VCC HAWKES BAY THE MAG OCTOBER 2024

Page 1


Volume Number 110 / Number 09 / October 2024

HB Branch Contacts

Send in Your Contributions

Chairman’s Report

Club Captain Report

Calendar of Events

65 Year Anniversary

Mid Week Run Report

Roam & Chrome Run Report

Your Branch Photos

An Austin Healy Auto-biography Up and Coming Events

Notice Board

Spare News

Classifieds

Address: PO Box 3406, Napier 4142 Clubrooms: 67 Sandy Road, Meeanee, Napier

Phone: Please note that the landline number has been disconnected, please refer to our website

Email: hawkesbay@vcc.org.nz

Website: www.hbvcc.org.nz

Club night is the 2nd Wednesday of the month @ 7.30pm at the Clubrooms - Supper provided.

Clubrooms, Library & Spares Department Open: Tuesday morning’s @ 9am -11am. Morning Tea available.

Hawkes Bay Branch Contacts

Non Committee Roles Committee Roles

Chairman:

Ian Elmsly (Kay)

C. 027 479 0682

E. ian.elmsly@xtra.co.nz

Past Chairman:

Esther Smith (Graham)

C. 027 464 7314

E. Humber@xtra.co.nz

Secretary:

Larry Morgan (Cindy)

C. 021 401 092

E. hawkesbay@vcc.org.nz

Club Captain:

Robert Benge (Katrina)

C. 021 757 215

E. horselessauto@gmail.com

Treasurer:

Paul Eager (Carol)

C. 027 231 4304

E. hbtreasurer@vcc.org.nz

Committee:

Malcolm Blair (Lesley)

C. 021 576 360

E. malcolmblair52@gmail.com

Alastair Chalmers (Jean)

C. 020 4088 4523

E. alastairchalmers@hotmail.co.uk

Steve Donovan (Pam)

C. 027 217 7730

E. stevedon@xtra.co.nz

4

Craig Manning (Beth)

C. 021 954 958

E. cmanning@inspire.net.nz

Mercia Paaymans (Hans)

C. 027 325 0112

E. hapmap@xtra.co.nz

HB Branch Life Members:

Allan Harris

Trevor Charman

Librarian:

Larry Morgan (Cindy)

C. 021 401 092

E. lazzer56@gmail.com

Club Custodian:

Steve Donovan (Pam) C. 027 217 7730

E. stevedon@xtra.co.nz

Wednesday Run:

Barrie Browne (Lyndsay) C: 027 270 1238

E. clydebrowne@xtra.co.nz

Cruise Ship Co-Ordinator:

Colin Barnes (Judy)

C. 027 695 7075

E.cruiseshipcoordinator@xtra.co.nz

Mag Editor:

Kay Elmsly

C .027 286 6480

E. hbvccmag@gmail.com

Spares Manager:

Brian Taylor (Margaret) C. 027 443 6009

Spares Assistant Manger:

John Durry (Jenny) C. 022 676 9401

Groundsman:

Trevor Charman (Lyn) C. 027 292 6068

E. trevlyncharm@actrix.co.nz

Mix & Mingle :

Malcolm & Lesley Blair

C. 021 576 360

E. malcolmblair52@gmail.com

Beaded wheels:

Diane Friis

C. 027 305 1716

E: di.friis@xtra.co.nz

Send In Your Contributions

Articles, Photos, Reminiscenes, Mechanical Tips, Notices, Funnies

Please submit your contributions by: 20th of the Month

Late contributions are accepted only if time allows, please phone to check if this is ok.

