VL - Issue 19 - February 2016

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE

Quarterly Publication | Issue 1 2016

A Publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries

DREAM

An Interview with Tanya Crevier

Unharmed by the Fire

RESISTING

THE URGE TO GET EVEN

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I WAS IN

PRISON And You Visited Me.

Matthew 25:36

SEND VICTORIOUS LIVING TO A PRISON INMATE ARE YOU AN INMATE WHO NEEDS ENCOURAGEMENT? Our Prison Correspondence Team is here for you!

Every day, inmates reach out to KOJM through letters asking for prayers and encouragement as well as discipleship opportunities to help them grow in their faith.

Every inmate who contacts KOJM receives in-depth monthly devotionals from Kristi, personal letters from KOJM’s correspondence team, and a quarterly copy of Victorious Living.

BECOME A PART OF OUR VICTORIOUS LIVING FAMILY TODAY! WRITE TO:

KOJ MINISTRIES PRISON CORRESPONDENCE OUTREACH PO Box 328 Starke, FL 32091

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FROM THE PUBLISHER

Light over the Darkness Prior to every quarterly publication of Victorious Living, the contributors always ask, “Kristi, what’s the theme of this particular issue?”

Now, I know my response is not a typical magazine editor/publisher’s response, but I always tell them, “Write about your struggles and your victories and what God is teaching you right now. Write what is fresh within you.”

I know that if people contribute from the heart, as opposed to writing on a designated theme, the magazine will be powerful and chockfull of wisdom. And I am right. It happens every time—so much so that I can’t help but stop, smile, and give thanks to God as I witness each issue coming together in the most beautiful way. Linda Cubbedge nails it on the head in her article “Only God,” because only God could assemble articles packed with truth and words of encouragement, hope, and deliverance from so many random places and different people into a common theme. He is always faithful.

For me, the articles in this issue are so timely.

If for no one else, they are for me—to encourage my heart and bring the peace, wisdom, and strength I need to deal with an unusual, painful, and truly life-and-death circumstance. No, my life wasn’t in the balance, but the life of a dear friend and sister in Christ who is battling mental disease, was. I have never witnessed such pain and confusion, such fear and anxiety. It broke my heart to witness my friend being tossed to and fro by a force so powerful and dark.

But in the midst of the pain and sadness, I witnessed other beautiful things that will stick with me forever. First of all, I saw the power God’s Word has to overcome the powers of darkness that sought to destroy my friend. As darkness assaulted her mind, the Lord led me to pray aloud scriptures over her. With each verse, I watched as fear visibly began to subside and peace overshadowed her. This was not the power of medication taking effect. No! This was the power of God, winning a supernatural war being waged against her.

I’ve read and written so many articles about the power of God’s Word, but God blessed me with the opportunity to see it firsthand. Because of Him and our choice to go to His Word in the midst of our crisis and give a sacrifice of praise, my friend overcame her moment of disillusionment

Publisher/Editor Kristi Overton Johnson

and rested throughout the night.

Another beautiful experience was watching my friend minister in her moments of clarity at the facility where she had temporarily admitted herself. Light shone through her as she encouraged other patients to keep going to the Word and to keep their eyes focused on God. She even literally gave the shirt off her back to a tiny, elderly Italian woman. As this woman scooted by in my friend’s Gator sweatshirt, my friend explained that the woman didn’t have any family or material items and was cold in the thin hospital gown. So she met the woman’s need, right there in the midst of her own place of pain.

How cool is that? My friend didn’t have much to give, but she gave what she had.

Moments of beauty like this remind me that the power of God can shine through us no matter where we are or what we are going through.

I also witnessed beauty in the power of love, shown through the tender acts of other sisters in Christ who are committed to bear the burden of our friend. With their help, my friend will not only make it, but she will be victorious. It may take a moment-by-moment approach, but with God’s help and the help of her friends, she will not fall under the weight of her burden.

Not only did I see God work in my friend’s life during this trial, I saw Him work in my own life. God’s power infused me with indescribable strength to counsel my friend, to be by her side, and to write and edit this issue in the midst of the chaos and the pain of my own heart. He accomplished this magazine; He gave me words I needed and even time that wasn’t there in the natural. I learned that my responsibility each and every day is simply to be where God leads me to be and to love those He has placed in my life.

When I do that, He takes care of everything else.

Have you met God? Do you know how amazing and trustworthy and powerful He is? If not, you are about to find out! In the articles that follow, you will meet the God who is real, the only God who is able to see you through your darkest moments, calm your mind, and redeem your every loss. He can give you power to move forward, wisdom to make changes, confidence to step out, and strength to open up. He is the only One who will never fail you!

Editor Rachel F. Overton Contributors George Beasley Roy A. Borges Becky Coursen Tanya Crevier Linda Cubbedge Kristi Dews Dale Johnny Kristi Overton Johnson Nate Miller Rick Renner William Stewart Steele Joan Tyson Sheryl Waldner Mike Waters Jeremy West Lindy Williams Creative Director/Graphic Design Whispering Dog Design, Inc. Amy Zackowski amy@whisperingdog.com Partnership Support victoriousliving@kojministries.org Cover Photography Christy Cabe Photography Christy Cabe Ron Kuntz Todd McLennan Nan Dickson VICTORIOUS LIVING ADMINISTRATION/DONATIONS PO Box 120951 Clermont, FL 34712-0951 352.478.2098 • fax 888.837.9153 ALL INMATE CORRESPONDENCE Victorious Living Prison Outreach PO Box 328 Starke, FL 32091 Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Scripture marked nkjv is taken from the New King James Version®, copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson. Scripture marked ESV is taken from the English Standard Version, copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Scripture marked MSG is taken from The Message, copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. All scripture versions are used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

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Table of Contents

Issue 1 2016

6 Dock Your Ship | Kristi Overton Johnson

7 Truths from “Dock Your Ship” | Kristi Overton Johnson 8 Tammy’s Miracle | William Stewart Steele 9 Trust Fall | Excerpt from KOJM Monthly Inmate Devotion

Are you experiencing victorious living?

Is your life filled with

purpose, love, joy, and peace?

Do you have

hope for your future?

Forgiveness for your past?

Strength for your tomorrow?

Right now you might be thinking, “Are you kidding me? Joy, peace, purpose? Worth, strength, forgiveness? I’ll never have those things! Look at where I am! Look at what I’ve been through. Look at what I’ve done.

Look at what has been done to me.”

Friend, right now, no matter what your past

or present, all of these things can be yours. You can have peace that passes all understanding, joy in the

midst of hardship, love and acceptance despite your failures, forgiveness, and a fresh start. Your life can have purpose.

It doesn’t matter if you are sitting in a mansion or in a jail cell or somewhere in between, a victorious life can be

yours TodaY!

How? Through a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

If you do not currently have a relationship with God, begin one right now. Romans 10:8–10 nkjv explains how: “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart…that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

As you accept what Christ has done for you and put your faith in Him alone for salvation, you are then free to have a relationship with God and experience His peace, power, presence, and love. You don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love and forgiveness. It’s yours for the asking!

After you’ve received this free gift of salvation, guess what? You are then able to step into the life of victory Christ died to give you—an abundant life of peace, joy, worth, love, and purpose. As you grow in your relationship with Him through studying and applying the Word of God and by trusting Him, these things are released in your daily life.

Will you pray with me right now and receive all that God intends for you?

Dear Lord, I confess that I am a sinner in need of salvation. I thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to save me from my sins. Thank You that He laid down His life for me so that I could have a new life in Him. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. I now give my life, my past, and my future to You. Guide my steps and speak to my heart, Lord.

Amen

10 Freedom for the Nine | Sheryl Waldner

11 Taking Down the Wall | Lindy Williams 12 Unharmed by the Fire | Joan Tyson 13 A Lesson from a Chicken Bone | Roy A. Borges 14 Moving Forward in Tough Times | Kristi Overton Johnson 15 Dorm-Room Daffodils | Becky Coursen 16 Dream: An Interview with Tanya Crevier

19 A Second Chance | Tanya Crevier

20 Resisting the Urge to Get Even | Rick Renner 22 A Real Sinner’s Prayer | Jeremy West 23 When My Spirit Grows Faint | Kristi Dews Dale 24 Little Johnny | Johnny 25 Reader Testimony and Response 26 KOJ Ministries Update 27 Only God | Linda Cubbedge 28 Chest Deep | Nate Miller 29 The Lost Is Found | Kristi Overton Johnson 29 Waging War | George Beasley 30 Contributor List

Share Your Story!

Do you have a story of victory? Share it with our readers!

Your story has the power to transform lives and bring much needed hope. Here are the guidelines: • Submissions are not guaranteed to be included in the magazine.

• Submission is acknowledgment of your granting KOJM and Victorious Living publication rights to produce your submission in this magazine and other ministry publications.

• Photos submitted must have photographer’s and each photographed subjects’ consent of use. Photographer’s name must be included. Hard copies of photographs will not be returned.

• Victorious Living does not pay for submissions.

• Submissions should be a maximum of 800 words and are subject to editing.

• Mail submissions to: Victorious Living, PO Box 120951, Clermont, FL 34712-0951; or submit online at kojministries.org.

• Victorious Living is a free quarterly publication distributed to KOJ Ministries partners, at various distribution locations, and within the prison system.

Victorious Living

MISSION

The purpose of Victorious Living is to declare freedom for the captive through true testimonials of God’s grace, love, and power in the lives of everyday people. A captive is anyone enslaved to their circumstances, relationships, thought patterns, habits, or emotions. A captive can be incarcerated or living in a free society. They can be of any age,

gender, race, and socio-economic background.

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REFRESH YOUR SOUL

Dock Your Ship

by Kristi Overton Johnson

DON’T DESPAIR. WITH THE LORD’S HELP, YOUR SHIP CAN SAIL AGAIN IN MAGNIFICENT BEAUTY, INTO TERRITORIES YOU NEVER DREAMED OF. GOD IS IN THE RESTORATION BUSINESS, AND HE IS WILLING AND ABLE TO MAKE EVERY PART OF YOU WHOLE.

Ever feel like you’ve made such a mess of things that there is no hope of ever getting back on track? I sure have, both in my personal life and in the ministry God has entrusted to me.

Several years ago, I came to a place in my ministry where I was at my wits’ end. I had shed many tears and spent much time on my knees, seeking the Lord’s will. One night during this distressing time, I had a vivid dream. Now, dreams aren’t new to me. I dream most nights.

But usually my dreams are bizarre, randomly piecing together people and places. That night, however, my dream was as clear as anything could be. I woke up knowing with certainty that God had spoken to me, His broken child.

In my dream, I was on a sailboat with family, friends, and acquaintances. I was driving the boat. (Notice I said I was driving the sailboat, not sailing it. The sail wasn’t even up.) With a firm grip on the wheel, I directed the sailboat.

Occasionally I’d turn the controls over to other people—my kids, certain friends, and even strangers. Everyone, that is, but my husband.

When Tim would reach for the wheel, I’d hold fast and refuse to let go.

“You can’t drive this boat,” I’d tell him. “You don’t have enough experience. You’ll crash it.”

Tim, as Tim usually does, gently backed away and let me continue on my way…even though I was driving the sailboat around the same point over and over again.

After circling the waters many times, the sailboat crashed upon a rock hidden beneath the surface. I swam to shore with Tim and the other passengers, totally distraught over the fate of the ship. As I stood looking over the water to where the ship had once sailed, my father walked toward me. I was so ashamed; I could barely look him in the face. I was certain he was going to chastise me for sinking the ship. It was, after all, his ship. He had entrusted it to me, and as far as I could see, I had destroyed it.

To my surprise, however, my father smiled gently, patted me on the back, and said, “It’s okay, baby. It’s not lost.” Then he grabbed me by the hand and said, “Let’s go check it out.”

Together we swam to the mast of the ship that still slightly protruded above the waters. We took deep breaths and swam below the surface.

First, we observed the ship from the outside. I

could see a huge, gaping hole in the front of the boat, caused by that unforeseen rock.

We surfaced for air, and then he said, “Let’s take a look inside.” He grabbed my hand, and we swam down and through a window and found our way below the ship’s deck. The inside was in shambles. I was shocked at the internal condition of the boat. There were many broken boards that desperately needed repairing. The overall structure of the ship was obviously not sound.

“I’ve lost the ship, Daddy. It’s destroyed.” I cried. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s not,” he calmly replied. “We just need to resurrect it from the waters and dock it for a while so that we can replace the broken pieces.”

Knowing how much work that would require, I immediately jumped into a disintegrating hammock that hung from the side of the ship.

Rocking back and forth, I cried out, “But it’s soooo comfortable just like it is!”

With a kind laugh, he shook his head no.

Then, extending his hand toward mine, we swam to shore to begin the restoration process.

The first step was bringing the ship to dry land. Then, one by one, the boards were removed and replaced with new ones. It took time as we totally restored the boat from the inside out, but in the end, the boat had a solid, new foundation on which it could safely sail. The time finally came when the boat was returned to the waters. The dark, newly stained mahogany wood glistened in the sunlight as we launched it out into new territories. It was a stately boat that reflected rare beauty.

“This boat will be an inheritance for your children,” Daddy promised as it set out to sail around the world.

With my father’s words ringing in my mind, I woke up. I was unusually alert for the middle of the night. I felt calm and full of peace and hope.

No longer did I feel grief and guilt, for I had been given a precious glimpse of the gentle and unconditional love of my heavenly Father. I once again had hope for my future and the future of the ministry.

