2013: Edition 1

Varsity

Since

1942

The official student newspaper of the university of cape town

12 February 2013

Volume 72: Edition 1

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Res policy causes housing fiasco Chris van der Westhuyzen he Administration of UCT says over-allocation is standard practice.

The year started in disarray for hundreds of students, who arrived at their allocated residence rooms during move-in week - only to find that the beds they had been promised were already occupied by other students.

Bianca Mlambo, a Zimbabwean student and newcomer to Forest Hill residence, said she was unable to move into her room when she arrived on January 29, despite her having received a letter of confirmation from the Student Housing office in August of last year.

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“There’s a bad energy when you move into a place knowing that someone else has just been kicked out”

Image: Jess Breakey REGISTRATION: Students waiting to register for accommodation.

Representative Council (SRC), said there were several reasons why students often failed to follow through with their plans to stay in university housing.

“Sometimes students receive preliminary acceptance, but then they can’t move in due to outstanding fees,” Devar said. “Others might fail a course or drop out entirely and return home … or they make alternative housing arrangements at the last minute.”

In terms of its placement policy, the Student Housing office makes accommodation offers based

on the aggregate resident intake figures from previous years. This “calculated risk”, according to Willis, is an inevitable part of attempting to avoid financial loss and maximise room utilisation.

Some students were surprised to learn of the policy, with many saying that they were never aware that it was being implemented.

“This is my third year in res and it’s the first time I’ve experienced the negative effects of over-allocation,” said Tarah Norton, a first-time resident at Forest Hill. She was moved to temporary accommodation, after

being unable to stay in the room that was stated on her acceptance letter.

Willis said the reason why the effect of the over-allocation policy was more noticeable this year, was because his administration had “simply underestimated the number of students [they] thought would return to res.”

After being barred from their rooms, about 50 disgruntled resident students queued in the Forest Hill lobby on January 29, to raise their concerns with the sub-wardens on duty.

“There was a lot of yelling,”

in this issue

"There were about 20 of us in the same confusing predicament,” Mlambo said. "My letter said I had been allocated a room in Block G, but when I got there they said that it was full."

UCT has 16 residences that are reserved exclusively for first-year-students. These first-tier housing blocks can accommodate 2 100 people - though last year the Student Housing office made 3 600 accommodation offers, according to Grant Willis, director of Student Housing & Residence Life.

Willis said the over-allocation of rooms was a necessary part of his administration’s policy. The data from previous years reflected a tendency among student housing applicants who, after accepting their place in a residence, failed to sign in at the start of the year.

"Every year we have hundreds of students who accept their spots in university housing, but then they don't pitch up during move-in week," Willis said. "So if we don't over-offer we’re likely to end up with a bunch of empty beds."

Jarred Devar, residences coordinator for the Students’

Mlambo said. “People were seriously upset and frustrated because the only response we were getting was ‘We’ll see what we can do’.”

The Forest Hill sub-wardens were later joined by Residence Facility Officers and wardens, who had all received a mandate from the Student Housing office to evict any student with outstanding fees, Devar said.

“It is unfortunate that the subwardens were made scapegoats of, because really, they were just following orders,” said a Residence Facility Officer who preferred to remain anonymous.

In an effort to alleviate the unforeseen influx of resident students, members of the SRC helped to organise emergency accommodation in Fuller Hall and Baxter Theatre, according to Devar.

“There was really a joint effort to help resolve the situation,” Devar said. “Many of these students are incredibly vulnerable … We are proud to say that each and every student has now been allocated a bed somewhere in the system.”

Norton said she now shared her temporary accommodation in Forest Hill with a new flatmate, who had been relocated from Varietas residence. She said it was a relief to learn that all student residents had eventually been allocated beds, but the constant “shuffling around” of rooms continued to be an unsettling experience.

“There’s a bad energy when you move into a place knowing that someone else has just been kicked out of there,” Norton said. “It’s not a nice thing to have that on your conscience.”

Willis said he was aware of the widespread discontent among residence students affected by the controversial over-allocation policy. He said the Student Housing administration planned to review its admissions process once it has established the precise residence intake figures for 2013.

“The next step is to go around to each res to consolidate numbers,” Willis said. “Once we know exactly how many students moved in this year, we’ll be able to make an informed decision … we may have to consider making less offers in future.”mage: Jessica Breakey

Sundance Fest

page 2

Fresher’s Braai

page 3

Mobile SRC

page 4

Plaza Week

pages 10 &11

Ikeys Rugby

Varsity, the official student newspaper since 1942, is committed to the principles of equality and democracy.

page 20

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V72 E1 – 12 FEBRUARY 2013

NEWS BITES Boeremag treason PRETORIA – Boeremag rightwing party member, Deon Loots, had set his sights on staging a violent coup in the hope of relieving the ANC government from their power as the ruling party. Loots held the position of Captain for the Crime Intelligence South African Police Department before being charged with high treason. ­—News24

Apple shares drama NEW YORK – Apple has been diagnosed with “Depressionera” by head of the investment fund, David Einhorn, after investor Greenlight Capital demanded the company to stop hording its stock. Apple shareholders are unable to receive dividends as the value of stock has decreased by 35% with competitors such as Samsung hot on their heels.

—bUSINESS tODAY

Passengers missing at sea DHAKA – 50 people are missing after a ferry carrying 100 passengers sank in the Meghna River in Bangladesh.

Rumours say 25 people may have reached the shore, which leaves another 25 passengers unaccounted for. A similar situation occurred last March with 147 killed after their vessel had sunk due to overloading.

—News24

US drone war WASHINGTON – The US drone war on Pakistan and Yemen has been advocated by President Barack Obama in an attempt to stunt Al-Qaeda forces. Concerns have risen amongst the US public as these attacks have proven to be controversial in the past, with an American citizen Anwar alAwlaki having being killed by a drone in 2011 after joining AlQaeda rebels in Yemen.

—cHANELNEWSASIA.COM

Eastern sea battle JAPAN – Territorial rivalry has broken out between China and Japan after a Chinese ship sailed in what Japan states is their waters. Conflict over the islands in East China Sea is just the tip of the iceberg for Japan’s and China’s sea battle, which has been taking place since last September.

—BBc News

DRC ringleader caught JOHANNESBURG – Hawks stated the capturing of the main plotter behind the DRC President Joseph Kabilia’s possible deposition. The man was arrested in Cape Town last Friday and is expected to appear in the Regional Court in Pretoria.

—News24

Alexandra Nagel

UCT filmmakers showcase in Utah Tendai Madzikanda

wo third-year-students from the Screen Production stream of UCT’s Film and Media department recently returned from the Sundance Film Festival in Utah, where their short films were screened on January the 17th.

Katey Lee Carson and Dylan Bosman formed part of an elite group of six young filmmakers from around the world. The annual festival hosted the Ghetto Film School (GFS) MasterClass Showcase, which seeks to hone the skills of upcoming directors.

Carson said her film, The Washing Up, is a gothic piece looking at the secrets that lie behind the perfect white picket fences of suburbia.

“The film was about creating a feeling and giving [the viewer] goosebumps,” Carson said. “That is why the movie is so intense, so creepy … I only had 2 and a half minutes to get you into that mood.”

Dr Liani Maasdorp, Course Convener of the Film and Media department’s Screen Production stream, said she was extremely proud of Carson and Bosman for taking the

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Image: www.parkcitypeaks.com

initiative to enter the competition.

“I think that both Katey and Dylan are very creative students,” Maasdorp said. “They are top in their class, and always tend to go the extra mile.”

Bosman’s piece, The Running Girl, revolves around the dream of a guy who reflects on the seasonal reality of his failed relationship.

“Relationships usually work in cycles,” Bosman said. “They start with the honeymoon phase of summer and spring, and then you enter the hardships of winter.”

The Sundance Festival itself has been an annual event since 1985 and showcases the talents of independent filmmakers from across the world.

Directors such as Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Django Unchained) and Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, Sin City, Machete) have utilised their success from the festival to launch their careers.

Each year, the UCT Film Society hosts a short film competition known as Shotties. Carson and Bosman were both winners of the competition, for Ginger Curry (2011) and Pavement Special (2012) respectively.

Both films, including the The Running Girl and The Washing Up, can be viewed on YouTube.

SADC Students hit by levy Cai Nebe ndergraduate students from countries belonging to the Southern African Development Community (SADC) are unaware of the new levy the International Academic Programmes Office (IAPO) is charging, according to the International Students SubCouncil (ISSC) leader and SRC Representative for Societies, Chanda Chungu.

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“We simply want to provide the best services possible for international students at UCT” UCT approved the introduction of a SADC levy on 21 November 2012. SADC students are now obliged to pay an additional R1 500 in 2013, and R3 000 thereafter.

Additionally, IAPO and UCT’s Financial Committee intend to raise the international levy on non-SADC students from R2 500 to R3 000.

Chungu comments: “The introduction of a levy is against the spirit of the SADC treaty. The levy places a greater financial burden on SADC families. The fact that UCT did not have levies like this used to be a draw-card for SADC students coming to UCT.” Andreas Gustav, IT manager of the Namibian Students Society (NAMSOC), believes that introducing the new levy was “very unfair”. “IAPO has been doing fine without the levy until now. I don’t think IAPO has been living up to all the services they claim to provide,” He said.

According to Wayne Wagenaar,

IAPO’s Finance manager, the levy was only an administration fee and had become necessary because of IAPO’s staff and due to the growth of the services it provides. “We simply couldn’t sustain not charging the fee,” he said. Wagenaar added that because most international students came from the SADC region, IAPO had been providing them with the same services as levy-paying international students for free. “Ineffect, we were subsidising SADC students,” he said.

The levy is set to affect about 4900 undergraduate international students. IAPO said it installed the levy to compensate for the additional administration costs that it incurs when processing SADC students.

Proceeds from the levy will also be used to subsidise the postgraduate exchange mobility programme, said Chunga.

Lara Dunwell, acting director of IAPO, denied there was any direct link between the levy and the outgoing exchanges. The SADC Protocol states universities must reserve 5% of their places for students from other SADC nations.

Wagenaar said that IAPO was not contravening the SADC protocol because, proportionately, UCT has many more international and SADC students and offers its services much more cheaply than other South African universities. “To my knowledge, many students don’t know about this – UCT didn’t make a public statement,” Chungu said.

Eric Manzi, Marketing Manager for the East African Society (EASOC), explained how it was difficult to distinguish which EastAfrican students qualified for the levy and which did not. “No one knows about this levy,” he said.

“I think they should only apply

it to new students, because some returning students will not be able to afford it.”

Dunwell added: “We feel the fee is fair and competitive for the services IAPO provides. It is not charged for profit – it does not even cover all the costs. We simply want to provide the best services possible for

international students at UCT.” Upon hearing UCT’s approval of the levy, SRC 2013 president, Lorne Hallendorf, stated: “SRC 2013 will follow up on the result of the university executive looking into the services IAPO provides.”

Information regarding the levy is on page 15 of the Fees Handbook.

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V72 E1 - 12 FEBRUARY 2013

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Freshers’ Braai welcomes newbies Chireez Fredericks About 4 000 first-year students gathered on the rugby field on January 31st, as UCT celebrated the arrival of newcomers with live entertainment, tasty food and great company.

The Freshers’ Braai, a collaborated effort by the Student Orientation and Advocacy Centre (SOAC), the Students’ Representative Council (SRC) and UCT Radio, was the first main event on the University of Cape Town’s social calendar for 2013.

"The event was aimed at building a community," said SOAC director Shamla Naidoo. "It allowed first years to feel a sense of belonging, during their transition into a new environment."

Natalie Brundreth, UCT Radio administrator and station manager, said the event organisers decided to invite local artists to perform as most of the students who attended the braai were not from Cape Town.

"By sticking to local performers we were able to give the event a home feel," Brundreth said. "That way we could introduce non-local students to the music, culture and entertainment scene of Cape Town."

Alex Braed, an exchange student from Germany, said the event was a great way for UCT to make new students feel at home, especially for those who had come a great distance.