Email to: hbvccmag@gmail.com

Editor: Kay Elmsly, Mobile 027 286 6480

Contactable during work hours 9am-5pm Monday-Friday

Theviewsexpressedhereinarethoseoftheauthorsanddonotnecessarilyexpressthepolicyor views of the Editor, the Hawke’s Bay Branch of the Vintage Car Club of New Zealand (Inc), the Vintage Car Club of New Zealand (Inc) or other publishers. The editor/committee reserves the right to accept, edit, publish, abridge or decline contributions submitted for publication. All names, dates and times published are checked against the material supplied and the editor/committee can have no responsibilty for mistakes in the copy supplied. Some material maybeheldoveruntilthereissufficientspacetopublishit.

Club Run Photos by: Flores Snelgrove

Chairman’s Report

Greeting to all members and I hope you are looking forward to some decent Spring weather followed by a nice balmy summer!! (Or am I dreaming?) But let’s not dwell on things we cannot change. The club is in good spirits and our last Club Night was a great success with Captain Roberts “Antique & Collectables” evening. So much so that he has promised another one in the new year due to the number of members wanting to come forward with some very interesting items and the accompanying story. Sadly the Club Run had to be gassed due to the weather, but that's the way things roll.

October is looming as a busy month with the main event being “Safari” on the 18th - 21st October, and this event is full! A great level of support for what plans to be an interesting weekend. For those who have either missed out or have other engagements, maybe you should note it into your next year's calendar to avoid disappointment.

There is also the “Art Deco” picnic being held at the Waikoko Gardens at the Hastings A & P show grounds on Friday the 25th October (Refer notice elsewhere in the MAG) along with our normal Club Night and Run (for those unable to attend Safari).

Also of major note is the Clubs 65th Anniversary being held 2224th November and registrations are open. This event is very reliant on your support so please register now.

So that's it from me. Look forward to seeing you at the clubrooms and drive safely.

Ian

Club Captain Report

I would like to Congratulate Craig and Malcolm on organising the Roam & Chrome event BBQ it was a great turnout of club members and vehicles fantastic to have the use of Booths transport BBQ certainly helped with our fundraising efforts for the cancer Society.

Thank you to all those members that assisted on the day it was really appreciated. The September club night which was the Antique and Collectibles evening turned out to be a great success. I really thank all members that participated and bringing along some very unusual and interesting items, it was amazing how many items had great sentimental value to their owners. It was a great evening had by all I didn’t know we had so many public speakers in the club.

Speaking of club nights our October club night will be a quiz night hosted by Paul and Carol Eager, should be a lot of fun so please come along and support it. Please note the event will be BYO.

The Sunday run which will be held on the 13th October please see page in the magazine for run details it will be a short tour around Havelock North before heading back to the club rooms for afternoon tea as the following weekend will be the Safari rally to Cambridge for those who are attending.

Please note I’m still looking for guest speakers and locations of interest to visit for future events so if you have anything in mind please don’t hesitate to let me know.

One final thing from myself is a reminder of our 65th anniversary rally in November the event is hugely important to our branch and we need your support so if you have not entered by now please do so don’t leave it to the last minute your branch needs you.

Safe & happy motoring.

Calendar of Events for October 2024

MID-WEEK RUNWednesday 2nd October

ALWAYS the 1st Wednesday of the Month.

Meeting Time: 10.00am for 10.30am

departure

Location : VCC Clubrooms

For more info on this month’s

Wednesday run refer to pager 9

MIX & MINGLE NIGHT -

There won’t be a Mix & Mingle Night for October

CLUB NIGHT Wednesday 9th October

More information on this Club Night refer to Page 10

CLUB SUNDAY RUNSunday 13th October

Refer to Page 11 for more information about this run.

Every Tuesday morning the Club and the Spares Department are open between 9am & 11am. A cuppa is made around 10am for those that would like to have a sit down and have a natter.

Mid Week Run - Wednesday 2nd October 2024

Meet at the usual time of 10.00am at the Clubrooms for a 10.30am start

Not too long, a little country, a little town.....

There will be questions but no prizes

Morning tea will be provided

You will need:

A picnic lunch, chairs and table

At least one cup each A pen A sunny smile! Your wits about you!!

