VL - Issue 23 - February 2017

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE

Quarterly Publication | Issue 1 2017

A Publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries

Discover a Life Worth Living VL_February17rF.indd 1

2/28/17 2:24 PM

I WAS IN

PRISON And You Visited Me.

Matthew 25:36

SEND VICTORIOUS LIVING TO A PRISON INMATE To learn how to send a copy or to join us in other partnership opportunities, see back cover.

ARE YOU AN INMATE WHO NEEDS ENCOURAGEMENT? Every day, inmates reach out to KOJM through letters asking for prayers and encouragement as well as discipleship opportunities to help them grow in their faith.

Every inmate who contacts KOJM receives in-depth monthly devotionals, personal letters from ourVictorious Living Correspondence Team, and a quarterly copy of Victorious Living.

BECOME A PART OF OUR VICTORIOUS LIVING FAMILY TODAY! WRITE TO:

VICTORIOUS LIVING CORRESPONDENCE OUTREACH PO BOX 328 • STARKE, FL 32091 VL_February17rF.indd 2

2/28/17 2:24 PM

VL_February17rF.indd 3

2/28/17 2:24 PM

Thank you to the following organizations who faithfully support Victorious Living.

When asked why they give, they respond,

“Because we care!”

Thank you to all who have supported this outreach!

We need more churches and individuals to help support KOJ Ministries and Victorious Living. For just $1,000, you or your church or organization can sponsor our ministry in a prison for one full year. So much can be done through your generous giving.

Will you help today?

American Solutions for Business cstallings@americanbus.com Captain’s Party Rentals captainspartyrentals.com Community Church of Keystone Heights ccokh.org Davis Gas davisgas.com Discount Inboard Marine skidim.com First Baptist Orlando firstorlando.com

First Baptist of Starke fbcstarke.org Greater Greenville Foundation Long’s Chapel Methodist longschapel.com Keystone Plumbing keystoneplumbinginc@yahoo.com

Nautique Boat Company nautique.com The Clipping Corner Melrose, FL The Trophy Shop thetrophyshop.com

Hi! My name is Shelby, and I am ten years old.

Victorious Living is my favorite magazine. I try to read it a lot, especially before I go to bed. My favorite stories are about Matt Manzari and Kristi Overton Johnson. Matt was electrocuted, and God helped him. It was amazing getting to meet Matt and Mrs. Kristi, since I have read about them. Matt took me to get ice cream, and Mrs. Kristi gave me every issue of Victorious Living! Now I can read more inspiring stories about God’s faithfulness. I pray that God will make every issue of Victorious Living be better than the one before so people, even people who don’t believe in Him, will know that God has a purpose for them, just like He does for me.

Shelby Age 10

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE ISSUE 1, FEBRUARY 2017 My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. Psalm 62:7 Publisher & Executive Director | Kristi Overton Johnson f

Editor | Rachel F. Overton, Wordscapes Executive Assistant | Deena Mapple Accounting Manager | Gizzella Guba Director of Prison Correspondence | Linda Cubbedge Creative Director | Amy Zackowski, Whispering Dog Design Inc. Partnership Support | victoriousliving@kojministries.org f

Contributing Writers Lauren B., Jennifer Beagle, George Beasley, Sarah Beckman, Linda Cubbedge, Kristi Dews Dale, Domenic Fusco, Keith Kory Gordon, Tasha Griffiths, Justin Griffin, Matt Holder, Floyd M. Howard, Kristi Overton Johnson, Teresa Kemp, Alyson Maupin, Chris Patton, Thomas Turski f

Cover Photography | Spencer Shultz Photography | Geri Simpkins f

Faithful Distributors Special thanks to Bill Coleman and Tina Brown for distributing Victorious Living in local areas in Florida and North Carolina f

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Scripture marked AMPC is taken from the Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC). Copyright ©1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Scripture marked ESV is taken from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Permanent Text Edition® (2016). Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible (public domain). Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Scripture marked NKJV is taken from the New King James Version of the Bible®. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson. All scripture versions are used by permission. All rights are reserved, worldwide.

HOW TO REACH VICTORIOUS LIVING Receive a Personal Copy • See this issue’s back cover • Visit kojministries.org • Call 352-478-2098 • Write to Victorious Living PO Box 120951 Clermont, FL 34712-0951 • Bulk copies available, call 352-478-2098.

Submissions • Submit your story online at kojministries.org • Due to Internet restrictions, inmate submissions should be mailed to: Victorious Living Outreach PO 328 Starke, FL 32091.

ALL Inmate Correspondence • Mail correspondence to Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach PO Box 328 Starke, FL 32091

VICTORIOUS LIVING MISSION

The purpose of Victorious Living is to declare freedom for the captive through true testimonials of God’s grace, love, and power in the lives of everyday people.

A captive is anyone enslaved to their circumstances, relationships, thought patterns, habits, or emotions. A captive can be incarcerated or living in a free society.

Captives can be of any age, gender, race, and socio-economic background.

4 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 4

2/28/17 2:24 PM

CONTENTS

7 Is God Waiting on You?

Are you looking for direction or purpose in life? Don’t just stand there. Step out in faith.

Alyson Maupin

8 Just Ask

Got questions? God has the answers.

Just ask!

Linda Cubbedge

9 Be Crystal, Not Plastic

A life surrendered to Christ can move from ordinary to extraordinary.

Kristi Overton Johnson

1 0 God, Are You There?

We’ve all asked this question. God’s answer is constant: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

George Beasley

This issue of Victorious Living focuses on

God’s unconditional love and neverending mercy. Our cover story includes the testimonies of three women who hit rock bottom but are now shining brightly as they serve Jesus Christ with all that they are. Jennifer, Teresa, and Tasha are undeniable proof that when you surrender to Christ, you’ll find you have A Life Worth Living, that you are Forever Changed, and that your struggles were All for God’s Glory.

6 Publisher’s Note 25 From the Father’s Heart 26 Ministry News 27 Reader Testimonies 30 Our Contributors

1 1 A New Chapter

You can’t move on to the next chapter in a book if you keep rereading the one before.

It’s time to let God turn the page in your life.

Lauren B.

1 2 A Life Worth Living

Hiding in a closet from a man bent on killing her, Jennifer Beagle cried out to a God she didn’t know and didn’t even believe in.

Despite her past, God heard her cry and came to her rescue. Now Jennifer helps other women, lost and dying, to find the life-changing love of her Savior.

Jennifer Beagle

1 4 Forever Changed

Abused, addicted to drugs and alcohol, and waiting trial on state and federal charges— if Teresa Kemp did believe in God, it was only so she could blame Him for the evil that was in her life. Yet today, she is the founder and director of Breaking Chains International, faithfully proclaiming the hope she found in Jesus Christ.

Teresa Kemp

1 6 All for God’s Glory

Criminal charges, probation, drug dealing, sexual immorality, and prison—these were all part of Tasha Griffiths’ existence. But she is proof that no matter how far you have fallen, God offers full restoration through faith in His Son. Tasha Griffiths

1 8 Come to Yourself

When you come to the end of yourself, look up. Like the prodigal’s patient father, God is waiting to restore your life to one that is worthy of a child of the King.

Keith Kory Gordon

1 9 Forget Balance, Go All In

Surrender the struggle for a balanced life by dedicating yourself wholly to God. He will bring meaning to chaos.

Chris Patton

2 0 The Blessing of Benita

Sometimes we find our biggest blessings in humble, even uncomfortable, service.

Sarah Beckman

2 1 God Is Never Too Busy for You

In the crazy busyness of life in 2017, it’s easy to feel alone and neglected. But God is with you; His love is constant and unending.

Kristi Dews Dale

2 1 Do You Know God? Kristi Overton Johnson

2 2 From Behind the Chair: An Interview with Matt Holder

A popular hair stylist tells Kristi how God used cancer to bring him to a place of complete surrender and ultimate victory in Christ.

Kristi Overton Johnson

2 6 A Father Who Never Fails

Unlike earthly parents who often fail their children, God, your heavenly Father, will never abandon, disappoint, or hurt you. He is faithful, and He loves you unconditionally.

Domenic Fusco

2 8 One Step at a Time Thomas Turski

29 Me?

Worthy? Finding Forgiveness for Yourself

If God has forgiven you (and He has), it’s okay to forgive yourself.

Anonymous

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 5

VL_February17rF.indd 5

2/28/17 2:24 PM

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

Timeless Words

“THE GRASS WITHERS AND THE FLOWERS FADE, BUT THE WORD OF OUR GOD STANDS FOREVER.” ISAIAH 40:8

The stories you are about to read in this issue not only have the ability to bless you but to change you from the inside out.

Just the other day, I was waiting in the salon to get my hair done when I noticed numerous magazines scattered on the table. I laughed as I remembered reading a magazine in some office somewhere a while ago and coming across a story about a certain celebrity’s ongoing relationship with another celebrity. I was shocked.

I thought they had divorced years ago.

I read a few more articles and kept coming across news that just seemed…strange. Then it hit me. I turned the magazine over, checked the date, and realized the magazine was years old.

Everything I’d been reading was old news. It did not reflect current situations or events. Even the health articles were no longer relevant—so much of what experts had recommended then, they were questioning now.

I tossed the magazine back onto the table.

What was the use of reading it?

Then I thought about this magazine, Victorious Living.

How awesome it is to publish a magazine that is always relevant…a magazine that is forever timeless.

How can this be? Because you are about to read stories about God’s faithfulness. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. What He did then, He will do now. And what He did for our contributors, He will do for you. God never changes, and His Word never fails.

Because Victorious Living is distributed in the

prison system, we get numerous letters from inmates. Many testify to the timeless impact the magazine has on their lives. Victorious Living has a very long shelf life in prison; inmates constantly come across issues that are years old. But no matter how old the magazine, the words inside still have the power to change lives. And they do, every day.

You can trust that what you are about to read is truth. These are real stories from real people, sharing the real hope they have in Jesus Christ.

Story after story reveals the goodness of God to restore wholeness to once broken lives. As you read these stories, you may be able to relate to the trials our contributors faced. Our prayer is that their stories will give you great hope and draw you to the One who is ready to set you free and make you whole.

Even if you haven’t experienced the difficulties our contributors have, however, let me say that the hope, love, forgiveness, and grace they found are the same hope, love, forgiveness, and grace we all need. Life is tough no matter who we are, but the answer to all our problems is the same—it’s Jesus. Psalm 111:7–8 says, “All he does is just and good, and all his commandments are trustworthy. They are forever true, to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity.” In these pages, you will meet Jesus and discover through the testimonies of our contributors just how faithful, loving, and good He is.

I hope you enjoy this issue. I pray that the Lord will open your eyes and heart to His good plans for you.V

6 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 6

2/28/17 2:25 PM

IS GOD WAITING ON YOU?

by Alyson Maupin

Are you waiting for God to answer your prayers or perhaps reveal direction that will lead you to your life purpose? Have you been waiting a long time? What if God is waiting on you to move forward in faith?

So many stand still, waiting to see God’s answer to their prayers or to hear some thunderous instruction for life before they dare to take a step forward with Him. They study their Bibles, pray, and read books while they wait.

They listen to podcasts and do exhaustive soul searching, but still…they remain where they are.

Now don’t get me wrong. There isn’t anything wrong with any of these things. In fact, we should read our Bibles and pray. But often answers don’t come and our purpose isn’t revealed until we move out with God into the unknown. Answers and purpose don’t usually lie around on our couches. They are more often revealed in the doing or in the going.

Do you remember the story of the lepers, told in Luke 17:11–14? Ten lepers cried out to Jesus, begging Him to heal them. Jesus looked at them and said, “‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’

And as they went, they were cleansed” of their leprosy (NIV, emphasis added). Similarly, in John 4:49–51, an official pleaded with Jesus to come to his home to heal his son. Jesus told him to go back home; his son would live. The man believed Jesus and started home. While the man was on his way, some servants met him with the news that his son was alive and well.

Likewise, it was in Abraham’s laying his son, Isaac, on the altar that God provided a ram (Genesis 22:10–14). It was in Noah’s building of the ark that he was saved from the flood (Genesis 6-7). It was in David’s using the slingshot that he defeated the giant (1 Samuel 17:48–49). It was in Moses’ raising his staff over the Red Sea that the waters divided so he and the Israelites could escape the Egyptians (Exodus 14:16, 21). It was in the woman’s reaching toward Jesus that her issue of blood was healed (Luke 8:44).

Often there is a movement or action we must take. This forward motion is called trust and obedience. We must obey what we know God has told us to do. We must believe what God has told us already. The Bible says a person’s faith without works is dead (James 2:20).

Focus on taking steps to discover your purpose or direction in life. Expecting God to reveal your

VL_February17rF.indd 7

purpose before you start taking any action is like expecting the automatic doors at the grocery store to open before you start moving toward them. To open automatic doors—and to discover your purpose—you must start where you are and move forward, often one unsure step at a time.

And then, just like in the grocery store, you might come to a second set of doors, and then a third. Each set requires you to move toward it before it will open. Automatic doors only open one set at a time. It’s like that in life, too. As you take steps forward with God and maintain a heart tender toward Him, doors will open.

And what if they don’t? At those times, you may find that God is leading you to turn right or left or go down a different corridor with a different set of doors. You might think you know exactly where the doors are leading, but then God guides you to make a turn you weren’t expecting or makes an adjustment you weren’t anticipating.

That’s okay. Once you start moving, you can be sure that He will open the right doors at the right time, and what God has purposed will be revealed.

But sometimes, instead of moving forward and taking action, we use God’s perceived silence as an excuse to do nothing. We say, “If I knew what God wanted me to do, I’d do it. But since I don’t, I’m not going to do anything at all.” And we sit and sit and sit…becoming so completely focused on ourselves and our “purpose” that we probably wouldn’t recognize it if God Himself took us by the hand and led us to it.

I know it’s hard not knowing the exact next step we should take. But there are many things that God instructs all of us to do—and we need to be doing those things at all times. One thing is for sure…your purpose (and mine) will always be focused on others. We are called to love and to forgive. We are all commanded to feed the hungry, help the poor, and take care of the widows and orphans.

