Thanks to the Editorial “in-bin” having a surplus of material, he has been able to do something never been done before; namely something for you to read in your idle holiday moments.
I hope all of you have had a very pleasant Xmas and may I suggest you make a New Year’s resolution to do some serious motoring in”23 by supporting our Branch events; we need good attendance to buoy up the organisers enthusiasm.
If you were to open up any NZ motoring magazine and throw a dart at the page, I’ll wager $100 to a knob of grease that it would hit the name “Paul Fahey” and it would be connected with a Ford of one kind or another. During the 1970’s most racing drivers would have recounted a dice with him and how they didn’t stand a chance. Well, our February club-night is going to be one not to miss because Donn White has managed to secure the company of Paul for the evening, something many other Clubs would give their right arm for and I’m sure it will be standing room only.
May I suggest you seriously think about “hiring” a diagnostic instrument from the Parts Shed to check all is well in the engine- room.
I recently used the exhaust gas analyser to see if the Railton could be tuned to get a bit more from each tank fill and was actually rather pleased that it was perfect. Next was the Traveller and I was horrified to find it was off the scale on the rich side. After much thought about getting a leaner needle I carefully scrutinised the underside of the trusty SU and found the jet-tube wasn’t seating properly because the spring wasn’t strong enough, not something that was easily visible. Easily rectified though, but it just goes to show one should never take things for granted. We now have no excuses for not using the cars to full capacity.
I look forward to seeing you all again in the near future; at the Feb club-night??
Cheers, Alastair Jones
January 2023
1st New Years Day Picnic at Tuapiro Point anytime after 10am
22 Rotorua VVCC lake front 10th Anniversary meet ( see notice in Klaxon and reminder via the Buzz) It will be an informal run over to Rotorua to join the RVVCC and other car clubs for a display at the lake front.
31 Committee Meeting
February 2023
13 Club Night will be Paul Fahey see notice following page. Members with birthdays please bring a plate
13 Start of Coffee mornings again from 9am
15 Mid week run to be advised
20 Coffee Morning
26 End of Month run this will be an afternoon run, Shed raid, finishing at the club rooms for a barbecue tea ($ 5.00 pp for the barbecue - sausages , meat patties, bun, tea and coffee supplied)
27 Coffee Morning
27 Committee Meeting
28 Nog and Natter at the Pap Tavern Papamoa
March 2023
13 Club Night Members with birthday please bring a plate
13 Coffee Morning
15 Mid week run Hamurana Springs Rotorua with Lunch at the Golf Club ( see notice in Klaxon and reminder via the Buzz)
20 Coffee Morning
26 Run to Private Shed, followed by picnic lunch (more info later) Watch for notice in Klaxon and the Buzz
27 Coffee Morning
27 Committee Meeting
28 Nog and Natter at The Tauranga Citizens Club
Paul Fahey dominated saloon car racing in NZ for a decade between 1965 and 1975. During that time he had more wins at Pukekohe, Levin, Bay Park and Wigram than any other driver. Formerly of Auckland and Pauanui, Paul is now a Tauranga resident. He will do a 20 min question and answer session with Donn White, who had a fair bit to do with Paul over the past 55 years and Donn will source some of his old photos. They are also sourcing some of his posters for him to sign and give away.
We are sure that they will find plenty of interesting things to chat about! Paul attended our recent Daffodil Run For Cancer promotion and was given a warm reception by our members.
Peter Buckley was awarded his 50 year Membership Certificate by the NZVCC North Island Club Captain, Kaaren Smiley
Ivan Allen was awarded the ‘Restoration of the Year Award’ by Ron Elton, one of two restoration judges .
So anyway, there I was, about 8 years old and fully dressed in brand new clothes, having bacon and eggs at 3 o clock in the morning. My mother had got my older brother Eddie and I up early so that we could get a good start on a trip to Wellington in “Rosie” a 1923 Studebaker light 6 tourer.
We were going to be heading for a Vintage car club national rally in Wellington during Easter weekend April 1966
My father, Jack, was originally going to go on his own but all hell broke loose when he told my mother, Nell, of his plans. She said ‘What! You are going to leave me here on my own with four young children and a baby – like hell! You can take the boys with you and see how you like that” My father had to agree that she had a point. But in fact he had no choice since Mum ruled the roost at home.
Anyway as I recall it was all very exciting. New clothes, getting up early, having a cooked breakfast under the bright light of our kitchen and watching mum and dad scurrying about making sure that we had everything we needed to take.