Quiz Evening - Wednesday 9th October 2024

Quiz evening - Wednesday October 9th @ 7.30pm Club Evening.

Come along to what will be a different kind of club night.

So get your thinking caps on and let’s see how your knowledge banks are!!!

Let’s have some fun and see who knows what, you may surprise yourself.

The evening will be BYO

Come along and support your club and have some fun!

Sunday Club Run - 13th October 2024 @ 2pm

Meet in the car park behind the Rose & Shamrock village Inn on Porter drive Havelock North

This run will take us into the countryside before heading around the hamlet of Havelock North before finishing back at the club rooms for tea & coffee

So pack up your favourite vehicle with family & friends

For those attending Safari perfect opportunity for a shakedown of your vehicle for the following weekend.

Art Deco Picnic -

Friday 25th October

TIME: 12.00PM - 2.00PM

WAIKOKO GARDENS A & P SHOW GROUNDS  IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE HAWKES BAY A & P SHOW

Vintage cars in the garden which creates a naturally themed backdrop.

Encourage people to dress up in their art deco wear, people bring their own picnics, and we may add in some art deco music if budgets allow and there has been chatter of a fashion flaunt of sorts as well.

This is a great idea and gives you a chance to dust off your Art Deco finery.

There is no charge to enter this event but can everyone who is planning on attending please, let me know as soon as possible so that all preparations for parking can be worked out in advance to achieve the best possible display to draw in the anticipated crowds to the fabulous world and experience of Art Deco. It will also help me cover off all the H & S requirements that go with public events such as this.

More cars are required for this event. The organisers are providing tickets to go into the A & P show for all those who are providing their cars on the day .

Please respond to me by email - alastairchalmers@hotmail.co.uk or TEXT me only on 020 4088 4523 if you can attend.

Thank you

Alastair Chalmers

Hawkes Bay Vintage Car Club -

Ladies End of Year Luncheon 2024

As we all tend to get very busy later in the month of November / early December, or  head off on our holidays, thought we’d do a very early Christmas/not really Christmas  lunch.

So, for this end of year lunch, we are off to: Jark’s, Maraekakaho Road, Hastings @  12.30pm on Saturday 9th November.

The cost of this is $31.00 plus drinks per lady  and we get a two-course meal.

There are gluten free and vegetarian options but if  there are other dietary requirements, please let me know in good time so that I can  check in with the hosts.

There is a sheet at the club rooms for you to add your name to the list, or you can text  me on 021 238 6378 or email: caroleager100@gmail.com if you would like to join us.

Last year was lots of fun, hopefully we can make this an enjoyable Christmas/not really  Christmas outing once again.

Hope to see you there  Carol

To All Members65 Year Anniversary

This year represents the 65th Anniversary of the Hawkes Bay Branch of the Vintage Car Club Inc and the club are to stage an Anniversary Weekend of celebrations from 22nd November to 24th November.

The weekend will commence on the Friday with the “Rally Opening” from 5-7pm at our Clubrooms.

Saturday is the Rally, with the Clubrooms being the starting point and the destination, a lovely country setting for your picnic lunch and the chance to wander the Gardens & a “collection”. Saturday evening is the “Gala Dinner” to be held at the Taradale Club, Napier (time to be confirmed) with the “theme” for the night to be the “sixties” being the period of the clubs formation, with a Buffet Dinner, a time of reflection and entertainment.

Sunday will be an Open Day at our Clubrooms with a display of vehicles, including some from the original members, and a display of the “Branch History”. A continuous morning tea is to be provided together with a lunchtime BBQ being available.

To assist with the ongoing planning of this event of your club's history, it would be great to have participants commit early, and Entry Forms for the Anniversary Rally will be available late August. Just like motoring, start your motor early and confirm your attendance!!

Participation is open to all current and past members, together with those from other VCC Clubs. If you know past members who may wish to attend please ask them. This is your weekend and your anniversary so let’s make it a celebration to remember.