Every one of us, no matter who or where we are, is called to serve God while we wait for Him to reveal our more specific purpose. And while we do that, we study our Bibles and pray.

Many times, our specific purpose arises out of a general purpose anyway, so we might as well start trying the things we are interested in and enjoy doing. In doing those things, we will

SO MANY STAND STILL, WAITING TO SEE GOD’S ANSWER TO THEIR PRAYERS OR TO HEAR SOME THUNDEROUS INSTRUCTION FOR LIFE BEFORE THEY DARE TO TAKE A STEP FORWARD WITH HIM. THEY STUDY THEIR BIBLES, PRAY, AND READ BOOKS WHILE THEY WAIT. THEY LISTEN TO PODCASTS AND DO EXHAUSTIVE SOUL SEARCHING, BUT STILL… THEY REMAIN WHERE THEY ARE.

begin to see where we have the greatest impact in people’s lives. We can trust God to lead us to more specific things.

If your “automatic doors” aren’t opening, maybe they represent a lesson God wants you to learn or a skill He wants you to acquire or something He wants you to experience before He moves you forward. Only He knows when you are ready to pass through the next set of doors. And you don’t want to move forward until you are ready.

The truth is, you can’t experience much of anything unless you are willing to step out with God. In John 5:5–8, Jesus met an invalid by the pool of Bethesda. This man had waited thirtyeight years to be healed. He’d probably spent much of that time suffering and feeling sorry for himself. But Jesus simply told him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

Could Jesus be saying the same to you?

Commit this year to getting up and moving toward the door God has set before you.

He is waiting. V kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 7

2/28/17 2:25 PM

Just Ask

I love asking God questions…but for years, I didn’t even know I could. I thought the only ones allowed to ask Him questions were preachers and really old people. (No offense to older people; I am a senior adult myself!)

I was shocked to discover that God loves for His children to ask Him questions. He is always ready to walk us through His Word to discover His answers and His truths. Let me share how He did this for me. It was absolutely life changing.

As a new believer, I would hear preachers say, “You need to pray.” But I didn’t know what that even meant! I knew the food prayer—God is good, God is great—and the nighttime prayer—Now I lay me down to sleep—but that was about it.

Anyway, not knowing how to pray, one day I simply asked the Lord to teach me. His Spirit led me to study the Lord’s Prayer, found in Matthew 6:9–13. This passage shows Jesus teaching His disciples (and us) how to pray.

I learned we are to begin prayer by worshipping God, declaring that our Father in

by Linda Cubbedge

heaven is holy. We are to pray for His kingdom to come and His will to be done on earth as it is in Heaven. (This led me to further study what God’s will is on earth— now I pray for God’s specific will to be done in my life and in the lives of my loved ones every day.)

I also learned we are to ask God for our daily bread. I ask Him for spiritual, physical, and financial nourishment. We are also to ask God to forgive us of our sins, and we are to forgive others. This prayer model taught me to ask God to lead me away from temptation and to deliver me from the evil one. Finally, I learned to close my prayer with praise, proclaiming God’s kingdom, His power, and His glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Learning how to pray totally changed my life.

It has given me an immense desire to spend time with my heavenly Father in prayer.

Prior to this study of the Lord’s Prayer, my knowledge of Jesus was limited. I knew I was saved and I was going to heaven, but I had no idea I could actually enjoy a close relationship with Him here on earth. Prayer brought me into that close fellowship.

Learning about prayer led me to the next phase of getting to know God personally— making a day-by-day commitment to read His Word. I need to tell you (as I told God), I really did not like reading His book. (Yeah, you know, the Bible.) I figured God already knew this since He knows everything, yet I felt prompted to admit it to Him. So I did. I told Him it was boring and I simply didn’t understand it. And it scared me too.

It’s funny when I think back. There I was, telling God I didn’t like His Word…but I had never even read much of it. (Reading has never been a favorite activity for me.) But isn’t that just like us to criticize something we don’t even take the time to read or study?

But since He had answered my question about prayer, I decided to ask God to give me a desire to read His Word. When I look back, all I had to do was start in the New Testament and read about the ministry of Jesus. It was pretty simple stuff—Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus delivers, Jesus opens blind eyes, and Jesus gives

life. He reaches out to the ones the world rejects and discards. For goodness’ sake, I should want to read it!

Thankfully, God was and is continually patient with me. Once again, He answered my request.

He not only gave me a desire to read His Word, but He gave me the opportunity to learn it. For the next nine years, my husband and I taught children’s church in Pennsylvania. I got on-the-job training as we prepared the lessons each week. And in doing so, God’s Word became precious to me.

The Bible says we have not because we ask not.

So ask!

With all my heart, I believe God was prompting me to simply ask Him to teach me how to pray and to ask Him to give me a desire to read His Word. He wanted to show me more. Now I love asking God questions! And you know what?

He never scolds me when I do. On the contrary, He longs for me—and you—to ask for His wisdom and His grace to navigate through life.

James 1:5 says, “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” In fact, Hebrews 4:16 says He invites us to come boldly to Him with our needs.

God is the best teacher ever, and His classroom is always open! He’s just looking for students who desire to learn of Him. Are you such a student?

Perhaps you too need a hunger for God’s Word or need to learn to pray. Maybe you have questions like I did. Just ask God. Maybe you are tired and weary, and need to be filled afresh with God’s love and joy. Just ask God.

8 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 8

2/28/17 2:25 PM

JUST ASK | from page 8__________________________

Be Crystal, Not Plastic

by Kristi Overton Johnson

Maybe your mind, body, or heart needs to be healed. Just ask God. Maybe you don’t even believe in God or that He is good and loves you, but you’re curious.

Just ask God. Ask Him to open your spiritual eyes, melt your cold heart, and draw you close to Him so you can become a part of His family. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

Maybe you have an addiction or are enslaved to wrong thinking. Ask God to help you and to show you the root of its cause.

Maybe you are torn between following Him and the world. Ask Him to give you an undivided heart, one that will follow Him and live for Him. The Bible says we have not because we ask not. So ask!

Ask in faith, believing that God wants to reveal more of Himself and do more in you than you can even imagine. The best way to know God is to get in His Word. Without it, you won’t even know what belongs to you as His child; you won’t know how good He truly is. Every answer you need is found in the Word of God and in His presence.

But remember, asking involves humility.

Asking is admitting you need help.

Learning from God is a process, a daily adventure. We are blessed with the privilege of coming to Him, spending time with Him, talking to Him, asking of Him, hearing from Him, and sharing our concerns, hurts, and pain with Him. It’s not a chore. I used to think it was. Now, I don’t have to spend time with God…I get to!

Spending time with Him benefits my well-being; it’s where I find every answer for life.

More than anything, I want you to know that Jesus is the best friend you will ever have. He is available 24/7. He is never grumpy or touchy. He is the most precious treasure in all creation. My love and devotion to Him continues to deepen as I put Him first in my life and seek to learn of Him. I pray that your love and devotion will grow as well.

So go ahead—ask and experience a life that is filled with more of the goodness of God than you ever knew possible. V

VL_February17rF.indd 9

Have you ever admired how God has used someone’s life to impact the lives of others?

Have you ever wished you could be used that way?

Second Timothy 2:20–21 tells us exactly what we need to do to position ourselves to be used by God. It says, “In a wealthy home, some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”

When I read this passage, I think about my own house and the utensils that I have available for my use. As I take a mental look around, I see plastic and paper utensils as well as glass, stainless steel, and casual earthenware. I also see crystal, silver, and fine china. I think about the occasions for which I use these various items. Paper and plastic items are used for convenience. My earthenware, glass, and stainless steel utensils are used for everyday purpose. My fine china, silver, and crystal, however, are used for special purposes and special people.

I believe Paul is telling us that there are people in this world who will live common, ordinary lives. But there are also people God will be able to use in special ways for special purposes. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live an ordinary life. I don’t want to be plastic. No, I want to prepare myself to be used

by God in a special way. I want to be crystal!

How does God use us in special ways? Do we have to be seen as special by God? Do we have to be specially chosen by Him? Do we have to be particularly gifted?

Not according to this passage. The secret lies in verse 21: “If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”

God has created each of us for a specific purpose. The key to being used by Him in a special way, however, is something we hold… it’s up to us! If we choose to keep ourselves

pure, we will be special utensils in God’s hands. We can be the ones He uses to touch the world.

God is more than ready to use every one of us in special ways and for His special purposes.

He is just waiting for us to purify our hearts and minds and set our lives apart for Him. When we do, we become ready for God to use for every good work.

Imagine what God could do through His people if we all decided to live, think, speak, and act differently from the world. What if we were determined to get rid of anything that offends the heart of God or hinders our walk with Him? What if we made ourselves ready for Him to use?

One thing is for sure—this world would be full of special utensils being used for honorable purposes. It would never be the same. We would never be the same!

You—yes, you!—have been created by God for an incredible purpose here on earth. What are you waiting for?

No matter who or where you are, determine to live a life that honors God. Give your whole life to Him and purify your heart and mind. As you do, God will change your life from ordinary to extraordinary. This year, let God transform you into the crystal He created you to be. Purify yourself today. As you do, God will do amazing things among you and through you. V

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 9

2/28/17 2:25 PM

God, Are You There?

by George Beasley

“Hey, Mike, you there?” I whispered.

“Yes, George,” the small voice always answered, “I’m here.”

I can’t tell you how much comfort and peace his voice and words brought me in a time of great trouble.

Being locked in a closet for what seemed like days was normal for me and my brother, Mike. Each day our mother would drop us off at the daycare. After she left, the daycare person would smile at us and without question tell us to get into that closet.

It was so dark and lonely in there. I would go to my corner and pull my knees in tight to my chest and rest my head on my legs. My brother would go to the other side of the closet and sit there with his legs crossed. I could see this right before the door closed, right before the darkness set in.

Each day I would ask that same question, “Mike, are you there?” And he would always respond in his reassuring voice, “Yes, George, I’m here.” He never asked if I was there; he seemed to be a great deal stronger than me. Perhaps he’d been through this darkness before and was now there for me.

What comfort and assurance I received from Mike’s voice. It was so close. Not many words were spoken, but what was spoken was enough. Mike was there with me in the darkness. That knowledge alone gave me the strength to get through each day.

This memory is a recent one for me. It just arrived a few months ago. Having suffered years of abuse in my childhood, memories like these often surface one by one without warning.

Why has it come back to me now?

Over the past few months, I’ve been reading the Gospel of John. John 6:16–21 caught my attention: That evening Jesus’ disciples went down to the shore to wait for him. But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn’t come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum.

Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough. They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!” Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!

Have you ever found yourself overcome with fear? Have you ever encountered such darkness and waves that you’ve cried out, “God, are You there?”

I’m in that place now. No, it’s not the closet of my youth, but it sure feels like it. My wife, my sweet Lisa, is facing the darkness of cancer. She hasn’t been feeling well for quite some time. After many doctor visits, we found ourselves sitting in front of an oncologist. Not a place we ever thought we would be. I’m still a bit numb as I write this now.

Cancer is never a word you expect to hear. As soon as it was spoken, Lisa and I felt darkness closing in all around us. Crushing our hands together, we silently asked, “God, are You there? Did You hear these results? It’s cancer, God. Cancer!”

His answer at first seemed a bit foggy. As a believer, I know that, yes, of course, He is here. But at times, I still find myself fighting the darkness and asking God why. Why does it seem we must go through one dark closet right after another? How much can we take?

I now understand that the release of the memory of my sitting in that closet, dark and lonely for so many days, is for today. It’s a memory God has allowed to surface to bring me, and perhaps you, to a place of peace and comfort. To remind us that, even in our darkest times, we are not alone. He is there with us, never abandoning us, never forsaking us. Always giving us the strength to make it through.

Hold on to that hope, to that truth, and let it be your strength and comfort in your dark time.

It hasn’t been easy, but Lisa and I are finding that place of peace in the darkness as we look to the light of our Savior. Yes, God is with us, and it’s going to be okay, no matter the outcome. God is stronger than cancer. He is brighter than the darkest night. He is the healer and the redeemer of life. And He will see us through this dark season and the next.

“God, are You here?”

“Yes, George, I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” V * Editor’s Note: Since the submission of this article, George and Lisa have received the wonderful news that she is cancer free. To God be the glory!

10 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 10

2/28/17 2:25 PM

A New Chapter Damaged, alone, used, broken, exposed, unimportant, and unloved. That’s how I felt for years because I had been sexually abused by a trusted adult. To my recollection, the abuse started around second grade, and it ended my freshman year of high school. Those years of abuse exposed me to a way of life that no person should ever experience, and it left profound wounds, misguided trust, and a deep feeling of hopelessness.

For decades, anxiety, anger, bitterness, and a reluctance to forgive consumed me. Hatred and disgust invaded my daily thoughts. To put it mildly, the abuse left me shattered.

IT IS NOT UNTIL WE SHARE OUR BROKENNESS THAT WE FIND WE’RE NOT ALONE AND LEARN THAT WHAT WAS ONCE BROKEN CAN BE MENDED.

It doesn’t take being abused for ten years for someone to feel broken and alone. We’ve all had experiences that led to heartache, disappointment, and pain. But it is not until we share our brokenness that we find we’re not alone and learn that what was once broken can be mended.

My story is one of hope and restoration. I want you to know that no matter what obstacles you have faced, even sexual abuse, there is hope.

John 10:10 affirms that the devil is a thief.

He comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. For years, he sought to kill, steal, and destroy the abundant life that God had died to give me. I gave away many great years of my life to the negative feelings that were attached to the abuse I’d suffered. I devoted time and energy to focusing on the hurt, anger, bitterness, and brokenness inside me, instead of giving them to God so He could restore my life.

For years I went in circles, trying to cover up, fix, heal, and hide the effects of the abuse.

by Lauren B.

But covering up my pain was not the solution.

Eventually it rose to the surface, deeply affecting every relationship I had, as well as my ability to cope and to move forward. No matter how hard I tried to act as if everything was okay, it wasn’t. I was broken.