Next we were off in the dark in Rosie with her feeble 6 volt lights glimmering as much as they could. It probably was at Taupo that we had our first major hurdle. As children do, we needed to pee. We then quickly realised that our new jeans had a design flaw. Instead of having a zip they had buttons that did up in individual sewn pockets. When you’re a kid and in a hurry that doesn’t work and dad’s fat sausage like fingers weren’t much help either. He was later to resolve this with a pocket knife and turn the individual pockets into one big one.
After Taupo we headed for the Desert road and in those days there were a series of one lane timber bridges over the many streams that state highway 1 had to cross. We were happily chugging along when we came across a long line of cars on our side of the road. No cars on the other side, so my dad decides that we should pass the whole lot and get to the front to see what the hold up is.
The queue stopped at a long white single lane timber bridge. About 1/3 rd of the way along from our end was a Humber 80 that seemed to have crashed into a Chev Impala. There were quite a lot of people gathered around trying to decide what to do including the Humber driver whose face was covered in blood. I thought he was dying but apparently just lots of blood from lots of superficial cuts. I had never seen so much blood. Then somebody says “has anyone got a tow rope?” to which my dad says “yes I have”. As some men take the rope and start tying it to the Humber, dad turns Rosie around and backs onto the bridge up to the Humber. Several men had to jump up and down on each cars bumpers until they unhooked from each other and the Humber was towed off and the Impala was pushed off the bridge the other way.
Dad then turned Rosie around again and we were allowed to be the first car across the bridge. Of course my dad thought the he and Rosie were heroes but the queue of cars on the other side of the bridge stretched for miles and the people that were out of sight of the bridge glared at us as if we had been the reason why they were stuck in traffic for so long.
The rest of the trip was uneventful apart from the speed limiter effect of the front wheels flapping about so much that we couldn’t go over 45 mph. This was rectified somewhat the next day when some club members did an on the spot wheel balancing and adjustment. We duly arrived in Wellington and it had taken us 12 hours in total. Quite a good effort really. We went and picked up our rally packs and headed to the motor camp where my dad had booked a cabin.
This is where we struck the next hurdle of the trip. There was only a set of bunks in the room which would have been fine if it was just dad as originally planned but there were 3 of us and only 2 beds. Eddie and I were expected to top and tail but every time we moved and touched each other there was a fair amount of kicking and backlash. So dad tried separating us by topping and tailing with Eddie, but that didn’t seem to work either, so in the end he tried topping and tailing with me and that worked enough for all of us to get some sleep. As I recall I think the next night we managed to get a mattress from the camp owner so that we ended up with a bed each. The next day was the main rally which was followed in the evening by the dinner and prizegiving. Poor dad had to make sure we were clean and fed and as happy as possible while still trying to enjoy the occasion himself. Of course after that it was back to the cabin to try and catch up on sleep.
On the Sunday there was a static display with all the cars on display. All I can remember is that there seemed to be an awful lot of cars and a very high ratio of veterans compared to what we see around these days. Plus there was a lot of walking around in the hot sun and a lot of standing around waiting for dad to finish the in depth conversations he seemed to have with all sorts of people he had never met before. Over the years we somehow learnt to cope with this. In those days kids were meant to be seen not heard and needed to pick their moments to interrupt if it was really important like – “I need to go to the toilet now!”
The journey back was apparently uneventful as I don’t really remember it, maybe I slept most of the way. Anyway we made it home, Rosie had not missed a beat and it had taken 12 hours to get home. I think dad was relieved to be back home and I think Mum was very happy to have us all back in one piece.
The photo on the first page is from the Tauranga Library Archives. Other photos from the Tauranga Library Archives include photos of other attendees from Tauranga who also attended the Wellington branch National Easter weekend Rally and are included alongside and on the next page:
DaveShand,1924Douglas350ccM/C
BillJanes,1926 Vauxhall GordonandJanetPearce,1924 Bentley3litre
(I have assumed these are correct from reading the rally number cards displayed).
Happy Motoring, Paul
The 77 Royal Coupe was originally purchased new by a lady from Taupo. On her death, the car passed to her son, a farmer near Raetihi.
Years later the car was ‘discovered’ by Basil Anderton (then farming near Taihape), latterly of Tauranga. The car was in the farmer’s barn with a dog tied to each wheel and chickens roosting in the Rumble Seat. Basil Anderton purchased the car in 1965 and restored it with completion around 1968.
With the Chrysler 77 Royal Coupe, Basil won The Chrysler Restorers Club of NZ Inc., ‘Todd Cup’ (People’s Choice) in 1981/82 and again in 1989/90. After rallying the car throughout New Zealand, Basil Anderton died at the commencement of the VCC 1992 International Rally based in Palmerston North. The car was subsequently purchased from the Basil’s Estate by the his niece, Beverley Oliver.
