Local Weekender Issue 043 Marina Baixa by IMPACT GROUP

Marina Baixa 4th May Issue 43

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BENIDORM

Benidorm creator Derren Litten confirms show will end for good

After eleven years and ten series, last wednesday’s episode of the hit ITV comedy, ‘Benidorm’, the season ten finale, will be the last one ever. Series creator, Derren Litten, announced the news,

by Andy Mansall

via his twitter page earlier this week, before the final show aired. “Crazy to think wednesday will be the last episode of Benidorm!” Continued Page 2...

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“That’s all Folks!” Benidorm says goodbye

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“I created the series over 11 years ago, wrote it, guest starred in it and ended up directing it. It’s difficult to see what else there is to do. Thanks for watching Muchas Gracias”. Although, viewing figures for the latest season remained healthy, TV bosses made the decision to pull the plug on Benidorm, which had become the longest running comedy programme in the broadcaster’s history, while it was still on top. The hugely popular comedy, began life in 2007, as a thirty minute show, airing after News at Ten, but following the success of it’s first two series, Derren was asked to extend the episodes to an hour so the series could be shown at peak time. Benidorm, with it’s cast of larger than life characters such as the Garvey family, Madge,

by Andy Mansall

Mateo, Donald and Jacqueline and ‘The Oracle’, quickly established itself as a mainstay of ITV programming. Stars such as Cilla Black, Joan Collins, Shane Ritchie and Sheridan Smith lined up to make guest appearances alongside established cast members, Jake Canuso, Tony Maudsley, Sherrie Hewson Johnny Vegas and Tim Healy. However, the biggest star of all was undoubtedly Benidorm itself, always sunny and full of life, love and laughter. We caught up with Derren on a flying visit to the home he retains in the area, last week, a few days before news of the shows cancellation broke. He told us if the show was to be axed, the decision would not be unexpected, but said it was strange to be in the town at this time of year and not

working. “It feels kind of wierd not be hard at work filming this time, because as you know, we always came on location to Benidorm from March to June every year”, he said. Using locations such as the Sol Pelicanos Hotel as the Solana Resort and Morgan Tavern, where the Neptune’s Bar evening scenes were shot at 7am when the pub was closed to the public, the series, made by Tiger Aspect Productions, also employed many locals as extras and behind the scenes crew. “The Benidorm cast and crew have become like a second family to me and I feel a real responsibility to the people who worked for us regularly over the years”, said the writer, revealing his sadness at the impending break up However, this is not

the end of the road for ‘Benidorm’, as Derren has written a theatre show, based on the TV programme, which will premiere at the Theatre Royal Newcastle in September, before embarking on a countrywide tour over the winter, including a month in Birmingham during December. “This is probably an opportune time to finish the TV show”, he said “ITV were aware we wouldn’t be able to film this year and probably next, because of the cast’s theatre commitments”. He expressed his excitement at the forthcoming tour and confirmed extra dates had been added because of ticket demand, extending performances well into next spring. When asked whether there is a possibility Benidorm could return to our TV screens in the future, he smiled and with a twinkle in his eye said “Never say never!”. Details of the Benidorm theatre tour can be found at www.benidormonstage.com

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Two arrested All hands to the pumps for 34k euro armed robbery wounds, were able to ascertain the assailants were in their 30’s, but otherwise unidentifiable as they wore hooded headgear. However, after visiting the crime scene, they were able to recover the firearm, which although a replica, bore a very close resemblance to a real handgun. The officers also spoke to neighbours of the victim, who described a suspicious car which had been seen loitering in the area throughout the day of the robbery. Following a four month investigation, in which they traced the woman’s regular journeys, the officers swooped to arrest a 43 year old Romanian, who owned the alleged getaway vehicle, which they located in Benidorm. Inside the car, they discovered several suspicious items, including hooded headwear, similar to those worn by the thieves.

The Weekender (Registered Trademark Pending) Editor-In-Cheif Marco Baiardo - Y1153737-W. Deposito Legal - A375-2017. C/Castellion 5 Benidorm, 03500. The Weekender Newspaper, its publishers, members of staff and its agents do not accept responsibility for claims by advertisers nor can it be held responsible for any errors in advertisements which are reproduced from poor artwork, low quality electronic data or inadequate instructions for text or other layout features. Further no responsibility is accepted for any loss or damage caused by an error, inaccuracy or non-appearance of any advertisement, although all advertisements produced are checked prior to insertion.

Eight years for cruel attack A man has been sentenced to eight years in jail after being found guilty of raping a homeless woman in an Alicante park. The incident happened on Avenida Doctor Jiminez Diaz and the court heard how the defendant hit, threatened and stripped the woman and carried out the assault wrapped in a blanket. He covered her mouth and applied pressure

by Andy Mansell

to the victim’s throat but she managed to get the attention of a group of three passers-by. They approached the scene and the man fled, but bravely two of them chased and caught the attacker while the third stayed with the victim. The police were called while the aggressor was restrained

and he was then arrested. He denied the attack but the testimony of the victim and the three witnesses led to him being charged and the subsequent guilty verdict last week. While on the stand the defendant had said that the woman he raped had fabricated the entire story as he refused to give her money, a statement the court dismissed as a complete falsehood.

Talking map goes live BENIDORM has become one of the first cities in Europe to have tourist maps that are designed for blind visitors. Produced in association with the local Lions Club and with the help of blind

resident Quico Saval, the map is produced in braille, allowing the unsighted and vision impaired to use it. It also has a QR code that gives access to a voice map in six languages, Spanish, English, German,

French, Portuguese and Italian. The new map and technology was unveiled by Mayor Toni Perez last week and demonstrated by Quico. It is part of Benidorm’s overall plan to make the

resort one of the most handicap friendly in Europe. An initial print run of 500 maps have been produced; these will be available at the El Torrejo Tourist Office and some municipal buildings.

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Guardia Civil officers from Altea have swooped to arrest two Romanian men suspected of armed robbery on an Anglo British woman in Polop de La Marina last January. The assault occurred on a saturday afternoon, when the 36 year old victim arrived at her Polop home, following a day working in her Benidorm retail store. The police statement, issued at the time, reported that, after entering the gates of her urbanisation, the woman left her car to open the garage door. At this point she was approached by two hooded men, one of whom held a handgun. According to the victim’s testimony, she was able to snatch the gun from the assailant’s hand and throw it to the ground, which “Only managed to anger the robbers even more”. The two men forced the woman back into her car and “beat her hard”, before fleeing with a bag, which contained around 27,000 pounds in sterling notes and 3,000 in euros. Guardia officers from Altea, who interviewed the victim following her transfer to the Marina Baixa Hospital in Villajoyosa for treatment to her

FIREFIGHTING helicopters had to be called out to help the ground team tackling a large blaze at Cami de la Lloma in Altea last week. It is unclear what caused the fire which soon spread in the breezy, dry conditions fuelled by dry canes and other foliage on the ground. As well as the air resources, several vehicles from the Marina Baixa, Xixona and Benissa fire stations attended the scene and eventually managed to control the blaze. One engine and crew stayed behind for a period after as there was judged to be a risk of the fire reigniting. About a hectare of land and trees were destroyed in the incident.

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The Fiesta de la Creu recalls the origins of Benidorm

Visitors and Benidorm residents who use the resort’s popular rental bicycles to make their way around the busy streets, have been left baffled for the last few weeks, as the bikes have all disappeared. Stands that normally house the bikes, which can be rented on hourly, daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly contracts have remained empty since the beginning of April, whilst the company which holds the concession, ‘Bicidorm’ reviews it’s service. Councillors at Benidorm city hall, which over recent years has made strident efforts towards sustainable, pollution free transportation, are equally unclear as to how long the service is likely to be suspended.

The city’s department of mobility was informed beforehand about the withdrawal of the service at the beginning of April, whilst a revision was carried out, but were assured by Bicidorm that the rental bikes would be back in operation by April 20th. However, the bike stands have remained empty throughout last weekend’s busy Mayday bank holiday, frustrating both regular tourists and residents alike. Bicidorm have released a statement on their website and in an email to contract holders explaining that the suspension would be extended for a further few weeks as a complete review was required, with an aim of providing a more ambitious service in the future. To this end, they have

promised that two hundred new bikes are on order, with replacement stands also expected as part of their new service. The concessionaire has also promised to refund money to pre-paid contract holders, although requests must be made in writing. Meanwhile the department of mobility have confirmed that when the contract for the city bikes concession ends in October, the service will be put out to tender, which means Bicidorm, after spending a large quantity of money on an upgrade, will not be guaranteed a future tenure. So, all this means, if you are looking to ‘get on your bike’ in Benidorm, you will have to wait a few weeks longer.

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Where have all the Benidorm bikes gone? Visitors and Benidorm residents who use the resort’s popular rental bicycles to make their way around the busy streets, have been left baffled for the last few weeks, as the bikes have all disappeared. Stands that normally house the bikes, which can be rented on hourly, daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly contracts have remained empty since the beginning of April, whilst the company which holds the concession, ‘Bicidorm’ reviews it’s service. Councillors at Benidorm city hall, which over recent years has made strident efforts towards sustainable, pollution free transportation, are equally unclear as to how long the service is likely to be suspended.