"It is very interesting and exciting having the traditional braai," Braed said. "We don’t have anything like it back home."

The braai presented first-years with an opportunity to interact with their Orientation Leaders and Faculty, while enjoying a delicious meal and fun-filled entertainment, according to Brundreth.

UCT Radio Breakfast DJ Duncan Patrick described the performers as: “world class entertainment”, with live acts ranging from X Green Panther and Jimmy Nevis to Daddy Walbucks, Earl Scratch and Msakha on the decks.

Jonathan Meynike, a firstyear EBE major, said he was not impressed with the entertainment, and that the performers could have done more to match the energetic atmosphere among the students.

“The music is okay, but not really my type,’’ said Meynike. “It would’ve

Image: Anna Degenaar he University of Cape Town’s Orientation program is a twoweek event where the Student Representative Council (SRC) and Remember and Give (RAG) work together to introduce first-years into their new varsity lifestyle.

The heart of “O-Week”, the Jammie Plaza Program from 4 to 6 February on Upper Campus, is where thousands of UCT students have the opportunity to sign-up for various clubs and societies. With approximately 80 different stands representing the various societies, students are encouraged to become involved at UCT. Sinesipho Ngcayisha, a firstyear student, comments: “I feel like I really do want to be active on

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campus. Because I feel like it is all part of being at UCT. I feel like I can change something. Seeing young people making a difference, I feel like I can do too!”

“Seeing young people making a difference, I feel like I can do so too.”

The orientation motto: ‘It’s your UCT’, and reflects throughout campus, presenting itself this semester for students by students.

It encourages all students to take advantage of this opportunity and become involved in their varsity experience.

SRC President, Lorne Hallendorff, said: “We want more people to get

“The Freshers’ Braai is an important part of O-Week,” Selfe said. “It’s also a chance for us to introduce ourselves and to let firstyears know that the SRC is here to support all students”.

Image: Jess Breakey

“It’s your UCT!”

Hannah Gauss

been cool to see more crowd interaction from the performers.”

Emma Selfe, SRC Entertainment and Fundraising Coordinator, said the braai allowed first year students to get to know the SRC, which was useful for all who were new to the world of higher education.

involved. We want students to realise there is more than just a classroom.”

Jammie Plaza is a place for students across all faculties to become involved; where they make a change not only on UCT ground, but in South-African society. Shannon Bernhardt, the Jammie-Plazacoordinator agrees: “For those who are active, it is a huge opportunity for leadership skills development.”

During orientation week on Monday, 4 February, students were surprised by UCT’s first ever flash-mob which was organised by the SRC, with the cooperation of the “Voila! It’s the Drama in Dining” co-founders, as well as the choreographers Daniel Richards and Christie Hollander.

The idea behind the flash mob was: “to empower the freedom of expression, become comfortable in your own skin, finding your own music. To bring something unexpected in 2013”, describes Darren Brookbanks, SRC representative for Sports & Recreation.

The SRC also took the time to represent itself in a newlybranded and more accessible SRC Mobile Office: where they too set up a stand on Jammie Plaza.

Hallendorff describes the new office as “a way to bring the office down to the students”.

Despite the new office, the SRC also found itself kept busy during the residence opening on 29 January, where they were faced with a high number of students who did not have a place in the university’s residences.

Marissa van Rensburg, SRC representative of Transformation, explains that a lot of students assume an academic acceptance by their faculty includes a residence place which is not the case.

Tarryn Naude, SRC representative for Media & Communication, says: “We were there speaking to students lining-up, the stranded students that couldn’t get into res. What we have seen so far is that we can push from the management side to improve the situation. That’s why we tried to be on-the-ground to show students our

faces and that we are there for them.”

SRC and RAG provided freshers with another new event: the “RAG Residence Olympics” which was held on the Green Mile. This event included a competition between the first-year residences, encouraging them to become involved and gain UCT spirit.

Besides the academic orientation during O-Week, RAG also organised with the help of RED BULL sponsors, the Springboks “Street Party”: where Cape Town artists such as “The Plastics” and “The Kiffness” performed.

In addition to these events, SAX Appeal, UCT’s annual charitable magazine sale, took place on Thursday, 7 February 2013. Just over 2 000 UCT students took to the streets of Cape Town - roughly selling 45 000 magazines, reaching well over 200 000 people at 85 different depots in Cape Town. This year UCT students took to the streets dressed in Zombie Apocalypse style, selling SAX Appeal magazines in early-morning traffic, with all the proceeds going to SHAWCO for its many community programs.

The Orientation program ended with a big bang, as the 2013 BIG BASH party at the Grand Parade in town concluded the two-week program on Friday, 8 February 2013; with 4 000 students in attendance.

Artists such as “Cul de Soel”, “Crazy White Boy”, “Ready D. Hyphen” and “DJ Luvchild” performed live.

Naude concludes: “O-Week is not just an event; it is a process.

Everything has just started to build a strong base for students, a foundation for 2013.”

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V72 E1 – 12 FEBRUARY 2013

The portable SRC Krysia Gaweda

ith the rebranding complete, and a new Mobile SRC office, the 2013 Student Representative Council (SRC) is off to a good start remodelling the their image.

Despite the image of previous years, where the SRC were often described by students as “invisible” and “scarce”, the 2013 SRC members has taken it upon themselves to change that image.

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Now, with the mobile office, it is far more convenient to be in contact with the SRC Lorne Hallendorff, 2013 SRC president, comments, “We are sharply aware of the criticism that the SRC is not visible enough and that we spend too much time hidden away on level 7. Our intention is, to quite literally, bring the SRC offices down to the food court and beyond.”

The new Mobile SRC Office can be seen all over the university; including the food court on Upper Campus, Jameson Plaza, Medical Campus, Lower Campus and Middle Campus.

“More than being visible, we hope to use the office to help us market events, run awareness campaigns and gather student opinion on important matters such as the Admissions Policy debate or different elements of UCT financial policy,” said Hallendorff.

Thabo Nhlapo, a fourth-year Electrical Engineering student, said that he believed the SRC mobile

Image: Tarryn Naude Jammie Plaza: 2013 SRC’s Home Away From The Steve Biko’s Office office was a good idea and could help students. “It is near to students and far more accessible now. Previously the SRC was separate from the students.” He said.

Students across all campuses have responded positively to the SRC’s new mindset and have commented on how the 2013 SRC is far more

“reachable” and “approachable”, since the launch of their new mobile office.

“In previous years, students had to go to the Steve Biko building and often you wouldn’t be able to find the right offices. Now, with the mobile office, it is far more convenient to be in contact with

the SRC and it gives students the motivation to use the office and involve the SRC,” said Simon Makola, a fourth-year electrical engineering student.

Hallendorff explained that the new set-up is an effort to be “more visible, more accessible and more engaging with students”, so as to

allow them to be more involved and informed of student opinion.

“We [the SRC] realise that in order for us to have any legitimacy, we must have the support of the student body. We hope that the Mobile SRC Office will assist in getting the student body completely behind the SRC. Time will tell if it

International rape crisis Jessica Breakey

ll eyes have been on India after the rape and murder of a 23-year-old female student on a Delhi bus in December.

Six men were arrested and charged after the woman, Jyoti Singh, died in a Singapore hospital two weeks later after suffering from severe internal injuries.

Singh, from the Manirika area of Delhi, was said to have boarded the bus with a male companion when she was gruesomely assaulted and gangraped before being thrown, naked, off the moving bus.

Five of the accused have signed statements to say they were innocent - after being formally charged in a fast track court. The sixth suspect is set to be tried in juvenile court.

The Delhi rape triggered widespread anger and international outrage, sparking off a series of rape-related protests in India.

Thousands of Indian citizens gathered in the streets, protesting the Government’s inadequate protection of women and the poor response of police. The protesters called for

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Image: flickr.com/ AJStrem

harsher laws against sexual violence to be immediately enforced.

The South African government has spoken out against the rape of Anene Booysen On Wednesday, January 23, a Commission under India’s exchief of justice was appointed to extensively examine the country’s laws on sexually related crimes. The Commission recommended a faster trial process and more lengthy prison sentences. The Indian government ignored the recommendation, and the president was seen signing a law that raises the conviction of gang rape to a minimum of 20 years; with the death penalty being exercised in extreme cases, from February 3.

The new law allows for the death penalty to be enforced in cases where the rape has led to death or a “persistent vegetative state”. The day after the president passed the new law, protesters took to the streets in a display of their continued dissatisfaction

with India’s stance on rape and sexual violence.

India is not the only country battling a rape crisis, with a handful of alleged rapes making headlines since Jyoti Singh’s death. The South African government has spoken out against the rape of Anene Booysen, a 17-year-old girl found by security guards at a construction site in Bredasdorp, Western Cape, last weekend.

Booysen later died from her injuries at Tygerberg Hospital, after being gang-raped and severely mutilated by her attackers.

President Jacob Zuma expressed his disgust at the rape, describing the crime as shocking, cruel and inhumane. As of Friday, two arrests have been made with Government warning that harsher sentences on such crimes will be imposed.

Phumla Williams, acting CEO of Government Communication and Information Systems stated, "This has to stop. We are confident that our law enforcement agencies will ensure that all perpetrators are behind bars. They must face the full wrath of our law”.

editorial Editorial

Editor-in-Chief

[A very catchy title]

wise man once described diversity as an old old wooden ship. The very same wise man also said that San Diego is a synonym for a whale’s vagina. He was a famous anchor man for Channel 4 News, but unfortunately for him he tried to sound fancy when it wasn’t necessary.

Everyone interprets the world differently. Everyone interprets what we say and what we write in their own way. No one word has the same meaning for everyone, even if your understanding of a city’s etymology is as off as Ron Burgandy’s ‘whale vagina interpretation’ (I’ve never been to San Diego, but I assume that it doesn’t resemble a female whale’s genitals).

We are tricked into believing that the Oxford dictionary holds all the true meanings of words, that it’s a shining beacon of hope that was whizzed down from the universe to provide mere mortals with a guideline to life on earth.

It has an author or even authors.

Scholars, in fact. Students at university. You and I, for instance.

So here we are referring to a stack of pages with millions of words printed on it for the meanings of things that can only really make sense to you in your own way. We invent the meanings as we are students, scholars and even authors.

Your world may not necessarily be the same as mine even though we may experience the same moment at the exact same time.

Take O-Week for example, your first-year experience will be filled with balloons and alcohol and all

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Rebecca Dallas Deputy Editor

My phone won’t stop vibrating.

I’m at work – frustrated because my friends keep calling. When I finally answer my brutally honest boyfriend tells me something I am not prepared

Mitch Prinsloo

Theresa Scott

Online Editor

Copy Editor

A year of Zombies, RPGs and wubwubwub Supposed to be dead! Haven’t they ever watched a Zombie movie?” I would shout at the TV after watching countless lowbudget Horror films. It doesn’t seem real when you think that just a few years ago…

“

d

Level 5, Steve Biko Students’ Union

w eb im ag e de s sig n ad s fin an ce hr

@varsitynewspaper.co.za

2013 Collective

to hear: ‘Georgie was killed in a car accident last night’.

Until it happens to you, you have no idea what it’s like. To see the front page of The Times and it is your friend killed in that accident.

Drunk driving. Smashed vehicle.

I had seen her six hours before at Tiger. She was glowing, vibrant, happy ... alive. Her status on BBM: “Round 17 because sleep is for the weak!”

It is surreal. My Stats buddy, the carefree horse-lover who didn’t know that there were trains in Cape Town; my friend – she is gone and I will never see her again. Her Facebook page is a charade - we write on her wall but she can’t write back. It hurts. My

heart aches.

They say that losing a friend is a rite of passage to growing up, but the aftermath is a rocky path. We know that bad stuff happens, but hey! It doesn’t happen to us. Don’t be so sure.

When you’re living the ‘student life’ it’s so easy to get caught up in your own world, but don’t forget to appreciate the people you love, because the sort of pain you feel when you lose a friend is immeasurable.

