Washington City Paper (April 26, 2019)

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NEWS: MAYBE THIS GHOST BIKE WILL MATTER 4 FOOD: DATING ADVICE FROM YOUR BARTENDER 16 ARTS: REVIEWS FROM 33RD ANNUAL FILMFEST DC 18

Mission: Impossible?

Can the new International Spy Museum restore the concrete wasteland of L’Enfant Plaza? P. 10

By Kriston Capps

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

2 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

INSIDE

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COVER STORY: MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE?

10 The revived International Spy Museum has moved to L’Enfant Plaza and hopes tourists will follow it.

DISTRICT LINE 4 Loose Lips: The death of a cycling advocate on Florida Ave. NE finally prompts local leaders to say they’ll take action.

6 Housing Complex: Rent hikes may force longtime residents out of a Columbia Heights apartment building.

SPORTS 8 9

Roll Models: DC Rollergirls bring diversity to the wild world of roller derby.

Strike Zone: We tested the Nats’ new backpack ban so you don’t have to.

FOOD 16 All Is Fair in Love and Bar: Local bartenders dish on dating and love.

ARTS 18 Quick Cuts: Our team of reviewers highlights offerings from the 33rd edition of Filmfest DC. 20 Curtain Calls: Zilberman on Junk at Arena Stage 21 Short Subjects: Zilberman on Avengers: Endgame

CITY LIST 23 Music 27 Theater 28 Film

DIVERSIONS 29 Savage Love 30 Classifieds 31 Crossword

DARROW MONTGOMERY 400 BLOCK OF MORSE STREET NE, APRIL 16

EDITORIAL

EDITOR: ALEXA MILLS MANAGING EDITOR: CAROLINE JONES ARTS EDITOR: MATT COHEN FOOD EDITOR: LAURA HAYES SPORTS EDITOR: KELYN SOONG CITY LIGHTS EDITOR: KAYLA RANDALL LOOSE LIPS REPORTER: MITCH RYALS HOUSING COMPLEX REPORTER: MORGAN BASKIN STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: DARROW MONTGOMERY MULTIMEDIA AND COPY EDITOR: WILL WARREN CREATIVE DIRECTOR: STEPHANIE RUDIG CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: MICHON BOSTON, KRISTON CAPPS, CHAD CLARK, RACHEL M. COHEN, RILEY CROGHAN, JEFFRY CUDLIN, EDDIE DEAN, ERIN DEVINE, CUNEYT DIL, TIM EBNER, CASEY EMBERT, JONATHAN L. FISCHER, NOAH GITTELL, SRIRAM GOPAL, HAMIL R. HARRIS, LAURA IRENE, LOUIS JACOBSON, CHRIS KELLY, STEVE KIVIAT, CHRIS KLIMEK, PRIYA KONINGS, JULYSSA LOPEZ, NEVIN MARTELL, KEITH MATHIAS, PABLO MAURER, BRIAN MCENTEE, BRIAN MURPHY, NENET, TRICIA OLSZEWSKI, EVE OTTENBERG, MIKE PAARLBERG, PAT PADUA, JUSTIN PETERS, REBECCA J. RITZEL, ABID SHAH, TOM SHERWOOD, MATT TERL, SIDNEY THOMAS, DAN TROMBLY, JOE WARMINSKY, ALONA WARTOFSKY, JUSTIN WEBER, MICHAEL J. WEST, DIANA MICHELE YAP, ALAN ZILBERMAN

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DISTRICTLINE Collision Course

scooter when the driver of an SUV struck and killed him in Dupont Circle “literally right over there in a crosswalk,” Sampson says as he approaches the Metro station.

Three days later, Tom Hollowell, 64, was cycling to work at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History when a motorist who ran a red light struck him. The driver, Phillip Peoples, fled the scene, but was later arrested and pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter.

Painting these memorials is a therapeutic but exhausting exercise, Sampson says. But the one for Salovesh was especially draining. Sampson considered him a mentor and a friend.

D.C. has a track record of failing to make streets safer after motorists kill cyclists and pedestrians. Will Dave Salovesh’s death be any different?

Darrow Montgomery

Matthew Sampson (left) with Rudi Riet

By Mitch Ryals SplatterS of white paint line the shaded alley next to Matthew Sampson’s apartment. With time, the paint will fade, but more will inevitably be added.

For the past several months, Sampson has volunteered to paint “ghost bikes” in memory of cyclists who’ve been killed on D.C. streets. Since June, he’s coated four bikes and one scooter in a white paint that holds up under bad weather. He finished the most recent ghost bike on Saturday, April 20.

That bike—an old GT he doesn’t ride any-

LOOSE LIPS

more—memorializes Dave Salovesh, an unapologetic bicycle advocate who was killed last Friday, April 19, while riding near 12th Street NE and Florida Avenue NE. “This is sad, but I assumed there would be another bike death this year, at least one,” says Sampson of why he held onto his old ride. “So I thought, ‘I’ll save it for that.’”

On Sunday morning, two days after Salovesh’s death, Sampson unlocks the white bike from a fence near the alley where he painted it.

He begins the journey to the site of the crash, where he’ll chain it to a pole.

Along the way, Sampson talks about Salovesh’s outsized influence in D.C.’s bicycle community, about the glacial pace with which

4 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

the District is moving to improve road infrastructure for alternative modes of transportation, and about the other vehicles he’s painted.

The first was for Jeffrey Long, who was struck and killed in July 2018 by a driver at M Street NW and New Hampshire Avenue NW, a heavily trafficked commuter route. Long, 36, was riding in a bike lane when he was hit.

Just two weeks before Long’s death, Malik Habib, 19, was killed while riding his bike on H Street NE. He was in the streetcar lane when his tire got stuck in the rail. He fell into the path of a charter bus and died at the hospital, according to police.

Sampson’s next project honored Carlos Sanchez-Martin, who was riding an electric

SaloveSh waS Stopped on his bike at 12th Street NE and Florida Avenue NE when Robert Earl Little Jr. barreled toward the intersection in a stolen van, police allege in court records.

It was just after 10 a.m. on April 19 when police spotted Little driving a stolen white Dodge Caravan. Little fled after officers attempted to stop him, and court records indicate police backed off the pursuit. It is generally against MPD policy to pursue vehicles.

Little ran a red light and plowed into a blue Hyundai. Police data clocked him going 60 miles per hour. The collision pushed the van Little drove into Salovesh. The van hit a tree and a trash can on the sidewalk, court records show, carrying Salovesh with it. It finally crashed head on into a second tree, pinning Salovesh against it. He was declared dead on the scene at 10:08 a.m.

Little went to the hospital with a swollen eye, a cut lip, and trauma to his body, according to records. The 25-year-old is now charged with second degree murder in Salovesh’s death. He is also facing several other charges from previous cases, including simple assault, theft, and drug possession. Little was scheduled to appear in court for two of those cases that morning.

Within an hour of the fatal encounter, a judge issued two warrants for Little’s arrest.

SampSon StopS outSide the Dupont Circle Metro station to wait for some friends. Passersby stare at the stark white bike.

Soon, fellow Ward 2 neighborhood commissioners Daniel Warwick and Patrick Kennedy (a candidate for the Ward 2 Council seat), and former commissioner Eve Zhurbinskiy show up. They didn’t know Salovesh personally the way Sampson did. But like many in D.C., they knew him through Twitter.

On the train, Sampson unzips his backpack, revealing a few other items he brought to honor Salovesh’s memory. He’s carrying red plastic cups, a banner that says “Mayor Bowser: We Demand Safe Roads,” and a print out of a classic Salovesh tweet. In a thread about bike lane

DISTRICTLINE construction Salovesh wrote: “Where the fuck are our safe accommodations?”

