2011: Edition 5

Varsity THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN

The Grape Escape

19 April 2011

Volume 70: Number 5

021 650 3543

page 15

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Dinner with Malema IN THIS ISSUE

Thandokazi Hlwatika

A

FRICAN NATIONAL Congress Youth League (ANCYL) president Julius Malema was a keynote speaker at a dinner organised by the South African Union of Jewish Students (SAUJS) on Friday 8 April at the Gardens in Cape Town.

In his address entitled “Do current institutions provide a platform for active citizenship?”, Malema contended that institutions in place do have platforms that encourage active citizenship, but it is up to citizens to utilise these platforms to their full capacities.

Malema also encouraged white youth in South Africa to become more active and visible in national celebrations, such as those held on Youth Day, saying he feels there is a general lack of attendance from their side.

Malema went on to talk about the nationalisation of mines and banks in the country, saying that he viewed nationalisation as a salient foundation for the social development of our country. He then extended this argument saying that if these industries are nationalised, the funds acquired would be redistributed and invested into improving the country’s health sector, and expanding the state budget in its entirety.

In a question-and-answer session following the address, one attendee asked why people should vote for the ANC as opposed to other parties.

Malema answered that “only the ANC recognises rights and promotes gender equity. here are other parties

David Attenborough page 2

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS - The Ikeys do us proud at the Varsity Cup, held on Monday 11 April. whose cabinet looks like a boys’ choir; parties where women are only represented in posters as opposed to in reality”.

Ater implying that certain parties’ cabinets promote patriarchy, Malema then added that people should “vote against the ANC if [they] want open toilets”. Malema said that the ANC removed people from the bushes and built them houses with toilets – but added that these toilets may not be of the same standard as his toilet in Sandton.

Another question asked was why Malema thought he was so

misunderstood. Malema answered this by saying that he stands opposed to those who own the means of production, who own the media, the radio, and the economy. He also added that when he took up the struggle he knew it would not be easy.

these toilets may not be of the same standard as his toilet in Sandton Malema also touched on the media, saying that the media are talking about their own imaginations, and that is why they apologise to him “week ater week”.

However, he also said that negative media coverage does not impact him, as “they [the media] are trying to discredit him”. he ANCYL president took an insouciant stance to his controversial coverage in the media, saying “Our people listen to their leaders, our people don’t vote for editors”.

Upon enquiring on the motivation for inviting the Youth

Image: Gallo

League president to speak at the dinner, SAUJS indicated that they had identiied him as a magnate in South African politics, and that they envisage that he will become more inluential.

However, SAUJS added that their invitation did not imply a political alignment, saying that they have had prominent igures such as Helen Zille and Gareth Clif to speak at the same event in the past two years. he ANCYL president proved to be an entertaining speaker who managed to captivate his audience.

His prodigious passion in eradicating poverty and sharing the wealth of the country was evident to many at the event. “he ANCYL is a radical youth organisation and not a sweetheart organisation,” said Malema, holding irm to the view that the South African economy should become more self-sufficient as a means of becoming independent from other countries, and in efect removing the features of a colonial economy from the country.

Mankind vs. Mother Nature page 5

Love & Distance

Turkish Delight

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pages 11

2 NEWS BITES Gbagbo arrested in bunker ABIDJAN – Ivory Coast strongman Laurent Gbagbo was arrested in a bunker underneath his home on Monday 11 April, ending four months of conlict.

Internationally recognised presi-dent Alassane Ouattara, elected in November 2010, has conirmed that Gbagbo will face charges both nationally and internationally. Gbagbo’s arrest marks the “end of a chapter that never should have been,” said UN secretary-general Ban Ki-moon.

– Guardian & News24

Malema bodyguards bring rifles to court JOHANNESBURG – Bodyguards for ANCYL President Julius Malema caused a stir on Monday 11 April by entering the South Gauteng High Court carrying M14 assault riles. Equality Court Judge Collin Lamont halted proceedings in the hate speech trial to order that “people carrying arms” remove them immediately.

Malema faces charges of hate speech brought against him by lobby group AfriForum over his singing of the “Shoot the Boer” song.

– Iol & News24

Cosatu shows support for Swazi protesters MANZINI – Demanding multiparty democracy and protesting the slashing of civil servants’ salaries, teachers, students and activists in Swaziland protested against King Mswati III last week. he protests against Africa’s last absolute monarch were supported by the Congress of South African Trade Unions (Cosatu). At least 100 people have been detained in the unrest.

– Iol & News24

Police kill Ficksburg protester FICKSBURG – Video footage aired last week of a protester being beaten to death by at least six policemen has drawn international attention. ANC spokesperson Jackson Mthembu has condemned the incident, likening it to “apartheid-era police strong-arm tactics”. hus far no police have been suspended over the incident, but Captain Phumelelo Dlamini said that SAPS would investigate further.

– Times LIVE

Stephanie Venter

news David Attenborough thrills audience naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace and his research on birds of paradise, which led to the development of his own theory of natural selection independent of Charles Darwin.

Darwin had been working on his theory for twenty years when Wallace’s letter arrived

NATURAL CHARISMA - Attenborough wows the crowd with his thought-provoking speech.

Image: Rémy Ngamije

Marché Arends

A

WARD-WINNING BROADCASTER Sir David Attenborough delivered an entertaining keynote address as part of the Vice Chancellor’s open lecture series to a capacity crowd at the Baxter Concert Hall last Wednesday 13 April.

Attenborough, who has worked as a producer, television host and

nature conservationist for over 50 years, is perhaps most well-known for his BBC natural history series Life on Earth.

His presence at UCT garnered a great deal of attention, with Capetonians standing in line for hours to collect free tickets from the Baxter heatre ticket oice. he lecture, entitled “Alfred Russel Wallace and the Birds of Paradise,” explored the life of scientist and

Concerned CAS Students discuss merger Companies eye Karoo fracking Stephanie Venter A PANEL discussion organised by the “Concerned CAS Students” was held in the Centre for African Studies (CAS) building on hursday 14 April to discuss the proposed departmental merger within the Faculty of Humanities. he panel comprised chairperson of the Humanities Student Council (HSC) Mfundo Shabalala, student in the African Gender Insitute (AGI) Nasrin Olla, and VARSITY Opinions editor Tiffany Mugo.

Controversy has surrounded a proposal to merge the Centre for African Studies, the African Gender Institute, Linguistics, and Anthropology into a new department. his department would be temporarily called the Department of Anthropology, Linguistics and Gender Studies, and once fully merged, inally be entitled the New School for Critical Enquiry in Africa. he proposed merger was born from a decision taken by the management of the Faculty of Humanities not to allow departments of less than six people, according to Dr Andrew Speigel, Associate Professor in the Department of Social Anthropology.

CAS currently comprises two people, and AGI three. Linguistics has six staff members, and currently falls within the Department of English Language and Literature, while the Department of Social Anthropology is considerably larger.

Audience member Pierre Aycard

Dr M. R. Kalan and Associates

DENTAL SURGEONS

pointed out that should CAS and AGI not merge with other departments, their studies would be in jeopardy given the aforementioned decision regarding department size.

As the irst panellist to speak, Shabalala said the HSC has been let with many questions ater discussions with management about this merger.

There should be “anxiety when a department is not valued” Some questions raised by Shabalala and audience members included whether any courses would be discontinued in the merger, how the funding for the study of Africa would be affected, and how UCT felt this merger would assist its goal of being an “Afropolitan” university.

Olla spoke as a student in the AGI, and expressed support for Shabalala’s statements. here should be “anxiety when a department is not valued”, said Olla, adding that she felt CAS and AGI were not suiciently valued at the university.

Mugo stated VARSITY’s belief that as an African university, UCT should be committed to an Afropolitan identity, and thus supports any study of Africa. In her personal capacity, Mugo also added that students, staff, and academics alike need to sit down and igure out what they wanted. “It’s only when we stop talking and decide on a plan of action that involves students that things will happen,” said Mugo. he matter continues.

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Ater years of research on the birds of paradise in New Guinea, Wallace developed the ground-breaking theory on the natural world.

“It was there that he wrote, as he was lying in his hammock in a malarial fever one night, the theory of natural selection leading to evolution of species,” said Attenborough.

Wallace then sent it to Darwin to establish whether it was of any merit.

According to Attenborough, Darwin had been working on his own theory of natural selection for nearly twenty years when Wallace’s letter arrived.

“What was he to do now?

Suddenly, this man who he’d only been corresponding with as another

naturalist got exactly the theory he had been working on for the best part of his life.”

Darwin’s response was to publish an abridged version of his work as he Origin of Species earlier than he had anticipated. Attenborough explained that Wallace was not angered by Darwin’s decision.

“You might think that Wallace had every reason for being jealous and feeling that Darwin had stolen his thunder—Darwin ater all had published that book and the theory was called Darwinism—but not at all,” he said.

Wallace was later recognised for his work and awarded several academic honours from around Europe. he lecture concluded by engaging with audience members on a variety of topics, from the importance of taxonomy as the foundation of natural science to the development of the camera in facilitating broadcast journalism. Attenborough kept the audience enthralled with his charismatic manner and wealth of knowledge.

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used in this process are toxic and can, according to cases documented in America – where fracking has Residents of the Karoo are been most extensively used – concerned by applications made pollute the area’s groundwater. by multiple energy producing Fracking involves tens of companies to mine natural gas in thousands of boreholes and billions the area, using a method known of litres of water, something that as hydraulic fracturing (otherwise residents of the already waterknown as “fracking”). strained area ind disconcerting.

Oil giant Shell has thus far Global warming activist received the brunt of the backlash Lewis Pugh has appealed to the over these plans, South African but it has recently Falcon Oil and Gas government not to been discovered that and Sunset Energy grant permission for Falcon Oil and Gas fracking, saying that and Sunset Energy also intend to mine “Africa is to Shell what in the area also intend to mine the Gulf of Mexico is in the area. to BP”. Pugh added A group made up of Sasol, that fracking would be a violation American Chesapeake Energy, of the Constitutional right of every and Statoil ASA has also applied to South African to a clean, safe and use the fracking process on a large healthy environment. amount of land.

