Best of D.C. 2017

CITYPAPER Washington

Free Volume 37, No. 14 WashiNgtoNCityPaPer.Com aPril 7–13, 2017

WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM APRIL 7, 2017 SPRING ARTS GUIDE

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Thanks for voting us Best Shopping Center 2017

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INSIDE 2017 PAGE 5 Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

4 CHATTEr

144 CLASSIFIEDS

7 BEST oF FooD & DrInK DIvErSIonS 145 Crossword 37 BEST oF ArTS & EnTErTAInMEnT 146 BEST oF D.C., BY THE nUMBErS 75 BEST oF GooDS & SErvICES on THE CovEr Illustration by Colin Johnson 111 BEST oF PEoPLE & PLACES CITY LIST 135 Music 141 Books 141 Galleries 142 Dance 142 Theater 143 Film washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 3

CHATTER

Walk, Don’t Balk

In which we consider what’s not best about D.C.

Darrow MontgoMery

Within these pages, our largest issue of the year, both our readers and the intrepid City Paper staff offer our reverence and devotion to the people, places, and rituals that make the District wonderful—despite how much it costs us to live here. But fondness means nothing without some sense of contrast.

We also have a lot to bitch about. Many of our problems are enduring and intractable, issues that are simply too complex to be solved overnight.

But there is one immutable muddle from which we collectively suffer every single day that we could quite literally solve by tomorrow morning. Are you with us? All it would require is for able-bodied people to put one foot in front of the other. That’s right. This is not like some diet hocus pocus that seems too easy to be true.

We’re talking about the escalefters.

Who are these people and why in the name of time-is-money do they have no sense of urgency? Don’t they have some place to be? A deadline or a raft of emails to send? Are they so infatuated with the joyless Brutalism of Metro stations that they want to prolong the dismal experience? Why do they want to wait around and risk someone else sneezing on them?

Presumably, worthless molecular matter like these are the same ones who sit with asses glued to their seats when an old, disabled lady gets on the train—instead, of course, of acting like people and standing the hell up to offer their coveted spots.

Even on the left—the “passing” lane of the escalator—and even as the circular platform lights are flashing and two trains traveling in opposite directions are both approaching, these humanoids stand motionless. They prefer, of course, to stand shoulder to shoulder with similarly sloth-like bipeds to ensure that those behind them can’t possibly fucking move.

In the interest of making the District a better place, we call on you people to muster a little thoughtfulness and take a few steps because the rest of us have some place to be. And those who want to shame the non-compliant should employ some tactics that might seem uncomfortable, like for example, shouting from the top of the escalator, “Will you please walk?” #StigmatizeTheEscalefters.

—Liz Garrigan GLen echo Park, aPriL 1

EDITORIAL

editor: liz garrigan ManaGinG editor: alexa Mills arts editor: Matt Cohen food editor: laura hayes city LiGhts editor: Caroline jones staff writer: andrew giaMbrone senior writer: jeffrey anderson staff PhotoGraPher: darrow MontgoMery interactive news deveLoPer: zaCh rausnitz creative director: jandos rothstein art director: stephanie rudig coPy editor/Production assistant: will warren contributinG writers: jonetta rose barras, VanCe brinkley, eriCa bruCe, kriston Capps, ruben Castaneda, Chad Clark, justin Cook, riley Croghan, jeffry Cudlin, erin deVine, Matt dunn, tiM ebner, jake eMen, noah gittell, elena goukassian, aManda kolson hurley, louis jaCobson, raChael johnson, Chris kelly, aMrita khalid, steVe kiViat, Chris kliMek, ron knox, john krizel, jeroMe langston, aMy lyons, kelly MagyariCs, neVin Martell, keith Mathias, traVis MitChell, triCia olszewski, eVe ottenberg, Mike paarlberg, noa rosinplotz, beth shook, Quintin siMMons, Matt terl, dan troMbly, kaarin VeMbar, eMily walz, joe warMinsky, alona wartofsky, justin weber, MiChael j. west, alan zilberMan

ADvERTIsIng AnD OpERATIOns

PubLisher: eriC norwood saLes ManaGer: Melanie babb senior account executives: arlene kaMinsky, aliCia Merritt, aris williaMs account executives: stu kelly, Christy sitter, Chad Vale saLes oPerations ManaGer: heather MCandrews director of MarketinG and events: sara diCk business deveLoPMent associate: edgard izaguirre oPerations director: jeff boswell senior saLes oPeration and Production coordinator: jane MartinaChe PubLisher eMeritus: aMy austin

sOuThcOmm

chief executive officer: Chris ferrell chief oPeratinG officer: blair johnson chief financiaL officer: bob Mahoney executive vice President: Mark bartel GraPhic desiGners: katy barrett-alley, aMy goMoljak, abbie leali, liz loewenstein, Melanie Mays

LocaL advertisinG: (202) 650-6937 fax: (202) 618-3959, ads@washingtonCitypaper.CoM FinD a staFF Directory With contact inFormation at Washingtoncitypaper.com voL. 37, no. 14 aPriL 7-13, 2017 washington City paper is published eVery week and is loCated at 734 15th st. nw, suite 400, washington, d.C. 20005.

Calendar subMissions are welCoMed; they Must be reCeiVed 10 days before publiCation. u.s. subsCriptions are aVailable for $250 per year. issue will arriVe seVeral days after publiCation. baCk issues of the past fiVe weeks are aVailable at the offiCe for $1 ($5 for older issues). baCk issues are aVailable by Mail for $5. Make CheCks payable to washington City paper or Call for More options. © 2016 all rights reserVed. no part of this publiCation May be reproduCed without the written perMission of the editor.

4 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

This, our biggest issue of the year, isn’t complicated: We put you, the

readers, in charge of voting to determine the “best” of our city—roofers, chefs, nonprofits, restaurants, Instagram accounts, and several hundred other categories. In a city beset by counterfactual populism gone astray, we simply counted the ballots and printed the results. (If only the presidential election worked that way.)

It’s a testament to the District’s growth and welcoming nature that 50,956 people cast 137,335 votes in our 10th annual Best of D.C. Readers’ Poll, designating so many new names as winners and runners-up this year.

As always, City Paper writers have also weighed in with our own thoughts about the District’s superlatives. But it wasn’t without some degree of angst. You can imagine the internal discussions over what we should crown Best New Restaurant, given that 500 of them have opened here in the last two years. (If you can’t possibly wait, find the readers’ winner on p. 10 and our own pick on p. 18.)

Tuck on in.

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© 2017 Goose Island Beer Co., Goose IPA®, India Pale Ale, Chicago, IL | Enjoy responsibly.

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Even while the hop fields lie dormant, we’re preparing for the next crop that will become Goose IPA. Our brewers and the farmers at Elk Mountain Farm in Northern Idaho work together to carefully plan the planting of an entire year’s worth of great hops that make great IPA.

FOOD& DRINK Best Sandwich: Carolina On My Mind at Federalist Pig

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 7

ReaDeRs’ PIcKs FOOD & DRINK

Best AsiAn RestAuRAnt

Thip Khao

3462 14th St. NW, (202) 387-5426, thipkhao.com Readers Say: “Amazing and friendly” Runners Up: Beau Thai, Maketto

Best BAgel

Bullfrog Bagels

Best BBQ

Rocklands Barbeque and Grilling Company Multiple Locations, rocklands.com

Readers Say: “Always fresh, juicy, smokey, and delicious! Never fails to excite the senses!”

Runners Up: Hill Country Barbecue Market, DCity Smokehouse

Multiple Locations, bullfrogbagels.com

Best BeeR FestivAl

Readers Say: “Perfectly crisp on the outside and soft on the inside!”

Snallygaster

Runners Up: Bethesda Bagels, Bagel Uprising

Best BAkeRy

Whisked!

Multiple Locations, whiskeddc.com

snallygasterdc.com

Runners Up: DC Beer Festival, Savor

Best Bloody mARy

Logan Tavern

Runners Up: The Pretzel Bakery, Buttercream Bakeshop

1423 P St. NW, (202) 332-3710, logantavern.com

Best BAR

Runners Up: Buffalo & Bergen, Founding Farmers

The Park at Fourteenth

920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Readers Say: “Wonderful customer service” Runners Up: Boundary Stone Public House, Barrel

Best BAR with gAmes

Board Room

1737 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 5187666, boardroomdc.com Readers Say: “Great game selection AND great beer selection” Runners Up: Penn Social, H Street Country Club, Lyman’s Tavern

Best BARtendeR

Eddy Silva

Readers Say: “Service is great, the drinks are fantastic, personality is one of a kind!”

Runners Up: Lucas Lally, Yones Kutlu

Best Boozy milkshAke

Ted’s Bulletin

Multiple Locations, tedsbulletin.com

Best cRAFt BeeR selection

Red Apron Butcher

ChurchKey

Multiple Locations, redapronbutchery.com

Runners Up: Harvey’s Market, Stachowski’s Market

Best cheF

José Andrés

twitter.com/chefjoseandres Readers Say: “All his restaurants are great.”

Runners Up: Aaron Silverman, Erik Bruner-Yang, Kevin Tien

Best chinese

Mr. Chen’s

2604 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 7979668, mrchens.com Readers Say: “Great food. Great family.

Great time.”

Runners Up: Panda Gourmet, City Lights of China

Best cocktAil BAR

Copycat Co.

Runners Up: Satellite Room, The Diner

1110 H St. NE, (202) 241-1952, copycatcompany.com

Best BRew PuB

Readers Say: “Best Cocktails in D.C.”

Right Proper Brewing Company 624 T St. NW, (202) 607-2337, rightproperbrewing.com

Readers Say: “Always serving up a delightful brew for each season and GREAT food to fill out the meal.”

Runners Up: Bluejacket Brewery, Denizens

Runners Up: Columbia Room, Denson Liquor Bar

Best coFFee shoP

Commonwealth Joe Coffee Roasters

520 12th St. S, Suite 150, Arlington, (703) 892-1560, commonwealthjoe. com

3000 K St. NW, (202) 298-8783, farmersfishersbakers.com

Readers Say: “I cannot say enough wonderful things about this coffee shop!

I go every morning, and it is the perfect start to my day. Caring staff, amazing pour overs, and expertly crafted espresso make Commonwealth Joe’s the highlight of my morning.”

Readers Say: “Everything you can imagine...tremendous bar staff”

Best cRABcAke

Best BRunch

Farmers Fishers Bakers

Runners Up: Le Diplomate, Commissary

Best BuRgeR

Five Guys

Multiple Locations, fiveguys.com Runners Up: Duke’s Grocery, Good Stuff Eatery

8 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best ButcheR

Runners Up: Vigilante Coffee, Zeke’s Coffee

1337 14th St. NW, (202) 567-2576, churchkeydc.com Runners Up: Meridian Pint, Pizzeria Paradiso

Best cuPcAke

Baked & Wired

1052 Thomas Jefferson St. NW, (703) 663-8727, bakedandwired.com Readers Say: “Truly the best in D.C. Great selection—always fresh with healthy ingredients!”

Runners Up: Georgetown Cupcake, Sticky Fingers Sweets & Eats

Best distilleRy

New Columbia Distillers

1832 Fenwick St. NE, (202) 733-1710, newcolumbiadistillers.com Runners Up: Cotton & Reed, One Eight Distilling

Best dive BAR

The Pug

1234 H St. NE, (202) 636-0050, thepugdc.com Runners Up: Red Derby, Showtime Lounge

Best doughnuts

District Doughnut Multiple Locations, districtdoughnut.com

Readers Say: “ALWAYS the best. Can’t beat the quality and service.”

Runners Up: Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken, Duck Donuts

Best downtown lunch

&pizza

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Readers Say: “The pizza here is delicious and the endless customizable options for toppings are awesome!”

Runners Up: Founding Farmers, Buredo

The Park at Fourteenth

Ethiopic Restaurant

Runners Up: Old Ebbitt Grill, Rappahannock Oyster Bar

Runners Up: Dukem Ethiopian Restaurant, Keren Restaurant

920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com

Best ethioPiAn RestAuRAnt

401 H St. NE, (202) 675-2066, ethiopicrestaurant.com

FOOD& DRINK Best FAlAFel

Amsterdam Falafelshop

Multiple Locations, falafelshop.com Readers Say: “Hands down the best—no one else comes close!”

Runners Up: Cava Grill, Shawafel

Best FAst cAsuAl dining

&pizza

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Runners Up: California Tortilla, Cava Grill

Best Food Blog

Bitches Who Brunch bitcheswhobrunch.com

Runners Up: Eater DC, Young & Hungry

Best Food tRuck

Crepe Love Truck crepelovecatering.com

Readers Say: “One of the best food trucks in D.C. Finest crepes and service” Runners Up: Arepa Zone, Peruvian Brothers

Best FRench FRies

Five Guys

Multiple Locations, fiveguys.com Readers Say: “I’d break a diet for Five Guys fries.”

Runners Up: Amsterdam Falafelshop, Le Diplomate

Best FRied chicken

Blue 44 Restaurant and Bar

5507 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 3622583, blue44dc.com Readers Say: “Excellent fried chicken, three course meal for a steal every Monday night, best deal in the city”

Best Place to Have Dinner with Live Music: Songbyrd Music House

Runners Up: Barrel, Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken

Best gAy BAR/cluB

Nellie’s Sports Bar 900 U St. NW, (202) 332-6355, nelliessportsbar.com

Runners Up: Town Danceboutique, Trade

Best gelAto/ice cReAm

Ice Cream Jubilee

301 Water St. SE, (202) 863-0727, icecreamjubilee.com Readers Say: “We love their ice cream.

Not only do the small batches promote the freshest, most delicious ingredients, their flavors are inventive and a welcome departure from the same-old.

The only downside is their Buy 5, Get 1 pint promotion usually means we need to make room in our freezer for 6 pints!

Yum!” Runners Up: Dolcezza Gelato, Pitango Gelato

Best gluten-FRee menu

&pizza

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Runners Up: Rise Gluten Free Bakery, Commissary

Best hAngoveR BReAkFAst

The Pretzel Bakery 257 15th St. SE, (202) 450-6067, thepretzelbakery.com

Runners Up: Ted’s Bulletin, Commissary

Best hAPPy houR

Best iRish PuB

The Park at Fourteenth

Fadó Irish Pub & Restaurant

Readers Say: “Inexpensive and amazing tasty eats and drinks”

Runners Up: Dubliner, Nanny O’Brien’s Irish Pub

Runners Up: DC Reynolds, Hot N Juicy Crawfish

Best itAliAn RestAuRAnt

Best indiAn RestAuRAnt

Lavagna

920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com

Rasika

633 D St. NW, (202) 637-1222, rasikarestaurant.com Readers Say: “Real upscale Indian flavors and creative menu”

808 7th St. NW, (202) 789-0066, fadoirishpub.com

539 8th St. SE, (202) 546-5006, lavagnadc.com Readers Say: “Local ingredients, house made pasta, and the BEST service!”

Runners Up: Acqua Al 2, Osteria Morini

Runners Up: Indique, Indigo

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 9

FOOD& DRINK Best neighBoRhood BAR

Best Tater Tots: Sticky Rice

The Pub and the People

1648 North Capitol St. NW, (202) 2341800, thepubandthepeople.com Readers Say: “A social experience where good food, friendly service, [and] fair prices bring people together to explore and understand the meaning and value of being and belonging to the community of NoMa.” Runners Up: The Blaguard, Boundary Stone Public House

Best new AmeRicAn RestAuRAnt

Farmers & Distillers

600 Massachusetts Ave. NW, (202) 464-3001, farmersanddistillers.com Readers Say: “Great food, great atmosphere, great time” Runners Up: Rose’s Luxury, The Dabney

Best new BAR (tie)

ANXO Cidery & Pintxos Bar

300 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 986-3795, anxodc.com

Best JAPAnese

Daikaya

705 6th St. NW, (202) 589-1600, daikaya.com Readers Say: “I regularly dream about eating their ramen.”

Runners Up: Sushi Taro, Izakaya Seki

Best kABoB

Moby Dick House Of Kabob

Multiple Locations, mobyskabob.com Readers Say: “Love the kubidah!”

Runners Up: Kabob Palace, Ravi Kabob House

Best kid-FRiendly RestAuRAnt

&pizza

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Readers Say: “Bring your kids to this wonderful pizza palace. They will love it.”

Runners Up: California Tortilla, Ted’s Bulletin

Best koReAn

Mandu

Multiple Locations, mandudc.com Readers Say: “Particularly for Sunday brunch!”

Runners Up: Honey Pig Korean BBQ, Kogiya Korean BBQ, TaKorean

Best lAte night eAts

&pizza

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Readers Say: “Until 3-4 a.m. Just the best pizza in the USA!” Runners Up: Amsterdam Falafelshop, The Diner

The food truck that parks outside is excellent.”

Runners Up: Port City Brewing Company, 3 Stars Brewing Company

Best mARgARitA

Taqueria el Poblano

Best lAtin AmeRicAn RestAuRAnt

Multiple Locations, taqueriapoblano. com

Esencias Panameñas Restaurant & Catering

Readers Say: “Hands down best margaritas I’ve ever had, and I’ve lived in Texas and visited SoCal multiple times.”

3322 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 6887250, esenciaspanamenas.com

Runners Up: Oyamel Cocina Mexicana, El Centro D.F.

Readers Say: “Very good cultural food from Panama, a touch of Panamanian food and West Indian”

Best middle eAsteRn RestAuRAnt

Runners Up: Oyamel Cocina Mexicana, Taqueria Habanero

Zaytinya

701 9th St. NW, (202) 638-0800, zaytinya.com

Best locAl BReweRy

Readers Say: “Never disappoints.”

Fair Winds Brewing Company

Best mussels

7000 Newington Road, Suite K and L, Lorton, (703) 372-2001, fairwindsbrewing.com

Readers Say: “A well-run, Veteranowned brewery. Good selection of beer styles available. Full-flavored and high quality beers. The tap room has a fun atmosphere, open, comfortable, great for socializing, or coming with your kids.

10 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Runners Up: Lebanese Taverna, Mama Ayesha’s

Granville Moore’s

1238 H St. NE, (202) 399-2546, granvillemoores.com Readers Say: “OMG, best selections in D.C.” Runners Up: Belga Cafe, St. Arnold’s Mussel Bar

Readers Say: “This is a true find. The architecture and decor are stunning. The bartenders are so knowledgable. You will fall in love with cider here.”

Cotton & Reed

1330 5th St. NE, (202) 544-2805, cottonandreed.com Readers Say: “Amazing, airy industrial space w/custom rum cocktails!”

Runners Up: Service Bar, The Midlands

Best new RestAuRAnt

The Bird

1337 11th St. NW, (202) 518-3609, thebirddc.com Readers Say: “Good food (wing appetizer, duck meatballs, fried chicken, duck breast, whole Amish chicken), attentive & knowledgeable staff, good wine list, reasonably priced. Good desserts. Waiting for roof and street patios to open” Runners Up: Himitsu, Pineapple and Pearls

Best Pho

Pho 14

Multiple Locations, dcpho14.com Readers Say: “Great broths and topping selection” Runners Up: Pho Viet, Pho 75

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 11

FOOD& DRINK Best Pizza

Best rooftoP Bar

Best souP

&pizza

POV

Soupergirl

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Readers Say: “Quick service, great prices, incredible ingredients and selection. The staff is good to go!

Farmer’s Daughter pizza with eggs is my favorite. After writing this I need to head there right now.”

Runners Up: Timber Pizza, Ledo Pizza

Best Place to Have Dinner witH live Music

Songbyrd Music House

2477 18th St. NW, (202) 450-2917, songbyrddc.com Readers Say: “Songbyrd manages to showcase the best of many different musical genres, both live music and DJs. It’s obvious they truly care about doing this and are not just out to make money.

The staff is always friendly and they help make it the kind of place where you feel comfortable even being there alone.”

515 15th St. NW, (202) 661-2400, povrooftop.com Readers Say: “Creative cocktails with an amazing view!”

Runners Up: Roofers Union, Penthouse Pool Club

Best sanDwicH

Earl’s Sandwiches Multiple Locations, earlsinarlington.com

Readers Say: “Always fresh and tasty, and served by a friendly staff” Runners Up: SUNdeVICH, Taylor Gourmet

Best seafooD

Hot N Juicy Crawfish

2651 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 2999448, hotnjuicycrawfish.com Readers Say: “Always fresh. Great range of spices, varied menu, and a fun place to eat.”

Runners Up: The Park at Fourteenth, The Hamilton

Runners Up: Hank’s Oyster Bar, Fiola Mare

Best restaurant

Town Hall DC

Hot N Juicy Crawfish

2651 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 2999448, hotnjuicycrawfish.com Readers Say: “If you want to eat good, go there.”

Runners Up: Rose’s Luxury, Pineapple and Pearls

Best restaurant wHen soMeone else Pays

Pineapple and Pearls 715 8th St. SE, (202) 595-7375, pineappleandpearls.com

Readers Say: “Thank god for expense reports and bonuses, this is the best meal I’ve ever had in my life!”

Runners Up: Fiola Mare, Rose’s Luxury

Best singles Bar

2340 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 3335640, townhalldc.com Runners Up: The Park at Fourteenth, The Wonderland Ballroom

Best slice of Pizza

Wiseguy NY Pizza

300 Massachusetts Ave. NW, #1, (202) 408-7800, wiseguynypizza.com Readers Say: “As a Jersey girl, this is the only place I’ve been to that even comes close to replicating an authentic slice.

And those garlic knots? Yes, please.”

Runners Up: Duccini’s, Pete’s New Haven Style Apizza

Best sMall Plates

Best restaurant wHen you Pay

Jaleo

&pizza

Readers Say: “Variety and quality!!”

Multiple Locations, andpizza.com Runners Up: Commissary, Rose’s Luxury

Best restaurant witH a view

Fiola Mare

The Washington Harbour, 3050 K St. NW, (202) 628-0065, fiolamaredc.com

Multiple Locations, jaleo.com/dc Runners Up: Zaytinya, Ambar

Best soul fooD

Oohh’s & Aahh’s

1005 U St. NW, (202) 667-7142, oohhsnaahhs.com Runners Up: Florida Avenue Grill, NuVegan Café

Runners Up: Cantina Marina, Sequoia

Multiple Locations, thesoupergirl.com Readers Say: “Their soups are amazing ... filling, satisfying, and DELICIOUS!” Runners Up: Sakuramen Ramen Bar, Prescription Chicken

Best sPice sHoP

The Spice Suite

6902 4th St. NW, (202) 506-3436, thespicesuite.com Readers Say: “Hands down the best international spice shop EVER!” Runners Up: Bazaar Spices, Penzeys Spices

Best sPorts Bar

Nellie’s Sports Bar 900 U St. NW, (202) 332-6355, nelliessportsbar.com

Runners Up: Lou’s City Bar, Union Pub

Best steakHouse

BLT Steak

1625 I St. NW, (202) 689-8999, bltrestaurants.com/blt-steak/ washington-d-c Readers Say: “Melt in your mouth steaks plus other delicious entrees, sides. Excellent service (e.g. never see the bottom of your water glass). Very friendly atmosphere. Comfortable; not rushed. Our favorite D.C. restaurant!”

Runners Up: Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, Bourbon Steak, Ray’s the Steaks

Best tater tots

Sticky Rice

1224 H St. NE, (202) 397-7655, stickyricedc.com Readers Say: “And best sauce for tots!”

Runners Up: Tonic, Union Pub

Best tHai restaurant

Beau Thai

Multiple Locations, beauthaidc.com Readers Say: “Fabulous, delicious, authentic Thai food! Welcoming and professional staff! Love Beau Thai!”

Runners Up: Thai X-ing, Baan Thai

Best trivia Bar

Nanny O’Brien’s

3319 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 6869189, nannyobriens.com Readers Say: “One of my favorite places to grab a drink and play some trivia! The host Gordon is what really keeps me coming back.”

Runners Up: Nellie’s Sports Bar, Union Pub

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Best vegan/vegetarian restaurant

Fare Well

406 H St. NE, (202) 367-9600, eatfarewell.com Readers Say: “So yummy! I’m not vegan btw. Amazing. Yum!” Runners Up: NuVegan Café, Soupergirl

Best vietnaMese

Pho 14

Multiple Locations, dcpho14.com Readers Say: “Delicious varieties of Viet food!”

Runners Up: Pho Viet, Four Sisters

Best wHiskey selection

Jack Rose Dining Saloon

2007 18th St. NW, (202) 588-7388, jackrosediningsaloon.com Readers Say: “No one else can compete. The walls are filled with hundreds of whiskeys to try. The staff is helpful and it is a whiskey lover’s dream.”

Runners Up: Barrel, Bourbon

Best wine Bar

The Pursuit Wine Bar 1421 H St. NE, (202) 758-2139, thepursuitwinebar.com Readers Say: “Yay...Flights!”

Runners Up: Ruta del Vino, Vinoteca

Best wine list

Proof

775 G St. NW, (202) 737-7663, proofdc. com Runners Up: Zaytinya, Del Frisco’s Grille

Best wings

Duffy’s Irish Pub

2106 Vermont Ave. NW, (202) 4629464, dcduffys.com Readers Say: “Great wings, Awesome staff. Dry rub to die for.”

Runners Up: The Park at Fourteenth, Wingo’s

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staFF PIcKs FOOD & DRINK

Laura Hayes

Best Seafood Tower That’s Too Pretty To Eat: Whaley’s

Best Fancy Pizza: Timber Pizza Co. River Keeper oysters from Virginia, clams, poached mussels with lemon vinaigrette, smoked catfish rillette, grilled calamari with fish sauce vinaigrette, sea urchin with sea salt and chives, poached shrimp, poached lobster, and the crudo of the day. A tower’s best taken al fresco with a view of the river and a glass of Chenin Blanc. Seafood towers start at $65 for 2-3 people.

—Laura Hayes

Best Outdoor Dining Iron Gate Restaurant

1734 N St. NW, (202) 524-5202, irongaterestaurantdc.com

history buffs, naturE enthusiasts, and hopeless romantics will all be happy dining in Iron Gate’s courtyard. While the inside of the restaurant has historic gravitas because it’s housed in what were once stables for a cavalry officer during the Civil War, the patio is preferable because it’s shrouded in grapevines and 100-year-old wisteria, creating a secret garden canopy effect. Chef Tony Chittum recently switched things up, making it possible to get the restaurant’s tasting menu al fresco, which should make diners want go to go all-in instead of sticking to Greek-inspired small plates. The patio is even enchanting in the winter when it’s dotted with fire pits.

—Laura Hayes

Best Fancy Pizza Timber Pizza Co.

809 Upshur St. NW, (202) 8539746, timberpizza.com

EvEryonE won whEn Timber Pizza Co. exited pop-up purgatory and landed a brick-andmortar space in Petworth. The casual restaurant with a giant, copper-colored wood-fire oven is an easy place to hang and split pies with friends. Founders Andrew Dana and Chris Bra-

dy call their pizza “Neapolitan-ish,” and Chef Daniela Moreira tops them primarily with ingredients sourced from the farmers markets where they got their start. The Bentley is devourable with cured chorizo, sopressata, Peruvian sweet peppers, and spicy honey ($16), as is The Ackley with butternut squash, arugulalemon pesto, sweet potato fritters, and pumpkin seeds ($15.50). The pizza dough empanadas are also a must try (3 for $6). —Laura Hayes

14 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Seafood Tower That’s Too Pretty To Eat Whaley’s

301 Water St. SE No. 115, (202) 484-8800, whaleysdc.com

LikE oLivia wiLdE, the seafood tower at Whaley’s has style and substance. The threetiered beauty bests the competition with its next-level ocean bounty: pristinely shucked

Best Pop-Up Bird’s Eye

1800 14th St. NW, (202) 7335131, doimoidc.com

whEn you think of Doi Moi, you probably don’t think of sandwiches. That’s changing thanks to this phenomenal lunchtime popup on Fridays and Saturdays spearheaded by Chef Sasha Felikson. It’s a tight menu with only three options, all inspired by Vietnamese banh mi sandwiches. If you must pick just

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FOOD& DRINK

loos crumbs, though others come dressed up with dark or white chocolate shards, coffee, or violet powder. Though they are sweet and dairy-rich, there’s an airy lightness to the eye-catching pastries, so you don’t feel like you’re overindulging too much.

—Nevin Martell

Best Place to Eat When You’re Baked

serves a no-substitutions, seven-course tasting menu for $49. The food itself is a flavor and textural playground, and each bite tastes like the moment the Wizard of Oz cha-chings into color. The subterranean restaurant is dark enough that no one will judge you for behavior like licking plates, drinking milk to tame spice you rightfully think will kill you, or asking for a third basket of sticky rice. And when you leave, you’ll definitely think your server is your BFF. She’s not.

—Laura Hayes

Little Serow

1511 17th St. NW, littleserow.com

dEcisions arE thE enemy when you’re stoned, so put Little Serow in the driver’s seat.

The Thai restaurant from Chef Johnny Monis

Best Place to Eat When You’re Baked: Little Serow: one, order the small torpedo baguette packed with a belly-filling crispy rice cake—soft and glutinous on the inside with a crispy exterior pleasantly reminiscent of the grains that stick to the bottom of the wok during a stir-fry— complemented by pickled carrots and daikon for crunch and acid ($12). Don’t forget a side of the curry fries with Thai-spiced ranch dressing for dipping ($5).

—Nevin Martell

Best Bathroom To Feel Better About Your Body 2 Birds 1 Stone

1800 14th St. NW, 2birds1stonedc.com

rEmEmbEr back in the day, REALLY far back in the day, when a little cushion for the pushin’ was appreciated? When lovers preferred their women without Soul Cyclesculpted tushies or thighs that didn’t touch?

The first bathroom on the left at 2 Birds 1 Stone reminds us of this long lost definition of beauty. It also provides some sex position inspiration that comes off as way more feasible than anything in the Kama Sutra. Don’t leave this underground cocktail lair without a stop at the loo.

—Laura Hayes

Best Korean-Japanese Fried Chicken Himitsu

Himitsu, 828 Upshur St. NW, himitsudc.com

thE worLd is a better place because of Kevin Tien’s fried chicken ($18), one of the most primally satisfying dishes in recent memory.

He dredges buttermilk-brined chicken thighs in a combination of flour, cornstarch, and potato starch, creating crags perfect for catching sauce and delivering a satisfying crunch.

After the golden-toned cluckers come out of the deep fryer, they’re brushed with plenty of Korean gochujang, a funky-spicy-sweet-umami-rich sauce, and served with bread and butter pickles and Japanese Kewpie mayonnaise.

Regulars know to get it with a side of rice that boasts a nice touch of tang, thanks to the addition of rice wine vinegar. —Nevin Martell

Best Sweet Treat Un Je Ne Sais Quoi

1361 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 721-0099, facebook.com/unjenesaisquoipastry

mErvEiLLEux mEans “wondErfuL” in French, which is fitting for these craveinducing cakes ($2.50-$5). A pair of meringues sandwiching whipped cream or ganache is encased by a slathering of thick whipped cream, creating a satisfying velveteen-crunchy contrast when you plunge your fork into the snowball-like confection.

The standout version is speckled in specu-

16 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Restaurant Bad Saint

3226 11th St. NW, badsaintdc.com

bad saint’s humbLE rise to fame has been the Cinderella story that’s captivated the city. What started as a pop-up that drew snaking lines back in 2014 at the Dolcezza Factory near Union Market has gone national, nay international, thanks to Bon Appetit naming the pocket Filipino eatery the second best restaurant in America.

But enough talk of accolades, the proof is in the pancit. Tangy, funky, boring-averse hits from Chef Tom Cunanan have included kinilaw (mackerel served ceviche-style with red grapefruit and coconut), ukoy (a fried nest of shellfish and veggies), ginisang ampalaya (bitter melon with farm egg and preserved black beans), and ginisang tulya (littleneck clams, Chinese sausage, and coconut milk).

Owners Nick Pimentel and Genevieve Villamora took a cuisine that wasn’t quite on the map and made people fiend for it. They accomplished this by not only delivering on the food front, but also by providing warm hospitality in a shoebox setting where diners can watch the chefs work their woks.

The food-friendly cocktails ($13) at Bad Saint from Sean MacPherson and Gavin Pierce of Room 11 whisk you away on a vacation you didn’t know you needed with tropical ingredients like Bittermans Tepache (pineapple liqueur), coconut liqueur, and Banane du Brèsil. There’s also a small selection of cider and Filipino beers like Red Horse Extra Strong Brew. Not into booze?

Sip a green mango bay leaf soda.

All the hype, combined with a culture of diners eager to try new cuisines, has birthed long lines that wrap along the block in Columbia Heights, but hey, that’s what adult coloring books and thermoses full of vermouth are for.

—Laura Hayes

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FOOD& DRINK Best Equal Opportunity Bathroom Bantam King

501 G St. NW, (202) 733-2612, bantamking.com

it’s hard to believe with everything else going on that one of the most divisive issues of our time is who gets to use which bathroom. As a way of acknowledging and accepting the diversity of gender identities, the doors of Bantam King’s WCs read, “Kings Queens & Errrbody.” It’s a hipster-y polite way of saying, “Take your bathroom bills and shove them, because everyone is welcome here.” Inside, there is a display of artfully composed cock portraits. We’re talking about pictures of roosters, of course. What was your dirty little mind thinking?

—Nevin Martell

Best Bar to Get an Education ANXO Cidery & Pintxos Bar 300 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 986-3795, anxodc.com

at somE bars, servers balk if you ask them questions like, “What the hell is falernum?”

Not so at Basque-inspired ANXO Cidery & Pintxos Bar, where the staff is itching to educate the clientele about their star beverage— cider. My husband once asked so many questions at the Truxton Circle restaurant that I was already plotting my revenge involving

Kool-Aid and the shower head. But Cerrissa Fitz happily waxed poetic about what makes some ciders “structured,” and others “bright.”

Others should freely do the same.

—Laura Hayes

Best Single-Issue Bar Espita Mezcaleria

1250 9th St NW, (202) 621-9695, espitadc.com

in a singLE year, Espita Mezcaleria has turned the entire city into a bunch of copitasipping, mezcal-mad enthusiasts. The team of general manager Josh Phillips, a certified mezcalier, and beverage director Megan Barnes has shown us all the light, thanks to a robust and diverse list of approximately 100 mezcals, inventive flights, and great cocktails. The staff is also armed with the knowledge and expertise to explain the ins and outs of the spirit.

The list could be larger than it is too, but Espita sticks to its credo of including only worthwhile selections from producers it wants to support.

—Jake Emen

Best Self-Pity Snack Croqueta Preparada at Colada Shop 1405 T St. NW, (202) 3328800, coladashop.com

most fLock to Colada Shop for the $8 cocktails, coffee that’ll wake you up into next week, and Cubano sandwiches. But when you’re really feeling low, there’s another sandwich to Best Single-Issue Bar: Espita Mezcaleria Beverage Director Megan Barnes

Best New Restaurant Hazel

808 V St. NW, (202) 847-4980, hazelrestaurant.com

whiLE most of the ingredients at Hazel are familiar, the way Chef Rob Rubba combines them is other-worldly, and that makes for a dinner that’s full of surprises. Take the Shaw restaurant’s signature dish, for example—who would have thought to pair griddled zucchini bread (Rubba’s grandmother’s recipe) with a jar of foie gras mousse topped with chamomile gelee and bee pollen ($15).

Then there’s the steak tartare, which invites guests to smash crispy, golden tater tots into a mound of minced rare beef topped with caramelized onion dip ($15). It’s hard not to feel like a demonic toddler playing with food, but that playfulness is exactly what Rubba is going for with his globally-inspired cuisine.

Rubba has worked for big names like Gordon Ramsay, Charlie Trotter, and George Perrier, but Hazel, in partnership with Neighborhood Restaurant Group, is his first solo restaurant.

It opened in June with a menu of sharable, medium-sized dishes plus the “Ducked Up” family-style meal. Those who are ambivalent about duck need not apply because it’s a Rohan duck extravaganza that feeds two to three guests for $95. It comes with roasted duck breast, crispy wings, kimchi-confit fried rice, duck sausage, and more.

The drinks are just as fun. They range from trendy orange wines and sour beers to cocktails from Megan Coyle divided into two categories, “delicate” and “complex.” Kick things off with the “Power Play” containing gin, Montenegro Amaro, persimmon vinegar, and chocolate-mole bitters ($13) or the “Transfigurations” with vermouth, rhum agricole, dry Curacao, and fermented lime ($11).

Other factors that make Hazel best-new-restaurant material include the fact that it boasts an expansive, colorful patio for outdoor dining; a playlist of old-school hip hop and punk; a brunch menu that includes delights like curry squash donuts and breakfast donburi; and the restaurant’s house hot sauce called “Fire Panda” that you can purchase and bring home. —Laura Hayes 18 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

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FOOD& DRINK Best Japanese: Sushi Taro

get on your radar. The Croqueta Preparada is essentially a ham and cheese sandwich on Cuban bread that also contains squashed croquetas in all their fried glory. It’s like someone thought of putting a giant tater tot between bread but way better. Soak up your sorrows for $9.98.

—Laura Hayes

Best Bar to Blow Your 401K Columbia Room

124 Blagden Alley NW, (202) 3169396, columbiaroomdc.com

in a town filled with tasting menus, Columbia Room stands out by focusing on the drinks.

A three-course or five-course lineup includes excellent small bites from the kitchen, but the booze is the star of the show. The menus, $79 and $108, respectively, actually provide great value thanks to the quality of the ingredients they use and their exacting presentations, but there’s an even bigger way to ball out at the Shaw bar. Check out the vintage spirits list and try a Napoleon Cognac from 1811 for $950/ounce, or a Rhum Clement from 1819 for $300. It’s like drinking history—which is perfect, because that’s what your 401k will be when you’re finished.