For the next year, I docked both my life and ministry. One by one, God-led changes were made with the guidance of my husband and

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“Dock Your Ship” to keep you sailing

as lost w e h ; n i alive aga s i d n a as dead o celebrate. w e n i m f son o gan t For this und.’ So they be and is fo

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trusted, godly advisors. I’d be lying if I said He isn’t in Him. n o to ti these changes were easy, quick, or painless. a n ndem to come ilt or co for you u s g God took me all the way back to ground zero o rm n a en There is with op and had me tear apart and rebuild every part of waiting is e H . r, e 32 the internal structure of both In His Wakes and 15:11– kes. Rath ur mista gin. Read Luke o y r fo be you Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries. And then God , people punish cess can r. Often to e ro r . p th e e n g g o a e g to went to work on my personal life. it works storati d workin hat’s not how o hat so the re G w d im o n H A year after this dream, our family found ing. T and d f you a t th s o a u rt tr g o y in ff tl e do obedien mbined m ever ourselves putting everything we owned up for then to kes a co ns without the d ta n a n o d ti o ra G tio sale and moving south to Central Florida. In this arelessly listen to but resto eir situa Don’t c to fix th gness to d n o li On il G new place, we set sail once again. It’s been quite an t w n wa nyone. st. ires a m just a of the re on requ o ti fr re ra adventure! God is sailing our ship into territories we a e . c to ic ip s v e Re ad ersh ill tak n’t take eir lead . God w never would have imagined. , and do . Trust th u e He says o v y ri d to to ted I share this dream to encourage your heart. Perhaps ver you s entrus thority o God ha u a t a in h h me, t w right now you feel as though you’re sailing in circles, man has pu : “Searc :23–24 e over to ow those God g in 9 iv 3 g 1 th and you’re exhausted by the journey. Maybe you’ve hit alm t any in e, all ed in Ps oint ou y P . ra e flip sid ts p th h id g u an obstacle, and you’re frantically trying to stop the leak Dav ious tho Pray as my anx w k spots. g life.” o a n n e and stay afloat. Or maybe your ship has already sunk. Like k ti s w d a y me an f everl eal an o t v s re th te a ; n p a rt e ea me, you’re looking over the waters of your life, wondering so He c along th w my h forward n move and kno lead me a , d c d d n o u what happened and how in the world you will ever get a o G , y u O oses an yo n so the purp offends undatio in fo il r out of such a mess. Maybe too, you feel overwhelmed with a u s o t y me that se ild l. ary sou you truly , to rebu grief or guilt. your we en can e basics r th th fo ly t to n s k O . nd re o bac the time Friend, don’t despair. With the Lord’s help, your ship can e, joy, a red to g u take ’s worth ve peac it a , e prepa h e B u m o u as yo t y s o l y il ru sail again in magnificent beauty, into territories you never T w lp . e ly n to lh us the victorio God wil rmation od. Only dreamed. God is in the restoration business, and He is willing r transfo ce of G u n o e y id r v fo pro eed and able to make every part of you whole. All you have to do g you n verythin e d n a e is give Him access. Come to Him and let the process begin. V everyon ill send w e ust H . e nc g. il and tr f f obedie your sa ect timin rf p e u A life o p . t steps o u fe is s in li , in H trols. P le te n c o le ir c p c e m g n th be co exhausti ing onto making are hold id u o o v y a if y to r life only wa ect you . It’s the nnot dir u a o c y d il o G the er fa you. aters of will nev awaits il the w e a Him. He s s o l il rp w u It and p impact . eternity st for all ri h C r lives fo uching world, to

d at you. a m t ’ n s i od d repair, n o y e b s ’ .1 Daddy G t life tha r u o y n i g ely nothin t u l o s b a is 2. There ship. r u o y t c e r llow to di a u o y o h mind areful w d c n a y r t e r v a e e h 3. B to your s s e c c a d allow Go d n a p i h s our them.

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GOD IS IN THE RESTORATION BUSINESS, AND HE IS WILLING AND ABLE TO MAKE EVERY PART OF YOU WHOLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GIVE HIM ACCESS. COME TO HIM AND LET THE PROCESS BEGIN.

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Tammy’s Miracle

by William Stewart Steele

Laughter and love radiated from the kitchen, permeating the house as my three daughters, their friend, and my wife, Rose, baked cookies. Of course, I was the taste tester. The four giggling girls, aged between two and ten, proudly entered the TV room with each tray of cookies baked to receive daddy’s blessing. In truth, I was the one being blessed.

Tammy, my daughters’ friend, didn’t have a sister to bond with, and her sojourn at our home allowed her to build a special bond with sisters and a mother that wasn’t available at her home. I now sit in prison serving a life sentence, but looking back on those happy years, I thank God for blessing me with those five angels.

We all witnessed a miracle as the awesome power of God reached from a prison dorm, across hundreds of miles and a state line, to demonstrate that nothing is impossible wit h God.

As an adult, when Tammy learned I was in prison, she began writing to me, sharing her life and giving me the special title, Uncle Stu. In her letters, Tammy shared how she had married Tim, adopted his four-year-old daughter, given birth to a son, and eight years later, a daughter she described as an “exuberant bundle of love.” I pictured Tammy and her girls laughing as they baked cookies and Tim giving the daddy blessing as I had bestowed it so many years before.

My world was rocked when I read Tammy’s letter from December 11. Tim and Tammy had recently moved, hoping the lower cost of living in their new location would allow them a better life. They were wrong. The trailer was a dump, and the electric bill was almost as much as the rent. Tim had finally found work. He was supposed to start after Thanksgiving, but disaster had struck.

Tim was sick. At first they thought it was just the flu, but then his feet had turned green and black and were very sore. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital. Tim’s heart was enlarged, and his kidneys and liver were shutting down. Blood tests indicated that he was experiencing muscle death in his body.

Doctors sent Tim to a larger, nearby hospital.

Surgeons immediately cut a window in the heart sack and drained over a liter of liquid. They were baffled as to why these symptoms were occurring. Tim was stabilized and sent home with strict instructions not to work for six months. They also restricted him to light duty for three months.

The dilemma as I perceived it was that Christmas was only days away. Jessica, at age sixteen, understood that Daddy was sick; Brandon, at twelve, wrestled with friends whose presents were piling up under Christmas trees while he had none. Hailey, at four, just could not grasp why Santa would not be coming to their home this Christmas. Tammy closed her letter with these words: “If you don’t mind, please pray for my husband’s health and that things will get better for our family.”

I consider myself pretty tough and have stoically suffered many hardships, but when I finished Tammy’s letter, her pain was my pain. Tears streamed down my face, blotting the pages. What could I do with such grief and feelings of utter helplessness?

For years, I’ve served Christ as computer director and instructor, peer facilitator, and facilitator trainee trainer in the Tomoka Horizon faith and community programs.

I’ve considered the men incarcerated there my family. At the Wednesday

night community meeting, I told them about Tammy and read her letter. At the conclusion, witnessing many men wiping tears, I asked that they pray for this family. I passed around a get-well card for Tim that I had made and asked that everyone write something encouraging. I had no idea how God could help in this situation, but I knew He was able.

Immediately, we started praying. I mailed the card so it would arrive before Christmas. Then we, the Horizon community, shared Tammy’s plight with our families and friends across the nation. Hundreds of people began praying for Tammy’s family.

One inmate, Dale, had a visit the next Saturday with his wife and daughter. He shared Tammy’s story with them. That Sunday, when Dale’s wife attended church, she stood up and told the whole congregation about Tammy’s plight. A nun approached her after the service, told her of knowing a sister church near Tammy’s location, and said she would call that night.

When the nun shared Tammy’s plight with that local pastor, he excitedly exclaimed that his congregation had been collecting money for two weeks and praying for God to reveal a needy family.

The pastor announced that God had answered their prayers.

My next letter from Tammy was dated January 10. It was hard to keep my eyes dry as I read it to the Horizon faith-based community at our next Wednesday night meeting.

Tammy reported that Tim had handed her the envelope I had sent, saying, “Uncle Stu wrote you.”

When she opened it and discovered the get-well card, she told Tim, “This isn’t for me; it’s for you.”

The card caught Tim off guard. You see, Tim is an artist who also had served three years in prison.

He knew how much time it took to draw the card and stitch the elaborate colored-thread patterns.

Tim couldn’t believe that so many people he’d never met could be so nice and care so much for him. He wrote to me and asked me to thank each man who’d contributed to the card. I know God used that card to touch Tim’s heart.

The real surprise for Tammy came when she answered a knock at the door the Friday before Christmas. A pastor handed her a check and said some prisoners in Daytona Beach had been praying for her. Tammy wrote to me and said, “Uncle Stu, as soon as the pastor said that prisoners in Daytona Beach were involved, I knew it had all started with you. Tim was so shocked, he was speechless!”

Even more, on Christmas day, another knock came on the door, and there was Santa with a sack full of presents and a whole Christmas dinner. The kids freaked out that Santa had made a special trip just for them. Tammy listed all the presents each child had received. I knew at the conclusion of reading the letter that Christ was at work in all of their lives. And He was refreshing ours. continued on page 21

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Trust Fall

Ever feel lost and alone? Isolated? Or that your life is fruitless?

Recently while reading John 12:24, I discovered the remedy to all of the above. It says, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain” (NKJV). Now, I have read this verse often, but this time the words unless, falls, ground, dies, alone, and produces much jumped off the page.

I began to picture myself as a grain of wheat. I thought, unless I fall into the ground and die, I will remain alone. Hmmm. I don’t want to be alone or isolated. Then I thought, but if I fall into the ground and die, I will produce much. Now that’s more like it!

A pretty amazing promise, if you think about it.

So I began to ponder the following questions: What does it mean to fall into the ground? What ground am I to fall into? And what does it mean to die?

If I want to produce much, then I must discover the answers to these questions. Here’s what God gave me.

First of all, I must fall into the arms of Jesus. Picture with me the “trust game” of falling. Have you ever played that game? You stand with your back to someone, cross your arms over your chest, and then fall backward, trusting that the person behind you will catch you. It’s a bit scary and requires putting your trust in the hands of another.

It’s a good illustration of how we are to trust God. We must trust Him enough to fall into His loving arms.

Do you trust Him enough to fall?

It took me a long time to fall into His arms. To be honest, I didn’t trust Him. I trusted Him for my salvation…I didn’t want to go to hell. But I didn’t trust Him with my life. What would He do with my life if I truly abandoned all and trusted Him? Besides, didn’t God have a world to run? Why would He care about the details of my life?

Now, on the other side of my trust fall, I wonder why in the world I waited so long. Why would anyone ever hesitate to surrender and fall into God’s strong arms? For when we fall into God’s arms, we fall into unconditional love and grace. We fall into mercy and forgiveness, regardless of what we’ve done.

We fall into rest and freedom. We fall into truth and faithfulness.

Oh, don’t you long for truth? Don’t you long for rest? Aren’t you ready to be in the arms of someone who truly has your back and who will never let you go? Aren’t you sick of the lies? Tired of being disappointed and dropped by the hands of the world?

Then fall, my friend. Fall into His arms. Fall into His Word. Fall into fertile ground and find everything you’ve ever searched for. www.kojministries.org

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Excerpt from KOJM Monthly Inmate Devotion

What is fertile ground? The Word of God is fertile ground. Godly companionship is fertile ground. Bible groups and studies are fertile ground. The presence of God is fertile ground and is found when you get alone with God to praise Him, cry out to Him, and to listen to Him. After we fall, we must die. We must die to self.

Die to our old habits and patterns, to our old ways of thinking, and maybe even to old relationships. We must die to doing things the same old way, or else we will have the same old result. For me, I have to die daily to people pleasing, guilt of not being good enough or doing enough, and the desire to go nonstop. I have to die to my desire to control situations, to rush ahead, and to be right. Others may have to die to fear, anxiety, doubt, or acts of self-preservation, hatred, regret, hurt, disappointment, anger, jealousy, and bitterness.

How about you? Think about it…what rises up in your heart and seeks to control you? Die to it and live.

Dying to self isn’t always easy. Our flesh doesn’t die easily. It fights to live; it fights to control us. Dying to self really is a daily process.

Picture yourself as a little grain of wheat. Picture yourself being placed in the ground. Now picture the growth process. It’s hard. It’s a struggle. And it’s long!

The wheat stalk pushes through the dirt, often fighting through hard and lonely spots. It doesn’t sprout up and produce much overnight. In fact, it takes time for the farmer to even see evidence of the grain. But then, one day, there it is. The grain breaks through for the world to see. And then, it produces much!

The problem is, most people give up before they break through.

Right now, you may be in that process of struggle.

You may have hit some tough ground that is hard and lonely. It may seem your breakthrough will never happen. Don’t give up my friend…it’s coming.

You may be an inch away; you may be a few inches away—but you’re on your way. Your victory, the light at the end of your struggle, is almost upon you.

Remember, if you have fallen and if you are dying daily to self, you will produce much. That is God’s promise to you. And the world will see your fruit and be touched by your life…no matter who or where you are!

It’s important to note that, when a kernel of wheat falls into the ground, it breaks open. The cracking open of the kernel is the most important part of the dying process. It’s in that state of openness that the seed can be fertilized, watered, nurtured, and will ultimately grow. When I thought of this, I realized that we, too, must allow our hearts to crack open before God. We have to open up and expose our hearts to Him by getting real with Him so that He can fertilize, water, feed, and heal our hearts. If we remain closed, He can’t get inside, and the healing process that leads to producing much cannot begin. My friend, God stands at the door of your heart, and He is knocking.

Will you open that door? (See Revelation 3:20.) continued on page 21

It won’t be easy, but it will be the best decision you

will ever make.

Don’t be afraid to

take that step of faith.

God will meet you,

walk with you, and provide for your

every need, every step of the way.

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News spread quickly throughout various Hutterite colonies in North Dakota and Manitoba, Canada— nine young people between the ages of seventeen and twenty-five had gathered the courage to leave their lifelong surroundings, friends, and family to follow Jesus Christ. Each had heard separately about the unconditional love of Christ and the simplicity of knowing Him from ministers outside of the Hutterite colonies. Hutterite leaders considered this a “new, false belief,” and they bitterly attacked it. Yet, one by one, nine young Hutterites made the costly choice to step away from the only life they had ever known and from leaders who had ruled their every decision.

I was one of those nine. I was one who, although somewhat afraid of this new belief, nonetheless surrendered to the loving draw of my heavenly Father.

For seventeen years I had lived in the Hutterite colony, where my life was immersed in legalistic traditions that had been practiced for many generations. I was taught that by following traditions like daily church attendance, dress codes, and having a strong work ethic, I would please God. I adhered to these traditions strictly, yet in the back of my young mind, I noticed hypocrisy toward God’s truth. We had a form of religion, but there was a noticeable absence of love and joy.

This saddened me.

A Christian man who had left the colony years before came to visit. I felt compelled to go hear him.

For the first time, I heard how to receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. It turned out what they called a new, false belief was actually the simple truth of the Word of God, and I wanted this truth.