Beverley & David Oliver completed a ‘body off’ re-restoration of the car, the motor was completely and professionally reconditioned, the car’s woodwork (the cab in particular) was re-wooded and given several coats of preservative along with new exterior vinyl. The interior was re-upholstered and the two-pack paint job is first class. All tyres are in very good condition with plenty of tread on all tyres.
Beverley & David have rallied the car extensively including a Tour of the South Island. The Oliver’s have also won the ‘Todd Cup’ on two occasions, the first in 2014 and the second in 2022.
More pictures on following page.
You may never look at a battery again, in the same way after reading this article, which was sent to us earlier in 2022 by Alastair Jones. Think about your day for a moment; how many batteries did you rely on? Car, torch, hearing aid?
What is a battery? Tesla said it best when he called them Energy Storage Systems. That’s important - they do not make electricity – they store electricity produced elsewhere, primarily by coal, uranium, natural gas -powered plants, or diesel-fuelled generators. Saying an EV is a zero-emission vehicle is not at all valid. Also, since forty percent of the electricity generated in the U.S. is from coal-fired plants, it follows that forty percent of the EVs on the road are coal-powered. “Einstein’s formula, E=MC2, tells us it takes the same amount of energy to move a five-thousand-pound gasoline-driven automobile a mile as it does an electric one. The only question again is what produces the power? To reiterate, it does not come from the battery; the battery is only the storage device, like a gas tank in a car.”
There are two orders of batteries, rechargeable, and single-use. The most common single-use batteries are A, AA, AAA, C, D. 9V, and lantern types. Those dry-cell species use zinc, manganese, lithium, silver oxide, or zinc and carbon to store electricity chemically. Please note they all contain toxic, heavy metals. Rechargeable batteries only differ in their internal materials, usually lithium-ion, nickel-metal oxide, and nickel-cadmium.
The United States uses three billion of these two battery types a year, and most are not recycled; they end up in landfills. California is the only state which requires all batteries be recycled. If you throw your small, used batteries in the trash, here is what happens to them. All batteries are self-discharging. That means even when not in use, they leak tiny amounts of energy. You have likely ruined a flashlight or two from an old, ruptured battery. When a battery runs down and can no longer power a toy or light, you think of it as dead; well, it is not. It continues to leak small amounts of electricity. As the chemicals inside it run out, pressure builds inside the battery’s metal casing, and eventually, it cracks. The metals left inside then ooze out. The ooze in your ruined flashlight is toxic, and so is the ooze that will inevitably leak from every battery in a landfill. All batteries eventually rupture; it just takes rechargeable batteries longer to end up in the landfill.
In addition to dry cell batteries, there are also wet cell ones used in automobiles, boats, and motorcycles. The good thing about those is that ninety percent of them are recycled. Unfortunately, we do not yet know how to recycle EV batteries or care to dispose of single-use ones properly. But that is not half of it. For those of you excited about electric cars and a green revolution, take a closer look at batteries and windmills and solar panels. These three technologies share what we call environmentally destructive embedded costs. Everything manufactured has two costs associated with it, embedded costs and operating costs.
Let’s explain embedded costs using a can of baked beans as our subject. In this scenario, baked beans are on sale, so you jump in your car and head for the grocery store. Sure enough, there they are on the shelf for $1.75 a can. As you head to the checkout, you begin to think about the embedded costs in the can of beans. The first cost is the diesel fuel the farmer used to plough the field, till the ground, harvest the beans, and transport them to the food processor.
Not only is his diesel fuel an embedded cost, so are the costs to build the tractors, combines, and trucks. In addition, the farmer might use a nitrogen fertilizer made from natural gas. Next is the energy costs of cooking the beans, heating the building, transporting the workers, and paying for the vast amounts of electricity used to run the plant. The steel can containing the beans is also an embedded cost. Making the steel can requires mining taconite, shipping it by boat, extracting the iron, placing it in a coal-fired blast furnace, and adding carbon. Then it’s back on another truck to take the beans to the grocery store. Finally, add in the cost of the gasoline for your car. But wait - can you guess one of the highest but rarely acknowledged embedded costs? It’s the depreciation on the 5000-pound car you used to transport one pound of canned beans!
