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PHOTOGRAPHS BY DARROW MONTGOMERY

4 chatter 9 BeSt OF FOOD & DrINK 45 BeSt OF artS & eNtertaINMeNt 87 BeSt OF GOODS & SerVIceS 127 BeSt OF peOple & placeS

cIty lISt 153 Music 158 Theater 160 Film

161 claSSIFIeDS DIVerSIONS 162 Crossword

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CHATTER Art Attack

In which readers shed no tears for District artists

DArrow MontgoMery

Much of the reader response in our comments sec-

tion to Arts Editor Matt Cohen’s report on the displacement of Union Arts resident artists (“A More Perfect Union,” April 1) could be boiled down to a half-hearted shrug. Reader patrick wasn’t convinced that the arts are worth saving: “The argument around arts spaces continues to boil down to ‘The arts are important and need space, because the arts are important.’ Until art and artists can more effectively articulate the social good of the field these situations will be inevitable.” Charles Jackson agreed and piled on: “As much as I like art and music and dislike what some developers do in this city, I don’t think there’s any danger of DC becoming a cultural wasteland nor do I think the artists deserve any special treatment… These artists have received lower-than-market rate rents and have had the DC government work with them to find a solution to their problems for one reason only: the supply of what they provide greatly outstrips the demand for it. Whether these artists feel any sense of entitlement to their space I don’t know, but sooner or later reality has to set in... My own business has gone through its own problems over the years but I always found a way to adapt. So should these artists.” Which raises the question: How much does Charles Jackson spend on art? Does his appreciation extend to actually opening his wallet? Reader Tom M pointed out that maybe the displaced artists have their own privilege to check: “When artistist and musicians are displaced, its a subject for protests. When half the black and african american population was displaced and replaced by caucasians in shaw neighborhood, those opposed to change were NIMBY, opposing needed change, standing against inevitable ‘progress’. Were the artists protesting that change? Gentrification -- is it only a b*tch if YOUR cherished block is changed in a way you don’t like? Just wondering about where the justice line starts and ends....” And finally, we had a reader jump to defend gentrification: Robin Rose wrote, “When gentrification occurs in a city, to make the cityscape more beautiful there are always those who are hurt or displaced. It is a fact of life....A boutique hotel in that area would be a beautiful sight when tourists enter DC.I personally believe that that area is in much need of gentrification.” Shudder. —Emily Q. Hazzard Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarifications, or praise to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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EvErybody wants a “guy.”

No, not necessarily a literal male person, but somebody you trust with a particular task, as in, “I need somebody to fix the drain under my bathroom sink, have you got a guy?” And if we were just talking about one particular task—who’s a great babysitter, or what’s a good place to get my phone fixed—it could be easy enough to survey the people around you for trusted information. But could you do it for a huge range of topics in D.C.? Quick—what’s the best burger in town? What’s the best gallery? The best place to get your bike fixed? A good electrician? The best nonprofit? Best travel agent? Best brunch? It’s not easy, is it? We all want a little bit of inside knowledge and some trusted opinions to help decide how we spend our time and money. Fortunately, Washington City Paper is here to help. In a poll conducted over a month, we asked thousands of people to give us their favorites in hundreds of categories. More than 150,000 votes later, we give you Best of D.C.—your guide to the finest our city has to offer. In these pages, you’ll find both readers’ choices and staff picks—our writers’ insights into their favorite people, places, and things (including my favorite this year, “Best Place to Purchase the Largest Carrots You’ve Ever Seen, Chicken Feet, $2 Brooms, Other Wonders”). Hold on to this issue for the year, and consult it when you need to know the best pizza or pawn shop or place to volunteer. Sometimes it’s good to have the wisdom of 50,000 people at your fingertips. —Steve Cavendish

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FOOD & DRINK Best Brunch, Staff Pick: Dukeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Grocery

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 9

Readers’ Picks FOOD & DRINK

Best AlcOhOlIc PuNch

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Readers Say: “It’s super sweet, and it gets the job done!” Runners-Up: Mason Social, Farmers Fishers Bakers

Best AsIAN RestAuRANt

Thip Khao 3462 14th St. NW, (202) 387-5426, thipkhao.com Readers Say: “Quality, value, portion, friendliness.” Runners-Up: Maketto, Beau Thai

Best BeeR FestIvAl

Snallygaster snallygasterdc.com Readers Say: “This really shouldn’t even be close. Snallygaster offers the best beers in the region each year.” Runners-Up: Drink the District Cherry Blossom Beer and Wine Festival; SAVOR, Tour de Fat (tie)

Best BlOODy mARy

Mason Social 728 N. Henry St., Alexandria, (703) 548-8800, mason-social.com Runners-Up: Founding Farmers, Logan Tavern

Best BOOzy mIlKshAKe

Best BRuNch

Readers Say: “Save room for one of their adult milkshakes, because you should.”

Runners-Up: Le Diplomate, Founding Farmers

Mason Social 728 N. Henry St., Alexandria, (703) 548-8800, mason-social.com

Ted’s Bulletin Multiple Locations, tedsbulletin.com

Runners-Up: Satellite Room, Burger Tap & Shake

Best BReWPuB

Right Proper Brewing Company 624 T St. NW, (202) 607-2337, rightproperbrewing.com Readers Say: “Best beer period. Top notch food to pair.” Runners-Up: Bluejacket, Mad Fox Brewing Company

Best BAgel

Readers Say: “This is by far T.H.E. BEST BURGER I’ve ever had! I love this place and I’m a frequent flyer here!” Runners-Up: Duke’s Grocery, Mason Social

Best cheF

Readers Say: “His food makes me literally dance in my seat like I’m a little child!!!”

Readers Say: “I’m a New Yorker and a bagel snob, and this is as close as it gets to a NY bagel.”

Runners-Up: José Andrés, Andrew Markert

Runners-Up: Bethesda Bagels, Buffalo & Bergen

Best BAKeRy

Readers Say: “So wonderful to have the comfortable oldies come back in an updated way!”

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D rop

Best chINese

Panda Gourmet 2700 New York Ave. NE, (202) 534-1620, facebook.com/ pandagourmetdc

Readers Say: “When all the Chinese tour buses stop there, you know there’s something special.”

RareSweets 963 Palmer Alley NW, (202) 499-0077, raresweets.com

Runners-Up: Mr. Chen’s Organic Chinese Cuisine, Peter Chang

Runners-Up: The Cakeroom, Baked & Wired

Best cOcKtAIl BAR

Best BAR

Beuchert’s Saloon 623 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, (202) 733-1384, beuchertssaloon.com

Mason Social 728 N. Henry St., Alexandria, (703) 548-8800, mason-social.com

Runners-Up: Copycat Co., The Gibson

Runners-Up: Boundary Stone Public House, Beuchert’s Saloon

Best cOFFee shOP

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Runners-Up: Rocklands Barbeque and Grilling Company, Hill Country Barbecue Market

Readers Say: “So delicious.”

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DCity Smokehouse 1540 North Capitol St. NW, (202) 733-1919, dcitysmokehouse.com

Best BBQ

2801 8th St, NE

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Best BAR WIth gAmes

Runners-Up: Penn Social, H Street Country Club

BGR The Burger Joint Multiple Locations, bgrtheburgerjoint.com

JR Robinson kitchencray.com/meet-chef-jr

Bullfrog Bagels 1341 H St. NE, (202) 494-2609, bullfrogbagels.com

Board Room 1737 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 518-7666, boardroomdc.com

Best BuRgeR

G al

W c acti

The Java Shack 2507 N. Franklin Road, Arlington, (703) 527-9556, javashack.com Readers Say: “This place is money. The hidden gem of the D.C. metro.” Runners-Up: Compass Coffee, Tryst

Best cRABcAKe

Hank’s Oyster Bar Multiple Locations, hanksoysterbar.com Readers Say: “Hands Down!!” Runners-Up: Blue Duck Tavern, Rappahannock Oyster Bar

Best cRAFt BeeR selectION

Best Gay Bar/Club, Readers’ Pick: Nellie’s Sports Bar

ChurchKey 1337 14th St. NW, (202) 567-2576, churchkeydc.com

Best FRIeD chIcKeN

Blue 44 Restaurant and Bar 5507 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 362-2583, blue44dc.com Readers Say: “There is a reason some people leave a $2,000 tip!

Readers Say: “I mean duh.” Runners-Up: Meridian Pint, City Tap House

Runners-Up: The Chickery, Little Red Fox

Best cuPcAKe

Best gAy BAR/cluB

Baked & Wired 1052 Thomas Jefferson St. NW, (703) 663-8727, bakedandwired.com

Nellie’s Sports Bar 900 U St. NW, (202) 332-6355, nelliessportsbar.com

Readers Say: “I time my long training runs to finish here so that I can celebrate running 10 miles with a Flapjack Cupcake topped with maple bacon.”

Runners-Up: Town Danceboutique, Number Nine

Best gelAtO

Dolcezza Gelato Multiple Locations, dolcezzagelato.com

Runners-Up: Georgetown Cupcake, Red Velvet Cupcakery

Best DIstIlleRy

Readers Say: “Vero gelato!! The best!”

New Columbia Distillers 1832 Fenwick St. NE, (202) 733-1710, greenhatgin.com

Runners-Up: Pitango Gelato, Dolci Gelati

Best gluteN-FRee meNu

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com

Readers Say: “I never liked gin until I got my hands on the Green Hat.” Runners-Up: One Eight Distilling, Jos. A. Magnus & Co.

Runners-Up: Rise Bakery, Sweetgreen

Best DIve BAR

Best hANgOveR BReAKFAst

The Pug 1234 H St. NE, (202) 555-1212, thepugdc.com

Ted’s Bulletin Multiple Locations, tedsbulletin.com

Runners-Up: Showtime Lounge, The Raven Grill

Readers Say: “The Ted’s Burgh is my go-to hangover burger. Extra slaw.”

Best DOughNuts

Runners-Up: The Diner, Florida Avenue Grill

District Doughnut 749 8th St. SE, (202) 750-1955, districtdoughnut.com

Best hAPPy hOuR

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com

Readers Say: “The creativity of their donuts is matched by great taste. Everyone who works there is an added benefit.” Runners-Up: Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken, Sugar Shack Donuts

Best DOWNtOWN luNch

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com Runners-Up: Taylor Gourmet, Founding Farmers

Best ethIOPIAN RestAuRANt

Ethiopic Restaurant 401 H St. NE, (202) 675-2066, ethiopicrestaurant.com Readers Say: “Great food, best services, and best ambiance.”

Readers Say: “Cannot get better than the best.” Runners-Up: DC Reynolds, Beuchert’s Saloon

Best FAlAFel

Best FOOD BlOg

Amsterdam Falafelshop Multiple Locations, falafelshop.com

Bitches Who Brunch bitcheswhobrunch.com

Readers Say: “There is never a reason not to have Amsterdam Falafel.”

the answers!”

Runners-Up: Micho’s Lebanese Grill, Cava Grill

Readers Say: “These bitches got all Runners-Up: DCFoodPorn, In a DC Minute

Best Ice cReAm shOP

Ice Cream Jubilee 301 Water St. SE, (202) 863-0727, icecreamjubilee.com Readers Say: “I went on a first date here in October. Let’s just say the wedding is in June!!!” Runners-Up: Thomas Sweet, Dolcezza Gelato

Best FAst cAsuAl DININg

Best FOOD tRucK

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com

Crepe Amour @crepelovetruck, (703) 537-0083, crepeamour.com

Best INDIAN RestAuRANt

Readers Say: “Man this truck is outstanding. The crepes are truly delicious.”

Readers Say: “Astonishingly good. Go for the set menu at lunch or before dinner if you can.”

Runners-Up: Peruvian Brothers, Arepa Zone

Runners-Up: Indique, Spice 6

Runners-Up: Zenebech Restaurant, Dukem

Readers Say: “Quality and service are great. Price point very reasonable. Best in its class by far.”

Ethiopian Restaurant

Runners-Up: Rito Loco, Cava Grill

Rasika Multiple Locations, rasikarestaurant.com

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FOOD & DRINK Best IRIsh PuB

The Dubliner 4 F St. NW, (202) 737-3773, dublinerdc.com

Best BBQ, Readers Pick: DCity Smokehouse

Readers Say: “Delicious food, beverages, and Irish music.” Runners-Up: Fadó Irish Pub, Nanny O’Briens

Best ItAlIAN RestAuRANt

Lavagna 539 8th St. SE, (202) 546-5006, lavagnadc.com Readers Say: “Outstanding dinner and brunch. Always feel the personalized service, too.” Runners-Up: Al Crostino, Filomena Ristorante

Best JAPANese

Daikaya 705 6th St. NW, (202) 589-1600, daikaya.com Readers Say: “Inventive, creative food, and premium sake on tap!” Runners-Up: Izakaya Seki, Sushi Taro

Best KABOB

SKWR Kabobline 1400 K St. NW, (202) 682-1717, skwr.com Runners-Up: Moby Dick House of Kabob, Kabob Palace

Best KID-FRIeNDly RestAuRANt

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com

Runners-Up: Ted’s Bulletin, Brookland’s Finest Bar & Kitchen

Best KOReAN

Mandu Multiple Locations, mandudc.com Readers Say: “Korean BBQ to die for.” Runners-Up: Honey Pig Korean BBQ, TaKorean

Best lAte-NIght eAts

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com

Readers Say: “Because I want a pizza with 39-day aged pepperoni at 3 a.m.” Runners-Up: Taylor Gourmet, Amsterdam Falafelshop

Best lAtIN AmeRIcAN RestAuRANt

Cuba de Ayer Restaurant 15446 Old Columbia Pike, Burtonsville, Md., (301) 476-9622, cubadeayerrestaurant.net Readers Say: “Being from Cuba, I can honestly say that the food is tremendous. It’s like I’m eating at my mother’s house!” Runners-Up: Esencias Panameñas Restaurant & Catering, Las Canteras

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Best Whiskey Selection, Readers’ Pick: Jack Rose Dining Saloon

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noW WE’RE opEn lAtE All tHE WAy ‘til 5 Am (FRi & sAt)

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FOOD & DRINK Best lOcAl BReWeRy

Best Distillery, Readers’ Pick: New Columbia Distillers

Fair Winds Brewing Company 7000 Newington Road, Lorton, Va., (703) 372-2001, fairwindsbrewing.com Readers Say: “Casey and his team make some of the best beer I’ve ever tasted! Their Belgian ales are just as good as the ones in Europe!” Runners-Up: Port City Brewing Company, 3 Stars Brewing Company

Best mAcARON

Olivia Macaron 3222 M St. NW, (202) 965-1000, oliviamacaron.com Readers Say: “Best macaron EVER EVER. Absolutely the best.” Runners-Up: The Sweet Lobby, Paul Bakery & Café

Best mARgARItA

Taqueria el Poblano Multiple Locations, taqueriapoblano.com Readers Say: “Rum-Rita is responsible for three lovely kids.” Runners-Up: Oyamel Cocina Mexicana, El Centro D.F.

Best mIDDle eAsteRN RestAuRANt (tIe)

Lebanese Taverna Cafe Multiple Locations, lebanesetaverna.com Readers Say: “Great food, friendly service. Treat you like family.”

Zaytinya 701 9th St. NW, (202) 638-0800 zaytinya.com Runners-Up: Mama Ayesha’s

Best mIxOlOgIst

Jonathan Stoll 1101 K St. NW, (202) 408-1717, brasseriebeck.com Readers Say: “Always on his game.” Runners-Up: DMVInferno, Olga Barber

Best mODeRN AmeRIcAN RestAuRANt

Rose’s Luxury 717 8th St. SE, (202) 580-8889, rosesluxury.com Runners-Up: Mason Social, Garrison

Best mussels

Granville Moore’s 1238 H St. NE, (202) 399-2546, granvillemoores.com Readers Say: “I don’t know if anybody else even bothers competing in this category, and if they do, they shouldn’t.” Runners-Up: St. Arnold’s Mussel Bar, Belga Café

Best NeIghBORhOOD BAR

Best NeW RestAuRANt

Best PIe

The Blaguard 2003 18th St. NW, (202) 232-9005, blaguarddc.com

The Dabney 122 Blagden Alley NW, (202) 450-1015, thedabney.com

Dangerously Delicious Pies Multiple Locations , dangerouspiesdc.com

Readers Say: “The Blag is a neighborhood staple. Only bar I go to at this point.” Runners-Up: Boundary Stone Public House, Kilroy’s

Best NeW BAR

Runners-Up: Garrison, Bad Saint

Best PhO

Readers Say: “It’s only truly dangerous if you work there!” Runners-Up: Little Red Fox, Whisked!

Pho 14 Multiple Locations, dcpho14.com

Best PIzzA

Readers Say: “A very classy establishment without the high-priced food and drinks.”

Readers Say: “They have a vegetarian option.”

Readers Say: “I feel like I’m dining in Italy while eating at the restaurant.”

Runners-Up: The Twisted Horn, Trade

Runners-Up: Pho 75, Pho Viet

Runners-Up: &pizza, Ledo Pizza

The Pub & The People 1648 North Capitol St. NW, (202) 796-5820, thepubandthepeople.com

14 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Faccia Luna Multiple Locations, faccialuna.com

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 15

FOOD & DRINK Best PlAce tO hAve DINNeR WIth lIve musIc

The Dubliner 4 F St. NW, (202) 737-3773, dublinerdc.com

Rose’s Luxury 717 8th St. SE, (202) 580-8889, rosesluxury.com

Nellie’s Sports Bar 900 U St. NW, (202) 332-6355, nelliessportsbar.com Readers Say: “The fact they remember to put their patrons’ name on the Nellie’s board every year for their birthday shows their commitment to clients.”

Runners-Up: The Park at Fourteenth, The Red Hen

Best RestAuRANt WheN sOmeONe else PAys

Best RestAuRANt WheN yOu PAy

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com

Best Asian Restaurant, Readers’ Pick: Thip Khao Best seAFOOD

Hank’s Oyster Bar Multiple Locations, hanksoysterbar.com Readers Say: “Mmmmmmm.”

Readers Say: “Simply can’t beat the price. Very reasonable given the quality.”

Runners-Up: Fiola Mare, District Fishwife

Runners-Up: The Chickery, Carluccio’s

The Wonderland Ballroom 1101 Kenyon St. NW, (202) 232-5263, thewonderlandballroom.com

Best RestAuRANt WIth A vIeW

Fiola Mare 3050 K St. NW, Suite 101, (202) 628-0065, fiolamaredc.com Readers Say: “Great view of Georgetown harbor to go with great food.” Runners-Up: POV, Sequoia

Best RestAuRANt WIth DelIveRy

Beau Thai Multiple Locations, beauthaidc.com Runners-Up: Meiwah; Nooshi, Toki Underground (tie)

Best ROOFtOP BAR

POV 515 15th St. NW, (202) 661-2419, povrooftop.com Runners-Up: Roofers Union, 1905

Best sANDWIch

Taylor Gourmet Multiple Locations, taylorgourmet.com Readers Say: “No brainer.” Runners-Up: Earl’s Sandwiches, Sundevich

Pho 14 Multiple Locations, dcpho14.com

Best sPORts BAR

Readers Say: “Love the food, atmosphere, service, and lack of pretense.”

Runners-Up: Fiola Mare, Komi

The Spice Suite 6902 4th St. NW, (202) 506-3436, thespicesuite.com Runners-Up: Bazaar Spices, Calabash Tea & Tonic

Best RestAuRANt

Readers Say: “Always great.”

Best vIetNAmese

Readers Say: “There is no competition. The best has arrived.”

Runners-Up: The Park at Fourteenth, The Hamilton

Le Diplomate 1601 14th St. NW, (202) 332-3333, lediplomatedc.com

Best sPIce shOP

Best sINgles BAR

Runners-Up: Nellie’s Sports Bar; Olive Lounge, The Park at Fourteenth (tie)

Best slIce OF PIzzA

Wiseguy NY Pizza Multiple Locations, wiseguynypizza.com Readers Say: “Best New York-style pizza outside of New York.” Runners-Up: Pete’s New Haven Style Apizza, Duccini’s

Best smAll PlAtes

Jaleo Multiple Locations, jaleo.com Readers Say: “Lots of choices and vegetarian options.” Runners-Up: Cava Grill, Zaytinya

Best sOul FOOD

Oohh’s and Aahh’s 1005 U St. NW, (202) 667-7142, oohhsnaahhs.com Readers Say: “I wish I could eat this every day without having to worry about the increased risk of a heart attack.” Runners-Up: Florida Avenue Grill, Woodlands Vegan Bistro

16 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Runners-Up: Pho Viet, Nam Viet

Best WhIsKey selectION

Jack Rose Dining Saloon 2007 18th St. NW, (202) 588-7388, jackrosediningsaloon.com Readers Say: “I never saw so many different types of whiskey in my life.”

Runners-Up: Mason Social, Lou’s City Bar

Runners-Up: The Dubliner, Barrel

Best steAKhOuse

Best WINe BAR

Ray’s The Steaks 2300 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, (703) 841-7297, raysthesteaks.com

The Pursuit Wine Bar 1421 H St. NE, (202) 758-2139, thepursuitwinebar.com

Readers Say: “All the Rays know what they’re doing, and they do it with value and true customer service.” Runners-Up: The Classics, Morton’s The Steakhouse

Best tAteR tOts

Sticky Rice 1224 H St. NE, (202) 397-7655, stickyricedc.com Readers Say: “No idea who came up with the idea to eat tater tots with sushi, but they’re a genius.” Runners-Up: Tonic Restaurant, Satellite Room

Best thAI RestAuRANt

Beau Thai Multiple Locations, beauthaidc.com Readers Say: “I love this place!! A must when in D.C.!! Five stars all the way.” Runners-Up: Thai X-ing, Little Serow

Best tRIvIA BAR

Nellie’s Sports Bar 900 U St. NW, (202) 332-6355, nelliessportsbar.com Runners-Up: Nanny O’Briens, JR’s Bar

Best vegAN/vegetARIAN RestAuRANt

&pizza Mutiple Locations andpizza.com Runners-Up: Soupergirl, Chaia

Readers Say: “The Pursuit is just over a year old, but it’s gotten better with age.” Runners-Up: Olney Winery, Flight Wine Bar

Best WINe lIst

Flight Wine Bar 777 6th St. NW, (202) 864-6445, flightdc.com Readers Say: “Esoteric and yummy wines. You can get whatever you are in the mood for, and the staff is great!” Runners-Up: Proof, The Red Hen

Best WINgs

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Readers Say: “Jerk wings are the bomb.com.” Runners-Up: Duffy’s Irish Pub, Boundary Stone Public House

Best FROzeN yOguRt/smOOthIe

South Block Multiple Locations, southblockjuice.com Readers Say: “Amazing smoothies!” Runners-Up: Bright Greens Smoothie Shakers, Mr. Yogato

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 17

Staff Picks FOOD & DRINK

Best Brunch

Best Coffee Shop Windows Through Which to Watch the World Pass By, Staff Pick: Room 11

Duke’s Grocery

1513 17th St. NW, (202) 733-5623, dukesgrocery.com

Brunch should be about indulgence: You’re drinking at 11 a.m., after all! So skip those unsatisfying small plate spots and the endless iterations of eggs Benedict. Duke’s Grocery understands that a hangover deserves a plate as big as your face. The brunchie burger is so monstrous that it’s physically impossible to eat it and not have grease cover your nose, chin, and lap. The epic beef patties are topped with gouda, dill pickles, grilled onions, garlic mayo, greens, and sweet chili sauce with optional extras like a runny egg, applewood bacon, avocado, and chicken liver pate. Equally generous is the proper English brekkie with thick slabs of toast buried under a slathering of baked beans, two over-easy eggs, and bacon plus multiple types of sausage, braised mushrooms, and roasted tomatoes on the side. If you still don’t feel like you’re living it up, order the bottomless bloody marys for only $15. —Jessica Sidman

Best Pop-Tart Not Made by a Guy Named Ted Spring Mill Bread Company

Multiple locations, springmillbread.com

You’ve probably eaten the pop-tarts at Ted’s Bulletin. (Full disclosure: I’ve gorged on too many to count.) But if you’re looking to switch up your toaster-treat routine, try the beauties at Spring Mill Bread Company. Rather than using a simple sweet crust to pocket the jam, they employ two layers of butter-rich shortbread. These sandwich a layer of slightly tart blackberry, rich raspberry, or sweet strawberry preserves. Finished off with racing stripes of white icing and a rainbow of nonpareils, they’re worthy of a quick, envy-inducing Instagram before you gobble them up. The bakery often sells out, so go early if you don’t want to walk —Nevin Martell away disappointed.

Best Coffee Shop Windows Through Which to Watch the World Pass By Room 11

3234 11th St. NW, (202) 332-3234, room11dc.com

The cafe/bakery half of Room 11 glows with natural light. A handful of countertop stools perch right against the pop-out windows, and even the chairs set furthest back still afford pretty good views of the activity on 11th Street NW. Wherever you sit, snag a cup of Four Barrel coffee. Room 11’s candy-

18 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

red mugs are the perfect accompaniment for doing nothing more than gazing glassy-eyed into the distance. Should sitting and contemplating the universe start to make you hungry, the in-house bakery offers buttermilk biscuits and scones in eclectic flavor combinations like pineapple anise. —Emily Walz

Best Sandwich Muffaletta at Straw Stick & Brick Delicatessen 5111 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 726-0102, ssbdeli.com

Straw Stick & Brick’s interpretation of this salty New Orleans classic includes enough

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 19

FOOD & DRINK meat to make you sweat. But don’t mistake the tall, layered concoction for a Dagwood. The refined offering starts with the traditional cold cuts, cheese, and olive mix, but diverges somewhat from the original. Soppressata, capicola, and mortadella possess more flavor and less oil than anything you’d find at a supermarket deli, and Swiss cheese (as opposed to provolone) provides a pleasant nuttiness. Acid comes from perfectly pickled red onions and a swipe of mustard, while homemade olive salad gives the sandwich an extra dose of umami. A soft ciabatta roll, texturally similar to traditional muffaletta bread but without the sesame seeds, encloses everything in a tight bundle. Most importantly, this sandwich tastes just as good whether you eat it immediately in store or take it on a road trip and snack —Caroline Jones on it hours later.

Best Fried Chicken Sandwich OG at Crisp Kitchen + Bar

1837 First St. NW, (202) 853-9115, crispdc.com

Fried chicken sandwiches are everywhere these days. Aside from chains like Chickfil-A and Shake Shack, just about every Southern-style restaurant in D.C. seems to have one on the menu. But here’s the problem, says Crisp Kitchen + Bar’s Alex McCoy: A lot of the sandwiches are pretty gimmicky. (Astro Doughnuts, for example, serves one on a doughnut with Old Bay seasoning.) McCoy says there’s no need for these distractions. “It’s just fried chicken, and it’s something everyone loves.” Crisp’s spicy Nashville hot chicken–inspired sandwich is topped with shredded lettuce, onions, pickled vegetables, and garlic mayonnaise. Really, the only thing gimmicky about this sandwich is its name. McCoy calls his sandwich the “OG” ( as in “original gangster”). And, as he explains it, “It’s what every neighborhood needs: an affordable, fried chicken sandwich that’s no —Tim Ebner fuss.” Amen.

Best Cafe for Any Meal Little Red Fox

5035 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 248-6346, littleredfoxdc.com

Over the course of a day, I can experience any number of food cravings—from a latte and a bagel on a weekend morning to a midday sandwich to a fresh dinner served with cold beer. One cafe can fulfill all of them. Little Red Fox is equal parts coffee shop, lunch counter, market, and place to buy a prepared dinner. You can even grab a cookie, buy a hostess gift, and fill growlers with kombucha or craft beer. I’m not saying you should camp out there all day, but with its rotating specials, friendly staff, and tall stack of reading materials, you certainly could. —Caroline Jones

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Best Sandwich, Staff Pick: Muffaletta at Straw Stick & Brick Delicatessen

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 21

FOOD & DRINK Best Food Truck

Best Fried Chicken Sandwich, Staff Pick: OG at Crisp Kitchen + Bar

Ball or Nothing

twitter.com/theballtruck

D.C.’s best food truck is, of all things, meatball themed. The humble meatball is an unexciting food, but Ball or Nothing is a very exciting food truck. That’s because despite the truck’s name, the meatballs are not the only star here. Each meal includes two sides and three meatballs, but the sides are so substantial that the platter ends up being about one-third meatball. And the rotating, seasonal sides are where Ball or Nothing stands out. It’s hard to go wrong, but try the mascarpone polenta, the salad with beets and goat cheese, or the roasted sweet potatoes. As for those titular balls of meat, the options are “classic” (beef), chicken (lately: barbecue or blue-cheese-and-apple), and veggie or vegan (a mash of vegetables including broccoli, spinach, carrots, cauliflower, and corn). The meatballs are flavorful, but most importantly, they ensure a filling lunch no matter which sides you get. They’re optimal for the truck format, too: Meatballs don’t need to be made to order to taste fresh. Even at busy times, it takes just a few minutes to get your food, and Ball or Nothing also holds up well over repeat visits. There’s enough variety to accommodate dreary days when you need comfort food (classic meatballs, mac and cheese, sweet potatoes) and summer days when you want something light and healthy (vegetarian balls, Brussels sprouts with walnuts, beet and goat cheese salad). —Zach Rausnitz

Best Fish Smokery Ivy City Smokehouse

1356 Okie St. NE, (202) 529-3300, ivycitysmokehouse.com

Whether you stick to hot takes or think pieces, you’ve already read how Ivy City is changing. Among the distilleries and Nike store, one recent addition to the neighborhood is the Ivy City Smokehouse, a retail storefront and bar/restaurant from ProFish, a wholesaler who’s been in the neighborhood for nearly 30 years. Unrelentingly customer-focused and thoroughly knowledgeable on all matters piscine, the Smokehouse mongers fish in a manner that’s both au courant and deeply old school. Next time your brunch guests ask if your scrumptious salmon is locally smoked, you can proudly tell them it’s from Ivy City. —Brian McEntee

Best Place To Get a Craft Beer And Matzo Ball Soup Carving Room

When Carving Room first opened a few years ago, I called it the “bar/deli,” which is actually an amazing combination. Who doesn’t love roast beef on weck with their peppercorn

Charles Steck

300 Massachusetts Ave. NW, (202) 525-2116, carvingroom.com

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THANKS FOR VOTING US AMONG THE BEST OF DC!

Flavor. Health. Soul.

Explore the deepest selection of hard-to-find spices, herbs, botanicals, specialty flours and ancient grains

BAZ AAR S PICES FLAVOR. HEALTH. SOUL.

Locations: Union Market, NE DC in Atlantic Plumbing, NW DC www.bazaarspices.com

Winner of the Best Pizza in 2015 & 2016 Because

Since 1989

Pizzeria

2909 Wilson Blvd • Arlington, VA • 2 blocks from the Clarendon Metro • 703-276-3099

823 South Washington St. • Alexandria, VA •703-838-5998 • 1229 South Atherton St. • State College, PA • 814-234-9000

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 23

12th St. NE

H Street “Best Mussels” FESTIVAL 2015

FESTIVAL 2015

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Thank you for all the votes! GRANVILLE MOORE’s

A Gastropub with a Healthy Belgian Fetish

1238 H Street NE • 202-399-2546 www.granvillemoores.com

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TA washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 25

FOOD & DRINK saison? While DGS Delicatessen in Dupont is also a great place to drink craft beer and eat matzo ball soup, Carving Room offers more local beers plus a delicious Israeli salad and a “carving board” option, which includes three piles of different deli meats, rye bread, and several unique condiments (like tomato jam and a bacon-onion compote). Perhaps most important of all, the Carving Room doesn’t face Massachusetts Avenue traffic, so the atmosphere is always calm and neighborly, even on a Saturday night. —Elena Goukassian

up and its Szechuan peppercorn heat mingled with the tanginess of some pickled cabbage at the bottom of the bowl. The dish is accompanied by slices of bread, which might seem a little carb-heavy, but you’ll want to use it to —Jessica Sidman sop up every last bit.

Best Family-Style Dish

Whether it comes from a packet or a noodle bar, ramen is usually a humble food of the people. But Yona’s chef-owner Jonah Kim shows it can also be a luxurious splurge. His pricey but worth-every-penny king crab ramen starts with a broth built with bits and pieces of pig, shiitake mushrooms, kombu (kelp), bonito flakes, and crab offal. To create the bowl, Kim covers a nest of noodles with the umami-rich broth, slim-cut rounds of negi (scallion-like Welsh onions), chunks of crab, and a plug of uni-fortified butter,

Taiwanese Fried Chicken at Maketto

1351 H St. NE, (202) 838-9972, maketto1351.com

Big plates are the new small plates, and there’s no better way to go splitsies than with Maketto’s Taiwanese fried chicken. The breading, which has the kind of crunch that could be used as a commercial sound effect, covers tender, boneless breast meat. A sprinkling of cilantro and peppers provide a pop of color. But really, this dish is all about the sweet syr-

Best Reason to Spend $26 on a Bowl of Ramen Yona

4000 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, (703) 465-1100, yonava.com

Best Veggie Burger, Staff Pick: Beefsteak

BEST RESTAuRANT

Little Serow 1511 17th St. NW, littleserow.com

When Little Serow opened in 2011, its funky, sour, spicy Southeast Asian flavors seemed novel to D.C.’s dining scene—especially from a white guy who runs a Mediterranean fine dining destination. Nowadays, variations of those pungent flavors are all over the place: Thai and Vietnamese at Doi Moi, Laotian at Thip Khao, Cambodian and Taiwanese at Maketto, Filipino at Bad Saint. It’s safe to say Little Serow helped make cuisines once relegated to the suburbs (or half a world away) trendy and mainstream. But even with the range of Southeast Asian options in the District today, Little Serow still manages to outshine them all. In fact, anytime I want to wow an out-of-town visitor or just indulge myself, chef Johnny Monis’ restaurant tops the list. Yes, people still line up an hour before the 5:30 p.m. opening to secure a seat in the noreservations eatery. And yes, a seven-course, family-style menu still awaits you in the lowlit, seagreen-walled concrete basement dining room. If you haven’t been recently, the price has increased from $45 to $49 per person, but it’s still one of the best values in town. 26 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

No matter how many times I go, I still manage to find delight in the beautiful basket of fresh greens, including watermelon radishes, Thai basil, and shiso leaves, that accompany the entire meal along with a basket of sticky rice. The garden bounty is perfect for scooping up spiced bits of ground pork and pork blood showered in crispy shallots. A pad of sticky rice helps temper the spiciness of a crispy tofu dish with peanuts, onions, and a generous helping of cilantro. (Be warned: No substitutions are allowed.) The menu has the range of a church organ when it comes to spiciness—from subtle white noise heat to a slow, crescendoing burn that makes your eyes water. While drinks criss-cross the globe from German white wine to Thai Singha lager on ice, I prefer a bottle of French Normandy cider whose sweetness helps counteract the fire. And then, of course, there are the pork ribs. Glossed in a tangy, sweet sauce with a sprinkling of dill and shallots, the smoked meat practically slides off the bone. It’s stayed on the menu for four and a half years, and it remains a dish with no rival in D.C. —Jessica Sidman

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A TA S T E O F V I E T N A M I N T H E D I S T R I C T. . . Pho 14 ranked top 10 in the nation for Best Eats for the buck” - Forbes, 2011

THANKS FOR VOTING FOR US! A family-owned restaurant, the inspiration of Pho 14 came thanks to our Mom, who provided all of our traditional recipes. Come visit our three locations and meet the rest of our family. Too shy to dine with us? No problem! You can also order for delivery or pick-up, just call one of our locations near you. Online ordering and delivery available • 1436 Park Rd, NW ~ 202-986-2326 • 1769 Columbia Rd, NW ~ 202-986-2288 • 4201 Connecticut Ave, NW ~ 202-686-6275 • www.dcpho14.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 27

FOOD & DRINK Best Fish Smokery, Staff Pick: Ivy City Smokehouse

which slowly releases more fat and flavor as —Nevin Martell you slurp away.

Best Pizzeria You’re Probably Not Eating At Frankly…Pizza!

10417 Armory Ave., Kensington, Md., (301) 832-1065, franklypizza.com

Sorry, city dwellers, but you have to hop into a car or ride a MARC train if you want to try some of the greatest ’za in the area. Pizzaiolo

and owner Frank Linn of Frankly…Pizza! in Kensington, Md., is turning out pies that feature bouncy, char-bubbled crust similar to the Neapolitan tradition. However, he tops them like a New Yorker with a slightly sweet red sauce and plenty of mozz, plus a little Pecorino Romano. His specialty rounds are particularly swoon-worthy. One with house-cured guanciale, mushrooms, and porcini salt is a rich, umami bomb of gluttonous delight— though you can’t go wrong with the classic —Nevin Martell pepperoni either.

28 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Vegetarian Restaurant for Non-Vegetarians Chaia

3207 Grace St. NW, (202) 333-5222, chaiadc.com

The District gained an antidote to eating questionable carnitas at Chipotle when Chaia opened in Georgetown this past fall. The vegetarian “farm-to-taco” joint from Suzanne Simon and Bettina Stern got its start

at area farmers markets and is now pleasing veg heads and carnivores alike without serving a single shred of meat. When entering the tranquil space, the first thing you’ll notice is the intoxicating smell of homemade tortillas kissing the griddle. The tacos, commonly ordered by the trio, feature smoky, savory vegetables that get a lot of TLC. Some highlights include creamy kale and potato with pepper jack and poblano crema or winter squash with caramelized onion, ricotta salata, and —Laura Hayes chipotle yogurt.

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AWARDS & ACCOLADES

» Best New Business, Shaw 2015 » Best Food Truck in DC, Washington City Paper 2015 » First & Only Food Truck in the USA to be REAL certified, U.S. Healthful Food Council » Outstanding Customer Service, TasteUSA DC, 2014 » Best Burrito in DC, DCist, 2014 » Best Food Truck in DC, Runner Up, Washington City Paper, 2014 » Best Food Truck in DC, Washington City Paper, 2013 » #3 Coolest Food Truck in America, Forbes Magazine, 2013 » #32 Best Food Truck in America, The Vivant, 2013 » People’s Choice Award, Taste of Two Cities, 2013

TRY OUR NEW MENU ITEMS! Cajun grilled shrimp tacos • Caribbean fish tacos • Carne asada ritos Quinoa/rice bowls • Vegetarian & gluten free options

Mon - Thu 9am - 11pm, Fri 9am-4am, Sat 10am - 4am, Sun 10am- 9am

606 Florida Ave NW, Washington DC 20001

202.836.4270 catering at www.ritoloco.com/catering/

www.RitoLoco.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 29

FOOD & DRINK Best Veggie Burger

Best Restaurant I Wanted to Hate but Couldn’t Help but Love, Staff Pick: Alfie’s

Beefsteak

Multiple locations, beefsteakveggies.com

Trust José Andrés to drastically rethink what a meat-free burger should be at his veg-obsessed fast-casual concept Beefsteak. Instead of making a patty out of produce, he simply uses a generous slice of beet marinated in red wine vinegar. (Tomato is subbed in when it’s in season.) The surprisingly substantial disc comes on a bouncy brioche bun with a generous swipe of slightly spicy vegan chipotle mayo, pickled red onions, and sprouts I could do without (add avocado instead). Though the flavors are drastically different, it feels like you’re chomping into a quarter pound—Nevin Martell er—minus the guilt.