Such statements have been Conducting hydraulic frac- echoed by opposition groups. “We turing, according to opponents, ask of the government to place a comes at the expense of the region’s total moratorium on gas exploration fragile underground water system. and natural gas development in However, companies looking to our country,” said the company’s conduct this process insist it is not chairperson, Pieter van Wyk, in harmful. Shell’s general manager their opening statement. for new ventures and international Shell’s application for exploration exploration, Graham Tiley, said rights in the South Western Karoo that the technique has been used Basin involves the submission of safely by the oil and gas industry their Environmental Management for more than 60 years.

Plan on 14 April to the Petroleum Fracturing is a process used to Agency of South Africa. If this is release natural gas trapped under approved, fracking in the Karoo the earth’s surface. he chemicals could begin next year.

news

3

Zapiro a surprise guest at Albie Sachs talk Olivia Wainwright & Kate Ahrends

D

ISCUSSING FREEDOM OF speech in particular relation to Zapiro’s controversial recent cartoon, former Constitutional Court Justice Albie Sachs addressed a packed Hiddingh Hall on hursday 7 April. Surprise guests in the audience of mainly students and staf included Jonathan Shapiro himself and Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) activist Zackie Achmat.

Sachs discussed the ongoing court case between Jacob Zuma and Zapiro, in which President Zuma is suing the well-known political cartoonist for defamation of character. Revealing his acquaintances with both President Zuma and Zapiro and his deep respect for both men, Sachs spoke of the signiicance of debate and dialogue within South African communities.

While emphasising the importance of satire in society, he reminded the audience of the power of words, and that freedom of speech comes with responsibility.

Humour plays an important role

in democracy, said Sachs: “Humour allows some of the most painful dramas of life to be dealt with … humour becomes a solvent of democracy, an important ingredient in a democratic society.” Sachs was, however, careful to add that as well as humour, it is important to employ sensibility within freedom of speech, saying that “orators should be daring, but they must have enlarged hearts and sensibilities”.

there is a real tension between freedom and total liberty, and the impact that they can have on other human beings Taking questions, Dr Sachs was asked about the ine line between freedom of speech and hate speech, and what he thought the outcome of the Zuma–Zapiro court case should be.

With political activist and TAC chairman Zackie Achmat requesting a response, Sachs said that he felt it

would be “inappropriate” for him to convey his feelings on the matter.

Shapiro then stood up and said he had known he was taking a risk with his cartoon, but he had weighed the consequences and ultimately “felt lucky to be able to intervene”.

Sachs is recognised as an expert in the ield of freedom of expression, having delivered a speech on this subject in March as keynote speaker at the Time of the Writer Festival in Durban.

In addition to discussing freedom of expression, Sachs also discussed the tragedy of the loss of an arm and the sight in one eye, the result of a car-bomb planted by the apartheid government during the tumultuous late 1980s. his traumatic experience shaped his views and had an inluence on his role within the Constitutional Court, said Sachs.

Sachs ended the lecture with words of advice for the audience: “Be daring, be unafraid, be sensitive … there is a real tension between freedom and total liberty, and the impact that they can have on other human beings.”

NO JOKE - Sachs captivates the audience with his informative talk on freedom of speech and satire.

Image: Rachel van Blerk

UCT considers race-based societies All university students to learn African language?

Tiffany Mugo

O

n Monday 11 April the Student Representative Council (SRC) discussion series “To whom does UCT belong?” continued with a lunchtime discussion entitled “Black Women’s Forum? White Students’ Society? Should we support singledemographic societies at UCT?”. he panel consisted of head of the Philosophy Department Professor David Benatar, Black Management Forum Projects Oicer Ronald Phefo, Professional Women’s Network Vice-Chairperson Olwethu Moleklane, and SRC Transformation Oicer Lethu Shange.

Held in the Leslie Social foyer, the discussion was one of a week of lunchtime discussions meant to tackle what unites or divides the university.

societies merely reinforced racial inequality and the ideals upon which discrimination is based Views by the panellists were varied, with some panellists questioning the nature of these societies and others advocating the need for them.

Some students felt the panel selection was unbalanced, with Benatar overshadowing the other panellists. Others stated that Leslie Social proved a poor choice of venue, with some panellists’ voices being drowned out by the lunchtime rush.

First to speak was Phefo, who advocated for the formation of singledemographic societies because of the need within society to provide support and development to those who would not ind it elsewhere.

“Black people need to develop business skills,” said Phefo.

Shange agreed, stating that these societies were “necessary drivers

Vuyile Mahlangeni of transformation,” and were in existence to redress the problems brought about post-democracy.

Moleklane also agreed with this stance, saying that there was a need for societies to understand the needs of professional young women.

However, Benatar proposed a diferent point of view by questioning the basis of these societies, stating that he was making these points to “challenge” people’s thinking.

Benatar also said that one must be “cautious in entering that terrain”.

He queried why a society based on mutual interest shouldn’t be based on the interest, rather than race. Benatar took his argument further by stating that one could not advocate for a society based on one race, but object to that based on another.

Students also had the chance to air their views. SRC Entertainment Co-ordinator Ross Hare argued that societies based on race proved an “easy way out,” and that these societies merely reinforced racial inequality and the ideals upon which discrimination is based. his feeling was reiterated by History and Current Afairs Society chair Michael Moss, who stated that the way to redress issues of the past was not to use “race as a proxy”.

On the other hand, some students pressed the need for such societies in light of the inequality faced by some within the professional realm.

“Black students are at a disadvantage in the law profession from the day they walk in till the day they retire,” argued Anelisa Keke, vice chair of the Black Law Students’ Forum. She further argued that one cannot ignore the race issue as it is still relevant and organisations based on race speak frankly about issues not oten discussed.

One other student spoke out against a “white management forum”, claiming that it already existed as the whole system was based on white management.

I

T COULD soon be compulsory for students enrolled in a South African university to learn an African language as a graduation requirement, according to a proposal put forward by Higher Education and Training Minister Blade Nzimande.

Speaking at the launch of the new Teacher Education and Development Plan in Pretoria on Tuesday 5 April, Nzimande said in Zulu, “We can’t be expected to learn

English and Afrikaans yet they don’t learn our languages”.

Nzimande has reportedly deployed a panel to look into the viability of this proposed plan, according to News24. Reviving African languages in universities will be his ministerial priority, said Nzimande. he proposal has proved controversial, but some organisations have expressed support for the idea.

Among these is the Pan South African Languages Board (PanSALB). Chris Swepu, acting

CEO of PanSALB said that PanSALB seconds Nzimande’s call and believes all students stand to beneit from it.

He further proposed that the government make it a requirement for all public service employees to know at least one African language.

Although the aim of this plan is to improve the quality and supply of African language teachers in the South African education system, it appeared that its implementation strategies would afect all university students, not just those studying to teach.

“It would be diicult to learn another language considering that we are Engineering students – we just don’t have the time. He should also be thinking of all the students here who are not African, how will this beneit them?”

Faiza Malllick

Kadirauen Goinden

“I think it is good. It will encourage inter-cultural communication.”

“I don’t think it is a good idea because of time; I mean where would an Actuarial Science student get the time to it in a language course for example?”

Arthur Gajewski and Michelle Fang “It is a terrible idea, aren’t English and Afrikaans African languages as well? Those should be enough; we don’t think it’s necessary.”

Naomi Johnson and Samantha Ndiwalana “But why is English not enough because it is one of the eleven oicial languages? And the issue will be which African languages the institutions will ofer. What makes one language more African than another?”

Amy Montgomery and Melissa Smit

Gabriella Frank and Nastassja Nunes

“We think it’s a pretty good thing especially because we live in an African country. Everyone has to learn English it’s only fair that we also get a chance to learn indigenous languages.”

4

opinions

Editorial

Nyasha Kadandara

Trust and Believe

Editor-in-Chief

Blast from the Past? Stay there!

Social networking is oten stupid, and for a variety of reasons; one that gets to me is the unofficial “handshake” from what we call blasts from the past. You know, that random friend request or message from someone who barely even acknowledged your existence in school/at work/etc.

It’s cute, on one level. Let’s reconnect! We’re all friends now because we’re older and more fab!

Kum by ah!

Please.

Granted, diferent people use online proiles for diferent things: when I was 12, my online proile

Has Anyone Seen Equality Lately?

O

this case, has anyone ever seen this alleged equality? If so, what is it?

Is equality seeing a white petrol attendant or a black female president of AngloGold? Does it mean that those who didn’t have in the past will now have? What about those who were previously privileged; what will happen to them? Will they the share their things, have less or stay as they are? he world has never been fair game for all, and we are not all equal.

When I hear that the Palestinians and the Israelis are still bombing each other, I wonder if there was ever a time when there was peace in the Gaza Strip? Moreover, has there ever been a time when men and women were equal; Blacks and Whites? So why do we tussle over these issues when we don’t even know what it means for us to be all equal?

In a recent Business Strategy lecture, we watched a video on how women are taking over the world. he video explained that since the recession, more women have moved into top management while men are taking the back seat, and that the world would have to accommodate for women in power.

Is this equality? I just wonder, as we are all yet to see, how exactly this equality looks. It looks like we are inding it hard to deine.

ne

op ws in io fe ns at ur es sp o co rts nf er en im ce ag e ed s ito ria l ad s hr

ver the last month or so, I have been attending various uncomfortable conversations on campus; conversations entitled “Black Rights and White Fears”, “A-Typical Coloured Exploration: Exploring Coloured Identity”, “To Whom Does UCT Belong?”.

What’s uncomfortable about these conversations is the sense that we are forced to address controversial issues surrounding race and transformation on UCT and the society.

