SURRENDER: Rochelle Barwise

My name is Rochelle, and I moved to Jeffreys Bay in 2021 to do Victory Gap Year. I believe that worship plays a significant role in what God has called me to do, and stepping into the Worship Stream was me stepping into my calling. The devil also knew that, so of course, he wanted to do what he could for me not to walk in my calling.

I’ve always loved being in control which I wasn’t when I came to Gap Year, and we went on an orientation camp. There, I lost all sense of control, not knowing the time, where we were, when I’ll get food, and being away from anything familiar. I started struggling with panic attacks. Anxiety was an underlying issue in my heart that surfaced that year. My chest used to close up, and it would feel like I could not breathe.

I knew Jesus from a younger age. Knowing the power and authority in His name, I started declaring His name over my situation. I was warfaring against anxiety, stating that it had no

right in my life. Yet the panic attacks continued and even worsened. God showed me that it is a spiritual problem, not a physical one. I have no issue with medication for depression and anxiety, and I believe God wants to use it in some situations. Yet in my specific case, I strongly felt God say that this problem was not physical and, therefore, the solution wasn’t medication.

I went for a Sozo, a process where God reveals lies and replaces them with truths. Holy Spirit did a deep work in my heart and afterwards, I believed I was healed. Yet when I walked into our house, I had another panic attack. That evening I was very discouraged. I remember that in my prayer time that evening, I didn’t say anything. I stopped declaring and fighting. I just sat with the Father and cried. I just sat in His presence without any other intention than to be with Him.

The next morning I woke up, and realised that I had slept through the night without any anxiety and I heard the Lord say, “It is finished”.

I spoke to my mom that day, and she said that someone had ministered to her. My mom stood in my place, and the lady prayed for me for healing. Afterwards, the lady said that she had grabbed a bottle of oil and on the label it said, “It is finished.”

When I surrendered the battle to the Lord, I received my healing. He had to teach me to rest in His victory instead of trying to fight in my strength. He also gave me Psalm 23 to meditate on.

Through this process, I have learned that the presence of God illuminates the intimidation of the enemy. Instead of focusing on the circumstances, fix your eyes on Jesus. He will enable you to feast in the presence of the enemy and walk through the valley of the shadow of death - because God is with you.