Best Way to Impress a Vegan Date Sushiko

5455 Wisconsin Ave., Chevy Chase, (301) 961-1644, sushikorestaurants.com

It might seem like a contradiction of terms to take a vegan to a sushi restaurant for a special occasion. But trust me. Sushiko’s executive chefs, brothers Handry and Piter Tjan, have created a nine-course omakase tasting menu ($80 per person, not including tax and tip) that doesn’t rely on a single piece of unagi nigiri or ribbon of otoro. Instead, the pair crafts a rotating selection of animal-free dishes, which change based on their whim and the season. Super silky housemade tofu topped off with glistening pearls of black seaweed “caviar,” Brussels sprouts dressed up with ginger caramel, and a colorful array of vegetable sushi are all potential highlights. —Nevin Martell

Best Restaurant I Wanted to Hate but Couldn’t Help But Love Alfie’s

3301 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 853-3901, alfiesdc.com

When Mothership closed, a sad sigh could be heard throughout Park View and southern Petworth. True, the service was often spotty, but it was a neighborhood restaurant in an area of town aching for more casual sit-down spots. For months, we walked past its drawn bamboo blinds and window sill menagerie of empty flower pots, counting the dead flies in their final resting places just behind the glass. Please, we murmured in silent supplication, don’t put some shitass chain in here. Please don’t burden this neighborhood with the hip albatross of an outrageously expensive small plates concept with a line down the block. Don’t fuck us, restaurant karma! It was with great trepidation that we heard the news that a white dude (chef Alex McCoy) would be open-

ing a Southeast Asian “expat” bar/restaurant. I was ready to be pissed, but then I ate there—reluctantly for the first time—because it’s a block from my house. I was utterly charmed: The bartenders are friendly and awesome, I see my neighbors, I don’t go broke eating there, the food is sublimely good and authentically Northern Thai. (The only thing “expat,” as far as I can tell, is a burger on the regular menu and a full English served at brunch.) Plus, there’s a strong, cheap late-night happy hour. Although McCoy initially planned to move Alfie’s to a permanent location at 845 Upshur St. NW, he’s now considering keeping it in place and opening a different concept in Petworth. Either way, Alfie’s will stay in Park View until —Emily Q. Hazzard at least September.

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Best Indian Restaurant That Doesn’t Cost as Much as Rasika Indigo

243 K St. NE, (202) 544-4777, facebook.com/indigo.dc.5

If my wallet could bear it, I would eat Rasika’s palak chaat every day. But until I can afford this life of yogurt and fried spinach, there’s Indigo, the casual Indian restaurant in NoMa that offers gobs of great Indian food on the (comparatively) cheap. The butter chicken is good; the spicy chicken curry is even better. The secret is out for the restaurant’s neighbors, who mob Indigo’s patio on weekends, making phonedin orders the best option. However long you —Will Sommer have to wait, it’s a steal.

Best Neighborhood Restaurant That’s Actually a Neighborhood Restaurant Nido

2214 Rhode Island Ave. NE, (202) 627-2815, nido-dc.com

Pretty much every restaurant wants to tout itself as a “neighborhood restaurant.” (It’s only a matter of time before McDonald’s tries to co-opt the term, like it did with “artisan.”) But Nido in Woodridge is truly deserving of the distinction. Neighbors seem fiercely proud of the bright Mediterranean joint whose name means “nest” in Italian and Spanish. A good place to start is with a vermouth cocktail and

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FOOD & DRINK a “torpedo board,” which gives you a sampling of pickles, meats, olives, and best of all, the housemade whole milk ricotta. Pastas and vegetables are also highlights, particularly the sweet and spicy roasted cauliflower with harissa, lemon yogurt, and golden raisins. Were it located on buzzy 14th Street NW, it might be mobbed with scenesters. But given that it’s more than a mile from a Metro station, it’s a relaxed place to escape for the evening. Or as the description on the menu simply calls it, “a —Jessica Sidman place to sit down.”

Best Get-Out-of-aDining-Rut Dinner Bedouin Tent at Compass Rose

1346 T St. NW, (202) 506-4765, compassrosedc.com

Some things in life are supremely predictable, like screaming on a roller coaster or crying during Jerry Maguire. Another is your jaw dropping when a server uncaps a lamb neck tagine and all the aromas of Morocco hit you. The dish is part of a family-style feast held on a back porch turned Bedouin tent at Compass Rose. Owner Rose Previte’s world travels inspired the cozy den draped in scarves that begs to be an Instagram backdrop. A menu representing specific countries like Morocco or Puerto Rico is offered Tuesdays through Thursdays at $70 per person (with optional $30 drink pairings), while a “Tour of the World” menu is served Fridays through Mondays for $60 per person. The latter pulls from

the restaurant’s regular menu, but comes with surprises. “By the end, the ‘tour’ covers items from about 20 different countries,” Previte says. Groups of six to eight people can make reservations online. —Laura Hayes

Best Restaurant for People Who’ve Already Been Everywhere Minibar

855 E St. NW, (202) 393-0812, minibarbyjoseandres.com

If you’re lucky enough to dine out often, it’s easy to become jaded. But if it’s truly surprises and whimsy you’re looking for, consider an investment in Minibar. (At $275 per person plus alcoholic drink pairings starting at $95, it’s not a small one.) The 12-seat José Andrés restaurant is all about edible magic. Leaves served in an actual section of rain gutter? One is made of melt-in-your mouth black garlic, while the other is a parmesan cracker. Those things that look like purple and white jelly beans? They’re capsulated liquid gnocchi in an Iberico ham broth. Is that a caterpillar crawling on the plant in front of me? Nope, dessert. From often changing dishes like clear fusilli “noodles” injected with pesto to dehydrated asparagus dipped in white chocolate, the “aha!” moments go on. A Simpsons-themed Russian nesting doll is presented at the end of the meal. Buried inside, you’ll find the biggest surprise: —Jessica Sidman the check.

Best Food Truck, Staff Pick: Ball or Nothing

BEST NEW RESTAuRANT

Tail Up Goat 1827 Adams Mill Road NW, (202) 986-9600, tailupgoat.com

When your resume includes top dining destinations like Komi and Little Serow, it can be hard to escape the shadow of your former employer. (That’s not to say these affiliations don’t have their perks.) But I have no doubt that the owners of Tail Up Goat—Bill Jensen, Jon Sybert, and Jill Tyler—won’t be referred to as simply “alums of” for long. In a few short months, their Mediterranean-inspired Adams Morgan restaurant has built an identity deserving a spotlight of its own. Carbs tend to be chef Sybert’s strong suit. The kitchen makes its own breads and pastas—but none exactly like you’ve had them before. A seaweed sourdough infused with wakame is paired with ciccioli (like a pork belly rillette) and pickled fennel stem, while a charred chocolate rye comes with a salt-crusted sardine and a pickled persimmon. In both cases, the bread isn’t merely a vehicle for its toppings, but a crunchy, cakey treat in itself. Among the fresh pastas, the smoked rutabaga ravioli, laid out like a flower in a brightgreen basil-mint pesto, is a must-try. Each bite comes with a burst of creamy sweetness from the rutabaga, and then a counterpunch of bitterness and crunch from savory 32 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

gingerbread crumbs sprinkled on top. Breadcrumbs, which Sybert uses on all his pastas, are a highly underrated dish component. While most of the menu consists of small plates, a few platters are large enough to share between at least two people. The dish everyone seems to be talking about is the lamb ribs, which are served in a tangle of mint, dill, and other fresh herbs with beets, yogurt, raw onions, hazelnuts, and pickled mustard seeds. The meat is so tender it almost seems a gentle blow would be enough to tear it off the bone. Every meal starts with a small tumbler of complimentary celery shrub. The vinegary palate awakener isn’t for everyone, but I’d drink a full glass of it. The rest of the drink menu is eclectic, but Jensen, who oversees the libations, is the kind of person who could likely talk about Spanish rosés and Italian amaros for hours—and somehow not bore you. In some regards, you still might see flickers of the owners’ former lives at Komi and Little Serow. Like the staff at those restaurants, servers feel more like the hosts of a dinner party. And while, thankfully, you don’t need to wait in line or call exactly a month in advance for these tables, they will undoubtedly —Jessica Sidman be in high-demand.

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FOOD & DRINK Best Chef’s Counter for Attention Hogs The Source

575 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, (202) 637-6100, wolfgangpuck.com

Chef Scott Drewno isn’t above refilling glasses and clearing plates. At least not when it comes to the two-seat chef ’s counter he personally mans at The Source. “On a typical night, I’ll serve 80 percent of the meal myself,” Drewno says of the 16course tasting menu that comes with ample face time. The chef, whose big personality matches his towering height, adds that most diners who book the chef ’s counter are “food people,” so they appreciate hearing the story behind each dish straight from the him or sous chef Angel Barreto, who occasionally pinch hits. Several plates off the menu ($95 before drinks) come from the restaurant’s “idea board,” meaning you get to be a guinea pig and give feedback. —Laura Hayes Call for reservations.

Best Restaurant Bar for Dining The Red Hen

1822 First St. NW, (202) 525-3021, theredhendc.com

The not-so-well-kept secret about dining out is that the bar is often the best place to find great service and feel the pulse of the restaurant. Thankfully, more restaurants are now building bars designed for diners, not just for people grabbing a drink while they wait for a table. The Red Hen’s U-shaped bar, which dominates the center of the dining room, is one such perch. The custombuilt wood bar chairs provide plenty of elbow room so diners can dig into chef Mike Friedman’s homemade rigatoni with fennel sausage ragu or a perfect bulb of burrata atop bits of grilled broccolini, farro, and soppressata with romesco sauce. The bar also provides a prime view of the Virginia oak–fueled grill which gives the dining room a cozy cabin feel. Of course, the bar is for drinking, too. The Red Hen isn’t afraid to embrace some bitterness in the cocktails, but don’t miss coowner Sebastian Zutant’s collaborations with local wine, mead, and cider producers. —Jessica Sidman

Best Day-to-Night Transition Northside Social

3211 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, (703) 465-0145, northsidesocialarlington.com

Like an Ann Taylor dress with a slightly plunging neckline, Northside Social makes a seamless day-to-night transition. When the sun’s out, the neighborhood hang serves as a coffee shop. Baristas build lattes out of Counter Culture coffee and Trickling Springs 34 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Cocktail Bar, Staff Pick: Barmini

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FOOD & DRINK milk that you can pair with pastries in the morning and sandwiches in the afternoon. But when laptops flip shut for the evening at 5 p.m., the upstairs area at Northside Social becomes a cozy, candlelit wine bar. Wine Director Sonja Eberly says it has a “speakeasy” vibe, but more and more people seem to be in the know. As they should: The wine bar has happy hour each night of the week, and Eberly is pouring fun, unexpected wines like an 11-year-old Rioja and orange wine. —Laura Hayes

Best Bar and Restaurant for Punk-Rock Parents Slash Run

201 Upshur St. NW, (202) 838-9929, facebook.com/slashrun

Slash Run cracks me up: The Petworth restaurant looks like it’s supposed to be punk, with its brightly colored vinyl booths and The Clash on the jukebox, but the clientele is just a mix of everyone who lives in the neighborhood, including lots of families. The menu centers around burgers, but there’s also a shrimp cocktail, different kinds of schnitzel, and a huge list of whiskeys. (There’s a kids menu, too.) The Red Derby may have tater tots, but it seldom looks like a mash-up of Ted’s Bulletin and Black Cat. I can’t figure out exactly what Slash Run wants to be, but I love it all the same. —Elena Goukassian

Best Cocktail Bar Barmini

855 E St. NW, (202) 393-4451, minibarbyjoseandres.com

Of all D.C.’s excellent cocktail bars, Barmini feels the most special. The José Andrés “cocktail lab” is the kind of place that can impress even the biggest cocktail snob. The menu is an ambitious 100 drinks long, ranging from classics (a damn good old fashioned) to the zany (a shochu, orange liqueur, and butterfly pea drink that turns from blue to purple when lime juice is added with a pipette). The bar has all sorts of fancy tools from Japanese ice carving saws to smoke guns to a rotary vacuum evaporator, and unique antique glassware make each drink look extra pretty. Even the furniture looks like it came from a Dr. Seuss book. But ultimately, it’s all about a well-crafted drink. And maybe the foie gras– —Jessica Sidman filled waffle.

Best Bar to Win Someone Over 2 Birds 1 Stone

1800 14th St. NW, lower level, 2birds1stonedc.com

Most think of 2 Birds 1 Stone as a hidden bar to hit up on the weekend when it’s packed with beautiful people lifting beautiful glassware to their beautiful faces. But where 2 Birds 1 Stone

Best Restaurant Bar for Dining, Staff Pick: The Red Hen secretly shines is as a post-work drink spot when you need to win someone over. Whether it’s a love interest or a career prospect, 2 Birds 1 Stone says, “Look how rad I am for knowing about this place,” setting you up for success. It’s also much quieter Tuesday through Thursday, making it an optimal setting for important networking conversations or a stream of first date questions and answers. This is especially true if you manage to snag one of the booth nooks that act as barriers to the bar crowd. —Laura Hayes

Best Under-theRadar Happy Hour Sushi Taro

1503 17th St. NW, (202) 462-8999, sushitaro.com

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If you show up at 17th and P streets NW around 5 p.m., you might think that all those people huddled on the sidewalk are waiting for a table at Little Serow. But many of them have caught on to a slightly better-kept secret: the happy hour at Sushi Taro next door. The Japanese restaurant doesn’t advertise it, but from 5:30 to 7 p.m. on weekdays at the bar, its regular sushi menu and all alcoholic drinks (minus large bottles and mixed drinks) are half off. For some of city’s freshest fish and best selections of sake, this is a downright steal. It’s best to show up at least 45 minutes to an hour before the restaurant’s 5:30 p.m. opening. After all, there are only 11 seats. —Jessica Sidman

Best Longest, Saddest, Cheap Happy Hour Foggy Bottom Whole Foods

2201 I St. NW, (202) 296-1660, wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/foggybottom

If the purpose of happy hour is to unwind with friends after work, you won’t find much relaxing about the Foggy Bottom Whole Foods’ chaotic cafeteria-like dining room at the front of the store. Between groups of cackling George Washington University students, loud rock music, the screeching of metal chairs dragged across the floor, and people charging their devices, there is not much refuge from the real world. Before you can even join the mob though, you must navigate the store’s often long and stressful

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FOOD & DRINK lines filled with yuppies. Even then, you’re not ready to throw one back: The only available bottle opener is at customer service. Why endure such an ordeal? Whole Foods offers a large selection of craft beers, most well under $5 for a 12-ounce bottle. My Deschutes Fresh Squeezed IPA cost $2.49 on a recent evening, but I could have settled for a Yuengling IPA for $2 or a PBR for a buck and a half (plus tax). Wines are mostly $5 per glass, but don’t look for anything harder. (This is, after all, a grocery store.) Despite the prices, I wouldn’t over-indulge. But if you do, just be sure to stop at customer service or the first floor before hitting the bathrooms in the basement—you’ll need to acquire the door code before you can get into —Jandos Rothstein the john.

Best Hangover Cure Spicy Lemongrass Beef Special Pho at Pho Viet 3513 14th St. NW, (202) 629-2839, phovietwdc.com

So your body is a stale, sweaty sock on the inside and a shrivelled bag of pleather seeping poisons on the outside. You were living so well last night! How the mighty fall. If you can make it to Pho Viet without vomiting on yourself, you should prop yourself up in a seat at the bar and gently drag your face through a bowl of this magical soup. Order it at full spice—the heat will burn the sin out of your wrecked body, and the sour will wake your taste buds up so your disgusting mouth can rediscover flavors other than “trash feet.” The organ meats and meatballs (the latter are textured like cooked Soylent Green) are all the protein and fat you need to get to the next meal. You’ll be hungry in two hours, so plan accordingly. Do not attempt to walk more than three blocks with a stomach full of this soup. Never drink again. Repeat next week. —Emily Q. Hazzard

Best Grubby Neighborhood Spot No One Thinks to Go To Bravo Bar

2917 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 629-2583, bravobardc.com

Congratulations on kicking that last hangover! It’s time to repeat your mistakes. The District can often feel woefully short on authentic, laid-back neighborhood spots free of douchebags. But Bravo Bar is a place where you can sit at the bar with a friend or alone, watching a game or contemplating the vagaries of life and wondering why more eateries don’t offer a hotdog, a shot of Jim Beam, and a can of PBR for just $6. Another classic Bravo Bar activity is getting out one of its many board games, starting to play, and realizing it’s missing crucial pieces before reassembling everything back into its storage box. Do

BeSt Brewery

Right Proper Brewing Company Multiple locations, rightproperbrewing.com

Since opening in Shaw in December 2013, Right Proper has crafted more than 100 beers—from obscure historic styles to more familiar hop-forward and malt-driven brews. Unlike most breweries, nearly half of Right Proper’s offerings clock in at 5-percent alcohol or less, and these small beers are as flavorful as their higher-gravity counterparts. The secret? An intense focus on yeast, the ingredient closest to the hearts of co-founders Thor Cheston and Nathan Zeender. Zeender uses his own yeast strains developed in-house to create families of beers that have a distinctive, identifiable character. Right Proper takes the brewing process one step further than most: Its production brewery, which opened in Brookland in December, houses three 45-hectoliter oak wine casks (called foudres in French) inoculated with a

38 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

house culture of wild yeasts and bacteria. A tribute to the days when beers were produced in only wooden vessels using natural airborne yeast, foudres allow beers to continuously develop in character and depth. Right Proper’s first foudre offering, Ornithology, is a prime example of what the brewery is about. To make it, Zeender ages Ornette, his wheat-based grisette-style beer, in white wine casks for four to six weeks. The reimagined 3.9-percent alcohol brew is bright, earthy, and faintly funky with a dry, oaky finish. It’s simultaneously delicate and complex. Many Right Proper beers are meant to be revisited as they evolve over time, showcasing how live yeast changes a beer as it ages. Devotees of the brewpub’s “Vintage Tuesdays,” which feature kegs aged several months or even a year, understand this transformative power firsthand. Like Belgium’s Orval brewery, one of Zeender’s

inspirations, Right Proper will soon start bottling to allow for the same experimental conditioning. With a focus on primitive beer styles and methods, and a proclivity for naming beers after obscure British authors or Shirley MacLaine movies from the 1960s, the Right Proper approach to brewing has a creative intellect that elevates the work without pretension. Beyond the beer, both the brewpub and the production brewery tasting room offer a cozy, inviting ambiance that departs from the more typical sports bar or warehouse vibe. The brewpub has a cheese counter, the tasting room has a bathroom piano, and each plays host to events ranging from fondue and trivia nights to pet adoptions and talks with war correspondents. There’s truly something for everyone. But it’s Right Proper’s vision, unapologetic individualism, and the depth of its beers —Tammy Tuck that set it apart.

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FOOD & DRINK

Best New Gay Bar

Trade

Best Hangover Cure, Staff Pick: Spicy Lemongrass Beef Special Pho at Pho Viet

1410 14th St. NW, (202) 986-1094, tradebardc.com

this unassuming ground-floor watering hole was like a breath of fresh air in D.C.’s gay-bar scene when it opened last December. Sure, long lines quickly formed outside—sometimes reaching gelato/coffee shop Dolcezza on the corner of 14th and P streets NW. But as soon as you got past the half-window door and glimpsed the walls of (glorious!) exposed brick, you felt cozy. Cozy because you weren’t in a rush to get upstairs and slosh through crowds of not-so-stellar dancers, like at other gay venues in the city; cozy because you looked around and saw late20-somethings-and-up you could imagine conversing with in your living room; cozy because the double-sized drinks during happy hour (available until 10 p.m. daily) went right to your head. Even by non-gay-bar standards, Trade delivers. From its website: “HUGE HAPPY HOUR IS BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU NORMALLY GET IN A REGULAR GLASS, YOU GET IN A HUGE GLASS FOR THE SAME PRICE, AND THEN ALL BEER AND WINE IS ONLY $4.” Got that? Good, because it’s exactly what it sounds like. I’ve had bourbon sodas in tall beer glasses. Co-owners Ed Bailey, Chachi Boyle, and John Guggenmos know what they’re doing and knew what the market needed. (They own gay venues Town Danceboutique and Number Nine, after all.) A night at Trade could start after work, dinner, or a party and be equally fun, thanks in part to its ever-reliable bartenders and typically inoffensive club music. From time to time, they’ll bring in a DJ, who’ll set up at a repurposed church podium (a lectern, if my Catholic upbringing serves me right) on the elevated dance platform. It hasn’t ever done much for me. Trade initially branded itself as a gay “dive bar,” but this patron isn’t so sure the label has held up a few months into its operations. What dive bar do you know has “all-gender restrooms?” —Andrew Giambrone not fucking ask the bartender to change the music, no matter how many hours it’s been stuck on “The Jam” Pandora station. No assholes in sight, besides you. If a date tries to bring you here, run in any other direction. —Emily Q. Hazzard

Best Brewpub The Public Option

1601 Rhode Island Ave. NE, (202) 397-5129, thepublicoptiondc.com

the beer world is full of contentious terminology. (“Craft” comes to mind.) “Brewpub,” however, is as straightforward as it gets. It’s a place that serves beer it makes on site. Easy. But The Public Option in Langdon from wife-and-husband team Cathy Huben and Bill Perry is about much more than that. The Frankenstein of a building,

which once housed a jazz club/recording studio, is an accidental architectural protest against feng shui with a sitting area that’s more living room than bar and a bathroom sink that almost hovers over the toilet. On my last visit, Perry told me how he measures the District’s evolution by beer-related milestones: the legalization of homebrewing in ’78, the myriad trips through the Brickskeller’s beer book, the first time he had a rare beer at ChurchKey. He offered me a tall, smooth English porter, and Huben served me pretzels in a cereal bowl. We talked, complete strangers resembling old friends, our elbows resting on a bar that the two cobbled together themselves. It is the most neighborly pint you can order in Washington. Now that is a brewpub. —Aaron Morrissey

40 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Old reliaBle Gay Bar

Number Nine 1435 P St. NW, (202) 986-0999, numberninedc.com

Number Nine is that mature, classy friend you have who appreciates stiff whiskey drinks and just wants to have a good time. The two-story lounge splays out like a playground in Logan Circle with full bars on both floors. Its music video playlist is unmatched, featuring ’80s and ’90s artists from Madonna and No Doubt to Britney Spears and La Bouche. (Don’t worry: There’s plenty of Beyoncé, too.) It’s a place to see and be seen, especially on the small patio out front, —Andrew Giambrone right across from Whole Foods.

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Dear WCP Readers, There are over 100 Chinese Takeouts inside the Beltway – and many of our friends put out great food. Getting your votes is a real honor. Thank you for voting us among the Best of DC. Truly—Thank you.

Sincerely, Mr. Chen

202-797-9668

♥

THANKS FOR THE LOVE DC 116 RHODE ISLAND AVE, NW WASHINGTON, DC 20001 www.boundarystonedc.com

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April 7, 2

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FOOD & DRINK Best Bottle List The Sovereign

1206 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 774-5875, thesovereigndc.com

The Sovereign’s bottle list has everything a beer nerd could want: Cantillon, Drie Fonteinen, De Cam! Throw a dart and you’ll hit a great beer. But there are ways to maximize even this most labyrinthine of large format lists. My advice? Treat it like you’d budget a travel itinerary. Want to take a big vacation? Swing around continental Europe with bottles from France’s Thiriez, Italy’s Toccalmatto, Belgium’s De Ranke, and Luxembourg’s Fantome for less than $100. Feeling patriotic? Stick stateside: $35 is the cost of a bus ticket to Tennessee’s Blackberry Farms, Michigan’s Jolly Pumpkin, or Missouri’s Perennial (plus, The Sovereign’s seats sure beat Greyhound’s). The jet-set type? Go with short-bottles from Quebec’s Dieu du Ciel, Oklahoma’s Prairie, and West Flanders’ Westvleteren—all for less than 50 bucks. The potential to travel is only limited by your creativity (and a good beer buzz). The best part: You can go back to Georgetown anytime you want, head down an alley, and start a brand new adventure. —Aaron Morrissey

Best Beer Store for Rail Passengers Union Wine and Liquor

50 Massachusetts Ave. NE, (202) 789-0008

I am an Amtrak enthusiast. Which is to say, I am an enthusiast of long-distance travel that involves drinking beer. This also means I am an enthusiast of Union Wine and Liquor. While the professional move is to BYOB, budding Northeast Corridor wanderers looking for suds to help bide the time until the onboard Wi-Fi kicks in simply must peruse the singles at this groundfloor shop before boarding. After all, fresh Port City goes a lot further than that $7.50 Sam Adams. Just, you know, don’t forget a —Aaron Morrissey bottle opener.

Best Beer You Have to Hunt For Handsome Beer Company handsomebeer.co

Given a tsunami of new beer options in D.C., many bars switch out taps nearly as often as their bartenders change underwear (we hope). This thirst for variety means sometimes even the best beers can be difficult to track down. Take Handsome Beer’s Galaxy Saison: a light, earthy, lusciously tropical brew made with rustic Belgian yeast and citrusy Galaxy hops. Local proprietors Matt Humbard and Graham MacDonald do not yet have their own brewery. But thanks to borrowed time at one in Warrenton, Va., their beers have popped up at spots like

Best Beer You Have to Hunt For, Staff Pick: Handsome Beer Company Meridian Pint and Colony Club since the brewers’ fall launch. Die-hard fans, painfully aware of how fast Handsome kegs kick, know to follow social media for their pop-up events or try best bets like Macon Bistro or Thally. Luckily, Humbard and MacDonald plan to release additional small-batches and six-packs this spring, which means scoring their brews should be less —Tammy Tuck of a treasure hunt.

Best Drinking Feat The Kimpton Challenge kimptonhotels.com

Remember to hydrate before taking on the District’s quirkiest drinking feat: the Kimpton Challenge. Then lace up some fashion sneakers because your mission is to hit the free wine hour (5 to 6 p.m.) at all nine Kimp-

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ton hotels in D.C. proper. Start at Hotel Madera off Dupont Circle and work your way east. First-timers should be able to hit Hotel Madera, Hotel Palomar, The Carlyle Hotel, Topaz Hotel, Hotel Rouge, Mason & Rook (opening soon), and The Donovan with ease. Only athletes should attempt to finish the four-mile course, which concludes at Hotel George near Union Station. These wine hours are meant as an amenity for hotel guests, but you’re wearing fashion sneakers, so you’ll blend right in with tourists. —Laura Hayes

Best Grubby Neighborhood Spot No One Thinks to Go To, Staff Pick: Bravo Bar

Saturday, apriL 16 Carnegie Library at Mt. Vernon Square 801 K Street, nW Washington, dC 20001

6pM - 2aM a Japanese-inspired event that brings the energy and excitement surrounding its pop culture experiences to Washington, dC.

CPfullpage.indd 1

get ready to iMMerSe yourSeLF in dCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LargeSt JapaneSe-inSpired party!

Sushi & Sake Workshops

Manga Vendors

Cherry blast dance party

anime Fashion Show

Cosplay Competition

gaming & drift Car Competition

tokyo Street Food experience

Live painting & Cherry blossom inspired art Show

purChaSe tiCKetS @ eventsdCCherryblast.com

#eventsdCCherryblast

4/2/16 7:18 PM

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best New Jazz Musician, Staff Pick: Lionel Lyles

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Readers’ Picks ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Art ClAss

Best Art GAllery

Best Arts And Culture nonprofit

Best Arts BloG

Capitol Hill Arts Workshop 545 7th St. SE, (202) 547-6839, chaw.org

Renwick Gallery Pennsylvania Avenue NW at 17th Street, (202) 633-1000, renwick.americanart.si.edu

BloomBars

Girls Guide to Music girlsguidetomusic.com

Readers Say: “The best place to go for

encompassing environment to the arts!”

Readers Say: “I was sad when they closed it for remodeling, but it’s better than before! I went opening weekend and it was packed.”

culture and amazing fun for the kiddos!”

Runners-Up: Free in DC, #aCreativeDC

Runners-Up: Corcoran School of the Arts and Design, Uncork’d Art

Runners-Up: The Phillips Collection, National Gallery of Art

Runners-Up: Abada-Capoeira DC, St. John’s

Best Arts festivAl

Community Services

Smithsonian Craft Show 401 F St. NW, (202) 633-1000, smithsoniancraftshow.org

Readers Say: “So much variety and attention to creating a welcoming, creative, and all

3222 11th St. NW, (202) 567-7713, bloombars.com

Readers Say: “Intelligent writing, excellent taste, timely and stylish curation of the trendiest in upcoming music and arts.”

Readers Say: “Wonderfully unique and interesting. The artisans were engaging and represented various regions of the USA. This is not your typical craft show.”

land B r e d

Runners-Up: Downtown Holiday Market, Crafty Bastards

Best Comedy venue

DC Improv 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 296-7008, dcimprov.com

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Readers Say: “Absolutely the best ticket in town for comedy.” Runners-Up: Medieval Madness, Arlington Cinema ‘N’ Drafthouse

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Best CommerCiAl Art GAllery

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LATELA 716 Monroe St. NE, (202) 340-3280, lateladc.com Readers Say: “Focused on community building and connecting emerging creatives with opportunities and arts industry guidance.” Runners-Up: Touchstone Gallery, Long View Gallery

Best CulturAl festivAl

Turkish Festival turkishfestival.org Readers Say: “You feel like you are in Turkey. The food, the music, the dancers, the vendors make you feel like you are in Grand Bazaar. It is just a wonderful atmosphere.” Runners-Up: Smithsonian Folklife Festival, Nowruz Festival

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Best Blues/Jazz Venue, Readers’ Pick: Blues Alley

BEST dANCE CoMpANy

Princess Mhoon Dance Institute 926 Philadelphia Ave., Silver Spring, (301) 448-1663, princessmoondance.com Readers Say: “Awesome staff and performances.” Runners-Up: The Washington Ballet, Joy of Motion Dance Center

BEST dJ

LJ MTX twitter.com/LJMTX Readers Say: “His shit is bananas. B-A-N-AN-A-S.” Runners-Up: DJ Big Mike the Ruler; DJ Beauty and the Beatz, DJ Quicksilva (tie)

Best Local Hip-Hop Artist, Readers’ Pick: Wale

BEST fESTIvAl

Turkish Festival turkishfestival.org Readers Say: “In my view, this is one of the most colorful cultural events in D.C. Art, music, folklore, and food all well presented.” Runners-Up: H Street Festival, Capital Pride Festival

BEST fIlM fESTIvAl

DC Shorts Film Festival (202) 393-4266, dcshorts.com Readers Say: “Fun and funny. Interesting flicks that are unusual.” Runners-Up: Gi Film Festival, Reel Affirmations Film Festival

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT BEST loCAl HIp-Hop ARTIST

Wale walemusic.com

Runners-Up: Born I Music, Christylez Bacon

BEST loCAl oRIGINAl BANd

Aztec Sun aztecsunband.com

Readers Say: “Seriously, the best. I have naughty dreams about these guys and their music. If I can’t marry the band, I hope they play at my wedding.” Runners-Up: The Muddy Crows, Batalá Washington

BEST MovIE THEATER

E Street Cinema 555 11th St. NW, (202) 7839494, landmarktheatres.com/ washington-d-c/e-street-cinema Runners-Up: Atlantic Plumbing Cinema, Uptown Theater

BEST MuSEuM off THE MAll

The Phillips Collection 1600 21st St. NW, (202) 387-2151, phillipscollection.org Readers Say: “Wonderful collection, wonderful special exhibits, concerts, and a great cafe, all in the heart of Dupont Circle.” Runners-Up: National Portrait Gallery, Newseum

BEST MuSEuM oN THE MAll

National Gallery of Art 6th Street and Constitution Avenue NW, (202) 737-4215, nga.gov Readers Say: “Always something new to see and beautiful interior courtyards for quiet contemplation.” Runners-Up: National Museum of Natural History, Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden

Best Theater Festival, Readers’ Pick: Capital Fringe Festival

BEST Go-Go BANd

Backyard Band backyardbanddc.com Readers Say: “Keeping Chuck Brown’s memory alive.” Runners-Up: Team Familiar, Rare Essence

BEST HIp-Hop NIGHT

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com Readers Say: “Dope.” Runners-Up: Sundays at Lounge of Three, Main Ingredient Mondays

BEST MuSIC fESTIvAl

Kingman Island Bluegrass & Folk Festival kingmanislandbluegrass.com BEST JAzz JAM SESSIoN

DC Jazz Jam dcjazzjam.com

Readers Say: “Introducing the world of jazz to the masses! Excellent Sunday activity, nice bar, wonderful atmosphere, and an amazing way to meet D.C.’s jazz community.” Runners-Up: Mr. Henry’s Restaurant, Takoma Station

BEST JAzz/BluES vENuE

Blues Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 337-4141, bluesalley.com

BEST KARAoKE

District Karaoke districtkaraoke.com Readers Say: “Not just singing but performing also with costumes and props. Lots of fun.”

Runners-Up: Landmark Music Festival, Sweetlife Festival

BEST MuSIC vENuE

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW, (202) 265-0930, 930.com

BEST loCAl CovER BANd

Readers Say: “Always a blast! Scintillating sounds, amazing ambiance, and the best bands!”

White Ford Bronco whitefordbronco.com

BEST NEIGHBoRHood fESTIvAl

Runners-Up: Muzette, Kostume Karaoke

Runners-Up: Black Cat, The Park at Fourteenth

Readers Say: “Still the standard for class acts in jazz and blues.”

Readers Say: “Seen them multiple times, never disappointed.”

H Street Festival hstreet.org/events/festival

Runners-Up: Bohemian Caverns, Twins Jazz

Runners-Up: 7 Deadlies, The DCeivers

Runners-Up: Adams Morgan Day, Funk Parade

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Local Hip-Hop Night, Readers’ Pick: The Park at Fourteenth

BEST NIGHT CluB

BEST pERfoRMANCE ARTIST

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com

Lionel Lyles llqmusic.com Readers Say: “Lionel is a force on tenor sax and his approach to the standards are phenomenal. The solos are not predictable and inventive.”

Readers Say: “I went for happy hour on Thursday with my daughter and stayed for the club. I had the time of my life!” Runners-Up: Town Danceboutique, The Jam Cellar

Runners-Up: Cherie Sweetbottom; Aaron Myers, Herbert Scott (tie)

BEST ouTdooR MovIE SERIES

BEST pERfoRMING ARTS vENuE

Screen on the Green hbo.com/screenonthegreen Runners-Up: NoMa Summer Screen, Capitol Riverfront Outdoor Movie Series

BEST ouTdooR vENuE

Wolf Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna, Va., (703) 255-1900, wolftrap.org Runners-Up: Merriweather Post Pavilion, Yards Park

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Best Museum on the Mall, Readers’ Pick: National Gallery of Art

John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts 2700 F St. NW, (202) 467-4600, kennedy-center.org Readers Say: “With free shows every day at 6 p.m. and a calendar with something for everyone, how can you go wrong?” Runners-Up: Spit Dat DC, Atlas Performing Arts Center

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT BEST plACE To SEE loCAl MuSIC

The Park at Fourteenth 920 14th St. NW, (202) 737-7275, park14.com

Best Performing Arts Venue, Readers’ Pick: The Kennedy Center

Runners-Up: 9:30 Club, Black Cat

BEST RAdIo STATIoN

WAMU 88.5 4400 Massachusetts Ave. NW, (202) 885-1200, wamu.org Readers Say: “One-of-a-kind radio station with respect to the diversity, depth, and breadth of their programs.” Runners-Up: WPFW 89.3, HOT 99.5

BEST RECoRdING STudIo

Blue Room Productions Multiple Locations, (240) 505-5544, blueroommusicstudio.com Readers Say: “Blue Room Productions is the place to go. State-of-the-art equipment, prompt and professional service.” Runners-Up: House Studio, Buzzlounge Recording Studio

BEST RECREATIoNAl SpoRTS lEAGuE

District Sports districtsports.org

Readers Say: “So organized and well-run, with a great volunteer component too.” Runners-Up: United Social Sports, Metro Sports Leagues

BEST SINGER

Aaron Myers facebook.com/MrAaronMyers Readers Say: “Entertaining, funny, unorthodox, great voice! So worth seeing!” Runners-Up: Marquita Cheron, Tacha Coleman Parr

BEST STRIp CluB

The Camelot Showbar 1823 M St. NW, (202) 887-5966, camelotshowbar.com Readers Say: “Not too sleazy.” Runners-Up: Good Guys Club, Ziegfeld’s/Secrets

BEST THEATER CoMpANy

Constellation Theatre Company 1835 14th St. NW, (202) 204-7741, constellationtheatre.org Readers Say: “Wonderful venue, great stories, and excellent acting and production. What more can I say?”