We spend a lot of time meeting and talking to each other, but very little changes. Black people remain angry, while white people remain ashamed about their privileged backgrounds, and coloured people are still considered as neither here nor there. None of us asked to be born into the situations we were born into, and yet we ind ourselves making apologies for who we are, whether we are black, or white, or coloured, or Indian or a shade inbetween. he one thing that always fascinates me at these debates is all this talk of equality. What is this equality thing you talk about? In life we aim to achieve certain goals, ones that for the most part we know are actually unattainable. We want things that already exist. So, in

@varsitynewspaper.co.za 2011 collective editor Nyasha Kadandara deputy editor Nkosiyati Khumalo news Stephanie Venter & Lyndall Thwaits opinions Tiffany Mugo & Berndt Hannweg features Marché Arends & Thandokazi Hlwatika Design Nic Botha images Jessica Christie, Rachel Dolye & Michael Currin web Azhar Desai & Chris Linegar human resources Caterina Aldera & Chido Mpemba advertising Sizwe Moagi marketing Rémy Ngamije OPERATIONS Candy Peck CONFERENCE team Florentina Swigelaar & Odwa Sihlobo sub editors Rhynhardt Krynauw, Claire Louise Hunter, Jess Lewer, Joy Mojela, Sakhi Gcina, Stuart MacDonald, Candice Newton staff writers Calvin Scholtz, Pasqua Heard, Olivia Wainright, Michelle October, Thabang Letheo, Lauren-Kate Stewart, Ehrard Vermak, Iman Latief, Kathy Verhoeven, Nick Corbett, Ali Karp, Kevin Minofu, Kurt Duvel, Katherine Verhoeven, Danielle Barnes, Anton Taylor, Andrew Gilliam, Georgia Rycrot, Rachel Botsis, Mon-Cheri Baatjes, Bushra Gules, Nicholas Bodenstein, Sajjad Karasmi, Kate Ahrends photographers Rudi Botha cartoonist Julian Nkuna

OFFICE: Room 5.20, Level 5, Steve Biko Building

Nkosiyati Khumalo, Deputy Editor said I was a 24-year old stockbroker living in NYC, information I used to develop a relationship with my girlfriend Stormy who lived in the great state of Maine. (We broke up ater two days, due largely in part to ice storms that cut of her internet. he one that got away...) Other people take them more seriously.

My point is, what motivates you to “reconnect” with someone with whom you barely interacted? What would you even talk about? Hi/how are you/where are you/what are you doing? If you never cared before, why start now? Get of the internet and go live life!

Newsgathering: Tuesday, 19 April, 1pm LS2D DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS: 27 April

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR UCT exploiting students for parking (5 April 2011) While I was pleased to see that VARSITY is investigating the chronic parking issue at UCT, I also think that this persistent problem remains unresolved, despite the extensive media coverage. his issue needs a great deal of further investigation, if it is to be solved once and for all. Mr Critien’s statement of “that’s just the way it is” simply doesn’t console me, nor does the 3 500 other concerned UCT students who have no other option of transport other than to travel by car. he parking situation

at UCT should no longer be a consideration or point of neglect, but, rather, the situation should be recognized as dire. A solution to the problem should now be moved from possibility to priority.

Student drivers should not have to miss classes because of parking problems and we should not have to be subjected to additional stress of securing a spot every morning.

Many of us live outside of Jammie Shuttle range and cannot risk (or ind) parking of-campus due to extra costs and security. How

about improving the Shuttle routes by running Jammies for students living outside the Southern Suburbs? A longer distance route for outlying students would reduce the number of drivers coming into campus every morning. I also feel that the discs themselves should be limited to an equal bay/disc ratio. he current overrun of discs to limited bays suggests that UCT is proiting from this dilemma at the continued expense of its students.

Aimee Dyamond

Response to ‘The Politics of Being Poor and White’ (5 April 2011) Matthew v.d. Westhiuzen’s article “he Politics of Being Poor and White” in the last issue of VARSITY contains many objectionable and unveriied claims, both explicit and implicit.

Perhaps the most obvious is his assumption that white South Africans are somehow entitled to maintain the standard of living accorded to them under Apartheid. his is to miss the point of a free, democratic society – one in which no group retains institutionallybacked privilege (black South Africans, by the way, are not privileged; in fact, having had their social capital systematically eroded for centuries they are emphatically underprivileged, even

now). Freedom involves freedom to fail as well as to succeed. If Matthew has an issue with the fact that the vulnerable of society are systematically exploited then his problem is not the South African society, it is capitalism.

Unemployment rates among white South Africans, while rising, are not rising as fast as other racial groups. Indeed, the unemployment rate among white South Africans remains under 6%, which is less than a quarter of the national average. It seems that Matthew laments the fact that, for the irst time ever, white South Africans are faced with the same challenges as everyone else. As for the assertion that white South Africans have been

cast into the political wilderness: as long as they continue to think along racial lines, they will be. Once they unshackle themselves from the racial prism they will see that there are a wealth of political parties that are non-racial and pro-poor. hen again, heaven forbid they forget they are white. hey may end up living in the townships. Sies! hey may even be forced into other sorts of crime, like robbery, hijacking, and murder. his may be a good thing, because certain sectors of society might inally be convinced that crime is motivated by poverty, not the inherently violent nature of the “lower classes”...

Riaz Arbi

CPS, to serve and protect? (15 March 2011) I was reading through the third edition of VARSITY and came across the CPS/Blue route article and I remembered something I witnessed a week ago. I was driving to the airport, early morning, and whilst passing through Mowbray I witnessed something quite horrible and frightening. I saw what I can only assume was a “pimp” violently assaulting two ladies and actually stopped my vehicle to see if there was something I could do. As I got out of the car another guy arrived and joined in on the attack and at

this point I felt a bit uncomfortable and concerned for my safety, so I did not carry on with my plan to stop this altercation. I did however manage to ind a CPS guard walking down the street and asked him if he could help, and his response before even assessing the situation was “I’m of duty and I am going home” and then proceeded to cross the road so as to avoid this situation in its entirety. his response shocked me and it got me thinking about just how safe we are with the CPS’ presence

on campus. I understand that they are employed to protect the student body and it’s not part of the job description to deal with “out of UCT” situations, but surely he could have acted like he actually gave a damn. What if this situation actually involved a student. Would he have just carried on his merry way just because he had clocked out? Surely someone in such a position should care just a bit more – or at least pretend.

Delroy Guzha

opinions

Nutters, or the bearers of truth?

5 Speak Easy

Tiffany Mugo

Live like no-one is watching I

Image: Rachel Doyle

Kathy Verhoeven

W

hen we think of a conspiracy theorist, most of our minds wander to a man with an overgrown beard, and a little too much time on his hands, living in his parents’ basement. However, could there be more to these theorists than the stereotype suggests?

You should also keep in mind that there are diferent types of conspiracy theorists out there. For example, there are those who believe that governments are deceiving their nations because of greed or desire for political power; and there are those who believe that members of government are evil, morphinic lizard-aliens who are trying to take over Earth. However, it is not fair to put them all in the same group.

Some of the more, let’s say, “free thinking” conspiracy theorists have come up with some really interesting ones. According to some, Paul McCartney of he Beatles actually died in 1967, but was replaced by a look-alike in order to spare the public grief. hey claim that there are signs in the group’s lyrics that point towards this. And amazingly,

the look-alike even has the same chops as McCartney did! Another theory is that KFC chicken contains a chemical that can render black men sterile. his comes from a rumour that Colonel Sanders was part of the KKK and the clan is now supposedly running the chicken franchise. his theory prevails, despite zero evidence of its legitimacy. I think

Another theory is that KFC chicken contains a chemical that can render black men sterile that these people are just looking for a little excitement in their lives. hey have no basis on which to stake their claims besides some outof-the-box thinking caused either by hallucinogens or too much free time. he evidence is stacked against them.

Most people used to give a shrug and a laugh, saying “oh those silly conspiracy theorists” when someone mentioned a planned 9/11 or faked moon landing. his was of course until Wikileaks gained popularity last year, as they claimed to air governments’ dirty laundry. People

started to realise that governments were not quite as honest and transparent as they seemed. A study at Ohio University showed that more than a third of citizens believe that the US government had something to do with the 9/11 attacks. here are things about 9/11 that the US government cannot explain, such as the lack of physical evidence at certain crash sites. No one wants to believe that their government (their protector) is capable of killing thousands of their own citizens for the sake of money and power.

It is a far-fetched idea, but it is not impossible. he truth is that there are things in this world that do seem somewhat suspicious. Although I highly doubt our leaders are alien lizard-people bent on destroying our species, we can never be sure that some of these conspiracy theorists are not right. here will forever be holes in history. And when there are holes, there will always be humans trying to ill them, either by justifying them or by creating theories about their explanations that may seem crazy to some. We have no right to judge these people though, even if some of them do live in a basement.

n our day and age, we live according to an array of social rules. Some of them make sense, like “Don’t move into your neighbour’s house when they go away on holiday,” or “Do not stab people in the taxi to Wynberg.”

And the one that a friend of mine saw in Nigeria: “Do not defecate of this bridge.” hese are sensible rules that bring order to society.

On the other hand, we have the unspoken ones that say dancing without music is strange, or having a full blown political debate with oneself is socially awkward.

Who made up these rules? Two weeks ago, I witnessed a homeless man having a conversation with himself. It was the most lively and spirited debate I’ve ever seen. And then I saw another homeless man break-dancing outside Wash and Web. He didn’t have a crew or the customary baggy pants, nor was he doing it for money. He was just busting a move. Both garnered strange looks, but they didn’t care. hey did what they wanted to do.

I have two people in my life who feed my ridiculousness and nourish my inner weirdo. People who call me strange.

However, I am never happier than when I am hosting my talk show with Nyasha on a random bench or couch (Troy and Abed, we did it irst.). he guests don’t know that they’re guests and spend most of the time trying to igure out where the cameras are. Or when we gallop around Leslie Social pretending to be horses. Or when I drop an a capella with KK about the

joys of mince. Never am I happier than the moments when we get “the looks”.

Sometimes one needs to do things for oneself, and forget about what people will think or say. his may involve dating that black dude your strict Afrikaans parents would have a coronary attack upon meeting; wearing that leopard print catsuit you have hidden away or simply breaking out a Michael Jackson impression at ZAR. It may also mean singing out loud to the Beyonce Live in London sound track at the gym, wearing mismatched socks with Capri pants and slippers, or just coming out to the world.

If you’re feeling beautiful, wear that of-the-shoulder dress and heels to campus; or if you’re feeling “fresh to death,” declare yourself deceased and let the haters do a post-mortem on how good you look. Don’t care what everyone thinks. Just. Do. It. As the poet Anis Mojgani said: “Rock out like the streets are empty except for you, your bicycle and your headphones. Rock out like you’ll never have to open up a textbook again. Rock out like you get paid to disturb the peace. Rock out like you got an empty appointment book and a full tank of gas. Rock out like you were the international ski-ball champion of the entire universe.”

I am not calling for anarchy where one is able to club baby seals and snif cocaine of tut desks.

I’m saying you should dance like the DJ is playing just for you, sing like you’re winning, and always remember to live like no one is watching.