But that can of beans is nothing compared to an EV battery which is hundreds of times more complicated. These embedded costs are not only in the form of energy use; they come as environmental destruction, pollution, disease, child labour, and the inability to be recycled. EV batteries weigh one thousand pounds and are about the size of a travel trunk. They contain twenty-five pounds of lithium, sixty pounds of nickel, 44 pounds of manganese, 30 pounds cobalt, 200 pounds of copper, and 400 pounds of aluminium, steel, and plastic. Inside them are 6,831 individual lithium-ion cells. It should concern you that all those toxic components come from mining. For instance, to manufacture each EV auto battery you must process 25,000 pounds of brine for the lithium, 30,000 pounds of ore for the cobalt, 5,000 pounds of ore for the nickel, and 25,000 pounds of ore for copper. All told, you dig up 500,000 pounds of the earth’s crust for just - one - battery. We mentioned disease and child labour before. Here’s why. Sixty-eight percent of the world’s cobalt, a significant part of a battery, comes from the Congo. Their mines have no pollution controls, and they employ children who die from handling this toxic material. Should we factor in these diseased kids as part of the cost of driving an electric car? Finally, consider this - California is building the largest battery in the world near San Francisco, and they intend to power it from solar panels and windmills. They claim this is the ultimate in being ‘green,’ but it is not! This construction project is creating an environmental disaster. Let me tell you why. The main problem with solar arrays is the chemicals needed to process silicate into the silicon used in the panels. To make pure enough silicon requires processing it with hydrochloric acid, sulfuric acid, nitric acid, hydrogen fluoride, trichloroethane, and acetone. In addition, they also need gallium, arsenide, copper-indium-gallium- diselenide, and cadmium-telluride, which also are highly toxic. Silicon dust is a hazard to the workers, and the panels cannot be recycled. Windmills are the ultimate in embedded costs and environmental destruction. Each weigh 1688 tons (the equivalent of 23 houses) and contains 1300 tons of concrete, 295 tons of steel, 48 tons of iron, 24 tons of fiberglass, and the hard to extract rare earths neodymium, praseodymium, and dysprosium. Each blade weighs 81,000 pounds and will last 15 to 20 years, at which time it must be replaced. We cannot recycle used blades. Sadly, both solar arrays and windmills kill birds, bats, sea life, and migratory insects. There may be a place for these technologies, but you must look beyond the myth of zero emissions. One prediction is that EVs and windmills will be abandoned once the embedded environmental costs of making and replacing them become apparent.
I have never been one for writing a bucket list, maybe in my head, but that’s been about the extent of it, I have always left that carry-on for the other half (aka Jim) to do. One of the many things that has been on Jim’s so-called list for several years, was to hire a campervan and drive from Darwin to Perth.
And like many other Kiwis who have travelled extensively around Australia, that stretch of the road is about one of the very few we haven’t motored on, so now was as good a time as ever to put the wheels in motion and take on another one of our challenges.
The planning of this adventure was hatched in January this year at the Vero International Festival over a few wines with four other keen experienced VCC motoring types. Jim in discussion with Eddie and Shelley Simpson, plus Oliver and Nicola Midgely explained his wish, the next thing all four said “count us in”!
I can assure you when Jim Smylie is on the case there is no mucking around, or long-term planning involved, soon as you say the words, ‘what a great idea,’ to a suggestion, before you know it everything moves with the speed of light. The departure date for this five-week adventure to transpire was set for five days after the 2022 VCC NICC Tour finished (no time to let the dust settle in our life). Hardly the perfect time weather-wise to go travelling in the Northern Territory of Australia, but we all convinced ourselves we were a hardy bunch and used to hot weather, so all we would need to do is crank up the old air con and everything would be sweet, famous last words. How is it when you are packing your bags it always seems to be raining and cold. You look down at your lily-white winter legs, and start counting down the days you have left to be able to go and enjoy some decent warm weather. It’s rather a shock really, because you step out on the tarmac at Darwin, neither suitable dressed nor prepared to be hit with a dramatic change in temperature; in our case 39 degrees of heat and humidity. Wham, it knocks you for a sixer, at that moment you wish you could be ‘Dr Who’ and return to the weather-zone where you came from.
After one night in Darwin to pick up the vans, we headed off. In brief we drove 7000 kms in trusty Maui campervans for 31 days. Considering the distance we travelled, none of us encountered any mechanical issues with the vans we hired, so Maui ticked all the hire boxes for us. Although Maui did have a couple of over-riders on the rules of hiring; 1)donotexceedyourspeedpast110kms,otherwiseyouwillbestungwithaheftyfine,and2)donottravelon unsealedturfoffthemainroadmorethan12kms.
I must admit both rules did slow the drivers down somewhat in their tracks, but these rules didn’t spoil our trip.
We covered a fair old distance and visited numerous POI on route. Some of the towns, villages, and national parks that we stayed at, and visited, included Litchfield,Batchelor,Katherine,LakeArgyle,BungleBungle,HallsCreek,Derby,Broome,80MileBeach,PortHedland,Karijini,TomPrice,Exmouth,Carnarvon,MonkeyMia,Kalabari,PortDenison,Lancelin,Geraldton,Pindar,andNewNorcia.