BEST vISuAl ARTIST

Hernan Gigena Art + Design hernangigena.com Readers Say: “Hernan jewelry and art pieces are unique creations with the simplicity and cleanliness of a pure soul.” Runners-Up: Molly Knabel, Rayhart

Runners-Up: Shakespeare Theatre Company, Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company

BEST THEATER fESTIvAl

Capital Fringe Festival 1358 Florida Ave. NE, (202) 7377230, capitalfringe.org Runners-Up: Women’s Voices Theater Festival, The Atlas Intersections Festival

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Best Museum off the Mall, Readers’ Pick: The Phillips Collection

B A LT I M O R E S Y M P H O N Y O R C H E S T R A AT S T R AT H M O R E

in concert Featuring JOHN WATERS and a full Broadway cast! Thu, Jun 2, 8 pm Jack Everly, conductor

s t e k c i T t Ge Now! BSOmusic.org | 1.877.BSO.1444 COMPLIMENTARY PARKING | ON THE RED LINE

metro

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Staff Picks ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Collectibles Sister Polygon Tapes

sisterpolygonrecords.bigcartel.com

If you know about Sister Polygon records, the scrappy homegrown label of D.C. DIY standard–bearers Priests, you know there’s a reason its vinyl singles and small-run cassettes seem to disappear quickly. The growing discography isn’t just a glimpse into the tastes and leanings of the District’s best punk export; it’s a fascinating, sui generis lineup of some of the city’s strangest, smartest, and scuzziest music (not to mention some kindred spirits from beyond the District line). Take the dystopian/devotional drone instrumentals of Carni Klirs, the womb-like jangle-pop of Hothead, or the cheeky garage deconstructions of Dudes. It’s music of sonic diversity and a common, handmade ethos—in other words, a scene. In 10 years, you’ll be glad you own the complete set. —Jonathan L. Fischer

Best Place to Get Introduced to Go-Go Takoma Station

6914 4th St. NW, (202) 829-1999, takomastation.com

This smallish lounge a short block away from the Takoma Metro station is somewhat of an underground king of the D.C. music scene. With an intimate setting and a great sound system, newbies can feel comfortable grooving from their seats, although getting off your ass and jamming is infectious and always encouraged. Go-go bands, usually veterans with a grown-andsexy style, play here a few days out of the week—including the reliably on-point Suttle Thoughts which holds down the weekly Friday night slot. Grab a (notoriously stiff) drink from the bar and hit the dance floor. —Nena Perry-Brown

Best Place to Eat Soup and Buy Records Cultured Cafe/Dig Records

212A Loudoun St. SE, Leesburg, Va., (703) 297-8754, culturedleesburg.com

Two of my favorite things in the world are soup and records. There’s nothing more comforting than putting on a record while trying out a new soup recipe. I don’t know a

Best Collectibles, Staff Pick: Sister Polygon Tapes better way to explain it—there’s just something about soundtracking a culinary adventure with my latest vinyl purchases that puts me in a place of Zen. There’s only one place outside of my home where I’ve encountered similar tranquility and that’s Cultured Cafe and Dig Records in Leesburg, Va. The

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ground floor cafe has an excellent menu of delicious soups made from organic and locally sourced ingredients, while the top floor is a cozy little record store specializing in rock, jazz, punk, and soul. Please, someone, ensure my ashes are scattered here when I —Matt Cohen expire.

Best Movie Theater for Napping Atlantic Plumbing Cinema 807 V St. NW, (202) 534-1965, landmarktheatres.com

The seats at Landmark’s newest theater are

VOTED BEST IN BALTIMORE BY THE CITYPAPER VOTED BEST CLUB EAST COAST BY EXOTIC DANCER MAGAZINE

FULL NUDE FULL LIQUOR FULL CONTACT DANCING

SCORES-BALTIMORE.COM washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 55

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT very comfortable—perhaps a little too comfortable. During a late showing of Hail, Caesar!, I couldn’t help but drift off in the middle of a movie I’d been extremely excited to see. Imagine what these seats can do for you at a movie your significant other has dragged you to. The seats are so big, he or she might not even notice you dozed off. The AFI Silver is famous for its accommodations, but there’s nothing like a small theater with only a couple dozen armchairs. Sweet dreams, —Elena Goukassian moviegoers.

Best Musicology Lesson and Free Dance Party Metro Mambo

Multiple locations, facebook.com/metromambo

since 2009, WPfW DJ Jim Byers has been presenting Metro Mambo, an event with an hour-long discussion on Latin music of the ’50s and ’60s and an hour of dancing at places like the Anacostia Community Museum and Anacostia Arts Center. In the hands of some, 60 minutes of talk about 50-yearold records and fashion, even with film clips, might be dull. But Byers’ sunny disposition elicits fascinating information from guests like Tito Puente biographer Joe Conzo and dancer Flip Brown. Then Byers introduces Bio Ritmo or Orquesta La Leyenda so the crowd can live out the history, twirling couples-style to rhythmic timbales and horns. —Steve Kiviat

Best Busking Spot Dupont Circle South

thanks to the enterprising young guitarist who successfully sued the Washington Metropolitan Area Transportation Authority in 2014, we might be living in the golden age of busking in the District. When buskers busk, there’s not much anyone can do to stop them—even noise-averse lawyers like the ones at Skadden, Arps, who tried to negotiate with the Spread Love Band, asking the group to play somewhere other than near its office. (Among its backup plans: hiring a string quartet to arrive at the busking spot earlier.) I found myself feeling similar angst and accompanying regret when I worked above the south entrance to the Dupont Circle Metro station—so loud were the buskers, and so thin were my office’s windows, that my generally pro-chaos stance toward city life nearly wilted into sonic NIMBYism. Gotta give it credit, though: If busking is what you want to experience, the location’s abundant Panera seating, choice 19th Street acoustics, and diverse musician lineup makes it the best busking venue in the District. So here’s to you, a cappella gospel guy who greeted the terminus of my morning commute. Here’s to you, monotone Sinatra impersonator. Here’s to you, Hendrix wailer—I still appreciate that time you played the bulk of Curtis Mayfield’s

Best Lifer

Devin Ocampo the-effects.com, warmsun.bandcamp.com

it takes two years for a band to find its footing, says Devin Ocampo—which should thrill fans of the longtime D.C. punk musician, since his two main creative outlets, The Effects and Warm Sun, are each straddling year three. Not that their first two felt unformed. If The Effects was a Terminator robot, it would be the T-1000—lithe, muscular, and direct, like liquid metal. Warm Sun, meanwhile, is a wanderer: If it can give the musical predilections of its members a poptimistic slant, it’ll go there. For nearly 20 years—behind the drum kit, at the recording console, and leading outfits as a singer and guitarist—Ocampo has been a mainstay of your favorite punk bands’ favorite really smart punk bands. He drummed in idiom-damagers Smart Went Crazy; gave math rock a post-hardcore tune-up in Faraquet; backed up Mary Timony’s solo vision quests; and in Medications, showed that a D.C. band could prize technique and fury and a certain poppiness—that it could have a huge appetite and impeccably good taste. Ocampo might have the most packed CV in D.C.’s broader punk-rock constellation, one that also includes his work with Beauty Pill, Chad Clark’s project of widescreen, genre-agnostic art-pop. Make a Venn diagram of musicians who like really exotic time signatures, can write choruses you’ll remember three days after hearing them, and seem to work all the time. There’s Ocampo. He’s also one of D.C.’s most generous collaborators. While The Effects is an outlet for Ocampo’s compositions, the power-trio is “just now starting to sink our teeth into what we are and what we’re about,” Ocampo says, largely because it’s become more of a team effort. At first, he says, “I’d bring completely written demos, completed songs” to his bandmates, drummer David Rich and bassist Matt Dowling. Now, “we’re trying to take all the directions a song might lead before we decide it’s finished.” If The Effects is Ocampo’s workhorse, Warm Sun is a more relaxed beast. The project started as a way for his wife, Renata Burger, to learn drums. “At first, it was a way for me to have an outlet for music I had in my head that I would call more accessible or pop, maybe stuff where I would say, ‘Ah, it’s not serious enough, it’s too straightforward.’” Now the challenge is keeping things simple. “A lot of what has changed is that she’s gotten so good.” Completing the band are Basla Andolsun (another Beauty Pill member) and Jason Hutto (who also plays in Soccer Team). Ocampo, who also does audio post-pro-

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Best Lifer, Staff Pick: Devin Ocampo

duction work for television programs, has more in the works. Medications is still a going, if occasional, concern. Ocampo and his wife are toying with an as-yet-unnamed project in which they both play drums. And he’s currently backing former Jawbox frontman J. Robbins, including during a mini-tour later this spring. Though there’s a sonic through-line in Ocampo’s work—particularly his three trios, Faraquet, Medications, and The Effects—he isn’t quick to describe it in aesthetic terms. “What defines my various bands is my work

with the various members,” Ocampo says, channeling the utilitarian ethic that’s as evident in those groups as their intelligent songcraft. Even though he can play about any instrument he’d need in a band, “I’ve never been able to get away with a solo project—it’s very hard to do it yourself in a vacuum,” he says. “There’s no feedback. That part of the process is very important to me. [My bands] all have that push and pull, you really have to put your ideas into the process. When everyone nods their head, you finally know it —Jonathan L. Fischer works.”

Take Metrobus and Metrorail to the...

DC JAZZFESTIVAL JUNE 10 –19, 2016

2016 DC JazzFest celebrates the International Language of Jazz A citywide festival presenting 90+ bands, 300 artists, 60+ venues including Yards Park, The Kennedy Center, The Hamilton Live, area clubs and restaurants, and National Parks venues. Kamasi Washington • Cécile McLorin Salvant • Maceo Parker • Regina Carter • Igmar Thomas & The Revive Big Band with Talib Kweli, Bilal and Ravi Coltrane • Eddie Palmieri Latin Jazz Septet • Steve Coleman and Five Elements Kurt Elling • Makaya McCraven & the Marquis Hill Blacktet • Harold Mabern w/Eric Alexander • Steve Turre Etienne Charles • Joey DeFrancesco • Greg Osby • Cory Henry & The Funk Apostles • Fred Foss • Ben Williams Ernest Ranglin • Cyrus Chestnut • Benny Golson • Orrin Evans • Michele Rosewoman & New Yor-uba The Chuck Brown Band • Matthew Shipp/Bill Cole • Smithsonian Jazz Masterworks Orchestra Laurent Coq & Walter Smith III “The Lafayette Suite” • Allyn Johnson Nasar Abadey • Lena Seikaly E.J. Strickland & Transient Beings • Cissa Paz • DCJazzPrix Finalists! • and many more

For tickets, artists and events, visit DCJAZZFEST.ORG PLATINUM & GOLD SPONSORS

The DC Jazz Festival®, a 501(c)(3) non-profit service organization, is sponsored in part with major grants from the Government of the District of Columbia, Muriel Bowser, Mayor; and, in part, by major grants from the Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, The Mayo Charitable Foundation, CrossCurrents Foundation, The Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts, Mid-Atlantic Arts Foundation, The Max and Victoria Dreyfus Foundation ,and with a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts and the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, an agency supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts; and by the City Fund, administered by The Community Foundation for the National Capital Region. ©2016 DC Jazz Festival. All rights reserved.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best Song About the Exorcist Steps, Staff Pick: Escape-ism’s “Exorcist Stairs”

Super Fly soundtrack. I’m glad I no longer have to hear you every day, but I’m also glad you’re there. May you clang ever onward. —Jonathan L. Fischer

Best Jazz Jam D.C. Jazz Jam at The Brixton 901 U St. NW, dcjazzjam.com

Drummer Will Stephens’ D.C. Jazz Jam had a fairly strong following—and pretty good music—back when he ran it out of Dahlak Eritrean Cuisine in Adams Morgan. But when Dahlak closed last March, the weekly Sunday night jam session moved to the second floor of U Street’s The Brixton—and the floodgates opened. It helps that The Brixton’s loungecum-bandstand is by itself about half the size of Dahlak’s entire space, and the adjacent bar and table area is larger still. But more importantly, the crowd is enthusiastic, there’s a formidable waiting list of great D.C. musicians who want to take their turn, and the music they produce is passionate and swings like —Michael J. West hell.

Best Theater Group Working Out of a Church Basement Spooky Action Theater

1810 16th St. NW, (202) 248-0301, spookyaction.org

Spooky Action Theater consistently puts on some of the District’s most imaginative productions, from shows featuring Stalin and Bulgakov as characters to weird Japanese dream theater. What makes the company’s accomplishments even more extraordinary is the fact that all of its productions are staged in the basement of the Universalist National Memorial Church on 16th and S. With each new production, the underground space morphs into a different world. In May, Happy Hour will transform the space into “a live-action twist on the familiar ‘escape the room’ video game,” where audience teams compete while controlling their —Elena Goukassian human avatars.

Best Visual Representation of New D.C. Puff Pieces’ Bland in D.C. Cover Art puffpieces.bandcamp.com

Puff Pieces is a band in D.C. Its new album is called Bland in D.C. The album consists of 11 jittery, anxious post-punk songs mostly about living in a city that’s been changed so much in the past several years that it’s barely recognizable anymore. This, according to Puff Pieces, is not a good thing, as you probably surmised from the album’s title. The cover features of a green dragon with red wings and tail, crudely drawn using, it looks like, MS Paint circa 1995. The dragon is saying “Bland in D.C.” 58 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

NO N OW W OP O PE EN N APRIL 8TH & 9TH

SPECIAL EVENT

COMING IN APRIL April 15th & 16th DRENNON DAVIS from NBCs Last Comic Standing

SARAH COLONNA

April 22nd & 23rd MICHELLE WOLF

April 28th – 30th RACHEL FEINSTEIN

LAURA KIGHTLINGER

JOSH RABINOWITZ

from Late Night with Seth Meyers

from HBOs Lucky Louie and SNL

from Inside Amy Schumer and NBCs Last Comic Standing

from Adam Devine’s House Party and Comedy Central’s “Comics to Watch”

Thanks for voting Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse one of the BEST COMEDY VENUES 2016. If you love us, we know you will love Drafthouse Comedy Theater.

DrafthouseComedy.com DrafthouseComedyinDC

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*Online ticket purchases only at:

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Not available for special events. 18+ washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 59

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best Place to Rub Shoulders With Supreme Court Justices, Staff Pick: Arena Stage

Sometimes, I very much identify with this —Matt Cohen dragon.

Best Mayoral CreativeEconomy Blunder The Franklin School 13th and K streets NW

By overruling an agreement reached under her predecessor’s administration, Mayor Muriel Bowser undid the best proposal yet to restore the crumbling Franklin School at 13th

and K streets NW. Dani Levinas, a local business leader and art collector, aimed to turn the building into the Institute for Contemporary Expression—an open platform for new contemporary art projects. If this winter’s installations at the Renwick Gallery were any indication, ICE would’ve been a major new downtown draw, perhaps even a force to revive nearby Franklin Square. Seeing as how the Franklin School is sealed by the stiffest protective status that historic preservation can bestow (inside and out), there are few uses

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to which the building is very well suited: not condos, not a boutique hotel, and maybe not even a tech shop. Yet Bowser, citing a lack of fundraising on behalf of Levinas and developer Anthony Lanier, scuppered the deal, despite the fact that ICE had already raised half of its first $6 million push before the project was fully authorized. Big mistake. A public building deserves a public use, and downtown would benefit from a cultural experience that isn’t a $20-per-ticket schlock museum. Next up for the Franklin School is a new round of

tours from interested developers that may yield the same results as years of past efforts: an empty Franklin School. —Kriston Capps

Best New Jazz Musician Lionel Lyles llqmusic.com

Lionel Lyles has a clean, robust sound (with no small amount of muscle) on his tenor saxophone. He can chase punchy funk as tenaciously as he does loose swing, and in both

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APRIL 15, 16, 17, 2016 Montgomery County Fairgrounds Gaithersburg, MD • EXIT 11 OFF I-270

Admission $8 online, $10 at the door - good all 3 days Children under 12 and parking are FREE Fri. & Sat. 10-6, Sun. 10-5 DISCOUNT TICKETS, show info, exhibitor lists, directions and more at:

SugarloafCrafts.com SUGARLOAF MOUNTAIN WORKS, INC. • 800-210-9900

NEWSEUM NIGHTS: LIKE, SHARE, ELECT Wednesday, May 11, 7 to 9:30 p.m. Celebrate the 2016 election with one political party that’s sure to get everyone’s vote. Like, share and tweet your way through an evening of games, activities and interactive experiences that explore how social media has revolutionized the race for the White House. GET THE EXECUTIVE TREATMENT WITH: Open beer and wine bar Hors d’oeuvres After-hours access to the Newseum’s galleries A look at our newest exhibit, “CNN Politics Campaign 2016: Like, Share, Elect” Presidential portraits at our Selfie Station and Cartoonist Corner And much more! Visit newseum.org for tickets and information.

NEWSEUM.ORG 555 PENNSYLVANIA AVE., N.W., WASHINGTON, D.C. TripAdvisor’s 2015 Travelers’ Choice Top 25 Museums in the U.S.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 61

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best Place to Roller Skate, Staff Pick: Anacostia Park Skating Pavilion

pursuits he maintains a steady footing in lyricism. He writes his own material, he arranges standards, and he knows the jazz playbook. But above all, he’s hungry. Lyle’s arrival in D.C. last year was more like a full-scale invasion: He gigs in the clubs and in the bars, he sits in on other people’s gigs wherever he’s welcomed, and he hits seemingly every jam session and just plain hang. The last cat who worked this hard to make the scene was Elijah Balbed, who’s now in New York. Lyles might —Michael J. West go even further.

Best Pre-Show Experience Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company 641 D St. NW, (202) 393-3939, woollymammoth.net

The world wasn’t built for those of us cursed with perpetual punctuality. Most of us already bring along a good book to stave off boredom when we inevitably arrive on time for a suggested meetup (despite every attempt to be fashionably late). Woolly Mammoth might be the one place in the city

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that rewards us for being early: Since 2011, the theater has been transforming its lobby into on-theme, interactive experiences before each show. Some of these were particularly brilliant, like the chaotic campaign war room complete with interactive whiteboards, phones, and notebooks that accompanied the political comedy The Totalitarians. But each one will ensure that you’ll never be bored while waiting on that friend who won’t show up until five minutes before —Riley Croghan the show starts.

Best Electronic Music Collaboration Lifted

p-a-n.org/release/pan-61-lifted-1

In the vernacular, “lifted” has a few connotations: getting high, finding blissful enlightenment, or a combination of the two. It’s the combination that seems to best describe Lifted, an electronic music collaboration launched by D.C.’s own Max D and Continued

Corcoran Arts CONTINUING EDUCATION Lil Buck: “A dazzling prodigy” —The New York Times

DEMO: Place

Johnny Gandelsman, Cristina Pato, and Lil Buck photo by Erin Baiano

Open House When: Where:

Saturday, April 9, 1:00 - 3:00 PM

with DAMIAN WOETZEL starring LIL BUCK

500 17th St NW, Washington, D.C. 20006

Meet the faculty, tour the school’s facilities & discover GW Corcoran Arts. Learn about summer & fall courses, as well as undergraduate, graduate and pre-college programs.

Memphis Jookin’ Dance Phenomenon

nondegree.gwu.edu/cce

singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist

KATE DAVIS

As featured in the Washington Post, Ebony Magazine, and Dancer Magazine…

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TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600

Classes Workshops International Retreats Performances Dance Parties

Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400. New Artistic Initiatives are funded in honor of Linda and Kenneth Pollin.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Charles Steck

Best New Jazz Venue, Staff Pick: Jazz and Cultural Society

BEST NEW JAzz VENUE

Jazz and Cultural Society 2813 12th St. NE, (202) 526-1615, jazzandculturalsociety.com

JACS doesn’t feel like a jazz club. It has some of the accessories: The outside entrance features a colorful mural of musicians; inside there’s a stage with piano and drums, musical instruments and jazz-inspired art on the powder-blue walls, tables and chairs on the long floor. Even so, those trappings are integrated into what is recognizably the ground floor of a scruffy storefront on a residential Brookland street. The vibe is less that of a club than of a neighborhood community center. Which is precisely what DeAndrey Howard was going for when he and partner Al-

ice Jamison created the Jazz and Cultural Society, which opened last April. “I grew up playing all the top jazz clubs in D.C.,” says the 62-year-old co-owner and manager, who plays trumpet and drums. “I wanted a place that was different from all the other places—a place for the community to come together, but with the intimacy of a jazz club.” On Wednesday and Sunday nights, that’s exactly what you’ll find inside the brown brick building. The tables and chairs (all donated) are filled with men, women, and children of all ages, all races, and all walks of life—but older African Americans have a plurality. Au-

64 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

dience members smile and share some chitchat with each other between songs, munching on the hot food prepared by volunteers in the rear kitchen. And they hoot, holler, and sometimes even get up and dance to the hardswinging, straight-ahead jazz being played on the stage (mostly by local musicians, though Howard has heard from national artists like Cassandra Wilson and Wallace Roney). Just to drive the point home, Howard often picks up a microphone as songs end and bellows, “Jazz, jazz, jazz!” Admission is a flat $5, no matter who’s playing. The musicians are the only ones who get paid—the club is staffed by volunteers—

and they play music that requires the chops and polish of a seasoned jazz artist, but that isn’t highly cerebral and challenging: It’s jazz with something to say to the people. It all adds up to a rare breed: jazz as a grassroots movement. JACS’ place among the rowhouses of Brookland is no accident. It signifies Howard and Jamison’s desire to strip away the music’s often-elitist trappings and give it back to an everyday audience. “That was the dream, man,” Howard says. “To be a premiere jazz spot—but instead of ‘taking it one step further,’ like you always hear people say, taking it a million —Michael J. West steps further.”

KENNEDY CENTER

Jason Moran, Artistic Director for Jazz

2015–2016 Season Discovery Artist in the KC Jazz Club

New Washingtonians with Guest Integriti Reeves* Friday, April 8

Best availability 9 p.m.

KC Jazz Club • Performances at 7 & 9 p.m. in the Terrace Gallery.

No minimum. Light menu fare available.

Stefon Harris and Sonic Creed

Stefon Harris

Saturday, April 9 at 7 p.m. Family Theater

The Bad Plus Joshua Redman Friday, April 15

Best availability 10 p.m.

Crossroads Club • Performances at 8 & 10 p.m. in the Atrium. The Crossroads Club features expansive standing room (only) and high-top tables, with drinks available for purchase.

Discovery Artist in the KC Jazz Club

Peter and Will Anderson Quintet* Friday, April 22

KC Jazz Club

WPFW 89.3 FM is a media partner of Kennedy Center Jazz. Discovery Artists in the KC Jazz Club are supported by The King-White Family Foundation and Dr. J. Douglas White. *This performance is made possible through the generous support of The William N. Cafritz Jazz Initiative.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 65

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best Instagram Oppo, Staff Pick: The Renwick Gallery

Baltimore-based Matt Papich, who records as Co La. The pair supplemented their improvised sessions with contributions from an international crew that includes ambient pioneer Gigi Masin and 1432 R co-founder Dawit Eklund. The resulting freeform experiments make up 1, a spacious, elastic, and confounding LP that draws from jazz, tech-

no, and ambient styles. Standout track “Total Care Zero” flirts with a four-on-the-floor kick but seems more interested in the sounds at the margins: bird-like synths, drum-circle rhythms, and ambient swells. And while it may take its name from a Listerine label, the song’s title underscores the LP’s “no fucks —Chris Kelly given” ethos.

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Best Instagram Oppo The Renwick Gallery

1661 Pennsylvania Ave NW, (202) 633-1000, renwick.americanart.si.edu

It isn’t even a question. “Wonder,” the inaugural exhibition at the Renwick Gallery following its two-year renovation, was the

trending-est topic of any D.C. visual event of the last year. Taylor Swift’s 1989 stop at Nationals Park may not have generated as many selfies as the nine-installation show. What happens next is bound to disappoint the Renwick Gallery’s rabid new fans: The museum is ostensibly devoted to craft and decorative arts. Its collection is

An evening of musical innovation hosted by Mason Bates THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OF AMERICA Benjamin T. Rome School of Music

&Soiree

MASON BATESÕS

Opera Musical Theatre

Anything you can do, we can do too!

KC JUKEBOX

TONIGHT! THU, APR 7

AOIFE O'DONOVAN MARK ERELLI

APRIL 10, 2016 • 3 P.M. HERITAGE HALL Tickets at music.cua.edu. Please call 202-319-5414 or email cua-music@cua.edu to request disability accommodations.

FRI, APR 8

THE AIZURI QUARTET DEBUT ARTIST CHAMBER MUSIC AT THE BARNS

A BANDHOUSE GIGS TRIBUTE TO RANDY NEWMAN

THE NIGHTHAWKS, GRANDSONS, CRAVIN’ DOGS, DIXIE POWER TRIO, AND RUTHIE & THE WRANGLERS SAT, APR 9

BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA

Featuring innovative responses to old forms, poetry from the distant past, and ancient instruments, this concert led by Mason Bates, the Kennedy Center’s Composer-in-Residence, includes large-scale vocal works by Donnacha Dennehy and Anna Clyne.

Free After-Party Electronic violist DOMINIC JOHNSON CASH BAR

DJ MASONIC Your ticket includes a free drink voucher

April 18 at 8 p.m. | Atrium

THU, APR 14

AND MANY MORE!

TICKET S $20!

1 6 3 5 T R A P R D, V I E N N A , VA 2 2 1 8 2

Thank you for voting us one of the

“BEST ARTS FESTIVALS” ✴

see you at this year’s

Downtown Holiday Market NOVEMBER 25 DECEMBER 23, 2016

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400. New Artistic Initiatives are funded in honor of Linda and Kenneth Pollin.

✴

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 67

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best Performance Space for Smaller Groups, Staff Pick: Anacostia Arts Center

rather more polite than the floor-to-ceiling showstoppers of “Wonder,” so its follow-up exhibit may stun viewers who have come to think of it as the ‘Gramming Museum. A new way to pitch the Renwick’s sturdy collection is welcome, but the museum should stop short of hanging an animated neon shingle on the front of its building. —Kriston Capps

Best Way to Learn About D.C. History “Twelve Years That Shook and Shaped Washington: 1963–1975”

Anacostia Community Museum, 1901 Fort Place SE, (202) 633-4820, anacostia.si.edu

For a crash course in local politics and the rise of Mayor-for-Life Marion Barry, read Tom Sherwood and Harry Jaffe’s Dream City. But

68 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

to learn how D.C. came to be known as Chocolate City and how urban planning decisions led to the transformation of neighborhoods, residents must climb the Morris Street hill to see the Anacostia Community Museum’s latest offering. Through videos, maps, and text, the expansive exhibition looks at everything from the rise of go-go music and the Washington Color School to the emergence of gay and immigrant activists. As the city continues to rapidly

evolve, this exhibition helps explain why. The curated soundtrack of period songs playing in the adjoining resource room transports visitors —Caroline Jones deeper into the era.

Best Music Festival Trillectro

trillectro.com

Since 2012, Trillectro has highlighted the

GREAT PERFORMANCES AT MASON VISIT US AT CFA.GMU.EDU

S T E I N WAY P I A N O G A L L E R Y WASHINGTON D.C.

SERIES SPONSOR

Moscow Festival Ballet

Virginia Opera

SATURDAY, APRIL 16 AT 8 P.M.

SATURDAY, APRIL 23 AT 8 P.M. SUNDAY, APRIL 24 AT 2 P.M. With hauntingly beautiful music and inspired by Wagner’s own dangerous sea voyage, The Flying Dutchman’s story of the phantom seafarer on an endless quest for redemption through true love and the adoring young woman who has vowed to save him has fascinated opera lovers since its premiere in 1843. Sung in German with English supertitles. $98, $80, $48

Giselle

Swan Lake SUNDAY, APRIL 17 AT 4 P.M. This acclaimed ballet company brings two classical ballets to our stage with gorgeous costumes and colorful sets: the poignantly romantic tale of Giselle and the exquisite fantasy Swan Lake. “Dramatic expression and sensational steps.” (The Chronicle, Duke University) Each show: $56, $48, $34

The Flying Dutchman

Keyboard Conversations® with Jeffrey Siegel Musical Pictures

SUNDAY, MAY 8 AT 7 P.M. For his final concert of the season, Mr. Siegel serves up a musical feast that envisions glorious sights through rapturous sounds. In a delightful performance, he provides illuminating insight into visually inspired short pieces by Debussy and Rachmaninoff and Ravel’s ever-popular Pictures at an Exhibition. “A first-class musician who can sketch and color with greatness.” (The London Times) $40, $34, $24 ff

ff = Family Friendly performances that are most suitable for families with younger children

TICKETS

888-945-2468 OR CFA.GMU.EDU

Located on the Fairfax campus, six miles west of Beltway exit 54 at the intersection of Braddock Road and Rt. 123. washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 69

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

BEST HoMEToWN HERo WHo MADE GooD

Kelela soundcloud.com/kelelam

Best Place to Hide From the World, Staff Pick: E Street Cinema beautiful friendship between hip-hop and electronic music with a lineup that features both local and national talent. Unfortunately, it has also been hampered by long lines, noise complaints, unexpected rainstorms, and dude-heavy bills. Trillectro got everything right in 2015, though, paring down its lineup and taking advantage of the spacious confines of its new home, Merriweather Post Pavilion. Women and queer artists were finally a significant part of the lineup, with Kehlani, Barf Troop, TT the Artist, and Ayes Cold providing some of the day’s most memorable performances. Main-stagers D.R.A.M. and Chance the Rapper proved that the

genre-mingling with which Trillectro literally made its name is not going anywhere —Chris Kelly anytime soon.

Best Place to Record a Live Episode of Your Podcast Sixth & I Historic Synagogue

600 I St. NW, (202) 408-3100, sixthandi.org

When recording a live episode of your podcast, you need a spot with good acoustics and comfortable seats for your audience. After all, your fans might be sitting for several hours. Where better, in that case, than a house of worship? Sound carries well in both Sixth & I’s large sanctuary and its

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smaller downstairs venue, and each space feels intimate enough for listeners to actually connect with the hosts they’ve until now only heard. With high-tech projection setups, you’re able to get a full multimedia experience, whether you’re listening to two guys gab about Gilmore Girls or hearing the Slate crew break down the latest election news. Oh, and did I mention the wine —Caroline Jones in sippy cups?

Best Construction Wall Art Farmers Market Mural 5th and K streets NW

With development comes construc-

When she performed at U Street Music Hall in November, Kelela was so overcome by emotion that she had to stop and restart a song. It was understandable: The homecoming gig was her first headlining show in D.C., which she left for Los Angeles five years prior, embarking on a path that has taken the District-born, Gaithersburg-raised singer-songwriter from zero to 100, real quick. Before moving to L.A., Kelela searched for her sound while attending American University, singing jazz standards at HR-57 and Cafe Nema and even toying with indie and progmetal. But once she moved, Kelela quickly found her musical soulmates through fortuitous friends-of-friends connections, collaborating with the members of label-collectives Fade to Mind and Night Slugs. She released her debut mixtape Cut 4 Me in 2013, scoring rave reviews for its groundbreaking mix of R&B sensuality and envelope-pushing club beats. Kelela was soon featured on Solange Knowles’ Saint Heron compilation, cementing her status as an artist-to-watch, just as so-called alternative R&B was becoming the sound of the mainstream. She started hitting the studio with a who’s who of buzzworthy artists including Arca, who has collaborated with Björk, Kanye West, and FKA twigs. Those efforts resulted in Hallucinogen, a sixsong EP released last fall by influential British label Warp Records. Hallucinogen explores the life cycle of a relationship, from tentative flirtation and blissful infatuation to life-affirming sex and painful breakup. The EP built on the already-polished sound of Cut 4 Me, with Kelela finding even more confidence in her singing and songwriting. Highlight “Rewind” bounces like a So So Def track from the future; the song served as the unofficial soundtrack for Big Four fashion shows last September. Next up for Kelela is her long-awaited debut album. Due sometime this spring, she has named a few collaborators but released little other information about it. “Everyone says your first album is all life experience and it’s a little overwhelming,” she told Dazed earlier this year. “If I’m going to say something about the debut album, it’s this: It goes from zero to 20. Just like real life.” —Chris Kelly

Andile Ndlovu by Dean Alexander

The Outwin 2016 American Portraiture Today Through January 8, 2017

riations a V d n a e m e ’s Th & Balanchine April 13–17 The Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater

kennedy-center.org | 202.467.4600 washingtonballet.org

JOI N US T H I S SPR I NG F OR A SOU N D L I K E NO OT H E R . Conducted by GRAMMY® Award winner, Robert Shafer

handel

MESSIAH PART III tavener R EQUIEM FR AGMENTS < a mer ican

pr emier e >

beethoven ELEGISCHER GESANG, OPUS 118 Sunday, April 10, 2016 | 4:30 pm National Presbyterian Church, Washington, D.C.

duruflé

R EQUIEM shafer PSALM 121 : I WILL LIFT UP MINE EYES Sunday, June 5, 2016 | 4:30 pm Saint Luke Catholic Church, McLean, Virginia Tickets: $15-$50. Student and group discounts available.

VISIT CITYCHOIR.ORG OR CALL 571-206-8525

See contemporary art from the winners of The Outwin Boochever Portrait Competition.

8th and F St. NW • Washington, DC 20001 • npg.si.edu

Sedrick, Sed, Daddy, Sedrick Huckaby, 2014. Beverly and George Palmer; courtesy of Valley House Gallery & Sculpture Garden, Dallas, Texas © Sedrick Huckaby

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 71

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Best New (Old) Museum, Staff Pick: National Museum of Women in the Arts

tion, and in D.C. it seems like every other block is being boarded up as rowhouses give way to condos and boutique hotels. But while chain-link fencing and corporate ads surround most construction sites, a few—mostly on the dime of Business Improvement Districts—feature paintings and

portraits that reflect a neighborhood’s character. One of the best examples is found at the corner of 5th and K streets NW, across from Busboys and Poets, where a mural by Rose Jaffe and Cita Sadeli depicts residents at a local farmers market. The paintings, which include sketches of people picking

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and preparing fruits and vegetables, provide a warm and folksy layer to a streetscape increasingly dominated by cold glass and exposed steel beams. It’s little gestures like this that can make city blocks more human and vibrant as their facades are renovated —Quinn Myers or changed forever.

Best District-Centric Instagram Account We The People DC

instagram.com/wethepeopledc

Constitutionally-themed entities typically invite strict scrutiny (see: The Federalist

Call to schedule studio time today.

240-505-5544

BlueRoomMusicStudio.com

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all about the music! Come and hear for yourself.

Thanks for voting us one of the BEST JAZZ JAM SESSIONS 2016

6914 4th Street, NW | (202) 829 - 1999 | www.takomastation.com

Best Strip Club in NW DC 2014, 2015, 2016 City Top 3 for Best Boys Night Out in 2015 byPaperWashington Readers

Great Food, Great Drinks, & Beautiful Dancers 2 3 1 1 W I S C O N S I N AV E N W. ,

by Washington City Paper Readers

opens at noon with 3 non-stop stages with all nude dancers

Bachelor Party Headquarters of DC

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 73

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Society), but crowdsourced @wethepeopledc offers a refreshing Living Document “view of our nation’s Capital from the perspective of its people.” The account’s creators—Macon Lowman and Katelyn Bryant-Comstock— give a person or group control of the handle for a day. The result is often hit-or-miss: Spectators will be exposed to Nashville- or Clarendon-filtered (no pun) pics of iced coffee, wine, and pizza, but also non-ironic and elucidating ones of cool local organizations, hidden gems, and cute pets. Follow for the upworthy stuff, scroll past the minutiae of ev—Andrew Giambrone eryday life.

Best Busking Spot, Staff Pick: Dupont Circle South

Best Tiny Movie Theater West End Cinema

2301 M St. NW, (202) 534-1907, landmarktheatres.com

Best Place to Rub Shoulders With Supreme Court Justices Arena Stage

1101 6th St. SW, (202) 554-9066, arenastage.org

It’s a well-documented fact that many of the nation’s current Supreme Court justices are arts aficionados. You’ll find them at the opera and at book parties, but you’ll also frequently find them at Arena Stage’s complex on the Southwest Waterfront. Whether it’s because the theater’s programming aligns with their interests (Arena did debut a play about late Associate Justice Antonin Scalia in 2015) or they’re just eager to take in some excellent drama, the chief jurors seem to enjoy their evenings at the theater whether they’re on stage (Ruth Bader Ginsberg recited a monologue in 2014’s Our War) or in the audience. A recent sighting of Sonia Sotomayor nearly brought my date to tears. —Caroline Jones

Best Playhouse Concession Stand Ali’s Bar

Signature Theatre, 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington, (703) 820-9771, sigtheatre.org

Signature Theatre occupies a unique place in the D.C. theater ecosystem: It’s the only major company devoted primarily (not exclusively) to musicals. It also occupies a hardto-reach place in the D.C. theater ecosystem: The Village at Shirlington, more than three bike-unfriendly miles from the nearest Metro station. (Bus transit times from the Pentagon stop range from 10 minutes to infinity, roughly.) Food and drink options in Shirlington are abundant and varied, but if your schedule is such that you need to eat at the theater—because you were waiting a long time for a bus, let’s say—the onsite Ali’s Bar has a smallish but decent selection of small plates, salads, sandwiches, flatbreads, and snacks, including vegan and gluten-free options, for under $10 per item. (Housemade chocolate chip cookies are $3.) The lineup of wine and beer (draft and bottled) varies, but it’s good and no pricier than at the surrounding bars and restaurants. Its menu is online,

endary steps, with a catchy, surf-y refrain: “I’ll take you there/ I’ll take you there/ Oh baby, the Exorcist stairs.” Forget Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells, someone should recut the opening of the film with Spiv’s song. —Matt Cohen

and Ali’s opens 90 minutes prior to each per—Chris Klimek formance.

Best Excuse for Civil War Nostalgia

Best Go-Go Cover

Mercy Street

Backyard Band’s “Hello”

When PBS announced that Mercy Street, a Civil War-era drama set in Alexandria, would air alongside the final season of Downton Abbey, audiences hoped for another soap opera, full of lavish costumes and manipulative relationships. What they got was a hospital show with plenty of gore (extended shots of leg amputations and gangrenous wounds) but very little sex appeal. Southern accents, it turns out, are less charming than British ones. The city of Alexandria doesn’t care, however; its cultural calendar is filled with lectures and activities celebrating the series and the real people who worked in its Civil War–era hospitals. By the time the series’ second season debuts, don’t be surprised to see King Street filled with hoop-skirted cosplayers and Ken —Caroline Jones Burns fangirls.

backyardbanddc.com

Go-go’s infatuation with contemporary pop music is nothing new: Bands have been covering pop songs for nearly as long as the homegrown music genre has been around (Go Go Lorenzo & The Davis Pinckney Project’s well-known cover of “Safety Dance” came out in 1986). But there’s something special about Backyard Band’s excellent, sensuous cover of Adele’s “Hello.” With a funky bass line and that classic pocket beat, the go-go stalwarts managed to turn a sappy piano ballad into a dancehall classic. —Matt Cohen

Best Place to Hide From the World E Street Cinema

555 11th St. NW, (202) 783-9494, landmarktheatres.com

Are you trying to avoid contact with the person you’re ghosting? Are you playing hooky from work and avoiding emails from your boss? The best place to hide and engage in a little cultural consumption at the same time is E Street Cinema, home to eight screens that show some of the best independent flicks and pretty much no cell reception. As an added bonus, films screen nearly all day, with early shows starting around noon and midnight special features lasting into the wee hours of the morning. If you’re trying to watch a film without any distractions, this is the place to do it. If you’re simply disengaging with the world, at least you’ll be entertained —Caroline Jones while it happens.