The Day the Earth Crawled On Stuart MacDonald There is an old saying that says, “if something seems too good to be true, it usually is”. And, while many people around the world may have held their breath, I crossed my ingers. he US government shutting down because of apparent irreconcilable diferences in the recent budget? Please let it be so!

Unfortunately, after some “tough negotiations”, an “eleventh hour” agreement was reached, (it’s important to announce that an agreement is reached at the last possible moment to underline how hard our politicians work), and “he Day the Earth Stood Still” was replaced by “he Day the Earth Crawled On”.

What a scandal it might have been! his would have been the irst shutdown of US Congress since 1996. And not only would it have likely had a deleterious efect on proits in the economy when the stock market tumbled, but it would have also occurred whilst numerous hands were in numerous foreign cookie jars: “you want to tell us how to run our country when you can’t even run your own?”

It is always interesting to see how such prospects are received.

It really is a double-edged sword. he existence of major justiications that something isn’t working often brings people out in droves, calling for “change”. he problem is that these changes are not always good changes, especially when it comes to the United States.

One would hope that maybe it might cause a few people who deify American foreign policy and their “model democracy” to look into the facts a little to justify said idolisation rather than taking it on blind faith.

However, it could have also had the opposite efect. What begun was a nationwide movement that would see an administration elected that would perpetuate the imperialiststyle invasions of numerous “developing countries”, a mantle that has seemingly been taken up with great enthusiasm by Barack Obama.

It is both interesting and somewhat sad to see the manifestations of this paranoiac blind faith in public postings.

One individual I came across, who I am fairly sure was posting from Africa, added the comment:

“he prospect of USA Govt shutting down is terrifying. his should not be allowed to happen. he terrorists must be watching with glee at the unfolding events in the USA.” he simple fact that the individual in question speaks of those ever present opportunists, “the terrorists”, just underlines the efects of the continuous dissemination of paranoia during the Bush administration by the likes of Bush, Rumsfeld, Cheney, et al. his was done by forever perpetuating the idea that terrorists were around every corner and desired nothing more than the rape, pillage, and murder of every “Westerner” in the world; because of jealousy and the inherent failures of Islam ideology, of course. It reminds us of the very real and disheartening

efects that such political bullying and fear-mongering have on the general public.

My point is that irstly, it would be nice to see more people critically engage with the world and what’s going on in it. Secondly, surely the West demonising Gaddai for his comments about Al-Qaeda, drugs, and foreign opportunists being behind the recent uprisings in Libya is a manifestation of the pot calling the kettle black?

Disclaimer The Varsity Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the university community or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective or its advertisers

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opinions

Mankind vs mother nature T

he earthquake in Japan let in its wake devastation the likes of which could only be compared to the atermath of the atomic bombs in 1945. his time, however, it was the wrath of a much less tangible party that brought on the destruction.

It seems that we live from day to day with the happy and (very oten) unquestioned notion that we, as human beings, have total control of the world around us. Nevertheless, every so oten Mother Nature serves up a brutal reminder of who’s really in charge, and our concrete dreams crumble with one belch from the earth’s abdomen.

We’ve all heard clichés like “together we can move mountains”.

But how stark is the contrast when the mountains actually move themselves?

As humans, our weakness is vanity.

We love to believe that our powersuits and global networks have tamed the world, but in confronting a raw natural force they’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

In truth, we can’t stop a tsunami or end an earthquake; all we can do is watch. And the strangest thing is that aterwards, despite all our shock and devastation, the world keeps turning,

and we are yet again reminded of our own insigniicance.

Like the quarterback with no guard, we’re blindsided by our own failure to realise that we’re guests on this planet. Unlike the good ones who fold their used hand-towels, we’ve grown so used to throwing them on the loor that when

We love to believe that our power-suits and global networks have tamed the world something disrupts our careless reverie, it throws us into a state of disbelief. Ater all, as humans we have been called the “smallpox of the earth,” and perhaps the earth has decided to start her treatment. We marched in here, tools at the ready, and built cities where there were forests and drove cars where there were animals, all the while spouting the propaganda of our wonderful collective conscience. Somehow one can’t help wondering if these natural disasters are Earth’s not-so-little warning that we’re about as much appreciated as a leaking cofee cup.

Scarier still than our ictitious control of earth is when our lovely

Image: flickr.com

Georgia Rycroft

creations begin to turn on us. How oten do we see those appalling ilms where machines suddenly come to life and kill humankind? he terrifying thing is that underneath the bad graphics and crude punchlines, Transformers 3 may actually have a point. When the homes in which we live become the wreckages in which

your career as a

we die, and our oh-so-clever nuclear power turns deadly, the nightmarish ilm comes a little too close to home.

At the end of the day, the battle with nature is one we will always lose, and while each time it ends up that we pick up the pieces and carry on, perhaps we should give it a little more consideration. And I don’t

Careers Calendar

lecturer VARSITY speaks to a cutting-edge researcher at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology:

Sharhidd Taliep PhD Exercise Science (UCT) research methodologies, research testing and data analysis, writingup journal articles for publications.

I also spend a signiicant amount of time dealing with students. his includes lecturing, supervision of postgraduates, and administration.

Interestingly, administration issues contribute to a large part of my day.

What is your current position and what is the name of your organisation?

Lecturer, Cape Peninsula University of Technology, Department of Sport Management.

Which factors ignited your interest in this position/organisation?

I was looking for an opportunity at an institution where I could conduct research and also have the chance to teach.

Describe some of your day-to-day responsibilities/experiences.

I spend a fair amount of time on research. his entails reading and analysing journal articles, devising

What part of your job do you love the most?

I love research. You are always learning, discovering, enhancing, innovating, and contributing to the scientiic world. he result we hope will beneit the South African and international community.

What are the key skills that have contributed to your success thus far?

Research skills, analytical thinking, patience, and perseverance (oten have to take 1 step back in order to take 2 steps forward). Got to be able to work within a team and tolerate people with diferent backgrounds, especially in our diverse country.

What research do you do? he majority of my research projects are aimed at improving

mean writing a stern letter to the newspaper about the harmful efects of nuclear fuel before going home to watch your HD television.

Perhaps it’s time that we took a long, hard look at the legacy we are leaving behind, before nature inds a complete vaccination for humankind.

the performance of cricket players. hese include research conducted in the ield of biomechanics, visual tracking, electroencephalography (EEG), visual perception, muscle strength, fatigue and bone mineral density of cricketers. However, I have a general interest in sports performance enhancement in all sports.

Other research projects that I am involved in include: Rugby and cricket transformation in SA and the efects of rooibos supplementation on exercise performance.

What challenges have you encountered? he biggest challenge is coping with all the administration work. As a scientist you want to research and teach. However, the process of grant application, equipment funding, budgets, and general administration takes too much of my time.

In retrospect, what advice can you give to students?

Obtaining a degree is not necessarily about knowing the content of the course but rather obtaining a methodology for achievement. his allows you to develop skills necessary for a successful career.

Career Awareness Talks All talks take place from 13h00 – 13h45 19 APRIL Preparing for Interviews & 3 MAY: Venue: LT1, Hoerikwaggo 5 MAY & 11 MAY:

CVs & Cover Letters Venue: LT1, Hoerikwaggo

12 MAY:

Rethinking your career Room 3B, Hoerikwaggo

Download the irst term’s schedule of Career Talks on www.careers.uct.ac.za

Mock Interview Programme Enquire about registration at CDP Reception APRIL: 18, 19, 20 MAY: 4, 9, 11

Hot opportunities Employer Partner Career Days on Mezzanine Level, Leslie Social Science 19 APRIL: KPMG 20 APRIL: Proctor & Gamble Presentations All presentations take place at 13h00 in Leslie Social Science 3B 20 APRIL: Proctor & Gamble Looking for a bursary/scholarship, vacation or graduate opportunity?

Visit www.careers.uct.ac.za/careerportal

opinions

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Long distance: not it for varsity Katherine Verhoeven

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t is the second term and our new arrivals have inally settled into UCT and the Cape Town scene, many leaving their high school sweethearts back at home in other cities, but promising to stay in a long-distance relationship.

These people will no doubt include members of both sexes, which can lead to ighting and mistrust If this is you, picture this: It is hursday night and you’re out on the town with your friends. You get a BBM from your boyfriend or girlfriend from home, two thousand kilometres away. You then get another one, and another one, and soon, you are sitting on the couch in the corner of the club, your face illuminated only by the light of your cell phone, chatting away while your friends are out in the real world having fun without you.

Long-distance relationships are extremely diicult to begin with,

Image: Rachel Doyle

especially if you are young and at university. Moreover, in longdistance relationships, jealousy can become a huge issue. Your partner does not know the people with whom you spend your time with, and they may start feeling let out,

Mind-controlled robot Sakhi Gcina

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dvertising: I cannot seem to escape it or prevent its inluence. It has become part of my daily life like brushing my teeth (although some people still need to master that one).

From the minute I wake up I hear it on my radio as I get dressed in my brand-labelled clothes.

My e-mails come with unwanted “advertising”, which could be interpreted as con artists’ attempts at getting their greedy hands on my already diminished funds.

I cannot keep in touch with my friends without it butting its nose into my business through all the posts on the social networks I visit; even the mere call back I receive from my friend is saturated with the toxic stuf. We are under a diferent kind of slavery.

Ater having been exposed to numerous advertisements I cannot help but feel like I have been transformed into a living, breathing advertisement! Whether I try to ignore it or dismiss it as one of those many conspiracy theories that only bored people believe in, I cannot deny the power it has over almost every aspect of society.

We build our identities around what is portrayed as being acceptable in the media; for example, the movies we choose to watch are based primarily on how ‘cool’ the trailer is, which celebrities are in it and how many of our friends are talking about it. Our relationships are dictated by advertising; we pick our soul mates according to which type of guy/girl is shown to be the best lover in magazines or a guy/girl who resembles a fake TV character from Gossip Girl. And it changes each season – from the metro-sexual, to

the caveman, to the intellectual geek, and so on.

We have been constructed to be a society of labels and stereotypes simply because the human race is easier to control that way. he cliché “sex sells” has never been more evident or celebrated for its way of grabbing our attention and getting our tongues wagging than now. hink anything that has to do

How many of us students flock to the trendiest clubs just so we can be seen on thunda.com the next day with Lady Gaga or Rihanna; and it is not some random “Illuminati” group doing it. he rule that fashion advertising has drilled into everyone’s brain is to wear as little as possible.