Immediately, the Holy Spirit began a cleansing in my heart, bringing conviction of my sin. I found myself kneeling before my mother, apologizing to her for the many times I had disrespected her. I wept in her arms. From that moment on, my life changed. I began reading my Bible, praying, and listening to preachers on CDs, all of which was forbidden by the colony leaders. At age seventeen, I prayed in faith and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. God received me right then and there, just as I was—hopeless, depressed, confused, fearful, and without a vision for my life.

Then, through His love and grace, God refreshed me and gave me a hope for my future and hunger for His truth.

As I pursued my newfound relationship with God, I discovered that the colony rules were in direct opposition to the teachings of Jesus Christ. Soon I and the other believers began to be persecuted for our faith. We desperately called upon the name of the Lord for guidance, help, and deliverance. He answered 10

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our prayers and opened the door for a small Christian ministry from North Dakota to visit our colony. These people shared openly about God’s miracles in their lives and how they could hear His voice. I desperately wanted to experience God in such a way.

Not long after their visit, an opportunity arose for a group of us to visit this ministry. I was so excited.

I knew that these people would help me grow in my faith and teach me more about what I had been studying. I especially wanted to learn more about the Holy Spirit as described in John 14:15–27.

I did not know when I left the colony the morning of December 25, 2006, that I was leaving there forever. But once I had experienced the freedom and joy of Jesus Christ, I couldn’t go back. I wanted more of Jesus. I wanted His ways, not the ways of man. I wanted His truth, not the lies of the world.

For the first time in my life, I was free. Free from fear, guilt, and condemnation. I felt so alive and complete. I had very few personal possessions with me, and I had had to leave my parents behind, but I was filled with peace and joy. Jesus was directing my footsteps, and I trusted Him to supply all my needs.

And He did.

The people from this ministry gave us a place to stay and taught us about God’s Word and how to walk out His Word in our daily lives. This was an answer to my prayers! I had prayed fervently for someone to come into my life and teach me more about God. The week after we left the colony, I was water baptized. It was wonderful to share publicly that I was a new creation in Christ Jesus. I also received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. After that, God’s Word was much clearer to me, and I had the strength to be obedient. I had a lot more joy, too.

Romans 14:17 says, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

Through the working of the Holy Spirit in my life, the healing of His Word, and through godly counseling, I have been delivered from fear, shame, guilt, and a constant need to please people. I’ve also found boldness to speak and use my God-given gifts for His glory. Certain physical expressions have helped me break free, too—things like praising the Lord with flags and dance, waterskiing, and learning to play the pan flute.

It has been ten years since The Nine, as we call ourselves, left the colony. Since our stepping out to follow Jesus Christ, God has blessed us more than we could have ever imagined, faithfully meeting our every need. In the colony, I was taught to bury my feelings, but God has shown me that He cares about every detail of my life—the big and the small. He welcomes my cries. And for my every question and concern, He has an answer.

Whoever you are, reading this article, I want to encourage you to experience a life in Jesus Christ and to receive the love He has for you. There is so much joy, peace, and truth waiting for you. Receiving these things, however, may require your leaving behind what is comfortable, safe, and secure. It won’t be easy, but it will be the best decision you will ever make. Don’t be afraid to take that step of faith. God will meet you, walk with you, and provide for your every need, every step of the way. V

www.kojministries.org

2/25/16 10:09 AM

Taking Down the Wall

by Lindy Williams

Dear Kristi, Many years ago at an In His Wakes event, you asked me to write for the magazine and share my personal story. I thought you were crazy. Why would a person who is able to write devotions and articles so eloquently want to hear what I had to say? Obviously you didn’t know me very well.

I told my husband about your request, and he was all excited.

“Well,” I thought, “he is my husband; he’s supposed to be supportive”—and I put it off. Why? I guess because writing it all down would mean admitting that my life isn’t all put together, that the image I project to the outside world isn’t real. And admitting to everyone that my life—the important stuff, anyway—isn’t exactly the way I want it to be is something I’ve worked hard to avoid.

I’ve done a pretty good job hiding the insecurities and doubts that creep in, not just daily, but hourly. I didn’t realize how good I was at hiding my true self until recently, when a friend told me she admired how comfortable I was at meeting people and making them feel welcome. Oh! If she only knew the knot in my stomach and the anxiety I deal with every time I have to meet new people—or even those I already know.

While I was good at keeping myself and my kids well dressed, keeping the house clean, going to church, and teaching my children how to behave and love, I was more and more keeping to myself and hiding feelings of doubt and insecurity. Overall, I looked all put together, but my life wasn’t as polished and smooth as the image I presented. My heart was breaking within me as I dealt with family issues too embarrassing to share, even with those closest to me.

We moved from our small town in Florida to get away from it all. I thought leaving everything behind would somehow protect me from the chaos, but in the end, this new place became a wall that blocked my sunshine. True, I wasn’t feeling the daily pain of being in the midst of the mess, but there was loss. It hurt so much to see my family fall apart, and I just couldn’t deal with the fact that there was absolutely nothing I could do to fix it.

I thought, “Keep it to yourself, Lindy. Don’t let them know how crazy it is behind closed doors.” But by doing so, I blocked myself from the love and peace that some really good people can bring— people I had been distancing myself from, and people I knew God had put in my path.

It took me a while, but I finally realized that I needed to let down the pretenses. The wall of protection began to crumble the day I finally said, “Hey, I have struggles too!” When I did, I was able to show my heart and relate to others who have struggles just like I do.

One day as I shared about my family, a friend said, “You know, we all have those people in our families.” And while I knew it shouldn’t, her statement made me feel better. It made me feel not so alone in my struggle against the world and the evil that is in it. Letting go of those hurts and struggles—deciding against keeping them on the inside for fear of being not as in control as I’d like to be—removed a great burden from my shoulders.

You see, pretending I was all put together and problem free was wearing me out! Spending my time constantly pushing back my hurts only used up my energy and distracted me from the love I have in my heart for the day-to-day tasks of being a mother to some really wonderful girls. It also kept the love of others from reaching into my

heart. The truth is, the wall I was building around myself to keep secrets and hurts from getting out was also keeping the love and friendship of others from reaching my heart. It blocked me from seeing the good that is still out there in this crazy world. No, life isn’t fair, but it can still be good, even in the hard times and hard places. It’s the hard times that allow us to feel the good of the good times.

I had to begin looking for God at work in the little things (things like making it to school on time with no one sick and everyone wearing matching shoes), but once I did, I could see Him everywhere. And wow! It’s so amazing to know that He cares about the little things in my life.

Yes, I struggled with my dad’s alcoholism and ultimately my parents’ divorce. But there were quiet moments, too—moments with the sun shining across the smooth, glassy lake and my baby in my arms, looking up at me with a big beautiful smile on her face.

And in those moments, I knew everything was going to be okay. It sounds crazy, but in the chaos of it all, I had peace. I knew that Jesus was shining His love down on me.

With God’s help, I am slowly finding a way to let go of the hurts that I have bottled up for so long. I’m finding a way to let the good in. God’s love, shown to me through the love of His people, is pushing away those hurts and healing me. But it’s been a daily choice. Every day, I choose to get rid of the stuff that isn’t good, and I choose to receive the particular blessings of that day. But I had to be willing first to open up my heart to God and others.

I share all of this with you, Kristi, because I know you’ll understand.

More importantly though, I want to tell you how your prison ministry has helped me. No, I am not behind physical bars, but I have been behind emotional and spiritual bars—bars that I put up myself, every time I believed Satan’s lies when he told me I was not good enough or when I let fear and frustration get the best of me.

You have encouraged me so much through the testimonies of how God is transforming the hearts, minds, and lives of inmates.

This gives me hope for the future of our society and really, for my own family. I read about men like Danny Morris (“God Blessed My Broken Road,” VL Issue 3, 2014, http://www.magazinevolume. com/15720AS/#/24/), who was incarcerated, homeless, and near death because of alcoholism. Yes, he made some bad choices, but God didn’t leave him behind. God changed Danny—He healed him, forgave him, and sent people into his life to help him. And this gives me hope that my dad can be healed as well. Stories like Danny’s renew my faith and give testimony that God can do the same for my family.

Please thank the prisoners you come in contact with for giving me hope by sharing their stories of redemption. I continue to pray for you and your family, and I am looking forward to seeing God continue to work through this ministry. Thank you for helping my wall come down a little bit further.

Love, Lindy V

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2/25/16 10:09 AM

d e m ar h n U e h t by Fire

by Joan

Tyson

On December 30, I journeyed through an incredible thunderstorm to North Carolina to be with dear friends to celebrate the New Year and my sixty-eighth birthday. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me.

New Year’s Eve was a stay-in-your-pajamas day until it was time to get ready for the party. Around midafternoon, I went out to check on my car since it had rained torrents the night before. The trunk was slightly ajar.

Strangely, my key would not open the car door. I began to panic. Being in the middle of the holidays, I knew that getting my car fixed quickly could be difficult. Multiple what-ifs flew into my head and right out of my mouth.

My friend Laura tried to comfort me. “Don’t worry, my son will be home soon. He and his friends can jump the battery. Assuming that’s the problem.”

I was not comforted at all.

“It’s New Year’s Eve. What if it’s not as simple as the battery? What if I can’t get home to go to work on Monday?” The worries began to overwhelm me.

When Laura’s son and his friend arrived, they tried to start the car, with no success. We called AAA, but they couldn’t get the car to start either. They towed the car to the nearest Ford dealership.

Now I really began to panic. Laura, who was probably tired of hearing my complaints, graciously said, “Joanie, I think you should skip the party. Put on your pajamas and go to bed.”

“No,” I said. “I just need to get it all out. I’ve been a panicker my whole life, but I’ll be fine by the time we get to the party. I promise.”

At that point, I knew I had crossed a line. Where was my faith? Where was the woman who loves and trusts Jesus?

(Please tell me I’m not the only one who is overwhelmed with fear and doubt at times.)

The party was wonderful. Good friends, awesome food, and sweet children surrounded me as I brought in the New Year and celebrated my birthday. When we arrived home, I went straight to bed and fell fast asleep. I got up at 5:15 the next morning. Little did I know that Laura was purposely staying in bed because she did not want to hear anymore of my what-ifs and witness my panic and lack of trust.

I checked the messages on my phone and discovered an update on a social media site from a family in our church.

This family had four children, all under the age of six. Their six-year-old son was called home to be with Jesus just a few months back. What follows is a portion of what the father shared in his post:

On Christmas Day, I overheard my wife telling a friend, “This has been the best year of my life.”

How could a year that opened with our oldest son in perfect health and closed with him dead from brain cancer be the best year of her life?

To answer that question, let me paraphrase my favorite pastor’s sermon on Romans 8 called, “In all things—God.” In anguish over unexplained decline in health—God; In heart-wrenching diagnosis—God; In uncertain treatment—God; In miraculous response to radiation—God; In an apparent open door to cutting-edge experimental treatment—God; In an unprecedented regrowth of tumor—God; In crushing disappointment—God; In the peace and joy of a six-year-old child who knows his time has come—God; And in the comfort and sustaining grace over a broken-hearted family— God. Because of God, we have been able to endure many trials. And through them, we have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. Yes, it’s true: we have shed more tears in 2015 than perhaps in all our other years combined. Yet we rejoice because our trials have led us to encounter a God who keeps His promises. We can now say that we know God better. For that alone, it was worth every tear, every agony, and every wail.

Thanksgiving was harder than I had anticipated. Christmas was a mix of bitter and sweet as our family’s celebration of Jesus’ birth was notably quieter. We reflected that our son now worships his Savior by sight and not by faith. For now, my faith is all that carries me through.

With the faith of David in Psalm 23, I have been able to walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I was not afraid of the evil that befell me, for God was with me. His rod, His staff, they comforted me.

With the faith of Paul in Philippians 3, I was able to count everything as loss—even the dreams and plans for my son—because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake, I have suffered the loss of all things.

Any strength I have is from God. I am no Greek scholar, so I cannot speak with authority on the following—but hear me out. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Athletes put this verse on their cleats, and students claim it as a promise of achievement before exams. But I think the verse means the near opposite in context.

To me, the meaning is better understood, “I can suffer all things through Him who strengthens me.” We can face trials and tribulations and overcome them through the strength of God. (Check out the context.

Verse 12 mentions hunger and need, and verse 14 speaks of sharing in trouble.)

I have been able to endure all things because God has strengthened me. The truth in this is hard. Suffering is real. Pain is real. Our family knows this all too well.

Suffering is a real source of unbelief for atheists. They say, “I cannot believe in a God who would allow _______.”

Well, our “fill-in-the-blank” for the unbeliever would be: I cannot believe in a God who allows a healthy six-year-old boy to die of an inoperable, incurable, aggressive, progressively debilitating brain tumor.

Yet we believe. And for that, we glorify Him. Our faith is a gift. It is a treasure, hidden in our clay vessels, to reflect the value of Him who gives, not him who has received.

If you read the words of Jesus in John 16, He makes clear to His disciples (and all who follow after Him) that in this world we will have tribulation and trials. We’ve had our share of trials. It’s been like a burning oven to us at times, just like the one Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego experienced in Daniel 3. But like these three Hebrew boys, the fire has had no power over us—our hair has not been singed nor our clothes burned. Through our fiery trial, we have not been alone. God has been with us.

We start 2016 with grateful hearts and our gaze lifted heavenward.

Through our tribulation, the grip this world has on our hearts has been severely weakened. For this we glorify God.”

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2/25/16 10:09 AM

A Lesson from a Chicken Bone

by Roy A. Borges

My gaze fell from my phone. I dropped to my knees, sobbing in repentance over the panic that has held me captive all my life. “Oh God, forgive me!” How could I be so fearful over a car that wouldn’t start, when these precious people have such peace and faith in the midst of such tragic loss.

As I repented, the heaviness I had carried for a lifetime was exchanged for His joy. In that moment, I believe God delivered me. I was free and alive.

Suddenly, I had complete trust that my God would work all things out for good, just as Romans 8:28 promises. For so long I had quoted this scripture, but now I finally believed it.

Sobbing and bouncing down the stairs, I yelled, “Laura, get up!”

An emphatic, “No!” was her reply. She was determined to stay in bed, shielded from my incessant worrying.