Thank God for the truth of Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

That was me…brokenhearted and crushed in spirit. Have you ever been there?

You are not alone. You have a comforter and a friend in Jesus Christ. He is with you, close by, no matter how rough your storm may be. He is just waiting for you to come close to Him so that He can restore your life.

During the last of my high school years and early years of college, I felt so far away from God. I had grown up in a Christian home; I went to church every Sunday and attended youth group. But going to church didn’t shield me from the effects of sin in this world. Nor did it cause me to be close to God. That was a choice I would have to make on my own. But it did provide a foundation that eventually led me to my Healer, my Comforter, my Provider, and my Restorer.

After college, I finally chose to draw close to God, and it was there that I found my hope and restoration in Jesus Christ. I began to change, and my outlook on life was forever altered.

The closer I drew to God, the more I realized that I needed to start looking to Him and His promises instead of staying focused on my past. It was like reading a book—you can’t move on to the next chapter in a book if you keep rereading the last chapter. It was time to let God move me to a new chapter in my life.

Isaiah 43:18–19 NIV says: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

God is ready to do new things in our lives, but we can’t move forward if we keep focusing on the past. Hebrews 11:15 also teaches that if we long for things of the past, we will go back to them.

We must look toward the new place God has for us instead.

IT WAS TIME TO LET GOD MOVE ME TO A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE. God does not want us to spend our entire lives living in the past. But the devil does, and he brings up our past to keep us there. He wants us stuck in our pain, bitterness, anger, and self-pity so that we can’t move forward to the future God has for us.

According to Jeremiah 29:11, that future is a good one, filled with hope and purpose.

But before I could focus on God and His promises, I had to deliberately choose to let go of the past. That included forgiving the man who had abused me. I couldn’t hold onto the bitterness in my heart and expect to be free of pain.

Forgiving him was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I realized that forgiving him wasn’t about excusing what he had done. It wasn’t about whether he understood the repercussions of his actions, or even if I felt like he deserved forgiveness. It was about my fulfilling my responsibility to forgive those who had hurt me, just as Christ had forgiven me (Ephesians 4:32).

Sometimes I had to forgive him multiple times a day, as the pain continued to rise in my heart.

But through that choice, my freedom came. As I was obedient to let go, forgive, and focus on Christ, Jesus restored my life, healed my heart, and renewed my mind. He made me new!

You know, He can do the same for you. No matter what situation you’ve faced in the past or whatever you’re dealing with now, God is near.

He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow (Hebrew 13:8). He is the God of restoration. He takes our worn-out, destroyed lives and makes them new. Joel 2:25 promises that God will give back to you what the enemy has stolen.

Your journey of restoration can begin today.

Draw near to God and His Word. Hold tightly to His promises and let them be the source of your hope (Isaiah 61:3-5). Give your yesterdays and todays to Him. Forgive those who have hurt you, and God will direct your tomorrow. Let Him lead you into the next chapter of your life. V

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 11

VL_February17rF.indd 11

2/28/17 2:25 PM

T

here is nothing more inspiring than meeting people who live passionate, powerful, and impactful lives. It is especially encouraging when those same people have overcome incredible odds to live so victoriously.

The three ladies you are about to meet are such people. I met each one while ministering in prison and was immediately drawn to them. Their joy and passion is contagious and inspires me beyond words. If I hadn’t heard their stories, I never would have known the incredibly painful lives they once lived.

These women are living proof of the power of God to transform and restore lives.

Because of addiction and abuse, they were once dead in sin, but they are now very much alive and are taking the world by storm, using their past failures and present victories, all for God’s glory.

I invited all three ladies to participate in a combined photo shoot for this issue. They hadn’t met each other until that day, but as I expected, they became fast friends. Their unique yet similar accounts of redemption and the power of God’s love immediately bound their hearts together.

I trust you too will be drawn to and inspired by their powerful, life-changing stories of freedom. As you read, be reminded of this truth: what God did for them, He can do for you!

May I introduce my friends and God’s girls—Jennifer Beagle, Teresa Kemp, and Tasha Griffiths.

12 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 12

A Life Worth Living IT’S NOT JUST CRIMINALS WHO NEED GOD’S GRACE. IT’S EVERYONE.

by Jennifer Beagle

Life has not been easy for me or my siblings.

I was the baby of six, raised in a country home in the small community of Wilcox, Florida, better known as “our neck of the woods.”

There were no traffic lights or paved streets, just dirt roads and train tracks. My siblings and I played in our yard with nothing more than our imaginations. We lived on a small farm with lots of animals. Our many chores reflected the fact that we grew our own garden, canned our own vegetables, raised our own dinners, and churned our own butter. We were a disciplined bunch, and our spankings were applied by switches we picked ourselves.

Living on a farm meant we were tough. We had to be to survive. Nothing was easy…not even walking down the road to our house. Any moment, we might be chased by dogs or even a rooster! (Yes, I said a rooster.) I hated that rooster…right up until the day Daddy made chicken and dumplings out of him.

Dogs, roosters, chores, and spankings were the least of my problems, however. Because our country home was so far in the woods, not many people knew the condition of our home life. It was plagued with affairs, alcoholism, abuse, and much brokenness.

A normal evening consisted of Daddy coming home late after work, drunk as could be. Almost instantly, he and mother would be fighting, and fear would overtake my siblings and me.

“Help! Help!” my mother would cry out, and inevitably, one of us kids would sneak out a window and run to a neighbor’s house to call the cops. But then Mom would push Daddy out the door and tell him to run before the cops could get there.

And he did. Every time.

Something happens deep within when a child sees a gun pointed at her mother’s head, her car purposely run off the road, and bruises placed upon her body. Something happens when that same mother locks her children out of the house at midnight so that her boyfriend can come in and take over. And something happens when that child is touched

in inappropriate and disgusting ways by her uncle, and no one comes to help her.

I know, because that something happened to me.

As a child living in so much pain and fear, I did the only thing I knew to do…I reached out for attention and comfort. Drug dealers gave me attention, and drugs and alcohol gave me comfort. By the age of eleven, I was a full-blown alcoholic and drug addict.

The “system” soon came to my rescue—I was placed in a foster home at the age of twelve.

One would think I would be safe now, but I wasn’t. I had a foster mother who lay in bed all day, addicted to pain pills, and a foster dad who took pleasure in molesting me in the adjacent room.

A year later, I went back home to live with my mother. By that point, I was completely numb and had given up on life. I quit school with an eighth-grade education, and I quit “family.”

I decided it was time to live on my own and run my own life since those in charge surely didn’t know what they were doing. Well, I ran it all right…straight into the ground with men, drugs, and utter chaos.

At nineteen, I married a man twice my age and got pregnant immediately. I had no idea how to raise a child, so I reached for drugs to help me cope with my new responsibilities.

When my son was barely a year old, I left my first husband and

photography by Spencer Shultz

2/28/17 2:25 PM

found my second, also old enough to be my father. During my second marriage, I began using what would become my drug of choice—crack cocaine. I still remember the day my sister-in-law introduced me to that drug, and I remember her immediately selling me to the dealers. I was a “purty little thing,” they said.

It was easy to betray my husband with both drugs and men. Like my parents, my husband was abusive. He beat my son and me daily. By the time I was twenty-four, I had divorced my second husband, lost my job, sold my home for $1,500 (for a hit of drugs), and lost my son.

I became a homeless prostitute living in fullblown survival mode. For the next seven years, I lived on the streets of Gainesville, Florida, where I experienced a new level of hunger and poverty. I ate out of garbage cans and slept on the ground.

I accumulated a three-page arrest record and was on the North Central Florida most wanted list. My drug habit was easily costing me $1,000 a day—but more than that, it was costing me my life.

By this time, I weighed a whopping eighty-five pounds, soaking wet. I was staying up for five, six, even seven days straight, high on drugs. I was dying, all in the name of addiction.

But on November 5, 2001, everything changed.

I was locked in a closet hiding from a man who was attempting to kill me. He was commonly known as my sugar daddy. Eventually, I passed out behind those locked doors. When I woke up, I was done. I had finally had enough of this life, and I cried out to God—a God I didn’t know and didn’t even believe in.

“God, if You are real, please…take my life. I just want to die!” I pleaded.

Psalm 18:4–6 says, “The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me. But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.”

On that day, inside that closet with ropes of death entangling me, God heard my cry and came to my rescue.

It’s hard to explain, but in that single moment, something changed within me. For the first time in my life, I just knew that everything was going to be

okay. I had a peace that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).

When I walked out of that closet, I stepped into the life that Jeremiah 29:11 says God had planned for me—into the abundant life John 10:10 says Jesus died to give me. And the first thing I did was walk straight into a church.

I thought for sure lightning bolts would strike me dead, but they didn’t. The poor lady at the welcome center looked horrified.

She wasn’t sure what had just walked through the door! I was a complete mess.

She called on the help of a woman named Patsy, a beautiful lady and former Beauties of America pageant winner, representing the state of Georgia. Patsy took me under her wing and mentored me both in the Word of God and in life.

She taught me how to walk, dress, and act in a way that would honor and glorify God. As a prostitute straight off the streets, I had a lot to learn.

God used Patsy and the love and acceptance of other precious women in this church to drastically change my life. They opened their homes and allowed me to be a part of their families. I can’t tell you how special their trust made me feel. In Christ and through these women, I became part of something I had always longed for…a family!

I’ll be forever grateful.

When I went to the church, there were three warrants out for my arrest. I soon knew the right thing to do would be to walk straight to the jail and turn myself in. So that’s what I did, and I did it with my head held high.

How? Because when I walked into that jail, God was with me, and I was no longer who I had once been. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” I was forgiven and no longer carried guilt and shame (1 John 1:9).

My transformation, however, didn’t happen overnight. Thankfully, God was faithful to help me.

And as I was faithful to my commitment to be a follower of Christ, He taught me so much.

First, He taught me that I was a princess and not a pauper. I didn’t have to beg Him for things—I was His child, and He actually wanted to lavish His love on me and give me good things (Matthew 7:11;

Once entering jail on charges, now Jennifer Beagle enters jail as the hands and feet of our Savior.

Romans 8:32). He showed me that I am beautiful in His sight, fearfully and wonderfully made, even though at the time I had sores on my face and rotten teeth from my history of drug use (Psalm 139:14).

He also showed me that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). With His help, I could resist the powerful temptation of drugs and alcohol. And I did.

God took this country girl on a journey of finding her identity in Him. And in Him, I found a new life, a new normal.

No longer did I have pain or fear. No longer did I feel lost or confused; instead, I discovered that God does not give a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

In Christ, my life became powerful. I was no longer merely surviving; I was thriving! God took my life and made me an instrument that He could use to help others.

With His help, I have founded three nonprofit ministries, and I currently serve as the women’s director of House of Hope in Gainesville, Florida.

There, I help women in crisis discover their true identities in Christ. In addition, I now travel all over the world, sharing my story of hope. I have to smile when I think about how I used to need permission from the state to leave the county, and now I have a passport to travel the world!

All things are possible with God. continued on page 17

NO CHILD’S GOAL IN LIFE IS TO GROW UP, BECOME AN ADDICT, AND GO TO PRISON. I AM PROOF THAT, NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP YOUR LIFE HAS BECOME, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.

VL_February17rF.indd 13

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 13

2/28/17 2:25 PM

Forever Changed

by Teresa Kemp

Whenever I share my story of God’s great grace and mercy toward me, I have to ask myself, “Did all of that really happen?” I am so changed, so different from the person I once was. If it weren’t for mugshots and a long list of felony and federal charges, I would question it.

One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 27:13, AMPC: “[What, what would have become of me] had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!” I know exactly what would have become of me if the Lord hadn’t intervened in my life. I would be dead and in hell right now.

Oh…but God! He stepped in and brought me, His child, to the saving knowledge of Himself. He took my once broken life and made it into something beautiful.

God really can do the impossible!

You see, I was an addict and an alcoholic for eighteen years of my life. I was arrested seven times.

The last arrest threatened me with forty years in prison. I began doing drugs around the age of sixteen

and progressively allowed addiction to consume my life. It was like I had moved out and the drugs had moved in.

It’s so important to understand that no child’s goal in life is to grow up, become an addict, and go to prison. That’s Satan’s goal. He’s our enemy. John 10:10 AMPC says, “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy.”

Did you get that? Satan, the thief, comes only for evil—to steal from us, to kill us, and to destroy us! And that is exactly what he planned for me.

Beginning when I was very young, he attacked me with sexual abuse, and over the years, he reinforced those feelings of hurt with rejection, abandonment, shame, more sexual abuse, and finally drug addiction.

My mother prayed for me for eighteen years. She and my father tried everything to get me help. But nothing worked. They had given up hope that their daughter would ever come home.

But God intervened, and I was forever changed.

The last time I was arrested was in April 1997. Can you believe I was arrested because I didn’t even know who I was? I was unable to tell the officer my name. I had come to the end of myself. If it hadn’t been for the intervention of a powerful God, I would have surely died. I could smell death. At one point, I thought I was hallucinating, but I’m certain now that demons were coming to get me. In fact, as we were being arrested, my partner in crime said, “Today, someone is dying, but it’s not me!”

I was so deeply entrenched in my pit that even the possibility of death didn’t frighten me. I thought it would probably be a reprieve from the hell I was already experiencing here on earth.

I was brokenhearted, in so much pain. All the drugs in the world couldn’t make the pain go away.

Trust me, I’d tried. It wasn’t that my feelings had been hurt; it was that my life had been completely shattered. I felt like Humpty Dumpty. Remember the rhyme? “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again.” My life truly seemed beyond repair.

SATAN, THE THIEF, COMES ONLY FOR EVIL—TO STEAL FROM US, TO KILL US, AND TO DESTROY US! AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE PLANNED FOR ME. 14 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 14

2/28/17 2:25 PM

IT’S NOT TRUE, THE SAYING THAT ONCE AN ADDICT, ALWAYS AN ADDICT. I KNOW THIS, BECAUSE WHEN JESUS SETS YOU FREE, YOU ARE FREE INDEED (JOHN 8:36). GOD CAN FREE HIS CHILDREN FROM ANYTHING, AND HE CAN FREE THEM FOR GOOD.