We have been reduced to living a lifestyle that adheres to one culture, that of consumerism and supericiality. How many of us students lock to the trendiest clubs just so we can be seen on thunda. com the next day, even if it is just a part of your arm in the obscure picture. With the local elections on the way, we are bound to be faced with political campaigns that make each party look like it can turn South Africa into the Promised Land.

We have attached meaning and devoted our resources to things that we can do without. Remember Shopaholic? It was not just a lame chick lick ater all. What is crazy is deining valuable things like identity, culture, success and happiness from a thirty-second clip that some retard came up with on the spot so that he can go home early from work. I refuse to let myself to be used like a mind-controlled robot.

or even replaced. At varsity you are constantly meeting new people, especially at UCT, where there is a student population of over 20 000. hese people will no doubt include members of both sexes, which can lead to ighting and mistrust.

Another thing that tends to happen when you are young and living apart is that you may realise that you and your partner are on two completely diferent paths in life. You now have diferent hobbies, diferent interests, and diferent friends. At

the end, there might not be much let to keep the two of you together. Most importantly, when you are at varsity, you will want to experiment and experience! here are loads of guys and girls out there dying to get your number to get to know you a little bit better. here is nothing worse than being let out when your friends are of chatting up some girls and you’re alone because you are “too faithful” to your “snookums” to join them.

Apparently, 25-40% of college relationships are long-distance. his is because with all the new technology we have nowadays, it is so much easier to stay in contact with your loved one. However, there is no adequate substitution for human contact. As a friend of mine once said, “there is nothing worse than looking at your boyfriend through a computer screen”. here are, of course, exceptions to the rule. hese are those scenarios in which two people are just meant to be together and nothing will pull them apart. For most of us though, this is just not the case. Most of us would be better of cutting our losses before we end up resenting our partner for holding us back in what is supposed to be the best time of our lives!

Party prophecies Student leaders’ thoughts on the upcoming municipal elections

Richard McLaverty DASO UCT Branch Leader The May 18th Elections will be a landmark in the history of South

Sipe Mgqibi UCT ANCYL Chairperson The ANCYL generation that came before us will be remembered for salvaging the masses of South

Africa. For the very irst time since the birth of our democracy, the Democratic Alliance will be entering an election, not just as an opposition party, but rather as a party with a track record in government. For young South Africans, this is a signiicant election: we make up almost half of the population of our country and face the full force of our country’s poverty, unemployment, crime and social problems. With such a large portion of our current and future workforce unable to break out of the poverty cycle, the future of our country is looking grim indeed. he DA’s track record proves that we are delivering a better life for all South Africans. We have shown that where we govern – in places

such as the City of Cape Town and the Western Cape, Midvaal in Gauteng, Baviaans in the Eastern Cape, Nokeng Tsa Taemane near the Limpopo boarder in Gauteng, and the many other municipalities across the country – we strive for an open, transparent and accountable government. his election is about moving away from the tradition that keeps South Africans repeatedly voting for the same party and somehow expecting a diferent result. he beauty of our democracy is that you have the choice – and power – to choose a party that will deliver a better future, for you and for South Africa as a whole. I think the DA has shown we’re ready to do just that.

Africa from a dictatorship that stripped our people of their basic human rights. Cue 2011 and we have a diferent struggle. he struggle in the Western Cape is to liberate the poor masses from the leadership of the DA that refuses to respect their human rights. We, as young people, have a responsibility to vote and ensure the people of Khayelitsha never have to use open toilets again.

We need to heed the ruling of the Human Rights Commission that the DA-led Western Cape government infringed on the human rights of the people of Khayelitsha by building toilets that were not enclosed.

We, the youth of South Africa, need to reshape government into a force for visible service delivery.

More pertinent for UCT students is the need to ensure tertiary education becomes a right for all and not a privilege of the few. We must vote

for the ANC so that we can end the commodiication of tertiary education. We want to see your siblings and cousins from provinces across the country, regardless of disadvantage, having access to this prestigious institution.

Ater democratic dispensation, the ANCYL is the only organisation at the forefront of instituting youth development into mainstream work of government, civil society and the private sector. he betterment of South Africa’s youth is our primary pre-occupation.

Young people of UCT, I implore you to go out and vote for the African National Congress on 18 May. A vote for the ANC is a vote for a better life for all.

Disclaimer SASCO and YCL declined to respond

Jammie Images: michael.currin.co.za

Madness

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features

REVIEWS Restaurant Review: Mainland China Candice Newton 

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Restaurant Review: The Eastern Food Bazaar Kate Ahrends 

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here are very few places in Cape Town where students can choose from a tasty selection of Asian cuisine, receive generous portions of food and still leave with change in their pockets. he Eastern Food Bazaar is one of them.

My own introduction to this very popular restaurant was one of great serendipity. Walking through the CBD of Cape Town one summer’s day, I noticed that where the “Wellington Fruit Grower’s Market” used to be, now emerged something of great interest, with Capetonians looding in and out of it. Before I could get a glimpse of what was inside, my sense of smell quickly notiied me of what was to come. As

a huge fan of Indian food, I walked into the bazaar and was instantly transported into another world.

When you enter, you’ll irst notice the many stations that run along the length of the restaurant, each specialising in an array of meal options from diferent areas within Asia.

Between a friend and I, we decided to order one portion of butter chicken from the Punjabi station (R35 with rice and a helping of lentils of the day); one portion of Paneer Makhani from the Bombay Bytes Station (R25 with rice and a helping of lentils of the day); and two naan breads from the Tandoori Station (R6 each). If we had known the size of the portions, we would have ordered half of this.

While the informal Eastern Food Bazaar may not be the ine dining experience that you may ind at

Bukhara, the portions are easily double the size at a quarter of the price. From Chinese noodles, to Turkish Falafels and Durban’s Bunny Chow, students will never have to deal with a disgruntled bank balance again.

Whether you are a budgetbound student, or a family of 10, this inexpensive and cheerful place caters to all, with plenty of appealing vegetarian options too. Further, the exceptional vintage doorways and grand chandeliers add to the bazaar’s decor, and the sound of Indian music only enhances the bustling canteenlike kitchen atmosphere.

Even though this venue is strictly Halaal and therefore does not sell or allow alcohol on the premises, it’s hardly far from the action of Long Street, and thus provides as an incomparable hot spot, which is deinitely worth a visit.

ithin super-short walking distance from the Claremont Jammie Shuttle stop, is Mainland China, a welcome retreat for fastfood seekers. he bright peach walls are adorned with Chinese curios, and the main dining area has large tables decked in green and orange – who can be glum surrounded by such crazy brightness?

While contemporary Chinese music plays in the background, young, friendly staf members take your drink orders. Drinks range from your standard sotdrink (R10), to beers (R13), ciders (R18), and a range of spirits and wines, including Rice Wine (R16) and Sake (R28). Corkage is R20, which is great if you have a tasty red or white to share with friends. he restaurant itself is very accommodating, with an outside balcony area for the smokers, a well-stocked bar for the drinkers, and a TV for the sports-addicts.

However, the real draw card here is their R49 Chinese bufet. It is only available on Saturdays and Sundays, but is deinitely worth waiting for, especially as it showcases the food that Mainland China has to ofer – prepare your taste buds for heaven! he dishes I really enjoy are the Plain Stir-fried Noodles and the Crispy Chicken. he Crispy Chicken

consists of thin strips of chicken coated in a sweet-sticky sauce fried with sesame seeds until crispy and chewy. I also love the Springrolls and Deep-fried Pork (both which can be coated with Sweet and Sour Sauce), the Beansprout Mix Salad (crunchy and fresh), and, of course, the Egg-fried Rice. Yum! Other guests have commented that their favourites include Beef with Oyster Sauce, Chicken Corn Soup, Sweet and Sour Chicken, Stirfried Greenbeans, and Seaweed in Garlic Sauce. he bufet also ofers light desserts – end your meal with a few pieces of Watermelon or Orange Slices, and a syrupy Bowtie.

Be sure to order a pot of Jasmine tea (R10) to round it of.

Overall, their service is superb, with the staf whisking away your dirty dishes allowing you to use a new plate for each dish (if you so wish). Along with service, I like to judge a restaurant on how they say “good-bye”, and here they do so with a lovely strawberry-lavoured, heart-shaped, ater-dinner candies.

Happiness!

Besides the Chinese bufet and main Chinese menu, they also serve sushi, however, the Chinese food is what will lure you back for more!

Mainland China is the perfect hangout for friends wishing to avoid res Sunday lunch. However, be warned, their bufet is pretty popular so remember to book in advance.

Album review: Adele – 21

Nyasha Kadandara  Adele has put her big girl panties on just two years ater her debut album was released, and delivered, what I like to call, the best acoustic delight of 2011! Her singing reaches hearts everywhere, and importantly,

the songs are about experiences we can all share. he irst time I heard the album, I felt like Adele had taken an Eat, Pray, Love mission down to Mississippi and came back with a whole lot of soul and attitude that she was ready to share. Most of her songs are backed up with piano and percussion instruments, which enable her lyrics

and melodies to really tug at your emotions.

Now, as you go through this album, the story from her previous album, 19, entailing a “girl meets boy and is crazy for him” theme, is continued. his album’s story reveals when girl would do anything for boy (If It Hadn’t Been For Love), boy is bad and has to go (Turning Tables), and girl is shattered as he moves on (Someone Like You). But like a phoenix from the ashes, girl rises and tells boy where the hell to get of (Rolling in the Deep). Somewhere along the lines, I think girl forgives boy (I’ll Be Waiting), but… I think it’s best to wait for next album to be sure.

If you’re feeling like going all Bridget Jones in your living room, don’t hold back and give “Take It All” a play. Listen to “Rumour Has It”, because it has a certain sex appeal that seduces you into feeling, well, amazing. For the shower, go with, “Set Fire to the Rain”. Songs like this must only be experienced at high decibels and in a space you’re comfortable in. My favourite track is “One and Only”, which I am ready and waiting to perform for anyone who is willing to listen.

Whoever says 21 is depressing needs to embrace life and deal with it, and this is the perfect album for that. Now, I shall anxiously await 23!

