CITYPAPER
cr THCAB GUIDEEVENT af IS WIN INSID ba ty EEFEV E st ARTS & KENEDR ar CRAFT dsS FAIR !
Washington
food: restaurant proposal stories 17
theater: up-andcoming companies 29
Free Volume 36, no. 6 WashingtonCityPaPer.Com February 5–11, 2016
★Ward War III★ In the 2016 primary, it’s Muriel Bowser’s picks against everyone else. 12 By Will Sommer / Photos by Darrow Montgomery
More Affordable Service for DC
“I support the merger because it will help people like Robin.” Major Lewis Reckline
National Capital Area Commander The Salvation Army National Capital Area Command
“I’m always looking for ways to save money on my bills.” Robin Young
Pepco Customer Congress Heights
The Pepco Holdings-Exelon Merger: Affordability, Reliability and Sustainability for DC. Monthly bills add up. It’s why as part of the Pepco Holdings-Exelon merger, the companies are providing over $25 million to offset distribution rate increases for residential customers through March 2019. The merger will also provide $14 million for a one-time direct bill credit – more than $50 per residential customer. For years, Pepco Holdings has supported the Salvation Army’s work to help DC families in need. Now the merger will make electric service more affordable for those families – and for all Pepco customers. We signed the petition to show our support. You can, too, at PHITomorrow.com.
For more information or to show your support, visit PHITomorrow.com.
Paid for by Exelon Corporation. 2 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
INSIDE
12 ward war iii
PRESENTED BY
Preview the at-large, Ward 7, and Ward 8 races By Will Sommer Photos by Darrow Montgomery
Unobstructed View Buy D.C. Gear Prudence Savage Love
“
NE ST
47 Crossword
NE ST ET UD LLA GA
THIS SATURDAY!
We do it so that they see it, because We really don’t Want anybody sWalloWing that. —Page 17
”
E TN ES NC IDE OV PR
29 Next Stage: TheatreWashington’s Aniello award and the next generation of D.C.’s theater companies 31 Blasting Off: With its third album, Two Inch Astronaut is breaking free of the city’s musical past. 33 Curtain Calls: Hughes on The Glass Menagerie and Paarlberg on The Sisters Rosensweig 34 Theater: Klimek on A Midsummer Night’s Dream 36 Short Subjects: Gittell on Hail, Caesar!
diversions
E TN IE S OK
Crafty Bastards Cabin Fever NE PL
arts
46 CLassiFieds
E TN IE S OK
L RA NT CE
17 Dinner Engagement: Stories of restaurant proposals 19 Grazer: The cheesiest Valentine’s Day specials 19 Are You Gonna Eat That? Buredo’s Tanaka Roll 19 Brew In Town: Schlafly The Eleventh Labor
E EN AV RK YO
K WIC FEN
d.C. Feed
W NE
W ES T
7 8 9 10
N E
39 City Lights: As he approaches 90, Mel Brooks remains as sharp and funny as ever. 39 Music 42 Theater 45 Film
AV E
distriCt Line
VI RG IN IA
City List E TN HS 16T
4 Chatter
Indoor Show! New Location! One Day Only! 1401 NEW YORK AVENUE NE, WASHINGTON, DC 20002 • 571.748.3239 • HECHTWAREHOUSE.COM
Saturday, Feb. 6, 2016 10 a.m. - 7 p.m.
New LocATIoN: Hecht Warehouse
1401 New York Ave. NE Washington, DC www.washingtoncitypaper.com/craftybastards
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 3
CHATTER Survey Says
In which our readers dance with polls
Darrow MontgoMery
Washington City Paper and D.C. Vote last week published the D.C. Poll, a survey of almost a thousand voters on an array of issues. Things you definitely want? Pot clubs, campaign finance reform, a $15-an-hour minimum wage, and the city’s leaders to tell Congress to get bent when they interfere in District matters. “And DC wonders why they get laughed at when they insist on being recognized as a state. Take a look at the answers here and you’ll figure out why,” wrote Typical DC BS, proving that yes, the Internet is available in Virginia. While a slim majority of voters want to see an NFL stadium on East Capitol, amazingly, many readers—who apparently haven’t been inside RFK in a while—don’t even see the need to tear the current place down. “DC can rent it for incidental events, such as a concerts and rallies. Probably make enough to pay for what little upkeep it needs,” commented Jetsam. We’ll let you dodge the falling concrete in the upper deck. “Only SJW’s read that shitty rag now,” tweeted @CapsExaminer at the news that 58 percent find the NFL club’s nickname offensive. He’d rather shoot the messenger. “Very few people read that paper.” So does anybody read the City Paper? Apparently the D.C. Council does. Less than a week after we showed that 61 percent of voters favor cannabis clubs, the Council unexpectedly tabled a permanent ban and formed a study committee instead. “I TRULY DONT SEE WHERE THIS WOULD AN ISSUE IN A PRIVATE CLUB” intoned our favorite all-caps commenter Noodlez about pot clubs. And after the poll, neither do the city’s leaders. Editor’s Note: We’re excited to announce that Will Sommer has been named politics editor. A 2010 graduate of Georgetown, Sommer joined the paper on the City Desk beat in 2012 before being named Loose Lips columnist. His wry take on the District’s politics has since delighted readers and annoyed the city’s establishment. Deep dives into corrupt lawyers and failed nightclubs have demonstrated that he’s an excellent writer with a gift for finding a good story. He’ll maintain his Loose Lips perch while helping our editing staff plan and execute the paper’s coverage in print and online in what we expect to be a busy —Steve Cavendish election year. Congratulations, Will. Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.
1100 BLOCK OF 14TH STREET NW, FEB. 3
puBLiSHER EmERiTuS: Amy AustIn iNTERim puBLiSHER: ErIc norwood EDiTOR: stEVE cAVEndIsH maNagiNg EDiTORS: EmIly q. HAzzArd, sArAH AnnE HugHEs aRTS EDiTOR: mAtt coHEn FOOD EDiTOR: jEssIcA sIdmAn pOLiTiCS EDiTOR: wIll sommEr CiTy LigHTS EDiTOR: cArolInE jonEs STaFF WRiTER: AndrEw gIAmbronE STaFF pHOTOgRapHER: dArrow montgomEry ONLiNE DEvELOpER: zAcH rAusnItz CREaTivE DiRECTOR: jAndos rotHstEIn aRT DiRECTOR: lAurEn HEnEgHAn CONTRiBuTiNg WRiTERS: jEffrEy AndErson, jonEttA rosE bArrAs, morgAn bAskIn, ErIcA brucE, sopHIA busHong, krIston cApps, rIlEy crogHAn, jEffry cudlIn, ErIn dEVInE, mAtt dunn, tIm EbnEr, noAH gIttEll, ElEnA goukAssIAn, trEy grAHAm, lAurA HAyEs, louIs jAcobson, AmrItA kHAlId, stEVE kIVIAt, cHrIs klImEk, joHn krIzEl, jEromE lAngston, cHrIstInE mAcdonAld, nEVIn mArtEll mAEVE mcdErmott, trAVIs mItcHEll, mArcus j. moorE, justIn moyEr, trIcIA olszEwskI, EVE ottEnbErg, mIkE pAArlbErg, sofIA rEsnIck, rEbEccA j. rItzEl, bEtH sHook, jordAn-mArIE smItH, mAtt tErl, tAmmy tuck, nAtAlIE VIllAcortA, kAArIn VEmbAr, jonEllE wAlkEr, EmIly wAlz, joE wArmInsky, mIcHAEl j. wEst, brAndon wu iNTERNS: AllIson kowAlskI, quInn myErs DiRECTOR OF auDiENCE DEvELOpmENT: sArA dIck SaLES maNagER: mElAnIE bAbb SENiOR aCCOuNT ExECuTivES: joE HIcklIng, ArlEnE kAmInsky, AlIcIA mErrItt aCCOuNT ExECuTivES: stu kElly, cHrIsty sIttEr, cHAd VAlE SaLES OpERaTiONS maNagER: HEAtHEr mcAndrEws DiRECTOR OF maRKETiNg aND EvENTS: cHloE fEdynA BuSiNESS DEvELOpmENT aSSOCiaTE: EdgArd IzAguIrrE OpERaTiONS DiRECTOR: jEff boswEll SENiOR SaLES OpERaTiON aND pRODuCTiON COORDiNaTOR: jAnE mArtInAcHE SOuTHCOmm: CHiEF ExECuTivE OFFiCER: cHrIs fErrEll CHiEF FiNaNCiaL OFFiCER: Ed tEArmAn CHiEF OpERaTiNg OFFiCER: blAIr joHnson ExECuTivE viCE pRESiDENT: mArk bArtEl LOCaL aDvERTiSiNg: (202) 332-2100 Fax: (202) 618-3959, Ads@wAsHIngtoncItypApEr.com vOL. 36, NO. 6, FEB. 5–FEB. 11, 2016 wAsHIngton cIty pApEr Is publIsHEd EVEry wEEk And Is locAtEd At 1400 EyE st. nw, suItE 900, wAsHIngton, d.c. 20005. cAlEndAr submIssIons ArE wElcomEd; tHEy must bE rEcEIVEd 10 dAys bEforE publIcAtIon. u.s. subscrIptIons ArE AVAIlAblE for $250 pEr yEAr. IssuE wIll ArrIVE sEVErAl dAys AftEr publIcAtIon. bAck IssuEs of tHE pAst fIVE wEEks ArE AVAIlAblE At tHE offIcE for $1 ($5 for oldEr IssuEs). bAck IssuEs ArE AVAIlAblE by mAIl for $5. mAkE cHEcks pAyAblE to wAsHIngton cIty pApEr or cAll for morE optIons. © 2016 All rIgHts rEsErVEd. no pArt of tHIs publIcAtIon mAy bE rEproducEd wItHout tHE wrIttEn pErmIssIon of tHE EdItor.
4 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
Smithsonian American Art Museum
LUCE UNPLUGGED COMMUNITY SHOWCASE Friday, February 12 • 6-8 p.m.
Kick off your weekend with Luce Unplugged! The El Mansouris and Elena & Los Fulanos play and Port City Brewing Company offers free tastings of select beers (ages 21+) while you explore the Luce Center’s artworks. Free. Snacks and libations available for purchase.
www.washingtoncitypaper.com
Smithsonian American Art Museum • 8th and G Streets, NW • Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro 11:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. • AmericanArt.si.edu • Free
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 5
“A sharply moving synthesis of man and nature, east and west, death and rebirth” —The Guardian
Dance Theatre of Taiwan Lin Hwai-min, Artistic Director
Huang Pei-hua and Tsai Ming-yuan in Rice, photo by Liu Chen-hsiang.
Rice
D.C. PREMIERE
February 12 & 13 | Opera House TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400. International Programming at the Kennedy Center is made possible through the generosity of the Kennedy Center International Committee on the Arts.
KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets are also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400. 6 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
UNOBSTRUCTEDVIEW Loyalty Is Overrated By Matt Terl A while back, I sat with a bunch of other sports media types—bloggers, writers, explayers, and so on—to tape a pilot of a potential D.C .-centric sportstalk yapfest. The project was not picked up and is now dead, and I thank god for that every single day. Not just because I am terrible on TV (I am), nor because I wish any ill on the people involved (I don’t), but because during the taping I claimed that Randy Wittman was the key to the Wizards’ success. On camera! For posterity! In late 2014, the Wizards were off to a hot start, probably somewhere around 9–5 or so at the time of taping. My argument, as I recall it, had something to do with him getting guys to buy into his approach and convincing them to play tough on D while also getting the most out of John Wall. At the time, it was just barely defensible. Even then, I was probably subconsciously doing the stupid TV thing of taking a hottake stance just to make the segment more interesting—six random people all agreeing that Wall was the secret of the Wiz’s success would’ve been spectacularly dull no matter how carefully it was edited. Now, it looms alongside “Kirk Cousins is demonstrably terrible” and “The trade for RG3 is great, because what’s the worst that can happen?” as a monument to my enduring idiocy. Because at this point, there is no one left on Earth who believes that Randy Wittman should still be employed by the Wizards after this abysmal season finally wraps up. In fact, a quick scan of #WizardsTwitter shows a lot of folks who feel that Wittman has been around for at least a year too long already. Similarly, it’s well past time for minimally successful General Manager Ernie Grunfeld to go. A piece on Wizards blog Bullets Forever makes that case and as of press time has more than 400 comments, nearly all of them in full agreement. That would seem pretty significant, except that an article three years ago on the same site, making a similar argument, has 100-plus comments, most of them agreeing, too. The fans have been fed up with Wittman for a couple years and Grunfeld for more, but owner Ted Leonsis has remained loyal. It would be easy to say “admirably loyal,” except that there’s an awful lot of evidence pointing to the idea that, in professional
sports, loyalty isn’t necessarily a winning strategy. Leonsis has already arguably been on the wrong side of this debate once, with former Capitals General Manager George McPhee, who assembled the nucleus of the revitalized Caps roster but was ultimately unable to get it to the next level of success. Fans and pundits were openly clamoring for change to be made for more than three years before Leonsis finally made a move. In a 2011 column defending McPhee’s continued employment, the Washington Post’s Mike Wise even tried to tie Leonsis’ loyalty to his Greek heritage. McPhee would last until 2014; ironically, one of the final knocks against him was his own fierce loyalty to certain players. That unwillingness to move on can be career suicide in professional sports. It leads to keeping players past their prime, rewarding players for past results with future contracts, or re-signing poor scheme fits out of nostalgia or fondness. It seems significant that Bill Belichick’s Patriots team—a gold standard for success in the NFL—heartlessly cut productive veterans before they were fully used up, and that the Pittsburgh Steelers would regularly let their successful linebackers leave, counting on their productive system to produce a replacement. Leonsis’ loyalty here more closely resembles the local football team than either of those examples. There are multiple instances over the years when Dan Snyder has chosen loyalty to his trusted lieutenants (Vinny Cerrato) or favored players (late-career Clinton Portis, possibly Robert Griffin III) rather than making the harder decision that would more quickly translate to on-field success. In a 2011 interview on 106.7 The Fan— about sticking with Grunfeld, coincidentally enough—Leonsis appeared to cite loyalty as a virtue. “You guys know me long enough, I am pretty loyal. I believe we’re in it together,” he said. “And as long as we are on the same page, I think that there’s harmony in the organization.” Sure, loyalty is laudable, but it’s equally important to understand when it stands in the way of progress. It seems clear that the Wizards have reached that point with Grunfeld; the question is if Leonsis still believes that harmony is more important than taking emotionally tough steps to imCP prove the team.
Egg Donors Needed Financial Compensation $8,000 If you are a healthy woman between the ages of 20-29 and would like to help an infertile couple, please email info@dominionfertility.com
StreetSense StreetSense eggdonordc.com
(703) 920-3890
Street
Joe has 32 candy bars. Then he eats 18 candy bars. What does Joe have now?
Educating the public and empowering the homeless one newspaper at a time.
Cavities. Joe has cavities.
SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT TODAY!
202-293-1067 $135 NEW PATIENT SPECIAL INCLUDES:
Pick up a copy today from vendors throughout downtown D.C. or visit www.streetsense.org for more information.
• Oral Cancer Screening • Full Mouth Set of X-rays • Dental Cleaning • Examination • Periodontal Exam ($415 value)
Adam Vitelli, DMD WashingtonsChoiceDentalcare.com washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 7
BUYD.C.
Fri & Sat, Feb. 5 & 6 at Midnight! Buy Advance Tickets Online
Super Bowl 50 By Kaarin Vembar
tickets.landmarktheatres.com
Anniversary Sale February 6 - February 21, 2016
Discount of All Items
When Pigs Fly Use a punny plate that illustrates flying pigskin. Pig plate, $16. Salt & Sundry. 1309 5th St. NE. (202) 556-1866. To the Letter You can wear team colors, but why not take it to the next level and break out your letterman jacket? Varsity letters, $9 each. Junction. 1510 U St. NW. (202) 483-0261.
Healthy Adult?
Ain’t No Thang It’s estimated that Americans will eat 1.3 billion chicken wings during the Super Bowl. Lemon Pepper Wings from this U Street establishment are hard to beat. 6-Piece wings, $6.95. Oohhs & Aahhs. 1005 U St. NW. (202) 667-7142.
NIH RESEARCH STUDY
Join A Study on Anxiety These studies explore how the brain and body work when people feel anxious. Studies are conducted at the NIH Clinical Center, Bethesda, MD. Compensation is provided. Research may include: Participants must be: • 1-4 outpatient visits • 18 to 50, • computer tasks • free of psychiatric disorders and • exposure to unpleasant stimuli certain medical conditions • brain scan To find out if you qualify, call... www.clinicaltrials.gov
301-451-5087
Email: Bari.fuchs@nih.gov (TTY:1-866-411-1010) Refer to studies 01-M-0185 or 02-M-0321. Se habla español.
www.nih.nimh.gov/JoinAStudy 8 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
Wish You Were Beer Make sure your guests don’t lose track of their brew with these cheeky beer bands. Beer bands, $10. Chocolate Moose. 1743 L St. NW. (202) 463-0992.
When I Dip You Dip We Dip This salsa goes great with chips, but you can also use it as a meat marinade. Either way, it’s a food win. Frontera salsa, $3.99. Streets Market & Cafe. 2400 14th St. NW. (202) 265-3300.
Gear Prudence: I frequently have guests over and most of the time they arrive by bike. I try to be a good host and accommodate them by letting them bring their bikes into my place rather than leave them locked up on the street. The other week, however, during inclement weather, I did this and they made a huge mess in my apartment. I had to get one of those carpet cleaners from the grocery store! Now I’m second-guessing being so polite, and I think it’d be better if they just left their bikes outside. How do I tell them that the arrangement has changed and they can’t bring their bikes inside anymore? —Helping Others Stops Today Dear HOST: It’s good to finally be consulted on a question of hosting etiquette. GP is an excellent host. Not only are all bikes admitted into the premises, but there is an assortment of scented chain lubes in each restroom and a pump concierge to see that tires are inflated to proper pressure prior to any guest’s departure. It sounds like to this point you’ve been an excellent bike host but some time scrubbing has led you to reconsider. And this is your right—a person’s home is his castle, not his bike parking lot—but before you do, consider a few things. When you allow your guests to store their bikes in your home, you’re giving them tremendous peace of mind. They needn’t worry about theft or errant bird droppings. In inclement weather, you’re shielding the bike’s delicate exposed bits from rain, wind, and muck. But most importantly, you’re telling your cyclist friends that you respect and value their transportation choices, and maybe you’re also rubbing it in their faces a little that you have a big enough apartment to fit their bikes. That’s the kind of passive-aggressive social one-upmanship that underlies all sorts of adult friendships. But if you can no longer abide bikes in the house (and lack the foresight or willingness to put down a trash bag to protect your floors) and there’s no interior hallway, bike room, or garage where the bikes could safely wait, then you have limited choices. Tell them your new policy. Be upfront, direct, apologetic, but firm. Conversely, you could make up a story about how your cat is afraid of bikes now. The cat thing won’t work if you keep your own bikes in the house, though, or if you don’t have a cat. Maybe adopt a cat? Maybe don’t adopt a cat, but do make sure that there are viable outdoor bike parking options nearby. Or your guests —GP might stop coming. Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling? Email gearprudence@washcp.com. washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 9
SAVAGELOVE A large crowd braved a snowstorm to come out to Savage Love Live at Boston’s Wilbur Theatre last week. Questions were submitted on index cards, which allowed questioners to remain anonymous and forced them to be succinct. I got to as many of them as I could over two long, raucous, boozy hours. Here are some of the questions I didn’t have time for in Boston… —Dan Savage
ships in our lives—one open, one closed—and then either taken a vow of celibacy or pledged to stick to NSA sex for the rest of our lives. Our choices are informed by our experience, of course, and you had a bad experience with an open relationship. Open relationships might not be for you. But it’s also possible that the problem with your last relationship wasn’t the openness but the partner.
What do you think of poop play?
Advice for happily child-free people in a baby- and parent-worshipping world?
I think of it rarely. How long should I keep my partner locked in male chastity? Until Rick Santorum is president. What exactly causes relationships to end? Relationships end for all sorts of different reasons—boredom, neglect, contempt, betrayal, abuse—but all relationships that don’t end survive for the same reason: The people in them just keep not breaking up. Sometimes people in relationships that need to end never get around to breaking up. I was in an open relationship once and was heartbroken in the end because my partner broke the rules we made. My current partner wants to make our monogamous relationship open, but I am hesitant because of my previous burn. How do I get over this and become comfortable with an open relationship again? Rejecting nonmonogamy because your last nonmonogamous relationship failed makes about as much sense as rejecting monogamy because your last monogamous relationship failed. If people applied the same standard to closed relationships that they apply to open ones (“I was in one that failed so I can never enter into another one!”), most of us would’ve had two relation-
You could take comfort in your free time, your disposable income, and your vomit-free wardrobe. You could also see baby and parent worship for what it is: a desperate attempt on the part of the busy, broke, and vomit-spackled (and the people trying to sell stuff to us) to make ourselves feel better about the consequential and irrevocable choice we made to have kids. Magnum condoms are just marketing, right?
seem want more chaos, drama, and hurt in their lives. Unless you know a couple well, or unless you’ve noticed the trail of destruction they’ve left in their wake, there’s just no way to tell what they’re really after until after you’ve slept with them. Anyway, how do you move on? You send a note, you apologize for your part in the chaos, drama, and hurt, and you express a desire to mend the friendship. Hopefully you’ll hear from them.
