2013: Edition 4 by VARSITY

Varsity

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1942

THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CAPE TOWN

2 April 2013

VOLUME 72: EDITION 4

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Will you arrive safely on campus today? Krysia Gaweda

housands of UCT students rely on the Jammie Shuttle transport system to take them to and from various UCT campuses every day, thus making the UCT transport system an integral component of university life. UCT has outsourced their transport system to Sibanye, whose role is to provide safe and efficient transport to UCT students and staff. “UCT’s contract with Sibanye makes provision for ensuring that the used vehicles are safe for students and that the drivers are competent […]. It ensures that complaints about Jammie Shuttle drivers will be dealt with,” ensured John Critien, UCT Executive Director of Properties & Services.

Jammie drivers using their cell phones while driving

Image: Rhiannon Rees RESPONSIBILITY: Jammie drivers have been caught violating their contracts; should these drivers be trusted with the lives of students? retaliate to their testimony outside the hearing. “The behaviour of that Jammie driver was unsafe and illegal and I am only attending this hearing to make sure he does not get away with it,” Irving explained. Despite their on-going queries into the matter, the date of the hearing was postponed three times. “It was at this point that we realised the absolute incompetence and shocking ability of the Sibanye management to not only discipline their drivers, but to create an atmosphere of responsibility and accountability,” continued Irving. The second incident occurred on March 11th, when Irving produced photographic evidence of another Jammie driver using their cellphone while driving. Irving felt that it would be

“despicable” if this case and other related cases were not handled appropriately. Once again, Irving’s complaint was met with great concern and was assured that the situation would be addressed further. The hearing took place on March 19th, just over a month after the original complaint. “Throughout the process, we were further shocked by Sibanye’s appalling management as it was nothing short of a laid-back disciplinary process,” Irving and Rawson said. Antoine Smith, the Director of Sibanye stated, “Each Sibanye employee has a contract of employment, which incorporates the UCT Code of Conduct directly into their employment contract itself.” “This approach regards the

purpose of discipline as a means for employees to know and understand what standards are required of them. Efforts are made to correct employees' behaviour through a system of graduated disciplinary measures such as counseling and warnings.” Critien confirmed this, stating, “As the employer of the drivers, Sibanye is responsible for dealing with complaints about their behaviour.” “UCT urges staff and students to report any instances of unsafe behaviour to UCT, and we will follow it up,” continued Critien. “The SRC's involvement pertaining to Jammie Shuttle Services is to ensure that students are taken to their destinations safely and efficiently by holding Jammie Shuttle management accountable,”

said Lwazi Somya, SRC Services & Labour Coordinator. Despite the SRC’s concerns, Sibanye refused any member of the SRC to sit in on the disciplinary hearing, wanting to ensure that the due process was followed. Smith continued to say that the safety of the drivers and passengers are of extreme importance to Sibanye and, as a company, they strive to maintain a standard of excellence in this regard. Despite Sibayne’s concern of student safety and addressing Jammie complaints, Irving and Rawson felt that the “management of [the] hearing and of the entire Sibanye business [was] shocking, disgusting and shows utter incapability”. “What is even more shocking is that no systems [...] have been put in place to ensure that drivers are not on their cellphones,” concluded Irving.

IN THIS ISSUE

However, Jammie drivers have nevertheless been caught violating their contracts, which raises an alarming question – how safe are students and staff while travelling on Jammies? Earlier this year, second year students, Lucie Irving and Kathryn Rawson, both caught Jammie drivers using their cell phones while driving on two separate occasions. Irving and Rawson reported the first incident to the Sibanye bus service stating that it was “illegal and unprofessional and puts the students’ lives at risk and other drivers on the road”. Irving and Rawson’s complaints were heard, and were assured that the driver would be disciplined accordingly. However, the bus driver denied all allegations. This resulted in a hearing where all witnesses had to be present and testify; otherwise all allegations would be dropped. Irving and Rawson agreed to this request with caution as they had personal concerns regarding their safety, fearing that the driver may

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news

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

NEWS BITES Madiba back in hospital JOHANNESSBURG – Nelson Mandela was re-admitted into an undisclosed hospital last Wednesday night. The former president was hospitalised due to a recurrence of his lung infection. Current president, Jacob Zuma, ensures that “he [Mandela] has the best possible expert medical treatment and comfort”. - BBC news

North Korea breaks ties SEOUL – Last Wednesday, North Korea disconnected its military hotline with South Korea, breaking the last direct communication link between the two countries. War between the countries may break out at any moment and therefore, there seems to be little reason to keep up the North-South military communications. - News24

New 5FM DJs JOHANNESSBURG – Three new DJs will join 5FM radio station on April 1st. DJs include Stephanie B hosting the 10pm to 1am show on Mondays through Thursdays, Ms Cosmo hosting Sunday nights from 10pm to 1am and Justin Toerien hosting the early morning weekend show from 1am to 4am. - News24

Burglar pretends to have sex CAPE TOWN – Last Friday, an unidentified man broke into a shack unaware that the homeowner would be returning shortly. When the owner returned, the suspected thief tried to evade capture by pretending to be having sex. The thief is now in the custody of the police. - IOL news

World Autism Awareness Day WORLD - Today, April 2nd, marks the sixth annual World Autism Awareness Day. Annually, autism organisations throughout the world celebrate the day by creating awareness and help raise funds for those in need. -www.autismspeaks.org

African leaders will meet Obama WASHINGTON – On April 4th American President Barack Obama will meet with four leaders from the Sub-Saharan African nations. The meeting is to discuss the need to develop democratic institutions in Africa, a continent that has been scarred by poverty and unrest. - News24

Krysia Gaweda

Cyprus bail-out deal sets dangerous precedent Stefanie Busch

Cypriot banks were closed for 12 days and only reopening on Thursday, March 28th. The daily withdrawal limit has been

fter a week of uncertainty about Cyprus’ future in the euro zone, a €10bn bail-out deal was sealed on Monday, March 25th, between Cyprus’ President Nicos Anastasiades, and the heads of the European Union (EU), the European Central Bank (ECB) and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) in order to rescue Cyprus from bankruptcy. Anastasiades said the deal, calling for significant restructuring of the country’s banking sector, was in “the best interests of the Cyprus people and the EU as a whole”. The original proposal that had been offered to the Cypriot government on March 16th included a once-off levy of up to 10% on all bank accounts, meaning that even ordinary savers would be undergoing a major loss. This deal was rejected by the Cypriot parliament, due to its unpopularity with the Cypriot public. After this rejection, negotiations followed due to ECB’s threat of withholding emergency funding to keep Cypriot banks afloat unless Cyprus came up with another way to raise the €5.8bn needed to qualify for the €10bn bail-out on offer from the IMF. Cyprus’ failure to raise these funds would result in the bankruptcy of the government and its possible exit from the euro zone. The new bailout deal stipulates that Cyprus’ second largest bank, Popular Bank of Cyprus (also known

failure to raise funds would result in the bankruptcy of the Cypriot government

Image: Flickr.com

ECONOMIC PATCH: Cyprus’ President, Nicos Anastasiade, hopes a €10bn bail-out deal will secure Cyprus’ future in the euro zone. as Laiki), will be wound up and split into a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ bank. The ‘good’ bank is to be created by shifting deposits below €100 000 to the Bank of Cyprus. Deposits above €100 000 in both banks will be frozen and are at risk of being raided in order for Cyprus to raise the €5.8bn needed. This is because, when countries

receive international funding, they are expected to raise some funds themselves, in order to reduce the size of the new debt the country takes on when accepting the bailout. Cypriot Finance Minister Michalis Sarris said, “It’s not that we won a battle, but [that] we really have avoided a disastrous exit from the euro zone.”

set at €300 for the time being. Other capital controls have also been implemented. The deal has allegedly set dangerous precedents for the euro zone’s future, whereby investor confidence relating to the future of the EU, and political relations among the 17 European countries part of the euro group, have been affected. The forced losses on bank deposits are expected to have a dramatic effect on Cyprus’ reputation as an offshore tax haven. With extremely high interest rates and low corporate tax rates, it is alleged that about a third of all Cyprus bank deposits are of Russian origin. Anastasiades accused members of the euro zone of making “unprecedented demands that forced Cyprus to become an experiment”, as until now the EU had never involved bank depositors and senior bondholders to rescue the bloc’s economic crisis. “We now have a new type of rule and everyone in the euro zone has to sit down and see what that implies for their own finances,” said Nobel laureate Christopher Pissarides, an advisor of the Cypriot government.

Hands up for the Student Crisis Fund Ruva Samkange & Vikash Gajjar UCT students rejoiced the beginning of the midsemester vacation at the Student Representative Council’s (SRC) event, Rock the Mile, held on the Green Mile on March 21st. The afternoon included performances from well-known artists such as Locnville, Deader than Disco, UCT’s Jimmy Nevis and international legends, Basshunter. The event was part of the SRC’s campaign to raise money for the Student Crisis Fund, which aids financially-desperate UCT students in need of basic necessities. Financially-unstable students are able to apply for help from the SRC, who will then direct applicants to other available funds such as those supplied by the Law and the Health Students’ Councils, and to funds made available by the Department

Irrespective of the poor turnout, performances didn’t disappoint. of Home Affairs. The SRC fund will be used as a final supportive net for students in need. No money from the Crisis Fund will be distributed to students;

