Sports 15 February 2011
Volume 70: Number 1
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varsitynewspaper.co.za
Warning: SAX may be hazardous to your health
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In this Issue
News
Pasqua Heard and Stephanie Venter IN SEPARATE incidents, two irst-year UCT students were injured while selling UCT RAG’s (Remember and Give) annual magazine, SAX Appeal, during the morning of Thursday 10 February. Both students are expected to recover from their injuries, and both drivers stopped at the scene to provide their details.
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Opinions
The second student, a female, suffered a concussion after being knocked down by a car at the corner of Liesbeek Parkway and Durban Road at approximately 9am. She was taken to hospital in an ambulance and released later in the day following medical assessment.
To Tweet or not to tweet,
SAX Appeal is sold annually in various areas in Cape Town to raise funds for UCT’s Students Health and Welfare Centres Organisation (SHAWCO), the largest studentrun non-proit organisation in southern Africa. These areas, each known as a ‘depot’, have a depot manager organised by RAG to advise students on road safety.
that is the question?
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Features
RAG has declined to comment on the incidents. However, Patricia Lucas of the UCT Media and Communications Department provided assurance that all students who witnessed the accidents have received appropriate trauma counselling.
SAX Appeal’s theme this year was ‘SAX Fantasy’ and students were encouraged to dress accordingly. Though the theme remained open to students’ interpretations, the SAX Appeal website suggested students “dress up, or better still, dress down.” Many took this advice, with low-cut tops, bare
road
registration
The irst incident involved a male student and occurred at the intersection of Kromboom Road and Jan Smuts Drive at approximately 6am. According to witnesses, a car was changing lanes when the student was struck. He suffered a compound fracture to his leg and is recovering from two surgeries to correct the injury.
Apart from the accidents involving UCT students, SAX Appeal experienced few hiccups this year. The event ran from approximately 5am until 9:30am; the amount raised has yet to be released.
long
A moment on the lips a life time on the hips! SELLING SAX – While many enjoyed it, the day was over shadowed by two accidents involving students.
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Picture: michael.currin.co.za
male torsos and female midriffs on the day. Several male students also braved the streets of Cape Town in leotards.
of them were sober, which was great, because none had to be sent home.”
Jade Spence, a student depot manager at the Campground and Belmont trafic lights, was impressed with the students that came to her station, saying, “All
Though mostly sober, many found at intersections in the Southern Suburbs said they had not slept at all before the event, having been in places such as Long Street the night before selling SAX
Appeal. Kate Wills, a student from Cape Town, explained, “You have to keep energised to enjoy it,” something many tired students were not able to do. Some of those who failed to maintain high energy levels were seen lying on the pavement at the Dean Street intersection in Newlands towards the end of the event.
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News
UCT under construction SRC a member short Lyndall Thwaits and Stephanie Venter THE STUDENT Representative Council (SRC) starts 2011 off a member short following the withdrawal of Kodwa Cengimbo from UCT at the end of 2010. Cengimbo, a irst-year Bachelor of Science student majoring in Electrical and Computer Engineering, successfully ran for a place on the ifteen-member SRC in August 2010. Running under the Democratic Alliance Students’ Organisation (DASO) banner, Cengimbo was allocated the Sports and Recreation portfolio in September. Cengimbo’s withdrawal leaves a vacancy on the SRC which has yet to be illed. “The SRC has not as yet come to a decision about how it will handle the Administration ofices open for business. FACELIFT – UCT’s billion rand construction plans will give a new look to much of the campus. Picture: garethsmit.com
Stephanie Venter UCT PLANS to spend almost a billion rand on construction over the next two years. The planned projects include, amongst others, extensive renovations to the Chancellor Oppenheimer Library and other buildings, the construction of a “super” residence in Observatory, a School of Economics and Student Administration building on Middle Campus, and extensions to the Snape Building for Engineering and the Built Environment. Many of these Capital Expansion (Capex) projects – as they are known at UCT – are either already underway or complete. Particularly noticeable thus far is the major organisational overhaul of the
Chancellor Oppenheimer Library, which forms part of the planned renovations to the facility. The aim of the project is to refurbish, refurnish, and rebuild the library with the vision of modernising one of UCT’s most important sources of information, says Deputy Director of Libraries, Diana Hurter. While renovations may cause disruption in the interim, far more desk space for all students will be created through the moving of books and journals to use the space more effectively, adds Hurter. An example of this is the condensing of the Short Loans section to make way for a spacious and versatile area to be used as a group study hub. Separate faculty desks are also a thing of the past, making way for a
centralised information desk to be located at the heart of the library. Here assistants will provide quick answers and act as a link to specialist librarians, which will streamline the research process. The irst phase of renovations was, at the time of going to press, expected to be complete by Monday 14 February, with all renovations due by the end of April. A further project planned for later this year will extend the research facilities in the African Studies Library. Also nearing completion is the Middle Campus development project, which includes a new School of Economics Building and new Student Administration facilities. The project will cost R158 million and is already partially in use, with the Student
The School of Economics is expected to be complete by April. The building will also feature a memorial designed to “commemorate the history of dispossession that took place on the site,” says Mologadi Makwela, of UCT’s Communications and Marketing Department. In addition to these, construction on an 800+ student residence in Observatory has already begun, and is expected to open for the irst semester of 2012. Provisionally known as “Obz Square”, the residence comes at a cost of R485 million and is “the single biggest investment in UCT history,” according to Makwela. The residence will house 887 students in single rooms, each with their own en-suite shower and basin. One hundred kitchens will be itted, each shared between eight students, and the seven storey
vacancy as per the options laid out in the constitution. This decision will be made at an SRC meeting in due course, well before Student Assembly, and will be communicated to all stakeholders,” said SRC President Amanda Ngwenya in a statement to VARSITY. Starting the year a member or two short is not unusual for an SRC. The SRCs of 2009 and 2010 respectively each lost three members at the beginning of their terms. While the 2009 SRC chose not to co-opt new members and instead split the vacant portfolios amongst themselves, 2010’s SRC co-opted two new members to ill the three vacant portfolios. A date for Student Assembly has yet to be set.
building will also boast shops on the ground loor. The extra accommodation will allow “more students from diverse backgrounds to live together,” says Makwela, adding that the project was born from the university’s recognition of the limited space currently available in residences. Additions to the Snape Building for Engineering and the Built Environment are currently under construction and will cost the university approximately R167 million. Other projects include, but are not limited to, the renewal of the UCT access system (currently in progress, expected to be complete by the end of June), the modernising of various lifts on campus, the rerooing of the Otto Beit Students’ Union, the Mathematics Building, and sections of PD Hahn, as well as the relocation of the ICTS main ofice to Main Road, Rondebosch (completed).
Pimp My Book wins National Award THE UCT-FOUNDED business Pimp My Book was recently awarded irst place in the South African Breweries Limited (SAB) Entrepreneurship Development programme, SAB Kickstart. With humble beginnings in a dormitory in a UCT residence in 2006, Pimp My Book now operates in four universities across the Western Cape, with further opportunities for growth. Mpodumo Doubada, managing director of Pimp My Book, was delighted to receive the award saying, “It shows how important education is in the current economy. It is important and it calls for all public and private sectors to partner in making it affordable for all, and Pimp My Book is one of the solutions that is making it possible.” Doubada thanked all the students in the country and speciically those from UCT in acknowledgement of Pimp My Book’s origins. “Our UCT branch remains our most important,” said Doubada. The award included a trophy and asset grants intended to assist
Pimp My Book with future growth. Growth is certainly on Pimp My Book’s agenda, says Doubada, explaining that he hopes to open branches at the Stellenbosch University in the near future, and eventually expand to the University of Pretoria as well. Additionally, the company has already explored distribution channels with the vision of opening an online bookstore to cater for students all over the country. By working closely with UNISA – who currently has over 300 000 registered students – Pimp My Book hopes to reach even more students through the online buyand-sell portal.
“ Our
UCT branch remains our most important
“
Lyndall Thwaits and Stephanie Venter
Pimp My Book was founded with the belief that textbooks, which are essential tools to students, should be accessible and affordable for everyone, said Elvis Sekhaolelo, a consultant to the company, in a statement to VARSITY. The rising cost of textbooks is not a problem unique to UCT and thus Pimp My Book has many opportunities for
potential growth, he added. Through Pimp My Book, students are able to trade in textbooks they no longer need and buy textbooks previously traded in by other students. This often drastically reduces the cost of textbooks, and provides a convenient way for students to sell their old textbooks. Jojo Kyababa, a irst-year Bachelor of Commerce student in Information Systems, said that while she had not yet had a chance to use Pimp My Book’s service, a friend had recently told her that she was able to buy three of her required textbooks from the company at a much lower cost, and had thus saved a lot. “If the books are not in bad condition, I would be more than happy to buy my textbooks from Pimp My Book,” said Kyababa. SAB KickStart aims to promote youth entrepreneurs with the vision of alleviating poverty and unemployment through their business adventures. More than 3 200 small businesses have been established through the SAB’s total investment of R51 million in grant funding in the programme.
WINNER – Pimp My Book managing director Mpodumo Doubada Picture: Pimp My Book is pleased with the recent award win.
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News
Registration on-the-go Lauren-Kate Stewart
faculty, who “rolled it over to the Humanities and Law faculties,” explains Devar Pillay, Faculty Manager for Commerce. Pillay estimates that about four to ive hundred Commerce students used fast-track registration, adding that “it went well, and a lot of students were surprised.”
THIS YEAR the Commerce, Humanities and Law faculties implemented a new, faster and easier way for returning students to register: fast-track registration. “Fast-track registration is an experimental procedure to speed up the registration process,” says Richard Mendelsohn, the Deputy Dean of Undergraduate Affairs. It allows second, third and fourth year students, who do not require curriculum advice and have no problems selecting or continuing with their chosen majors or degree programs, to register swiftly, explained Mendelsohn. Students were informed of this new registration option via an SMS web link during the vacation. Those choosing to take advantage of the fast-track registration option were directed to the UCT website where they could download the appropriate registration form, complete it electronically, and then e-mail it to their faculty. By eliminating a step of the registration process, fast-track registration allowed students to skip the wait in queues to see a curriculum advisor, and go straight to the Dean’s table. “Fast-track is so
“It is a teething process… and there were a few hiccups, but very few,” says Pillay, who assured that there will be an improved system next year. The initiative not only helped students, but also helped the advisors, who were given more time and could look over each degree programme more effectively, said Pillay.
NOT FOR LONG – Students can enjoy quicker registration with the new fast-track registration option. Picture: michael.currin.co.za
easy,” says third-year Humanities student Carmen Anderson. “Just pass the long queue outside Jammie Hall, go to the fast-track registration table, check and sign your forms, go to the Dean, and then to data capture.”
to register had to wait in a ifty metre-long line before entering the building, explained Anderson. Students would have had to arrive at registration at least a half an hour before their allocated time to avoid queues, she added.
registration wish more procedures like this would be implemented. Stephen Bydawell, a third-year engineering student said, “A process that took me four hours could have easily taken only half an hour with fast-track!”
Humanities students who did not use fast-track registration option
Students from other faculties not offering the option of fast-track
The idea of fast-track registration was born in the Commerce
News Bites MUBARAK FLEES, HANDS POWER TO MILITARY CAIRO – Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak has stepped down from power after 18 days of continual civilian protests calling for his resignation. Handing over power to the military, Mubarak and his family are reported to have left Cairo, in a move that signals the end of the president’s 30-year reign. Cairo’s Tahrir Square – the epicentre of the protests – lit up with ireworks and cries of “Egypt is free” following Mubarak’s departure.
PROSECUTOR “BIASED” AGAINST ASSANGE
Lyndall Thwaits THE CITY of Cape Town’s new alcohol by-law is under review after concerns were raised by members of the public. The bylaw, which was due to take effect at midnight on 31 December 2010, is seen by the City as a necessary measure to curb the alcohol abuse crisis it faces in residential and business areas. The new by-law brings changes to the legal alcohol trading hours in the city. When enacted, the selling of alcohol in clubs, bars, and restaurants outside the hours of 11am to 2am will be prohibited. Stores in residential areas will only be permitted to sell alcohol between 9am and 6pm.