The red cups are similar to those that Salovesh filled with water and placed along the previously unprotected bike lane on Pennsylvania Avenue NW. Cars making U-turns across the bike lane would run over the cups, spilling the water, marking a potential encounter between a vehicle and a cyclist.

When that didn’t draw enough attention, he and other bike advocates stood with pool noodles along the cycle track, and eventually the city installed barriers.

At the NoMa-Gallaudet U station, the group treks up Florida Avenue NE toward the spot where Salovesh died, and hundreds, dressed in white T-shirts, have already gathered.

Sampson, who is hard of hearing, points out the narrow sidewalks that put pedestrians, including deaf and hard of hearing students at nearby Gallaudet University, close to the sixlane road as cars zip past. At various points, utility poles installed in the middle of the walkway make it impossible for wheelchairs to pass.

For at least a decade, the District has studied Florida Avenue NE with an eye for safety improvements. But in that time, Sampson says, there has been little action.

In 2004, a driver running from the police hit and killed two children, ages 7 and 8, in the same intersection where Salovesh died.

In 2013, another motorist hit and killed 71-year-old Ruby Whitfield at 11th Street NE and Florida Avenue NE, a block away. Whitfield had just left a meeting at the nearby church and was walking in the crosswalk.

That same year, the District Department of Transportation (DDOT) launched a study of ways to make Florida Avenue NE safer. The research was completed in 2015, the year Mayor Muriel Bowser announced her official effort to eliminate traffic-related deaths by 2024, known as Vision Zero. Boswer’s campaign is part of the U.S. Department of Transportation’s “Mayor’s Challenge For Safer People, Safer Streets.”

Advocates have taken to calling Bowser’s plan “Zero Vision.”

It’s hard to argue with the numbers: Since 2015, traffic fatalities have only increased, from 28 in 2016 to 30 in 2017 to 36 in 2018, the most in a decade, according to police statistics. So far in 2019, six people have been killed in collisions with vehicles, including a pedestrian who was struck and killed just hours after people gathered around Salovesh’s ghost bike.

A vehicle struck Abdul Seck, 31, while he was walking on a sidewalk near 16th and V streets SE. Dejuan Andre Marshall, 20, was allegedly speeding on V Street SE and crashed into another vehicle, forcing it into Seck, who was from the Bronx. He was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead, according to court records. Marshall is charged with

second degree murder.

DDOT released a plan in 2017 that included a two-way protected bike lane on Florida Avenue NE. Two years later, construction hasn’t started.

DDOT Director Jeff Marootian cannot specifically explain the two-year lag, but says that “we share the same sense of urgency, and that’s not always seen by the public because the process takes a long time. So we’re working to expedite those processes, and some are in the District’s control and some aren’t.”

Bowser’s proposed fiscal year 2020 budget includes full funding for construction on Florida Avenue NE, which includes protected bike lanes and wider sidewalks. If the funds are approved, construction wouldn’t start until late 2020, Marootian says.

The crowd separaTes as Sampson and the group approach 12th Street NE. Among them are Salovesh’s family, his close friend Rudi Riet, Ward 6 Councilmember Charles Allen, Marootian, and Metropolitan Police Department Sgt. Kathleen Monahan, who was knocked off her bike by a car while on duty riding down Florida Avenue NE in January. Monahan also used to commute by bike on Florida Ave NE. She says it needs a major overhaul, from narrowing to protected bike lanes “at a minimum.”

“I used to say to myself, ‘This is probably the most dangerous part of my day, and I’m a police officer,’” Monahan says.

Councilmember Allen expresses frustration with the delays in redesigning Florida Avenue NE. By his calculations, DDOT has been studying and planning a redesign since 2009.

“At the end of the day, DDOT makes the decisions, but they do so with the support from the boss, the mayor,” Allen says, adding “I’ll put it on everybody. I don’t think the mayor’s done enough. I don’t think the Council has done enough. I think we can all share some blame.”

On April 23, Allen introduced legislation that restricts DDOT’s ability to reprogram funds until the agency makes progress on the Florida Avenue NE redesign. Councilmembers Kenyan McDuffie, David Grosso, and Mary Cheh co-introduced the legislation.

Cheh also introduced a bill that requires construction of protected bike lanes when DDOT engages “in road construction, major repair, or curb or gutter replacement,” on roads where the city has already recommended them.

For Riet and other bicycle advocates, Salovesh’s death while riding a bike is a cruel irony. He describes his friend as a “kind soul, who wore his passions” and “lived on heightened emotions.”

“So when it was something like safe streets, he wanted a full-on press,” Reit says. “He did not want incrementalism. He wanted it done right from the start.”

CP

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DISTRICTLINE

Raze the Rent

Tenants of a Columbia Heights building weathered decades of neighborhood change. Now they fear they’ll be another casualty of soaring rents.

In yet another Columbia Heights apartment complex that has long been home to immigrants and seniors, tenants wonder how long they have left in their homes.

Sixty-two-year-old Ana Maria Ramos moved into 1466 Columbia Road NW half a lifetime ago. She remembers how, 30 years ago, the building’s manager threatened to evict her for being pregnant. She remembers seeing a man violently attacked in the apartment courtyard, his hand sliced clean off by an assailant. She remembers paying less than $300 per month for an efficiency.

Ramos is the first to admit that life in the building has been far from perfect, but she depends on the stability it has provided her.

It’s home.

She fears it may not be for long. Last May, the owners of 1466 Columbia Road NW filed a hardship petition with the District—a document testifying that the revenue generated from the building, which is rent-controlled, has not kept pace with rising costs to maintain it. The apartment building’s owners are asking the city to increase tenants’ monthly rent beyond the standard allowable amount for rentcontrolled units, which is the consumer price index plus 2 percent. They want to raise rents by as much as 60 percent over four years.

They can do that because, in D.C., landlords of rent-controlled buildings are effectively entitled to a 12 percent rate of return on their properties. The owners of 1466 Columbia Road NW report a net income just shy of $30,000 annually for the building, which they report costs about $356,000 each year to maintain.

The hardship petition law “is outdated and wholly unfair to tenants,” says Beth Harrison, the director of the Legal Aid Society’s Eviction Defense Project, in an email. Legal Aid is representing the tenants of 1466 Columbia Road NW. “Too often, they lead to high rent increases that price out tenants in situations where the landlord is making a profit and hardly facing a ‘hardship,’” Harrison says. She says Legal Aid found that, in a review of 95 hardship petitions filed between the

HOUSING COMPLEX

fiscal years 2007 and 2015, 57 percent of the petitions granted came from properties with positive net income.

Ramos’ 34-unit building sits just one block south of the sprawling DC USA complex on 14th and Irving streets NW, an area that is perhaps the heart of new development in Columbia Heights. In 2016, City Paper reported on the challenges that many of the District’s Latinx residents face in Ward 1 neighborhoods, where developers have snatched up older buildings that have fallen into disrepair with the goal of breaking rent control covenants and boosting profitability. The practice is common around D.C., but is particularly acute in the constellation of neighborhoods in and around Columbia Heights, which the Urban Institute says has experienced some of “the hottest housing boom[s]” of the aughts.

Ramos and her neighbors have watched their neighborhood change around them .

They just didn’t expect to become a casualty of it.

Over the last year, the building’s tenants, represented by the Central American Resource Center (CARECEN) as well as Legal Aid, have engaged in mediation efforts with the building’s owners in attempt to negotiate as low an increase as possible. Tenants who spoke with City Paper say they’re caught between vacating their homes of two or three decades and facing rent increases close to double what they’re paying now, at a time when many are past the point of their peak earning potential.