Any questions please don’t hesitate to contact the Rally Secretary on hbvcc65@gmail.com Entry Forms are available at the Club Rooms.

Regards

HBVCC65 Rally Secretary

Attention Members!

Club Room Hire

Our clubrooms are available to members to hire for special events!

Costs are: $150 Hire fee

Refund of $50 providing the club rooms are left in a clean and orderly manner.

The booking club member must be present for the full duration of the booking hire and is responsible for the premises including the locking up and securing of the building and site.

For further enquiries please contact Steve Donovan - Club Custodian on mobile number 027 217 7730

HBVCC Mid Week Run September

“Be there or be left behind” – the title of this month’s run organised by Barbie and Jim Speers.

10 vehicles and 22 people meet at the Branch Club rooms eager and ready to brave the changed conditions from the previous sunny day.

Warm weather gear was the order of the day, as we received our welcome and instructions, and headed on our way.

The run was split into two sections with the first section taking us to a coffee stop.

From the Club rooms we travelled to Awatoto and onto the state highway via the new roundabout.

We continued south through Clive and onto Napier Road to Havelock North with the next instruction reading – “Left up Guthrie Rd, passing and elite cattery called (Dublin Bay) on your R, {But don’t go in there!!!!}.

As instructed we gave the cats a miss.

HBVCC Mid Week Run September

Continuing on into Havelock North we headed up Duart Rd,passing Duart House to Pufflet Rd and into the parking area to the Keirunga Arts Centre where we were asked to identify something to do with Art and how many. Ans: 3 paint brushes and an artist’s paint palette. (4 items in total)

One of the next instructions read: {left with care to stop sign. Then left up Tanner St, past the “Dead Centre” of Havelock North. (Yep it was pretty quiet in there!!!!)

From there we travelled via Iona Rd and Te Aute Rd onto the main highway south towards Wellington.

Barbie and Jim had organised a coffee stop at the Pekapeka wetlands car park.

Tea, coffee and Barbie’s homemade chocolate cake went down a treat, with the rain still holding off, plus we were well sheltered from the wind by the surrounding shrubbery etc.

At the end of this stop we were provided information about our final destination and a choice of toasted sandwiches that would be available, and Barbie phoned those who ordered through to the Store.

HBVCC Mid Week Run September

From here the route took us to Waipawa and after crossing the bridge we turned right to travel to the OngaOnga store where our lunch stop was and the run finished.

The rain came down and though space was limited we were welcomed by the owners and staff and had an enjoyable lunch, with some of us not leaving until around 3pm, and having a good old chin wag and with the  store people.

A great run with enjoyable company and with a very big thanks to Jim and Barbie for a well organised and enjoyable day.

Next month’s run October is being organised by John Cocking QSM and Lee Anne Freeman

NOTE:

Barrie has asked that I advise the December run will be a Xmas one and will involve a venue for lunch and he will need to know numbers attending a good week in advance so bookings can be confirmed, as this is a busy time of the year for Xmas functions. More to come at our November Run.

Cheers

Daffodil Day Roam & Chrome at Perfume Point

Napier - 1st September

A good crowd of vintage and classic cars turned out for the second of our Daffodil Day fundraising events for the Cancer Society. It was hard to tell exactly how many members and their cars were there as, although early on we were directed to one part of the paddock, numbers grew quickly and very soon there were all types of cars all over the area and the cars just kept coming – several hundred, I’d say! It was a perfect morning to be wandering around admiring so many lovely cars while enjoying a very nice sausage from the VCC Sausage Sizzle, which was part of our fundraising effort, along with the Scouts, who carried the collection buckets around all morning.

Thanks must go to our sponsors:

Booths Logistics – for the most amazing BBQ trailer!

Beard Brothers for the Sausages

And Quality Bakers, Star Foods and Woolworths for the bread, onions, serviettes, etc.