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pbs.org/mercy-street

Best Song About the Exorcist Steps

on a recent Saturday afternoon, the threescreen West End Cinema played Carol, a tale of lesbian love starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara set in the 1950s. Getting tickets was a seamless experience: An electronic machine at the front of the theater dispensed admission with just a few clicks. The clientele skewed older, reflective of the neighborhood and, perhaps, the tastes of those who appreciate independent films—Landmark’s signature material. As fate would have it, the theater closed temporarily for renovations in March and reopened on April 1. Hello, bigger screens and “plush leather seating.” —Andrew Giambrone

Best Adult Playground Posing as a Museum The National Building Museum

401 F St. NW, (202) 272-2448, nbm.org

If you go to the National Building Museum for a museum, you’ll come away disappointed. The exhibits aren’t worth the $10 entrance fee, and the lonely gaps between them can make it seem more like the National Building Office Park. Instead, embrace the “museum” for what it is: a home for pricey, Instagram-friendly installations during the summer. This all kicked off a with a mini-golf course years ago. But considering its exhibits since then—the museum has been filled with beach-style plastic balls and a huge maze— mini-golf seems quaintly unambitious. This summer, they’ll fill the Great Hall with a sort of iceberg—the best evidence yet that, when it comes to understanding the Building Museum, it’s better just go with the flow. —Will Sommer

Best-Dressed Band

Escape-ism’s “Exorcist Stairs”

Governess

In october of 2015, one of D.C.’s most recognizable landmarks—the Exorcist Steps—finally got the recognition it’s always deserved: It was commemorated by the District government, with Exorcist director William Friedkin and scribe William Peter Blatty joined by Mayor Muriel Bowser and other city officials for a big ceremony. Around the same time, the stairs were immortalized in a different way, by local punk legend Ian Svenonius in a song recorded under his latest solo project, Escapeism. In it, Svenonius romanticizes the leg-

Getting The Look down isn’t an easy feat. Consciously or not, every band has a certain look to it. For some, it’s deliberate and fantastical and extravagant. For others, it’s merely a direct reflection of its members’ personal style. Governess—the surf-pop trio of Erin McCarley, Kieca Mahoney, and Kim Weeks—combines these two ideas to create its aesthetic, and it’s almost as good as the reverb-drenched brand of power-pop it plays. At the shows I’ve been to, McCarley, Mahoney, and Weeks sported matching, homemade

soundcloud.com/escape-ism-748201374

facebook.com/governessdc

DC BRAU 5 YEAR ANNIVERSARY MUSIC + BEER FESTIVAL APRIL 16 TH THE SWORD

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT dresses—different ones each time. For a show that celebrated the 20th anniversary of Lorelei’s debut album, its members plastered the dresses with rows of oversized googly eyes. At Polyon’s tape release show, the outfits were cut from thick wool fabric. It might be a minor detail in the overall context of the band, but it leaves an impression. —Matt Cohen

Best Place to Be Seduced or Enraged by a Play Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company

641 D St. NW, (202) 393-3939, woollymammoth.net

oK, so it’s been a few years since D.C.’s most provocative theater company had an artistic grand slam like Clybourne Park (2010) or Mr. Burns (2012) or Stupid Fucking Bird (2013). The point of origin for so many of the 21st century’s best plays (its Clybourne Park was the second production, but only by a matter of weeks)—as well as the most infuriatingly self-absorbed, grossest, most tone-deaf show I’ve ever seen—will not be ignored. Woolly’s four homegrown shows during the 201415 season were more bold than brilliant, but none were boring. More recently, Rajiv Joseph’s Guards at the Taj was haunting. And with Jennifer Hale’s The Nether and Branden Jacobs-Jenkins’ An Octoroon around the corner, Woolly, even at the ripe old age of 36, is showing no interest in playing it safe. Thank —Chris Klimek goodness.

Best Idea That Won’t Die Districtland

districtlandshow.com

What if HBo’s Girls ditched Brooklyn for a Shaw beer garden? That’s the conceit behind Districtland, a 2014 Capital Fringe hit that enjoyed a strange second life this year as a web series pilot. In both iterations, an ungainly plot about a set of group-house roommates veers between congressional peccadilloes and expired LivingSocial gags. Why did this exist once, much less twice? The web series faces an uncertain future, but the Districtland concept is nothing if not hard to kill. Expect a —Will Sommer theme park in 2018.

Best Fan Turned Scholar Tolonda Henderson

GW’s Gelman Library, 2130 H St. NW, (202) 994-4758, library.gwu.edu

Tolonda Henderson works as a librarian at George Washington University, but she’s also a scholar of an unusual topic: Harry Potter. “There would’ve been a time where studying Shakespeare would’ve been a fluff topic,” says Henderson, who’s led workshops at local libraries, presented papers at several conferences, and was published in From Here to Hogwarts: Essays on Harry Potter Fandom and Fiction. She’s written about the visual culture of the Potter world, analyzed the use of the library space in the books, and described how

Best Place to Record a Live Episode of Your Podcast, Staff Pick: Sixth & I Historic Synagogue disabilities are presented via a world of wizards. Buffy the Vampire Slayer tends to take the spotlight in the academic world, she says, but Henderson likes Harry Potter because of its characters’ complexity. Neville Longbot—Allison Kowalski tom is her favorite.

Best Place to Hide Out With a Book for Hours Dupont Circle Teaism

2009 R St. NW, (202) 667-3827, teaism.com

It can feel like the patrons of every coffee shop are involved in an unspoken contest to see who can look the most stressed while answering emails. You can see the panicked expression in any laptop-bag-carrier’s eyes as she collects her red eye and scans the room for a workspace. But there’s a safe haven for those

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looking to camp out with a book instead of pretending they’re doing more than just surfing Facebook for hours. The upstairs space at Teaism’s Dupont Circle location is Wi-Fi free, effectively eliminating the background track of keyboard clicking. You can curl up with your pot of tea, and go to town on that reading list from last year you never started. —Allison Kowalski

Best Performance Space for Smaller Groups Anacostia Arts Center

1231 Good Hope Road SE, (202) 631-6291, anacostiaartscenter.com

The black box theater at the Anacostia Arts Center on Good Hope Road SE is not remarkable compared to the District’s oth-

er black box theaters: Its walls are painted black, its performance space is a small area of the floor, and its generic chairs are on generic risers. But what makes it special is its location—away from the theater-jammed Northwest, in the Anacostia neighborhood—and its affordability to smaller groups. In the past few months, the black box theater has hosted Denim Theatre’s production of Love in the Time of HIV, IAMAMAN Productions’ Matter of Black, and Contradiction Dance’s “CODE SWITCH,” shows that prominently featured black performers. And with a space rental rate that starts at $125 for a matinee performance by a nonprofit, to $325 for an evening performance during the weekend, it’s a space that’s open to nearly everyone at a price that allows groups to keep their ticket —Sarah Anne Hughes prices low.

Fri & Sat, Apr. 8 & 9 at Midnight! Buy Advance Tickets Online

tickets.landmarktheatres.com FEATURING LIVE SHADOW CAST SONIC TRANSDUCERS!

Friends Night Out Smithsonian Craft Show A special shopping experience Featuring Fine American Craft and Fine American-Crafted Cocktails

Thursday, April 21, 2016 5:00-8:00pm at the National Building Museum 401 F St, NW, Washington, DC, Judiciary Square Metro on the Red Line Details At:

http://smithsonianassociates.org/ ticketing/tickets/reserve.aspx?ID=234494

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

BEST NEW VENUE

Songbyrd Music House and Record Cafe 2477 18th St. NW, (202) 450-2917, songbyrddc.com

It takes a lot to bring D.C.’s hardcore punk community to the heart of Adams Morgan on any given night, let alone a Friday. But that’s exactly what Songbyrd Music House and Record Cafe did last December, when they booked Baltimore/D.C./Ohio hardcore outfit Turnstile for a free, all-ages show. It’s just one of the many smart booking choices that’s made the freshman

venue one of the best in the city. No small feat, considering the number of revered music venues and DIY spots throughout the District. Credit where credit’s due: Songbyrd’s owners, Alisha Edmonson and Joe Lapan, made the smart move of hiring Babe City Records’ Jon Weiss and Peter Lillis to manage booking, marketing, and publicity. With Babe City, Weiss and Lillis have been at the forefront of D.C.’s

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booming DIY scene for years, and at Songbyrd, they’ve managed to carry on that legacy, booking a healthy mix of some of the city’s best local bands, buzzy up-and-comers from across the country, and diverse bills spread across all genres. In any given week, you can spend every night at Songbyrd, and it’ll never feel repetitious: A four-band bill of some of the Dis-

trict’s best punk bands; a night of experimental, avant garde, and jazz music as part of the monthly The Preparation series; a tribute to jazz legend Billie Holiday; and a tour of buzzy indie bands poised to score a respectable 8.3 from Pitchfork with their next releases. It’s just the kind of varied, diverse booking that can make a new venue in D.C. thrive. —Matt Cohen

EXPLORE THE NEW

Get your order right.

LEARN FRENCH

ARTIST TALKS

Alliance Française de Washington

Artist Jennifer Angus and Entomologist Seán Brady Sunday, April 10, 2 p.m. Artist Janet Echelman Saturday, April 16, 2 p.m. Artist Patrick Dougherty Friday, May 20, 5:30 p.m. Artist Gabriel Dawe Thursday, June 23, 5:30 p.m. CLOSING MAY 8! Installations by Jennifer Angus, Chakaia Booker, John Grade, and Maya Lin CLOSING JULY 10! Installations by Gabriel Dawe, Patrick Dougherty, and Tara Donovan

BOISSO

francedc.org

Pennsylvania Ave. at 17th St. NW | Open 10 am–5:30 pm AmericanArt.si.edu/Renwick | #RenwickGallery

N O S S POI

Jennifer Angus, In the Midnight Garden (detail), 2015 Photo by Ron Blunt

SUNDAY SEPT. 25, 2016 11AM - 7PM Pennsylvania Avenue NW between 12th & 14th Streets

www.turkishfestival.org

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT BEST PLACE To DANCE LIKE YoU’RE IN A PHoToSHooT

Flash

645 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 827-8791, flashdc.com

Behind the two wooden doors that lead to Flash, a nightclub on Florida Avenue NW, is an intriguing space. On one side of the first floor is a bar; on the other, a dance floor with a DJ playing a blend of house, techno, and hiphop. On a Friday night, in some great weather, people can see Flash’s liveness from the

street. The club has tables and chairs so patrons can chill out and enjoy the music. Pretty good, right? Well, that’s not all. There’s a twist to Flash that makes it the place to be in the D.C. nightlife scene. There are two ways to get to the second level: You can go directly to a stairway with a ton of dope graffiti artwork on the walls, or you can reach the

stairs through… the booth. It’s a photo booth, to be exact, where people can have their picture taken before they enter the flip side of Flash: a vibrant club where lights flash with the beats and mixes the DJ is currently playing. There’s a path of lights on the walls that lead to the DJ booth, where a group of camera lights flash every time the bass drops. It

can feel like you’re dancing in a photoshoot. With events like DC to BC’s popular VICES dance nights—which happen to feature the best DJs in the District—Flash is becoming a well-recognized venue for performances and parties. It’s definitely the place to slide through on a Saturday night. Hope you’re —Vance Brinkley ready to take pictures.

BEST VoLUNTEER PUBLIC RADIo DJ DURING A BLIzzARD

WPFW’s James Funk wpfwfm.org/radio

“I feel like we are essential like a fire department, [the] armed forces, or the police department,” says James “Jas” Funk, a volunteer DJ at public radio station WPFW 89.3 FM. On Jan. 23, as a blizzard blanketed the D.C. area in a record-breaking amount of snow, Funk kept the station that plays jazz, soul, blues, news, and more on the air from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Early that morning, with much of the city shut down, Funk got in his four-wheel-drive vehicle and headed to WPFW’s studio at 1990 K St. NW with a bunch of CDs he intended

to play during the “Oldies House Party” and “House of Soul” shows he always co-hosts between 10 a.m. and noon. Funk, who is also a DJ and go-go talker for Proper Utensils and Rare Essence, was also scheduled to fill in for the host of the bluesy “Roots and Fruits,” which ends at 2 p.m. But Funk soon realized he would also be guesting for the hosts of later shows, too: the funkier “Southern Soul Rumpin” and the Motown-friendly “The Andrea Bray Show.” Alone in the studio, Funk did his best to pick music that stayed true to the themes of each

show, log the song titles into WPFW’s website, answer the phone when he could, and engage in his usual amiable on-air chatter, which on this day included snow-plow talk. With the freedom that only a public radio station like WPFW can offer, Funk played bouncy three-minute R&B tracks from the Clovers and when he needed a breather, 14plus-minute psychedelia-influenced tracks from the likes of Rare Earth and Iron Butterfly. Midday he presented gritty Etta James numbers, early afternoon included the Nellie “Tiger” Travis stomper “Mr. Sexy Man,”

and by evening, he dispensed lush soul like the Dells’ “Dry Your Eyes.” At 7 p.m., Funk turned over the studio to Program Director Katea Stitt, who also spent a lot of hours onair that weekend. Funk used to work long days at a post office and says he is thankful for the calls he got that day, but he “wasn’t looking for any accolades.” “It felt good that I touched a lot of people and touched their hearts. But it was just part of my duties as part of the station.” —Steve Kiviat

BEST NEW (oLD) MUSEUM

National Museum of Women in the Arts 1250 New York Ave. NW, (202) 783-5000, nmwa.org

It’s been dazzling to watch the transformation of the National Museum of Women in the Arts. It started in 2014 with “Total Art,” a straightforward and satisfying show of video artworks by 10 contemporary women artists, including rising stars (Alex Prager) and longtime favorites (Pipilotti Rist). The wave continued that year with a sharp new projection by Soda_Jerk, a two-person collective. With “Super Natural” and “Organic Matters,” two broad group shows examining the relationship between women and nature, the National Museum of Women in the Arts all but announced its new direction: as a significant voice in contemporary art in Washington, D.C. This change is a long time in com-

ing. True, over this span, the museum also mounted “Picturing Mary: Woman, Mother, Idea,” a traditional show whose only real flaw was that it contained no contemporary visions of Mary (as a woman of color, for example, or an abstract concept). Notwithstanding the occasional blockbuster, the National Museum of Women in the Arts is dedicating more and more space and recognition to women who are practicing art today, at a time when gallery and museum exhibitions alike are still dominated by men. Museums in D.C. have mixed records on showing art by both sexes. At the Phillips Collection, the American and European masterworks hanging on the walls are overwhelmingly artworks by men, but the

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museum’s contemporary-projects series, “Intersection,” features many more women than men. The Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden has a decent record on showing new works by women, although its collection is also a men’s club. Women simply don’t rank at the National Gallery of Art. So the National Museum of Women in the Arts serves as an important balance to these institutions. It’s like Ruth Bader Ginsburg says: How many women will be enough on the Supreme Court? When there are nine. The National Museum of Women in the Arts still has work to do. It has not organized a significant show by a living African-American artist in at least the last decade—if ever.

(Some traveling exhibits, like a 2013 survey of Faith Ringgold, have stopped over.) The museum could do more to recognize local women artists and engage directly with the District, whose residents ought to be its strongest constituency. The museum could stand to borrow edgier traveling shows and mount more short-term projects. Something about the National Museum of Women in the Arts still feels fusty—as if there’s a fiber show always lurking just around the corner. With a couple of truly unexpected, off-kilter shows, the museum could easily put that reputation behind it. A change of the museum’s name and a sleeker brand wouldn’t hurt. In the meantime, the museum is making —Kriston Capps all the right decisions.

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THANK YOU

Thank YOU for FOR NOMINATING nominating

’S ENRY

MR. H

Celebrating 50 Years On Capitol Hill

Best Jazz Jam Sesson

The Capitol Hill Jazz Jam Every Wednesday Night 8-11pm

tionsts a l u t ra tis Congtured Ar Fea

AaronMyers II

2016 “Best performance artist” top 3 Performing at Henry’s 4/22 & 5/27

Tacha Coleman Parr, 2016

“best singer” top 3 Performing at Henry’s 5/7 & 6/4

Weekly Live Music at Henry’s Upstairs Our Historic Venue Wed. Thur. Fri. Sat.

Capital Hill Jazz Jam Bluegrass & Americana Jazz “Ladies of Jazz” Series

601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE 202-546-8412 WWW.MRHENRYSDC.COM

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Best Obsessive DCRTV

dcrtv.com

The District’s radio and TV stations broadcast day and night, but one man is always listening. Blogger DCRTV—real name Dave Hughes—brings an intensity to local broadcast programming that’s part Adderall, part Unabomber. Hughes and his readers spend their days arguing over FCC licenses and news anchors’ outfits. DCRTV’s endless stream of entries and barebones HTML makes it look like a particularly gamey Notepad file, which adds to the analog charm. Forget WTOP—this is D.C. broadcasting’s real glass-enclosed nerve center. —Will Sommer

Best Local YouTube Genre Metro Fights

New Metro General Manager Paul Wiedefeld aims to turn the system around. He’s started with at least one top official’s resignation and an unprecedented day-long shutdown of the rail system. When Wiedefeld wants a break, though, maybe he should also consider why videoed fights on the Metro system make for such compulsive viewing. For a while, the reigning favorite was one where a little guy got up repeatedly, only to get smacked down by a much larger man. But last year brought us a new classic, in which a maybe-intoxicated white man veered from homophobia to racism. The passenger he set upon had his own weird turn, demanding that his aggressor “eat me for breakfast.” The video ends, inexplicably, with a third man jumping in to throw some punches. Why are these videos so crazy? Here’s hoping the new general manager will puzzle it out, maybe by starring in one of —Will Sommer his own.

Best Place to Roller Skate Anacostia Park Skating Pavilion

1500 Anacostia Drive SE, (202) 472-3884, nps.gov/anac

It may be unfair to call the Anacostia Park Skating Pavilion the best place to roller skate in D.C., because it is the only place to roller skate in D.C. (other than, ya know, the roads). To get the old-school roller rink experience, you have to go to Maryland—to Temple Hills Skate Palace, Lanham Skate Center, or Seabrook Skate Center. But in D.C., your one and only option is an outdoor, covered skating pad in Anacostia Park near the river. The good news: It’s great! The park, run by the National Park Service, offers free skate rentals during the summer. If you prefer to walk instead of roll, you can sit on the sidelines and watch people who are probably much better than you at skating do their thing. —Sarah Anne Hughes

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BEST HoPE FoR THE FUTURE oF D.C.’S ARTS CoMMUNITY

Union Arts facebook.com/UnionArtsDC

Look, there’s no easy way to put it: The sale of a warehouse at 411 New York Ave. NE, which houses the Union Arts collective, is a huge bummer. When news broke that the developers who bought the building plan to turn it into a boutique hotel, it was like a page ripped straight out of the book of gentrification. Even though developers D.B. Lee and Brooks Rose’s plan for the hotel includes an arts program that will feature studio space for local artists, among other amenities, it’s still a tough blow for the local arts community. But the way the community has rallied in support of Union Arts is a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak situation. At the first Zoning Commission hearing on the project (the developers need a zoning variance to build the hotel), dozens of people showed up en masse to tes-

tify against it—so many that the hearing spilled over into a second one. A third hearing is scheduled for later this month. This isn’t to say Union Arts can be saved. It can’t. The developers own the building and, no matter what happens after these Zoning Commission hearings, they’re going to knock down the building and replace it with something new and shiny. But these vocal protests by the local arts community have sent a loud and clear message to Mayor Muriel Bowser’s administration: She needs to do a better job at supporting local arts. The D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities’ most recent strategic plan states a need to identify “vacant and underutilized buildings” that can be sanctioned into affordable live-work spaces for artists. If the situation with Union Arts in any indication, it’s a something that should be made —Matt Cohen a priority.

G N I T VO

THANKS R O F R I A F S T F A R C & S T R A y t f a r c

! s d r a bast

ONE OF D.C.’S BEST ARTS FESTIVALS! SAVE THE DATE

CRAFTY BASTARDS 2016 SATURDAY OCT. 1 + SUNDAY OCT. 2 WASHINGTON, D.C.

CALL FOR VENDORS COMING SOON. Join the email list and follow @CraftyBastards for updates

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GOODS & SERVICES

Best Bike Shop, Readersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Pick: BicycleSPACE washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 87

Readers’ Picks GOODS & SERVICES

Best aCCoUnting Firm

Myrick CPA 805 15th St. NW, (202) 789-8898, myrickcpa.com Readers Say: “They make an onerous task easy.” Runners-Up: PricewaterhouseCoopers; Deloitte, Goodman & McAllister Chartered (tie)

Best alCohol deliverY

Best arChiteCtUre Firm

Best Bank/Credit Union

Readers Say: “Great design and attention to detail.”

Readers Say: “Unmatchable customer service.”

Readers Say: “These people are awesome.”

Runners-Up: PNC, USAA

Runners-Up: The Bike Rack, Capitol Hill Bikes

Best Barre stUdio

Best Book store

Muse Architects 7401 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, (301) 718-8118, musearchitects.com Runners-Up: Wiebenson & Dorman Architects PC, FOX Architects

Best arts & CraFts sUpplY store

Drizly drizly.com

Blick Art Materials Multiple Locations, dickblick.com

Readers Say: “For drizzle.” Runners-Up: Klink, Minibar

Navy Federal Credit Union Multiple Locations, (888) 842-6328, navyfederal.org

Pure Barre Multiple Locations, purebarre.com

Readers Say: “The go-to shop for artists. And they deliver!”

Readers Say: “I dropped all my other gym memberships and exercise programs in favor of PBDC.”

Runners-Up: Plaza Artist Materials, Michaels

Runners-Up: Biker Barre, Xtend Barre

Best Bike shop

BicycleSPACE Multiple Locations, bicyclespacedc.com

Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe 1517 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 387-1400, kramers.com Readers Say: “Where else can you get an excellent meal, great beer, scrumptious dessert, and a good book?” Runners-Up: Politics & Prose, Capitol Hill Books

Best BUs to new York

Tripper Bus Multiple Locations, tripperbus.com

Readers Say: “Super comfortable and reliable Wi-Fi!” Runners-Up: BoltBus, Megabus

Best CaBle provider

RCN Multiple Locations, rcn.com/dc-metro

Readers Say: “They’re all evil. RCN is just a tad less evil than the others.” Runners-Up: Verizon, None

Best Carshare serviCe

Uber uber.com

Readers Say: “I use almost daily.” Runners-Up: Car2Go, Global Express Limousine

Best Carpet Cleaners

Normandy Carpet 7621 Rickenbacker Drive, Gaithersburg, Md., (301) 740-2005, normandycarpet.com Runners-Up: Hadeed Carpet and Rug, Ayoub Carpet Service

Best Cell phone provider Pa id Ad ve rtis em ent

Verizon Multiple Locations, verizon.com/dc Readers Say: “Reliable.” Runners-Up: AT&T, T-Mobile

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goods & serviCes Best doCtor

Best Farmers Market, Readers’ Pick: Dupont Circle FRESHFARM Market

Steven Davison 3301 New Mexico Ave. NW, (202) 966-9590, davinciplastic.com Readers Say: “A perfectionist.” Runners-Up: One Medical Group, Howard Brooks

David Waguespack, Case Design Multiple Locations, casedesign.com

Runners-Up (Tie): Bright Horizons, Solnishko

Best CrossFit gYm

Best Children’s Clothing store

Little Birdies Boutique 1526 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 333-1059, shoplittlebirdies.com Readers Say: “Simply amazing!” Runners-Up: Dawn Price Baby, The Children’s Place

Best Clothing BoUtiqUe

Runners-Up: Traditions General Contracting, Karma Home Designs

CrossFit MPH 1457 Church St. NW, (202) 556-5304, crossfitmph.com Readers Say: “Meticulous coaching with one-on-one attention to form and function.” Runners-Up: Humble Beast Crossfit, CrossFit Petworth

Best danCe Class

Nubian Hueman 1231 Good Hope Road SE, (202) 394-3386, nubianhueman.com

Sahara Dance 4433 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 362-4400, saharadance.com

Readers Say: “The only place I can find African print clothing I just have to have!”

Readers Say: “The studio is such a welcoming place.”

Runners-Up: Violet Boutique, Rosies and Rockers Boutique

Runners-Up: Eric Ruiz Dance DC, Maryland Youth Ballet

Best Consignment shop

Best dentist

Secondi 1702 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 667-1122, secondi.com Readers Say: “All the great designers and knowledgeable staff make shopping here a fabulous experience!” Runners-Up: Current Boutique, Sage Consignment

Terry Victor 509 11th St. SE, (202) 544-3626, thedcdentist.com

The Flea at Eastern Market 7th Street SE between C Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, (703) 534-7612, easternmarket.net

Readers Say: “Always hated to go to the dentist before I went to Dr. Victor.” Runners-Up: Nishan Halim, Daniel Cave

Runners-Up: District Dogs, Anytime K9

Readers Say: “Consistent enough that you know what to expect each weekend, but still enough variety to find new items.”

Best doggie daYCare

Runners-Up: Georgetown Flea Market, The Arlington Civitan Open Air Market

Wagtime Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com

Best Flower shop

Readers Say: “Dogs love to romp and play there!”

Readers Say: “Lee’s representative traveled to France to make sure our daughter’s flowers for her wedding were beyond exceptional.”

Lee’s Flower and Card Shop 1026 U St. NW, (202) 265-4965, leesflowerandcard.com

Runners-Up: Your Dog’s Best Friends, City Dogs

Best drY Cleaner

The Press Dry Cleaning & Laundry Multiple Locations, thepressdc.com Readers Say: “They always have things ready on the date they promised and usually have it sooner.” Runners-Up: ZIPS Dry Cleaners; Besson’s Cleansing Inc., French’s Cleaners (tie)

Best event venUe

Josephine Butler Parks Center 2437 15th St. NW, (202) 462-7275, washingtonparks.net Runners-Up: National Building Museum, Newseum

Best eYe doCtor

All Eyes On Rockville 11921 Rockville Pike, Rockville, Md., (301) 984-3937, alleyesonrockville.com Readers Say: “Hannah and her staff are without peer. Caring, patient, thorough, and delightful.” Runners-Up: Dr. Ali Matini, MyEyeDr

Best FaCial

Dupont Circle FRESHFARM Market 20th Street NW between Massachusetts Avenue and Hillyer Place, freshfarmmarkets.org

Best Flea market

Readers Say: “They help with the leash training too.”

Hush Hush Little Baby Newborn Care (240) 347-2229, hushhushlittlebaby.com

Best Farmers market

Runners-Up: Eastern Market, Takoma Park Farmers Market

Wagtime Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com

Best ContraCtor

Runners-Up: Celadon Spa and Salon, Green Revolution Skin Studio

Readers Say: “Don’t mess with a good thing. Dupont farmers market is the right size, with the right variety.”

Best dog walk serviCe

Best Child Care

Readers Say: “My skin has never felt so soft after a visit. It was like when I was a baby.”

Jenny Luu Skin Care 5530 Wisconsin Ave., Chevy Chase, (301) 533-7546, jennyluuskincare.com

Runners-Up: UrbanStems, Little Shop of Flowers

Best Food deliverY serviCe

scratchDC (202) 505-5610, scratchdc.com Readers Say: “Awesome, healthy, and a breeze to put together!” Runners-Up: Postmates, Galley

Best Food market

Broad Branch Market 5608 Broad Branch Road NW, (202) 249-8551, broadbranchmarket.com Readers Say: “Not just a food, wine, and ice cream shop—a neighborhood nerve center!” Runners-Up: Little Red Fox, Glen’s Garden Market

Best garden store

Ginkgo Gardens 911 11th St. SE, (202) 543-5172, ginkgogardens.com Readers Say: “It is my gardening and spiritual oasis in the city.” Runners-Up: Frager’s Garden Center, Johnson’s Flower & Garden Center

Best green BUsiness

Community Forklift 4671 Tanglewood Drive, Hyattsville, (301) 985-5180, washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 89

goods & serviCes communityforklift.org

Best Food Market, Readers’ Pick: Broad Branch Market

Readers Say: “We love the variety of items we can find there, from cheap tile to antiques, from art items to practical vintage pieces. Plus, we have a place to take items we are finished with!!” Runners-Up: Love & Carrots, Maid Bright

Best groCer

Trader Joe’s Multiple Locations, traderjoes.com Runners-Up: Glen’s Garden Market, Whole Foods

Best gYm

Balance Gym Multiple Locations, balancegym.com Readers Say: “This is where ‘looking great’ and ‘feeling great’ intersect perfectly.” Runners-Up: VIDA Fitness, Elevate Interval Fitness

Best hair salon

Thomas Shelton Hair Design 2122 P St. NW, (202) 800-8816, thomassheltonhairdesign.com Readers Say: “Thomas even found color for my hyper-allergic scalp.” Runners-Up: Michael Anthony Salon, Salon XYZ

Best hair stYlist

Manuel Solorzano 3256 Jones Court NW, (202) 965-0484, manuelsalon.com Readers Say: “Absolutely the best at cutting, coloring, caring for, and styling hair!” Runners-Up: Ruby Devine, Alix Maya Clymer

Best handmade aCCessories

Hernan Gigena Art+ Design hernangigena.com Readers Say: “Each piece is made with the heart and designed with vision. I’ve worn several Hernan Gigena pieces throughout the years including at the Grammys.” Runners-Up: Ethic Goods, Crochet Kingpin Designs

Best handmade Clothing (tie)

DeNada 52 O St. NW, (202) 361-6507, denadadesign.com Trunk Club 525 9th St. NW, (202) 601-8701, trunkclub.com

Readers Say: “They offer all kinds of custom clothing including handmade pieces from Italy.”

Best handmade eCo-FriendlY prodUCts

Best handmade home deCor

Tanglewood Works 4641 Tanglewood Drive, Edmonston, (415) 595-9839, tanglewoodworks.com Readers Say: “Exciting range of items and styles.” Runners-Up (Tie): Curated, Hudson & Crane, If & When Workshop, Sill Life

Best handmade prodUCts For kids

Best handYman

Best home goods store

Readers Say: “Provide amazing services at an affordable price.”

Readers Say: “I can’t get out of there without buying something!”

Karma Home Designs 1300 I St. NW, (202) 642-4663, karmahomedesigns.com Runners-Up: Schedule Fred, Hourly Husbands

Runners-Up: Home Rule, Salt & Sundry

Best hardware store

Best hospital

Frager’s Hardware 1323 E St. SE, (202) 543-6157, fragersdc.com

SUMU-SU Natural Body Care 10802 Beech Creek Drive, Columbia, Md., (410) 422-7442, sumususoap.com

Yinibini Baby yinibinibaby.com Readers Say: “Their organic bibs are the only ones that work!”

Readers Say: “Even if Frager’s had not overcome the huge challenges of having the flagship burn down and moving around, it would still be the best.”

Runners-Up: Skincando, Herban Lifestyle

Runners-Up: U. S. Wood Toys!

Runners-Up: Logan Hardware, Annie’s Ace Hardware

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Urban Dwell 1837 Columbia Road NW, (202) 558-9087, urbandwelldc.com

Sibley Memorial Hospital 5255 Loughboro Road NW, (202) 537-4000, hopkinsmedicine.org Readers Say: “The most competent billing office in the area—makes best use of health insurance with minimum hassle.” Runners-Up: George Washington University Hospital, Virginia Hospital Center

Thank you for voting

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washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 91 3/22/16 10:23 AM

goods & serviCes Best indoor CYCling stUdio

4530 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 244-7326, middlecmusic.com Russell Woodwinds russellwoodwinds.com

Best Consignment Shop, Readers’ Pick: Secondi

Zengo Cycle Multiple Locations, zengocycle.com Readers Say: “Going to Zengo is like rebooting.”

Best organiC Food delivered to YoUr door

Runners-Up: Off Road Indoor Cycling, Flywheel

Washington’s Green Grocer 8741 Ashwood Drive, Capitol Heights, (301) 333-3696, washingtonsgreengrocer.com

Best lawYer

David Benowitz 409 7th St. NW, (202) 517-6810, criminallawdc.com

Readers Say: “Very, very happy with the quality of the produce and other products!”

Runners-Up: Noah Peters, Gary Altman

Best liFestYle Blog (tie)

Runners-Up: Relay Foods, Instacart

PoPville popville.com

Best painter

Karma Home Designs 1300 I St. NW, (202) 642-4663, karmahomedesigns.com

Readers Say: “Even though I hate it.”

We the Eaters wetheeaters.com

Runners-Up: Brightest Young Things

Readers Say: “Very reasonable pricing, clean, and work timely done.”

Best liqUor store

Runners-Up: Paintzen; Maximo Painting & Home Improvement, Tech Painting Company (tie)

Schneider’s of Capitol Hill 300 Massachusetts Ave. NE, (202) 543-9300, cellar.com

Best pawn shop

Crown Pawnbrokers 1726 14th St. NW, (202) 332-2522, crownpawnbrokers.com

Readers Say: “Great wine, best service.” Runners-Up: Sherry’s Wine & Spirits, Calvert Woodley Fine Wines & Spirits

Runners-Up: District Pawnbrokers, Metro Pawn

Best makeUp artist

Best personal trainer

Mimi Tran (240) 389-4526, makeupbymimitran.com

Fitness Together Multiple Locations, fitnesstogether.com Readers Say: “They are awesome!!”

Readers Say: “She’s got skills!”

Runners-Up: Deanna Jefferson, Delvin Tyler

Runners-Up: Hellooo Gorgeous, Greggory Marcus

Best pest Control

Best mani/pedi

Innovative Pest Management 8335 Guilford Road, Columbia, Md., (240) 755-0077, ipm4u.com

Izzy at Thomas Shelton Hair Design 2122 P St. NW, (202) 800-8816, thomassheltonhairdesign.com/ meet-izzy Readers Say: “She’s the best, very talented, and easy to talk to. Lovable person.” Runners-Up: Rosi at Salon Roi, Enchanted Nails & Spa

Best marijUana CUltivation sUpplier

Capital City Care 1334 North Capitol St. NW, (202) 670-4420, capitalcitycare.com Runners-Up (Tie): Capital City Hydroponics, Capitol Hemp, Takoma Wellness Center

Best martial arts Classes

Seichou Karate 807 N Royal St., Alexandria, (571) 257-5401, seichoukarate.com

Readers Say: “Joshua Kramer came to my house at 10 p.m. Saturday to check in the event that the raccoons were in the traps, and he didn’t want the animals to suffer. That’s service, commitment, and care for the animals.” Best med-spa

Best movers

Runners-Up: Orkin, Connor’s Termite and Pest Control

Gerrish & Associates Multiple Locations, (703) 255-5580, drgerrish.com

Bookstore Movers bookstoremovers.com

Best pet serviCes

Readers Say: “Dr. Gerrish is the most professional, talented, and personable doctor in the field of medical cosmetic procedures.” Runners-Up: Logan 14 Salon Spa, Unwind Wellness Center

Best men’s grooming loUnge

Readers Say: “Truly, a nurturing place to learn traditional Japanese martial arts for all ages.”

Barber of Hell’s Bottom Multiple Locations, barberofhellsbottom.com

Runners-Up: Capitol Hill Aikikai, BETA Academy

Runners-Up: The Grooming Lounge, Wise Owl Club

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Readers Say: “They are the best movers, in fact, the best company period. We have used them five times.” Runners-Up: JK Moving Services, Town & Country Movers

Best mUsiC lessons (tie)

7DrumLessons 2008 8th St. NW, (202) 643-7424, 7drumlessons.com Levine School of Music Multiple Locations, levinemusic.org Middle C Music

Sit-A-Pet, Inc. Multiple Locations, (202) 362-8900, sitapet.com Readers Say: “They are reliable and professional, and our cat is always mellow and contented when we return home.” Runners-Up: Wagtime, Lucy Huamani

Best pet shop

Wagtime Multiple Locations, wagtimedc.com Readers Say: “They always give us lots of free stuff to try.” Runners-Up: Metro Mutts, Howl to the Chief

Test Yourself at Home HIV / STD Free / No CoPay The project described was supported by Grant Number 1C1CMS331343 from the Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services. The contents of this advertisement are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services or any of its agencies.

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goods & serviCes Best photographY serviCes

Best Place to Buy Eyeglasses, Readers’ Pick: Warby Parker

Erin Scott Photography erinscottphotography.com

Readers Say: “My girl! She knows how to make someone with an ugly mug look like a superstar!” Runners-Up: Elena Lozina, Hannah Hudson Photography

Best pilates stUdio

Fuse Pilates Multiple Locations, fusepilates.com Readers Say: “Rock hard abs as a result of Fuse!” Runners-Up: Excel Pilates DC, District Pilates

Best plaCe to BUY a Car

CarMax Multiple Locations, carmax.com Runners-Up (Tie): Brown’s Car Stores, Craigslist, Koons

Best plaCe to BUY a sUit

Trunk Club 525 9th St. NW, (202) 601-8701, trunkclub.com Readers Say: “It’s a free service, and they do custom suits as well!” Runners-Up: Suitsupply, Nordstrom

Best plaCe to BUY Beer

Fenwick Beer and Wine 1327 Fenwick Lane, Silver Spring, (301) 650-5770, fenwickbeerandwine.com Readers Say: “Absolutely mind-boggling selection with friendly staff. Fenwick is the Taj Mahal of beer stores.” Runners-Up: Sherry’s Wine & Spirits, Total Wine & More

Best plaCe to BUY CandY

The Capital Candy Jar Multiple Locations, thecapitalcandyjar.com

Readers Say: “Makes your wildest confectionery dreams come true!” Runners-Up: IT’SUGAR, Sugar Factory

Best plaCe to BUY eYeglasses

Warby Parker Multiple Locations, warbyparker.com Readers Say: “Great selection, good prices, and outstanding staff.” Runners-Up: Georgetown Optician, MyEyeDr

Best plaCe to BUY FUr handCUFFs

Lotus Blooms 2408 18th St. NW, (202) 836-4474, lotusblooms.com

Readers Say: “The staff really understands the needs of communities like the queer community, poly, kinky, etc.” Runners-Up: Secret Pleasures Boutique, Harts Desires

Best plaCe to BUY home FUrnishings

Hudson & Crane 1781 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 4361223, hudsonandcrane.com Readers Say: “We wanted only furniture made in the USA, to support the local economy, and the store made sure we got what we wanted.” Runners-Up: Miss Pixie’s, Modern Mobler

Best plaCe to BUY instrUments

House of Musical Traditions 7010 Westmoreland Ave., Takoma Park, (301) 270-9090, hmtrad.com Readers Say: “This shop has everything, but

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it excels in string instruments and all sorts of drums.” Runners-Up: Chuck Levin’s Washington Music Center, Middle C Music

Best plaCe to BUY jewelrY

Legendary Beast 1520 U St. NW, (202) 797-1234, legendarybeast.com Readers Say: “You can tell Anne the occasion, your style, or what you are wearing, and she will instinctively know what to show you.” Runners-Up: Gala Artisan Jewelry & Gifts, Tiny Jewel Box

Best plaCe to BUY vinYl

Joint Custody

1530 U St. NW, (202) 643-8614, jointcustodydc.com Readers Say: “No reason to go anywhere else.” Runners-Up: Joe’s Record Paradise, Som Records

Best plaCe to BUY wine

DCanter 545 8th St. SE, (202) 817-3803, dcanterwines.com Readers Say: “Warm inviting atmosphere!” Runners-Up: Circle Wine & Spirits, Schneider’s of Capitol Hill

Best plaCe to get a tan

Body Bronze 625 D St. NW, (202) 393-8267, bodybronzedc.com

Home Organic Gardens

Design â&#x20AC;˘ Installation â&#x20AC;˘ Coaching

www.LoveAndCarrots.com

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goods & serviCes Best Place to Get Your Bike Fixed, Readers’ Pick: BicycleSPACE

Readers Say: “Amazing deals!” Runners-Up: Fit To Be Tan, Palm Beach Tan

Best plaCe to get waxed

(202) 543-0200 Readers Say: “Fairly priced and does only necessary work. Honesty is their watchword.”