Puig Campana climbers rescued by helicopter Two mountaineers, trapped on a mountainside in a sudden torrential rainstorm last monday evening, were rescued by helicopter. The climbers were traversing the via entornes section of the iconic Puig Campana mountain, close to the village of Finestrat, when an unpredicted storm hit the mountain, leaving them in a precarious position, unable to advance or retreat. Surprised by the ferocity of the downpour, the two trapped

men, aged 48 and 31. from Castilla La Mancha, phoned for assistance. Emergency s e r v i c e s scrambled a rescue helicopter to the scene, which airlifted the Although, soaked to the skin, stranded climbers from their precarious position, to the relieved climbers were unhurt a position of safety at Fonts del and medical assistance was not required. Moli, in Finestrat.

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“No Means No (apparently!)” Several mothers including myself who send our kids to a local Spanish primary school have been a bit perturbed,to say the least, by the incorporation of the “No Means No” into the recent school curriculum. For those of you who doń t know what the slogan “No Means No” means it has originated from many anti-rape campaigns the world over but has escalated here in Spain recently when judges ruled recently that an 18-year old girl who had been gang-raped at a Pamplona bull-running festival a few years ago had been “submissive”. The five in their 20s that had raped her (after knowing her for 7 minutes) contested that they construed her “wailing” as enjoyment. In fact she had been educated to not kick up a fussand she made a life-savingdecision that it she had fought back too hard then she would have wound up dead. She argued in court that her wails were the least that she could emanate given that she was being abused from every orifice; her vagina, her anus and her mouth. I personally am pretty sure that an 18-year-old would not enjoy any element of that kind of group sex, and I am pretty sure that a judge worth his salt should have come to that conclusion. The judge didń t, and the five have got off far more lightly than the Spanish wanted. Spanish women and men have been protesting about this crime and the inappropriately light prison sentence using the spoken sentence “No Means No”. Going back to how this heavy subject matter has creeped into our PRIMARY SCHOOLS one of my friends says “As a grown-up I object to this slogan being used in primary schools. I am pretty shocked by what happened to a young girl in Pamplona” says a mother. “But as a protective mother of children aged 11 and under, I really doń t want

them to be involved in any slogan connected to mass demonstrations about rape. I want them to know nothing about any volatile behavior in a machismo environment. I protect my under eleven year olds from watching the news. It should be MY choice when they learn about the truly evil people in the world, not the choice of teachers.” And I agree with this mum. I doń t let my 8-year old watch the news either.Once in a while I have showed her that Syrian children are desperate for food and shelter and African kids too. I have decided on my own that she needs to know that she is lucky. Going back to the poor 18-yearold that was raped. She was interrogated many times, and the boys were not. Allegedly. How is that fair? Her story against five?? The statistics of reporting rape

hundred percent. There should be “legally policed” welcome centres, not police stations, where women can go, and be dealt with by women only, when they have been raped or sexually abused. It s a bitter sweet thing for me ´ though, the word “no” in certain contexts. As I staggered out of the hospital in Ibiza where I had taken two days to give birth to my little baby, my Mum (she was quite a character) asked me a question. “Fiona” she demanded my attention, as always “Yes, Mum? What is it?” I asked. “Whó s the boss?” I was in a lot of pain. “Dunno, Mummy, who is the boss, Mummy?” She nailed me with an answer and I will never forget it. “You are the boss of her” she told me. “Never take “no” from her” she advised me. My mother was an awesome teacher of primary school kids and she taught

by Fiona Jennison - fiona@weekender.news

off” for holding off on giving out a drug largely known as Nolotil which is essentially Metamizole but confusingly sold under many different brand names in different countries. In 2018 an investigation in Spain looked into Nolotil after the tragic deaths of several British people in Spain a possible cause could be a side effect that can cause a granulocytosis, which is an incredibly dangerous lowering of white blood cells. Metamizole is banned in many countries.

Us Whities Cań t Handle It?

from women have been shocking over the years. Ok, we have a new and massive movement from Hollywood, encouraging us to come forward. But what do the police do to make this easier? The last thing I would want to do if I had been raped (and I was sexually abused in my 20s by a man twice my age) was go to the police. This needs to change. One

many kids with disabilities with incredible results.

No To Nolotil!! Members on my one of my local Facebook groups (Javea Connect) were expressing their dismay today that our local hospital the Denia Hospital has been “told

The drug seems to adversely mostly affect people of fair skin, from the likes of the UK, Ireland and Scandinavia, by poisoning bone marrow and destroying their white blood cells yet is handed out by doctors and dentists in Spain for pain such as toothaches, headaches, neuralgia, myositis, and high fever.

It´s Not About Pale Skin, Silly Me!

It is about genetics. Pharma cogenetic research in the past few decades has uncovered significant differences among racial and ethnic groups in the metabolism, clinical effectiveness, and sideeffect profiles of many clinically important drugs. Say the drug money makers “These differences must be taken into account in the design of cost management policies such as formulary implementation, therapeutic substitution and stepcare protocols” I doń t have all year to investigate this but for now I would say NO to Nolotil. Be safe.

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Grant of 200k euros to help vulnerable unemployed in Alfaz Long term unemployed and jobless from vulnerable social groups in Alfas del Pi received a boost this week, with the provision of a 200,000 euro grant from the Valencian regional government. The funds will help the town hall to continue it’s Escoles d’Ocupacio et Formem unemployment programme, which provides work and training for special needs and vulnerable people, for the next year. Alfas mayor Vicente Arques announced news of the grant, which is funded via servef, jointly through the European Union, earlier this week. “It is a mixed programme of training and employment”, said the mayor. “So from day one, the people are hired and receive an assignment, while they learn a trade, which provides them with the tools for future work

A century of pictures

by Andy Mansall

and helps integrate them socially”. The town hall previously used a grant of just under 65,000 euros to employ five men and five women on a four month horticultural training scheme, in which they gained level 1 certification. These employees receive a yearly salary, which is the equivalent of the national minimum wage and with the help of the new funding will gain further experience and training while working towards obtaining a level 2 grade in horticulture, by helping on a regeneration project at the Escandinavia Park, a popular leisure area in Alfas. Alfas town hall have helped more than 600 jobless gain employment through their various work initiative schemes during the last three years.

A new exhibition of photos of Benidorm’s Serra Gelada has been opened in Hort de Colon. The most striking thing about the pictures, which date back as far as the late 19th century, is how isolated the scant housing was in what are now very built up areas such

as the Rincon de Loix. Many of the pictures were taken at the start of the last century by Luis de Caceres, a local police captain. His descendants passed the collection on to Benidorm City Council where it forms part of the Historical Heritage Collection.

Geyser Erupts The rupture of a pipe in Benidorm caused a geyser up to 6 meters high in the avenue of Los Almendros The “source” rises up to six meters and has

caused some traffic problems while the technicians are busy cutting off the supply. The citizens stop to see this improvised artificial spectacle.

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Your posture directly affects Improved posture can your health lead to better well-beingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Posture is the position in which we hold our bodies while standing, sitting or lying down. When your posture is bad it can increase pressure on your spine, this can lead to tension soreness, headaches, back pain and fatigue. Postural imbalance also compresses your internal organs, reducing their efficiency and normal functions. Fatigue is one of the most common symptoms of poor posture. It takes a lot of energy to hold the body in any awkward position, and, in turn, alters our

breathing capacity which can be diminished by up to 30% Good posture is the correct alignment of body parts supported by the right amount of muscle tension against gravity A good postural position permits you to breathe better, and as a result reduces fatigue and minimises other sideeffects associated with bad posture. Proper posture keeps muscles, ligaments, bones and internal organs in their natural position. This reduces wear and tear of joints and relieves

stress, improving health and enhancing your appearance. Good posture can also increase self-confidence with one study revealing that people adopting good posture not only display greater confidence but have stronger belief in their own abilities than those with poor posture ( Correcting bad posture does take discipline, but there is no doubt that the benefits are worth the effort. Find out What Posture you are and how it can be improved by visiting Kiro Nilssons center

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Pins and Needles We have all experienced pins and needles, usually in the hands, arms, legs and feet. Pins and needles manifest as a tingling, prickling or numbing sensation. It is not painful. Pins and needles is usually temporary, but can sometimes be long lasting (chronic).