Repco Napier

And also, to Craig Manning for organising our part in the event, and the BBQ trailer, and to Malcom and Lesley, Beth, Carol and the other volunteers who helped out on the day.

Daffodil Day Roam & Chrome at Perfume Point Napier - 1st September

With all the events held, we made a total of $1,584.80 raised for the Cancer Society this year. Well done everyone!

And, if you couldn’t get there on the day and you’d like to see the event, please go to Enthusiasts of British Motor Vehicles on YouTube, where you can find great video of this month’s Roam and Chrome, and several videos of previous events –and I guarantee you’ll see some familiar faces and vehicles.

Malcolm & Lesley Blair representing the Hawkes Bay Vintage & Classic Car Club, with the ladies from The Hawkes Bay Cancer Society exchanging certificates as acknowledgement of the funds raised for Daffodil Day events.

Your Branch Photos

Roam & Chrome for Cancer

Your Branch Photos

Your Branch Photos

Your Branch Photos

Club Night Antiques and Collectibles - 11th September

September’s Club Night was definitely something completely different. We were asked to bring along a favourite or treasured item and be prepared to talk about it briefly.

Members responded well, and we were treated to a very diverse and interesting collection of treasures – including a ceremonial sword owned by a Lieutenant Colonel (which he wore on his wedding day), books on Australian Bushrangers, one rather bent conrod, 150 buttons (out of a collection of 1500!), photos of the aftermath of a tropical cyclone, a beautiful brass blowtorch (used for soldering holes in the roof! No health and safety in those days…), children’s furniture and toys made by doting grandfathers, and a collection miniature books of Shakespeare’s plays, on their own miniature bookshelf (my personal favourite).

There were many others, but too many to list, and all of these items had a story behind them and were important to the person who had brought them.

Thank you to all those brought items, and to Club Captain Robert Benge, whose idea this was. It was an interesting, informative, poignant, funny and most enjoyable evening – and I hope we do it again in the future.

Club Night Antiques and Collectibles - 11th

September

Jersey Boys

The Jersey Boys taken outside the Tabard Theatre in Ahuriri & outside the Masonic Hotel Napier to promote the Jersey Boys production playing at the Municipal theatre in October.

Car supplied on behalf of Hawkes Bay Vintage car Club. Car owned by Steve Trott and driven by Steve Donovan.

It was a great day and really appreciated by the Operatic Society.

An Austin Healey auto-autobiography

Alastair Chalmers

Hastings Hawkes Bay 2021

Part 6B

At the end of 1998 I had a major horse riding accident which hospitalised me for six weeks on a spinal bed, used to controlling things with lots of horsepower. It was 1 horsepower that got me and I was lucky to not end up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.

Would the damage to my back allowed me to race again, it certainly didn’t look too good after I left the hospitalas I couldn’t even stand up straight but I could walk which was a step in the right direction. After 3 months of intensive physio by the best person in Manchester she got me back to being fairly straight again so I went back to riding the horse and tried the seat in the Caterham, apart from a couple of pressure points it was game on again.

Caterham had changed the engine size in the roadsports class to a 1600cc K series engine so all the 1400 cars were either converted or went racing with the 750 Motor Club where we had pretty full grids with some great racing for the next couple of years but as with all one make championships the next generation of cars from Caterham were again superseded and the 750 championship became a class series and the 1400cc cars were drifting towards the back of the grid. I had been there before with the Sprite and wondered what I would have to do to be the first in a race to take that chequered flag. Well the answer is easy, spend a heap of money on a faster, newer car and choose your race series carefully.

I’m a great believer in the Colin Chapman philosophy of build in lightness and a Caterham R400 superlight with a Rover 1.8 K series engine on throttle bodies giving in the region of 200bhp and weighing a little over 500kg put it into the supercar performance bracket for sensible money and with being so light it didn’t wear out tyres and brakes very quickly and was equally as nimble and responsive a car as the 1400 had been, just a lot faster, or so I hoped.