—Jake Emen

Best Japanese Sushi Taro

1503 17th St. NW, (202) 4628999, sushitaro.com

whEn you’rE in the secret back room of Sushi Taro and gazing through a window at bamboo during the restaurant’s omakase experience, it’s truly impossible to believe you’re still in the U.S. of A. instead of halfway across the world in Tokyo. And that’s before Chef Nobu Yamazaki has sliced a single piece of fish from Tsukiji Market. But you don’t have to fly firstclass at the 30-year-old restaurant to taste Japan. Lunch bento boxes, happy hour, the ala-carte dinner menu, and the restaurant’s reasonably priced kaiseki tastings also contribute to making Sushi Taro the city’s Japanese food authority.

—Laura Hayes

Best Winery to Avoid Bachelorette Parties Linden Vineyards

3708 Harrels Corner Road, Linden, (540) 364-1997, lindenvineyards.com

somE pEopLE don’t want babies at wineries and others don’t like dogs. If you want to enjoy Viognier without being interrupted by a woman in a tiara and sash—who is not royalty—and a half dozen of her besties shrieking for rosé, head to Linden Vineyards in Fauquier County.

Not only has owner-winemaker Jim Law been making some of the best wine in Virginia for

20 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Tasting Menu Ripple

3417 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 244-7995, rippledc.com

ryan ratino’s dishEs are as easy on the wallet as they are the eyes and stomach. The new executive chef at Ripple took over about four months ago, and he’s already making a splash with a new tasting menu that goes for an affordable $59 per person with an optional $40 wine pairing.

The tasting menu is a big change for Ripple, a Cleveland Park institution that caters to its regulars with a-la-carte comfort food. Ratino offers something next level for the neighborhood to nosh on.

“We wanted to make sure the menu creates a dining experience that makes guests really think about what they are eating,” Ratino says, adding that he’s focused on sustainability and seasonality.

Dive into the artist’s palette that is Ratino’s beet salad featuring beets five ways: raw, juiced, dehydrated, roasted, and pickled. It’s sensory overload, and the flavors on this starter are heightened by accompanying gooseberries, curried yogurt, and fennel.

Up next is Ratino’s favorite dish—an unassuming hen egg that’s filled with layers of savory surprises. Your server will encourage you to mix the dish for maximum effect. Do as instructed, blending black truffles, foamy mashed potatoes, burnt onions, a cured egg yolk, and crispy sweetbreads. Ratino calls the dish “a treasure chest of delights.”

Spring for the wine pairings too, which are selected by Jose Aguirre, the general manager and wine director who’s in the process of taking the certified sommelier exam.

Talk to Ratino or Aguirre long enough, and they’ll tell you that they’re eyeing a bigger prize: Michelin stars. “Do I want third-party verification that we are trying to reach the zenith in quality for neighborhood restaurants?” Aguirre asks. “You betcha.”

—Tim Ebner

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FOOD& DRINK more than 35 years, the winery doesn’t allow groups larger than four and has specific policies against, well, parties. No buses. No WiFi. No outside food. No events. Unless you’re a member of their case club, you can’t even drink on the deck or winery grounds on weekends. Are the rules worth it? If you cringe when seeing a feather boa in a tasting room, the answer is yes. Red wine fans will enjoy the 2014 Petit Verdot on the regular tasting menu. It’s among the top expressions of the varietal in the Mid-Atlantic.

—Jessica Strelitz

Best Round-TheClock Eating The Royal

The Royal, 501 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 332-7777, theroyaldc.com

The Royal does the whole day-to-night thing better than the sun itself. In the morning, the LeDroit Park eatery is perfect for a graband-go cortado and a guava pastry. In the afternoon, it’s an ideal place to telework thanks to the Wi-Fi (until 5 p.m. weekdays and from 11 a.m. on weekends), a variety of seating options, and uninterrupted access to arepas. In the evening, they push boundaries with cool cocktails that pair well with steak frites, a satisfying burger, and the fried chicken sandwich.

The first Monday of the month is a great time to visit because the bar welcomes guest bartenders for its “Royal Knights” series.

—Laura Hayes

Best Dumplings You Won’t Find at Dim Sum Lapis

1847 Columbia Road NW, (202) 299-9630, lapisdc.com

The woRd “dumpling” usually invokes images of fried Chinese wontons, Japanese

gyoza, and steamed Korean mandu. But did you know Afghan cuisine also has a couple takes called aushak and mantoo? Both can be sampled at Adams Morgan’s Michelin-recommended, family-run Afghan restaurant. Lapis’ aushak ($12) are pillowy pockets of deliciousness stuffed with sautéed leeks, doused in a bright, savory split pea and tomato sauce, and then crowned with dollops of tangy yogurt and a sprinkling of dried herbs. Mantoo come in beef ($12) and shrimp ($13) flavors and with different sauces. You won’t want any other kind of dumplings after you’ve tried these delicate nuggets.

—Priya Konings

Best Bite at Union Market Salmon BLT at Neopol Savory Smokery

1309 5th St. NE, (202) 5431864, neopolsmokery.com

iT’s easy To find Neopol Savory Smokery in Union Market. Just make like Toucan Sam and follow your nose. The smokery serves an array of sandwiches, but the salmon BLT is top of the line with its house-smoked Duroc bacon, thick flaked salmon, greens, tomato, red onion, and lemon-dill aioli ($9.95). Unlike thinly shaved lox, this sandwich calls for a whole salmon filet that’s been smoked using apple and cherry wood, so you really have something to bite into that will satisfy your hunger for the rest of the day.

—Laura Hayes

Best Restaurant You Probably Haven’t Been To Obelisk

2029 P St. NW, (202) 872-1180, obeliskdc.com

i’m always afRaid to tell people about Obelisk, lest my favorite restaurant in town

Best Dumplings You Won’t Find at Dim Sum: Lapis 22 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Tacos Taco Bamba

164 Maple Ave. W., Vienna, (703) 436-6339, tacobamba.com

“mosT TaqueRias jusT have cilantro, onion, and radishes for garnishes,” says Chef Victor Albisu as he shows off his sprawling garnish station at his rock ’n’ rolled vibed Taco Bamba in Vienna, Virginia. (The original location is in Falls Church, and a Springfield outlet is on the way later this year.) There are roughly 30 toppers, including ground chicharrones, candied chilies, spicy cojita cheese, shishito peppers, sesame seeds, and crispy fried shallots. Obviously, Taco Bamba is not your average taqueria. But that’s the point.

The menu of two dozen or so ever-evolving tacos features “tradicionale” flavors like carne asada, barbacoa, and tinga ($3 each) as well as more creative options, which Albisu calls “nuestros” (ours).

The crunch-packed Bulgogi Bullfight ($4) dresses up Korean-style pork with deep-fried Brussels sprouts tossed in kimchi vinaigrette, gochujang-peanut-Romesco, and crushed peanuts. The Arabe ($4) offers a Mexican interpretation of chicken souvlaki with spicy yogurt and cucumber pico de gallo. Meanwhile, El Gringo ($4) is a shameless and utterly delicious high-end take on Taco Bell. Subbing in a cheese quesadilla for the usual doubled-up tortillas, it comes jammed full of ground beef, shredded iceberg lettuce, bacon bits, and house-made ranch dressing.

Albisu has several cardinal rules for crafting a memorable taco. “The textures have to be interesting,” he says. “It can’t just be soft on soft on soft,” he says. “The flavor has to blow your face off. And our tacos are a little more generous, a little heartier, a little bigger.”

Ultimately, Albisu’s inventive tacos are bolder, brassier, and highly memorable, making them worth the drive out to the suburbs.

—Nevin Martell

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FOOD& DRINK

did not ride it home for fear of my life, and I had only nursed one cocktail. Just look at the names of the tiki drinks for foreshadowing— like “Going Down with the Ship” or “All Bets Are Off ”—and you’ll know where your fragile sobriety is headed. Fortunately, the tipples are worth the quick, overwhelming buzz, especially the banana daiquiri and “Pineapple of Hospitality” for two. Protect yourself with an order of Chinese BBQ pork nachos or the jerk chicken sandwich.

—Laura Hayes

Best Hangover Cure Sopa de Reys at La Casita Pupuseria & Market

8214 Piney Branch Road, Silver Spring, (301) 588-6656, lacasitapupusas.com

to go from barely conscious to cognizant in just a few hours, head to La Casita Pupuseria & Market in Silver Spring, Maryland. This authentic Salvadorian restaurant serves a beef broth stew that is a saving grace for the seriously hungover. This traditional Salvadoran

Best Bar Dram & Grain

2007 18th St NW, (202) 607-1572, facebook.com/DramandGrain

Best Boozeless Buzz: Runningbyrd Tea become overrun with crowds. That’s because the tiny eatery has just a dozen tables in a minimalist room on P Street in Dupont Circle. Every night, Chef Peter Pastan serves a seasonal, five-course menu for less than $100 a person. The meal opens with burrata so creamy it melts before moving on to a flurry of antipasti like stuffed squash blossoms, arancini, and farro salad. Delicate stuffed pasta, often served in a simple butter sauce, is next and the highlight of the meal. An Italian cheese course followed by desserts like chocolate cake and house-made gelato make for a sweet sendoff. If you aren’t drooling, I can’t help you.

—Priya Konings

Best Place to Eat Alone Izakaya Seki

1117 V St. NW, (202) 588-5841, sekidc.com

somEtimEs you just need a moment to yourself without family, co-workers, or CNN. Grab a stool on Izakaya Seki’s first floor and order all the silky udon noodles and fresh cut sashimi you want, knowing, for once, you don’t have to share. Instead of relying on your phone to ease your dining-alone anxieties, watch Chef Hiroshi Seki as he deftly handles slabs of tuna with varying fat content or as he hides pinches of pickled plum in onigiri (rice balls). The Japanese-style pub cranks out food fast so you won’t have to fly solo for an awkward amount of time.

—Laura Hayes

Best Boozeless Buzz Runningbyrd Tea

Multiple locations, runningbyrdteacompany.com

bEn byrd, foundEr of Runningbyrd Tea, wants you to know there’s a better way to get buzzed—skip the booze and reach for one of his jars of small-batched, local teas.

Find them at grocery stores like Whole Foods and Yes! Organic, or in restaurants like &pizza, Taylor Gourmet, TaKorean, and The Italian Store. Byrd has a rich tradition of brewing. He’s been making tea for 17 years and learned from his grandfather Marion Montgomery, who always kept a full fridge on his back porch. Montgomery is also the namesake for one of Runningbyrd’s top-selling teas—Montgomery Mint—a refreshing peppermint tea capable of cutting through summer heat in D.C. It’s also a great mixer with bourbon or whiskey.

For bolder flavors, try Lemongrass White Peach, Shenandoah Smoke, or Spiced Thai.

—Tim Ebner

Best Cocktails When You Want to be One and Done Archipelago

1201 U St. NW, (202) 627-0794, archipelagobardc.com

onE timE i rode my bike to Archipelago. I

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this pEtit basEmEnt bar in the belly of Jack Rose Dining Saloon opened in 2014 when the speakeasy drum was beating harder than the “In the Air Tonight” solo. To make reservations you had to text a burner phone, and to access it, you had to practically walk through the Jack Rose kitchen.

That’s still true, but any notion that you’re partaking in a gimmick subsides once the drinks start flowing. Bar bosses Trevor Frye and Nick Lowe kicked things off, but Dram & Grain is now in the capable hands of Benny Hurwitz, Andy Bixby, and Morgan Kirchner.

The latest iteration of the menu creatively showcases drinks from five stand-out cocktail cities: Tokyo, London, Havana, New Orleans, and San Francisco. The “Hai Baller,” for example, tips its hat to Tokyo with mizu shochu, Suntory Whisky Toki, Fuji apple soda, and a burdock chip ($14), while “Gnome for the Holidays” celebrates London with Absolut Elyx Vodka, housemade cacao liqueur, Becherovka, mint gomme syrup, and lemon ($15).

The “Gnome for the Holidays” comes in a gold-gilded gnome that will make other patrons immediately jealous. It’s one example of how the Dram & Grain team goes to great lengths to present drinks in memorable ways.

Finally, if you’re more of a spirits nerd, don’t skip ordering nips of booze from the bar’s vintage collection that dates as far back as the 1880s.

As Dram & Grain evolved, it became a little more accessible. Wednesdays and Thursdays are open to the public sans reservations starting at 7 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays remain for reservations-only, which are offered in 2.5-hour seatings beginning at 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. There’s a two-drink minimum for reservations, which can be made by texting (202) 607-1572. —Laura Hayes

Best Brewery 3 Stars Brewing Company

6400 Chillum Pl NW, (202) 670-0333, 3starsbrewing.com

Part of the fun of 3 Stars Brewing Company is that you don’t just want to drink the beer. You want to drink beer WITH the co-founders of the Chillum Place brewery—Dave Coleman and Mike McGarvey. The jolly, burly duo had a big year. They doubled their production to 5,000 barrels annually, announced they’d be expanding into an adjacent property, gaining 7,000 square feet for additional fermentation and a restaurant, and they hired head brewer Brandon Millhouse, who brings years of experience to a place where creativity is king.

On trend as always, 3 Stars was an early adopter of the sour beer craze. “In 2016, we started releasing beers out of the funkerdome,” Coleman says. “We built it in 2015 and started squirreling beers in there with different bacteria, but they take a while to age.” Those brews include the Rickey Rose that’s barrel-fermented with blackberries and Two-Headed Unicorn, made in collaboration with Charm City Meadworks.

But 3 Stars has more than sours. The ever-thirsty IPA crowd, for example, can rejoice because every two weeks the brewery rolls out a different double IPA in 16.5-ounce cans like Pounding Trees and #Ultrafresh. Finally, dark beer fans have Courting the Squall to turn to. The roasty, toasty oatmeal stout is only 5.5 percent ABV, making it more slammable than other stouts.

Though the brewery now distributes to Virginia, Maryland, and New York, it still screams “made in D.C.” From the “Urban Farmhouse” tasting room that’s a great place to spend a Saturday (or get married!) to the one-off collaborations the brewery does with area restaurants, 3 Stars epitomizes what it means to be local.

—Laura Hayes

T H A N K YO U

for voting us for Best Trivia Bar & Best Irish Pub!

Pub Quiz every Tuesday Night @ 7:30pm

3 3 1 9 C O N N E C T I C U T AV E , N W, WA S H I N G T O N , D C

A TA S T E O F V I E T N A M I N T H E D I S T R I C T. . .

Pho 14 ranked top 10 in the nation for Best Eats for the buck” - Forbes, 2011

THANKS FOR VOTING FOR US! A family-owned restaurant, the inspiration of Pho 14 came thanks to our Mom, who provided all of our traditional recipes. Come visit our three locations and meet the rest of our family. Too shy to dine with us?

No problem! You can also order for delivery or pick-up, just call one of our locations near you.

Online ordering and delivery available • 1436 Park Rd, NW ~ 202-986-2326 • 1769 Columbia Rd, NW ~ 202-986-2288 • 4201 Connecticut Ave, NW ~ 202-686-6275 • www.dcpho14.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 25

FOOD& DRINK Best Cocktails When You Want to be One and Done: Archipelago

delivery apps, and email recipe lists are quickly becoming the norm. What about lunch? If you work in downtown D.C., you might have a handful of restaurants or sandwich shops within walking distance of your office. But there are many workspaces that lack midday food options. That’s where Plum Relish comes in. This local, women-owned company brings healthy meals to your office. Pop on the website and pick one of three meals and the date you need it delivered. Then wait for your farm-fresh food to arrive. It’s the perfect service if you have a team meeting or a VIP coming in for the afternoon because each order takes into account individual preferences and diets.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Reason to Go to CityCenterDC Centrolina

974 Palmer Alley NW, (202) 8982426, centrolinadc.com

citycEntErdc can fEEL a little soulless with its eerily empty luxury boutiques, but head into the belly of the beast to dine at Centrolina where Chef Amy Brandwein is cranking out craveable Italian that’s been consistent since day one. She’s also assembling a team of lady bosses, including wine pro Elizabeth Parker, pastry chef Caitlin Dysart, and general manager Angela Duran. Don’t miss the wood-roasted baby octopus, house-made pastas, or one of the finest negronis in the city. As an added bo-

soup has a salty and savory base of beef stock and short ribs, and it comes loaded with sustenance and toppings: yuca, corn, plantains, and cilantro. It’s better than any chicken soup that mom used to make. And La Casita recently opened a second location in Gaithersburg.

—Tim Ebner

Best Sandwich

Best Breakfast Away From Home Breakfast Bomb

1250 9th St. NW, (202) 7350102, buttercreamdc.com

brEakfast is thE most important meal of the day, but who has time to make it? When Apple Jacks or Rice Krispies won’t do, head to Buttercream Bakeshop for a better option. The breakfast bomb is one of its most popular breakfast pastries. And it’s kind of like an outside-in breakfast sandwich. For just $4.50, you get flakey buttermilk bread stuffed with a variety of hot and gooey ingredients. Try the standard option filled with cheddar cheese, scrambled eggs, and breakfast sausage. Then there’s the spicy bomb with jalapeños, spicy sausage, and pepper jack. Boom: hunger gone.

—Tim Ebner

Best Noodle Soup: Tom Yum Noodle Soup at Baan Thai roasted pork, ground chicken, pork rinds for crunch, pickled jalapenos, green onions, noodles, and a broth with so much heat, tang, and funk that it almost tastes like anger feels—in a good way. You’ll think, “There’s no way I’ll be able to finish this generous dish,” but you will because of umami’s magical powers. As an added bonus, the tom yum noodle soup travels well, should you be ordering Baan Thai for pick-up.

—Laura Hayes

Best Noodle Soup

Best Way to Impress Your Boss with Office Lunch

Tom Yum Noodle Soup at Baan Thai

Plum Relish

not for thE flavor averse, this soup contains

thErE arE quitE a few options on the market that help with dinner needs—box meals,

1326 14th St. NW, (202) 5885889, baanthaidc.com

plumrelish.com

26 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Carolina On My Mind at Federalist Pig 1654 Columbia Road NW, federalistpig.com

ask any LocaL barbecue snob and they’ll tell you that Federalist Pig owner and pitmaster Rob Sonderman knows how to smoke some good meat. The man also has a great grasp of sandwiches and how good ones should be composed. This was true when he worked at DCity Smokehouse and it’s even more apparent at Federalist Pig. The standout on that menu is the Carolina On My Mind, a chopped pork sandwich dressed with a spicy vinegar sauce and topped with coleslaw and crispy pork skin. It tastes phenomenal, beginning with a vinegary, Carolina-style sauce that adds acidity and heat to the rich pile of pork. Many of the other sandwiches on the menu use the thick Kansas City-style sauce that most people generically call “barbecue sauce,” but its sweetness overwhelms the flavor of the meat, the most important thing in any Sonderman sandwich. The thinner sauce on the Carolina coats nearly every piece of pork, amplifying its flavor instead of masking it.

By topping the sandwich with his tangy slaw, Sonderman introduces a bit of creaminess and extra sourness while also adding textural interest. Without some vegetables, the sandwich would be a heavy mix of pork, bread, and various meat juices, so the slaw immediately lightens it and, of course, makes it appear much healthier. A sprinkling of fried pork skins on top negates the health benefits of the vegetables, but it’s the kind of detail that makes the Carolina so special.

The salty crunch surprises your mouth, giving some bites a little extra pop. The sesame seed bun that holds all the ingredients isn’t particularly special, but it doesn’t need to be. All that matters is its structural integrity.

In his similarly titled song, James Taylor begs forgiveness for being “up and gone to Carolina in my mind.” Decades separate the song and the sandwich, but the otherworldly sensation he sings about can be achieved while eating at Federalist Pig. —Caroline Jones

www.margarets-catering.com

Where we specialize in Dishing out classic Southern entrees & sides such as fried fish, oxtail & grits.

Your Neighborhood Grill!

Serving Indian & Pakistani fare of Kebobs, Curries, and Biriyani

1701 6th St NW, Washington, DC 20001

202.588.5516

PROUD TO BE MADE IN D.C. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT

1003 Wisconsin Ave NW, Washington, DC 20007

202.847.3476

VISIT US ON SATURDAYS 1PM-8PM FOR PUBLIC TASTES & TOURS

1135 Okie Street, NE • Washington, DC 20002

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 27

FOOD& DRINK

Best Reason to Go to CityCenterDC: Centrolina nus, you can bring home pasta from Centrolina’s market to cook the next day. —Laura Hayes

Best Culinary Heel Alessandro Borgognone

donaLd trump agitatEs people in the District. So does the idea that Washington is a onestoplight town that imports its best stuff from elsewhere (ideally, New York). It’s restaurateur-slash-provocateur Alessandro Borgognone’s genius to combine both slams, pitching his new branch of Sushi Nakazawa in the Trump International Hotel—a location that’s proved too hot for other restaurants—as a civilizing mission for the capital city. In a November interview, Borgognone bragged that he’d bring high-end sushi to D.C., which he characterized as a “steakhouse town” (Michelin-rated Sushi Taro would probably disagree). But putting his restaurant in the Trump hotel might prove even more controversial. When celeb chef Anthony Bourdain said he’d never eat in Borgognone’s new restaurant, Borgognone shot back: Bourdain, in his telling, is a “glorified line cook on CNN.” —Will Sommer

Best Local Beer Big Red Norm at Denizens Brewing Company

1115 East-West Highway, Silver Spring, (301) 557-9818, denizensbrewingco.com

sour bEErs, ipas, and the gose style of beer

have dug their claws into the D.C. beer scene and can be found on just about any beer list worth a damn. But what about the elusive American red ale? Big Red Norm from Denizens Brewing Co. straddles the line between a light beer and a hefty beer and it smells like all the finer things in life, including caramel and baking biscuits. The malty beer with 6.8 percent ABV gets its name from Norman Lane, who was both the unofficial mayor of Silver Spring and the town drunk. “His bronze bust is in an alleyway where I used to hang out,” says co-founder Julie Verratti. Big Red Norm is packaged in cans and kegs and is available year-round.

—Laura Hayes

Best Beer With Your Ramen Noodle Bowl Hitachino Nest White Ale at Toki Underground 1234 H St NE, (202) 388-3086, tokiunderground.com

coLd bEEr and hot ramen are a combination everyone from college students to overworked adults can enthusiastically get behind. But which beer can act like a blank canvas for the aggressive flavors of Toki Underground’s vegetarian ramen? As Tasting Beer author Randy Mosher wrote, “When in doubt, go Belgian.”

Hitachino Nest White Ale, a Belgian-style Japanese beer, features coriander, orange peel, nutmeg, and orange juice. It’s mellow, rustic,

28 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Dim Sum Not in the Suburbs: Da Hong Pao and provides a match that melds well with the ramen’s dominant flavors of kombu and shiitake mushrooms.

—Michael Stein

Best José Andrés Moment T-shirt reveal

LikE supErman in a phone booth, chefturned-activist José Andrés ripped off his chef coat while addressing a crowd at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival, revealing a T-shirt that read, “I am an immigrant.”

The restaurateur, who is behind local restaurants Jaleo, Zaytinya, Oyamel, minibar, and more, is known for passionate speeches, but this moment was peak Andrés. “The American dream of the 21st century is to be an American of inclusion not of exclusion,” he told the audience. Andrés recently took the lead during D.C.’s #ADayWithoutImmigrants strike in February by being the first to announce he’d be closing several of his restaurants. About 100 other restaurants followed.

—Laura Hayes

Best White Tablecloth Spot for a Beer Kinship

1015 7th St. NW, (202) 737-7700, kinshipdc.com

whiLE you might not find a physical white

tablecloth at Kinship, you will find white napkins and a Michelin star. Keep your thirst for the beverage of the barbarians, because unlike some fine dining restaurants, Chef Eric Ziebold’s beverage team doesn’t turn their nose up at beer. A top pick from the beer list is Kulmbacher Edelherb Pils, voted the best Pilsner in Germany by German beer drinkers.

If eating some of Kinship’s richer dishes, opt for a “Christmas Night Cap” from Belgium’s Slaapmutske. Or try a coffee-infused Imperial Stout, Péché Mortel, from Montreal’s Dieu du Ciel. At 9.5 percent ABV, 11.5 ounces is all you’ll need.

—Michael Stein

Best Dim Sum Not in the Suburbs Da Hong Pao

1409 14th St. NW, (202) 846-7217

this unprEtEntious chinEsE restaurant has changed 14th Street, long since saturated with tapas bars. Unlike at those establishments, “small plates” do not begin to describe the experience at Da Hong Pao, which opened last July and serves the most scrumptious dim sum this half-Asian reporter can find within the District proper. Roast pork buns (cha siu bao)? Check. Shrimp and vegetable dumplings (shumai)? Check. Egg tarts (dan tat)?

Don’t get me started. I could rest my head and fall asleep on the pan-fried taro and turnip cakes. Speaking of, be sure to make plen-

Taco & Margarita Goodness L.A.-Style & Regional Mexican Specialties

Sunday Brunch

Voted one of the Three Virginia locations: Arlington - Columbia Pike - Lee Highway Alexandria - Del Ray

www.taqueriapoblano.com

BEST MARGARITAS 2017 Washington City Paper

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 29

FOOD& DRINK ty of time for a nap after eating to your heart’s content.

—Andrew Giambrone

Best Block for Sandwiches 1200 block of 9th Street NW

LikE a good man, a good sandwich is hard to find. Should you find yourself near the Walter E. Washington Convention Center, however, that task becomes significantly easier.

On the east side of the street, Marjorie MeekBradley’s Smoked & Stacked offers intensely beefy pastrami sandwiches as well as smoked chicken, cured salmon, and luscious milk bread rolls. On the opposite side, acclaimed pizza spot All-Purpose fills out its lunch menu with a hearty eggplant sandwich that oozes melted cheese and a crunchy calamari po-boy that’s brightened by a spicy aioli and pickled peppers, while Espita Mezcaleria serves a fried fish torta so refined it makes McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish look like a crime. Take a few more steps up 9th Street and you’ll also pass globally-inspired sandwich shop SUNdeVICH. Even the pickiest eaters will be sated without having to walk more than a few yards.

—Caroline Jones

Best Beer and Shot Combo Happy Meals at Barrel

613 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, (202) 543-3622, barreldc.com

ordEr a bEEr and shot combo at most bars in D.C. and you’ll get what you expect: a can of a cheap regional lager and a small pour of rail whiskey. That option will get you buzzed but it’s so predictable, it’s boring. Eastern Market whiskey bar Barrel ups the ante by offering four unique combinations on its “Happy Meal” menu. Purists can opt for the Shift Drink (Narragansett with Mellow Corn) or the World’s Best Dad (Bud Heavy and Old Granddad). Drinkers who want to avoid brown stuff can pick from the fruity IPA Spritz (a session IPA with the sweet Italian aperitif Aperol) or the flummoxing What Noise Annoys an Oyster (Bud Light with green chartreuse, a bitter French liqueur). At $10–$12, these pairings cost slightly more than others around town, but they do include something every good happy meal should have: a toy.

—Caroline Jones

Best To-Go Packaging Pineapple and Pearls Coffee Bar 715 8th St. SE, (202) 595-7375, pineappleandpearls.com

without waiting months for a reservation, you can experience Pineapple and Pearls’ refinement by visiting its reasonably priced coffee shop early in the day. Each item on its

Best To-Go Packaging: Pineapple and Pearls Coffee Bar small menu is designed for carry-out, but instead of being crumpled in butcher paper and shoved in a paper sack, sandwiches are delicately wrapped in wax paper then placed in a gold-flecked cardboard box lined with gold foil and sealed with gold tape. The box also includes a wet wipe to help you clean your sticky fingers and a thick paper napkin to keep your clothes and hands mess-free. When your order is ready, it’s presented from behind the counter in a black vellum bag with P&P’s minimalist logo that can easily double as a gift bag. The packaging makes it look like you just left a fancy boutique when in reality you’re carrying something much better: lunch. —Caroline Jones

Best Soup For a Vegetarian Jew Prescription Chicken’s Veggie Matzoh Ball Soup prescriptionchicken.com

matzoh baLL soup is something I’ve long been craving since I gave up meat several years ago, yet my grandma says it would “ruin” her recipe if she used vegetable broth.

If you grew up in a Jewish household, you know how meat-centric the cuisine is. Even the non-meaty dishes, like matzoh ball soup, have ingredients (chicken broth) that are a nogo for vegetarians and vegans. It’s just kind of a given that any matzoh ball soup you’d order in a Jewish deli will be cooked in chicken broth. So thank G-d for Prescription Chicken’s chickenless matzoh ball soup, which utilizes veggie broth in favor of chicken broth for a truly hearty soup—just like your bubbe’s recipe. Order it on Postmates, Uber Eats, DoorDash, or GrubHub. —Matt Cohen

Best Vegan Food Sweet & Natural

4009 34th St., Mt. Rainier, (301) 2779338, sweetandnatural.com

you couLd Eat a meal at Sweet & Natural every night of the week and never get sick of it. That’s a remarkable feat for any restaurant

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Best New Bar Service Bar DC

928 U St. NW, (202) 462-7232, servicebardc.com

thE o’jays oncE sang “Give the People What They Want.” That’s what Service Bar DC did when it sprung onto the scene in October serving cocktails and fried chicken, including tenders that come in a waffle cone.

The name of the bar from Glendon Hartley and Chad Spangler is a tipoff that it aims to please because the service bar is an area of a restaurant where bartenders mix drinks for diners seated at tables. “Usually it’s an area that’s thankless,” Spangler says. “You are behind the scenes, so it’s not about you. It’s about the guest and the guest experience.” Indeed, enter the intimate, 40-seat bar, and it feels at once hospitable and easy.

Despite the fact that Service Bar DC employs some of the city’s top bartenders—like Christine Kim—classic cocktails like a daiquiri or a Tom Collins run a modest $7. That’s not to say prices don’t creep up for originality like the “Raisin d’etre” that combines Armagnac, cinnamon, lemon, serrano pepper, and golden raisin for a sweet and spicy sip ($12).

Adding to the allure, there are several ways to enjoy Service Bar DC. If you want more than a casual drink, there’s the “snug room” modeled off pubs in the Emerald Isle. The private table that seats six comfortably is encapsulated in a box that has a window for bartenders to pop in and pass drinks. Here, cocktail-tasting menus are offered and can be customized if a group books in advance (in person or via email).

Not even six months old, Service Bar DC is pushing itself. It announced in February that every two months it would debut a special menu inspired by a region known for its cocktails. First up was New Orleans complete with expertly made Sazeracs.

—Laura Hayes

THANK YOU FOR VOTING FOR FADO AS THE BEST IRISH PUB Fadó Irish Pub is located in the heart of Washington, D.C. Nestled in the shadow of the Verizon Center, Smithsonian and Chinatown, and just a few blocks north of the National Mall, Fadó is a great spot to pregame before a Capitals game or take a break from exploring the city. Why not have a pint while you soak up the nation’s history?

Older than your father’s jokes, better than your children’s cooking JOIN US FOR MOTHER’S DAY FAMILY-STYLE DINNER 808 7th St NW, Washington, DC 20001 • (202) 789-0066 fadoirishpub.com

Dine out!

Dining Out for

Benefiting

$55 per person • For reservations please call: 202- 331-8528 Or email: restaurant@tabardinn.com *Mention this ad for $5 off!

Thursday, April 6th Your meal will help provide thousands of nutritious meals a day to children and adults battling HIV/AIDS, cancer and other life-challenging illnesses. See participating restaurants at www.foodandfriends.org/DiningOut

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 31

D.C.’S ONLY RETRO ARCADE BAR

“Best Mussels”

‘08, ‘09, ‘10, ‘11, ‘12, ‘13, ‘14, ‘15, ‘16, ‘17

Stop in for our Weekly Specials!

Mussel Monday $12 bowls o’mussels

Tuesday Burger Night $20 for Bison Burger + Fries + Local Draft Beer

Trappist Wednesday

“Video Games And Booze, This Place Is Perfect.”

25% Trappist Beers

GRANVILLE MOORE’s

A Gastropub with a Healthy Belgian Fetish

1238 H Street NE 202-399-2546 www.granvillemoores.com

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AMAZING BEER • HOSPITALITY • EDUCATION

Serving international cuisine, craft beers, fine wines and cocktails Join us for 1/2 Price Wine on Wednesdays! *With purchase of an entree

301 H Street NE Mon–Sat 10 to 10 · Sun 12 to 6 202-846-7585 dc.craftbeercellar.com

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FOOD& DRINK

Thank you

but even more so for Sweet & Natural, which boasts an entirely organic and vegan menu.

The small restaurant, situated in the quaint neighborhood of Mount Rainier, just over the D.C. border in Maryland, specializes in vegan takes on soul food entrees like fried chicken, meatloaf, fried fish, BBQ drumsticks, collard greens, and mac and cheese. Sweet & Natural also folds in vegan food from other cuisines, including quesadillas, stuffed peppers, and tofu teriyaki. It doesn’t matter if you’re vegan or not—Sweet & Natural is just damn fine food, full stop.

—Matt Cohen

for voting Blue 44 BEST FRIED CHICKEN IN DC!

5507 Connecticut Ave NW, Washington, DC (202) 362-2583

Best Foolproof Fast-Casual Shouk

stretch of M Street NW in Georgetown. The supply of people willing to wait in a long line outside Georgetown Cupcake seems endless, ever replenishing. Yet a few hundred feet down the street, it’s often possible to walk into Pie Sisters and head straight to the counter to order. I’ll leave it to the sociologists to explain why so many people seem to have lost faith in the once-prominent American institution of pie. Restore yours by eating a slice of Pie Sisters’ Key lime pie, with its buttery graham-cracker crust and a heap of whipped cream that cuts the sweetly sour lime filling. Those unwilling to venture to the ends of Georgetown can also find the shop’s Key lime pie available on the dessert menu at Medium Rare in Cleveland Park and Barracks Row. —Zach Rausnitz

655 K St. NW, (202) 652-1464, shouk.com.

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i witnEssEd somEthing disturbing in the sauce section of SKWR—a downtown lunch spot where customers proceed down an assembly line, picking fillings and toppings for bowls. By the time you arrive at SKWR’s sauce options, you have already chosen a base, three spreads, one protein, and a half-dozen or more toppings like carrots or cabbage. The customer ahead of me was asked to choose one sauce. “I’ll have all five,” he said, and the SKWR employee drenched his bowl. A system that allows individuals to layer an already-full bowl with a coating of sauce soup is broken. Many of the Chipotle knock-offs don’t recognize that the Tex-Mex empire’s strengths lie not just in its assembly-line process or the freedom to customize, but in the small number of ingredients and their cohesion.

This brings me to Shouk, the Middle Eastern pita and rice-bowl joint in Mount Vernon Triangle. Instructions at the top of the menu read, “Pick one; we’ll do the rest.”

One of the options consists of fennel, potato, red pepper, and pistachio pesto; another is mushroom, cauliflower, asparagus, arugula, za’atar, and tahina. The relatively minimalist approach means you can actually taste everything, and thank goodness for that. The vegetables and sauces at Shouk are intense. There are no animal products on the menu, but nothing at Shouk tastes like it’s missing something or trying to compensate for meat’s absence. Not even the veggie burger.

—Zach Rausnitz

Best Pie Key Lime Pie at Pie Sisters

3423 M St. NW, (202) 338-7437, piesisters.com

much has bEEn written lately about the deterioration of institutions in American society. The public’s confidence in Congress, the press, organized religion, and other pillars of American civil society has faded. Another indicator of civilizational decline is on display nearly every day on the westernmost

Best Bar to Hide in Church & State

1236 H St NE; (202) 399-2323, dcchurchandstate.com

church & statE’s menu proudly proclaims, “This is not a Church. D.C. is not a State.”

Though that may true, as soon as you enter this bar sanctuary, you’re in a state of relaxation.

The cocktails are top-notch—running the gamut from classic standbys like Gin Rickeys and Old Fashioneds to the more adventurous drinks themed around the seven deadly sins. The staff is friendly but not overly intrusive, and always happy to educate patrons about their craft without being preachy. The furnishings are salvaged from a Baltimore church, with plenty of pewsturned-booths to tuck yourself away in and curtains separating tables for maximum privacy. In this serene environment, it’s easy to forget that there are people slamming beers amid arcade games downstairs and an obnoxious streetcar clanging past outside. If you really want to get away from it all, steal yourself to the confessional room and unburden your soul.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Neighborhood Bar That’s Actually a Neighborhood Bar Stoney’s P Street

1433 P St. NW, (202) 234-1818, stoneys-dc.com

this might not be a bar where “everyone knows your name,” but it’s been everything you want in a neighborhood bar since 1968. Some modern highlights include trivia with cringe-worthy team names, grilled cheese sandwiches stuffed with chicken fingers, zippy “boss of the sauce” wings, a happy hour so generous you’ll wonder if Oprah’s just handing shit out, and TVs that show the home team unless the Broncos are on. Like a mullet’s split personality, the two-story bar tends to be business downstairs and party upstairs. Hot tip: They’re about to launch Bingo.

—Laura Hayes

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best Museum that Lived up to its Hype: National Museum of African American History and Culture washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 37

ReadeRs’ Picks ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Art ClAss

Best CommerCiAl Art gAllery

Corcoran Arts Continuing Education

Latela Art Gallery

nondegree.gwu.edu/cce

Readers Say: “Great array of classes with something for everyone. The quality of instruction exceeds expectations and the overall experience is wonderful.”

Runners Up: Uncork’d Art, Capitol Hill Arts Workshop

Best Arts & Culture FestivAl

Nowruz Festival nowruzfestival.org

Readers Say: “A full day of joy and festivity. The best event to cover Persian colorful culture and its New Year celebrations.”

Runners Up: Turkish Festival, H Street Festival

Best Arts And Culture nonproFit

Bloom Bars

3222 11th St. NW, (202) 567-7713, bloombars.com

716 Monroe St. NE #27, (202) 3403280, lateladc.com Readers Say: “Unique business model.

A real community treasure.”