Except for the odd one or two places, most you would have heard of, or visited previously. Our days were long, we tried to be on the road between 8am – 8.30am, and our goal was to be off the roads and have our accommodation all sussed by 5pm, just in time to enjoy the customary daily ‘Happy Hour’. Our trip was packed daily with wonderful highlights, I personally enjoyed the following stopovers. NaturesWindow,HallsCreek,andNewNorcia .
Natures Window and the new Sky Walk at Kalbari National Park were fantastic, and not to be missed if you ever make it to Western Australia. Also, for different reasons I enjoyed Halls Creek which is situated not far from the Northern Territory and Western Australia border. The local Aussies spelt it out to us, in no uncertain terms that we should give Halls Creek a wide berth. Even the lovely Māori girl that served us when we collected the vans stressed that we should not stop there. The main issue they have in Hall’s Creek is the high percentage of unemployed youths in the town who have a reputation for causing trouble for Grey Nomads like us. However, there was no stopping our GungHo group, and because of where Halls Creek is situated, we had Hobson’s choice but to pitch up and spend the night there due to us all having low fuel. Our other option was to run the gauntlet, and travel for many hours in the dark to the next roadhouse, not ideal. Before the night sky set in the lads decided they were going to have their own Happy Hour at the local Hall’s Creek pub. They agreed safety in numbers was the way to go, so off they set on their own wee boy adventure. Lol… needless to say, the visit to the Halls Creek local was an experience. The place was heavily guarded, and they had to prove their age, and, have a breath analyser put on them before they could enter the establishment. The latter was discussed at many Happy Hours the days following with the story being slightly extended each time it was retold. A bit more excitement to add to our overnight stay at Halls Creek, was during our evening at the local camping ground, we were visited twice by the gendarmes with their roof lights flashing. They had come on a mission to advise us very strongly to batten down our hatches for the night, and to make sure we didn’t leave any belongings outside, because they could guarantee they wouldn’t be there in the morning.
The forever cautious Kiwis dutifully followed instruction, left our outdoor lights on, and hunkered down for what we thought could be an exciting night.
Once again, no such luck, I think if there was anyone casing the joint out, the three bearded ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ look-a-likes frightened away any would-be-hooligan who was having second thoughts of taking our bunch on.
Most of the 31 days we were on the road we travelled together as a group, however, when we were tracking closer to Perth, we departed the others for a couple of days and travelled inland. This was when we had a most enjoyable stop-over at Australia’s’ only monastic town –NewNorcia.
Our accommodation for the night was in our campervan, and we got the wonderful opportunity to stay on the grounds of the Monastery and experience the Monastic Lifestyle. The highlight of our evening was experiencing a 1,500-year-old tradition and to join the seven resident Benedictine monks in their Monastery oratory, for prayers and dinner. What an eclectic and clarifying memorable experience for us both. New Norcia is worth Googling to find out more about it, the place has quite a history. It is renowned for their legendary Benedictine wine, and delicious homemade sourdough bread.
After 31 days we rolled into Perth, and returned the vans to Maui. We then went on to spend several days with Jim’s cousin before taking the long
flight back to New Zealand. Needless, to say, we got home rather weary to find our ‘trusty’ credit card account (much overdrawn), had arrived before us, a wee dash of realism.
So, folks if your bucket-list is a tad short of things to do, the Smylies, Simpsons, and the Midgley’s wouldn’t hesitate in telling you to consider taking on this driving challenge. We did it and loved every km of it!
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a colour diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Sydney. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR ARSE!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now, suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of Australia's enemies. I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken soup, which is basically water, only with less flavour. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-litre plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a litre is about 2 1/2 pints). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon. The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humour, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, shitting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another litre of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep shitting. I was thinking, 'What if I shit on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?
Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the hell the forms said.
Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked. Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was pissed off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too hammered to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house. When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anaesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anaesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like. I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colours. I have never been prouder of an internal organ..
On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. Take it easy Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.
2. 'Find Lord Lucan yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Glasgow, we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
And the best one of all:
12. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
Written by Sterling McGinn. Sent into Klaxon by David Stafford.
The Model A Ford is a special car. They are still on the road after all these years and are truly the “modern” antique vehicle.
The Model A, which debuted in 1927, is arguably one of the most popular antique cars prized by enthusiasts. With two major clubs, the Model A Ford Club of American (MAFCA), and the Model A Restorer’s Club (M.A.R.C.) the cars are known the country and the world over. The vehicles are very simple and are far from luxurious. Even back then, they rode rougher and didn’t have all the accessories and the appeal of bigger cars. But the Model A was and is reliable and easy to fix. It will turn any head when motoring down a street. There are still many companies manufacturing and selling Model A parts. Here is how it all began.