When a person is brokenhearted, they no longer know how to live. Both my mom and sister used to say just that: “The problem with Teresa is, she doesn’t know how to live life.” And they were right. When something is broken, it fails to function as it should. That was me.

The enemy broke me right at the beginning of my life. I was five when a teenage boy sexually abused me. I know now that Satan broke me as a child in the hope that he could steal the life that God intended for me—a life of hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

But God had different plans.

If we read the rest of John 10:10 AMPC, Jesus says, “I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” That is what Jesus did for me!

I remember the day He touched me and set me free. It’s like it was yesterday, even though it happened almost twenty years ago.

It was a beautiful July morning—to be exact, it was July 20, 1997, at 9:30 a.m. I was being held in Seminole County Jail, waiting to be transferred to another county where I would face sixteen state charges. I was also waiting to be sentenced to federal prison for other crimes.

I had started going to church while in jail, but it wasn’t for God. I was only going there to meet my partner in crime, to figure out how we could get out of our situation. Truth be told, I didn’t want God. I blamed Him for all the bad in my life, and I was pretty sure He didn’t want me either.

But again, God had different plans.

One day in chapel, the chaplain told my partner and me to be quiet. With my mouth closed, my ears were finally opened to hear about the unconditional love of God and His forgiveness. My initial thought was, “This lady must be smoking some bad dope. How could God love me?”

I was the complete opposite of God; I was everything that is not of Him. First Corinthians 6:9–10 says: “Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are…prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or

photography by Spencer Shultz

VL_February17rF.indd 15

are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” I was everything listed in these verses!

But as I started listening to the Word of God, I realized that I could be forgiven, changed, and delivered from my way of life. The Holy Spirit had begun to work in my heart. I knew there had to be something more.

It wasn’t until I learned that my sister had died that I finally surrendered myself and came into a real encounter with a Living God. Never had I felt so much pain. There wasn’t one place on my body that didn’t hurt from my grief. But God used the brokenness I felt from her death to begin in me a process of transformation from my mess into His abundant life!

Truthfully, I surrendered to Christ because I didn’t want to be separated from my sister for all eternity. I wanted to see her again. So on that July morning, I gave my life over to Jesus Christ, not for Him, but for her. And I told Him that.

I also said, “God, if You are real, either touch me or kill me. I can’t live like this anymore.”

The moment I uttered those words, right there inside my cell, a wind blew over me. I don’t know where it came from, but the Bible talks about how a person must be reborn by the Spirit. In John 3:8, Jesus said the Spirit is like the wind, moving where it wants. That day, the wind of God’s Spirit came right into me. I remember gasping, and as I did, I said, “You really are alive!”

The wind blew, and every bit of pain left my body, from my toes all the way up to my head. In an instant, the drug addiction that had tormented me for more than eighteen years was gone. I was totally free.

Remember how I said earlier that the drugs had moved in, and I had moved out? Well, on July 20, 1997, the drugs moved out, once and for all, and Jesus moved in!

It’s not true, the saying that once an addict, always an addict. I know this, because when Jesus sets you free, you are free indeed (John 8:36).

God can free His children from anything, and He can free them for good.

Second Corinthians 5:17 says, “Anyone who belongs to Christ, has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun.” On that day, I became new. I had been dead for most of my life, but now I was alive. I had been blind, but now I could see. I had been an addict, but now I was free.

I was so happy, so elated at meeting Jesus, that my sister’s death didn’t consume me anymore. I no longer cared about the prison time I was facing.

I just wanted to be with Jesus. I wanted to be in His presence. I wanted to serve Him all the days of my life.

That was almost twenty years ago. It’s been quite an adventure!

Because of God’s goodness and mercy, I didn’t have to serve those forty years in prison. I only served three—half in state prison and the other half in federal. Looking back, I tell people that I didn’t go to prison at all. I went to a Bible school with a good security system! In prison, God gave me the time I needed to grow in an intimate relationship with Him and to study His Word. I was released in 2000.

Since that time, God has done amazing things in my life. He has allowed me to graduate from college and work in prison ministry for over fifteen years. I am now an ordained minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He’s helped me run and build two homes for women coming out of prison and start a faith-based dorm in Polk County Jail. I’ve traveled with Joyce Meyer Ministries, sharing my story of transformation for over six years. I’ve ministered in Africa and India over eleven times. He’s even helped me write a best-selling book called Forever Changed: A Story of God’s Transforming Power. With His help, I’ve founded (and lead) the nonprofit organization, Breaking Chains International. Breaking Chains is committed to reaching the lost for Jesus at any cost.

Isn’t God something?

I am proof that, no matter how messed up your life has become, there is always hope. God can fix anything and anyone. I know, because He fixed me. And if He did it for me, He can do it for you!

With Jesus, your life can be forever changed.V

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 15

2/28/17 2:25 PM

All For God’s Glory

by Tasha M. Griffiths

The enemy clearly intends to harm us, but if we are willing, God can take what Satan meant for our harm and accomplish His good (Genesis 50:19–20).

As I look back on my life decisions, this truth becomes crystal clear.

From the very beginning, God had a plan of restoration for my life. And by His grace, He brought me from a place of darkness and brokenness into wholeness and light.

Music has always been my passion. I guess you could say it was in my blood, as my father and his family were musicians too. But instead of using this passion and gift that God had given me for good, I spent my young adult life playing dark music for an enemy that wanted to destroy my life (John 10:10).

I immersed myself in death metal, heavy metal, and blues-based rock in Nashville, Manhattan, and Tampa. That social environment, heavy and evil, led me to extreme drug use, addiction, and, of course, all the behaviors that go along with being enslaved to a substance.

Negative influences and a mind bent toward evil led to criminal charges, probation, jail stays, drug dealing, sexual immorality, and total selfcompromise. My behavior denied any presence of a Living God. It wasn’t until a near-death accident almost took my left leg that my life began to change. I spent over a year in Tampa General Hospital having my leg reconstructed. While there, I received Jesus Christ as my Savior. But even though I knew of His love, I still battled a sense of unworthiness. I had done so many evil things in my life, how could God possibly love me? And what could He possibly do with my life? Surely I had gone too far for Him to be able to use me. Buying into those lies, I felt only worthy of the loss and hurt I had experienced in life.

So I ran. I ran from the God who loves me, the God whose arms were open wide, the God who was ready and willing to restore my life completely and use it.

All the while, God was waiting for me to come to Him. I accepted Christ, yes, but I continued to hold to my old way of life. I lived with one foot in the kingdom and one in the world. Take it from me—you can’t run with the world and God at the same time. At some point, you will have to choose.

My choice, once and for all, came when, at seven months pregnant, I was beaten beyond recognition. I lost my hearing and suffered broken bones.

My son and I survived by God’s hand of protection alone. Desperate and exhausted, I finally cried out to my Father God in total surrender. At last I understood that if I truly wanted all that Christ had for me, I would have to commit my life wholeheartedly to Him. I would have to choose Him over the world.

God’s answer to my cry shocked me.

Because of a violation of probation charge, I was sentenced to prison.

Looking back, I’m thankful for God’s answer of prison, because prison preserved me. It protected me. And it saved me.

In prison, I was finally in a place where God was able to speak life into the broken places of my heart. As I waited in the county jail to be transferred to prison, God used a woman named Stephanie Miller to speak hope and life to me. Her words still affect me to this very day.

A former prisoner, Stephanie had served four major bids in Lowell Prison.

Upon her release, she received permission from the state to return to prison and tell other inmates how God had mended her broken life. I saw Jesus in her as she spoke. The way she ministered to me caused me to want to give that same hope to others.

A year later, as I slept on my prison bunk in Gadsden Correctional, the Holy Spirit woke me and led me to John 4:1–15. It is the story of Jesus speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well. I sensed God urging me to insert my name each place she was mentioned and make her hope my own.

He showed me that, just like He had with the woman at the well, He also knew everything about my life. And yet with that knowledge, there was no condemnation…only love and grace.

God was offering me the same hope He had given that woman. I could drink of His living water—His Word, His presence—and never thirst again.

I could finally lay aside that heavy pot of emptiness I had carried for so long.

God also promised that He’d give me a new song to sing. It was time for me to use my passion and talent for music for His glory, not my own. It was also time to tell others what Christ had done for me, just as the woman at the well and Stephanie Miller had done.

Upon my release from Gadsden, I began telling others of God’s living water.

Incredibly, God blessed me with

I HAD DONE SO MANY EVIL THINGS IN MY LIFE, HOW COULD GOD POSSIBLY LOVE ME? AND WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY DO WITH MY LIFE? SURELY I HAD GONE TOO FAR FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO USE ME. BUYING INTO THOSE LIES, I FELT ONLY WORTHY OF THE LOSS AND HURT I HAD EXPERIENCED IN LIFE. 16 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 16

photography by Spencer Shultz

2/28/17 2:25 PM

the privilege of accompanying Stephanie into various facilities. I now go into compounds, jails, and prisons with her and other prison ministries and share God’s living water with all who will listen. I tell them just how valuable they are to God and remind them that, no matter what they’ve done, God still loves them and can use their lives in powerful ways. My prayer is that God’s touch will heal them and call them to step into His kingdom work. There’s no greater place or calling.

And now, through this magazine, I can share all of this with you. No matter how much evil surrounds you, I want you to know that God is faithful to His promises, and He is faithful to you. He has an ultimate plan to turn around all the evil, hurt, and loss you have experienced, and use it—and you!—for His good and glory.V

A LIFE WORTH LIVING | from page 13____________________________________________________________

Because of Him, I regained custody of my son, and our relationship has been totally restored.

Christopher is now twenty-six years old, has a bachelor’s degree from the University of Louisville, and is serving in the US Army. I am one proud momma! He recently married an amazing, godly woman, and I got to officiate the wedding.

What an honor…God is so good! Now they are expecting their first child together—yes, I’m going to be a grandmother!

God has also enlarged my family by enabling me to adopt two children from the foster system here in Florida. With my criminal background and as a single mom, that was a miracle in itself.

And then, He blessed me with a godly husband.

John and I just celebrated our second anniversary.

I had waited for God’s gift of a husband for almost fourteen years. Incredibly, John had also adopted children—together, we have five adopted children!

Our family is truly a picture of God’s amazing love and grace.

Have you ever thought about the fact that, no matter what our backgrounds, we all need God’s gift of grace? It’s not just criminals who need God’s grace. It’s everyone. After all, we’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).

Thank God, He made a way for us to receive forgiveness of sin and abundant, eternal life through His Son, Jesus. Our faith in Jesus is what saves us. There is nothing we can do to earn our

salvation. It is a gift of God (John 3:16; John 10:10; Ephesians 2:8–9).

You know what I find amazing? It’s that God demonstrated His love for us by giving up His Son while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). He doesn’t wait for us to clean up before He loves us and calls us His own. In my case, God met me in that closet and accepted me just as I was. And He will do the same for you—He promised! Romans 10:13 says that whoever calls on His name will be saved.

The true meaning of the word “saved” means to be made whole. God made me whole, and He can make you whole, too.

As I reflect, I can see the hand of God moving through my life. Yes—even through quitting school in the eighth grade, never continuing my academic education, bouncing around foster homes and jails, being raped multiple times, having a twentyyear drug addiction, being homeless for eight years, and even through losing my son—through all those years of a most lonely and isolated life— GOD WAS THERE! He has promised to never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:8). He has truly taken what the enemy meant for evil and turned it all for His glory (Genesis 50:20).

He can do the same for you. All you have to do is say yes to Him. Say yes to His life, a life worth living! He is the God of unfailing love, compassion, and goodness. V

I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Please, Lord, save me!”

How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.

Let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. He has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. And so I walk in the Lord’s presence as I live here on earth!…

O Lord, I am your servant; yes, I am your servant, born into your household; you have freed me from my chains. I will offer you a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord. I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.

Psalm 116:1—9, 16—18

Share Your Story!

DO YOU HAVE A STORY OF VICTORY? SHARE IT WITH OUR READERS! Your story has the power to transform lives and bring much needed hope. Here are the guidelines: • Submissions are not guaranteed to be included in the magazine.

• Submission is acknowledgment of your granting KOJM and Victorious Living publication rights to produce your submission in this magazine and other ministry publications.

• Photos submitted must have photographer’s and each photographed subject’s consent of use. Photographer’s name must be included. Hard copies of photographs will not be returned.

• Victorious Living does not pay for submissions. photography by Spencer Shultz

VL_February17rF.indd 17

• Submissions must not exceed 800 words and are subject to editing.

• Submit your story online at kojministries.org • Due to Internet restrictions, inmate submissions should be mailed to: Victorious Living Outreach, PO Box 328, Starke, FL 32091.

• Victorious Living is a free quarterly publication distributed to KOJ Ministries partners, at various distribution locations, and within the prison system. kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 17

2/28/17 2:25 PM

COME TO YOURSELF Most of us know the story of the prodigal son that Jesus told in Luke 15:11–32. A wealthy man had two sons. One son asked his father for his inheritance and then ran away to a far-off land, where he wasted it on unwholesome living.

Eventually, he hit rock bottom and found himself working in a field with pigs. Starving, he even longed to eat the pigs’ food. Finally, he came to himself and realized that he needed to go home and be reconciled with his father.

The story says: “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him” (Luke 15:20 NIV). As the son humbled himself and confessed his wrongs to his father, his father restored his sonship.

What a beautiful picture of our relationship with our heavenly Father. He’s waiting for us to come to ourselves and return home to Him, so He can have compassion on us.

Like many of you, I am a prodigal son. And this is my testimony of coming to myself and having my sonship restored.

I was raised in a home of chaos. My mother was a Christian, but my stepdad was an addict with constant suicidal tendencies. My mom taught me so many wonderful things about God, but my father figure introduced me to a world of insanity filled with rage and drunken binges.

Once on Christmas, he went crazy and destroyed our Christmas tree with a shotgun. The cops took him alive, but not before he bit one of their fingers off.