CYCLONE RIPS QUEENSLAND WEEKS AFTER HEAVY FLOODS
Previously clubs, bars, and restaurants were allowed to sell alcohol from 10am until 2am, with an option to continue trading until 4am, while stores’ liquor trading hours were 8am until 8pm.
WRECKAGE – Coastal towns suffered most in the cyclone. Picture: Getty Images
LATE APPLICANTS CAUSE TRAFFIC JAMS AT UJ JOHANNESBURG – The University of Johannesburg’s decision to allow late applications for 2011 led to major trafic jams surrounding the university in January. The large number of late applicants was due to an increase in university endorsements obtained in 2010, the university later said. Late applicants were all given application forms, however “some were still upset because they thought that they could arrive at the university and register; it just doesn’t work like that,” said university spokesperson Herman Esterhuizen.
However, all departments involved were “satisied” and happy with the outcome of the process, stated Pillay.
Cape Town Liquor Law under review
LONDON – Lead prosecutor Marianne Ny is biased against WikiLeaks founder and sexual assault-accused Julian Assange, a London court heard last week. Retired appeal court judge Brita Sundberg-Weitman stated the accusation in court during Assange’s deportation trial last week; Ny denies the allegation. The trial, which began on Monday 7 February and lasted two days, is to determine if Australian-born Assange should be deported to Sweden, where he is wanted for questioning regarding allegations of sexual assault.
QUEENSLAND – Already hard hit by months of heavy looding, Queenslanders are beginning to pick up the pieces after Cyclone Yasi hit the town on Thursday 3 February. Considered the largest cyclone in Australia’s history, the cyclone touched land at approximately midnight and brought with it heavy rains and winds of up to 290km/h. The affected areas were described as a “war zone” by Australia’s deputy Prime Minister Wayne Swan, who said the damage was worse than he had expected.
While fast-track registration resulted in many students facing a far quicker registration process, students who have problems with their majors, and credit or course accumulation, cannot participate in this process. Fast-track currently cannot become a completely online process due to the fact that the majority of students need the assistance of a curriculum advisor, Mendelsohn said.
CURBED – The new liquor law promise shorter trading hours. Picture: garethsmit.com
the highest formal incidence of alcohol and drug abuse of any city in South Africa, and the new bylaw constitutes a part of the City’s strategy to address the scourge of alcohol abuse,” said Cape Town Mayor Dan Plato.
Disobedience of the new law will result in a ine of up to R 30 000, a prison sentence of up to three years, or both. The by-law was approved by the municipality on 28 July 2010, after which the public was allowed a period of time to respond.
The proposed by-law has received both positive and negative feedback from industries, businesses, and the public. Amongst the concerns raised is the damage that could be done to Cape Town’s image as a tourist destination should the law lead to a decline in the liquor trade, often seen as a draw card for tourism.
A recent press release from the City of Cape Town re-iterates the hope to curb alcohol abuse through the new by-law. “Cape Town has
However, this is not the view of many people. Siviwe Miuyi and Aadielah Maker from the Phuza Wize (Drink Safe, Live Safe)
campaign said in a statement, “We are in a crisis: our alcohol-related deaths [are] eight times the global average for men, and ive times over the average for women. We are baring the cost of consumption as a country and we feel tourists would appreciate our control over alcohol, their primary purpose is not to drink.” However, for businesses, clubs, and bars that largely rely on liquor sales to keep their customers coming back and their businesses running, limited trading hours could prove a challenge. Despite the by-law having gone back to the drawing board, the City remains conident that it will eventually be fully implemented.
News
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Big Bash seizes Greenmarket Square the area was blocked off to allow for the construction of the stage and surrounds. Similarly, day traders were prevented from working on Friday to allow for construction of the stage and bar venues. Local residents, too, were vaguely upset at the organisation of the event. Security – while very thorough – made it difficult for the residents of nearby apartments and hotels to get into their respective homes without going through security first. Once home, residents had to deal with loud music from the concert below.
In terms of bringing first-year students together, generating revenue from said students for the UCT-run non-profit organisation, and putting on a show for them, the Big Bash seems at time of writing to have been a qualified success – and the seemingly tireless dedication of RAG members is largely responsible. RAG’s Big Bash event is held annually with the aim of raising funds for the Students Health and Welfare Centres Organisation (SHAWCO). All profits from the event are donated to SHAWCO.
FIST PUMPING – Concert goers were entertained by acts such as Crazy White Boy, DJ Kent, DJ Milkshake and DJ Tira Pictures: michael.currin.co.za
Liam Kruger ON FRIDAY 11 February UCT RAG (Remember and Give) capped off its week of introductory events with Big Bash, held this year at Greenmarket Square. The majority of the attendees were first-year students, and those commuting from Lower Campus were able to make use of the new, air-conditioned Springbok Atlas fleet, arriving in Adderly Street in the city centre. Event goers were then led to the venue by a breadcrumb trail of neon-orange wearing RAG volunteers, themselves flanked by security guards from the Eyethu Events company.
Queried members from RAG and Eyethu were uncertain as to the exact number of staff present, but estimated that at least 60 RAG members were volunteering that evening, and around 120 security guards were employed, city traffic forces notwithstanding. The evening was by and large a good one for many, with the various performing artists and DJs well-received as the evening wore on, and the bar – managed by Purple Turtle – was at no point wanting for customers. Polled attendees were, if not enthusiastic about the music, pleased about the location and
organisation of the event, and the opportunity to socialise en-masse. However, some irritation was voiced by local residents and restaurant owners around the peripheries of the square. The manager of Mumbo Jumbo Café & Bar reported that no information was given about the stage arrangements when they and other renters were asked to vote on whether Big Bash could take place near their premises. As such, some store managers found themselves losing business, both in the evening as they had the back of the stage obstructing the restaurants, and during the day, as
My Life As a Social Worker You’re stuyding now – but what comes after? This week, we delve into the world of social work.
Focus: Abdul Raof Ryklief
for damaged youth in need of hardcore therapy.
What’s it like, day-today?
B Soc Sc (Social Work) UCT Counseling is only one aspect 1999, honours in 2009 Social of social work. At Nicro, one Policy and Management day I was counseling, the next day I'd be running around in the mountains; the next day I was How did you get visiting the National Prosecuting Authority; the next day I was meeting with a judge. started? As a social work student, you hit the ground running from day one. It's not a career for someone who wants to take a long time to get acquainted with social problems. Practicals you do in your first year give you priceless experience. While studying, I was placed at the Jewish Sheltered Employment Centre, helping to counsel people with mental disabilities, and have also worked with Communicare and the Habiba Girls Children's Home.
What do you consider your biggest achievement so far?
Developing Nicro’s Journey programme. It’s aimed at highrisk youth: we take them out of their environment for six days, and give them the opportunity to talk about their pain. We do a number of team-building exercises, and involve physical activities and group work. Part Where did you work of one's work as a social worker is to deal with their tribulations and to help people overcome after studying? them in a way that allows them I worked for Nicro (National to move forward. There is a lot Institute for Crime Prevention of responsibility but the work is and the Reintegration of very rewarding. Offender). It was the best job anyone could dream of, especially as a graduate. I got to go hiking What keeps you busy and got paid for it! Nicro runs a host of programmes aimed at these days? criminals and young offenders. I was instrumental in developing I work with the Mintin School the Journey Programme, a six- of Development Studies doing day wilderness programme training, and with Community
Chest to alleviate poverty by adding human value and resource to make a positive impact on the community. We raise money and invest it into non-profit organisations in the social development sector. My job here is to apply my social work knowledge and experience and assess various funding applications. I also monitor and evalutate organisations to make sure they are fulfilling their goals. I also work as a training coordinator.
What challenges have you encountered? I love the work and am excited about the profession. It’s tough at times but very rewarding. But I am concerned about the profession because we are short of about 60 000 workers – so if you study social work, you will get a job! In South Africa, the two main social work sectors are government and the NPO (nonprofit organisation). You won’t start with a large salary, but over time you will definitely see an increase.
Any advice? What I love about social work is that if you apply yourself you can do anything, from working in schools and organisations to working in large companies doing recruitment. Get as much experience as you can from the word “go”!
What’ll you do once you leave cozy confines of UCT? If you need help figuring out your next steps, the Career Development Programme is your one-stop shop for all things the future! Whether you need help with your CV, interview prep, skills development, useful info on companies that are hiring, or developing your own plan of action, CDP can help you find your own path.
Hot opportunities Looking for a bursary / scholarship, vacation or graduate opportunity for 2011? Visit www.careers.uct.ac.za/careerportal Over 100 opportunities available online now.
Editorial
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VARSITY NEWSPAPER Senior Editorial Staff READER DISCRETION ADVISED
Black according to Channel O For many years, I’ve been annoyed with being accused of trying to be white. People say I’m black on the outside, but white on the inside. You know, the "coconut" syndrome. What does that mean? That I am “rejecting” my own black culture, and choosing instead to fashion myself after my white counterparts. Supposedly, I do this by speaking and dressing “like a white person,” by listening to “white” music, by keeping company with more white people than I do with black people, and by doing activities that they consider to be “white”. But who made this delineation? Who decides what things are “black”? What is black culture? Is it really what Channel-O tells me it is -- video hoes and tons of money? Speaking slang? 22-inch rims on my Cadillac? Where is it written that I, as a black man, must conform to this image? Am I less of a black person because I prefer sushi over samp? Am I less black because I don’t speak my mother tongue all day? Because I don’t eat tripe or chicken feet? Because I’m not a huge fan of house music? Because I’m wary and critical of the ANC? Some people might think so. I'd rather write my own dictionary.
NKOSIYATI KHUMALO is the Deputy Editor of VARSITY newspaper.
Bright and Shiny 2011!
Toy Soldiers WHEN I was in halfway though my irst year at UCT, I found myself feeling very confused about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I relected on my university and degree choices and ended up in the Career Development Programme (CDP) ofice. Upon illing in a form about my ambitions, I landed upon a question which went along the lines of, “If you could be anything in the world, what would you be?” At irst I thought what a stupid question, “Why wouldn’t I be, what I wanted to be?” But then I realised if my career path was all dandy, what was I doing in the CDP ofice in the irst place? A large part of me has always wanted to be in the army. Yes, the army, wearing unattractive green, training for a war, I hope would never happen but willing to defend my country and her people should the situation arise. I think there is no greater honour than to serve your country, be it playing for a national team, being part of the defence forces or working as a doctor in a government hospital. So, why haven’t I joined the army? Well, because of toy soldiers. They are the people kitted out in authority, who have vowed to serve and honour, yet go to extreme lengths to defy the very oath they once proudly declared. With their hands on their hearts most of these people walk into institutions like the army with the greatest of intentions, but succumb to temptations of power. Once in, like my favourite Shakespearean villian Macbeth, they are “in blood, stepped in so far that should they wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o’er.” I’ve made peace with not being in the Zimbabwean army, but I haven’t made peace with the fact there are toy soldiers everywhere! In every single body that has been established to help, protect, lead, or serve people, you will always ind at least one toy soldier. They are always so charming when they run for election, promising the world yet delivering so little, that often, we simple plebs, are better off without them. Since then I igured well I might as well stick to getting an education, I’ll have a normal job and 2.4 kids, and everything will be ine. In orientation week you hear all about how you’re the crème del a crème of students in the country, in the continent even. You are amazing, and you’re going to take over the world blah, blah, blah …
A HAPPY and warm welcome to all UCT returning students and staff, and a special welcome to our Freshers! Be proud to be a part of the best university in Africa, one of the top 150 in the world! Only the very best have been selected. You are part of the cream of the crop. Oh yeah! I hope that you will do UCT, and yourselves, proud. However, do remember, that an A in highschool does not necessarily equal an A at university. The work is tough but rewarding. Don’t place too much pressure on yourself to be the top of the class. Many a motivation has turned into a nervous breakdown instead, thanks to undue pressure from none other than yourselves!