Image: Tarryn Naude WE’RE JAMMIN’: UCT students enjoyed a range of musicians while raising funds for Student Crisis Fund at the SRC Rock the Mile event. instead, vouchers to shop at Pick ‘n Pay or Spar will be handed out. The event appeared to be promising and a large crowd was expected, however the crowd was rather lacklustre. “The turnout was rather disappointing […]. The poster was not eye-catching […]; I didn’t bother to read it until someone pointed it out,” said Puja Patel, a third-year Architecture student. Irrespective of the poor turnout, performances didn’t disappoint. The opening band, Nogapsbetween, set a chilled tone for the afternoon, whilst Deader than Disco picked up the pace. Locnville performed both old and

new songs, which resulted in many high-pitched screams from the girls. Jimmy Nevis then took to the stage and serenaded the crowd with his recent hits such as “Heartboxing”. Finally, the set ended with highly anticipated dance music legends, Basshunter, the renowned Swedish DJ, who played famous songs such as “Now You’re Gone”. Emma Selfe, SRC Entertaining and Fundraising Coordinator, plans for more events that will raise funds for the campaign throughout the year. Events will include comedy shows and another Rock the Mile

in August. The SRC hopes to rope in artists such as Goldfish and Groove Afrika. However, if the turn out for the event was less than expected, how can the SRC expect a larger crowd in the future? Selfe acknowledges the lack of attendance by students: “The turnout wasn’t the best. We will be learning from our mistakes going forward. We will have a larger marketing campaign and keep the academic timetable in consideration.” When asked if she would attend another SRC event, Sam Malunga, a third year Humanities student, replied, “Without a doubt. It was

news

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

New exam times on the table Chris van der Westhuyzen

he UCT Senate is set to convene on April 19th to vote on the proposal to schedule examination sessions on Fridays and Saturdays, and to establish a pre-exam consolidation period of at least five days. Since 2008, examinations have been scheduled on Mondays through Thursdays at 8am, 12.30pm and 5pm, while Fridays have been set aside for consolidation. The latest proposal provides for a five-day consolidation period before the start of the exams, and includes scheduled exam sessions on Fridays at 8am and 12.30pm, and one session on Saturdays. The Examinations and Assessment Committee and the Timetable Committee drafted the proposal during the second semester of last year. Mike Ramothwala, former Vice President of External Affairs for the Students’ Representative Council (SRC), who served on the Timetable Committee at the time, said the proposal aimed to prevent backto-back exams, which occur when students write two exams in two consecutive sessions. “Students who write back-to-back majors tend to focus their energy on the first one and then they don’t

have time to prepare for the second exam,” Ramothwala said. “This leads to high failure rates and ultimately high [academic] exclusion rates.” During the November 2012 examinations, an estimated 1 744 students wrote back-to-backexams. The projected schedule for the upcoming June exams, which is based on the latest timetable proposal, indicated 629 cases of back-to-back exams. “It’s not eliminating the problem entirely, but the pressure on students will be significantly less,” said Deputy Registrar, Karen van Heerden. “With 16 000 students each writing three or four papers, 629 seems like a drop in the ocean.” Certain religious organizations on campus objected to the notion of Saturday examinations, citing clashes with religious commitments over weekends. Khobatha Setetemela, Chairperson of the Seventh Day Adventist Student Movement at UCT, said Saturday exam sessions would interfere with Sabbath celebrations. “We would like the proposal to be enhanced so that it does not discriminate against any group of students by infringing on their constitutional right to freedom of religion,” Setetemela said. Senate rules make provision

Image: Ben Birchall STREAMLINING: The latest examination proposal includes two exams sessions on Fridays and one session on Saturday aiming to prevent back to-back exams. for a deferred opportunity for students who are unable to write the Saturday examination due to religious commitments. Lauren Kessler, Chair of the South African Union of Jewish Students in Cape Town, said deferred examinations risked defeating the initial aim of relieving the pressure of back-to-back exams. “If the deferred exam is scheduled at an unreasonable time, that would only leave students with an even more pressed timetable,” Kessler said.

SRC President Lorne Hallendorff said the SRC had not yet taken a stance on the timetable proposal. He said the SRC would hear feedback

“the pressure on students will be significantly less” from students before it presented the Senate with its final decision. “If the SRC’s final standpoint is different to the current proposal

then we will certainly argue for amendments or argue that it be scrapped at Senate,” Hallendorff said. Van Heerden said the aim of the timetable proposal was to find a student-friendly way of resolving the issue of clustered exam schedules. “The proposal is in the best interest of the majority of students,” van Heerden said. “We could not extend the entire exam period, because that would shorten the vac and require students to pay more for res accommodation.”

Inkanyezi: “agents of change” for underprivileged students Caroline Dott A youth-based educational organisation at UCT, Inkanyezi, has seen a positive leap in 2013, although it says it requires more support from the community in order to fulfill its goals. Since 2012, Inkanyezi has expanded its reach from one school to three. Currently, the project works with high school children in Khayelitsha, Gugulethu, Philippi and other underprivileged areas where youths are struggling to pursue their educational aspirations. “Basically, we are trying to bridge the gap between high school and university for these children,” said Marketing and Events Manager, Kukhanya Ncube. Ncube said that despite Inkanyezi’s growth over the last couple of months, the organisation still lacked the status, sponsorships and volunteer base of goodwill giant, SHAWCO. “We are appealing to the student body for support in this regard,” Ncube said. Inkanyezi is one of three subdivisions of Ubunye, an umbrella organisation based at UCT, alongside the Township Debating League and TeachOut. The organisation provides students with the necessary means to take advantage of the tertiary education opportunities available in their communities and beyond. They offer learners a range of services: basic computer training sessions on the UCT campus,

Mzoxolo Sitoto, an Inkanyezi committee member, used to be a pupil at one of the schools the organisation volunteers at. He said he had never touched a computer before coming to one of the “Info Centre” sessions held on the UCT campus.

“we are trying to bridge the gap between high school and university.”

Image: Source’s own

AGENTS OF CHANGE: Inkanyezi works with high school children in underprivileged areas assistance with bursary and study applications, and mentoring in academic and lifestyle programmes. Lindokuhle Mahlangu, a former student at Intsebeziswano High School in Phillipi, said she was very grateful for Inkanyezi’s mentorship during her time in grade 11 and 12. “Thanks to Inkanyezi, I […] now have an opportunity, which I am grabbing with both hands,” Mahlangu said.

“What made me join the project is that I wanted to do the same thing as the volunteers were doing, and it was all about giving back to my community,” Sitoto said. Sitoto, who descibes Inkanyezi’s team of volunteers as “agents of change,” said he urges the UCT community to help the organisation with its primary challenge, which is to change the attitudes and mindsets of the students it helps. If you would like to get involved with Inkanyezi, visit www. inkanyeziletusshine.co.za or email their Marketing and Events Manager at ncbkuk001@myuct.ac.za.

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editorial

The Bro Code

Alexandra Nagel Editor-in-Chief

Capitalism: the Laser tag monster

Deputy Editor At some stage of your life, you will most probably find yourself in the awkward position of liking someone that your friend has liked/ likes/dated/is currently dating or

Mitch Prinsloo

Laurie Scarborough

Of titanium tubes, and the end of man

Let us not forget Things Fall Apart

“Call me lazy, but when I watch a movie, I want the screenwriters to have made the ending obvious. And by that, I don’t mean that I want the ending to hit me over the head screaming “Hello, it’s me you’re looking for”. All I’m asking for is to know the movie has finished before the titles roll up.”

“He pitched a game that would only be possible to play 2000 years into the future. Why? The gist of the answer is that its titanium construct was buried at a random location in the Arizona desert.”

“I fondly remember how the diffusion of Things Fall Apart favourably affected everyone who read it. Either through its ability to inspire a (brief) interest in proverb telling, or how one would feel the urge to refer to a tall peer as “Okonkwo” we were proud to be a part of it, we were proud to be African.”

Columns continued online

Newsgathering Leslie Social 1A Tuesday April 2nd 1pm

Volume 72. edition 3: Please accept our apologies for the following error: The image for “Student staples: a few basics can make a whole menu of delicious meals” is credited to Cassidy Nydahl.

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Call me lazy

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s far back as the 14th century, a simple idea was created by not so simple minds. A monster it was, with no sex or gender. Still a foetus in the age of the Protestants, it sprung to adolescence in the 19th and 20th centuries with a face so vile and a heart so violent, its creators had to shelter it with some sort of glamour so the world would choose to look upon it. Our very own Frankenstein. I am not only referring to the creature, no, but to the engineers. A monstrosity like this must have a birth mother just as potent to have given birth to such a thing. Through the tampering of people’s lives with slavery, commercialism and exploitation, man has become the monster in itself. This monster wasn’t created in a laboratory, but in the wake of an already established autocracy. It became so versatile that it outlived its own creators. It is so wise it learnt how to command others into slaving away in factory halls and sweat shops all for a pair of shoes. A human life is worth less than a pair of fake leather shoes with a white tick on the side of it, as if that is ever right. There are those descendants of the creators, of course, who worship this creature as the allsaving grace of mankind. It is atrributed as praise almighty and powerful, similar to that of a deity as it is everywhere at the same time. Surely, then, it should have a name greater than all names that resonates in one’s eardrums as we trod out into the smoke with our ribs hanging out (yet to me, Capitalism doesn’t sound fancy

Rebecca Dallas

rules describing the no-no’s and hells yeah’s for the sisterhood? We could have a whole sistahs-beforemistahs attitude going on. Females need a straightforward record of the things they do and do not find acceptable in different circumstances when it comes to relationships and friendships. Because if we’re so hung up on feminisim, why aren’t we supporting our closest girlfriends? I’m tired of the “I wasn’t thinking properly at the time” shebang. Girls – you know what’s right and what’ll hurt your friends. Stop blaming your mistakes on your emotions. Make some hardcore rules about friendship and then stick to them. Don’t advocate false loyalty.

enough a name, so I will continue with the term “monster”). Little do we know that it holds us in its clutches with a simple wooden cross that has strings attached to our limbs as it acts as our puppeteer on the glorious world stage, doing its creators proud. As a modern world, surely such tickets are not still sold for such a show to be witnessed? And surely there is no one left who is keen to watch? Oh, modernity. How they still have us fooled even beyond the grave that we are modern because we walk upright and no longer hold a Springbok leg over a stonebased fire. Except in Africa, but we aren’t ranked as modern are we, with our evil military dictators that ride lions into the orange sunset. So maybe I should hold my tongue with that one. Despite that, the monster still finds a way to spew shiny toys in pink boxes onto our shelves and cars that are shinier than the sun during an eclipse onto our roads. That the trip between the shopping mall and your home is all the capitalist monsters really care about. As long as you keep pouring value into the piece of paper that has a buffalo on it, then the monster’s heart will keep ticking away with our minutes. It slowly begins to consume itself in the end, that is how greedy it has become. Take the lonely island of Cyprus for instance. The fact that no one even knew about this floating piece of ground until it became swamped with debt is exactly the point I am trying to make. No one cares about you unless you are in need of the very thing that is pulling you under (remember that stiff piece of paper with a buffalo on it?). Sticking its claws into people’s bank accounts just so that the monster can continue to thrive off of the very thing that is killing it; money, money, money. It’s all a big joke. The world has become a big, fat theme park for the capitalist monster whose favourite game is playing Laser tag with you and I. The only exception is that our guns don’t have lasers and we are left in the dark. The monstrosity has the power to put out our light of life just like that, but instead it chooses to tease us with the red beam from its laser tag gun.

someone who is already taken. It’s one of those situations that will put most of us in a bit of a pickle. Guys have it simple. How I met your mother taught us the rules of the Bro Code, but what do girls have – trust? You would think that knowing someone well enough to have them be your bestie would stop them from doing things that could potentially hurt you, but this isn’t always the case. “Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. That’s, just like, the rules of feminism,” said Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls. Hardly inspiring material for what constitutes a good friendship, yet I think the statement has some merit. Why don’t girls have a Chick Code – an unofficial list of

Editorial

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

editor-in-chief Alexandra Nagel deputy Editor Rebecca Dallas managing Editor Andrew Montandon Copy Editor Theresa Scott online editor Mitch Prinsloo Online chief subber Laurie Scarborough news Krysia Gaweda & Chris van der Westhuyzen opinions Katy Scott & Uthman Quick features Daniël Geldenhuys & Lynne Marie Fraser sportS Rob Byrne & Megan Kinnaird centrespread Zarmeen Ghoor images Tebesethu Nkambule, Elelwani Netshifhire, Siyanda Ralane & Jessica Breakey Design Julien Speyer web Stephen Hulme, Robin Mukanganise & Peter Maluge advertising & Finance Imaad Isaacs & Salman Ghoor marketing Vikash Gajjar human resources Tanyaradzwa Dzumbunu & Kudzai Tabaziba sub-editors Jena Ascough, Rhiannon Rees & Ryan Bird staff writers Ryan Bird, Ryno Nortjé, Busang Senne, Cai Nebe, Steffanie Busch, Hannah Gauss, Sandile Tsahabalala

opinions

Is love colour-blind?