“You have to get up. I have something to share!”

I pleaded.

She came into the living room and sat on the couch, cuddling her blanket and dog. Through tears, I read the above account and shared how this family’s faith despite their loss had led me to repentance and ultimately, freedom. We rejoiced together.

On Saturday, January 2, Laura and I (and her dog) went to the dealership to check on my car. We discovered that it couldn’t be fixed until Monday.

I would miss work, but you know what? I didn’t panic. For me, that was a miracle. There was only praise to God for His deliverance. And in the midst of my praises came the peace that passes all understanding. (See Philippians 4:6–8.)

Have you experienced God’s peace in the midst of your trial? I’ve learned the hard way that His peace will only come when we completely trust Him with every situation of our lives…the big and the small. In times of major health crisis and in times of car troubles!

Trust. That’s the key. As Christians we often talk a big game of faith, but if we want to experience all God has for us, including peace and deliverance, then we have to come to a place where we totally trust our Father’s love for us, His ability to handle our situations, and His faithfulness to see us through. V

Being arrested for robbery and violating my parole in 1989 guaranteed I’d be spending Christmas in a Florida prison that year…and for years to come. I didn’t have much of a Christmas spirit. I didn’t see anything to be merry or hopeful about. My plan to celebrate my first Christmas with my daughter and her new husband since I got out of prison wasn’t going to happen. Christmas had lost all its meaning.

After a painful argument with my wife on the telephone, I sat down on my Dade County Jail bunk and began eating my meal. Anxious to get back on the phone, I ate too fast and sucked down a little chicken bone that stuck in my windpipe.

I couldn’t breathe or talk; I started choking. I remember thinking, “It’s all over now.” I thought for sure I was a goner—and in a way, I welcomed it. But then a strange thing happened. In a matter of seconds, I saw my wasted life, the past and present, pass before me.

“Is this how it’s going to end?” I thought.

I cried out to God, although no words came out of my mouth. I suddenly realized I didn’t want my life to end like this. “Lord, please help me,” I prayed.

Some of the prisoners nearby saw what was happening as my face turned red and then purple. One of them yelled for a guard, who turned me upside down and began to shake me as he squeezed my stomach. The little bone popped out onto the floor.

I couldn’t talk for a couple weeks because the chicken bone had scraped my vocal cords—which was probably what God wanted. Now that I couldn’t talk, maybe I’d listen.

On Christmas Eve in the chapel, an ex-prisoner came and preached about a baby in a manger who came to save the world. I began to understand that Christmas was more than a holiday people spend with loved ones exchanging gifts. It was about the greatest gift ever given to mankind—a gift of love and forgiveness. God forgave a sinner like me, not because I deserved it or did anything to earn it, but because of His great love for me. His perfect love made a way for me to have a new life and set my feet on a new path.

I’d heard the Christmas story before, but this time my heart was ready, and I asked Jesus Christ into my life. That day completely changed everything for me. It was the day I began to put my hope and trust in Him instead of me.

Slowly the unhappiness of incarceration that cut away the meaning of Christmas changed as I took my eyes off the pain of prison and put my faith in the Son of God, who freed me from a fate worse than my cell—Hell.

I often think back to how God used a chicken bone stuck in my throat to lead me to Jesus. It taught me that God’s amazing grace is inexhaustible. He never gives up. He loves me more than I ever loved myself, and He shows me that when my heart is willing, He can use me even from a prison cell. The same holds true for you. V

God’s amazing grace is inexhaustible.

He never gives up. He loves me more than I ever loved myself, and He shows me that when my heart is willing, He can use me even from a prison cell.

The same holds true for you.

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2/25/16 10:09 AM

Moving Forward in Tough Times

by Kristi Overton Johnson

Life is tough. There’s no denying that fact. We don’t have to look far to find injustices of all kinds causing people of all ages and walks of life great pain. Of course, this isn’t new. From the beginning of time—with the entrance of sin into the garden of Eden—pain arrived on the scenes of our lives.

Recently I was reading the book of Habakkuk.

Even in Habakkuk’s day, the injustices of the world were rampant. In this small book, found near the end of the Old Testament, the prophet’s grief and frustration are fully evident as he cries out to God. The world around him was full of violence, evil, and destruction. There was no justice in the courts, and fighting among the people was common. Really bad things were happening to really good people.

Sound familiar?

To Habakkuk, it seemed that God was just standing there, watching it all happen. It seemed unfair, and he didn’t understand why God would allow such horrible things to continue. He says, “How long, O LORD, must I cry for help?…Violence is everywhere!…But You are pure and cannot stand the sight of evil. Will You wink at their treachery?”

(1:1, 13).

I love God’s response. He doesn’t chastise Habakkuk for his complaints. He simply encourages Habakkuk to trust Him, saying, “I am doing something you wouldn’t believe even if someone told you about it” (1:5).

In chapter two, God begins to reveal truths that teach us how to face unfair and difficult situations.

First of all, God points out that those who rely on their own strength and those who chase after the things of the world will never find true rest and satisfaction.

“They work so hard, but all in vain” (2:13).

He reminds Habakkuk that people will reap what they sow; a day will come when people’s actions will catch up with them. God isn’t blind to actions and injustices. He states, too, that people who use dishonest means to get ahead in life are heading for one thing—sorrow.

I’m sure there are times when we’ve all wanted to ask, “What are You doing, God? Why aren’t You fixing this? Why did You let this happen?” I know I’ve done it. All around me, I see injustice, and I often wonder why God doesn’t step in.

But in the midst of my questions, I have to trust that God is doing something, even though I can’t see

We can trust God because we know Him. We know He is faithful; we know His character.

We don't have to wait for Him to change the situation before we change our outlook. In His time, God will make everything right. it. Like Habakkuk, I must remember God’s faithfulness in the past and stand on the promise that He will not abandon me now.

I love the end of this little book. Habakkuk looks around and says, “Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights” (3:17–19).

In essence, Habakkuk is saying, “Lord, although everything I see around me is hopeless, dead, and unfair, nonetheless, I will trust You. I will find my joy in You, not in my circumstances. Why? Because I know that You will save me and You will help me move forward and overcome the toughest of situations.”

Trusting God is a choice. I can either trust God in my situations or let my situations control and overwhelm me.

Habakkuk could trust God because he knew God. He knew of God’s faithfulness, and he knew God’s character. Because of this, Habakkuk didn’t have to wait for God to change the situation before he changed his outlook. Rather, he said, “I will wait quietly for the coming day” of God’s deliverance (3:16). Habakkuk let go of his complaining attitude,

fearful thoughts, anger, and bitterness over the injustices of the world—all of which had caused him to lose his peace and joy—and he found rest in God. Just as in the prophet’s day, things might seem hopeless for us. Situations will appear unfair, and people may be downright cruel. In this passage, God shows us the key to navigating the hard places of life.

He wants us to trust Him and move forward by taking one step of faith at a time.

But maybe you’re asking, “How can I trust God? How can I trust someone I can’t see? How can I trust someone who allows all these injustices in my life and in the world?” My humble response is this: Trust in God comes from knowing God. Knowing God comes from seeking His face.

Ask God to reveal Himself to you. When you do, I know firsthand that He will do it. As you let Him into your life, He will begin to fill any empty spaces.

He will heal your hurts and disappointments, give your life purpose, and exchange your sorrow for joy.

He will give you His peace and strength so that you can move forward in the tough places and ultimately become victorious in the trials of life.

But to trust Him, you have to know Him. Do you really know Him? I sat in church for two decades and didn’t know God. I knew about Him from what I had heard in church and learned from listening to other people, but I didn’t know Him from personal experience. I had a vision in my mind of what God was like. I had my own ideas of what He would and would not do. In my mind, God was a harsh judge who was looking down from heaven and waiting for me to stumble so He could catch me in the act and bring a swift, harsh punishment.

How could I trust a God I believed was out to get me?

My vision of God changed when I began to seek Him daily. As I have sought after Him now for decades, He has revealed His great love for me over and over again. He has revealed His faithfulness. God has never failed me, and because of this truth, I can wait quietly even in the midst of tough situations.

I challenge you today to seek God with your whole heart so that you can know Him personally and experience His great love and peace. Lay aside your preconceptions of Him; lay aside your criticisms of what you have seen modeled as Christianity. Instead, ask God to show Himself to you. V

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Dorm-Room Daffodils Early spring, a college dorm room, and two young coeds, about to catch a glimpse of that which hints at our heritage and reveals the thumbprint of our Creator: hope.

My best friend Jenell and I had finished up our day the best that we knew how, and now it was play time. I can’t recall what we were on our way to do—maybe we just walked around campus, talking; maybe we headed to the student center to play pool or socialize. Whatever it was, it doesn’t matter.

The moment etched in my memory came later in the evening.

The clocks had not yet sprung ahead for spring, and it was already dark outside. I tripped down the steps to Jenell’s room and knocked. As I waited for her to gather her jacket and find her shoes, I noticed a potted plant on her desk. She explained to me that it was an Easter gift, a daffodil. But it didn’t look like one. It seemed only a green spike, stuck in the dirt.

We left and took in whatever entertainment we had chosen for that evening. Afterward, back at her room, I waited patiently while she hung up her coat and settled in for the evening.

And then I saw it: the daffodil. Not a spike any more, but a beautiful, frilly, fully bloomed, yellow trumpet. It was like something had come into that room in our absence and waved a magic wand over that spike. I could almost see the sparkles still floating around the room! And then, I was overcome with the realization that it was not something, but Someone.

Someone was hovering in a corner with a quiet, humble smile, watching me to see if I liked it.

I believe we all can recall those moments we might label as our “awakening” times. I’ve never forgotten my experience that night. In the smallness and even silliness of a dark dorm room, Christ—the giver of all beauty, the Father of lights, the breath of life—came in His fullness and birthed a flower for me. For me alone. There was no fanfare; it was very quiet. But I was aware that all of heaven was reflected in that simple bloom, if I could look at it and receive it for what it was. It was the reality of hope. And it was beautiful beyond comprehension because complete and unselfish love was behind the whole thing.

It wasn’t—it isn’t—a love like the world knows the word. We don’t really comprehend love here. We don’t know how to love, and love doesn’t exist in our fallen natures. We say we love our friends, but the truth is, we love what they do for us. They ease our loneliness; they give us social status; they feed our egoistic needs.

Christ isn’t like that. He wants our love, yes. Indeed, He wants our worship. But I am convinced this is only because it is ultimately good for us to worship Him. There is no base, human selfishness in the love of

let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV) Christ. It is difficult to find words to explain His love; words are such an insufficient means of explaining because Christ’s love is neither part of this world nor its language.

Hebrews 12:2 (NKJV) reminds us that we are “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” It is Christ’s joy to give His love—eternally, freely, humbly. His human flesh suffered as He walked toward the cross, but Christ endured that “for the joy” that was ahead. How can we possibly understand such love?

My best hope to successfully communicate the love of Christ to you is to tell you my daffodil story. You know, I didn’t have to like that daffodil. I was not expected to fill a need in the giver by expressing thanks or giving praise; in fact, it was up to me to choose whether or not to even give it a glance. God would remain all God whether I gave my admiration or not. He was quiet and demanded nothing. And in that moment, I was aware that the best thing—the purest form of thanks or worship I could offer—was just to stand there in that room and enjoy the beauty and fragrance of the little yellow daffodil because His pleasure came from seeing mine!

by Becky Coursen

In the spring, God splashes His world with yellow flowers whose purpose, in my reasoning, is only that we might enjoy them and recognize the heart of love behind the gift. May I point out that He didn’t have to make daffodils to be so pretty or smell so good? He could have created a world wherein flowers provided a practical function without being so pleasurable. But I believe with all my heart that even through them, He speaks to us. He reaches out to us. Have you heard Him calling?

I gained a better comprehension of God’s love that evening from the dorm-room daffodil.

God aches to be my friend so much that He’d do anything for that relationship to happen. He’d give it all—with joy—for only the hope that I might reach out, take it, and enjoy its beauty. And I believe that the God of the universe, all powerful and all mighty and all knowing, paradoxically stands quietly and humbly in the hidden corners of dim rooms, waiting with a gentle smile for each of us to notice the unbelievable gift He has offered to us.

If we choose not to look or appreciate or accept that gift, He will be no less the frightening, allpowerful God that He is, but that would not be His choice. His greatest joy comes from the joy we inevitably receive when we do choose to accept Him. Because that’s just how He is. It’s how He loves.

It’s who He is. V

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DREAM D R E A M

An Interview with Tanya Crevier by Kristi Overton Johnson Everybody has a dream. And dreams can become reality.

Tanya Crevier’s dream to be a professional basketball player began when she was twelve years old. Many people told Tanya that her dream of playing professional basketball was impossible—she was too short, and her school didn’t even have a girl’s basketball program! But obstacles and criticisms didn’t slow her down. They only fueled the passion within. She was determined to be the best basketball player she could be at every level of the game. She spent thousands of hours developing her dribbling, passing, and shooting skills.

Tanya’s determination paid off, as she enjoyed a successful college career at South Dakota State University in four sports before playing three years of women’s professional basketball.

Upon retiring from her professional competitive career, Tanya created her unique and inspiring “Enthusiastic Spintacular Basketball Show.“ Recognized as one of the top basketball-handlers in the world, Tanya travels extensively, delighting and motivating crowds with her incredible skills and inspiring story. Her electric personality, gleaming smile, and amazing talents bring joy, hope, and encouragement to thousands.

I am one of the many who have been touched by the skills and heart of Tanya Crevier.

I first met Tanya a little over a year ago when the two of us were paired as platform guests at a Bill Glass “Behind the Walls” prison event. Our common goal was to encourage the hearts of inmates with the love of Christ. I am quite sure that I was more encouraged than anyone. I returned home to my family inspired, challenged, and dreaming of ways that I could use my own story, passions, and talents to impact even more lives.

Since then, I’ve ministered with Tanya several times.

Each time, her enthusiasm and love for the Lord have stirred me to greater things. Recently, Tanya and I took a moment out of our busy schedules to talk about her passion for basketball, prisoners, youth, and how the sport she loves has enabled her to travel the world and glorify God. Here are some excerpts from our conversation. I trust they will stir your heart to greatness, no matter where you are, and give you the inspiration and courage you need to take steps toward your dreams.