Ed Sheeran’s lyrics ring true: the worst things in life certainly do come free to us.

- Thanks for listening, R..

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‘the worst things in life come free to us’

Alexandra Nagel

the rest of that fluff that drives you kids crazy for places like Tin Roof. My experience of O-Week as a third-year-student, on the other hand, entails boisterous chuckling at the fatal disease you all will be encountering soon (can everyone please give a warm round of applause to the marvellous FirstYear-Spread).

But at the end of the day it doesn’t matter which of us has the best experience because we can only claim to have had it. The ridiculousness of FOMO isn’t even real because you cannot possibly have a fear of missing out on something that will be entirely different to you anyways. We’re not all black, we’re not all skinny, we’re not all smart, so how can a fear of missing out on a party be a real insecurity when it is going to be different to everyone there?

You can try your absolute best to use the words that the Oxford Dictionary has so kindly graced us with, but even those stacks of pages are limiting to us. Language binds us to a seculded orb within the ginormous bosom of Mother Earth. There is no wrong way and there is no right. Hell, the right way may even be the wrong way and so we decide to go left instead.

Over the next couple of months you will experience change, whether you are a little fresher trying to work out the routes of those blue-bus monstrosities or a post grad now moulding into the university’s walls, becoming the ivy that all of us admire so much. You can use all the words in the world to try and describe the indescribable and it is only indescribable because we are limited by that thick book stacked with pages that tell you how and when to use which words and where.

I stand by my wise friend. Ron Burgunday, as he so innocently refers to diversity as an ancient floating plank of wood. Because it doesn’t matter if that isn’t the meaning printed in the dictionary or it’s not on the lecture slides. So right now I can only infer, intend and hope to God that you, lovely readers, do in fact draw a meaning from this column in which I didn’t intend.

v72 e1 - 12 February 2013

editor-in-chief Alexandra Nagel deputy Editor Rebecca Dallas managing Editor Andrew Montandon Copy Editor Theresa Scott online editor Mitch Prinsloo Online chief subber Laurie Scarborough news Krysia Gaweda & Chris van der Westhuyzen opinions Katy Scott & Uthman Quick features Daniël Geldenhuys & Lynne Marie Fraser sportS Rob Byrne & Megan Kinnaird centrespread Zarmeen Ghoor images Tebesethu Nkambule, Elelwani Netshifhire, Siyanda Ralane & Jessica Breakey Design Julien Speyer web Stephen Hulme, Robin Mukanganise & Peter Maluge advertising & Finance Imaad Isaacs & Salman Ghoor human resources Tanyaradzwa Dzumbunu & Kudzai Tabaziba sub-editors Marike Watson, Beverly Ochieng’, Hannah Gauss, Stef Martin, Jena Ascough, Jean Pieterse & Laura Irvine

Andrew Montandon Managing Editor

Fuzzy logic

Get off my lawn!

the most severely underutilised by-product of this democratic system is the subtle power of its people and constituents to deliberately refocus national attention to where matters are most...”

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Despite residing in a suburb which is consistently regarded as the greenest in the city, there is an earthy section of my garden which remains a dismal brown...”

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opinions

V72 E1 – 12 FEBRUARY 2013

Is Africa rising in the 21st century?

Scotty Does Know

Baraka Msulwa t is over a decade into the 21st century and the substantial economic growth of Africa has caught the attention of supporters and critics alike.

In recent times, major Western publications, namely, The Economist and Time Magazine, have been in agreement about the rising economic prospects of the continent.

The sentiment has not always been so upbeat, with The Economist reporting on ‘Hopeless Africa’ at the dawn of the century, and Time Magazine remarking on how ‘hope is Africa’s rarest commodity.’

Image: flickr .com income – not from real growth, but statistical manipulation.

It has also been suggested that growth rates in countries like Tanzania and Zambia have been substantially overestimated for more than two decades. The available data does not provide much of a conclusive picture on this.

Add a little to one country’s economy, take some away from another one, and we’re not quite sure which way we’re growing as a continent. It is very difficult to endorse the claims of Africa rising when the supporting statistics raise a lot of questions.

Contrary to popular (or Western) belief, we have no idea how fast Africa is rising, or if it is rising at

all. This twist in the ‘Africa Rising narrative’ calls to question the relevance and measurement of the supporting economic indicators.

Many African countries are using outdated methodologies and poor data in reporting their GDP figures.

How could we possibly know how fast we are rising, as a continent, if we can barely measure how fast individual countries are growing?

Thus, the underlying question should not deal with whether Africa is rising rapidly or not. Until we can accurately and reliably measure how each African country is growing, it would be futile to speculate as to whether the continent is indeed rising as quickly as has been suggested.

The ‘Bugger All’ degree hat’s the difference between a Humanities graduate and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

It’s a joke most BA students will have heard, most likely from a vested and sandaled Commerce student or a parody twitter account. But the laughs leave bruises. As fulfilling and wonderful as an education in the arts can be, it hardly provides graduates with a plethora of job opportunities, and certainly not lucrative ones.

Perhaps it’s time the university rethinks admission requirements for the faculty. I once met a student majoring in English Literature who said, without irony, that her favourite book is “Eat, Pray, Love”. In my

W

ven though I am the last person to advocate Valentine's Day, I do respect that this is the month of love and it is for this reason alone that I am attempting to turn a blind eye, a deaf ear and a middle finger to the infidelity and chauvinism that is penetrating through South Africa at present.

In reaching this point of maturity, I have come to realise that I need to accept the unchangeable and utterly incomprehensible things about this country I so love.

For instance, I will never understand how we have remained faithful to a cheating, squandering government, like a woman clinging onto an abusive relationship, after nearly 20 years.

I will never fully grasp how talentless Asian men galloping about or selling ‘one Pound fish’ in the most tasteless of videos can tickle the world pink, yet a heartfelt FNB advert can be considered a ‘treasonous attack’ on South African governance.

I will never be able to fathom how rape has become such a customary practice that it no longer has the capacity, even in its rawest, ugliest form, to shock a nation into action.

I will never comprehend how age-old race theories can still be stock responses to any ‘unsavoury’ opinion. This was particularly eyebrow-raising in the recent lambasting of Gillian Schutte's

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Many African countries are using outdated methodologies and poor data

Luke Watson

Opinions Editor

What I smaak about you

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Let’s recap. Western opinions, supported by data and statistics collected by the World Bank, IMF or [insert yet another “credible” data source here], have provided bipolar accounts of Africa’s economic prospects over the past 20 years – because all 54 African economies tend to move in unison. Right?

It is disconcerting how much weight Western opinion musters when it comes to the representation of the continent. Analysis could, at the very least, account for the diverse economic activity across the constituent countries of Africa.

Before we get excited about the recent endorsement bestowed upon us, it is necessary to explore the veracity of statistics used to support the claims of the continent being on the rise.

Ghana’s fate as one of the poorest countries in the world was transformed when it revised its GDP estimates and became US$13bn richer overnight. That’s a 60% increase in their national

Katy Scott

experience, the Humanities faculty is populated by hundreds of people who’d rather not be there, and a few who want to be there a bit too much.

If you wanted to be rich, you would have done Law There are the commerce, engineering and medicine rejects, and there are pseudo-intellectual hipster types who name-drop Plato and Goethe in conversations about fro-yo. The unholy alliance between these two groups manifests in a faculty filled with awkward silences and white noise. At times, lectures and seminars feel like funerals.

This apathy and snobbery make

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constructive discussions extremely rare. The few that have something to say stay silent for fear of derision, such as the time I was made to feel ignorant and racist for suggesting that MXit is an obsolete medium.

Is it fair to expect that such a fraught education would result in real employment prospects? The few that actually want to be there, who work relatively hard and stick it out until the end (and I count myself amongst that number) have few tangible skills besides making obscure pop-culture references and vaguely alluding to philosophical theories ('crisis of efficiency'). The Humanities faculty (at least the BA part) seems to produce characters from Woody Allen movies rather than professionals.

The vicious circularity of a BA education at UCT is that it allows eager students to indulge their bohemian fantasies, but without equipping them with the knowledge to back it up. Biology aside, BA students are an army of Hannah

letter entitled ‘Dear White People’ which implored white South Africans to “wake up and smell Africa with a fresh white nose” by questioning their sense of entitlement, their arrogance, their privilege and their supremacy.

So yes, Gillian, come this crappy, commercial day of PDA, I shall be turning my peachy nose up at such nonsense, and breathing in the things I love about this country, the things that refresh my soul and fill my heart.

Like the hum of the city as it lights up from within, and the smugness a home-cooked meal brings to my grumbling stomach.

It's those clouds that roll lazily off the table perched in our sky, and the breath I find myself catching as the sun bleeds into the night.

It's the window open whilst I sleep and the leg that reaches out from the covers toward the tickle of the breeze.

It's the smile an old tune brings, or one you catch someone giving themselves. It's the everything in the white-toothed smile of a child with nothing, and the toothless ones on the back of a bakkie.

It's the sweet burst of thumbs in naartjies and the zest that lingers under fingernails. It's the sarmies in school lunchboxes, the klippies in coke and the rusks in ouma's tea.

It's the thank you in the flash of a car's hazards and the laughs that reach a crescendo of soundlessness.

It's the simple things that we chance upon each day.

So this Valentine's Day, why not find some breathing space amidst the pollution and take the time to rediscover the little splendours that surround you.

And if all else fails, go buy some chocolate, I hear it's cheap this time of year.

Disclaimer The VARSITY Opinions section is a vehicle for expression on any topic by members of the university community or other interested parties. The opinions within this section are not necessarily those of the VARSITY Collective or its advertisers.

Letters to the Editor need to be kept to a maximum of 300 words and can be sent to:

opinions@varsitynewspaper.co.za

Horvath’s, wanting to be a voice of a generation, but with essentially nothing to say.

Still, it cannot be denied that thousands of UCT BA graduates have had great success at home and abroad – artists, writers, journalists, teachers, social workers and many others who have diverged from the original career path and still contributed to society in some way.

Perhaps the Girls reference is apt, because in most cases the problem of a ‘Bugger All’ degree is a champagne problem. We may not be eminently employable or in danger of obscene wealth, but we are educated. We get to be #UCTSNOBs. We get to immerse ourselves in the things we are passionate about.

Besides, if you wanted to be rich, you would have done Law.

opinions

V72 E1 - 12 FEBRUARY 2013

7

Our unfinished revolution

Jessica Breakey

he born-free generation has finally come of age; our struggle is over and there is nothing left to fight for.

I felt uncomfortable even typing that statement, although it often appears to be the general attitude of many, particularly the youth, in South Africa.

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The lines dividing us are entrenched deep in our society A more appropriate statement would be: the born-free generation has finally come of age in a nation plagued by poverty, unemployment, corruption and crime.

Our struggle for equality is not over, as the lines dividing us are entrenched deep in our society. There is nothing left to fight for because we would rather go on Facebook.

The number of times I have witnessed intelligent young South Africans shrug off injustice whilst mumbling something about the ‘struggle’ being over as an attempt to soothe their conscience is seriously disconcerting.

We tend to speak about our infamous past as though it is a distant memory, something we have

moved on from, something we have achieved, but what if this is not true?

What if our revolution is unfinished?

The term often used, ‘student apathy’, is one that is constantly spoken of throughout UCT, followed shortly thereafter with suggestions on how to combat students’ apparent lack of interest in student affairs.

However, the question I pose is how we overcome a broader and more serious apathetic attitude, one that has spread throughout our society, specifically amongst the younger generations.

Many of you may disagree with my observation of a generation that is seemingly too passive to progress.

Yes, there may currently be an air of revolution in South Africa, as there is clearly in Africa as a whole, and deservedly so, however, the potential revolt does not stem from the youth. Rather, we still choose to sit on the sidelines whilst the ‘grownups’ continue to fight for their and our survival.