Henry Ford was still manufacturing his famous Model T in 1927, a car that had been a success on the market for many years. He made about 15 million Model T autos. To compete with other major auto companies, Henry Ford reluctantly abandoned the car that made him famous. He and his only son, Edsel, rolled out Model A number 1 in December 1927. These fine automobiles were manufactured from 1928 until 1931, and their cars caught the eye of the masses in its day. The Model A was also a success. The car had a 40 horsepower, four-cylinder, engine with a top speed of 65 mph. It was a big improvement from the old “Tin Lizzie”. The new auto had a real transmission, more features, and a prettier body. An average individual at the beginning of the Great Depression could afford a Model A Ford. A Model A Tudor sedan cost $500, or about $8,261.61 in 2022. That Tudor model was the number one seller. The Model A was manufactured in many body styles, including roadster, cabriolet, phaeton, and pick-up truck. Closed cars styles included the Tudor, Fordor, and Victoria.
Even in the 1950s, motorists were still driving classic cars. Rough roads broke them up and rust took its toll on the bodies. Many of the cars were eventually abandoned and parked behind barns and along fence rows. Sometime in the 1950s, the enthusiasm towards the cars renewed and people began restoring them.
After 40 years, the Model A Ford and first year coyote Mustang are still pretty special cars. Why? I think it’s the people of the hobby. They are the magic that keep these classic beauties on the road decades later. There is also an emotional element and a personal and family connection to the vehicles. Maybe that’s why I am a proud Model A owner.
As a child, I used to watch the members of our local Model A Ford club, the Yooper As, drive their cars in local parades, to McDonalds, and on club tours. They sure caught my eye. The hobby was contagious. I soon met some of the members, and they offered me rides, shared their knowledge, and even taught me the art of driving one of their prized processions. They were sure brave! I met and became friends with Fred Greca, Rick Falconer, the late Charlie Johnson, and Jim Reynolds, among others. I bought my first Model A when I was attending Newberry High School. It was a basket case. The engine, however, ran and was reliable. It needed new paint, and interior and body work. After graduating in 2013, and not knowing what the future would hold, the car had to be sold.
The most influential Model A’er in my life was my step-grandpa, John Duflo. He and his sister, Bernice, loved those cars and owned them throughout their lives. Grandpa John had several when he attended Newberry High School in the 1950s. He later transported a 1931 Model A Victoria to the Philippines, then to Little Rock, Arkansas and to K.I. Sawyer Air Force Base during his career in the Air Force. While watching old 8mm family films, you can see Grandpa John working on that well-traveled car. He restored it a couple of times, and reupholstered the interior with old wool Army blankets, which was similar to the original mohair material. He would always have a big smile when he talked about the time that he drove the Victoria down Bourbon Street in New Orleans. When he retired and moved back to Newberry, he brought the car back home with him. Grandpa John developed health problems, and sold his Model A Victoria in the early 1990s. But he still lit up anytime he talked about it. I wish I could find that car, though I think it would be nearly impossible.
Later in his life, he purchased a two-tone tan Model A Ford Fordor, with a body manufactured by Murray. I now own that car. Like many Model A cars out there, it is the perfect driver car and looks good from across the street. It has paint issues on the fenders, but I am still proud to own the car. You can enjoy the vehicle as it is or you can shop paint supplies for your car and have it restored from top to bottom.
The best part of driving a Model A is the people that you meet along the way. They always have many questions and I love to share my knowledge with them. Being behind the wheel of a Model A is the best feeling in the world, and the passengers can experience life in the slow lane. Model A Fords make people happy. Just take a ride in your Model A and count the smiles, yells, and waves that occur as you’re driving. When you honk your “ahooga” horn people go crazy, and you can tell you made their day.
I think it is important to share the wealth of knowledge with people, especially kids. We need to generate an interest with the younger people, so the Model A Ford hobby lasts for generations to come. The Model A cars still have plenty of life left in them. They are not expensive and are easily obtainable. It’s almost that time of year when Michigan Model A owners are getting their cars out from their long winter slumber. They take a little bit of maintenance, but they always start up and are ready to hit the road. There is nothing like the camaraderie of fellow Model A enthusiasts, who will both help you with your car and share a laugh and a good story.
If you have a Model A, get it out, and make someone’s day! That is what they are for.
Editorsnote: Personally I know little about Model As, but I agree that it’s the people who own them who keep them alive. Certainly Members of various Model A Clubs here in NZ seem to use them a lot, go everywhere in them, and have a heap of fun!