M3 Massage & Spa 3070 M St. NW, (202) 333-6151, m3massage.com

Runners-Up: Auto Tech Service, Capitol Hill Auto Service Center

Runners-Up: Waxing with Aggy, Rosi at Salon Roi

UBreakiFix Multiple Locations, ubreakifix.com

Best plaCe to get YoUr Bike Fixed

BicycleSPACE Multiple Locations, bicyclespacedc.com

Readers Say: “Very friendly and incredibly knowledgeable. Super fair pricing.” Runners-Up: The Bike Rack, Capitol Hill Bikes

Best plaCe to get YoUr Car serviCed

Distad’s BP 823 Pennsylvania Ave. SE,

Best plaCe to get YoUr CraCked phone sCreen Fixed

Readers Say: “$100 in an hour for a cracked screen? Sure beats having to buy a new phone.” Runners-Up: CrackedMacScreen, Apple Store

Best plastiC sUrgeon

Steven Davison 3301 New Mexico Ave. NW, (202) 966-9590, davinciplastic.com Readers Say: “Explains in-depth what one can anticipate before/during/after a procedure.” Runners-Up: Saeed Marefat, Austin-Weston Center for Cosmetic Surgery

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Best plUmBer

Spartan Plumbing 1776 I St. NW, (202) 559-0339, spartanman.com Readers Say: “They fixed three separate problems we had in a half hour.” Runners-Up: Karma Home Designs

Best real estate agent

Silvana Dias (202) 258-8256, silvana.dias.lnfre.com Readers Say: “She genuinely cares about making sure you get the house of your dreams.” Runners-Up: Craig McCullough, Barak Sky

Best real estate groUp

City Chic Real Estate 1625 K St. NW, (202) 499-4284, citychicrealestate.com Readers Say: “Real estate for people who don’t like real estate.”

Runners-Up: Valentino & Associates LLC, The Koitz Group

Best rideshare

Uber uber.com

Readers Say: “Saved D.C. from D.C. cabs.” Runners-Up: Lyft, Split

Best rooFers

Karma Home Designs 1300 I St. NW, (202) 642-4663, karmahomedesigns.com Readers Say: “Save you money and tells you what really needs to be done for the longterm.” Runners-Up (Tie): Corley Roofing & Sheet Metal, Keith Roofing

Best rUnning store

Pacers Running Multiple Locations, runpacers.com Readers Say: “They go the extra ‘mile’ making sure you’ve found the right shoes.” Runners-Up: Fleet Feet Sports, Potomac River Running

THANK YOU FOR VOTING! Best Home Furnishings

WINNER

2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 & 2015

Open 7 Days a Week! 11am-7pm 1626 14th Street NW [202] 232-8171

www.misspixies.com

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 97

goods & serviCes Best shoe repair

George Shoe Repair Multiple Locations, georgeshoerepair.com Readers Say: “He’s super friendly and does great work.” Runners-Up: Philip’s Shoe Repair, Corrective Shoe Repair

Best shoe store

DSW Multiple Locations, dsw.com Runners-Up: Comfort One Shoes; Allen Edmonds, The Shoe Hive (tie)

Best spa

Nusta Spa 1129 20th St. NW, (202) 530-5700, nustaspa.com

1990 18th St. NW, (202) 232-2232, unwind-dc.com Readers Say: “Classy place.” Runners-Up: Wat Massage, Jean Leconte at Aura Spa

Best thriFt store

Value Village Multiple Locations, valuevillage.com Readers Say: “Generous discount if you donate something first.” Runners-Up: Georgia Avenue Thrift Store, Goodwill

Best vet

AtlasVet 1326 H St. NE, (202) 552-8600, atlasvetdc.com

Runners-Up: Azure Dream Day Spa, Dupont Threading

Best speCialtY Food store

Glen’s Garden Market Multiple Locations, glensgardenmarket.com

Readers Say: “Such a great place! Love the new location in Shaw as well as the original in Dupont!” Runners-Up: MOM’s Organic Market; Hana Japanese Market, Trader Joe’s (tie)

Best storage CompanY

Zippy Shell Multiple Locations, zippyshell.com Readers Say: “Quite affordable!” Runners-Up: Town & Country Movers, MakeSpace

Best tailor

Cheryl Lofton & Associates 719 T St. NW, (202) 483-5929, cheryllofton.com Runners-Up: Christopher Kim’s Mens Wear & Custom Tailoring; J C Lofton Tailors, Stephen the Tailor (tie)

Best tattoo parlor

Fatty’s Tattoos & Piercings Multiple Locations, fattystattoos.com Readers Say: “They have the best quality ink and piercings hands down!” Runners-Up: Laughing Hyena Tattoos, Jinx Proof Tattoos

Best tea shop

Calabash Tea & Tonic 1847 7th St. NW, (202) 525-5386, calabashdc.com Readers Say: “Most well-rounded, therapeutic, harmonizing, delicious heap of Zen in a cup. Great service, relaxing atmosphere. I leave feeling renewed.” Runners-Up: Teaism, Pearl Fine Teas

Best therapeUtiC massage

Unwind Wellness Center

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Best Vintage Clothing Store, Readers’ Pick: Nomad Yard Collectiv

Readers Say: “Saxby loves to go there, and what dog loves to visit the vet?!” Runners-Up: District Veterinary Hospital, Friendship Hospital for Animals

Best vintage Clothing store

Nomad Yard Collectiv 411 New York Ave. NE, (929) 322-3397, nomadyardcollectiv.com

Readers Say: “It’s a magical experience that sends your cerebral into shock waves.”

Multiple Locations, verizon.com/dc Runners-Up: AT&T, T-Mobile

Best Yoga instrUCtor

Eric Schwarz ericschwarzyoga.com Readers Say: “Eric is an amazing teacher.” Runners-Up: Cory Bryant, Flow Yoga Center, Ryan Smith

Best Yoga stUdio

Runners-Up: Bespoke Not Broke, Vintage & Charmed Classic Clothing

Yoga District Multiple Locations, yogadistrict.com

Best wireless provider

Readers Say: “Keeps classes affordable!”

Verizon

Runners-Up: Flow Yoga Center, Body & Brain

THANKS DC FOR VOTING US TOP 3!

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Staff Picks GOODS & SERVICES

ion, one bay leaf, 10 chicken feet with the toes cut off; simmer 12 hours, drink for breakfast with salt and lemon juice). Other Panamericana highlights include the tremendous crowds no matter the hour, a great Latin American cheese section, an enticing meat case, and cheap spices. Almost all the produce is $.99 per pound or cheaper, and I’m going to assume it’s all whatever the opposite of organic or free range or fairly traded is. Eat like a king today; grow carrots for fore—Emily Q. Hazzard arms later.

Best Place to Get a Vintage Wedding Dress PollySue’s Vintage

6915 Laurel Ave., Takoma Park. (301) 270-5511, pollysuesvintage.tumblr.com

PollySue’s Vintage in Takoma Park contains a small offering of affordable wedding gowns from the ’30s through the ’80s with an eye toward timeless elegance. The delight in this collection is in the ability to try on gowns—an extravagance when it comes to vintage formalwear. To be clear, wedding apparel is a small allocation of PollySue’s offerings. A recent trip to the store revealed only half a rack of options. Vintage sizing can cut down the selection even further, but if you’re a bold bride-to-be, you may consider another garment entirely such as a cocktail dress or a pantsuit. You may have to be patient. The stars may have to align just so for your vintage dreams to come true. But PollySue’s is worth pursuing, because you might walk away with the dress of your dreams. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Unauthorized Free Printing Best Place to Buy Things for Your Home to Make It Look Like You’ve Lived There for Years, Except You Bought a Flip a Year Ago, Staff Pick: Mom N’ Pop Antiques

Best Place to Purchase the Largest Carrots You’ve Ever Seen, Chicken Feet, $2 Brooms, Other Wonders Panamericana Grocery

3552 14th St. NW, (202) 545-0290

It’s almost impossible to talk about Panamericana Grocery without mentioning the carrots—my God, the carrots! They’re each about the size of my forearm. Where do they come from? Were they forgotten in the ground at a regular farm, until sometime

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long after harvest they became big enough to walk themselves to the packaging plant? Did they come from Chernobyl? Will they kill me in 10 years? Why are they so cheap? I’ve never eaten them raw, but I’ve been using them with no ill effects to make bone broth (add to a pot of water one monster carrot, one on-

Washington Hilton

1919 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 483-3000, hilton.com

There are fine reasons for non-guests to find themselves at the Washington Hilton. It has a spacious seating area, ideal for getting work done in a part of town with no public libraries. It’s home to the area’s only Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, a draw for nostalgic transplants to D.C. from Southern California. Also inside the hotel is McClellan’s Sports Bar, a draw for confused people who were actually looking for the unrelated bar McClellan’s Retreat, located just down the street. Ronald Reagan got shot exiting the hotel, making it a must-visit

A Full Service Animal Hospital Specializing in compassionate care ANIMAL HOSPITAL www.citypawsanimalhospital.com

202-232-PAWS

1823 14TH ST. NW | WASHINGTON, DC 20009

Brightening Your Day Family Owned Since 1945

D.C.’s Best for • Galas & Events • Birthdays • Weddings • Get Well Wishes • Funerals • Special Occasions

Celebrating over 70 years on U Street!

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your next visit with this ad exp. 5/5/16

THANK YOU for voting Lee’s Flower and Card Shop one of the BEST in DC! L E E ’S FL OW E R S HOP | 1026 U St NW, Washington, DC 20001 | 202-265-4965 | www.leesflowerandcard.com

THANKS FOR VOTING US ONE OF THE BEST CHILD CARE PROGRAMS IN THE DC AREA! At Bright Horizons, we provide an exceptional place for children to thrive. Our individualized, flexible curriculum and experienced teachers inspire children at every age and stage.

Exceptional READY for SCHOOL preschool & kindergarten prep programs that are consistent with local schools academic and social expectations Highly-educated and passionate teachers State-of-the-art facilities with impeccable health & safety standards

DISCOVER THE BRIGHT HORIZONS DIFFERENCE! With multiple locations in the DC area, Bright Horizons provides high quality early education and preschool in convenient locations for busy families. To find a location near you, visit brighthorizons.com/cityDC.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 101

GOODS & SERVICES for assassination buffs. So act natural, step up to the computer in the lobby, and print that email attachment. Play it cool, and the staff —Zach Rausnitz probably won’t notice.

Best Board Game Store, Staff Pick: Labyrinth Games & Puzzles

Best Place to Buy Things for Your Home to Make It Look Like You’ve Lived There for Years, Except You Bought a Flip a Year Ago Mom N’ Pop Antiques

3534 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 722-0719

This store looks like someone picked up 10 lived-in homes, shook them very hard, and then poured their entire contents into one corner retail space. The smaller items have settled to the front of the store, the way dog hair and cracker crumbs settle into the far corner of your purse and get comfortable. Here, near the register, you’ll find your loose cassette tapes, pewter salt shakers missing their pewter pepper shakers, rotary phones (both working and nonworking), single pens, torn postcards, etc. As you move farther back into the bowels of the store, you’ll find larger and therefore more valuable pieces: late-’80s pressboard armoires, stained poster prints of waterfowl mid-flight, a drawer full of loose bolts (single bolts are behind you, toward the front), Naugahyde dining room chairs, and the like. In the very back of the store, you are almost guaranteed to find a set of metal lockers whose doors are too dented to close. I have seen truly beautiful pieces of furniture here, and they get snapped up in minutes. You’ll probably be surprised the items aren’t a bit cheaper, given their condition. Don’t even think about complaining aloud: You just bought a rowhouse, you upwardly mobile son of a bitch, and you’re shopping here because you’re desperate to look like you’ve been in this neighborhood all along. Fill up your Zipcar and come back —Emily Q. Hazzard for seconds.

Best Place to Pimp Out Your Apartment Hudson & Crane

1781 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 436-1223, hudsonandcrane.com

Hudson & Crane knows what you need before you do. That’s the magical spell surrounding this furniture/homegoods/lifestyle/ design store. Customers are presented with goods that capture a mood, invite discussion, or function as a room centerpiece. It’s a spellbinding place for a number of reasons, but it centers on a deep understanding of the needs of a D.C.-area audience. The furniture will actually fit in your apartment. Items are functional but incorporate whimsy. If you are too busy or too exhausted to figure out

what you want, don’t worry—they offer residential and commercial design services that will make your space enchanting. But the biggest trick they pull out of their hat? This —Kaarin Vembar place is affordable.

Best Way to Power Nap During Work Lunar Massage

Multiple locations, lunarmassagedc.com

Everyone has been guilty of trying to sneak in a noontime nap on the clock at least once. Next time you find yourself nodding off at your desk or trying to catch some surreptitious shut-eye in the break room, give Lunar Massage a call instead. Its minimalist massage studios offer a free place to nap for 30 minutes before 4 p.m.

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on weekdays if there are open tables. With three central D.C. locations, it’s fairly easy to find a studio near your office, and the staff is always accommodating and quiet. Studies show that napping responsibly (and offsite) reduces your risk of unemployment significantly. —Margaret Carrigan

Best Place to Pamper Your Tired Feet Comfy Feet Spa

1629 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 588-8888, healthymagic.net

Did you know that you hold tension in your toes? In your arch? Your heel? You won’t realize how much stress you held in your feet until it isn’t there anymore. Your feet deserve

attention. Not the “let’s-scrub-them-untilthey-are-raw” version that sometimes accompanies a particularly harsh pedicure. We are talking “hey-I-commute-in-this-cityand-I’m-freaking-exhausted” consideration. Comfy Feet Spa is located in an unassuming basement space in Dupont. They offer only a handful of services, including hot stone massage and acupressure. Their trademark, though, is straightforward: They are here to —Kaarin Vembar help your feet.

Best Board Game Store Labyrinth Games & Puzzles

645 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, (202) 544-1059, labyrinthgameshop.com

Labyrinth’s stash of 2,500 games and puzzles virtually guarantees you’ll find some-

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GOODS & SERVICES

thing for your next party, family reunion, or vacation. But how to pick? Start by asking the staff: They can fill you in on which games are recent award-winners and give details about everything from the feel of the game play to the designers’ nationalities. According to owner Kathleen Donahue, current bestsellers are the spy-themed Codenames and 7 Wonders: Duel, a two-player spinoff of the original 7 Wonders. Most-anticipated games of 2016 include the two-to-four player Star Wars: Rebellion, strategic city-building game Quadropolis, party game Doctor Panic, and a dexterity game called Kaboom. If you have trouble making up your mind, you can stop by on Thursday evenings to try out a few at the in-house —Emily Walz board game night.

Best Place to Get Undies Bloomers

924 King St., Alexandria, (571) 312-0852, shopbloomers.com

The underwear-purchasing experience is typically not pleasant. Customers can go to a department store and look through packed racks under florescent lighting, or to a national chain that involves a secret-that-isn’t-

Best Place to Shop for Foodies, Staff Pick: Hill’s Kitchen

Charles Steck

Best Board Game Bar, Staff Pick: Red Derby

that-secret anymore. In short: It’s something we have to do versus something we look forward to. But Bloomers is changing the game. This underwear, sleepwear, and loungewear spot in Old Town is not a fancy, overpriced lingerie store. Instead, it offers a spectrum of products from brands like Spanx, Hanky Panky, Hue, and Yummie by Heather Thompson. The fabrics are soft. The PJ pants have cute prints. It’s a store that contains foundation garment solutions, yet the goods are pretty instead of —Kaarin Vembar feeling utilitarian.

Best Hunger Games Equivalent Orangetheory

425 I St. NW, (202) 469-1035, orangetheoryfitness.com

The fitness class craze meets its logical end point in Orangetheory, the intense, stats-focused course that opened a location in the District earlier this year. Gone are the dark rooms and inspirational talk of Soulcycle and its ilk, replaced with a treadmill, a rowing machine, and a heartbeat monitor around your midsection. The monitor is the key thing

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here, since TVs around the room broadcast your stats for everyone else in the class to see. Keep your heart rate high enough and win, —Will Sommer uh, “splat points.”

Best Place to Find a Gift Red Barn Mercantile

1117 King St., Alexandria, (703) 838-0355, redbarnmercantile.com

Your sister’s birthday is coming up. Then your cousin’s graduation. And, that wedding—make it two weddings—you are attending this summer. Life is full of celebrations, and Red Barn Mercantile will make sure you show up with the perfect gift in hand. This Alexandria store carries items that fulfill gifting needs including candles, kids games, barware, and books. A playful sense of humor can be found in products like their “groceries & shit” tote bag and pop culture key chains that reference Luke’s Diner and the Peach Pit. Yet their branding and presentation reveals a polish that is usually found in larger, national chains rather than —Kaarin Vembar independent retail.

Best Board Game Bar Red Derby

3718 14th St. NW, (202) 291-5000, redderby.com

So the Cranium sculpting clay doesn’t stick together anymore and some of the board games have liquor stains—think of them as broken in. Red Derby is boisterous enough that you don’t feel out of place breaking out a board. Owner D Leven says that when Red Derby opened nine years ago, they had only the usual deck of cards, backgammon board, and chess set. This changed when one of the employees brought in Apples to Apples. The bar now stocks many of the usual suspects: Jenga, Cards Against Humanity, Connect Four, and classics like chess and Rock’em —Emily Walz Sock’em Robots.

Best Place to Shop for Foodies Hill’s Kitchen

713 D St. SE., (202) 543-1997, hillskitchen.com

Walking into Hill’s Kitchen is like walking into an ongoing party. Regulars are greeted by name. Out-of-towners are asked where they are from and are encouraged to show pictures

Visit Georgetown Olive Oil, a locally owned shop and tasting gallery with Ultra Premium Extra Virgin Olive Oils, aged Balsamic Vinegars and Gourmet Sea Salts. Also featuring authentic Italian ceramics, wedding favors and gifts for all occasions. Come in and taste through our gallery of freshly sourced, award-winning olive oils from around the world!

1524 Wisconsin Ave NW 202-333-7330 www.georgetownoliveoil.com

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KRAMERBOOKS

UPCOMING EVENTS

GOODS & SERVICES of grandkids. Owner Leah Daniels serves as the quintessential host by listening to stories, demonstrating products, and solving kitchen woes. What makes this gourmet kitchenware store different is that it’s so gosh-darn fun. The front of the store changes to match the seasons and gadgets are center store (along with cutting boards, varieties of jams and honey, and aprons), while cookbooks, baking pans, and kids supplies are in the back. Cooks of various levels will find products that encourage an enthusiastic cooking experience. It will get you inspired to put down the takeout menus and go back into the space that is —Kaarin Vembar your kitchen.

Best Place to Get Your Natural Hair Blown Out/ Do a #LengthCheck Le Chic Beauty Salon

Mon. 4/11 at 6:30pm Country of Red Azaleas Dominica Radulescu A riveting novel about two women-one Serbian, one Bosnian-whose deep friendship spans decades and continents, war and peace, love and estrangement, Tues. 4/12 at 6:30pm A None’s Story: Searching for Meaning Inside Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Islam Corinna Nicolau A layered narrative about what it is like to live without religion or to be spiritual without committing to a speciﬁc faith.

3634 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 550-6539, lechicsalondc.com

This Petworth salon is not the place to go when you’re in a hurry, but what its stylists lack in speed, they make up for in attentiveness and candor. Selam and the ladies at Le Chic clearly care about making sure your hair is as healthy as possible, inquiring about your haircare routine and offering suggestions where appropriate—not just to foist extra services on you. Did I mention that the prices are extremely reasonable? A 2014 move from their bustling location on 9th Street NW in

Mon. 4/18 at 6:30pm How to Smoke Pot (Properly): A Highbrow Guide to Getting High David Bienenstock A High Times editor charts a course for the bold, new, post-prohibition world. Tues. 4/19 at 6:30pm Dodgers: A Novel Bill Beverly A dark, unforgettable, coming-of-age journey.

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the Shaw–U Street corridor has reverted the shop back to best-kept secret status, so beat the rush while you still can. —Nena Perry-Brown

Best Place to Stock Up on Wine for a Party Cork Market

1805 14th St. NW, (202) 265-2674, corkdc.com

We always have grand ambitions to throw a fantastic party for friends. Yet time has an annoying habit of running out when it comes to gathering supplies for said perfect party. Cork Market has made the wine portion of your kiki easy. Staff is knowledgable, friendly, and readily offers pairing suggestions. A wonderful selection of cheeses, charcuterie, and chocolates are on hand. But the staff-selected baskets, filled with endorsed wines that retail for around $10, are the best. Even if you know nothing about wine, or even if you only have five minutes to get in and out of the store because guests are already on their way, you can zoom in and grab a bottle that will be a —Kaarin Vembar crowd pleaser.

Best Bar That Also Sells Clothes Maketto

1351 H St. NE, (202) 838-9972, maketto1351.com

Between the Rock & Roll Hotel and Bullfrog

Bagels is Maketto, an Asian-inspired marketplace that sells everything from streetwear to Taiwanese-Cambodian cuisine to beer. Variety is the name of the game at the young hotspot, which features coffee from Vigilante upstairs and D.C.-inspired fashion in the retail area on the first floor. When the weather is nice, the staff opens the building’s rear doors to a courtyard filled with tables and chairs. Maketto can be a difficult place to go if you’ve just gotten paid, with enticing deals on exclusive clothing and jewelry that beckon you to blow your whole check. And by the time you’re finished shopping, you’ll probably want some chai and a nice view. —Vance Brinkley

Best Retail Doing Runway Shows Rosies and Rockers

2001 13th St. NW, (202) 328-7625, rosiesandrockers.com

“What are you doing with all of these handcuffs?” On one end of the phone was the police department, according to Rosies and Rockers owner Mateen Khan, who had placed an online order for police-grade handcuffs for a runway show. She says quickly explained to the police that the purchase was made in the name of fashion rather than for nefarious means. Those handcuffs became statement accessories in the shop’s Crystal Couture fashion

Best Place to Stock Up on Wine for a Party, Staff Pick: Cork Market

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Best Place for Pet Lovers, Staff Pick: The Cheeky Puppy

show in 2015. Models wore rockabilly- and pinup-style clothing from the U Street NW boutique, and their style stood out in an audience of conservative fashion enthusiasts. For their next runway show, Khan and partner Ally Crane decided to take on the concept of censorship. Their store has unwittingly courted its share of controversy for simply carrying apparel that’s different from the typical D.C. uniform. Khan edited together a loop of angry messages collected from Rosies and Rockers’ voicemail in which people deemed clothing in their windows “inappropriate” and left streams of curse words. “I get that you are trying to be cool, but really? We live in Washington, D.C. Come on,” one caller said. This was the inspiration for their 2016 show, which featured models wearing blackband eyewear. The result mimicked censor bars that are often seen in photographs (think Kim K’s latest naked photo). The result was edgy. It was cool. It was different.

Rosies and Rockers’ message is big, it’s bold, and it isn’t remaining neatly tucked into the four walls of the brick-and-mortar store. Its founders are thinking in a way that’s bigger than their home market, while still embracing and loving the D.C. misfits that perfectly embody their esthetic. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Place for Contemporary Witches to Shop on a Budget Georgia Beauty Supply

3659 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 882-9660

In the window of this shop are three rows of mannequin heads, decked out in lurid hair pieces and festooned with odd objects (I’ve seen a single well-worn shoe languishing in this display case, for example). The gallery of severed heads should be a clue: Valkyries might shop here. Inside, you’ll find the stuff

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of transformation, both physical and metaphysical. Hair extensions, eyelashes, costume jewelry, and gel, yes, but also colored candles, incense, and vampy nail polish colors. This is not the place to look if you are a crunchygranola-chemical-avoidant beauty supply shopper. This is where you go when you are a true believer in the transcendent power of self-care, or at least in the transcendent power of lipstick that stays on your face all day, as if by magic (L.A. Girl makes one that wears like latex house paint, and I think it’s about $5). “This store has it ALL” says a decal on the window. It’s true on many levels. —Emily Q. Hazzard

up with the personal focus of a boutique, and you get Gossip on 23rd. This independent store is fun, flirty, and affordable. Owner Katherine Glorioso Dress (yes, her actual last name is “Dress”) created a store that carries a variety of silhouettes and focuses on a body-positive experience. You can find a date-night ensemble or a blouse that can be worn to work on Monday morning without breaking the bank. Visitors may be surprised to learn that a number of brands carried are —Kaarin Vembar made in the U.S.

Best Place to Get an Outfit for Under $100

911 11th St. SE, (202) 543-5172, ginkgogardens.com

Gossip on 23rd

570 23rd St. S., Arlington, (703) 920-1498, gossipon23rd.com

Take the price point of H&M and mash it

Best Terrarium Supplies Ginkgo Gardens

Gardening is for boomers; terrariums, with their small size and low demands, are for millennials. Grab a glass vessel and some hardto-kill succulents and you have a self-enclosed world that can run itself. But the life of a ter-

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GOODS & SERVICES Best Comic Book Fans, Staff Pick: Fantom Comics

rarium overlord can be a hard one, since most gardening stores aren’t set up for their miniature requirements. Thank goodness, then, for Ginkgo Gardens, which sells a wide selection of terrarium-sized plants alongside some inspiring terrariums of their own. Playing God —Will Sommer has never been so easy.

Best Place for Preppy Chic The Lucky Knot

101 King St., Alexandria, (703) 549-1797, theluckyknot.com

Color is the name of the game at The Lucky Knot. This is not a store for shrinking violets, but rather for those gregarious personalities who aren’t afraid of vivid hues and brilliant patterns. Designer brands carried include Kate Spade, Vera Bradley, Lilly Pulitzer, and Vineyard Vines. It’s preppy, yes, but not stuffy. The Lucky Knot is not about restrained refinement. You are meant to brunch in their lemonyellow sundresses, wear their coral statement necklaces to parties, and pack their fuschiapink tunics for your next vacation. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Comic Book Fans Fantom Comics

2010 P St. NW, (202) 241-6498, fantomcomics.com

Don’t you dare buy your comics from Amazon.com. Don’t even browse online—even if your pockets are completely empty or your

cohabitor has banned you from buying a single additional title, this is a great place to hang out and chat about your particular flavor of geekdom. The staff is incredibly friendly and welcoming, and there’s almost always someone there who will nerd out about what you’re nerding out about. They have regular talks and events, but the staff is friendly enough to just make this a welcoming place to peruse, whether you’ve been into supers for decades, or you just heard about this thing called Saga and you’re considering picking up the first —Emily Q. Hazzard trade volume.

Best New Men’s Apparel Avenue Jack

1301 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 887-5225, avenuejack.com

This is what D.C. needed: a menswear store for casual clothes that are classy yet comfortable. This is what D.C. did not need: another suit store; another place to get custom shirts; another Brooks Brothers/J.Crew hybrid. Thank goodness for Avenue Jack. This men’s store is located just south of Dupont Circle and carries clothes that are fantastic for weekend wear. Items are stocked with quality and fit in mind. Customers will find apparel, accessories, and gifts in a space that’s warm and welcoming. The owners stock nationally recognized brands, but also focus on bringing smaller makers’ products into the District market. If you have no idea what you should try on, that won’t be a problem. Co-

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Best Bookshop in Which to Die Happily Under an Avalanche of Books, Staff Pick: Capitol Hill Books owner and Creative Director Scott Wallis will give suggestions and help you figure out your —Kaarin Vembar personal style.

Best Bookshop in Which to Die Happily Under an Avalanche of Books Capitol Hill Books

657 C St. SE, (202) 544-1621, capitolhillbooks-dc.com

The narrow passageways and towers of books mean Capitol Hill Books isn’t the best place for anyone claustrophobic, but it’s the best place to lose yourself for an afternoon on a used book treasure hunt. There’s a room devoted to mystery, a foreign language section, a cookbook area, and a “Cultural Closet.” The basement is where you find sci-fi gems

and books on China; upstairs are classics like The House on Mango Street. And Capitol Hill Books’ owner Jim Toole is willing to join your quest for the perfect tome, even looking at estate sales and auctions for hard-to-find volumes. Leave your large bags at the desk—an overloaded backpack wielded carelessly could —Emily Walz start a cascade.

Best Dog Rescue City Dogs Rescue

2121 Decatur Place NW, (202) 567-7364, citydogsrescuedc.org

I became a dog-father last May thanks to this exceedingly well-organized rescue group that’s as much a force for good as a network of canine lovers. City Dogs does much of its outreach in the Carolinas and Virginia, bringing dogs from shelters and temporary homes to

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GOODS & SERVICES Best Dog Rescue, Staff Pick: City Dogs Rescue

forever ones. Adoption fees are reasonable (a few hundred dollars, depending on age) and the organization has a robust foster program as well. The feline-inclined will be pleased to know that this year, City Dogs launched City Kitties, with an equally robust screening process. The group has an awww-inducing social-media presence, too. —Andrew Giambrone

Best Place for Pet Lovers The Cheeky Puppy

1709 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 621-8868, thecheekypuppy.com

Here’s how to know if The Cheeky Puppy is the right store for you: Your Instagram account is exclusively pictures of your beagle; you begin stories with, “My cat did the funniest thing this weekend!”; and/or @dog_rates is your favorite Twitter account, which means you rate everything in your life (“11/10 cute af. Would attempt to snug.”). The Cheeky Puppy contains supplies that will keep your pet happy and healthy (treats! eco-friendly toys! doggie toothbrushes!). It is also a place that celebrates the crazy enthusiasm of pet ownership. This store understands why you want to own a West Highland White Terrier

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umbrella, clock, and pillow. They recognize your unabashed joy. These are your people. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Way to Get to Dulles (If You Have To) Silver Line Express Bus at Wiehle-Reston East Metro Station 1862 Wiehle Ave., Reston, Va., (888) 927-4359, flydulles.com

No matter how you travel, trekking to Dulles International Airport from downtown D.C. takes time and, in many cases, a fair amount

of money. Hiring a car might be the quickest way, but with the expansion of the Silver Line comes a cheap and comfortable option. After riding a half-empty train deep into Fairfax County, board the similarly empty, air-conditioned, Wi-Fi-equipped bus and relax for the next 15 minutes until you’re dropped off in front of the terminal. Pay your $5 (credit cards are accepted but cash will get you out the door faster) and head to your destination. —Caroline Jones

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GOODS & SERVICES

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Best Place to Play Pinball, Staff Pick: Lyman’s Tavern

Best Way to Waste an Afternoon National Arboretum Eagle Cam eagles.org/dceaglecam

DC2 and DC3 hatched at 8:27 a.m. on March 18 and at 3 a.m. on March 20, respectively. And as of March 28, their live-streamed journey from eggs to fledglings had been viewed 18 million times. The 24-7 stream of the National Arboretum nest, hosted by Eagles.org, is not the first in D.C. The Earth Conservation Corps installed a camera fixed on the eagles’ nest outside the Metropolitan Police Department’s academy near Bellevue several years ago; those eagles, Freedom and Justice, are currently incubating two eggs. But the arboretum cam is in HD, meaning you can see Mr. President and the First Lady’s little fluffers with very good clarity, and it comes with an amazing warning: “This is a wild eagle nest and anything can happen. While we

hope that two healthy juvenile eagles will end up fledging from the nest this summer, things like sibling rivalry, predators, and natural disaster can affect this eagle family and may be difficult to watch.” My warning: It may be difficult to stop watching. —Sarah Anne Hughes

Most Promising Beauty Spot Follain

1309 5th St. NE, (844) 365-5246, shopfollain.com

The next time you head to Union Market, make sure to swing by Follain. It’s recognizable for its curious little bottles and clean, minimalist design. Follain is one of the newest players in the D.C beauty game. Following the phenomenal success of Bluemercury and the rise of craft beauty products, there truly is a cosmetics scene in our area. That might explain why

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Follain chose to expand to this region. Its other locations are in Boston and Nantucket—places that may seem vastly different, but perhaps audiences everywhere are yearning for natural products. All of their products are all made in the U.S., which is quite the feat for any type of retail space. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Place to Play Pinball Lyman’s Tavern

3720 14th St. NW, (202) 723-0502, facebook.com/lymanstaverndc

Pinball, as a pastime and as a culture, is making a comeback across the country, and D.C. is no exception. In the past several years, the number of bars that have introduced pinball machines to their premises has increased and not just for aesthetic value. Hell, there’s even a DMV Pinball League where pinheads compete for money, prizes, and bragging rights. This resur-

gence started at Lyman’s Tavern, which opened in 2014 with a handful of machines. Since then, the place has added a number of games, and other bars—including staples Black Cat and Meridian Pint—have followed suit. But Lyman’s still does it best. —Matt Cohen

Best Bike Shop Disguised as a Truck Handy Bikes DC

K and Half streets SE, (202) 417-7305, handybikesdc.com

One of the best bike shops in D.C. looks like a taco truck. Handy Bikes is a Kickstarter-funded, pop-up bike-repair station that’s usually parked by the Navy Yard Metro station. It’s a labor of love (involving a truly astonishing amount of labor) on the part of a guy named Pete. Here’s what you need to know about him: Pete is an amazing bike mechanic. Pete is very friendly and a great communicator. Pete

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GOODS & SERVICES

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Best Place to Get Your Natural Hair Blown Out/ Do a #LengthCheck, Staff Pick: Le Chic Beauty Salon

will neither talk down to you nor try to upsell you. And Pete charges obscenely low prices for his work. Bike owners, you’ll really like Pete. —Camila Domonoske

closed reading nook where little ones can peruse titles, and you’ve got the District’s most pleasant purchasing experience. —Caroline Jones

Best Place to Shop for a Kid, With a Kid

Best Place to Get Your Kiddo a Cool Outfit

Politics & Prose

Little Birdies Boutique

Shopping for kids is always challenging. Doing it with a kid in tow, who will inevitably want to touch everything in sight, makes the task even more difficult. The solution, in this case, is books. Your friends will read a picture book more often than they’ll dress their baby in the (slightly gross) “Made in Petworth” onesie you could have bought them, and you can rest easy knowing the many books your toddler has picked up are meant to be handled. Throw in the impeccable staff who know just what to recommend and an en-

From the outside, Little Birdies might look like just an adorable children’s clothing store. But it is being watched very, very closely. Its every move is being monitored on Instagram. Why? Because Little Birdies is the only clothing store in the area that carries Beaufort Bonnet. For the uninitiated, Beaufort Bonnet is a children’s apparel brand that carries swoonworthy items. Its products have a cult-like following of well, let’s call them enthusiasts, who are loyal to the products. Little Birdies also carries kids shoes that are

5015 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 364-1919, politics-prose.com

1526 Wisconsin Ave. NW, (202) 333-1059, shoplittlebirdies.com

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crafted in Spain, a dress line out of Portugal (Patachou), and another out of England (Sarah Louise). Owner Shanlee Johnson graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York with a degree in apparel design and production, and she utilizes that fashion industry knowledge to pinpoint products that parents will adore. This is the place you come to when you receive a baby shower invitation in the mail. Or when you find out your best friend back home is expecting. Or when you cannot help but buy your niece a new spring dress. Customers will discover quality clothing, scarf bibs, headbands and bows, miniature ties, and footie pajamas. The items are special and beautiful, just like the little ones in your life. —Kaarin Vembar

Best New Eyewear Store Warby Parker

1924 8th St. NW, (202) 618-5606, warbyparker.com

When this optical vendor historically described as “hipster” (yet gradually approaching normcore) opened on the ground floor of The Shay building in Shaw last year, my heart leapt. Of course, a big part of Warby Parker’s appeal is being able to try out their frames at home by ordering them online, but I’ve always been the brick-and-mortar type anyway. So I bought (blue) sunglasses for less than $100 at the bookish storefront and am glad I did. OK, I made my S.O. buy them for —Andrew Giambrone me. Details.

Best Bikeshare Station Columbus Circle–Union Station capitalbikeshare.com

No Capital Bikeshare station shares its bikes more than the one at Union Station. From October through December of last year (the most recent span for which data is available), the station was involved in upward of 33,000 trips, averaging out to about 365 trips per day,

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GOODS & SERVICES and not in the warmest or most touristy of months. In that time, only two other stations reached 20,000 trips. Few stations have such a solemn responsibility as this one. Nearby, the Metropolitan Branch Trail, the First Street NE cycletrack, and the thick network of bike lanes in Capitol Hill induce demand for biking. People rushing to catch a train out of town have good reason to doubt whether Metro’s fragile trains or the buses inching their way through Columbus Circle are likely to get them there as fast as they can pedal. But the number of Bikeshare stations in the immediate area is limited, as the vast and bike-friendly Capitol Grounds just south of Columbus Circle hasn’t proven itself eager to host Bikeshare stations. During the years the streetcars were still idling in a barn, the Union Station Bikeshare station was doing what the the streetcar had long dreamt of doing: moving people along H Street NE. Eight of the nine most popular Bikeshare stations for connecting to Union Station were along H Street NE or within four blocks, accounting for roughly one-third of trips to and from Union Station. Outside of the H Street area, the three most popular connections are three Metro stations—Smithsonian, L’Enfant Plaza, and Navy Yard—sparing travelers from having to ride not one but two Metro lines, a practice known to compound the risk of getting trapped in Metro’s misadventures. —Zach Rausnitz

Best CommunitySupported Agriculture Three Part Harmony

Emergence Community Art Collective, 733 Euclid St. NW, threepartharmonyfarm.org

The CSA nightmare is getting stuck with a series of oversized boxes filled with rutabagas you don’t know how to cook. The dream is a season of Three Part Harmony’s shares, grown without synthetic chemicals or genetically modified seeds on a two-acre urban farm in Brookland. Their flexible CSA model allows members to pick their own produce from tables piled with a weekly selection of vegetables, herbs, fruits, and flowers. You can weight your share with more of the tomatoes and peppers you love and still test out things like watermelon radishes and sunchokes. Farmer Gail Taylor is often on hand to give advice on new ways to experiment with the week’s features and the best ways to —Emily Walz cook turnip greens.