Scotty Does Know

Katy Scott Opinions Editor

Humour me

Qamran Tabo

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

t is 2013, the year the born-frees

finally hit varsity after South Africa’s first democratic elections almost 20 years ago. Many older people expect we 90s babies to be more open-minded about race, in particular interracial dating, than our parents are. But a recent small on-campus survey revealed students’ preferences for the peachier things in life. I spoke to people who had spent the majority of their lives living in SA, most of them born in the early 1990s, and asked them about their thoughts on interracial dating. In total I surveyed sixty people, ten from each of the following racial groups: white, coloured (culturally),

Dating a white person is perceived as being the ultimate status symbol Indian, East Asian, biracial and African. All respondents stated that they would date someone of a different race. However, the majority of students responded that they would be particular about which race they would date if they were to date someone of a different race, with less than a quarter stating that they would date someone from any race. Almost all of the respondents described themselves as not being racially bigoted at all or as being only slightly racially prejudiced. Quite unsurprisingly, Caucasians were chosen as the most attractive by most non-whites. White respondents also expressed the highest percentage of intra-racial attraction, meaning that they considered their own race as one of the most attractive. African and Indian respondents are the only groups that found members of their own racial groups unattractive. They, and East Asians, were also ranked the lowest by other races. Apart from colonialism, media has had a major effect on who we consider beautiful and worthy of attention and who not. There is still an overwhelming amount of white faces on TV, in movies and magazines. As a quick experiment, ask some of your friends what their favourite TV

Image: Jessica Breakey show is; chances are its cast will be predominantly Caucasian. Dating a white person is perceived as being the ultimate status symbol for many people of colour. I have heard many male students of colour stating that nothing says “I have arrived” quite like having an Aryan nymph on your arm. Stereotyped as having high standards, white partners are supposedly more difficult to attract. Hence, bagging one is an achievement. With white South Africans being statistically the most educated, literate and wealthy population group in the country, more “value” is added to having them as romantic partners. You could think of it as romantic Darwinism.

Of course everyone has the right to choose who they want as a romantic partner, but it is interesting to observe how race, which is really just a collection of arbitrary physical features, acts as a barrier when it comes to who we choose to love. Having been at UCT and in South Africa long enough, I have come to realise that we would have better luck creating a research wing at Med School dedicated to cloning white people to feed the demand than trying to understand the origins of some our supposed “preferences”. Hopefully one day, when the world’s entire population becomes creolised, characters will be the only deciding factor for who we want to date.

UCT votes on most attractive race

Unimportant to me

control over. In an attempt to do so, the ‘fake laugh’ has established itself as an ad hoc remedy to every awkward situation. We have come to flash our fake laughs as shamelessly as we swank about in knock-off brands. Think of the last time someone chuckled in your presence. Did they really find you that funny? Chances are they didn’t. Chances are you either had something disturbingly brown between your teeth or they are just genuinely good at I have a friend that after years being fake. of studying Actuarial Science has It is believed that laughter transitioned backwards into a evolved from our primate socially awkward moth. She cracks ancestors. If tickled, our furry up at the stupidest of jokes, blurts friends did not chortle but out the most mortifying things, and rather demonstrated a sort of whenever she opens her trap she panting sound, a sound now is met with lingering silences and considered to be the root of shifting eyes. modern-day laughter. This is no critique of the ActSci If laughter stemmed from a department in primitive form general, nor am of panting and I picking on my now consists of it is believed that peer, but rather tinny, artificial I am observing a laughter evolved from giggles, heaven single soul that what our primate ancestors forbid has found itself is waiting for so smothered us further by percentages and patterns down the evolutionary line. that it has reverted to a state of Perhaps our children’s children juvenile awkwardness. will be bursting into fits In her defence, it is plausible of shrieks. that the paradigms of all that is It seems that the sociallyconventionally considered to adapted among us have acquired be “funny” have shifted rather a vast repertoire of laughs in drastically since she crawled response to the multitude of social into her calculator all those circumstances they find themselves years ago. in. Exceptions such as my friend, In an era overloaded by (whom I daren’t call borderline uploaders, downloaders and socially-retarded, so socially freeloaders, there’s no wonder awkward shall suffice) are clearly society has become even further not as acutely attuned to such desensitized to all things funny social subtleties. whilst people like my friend have And it is for this reason that she been out of the picture. Today in is my true friend. Yes, I may only the vast mishmash of memes, gags, have one, but at least that’s one and cat videos at our disposal, it more than you’ll ever have. I’ve takes something quite spectacular come to appreciate her bluntness, to transform a simple “lol” into a even if it does make me want to belly-clutching guffaw. face palm (her face). Her laugh is Much like every other audible across Jammie plaza, but at involuntary phenomenon least it’s sincere. And the best part? experienced by man, laughter is Her verbal farts get rid of a host of an unconscious reaction we have unwanted perverts. tried to garner some form of

opinions

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

Viva vagina

SRC has no space for Independents Rekgotsofetse Chikane

Jessica Breakey

weren’t objectifying women, but rather chose race as the focus of objectification? Would they radition” is a powerful still be sung proudly? Would word that both drives House Comms continue to teach and excuses the actions of many. them and wardens allow them People often think that upholding to be taught? a tradition somehow makes their Surely, it would not align with experiences more meaningful or UCT’s transformation policy if worthy. At UCT, many students white university students gathered believe that our university is in large groups and sang about superior or elite because we what they would do to a black man have a sense of tradition; this is in the morning? Yes, I went there. specifically perpetuated within our So, here is my question: residence system. should we be objecting to these I am not a loyal supporter of chants? Should we be challenging tradition. I do not believe that our university for continuing the actions of to allow such a any individual tradition whilst should be Can we justify it simply s i m u l t a n e o u s l y excused because trying to undergo because it is “tradition”? a many years process of ago someone transformation? decided that Can we that’s how things should be done. justify it simply because it I also do not think South is “tradition”? Africa is a country guided by Such passive mentalities are tradition as we repeatedly try to dangerous – blindly following both break away from and correct tradition is a fundamental flaw in much of the “traditional thinking” our society. It is detrimental to all of those who previously ruled forms of progress. and oppressed. Some may think the songs are Females in the UCT residence harmless and there are bigger system can testify to the countless things to worry about, but can songs, dubbed “tradition”, that are we really quantify the difference directed towards them by male between a physical act of sexual residences during O-week. violence and a verbal one? To Unfortunately, these songs disregard even the smallest act do not die after O-week but are of discrimination is to disregard sang continuously every time the story of every woman who mob mentality ignites a group’s has fought for women’s rights and confidence to sing, in a bus or in called for an end to women being the streets, until it is once again viewed as sexual objects. resurrected the following year. Perhaps you disagree with me, It would be ignorant to but why? Should I not be tired of assume that every man in an aging sexist mentality, should I residence participates in the not demand my right to be treated “passionate displays” and it with dignity and respect? would be even more ignorant to I hope all UCT women assume that these chants offend celebrated or acknowledged both all women. Yet, it offends me. International Women’s Day and I am offended. Human Rights Day and, moreover, Shall we imagine for a I hope no one ruined your day by paragraph that these songs chanting patriarchal garb to you.

“T

Imagine a world without political parties: a nirvana-esque world, where the politics of Politics never come into play. Where the will of the individual guides us towards a world of peace and prosperity, based on the premise that the work would just get done. It sounds amazing but falls short on one major hurdle: can an independent truly represent the aggregate views of society as an individual?

Are ideological differences only limited to political parties…? The recent call for comments on the election by-laws will inevitably be followed by the call for the removal of political parties from the process completely. This wouldn’t be at all unprecedented, but would be untenable. If a political party can mobilise a group of students, aggregate their views, present them in a sound, non-violent and non-discriminatory argument then would it be right to deny them access to influence student governance at the highest level? Whether their membership consists of a miniscule proportion (with membership in absolute terms being very misleading) of the student population, these are the individuals who care enough to participate in the process. To believe that a sole individual can represent the views of a university society better than a political party is troubling. If the argument though is that the ideological differences of political parties interfere with the functioning of a SRC then that argument raises two important questions. The first is two-fold: are ideological differences only limited to political parties and can independents

Image: Michael Currin SRC INTERROGATION: a Question and Answer forum was held in 2012 remain ideologically staunch in their beliefs? If an independent made a campaign promise to the student body and was subsequently told that said promise would not be acted on by the SRC, I can’t imagine such an individual would simply accept it and move on because they are an “independent” thinker. The second question is, if we believe that independents would be able to do their job more efficiently because of the lack of political shackling, does that mean that the SRC would be more efficient? Probably yes, but it would be a truly toothless SRC, unable to push for any long-term substantial change within the university. It would be a 17-person administrative team that changes every year and not the dynamic entity able to carry the views of students long after we have graduated. It’s odd that many students

who believe that we are in a liberal institution would be willing to take away the ability for students to choose who represents them in the SRC. Many will also argue that parties have an unfair advantage over individuals during elections. If the will of students is to have a truly independent SRC devoid of political parties then it would stand to reason that the SRCs of the past would be independent or led by independent coalitions. But the fact that there has been no such SRC shows that there is a will from the student body for parties to stake a claim in the SRC. Let the voters use their constitutional right to decide who should lead them, be it a political party or an independent, not a set of by-laws. If the call is that SRCs have no space for political parties then it should be equally fair to make the call that SRCs have no space for independents.