Album review: The Script - Science and Faith

Danielle Barnes  The Script’s music is a mixture of pop, rock, hip hop and soul. Made up of three Irish guys, (singer Danny O’Donaghue, guitarist Mark Sheehan and drummer Glen Power), their 2008 debut album The Script sold over two million sales world-wide. heir second album, Science & Faith, is a build on their previous work and is passionate, sincere and poetically articulate.

he irst song, “You Won’t Feel a hing”, is a great introduction to their new album. he lyrics are personal and passionate, which can be seen in the line: “Cause everything the world could throw/ I’ll stand in front/ I’ll take the blow for you”.

Another favourite, “Nothing”, starts with a soothing rhythm that is accompanied by the incredible lyrics. “here is something about the way a voice encapsulates a person,” says Sheehan. “he way Danny sings, the raw emotion when you hear it in front of you - you cannot deny the power.” he rest of the album is just as incredible and steadily builds on the songs that have gone before. he upbeat tempo combined with the soothing but passionate rhythm and personal lyrics creates a memorable album. he Script is coming to South Africa for the irst time later this year. hey will be in Cape Town on the 26th of June at the Grand West Arena.

features

TRAVEL

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Sink your teeth into Turkish delights Bushra Gules “I see you have wery goot sexual prowess of de bull”, winked the lopsided (male) fortune teller to me and I remember thinking, “Whatever mister, can virgins even have prowess? True I am a bull (Taurus) but how’d he know that? Hmm… I was in Majestic cafe, Taksim, the beating heart of inner Istanbul, and having my fortune told. It was as thrilling as it was frightening. I guess the thrilling part comes from waiting about half an hour for your tiny Turkish kahve cup to cool down and seeing people break out in tears, some smiling , others talking about how amazing the guy is. he frightening part was that the guy was spot on about things happening in my life, he was correct in everything he could see about me in the cup.

Sounds strange, but this is Istanbul.

“I see you have wery goot sexual prowess of de bull” Squashing in approximately 17 million people, straddling Europe and Asia, Istanbul was absolutely fascinating and everything I could ever imagine in one place.

Taksim square, the equivalent of Madison square in New York, leads to Istiklal caddesi or Independence street, the host of plenty cafes, the best little antique book shops, popular fashion houses and the timeless red and white tram. It’s been described as the “hippest part of

ARABIAN SUNSET - One of the spectacular views that can be seen from the many hidden treasures of Istanbul.

Europe”. For those of you that think Turkey is in the Middle East, think again. Half of Istanbul lies in Europe,

next to Greece and Bulgaria and the other half lies in Asia.

Towards the end of Istiklal Street,

you’ll ind Galata Tower, the oldest freestanding tower in the world. Go visit the tower to get picturesque

views of the Bosphorus sea, the Asian and European side of Istanbul, crumbling wooden yalis (wooden mansions from Ottoman times), Hagia Soia, Golden Horn and minarets dotting the ever-expanding, smoking, heaving city.

Like the protagonist in Eat, pray, love, I sure did eat and eat and eat.

It was winter; what’s a girl to do when it snows outside? he food was amazing; use of natural lavourings is deinitely favoured in Turkey. I recall making curry for my family, (very diicult to ind curry powder and coriander!), only to see them go for the yoghurt dolmas instead (insert sad face). Dolma is a rice mixture, stufed into veggies and eaten with yoghurt. he variety of food was so vast, that not one food type we have here could be found there!

Stambol, as it is popularly known has the dreamiest collection of museums, art galleries, mosques and the Basilica cistern – the oldest and only surviving ancient watersystem in the world. A must-see is the Sultanhamet square. It is teeming with tourists and is the area surrounding the famous Blue Mosque and infamous Hagia Sophia, infamous for being a church, then a mosque and inally, a museum. he glorious palace of Topkapi is a mustsee. One will ind fragments of the greatest prophets of mono-theistic religions and not forgetting the third biggest diamond in the world found by a beggar in the 1700s.

All in all, Istanbul is a necessary destination for the aspiring traveller.

I found it to be massive, intimidating, picturesque, glorious and just plain fun.

Journey to the Cradle of Humankind Ehrard Vermaak

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he word ‘Museum’ should be exciting. Learning should not be covered in dust, or trapped in an endless sea of words. Young people hardly say, “Let’s check out that Museum today!” After a trip to the learning adventure that is Maropeng, however, you might be telling your friends: “Let’s go to that museum today!”

Maropeng is an easy and peaceful hour drive along the R400, North West of Johannesburg. Together with the Sterkfontein Caves, Maropeng forms one of the visit worthy points of the 47 000 hectare World Heritage Site called “he Cradle of Humankind”. he collection of grassy hills and plains are called this name because it has produced one of the largest collections of hominid fossils, (some dating back to 3.5 million years ago), in the world. he remarkably preserved fossils of ‘Mrs Ples’ and the ‘Tuang Child’ have greatly contributed to reconstructing our evolutionary paths from here in Africa from where our ancestors departed and populated the world. he brochure explains, “Our ancestors have lived in this area for more than three million years.

By coming here, you are coming to the birthplace of humanity.

Welcome home!” he imposing façade of a primitive looking structure which is completely covered in grass - and looks like something that should rather be in he Shire – is the irst thing that hits you. he Tumulus, as it is called, is where your journey begins. As you leave the modern hotel-like lobby, an underground ramp unfurls before you, that takes you back to a time when the Earth began, as you read and follow a timeline of major evolutionary events in the Earth’s almost ive billion year history.

The petrified remains of dinosaur babies hatching from their shells are like the cream on the intellectual cake he unusual excitement starts at the bottom of this ramp where, as if at Gold Reef City or Ratanga Junction, you get on a boat ride that removes you even further from your city-slinging reality. he boat eerily rattles into dark and gloomy tunnels only to be lit up by the blue hue of (real!) ice walls, or by the redness of ire as you travel backwards through the tumultuous formation of our home planet. he adventure continues with

what is called the vortex tunnel.

Careful though! From the outside it is merely a raised room that is connected from one side to the other with a bridge. All around this bridge there is a darkly painted canvas with hundreds of luminescent specks swirling around. On the inside, however, this room makes you think the world outside is spinning psychedelically!

When you eventually tire of the entertainment of falling on your face and losing your balance, you enter the exhibit halls. he open corridorlike room takes you on a journey, starting with how the continental earth was formed, followed by the introduction of evolution as a science, and then inally we see our own story in the chronicling of human evolution and by showing us the nine characteristics of what it means to be human. Boring right?

Wrong!

All the displays are interactive, making use of audio visuals and graphic panels. Where else would you be able to dial-a-Dodo, for it to tell you, in a seductively sombre French accent, how sailors clubbed them into extinction.

As for the fossils, they are left for the very last. he astounding petriied remains of dinosaur babies hatching from their shells, amongst other amazing examples, are like

HISTORICALLY INCLINED – Museums may not be as drab as we think.

Image: Ehrard Vermaak

the cream on the intellectual cake.

If that wasn’t already enough, there is even the opportunity to it your hands into a cement imprint of

Nelson Mandela’s hands. his “one destination to discover our world” single handily blows the dust of the fuddy-duddy word ‘Museum’.

12

features

VOX POP

How are you transforming UCT? “I’ve been here for four years, UCT’s transformed me” Dan Meyer

“I’m in first year, so I’m not transforming UCT” Nabilah Varachhia

“Throwing stuf in correct bins and supporting the cofee shop” Henri Anderson

“We cultivate a more relaxed learning culture by promoting increased time spent on Jammie Stairs” Michelle le Grange, Marc De Vos, Stuart Blackbeard

“Things are academically more stable when I’m around” “We make it more culturally diverse by having representation

Matthew Le-Roux

of all parts of Africa in our group” Junaid Rawoot

Images: Rudi Botha

features

HUMOUR

13

The Top 10 Universal Peeves Ali Karp

P

eeves - everyone has one. In fact, most people have way more than one. hey ambush you on the worst of days, oten resulting in rashes or strong desires to play down-downs with full bottles of rescue remedy to ease the frustration. With that said, I have compiled a simple list of my top ten pet peeves. People, you are not alone.

1.

Cold Toilet Seats: My bastard of a toilet seat manages to harness the cold from every ice draught imaginable and magnify it until, becoming my very own personal stationary glacier of menace, and my arse, he Titanic.

2.

Warm Toilet Seats: because you know someone was there before you, marking their territory, denying you any chance of getting territorial yourself.

3.

Side-Hugs: What are you people? Give me a full-frontal-bodygrope-back-rub hug, you pansy. I put all my loving energy into my hugs, and you beat it down with the s**t-stick of your demeaning side-

versions. Help solve world-peace by hugging properly!

4.

Bubble Trouble: Tinroof seems to be the ultimate battle ground with regards to the invasion of your personal space. One day I was dancing with some mates, enjoying the commercial sound of the blown speakers, when I felt someone grind me from behind. he hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention as I fought the urge to turn around and deck whoever it was square in the jaw.

Needless to say, I turned around, and what I found, was rather odd, maybe slightly controversial. Call it self-expression or ‘experimental’, but some oke had been grinding me from behind without pants. Yes people. He was pant-less. What can only top it off, was the fact that he had no underwear on… Charming.

5.

Ketchup Genocide: Being a ketchup fanatic myself, I know that when you start running out of ketchup, you lip the glass bottle upside down to make the most of your money. However, in reality when you attempt to re-open it, the result is a mild atomic-explosion over

all food groups desecrating all carbs, proteins, and green leafy salads. hat’s All Gold tomato-goodness for you, bru.

6.

Emo Facebook Statuses: You are the biggest lat-tyre of my life. End of story.

7.

The Creepy-Crawly: there is NOTHING like the Barracuda Creepy-Crawly to put the fear of God in to the hearts of children. Yes, I was one of those kids. Why those slits for a face? Why that name? Why the UNDERWATER-TICKINGNOISE?! It lies there, waiting in ambush. You don’t even feel it until it’s too late and it starts it’s rubbing and tapping against your ankles, (insert ‘crying’ emoticon here). I am no fool. I would not touch those things with a ten-foot pole. I still refuse to swim in a creepy-crawlyinfested pool.

8.

Funny Money: Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the economic empowerment of people, but the things I’ve wanted to do to those street vendors on a mild-day exceeds politeness. I am a student. I barely have enough money to piece together my own lunch.

GOTCHA! - No more side hugs for this oke.

9.

Uneven Sunburn: I’m in pain, and I look stupid. Great.