In 2005 I bought a car off EBay (UK version of Trademe) which had been raced in the Caterham championship a couple of years earlier in Comma Oils livery, an offshoot of Esso, but the guy who had bought it had only done track days with it and I think the word maintenance was missing from his vocabulary, no matter how hard I pedalled it the car was only ever a midfield runner in the 750 motor club series, given the way other similar cars would pull away from me out of corners it was obviously way down on power, a case ripe and ready for the full Chalmers strip down and rebuild treatment. About the time that I bought what became known as scruffy dog another R400 came to my attention which was owned by a Caterham employee and hired by a wealthy banker to race in a European series and run by Team Parker. The car had all the latest bits on it and the return from the race hire charges were good enough that I thought why not, when the contract expires at the end of the season I can race that car whilst rebuilding scruffy dog into a presentable fast car.

As Robbie Burns said “the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft a-glay” has been a recurrent theme in my life, with ideas taking a bizarre twist but in some cases working out in the end and so it was with the 2 x R400 cars. The banker decided that the car was down on power and wanted the engine rebuilt to which I made a small contribution and he paid the rest of it, at the next meeting at Spa there was a serious chassis problem which showed up on the way to scrutineering that Team Parker had not noticed, no surprises there, but it could have been very serious indeed had it failed in the race and the banker then didn’t want to race the car ever again. Arch Motors built all Caterham chassis and they had been asked to build some “lightweight” ones so the repair was carried out at no cost and I ended up with a now pretty expensive car with a freshly rebuilt engine, I might as well race it then.

In 2006 I took my first race win at Oulton Park with it and went on to a number of other race wins at circuits in the North West of the UK. Scruffy dog was rebuilt and my younger son started to race that, it took him about a year to get out of FWD rally driving mode he had been used to for the previous 5 years and as he started to get the hang of racing being a quite different driving style he was getting closer and closer. I thought, this is going to end in tears as he will want to beat me and I’ll be equally determined to not let him so, as a caring father, I had to sell my race winning R400 in 2008 to fund the purchase of a Caterham CSR, 260bhp, 6 speed sequential g/box, inboard suspension etc. etc. and around the same weight, now we were talking serious power to weight ratios and the racing and winning continued.

As one of the constants in life is change around 2014 we made the decision to move to NZ to join our elder son who had moved here in 2006 and by then we had 2 grandsons here, after a lengthy process we arrived at the end of October 2015 bringing a 1965 Austin Healey 3000 BJ8 MkIII and a Caterham R400, originally known as scruffy dog. The Healey had done duty on two trips to the Italian Dolomites and driven over many of the classic rally route passes used when Healeys were the cars to have and driven by some of the great names in rallying of the 1950s and 60s. The Healey had also done a number of Scottish tours and heaps of local events and runs.

I consider myself to have been very lucky to have had the right car at the right time and some very good friends around me to give their input when it has been needed which has allowed me to have the motoring memories and racing experiences that I have enjoyed over the years. A plan and a bit of vision? Not really, it all just seemed to be a series of happy coincidences, a lot of hard work and at some points sheer bloody mindedness that allowed it all to happen, I just wish that in all the frenzy of doing it I had kept better records of the events, vehicles, dates and results but the next event was usually looming and the car preparation always took priority along with running and growing a business and providing for a family. My 2 sons are petrol heads as well and their help with the car prep side of things as they grew old enough was great as it provided a common bond until they started throwing me out of the shed so I wasn’t in their way. Finally my thanks to my wife Jean who has given her support to all of this through the years.