What they fail to tell you is that an education doesn’t guarantee the success we often think of, when we register for the irst time. An education doesn’t always equal the moon, sometimes it’s the very thing that holds you back, because all you become is the blue scroll you receive on graduation day. Anyone can get that blue scroll, sure not everyone has the grades or the money, but a fair amount of people do, and when you’re accepted into university, you’re accepted with thousands of other applicants. UCT does a good job of cutting out the fat and dead weight and leaving only the most pristine A-grade students for graduation day. Therefore, if all goes according to plan in three or four years time you’ll stand on Jameson plaza; no different from the other hundred graduates in your ield, with your blue scroll. But I still have a problem. I have a degree, but so does Robert Mugabe, in fact he has seven, and this is not including his honourary degrees, and yet he can’t see past his own arrogance (something that is almost always married to being an “educated” person). It seems, the more we know, the less the act like it, and the more foolish our actions become. It’s a great tool this education thing, but if you’re not careful it can be a curse and you’ll end up being just another toy soldier.
A few words of advice - balance your life between work and play. Love, laugh, party hard, enjoy yourself, have fun, but remember to get to your tuts /sems on time, and for goodness sake, hand in your essays! Hope you have a great year! Peace, harmony, love.
CANDICE NEWTON is the Copy Editor of VARSITY newspaper.
newsgathering newsgathering Tuesday, 15 February Meridian, LS2D
2011 collective editor Nyasha Kadandara deputy editor Nkosiyati Khumalo copy editor Candice Newton news Stephanie Venter & Lyndall Thwaitts opinions Tiffany Mugo & Berndt Hannweg features Marché Arends & Thandokazi Hlwatika sport Tarryn Steenekamp images Gareth Smit & Jessica Christie photographers Zakareeya Pandey, Lorna Rae Daniels, Michael Currin web Azhar desai human resources Caterina Aldera & Chido Mpemba advertising Sizwe Moagi marketing team Rémy Ngamije
So after everything I’ve said, you are probably wondering why I’m still enrolled at UCT? For the party of course! Okay not a party, but for the experience. A fulilling university experience full of good times is something I fully endorse. Spend your time on this campus wisely, gaining the skills organisations such as Shawco, WineSoc and the Paintball Society offer in order to survive in the real world. Learn about yourself, learn about people! Grab every opportunity that comes your way. Be a better person, less of a ickle fellow. Don’t get involved in councils where people take themselves too seriously and want to have meetings in a moot court, they are toy soldiers in training. And if you’re already in one of those councils, get out before we pull a Mubarak on you. Get a real life, not just the blue scroll. Being part of VARSITY Newspaper, has changed my life, not in Eat-Pray-Love kind of way, but in a I’m making my mark on the world kind of way. So make your mark before the VARSITY staff expose you for your toy-soldier-like tendencies! Ciao
NYASHA KADANDARA is the Editor of VARSITY newspaper.
staff writers Calvin Scholtz, Alexander Child, Aimee Dyamond, Pasqua Heard, Michelle October, Cara-Leigh Sheperd, Thabang Letheo, Thato Mabusdusha, Andrew Giliam, Liam Kruger external contributors Byron Ascott-Evans, Nicholas Corbett, Gina Edmonds, Rachel Botsis, Nicola Lazenby, Michael Mpofu, Ehrard Vermaak, Lauren-Kate Stewart, Louis Pienaar
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Opinions
Snakes, Baboons and Tea Parties “How do you know words mean anything?” – Gunman Jared Loughner to Giffords four months prior to the Tucson shooting. “She appointed half her sex boys into the Western Cape provincial cabinet to keep them close enough to satisfy her wellevolved wild whore libido.” – MKMVA Chairman Kebbey Maphatsoe on Helen Zille’s allmale cabinet. When Jared Lee Loughner drew his gun and went on a shooting spree on 8 January, killing six and injuring another thirteen, the world’s attention once again ixated on yet another American gun tragedy.
For once, America’s gun laws were not the primary target for allocation of blame. This time around, the disturbing incident was said to have been provoked by the increasingly violent mudslinging between various political parties and igures.
It would be a utopian world indeed where voters carefully considered each and every aspect of candidates’ manifestos, weighed each pro and con, and inally made their choice on voting day. But in today’s modern times we seem to have so little time for in-depth political thought, and restrict ourselves to following our own candidate, shutting out or criticising opponents, eventually remembering only those moments of rhetoric that made us feel an emotional connection.
Political elections are essentially popularity contests. Voters choose the candidate they like best, whether because they have the most progressive plans to address local problems, or offer the greatest personal beneit, or even if you’ve ‘always’ voted Republican / Labour / IFP. So it makes sense to discredit your opponent(s) whilst elevating your own personal stature in the eyes of the voting public. But at which point does political discourse cross over into
I do not believe that the attempts by some Republican extremists to paint Democrats as wishy-washy liberalists intent on destroying their own country was to blame for Loughner’s rampage. Nor do I agree with the various pundits who place the blame for rising farm murders on songs like “Kill the Boer”. Acts of violence like these are committed for reasons of greed, or casual disregard for human life, and sometimes for no sane reason at all. But to suggest that such
Souled Out
Michelle October THE MICROSOFT Network (MSN) News recently reported that Sony BMG and other big recording companies are looking for a young boy in the Western Cape to sign him to their label. The boy’s name in question is Vicus. He is 10 years old, and the search for him began when he posted a video on YouTube of him singing acapella “These Arms” by All 4 One accompanied by his guitar. I couldn’t help but shiver after hearing about the people looking for him. My fears for his fate are not a product of my overactive imagination but rather as a result of nineteen years of watching raw performing talent being exploited in order to make more money. This shouldn’t be surprising: a recording company’s purpose is to make money by selling music, so naturally if a genre is selling well these record labels will jump at the chance to get as much cash out of it as possible - but at what cost? At the risk of sounding like your grandmother, I’m not going on a tangent about the “gadoof doof doof” called music, but I will ask, “Where has the soul of music gone?” When I turn on the radio I ind myself yearning for just one old-school jam to make me feel better, rather than the sporadic buzzing in my ear from the song I’m hearing instead. I’m not asking to go back to Nat King Cole times, just to a time when a
voting-induced hate-speech?
things would stop immediately if politicians everywhere all kissed and made-up is a pipe-dream indeed.
acceptable to hold one person responsible for the actions of another, we must never underestimate the inluences our words and actions can have on others.
However, such rhetoric is endemic in political discourse the world over, and it does no-one any good at all. Rhetoric is deined as “the undue use of exaggeration or display,” or, alternatively, “the ability to use language effectively.” At no point does good, even great, rhetoric rely on facts. Rhetoric is the stuff people put in their sentences to ill the spaces between the facts. What we need is leaders and politicians who use more facts and less rhetoric.
In a world of shortening attention spans, celebrity-driven culture and international voter apathy (at least in the free world), violent political rhetoric is becoming increasingly prevalent. Opponents are “snakes” and “inkwenkwe”, and protesters are a “rebellious minority”. Anyone who disagrees with our narrow view of the world “does not know” what they are talking about, or are simply the argument-defeating piss-poor response: “wrong”.
Anyone who has access to a public-platform must understand that there are people listening to them out there, people who will trust you and what you say because of your position, your rank, your power, and/or your credentials. These can be politicians, generals, doctors, ilm stars and, on occasion, journalists.
Let us put an end to this problem before it truly causes devastating acts of hatred and “us vs. them”. Let us discard rhetoric in favour of actual thought and reasoned argument. And let us call on our leaders and politicians to do the same.
And, while it is almost never
Don’t cry for me Brazil
musical instrument actually made an appearance in a pop song. A time when rappers spoke about things like waving your hands in the air for good times and not about smoking weed, getting laid or a girl’s rack. A time when I didn’t cringe incessantly when I turned on MTV. It might surprise you, but the time I’m wishing for isn’t a long time ago. If music is food for the soul then we are all fatally deprived individuals. Apparently I’m not the only one who feels this way about today’s music; while playing some oldschool Naughty By Nature recently, I found a party full of people with their hands in the air, simply wishing they could go back to the good old days. But if this music is in such demand, why are we still putting up with the radio?
Ehrard Vermaak WITH female leaders being appointed in some countries, such as Brazil (who just recently elected their irst female President) some questions are raised about female rule. Can women handle this traditionally male job? And if they can, do they make better rulers? Let’s take a look at some of the foremost female leaders in history. Ancient Egypt, around 1,650 BCE: A thousand years before Cleopatra even, Queen Hatshepsut dons male attire (including a fake beard!) and pretends to be Pharaoh. Now please remember that there was no Ancient Egyptian term for ‘Queen’, but rather ‘Kings Great Wife’, and with no King/Pharaoh and only an infant male heir, who was she to be greatly betrothed to? Hatshepsut took over control with a vengeance and ushered in a new era of stability and prosperity through trade with the peoples of Africa. Her construction monolithic obelisks put her male predecessors’ constructions to shame. Basically, obelisks look like immense copies of male genitalia hewn out of stone. With stone she was basically saying, “My obelisk is bigger than yours!”
Angola, the late 1500s: Nzinga, the queen of the Ndongo and Matamba kingdoms, takes a stand against the colonialist Portuguese as they take over what we now know as Angola. Constantly driven east by the invaders, she organized powerful guerrilla armies and developed alliances that would bring the slave route to its knees. When in negotiations with the European nobles, who would not even give her a stool to sit on, she would order her subjects to be human furniture so she could be of equal stature. Brüno eat your heart out. In the end her efforts proved futile as after her death her territories slipped quickly back into the exploitative hands of Europe.
Argentina, 1940s: Eva Peron, most famously portrayed by Madonna in the ilm ‘Evita’, it seems quite ironic that Madonna chose to portray a role of a woman who is perceived to have slept her way to the top. Her methods may have been (like Eve, Jezebel, Cleopatra, Matahari and all inserttemptress-name-here’s) equated to sin; yet her achievements really speak for themselves. Eva was adored by her people, resulting in an appeal to Pope John Paul II to give her saintly status.
China, Mid-1800s: Tzu-hsi transcends her ranks from a lowly concubine to the Dragon Empress when she bears the emperor Hs’en
Why is Justin Bieber singing a classic on the side if the road with his guitar one minute, and shoved onto a stage the next, sounding like an electriied bee that I simply can’t lick away? Why is Beyonce sounding more like Rihanna and less like Aretha? Why is Dubstep (the tripping tunes) legal? Why is rock the only mainstream genre with real musical instruments? The answer to all these questions seem to hang in the air and I can’t seem to grasp it, although I have a sneaky feeling that if I could just snap out of my Kesha-induced trance long enough to igure it out, the answer wouldn’t be so hard to ind.
Feng’s only son and male heir. Despite this, she ruled imperiously without considerations of her son’s wishes, building pleasure palaces out of state funds. Although China looked fabulous, it was obvious that her particular brand of control cost the country in its wars against Japan in the late 1890’s. However, like any good fashionista, she knew that if one was to be in-vogue one had to look for fashions from abroad and with the suppression of the anti-West Boxing Rebellion, Tzu-hsi allowed reforms and began the process of modernizing the government.
After her death, the previously infantile heir grew up to be a great ruler, however, with an apparent chip on his shoulder, erasing her name from all her monuments and reclaiming them for himself, thus edging her out of history. The Egyptians seemed uneasy when the woman behind every great man became the great woman alone.
Picture: flicker.com
“WHEN people do that, they have to realise there are consequences to that action.” – Gabrielle Giffords, on Sarah Palin’s marking of her Democratic congressional seat with a gun crosshair.
Among the dead were nine-yearold Christina-Taylor Green (a 9/11 baby), and John Roll, sixtythree year-old federal judge of the Arizona District Court. The target of the attack, US Representative Gabrielle Giffords, survived a shot to the head.
Picture: flicker.com
Berndt Hannweg
“STEADY ON FELLAS” - The time for women to take over may be nigh.
