SELCARE AFTER DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

BY MOIRAR REVEILLE

Most of us have brushed shoulders with trauma and forgot about it almost the same second we met it. Sadly, others have known it much deeply to an extent we wish not to know anything in life, not even that which we love

Domestic abuse has done that for many people What’s worse? It chose people that we care about to launch its missiles at us, leaving us distraught and unbelieving of nothing, not even ourselves anymore But there is hope Trauma can vaporize what we knew about ourselves but it also offers us a chance to properly exercise self-care in our journey towards healing This road is tough but self-care is how we slowly get there as it offers us different methods of healing by taking our broken pieces and making a mosaic of hope.

Here are some tips that have proven effective for other survivors of trauma and abuse:

Seek Help

One thing that domestic abuse does is to convince us that we are to blame for what the abuser did to us and so we stew in shame and self-blame until it becomes our reality This lie keeps us from loving and taking care of ourselves and we often become our own abusers out of self-loathing and neglect I need you to understand that you are worthy of compassion and love and you need to give it to yourself You can start by seeking help from a professional as an act of loving yourself. Forget about feeling like a burden and contact those that care about you and let them know that you need help. You are not being too much; you are taking care of yourself and your loved ones will be happy you reached out

What is the one thing that you could do for yourself right now that you would consider loving? This is a question I want you to ask yourself everyday then answer it both in words and actions

These little gestures go a long way to make you feel whole just like a love gesture from someone you love would

Try Art Therapy

Trauma has a way of disintegrating one from reality to the extent of not being able to express themselves fully If you cannot get what you feel and think out through words, try other channels of creativity such as writing, painting, drawing, singing or writing music, arts and crafts among others This is one way to get to understand your pain and cope with it, giving it a label where it once felt murky and blurry. Not only will it help you release some of the trauma, it will also exercise your brain to look for ways to help you get better instead of retreating further to itself. Art therapy has been found to be really effective among survivors with PTSD which has helped them to deal with their pain head on, preventing them from imploding Going for therapy is useful, but diving into creativity offers additional healing that only its kind can give

Practice Positive Affirmations

The self-critic is loudest in survivors of abuse and it often causes them to self-sabotage even when they’re not aware of it We can counter this by speaking positivity to the subconscious mind with authority. Practicing positive affirmations daily can rewire your brain and douse the inner critic. It will also remind you of your strength and resilience and other attributes you don’t celebrate. Create positive affirmations for every negative thought that causes you to ruminate over your insecurities or shortcomings For example, if you were told by your abuser that you will never amount to anything, you could try “I am capable and enough” This will help you build yourself esteem by subconsciously dealing with your self- sabotaging habits So create those affirmations today

Do Physical Exercise

While you find an outlet for your emotions through creativity, a physical outlet is also important Find a sport or exercise you love and indulge in it Join a dance class if you are into dancing or go to a gym and turn that negative energy into achieving your mental and body goals Physical activity is a form of expression in itself so be sure to partake in those that you love You can listen to music or affirmations while at it to engage the mind as well and enjoy yourself Consider this as an act of selflove and care

Practice Breathing Exercises

Breathing exercises can help us stay grounded and in touch with reality. This helps us deal with our overthinking and how we react to possible threats and triggers. Take deep breathes and learn how to meditate in order to establish a state of calmness. Every time you feel overwhelmed by emotions or thoughts, take deep breathes and meditate to bring yourself to a state of calmness and in touch with reality instead of dissociating

Trauma from domestic abuse can be dealt with and survivors do bounce back to full health, mentally and physically One thing we need to understand is that self-care is not a luxury we should avoid; it is a necessity we should have and give to ourselves The above tips will remind you of this anytime you feel unworthy of love and care The journey to healing is a marathon, so don’t be upset when you keep falling off the wagon of self-care from time to time What matters is that you keep coming back and trying to love yourself, one more time until it is natural for you You got this!

AUTHOR VERONICA SUTHERLAND

TALKING DAILY WITH GOD:

A 30-DAY CHALLENGE TO DEVELOP THE DISCIPLINE OF DAILY PRAYER

PURCHASE THE BOOK

Veronica Sutherland

WHAT IS THE BOOK ABOUT?

Are you yearning a victorious prayer life? Are you ready to move to another level in your walk with God?

Join us on a 30-day challenge to develop the habit of talking to and hearing from God each day so that you can thoroughly satisfy that longing in your heart that only The Most High God can fill. Learn about the benefits of prayer, how to pray, how to listen to God, how God speaks to us and much more Use this tool to be intentional about finding time to be with God and how you use the time spent with Him.

Contact Veronica

https://www veronicavsutherland com

@veesutherland https://www.youtube.com/c/

VeronicaSutherlandOcna

AUTHOR COLETTE SCHAFER