KOJ: Tanya, I remember the first time I met you. We walked together to the prison yard. You didn’t know it, but I was watching your every move, observing how you interacted with inmates, prison staff, and volunteers.

I wanted to learn from you and the other ministry leaders God had placed in my life. What I witnessed was incredible. Every step you took left an impression of love, humility, and excellence. You made every person feel as though he or she were the most important person in the world…including me.

I remember one elderly inmate who was in a wheelchair. You stopped, looked him straight in the eye, and gave him 100 percent of your attention. It was a perfect picture of what Jesus would have done. Then you took his hand, isolated his index finger, and placed a spinning basketball on it. I’ll never forget the beautiful toothless smile that spread across his face and the sparkle that appeared in his eyes. Through you, God reminded me that He can use simple things to touch hearts in powerful ways.

TC: You’re right. God can use anything to touch people with His love. That includes a basketball or, in your case, a water ski! People think they have to have some big ministry in order to reach people, but the truth is, they only have to be willing to use their passions for God’s glory.

When I shared my time, a genuine smile, and a spinning basketball with that elderly man, I was able to connect with his heart and make a deposit of joy. Holding that spinning basketball was healing for him. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart photo credit: Ron Kuntz

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MY ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO BE THE BEST I CAN BE. EVEN NOW, I HAVE A BURNING DESIRE FOR EXCELLENCE. I KNOW THERE ARE STILL TRICKS I CAN LEARN AND SKILLS THAT I CAN MASTER. AND BECAUSE I KNOW THERE’S AN ETERNAL PURPOSE TO WHAT I AM DOING, I KEEP PRESSING ON.

does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones” (NKJV). When I go into prisons with a basketball in hand, I am bringing a dose of medicine to heal the brokenhearted.

Everyone has special abilities and unique passions that God can use. I have a gift in basketball. But you know what? Even a smile is a gift. It can light up a room and bring joy to the darkest of places. A word of encouragement is a gift. Proverbs 25:11 tells us that a word timely spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver! Our responsibility as individuals is to discover our gifts and share them with others so God can draw all men and women to Himself.

KOJ: So how did you discover that your gift was basketball?

TC: Growing up with eleven siblings and parents who valued a strong work ethic, I was surrounded by people of excellence. Seeing the talents of my brothers and sisters made me want to be excellent at something too. Since I wasn’t musical like my sister and I couldn’t play football like my brothers, I sought to find my own thing. One day, my brothers came home from college and told me about a man named George Schauer who could perform all sorts of tricks

and spins with a basketball. It was then I knew that basketball was the sport for me.

From then on, I wanted to be the best basketball player I could be. I had a dream to play professional basketball. Knowing that my dream wouldn’t just happen, I began to work toward it.

KOJ: I’m assuming the first step was to join your school’s team?

TC: No (laughing). At that time, our school didn’t have a girl’s basketball program. I had to motivate myself to reach my goal; I had to get creative. That included running sprints with my brothers, finding coaches who would help me, and playing in pick-up games. At five-foot-three, I had to work extra hard to make up for my height. Anything I could do to become stronger, quicker, and more efficient in my ball handling, I did it.

KOJ: You are obviously passionate about basketball.

But I know there had to be disappointments along the way. Did your goal ever seem out of reach? Did you ever think about quitting?

TC: For me, it is always about being the best I can be, not about being perfect. It is about learning something new every step of the way. I had disappointments, sure. But most of my lessons came from my failures. Failure taught me how to do things differently so that I could achieve success. A lot of people give up on their dreams because of their failures; they don’t realize that those failures can help them achieve their goals.

KOJ: Obviously you were a great student of both the victories and the defeats. Because you pressed on through the hard stuff, you ultimately reached the highest level of basketball, and you’ve been inducted into several sports halls of fame. Yet three decades

later, you continue to press on to greatness. Haven’t you achieved all that you set out to do?

TC: My ultimate goal is to be the best I can be.

Even now, I have a burning desire for excellence. I know there are still tricks I can learn and skills that I can master. And because I know there’s an eternal purpose to what I am doing, I keep pressing on.

Basketball isn’t just about me. It’s for God. It’s for His people. I want to use my gift of basketball to impact lives in a powerful way for Christ. I want to be the best I can be so that my show creates a better and bigger platform for me to share the hope that is within me.

This motivates me to keep practicing and learning new tricks. Not to mention trying to keep up with my brother, Bruce! We’re always pushing one another and sharing ideas to come up with new tricks for our shows.

KOJ: I’ve seen your show—it’s excellent.

TC: Thank you. Whether I’m performing for a halftime show or on the yard in a maximum-security prison, I have one goal in mind: to give a show of excellence. Prisoners often get second-rate stuff. I have determined in my heart never to give less than my best. People are drawn to excellence, so I know that if I give an excellent show, they will be drawn continued on page 18

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DREAM | from page 17________________________________________________________ to an excellent God. God gave His best for me. How can I do anything less?

KOJ: Your basketball talents are for God? Tell me more about that.

TC: It took me a long time to figure that out.

For many years, basketball was my life. It was my identity; something that I did for others and myself.

I was Tanya-the-Basketball-Player. The problem with this was that my self-worth and security came from my performance. When I played great, I felt great.

But when I had a bad game, I felt terrible about myself. I was on an emotional roller-coaster ride.

In college, people started telling me about Jesus and how my identity, purpose, and security could come from Him. At first, I couldn’t understand why I would need a personal relationship with Jesus. I was good at sports; I was successful and happy; I had a great life and awesome friends. I even attended church regularly. In my opinion, I was just fine. But there were still these nagging questions in the back of my mind. Who was I? Was I anything more than just a basketball player? Could there be any purpose in all of these basketball tricks and drills?

At the same time, several of my siblings became believers. I couldn’t help but notice how their lives were transformed. They had peace and joy, and they were courageous about sharing their faith. It was almost as if I could run no further. I wanted to know more.

I wanted what they had, and I wanted to have purpose beyond basketball. My brother, Marc, sat me down photo credit: Christy Cabe

and explained the good news of Jesus Christ. I surrendered and accepted God’s gift of salvation and began walking out my faith in my daily life.

At first I didn’t know how I could serve God. Was I supposed to give up basketball and become a missionary or serve in the church? But then I realized that my skills in basketball were a gift from God; therefore, I could use them for Him. That’s when basketball took on a whole new purpose. Suddenly, every practice session, every performance, every interaction with people had an eternal purpose. Each event was an opportunity to glorify God and lead people to Him. I’m just awed that God gave me a ministry to people doing the very thing I love.

KOJ: I can tell you love it. You’re always so pumped up, whether it’s first thing in the morning or after a full day of ministering. Do you ever get down or tired of ministering all the time?

TC: There are times when all the traveling gets to me. I’m human. But I never get tired of ministering to others, so I love what I do. I love bringing joy and encouragement to people’s hearts. It’s worth every sacrifice. When I grow weary, I remember that basketball isn’t about me. It’s bigger than me. It’s about God. There is real eternal significance in what I do. That keeps me moving every time!

When I do find myself discouraged by life’s challenges, I look up and I look out. By this I mean, I look to God. He is my source of strength. And then I look for others to minister to. When I focus on loving other people and ministering to their hearts, it’s impossible for me to stay discouraged. Serving others lifts me up. It will lift anyone up. We don’t have to look too far to find someone who needs help more than we do.

KOJ: Your schedule is posted on your website (www.tanyacrevier.com). Wow! You are a busy woman! How do you stay strong spiritually in the midst of all your travels and show commitments?

EVERYONE HAS SPECIAL ABILITIES AND UNIQUE PASSIONS THAT GOD CAN USE. I HAVE A GIFT IN BASKETBALL. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? EVEN A SMILE IS A GIFT. IT CAN LIGHT UP A ROOM AND BRING JOY TO THE DARKEST OF PLACES. A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT IS A GIFT.

TC: I do travel a lot. But no matter where I am, I look for God. I stay in tune with Him and listen for His voice. Whenever I can, even if it’s on a plane or in a taxicab, I get His Word in me. I quiet my mind as the world carries on around me so I can hear Him. Sometimes I’m only able to read a verse or two, but no matter how much or little, God never fails to show me something beautiful that I can apply to my life. I call these my spiritual nuggets— God’s wisdom that can be applied to me.

For example, today I read Luke 1:30–31, the account of the angel appearing to Mary. “Don’t be afraid, Mary,” the angel told her. “You’ve found favor with God! You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus.” When I read those verses, I felt the Lord telling me not to be afraid; that I, too, have found favor with God. In response, I asked Him to help me courageously birth whatever He has conceived within me. I promised that I will allow it to grow and will carry it to full term, no matter the cost, so that it can touch the world.

FROM THE WHIT E HOUSE TO PRIS ON YARDS, TANY A SPREADS JOY!

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photo credit: Christy Cabe

TANYA WIT FORMER P H RO PLAYERS, PISTOL PET E MARAVICH AND KEVIN JOHNSON .

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photo credit: Ron Kuntz

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KOJ: Why do you think so many people fail to birth the things of God? To carry to full term the dreams and calling God has placed within them?

TC: Many reasons. One is fear. People fear being rejected or ridiculed by

others. They fear failure. But many times, people just don’t believe they can achieve their dreams. They only see the roadblocks—perhaps they lack experience or resources. Because of that, they never start taking steps toward a goal. They look at the big picture and think, “It’s too difficult and will take too long to get there,” and they stay put. The simple truth is this: You can’t achieve something you never start.

KOJ: Tanya, there are people reading this article right now, perhaps sitting in a prison cell, a hospital room, or even at their kitchen table, who feel there is no way their God-given dreams could ever be birthed. What would you say to them?

TC: I would say, success is a combination of baby steps. No matter where you are, you can take a baby step toward a goal. You don’t have to be great at something to start, but you do have to start to be great. So start!

I often ask myself, “What can I do today to move toward tomorrow’s goal?” Then, I do it. That’s my advice to everyone. Start right now, right where you are, doing what you can today, with what you have.

God places our dreams within us. If we’re willing to lay aside our fears, insecurities, and excuses and step out with God, nothing can stop those dreams from becoming reality. It doesn’t matter where you are or how talented you are. All God is looking for is someone who will start. He’ll bring the answers and opportunities.

KOJ: That’s great advice. Having chased my own dreams, I’ve found that surrounding myself with other champions was helpful too.

TC: All around us are dream makers and dream breakers. We have to surround ourselves with people who will encourage us, hold us accountable, pick us up when we fall, and spur us on to victory.

KOJ: Tanya, that is exactly what you do, for me and for thousands of others around the world. Thank you for being yourself and for giving of yourself. You inspire us all to dream big and never give up.

TC: Thank you for the opportunity to share my heart. You know, as I think back to the beginning of our article, I am just amazed. I never knew you were watching me as I was interacting with the inmates. I was just being myself and loving on people as I went through the prison yard—and to think I impacted you. Wow! It just goes to show that you never know whose life you can change and where you can have an impact. To God be photo credit: Ron Kuntz the glory! V

A SECOND CHANCE

by Tanya Crevier

One of the greatest honors of my basketball career was being invited to perform my “Enthusiastic Spintacular Basketball Show” during a halftime show at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. I have been invited to perform at many NBA games throughout my thirty years of spinning, dribbling, and juggling basketballs, but the degree of enthusiasm and energy rushing through this arena was unbelievable. A crowd of over 20,000 people had assembled to watch Lebron James lead the Cleveland Cavaliers to victory.

On this particular night, I was a bit tired, as I had been traveling nonstop, performing across the country. I had been given six minutes to get on the floor, do my show, and then get off the floor. The Cavs have a very strict time schedule, so the pressure was on. Spurred on by the cheers of the crowd, my adrenaline was pumping.

The first few minutes of the show were flawless. I came to the very end of my performance where I spin ten basketballs at one time. I had just enough time left to sit down on the floor, put on my straps, and spin all ten basketballs.

I spun the first ball, then the second, third, and fourth…the crowd was pumped. I was on my way. Then, out of nowhere, I dropped it. Right there in front of 20,000 people, I messed up. I was devastated. With their strict schedule, I knew my time was up. I might as well start packing up the basketballs and clear the floor. As I was processing what to do, the announcer came over the loudspeaker and said the most beautiful words: “Let’s give her another chance!” The crowd went wild.

My helpers on the court quickly gathered my basketballs, and I started over. This time I successfully spun all ten basketballs. Praise the Lord! The crowd thundered with my success. What an amazing feeling to finish that six-minute show successfully.

I will never forget the pressure I was under, the focus I needed, and the perseverance I experienced that night. After my successful second chance, my helpers and I gathered up my equipment, and I went back to the locker room. I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks as I reflected on TANYA FIRST MET how that night had gone. I can’t tell you in words how grateful I was for MURF THE SURF, that second chance to get it right and finish what I had come to do.

THEN AN INMATE, As I sat there in that locker room, I began to think about how IN 1980 AT A BILL God is a God of second chances. He is always ready to help us GLASS EVENT  in our weaknesses and cheer us on to the finish line. Whether we’ve messed up or others have knocked us down, God is by our side, giving us opportunity after opportunity to try again.

How amazing.

I relive that moment often. It was a very positive experience, even though I failed. I mean, I literally dropped the ball in front of 20,000 people! Many people would focus on the failure, but not me. I choose instead to focus on the fact that I finished. I celebrate the truth that I didn’t quit, even when things didn’t go as planned. That evening was a success, despite that moment of disappointment.

Life happens. It’s a given—there will be times when we will drop the ball; we will fail in our attempts at righteous living; we will sin. photo credit: Christy Cabe But we can find comfort in the fact that God is a God of second, third, fourth, and even fifth chances. Never give up. Ever. Keep pressing in to God. Remember 1 John 1:9. Confess your sin and acknowledge TANYA RF U M your need for Him to help you move forward. He will pick you up, forgive D AN  . you, and lead you to victory. Nothing is impossible for God. V Y A TOD www.kojministries.org 19

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RESISTING THE URGE TO GET EVEN The fact that what is good must be pursued is proof that doing the right thing does not always come easily.

I don’t know of a single person who hasn’t experienced some kind of injustice in life that could potentially cripple him and his walk with God. My wife, Denise, and I have certainly seen our share of people who, motivated by a wrong spirit, have tried to hurt us and the ministry over the years. As we determined to obey God in a foreign land and break new ground with the gospel, we have encountered many obstacles.