Other female rulers, such as Eleanor of Aquitaine, Joan of Arc, Catherine De Medici, Elizabeth I, Mary Queen of Scots, Amina of Nigeria, Catherine the Great, Liliuokalani, Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, and now Dilma Rousseff have all left their mark on history. It seems that women make better rulers than men because, unfortunately, there is still that added pressure. Female rulers work so much harder because any failure is met with the inevitable sexist retort, “She is only a woman.” Despite this, it is very exciting to see how people are opening up to more lexible ideas of what a leader might be. Contemporary female leaders are elected through processes, and not merely rule thanks to the luck of the draw. Hopefully after Obama, Hillary might yet show us how to rule the free world with a woman’s touch.
7
Opinions
The Illuminati:
camp story or something more serious?
Michelle October RECENTLY speculations have popped up rumouring celebrities such as Jay- Z, Kanye West, Rihanna and Beyonce to be part of an ancient secret society called the Illuminati, leading people to question the existence of the society, especially since allegations that the society is hellbent on a one-world order has been uncovered. While the secret society is just that – a secret – we can never know if it truly exists. However, is there enough evidence to validate the claims made by critics worldwide?
A new group rumoured to be a secret society is the Council of Foreign Relations (CFR), which boast as a platform to liaise in peace and interactive relations between countries, and is famously inluencing American foreign policy. However, it is believed that the CFR is using the platform as a smokescreen for international control. Jay-Z and his gang aren’t the irst to be rumoured to be members of a secret society – Jefferson and George Bush, among many others, are said to be using their political, inancial, and ideological inluence to control the world. Another allegation is that the Illuminati instigated the French Revolution. It all sounds completely nonsensical when you state the accusations in a list like this, but ponder the happenings around us and suddenly the theory doesn’t sound that stupid anymore: how far is a one-world government really from globalisatio Illuminati n? Is it really that ridiculous to suggest that a world war could be planned to devastate the globe to the extent that all countries would
be desperate for world peace, thus making the idea of a one-world government more plausible? Consider the rapid change in ideology presented to audiences in the form of music videos, movies and songs. Because the ideology has been so gradually introduced to us we don’t see it as “unorthodox”, but rewind a few decades and you’ll be shocked to ind how far we’ve come from our conservative roots. Consider that none of our economic analysts predicted the 2008 recession: unless a planned withdrawal of vital funds was carried out, how else can you explain the sudden plummet of economies? Consider the number the uneducated mass occupies on the earth. What if all these factors are working together to desensitize a planet so that when the notion that an entity will be controlling the world comes into practice, people go, “Hey, that’s not so bad”, instead of, “wait a second, what do they want from us?” The truth is that we can shrug this off and laugh about it; make witty comments and bag any believers in the conspiracy as senile, but when power is entrusted into the wrong hands, repercussions of epidemic proportions ensue. Maybe we should listen more carefully to those in power around us and decide if they really should be there. Picture: flicker.com
Historians believe that there have been various secret societies throughout time, all with similar aims, and all that simmer out and die down. However, believers in the conspiracy think that all the secret societies that appear are in fact one and the same, propping up under different names. The oldest of these is the Illuminati, founded in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt, believed to be a Jesuit. The name Illuminati stems from the Latin plural “Illuminatus”, meaning “enlightened”. The Illuminati believed themselves to be “the bearers of light” and supported Europe’s intellectual renaissance and unorthodox ideologies; something frowned upon in those conservative times. The
Freemasons are rumoured to be based on similar sets of values, and both societies are famously anti-Christian, thus, susceptible to having sinister motives.
ILLUMINATI - Can you feel yourself being manipulated right now?
Picture: flicker.com
To Tweet or Not to Tweet
SHAKESPEARE - Brevity is the soul of wit
Michael Mpofu WITH just over 200 million users in the space of four years, I think most of us are beyond the “What’s Twitter all about” phase and asking the “What’s your username?” question. If, however, you happen to be among those that have chosen to stay ignorant, this article is deinitely for you! For me, it’s simple. With just 140 characters (letters or punctuation marks) to it into a single tweet, you save the world the trouble of having to read your rambling on about some song lyrics, or a poem that you’ve adapted to make it look like your own so people can press the “like” button (hint hint). With Twitter it’s simple: “Get to the point, I don’t have all day”. Time is the one thing no one has, and Twitter is there for that speciic purpose, like a drive through: order, pay, collect and go! For those of you who have dreamt of one day setting up a blog, Twitter is your best place to start. It deinitely isn’t a blogging site; it creates a platform for one to start. I’d say it’s something closer to a micro-blog. Having short updates forces one to improve the way they express themselves grammatically. On the other hand, if you do not care if your grammar improves or not, please feel free to join half of the world in being ignorant and probably not making it too far in life. It’s simple: “You cannot change the culture, if you’re not part of the conversation.” Twitter is the conversation and we’d better start speaking the language.
And then there’s the issue of being accused of stalking people. This may seem like I’m taking a bash at Facebook, but it’s the truth. People spend so much time going through other people’s pictures, albums and seeing if they’ve RSVP’d to the same “Event” as you have. One really wonders if those that are not so keen on joining Twitter are complaining about it being a device to stalk people, or whether they are simply uncomfortable with their current stalking tool i.e Facebook. If you REALLY wanted to know what someone was doing over the weekend, you’d still ind out regardless of whether you found out through Twitter or through another network. It being a “stalking” device doesn’t make for good argument. Everyone wants their voice to be heard and Twitter is the platform for this. The difference is this, “Twitter allows you to say something, Facebook requires you to say everything”-@malcolmbaxter. We’re really NOT interested in your “everything”. Give us the little substance that you have, and keep the rest, we have lives too. What social network you use is really your choice. However, Twitter strikes the balance, not too public and just enough space to say what needs to be said. For those that have made it dificult for others to get on because of your “I’m eating”, “Now, I’m walking” tweets, shame on you! Twitter’s the revolution, let’s be part of it!
Lead from the front, not from the back! I USED to be awed by the Student Representative Council (SRC) when I was a irst year. It takes an extraordinary amount of talent, social networking, backstabbing, party brainwashing and appeal to be on the highest student body at the University of Cape Town. Representing 22 000-odd students is no easy task. At UCT, I igured that the SRC were a superhuman group of students far beyond my capabilities, so advanced in thought, speech and manner – in short, I thought the SRC were some kind of Jedi Council whose powers far surpassed those of us mere mortals. So far, only one SRC group has even come close to achieving such lofty ambitions. The 2010
SRC was driven, ambitious, dedicated to their goals and best of all communicative – at least they knew where the “reply” buttons on their email clients were. True, there were some members that were greasier than pork ears, but overall, the team as a whole more than made up for any individual laws. The other student councils were not so lucky. Why did the other SRC groups fail? Well, mostly because they fell at the irst hurdle – being a student. One of the requirements of being a member of the STUDENT Representative Council is to be a STUDENT of UCT. This is not possible if you are excluded, academically for example. It is hard to understand why students are complaining about inadequate computer facilities, high school fees, alienation from management,
terrible residence life and drastic hikes in school fees if one is not in UCT to actually experience it for oneself. You cannot represent students by proxy – you can’t do
“You cannot represent students by proxy – you can’t do SRC through UNISA.
“
Rémy Ngamije
SRC through UNISA. Being on the SRC is one of those annoying jobs where you actually have to be present when they take roll call. SRC members don’t seem to get this. You’d think at some point
between campaigning and being elected someone would realise that they are not meeting the DP requirements, or that if they do not start studying for exams, they will not be admitted to the university whose students they have vowed to serve for a year. Perhaps it is just me – I was under the impression SRC candidates were the cream of the crop. Sure, not all leaders need to be academics, but I want my student representatives to be in UCT when it is my turn ight some kind of battle. I actually make bets on how many candidates will be excluded each year. I predict three; it seems to be the trend – and some of my bets go very high up. It is distressing to wake up and ind out that the person you voted for the previous year has not been admitted back to UCT because their academics are in shambles. It
retards the student vote. Exclusion means that the SRC has to scrape the bottom of the barrel and ill positions with weaker and less popular candidates on the election roll. I don’t care what anyone says, candidates from sixteen to eternity are the bottom of the barrel. If they weren’t they would have inished in the top ifteen. All in all, there is no benevolent Jedi Council in my jaded SRCutopia – just very ordinary and very incapable people who promise too much and never deliver. It’s sad. But I am the gloating type. And nothing makes me gloat more than the terrible fact that I attend more tutorials and submit more assignments than entire SRC put together. Funny ain’t it?
8
Opinions
Speak Easy
Tiffany Mugo
people would sooner do in an alley rather in a ive star suite? The history of sex is wrapped very tightly with religion. Any and all notions one has towards sex are tied up with notions that we get straight from religious ideas. We have been taught from an early age that sex is a way of making children. You get married and have sex as a way of procreating, therefore anything outside of that is just... unsavoury. If one works under this premise that sex is for creating tiny humans then that cuts out a lot of good stuff. DIRTY, freaky nasty, ilthy. These are some of the words used to describe the sex that people have. Gone are the days when one was compared to “a summer’s day”, we have instead become “naughty gurls” and “lil’ freaks”. I have even heard the story of a certain young lady referring to her gentleman friend as “my penis”. Why has sex become something
Pastors, Rabbis and Imams have drawn the lines for what is sexually acceptable. Even if you are not religious you still subscribe. Think about it, how many times have you thought of a sexual act as naughty? Or been too scared to ask a lover to do that thing that you have been dying to try? Riddle me this, why do some things fall within the conines of what is acceptable and others do not? Don Schrader
So wrong in all the right ways... sums it up when he says, “To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.” There is a great deal of evidence of pre-colonial sexual liberation within the African context. This was before ships packed with bottled prudishness made us put shirts, pants and underwear on claiming that nakedness was something to be ashamed of. The funny thing is that after western nations told us to cover up and told us that our ritual dances were immoral, these same nations are the ones that later brought us porn, the mini skirt and who can forget the infamous ‘thong’. Many scholars of Ancient African (isn’t it funny how that phrase is reserved for western civilizations) Traditions argue that there was an acceptance of a variety of sexualities and sensualities. Within African traditional culture, sex and sexuality was intertwined with
PEOPLE have a habit of fooling themselves. They like to convince their minds that when the time comes to turn over a new leaf, things will happen easily and quickly. People end up turning over not just a leaf, but a whole bag of assorted holiday foliage, three or four trees short of putting their neighbourhood on the World Bank’s Deforestation list. When the time comes for the New Year to begin its cycle, as it does, every year, people prepare what is commonly known as a list of ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. And topping this list, year in and year out, is health and itness. This year I’m only eating healthy foods. This year I’m running every morning. This year I’m exercising twice a day. Sound familiar? If not, good for you. If yes, keep reading.
We are a world of prudes. The porn industry and red light district, strip clubs and under cover hooks-ups is evidence of this rather than being
Gina Edmonds
Town time-zone. For intellectual property and other legal purposes, and in my opinion her beneit, we’ll call her Russell. Now Russell turns to her boyfriend, who we’ll dub Mary-Anne for similar reasons, and says, “Ag, you know. I must really like eat healthy hey. It’s my year. I’ll start next week”. Witnessing such a disturbing, disturbing scene adjacent to the starlings, which had begun tearing each other’s feathers out, I felt an intense and furious yearning to slap Russell before lashing that free, limsy Cosmo calendar at her and letting her know that it’s February. A full 37 or so days since the clocked dragged its fat hour-hand over the midnight mark.
at our Facebook page, and see that all 2 189 of our friends are hosting “Welcome Back to CT”, “One More Booze-up” and “Can You Believe We’re Graduating This Year, But Touch Wood That Russell Gives Us Her Tuts” parties. We drink and we wake up for lunch... sometimes supper. The next thing you know, you’re Russell, walking with Mary-Anne, in amongst birds that deserve a cameo in Fight Club, promising yourself yet again that you’ll “start next week”. Here’s the hard truth Russell. If you don’t start today, you never will. Next week never comes. Unless you have an Eco’s test. But I digress.
