Pushed to the side of the road... and then the tow truck leaves... Surviving an emotional wreck.
A collection of three Very Simple Guides Photo Meditations
by Todd Vogel
Your arms and legs all work. Not so sure about your heart though. It’s a new day and you’ve got to get through it. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Where do I start? Before you leave the scene and begin to trudge down the road, pause - and take your sense of humor out of the glove box - sooner or later you’re going to need it.
Getting back up
before you have to start feeding the meter.
There really isn’t any choice
None of this is new. You already know much of it. The trick is...
Three aspects:
The sky has fallen (Chicken Little was right)
The ant’s eye view of the world.
Learn the lessons, leave the rest.
This section has lots of pictures. Use them as much as the words maybe more.
The Sky has fallen I
Boom! It doesn’t matter if you saw the truck coming - or not. If you were jaywalking or standing on the sidewalk. Not when have tread marks running up your back.
The sky has fallen II The first instinct is to watch the truck as it keeps on driving away. You wait for the brake lights to come on even though it is much too late.
The sky has fallen III Pretty soon you are all alone, VERY alone.
The ant’s eye view I With your face in the dirt it seems that is all there is.
Ants eye view II The pain alternates with anger and fear further diminishing your view.
Ant’s eye view III Finally a voice comes through “Hey, are you all right?” What a silly question.
Take a deep breath. lift your head Turn the page.
Learn the lesson - leave the rest I You are stronger than you think. And if you lie in the street any longer you are going to have to put money in the parking meter.
Learn the lesson II Despite everything, you can not deny the beauty of the universe forever.
Leave the rest III The best revenge is getting your joy back.
But there will be moments when all this is erased when your disease unleashes one of its most powerful weapons...
Shame
It wants to eat your soul - nothing less.
Shame is your dis-ease’s most powerful weapon. It has the power to stop your heart.
There is nothing new here. You know most of it.
Three notions
The monster that lurks deep down inside.
What it does
Freedom through forgiveness (of yourself)
This chapter has lots of pictures. There is no shame in any of them.
Deep Down Inside I Always there in deep darkness, it lies ready to pounce and use its claws to tear you apart.
Deep Down inside II Its origins lie in the time before memory reinforced throughout our uncertain upbringing.
Deep Down Inside III At its fingertips a catalogue of all the thoughts and deeds we are convinced were wrong. All the things we want to erase.
What Shame does I With every day it reminds you of the past telling you you are trapped because you are flawed.
What Shame does II It can read your mind second guess your motives and tell you what others must be thinking.
What Shame does III It lies. With the skill of a sadistic interrogator it makes us believe that good is bad. Convincing us that we are wrong.
Take a deep breath. Don’t believe a word of it. Turn the page.
Freedom through forgiveness. At first - the idea that you are not unique alone, different, and bad is impossible to accept.
Freedom through forgiveness Discovering the things we hate in ourselves are merely manifestations of our humanity.
Freedom through forgiveness III Accepting that you can be loved gives you the courage to embrace yourself. Knowing the peace love brings can allow you to silence the shame.
Easy to say, but where do I start?
It’s as though you’ve been transported to a fun house where the mirrors show a distorted vision. where the floors slant and doors open in unexpected directions. The first thing to do is to stop staring in those mirrors.
EGO
Becoming Right Sized yet another very simple guide.
This has been a problem. It can be adjusted .
There is nothing new here You already know much of it
Three notions:
The arrogant doormat syndrome.
Getting over it. (Whatever)
Becoming balanced.
This section has lots of pictures. They show a world much bigger than you one you can be proud to be a resident of.
Arrogant doormat I A term often used in twelve step rooms to describe our past condition. On one hand, prideful on the other filled with fear and low self-esteem It gets us into all sorts of trouble.
Arrogant doormat II This is a very old behavior Learned as a child, honed in adolescence until now, never outgrown. Our fears and insecurities keep us on the defensive. Sometimes they prevent us from asking for help.
Arrogant doormat III Relationships are difficult when you can’t be who you really are. Instead, your energy is spent trying to be what you think others want you to be. Often you are wrong.
Getting over it I Fortunately this is a loving process you must find the positives and refrain from past behavior of beating your self up.
Getting over it II This takes some time and connecting with people who do not agree with your negative view of yourself. Let yourself be wrong about this and other things.
Getting over it III Establish appropriate boundaries. Teach family and friends your new role. Leave your excess baggage on the street. Someone will take it.
Take a deep breath. Things are different now. Turn the page.
Becoming balanced I Learn to see toxic clouds before they envelope. Politely decline invitations to join the circus.
Becoming balanced II Drama be gone! Your life does not need to be a bad soap opera. Hand the shit-stirrers in your life a wooden spoon and suggest they use their own kitchen.
Becoming balanced III Understand you are enough. Enough will provide all that you need with plenty left over for those you love.
Text and photos copyright by Todd Vogel 2010 - all rights reserved. Other books, ecards and more at
http://odatbooks.com
Written for the survivors of emotional trainwrecks, this volume includes three chapters. Getting Back up, Shame, and Ego, becoming right sized. Maybe it will help a little.