Runners Up: Longview Gallery, Transformer

Best dAnCe CompAny (tie)

Joy of Motion

Multiple Locations, joyofmotion.org Readers Say: “The best staff, the best instructors, and the best community. No matter your ability, they have something for you from children to seniors. They give back to the community through dance scholarships to children in need.

Love love love this place!”

Princess Mhoon Dance Institute

932 Philadelphia Ave, Silver Spring, (301) 448-1663, princessmhoondance.com

Best dJ

DJ Rico

instagram.com/djricothenoisemaker Readers Say: “The best in DC for mixing music. I can listen to him all day every day.”

Runners Up: DJ The Question, Robbie White

Best esCApe room

The Escape Lounge 1322B H St. NE, (202) 399-0900, escapetheroom.today

Readers Say: “The Escape Lounge is a great place to take your co-workers, friends, and family. Their rooms are very well thought out and you can tell the owner had put time into making it a good experience. They even have a room for kids! This should be on your ‘Things to do in DC!’” Runners Up: Escape Room Live, Escape the Room DC

Best Film FestivAl

DC Shorts Film Festival

1317 F St. NW #920, (202) 393-4266, dcshorts.com Readers Say: “It is vetted and judged by real people, not a pious, snooty group of know-it-alls. The festival is fun! There are very many extra workshops and free sets of movies, plus family days.”

Runners Up: Washington Jewish Film Festival, AFI Docs

Best go-go BAnd

Backyard Band backyardbanddc.com

Readers Say: “Love coming to see BYB!!

The energy and the atmosphere they create is like no other!”

Runners Up: Team Familiar, Junkyard Band

Best Hip-Hop nigHt (tie)

Hip Hop Karaoke at the Kennedy Center The Park at Fourteenth

920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Readers Say: “Great atmosphere for hiphop on Friday nights!”

Runners Up: Abada-Capoeira DC, Alliance Francaise

Runner Up: Friday night at Lounge of 3

Best Arts Blog

Best JAzz JAm session

Girls Guide to Music

DC Jazz Jam @ Brixton

girlsguidetomusic.com

901 U St. NW, (202) 681-5505, dcjazzjam.com

Readers Say: “My definitive source for music in the district”

Readers Say: “The DC Jazz Jam has promoted local jazz artists for the last seven years. Way to jam!”

Runners Up: A Creative DC, DC Metro Theater Arts

Best Comedy venue

Runners Up: Mr. Henry’s Capitol Jazz Jam, Columbia Station

DC Improv Comedy Club

Best JAzz/Blues venue

Blues Alley

1140 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 2967008, dcimprov.com

Blues Alley Northwest, (202) 337-4141, bluesalley.com

Readers Say: “It’s the best comedy club in the country. Ask any comedian!”

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Runner Up: Washington Ballet

2700 F St. NW, (202) 467-4600, kennedy-center.org

Readers Say: “Great communitybuilding spot with arts and culture events for adults and for kids. Fun with thoughtful touches not, often seen in D.C., like a wall seat for kids in the bathroom. Came here in my twenties and just rediscovered it with my kid. Still poppin.”

Runners Up: Arlington Cinema & Drafthouse, Big Hunt

Readers Say: “A creative & patient team”

Best Movie Theater: Landmark’s E Street Cinema

Readers Say: “One of the best places in the world to see music, especially if it’s someone you know.”

Runners Up: Twins Jazz, Jazz & Cultural Society

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Best Local Hip-Hop Artist: Wale

Best KArAoKe

Best loCAl originAl BAnd

Best museum Art gAllery

District Karaoke

Dan Wolff & The Muddy Crows

National Gallery of Art National Museum of 6th & Constitution Ave. NW, (202) 737African American 4215, nga.gov History and Culture Runners Up: The National Portrait Gallery, The

districtkaraoke.com

Readers Say: “A fun, supportive atmosphere where everyday people can shake off the stresses of everyday work and unleash their creativity. A desire to be on stage having fun and cutting loose is far more important than singing quality.”

Runners Up: Muzette, Sing Sing Karaoke Bar

Best loCAl Cover BAnd

White Ford Bronco whitefordbronco.com

Readers Say: “This group is AMAZING and never disappoints.”

Runners Up: The Reflex, The DCeivers

Best loCAl Hip-Hop Artist

Wale

danwolffmusic.com

Readers Say: “Awesome shows and great original music” Runners Up: Batala Washington, Aztec Sun

Best movie tHeAter

Landmark’s E Street Cinema

555 11th St. NW, (202) 783-9494, landmarktheatres.com/washington-dc/e-street-cinema Readers Say: “Great food and wine, and love midnight showings of rocky horror picture show.”

Runners Up: Landmark Atlantic Plumbing Cinema, AMC Loews Uptown 1

Best museum on tHe mAll

1400 Constitution Avenue, NW, 844750-3012, nmaahc.si.edu

Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden

Best museum oFF tHe mAll

Readers Say: “It’s an experience like no other.”

President Lincoln’s Cottage

Runners Up: National Gallery of Art, Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden

140 Rock Creek Church Road NW, (202) 829-0436, lincolncottage.org Readers Say: “A wonderful place where you can feel Abraham Lincoln’s presence and gain a sense of him as a person and as a president. Such a gem.”

Runners Up: The Phillips Collection, Newseum

Best musiC FestivAl

Kingman Island Bluegrass Festival kingmanislandbluegrass.com

Readers Say: “Love it. Bigger every year!”

Runners Up: DC Jazz Festival, Broccoli City Festival

walemusic.com Readers Say: “Making us proud” Runners Up: Christylez Bacon, Oddisee

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 39

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Best Performing Arts Venue: Kennedy Center

bar with mini stage and additional acts and many great pics of members of the Grateful Dead. Top notch.”

Runners Up: Black Cat, 9:30 Club

Best radio station

WAMU

4401 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 8851200, wamu.org Readers Say: “Consistently excellent programming.”

Runners Up: DC 101, WPFW

Best recording studio

Blue Room Productions

Multiple Locations, (240) 505-5544, blueroommusicstudio.com Readers Say: “The facilities are amazing, the gear-list is comprehensive, and the music professionals that work at Blue Room are among the best in the industry. This is recording at its’ finest.”

Runners Up: Buzzlounge Recording Studio, Sweet Spot Studio

Best recreational sPorts league

District Sports districtsports.org

Readers Say: “Great league involved with the community!”

Runners Up: DC Fray, DC Bocce League

Best striP cluB

Camelot Showbar

1823 M St. NW, (202) 887-5966, camelotshowbar.com Readers Say: “Very attractive ladies, dancers” Runners Up: Secrets, stadiumclub

Best theater coMPany

Best Music Venue

9:30 Club

815 V St. NW, (202) 265-0930, 930.com Runners Up: Black Cat, Birchmere Music Hall

Best neighBorhood FestiVal

H Street Festival hstreet.org/Events/Festival

Readers Say: “Most culturally diverse festival in the city. Highlights our youth and amazing local businesses. Mr. Anwar Saleem outdoes himself every year.”

Runners Up: Takoma Park Street Festival, Adams Morgan Day

Best night cluB

The Park at Fourteenth

920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Runners Up: Town Danceboutique, Flash

Best outdoor MoVie series

Screen on the Green

(877) 262-5866, dcoutdoorfilms.com Runners Up: NoMa Summer Screen, Capitol Riverfront

Best PerForMance artist

Doug Hecox

641 D St. NW, (202) 393-3939, woollymammoth.net

Runners Up: Cherie Sweetbottom, SEVA

Readers Say: “Most provocative, most enlightening, best venue”

dougfun.com

Best PerForMing arts Venue

Kennedy Center

Best outdoor Venue

2700 F St. NW, (202) 467-4600, kennedy-center.org

Wolf Trap

Runners Up: Arena Stage, The Music Center at Strathmore

1551 Trap Road, Vienna, (703) 255-1900, wolftrap.org Readers Say: “It’s pretty much the only place where being on the lawn isn’t worse than tailgating in the parking lot.

Great acoustics and artists actually like playing there.”

Runners Up: Merriweather Post Pavilion, Yards Park

40 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company

Best Place to see local Music

Gypsy Sally’s

3401 K St. NW, (202) 333-7700, gypsysallys.com Readers Say: “Nice cozy place, great headliners, good support crew, side

Runners Up: Shakespeare Theatre Company, Arena Stage

Best theater FestiVal

Capital Fringe Festival 1358 Florida Ave. NE, (202) 737-7230, capitalfringe.org

Runners Up: Women’s Voices Theatre Festival, The Atlas INTERSECTIONS Festival

Best Visual artist

Hernan Gigena hernangigena.com

Runners Up: Rayhart, Kelly Towles

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Staff PickS ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

nopoly and usually brings Waka Flocka Flame and Frenchie around when they’re in town. If you’re an aspiring lyricist, get there early because the list fills up quickly.

—Sidney Thomas

Best IntimateConcert Provider Sofar Sounds

sofarsounds.com/washington

Those Tired of big-name bands, prices, and crowds at 9:30 Club or Verizon Center need not leave D.C. to have a memorable music experience. In fact, they may not even need to leave their neighborhoods. Promising live local gigs and talent, Sofar Sounds organizes intimate gatherings in more than 300 cities worldwide, including the District. People apply to attend shows and Sofar determines who gets to attend. Once accepted, each person can buy up to three tickets for shows that typically feature three artists. The venues tend to be small—think of it like a house show organized online. A recent concert, for example, was hosted at &pizza’s support office in Capitol Hill. (There wasn’t pizza, sadly.) Adding to the house-show feel, shows are normally BYOB. —Andrew Giambrone

Best Non-Stop Party Museum: Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden

Best Hip-Hop Open Mic

Charles Steck

Best Hip-Hop Open Mic: Keyz 2 Tha City at Red Lounge Bar & Grill

42 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Non-Stop Party Museum

Keyz 2 Tha City at Red Lounge Bar & Grill

Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden

2013 14th St. NW, (202) 2325788, redloungedc.com

7th Street SW and Independence Avenue SW, (202) 633-4674, hirshhorn.si.edu

The local hip-hop open mic scene has long served as an incubator for burgeoning talent. For fledgling rappers, these venues can be an important place to showcase their music and gain valuable experience performing in front of sometimes unforgiving live audiences. Keyz 2 Tha City, an entertainment company that consists of Sleep, ELWay S.E., and DJ Audio AJ is currently dominating D.C.’s open mics: They have the only weekly events—“Mixtape Monday” and “Keys 2 Tha City Wednesday”—both of which take place at the Red Lounge. A slew of promising artists have come through the Red Lounge this year: Chelly The MC, Shabazz, Bali Baby, Top Dolla Sweizy, and WillThaRapper have all made appearances. And you never know who may pop up at Keyz: Sleep is member of Bricksquad Mo-

Back in 2015, the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden drew flack for director Melissa Chiu’s decision to hold the museum’s razzle-dazzle 40th anniversary party in New York. Chiu promised that the District would soon share in the fun—and last year she delivered.

The party started quietly with a Robert Irwin exhibit that featured a memorable mindbending, site-specific installation. A lowercase-b blockbuster, this summer show served up high-level scholarship that was also popular and accessible. The museum simultaneously posted exhibits by Linn Meyers and Bettina Pousttchi that spanned whole floors of the 360-degree museum.

Party-o-clock arrived in earnest, though, with Ragnar Kjartansson, a swag fall survey by Iceland’s favorite son. A rotating cast

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Charles Steck

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

of gold-sequined D.C. rockers strummed a single guitar chord on a revolving stage for “Woman in E,” was a fan favorite. That piece, plus a beloved multi-channel video installation, “The Visitors,” lent the Hirshhorn destination status.

Yet all the cool-cachet of Reykjavík couldn’t have prepared D.C. for Infinity Mirrors, the Yayoi Kusama festival currently crushing it at the Hirshhorn (and on Instagram). The museum is presently adjusting its visitor hours and policies to try to accommodate the throngs of people dying to get in. For its next act, the museum needs to host a quiet Blinky Palermo–type show that only the most devoted art nerds will care about—the equivalent of turning on all the lights and putting on a pot of coffee. Go home, Hirshhorn crowds.

You’re art drunk.

—Kriston Capps

Best Blues Jam Session Saturdays at the Archie Edwards Blues Barbershop 4701 Queensbury Road, Riverdale, acousticblues.com

in The 1950s and ’60s, Archie Edwards’ barbershop on Bunker Hill Road in Northeast D.C. was the place to be if you had any sort of interest in the blues. It’s where blues legends like Mississippi John Hurt and Skip James would frequently hang out and play songs for each other and whichever customers were around, fostering a community of local blues musicians and music lovers for decades to come.

The spirit of Archie Edwards and his barbershop lives on in Riverdale Park, Maryland, at the Archie Edwards Blues Barbershop, which houses the Archie Edwards Blues Heritage Foundation. In addition to some relics and remnants of Edwards’ original barbershop, the small center—situated, appropriately enough, next to railroad tracks—frequently hosts concerts and workshops, but what it’s truly known for are its Saturday jam sessions.

For nearly 50 years, acoustic jam sessions were held Saturday af-

44 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

ternoons at Edwards’ barbershop, even after he died in 1998. When the barbershop’s building was sold in 2008, Edwards’ friends and fans kept the tradition alive, establishing the Archie Edwards Blues Heritage Foundation in Riverdale Park and continuing to host informal Saturday jam sessions. It’s one of, if not the oldest, blues jam sessions on the East Coast, proudly keeping alive the Piedmont blues tradition Edwards was known for.

Each Saturday, musicians of all skill sets gather from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. for an afternoon of songs and bonding over a love of the blues.

Bring your guitar, harmonica, fiddle—whatever, as long as it’s an acoustic instrument (No amps! Is one of the few rules of the jams).

Even if you don’t play an instrument, you can find something to bang and keep rhythm. After all, the blues is all about inclusivity and community.

—Matt Cohen

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Walter E. Washington Convention Center | Carnegie Library | RFK Stadium | DC Armory | Festival Grounds at RFK Stadium | Gateway DC

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Best Museum that Lived up to its Hype National Museum of African American History and Culture 1400 Constitution Ave. NW, (844) 750-3012, nmaahc.si.edu

The much-anTicipaTed naTional Museum of African American History and Culture captured the hearts of both resident Washingtonians and tourists when it opened in September 2016. The only thing that disappointed the 1.2 million visitors who crowded this shrine during its first six months was the long lines they had to endure. At 400,000 square feet, the building houses close to 37,000 artifacts that span hundreds of years of history. Among the most attention-grabbing objects are Chuck Berry’s red Cadillac, Nat Turner’s Bible, Emmett Till’s casket, a segregation-era railroad car, and a World War II training aircraft used by pilots at the Tuskegee Institute. To further improve the guest experience, the museum revamped a disastrous ticketing system that will better serve the church groups, students, and families planning to visit the bold, copper building later this year. Advance admission passes are booked through June.

—Devan Cole

Best Stage Scenery Arena Stage

1101 6th St. SW, (202) 5549066, arenastage.org

Whenever i Walked into one of Arena Stage’s theaters over the past year, I was always been struck by the sets, many of which I’d like to live in for a day (or forever). This was particularly true of Daniel Zimmerman’s understated and cozy design for Joan Didion’s apartment in The Year of Magical Thinking, which wasn’t much more than a couch, a rug, a bookcase, and a window. But its intimacy set the scene for the very personal one-woman show. Another high point was The Little Foxes, where the most important scenes took place either on set designer Mikiko Suzuki MacAdams’s grand staircase or on the lavish living room couch. And although I wouldn’t want to live on Todd Rosenthal’s design for Carousel or Courtney O’Neill’s for Moby Dick, they were both so creatively rendered, with the hardwood floor spinning like a merry-go-round and Captain Ahab and Ishmael swinging from the rafters, that they became an indispensable part of the storytelling.

—Elena Goukassian

Best Transformation of a Local MC Mike of Doom

soundcloud.com/mikeofdoom

My introduction to 30Whop affiliate Mike of Doom came in the summer of 2015. He was blowing weed smoke through the mouthpiece

Best Emerging-Artist Gallery Hamiltonian Gallery

1353 U St. NW, (202) 332-1116, hamiltoniangallery.com

When hamilTonian Gallery opened at 14th and U Streets in 2007, it was something of an oddity. Paul So, a theoretical physicist and professor at George Mason University, launched his unlikely gallery as a way to give artists something akin to the post-doc model for professional opportunities available in the sciences. Every two years, Hamiltonian endows a new class of fellows: young and emerging artists who get a chance to show their work but also take in mentorship, seminars, grant-writing workshops, placement advice, and other benefits that artists can almost never expect, much less receive.

In the 10 years since the fellowship program got its start, Hamiltonian has grown from an upstart experiment to an outstanding platform. (LinManuel Miranda’s got nothing to do with it: In physics, a “Hamiltonian” refers to the total measure of energy within a system.) Where other gallery stables mix sure bets with promising rookies, Hamiltonian is all about the untested artists. The gallery typically mounts shows pairing two aspiring artists working with similar (or wildly contrasting) themes

46 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

or media. When artist fellows are ready for a breakout solo show—rising stars such as Christie Neptune, Larry Cook, and Naoko Wowsugi—the gallery gives them room to flex. And the mostly unseen professional-services dimension of the fellowship program helps D.C. retain young artists, something that’s harder and harder to do for a city with such high housing costs.

Dan Perkins, Rob Hackett, Amy Boone-McCreesh, Elena Volkova, Jonathan Monaghan, Jessica van Brakle, James Rieck: Hamiltonian has a proven record in finding and drafting fellows who go on to be mainstays in the art community. Quietly, the gallery has built a reputation for allowing young artists to go all out, to put on the kinds of intensive and immersive sculpture, installation, and video-art shows that are so difficult for artists to do after leaving their MFA cocoons.

The annual Hamiltonian fellow group shows are more than a preview of what’s coming next for the gallery—they’re a document of what’s happening now in the District.

—Kriston Capps

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— Baltimore City Paper

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

of a paper Barack Obama mask, in the Rejected Shelf-helmed video for what was then his blazing new bedroom banger “Smokealadope.” That track, along with most of Doom’s work that year (“Who tf,” “Masterpiece,” “Mask Off,” “Futuristic Player”) featured blown-out synths and trap hi-hats, while his liquid flow kept things goofy and loose.

It was a promising debut: Each track showcased Doom’s ability to make a well-traversed style sound fresh and primitive. He kept refining his trap-influenced style as recently as last summer, which apexed with the rattling No Bullshit EP made in collaboration with producer Free Diesel. That was then. Today, Doom is readying for the release of MICHAEL, a project that presents a new path. The two tracks so far released—“DIVA” and “MONA LISA”—bring a variety of disparate styles to the forefront, including electro house, Afro punk, blues pop, and g funk. Here, Doom’s new voice is assured and sharp, less wild than before, instead opting for a more classic MC style, bridging the wide gap be-

Charles Steck

Best Hidden Gem: Hillwood Estate, Museum, and Gardens tween Sugarhill Gang and Lil B. On other, yetto-be released MICHAEL tracks, including the Heems-featuring “I Need Space,” Doom expands on his new sound, showcasing his ability to craft songs around emerging styles and past influences rather than resting on today’s hot sounds, like trap. If Doom is able to harness his newfound creative energy beyond MICHAEL, he’ll be yet another local MC putting DMV hip-hop on the map. —Peter Lillis

ingly public diplomatic negotiations these days, Hillwood takes a more sedate tone, with a postcard-perfect lawn, rotating exhibits on topics like Japanese Art Deco, and a sizable pet cemetery. Until the end of March, Hillwood’s lawn housed Philip Haas’ Four Seasons, giant statues shaped like men’s heads—but if the heads were made out of fiberglass fruit and vegetables. And people say the Renwick is the place for selfies!

—Will Sommer

Best Hidden Gem

Best Old-School Party Starter

Hillwood Estate, Museum, and Gardens

4155 Linnean Ave. NW, (202) 6865807, hillwoodmuseum.org

Hillwood EstatE in Van Ness isn’t the most famous mansion owned by late socialite and cereal heiress Marjorie Merriweather Post—that distinction goes to current winter White House Mar-a-Lago. But while Merriweather Post’s southern outpost is all gold molding and worry-

48 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

DJ Kool

dJ Kool pErfEctEd his craft during the early 1980s, working late nights at downtown club The Room. Born and raised in the Southeast, Kool grew up steeped in go-go culture, and he has mastered turntable skills as well as oldschool party chants. “It’s like on one side, I’m a product of Chuck Brown,” he explains, “and on the other, a product of Africa Bambaataa or

DJ Kool Herc.”

More than 20 years after “Let Me Clear My Throat” became a worldwide party anthem, DJ Kool still hypes up a crowd like no one else.

Lately, he’s been traveling with Rare Essence, cranking their sets to the next level. He has lit up parties in nearly every corner of the globe, including such unlikely locales as Estonia and Nebraska. After he performed for Huskers football fans not long ago, The Daily Nebraskan described him as “the state’s adopted son in the eyes of Nebraska students.”

Can’t have him, folks. He’s ours.

—Alona Wartofsky

Best Musical Community Center Westminster Presbyterian Church 400 I St. SW, (202) 484-7700, westminsterdc.org

tHE first tHing you see are the banners, and they say it all: “Peace,” “Love,” “Justice,”

Kendrea and Quincy live in Baltimore’s Union Square neighborhood.

Š2017 Live Baltimore Home Center, Inc. Live Baltimore is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Just ask Kendrea and Quincy, who work in D.C. but reside in Baltimore.

With friendly neighbors and frequent social gatherings, making a short commute meant finding a true community. What will you discover more of in Baltimore?

Find out at LiveBaltimore.com.

Find your home in Baltimore City. LiveBaltimore.com 17-LBT-001 Wash-City_SpringArts_MECH.indd 1

1/18/17 11:14 AM

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 49

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT and “Jazz.” Southwest’s Westminster Presbyterian Church doesn’t look like your average jazz venue, nor does it look like it would attract world-class talent. But it does, thanks to the ministry of pastors Brian and Ruth Hamilton, who took over the congregation two decades ago, and minister of music Shirli L. Hughes.

Westminster welcomes all to join in celebrating the humanist spirit of jazz music every Friday night. One week you might encounter a local, rising star like the swinging singer Lena Seikaly, and another you might congregate with a globally recognized musician like vibraphonist Warren Wolf. For just $5 on Fridays (or free if you’re under 16), young and old, Northwest and Southeast, aficionados and newcomers gather to listen to some good music, eat a little food, and share in a lot of love. It’s a community music experience like no other.

—Jackson Sinnenberg

Best Re-introduction of Old Favorites: Corcoran Collection Gallery at National Gallery of Art East Building

Best Music Festival Broccoli City Festival bcfestival.com

While other music festivals are getting comfortable at their suburban digs or closing shop all together, Broccoli City has quietly become D.C.’s best music festival. Now in its fifth year, the environmentally friendly, healthyliving, community-minded festival is stronger than ever before. Not only does it happen at the criminally underutilized Gateway DC pavilion in Congress Heights, but it has also branched out into a week full of on-brand events, from fun runs to an art night. And the day-of programming is top notch: After nabbing Future, Anderson .Paak, and Jhené Aiko last year, Broccoli City outdid itself by booking Solange, Rae Sremmurd, Lil Yachty, 21 Savage and, as always, a slate of local up-and-comers.

—Chris Kelly

Best Festival for Food Lovers Smithsonian Food History Weekend at National Museum of American History 14th Street and Constitution Avenue NW, (202) 633-1000, americanhistory.si.edu

the AmericAn history Museum has always been a good place to see glamorous gowns worn by presidential wives and culturally significant television props, but since adding Julia Child’s kitchen to its collection, the museum has become the premier place to learn about the role of food in our nation. Over the last year, it has doubled down on that commitment not only by hiring its first beer historian but also by expanding its annual food history festival. Over the course of a weekend, authors and scholars presented panels about labeling, labor, and other ways food and politics intersect, while other food personalities hosted cooking demonstrations. Local restaurants also got in on the action by offering a

meal on their menus inspired by Child’s recipes, turning the event into a citywide celebration of eating and culture. —Caroline Jones

Best Slept-on Exhibition Suspended Animation at Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden 7th Street and Independence Avenue SW, (202) 633-4674, hirshhorn.si.edu

over the lAst few years, the Hirshhorn has become one of the hottest tickets in town: Just ask the hundreds of people waiting to take a selfie with Yayoi Kusama’s Infinity Mirrors. The Kusama exhibit caps off an excellent year for the contemporary art museum, but away from the upstairs crowds, in

50 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

the museum’s underground Black Box, was a hidden gem: Suspended Animation, a collection of groundbreaking digital video pieces that spoke to the uncanny valleys of life in the modern age, from virtual ecosystems to experiments in ASMR, by six artists that might have their own retrospectives at the Hirshhorn one day.

—Chris Kelly

Best Re-introduction of Old Favorites Corcoran Collection Gallery at National Gallery of Art East Building 4th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue NW, (202) 737-4215, nga.gov

the merger of the Corcoran Gallery of Art and the National Gallery of Art was com-

plicated, to put it mildly. Artists and visitors had no idea whether any pieces from the Corcoran Collection would ever be displayed on the National Gallery’s walls, but following the impressive and extensive renovation of the East Building, many of the Corcoran’s significant pieces have found new permanent homes. The standouts are the upstairs galleries dedicated to abstract expressionism and the Washington Color School.

Bright pieces by Willem de Kooning, Leon Berkowitz, and Gene Davis exist harmoniously across from Sam Gilliam’s “Relative,” given to the National Gallery in 1994. This one room perfectly encapsulates D.C.’s legacy as a training ground and home to some of the nation’s most significant artists.

—Caroline Jones

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 51

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Donna Slash of Homosuperior at MLK Jr. Memorial Library Basement

Best Punk Venue MLK Jr. Memorial Library Basement

When the Martin Luther King Jr. Library closed last month for a three-year renovation, D.C. didn’t just lose its biggest library, it lost its best punk venue. Ever since the MLK Library launched its D.C. Punk Archive—an ongoing project to chronicle the history of one of the city’s signature, homegrown sounds—it did so in the punkest way imaginable: by turning its large, underused basement performance space into a venue, hosting quarterly shows with some of the District’s best punk bands.

Sure, a show in the basement of a public library (which is a government-owned building, mind you) might not seem that punk, but consider this: How many all-ages spaces in the District do you know of that host free shows, where the venue doesn’t have to worry about operating costs, liquor license laws, or any of the other regulations traditional venues do?

As it goes, though, all good things must come to an end, and so this appreciation of the best punk venue in D.C. is more of an obituary.

So allow me to use this space then to reminisce about some of the best shows this special space hosted over the past few years: There was the official kickoff show in October of 2014, with Hemlines, Joy Buttons, and Flamers; Priests burning the house down shortly thereafter with Nox and Blockhead; a righteous dance party courtesy of Coup Sauvage & The Snips; and countless other excellent locals who’ve played the basement in just three short years (Puff Pieces, Governess, Homosuperior, Bad Moves, Psychic Subcreatures, Give, The Cornel West Theory, and The Black Sparks, just to name a few).

Who knows if there will be a space for these special shows when the library reopens in 2020—we hope so—but in the meantime, let’s fondly remember all the good times.

—Matt Cohen 52 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Matt Dunn

901 G St. NW, dclibrary.org

Ballet Across America programs curated by Misty Copeland and Justin Peck Opening Night Celebration Program (Mon.) Hosted by Sara Mearns, New York City Ballet principal dancer and other special guests Program curated by Misty Copeland (Wed./thu./Fri.) Featuring Nashville Ballet, The Black Iris Project, and Complexions Contemporary Ballet

The Black Iris Project, photo by Matthew Murphy

Program curated by Justin Peck (Sat./Sun.) Featuring L.A. Dance Project, Miami City Ballet principal dancers, The Joffrey Ballet, and Abraham.In.Motion

April 17 & 19–23 Opera House with the Kennedy Center Opera House Orchestra

tICKEtS ON SALE NOW! KENNEdy-CENtEr.Org | (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office.

Groups call (202) 416-8400.

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540.

Ballet Across America, a program of Arts Across America, is made possible through the extraordinary generosity of the Charles E. Smith Family Foundation.

Support for Ballet at the Kennedy Center is generously provided by Elizabeth and Michael Kojaian.

A PART OF

Support for JFKC: A Centennial Celebration of John F. Kennedy is provided by Ambassador Elizabeth Frawley Bagley, Chevron, The Blanche and Irving Laurie Foundation, and Target.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 53

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best Ethiopian Guitarist Legend & Guests in a Small Space

Best Ethiopian Guitarist Legend & Guests in a Small Space: Selam Seyoum Woldemariam at Enjera

Selam Seyoum Woldemariam at Enjera

Charles Steck

549 23rd St., Arlington, (703) 271-6040, enjera1.com

Best Segue into the New World Order Run the Jewels at Echostage

Best Segue into the New World Order: Run the Jewels at Echostage

2135 Queens Chapel Road NE, (202) 503-2330, echostage.com

Jan. 19, 2017: As the nation prepared to inaugurate its 45th president, the dread hanging in the air was palpable. The last thing anybody was in the mood for was an extremely lit hiphop show, and it was also the last thing rap duo Run the Jewels was in the mood for. Forced to cancel an earlier show at Echostage, they were given the option to reschedule on Inauguration Eve, and as group member El-P explained from the stage, “we were like ‘no thank you’” at first. Eventually, he and fellow rapper Killer Mike came around to the idea and blasted into their set with righteous fury and unrestrained joy. For that evening at least, the crowd let it all go, celebrated the Obama era, and reveled in some much-needed catharsis. During the brief interlude when the duo railed against the Commander in Chief-to-be, El-P roared, “You know what, history wants Run the Jewels here right the fuck now!” Can we have them here for the next four years, please?

—Stephanie Rudig Kristin McCarthy

54 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

since auGusT 2016, Selam Seyoum Woldemariam, the guitarist nicknamed “Ethiopia’s Jimi Hendrix,” has quietly led a band every Friday night on the small second-floor stage of Crystal City Ethiopian restaurant Enjera.

Woldemariam—who has lived in the D.C. area since 2000—isn’t flashy like Hendrix, but his role in Ethiopia in the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s (playing in the groups Black Soul, Ibex Band, and Roha Band) had a sizable musical impact in the East African nation. Moreover, it endeared him to music nerds elsewhere thanks to his appearance on the collection Éthiopiques 7: Erè Mèla Mèla. Decades later, Woldemariam and his band alternate between sets of funky instrumental lounge takes on soul classics and jazzy, Afro-psychedelic soul renditions of songs from his own catalogue and those of other Ethiopian and Eritrean songwriters. His sets feature guest Ethiopian vocalists like Habte Awolam as he impressively picks his trademark Gibson guitar, all while shouting out greetings to pals in the crowd.

—Steve Kiviat

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Best Soul Artist Who’s Big in Japan

Best Soul Artist Who’s Big in Japan: Aaron Abernathy

Aaron Abernathy

In the mIdst of your Washington-based musical meanderings, there’s a true need to note the quiet, yet important success of Cleveland-born and D.C.-based soulman Aaron Abernathy. Ab’s album Monologue was released in 2016, and yes, he has played (and continues to play) at Songbyrd, Tropicalia, barbecues, during the Funk Parade, and pretty much anywhere that would have him in the past year. But while that’s happening on the local level, he’s also touring Europe as the leader of indie rap legend Black Milk’s live band Nat Turner—and playing Japan in April in support of Monologue’s Japanese rerelease for BBQ Records. While “DMV rap” continues to be at the forefront of most local pop music fan’s minds, Abernathy’s success demonstrates how broad and sustainable the city’s soul/R&B movement really is.

His is a story of local-to-global artistic success worthy of support.

—Marcus K. Dowling

Best Place to Catch Up on OscarNominated Flicks The National Archives

700 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, (202) 357-5000, archives.gov

several local movIe theaters offer marathon screenings of all the Best Picture nominees in the weeks before the Academy Awards. But if you want to see all the flicks nominated for Best Documentary Feature or Best Animated Short, your options are limited to a select few independent movie theaters in the region. Luckily, the National Archives simplifies this process by showing all the documentary feature, documentary short, live action short, and animated short film nominees in the days leading up to the big show in its roomy McGowan Theater, most of which have limited commercial runs. If they have one at all, not only is a screening like this uncommon, it’s also free. All that’s missing is popcorn and Junior Mints.

—Caroline Jones

Best Dance Party Soundtrack For the Resistance Coup Sauvage & The Snips, Heirs to Nothing

Heirs to NotHiNg, the debut full-length album from Coup Sauvage & The Snips, wasn’t written as a resistance album. At least, that’s the presumption. No doubt that when the band wrote it, a Donald Trump 56 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Charles Steck

coupsauvage.com

Made possible in part by the Library of Congress Third Century Fund

A L I BRA RY O F CO N GRESS EXH I BI TI O N

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MESSIAEN: FROM THE CANYONS TO THE STARS The United States Air Force Band • David Robertson, guest conductor Deborah O’Grady, production director & photographer • Peter Henderson, piano

Fri, May 12, 8pm • DAR Constitution Hall Inspired by the beauty of Utah’s Bryce Canyon National Park, 20th-Century French composer Olivier Messiaen’s monumental work now receives a stunning new multimedia interpretation with images by photographer Deborah O’Grady (co-commissioned by Washington Performing Arts) in commemoration of the National Park Service’s centenary. Join us for this unforgettable free performance!

This performance is made possible by Altria. This project is supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts.

Washington Performing Arts’ 50th Anniversary Season is generously sponsored by Dr. Gary Mather and Ms. Christina Co Mather.

FREE

TICKETS: (202) 547-1122 • VelocityDC.org

Tickets required

TICKETS: WashingtonPerformingArts.org (202) 785-9727 washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 57

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Shauna Alexander

Best Dance Party Soundtrack For the Resisitance: Coup Sauvage & The Snips, Heirs to Nothing

presidency was something we all figured would happen only in an alternate reality.

Still, the themes on the album—songs about change and gentrification in D.C. and calling out liars, phonies, flakes, and authority—are more timely than ever. But most importantly, this is an album that will make you dance.

Inspired by various genres throughout the decades—Motown, disco, and glam—Heirs to Nothing is the anti-fascist, anti-gentrification, gospel, neo-soul dance party D.C. needs.

—Matt Cohen

Best New Dance Floor To Zone Out On

megaclubs and Top 40 nights? Dance yourself clean in Petworth.

—Chris Kelly

Ten Tigers Parlour

Best Place to Hear 2Pac and The Bee Gees Played Back-to-Back

3813 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 5062080, tentigersdc.com

Ten TiGers parlour bills itself as an “escape from the daily grind,” a combination bar, restaurant, and tea house. But up the stairs, through the cozy, fireplace-heated lounge and into a Chinese lantern-lit side room is one of the city’s best dance floors. Since opening in December, Ten Tigers has quickly become the home for D.C.’s electronic dance community. The space has hosted LGBTQ nights The Coven and Password, Regrets Only from ROAM DJs Chris Nitti and Lisa Frank, drum-and-bass showcase Cadence, and local institution Blisspop. Tired of

58 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Decades DC

1219 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 853-3498. decadesdc.com

decades dc, one of the city’s newest nightclubs, is a throwback to the good old days when the cool club kids actually danced and didn’t just pop bottles and look, er, cool.

Decades mainly plays music from the ’80s, ’90s, and early 2000s, and they have successfully recaptured the spirit of the era before pretentious VIP sections became de ri-

gueur. The retro party idea isn’t new to the city. Club Heaven & Hell in Adams Morgan had a long-running ’80s dance party night, but the Decades team has taken the approach to another level. Managing partners Antonis Karagounis and Arman Amirshahi thoughtfully decorated the interior with portraits of 2Pac and Biggie, working pinball and video game machines, and other detailed nostalgic flourishes. The concept works: The venue has three floors to satisfy your preference for Britney Spears, classic house, or old-school hip-hop. Decades has attentive hostesses and bartenders who cater to a culturally diverse crowd of all ages and experienced DJs that spin all the right club anthems and keep the dance floors packed.

—Sidney Thomas

Pete Seeger and the Power of Song Tribute to a Folk Legend

Photo by Karl Rabe

Presented in conjuction with the GRAMMY Museum® at L.A. LIVE

Special one-night-only concert featuring:

MIDWESTERN

GOTHIC

FARGO MEETS MISERY IN THIS DARKLY FUNNY MUSICAL THRILLER

Now through April 30

Photo of Morgan Keene and Sam Ludwig by Cameron Whitman

In a small desolate town, things are starting to get…strange David Amram

Rosanne Cash with John Leventhal

Judy Collins

Luther Dickinson

Sarah Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion

The Last Internationale

Kaia Kater

Roger McGuinn

Tom Paxton

Tony Trischka with Carmen Cusak

Josh White Jr.

Peter Yarrow and Noel Paul Stookey (of Peter, Paul and Mary)

April 15, 8 p.m. | Concert Hall

Support for JFKC: A Centennial Celebration of John F. Kennedy is provided by Ambassador Elizabeth Frawley Bagley, Chevron, The Blanche and Irving Laurie Foundation, and Target.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 59

Charles Steck

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best Comedy Empire Underground Comedy

undergroundcomedydc.com

“How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” According to the old vaudeville joke, “Practice, practice, practice.” The punchline holds true for comedians, and a local comedy scene isn’t worth its salt if there aren’t shows where stand-ups can find their voices and sharpen their acts.

Luckily, D.C. has Underground Comedy, an independent production company run by comedian-promoter Sean Joyce that hosts shows at a variety of venues six nights a week and just wrapped up its second Underground Comedy Fest. Most shows are free, whether at bars with longstanding comedy calendars like Wonderland Ballroom or new spots like Petworth’s Slash Run. UC has also carved out a semi-permanent home in the dark, brick-walled basement of the Big Hunt.