We tell ourselves every year - year in and year out - that it’s time to eat healthily. Then we look at our calendars and without us realising, our promises to ourselves take a quiet backseat. The year starts off with a bit more holiday, which in “Student” (a grossly misunderstood language) translates to, “A few more weeks of drinking before I need to ask Russell if I can copy her tutorials”. We postpone. We say, “Alright, when I get back to Cape Town I’ll start running”, and then we look
So for most, the only time one actually lifts a inger to exercise is when they toss out that bag full of turned-over leaves for garden services to collect, before getting right back to Mel B: It’s a Scary World and BBM. The gyms are there, they’re equipped, ready and waiting. The mountain is there, and has been for at least a good few months. And hey, if push comes to shove, run around the block a few times, before putting it back under your bed. Then Tweet about it. Here’s to healthy thumbs, just in time for summer. Picture: Garethsmit.com
Enter the University of Cape Town, and its bustling Upper Campus food court. A delightful young lady is spotted, enjoying the pleasant sight of two starlings attacking one another’s eyes, while walking with a group of friends, having nothing better to do in the newly discovered laid-back Cape
One of the most infamous eras of prostitution was that of the Victorian Age, the exact same time they were calling all other peoples immoral and exporting their morals and values. One source says that, “There were never enough ‘voluntary prostitutes’ to meet the voracious Victorian demand.” Thus my argument stands, the more we try to hide and supress our inherent sexual drives, the more we feed a decrepit underworld illed with whips and chains and ‘fetishes’. The more we deine what is sexually acceptable the more we crave what is ‘not’.
evidence to the contrary. They are part of the seedy underbelly of our mental cognisance. We have deined sex in such a narrow way that we are constantly inding ways to push the limits. We adhere to the narrow deinition of what ‘kosher’ sex is every time we say something was ‘freaky’ or something else was ‘dirty’. When we do that we bow to sexual limitations that exist nowhere but in our collective psyches. So break some rules, redeine the boundaries according to what you want and not what society tells you. Remember it is only dolphins and ourselves who have sex for pleasure so don’t waste it. Also never forget sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off it. So don’t be shy when a sex scene comes on, it’s only natural, just make sure that while you’re doing it you are safe, because I don’t care what sexual freedom you seek, a burning sensation when you pee is the not the feeling of liberty.
Drinking is our Culture
5, 4, 3, 2, 1… HEALTHY NEW YEAR! Nicholas Corbett
every sector of traditional society, from politics to spirituality. Even as I write this I can hear a voice inside me saying stop encouraging promiscuity (the projected voice of an elderly family member I am sure).
MANY a student can associate with the experience of the clearing of the throat, perhaps an intimidating stance and a stern tone of voice as a parent bares down on you about “losing your inhibitions”, “knowing your limits” and “being responsible”. I went through this exact ordeal a weekend ago after having had a phone stolen while out on Saturday night. I was shown no sympathy as I, the victim of crime, was told that I should not have looked like I was having so much fun as this made me an easy target. Well, thanks parentals, the next time I’m out I’ll be the one with my arms crossed and a scowl on my face to ward off potential offenders. Apart from this bizarre rationale there is no doubt that they had a point; alcohol equals trouble. And as the craziness of February ensues, one could take a step back from the debauchery to reassess the thing that has come to play a huge role in our lives. Being lectured in this manner made me want to take a step back and say, “Listen up! Not only were you in very similar situations back in the day but you were also the ones who offered us our irst drinks as teenagers and let us party when we were still at school.” Apart from the cliché of blaming the parents who criticize us as the irresponsible youth, it is glaringly obvious that alcohol is entrenched in our lifestyles. It is passed down from one generation to the next
as parents expose their children to alcohol at an increasingly younger age. These parents then toss their precious young ones out into the real world, giving them the freedom of choice but are shocked when they choose to drink. This reaction seems unwarranted when society has also fashioned drinking to be an integral part of socializing and having fun. One drinks to celebrate, to console, to get wired or simply to enjoy with a good meal. However the line must be drawn between one and one too many. Is it obvious that drinking is the main culprit in the many troubles that have affected us at some stage? This ranges from waking up with that 4am rave burger still sitting in your throat or the hookup you want to extract from your memory with a chisel, to the much more serious run-ins with the law and alcohol-related deaths. All ingers point in the same direction, yet we continue because it is fun. Our parents watch in horror as their offspring live out an exaggerated version of their own youth, praying that they will survive it. Whether you are a drinker or not, trouble will ind you, but as with everything in life let’s ind the happy medium of getting on the right side of this little demon and to avoid having your ear chewed off. This is the time of the year for frivolities before life gets serious. So make the most of it, be safe and please, don’t only look like you’re having too much fun – really do.
disclaimer The VARSITY Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the university community or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the VARSITY Collective or its advertisers. The Opinions Editor expressly reserves the right to edit or shorten letters. Letters should include the name and telephone number of the writer, and must be received by 5pm on the Wednesday before publication. They should not exceed 350 words, and will not be published under a pseudonym, or anonymously. Email articles to opinions@varsitynewspaper.co.za EXCERCISE - Quit beer pong and take up a real sport, like running - between classes will do!
9
Opinions
Freshers in Freefall: Surviving the First Year Freakout YOUR irst year at UCT can be an epic fail unless you’ve got a few basics down to make sure you are not useless at life.
1. You’re not as smart as you
think. That’s why you’re here. Duh. That means you actually have to show up to class. Even if you’ve just scraped yourself off the Tin Roof loor, just wear dark glasses and make your classes. The fact that you’re at university means you’re in the minority percentile of people who get access to education in this country. Don’t waste the privilege. “But what about all the parties and fun stuff we heard about from our older sister and watched on dodgy American comedies! You can’t take that away from us!” you naïvely cry in outrage. Fear not freshers. Now that my social responsibility is out of the way I can get on to the really important stuff.
2. Dump your boyfriend or girlfriend the second you set foot in Cape Town. Nobody wants to listen to you telling your “baby” back in PE how much you miss them on the phone. O-week is about hotties and hormones. So be single. It’s just better. 3. Pre-drink. Crackling is the
cheapest wine you can buy. It will also make you go blind. Tiger drinks specials are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Springboks on Thursday Jug Night is a magical place where the 2L jug you clutch in your hand will cost you the same
Special Note: Don’t lend your hoodie to the guy or girl who has just had a nap over in your room, because you will probably never see it again.
as the Woolies microwave meal you didn’t buy to feed yourself.
4. Res rooms are breeding pits for the annual stomach bug that will start going around sometime in March. Lack of sleep + destroyed livers + damaged immune systems = stoked germs. This is around the same time that Royal Sechaba (the people who feed you) will inform the university that they are striking for a wage increase, and you will be forced to call the ‘rentals’ for extra cash and walk to Rondies for food. Or you could just take that money and go to Springboks...
6. You are no longer cool. Despite your personal beliefs you probably weren’t cool in school either. No one was. Shame, it’s okay. It’s really not worth it to try and it in or make friends with the people you think you should anyway. Despite the fact that most freshers will be giving themselves aneurisms trying to be the friendliest person ever, not everyone is going to like you, and that’s ine. It’s probably a good thing. And kids who took a gap year, yes, we know, you’re better than everyone else.
“You are no longer cool. Despite your personal beliefs you probably weren’t cool in school either.
7. Wear a condom. Uhhhh boring! No dumbass. What’s boring is not being able to get any because your infected self has an STD. Boring is going home because you’re pregnant. That’s boring.
“
Nicola Lazenby
5. But on the plus side res rooms are also good places for the inevitable sneaky nap over. If you are unlucky enough to get nookie in Kopano, you will be forced to do the morning walk of shame past the dining hall. Don’t bother trying to carry a ile or borrow a hoodie, everyone knows you weren’t there to study. Be proud, you got some morning action, and the only thing the sorry folk in the dining hall are getting is Royal Sechaba breakfast. Yum.
Anticipate making horrible mistakes, leaving your pride on the loor of Tiger Tiger, being that person in lectures, and wanting to go home. Unless you ask for help directly here, no one cares. Ask for help sooner, rather than later.
FRESHERS’ HANDBOOK - The university would issue you this, but they don’t want you to freak out. Picture: Garethsmit.com
It won’t be long until you ind your feet and your friends and leave all your inappropriate campus-wear behind. Even good change is stressful. Relax. Look out for yourself and each other. And shame, call your mom, it’s hard for them.
10
Features
Your World in Pictures
ABOVE: Warren Little from the UCT Mountain and Ski Club races down the
hill below the UCT dam. The Grass Skiing attracted a large audience during Plaza Week.
Picture: garethsmit.com
BELOW: This photo stitched image shows the more than a hundred clubs ABOVE: Holiday Murray frontman James Tuft takes center
and societies that decended on Jammie Plaza to strut their stuff and lure
stage at Plaza week.
new members.
Picture: michael.currin.co.za
Picture: michael.currin.co.za
11
Features
ABOVE: CAIRO – An anti-government demonstrator prays near Egyptian army vehicles, and (BELOW) protesters run past a burning car on Thursday 3 February. Protests against President Hosni Mubarak finally ended on Friday 11 February with Mubarak’s resignation and departure from Cairo. The country’s affairs are being managed by the military. Pictures: John Moore/Getty Images
ABOVE: BEIJING – Fireworks lit up the night sky to celebrate the Chinese New Year on 3 February. The Chinese Lunar New Year, which is based on the Lunisolar Chinese calendar, is celebrated from the first day of the first month of the lunar year, and ends with Lantern Festival on the Fifteenth day. Picture: Photo by Lintao Zhang/Getty Images
RIGHT: CAPE TOWN – President Jacob Zuma stands with his first wife, Sizakele Khumalo, and Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe while the national anthem is played at the Opening of Parliament on Thursday 11 February.
Picture: Picture Cindy Waxa/ Independent
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Features POLITICS
South Africa’s future without Madiba Magic it was revealed that the elderly statesman had received treatment for an acute respiratory infection. Madiba’s hospital stay came just weeks after the social network Twitter was ablaze with rumours that the icon had passed away. The ANC condemned these rumours describing them as “not only malicious but insensitive to the Madiba family and the South African nation”. Although a grim prospect it has become increasingly obvious that his health has deteriorated and that the beloved statesman’s death is imminent. Following the recent sobering events many South Africans are pondering what life would be like without him.
“ Twitter was THE FINAL STRETCH – Former President Nelson Mandela’s hospital visit caused a national panic.
“
ablaze with rumours that the icon had passed away.
Picture: garethsmit.com
Abongwe Mlamla THE COUNTRY held its breath as news broke that former President, Nelson Mandela “Madiba”, had been admitted to Milpark Hospital in Johannesburg on 26 January. Sello Hatang, spokesperson for the Nelson Mandela Foundation
issued a statement assuring that his admittance to the hospital was for “routine tests” and that the former president was in “good spirits”.
Foundation’s brief statement) the public had been kept in the dark about his health. Hospital oficials had been expected to address the media, but this never happened.
Speculation about Madiba’s health ran rife, partly due to the fact that (with the exception of the
At a media brieing held on 28 January at the hospital, hours before Madiba was discharged,
As seen during the FIFA World Cup hosted in South Africa, the country has been united in wishing Madiba well. However, the imperative issue is whether the current air of camaraderie will carry through past his death. How would the country move forward after losing such an iconic igure?
In line with the issue of life after Madiba’s death, the impact on the country’s often tense political climate has to be contemplated. Although the former president oficially retired from public life in June 2004, he still has undeniable inluence in South African governance. Opposition parties had been united in wishing the political stalwart a speedy recovery in the days following his hospital stay, however the cracks have begun to show again. Opposition party leaders have used Madiba’s stay in hospital in an effort to garner support in largely ANC run areas. Democratic Alliance leader, Helen Zille during a DA rally in the Johannesburg township of Alexandra, emphasised that they had not forgotten the promises made in the 1994 elections, saying, “We will not forget your struggle. Alex knows the spirit of Madiba [who believes] in one nation, one future”. Although it is apparent that Madiba’s illness may play a large role in the local government election campaigns, South Africans can only speculate on the affect his death would have on the country’s tenuous political and economic environment. If the current campaign wars are indication, it is apparent that the divisions within the country will only disseminate, failing to build on the legacy for which Nelson Mandela fought long and hard.