Mom could’ve yelled: “We can’t talk right now! I’m peeing on your father!” What is the deal with a “blumkin”? Like, honestly, why? Why? WHY? They freak me out and confuse me.
My husband and I (30s, M/F, two kids) found out our best friends of 20 years were secretly poly. And we didn’t know! Well, we all fucked. Now our relationship/friendship is fucked, too. How do we move on from this mess?
Take it away, Urban Dictionary: “When a man is sitting on the toilet taking a shit and has his woman come in and give him head during the act of shitting.” I’ve been writing this dumb sex-advice column for a long time, and while I’ve received a few questions like yours over the years (“What’s the deal with blumkins?!?”), I’ve never once received a question about an IRL blumkin session gone wrong. So blumkins aren’t for real, and they’re not really about sex. As you can see from the UD definition, it’s not about sex or kink, it’s about misogyny and implied violence, i.e., the man takes a shit and orders “his woman” to come in and give him head. Consensual degradation and power play can be hot, of course, but blumkins and donkey punching and dirty sanchezes—and the scared little boys who talk about them—are bullshit. Sexist bullshit.
People who are poly say they want more love, sex, and joy in their lives—but some poly people
Like most gay men in their early 30s, I enjoy chatting and sending pics of my nether regions via dat-
Wrong—but you don’t have to take my word for it. Just spend 10 minutes on Tumblr and you’ll see for yourself. I accidentally told my dad about your podcast when teaching him how to use iTunes. I called home a couple of weeks later, and Dad told me he’s been listening and Mom yells, “I’m not gonna pee on you!” It could’ve been worse. Mom could’ve yelled: “We can’t talk right now! I’m peeing on your father!”
10 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
ing apps. My conflict is that I am a public school teacher. While I believe I have a right to a sex life, what if someone I send a pic to disagrees? Do you think I should stop? We need to pick a day for everyone on earth to intentionally release a pic of their nether regions online. It should be an annual holiday— just to get it over with and to prevent moralizing scolds from going after people whose pics go unintentionally astray. But schoolteachers have been fired for sexting. So… whether you stop or not depends on the degree of risk you’re comfortable with and the faith you have in the discretion of the folks you’re meeting on apps. Why is the term “monogamy” and not “monoamory”? Monogamy comes from the Greek “monos” for “single” and “gamos” for “marriage.” So the term literally means “one marriage” not “one love.” Since you can be monogamous without being married, and married without being monogamous, perhaps the term really should be “monoamory,” meaning “one love at a time, married or not.” But meaning follows usage, and an effort to get people to use monoamory would be just as futile as efforts to stop people from using polyamory because it mixes Greek (“poly”) and Latin (“amory”). We’re both over 40, married 10 years. He wants a threesome, and I’m ambivalent. He says +1 girl, I say +1 boy. What do we do? Upgrade to a foursome with +1 oppositesex couple. Thanks to everyone who came out to the Wilbur! I had a blast! Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.
Looking for a better choice? DISCOVER RCN.
Clien Job # Size: Date
Prep
FIRST MONTH + INSTALL
FREE ON 155 MBPS INTERNET OFFERS!
ONLINE EXCLUSIVE OFFER!
RCN is the BEST CHOICE for High-Speed Internet and Digital TV. BEST SERVICE, BEST VALUE!
29
99
$
1
/month for 12 months
• Fast and reliable connections for everyday use • Local news, weather & sports
25 Mbps Internet + Digital TV
79
$
99
3
/month for 12 months
• 2x times more Internet speed • More TV, movies, choices— 240 must-have channels • Includes 30+ premium movie channels—a $300 value!
49
$
99
2
• 6x times more Internet speed • Local news, weather & sports
/month for 12 months
155 Mbps Internet + Digital TV
84
$
99
4
/month for 12 months
• 6x times more Internet speed & the best price in town! • 240 must-have channels • Includes 30+ premium movie channels—a $300 value!
50 Mbps Internet + Signature TV
155 Mbps Internet + Signature TV
+ STARZ® + SHOWTIME® + THE MOVIE CHANNEL™
+ STARZ® + SHOWTIME® + THE MOVIE CHANNEL™
No contract required | Equipment extra | Next day installation VOTED #1 Customers rated RCN best overall Internet service.
ONLINE EXCLUSIVE!
rcn.com/feb2
*Offer valid only for new residential RCN customers or customers that have not had RCN’s service within the last 60 days. Offer expires 2/29/16. All sales subject to credit check, applicable surcharges, equipment taxes, franchise fees and government imposed charges and fees. Free month and standard installation valued at $49.99 available on a la carte 155 Mbps and all 155 Mbps Internet, TV, and Phone bundles and excludes taxes, surcharges and applicable fees. Additional fees may apply for custom installation. ¹$29.99 package includes Digital TV and 25 Mbps High Speed Internet. Digital TV refers to Basic Digital TV package only. $29.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $39.99 months 13-24 and $49.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. ²$49.99 package includes Digital TV and 155 Mbps High Speed Internet. Digital TV refers to Basic Digital TV package only. $49.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $59.99 months 13-24 and $69.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. ³$79.99 package includes Signature Digital TV and 50 Mbps High Speed Internet. $79.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $94.99 months 13-24 and $109.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. $84.99 package includes Signature Digital TV and 50 Mbps High Speed Internet. $84.99 per month offer is a promotional rate effective upon installation for a term of twelve months. Thereafter, price increases to $99.99 months 13-24 and $114.99 months 25-36. Modem and high definition converter box equipment not included; additional fees apply. Number of channels may vary based upon package selection. *Savings calculation based on retail price for SHOWTIME, THE MOVIE CHANNEL and Starz for 12 months. Number of channels may vary based upon package selection.Advertised Internet download speeds are average speeds, but may vary and are not guaranteed. Higher Internet speeds available at an additional monthly charge. Charges may apply for additional services. Other restrictions may apply. Not all services available in all areas. Same and next day installation window subject to availability. All names, logos, images and service marks are property of their respective owners. Visit rcn.com for additional terms and conditions. *RCN received the highest overall satisfaction rating (8.3, tied with FiOS) among cable-based ISPs in 2015. Reprinted from pcmag. com with permission. ©2016 Ziff Davis, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Readers’ Choice logo is a trademark of Ziff Davis, Inc. used under license. ©2016 Starpower Communications, LLC. All rights reserved. RCNDC51
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 11
718Ken@
©2016
★Ward War III★ In the 2016 primary, it’s Muriel Bowser’s picks against everyone else.
By Will Sommer
tempted to reinstate Bowser’s crime bill through McDuffie’s committee but were foiled by a surprise appearance by Mendelson on the Council dais. Similar Council opposition held up Bowser’s push for police body cameras and ultimately forced her to agree to a compromise that made more footage available to the public. In the way Supreme Court watchers keep an eye on Justice Anthony Kennedy, city hall wags focus on that single vote in the 13-member body. With three Bowser-allied incumbents in challenging races this year, the outcome of June’s primaries could mean a more empowered first term for Bowser’s administration—or even less support for the mayor on the dais. Bowser doesn’t have to worry about ev-
ery race on the ballot this year. In Ward 4, Bowser favorite Brandon Todd looks set to cruise to reelection in the mayor’s old seat. In Ward 2, meanwhile, incumbent Jack Evans is showing how he became the Council’s longest-serving member—by aligning himself with the mayor and raising gobs of money to scare off any challengers. In November, independent At-Large Councilmember David Grosso could face a Bowserbacked challenger, thanks to his frequent needling of the mayor’s agenda. So far, though, he’s only running against a Republican and Drew Franklin, an Occupy-style candidate who aims to win by “keeping it real at all times.” It’s safe to say these aren’t the kind of
Photographs by Darrow Montgomery, Photoillustrations by Jandos Rothstein
Vince Gray came in late, but that didn’t stop the applause. As the mayor slipped into the January community meeting at a Ward 5 church, the crowd—nearly all African Americans over 50 years old—broke into applause. And by the end of his speech, they were shouting his name. That kind of enthusiasm isn’t unusual for the mayor of the District, but Gray hasn’t been the mayor for more than a year. In December, prosecutors finally closed the four-year-long investigation into his 2010 campaign without charging him. After losing his mayoral reelection because of the investigation, Gray is free
to return to District politics. Now Gray is coming back and is likely to run for a D.C. Council seat in the Democratic primary. The ex-mayor, who could enter either of two Council races, looks to be the most prominent candidate in a June Democratic primary that could change city politics for years. In Muriel Bowser’s first year in office, her agenda ran into trouble. That’s thanks to an alliance between a handful of councilmembers, including D.C. Council Chairman Phil Mendelson and Ward 5 Councilmember (and potential future mayoral rival) Kenyan McDuffie. Bowser-favored legislation has repeatedly lost by a single vote. Last month, for example, Bowser allies at-
12 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
opponents Grosso needs to worry much about, especially when he has more than $80,000 in his campaign treasury. For the foreseeable future, then, Bowser’s plans rest with the campaign hopes of three allies: Ward 7’s Yvette Alexander, Ward 8’s LaRuby May, and At-Large Councilmember Vincent Orange.
WARD 8
The Democratic primary for the Ward 8 Council seat will take place on June 14, 2016. But it’s starting to look a lot like September 1996. The dynamics of Councilmember LaRuby May’s reelection campaign has political wags predicting a reenactment of the race that happened 20 years ago, when challenger Sandy Allen walloped incumbent Eydie Whittington. The year before that, in 1995, Marion Barry ended his post-prison redemption tour by ditching the Ward 8 Council seat for a return to the mayoral suite. Barry backed Whittington to replace him in a special election, while his wife Cora Masters Barry chaired her campaign. In the 1995 special election to replace Barry, Whittington and Allen faced off against a whopping 19 other candidates. Whittington ultimately beat Allen by only one vote. But mayoral support couldn’t help Whittington in the primary the next year, when Allen returned in a much less crowded field. Despite Barry’s endorsement, Whittington lost to Allen by 300 votes. The lessons from Whittington’s defeat—and
the limits of mayoral support in the city’s poorest ward—loom over Bowser-endorsed May. Just like in 1995, May ran in a special election last year to replace Barry, this time because of his death six months earlier. Like Whittington, she had the endorsement and fundraising power of the mayor behind her both times. And like Whittington, that helped her pull out a squeaker of a win last year: In a crowded field, she beat street organizer Trayon White by 78 votes, following a recount. Running for her seat again less than a year after the special election, May still has Bowser’s backing. In her latest campaign finance report, she reported raising more than $90,000, including $500 from Bowser herself. Meanwhile, White, who styled himself as Trayon “WardEight” White in last year’s special election, has been busy, too. He joined Attorney General Karl Racine’s office as a community relations worker, a job that matched neatly with Racine’s own political antagonism with Bowser. White hasn’t declared himself a candidate yet, but he’s since left Racine’s office, a likely prelude to a run for office thanks to Hatch Act rules that bar government employees from launching political campaigns. When I asked White whether he was going to run, he avoided the question, but people close to him tag his candidacy as a certainty. Since narrowly losing last year, White has won over several of his former special election opponents, including Marion C. Barry, the late mayor’s son. But White doesn’t just have some activists in
Ward 8 behind him this time. He’s backed by Racine, who doesn’t quite have mayoral fundraising powers, but can use his white-shoe law firm background to open checkbooks across the city for his candidates. White supporters say his association with Racine, which was limited to a last-minute endorsement in the special election, has expanded White’s reach in campaign season. So 2016 might look like a lot like 1996 in Ward 8. This time, though, the incumbent isn’t the only candidate with support from higher office.
AT-LARGE
The 2014 mayoral election did not go Vincent Orange’s way, to put it lightly. Orange turned his unlikely second campaign for mayor into a celebration of all things Orange—backers were treated to a blowout launch party at Gallaudet University, complete with paeans to even minor branches of the Orange family— but voters weren’t as thrilled. Orange came in fifth, behind Bowser, Gray, two other councilmembers, and a restaurateur with no previous experience running for office. It was the culmination of a two-year arc: Orange was busted trying to help a campaign donor’s store avoid a health department shutdown; prosecutors subpoenaed that donor’s records; and Orange was named in federal court as the recipient of an illicit “shadow campaign.” His political fortunes were at the lowest point since his failed 2006 mayoral campaign.
Now, though, Orange is the frontrunner for the campaign for his at-large seat, thanks to a divided field and a new alliance with former rival Bowser. For a longtime District pol, Orange doesn’t have a history of convincing wins. In 2011, he won the special election for his seat with less than 30 percent of the vote. In 2012, he held onto it with 42 percent, while the combined votes of two ideologically simpatico Orange challengers nearly equaled 50 percent. With a less-than-perfect ethical slate and a record of comical ideas that don’t come to much (at least until his long-awaited RFK-area water park finally opens), Orange looks like the ideal target. Fortunately for Orange, he’s already attracted some candidates to split the vote against him. David Garber looks like a caricature of the kind of candidate Orange is used to defeating. A white real estate analyst turned blogger turned substitute teacher, Garber launched his campaign at Maketto, the hip H Street NE spot that describes itself as a “communal marketplace and lifestyle brand.” Not since tony Georgetown Councilmember Jack Evans launched his campaign at Logan Circle’s Le Diplomate has there been a more appropriate match between candidate and location. Garber has been going hard on Orange’s ethical record, and it’s apparently paying off. He’s raised more than $100,000 so far, a lot of contributions for a first-time candidate. If Orange were only facing Garber, he might have a more serious race on his hands. But he’s
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 13
also running against Robert White, who came in third in 2014 for the at-large seat reserved for non-Democrats. White, who used to work in Karl Racine’s Office of the Attorney General, has hired his former boss’ old campaign team. In an interview on WAMU, he claimed Orange’s time has come and gone. I asked White whether he’ll win endorsements from councilmembers this cycle, since he’s running against a sitting one. “I don’t think the incumbent has a lot of support on the Council,” White says. For his part, Racine says he didn’t hire Robert and Trayon White with an eye toward building his own bloc on the Council. But Robert White has been pulling significant fundraising anyway, reporting more than $64,000 on Monday. That’s a hefty war chest, albeit not as much as Orange’s $180,000. Orange isn’t raising all that money on his own. In the past year, he struck a deal with Bowser’s Green Team political set, prompting her to declare him “our friend on the Council” at a press conference. Bowser’s supporters are paying him back with contributions. Last week, ahead of the deadline to report new contributions numbers, Orange attended a spree of fundraisers, including one co-hosted by Bowser Ward 8 supporter (and occasion-
al scandal figure) Phinis Jones. As of this writing, Gray—Orange’s sometimes foe, sometimes ally—had not officially chosen a race. “On the one hand, there is the path of least resistance to victory," says one person familiar with Gray's plans, referring to Ward 7. "On the other hand, there is Gray's profound disdain for Vincent Orange." But the former mayor has a more attractive race waiting for him east of the Anacostia River. And an ever-growing chorus of quotes and confirmations—all on background to media outlets around the city—certainly point away from an at-large showdown.
WARD 7
Heat from a federal investigation couldn’t stop Yvette Alexander from endorsing Gray’s reelection hours after he announced it in 2013. She owed him big, after all—Gray’s endorsement had once helped propel her into her current seat. After all that history, you might expect her to be happy that her old mentor won’t face federal criminal charges. Not quite. “I guess that’s good news for him,” a wary Alexander said hours after prosecutors announced the end of the Gray campaign inves-
14 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
tigation. “It’s never good news when someone is found guilty of a crime.” A lot has changed since 2013. After seeing her one-time patron beaten in the Democratic primary by Bowser, Alexander moved away from Gray. As Gray’s mayoralty stumbled through a whopping nine-month lame duck period, Alexander helped chop up his remaining legislative priorities, including funding for a new hospital on the eastern side of the Anacostia River. After being one of Gray’s most reliable Council allies, she’s switched to Bowser’s Green Team and the fundraising prowess that comes with it. “I’m supporting the Green Team,” Alexander says. “I’m Team Alexander, but I support the Bowser administration.” At the Ward 5 community meeting, held a day after the Washington NFL team lost in the playoffs, Gray lamented the “raw deal” given to once-promising quarterback Robert Griffin III. A career cut short by powers beyond his control? Gray might know something about that. Unlike Robert Griffin III, though, Gray has a good chance. A poll funded by a political action committee created by Gray supporters suggests that he could beat Alexander or Orange, but that he would win by a larger margin in Ward 7. If Gray gets into the race, he won’t need to
worry about anyone other major candidates splitting his vote against Alexander. Former University of Southern California football player Delmar Chesley has failed so far with his Hail Mary of a campaign, raising just $1,000 so far. D.C. Democratic State Committee bigwig Ed Potillo faced better odds at first. In October, Potillo launched his campaign at a Ward 7 bed and breakfast, promising to bring new leadership to the ward (Alexander’s challengers love to gripe about an undefined lack of leadership). Since then, though, he’s lost a campaign consultant and pulled in some dismal fundraising totals. As of Monday, Potillo’s campaign had raised less than $15,000—not exactly enough money to beat Alexander, or keep a certain exmayor out of the race. If Gray gets into the Ward 7 race, his candidacy will offer Bowser a choice between a pliable incumbent or one of her most dedicated foes in the Council seat. But Ward 7 Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner Gary Butler, no fan of Alexander, is already over the rivalry. “Me personally, I think it’s time to move past Vince Gray,” Butler says. The question for Ward 7 is how many voters agree with Butler—and what that means for the CP future of the Bowser administration.
COMPETITION ROOMS
CORPORATE TEAM BUILDING
DuPont Circle
Teams of 2 up to 35
with one goal - getting out!
TATTOO PARADISE ADAMS MORGAN, DC 2444 18th St. NW Washington DC 20009 202.232.6699
WHEATON, MD
2518 W. University Blvd. Wheaton, MD 20902 301.949.0118
THE ONLY TATTOO SHOP IN ADAMS MORGAN THAT MATTERS
tattooparadisedc.com myspace.com/tattooparadise
DID YOU KNOW? You may qualify for assistance in paying your home phone bill. Discounts for basic telephone service are available to eligible District of Columbia low-income residents.
Verizon Washington, D.C. Lifeline Plans: ? Verizon Washington, D.C.’s Lifeline service, known as “Economy II,” offers reduced rates on Verizon’s monthly telephone bill and one-time discounts on the cost of installing phone service. Additionally, toll blocking is r assistance in paying available to Economy II customers at your no charge. home phone bill. Discounts Economy II Service*: $3.00 per monthto for unlimited local calling. Value-added services not included (e.g., e service are available eligible District of are Columbia Call Waiting, Caller ID). No connection charges apply. Also, customers will not be charged for the federal subscriber line charge. Economy II customers who are 65 years of age or older can have this service at a further nts. reduced rate of $1.00 per month. * Full terms and rates for these services, including terms of eligibility, are as set forth in federal and in Verizon’s tariffs on file with the Public Service Commission of the District of Columbia. All rates, terms and conditions included in this notice are subject to change and are current at the time of printing.
ifeline Plans: ifeline service, known as “Economy II,” offers reduced rates on Verizon’s monthly Eligibility: Districtcost residents have been certified by theservice. Additionally, toll blocking is available to iscounts on the ofwho installing phone Washington, DC Lifeline Program as eligible may apply Restrictions: charge. for the Economy II program. To apply, schedule an
✓ No other working telephone service at the same location appointment with the Washington, DC Lifeline Program by ✓ No additional phone lines calling 1-800-253-0846. Households in which one or more ✓ No Foreignare Exchange Foreign Zone service per month forindividuals unlimited local calling. services notor included (e.g., Call are receiving benefits from one Value-added of the following ✓ No bundles or packages public assistance programs or have an annual income ction charges apply. Also, customers will not be charged for the federal subscriber line that is 150% or below the Federal Poverty Guideline may ✓ No outstanding unpaid final bills eligible. of age or older can have this service s who are 65be years a match further rate of ✓ Bill nameat must eligiblereduced participant ✓ Food stamps ✓ No separate Lifeline discount on cellular or wireless ✓ Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) phone service ✓ Supplemental Security Income ✓ Business lines are not eligible Low Income Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP) ncluding terms of ✓ eligibility, areHome as set forth in federal and in Verizon’s tariffs on file with must the Public Service Commission of the ✓ Phone number match eligible participant ✓ Federal Public Housing Assistance (Section 8) Must be aofcurrent Verizon customer or establish new onditions included✓ in this notice are subject to change and are current at ✓the time printing. Medicaid service with Verizon ✓ National School Lunch Programs (Free Lunch Program)
Contact Washington, DC Lifeline Program at 1-800-253-0846 to apply To learn more about the Restrictions: Lifeline program, visit www.lifelinesupport.org. en certified by the Washington, DC P No other working telephone service at the ay apply for the Economy II program. same location ment with the Washington, DC Lifeline P No additional phone lines 0846. Households in which one or P No Foreign Exchange or Foreign Zone benefits from one of the following service have an annual income that is 150% P No bundles or packages Guideline may be eligible. P No outstanding unpaid final bills P Bill name must match eligible participant Needy Families (TANF) P No separate Lifeline discount on cellular or come
Economy II is a Lifeline supported service. Lifeline is a government assistance program. Only eligible consumers may enroll. You may qualify for Lifeline service if you can show proof that you participate in certain government assistance programs or your annual income (gross and from all sources) is at or below 150% of the Federal Poverty Guideline. If you qualify based on income, you will be required to provide income verification. Proof of participation in a government assistance program requires your current or prior year’s statement of benefits from a qualifying state or federal program; a notice letter or other official document indicating your participation in such a program; and/or another program participation document (for example, benefit card). Proof of income requires your prior year’s state or federal tax return; current income statement from an employer or paycheck stub; a statement of Social Security, Veterans Administration, retirement, pension, or Unemployment or Workmen’s Compensation benefits; a federal notice letter of participation in General Assistance; a divorce decree; a child support award; and/or another official document containing income information. At least three months of data is necessary when showing proof of income. In addition, the Lifeline program is limited to one discount per household, consisting of either wireline or wireless service. You are required to certify and agree that no other member of the household is receiving Lifeline service from Verizon or another communications provider. Lifeline service is a non-transferable benefit. Lifeline customers may not subscribe to certain other services, including other local telephone service. Consumers who willfully make false statements in order to obtain the Lifeline benefit can be punished by fine or imprisonment, or can be barred from the program.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 15
VOTED TOP 100 BEER BARS IN THE USA! DISCOVER 600+ BEERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD!