The Big Hunt hosts up-and-coming locals four nights a week, and 60 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

patrons can catch touring comics like Weekend Update anchor Michael Che, ex-D.C. resident Rory Scovel, and 2 Dope Queens podcaster and author Phoebe Robinson on Fridays and Saturdays. And word of Underground Comedy shows is making its way through the standup grapevine: Kevin Hart featured the Big Hunt on an episode of Comedy Central’s Hart of the City, and headliners like Louis C.K. and Patton Oswalt have dropped in for surprise sets at Big Hunt and Wonderland. C.K. and Oswalt know a thing or two about getting to Carnegie Hall—they’ve both sold it out—and they wouldn’t have gotten there without countless hours at open mics and free shows.

For a region that has produced not just Oswalt but also Dave Chappelle, Martin Lawrence, Wanda Sykes, and Mike Birbiglia, Underground Comedy is the perfect platform for comics who won’t be underground for long.

—Chris Kelly

April 14 | 7 p.m.

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Located on the Fairfax campus, six miles west of Beltway exit 54, at the intersection of Braddock Road and Rt. 123. washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 61

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best Social Justice Radio We Act Radio weactradio.com

for decades, WpfW—89.3 FM on your dials—has been home to all things jazz and justice in D.C. A pillar of the local music scene,

’PFW (as it’s known to listeners) has existed through the support of listeners—meaning no commercials and the freedom for DJs to get as political as they want in between songs. But ’PFW isn’t D.C.’s only social justice station: For the past several years, We Act Radio—an online radio station that broadcasts from its studio in Anacostia’s

62 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

historic district—has been the leading voice of the people of D.C. With broadcasts like The Bill Press Show, Off-Kilter, and The Zero Hour, We Act tackles the biggest issues facing District residents—from the affordable housing crisis to homelessness and gentrification—and isn’t afraid to take local politicians to task for making empty promis-

es. An administration change is always a bit of a weird time for the District, but with the Trump administration—one of the most tumultuous presidencies in recent history— dominating the headlines, it’s important for stations like We Act to continue covering the important issues facing our city.

—Matt Cohen

Thank you, Washington, for making The Camelot Showbar DC’s Best Strip Club!

1823 M Street, NW, Washington, DC 20036 (202) 887-5966 • camelotshowbar.com

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Our only competition is the second floor! washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 63

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best Jukebox Showtime Lounge

113 Rhode Island Ave. NW

The jukebox aT Showtime is the antithesis of those soulless digital jukeboxes spewing Top 40. This machine runs on a beautifully curated collection of CDs, mostly full of doo-wop, girl groups, and classic soul. The song catalog is a treasure trove of American artists, chock full of quirky categories and pairings, like a page of selections from Betty Everett and Bettye LaVette, and “Do the Do” featuring novelty dance songs that implore you to “do the (insert dance here).” The selection is so good that you could honestly just punch in random numbers and find something worthwhile, but it’s worth taking the time to pore over the list and find hidden gems. Best of all, rather than eating your money without playing your song or forcing you to hit the ATM, this jukebox is totally free.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Recycled Jazz Venue Sotto

1610 14th St. NW, (202) 545-3459, sottodc.com

SoTTo iS The name of the basement “smokery” in the basement beneath Ghibellina, an Italian eatery on 14th Street’s restaurant row.

The cocktails and beers are strong. The food tends toward decadence: Small plates include pork belly with sunchoke tostones, brisket with fingerling potato salad, and buttermilk fried cod. As for the music, there’s some funk and soul on the agenda, but more often it’s jazz guitarist John Lee (who leads a Tuesday night jam session), vocalist Nicole Saphos, or pianist Michael Price. Sotto’s building is also rather historic. Before moving in 2011 to H Street NE and quietly closing a few years later, the building at 1610 14th Street NW was home for more than 15 years to the much beloved jazz club HR-57.

Sotto doesn’t think of itself a jazz venue, mind you—but tell that to musicians and fans who get to open that door and be hit with a wild sax solo once again.

—Michael J. West

Best (Don’t Call it a) House Venue OTHERFEELS

Best Jukebox: Showtime Lounge 64 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Charles Steck

info@otherfeels.com

a reSilienT SpiriT, organized message, and a unique experience are the only ways to transcend the functional limitations of independent art. Not exactly a house venue in the traditional sense, OTHERFEELS is more like a showroom, a platform to showcase emerging performers with a particular feel. This Mt. Pleasant basement space—booked by James Scott and a range of collaborators—elevates

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT the DIY experience from ramshackle to purposeful. Their motto, lifted from a quote by visual artist Paul Klee, sums up their ephemeral aesthetic and creative drive: “One eye sees, the other feels.” The sounds of OTHERFEELS are largely genre agnostic. They have a knack for pairing disparate yet complimentary acts, always with a focus on exploration.

Back in June, they matched rising psych-math rock band Dawkins and loop sorceress Margot MacDonald, an unexpected spacey success.

Or how about when they paired rising electroR&B act April + Vista with modular synth project Black Lodge back in December? Choice. As an unlicensed space, OTHERFEELS is freed from the limitations of a traditional venue and is in a unique position to straddle the line between DIY and establishment. Their purposeful approach and future-forward sensibilities are a breath of fresh air to the DIY scene that has otherwise toiled in DCHC’s shadow.

—Peter Lillis

Best Place to See GoGo Before 11:30 p.m.

8229 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring, (301) 565-8864, societyss.com

IT’s well known that most go-go shows in the area don’t start until after 11 p.m., but on

Best Place to See Go-Go Before 11:30 p.m.: Society Restaurant & Lounge

Charles Steck

Society Restaurant & Lounge

Best Musical Omnivore Luke Stewart

lukethings.wordpress.com

There’s a good chance that if you already know Luke Stewart’s name, you associate him with jazz. The 30-year-old is not only a bassist of astonishing prowess, he’s also an editor and promoter at CapitalBop and a disc jockey and announcer for D.C.’s jazz-and-justice radio station WPFW. But there’s also a good chance that you associate Stewart’s name with something else. He plays with the blues-punk-rock band Laughing Man, for example. He’s also a member of the ethereal soundscape trio Mind Over Matter, Music Over Mind. He backs the propulsively melodic jazz saxophonist James Brandon Lewis; he’s part of the free-jazz collective Trio OOO; and he’s in the wholly genre-free music and poetry ensemble Heroes Are Gang Leaders. He’s currently preparing to release a solo album that features him performing on bass and amplifier as, he says, “equal creative partners.”

If you were to insist on putting Stewart into any kind of a box, however, he prefers “creative music.” Something of a free-associative term, it’s often used to refer to a tradition of improvised and experimental music that overlaps with but is not exclusive to jazz. He often used that label when booking (and participating in) improvisational acts at Gold Leaf Studios and Union Arts, two now-defunct DIY venues at which Stewart curated musical performances. But it’s also a term that allows for as little stylistic restraint as possible, and Stewart is happy to take advantage of that freedom. In collaboration with fellow explorers like guitarist Anthony Pirog, the sound can maneuver on a dime from jazz intricacies to speed-metal ones, then into thrash punk, psychedelia, and avant-garde noise. Then, the next time you see him, Stewart will be articulating the progressive jazz language of, say, trumpeter-composer Wadada Leo Smith with not just precision, but intensity—and no small vision of his own.

“Thank you for not pigeonholing me,” Stewart told City Paper in a 2014 interview. “Because I do enjoy listening and playing all of it, you know?”

—Michael J. West 66 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Discover the Cradle of the Emancipation Proclamation

Open 362 days a year For tickets or more info: Lincolncottage.org 202-829-0436 @LincolnsCottage 140 Rock Creek Church Rd NW, Washington, DC 20011

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 67

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Sundays at Silver Spring’s Society Lounge, the music gets started much earlier. Team Familiar, led by former Rare Essence member Donnell D. Floyd, play three sets, starting at 7:45 p.m. with a slow-tempo jazz-funk set and finishing at 11.30 p.m. with hardcore, polyrhythmic, rap-inflected Chocolate City crankin’.

The concept works, thanks to Team Familiar’s musical chops and party-starting skills.

Vocalists Ms. Kim, Marquis “Quisy” Melvin, and Frank “Scooby” Sirius add a “grown and sexy” tinge to the band’s Beyoncé covers and originals alike, while D. Floyd calls out to audience members, plays sax, and directs the tight rhythm section led by legendary percussionists Milton “Go-Go Mickey” Freeman and Jammin’ Jeff Warren. Though the weekly gig runs late by some standards, a pre-midnight finish is nearly revolutionary in the world of go-go.

–Steve Kiviat

Best Public Art: “Make Graffiti Great Again”

Best Taken-forGranted Jazz Gig Donvonte McCoy at Eighteenth Street Lounge 1212 18th St. NW, (202) 4663922, 18thstlounge.com

Show up at the same place for nearly 10 years, and you’re no longer a special guest: You’re part of the furniture. It’s inevitable.

It does not, however, diminish the quality of that furniture. Trumpeter Donvonte McCoy is on the receiving end of this tortured metaphor. He’s closing in on a decade’s booking at Dupont Circle’s Eighteenth Street Lounge, where his namesake quintet holds down the late-night shift on ESL’s third floor. McCoy’s music curves into soul, funk, hip-hop, fusion, and even the odd bit of electronica, but it’s always recognizably based in bebop. Sometimes the personnel changes; sometimes he features vocalists like Mavis Waters or George V. Johnson. But McCoy is always there, an essential part of the atmosphere at the trendy nightclub. And after all these years, he still packs them in.

—Michael J. West

Best Public Art

Stephanie Rudig

“Make Graffiti Great Again”

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DeSpite D.C.’S burgeoning resistance movement and a rich local history of street art, the city’s walls remain boringly pristine. Whatever happened to the glory days of teens defacing the length of the Red Line?

Where’d you go, Cool Disco Dan? Clearly somebody else in my neighborhood was bemoaning this lack of unsanctioned public art and scribbled the command to “make graffiti great again” on a Florida Avenue NE power box. Hopefully, others will soon hear the call to action and quite literally paint the town. (In typical D.C. fashion, however, this graffiti has already been painted over.)

—Stephanie Rudig

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ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT

Best New Venue Rhizome DC

6950 Maple St. NW, rhizomedc.org

Tom White

Recently, Rhizome Dc got rid of its firstfloor bathroom. That might not seem like a big deal, but knocking out that bathroom— which separated its kitchen from its performance space—makes a world a difference for Rhizome. Why does this matter so much? Because Rhizome DC isn’t just the best new venue in the District, it’s one of the best examples I’ve seen in a long time of how a small-scale venue can, and should, operate. And knocking out that bathroom—making it easier for patrons at a crowded show to see performers—is part of Rhizome’s commitment to being a longstanding venue for D.C.’s music community.

In less than a year, Rhizome DC has established itself as one of the best places to experience experimental and avant garde music and art. Situated in a unsuspecting house in the heart of D.C.’s Takoma neighborhood, Rhizome bills itself as a “nonprofit community arts space … dedicated to promoting creativity as a force for personal empowerment and community engagement.” And in true Takoma/Takoma Park fashion, it “strive[s] to provide a home for non-mainstream programming.” If you’ve been to an event at Rhizome, you know how true that is.

Since opening, it’s hosted an array of performers and artists—from free-jazz ensembles, to sound artists, to drone musicians, to poets, sculptors, and filmmakers—both locals and from as far away as Vienna, Austria.

But to get the best sense of just how special a place it is, consider some of its upcoming programming: locals like Super! Silver Haze! and Insect Factory; New York minimalist experimental ensemble Earth Tongues; an electroluminescent wire workshop, and guitarist Tom Carter. And that’s all just within a week.

Merging DIY house venue ethos with the business model of a nonprofit arts center—coupled with its exceptional curatorial instincts—is what makes Rhizome one of the best venues D.C. has seen in a long time. Let’s hope it’s here to stay. (And, never fear, it still has a bathroom upstairs.)

—Matt Cohen

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THE FAMOUS

COLLEGE PERFORMING ARTS SERIES

MCDOOGALS

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

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PARILLA PERFORMING ARTS CENTER: April 12-15, 2017, 8 p.m.

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April 23, 2017, 2 p.m.

Tickets are $10 Regular, $8 Seniors, $5 Students w/ID

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BACHELOR, FRATERNITY Angie Lockhart & BIRTHDAY PARTIES! Publicist BYOB! Robert E. Parilla Performing Arts Center Montgomery College MCDOOGALS.COM 51 Mannakee Street Rockville, MD 20850 phone 240-567-7538 fax 240-567-7542

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WWW.MRHENRYSDC.COM washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 71

ARTS& ENTERTAINMENT Best Local Music Blogger

Best Interactive Art: Lysa III by Jennifer Rubell at National Museum of Women in the Arts

Pat is Dope

patisdope.com

Jennifer Rubell, Lysa III, 2014; Fiberglass, resin, and steel, 72 x 62 x 24 in. Courtesy of the National Museum of Women in the Arts

paT is dope is everything you look for in a hip-hop blogger: He’s enthusiastic, knowledgeable, a gifted communicator, and a little bit cocky. But Pat has good reasons to be confident because what he’s accomplished without any major media affiliation is astonishing. Through his blog—a timely collection of music videos, concert footage, urban culture commentary, and artist interviews— he’s become something of a tastemaker, or “plug,” for both local and national musicians. Pat has interviewed an array of AList rappers (Kendrick Lamar, Iggy Azalea, Big Sean, Migos, A$AP Ferg), and he has a knack for catching them on the verge of superstardom. Pat’s influence resonates far outside the Beltway, though. He routinely travels to other cities and music festivals to interview artists. And through his other gig working with Shoe City as a brand endorser, he also reviews the latest sneaker releases.

—Sidney Thomas

Best Rock Star of the Second Half of 2017 Sean Barna

sean Barna’s doinG a back-and-forth between Brooklyn and the nation’s capital these days that probably feels like the start of a familiar story: how the city loses its stars-to-be. But Barna’s recent output— namely stark guitar ballads like his Paperhaus-aided “Straight Motherfuckers and Their Famous Friends”—highlights one major Barna talent that is truly worthy of across-the-board recognition. His voice. If #newDC is missing something, it’s a voice with grit that speaks to the city’s redeveloped streets. He has an album forthcoming in 2017, and here’s hoping that his creative spirit matches his affecting and ear-worming Springsteen-meets-Dylan-meets-Bonoesque brogue that’s arguably as pop-yet-alternative as the sum of those parts.

—Marcus K. Dowling

Best Interactive Art “Lysa III” by Jennifer Rubell at National Museum of Women in the Arts 1250 New York Ave. NW, (202) 783-5000, nmwa.org

The pasT feW years have been huge for interactive and audience-driven art hosted in the District, but amid some more wellpublicized spectacles, “Lysa III” by Jennifer Rubell was particularly, well, nuts. Featured in the National Museum of Women in

the Arts’ excellent multi-woman exhibit NO MAN’S LAND: Women Artists from the Rubell Family Collection (yes, Jennifer is a member of the titular Rubell family), it was a clear stand out. “Lysa III” is a life-sized sculpture of a woman styled like a garish blow-up doll with worryingly large plastic breasts who also happens to be a functioning nutcracker. Grab a walnut from a nearby bin, place it in the doll’s nether regions, and yank the leg down to break the nut with an extremely

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satisfying crunch (this has the added benefit of making the piece basically selfie-proof— you have to actually live in the moment for this one). It’s slightly menacing, weirdly funny, and totally made for these times. Rubell was directly inspired by Hillary Clinton nutcracker dolls, saying “I loved the idea of the act of cracking a nut being this kind of scary act of female power.” And when’s the last time you went to an exhibit with a nut allergen disclaimer?

—Stephanie Rudig

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GOODS& SERVICES Best Art Supply Store: Artist & Craftsman Supply

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 75

Readers’ Picks GOODS & SERVICES

Best Accounting Firm

Best Barre Studio

Best Carpet Cleaners (TIE)

Best Comic Book Store

Myrick CPA

The Bar Method DC

Ayoub N&H

Fantom Comics

Readers Say: “Charles Myrick never makes me feel rushed. He thoroughly explains my filings, reviews previous filings, and suggests ways to avoid pitfalls & penalties. He is an able advisor of how to enhance my lifestyle through thoughtful management of my resources. I highly recommend Myrick CPA. He goes the extra mile.”

Readers Say: “The Bar Method DC is fun, challenging, and run by a fantastic staff.”

805 15th St. NW, No. 805, (202) 7898898, myrickcpa.com

Runners Up: Culinary Accountants Inc., Freedom Services

750 9th St. NW No. 103, (202) 3477999, dc. barmethod.com

Runners Up: Biker Barre, The Dailey Method DC

Best Bike Shop

BicycleSPACE

Multiple Locations, bicyclespacedc. com

Drizly

Readers Say: “Best bike shop, and happens to be the most demographically diverse staff of any bike shop. Connection?”

drizly.com

Runners Up: The Bike Rack, City Bikes

Runners Up: Schneider’s of Capitol Hill, Minibar Delivery

Best Book Store

Best Alcohol Delivery

Best Architecture Firm

Studio 3877

3333 K St. NW, Suite 60, (202) 3504244, 3877.design Readers Say: “Not only does 3877 have a talented group of individuals, but their dedication and loyalty to not only their clients but the vendors they work with on a daily basis is above and beyond other firms in the industry. I am honored to work with 3877.”

Runners Up: R Michael Cross Design Group, Case Design

Politics and Prose

5015 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 3641919, politics-prose.com Readers Say: “Great books and events” Runners Up: Kramerbooks & Afterwords, Capitol Hill Books

Best Bus to New York

Tripper Bus

Multiple Locations, tripperbus.com Readers Say: “Good service. Clean buses. Easy to use web site. Easy cancellation process with refund applied to future travel.”

10516 Metropolitan Ave., Kensington, (301) 946-7944, furniturerugcleaning. com Readers Say: “They are the best! They have the friendliest customer service.

They helped us pick all of the carpet we have installed in our house, which we love. They also have done all of our carpet cleanings keeping our carpets beautiful, which is hard to go with 3 kids!

We recommend them to everyone!”

Normandy Carpet 7621 Rickenbacker Dr. No. 100, Gaithersburg, (301) 740-2005, normandycarpet.com

Readers Say: “Excellent carpet cleaning. They are the oldest company in the area. I have been a longtime customer.”

Best Cell Phone Provider

Verizon

Multiple Locations, (800) 922-0204, verizonwireless.com Readers Say: “Verizon Wireless is awesome. I have had them for years and plan to stay with the company!”

2010 P St. NW, (202) 241-6498, fantomcomics.com Readers Say: “Esther and her crew are amazing. I also love the events that they put on.”

Runners Up: Big Planet Comics, Third Eye Comics

Best Consignment Shop

Current Boutique Multiple Locations, currentboutique.com

Readers Say: “Love this place! The employees are so helpful and kind. They have a great under $30 rack of dresses and such fashionable clothes!”

Runners Up: Sage Consignment, Secondi

Best Contractor

David Waguespack Case Design

4701 Sangamore Road, North Plaza, Suite 40, Bethesda, (301) 229-4600, casedesign.com Readers Say: “Simply the best design in the city, bar none!”

Runners Up: T-Mobile, AT&T

Runners Up: Traditions General Contracting, Sylver Rain Consulting

Best Child Care

Best Crossfit Gym

Petit Scholars

CrossFit Balance

Best Arts & Crafts Supply Store

Runners Up: Bolt Bus, Best Bus

Fibre Space

Multiple Locations, (202) 506-3357, petitscholars.com

Multiple Locations, crossfitbalance.com

Best Cable Provider

Runners Up: Bright Horizons, Fingerprints Child Development Center

Readers Say: “Everyone is so nice and approachable. I’m always challenged and feel like I’ve accomplished something after each WOD. I can’t imagine being anywhere else. All the coaches are just wonderful, focused, and supportive. Truly the best of the best!”

1219 King St., Alexandria, (703) 6640344, fibrespace.com Readers Say: “This place is a jewel. Not only is the yarn great, but the staff is so warm and supportive and helpful. They make me feel like I can knit anything!”

Runners Up: Artist & Craftsman Supply, Michaels

Best Bank/ Credit Union

Industrial Bank Multiple Locations, industrial-bank.com

Readers Say: “This is the first time that I can say I love my bank! Industrial Bank not only provides great services, but it puts on numerous events for the community to increase financial awareness and literacy. I love my bank!”

Runners Up: Navy Federal Credit Union, PNC

RCN

Multiple Locations, rcn.com Readers Say: “They are fantastic! Great speeds, great prices, and very helpful when we need help with any issues!

They respond very quickly and are efficient to fix any of our issues.”

Runners Up: Verizon FIOS, Comcast

Best Car Share Service

car2go

Multiple Locations, car2go.com Readers Say: “I now go more places in the city than I did before I joined car2go. I can visit friends and do activities not easily accessed via public transportation. It’s easy and affordable.”

Runners Up: Zipcar, Getaround

Best Children’s Clothing Store

Dawn Price

Multiple Locations, dawnpricebaby.com Runners Up: Little Birdies Boutique, Baby Gap, Children’s Place

Best Clothing Boutique

Violet Boutique

3289 M St. NW, (202) 621-9225, violetdc.com Readers Say: “This boutique has everchanging inventory. You can go in every week for something new. Helpful staff.”

Runners Up: Nubian Hueman, Ezra Paul Clothing

Runners Up: CrossFit MPH, Crossfit DC

Best Dance Class

Chandra Hampton

Multiple Locations, chandrahampton. zumba.com Readers Say: “One of the best cardio classes ever! Chandra is warm and a lot of fun, but she will make you work.

Forget the treadmill or elliptical on the days you attend her class.”

Runners Up: Eric Ruiz Dance DC, Sahara Dance

GOODS& SERVICES Best Delivery service

Best Comic Book Store: Fantom Comics

From the Farmer

(202) 681-4383, fromthefarmer.com Readers Say: “Always amazing, fresh food and incredible customer service better than anywhere else!”

Runners Up: Steadfast Messenger Service, Uber Eats

Best Dentist

The DC Dentist

509 11th St. SE, (202) 544-3626, thedcdentist.com Readers Say: “Terry Victor is amazing!

His spirit is calming and his commitment to excellence is without question.”

Runners Up: Nishan Halim, DMD; Mint Dental DC

Best Doctor

One Medical Group

Multiple Locations, onemedical.com Readers Say: “So easy to make an appointment, locations all over D.C., and friendly doctors!”

Runners Up: Tina Celenza, PA-C, at WWH; Steven P. Davison

Best Dog Walk service

Wagtime

Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com Readers Say: “Very caring” Runners Up: Patrick’s Pet Care, District Dogs

Best Doggie Daycare

Wagtime

Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com Readers Say: “The staff is friendly and takes the time to know me and my dog personally. He loves going and I feel comfortable boarding him when we are required to travel knowing that he is with friends!”

Runners Up: City Dogs Daycare, Patrick’s Pet Care

Best Dry cleaner

Best Facial

The Press Dry Jenny Luu Skin Care Cleaning and Laundry 5530 Wisconsin Ave. No. 612, Multiple Locations, thepressdc.com

Readers Say: “Best customer service and fast cleaning services. Highly recommend.”

Runners Up: ZIPS Dry Cleaners, U Street Cleaners

Best eye Doctor

Dr. Hannah Yecheskel

11921 Rockville Pike #110, Rockville, (301) 984-3937, alleyesonrockville.com Runners Up: MyEyeDr, Dr. Melanie Buttross

Chevy Chase, (301) 533-7546, jennyluuskincare.com

Best Farmers market

Best FloWer shop

Dupont Circle Farmers Market

Lee’s Flower and Card Shop Inc

20th St. NW, (202) 362-8889, freshfarmmarkets.org

Readers Say: “The experience and services at JLSC are amazing. My face is flawless after my facials. They are the BEST in the area compared to others that I tried.”

Readers Say: “First in D.C. and still the best”

Runners Up: Green Revolution Skin Studio, TuSuva Body & Skin Care

Blue Sail

Runners Up: Eastern Market, Takoma Park Farmers Market

Best Financial services

2101 L St. NW, Suite 400, (202) 4678352, bluesailadvisors.com Runners Up: Fidelity, Edward Jones

1026 U St. NW, (202) 265-4965, leesflowerandcard.com Readers Say: “Hands down classic and chic.” “The service is amazing.” “It’s been open since 1945 and is spectacular.”

Runners Up: Caruso, Urban Stems

Best FooD Delivery service

Uber Eats

Multiple Locations, ubereats.com Readers Say: “Let’s me get stuff from farther away.”

Runners Up: Washington’s Green Grocer, Postmates

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GOODS& SERVICES Best FooD mArket

Best Car Share Service: car2go

Each Peach Market

3068 Mt. Pleasant St. NW, (202) 5251725, eachpeachmarket.com Readers Say: “Being able to afford local, fresh produce and goods is lamentably a massive privilege, but if you can, this is the best market to patronize. Curation of goods is excellent.”

Runners Up: Glen’s Garden Market, Broad Branch Market

Best gArDen store

Ginkgo Gardens

911 11th St. SE, (202) 543-5172, ginkgogardens.com Readers Say: “They really know their stuff and they have EVERYTHING” Runners Up: Fragers Hardware, Old City Farm & Guild

Best getAwAy/escApe From D.c.

Shenandoah National Park nps.gov/shen

Readers Say: “Something for everyone who loves the outdoors: camping, hiking, kayaking, tours, kid-friendly.

Beautiful. Lots of wildlife, so better love wild animals!!!”

Runners Up: Charlottesville, Annapolis

Best green Business

Community Forklift

4671 Tanglewood Dr., Hyattsville, (301) 985-5180, communityforklift.org Readers Say: “A wonderful community resource and much needed service that prevents huge amounts of usable construction material from entering landfills. Their creativity, commitment, and dedication to their mission has been extraordinary and they deserve this award!”

Runners Up: Love & Carrots, Little Wild Things City Farm

Best grocer

Glen’s Garden Market Multiple Locations, (202) 588-5698, glensgardenmarket.com

Readers Say: “Best grocery in town by far! Their mission should be the pulse of the community.”

Runners Up: Trader Joe’s, Mom’s Organic Market

Best gym

VIDA Fitness

Multiple Locations, vidafitness.com

helpful. The facility, locker room, showers, work out areas, are always clean.”

Runners Up: Balance Gym, Sport&Health

Best hAir sAlon

Salon XYZ

1807 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 986-0707, xyzsalon.com Readers Say: “A wonderful, independently-owned salon tucked away on Florida Ave.” Runners Up: Thomas Shelton Hair Design, Michael Anthony Salon

Readers Say: “Trainers and instructors are top notch and ALL the staff are friendly, approachable, and always

Best hAir stylist

Geneva Fishman at XYZ

1807 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 986-0707, xyzsalon.com Readers Say: “Very talented, skilled, and knowledgeable and welcoming and engaging—cannot ask for more.”

Runners Up: Manuel Solorzano, Quarita Futrell

Best hAnDmADe Accessories

Best hAnDmADe eco-FrienDly proDucts

skincando

(888) 903-7766, skincando.com Readers Say: “I have been using this for years and love the product.”

Runners Up: Joyful Bath Co., Handmade Habitat, Hunny Bunny

Best hAnDmADe home Decor

Tanglewood Works

Hernan Gigena

5132 Baltimore Ave., Hyattsville, (415) 595-9839, tanglewoodworks.com

Runners Up: All Things B. Alexis, Stitch & Rivet

Readers Say: “A great place to find that unusual piece that makes a statement beautifully.”

hernangigena.com

Runners Up: Melted Element, Salt & Sundry

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A SIBLEY BABY IS

Join our family here at Sibley.

Welcome the new love of your lives with confidence and comfort at the new Sibley Memorial Hospital. Our birthing suites, expanded special care nursery and allprivate postpartum rooms provide the perfect setting for your new arrival. It’s why more families choose Sibley than any other hospital in Washington, D.C. Take a virtual tour of our new state-of-the-art facilities at sibleybaby.org.

#SibleyBaby Tell us about your Sibley Baby!

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 79

GOODS& SERVICES Best hAnDmADe proDucts For kiDs

Best Bike Shop and Best Place to Get Your Bike Fixed: BicycleSPACE

Oh Bessie!

(240) 324-8054, ohbessie.com Readers Say: “Super cute clothing! They always come out with the cutest new stuff.”

Runners Up: Yinibini Baby

Best hAnDymAn

FRED Home Improvement

4701 Sangamore Rd. #40, Bethesda, (301) 560-3733, schedulefred.com Runners Up: Karma Home Designs, Hourly Husbands

Best hArDwAre store

Fragers Hardware 1323 E St. SE, (202) 543-6157, fragersdc.com

Readers Say: “Best ‘home town’ store ever!”

Runners Up: Annie’s Ace Hardware, Logan Hardware

Best home gooDs store

Urban Dwell

1837 Columbia Rd. NW, (202) 5589087, urbandwelldc.com Readers Say: “Great variety of items!

You have to see it to believe it. You want to stop in NOW!” Runners Up: Salt & Sundry, Home Rule

Best hospitAl

Sibley Memorial Hospital

5255 Loughboro Road NW, (202) 5374000, hopkinsmedicine.org/sibleymemorial-hospital Readers Say: “The best place to have a baby, and the NICU nurses are absolute rock stars!”

Runners Up: George Washington University Hospital, MedStar Georgetown University Hospital

Best inDiviDuAl personAl trAiner

Michael Everts

(202) 255-7814, personaltrainer.com/ trainer/profile/michael-everts/119

Beyonce vs Madonna, and the everpopular Sufferfest.”

Runners Up: Zengo Cycle, CYCLED!

Best lAnDscApe/gArDen Design

Hawthorne Garden Design

2908 32nd St. NW, (202) 744-5978, hawthornegarden.com Readers Say: “We love working with Hawthorne Garden Design and the lovely Ms. Belt herself! Great customer service, and great work!”

Runners Up: Ginkgo Gardens, Backyard Bounty

Schneider’s of Capitol Hill

300 Massachusetts Ave. NE, (202) 543-9300, cellar.com Readers Say: “Expert knowledge of wine and superb customer service.”

Runners Up: National Holistic Healing Center, Capital City Care

Tiyana Robinson Beauty

David Benowitz

Runners Up: Gary Altman, Esq. - Altman & Associates, Noah B. Peters

Best inDoor cycling stuDio

Best liFestyle Blog

Off Road

PoPville

Readers Say: “This place is amazing!

They are constantly coming up with great ride ideas, like pop up trivia,

Readers Say: “If you want to know what’s going on in D.C., you might want to read this blog. It’s also great for showing off your pet in the Animal Fix column.”

popville.com

Runners Up: Blog.Apartminty.com, Brightest Young Things

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6925 Blair Rd. NW, (202) 465-4260, takomawellness.com

Best mAkeup Artist

Readers Say: “Tiyana is the best makeup artist in the DMV!”

Readers Say: “He’s an experienced and dedicated lawyer. Excellent attorney!”

Takoma Wellness Center

Readers Say: “Far as l am concerned, it could be the one and only. There is a lovely family and a great staff!”

(973) 951-4265, tiyanarobinson.com

409 7th St. NW #222, (202) 529-9374, criminallawdc.com

Best mArijuAnA cultivAtion supplier

Runners Up: Calvert Woodley Fine Wines & Spirits, Batch 13, Harry’s Reserve

Best lAwyer

Runners Up: Deanna Cordova, Jermaine Ennis

Multiple Locations, (202) 681-1319, offroaddc.com

Best liquor store

Runners Up: Mimi Tran, Josie’s Faces

Best mAni/peDi

IZZY at Roche Salon 3000 K St. NW, (202) 775-0775, rochesalon.com

Readers Say: “Best mani pedi two years in a row always gets the job done she nails it every time.”

Runners Up: Enchanted Nails & Spa, Joy’s Spa

Best mArtiAl Arts clAsses

Seichou Karate Dojo

807 N Royal St, Alexandria, (571) 2575401, seichoukarate.com Readers Say: “The Spirit of the Dojo is about ‘fighting’ for the right values in this world and not just about fighting.”

Runners Up: Warriors Karate, District Combatives

Best meD spA

Unwind Wellness Center

Multiple Locations, (202) 333-3334, unwindwellness.com Runners Up: Blush Med Skincare, Logan 14

Best Selection and Prices since 2013!

• Accessible for the Disabled • 100 feet from the Takoma Red Line Metro Station • Free, Off Street Parking

! ow h s Ask u

MARIJUANA CAN HELP! Become a DC Medical Marijuana Patient.

202-465-4260 /info@takomawellness.com

www.takomawellness.com

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 81

GOODS& SERVICES Best men’s grooming lounge

Grooming Lounge 1745 L St. NW, (202) 466-8900, groominglounge.com

Readers Say: “The first and best of its kind!”

Runners Up: Barber of Hell’s Bottom, Wise Owl Club

Best movers

Bookstore Movers

5200 46th Ave., Hyattsville, (202) 5704697, bookstoremovers.com Readers Say: “Talk about commitment... wonderful service and employees!!”

Runners Up: Town & Country Movers, Able Moving & Storage

Best pAinter

Karma Home Designs

1990 M St. NW #250, (202) 642-4663, karmahomedesigns.com Runners Up: David Mahoney, Christopher Philbrick, Tech Painting Co., Wow 1 Day Painting

Best pest control

Innovative Pest Management

Multiple Locations, ipm4u.com Readers Say: “Simply amazing. Best company in pest control in the area.

Small, family owned and operated and able to provide service better than the big boys!”

Runners Up: American Pest, Connor’s Pest Control, PestNow

Best pet services

Wagtime

Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com Readers Say: “Love all of the friendly and helpful staff there!”

Runners Up: Sit-A-Pet, Patrick’s Pet Care

Best pet shop

Wagtime

Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com Readers Say: “They are awesome.”

Best pilAtes stuDio

Best plAce to Buy instruments

Fuse Pilates

House of Musical Traditions

1401 14th St. NW, (202) 588-7333, fusepilates.com Readers Say: “They are closely monitoring form and technique during all classes, so everyone gets individualized attention. Plus, it’s fun!”

Runners Up: District Pilates, Reformation Fitness

Best plAce to Buy A suit

Ezra Paul Clothing

1608 17th St. NW, (202) 518-7285, ezrapaul.com Readers Say: “You will receive individualized attention and care. The store has class and the suits are made to perfection. Many patterns and designs to choose from to suit a variety of tastes.”

7010 Westmoreland Ave., Takoma Park, (301) 270-9090, hmtrad.com Readers Say: “HMT has a wonderful selection of instruments and stellar customer service.”

Runners Up: Crown Pawnbrokers, Chuck Levin’s Washington Music Center

Best plAce to Buy jewelry

Legendary Beast

1520 U St. NW, (202) 797-1234, legendarybeast.com Readers Say: “Legendary Beast is the place to find unique nonpolluting gifts for men and women. Antique, vintage, and handcrafted jewelry.”

Runners Up: Read Wall, Suit Supply

Runners Up: Gala Artisan Jewelry & Gifts, Crown Pawnbrokers

Best plAce to Buy Beer

Best plAce to Buy wine

Fenwick Beer and Wine

1327 Fenwick Ln., Silver Spring, (301) 650-5770, fenwickbeerandwine.com Readers Say: “Not only does this place have every beer you could ever possibly dream of, but they also have the charm of a neighborhood shop. They know the names of my whole fam and shower my pup with treats at every visit. Definitely my favorite beer and wine store in the DMV!” Runners Up: Craft Beer Cellar, Schneider’s of Capitol Hill

Best plAce to Buy eyeglAsses

Warby Parker

Multiple Locations, warbyparker.com Runners Up: All Eyes On Rockville, Costco

Best plAce to Buy Fur hAnDcuFFs

Hart’s Desires

3613 Saint Barnabas Rd., Suitland, (301) 516-9898, hartsdesires.com Runners Up: Secret Pleasures Boutique, Bite The Fruit

DCanter A Wine Boutique

545 8th St. SE, (202) 817-3803, dcanterwines.com Readers Say: “Absolute best wine store.

Michael and the staff are incredibly knowledgeable. Their wine tasting classes are can’t miss events!!!”

Runners Up: Schneider’s of Capitol Hill, Trader Joe’s

Best plAce to get wAxeD

Cera Wax Studio

4866 Cordell Ave., 3rd floor, Bethesda (301) 657-2372, cera-studio.com Readers Say: “Always the best service, no matter if it’s before, after, or during treatment. Getting a bikini wax has never been less awkward and painless!

Once I found Melissa at Cera Wax, I’ve looked no further.”

Runners Up: Enchanted Nails & Spa, Waxing with Aggy

Best plAce to get your Bike FixeD

BicycleSPACE

Runners Up: Howl To The Chief, Metro Mutts

Best plAce to Buy home Furnishings

Multiple Locations, bicyclespacedc. com

Best photogrAphy services

Hudson & Crane

Runners Up: The Bike Rack, City Bikes

Erin Scott Photography

52 O St. NW, (301) 458-0581, erinscottphotography.com Readers Say: “Erin captures real life, but with a sharpness that makes her photos heavenly.”

Runners Up: Chris Ferenzi Photography, Claire Harvey Photography, Nadine Molas

1781 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 436-1223, hudsonandcrane.com Readers Say: “I love going to Hudson & Crane every time I’m in the area. The store is a fantastic source of inspiration, and their staff are super knowledgeable and passionate about their work.”

Runners Up: Modern Mobler Vintage Furnishings, Miss Pixie’s Furnishings & Whatnot

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Readers Say: “Man, I LOVE this place!”

Best plAce to get your cAr serviceD (tie)

Capitol Hill Auto Service

615 Independence Ave. SE, (202) 543-5155

Distad’s

823 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, (202) 543-0200, Readers Say: “Outstanding, high-quality service. Been going there for 40 years. I now just tell them to check it all out and fix whatever needs fixing.”