Hieroglyphics on the wall for Arab autocracies
In Tunisia, following the selfimmolation of Mohamed Bouazizi as an act of martyrdom against the unattended economic conditions suffered by the Tunisian population, protestors took to the streets and managed to oust exPresident Zine El Abidine Ben Ali on January 14th. The revolution was the irst removal of an Arab leader through public fury, and has inspired conidence in the region.
“ 219 people were reported killed in the Tunisian unrest.
confer power onto his son. The concessions, however, are minimal measures of appeasement; in most cases, the state has responded with oppressive violence. 219 people were reported to have been killed in the Tunisian unrest before the In Jordan, Bahrain, Yemen, demise of Pres. Ben Ali. In Algeria, Kuwait, Algeria and others, public 10000 protesters marching on
February 12th were met by triple their number in anti-riot police.
Picture: Flickr.com
In a tumultous two months, weather conditions in the Arab world have changed drastically as galeforce winds of change sweep across the region. In Tunisia and Egypt, autocratic regimes have been toppled by mass protests galvanised by economic hardship, corruption, and a demand for civil liberties and democracy. In other parts of the region, from Syria to Saudi Arabia, autocrats are faced with an unprecedented public fury.
protest, with repeats of Bouazizi's martyrdom by gasoline, has led to concessions by the countries' leaders. In Jordan, King Abdullah II disposed of his entire cabinet in order to quell discontent. In Yemen, President Ali Abdullah Saleh has announced that he would not seek re-election in 2013, nor
“
Louis Pienaar
The most important spillover of public discontent was into Egypt, the key ally of the West in the Middle East. President Honsi Mubarak had ruled the country for 30 years under a self-imposed state of emergency. But weeks of protests in the cities of Egypt, focused mainly in Tahrir Square (or Liberation Square) in Cairo, led to Mubarak conceding defeat and handing over power to a military council. A key feature of the protests in the Middle East was its technological nature. A Facebook post by Asmaa Mahfouz, stating "People, I am going to Tahrir Square", was the start of the protest movement. Through the internet, protestors were able to communicate and be mobilised in ways distinct from past public protest movement. The mass moblisation of protests through mobile technology helped keep the protests organised without the need for particular authority.
REVOLT - Egyption protesters mobilise in Tahrir Square Unsurprisingly, one of the irst measures imposed by regimes in order to curb protest was to cut mobile phone services and access to the internet. However, the luid, dynamic nature of social media allowed protestors to ind alternative means of broadcasting their solidarity. For example, after the Egyptian regime cut off online access to Facebook and Twitter, Egyptians were enabled to use their mobile phones to broadcast Tweets. Many of the regimes in the Arab world are of importance to the West, and the international response to the revolts are as thus highly illuminating. In Tunisia, due to the country's importance in
terms of trade with the European Union, France pledged to aid antiprotests forces despite the protests' call for self determination and democracy. Other countries facing revolt are of similar importance to geopolitics. Saudi Arabia is an old ally of the United States, and the US's response to developments there will be similarly insightful. The US and its allies are faced with a bull's horn dilemma: either maintain the status quo in the region for the sake of placating economic stability, or they can support the aspirations of the people, aspirations for democracy and civil liberties that are touted as the cornerstone of Western liberty.
Features BOOK RELEASES Calvin Scholtz
Black Swan Calvin Scholtz
Stieg Larsson, My Friend by Kurdo Baksi
DARREN Aronofsky doesn’t make easy movies – in Requiem for a Dream, he gave viewers a highly disturbing look at the effect that drug abuse can have on people’s lives, while The Fountain was an inter-dimensional love story that required much mind-bending on the part of the audience, perhaps too much. More recently, he scored a hit with The Wrestler, and his latest ilm focuses on another sport of sorts: ballet.
THIS is an informal biography by one of Stieg Larsson’s few close friends. It gives us a rare look at the man before he posthumously became a worldfamous author. He was, irst and foremost, an investigative journalist who worked tirelessly to expose neo-Nazism in the Swedish government and in other European countries. It also includes a shocking revelation that could possibly provide motivation for the author’s emphasis, in his books and private life, on the ight for women’s rights.
However, this is not your average art-house production: it is a psychological thriller that rises to the level of a true horror ilm at times, and is certainly not for the faint-hearted.
Noah Barleywater Runs Away by John Boyne
NOAH Barleywater lives in an enchanted world where trees have feelings and furniture can talk. But something must have gone horribly wrong in Noah’s world to make him run away from his home and loving family. Through a chance meeting with an old toymaker in the forest, Noah will learn from him to face up to the truth that he has been trying so hard to avoid. This is a charming story for all ages that teaches us an important message about life: possibly a future classic for children.
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The plot revolves around the staging of the classic ballet, Swan Lake. The main role in the play is that of the Swan Queen, and demands a unique performance from whichever dancer portrays her, as she will have to act two parts: that of the innocent and fragile White Swan, as well as the evil and seductive Black Swan. Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman) is an accomplished ballerina who can easily play the role of the White Swan, as it is a direct relection of her personality. But, in order to get the part, she will also have to portray the Black Swan, and to do that she has to tread a very dark path.
REVIEWS
After seeing the ilm, it is clear to me that Portman’s Golden Globe win for Best Actress was well deserved, and that an Oscar nod would not be out of place either. She studied and trained in ballet for a year prior to ilming and lost weight for the role, and it pays off: she does most of the dancing herself, and comes across as a completely professional. However, that is only one side of her character, as she also has to show a performer who is under tremendous pressure, and how this leads to paranoia and various psychotic breaks. The theme of two-sidedness, of duality, is prominent throughout the ilm in many of its aspects: in the most obvious way, there is another dancer, Lily (Mila Kunis), who seems to want to sabotage Nina’s part in the play. Lily is a ‘dark double’ to Nina in both her appearance and her personality, which is far more liberal and shameless that Nina’s. The motif of the mirror is also ever-present: in the ballet studio itself, in the changing rooms and at Nina’s own house there is an octagonal mirror against the wall. Some of the most unsettling scenes in the ilm arise from what she sees in these mirrors. In terms of the cinematography, Aronofsky favours a more shaky, documentary-style approach, as he did in Requiem for a Dream, adding to the feeling that things
AWARD-WINNING – Black Swan has been met with rave reviews. are not quite under control. The closing scenes of the ilm contain a small amount of special effects , but the imagery it creates is so strikingly beautiful that it only adds to the superb story-telling. Composer Clint Mansell also takes a slight step back from his own work and incorporates much of Tchaikovsky’s original music into the score, often in quite brilliant and surprising ways. Overall, the ilm is an absolute masterpiece.
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Features
VOX POPS
Valentine’s Day T
Pictures: garethsmit.com
Gareth Hanli Guy: Nice shirt, it will look good on my floor later…
H
VALENTINE’s Day is an annual celebration that has been a part of our dating tradition circa 500 AD. It is a day most companions use to show their affections to their signiicant other, with gifts and grand gestures. Conversely, another section of society – the not-so magnanimous half – holds viewpoint that Valentine’s Day has become an over-commercialised day that serves in the best interest of the capitalistic monopoly. We scoured the campus to ind out more about UCT students’ dating experiences, and we also found out which pick up lines did not pick them up...
Cait Murphy Guy: Did it hurt?
Andre Moraloki
Girl: Did what hurt?
Guy: do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?
Guy: When you fell from heaven – you must be an angel.
What is the “cheesiest” pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
Ross Hare Guy: Is your astronaut?
dad
an
Nokthula Mpanza
Girl: No, why? Guy: Is your father a terrorist? Guy: Then who took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes? (It works! But a girl has to be really drunk for it to work properly).
ivans’
.
Girl: No, why? Guy: Because you are the bomb!
.
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on page 3 of Die Son.
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Features
HUMOUR
Beware the irst-year spread Alex Child IT WAS February and heat enveloped UCT. Jammie steps buzzed with the chatter of eager irst years, the only people who could muster smiles in the eternal registration lines. However, the temperature did not bother those who gathered in the sun; as the girls covered themselves in the bare minimum of clothing and the guys appreciated this soft-core porn – the girls were hot. So it was, and it was good. But the coming winter months would be cruel, and carbs were friendly.
out into one glorious, sweating wrap of pleasure. The downside is that this requires two people, by yourself just doesn’t seem to work. On an interesting side note, completely unrelated: one out of ten doctors say that having sex with people around twenty-two (or fourth year) actually stops fat from accumulating in your body, something about enzymes in the
sweat, I’m not sure. It’s science.
2. Find out you’ve been betted on as a likely winner for horse races (if you don’t know what this is then you’ve already lost). This will cause you to surge with a magniicent fury that only the dusty ventricles of a woman’s snake heart could pump, making it damn certain that you won’t let
yourself gain the slightest amount of weight.
3. Keep drinking. A lot of people say alcohol makes you put on weight, but this is a lie sprouting from the dark caverns of the sober under the guise of ‘logic’ and ‘fact’. The solution is merely to switch your drink of choice to whiskey, for it has mystical
Before anyone could see it coming, hideous beasts were shufling their round hips out of residences all around UCT. The worst was that they would still try shoving their misshapen bodies into their old clothes, resulting in bulging mufin tops and straining material, revealing more than anyone should ever have to see. The horror! This is a cycle that seems unavoidable, but can we even call ourselves human if we did not but try to stop a series of gross human rights violations. What I want to share with you now are guide lines so this tragedy will never happen again!
1. Have a lot of (safe) sex. This unique exercise is key to keeping off the irst year blubber; it combines all forms of working
FIGHT THE FLAB – Helpful hints for a fat-free first year.
healing powers and is rumoured to give you super powers of falling over and speaking in a language no-one else understands. This also has the added bonus of getting you more drunk than any none magic drink, which is helpful in fulilling guideline (1).
4. Engen pies are your enemy. Hate them with all your strength. I have seen many a girls fall into their seductive trap after a big night out. Only to wake up weeks later with the spread. It is our duty as good Samaritans to slap freshly bought pies out of all irst years’ hands and eat them then and there as a lesson. Instead of buying pastries from Engen, rather use it to combat the spread. This can be done by stealing something and forcing the security guards to keep your pace up on a three kilometre sprint back to res. 5. Lastly, if all else fails, develop a hardcore morphine or heroin habit because we all know, there’s no such thing as a tubby junkie. This will also avoid the problem of becoming a cokewhore: a phenomenon that has plagued irst years for decades. Lucky, the local heroin dealer, has also given me his word that it is one hundred percent non-addictive, so contact him on 082 428 9088 and get your special offer while stocks last.