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
4–7 PM Monday through Friday ANY DRAFT & A BURGER JUST TEN BUCKS
1000+
BEERS
WESTOVER MARKET
• Groceries • Wines from Around the World • Butcher Shop • Great Beer Selection • Open for Sunday Brunch from 9-2
OPENING SOON
With a butcher shop & great beer selection, we are your Beer & BBQ Headquarters!
Music in Beer Garden Wednesdays, BEER GARDEN & HAUS Fridays, and Saturdays IS NOW OPEN! 5863 Washington Blvd | Arlington, VA 703-536-5040 | westovermarket.com 16 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
DCFEED
The Duke’s Grocery team is opening Duke’s Counter in Woodley Park, and you’ll finally be able to get fries with your burger. Read more at washingtoncitypaper.com/go/dukes.
YOUNG & HUNGRY
Dinner Engagement Behind the scenes of D.C. restaurant marriage proposals Some people really do want the ring in the food. Equinox co-owner Ellen Kassoff Gray has witnessed at least a few hundred proposals in her restaurant over the last 16 years. She doesn’t recommend it, but people still ask the staff to present the engagement ring in a dessert or glass of Champagne. The restaurant won’t bake jewelry into a chocolate cake, but they will place it atop a slice. “We do it so that they see it, because we really don’t want anybody swallowing that,” she says. A server or manager is usually standing close by “to make sure that there’s a timely reaction to the foreign object in their food.” With Valentine’s Day around the corner, restaurants will no doubt be filled with more “will you marry me?” cliches, even though Christmastime and spring are more often regarded as proposal season in the restaurant industry. What’s a once-in-a-lifetime moment for most is a relatively routine part of some establishments’ operations. Still, dealing with a proposal from the restaurant’s end can sometimes require much more than Champagne. 1789 Restaurant in Georgetown sees engagements as often as once or twice a month. General Manager Richard Kaufman admits it’s a little nerve-racking: “Everyone knows, they’re watching this guy; He looks nervous, but the girl doesn’t know. We’re making sure nobody spills the beans.” Kaufman says they once came close to a spoiling a proposal when a server blurted out “congratulations” before the guy actually popped the question. In almost all cases, restaurants are tipped off in advance that a proposal is coming. But Trummer’s on Main co-owner Victoria Trummer says it’s useful to know at which point in the meal it’s going to happen. She recalls one guy who requested that two glasses of Champagne to be served once he proposed. But during the cou-
ple’s dinner, the staff couldn’t tell if he’d made the move or not. “There was never any glee or big kiss or anything, so we didn’t know when it happened. We literally had no idea. Maybe she said ‘no,’ then we don’t want to bring the Champagne out,” Trummer says. Finally, Trummer went to the table to pour water and looked down to see the ring on her finger. “Usually when there’s a proposal, everybody knows. Sometimes the whole restaurant claps because she squeals or he gets on his knee.” Trummer says the earlier someone can give them warning, the better, especially if they have specific requests or want a prime table. In fact, some fine dining restaurants have proposal tables—specific seats that are almost always dedicated for soon-to-be-engaged couples. At Marcel’s, which sees two to three proposals a month, maître d’ Adnane Kebaier usually has a private corner table in mind. But there are exceptions: “If I feel at the door that probably she’s going to say ‘yes,’ and they look happy and everything, I put them where people can see that. Because most of the people they want to enjoy the applause for them,” he says. Sometimes, Kebaier will even take a video of the proposal on his phone to later send to the couple. Other couples apparently like to bring their own crew to document the big moment. At 1789, Kaufman recalls once hiding a couple’s friends so that they could film the proposal. “We had to coordinate timing with them so pretty much the moment he did it, they could come into the dining room with a video camera,” Kaufman says. “It wasn’t as smooth as you might hope.” Things went f ar smoother at Trummer’s On Main, where one guy arranged for a photographer and three-piece band at his proposal last year. Victoria Trummer says the proposal took place on the balcony of the Clifton, Va. restaurant; the photographer was hidden away until Lauren Heneghan
By Jessica Sidman
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 17
KRAMERBOOKS
UPCOMING EVENTS
Tues. 2/9 at 6:30pm Washington’s Monument John Steele Gordon Wed. 2/10 at 6:30pm Just Medicine Dayna Bowen Matthew Mon. 2/15 at 6:30pm Love Her, Love Her Not: The Hillary Paradox Joanne Bamberger Tues. 2/16 at 6:30pm Georgia Dawn Tripp in conversation with Bethanne Patrick Wed. 2/17 at 6:30pm Wild by Nature Sarah Marquis Mon. 2/22 at 6:30pm Piece of Mind Michelle Adelman Tues. 2/23 at 6:30pm Blood Brothers Randy Roberts
1517 CONNECTICUT AVE. NW 202.387.1400 // KRAMERS.COM 18 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
DCFEED(cont.) they were in position, and as soon as she said “yes,” the band came out to perform. “I’ll never forget this guy. He was so nervous, so excited. He wore this really cute suit with a bowtie,” she says. Overall though, most restaurant proposals aren’t too crazy or elaborate. (They decided to propose in a restaurant, after all.) Restaurant Eve and PX co-owner Todd Thrasher says the most elaborate one he’s seen was from a guy who rented out the entire front room of PX and decorated it with dozens of white roses and candles. Another time, at Restaurant Eve, a man put the ring in a box buried under what looked like $1,000 worth of scratch-off lotto tickets. More often than you might expect, the person proposing entrusts the ring into the hands of the restaurant staff for the grand reveal. Kebaier says people will sometimes bring their ring to the restaurant as early as
and-switch proposal that was meant to trick the would-be bride into thinking she was at the restaurant for a birthday party. Dysart made one birthday cake for the couple’s friend, and as he blew out the candles, the staff brought out a second cake that said “Will you marry me?” Rejections are fairly rare. Thrasher recalls just one proposal gone bad in Restaurant Eve’s nearly 12 years: “There was a discussion, tears were shed by both people, and they asked for the check. And the ring never made it to the finger.” Similarly, Kebaier remembers only one failed proposal in his 17 years at Marcel’s. The couple actually laughed it off—and they’ve since gotten married and still return to the restaurant together. Other times, a diner might write in an OpenTable note that they are planning to propose, but then nothing happens. Dys-
“Every time they give us the ring, I feel like it’s a sitcom setup.” a day or two in advance, and he’ll hold it in the office safe. When it’s time, Kebaier likes to put the ring on a nice plate, cover it with a cloche, and present it between dinner and dessert, as if it’s an extra course from the chef (complete with fork and knife to build the illusion). “Every time they give us the ring, I feel like it’s a sitcom setup,” says 2941 Pastry Chef Caitlin Dysart, who’s often tasked with placing the ring on a dessert. She tries to make the diamond as visible as possible so there’s no mistaking that it’s there. To avoid getting the ring dirty and sticky, she typically places it on a raspberry or some kind of decorative chocolate. “I’m not going to put it on any ice cream or mousse,” Dysart says. Chocolate desserts are usually the sweets of choice for the sparkling garnish, although Dysart recently made a croquembouche (a pyramid of pastry balls) for a proposal at the Falls Church eatery. One of her more highly coordinated tasks involved a bait-
art remembers waiting for a guy to pop the question one time at 2941—and then he ordered a cheese plate. “I was like, ‘Nope, not happening,’” Dysart says. “That’s a bad sign. That’s not romantic.” Kassoff Gray finds there’s a certain type of person who proposes in a fine dining restaurant. They’re often hopeless romantics and sometimes “a little bit on the cheesy side— we can’t get away from that.” But as much as Kassoff Gray sometimes wants to roll her eyes at some of the cliches, she and her staff can’t help get sucked into the love too. “It makes everybody have a great night at work, and what’s wrong with that?” she says. Plus, those people often come back year after year for anniversaries—and other occasions. “The babies coming back are the best,” CP Kassoff Gray says. Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to jsidman@washingtoncitypaper.com.
DCFEED
what we ate last week:
Arepas with braised lamb neck and salsa verde, $10, Compass Rose. Satisfaction level: 4 out of 5 what we’ll eat next week:
Parsnip gnocchi with crab, cherry tomatoes, and spinach, $17, Hank’s Pasta Bar. Excitement level: 4 out of 5
Grazer
Extra
, Please
Valentine’s Day brings out more gimmicks than pretty much any other holiday. And restaurants and bars love a good gimmick. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, here are some options for embracing themed menu specials and terrible puns, ranked from moderately to extremely cheesy. —Jessica Sidman
ExtrEmEly ChEEsy The Daily Dish: “It’s Not You, It’s Me” singles happy hour includes stinky breath dishes like garlic and anchovy flatbread and “Shot Through the Heart” shots of tequila.
Bar Pilar: Anti-Valentine’s Day specials include offal food specials (beef tongue pastrami sliders, duck offal ramen) plus bitter and sour drinks.
Café Dupont: Oysters, Burgundy-braised short ribs, and raspberry cheesecake make their way onto a $65 aphrodisiac-themed menu.
Are you gonnA eAt that?
brew in town
Where to Get It: Buredo, 825 14th St. NW; (202) 670-6770; eatburedo.com Price: $10.75 What It Is: A supersized sushi roll with apple-broccoli-broccoleaf juice pulp from
Where in Town: D’Vines, 3103 14th St. NW Price: $23.99/750 mL
Buffalo & Bergen: A $40, four-drink “Lover’s Delight, Cocktails at Night Menu” features the “What Came First” cocktail with mezcal, candied grapefruit, and “pink love.”
McClellan’s Retreat: Get a free glass of punch if you can prove you’re on a first date, blind date, or Tinder date.
Moderately ChEEsy
Jrink Juicery as its star ingredient. The vegan roll is also stuffed with shredded carrot, shredded raw butternut squash, avocado, edamame, wasabi pea crunch, and a sweet and spicy sauce.
The Dish: Tanaka roll
Schlafly The Eleventh Labor
Vendetta: For $35, lock lips over “Lady and the Tramp-style” pasta for two, which includes Champagne and tiramisu.
What It Tastes Like: The juice pulp looks kind of like salad that’s been chewed up and spit out with a texture that’s simultaneously mushy and gristly. On its own, it has a faint apple taste. Combined with the other (equally mild) ingredients, the sweet and spicy sauce provides the predominant flavor. The Story: Buredo owners Mike Haddad and Travis Elton were interested in collaborating with Jrink Juicery because of their like-mindedness and similar clientele. The
local juice brand has a lot of byproduct left over from cold-pressing fruits and vegetables, and both parties liked the idea of reducing waste by putting that pulp to use. The Jrink team describes their fiber-rich ingredient as “almost a secondary rice component, while adding a subtle freshness to the overall flavor.” Haddad and Elton experimented with a number of veggie combinations and also developed a new veganfriendly sauce for the roll. “We have a pretty huge demand from vegans. They’re always coming in and modifying their rolls so they can feel good about eating it,” Haddad says. The Buredo team plans to open a second location in Dupont Circle this spring with more collaborations to come. —Jessica Sidman
Not Your Father(land)’s Beer Last March, St. Louis-based Schlafly Beer released a French saison called Lazy Ballerina, the first in the “Ibex” series of more experimental, typically taproom-only beers. The second installment, The Eleventh Labor, arrived in D.C. this winter. The name is a broad reference to Hercules’ quest to steal golden apples from Zeus. Although the style, a Berliner Weisse, is traditionally served with a sweet syrup meant to balance out the beer’s tart flavor, Schlafly’s version relies on a purée of fresh apricots to achieve the same result. This alteration would surely be regarded as a sacrilege in Berlin’s tradition-obsessed beer halls, but it goes down mighty well stateside. Tarty Time The apricots (62 pounds per barrel, to be exact) are immediately evident in the beer’s aroma, along with notes of citrus rind and doughy bread. Fruit also features prominently in the taste, which is bright and a bit salty. The style’s inherent acidity still shows through—despite the sweetness of the apricots—but isn’t overpowering. Light-bodied, effervescent, and only 4.2 percent alcohol, The Eleventh Labor is perhaps better suited to a warm summer night than ice and snow. But either way, it’s a delicious brew that’s well worth seeking out. I spotted it on draft at Meridian Pint last month, but kegs of this limited release are scarce. You’ll have better luck scoring a beautiful, wax-sealed bottle of this apricot ale at a specialty shop like D’Vines in Co—Tammy Tuck lumbia Heights.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 19
Food & Drink Best Alcoholic Punch Best Asian Restaurant Best Bagel Best Bakery Best Bar Best Bar with Games Best BBQ Best Beer Festival Best Bloody Mary Best Boozy Milkshake Best Brunch Best Burger Best Chef Best Chinese Best Cocktail Bar Best Coffee Shop Best Crabcake Best Craft Beer Selection Best Cupcake Best Distillery Best Dive Bar Best Doughnuts Best Downtown Lunch Best Ethiopian Restaurant Best Falafal Best Fast Casual Dining Best Food Blog Best Food Truck Best Fried Chicken Best Gay Bar/Club Best Gelato Best Gluten-Free Menu Best Hangover Breakfast Best Happy Hour Best Ice Cream Shop Best Indian Restaurant Best Irish Pub Best Italian Restaurant Best Japanese Best Kabob Best Kid-Friendly Restaurant Best Korean Best Late Night Eats Best Latin American Restaurant Best Local Brewery Best Brew Pub Best Macaron Best Margarita Best Middle Eastern Restaurant
Best Mixologist Best Modern American Restaurant Best Mussels Best Neighborhood Bar Best New Bar Best New Restaurant Best Pho Best Pie Best Pizza Best Place to Have Dinner with Live Music Best Restaurant Best Restaurant When Someone Else Pays Best Restaurant When You Pay Best Restaurant with a View Best Restaurant with Delivery Best Rooftop Bar Best Sandwich Best Seafood Best Singles Bar Best Slice of Pizza Best Small Plates Best Soul Food Best Spice Shop Best Sports Bar Best Steak House Best Tater Tots Best Thai Restaurant Best Trivia Bar Best Vegan/Vegetarian Restaurant Best Vietnamese Best Wine Bar Best Wine List Best Wings Best Whiskey Selection Best Yogurt/Smoothie
Arts & Entertainment Best Art Class Best Art Gallery Best Arts and Culture Non-Profit Best Arts Blog Best Arts Festival Best Comedy Venue Best Commercial Art Gallery Best Cultural Festival
Dear Readers of Washington City Paper:
Best Photography Services
Best Drag King
Best Pilates Studio
We care what you think. Really, we do. We ask you again
Best Elementary School
Best Place to Buy a Car
for your favorite haunts, your favorite bartender, your
Best Place to Buy Beer
Best Place to Buy a Suit
Best Embassy Event Best Graduate Program
favorite vegetarian joint, your fa-
Best Place to Buy Candy
Best High School
Best Place to Buy Eyeglasses
Best Hotel
vorite bike shop, and, of course,
Best Place to Buy Fur Handcuffs
Best House of Worship
best local band. Let’s celebrate
Best Place to Buy Home Furnishings
D.C. Let’s define what we love most about living here. Let’s Vote.
Best DJ Best Festival Best Film Festival Best Go-Go Band Best Hip-Hop Night Best Jazz Jam Session Best Jazz/Blues Venue Best Karaoke Best Local Cover Band Best Local Original Band Best Local Hip-Hop Artist Best Movie Theater Best Museum off the Mall Best Museum on the Mall Best Music Festival Best Music Venue Best Neighborhood Festival Best Night Club Best Outdoor Movie Series Best Outdoor Venue Best Performance Artist Best Performing Arts Venue Best Place to See Local Music Best Radio Station Best Recording Studio Best Recreational Sports League Best Singer Best Strip Club Best Theater Company Best Theater Festival Best Visual Artist
Goods & Services Best Alcohol Delivery
Best Architecture Firm Best Arts & Crafts Supply Store Best Running Store Best Bank/ Credit Union Best Barre Studio Best Bike Shop Best Book Store Best Bus to New York Best Cable Provider Best Car Share Service Best Carpet Cleaners Best Cell Phone Provider Best Child Care Best Children’s Clothing Store Best Clothing Boutique Best Consignment Shop Best Contractor Best Crossfit Gym Best Dance Class Best Dentist Best Doctor Best Dog Walk Service Best Doggie Daycare Best Dry Cleaner Best Event Venue Best Eye Doctor Best Facial Best Farmers Market Best Flea Market Best Flower Shop Best Food Market Best Food Delivery Service Best Garden Store Best Green Business Best Grocer
Best Life Coach
Best Place to Buy Jewelry
Best Local Sports Player
Best Place to Buy Vinyl
Best Gym Best Hair Salon Best Hair Stylist Best Handmade Accessories Best Handmade Clothing Best Handmade EcoFriendly Products Best Handmade Home Decor
Account
Best Place to Buy Instruments
Best Place to Buy Wine Best Dance Company
Best Local Instagram
Best Local Crafter Best Local Sports Team
Best Place to Get a Tan
Best Middle School
Best Place to Get Waxed
Best Mixed-Use
Best Place to Get Your Bike Fixed
Development
Best Place to Get Your Car Serviced
To Go Out In
Best Place to Get Your Cracked Phone Screen Fixed
To Live In
Best Plastic Surgeon
Best Neighborhood Best Neighborhood Best New Condos Best News Anchor
Best Handmade Products for Kids
Best Plumber
Best Handyman
Best Real Estate Group
Best Hardware Store
Best Ride Share
Best Place to Find a
Best Home Goods Store
Best Roofers
One-Night Stand
Best Hospital
Best Shoe Repair
Best Place to Take an
Best Indoor Cycling Studio
Best Shoe Store
Out-of-Towner
Best Lawyer
Best Spa
Best Lifestyle Blog
Best Place to Take
Best Specialty Food Store
Best Liquor Store
a Tinder Date
Best Storage Company
Best Makeup Artist
Best Tailor
Best Mani/Pedi
Best Tattoo Parlor
Best Marijuana Cultivation Supplier
Best Tea Shop
Best Travel Agent Best Preschool
Best Martial Arts Classes
Best Therapeutic Massage Best Thrift Store
Best Property
Best Vet
Management Company
Best Vintage Clothing Store
Best Radio Personality
Best Med- Spa Best Men’s Grooming Lounge Best Movers Best Music Lessons Best Organic Food Delivered to Your Door
Best Real Estate Agent
Best Wireless Provider Best Yoga Instructor Best Yoga Studio Best Apartment Building
Best Nonprofit Best Place to Day Trip
Best Place to Volunteer Best Pool with a Bar
Best Real Estate Developer Best Residential Builder Best Restaurant to Bang
Best Charity Event
in the Bathroom
Best College/University
Best Shared Working
Best Personal Trainer
People & Places
Environment
Best Pest Control
BBest Columnist
Best Pet Services
Best Community Blog
Best Sports Coach
Best Pet Shop
Best Drag Queen
Best Summer Camp
Best Painter Best Pawn Shop
Best Shopping Center
GO TO WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM/BESTOFPOLL 20 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
CITYPAPER WASHINGTON
PRESENTS
BUY TICKETS NOW!
HECHT WAREHOUSE • 1400 NEW YORK AVE. NE • FEBRUARY 6 • 10–7 washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 21
Did You Know? People Living with Intellectual, Developmental and Other Disabilities in DC and VA Have Many Faces.
Join SJCS! Become A Volunteer! Help assist those individuals we support with securing employment, housing and both social and recreational opportunities. Help them achieve the same dreams just like you and I. For more information, contact SJCS at (202) 274-3454 or visit our office at 2201 Wisconsin Avenue NW, Suite C-120, Washington DC 20007 ADVANCING COMMUNITY SUPPORT AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH DISABILITIES
1535 7th St. NW Washington, DC ~ www.compasscoffee.com
TICKETS ON SALE NOW! WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM/EVENTS
INTRODUCING
SAAM Creatives! A new membership group for young professionals. Special programs, after-hours parties, behind-the-scenes tours, and a chance to support the museum. Join now! AmericanArt.si.edu/saamcreatives Smithsonian American Art Museum Smithsonian American Art Museum | 8th and G Streets, NW Renwick Gallery | Pennsylvania at 17th Street, NW Photo by Tony Powell
Seeing Nature
Landscape Masterworks
from the Paul G. Allen Family Collection FEBRUARY ��MAY �, ����
The exhibition is co-organized by Portland Art Museum, Seattle Art Museum, and the Paul G. Allen Family Collection.