The owners’ hardship petition includes a

6 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

proposed schedule for tenants’ new rents.

A roughly 60 percent increase would mean leaping, for example, from a $1096 monthly payment for a one-bedroom unit to $1,765.

The average monthly rent for a one-bedroom apartment across D.C., according to a March report by real estate website Zumper, is $2,150; across the D.C. metropolitan region, it’s about $1,500.

“For others, it’s a lot harder,” says Johanna Valenzuela, a tenant counselor at CARECEN. Some people “are not in a financial situation” where they can sign on to a price hike of that magnitude. “If it came to that, some might say, ‘Well, I’m going to have to leave,’” Valenzuela says of her clients.

Their frustrations are compounded by concerns about how the building has been maintained. Maira Sanchez, a 51-year-old who has lived in the building for 26 years, says that she’ll be in the shower with shampoo in her

Darrow Montgomery

By Morgan Baskin

hair when the water cuts out without warning.

Fifty-seven-year-old Addisu Wondem, a 19year resident of the building who immigrated from Ethiopia, says that he must sometimes fill up the water tank of his toilet by hand in order

to flush it properly.

Wondem, Sanchez, and Ramos simultaneously burst into laughter at the suggestion that they would ever take their trash out at night, when they say droves of rats cluster in the dumpsters on the property. All three have tackled pest infestations. All three say they have gone nights in the winter without heat. The Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs issued or approved 13 notices of housing code violations on April 22 alone, which include mandates to install smoke detectors in tenants’ apartments, fix water leaks that have deteriorated walls inside the building, and repair holes in tenants’ ceilings.

The property’s hardship petition, received by the Department of Housing and Community Development in May of 2018, lists the owner of 1466 Columbia Road NW as a limited liability corporation called New Ravenswood LLC, with an address courtesy of The Barac Co., a property management company that maintains thousands of units across the District.

The listed authorized representative for New Ravenswood LLC, Anthony Bruno, is also working on behalf of Barac, according to the document.

Business registration filings with the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs show that the registered agent of New Ravenswood LLC is Barac, and public property records show that the registered owner of 1466 Columbia Road NW is Barac.

When City Paper reached out to Bruno for comment, he wrote in an email that “naturally—it’s not that cut and dry. Barac is not the owner that filed the [hardship petition]— Barac is the Management Agent.” Bruno then directed City Paper to local real estate attorney Richard Luchs, who “is representing the owners,” Bruno wrote. (Of Barac’s fingerprints on the building’s public property records, he says, “The Barac Co is the Registered Agent for many entities. This one included.”) Luchs, who is perhaps most well known for successfully exploiting loopholes in the Tenant Opportunity to Purchase Act on behalf of property owners, did not respond to City Paper’s request for comment.

While some tenants, like Sanchez, say they would consider taking a buyout if it proved enough to serve as a down payment for a house—some of CARECEN’s clients in the Park View and Mount Pleasant neighborhoods have taken buyouts ranging between $20,000 and $30,000—Ramos sees her options as limited. She points out, for example, that she doesn’t know if she’ll live long enough to pay off a 30-year home loan.

“Yo no. Yo no, porque yo estoy vieja,” Ramos says. Not for me, because I am old. So Ramos will stay at 1466 Columbia Road NW, fighting for as little of a rent increase as possible, because she doesn’t know what else to do.

CP

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Roll Models

Darrow Montgomery

Anyone can get into roller derby. Just ask the skaters for the DC Rollergirls.

By Kelyn Soong Brandi Mccall does not like football. But when alumni from her college contacted her last summer and asked if she wanted to join a coed D.C. flag football league, she decided to give it a shot. The Prince George’s County native believed the league would offer a family-like environment, and she figured it could be a good way to meet new people in the area.

That didn’t happen.

“It felt like the group was already mapped out,” McCall says. “It’s like when you transfer to a school in the middle of a school year—that feeling. Everyone already has a friend group, and you can’t join into the friend group.”

She quickly left the league, and less than a year later, McCall went online and searched for local roller derby groups, which eventually led her to the DC Rollergirls’ website. McCall has always enjoyed skating—she celebrated her 25th birthday at the Temple Hills Skate Palace—so she decided to attend the team’s open house a few weeks after her March 16th birthday.

With the DC Rollergirls, McCall has found

what her flag football experience lacked—a welcoming atmosphere. The club, a nonprofit, volunteer-run women’s flat track roller derby league in D.C., prides itself on providing a diverse and inclusive environment for individuals of all athletic backgrounds.

Initially, she worried about the potential lack of racial diversity, but as practices went on, McCall, who is black, met more women of color. A college classmate skates with the advanced group.

McCall now practices with the league’s rookie team twice a week.

“It’s the most pain I’ve been in all my life,” she says, laughing. McCall credits the women for being “really inviting and encouraging.”

It’s part of the Rollergirls’ charm. They make the physical agony worth it. inside a diM, cavernous warehouse in Hyattsville, the squeaking sound of rubber wheels on concrete echoes off the walls. The sun is setting, and the faint overhead lights are all that illuminate the large makeshift roller derby track. It’s a little before 8 p.m. on a recent Monday, and the DC Rollergirls are pre-

8 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Xavier Dussaq/D.C. United

SPORTS

16-year-old Griffin Yow is on the fast track with D.C. United. washingtoncitypaper.com/sports

paring for their second bout of the season, against the Charlottesville Derby Dames, to be held at the DC Armory on Saturday, April 27. Skaters from both the DC Rollergirls “A” and “B” travel teams will compete in a mixedroster, single game.

“Sprint! Sprint!” shouts Wynde “Scar Trek” Priddy. “Hustle! Hustle! Hustle!”

Priddy is DC Rollergirls’ training chair and one of the league’s most experienced players.

She is leading an advanced scenarios practice tonight, and for the next two hours, will be the patient but firm voice guiding the 14 skaters in attendance.

The 36-year-old who hails from Texas started participating in roller derby in Denver 10 years ago, and moved to D.C. in 2015. She did plenty of physical activities—tennis, diving, gymnastics, and dance—growing up, but never played a team sport until roller derby.

To Priddy, it looked like a physical and mental challenge, and the athleticism of the women felt empowering.

“There’s a cachet about it,” she says. “It’s fun. It’s fast. You feel the wind in your hair, like the feeling of riding a bike down the street.”

Now in their 13th year, DC Rollergirls follow the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) rules. Each 14-skater team fields four blockers and a point-scorer called a jammer, whose job is to get through the opposing blockers in jams that can last up to two minutes. Jammers earn one point for each opposing player they legally pass around the oval track. The bout consists of two 30-minute periods.

It’s not quite as violent as pop culture depictions, like the 2009 Ellen Page film Whip It or the televised bouts known as RollerJam that aired in the early aughts, but the contests are still physical, intense—and full of controlled chaos.

The sport’s appeal among many different kinds of women is evident. Even in this small group consisting of a mix of players from the group’s “A” travel team (All-Stars), “B” travel team (National Maulers), and players who are leveling up in order to scrimmage, there is a blend of sizes, athletic backgrounds, and ages.

The oldest player on the Maulers is in her 50s.

“I think it’s been inclusive with different body types,” says Alexandra “Mississippi Blues” Williams, who joined DC Rollergirls last April and plays for its “C” travel team, the Capitol Offenders. “I’m a bigger person, so I’m always concerned about going into a new, physical environment where you’re doing something with your body and that judgement of you not being able to do something. A lot of times we have trainers and coaches who

are of different sizes who will show you someone who is bigger, someone who is smaller [that] this is what it looks like with your body.”