Over the last few months, headlines about miners striking, farm workers protesting and poor communities demanding their basic human rights have been splashed across every major newspaper in the country.

Yet, I cannot remember the last time I read a story about mass student protest at any university in South Africa. The passion for justice and equality that engulfed our nation two decades ago has

The lines dividing us are entrenched deep in our society

Image: flickr.com

fizzled out whilst injustice and inequality persist.

I am unable to decide if we are a generation in denial, scared at the possibility of what the future may hold for our country, or just a lazy generation that has been spoilt by handouts. Instead, we choose to wait

in hope for promises to be delivered, whilst relying on others to fight for our rights.

Maybe I am wrong, maybe our struggle really is over and there is nothing left for us to worthily demand. Perhaps an education is not something that everyone in our

country deserves, perhaps gender equality doesn’t really exist and corruption actually is an essential part of government and business.

Maybe I am wrong, but I doubt it.

I am a non-believer of the ‘strugglefree generation’.

Where to find us:

Steve Biko Building (next to food court), Chemistry Lane, Upper Campus, University of Cape Town, 7700

Tel: 087 820 JUTA(5882) Fax: 021 650 5771 Email: uctbooks@juta.co.za

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opinions

V72 E1 – 12 FEBRUARY 2013

UCT pushing for or silencing inclusivity?

Sandile Tshabalala t is imperative for us to question to what extent UCT enforces the inclusiveness agenda for the students it admits. Perhaps it will be until we see students like Chaeli Mycroft receiving accessibility that we will collectively clap our hands and celebrate the existence of inclusion at UCT. It is, without a doubt, that a transformed university is the one that no longer embraces stereotypical views of others based on their gender, race or disability.

UCT attempts to ensure that it is a place experienced by all its staff and students as inclusive and nurturing.

However, to what extent is UCT aggressive on the inclusiveness agenda? A first year in a wheel chair cannot access certain venues and may be considered too ‘fragile’ to be hugged by her friends. This is not indicative of an inclusive and accommodating envirnoment.

Chaeli is a first year Humanities student, recipient of the International Children’s Peace Prize and Cofounder of the Chaeli Campaign. In spite of being in a wheelchair, Chaeli is always smiling and easy-going.

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“It bothers me being unable to access venues like Jameson Hall” When asked about inclusiveness at UCT, she said, “I am comfortable and open with my disability; I am not bothered about how people perceive me, nor will that ever stop me from being a pioneer, although it bothers me being unable to access venues like Jameson Hall.”

Inclusiveness can be considered as creating a diverse student body that is mindful of mutual respect, equality, valuing differences and acknowledging inequality.

Image: Jessica Breakey

Inclusiveness challenges all of us to overcome instilled perceptions and to change our minds on matters relating to disability, racialism, redress and demographic change at the university.

Promoting an environment that is inclusive requires all management, staff and students to collaborate in order to transform and ensure that

the objectives of expanding diversity are met, so that UCT can be a place ‘owned’ by all.

UCT can only be inclusive once it is an affirming environment in which students like Chaeli feel comfortable and incorporated in all aspects of their social and academic experiences.

UCT needs to strengthen its

engagement with students by creating space for learning and teaching that caters for all. A place that does not undermine the social inequalities and complexities reflected in our society.

Inclusiveness in a university context must be beyond seeking to improve the teaching and learning experience, and must also include accessibility,

ANC vs FNB Uthman Quick

t what point should a revolution end? When the revolutionaries are in power, or when ‘the revolution’ affects real change on the ground? Amid all the debate around the increasingly sloganistic public forays of this country’s ruling party and government, these central questions seem irrelevant and absurd.

After the protracted and downright ugly saga around ‘The Spear’ painting, First National Bank, decided it too wanted to have a go at political controversy with its ‘You Can Help’ advertising campaign last month. Many agree that the FNB ads were poorly executed and, quite frankly, represented a pathetic attempt at marketing a business as more important than what it is: a business.

Most South Africans would probably rather have FNB and the rest of the banking industry “help” them by lowering the ridiculously high banking charges.

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For example, simple things like withdrawing money or by not compromising the countries’ sovereignty by bowing to American foreign policy hacks and closing the accounts of bona fide South African charities.

The fact that a country as poor as South Africa has some of the highest

Any constructive criticism of government...has to be tolerated in a democratic state banking fees in the world is ludicrous and highlights the need for the likes of FNB to look in the mirror before throwing stones. Does this mean that big business is being counterrevolutionary when it criticizes the ruling party? That idea is also laughable.

Any constructive criticism of government, whether by ordinary high school children or high school children reading scripts given to them by a large conglomerate, has

Image: Jessica Breakey to be tolerated in a democratic state.

While the debate around whether the use of harsh revolutionary language to combat criticism will continue, many have missed the sheer irony of the

ANC’s position.

While Minister of Mineral Resources, Susan Shabangu, bends over backwards to reassure mining executives at the Mining Indaba and

social responsiveness and awareness of accepting differences and embracing commonality among staff and students.

UCT ought to reinforce student support to improve academic success and social wellbeing of all. Inclusiveness at UCT calls for integration within the student body regardless of race, gender, class and disability.

Pravin Gordhan sweet talks delegates at the World Economic Forum, other representatives of government/ruling party (there seems to be no difference to some) were labelling FNB’s actions treasonous and an attempt to recreate the ‘Arab spring’.

The paranoia of those in power in South Africa is alarming, yet the mainstream media and far too many educated commentators seem to be hooked up on the semantics of politics. However, the people on the streets of De Doorns and Sasolburg couldn’t care less about FNB’s disingenuous marketing or the ANC’s hypersensitivity.

Free speech and the right to criticise the government are fundamental issues, but not the beall and end-all of life in this country.

Too much of modern-day politics (including student politics on this campus) is based on what people say and/or should not say. The ANC has long ceased to be a revolutionary organisation in practice - thus its use of revolutionary language is an immaterial waste of time.

So when the next political scandal breaks, ask yourself whether the issues being discussed really have an impact. on your life or the lives of ordinary people.

opinions COLUMN EXCHANGE

Let’s Chat

V72 E1 - 12 FEBRUARY 2013

Dear Day Students

with The Vista student newspaper: Oklahoma University

Alexandra Nagel

Trevor Hultner

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will be completely honest: I've put writing this column off for roughly three weeks. I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of making myself look like a fool. I can write to University of Central Oklahoma students because I know them – I experience everything like they do, and on some level, we share a cultural bond. But my knowledge, cultural, historical or otherwise, of South Africa – even narrowed to just Cape Town – is provincial at best and completely lacking at worst. I am most likely completely devoide of any authority to talk about any subject that might be even remotely relevant to any of your interests.

Another moment of honesty: I'm completely disappointed in myself for thinking in this mindset.

After all, we're all human. We share experiences across national and cultural borders. I've seen this simply walking around my university's campus, where people from all over the world – 113 nations represented at UCO during the Fall 2012 semester alone – gather and mingle to learn from professors and, more importantly, from each other.

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These two attitudes, I think, represent well the conflict going on in the minds of young adults the world over at this very moment. I want to know more about different places. I want to experience things outside of my realm of understanding. The fact that getting this column assignment made me uncomfortable is a good thing.

I don't have any words of inspiration; that's not my thing, and besides, it would be silly for me to assume that I could offer any worthwhile words of wisdom past, “I think college is a great thing – stay in school!” In fact, I don't have much to say at all.

I would therefore like to use this

@UCTsnob

Hannah MacMillan

he University of Cape Town (UCT) is world-renowned for its history and its location. But what really makes or breaks a place is its population, and many Ikeys are considered snobs. To discover how one might attain such a title, cast your eyes upon the very next line: “You go to [insert name of another tertiary institution]? Oh, you mean you were rejected by UCT?” The above quip may be no more than that: a witticism. But witticism or not, such talk does not endear us to our fellow students, many of whom may well be our future colleagues.

Too often we assume that those at other institutions are there by consequence and not by choice.

This assumption is incredibly undermining and completely untrue for the majority. UCT does not cater for everyone, nor is it the only renowned institution in South Africa, Africa, or the rest of the world.

Yes, according to the Times Higher Education World University Rankings, UCT is indeed the topranked university in Africa. But one can assume that this ranking (in the verbal sense of the word) does not depend on a spectacular view, Jammie Shuttles, ivy-covered buildings or famous history - things which we often brag about to our friends in other institutions.

Most of us listen to music and have a general idea of who the highranking musicians are. One thing we know about high-ranking musicians is that their names appear on some

opportunity to ask you, my onetime reader of Varsity, if you would be willing to share what it is that makes Cape Town awesome (or indeed, if you're of the opposite opinion, what makes it less than awesome).

For example: what sort of restaurants/cuisine are popular?

To what extent do American-based restaurant chains have an effect on local businesses in the food industry? What's the music scene like? What's the current state of any punk rock, hardcore or hip-hop scenes that exist? What are some good bands that I should check out?

You can shoot me a message at the email address below. In return, I'll tell you some things – as much as I can, anyway – about Oklahoma culture.

I want to do this, not only because I'm interested in what it's like in Cape Town (both as a sort of tourist and otherwise), but because one column is nowhere near enough time for me to get acquainted with you.

Thanks to the editors on both Varsity and The Vista, Mitch Prinsloo and Ben Luschen respectively, for throwing out this opportunity to exchange columns.

Feel free to say “hi” at thultner10@ gmail.com.

Image: blog.treadmilldoctor.com charts and not on others (and millions of people listen to music quite happily not knowing who appears on said charts).

Another thing we know about high-ranking musicians is that their rankings change all the time based on what they produce: i.e. their respective performances.

Similarly, UCT’s ranking is not finite or eternal, nor does it simply exist. UCT’s ranking depends on the performance of its population.

UCT’s name is not a guarantee: it is a standard. There are expectations attached to the identity and performance of every single student who comes here. If attending the “top-ranked university in Africa” (according to the Times) is important enough to continually share with others, we should make sure that we maintain that standard and do not just publish it. upon continual regeneration. And guess what? We are the generators.

oming back to the castle on the hill with all your future dreams spread out on the Vula page in the form of a tut sign-up sheet, with iPads (or possibly a pad with an drawn-on-eye on it) snugly laying in your new satchel that says “I love CT” on it, just makes you want to flash your student card to the world. The luxurious ride on the Jammie from Hiddingh to Upper Campus is just the magic carpet ride you need to give your day that extra Disney feel.

All of a sudden, the dark clouds from above start rolling in to shatter your perfect day. That’s right, I said DAY as in you are a Day Student and your experience only lasts for one day at a time.

Waiting in endless queues for the Hiddingh Jammie to make its way to town since it either comes 5 minutes early or 20 minutes late.

You miss the tut that you so badly needed to sign up for due to a timetable clash because you don’t have internet at your digs and have used up your entire student internet cap . You forget your iPad charger at home (home being the digs in town that you share with 6 other weirdoes from places like the ‘deep South’) and so have to

resort to a pad, on which you drew an eye, and a pen to remind you of the fancy gadget that you once caressed with confidence.

UCT is even so kind as to give you a Day House (formally known as iKhaya) just to make you feel more at home on the campus that you only get to experience once a day. You even have to pay to use this house on top of it (as if paying for something that emphasises your daily presence is supposed to ease the hole that’s growing inside).

I say rise up Day Students. Rise up and fight for your right to be recognised as something more than just creepy lingerers whose kitchen is the Cissy Gool Mall, whose bedroom is at the very back of the lecture hall and whose showers are the sprinklers that flood the Blue Route on the way to Middle campus.

You should believe that you are more than just the hour-hand that ticks away on the clock in your seminar room. You are immortal because even though you may fade away from the campus grounds as the clock strikes twelve, you will respawn the next day as well as the next day and the next day and the next day.

Lots of love Your creepy digs mate

To be UCT or not to be Hannah Gauss

urvival of the fittest or rather how to stay at UCT? “Welcome to UCT, the best university on the African continent.”

If you have been hearing this sentence lately you are officially a number, a member of ‘the hill family’.