Picture: flickr.com
Postgrad: staying after your “sell by” date A
E
THE FEELING of graduating is non-comparable. Let me rephrase that – the feeling of graduating is probably comparable to winning the lottery, going on a date with your celebrity crush(es) or receiving the elixir of life. However, as the company I keep does not make me privy to such experiences, graduating this December past was, as a Mastercard ad would say, “priceless”. It was an empowering (and sometimes creepy) experience being able to go up to a random stranger and say, “Hey, you, what did you do today? Well, I got a degree – boom.” Now this kind of action did lead to some strange looks (not uncommon for me), spitting (from other people), large amounts of profanity directed my way (again not uncommon for me), and running away from angered, often large sweaty strangers. Unfortunately the euphoria I felt from professing my degree status was rapidly eroded when someone countered me with the simple question, “So what are you doing next year?” My repertoire of witty and ingenious replies failed me as all I could cough up (apart from the fur ball) was, “I’m studying again.” This is my third week back at UCT and the experience has been like a Dali exhibition – surreal. I have witnessed countless orientation tours of UCT with
the usual highlights. The irst is the “magical bridge” between Leslie Social and Leslie Commerce than elevates you from level ive to level two without requiring any hallucinogens. The second is the mouth-drooling-oil-laced-dominopossessed food court which oozes future health problems. The third is the epitome of horrid design, shocking insulation and a machine of nightmares and torment – commonly known as Sports Centre. Last, but certainly not least, is the highly exciting and oh so boisterous meeting place known as the library. Watching the glossy-eyed, hairstraightened, too-cool-for-school freshers made me feel really old, a feeling that was exasperated by my rapidly increasing number of grey hairs. Not only did I feel old, but I felt used, abused and no longer cool – similar feelings to what
“Like anything in life, there is a “sell by” date to your stay at university
“
B
a Nokia 3310 now experiences thanks to BlackBerry. Overhearing (or rather stalking and eavesdropping from a close yet non-invasive distance) conversations had by these freshers
did not help my cause. One such conversation was, “So my sister said we should go to Tiger Tiger because it’s a classy club and there are older boys who will buy us drinks”. I laughed hard at their naivety, Tiger Tiger – classy? Another was, “So I heard there is this really awesome place with great music and plenty of space and friendly bar staff… I think it’s called Tin Roof.“ I had a mild vomit in my throat when I heard this. However, my favourite was, “UCT discriminates against fat people with all these stairs.” Upon relection, I have decided that like anything in life, there is a “sell by” date to your stay at University. I feel that I might have passed the “sell by” date and am edging close to the “use by” date. Signs of such a problem include among others the Budget Roll lady knowing you by name and your regular order, not seeing anyone familiar in the library anymore, and not complaining about the game of Russian roulette that is played everyday looking for parking. I do not profess to be a clairvoyant (though I have had some interesting encounters with several spirits such as Jack and Johnnie), but signs should not be ignored (especially those warning you about the fence being electriied). Lots will happen at UCT this year, but not much will change and both UCT and I will be stuck in limbo. For my sake, I hope I make it out before I reach my “use by” date.
Delusional – the blue scrolls deceives you into believing you are now part of the mature school. Picture: Elvis Ngwenya
Disclaimer The VARSITY humour page is a vehicle for expression. The views expressed on the humour page are not necessarily those of VARSITY or its advertisers. Nothing that Julius Malema or anyone else says will stop us from saying what we want.
Reader discretion is advised.
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Features
INTEREST
Top Ten societies you should know Rachel Botsis AS USUAL, O-Week dominated most freshers’ attention as societies vied for sign-ups. “Hi there! You look like a gymnast, you can sign up here!” or “Hello. We are the Ba’hai Faith. Yes, that’s right, what you’ve been looking for.” Or perhaps something a little more in-your-face: “COOOME JOIIIIN FILMMM SOC!!!” Realistically though, it gets tricky trying to see what’s on offer when larger societies dominate. What follows is a selection of smaller societies which are really worth some consideration. PHOTOSOC The photosoc is deinitely a society that shouldn’t go unnoticed, even if you only have the mildest interest in photography. For only R90 a year, the society offers beginners courses in photography, so you don’t have to feel intimidated if you’re not an arty farty photographer yet! There are outings, workshops and competitions and an opportunity to begin excelling in something that you have a speciic interest in. ULTIMATE Ultimate, previously known as Ultimate Frisbee is a fast-paced non-contact sport with similar characteristics to American football, netball and soccer. The society is growing rapidly at UCT and is led by people who are extremely passionate about what they do. Ultimate is also becoming involved in social outreach projects such as SHAWCO. TABLE TENNIS SOC This is just one big vibe! If you’re not so sporty but have loads of enthusiasm, give table tennis a go! The atmosphere in this society is reason enough to join, and you are
guaranteed copious amounts of fun. ZOO BOTS This is a society for those people who have a craving and interest in the outdoors. The society doesn’t just focus on one aspect of the outdoors but rather takes on a fun and general adventurous nature…into nature. Their aims are to explore the beautiful realms of our country whilst having fun and meeting people with the same outlook in life. WINESOC The question to pose here is very simple. Why not join Winesoc? Winesoc epitomises the journey of a university student: we’re all trying to have a huge amount of fun while at the same time trying to develop into mature adults. Winesoc allows for the perfect balance, no? PAINTBALL SOC You get to shoot people and it’s legal! Is there a better form of destressing? Now, I’m not a fan of violence but when it comes to a day starting with a tut in irst and a seminar in eighth, you just have to let off some steam! Get into a jumpsuit, put on a mask, hide your identity, and SHOOT! If you show some skill, the society will enter you on a competitive level. Bonus: the society has their own guns. EQUAL EDUCATION Equal Education is not a society as such, but rather a movement of learners, teachers, parents and community members striving for equality and quality in education within South Africa. The members of Equal Education use approaches of activism and set up activities that analyse the education situation
NO HOLDS BARRED – Societies promote themselves on Jammie Plaza during 0-Week. Picture: Michael.currin.co.za
and then bring abut change. Some examples of their projects are: Free the Books (a campaign to donate books to empty school libraries), Fix Our Schools Campaign (Equal Education succeeded in getting government to ix 500 broken windows at a high school in Khayelitsha along with fencing and doors.)
that’s what makes Wargamingsoc so elite. For those of you who aren’t familiar with wargaming jargon, if you ind the society and if you sign up, you’d be playing trading card games, playing with igurines and army battles using ADAD – Advanced Dungeons and Dragons…get prepared.
WARGAMING SOC Never heard of it? That’s because it is so incredibly underground. It’s a sneaky society illed with ‘uber-nerds’. If you relate to the name, you’ll relate to the game and
UNDERWATER CLUB What would be cooler than taking a break from life on land for a few hours? Mingle with the mermaids and swim with the star ish. You’ll have met interesting people, seen interesting things and will be ready
to hit life on land for another few days. ASTRONOMY CLUB One of the reasons why this society made it on to the list is because there is only one like it. It’s not necessarily the actual society that makes it worth being a part of, more the essence of what they do. Taking part in the star gazing and understanding of our world’s astronomy with this society is a decision that will only reap positive beneits.
UCT Lingo: every fresher’s guide to UCT social vocabulary T
H
times and dope Posting: waiting Bleak: sad or over it (usually used after a rough day or a failed test) Las: When something is a mission to do It’s chilled: it’s ine or it’s ok Young: has nothing to do with
WHAT most irst years will notice as they wander around UCT campus, is the proliferate rate at which students use UCT Lingo. It will become salient that you grasp the meanings of these words as a means of communicating with your “cool” peers. The irst rules to be mindful of: forget everything your high school English teacher taught you, keep an open mind, and most importantly, context precedes content.
“
If you get DPR for a course or you are academically excluded “it’s late for you”.
“
It was found that the supposed “lexicographers” of the UCT Lingo dictionary can be found in the RAG ofices on level 5 of the Steve Biko building. One of the irst of these that you will hear is the expression “It’s late for you”. Before you attach any connotation of time to this expression you must note that it has nothing to do with not being on time. What this expression simply means (depending on the context) is that there is nothing you can do to redeem yourself. Hypothetically, if you get DPR for a course or you are academically excluded “it’s late for you.” However, the meaning is not rigid
THE IN-CROWD – UCT students have developed a language of their own. and depends highly on the context. If you still don’t know how to use it, “it’s late for you”. A second expression is “The way…though”. The primary use of the words “the way” is used an opening statement into any conversation, and the secondary use of the word “though” serves
the same function as a closing statement. In the context of a conversation about a great weekend, one would say, “The way we had fun in Long Street though”. Here are some more words and their UCT Lingo-assigned meaning:
Picture: Michael.currin.co.za
Hacked: mad Launched: has a double meaning, it could either mean (1) People have left you, or (2) People convincing you to do something you don’t want to do. Top times: self explanatory, a good time Nake: really drunk Tope: is a hybrid of the words top
age, this word in UCT Lingo is non-speciic and is reliant on context, i.e. to attend a young function. Dipout: to leave Aces: on your own Swak days: a bad day Hopefully this young explanation of UCT Lingo has brought some clarity into the future conversations you will engage in. The way it will be late for you if you still don’t understand though, but don’t be bleak – hopefully you will bump into a chilled UCT student who is willing to school you further. And with that, let me dipout erbody!!!
Sports
17
18
Sports
ICC Cricket World Cup Guide Andrew Giliam IT HAS been a lengthy twelve years since any nation other than Australia has even had a sniff at the ICC Cricket World Cup trophy. Yet, as the cricket world makes its way to the subcontinent for the tenth instalment of the Cricket World Cup, the title is once again up for grabs. This time, it’s literally anyone’s game with at least six teams who are in strong contention to win the trophy. Favourites Australia, fresh from a grand summer of One Day International cricket, will fancy their chances of a fourth consecutive title. Shane Watson has proved an invaluable weapon to both their batting and bowling line-ups and with ive ODI centuries in the last three years, including a recent 161* against England, he enters the World Cup in the best form of his life. The 29-year-old has a knack for taking big wickets at crucial moments and if Australia is going to defend their title, Watson will be an important cog in their commanding machine.
A great deal of South Africa’s success is dependent on the itness of Kallis and the side will look to him to bolster what has been a somewhat brittle middle order over the course of the summer. However with Lonwabo Tsotsobe, Morné Morkel and Johan Botha in excellent bowling form, the South Africans may be quietly conident of World Cup success this time around. Host nations India and Sri Lanka are possibly the tournament favourites. India boasts veterans such as Virender Sehwag, Gautam Gambhir and Sachin Tendulker, who has scored more runs than any other player in World Cup cricket history. Yet, joining the old guard are new faces Virat Kohli and bludgeoner Yusuf Pathan who are both in sublime form. With Zaheer Khan and Harbhajan Singh leading the bowling outit it is dificult to see India crumbling, especially on home soil. Sri Lanka has one of the more balanced squads in this year’s competition. Going into the tournament ranked third in the world and playing in familiar conditions they will fancy themselves as serious contenders. Their self-conidence will be
“HOWZAT!” – The tenth Cricket World Cup gets uderway on the subcontinent on 19 February. Will Australia secure their fourth Picture: Gallo Images successive title? boosted by the explosive batting of Tillakaratne Dilshan and Kumar Sangakkara and their serious wicket-taking bowlers Lasith Malinga and Ajantha Mendis.
“ The South African team is a largely unknown entity at this year’s tournament.
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The Proteas have selected a bizarre 15-man squad for the tournament. They have included an injured player in Jacques Kallis, an uncapped spinner in Imran Tahir and only four players with any World Cup experience. Having been tipped to win the World Cup on a number of occasions and labelled as ‘chokers’ after subsequent early exits, the South African team is a largely unknown entity at this year’s tournament. Their unpredictability may just work to their advantage.
Long-shots and Outsiders
Springbok Sevens Dominate in Las Vegas
Cup success. New Zealand have not been on the top of their game for a number of years and, with a rather unbalanced squad and little recent form to carry them, they are not expected to make it past the quarter inals. Both Pakistani and West Indian cricket has seen better days. Pakistan has been fraught with politics since the last World Cup and the West Indies have, for too long, shown too little ight and determination to contest this year’s World Cup. Placed in a group with South Africa, India, England and Bangladesh, they will be lucky to qualify for the quarter inals.
England and New Zealand have had less than satisfactory ODI series against Australia and Pakistan and will enter the World Cup as outsiders.
Minnow teams the Netherlands, Canada, Ireland, Zimbabwe and Kenya will appreciate the chance to play on the world’s greatest cricketing stage but have minimal hope in progressing further than round one.
Current Twenty20 world champs, England, have beneited from the recent batting form of Ian Bell and Eoin Morgan, but their bowling has looked lackluster and inexperienced. James Anderson, after recovering from a back injury sustained in the Ashes, will look to provide some seniority, but the English seamers have battled to ind their lengths and will go into the World Cup with little conidence – an important ingredient in World
The tournament is hosted by three countries and will be staged in thirteen stadia between fourteen teams. Expect ireworks and drama, mastery with the bat and ball, fanatic crowds and nail-biting ixtures, hard fought victories and the occasional upset. Prepare for a festival of cricket and the possibility of new champions come the 2 April.