Assignment 1: find a husband Busang Senne

When I sit down and think about why I came to university, there usually end up being many reasons, one of which being that I’m not entirely sure my parents would like to me to live in their basement until I’m 40. Another is that it seems to be a valuable place for knowledge of all kinds, be it social or academic. What I didn’t think of it being a valuable place for, however, is finding a husband. Humour me, for the prospect of being married is not something I can discuss with a straight face. To me, holy matrimony is such a strange and foreign concept; it is the equivalent of having a mortgage, or waking up one day and being 30. Of course I have to take into account everyone else who might feel differently. Some of my fellow UCT students are, after all, adults who presumably find the idea of getting hitched at some point particularly appealing.

Image: Sello Magaga Of course our parents and grandparents got married as young as eighteen, but modern times call for modern measures, and many of us are more concerned with furthering our education and pursuing success in our careers. So it’s quite a surprise that some of us are even t hinking about it. I suppose for some it’s not

that preposterous: UCT, being an impressive institution, can be assumed to be a place where in one way or another, regardless of background or cultural demographic, you are guaranteed a pool of capable and ambitious people from which to choose. And who wouldn’t want the next Bill Gates or Richard Branson by

their side until death do you part? For some, marriage is an institution of great importance. It carries certain connotations and expectations that can’t be ignored simply because the rest of us think they’re old-fashioned. In terms of culture and religion, marriage is a necessary milestone: it can be regarded as a fundamental

sacrament, or a biblical command, a reflection of the eternal love of God, or a merging of two souls becoming one. It could even be no more than a contractual obligation to ensure property, security and exchange – a mere question of survival. Maybe the answer to the question as to why we’re following the footsteps of our forefathers in tying the knot so young (even whilst still studying) is that marriage represents a fundamental building block in human behavior and society. It’s one of the few practices that is still deemed acceptable, even in modern times, and it still seems to be something people aim for and hold in high regard, a necessary route in the map of life. Perhaps we can never truly understand the reasons as to why university students are not only scanning books but also scanning for potential life partners. Or why people in general get married at all. After all, marriage is a baffling thing, no matter where or how you’re proposing it.

opinions

The other side of exchange

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

Police brutality: action and activism

Jackie Zvoutete hat is your good name?” – one of the first questions I was dauntingly met with on arrival in India. There I was, in the midst of a new social group, so much occurring around me; three wheeled rickshaws (which I've fondly grown to call Tuk Tuks), the sound of mucus and spitting shocking my ears and making my stomach churn; standing in front of an Indian man waiting to register me and again he asked, “What is your good name?” Did the question imply that I had a bad name? Did it refer to the existence of some alter ego that Indians believed existed in everyone? Did it have something to do with one of their multitude of gods?

We are conditioned to believe that one way of living is a “better” Fine, those were not the questions that raced through my mind. But the reality is that they could have, and it would not have been because of sheer “ignorance” (as I have commonly thought was the reason for our own foreign exchange students’ lack of general knowledge), but because I was, and am, living in a space that is continents away from my African home. As said by Dorothy, “We are not in Kansas any more.” I now share a new found empathy with the foreign exchange students that troll, no, grace our UCT campuses. The knowledge one has about a place arises from the societal

Image: Jackie Zvoutete

Mwinji Siame milieu from which they come and, prior to my trip to Delhi from Cape Town, the knowledge I acquired about India was not favourable. The “ignorance” we often associate with exchange students is a form of knowledge that has been formulated from a viewpoint that is nonimmanent (i.e. from the outside). You can never acquire complete understanding of something until you experience the situation from the inside. I have learned more about India and myself than I ever would have found within the covers of a book or any form of media. For example, every one of us is a negotiator. Take a trip to Sarojini market and you become an expert; you can bargain something from Rs500 to Rs200. The trick is to feign disinterest and just walk away, they will always call you back! The sales people bank on the fact that you are foreign and don't know any better; oh we ignorant foreigners. The word impossible is relative. Before India, I would have sworn it was not feasible for me chase a rat from a room, but twice I found myself

doing the undoable. The abundance of stray dogs is unbelievable. The dogs stroll in and out of the hostels, cohabiting. You quickly get used to this and learn how to deal with them. Stray dogs, rats, haggling...as some of you read this, you may think, what a terrible way of life, but that is the problem. We are conditioned to believe that one way of living is a “better”, more developed way of life; a linear progression from pre-modern to modern. But who defines development? In comparison to what standard are we claiming a certain way of life brings happy living? I have learned to see life not through the opaque one-sided lens of the modernisation process, but through an appreciation of the diverse ways of living of various societies. My lack of knowledge to what a good name is should not be seen as ignorance, but an opportunity for me to learn more. Good name is simply the name one commonly uses, I replied, “My good name is Jackie, I'm on foreign exchange from UCT.”

South Africa, when will your women matter to you? Uvania Naidoo Would you believe me if I told you that I was sexually harassed on a daily basis? Well I am, and chances are you know a woman who experiences it too. If you don't believe me, ask your girlfriend, sister or mother. Ask any woman within 500 metres of you and I guarantee she will have a similar story to tell, if not worse. Before I am accused of being inflammatory, allow me to paint a picture of the different kinds of harassment I am referring to, from the subtle sexual passes to the blatant butt grabs. My flatmate mentioned breakfast today and it ignited a memory I suppressed from just a day earlier without the slightest realisation of what I was doing or why. I had decided to try out the new café down the road. I was scanning the menu when I felt his heavy presence descend upon me. While I decided what to order he stood over me – smiling, scanning, staring. Before long, I realised that the breakfast I had ordered did not come with sausages. I asked him whether I could have them as an added extra. His response was the thing I immediately and defensively forgot, and when my flatmate said “breakfast” today, it came back with

Image: Rhiannon Rees

“W

Image: Wikimedia Commons

a resounding and defiling thud. “Oh, you like sausages, hey? I’m sure you do.” Some may say that his response was perfectly legitimate considering the blatantly obvious context, but any woman can identify this moment – when you feel violated because he has managed to make a sexual pass at you using nothing. You have given him nothing and yet he finds something, anything. Why did I forget his deplorable comment? Because South African women have developed defence mechanisms to sexual harassment in the form of suppression and desensitisation. We ignore the wolf whistles, groping and inappropriate comments because we have to; because it is too painful to endure them beyond the second in which they happen. I have had my vagina groped. And when I told my closest friend

about it, her consolation was: “Oh, you are so lucky it wasn’t worse. It could have been way worse, you know.” This is not an insensitive response, mind you. It is a tragically realistic one because groping leading to rape is sadly that likely. So we console ourselves in saying that we got off lucky this time. Is this what our society has been reduced to? Welcome to South where-it-couldalways-be-worse Africa. It is important to remember that rape cannot be tackled without considering the daily, subtle sexual passes that precede it. Our solution needs to be preventative rather than reactionary. So I ask you again, South Africa: when will your women matter to you? Contact DISCHO on 021-650 3530 if you require any advice on sensitive issues, or to report any sexual harassment or violence experienced.

It is the duty of the police to know when and how to act. These If the wanton assault of 27 yearare not “mistakes” or “regrettable” old Mido Macia proves anything, incidents, these are human lives. it is the viral nature of violence Poor decisions, or in the case in South Africa. Even the people of Marikana, indecision and whose duty it is to protect us confusion, can be costly. The have turned to harm us. However, inability to grasp and appreciate perhaps far more disturbing than what is at stake can be even more so. their actions is their failure to act, We are dumbfounded by the or to act appropriately. increasingly perverse character of Mido Macia, a Johannesburg crimes in our country. When our taxi driver, was handcuffed to sisters and daughters and mothers the back of a are raped, police van and beaten and left dragged for 400 for dead, we are metres after When we cannot stand angry. When being arrested our husbands, to watch, we must act for a traffic fathers and sons obstruction. are slaughtered Video footage like cattle, we shows several police officers are horrified. But how, when the standing aside and, it appears, men and women whose duty it is cajoling their colleagues as the to protect us have such disregard police van drives off. for human life, could things Not only do the police be any different? condone this conduct through When we turn a blind eye to their complicity, but they actively the violence next door, when we encourage it, roused by power laugh at the crude gestures and and violence. The act is made all jokes, when we ask our loved the more cruel by the fact that ones to choose between silence these men and women could and shame, how can this stop? and should have taken action but It was not only the police who chose to ignore their moral and stood aside, but the ordinary men professional duty. and women who watched with One official has claimed that their arms folded, like members “[they] did not know Macia was of an audience. attached to the back of the van” When we cannot stand to as though that makes the brutality watch, we must act, and when we more acceptable. If anything, it cannot act we must use our voices. points to gross negligence on It is only through the consistent the part of police. We cannot activism of ordinary citizens and afford to have individuals the proper action of our police that operating lethal assault weapons we will be able to fight this scourge who are comfortable with of violence. We must stand as allies making “mistakes”. in the fight against crime.

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features

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

The mood re-up

In the year 2043 Hannah MacMillan writes a note to her son about the old days Hannah MacMillan

Refiloe Sibisibi

is an on-going movement which is totally out of our control. Rather base your identity on your inner My happiness fix is the self – the only thing you can smoothness of Michael Bublé. change is your reaction of things But for some people it’s watching around you. anything from Harlem shakes to Revising your goals is the seeing Beyoncé’s full concert on vacation your mind needs. YouTube. Generally guys get happy Sometimes we focus so hard on our by listening to music (even if it is a goals that we forget that in order mission for them to agree that they to reach them we need to rest, eat do get sad) or and have fun. Even playing games, superheroes have focus on the good while girls occasional messprefer having a ups. Try making things in life, rather fremaly (friends your daily goal than the bad + family, get it?) being happy. Can conference call, you imagine how dancing to current pop tracks or peaceful that would be? taking a walk. Not only is exercise good for New York based Psychologist your body, it’s also beneficial Ilana Donna Arazie reckons that to your mind. “Serotonin, the we all have “pull downs” and it ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter, is how we choose to live with is released in your brain when them which allows us to cope or working out. Yoga shifts life’s not. She compiled five mood- energy around in your body so elevation techniques, the main that you’re in balance, which point of which is to focus on the leaves you feeling happy and good things in life, rather than the slightly stoned,” says Arazie. bad. Not only will you feel better, Live in the present, avoid but you will attract positivity worrying about the past (which (that guy you think is cute might you cannot change) and the even say hi). future (which you cannot tell). Consider losing (the illusion Focusing on the present is golden of) control. What makes us down because this is what you can and out is that we base the core control. As Kgalema Motlanthe of our identities on things that once said, “In the past we learn, constantly change: work, friends, in the future we hope, but in the and our bodies. Everything in life present we live”.`