��TH ANNIVERSARY 1600 21st Street, �� (Dupont Circle Metro) PhillipsCollection.org |
This exhibition is supported by an indemnity from the Federal Council on the Arts and the Humanities. Vulcan Inc. has also provided generous in-kind support. Additional in-kind support is provided by
Thomas Moran, Grand Canyon of Arizona at Sunset, 1909. Oil on canvas, 30 x 40 in. Paul G. Allen Family Collection
22 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
Crafty Bastards
CABIN FEVER PRESENTED BY
DFASDFASDAFS
SATURDAY, FEB. 6, 2016 | 10 A.M. – 7 P.M. | HECHT WAREHOUSE
Welcome to Crafty Bastards Cabin Fever, the first winter edition of D.C.’s favorite art festival, produced by Washington City Paper. The white stuff dumped on us by #snowzilla has melted, and it’s the perfect time to get out and cure your cabin fever by shopping for wonderful creations from talented artists. The second floor of Hecht Warehouse will be brimming with hand-crafted treasures and giftable goods. Pick up something for your sweetheart, your galentines, the kiddos, and your four-legged friends. Most importantly, don’t forget to treat yourself. Whether looking for a new favorite coffee mug, a statement piece of jewelry, something for your wardrobe, cards with messages you actually want to send, or the newest addition to your art collection, you can find it at Crafty Bastards. Be sure to check out the fantastic Cabin Fever mural by local artist Kelly Towles, located near the entrance. We suggest you snap some selfies and share your #CraftyCabinFever. Shopping can be hard work, so Brewery Ommegang and Buredo are ready to keep you fueled up as you power through the festival. Several artists are selling tasty treats like locally made chocolate, prize-winning baked goods, and coldbrewed coffee. Want more? Head outside to grab something delicious from D.C.’s finest food trucks. Scratch that creative itch before and after your shopping session at the DIY tables. You can make a bouquet of tissue-paper flowers, try your hand at the button maker, create yarn pom-poms, or freestyle your own original project. Grab your pals and commemorate the occasion with group pictures from the Cabin Fever photo booth. Who wants to wear the Crafty head? We hope you have a blast at Cabin Fever and leave with some crafty gems. Thank you for joining us and supporting the creative community!
Brand New Loft Apartments Fresh Bars, Shops and Restaurants
—Sara Dick, festival director, Washington City Paper
SAVE THE DATE:
THE 13TH ANNUAL CRAFTY BASTARDS RETURNS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, OCT. 1 & 2
888.693.1589
hechtwarehouse.com
1401 New York Avenue NE Washington, DC 20002
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 23
crafty ARTS & CRAFTS FAIR bastards!
25 25
26 26
27 27
22 33 44
11 22 33 44 55 66 77 77 88 99 10 10 11 11 12 12 13 13 14 14 15 15 16 16 17 17 18 18 19 19 20 20 21 21 22 22 23 23 24 24 24 24 25 25 26 26 27 27 28 28 29 29 30 30 31 31 32 32 33 33 34 34 35 35 36 36 37 37 38 38 39 39 40 40 40 40 41 41
Compass Compass Coffee Coffee Lewis Lewis & & Pine Pine Fritz Fritz & & Fraulein Fraulein Chez Chez Kevito Kevito Block Block Party Party Press Press 29 29 Bridges Bridges Studio Studio Fancy Fancy Seeing Seeing You You Here Here Grey Moggie Press Grey Moggie Press Jonathon Jonathon Wye Wye LLC LLC Long Long Dog Dog Dandy Dandy inedible inedible jewelry jewelry NateDuval.com NateDuval.com RaisaAntonia RaisaAntonia FuzzyMug FuzzyMug Tweet Tweet Stop Stop Buredo Buredo Spoil Spoil Me Me Rotten Rotten Dog Dog Biscuit Biscuit Co Co Winthrop Winthrop Clothing Clothing Co. Co. kitty kitty jones jones Foxwood Foxwood Co. Co. Printed Printed Wild Wild Metamorphosis Metamorphosis Metals Metals The The Neighborgoods Neighborgoods Hoist Hoist Away Away Bags Bags Foamy Foamy Wader Wader Ugly Ugly Baby Baby JAY JAY MCCARROLL MCCARROLL Elaine Elaine BB Jewelry Jewelry Kuzeh Kuzeh Pottery Pottery Maryink Maryink The The Lemon Lemon Bowl Bowl Collective Collective Kicheko Goods Kicheko Goods Florescent Florescent DeNada DeNada Harper Harper Macaw Macaw Upshur Upshur Street Street Books Books Dirty Dirty Ass Ass Soaps Soaps Kelly Kelly Towles Towles Framebridge Framebridge Alternate Alternate Histories Histories Hellrazor Hellrazor for for Men Men Fisticuffs Fisticuffs Leather Leather Spaghetti Spaghetti Kiss Kiss DespicableWe DespicableWe
42 42 43 43 43 43 44 44 45 45 46 46 47 47 48 48 49 49 50 50 51 51 52 52 53 53 54 54 55 55 56 56 57 57 58 58 59 59 60 60 61 61 62 62 63 63 64 64 65 65 66 66 67 67 68 68 69 69 71 71 72 72 73 73 74 74 75 75 76 76 77 77 78 78 79 79 80 80 81 81 82 82 83 83 84 84 85 85
24 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
VENDORS
John John W. W. Fesken Fesken 77 Ton Ton Co. Co. christina christina boy boy design design Delanco Delanco Hat Hat Company Company Wooden Wooden Pencil Pencil Company Company Small Small Doses Doses of of Wonder Wonder Penny Penny & & Paul Paul Mirasa Mirasa Design Design Naked Naked Décor Décor St. St. John’s John’s Community Community Services Services Savvie Savvie Studio Studio phea phea jean jean Licorice Licorice Tree Tree Eilisain Eilisain Jewelry Jewelry Rider Rider Designs Designs red red prairie prairie press press Snarky Snarky Scouts Scouts SAAM SAAM Creatives Creatives Restaurants Restaurants Plus Plus by by Living Living Social Social megan auman megan auman North North End End Bag Bag Co. Co. Twenty Two Twenty Two West West Pure Pure Palette Palette Scents Scents UC UC Studios Studios Stronge Stronge Designs Designs Breathing Breathing Room Room Cavatica Cavatica Designs Designs SUMU-SU SUMU-SU Zooguu Zooguu The The Phillips Phillips Collection Collection Earth Earth Cadets Cadets 1.by.liz 1.by.liz Umsteigen Umsteigen Art Art Star Star On On the the Lookout Lookout Jewelry Jewelry Whisked! Whisked! Victory Victory Dance Dance Creative Creative T-WE TEA T-WE TEA matine matine MOTHERBORED MOTHERBORED Maple Maple and and Belmont Belmont Vaya Vaya Bags Bags Nguyên Nguyên Khôi Khôi Nguyên Nguyên Mint Mint Lola Lola
86 86 86 86 87 87 88 88 89 89 90 90 91 91 92 92 93 93 94 94 95 95 96 96 97 97 98 98 98 98 99 99 100 100 101 101 102 102 103 103 104 104 105 105 106 106 107 107 108 108
Mint Mint House House Tasha Tasha McKelvey McKelvey Junius Junius Cold Cold Brew Brew Coffee Coffee Co. Co. Rockets Rockets are are Red Red 60bugs 60bugs goshdarnknit goshdarnknit West West Oak Oak Design Design Handmade Handmade Habitat Habitat Greg Greg Stones Stones SNASH SNASH JEWELRY JEWELRY Joe Joe Engel Engel Nik Nik da da Pooh Pooh Designs Designs Stitch & Stitch & Rivet Rivet Open Open Eyes Eyes Press Press Yummy Yummy & & Company Company Herban Herban Lifestyle Lifestyle SwitchWood SwitchWood Chocolate Chocolate Moonshine Moonshine Langdon Langdon Wood Wood Maple Maple Syrup Syrup Magic Industrie Magic Industrie Cuddles Cuddles and and Rage Rage Sarah Sarah Cecelia Cecelia Jewelry Jewelry & & Metal Metal Goods Goods Gray Gray Dog Dog Woodworks Woodworks Marcella Marcella Kriebel Kriebel Art Art ++ Illustration Illustration Brewery Brewery Ommegang Ommegang
Lobby Lobby
Brewery Brewery Ommegang Ommegang DIY DIY Area Area Photobooth Photobooth Restrooms Restrooms Tickets Tickets VIP VIP Breakfast Breakfast
Outside Outside
Arepa Arepa Zone Zone Lemongrass Lemongrass Truck Truck DC DC Slices Slices
55
24 24
66
23 23
77
22 22
88
21 21
99
20 20
10 10
19 19
11 11 12 12 13 13 14 14
16 16
17 17
Elevators Elevator
Emergency Emergency Exit Exit
28 28
92 92
93 93
94 94
95 95
29 29
33
30 30
22
31 31
11
42 42
44 44
41 41
45 45
40 40
46 46
98 98
99 99
100 100
103 103
104 104
105 105
106 106
90 90
89 89
88 88
87 87
101 101
102 102
53 53
54 54
33 33
55 55
85 85 63 63
64 64
65 65
66 66 84 84
56 56
47 47 51 51
38 38
107 107
86 86
52 52 39 39
32 32
00
97 97
91 91
43 43
44
96 96
57 57
48 48
62 62
67 67
61 61
68 68
60 60
69 69
83 83 82 82 81 81
99
80 80 79 79 35 35
36 36
Stroller Valet 18 18
78 78
Cabi Entr n Fever ance & Ex it
77 77 76 76
72 72
73 73
74 74
75 75
Beer
s rs DIY Area Tickets
1401 New York Avenue, NE Washington, D.C.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 25
Vendor Sneak Peek Whether you’re shopping for your sWeetheart or looking to treat yourself, here’s a taste of What you’ll find during our crafting spectacular.
Magic Industrie
Cuddles & Rage
On the hunt for a fashionable way to carry your bills? Ryan Hansen upcycles vintage books into wallets that are both practical and unique. Place cash or a credit card in the center of the design and it will “magically” secure your items. Match a wallet to your personality type and know you a) saved books from a landfill b) will never have to try and think of a conversation starter ever again.
oramas, prints, and mini sculptures. Cuddles & Rage offers a range of merchandise at affordable price points, and their miniature sugar cookie heart magnets that are perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Hellrazor for Men Herban Lifestyle
Block Party Press
Meet a new type of statement necklace. These colorful, textured, approachable pieces are suitable for office or weekend wear and it will inevitably become the necklace you get the most compliments on every time you wear it. Self-taught artist Tamara Shea sketches her pendants, carves a stamp, cuts each element, and finishes by painting and distressing the piece. By the time you pick up one of her necklaces it’s been shown plenty of individual attention!
Hellrazor for Men
Hellrazor offers a variety of dapper products for men including beard oil, aftershave, and deodorant. This brand has a serious sense of humor, too. (Sample marketing language from the men’s shaving soap: “They’re ugly, but they work a hell of a lot better than whatever junk you’re probably using now.”) Hellrazor merchandise is handmade with natural ingredients by owner Christian, who is also a beard maintenance expert.
Herban Lifestyle
Mary Kearns is the visionary behind this handcrafted, organic bath and body company. Herban Lifestyle received Green Amer-
Cuddles & Rage
Liz and Jimmy Reed are the husband-andwife team behind the adorably saucy products of Cuddles & Rage. Together they have crafted a world of animal and food characters that share adventures in their comics, diBlock Party Press
26 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
ica’s certification as a sustainable company and Leaping Bunny’s certification as a cruelty-free business. Her products are made in small batches and include a variety of soaps, sugar scrubs, body butters, and creams. This year keep an eye out for her new DIY lip balm kits, which is essentially a Pinterest dream come true. The kit provides all necessary tools to make nourishing balms at home—all of the craft with none of the headache.
Snarky Scouts
Zooguu
Remember how you earned badges when you were a kid in Scouts? You can now get badges for #adulting, but this time it’s easier (you just buy them) and SO much more fun. Owner Molly Moran has researched and sourced vintage badges, then created modern-day narratives around the pictures. Give a badge to your BFF who got knocked up, your cousin who has perfected the art of twerking, or your boss who is continuously phoning it in.
Stitch & Rivet
Kuzeh Pottery
Kuzeh Pottery is a newcomer to Crafty Bastards. Their handmade pottery is inspired by Persian art and the pieces are known for their appealing design, functionality, and affordability. One of their most popular pieces is a small casserole dish. It’s durable for daily use, but is beautiful enough to be displayed in a kitchen as a piece of art.
Zooguu
Imagination is king at Zooguu. This handmade plush line is produced by husbandand-wife team Jen and Brian Gubicza. Jen’s background in graphic design sets the stage for creating and sewing the animals. Brian, an illustrator, cuts the patterns. Keep an eye out for their faux taxidermy, which is based on real and imagined creatures. These soft sculptures are a whimsical way to dress up a child’s room and can act as a jumping-off point for storytelling.
Stitch & Rivet
Stitch & Rivet is a handmade leather goods line known for its quality construction and elegant design. In addition to a variety of bags, this year owner Katie Stack brings a new product to Crafty—Nesting Pouches. These bags come in waxed canvas or leather and can fit inside each other. Buy them separately or as a 3-piece set. Stack was voted best local crafter by Washington City Paper readers in 2015. Kuzeh Pottery
Text by Kaarin Vembar
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 27
GET Crafty Bastards HERE! CABIN FEVER PRESENTED BY
Shuttles provided by Hecht Warehouse from NOMA Metro every 20 minutes! PARKING AVAILABLE across from the Hecht Warehouse in the MOM’s Organic Parking Structure off of Okie Street.
28 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
ADASDFASDFSFASDFASDFASDF
SATURDAY FEB. 6TH 10 AM – 7 PM
NEW LOCATION: HECHT WAREHOUSE 1401 New York Ave. NE Washington, DC
CPARTS
Avenue Q leads this year’s
Helen Hayes Awards nominations. washingtoncitypaper.com/go/helenhayes2016
THEATER
The Next Stage
TheatreWashington’s Aniello award identifies up-and-coming companies. Making an impression from the podium at the Helen Hayes Awards last April was no small feat. At the first ceremony after TheatreWashington—the organization that recognizes excellence in the D.C.-area theater community—had implemented a new policy of giving two awards in most categories to help non-Equity companies compete, presenters handed out a whopping 70 trophies— and winners got a mere 30 seconds for their acceptance speeches. The recipients’ sprints to the stage of the Lincoln Theatre to rip through their thank-yous turned the 2015 iteration of Washington’s 30-year-old “theater prom” into a bizarre athletic event. Still, Jason Schlafstein and Jonathan Ezra Rubin found a way to stand out in the chaos. Accepting the John Aniello Award for Outstanding Emerging Theatre Company, the producing artistic director and managing director, respectively, of Flying V Theatre performed a carefully rehearsed blast of banter before tearing open their shirts Clark Kent-style to reveal matching tees with the Flying V emblem on their chests. “Be awesome!” they urged their brethren. “I think a lot in terms of pro wrestling,” Schlafstein says. “You’ve got the curtain jerkers, the mid-card, and the main event. In D.C., you have the Fringe companies doing one show a year on a super-small budget. You have companies that have been around for five to 15 years, operating on a mid-size budget. And then you have the Equity houses that have been around for maybe 30-plus. The John Aniello Award was the moment the community decided that we’ve moved into that mid-card tier. We’re firmly established, and we’re sticking around.” First presented in 2008, the award is named for John Laurentzen Aniello Jr., who with his longtime partner, Victor Shargai, was a patron of D.C. performing arts organizations
The Aniello Award signaled that Flying V is “firmly established,” says Artistic Director Jason Schlafstein.
Darrow Montgomery
By Chris Klimek
for 40 years. Aniello died in 2006 at the age of 77. Shargai was an actor in New York when he and Aniello met in the early 1960s. Aniello moved to D.C. in the middle of that decade and Shargai joined him here a year later. “Washington was kind of deadly for theater” at the time, Shargai recalls. “It had the National, which had major pre-Broadway performances but little else. Arena was working. Folger existed. It was something that blossomed as we lived here, and [Aniello] really believed in the good of theater for the city.”
Shargai says that establishing an award in Aniello’s name after his death was then-TheatreWashington President Linda Levy’s idea, but it was one he endorsed wholeheartedly. Shargai chaired TheatreWashington’s board from 1998 until 2013, and he continues to run its seven-member Emerging Theatres Committee, which sees productions by Aniello-eligible companies and selects the winner. Current and emeritus committee members say their goal is to recognize companies that’ve demonstrated a combination of
artistic merit, professionalism, and staying power, but haven’t yet matured to the point where they’re contenders for the regular Helen Hayes Awards. Briefly, to be HHA-eligible, companies must pay their artists a minimum wage established by TheatreWashington, and productions must have a minimum of 16 public performances. Like the other Haysies, the Aniello is purely a honorific—there’s no monetary component. So what does winning an Aniello get you? A promotional peg, a nod of approval, and perhaps a leg up on the other companies begging for funding from largely the same pool of public and private sources. Companies’ “names resonate more once they receive the award,” says TheatreWashington President Amy Austin (who, full disclosure, was publisher of Washington City Paper for 30 years before taking that job last September, and now serves as publisher emeritus). Schlafstein has experienced that resonance firsthand. One of the Aniello’s immediate effects on Flying V was that other organizations came to them with offers of partnership, resulting in 2015 coproductions with the Hillyer Museum and Theater J. And Flying V’s show from last fall, the world premiere of Bekah Brunstetter’s The Oregon Trail, was the biggest hit in the company’s history. But before those quantifiable successes, there was the placebo effect of winning. “It re-inspired our artists,” Schlafstein says. “We suddenly had a rallying point.” Schlafstein knows for certain the imprimatur of the Aniello helped his company secure a $5,000 grant from Montgomery County, because he attended the committee meeting in which it was awarded. And Constellation Theatre Company, which has continued to flourish artistically in the seven years since it received the Aniello (as anyone who has seen its current production of Equus could tell you), still displays the award’s seal on the homepage of its website.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 29
CPARTS Continued
The general idea, according to Michael Kyrioglou, TheatreWashington’s theater services manager, is that once companies snag an Aniello, they “graduate” into contention for HHAs in the regular categories—acting, writing, direction, design, and so on. Previous Aniello winners fared well in this year’s 2016 HHA nominations, announced Monday night: Constellation earned a whopping 16, all but two of them for the R-rated puppet musical Avenue Q, the most-nominated show of the year. 2010 Aniello Award winner 1st Stage got a half-dozen nominations, 2011 winner No Rules got 3, and 2014 winner Pointless Theatre and Flying V each got their first two; A Faction of Fools, which won the Aniello in 2012, snagged one. The three nominees for the Aniello this year were drawn from a larger-than-usual pool of 10 companies performing on stages from Alexandria to Columbia, Md. To be eligible, a company must have applied to join TheatreWashington—which levies no dues on its member organizations but requires
them to certify that they have obtained the rights to the material they perform—and must have staged productions of not less than nine performances in two consecutive calendar years. In prior years, the Aniello Award recipient was simply announced; this is the first time the finalists among the eligible companies have been presented as nominees. They are: Arts on the Horizon, an Alexandria-based company devoted to programming for children up to age six; Pallas Theatre Collective, a company that focuses on new musicals and performs primarily at the Anacostia Arts Center; and The Welders—a group of already established playwrights and other artists who’ve pledged to turn over the leadership positions of their company to a new regime every three years. They’re already on their second class. Current and former members of the Emerging Theatres Committee are adamant that the Aniello recognizes a company’s ability to sustain quality over multiple productions rather than the likelihood that it re-
main viable financially in the long term. But they still hold out hope that a winner could become the next Taffety Punk or Constellation in 10 years—or in 20, the next Studio or Woolly Mammoth. But things don’t always work out that way. No Rules, one of 2011’s two winners, was founded in 2009 by a trio of University of North Carolina School of the Arts graduates: Anne Kohn, Joshua Morgan, and Brian Sutow. The company scored a hit with its inaugural production, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and followed that up with work by major contemporary playwrights like Neil LaBute and Sarah Ruhl. When Holly Twyford, one of the most respected actors in D.C., wanted to get into directing, she did her first show—a 2011 production of Diana Son’s Stop / Kiss— for No Rules. They even got something that eludes most new troupes for years: a fixed address, at Shirlington’s Signature Theatre. “Our growth was difficult to manage,” Morgan says. “Our budget quadrupled in two years.” Sutow moved to Indiana, and Kohn left for a position with the Shakespeare Theatre Company. By the summer of 2013, Morgan was running No Rules alone, at the same time his career as an actor was taking off. “I was the primary fundraiser,” he says, pointing out that keeping No Rules afloat was a 60-hour-a-week job—an unpaid one, after a time—on top of all his acting gigs. In 2015, the board voted to dissolve No Rules. Morgan says he cast the sole “nay” vote, because he didn’t think the company
should shut down while it still owed people money. But something happened to cushion the blow: He got a part in the first Broadway show for which he’d ever auditioned, the current revival of Les Misérables. He’s been performing the role of Claquesous and others in eight shows per week at the 1,400-seat Imperial Theatre since October. “I gave up my house, my car, and my partner of three years” to become an actor in New York, Morgan says. 2013 Aniello winner Dizzie Miss Lizzie’s Roadside Revue is still around, but founders Debra Buonaccorsi and Steve McWilliams moved to Nashville last year, where they are now writing and performing music as The Hummingbyrds. “We are seeking out opportunities here to continue the work of DMLRR,” they say via Facebook message. At least the more recent crop of Aniello Award winners are staying put. A Faction Fools will open its next production, an update of Molière’s The Miser, in June. Pointless is remounting its 2011 Capital Fringe show, Hugo Ball: A Super Spectacular Dada Adventure, in April. And next week, Flying V will open a revised and expanded version of You, Or Whatever I Can Get, a musical comedy that had a sold-out workshop run in the 2014 Fringe Festival. Written by its four-person cast, the show is about dating, friendship, and, above all, the terrifying passage from late youth to early middle age. Or as Schlafstein would have it, from curCP tain-jerker to mid-card.