My young mind absorbed two ways of life. I never doubted that Jesus was the only way to

by Keith Kory Gordon

truly live, but drugs, alcohol, and crime lured me away from truth.

As early as nine, I was smoking weed and drinking alcohol. By twelve, I was raiding every medicine cabinet I could find in search of narcotics. My drug use gained momentum seemingly overnight. By fifteen, I’d frequented my first rehab. The cycle of abuse led to a long run of felonies and near-death overdoses that led to rehab institutions and prisons.

But God never took His eyes off me. He continually pulled on my heartstrings to come back home. He also kept a shield of protection over my life as I ran wildly all over the country, enslaved to drugs and entangled in crime.

I was rescued in 2007, when the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department found me nearly overdosed on animal tranquilizers. I was sentenced to three years in the Florida Department of Corrections.

In prison, I continued doing the same things that had landed me behind bars—hustling, getting high, and trying to have a “good time.”

With only 150 days until my release, I caught ten new felonies. I stood before the judge, crushed by my own stupidity, as I received ten additional years on my sentence.

You would think that would teach me a lesson, but it didn’t.

With the loss of so much life and freedom— as well as losing my grandparents—I returned to the system and went harder than before. My drug use accelerated and expanded. I was also enslaved to pornography. I was like a zombie… the walking dead. I was completely empty, constantly trying to fill that internal void with drugs and dark pleasures.

But all of that was about to change.

On March 6, 2014, I was taken back to the county jail for outside court. Once in my cell, I saw a Bible in a box under my bed. It seemed to call my name. That’s when I heard these words whispered to my spirit: “How long are you going to run from Me?” I tried to resist, but eventually I got down on my knees and surrendered to God. “You can have my life, all of it,” I cried, “but You have to free me from these drugs!”

This was my moment of coming to myself and returning to my heavenly Father.

I spent the next two months praying, fasting, and studying God’s Word. I returned to prison a new man. I had left as an enemy of the cross and returned carrying my own cross (Matthew 16:24).

For the first time since I was a child, I was not enslaved to drugs. God empowered me by His grace to walk according to His Word. I made a covenant with God that I would never profit from drugs again, even if it meant going without. God was faithful to put people in my life who blessed me financially and who visited me often.

I was overwhelmed with joy, peace, and gratitude. But there was still something missing.

A deep longing for a wife rose in my spirit. The need seemed unshakeable. One day, another inmate handed me a two-page prophecy on my life. He told me that God had placed it on his heart to give to me.

Line after line confirmed its authenticity. Then I came upon these words: “I hear your concerns resounding in your spirit. Your concern is for your mate. She is coming in My timing.”

HOW LONG WILL YOU RUN? WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO COME TO YOURSELF AND RETURN HOME TO YOUR FATHER?

18 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 18

2/28/17 2:25 PM

Forget Balance…Go All In!

Keith and his wife Kasey serve the Lord together despite their circumstances.

This God-sent note went on to tell me that God was going to provide a wife. It described her personality and the effect she would have on my life. A short time later, I met a church administrator, a mighty woman of God. She was not only beautiful inside and out, but she was completely sold out to Jesus. We fell in love immediately, and on April 2, 2016, we were married at Franklin Correctional Institution. God is good.

My wife and I have a passion for prisoners, and we are seeing God do amazing things in the hearts of inmates and staff. He has allowed me to serve as chapel orderly at Franklin, and my wife lives in a town nearby.

We both long for God to use our story to lead others home to their heavenly Father.

I share this story to give you hope. God is a good Father. Nothing is impossible for Him. Perhaps like me, you are a prodigal son or daughter. How long will you run? What will it take for you to come to yourself and return home to your Father?

It’s time to come home. Your Father’s arms are open wide, ready to restore your life, set you free, and bless you with every good thing. V

VL_February17rF.indd 19

I often hear Christians discussing, even complaining, about how difficult it is to balance their faith, relationships, career, social lives, etc.

Well, I too have sought to live a balanced life in those areas. And like many, I’ve looked to the world to help me in my quest.

The world caters to our desire for balance. Go online, and you’ll find an endless array of products, courses, and articles containing the keys to creating a balanced life. There are apps for our computers and mobile devices, accountability groups, and elaborate calendars—all designed to help us maintain the right balance of time for each area of our lives. A whole industry exists off this desire!

It seems like a worthy goal.

As Christians, we desire a life that feels balanced between all our activities. For example, we don’t want to give too much time to our hobbies and ignore our work. Nor do we want to work nonstop and ignore our need for rest and fun. Likewise, we want to serve God, but we don’t want to ignore our family in the process. We often find ourselves wishing we had more hours in the day because we can’t seem to make it all fit.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of those trying to find this balance never quite get it right. It seems like a forever struggle. But what if I were to tell you that finding balance isn’t what God desires at all?

In fact, this goal is in direct conflict with scripture.

If you don’t believe me, then read the following question an expert in religious law asked Jesus in Matthew 22:35–38: “‘Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?’

Jesus replied, ‘“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.”

This is the first and greatest commandment.’”

Note the three uses of the word all. When you read back over these verses, do you get a sense of balance? Do you feel led toward a balanced life or one that is 100 percent focused on Jesus?

I must tell you that balance is the last thing I think about when I read this passage. Instead, I get the sense that every aspect of my life should be focused on God and His purposes. In fact, I get the feeling that anything less than 100 percent focus on Him is out of balance.

So, what is the answer to finding a feeling of balance? Colossians 3:23 tells us: “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.”

by Chris Patton

The answer to that feeling of imbalance is to do everything for God. We are to focus on Him and His will for us, and we are to do this in every area of our lives.

As we approach our work, we are not to seek a healthy balance there. Instead, we should ask God what He desires from our work. We should study His Word and strive to apply it in every way as we fulfill our job duties and responsibilities. We should give 100 percent of our work to Him and seek to do it in a way that points others to Him. We are to do the same in every area of our lives—in our family relationships, our hobbies, our social lives, etc. While it might seem like this will lead to greater imbalance, it is my belief that God will cause the opposite to happen.

If we are truly seeking His leading in every area of our lives, don’t you think He would lead us to a balance that honors Him? Too often, we forget that “the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength” (1 Corinthians 1:25 NIV).

I am convinced that if we follow His greatest command, He will give us a life that is patterned according to His balance. And that’s a life I want to live! V

I GET THE FEELING THAT ANYTHING LESS THAN

100 % FOCUS

ON HIM IS OUT OF BALANCE.

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 19

2/28/17 2:25 PM

The Blessing of Benita

by Sarah Beckman

Her frail body lay motionless, but I could not mistake the pleading in her eyes. Her arms were no larger than the width of two of my fingers side by side. I could have fit both of her ankles in the singular grasp of one of my hands. I could see every one of her ribs. I could barely hear her voice, but when she motioned for me to rub her neck, I knew exactly what she meant.

More.

And no matter my comfort level—with her frailty, malnutrition, near nakedness, and near death body—I had to comply.

God had brought me to that place, on that day, to that bedside…for that woman.

Benita.

I rubbed lotion first on her legs, one at a time, starting with an “easy” part of her body in an effort to acclimate myself to the pain I saw in her eyes and in the plethora of patients around her. I needed to keep myself together. I needed to perform the one function I’d been brought here to accomplish—to deliver life-giving touch to the patients at this hospital in Carrefour, Haiti.

To say I’d never done something like this before would be an understatement. I’m really good with words, but I’m not really good at caring for people this way. I’m able to step into hard situations, but mostly when I know what I can do to help. But when you walk into a room full of women who are sicker than most people will ever witness— even those in health-care professions—you have a decision to make.

Will you cave to your emotions and be paralyzed by the depth of hardship you see? Will you run in retreat? Or will you grab a bottle of lotion and begin—one arm, hand, leg, or back at a time—to bring refreshment and hope to someone who desperately craves the attention of loving hands and the replenishing balm you bring to their parched limbs and spirits?

It was in our last room of the day that I was summoned to Benita’s bedside by her daughter, Joanna, to tend to her mama. Joanna spoke fairly good English, a bit of Spanish (she wanted to practice on me, to no avail—je parle français), and Creole of course. And she wasn’t letting me get away with just massaging her sweet mama’s legs.

As I finished with Benita’s legs, Joanna grabbed my arm and moved me upward to her mother’s arm. With each drop of lotion and each caress of

WE ARE PRESSED ON EVERY SIDE

BY TROUBLES, BUT WE ARE NOT CRUSHED. WE ARE PERPLEXED, BUT NOT DRIVEN TO DESPAIR. WE ARE HUNTED DOWN, BUT NEVER ABANDONED BY GOD. WE GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT WE ARE NOT DESTROYED. 2 CORINTHIANS 4:8–9 Benita’s parched skin, my anxiety and discomfort lessened, and I looked into her sallow, recessed eyes. When I’d massaged both legs and arms, I was ready to move on to another patient, but it was then that Benita slowly withdrew her gown and pointed to her neck and back.

We often go through the motions in life; we give halfhearted efforts. I think that’s what I was trying to do at first with Benita. After all, I was there, wasn’t I? I had already massaged well over a dozen patients and painted half a dozen girls’ nails. It was time to move on...there were still twenty other people in the room who needed attention.

But God wanted me to stay. He wanted me to finish what I had started…to give Benita my very best…to stay by her side, just as if I were Him. Then I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to speak her name over her.

And so as I rubbed her body, I looked into her eyes and repeatedly spoke her name, “Benita.

Benita. Benita.”

She didn’t respond verbally, but she stared deep into my soul.

There are some questions we will never know the answer to this side of heaven. Questions like why do these women have to die of malnutrition and lack of medical care while their daughters sit helplessly by their bedside? And conversely, why do I have abundance, opportunity, medical care, education, and more food and water than I could ever need?

I can’t answer those questions. Maybe when

I get to heaven it will all be revealed, or maybe I won’t need those answers anymore…I don’t know. But I do know the answer to this question, “Why me, on that day, at that place, so far out of my comfort zone and skill set?”

The answer?

Benita.

I looked up the meaning of her name when I got back to the States. Benita means blessed.

So from now on, when I envision her small, ashen face and her fragile, child-sized limbs—the memory of which will remain with me forever—I will consider myself blessed. Blessed by the chance to learn from her. Blessed by the chance to play a miniscule part in expressing God’s love to her. Blessed by that one day in time. Blessed

by God’s provision in my weakness, despite my tentative heart.

Blessed to speak not just her name, but also these words to her just before I left, “Jezi renmen ou, Benita.”

Jesus loves you, Benita. And He is for you. And He wants you to know, no matter your circumstance, that He is there for you.

Maybe you need to be reminded that Jesus is for you. That He loves you. That He will never forget you. That He will never forsake you. That He will never abandon you. And that He is with you in every storm.

I had no clue what I was getting into that day, but I hope I never forget her name and what she taught me. Benita = Blessed.

Blessed…yes! V

20 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 20

2/28/17 2:25 PM

God Is Never Too Busy for You

by Kristi Dews Dale

“Sometimes I just think God is too busy with other people,” the lady said.

I looked into her tear-filled eyes, and compassion filled my heart. “What do you mean?” I asked earnestly.

“Just that He is so busy helping other people that He doesn’t have time to help me with my problems,” she said.

My heart was broken for her. Immediately, Psalm 139 came to my mind, and I shared verses 1—4 and 13—14 with her.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord, know it completely.… For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

The Bible is very clear that God cares about everything in our lives. He cares when we sit and when we rise. When we go out and when we lay down. He knows our thoughts and our words before we say them. This, my friend, is customized care.

Never forget, the capacity of God is endless and unsearchable. Isaiah 40:20 NIV says: Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

Isaiah had a deep understanding of God’s complete and endless supply of everything. God will never run out…of anything. And that means, He always has enough for you! More than that, He is meticulous in His care for you.

Have you ever knitted something? It’s a difficult skill to master. I tried knitting once, and I was terrible.

My mother-in-law knits beautiful things, but it takes much time and effort. Before the knitting process begins, she picks out just the right yarn. Then she spends hours on beautiful designs that result in unique and special pieces of art.

Now look again at Psalm 139:13. “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” God has taken the time to carefully knit us together and to make us into something—or should I say someone—unique. We are each a special piece of art, His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).

As I shared those words with the woman in my story, her eyes filled again, but this time with happy tears as she realized that she mattered to God. We all matter to God. And we each are created uniquely for His special purposes.

Read Psalm 139:14 again, too. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

There are days when we don’t feel wonderful. Days when the world has beaten us down and we don’t even want to get up again. Our strength is depleted and our storehouses are empty of love and encouragement. But the truth is, we are fearfully and wonderfully made—and the Bible makes it very clear that we are to know that full well. We are to be confident in this fact and should take the time to remind others of their worth as well.

God is never too busy for you. He takes constant, special care of all His creations. Luke 12:27 talks about how beautifully God dresses the lilies. Matthew 6:26 talks about God taking care of the birds. Scripture is full of God’s attention to detail. He doesn’t lose sight of or become too busy for anyone or anything.

Jesus continued in verse 26 to ask His disciples, “Aren’t you far more valuable to God than they are?” (Yes, of course you are!) Then, “He will certainly care for you” (Matthew 7:30).

Don’t lose heart. And never, ever buy into the lie that says you aren’t worth God’s attention or that He doesn’t have time for you. He has all the time in the world for you, for you are precious to Him (Isaiah 43:4). God sees you and hears you. He takes notice of you and knows you intimately. Never forget these truths. V

VL_February17rF.indd 21

DO YOU KNOW GOD?

by Kristi Overton Johnson

God knows you intimately. But do you know God? Or have you just heard about Him? There’s no better time than now to begin a lifelong journey of knowing God as your personal Lord and Savior. Here are some suggestions: Get in God’s Word. Knowing God comes through a daily commitment to know His Word.

The more you know His Word, the more you will understand His ways, His heart, His character, His nature, His voice, and His promises (Luke 8:18).

Pray to God. Pour out your heart to God as you would an intimate friend. (John 15:15). Then, listen for His voice. God still speaks today (James 1:5).