Temporary pins and needles Temporary pins and needles happens when pressure is applied to a part of the body cutting off the blood supply to the nerves. This in turn prevents the nerves from sending important signals to the brain. This is common during the night when you may ‘lie funny’ in bed. It can also be caused by wearing tight shoes or socks. The pins and needles subside once pressure is taken off the affected area.

cases, a brain tumour • exposure to toxic substances – such as lead or radiation • certain types of medication – such as HIV medication, medication to prevent seizures (anticonvulsants), or some antibiotics • malnutrition where the body lacks important nutrients because of a poor diet • nerve damage caused by infection, injury or overuse – for example, a condition known as hand-arm vibration syndrome may be the result of regularly using vibrating tools • alcohol misuse • cervical spondylosis – the bones and tissues of the spine can wear down over time, leading to trapped nerves and occasionally pins and needles

Other common reasons for temporary pins and needles include: • Raynaud’s disease – which affects the blood supply to certain areas of the body, such as the fingers and toes, and is usually triggered by cold temperatures or sometimes anxiety or stress • h y p e r v e n t i l a t i n g When to see your GP (breathing too quickly) Most cases of pins and needles are temporary and the sensation disappears after the pressure is taken off the Chronic (long affected area. always consult your family doctor if you lasting) pins and However, constantly have pins and needles or if it keeps recurring needles as it may be a sign of a more serious underlying health Sometimes, pins and needles condition. can occur over a long period of time. It can be a sign Treatment of a wide range of health Treatment for chronic pins and needles depends on the conditions, including: cause. For example, if it’s caused by diabetes, treatment will focus on controlling blood glucose levels, if it is a • diabetes mechanical problem the patient will be referred to an • vitamin B12 deficiency osteopath, if the cause is a vitamin B12 deficiency this • a compressed ulnar can be easily corrected etc. The most important thing nerve is for a Family Doctor to determine the cause then treat • carpal tunnel accordingly. syndrome • a condition that damages the nervous system This Article was supplied by the Family Medical such as a stroke, multiple Centre, Albir sclerosis or in extremely rare

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018

Property

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NOTARIES: Home sales up 2.7% in February, and house prices stable Home sales were up 2.7% to 39,945 in February, and house prices were unchanged over 12 months at 1,349 €/m2, show the latest figures in the monthly housing market report from the Spanish Notaries’ Association. Seasonally adjusted, the increase in home sales was just 1.3% in February. Flat sales were up 6.2% (7.7% excluding VPO subsidised housing), new flat sales up just 2.4%, and singlefamily home sales down 11.6%. Flat prices increased by 1.1% compared to the same month last year,

whilst single-family homes declined 2.6%, leaving the average cost of housing unchanged in a year. New mortgage lending for residential purchases was up 13% and the average loan value was €129,922, up 0.1% in a year. As the following charts illustrate, homes sales have steadily increased over the last five years, and are now above the level of 2009, but still 30% lower than 2007, whilst house prices have also been recovering gradually over the same period, but are also still down by around 30% peakto-present.

www.spanishpropertyinsight.com

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BUCKET LIST HORROR

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“The zip wire company initially denied anything to do with the “missing girl””

their bums and doing something on their bucket lists, putting their faith in organisers of dangerous activities. Hoping to go home safe with a story to tell.

a website that allowed me to work from home, teaching Japanese people English, using Skype. Technically it was a bit tricky for me to get started and this old dog had to rope in a couple of younger friends to help me download bits and bogs and navigate it all. The paltry pay I accepted as being low, knowing that I didn´t have to prepare classes as the lesson materials instantly pop up on your screen and that I would spend no time or money driving anywhere. All went well for a few months after

by Fiona Jennison

There was a horrifying story in this paper the other week about a young Valencian backpacker losing her life in January at the hands of a company running a zip wire in Perú. The zip wire company initially denied anything to do with the “missing girl” but CCTV footage eventually pressured them in to admitting that Nathaly had died on the ride and that they had dumped her body in a river (and smashed her phone with a stone when it rang). After Nathaly´s death the zip wire continued operating, despite having been ordered to close down by the authorities pending investigation, and tragically two more tourists died on the wire on the 3rd April. The sheer evil irresponsibility and disrespect for life just beggars belief doesn´t it? The next time you watch a film with characters who you think are too evil to be true think of these guys. Imagine the meeting in the zip line office (presumably bar) the day after her death. “Right, so we´ve lost a girl. Might happen again, I guess. The pigs say we should close down. Who votes we stay open for a laugh?” “Well, how else ae we going to pay for our tequila and cocaine, boss?!” I hope they go away for a very, very long time and to a spectacularly horrible prison. Often accidents that happen far away from native countries mean the victim´s families find it too hard to sue and navigate the foreign systems that investigate. Fingers crossed for Nathaly´s family that at least have Spanish language on their side. Zip lines are actually statistically very dangerous (3,600 injuries in one recent year just in the States) with a significant problem being that around the world individual zip lines are simply not inspected, despite ACCT rules. Personally I find it particularly sad to hear of tragic endings when people have been doing brave and exciting things. Awful to realise that these people were getting off

Speaking of Bucket Lists A couple of years ago the Daily Mail did a survey of 2,000 Brits and found that the average person has 16 important dreams that they want to achieve in life. It makes smug reading for those of is living in the Costa Blanca! Number 1 being “have a holiday home abroad” and number 2 being rather surprisingly “learn a new language” (oops, still need to do that one, I hear many of you say!) Numbers 3 predictably is an exotic “holiday in the Maldives”, 4 is a more down-to-earth “buy a house” and number 5 (I have to confess my number one) is “swim with dolphins”. Interestingly ”write a novel” comes quite far down the line at 19, “change career” a lowly 21, and the saddest entry “own a Mulberry handbag” features at 36. I guess I am thinking of death and bucket lists because I am feeling a bit morbidlymortal given that I turn 50 next week. I am certainly not filled with regret about my adult life not having been well spent so far, but I´m not happy about that 5 and that 0 together.

Life’s Too Short As an experienced TEFL qualified language teacher I recently signed up for

the exhausting process of registering. My students were lovely; incredibly polite, educated, very fond of talking about hot springs and tennis and trips to Europe. The students sometimes chose “daily news” to discuss so things got interesting quite often. (Digression they eat surprisingly little sushi I learned, to my surprise, as this would be my main reason for living in Japan.) I

‘Cos life is short…. whatever age you are.’

bonded in a big way with a 13-year old girl in Korea who booked me all the time. I accumulated numerous 5-star reviews as a teacher on the website. On Friday however, I had a technical problem with Skype, through no fault of my own. This is what the company that I work for had to say. “If the tutor was not able to conduct the class for a total of 20 minutes (accumulated) due to technical problem (Skype, audio, video, PC), power outage and internet connection problem on the teacher’s end OS will cancel the lesson and issue a transfer ticket to the student” This is actually worse than it sounds. A “cancelled” class means that the company not only do not pay you but PENALISE you. They actually DEDUCT money from your previous or future earnings for having technical problems. Is it just me, or is that not just plain disgraceful? I´m (definitely) too old for this rubbish and life is too short to work for people like this. I had been looking forward to not leaving the house in August and just teaching online next to my fan, but I guess I´ll try and crack on with that novel, or find a worthier website. I am kind of proud to be unemployable aged 50! Right, I´m off to plan a party and a bucket list to do before I´m 60. Cos life is short….whatever age you are.

FRIDAY

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018

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07:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets War 07:30 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 08:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 09:00 Antiques Roadshow Black Country Living Museum 10:00 BBC Newsroom Live: Election... 11:00 Snooker: World Championship 13:00 Election 2018 14:00 Snooker: World Championship 16:00 Election 2018 17:30 Snooker: World Championship 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Britain in Bloom 20:00 Snooker: World Championship 22:00 Syria: The World’s War 23:00 Episodes 23:30 Newsnight 24:05 Front Row Late 24:35 World Championship Snooker... 01:25 Easy Money Film

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 New: The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV News London 15:00 New: Judge Rinder Paul v Jim 16:00 New: Tenable 17:00 New: Tipping Point 18:00 New: The Chase 19:00 ITV News London 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Love Your Garden Hari Budha Magar, Canterbury 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 New: Lethal Weapon An Inconvenient Ruth 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 ITV News London 23:45 The Keith & Paddy Picture... 24:10 Through the

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:35 Frasier 11:05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell 12:00 Undercover Boss USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Coast vs Country 14:05 Posh Pawnbrokers 15:10 Countdown 16:00 A Place in the Sun: 17:00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Buy It Now 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 21:00 Our Wildest Dreams 22:00 Gogglebox 23:00 Friday Night Dinner The Other Jackie 23:30 High & Dry The Island 24:05 First Dates

07:00 MILKSHAKE 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 13:10 5 News At Lunchtime 13:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 14:10 Access 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:20 NCIS Secrets 16:15 Presumed Dead In Paradise Film 18:00 5 News At 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 New: The Gadget Show 21:00 New: Britain’s Great Cathedrals... 22:00 New: Portillo’s Hidden History... 23:00 Inside Strangeways 24:05 Meet Mick Philpott: Psychopath 01:00 Supercasino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed

08:10 Top Gear 09:10 American Pickers 10:00 Storage Hunters 10:30 Storage Hunters 11:00 American Pickers 12:00 American Pickers 13:00 American Pickers 14:00 Top Gear 15:00 Top Gear 16:00 Sin City Motors 17:00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull... 18:00 Top Gear 19:00 Room 101 19:40 Would I Lie to You? 20:20 Would I Lie to You? The Unseen Bits 21:00 New: Into the Fire 22:00 Red Dwarf IV 22:40 Red Dwarf IV DNA 23:20 Red Dwarf IV 24:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 01:00 QI Domesticity 01:40 Would I Lie to You? 02:20 Mock the Week 03:00 QI Domesticity 03:40 Would I Lie to You?