It took you approximately 18 years, 12 of those in an educational institution and half of your parent’s savings to immortalise your face on a R60-plastic-card.

You are now at UCT. However, I do recall being told in my first semester by a young lady in the foodcourt: “It’s not about how you get here, that’s easy. The question is if you stay.”

As much as it does scare you, dearest freshers (and I know it does, behind your iPad-inducedconfidence), UCT is not the wolf hiding in the grandma’s bed and you are not little Red Riding Hood.

I know we had our Cinderella dreams printed on a shiny brochure booklet. The dreams of standing on Jameson steps with your extended degree, basking in the sunlight.

Our CV shining with all the volunteering projects, SRC membership and Ikey Tiger captain title. But as we all know, Cape Town weather is never stable and this specifically counts for a place up on the hill. Reality kicks in after the RAG party series, Mzoli’s feast and never-ending days of fun. It pours down on you with the first wave of essays with a big red 40% stamped on it as well as the nearburnout experience (after one or two 40-hour-working-weeks).

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The rain and the clouds may pass, but like the neverending Mother City’s wind, the one thing nagging you is the question: do I really belong here? I tried to answer this question for a period of 12 months, in between my Liesbeeck Garden’s room, neverending night shifts in the library and the tireless trek to getting my 70%.

I did not do any volunteer work,

“Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.” nor passed any of my courses on a Dean’s list. I did not publish a single article and avoided most RAG, Groove Africa and SideShow party events (in between Claremont and Camps Bay). Frankly, I have not even seen Table Mountain.

Our Cinderella dreams are facing the a Red Riding Hood tale between sloshed Longstreet nights, love, drama, residence nightmares and a neverending marathon after the next deadline.

My R60-plastic card did not come with a voucher for UCT success however, Cape Town winds sooner or later change and as author Dave Barry said: “Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.” So be the Little Red Riding Hood AND the wolf. You set your priorities, you make your degree and you will unconsciously attend a new UCT course called “Making the impossible things possible:

2005F”. My recipe for a Cinderella story 2013: 80% of work in 20% of time, have enough sleep, food and exercise. Keep calm and do your work and I promise you will become a part of UCT. Academic Mentoring

Academic reading, research and writing made easy for all university & college students, mature students,also students who have been out of research and writing for a while

One on one consulting and workshops on writing for academic purposes: Essay writing, honours, masters, PhD proposals; students stuck in the writing process, thesis structuring; how to read an academic article and texts, how to avoid plagiarism, how to do research, build confidence and develop skills.

Workshops on offer every month in Rondebosch – working with your own material.

For more information, please email info@academicmentoring.co.za or call Bastienne Klein on: 083 550 8634 www.academicmentoring.co.za

’s Y T I S VAR r Freshe ts Recrui

HE 2

ELLO 2013

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features

V72 E1 – 12 FEBRUARY 2013

“What I wish I knew in first year” Tips from team VARSITY I wish someone had told me not to sign up for so many clubs straight off the bat because I didn’t go to most of them, and I wish someone had told me to never wear flowy skirts on campus...ever. You can guess the reason for that!

Megan Kinnaird - Deputy Sports Editor

I wish I knew not to pick random demanding electives. Always pick ones that are to an extent linked to your major. Make sure they are easy too! (It increases your GPA)!

Tanya Dzumbunu – Human Resources Manager

I wish I had known about Purple Haze in the architecture building.

The high I get from - no I’m kidding.

It’s a little cafe with delicious food, quick moving queues and the cheapest toasted sarmies around.

Pity it’s all the way across campus though - what a mission!

Rebecca Dallas – Deputy Editor

What I wish I knew in my first year was that UCT parking tickets are real and you will be given a ticket (or numerous) for parking on campus as a first year without a disk. Secondly, not paying them may solve the issue for a couple months, but eventually

they will find you and make you pay… or they will just clamp your wheel.

Krysia Gaweda – News Editor

I wish I knew a lot of things back then – that campus life passes too quickly, that one’s real friends are the ones that know your Vula password because they’re submitting your essay online while you run to make it to the box on time, that UCT actually pays you if you get decent grades and most importantly that Super Sandwich’s chocolate muffins cure everything.

Zarmeen Ghoor – Centrespread Editor

It wasn’t until late in my first year that I discovered the North-side Jammie stop is far more convenient than the other stops on Upper Campus. The North-side stop, being the Jammie’s first drop-off point, is most likely to guarantee you a seat, no matter where you are heading.

This might not hold true for 2013, depending of course on how many of you actually read and follow this hint.

Chris van der Westhuyzen – Deputy News Editor

In first year I wish someone had

told me to stop eating a number 3 sandwich from Frigo everyday because first year spread is real and second year shed is a fallacy.

Jessica Breakey - Deputy Image Editor

I wish I knew how to roll cigarettes in first year. All my non-smoker university mates, with their inquiring degree-orientated minds, asked me what the difference between Camel, Marlborough, Stuyvesant and Kent was. The truth is they all taste relatively the same: too much tobacco, packed too tight, by a machine with chemicals so it doesn’t go off in the box. Rolling is the authentic smoking experience.

Julien Speyer – Layout

discover UCT together which would have made the 1st 3 weeks of my life here much easier!

Kudzai Tabaziba – Deputy Human Resources Manager

Having been very academically competitive in high school, I wish I had realized when coming to varsity that class ranking would become one of the least important things to worry about. Just focus on doing your personal best and forget about the rest, it takes away all the unnecessary pressure!

Tebesutfu Nkambule – Images Editor

Elelwani Netshifhire – Deputy Images Editor

Asking directions for lecture venues or Jammies is a no-no, TBA isn’t a venue, lanyards around your necks are laughable, and DP isn’t detention. A summer job will be needed to pay for all the cigarettes you will begin to smoke and the coffee drip you will have permanently installed in your arm.

I wish I had known that most people were as scared and homesick as I was. Maybe I wouldn’t have been as withdrawn as I was, wallowing in my own sadness. It would have helped to hang out with other students and

Put in the effort with looking for second-hand textbooks. And ask people you know who have done the course if the textbook was helpful.

If not, don’t pay R400 for a new

I wish I knew about all the facilities which are available to help students adapt to the university environment.

Foremost I wish I was really certain about the career path I pursued.

Katy Scott – Opinions Editor

textbook you’ll never even unwrap.

Laurie Scarborough – Online Copy Editor

What I wish I knew in first year?

More like what I wish I didn’t know.

I wish I didn’t know about the Open Door policy (click the safety button when you google search this) because now I will never look at some of my favourite lecturers in the same way again.

Alexandra Nagel – Editor In Chief

I wish someone told me not to take life so seriously when I was in first year. First year is relatively easy so it is a time to be happy and enjoy life because the years ahead are going to be tough. So my advice for the fresh meat is to party, enjoy the sun take up surfing or something!

Robin Mukanganise – Deputy Web Editor

I wish I knew a way to make those demonic campus sparrows really scared of me. Scared enough to fly so high they either lose oxygen or get fried by the sun. I still wish I knew.

Daniël Geldenhuys – Features Editor

Cost of survival

Here’s how inflation will affect you this year Malilimalo Phaswana he most anticipated day of the month for students is payday. Long Street, BIS and that pair of shades from Jay Jays would be slightly harder to acquire if we didn’t get that monthly dose of dough.

For a more-or-less fixed income, you need to be aware of things that make your wallet thinner. With the expertise of UCT’s macroeconomics lecturer, Professor Leigh Neethling, we’ll take a look at the biggest factors that will affect your 2013 cash flow, thus helping you spend your money more wisely.

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Every year the average price of stuff you buy increases by about 5% Catching a cab to Long Street?

Driving to Muizenburg? Spare yourself the shock and expect to part with slightly more dough to get to Spacebar or to that sunny beach than you expected. Cars, Jammies, taxi’s and whatever else goes on wheels need juice to run, and that red liquid ain’t getting any cheaper. The price of petrol, just like dominoes, tends to drag everything down with it.

This means not only will you feel

the pinch when you need to go from point A to B, but also in items which rely a lot on transportation by road like sea food and some fruits and veggies.

Professor Neethling advises us to expect price increases in meat products such as burgers and sausage rolls. This is due to the increases in the prices of maize which is fed to the animals which eventually become part of your meal. The price hikes may take up to 6 months to take their toll on your pocket, so best eat up while it’s still cheap.

If you thought your parents are the only people who have a problem with your drinking then think again!

The annual increases in “sin taxes” specifically dedicated to curbing drinking and smoking, drives up the price of alcohol. This means that you may have to pay more for your favourite bottle of Russian Bear or that box of Stuyvesant. But no worries…you can always join the wine society for free booze.

If you, like Kabelo Tladi, a resident at Kopano, get a constant amount of pocket money throughout the year despite the general increases in prices, then you are being robbed in broad daylight. Every year the average price of the things you buy increases by about 5%, which is called inflation, so if your pocket money remains the same year-onyear then you clearly are getting

Image: flickr.com

cheated off your hard earned (through studying) moola. “The best thing to do is to explain this concept of inflation to your pocket- moneygivers”, explains Kabelo.

You will have to be smart about

your cash this year or you may find yourself slightly poorer than your last year’s self. The best way to have control over your money is to stay informed. Start by knowing things like price increases and having a

simple budget to see where your Rands go. You don’t have to start reading the Financial Mail today, trust VARSITY finance articles to keep you in the loop.

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Coffee makes the world go around What are you actually drinking? And where do you find the best cup? Of course, VARSITY has the answer.

Georgie Lockwood and Lynne Marie Fraser offee plays an essential role in student life. It has always been there, making long hours in the library seem timeless and hangovers that much more bearable. Drinking coffee on campus is a way to mingle, to catch up and to wake up. It is a gesture of ‘thank you’, or to make the non-smoker look cooler just because it’s something to hold.

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Coffee can prevent Parkinson’s disease, type two diabetes, colon cancer and gallstones.

Second to oil, coffee is the most traded commodity in the world.

Filter, instant, frozen, plunger, Cappuccino, Espresso, Americano, decaffeinated - the menu goes on.

But what lies behind the beans?

The winters of Jamaica, Mexico, Brazil and Zimbabwe are the ideal conditions for the two kinds of coffee bean: the familiar and flavourful Arabica and bulky, less common but higher in caffeine - Robusta.

The most expensive coffee in the

world is, well, shit. Coffee Luwak, made in Indonesia, is processed in the digestive system of a Luwak cat and collected at the other end.

One can get a taste of this exclusive brown drink at Haas in Kloof Street, Cape Town.

For other delicious, more affordable, and less cat-digested coffees, visit Cocoa Wah Wah, Yours Truly, Long Street Café or The Office. These are all around Cape Town and luckily, for all the caffeine and coffee culture addicts, the only legal and socially acceptable drug from Columbia.

Coffee is one of the most medically researched crops in the world. A natural diuretic, or in other words: causing you to lose water (usually by urinating), coffee also speeds up one’s metabolism. It prevents Parkinson’s disease, type two diabetes, colon cancer and gallstones. The ‘brown gold’ also forms a healthy digestive, most popular after a large Mediterranean meal – the Europeans got that one right, alright!

On the other hand - caffeine is addictive. It is dehydrating and causes an increase in heart rate. Large amounts of the stuff will disrupt routine sleeping patterns and, if you’re careless with the residue,

Image: Elewani Netshifhire coffee can also increase cholesterol.

Society was wired on caffeine long before the internet. When the standard R16 cappuccino became the price of free Wi-Fi, the result was something electrical: coffee culture!

It is diet, ritual and addiction all poured into one cup. Since the discovery of the coffee bean in Yemen 800 years ago, it has done its rounds quite thoroughly. Parisian coffee houses have seen the French through a revolution and local Vida e Caffé has poured ‘ambition’ into the

This year’s Oscar lowdown

With the awards season drawing to a close, we take a look at the most promising candidates up for a piece of Academy gold Lynne Marie Fraser ince 10 January 2013, the public has known the nominees for the 85th Annual Oscar Awards Ceremony. There are a few interesting nominations on the list this year, but there is seldom room for extreme surprise between the bottoms of the rich and famous who will be seated at the venue on the 24th of February.