GREAT PERFORMANCES AT MASON VISIT US AT CFA.GMU.EDU
Mummenschanz FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5 AT 8 P.M. If you’ve not yet seen Mummenschanz, catch them now with us! The witty and whimsical Swiss troupe will get your imagination going with a delightful, playful show of clever illusions and funny narratives, all performed in complete silence. “What Mummenschanz does so extraordinarily well is create its own comic universe–a place of constant wonder and ingenuity.” (Boston Herald) $48, $41, $29 ff
Virginia Opera
Romeo and Juliet SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 AT 8 P.M. SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 AT 2 P.M. Treat your Valentine to a romantic date with Gounod’s luminous setting of the quintessential love story. A sensational success from its premiere, it’s a gorgeous opera, filled with beautiful French Romantic period music. Sung in French with English supertitles. $98, $80, $48 Special Valentine’s Day Ticket Package: two tickets, champagne and chocolates, special photo booth, and two commemorative champagne glasses.$225, $190, $125
Mark Morris Dance Group FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 19 AT 8 P.M. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20 AT 8 P.M. Two D.C. area premieres! The, set to Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 in F Major, and Whelm, set to three piano pieces by Debussy. Also to be performed: Cargo, set to Darius Milhaud’s “La Création du Monde,” and Resurrection, set to music composed by Richard Rodgers for the 1936 Broadway musical On Your Toes. “The most life-enhancingly musical choreographer alive.” (The New York Times) $48, $41, $29
ff = Family Friendly performances that are most suitable for families with younger children
TICKETS
888-945-2468 OR CFA.GMU.EDU
30 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
Located on the Fairfax campus, six miles west of Beltway exit 54 at the intersection of Braddock Road and Rt. 123.
CPARTS
The fight to save Uni o n Arts washingtoncitypaper.com/go/unionarts
MUSIC
Blasting Off
With its third album, Two Inch Astronaut is breaking free of the city’s musical past. Sure, Sam Rosenberg is nervous. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s milling around the basement of the Kay Spiritual Life Center, the interfaith chapel tucked at the northeast end of the American University quad, and soon his band, Two Inch Astronaut, will hoist instruments and play its brand of well-honed post-punk in front of a few dozen college kids. It’s a few weeks before the band will drop its third and most anticipated record, Personal Life—an album that could, all cosmic winds blowing the the right way, propel the Colesville, Md. trio into a higher indie rock strata. So yeah, Rosenberg is nervous. But amid the din of soundchecks and chattering teens—before a series of well-timed premieres would expose the new 10-song LP to the public—he explains why: He just wants to know what people will write about it. At this moment in the life of Two Inch Astronaut, it feels like a legitimate question. Rock writers from a panoply of reputable publications have expended a considerable amount of words on the band, mostly after its last full-length, 2014’s Foulbrood. Most of those writers have trekked the same logical path: Two Inch Astronaut, a post-hardcore rock band from the D.C. area, is the chosen heir of the vibrant Dischord Records scene of the late 1990s and early 2000s that housed the band’s musical kinfolk: Jawbox, Q and Not U, Black Eyes, and the like. Such comparisons never quite sat well with Rosenberg and the band’s longtime drummer and cellist, Matt Gatwood. They’re aware that band members bitching about the press they receive is never a good look, but the cookie-cutter descriptions of Two Inch as just another post-y band in a long line of similar D.C. groups? Rosenberg calls them “reductive.” It’s hard to blame the band for whatever minor grudge it may harbor against the facile
Darrow Montgomery
By Ron Knox
From Left: Andy Chervenak, Sam Rosenberg, Matt Gatwood analogies of music pundits. For much of the band’s career, it has embraced a sonic chaos that so many bands eschew. Yes, one can heap Two Inch into the infinite abyss of post-hardcore bands, which at this point is like calling a band “a band.” But over two full-length albums and a handful of splits and EPs, Two Inch has blasted through the sometimes starchy conventions of its contemporaries—toying with odd beats, spastic interruptions, and, at times, alt-rock’s more radio-friendly tendencies. It dodges and
feints any attempt to pin it down. Now, Personal Life introduces new wrinkles to the band’s already complex profile. The record, guided by storied punk musician and producer J. Robbins, strikes notes found nowhere else in the Two Inch catalogue. It’s exceptional, mainly because the record is so damn listenable. Not that the band’s prior albums were somehow bad; they are almost universally praised, and rightfully so. They were, however, punk records on a spiritual
level, and they sounded like it. But for long stretches of Personal Life, Rosenberg, Gatwood, and new bassist Andy Chervenak perform at a catchy, clear, mid-tempo clip that defies so many past associations with the city’s noisy post-punk history. “When Foulbrood came out, I was really blown away. I thought it was one of the better records I would ever release through the label,” says Dan Goldin, co-owner of Exploding In Sound, the record label that Two Inch has called home for its past two albums. “Then, when I first heard Personal Life, it blew my mind. I thought: This was significantly better.” The album stands in stark contrast to Foulbrood beyond any sonic differences. Foulbrood is a moody, at times dark album, and, to hear the band explain it, the album’s atmosphere was the product of turmoil and doubt, written during struggles with lineup changes and bleakness otherwise. “What strikes me about that now is that it’s really miserable sounding,” Rosenberg says about Foulbrood. “It’s very depressing.” As the band was preparing to record Foulbrood, its former bassist, Daniel Pouridas, was expecting his first child and was quickly growing away from the band and toward fulltime fatherhood. His absence left the band in flux, and neither Rosenberg nor Gatwood could predict the group’s fate. That sense of impending doom permeates the album, on which only Rosenberg and Gatwood appear. “We weren’t sure what we were going to do,” Rosenberg says. Plus, the songwriting on Foulbrood fell mainly to Rosenberg, and that solitary task left him tunneling deep into his own psyche, searching for material. As with most of us, if you dig too deep, the light will vanish above you. “It’s a little more of me than I’m comfortable with,” Rosenberg says of Foulbrood. “It’s a little claustrophobic.” It seems predestined now, but Chervenak’s move back to D.C. from Boston—liter-
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 31
CPARTS Continued
ally at the same time Rosenberg and Gatwood were driving to Boston to record Foulbrood at Warrior Camp Studios—was happenstance. Chervenak grew up with Rosenberg and Gatwood in Maryland, then left for music school in Boston seven years ago. He sang and played guitar in Grass Is Green, which recorded a split single with Two Inch and toured with the band over the years. When he first returned to D.C., he played second guitar in Two Inch behind Rosenberg. But when Pouridas left the band, Chervenak took over bass full time. The bleak uncertainty that permeated Foulbrood faded into the distance. Now freed to focus on the music, the songs that would become Personal Life flowed from the trio. “We started really clicking right away,” Rosenberg says. “We wrote a lot very quickly. I think that’s kind of evident in the sound.” With Chervenak in the band, its writing process transformed. Often, Rosenberg wrote and arranged most of Two Inch’s songs, more by default than design. For the new record,
FOLGER
THEATRE
Chervenak became far more involved in songwriting and arrangement; Gatwood, too. For the first time in the band’s history, its members jammed. Songs arose organically and collectively. They’ve all known each other for years, grew up together. They all claim a similar musical provenance, and as such, the writing became democratic. Chervenak has a knack for arrangements, as well as the perspective and patience to consider the entirety of a song. The resulting songs were longer and sonically cleaner. Gone were the layers of guitars that often blanketed past Two Inch songs. For the most part, the songs on the new record include tracks for bass, drums, and a single guitar, with an extra layer of guitar reserved for the choruses. Chervenak’s presence helped the band write brighter songs. Even when mired in thematic darkness, even when quiet, Personal Life pops with energy. “I think Andy being in the band played a big role in the way the whole feel of the album came out—not having those very sub-
“I HAVE HAD A MOST RARE VISION…”
2015/16 SEASON
SHAKESPEARE’S TIMELESS ROMANTIC COMEDY Directed by AARON POSNER
ON STAGE NOW THRU MARCH 6 www.folger.edu/theatre | 202.544.7077 Pictured: Holly Twyford as Bottom. Photo by James Kegley
3216-FT-0021_CityPaper_MND_2.indd february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com 1
1/27/16 9:48 AM
dued parts, or at least not for very long before we go back into something more energetic or fun,” Gatwood says. Robbins, Personal Life’s producer, says he felt the trio’s energy almost immediately once they got into the studio. He likes Foulbrood— again, just about everyone does—but when he listens to it, he can hear the stacks of guitar tracks. It’s perhaps as polished as a spastic, chaotic album can be. For Personal Life, Robbins and the band wanted the record to capture the essence of the band’s arresting live shows. “A lot of people feel that way: If one guitar is good, two guitars is twice as good,” Robbins says. “Sometimes that’s completely true. But those guys have actual performance dynamics and stuff that’s happening. Sometimes when there’s a lot of tracking, you obfuscate that.” Indeed, the band’s on-stage performance has helped it carve a place for itself across a number of overlapping micro-scenes in the city. Live, they radiate a subtle intensity. Rosenberg and Chervenak remain relatively stationary during their sets—absent are wild gestations, kicks, and jumps. But the music compels. Ardent fans drum at the air, shout along with Rosenberg during the choruses. Concert-goers seeing Two Inch for the first time—and there were several at the American University show last month—turn and stare wide-eyed at one another between songs, as if to say: “Holy shit, did you see that?” That easy intensity permeates the new record. It sounds just as it was intended— clear, uncluttered, present. The simplicity
of the tracking has allowed Personal Life to breathe and, perhaps, to become accessible to a listening audience beyond the underground rock world. If that is the case, and there’s a larger audience out there waiting for Two Inch Astronaut, the band is unconcerned. It may appear primed to have a “moment”—an anticipated new record, a European tour with post-punk heavyweights La Dispute under its belt, newfound energy and sounds—but the members themselves dismiss such suggestions out of hand. “We’ve hit something, some sort of ceiling,” Gatwood says of the band’s ambitions. “Which is fine. It’s great. We’ll hopefully keep getting opportunities to play awesome shows and go on tours. It’s not like a turning point.” Chervenak says he’s more or less given up on the dream of making a living playing music. Even bands that have experienced considerable successes are still just scraping by. “I think it’s better to just put out good work and not worry about where it’s going to take you or what opportunities you’re going to get from it,” he says. With Personal Life, the band has indeed put out good work. Opportunities may manifest, or they may not. But if Rosenberg is nervous about what people will say about the new record, then fine. Let’s start here: Personal Life is an album uncluttered by complexities, a showcase for the band’s considerable talents, and an unblinking testament to maturity and the fleeting triumph of light over gloom. It’s CP the sound of a band becoming whole.
shattered glass
This staging of Williams’ “memory play” elicits laughs where it should draw tears.
The Glass Menagerie By Tennessee Williams Directed by Mark Ramont To Feb. 21 at Ford’s Theatre
Wasserstein mined her own family history for The Sisters Rosensweig. Handout photo by Stan Barouh
On the Monday after the snow finally stopped falling in D.C., Ford’s Theatre offered a free performance of its new production of The Glass Menagerie. In the second act’s climactic scene—when the painfully shy Laura is kissed by the man who will likely be her only gentleman caller—a voice rang out in the theater: “YEAH!” The audience (which included a large group of teens) met the moment with a mix of shock and giggles. The actors continued, somehow unfazed, but the softest moment in a play about vulnerability was interrupted by force. The moment was more akin to one of Tennessee Williams’ other plays, A Streetcar Named Desire, in which the brutish Stanley chips away at the already failing Blanche, pushing her into full insanity. In The Glass Menagerie, Williams’ semi-autobiographical 1945 play, the destruction is far more subtle yet just as devastating: Most overtly broken is Laura, the unmarried daughter who walks with a limp and lives in her own reclusive fantasy world. The outsider, Jim, is kind but careless with the Wingfield family, which also includes the matriarch, Amanda, and dreamer son, Tom. When Jim breaks the horn off Laura’s glass unicorn (her favorite figurine from her collection), he declares that she should “never forgive him.” “Now it’s just like all the other horses,” Laura tells him. “Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.” That’s how I viewed the brutal outburst when I returned to Ford’s for another performance. Mark Ramont’s production still had the same strengths and weaknesses upon a second viewing. Perhaps most successfully, Ramont embraces Williams’ description of The Glass Menagerie as a “memory play” in his staging and lighting cues. This includes the use of a scrim as a screen onto which the characters’ pre-recorded movements are projected, like the tragic figures in the films Tom claims he’s watching when he stays out late. As Tom tells the audience at the beginning, the play is “sentimental, it is not realistic.” This is most poignantly captured when Jim and Laura waltz, a dance that begins honestly enough before turning into an old Hollywood number, complete with a starry background. It’s how Tom would choose to remember his beloved sister in that moment: beautiful and graceful and loved. It’s visually striking and emotionally crushing in its fabrication. What’s missing—especially from the second act—is a sense of devastation and unseen heartbreak. Part of the problem may stem from some staging choices, which go for unnecessary laughs (when Jim hands
Handout photo by Scott Suchman
TheaTerCurtain Calls
Laura a piece of gum, she hesitates then breaks off a small bit—a moment of levity in a scene that should be preparing the audience for a tragic conclusion). As Amanda, Madeleine Potter strikes the best balance. She’s ridiculous but with a sense of elegance; down-and-out yet hopeful. The audience can laugh at Amanda, but it still feels deeply for her when she screams at Tom to abandon his family like his father, a “telephone man who fell in love with long distances.” Tom Story is much broader than readers of the play may imagine as Tom, the dreamy writer who curses his wasted hours as a warehouse worker and plots an escape to the Merchant Marines. “I’m starting to boil inside,” he tells Jim. “I know I seem dreamy, but inside—well, I’m boiling!” Story’s saucepan spilleth over. He’s over-the-top, loud, and perhaps too funny. It’s not that Story’s performance isn’t enjoyable to watch; it just doesn’t offer the right counterpoint to the largeness of Amanda’s character. There are exceptions, especially in the quiet moments Amanda and Tom share together on the fire escape, when Potter and Story bring a real sense of intimacy to the words. That I wasn’t in tears by the end of the second act was a disappointment. Laura’s inward collapse and Amanda’s shrinking resign upon learning that Jim is actually engaged is a gut punch but only if the audience is already imbued with a sense of coming dread. That there were laughs—and not tears—in the final moments of the production made it less singular and more sitcom—less like a unicorn and too much like the other horses. —Sarah Anne Hughes 511 10th St. NW. $20–$62. (202) 347-4833. fords.org.
Family herstory The Sisters Rosensweig By Wendy Wasserstein Directed by Kasi Campbell At Theater J to Feb. 21 Expat or immigrant? There are unspoken (but heavy) ethnic and class implications behind calling someone one or the other—for one thing, no one ever affixes the prefix “illegal” to “expat.” The central character in Wendy Wasserstein’s play The Sisters Rosensweig, a JewishAmerican banker living in London, comfortably falls into the expat category, but is uneasily reminded of the part of her identity that would have put her in the other, rather less welcoming, category a generation ago. Or rather, she’s reminded of it by everyone around her. Many of Wasserstein’s plays revolve around women who “have it all” but are seemingly missing something in their lives. For Sara, a successful, middle-aged divorcee, content in her atheism and assimilation into broader gentile society, that something boils down to religion and a man. Or so she is informed, repeatedly, by her daughter, her two sisters, and above all her suitor, a jovial, more-kosherthan-thou lovefool unfazed by her repeated rejections. The Sisters Rosensweig dances entertainingly, although in the end disappointingly around the things she’s missing. The notion that Sara needs anything at all, indeed that everyone else knows what’s best for her, is deeply patronizing, and is presented as such. It’s also presented as being kinda true. In Theater J’s production of this early ’90s play—with period-appropriate costumes (Guess jeans! 6x1 suits! Leotards!) by Kelsey
Hunt—the Soviet Union is falling, and Sara can’t be bothered by her daughter Tess (whom she named after Tess of the d’Urbervilles—how’s that for assimilation?) to care about the plight of the Lithuanians. It’s unclear if the references to Lithuania are a running joke about its obscurity to Americans or an indictment of Sara’s apathy. Explaining too little and too much at once is a weakness of this play: A large portion of the dialogue either involves characters spelling out to the audience what makes other characters tick (“she’s the kind of person who thinks Harvard and Yale are second-rate institutions,” says Tess of her mother), or religious inside jokes (“Thanks for leaving the door open, I feel like Elijah”). But the banter improves soon, once Sara’s sisters arrive. Pfeni is a bohemian, globetrotting travel writer, and Gorgeous is a married, observant radio talk show host. The two of them disapprove of Sara’s bourgeois lifestyle, for different reasons, though mostly hound her for being happily single. The late Wasserstein—a Yale grad whose ancestors never would have been let into Yale, whose grandparents were chased out of Poland (would that make them refugees? Migrants? Aliens?), a successful dramatist whose parents just wanted her to be a lawyer’s housewife— mined family history for her work. Which is why The Sisters Rosensweig feels at once both intensely personal and self-indulgent. It goes on too long. The characters make awkward remarks and then remark on how awkward those remarks were. Many of the stereotypes they embody—did Sara really have to be a Jewish banker?—seem to be there solely to allow them to comment on Jewish stereotypes. When Wasserstein veers into issues of identity, she’s neither subtle nor delicate, but she’s at her best. Her Sara is a rich character, and an excellent Kimberly Schraf plays her with a cold self-assuredness that gradually gives way to affection and playfulness. The acting is strong all around, though weak spots are apparent in the shaky English and Scottish (or is it Irish?) accents of James Whalen’s Geoffrey, Pfeni’s manic, bisexual boyfriend and Josh Adams’ Tom, Tess’ punk boyfriend. With Kasi Campbell’s direction, Wasserstein’s dialogue takes on a jaunty rhythm that dovetails well with the many musical references, from old Sinatra records to college a capella singing, which together give the family ensemble a more old-fashioned feel than something from the Blossom and Full House era. It’s a play rooted in history, and even when that history is mythologized, it’s inescapable. “Where did you come from, Sara?” they ask her. Sara accepts her heritage, but not without pointing out to her sisters that the place where they imagine they really belong, a Brooklyn of Yiddish-speaking immigrants, doesn’t exist anymore. It’s the same conversation their ancestors would have had, —Mike Paarlberg every generation. 1529 16th St. NW. $17–$47. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 33
TheaTer
Midsummertime Blues Two very different productions of the Shakespeare comedy staple make for an exercise in interpretation, but both are lovable.