07:00 The British Tale of Two Cities 08:00 Storm City 09:00 Fish Town 10:00 The West Wing 11:00 The West Wing 12:00 House 13:00 House 14:00 Without A Trace 15:00 Blue Bloods 16:00 The West Wing 17:00 The West Wing 18:00 House 19:00 House Parents 20:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Blood Lust 21:00 Blue Bloods 22:00 Game Of Thrones High Sparrow 23:10 Game Of Thrones Sons of the Harpy 24:10 Game Of Thrones Kill the Boy 01:15 The Sopranos The Telltale Moozadell 02:25 The Sopranos To Save Us All From Satan’s Power 03:25 House Of Lies One Eighty

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure Thai Beaches 13:00 Football Focus 14:00 BBC News 14:15 Bargain Hunt Ardingly 15:15 Snooker: World Championship 17:10 BBC News 17:20 BBC London News 17:30 Final Score 18:10 Women’s FA Cup Final: Arsenal v... 20:40 Pointless Celebrities 21:30 Who Dares Wins 22:15 Casualty 23:05 BBC News 23:25 Match of the Day 24:45 The Button 01:15 When in Rome Film 02:40 Weather for the Week Ahead 02:45 BBC News

05:45 This Is BBC Two 07:15 David Attenborough’s Natural... 07:40 Naomi’s Nightmares of Nature 08:10 The Pets Factor 08:30 The Dengineers 09:00 Absolute Genius: Monster Builds 09:30 Beyond Bionic 10:00 Robot Wars 11:00 Snooker: World Championship 14:10 Top of the Shop with Tom Kerridge 15:10 Top of the Shop with Tom Kerridge 16:10 Love in the Countryside 17:10 Snooker: World Championship 19:00 World’s Most Extraordinary Homes USA 20:00 Dad’s Army 20:30 Snooker: World Championship 23:00 Kajaki: The True Story 24:40 Michael Palin: A Life on Screen

08:00 CHILDRENS TV 09:25 ITV News 09:30 New: Zoe Ball on Saturday 10:25 New: James Martin’s Saturday... 12:20 Invitation to a Royal Wedding 13:20 ITV Lunchtime News 14:30 This Time Next Year 14:30 ITV Racing: Live from Newmarket 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV Evening News 19:15 ITV News London 19:30 New: Ninja Warrior UK 20:30 New: Harry Hill’s Alien Fun... 21:00 New: Britain’s Got Talent 22:15 New: Who Wants To Be A... 23:20 ITV News 24:35 Sex and the City 2 Film

06:25 Fifteen to One 07:15 Motor Sport 08:10 The King of Queens 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 10:00 Frasier 11:30 The Big Bang Theory 12:55 The Simpsons 14:25 Come Dine with Me 15:25 A Place in the Sun: 16:25 A Place in the Sun: 17:30 Collection Hunters 18:35 The Secret Life of the Zoo 19:30 Channel 4 News 20:00 The Restoration Man Best Builds 21:00 Britain’s Most Historic Towns 22:00 Zoolander 2 Film (2016) 24:00 Ride Along Film (2014) 01:50 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 02:40 Hollyoaks Omnibus 04:50 Come Dine Champion of Champions

07:00 MILKSHAKE 11:40 The Gadget Show 12:30 Police Interceptors 13:25 Police Interceptors 14:25 Police Interceptors 15:25 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 16:20 The Nightmare Neighbour Next Door 17:20 Nightmare Tenants, Slum Landlords 18:20 Bad Tenants, Rogue Landlords 19:15 5 News Weekend 19:20 Rich House, Poor House: The Big... 20:20 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! 21:15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! 22:15 New: Secrets of Tutankhamun’s... 23:10 New: The Great Rameses: New... 24:10 Football On 5: Goal Rush 01:10 Supercasino 05:00 Billionaire Babies: 24 Carat Kids

09:00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads Bolivia 10:00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads Nepal 11:00 American Pickers The Big Bet 12:00 American Pickers Space Oddities 13:00 American Pickers Everything Must Go 14:00 Deadly 60 Uganda 14:30 Deadly 60 Thailand 15:00 Deadly 60 15:30 Deadly 60 Philippines Part Two 16:00 Top Gear 17:20 Top Gear: Middle East Special 19:00 Red Bull Soapbox Race: Peru 20:00 Red Dwarf IV Camille 20:40 Red Dwarf IV DNA 21:20 Red Dwarf IV Justice 22:00 Mock the Week 22:40 Mock the Week 23:20 Mock the Week 24:00 Tim Vine: The Joke-

07:00 Urban Secrets 08:00 Urban Secrets 09:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A Little Murder 10:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:00 Cold Case 15:00 Cold Case 16:00 Cold Case 17:00 Without A Trace 18:00 Without A Trace 19:00 Without A Trace 20:00 Without A Trace 21:00 Without A Trace 22:00 New: Blue Bloods 23:00 Westworld 24:10 The Sopranos 01:20 The Sopranos 02:30 House Of Lies 03:05 Togetherness 03:40 Togetherness 04:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Snuff 05:10 Storm City

07:05 Coast Devon and Cornwall 07:35 Glorious Gardens from Above 08:20 Life in a Cottage Garden with... 08:50 Countryfile Cornwall 09:45 The Beechgrove Garden 10:15 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11:45 Spring Kitchen with Tom Kerridge 12:30 Lorraine Pascale: How to Be a... 13:00 MOTD2 Extra 13:30 Equestrian: Badminton Horse Trials 15:00 Snooker: World Championship 18:30 Equestrian: Badminton Horse... 19:00 Athletics: Diamond League Doha... 20:00 Snooker: World Championship 24:00 Famalam 24:20 Live at the Apollo

07:00 CHILDRENS TV 09:25 ITV News 09:30 New: Zoe Ball on Sunday 10:25 Love Your Garden Hari Budha Magar, Canterbury 11:00 Peston on Sunday 12:00 Britain’s Got Talent 13:15 Britain’s Got More Talent 14:15 ITV Lunchtime News 14:30 ITV Racing: Live from Newmarket 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase: Celebrity Special 19:00 Harry Hill’s Alien Fun Capsule 19:30 ITV Evening News 19:45 ITV News London 20:00 New: Little Big Shots 21:00 New: The Durrells 22:00 New: Who Wants To Be A... 23:05 ITV News 23:20 Peston on Sunday 24:20 The Royal Wives of Windsor A Royal Engagement

06:40 Steph and Dom’s One Star to... 07:10 Mobil 1 The Grid 07:40 Motor Sport: MSA British Rally... ...Championship 08:05 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Eat the Week with Iceland 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:30 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night... ...Feast 14:30 The Simpsons 15:30 Megamind Film (2010) 17:25 Location, Location, Location 18:30 Channel 4 News 19:00 Escape to the Chateau 20:00 The Crystal Maze 21:00 Bake Off: The Professionals 22:00 Homeland Paean to the People 23:15 Walter Presents: Tabula Rasa Spectre 24:15 Transporter 3 Film

07:00 MILKSHAKE 11:00 Great Birmingham 10K Run 2018 13:00 Make You Laugh Out Loud 14:30 Ace Ventura Pet Detective Film 15:05 Pets Make You Laugh Out Loud 16:05 Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud 2 17:05 Greatest Celebrity Wind-Ups Ever! 18:05 5 News Weekend 18:10 The Adele Story 19:30 Britain’s Favourite Abba Songs 21:00 Eurovision Greatest Moments 22:00 New: When Eurovision Goes... 24:55 Football On 5: Last Day Of The... 01:50 Criminals: Caught On Camera

08:30 Trawlermen 08:55 Trawlermen 09:25 Top Gear: India Special 11:25 Red Bull Soapbox Race: Peru 12:25 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad 13:25 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad 14:25 Top Gear 15:30 Top Gear: Middle East Special 17:10 Top Gear: India Special 19:00 Best of Red Bull Soapbox Race 20:00 Cop Car Workshop Forensics 21:00 Traffic Cops Fatal Distraction 21:30 Traffic Cops Hit and Run 22:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 23:00 Taskmaster The Old Soft, Curved Padlock. 24:00 Room 101 24:40 Room 101

07:00 Cold Case Mind Games 08:00 Cold Case Libertyville 09:00 Cold Case Stealing Home 10:00 Without A Trace The Road Home 11:00 Without A Trace Expectations 12:00 Without A Trace More Than This 13:00 Without A Trace Shattered 14:00 Without A Trace Requiem 15:00 Dinosaur 13 17:00 Remembering The Artist... 18:00 Blue Bloods Fathers and Sons 19:00 Blue Bloods Front Page News 20:00 Blue Bloods Framed 21:00 Blue Bloods Inside Jobs 22:00 New: Real Time With Bill Maher 23:10 Paterno 01:10 Silicon Valley

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

07:00 Breakfast 08:30 Match of the Day 10:00 The Andrew Marr Show 11:00 The Big Questions 12:00 Sunday Politics 13:15 Bargain Hunt Lincoln 14:00 BBC News 14:15 Escape to the Country Devon 15:15 Money for Nothing 15:45 Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh... 16:45 Points of View 17:00 Songs of Praise Young Choir of the Year 17:35 Britain’s Best Home Cook 18:35 BBC News 18:50 BBC London News 19:00 The Big Painting Challenge 20:00 Countryfile Northumberland 21:00 Antiques Roadshow Helmingham Hall 22:00 The Woman in White 23:00 BBC News

