Aston Villa. As Liverpool prepare to put in their sixth bid for the player (a dramatically overpriced £18 million), one has to wonder why Rafael Benitez, who has loosened his belt somewhat literally this off-season, has such a fetish for central midfielders in a team that already boasts the talents of Gerrard, Mascherano and Alonso. The tubby Spanish tactician has, however, pulled off probably the coup of the summer, in the signing of influential Spur’s striker, Robbie Keane – even for the inflated fee of £20 million.

Partnered with the world’s best striker, Fernando Torres, it is certainly possible to see Liverpool challenging for their first title in a painstakingly long 19 years.

By their normal incredibly tacky standards, Chelsea has stayed relatively drama-free this ‘Silly Season’ so far. Armed with by far the biggest cheque book in the League, new manager Louis

Felipe Scolari has bought only two players, in his quest to bring trophies and, seemingly more importantly, ‘vodka and style’ to Stanford Bridge. The weak link that was the right back position will be filled by the impressive José Bosingwa, whilst Scolari has brought the little Portuguese general, Deco, to England to add much-needed vision and finesse to the Chelsea midfield. His import poses two important questions: Can the often cumbersome and physically underwhelming Deco survive in the rough-and-tumble league of England, and, if so, who, between Lampard, Essien and Ballack, will occupy the remaining two positions available in the midfield triangle? It seems likely that once again, tantrums will be flying around West London this season. Especially if cry-baby Didier Drogba stays.

Finally, what of the other teams this ‘Silly Season’? It is difficult to see Arsenal fans having many reasons to celebrate, yet again. Manager Arsene Wenger has added relatively little to a squad which was manically screaming for reinforcements last season. As far as the others go, it’s more of the same: Getting to a great position one year and then losing key players to the bigger clubs. Tottenham, having lost captain Keane, looks set to lose Berbatov as well. Blackburn have lost Bentley, Portsmouth lost Muntari to Inter Milan and Everton will lose Andy Johnson to Fulham. And whilst Real Madrid and Barcelona’s reserve teams are permitted to compete in the lower leagues in Spain, Tottenham again appear to have gone one better by entering theirs in the Premier League, cunningly disguised as Sunderland, with the mediocrity of Steed Malbranque, Teemu Tainio and Pascal Chimbonda. As far as the new boys are concerned, it’s difficult to foresee the likes of Hull or Stoke doing anything other than going back down to a league where quite frankly, teams of their stature really belong.