Most of those challenges have come from people who, quite frankly, intended to stop us dead in our tracks and send us back where we came from.

I wouldn’t be telling you the truth if I said I’ve never spent time contemplating revenge on some of those people who wounded us so deeply. Here’s a part of one such story.

Many years ago in Moscow, there was a man who tried to damage our ministry. Some people in the church knew of the situation. One man, newly converted, heard about it. This man came to me and said, “Pastor, just say the word, and I’ll send someone across town to eliminate the man who has tried to hurt you and our church.”

Before coming to Christ, this man had been involved in the Russian Mafia. In that capacity, I’m certain he’d done some dark deeds in the name of loyalty to his former boss. Newly saved, the only loyalty he understood was retribution, and he viewed me, his pastor, as his new boss. So when he heard that a man had deliberately abused the church and tried to harm our reputation, he responded in the only way he knew.

He was so incensed that he was ready to “get the guy” and thereby send a loud signal that anyone who dared touch his pastor and his church would pay for it.

This new believer continued: “Pastor, I have connections. Just give the word, and I’ll make sure this person will never bother you or anyone else again!”

I had to explain to this man that retribution is not the way we do business in the kingdom of God. “If there is any retribution,” I said, “God will handle it, not us.” I continued by telling him that we are in the business of redeeming lost men, not harming them when we get angry.

Nevertheless, when this newly saved man presented me with his sincere albeit misguided offer, I inwardly chuckled. I had never heard anyone so blatantly outspoken about his desire to get someone.

Then as I thought about it, I wondered how many times Christians have wished they could render some form of justice against someone they were upset with because of something that person had done or failed to do.

by Rick Renner

Any one of us can be tempted to be vindictive from time to time—especially if someone has seriously disappointed us, harmed us or our families or friends, or tried to damage or destroy our personal reputations. But no matter what evil others have done to us, we must remember what the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (KJV): “See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.”

The Greek tense in the verse is not a suggestion, but rather the strongest form of command. When Paul wrote, “See that none render evil for evil,” it could be translated, “I am unquestionably commanding that none of you render evil for evil.” It is absolutely clear that Christians are commanded to abstain from all acts of retaliation and self-vindication.

The word “none” is all inclusive; it lets us know that this order is categorically directed to every single person. Regardless of the circumstance, no one who calls Jesus his Lord should be involved in the practice of rendering evil for evil.

The word “render” in this verse is from the compound word apodidomi. The word apo means back, as to return something back to its original owner or to send something back to someone. The word didomi simply means to give.

When these two words are compounded into the word apodidomi (as we find it in this verse), the new word means to send back, to return, or to pay back. In other words, it is never our task to retaliate, to get even, to get revenge, to make someone pay for what he did, or to settle the score with someone we think did evil against us.

The word “evil” is the Greek word kakos. It describes an action that is harmful, hurtful, or injurious to someone; it’s something done with an evil intent. This word describes the actions of a person who intentionally or carelessly acts to cause some kind of damage or ruin in someone else’s life.

But this verse talks about “evil for evil”—the Greek phrase kakon atni kakon—which carries the idea of a person who thinks, “You did wrong to me, so now I’m going to do wrong to you. I’m going to do to you exactly what you did to me!”

In God’s view, such vindictive behavior is completely unacceptable for committed Christians, even if someone has grievously wronged them.

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it is never your job to pay someone back for what he or she did to you— and that includes withholding a blessing when you are able to give it.

Instead, Paul wrote that we must “ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.” The word “ever” is pantote, a word that means always, at all times, or constantly. The word “follow” is the word dioko, which in historic Greek literature meant to hunt, to pursue, to chase, or to track down and kill. It is the picture of an outdoorsman who is so determined to hunt down an animal that he will stop at nothing to pursue, chase, track down, and ultimately get his game.

Do hunters accidentally bag their game, or do they strategize and plan to get a good kill each hunting season? Hunters strategize! They talk to other hunters about the best places to hunt.

They dress in camouflaged clothes. They often perch themselves high up on tree branches and wait for hours upon hours for an unlucky deer to walk into their path. Once the deer comes within range, they shoot to kill.

Hunters hunt, hound, and stalk their prey until they finally get their game. Then they throw the big catch in the back of their vehicle and head home with their trophy—and the prospect of many good venison meals in their future.

That is exactly what Paul meant when he told us to ever follow that which is good: We must hunt down “good” until we’ve bagged it and obtained the desired outcome.

The fact that what is good must be pursued is proof that doing the right thing does not always come easily. But regardless of how hard it is to do it, you and I must be committed to doing what is good and right. The word “good” in this verse is the Greek word agathos, which means anything that is good, beneficial, or profitable.

You may be tempted to resist being a blessing to or to do anything at all for someone you feel has done wrong to you. But as I just noted, it is never your job to pay someone back for what he or she did to you—and that includes withholding a blessing when you are able to give it.

Paul plainly teaches that it is God’s will that we “ever follow that which is good.” Thus, we must be dedicated to pursuing that which is good, beneficial, and profitable. But must we really do good to all men? Must we seek to do good even to those who have done wrong to us?

Paul answered that question when he wrote that we must behave like this “both among yourselves, and to all men.” The phrase “among yourselves” in Greek is eis allelous, and it unquestionably refers to the relationships that exist among the brethren in church. But we are not only to be in the occupation of doing good to our fellow Christians. Paul also goes on to say “to all men.” This phrase includes those outside the church—those who are outside of Christ and are, therefore, non-Christian.

If you feel someone has committed an injustice toward you or simply treated you badly, and you find yourself wishing you could get back at that person for what he or she did, that is a moment when you must take charge of your emotions. You must remind yourself that vindictive behavior is never God’s will for your life. Regardless of the evil others have committed against you, it is imperative to remember that retribution is not the way to do business in the kingdom of God. It is a good reminder for all of us that we are in the business of redeeming the lost and ministering to the broken—not getting even with people when they upset us! At times, that will require us to dig our heels in and reaffirm our commitment to obey Jesus despite what our emotions are trying to dictate. But by the grace of God and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, this is possible to do. If it weren’t, He would not have inspired Paul to write these compelling words. V

TAMMY’S MIRACLE | from page 8_______________________ It’s so amazing to me that Christ knew of Tammy’s needs two weeks before her letter. It started with that local church being led to start collecting money for an unknown family in need. God worked through the sixty-six men of the Horizon faith-based community and their families’ and friends’ prayers. We all witnessed a miracle as the awesome power of God reached from a prison dorm, across hundreds of miles and a state line, to demonstrate that nothing is impossible with God. Tim’s illness ended up being cancer, and he passed away that June. Beside his bed was a get-well card from the men he thought of as God-sent angels.

The scriptures, words of encouragement, and many prayers prayed were a guide for Tim to experience Christ’s love and accept salvation. V

TRUST FALL | from page 9________________________________ Here are two simple yet profound equations to remember:

Refusing to fall

+ refusing to die = loneliness

Choosing to fall

+ choosing to die = fruitfulness

The choice is yours. The choice is mine. And it is a daily choice. No, it won’t always be easy, but you must remember, you aren’t alone in this process. God is with you. When you come to a place of surrender, where you choose to place yourself in the fertile ground of God’s love, God will complete the transformation in you as you rely on Him. Ask the Lord to search your heart and show you anything in your life that you need to die to, just as David did in Psalm 139:23, so that you can walk in victory. V

Would you like to receive monthly devotionals like “Trust Fall”?

Write to us today!

KOJ MINISTRIES PRISON CORRESPONDENCE OUTREACH

PO Box 328 Starke, FL 32091 www.kojministries.org 21

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l a e R r e A y a r P s ’ r e Sinn

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by Jerem

I wrote this prayer just after finding out that I was not going to be transferred to the west unit work camp of the correctional facility where I am being housed. I was disappointed to say the least. About halfway into writing this piece, I paused to read over what I had written. I found I was only grumbling, complaining, and showing my lack of faith.

As I was about to throw it away, I felt the Lord say, “Don’t stop now.

Let’s hear it. Get it out…continue.”

So I did.

By the end of my writing, I began to feel the peace of God. I became confident, reassured that, no matter what was transpiring with me or around me, God was there and He cared and wanted to hear how I felt.

He let me know that not all prayers have to be full of faith, and I don’t have to pretend to feel the way that maybe I “should.”

When I opened up myself and was honest with God, He took my lack of faith and filled me up. He took my fears and gave me confidence. He took the negative and made it positive.

God took a broken spirit that was ready to collapse and strengthened it with confidence and optimism through a moment of truthful desperation with Him. Come as you are. Leave with Him. V

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When My Spirit Grows Faint

by Kristi Dews Dale

I am sitting on a bench in a busy mall. People hustle past me with arms full of packages, joyfully laughing with friends. Everyone seems to be moving forward…except me. I am frozen with fear. I sit perfectly still, incapable of deciding what to do next.

Desperate, I call my mom. She instructs me to start walking to my car. She promises she will stay on the phone with me. Finally, I fall into the driver’s seat, exhale deeply, and thank God. This happened over a decade ago, but the memory still burns fresh in my mind.

My first anxiety attack struck me in college.

I didn’t even realize what was happening. Over time, these attacks became more regular, and simple tasks became more difficult. Driving, public speaking, even waiting in line at the grocery store became a struggle. I have friends who also suffer with anxiety. One battles extreme anxiety while dropping her child off at preschool.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, anxiety affects over 18 percent of the US population. Many people keep it hidden. They are embarrassed to have a mental health condition. I, too, was ashamed and afraid to ask for help, and I sank deeper into anxiety. As a Christian, I believed I should conceal it, so I tried to fake my way through a myriad of situations, all the while desperate for it to stop. Behind closed doors, I cried buckets of tears, overwhelmed with frustration. I thought I should be able to control my feelings, but I couldn’t. For me, having a panic attack was like drowning while an audience watched, totally unaware that I was drowning. They thought I was swimming.

Privately, I visited doctors. Some helped; some didn’t. I sought advice from trusted friends and family. But if I am honest, I always left these conversations feeling empty. It seemed no one understood my situation or had the power to help me. I guess at first, I didn’t even think God could help me.

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I had been a Christian since I was a little girl, but my faith had been an easy one—no real trials to test my dependence on Christ. Only a few people knew I was experiencing anxiety and the depth of it. But it was in this place of isolation that I finally heard God calling me into a closer relationship with Him. During the many times I drowned in anxiety, I began to look to Jesus to get me through. When I drove somewhere by myself, I buckled the passenger seat’s seatbelt and told myself that Jesus was riding with me. He was all I had, and I needed Him minute by minute. My brain was clouded, and sometimes all I could do was call out His precious name, “Jesus, Jesus.”

And He answered. Faithfully, God began revealing Himself to me as I called out frantic pleas for help. The LORD directed me to the psalms that David had written as he sought comfort thousands of years before.

“When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” (Psalm 94:18–19 NIV).

These sweet words were like a honeycomb for my soul. When I read them, I knew that God knew.

He knew! He saw my pain, my frustration, and my sadness. And He was going to bring me comfort.

Comfort from God washed over me daily as I sought out what His Word said about my situation.

What I learned surprised me. Yes, God would fight for me in this battle against anxiety, but I had to fight as well. I had to stand on His promises and daily commune with Him. When I was in the midst of drowning, I would read scripture aloud. As I did, God upheld me with His righteous right hand and helped me move forward.

Another of David’s psalms became a life verse for me. “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way” (Psalm 142:3).

HIT IT!

God knows my way. My spirit may fail, but His Spirit will never fail. What a relief to recognize God’s sovereignty over my situation. He is here with me, and He will see me through.

My struggles with anxiety have deepened my walk with the LORD. And as I continue to walk in His peace, God has allowed me to serve Him and others. What a blessing!

I encourage you, if you suffer from anxiety, to seek help from loved ones and to look to the Great Physician for peace, comfort, and joy. Take in God’s Word; speak it over yourself in times of despair.

You will never drown when you have the One who walks on water fighting for you. “The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you” (Deuteronomy 1:30). V

is a true, exciting, detailed story of the rise, fall, and resurrection of a real sports champion…

Kristi Overton Johnson.

Get ready to be challenged, encouraged, and motivated!

Purchase your copy at kojministries.org for $14.00 plus shipping and handling.

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2/25/16 10:10 AM

Little Johnny

by Johnny

I read Victorious Living cover to cover, top to bottom, and side to side. I have been inspired by the material within its pages. It is truly a work of art, and it has inspired me to write the following. This is the first time I’ve ever shared my testimony with anyone. I pray it will be used to reach many.

Little Johnny was raised in a small Louisiana town by a very loving mother and father. He had two brothers and one sister. Little Johnny was the youngest.

Little Johnny’s daddy was highly respected by everyone who knew him. He’d worked at a cement company for over twenty-seven years and always made sure his family was well taken care of.

Then, one day in 1969, a hard rainstorm rolled in while Little Johnny’s daddy was putting a tin roof on a three-story building at the cement company. He tried to get down off the roof, but he lost his footing and landed on the hard-packed gravel parking lot.

He was seriously hurt and hospitalized. He spent two years in the hospital, but finally Little Johnny’s daddy was able to come home. Only, now he wore a body cast and was in a wheelchair.

The two years Little Johnny’s daddy was in the hospital had used up all the money they had saved in the bank. The power and gas were cut off, and Little Johnny’s family had to count on other family members and friends for support in order to maintain life.

As the youngest, Little Johnny stayed at home with his parents, while his two brothers and sister stayed with uncles and aunts. Daddy became angry and displeased with his situation. He hated being in a wheelchair. He was frustrated with not being able to care for his family like a man should.

Every day, it got harder and harder for Little Johnny’s daddy to accept the fact that there was nothing he could do about his situation. And every day, he drank more and more alcohol to deal with the pain within his heart.

Over time, Little Johnny’s daddy became an angry alcoholic who was mentally and physically abusive to his wife and family. One day, Little Johnny’s mother was holding him on her hip when she and his daddy began to argue. Daddy picked up an ashtray and threw it across the room at them.

After that, Little Johnny was afraid of his daddy and didn’t want to go around him anymore. He thought that his daddy might attack him again.