Runners Up: Auto Tech Services

Best plAce to get your crAckeD phone screen FixeD

DMV Unlocked Wireless

Multiple Locations, dmvunlocked.com Readers Say: “Quick, reliable, best prices, and the staff is awesome. I don’t go anywhere else.”

Runners Up: UBreakIFix, CrackedMacScreen

Best plAce to holD your event

Josephine Butler Parks Center

2437 15th St. NW, (202) 462-7275, washingtonparks.net/josephinebutler-parks-center Runners Up: 201 Bar, National Building Museum, The Loft at Dacha Beer Garden

Best plAstic surgeon

Steven P. Davison

3301 New Mexico Ave. NW, #236, (202) 966-9590, davinciplastic.com Readers Say: “I am a happy patient of Dr. Davison. He is the BEST on planet Earth. Dr. Davison and his team are super professional and friendly!”

Runners Up: Austin-Weston Center for Cosmetic Surgery, Dr. Christopher Chang

Best plumBer

Spartan Plumbing

3708 Bladensburg Road, Brentwood, (800) 882-0194, spartanman.com Readers Say: “Really nice and affordable service” Runners Up: Karma Home Designs, Stevens Plumbing

Able Moving & Storage

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for voting us amongst the Best Movers and Best Storage Company in the DMV!

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202-547-1208 | 410 H Street, NE info@hotyogacapitolhill.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 83

GOODS& SERVICES Best reAl estAte Agent

Best Book Store: Politics and Prose

Silvana Dias

silvana.dias.lnfre.com

Readers Say: “Best place ever” Runners Up: Silky Smooth, Threads

Best thriFt store

Runners Up: Craig McCullough, Jennifer Knoll

Value Village

Best reAl estAte group

Multiple Locations, valuevillage.com

Fulcrum Properties Group

Runners Up: Georgia Avenue Thrift Store, Unique Thrift Store

Best vet

1328 G St. SE, (202) 573-8552, fulcrumpg.com

District Veterinary Hospital

Readers Say: “Dealing with the Fulcrum Properties Group is an absolute pleasure. The members of the group are personable, efficient, and effective, and professional. I would consider no other firm for any real estate transactions.”

3748 10th St. NE, (202) 827-1230, districtvet.com Readers Say: “Doctor Dan is so good to our furball! The whole staff is wonderful.

Very holistic approach/whole animal health. Love this whole team.”

Runners Up: City Chic Real Estate, Greenline Real Estate

Runners Up: AtlasVet, CityPaws Animal Hospital

Best recorD store

8700 Georgia Ave., Silver Spring, (301) 585-3269, joesrecordparadise.com Readers Say: “Great selection glad to see the tradition continuing!”

Runners Up: Joint Custody, Smash Records, Som Records

Best riDe shAre

Lyft

lyft.com

Best shoe store

Comfort One Shoes

Multiple Locations, comfortoneshoes. com

Best tAttoo pArlor

Unwind Wellness Center

Runners Up: Emerald Door Spa, Azure Dream Day Spa

Roof Solutions

Best speciAlty FooD store

Best running store

Pacers

Glen’s Garden Market Multiple Locations, (202) 588-5698, glensgardenmarket.com

Readers Say: “Glen’s Garden Market exists to make climate change progress by serving good food from close by, and by growing relationships with partners who treat their land, their animals, and their ingredients with respect.”

Multiple Locations, runpacers.com

Runners Up: Rodman’s, The Chocolate House

Runners Up: Fleet Feet, Potomac River Running

Best storAge compAny

Best shoe repAir

JK Moving Services

Philip’s Shoe Repair

808 Upshur St. NW, (202) 726-5762, Runners Up: George’s Shoe Repair, Corrective Shoe Repair

719 T St. NW, (202) 483-5929, cheryllofton.com

Best spA

Best rooFers

Runners Up: Karma Home Designs, Maggio Roofing, Pond Roofing, Samuel Boyd Roofing & Guttering

Cheryl Lofton

Runners Up: Mr. Christopher Kim, JC Lofton

Runners Up: Uber, Via

Readers Say: “Excellent customer service!”

Best tAilor

Runners Up: DSW, Nordstrom Rack

Multiple Locations, (202) 232-2232, unwindwellness.com

Multiple Locations, (301) 565-2600, roofsolution.com

Dupont Threading

Multiple Locations, dupontthreading. com

Readers Say: “Bends over backwards for her clients. Truly wants to find the right house for her clients and is so knowledgable about the area and about renovations.”

Joe’s Record Paradise

Best threADing

44112 Mercure Cir., Sterling, (703) 2604282, jkmoving.com Readers Say: “Great care is taken with items put in storage—our experience was excellent. All items were handled with care and available to us exactly when needed. Thank you, JK.” Runners Up: Able Moving & Storage, Hilldrup Moving and Storage

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Fatty’s Custom Tattoos Multiple Locations, (202) 452-0999, fattystattoos.com Readers Say: “The tattoo artists can bring any idea to life with creativity, precision, and technique. Best in D.C. without a doubt!”

Runners Up: Laughing Hyena Tattoos, Tattoo Paradise

Best teA shop

Calabash Tea

1847 7th St. NW, (202) 525-5386, calabashdc.com Readers Say: “Making tea cool again!

So much more than a tea house. Poetry readings and Bruja Kombucha on tap.”

Runners Up: Pearl Fine Teas, Teaism

Best therApeutic mAssAge

Wat Massage

1804 Vernon St. NW, (202) 588-9393, watmassage.com Readers Say: “Go see Aaron for trigger point if you suffer from migraines. It’s the *only* thing that has worked for me!”

Runners Up: Unwind Wellness Center, Freed Bodyworks

Best vintAge clothing store

Vintage & Charmed Classic Clothing

1231 Good Hope Road SE, (202) 7708303, vintageandcharmed.com Readers Say: “Vintage & Charmed Classic Clothing provides the best vintage clothing. They care about their clients and customers. The service is superior and the owner is exemplary in all she does! Love, love, love Vintage & Charmed Classic Clothing!”

Runners Up: Bespoke Not Broke, Meeps

Best wireless proviDer

Verizon

Multiple Locations, (800) 922-0204, verizonwireless.com Runners Up: T-Mobile, AT&T

Best yogA instructor

Mimi Rieger

(202) 641-4788, mimiriegeryoga.com Readers Say: “Mimi is the most inspiring teacher in the city. She gets to know every student, both in practice and personality.

Everyone loves her, not to mention she delivers one incredible workout.”

Runners Up: Brandon Copeland, Amy Rizzotto

Best yogA stuDio

Yoga District

Multiple Locations, yogadistrict.com Readers Say: “Such an easy place to do yoga at your own pace, time, and flexibility. Love it.”

Runners Up: Flow Yoga Center, Hot Yoga Capitol Hill

Thank you for voting Silky Smooth among the best places for eyebrow threading in the DMV! Get 10% OFF your next visit. We appreciate your business.

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Staff PickS GOODS & SERVICES

Best NewsletterCompetitor 730DC

730dc.com

The DisTricT is an early-rising town, and this local newsletter, which goes out at 7:30 a.m. during the workweek, knows it. But beyond providing the convenience of reading aggregated content on Metro or while drinking your morning coffee, it’s a well-curated cross-section of D.C.’s media market, pulling articles from the Washington Post, yours truly, and various other outlets. 730DC, whose organizers keep a low-profile, has the trappings one would expect of millennial urbanists and progressives, sometimes veering into advocacy. It’s chock full of weekly events, and it recently launched a Spanish version on Thursdays. All the same, don’t miss City Paper’s District Line Daily.

—Andrew Giambrone

Best Spring Cleaning Miss Pixie’s

626 14th St. NW, misspixies.com

There’s no quesTion that Miss Pixie’s is a standout furniture and antiques shop: It’s been a fixture in Best of D.C. for many years running. For a while, though, it felt a little bit like visiting your hoarder grandma’s house, which meant treading with caution around narrow walkways and being careful to avoid knocking over a delicate set of crystal. Lately, though, the aisles are wider, items are more thoughtfully grouped together in similar categories, and the displays near the windows are arranged like a showroom. When I inquired about the new look, the salesman insisted that there wasn’t any master plan and that the organization is simply an ongoing process. All I know is it’s now much easier for me to make a beeline for the vintage postcard bin.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Bookstore Twitter Account Capitol Hill Books @chbooksdc

iT only everyone on Twitter could be like Kyle Burk. As a volunteer at Capitol Hills Books, he tweets better than most people who are paid to do it. A recent one, posted with a photo of books by Tolstoy, Chekhov, and Pasternak, among others, reads, “Confession: We’ve been secretly meeting with the Russians for years.”

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Best Spring Cleaning: Miss Pixie’s

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Best Architecture Firm Case Design/Remodeling, Inc.

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Best Handyman Fred Home Improvement

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capitolhillbooks-dc.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 87

GOODS& SERVICES

Charles Steck

Best Place to Buy Plants and Comic Books: Exotic Planetarium and Card & Comic Collectorama

And when Burk’s writing entry placed second in City Paper’s 2017 Fiction Contest, he tweeted from the store account, “@kylesburk, who may or may not have anything to do w this account, won 2nd place in the @wcp fiction competition. In other words: he lost.”

A writer for the Mexican embassy, Burk began tweeting for the C Street used bookstore in 2015. “I suppose my initial goals were to cast shame upon fans of Paulo Coelho, tell a few bad jokes about German philosophers, and share our quasi-religious fervor for good books,” he says. “As our customers know, we don’t shy away from voicing our opinions on non-book matters like politics as well. But our ultimate allegiance is to books and advancing their cause as the only worthy companion to the absurdity of the human condition.” His hashtag for that philosophy: #WeAllDieAloneButSomeOfUsDieWellRead.

—Liz Garrigan

Best Place to Buy Plants and Comic Books Exotic Planetarium and Card & Comic Collectorama 2008 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria, (703) 548-3466

iT’s kinD of incredible that a store like Exotic Planetarium and Card & Comic Collectorama exists, let alone that it’s been around since 1974.

The legend of Exotic Planetarium goes something like this: Its owner, Dennis Webb, grew up in Alexandria, and his mom owned a vintage and antique store in Del Rey. When he was a kid, his mom let him have a small corner of her store for his own inventory of the stuff he loved: comics, sports cards, and other pop culture ephemera.

Eventually, Webb grew up and got a degree in horticulture. But he didn’t go on to be a botanist or anything like that. Instead, he took after his mom and opened up his own shop just down the street: Exotic

88 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Planetarium, which merged his love of comics and cultural collectibles with his other love of plants and horticulture. Those two worlds could not be more distant, yet somehow they work together at Webb’s store, where you can find vintage Superman comics as easily as you can find exotic succulents for your terrarium.

But the most charming thing about Exotic Planetarium is its peculiarity, which is rare to see in the increasingly affluent and bougie neighborhood of Del Rey. After more than four decades, Exotic Planetarium has survived long enough to become a neighborhood staple. The market for comic books and exotic flora isn’t exactly bustling, but Webb has managed to turn his quirky little shop into a kind of tourist destination.

—Matt Cohen

GARDEN CENTER & LANDSCAPING

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ON-SITE CONSULTATION – Looking to expand or merely to improve? Let Ginkgo Gardens help solve your problems, offer solutions, and make recommendations with an on-site consultation. Let us evaluate your soil, growing, and lighting conditions while helping to recommend the optimal type of garden for your home or business.

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 89

GOODS& SERVICES Best Boutique to Buy a Fancy Notebook and Freak Out About Your Organizational Skills (or Lack Thereof) Jenni Bick Custom Journals

1300 Connecticut Ave. NW, Suite 101, (202) 721-0246, jennibickdc.com

I consIder myself a fairly organized person—a plus for a writer—but when I walk into this newly opened custom journal store in Dupont Circle, I immediately feel shame for not being more so. It’s a stationary enthusiast’s dream with modern flair: Notebooks of all different colors and styles adorn shelves along the walls and tables at arm’s reach— some leather, others moleskine. Many of Jenni’s products, from bound books to tailor-made albums, will set a customer back dozens of dollars; the highest-quality ones, more than a hundred. These are no grammar school supplies, after all. Note to self: Never waste a single page. —Andrew Giambrone

Best Secret Newsstand Charles Steck

News World

1001 Connecticut Ave. NW; (202) 872-0190

Best Secret Newsstand: News World

In 2015, we declared The Newsroom in Dupont Circle the best place to buy magazines in D.C. It probably still is, but now that magazines are to readers what 200gm virgin vinyl is to audiophiles—and since the departures of Barnes & Noble from the city center and Borders from existence (and their expansive news racks along with them)—there’s room to celebrate more than one purveyor of periodicals in this town. News World, which shares ownership with the nowshuttered location of the same name in Farragut, is hidden away in the woebegone GWowned Shops at 2000 Penn without so much as a name on the glass to announce its off-street presence. Nevertheless, magazine lovers will find it more than worth a visit. With fewer indie titles than the closed location had in its heyday, News World still offers plenty of variety for browsing (strengths include politics, culture, foreign affairs, and business—oh and of course porno and weapons too) and some second chances at interesting back issues. Come and enjoy wandering the sometimes idiosyncratically organized racks.

Where else could you find Ebony right next to Maxim?

—Jandos Rothstein

area in a Venn diagram of past and present. It’s like Oleson’s Mercantile (that’s a Little House on the Prairie reference, millennials) meets a rentcontrolled Whole Foods. The Post once dubbed the store, family-owned and operated since 1955, “the weirdest little drugstore in Washington.” While it has one of the best beer selections in the city, it’s also a place where the pharmacist will help little old ladies figure out which shoe insert to buy. The wine section draws some of the snootiest oenophiles around, flush as it is with competitively priced choices, but hey, if you’re in the market for one of those ugly plastic tablecloths the likes of which your grandma always had, you can find that too. Imported cookies, smoked French cheeses, and expensive chocolates and soaps all share space with cigarettes, lotto tickets, and random medical supplies like walkers and bedpans. It’s small, offering personal and friendly service, but somehow it has just about everything, including regular wine tastings.

—Liz Garrigan

Best Place to Shop When You Need Beer and a Bedpan

Best Mode of Transit Amid Metro Decline

Rodman’s

BanIsh the Image of a matronly woman in bright-white Reeboks charging around the track. (Unless that’s you. If so: Work it.) If not: Replace the image with yourself, wearing what you want, hauling butt down the sidewalks of D.C.

Power Walking

5100 Wisconsin Ave., among other locations, (202) 363-3466, rodmans.com

located on wIsconsIn Avenue just a block and a half from the Friendship Heights Metro stop, my favorite Rodman’s is like the shaded

Best Place to Shop When You Need Beer and a Bedpan: Rodman’s

90 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

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GOODS& SERVICES

You can do a solid march with long strides, or go mellow and and make it a stroll. Add an arm swing if you want. This is less about the power and more about the walking. If you’re lucky enough to be able-bodied, have an unconstrained morning routine, and live within three miles of work, consider the possibilities.

Bicyclists think they own righteous transportation. They’re wrong. Look at them— they run red lights, run into pedestrians, and pay money for their extensive gear collections.

Power walkers, on the other hand, mind their business. They have no obnoxious pro-walking blogs, demand no special street paint, and get no credit for their contributions to increased ease of transit for all.

Burning calories is a mere side benefit of power walking. Don’t miss the point by incorporating fitbits and exercise apps, and don’t ruin it by checking your phone the whole time.

Chances are you need to burn stress more than calories. Try observing the patterns on old manhole covers instead. They’re not all the same. Or look at trees and buildings. And what’s the point of living in a city if you can’t sing out loud in public? Give your mind a break.

—Alexa Mills

Best Mode of Transit Amid Metro Decline: Power Walking

Best Bodega Old City Market and Oven 522 K St. NE, (202) 544-0600, oldcitymarketandoven.com

The DisTricT Doesn’T have a great bodega culture, thanks to zoning restrictions and an unfortunate lack of bodega cats. So maybe it’s no surprise that NoMa’s Old City Market and Oven succeeds by being more than a bodega, with a record player, a cafe, a pizza oven, and a collection of books. Old City is run by Curt Hansen, a socialist who’s as interested in providing a couple of jobs and building community in the neighborhood as he sells bodega essentials like detergent. For the Women’s March on Washington, for example, Old City offered free coffee all day. —Will Sommer

Best Business Voicemail Message High Dive

firsT, They geT you with the good oldfashioned fake out, making it seem as though a gruff old woman has picked up the line, only to abruptly start reciting the operating hours. Once that’s finished, the woman exclaims, “Boy oh boy, that’s a son of a bitchin’ mouthful!” The message then takes a dark, stream-of-consciousness turn, covering topics from the owners (“they’re great guys, but one time they beat me mercilessly”) to the menace of birds (“forget it with birds—they’ll kill them all”). Don’t expect a call back, though: The High Dive permanently closed its doors in March. As the anonymous voicemail message recorder

once said, “All right, all right, enough with the small talk.”

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Wedding Caterer Eat and Smile

when planning a wedding, a good rule of thumb is that the most expensive vendors are also the most stressful. Based in upper Northeast, the catering company Eat and Smile bucks that trend. I got married in March 2016, and starting from the initial inquiry, general manager Katie Rotramel and owner/Chef Oliver Friendly were responsive, enthusiastic, and friendly. The food was excellent, too, and not just during the small preview they arranged. My guests would not shut up about their meal—the mac and cheese sticks in

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particular—and even the signature cocktails were a hit. Eat and Smile also hosts regular Chef ’s Table events, which are more scaleddown events that don’t require so much careful planning. My wedding was a boozy night, with guests complaining they were hung over for days, so our locally-sourced menu left a more memorable impression than any postdessert debauchery.

—Alan Zilberman

Best Booze Store with a Bar Town Center Market

4705 Queensbury Road, Riverdale Park, (301) 277-9271, towncentermarket.net

riverDale park is one of those hidden

gems of a town situated just outside of the District. Quietly sitting just south of Route 1 between Hyattsville and College Park, Riverdale Park is a quiet neighborhood community with a quaint town square. And at the heart of the town square is perhaps the best booze store in the DMV. Town Center Market has the best selection of craft beer, wine, and liquor I’ve come across anywhere in the D.C. area, but it’s true appeal is the fact that there’s a small bar in the store that serves delicious and rare craft beer on tap. Moreover, it has a small patio right next to train tracks where you can drink outside and watch the trains pass, if that’s your thing. You can’t find that experience anywhere in the city limits.

—Matt Cohen

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GOODS& SERVICES

Charles Steck

Best College Hookah Lounge Hangout: Queens Café and Hookah

Best College Hookah Lounge Hangout

Best Medical Practice for Ladies

Best Wedding Venue

Best Place to Rent a Tux

Josephine Butler Parks Center

Geoffrey Lewis

Queens Café and Hookah

Capital Women’s Care

college sTuDenTs looking for their last move of the night should consider Queens Café and Hookah in Adams Morgan. At around $24 a hookah, you won’t break the bank if you split the tab with a few friends. While the banquette seating is a little ratty, and the bathrooms are not the finest in D.C., the music and clientele make up for it. Migos, Young Thug, and Biggie can be heard bumping from the outside, and on the inside the DJ is busy making sure everyone has something to milly rock and dab to while they get their smoke on. The $5 cover is worth the wait you may have to endure, and the café is 18+, so you won’t have to split with the younger members of your group.

—Devan Cole

leT’s Be honesT: Going to the gynecologist is not really something to which anyone looks forward. When you do have to go, you want the experience to be as pleasant as possible, which is exactly why Capital Women’s Care’s D.C. office thrives. From the check-in with hyper-organized receptionists to the lobby, wellstocked with magazines and sometimes very cute newborns, you feel taken care of before you ever see the stirrups. Doctors encourage you to relax and ask questions, and they respond quickly. Best of all, the whole place lacks the stale, chemical smell of medical offices, and you don’t have to cover up with only a paper vest. A cotton hospital gown has never felt cozier.

—Caroline Jones

overlooking a corner of Malcolm X Park, Josephine Butler Parks Center doesn’t leave a lasting impression on the average passerby. Still, the building has built a reputation as the city’s most popular, affordable wedding venue. In fact, if you live here long enough, chances are you’ll attend a reception here at least once. Unlike an art gallery or restaurant, which restrict usage of their space, Josephine Butler Parks Center offers its clients use of an entire mansion, including complimentary use of tables and chairs. From the ceremony through the cocktail hour and dinner, the venue’s staff is helpful and accommodating. The balcony is gorgeous, too, since it overlooks the park and creates an opportunity for more intimate photos. Most importantly, everyone at JBPC was committed to making my wedding special, even when they worried that the dance party was causing the ground floor chandeliers to shake too much. —Alan Zilberman

if you live in D.C. long enough, you’re going to attend an event that requires formal wear.

For those people who are on the gala circuit, it makes sense to own a tuxedo. For the rest of us, though, rental is the way to go.

Geoffrey Lewis has the look of luxury. The location (two blocks from the White House), typography of the logo, and dark-wood interior speak to elegance. But the experience is anything but pretentious. Do you have zero fashion sense and can’t begin to explain the difference between a shawl collar and peaked lapel? No problem. Staff will walk you through the process and explain your options. The interaction is relaxed, efficient, and low-key (i.e. not intimidating or snooty at all). Rentals aren’t their primary business—this is a company known for its custom suits—but, you’ll

2405 18 St. NW, (202) 3350290, queenshookah.com

2141 K St. NW, Suite 808, (202) 331-9293, cwcare.net

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GOODS& SERVICES receive expertise from people who understand fit.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Place to Get a Suit Education Ezra Paul Clothing

1608 17th St. NW, (202) 5187285, ezrapaul.com

ezra paul lizio-kaTzen knows suits.

His namesake boutique in Dupont is representative of his overarching brand: streamlined, approachable, and focused on quality.

Lizio-Katzen believes in educating his customers so they can make informed choices.

This means deconstructing suits. He keeps a number of them in his store that are cut open—to see with your own eyes the difference in construction between products made

by Jos A. Bank, Tom Ford, and Z Zegna. It’s a crash course in stitching and materials.

It’s also a quick way to learn about the differences between hand and machine stitching and the benefits of full-canvassed versus half-canvassed jackets. Before Lizio-Katzen opened his shop, he worked at high-end companies like Saks Fifth Avenue, Armani, and Zegna. His work experience translates into a passion for his industry and a joy for educating clientele. He also runs a fact-dense blog that delves into business clothes culture, like when to get your jackets dry cleaned and why Trump always wears clothes that are too

large. He is a man on a mission to make D.C. fashionable and discerning one suit at a time.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Way to Get Out of D.C. American Airlines Shuttle at Reagan National Airport 1 Aviation Circle, Arlington, (703) 417-8000, flyreagan.com

The service offereD by the American Airlines Shuttle (f.k.a. the Eastern Air Lines Shuttle, the USAir Shuttle, and, briefly, the Trump Shuttle) is simple enough: hourly departures from Reagan National to New York and Boston. Yes, other airlines offer flights to both destinations, but none matches the urbanity of “The Shuttle.” Dedicated check-in counters and departure gates allow passengers to step away from the chaos of Terminal B. Passengers skew older and more business-y. (As Nora Ephron wrote about an earlier iteration, “Everyone carried a briefcase. Everyone was dressed for success. Everyone was serious.”)

Complimentary magazines and newspapers are available at the gate, and beer and wine are free on board after 10 a.m. An hour after takeoff, you’re on the ground again and ready to continue your day. The glamour of air travel has all but disappeared. At least on this flight, you won’t encounter pajama-clad youth.

—Caroline Jones

Best AfricanAmerican Barbershop Cuttin’ Up

750 N St. NW, (202) 789-9253, facebook.com/CuttinUpDC

Best Place to Rent a Tux: Geoffrey Lewis

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as “chocolaTe ciTy” turns into a more colorful vanilla swirl, black-owned businesses across the city are struggling to stay open. But for Anthony Quildon, his small, three-person barbershop has remained both a community pillar and a lucrative business since its opening in 1997.

Quildon, known to most as Stoney, takes pride in owning what he calls a “country club for black people.” For Stoney, black barbershops have traditionally been a place for men to discuss the current issues of the day while getting a clean shape-up.

“Successful black men will drive miles into the city to visit their black barbers,” he says. With the help of his two employees, Juan Stewart and Connie Boggerr, Stoney says that he strives to facilitate “clean debates, not power debates.”

At 49, Stoney has been cutting hair in D.C. for 25 years. Last October, Cuttin’ Up moved from its original home at 1206 9th St. NW to its current spot on the north side of the convention center. Although the classic black barbershop aesthetic was left behind, the shop’s hospitality, as well as its most interesting patron, has not. Ask anyone who goes to Stoney’s about “Paco,” and they will undoubtedly smile.

Paco, a formerly homeless Vietnam War veteran and, according to Stoney, a “bonafide alcoholic,” is a staple at Cuttin’ Up. “He shows up every day, on time, before the barbers,” Stoney says. Paco can be seen sweeping the shop’s floors, running to the corner store for the barbers, and even paying their bills for them. The occasional joke will roll off of Paco’s tongue as he gleefully speaks to every customer in the shop. Stoney says that the shop’s success is partially owed to the homeless population to whom he once provided free haircuts on Sundays.

“They did a lot for me,” he says. “They used to spread the word about the shop by passing out flyers to cars and people around the city.” This, in addition to the shop being the only black barbershop in the area, has allowed Stoney to keep it open despite neighborhood changes. Well aware of the gentrification that has drastically altered the neighborhood, Stoney is quick to note that his business has experienced virtually no effects. With his new location, Stoney anticipates many more years of business serving his older, regular customers as well as the new young professionals who appreciate a good cut and a place to discuss any and everything on their mind.

—Devan Cole

Discipline. Focus. Confidence. Strength.

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GOODS& SERVICES

Best Place to Buy Food You’ve Never Heard Of: Hana Japanese Market

Best Place to Buy Imported Candy, Cheap Beer, and German Magazines: Cafe Mozart

Best Place to Buy Imported Candy, Cheap Beer, and German Magazines Cafe Mozart

1331 H St. NW, (202) 3475732, cafemozartdc.com

Best Yoga Apparel Store: Summit to Soul

Best Yoga Apparel Store Summit to Soul

727 8th St. SE., (202) 4501832, summittosoul.com

LuLuLemon summons strong feelings within the yoga-obsessed population. People love it, hate it, or love-to-hate the company. Summit to Soul is the independent retail alternative for yogis in the D.C. area. The store is set up like an apparel boutique but has the heart of a fitness store. Owner Kimberly Wattrick has an eye for high-quality items that are sustainably sourced and ecofriendly, including sports bras, yoga pants, and outerwear. She also hosts fitness events

such as weekly runs that start at the store and go throughout Capitol Hill. Wattrick’s vision goes beyond simply being a place to shop before brunch. Her brand’s approach is friendly, encouraging, and open to people of different fitness levels. And that’s a breath of fresh air.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Place to Buy Food You’ve Never Heard Of Hana Japanese Market

2004 17th St. NW, (202) 939-8853, facebook.com/hana.japanese.market

the first ruLe of Hana Market is you

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don’t talk about Hana Market. Otherwise, the onigiri rice balls will be sold out by noon.

Rule No. 2 is don’t peruse the market’s overstuffed aisles in a hurry because there’s so much to be discovered. Some snacks, like brightly colored mochi balls and boxes of Pocky sticks, will look familiar, but branch out by picking up packets of instant curry, frozen boxes of natto, trays of sea urchin, an array of Japanese vegetables, and bottles of C.C. Lemon that best Gatorade any day.

Hana Market, owned by Ikuyo and Yoshio Tanabe, evolved out of a travel agency, and D.C. is better for it.

—Laura Hayes

What is it about European candy that makes it seem so much more appealing than generic American offerings? Is it richer or less cloyingly sweet, or does it just remind us of late night snacks purchased during college trips abroad?

Whatever the reason, these cravings can be filled downtown at Cafe Mozart, the convenience store offering everything from fancy cocoa and all varieties of Kinder chocolates to bratwurst and German-language tabloids.

There’s even a display case showcasing Bayern Munich apparel, should you need a gift for the soccer fan in your life. The hodgepodge of items in the store, decorated with cardboard cutouts of its namesake, almost distracts visitors from the restaurant in the back. Even if you’re not interested in schnitzel or sauerbraten, happy hour remains a steal, with a liter of beer going for a mere $9.95.

—Caroline Jones

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Charles Steck

GOODS& SERVICES

Best Place to Go When You Need a Gift: Urban Dwell

Best Store that Gives You Greenhouse Envy Little Leaf

1401 S St. NW, (202) 5062131, littleleafshop.com

if you TurneD a greenhouse into a shoppable experience, the result would be Little Leaf. The store is the latest concept from Amanda McClements, owner of local chain Salt & Sundry. The sunny space includes products you would find at a small nursery, perfect for urban shoppers who don’t have space to house a garden. Shoppers will enjoy houseplants that fit perfectly on a windowsill or a desk, including succulents, cacti, and snake plants. There is also a variety of greenery-inspired paper products, candles, jewelry, and books. Little Leaf is a reminder of how plants change the energy of a room and the importance of keeping a connection to the

earth in the middle of a city. Even if you don’t have a green thumb.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Place to Go When You Need a Gift Urban Dwell

1837 Columbia Road NW, (202) 558-9087, urbandwelldc.com

whaT you will first notice when walking into Urban Dwell is that it’s full. Products are everywhere. This is not to say that it’s messy or unkempt, just that every flat surface holds something interesting and new. It’s a delightful exercise in discovery. As you make your way through the store, items will remind you of specific people—as in, “Oh, this would be perfect for my Mom,” or, “My nephew would get a kick out of this.” The magic of this store is

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that it is a perfect blend of price points and personality types. It takes the pressure off of gift giving and acts as a one-stop shop for everyone on your list. Urban Dwell is especially good for people who are pressed for time or frantically running to an event. Pop in, walk around, and you’ll be sure to find an offering that will delight the receiver.

—Kaarin Vembar

Best Blend of Art and Retail Arts Walk at Monroe Street Market 716 Monroe St. NE, monroestreetmarket.com/arts

iT’s noT uncommon in these development-heavy times for the “arts” moniker to be slapped on apartments or shops in the hopes of projecting a hipper vibe. The Arts

Walk at Monroe Street Market doesn’t just talk the talk, it actually walks the arts walk.

Just about every artistic discipline is recognized here, from ceramics to oil painting to marble sculpture to leatherworking. Though there are a few dedicated shops and places to grab a bite, the majority of the spaces along the walk are versatile studios that serve as both workspaces and storefronts. This gives you the opportunity not only to take home a goodie, like a new leather clutch, but also to see how the sausage gets made. There are also some niche curiosities, like the American Poetry Museum, the Center for Byzantine Material Arts, and a band instrument repair shop. The best times to swing through are Thursdays, which feature live music and many open studios, and Saturdays April through December, when the farmers market is up and running. —Stephanie Rudig

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GOODS& SERVICES Best Browsing Experience: Red Onion Records

Best Art Supply Store: Artist & Craftsman Supply

Best Place to Go if You Have No Idea How to Decorate Your Apartment Hudson & Crane

1781 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 4361223, hudsonandcrane.com

while mosT inDepenDenT retail is struggling to remain open, Hudson & Crane is one of a handful of stores in D.C. that has managed to grow this year. The furniture store/interior design company took over the lease next door, doubling its floor space. Customers now have a wider range of options and examples to help them project their style into a space.

While other chain furniture stores hire sales associates, Hudson & Crane’s staff are interior designers. The store is essentially a design studio that happens to have beautiful sofas, rugs, and candles for sale. This means customers can tap into expertise that will bring their Instagramworthy decorating dreams into reality. It’s a refreshing antidote to larger furniture stores that offer formulaic responses and pre-fab products to a mass audience. The shopping experience is personal, creative, and focused on solutions that are perfect for your apartment. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Browsing Experience Red Onion Records

1628 U St. NW, (202) 780-7735, redonionrecords.com

now ThaT everyBoDy is rediscovering vinyl records, they want to build out their collections. Instead of re-gifting your loved one a record covertly stolen from your parents’ shelves or, god forbid, buying the new Taylor Swift album at Urban Outfitters, spend your time searching for something at U Street’s Red Onion Records. New and used albums are organized alphabetically and by genre, but there’s no computer system keeping track of what’s in stock, so you’re forced to dig for the good stuff.

The low-key staff doesn’t mind if you move

things around or ask questions, and they seem genuinely interested in what you’re purchasing. It’s such an unfussy shopping experience that you find yourself relaxing and losing track of time while discussing the merits of John Denver and Willie Nelson. —Caroline Jones

Best Art Supply Store Artist & Craftsman Supply

1201 Brentwood Rd. NE; artistcraftsman.com

unlike some more corporate-facing art stores, Artist & Craftsman Supply actually seems like it’s meant for artists. Rather than boring linoleum and fluorescent lights, the walls and concrete floors are splattered with colorful paint, and the hand-painted signs in the windows are refreshed frequently. In addition to a vast selection of the higher-end supplies a fussy artist requires, they have a

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variety of craft supplies and kids’ art kits, as well as stationery and other fun trinkets.

Artist & Craftsman Supply is always accepting pieces from local artists to display, and they’ve recently dedicated a wall to a featured artist of the month. The chain is 100% employee owned, giving the staff not only stock options but input into how the store is operated, and most employees are artists themselves.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best New Workout SweatBox

1612 U St. NW No. 101, (202) 5889252, sweatboxdc.com

a new workouT that helps you get hightech wrecked has debuted inside the U Street location of VIDA. SweatBox combines aspects of spinning, CrossFit, and TRX classes into an

hour-long session that comes with measurable results since participants wear heart rate monitors. The instructor-guided class alternates between spinning on a bike that lights up different colors depending on how hard you’re working and time in your “box” where you move through exercises like TRX rows, squats, and every push-up variation on earth. Know that if you cross the finish line, an icy, eucalyptus-scented towel is your reward. The first class is free and you don’t have to be a VIDA member to sign-up.

—Laura Hayes

Best Jewelry Repair Robert Laurence Jewelers 1202 G St. NW, (202) 783-7355, robertlaurencejewelers.com

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9325 Fraser Avenue, Silver Spring, MD 20910 washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 103

GOODS& SERVICES light switch and a dresser drawer and needed a quick fix, the big sign advertising “JEWELRY REPAIR” in the window of Robert Laurence Jewelers told me I was in the right place.

After carefully marking where the chain was broken and writing up a detailed report, the salesperson told me to retrieve it in a few days but warned he’d have to solder things back together and that the fix would be visible. One week and $15 later, my necklace was as good as new, reconnected so carefully that the broken link is only visible if you squint. Sixty years after its founding, the service is still affordable and impeccable.

—Caroline Jones

Best Vacuum Cleaner Repair Hyattsville Vacuum Service

5221 Baltimore Ave, Hyattsville, (301) 277-3553, hyattsvillevacuum.com

in a house on the brink of disarray, a vacuum cleaner is the last line of defense in the war between order and chaos. So you can imagine my utter fear when, a few months ago, my roommate threw his hands up in exasperation and shouted, “Welp! The vacuum cleaner is broken.” What do you do in that situation? Buy a new vacuum cleaner? That seems expensive, and when you have one you like a lot, it seems drastic. It turns out that repair shops for this appliance, like Hyattsville Vacuum Repair, are still a thing. Though my expectations were low (after all, I didn’t know such places existed), the experts there exceeded them by fixing our soldier-against-chaos in a timely, affordable manner. Furthermore, this place has been in business for 75 years. And holy shit, that’s a long time!

—Matt Cohen

Best FedEx Print Shop 16th and K Street

1612 K St. NW, (202) 466-3777, fedex.com

Do noT go to FedEx unless absolutely necessary. Support your local independent print shop, get a desktop printer, sneak it into the office print queue (everybody does that, right?), but do not go to FedEx. But if you must go to FedEx, there is one acceptable location: 16th and K. The attentive staff has the workflow down pat, so you won’t be left floundering while the person in front of you attempts to ship 30 packages. The self-service stations, unlike those at so many other locales with immovable settings and broken scanners, actually allow you to perform the service yourself, plus there are enough stations on hand to meet demand. It also offers services not available at other branches, like a large format self-service scanner and printer. Best of all, it’s open 24 hours, so they won’t judge if you’re in there stress-crying about a project disaster at 2 a.m.

Don’t ask how I know. —Stephanie Rudig 104 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Vacuum Cleaner Repair: Hyattsville Vacuum Service

Best Gym Shower Area Flywheel

824 9th St. NW, (202) 6847208, flywheelsports.com

in comparison To the gym bathrooms of my youth, where the soap dispensers were perpetually empty and everyone was naked, the locker rooms at indoor cycling gym Flywheel are basically a spa. They resemble something you’d see on HGTV: shelves piled high with warm towels that cover your whole body and frosted glass stall doors that allow you plenty of privacy without making you feel like you’re locked in a box. Lemon-scented shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and lotion come from Bliss, and glass containers filled with cotton swabs, hair ties, and bobby pins sit on seemingly every surface. Want to refresh your post-

Thank you for voting us Best Green Business of 2017!

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 105

GOODS& SERVICES workout hair with dry shampoo? They’ve got that. Need a hair dryer? They’ve got two. The most thoughtful detail, though, is the aerosol deodorant, for those among us who always forget to pack it in our bags. —Caroline Jones

Best Tourist Attraction for People Who Already Live in D.C. The Streetcar

say whaT you will about the streetcar, but it’s fun to ride once. H Street NE’s isolation from the rest of the city—the official reason the streetcar exists in the first place—makes it a perfect treat for Washingtonians who are cranky about the project but have never actually ridden it. You can enliven any trip to Toki Underground or the Rock & Roll Hotel by offering your out-of-quadrant guest a chance to ride the much-discussed streetcar. And with no plans yet to charge, this good time isn’t going anywhere—and certainly not quickly.