To My Darling First-Born Son. As you see, the writing (or painting, rather) is on your bedroom wall. When I was your age we wrote on virtual walls on a social networking site which no longer exists. The internet and all of its tabs having been destroyed in the Virtual War of 2022…which you learnt about in Virtual History last year, remember? (I still don’t understand why you wanted to drop the class – I edited that textbook! It’s great!) But I detract. Firstly: the current state of your room makes it impossible for me to believe that we are currently living in the 2040s. This atrocious level of dust and garbage may have existed in the 20-teens, but not now. You are far too old for me to be putting your dirty socks in the incinerator. Secondly: If you are serious about getting into the Cape Island University next year you are going to have to spend less time at the Newlands forest beaches with the Booklander brothers and more time in Futuristics class. Apart from the fact that you have no permission WHATSOEVER to leave the mainland during school hours; the university will never admit you with your current Audio-Visual Art results. Mathematics may have been the doorway to everything when I was 18 but that is no longer the case. Your sister worked incredibly hard

Image: Flickr.com to get into Sub-marine Architecture and I expect nothing less from you— Teleportation is no joke (fees-wise AND work-wise) and I need to see that you are utterly serious about it. When I was at university, the Cape was still a city. I went home in the afternoons which allowed my parents to keep an eye on me. Now only the mountain and the Cape Island University (then the University of Cape Town) remain above the floodwater. And because the ferries take so long in the afternoons, and because your father and I work late most days (and NO: there is NO way we are buying you a minicraft unless you pay half, as agreed), it will be necessary for us to send you to the Island Residence…and because I won’t be there to write on your wall you are officially on probation. Thirdly: your flying instructor

called. He says that next week’s lesson will have to be moved because of the airway maintenance-workers’ strike. I believe they’re causing all kinds of accidents which make me long for good-old, grounded traffic jams and protest marches where people actually marched. Once you have read and internalized these matters please put a fresh coat of paint on your wall. The tin is in the hangar next to the engine cleaner. It should be enough to cover this message and the marks from your rocket-ball (which you are only meant to practice outside, Ezra). Don’t forget to feed the docat. Her meowling keeps half the neighborhood awake. I’ll be home after seven. Love, Your Wonderful Mother

Under-rated exam tips: the 1st steps to getting a first Yes, it’s exam term again. This is a cut-out-and-keep article. Thank us later. Anna Insam

y exam tips aren’t your typical ones. The truth is, I know how exam time usually goes down: We start off with the best intentions following the standard exams tips, like eating right and being organized, yet somewhere along the line things get muddled and we end up completely and utterly (insert bad word here). So, in order to combat this I shall share some under-rated words of wisdom:

Have all your resources in one spot Everyone has to start somewhere, so collect all the resources that you will need to study for each exam and organise them by course. You may be fishing things out from under your mattress to do this, but having all your texts in one place results in you being equipped with the tools you need when the time comes to study.

Get lecture slideshows Print your lecture slides as three on a page with lines beside them to take notes on when you study. Relax, it’s just a print setting – no hassle to

Image: Varsity Archive do. Exams are based on lectures, so paying close attention to them can only be beneficial.

Time manage like an OCD freak It sounds extreme but plan your day by the hour. If you have a free period, assign yourself something to study in that time. You end up studying more without having to sacrifice or lose out on that extra hour later. Be realistic; if you’re

going to Jaboolie on Wednesday, don’t kid yourself. Dedicate three hours in the afternoon so that you can fit in your social schedule too. It really is a win-win situation!

Use your own words Whether you’re making notes alongside your lecture slides or reading your course texts, always convert what is being said into your own words. You aren’t a parrot, (right?) so don’t just repeat what

you read. Your own words will result in a concept being simplified and therefore create a better understanding of it. You are also more likely to remember your own words in a few days time than the definition you read in a text.

Find out how you will be tested Knowing how questions will be asked allows you to prepare how you will answer them. Knowing what is

expected of you allows you to study to meet those expectations.

Get your attitude in check Don’t walk into your exam like Beyoncé thinking you run the world. Walk in having faith in your abilities, yet humble. The above underrated tips are bound to make you successful in avoiding those nasty little supps. Okay friends, now is the time to get out of ‘holiday mode’ and into ‘study mode’!

features

The story of fashion

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

Falling on deaf ears

This is why youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wearing what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wearing. With Micky Mouse on the side.

DaniĂŤl Geldenhuys

f you want to escape fashion, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have to walk around wearing the Emperorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s clothes. Most people donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know (or care) where their clothes come from, but we are not those people. By we I mean you, me, Dupree, us: The intelligent (if slightly aristocratic) university students. Have you ever thought about why the clothes on your back look the way they do? The answer starts here, and it has nothing to do with a sweatshop in the east. (Unless you shop at China Town, in which case you may as well fold this newspaper into a more attractive bag than the one youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re currently carrying.) Fashion starts with an idea in a designerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brain. Micky Mouse. Not a Micky Mouse designer, but rather a designer thinking about Micky Mouse. The designer prints Micky Mouse in black and white onto a basic shirt and voila! a collectorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s item is created. The Micky Mouse shirt by the not-so-Micky-Mouse designer will walk down the runway at New York Fashion Week. The shirt will then become the obsession of a gaggle of fashion editors and bloggers looking for â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;the next big trendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in fashion. A few months later Micky Mouse will be shot (with a camera, in case it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t clear) on a model who might have an awkward relationship with food. That image will appear in a top-selling international fashion magazine six months after Micky was first seen on the catwalk. Another six months later, Micky is long forgotten by the designer and overseas fashion editors. Now Micky touches down in South Africa,

Image: Sofia Gilli

Lauren Niekerk

Image: Kim Swarts ready to adorn locals and give them the same stylish winter he gave the Europeans. But Micky Mouse is not alone. Along with him comes his friends Minimal, Volume, Goth, Dark, Floral, Space, and Print. Some of Mickyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s friends shared the runway with him, others walked down a different runway in a different city. But thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a problem: Helga, the love child of the Wicked Witch and The Situation is here too. And she brought her friends: Tatty, Zef, Unstructured, Croc, Boring, and Plain Ugly. Together, Micky and his friends, and Helga and her friends make up all the clothes in all the stores around you.

VARSITY has decided to take the Micky out of fashion and launch a digital style supplement. Come April 16th, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be able to log onto varsitynewspaper.co.za and browse our free digital magazine with all the best looks for the new season. We donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a Micky Mouse shirt in there anywhere, but we do have the Prada menswear shirt-overpoloneck idea as well as the tapestry floral Dolce & Gabbana-type dress (and of course much more). For more than 70 years, VARSITY Newspaper has brought you the best News, Opinions, Features and Sport. Now, for the first time, VARSITY STYLE will bring you something to wear while you read your favourite student newspaper.

HOW TO: Survive awkward moments Ryan Bird We have all experienced that feeling of discomfort when your usually open mind freezes up and the only thing you can think of is hoping that this moment can pass by. You lose your rationale and say and do things you normally wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t. This is the power that the awkward moment has over those that are not prepared. So keep calm and read these tips on surviving awkward moments. Soon you will become a master of the awkward moment.

It is not the end of the world You might feel that collapsing on the spot and never waking up is the best option at the moment, but there are plenty of alternatives: studying for exams, academic success, Emoism, midweek Claremont, a double brandy and coke, world domination. A few days afterwards, it is likely that you would look back and laugh. Life goes on and believe it or not, there are many more awkward moments in the future, waiting for you so they can ruin the day. But after reading these tips, next time you will be

weakness and problems with mobility and balance. Exceedingly high sounds strip insulation from While at home or on the go, it the nerve fibers that carry signals is likely that you will use a pair from the ear to the brain, causing of earphones while listening to similar effects. your tunes. It isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t difficult to The alternative type of spot a few students walking earphones, known as earbuds, around on campus with a pair. go straight into your ear canal. They are so common, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Blasting music at a high volume unremarkable. But as people this close to your inner ear for walk around immersed in their extended periods of time (which favourite songs, oblivious to their most of us do!) will damage the surroundings, they are unaware sensitive parts that make up of the damage being caused. the ear and result in permanent Generally speaking, earphones hearing loss. arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bad. Using these accessories The scary thing is that hearing will not cause any serious damage loss can happen with almost to your ears no alarming as long as you symptoms. This is keep the volume The louder the music, because there is no in check. Roy pain. the greater the damage associated Christensen, Some noticeable a leading differences audiologist, include being says that the danger factor boils unable to hear high-pitched down to one thing: volume. The sounds and finding it difficult to louder the music, the greater the understand speech in a crowd. damage. The solution? Try limiting your Failing to recognise this basic music playerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s volume to less than safety precaution while using 85 decibels, the sound equivalent earphones can result in some to a lawnmowerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rumble. A safe serious ear damage. Temporary way to ensure the volume is not deafness and tinnitus (ringing too loud is by testing if you can of the ears) are common effects. still hear other noises around you Research shows that exceedingly as you listen to your music. Take loud noise levels (those above at least a 15 minute break every 110 decibels) such as car few hours when using earphones horns, a live concert and even for long periods. firecrackers have a similar effect â&#x20AC;&#x153;Listening to loud music on nerves as multiple sclerosis, for half an hour will do just as an inflammatory disease that much damage as [standing next damages the nerve fibers. Nerve to] a chainsaw for the same fibers carry messages to and amount of time,â&#x20AC;? according to from the brain, so patients have Roy Christensen. So turn the symptoms like numbness and volume down now and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be tingling, blurred vision, muscle thankful later.

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features

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

Shopping App a Storm: The smart shopper network Lynne Marie Fraser I’m not lucky enough to have an Android phone or an iPhone. Yet. If I was, I would be using the app I’m about to share with you. In fact, it is apps like this one that have almost pushed me right off the edge of this Blackberry cliff, like one of the Dodos in the Ice Age movie. Those Dodos dived off in their hundreds to reach the melon, leaving no survivors.

Like the Dodo species, users like me gradually disappear. Once we have adapted, we will be able to enjoy an ingenious new application called Found Shopping, recently launched by two UCT alumni. Faheem Kajee, co-founder of the app, studied commerce at UCT, but realised that a simple, creative idea can go a long way. He says he would encourage students to become entrepreneurs and that with hindsight, he would have dared to take risks at a younger age. He believes that no matter

what happens, you learn from every experience. Found Shopping is a completely user-generated app. Everything posted on Found Shopping comes from users and all the other people who download the app for free. Anyone, anywhere in the world, can contribute to the content on the application by sharing a deal you find, as and when you come across it. This app allows others to see special bargains that are out there

before it’s too late. “It’s a little bit like a treasure hunt…a deal treasure hunt,” says Faheem. The idea is not only to share deals between a community of users who are interested in the same thing, track the shame shops, brands or styles, but to share in the satisfaction of having ‘found’ the best bargain around and save a buck. Whether you need to save cash or not, knowing that you’ve beat overpricing and exploitation is a satisfying feat.