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018

MONDAY

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 12:45 The Housing Enforcers 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News at One 14:15 BBC London News 14:30 800 Words 15:15 Escape to the Country South Somerset 16:15 Garden Rescue 17:00 Flipping Profit 17:45 Flog It! Suffolk 18:45 Pointless 19:30 BBC News 19:45 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Would I Lie to You? 22:00 The Woman in White 23:00 Peter Kay’s Car Share Unscripted 23:30 BBC News at Ten 23:50 BBC London News 24:00 Have I Got a Bit More

07:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets Looking Good 07:30 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 08:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 09:00 Nature’s Weirdest Events 10:00 Tinker Bell and the Legend of... Film 11:10 Kung Fu Panda 2 Film 12:30 Jungle Animal Hospital 13:30 Plan It, Build It 14:00 Britain’s Biggest Warship 15:00 Snooker: World Championship 16:00 Great British Railway Journeys 19:30 Eggheads 20:00 Snooker: World Championship 24:00 Papillon Film 02:25 Stephen: The Murder that... 03:25 Countryfile Cornwall 04:20 Murder, Mystery and My Family

What’s

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 New: Bank Holiday Special: The... 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:45 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV News London 15:00 New: Judge Rinder 16:00 New: Tenable 17:00 New: Tipping Point 18:00 New: The Chase 19:00 Paul O’Grady For the Love of... ...Dogs 19:25 ITV News London 19:45 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 New: Give It A Year Busy Bins and Claude and Co 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 New: Who Wants To Be A... 23:00 ITV News 23:20 Notting Hill Film 01:30 Jackpot247 04:00 The Jeremy Kyle

ITV London 10:15pm Sat 5 May

NEW SERIES Jeremy Clarkson steps into Chris Tarrant’s shoes to host the first in a special week-long revival of the quiz, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year.

Channel 4 11:00pm Fri 4 May

Neighbour Jim arrives to ask them if they can look after Wilson because his sister, who’s terrified of dogs, is coming to visit. When the boys are sent out to get a takeaway, they spot Jim in

TUESDAY

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 12:45 The Housing Enforcers 13:15 Bargain Hunt Wetherby 14:00 BBC News at One 14:30 BBC London News 14:45 Doctors Eggshells 15:15 800 Words 16:00 Escape to the Country Lincolnshire 16:45 Flipping Profit 17:30 Flog It! Compilation 58 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City Bubble Wrap 22:00 The Split 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:30 BBC London News

Episode 1 of 7

Friday Night Dinner NEW SERIES. Season 5 Episode 1 of 6 The Other Jackie New series. Adam and Jonny are horrified to find their parents in a hot tub in the garden, drinking champagne.

06:45 Countdown 07:30 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:20 Step Up 4: Miami Heat Film (2012) 10:05 The Big Bang Theory 11:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11:55 The Simpsons 12:50 The Simpsons 13:20 The Princess Bride Film (1987) 15:10 Countdown 16:00 A Place in the Sun: 17:00 The £100K Drop 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Buy It Now 19:00 The Simpsons W 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Britain’s Benefits Crisis Channel 4 Dispatches 21:00 Holidays Unpacked 21:30 Tricks of the Restaurant Trade 22:00 Genderquake 23:00 Gogglebox 24:00 Kiss Me First You Can Never Go Home

07:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets The Great Outdoors 07:30 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 08:15 Flipping Profit 09:00 Top of the Shop with Tom Kerridge 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 12:30 The Week in Parliament 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 The Super League Show 14:45 Home Away from Home West Sussex & South Gloucestershire 15:30 Going Back Giving Back 16:15 Digging for Britain 17:15 Tudor Monastery Farm 18:15 Money for Nothing 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Back to the Land with Kate Humble 21:00 Top of the Shop with Tom Kerridge 22:00 Secret Agent Selection:

the restaurant alongside a woman sporting the world’s most annoying laugh. When Jim and his date turn up - soaking wet - at the house, the family has to endure a hellish dinner with them. Comedy, starring Simon Bird, Tom Rosenthal, Tamsin Greig and Paul Ritter

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 New: The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV News London 15:00 New: Judge Rinder 16:00 New: Tenable 17:00 New: Tipping Point 18:00 New: The Chase 19:00 ITV News London 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Devon and Cornwall Cops Devon and Cornwall Blues 21:00 New: This Time Next Year 22:00 New: Who Wants To Be A... 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 ITV News London 23:45 Heathrow: Britain’s Busiest... 24:15 Prince Harry’s Story: Four...

07:00 MILKSHAKE! 13:15 The Gadget Show 14:10 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 155:15 Open Season Film 16:55 Alvin & the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked Film 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Aviva Premiership Rugby Highlights 21:00 New: Police Interceptors 22:00 New: Paddington Station 24/7 23:00 New: Cocaine: Teen Dealers 24:00 Layer Cake Film 02:05 Supercasino 04:10 Portillo’s Hidden History Of Britain 05:00 Tribal Teens 05:45 House Doctor 06:10 Wildlife SOS

08:10 Trawlermen 08:35 Trawlermen 09:10 Best of Red Bull Soapbox Race 10:00 Top Gear: Polar Challenge 11:00 James May’s Cars of the People 12:00 James May’s Cars of the People 13:00 James May’s Cars of the People 14:00 Top Gear 15:00 Top Gear: Polar Challenge 16:00 James May’s Cars of the People 17:00 James May’s Cars of the People 18:00 James May’s Cars of the People 19:00 Taskmaster Fear of Failure 20:00 QI XL I-Spy 21:00 New: Cop Car Workshop Ranger 22:00 Live at the Apollo 23:00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 24:00 QI XL Location, Location, Location

07:00 The British War and Peace 08:00 The British Treasure Island 09:00 Fish Town 10:00 The West Wing 11:00 The West Wing 12:00 House 13:00 House 14:00 Without A Trace 15:00 David Attenborough’s Conquest..... 18:00 House 19:00 House 20:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 21:00 Blue Bloods Men In Black 22:00 New: Westworld 23:10 New: West:Word 23:40 New: Last Week Tonight With... 24:15 Circus: Inside The Wildest... 24:50 Real Time With Bill Maher 02:00 Westworld 03:10 Togetherness 03:45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation High And Low

new this week

Contestants sit in the famous chair to answer a maximum of 15 questions, hoping to win £1million and join original millionaires Judith Keppel, David Edwards, Robert Brydges, Pat Gibson and Ingram Wilcox. As ever, each player has three lifelines - Ask the Audience, Phone a Friend and 50:50, and there are also some new twists along the way

Egypt Unwrapped

Rameses II, who led his people to a famous victory against the Hittites, establishing a 5 May lasting peace afterwards, and was declared a living god. The programme uses CGI to recreate the vast palaces built during his reign, and questions the motive behind his deification

Season 1 Episode 1 of 4 Channel 5 11:10pm Sat New series. The Great Rameses: New Evidence Revealed New series. Series exploring the stories of the most famous people and places of ancient Egypt, beginning with pharaoh

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier Out with Dad 10:00 Frasier Something About Dr Mary 10:35 Frasier Whine Club 11:05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12:00 Undercover Boss USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Coast vs Country 14:05 Posh Pawnbrokers 15:10 Countdown 16:00 A Place in the Sun 17:00 The ?100K Drop 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Buy It Now 19:00 The Simpsons Brick Like Me 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Secret Life of 5 Year Olds 22:00 Genderquake 23:00 Genderquake: The Debate 24:00 Flight HS13: Walter

06:00 MILKSHAKE! 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! 13:10 5 News At Lunchtime 13:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 14:10 Access 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 16:15 Snatched At Birth Film 18:00 5 News At 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Moto GP Highlights 21:00 New: The Yorkshire Vet 22:00 New: British Airways: 100 Years... 23:00 Our Secret World: Circus Kids 24:05 Our Secret World: Gypsy Kids 01:05 Celeb Trolls: We’re Coming To...