10. Pips: One of my top favourite foods is a seedless orange.

Do not give me seeds! No, shame on you. Shame on you for ruining

Image: Rachel Doyle

my entire experience. So, you can imagine my moment of horror as I chomp into a piece of orange and bite into one of those nasty little creatures. Implosion of pure hatred.

We will always remember UCT’s Golden Age

Images: michael.currin.co.za

Anton Taylor

A

t one point or another, everybody feels like a loser. It comes to you at certain times; an ebbing suspicion which creeps in to your mind and tells you that you are just one of those people who will never get it right. It is a desperate, sinking feeling which pulls you under and orders you to give in. It is the lump in your throat and the burning of your eyes when, despite trying so terribly hard, your journey ends in defeat.

Everybody has felt this way.

Anybody who says otherwise is either lying or so insecure that any form of self-examination is impossible to them, lest they glimpse the ocean of fear and shame lowing

within them. he strange thing is that while everybody has felt like a loser, not everybody is in fact a loser. Certainly, there are losers in this world. hey are the scared ones: those who give in and accept the mean words of the bullies. It’s the people who ignore those bitter put-downs, who ignore all the past failures and strive forward, who are the winners.

But doing so is diicult and tiring, and for many of us events happen through life which make us forget how good things can be.

Every now and then, however, something happens which reminds us that we can be the guys and girls who get everything they want. Last Monday, ater years of battling, as the Ikeys lited the Varsity Cup trophy, thousands of us felt like those

good-looking popular people who get it all. Who win. And we should feel like that. Because we do have it all, and God knows, we possibly deserve it.

The Ikeys victory does not just belong to the rugby club. It belongs to all of us Although they deserve the utmost credit for their achievement, the Ikeys victory does not just belong to the rugby club. It belongs to all of us. For it was all of us who created the belief that has spread into every facet of UCT living. It was all of us who loved UCT so much that we were willing, year ater

year, to once again risk that ierce pain of disappointment and give all our hearts to the hope that we could win.

You see, the reason we are winners is not because we have the Varsity Cup. It is because despite the years of coming so close and failing we believed that we could have it all.

Winning last Monday just makes it easier for us to see what we have always been.

No matter what happens to us in the rest of our lives, no matter how we’ve felt about ourselves before this point, there is one fact which we should never forget: there was a time when we were truly at one of the best places in the world. Where we were at one of those unattainable places you’d see in movies, with the triumphant sports teams, top academics, insane

parties, impossibly beautiful settings, and an unrealistic number of goodlooking students. We belonged to a Golden Place during a Golden Age, and there is nothing that anybody can do to ever take that away. here is a great deal of sadness and suffering in the world, but sometimes there is happiness without pain and triumph without sorrow.

And for this time, we are those lucky few who can have it all. Let us never forget this feeling.

Disclaimer The Varsity Humour page is meant for people with a sense of humour. The views on this page are not necessarily those of the Varsity Collective or its advertisers. This means we can say anything about Maties, Julius Malema and SRC.

14

sports Never been an Ikey, never will be a tiger Tifany Mugo

nor the shorts or the season guest list to Tiger that identiies me as an Ikey. Harsh, but true. Being an The Ikeys recently won a Ikey is not an automatic thing. It’s a stunning victory against Tuks to friendship group thing. scoop the Varsity Cup; a title that he term really does point to a was a long time coming. But, do I certain type of person and the sad care? No! Does the victory move thing is that many students in the me? Not particularly! he Ikey University do not it the bill. When Tigers is just another I arrived in university team on campus that If the term Ikey I was not told that I am seems to get more is supposed to an Ikey. I only found attention than the four years later that represent the out others. It’s victory is we are ALL Ikeys, and not my victory; it’s loss average student; not just the beautiful is not my pain. specimens in the it has failed But, don’t get me short white shorts and miserably wrong. I know school striped shirts. If the spirit. Ater spending two years in St term Ikey is supposed to represent Johns, Johannesburg, I cried when the average student; it has failed the blues lost. I went for a round miserably. I know a great deal of (or four) when they won. But for people whose response to the Ikey the Ikeys, I don’t feel it. he school win was ‘eh’. Being an ‘Ikey’ is for spirit is not proliferated. he title the Tigers and the girls they go to ‘Ikey’ is reserved only for a selected Tiger with. Outside of that, all we few. I have neither the blonde hair, can do is to shrug and say, ‘eh!’.

Once an Ikey, always a Tiger Candy Peck

PROUD IKEYS - fans basking in the glory following Monday’s victory

Image: michael.currin.co.za

be the ones doing the actual work, the supporters are a vital part of a team; they are the energy and the I TOOK my irst trip up Jameson drive of the team. hey motivate stairs thinking, “his is it – today, and inspire their team to reach I become an Ikey, a tiger.” I was for that “unattainable” victory and proud to be part of a family; a team return as champions. that I could stand in the rain and he Ikeys/Tuks Varsity Cup’s scream for. here is inal was the perfect something so unifying you ... push your setting for the UCT about playing a sport. body that extra student body to rise You ight with all your up and back their mile for your heart and push your boytjies, which they team body that extra mile did with great passion! for your team and the supporters Hundreds came out to support screaming in the stands. Team our boys, with their bodies clad pride and team spirit is something in blue and white and their faces that should accompany every sport; marked with the pride of an Ikey. be it rugby, tennis, soccer or cricket. hey screamed, they shouted, they Having proud and loyal supporters cheered and they sang; all illed is something that can drive any with the spirit of a true Ikey. team to the ultimate success.

And that is what it’s all about. As here are two parts to every a UCT student, as an Ikey, pride is team: the players and the in our nature; we back our teams supporters. Whilst the players may till the end.

Berndt Hannweg

T

his Easter weekend, thousands of hopeless folks - I mean, hopeful folks – will be participating in the 2011 Two Oceans Marathon.

Learn how to stay at the top of your game with these runner’s tips.

Ater a year or two at this ine institution, you’re guaranteed to walk away with one thing: the nicest pair of calves you have ever had in your life. It would be such a shame to waste them sitting at home, enjoying yourself and your brief moment of relaxation – you could be spending the entire day in horriic pain, in the sun, with thousands of other sweaty people.

Here are a few tips to make sure that those of you who were tricked into entering can hold your own: Tip #1: Preparation It’s no good waiting until the race day to fake a leg injury or a nasty head-cold. Your friends/family/ signiicant other will see right

through you. Instead, spend weeks complaining about any of your leg muscles (Wikisearch for potential “danger” areas). Irritate your friends/family etc. into booking an appointment with the doctor and have him fake a medical certiicate. If all else fails, break your leg yourself; it’s easier than actually running. But if you can’t...

Tip #2: Diet What you eat before and during the race is of utmost importance.

Whatever you do, do NOT go on a high-protein/carbohydrate/ vitamin diet! hese are the diets recommended by so-called “athletes”. All athletes partake in such tomfoolery, and yet only one of them ever wins the race. hose aren’t good odds. Instead, decide whether you are going to focus on aerodynamics or muscle power. If the former, eat nothing two weeks before the race to save pages torn from running magazines. If the latter, a healthy diet of raw meat and raw potatoes should be excellent fuel for many days, possibly even months, ater.

During the race itself, avoid water and energy drinks like the plague.

Both contain many dangerous chemicals that have been proven to afect the human body negatively.

Instead, stick to Coca-Cola and other sugary drinks, because, as we all know, sugar equals energy.

Alcohol is also recommended – what better way to dull the pain of aching muscles?

Tip #3: On the Road Always be aware of other runners!

And by “be aware”, of course, I mean “know who you can safely shove out of your way”. Competing elderly ladies and young children are actually super-heroes in disguise, so they’re deinitely a no-go. Instead, look for thirty-somethings with receding hairlines competing only to combat a mid-life crisis phobia. hey are pushovers. Go ahead and trample them, smack them, steal their water bottles and piggy-back ride ‘em to the inish. Remember, there is no “us” in “running”; only “you” and “I” competing. here can be only one winner.

Image: flickr

Two Oceans: Tips for the Sub-Professional Athlete

Tip #4: Finishing When inishing, climb of Ted’s back, leave him crying in the dirt, and breeze over the inish line, making sure to smile for the cameras. If you do not think the shot was good, back up a few metres and cross the line again. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES may you let yourself be carried over the line! his will inevitably lead people

to question the validity of your participation. Worst-case scenario, people will ask you to “prove” your itness by competing again next year.

Finally, if you have any doubts about your ability to inish, you can always throw yourself of Chapman’s Peak and save yourself the embarrassment and trauma of having to come back next year...

sports

15

The Grape Escape Nicholas Bodenstein

Images: grapeescape.co.za

T

HE first stage of the Columbia Grape Escape saw cyclists lining up at Eden on the Bay, Blouberg beach, on 4 March.

Day One welcomed competitors with a relatively tough 85km stretch through the Durbanville hills, inishing at Nelson Wine Estate in Wellington.

With the Absa Cape Epic imminent at the end of March, the Grape Escape allows some of the riders to get in those last few hours of training and gauge how well they would perform in a harsh multi-day stage race. his obviously attracted both local and international talent, with the likes of David George and Kevin Evans (both of 360Life), Mannie Heymans and Marc Bassingthwaighte (both of Garmin-Adidas), Burry Stander (Mr Price-Specialised), as well as international riders such as Christoph Sauser (specialised)

and Karl Platt (Bulls), all lining up to prove themselves before the “Big One.” he stage, whilst lat and fast, was by no means easy. he riders had to contend with endless punctures and temperatures rising to the 43°C mark. he battle of the day was fought by 360Life team-mates, George and

With temperatures peaking at 47°C, the front runners fought hard, increasing the pressure on their fellow competitors Evans, against Bulls rider, Karl Platt.

Platt won the sprint for the stage with Evans coming in second and George at third. Burry Sauser and Christoph Stander, both ex-world champions, struggled with punctures all day long. Sauser unfortunately inished far down on the log, putting him out

bin Hammam vs Blatter

of the stage completely. For the back markers, it was a much harder ride, which saw 200 of the 750 starters unable to reach the inish line.

Stage Two took the riders from Wellington to Boschendal Wine Estate, covering a distance of 78km.