The 33-year-old is one of several players on the teams who entered roller derby with minimal athletic background beyond school gym classes. Some, like Priddy, grew up around sports, but skaters like Diedre “Fractious Phoebe” Schofield, 34, avoided organized physical activity.

“I was always the smallest person, so no one wanted me for anything,” says Schofield, who moved from South Korea to Woodbridge, Virginia, with her husband and young son last May. “I was always the last kid to get picked, so I eventually gave up. I was like, well, they don’t want me to play sports, so I’ll do other stuff.”

Roller derby, she adds, has given her the confidence to try other things. Schofield started running, and periodically doing yoga. She goes to the gym about four days a week and currently weighs 20 pounds more than she did when she started roller derby in 2011, adding muscle to keep pace with the physical demands of the sport.

“It’s been very important to me that when I do move, I move somewhere where there is roller derby,” Schofield says.

Katie Prosen sat quietly against the concrete wall during the early April open house and listened as Melissa “Slamazon Prime” Benn and Colleen “Slay Belle” Dougherty gave an overview about roller derby to the few dozen people gathered at the Hyattsville warehouse.

Like Schofield, Prosen moved to the area with roller derby in mind. She chose her Ivy City apartment based on its proximity to the Rollergirls’ practice facility. There are leagues in Maryland and Virginia, including Free State Roller Derby in Montgomery County and NOVA Roller Derby in Leesburg, but the DC Rollergirls are the only team representing the District.

Prosen, 32, watched the sport in Boston, and only started competing after her 30th birthday, while living in San Francisco.

She recently came down with a bout of bronchitis, preventing her from practicing with her new team, but she agrees with McCall that the league is “extremely welcoming” compared to other sports. “Maybe because so many people are so intimidated by it,” Prosen offers.

But her reason for joining roller derby is simpler than that. “[It’s] because of the badassery,” Prosen says. “It’s just so awesome. I want bad-assness in my life.”

CP

SPORTS Strike Zone

When the Washington Nationals announced in February that all backpacks would be banned from Nationals Park, fans were upset—and confused. The team carved out exceptions for backpack-style diaper bags and backpacks used for ADA or medical needs, and OK’d drawstring bags and totes that were less than 16 inches long. What, then, was the problem with backpacks? Drawstring bags, like backpacks, have two straps, and small backpacks are exceedingly trendy—would those bags get into the stadium? What about a single-strap bag worn on one’s back? We sent a team to the April 17 game with a variety of bags to put the policy to the test.

Bag 1: Green canvas backpack with drawstring cinch and snap closure Measurements: 14 inches tall, 11 inches wide, 4.5 inches deep Did it get in? Yes! Security staff searched the bag’s inner pocket and some bags packed inside the bag but quickly ushered me into the park.

—Caroline Jones

Bag 2: Small gray backpack with zip closure Measurements: 15 inches tall, 11 inches wide, 5 inches deep Did it get in? No! When I asked why I’d seen other women with backpacks enter the game, I was informed it’s because they contained diapers. Which raises the question, do I also need a baby or would packing some Pampers suffice?

I was banished to the lockers where I had to exchange too much personal information to store my small, diaperfree bag for more than $5.

—Laura Hayes Bag 3: Black backpack with drawstring cinch and buckle closure Measurements: 16 inches tall, 10.5 inches wide, 4 inches deep Did it get in? No! The authorities took one look at those double straps and immediately turned me around. Never mind that the bag was basically empty and had a drawstring. The exasperated security guard just pointed around the corner and directed me to the lockers.

—Mitch Ryals

All photographs by Darrow Montgomery

After 11 home games, the Nats’ new backpack ban remains totally baffling.

Bag 4: Standard blue backpack with zip closure Measurements: 17 inches tall, 12 inches wide, 5.5 inches deep Did it get in? No! Security at the center field entrance immediately turned me away. The backpack didn’t appear larger than some of the bags that were allowed in just ahead of me, but the two straps meant the odds were not in my favor. I took a walk of shame to the lockers near the right field gate entrance.

—Kelyn Soong

Bag 5: One-strap backpack with zip closure Measurements: 15.5 inches tall, 9.5 inches wide, 5.5 inches deep Did it get in? Yes! The single strap didn’t phase bag checkers, though they did ask if it was a camera bag. (It technically was, though it contained no cameras on game day.)

—Darrow Montgomery

Bag 6: Blue leather satchel with shoulder strap Measurements: 9 inches tall, 13 inches wide, 3 inches deep Did it get in? Yes, without a hitch. I got it in a Harlem boutique in 2008, and the label inside says “Lie down i think i love you.” It’s the only non-canvas tote bag I’ve ever purchased. If it didn’t make it through security, I would have chosen the bag over the game.

—Alexa Mills

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 9

Mission: Impossible?

In the concrete wasteland of L’Enfant Plaza, a new and imposing International Spy Museum hopes to draw crowds and establish a new cultural hub in the District.

By Kriston Capps Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

There’s no place to hide on the seventh floor of the

new International Spy Museum. Measuring 34 feet by 178 feet, this space offers unparalleled views into every corner of the District. Floor-to-ceiling windows arranged in a 180-degree span around the building provide a platform for observing the Washington Monument and the Capitol, the National Cathedral and the Basilica, the Maine Avenue Fish Market and the hills of Anacostia. One month out from the museum’s debut in May, the room is otherwise featureless.

“We let the skyline do the decorating,” says Erika Owings, an architect and associate at JBG Smith, the developer for the Spy Museum’s new building at L’Enfant Plaza. Owings previously worked as the building’s project manager for Hickok Cole, the D.C. firm that designed the Spy Museum along with Londonbased Rogers Stirk Harbour + Partners.

Such a sweeping view isn’t possible from most D.C. perches. Plenty of sightlines stop short at L’Enfant Plaza, whose drab towers loom over I-395, a hard border between Southwest and the rest of the District. But the Spy Museum’s elevated home in the center of this Brutalist complex lifts it up over the city.

That’s one advantage of the museum’s move to L’Enfant Plaza.

The Spy Museum looks as if it were made to be seen from a car screaming down I-395. This view makes its immensity clear in context: It is shaped like an inverted trapezoid brick. It’s the desert sandcrawler from Star Wars. The building has the hype bearing of an arena; it would stand out even if it weren’t located where it is, square in the middle of the city’s most unyielding towers and joyless plaza. At night, the ribbons running up the Spy Museum’s side glow red—these could be any color, pink during October for breast cancer awareness, for example—making for a visual

pop amid the dull drone of concrete.

The new building has gravitas, another plus.

It bears the fingerprints of Richard Rogers, the Pritzker Prize-winning architect who designed the Pompidou Centre in Paris as well as the Millennium Dome and the Lloyd’s of London building. His principal achievement, first expressed to the astonishment of Paris with the Pompidou in 1977, was to turn buildings inside out, so that their infrastructural and mechanical features serve as the façade. Among the medieval walkways of Le Marais, the exterior escalators and brightly colored tubing of the Pompidou’s exoskeleton are an arresting visual. But the comparisons end there: L’Enfant Plaza is not Le Marais.

When the Spy Museum opens to the public on May 12, the private nonprofit will find out whether it can make good on an all-or-nothing bet. After leaving its home at 800 F Street NW, where it has served as an anchor for Penn Quarter since 2002, and after it failed to relocate to the former Carnegie Library in Mount Vernon Square, the Spy Museum is reopening its doors in one of the least navigable parts of the city. It’s a risky proposition: Can this popular museum bring the crowds from downtown with it? Can it draw tourists by the school busload when there’s no Shake Shack next door?

“Mount Vernon Square was a logistical nightmare for [dropping off] a busful of 8th grade students,” said Michael Kruelle, vice president for operations at the Spy Museum, during a tour of the building. The Spy Museum will be better off in L’Enfant Plaza, he argues.