Thanks for sending the article in David!
The Tesla struck me as the ideal EV car for a long drive. The vehicle brimmed with futuristic features: there was a giant iPad in front of the driver and passenger. It incorporated a variety of nifty features and, most importantly, a map showing the location of recharging stations. My EV experienced companion, Jonathan, suggested we pull up at Gundagai, plug the car in and grab some breakfast. I agreed that was a good idea. The drive was effortless, and before long we'd arrived at the feet of the Dog on the Tuckerbox, to pull up at a bank of charging stations. There was another Tesla and a Volvo Polestar already receiving an intravenous dose of 240 volts. However, it turns out that Teslas aren't fit for long trips. "We'll be here for up to an hour or so" Jonathan said as he plugged in our Tesla so we partook in the first of what would be many roadside gourmand experiences for the day – two bacon and egg rolls and coffee. In half an hour we returned to the car, where the other EV drivers were now unplugging their 'life' support. Despite being part of the 2 per cent of the population who own EV's, it struck me how no one was making any chitchat about their cars; you know – "G'day mate! How many megahertz are you getting to the gallon?" kind of thing. Instead, clearly wary of these electrical interlopers, Jonathan told me to keep an eye on which way they were heading because it was imperative we got to a town before them - if there's only one charger in a town, which they get to first, it'll be a good hour and half wait while they charge, then an hour or more for us.
I now see what he was getting at: for EV drivers out there, it's a lithium-battery Hunger Game – a charge to get charged before the other guy takes charge!
Stuffed with bacon and egg rolls, we headed for Wagga Wagga, some 88km away, where our mission was to quickly find the resident charging station placed in a car park, then another 45minute stay to recharge again. A vanilla slice and 45 minutes later and we were back on the road, heading for the only charging station in Narrandera. It was a lonely monument to a green Australia, in a side street where we hooked up for yet another electricity fix. A pie from the bakery this time; then - as ever-expanding local-pastry-filled Electric Road Warriors - were on the last leg to Griffith. With one eye on the road, and the other on the ever diminishing battery-level symbol on the car's IPad, we arrived in town to hook up for an electro-adrenaline hit, yet again.
As someone who'd had no experience with EVs in the bush I was now taken hold by a new and genuine phenomenon that's recently arisen with the advent of electric cars. It's a paranoia known euphemistically as "range anxiety" – a rather patronising term suggesting that the fear of being stranded in the never-never without a spark of electricity and facing certain death is merely some sort of minor psychosis, like being afraid of the dark.
I knew electric vehicles had questionable range, but I had no idea of the seat-of-the-pants logistics of driving one in the Outback. It was becoming glaringly obvious to me the federal government's rabid fervour to fast-track electric vehicles by cracking down and dispensing with the internal combustion engine seems more than alarming in that we're not being given the full picture of what the consequences will be.
There are two issues with EVs that proponents gloss over: the cars' batteries don't like cold weather or continuous high-speed driving. Lithium batteries have reduced efficiency when it's cold, and if you put the heater on the battery level-level diminishes even quicker thereby dramatically reducing the range. MYEV.com says to keep the battery happy you should park the car in a heated garage. However, that places an additional load onto the general electricity grid. EVs are happier in the "stop-start" driving you find in the city rather than the 'open' road. As the EV is running out of charge, it will give you warning by resorting to 'limp' mode before stopping. It is paramount that you always have sufficient charge and range on your mobile phone to call for a tilt tray recovery truck ride to the nearest charging station. Scandinavian countries such as Norway are wheeled out as the poster 'children' for EVs. Yet the widest part of Norway is roughly the distance from Sydney to Dubbo, whereas the widest part of Australia, for example, is equivalent to the distance from London to Moscow! If we were compelled to drive EVs, who on would be brave enough to visit remote towns in the likes of Australia? This would conceivably curtail enthusiasm for regional tourism.
Recently at a roadside servo between Wilcannia and Cobar, the cafe was alive with tourists exploring NSW post-Covid. However, not an EV nor charging station to be seen. On another occasion, driving a diesel Toyota Prado in the outback, a 250km detour was needed due to flooding. How you could do that in an EV?
As for Jonathan and I, our return journey was the long, anxious process of charger-hopping in reverse sequence, as late as 12.30am, while the car took on more volts. This took the shine off our grand motoring adventure – and not a vanilla slice in sight!!
An electric car has to do around 120,000 km before its carbon neutral. That’s about the time the batteries need to be replaced. There is a place for them, but we have just not got it right yet.