Innovations like these happen relentlessly. No sooner have you purchased the latest device is a newer one released. Those consumers with fat enough wallets always adapt on time, leaving the rest of us desperate to catch up. And when we get the chance to do so, we throw ourselves at it like Dodos after a melon. With technology and shopping being the only certainties in any future world, these UCT alumni have ensured their place at the top of the pecking order.

Vegetarian dinners for dummies Cassidy Nydahl

t’s no secret that vegetarians (or heaven forbid, vegans!) are notoriously difficult to cook for. No longer can you resort to your trusty roasted chicken recipe that, without fail, feeds and satisfies other meatloving friend. But has anyone ever considered that perhaps vegetarians (and yes, even vegans like to host sometimes) have a difficult time wondering what to cook for their non tree-hugging-inclined buddies? I would like to impart some helpful tips that might solve the problem for both sides. Firstly, if you’re not quite as ecofriendly, and meaty products often grace your dinner plate, you should find out exactly what your friend can and cannot eat. If they label themselves pescetarian, they don’t eat any meat other than fish and fish by-products. This makes your meal search slightly easier. Vegetarians are a little more extreme. No meat, including fish, will pass their mouths. Vegans go a little further than the extreme, as they won’t eat any animal by-products either, which include eggs, dairy and preservatives that are animal-based. It’s no secret that meat has a lovely taste, texture and nutritional value that is very difficult to replace; however, it can be done! One way to do this is to draw on the relatively new discovery of the fifth taste, umami, which originates from the Japanese, and labels a pleasant savoury, or meaty, taste that is highly satisfying. While meat is very high in the umami taste, many other nonmeat products are too, including mushrooms, ripe tomatoes, spinach, sundried tomatoes and aged products like cheese and soy sauce. Adding these ingredients to your cooking will increase the umami flavour and trick your meat-eating guest into believing they’ve just had a protein-packed meal. The next issue would be including the missing protein in your meal that is usually found in meat. For vegetarians, protein can be found in dairy products and eggs. Vegans can find their protein in nuts, seeds, certain vegetables like spinach, broccoli and soy beans, and even grains like oat bran and long grain rice. But what exactly can you cook that will satisfy all the above? Here are three recipes to get you started. They may not taste like chicken, but they’ll do just fine.

Pescetarian-friendly lemony tuna and olive pasta

Vegan-friendly Asian sweetcorn and mushroom soup

Vegetarian-friendly butternut, caramelised onion and goat’s cheese tart

Images: Cassidy Nydahl Ingredients:

Ingredients:

Ingredients: Half a packet whole-wheat spaghetti 1 red onion, sliced ½ tsp crushed garlic Zest and juice of 2 lemons 1 packet olives, pitted and quartered 3 heaped tbsp sundried tomato pesto 2 cans chunky tuna, drained ¼ cup vegetable stock 2 rounds feta, crumbled Handful wild rocket (optional)

Method: Bring a pot of salted water to a boil, and cook the pasta until al dente, then set aside. Meanwhile, fry the garlic and onion in a little olive oil until browned, then add the olives, pesto, lemon zest and juice, tuna and vegetable stock, and simmer until the sauce has reduced. Add the pasta to the pan and toss until wellcoated with the sauce. Add the feta and wild rocket, season with salt and pepper, and serve.

Tips: Basil pesto is also delicious in this dish.

1 packet dried mushrooms 2 spring onions, finely chopped 2 handfuls mange tout, sliced 2 handfuls baby spinach 1 tsp crushed ginger ½ tsp crushed garlic 500ml vegetable stock ½ can coconut milk 1 can cream-style sweetcorn ¼ cup soy sauce 2 packets instant noodles, without the flavour sachets Handful coriander, roughly chopped (optional)

Method: Soak the dried mushrooms in just enough warm (not boiling) water to cover for 20 minutes. Add the mushrooms with the water, spring onions, garlic, ginger, vegetables, stock, coconut milk, sweetcorn and soy sauce to a pot and bring to a simmer. Break apart the instant noodles, add to the soup and simmer until the noodles have softened, then serve in bowls with a sprinkling of coriander.

300g butternut, cubed 2 cloves garlic, peeled and quartered 2 sprigs rosemary 300g baby onions, quartered 25g butter 2 tbsp brown sugar 4 tbsp balsamic vinegar 200g ready-made puff pastry Flour, to roll out 50g chevin goat’s cheese, cut into rounds

Method: Preheat the oven to 200°C. Put the butternut and garlic in an oven tray, drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper and sprinkle over the needles of one sprig of rosemary. Roast in the oven for 40 minutes, or until golden. Heat the butter and olive oil in a pan over medium heat, then sauté the onions until they’re soft and slightly golden. Add the balsamic vinegar and brown sugar and continue to sauté until the sauce has caramelised. Sprinkle the remaining rosemary on the bottom of an oven-proof dish, and then add the roast butternut and onion. Roll out the pastry to form a 26cm diameter circle, then cover the butternut and onion and tuck in the sides. Prick with a fork and pop into the oven for 25-30 minutes, until the pastry has browned. Remove from the oven, and let it rest for five minutes before running a knife along the sides of the tart, placing a plate over it and carefully flipping it over. Place the goat’s cheese on top and serve.

Tips: Mushrooms are fantastic meat substitutes as they have a similar flavour and texture. The vegetables in this dish can be substituted for anything you like. Asparagus is also wonderful in this recipe.

Tips: Goat’s cheese can also be substituted with feta, the rosemary can be substituted with thyme, and the dish is also delicious without the butternut.

features

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

Welcome to Planet UCT: a student bubble The death of print media? Three of the strangest jobs you could ever do. an honest look at what was going on around you? How in tune are you to what’s happening outside your world, apart from the world UCT has created for us? From those that I’ve asked, we’ve only experienced Cape Town through a looking glass or better yet, the transparent walls of a bubble. But how much of that is UCT’s doing and your own? Maybe the bubble only encapsulates us as much as we want it to.

we’ve only experienced Cape Town through a looking glass

Image: pakgalaxy.com

Monja Pienaar

Image: Varsity Archive

Busang Senne

elcome to Planet UCT, a prosperous and thriving land known for its vine-covered landscapes and erratic weather, and home of the Ikeys student. Just like any other planet, its inhabitants must beg the question: is there intelligent life elsewhere or are we the only beings on the Mountain? I’ve lived here for a sum total of five weeks and it occurred to me that apart from UCT being situated in all the hustle and bustle the Mother City

has to offer, who really knows what’s going on outside its prestigious walls? For the most part, those who I’ve asked certainly don’t. And so the invented theory of the ‘UCT bubble’ was born: it seems there’s a lot of isolation and cabinfever going on when you discover, after jam-packed weeks of tests and partying, that you didn’t even know there was a new Pope (I sincerely hope that statement is completely metaphorical for all of us). When was the last time you read a newspaper, watched the news or wandered into town and really took

There are over a hundred societies and organizations to choose from, which will take you anywhere from mountain climbing to a classroom in Khayelitsha. Maybe the key to feeling not so out of touch with issues and affairs is getting right into the thick of them. We all saw this happening with the SRC’s night vigil against rape and violent crime as well as the march against violence, thousands of us chanting “we say enough”, reaching out and doing something that not only resonated with UCT students, but fellow South Africans as well. We all have dreaded test weeks and thousands of words worth of essays, making it so easy to forget that we live in a world filled with every kind of possibility. so why not go out and explore them? How to go about this, you ask? I’m not an expert on getting in tune with one’s social conscience, but societies are always a good start. Go to all your society events (this is me reaching for the stars), talk to those around you and find out what’s really happening, and how you can get involved. Maybe even read the occasional newspaper if you’re feeling particularly politicised. But what do I know? I’m only a fresher.

F*** this, I’ll become a placenta cook Monja Pienaar Astronauts are the coolest. Dolphin trainers aren’t too shabby either. And cowboys? Well who doesn’t want to be a cowboy? At the age of five, for about 90% of us, these were our life ambitions – oh and becoming president, of course. I for one wanted to be all four. I’d get the astronaut thing out of the way first – take a few walks on the moon and get it out of my system. Next, I would train a few dolphins here and there, nothing too wild – no one likes an overachiever. Finally, I would end off with a few terms of presidency and retire a cowboy. Yup, life would be pretty fulfilling. For a select few however, activism and astronomy don’t quite do it. There are people who tell their friends what they do for a living and get the response, “That’s hilarious, but really, what is it that you do?” If you ever happen to find yourself asking that question, you better brace yourself. Here are three of the

strangest jobs you could expect:

Bed bug host With bed bug infestations in London increasing annually by 30%, now is the time to enter this job market. It doesn’t ask much, all it requires is a nap in the bed of someone who has bed bugs. Seeing as though they only show face when they sense carbon dioxide in the night, bed bugs are difficult little buggers (excuse the pun) to get rid of. That’s where you and your trusty carbon dioxide come in – once you’ve got the bugs crawling out of their hiding space, they can be exterminated and voilà, you’re rich! All things considered, you’re basically getting paid to take a snooze – and if you have difficulty getting some shut-eye, you’ve got bed bugs to count until you fall asleep.

A hair boiler There’s nothing like the smell of freshly boiled hair in the morning, I always say. If all else fails, there’s always

hair boiling. The job description involves opening and closing the valves of a large vat for the purpose of boiling and thus curling animal hair. Ever wonder how they get straight weave hair curly? Well now you know! Apparently, hair boilers make around $45 000 a year – that’s about R360 000.