Steven Spielberg awaits his 8th Best Picture award for his historical film Lincoln, leading with 12 nominations this year. These include two-time Academy Award winner Daniel Day-Lewis for Best Actor and Best Adapted Screenplay. Spielberg is also up for Best Director for the 8th time, just one more nomination in this category than he has children.

Life of Pi, directed by Ang Lee, is runner up with 11 nominations; one being Best Picture. I applaud its nomination for an Achievement in Visual Effects. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey competes in this category, despite its visuals going on for about two hours too long.

Two actresses prove that age is indeed just a number in this year’s Best Actress category. Nine-yearold superstar Quvenzhané Wallis (pronounced ‘kwuh-vin-juh-nay’) is the youngest ever actress to receive the nomination for her role as the adorable Hushpuppy in the Best Picture nominee Beasts of the Southern Wild. The French film

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Image: Flickr.com

Amour, nominated for Best Picture and Best Foreign Language Film, stars 85 year old Emmanuelle Riva, the oldest ever Best Actress nominee.

Apart from Christoph Waltz’s Supporting Actor nomination for his captivating performance in Tarantino’s Best Picture nominee Django Unchained, the names of the Best Actor and Actress nominees are big ones for anyone who has ever seen a movie: Bradley Cooper for Best Actor and Robert Di Nero for Supporting Role - both in Silver Linings Playbook, a Best Picture nominee itself; Denzel Washington in Flight and Hugh Jackman in the musical Les Miserables. Les Mis, a (totally unsung dialogue-less) musical, is nominated for Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay and Best Original Song with “Suddenly” – up against Adele’s “Skyfall.” I’m

rooting for the latter.

Best Picture nominee Zero Dark Thirty earned Jessica Chastain a Best Actress nomination; Jennifer Lawrence competes for the prize for her role in Silver Linings Playbook.

Argo is a deserving Best Picture and Best Director (Ben Affleck) nominee, with the witty Alan Arkin up for Best Supporting Actor. Anne Hathaway’s astounding performance in Les Mis earned her a Best Supporting Actress nomination, and two-time winner Sally Field is in the same category for her role as the president’s wife in Lincoln.

Searching for Sugarman’s nomination as Best Documentary adds excitement to the ceremony because, as South Africans, we are proud to be the ones who supported Rodriguez when no one else did.

mornings of the fast-paced urban workforce. The Wimpy coffee has kept many truck drivers awake, the George Clooney Nespresso coffee machines have added that soughtafter designer appeal for the rich, and the local Barista has frothed up gossip with his dash of sugar.

Coffee continues to fuel the

demand for good, vibey venues to enjoy the bean. And because of how many different ways we custom order our coffee – cream on the side, two sugars, cinnamon on top – we in our millions will continue to find comfort in each personal cup of this international craze.

Student unchained

With the freedom of moving into digs comes the responsibility of maintaining a household. Luckily, there are some easy ways to keep your head above water.

Shannon Holcroft

you seal it in a zip-lock bag to keep out the air. Defrosting dough by microwave is not recommended, oving into digs for the first so soak it in warm water until time, whether fresh from it has thawed. Like the frozen home or after a few years in res, pizza dough, plenty of freezeris both extremely liberating and friendly recipes are available slightly unnerving. Free to create online to keep starvation at bay. your own routine, the digs life Lasagne, casseroles and soups may sound ideal, but it does not are particularly good options to come without squirrel away for difficulties. The times of need. biggest issues When living Great-aunt Bessie’s faced by new tatty sofa could become in digs for the digs residents: first time, your a focal point in your developing place is not going design scheme meal plans and to resemble a creating trendy spread in ELLE spaces on tight budgets. It may Decoration. However, a collection seem like a tall order at first, but of hand-me-down furniture will consider reading this article as not put an end to your dreams of your first step to conquering the a trendy living area. The hipster challenges. lifestyle has made all things quirky If you were raised in a house a hot commodity. So, who knows, where you were forced to forage great-aunt Bessie’s tatty sofa could for any scraps of edible morsels now go on to become a focal point available, you are probably already in your design scheme. Feel free to resourceful enough to know how experiment your way to something to cook a signature dish or two. truly unique, like not wasting However, if you are accustomed money on matching bedroom sets. to Mom’s three-course Sunday Budget homeware stores like Mr lunches, you will need to learn Price Home allow you to change some kitchen survival skills. the look of your digs frequently Independence isn’t nearly as tasty with affordable accessories. If you when you’re faced with an empty still feel that your space looks fridge. A diet of flavourless MSG- more shabby than chic, antique based foods brings nothing but furniture is an easy way to add a misery – even if it means that touch of sophistication to your you can hit the town one extra headquarters. In the age of night per week.

YouTube and video tutorials, there Stockpiling food is a technique is simply no excuse to settle for that rodents have mastered dreary uninteresting digs décor. that students can use to their So remember: do as the rodents advantage. So, one of the simplest do: be resourceful with décor, ways to never go hungry in a digs: and you’re well on your way to freeze pizza dough in base-sized realising your digs dream. That’s sections. However, make sure that just the start – the rest is up to you.

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Strip away your shades of grey Daniël Geldenhuys ou want to look nice, don’t you? It’s okay to admit. I mean, you don’t want to look bad, right?

Your clothes are the first thing people see (and can thus judge) about you.

And nobody expects the man in a suit and tie with a leather briefcase to pull out a knife and demand your phone, right?

I have had the misfortune of standing at many a lecture theatre door while the contents of said theatre file out and fall into a dangerous state of depression in grey hoodies paired with faded jeans and sneakers.

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On a scale of one to Nicki Minaj, the UCT student body doesn’t have a lot of colour On a scale of one to Nicki Minaj, the UCT student body doesn’t have a lot of colour in their wardrobes.

We’re about a three. I’m not saying you need to dress like Minaj and go all candy explosion (no offence to her – ‘Starships’ is my theme song) but a little colour could only brighten up your life.

Also, black and white do count as colours. An all-black outfit can be very cool if styled correctly and head-to-toe white is super in at the moment. Wear black and white together, and the fashion pack will

Image: Tebesutfu Nkambule nod and smile.

Point being: wearing more colourful clothes (even if that means just a pair of red shoes) will instantly make you look more attractive.

Another extreme example to back up

my statement: you’ll probably look right past someone in a grey shirt and khaki shorts, but a girl in a screaming neon-orange dress will turn heads.

(Please don’t wear a screaming neonorange dress.)

Perhaps the previously mentioned number was a little pessimistic. In summer, campus colour is about a five or six. Seven on a good day. But come winter (and it may not feel like it, but it’s on the horizon) and we’ll plummet

right down to that sad little three. So when you’re buying new clothes for fall, try not buying another pair of jeans.

Instead, a pair of trousers in blue, red, green, purple (pick purple!) or white.

That one item will instantly inject some life into your wardrobe and prevent you from blending into the walls in Leslie Social.

UCT campus style is not that bad (last year I spent two hours at Stellenbosch and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty). The spirited nature of Cape Town culture rubs off on students’ wardrobes, and it’s great to see. This bland sense of colour consciousness when getting dressed is not unique to our campus (or country) but it is something I’m confident we Ikeys can oust.

We have one of the world’s most beautiful university campuses. By saying no to grey, denim, khaki, beige, light brown (don’t throw out – just keep to a minimum) we can definitely go up a few notches in visual mojo.

Usually a fashion article ends off with something along the lines of: now wear what this article tells you and don’t forget the most important ingredients, which are attitude and confidence. But here I say, if you wear colour, you really won’t need much attitude. Your clothes will do all the work for you. Try it and see how many compliments you get (the brighter the colour better the chance of a “I like your…”). After all, no one ever said green eggs and ham looked bad.

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Red Hot performance in the Mother City Ryno Nortje Is this a song we recorded ten years ago? Hell no! Is this a song we recorded twenty years ago? Fuck no! We recorded this song about thirty years ago!” Michael ‘Flea’ Balzary declared to a crowd of about 45 000 people in Cape Town Stadium last Tuesday night. This warranted a reality check for me, hardly finding a head, be it balding with age or belonging to a 12 year old, that wasn’t rocking to the divine sound of decade-old hit “Hollywood”, performed live by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

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Smith was like Thor in disguise as his drums sent thunder cracking through the sea of thousands Twenty nine years after Anthony Keidis, Flea, Hillel Slovak and Jack Irons squeezed their creative juices into their first album, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, South Africa has finally been passed a glass of that sweet nectar.

Promoting their tenth album,

Image: flicker.com

I’m With You, a slightly different outfit took to the stage on this world tour. Original members Keidis and Flea remained alongside long-time drummer Chad Smith. New guitarist Josh Klinghoffer joined the band as a part of their latest album two years before the band’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in April last year.

Nearly every person in the stadium was on their feet all night as the 7-time Grammy Awardwinning, 80 million record-selling funk rock group demanded the crowd’s undivided and enthusiastic attention.

The roar of the audience was unrelenting beneath the melodies of a set astonishingly crammed

with hits such as “Can’t Stop”, “The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie” and “Scar Tissue”. A trademark passionate performance by Keidis might have convinced viewers they were listening to the recorded album through their own headphones, as every note rang out true and clear. It seemed Flea couldn’t miss a beat on the bass even if he had found himself

in a straight jacket. Smith was like Thor in disguise as his drums sent thunder cracking through the sea of thousands and guitarist Klinghoffer seemed a natural part of the group, despite having been in preschool when their first album was recorded.

A heart-wrenching “Olé” echoed through the stadium, spurred on by the wonder and elation on Smith’s face as he rhythmically led the crowd with his drumming. A scene synonymous with the volume and pride of sporting events unfolded as each individual voice united in a salute to the musical legends.

After a phenomenal encore performance, I remember trying to etch every sensation I was experiencing onto my mind, realising I might never see these guys perform live again. The band dispersed with only Flea and Smith remaining on stage. Flea, one of the most passionate musicians my ears have had the privilege to hear, delivered a remarkably heartfelt speech before vacating the stage, imploring us all to “Support local musicians, support the musicians on the street!” Smith, throwing his drumsticks into the crowd, left us all to revel in the fact that we had just witnessed one of the best rock groups in history.

What brings you to these shores?

VARSITY asked UCT’s international students what draws them to the Mother City Barbara Fourie f I were looking for any reason to feel patriotic about UCT or Cape Town this year, the international students gave me reason enough.

Interviewing them in-line to register at the International Academic Programmes Office (IAPO), I asked them the question many of us South Africans are curious about: “Why Cape Town, and why UCT?” Before knowing why they are attracted to Cape Town, it is more important to know what role the IAPO plays in making it possible for international students to complete their academia at UCT. In broad terms; with approximately 4400 students coming through the doors, IAPO promotes internationalisation.

According to UCT statistics, 4892 international undergrad and postgraduate students registered for the academic year in 2012. IAPO provides services such as assisting the international students with general inquiries, advice for living arrangements and applications for a study permit.

Asking these students “Why Cape Town?”, I mostly expected to hear that students were attracted to the aesthetics of the Mother City. Its beauty is one of the major tourist attractions. Instead of getting the generic reply, their answers made me appreciate the opportunity I have to be a student at UCT and to live in the Mother City.

“Firstly, my friend was here and

I

Image: Tebesutfu Nkambule she loved the weather and the ocean in Cape Town, but I also came here for the film course.” Yoomin Lee, Korea, Film.

“The Universities in Kenya aren’t that good to study architecture and UCT is the best university in Africa, so to learn architecture here would give me a bigger advantage.” Rishil Khurmi, Kenya, Architecture.

“I am originally from India and currently live in Zimbabwe, I

am going to study at the Graduate School of Business and chose UCT because I couldn’t find a better GSB school in my entire region and I heard that UCT is one of the best universities in Africa and which also has a world ranking.” Gaori Jain, Zimbabwe, Graduate School of Business.