Stakes are even higher for the city. The District is built out; there aren’t cheap former warehouse districts waiting to be repurposed as cultural magnets, like in East Berlin, or disinvested neighborhoods that galleries will illadvisedly try to colonize, like in Los Angeles.

10 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

When art institutions close in one part of D.C., they often leave D.C. entirely. With the arrival of Gucci and Tesla downtown, the city has seen an exodus of arts orgs in recent years (although there are still some points of light).

For Southwest D.C., the Spy Museum represents the last best bet to bridge the concrete expanse that divides the National Mall from the new and economically supercharged Wharf.

If the Spy Museum succeeds, it will give the city a boost in its improbable efforts to reorient this isolated federal promontory as a cultural district, something the city arguably needs.

If the Spy Museum doesn’t survive the move to L’Enfant Plaza, though, the reason will be clear: It’s now hiding in plain sight.

The Spy Museum’s new building is a metaphor for espionage. The 140,000-square-foot museum is configured as a black box tucked behind a veil. That element, the so-called veil, which runs along the building’s western face, is the museum’s master stroke: an exterior curtain of folded metal panels and pleated glass that encloses an exterior stairwell, a Rogers signature. As Winston Churchill once said about Russia, “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.”

The building is a feat of mechanical engineering. Transfer girders on the east side of the building—thick steel rebar in 6-foot-deep concrete—work against uplift under certain conditions, which is the opposite direction the load path usually takes. Translated from engineer speak: The building wants to lean toward its heavier western side, but the architects won’t let it. The entire veil structure, including the lime green exterior staircase, which runs along the western face, is suspended from the top of the building. A series of Y-shaped lateral joints that connect the glass paneling and stairs to the

building’s superstructure brace the veil against seismic and wind loads.

“One of the biggest challenges in this space is that everything you’re standing on is hanging from the top of the structure,” says Erin McNamara, an associate at Hickok Cole, referring to the neon staircase inside the veil.

Another building element, a long rectangular glass prism on top of the museum, facilitates the seventh floor’s soaring views. This feature cantilevers out from the building, jutting out 12.5 feet into space on the museum’s north side. This projection required some civic finagling, since D.C. code doesn’t allow such deep protrusions. The planners found an obscure line in D.C.’s zoning code to facilitate the extension, a subsection about “foregone construction.”

“Zoning allows you to have 2 or 3 feet into public space,” says Suzanne Sabatier, senior vice president for JBG Smith. “[Spy Museum founder Milton] Maltz said, ‘Suzy, I hear Shakespeare Theatre has 8 feet. I want at least 15.’” She added, “I got him 12.”

The Spy Museum is stacked: a skinny prism

on top of a black box on top of a glass cube (with three levels of parking underneath). The glassy base at ground level comprises the museum lobby and (expansive) gift shop. Some splashier artifacts from the original Spy Museum are now housed in the atrium. There’s the Aston Martin DB5 that James Bond drove in Goldfinger (or the car used for the movie’s press tour, anyway). There’s a replica of David Bushnell’s Revolutionary War–era Turtle, the first submersible vessel, designed to attach explosives to the underside of British ships (which never worked). Hanging over the entrance area is an Amber drone, the forerunner for the Predator, and a prelude for the drumbeat of military propaganda to follow. The loveliest touch in the lobby might be the terrazzo gradient floor, which looks like peppermint bark.

(Note to readers: Spy Museum founder Milton Maltz and new executive director Chris Costa declined multiple requests for interviews. The museum initially agreed to a press tour, but when this reporter couldn’t attend on

a given date, the museum would not offer an alternative. To get an advance look, City Paper joined a public tour arranged by the Urban Land Institute. It wasn’t a clandestine mission: This writer registered as press and clearly identified himself as such during interviews.)

The most sophisticated part of the Spy Museum’s new $162 million building is outside the facility. Some visitors, namely parents and school chaperones, will wish they’d stayed there. The three exhibit floors of the museum are all condensed within the building’s black box, packed with frenetic, screen-forward infotainment made to occupy the museum’s target audience of overstimulated middle schoolers.

“I can be an architect for another 50 years and I guarantee I will never have another client that asks, ‘What about the ninjas repelling from the ceiling? Can we make the ninjas block the exit signs?’” says Bryan Chun, senior associate for Hickok Cole and the senior project architect, on the unique challenges associated with Spy. That’s what everyone calls it: Spy.

The covert operations gallery wasn’t open during the tour, alas. Other exhibits are straightforward: lipstick pistols and other nifty Cold War gizmos; vignettes about historical figures, from Mata Hari to Nikita Khrushchev; way too many video screens; and a lock on engagement. Guests will be able to grab an undercover mission card that they can use to unlock their secret identity, codeword, and mission status at various terminals for a liveaction experience. With low lighting but flashy features, the museum galleries read like a laser tag arena. The Spy Museum is excessively boy: Even before the first MAGA bucket hatwearing school group walks through the front door, it’s easy to taste the Axe Body Spray in the air.

Predictably, for an institution that venerates nation-state spycraft, a heavy dose of imperialism permeates the Spy Museum, too.

“Washington did not beat us MILITARILY. He simply OUTSPIED us,” reads a quip from a British commander along one wall. That’s a misquote, according to George Washington’s

estate at Mount Vernon, but no matter. There’s stronger stuff than patriotic Founding Fatherism on display. A fearmongering display about terrorism subdivides into three camps: “Terror Where We PLAY,” “Terror Where We WORK,” and “Terror Where We LIVE.” A section on torture asks whether “enhanced interrogation techniques” really work (with guiding illustrations to explain waterboarding).

The museum’s soft answer hearkens back to the moral ambiguity of the Bush administration: “It depends on who you ask.”

The appeal to state authority and military projection might have culminated in a commanding view of the seat of power from the seventh floor (or the rooftop space above it).

But eighth graders will not be dabbing over Washington: This space, with its viewshed jutting out toward the National Mall, is reserved exclusively for rentals. According to Kruelle, booking the entire event space will cost $20,000. The Spy Museum expects event revenue to make up 15 percent of its budget.

“At most other museums, you’re having

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 11

in the audience raised a critical question.

L’Enfant Plaza is a nightmare to navigate.

How are people supposed to find the museum from the Metro?

“Yes, that is a great question,” said Steve Moore, executive director for the Southwest Business Improvement District. Then, without a beat: “Are there any other questions?”

L’Enfant Plaza is a product of urban renewal, a mid-century federal redevelopment push that cut deep into African-American communities. In the late 1940s, Congress established the D.C. Redevelopment Land Agency to clear out areas for redevelopment and invested the National Capital Planning Commission with the authority to determine where to focus urban renewal. This project led to the broad destruction of thousands of Victorian townhomes, churches, and other structures in the mostly black neighborhoods of Southwest—which were further cut off from the city with the construction of I-395.

When it opened in 1968, L’Enfant Plaza was greeted as a masterpiece of urban design. I.M. Pei, who designed its master plan, is considered among the greatest architects alive today.

ners, it turns out. Any enthusiasm for L’Enfant Plaza is long since gone. The place is a formidable obstacle for the principles of walkability and streetscape access—theories popular with planners today and developed in no small part as a response to urban renewal. Wayfinding from L’Enfant Plaza Metro station is hopeless.

Until recent years, efforts to improve L’Enfant Plaza have stalled or failed.

“I came to Washington as a student of architecture on a scholarship in 1964,” the late architect Bing Thom, who redesigned Arena Stage, told City Paper back in 2012. “[What I saw at L’Enfant Plaza] changed my life, because I took one look out there and I said, ‘This can’t be the way to build cities.’”