Spend time with other believers. Put yourself in the company of those who are hungry for God and who are growing in their relationships with Him. Listen for His voice and look for Him throughout your day. God is everywhere and in everything (Romans 1:20). The heavens declare His glory! Take time to search for Him, and you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13).

Keep a record. Write down your prayers and God’s answers, and don’t forget to praise Him too.

This record will serve as a reminder of how God has been faithful to you.

kojministries.org Issue 1 21

2/28/17 2:25 PM

BEING LIKE CHRIST ISN’T ABOUT BEING PERFECT. IT’S ABOUT SHOWING LOVE, KINDNESS, MERCY, AND COMPASSION TO THOSE AROUND US, WHEREVER WE ARE.

From Behind the Chair:

An Interview with Matt Holder

by Kristi Overton Johnson Recently while visiting my family in Greenville, North Carolina, I met Matt Holder, a well known and sought after hair stylist in the area. I had heard Matt’s testimony of being healed of cancer and how God had used cancer to bring him to a place of surrender and ultimate victory.

Matt graciously invited me to sit in his chair, blessed me with a beautiful hairstyle, and shared his story. I trust this will inspire you to come out from behind your chair—that place of comfort and control—and step into the freedom of God’s love.

KOJ: Matt, thank you for your time.

I hear you are quite the hair stylist.

How did you get into this field?

Matt: I was studying music at East Carolina University when I suddenly realized I didn’t want to study music, I just wanted to play in my band and hopefully get a Grammy one day. During that time, I went to get my hair cut at a beauty school and thought, “Those people look like they are really having fun.” So, I decided I’d have some fun and make some money as a hair stylist while I worked on my Grammy. The Grammy never came, but I have excelled in the hair business. I have opened my own studios, and I speak at hair shows across the nation.

KOJ: You’ve been in the business now for over thirty years. I’ll bet you’ve learned a lot standing behind this chair.

Matt: Yes. Working behind this chair has taught me a lot about people. The chair is a place where people, especially women, feel safe and open up as they get their hair styled. But I’ve also learned a lot about myself behind this chair.

22 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 22

KOJ: How so?

Matt: For years, this chair was my safe haven. It was my place of comfort, where I was in control. I was Matt the stylist, the person people came to and trusted. I had a persona to uphold. It’s ironic— people sat in my chair and shared their hearts, but no one knew the real Matt. I never talked to anyone about myself in a transparent way.

Behind the chair, I could control the conversation. I could ask general questions or just mirror what the client said. I hid behind the chair for years and let no one in.

KOJ: I guess it’s safe to say the chair is no longer your hiding place.

What led to that transformation?

Matt: In May 2013, I got cancer.

At first I thought I had the flu; everyone else had it. I got some medicine and kept on going. Then a lump appeared on my neck. Clients began to notice and asked me about it. Like many would do, I went home and Googled my symptoms online. I came to the conclusion I had a blocked saliva gland. It wasn’t long before my wife sent me to a real doctor. He took one look in my mouth and immediately sent me to an oncologist, who confirmed I had cancer in my tonsils and throat.

He suspected it was stage 4. I didn’t even know what stage 4 meant… no one ever expects something like this to happen to them.

KOJ: Did you rely on your faith to get you through this time?

Matt: Well, at that time, I didn’t really have a strong faith. I always figured I’d get serious about Christ when I got older. But as I got older, I went my own way and only turned photography by Geri Simpkins

2/28/17 2:25 PM

to God when things went wrong. My faith in Him was like a security blanket I pulled out when I needed something. It wasn’t a way of life. Really, I didn’t even know there was more than just going to God in times of need.

I knew nothing about having a relationship with God. I just didn’t see the importance. I lived a decent life. I wasn’t hurting anyone with my choices; what was the big deal? I’ve since learned that even what someone does in private can affect people.

For years, clients had been trying to get me to go to church and get serious about my relationship with Christ, but I never considered their invitations seriously. I was more comfortable hanging out at bars and restaurants after work.

When cancer hit, I started thinking more about God and praying. But my prayers weren’t for me; they were for my wife and children. The way I figured it, God didn’t owe me anything. I had lived my whole life for myself.

It’s not that I had verbally denied Him, but I certainly hadn’t glorified Him in my words or actions. How could I be worth His redemption or protection?

During my treatments, my clients never stopped reaching out to me. I saw so much kindness in them. I realized the power and hope they had in Jesus Christ was real. It wasn’t just positive thinking; they were sure of His love and power. The more I experienced God’s love through them, the more I wanted what they had. I wanted something real. My clients prayed me into the kingdom of God. KOJ: And now, you are praying your clients into the kingdom of God. Matt: It’s been three and a half years since I had cancer. Praise God, I am totally healed. The Lord was with me every step of the way, giving me the strength to go through the treatments and regain my health. I am grateful.

Through cancer, I came to God in a real way. As a result, I no longer feel the need to hide behind my chair. I have so much to say now, so much to tell about the goodness of Christ! My chair is a platform where I can speak hope into people’s lives. It’s so awesome to be able to encourage others, to pray for them, and to let them know life is not over.

KOJ: I love how God uses our talents as a platform. Many Christians believe that to be used by God, they have to be a pastor or in full-time ministry. But God is just looking for people who will use the gifts He’s given them for His glory in every area of life.

Matt: That’s true. My clients were the first to recognize that God had given me a platform as a hair stylist. They knew before I did that my life in His hands could be a powerful instrument for the Lord. I had taken for granted my gift as a stylist as a tool to touch people’s life.

I used to feel so unqualified to talk to people about my faith or pray with people. What if I didn’t say the right thing? Now it’s just natural. I share what God is doing in my life—no one can argue with that. You don’t have to have special training or hold a special position to testify to the goodness of God.

Christianity down their throats. I just love people and seek to be like Christ in all my interactions.

KOJ: What does it mean to be Christlike?

Matt: At first glance, the term Christlike seems like an unattainable goal. I mean, who can truly be like Christ? But being like Christ isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing love, kindness, mercy, and compassion to those around us, wherever we are. Those clients who walked through cancer with me were Christlike. They showed compassion, love, and mercy. They held me up when I couldn’t stand. They encouraged me back to life. And as a result, I came to know Christ.

KOJ: What is the biggest difference Christ has made in your life?

Matt: In Christ, I have peace of mind. I don’t fear dying anymore. I’ve already been saved from death. I also don’t fear the turmoil of the world.

This world isn’t my home; heaven is. I look forward to being there one day.

When I look heavenward, all fear goes away. Besides, fear isn’t of God. Because of Christ, I have so much peace. I know that God has my back here on earth and for all eternity. I have faith that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will always lead the way. God is always there and always talking. We just have to stop, listen, and pay attention. V

THE MORE I EXPERIENCED GOD’S LOVE THROUGH THEM, THE MORE I WANTED WHAT THEY HAD. I WANTED SOMETHING REAL. MY CLIENTS PRAYED ME INTO THE KINGDOM OF GOD.

KOJ: Are you ever afraid to talk to people about your faith?

Matt: I used to be afraid I would offend someone if we talked about religion. If someone in my chair would bring up a faith-oriented topic, I’d always take it down a notch or two. But I’m not afraid anymore. Christ is a huge part of my life. In fact, He is my life. How can I not talk about Him? The truth is, people need encouragement and hope. As Christians, we have the privilege and responsibility to share His hope and love. Don’t get me wrong—I don’t beat people over the head with my Bible or push photography by Geri Simpkins

VL_February17rF.indd 23

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 23

2/28/17 2:25 PM

A Father Who Never Fails I’ve lived an interesting life, to say the least.

A lady once handed me her business card at the baggage area of an airport and said, “I want the first book you publish on your life story.” I told her I’d have to wait until my mom passed on before writing a book. She thought that was incredibly honorable of me until I told her the reason—my mother always said she’d sue me for royalties!

My father and mother were musicians. That meant we moved a lot. Each year, my mom would flip a coin and say, “Heads we clean; tails we move.” Somehow it always came up tails.

Mom and dad fought constantly. Many times, my brothers and I woke up to the sound of them physically bashing each other. Finally, they decided to put Pete, Jerry, and me in a children’s home while they sorted things out. At the end of the year, mom showed up in a brand new red Cadillac with a stranger named Bill.

“Get in the car,” she barked. “Your dad and I are getting a divorce. We’re going to Las Vegas.”

Pete was eleven, I was ten, and Jerry was eight.

It was 1955. Off we went with mom’s six-foot-five boyfriend, who turned out to be a bank robber.

He robbed banks all the way from New York to Las Vegas, lighting dynamite with his cigar to blow the doors off the safes. He became known as the Cigar Bandit.

MAYBE, LIKE ME, YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND APPROVAL OF A FATHER. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A HEAVENLY FATHER WHO LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. Domenic (middle) and his brothers Pete (top) and Jerry (bottom) never knew the love of an earthly father.

24 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 24

by Domenic Fusco

Mom and her boyfriend put us in a motel outside of Las Vegas and showed up every few days with food. At ten years old and four foot eight, I guess you could say I became the world’s youngest short-order cook. Since there was nothing but deserts and hills for miles, we boys chased jack rabbits, horney toads, and gophers for fun. For five weeks, we scrounged the hot desert for these critters. We didn’t bring much back except second- and third-degree sunburns!

Eventually, the police caught up with Bill the Cigar Bandit. We were flown back to New York, and the FBI incarcerated him. We boys were then placed in another children’s home for a year.

In 1956, we went to live with our dad. He’d just married a woman with a six-year-old boy… and she hated us with a passion. At one point, she stopped feeding us lunch. Fortunately, I got in trouble at school and was sent to the vice principal’s office during lunchtime. He discovered my brothers’ and my situation, and he bought our lunches for the rest of the year. The next summer, we went to stay with mom for a few weeks. We never saw dad again.

Mom next married an airline pilot. Two years later, we discovered he really was a bookie from Hell’s Kitchen. He was a sociopathic gypsy who used the three of us boys to steal for him from the department store where he worked. One day, the police raided our house and arrested my stepdad and my brother, Pete. My mother was in the hospital giving birth to our sister, Kate. Both mom and my stepdad were alcoholics who continued in the family tradition of fighting and arguing. At one party, Mom threw my stepdad’s mother out the front door and broke her leg. Needless to say, there was no fun in our dysfunctional family.

Anger and frustration grew within me, to the point that I would explode when confronted. By nineteen, I had been in over a hundred street fights and arrested for an array of things including grand larceny, disorderly conduct, and blowing up bombs in various sections of Queens. The bad role models, instability, alcoholism, verbal abuse, and rejection I had witnessed and experienced as a kid created within me a mind-set that was sure to land me behind bars.

My last fight happened when two university wrestlers sent an instigator over to start a fight with me. By the time they ran the 100 feet to help their friend, all they got was a view of his bloody body.

Later, I learned the man had died, but no charges were ever filed against me.

Somehow I graduated high school and received a poverty scholarship to a New York State junior college. Did I mention our family was not only dysfunctional but also poor? Our family was so poor, we’d go to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people’s fingers!

Who would have imagined I’d ever go to college, and on a scholarship? This certainly surprised the neighbors, all of whom were certain my brothers and I would end up in prison. An art degree was my first choice, but I ended up graduating with a degree in electrical technology, due to lack of space within the art program. I was the first in my entire family to graduate from college.

But even with a college degree, I remained angry, hot tempered, and paranoid.

On my first engineering assignment, I designed a low-noise amplifier that significantly surpassed the best performing unit the company I worked for had at the time. My boss convinced me that I needed to earn a four-year college degree. I enrolled in the least expensive university in the United States—the University of Tennessee—with a tuition fee of $75 a quarter.

After graduating from UT, I married my beautiful wife, lived on a large lake in Orlando, and earned more money than I’d ever imagined possible. I’d achieved every goal I’d ever set, but still, my heart was void of peace. Instead, it was full of anger. I simply could not erase the pain of being deserted by my father, ignored by my mother whose job kept her away well into the night, and being raised by a sociopathic stepfather. There were so many scars of instability, too many negative parental words declaring I had never done enough and would never be good enough. Not to mention, that list of police records on my name and the negative affects of alcoholism. I was a prisoner of my past, and I was lost. I desperately wondered what could possibly be the meaning of life.

One night I was sitting by myself in front of the television, flipping the channels. I came across a man telling his story about crossing the Sahara Desert on motorcycles with his two friends. For the next fifteen minutes, he described a journey filled with death-defying danger, but each time they thought they might not make it, they prayed in Jesus’s name, and He miraculously delivered them. I sat there in front of that television widecontinued on page 31

2/28/17 2:25 PM

FROM THE FATHER’S HEART

Are you experiencing victorious living?

Is your life filled with

purpose, love, joy, and peace?

Do you have

hope for your future?

Forgiveness for your past?

Strength for your tomorrow?

Right now you might be thinking, “Are you kidding me? Joy, peace, purpose? Worth, strength, forgiveness? I’ll never have those things! Look at where I am! Look at what I’ve been through. Look at what I’ve done. Look at what has been done to me.”

Friend, right now, no matter what your past or present, all of these things can be yours. You can have peace that passes all understanding, joy in the midst of hardship, love and acceptance despite your failures, forgiveness, and a fresh start. Your life can have purpose.

It doesn’t matter if you are sitting in a mansion or in a jail cell or somewhere in between,

a victorious life can be yours TodaY!

How? Through a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ.

If you do not currently have a relationship with God, begin one right now. Romans 10:8–10 nkjv explains how: “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart…that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”

As you accept what Christ has done for you and put your faith in Him alone for salvation, you are then free to have a relationship with God and experience His peace, power, presence, and love. You don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love and forgiveness. It’s yours for the asking!

After you’ve received this free gift of salvation, guess what? You are then able to step into the life of victory Christ died to give you—an abundant life of peace, joy, worth, love, and purpose. As you grow in your relationship with Him through studying and applying the Word of God and by trusting Him, these things are released in your daily life.

Will you pray with me right now and receive all that God intends for you?

Dear Lord, I confess that I am a sinner in need of salvation. I thank You for sending Your Son, Jesus, to save me from my sins. Thank You that He laid down His life for me so that I could have a new life in Him. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. I now give my life, my past, and my future to You. Guide my steps and speak to my heart, Lord.