—Will Sommer

Best Consignment Shop The Chic Shack

1230 H Street NE, (202) 7333194, the-chicshack.com

LoTs of consignmenT and vintage shops carry an air of condescension, turning their noses up at any non-luxury design-

er items you’re trying to sell and implying that if you have to ask about price, you can’t afford it. Chic Shack is the exact opposite.

Shopping there feels more like going to raid your best friend’s closet. On top of being super friendly and helpful, the staff is always serving up their own unique and inspiring looks, and they’ll be (kindly) honest about whether that lime green spandex dress is actually working on you. The shop offers a healthy mix of new retail and resold pieces, and while it boasts the occasional mint condition Louboutins selling for close to full price, the store’s specialty is finds that will have you bragging about the bargain like a Midwestern mom. Pro tip: Follow The Chic Shack on Instagram to see the best items as soon as they come in (as well as a masterful use of the Boomerang tool).

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Place to Buy Used Music Gear Atomic Music

11011 Baltimore Ave., Beltsville, atomicmusic.com

PLaying music is not exactly a cheap career or hobby, especially considering musicians don’t exactly rake in the dough. A new decent guitar or bass will easily set you back hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. And if you’re a musician (like me), constantly on an unattainable

Best Indie Bookstore East City Bookshop

645 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. Suite 100, (202) 290-1636, eastcitybookshop.com

Best Tourist Attraction for People Who Already Live in D.C.: The Streetcar

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The book indusTry is walking a curious tightrope. Bookstores that used to be so ubiquitous across the U.S (Barnes & Noble, Borders, B. Dalton) have largely disappeared into a black hole created by Amazon and a shrinking brick-and-mortar economy. Yet there is still a yearning for the old-fashioned book-shopping experience.

Sometimes it’s helpful simply to be in the same space as books. The solitary act of reading can be supplemented with wandering around aisles, picking up random titles, and inhaling the scent of pages. Being in the presence of books is an act of hope—that answers can be found, that there’s a world where imagination is paramount, and that you will finally, finally pick up a copy of War and Peace.

Though so many bookstores are no longer with us, independent stores have experienced a renaissance and have become a surprising protagonist of the industry’s retail story. New, indie stores have been popping up, giving readers a renewed sense of hope that they can reclaim their sacred space.

East City Book Shop is one of those. Opening last April to excited Southeast D.C. patrons, it offers a selection of new titles in a cheery space. Its goal was to be reflective and supportive of its Eastern Market neighborhood, and in just a year the store has managed to become a touchstone for patrons and part of the community’s DNA. Of course, to be a bookstore these days isn’t simply to open shop and allow novels to gather dust. D.C. is full of ravenous, type-A readers who long for engagement beyond shopping. So East City has created a wide variety of events that reach out to people of different backgrounds and experiences. This means hosting storytimes for children, acoustic rock shows inspired by literature, and an audiobook/crafting club, among a host of other creative offerings. Their deep love of reading and the yearning to support and spread that to others is clear. Which is one reason this indie gem has a dedicated fanbase that is only set to grow.

—Kaarin Vembar

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GOODS& SERVICES

Best Rising Streetwear Brand DRIFT Apparel USA

Best Place to Buy Used Music Gear: Atomic Music

Best Blend of Art and Retail: Arts Walk at Monroe Street Market tone quest to find the perfect sound, the hobby can be quite a drain on your bank account.

So if you’re ever looking to gear up without going bankrupt, I humbly suggest Atomic Music in Beltsville, Md. It’s essentially a giant warehouse of used music gear—hundreds of guitars, 108 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

basses, amps, keyboards, effects pedals, etc.— all at reasonable prices. Moreover, the staff at Atomic is everything you could hope for in a music clerk: Friendly, extremely knowledgeable, and willing to knock some bucks off your purchase.

—Matt Cohen

much like The area’s thriving yet exclusive underground hip hop and rock scenes, exciting fashion is available in the DMV only to those who seek it. Without an established industry to support large-scale, professional-caliber productions, scrappy local independent designers are distinguished not by the vastness of their work but by their subtleties and consistency.

The tag for DRIFT Apparel USA doubles as a mantra for today’s creative class: “Not All Who DRIFT Are Lost.” Founded by Arlington’s Luis “LeftFingers” Lizama and operating within the Bespoke Universe collective, DRIFT is finding its way into Washington’s closets with subtle but evocative streetwear design. A glance through the 2017 DRIFT Look Book reveals a handful of familiar graphic design tropes intertwined—clean logotype, Japanese characters, traditional tattoo illustrations, vaporwave pixelation, etc.—to great effect. Their new line finds Lizama refining and updating his video game-inspired aesthetic, while keeping the signature DRIFT feel consistent throughout.

A proclaimed graphic designer, illustrator, motion graphics editor, musician, and DJ (and more), Lizama is expanding the multi-media footprint for DRIFT and Bespoke Universe. Select branded engagements at venues around town (Songbyrd, The Fridge) featuring local MCs and DJs (Sir E.U., Trace Lee, LeftFingers) allow DRIFT to showcase their work in a more natural environment than, say, a gallery show. Fans of DRIFT are rabid and growing in numbers. Be sure to add one of their hoodies next time you’re playing Hipster Bingo around the city, and keep your eyes on the clouds.

—Peter Lillis

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 109

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★★★★★ “Nomadic Real Estate has been a pleasure to work with.

They are prompt, organized, professional and have made the process of finding, moving into, and living in DC a breeze!” ★★★★★ “This company does what they say and gets its done promptly. Never have I had a better experience with a real estate company.”

★★★★★ “I am pleased to not have to worry about my home back in DC while I am on the other side of the world!”

★★★★★ “I never got the feeling that I didn’t matter to them, no matter how many properties they were managing.”

★★★★★ “They take care of EVERYTHING and will help you with any issue related to your rental unit. If you were thinking of renting a property, call them.”

Learn more about the industry’s most dynamic team today nomadicrealestate.com 110 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

PEOPLE& PLACES Best Swamp: Kenilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens

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REAdERS’ PiCkS PEOPLE & PLACES

Best ApArtment Building

Runners Up: School Without Walls, Gonzaga College High School

Best Neighborhood to Go Out In: H Street

Newton Towers

Best house of Worship

1435 Newton St. NW, (202) 413-2439, newtontowers.com

World Mission Society Church of God

Readers Say: “Clean, affordable, great neighborhood, accessible and professional management. Would recommend to anyone!”

700 A St. NE, (202) 506-4220, washingtondcwmscog.com

Runners Up: Park Chelsea at the Collective, Highland Park Apartments

Runners Up: All Souls Church Unitarian, St. Mark’s Episcopal Church

Best ChArity event

Best life CoACh

Mrs. DC America Pageant

Sara Oliveri

1050 17th St. NW, No. 1000, (202) 6815483, saraoliveri.com

mrsdcamerica.org

Best College/university

Readers Say: “Sara is absolutely amazing. She is caring, insightful, and knows her stuff. Working with her truly changed my life.”

Georgetown University

Best loCAl CrAfter

Runners Up: DC Central Kitchen’s Capital Food Fight, Lucky Dog’s “Let’s Get Lucky” Casino Night

Runners Up: Bonny King-Taylor, Frank M. Brown Jr.

37th and O St. NW, (202) 687-0100, georgetown.edu

Stitch & Rivet

716 Monroe St. NE No. 3 shopstitchandrivet.com

Readers Say: “Its students are great.”

Runners Up: American University, The George Washington University

Readers Say: “Brilliant leather goods”

Best Community Blog

Runners Up: Rachel Pfeffer, Beth Baldwin, Kuzeh Pottery, The Lemon Bowl

PoPville

Best loCAl instAgrAm ACCount

popville.com

@WeThePeopleDC

Readers Say: “Updated regularly, it’s the voice of true D.C. locals.”

instagram.com/wethepeopledc

Runners Up: Baby Friendly America, Petworth News

Readers Say: “Showing what real peoples’ lives are like in the capital city”

Best elementAry sChool

Runners Up: @dcglutenfree, @acreativedc, @ igdc

Washington Yu Ying PCS

Best loCAl sports plAyer

Alex Ovechkin

220 Taylor St. NE, (202) 635-1950, washingtonyuying.org

Runners Up: Bryce Harper, John Wall

Best loCAl sports teAm

Readers Say: “Washington Yu Ying is amazing! The kids love going there every day and learn Mandarin in an eye blink. The staff is very nurturing and the principal is an exceptional visionary!”

Runners Up: Inspired Teaching Demonstration PCS, Creative Minds International PCS

Washington Nationals washington.nationals.mlb.com Best grAduAte progrAm

Georgetown University

37th and O St. NW, (202) 687-0100, georgetown. edu Readers Say: “Excellent educational facility well located in the capital” 112 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Runners Up: The George Washington University, American University

Best high sChool

Woodrow Wilson Senior High School

3950 Chesapeake St. NW, (202) 2820120, wilsonhs.org

Runners Up: Washington Capitals, D.C. United

Best middle sChool

DC International School

3220 16th St. NW, (202) 808-9033, dcinternationalschool.org Readers Say: “The staff is amazing.

PEOPLE& PLACES They know my daughter and challenge her. For a growing school in a transitional space, they make the most of their time with our children.

My daughter is above grade level in all subjects ... and she’s happy!”

Best plACe to dAy trip

Best plACe to volunteer

Annapolis

Food & Friends

Runners Up: Shenandoah National Park, Baltimore

219 Riggs Rd. NE, (202) 269-2277, foodandfriends.org

Runners Up: Inspired Teaching Demonstration PCS, Alice Deal Middle School

Best plACe to find A one-night stAnd

Readers Say: “This is such an incredibly positive place to volunteer; any and everything we do is so appreciated. It really makes you want to go in for your appointed shift and extra ones. I love it.”

Best mixed-use development

City Vista

460 L St. NW, (866) 484-8245, gables.com/communities/district-ofcolumbia/washington/gables-cityvista/ Readers Say: “Well maintained” Runners Up: Mosaic District, The Yards

Best neighBorhood to go out in

H Street Runners Up: Shaw, U Street

Best neighBorhood to live in

Capitol Hill

Readers Say: “Life in a small village.

While walking to school, restaurants, market, the gym, natatorium, or church, you always meet people you know.”

Professionals in the City

2950 Van Ness St. NW, (202) 6865990, prosinthecity.com Readers Say: “I ended up marrying my one-night stand...”

Runners Up: Wonderland Ballroom, Rock & Roll Hotel

Best plACe to tAke An out-of-toWner

Fiat Luxe Tours

(818) 288-7590, fiatluxetours.com Readers Say: “Excellent guide and tours of D.C.! Will accomodate any schedule, group size, or special requests. Highly recommend!”

Runners Up: Enchanted Nails & Spa, National Mall

Best property mAnAgement CompAny

Runners Up: Lucky Dog Animal Rescue, City Dogs Rescue & City Kitties, Rural Dog Rescue

1428 U St. NW, 2nd floor, (202) 5371801, ejfrealestate.com Readers Say: “EJF has professional and pleasant staff! The properties are well kept and located in nice locations. I Love EJF!” Runners Up: Nest DC, Nomadic Real Estate

Best presChool

Best rAdio personAlity

Toddlers on the Hill

Kojo Nnamdi

800 11th St. NE, (202) 397-1562, toddlersonthehill.org

thekojonnamdishow.org

Readers Say: “Children centered, run by warm, caring, kind, yet very professional, Montessori-certified teachers. My two year old kiddo loves this place.”

Runners Up: Inspired Teaching Demonstration PCS, Friendship Reggio Center

EJF Real Estate Services

Readers Say: “WAMU host is outstanding on local and national information.”

Runners Up: Donnie Simpson, Tommy McFly

Best reAl estAte developer

Ditto Residential 2217 14th St. NW, No. 300, (202) 417-3937, dittodc.com

Runners Up: WC Smith, Donatelli Development

Runners Up: Brookland, Petworth

Best shopping Center

Best neW Condos

Eden Center

6751 Wilson Blvd., Falls Church, (703) 204-4600, edencenter.com

Clifton Heights Condo 1323 Clifton St. NW

Readers Say: “The Eden Center offers such a diversity of food, drinks, and merchandise. It’s more than a shopping center. It’s a place where different cultures can come together. And that’s a good thing in this world today.”

Readers Say: “Beautiful place!”

Runners Up: Atlantic Plumbing, Hecht Warehouse at Ivy City

Best neWs AnChor

Jim Vance

Runners Up: Tysons Corner, Pentagon City Mall

twitter.com/jimvance4

Best sports CoACh

Readers Say: “Thoughtful and full of good humor”

Denis Chekuristov

Runners Up: Allison Seymour, Eun Yang

dcway.net

Best nonprofit

Readers Say: “Best soccer coach for kids, great approach and knowledge”

City Dogs Rescue & City Kitties

Runners Up: Dusty Baker, Barry Trotz, Ben Olsen

Best summer CAmp

2121 Decatur Pl. NW #3, (202) 5677364, citydogsrescuedc.org Readers Say: “CDR cares deeply about all of the animals that go through the rescue, going above and beyond to rescue dogs that would otherwise be euthanized, place them with families that are in it for the long haul, and offer support after adoption. Just this week I saw the entire CDR community pull together to find a lost CDR alum who ultimately was returned safe and sound!”

Runners Up: Lucky Dog Animal Rescue, Food & Friends

DC Way

(571) 490-1275, dcway.net Readers Say: “Easily. Best soccer coach too” Runners Up: Valley Mill Camp, Congressional Camp

Best Graduate Program: Georgetown University

Best trAvel Agent

Sari Greene

sarigreenetravels.com Runners Up: Jocelyn Hadrick, Stamp’d Travel, Alan Savada

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 113

StAff PiCkS PEOPLE & PLACES

Best New Trail Connection

Best New Trail Connection: Anacostia Riverwalk Extension Between Benning Road and Bladensburg

Anacostia Riverwalk Extension Between Benning Road and Bladensburg

The meriT of an off-road trail can be assessed using various criteria: its connectivity, its functionality, its physical beauty, and its harmony with its surroundings. By all of these measures, the new spur of the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail, which closes the gap between Benning Road and Bladensburg, Maryland, is magnificent.

The extension provides both recreational and transportation access to communities immediately adjacent, but it’s also another piece in the much larger puzzle of regional connectivity for cyclists and pedestrians. Its proximity to both the Anacostia River and the Kenilworth wetlands exposes users to vast and underappreciated natural resources. And the trail’s occasional transition to an on-street protected bike lane hopefully presages a future of superior facilities for the non-motorized. No longer a missing link, this trail connection is poised to be so much more.

—Brian McEntee

Best Library With a View Woodridge Library

1801 Hamlin St. NE, (202) 5416226, dclibrary.org

AT sTreeT level, the Woodridge Library is already more than 30 feet above the scenic Langdon Park, which occupies two blocks south of the library. Climb to the third floor of the library, which opened last year, to look onto the treetops and down at the Langdon neighborhood’s old single-family homes. The third floor has almost 360 degrees of floor-to-ceiling windows, plus a rooftop terrace, so every seat has a view. If nature isn’t your thing, the view north from the library is quintessential Rhode Island Ave. NE: a cluster of auto parts and repair shops across six lanes of cars and buses.

—Zach Rausnitz

Best TV Show on Which to Exploit Your Business Real Housewives of Potomac

When BrAvo Announced a new spinoff of its Real Housewives franchise set in the ritzy Montgomery County community of

Potomac, audiences feigned interest, but local businesses jumped at the chance to be seen on TVs and computer screens nationwide. From a sparsely attended party at The Park at Fourteenth to a calamitous whiskey tasting in the basement of Barrel, the ladies spent a fair amount of time boozing in the District while complaining about how much they hated it. One housewife even used the show to promote the Australian restaurant

114 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

she opened with her real estate magnate husband. Despite the stars of the show regularly degrading the places they visited, featured restaurants love the free publicity and continue to host viewing parties for fans. They clearly learned their attention-grabbing tactics from the housewives themselves.

—Caroline Jones

Best Place to PeopleWatch Dog People S Street NW Dog Park 17th and S streets NW

All Types of dogs, and dog people, gather at this Dupont Circle park, conveniently located within the tiny triangle formed by New Hampshire Avenue, 17th Street, and S Street NW. Perks for humans include (usually available)

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PEOPLE& PLACES

demonstration, regular Magic: the Gathering tourneys, Pokemon clinics, and Dungeons & Dragons nights for all levels. They expanded in October, absorbing the neighboring store front to add more retail space for the children’s section and to include another game room. Labyrinth isn’t just a game store: It’s a center for gaming communities, a place for the whole family, and not a bad place to stock up on dice when you need to roll an attack against Kthulu.

—Jackson Sinnenberg

Best Use of Emoji Bryce Harper’s “100” bats

Best Movie Theater That Feels Like Someone’s Really Cool Basement: Suns Cinema complimentary poop bags, circular benches, and—every so often—canine-themed events like a Halloween costume contest. Last April, there was some kind of pug-a-palooza featuring pugs in pink tutus. (I have photos.) Mostly, though, it’s a spot for Spot to take a leak—and for Spot’s owner(s) to see and be seen. Don your choice of Patagonia, Lululemon, or other athleisure apparel, grab a coffee, and join the party.

—Andrew Giambrone

Best Movie Theater That Feels Like Someone’s Really Cool Basement Suns Cinema 3107 Mount Pleasant St. NW. sunscinema.com.

suns cinemA, The micro-movie house in Mount Pleasant, is almost too good to be true.

It’s less a traditional theater and more like your cinephile friends all pooled their money together to open up their platonic ideal of a movie theater, which feels like someone’s really cool basement.

It can only fit about 30 people, and the seating is a combination of pews, armchairs, couches, and La-Z-Boys. And it’s got a great little bar to boot.

But the real draw of Suns Cinema is its programming, through which co-owners David Cabrera and Ryan Hunter Mitchell screen an eclectic lineup of arthouse classics, trashy cult favorites, works by local filmmakers, and even Saturday morning cartoons.

—Matt Cohen

Best Late Deadline Excuse “I Was Bitten by a Mongrel in Peru”

your scrAppy AlT-Weekly wouldn’t be what it is without the talented writers and voices who regularly freelance for us and animate our pages. We count on them for witty copy, expert reviews, and well-told stories—not to mention off-the-wall, sometimes absurd, and, occasionally, fantastically sad excuses for why they can’t meet their deadlines. There were too many good ones in 2016 to name, but one rose to the top of the heap: The email read in part, “[I] was bitten by a mongrel in Peru.” By all means, get well.

—Liz Garrigan

Best Place to Slay Kthulu Labyrinth Games

645 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, (202) 5441059, labyrinthgameshop.com

The WAlls Are lined with tomes of adventure and tools of the trade, and the wise elders who run it are ready to show you the way.

The way to what? Adventure! And an exciting addition to your next game night. Labyrinth Games, which opened in 2010, is a staple of the revived Eastern Market neighborhood.

And even if it had more competition, it would still be the best board game store in the city.

Labyrinth offers countless games for sale and

116 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

proToTypicAl millenniAl AThleTe Bryce Harper has always been a friend to the internet, whether he’s trying to avoid becoming a “may-may” or throwing a tantrum that will immediately be turned into a gif. For the 2016 season, he further appealed to sports bloggers and Twitter users by sticking custom “100” emojis on the ends of his bats. Did the decals represent his reputation for always keeping it 100 percent real with reporters or the fact that he entered the year having hit 99 career home runs and would hit his 100th early in the season? Whatever the case, they brought Harper a fair amount of success: 86 runs batted in, 24 home runs, and his fourth consecutive All-Star Game selection, plus the adoration of baseball fans from all corners of the web.

—Caroline Jones

Best Get-Me-Out-ofHere Zoo Animal Ollie the Bobcat

Smithsonian National Zoo, 3001 Connecticut Ave. NW, nationalzoo.si.edu

sTep Aside, BAo Bao. The National Zoo’s buzziest animal these days is positively feline—(and female). In January, Ollie the bobcat captivated us with a Scooby Doo-esque mystery, disappearing from zookeepers’ radars for a gut-wrenching two-and-a-half days.

Everything else seemed to come to a halt. Did a visitor cat-nap Ollie? Was she somewhere in Adams Morgan, where Rusty the Red Panda was found in 2013? Was she (gasp) 25 pounds of roadkill? Turns out Ollie was just going for a stroll in Rock Creek Park, and returned to the zoo after the Smithsonian had suspended its search for her. Kudos for being more Houdini or Secret Life of Pets than Scooby, you clever cat.

—Andrew Giambrone

Best Chronicling Pat Walsh’s Suspiciously Large Pile Of Contextless Breadsticks

neArly TWo monThs ago, local general enthusiast Pat Walsh was on a walk in his neighborhood when he noticed something strange.

There, on the grass beside the sidewalk, someone had dumped a large pile of breadsticks.

Needless to say, this raised a bunch of questions for him: There aren’t any restaurants

Best Deceased Local Blog Borderstan

borderstan.com

rip BordersTAn, A two-man show that gave other D.C. bloggers a run for their money (not to mention their clicks). In our 2016 Best Of issue, City Paper named the neighborhood-driven news site, owned by Arlington-based Local News Now, “best revival,” in part for its dedicated attention to bizarre crime (“Men Attacked With Chipotle Cup of Bleach in Columbia Heights”), residential development, restaurant openings, store closings, and a morning newsletter. It had returned from the void in 2015 after shuttering a few years before, cultivating a loyal audience.

So it was an extra bummer when Borderstan announced—six days before Christmas—that it would no longer publish. The news followed an expanded mandate for the website, run by co-editors Tim Regan and Andrew Ramonas, to cover the H Street NE corridor, NoMa, Bloomingdale, and Truxton Circle, in addition to its core areas of Logan Circle, Dupont Circle, U Street, Columbia Heights, and Adams Morgan. Advertising troubles ultimately doomed the site.

But under Regan and Ramonas, Borderstan had a good run, generating occasional scoops and staying on top of neighborhood controversies (among them, whether a developer ought to build a mixed-use project on Adams Morgan’s SunTrust Plaza). How did the two manage to do it all?

“Basically, our goal was to sharpen our focus and make it so we didn’t have to focus on everything all the time,” explains Regan, a former City Paper contributor who recently moved to Chicago. (Ramonas now works for Bloomberg BNA.) “It also made going to most or all of our [advisory neighborhood commission] meetings”—a staple for Borderstan—“a little more feasible. If breaking news happened, generally the one [of us] closest to it would run (literally, sometimes) to the scene.” Other leads for them: liquor licenses, zoning and building documents, and social media.

Borderstan: gone too soon.

—Andrew Giambrone

Silvana Dias VOTED BEST OF DC #1 REAL ESTATE AGENT 2016 & 2017!

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY LOYAL CLIENTS FOR YOUR VOTES! I COULD NOT HAVE WON THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD WITHOUT YOU ALL! With more than 10 years as a full time residential real estate veteran, Silvana is one of the top agents in the Washington metropolitan area. The top overall agent for the prestigious WC & AN Miller Realtors, a Long & Foster Company, she was also voted #1 Real Estate Agent in the Best of DC Washington City Paper poll in 2016 & 2017. She also won BEST of WASHINGTONIAN Real Estate Agent in 2016. She has sold over $100 million in real estate in the DMV. Top notch negotiation skills, Silvana gets offers accepted and homes sold. She has put together what she calls her “dream team” to make certain her clients’ experience is the best it possibly can be for both buying and selling. Silvana has experience on the investment side of real estate and her knowledge of renovation allows her to look at homes in a different light, explaining and guiding her clients through renovation costs and potential. For Silvana, real estate is about providing her clients a level of service guaranteed to exceed their expectations, while helping them achieve their personal and financial goals.

If you ask anyone who has worked with Silvana in her capacity as a Realtor, one common message is loud and clear—Silvana cares and always has her clients’ best interest at heart, building relationships which last far beyond the settlement table. Her energy, positive spirit and passion for her career and clients allows for an incredible experience in the homebuying/selling process.

WC & AN M I L L E R RE A LT O RS , A L O N G & F O S T E R CO .

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PEOPLE& PLACES Best Yuppie Virtue Signaling: Little Free Libraries

nearby, so where did all these breadsticks come from? Who dumped these breadsticks? Why did they decide to dump them here, instead of, say, a dumpster, or donate them to a food bank?

How did they transport them? For the past two months, Walsh has been chronicling this saga, posting pictures of the large pile of breadsticks almost daily, under the hashtag #SuspiciouslyLargePileOfContextlessBreadsticks. For anyone who’s been following, the chronicling has morphed from a peculiar curiosity to mild obsession about the origin and nature of these breadsticks, which, incredibly, are still there.

The truth is out there.

—Matt Cohen

Best Yuppie Virtue Signaling Little Free Libraries

GoT A dieT program or outdated textbooks sitting around your house but feel bad about throwing them away or being judged by used bookstore appraisers? Then just let them rot in an elevated box on your lawn! The “Little Free Libraries” are naturally thickest on the ground in the D.C. area’s priciest, most socially conscious neighborhoods, with two or three on a single block sometimes in Takoma Park or Capitol Hill. Free books sound great, except the books in them are universally terrible— that’s why their former owners want to ditch them in the first place. Thanks for the copy of Word 2010 for Dummies, though.

—Will Sommer

Best Political Head Fake Leaked School Chancellor Names

poliTicAlly speAkinG, d.c. often feels like a small town. Leaks and rumors are prime currency. But when a major political appointment is at stake, the advantage shifts to those who are preternaturally threatened by leaks and rumors. Case in point: The appointment of D.C. Public Schools Chancellor Antwan Wilson.

For weeks—months even—speculation over who would succeed Kaya Henderson was rampant. As a decision appeared imminent, a list of purported finalists somehow leaked out of DCPS and promptly made the rounds among reporters and education watchers. One problem: Wilson’s name wasn’t on the list. No, Wilson was under wraps until the night before the announcement, when Tom Sherwood reported the mayor’s pick. The head fake was so slick, and the secrecy so thick, that the chancellor review committee had to hear it on the 11 p.m. news.

—Jeffrey Anderson

Best Place to Shout About Stressful Things Back of the Lincoln Memorial 2 Lincoln Memorial Circle NW

When The sun goes down, the Lincoln Memorial becomes a shining temple for older tourists and drunk GW freshman. While the front

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Best Inexplicably Continuing Feature Date Lab

The WashingTon PosT is a Amazon Prime-fueled machine these days, built to take on Donald Trump, with no room for metro-level foolishness. The Post Hunt is gone, much to the sadness of softball teams who like to dress in coordinated outfits; the Peeps diorama contest would have died along with it, if this paper hadn’t picked it up.

Somehow, though, one Post relic persists: the Post Magazine’s 11-year-old Date Lab feature. But why?

It’s certainly not because Date Lab succeeds at successfully matching singles. The Date Lab formula remains much the same since it first launched, with desperate singles filling out a questionnaire, then hearing back two years later that they’ve been chosen for inclusion.

Date Lab has inspired some second dates, and even a marriage or two. But mostly there are dinners marked with personality clashes and insincere promises to meet up as friends.

So practice hasn’t exactly made perfect for Date Lab’s matchmakers, who generally produce a strangely positive review of the date, then a promise to text that doesn’t go much further than that.

At least Date Lab continues to find terrible dates that are fun to read for everyone who isn’t stuck making a half-smile. The feature reached one of its all-time highs recently with a date between project analyst Erica and entrepreneur Anda. After wiggling a ring off his date’s finger and wearing it for the next two hours (!), Anda invited himself on her canoeing trip the next weekend (!!) and made her ride with him on a Capital Bikeshare as he pedaled from Logan Circle to Columbia Heights. Their destination, suggested by Anda over the “boring” 14th Street: an IHOP. On second thought, maybe Date Lab has a reason to exist after all.

—Will Sommer

FABULOUS HAPPENS IN THE DISTRICT OF JOY

R E T A I L B O S S B U R B E R RY C H C A R O L I N A H E R R E R A D I O R G U C C I H E R M È S LO U I S V U I T TO N LO R O P I A N A M O N C L E R PAUL STUART S A LVATO R E FE RRAGAMO

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PEOPLE& PLACES steps may be crowded with selfie sticks and the chamber may be filled with drunken and illegal dares, the back of the memorial provides a much more serene setting for cuddling lovers and dazed stoners. But that peace can always be interrupted. For nearby GW students, this spot is perfect for letting out a week’s worth of pent-up stress and aggression. The exercise is simple: Go to the memorial around 2 a.m., find an empty space between two columns, and yell as loud as you want about that economics exam you bombed, a not-so-good Tinder date, or your stressful roommates. Your problems may not be gone by the time you’re finished, but you will feel somewhat relieved and possibly less stressed. I know this because I’ve spent many nights wailing in the presence of concerned tourists and Honest Abe. —Devan Cole

Best Mall Memorial You Forgot About: District of Columbia War Memorial

Best Bike Thrill Ride The Metropolitan Branch Trail at night

for pure Terror, there’s nothing like a nighttime ride on the Metropolitan Branch Trail, which has become infamous for its regular attacks on cyclists. Muggers delight in the hiding spots and isolation the trail offers, situated as it is between an industrial area and Metro tracks. Cyclists are faced with a choice: Do you take a less direct way or risk an attack? The trail’s danger can also challenge your perceptions of humanity: I once prepped to tangle with some suspiciously slow-walking pedestrians on the trail by gripping my bike lock, only to hear them wish me a goodnight as I passed.

—Will Sommer

Best Mall Memorial You Forgot About District of Columbia War Memorial 1964 Independence Ave. SW, nps.gov

The liTTle-loved disTricT of Columbia War Memorial is consistently overlooked—except when tourists are confusing it for the Jefferson. Unless you or someone you know has recently tied the knot inside the gazebo-like structure, you probably forgot all about it. But this ends up working in its favor. Going to one of the national war monuments hoping for a moment of quiet reflection is a fool’s errand: There are kids splashing in the WWII Memorial pool and hoards of fanny pack wearers along the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall. The D.C. War Memorial, on the other hand, is away from the racket of the rest of the mall, safely set back in a thicket of trees. Here you can circle the base of the monument, read the names of the District residents who sacrificed their lives in the first World War, gaze upon the beautiful stone work of the domed ceiling, and appreciate a landmark that the District can truly call its own. —Stephanie Rudig

Best Political Nickname Fight Club

in The ulTimATe insider town, Mayor Muriel Bowser and members of her Kitchen Cabinet have self-identified in a particularly vivid way by adopting the mantra of Fight Club: The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. Well, consider that rule broken. But still, the nickname stokes curiosity and invites imagination and speculation. Who’s in it? When and where do they meet? What do they talk about? For a protege of Adrian Fenty, who was famously aloof, the fact that Fight Club exists is a sure sign that Bowser is secretive by nature. And since Fenty’s former pos-

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se is fairly well known, having publicly followed him to defeat, and transferred its allegiance to Bowser, there are clues as to who is in Fight Club. But like any secret, there’s always an element of deniability. Especially if you are a diehard Fight Club member.

—Jeffrey Anderson

Best Hip-Hop Criticism

second. “‘Bad and Boujee’ is a song about life on a pale blue dot,” Richards wrote in January about Migos’ rhythmically disruptive single, but that line isn’t cheap hyperbole. It’s an exhortation: Get lost in the expanse of this all-American genre, he’s implying, because it’s wilder than ever.

—Joe Warminsky

Chris Richards

Best Bartender

he’s An Ace of rock ’n’ roll obits and a whiz at awards show takedowns, but the Post music critic is most fervid and convincing when hip-hop is the topic—and particularly when steering readers through some new flavor of fun. Recently he’s nurtured the argument that the most important contemporary rappers are vocalists first and rhymers

find Tyler hudGens at The Dabney shaking and stirring drinks that are not only beautiful but brainy. To fit the Shaw spot’s mission of celebrating the Mid-Atlantic’s past and present, Hudgens creates concoctions featuring prominent local products. “The Commander of the Isle,” for example, con-

Tyler Hudgens

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PEOPLE& PLACES Best Place to Trespass: McMillan Park

tains Virginia Distillery’s single malt whisky, Laird’s Applejack, Millstone Oud Plum cyser, and bitters made from wood from the restaurant’s hearth. She also comes up with cocktail ideas by “shopping” in the kitchen’s walk-in refrigerator and says she thinks of cocktails as “a picture frame that goes around an ingredient or a historical concept” she’s trying to highlight.

—Laura Hayes

Mechanic coveralls, delicate kimonos, feathered coats, chunky turquoise jewelry, fringed disco pants, you name it—she can make them all work, and sometimes at the same time. As long as Desirée is popping up all over town, the fashion scene will be anything but boring.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Local Fashion Icon

McMillan Park

Desirée Venn Frederic

The BAr for D.C. fashion is notoriously low, but that doesn’t stop Desirée Venn Frederic from consistently raising it. Her dearly departed vintage shop Nomad Yard served as a showcase of her creative vision and excellent taste until its closing last fall (don’t fret about that too much, as there are hopes to reopen at a new brick-and-mortar location). Nomad Yard also distributed goods from a variety of local vintage sellers and handcrafters, with Desirée as the hub connecting people and ideas, creating unexpected juxtapositions in the process.

She has an acute knowledge of global fashion history, approaching her research into clothing as if preparing for an anthropological study, using garments as windows into human stories. These ideas manifest in her intriguing personal style, in which she handpicks items that have a distinct past.

Best Place to Trespass The BesT TrespAssinG is not just an adventure, it’s a revelation. When you crawl under the chain link fence at McMillan Sand Filtration Facility, scramble up a short rise and onto the 25-acre site, and look out over the neighborhoods around it, you feel as though you’ve traveled in time. It’s like a forbidden trip to the past, when the city filtered its drinking water here and residents availed themselves of its vast open space. Then, when you descend into one of the sand cells that lie beneath the massive concrete storage bins, well, now you have defied the conventions of modern urban space: You are in some underground beach—a dark, dank one, with majestic vaulted ceilings and light streaming in through manholes. The slightest sound, like water dripping from above, echoes deeply. You feel a sense of wonder and awe. You might become anxious about being caught or becoming trapped, but you won’t care.

—Jeffrey Anderson

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Best Reform Movement Small-Donor Campaign Financing

As CiTy PaPer recently wrote in an editorial, sterilization seems like an apt metaphor for the solution to campaign finance abuses, which have plagued the District for decades, leading to investigations, prison sentences, and the near-constant reality and/or perception of pay-to-play.

Like a bitch who has had too many litters and been allowed to breed unchecked, the District has created untold dependents suckling on the government’s teat. And when there’s not enough to go around, it’s the runt who suffers.

The runt in this case is you, the average D.C. resident. And the dependents are developers, big business, and other monied interests who fund the campaigns for the city’s mayor and councilmembers.

As campaign finance regulations go, the District’s are respectable. But the city’s Office of Campaign Finance, which is supposed to enforce them, has allowed people and companies trying to buy influence with city officials to exceed limits without consequence. And even if the agency were doing its job well, the political culture is still such that elected officials feel obligated to protect the interests of those who fund their campaigns.

For the sake of ordinary District residents whose voices have been drowned out by these monied interests, we need to cut the poor girl open and end this vicious cycle. So it’s heartening that 10 D.C. councilmembers have signaled their willingness to support a bill that would create public financing of local elections. The legislation, introduced last month and being pushed by a coalition of groups known as D.C. Fair Elections, would allow public matching funds (at a five-to-one rate) for candidates who establish viability and who agree to accept low, voluntary contribution limits ($50 for ward candidates, $200 for mayor) and forego special-interest money.

To understand why this legislation is so necessary, consider that more than 60 percent of contributions come from corporations or from people who live outside the city. Just 5 percent of political donations come from District residents giving $100 or less.

In other jurisdictions that have enacted such legislation, like New York City, the numbers show that more residents are donating and getting involved in the election process. Likewise, candidates have every incentive to opt in to public financing—and are no longer beholden to the bizpigs.

—Liz Garrigan

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PEOPLE& PLACES

Best Persistent Case of Awful Typography: The Shops at 2000 Penn Sign

Best Online Trash Talker: Ashley Carter

(but competitive) subcultures. Plus you get to stomp around the tucked-away grounds of the Armed Forces Retirement Home, a rare treat as it’s normally closed to the public.

—Brian McEntee

Best Online Trash Talker Best CVS Facade 12th and Newton NE

3601 12th St. NE, (202) 529-8559.

The siGhT of yet another CVS, especially those very near existing CVS locations, is usually occasion for griping about the chain’s blandness (even if it is extremely convenient).

The CVS in Brookland at least has charm, its facade left over from its previous life as the 1930s-era Newton Theater, the name swapped out for the familiar CVS red. Its architect, John J. Zink, designed many theaters in the District, including Cleveland Park’s Uptown. Washingtonians who grouse about the ubiquity of the Woonsocket, Rhode Island-based retailer may at least find meaning in the fact that the preserved Newton Theater sign resembles a hand extending a middle finger. —Zach Rausnitz

Best Persistent Case of Awful Typography The Shops at 2000 Penn Sign 2000 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW

oWned By GeorGe Washington University, The Shops at 2000 Pennsylvania is a small urban mall burrowed out of the rowhouses that used to exist on the site. In front of the main entrance, a sign beckons you inside with its perky slogan, “Where the neighborhood shops” rendered in black letters. With time, you might notice that some of the letters seem to have fallen off, turning a random group of characters

white rather than black. After a while—possibly years—you could notice that there is, in fact, more than one exterior sign, and all appear to be “damaged” in the same way. Curious! Perhaps something about the adhesiveto-area ratio of some vinyl letters makes them more likely to fail? Eventually, though, the nonconforming white letters will congeal, without drama or fanfare, into a second message all on their own: “shop here.” Unless you are one of the few remaining defenders of Wilson Bryan Key’s argument that subliminal advertising is both persistent and effective, you will reach a more Spi¨nal Tapian conclusion about the hidden message: While there’s often a fine line between clever and stupid, other times you can just tell.