Moore is well aware of the problem. He says that the SW BID is currently working with Portland, a London-based design team commissioned by the Washington Metro Area Transit Authority, to improve wayfinding from station exits that currently leave Metro riders feeling marooned. Even before now, Moore was looking for fixes on a smaller scale. For example, the SW BID reached out to the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden before it opened its blockbuster Yayoi Kusama show; they collaborated to outline the path from the Metro station to the museum in the artist’s sig-

About two months ago, Moore says, he convened a lunch for leaders in Southwest who had never, to his knowledge, come together as neighbors. Among the guests at this hospitality roundtable were Gus Casely-Hayford, the new director for the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African Art; Donna Westmoreland, the chief operating officer of I.M.P., which manages The Anthem; and luminaries from the Hirshhorn, Museum of the Bible, and Arena Stage, plus representatives from Southwest hotels and restaurants.

“Any one of them would be a TED talk,” Moore says. “They never sat around the table ever to talk to each other.”

The National Capital Planning Commission is also invested in improving L’Enfant Plaza (and reversing its original sin, the destruction of Southwest). In 2011, the Commission introduced a comprehensive plan known as the Southwest Ecodistrict, whose framework called for remaking 10th Street SW as a pedestrian corridor that will thread the National Mall to the Waterfront, via a revived Benjamin Banneker Park. The program calls for transforming the 110-acre concrete federal district into a sustainable cultural destination.

Between the new Wharf development and the National Mall, there finally may be pres-

The plaza’s signature is a below-grade shopping mall, the Promenade, which connects the four original towers. Araldo Cossutta, a Pei associate who also designed a Brutalist church in downtown D.C. that was demolished in 2014, made the North and South Buildings; Vlastimil Koubek designed East and West, while Edwin F. Schnedl gave us the mall and food court.

Brutalism made better architects than plan-

nature polka dots.

“All of that access from the National Mall down to the waterfront—10th, 7th, and 4th streets—really has to be rethought,” Moore says. “And people have to change their minds about how they’re going to get to the Wharf, the National Mall, and Spy, ultimately. It doesn’t seem to me like it’s ever going to be convenient to drive there.”

sure to try something new with L’Enfant Plaza. But the Great Recession gummed up some plans for change, while critics say that authorities have dragged their heels. L’Enfant Plaza falls within a part of the capital city where, under federal law, the U.S. Commission of Fine Arts has a lot of say over what private construction projects get built. The Shipstead-Luce Act offers this area the strongest protections that

[private events] in exhibit halls,” Kruelle said during the tour. “We can do both.”

Kriston Capps

During a panel session after the tour, a woman

12 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

preservationists can muster.

“JBG has owned L’Enfant since 2003,” Sabatier says, and in that time, the developer has conducted significant renovations of existing towers. “Until 2015, we were not able to get anything entitled to build there. Under the Shipstead-Luce Act, this area’s under the CFA approval process. We came and approached them with iterations and iterations of massive office buildings that we wanted to build, and they were like, no freaking way.”

Thomas Luebke, the secretary of the Commission of Fine Arts, can’t recall his agency ever rejecting any plan from JBG Smith for L’Enfant Plaza. He can rattle off a handful of projects proposed for the area over the last decade or so, including a plan for the National Children’s Museum designed by César Pelli that never materialized. The Spy Museum never faced any serious impediments, he says, although the Commission pushed back on the size and volume of certain features.

“We gave them a hard time, but we thought that working with the Rogers people was very gratifying,” Luebke says. “You could have these conversations about aesthetic issues very productively.”

What moved the needle for the Spy Museum, its planners say, was Rogers himself. His firm, Rogers Stirk Harbour + Partners, led the design for another JBG Smith project that joined two office buildings (at 300 New Jersey Ave. NW and 51 Louisiana Ave. NW) under a glass atrium supported by a bright yellow treelike structure. The firm once proposed an office building whose structural systems would be legible from the outside in the space now occupied by the Eaton Hotel.

While Rogers wasn’t directly involved in the Spy Museum’s design (that was another partner, Ivan Harbour), the architect personally delivered the presentation before the CFA. And even though he made a few flubs— describing exterior escalators when he meant stairs, for example, according to architects present—his design won over the commission. “[Rogers] developed the Pompidou Centre when I was still in diapers. This guy is a personal hero,” Chun says. “But one thing to clarify: They were the designers. We were the architects. They can say things we can’t.”

He adds, “It’s not what he said. It’s who said it, and how he said it.”

Luebke doesn’t necessarily disagree. “It’s possible that I’ve conveniently forgotten some dark episode when the commission said no [to JBG], but I’m struggling,” he says. “We considered it to be a very successful review process.”

In any event, JBG Smith got the go-ahead to proceed with the Spy Museum as well as a new office building at 500 L’Enfant Plaza. The Urban Institute, a policy think tank and the office building’s anchor tenant, opened up shop there in March. Taken together, these projects represent the biggest changes to the site in decades— maybe since its opening. With the Wharf thriving and green shoots sprouting in L’Enfant Plaza, Moore says that Southwest is shaping up.

“That [Southwest Ecodistrict] plan would have sat on the shelf for the rest of our lives if Spy hadn’t moved to 10th Street,” Moore says.

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By the time the National Museum of Crime & Punishment closed its doors in Penn Quarter in September 2015, the museum was still garnering hundreds of thousands of visitors every year. The operation remained profitable, according to Janine Vaccarello, the chief operating officer of the museum (which has since reopened under a new name in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee). The Crime Museum didn’t close its doors without a fight.

“I was trying to save us in D.C.,” Vaccarello says. “I was heartbroken.”

The Crime Museum was paying more than $1 million to rent its 28,000-square-foot space in Penn Quarter. But the landlord wanted more. While legal troubles reported by Washingtonian at the time may have complicated the matter, Vaccarello says the only problem was the lease. Scrambling for a solution, she found a sponsor who would boost their rent in exchange for space in the museum building—but to no avail.

“I actually said to [the landlord], “How much do you want? What if I give you $2 million a year?’” Vaccarello says. “They came back two weeks later and said, ‘We’re going to execute the terms of our lease.’”

In the early 2000s, as D.C. rebounded from decades of financial distress, private nonprofit museums proliferated downtown. The Newseum, Crime Museum, and Spy Museum added a kitsch factor to a Gallery Place anchored by the Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery and American Art Museum. Now, those private museums are gone—or on their way out.

Only two months after the National Law Enforcement Museum opened in Judiciary Square last October, the museum was looking at defaulting on some of its debt, according to Bloomberg Businessweek. The cop museum anticipated a lineup of 420,000 visitors per year, but so far, it’s been a bust: Just 15,000 people showed up over its first three months. Likewise, the Newseum struggled for years to live up to its marquee facility at the border between Penn Quarter and the Mall. In January, the museum gave up the ghost, announcing the sale of its building to Johns Hopkins University.

In this context, the Spy Museum stands out as a success story. “Spy exceeded all expectations,” Kruelle says, pulling in more than 600,000 visitors a year. (Its 2018 attendance was 571,000, down from a 10-year average of 619,200.) By 2013, the museum started looking for a new home. Plans to occupy the Carnegie Library in Mount Vernon Square fell apart when the expansion—which would have introduced glass-enclosed wings around the historic building, plus several levels below grade—failed to pass muster with the city’s historic preservation guard.

Smaller cultural organizations have followed the exodus out of downtown. The Goethe-Institut Washington held its ground at 7th and I streets NW for nearly 20 years before it left for Farragut West in 2015. “Unfortunately, the owner of our current building no longer wanted to offer us a reasonable rate for renting the space,” Norma Broadwater, then a staffer at Goethe, told City Paper at the time.