Amen

VL_February17rF.indd 25

What are you carrying, My child?

Do you feel stuck in the mess of your past? Afraid of the future? Confused by the circumstances that surround you?

You needn’t be.

Give Me your worries and be free.

It’s time you realize that you are enough. You always have been. And you are loved. I love you with an everlasting love.

Step out from under the weight of your burden. You weren’t meant to carry any of it. Unload it and place it all on My shoulders. They are strong. I will exchange your burdens for My strength, power, provision, confidence, and ability. In Me, you have all you need to move forward. Be not afraid; I am here to uphold you and help you.

I have great plans for you, but you must be willing to step into them. You must be willing to take the risk, to move into unfamiliar and often uncomfortable areas. Don’t be afraid to fall or fail. Falling and failing can be part of the victory process.

So you aren’t where you want to be? It’s okay. You can start moving toward a new place today. Everyone has to start somewhere, sometime. Start now. Start right where you are. How? By being faithful in the small things. By being full of integrity in everything you do and say. Do that, and I will move you into bigger things.

If you aren’t faithful and full of integrity in the small things, how can I trust you with anything larger?

I know your dreams. I placed them in your heart. But fulfilling a dream doesn’t just happen. You must take deliberate steps toward it. You must discipline yourself and, when necessary, fight for it.

Satan will do anything to keep you from stepping into your dreams. So will the world. Don’t let them. Be willing to step out.

Sometimes it will feel like you are stepping out alone.

Fear not. I am here.

Sometimes people will reject or ridicule you. I know how you feel.

You won’t always please others when you follow Me. But come with Me, and you will be amazed.

Be willing to be different, maybe even look ridiculous.

Don’t worry—I see every sacrifice you make.

Are you ready to move forward? Take one step at a time.

Move, My child. Move with Me. Stay close and listen. I will show you the way. Be careful not to ignore the wisdom of godly people when I place them in your path. They will love you to victory. Be willing to listen to them.

There is a battle for your life, My child. Satan desires to have you. He places people and circumstances in your way to cause confusion and shame, anger and fear. He wants you to hate yourself, to hate others, and to follow after the lusts of the flesh. His greatest desire is that you feel you are not enough. But you are!

In Me, you are more than enough, and you have all you need. V kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 25

2/28/17 2:25 PM

MINISTRY NEWS In 2016, we added a new facet to our ministry—Shine Bright and Write events!

Our Shine Bright and Write events bring together people who desire to encourage the brokenhearted and carry out God’s command to visit prisoners through the avenue of written correspondence. In the unintimidating atmosphere of a home or church, we provide a time of fellowship and an opportunity to write words of encouragement to inmates.

Perhaps you’d consider hosting one of these awesome, life-changing events?

Your friends will love it!

For more information about hosting a Shine Bright and Write event in your home or church, e-mail Linda Cubbedge at linda@kojministries or call 352-478-2098.

First Baptist Starke (in Starke, FL) hosts Shine Bright and Write events every month. Consider hosting your own Shine Bright and Write event.

Contact linda@kojministries.org or call 352-478-2098.

Inmates in

22 states

In 2016, our Victorious Living Prison Correspondence Outreach Team assembled

are now being ministered to through our Victorious Living Prison Correspondence Outreach Team.

Carry It Out Inform your church about our prison ministry. Our outreach helps the church carry out Jesus’ mandate to visit prisoners by: ✚ training the church to effectively minister to inmates through correspondence; ✚ providing a proven, safe outreach tool and method to reach lost souls; ✚ giving adults of all ages the opportunity to bring healing to the brokenhearted, even from home; and ✚ encouraging a connection between the church and a local inmate for future mentorship upon release.

This connection brings help and restoration to an inmate, thereby reducing the rate of recidivism.

And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!”

Matthew 25:40

12,461 devotionals!

We estimate that we will send over 20,000 devotionals in 2017!

26 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 26

2/28/17 2:25 PM

Every day, our Victorious Living Correspondence Team receives letters from inmates who love the Lord and who desire to encourage us in our faith journey. These letters lift our spirits, strengthen our faith, and spur us on to continue the work the Lord has put before us. We hope these letters will encourage your heart as well.

The Process Are you an inmate in need of encouragement?

Our Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach Team is here for you.

Here’s what you can expect:

Send a letter to us at: Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach PO Box 328 Starke, FL 32091

You’ll receive: ✚ Welcome letter from founder, Kristi Overton Johnson ✚ Timely, handwritten responses from our correspondence team ✚ Monthly devotionals from Kristi Overton Johnson ✚ Personal subscription to Victorious Living magazine ✚ Prayer support from our Victorious Living Correspondence Team

Please note: Due to the volume of inmate correspondence, we are unable to assign specific writers to individual inmates. Nor can we guarantee continued correspondence with one writer. What we can guarantee, however, is an opportunity for you to correspond with a team of writers who love the Lord and who are committed to encouraging you in your life journey. We are also unable to handle legal cases, contact people on your behalf, or disperse items such as money or stamps. Thank you for understanding.

VL_February17rF.indd 27

Iron Sharpening Iron As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 27:17

Dear Victorious Living Team, I would like to start this letter by saying thanks to you and the ministry team for being there for me. You always seem to be at the right place at the right time. I was really going through it one day last week. I was at a breaking point. Stretched out on my bunk, I looked up and just started talking to the Lord. I asked Him to help me and touch my heart. I needed Him to show me something, just to let me know He was with me.

I couldn’t believe what happened next. As I was talking to Him, the officer was passing out mail. When he came by my door, he slid an envelope under my door. You guessed it—it was from your ministry team! I had this big, crazy smile on my face as I looked up and told the Lord thank you. It was amazing.

As soon as the door opened, I went to one of my friends and was like, “Check this out!” He was having a bad day too. I love showing people letters from your ministry team and the monthly devotionals. Thank you for your time and courage. You have no idea how much you help me.

Justin Griffin Taylor C.I. Annex

Dear Kristi and team, This ministry is so full of love and hope. I faithfully receive letters, monthly studies, and the Victorious Living magazine each quarter. I share them with all my friends.

The testimonies are truly amazing. I remind myself that the things God is doing for people in your magazine, He can also do for me. I know that God is capable of anything.

I used to think that God did not always hear my prayers. But I’ve learned that that thought was a lie from Satan to get me to give up. I refuse to give in to Satan and his lies.

Anytime that I feel doubt, I remember the story of Job. Even though Job suffered much and had every reason to give up, he didn’t. He kept the faith, and God was faithful.

Thank you for hope.

I arrived here at Clay County Jail in Florida after being extradited back from Ohio for violation of probation.

Over the last twenty-five years, I have been incarcerated in twenty-five different prisons, fourteen county jails, juvenile detention centers, and in foster care.

Recently I came across your magazine. Story after story filled my heart with hope that God still loves me and reminded me that He has not abandoned me.

Thank you so much.

God promised me a few years back that He would bring the pieces of my life together to someday show me His masterpiece or work. God has been very patient with me and has taught me so much.

I was truly encouraged by your magazine and would greatly appreciate becoming a part of your Victorious Living family and receiving your quarterly publication.

I don’t have a Bible yet, so for now, Issue 3 of your quarterly publication will have to serve as my “Bible.”

I am thankful for the scriptures contained within each page. I truly appreciate this ministry and will add you to my daily prayers.

Thomas Turski Clay County Jail correspondence team faithfully writes encouraging letters and always makes time to pray for us. What a feeling it is to know someone prays for me! It touches my heart, gives me hope, and fills me with happiness.

Know that I pray for you and your ministry, too. I ask God to bless your ministry and allow it to grow and expand. I also ask that He will meet your every need financially, and supply you with leaders to work beside you. I have no doubt He will.

I believe KOJ Ministries will deliver the message of God’s kingdom and salvation to different parts of the world. God will make a way. Keep pushing forward and touching hearts because this ministry is succeeding.

You’ve touched my heart.

Love and kindness really makes a difference.

Floyd M. Howard III Inmate Wakulla C.I. Work Camp

The Victorious Living prison outreach team is truly a blessing to us who are incarcerated. The kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 27

2/28/17 2:25 PM

MINISTRY NEWS UPDATE FROM KOJM PRISON CORRESPONDENCE DIRECTOR, LINDA CUBBEDGE

GREATER THINGS ARE YET TO COME I am overwhelmed when I think about all the ministry that has taken place this past year through our Victorious Living Prison Outreach. We have more than doubled our incoming and outgoing mail in the past year, even as our desire to reach more lives for Jesus is increasing as well.

The Holy Spirit continues to inspire each of us as we seek to minister to incarcerated men and women in various facilities across the United States. No longer are we only ministering to inmates in Florida. Inmates from twenty-two different states are now being encouraged and equipped with the Good News of Jesus Christ through Victorious Living and our correspondence outreach.

We don’t even know how some of these folks are receiving our magazines, but they are. God is expanding our territory every day, as we remain faithful to do His work and to answer the call of reaching the lost and broken. We sense God has released a wave of divine grace that enables us to share His truth and love in this powerful, life-changing way.

Recently, an inmate wrote to us, saying that he had not been able to accept that God could or would forgive him for the things he had done. It was just too hard for him to believe. Then one day, he finally gave in. He decided he would open his Bible, place his finger on a random spot on a page, and then read what it said. He’d heard of someone doing this before and figured he had nothing to lose. So he opened his Bible and pointed blindly to a verse. His finger landed on Isaiah 44:22. It says, “I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free.”

He was completely overwhelmed. What a gracious and loving Savior we serve! This man praised God for His tender mercies.

And I believe, as they say in the south, we ain’t seen nothing yet! Greater things are yet to come because not all have heard the Good News that God loves them. Not all know that He has made a way for them to be free from the slavery of sin. Not all know of the powerful name of Jesus and His amazing grace.

Several months ago, we shared a phrase that describes our prison outreach: an invasion of love. God’s love regularly invades the hearts of inmates through the Victorious Living Prison Outreach. But it invades our hearts as well. It allows us to feel what He feels and encourages us to share His unfailing love with others. As our team allows God’s love to grow deeper within our hearts, and as we spend time with Him daily, our desire to fulfill His plans for this ministry will not only intensify but will bring many more souls into His kingdom.

I cannot thank God enough for the team of writers that He has placed in this ministry. They are diamonds! Precious individuals who lovingly take time to pray for and write to those who belong to our Victorious Living family.

All an inmate has to do is write us and ask to be added to our mailing list.

We immediately mail them a welcome packet that includes our most recent monthly devotional. Within a few weeks, they receive their first card or letter from one of our writers. Going forward, they receive monthly devotionals and quarterly issues of Victorious Living. Their subsequent letters show the great work the Lord is doing in their hearts.

We are so excited to see what the Lord has in store for 2017. We want more of His amazing love, more of His presence, more of His grace, more of His wisdom, and more of His courage as we share the Good News that Jesus Christ has come to redeem mankind from the powers of darkness! V

FOR THIS IS HOW GOD LOVED THE WORLD: HE GAVE HIS ONE AND ONLY SON, SO THAT EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE. GOD SENT HIS SON INTO THE WORLD NOT TO JUDGE THE WORLD, BUT TO SAVE THE WORLD THROUGH HIM. JOHN 3:16–17

ONE STEP AT A TIME

by Thomas Turski

One step at a time through this life that we live, We learn how to love, and we learn how to give.

Overcoming the heartache, the sorrow, and pain, We find a rainbow at the end of the rain.

Holding on to the promise that was long ago told, Awaits for us heaven with streets paved of gold.

One step at a time as we walk through the years, Always looking to Jesus to wipe away tears.

And with Jesus beside us, so tender and kind, We can walk with assurance, one step at a time.

28 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 28

2/28/17 2:25 PM

Me? Worthy?

Finding Forgiveness for Yourself Anonymous

If you were to look at a family picture from my childhood, you would say, “What a nice looking family.” We were picture perfect. I grew up in the country in a large home built by my father, a “self-made man” whose company grew to great financial success. My mother, a beautiful woman, worked in marketing, taught Sunday school, and was involved in school activities. She even taught aerobics on the side. We were a busy and successful family.

It was in the midst of this busyness that my world began to privately crumble. My mother often used babysitters when I was young. One babysitter, a high schooler, would take me over to her boyfriend’s house while she was caring for us. It was there that I was first exposed to pornographic videos. I was ten.

Not too long after, friends of the boyfriend began to commit acts against me. They would physically hurt me or threaten me if I resisted. At that age, I wasn’t able to comprehend what was happening. All I knew was that I had a terrible secret, and I began to hate myself.

The abuse continued as I moved into junior high. It expanded from the friends of my babysitter’s boyfriend to the boys in the neighborhood. I then began to enter into controlling relationships. I remember one in particular.

“You were dead because of your sins and because of your sinful nature…”

Colossians 2:13-14

When I was fifteen, I met a boy in high school who was older than me. He preyed on controlling others, and I willingly came under his mental, emotional, and physical control. If I spoke to another boy in the hallway, he would come beside me and hold my hand.

What others could not see is that he would squeeze my hand until I wanted to drop to my knees in pain.

My boyfriend had a friend, Jason, and the three of us did a lot together. Jason was very nice to me; he was kind and nonthreatening.

When my boyfriend saw that Jason and I were friends, he told me that I couldn’t hang around with Jason anymore. I obeyed and ended the friendship.

One night, a couple of weeks later, Jason drove to my house in tears. He was armed with a bottle of tequila and a loaded .22 caliber handgun. He said he could not understand why I had stopped being his friend, and he wanted to kill himself. We talked for two hours and mended our friendship. During our conversation, I asked him to unload the gun, and he did. By the time we were finished talking, we were both smiling, and we hugged good night. I gave him back the bullets as there didn’t seem to be a threat anymore—another secret I hid from my family.

The next day, I learned Jason was dead. After Jason left my house, his car slid off the icy country road and got stuck. According to police, he tried to dislodge his car with some boards but was unsuccessful. So he sat back down in the driver’s seat, reloaded the gun, and shot himself in the head. I was the last person to see him alive. Since I had returned the bullets to him, I naturally blamed

“Then Go d made yo ua with Chris t, for He fo live rgave all our sin s. He canc eled the recor d against us of the charges and took it away by nailing it to the c ross.” myself. I was sixteen, and another negative emotion—guilt—was added to my life.