—Jandos Rothstein

Best Local Bike Race DCCX

To The uniniTiATed, a bike race might evoke Alpine passes, pelotons, Lycra (always Lycra), and only the briefest flashes of interest or action. DCCX, a weekend of cyclocross races hosted by DCMTB and Crosshairs Cycling, is the polar opposite. As riders, from first-timers to pros (the elite men’s and women’s races have even drawn national champions), tackle grass, mud, barriers, steps, steep hills, and sharp turns, a dedicated community of fans and fellow racers swills beer and alternates earnest cowbell ringing with clever heckles. It’s unstuffy and exhilarating and a great entree into one of cycling’s most fun

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Ashley Carter

iT’s no secreT that the at-large race for the D.C. State Board of Education got a little nasty.

Incumbent Mary Lord, buoyed by major Democratic endorsements, was pitted against a political neophyte, Republican Trump supporter Ashley Carter, and no one was expecting it to be close. But Carter had a winning strategy: Flood Wards 7 and 8 with appearances, flyers, and ads that tended to obscure her party affiliation. She even employed a photo of herself with a school child as if engaged in some educational exercise—without school or parental consent. But by far the tackiest moment was when Carter’s campaign criticized Lord, her senior by quite a few years, for her age and appearance. Using a D.C. Urban Moms and Dad account once used by Carter, a comment on the website read, “Mary Lord is old and crazy. Maybe she can wear some more scarves to hide her turkey neck and dress like a homeless lady.” Ouch. A far cry from “Your mother wears Army boots,” but below the belt nonetheless.

—Jeffrey Anderson

Best Hospitality Pro Kevin de Young

diners AT kApnos and G by Mike Isabella have been in the capable, caring hands of general manager Kevin de Young for years. Isabella first spotted his talent in 2007 when they were both at Zaytinya—Isabella in the kitchen, de Young on the floor as a server—making it a decade that they’ve worked together. To kick ass

as a GM, de Young says he self-motivates, relies on his “ride-or-dies,” and is always thinking steps ahead about the potential good and bad consequences of every action. He’s taking his talents over to Isabella’s most upscale restaurant yet, Arroz, inside the Marriott Marquis hotel. Look for de Young working the room to make every meal a little bit better.

—Laura Hayes

Best Swamp Kenilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens 1550 Anacostia Ave. NE, nps.gov/keaq/

The noTion ThAT D.C. rests on a swamp is mostly overblown, though the city’s shores have historically been cursed with unusually brackish waters and poor sewage management. If you really want to revel in our shared status as swamp things, head to the Kenilworth Park & Aquatic Gardens (technically a tidal marsh and not a swamp proper, but that wouldn’t be as politically on theme). There you’ll find gigantic lily pads, frogs, waterlogged flowers, turtles, and, if the official park website is to be believed, snakes swallowing fish whole.

Connected to the pedestrian and bike paths of the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail, it offers several additional trails and a labyrinthine system of boardwalks with multiple lookout points.

Though it’s tempting to go during peak lily bloom in the summer, the quietude of fall and winter offers a moodier adventure, with plenty of plants still alive but dormant. Please don’t drain the swamp—there’s lots of good stuff in there!

—Stephanie Rudig

Best Uniform as Political Statement D.C. United “Taxation without Representation” jerseys

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PEOPLE& PLACES

Best Survivor Ernie Grunfeld

only four currenT NBA general managers match or exceed the 14 years Ernie Grunfeld has spent making player personnel decisions for his Washington Wizards. Grunfeld is in good company. R.C. Buford has been part of five Spurs championships, including four as GM, and the franchise is primed to go on another trophy binge in the coming years. Pat Riley has won three championships with the Miami Heat. Donnie Nelson of the Mavericks and Danny Ainge of the Celtics have each reached two NBA Finals, winning once apiece, and their teams have remained relevant in recent years even without winning any superstar sweepstakes.

By comparison, Grunfeld’s tenure with the Wizards includes: zero playoff series victories beyond the first round, teams so bad that Andray Blatche and Jordan Crawford qualified as marquee players, and a contract extension for Coach Randy Wittman when the team was not intentionally trying to lose.

This season looked like it could finally herald the merciful end. The team started 2-8, and even when it rose in the standings, it was despite one of the least capable benches in basketball. Maybe if it didn’t advance in the 2017 playoffs, owner Ted Leonsis could see cause to show Grunfeld the door.

Instead, mid-season Grunfeld acquired sharpshooting wing Bojan Bogdanovich, an ideal teammate for John Wall, for a small price. He signed Brandon Jennings, a proven point guard trying to recover from a career lull, to back up Wall. The team’s only significant acquisition last summer, Ian Mahinmi, is finally healthy. At the time of this writing, the Wizards have a shot at the No. 1 seed in the East. Grunfeld’s future is secure.

Since Marion Barry died, D.C. has had a vacancy in the role of mayor-for-life, resilient despite falls from grace. Instead, we have an even unlikelier folk hero: Ernie Grunfeld, GM-for-life.

—Zach Rausnitz

has secured itself a fancy, taxpayer-funded stadium and naming rights from Audi. This year’s ploy, attached to a newly designed jersey, is a patch that resembles the District’s “Taxation without Representation” license plates. That the team is speaking out about this political injustice should speak volumes, but there is one problem: The so-called “jock tag” that resembles the license plate is at the bottom of the jersey and will likely be tucked into shorts during games. Maybe it’s the thought that counts, but hiding a political statement under your waistband seems somewhat pointless. Next year, they could consider replacing the name of the defense contractor on the center of the shirt with their message of representation.

—Caroline Jones

Best D.C. Sports Meme Trea Turner Is Jayson Werth’s School-Aged Son

JAyson WerTh is a 37-year-old veteran baseball player with an unruly beard and cavemanlike shoulder-length hair. Trea Turner is a babyfaced 23-year-old who must be sick of strangers asking him if he needs help finding his chaperone. As teammates on the Washington Nationals, Werth and Turner sometimes appear in the same shot during TV broadcasts, usually chatting in the dugout. Nats fans on Twitter have taken to captioning the pair’s interactions. In one, a still that captured Turner looking down the dugout at Werth with a rascally smile gets the caption, “when dad arrives with pizzas.”

The account behind this entry and many others in the genre, @recordsANDradio, humbly

claims not to know who deserves credit for originating the meme.

—Zach Rausnitz

Best Low-Cost Multimodal Adventure MARC to Baltimore

you love To ride your bike around D.C., but sometimes you want to mix things up. So when your choices are to ride to the middle of nowhere in Fairfax County or trek up to Charm City, you go with the latter every damn time.

You could ride there, but it’s kind of a pain, so instead you pay $8 to take your bike on the MARC, and in an hour it’s crab cakes and Natty Boh and being menaced by Maryland drivers in an entirely different urban milieu. Trains that accommodate bikes are marked on the schedule, and you just roll your bike right onto the car, place it on one of the many available floor racks, and take a seat right beside it. Couldn’t be easier. As far as daytrips go, it’s hard to beat.

And the MARC is cheap and frequent enough to make this a must for any D.C. cyclist in search of novelty.

—Brian McEntee

Best Chef Eric Ziebold

eric ZieBold hAd a big 2016. You could even call it a banner year for the chef D.C. first got to know through his work at CityZen inside Mandarin Oriental. He opened double decker restaurants, Métier and Kinship, with the latter gaining a Michelin star in the District’s inaugural guide book. The more casual

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Best Place to Take Your Dog: U.S. National Arboretum

Best Chef: Eric Ziebold

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PEOPLE& PLACES Best Resiliency: Comet Ping Pong

Kinship dazzles with signature dishes like lobster French toast and a whole roasted chicken that could tell Martha Stewart herself to suck it. Inspired by his time at The French Laundry, Ziebold puts a premium on sourcing and even has a chef ’s garden in Loudoun County where he grows produce and flowers for sprucing up both spaces.

—Laura Hayes

Best Of The of in “District of Columbia”

of All The ofs of the District of Columbia, none is better than the of in “District of Columbia.” A tip of the hat is overdue for the uncontested best of of D.C. —Zach Rausnitz

Best Place to Take Your Dog U.S. National Arboretum

ing to an awful lot of people standing around the edges like phone-obsessed wallflowers. The National Arboretum, on the other hand, makes for a excellent scenic vista to walk with your pup. Rather than circling the same mindless dog run, the grounds of the Arboretum offer a choose-your-own-adventure approach. There are fields to frolic in and leisurely paths to stroll as well more strenuous, hilly trails, both with plenty of good stuff for puppers to sniff and pee on. Is the pooch parched? Stop for a drink at the reflecting pool by the National Capitol Columns or any of the streams and ponds around the park.

If your dog is easily excitable or doesn’t get along great with other dogs, it’s easy to find a secluded spot away from stressful situations.

Of course, pets must remain on leashes and out of garden beds, even as they’re getting back in touch with their wild side.

—Stephanie Rudig

3501 New York Ave. NE, usna.usda.gov/

doG pArks Are OK, but there’s not much for the humans to do or look at there, lead128 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Waste of Talent WJLA/News Channel 8 Purges

locAl Tv neWs is all about longevity. Viewers muddling through their morning routines or drifting off to sleep don’t want to get to know a new anchor—they want to see what they’re used to, and maybe a story about red-light camera tickets. That love of the familiar is why, after more than 25 years together, NBC4’s Jim Vance and Doreen Gentzler are still the king and queen of evening news in Washington.

So why are WJLA and sister station News Channel 8 canning some of their best-known names?

The 2013 purchase of the two channels by the right-leaning Sinclair Broadcasting—notable in the presidential election for reportedly striking a deal with the Trump campaign to trade unusually good access for positive coverage—always spelled a change in programming. But changing some of channel’s top personalities themselves risks disaster.

In October, WJLA booted anchor Leon Harris, who had been at the station for 13 years. Local TV lineup changes are always filled with murky, mundane intrigue, but Harris did tell the Washington Post that the exit “was not my choice.”

Sinclair went further in January, canning nearly 20-year anchor Maureen Bunyan, a Washington TV mainstay who had been on the air somewhere in the District for 40 years. Then they fired Bruce DePuyt, the know-everything host of NewsChannel 8’s NewsTalk with Bruce DePuyt and a 24-year channel employee.

Harris, Bunyan, and DePuyt will likely be fine. Besides, local TV gabbing tends to be a wellcompensated gig, especially if you’ve been doing it for decades. Still, the switch hasn’t done much for the ratings, which still lag behind perpetual frontrunner NBC4.

—Will Sommer

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PEOPLE& PLACES Best Attempts to Sell a Product No One Wants Monumental Sports Network

When MonuMental SportS announced plans for Monumental Sports Network, a live streaming service connected to the Capitals and Wizards, fans who didn’t read the fine print assumed they could pay $90 for unlimited access to live NBA and NHL games.

That’s not the case—broadcast rights for the four big professional sports belong to the leagues and cable companies, not Ted Leonsis! You can, however, stream minor league hockey, women’s basketball, and a selection of high school and United Social Sports games. (Yes, you can watch adults play kickball, but why?) To lure more viewers, Monumental Sports has resorted to bribery, inviting subscribers to mind-boggling events like a holiday mixology class with Wizards forward Otto Porter or an indoor cycling class with members of the Washington Mystics.

These desperate gestures are nice, but remember, the only things that will get true D.C. bandwagoners on board are long playoff runs.

—Caroline Jones

Best Resiliency Comet Ping Pong

It took juSt a month for the internet to cook the baseless idea that Chevy Chase’s Comet Ping Pong doubles as the front for a Democratic pedophile ring into the nuclear material that would send a North Carolina man charging in with a gun. The idea that Comet—a genuinely sweet business with good dipping sauces for crusts and enough space for kids to leave their parents alone for a second—would be turned into the site of a potential massacre is a fitting capper for the start of our new era, all death threats and cynical misinformation. Fortunately, Comet and its neighboring businesses have survived the internet’s attacks, thanks in part to support from the rest of the District.

One downside: Sometimes, they can’t make enough pizza to serve all their customers.

—Will Sommer

Best Line Corpse Flower

U.S. Botanic Garden, 100 Maryland Ave. SE, usbg.gov

Best Freshman D.C. Councilmember: Vince Gray

WaItIng In lIne has become something of a status symbol in D.C., granting entry to popular outdoor wear shops, restaurants that don’t take reservations, and in-demand art exhibits. But the best of these was the hoard of folks snaking multiple blocks around the U.S. Botanic Gardens last summer, hoping for a glimpse of the corpse flower in bloom. As far as plants go, corpse flowers are more exciting than your average desk succulent: They grow three or four feet tall, take years to store up the necessary energy to flower, and bloom for only a day or two (during which they emit their signature corpse-like scent) before they collapse. At the end of the day, though, it’s still a plant, and as such it was heartening to see so many people eagerly queuing to take a look at the natural world. It would have been easy for the crowd to get cranky or for the U.S. Botanic Gardens to exploit the masses with cross-promotional coffee pop-ups and vendors hawking T-shirts. Instead, most of the crowd seemed content to patiently wait to catch a whiff of that sweet mistress, Death.

—Stephanie Rudig

Best AlternateUniverse Nick Young Kelly Oubre Jr.

the unoffIcIal Slogan of the Washington Wizards is “no not again, for the love of God why,” and fans who broke it out on draft night in 2015 had some basis for their angst. The Wizards took Kelly Oubre Jr., a 6-foot-7 small forward, with the 15th pick in the draft. Eight

130 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

years before, the Wizards had the 16th pick, and they used it on 6-foot-7 Nick Young. Oubre’s draft night attire—a red suit with a pair of white shoes covered in sparkly spikes—was unsettlingly swaggy. It was reminiscent of the stylish Young, whose self-branding as “Swaggy P” summed up the goofball persona he’s brought to the game throughout his career. This episode of sports PTSD proved irrational. Oubre, now in his second season and just 21 years old, contributes on a top team, knocking down threepointers, slashing to the rim, and sometimes guarding opposing stars. Young, now 31, plays

for a Lakers team that has been one of the NBA’s worst teams each year since he arrived. He is perhaps best known for embarrassing himself in 2014 by prematurely celebrating a threepoint shot that rimmed out. —Zach Rausnitz

Best Freshman D.C. Councilmember Vince Gray

lIke a doctoral student finding himself back in high school, former Mayor Vince Gray

PEOPLE& PLACES is such a fascinating study in part because of the incongruity between his extensive political experience and his freshman status on the D.C. Council. He has served there representing Ward 7 before, of course, and even chaired the body before serving as mayor from 2011 to 2015. An early misstep this council session demonstrated, perhaps, that it’s difficult to play the legislator once you’ve been an executive. A few months ago, he bypassed Charles Allen, chairman of the body’s Committee on the Judiciary and Public Safety, in filing a crime bill, which was ultimately soundly defeated. Rookie mistake. But this is a politician who draws admirers when he simply walks down the street. “There’s Mayor Gray!” one woman recently shouted as he padded down 15th Street NW. Despite exiting the mayor’s office amid a cloud of controversy—a years-long federal probe nabbed a handful of his associates for illegal campaign financing, though he was never charged— Gray has retained a certain popularity, especially with voters of Ward 7. It positions him well to act as a constant counterpoint to Mayor Muriel Bowser, against whom he has signalled he might run again. In any case, the D.C. Council is a lot more interesting with him around.

—Liz Garrigan

Best Place to Watch Men Shower Seductively Secrets/Ziegfeld’s

1824 Half St. SW, (202) 8630670, secretsdc.com

There’s a man in front of me completing a perfect headstand wearing nothing but a pair of socks and what I’ve since learned is a cock ring. But this isn’t a yoga retreat, it’s Secrets on a Saturday night. The strip club—which proves there’s more to D.C.’s naked scene than a stretch of M Street NW—is located above legendary drag club Ziegfeld’s. Climb the stairs to find buff men wriggling about in various corners hoping customers will stuff tips into their socks. The best voyeuristic amusement, though, is the club’s shower room showcasing men showering slowly and seductively. It’s like the opening of every Bachelor season, except nude and IRL. —Laura Hayes

Best “Born This Way” Politician Markus Batchelor

In January, 23-year-old Markus Batchelor became the youngest person elected to the D.C. State Board of Education, representing Ward 8. Though Batchelor can’t pinpoint the exact moment he set out for public service, he says his mom can. She loves to tell the story of asking her son what he wanted to be when

he grew up. “I told her I wanted to help people,” Batchelor recalls. He was elected D.C.’s Youth Mayor at 16, and former Mayor Marion Barry appointed him to D.C.’s Redistricting Task Force at 18. He became the youngest president of the Ward 8 Democrats at 20, and he won his ANC election at 21. He counts Barry as one of his most important role models.

“Despite his mixed legacy in the city, he was able to instill in me the genuine love of the people in your community,” says Batchelor.

Nationally, he looks up to former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick because “he was able to transcend labels and transcend party affiliation, in some cases, to get things done,” as well was current Tallahassee Mayor Andrew Gillum, who is 37 today but was elected city commissioner at 23.

—Alexa Mills

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Best Historical Landmark Tourists Don’t Know About Lincoln’s Cottage

140 Rock Creek Church Road, (202) 829-0436, lincolncottage.org

We’ve all been there: We host visitors who want to see D.C., and they think it’s all museums and monuments. If you want to show them a place with historical significance that doesn’t involve the Smithsonian, take them to President Lincoln’s Cottage. Open to the public since 2008, it can stump even a visiting history buff. Lincoln and his family would retreat to the Gothic Revival residence to escape the suffocating atmosphere of the White House during the Civil War—especially in summertime. Guests will be impressed by the innovative tour and accounts of Lincoln visiting with wounded soldiers and self-emancipated men who buried war casualties in the nearby U.S. Soldiers’ and Airmen’s Home National Cemetery. They will be moved by a re-telling of the parable “The Wolf and the Sheep.”

And they will be humbled by the vision of Lincoln—battlefields on the horizon, construction of the U.S. Capitol below—as he composed the Emancipation Proclamation.

—Jeffrey Anderson

Best Not-AnEmbassy Embassy Twin Oaks Estate

3225 Woodley Road NW, (202) 363-6855, facebook.com/pages/ Twin-Oaks/147921828656176

nesTled up In Cleveland Park is a sprawling 18-acre estate known as Twin Oaks, crowned with a 26-room Georgian Revival mansion.

Built in 1888 as a summer house for the first president of the National Geographic Society, the mansion became the official ambassadorial residence for the Republic of China in the 1930s. The Republic of China (now better known by the name of the island it occupies—

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Dumbarton House, Georgetown re-opens to the public on

Tuesday, May 23 ! rd

Come visit our newly-interpreted museum which explores daily life in our 1799 historic house during the early days of the new republic.

Check our website for tour times, exciting programs & new exhibits.

Dumbarton House, 2715 Q Street NW, Washington, DC 20007 202.337.2288 | www.dumbartonhouse.org

PEOPLE& PLACES Taiwan) bought the estate two years before losing control of mainland China in the Chinese Civil War and entering a prolonged fight for international diplomatic support. From its perch in Taiwan, the government managed to hold on to Twin Oaks by briefly transferring the property to a nonprofit just as it lost official diplomatic recognition from the United States in 1979.

Today, Taiwan acts in D.C. through the Taipei Economic and Cultural Representative Office (TECRO), which maintains offices in a nondescript building on Wisconsin Avenue.

As part of an agreement with Beijing, none of Taiwan’s representatives are allowed to live at Twin Oaks. Instead, they use the lavish estate to host social and cultural events, including this year’s celebration marking “80 years of elegance” at Twin Oaks, complete with a commemorative stamp set. —Emily Walz

Best Place to Aimlessly Wander Around Before it All Changes Buzzard Point

Cities and stasis don’t mix. Neighborhoods change. Deal with it. But it’s hard to be totally ambivalent about this, so when you see an area on the cusp of what will be momentous change, it’s your civic obligation to go and appreciate it before it’s all gone. Buzzard Point is about to see a string of development that will completely reshape the area. The D.C. United Stadium is

coming and, with it, apartments, retail, dreaded millennials, overpriced cocktails, and way too many fast-casual options. Buzzard Point as it is right now will be utterly unrecognizable in a few short years. So go walk around and take it all in and talk to the folks who have more perspective on this change than you do. Admire the New Deal-era power plant, the (now-closed) marina, the extant industrial sites, and the quiet, underappreciated neighborhood before it’s no longer.

—Brian McEntee

Best Local Government Conciliator Kathy Patterson

OnCe a Ward 3 member on the D.C. Council, Patterson has been D.C.’s auditor since 2014, when the D.C. Council unanimously confirmed her. She works at the pleasure of the legislative body and has the autonomy to conduct performance audits of city government agencies, calling out waste, abuse, fraud, and any manner of other chicanery. A former senior Washington correspondent for The Kansas City Star, she remains driven to find out what’s going on and report it—at least in the fiscal sense. Her role does have an inherent weakness in that elected officials and mayoral administrations can choose to ignore her findings. Still, she may be the most honest public official in D.C. If only all of the representatives we elect were more like her.

—Liz Garrigan

Best Local Government Conciliator: Kathy Patterson 132 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Adopt a friend today!

FACTS ABOUT KATNISS BREED: PLOTT HOUND MIX COLOR: BRINDLE AGE: ADULT 1-2 YEARS SIZE: MED. 30 LBS SEX: FEMALE

Katniss's Story... Katniss is incredibly smart and learns new tricks very quickly! She loves her humans, and prefers to hang out near them. She loves running around the yard and playing with toys or a stuffed bone. She is crate trained and house-trained. For a hound, she's very quiet and doesn't bark or howl.

Katniss would be happiest as the only dog in her home because she gets over-excited when she sees new dogs. She needs an experienced adopter who has owned dogs before.

Katniss has done very well in training. With love and commitment, Katniss will thrive. Rural Dog Rescue wants to set up dogs for success so if you think you might be what Katniss needs, don't hesitate to reach out. We do offer foster-to-adopt when appropriate. We'd love to arrange a meeting with you and Katniss if it's a good fit!

MEET KATNISS!

I am already spayed, housetrained, in need of an experienced adopter, up to date with shots, not good with kids, not good with dogs, and not good with cats.

I am an UNDERDOG because ... I am a hound mix! Hound breeds are very prominent in the rural south and usually the first to be euthanized at the shelter due to the overpopulation of this breed.

LOCATION SAVED FROM: BEAUFORT COUNTY, NC Please contact Rural Dog Rescue www.ruraldogrescue.com to complete an application or visit Katniss at the adoption event this Saturday from 12 - 3 at Howl To The Chief 733 8th Street SE DC.

NOW OFFERING FREE DELIVERY • Natural Dog & Cat Food • Raw Dog & Cat Diets • Pet Supplies • Grooming • Self Serve Dog Wash • Dog Cookies & Cakes • Small Animal & Fish Supplies

Full Service Grooming 7 Days a Week DOG ADOPTIONS (www.ruraldogrescue.com) Every Saturday from 12-3 CAT ADOPTIONS Capital City Cats Every Sunday 12-3 Howl to the Chief • 733 8th Street SE 202-544-8710 www.HowlToTheChief.com

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 133

Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

JUST ANNOUNCED! THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FILM COMPOSER OF OUR ERA

HANS ZIMMER LIVE

with Orchestra and Chorus performing music from Pirates of the Caribbean, Gladiator, The Dark Knight and more! ............................FRI JULY 21 SUMMER SPIRIT FESTIVAL FEATURING

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds • Bell Biv Devoe • Fantasia and more!..........AUGUST 5 & 6

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Pigeons Playing Ping Pong w/ ELM - Electric Love Machine ....................F 7 The Fighter and the Kid Live This is a seated show. Early Show! 6pm Doors ... Sa 8 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS

Mr. Carmack w/ Rexx Life Raj • Mike Gao • Kidd Marvel

Late Show! 10pm Doors .......................................................................................... Sa 8 Son Volt w/ Anders Parker ............................................................................ Tu 11 DC BRAU, COUNTRY MALT & WILD GOOSE PRESENT

Baroness w/ Trans Am ..................................................................................W 12

The Motet w/ Reed Mathis

& Electric Beethoven .....................F 14 Biffy Clyro w/ O’Brother .........Sa 15

Oddisee & Good Compny w/ Olivier St. Louis .....................Th 20 Drive-By Truckers w/ Hiss Golden

Messenger .......................F 21 & Sa 22 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Hurray For The Riff Raff w/ Ron Gallo ..............................Su 23 The Pretty Reckless w/ Them Evils ..............................W 26 Balkan Beat Box ...................Th 27 The Black Angels w/ A Place to Bury Strangers .....Su 30 MAY

Rostam w/ Deradoorian .............Tu 2 The Maine w/ The Mowgli’s & Beach Weather .W 3

Ratt feat. Pearcy, De Martini, Croucier • Kix • Loverboy and more! .APRIL 28 & 29

M3 SOUTHERN ROCK CLASSIC FEATURING

Lynyrd Skynyrd • Charlie Daniels Band and more! ................... APRIL 30

MAY (cont)

Hot In Herre: 2000s Dance Party

Kings of Leon • Weezer • Jimmy Eat World • Fitz and the Tantrums and more! ... MAY 14

DC101 KERFUFFLE FEATURING

with DJs Will Eastman and Brian Billion .......................Sa 6

Dierks Bentley w/ Cole Swindell & Jon Pardi ................................................. MAY 19 Bon Iver ................................................................................................................ MAY 24

Twin Peaks w/ Chrome Pony & Post Animal ...Tu 9 San Fermin w/ Low Roar .........W 10

I.M.P. & GOLDENVOICE PRESENT AN EVENING WITH

Sigur Rós ........................................................................................................... MAY 25

The Chainsmokers w/ Kiiara, Lost Frequencies, featuring Emily Warren .. MAY 26

AEG LIVE PRESENTS

CAPITAL JAZZ FEST FEATURING

DESIIGNER w/ Rob $tone •

Corinne Bailey Rae • George Benson and more! ................................................. JUNE 2-4

Ski Mask the Slump God • 16yrold .......................................Th 11 Giorgio Moroder w/ Enamour ..F 12 Los Amigos Invisibles .........Sa 13

Paul Simon w/ Sarah McLachlan ....................................................... JUNE 9 Jack Johnson w/ Lake Street Dive..................................................................JUNE 11 The Head and the Heart w/ Deer Tick ................................................JUNE 15 John Legend w/ Gallant ..................................................................................JUNE 20 Steve Miller Band w/ Peter Frampton ........................................JUNE 23 Luke Bryan w/ Brett Eldredge & Lauren Alaina ..........................................JUNE 25 Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit w/ The Mountain Goats ................JUNE 30 Dispatch w/ Guster & Marco Benevento ...................................................... JULY 7 My Morning Jacket w/ Gary Clark Jr. .................................................... JULY 14

Perfume Genius w/ serpentwithfeet ...................... M 15 Dreamcar w/ Superet ..............Th 18 Whitney w/ Natalie Prass Early Show! 6pm Doors ...................Sa 20 Cloud Nothings Late Show! 10pm Doors ..................Sa 20 Laura Marling w/ Valley Queen ..........................Su 21

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

9:30 CUPCAKES

deadmau5 w/ Feed Me ................................................................................... APRIL 8

M3 ROCK FESTIVAL FEATURING

The xx w/ Sampha ................................................................................................... MAY 6 Ryan Adams w/ Jenny Lewis ........................................................................ MAY 12

APRIL JAMBASE AND ALL GOOD PRESENT

On Sale Friday, April 7 at 10am THIS SATURDAY!

VANS WARPED TOUR PRESENTED BY JOURNEYS FEATURING

Anti-Flag • The Ataris • Gwar • Hatebreed • Valient Thorr and many more! ........... JULY 16

alt-J w/ Saint Motel ................................................................................................ JULY 27 Fleet Foxes w/ Animal Collective .................................................... JULY 29 Belle and Sebastian / Spoon / Andrew Bird w/ Ex Hex ........ JULY 30 Lady Antebellum w/ Kelsea Ballerini & Brett Young ........................ AUGUST 13 Santana .......................................................................................................... AUGUST 15 Sturgill Simpson w/ Fantastic Negrito ............................................ SEPTEMBER 15 Young The Giant w/ Cold War Kids & Joywave ............................ SEPTEMBER 16

930.com

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Echostage • Washington, D.C.

• For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com

TYCHO w/ Nitemoves ......................................................................................................MAY 7 Empire of the Sun w/ Lee “Scratch” Perry ............................................................MAY 11

1215 U Street NW Washington, D.C.

2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster • impconcerts.com

JUST ANNOUNCED!

FEIST ...................................................................................................................... JUNE 7

Pimlico Race Course • Baltimore, MD PREAKNESS BUDWEISER INFIELDFEST FEATURING

SAM HUNT • Good Charlotte • LOCASH • High Valley .................................................... MAY 20 preakness.com/infield

SECOND NIGHT ADDED! AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Tim

And Eric: 10th Anniversary Awesome Tour ..................................... JULY 19 Both Shows On Sale Friday, April 7 at 10am

THIS SATURDAY!

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL Crystal Garden

Mod Sun

(Boyd Tinsley of Dave Matthews Band) . F APR 7 w/ Marty Grimes & SwagHollywood ....... Sa 15

Kate Tempest .................................... W 12 Sondre Lerche .................................. M 17 Chaz Bundick Meets The Mattson 2 w/ Madeline Kenney ................................ F 14 Fenech-Soler & Knox Hamilton ... W 26

Lisa Lampanelli ................................................................................................... APRIL 8 Rhiannon Giddens w/ Amythyst Kiah..................................................................... MAY 9 Dwight Yoakam w/ Elliot Root .............................................................................. MAY 11 Demetri Martin ..................................................................................................... MAY 13 t Added!

ight Sold Out! Second Nigh First N AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Old Crow Medicine Show performing Blonde on Blonde .................................... MAY 23 TajMo: The Taj Mahal and Keb’ Mo’ Band w/ Jontavious Willis ..................... AUGUST 9

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office • 930.com

• thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

impconcerts.com Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

134 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

930.com

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Music 135 Books 141 Galleries 141 Dance 142 Theater 142 Film 143

Music Friday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Pigeons Playing Ping-Pong. 8 p.m. $17. 930.com. bethesda blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Gino Vannelli. 8 p.m. $65–$135. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blaCk Cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Crystal Fighters, Machineheart. 8 p.m. $20. blackcatdc.com. dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Peyote Pilgrim, Burt the Dirt. 7 p.m. $10. dcnine.com.

Rhizome dC 6950 Maple St. NW. Minibeast, Super!

Silver! Haze!, Insect Factory, mems. 8 p.m. $10. rhizomedc.org.

RoCk & Roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Boss Hog. 8 p.m. $15–$18. rockandrollhoteldc.com. u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Crystal Garden. 7 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

WaRneR theatRe 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000.

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. 8 p.m. $48 - $145. warnertheatredc.com.

classical

GeoRGetoWn univeRsity mCneiR auditoRium 37th and O streets NW. (202) 687-0100. Sandbox Percussion. 1:15 p.m. Free. georgetown.edu. kennedy CenteR ConCeRt hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO: Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto / Shostakovich’s Fifth Symphony. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

country

FillmoRe silveR spRinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Billy Currington. 8:30 p.m. $35. fillmoresilverspring.com. musiC CenteR at stRathmoRe 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Home Free. 8 p.m. $31–$75. strathmore.org.

dJ nights

Flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Francesco Del Garda. 8 p.m. $8. flashdc.com.

Folk

baRns at WolF tRap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Over The Rhine. 8 p.m. $25–$30. wolftrap.org.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Will Pellerin. 8 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

hip-hop

sonGbyRd musiC house and ReCoRd CaFe 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Taylor Bennett. 8 p.m. $13–$15. songbyrddc.com.

Jazz

2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club

CITY LIGHTS: Friday

CHICAGO

Chicago, the longest running American musical in history, reappears on the D.C. theater scene this week, bringing its characteristic dose of razzle dazzle and all that jazz to the Kennedy Center Opera House. For the occasion, producers have recruited an extra glamorous leading lady: Grammy winner Brandy Norwood will take the stage as Roxie Hart, the chorus girl-turnedmurderess who lives for the limelight—and goes to extreme lengths to get it. As an eponymous teen R&B star, Brandy released hits like “I Wanna Be Down” and “The Boy Is Mine,” starred in the sitcom Moesha, and also made history as Disney’s first black princess in the TV adaptation of the musical Cinderella. She made her Broadway debut playing Roxie in 2015 and joins the tour for its D.C. performances only. Playing opposite Brandy is Chicago veteran Terra C. MacLeod as Velma Kelly. For a taste of the boozy and bluesy production that entertains tourists and high-brow theatergoers alike, take your buckled shoes down to Foggy Bottom. The musical runs April 4 to April 16 at the Kennedy Center Opera House, 2700 F St. NW. $49–$159. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Natalie Gross

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. SF Jazz Collective. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $55–$60. bluesalley.com.

saturday

u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Maggie Rogers, JIL. 7 p.m. Sold out. ustreetmusichall.com.

mR. henRy’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Dial 251 for Jazz. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

rock

sotto 1610 14th St. NW. (202) 545-3459. A.J. 9 p.m.

Free. sottodc.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

WaRneR theatRe 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000.

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. 8 p.m. $48–$145. warnertheatredc.com.

Tramps Like Us. 9 p.m. $20–$23. gypsysallys.com.

Blues

tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. The Radiohead Jazz Project. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $27. twinsjazz.com.

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Willie Nile. 8 p.m. $20–$25. thehamiltondc.com.

musiC CenteR at stRathmoRe 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Ladies Sing the Blues. 8 p.m. $35–$75. strathmore.org.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 135

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar.

classical

dumbaRton ChuRCh 3133 Dumbarton St. NW. (202) 965-2000. Imani Winds Quintet. 8 p.m. $30–$35. dumbartonconcerts.org. kennedy CenteR ConCeRt hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Anne-Sophie Mutter. 3 p.m. $30–$90. National Symphony Orchestra perofrms Prokofiev’s Piano Concerto, Shostakovich’s Fifth Symphony. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

electronic

washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Mr. Carmack, Rexx Life Raj, Mike Gao, Kidd Marvel. 10 p.m. $20. 930.com.

Folk

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Joshua Tell. 8 p.m. Free. gypsysallys.com.

Funk & r&B washingtoncitypaper.com

hoWaRd theatRe 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Meli’sa Morgan. 8 p.m. $35–$55. thehowardtheatre.com.

hip-hop

FOLLOW

sotto 1610 14th St. NW. (202) 545-3459. Nicole Saphos & Michael Price. 5:30 p.m. Free. sottodc.com. tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. The Radiohead Jazz Project. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $27. twinsjazz.com.

World

sixth & i histoRiC synaGoGue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Anoushka Shankar. 7 p.m.; 9:30 p.m. $40. sixthandi.org.

sunday rock

blaCk Cat baCkstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. The Marked Men, Coke Bust, Haram, Flasher, Dirty and His Fists. 7:30 p.m. $15–$75. blackcatdc.com. dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Gold Connections, Suburban Living. 8:30 p.m. $10. dcnine.com.

FillmoRe silveR spRinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Big Sean. 8 p.m. $45–$155. fillmoresilverspring.com.

state theatRe 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. John 5 & The Creatures. 8 p.m. $22–$25. thestatetheatre.com.

Jazz

WaRneR theatRe 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000.

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. 8 p.m. $48–$145. warnertheatredc.com.

baRns at WolF tRap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Cécile McLorin Salvant and Aaron Diehl. 8 p.m. $35–$45. wolftrap.org. biRChmeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Keiko Matsui. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. SF Jazz Collective. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $55–$60. bluesalley.com. mR. henRy’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Batida Diferente with Kim Scudera. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com. musiC CenteR at stRathmoRe 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Ladies Sing the Blues. 8 p.m. $35–$75. strathmore.org.

CITY LIGHTS: saturday

Mr. carMack

Mr. Carmack posted his first track to SoundCloud back in 2011, when his electronic beats were wobbly and whimsical and his guiding mantra was “make music like nobody’s listening.” But with an eager DIY work ethic and a signature sound that brilliantly bridges the gap between raw, bombastic hip-hop and energetic EDM, the Hawaiian producer caught the attention of popular underground labels like Soulection and Mad Decent and gained nearly half a million new listeners. Despite the enormous following, Mr. Carmack remains true to his origin, preferring to release a lot of his new music for free or payas-you-wish on community-based sharing sites like SoundCloud and Bandcamp.

More recently, his 2016 EP, Yellow, went up for free download on SoundCloud, flexing a whopping 46 tracks of that Mr. Carmack sound—an intriguing recipe of creatively chopped hip-hop vocals amidst hard-hitting percussion, breezy basslines, and latenight spontaneity. Mr. Carmack performs with Rexx Life Raj, Mike Gao, and Kidd Marvel at10 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $20.

(202) 265-0930. 930.com.

—Casey Embert 136 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Rhizome dC 6950 Maple St. NW. Earth Tongues, Noelle Tolbert, Jamal Moore. 8 p.m. $10. rhizomedc.org.

classical

baiRd auditoRium at national museum oF natuRal histoRy 10th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 633-3030. Peabody Symphony Orchestra performs Schubert Symphony #6. 6 p.m. $25. residentassociates.org.

GW lisneR auditoRium 730 21st St. NW. (202) 9946800. GWU Spring Band Concert. 2 p.m., 7 p.m. Free. lisner.gwu.edu.

country

biRChmeRe 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Riders in The Sky Salute Roy Rogers.

7:30 p.m. $25. birchmere.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 137

---------3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

CITY LIGHTS: sunday

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

Apr 6

7 8 9

AMP & COMEDY ZONE PRESENT

Spanky Brown Todd Riley

MARCUS MILLER DON McLEAN KEIKO MATSUI RIDERS IN THE SKY A SALUTE TO ROY ROGERS!