Best Bus Stop Mercy Killing 16th and Riggs Streets NW

Best Spot for a Luxe Men’s Haircut, Staff Pick: Wise Owl Club sometimes several buses in a row—to be too full to stop for passengers. Other times, the only way to get on is to ride (er, stand) shotgun next to the driver, with little to hold onto. Until you’re far enough downtown for the crowd to disperse, each stop worsens the ordeal, with riders wiggling toward the exits before the bus comes to a halt. Stopping at Riggs Place, just .05 miles past the previous stop, was just one more affront. Metro ditched the stop in December. Rest in peace—which is what passengers can now do for a few hundred feet after the S Street stop. —Zach Rausnitz

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Taking the S buses south on 16th Street NW during the morning rush can be a series of indignities. It’s not uncommon for buses— 118 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Best Little Beauty Apothecary Be Clean

52 O St. NW, #308, becleanshop.com

Be Clean is not your typical beauty product store. First, it’s not quite a store; it’s technically a studio within a larger building of artisans. The space is tiny. This is not high-octane beauty industry consumerism that demands more and more. It’s a quiet space that encourages thoughtful interactions. Customers can browse a carefully curated selection of products. Owner Becky Waddell has identified brands that are vegan and made in small batches. She carries select items that are made to work with your needs rather than wage an all-out attack on fighting whatever is

deemed wrong with your skin. (You won’t see terms like “anti-aging,” “synthetic,” or “acne-fighting.”) This is in line with Waddell’s larger philosophy of giving customers permission to slow down and approach skincare with mindfulness. It is a wildly different avenue into beauty, where consumers are encouraged to be compassionate to themselves. Be Clean is a different type of retail experience logistically, too. Customers can make one-on-one appointments for themselves or for a small group. It is possible to come by during studio hours (Tuesday through Sunday from noon to 5 p.m.), but double check the website prior to your visit to make sure that Waddell is in the studio that day. When you get to O Street Studios, you have to be

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GOODS & SERVICES buzzed up. The experience is personal, attentive, and refreshing—an entirely new approach to shopping and beauty. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Place for a Men’s Haircut Capitol Barber

201 Massachusetts Ave. NE, Suite C2, (202) 544-8380

Getting a haircut at this pleasant shop near Union Station is like therapy but cheaper. A cut is a little over $20 (not including tip), and the barbers will throw in, free of charge, a shave complete with a warm towel. Waits are rarely longer than five to 10 minutes, even when each of the several chairs is occupied. Men of all ages walk out feeling fresh and looking happy. If you hate the hassle of making appointments, this is your spot. —Andrew Giambrone

Best Spot for a Luxe Men’s Haircut Wise Owl Club

2010 18th St. NW, (202) 705-9425, wiseowlclub.com

Wise Owl Club is for people who care about style but wouldn’t be caught dead in a Georgetown spa. It mixes the idea of an old-fashion barber shop with a contemporary, hip aesthetic. It’s for gents who care about appearance and want specialized care—minus all the highbrow snobbery that sometimes accompanies a high-end salon. There are certain guidelines that accompany a visit to Wise Owl. First and foremost, they don’t take appointments. It’s first-come, first-served, which sometimes means a wait— especially on high-traffic weekends. It’s also not prudent to walk through the doors right before closing time. This place is happening and hopping, so you may have to put your name on a list and wait a bit. They will text you 10 to 15 minutes prior to your appointment. (Pro tip: If you have a wait, walk around the corner and get a cup of coffee or a sweet treat at Pleasant Pops.) The no-appointment rule was established for good reason. Wise Owl staff wants to take the time to assess a client’s needs during his appointment, which means some guys will be in and out with a quick cut in 15 minutes, while others will require services that last the better part of an hour. If it’s time to drop the beard after a long winter, treat yourself to a straight razor shave. It’s an old-school service that our grandads got on the regular, but it seems like a revelation to a new audience. The shave is a relaxing process on the part of the customer, but an exact art on the part of the talented staff. You go through a series of steps involving hot towels, a lather, a precise shave, and a face massage. Stylists are also great at as-

Best Bookstore Revival, Staff Pick: Riverby Books sessing your skin’s needs following the service, and give instructions not to touch your face for 30 minutes so your skin has time to breathe and heal. Wise Owl is the perfect hybrid of salon culture. It’s efficient but gives off an air of indulgence while remaining remarkably down —Kaarin Vembar to earth.

Best 90 Minutes of Nirvana Wat Signature Massage at Wat Massage 1804 Vernon St. NW, (202) 588-9393, watmassage.com

The massage therapists at this converted Adams Morgan rowhouse approach their work like doctors: Their goal is to make you

120 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

feel better, not sell you a pedicure and a facial. Using a combination of Swedish, deep tissue, and Thai techniques, they’ll unlock the muscles you strained by working out or just sitting at your desk for too long. Calming music that sounds more like a white noise machine than Yanni and a spray of lavender oil allow you to reach a state of complete bliss. When it (sadly) ends, you’re sent home with a prescription for further relaxation: herbal tea and hot showers. Now that you can reach it, pat yourself on the back for taking care of yourself. —Caroline Jones

Best Place to Make Your Bath More Enjoyable Hunnybunny Boutique

311 8th St. NE, (202) 792-5209, hunnybunnyboutique.com

Nya (age seven) and Zuri (age two) own Hunnybunny Boutique—not technically, but they are certainly the owners in intention and spirit. Hunnybunny Boutique is a gem of a store that sells natural skincare and bath products. Grown-up owner and mom Leigh Byers decided to launch her brand after reading the ingredients listed on Nya and Zuri’s shampoo bottle. “I thought to myself, ‘What is all of this?’” says Byers. She then became determined to make products that were safe for her little girls. She went in search of natural ingredients and began to make soap. She opened Hunnybunny one year ago and makes all of her items by hand in small batches.

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GOODS & SERVICES Ingredients are easily recognizable and sound good enough to eat, which embodies the core “pure and simple” philosophy of the brand. Customers can read product contents on bookmark-sized cards that are readily available. For example, the best-selling Swirl Bar with Mango Butter includes olive, coconut, and apricot oils, mango butter, annatto seed powder, and orange peel powder. Hunnybunny is truly a family business. Leigh creates products and works in the store during the week. Her husband, André Byers, works weekends. The girls can be found playing in a toy space that is in the front part of the store. Customers often encounter lots of giggles and helpful hands—Nya and Zuri are especially adept at using an iPad. (Seriously, it’s amazing how great they are at ringing up people’s purchases.) Soap, body butter, and sugar scrubs are all included in Hunnybunny’s product line. Items are reasonably priced, with most soaps running between $5 and $6. One standout product is the soothing Rose Clay Facial Mask that includes French rose clay, ground oats, and milk powder. This is retail with heart. Products are carefully made and meant to nourish. The store space puts family front and center as part of daily operations. It’s raw and playful, and very worth the trip to get bath items that will clean and feed your skin. —Kaarin Vembar

Best Place to Get Flowers to Impress Your Friends at Dinner Parties, Staff Pick: Trader Joe’s

Best Bookstore Revival Riverby Books

417 East Capitol St. SE, (202) 543-4342, riverbybooksdc.com

A delightful number of independent bookstores are setting up shop in D.C. these days, but the greatest grand opening this year wasn’t a new arrival at all. Riverby Books on Capitol Hill closed in 2014 after owner and beloved community activist Steve Cymrot was hit and killed by the driver of a truck. It looked like it might never return, but the shop, still owned by the Cymrot family, has been revamped and reopened. It’s both utterly adorable and easy to navigate (a rare combination) with a carefully curated collection, helpful recommendations, and complimentary tea service. In a —Camila Domonoske word: perfect.

Best Way to Rid Your House of Unwelcome Guests Ward Pest Control

(703) 248-3631, wardpestcontrol.net

Pests come with the territory when you live in a city. While sprays might take care of bugs that occasionally appear in bathrooms and kitchens, when rodents set up shop, it’s time to call in the professionals. Ward’s thorough and affordable technicians first come out for a consultation, assessing the damage mice and rats have wrought on the home, then return to fill holes, bait walls, and set traps, opting for a traditional

peanut butter approach instead of chemicals. If the problem originates from an untreated infestation in your neighbor’s home, Ward will work with you to create a tenable solution. They’re even understanding if your call for help turns —Caroline Jones out to be a false alarm.

Best Place to Nap Away From Home OurSpace Acupuncture

914 Silver Spring Ave., Silver Spring, (301) 388-8085, ourspaceacupuncture.org

Zero-gravity chairs, eye pillows and blankets, soothing but barely there music. Oh, and needles stuck in your body. Despite—or, potentially, because of—the latter, the community room at OurSpace Acupuncture in

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Silver Spring offers true moments of Zen. Tell the practitioner what’s ailing you (fatigue is legitimate), pay what you can (even if that’s zero), and settle into a chair to await treatment. You’ll be surrounded by up to a dozen other clients, but they’ll disappear after you’re poked and wrapped and asked how long you’d like to stay. (Seriously. You can be there for hours if you want.) It’s bliss at a price anyone can afford. —Tricia Olszewski

Best Place to Get Flowers to Impress Your Friends at Dinner Parties Trader Joe’s

1914 14th St. NW, (202) 986-1591, traderjoes.com

It’s Friday afternoon and you’ve invited a few friends over for dinner. Though you tidied up a bit the night before, your dining table is missing something: flowers. The ones at your local Whole Foods or florist would push you over your budget for the meal, even if your friends, provided that they’re decent humans, are bringing wine. Hark! The Trader Joe’s on 14th Street NW has a sundry collection of flora at a bargain. Who knew you could find chrysanthemums for less than $10? They may not last long, but they will impress —Andrew Giambrone your guests.

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GOODS & SERVICES Best Way to Waste an Afternoon, Staff Pick: National Arboretum Eagle Cam

Best Bike Amenity Nationals Park Bicycle Valet washington.nationals. mlb.com

Baseball games are long, so it’s ideal to get to and from the stadium without adding much more time to the gameday slog. The nearest Metro station to Nationals Park is just a block away from the center field gates, but it doesn’t feel so close when you’re plodding through a crowd of thousands of people. Two parking garages abut the stadium, but they charge nearly $50. Then there’s the bicycle valet, a space on the ground level of one of those pricey garages. It’s mere steps from the right field gates on First Street SE, and it’s free to lock up there. Even pitcher Max Scherzer, he of the $210 million contract, could appreciate that. —Zach Rausnitz

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Best Bar for Drinking Alone While Contemplating Your Own Mortality Angles Bar

2339 18th St. NW, (202) 462-8100, anglesbar.com

It’s a rough time for America right now. There are more mass shootings in the U.S. than almost any other country in the world. Tensions between its citizens—especially between black Americans and law enforcement officials—is staggeringly high, making it seem like the country hasn’t evolved much since the 1950s. Donald Fucking Trump, of all people, has a very real shot at becoming our next president. It’s enough to drive anyone to drink. Luckily, there’s Angles in Adams Morgan. It may be situated in what’s arguably the most obnoxious nightlife spot in the city, but the bar’s divey atmosphere, cheap pitchers, jukebox full of corny classic-rock jams, and unpretentious atmosphere is the perfect place to hunker down, drink, and wonder what the —Matt Cohen fuck the point of it all is.

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Best Place to Get a Good Deal on an Ugly Couch ReStore

Multiple locations, habitat.org/restores

I have very specific taste in furniture: I like overpriced, mid-century pieces made of actual wood that I cannot afford, and very ugly, old couches. Let me be more specific: very ugly and old, and preferably covered in velvet that has spent the last 40 years under a protective layer of plastic. While Craigslist is a good source if you have time to drive out to the deep suburbs of Maryland and Virginia, Habitat for Humanity’s ReStore locations in Northern Virginia and Montgomery County offer a decent, curated option. Their best selection is previewed online, but beware: You need to call ahead to see if the piece is still available or you risk disappointment. On the Saturday I visited the Silver Spring location, white-tag items were 75 percent off. That’s how I snagged my couch for $25. It’s a threeseat, cream-colored, floral-embossed nightmare—and I absolutely love it. —Sarah Anne Hughes

Best Food Delivery Service UberEats Instant Delivery ubereats.com/dc/

The worst part about food delivery is the wait. By the time that greasy pad Thai finally, finally arrives, you’re so hungry you’d eat the cat. So bless Uber for instant gratification. Last summer, the rideshare app launched an “instant” food delivery service that promises your meal will arrive in 10 minutes or less. Drivers are so speedy because they carry a limited number of dishes with them in the car. (Don’t worry, they regularly restock so stuff isn’t sitting around forever.) The options are actually really good: a meaty palmer sandwich from DCity Smokehouse, chicken tikka masala from Rasika, or a hummus bowl from Little Sesame, to name a few. The only drawback is that the service is confined to 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in a limited geographic area. UberEats recently launched a separate pick-up delivery service that offers full menus from more than 100 restaurants seven days a week. But why wait 30 minutes when —Jessica Sidman you can wait five?

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PEOPLE & PLACES Best Shopping Center, Readersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Pick: CityCenterDC

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Readers’ Picks PEOPLE & PLACES

BESt APArtmEnt BuiLding

The Shay 1924 8th St. NW, (855) 419-4687, theshay.com Readers Say: “Very classy and chic!” Runners-Up: Fahrenheit, Parc Riverside

BESt ChArity EvEnt (tiE)

City Dogs Rescue, Dining Out With Dogs citydogsrescuedc.org

Readers Say: “So fun and for a great cause!”

DC Central Kitchen, Capital Food Fight capitalfoodfight.org

Runners-Up: My Girlfriend’s House Shelter Room Makeover Party

BESt COLLEgE/univErSity

Georgetown University 3700 O St. NW, (202) 687-0100, georgetown.edu Readers Say: “HOYA SAXA! Runners-Up: The George Washington University, American University

BESt COLumniSt

Carolyn Hax

Readers Say: “Insightful, genius-level advice on social and relationship issues.” Runners-Up: Petula Dvorak, Eugene Robinson

BESt COmmunity BLOg

PoPville popville.com

Readers Say: “Great source for information.” Runners-Up: BabyFriendlyDC.com, Petworth News

BESt drAg King (tiE)

Avery Austin dckings.com/meet-the-kings/ avery-austin/ Ken Vegas dckings.com/ meet-the-kings/ken-vegas Runners-Up: Sebastian Katz

BESt drAg QuEEn

Ba’Naka twitter.com/banakadev Runners-Up: Desiree Dik; Kristina Kelly, Shi-Queeta Lee, Summer Camp (tie)

Best College/University, Readers’ Pick: Georgetown University

BESt ELEmEntAry SChOOL

Washington Yu Ying PCS 220 Taylor St. NE, (202) 635-1950, washingtonyuying.org Readers Say: “The school is fantastic, the parents caring and helpful, and the students are motivated and fun!”

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Runners-Up: Inspired Teaching Public Charter School, Creative Minds International Public Charter School

BESt EmBASSy EvEnt

EU Embassies’ Open House euopenhouse.org Runners-Up: Passport DC, Professionals in the City Embassy Events

BESt grAduAtE PrOgrAm

Georgetown University 3700 O St. NW, (202) 687-0100, georgetown.edu Readers Say: “Gets employment!” Runners-Up: American University, George Washington University

PEOPLE & PLACES BESt nOnPrOfit

City Dogs Rescue 2121 Decatur Place NW, (202) 567-7364, citydogsrescuedc.org Readers Say: “I got weeks of unconditional love and the satisfaction of helping a stray find her fur-ever family.” Runners-Up: Casey Trees, Food & Friends

BESt PLACE tO dAy triP

Annapolis

Readers Say: “Go for the crabs, stay for the shopping” Runners-Up: Shenandoah, Va., Baltimore

BESt PLACE tO find A OnE-night StAnd

Professionals in the City 2950 Van Ness St. NW, (202)-686-5990, prosinthecity.com Readers Say: “My son met his wife there, too.” Runners-Up: The Wonderland Ballroom, Town Nightclub

BESt PLACE tO tAKE A tindEr dAtE

McClellan’s Retreat 2031 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 265-6270, mcclellansretreat.com

Best Elementary School, Readers’ Pick: Washington Yu Ying PCS

Runners-Up: Bar Pilar; Barrel, Black Jack (tie)

Runners-Up: Bonny King-Taylor, Tracee Persiko

their unique teaching style.”

Woodrow Wilson High School 3950 Chesapeake St. NW, (202) 282-0120, wilsonhs.org

BESt LOCAL CrAftEr

Runners-Up: Alice Deal Middle School; DC International School, Takoma Park Middle School (tie)

Readers Say: “Most diverse, best extracurriculars. Kids go on to Yale and Harvard, a range of state schools, and HBCUs.”

Runners-Up: Kuzeh Pottery, She.Rise

BESt high SChOOL

Runners-Up: Gonzaga College High School, Duke Ellington School of the Arts

BESt hOtEL

W Hotel 515 15th St. NW, (202) 661-2400, wwashingtondc.com Runners-Up: The Jefferson Hotel, Mandarin Oriental

BESt hOuSE Of WOrShiP

World Mission Society Church of God 700 A St. NE, (202) 506-4220, wmschurchofgod.org Readers Say: “This church is AMAZING! God literally dwells here!” Runners-Up: Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, National Community Church

Katie Stack shopstitchandrivet.com BESt LOCAL inStAgrAm ACCOunt

Taylor Gourmet @taylorgourmet

Runners-Up: @wethepizza, @dcmillennials

BESt LOCAL SPOrtS PLAyEr

Bryce Harper

Readers Say: “Values of Mother Teresa.” Runners-Up: Alexander Ovechkin, John Wall

BESt LOCAL SPOrtS tEAm

Washington Nationals 1500 South Capitol St. SE, (202) 675-6287, nationals.com Readers Say: “#Natitude.” Runners-Up: Washington Capitals, D.C. United

BESt middLE SChOOL

Frank M. Brown Jr. frankbrownjr.com

Inspired Teaching Public Charter School 200 Douglas St. NE, (202) 248-6825, inspiredteachingschool.org

Readers Say: “He has helped me through some of the hardest times of my life!”

Readers Say: “The principal is amazing and there are teachers who have won awards for

BESt LifE COACh

BESt PLACE tO tAKE An Out-OftOWnEr

Fiat Luxe Tours (818) 288-7590, fiatluxetours.com

BESt mixEd-uSE dEvELOPmEnt

City Vista cityvistadc.net

Readers Say: “The views were amazing, the stories captured our attentions, and the group had such great questions.”

Runners-Up: CityCenterDC, Monroe Street Market

Runners-Up: National Mall, The Park at Fourteenth

BESt nEighBOrhOOd tO gO Out in

BESt PLACE tO vOLuntEEr

U Street Corridor

Food & Friends 219 Riggs Road NE, (202) 269-2277, foodandfriends.org

Runners-Up: H Street NE, Shaw

BESt nEighBOrhOOd tO LivE in

Capitol Hill

Readers Say: “Friendly, great for kids (and dogs), and H Street has made it better than ever.” Runners-Up: Shaw, Columbia Heights

Readers Say: “Super good cause, extremely well organized for volunteers” Runners-Up: Lucky Dog Animal Rescue, City Dogs Rescue

BESt POOL With A BAr

Penthouse Pool Club Multiple Locations, penthousepoolclub.com

BESt nEW COndOS

The K at City Vista 475 K St. NW, (202) 682-4525, katcityvista.com

Runners-Up: Capitol Skyline Hotel; Liaison Hotel, Rooftop Bar at Donovan Hotel

Runners-Up: Atlantic Plumbing, CityCenterDC

BESt PrESChOOL

BESt nEWS AnChOr

Jim Vance nbcwashington.com Readers Say: “Love him—down to Earth and trustworthy” Runners-Up: Doreen Gentzler; Eun Yang, Wendy Rieger (tie)

Toddlers on the Hill Montessori Experience 800 11th St. NE, (202) 397-1562, toddlersonthehill.org Runners-Up: Inspired Teaching Public Charter School, Bridges Public Charter School

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PEOPLE & PLACES Best Neighborhood to Live In, Readers’ Pick: Capitol Hill

BESt PrOPErty mAnAgEmEnt COmPAny

Nomadic Real Estate 727 15th St. NW, (202) 223-9019, nomadicrealestate.com Readers Say: “Some of the best people to work with.” Runners-Up: EJF Real Estate Services, Nest DC

BESt rAdiO PErSOnALity

Kojo Nnamdi thekojonnamdishow.org Readers Say: “D.C.’s radio airwaves wouldn’t be the same without the smooth, dulcet tones of Kojo.” Runners-Up: Kane Show, Tommy McFly

BESt rEAL EStAtE dEvELOPEr

Ditto Residential 2217 14th St. NW, (202) 417-3937, dittodc.com

Readers Say: “Very creative, yet practical.” Runners-Up: The JBG Companies, The Neighborhoods of EYA

BESt rESidEntiAL BuiLdEr

Karma Home Designs 1300 I St. NW, (202) 642-4663, karmahomedesigns.com Runners-Up: Ditto Residential, The Neighborhoods of EYA

BESt rEStAurAnt tO BAng in thE BAthrOOm

Mason Social 728 N. Henry St., Alexandria, (703) 548-8800, mason-social.com Runners-Up: The Coupe; Right Proper Brewing Company, Rumors (tie)

BESt ShArEd WOrKing EnvirOnmEnt

WeWork

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Multiple Locations, wework.com Readers Say: “I love being able to rub shoulders with like-minded entrepreneurs and the free beer on tap isn’t too shabby either!” Runners-Up: 1776, Cove

BESt ShOPPing CEntEr

CityCenterDC citycenterdc.com Readers Say: “All of the high-end brands are here in beautifully designed stores.” Runners-Up: Eden Center, Tysons Corner

BESt SPOrtS COACh

Denis Chekuristov dcway.net

BESt SummEr CAmP

Congressional Camp 3229 Sleepy Hollow Road, Falls Church, (703) 533-0931, congocamp.org Readers Say: “They pay so much attention to you, and the staff is always enthusiastic and amazing.” Runners-Up: Sportrock Climbing Centers, Valley Mill Camp

BESt trAvEL AgEnt

Sari Greene sarigreenetravels.com Runners-Up: Jessica Pociask, Stamp’d Travel

Readers Say: “Denis is equally awesome whether working with kids brand new to soccer or seasoned veterans!”

BESt tWittEr PErSOnALity

Runners-Up (Tie): Barry Trotz, Ben Olsen

Readers Say: “The Sultan of Snark.”

@dougfun dougfun.com

Runners-Up: @FunnyJared, @NotTomSietsema

To all of Casey Trees’ friends, volunteers and Members who help us make a difference in restoring, enhancing and protecting the tree canopy of the nation’s capital, we say

Thank you

FOR VOTING US ONE OF THE BEST NONPROFITS

Join us April 28, for the

THIRD ANNUAL CANOPY AWARDS Visit caseytrees.org for more information, volunteer and education opportunities, tree plantings, workshops and more! washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 131

Staff Picks PEOPLE & PLACES

Best Washington Post Writer Martin Weil

Best Non-Zoo Animal at the National Zoo

Best Washington Post Writer, Staff Pick: Martin Weil

washingtonpost.com/people/ martin-weil

Black-Crowned Night Heron

3001 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 633-4888, nationalzoo.si.edu

The Jeff Bezos–era Washington Post plays host to all kinds of reporters, from quick-flip blog artists to Style section thumbsuckers. But no Post writer does it better than 50-year Post vet Marty Weil, who’s often tasked with turning tight-lipped, oddly phrased reports from government agencies into something readable. A graffitied police car, in Weil style, got an “unauthorized paint job.” A two-paragraph story on Metro trains hitting deer can fit in a Hamlet quote. One of Weil’s weather reports makes for good year-round life advice: “Maybe it will rain,” Weil writes. “Unlimber the umbrellas.” —Will Sommer

The black-crowned night heron isn’t the most exotic animal you might encounter at the National Zoo’s Bird House, nor is it the handsomest. But one may take you by surprise, especially if you’re not expecting it to dramatically exit an exhibit that it appeared to be confined to only moments before. These feathery freeloaders happily chow down on food provided by the zoo, but these wild animals are only guests. They’ve been making summer migrations to this wooded hill for at least 100 years and spend the rest of their time wintering down in Florida. The birds are fun to watch, but the real entertainment value is the tourists they shock each day. Take a bench by the Bird House in the summer, and watch as families catch sight of an apparent great escape and fret about whether or not to flag down a zookeeper. —Riley Croghan

Best Taste of D.C.Lite on a Saturday Avery’s Bar and Lounge

1370 H St. NE, (202) 525-2827, averysonhst.com

On a Saturday night, this narrow bar offers a taste of D.C.’s contradictions: a chill, dive-y atmosphere with optional bottle service and a DJ spinning everything from old-school to trap music accompanied by a live drummer. Everyone who RSVPs via Avery’s website gets in free before 11 p.m., but be sure to get there before it gets crowded to take advantage of the amazing rooftop with sweeping views of the city and the monuments. Plus, Avery himself is often in the building playing host. You might even hear a pocket groove or two played over your favorite songs. —Nena Perry-Brown

Best Public Pothead Adam Eidinger

twitter.com/aeidinger

Cannabis users and citizens who follow local news have almost certainly heard of Adam Eidinger, who knows a thing or two about beat-

Best Planned Structural Transformation National Zoo Bird House

3001 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 633-4888, nationalzoo.si.edu

ing the drum for the District’s legal-marijuana movement. A ballot measure he spearheaded in 2014, Initiative 71, allows for residents to grow and smoke modest amounts of weed at home. In the past year, he’s organized an effigy burning on the National Mall for drug war victims, an effort to get officials to seriously

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consider “cannabis clubs” (semi-private venues where people can legally consume), and— just last weekend—a smoke-in in front of the White House. Keep ’em coming, Adam. —Andrew Giambrone

Hidden on a hill behind the panda habitat, the National Zoo’s Bird House, built in 1928, looks a bit gloomy. Aside from the daft kiwis who stumble around in the dark, the rest of its avian residents struggle to draw visitors’ attention. In an attempt to revive the space and teach the community about birds that don’t live in cages, the Zoo will transform it into “Experience Migration,” a center focused on the lives of migratory birds. Scientists from the Smithsonian Migratory Bird Center will also explain why they’re protecting

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PEOPLE & PLACES

Best Massive Construction Project Capitol Crossing

I-395 bounded by 2nd, 3rd, and E streets NW and Massachusetts Avenue NW, capitolcrossingdc.com

There is no shortage of transformational construction projects underway (The Wharf, on H Street NE, in Navy Yard), and more are forthcoming (possibly McMillan, St. Elizabeths, D.C. United’s stadium) that will usher in considerable changes in these areas. But unlike the others, Capitol Crossing, the massive and ambitious project decking over 395, literally builds more city. Soon gone will be the gash left by a mid-century urban highway experiment, and in its place, out of thin air (or thin air rights?) will emerge seven acres of new urban land, to be covered by 2.2 million square feet of mixed-use development (with an Eataly!) and a reconnected street grid. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime do-over to cover up the planning mistakes of the past. —Brian McEntee

Best Place for a Japanese Tea Garden Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium 2400 East Capitol St. SE

Will professional football ever return to its historic home at RFK? Beats me. While EventsDC has hired prestigious architecture firm OMA to craft plans for the future of the site (with or without the Pigskins), the neighbors sure seem to want anything but a new stadium. From a community meeting about RFK’s redevelopment this past fall came one out-of-the-bento-box idea: a Japanese tea garden. Designed as contemplative escapes with an emphasis on Zen and idealized natural landscapes, nothing would be quite as antithetical to the rough and brusque NFL. Out with the Hogettes, in with the hōjicha. —Brian McEntee

Best Place for a Japanese Tea Garden, Staff Pick: Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium

Best Blocked Bike Lane 15th Street Cycletrack

these traveling wonders, from brightly colored warblers to diving shorebirds, who fly thousands of miles every year while avoiding threats both natural and manmade. Pandas have never looked lazier. —Caroline Jones

Best Subculture Save McMillan Park savemcmillan.org

What drives dozens of people to want to save a park that doesn’t actually exist? That’s the question behind Save McMillan Park, the motley crew of activists that aims to stop a planned development on Ward 5’s 25-acre McMillan Sand Filtration Site. The parkers seem to have finally lost their yearslong fight, but at least they’ll leave behind

the most intricate folkways of any recent District protest movement. Save McMillan Park types weave colored material into the fence surrounding McMillan to spell out their messages; they have a blood feud with Ward 5 Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie that plays out on posters around town. Last Halloween, protesters showed up at a commemoration of The Exorcist to call for an exorcism of developer “devils.” Their insistence on steering any conversation towards McMillan has exasperated WAMU’s Kojo Nnamdi, who regularly catches calls from parkers attempting to hijack unrelated shows. When the District’s most even-tempered radio personality fumes at you, you —Will Sommer know you’ve made it.

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Best Place to Catch a Glimpse of FLOTUS SoulCycle Multiple locations, soul-cycle.com

It’s no secret Michelle Obama loves SoulCycle. According to the New York Times, FLOTUS has made “stealthy trips” to at least three of D.C.’s four SoulCycle locations where she reportedly takes private sessions. A typical Obama visit goes like this: First, half a dozen police cars show up, lights flashing. Then, a black SUV pulls up and out steps the first lady clad in workout gear. No, you can’t take a photo, and no, you probably won’t be able to talk to her. But you’ll be able to tweet about it after the fact, and what else matters? —Tim Regan

Intersection of 15th and L streets NW

Jeff Bezos hates bicyclists. OK, probably not. But as a result of the Washington Post’s move to Franklin Square and Fannie Mae’s demolition of the old building to construct their new HQ, the corner of 15th and L streets NW, the nexus of D.C.’s protected bike network, is now, in technical engineering terms, a total shitshow. While the cycletracks remain in theory, the nearby sidewalk closures have turned the bike lanes into de facto pedestrian paths (in spite of the signs that read “Bikes Only”). As things stand, it could be this way for two years. —Brian McEntee Invest in a good bell.

Average home prices are based on 2015 sales. Walk Score® is an independent rating agency.

Pigtown

Average Home Price: $103,444 Walk Score®: 87

Reg is

Barclay

Average Home Price: $108,713 Walk Score®: 89

T MA “Bu our Ne Y 14T ter a ying ighbor H h I t Li veB nto Ba oods a t alti l mo timor re.c e.” om /ev ent s.

Remington

Average Home Price: $133,926 Walk Score®: 82

What would you do with an extra $1,000 in your pocket each month? Dine out more? Take a vacation? Pay off those pesky student loans?!?! By living in Baltimore City, this “tough” decision could soon be yours. Homes in Baltimore’s most desirable and walkable neighborhoods are considerably more affordable than those in DC. And with the commute by train clocking in at under an hour, it’s no wonder many District workers are choosing to make Baltimore home.

Find your home in Baltimore City. LiveBaltimore.com 16-LBT-005 Wash-City_Apr_MECH.indd 1

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PEOPLE & PLACES

which I am the editor). Just enough time to —Tim Regan savor the memories.

Best Uniforms Washington Wizards “Baltimore Pride” Kit nba.com/wizards

The Baltimore Bullets’ signature uniform between 1969 and 1973 featured a broad navy and orange racing stripe that wrapped from the players’ left shoulders to right hips. Because everything old is new again, the 2015– 16 Washington Wizards’ “Baltimore Pride” uniforms feature a similar stripe that wraps around the players’ torsos. This stripe, however, is narrower and its positioning on the jersey and shorts perfectly cups their genitals and asses. It’s also placed on a tight, sleeved top that looks more like a pajama set worn by a small child than a sports uniform. Why, then, is this kit the best? Because in a disastrous season in which the Wiz are likely to miss the playoffs, these garish monstrosities are a solitary source of entertainment. —Caroline Jones

Best Shared Workspace Cove

Multiple locations, cove.is

Workplaces were among the first things to be “disrupted” by the so-called sharing economy, and these days you can find any number of start-ups, blogs, or consultants working out of small but eminently hip offices in buildings designed to look like millennial playgrounds. Unlike the heavy hitters, Cove isn’t trying to replace your office; instead, it offers a step up from Starbucks at roughly the same cost of the many coffees you have to buy to avoid looking like a freeloader. With multiple locations, quiet spaces, and as much Keurig coffee and snacks as you can handle, Cove is a huge boon for introverted freelancers on a budget. —Riley Croghan

Best Shared Workspace, Staff Pick: Cove

Best Place to Make New Friends

Best Place to Play Pool Best Sign of the Times While Smoking a Cigarette Forthcoming J. Crew in Former “Men’s

Darnell’s Bar

Ivy and Coney

944 Florida Ave. NW, (202) 290-2865, darnellsbar.com

1537 7th St. NW, (202) 670-9489, ivyandconey.com

Situated on the cusp of the oft-overwhelming U Street area, Darnell’s is an after-work neighborhood bar done right. And every Friday night, the small lounge transforms into a sweaty house party. With limited bar space and only one bathroom, you’re sure to get plenty of face time with everyone there. Partygoers include college students and empty nesters, and Darnell is always on hand, meeting and greeting patrons new and old. While the spot certainly has its regulars, everyone is friendly and won’t let you drink alone—they might not even let you —Nena Perry-Brown pay for your drink.

Do you miss the days when you could shoot some pool in a public place with a cigarette dangling out of your mouth? Ivy and Coney has got you covered. At its new, semi-enclosed rooftop bar, you can order drinks, sit at the picnic tables, and hover around the billiard table, all without putting down your smoke. I can’t think of anywhere else in D.C. where you can smoke and play pool at the same time. As a smoker myself, this is all very exciting— until I decide to quit again, that is. —Elena Goukassian

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Parties” Sex Club on 14th Street 1618 14th St. NW

Those who’ve lived in D.C. long enough can tell you just how unrecognizable 14th Street NW has become these days. A shelter for the needy has transformed into a luxury goods store and condominiums have sprouted from dirt lots. Now, the latest and perhaps most poetic sign of the street’s increasing focus on affluence: The formerly dilapidated building that once held the infamous and seedy “Men’s Parties” sex club will become, of all things, a J. Crew that only sells men’s clothing. The location will open its doors in June, according to local news site Borderstan (of

Best Farm That Will One Day be a Pepco Substation The K Street Farm

K Street and New Jersey Avenue NW, dcgreens.org/k-st-farm

At the corner of K Street and New Jersey Avenue NW, near a clump of newly constructed condo buildings and the aging Sursum Corda low-income co-op, is a farm: almost one acre of green, where vegetables grow, chickens lay eggs, and bees make honey, in the middle of a part of the District that sorely lacks this type of natural resource. Run by DC Greens, it serves as a job training center for future farmers and an outdoor classroom for the students of Walker-Jones next door and other D.C. schools. It will also, one day in the future, be the site of a Pepco substation. The land on which the farm sits is city-owned and was traded away as part of the D.C. United

BALTIMORE’S BEST ADULT ENTERTAINMENT 2015 Baltimore City Paper BEST NATIONAL FEATURE CLUB Nominee, 2015 Exotic Dancer Magazine

FANTASIES is Pretty Much the

Gold Standard. r

Lap dances & Brand New VIP & Private Dance Rooms

— Baltimore City Paper, 2015

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Easy to get to from DC area, just minutes off BW Parkway

Large, free, well lit parking lot

every MONDAY Baltimore’s Best Monday Night Madness for 20+ Years

$1.50 Bottled Domestics / $2.50 Bottled Imports

Brett Rossi

All Brands, All Night PLUS Sports on the BIG SCREENS

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$100,000 video wall with all the sports action

> Pool tables

fantasiesnightclub.com 5520 Pennington Ave, Balt. MD 21226

FANTASIES NIGHTCLUB & SPORTS BAR

Like us on Facebook & Follow us on Twitter for exclusive updates and promotions! washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 137

P&P

Adopt a friend today!

FACTS ABOUT JENNY

BREED: HOUND (UNKNOWN TYPE) MIX • TRICOLOR (TAN/BROWN & BLACK & WHITE) • AGE: ADULT 2-3 YEARS • SIZE: MED. 35-40 LBS • SEX: FEMALE

Jenny’s Story... Jenny is a beautiful little 2-3 year old hound mix who came into the shelter as a stray. She is a very sweet and special girl

MEET JENNY

that had a rough start. It seems evident that at some point along the way, someone did not treat sweet Jenny with the love and respect that she deserved. Now, Jenny is having to re-learn how to trust humans. Since her arrival in D.C. on 12/11/15, emaciated, sad and confused, Jenny has blossomed into a very happy dog. She is still leery of strangers, but her fosters are working with her every single day to help her come out of her shell. Jenny has a very funny personality and when she is comfortable, will show her spunky side, which is hilarious. She is extremely well behaved in the home and has very good manners. Jenny is house trained in her foster home, but like most rescue dogs, may need a refresher when changing to a new environment. She has learned boundaries very quickly; does not beg for food and does not come into the kitchen when food is being prepared. Jenny responds well to her name, comes when called and walks well on a leash (especially if on a harness). She loves to go for walks and play, but also relaxes on the dog bed when it’s time to unwind. She is able to entertain herself well with all of her toys and is quiet in the home. Jenny is crate trained and goes in often on her own to relax or sleep. She never cries or complains about being in the crate and runs in right away when it’s time to eat. Jenny does seem to be her best self when she is with other dogs so we strongly believe that she will be happiest in a home with other friendly and confident dogs, which will in turn, help Jenny boost her own confidence. Additionally, Jenny has picked up the day to day routine very quickly, just by following their lead! Jenny, like most dogs coming from an abusive or neglectful background, just needs some stability and patience. She is a smart dog, and seems to know she is now safe and loved. Jenny will need a patient and loving home with experienced people who will appreciate her shy but fun-loving nature, and will help her develop confidence. She can’t wait to find a forever family in the D.C. area that will be patient with her and give her the time and space she needs to open up and gain trust.

Please contact Rural Dog Rescue www.ruraldogrescue.com to complete an application or visit Jenny at the adoption event this Saturday from 12 - 3 at Howl To The Chief 733 8th Street SE DC.

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stadium deal. The farm’s future was never guaranteed: It was probable that the District would redevelop the land into a mixed-use site where tenants of a public housing building, torn down almost a decade ago, could live. But instead, it will become what former Washington City Paper writer Aaron Wiener called “a street-deadening electrical facility,” all in the name of a taxpayer-funded stadium. But for now, it’s one the city’s greatest working farms; interested residents can volunteer as individuals on Thursdays and as part of a group on Friday and Saturdays un—Sarah Anne Hughes til November.

Best Government Hashtag Campaign #parkingdirty twitter.com/hashtag/parkingdirty

When the District Department of Transportation started using the hashtag #parkingdirty in May 2014, it was intended as an educational effort. An early tweet featured a photo of officers patrolling on Segways and, naturally, adapted Chamillionaire lyrics: “We’re rolling… trying to catch them #parkingdirty.” When Twitter users in and outside the D.C. area jumped onboard, posting pictures of vehicles of all shapes and sizes blocking bike lanes, it became more of an enforcement tool. The $65 fine is a moderate disincentive, but the public shaming is probably the most effective piece of the campaign. After a series of targeted tweets, it seems like —Emily Walz even UPS is getting better.