Sometimes, his daddy made him go to the refrigerator and retrieve beer for him. One day, Daddy told him to open one of the beers and take a

swallow. Little Johnny did as he was told. His daddy got a good laugh out of this, and Little Johnny saw that this made Daddy very happy. After that, every time Daddy needed a beer, Little Johnny was more than glad to get it, just so he could make his daddy laugh and be happy.

With each trip to the refrigerator, Little Johnny would take bigger and bigger swallows. His mother didn’t like what he was doing, but when she tried to say something, Daddy got angry with her. So she stopped trying.

although Little Johnny is in prison, he isn’t without hope because he found Jesus.

Jesus gave him a new heart and made him a new man.

Many times, Daddy would invite his family and friends to come over for a party, and at these parties there would be both beer and whisky. Little Johnny started drinking the whisky just like he had done the beer. He drank it just like it was water.

By the time Little Johnny was twelve years old, he was a full-blown alcoholic, just like his daddy. No one, not even his parents, could do anything with him. He was his own man and out of control.

He started running the streets and staying out all night long. Sometimes he didn’t come home for days. And when he was home, he was only there to sleep, eat, and shower. Then he would start the party all over again.

By age thirteen, Little Johnny was having run-ins with the law. His parents got him out of it every time, but Little Johnny kept on doing what he was doing. He tried going to school, but school wasn’t nearly as fun as drinking.

He never hung out with kids his age. He hung out with older people. When he and his older friends didn’t have money to buy the alcohol, they would break into a bar and steal it.

By the time Little Johnny was seventeen, he knew he had a problem with alcohol. Deep down inside, he wanted to stop drinking, but the alcohol had too strong of a hold over him. One day, he was drinking by himself and, being drunk, he came up with a bright idea to get some money so that he could party some more. So he called the president of a bank and made a few threats so the president would give up some money.

He never thought the man would call the law, but he did. Little Johnny was taken into custody.

When he went to court, the judge sentenced him to eighteen years in prison. This was in 1979. In 1985, Little Johnny and three other inmates escaped from the Louisiana Department of Corrections and came to Florida. There, they robbed a man for his money, and one of the inmates shot and killed the man. Because Little Johnny was at the scene of the shooting, he was sentenced to life in the Florida Department of Corrections.

Little Johnny is fifty years old now. He’s spent most of his life behind bars and is sad that he has wasted his life in prison. He no longer has any family or friends; they have all passed away, and he is alone. This makes Little Johnny cry, and he prays that the Lord will bless him with God-fearing friends.

But even though Little Johnny is in prison, he isn’t without hope, because he found Jesus. Jesus gave him a new heart and made him a new man.

So now, even in prison, Little Johnny’s life is making a difference. He loves the Lord with all his heart and tries his best to serve Him by ministering every day to the young men within the gates. They can’t believe he has survived in prison all these years, and Little Johnny quickly tells them, it is only by the grace of God. V

24 www.kojministries.org

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Every day, our prison correspondence team receives letters from inmates similar to the one below. Perhaps like Jerome, you are also struggling with grief. We thought Miss Linda's response would encourage your heart.

Dear KOJ Ministries, I was deeply touched by the articles, “The Train Ticket” and “Winter,” both written by Becky Coursen. I share a similar story. Two years ago and four days after Christmas, I lost my girlfriend.

We’d been together since sixth grade. She battled lupus. When she passed, a part of me passed. Still to this day, I sometimes find myself crying because of loneliness. I miss her so much. I often find myself asking God why. For a while, I really felt that I could not live without her. I even attempted suicide.

Lately, I’ve been trying to get closer to God and start a new life. To read this story and know that someone else has overcome the same thing that I’m going through gives me a little strength to move forward.

Dear Jerome, Thank you so much for writing to us at KOJ Ministries. We want you to know our team is praying for you and believing that God will continue to grow you in your walk with Jesus Christ and help you heal as you grieve the passing of your girlfriend.

I am so grateful you were encouraged by reading our magazine, especially Becky’s articles, “The Train Ticket” and “Winter.” The grief we feel when we lose someone who has been such a big part of our lives can be devastating. My husband—my hero, my best friend, and the one who took care of me, both financially and by providing a feeling of protection and safety—also died after a nineteen-month battle with brain cancer. We were married at the age of seventeen and spent the next forty-two years and eight months together.

The adjustments after losing a loved one are crazy to say the least. I want to tell you that the only way I could recover from his death was to saturate myself with God’s Word. The power of God’s Word is absolutely amazing.

Jerome, God still has a wonderful plan for your life, and He wants to fill you with His peace and His

I read about Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries’ Prison Outreach Program. To know that I can correspond with your team really made my faith take a leap. The most important question I have for you is, how exactly do I focus on moving on with life when I’d planned on sharing it with someone who now is gone forever?

I’m thirty-five years old, and I’ll be released from prison in three and a half years. I really pray that God will carry me through. I’m just a beginner in Christ, and I pray every day for help in my walk with Him. I feel having this chance to share my story with you is a blessing from God. Always loyal, Jerome

comfort as you recover from the pain of your loss. Just know you are not alone!

I am enclosing an article that I wrote for Victorious Living in 2013, entitled “Accelerated Healing.” It will give you more details about my own journey through this path that none of us would choose to walk.

I wanted to share some scriptures with you, too, and I encourage you to read them every day. They are: Psalm 23; Psalm 40:1–5; Psalm 91; Psalm 103; Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 41:10; Romans 8:35–39. Highlight them in your Bible and allow the Lord to show you any other scriptures that speak to you.

KOJM DEVOTION HELPS INMATE Dear Kristi, I wanted to write to you and your team in order to share my gratitude.

Your team’s letters and prayers have helped me through a very difficult time in my life. When I found a piece of your October devotional lying in a cell, it gave me the hope that I needed to start reading my Bible again. Since then, with the Lord’s help, my faith has grown extensively, just like the mustard seed you talked about in that devotional.

Please know that none of this would have happened if it hadn’t been for your devotional. Thank you! I’m really looking forward to reading the next issue of Victorious Living. What an inspiration!

Your Brother in Christ, James H

God bless you, and know we are praying for you, Linda

Editor’s Note: Miss Linda references a previous article, “Accelerated Healing,” in her response to Jerome. Our readers can find this article online at http://www.magazinevolume. com/14197AS/#/14/.

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UPDATE FROM KOJ MINISTRIES FOUNDER, KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON It’s only February, and 2016 has already proven to be an exciting year! With newly formed, God-ordained partnerships with First Baptist of Orlando, Inmate Encounter, Texas-based Discipleship Unlimited, and several other prison ministries, KOJM is being positioned to touch more lives for Christ than ever before. As these doors are opening, God is confirming that His will for KOJ Ministries is to equip minds, encourage hearts, and evangelize the gospel of Jesus Christ in the prison system.

Our partnership with Inmate Encounter will provide KOJM the opportunity to be a part of four major Florida events, where at least forty facilities will be invaded with the love of Christ and His message of hope. In addition to speaking at these events, KOJM will provide an element of discipleship to inmates through our Victorious Living publication and our Prison Correspondence Team.

Our First Baptist of Orlando partnership will provide a strong spiritual covering over KOJM. Pastor David Uth and his team have graciously committed to help KOJM move forward in its mission, as well as to help launch a wider, national speaking and singing ministry. This new exposure will open many doors to encourage hearts, gain committed financial partners, and expand our writing team.

We had an exciting addition to our board in January as Jack Murphy (a.k.a. Murf the Surf), joined KOJM in an official position.

Murf’s passion for and knowledge of prison ministry is invaluable; it will give us insight and opportunity to have an even greater impact there. I’ve also joined Murf on Inmate Encounter’s board.

God has shown me that the coming together of these ministries is for a great purpose. I am excited and humbled to be a part.

I give God glory for all these exciting opportunities. Thank you for your prayers and your continued support.

KOJ Ministries is now partnering with Inmate Encounter to bring exciting evangelistic events to Florida Correctional Facilities. Contact KOJ Ministries if you are interested in helping inmates encounter Christ!

Events to be held February 25–26, May 13–14, Aug 19–20, and Nov. 11–12.

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WANT TO HELP? PRAY for our ministry BECOME a correspondence team member SHARE Victorious Living with others INVITE Kristi to your church or organization to share what God is doing at KOJM

SUPPORT our publication and outreaches financially 26 www.kojministries.org VL_Feb2016_rFr7.indd 26

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ONLY GOD The Word of God is so full of real-life adventures and rescue missions that I can only scratch my head and say, “Only God!” It really is the most exciting book ever. Take, for example, the book of Esther. Chapter after chapter of amazing events unfold; plots and schemes by a man who longed for honor and recognition, all aimed at destroying an entire race of people. But God foiled those plots and schemes by raising up an orphan girl to be queen of that vast Persian empire. And all I can say is, “Only God!” Read the book of Esther for yourself. It is amazing. This book reveals the unbelievable evil that resided in the heart, soul, and mind of the man Haman. He was a bad dude. Yet no man, no devil—I’m telling you, no one!—could ever outsmart God and defeat His plans.

It is amazing to me how God destroys Satan’s wicked schemes through the obedience of His people, even through the obedience of people the world would say are insignificant. People like Esther, an orphan girl. God gave her the courage to trust Him when her very life was on the line.

Only God could orchestrate such events, give such wisdom, and take what was meant for evil and turn it into good.

So many people today are looking for significance and satisfaction, but they’re looking in all the wrong places. Like Haman, they want to be celebrated and elevated to places of honor, wealth, and power. They will do anything they have to do to get what they want. But I’m here to tell you, there is no place of honor greater than the one God gives. If we lay aside our aspirations and humble ourselves before God, He will lift us

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by Linda Cubbedge

up every time and use us in incredible ways. Just like He did for Esther.

Here’s the truth: God has a specific plan for all of us, a great purpose in His kingdom. He wants to use every one of us. It’s how He works in this world.

I’ve had so many “only God” moments in my life. I’ve seen Him work in ways that blow my mind, especially in this ministry. I mean, only God could take a retired world champion water skier and give her a heart to reach out to those who are behind prison walls—people who are defeated, hopeless, and lonely—through the power of a magazine and a handwritten card! Only God could lift me up after the loss of my husband and cross my path with this ministry, so that I could be a part of touching lives in such a personal and unique way. Only God could lead people from various parts of the country to support this ministry financially and be a part of our writing team, fulfilling God’s awesome plan of invading the hearts of captives. I am constantly amazed.

But you know what? These “only God” moments only come after obedience. Esther had to obey God and appear uninvited before a king (who could have ordered her death!) in order to set God’s plan in motion. Kristi had to obey God’s voice and go into the prisons so He could reveal to her His heart for inmates. She had to take steps of obedience and make specific changes so she could launch the correspondence ministry and send Victorious Living into prisons. I had to be obedient to step out in faith and leave my job so that I could direct the correspondence ministry full time. And there are twenty-nine precious women

in various states who have answered the call of God to faithfully write to inmates. Through our obedience, we have witnessed firsthand that God does what only God can do!

Our heavenly Father is searching for those who will surrender to Him and allow His plans of deliverance to be accomplished in His way. Will you answer His call? You may feel insignificant, weak, or ill equipped. I know how you feel! But you, my friend, are exactly who God is looking for.

You are exactly who He wants to use to touch this world. And you know what? No enemy can stop you.

Once again, I ask you to read the book of Esther.

I know you will be inspired by all the “only God” events recorded in those pages. Yes, Satan and his workers (people, even) may plot and scheme mercilessly to bring about your total destruction, but God provides deliverance for those who trust and obey Him. He will give you wisdom on how to move forward, and as you take those steps, He will work behind the scenes to foil the most hideous plans of the devil.

In John 10:10, Jesus said that the thief (Satan) comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But he went on to assure us that He, Jesus, came so we could have life—a life more abundant and blessed than we can even imagine. Sounds like a great promise for your personal “only God” moment. V

te inma from ents d n o s sp state corre

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photo credits: Nan Dickson

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CHEST DEEP Often I write about the very limited strength of our physical beings versus the limitless power of the Holy Spirit that resides in us as believers. This is largely in part to my continual pursuit of relying more on God’s Spirit and less on my own physical abilities. I am determined to completely live out this reliance one day soon!

The problem is, I enjoy testing and pushing my physical body to its limit. And as a result, I tend to exhaust the physical before turning to the spiritual.

Recently I was reminded of my body’s weak nature when my adventurous mind led me out to a wintery, snow-covered mountain. My kids were home visiting, and we went on what we like to call an expedition. Now our expeditions aren’t simple.

They usually involve snowmobiles, ski equipment, cameras, and of course, cliffs. We always come back from these expeditions exhausted and having realized our mental and physical limitations.

This particular expedition, however, seemed to be doomed from the start. After hours of careful planning and gathering just the right equipment, we loaded everything into the pickup, hooked up the snowmobiles, and headed to the magic spot. Our plan was to use my drone and four other cameras to catch every angle of us skiing off amazing, backcountry cliffs, with God’s beautiful creation covered in white as the backdrop.

We didn’t get far into our plan before we met challenges. First was a phone call regarding the grave condition of a family member. Next, oil poured out of my pickup truck in the parking area.

We continued, however, snowmobiling into the mountain as far as we could go. Then, we trekked through deep snow for two hours until we reached the cliff area where we began our ski adventure. We were exhausted, but determined to move forward.

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by Nate Miller

As my son chose his jumping and landing spot, I assembled the camera equipment and began to shoot drone footage. Within five minutes, the drone lost its GPS signal and flew away with my camera.

I tried to move through chest-deep snow to see where the drone was headed, but my pole broke, and one of my skis slid down the hill.

And that was when I reached my limit. I was unable to move and extremely frustrated, and my whole state of mind began to deteriorate. Suddenly I didn’t care about the drone, camera, ski equipment, the broken-down pickup, or even my hurting family member. I just stood there feeling sorry for myself.

For me, there is nothing more discouraging than reaching a point where I cannot accomplish what I set out to do. It’s in those moments that I grow frustrated and agitated and, yes, even feel sorry for myself. In this particular situation, my kids and I were simply trying to capture some wild moments on camera…but I must admit, I respond the same way to other life situations. I often grow exhausted and frustrated, leading my family and the ministry God has called me to lead. As a human, I sometimes take on more than I should and get myself into chest-deep situations where I have no business being.