With temperatures peaking at 47°C, the front runners fought hard, increasing the pressure on their fellow competitors. he irst break was formed going up Du Toitskloof pass, with Stander and Sauser setting the pace, keen to prove their form ater their bad luck on the previous day. he race joined up with the 24km and 13km routes of the Cape Argus mountain bike race coming into Boschendal. his provided additional excitement for spectators and amateurs alike. Platt once again proved his worth, taking his second consecutive stage win, with Stander in second and Evans third. For the amateur riders, Stage Two was once again a diicult race – 260 riders did not inish the stage.

Absa Cape Epic Caterina Aldera

Stephanie Venter The Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) may have a new president come 1 June if Mohamed bin Hamman’s bid for the association’s presidency is successful. Bin Hammam will be the only candidate to contest incumbent FIFA president Sepp Blatter’s re-election.

Both candidates have a long association with FIFA, and are wellknown within the football world.

Blatter has served four terms as FIFA president and bin Hammam has been an executive member since 1996, as well as president of the Asian Football Confederation (AFC) since 2002. Blatter’s four consecutive terms have led to 12 years at FIFA’s helm. hus far, South Korea has openly declared its support for bin Hammam’s candidacy.

Bin Hammam will also be counting on the support of other Asian countries, given his position as president of AFC, and has recently been touring Africa to garner the support of African football bosses.

Whilst Blatter has a proven track record when it comes to leading international football, bin Hammam has outlined a clear stance on many of the important issues facing the organisation at present. Of particular

interest to many is his stance on Goal-line technology, which Blatter has opposed for many years.

Blatter’s position on this particular technology met with disapproval ater a goal by England striker Frank Lampard went unseen by referees during last year’s World Cup.

Hammam ... declar(ed) support for the use of Goal-line technology In a speech announcing his candidacy for the FIFA presidency, bin Hammam clariied his position on technology and referee decisionmaking techniques, declaring support for the use of Goal-line technology and additional oicials behind goals to assist in decisions.

Bin Hammam has also announced plans to restructure the FIFA administration should he be elected. hese include increasing the size of the organisation’s Executive Committee, currently at 25, to 40 members. his committee would be renamed the FIFA Board, and a “Transparency Committee” would be created to keep an eye on the decision-making processes within the organisation. “he people who are working within the football community

need more co-operation, more transparency, [and] more fair distribution of revenues,” said bin Hammam. his move is likely to be welcomed by many countries, given the criticism that was levelled against FIFA by some ater the recent vote to determine the hosts of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups. hese World Cups were awarded to Russia and Qatar respectively, a fact England in particular was disappointed with the decisions.

England had been hoping to host the 2018 World Cup, but their bid received just two of 22 votes.

Additionally, bin Hammam has proposed to impose a limit of two consecutive terms as FIFA president, arguing that the top of the organisation should constantly be changing in order to avoid stagnancy.

With regards to his decision to compete with Blatter for the presidency, bin Hammam said, “In the past I have always declared that competition and its changes are good and healthy for ... organisations like FIFA.” Blatter has announced that, should he be re-elected to the FIFA presidency, it would be his last term in oice. his would mean that Blatter would lead the organisation until 2015 – a total of 16 years as president.

he last day saw the cyclists racing from Boschendal to Plaisir de Merle and back again, over a distance of 67km. Stage hree dawned over-cast and cool, a welcome break, which meant racing could start right from the word “Go.” Platt, Evans and George were in for a hard day. Only seven seconds separated the boys at the start of the stage. Stander once again put the hammer down to thin the ield out, but was soon forced to pull out due to mechanical problems.

On the second climb of the day, the 360Life pair were able to take a substantial lead on Platt. hey kept the pace high and held it right up until the end.

Kevin Evans, the current SA marathon champ, took the stage and won the inaugural Columbia Grape Escape. Dave George and Karl Platt inished second and third respectively on both the inal stage and overall results.

Of the 750 riders who started the race, only 404 inished.

“I CAN’T describe the feeling of winning in words, but I know the exhaustion will hit us tomorrow,” said Burry Stander, irst South African ever to be part of a winning team in the Absa Cape Epic since its inception in 2004. he Epic is the largest, most televised mountain bike stage race in the world. It stands as a continual challenge to cyclists worldwide. his year, the Absa Cape Epic took place between 27 March and 3 April with 600 teams of two riders each starting the race. Just over 90% of these teams inished. he total race distance is 707km, including a 14 550m climb from Tokai to Lourensford. he race was irst conceived in 2002 by ive friends who participated in La Ruta, a mountain bike stage race in Costa Rica. he irst Cape Epic was held in 2004. South African regional entries sold out in three days and charity entries sold out in one week.

More than 150 South African riders attended the irst Cape Epic training camps in the Western Cape, Gauteng, Kwa-Zulu Natal and Sabie in 2003. In December of the same year, Adidas announced their sponsorship. he Cape Epic of 2004 was a great success – 546 riders from 27 countries participated in a race of 801km. In August 2005, the Cape Epic was awarded International Cycling Union (UCI) status. Training camps took place in December 2010 and January 2011 and cost about R4800, featuring advice about nutrition and the risks of strenuous cycling routes. he cost for 2012 entries is R35 400 (R17 700 per rider) and the race takes place from 25 March to 1 April 2012. he rules of the race emphasise a strong team spirit and help to

ensure that all riders earn the title of ‘Absa Cape Epic inisher’.

Partners must ride within two minutes of each other at every point in the race. If they are caught further apart, they could face time penalties or disqualiication. Team members can no longer tow each other to the inish line. Teams who miss the daily time cut-offs are still allowed to continue the race but must attach blue boards to their bikes to show that they are not true inishers. In addition, riders who drop out - “outcast” riders - must wear a white jersey to notify other riders of their status. his prevents them from interfering with the race.

Due to the Cape Epic’s increasing popularity, a lottery is run each year for a portion of the entries.

Hopeful riders can volunteer to help out with the race (at a cost of R2000) and are reserved an entry for the following year. Every year many volunteers are turned away due to the limited capacity of the race villages. Paid opportunities are also available for students.

Jimmy Owen, a inal year Marketing student at UCT, was fortunate enough to get involved through a friend. “We were working with the media, so basically we had to drive journalists around and do anything that the media centre needed us to do - hand out spectator guides at spectator points, take cars to get refuelled, fetch and carry odds and ends from the media centre to the race village and help to set up and pack up.”

According to Owen, the work day was tough, starting at 5:30am and ending around 9pm. However, it was well worth the privilege of watching the top riders “dominate” the massive climbs and fast descents. Ultimately, Owen stated that he would deinitely work for the Cape Epic again.

To volunteer, send an email to volunteers@cape-epic.com.

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Ikeys victorious

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SPORTS BITES

MOTORSPORT – McLaren’s Lewis Hamilton takes the Chinese Grand Prix on Sunday

CAN YOU KEEP UP?- Tuks were unable to snatch a victory from the mighty jaws of the Ikeys leaving UCT this years Varsity Cup Champions

Tarryn Steenekamp

A

fter their third appearance in a Varsity Cup inal in four years, the UCT Ikey Tigers were able to come out trumps and down Tuks to win the 2011 tournament in Pretoria last Monday. he Ikeys won 26-16 at a jam-packed LC De Villiers stadium.

Ater a successful season and a 71% win record in the log stages of the tournament, the Ikeys were able to inish second on the overall standings. hey went head-to-head against Shimlas in a home semi-inal and showed their class as they beat the men from Bloemfontein 57-20.

Two-weeks later they marched to Pretoria to face Tukkies in the inal, amidst a great deal of discontent from supporters who were disappointed that the game could not be held at home.

UCT came from behind, trailing 10-16 against Tuks at half-time, but were able to keep the home team from scoring ater the break.

It was a inal decided through the doggedness of the Ikeys, who held out in the face of relentless pressure from the Pretoria team. In the inal ten minutes of the game, Tuks were able to take the ball through more than 20 phases, without being able to breach the visitors’ defence at any point.

Tuks were made to pay early for their sloppy start with Greg Mallett going over for the Ikeys’ irst try ater just 70 seconds. Once the nerves had settled, however, the home side found their way into UCT territory, won a penalty and captain Wesley Dunlop was able to open his team’s account in the 12th minute. He made it 6-7

Images: Gallo

SOCCER – With just 14 appearances for the Hammers, Westham bid a plum Bennie McCarthy goodbye after a £5million investment.

ive minutes later when UCT were penalised at a ruck directly in front of their posts.

With a string of penalties against the visitors, it came as no surprise when Tuks turned their possession and territory into points. Centre Jean du Plessis dotted down and Tuks held onto a 13-7 lead into the irst strategy break. Dunlop added another penalty for Tuks but man-ofthe-match and star lyhalf Demetri Catrakilis pulled three points back for the Ikeys on the stroke of half-time.

The visitors were eventually able to regain the lead ... hooker Matt Page dotted down for an important second try Catrakilis also gave the Ikeys the opening points of the second half, a penalty for a late tackle, as he levelled the scores 16-16. he visitors were eventually able to regain the lead as they piled on the pressure and hooker Matt Page dotted down for an important second try. Catrakilis added the conversion and the Ikeys held a 23-16 lead going into the second strategy break.

With just ten minutes remaining, Catrakilis gave his team some breathing space with his fourth penalty of the evening and the Ikeys held on for an emphatic 26-16 victory.

En route to the inal, the team was also able to clock up some memorable triumphs. hey got their Varsity Cup campaign under way with a classy victory over Shimlas in Bloemfontein as they beat the home

TENNIS – Rafael Nadal wins his seventh straight Monte Carlo Masters, slamming out David Ferrer in a 6-4, 7-5 , in an all spanish final in Monaco on Sunday.

team 26-10. hey also hammered NWU Pukke 36-8 and recorded home victories over NMMU (4912) and TUT (45-16), before beating Tuks 19-17 in Pretoria. he Ikeys can be proud of the consistency and determination that they displayed throughout the season. At the end it was a deserved tournament win by a team that showed that they don’t just play attractive rugby, but they also know

how to grind out victories when it counts.

Winning the Varsity Cup is just the start of another promising season for UCT Rugby, though.

Fans can look forward to another exciting League as Cape sides will go head-to-head in the upcoming months. hrow your support behind your champions and get down to the Green Mile in weeks to come!

Once an Ikey, always a Tiger!

SOCCER – Man City proved victorius as Toure led the 1-0 win in the Manchester Derby on Saturday.

Images: Gallo