By Chris Klimek Oh, what fools these mortals be, allowing two versions of the same play to overlap by three weekends. Don’t believe it. For a new work, this could prove disastrous; for a high school staple that’s more than 20 years old (give or take four centuries), it couldn’t matter less. Seeing two Midsummers on the same midwinter day—WSC Avant Bard’s shadow puppet-optimized version, staged at the former elementary school known as the Gunston Arts Center, and the Folger Theatre’s less idiosyncratic, bigger-budget, musical-theater-inflected take—is an exercise in interpretation, even more than any performance of Shakespeare necessarily is already. While Midsummer is never named among its author’s so-called “problem plays,” it’s still got a big one: The central conflict—a series of magickal roofie-ings wherein two pairs of randy young humans and a fairy queen are all made to lust after partners they wouldn’t choose while sober—gets sorted by the end of Act IV. This has the effect of making many a Midsummer Night’s Dream seem to linger into the following morning, and sometimes until almost Labor Day. The play feels like it ought to end some three- or four-hundred lines before you’re actually permitted to leave without causing a minor scandal. Act V is the “merry and tragical, tedious and brief” play-within-the-play of Pyramus and Thisbee, as performed by the “rude mechanicals,” the hapless troupe of amateurs whose futile rehearsals punctuate the main story of the bewitched lovers. On the page, this climactic performance never has the weight of inevitability behind it, the way the grand finale of most subsequent stories about underdog performing artists or athletes do. So on the stage, Pyramus and Thisbee had better be the funniest part of the show. If it isn’t, why are we all still here? Aaron Posner directed the Folger’s handsome
34 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
Folger Theatre
WSC Avant Bard
Handout photo byTeresa Castracane Photography
A Midsummer Night’s Dream By William Shakespeare Directed by Randy Baker At Gunston Arts Center to Feb. 14
new version, and its cast is spilling over with marvelous actors with whom he’s worked many times before: His spouse, Erin Weaver, plays Puck, the servant of Fairy King Oberon, and the character registers as much as an enforcer in this telling than as an imp. Maybe that’s because Weaver’s costume (by Devon Painter) exposes Weaver’s arms and midriff, toned and rippling enough under Jessy Belsky’s orange-and-purple lights to suggest that Puck’s regimen of pwning trespassers in the enchanted forest still leaves lots of time for pilates. Eric Hissom is Oberon, her boss, and on him the sleeveless gypsy look, replete with eyeliner and a head scarf, suggests Keith Richards (speaking of genius Britons who died in the 1600s). Holly Twyford is Bottom, the Mechanicals’ resident ham, creating the amusing spectacle of a great actor playing a lousy one. Finally, as Lysander, the young suitor whom Hermia loves though her father wants her to marry Demetrius instead (and in station and temperament, there’s no difference between them, so far as we can tell), you have Adam Wesley Brown, who was sublime in Posner’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead at the Folger last spring. This all-star squad can’t help but stick the landing—that vestigial Act V—with more vigor than their counterparts at WSC do. Posner never met a Shakespeare play he didn’t think he could improve with music: After sprinkling a few brief song breaks throughout the evening (Kim Wong’s Helena makes her entrance singing Adele’s “Someone Like You”) he finishes by breaking the fourth wall of the fourth wall, having the three couples join the Rude Mechs for a literally dancing-in-the-aisle finale. It helps that the ensemble is fronted by Weaver, a veteran musical theater lead. But long before that, Brown turns the famous consolation “The course of true love never did run smooth” into a ballad addressed to Hermia (Betsy Mugavero). He plucks out a melody on the ukulele but sings with such tenderness that I’m inclined to forgive his choice of instrument. Andre Pluess is credited with “Original Music” while Sarah Pickett with “Sound Design and Original Music.” Whoever composed the songs, the show certainly sounds sublime, from the voice-throwing and vocal impersonation effects Puck uses to confuse Lysander and Demetrius in the forest right down to the peaceful chirping of the crickets. While the production never quite feels whole, individual bits of it are inspired: Painter gives
Handout photo byTeresa Wood
A Midsummer Night’s Dream By William Shakespeare Directed by Aaron Posner At the Folger Theatre to March 6
the Mechanicals a different look every time they show up, for example. At first, five out of six of them are dressed in school uniforms, plaid skirts and blazers. At their next appearance they look like they’re modeling some designer’s winter collection. When Twyford-asBottom is transformed into an ass, Painter gives her actual hooves to go with her foot-high furry ears and big buck teeth. She also brays a toobrief version of “No One Is Alone,” from Into the Woods. But she’s nearly upstaged by Megan Graves’ hilarious performance as Snug, the retiring and almost-mute Mechanical who’s been terribly miscast as… The Lion. Graves’s stagewhisper is a marvel; she suggests someone for whom speaking is traumatic while still allowing the audience to hear her clearly—or as clearly as we need to, at any rate. In the WSC production, Oberon, Titania, and all the other faeries save for Daven Ralston’s Puck, are portrayed by shadow puppets in the Wayang Kulit tradition native to Indonesia and Malaysia. (Alex Vernon made the puppets.) Making the puppets as the “Mechanicals” would be a better conceptual joke, but Baker made the right casting choice. A half-dozen scrims surround designer Debra Kim Sivigny’s stage in the Gunston’s black box Theatre Two. The way these shadows can be made rapidly to swell or shrink simply by having the puppeteer move nearer to or farther from the light is a trick that seems all the more magical for its simplicity. Musical director James Bigbee Garver cor-
rals several members of the cast into a miniature Gamelan orchestra, performing an original score on xylophone, bass, and various tin cans and found objects. I might’ve imagined the cue in which they perform an acoustic arrangement of Wang Chung’s “Dance Hall Days,” but I don’t think so, because contemporaneous pop hits announce the arrival of Zach BrewsterGeisz’s Bottom: the boom box on his push cart plays A-Ha’s “Take on Me” and Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record),” both from 1985—practically Elizabethan times. While one doubts there’s any political payload to be gleaned from gender-flipped casting in a show wherein one character is transformed into a donkey, I’ll point out that Baker casts Toni Rae Salmi as Egeus, the bummer of a dad who commands his daughter Hermia (the ebullient Jenna Berk, who’s even better than the other Hermia) to marry the suitor he’s chosen for her. Otherwise she must face the sword—or a life of chastity. They amount to the same thing in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, a play that introduced many familiar phrases to our lexicon, but not the one that best captures its divine and youthful enchantment: If you can’t be with the CP one you love, love the one you’re with. 201 East Capitol St. SE. $35–$75. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu. 2700 South Lang Street, Arlington. Pay what you will, min. $10. (703) 418-4808. wscavantbard.org.
KENNEDY CENTER
Jason Moran, Artistic Director for Jazz
2015–2016 Season Discovery Artist in the KC Jazz Club
Matthew Whitaker
This fast-rising, 14-year-old Discovery Artist—who’s performed with the likes of Roy Ayers, Jon Batiste, the New York Pops Orchestra, and Christian McBride— brings his incredible prowess on the electric keyboard and B-3 organ to the KC Jazz Club. Friday, February 12
Daring works by William Forsythe, Annabelle Lopez Ochoa and Septime Webre that redefine the boundaries of classical ballet.
Discovery Artists in the KC Jazz Club are supported by The King-White Family Foundation and Dr. J. Douglas White.
KC Jazz Club • Performances at 7 & 9 p.m. in the Terrace Gallery.
No minimum. Light menu fare available.
A Family Affair
Making its Kennedy Center debut with selections from its newest recording, The Whitfield Family Band continues the jazz tradition of familial, intergenerational performance. Saturday, February 13 This performance is made possible through the generous support of The William N. Cafritz Jazz Initiative.
KC Jazz Club
Joe Lovano Village Rhythms Band
featuring Liberty Ellman, Michael Olatuja, Abdou Mboup, and Otis Brown III with special guests Judi Silvano and Tim Hagans For two nights, the Village Rhythms Band showcases the linear relationship between West African music and jazz in a way that is unique to Joe Lovano’s voice--warm, sinuous, and constantly moving over an emphatic pulse. Friday & Saturday, February 19 & 20
Photo by Dean Alexander
Mark Whitfield
The Whitfield Family Band
In the Middle, Somewhat Elevated
PRISM
State of Wonder
FEBRUARY 24–28, 2016
KENNEDY CENTER EISENHOWER THEATER
KC Jazz Club WPFW 89.3 FM is a media partner of Kennedy Center Jazz.
TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.
KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG 202.467.4600
WASHINGTONBALLET.ORG washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 35
FilmShort SubjectS
2015
Fresh Food Market Tuesdays -Sundays Arts & Crafts ~ Weekends easternmarket-dc.org Tu-Fr 7-7 | Sa 7-6 | Su 9-5
This TinselTown Hail, Caesar! Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen Caption TK
36 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
The films of brothers Joel and Ethan Coen identify and grapple with life’s biggest questions: Who are we? What is our relationship to the world? And is life worth living in the end? Their answers vary. Some of their best films take solace in humanity’s most ancient and cherished conventions—marriage (Fargo, Intolerable Cruelty) and children (Raising Arizona)—while others stare straight into the void, begging for an answer that never comes (No Country for Old Men, A Serious Man, Inside Llewyn Davis). Their latest film, the star-studded comedy Hail, Caesar!, straddles the divide. It teaches you how to watch it, challenging with its form while reassuring with its content. The film spans a few days in the life of Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin), who runs Capitol Pictures in 1930s Hollywood. Mannix’s official duties are never delineated, but that only underscores his importance. His chief duty seems to be making sure the actors, who have a knack for getting themselves into trouble, show up for work and stay out of the gossip columns. Brolin plays Mannix as an amalgam of classic Hollywood archetypes: He has the ferocity of a musclefor-hire type, the keen insight of a private eye, and even the warm, gooey center of an earnest schoolkid. A brief scene at his home offers a glimpse of the husband and father he could have been had he chosen a less batty profession. As he goes throughout his day, a plot emerges: Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) has been drugged and kidnapped by a mysterious group known only as “The Future.” They demand a ransom, but the Coens avoid the conventions of a kidnapping movie. They meander their way through several subplots, including the story of a starlet
(Scarlett Johannson) with a bun in the oven and no father to show for it; the frustrations of an effete English director (Ralph Fiennes) and his hayseed lead actor (Aiden Ehrenreich); and Mannix’s secret meetings with an aviation company executive, who is trying to lure him away from show business with a promise of riches and a calmer life. But each one of these subplots is like a red herring from a bad B-movie. The Coens, for once, aren’t interested in plot at all, instead choosing to luxuriate in the styles of yesteryear. Johansson and Channing Tatum get to do glamorous musical numbers; Clooney has a ball with his swords-and-sandals epic; and Whitlock’s kidnappers find themselves in a pre-Cold War spy movie when they rendezvous with a submarine off the coast of Malibu. Ultimately, Hail, Caesar! isn’t just aping or satirizing the classic genres of Old Hollywood; it’s embracing and emulating them, throwing irony aside in favor of gusto and gravitas. In the end, it grapples with the same themes the Coens have returned to for the past three decades, applying them, for the first time, to the very business of their life’s work. The question that sits at the heart of the film is whether Mannix’s job is worth doing, and if the movie business itself is worth fighting for. At one point, a Communist begins lecturing Mannix on the evils of an industry that claims a mantle of populism but really only serves the financial interests of the studio chiefs. It’s a convincing argument but one that Mannix has no use for. He slaps some sense into him, comically demonstrating to the viewer that the best way to maintain the status quo—and ensure that life remains worth living—is not to think about it —Noah Gittell too hard. Hail, Caesar! opens Friday at Landmark’s Bethesda Row, AMC Mazza Gallerie, AMC Courthouse Plaza, Regal Hyattsville Royale, and AMC Loews Georgetown.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 37
I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD
JUST ANNOUNCED!
Tesla • Vince Neil • Kix and more! ........... APRIL 29 & 30
feat.
THIS WEEK’S SHOWS
FEB 5 & 6 SOLD OUT! ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Single-Day Tickets On Sale Friday, February 5 at 10am
Greensky Bluegrass w/ Horseshoes and Hand Grenades .................................... Th 4
R ALL FOUR SHOWS!
LAWN TIX COMBO ONLY $150 FO
ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Joe Russo’s Almost Dead ....................................................................................W 10 FEBRUARY ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Joe Russo’s Almost Dead ............................................................................W 10
Big Head Todd and the Monsters w/ Mike Doughty ................................Th 11 Graveyard w/ Spiders Early Show! 6pm Doors ................................................F 12 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS SNAILIN USA TOUR PT. 2 FEATURING
Snails w/ Must Die ...........................................................................................F 12 FEB 13 SOLD OUT! ALL GOOD PRESENTS
The Devil Makes Three w/ Langhorne Slim ................................................Su 14
Best Coast & Wavves w/ Cherry Glazerr ......................................................Tu 16 Unknown Mortal Orchestra w/ Lower Dens .................................................W 17 Ralphie May This is a seated show. Early Show! 6pm Doors ..........................Th 18 ALL GOOD PRESENTS
The Soul Rebels Sound System feat. Talib Kweli Late Show! 10pm Doors . Th 18 ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Anders Osborne w/ Amy Helm and The Handsome Strangers ........................F 19
JASON ALDEAN w/ Thomas Rhett and more! ....................MAY 7 KENNY CHESNEY w/ Old Dominion ..................................MAY 19 MIRANDA LAMBERT ................................................ AUGUST 25 WPOC WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRY ...................... DATE TBA
Buy one ticket, attend four shows. Sit in the same seat each show! Discounted total price vs. buying separately. Don’t get shut out by the sellouts. Grab your spot in the front of the line now! Yee haw!
Jason Aldean w/ Thomas Rhett • A Thousand Horses • Dee Jay Silver .......... MAY 7 Kenny Chesney w/ Old Dominion ............................................................. MAY 19 Twenty One Pilots .................................................................................JUNE 10 Ellie Goulding ..................................................................................................... JUNE 13 Tame Impala w/ M83 ...................................................................................... JUNE 16 The Cure w/ The Twilight Sad ................................................................................ JUNE 22 Modest Mouse / Brand New ............................................................ JULY 12 • For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com
Echostage • Washington, D.C.
T ADDED!
FEB 23 SOLD OUT! SECOND NIGH
Josh Ritter and The Royal City Band w/ Elephant Revival ..........................W 24 Ty Segall and The Muggers w/ CFM & AXIS: SOVA ......................................Th 25 ALL GOOD AND DALE’S PALE ALE PRESENT
JUST ANNOUNCED!
B L O C P A R T Y w/ The Vaccines
.................................................. MAY 19 On Sale Friday, February 5 at 10am
Steep Canyon Rangers Early Show! 7pm Doors ...........................................F 26 ALL GOOD PRESENTS
BoomBox w/ Ben Silver (Orchard Lounge) Late Show! 10pm Doors................F 26 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS
The Floozies w/ Russ Liquid & Sunsquabi ....................................................Sa 27
Johnnyswim ...................................................................................................M 29
MARCH Wolfmother w/ Deap Vally ............................................................................... W 2 Drive-By Truckers w/ Thayer Sarrano ...................................................F 4 & Sa 5 Ra Ra Riot ....................................................................................................... Su 6
Kid Cudi All 12/10 tickets will be honored. ................................................. FEBRUARY 11 Umphrey’s McGee w/ Tauk ................................................................ FEBRUARY 12 Coheed and Cambria
w/ Glassjaw • I the Mighty • Silver Snakes ..................................................................... MARCH 2 Logic w/ Dizzy Wright ................................................................................................. MARCH 31 2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster
ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Twiddle w/ LITZ.............................................................................................Th 10 ALL GOOD PRESENTS
Railroad Earth .................................................................................. F 11 & Sa 12
Rachel Platten w/ Eric Hutchinson .................................................................M 14 Brian Fallon and The Crowes .....................................................................Tu 15 Goldlink X Sango ...........................................................................................W 16 Cowboy Mouth w/ Dingleberry Dynasty .........................................................Th 17 Galactic w/ The Bright Light Social Hour ............................................. F 18 & Sa 19 MAR 21 SOLD OUT! ALL GOOD PRESENTS
JUST ANNOUNCED!
1215 U Street NW Washington, D.C.
The SmaShing PumPkinS - in PlainSong w/ Liz Phair .. APRIL 10 BRYAN FERRY ......................................................................................... JULY 23 On Sale Friday, February 5 at 10am
STORY DISTRICT’S
Lake Street Dive w/ Margaret Glaspy ..........................................................Tu 22
Sucker For Love ....................................................................................FEBRUARY 13
AEG LIVE PRESENTS
AEG PRESENTS
G. Love and Special Sauce ..........................................................................Th 24 Savages ..........................................................................................................Su 27
Laurie Berkner Band ...........................................................................FEBRUARY 28 Pat Green & Randy Rogers Band......................................................... MARCH 3 Vicente Amigo ................................................................................................. MARCH 6 Yamato - The Drummers of Japan ......................................................... MARCH 16 Joe Satriani .........................................................................................................APRIL 2 Jewel (solo acoustic) w/ JD and The Straight Shot ............................................APRIL 7 Welcome to Night Vale ....................................................................... APRIL 18 & 19
Pusha T ..........................................................................................................W 23
MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!
9:30 CUPCAKES
930.com
The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com
9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL SafetySuit w/ Connell Cruise .............. Tu 16 Jonny Grave and The Tombstones • Kat Dahlia ............................................ W 17 Footwerk • Park Like It’s and more! .. Tu 9 Vinyl Theatre & Finish Ticket Hey Marseilles w/ Bad Bad Hats .......... F 12 w/ Irontom ........................................... Tu 23 MARDI GRAS CARNIVALE FEATURING
R5 w/ Ryland & Parade of Lights ...................................................................FEBRUARY 23
93.9 WKYS AND MAJIC 102.3 PRESENT
Plastic Cup Boyz .............................................................................................. MAY 29 • thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!
• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office
Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office. 9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights. 9:30 CUPCAKES The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth. Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. www.buzzbakery.com
38 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!
HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES
AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!
930.com
CITYLIST
Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 2 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .45
SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com
Music
Friday Rock
Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Paul Reed Smith Band, Moogatu. 9 p.m. $20–$25. gypsysallys.com. Howard THeaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Butch Trucks and the Freight Train Band. 8 p.m. $27.50–$62.50. thehowardtheatre.com. rock & roll HoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388ROCK. Loud Boyz, War on Women, The Rememerables. 9 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com. Villain & sainT 7141 Wisconsin Avenue, Bethesda. (240) 800-4700. Cravin’ Dogs. 9 p.m. $10–$12. villainandsaint.com.
ElEctRonic U sTreeT MUsic Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Victor Calderone, Sleepy & Boo. 10 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
Jazz kennedy cenTer Terrace THeaTer 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Mack Avenue SuperBand featuring Gary Burton and Christian McBride. 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. $30. kennedy-center.org. Mr. Henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Dial 251 for Jazz. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.
countRy 9:30 clUb 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Greensky Bluegrass. 7 p.m. $23. 930.com.
WoRld kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Shenzhen Pop Music Show. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY
GUARDS AT THE TAJ Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore once called it “the tear-drop on the cheek of time.” The marble-white wonder whose elegant domes pierce the sky in Agra, India, is Mughal emperor Shah Jahan’s memorial to his beloved wife, Mumtaz Mahal. A monument to love and remembrance, the Taj Mahal becomes the literal and symbolic centerpiece of Rajiv Joseph’s new play, Guards at the Taj. In 1648, the titular characters, Humayun and Babur, stand guard facing away from the Taj Mahal, whose surrounding walls are set to come down at dawn to unveil the grand mausoleum. Although they are forbidden from speaking, the childish and free-spirited Babur cannot help engaging the persnickety and lawabiding Humayun. The Beckett-style banter that fills the idle hours of anticipation calls to mind Waiting for Godot, but the play’s light humor takes a grim turn when the pair gets asked to participate in the emperor’s unfathomably horrific scheme. As the two friends become more entrenched in this bloody affair, we begin to glimpse the darker undertones of this symmetrical splendor. With his tragicomic tale, Joseph implores us to face the gruesome myths that shroud this ethereal treasure and to question the ultimate costs of ambition, power, and love. The play runs Feb. 1 to Feb. 28 at Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, —Victoria Gaffney 641 D St. NW. $43–$68. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.
dJ nights
Funk & R&B
Jazz
bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. Analog Soul Club. 10 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.
Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad, FeelFree. 9 p.m. $16–$18. gypsysallys.com.
Mr. Henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 546-
dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Discnotheque with DJs Sean Morris and Bill Spieler. 10:30 p.m. $2–$5. dcnine.com.
saturday Rock
8412. Tacha Coleman Parr. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.
Howard THeaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic. 8 p.m. $39.50–$80. thehowardtheatre.com.
WoRld
ElEctRonic
Israel Vibration, Zedicus, Dai Watson. 8:30 p.m.
dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Wylder, Broke Royals, The Duskwhales. 9 p.m. $8. dcnine.com.
black caT backsTaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Blisspop Symposium with Juan Zapata, Brad Piff, Chris Kennedy, B2B, Jacq Jill, Blinkhorn. 9:30 p.m. $5. blackcatdc.com.
rock & roll HoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388ROCK. Beauty Pill, Fellow Creatures. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.
U sTreeT MUsic Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Shiba San, Ken Lazee, Nick Garcia. 10:30 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.
THe HaMilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. $25–$30. thehamiltondc.com.
hip-hop FillMore silVer sprinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Fetty Wap, Post Malone. 9 p.m. (Sold out) fillmoresilverspring.com.
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 39
----------
CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY
3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500
MEL BROOKS
For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter! Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000
The STANLEY CLARKE BAND 8&9 TOMMY EMMANUEL “It’s Never Too Late Tour” Feb 4
EL DeBARGE PHIL VASSAR
10 11 12
Winter Tour 2016
FEBRUARY F 12, S 13 & SU 14
JEFF BRADSHAW & ERIC ROBERSON A LOVER’S WEEKEND RETURN OF THE GENTLEMEN
Winter Tour 2016 Songs for All Our Times
BURLESQUE-A-PADES
14
IN LOVELAND
TANYA TUCKER Fairground 16 JACKIE GREENE Saints 18 THE MARSHALL TUCKER BAND
15
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26
RAHSAAN PATTERSON
& JUNIOR BROWN TheRuthie Wranglers
19
JEFFREY OSBORNE Jefferson 22 LEON RUSSELL Grizzard 23 THE ROBERT CRAY BAND Owen JOE PUG Danoff 24 ALTAN 25 26 FIREFALL & PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE 27 THE FOUR BITCHIN’ BABES 21
S 27
JOE CLAIR & FRIENDS COMEDY SHOW MARCH
TH 10 & F 11
KENNY LATTIMORE THURSDAY MARCH 24 + FRIDAY MARCH 25
Evening of Musical & Political Humor with MARK RUSSELL
28 An
GAELIC STORM 2 WYNONNA & The Big Noise “Stories & Song” w/Tim & Myles Thompson
Feb29 Mar 1
3&4
AN EVENING WITH LALAH HATHAWAY
RACHELLE FERRELL
SWEEPSTAKES A CAPELLA FESTIVAL 2016
5 HARMONY
11
JESSE COOK LEO KOTTKE KATHY MATTEA
13
Jerry Douglas Presents
8 10
APRIL
15 17 18
LIZZ WRIGHT TAL WILKENFELD DWELE
FRIDAY, APRIL 22
AMERICA 22 BIG BAD VOODOO DADDY
20
CAMEO
Maia Sharp
MARSHALL CRENSHAW ROCKETS BOTTLE & THE(All 1/22 tix honored)
classical kennedy cenTer Terrace THeaTer 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Pedja Muzijevic. 2 p.m. $55. kennedy-center.org. sixTH & i HisToric synaGoGUe 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Brooklyn Rider. 8 p.m. $35. sixthandi.org.
dJ nights black caT backsTaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Fresh to Death with DJs Carrie Nation and Jennder. 9:30 p.m. $5. blackcatdc.com. rock & roll HoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388ROCK. Rex Riot & Basscamp. 11:30 p.m. Free. rockandrollhoteldc.com.
sunday Rock
EARLS OF LEICESTER
14
It’s easy to love Blazing Saddles for its abject silliness: Alex Kerras punches a horse square in the nose, a riled-up Jack Starrett spouts “authentic frontier gibberish,” and a campfire meal of beans kicks off a solid minute of farting. But the movie that is arguably Mel Brooks’ best is filled with subversiveness. At almost every turn, Clevon Little’s silky smooth sheriff possesses a self-awareness that lets him outwit the town of dim racists he’s been sent to serve, at one point getting out of a jam by pointing a gun at his own head and declaring “the next man that makes a move, the nigger gets it!” Of course, it works. Everything about the movie works. And for one night only at the Kennedy Center, Mel Brooks will screen the film and share behind-the-scenes stories. As he approaches 90, Brooks, a 2009 Kennedy Center Honoree, remains tack sharp and even if he covers old ground—Richard Pryor was supposed to play the sheriff, for example, but the studio wouldn’t insure him—Brooks is as engaging now as he’s ever been. Mel Brooks performs at 7:30 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Concert Hall, 2700 F St. NW. $75–$150. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. —Steve Cavendish
black caT backsTaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Two Inch Astronaut, Hemlines, Laughing Man. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.
hip-hop 9:30 clUb 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Lupe Fiasco,The Boy Illinois, Billy Blue, ZVerse. 7 p.m. $40. 930.com.