08:05 James May’s Cars of the People 09:10 American Pickers 10:00 Storage Hunters 11:00 American Pickers 14:00 QI XL I-Spy 15:00 Top Gear 16:00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads Nepal 17:00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull... 18:00 Top Gear 19:00 Taskmaster Pork Is a Sausage 20:00 QI XL International 21:00 Scrappers: 21:30 Scrappers: Back in the Yard Dream Machine 22:00 Mock the Week 24:00 Taskmaster The Old Soft, Curved Padlock. 01:00 QI Astronomy 01:40 Mock the Week 02:20 Mock the Week 03:00 QI Astronomy 03:40 The Last Man on Earth Alive in Tucson

07:00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets Power & Money 08:00 The British People Power 09:00 David Attenborough’s Conquest... 12:00 House 13:00 House 14:00 Without A Trace 15:00 Blue Bloods 16:00 The West Wing 17:00 The West Wing 18:00 House Better Half 19:00 House Runaways 20:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 21:00 Blue Bloods Warriors 22:00 The Wizard Of Lies 24:30 New: Circus: Inside The Wildest... 01:05 Westworld 02:15 West:Word 02:45 The Sopranos Army Of One 04:00 High Maintenance 04:35 HAPPYish Starring Rene Descartes, Adweek And HRH

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018

07:00 Flog It! Trade Secrets The Family 07:30 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 08:15 Flipping Profit 09:00 Super Fast Falcon 10:00 Victoria Derbyshire 12:00 BBC Newsroom Live 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Perfection 14:45 Home Away from Home Bedfordshire & South Pennines 15:30 Going Back Giving Back 16:15 Digging for Britain 17:15 Tudor Monastery Farm 18:15 Money for Nothing 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Great British Railway Journeys 20:00 Back to the Land with Kate Humble 21:00 Top of the Shop with Tom Kerridge 22:00 Love in the Countryside 23:00 Detectorists 23:30 Newsnight 24:15 Syria: The World’s War 01:15 Syria: The World’s

07:00 Good Morning Britain 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 New: The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV Lunchtime News 14:55 ITV News London 15:00 New: Judge Rinder 16:00 New: Tenable 17:00 New: Tipping Point 18:00 New: The Chase 19:00 ITV News London 19:30 ITV Evening News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:30 New: Heathrow: Britain’s... 22:00 New: Who Wants To Be A... 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 ITV News London 23:45 Sunday Night at the Palladium 24:45 British Touring Car... 02:00 Jackpot247 04:00 Grantchester

07:00 MILKSHAKE 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Paddington Station 24/7 13:10 5 News At Lunchtime 13:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 14:10 Access 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 16:15 Driven Off The Rails Film 18:00 5 News At 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 New: GPs: Behind Closed Doors 22:00 New: Rich House, Poor House 23:00 Tortured By Mum and Dad?:.. 24:05 New: Criminals Caught on Camera 01:05 Diced To Death: Countdown To... 02:00 Supercasino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 Get Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink

07:00 Countdown 07:45 3rd Rock from the Sun 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:30 Frasier Hot Pursuit 11:05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12:00 Undercover Boss USA 13:00 Channel 4 News Summary 13:05 Coast vs Country 14:05 Posh Pawnbrokers 15:10 Countdown 16:00 A Place in the Sun 17:00 The ?100K Drop 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Buy It Now 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 The Secret Life of the Zoo 22:00 One Born Every Minute 23:00 First Dates 24:05 Naked Attraction 01:10 Friday Night Dinner The Other Jackie 01:35 High & Dry The Island 02:05 Genderquake 03:00 The Quiet Ones Film (2014)

U IACROSS N E P 19 17 18 1 Equipment (6)20 S P R I G D I S A B L E 4 Small edible crustacean (6) (5) E E G8 Braid R E O A 9 Pirate (7) 21 22 D E S T I10 N Y deskR(7) O U G H Reading 11 Regions (5) U E N12 Cede (9) V N E 23 24 P O T A G17 Elevators E V(5) E R D U N 19 Substitute (5-2) 21 Malady (7) 15 Exhausted American editor 22 Angry stare (5) gets out of bed (4,2) 23 or Division into opposing factions 16 Enclosure holding a male (6) female bird (6) 24(5) Exhilarated (6) 18 Odd trees planted again 20 Dish up some coarser DOWN vegetables (5) 1 Knock down (6) 2 Opportunities (7) 3 Milky coffee (5) 5 Oldest university in the USA (7) 6 Furious (5) 7 Read attentively (6) 9 General agreement (9) 13 Slices of bacon (7) 14 Glowing (7) 15 Confederates (6) 16 Denied (anag) (6) 18 Pilfer (5) 20 Divine messenger (5)

1/1

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Rip Off Britain: Food 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 A1: Britain’s Longest Road 12:45 The Housing Enforcers 13:15 Bargain Hunt Newark 14:00 BBC News at One 14:30 BBC London News 14:45 Doctors Worry Dolls 15:15 800 Words 16:00 Escape to the Country Pembrokeshire 16:45 Flipping Profit 17:30 Flog It! Croome 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News at Six 19:30 BBC London News 20:00 The One Show 21:00 Watchdog Live 22:00 Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh... 23:00 BBC News at Ten 23:30 BBC London News 23:45 Joshua v Klitschko: Return to... 24:30 Ambulance 01:30 Weather for the Week Ahead

10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:15 Paddington Station 24/7 13:10 5 News At Lunchtime 13:15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 14:10 Access 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Yorkshire Vet Casebook 16:15 Driven Off The Rails Film 18:00 5 News At 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News Tonight 20:00 Police Interceptors 21:00 New: GPs: Behind Closed Doors 22:00 New: Rich House, Poor House 23:00 Tortured By Mum and Dad?:.. 24:05 New: Criminals Caught on Camera 01:05 Diced To Death: Countdown To... 02:00 Supercasino 04:10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors 05:00 Get Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink

ACROSS 1 Oil company beginning to explore Alabama location (6) 4 Subs turning to a sub (1-5) 8 Music presenter goes to pub supplying spirits (5) 9 Carter's work - a huge construction outside Los Angeles (7) 10 Gets off in area with illuminations (7) 11 Excited by the change in the air (3,2) 12 Herbal plant, European, turning red (9) 17 Shoot small animal seen over top of ridge (5) 19 Damaged blade is put out of action (7) 21 Leaders in Dar es Salaam very small lot (7) 22 Crude ending of Victor Hugo novel (5) 23 Cook got pea soup (6) 24 Victory sign under construction in old battle (6) DOWN 1 Crazy plan to restrain military assistant (6) 2 Living without Jack, I found, is capital (7) 3 Start without a meal (5) 5 Alcoholic in bed was embarrassed (7) 6 What an actor might seek in isolation? (5) 7 Phrase translated into Nepalese (6) 9 Farm work provides married man with endless cereal (9) 13 Fixing the ropes (7) 14 Outsiders in race sure to come back (7)

WEDNESDAY

07:00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets Living & Dying 08:00 The British Revolution 09:00 The Guest Wing 10:00 The West Wing 11:00 The West Wing 12:00 House B 13:00 House 14:00 Without A Trace 15:00 Blue Bloods Warriors 16:00 The West Wing Bartlet’s Third State of the Union 17:00 The West Wing The War at Home 18:00 House Nobody’s Fault 19:00 House Chase 20:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 21:00 Blue Bloods 22:00 New: Occupied 23:00 New: High Maintenance 23:35 Silicon Valley 24:10 Barry 24:45 Billions 01:55 The Sopranos 03:10 Togetherness For The Kids 03:45 HAPPYish Starring Mr Mike, Joseph

Puzzle Solutions NO CHEATING!

G E R M A N D E R

G H L

M O B

5/3/2018

H E

N N U

B 9

H A U

L 4

CODEWORD

A G E S

U B O A 6

H T

E G

E D

A R E

L 22

S 13

A N D

T I

A C K

A 3

A R E

H 2

E R N

O T

N E

E C

10 1

E 8

S U R R E N D E R

U P

A R

S H R 5

C O R S 4

U I

R E

M P 7

5/3/2018

2. Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory. 1. The man who cannot believe in himself cannot believe in anything else. The basis of all integrity and character is whatever faith we have in our own integrity. “The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.”

T P

CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

S M

DROP QUOTES

CRYPTOGRAMS

S C H

QUICK CROSSWORD

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FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018 Chat | Travel | Celebrity | Puzzles

Relax

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Horoscopes ARIES (March 21st-April 20th)

LIBRA (Sept 24th-Oct 23rd) You might feel as if your powerful This is your day to shine, Aries. emotions are getting in the way Just make sure you don’t do so at of your dreams, Libra. Or perhaps someone else’s expense. You’re you’re finding that you’re so feeling more self-confident than wrapped up in a particular vision of usual, which may be hard for you to the future that you’re getting lost in believe. Nevertheless, you could be ARIES LIBRA your own brain. You’re losing touch so focused on your agenda that you fail to see subtle signals put out by those around you. with the present simply because you’re so focused Other people cry out for attention, too. Make sure on a nebulous idea that doesn’t even exist yet. Take a step back from your current mindset and reevaluate you shine some of your glorious light on them. the situation. TAURUS (April 21st-May 21st) You may feel like you’re being left out of the equation, Taurus. Perhaps you feel like the oddball, the fifth wheel who simply doesn’t have a place. Don’t worry. Just because you TAURUS feel that way today doesn’t mean it’s your destiny. If you don’t like your course, change your position. If you don’t like the people you’re with, move in a different social circle. Don’t blame your circumstances on others. Take responsibility.

SCORPIO (Oct 24th-Nov 22nd) Perhaps you’re stuck in a mindset you can’t seem to escape, Scorpio. Be careful about taking action based on ideas rooted more in past fantasy than present reality. Your SCORPIO emotions could be playing tricks on you. You could be attached to a dream that has more to do with feeding your ego than fulfilling your destiny. Question your motives. You might find that you’re better off redirecting your energy somewhere else.