STANLEY CLARKE BAND

10

11 DALE WATSON & RAY BENSON present

DALE & RAY STOKLEY A

THU, April 6

Secret Society FRI, April 7

Alphabet Rockers {Kids pajama jam party}

Sat, April 8

The VI-Kings Sat, April 8

Tribute to Charlie Byrd WITH CHUCK REDD & FRIENDS Fri, April 14

nnAle

12

from Mint

Condition

FISH SAMANTHA w/Guy Davis & Fabrizio Poggi

13

SCIBILIA MARC w/Corey Harper & Brad Ray

14

CLEVE FRANCIS

15 21

THE JAYHAWKS Johnny Irion Brother 25 SARAH JAROSZ Brothers 26 TOWER OF POWER 27 THE EVERLY BROTHERS EXPERIENCE

23

featuring The Zmed Brothers

& The DAVE ALVIN Guilty Ones & Too BILL KIRCHEN Much Fun

28 30

Owen Danoff Jason Kanter

RoCk & Roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

JAIN, Two Feet. 8 p.m. $15–$18. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

‘Grand Piano Live’

Keith Purnell

May 1

Folk

TRANSATLANTIC SESSIONS

feat. Jerry Douglas & Aly Bain (Boys of The Lough) and All-Star Band w/sp. guests The Milk Carton Kids,

THU, April 20

Maura O'Connell, Declan O'Rourke, and Karen Matheson (Capercaillie) & more!

Dengue Fever {Cambodian pop + indie rock}

BoDeans NAJEE 6 7 WMAL FREE SPEECH FORUM

Sat, April 22

An Evening with

Noah & Abby Gundersen Wed, April 26

11810 Grand Park Ave, N. Bethesda, MD Red Line–White Flint Metro

www.AMPbyStrathmore.com

5

Stripped Down, Beautiful Renditions of BoDeans classic!

“The First 100 Days” – 7pm –

CHRISTOPHER CROSS MAJOR. 11 Andy 12 DELBERT McCLINTON Poxon 13 RECKLESS KELLY

10

138 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Haram might have the most important voice in hardcore right now. And that’s saying something, considering this voice performs entirely in Arabic. Here’s the deal: The New York-based hardcore quartet, whose name means “forbidden” in Arabic, plays a kind of pulverizing, breakneck, lo-fi style of hardcore that hits you like an air cannon at a time when we need it most. As the President repeatedly attempts to ban Muslims from entering the country, it’s important to have bands like Haram using their voices—especially in Arabic—to send a resounding “fuck you” to our nation's white supremacists. Since the election, music fans have speculated that punk and hardcore will get really good, with so much political fodder to fuel them. Here’s the reality: Punk and hardcore have always been good, because capitalism, politicians, and the white patriarchy have always been an oozing, festering virus in our country. Haram and its brethren have been preaching about this for years. Now it’s time for the rest of the country to get hip. Haram performs with The Marked Men, Coke Bust, Flasher, and Dirty and His Fists at 7:30 p.m. at Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. $15–$75. (202) 667-4490. blackcatdc.com.

—Matt Cohen

electronic

JOHN TESH

Sat, APril 15

AMP & COMEDY ZONE PRESENT

haraM

w/Blue Water Highway Band

Monday rock

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Octopus Project, Deaf Scene. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Woven Green. 8 p.m. $10–$12. gypsysallys.com.

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Low Cut Connie, Skribe. 7:30 p.m. $10–$15. thehamiltondc.com.

Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 2551566. TFDI Tour feat. Tony Lucca + Jay Nash + Matt Duke. 7:30 p.m. $20–$22. jamminjava.com.

RoCk & Roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Modern English. 8 p.m. $20. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

hip-hop kennedy CenteR millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Bavubuka (Youth) Foundation. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Jazz bethesda blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Elan Trotman & Brian Simpson. 7:30 p.m. $40. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. SF Jazz Collective. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $55–$60. bluesalley.com.

GeoRGetoWn univeRsity mCneiR auditoRium 37th and O streets NW. (202) 687-0100. Georgetown University Jazz Ensemble. 2 p.m. Free. georgetown.edu. mansion at stRathmoRe 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. PUBLIQuartet. 4 p.m. $30. strathmore.org.

sonGbyRd musiC house and ReCoRd CaFe 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Xiu Xiu, Br’er. 7:30 p.m. $13–$15. songbyrddc.com.

Blues

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Laura Reed. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $35. bluesalley.com.

Folk

blaCk Cat baCkstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Emily Wells. 7:30 p.m. $12–$15. blackcatdc.com.

Vocal

kennedy CenteR millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Musical Theatre Division of the Catholic University of America. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

tuesday rock

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Pontiak, Penguin. 9 p.m. $12–$15. dcnine.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 139

CITY LIGHTS: Monday

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

THU 6 FRI 7

FRI 7

APRIL SHOWS SOCIAL STATION

CRYSTAL FIGHTERS

AN INTERSECTIONALFEMENIST BURLESQUE

BAE BAE’S K-POP DANCE PARTY MON 10 EMILY WELLS SAT 8

WED 12

WHY?

THU 13

HEAVY BREATHING

FRI 14

THE 9

SAT 15

CHURCH NIGHT (21+)

SONGWRITER SERIES

SWEET SPIRIT THU 20 VITA & THE WOOLF SUN 16

FRI 21 DAN SAVAGE’S

HUMP!

TO SUN 23 FILM FESTIVAL THU 27

THE GENERATIONALS

FRI 28

BOB MOULD

FRI 28

SASHEER ZAMATA

FRI APRIL 7

CRYSTAL FIGHTERS

loW cut connie

Remember piano rock? It gets a bad rap now, but Elton John (and yes, Billy Joel) could really kick the jams out of pianos for a brief, bright period there before they descended into schmaltz.

Now here to rescue pianos from middle school recitals and YouTube covers of pop songs comes Philadelphia’s Low Cut Connie. The band, led by frontman Adam Weiner and a piano named Shondra, makes singalong songs about nightlife mistakes and too much time spent in casinos.

Its members have a reputation for performing barn-storming live shows, and none other than D.C. personage Barack Obama is a fan. He put the band’s standout song, “Boozophilia,” which name checks his stomping grounds on the South Side of Chicago, on a summer playlist in 2015.

Low Cut Connie performs with Skribe at 7:30 p.m. at The Hamilton, 600 14th St. NW. $10–$15. (202) 787-1000. thehamiltondc.com.

—Will Sommer

classical

electronic

country

u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Thomas Gold, Sumner. 10 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

lyCeum 201 S. Washington St., Alexandria. (703) 8384994. U.S. Air Force Band Chamber Players Series.

7:30 p.m. Free. alexandriava.gov/lyceum.

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Son Volt. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

Jazz

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Keith Busey & Friends. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $35. bluesalley.com.

World

kennedy CenteR millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Danilo Brito. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Wednesday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Baroness. 7 p.m. $30. 930.com. blaCk Cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. WHY? Eskimeaux. 7:30 p.m. $16–$18. blackcatdc.com.

WHY?

WED MAY 12

TAKE METRO!

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM 140 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Birds of Chicago. 8 p.m. $12–$15. gypsysallys.com.

Rhizome dC 6950 Maple St. NW. Tom Carter, Bennett/Weinberg/Welcome, Rex Delafkaran. 8 p.m. $10. rhizomedc.org.

Flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Jacques Greene, Suicideyear, Nick Garcia. 10 p.m. $8. flashdc.com.

Folk

mansion at stRathmoRe 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Patrick McAvinue.

7:30 p.m. $17. strathmore.org.

Funk & r&B

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Tamara Wellons. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $37. bluesalley.com.

hip-hop

u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Kate Tempest. 7 p.m. $18. ustreetmusichall.com.

Jazz

tWins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Jozef Nadj. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $22. twinsjazz.com.

Vocal

u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Kate Tempest. 7 p.m. $18. ustreetmusichall.com.

World

kennedy CenteR millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Nile Project. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

sonGbyRd musiC house and ReCoRd CaFe 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Little Hurricane. 8 p.m. $15–$17. songbyrddc.com.

thursday

veRizon CenteR 601 F St. NW. (202) 628-3200. Red Hot Chili Peppers. 8 p.m. $52–$102. verizoncenter.com.

blaCk Cat baCkstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Heavy Breathing, Des Demonas. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.

rock

CITY LIGHTS: tuesday

danilo Brito

Long before Brazil had samba, bossa nova, and numerous other musical styles, it had choro, a largely instrumental style developed in the 19th century that merges classical, polka, and waltzes with African rhythms. Featuring various stringed instruments, horns, and a hand-held frame drum called a pandeiro, the music is sometimes used for dancing, but it’s mainly for listening. One of its current leading practitioners is Danilo Brito, who plays mandolin and the four-stringed tenor guitar. Early on, Brito was self-taught, picking up his dad’s mandolin at age 3 to try it. By 13, he was strumming with players much older and released his first album. Now in his 30s, he performs at the Kennedy Center Millennium Stage with his quintet that includes speedy string players and a percussionist, but no horns. Often picking high-pitched notes quickly like a ragtime jazz player, Brito is characterized by his virtuosity and exuberance. However, the word choro means cry in Portuguese, and his ensemble also seamlessly switches gears to play more wistful melodies.

Danilo Brito performs at 6 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Millennium Stage, 2700 F St. NW. $49–$159.

(202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Steve Kiviat

TRIVIA E V E RY M O N DAY & W E D N E S DAY

$12 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M

CAROLYN WONDERLAND SAT., APR. 8 ~ 9:30PM TIX: $16/$20

600 beers from around the world

Downstairs: good food, great beer: all day every day *all shows 21+ APRIL 6TH

SUPER SPECTACULAR COMEDY SHOW AGAINST ISLAMOPHOBIA

PRESENTED BY GRASSROOTS COMEDY DOORS AT 6PM SHOW AT 7:30

H

APRIL 7TH

DC GURLY SHOW

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM APRIL 8TH

dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Pile, Gnarwahl, Two Inch Astronaut. 8 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. The Heavy Pets, Backup Planet. 8:30 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com.

Jammin Java 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 2551566. Cory Branan. 7:30 p.m. $15–$25. jamminjava.com.

RoCk & Roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Diet Cig. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com. sonGbyRd musiC house and ReCoRd CaFe 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Kawehi, Tyler Boone.

8:30 p.m. $18. songbyrddc.com.

2200 N. Westmoreland Street, No. 101, Arlington. April 10, 7 p.m. Free. (703) 300-9746. onemorepagebooks.com laila lalami, luis uRRea, and shobha Rao Laila Lalami, in Hope and Other Dangerous Pursuits, Luis Urrea, in Into the Beautiful North, and Shobha Rao, in An Unrestored Woman, explore the fates of people who are unsettled and don’t have a stationary place to live. At this reading, they discuss how their work relates to contemporary events. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. April 7 7:30 p.m. $15. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.

classical

kennedy CenteR millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Youth Fellows. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

electronic

u stReet musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Buku, Late Night Radio. 10:30 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

Funk & r&B

bethesda blues & Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Let It Flow Band. 8 p.m. $35. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Galleries

aRlinGton aRts CenteR 3550 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 248-6800. arlingtonartscenter.org.

Opening: “Spring Solos 2017.” More than 100 artists from around the region applied and 14 were selected to participate in this annual exhibition that allows each artist to curate and display their work throughout the arts center. April 8 to June 11.

Jazz

the athenaeum 201 Prince St. , Alexandria. (703) 548-0035. nvfaa.org. Opening: “Virginia Plants and Pollinators.” See up-close images of bees, plants, and the process of pollination in this exhibition of work by photographer Deanna Marion. April 6 to May 14.

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Dirty Bourbon River Show. 7:30 p.m. $8–$12.25. thehamiltondc.com.

bRentWood aRts exChanGe 3901 Rhode Island Ave., Brentwood. (301) 277-2863. arts.pgparks.com.

Ongoing: “Re-Locations.” In this exhibition of representational paintings, Morgan Craig, Joey Manlapaz, and Trevor Young explore their connection to specific places and capture the meaning of different locations. March 27 to May 27.

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cheikh Ndoye & Friends. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $50. bluesalley.com.

mR. henRy’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. New Voices at Mr. Henry’s with Giovanni Cueto, Darcy Cooke, Richard Fulks, Sonja Joy Oakcrum, Reggie Upshaw, Sadie Flick. 8 p.m. $12–$15. mrhenrysdc.com.

World

tRopiCalia 2001 14th St. NW. (202) 629-4535. Kiko Villamizar and Los Gaiteros de SanGuashington. 8 p.m. $10–$15. tropicaliadc.com.

Books

danielle paiGe The novelist reads from her latest book, Stealing Snow, about a teenager who escapes from a mental institution. One More Page Books.

Civilian aRt pRoJeCts 4718 14th St. NW. (202) 6073804. civilianartprojects.com. Ongoing: “Glass Giant.”

Color field painter Jason Gubbiotti presents a series of brightly colored canvases that explore shape and balance in this exhibition of new work, his second at Civilian. March 11 to April 15. montpelieR aRts CenteR 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. arts.pgparks.com. Ongoing: “Substrates.” Artists present paintings and drawings on unconventional surfaces like cardboard, ceramic, and fabric in this group show. April 2 to May 28. Ongoing: “Barbara Talbott.” Talbott, who worked professionally in advertising and graphic design, returns to her roots with this exhibition, that incorporates the training she received at MICA. April 8 to April 30.

MILITARY VETERANS FUNDRAISER WITH THE ASAP ORGANIZATION DOORS AT 7:30PM APRIL 9TH

STARR STRUCK COMEDY, DOORS AT 7PM, SHOW AT 8PM APRIL 10TH

ROGUE ALES MEET AND GREET WITH ROGUE OWNER AT 5PM ARROGANT BREWING BASTARDS AND BURLESQUE FREE SHOW AT 8PM

4.6 4.7 4.8 4.9 4.11 4.12 4.13 4.15 4.20 4.21 4.22 4.25 4.27 4.29

TAPPING AT 5PMWITH LIVE MUSIC AND FREE COMEDY SHOW BY CAPITAL LAUGHS

DARK HORSE AND AGAINST THE GRAIN TAPPING AT 5PM APRIL 12TH

FOUNDERS &AVERY BREWING BREAKFAST FOR DINNER KBS RELEASE AT 5PM SMUTTYNOSE RARE BEER TAPPING WITH BRINGYOUR OWN VINYL DJ AT 6PM

5.2 5.5 5.8 5.9 5.11 5.12 5.15 5.18 5.25 6.1

APRIL 13TH

6.2 6.23 6.27

TAPPING AT 5PM

8.29

APRIL 14TH

9.21

O’CONNORSBREWING TAPPING AT 5PM STARRHILLHOPSONTOUR

LAST RESORT COMEDY,DOORS AT 6:30PM 1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events

HOLLERTOWN MARK EITZEL / HOWE GELB CAROLYN WONDERLAND SELWYN BIRCHWOOD SCOTT KURT LIVE BAND KARAOKE DALLAS MOORE MEMPHIS 59 K. PHILIPS THE HIGHBALLERS THE WOODSHEDDERS AMELIA WHITE / MARY MATTIATA DANNY BARNES / JENNI LYN RENCH (GANGSTAGRASS – ALBUM RELEASE SHOW)

H

APRIL 11TH

10 BARRELAND GOOSE ISLAND SOUR HOUR

VENT! DC’S ONLY INTERACTIVE COMEDY HAPPY HOUR PRESENTED BY

H

H LA TERZA CLASSE BLOODSHOT BILL TIM EASTON OLD SALT UNION SHAWN JAMES (SOLO) THE WHISTLES & THE BELLS GURF MORLIX TH’ LEGNEDARY SHACK SHAKERS / JESSE DAYTON SHANNON MCNALLY GANGSTAGRASS / THE WHISKEY GENTRY BILLY JOE SHAVER FOLK SOUL REVIVAL FLAT DUO JETS / DADDY LONG LEGS DALE WATSON & HIS LONE STARS THE BLASTERS

HILL COUNTRY BARBECUE MARKET

410 Seventh St, NW • 202.556.2050 Hillcountrylive.com • Twitter @hillcountrylive

Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro washingtoncitypaper.com april 7, 2017 141

moRton Fine aRt 1781 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 6282787. mortonfineart.com. Opening: “Natalie Cheung and Nate Lewis.” Cheung presents a series of colorful, altered photographs, while Lewis displays paper sculptures inspired by the human form. April 7 to April 26.

CITY LIGHTS: Wednesday

taRGet GalleRy at toRpedo FaCtoRy 105 N. Union St., Alexandria. (703) 838-4565. torpedofactory.org. Ongoing: “Ephemera.” Artists from around the world present works that are purposely meant to decompose over time or that capture the fleeting nature of certain things in this group exhibit. April 1 to May 14.

midWesteRn GothiC Royce Vavrek and Josh Schmidt present this new musical about a woman who wants more than anything to escape her dull surroundings. As she fantasizes about her goals, her thoughts take a perverse turn, resulting in a shocking resolution. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To April 30. $40–$94. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

vivid solutions GalleRy 1231 Good Hope Road SE. (202) 365-8392. vividsolutionsdc.com. Closing: “Reclamation.” Ric Cunningham presents his first solo show, a series of soft female forms painted on old, uneven boards. The work encourages visitors to embrace second chances as well as the sorrow that comes from revisiting old memories. Feb. 10 to April 9.

mnemoniC Colin Hovde directs a revised version of this drama that explores the nature of memory and the ways in which people around the world are connected in unexpected ways. Theater Alliance’s production incorporates topics from the 21st century to highlight the timelessness of the play’s themes. Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To April 9. $30–$40. (202) 290-2328. anacostiaplayhouse.com.

WashinGton pRintmakeRs GalleRy 1641 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 669-1497. washingtonprintmakers.com. Ongoing: “Marian Osher.” The artist combines elements of mixed media, painting, and printmaking in the works she presents. March 29 to April 29.

Dance

the 7 FinGeRs oF the hand The Montreal-based movement company combines acrobatic feats, dance, and theatrics to explore a family kitchen where memories are made and stories are told in its latest piece, Cuisine & Confessions. George Mason University Center for the Arts. 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. April 8, 2 p.m.; April 8, 8 p.m.; April 9, 4 p.m. $30–$50. (888) 945-2468. cfa.gmu.edu. blaCk iCe Jane Franklin Dance interprets the climate change crisis through movement in this piece that explores what happens to fish and birds as the world continues to get hotter. Theatre on the Run. 3700 S. Four Mile Run Drive, Arlington. April 7, 7:30 p.m.; April 8, 7:30 p.m. $25–$26.50. (703) 228-1850. arlingtonarts.org.

“Flint,” “anotheR side oF you,” “akWantuo: the JouRney” In “Flint,” LaTefia Bradley uses movement to explain and express her concerns about the water crisis in Flint, Michigan. Allen Chunhui Xing looks at the ways individuals conform to societal expectations in “Another Side of You.” Mustapha Braimah tells the story of people navigating the visa process in “Akwantuo: The Journey,” which combines traditional African, contemporary and Ghanaian dance styles. Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center.

Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. April 8, 2 p.m.; April 8, 7 p.m. Free. (301) 405-2787. theclarice.umd.edu. the miGRation pRoJeCt (push/pull) Jane Franklin Dance explores the idea of immigration in this movement and visual art project conceived with Rosemary Feit Covey. Looking at the ways people and animals change locations, this production starts at Theatre on the Run before taking to the streets and concluding at a different location. Theatre on the Run. 3700 S. Four Mile Run Drive, Arlington. April 7, 7:30 p.m.; April 8, 7:30 p.m.; April 9, 3 p.m. $20–$26.50.

(703) 228-1850. arlingtonarts.org.

Rosie heRReRa danCe theatRe Herrera draws on her life story for inspiration for the two pieces she presents at Dance Place. In “Cookie’s Kid,” she tells the story of her childhood and her parents and in “Dining Alone,” she explores themes of isolation and aging. Dance Place. 3225 8th St. NE. April 8, 8 p.m.; April 9, 7 p.m. $15–$30. (202) 269-1600. danceplace.org.

WalkinG With ‘tRane Acclaimed all-female dance company Urban Bush Women explore the music and legacy of jazz artist John Coltrane in this new work that also incorporates multimedia elements in its staging. Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. April 7, 8 p.m.; April 8, 8 p.m. $25–$79. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

the maGiC play An acclaimed magician maintains total control over his audiences and his love life but when a new companion challenges him to confront his fears, his entire career might be upended. Halena Kays directs this new play from writer Andrew Hinderaker. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To May 7. $35–$70. (301) 9243400. olneytheatre.org.

JacQues greene

No one does more with the words and clips and phrases of R&B songs than Jacques Greene. Since the beginning of the decade, the Montreal DJ and producer has spun musical fragments by the likes of Brandy, Ashanti, and Ciara into house and techno gold, recasting song scraps into dance floor anthems. And after years of singles, EPs, and remixes, Greene has finally released his longawaited debut album, Feel Infinite. Greene still wields a scalpel on the album, giving new life to samples both familiar and mysterious as he lays down lush landscapes with warm synthesizers and percolating drum machines. And like his earlier music, the album is heavy with a sense of bittersweet romance. “Music has always been a personal therapeutic experience for me,” he says in press materials. “When things either in my personal life or the world at large feel more chaotic or out of control and ominous—closing it all out and creating something at home is something to hold onto while the room spins.” With Feel Infinite, Greene guides dancers to safety in spinning rooms, the anonymous voices of his music like the Sirens in reverse. Jacques Greene performs at 10 p.m. at Flash, 645 Florida Ave. NW. $8. (202) 827-8791. flashdc.com.

—Chris Kelly

Theater

baCk to methuselah: as FaR as aRt Can ReaCh Washington Stage Guild wraps up its multiyear presentation of George Bernard Shaw’s masterpiece with this final piece, an early foray into science fiction that blends satire with speculation about the future. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To April 16. $50–$60. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org. blood knot Joy Zinoman directs Athol Fugard’s searing drama about the conflict between a lightskinned man and his darker-skinned brother who navigate the horrors of Apartheid and emotional tension in a divided South Africa. Mosaic Theater presents this play as part of its “South Africa: Then & Now” series. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To April 30. $20–$60. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org. bRiGhton beaCh memoiRs Neil Simon’s landmark play about Eugene, a Brooklyn boy eager to grow up and explore the world comes to Theater J in a new production directed by Matt Torney. Lise Bruneau, Michael Glenn, and Susan Rome star in this lively, witty, and warm comedy. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To May 7. $17–$47. (202) 777-3210. theaterj.org.

ChiCaGo Snap on your buckled shows and enjoy this acclaimed musical about the celebrity that comes after committing a scandalous murder. Featuring songs like “All That Jazz” and “Nowadays,” this Kander and Ebb classic always delivers. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To April 16. $49–$129.

(202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. doubt: a paRable Set at a New York Catholic school in the 1960s, this Tony-winning play follows a charismatic priest and the nun who leads the school

142 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

and suspects him of mistreating a shy African-American student. Chelsea Mayo and Stephanie Mumford star in this production of John Patrick Shanley’s searing drama. Quotidian Theatre Company at The Writer’s Center. 4508 Walsh St., Bethesda. To May 7. $15–$30. (301) 816-1023. quotidiantheatre.org. dRy land Ruby Rae Spiegel’s new drama focuses on abortion and how friendships can help women survive tough situations. Taking place in a high school locker room, this production is directed by Amber McGinnis and performed in Repertory with What Every Girl Should Know. Forum Theatre at Silver Spring Black Box Theatre. 8641 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. To April 15. $18–$38. (301) 588-8279. forum-theatre.org.

GoGol’s nose and otheR stRanGe tales FRom the City The short stories of Nikolai Gogol are turned into plays in this physical performance piece presented in Mason’s TheatreSpace. George Mason University Center for the Arts. 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. To April 9. $15–$25. (888) 945-2468. cfa.gmu.edu. a human beinG died that niGht A black psychologist interrogates one of the Apartheid era’s most aggressive torturers and murderers in this intense drama based on true events. Presented as part of Mosaic Theater’s “South Africa: Then & Now” series.

Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To April 30. $9–$50. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org. kinG leaR A mighty leader retires, disowns his favorite daughter, and banishes his closest advisor and confidante. From the moment Lear appears, we know we will witness his unraveling. A dominion teeters in the balance as a once-powerful tycoon becomes increasingly out of touch with reality. Lean & Hungry’s celebrates its 10th anniversary with this production that removes the Foley table and the microphone stands to create a fully staged production. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To April 23. $20. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

no sisteRs While Chekhov’s Three Sisters plays in one theater, Aaron Posner directs his new adaptation of the Russian comedy that follows the rest of the characters while the title characters opine their fates.

This world-premiere work is presented as part of Studio R&D, the theater’s new works initiative. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To April 23. $20–$55. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. oR, Local favorite Holly Twyford stars as Aphra Behn in this play inspired by Restoration comedy. As she struggles to save the King of England and deliver her play in the same night, a madcap series of foibles unfolds. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 EastWest Highway, Bethesda. To May 7. $36–$65. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. paRade The tragic, true story of a Jewish man who is wrongly accused of murder and lynched in the early 20th century is the centerpiece of this musical from popular composer Jason Robert Brown. At Keegan, directors Susan Marie Rhea and Christina A. Coakley lead a cast featuring Michael Innocenti, Eleanor J. Todd, and Cassie Cope. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To April 15. $45–$55. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com. pike st. Nilaja Sun stars in this one-woman show about a Puerto Rican family settling into their new life on New York’s Lower East Side. Ron Russell directs this warm show about the many people who work together to make the world work. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To April 23. $20–$54. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

RaGtime This stirring musical, written by Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty and inspired by E.L. Doctorow novel, tells the story of three different New York families at the turn of the 20th century. Featuring memorable songs like “Your Daddy’s Eyes,” “Wheels of a Dream,” and “Make Them Hear You,” this production stars Tracy Lynn Olivera, Nova Y. Payton, and Jonathan Atkinson. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To May 20. $18–$71. (202) 347-4833. fords.org. a Raisin in the sun Lorraine Hansbury’s landmark play about a family that strives to create a life beyond its Chicago apartment receives a new treatment from director Tazewell Thompson. A sudden influx of income makes their dream seem possible but when it turns out their goals are different, each member must figure out how to make things work. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To April 30. $40–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. thRee sisteRs The title characters in this Chekhov comedy fight against the restrictions of their small town and lament their missed opportunities as they deal with annoying relatives and unworthy mates.

Jackson Gay directs this production, presented in collaboration with New Neighborhood. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To April 23. $20–$85. (202) 3323300. studiotheatre.org. a voiCe to be heaRd: a CelebRation oF latino and hispaniC lGbt youth Christopher Janson and Tony Koehler direct this evening of poems and stories from Hispanic LGBTQ youth. Source Theatre.

1835 14th St. NW. To April 10. $15. (202) 204-7800. sourcedc.org.

Well Playwright Lisa Kron examines her relationship with her mother in this so-called “solo show with people in it” and tries to explain how her mother was able to help others but couldn’t help herself.

The Tony-nominated play is directed at 1st Stage

by Michael Bloom. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road,

CITY LIGHTS: thursday

diet cig

There’s something unusually addicting about Diet Cig’s new song “Barf Day.” “And I’m sick of being my own best friend / Will you be there in the end?” Alex Luciano sings in her lucid voice, just before she thrashes on her guitar and drummer Noah Bowman kicks in with cymbal and snare. This transition–in which Luciano’s tender voice, prominent above quieter drums and guitar, precedes a turn into a bold chorus–is one of the best features of the duo’s modern, poppy punk rock. It shows up again and again in their songs, and for good reason: It’s a classic technique, executed with Luciano’s impressively high voice. Her gender identity is not an insubstantial part of Diet Cig’s appeal, after all. Distorted guitar and aggressive drumming pair well with feminine voices—of which there are far too few in punk. But more important is Luciano’s role as a lyricist and frontwoman. If Diet Cig’s fun, pop-punk sensibilities call for nods, claps, and smiles, Luciano’s lyrics and tone—defiant, confident, daring one to underestimate her—call for something else. Raised fists, perhaps. “I’m not being dramatic,” she sings in “Link in Bio.” “I’ve just fucking had it.” Diet Cig performs with Daddy Issues, DC Gr!asp, and Bad Moves at 8 p.m. at Rock & Roll Hotel, 1353 H St. NE. $15. (202) 388-7625. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

—Kevin Carty

McLean. To April 23. $15–$30. (703) 854-1856.

1ststagetysons.org.

What eveRy GiRl should knoW Set in a New York reformatory in the 1910s, this drama follows four teenage girls as they negotiate the events and traumas that landed them in such a dire spot. Jenna Duncan directs the D.C. premiere of Monica Byrne’s drama about the strength of human spirit and the power of imagination. Performed in repertory with Dry Land. Forum Theatre at Silver Spring Black Box Theatre. 8641 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. To April 15. $18–$38. (301) 588-8279. forum-theatre.org.

Film

the boss baby Alec Baldwin provides the voice for the business suit-attired baby in this animated comedy that finds him teaming up with his older brother to take down the evil CEO of Puppy Co. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) Ghost in the shell Scarlett Johansson plays Major, the first human cyber-engineered to become a soldier who takes out the world’s worst criminals in this science fiction film based on the comic by Masamune Shirow. Directed by Rupert Sanders. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

GiFted Chris Evans plays a man raising his young niece in this romantic drama from director Marc Webb. When it turns out the girl is a mathematical prodigy, her uncle and grandmother fight over custody and making the right decision when it comes to her schooling. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) GoinG in style Alan Arkin, Morgan Freeman, and Michael Caine play three friends who embark on a daring bid to make money to support their ailing families in this comedy from director Zach Braff. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) smuRFs: the lost villaGe In this latest animated film about small blue creatures, Smurfette and her friends follow a mysterious map through the forest and make a variety of discoveries. Featuring the voices of Demi Lovato, Ariel Winter, and Rainn Wilson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the zookeepeR’s WiFe Based on the book by Diane Ackerman, a Polish zoo manager and his wife struggle to save animals and people during the Nazi occupation. Jessica Chastain and Johan Heldenbergh star in the drama set in World War II. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

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Act of 1982.

The master plan is an update from the previous 2014 Draft Environmental Impact Statement (DEIS) as a result of changes to the overall land area available for the FMC and subsequent changes to the development program and site access resulting from the changes in site area. The master plan is intended to guide the development of a cohesive campus by establishing design and landuse planning principles for the construction of new buildings, roadways, open green space, and utilities, while minimizing environmental impacts.

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Legals U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE Invitation to an Open House and Public Hearing on the Supplemental Draft Environmental Impact Statement and Compliance with Section 106 of the National Historic Preservation Act for the Foreign Missions Center Master Plan at the Former Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Washington, DC The U.S. Department of State invites you to attend an Open House and Public Hearing on the Supplemental Draft Environmental Impact Statement (SDEIS) to receive comments from the public during the mandated public comment period. Under the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) of 1969, the Department of State will identify a Preferred Alternative to prepare a master plan for the longterm development of a Foreign Missions Center (FMC) on the site of the former Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC) in the District of Columbia, under authorities of the Foreign Missions Act of 1982.

The master plan is an update from the previous 2014 Draft Environmental Impact Statement (DEIS) as a result of changes to the overall land area available for the FMC and subsequent changes to the development program and site access resulting from the changes in site area. The master plan is intended to guide the development of a cohesive campus by establishing design and landuse planning principles for the construction of new buildings, roadways, open green space, and utilities, while minimizing environmental impacts.

The Department of State invites individuals, organizations and agencies to submit comments concerning the content and findings of the Supplemental Draft Environmental Impact Statement during the Public Hearing. Doors will open at 4:30pm for the Open House and the Public Hearing will start promptly at 6:30pm at the same location.

Thursday, April 20, 2017 4:30pm – 6:30pm Open House 6:30pm – 8:30pm Public Hearing Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Red Cross Building Dahlia Street, NW - Building 41 Washington, D.C. 20012 The Department of State will consider and respond to comments received on the SDEIS in preparing the Final Environmental Impact Statement (FEIS). The public comment period starts with the publication of the Notice of Availability in the Federal Register and will continue for forty-fi ve (45) days.

In addition, the Department of State is continuing to carry out the review process under Section 106 of the National Historic Preservation Act of 1966 regarding the washingtoncitypaper.com potential effect of the proposed undertaking on identifi ed historic properties. Public comments regarding the effect of the proposed undertaking on identifi ed historic properties will be accepted as part

The Department of State invites individuals, organizations and Legals agencies to submit comments concerning the content and findings of the Supplemental Draft Environmental Impact Statement during the Public Hearing. Doors will open at 4:30pm for the Open House and the Public Hearing will start promptly at 6:30pm at the same location.

Thursday, April 20, 2017 4:30pm – 6:30pm Open House 6:30pm – 8:30pm Public Hearing Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Red Cross Building Dahlia Street, NW - Building 41 Washington, D.C. 20012

properties will be accepted as part of the SDEIS review process.

All comments on the SDEIS process must be submitted by May 18, 2017, to ensure that they are considered during preparation of the FEIS. The public can provide comments in the following ways: 1) oral and written comments may be submitted during the Public Hearing; 2) email comments to FMC.info@state.gov; or 3) mail comments to (if mailed, comments should be post-marked no later than May 18, 2017): Geoffrey Hunt, Department of State A/OPR/RPM, Room 1264 2201 C St. NW Washington, D.C. 20520-1264

Legals

The SDEIS for the FMC Master Plan will be available online at http://www.state.gov/ofm/property/fmc/index.htm on March 23, 2017. Copies will also be available for public review at the following libraries: Juanita E. Thornton-Shepherd Park Library, Takoma Park Neighborhood Library, and Petworth Neighborhood Library.

WASHINGTON GLOBAL PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL NOTICE: REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS

The Department of State will consider and respond to comments received on the SDEIS in preparing the Final Environmental Impact Statement (FEIS). The public comment period starts with the publication of the Notice of Availability in the Federal Register and will continue for forty-fi ve (45) days.

Washington Global Public Charter School in accordance with section 2204(c) of the District of Columbia School Reform Act of 1995 solicits proposals for the following services:

In addition, the Department of State is continuing to carry out the review process under Section 106 of the National Historic Preservation Act of 1966 regarding the potential effect of the proposed undertaking on identifi ed historic properties. Public comments regarding the effect of the proposed undertaking on identifi ed historic properties will be accepted as part of the SDEIS review process.

A Portable Document Format (pdf) election version of your proposal must be received by the school no later than 4:00 p.m. EST on April 14, 2017 unless otherwise stated in associated RFP’s.

Proposals should be emailed to bids@washingtonglobal.org.

All comments on the SDEIS process must be submitted by May 18, 2017, to ensure that they are considered during preparation of the FEIS. The public can provide comments in the following ways: 1) oral and written comments may be submitted during the Public Hearing; 2) email comments to FMC.info@state.gov; or 3) mail comments to (if mailed, comments should be post-marked no later than May 18, 2017): Geoffrey Hunt, Department of State A/OPR/RPM, Room 1264 2201 C St. NW Washington, D.C. 20520-1264 The SDEIS for the FMC Master Plan will be available online at http://www.state.gov/ofm/property/fmc/index.htm on March 23, 2017. Copies will also be available for public review at the following libraries: Juanita E. Thornton-Shepherd Park Library, Takoma Park Neighborhood Library, and Petworth Neighborhood Library.

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washingtoncitypaper.com April 7, 2017 145

Out with the old, In with the

By The NumBerS

Average valid votes per category: 536

50,956 137,335 Total valid ballots

Total valid votes

Categories with the most votes Individual Personal Trainer—3,945 Vet—2,896 Food Truck—2,797 Pizza—2,159 Coffee Shop—2,024 Hair Salon—1,779 Property Management Company—1,764 Fast Casual Dining—1,644 Bar—1,627 Gym—1,606

Votes per category

Biggest victories Best Threading Dupont Threading 95.42% Best Plastic Surgeon Steven P. Davison, MD 76.72% Best Delivery Service From the Farmer 73.19% Best Escape Room The Escape Lounge 71.73% Best Landscape/Garden Design Hawthorne Garden Design 68.79%

Food & Drink 57,073

Arts & Entertainment 15,107 People & Places 15,170

Invalid ballots cast by ballot-stuffers and Hungarian spam bots filling in nonsense, amounting to 254,318 invalidated votes.* *Way more than years past.

146 april 7, 2017 washingtoncitypaper.com

Narrowest victories

(percent of votes in this category won by the winner)

Goods & Services 49,985

2,431

Bakery—1,572 Bagel—1,517 Neighborhood Bar—1,483 Nonprofit—1,445 Spa—1,427 Museum off the Mall—1,415 Movers—1,349 Therapeutic Massage—1,342 Hair Stylist—1,330 Asian Restaurant—1,255

Best Individual Personal Trainer Michael Everts 3.40% Best Brunch Farmers Fishers Bakers 4.95% Best Bartender Eddy Silva 4.97% Best Bar The Park at Fourteenth 4.98% Best Restaurant Hot N Juicy Crawfish 5.53%

Comments we’re still contemplating • The food sucks- but dogs in tuxes!

• It’s tasty by God • He ia greAT FOR PEOPLE NEEDING TO IDENTIFY A JOB THEY WILL LOVE • this is my correct vote • The slices of pizza are great,you can even eat the box.

• Makes you say “whaaaaa” • Where is the ‘best ramen’ section? Or is it combined with pho?

• Only spa which doesn’t discriminate with wax! -Manzilians and Brazilians are the same price! Sidney is the best when it comes to my Manscaping!

• love to get loco!!!

• Their chicken is good and you can really taste the flavor of chicken • That’s how I met Rick • The best crableg • omz yum • Presbyterian I think • Despite their TERRIBLE service • It didn’t specify current, so best ever • Barista Ian’s pour overs will flip your comb-overs • The best and meanest lawyer • Converted me to borscht!

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