Because of this, I have to constantly remind myself how important it is to be led by the Spirit of God when making decisions. I’m learning that our physical bodies will only be given the grace to do what God leads us to do.

Of course, with God all things are possible. But our minds must be set on the Lord if we want to live a victorious life. Romans 8:4 tells us we should no longer “walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” Verse 6 continues, reminding us that “letting your sinful nature control your mind leads

to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.”

To experience true life and peace, we must daily renew our minds with God’s truth; we must seek His thoughts and His ways so that we know which direction we should go. Then, as we begin to follow Him, we must rely on the Spirit’s strength to move us forward through tough times. Humanly, we will grow weak at times, but God’s strength is limitless.

That’s why we look to Him. Even someone the world considers to have a brilliant, powerful mind is powerless and dead without a mind set on the Spirit.

Well, I eventually made it out of the woods with my family. (I admit, I did make a few references to the Donner Party.) We’ve still not found the drone, but the pickup got us home before it died. Most importantly, our family member who was unwell survived. And we did get a great picture or two.

Will we head out on another expedition? You bet.

But I will take this lesson with me and not allow my flesh to lead me beyond what God is calling me to do. And I’ll remember it, too, as I plan the 2016 In His Wakes Tour. With a jam-packed calendar for both of our teams and more event requests coming in, I need the Lord’s guidance more than ever. I’ve got the road atlas, a giant eraser, and a very large calendar spread out across the couch in my office, and I am reminding myself to stop and pray for the Lord’s wisdom and the Spirit’s guidance. He knows where I should be and how to bring the schedule together. V

DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE STUCK IN CHESTDEEP SNOW, UNABLE TO MOVE? HAVE YOUR MIND AND FEET CARRIED YOU BEYOND WHERE YOU SHOULD BE? STOP AND CALL OUT TO GOD. ASK FOR HIS WISDOM AND STRENGTH. HE HAS A WAY OF WORKING ALL THINGS TOGETHER AND BRINGING BEAUTY OUT OF EVERY EXPERIENCE. www.kojministries.org 2/25/16 10:10 AM

The Lost Is Found

When Nate posted pictures on FaceBook celebrating the recovery of his drone, I couldn’t help but smile.

I know Nate very well; he is a man who truly loves his toys and seeks adventure. I can easily picture him becoming frustrated with the misadventures described in his article, “Chest Deep,” on the adjacent page.

But usually Nate gets over setbacks quickly and continues on to bigger and better things. I would not have expected him to continue searching for three weeks, in snow-covered mountains, for his missing equipment. Talk about persistence!

His FaceBook post read something like this: “After three failed attempts over the past three weeks trying to recover my wayward drone, the lost was finally found! It was a miracle. Yesterday I drove my sled the

by Kristi Overton Johnson

five miles back to the foot of the mountain where I last saw it. After getting stuck four times, rolling my sled twice, and snowshoeing an hour, I found it! An even greater miracle is that everything worked except for one motor. You might think the lesson here is to never give up, but actually, it’s to never buy a drone!

It may cost you more in snowmobile parts than the drone is worth.”

Nate cracks me up. I mean, just look at the smile on his face. Talk about a happy man. His joy fills me with joy and causes me to celebrate with him.

When I read his post, I texted him immediately.

“Nate, so happy you are reunited with your drone!

Once again, your adventures have given me a new, spiritual analogy.”

“Glad I could help,” he responded jokingly.

When I looked at Nate, the master of the drone, celebrating the lost being found, I saw the very heart of Christ smiling back at me. I saw God’s persistent love for His children!

I can only imagine how big God’s smile must be when one of His lost, wayward children comes to rest in His arms. I can just hear Him exclaiming to the

Waging War

angels, “He’s home!

And he still has three motors working!

Let’s have a party!”

(See the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11–32 for some biblical backing.)

God doesn’t look at our broken motors (i.e. our past mistakes), and declare us useless. No way. In fact, He can do more with what remains of us than we can ever imagine. In His hands, our three motors can soar to the sky!

Let Nate’s adventures be a beautiful reminder of how your Heavenly Father constantly pursues you.

Are you lost today? Lonely? Afraid? God is waiting with arms wide open, ready to receive you home.

Don’t worry about your broken motors, just come to Him and give Him what remains.

Matthew 18:12 says that He will leave all the rest who are safe to search for just one. You are that one that God loves and desires to hold close…no matter how broken you may feel. V

by George Beasley A war is being waged against us all. Revelation 12:17 tells us that our enemy, Satan, is very angry against the people of God, and he has “declared war against…all who keep God’s commandments and maintain their testimony for Jesus.” According to John 10:10, Satan seeks to steal, kill, and destroy lives.

Every believer is under attack, but most don’t even realize it. They think their battle is against people, the economy, or circumstances. Some people even think they themselves are the enemy.

Ephesians 6:12 clearly states that “we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

Because most Christians aren’t aware of this battle, they don’t know how to fight in a way they can win. They use natural means to fight instead of the power available to them through their relationship with God. They lash out with words; they plot and scheme; they work themselves to death—all the while, they are beat down by an unseen, crafty enemy. Unfortunately, in the midst of the battle, most Christians go undercover with their struggles. They put smiles on their faces and press on. They are under the opinion that in war, you don’t show your weakness. You just survive.

But we must remember—we are jacked up and a complete mess. We can’t buy into the lie that maintaining our testimony for Jesus means maintaining an image that we are perfect. We are not! Standing with our commander, Jesus, even in the midst of our weakness, is our testimony.

And it is our victory.

So how do we fight? We get real and honest.

We drop the mask and the unreality of our pretense and ask God and trusted friends for help in this war. We do life together and carry each other’s burdens. We cannot fight alone.

Let me ask you—how’s your fight going?

Are you winning the battle, or are you exhausted by the war? Could it be that you are fighting alone or ignoring the battle altogether?

God wants to help you. He loves you, no matter where you are or what you’ve done. And He is in this battle of life with you. He is fighting for you and bringing you the victory. Guaranteed. You as a believer have already won.

Check out what Jesus says in John 16:33: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Jesus has already overcome every enemy you will ever face. Stand with Him, in the power of His might.

Don’t ever give up! You are close to victory. You may have been knocked down and beat up. You may be broke, busted, and disgusted, but you are still alive. You are still in the battle, and victory is still possible. Fight for what you know is true. Fight with all your might. Stand strong in your faith and in the promises of God, and move forward in His strength (see Ephesians 6).

The battle is most difficult near the end, but let me assure you, you will win. Even if you fall during the battle, your commander, Jesus, will pick you up. He will pull you out of your pit, stand you up on your feet, and give you the strength to move forward. Why? Because He loves you and He cares about every battle you face.

So get up and fight. Wage war with Christ. The victory is yours! V

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OUR CONTRIBUTORS

Share Your Story!

Do you have a story of victory? Share it with our readers!

Your story has the power to transform lives and bring much needed hope.

See page 5 for the guidelines and mail your submissions to: Victorious Living, PO Box 120951, Clermont, FL 34712-0951; or submit online at kojministries.org.

GEORGE BEASLEY

KRISTI DEWS DALE

JOAN TYSON

George and his wife, Lisa, are certified marriage mentors in North Carolina. They work with couples to prepare, repair, and maintain marriages according to God’s Word. George is the author of The Invisible Soul.

Kristi is a wife and the mother of three amazing daughters.

She holds a master’s degree in public health and is an adjunct business instructor at a local college in North Carolina. Kristi is passionate about encouraging others with Christ’s love.

Joan lives near the ocean in Virginia. She loves to sing and worship, and she shares the Word of God every Monday on the beach. She has two adult children.

Becky is an artist and a high-school English teacher in Northeast Ohio. She hears God best when she is outside working in her flower beds or spending time with her dog, Buddy, and her brand new beehives.

A former world champion water skier, Kristi is the founder of In His Wakes and KOJ Ministries.

She currently resides in Central Florida with her husband, Tim, and their three children.

NATE MILLER Nate is the president/director of In His Wakes. He lives in Bend, Oregon, with his wife, Ivy. If you are interested in learning more about In His Wakes, contact Nate at nate@inhiswakes.com.

JEREMY WEST Jeremy is a corresponding inmate in a Florida correctional facility.

TANYA CREVIER

RICK RENNER

LINDY WILLIAMS

Recognized as one of the top basketball handlers in the world, Tanya Crevier travels the world sharing her unique “Enthusiastic Spintacular Basketball Show” and inspirational message. When not on the road, Tanya resides in Elkton, South Dakota, with her family. She has been inducted into the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Hall of Champions and is a member of the South Dakota Sports Hall of Fame.

Rick is the author of more than thirty books, including his topselling classics Sparkling Gems from the Greek and Dressed to Kill, which have sold more than a million copies combined. A highly respected leader, teacher, and author within the Christian community, both in the United States and abroad, Rick and his wife Denise have traveled the earth for three decades, teaching the Word of God. They reside in Moscow, Russia, along with their three sons and their families.

Lindy Williams is a woman saved by God’s grace. She and her husband are blessed with three amazing daughters, and she gets the opportunity to teach and guide them every day.

LINDA CUBBEDGE Linda is the director of KOJM’s Prison Correspondence Outreach. She is passionate about the Lord and leading others to Him. Linda has four children, nine grandchildren, and one great-grandson.

BUS STOP

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Joyful ‘toon by Mike Waters © 2007 Michael D. Waters

BECKY COURSEN

KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON

Since leaving her Hutterite colony to follow Jesus Christ, Sheryl Waldner has experienced the power and presence of God in undeniable ways.

Currently living in Canada, Sheryl ministers alongside other former Hutterites to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and share His love. The Nine, as they call themselves, have coauthored two books, available on thenine9.com.

www.joyfultoons.com

Roy writes about his life experiences from a prison cell in Florida. His stories have appeared in many Christian publications. Roy has won AMY Foundation awards in 1998, 2002, 2003, and 2007.

SHERYL WALDNER

THANK YOU A special thank you to this month’s inmate correspondents: Jerome, James, Johnny, and David.

For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, – Colossians 1:13

balloon popper

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Joyful ‘toon by Mike Waters

WILLIAM STEWART STEELE William served in Tomoka Correctional Institution’s Horizon faith- and characterbased community program between 2004 and 2013.

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www.joyfultoons.com © 2008 Michael D. Waters

ROY A. BORGES

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

— John 8:31-32

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Thank you to the following organizations who faithfully support Victorious Living with annual gifts in excess of $500.

When asked why they give, they respond, “Because we care!”

They care about people, and they desire to help many discover true victory.

WHY

I CARE

I support KOJ Ministries’ Victorious Living magazine and prison outreach. Having had a family member in prison at one time, I know how desperate prisoners can be for reading material. I also know that an inspiring story can give a prisoner hope, and we all need hope. As a board member, I have witnessed firsthand the heart behind KOJ Ministries’ desire to touch lives for Christ. I am grateful to be a part of what God is doing through this ministry, both as an advisor and a financial supporter. For just $500, I can sponsor a prison for one whole year and reach thousands of lives! That’s a lot of impact for such a small amount.

Bonnie Hagemann KOJM Board Member

Special thanks to Bill Coleman and Tina Brown for distributing Victorious Living in local areas in Florida and North Carolina.

Would you like to see Victorious Living in your town?

For 500, you can receive a case of magazines (180 copies, four times a year) to distribute at your church, work, local mission or jail, women’s shelter, doctor’s office, or anywhere you think they’d be appreciated!

Call us for more information: 352-478-2098. $

Thank you to all who have supported this outreach!

We need more churches and individuals to help support KOJ Ministries and Victorious Living.

For just $500, you or your church or organization can sponsor our ministry in a prison for one full year. So much can be done through your generous giving. Can you help today?

American Solutions for Business cstallings@americanbus.com Captain’s Party Rentals captainspartyrentals.com Community Church of Keystone Heights communitychurchofkeystoneheights.org Davis Gas davisgas.com Discount Inboard Marine skidim.com First Baptist of Starke fbcstarke.org Greater Greenville Foundation Keystone Plumbing keystoneplumbinginc@yahoo.com Nautique Boat Company nautique.com The Clipping Corner Melrose, FL The Trophy Shop thetrophyshop.com

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GIVE FREEDOM GET FREEDOM

Victorious Living PO Box 120951 Clermont, FL 34712-0951

Non Profit Org US Postage

PAID

Permit No. 610 Jacksonville, FL

People everywhere desperately need to know about God’s power, love, and grace. With your help and God’s Truth, Victorious Living can set captives free!

YES! I Want to Be a Part!

r I’d like to support Victorious Living and share freedom with others ($25 Suggested Donation).

With your donation, you will receive Victorious Living for one year, and we will also send an inmate on our prison correspondence list a personal copy for one year (unless you provide a specific inmate’s contact information as a recipient).

__________________________________________________ Name #1

__________________________________________________ Address #1

__________________________________________________ City | State | Zip #1

__________________________________________________

r Send an additional gift subscription of Victorious Living to the recipient listed below ($25 Suggested Donation).

Email #1

______________________________________________________________________________________ Telephone #1

__________________________________________________ Name #2

r I’d like to sponsor ____ prison facilities to receive a case of each Victorious Living issue for one year ($500 per prison).

Become a Part of the Victorious Living Family Today!

• Go

online at kojministries.org

• Call 352-478-2098 to place order • Fax this order form to 1-888-837-9153

__________________________________________________ Address #2

__________________________________________________ City | State | Zip #2

__________________________________________________ Email #2

Telephone #2

A card will be sent to recipients on your behalf to inform them of your gift!

If you would like to send more than one gift, please list names on a separate piece of paper.

r Check attached (make payable to Victorious Living) r Debit (include voided check) r Mastercard r VISA r Please automatically renew my partnership!

Donation Amount _______________________________________________ Cardholder Name (please print) ____________________________________ Card Number __________________________________________________ Expiration Date ________________________________________________ Credit Card Billing Address (required)________________________________ Signature_____________________________________________________ If you have any questions, please call 352-478-2098.

Mail completed form and Victorious Living Support to: Victorious Living • PO BOX 120951 • Clermont, FL 34712-0951 or fax to 1-888-837-9153 Send all inmate correspondence to Starke, FL address on page 4.

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