“We know the challenges more than anybody, at one point having two mortgages in the city,” says Kristi Maiselman, the executive director of CulturalDC, a nonprofit that owns the Source Theatre on 14th Street NW. For more than a decade, CulturalDC ran a black-box stage and an art gallery, Flash-

borhoods and corridors, the Mobile Art Gallery racked up more than 45,000 visits in its first year, Maiselman says; in the 13 years that CulturalDC operated Flashpoint, she doubts it attracted 45,000 visitors total.

Downtown’s not quite finished yet. The National Children’s Museum will finally re-

seum of the Bible, recorded more than half a million visits in its first six months since opening at 4th and D streets SW in 2017. It’s hard to say what success looks like for a museum with a holy writ, especially since its size and scope put it in a category all its own: The 430,000-square-foot building cost $500 mil-

point, as well as its offices, from a space on G Street NW, across from the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Library. The arts incubator even bought the space outright, at a belowmarket rate, in 2013. But just 3 years later, the organization sold to a developer.

“The reality is, it was tough to maintain an affordable space for artists and organizations and be able to pay the mortgage,” Maiselman says. “Even a below-market mortgage, it’s tough. It’s downtown.” She adds, “There’s not enough money in the city to help offset any of those costs.”

What the Spy Museum and others give up by leaving downtown is ample foot traffic.

Downtown museums also benefited from a clustering effect: Having more of them in one place made them all more viable. This factor was critical, since the Newseum, Crime Museum, and Spy Museum all charged high prices for admission. Despite the many free museums along the National Mall, private museums survived or thrived downtown, because downtown serves as its own destination. There’s no Shake Shack on the Mall.

For its part, Maiselman says that CulturalDC has more than made up for the loss of its brick-and-mortar space with its Mobile Art Gallery, a fully functioning 40-foot shipping container that it uses to host temporary exhibits. By bringing art directly to different neigh-

emerge in November inside the Ronald Reagan Building in Federal Triangle. Next year, a museum of linguistics called Planet Word aims to open in the long-shuttered Franklin School. And the National Museum of Women in the Arts did numbers in 2018, thanks to record attendance for a couture show by the fashion house Rodarte. Of downtown’s eight theaters, all but the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Sidney Harman Hall had a better-than-average year in attendance, according to a report from the Downtown Business Improvement District.

Moore says that new developments in Southwest stand to offset any loss in visibility they might suffer from leaving downtown.

The Anthem produces more than 120 concerts and shows a year, making Maine Avenue in Southwest one of the biggest pickup and dropoff zones in the city, he says.

He notes that the free neighborhood shuttle already conveys more than 40,000 people a month. The Spy Museum adds another destination to the mix. With ample space for tour buses and school convoys to hover, there should be no shortage of derpy Fortnite dances on the plaza.

“It all works together to give that L’Enfant Promenade a real shot in the arm,” Luebke says.

Another new player in Southwest, the Mu-

lion to build. While scandal may have harmed the Bible Museum’s reputation—five of its purported Dead Sea Scroll artifacts were revealed to be forgeries in October—its attendance has not slowed.

But for local residents, L’Enfant Plaza is still uncharted territory. JBG Smith has an incentive to get the Promenade piece right, since the developer also represents another site plagued by an underground mall: Crystal City, where Amazon’s arrival is imminent. Maltz, the Spy guy, has pledged to invest in the restoration of Benjamin Banneker Park, a neglected modernist park and fountain. And ARTECHOUSE, a gallery for techy art on Maryland Avenue SW, has already put Southwest on the map for the influencer set. The Wharf, the Mall, the Southwest Ecodistrict—all the components are falling into place.

The Spy Museum is several things: An immersive intelligence whitewash enclosed within a baronial engineering triumph. A gala platform supported by a romper room.

For Southwest, though, Spy might be the final piece to make sense of the puzzle, Moore says.

“This has thrown this little quadrant of the city way, way up, in terms of what it is as a walkable, maybe national destination for—in aggregate—a set of cultural destinations.” CP

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DCFEED

what we ate this week: Spring greens hummus bowl with mint pesto, aleppo chili oil, and pita gremolata, $11, Little Sesame.

Satisfaction level: 5 out of 5. what we’ll eat next week: Twice-cooked lamb rib with Chinese five-spice and pickled onion, $11, Queen’s English.

Excitement level: 4 out of 5.

All Is Fair in Love and Bar D.C. bartenders dish on the state of dating, from the bathroom bail to the dying art of in-person conversation.

As D.C. bArtenDers shake and stir your drinks, they’re on double duty as covert navigators of D.C.’s finicky dating scene. Catch them nodding in agreement as you show off your embellished cocktail knowledge; acting with lawyer-like discretion as you bring your third first date through the same bar in a single week; and offering to take over your Tinder account for the night, swiping right as they see fit.

They’ve seen it all, which is why City Paper asked seven female bartenders with 62 years of combined experience to divulge what they’ve learned about dating in D.C. and what advice they have for District denizens trying to find their one true love, or at least a one night stand. We’re starting with women, but look for the companion column featuring advice and observations from men in the coming months.

YOUNG & HUNGRY

Bartenders employ minimal detective skills to discern when you’re on a date.

“They have this nervous look every time someone comes through the door,” says Kapri Robinson, who bartends at Reliable Tavern.

“They stare them down and ask, ‘Is that the profile picture I remember?’ There’s over-excitement when they start to talk. Maybe it continues or maybe it completely dies.”

Colony Club Bar Manager Lauren Paylor agrees. “There’s always that awkward introduction where you see them wandering around the bar comparing face to picture,” she says. “Worst case scenario: People walk in, aren’t happy with what they see, and walk out.”

Mistakes happen. “There are some funny stories of people meeting the wrong person and then the right person shows up,” says Maxwell Park bartender Niki Lang. The wine bar she helps run is a first date magnet.

Daters can doodle on a chalkboard-topped bar if conversation stalls.

“A guy came in and went up to a girl, which was the wrong girl, and then his correct date showed up and he actually asked the girl he

sat next to to get up and move to make room for his date,” Lang explains. “The other girl and her date were laughing it off while the guy and his [new] date had the worst time.

It was the fastest I’ve ever seen anyone drink wine. You can tell within a couple minutes if they’re going to go really badly.”

Kapri Robinson

Bartenders commit bad dates, public breakups, and rotten behavior to memory.

“The worst breakups are often when men believe the woman they’re breaking up with is not going to have an emotional outburst because they’re in public,” says Jessi Weinstein, who currently bartends at Maydan. “The reality is a woman is like, ‘I don’t care you, just really hurt me.’ As a hospitality person you don’t know what to do. The first time I saw a breakup, I was like, ‘Maybe I’ll send her some almonds? A little bar snack?’”

Megan Shaff, a bartender at Seven Reasons, has also worked at Maydan. That’s where she witnessed a breakup that produced a medical miracle. A woman on crutches hobbled into the hotspot to sit down with a man whom Shaff presumes was her boyfriend.

“They’re not agreeing on anything about the meal, drinks, or their weekend plans,” Shaff says. “Then they’re in a full-on screaming match at the bar.” At one point he tells her he’s done and walks out. “She throws the crutches to the side and goes running after him. We had to chase them down and get a card to make them pay for the meal and return her crutches.” They inquired if she was OK. “We couldn’t stop laughing about how she

16 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Darrow Montgomery

By Laura Hayes

had suddenly been healed.”

Some people wait for their date to use the bathroom and then bail, according to several bartenders. Robinson tended to two people who seemed to have started their date elsewhere before settling down at Reliable Tavern.