“I also came here because I really like the beach and the mountains.”

Trisha Mootoosawmy, Mauritius,

Languages.

“I have been living in Cape Town for four years, originally I came here to study at UCT and I think for me it is about the fact that UCT is one of the top ranked Universities in the World and it’s a beautiful city.”

Biruk Gebreteek, Ethiopia, Social Development.

“The environment played a big role, being here is very different for me, I wanted to experience

different cultures and different people rather than go to Joburg.”

Anonymous, Zimbabwe, Business Administration.

“UCT is the best university in Africa for me, excellent education, excellent lecturers, maybe even the best internationally.” Clifford Ncube, Zimbabwe, Law. After reading these answers rather ask yourselves: “Why not Cape Town?”

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End of the Line for Armstrong?

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SPORTS BITES ‘Liking’ your way to Wembley One devoted soccer fan has used Facebook as a way of convincing his wife to allow him to watch a game. If David Bowers receives one million likes for a photo he has posted on facebook, his wife will allow him to travel to Wembley to support his beloved Bradford City. They play in the Capital One Cup final against Swansea, and while the likes have been flooding in, by our count he still has 540 000 to go.

- News.com.au

Doggystyle at Parkhead

Image: George Burns

Bruce Hughes

UCT Cycling Club Chairman It has been a long time since I last switched off the television feeling so utterly disappointed as I did after Oprah’s interview with Lance Armstrong. After I heard his affirmative answer to her very first question, “Did you ever use performance-enhancing drugs?” and some closure had been reached on much speculation, the rest of the interview free-wheeled rapidly downhill.

Armstrong is as selfserving as he ever was and there is still much to be uncovered It became clear that the interview was not an all out confession about his involvement in propagating and

sustaining doping practices in the elite peloton, nor was it an apology to his loyal supporters, friends, team-mates and sponsors whose trust he had violated.

No, it seemed increasingly to be a pre-scripted and approved marketing stunt. Armstrong rode the coat-tails of Oprah’s mass appeal to achieve a fine balance between attempting to earn sympathy from his fans, while avoiding the legal problems that a full confession might entail.

Certainly, it seemed that the legend of ‘Lance the exposed liar’ would not end with this interview.

Armstrong is in the process of being sued by, amongst others, the United States’ Department of Justice. A consequence of this is that some pertinent questions about his past were deliberately avoided. Others were answered with half truths in order to avoid digging himself deeper into the financial hole he finds himself.

He denied offering a $200 000 donation to USADA which would have been a conflict of interest, even though both current and past CEOs of the organisation testified that he had made the offer. What is more, he denied that he had pressured his own team mates into doping although the sworn testimony of more than one of his former team-mates states otherwise.

Finally, Armstrong vehemently claimed that he had not doped since his last Tour de France victory in 2005. On the back of blood data made available, USADA CEO Travis Tygart suggested, “that there is a one-in-a-million chance that he had not doped during his comeback tours.”

The blog reading I have done lately suggests that I am not alone in my convictions. The general opinion in cycling circles is that with this semi-polished marketing gimmick, Armstrong left the interview

smelling more of an ageing compost heap than a bouquet of roses.

I say ‘semi-polished’ because he did not help his own cause in showing all the emotion of a plastic bag, failing to recall in all the legal cases he had brought against his detractors that he had sued.

So what now for Armstrong? If the interview taught us anything, it is that Armstrong is as self-serving as he ever was and there is still much to be uncovered. If ever he truly wants the public to accept his apologies, I suggest he stand before the proposed truth and reconciliation commission and accept that the only way he will ever be able to compete again is not by attempting to dodge the statute of limitations, but by telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Join the debate on our website www.varsitynewspaper.co.za/sport.

Find out what Saadiq Samodien thinks of Armstrong in his article “A Monster Is Born.”

It’s Not About the Bike Anurag Arnab I first read Lance Armstrong’s autobiography when I was in Grade 5, and even though I was not interested in cycling or knew anyone suffering from cancer, I was inspired by the man who was then the god of cycling. What seemed even more inspiring was how he dismissed the widespread accusations of him doping as actions of cynics who refused to believe that any cyclist (let alone a cancer survivor) could be so dominant.

Despite his revelations, the investigations into his career enforce the idea that he was no different to the rest of the peloton. Many of his peers doped in the same way that footballers dive or batsmen choose not to walk. Armstrong has become the punching bag for public outcry

against doping, and he does not deserve all of it. Even the riders who testified against Armstrong received amnesty. They got off the hook, so that Armstrong, the bigger fish, could get caught.

He didn’t have to try hard to conceal it because there was no test for EPO during his first few tours Armstrong admitted to using Erythropoietin (EPO) to boost his performance. He didn’t have to try hard to conceal it because there was no test for EPO during his first few tours. He also took part in “blood doping”. However, injections of blood can only be detected within six hours and many stages of the Tour de France are longer than that.

The Union Cycliste International

(UCI) officials could have caught him (and many others) if they tested him during the off-season or if they didn’t make appointments to do drug tests.

The US Anti-Doping Agency’s (USADA) report, which ultimately sealed Armstrong’s fate, described his team’s doping program as “more extensive than any previously revealed in professional sports history.” But did Armstrong actually have to try that hard? UCI officials were probably so lenient because they knew that there would be no peloton if all dopers were banned.

In 2006, Spanish police found packets of blood belonging to fiftysix cyclists (including Armstrong’s fiercest rival, Jan Ulrich) whom Spanish Sports Doctor Eufemiano Fuentes helped to blood dope. But since doping was not illegal in Spain at the time, there were no convictions.

A few of the riders were dropped by

their teams due to the bad publicity this brought, but only five of them were banned despite there being hard evidence on fifty-one others. Dr Fuentes is currently on trial, but he is charged with endangering the health of cyclists, not cheating. He could face a professional ban of only two years if found guilty. Armstrong’s “physician”, on the other hand, was slapped with a lifetime sports ban by the USADA. Armstrong doped, but so did most of his rivals – the playing field was level. As the most celebrated cyclist of his era, he was the only one to have a two-year investigation to uncover his doping practises.

Investigations on his rivals would uncover similar skeletons.

Although scandals like these are necessary to clean up the sport, Armstrong was a product of his times and a martyr of his own success.

Known more for his fat beats, Snoop Dog surprised officials at Celtic FC by asking to be a mascot for tonight’s Champions League tie against Juventus.

Snoop has apparently been a big fan of the Scottish side since 2005, and when asked about his chances he said, “I need tickets but I want to walk out with the team like a little kid with the banner… Yabbadabbado.”

- metro.co.uk

Pregnancy ban In this era of doping, lifetime bans are not all that uncommon, but in the lesser known sport of windsurfing the Portuguese Olympic Committee has recently handed out a lifetime ban. Bizzarely, Carolina Borges has been banned for concealing her pregnancy so she could compete in the London Games.

Borges actually failed to turn up to England, sighting illness. It was probably for the best.

- Foxsports.com.au

Pensioner arrested for throwing Banana at referee This was not a racially motivated incident, just an odd choice of weapon. That’s what made the arrest of this English 74 year-old AFC Wimbledon fan so amusing. The incident caused some confusion as referee Graham Scott laughed and picked up the fruit. It was presumed that the Pensioner was angry at a decision made by the referee, or his aim at an opposition player was just slightly off.

- metro.co.uk

Hat-trick hero Most cricketers would be ecstatic at the thought of getting a hattrick, let alone bowling two in two days. But that’s exactly what Brisbane recruitment consultant and second-grade paceman Rhys Yorke did. He achieved the remarkable feet over two games in one weekend. To give you an idea of how rare the achievement is, only three players have taken two hat-tricks in the 2 072 Tests dating back to 1877.

-Foxsports.com.au

Rob Byrne

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SPORTS SHORTS Rob Byrne

Roundup of 2013 USSA Overall Trophy and 420s categorey.

Yacht Club Commodore Thomas Van De Ploeg hailed a great overall “team effort” that saw the UCT B-side also pick up second place in each of the categories. This placed them ahead of the ‘A’ boats of Stellenbosch, Witwatersrand and Rhodes. The contest for the overall trophy was a highly tactical affair, with three two-man boats per team competing for a place in the winning combinations. On the back of this success at Theewaterskloof, Van de Ploeg says he is looking forward to the Hermanus Grand Slam on February 16th.

Waterpolo

he USSA Championships were very successful for UCT in the pool, no more so than for the all-conquering Men’s Waterpolo first team that defeated their rivals Stellenbosch 10-3 in the final of the tournament on December 5th 2012.

The team smashed their way to the final, obliterating the University of the Free State, Stellenbosch seconds, UJ and Varsity College on the way.

UCT’s second string also put in a great performance, finishing fifth out of ten teams. After a strong win by the women’s team over UJ, Wits and NMMU, it was heartache in the final where a tight game saw them lose out 4-3 to their old rival Stellenbosch.

UCT was rewarded with 13 players being selected from the club to represent the SA Student’s side. Nick Hock’s full report is available on our the VARSITY website.

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Tennis

Swimming

It was the Ayrton Sweeney and Dominique Dryding show as UCT Swimming Club competed in the 2012 USSA National Institutional Aquatics Championships from 3rd to 5th December 2012. A total of 12 medals and three records were accumulated as UCT Swimming Team finished in fifth place overall out of the twelve Universities competing.

Sweeney grabbed four golds and

Image: Marc Neto three new records in the 200m Freestyle, 200m Individual Medley and 1 500m Freestyle, respectively.

Dryding may not have picked up a gold, but she was consistently in the medal places, picking up three silver and two bronze medals. The Women’s 4x100 team also showed a strong performance as they gained a bronze in the relay event. When

combined with the endeavours of the Waterpolo players, UCT can be very pleased with an overall second place in the 2012 USSA tournament.

Yacht

The UCT Yacht club hosted the annual USSA tournament this year at Theewaterskloof Dam and left with top honours in both the Pike

UCT Tennis club put up a strong performance at the University of Pretoria, finishing in fifth place out of a total 20 Universities. The tournament started well with an 8-0 demolition of Rhodes University, but the Ikeys were quickly brought back down to earth with an 8-1 loss at the hands of Stellenbosch. Victories against KZN and Wits ensured a 5/6th play-off against UJ of biblical proportions. With the scores tied at 7-7 after the singles, doubles and mixed events, the two sides were forced to count back. Firstly, the number of sets won, which turned out to be equal, and then the number of games, which were amazingly also equal. With a tie-breaker needed to separate the two sides, UCT’s top performers Krysia Gaweda (with

eight victories in the tournament) and Richard Mellon (five victories) battled UJ’s finest to seal an 11-9 victory.

Football

UCT football’s top men and women’s sides battled hard in a tough USSA National Club Championship hosted by UWC. After disappointing group stage performances against some stiff opposition, the men’s side bounced back with three excellent wins, including an eye-catching 4-1 win over TUT (Polokwane) and an exciting 9-8 win over the University of Free State which was decided by sudden death penalties.

UCT’s top performers included Wisy Namaseb (top scorer) and Lukas Metzmacher (most assists).

UCT player of the tournament, goalkeeper Bevan Adonis was rewarded for his consistent performances with a place at Tuks, who proved to be the best university football side in the country. The women’s team also experienced some tough competition in the group stages, but after losing out on penalties against the University of Fort Hare, they ended on a high with a convincing win against TUT (Witbank).

With contributions from Nick Hock, Julia Cassar and Daron Golden.

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Test Cricket Anyone?

Alasdair Fraser The world’s number-one ranked Test cricket team rolls into Cape Town for the second Sunfoil Test against Pakistan at Sahara Park Newlands, starting on Valentine’s Day. For all those foreign students who escaped the colonial clutches of the British Empire, therefore missing out on cricket, afternoon tea and cucumber sandwiches, this is no time for romance and red roses – just raw aggression for five days. This is what Test match cricket is all about.