From that point forward, I stopped actively living life in a healthy way. I got pregnant, suffered a miscarriage, and barely graduated high school. I surrounded myself with abusive relationships familiar to what I had experienced in the past. Distrust for people grew, and I began to view myself as “damaged goods” with no value to anyone.

I turned to alcohol, and it helped block out the voices in my mind that screamed I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough or smart enough.

Those voices continued into my early twenties, when I finally hit rock bottom. I suffered a rape from my boss, a trusted authority figure. Not knowing how to deal with it, I began to think of ways to end my life. To make it worse, his wife was like a mother to me. Now, I had another secret from yet another woman I cared about.

One night, I drank as much wine as I could stand, drove myself to a quiet, out of the way area, and put my plan of suicide into action.

I carefully tucked rags around the tailpipe of my car and inserted a garden hose. Next, I placed the other end of the hose through the driver’s side window of my car, carefully wrapping it with towels. As I sat in the car and sobbed, I begged God to end my pain and all the suffering, guilt, and shame I had carried throughout my childhood. I was tired of living every day, feeling like an unworthy, unlovable, ugly person.

I cried and breathed in deeply, but nothing happened. Frustrated, I got out of my car to find the poisonous fumes escaping into the cold, night air through thousands of tiny holes in the hose. The hose I had used was a porous water hose that would not allow the poison to enter continued on page 31

VL_February17rF.indd 29

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 29

2/28/17 2:25 PM

OUR CONTRIBUTORS LAUREN B.

DOMENIC FUSCO

Lauren grew up in a small town in eastern North Carolina. She enjoys sharing her salvation experience through art and sharing her story of hope and restoration through writings.

After a successful career in engineering, Domenic Fusco followed his passion in the arts and media as a producer/director, founding a video production company. He serves Christian ministries with his filmmaking and branding/imagemaking skills. Visit www.domenicfusco.com and www.visiblelight.org.

JENNIFER BEAGLE

Jennifer travels the world telling her story of redemption. She is the founder of three nonprofit organizations and is currently the women’s director of the House of Hope in Gainesville, Florida. To learn more about House of Hope, visit www.houseofhopegnv.org. To have Jennifer share her story with your organization, e-mail her at Jennifer@houseofhopegnv.org. To learn more, visit www.houseofhopegnv.org.

GEORGE BEASLEY

George Beasley and his wife, Lisa, are certified marriage mentors in North Carolina. They work with couples to prepare, repair, and maintain marriages according to God’s Word. George is the author of The Invisible Soul.

SARAH BECKMAN

Sarah speaks to audiences across the country as part of Salt and Clay Ministries, which she founded in 2007. Insights for Christian Living can be found at her blog: www.sarahbeckman.org. Her book, Alongside: A Practical Guide for Loving Your Neighbor in their Time of Trial, was released in February 2017. Sarah and her husband of twentythree years live in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and have three teenage children.

LINDA CUBBEDGE

Linda is Victorious Living’s Prison Correspondence Director. She is passionate about the Lord and leading others to Him. Linda has four children, nine grandchildren, and two great-grandsons.

KRISTI DEWS DALE

Kristi is a wife and the mother of four amazing children. She holds a master’s degree in public health and is an adjunct business instructor at a local college in North Carolina. Kristi is passionate about encouraging others with Christ’s love.

KEITH KORY GORDON

Keith served as chapel orderly at Franklin Correctional Institution where he witnessed firsthand God working in the lives of inmates and prison staff. Keith and his wife, Kasey, have a passion for sharing their story of restoration with prisoners and plan to continue ministering in prison upon his release.

TASHA GRIFFITHS

A guitarist and songwriter, Tasha uses her passion for music to glorify God and heal broken hearts.

Born in Las Vegas, Tasha now lives in Florida, where she ministers to inmates, sharing the same hope she found behind bars.

MATT HOLDER

Matt is the owner and a hair stylist at Matt Holder Hairdressing in Greenville, North Carolina. Matt uses the platform of his hair salon to tell others of the wonderful mercy of God. He and his wife, Leah, have a son. Matt serves at Covenant Church as a worship leader.

KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON

A former world champion water-skier, Kristi is the founder of In His Wakes and KOJ Ministries.

She encourages and equips people for victory through her writings and speaking engagements.

Kristi is the publisher of Victorious Living and a multipublished author. She resides in Central Florida with her husband, Tim, and their three children.

TERESA KEMP

Founder of Breaking Chains International, Inc., Teresa is an ordained minister through Victory Bible Institute in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and also holds a degree in Psychology from Florida Southern College. As a speaker and author, Teresa has been involved in ministry for over fifteen years. Her

testimony of healing and restoration through the power of Jesus Christ touches lives throughout Florida’s prison system and around the world. Her life proves that the adage “once an addict, always an addict” is not true. Teresa’s passion is to reach a lost and dying world for Jesus.

ALYSON MAUPIN

Alyson grew up in Pilot Mountain, North Carolina.

After graduating from University of North Carolina, she moved to Charlottesville, Virginia, to take a job in the pharmaceutical industry. There she fell in love with and married a local boy and settled down. She and her husband have two teenage children and visit the North Carolina coast as often as they can.

CHRIS PATTON

Chris is President/CEO of his family’s business at the Mike Patton Auto Family. His blog, Christian Faith at Work (www.christianfaithatwork.com), is directed to business owners and leaders who wish to integrate their Christian faith into their businesses. Using practical resources and reallife examples from his many years of experience, Chris teaches readers how to run a business from an eternal perspective. He and his wife live in LaGrange, Georgia, with their three children.

SPENCER SHULTZ

Spencer Shultz is a professional photojournalist from Orlando, Florida. While his main area of work is in the watersports industry, he attracts readers and viewers from various venues through his photographs and creative writing. Visit www.2SCreative.com to learn more.

GERI SIMPKINS

Geri is a wife, mother of three teenage boys, a healthcare professional, and a child of God. Her photography began as a hobby and soon became a way to give others the gift of forever memories.

Visit www.gerisimpkinsphotography.com to learn more about Geri’s passion for photography.

INMATES

A special thank you to our incarcerated brothers Justin Griffin, Floyd M. Howard, and Thomas Turski, who contributed to this issue.

Is God working in your life? Do you have a story of victory? Share it with our readers!

Your story has the power to transform lives and bring much needed hope. See page 15 for specific guidelines.

Submit your story online at kojministries.org. Due to Internet restrictions, inmate submissions should be mailed to: PO 328 Starke, FL 32091.

30 kojministries.org Issue 1 2017

VL_February17rF.indd 30

2/28/17 2:25 PM

ME WORTHY? | from page 29__________________________________________________________

NEVER FAILS | from page 24________________________

the cross.” What I realize now is that the moment I asked Christ to be the Lord of my life, He made me alive in Him. He forgave my sins and cancelled the charges against me. Wow! Everything I had done in my past, all the poor decisions I had made, were forgiven and nailed to the cross over two thousand years ago.

Yours are there, too.

Let me ask you something. If God has forgiven you, isn’t it time you forgive yourself? Why do we constantly remind ourselves of our shortcomings, when God has already forgotten them? Psalm 103:12 says, “He has removed our sin as far from us as the east is from the west,” and Jeremiah 31:34 tells us He remembers them no more! If God doesn’t condemn our past, then why should we?

Will you join me in tossing aside the weighted rope of unforgiveness so that you, too, can run the race of life victoriously and discover God’s peace and forgiveness? Ask God to reveal any areas of bitterness, anger, guilt, shame, or hatred that are weighing you down and then forgive. Forgive your parents, spouse, boss, friend, a stranger, coworker, sibling, child, or pastor. Most of all, forgive yourself. Jesus already has.

It’s time to realize that, in God’s eyes, you are worthy. Yes, you! Not because of anything you’ve done or not done, but because God says so. He says you are worth it all. Think about it: before a single day of your life ever came to be, God—knowing every decision you would ever make and everything that would ever happen to you—still saw value in your life and allowed your life to be. And then, in the gift of His Son, Jesus, who laid down His life for you, God said, “You are worth everything to Me.” Allow God to heal your innermost wounds. Unleash the weights and ropes that are binding you and choose today to move forward with a new view of yourself.

You are worthy of love, worthy of joy, worthy of healing, and yes, worthy to be used by God. God is waiting for you to agree with Him so that He can use you to touch the world. V

eyed and for the first time in my life thought, “There is a living God who answers prayer!”

It was like a lightbulb had gone off in my head as I realized that there was a God who truly loved me and who cared for my life. At that very moment, I prayed with the television host and accepted Christ into my life.

I turned all my haunting problems over to Him. I rested in the knowledge that I now had a Father who would never abandon, disappoint, or hurt me. I had a Father who would listen as I talked (prayed) to Him. I had a Father who actually wanted to help me, for I was His child!

I began a personal relationship with my heavenly Father, something I had never had with my own father.

I had been born again into a new family and now had a new life, just like John 1:12–13 says. “But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.” My life drastically changed when I believed and accepted Jesus. Perhaps the most wonderful difference was that I finally had peace, something I had longed for my whole life. Just knowing that my heavenly Father was watching over me gave me great comfort. I was able to let go of my anger and past disappointments and put them in my Father’s hands. I turned everything over to Him, and when I did, a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. I found a church, was baptized, and with God’s help, began to walk in His ways.

My career continued to skyrocket, and my wife and I were blessed beyond measure. We felt the call of God on our lives to become full-time ministers and use our passion for the arts and media to share the good news of Jesus Christ. For the past forty years, we have answered this call, and our heavenly Father has been with us every step of the way. He has never failed us; He has never let us down.

Maybe, like me, you have never known the unconditional love and approval of a father. Maybe you, too, have faced one disappointing blow after another. I want you to know that you have a heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally and who is ready to help you.

He cares about every aspect of your life. Come to Him. His arms are wide open, ready to receive you, just as you are. Believe in and accept His Son, Jesus, and be reborn into the family of God. There’s nothing greater. He truly is a Father who will never fail you. V

my car. I believe God divinely intervened and saved my life.

That night, in my desperation, God began to reveal Himself to me. I sensed great peace as He showed me that my life had a bigger purpose than just dealing with my own pain. He had a plan where my life would actually be a light for others who were struggling with deep hurts.

From that point, I began to seek God, and He met me with open arms. He granted me forgiveness from past decisions, and He gave me grace to move forward. No, my pain from the past didn’t magically disappear, but God began to heal me one wound at a time. Good things began to happen in my life. It wasn’t long before I was blessed with an incredible husband and two beautiful children. However, a part of me remained tied to the past.

As I grew in my relationship with the Lord, He began to show me that the unforgiveness I harbored toward myself was anchoring me to the past. You see, I had forgiven God as I realized that He hadn’t done those things to me; rather, it was people who were acting under their own freewill. I also knew the Word of God directed me to forgive the many people who had hurt me, and I had done so.

But there was one more person I had not forgiven. Me. Because of this unforgiveness toward myself, I still carried a load of guilt, shame, self-hatred, and a sense of unworthiness.

I couldn’t move forward in my own life, much less help anyone else do so, because I was weighted down by these emotions.

I didn’t realize that every time I let my guilt remind me of how unworthy I was to receive anything good in my life, it was like I was saying “no, thanks” to the love of God, a love full of forgiveness and redemption. It was like I was receiving the cross as a mere splinter!

Colossians 2:13–14 says, “You were dead because of your sins and because [of] your sinful nature.… Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to

VL_February17rF.indd 31

kojministries.org Issue 1 2017 31

2/28/17 2:25 PM

GIVE

Victorious Living PO Box 120951 Clermont, FL 34712-0951

Non Profit Org US Postage

PAID

VICTORIOUS LIVING

Permit No. 610 Jacksonville, FL

GET

VICTORIOUS LIVING People everywhere desperately need to know about God’s power, love, and grace. With your help and God’s Truth, Victorious Living can set captives free! $ .00 25 Donation You’ll receive VL for one year, and an inmate on our list will also receive a personal copy for one year. (You may also provide the name of an inmate.) $ .00 1,000 Donation enables KOJM to send one case (approximately 180 copies) of Victorious Living into a prison for 1 year (4 issues). $ .00 20 / Month provides monthly discipleship for an inmate on our list. Inmate will receive Victorious Living Magazine, monthly devotions, and personal correspondence.

A monthly gift of $ to help with KOJM general expenses.

A one-time gift of $ to help with KOJM general expenses.

Yes, I commit to pray for Victorious Living Outreach

Are you interested in:

l hosting a Shine Bright and Write event? l being a member of our correspondence team? l having Kristi Overton Johnson speak at your church/organization?

Become a Part of the Victorious Living Family Today!

• Go online at kojministries.org • Call 352-478-2098

YES! I Want to Be a Part! __________________________________________________ Name #1

__________________________________________________ Address #1

__________________________________________________ City | State | Zip #1

__________________________________________________ E-mail #1

______________________________________________________________________________________ Telephone #1

__________________________________________________ Name #2

__________________________________________________ Address #2

__________________________________________________ City | State | Zip #2

__________________________________________________ E-mail #2

Telephone #2

A card will be sent to recipients on your behalf to inform them of your gift!

If you would like to send more than one gift, please list names on a separate piece of paper.

r Check attached (make payable to Victorious Living) r Debit (include voided check) r Mastercard r VISA r Please automatically renew my partnership!

Donation Amount _______________________________________________ Cardholder Name (please print) ____________________________________ Card Number __________________________________________________ Expiration Date ______________________ CVC Code_________________ Credit Card Billing Address (required)________________________________ Signature_____________________________________________________ If you have any questions, please call 352-478-2098.

Mail completed form and Victorious Living support to: Victorious Living • PO BOX 120951 • Clermont, FL 34712-0951 Send all inmate correspondence to Starke, FL address on page 4.

VL_February17rF.indd 32

2/28/17 2:25 PM