Best Reason to Love Canada The Echo Chamber at the Canadian Embassy

501 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, (202) 682-1740, can-am.gc.ca/washington

Between their on-trend down jackets and Prime Minister/living Lisa Frank illustration Justin Trudeau, Canada is on a roll north of the border. But Canada’s best contribution to the District has been here for years, right by its Pennsylvania Avenue NW embassy. From the street, the echo chamber looks just like another dome surrounded by pillars. Step inside, though, and hear everything you say echoed all the way to Alberta. Talk about —Will Sommer Canadian nice.

Best Place to See Environmental Degradation Firsthand Ballpark Boathouse

Diamond Teague Park, Potomac Avenue and First Street SE, (202) 337-9642, boatingindc.com

The Anacostia River’s banks were once home to an impressive array of industrial plants that poured their effluent into its waters. Many of

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the plants are gone, but their legacy remains: The Anacostia has been singled out as one of the most polluted rivers in the country. The Environmental Protection Agency filed suit last year against Pepco for allegedly violating its discharge permits and pumping toxins into the water on more than a hundred occasions between 2009 and 2014. Though the city is still in the mapping-the-pollutants phase that precedes the making-a-plan-to-clean-it-up phase, you can undertake your own survey any time after May 2. Rent a canoe and paddle upriver among the floating plastic bottles and sickly fish, or try a kayak to get that much closer to the certifiably unsafe water ($25 per hour for the canoe; $15 or $20 per hour for a single or double kayak). Sign the liability waiver, and you’re on your way. Wave at the anglers on the banks pulling up their tumor—Emily Walz riddled catches.

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Best Bike Lane M Street Cycletrack

The M Street NW cycletrack boasts the only raised bus median in the city, at the 24th Street NW Circulator stop en route to Georgetown. The median was built with the cycletrack in 2014, becoming part of a new wave of transit-bike interaction. The “floating” stop has a mid-street platform for bus passengers and slight up-ramps that let cyclists roll up and through between the stop and the sidewalk, avoiding the dangerous game of leapfrog with city buses. In the words of District Department of Transportation spokesperson Terry Owens, the design “helps to minimize conflict between cyclists and bus passengers by providing a safe passage for bicyclists behind the bus loading zone.” This portion of the track is the bike commuter’s dream, but the whole stretch from Thomas Circle is pretty wonderful, designed so that parked cars protect the bike lane instead of the other way around. If only they’d take this model and adapt it to Columbus Circle. —Emily Walz

Best Scam The $20 Change Scam

In a world of phishing and catfishing, the face-to-face grift can seem like a relic. But IRL con artistry lives on in the District, thanks to a unknown man who dupes earnest Washingtonians out of their $20 bills. After asking his marks to exchange their $20 bill for two of his $10 bills, he’ll distract them. In my case, he asked for directions to a faraway street, switched the $20 bill with a $1 bill, and claimed that I shortchanged him. Local blog reports suggest the scammer plies his trade all across downtown, an energetic criminal path that’s more remarkable for its low stakes. At a $19 profit for each grift, this —Will Sommer ain’t Matchstick Men.

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PEOPLE & PLACES Best Dog-Friendly Patio, Staff Pick: Wonderland Ballroom

Best Dog-Friendly Patio Wonderland Ballroom

1101 Kenyon St. NW, (202) 232-5263, thewonderlandballroom.com

I knew this Columbia Heights establishment had my favorite dog-friendly patio in D.C. when my several-month-old black lab/ beagle puppy chewed straight through his harness while there and got loose. Looking down and suffering a brief panic attack before discovering him under another picnic table—nestled next to another dog, of course—I was ultimately relieved that I didn’t have much to worry about: A fence enclosing the patio is tall enough to contain even a Great Dane. At Wonderland, water bowls are always available for your dog-child. So too are local beers and eggplant frites for fretful owners. —Andrew Giambrone

Best Place to Adopt a Fish Washington Humane Society

1201 New York Ave. NE, (202) 576-6664, washhumane.org

The Washington Humane Society facilitates the adoptions of

Best Place to Work on Your Laptop That Isn’t a Freaking Coffee Shop Kogod Courtyard

Smithsonian American Art Museum and National Portrait Gallery, 8th and F streets NW

Every time I’m sitting in the Kogod Courtyard, I wonder why I ever bother to type anywhere else. It’s warm in the winter and cool in the summer, bathed in natural light and surrounded by trees; it’s like you’re outdoors but somewhere with perfect weather, a bit of San Diego surrounded by stately columns. Free Wi-Fi. Abundant tables. Expansive space. Food and drink for sale. You want white noise? Give up the grind of the espresso machine for the laughter of kids splashing in the barelythere water features. Just charge up before you go. There are no outlets in heaven. —Camila Domonoske

Best City Hall Guessing Game The 2018 Mayoral Race Field

City hall can be a snooze these days. Most of the classic rascals have either died or been voted out of office, and no one has gone to prison for years. What’s a budget spat to a federal indictment? But Wilson Building wags have

hundreds of dogs, cats, and other animals every year. The organization doesn’t discriminate based on breed or size—or presence of gills. Yes, WHS, which recently merged with the Washington Animal Rescue League, also adopts out fish. Some come to the organization after their owners are evicted, says Chief Community Animal Welfare Officer Scott Giacoppo. In the past few years, WHS has also been called to two ponds that were being emptied and had to save hundreds of fish. They sometimes work with Congressional Aquarium in Rockville to find the fish a new home. Others come to WHS’ New York Avenue facility to be adopted. That includes an Amazonian pacu fish, which can grow to be two feet long and needs a tank that holds at least 250 gallons of water. Three months after it arrived to the shelter, WHS still couldn’t find anyone to take the South American fish. When Giacoppo came in recently, he saw the tank was empty and feared the worse. Happily—and somewhat miraculously—someone had adopted the fish. Most people, Giacoppo points out, will go to a pet store to buy a fish. But D.C. is one of the few places in the country where people have the option to give one a new forever home. —Sarah Anne Hughes

Best Public Restroom Downtown The Willard Intercontinental Hotel

1401 Pennsylvania Ave. NW, (202) 628-9100, washington.intercontinental.com

something new to gab about: the 2018 mayoral race. There’s a strong list of potential contenders to Muriel Bowser, including Ward 5 Councilmember Kenyan McDuffie and Attorney General Karl Racine. For now, waiting out Bowser’s second term looks like the easiest choice for ambitious pols who can afford to sit tight. But lots of one-term mayors, from Vince Gray to Bowser mentor Adrian Fenty, looked unbeatable until they weren’t. —Will Sommer

Best Vintage Board Game Night Woodrow Wilson House

2340 S St. NW, (202) 792-5810, woodrowwilsonhouse.org

Plenty of bars have board games on hand. But only the Woodrow Wilson House lets you feel super classy while you’re arguing over how to score a play. As a bonus, you can actually hear each other. The games are vintage, from the ’20s, ’30s, and ’40s, but the spirit of competition is timeless. The monthly event costs $15, which gets you snacks, two drinks, tons of board games, a few lawn games, and entrance into a historic site with a regular $10 admission price. It would be the best deal in town even if you didn’t get to play croquet in immaculate gardens. —Camila Domonoske

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Best Place to Work on Your Laptop That Isn’t a Freaking Coffee Shop, Staff Pick: Kogod Courtyard

Thank’s for voting BloomBars “Best Arts & Culture Non-profit” 5 years in a row! Harambee @BloomBars w/ Baba Ras D • Photo by Gediyon Kifle

We appreciate you, and all the other local arts non-profits we hope you will support. Come rock with us! All Ages. Music, Visual Arts, Dance, Theater, Film, Poetry. BloomBars.com @bloombars Keep Blooming!

Thank you for voting cove one of DC’s top Shared Working Environments 2016! When you don’t have—or don’t want—a dedicated office, you need places to, well, work. Just drop in to any of our locations around DC. This isn’t co-working; it’s getting things done how you want, when you want. Sign up for a free day at www.cove.is/BESTOF.

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Best Running Route, Staff Pick: Rock Creek Park Trails Finding a hospitable and sanitary place to pee downtown that isn’t behind a locked door or doesn’t smell like day-old broccoli cheddar soup from Panera can be an exercise in imagination and holding it. Luckily, at The Willard Intercontinental Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue NW, the tucked-away lobby bathrooms remain hidden gems that are open and available to worn out tourists and frustrated commuters. While extremely clean and easy to access, the Willard bathrooms aren’t exactly advertised on the hotel awning—stall seekers should use the hotel’s 14th and F streets NW entrance to avoid potential awkwardness with inquisitive lobby staff. Descend the stairs, go past the Victorian sofas and chandeliers, take a right at the Peacock Lounge, and at the end of a nondescript hallway, shiny porcelain and operational paper towel dispensers await you. —Quinn Myers

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To apply or learn more, visit a branch or call. And from all of us at Sandy Spring Bank—welcome home! *Loan program, details and offer subject to change and cancellation without notice. Must notify mortgage banker of offer at time of application. Not valid for commercial loan applications. Owner occupied properties only. Offer available for new applications only. Other program restrictions may apply. **Eligibility for the second lien program is determined by the applicant’s income and/or property location. Please contact a Sandy Spring Bank mortgage banker for specific details. ***Auto payment from a Sandy Spring Bank deposit account is available. • Member FDIC

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Best Feud Vince Gray and Yvette Alexander

What’s friendship compared to a D.C. Council seat? Former Mayor Vince Gray endorsed Yvette Alexander to replace him in the Ward 7 seat in 2007. In exchange, Alexander became one of his most reliable Council votes and endorsed his doomed re-

Thank You Washington City Paper

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SUMMER 3 d P r i n t i n g SCIENCE Climbing Wall

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Best Running Route Living in a major city can be a pain for runners in addition to a risk: There’s nothing that will ruin your day like almost getting hit by a vehicle when all you’re doing is trying to stay in shape. (Hear that, Maryland drivers?) That’s why I’m thankful for Rock Creek Park, an oasis in an urban desert, which gives runners a trail that runs north of Klingle Road NW along a quaint brook with a tiny waterfall and abutted by a historic cottage with a waterwheel. Keep going and you’ll find the real nature trails, à la Thoreau. —Andrew Giambrone

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RESPONSIBILITY Outdoor Education

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election bid in 2014. Now that the federal investigation that targeted Gray is over, though, the ex-mayor wants an easy seat— and Alexander holds it. With June’s Democratic primary just months away, Alexander’s patron-turned-rival says she’s been a disappointment at city hall. Alexander, who once defended Gray over the federal investigation, now runs polls testing whether she —Will Sommer can attack him on it.

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PEOPLE & PLACES

Best View, Staff Pick: Frederick Douglass National Historic Site

Best Place to Hole Up During an Apocalyptic Event Hecht Warehouse

1401 New York Ave. NE, (888) 705-3472, hechtwarehouse.com

The Hecht Warehouse in Ivy City seems like a nice place to live. Its ground floor features a MOM’s Organic Market and a Nike Factory Store, and the surrounding area is or will one day be home to Compass Coffee, Ivy City Diner, and Atlas Brew Works. There’s a game room in the basement complete with a bar, billiards, pinball machines, and shuffleboard. The more expensive lofts are everything you’d imagine—polished cement floors, glass-block windows, top-of-the-line appliances—with lots of privacy and security. Basically, if you lived in the Hecht Warehouse, you’d never have to leave. Which is why it would be the perfect place to hole up during an apocalyptic event—zombies, alien invasion, rapid climate change à la The Day After Tomorrow. You could easily survive there for months—hell, maybe even years—and not have to worry about running out of supplies, space, or things to do. —Matt Cohen

Best Underappreciated Panda Tian Tian

sperm donors: Hui Hui, a giant panda living in China, failed to sire Bei Bei after his frozen semen was flown more than 7,000 miles across the globe last year. Zoologists thought Hui Hui would produce a more genetically valuable cub than Tian Tian, who’d already fathered Bao Bao and Tai Shan with Mei Xiang. What’s a father? Here’s an answer, Fyo—Andrew Giambrone dor: Tian Tian.

Best Tree 390-Year-Old White Pine Bonsai at National Arboretum 3501 New York Ave. NE, (202) 245-2726, usna.usda.gov

The azaleas, the dogwoods, the state trees: The National Arboretum is home to several collections of gorgeous plants, but the undoubted jewel in its (floral) crown are its bonsai. The collection began after the 1976 U.S. bicentennial, when the Nippon Bonsai Association donated 53 trees to the federal park. That donation included a Japanese white pine that began bonsai training in 1625: more than 390 years ago. The oldest of the 150 or so bonsai at the Arboretum today, it was in Hiroshima when the city was bombed in 1945— and it survived. This amazing piece of history is on view for free between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. —Sarah Anne Hughes every day.

Best Pedestrian Feature

National Zoo, 3001 Connecticut Ave. NW, (202) 633-4888, nationalzoo.si.edu

The Chinatown Barnes Dance

“What is a father, a real father?” Dostoevsky wrote that line in The Brothers Karamazov, but it’s worth asking of Tian Tian, father to National Zoo superstar Bei Bei and sperm donor to mother Mei Xiang. Well, one of two

In a metro area that sometimes sees one pedestrian die each week, there’s nothing sweeter or more perverse than the Chinatown Barnes dance. That’s when the walk lights at the busy intersection of 7th and H streets NW sync up to allow for diagonal crossing. It

7th and H streets NW

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creates a The Purge–style situation where normal traffic rules are suspended and pedestrians rule the streets. Recently installed signs go further, encouraging pedestrians to use the diagonal. Maybe best of all, the traffic maneuver’s name—from traffic engineer Henry Barnes—is perfect for humming while you —Will Sommer boogie across the street.

Best Trip by Train Harpers Ferry

amtrak.com, mta.maryland.gov/marc-train

There are many reasons to visit the historic West Virginia town of Harpers Ferry: It was a key location during the Civil War; it’s where that state, Virginia, and Maryland meet; and it’s an entrance point for people who want to hike or camp along the Appalachian Trail. There are delightful small businesses and restaurants, and the scenery can’t be beat. Personally, I go for one reason—the John Brown Wax Museum. A $7 ticket buys you entry into an old rowhouse that smells like mildew and features wax figures that take wax-figurecreepiness to the next level. For example, wax figure Brown is shown on the stairs of the gallows preparing to be hanged. It’s horrifying and educational! Best of all, unlike many daytrip-from-D.C. options, Harpers Ferry is accessible by train. Plan your trip far enough in advance and you can snag a $10 or $12 oneway Amtrak ticket. MARC trains also travel between D.C. and Harpers Ferry on the Brunswick Line, Monday through Friday; —Sarah Anne Hughes tickets cost $12.

Best SEO IRL 14th Street Cafe Asian Bistro

1416 14th St. NW, (202) 588-0695, 14thstcafe.com

You’re browsing 14th Street NW for a lowkey place to eat, maybe a bistro. You don’t quite know what bistro means, but the word sounds right. Or maybe one of those restaurants that calls itself a “cafe” for some reason, but serves dinner. Busboys and Poets? Matchbox? Ted’s Bulletin? No, no, no. Those places are part of mini-chains, and while you’re on 14th Street, you want the authentic 14th Street experience. You want a place that literally says “14th Street.” You’ve had a hankering for some Chinese food lately, though you aren’t that discerning, so any kind of Asian food would do. Asia’s big, but still. That’s when, scanning the storefronts for one that matches the terms of your search, you notice a sign that reads 14th Street Cafe Asian Bistro. You approach the —Zach Rausnitz door. Click.

Best View Frederick Douglass National Historic Site 1411 W St. SE, (202) 426-5961, nps.gov/frdo/index.htm

While some for-profit spaces (like lame hotels with rooftop bars) may claim their views are the best in D.C., they are wrong. The District of Columbia can be best viewed from the spot where Frederick Douglass observed it in the late 1800s: from the front yard of his Cedar Hill home in Anacostia. At around 127 feet above sea level, a visitor can easily see the Capitol dome, Washington Monument, and the non-famous structures that stand in between. Many neighborhoods east of the Anacostia River like Congress Heights offer some great views of the city. But there’s something about looking at the District from outside Cedar Hill—a home that screams “history was made here”—that makes the view extra special. —Sarah Anne Hughes

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Thank You For Voting Valley Mill Camp One of the Best Summer Camps 2016! www.valleymill.com Located in nearby Darnestown, MD Transportation Provided 301-948-0220

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PEOPLE & PLACES Best Revival Borderstan

borderstan.com

D.C.’s local blog boom died years ago, and for good reason. After a while, a city just runs out doorknobs. Still, the recent resurrection of one-time hotshot local blog Borderstan is something to enjoy. Now administered by the Arlington blog empire behind ARLnow.com and new Editor Tim Regan—a sometime Washington City Paper contributor—Borderstan has been reborn as a prolific breaker of news in near Northwest. Sure, the traditional Borderstan beat has been opportunistically expanded from Logan Circle and Dupont Circle to “wherever affluent 20-somethings go.” But when the blogging is this good, who —Will Sommer can complain?

ly now more than ever. “Aaron is spending a lot of time next door now at Pineapple and Pearls, so it’s been kind of a whirlwind these last few months,” Lieberman says. But that’s OK, because “the work speaks to my heart.” While the paint is still drying at Silverman’s new fine dining establishment, Lieberman says he’s focused on adding new dishes, dining experiences, and cooking techniques at Rose’s. Meanwhile, upstairs on the roof garden (which is now an enclosed greenhouse), he’s offering year-round service with a different menu. “Really, my main focus is on

ditionally rural practice of farming to urban centers. While its research farm in Beltsville is by far its largest training ground, UDC’s green roof on a building at its Van Ness campus is in some ways more important. It takes the sustainable techniques learned at the Maryland site and right-sizes them for an urban environment. Graduate students with Urban Agriculture and Urban Sustainability concentrations, as well as participants in the Master Gardener program offered by the Center for Urban Agriculture & Gardening Education, use the green roof as a classroom

3118 Georgia Ave. NW, (202) 722-7202, colonyclubdc.com

J.P. Fetherston

Columbia Room, 124 Blagden Alley NW, (202) 316-9396, columbiaroomdc.com

Best Place to Hole Up Duing an Apocalyptic Event, Staff Pick: Hecht Warehouse

Best Non-Celebrity Chef BJ Lieberman

Rose’s Luxury, 717 8th St. SE, (202) 580-8889, rosesluxury.com

BJ Lieberman is perfectly fine with staying out of the limelight. And that’s pretty incredible, given that he runs one of D.C.’s most popular restaurants. Just whisper the name Rose’s Luxury, and most people automatically think of one person: Aaron Silverman. But behind Rose’s executive chef is a whole team of staff that makes the restaurant run seamlessly every single night. Lieberman leads the kitchen as chef de cuisine, especial-

Best Place to Meet an Attractive Single Hipster Colony Club

Best Brainiac Bartender Finally, there’s an answer for what to do with a history degree. Columbia Room’s J.P. Fetherston’s studies at the London School of Economics and Political Science make the brainiac bartender naturally curious about a drink’s history, which he relays to guests. “I try with as much concision as possible to give people some context. It’s all storytelling back there,” he says. Take the Iron Arm Grog, a drink from the bar’s opening menu that includes Scotch, myrtle berry liqueur, and brose (a rustic oatmeal-based porridge). The bar scored a set of horn mugs, leaving Fetherston and his team with the challenge of discerning who would drink out of such a vessel. “I got specific images pretty quickly of Vikings, Scandinavians, and big burly men up in the Scottish Highlands,” Fetherston says. They built the Game of Thrones–like drink from there. —Laura Hayes

to Verizon Center makes sense when you consider it his own experiment, albeit a very crazy one. In a March blog post, Leonsis laid out his plans to turn the still-unnamed arena football team into a “millennial-sensitive” viewing experience, complete with mic’d up players and virtual reality. For Leonsis, who made his fortune at AOL, the team can be the petri dish for new ideas that the Wizards and Capitals can’t. Who’s going to object? Fellow team owner Gene Simmons? —Will Sommer

the diners and their experience,” he says. “And honestly, I don’t ever want to be a celebrity chef. I don’t want to be on TV. I don’t even want to be in the newspaper.” —Tim Ebner

Best Roof UDC Green Roof

Building 44, 4200 Connecticut Ave. NW, udc.edu

The University of the District of Columbia may be located in the District of Columbia (see: a city), but its College of Agriculture, Urban Sustainability, and Environmental Sciences is preparing students to bring the tra-

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and lab. It’s also the largest green roof in the District, paving the way for more green roofs that will produce more healthy food that can reach more people. —Sarah Anne Hughes

Best Sports Team We Didn’t Know We Needed Arena Football

With D.C. already represented by one of the most storied football teams, it’s hard to imagine much demand for an arena football team staffed by players who couldn’t make it to the NFL. But Wizards owner Ted Leonsis’ decision to bring an arena football team

This place is hit or miss as a bar— some nights, you can go there and find Cool People fondling each others record collections; other nights it’s a nearly silent, empty museum of mid-century modern decor and just a few Cool People fondling their way through a first date. As a coffee shop, it can get crowded with Cool People on laptops, and the morning rush for a $3 cup of Ceremony drip will attract a phalanx of Cool People lightly jostling for position in the queue. Hang on… why is everyone here so cool? Why is everyone here so attractive? Why does everyone here know how to flirt with you, kind and soft-spoken, in a manner that seems to whisper, “Hey girl, I respect that you’re just going about your day, but if you want a compliment, I’d just like to let you know I’m brimming with the best kind?” Why does this place make me nervous every time I walk by? Why did I have to stop going here every morning? Oh yeah, because I was going broke on $3 cups of coffee for the chance to ogle some hot locals. If the proprietors open a togo window that allows me to swing by on the morning dog walk, I’ll be back to ruining my finances just to feel some —Emily Q. Hazzard butterflies.

Best Times Square Equivalent Chinatown

It’s easy to get jealous of New York City’s Times Square, a frenetic, often upsetting mix of drunk superheroes and topless desnudas. But the District has its own weird melting pot in Chinatown, where an all-LGBTQ gang shares the same crowded sidewalk with the Black Israelites. There’s no better mixing bowl for the modern District, where office workers and boozy Capitals fans walk by

Health Insurance Issues? Claim Denied? Confused about what your plan covers? C ALL THE

HEALTH CARE OMBUDSMAN 202.724.7491 OR 877.685.6391 TOLL FREE We are here Monday – Friday | 8:45am – 4:45pm HealthcareOmbudsman.dc.gov

The Knowledge to Guide You.

GOVERNMENT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

MURIAL BOWSER, MAYOR

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 147

PEOPLE & PLACES BEST PLACE TO GET STREETPASS HITS

The National Mall

Best Times Square Equivalent, Staff Pick: Chinatown

promenading teens so numerous that a developer once installed a youth-deterrent device that emitted a noise only teens could hear. Meanwhile, local regulations force national chains like Fuddruckers and Urban Outfitters to have Chinese signage for the area’s much-diminished Chinese-speaking population. Now all we need are some people —Will Sommer in Minions costumes.

Best Perk Stadium Tickets for Pols

District councilmembers live the sweet life. There’s the salary, north of $130,000 a year, and the ability to ignore nearly all parking

laws. But the best perk of public office for them, the mayor, and anyone tight enough with them has to be the city’s suites at Nationals Park and Verizon Center. The free tickets are so good that former Mayor Adrian Fenty started two fights with the D.C. Council over access to the suites. Along with access to Wizards, Capitals, Nationals, and NCAA games, the suites mean councilmembers can see the likes of Billy Joel perform at Nationals Park. The tickets are so good that Fenty, usually seen globetrotting with Steve Jobs’ widow, still manages to come back to the District every so often to enjoy a freebie. —Will Sommer

BlackBerrys and iPhones might dominate the attentions of most square-eyed Metro commuters, but if you look around during your next rush-hour trip, you might see a rat racer glued to something a little more flashy: a Nintendo 3DS, the handheld gaming system that features candy-colored plastic shells, two screens, and a glasses-free 3D effect. The device’s coolest trick is its ability to wirelessly connect to other nearby 3DS units, silently and automatically linking two gamers who might never otherwise have known that the other existed. This connecting function, called StreetPass, isn’t the privacy nightmare it might sound like; users trade only small, non-identifying, and mostly-asinine bits of information (“I like dogs!”) with each hit. When a StreetPass occurs, your 3DS calls out, Gatsby-like, with a pulsing green light, a signal that you can now check out the mini avatar of your new, anonymous friend. If that user is the first person you’ve met from a particular region or state, your system will shade in that part of a map that tracks which visitors from far-flung corners of the world you’ve been rubbing elbows with. When StreetPass first dropped in 2011, it was possible for an early adopter to go weeks without running into another 3DS owner. A Facebook group called StreetPass DC, apparently the first of its kind, formed specifically to bring gamers together so they could collect those coveted hits, which inspired similar groups to form worldwide. As 3DS sales have continued to chug along, it’s become downright easy to collect StreetPass hits in the city; it’s now entirely possible to get one or two per Metro ride (I recently cleared 600 unique hits), and most groups like StreetPass DC have disbanded. But Metro hits tend to be almost entirely with other D.C.-area owners, frustrating map geeks’ attempts to collect hits from gamers from far-off lands. To fulfill your quest for world StreetPass map domination, you’ve got to go where your D.C.-local instincts tell you not to: where the tourists are. A lap around the National Mall is your best year-round bet for those elusive StreetPass meetings with people from all over the globe (the Tidal Basin makes for even better hunting grounds, but only in the spring). Just remember to check your device every so often (the system can record up to 10 visitors per use before refusing to accept more hits) and you’ll be the StreetPass —Riley Croghan king in no time.

Best Streetcar Stop H and 13th Streets NE dcstreetcar.com

Take advantage of the streetcar’s free (for now) rides to check out the eastern end of the H Street NE corridor. Within a block of 13th Street, you can sip artisan cocktails inside a confessional (Church & State), drink Vigilante coffee on a patio that overlooks a courtyard (Maketto, upstairs), or knock back beer while playing mini-golf and skee ball (H Street Country Club). You

JU ST A D D ED !

can catch experimental theater, contemporary dance, and world music performances (Atlas Performing Arts Center), and live bands playing everything from surf rock to underground hip-hop to punk (Rock & Roll Hotel). And of course, there’s food: ramen (Toki Underground), Taiwanese-Cambodian steamed buns and fried chicken (Maketto, downstairs), locally-sourced small plates (Sally’s Middle Name), some of the best bagels in D.C. (Bullfrog Bagels), and flakycrusted sweet and savory pies (Dangerously —Emily Walz Delicious Pies).

BUILD A CATHEDRAL THIS SUMMER! The sky is the limit when it comes to creativity this summer!

Ju n e 2 0 th – Ju

ly 8 th

Rising First throug h Third Grader s 148 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Go behind the scenes in the Washington National Cathedral to find inspiration and work with a group of friends to build an 8 foot cathedral using just raw materials and imagination. This camp is exclusive to Beauvoir Summer—a truly one of a kind experience to kick-off summer. Visit www.beauvoirschool.org/summer for more information

THANKS FOR THE VOTE! Nest DC delivers one-of-a-kind property management. We create an exceptional living experience & contribute to a stronger local community. We genuinely appreciate your support!

202 540 8038 â&#x20AC;˘ nest-dc.com washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 149

By the NumBers

150,060 145,834 Total votes submitted

Total valid votes*

unique voters: 52,206 AverAge vAlid votes per cAtegory: 532 Biggest victories (winner’s votes as a percentage of total votes for a question)

Best Pawn Shop—Crown Pawnbrokers—85.71 percent Food & Drink 61,562

Best Place to Get a Tan—Body Bronze—80.1 percent Best Flea Market—The Flea at Eastern Market—80 percent Best Green Business—Community Forklift—76.72 percent Best Pest Control—Innovative Pest Management—74.86 percent

Narrowest victories (winner’s votes as a percentage of total votes for a question)

Best Event Venue—Josephine Butler Parks Center—4.94 percent Best Place to Take a Tinder Date—McClellan’s Retreat—5.19 percent Arts & Entertainment 18,742

Best Asian Restaurant—Thip Khao—5.2 percent Best Bar—Mason Social—5.97 percent Best New Restaurant—The Dabney—6.28 percent

categories with the most votes: Best Personal Trainer—3,469

Best Vet—1,897

Best Nonprofit—3,088

Goods & Services 47,920

People & Places 17,610

Best Bakery—1,778

Best Food Truck—2,163

Best Therapeutic Massage—1,701

Best Pizza—2,117

Best Coffee Shop—1,648

Best Local Brewery—2,110

Best Gym—1,568

reader commeNts we’re still coNtemplatiNg PScorpion and Zombie Bowls

The bison! The booze!

She is the Future

Yay, love FOX

the sassiest

Straight gangsta exhibits!

The evil empire! .... Enough said

They like Artists

They all suck

I want the piles of books to just collapse on me so I’m forced to read my way out.

Fairfax

They are all gangsters

Good clean Festive Fun!

hahahahahahaha- fuck comcast

#bagelblessed

only cuz dats who I got

Oh. My. Gaaawd. Yaaaaaaaaassss!

It is the best!!!!

Absolute joy is available on a TABLE by TABLE basis. mmmmmmm Its like totally tubuler

*Invalid votes are those that are disqualified due to ballot stuffing, fake email addresses, or other mischief.

150 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

$10 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M

TRIVIA EVERY M O N D AY & W E D N E S D AY

$3 PBR & NATTY BOH ALL DAY EVERY DAY

600 beers from around the world

Downstairs: good food, great beer: $3 PBR & Natty Boh’s all day every day *all shows 21+ APRIL 7TH

UNDERGROUND COMEDY SHOW STARTS AT 8PM APRIL 8TH

LAST RESORT COMEDY

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM APRIL 9TH

REST STOP BURLESQUE

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM APRIL 10TH

RAINBOW PROJECT DOORS AT 5PM SHOW AT 6PM APRIL 11TH

DISTRICT TRIVIA STARTS AT 730PM APRIL 12TH

LAST RESORT COMEDY

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 830PM APRIL 13TH

STARR STRUCK COMEDY SHOW

DOORS AT 7PM SHOW AT 8PM APRIL 14TH

UNDERGROUND COMEDY STARTS AT 8PM APRIL 15TH

WEIRDO SHOW

DOORS AT 8PM STARTS AT 9PM APRIL 16TH

SIDE SHOW CLASS STARTS AT 1PM

BLACK MARKET BURLESQUE

DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM 1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 151

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

JUST ANNOUNCED! SUMMER SPIRIT FESTIVAL FEATURING

Jill Scott • Erykah Badu • The Roots and more! ..........................AUGUST 6 & 7

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

Jonathan Richman featuring Tommy Larkins Early Show! 6pm Doors ... Th 7

The Lumineers w/ BØRNS & Rayland Baxter ............................. SEPTEMBER 10 On Sale Friday, April 8 at 10am

U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS

Baauer w/ Graves Late Show! 10pm Doors ........................................................... Th 7 Ace Frehley w/ Charm City Devils .............................................................................. F 8 Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors w/ Jill Andrews ................................. Sa 9 Napalm Death & Melvins w/ Melt Banana ...................................................... Tu 12 The Joy Formidable w/ Everything Everything ................................................ W 13 APRIL

Lissie w/ Skrizzly Adams ................................................................................... Th 14 Thao and the Get Down Stay Down w/ Saintseneca & Little Scream ....... F 15 The Feelies ...................................................................................................... Sa 16 The Dandy Warhols w/ Seratones ................................................................Su 17 Tokyo Police Club w/ From Indian Lakes Early Show! 6pm Doors .............. Th 21 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS

Dirtyphonics & Funtcase w/ Habstrakt Late Show! 10pm Doors ............. Th 21 Murder By Death w/ Kevin Devine and The Goddamn Band ............................F 22 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Tribal Seeds w/ Fear Nuttin’ Band & E.N Young ............................................ Sa 23 Puddles Pity Party This is a seated show. .................................................... M 25 Poliça w/ MOTHXR ............................................................................................. Tu 26 Bob Mould w/ Ted Leo (solo) ............................................................................W 27 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Elephant Revival .......................................................................................... Th 28 The Residents present Shadowland Early Show! 5:30pm Doors. ...............F 29 U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS

Miami Horror All 1/24 Miami Horror tickets honored. Late Show! 10pm Doors ..F 29 Maggie Rose & The Morrison Brothers Band Early Show! 6pm Doors . Sa 30 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS

Slander w/ Boombox Cartel Late Show! 10pm Doors..................................... Sa 30

Tesla • Vince Neil • Kix and more! ............................ APRIL 29 & 30

feat.

Jason Aldean w/ Thomas Rhett • A Thousand Horses • Dee Jay Silver .................. MAY 7 I.M.P. & AEG LIVE PRESENT

Pentatonix w/ Us the Duo & AJ Lehrman ............................................................ MAY 12 SWEETLIFE FESTIVAL FEATURING

The 1975 / Halsey / Blondie / Flume / Grimes and more! ................................... MAY 14

GV/FRANK PROD. PRESENT

Cage The Elephant w/ Portugal. The Man & Broncho .................................. MAY 15 Kenny Chesney w/ Old Dominion ....................................................................... MAY 19

CAPITAL JAZZ FEST FEAT

New Edition • En Vogue • Toni Braxton and more! ............................................. JUNE 3-5

Twenty One Pilots w/ MUTEMATH and Chef’Special .......................................JUNE 10 Ellie Goulding w/ Matt and Kim & Bebe Rexha ................................................ JUNE 13 Tame Impala w/ M83 ................................................................................................. JUNE 16 Chris Stapleton & Jason Isbell w/ Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls . JUNE 18 ALL GOOD PRESENTS MERRYLAND MUSIC FEST FEATURING

The String Cheese Incident • Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals and more! . JULY 9 & 10

Modest Mouse / Brand New ................................................................................ JULY 12 VANS WARPED TOUR PRESENTED BY JOURNEYS FEATURING

Falling In Reverse • Issues • Four Year Strong and more! .................................... JULY 16

Brandi Carlile & Old Crow Medicine Show w/ Dawes ......................... JULY 23

Shinedown w/ Halestorm • Black Stone Cherry • Whiskey Myers ....................AUGUST 10

Train w/ Andy Grammer ...............................................................................................AUGUST 20 Miranda Lambert w/ Kip Moore & Brothers Osborne .....................................AUGUST 25 • For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com

MAY

M. Ward w/ NAF ..................................................................................................Su 1 Parachute w/ Jon McLaughlin ............................................................................W 4 The Brian Jonestown Massacre ................................................................Th 5 Super Furry Animals .......................................................................................F 6 LITTLE STEVEN’S UNDERGROUND GARAGE AND SIRIUS XM PRESENT

The Sonics w/ The Woggles & Barrence Whitfield and The Savages ............... Sa 7 Frightened Rabbit w/ Caveman ......................................................................Su 8 Old 97’s & Heartless Bastards w/ BJ Barham (of American Aquarium) ....... M 9 Parquet Courts w/ B Boys Early Show! 6pm Doors ...................................... Th 12 Titus Andronicus w/ La Sera Late Show! 10pm Doors ................................. Th 12 Penguin Prison w/ ASTR & Savior Adore .........................................................F 13 The Kills w/ L.A. Witch Early Show! 7pm Doors ............................................... Sa 14 Mixtape: Alternative Dance Party

Echostage • Washington, D.C.

THIS FRIDAY! I.M.P. & STEEZ PROMO PRESENT

Big Gigantic w/ Mija • Louis the Child • MELVV • DELTAnine ................................ APRIL 8

X Ambassadors w/ Robert DeLong & Sara Hartman ............................................. MAY 12 Bloc Party w/ The Vaccines & Oscar ............................................................................ MAY 19 2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

Pimlico Race Course • Baltimore, MD BUDWEISER INFIELDFEST AT THE PREAKNESS FEATURING

The Chainsmokers • Fetty Wap • All Time Low and more! .............................. MAY 21

with DJs Matt Bailer and Shea Van Horn Late Show! 11pm Doors ........... Sa 14

Yeasayer w/ Young Magic .................................................................................. M 16 Say Anything w/ mewithoutYou • Teen Suicide • Museum Mouth .................. Tu 17 White Ford Bronco .........................................................................................F 20 JMSN ...................................................................................................................W 25 Caravan Palace .............................................................................................. Th 26 Hot In Herre: 2000s Dance Party ................................................................. Sa 28 RJD2 ...................................................................................................................Su 29 Christine and the Queens........................................................................... Tu 31 Nada Surf ............................................................................................................W 1

9:30 CUPCAKES

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL Cloud Cult w/ BBGun ..................... W APR 6 Run River North w/ The Lighthouse and The Whaler ....... Sa 9 Eleanor Friedberger w/ Icewater..... Th 14

Ryan Adams (Solo Acoustic).............................................................. JULY 26 On Sale Friday, April 8 at 10am

AEG LIVE PRESENTS

Welcome to Night Vale w/ Danny Schmidt & Carrie Elkin ....................... APRIL 18 & 19 JUSTICEAID PRESENTS

JUNE

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

1215 U Street NW Washington, D.C.

JUST ANNOUNCED!

Le1f w/ TT The Artist ............................. F 15 Coasts w/ Knox Hamilton & Symmetry..Sa 16 Prof w/ Mike Mictlan • DJ Fundo • Seez Mics .Su 17

Ozomatli plus Big Tony & Trouble Funk .................................................... MAY 15 Sam Beam and Jesca Hoop w/ Marlon Williams .............................................. MAY 21 Plastic Cup Boyz ................................................................................................... MAY 29 John Carpenter: Live Retrospective

Performing themes from his classic films and new compositions ............................. JULY 12 NIGHT ADDED!

FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECOND

Bryan Ferry w/ LP ................................................................................................. JULY 25 Gad Elmaleh ................................................................................................ SEPTEMBER 1 • thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office. 9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights. 9:30 CUPCAKES The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth. Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. www.buzzbakery.com

152 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

930.com

INER 60S-INSPIRED D Serving

EVERYTHING from BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

HAPPY HOUR:

$2 TUESDAY $3 THURSDAY $4 FRIDAY (ALL DRAFTS AND RAIL)

BRING YOUR TICKET

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

Club

TO GET A

FREE SCHAEFERS

SABBATH SUNDAY NIGHTS

CITYLIST Friday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Ace Frehley, Charm City Devils. 8 p.m. $40. 930.com. birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Don McLean. 7:30 p.m. $55. birchmere.com. The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Belinda Carlisle, Gape Lopez. 8:30 p.m. $58.50– $68.50. thehamiltondc.com. howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Ms. Lisa Fischer & Grand Baton. 8 p.m. $55–$95. thehowardtheatre.com. ioTa Club & Café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. Quiet Life, The Wild Reeds. 8:30 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com. marTin luTher King Jr. memorial library 901 G St. NW. (202) 727-0321. Puff Pieces. 12 p.m. Free. dclibrary.org/mlk.