GEMINI (May 22nd-June 21st) Take your creativity to a new level, Gemini. There are many ways to express yourself creatively, so pick one and follow through. You may have a desire to be on stage, and GEMINI you want to share your dreams and inner passion with the world. Your strong emotions and dreamy perspective are assets. Don’t try to stuff them inside or push them away. Listening to your brain too much could deprive you of the bounty in your heart and imagination.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23rd-Dec 21st) When you talk, you want other people to listen, Sagittarius. More than likely, your thoughts will drift toward humanitarian ideas and philosophies. You’re eager to share your ideas with others, and you SAGITTARIUS may have a utopian dream that, if everyone just followed, would make the world a much better place. People may make fun of you for having such a perspective, but this definitely doesn’t mean that you should stop dreaming.

CANCER (June 22nd-July 23rd) Your feelings may deceive you, Cancer, so be careful of getting too wrapped up in your own drama. Perhaps you feel you’re getting pushed and pulled in uncomfortable directions. You CANCER might tolerate this tension for a while without expressing your feelings about it. This is a dangerous policy because it could give others the impression that it’s OK to continue treating you the way they do.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22nd-Jan 20th) Issues regarding control of a situation are probably going to be your focus, Capricorn. More than likely, you adhere to a solidly planned routine. You have a set way of doing things CAPRICORN and you want to stick to it. Other people are moving into the picture, however, and they may want to take a leadership role. People will be adamant and strong willed when it comes to their facts. You should be, too.

LEO (July 24th-August 23rd) In some ways, you may feel like a lost soul who isn’t quite in touch with your dreams, Leo. Although you feel energetic and boisterous, you might also get the sense that your energy is misdirected and LEO you’re being led in the wrong direction. The key for you now is to lead yourself. Cut through everyone else’s agenda and follow your internal rainbow. The more you take charge, the happier you’ll be.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21st-Feb 19th) In some ways, you may feel like a lost soul who isn’t quite in touch with your dreams, Leo. Although you feel energetic and boisterous, you might also get the sense that energy is misdirected and AQUARIUS your you’re being led in the wrong direction. The key for you now is to lead yourself. Cut through everyone else’s agenda and follow your internal rainbow. The more you take charge, the happier you’ll be.

PISCES (Feb 20th-March 20th) VIRGO (August 24th-Sept 23rd) Your concept of reality could be The best way to create harmony based more on your emotions than among others is to first establish facts, Pisces. This is one of those harmony in yourself, Virgo. Don’t days when this could get you into expect others to take care of you trouble. Whatever comes up, you’re and attend to all your desires. At the likely to feel very passionate about same time, it isn’t your responsibility PISCES it and tend to lose any rational VIRGO to dote on others. The boundaries perspective whatsoever. Integrity, may get ambiguous at times, but do your best to inner strength, and self-confidence will be the glue maintain a healthy separation. People may pull on that holds your mind and heart together. your heartstrings to manipulate you into doing what they want. Don’t fall for it.

CRYPTOGRAMS Cryptograms are simple-substitution ciphers where every letter of the alphabet has been switched. Your task is to use pattern recognition and your grammar and vocabulary abilities to Presented Puzzle Baron decipher theby hidden quote. Hint: start

with the 1, 2 and 3 letter words, and remember that the most common letters in the English language are E-T-A-I-O-N, in roughly that order. Good luck!

Easy/Medium Cryptograms Easy/Medium Cryptograms

Presented by Puzzle Baron Easy/Medium (1.)

QWF LVM JWR IVMMRQ XFPTFKF TM WTLNFPO IVMMRQ XFPTFKF TM QWF LVM JWR IVMMRQ XFPTFKF TM WTLNFPO IVMMRQ XFPTFKF TM VMAQWTMB FPNF. QWF XVNTN RO VPP TMQFBYTQA VMU IWVYVIQFY TN VMAQWTMB FPNF. QWF XVNTN RO VPP TMQFBYTQA VMU IWVYVIQFY TN JWVQFKFY OVTQW JF WVKF TM RDY RJM TMQFBYTQA. JWVQFKFY OVTQW JF WVKF TM RDY RJM TMQFBYTQA. — Roy L. Smith

SUBADDO PYRAMIDS Puzzle #D227GZ — Roy L. Smith Puzzle #D227GZ

Easy/Medium (2.)

TriSub - 0013_M1

ERJY QD YBA BREEKHAMM ERJY QD YBA BREEKHAMM PNY KH RFQKXKHS YBAW. PNY KH RFQKXKHS YBAW. FKLYQJT. FKLYQJT.

QD CKDA LQHMKMYM HQY KH DKSBYKHS PRYYCAM, QD CKDA LQHMKMYM HQY KH DKSBYKHS PRYYCAM, R WRMYAJCT JAYJARY KM KH KYMACD R R WRMYAJCT JAYJARY KM KH KYMACD R — Norman Vincent Peale #N152KN — NormanPuzzle Vincent Peale Puzzle #N152KN

SUBADDO PYRAMID Medium CWEHK KTD EIJO KTZIN VEYKT TCMZIN, CIF KTCK ZU CWEHK

OEHKT ZU Each orange triangle connects a set of three numbers. OEHKT ZU CWEHK KTD EIJO KTZIN VEYKT TCMZIN, CIF KTCK ZU CWEHK Two numbers must add or subtract to equal the third. KTD EIJO KTZIN OEHKT TCU. KTD EIJO All KTZIN OEHKTmust TCU.be between 1 and 12 and—no numbers number Edgar Watson Howe

can

repeated

UXRGWN MHV MN UXVO MHV. ITTFRGW TCU RGUT UXV CGRBVHNV MU GRWXU, UXRGWN MHV MN UXVO MHV. ITTFRGW TCU RGUT UXV CGRBVHNV MU GRWXU, ZV YMFV GT ETYQMHRNTGN KVUZVVG HRWXU MGA ZHTGW NUMHN, GTH ZV YMFV GT ETYQMHRNTGN KVUZVVG HRWXU MGA ZHTGW NUMHN, GTH KVUZVVG ZVII MGA KMAIO MHHMGWVA ETGNUVIIMURTGN. KVUZVVG ZVII MGA KMAIO MHHMGWVA ETGNUVIIMURTGN. — Alan Watts

6 11 12 6 6 5 7 1 2 8 3 10 9 11 9 1 2 12 3 12 1 10 9 7 5 8 5 7 8 2 11 4 9 1 4 9 2 10 12 1 3 6 7 1

Puzzle #H819MW — Alan Watts Puzzle #H819MW

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/3/2018

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018

Relax

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CRYPTIC CROSSWORD Across 1. Oil company beginning to explore Alabama location (6) 4. Subs turning to a sub (1-5) 8. Music presenter goes to pub supplying spirits (5) 9. Carter’s work — a huge construction outside Los Angeles (7) 10. Gets off in area with illuminations (7) 11. Excited by the change in the air (3,2) 12. Herbal plant, European, turning red (9) 17. Shoot small animal seen over top of ridge (5) 19. Damaged blade is put out of action (7) 21. Leaders in Dar es Salaam — very small lot (7) 22. Crude ending of Victor Hugo novel (5) 23. Cook got pea soup (6) 24. Victory sign under construction in old battle (6)

QUICK CROSSWORD

ACROSS 17 18 1 Oil companyDown beginning to 1. Crazy plan to restrain(6) military assistant (6) explore Alabama location 2. Living I found, is capital (7) 4 Subs turning to without a subJack, (1-5) 3. Start without a meal (5) 8 Music presenter to embarrassed pub 5. Alcoholicgoes in bed was (7) 21 6. What(5) an actor might seek in isolation? (5) supplying spirits 7. Phrase translated into Nepalese (6) 9 Carter's work - a huge 9. Farm work provides married man with endless constructioncereal outside Los Angeles (9) 23 13. Fixing the ropes (7) (7) 14. Outsiders in race sure to come back (7) 10 Gets off in area with 15. Exhausted American editor gets out of bed illuminations(4,2) (7) 15 Exhausted American editor 16. Enclosure holding ain male or female bird (6) out of bed (4,2) 11 Excited by the change the air gets 18. Odd trees planted again (5) (3,2) 20. Dish up some coarser vegetables (5)16 Enclosure holding a male or 12 Herbal plant, European, turning female bird (6) red (9) 18 Odd trees planted again (5) 17 Shoot small animal seen over 20 Dish up some coarser top of ridge (5) vegetables (5) 19 Damaged blade 2is put out3 of 1 4 5 6 7 action (7) 21 Leaders in Dar es Salaam very small lot (7) 8 9 22 Crude ending of Victor Hugo novel (5) (6) 23 Cook got pea soup 10 11 24 Victory sign under construction in old battle (6) DOWN 12 13 14 1 Crazy plan to restrain military assistant (6)15 16 Jack, I found, is 2 Living without 19 20 18 capital (7) 17 3 Start without a meal (5) 5 Alcoholic in bed was embarrassed 21 (7) 22 might seek in 6 What an actor isolation? (5) 7 Phrase translated into Nepalese 23 24 (6) 9 Farm work provides married man with endless cereal (9) 13 Fixing the ropes (7) ons 14 Outsiders in race sure to come back (7)

(7)

Sudoku

Across 1. Equipment (6) 4. Small edible crustacean (6) 8. Braid (5) 9. Pirate (7) 10. Reading desk (7) 11. Regions (5) 12. Cede (9) 17. Elevators (5) 19. Substitute (5-2) 21. Malady (7) 22. Angry stare (5) 23. Division into opposing factions (6) 24. Exhilarated (6)

Down 1. Knock down (6) 2. Opportunities (7) 3. Milky coffee (5) 5. Oldest university in the USA (7) 6. Furious (5) 7. Read attentively (6) 9. General agreement (9) 13. Slices of bacon (7) 14. Glowing (7) 15. Confederates (6) 16. Denied (anag) (6) 18. Pilfer (5) 20. Divine messenger (5)

Hard

5/3/2018

Daily Codewords

FRIDAY 4TH MAY 2018 Daily Codeword

Rose_0012_H1

8 March 18

Chat | Travel | Celebrity | Puzzles

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ROSETTA

2 3 4 A Rosetta is made up of a 7 6 centre coloured hexagon Example encircled by 6 white hexagons. To complete the puzzle, fill in all 7 Rosettas with each number between 1 and 7 in no particular order while also ensuring that :

CODEWORDS Daily Codeword 3 May 18

Scribble Pad

1. No number is repeated in a horizontal row 2. Each number from 1 to 7 are represented in the 7 grey coloured hexagon cells.