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THE SOUTH African Sevens rugby team captured their irst HSBC Sevens World Series tournament title of the season with a superb 24-14 victory over Fiji in Las Vegas on Sunday. The Blitzbokke scored three tries in a dazzling irst half display to lead their nemesis 19-7 at halftime. Cecil Afrika, Chris Dry and Branco du Preez were the try scorers as South Africa raced into a deserved lead. Mitieli Nacagilevu and Watisoni Votu were the scorers for Fiji. However, the South African defence stood irm in the face of a huge physical challenge and the Springbok Sevens inally sealed the match after Bernado Botha showed great strength to power his way over despite the presence of several defenders. Springbok Sevens coach Paul Treu was understandably pleased and a very relieved man afterwards, saying, “I am absolutely delighted for the guys, even more so for the youngsters, who now know what it feels like to succeed at this level.” “It was good to have Cecil back in the team and he combined really well with Branco, who showed tremendous composure against England to put Cecil away for his important try. We showed more patience in the second half against England and the guys took that mentality into the inal, where we had a really good start,” he said in a post-match interview. Team captain and Ikeys old boy, Kyle Brown, singled out
the defence as one of the main contributing factors for their success in the USA. The turning point for the South African campaign was just after halftime in the thrilling 17-10 comeback victory over England semi-inal. Dan Norton and Tom Powell gave England a strong 10-0 lead at the break after the English dominated possession. South Africa restarted in much better fashion and they inally got onto the scoreboard after Afrika collected a clever chip from Du Preez, who spotted the absence of a sweeper as a result of the lat English defensive line. Afrika then converted Brown’s try to put SA in the lead (1410) and also converted a drop kick penalty with just seconds remaining on the clock to secure a irst Cup inal appearance for the team since Edinburgh 2009. The playmaker was clearly back to his best after he missed the Wellington event after sustaining a jaw injury. He combined well with Du Preez, who himself had a very good tournament, and also the promising teenager Paul Jordaan who played in only his second tournament after his debut in New Zealand a week ago. Afrika scored 54 points, the most by a player at the tournament, including ive tries. The next two tournaments take place next month in Hong Kong and Adelaide and a good showing at both these events could yet see South Africa challenge the leaders at the top of the HSBC Sevens World Series table.
19
Sports
THE DUGOUT Tarryn Steenekamp
POOR SHOW – SA’s Substandard Sports Broadcasting
SOUTH AFRICA - one of the most prominent and distinguished sporting nations on the planet - yet a country that lacks world-class sports broadcasting to match our luminous on-ield performances. From radio to television, the gap between South African broadcasting and that produced abroad remains wide. We’ve all been there; watching the seven o’clock news, deafened by a journalist trying to convey the latest sports results in a language that somehow sounds nothing like English. With shocking on-camera presence, poor pronunciation and a knowledge of sports on par with that of a 10-year-old, it incenses me that viewers are being subjected to sports anchors of this standard. It is also distressing that certain broadcasters have reverted to
employing famous sportsmen to provide sporting analysis for the sole purpose of increasing ratings, and have in the process tossed aside quality journalism. Instead of hiring a retired sports hack with absolutely no broadcasting experience, it would be better to employ individuals who are able to contribute a passion for sports, a deep understanding of the game as well broadcasting knowledge and lair. It is necessary to ind a healthy balance. I think I speak for the majority of sports fans when I say that we would rather hear the views of a professionally trained sports pundit, than have to endure a rugby player’s mediocre sports show on our radios each Saturday. The bottom line is, simply do not employ an individual unless they
are competent in both the areas of sports as well as broadcasting. Situated in Randburg Gauteng, South Africa’s premier sports broadcaster recently constructed a new multi-million rand high deinition studio in mid-2010. The studio houses state-of-theart recording, sound and lighting equipment, and is the irst studio of its kind on the African continent. While I believe the company should be applauded for their innovative work, their employment strategy leaves a lot to be desired for. When you have spent millions of rands on a ground-breaking studio, surely your objective would be to ill it with only the best sports journalists South Africa has to offer? Is it not a priority to ensure that the quality of your analysts is on par with your world-class equipment?
Ironically though, it seems these ‘channels of champions’ have made the crucial mistake of employing sub-standard journalists. Sky Sports is celebrated across the globe for its lawless sports coverage – from employing only the best journalists to providing perfect statistical analysis and a wide-range of coverage, they seem to have found the perfect broadcasting balance. Now, while I feel rather privileged to have an opportunity to watch four hours of Sky Sports on DStv each day, it puzzles me to think that one of our own local sports broadcasters is the channel providing this coverage. Yes, for four hours a day one can lip to channel 200 and watch arguably the best sports journalists in the world at work. Why on earth would you parallel award-winning international journalism with your
own channel’s mediocrity? leaves me dumbfounded.
It
The standard of sports broadcasting has long been deteriorating in our country and this issue needs to be rectiied. We have suficient talent in South Africa and have the facilities and equipment to compete with leading sports broadcasters around the globe, but this talent needs to be harnessed and not neglected. Aim to employ only the best individuals and establish yourself as a top broadcaster for the right reasons.
Tarryn Steenekamp is the Sports Editor of VARSITY newspaper.
La Liga: A Dull Tale of Two Clubs ONE OF the most exciting aspects of international sport is the pure unpredictability of the game. The unpredictable nature of football is particularly exciting and is present in almost every league in the world – barring one: the Spanish La Liga, where European giants FC Barcelona and Real Madrid continue to dominate week in and week out. In other leagues around the world there is constant change; eras and cycles come to an end – but not in the Spanish La Liga. The mere thought of a team other than Real Madrid or Barcelona winning the league is incomprehensible. Every team focuses on Barcelona’s and Madrid’s every move, hoping that this will be the game where they will inally lose. A draw by Barcelona or Madrid in the La Liga these days can certainly be considered a defeat by Pep Guardiola and José Mourinho respectively. A narrow victory by a single goal is considered a defeat. Since the start of the Spanish season, Barcelona have won 20 of the 22 games they have played and Real Madrid have won 17 of their 22 games. Two of the world’s best footballers, Lionel Messi and Christiano Ronaldo, have both scored 24 goals respectively, which is an average of more than a goal a game. How absurd, then, that some teams in the league have not even been able to score that number of goals combined. Last
season Real Madrid broke the points record in the La Liga but they unbelievably still did not win the league. Barcelona managed to accumulate a staggering total of 99 points, and this season they are on course to eclipse the 100-point mark. Over the past twenty years these teams have been denied lifting the La Liga trophy only four times.
“The mere thought of a team other than Real Madrid or Barcelona winning the league is incomprehensible.
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Thabang Letheo
Last year’s FIFA World Cup was the irst time in the history of the competition that the Spanish national team lifted the World Cup trophy. The starting line-up at the inal consisted of seven Barcelona players – Pique, Puyol, Busquets, Xavi, Iniesta, Pedro and David Villa – and three Real Madrid players – Casillas, Sergio Ramos and Xabi Alonso. Capdevilla of Villareal was the single Spanish club outsider. At the FIFA World Player of the Year gala event held
at the beginning of the year, the nominees for World Player of the Year, Messi, Xavi and Iniesta, were all from Barcelona FC – a strong indication of the abnormal strength of the current Barcelona team. The other teams in La Liga cannot compete as Barcelona and Real Madrid are internationally renowned clubs with monstrous revenue per annum. To splash out more than €30 million on a single player does not put a dent in either team’s budget, but rather a huge strengthening of their already strong arsenal. They are both ranked in the Top 50 of the Forbes Most Valuable Sports Teams, with Real Madrid ranked sixth and Barcelona coming in at 25th. They both earn within the region of €125 million in domestic rights; the next highest is La Liga’s Valencia on €42 million – and that is less than what an English Championship side like Middlesbrough receives. The Spanish La Liga is the only league where the outcome of a single campaign is a forgone conclusion before a ball is even kicked. The smaller teams cannot compete at all with these two giants, but they should not give up as young talent always starts off somewhere, and if they can develop their players from a young age, not let go of their stars and continue to build, they can deinitely compete. Clubs need to believe that they can put an end to this era of dominance.
NO FUEGO – Has the Spanish La Liga become the most mundane league in the world? Picture: Getty Images
Ikeys haven’t lost their bite
SPORTS BITES
performance when the teams clash at UCT on March 7. Fenton-Wells is keen to put the past behind him and says the team will take each game as it comes. “It is a new year and a new competition. We’re not looking into the past. With new coaching staff and a relatively new squad, comes new responsibility and we aim to focus on ourselves rather than constantly worry about the opposition.” The annual Varsity Cup tournament has established itself as one of the most supported rugby competitions in South Africa and this year’s sponsors FNB, Steinhoff, Black Label and Spur will aim to attract even more of a following.
FOOTBALL: Brazilian striker Ronaldo announced his retirement on Monday
Pink shorts and 23-man squads are here to stay in 2011, but Varsity Cup organisers have also gone the extra mile to create additional tournament hype for supporters. Fans can look forward to big screens with the advantage of match statistics and replays at all televised home games. Aside from the usual pitch-side hype, the 2011 Varsity Cup also has a new onield concept; ‘Rugby that Rocks’ segments that will take place after each ‘Strategy Break’, every twenty minutes. In these segments entertainment will be provided for fans and a pink ball will be brought onto the ield. “The crowds over the past three years have been brilliant and we’re hoping that this ‘Rugby that Rocks’ campaign will give them even more of an opportunity to get involved and spur the teams on. We want to energise the crowds and the players, and keep everyone involved throughout the matches,” Varsity Cup Managing Director Duitser Bosman explained. The Ikeys will play four pool matches at home over the upcoming month, and students are encouraged to “back their boytjies” as the men in blue work hard to get their paws on this year’s Varsity Cup!
“BACK YOUR BOYTJIES” – 2011 Ikeys Captain Nick Fenton-Wells hopes to bring the Varsity Cup home this season.
Tarryn Steenekamp THE FOURTH FNB Varsity Cup presented by Steinhoff International is already in full swing and UCT Ikeys fans can no doubt look forward to another thrilling season that remains. The Ikeys got their season off to a positive start with a 26–12 win over FNB Shimlas in Bloemfontein, but things are about to heat up at home as the team prepare to do battle with the the NMMU Madibas on the Green Mile next Monday. New coach Kevin Foote is looking forward to the clash and hopes Ikeys fans will throw their weight behind their team and show support in numbers this year.
Picture: Gallo Images
“A packed Green Mile always means so much to all of the players and it is a great opportunity for the boys to thank the supporters by playing a brilliant brand of rugby,” Foote told VARSITY Sport. Foote also made it clear that the team’s biggest goal for the season remains squad development. “Our biggest goal is to turn the players into excellent leaders and ambassadors for UCT and the country. Of course we want to win but we are focused on remaining balanced, decent men.” Captain Nick Fenton-Wells also highlighted the importance of crowd support and told VARSITY Sport that he aims to do UCT
21 February, 7pm:
UCT vs NMMU
“Captaining the Ikeys is an honour. You need look no further than my predecessors to understand what pride I take in being handed this responsibility,” he said.
28 February, 5pm:
The Ikeys have made it to two Varsity Cup inals in the last three years and, on both occasions were beaten by three-time champions Maties. They will look to overcome the Maties hoodoo this season and will hope to put in a strong
RUGBY: The Stormers’ Tiaan Liebenberg out for nine months following ACL tear.
2011 Home Fixtures
proud this season as he leads his team in 2011.
“The passion within our side is overwhelming and we’re all motivated to play for each other rather than each individual playing for personal gain.”
GOLF: Alvaro Quiros secures a one-shot victory at the Dubai Desert Classic.
FOOTBALL: West Ham FC win 2012 Olympic stadium bid.
UCT vs TUT 7 March, 5pm:
UCT vs Maties 14 March, 7pm:
UCT vs UJ
RUGBY: England hammer Italy 59–13 in the second round of the RBS 6 Nations.