PHIL COOK

Verizon CenTer 601 F St. NW. (202) 628-3200. Duran Duran. 7 p.m. $29.95–$134.95. verizoncenter.com.

Phil Cook’s music contains a genuine joy and reverence. These qualities are so rare that it’s immediately apparent from the opening piano trills that Cook’s debut solo record, Southland Mission, is something special. It’s what would happen if Muscle Shoals was in a small town in Appalachian coal country filled with the best Chicago, Detroit, and Memphis blues clubs. Southland Mission is steeped in music history, but never stuck in it. It feels strange to write “debut” alongside Cook’s name, as he’s been a central figure in the last decade of modern Americana and indie rock as a member of Megafaun and Hiss Golden Messenger and a collaborator with The Mountain Goats, William Tyler, and The Blind Boys of Alabama. Cook’s passion for every single note he plays means that he can pull all his influences into something that sounds old and fresh at the same time. Phil Cook performs with Dead Tongues at 9 p.m. at Rock & Roll Hotel, 1353 H St. NE. $15. (202) 388—Justin Weber 7625. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Funk & R&B musiC CenTer aT sTraThmore 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Patti LaBelle. 8 p.m. $65–$150. strathmore.org.

ElEctRonic u sTreeT musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881889. Max Graham. 10 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

Jazz

$5 Drafts & Rail Specials

monTpelier arTs CenTer 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. Fred Hersch. 8 p.m. $30. arts.pgparks.com.

located next door to 9:30 club

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 3887625. Phil Cook, Dead Tongues. 9 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Punk/Metal/Hardcore Classics

2047 9th Street NW

SearCh LISTIngS aT waShIngTonCITYpaper.Com

Music

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Ramsey Lewis. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $60–$70. bluesalley.com.

10:30 pm - Close

Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 153 Theater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1 5 8 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160

Hip-Hop

Kennedy CenTer millennium sTage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Indiana University Jacobs School of Music. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Devin The Dude, Backyard Band. 11:30 p.m. $25–$60. thehowardtheatre.com.

DJ nigHts

opERa

roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. Lightwaves. 9:30 p.m. Free. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 546-8412. The Kevin Cordt Quartet. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

aTlas performing arTs CenTer 1333 H St. NE. (202) 399-7993. UrbanArias: After Life and Josephine. 8 p.m. $27–$29.50. atlasarts.org.

BluEs

classical

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Kiss & Ride featuring Carly Harvey. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

barns aT wolf Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. The Aizuri Quartet. 7:30 p.m. $35. wolftrap.org.

sTaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church. (703) 237-0300. Robert Randolph and the Family Band, Moogatu. 9 p.m. $25–$30. thestatetheatre.com.

firsT CongregaTional uniTed ChurCh of ChrisT 945 G St. NW. (202) 628-4317. Washington Bach Consort: “Coffee Cantata.” 7 p.m. $10–$35. bachconsort.org.

saturday Rock

amp by sTraThmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Anacostia Delta: The Legacy of Danny Gatton. 8 p.m. $35. ampbystrathmore.com. barns aT wolf Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. A Bandhouse Gigs Tribute to Randy Newman. 7:30 p.m. $25–$27. wolftrap.org.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 153

---------3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

APRIL SHOWS

FRI 8

CHURCH NIGHT

FRI 8

BAE BAE 3

SAT 9 SAT 9 SUN 10

3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! A K-POP DANCE NIGHT

MIXTAPE

UNDER THE COVERS BURLESQUE (21+)

DAMAGED CITY FEST

DAY 3 / MAIN SHOW

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter! Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

Apr 7

RY COODER, SHARON WHITE, RICKY SKAGGS DON McLEAN 8 KEIKO MATSUI 9 10 BRANFORD MARSALIS

THE CHURCH Performing ‘The Blurred Crusade’, selections from new album ‘Further/Deeper’, & more!

Charles Ross’

17 ONE MAN 18

WED 13

THU 14 FRI 15

HARRY & THE POTTERS

CHAIRLIFT

SAT 16 202 COMEDY FESTIVAL PRESENTS: SUN 17

THE BIG SHOW

HAR MAR SUPERSTAR

MICHAEL CHE WED 20 WHITE DENIM TUE 19

THU 21

DAG NASTY

DARK KNIGHT

A Batman Parody

TUE 12 BRENDAN CANTY & CHRISTOPH GREEN’S BURN TO SHINE 6: ATLANTA W/ ALGIERS & SUNWOLF

GEOGRAPHER THE CROOKES

An Evening with

JAKE SHIMABUKURO

TOWER OF POWER 21 KARLA BONOFF & JIMMY WEBB MARC COHN 22 LLOYD COLE 23 GUITAR ARMY feat.

ROBBEN FORD, LEE ROY PARNELL, JOE ROBINSON ANDY McKEE 25 26&27

An Acoustic Evening with

JOHN HIATT

Rick Brantley

NAJEE

THE HOT SARDINES Ruby THE WAIFS Boots 30 May 3 ROBBY KRIEGER’S JAM KITCHEN 29

FRI APR 22 EUGENE MIRMAN ROBYN HITCHCOCK SAT APR 23

(Performing music of The Doors & more!)

DWEEZIL ZAPPA

5 (Via Zammata Tour) with Reformed Whores

JERRY JEFF WALKER THE AVETT presents BROTHERS

6&7

with special guest

BRETT DENNEN

May 15, 7:30pm

INTO IT. OVER IT.

THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE & I AM NO LONGER AFRAID TO DIE

Tickets On Sale Now through Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

“Until The Next Time” Saturday July 16, 8pm The Warner Theatre

TAKE METRO!

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

presents

mint condition Tickets On Sale Now through Ticketmaster.com/800-745-3000.

154 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

LARRY HAAS At a moment when American politics seems irreparably broken and when bipartisanship seems obsolete, Lawrence J. Haas has written a book about one of the most significant cross-party alliances in modern American history. In Harry and Arthur: Truman, Vandenberg, and the Partnership That Created the Free World, Haas—a former journalist and aide to Vice President Al Gore—recalls the partnership between President Harry Truman, a Democrat, and Sen. Arthur Vandenberg, a Republican, which produced such bedrock elements of U.S. foreign policy as the Marshall Plan to rebuild post-war Europe, the NATO military alliance, and the United Nations. “Historians often choose what stories to write about because they’re inspired by current events,” Haas says. “I wanted to address two myths about our current era—that our politics has never been more partisan, and that we’ve never faced such a tough set of challenges at home and abroad. Neither of those notions is remotely true, especially when held up against the late 1940s. Back then, the parties managed to collaborate over foreign affairs while fighting bitterly over domestic affairs.” Hear Haas’ argument for cockeyed optimism when he speaks at Politics & Prose. Larry Haas reads at 1 p.m. at Politics & Prose, 5015 Connecticut —Louis Jacobson Ave. NW. Free. (202) 364-1919. politics-prose.com. The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Willie Nile. 8:30 p.m. $20–$25. thehamiltondc. com. Speakers of the House. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com. howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Ms. Lisa Fischer & Grand Baton. 8 p.m. $55–$95. thehowardtheatre.com. u sTreeT musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881889. Run River North, The Lighthouse and the Whaler. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

ElEctRonic eChosTage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Jauz, Loudpvck, Aryay, Ghastly. 9 p.m. $20. echostage.com.

Jazz birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Keiko Matsui. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Ramsey Lewis. 8 p.m. (sold out) & 10 p.m. $60–$70. bluesalley.com. mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Kim Scudera with Batida Diferente. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

countRy fillmore silVer spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Charles Kelley, Josh Kelley. 8 p.m. $26. fillmoresilverspring.com.

Folk 9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, Jill Andrews. 8 p.m. $17. 930.com.

opERa aTlas performing arTs CenTer 1333 H St. NE. (202) 399-7993. UrbanArias: After Life and Josephine. 8 p.m. $27–$29.50. atlasarts.org.

classical Kennedy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Nikolaj Znaider, conductor; Benjamin Grosvenor, piano. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org. musiC CenTer aT sTraThmore 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess in concert with Marin Alsop, conductor. 8 p.m. $80–$110. strathmore.org.

DJ nigHts bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. (202)667-0088. DJ Mezkla. 10 p.m. $5. bossadc.com. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 3887625. MAKETTO By DURKL. 9:30 p.m. Free. rockandrollhoteldc.com. VelVeT lounge 915 U St. NW. (202) 462-3213. Escapism. 10 p.m. Free. velvetloungedc.com.

Vocal Kennedy CenTer millennium sTage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Manhattan School of Music Chamber Choir. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

sunday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Magic Man & The Griswolds, Panama Wedding. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com.

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bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. (202)667-0088. Francesca Blanchard. 9:30 p.m. $10. bossadc.com. fillmore silVer spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. The Cult, Holy White Hands. 8 p.m. $39.50. fillmoresilverspring.com. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. Legendary Shack Shakers, The Pine Hill Haints, The Glenmont Popes. 8 p.m. $14. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Jazz birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Branford Marsalis. 7:30 p.m. $35. birchmere.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Ramsey Lewis. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $60–$70. bluesalley.com. monTpelier arTs CenTer 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. “The Art of Listening to Jazz” with Nasar Abaday. 2 p.m. Free. arts.pgparks.com.

Folk naTional gallery of arT 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 737-4215. Rose Ensemble. 3:30 p.m. Free. nga.gov.

classical Kennedy CenTer millennium sTage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Peabody Institute. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. phillips ColleCTion 1600 21st St. NW. (202) 387-2151. Ingolf Wunder, piano. 4 p.m. (Sold out) phillipscollection.org.

Vocal naTional presbyTerian ChurCh 4101 Nebraska Ave. NW. (202) 429-2121. City Choir of Washington performs Tavener Requiem excerpts and Part III of Handel’s Messiah. 4:30 p.m. $15–$50. thecitychoirofwashington.org.

Monday Rock galaxy huT 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 525-8646. Martin Bisi, Tidal Channel, Time is Fire. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

classical Kennedy CenTer millennium sTage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Maryland Youth Chamber Orchestra Harp Ensemble. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

tuesday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Napalm Death, Melvins, Melt Banana. 7 p.m. $30. 930.com. birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Robin Trower. 7:30 p.m. $49.50. birchmere.com. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. The Subways, Pins. 8 p.m. $18–$ 20. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

BluEs The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Jimmie Vaughan and the Tilt-a-Whirl Band. 7:30 p.m. $30–$40. thehamiltondc.com.

WoRlD TropiCalia 2001 14th St. NW. (202) 629-4535. Fanfare Ciocarlia, Orchester Prazevica. 8 p.m. $20–$22. tropicaliadc.com.

classical Kennedy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Bavarian Radio Symphony Orchestra with Mariss Jansons, conductor, Leonidas Kavakos, violin. 8 p.m. $60–$125. kennedy-center.org.

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

SMASHING PUMPKINS Turning internal despair into bummed-out hits has become a predictable trope of indie rock, but when Smashing Pumpkins did it in the early ’90s, the genre didn’t quite yet feel as contrived or mundane as it does today. On Sunday at the Lincoln Theatre, the band, which is now basically just frontman Billy Corgan and a backing ensemble, brings its brooding and highly emotive songs to town, in part to promote the latest cycle of its most recent recording project, Teargarden by Kaleidyscope. The show is being billed as “an evening of acoustic based music and electronic soundscapes,” and as mysterious as that may sound, a recent blog post by Corgan has promised a section of the show will feature songs from the band’s 1993 album Siamese Dream. Even after a decade of mediocre albums and attracting almost peak-Morrissey levels of Internet mocking, Corgan’s reworked versions of “Today” and “Disarm” are likely to be special treats for both serious and casual fans. Smashing Pumpkins performs with Liz Phair at 8 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 1215 U St. NW. $85–$325. —Quinn Myers (202) 888-0050. thelincolndc.com.

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CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

ACCEPTS WITH PLEASURE Weddings are notorious sources of drama. From the copious amounts of alcohol to the outward professions of love that can wound the feelings of single people, celebrations of marriage have the tendency to be combustible. Playwright Dani Stoller combines all these elements in Accepts with Pleasure, read at Signature Theatre as part of its SigWorks new play series. When a pair of college friends decides to wed, the rest of their group shows up at the wedding and exhibits the worst behavior imaginable: drug binges, hook-ups, and confessions of long-held secrets. Will the power of love win out? Pray to Huey Lewis that that’s the case. Following the reading, Stoller, an actress who’s appeared with companies around town, discusses her writing process and possibly shares her own wedding horror stories that influenced this play. You’ll leave the theater with a list of how not to ruin your friends’ day just in time for wedding season. The reading begins at 7 p.m. at Signature Theatre, 4200 Campbell Ave., Ar—Caroline Jones lington. Free. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

Wednesday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. The Joy Formidable, Everything Everything. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. J.J. Grey & Mofro, The Record Company. 7:30 p.m. $35. birchmere.com. dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Bleached, No Parents. 9 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com. Jammin JaVa 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 255-1566. David Lindley. 7:30 p.m. $22–$30. jamminjava.com.

Jazz mansion aT sTraThmore 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Artist in Residence: Jan Knutson, jazz guitarist. 7:30 p.m. $17. strathmore.org.

BluEs sTaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church. (703) 237-0300. Buddy Guy. 8:30 p.m. $67. thestatetheatre.com.

WoRlD bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. (202)667-0088. Orchester Prazevica’s Gypsy Soul Party. 9:30 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.

classical Kennedy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Yo-Yo Ma and Emanuel Ax. 8 p.m. (Sold out) kennedy-center.org.

thursday Rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Lissie, Skrizzly Adams. 6 p.m. $25. 930.com.

howard TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 8032899. Construction Rocks: A Benefit for the Washington Animal Rescue League. 6:30 p.m. $25. thehowardtheatre.com. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625. Unearth, Ringworm, Reflections, Great American Ghost, Hollow Earth. 6:30 p.m. $18. rockandrollhoteldc.com. u sTreeT musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 5881889. Eleanor Friedberger, Icewater. 7 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

Jazz beThesda blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Ghost Note. 8 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Yellowjackets. 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. $35–$40. bluesalley.com. bossa bisTro 2463 18th St NW. (202) 667-0088. Levon Mikaelian, United Shades of Artistry. 9:30 p.m. $10. bossadc.com.

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ioTa Club & Café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. Waco Brothers. 8 p.m. $10. iotaclubandcafe.com. mr. henry’s 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Hollertown. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

WoRlD gw lisner audiTorium 730 21st St. NW. (202) 994-6800. Habib Koite & Vusi Mahlasela. 8 p.m. $35–$45. lisner.gwu.edu.

Hip-Hop fillmore silVer spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Tech N9ne, Krizz Kaliko, Rittz, Mayday!, Stevie Stone, Ces Cru. 8 p.m. $25. fillmoresilverspring.com.

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monTpelier arTs CenTer 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. Integriti Reeves.12 p.m. $12. arts.pgparks.com.

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Kennedy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Hugh Wolff, conductor; Anne Akiko Meyers, violin. 7 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org. mansion aT sTraThmore 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Greg Sandow: Reemergence. 7:30 p.m. $30. strathmore.org. musiC CenTer aT sTraThmore 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Mahler’s Symphony No. 5 with Marin Alsop, conductor. 8 p.m. $45–$105. strathmore.org. phillips ColleCTion 1600 21st St. NW. (202) 387-2151. International Contemporary Ensemble performs work by Anna Thorvaldsdottir. 6:30 p.m. $15–$30. phillipscollection.org.

gospEl barns aT wolf Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Blind Boys of Alabama. 8 p.m. $35–$45. wolftrap.org.

theater

110 in The shade A young woman aches for a life outside her small town and when she meets a handsome stranger who promises her opportunity and the ability to ease the region’s drought, her dreams appear within reach in this lively romantic musical by Harvey Schmidt, Tom Jones, and N. Richard Nash. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To May 14. $28–$69. (202) 347-4833. fords.org.

1984 George Orwell’s classic dystopian novel about an all-seeing government is turned into a dramatic stage play in this new multimedia production by Robert Icke and Duncan Macmillan, originally created by the British theater collective Headlong. Lansburgh Theatre. 450 7th St. NW. To April 10. $25–$123. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org. afTer The war An Israeli pianist returns to his home country to perform with the Israeli Philharmonic and attempts to reconnect with the family he became estranged from following the 2006 war in Lebanon in this drama by Motti Lerner, author of The Admission. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To April 17. $15–$60. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org. all The way Explore the power and personality of Lyndon Johnson in this drama from playwright Robert Schenkkan. Featuring appearances by Martin Luther King, J. Edgar Hoover, and other public figures from the era, this play serves as both history lesson and cautionary tale. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To May 8. $55–$110. (202) 4883300. arenastage.org. ameriCan idioT Keegan Theatre presents this musical about disaffected youth coming of age in the early 21st century set to the music of Green Day. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To April 9. $45–$55. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com. CaT on a hoT Tin roof Secrets and flawed relationships are revealed in Tennessee Williams’ classic drama about two generations fighting to figure out inheritance and their roles in the world. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West

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CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

THE SUBWAYS English rock band The Subways’ sound was born and bred in the early 2000s. Not edgy enough to be punk, not old enough to be classic rock, and too noisy to be indie, the group found success by creating a hodgepodge of all three at once. Starting off covering Nirvana and Green Day songs, The Subways went on to contribute to the decade’s dance-punk noise, not unlike early Arctic Monkeys. The group’s members even appeared in the third season of The O.C., lending them credibility with the teens who are now 20-somethings with disposable incomes to spend on concert tickets. Its most recent album was the first since lead singer Billy Lunn and bassist Charlotte Cooper ended their romantic relationship. Expect plenty of songs about overcoming alcoholism and apologizing to your ex for being a jerk, sung by Lunn as Cooper strums behind him. Somehow, it’s still not the weirdest breakup to happen in the world of rock ’n’ roll. The Subways perform with Pins at 8 p.m. at Rock & Roll Hotel, 1353 H St. NE. $18–$20. —Allison Kowalski (202) 388-7625. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

The New York Times

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

“AMERICA’S SHAKESPEARE” William Shakespeare has been a part of American culture since the nation’s founding members packed his work in their bags as they set sail for a new land. His words have gone on to be the basis of cultural institutions, favorite films, and thousands of interpretations of Romeo and Juliet in multiple mediums. The Folger Shakespeare Library celebrates the 400th anniversary of the Bard of Avon’s death with “America’s Shakespeare,” a new exhibition that honors the way this man has become tied to our national culture. Among the selected items that showcase his impact: a lithograph that pairs an image of the Lincoln assassination with an excerpt from the first act of Macbeth, a poster advertising a 1901 Italian-language production of Amleto (or Hamlet), and a costume sketch from Paul Robeson’s 1947 landmark production of Othello. Stills from Leonardo DiCaprio’s turn as Romeo and Channing Tatum’s comic reimagining of Twelfth Night in She’s the Man might not be included, but their Shakespearean interpretations are equally worthy of examination. The exhibit is on view Mondays through Saturdays 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sundays noon to 5 p.m., to July 24, at the Folger Shakespeare Library, 210 East Capitol St. SE. Free. (202) —Caroline Jones 544-4600. folger.edu. Highway, Bethesda. To April 24. $31–$61. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. ChroniCle of a deaTh foreTold A young woman returns to her family after her husband discover she is not a virgin, leading her brothers to take revenge in this exciting tale based on the novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To May 8. $20–$42. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org. dial ‘m’ for murder A former tennis star aims to get away with killing his wife in order to cash in on her wealth but he’s quickly investigated by a detective and his wife’s former lover, leading to a wild chase and surprising ending. Jason King Jones directs this play, which inspired Alfred Hitchcock’s film of the same name. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To May 1. $15–$65. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. eVery 28 hours Presented as part of the Kennedy Center’s American College Theater Festival, this play consists of one-minute plays inspired by police violence and the Black Lives Matter movement, featuring participants from around the nation. Kennedy Center Terrace Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To April 12. Free. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. falling ouT of Time Author David Grossman reflects on losing his son in the 2006 Israel-Lebanon conflict in this moving story about a man who, with his wife, embarks on a journey that will impact his life forever. The stage version is adapted and directed by Derek Goldman, artistic director of the Davis Performing Arts Center at Georgetown University. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To April 17. $15–$67. (202) 777-3210. theaterj.org. The fliCK Three minimum-wage workers do their best to keep a Massachusetts movie theater running and along the way, form tenuous connections with one another, in this Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Annie Baker. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To April 17. $40–$94. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org. The gospel aCCording To Thomas Jefferson, Charles diCKens, and CounT leo TolsToy: disCord Three famed thinkers who adapted The

Bible to suit their own lives debate the merits of their own interpretations in this clever comedy by Scott Carter. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To April 24. $40–$50. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org.

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hunTing and gaThering In this lively comedy from playwright Brooke Berman, a group of New Yorkers seek temporary shelter in different locations as they cohabitate and separate over the course of time. Rep Stage at Howard Community College. 10901 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. To April 24. $15–$40. (443) 518-1500. repstage.org. in a word Two years after her son’s disappearance, a mother continues to grieve and feel lost within her community. Though interactions with an incompetent detective,an absent husband, and a strange local kidnapper, Lauren Yee’s play shows how humans cope with tragedy and what we must do in order to move on. The Hub Theatre at John Swayze Theatre. 9431 Silver King Court, Fairfax. To April 24. $20–$30. (703) 674-3177. thehubtheatre.org. Jersey boys The Tony-winning musical tells the story of the rise and fall of The Four Seasons and includes many of the group’s hit songs, including “Walk Like a Man,” “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and “Sherry.” National Theatre. 1321 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. To April 24. $53–$123. (202) 628-6161. nationaltheatre.org. Kennedy CenTer ameriCan College TheaTer fesTiVal Finalists for the Gary Garrison Ten-Minute Play Award perform their work and selections from other winning student work is read at this showcase. Kennedy Center Terrace Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To April 13. Free. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. The lion Benjamin Scheuer tells his life story with the help of six guitars in this original one-man show that incorporates original rock songs and personal pain. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To April 10. $50–$75. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. marJorie prime A woman reinvents her past with some help from a hologram of her late husband in this experimental comedy by Jordan Harrison. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring

washingtoncitypaper.com april 8, 2016 159

Road, Olney. To April 10. $35–$65. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. momenT Tony-nominated director Ethan McSweeny makes his Studio debut with this family drama set in Ireland. When a young man returns home to visit his estranged movement, he starts a series of conflicts within his suburban town and within his family. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To April 24. $20–$91. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org. my Queer body Rainbow Theatre Collective pays tribute to legendary performer Tim Miller by presenting a one-night-only reading of his seminal work exploring gender and sexual identity. Bier Baron Tavern. 1523 22nd St. NW. To April 10. $15. (202) 293-1885. rainbowtheatreproject.org. The mysTery of loVe & sex On the eve of their college graduations, two longtime friends debate pursuing a romantic relationship and in the process, learn about themselves, as well as about love and sex, in this warm comedy from author Bathsheba Doran. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To May 8. $40–$85. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org. The neTher Local favorite Ed Gero makes his Woolly Mammoth debut in Jennifer Haley’s fantastical play about what happens when Earth turns into a gray wasteland. A special place where all desires are met serves as a safe space for some individuals but when a detective begins to look into the forces behind this wonderland, the artifice around it crumbles. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To May 1. $20–$78. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

proof In this Pulitzer Prize-winning play, a young woman who has spent much of her life caring for her unstable father must reckon with his actions after his death. When she encounters her estranged sister and a former student of her father’s, the three of them begin to figure out what’s left behind. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To May 1. $15–$30. (703) 854-1856. 1ststagetysons.org.

FilM

born To be blue Ethan Hawke portrays jazz trumpeter Chet Baker in this reimagining set in the 1960s as the musician tries to revive his career. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) eVerybody wanTs some!! Richard Linklater directs this comedy about 1980s college baseball players as they stumble into adulthood. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) i saw The lighT Tom Hiddleston portrays Hank Williams in this stirring biopic about the rise and sudden death of the country music icon. Written and directed by Marc Abraham. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) midnighT speCial A man flees a religious cult with his son, who is believed to have supernatural powers, and winds up being pursued by the FBI in this science fiction thriller from director Jeff Nichols. Starring Michael Shannon, Kirsten Dunst, and Joel Edgerton. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Film clips by Caroline Jones.

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

INTERNATIONAL CONTEMPORARY ENSEMBLE

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STARTS FRIDAY, APRIL 8 IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES

160 april 8, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

WASHINGTON CITY PAPER FRIDAY 04/08

She’s a critically lauded musician from Iceland who’s a bit of an enigma. A self-described introvert with extroverted ideas, she draws her inspiration from her country’s natural environment (glaciers, volcanoes, northern lights, and the like) to create quirky, atmospheric music that isn’t immediately accessible but ultimately impressive in scope and vision. In interviews, she expresses a childlike wonder with the world around her in a chirpy voice that comes off as an act, until you realize she’s dead serious. That’s right, it’s Anna Thorvaldsdottir, who, along with Alaska’s John Luther Adams and Finland’s Kaija Saariaho and Magnus Lindberg, is part of the current contemporary classical trend: hot composers from cold environments. On Thursday, her work gets a full program by the International Contemporary Ensemble, a crack chamber group that often collaborates with her, having recently recorded her well received album In the Light of Air. It can’t get much more atmospheric than that. It’s an inevitable hazard for musicians from Iceland to get compared to a certain other Icelandic musician (no, not Sigur Rós). But if Thorvaldsdottir cared, she’d try a little harder not to have so many things in common with you-know-who. The International Contemporary Ensemble performs at 6:30 p.m. at the Phillips Collection, 1600 —Mike Paarlberg 21st St. NW. $15–$30. (202) 387-2151. phillipscollection.org.

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Legals SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2015 ADM 1290 Name of Decedent: Estate of Ella Mae Wilson Name and Address of Attorney: Brian Gormley, Esq. 10605 Concord St., Ste 440 Kensington, MD 20895 Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs Ronnie E. Wilson, whose address is 11410 Mary Catherine Drive/ Clinton, MD 20735 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Ella Mae Wilson who died on August 21, 2015 without a Will and will serve without Court supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment (or to the probate of decedent’s Will) shall be filed With the Register of Wills, D.C., Building A, 515 5th Street, N.W., 3” Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 09/24/2016. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or filed with the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 09/24/2016, or be forever http://www.washingtbarred. Persons believed to be oncitypaper.com/ heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship. Date of first publication: 3/24/2016 Name of newspaper and/or periodical: Washington Law Reporter Washington City Paper Personal Representative: Ronnie E. Wilson TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: Mar. 24, 31, Apr. 7.

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The Washington Leadership Academy in accordance with section 2204(c) of the District of Columbia School Reform Act of 1995 solicits proposals for vendors to provide Internet Services (Category 1)

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Please visit www.washingtonleadershipacademy.org to request a full RFP offering more detail on scope of work and bidder requirements. Proposals shall be received no later than 9:00 A.M., Friday, April 22, 2016. Please email all bids to bids@wlapcs.org.

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds

Legals SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION -2016 ADM 259 Name of Decedent: Lawrence P. Sima Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs: Carrie Corcoran, whose address is 511 Old Orchard Road, Baltimore, MD 21229 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Lawrence Sima who died on February 16, 2016 with a Will and will serve without Court supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment (or to the probate of decedent’s Will) shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., - Building A, 515 5th Street, N.W., 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 9/30/16. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or filed with the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 9/30/16 or be forever barred. Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship. Date of first publication: March 31, 2016 /s/ Carrie Corcoran. TRUE TEST COPY /s/ ANNE MEISTER Register of Wills. Name of Newspapers: DWLR, WASHINGTON CITY PAPER. Pub Dates: Mar. 31, Apr. 7, 14, 2016. E.L. HAYNES PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Regular and Mobile Telephony E.L. Haynes Public Charter School is seeking proposals for mobile and regular telephony solutions forE-Rate Funding in 2016. To obtain an electronic copy of the full Request for Proposal (RFP), send an email to kyochum@ elhaynes.org specifying the RFP service request type(s) in the subject heading. For example: “RFP Mobile Telephony” or “RFP Regular Telephony” The deadline for submission is April 15, 2016 at 5pm. Please e-mail proposals and supporting documents to kyochum@ elhaynes.org.

Legals The Bridges Public Charter School solicits expressions of interest from Vendors or Consultants for the following services: • Special Education

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Academy of Hope Adult PCS solicits proposals with references from qualiﬁ ed vendors for the following services: 1. Elevator Repair 2. Moving 3. HVAC Repair 4. General Contracting 5. Furnishing 6. Facilities Management 7. Security Please visit http://aohdc.org/ jobs/ for full details. Questions and proposals may be e mailed to aoh@aohdc.org Deadline for submissions is 12:00pm April 15th.

APPLICATIONS PROGRAMMER/ANALYST III-ICMA RETIREMENT CORPORATION: Review, analyze, & modify applications using coding, testing, debugging & deploying to support the organization’s web applications. Works w/manager or business analysts to develop solutions. Provide production support for existing apps. Research new technologies & solutions to improve website. Develop test plans for new & existing apps. Requires: (i) Bachelor’s Dgr in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, or related IT degree and (ii) 5 years’ exp developing software apps using multitiered Java J2EE & JDK 1/5/1.6, Eclipse, JBOSS, WebSphere, WebLogic, Servlets, Oracle 11g, Maven, HTML, AJAX, & XML, including 3 years’ exp within the ﬁnancial services/mortgage industry. JOB LOCATION: D.C. Send cvr ltr, CV, salary rqmt & references to Eric Malloy at emalloy@ icmarc.org.

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• Nursing Services • Janitorial • Stafﬁng Services Proposals should be emailed to bids@bridgespcs.org no later than 2:00 p.m. EST on April 15. Achievement Prep Public Charter School intends to enter into a sole source contract with CT3 to provide professional development and consultation. Achievement Prep Public Charter School attests that the sole source for CT3 is intended for the enhancement of positive classroom culture coaching, which will lead to student achievement. For further information regarding this notice, contact Greg Gaines, bids@achievementprep.org no later than 4:00 pm Tuesday, April 5, 2016.

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This townhouse is located in DC, .7 mile (15 min walk) to the NoMAGallaudet Metro (red line) and a .8 mile (19 min walk) to the ShawHoward metro (green/ yellow).

Program Director, Rock at SiriusXM Radio: Responsible for the leadership, vision, direction of all aspects of day-to-day programming of multiple music channels in the Classic Rock genre and in charge of scheduling music logs, developing and mentoring air-talent, writing imaging, and oversight of social media for channels. Day-to-day music programming issues including song selection and categorization, library size, rotation rules and implementation of audience research. Apply at : https://careers-siriusxm.icims. com/jobs/11458/program-director%2c-rock/job Audio Editor, Sports Newsroom at SiriusXM Radio: Audio Editor to coordinate feeds, editing of sports sound and operation of equipment. Work will include evenings, weekends, and some holidays. Edit live interviews, identify and pull relevant soundbytes for news updates. Apply at : https://careers-siriusxm. icims.com/jobs/11513/audio-editor%2c-sports-newsroom/job

Computer/Technical Software Developer, Applications, DC, must poss. min. of BS in software science or rel. ﬂ d.,+ 1 yr. exp. req., email resume to will@innateagency.com, Attn. W. Packard, Innate, Inc.

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Bridges Public Charter School intends to enter into a sole source contract with The Center for Inspired Teaching for teaching fellows to be placed within the school. These teachers are serving as effective classrooms teachers speciﬁ cally equipped to promote educational achievement.

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GET PAID TO DRIVE YOUR CAR!!! Seeking individuals with their own car who would like to have a ROCKSTAR Energy Drink decal wrapped on their car and make money by simply driving your car around. Send Car model and year to amatovaas1@outlook.com Driver needed to drive me to appointments and errands. Must have own car. Call 301437-6613.

General AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certiﬁed Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualiﬁed students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563

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Program Coordinators. Washington, DC. Coord mktg & prgmg outreach to advance values of classical liberalism, human rights & democracy. Collect & report on data to identify outreach opportunities. Reqs BA/BS in Econ, Int’l Relations, or rltd & 2 yrs exp w/ coord’n of outreach activities for non-profi t think tanks. Must have strong commitment to classical liberal principles of liberty & limited govt. Res: K. Crane, Atlas Economic Research Foundation, 1201 L St NW, Washington, DC 20005 Update your skills for a better job! Continuing Education at Community College at UDC has more than a thousand certifi ed online & affordable classes in nearly every fi eld. Education on your own. http://cc.udc.edu/continuing_education Flyer Distributors Needed Monday-Friday and weekends. We drop you off to distribute the fl yers. NW, Bethesda, Silver Spring, Wheaton. $9/hr. 301437-6613.

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Miscellaneous

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old, InFreewith the http://www.washingtCode: oncitypaper.com/ new Post your Washington City is intended for teaching services listing Paper with http://www.washingtoncitywill lead to student achievement. paper.com/ Washington For further information regarding CityNEAR PaperYOU FIND REAL GAY MEN this notice contact bids@bridgClassifieds espcs.org no later than 4:00 pm Washington: Friday, April 15, 2016

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washingtoncitypaper.com April 8, 2016 161

F H

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Restaurant/Hospitality/ Hotel

P.J. Clarke’s, located steps from the White House, is seeking highly motivated and upbeat Servers, Hosts & Delivery Men & Women to become part of our restaurant team. We boast great history and a “one of a kind experience.” We are looking for friendly, professional individuals that are passionate about hospitality and have a great work ethic. Restaurant Experience required!

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Tapp’d Bethesda is opening soon & we need your talent! Hiring all FOH positions. Opening April 2016. Email tappdjobs@gmail.com

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INVITATION FOR BID

Afterschool Program Services

Food Service Management Services

DC Scholars Public Charter A D D S K A Y School

O H N O

O N E

E T S Scholars A U L Public TCharter DC SchoolI is soliciting M D Rproposals A Wfor I Afterschool Services beginning on April 8, 2016.T E K Proposals should include the A L P L O P S following:

S T O L A M E • Description of afterschool S E E S U M A program from 3:50pm-6:30pm Monday-Thursday 12:50pmS O R R and Y W R O 5:00pm on Friday for PS-7th E N O grades • IExplanation H A Vof how E Nthe Tpro-G gram enhances student academic R I S E R A L achievement • Explanation of how the program R E I D T A G incorporates physical ﬁ tness and S E S other E Aenrichment L Y courses/

The school seeks a one-year contract from July 1, 2016 through June 30, 2017 with an option to renew up to three (3) additional years after the initial contract expires. Proposals will be evaluated on price, ability to meet speciﬁ cations, customer service, references and alignment to Scholar Academies’ mission. Proposals will be reviewed starting on May 2, 2016, and the winner will be notiﬁ ed on Monday, May 9, 2016. RFP POINT OF CONTACT INFORMATION This RFP is being administered by the following DC Scholars point of contact. Bidders may obtain a full copy of the RFP guidelines and address any questions by contacting:

ADC K C O M B O Scholars NPublic O Charter O School C E A N ODCN Scholars M E T R E Public Charter the opportuNSchool G isAadvertising B L A N K nity to bid on the delivery of breakM A Oand/or CACFP fast, lunch, snack Psupper E meals A Tto children T H enrolled A T at the school for the 2016-2017 Eschool X year I Swith a possible B R O exof (4) one Ptension I N C year O renewals. N N All meals must meet at a miniImum, N but areHnotO M I to, E restricted the USDA N G National N U School M B Breakfast, E R Lunch, Afterschool Snack and At U A Risk Supper mealEpattern requirements. Additional Ooutlined T A C L speciﬁ U Ecations in the Invitation for Bid L(IFB) A such N as; student A Pdata, E days S of service, meal quality, etc. may Lbe I C beginning S T onLMarch O obtained A25, L2016Efrom Jenn T Barr O Weiss Y Sat (202) 494-2635 or Jbarrweiss@ scholaracademies.org:

All communication regarding this RFP shall be delivered via email only (no telephone calls). All proposals must be received by Friday, April 29, 2016 5PM EST.

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Find A Helping Hand Today

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Documents attached to the proposal email should clearly indicate the vendor’s name. Proposals not submitted to catlee@dcscholars.org will not be considered.

All bids not addressing all areas as outlined in the IFB will not be considered.

NEED A CAR, TRUCK of SUV? Over 1,000 vehicles in stock from 2011-2016! Gross monthly income must be 2k minimum - 2 current paystubs & 1 recent bill required. Call Jason @ 202.704.8213 -Hyattsville, MD

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Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other Financial Services info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, info@wacdtf.org. Are you in BIG trouble with the Twitter: @wacdtf IRS? Stop wage & bank levies, liens & audits, unﬁled tax returns, Counseling payroll issues, & resolve tax debt FAST. Call 844-753-1317 Pregnant? Thinking of Adoption? Talk with a caring agency Moving & Hauling specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families NationGreen Movers. Local and out of wide. Living Expenses Paid. Call state, residential and commercial. 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift AdopBulk Trash Removal. 240-882tions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illi2663. Movers for hire. Pick up and nois/New Mexico/Indiana. delivery service available. www.

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Cars/Trucks/SUVs

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Proposals will be accepted at 5601 E Capitol St. SE, Washington, DC 20019 through April 29, 2016, no later than 5:00 PM EST.

Christie Atlee Regional Manager of Community and Family Engagement catlee@dcscholars.org.

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REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS

activities • Description of stafﬁng model • Quote for one (1) full year of afterschool and summer program for 2016-2017 academic year • Description of professional development for the staff

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C A N Y O U R E

PEAT H/ T

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Adoption

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“Help me!” Tom Yum cuisine E Pluribus ___ Format for emphasis 5. Website in the #gamergate imbroglio 6. From the beginning

58 62

7. Abominable snowman 8. In a matter of seconds 9. Great ape of movies 10. Fighting chances? 11. Tiger’s cousin 12. Puzzle beyond a puzzle 13. Stable home? 14. Minuscule amount of memory 22. Some old Olds 23. Sailing 26. Just-aboveaverage grade 27. San Antonio site 28. Baseball analyst Garciaparra

29. Yelp user 30. 1998 Soul Coughing album whose name means “The Bear” 31. Celebrity chef Jacques 32. Fed___ (shipping) 33. Cold War threat 34. T-800 portrayer, to fans 35. It looks good on paper 40. Affix with a thread 41. What “brave” does in the national anthem 43. Combined effort 44. Grp. in the movie Trumbo 46. Give away the game 47. Subtle suggestion 50. Eye part 51. Surprise party directive just before it starts 52. Nick and Nora’s dog 53. Besmirches 54. TV show with the theme song “Time for Some Girl Talk” 55. Stewpot 56. Kangaroo stabilizer 57. Reaching 58. Hard to pin down 62. Big name in scrubbing pads

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