A placenta cook Know of anyone who’s had children lately? Eating their placenta is a great way to replenish your blood supply! Admittedly, it sounds rather nauseating at first; however this ancient Chinese practice is the latest Western craze. Still sceptical? Even the Einsteins of culinary arts are trying it out – does the name Jamie Oliver ring a bell? Not a fan of cooked foods? According to one chef, it’s just as tasty raw – in a smoothie! Yum? So if you’re failing and hate what you’re studying, why stick around? There’s no faster way to make it big than by becoming a placenta cook. Fact.

pun), but put them on a computer screen and match them to the affluence of digital media today The once inseparable bond and you’ve got another shape to between a cup of coffee and the your story. An article titled “OneSunday morning paper has no Third Of World’s Population Using doubt taken a beating since digital Internet, Developing Nations media stepped into the ring. Showing Biggest Gains” posted by With tradition in one corner and Business Times Online stated, “By convenience in the other, it’s been 2015, the UN’s goal is to have 60 a brisk bout at best. percent of the world with internet With technology, convenience access – 50 percent in developing and digital media all working counties and 15 percent in the together, one has to wonder if it least developed countries.” was ever much of a competition to Digital media is more begin with. Optimists, namely our convenient, faster, up-to-date, grandparents in accurate, and this case, would personalised. have you know the UN’s goal is to have It’s the next step that print media Just as 60 percent of the world forward. is still very much handwritten silk with internet access alive and kicking. bulletins were Realists, namely replaced by the the techno geeks, letter press and would argue print media is taking the letter press developed into its last breaths. Is it time to make broadsheets, digital media is now our peace, say our prayers, and also taking the course that history pay our respects to print media? has paved for it. Or has it merely taken a backseat, Print media has come a long reassured and content with the way. It is not dead yet, and it won’t bonds it has built over the years? be kicking the bucket whilst our Print media has had a lengthy generation is still alive. But it is journey to say the least. As early most certainly on the decline. With as 713 AD, the Chinese Tang the rapid change of technology, Dynasty published government media sources have no choice but news known as the Kaiyuan Za to adapt to their environment. Boa, or “Bulletin of the Court” In other words, print media is which they handwrote on silk. like the hosepipe of gardening. Today, or at least as recently as They’re nice to use when you’ve 2005, China is one of the leading got the time to pay a visit to figures in newspaper circulation each flowerbed, but when time – reaching more than 100 million becomes a luxury, you’re going to people daily. water the plants inside and turn on The statistics are undoubtedly the sprinklers for the rest. impressive on paper (pardon the

Student Travel Fund The Department of Student Affairs invites registered students to apply for the Student Travel Fund. The purpose of the fund is to support subsistence and travel overseas to events that will stimulate intellectual, cultural and sporting development of the student and the University. The Student Societies and Organisations Committee is requesting applications for events and conferences taking place between June 2013 and November 2013. Students may also apply for retrospective funding for events that have taken place in 2013.

Closing Date for Applications is 09 May 2013 For more information or to get an application form contact: Shannon.Bernhardt@uct.ac.za 021 650 5047

sport

V72 E4 – 2 APRIL 2013

SPORTS BITES Fernando and the fatfryer

YOUR UCT SPORT UCT Athletics Club’s die-hard Two Oceans runners

Chelsea football club has been left powerless despite winning a legal battle to have a billboard removed that poked fun at their striker, Fernando Torres. UK bookmaker Paddy Power has since placed an electronic version of the advertisement on a parked van outside Stamford Bridge, that suggests Torres should give up football to work in a burger van, being the only place where he can find “the onion bag”. - metro.co.uk

Lyon advisor’s sexist remark Former French football coach and player Bernard Lacombe has shown his wisdom as a “Special Advisor” to the Lyon Football Club, telling a female caller on a radio show to “get back to cooking”. In response to criticism of French international Karim Benzema, Lascombe said that he did not want to discuss football with women. His comments will be especially well-received amongst Lyon’s all-conquering ladies’ team, who have won the French league title for the past six seasons and the Women’s Champions League for the past two. - Offthepost.info

Image:Matthew Henshall

Standing left to right: Viv Loseby – Family domination x1 (H); UCT athlete; Josh “in the wars” Pein (H); Thabang “so close” Letheo (H); Jess “making the boys look bad” Pollock (H); Rob “don’t drink and enter Ultras” Byrne (U); Tom Nivin (H) & Lwazi Pambuka (H) – The Mechanics; Richard “100%” Burman (H); Alvaro Giuricich (H); Robin “the German machine” Son (T); William “living legend” Robinson (U). Taking a knee: Mike Loseby – Family domination x2 (H); Nolan “I train twice a day” Steele (H); Coach Dion – Cape Town trail guru (T); Matthew “make it happen” Henshall (H); Michael McLaggan – the king of middle distance (H). Key: H = Half Marathon, T = Trail Run, U = Ultra Marathon.

Tiger back where he belongs

Busted ring, in the ring Former WWE wrestling star X-Pac has taken suffering for his sport to a whole new level after tearing his anus during a bout. X-Pac, birth name Sean Waltman, was admitted to hospital after a haphazard performance of his signature “Bronco Buster” move – where he flies across the ring before straddling his adversary around the face. Unfortunately, his opponent moved a little too soon resulting in X soon finding himself wrapped around the buckles on the ring post. His opponent then struck him over the head with a chair, just to add insult to injury. - metro.co.uk

Valentine vengeance? We all know about the allegations against Oscar Pistorius for his actions on Valentine’s Day, but it seems that another sports star was also allegedly in a fit of rage on the same day. Former world No.1 tennis player Jennifer Capriati has been charged by police after she allegedly yelled and punched her ex-boyfriend on Valentine’s Day while he was working out at a gym. The 36-year-old two-time Australian Open champion is facing stalking and battery charges over her apparent crimes. - Foxsports.com.au

Rob Byrne

2013 Hugh Van Niekerk

he rise and disgraceful fall of sport stars has not been uncommon in my lifetime. One never, however, finds a star that is able to regain their position at the top of the food-chain following their fall from grace. Did I say “never”? Perhaps “very rarely” is more appropriate after Tiger Woods has defied the odds and done just that. The sporting codes are littered with disgraced heroes, exposed under the spotlight only their superb abilities are capable of producing. Cricket had Hansie; the once golden boy of South Africa. Cycling had Lance; disgraced seven-time Tour de France champion. It seems Woods has made history in regaining his number one spot. In 2010, he experienced one of the greatest falls in sporting history after he was found to be having multiple affairs. The once untouchable Tiger lost millions in sponsorship and relinquished his number one position which he had held for so long. I watched in disbelief as a man who had over the years become the epitome of success, remorsefully admitting to the charges and booking himself into rehab. I’m sure I was not alone as I disappointedly thought, “Well, there goes another one.” Little did I know that three years later I would see Tiger regain his position at the top of the golfing table with back-toback emphatic wins, the latest at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. In no way do I condone Tiger’s

actions back in 2010, nor do I believe that his resurgent rise to form cancels out the wrongs of his past. However, to simply ignore the effort that has gone into this colossal comeback would be a crime in itself. Many a naïve person may have expected a comeback, suggesting that Tiger’s skills were not hampered in any way in his fall from glory, and all that was needed was a couple of sessions at the driving range. But that’s just it – Tiger’s biggest skill was affected, namely his mental ability. Any sportsman will tell you that sport is 80% mental and 20% physical. The mind is a powerful muscle and when you get that right, it’s amazing how many other muscles start to follow suit. But get it wrong and what awaits you is a graveyard for once talented sportsmen who possibly neglected their most fundamental asset: the mind. When one considers this, Tiger’s recovery to the top is so much more than a sporting achievement – it is a life lesson. The extent of mental strength and training that must have gone into this rapid comeback is unfathomable. Who’s to say how long Tiger will remain at the top? Perhaps he will be back down after the next tournament, but to me that’s not what really matters. What matters is regardless of what people said or thought about him, he defied the odds and returned to where he belongs - the top. “Life’s not about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.” He was hit pretty hard, yet he is still moving forward.

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sport

White line fever

SPORTS SHORTS Rob Byrne

Water Polo The 2013 Jaboolie season saw records being set for attendance at UCT’s weekly social water polo tournament. The season finished on a high with Power Rangers triumphing out of the twelve sides that entered. Although a bit serious at times, they had a great team vibe and won the tournament quite convincingly with a 7-2 victory against the Black Ties in the final. The season was a huge success – attracting players and spectators alike, the dance floor in particular being an interesting sight with clothing not only being optional, but discouraged. Profits from the event will be put towards much needed equipment, coaching

ince Gordon Igesund has taken over the reins of Bafana Bafana, there has been a distinct improvement in the side’s playing. However, with recent reports suggesting that Igesund is already planning to fly to Brazil to inspect the World Cup facilities, is such an early move from our national coach wise? I say yes. It shows signs of the confidence that he has in Bafana’s abilities to reach the prestigious tournament. After all, South Africa has moved up 25 places in the FIFA rankings after the AFCON on home soil, and there is renewed hope in the country that was lost under Pitso Mosimane’s tenure. After the two draws against Ethiopia and Botswana under Mosimane, the road to Brazil looked very gloomy and it seemed our hopes of qualifying for Brazil 2014 were nearly over, but the resurgence of Bafana with Igesund at their side has created a new sense of hope.

Rob Byrne Sports Editor

Image: Nick Louw SECOND PLACE FINISH: UCT Judo’s USSA Competitors. Back row: Danny De Klerk, Deon De Villiers, Tsepo Nashwa (Manager), Richard Welsh, Nico Louw (Coach). Front: David Lutrin, Kai Coetzee, Mikhaila Job. fees and pool time. The event has been successful in attracting both sponsors and newcomers to water polo, one of UCT’s best performing sports clubs.

Martial Arts On Friday March 15th, UCT’s 2013 Martial Arts Camp brought together members from the different disciplines of Tai Chi, Aekido and Tae Kwondo. The clubs came together at Geelbeck, in the West Coast National Park for a weekend of intense martial arts practice. The highlight for many members was an early morning Tai Chi session from Coach Peter Williamson. “It felt like torture at first, doing Tai Chi in the dark, but as the sun rose, you start to realise how beautiful nature is...I was glad I woke up that early; I was peaceful. It changed my life,” Nkanyiso commented. Michelle was similarly awestruck, saying, “It was an other-worldly experience. It was lovely to get out of the city

for a weekend to stretch the limbs with friendly, down-to-earth people all there to find some peace in the moving meditation.” The Martial Arts Camp was thus a successful adventure in “cross pollination” between the disciplines.

Netball The pre-season form of UCT Netball club is offering encouraging signs for the forthcoming season, after the club won seven of its ten games in a friendly tournament in Belville on March 16th. UCT’s standout performances came from Nicole Hamman in the A squad and Micaela Peters for the C team, in a tournament that featured both male and female opposition. Next up for UCT Netball is a tournament on April 5th featuring the top eight Western Province clubs, followed by the league starting in late April.

With contributions from Nicholas Walker, Aditi Hunma, Nico Louw and Simon Peters.