C 2014 7GROUP ENTERTAINMENT
WWW.CAMEONATION.COM FACEBOOK.COM/CAMEONATION TWITTER.COM/CAMEONATION INSTAGRAM.COM/CAMEONATION
(305) 460-8022
7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500
Don Chapman & Larry Burnett
Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends
40 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
FillMore silVer sprinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Shy Glizzy. 8 p.m. $30. fillmoresilverspring.com.
Vocal kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Shenzhen Lily Girls’ Choir. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
Monday Rock
bircHMere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Tommy Emmanuel. 7:30 p.m. $49.50. birchmere.com.
WoRld kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Henan Arts Troupe. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
classical kennedy cenTer concerT Hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Shenzhen Symphony Orchestra. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.
tuesday Rock
bircHMere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Tommy Emmanuel. 7:30 p.m. $49.50. birchmere.com. rock & roll HoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388ROCK. Ezra Furman, BRNDA. 8 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.
Funk & R&B THe HaMilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Nathan and the Zydeco Cha-Chas. 7:30 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com.
countRy U sTreeT MUsic Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Mardi Gras Carnivale with Johnny Grave and the Tombstones, Footwerk. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
opERa
hip-hop
kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington National Opera preview Lost in the Stars. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
black caT backsTaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Pell, Daye Jack. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.
dJ nights black caT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Bibliodiscotheque. 7 p.m. Free. blackcatdc.com.
Wednesday Rock
9:30 clUb 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Joe Russo’s Almost Dead. 7 p.m. $35. 930.com. Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Bencoolen, Definition of One. 8 p.m. $8. gypsysallys.com.
Funk & R&B bircHMere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. El Debarge. 7:30 p.m. $65. birchmere.com. bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. Soul Down Sessions. 8:30 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.
Mardi Gras with the Madam
dJ nights U sTreeT MUsic Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. So Far Gone Drake Night with Gun$ Garcia and Magglezzz. 10 p.m. $5–$10. ustreetmusichall.com.
Tues. Feb. 9
Vocal kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. LeeAnet Noble and Team Vicious. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.
thursday Rock
9:30 clUb 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Big Head Todd and the Monsters, Mike Doughty. 7 p.m. $35. 930.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. JC Brooks and the Uptown Sound. 8:30 p.m. $15. dcnine.com. Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Gang of Thieves, Hyfy. 8 p.m. $12. gypsysallys.com. THe HaMilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Brother Joscephus and the Love Revolution, Gedeon
Beads, Babes and Booze BIG Giveaways
$3 Red Bull add on $7 Absolut Drinks $7 Madams Mystery Hurricanes add on
$250 for the best set of B---S!
Redheads always drink ½ price Shiner Bock!
2461 18th St., NW Washington, DC 202-667-5370
“Where the Beautiful
People go to get Ugly.” “One of the 25 best bars in America” - Playboy Magazine
LIVE MUSIC EVERY NIGHT Every Thu: The Johnny Artis Band Rock, R&B & Reggae
Fri Feb 5: Skyla Burrell
(that’s BEADS you pig!) Featuring The Cluster Funk www.madamsorgan.com
Hard Drivin’ Blues
Sat Feb 6: The Johnny Artis Band Rock, R&B & Reggae
Sun Feb 7: Stacy Brooks DownHome Blues
Every Mon: One Nite Stand Reggae, Funk & R&B
Tues Feb 9,16, 20,23: The Cluster Funk Madam’s Organ Very Own All-Star Jam Band!!!
Darrow Montgomery
Madam’s Organ
CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY
TWO INCH ASTRONAUT Silver Spring rock trio Two Inch Astronaut (see profile, page 31) often gets heralded as the modern evolution of D.C.’s ’80s and ’90s hardcore scene. The influence is there, but it’s not the only sound that comes through in its music. What makes Two Inch Astronaut so compelling is its stew of ’90s rock ‘n’ roll sounds. The sharp angles and turn-on-a-dime rhythms pull from Polvo. The vocals are a bit aggressive but thoughtful, in the spirit of Superchunk. This mix sounds better than ever on the lead singles from the band’s upcoming LP, Personal Life. “Good Behavior” is among the catchiest songs the band has ever written, with a towering up-and-down melody. The title track mows over listeners with charging guitar and bass. Joining Two Inch Astronaut to celebrate its record release are two local bands to add to your must-listen list. Laughing Man uses distortion and echoes to make its punk feel like it’s attacking from all sides. Hemlines’ patriarchy-smashing punk takes no prisoners and makes no apologies. A local rock showcase has never wailed quite this well. Two Inch Astronaut performs with Laughing Man and Hemlines at 7:30 p.m. at the Black Cat —Justin Weber Backstage, 1811 14th St. NW. $10. (202) 667-4490. blackcatdc.com.
VALENTINE’S DAY DINNER Win a $200 Madam’s Gift Card *Must be present to win
Three Course Meal For Two and a bottle of Champagne
$80 or
Make it sexy!!
(and very possible might get you laid) Add a bottle of Moet Rose for $65
Every Wed: The Human Country Jukebox Band Feb 12-13: Lex Grey & The Urban Pioneers Burlesque Blues from NYC!!!
Sun Feb 14,28: B.T. Richardson Band Blues & Funk
Fri Feb 19: Daddy Mack Band Memphis Blues
Sun Feb 21: The Good Thing Old School Funky Blues
Feb 26, 27: Biscuit Miller & The Mix Blues, Funk & Rock
Madam’s Organ presents… Come To “The Dark Side” an AMAZING, LAUGH-OUT-LOUD Comedy and Magic Open Mic hosted by the very talented Haywood Turnipseed, Jr and Alain Nu, “The Man Who Knows” every Monday night at Madam’s Organ on their second floor.
SUN, TUES, & THURS
Second Floor: Drunkaoke (Karaoke with Two Drink Minimum)
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 41
CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY
“MARKET SYMPHONY”
The sounds of our cities immediately plant us in a location, even if we’re not there physically. In D.C., that sound might be the incessant sirens of the presidential motorcade. In New York, in the days before no-honking fines were enforced, it would be the sound of a taxi driver aggressively beeping in traffic. For Nigerian artist Emeka Ogboh, the sounds that signify home are those of the Balogun, a large open-air market in Lagos. To create “Market Symphony,” his new installation at the National Museum of African Art, Ogboh recorded hours of sound; visitors to the museum’s first sound exhibition will hear music, buses and cars, and people exchanging goods. Listen even closer and stories start to emerge. Experiencing the sounds of home from the sterile confines of a gallery thousands of miles away becomes an emotional experience for Nigerian expats, who tell Ogboh that his work moves them unexpectedly. Even those who’ve never been to Nigeria can visit Lagos briefly before returning to the noise of traffic on Independence Avenue. The exhibition is on view daily, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., at the National Museum of African Art, —Caroline Jones 950 Independence Ave. SW. Free. (202) 633-4600. africa.si.edu.
Voting ends March 1. washingtoncitypaper.com
BEST OF 2016 OUT APRIL 7 Reserve Now! Call the advertising department to book your Best of D.C. ad today: 202-650-6927
Luke and the People. 7:30 p.m. $10–$15. thehamiltondc.com. kennedy cenTer MillenniUM sTaGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Sweater Set. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. Villain & sainT 7141 Wisconsin Avenue, Bethesda. (240) 800-4700. Marcus King Band, Dead 27s. 8 p.m. $12–$15. villainandsaint.com.
ElEctRonic black caT backsTaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Flavr Blue. 7:30 p.m. $10–$12. blackcatdc.com. U sTreeT MUsic Hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881880. Araabmuzik, Nadus, Mathias. 10 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.
Jazz bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088. Levon Mikaelian and United Shades of Artistry. 9:30 p.m. $10. bossadc.com.
countRy bircHMere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Phil Vassar. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. Mr. Henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Hollertown. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.
classical kennedy cenTer Terrace THeaTer 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Marina Piccinini with Andreas Haefliger. 7 p.m. $50. kennedy-center.org.
42 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
theater
aGenTs oF azeroTH The Washington Rogues present this new work based on Edward Snowden’s revelation that NSA and CIA agents spent much time and money investigating World of Warcraft online communities. The company wonders what the agents found and question the surveillance of our online activity in Jennifer Lane’s new play. Flashpoint Mead Theatre Lab. 916 G St. NW. To Feb. 14. $15–$20. (202) 315-1306. culturaldc.org. beTween riVerside and crazy A disgruntled ex-cop battles to keep an enormous rent-controlled apartment and put down his demons in this dark, Pulitzer Prize-winning comedy from author Stephen Adly Guirgis, whose previous play, The Motherfucker with the Hat played to acclaim at Studio three seasons ago. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Feb. 28. $20–$86. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. THe ciTy oF conVersaTion In this play tailor fit for D.C., a Georgetown hostess crafts political alliances and faces off with foes from the comforts of her living room, only to have her world rocked by the arrival of her son’s conservative wife. Doug Hughes directs the area premiere of Anthony Giardina’s comedy. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To March 6. $55–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. collaboraTors Joe Hodge’s dark comedy imagines a conversation and relationship between Russian writer Mikhail Bukgakov and Joseph Stalin. Spooky Action’s production features a variety of local actors, including Joe Duquette and Paul Reisman. Spooky Action Theater. 1810 16th St. NW. To March 6. $25–$35. (301) 920-1414. spookyaction.org.
consTellaTions A theoretical physicist and a beekeeper might not fall in love in a typical environment but in this play by Nick Payne, they find themselves drawn to each other. David Muse directs this show as part of the StudioX series. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To March 6. $20–$55. (202) 3323300. studiotheatre.org.
CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY
THIS IS WHY YOU’RE SINGLE It seems like everyone’s obsessed with singlehood in 2016. Dakota Johnson, post–Fifty Shades of Grey fame, is helming a new flick called How to Be Single, and a bevy of half-hearted web series clutter YouTube with videos on similar subjects. As the ever-divisive Valentine’s Day weekend approaches, Laura Lane and Angela Spera arrive to ease D.C.’s pain. The pals created This Is Why You’re Single as a live sketch show back in 2013, and the brand’s grown into a chart-topping podcast, book, and one of the more relatable relationship advice channels on the web. For the downtown audience, Lane and Spera will take a hilarious and sometimes all-too-honest trip through each reason so many of us are single. If their podcast is any indication, being a stalker or aggressively pursuing your romantic target via social media just might come up in the discussion. Laura Lane and Angela Spera perform at 7 p.m. at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 600 I St. NW. $14–$32. (202) 408-3100. sixthandi.org. —Jordan-Marie Smith
FRIDAY, 2/19 • 9:30 • TIX $12-$15
BUTCH TRUCKS
& THE FREIGHT TRAIN BAND
FEAT. BERRY OAKLEY JR, BRUCE KATZ, VAYLOR TRUCKS & DAMON FOWLER
SAT FEBRUARY 6TH
H
H
Feb 4
ANDREW LEAHEY & THE HOMESTEAD
Feb 5
THE WOODSHEDDERS
Feb 9
THE 9TH STREET STOMPERS
SUN FEBRUARY 7TH
BIG GAME PARTY THU FEBRUARY 11TH
JAZZ AT THE HOWARD
GREGORY PORTER
FRI FEBRUARY 12TH
AMEL LARRIEUX
Feb 11
GIRLS, GUNS & GLORY
Feb 13
HUMAN COUNTRY JUKEBOX
Feb 16
BIG VIRGINIA SKY
Feb 18
MIKE & THE MOONPIES / JASON EADY
Feb 19
DAN BAIRD & HOMEMADE SIN
Feb 20
WOODY PINES
Feb 25
GANSTAGRASS
Feb 26
ROGER CREAGER
Feb 27
IF BIRDS COULD FLY
H
KICKING OFF VALENTINES DAY WEEKEND PRODUCED BY JILL NEWMAN PRODUCTIONS & BLISSLIFE ENT
FRI FEBRUARY 12TH
WAYNE “THE TRAIN” HANCOCK
Mar 12
WILLIAM CLARK GREEN
Mar 17
UNDERHILL ROSE
Mar 18
CORY MORROW
Apr 21
CASH’D OUT
Apr 22
THE CURRYS
Jun 9
BILLY JOE SHAVER
THE PRINCE & MICHAEL JACKSON EXPERIENCE
SAT FEBRUARY 13TH
THE DREAM:
GENESIS TOUR 2016
SUN FEBRUARY 14TH
VALENTINE'S DAY BRUNCH FEAT.
MARCUS JOHNSON SUN FEBRUARY 14TH
MAYSA
VALENTINE'S DAY SHOW
H
Mar 5
GEORGE CLINTON
& PARLIAMENT FUNKADELIC
!
FaTHer coMes HoMe FroM THe war (parTs i, ii, and iii) Suzan-Lori Parks’ play follows a slave from
FRI FEBRUARY 5TH
UT
eqUUs A troubled young man’s obsession with horses turns violent and a dedicated psychiatrist attempts to figure out how to treat the situation in this dark drama by Peter Shaffer. Constellation Theatre at Source. 1835 14th St. NW. To Feb. 14. $20–$45. (202) 204-7741. constellationtheatre.org.
DAN BAIRD & HOMEMADE SIN
SO LD O
THe criTic and THe real inspecTor HoUnd Shakespeare Theatre Company opens 2016 with two plays in one evening, both behind-the-scenes looks at life in the theater. Jeffrey Hatcher’s adaptation of Richard Brinsley Sheridan’s 18th-century comedy The Critic is followed by Tom Stoppard’s The Real Inspector Hound, a mystery about two critics who become suspects when they see a murderous play. Lansburgh Theatre. 450 7th St. NW. To Feb. 14. $20–$108. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.
HILL COUNTRY BARBECUE MARKET
410 Seventh St, NW • 202.556.2050 Hillcountrylive.com • Twitter @hillcountrylive
Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro
MON FEBRUARY 15TH
DALEY
AVERY WILSON
FRI FEBRUARY 19TH
GIANMARCO SAT FEBRUARY 20TH
COMEDY AT THE HOWARD AN EVENING WITH
PAUL REISER SUN FEBRUARY 21ST
K’JON
BUY TICKETS AT THE BOX OFFICE OR ONLINE AT THEHOWARDTHEATRE.COM 202-803-2899
washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 43
BAFTA AWARD AWARD GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE ®
BEST ACTRESS Maggie Smith
“ACTING LEGEND MAGGIE SMITH’S TOUR DE FORCE.” -Lou Lumenick, NEW YORK POST
ACADEMY AWARD® WINNER
MAGGIE SMITH
THE
ALEX JENNINGS
IN LADYTHE VAN NICHOLAS HYTNER ALAN BENNETT FROM HIS MEMOIR
DIRECTED BY SCREENPLAY BY
WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM
EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENTS NOW PLAYING
Washington, DC Fairfax Fairfax Arlington AMC LOEWS Bethesda LANDMARK’S LANDMARK’S E STREET SHIRLINGTON 7 BETHESDA ROW CINEMA ANGELIKA AT MOSAIC CINEMA ARTS THEATRE CINEMA (202) 783-9494 amctheatres.com (571) 512-3301 (703) 978-6991 (301) 652-7273
VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.THELADYINTHEVAN.COM
WASHINGTON CITY PAPER
Find out what ToDo Today online.
FRIDAY 02/05 2 COL. ( 4.666" ) X 2.49" ALL.LIV.0205.WCP
FS/MA
#1
LIVE
UPCOMING PERFORMANCES
DR. JOHN
& THE NITE
TRIPPERS
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 4 LAST SENTRY
W/ PATTY REESE
introspective, upbeat and funky rock>
THURSDAY FEB
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 5 CRAVIN’ DOGS gonzo folk rock>
4
DOCTOR DREAD PRESENTS:
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6 ANDREW DEERIN
A CELEBRATION OF THE BIRTHDAY OF
BOB MARLEY
FT. THE DEVILLES AND BLUE HEALER rock n’ roll
FEATURING ISRAEL VIBRATION
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8 ALEX DAVIS
SATURDAY FEB
6
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 2 2ND TUESDAYS BLUES DAYS
TUES, FEB 9
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10 OPEN MIC NIGHT
NATHAN AND THE ZYDECO CHA-CHAS W/ SQUEEZE BAYOU
OPEN HOSTED BY PHIL KOMINSKI Open to all who perform!
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 11 MARCUS KING BAND AND THE DEAD 27’S jam, blues and rock n’ roll
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 12 PEBBLE TO PEARL
unique blend of funk, rock and powerful blues
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 SCHOOL OF ROCK student music showcase
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13 SESSION AMERICANA
folk and rock elements with makeshift instruments
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 BACH 2 ROCK
CELEBRATE FAT TUESDAY WITH
THURS, FEB 11
BROTHER JOSCEPHUS & THE LOVE REVOLUTION AND GEDEON LUKE & THE PEOPLE FRI, FEB 12
AN EVENING WITH
CHATHAM COUNTY LINE SAT, FEB 13
FLOW TRIBE
W/ THE TRONGONE BAND
student music showcase
WWW.VILLAINANDSAINT.COM
THE CITY OF CONVERSATION Trend pieces may insist that Georgetown is sooooo over in terms of its late-night bar scene, but damnit if we don’t still enjoy watching the movements and political machinations of the neighborhood’s hostesses. Anthony Giardina’s latest play, The City of Conversation, doubles down on that supposition, taking audiences through the years with Hester Ferris, a liberal, well-connected string-puller who invites ideological opposites into her living room to discuss the issues of the day. From the Carter years through two Bush adminstrations and into Obama’s historic election, Hester sees her gatherings evolve, but her world is truly rocked when her new, conservative daughter-in-law threatens to dismantle everything Hester has built over the decades. Just to make sure the play feels extra insidery, Giardina revealed in an essay written during the play’s 2014 production at Lincoln Center that the action was based in part on a New Yorker essay lamenting the end of this kind of socializing written by none other than Sidney Blumenthal. It’s impossible to escape the business of politics in this town, so embrace the play’s humor. A night at the theater beats a happy hour spent watching CNN in a crowded bar. The play runs Jan. 29 to March 6 at Arena —Caroline Jones Stage, 1100 6th St. SW. $55–$90. (202) 554-9066. arenastage.org.
WITH ZEDICUS AND DAI WATSON
solo pianist playing the hits!
open blues jam hosted by MOONSHINE SOCIETY (open to everyone!)
CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY
THEHAMILTONDC.COM
44 february 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
his West Texas home to the Confederate battlefields. To deepen the emotion of the work, Parks incorporates plot elements from ancient Greek dramas into this messy and powerful work. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Feb. 21. $36–$66. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. THe Glass MenaGerie Ford’s presents Tennessee Williams’ dark drama about Amanda, a mother trying to create a suitable life for her dependent adult children. When a suitor arrives to meet her shy daughter, Maggie, Amanda must figure out how to connect reality with her dreams for her family. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Feb. 21. $20–$62. (202) 347-4833. fordstheatre.org. GUards aT THe Taj Two guards tasked with overseeing the completion of the Taj Mahal are assigned to complete something so gruesome that it will alter their lives and relationship for years to come in this tragicomedy from playwright Rajiv Joseph. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Feb. 28. $43–$68. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net. a MidsUMMer niGHT’s dreaM Favorite local actors, including Holly Twyford and Erin Weaver, appear in Aaron Posner’s new staging of Shakespeare’s magical comedy about challenged lovers, fairies, and donkeys. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To March 6. $35–$75. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.
picasso aT THe lapin aGile Steve Martin’s absurdist comedy set in a Paris cafe finds Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso interacting right before both of them become important figures in the science and art worlds. Meeting crazy bystanders as they discuss the events of the world, the two icons become humanized and silly in Martin’s play. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To Feb. 13. $30–$40. (703) 892-0202. keegantheatre.com. señoriTa y MadaMe: THe secreT war oF elizabeTH arden and Helena rUbinsTein Gustavo Ott’s comedy about dueling women at the heads of the marketing and cosmetics world and the conflicts that impact their careers is brought to life by Consuelo Trum. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To Feb. 28. $20–$42. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org. sHake loose: a MUsical niGHT oF blUes, Moods, and icons This new revue pays tribute to Thomas Jones II, William Knowles, and William Hubbard, the composers of popular musicals, like Three Sistahs, Bessie’s Blues, and Harlem Rose, that have previously been hits at MetroStage. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria. To March 6. $55–$60. (703) 548-9044. metrostage.org. THe sisTers rosensweiG Three sisters come together to celebrate a birthday and reconnect after being apart in this classic comedy by Wendy Wasserstein. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To Feb. 21. $27–$57. (202) 518-9400. theaterj.org.