STAR PUZZLE Star 0002-Grid_M1

DEFGHIJKLM AABBCCD EFGHIJKLM NOPQRSTUVWXYZ NOPQRSTUVWXYZ

STAR PUZZLE

To complete the puzzle fill in each of the empty hexagon cells with numbers between 1 & 7 following the 3 rules below; 1. No numbers in a horizontal line can be repeated. 2. No numbers in a diagonal line can be repeated. 3. No numbers in the 7 gray hexagons can be repeated.

Source: William Safire Puzzle #O187KQ Drop Quotes are similar to cryptograms, in that the T H goal is for the solver to uncover a hidden quote. O N I G O T T H I A black-and-white crossN T D O M E A I G H H A T R I O H E G word-style grid is set up for each quote, with a number T T E N G D D I N S T O O T I S S R M E of letters “hovering” above each column. Your task is to “drop” each of those letters 3 into the appropriate square in each column, until the 2 entire quote is revealed. All punctuation (commas, periods, dashes, etc.) has been removed. Good luck! http://bestforpuzzles.com/dc/print.html?puzz=daily-codeword-180503 1/1

5 4

Sudoku EXTRA

Medium

Hard

4 http://bestforpuzzles.com/dc/print.html?puzz=daily-codeword-180308 3

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* Note that each white hexagon belongs to a line of 7 that must contain each of the numbers between 1 and 7.

FRIDAY 27TH APRIL 2018

Sport

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There was 1 Monday Night game & 9 Premier League games at the weekend which contributed to this weeks Fantasy 21 goals,9 clean sheets,25 yellow cards and 1 red one which was Leicester City’s Marc Albrighton who was dismissed by Referee Mike Dean for committing a professional foul on Palace’s lively winger Wilfried Zaha.Defenders were the top overall scorers in last weeks Fantasy particularly Everton Players who kept 2 clean sheets but will it be enough to keep Big Sam in a job at Goodison Park next Season! The 24th A.F.F.L. may look done & dusted with Darren’s team Daz XI having a comfortable 56 point lead at the top over his mate’s team Joe’s Keith Lard F.C.with only 3 weeks to go but there is still plenty of unfinished business to be done as we move to the final stages of this Season’s Fantasy.2nd,3rd,4th & 5th places are up for grabs so there will be plenty of jostling for these places in the coming weeks.Down at the other end of the table, no such luck as Laura’s Legends had cemented the bottom spot ages ago. There were not many goals at the weekend which meant a low scoring week for our Golden Boot League so there were no

changes at the top or bottom with Wayne’s team Two Years Running, Maybe continuing to lead the pack with a 53 point advantage over Daz XI while at the other end our usual suspect Laura’s Legends are trailing Reggie’s Rejects by 12 points. Our U.K.T.V.SPAIN Junior League as easily been the most competitive section this season and it’s going to go right down to the wire.This week George’s team I Love Heather joined Robbie’s team Tea & Busquets at the Summit, both of them have a fragile 3 point lead over former leaders Wade’s Alli Barber. Down at the foot of the table Harley’s team, Ginger Ninjar have fallen by the wayside and they now trail Gian Luca’s team Messi or Tidy by 58 points. Pauline’s Vodka Army have stormed our Mark Carter Ladies Section and probably had the League wrapped up about Christmas time, however, the battle for the runnersup spot goes on between Isabel’s team The Bluebells, Rachel’s Mrs.Max & Paddy and Karen’s Ceasar’s Blackcats.Val’s Borobabe and Trish’s Springwater Boys are both in with a chance of joining the party.In the basement, Laura’s Legends have been long gone. Top scoring team this week was Gary’s

team Crap on a Canary who bagged 75 points courtesy of his 5 Everton defenders who clocked up 59 points between them.They will go into our Monthly wine Draw along with our lowest scoring team which was Sam’s I Love Spencers Bar who only managed a minus 1 thanks to West Ham’s Pablo Zabaleta who helped his former team Manchester City by knocking the ball past his own keeper. Skateboard Javi won our February Draw. Manager of the Month for April has been kindly sponsored by John & Wilma at the Orange Tree in Albir who serve up excellent food at reasonable prices.I said it would be an exciting finish as Gary’s team Crap on a Canary just pipped 2 teams Lee’s Pineapple Chunks and Gary’s Head Done In Adding Up by 3 points(not bad for an Ipswich Fan)’ Gazza’s Head Done In Adding Up won our Breakfast for 2 at the Bar Code in Alfaz sponsored by Nikky after moving up the most places this week 38 spots from 145th to 97th. At the time of going to press we have not had time to collate the scores of our K.O.Cup Semi-Finals but I’m sure by the time you read this the results will be up on our website which is www.alfazffl.com.

Sporting Alfas Cricket Club Sporting Alfas Ladies 126 for 6 beat Jackie and Annie carried on SACC chairman Kevin SPORTING Ladies 125 for 6 and the score reached 82 Laundon presented the teams

The Woodbridge Oval entertained local ladies for the clubs first all ladies match (and Jason) and what an event it turned into. Our two captains put the names into the hat and pulled out the teams. Cate winning the toss and asking Jane´s team to set a score. The evenly match teams played, many of the players for the first time, ¨its like rounder’s¨ was the most spoken phrase on the day. The score board ticked along at 5 an over. Pick of the bowlers was Karen, her 5

over spell only going for 14 runs. Lowes and Bella started and took the score to 25 from the first 5 overs. Julie and Sam took it on to 50 from 10, Jane and Jason then took the score along to 82 from 15 overs. Captain Jane and Sam´s partnership took the score to a very respectable 125 off the allotted 20 overs. Umpire John called the first innings to an end. Cate and Lyndsie raced along at 8 an over to take the score to 40 from the first 5 overs, not to be outdone

from 10, Karen and Susie batted well and the score reached 115 from 15. Bella and Julie turned up the heat, the pair bowling in tandem only leaking 24 runs from the 7 over spell they enjoyed. Captain Cate along with Susie then nervously edged past the required 125 and the ground erupted as both teams let out the energy that sport gives. The packed terrace stood as one and applauded the players who really gave everything in this introduction to cricket match.

with a match ball each to remember the day. Thanking, John Sawyer for handling the game out in the middle, Tyler Brown for excellent service, Ian Byrne for helping out when it was extreemly busy, (Mrs Byrne be warned he can wash dishes as well as poor drinks). Colours Bar for bringing down players and Hepburns for supporting the match and inviting all players and supporters back to enjoy snacks.

Jukebox Football Predictions League

ALFAZ FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

ALL TIMES GIVEN ARE SPANISH TIME

Friday 4th May EPL - Brighton v Man Utd

9:00 PM

Saturday 5th May

EPL - Stoke City v Crystal Palace EPL - Bournemouth v Swansea EPL - Leicester v West Ham EPL - Watford v Newcastle EPL - West Brom v Tottenham EPL - Everton v Southampton

Sunday 6th May

EPL - Man City v Huddersfield EPL - Chelsea v Liverpool EPL - Arsenal v Burnley

1:30 PM 4:00 PM 4:00 PM 4:00 PM 4:00 PM 6:30 PM 2:30 PM 5:30 PM 5:30 PM

Tuesday 8th May

EPL - Swansea City v Southampton 8:45 PM

Wednesday 9th May EPL - Leicester City v Arsenal EPL - Chelsea v Huddersfield EPL - Man City v Brighton EPL - Tottenham v Newcastle

8:45 PM 8:45 PM 9:90 PM 9:90 PM

Thursday 10th May EPL - West Ham v Man Utd

8:45 PM

Formula One Calendar 2018 13 May - Barcelona - Spain 27 May - Monaco - Monaco 10 June - Montreal - Canada 24 June - Le Castellet - France 1 July - Spielberg - Austria 8 July - Silverstone - Great Britain 22 July - Hockenheim - Germany 29 July - Budapest Hungary 26 August - Spa - Belgium 2 September - Monza - Italy 16 September - Singapore - Singapore 30 September - Sochi Russia 7 October - Suzuka - Japan 21 October - Austin - USA 28 October - Mexico City -Mexico 11 November - Sao Paulo - Brazil 25 November - Yas Marina - Abu Dhabi