Brazil 2014: Igesund jumping the gun? Thabang Letheo

My Ultra Encounter

Judo UCT secured an impressive second place in the inter-varsity team event, the USSA Judo Championships held at Wits University on March 21st to March 24th. Despite losing out narrowly to the hosts Wits, who took gold, UCT also claimed the “Best Team Spirit” trophy and did manage to get one over local rivals, CPUT, who took the bronze medal. There were some outstanding individual performances from UCT competitors, notably Nico Louw, who came first in the U/73 kg and second in the U/81 kg open categories, in the process earning USSA selection at the World Student Games to be held in Kazan, Russia in July and at the FASO games, which will be held in Burkina Faso in September. Danny De Klerk picked up the “Most Promising Male” award with two second place finishes in the U/66 kg and open U/66 kg categories respectively, while Mikhala Job also impressed. UCT managed to secure eight medals in total.

V72 E4 - 2 APRIL 2013

After the thrilling 2-0 win against the Central African Republic (CAR) where Bafana outplayed their opponents in all departments, the road to Brazil looks a bit brighter. If Bafana can prevail in their remaining games away from home in June against CAR and dangerous group leader, Ethiopia, whilst ensuring a victory against Botswana on home soil in September, the 2014 World Cup will certainly be a whisker away. Ever since the AFCON, Igesund has created a new side, with Dean Furman and Reneilwe Letsholonyane controlling the midfield and the speedy Thuso Phala operating on the wing, assisted by wingbacks such as Anele Ngcongca and the long-range specialist Thabo Matlaba. Teko Modise and Katlego Mphela have been dropped and have made way for hungrier, more determined players. Current captain Itumeleng Khune is surely one of the best goalkeepers on the continent - his amazing shot-stopping ability and distribution ranking is amongst the best in the world. Bafana’s AFCON campaign was their most successful since the third-

place finish in 2000 and a coming of age for some of the squad. May Mahlangu is finally showing the form that elevated him to Sweden’s Player of the Year in 2011 and Bafana have finally found a striker who has the ability to score on a regular basis in Lehlohonolo Majoro. Bernard Parker’s versatility is an advantage going forward and the return of Morgan Gould is a massive boost as he will certainly strengthen our leaky defence. With such a promising squad at his disposal, Igesund is totally justified in planning ahead for the 2014 World Cup. The team is not perfect, but looking at what the coach has done in only six months, one can only wonder what he can do with more time and less pressure. What has impressed me about our coach is that he has faith in Bafana; he believes in our players and he even promises that our national team will get better and grow from strength to strength as the fans get behind the team. The road to Brazil certainly looks brighter than it did a few months ago.

unning. I never used to understand people who wanted to do it for more than ten minutes, let alone five hours. Yet yesterday, amongst the thousands of lubed up, short shorts-wearing nutters, there I was – at the Newlands starting line at 6.30 in the morning, ready to endure 56kms all in the name of, well, fun, I guess. I too was heavily lubed (chafing is no small issue) and donning the shortest of shorts I owned – I’d made the full transition into this world – now I just needed to cross the finish line. A few kilometres down and I was feeling good, taking it easy at the start as advised, and noting that the allegedly most “beautiful” marathon in the world even has it’s black spots, namely Wynberg. I couldn’t help but wonder if my international competitors thought they’d taken a wrong turn. Then again, I suppose it’s the most direct way to get to the first ocean of the two. Bowel movements aside (I’ll spare you the details), things were easy as the race is flat as you head out towards Muizenberg. I would go as far as saying it was even pleasurable up to just before the 30km mark, where any Oceans veterans will know, is where the race really begins as you start the ascent to Chapman’s Peak Drive. Although notorious amongst competitors for its toughness, it’s not a patch on the later hill at Constantia Nek that finishes off many a weary athlete. Reaching the summit of Chappies was quite a relief nevertheless, and psychologically you tell yourself that you’ve crossed the first of two major challenges in the race. You could get a rub-

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down or some taping done at the top by some not-so unattractive helpers. I’m not sure how many were in need of genuine treatment, after all, this is a predominantly male race with only 28% of the field being women. Following the descent into Hout Bay, runners start the climb to Constantia Nek, which really is the make or break of the race – once you’ve conquered it you’re basically home and dry, with about 10km left. I was still feeling surprisingly good at this stage and managed to overtake a number of people going up the hill, spurred on by a number of “go UCT!” chants. It’s amazing how much a little bit of enthusiasm from spectators helps you on your way. I thought I was home and dry until we got onto the M3 and faced a slight incline that felt like scaling Everest – with a number of competitors forced to walk agonisingly close to the finish. I plodded on and managed to get to the end with what felt like, to me, a sprint finish. However, I’m sure to the gallery of spectators it looked quite different. So there I was, 56kms down, medal in hand after the best part of five-and-a-half hours running. The old me would have been proud, but nevertheless wondering why the hell I did it. And you know what? I still don’t really know why I ran the race, although just to say you have is a pretty good feeling.

Vettel’s pedal to the metal

“We can now count Vettel as one of the most ruthlessly single-minded drivers the cacophonous old circus has ever seen.” The Guardian’s F1 correspondent Paul Weaver calls it like it is. “Don’t be silly Seb” Christian Horner tried to reel in the loosecannon that is Sebastian Vettel over the team radio. “But Seb made his own decision today and will have protection as usual and that is the way it goes.” Mark Webber following Sebastian

Vettel’s controversial pass at the Malaysian Grand Prix last Sunday. “I should have behaved today. I made a big mistake. It’s not a victory I am proud of. It should have been Mark’s.” Vettel with his tail between his legs after directly disobeying team orders. “Every team wants the problem of having drivers fighting for a win. They don’t want pussycats.” Former F1-driver David Coulthard’s gives an alternative view steeped in physical driving experience.

Sport VARSITY

FIXTURES Varsity Cup Rugby Final

WP Club Rugby Super League A

TUKS VS STELLENBOSCH

UCT VS BELHAR

MONDAY, APRIL 8th, 7.00pm

SATURDAY, APRIL 13th, TBC

DANIE CRAVEN STAND, STELLENBOSCH

THE GREEN MILE

UCT rowers dominate USSA again Jonathan van Rensburg

CT Rowing Club retained its title as USSA Rowing Sprints Regatta Champions at the Vanderkloof Dam in the Northern Cape over the vacation. Under unusually calm conditions allowing for an incredibly competitive weekend of racing, UCT scooped the accolades for both the men’s and women’s sections, thereby topping the pile of the eight competing universities to be named overall winners of the regatta, for the second consecutive year.

The women posted a fantastic set of results for the weekend. The Men’s A crews led the way, winning the Coxed and Coxless Fours against Olympic competition from Tuks. In the final race of the day, a clash of boats saw the umpires adjudicating a re-race as necessary which pitted UCT against Tuks for the gold medal. The head-to-head race was hotly contested over the full 1km stretch with neither crew gaining an advantage until the last 100m, where Tuks snuck past the Ikeys rowers at the end. On the men’s side in the B Division, UCT won the Coxless Pairs, Coxless Fours and Singles races after a tough round of qualifiers to make the finals. The premier B-division race, the Coxed Eights, saw UCT’s “Pelican Crew” just manage to beat Tuks at the finish with barely a metre to spare, thereby continuing their unbeaten streak since the Boat Races in September 2012. This concluded a solid performance for the weekend on the men’s side, further bolstered by a host of colours awards: Evan Jackson, William Millat, William Cahill

Images: Lesley Hutchins STROKING TO VICTORY: UCT’s Women’s A Crew take the lead in the Northern Cape and Matthew Shaw attained their National Students Half Colours, and National Students Full Colours were awarded to Cameron Hoey, Marcus Crowther, Chase Hyde, Gordon Dodge and Leo Davis. The women posted a fantastic set of results for the weekend, with medals coming in from novice to national level rowers. UCT took gold in the Coxless Pairs, Coxless Fours and Doubles races in the B Division, also claiming a silver medal behind UJ in the Coxed Eights. One of the highlights of the

weekend was the Novice Singles race where the UCT Novice girls, with only a month of rowing experience behind them, managed to make the finals and contend for the podium positions. The Women’s A Division was riddled with national and even Olympic quality competition, but UCT prevailed with gold in a number of events. The Eights race proved to be a display of depth and dominance as the UCT crew stroked by Catherine Starke took first place well clear of the Tuks and

VICTORIOUS: UCT Rowing Club display their USSA Sprint title. UJ boats. These results saw UCT win the women’s section seven points ahead of UJ. National Students Half Colours were awarded to Abby Davidson, Jaime Davidson and Jenna Bleloch, with Catherine Starke receiving National Students Full Colours. By winning the Sprints Regatta,

the UCT Rowing Club remains in a strong position to defend its title as the top university rowing club in South Africa for another year. April brings to a close the sprint season with the South African Senior Championships to be held in Johannesburg, and thereafter the Boat Races await in September.

Water polo stars take on USA at Hillcrest Nicholas Walker Three UCT students had the ultimate honour of representing an SA men’s water polo team in a closely fought tie against the USA Olympic side on Saturday, March 23rd. The exhibition match was part of the 25th annual SA Master’s Tournament at a quarry at Hillcrest Wine Estate, north of Cape Town. With a series of pools being demarcated with lane ropes and goals in a large quarry, the UCT water polo club was also invited to play their two first teams against their arch rivals Stellenbosch, as

curtain raisers to the tournament on the Friday afternoon and evening. The international tie saw all three UCT players form part of the starting seven facing the USA. Christopher Baker started as hole marker (central defender), Nicholas Hock started on the right wing and Devon Card (SACS old boys club player) started in the hole. The game was closely contested all the way through; SA initially going down 1-0 and then clawing their way back to a 2-1 lead through goals by UCT’s Hock and Pierre Le Roux in the first chukka. During the course of the match, Card scored from the hole and Baker played an essential

role by marking internationally renowned US hole man Ryan Bailey superbly. Unfortunately, the strength and experience of the US team proved too much for the amateur SA side

The international tie saw all three UCT players form part of the starting seven facing the USA. who eventually succumbed to a close 8-6 defeat. Despite losing the match, the day was a victory for all involved as SA showed their strength against a powerful USA team.

Before the main fixture, Friday saw the men’s and women’s water polo 1st teams of UCT play Maties. Both matches were closely contested with the ladies losing narrowly 5-7 while the men continued their three year undefeated rein over Maties, winning 9-6. UCT’s women showed a lot of character, coming back to 4-4 after being 4-1 down. With the young talent in their team, they will no doubt give Maties more of a challenge in the up-and-coming Intervarsity. The men's side have had a great first term of polo, finishing

2nd in the Western Province 1st Division - this comfortable victory as evidence. UCT was well represented at the event, which was no surprise considering the Masters Tournament is known for the most alcohol consumed per head at any sporting event in SA. Hopefully the innovative idea of water polo being able to be played in any large body of water will grow the sport. It has encouraged the UCT Water Polo Club to look into sectioning off a pool in the dam on campus to create a Colosseum sporting atmosphere for the summer, when the water is warmer.