St. NicholaS A mad theater critic follows an actress to London with disastrous results but somehow connects with a vampire eager to offer him a new job opportunity in this ridiculous comedy from playwright Conor McPherson. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To Feb. 21. $40–$50. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org. Sweat Arena Stage presents the world premiere of Lynn Nottage’s play about factory life at the turn of the 21st century. When workers in one Pennsylvania town hear rumors of layoffs and encounter a horrific crime, each character must figure out how to move forward when the future seems uncertain. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Feb. 21. $55–$110. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. wheN the RaiN StopS FalliNg Michael Dove directs this production of Andrew Bovell’s family drama that spans multiple generations and locations to tell the story of fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, and the events that happen over the course of 80 years. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To Feb. 28. $15–$30. (703) 854-1856. 1ststagespringhill.org.
Film
the choice Two young neighbors living in bucolic Beaufort, S.C. fall in love in this film adapted from the Nicholas Sparks novel of the same name. When Gabby falls into a coma following an accident, her boyfriend Travis must decide whether
n
to keep her alive or let her go. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) FiFty ShadeS oF Black Marlon Wayans stars in this parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, in which an inexperienced student and an eccentric businessman begin a torrid affair. Co-starring Kali Hawk, Jane Seymour, and Mike Epps. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) the FiNeSt houRS Coast Guard officers must rescue the crews of two oil tankers caught in a nor’easter in this film based on the true story of the 1952 Pendleton rescue. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) caeSaR! George Clooney, Tilda Swinn hail, ton, Channing Tatum, and many more stars appear in the Coen brothers’ latest caper, which follows the humorous rescue of a famous actor after he is kidnapped by a mysterious group. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)
TOP PRICES PAID
for your Records (33S or 45S) CD’s or DVD’s
$10 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M
TRIVIA EVERY M O N D AY & W E D N E S D AY
$3 PBR & NATTY BOH ALL DAY EVERY DAY
NO COLLECTION TOO SMALL or LARGE WE BUY EVERYTHING!
600 beers from around the world
Downstairs: good food, great beer: $3 PBR & Natty Boh’s all day every day
Call STEVE at 301-646-5403 or e-mail:
stevebuysrecords@gmail.com
*all shows 21+
JaNe got a guN A woman must defend her family and turns to a former lover for help after a bloody gang pursues her husband in this Western directed by Gavin O’Connor. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)
T H U R S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 4 T H
UNDERGROUND COMEDY SHOW
DOORS AT 7PM SHOW AT 8PM
pRide aNd pReJudice aNd ZomBieS Elizan beth Bennet is pursued by Mr. Darcy and the
F R I D AY, F E B R U A R Y 5 T H
undead in this adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel that finds England overrun with these creepy menaces. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)
NOCTE COVINA BURLESQUE
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM
Film clips by Caroline Jones.
S A T U R D AY, F E B R U A R Y 6 T H
CYN FACTORY PRESENTS SEX FILES
HITTING NEWSTANDS APRIL 7
CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY
A.O. SCOTT
They say everyone is a critic (especially in the age of Twitter and Facebook), but few make a living at it. And even among the professionals, A.O. Scott stands above the rest. He’s one of two principal film critics for the New York Times, and during his tenure he has come to the realization that thinking about films is a good way to think about, well, pretty much everything else. Scott distills his feelings into his new book, Better Living Through Criticism: How to Think about Art, Pleasure, Beauty, and Truth. In it, he patiently dismantles the stereotypes of the critic (e.g. that they are all failed artists) and uses his own experience to defend criticism—and intellectualism generally—as a valued practice. That being said, in Scott’s world there’s still room for stabbing comments; Marvel fans will still remember his assessment of The Avengers as “blinding, empty hecticness.” His discussion at Politics & Prose will be an extension of the book: a celebration of thought that mixes the highbrow alongside the lowbrow, and without thumbs pointing in any specific direction. A.O. Scott reads at 7 p.m. at Politics & Prose, 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Free. (202) —Allison Kowalski and Alan Zilberman 364-1919. politics-prose.com.
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM S U N D AY, F E B R U A R Y 7 T H
ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
®
“ THE BEST ANIMATED FILM OF THE YEAR!” -INDIEWIRE
“A COLORFUL AND STIRRING ANIMATED JOURNEY!”
“MASTERFUL!
A MARVEL OF VISUAL STORYTELLING!” -The Village Voice
INTIMATEAPPAREL SELF-LOVE BURLESQUE REVUE DOORS AT 1PM SHOW AT 2PM
STARR STRUCK COMEDY
DOORS AT 7 PM SHOW AT 8PM M O N D AY, F E B R U A R Y 8 T H
DISTRICT TRIVIA STARTS AT 730PM
T U E S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 9 T H
LAST RESORT COMEDY
DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM W E D N E S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 1 0 T H
DISTRICT TRIVIA STARTS AT 730PM
STARR STRUCK COMEDY
DOORS AT 7 PM SHOW AT 8PM T H U R S D AY, F E B R U A R Y 1 1 T H
A film by
alÊ abreu
UNDERGROUND COMEDY SHOW STARTS AT 8PM
EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRI. 2/5 Washington DC
Virginia
AT UNION MARKET 550 PENN ST. NE (571) 512-3313 ANGELIKAPOPUP.COM WASHINGTON
2911 DISTRICT AVE @ LEE HIGHWAY & GALLOWS RD (571) 512-3301 FAIRFAX
ANGELIKA POP-UP
ANGELIKA MOSAIC
1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events
Wash City Paper washingtoncitypaper.com february 5, 2016 45 Wednesday, 2/3 1/8Pg(2.25”x5.1455”)
A day oday
ee the the ur our
n
tongton-
Out Outwith withthe theold, old,In In with the new with the newPost Post your yourlisting listingwith with Washington WashingtonCity City Paper PaperClassifieds Classifieds
Out Out with with the the old, old, In In with with the the new new Post Post your your listing listing with with Washington Washington City City Paper Paper Classifieds Classifieds
Out Outwith withthe theold, old, In Inwith withthe thenew new Post Postyour yourlisting listing with withWashington Washington City CityPaper Paper Classifieds Classifieds
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingthttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ oncitypaper.com/
http://www.washingtoncityhttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ paper.com/
Contents:
Adult..............................................46 Auto/Wheels/Boat .....................47 Buy, Sell, Trade, Marketplace.................................47 Community...................................47 Employment.................................47 Health/Mind, Body & Spirit ...............................47 Housing/Rentals .........................47 Legals Notices ............................46 Music/Music Row ......................47 Real Estate...................................47 Services ........................................47
Adult Employment Adult Web Cam Models Needed Must be 18 yrs or older to apply Must own or have access to computer Reply at dateniteadult.com
Adult Services
Legals
Legals
PUBLIC AUCTION Feb. 13, 2016 10:30 AM start 7436 Old Alex Ferry Road Clinton, MD Johnson M&S will sell these lots of household goods for fees due: V.Goff, R.Price, Machne Israel of Phila. C.Knotts, Century 21 VPR Cory Rlty
CITATION BY PUBLICATION TO: STEPHANIE ORDAZ Last known address in Washington, D.C. GREETINGS: YOU (AND EACH OF YOU) ARE HEREBY COMMANDED to appear before the Probate Court of El Paso County, Texas, at the Courthouse thereof, by filing a written answer at or before 10:00 o’clock A.M. on the first Monday next after the expiration of ten days from the date of the issuance of this citation, same being the 15th day of February, 2016 to Petition filed in said Court on the 2nd day of December, 2015 in Cause No. 2015CGD00352 on the docket of said court and styled Destiny Alexis Ordaz, An Incapacitated Person
Moving? Moving?
Find A Helping Hand Today
Gorgeous Asian offer sensuous full body massage.combination relaxing by soft magic touch 9am-7pm appointment only call 703-5874683 duke st. Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-877621-7013
MOVING?
FIND FINDYOUR YOUROUTLET. OUTLET. RELAX, RELAX, Diversions UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS Ink Well Crossword....................47 HEALTH/MIND, HEALTH/MIND,BODY BODY&&SPIRIT SPIRIT
Pretty 28 year old. Full body massage. Open 10am-6pm. Call 410-322-4871. Virginia.
Legals
The Perry Street Prep Public Charter School solicits proposals for the following services: Tutoring Technology Equipment Assessment Services
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
MOVING? FIND A HELPING HAND TODAY
Proposals shall be received no later than 5:00 P.M., Monday, February 15, 2016. Prospective Firms shall submit one electronic submission via e-mail to psp_bids@pspdc.org
Classified Adsthe old, Out Out with with the old, In In with with FREE TO LISTEN AND REPLY TO ADS
Free Code: Washington City Paper
the the new new Post Post your your listing listing with Washington City with Washington City Paper Classifieds 1400 I (EYE) Street NWPaper Classifieds
Out Out with with the the old, In old, In with with the the new new Post Post your your listing listing with with Washington Washington City City Paper Paper Classifieds Classifieds http://www.washingtonhttp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ citypaper.com/
Print & Web Classified Packages may be placed on our Web site, by fax, mail, phone, or in person at our office:
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com Suite 900 http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com// Washington, D.C. 20005. Commercial Ads rates start at $20 for up to 6 lines in print and online; additional print lines start at $2.50/line (vary by section). Your print ad placement will include web placement plus up to 10 photos online. Premium options available for both print and web may vary.
FIND REAL GAY MEN NEAR YOU Washington:
(202) 822-1666 Arlington:
Baltimore:
(703) 373-1000 (410) 468-4000
www.megamates.com 18+
Print Deadline The deadline for submission and payment of classified ads for print is each Monday, 5 pm. You may contact the Classifieds Rep by e-mailing classifieds@washingtoncitypaper.com or calling 202-650-6926. For more information please visit www.washingtoncitypaper.com
46 February 5, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com
FIND A HELPING HAND TODAY
FIND FINDYOUR YOUR OUTLET. OUTLET. RELAX, RELAX, UNWIND, UNWIND, REPEAT REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ HEALTH/ MIND, MIND,BODY BODY &&SPIRIT SPIRIT http://www http://wwwwashingtwashingtoncitypaper.com/ oncitypaper.com/
Out Out with with the the old, InIn with old,YOUR with FIND OUTLET. RELAX, the the new newREPEAT UNWIND, CLASSIFIEDS Post Post your your HEALTH/MIND, BODY & listing with listingSPIRIT with Washington Washington City City Paper Paper Classifieds Classifieds
A brief statement of the nature of this suit is as follows, to-wit: Application for Appointment of a Permanent Guardian of the Person Only If http://www.washingtthis citation is not served withinoncitypaper.com/ ten days after the date of its issuance, it shall be returned unserved. The offi cer executing this writ shall promptly serve the same according to requirements of law, and the mandates hereof, http://www.washingtand made due return as the law http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ directs. oncitypaper.com/ WITNESS, DELIA BRIONES, Clerk, El Paso County, Texas. Issued and given under my hand and seal of said Court at El Paso, Texas, on this 22nd day of January, 2016. Delia Briones, El Paso County Clerk Moving? FindSuite A 105 500 East San Antonio, ElHelping Paso, TexasHand 79901 Today BY: Deputy Jose Cordova
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Legals
SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION Name of Decedent, Maria A. McAtee Notice of Appointment, Notice to creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Linda B. Schilder and . Daniel D. McAtee, whose addresses are: 43 Crosstree Patio, Hilton HeadIsland, SC299267/ 3100 Connecticut Ave. NW, #235 WDC 20008 were appointed Personal Representative(s) of the estate of Maria A. McAtee who died on August 7, 2015 with a Will and will serve without Court supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this http://ww proceeding. Objections to such typaper.c appointment (or to the probate of decedent’s Will) shall be filed With the Register of Wills, D.C., Building A,515 5th Street, N.W., 3” Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 8/4/16. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or filed with the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 8/4/16, or be forever barred. Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its first publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship. Date of first pubfi cation: 2/4/16. Personal Representatives: Linda B. Schilder, Daniel D. McAtee. TRUE TEST COPY /s/ ANNEOut wi MEISTER Register of Wills. Name with th of Newspapers: DWLR, WASHINGTON CITY PAPER. Pub Dates:your lis Feb 4, 11, 18, 2016. Washin
FIND Y RELAX REPEA HEALT & SPIR
Mov Find Hand
Apartments for RentPaper http://www paper.com
Updated NW 1BR apt. Spacious English basement in 16th St Heights near Rock Creek Park. * $1500/mth, plus electric * Brand new hardwood floors * Washer/dryer in unit * Pet friendly * Private, secure entrance * Kitchen with open bar, great cabinet space, dishwasher * Close to 16th St bus line * $1500 security deposit * $25 application fee (per adult) Call 301-907-6599 or email Cobleprop2@aol.com today for more info and showing.
FIND YOU UNWIND, HEALTH/
http://www.wa
MOVIN HELPING
Out the n with Pap
http://w
QUEUE AND CRY
Condos for Rent
Moving?
SW Waterfront Carrollsburg Condominiums. Spacious 1BR completely renovated, top-of the line fully equipped, stainless steel appliances, HWF, Metro, on bus line. $1750/mo. incl. all utils. Call 202-641-6058.
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington BY BRENDAN EmmEtt QUiglEY City Paper Classifieds http://www.washington1 2 3 4 citypaper.com/
5
14
15
17
18
20
21 23
28
29
30
35
36
38
39
41
42
44 47
48 50
57
58
59
60
62
63
65
66
Across 1. Night light 5. Pitcher Santana 10. Past the scheduled stop time 14. “Hey, hombre” 15. Former pitcher Hideki 16. Like a heel 17. Some 18. Fast food sandwich that came with a hot and cold side 19. “The Distance” ‘90s band 20. The grandeur of being gay? 23. Prairie Home Companion gumshoe Noir 24. Done stuff 28. Marsh rush 31. 43-Across’s bailiwick 34. Some honkers 35. Soccer star Suarez 36. Brewer from Northern Spain? 38. 2014 World Cup runners-up: Abbr. 39. Listen fully 40. Coffee container 41. Bottomless parts of a Muslim’s temple? 43. Pros with radar guns 44. Poppy stock
45. 46. 47. 49. 50. 57. 60. 61. 62. 63.
Roommates
25. Moby Dick setting, with 16 “The” 26. Takes illegally 19 27. Smaller than small 28. Quickly apply, 22 as brakes 24 25 26 27 29. Jupiter moon discovered 31 32 33 34 by Galileo 30. Gets really 37 http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ into, man 31. Ballerina’s stock 40 32. Home with an 43 ocean view, maybe 45 46 33. Composed 36. Letterman’s 49 contest? 37. “The Wheels 51 52 53 54 55 56 on the ___” 61 39. Amy Schumer specialty 64 42. Minor complaint 43. Pulls in front 67 of abruptly on a highway 46. Moby Dick setting 6. Boat-destroying “What’d I 48. Deadens creature tell you?” 49. Triplets share them 7. Call to Mecca Like a beer from 51. Opera highlights a bad tap 8. Can-do 52. Non-weekend http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com / Fans of a team, 9. Cuckoo bananas night bar promo collectively 10. Not-yet53. Addict’s challenge Comprehend mature ova 54. Google Keep Curt comment to 11. Direction note, often the audience? clarification 55. Brown building Tumbler 12. Rocky Mountain 56. 32-Down resident, lock’s spot deer perhaps Sit shiva 13. Grain used in 57. Breakfast spread some breads Compost heap 58. Clash of Clans and beers emanation weapon 21. Have some second Spin with a pick 59. Reached, as thoughts about R&B singer a quota 22. Yank, as the Mary J. ___ bottom on Plant in a cubicle Mommy’s dress Allot, with “out” 6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
MOVING? FIND A HELPING HAND TODAY
64. 65. 66. Grande and Venti at Starbucks, say (but really, I just call ‘em “medium” and “large”) 67. David Bowie’s first #1 hit song
Down 1. Likely NBA Hallof-Famer in the class of ‘16 2. Bean curd in curries 3. On the safe side 4. Stuff in a protein shake 5. Wiggle open, as with a bar
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds
LAST WEEK: UPS AND DOWNS J F K I I I B E D O B I N S A N O U S D A D O U B I L L B S E E Y T B S P
W E A R
O G L E
F O E S
S T U N T
E R I C I D L L E E A N W O R N E M S E T
L O N G R O A D
Find A Helping Hand Today
U S B
S C U A B R A M
O B E C S O M E R A L T H E B O O N E
T O N Y H A L K E N E E E S S O T C E K E
A H A B
R E D O
T R O Y
S E N S
E T A L I W A A D I C H
L O R D L Y
A N S E L
D E V O
S K H I E X
ALL AREAS: ROOMMATES. COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke? Find the perfect roommate to compliment your personality and lifestyles at Roommates.com!
Rooms for Rent Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for short-term and longterm rental for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com NE DC rooms for rent. $650/mo. utils plus cable included. $400 security deposit required Close to Metro and parking available. Use of kitchen, very clean. Seeking Professional. Call 301/437-6613.
Architecture/ Engineering
Out with the old, In with the new Post your Business Opportunities listing with PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 Washington A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required. City Paper Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Classifieds Immediately! www.TheIncome-
Project Engineer: Master degree in Architectural Engineering/related. Fax 202-399-1445 resume to J. Roberts, Inc., Washington DC 20019
Hub.com
http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Computer/Technical
Clothing/Jewelry & Accessories Gold Tone Timex Watch-Like New -Analog. 5 months old. I paid 50.00 for it and selling it for $15 OBO. Cash Only. Please call Joy at 202-333-1576.
Miscellaneous Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider for 10 years. Insured and Guaranteed Delivery. Call today 1-888403-9028
Cars/Trucks/SUVs
MOVING?
NE ED A C NEED CAR, A R, TTRUCK RUCK ooff SUV? SU V ? Over O v e r 11,000 ,0 0 0 vvehicles e hicle s iinn stock s to c k from f rom 22011-2015! 011-2 015! FFinancing in a n cing ffor or ““ALL” A L L” credit cr e dit situsi t u aations! tions! Call C all JJason a son @ 202.704.8213 2 0 2.7 0 4.8 2 13 --Laurel L a ur el MD MD
FIND A HELPING HAND TODAY
CARS/TRUCKS WANTED!!! We Buy Like New or Damaged. Running or Not. Get Paid! Free Towing! We’re Local! Call For Quote: 1-888-420-3808
Bands/DJs for Hire
DJ DC SOUL man. Hiphop, reggae, go-go, oldies, etc. Clubs, caberets, weddings, etc. Contact the DC Soul Hot Line at 202/2861773 or email me at dc1soulman@live.com. DJ DC SOUL man. Hiphop, reggae, go-go, oldies, etc. Clubs, caberets, weddings, etc. Contact the DC Soul Hot Line at 202/2861773 or email me at dc1soulman@live.com.
Driver/Delivery/Courier
General AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563
Miscellaneous Update your skills for a better job! Continuing Education at Community College at UDC has more than a thousand certifi ed online & affordable classes in nearly every fi eld. Education on your own. http://cc.udc.edu/continuing_education
Counseling GEORGETOWN PSYCHOTHERAPY. individual, couples, group. Experienced,caring PH.D. therapist. drwendellcox.com, (202) 333-6606.
A world-renowned illusionist and entertainer, Ivan Amodei delights in creating one of a kind stage experiences using a blend of magnifi cent magic, music, drama and comedy that transport you, the audience into a fantastic new world! Utterly enthralling, Amodei’s myriad talents range from daring telekinesis to dazzling telepathy, and much more, including inspiring and dazzling worldclass illusions! Featuring an incredible score including everything from Mozart to Hans Zimmer and Celine Dion’s concert Cellist, Intimate Illusions is a spectacular, spontaneous and witty show about destiny, courage, life and love is most definitely like nothing you’ve ever seen before! http://www.ivanamodei.com
Volunteer Services Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, info@wacdtf.org. Twitter: @wacdtf
Counseling Financial Services Are you in BIG trouble with the IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unfiled tax returns, payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317
Health & Beauty Products PENIS ENLARGEMENT MEDICAL PUMP. Gain 1-3 Inches Permanently! Money back guarantee. FDA Licensed since 1997. Free Brochure: Call (619) 294-7777 www.drjoelkaplan.com ELIMINATE CELLULITE and Inches in weeks! All natural. Odor free. Works for men or women. Free month supply on select packages. Order now! 844-2447149 (M-F 9am-8pm central)
FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
Licensed Massage & Spas
RELAXING SOOTHING MASSAGE 240-463-7754 Valerie@ yourclassicmassage. com http://www washingtPeople come to me for my gentleoncitypaper.com/ ness and knowledge of the body. I listen to your needs and present the massage appropriate for them. Reduce your stress, relax your mind, energize your body and restore your balance. Private offi ce in the Palisades. MacArthur Blvd., NW, DC. Outcalls welcome. Appointment only.
Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/
Events
Need Computer Tutorial. Need Someone who is computer savvy and can help me set up a new laptop and give me a tutorial. 301437-6613
Driver needed to drive me to appointments and errands. Must have own car. Call 301437-6613.
Counseling Struggling with DRUGS or ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 800-978-6674
Pregnant? Thinking of Adoption? Talk with a caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. Living Expenses Paid. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana.
Educating the public and empowering the homeless one newspaper at a time.
Street Sense
Where the Washington area’s poor and homeless earn and give their two cents
Pick up a copy today from vendors throughout downtown D.C. or visit www.streetsense.org for more information.
washingtoncitypaper.com February 5, 2016 47