Cleaning with out chemicals or abrasives, it is eco friendly and cost effective way compared to other methods such as media blasting or paint stripping. It can remove light rust off delicate car/engine parts. It will easily clean a metal head gasket previously impossible with conventional cleaning methods. Benefits are - no harsh chemicals, no abrasives, no expensive set up cost (as with media blasting), no loud noises during the process, no hazards as with high pressure equipment, very precise cleaning and no clean up cost!
This cleaning can be done in your garage if required as it is plug and play! Cost is dependant on size of job
CHAIRMAN
ALASTAIR JONES (GWEN) 07 5761124
PAST CHAIRMAN KEN FREW (DIANNE) 07 5764263
SECRETARY MICHAEL THORMAN (JANE) 07 5444291
TREASURER KEITH PERKINS (JANE) 027 578 1231
CLUB CAPTAIN JILL WHITCOMBE [JOHN ] 07 552 4201
COMMITTEE BRIAN PRATT (CINDY) 07 5447952
COMMITTEE KAAREN SMYLIE (JIM) 07 576 4180
COMMITTEE JOHN WHITCOMBE [JILL ] 07 552 4201 COMMITTEE DON WHITE 07 544 0938
PATRON
ALASTAIR JONES (GWEN) 07 5761124
HALL HIRE KAAREN SMYLIE (JIM) 021 664341
LIBRARIAN YVONNE BECK (PAUL) 07 5720163
PARTS SHED JACK ANDERSON (MERILYN) 07 5766346
PROPERTY MANAGER JACK ANDERSON (MERILYN) 07 5766346
NEW MEMBERS KEN FREW (DIANNE) 07 5764263
SWAPMEET RON ELTON (KERRY) 07 5799621
HON. SOLICITOR PETER BUTLER (MARION) 07 5756892
VIC CERTIFICATION ALASTAIR JONES (GWEN) 07 5761124
VIC CERTIFICATION IVAN ALLEN (YVONNE) 07 5432629
WELFARE MERILYN ANDERSON (JACK) 07 5766346
WEBSITE PAUL BECK (YVONNE) 07 5720163
RUN CO-ORDINATOR JILL WHITCOMBE [JOHN ] 07 552 4201
KLAXON EDITOR BRYCE STRONG ( CHRISTINE) 0274 966706
FACEBOOK DEIDRE RENNIE (TONY) 021 665 875
SAFETY OFFICER BRIAN PRATT 07 5447952
KLAXON EMAIL: klaxoninfo@gmail.com CLUB WEBSITE: www.bayofplentyvintagecarclub.com
SECRETARY EMAIL: bayofplenty@vcc.org.nz FACEBOOK bay of plenty vintage car club (Public page)
For Club enquiry's at anytime contact Kaaren Smylie 07 576 4180 or 021-66-43-41
The Club Rooms are 29 Cliff Road. P O Box 660, Tauranga, 3144.
Key contacts are:
Chairman– Alastair Jones 07 5761124 Email: gandajones@kinect.co.nz
Secretary– Michael Thorman 07 5444291 Email: bayofplenty@vcc.org.nz
Club Captain Jill Whitcombe 07 5524201 Email: johnandjill37@gmail.com
Club night (except January) - 2nd Monday, start time 7.30pm
Mid week run — Wednesday following the club night
End of the month run Held on the last Sunday of the month.
Committee Meeting Last Monday of the month Noggin ‘n’ Natter 4th Tuesday at 6pm
Location Sequence of Noggin ‘n’ Natter
1, Tauranga- Tauranga Citizens Club, Cameron Road. Contact is Kaaren Smylie phone 021 664341 or 07 576 4180
2. TePuke– The Anann restaurant. 4 Palmer Place. Contact is Paul McIndoe phone 5733328
3. Tauranga- Tauranga Citizens Club, Cameron Road.
4. Katikati- Forta Leza Café, SH 2, Katikati. Contact is Owen Smith, phone 07 570 2000
If your birthday falls in this month please remember it is your turn to provide a plate for supper. Thanks to last months birthday people for their food.
Please remember to wear your name badges to all events. BADGES ARE FREE TO NEW MEMBERS.
LIBRARY HOURS— The library is open on club nights from 7pm. Also on most Monday mornings Yvonne & Paul work in the library until midday. Members are welcome to call in to search for or return books. If making a special trip please phone them at home on 07 572 0163 or 027 6098510 beforehand to ensure that they will be there. We are accepting good clean car service manuals or books that relate to automobile history or travel for our club library
PARTS SHED—Clean out your sheds and bring those surplus parts down. They may be just what someone else needs Parts shed open most Monday morning. Contacts are Jack 07 5766346 or Colin 027 2629161 HELPUSHIREOUTTHECLUBROOMS!
CONTACTKAARENSMYLIE075764180OR 021664341