Remember that “more addictive” line, well it's not quite the end of the tale as one of the first things I bought on arriving in NZ was a race car, I’m afraid to say that it was a works built Honda Integra DC5 but I don’t get on very well with front wheel drive so sold it to someone else and I’ve had to buy something older and rear wheel drive, a Chevron B32 F5000 car was available and my arm was twisted by a guy called Tony Roberts and my elder son which I have now had for 3 seasons, running a bit midfield as I have been unable to find the switch that allows me to set the car up to handle as I would like it to. We did take it to Laguna Seca for the Monterey Historic Reunion event last year, 2023, where we managed a couple of 4th place finishes, quite satisfactory particularly when we were awarded at the end of the meeting with the Team Spirit award out of over 400 entrants.

That’s all folks.

Calendar of Up and Coming Events

October 2024 November 2024 Future Events

2nd October Mid Week Run & Committee Meeting

6th November

Mid Week Run & Committee Meeting 12th - 16th February 2025 Art Deco Festival

9th October Club Night

9th November Ladies Lunch

13th October Sunday Club Run

13th November Club Night

18th-21st October Safari Run Weekend 17th November Sunday Club Run

25th October

Art Deco Picnic at A&P Show

22nd, 23rd and 24th November 65th Anniversary of the HBVCC

Notice Board

Welcome to the Club!

Ian Carroll - 1956 Mark 1 Zephyr 6 sedan

Alistair Dray 1928 Alvis Tourer

Spares News - October 2024

Hi All

Firstly I would like to acknowledge the amount of work Derek has put into our scrap, so while he is making cups of tea over the last few months, he has been sorting out our stainless steel, ally & copper wire, the box of copper wire is hardly liftable so should get a good result when we take it to scrap merchant next.

We have had lots of stock come in, Phil Johnson new brake rubber hoses for Vauxhall. Graham Newrick for Tractor taillights. Doug Dickson donated an engine stand one week which was sold that week, the following week he brought in a petrol generator which was also sold before the day was out. Brian Taylor for dropping in a box of trafficators. Steve Donovan for a box of rubber parts & bulb & bulb holders.

So if you have any 'junk' bring it along as we can always do with it. and it keeps our sales going.

Until next time

Cheers John Durry

CLUB SPARE PARTS CORNER

For any enquiries phone:

Brian Taylor on 027 443 6009 or John Durry 022 676 9401

ClassifiedsFor Sale/Wanted

For Sale:

Clothing Tape: Mend your furs in time for winter Art Deco Festival 2025.

$4 per metre.

Phone: Carolyn on 06 844 3323 or Email: carolynasian-seed.co.nz

ForSale

Time for some funnies.....!

Amanwaswalkingdownthestreetwhenhewasaccostedby aparticularlydirtyandshabbylookinghomelessmanwho askedhimforacoupleofdollarsfordinner.Themantook outhiswallet,extracted$10andasked,"IfIgiveyouthis money,willyoubuysomebeerwithitinsteadofdinner?"

"No,Ihadtostopdrinkingyearsago",thehomelessman said."Willyouspendthisonoldcarpartsinsteadoffood?" themanasked."Areyounuts!"repliedthehomelessman,"I haven'thadanoldcarin20years"."Well"saidtheman, "I'mnotgoingtogiveyoumoney.Instead,I'mgoingtotake youhomeforashowerandaterrificdinnercookedbymy wife."Thehomelessmanwasastounded."Won'tyourwifebe furiouswithyoufordoingthat?"Themanreplied"that'sok. It'simportantforhertoseewhathappenstoamanafterhe hasgivenupdrinkingandrestoringoldcars".

A car repair shop ran a help-wanted ad in the local paper. One candidate came in for an interview. They asked him all the usual questions, but the Service Manager wanted someone who REALLY knew cars. So he asked the young man to wear a blind fold. Then he had other mechanics start the engines of various cars in the shop, expecting the candidate to name each car by sound alone. First car, he answered "Chevrolet." (Correct). Next car, he said "Pontiac," (again correct). Next car, he said, "Studebaker," and was right again. Just then, someone came out of the nearby Men's Room, flushing the toilet on his way out. The job candidate hollered, "FORD!" so the service manager hired him on the spot!

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