The only red you’ll see is that leather ball being hurtled through the air at speeds of up to 150 km/h. Five days of it – unless Pakistan succumb to arguably South Africa’s greatest fast bowler of all time, Dale Steyn.

There are those that find Test cricket “a bore” and often chortle with sarcasm when they discover that even after both teams have slugged it out for five days, a draw is possible.

It is the purest form of the game, with both players and pundits labelling it as the most prestigious format of cricket.

Both teams play in the same colours – the traditional white. The ball is almost the same as it was a century ago and the rules haven’t changed much either.

There’s a reason why they call it a ‘Test’: it is an examination of stamina, strength and mental toughness from each team-mate while both teams deal with the elements of nature for five days – which can dramatically alter playing conditions and player performance.

Image: Paul Gallo With what other sport can you read a book while intently following the action? Or be able to have a nice snooze, catch a suntan and still wake

up just in time for the new ball to be taken (for those who are confused, a new ball is offered after the previous new ball has had its 80 overs – this

often brings a flurry of wickets)?

Still confused?

Find an encyclopaedia and read all about it in our well-stocked and splendid world-class library. Or just log onto Wikipedia.

Yes folks, the Proteas are in town, and for just 60 Randelas, you can see them ‘live’ in the flesh showing exactly why they are the best Test team in the world.

Why pay over a R100 to watch a T20 match (we’re not that good in this newer format of the game and you only get to watch 40 overs) when you can watch Hashim Amla (World No.1 Ranked Batsman), Dale Steyn (World No.1 Bowler) and Jacques Kallis (World No.1 All-Rounder) play 90 overs of what they do best.

Do yourselves a favour, buy a ticket and be part of something great. Who knows, you might even fall in love.

Rob Byrne previews the Newlands Test in full on www.varsitynewspaper.co.za/sport

UCT show strength in PE White line fever The Good in Sport U Sean Culinan and Staff Writer

CT performed admirably in this year’s USSA ‘A’ cricket tournament in a predictably windy Port Elizabeth. Placed in a tough pool, including hosts NMMU and defending champions Stellenbosch, UCT’s finest cricketers finished in a respectable fourth place out of eight teams.

Day one saw UCT take on NMMU, themselves former champions in an event on their home soil. Winning the toss and electing to bat first, UCT posted a commanding 232/7 in 50 overs, largely thanks to a 101 run opening partnership between Adeeb Joseph (43) and Michael Pote (56). Wayne Lombard also chipped in with a powerful 68, including four huge sixes. Despite some good work from the opening bowlers, some illdisciplined bowling in the final overs saw the team suffer an agonising loss off the second-to-last ball of the game.

while an impressive 81 runs were added in the last ten overs by Graeme Beghin (21 off 10 balls) and Keulder (28 off 23). UCT’s opening bowlers started well, restricting UJ to 33/3 in the first ten overs, and the fine work continued with the ball as UJ collapsed to 121 all out, 100 short of victory. Bell finished with 4/23, ably supported by Dods (2/30) and Golding (2/10).

Riding high on their success, UCT then faced local rivals and Western Province League champions, UWC, in the semifinal. UWC posted an impressive 240/9 after some wayward bowling

by UCT in the latter stages. Bell, however, returned with excellent figures of 4/37. In reply, openers Adeeb Joseph (26) and Michael Pote (32) took the attack to UWC’s,

reaching 51/0 in ten overs. A mix-up led to captain Joseph being run-out, and a collapse then followed, leaving UCT’s lower order with a tough task; managing only 153 all out, 87 short of UWC’s total.

Following the loss to UWC, day five saw UCT face TUKS in the third and fourth play-off. Beating the former multiple champions proved to be a tough ask, as they bowled UCT out for 72, with only Golding (23) showing resistance with the bat.

Along with the fourth place finish, UCT had a lot of positives to take home. Opening batsman Michael Pote was selected for the SA Universities Team and bowler Wesley Bell, UCT’s player of the tournament, finished amongst the top wicket-takers over the five games.

Wesley Bell, UCT’s player of the tournament, finished amongst the top wicket-takers On day two, UCT faced local rivals Stellenbosch. Batting first, UCT were all-out for 172, made possible thanks to Michael Pote (51) and Dewald Keulder (40).

Defending a low total, the UCT bowlers restricted Stellenbosch to 46/5 in 15 overs, with Keulder and Dods picking up two wickets apiece.

However, Stellenbosch recovered in the middle overs and by the final over needed just six runs to win with one wicket in hand. Dewald Keulder stepped up to the plate, conceding just four runs and taking the final wicket to hand UCT their first victory, completing a fine individual performance with figures of 4/41.

An effective quarter-final against UJ then took place on day three.

UCT’s batsman started off cautiously on a difficult pitch, finishing on 220/6. Seb Golding anchored the innings with an outstanding 53,

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t was an enduring image, and one that has stayed with me for a long time. Andrew Flintoff crouched, consoling his adversary and fellow cricketing heavyweight, Brett Lee. The year was 2005 and a heady one for any English cricket fan.

On the final day of the Edgbaston Test, Lee had battled to 43 and with a mere three runs left to chase down, it seemed for all the world the Australians were going to win the Test. But when his batting partner Michael Kasprowicz gloved a Steve Harmison delivery to the wicket keeper, it was all over.

England had won.

What happened next was remarkable.

Flintoff, himself man of the match, chose not to celebrate with his teammates.

Rather, he recognised the herculean efforts of Lee, now hunched down in disbelief. He was a kindred spirit, an adversary who left everything on the field. In a moment of supreme ecstasy he showed compassion and allegedly muttered a few words along the lines of “bad luck mate…I’ll see you inside for a beer.” Hardly poetic, but the gesture was still a grandiose one.

You may ask why I am so concerned with something that happened some seven-and-a-half years ago. At that specific moment, I, and a lot of people, held Andrew Flintoff up as a talisman, a modern day Ian Botham of English cricket.

A talented player no doubt, but following an unsuccessful stint as captain, unfounded criticism of Michael Atherton, and even an attempted boxing career, his reputation has been eroded.

I even saw Freddie boozed up in a nightclub once and wanted to tell him how disappointed I was in him (beer is a recurring theme).

In the interests of my own safety it was probably for the best that I didn’t. He is a big man after all.

19

Rob Byrne Sports Editor

I

The point is this: Despite whatever flaws Flintoff has, he got one thing right. He was able to show compassion, he was able to recognise that his greatest enemy in a fiercely contested series was not at all that different to him.

I write this article at a time when the sporting world has been turned upside down. The Armstrong saga and now the Australian investigation into doping have sparked a common theme in many editorials, calling into question “winning at all costs.”

It seems that in the heat of the battle many sportsmen, whether through a desire to be the best, or to falsely influence referees or umpires, have forgotten that they are cheating not only themselves, but their worthy adversaries too.

And if they’re not worthy, let them face the consequences, not you.

Call me sentimental, but the image of Lee and Flintoff reminds me of everything good about sport. Here at UCT, where sport is intertwined in the fabric of the institution, we must remember that fair play and a sporting gesture can go a long way.

We have our own intense rivalry to be played out on the Green Mile on March 4th, and let’s not forget to treat our adversaries with the respect they deserve.

The fiercest competition has even been known to spark friendship. Just ask Brett Lee. He has the iconic photo hanging up in his house, with a message from Flintoff reading, “Any danger of you getting out? Well batted. Looking forward to the next battle.”

You can follow Rob on twitter @ByrnseyGsy.

Sport

FIXTURES

VARSITY

Varsity Cup Rugby

WP Cricket Association Division 1A

Monday, February 18th, 7pm

Saturday, February 16th

the green mile

St Stephnes Road

Ikeys Vs UJ

Pinelands CC Vs UCT 1st XI

Early season challenge for Ikeys Megan Kinnaird Last Monday saw the return of the Varsity Cup to the Green Mile, with the Ikey Tigers playing out a 5 – 5 draw with NMMU in their opening match of the 2013 season.

Both the team and Ikey fans were in typically high spirits, but the side failed to capitalise on a territorial and possession advantage. Kenyan centre David Ambunya provided the Ikeys’ only try late in the first half, but both teams failed to convert when the tries were scored.

The first half saw the Ikey Tigers playing against a strong wind, which hindered the kicking on the night, with Ikeys fly-half Ross JonesDavis missing a conversion and penalty kick.

UCT could nevertheless take positives from the tie - their scrum was superior to that of NMMU, and in the second half they showed discipline in the line-out, successfully intercepting three NMMU lineouts. While the team is sure to be disappointed at not winning their crucial first match, their hunger to win was not found to be lacking as they dominated the closing stages of the tie.

Last night saw the Ikeys face reigning champions UP-Tuks in their first away game of the season.

When the two sides last met, UPTuks had a spectacular turnaround in the second half which eventually led to an 18 – 29 defeat for the Tigers.

For a full match report on last night’s match visit www.varsitynewspaper.co.za/sport

Image: Elelwani Netshifhire LOCKING HORNS - The Ikeys and Madibaz clashed on the Green Mile last Monday.

SRC Kicks off 2013 Sporting Year Rob Byrne & Megan Kinnaird he SRC’s Sports Tournament and Showcase, held on February 5th and 6th, looked to demonstrate UCT sport at its best. Football, netball and Ultimate games took place in the Sports Centre whilst touch rugby graced the Green Mile. All-in-all, the 2013 event can be considered a success, with many students showing up to have some fun, let off some steam, and most of all, illustrate best why sport is such an important facet of student life at UCT. Of the four sports on showcase during the tournament, it’s no surprise that the indoor football pitch attracted the biggest turnout.

Julia Cassar, of UCT Football, was on hand to organise the running of the football competition and she was

T

impressed with the interest in the event, with 22 teams competing over the two days.

The event has become a welcome addition for sports clubs looking to attract new talent, and football is no exception. “The event is important for subscriptions, especially from freshers. Hopefully they will start in first year and stick with us for their entire University career,” she said.

“University life is not just about getting the credits, sport is a part of it too,” she added.

Surprisingly, given its popularity at UCT, the turnout for touch rugby was poor, leading to problems in the coordination of both the teams and the games themselves. With many freshers no doubt feeling the aftereffects of the previous evening Ikeys “vibe”, things were slow to kick off on the Green Mile.

As a result, the tournament suffered

from a delayed start of an hour on the first day. With the exception of the touch rugby and Ultimate, the other sports quickly recovered from the slow start and were soon running smoothly.

Many of UCT’s residences have pushed for freshers to get involved in UCT sport as part of a well-rounded University life.

“...best thing about the tournament is it’s free, and it’s a pretty good incentive to get involved in UCT sport” Annicka, a first-year playing in Graca Machel’s Ultimate team, said that being part of a sports team led to a completely different kind of student experience. Other than the expected first-year partying, playing sport was important as “it makes you

feel part of something.”

The tournament was not only about attracting the newcomers to UCT. Todd Peterson, a postgraduate law student, was playing as part of an iKhaya football team. He first heard about the tournament during O-Week and was keen to be involved. “Probably the best thing about the tournament is it’s free, and it’s a pretty good incentive to get involved in UCT sport,” he said.

Timothy Taylor, a Committee member of UCT Ultimate was involved in the organising of the sports tournament, which attracted 12 teams and many newcomers to the increasingly popular game.

Despite a slow start, he was enthusiastic about the role the tournament had in attracting new talent, and was already eagerly eyeing up those in action. “We recruited three guys from last year’s

event and they are in the first team and the committee now,” he said.

Darren Brookbanks, SRC Sports Coordinator, organised the event in conjunction with the Student Sports Union and Residence Sports Council.

Speaking about the importance of joining a sports team, he said, “Sport brings people together, teaches one to efficiently and effectively work together, how to lead and follow, and ultimately, how to find a balance in one’s day to day routine.”

While the tournament had a few speed bumps with regards to participation and timing, the idea behind it is definitely a worthy one. There is no doubt that UCT sport will continue to benefit from the running of this SRC initiative, driving student interest in sport and providing a useful platform for newcomers to get involved.