Tea Time with Tina

Get A Grip on the Gossip

BY TINA GALLO

’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!” As children, we may have believed that. But we all know that isn’t true, right? Words are very powerful. They can bring great joy or deeply wound, causing severe pain and misery. Proverbs 18:21 (ESV) says it like this, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits."

The tongue has the power of life and death? I’d say that’s pretty serious. The stakes are high. Our words CAN either speak life or death. Our tongues can build others up, or they can tear others down. Just like an unchecked fire doubles in size every minute, gossip and false teaching are no different. It’s been said that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.

Let’s be real and honest. As women who emotionally connect and relate to each other, it’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of gossip! Whether we’ve been gossiped about and been on the receiving end of angry vices, or whether we’ve been enticed and tempted to speak an ill word about someone else, we’ve all been there. We know the truth - sticks and stones can break our bones, AND words can hurt our hearts.

So what do we do when our ears are itching? Stand firm in your resolve, harnessing God’s power only to speak what is good and true. This may involve choosing your friends wisely so that gossip does not become a standard in your life. You may have to separate yourself from a gossip-filled conversation, refusing to partake so that you do not inadvertently damage someone’s reputation. And when offended, let God fight your battle!

The Bible tells us that "A perverse man stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." (Proverbs 16:28, NIV)

And "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." (Exodus 14:14, NIV)

I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. She smiled and said to me, “I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas, and my destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful and so much more content.”

Gossip is the breeding ground for small fights. As women who often lean on each other, we must take care to support one another without willfully cutting others down.

The Bible gives us clear guidelines regarding our speech. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

We must be a body of Christ that safeguards our very beings against this venom. May we be those that love through His love and live by His love.

If you have been a part of a gossiping party, which most of us can openly confess we have, know that you are not beyond God’s grace! Pause and pray right now and ask the Lord to give you the power and His measure of love toward others! Because God is our defender, we do not need to allow insecurity, unkindness, bitterness, or anger lead us into gossiping! And we don’t need someone else to validate a relationship or situation when we have the living God to understand the problem.

Lord Jesus, forgive me for slandering my neighbor, instead help me to love my neighbor. Jesus, help me to forgive those who have wounded my heart by their words and false accusations. Free my heart from holding onto this pain. Let all the words used against me and those I’ve used against others be dismantled by your love! Guard my tongue and let my heart honor you above the temptation to gossip! In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Tina is an award-winning actress, best-selling author, speaker, and acting coach. Best known for her role as DiDi on the soap opera General Hospital, Tina is the founder of ‘The Nashville Studio of Method Acting. She also traveled with Frank Sinatra selling his merchandise for 2 1/2 years. Tina is currently writing her next book, Unfiltered, and has made appearances on Christian Broadcast Network and Daystar Television, sharing her testimony of God’s faithfulness.