They ordered two negronis. When he hit the restroom, she closed out. “I don’t know what happened,” Shaff says. “I asked if she was OK because we’re very protective. She was like, ‘He’s just a dick.’ I was like, ‘I hope you come back,’ as she was storming out.” He finished both negronis.

Many D.C. bartenders are trained to recognize when patrons are uncomfortable or in distress to prevent sexual harassment and assault. Some bars use their own curriculum, others call on the D.C.-based organization Safe Bars to learn bystander intervention techniques. About 25 D.C. bars are active Safe Bars participants. And a recent initiative in Arlington instructs patrons to “Ask for Angela” if they feel unsafe. More than 20 bars are partici-

pating in this initiative.

Carlie Steiner works with her staff at Himitsu to closely monitor whether diners are having a good time and remembers some challenging scenarios when she was bartending at barmini. “When you get into those price tiers of barmini cocktails, unfortunately our society has created a dynamic in the dating world where someone feels they are owed more for spending more,” she says. “That’s why I’ve become so diligent for looking out for stuff that seems uncomfortable.”

The ubiquity of online dating has changed bar culture.

“Jack Rose’s upstairs terrace was the mecca of Tinder dates,” Shaff says. She previously worked there as well. “Tuesdays you could look down the entire bar and it was all first dates.”

Shaff believes apps have caused younger Washingtonians to collectively forget how to converse. “They’re not used to talking to

DCFEED someone in real life,” she says. “They’re more comfortable sitting next to each other and texting one another. I’ve seen people sit down and have nothing to talk about, probably because they’ve texted it all. But then they look at each other and are like, ‘Are we doing this?’ Then they walk out and you know they’re going to smash it out.”

“You know so much about somebody before you sit down with them now,” Steiner adds, based on observation and personal experience. “The last few dates I’ve been on I can tell that people have Googled me.” The questions are too specific. Overall, she says, it makes it harder to tell when people are on first dates because couples have already broken the ice.

Old dating norms are gradually falling away.

“You don’t really see guys buying girls drinks,” Shaff says. “No one wants to be approached anymore.” Robinson concurs. “It’s hard now to really navigate how to speak to a stranger without these presumptions that it’s a negative thing,” she says.

On the rare occasion that someone wants to buy another patron a drink, Robinson has a strategy. She first asks the person on the receiving end if they’d like to accept the drink. “If they say ‘No,’ I tell the person, ‘Sorry, I can’t do that for you,’” she says. “If they agree, I’ll say, ‘Would you like to take it over and say hello?’ I see this situation. I’m watching it.”

The state of forming unions is a little bleak.

“It seems like it’s a bit rough out there,” says Jo McDaniel. She’s the bar manager at A League of Her Own, a new bar for LGBTQ+ women inside Pitchers. “As much as we’re a transient city, it’s a bit incestuous,” she says, recommending that newcomers ask bartenders to dish on whoever they’re crushing on.

“Don’t take a date somewhere you have a lot of history because you will run into people you’ve slept with if you go to the monthly queer girl party,” McDaniel also suggests.

“I’ve seen recently broken up people both on dates with other people staring at each other across the crowd because they’re not over each other. Don’t do that.”

While the queer scene could use a larger dating pool, the heterosexual dating world isn’t evenly matched. City Lab reported in February that heterosexual men have a considerable dating advantage in D.C., where there are 63,000 more single women than men. “It’s definitely a man’s world in D.C.,” Shaff says.

“They have the pick of the litter.”

Some bartenders say they see women giving men second looks when they shouldn’t.

Weinstein points to two men who came into Maydan and sat next to two women, one of

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whom was single. They started conversing. “It piqued my interest because I overheard one of the men tell the women he’s dating someone eight years younger and he wouldn’t be OK dating a girl who is four years older,” she says. “Obviously we know we’re going to a bad place at this point.”

Right before the alleged braggart left, he reached into his pocket, pulled out some paper trash, and set it on the bar between the two women. “I thought it was so bizarre,” Weinstein says. “Then the married woman in the group goes, ‘Oh well, he seemed kind of nice, maybe you should go out with him.’ They just looked at me and I was shaking my head.”

Drinks will cost you, but this advice from bartenders is free.

“I think it’s wildly important to advise daters not to hit on the bartender,” McDaniel offers.

She’s had people get flirty in front of the person they’re supposed to be wooing. She also cautions would-be daters not to plan on a romantic connection at 9 p.m. on a Friday. “That’s going to be loud loud and dark dark,” she says.

“I do not recommend high traffic and high volume times where you’re trying to focus on another person, getting a drink, and navigating a crowded bar. It’s not romantic. Happy hour is a great time to date in D.C.” Robinson warns against politics as a first conversation topic. “That starts to get into sticky waters when two people meet and realize they don’t think alike … Being in this area makes people think they need to be politically savvy and come out with guns blazing. I want people to sit, chill, drink, and talk about who they are as a person and what they enjoy doing.”

Lang encourages daters to mingle. “Try to have a good time and relax because the dates where people are having fun and playing and joking around are always the best,” she says.

“The people that come in on dates and end up talking to people around them and being engaging in general end up better than the ones that are more intense.”

“Don’t get nerves on a first date,” Steiner says. “It’s important to remember your value.

You are assessing that person; you’re not there to be assessed. If everyone thought that way it would be a much more comfortable experience. Emotionally healthy human beings are attracted to confident people.”

Robinson echoes Steiner. “Be yourself and be confident in who you are,” she urges. “Be patient with new people. When you’re first meeting someone, be a little bit open and aware that the person is going to have new thoughts and new ideas. Sometimes people don’t have the patience for one another anymore. I think that will help you get past the first date.”

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CPARTS

The first ever Antiracist Book Festival kicks off Saturday at American University. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts Tazzeka

Quick Cuts

Reviews from the 33rd annual FilmfestDC Washington, DC International Film Festival.

Tazzeka

Directed by Jean-Philippe Gaud France, Morocco Growing up in a remote village in the Middle Atlas mountains, a young Moroccan named Elias (Mahdi Belemlih) nurtures hopes of one day recreating the French dishes that he’s memorized from the cookbooks of the late Joël Robuchon. At the local restaurant, though, his boss won’t let him cook poularde de Bresse, so Elias must content himself with elevating the local tajines while dreaming of emigrating to Paris and mourning his older brother, who died at Gibraltar while trying to reach Europe. That dream of emigration suddenly starts to seem more real when Elias’ cousin Salma (Ouidad Elma) comes back to the village from Paris—wearing jeans and no headscarf, smoking cigarettes and sunbathing in the nude, and making out, briefly, with Elias. Under the encouragement of Julien Blanc (Olivier Sitruk), a hotshot Parisian chef who hosts a reality TV show called Super Chef, Elias finally braves the trip, only to become a day laborer in Paris and a fugitive from the raids of the French immigration police. He soon learns new styles of cooking from the migrant Senegalese friends he makes on construction sites, enjoying their dishes of yassa and repaying them in kind by 18 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

making couscous with French toast. Director Jean-Philippe Gaud presents you with a variety of obvious narrative possibilities (Elias and Salma pursue a Jules et Jim-style passion! Elias wins Super Chef! Elias gets really into fusion cooking as a metaphor for migration!), and then dismisses each, in turn, as facile and incomplete. Tazzeka is thereby all the more powerful as a portrait of south-to-north migration in the 21st century: All the deep hope and loss are here, as well as the small, lifesaving grace that immigrants can show toward one another.

—Ted Scheinman Screens Saturday, April 27 at 4 p.m. and Wednesday, May 1 at 6 p.m. at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

Echo In the Canyon

Directed by Andrew Slater U.S. In Echo In the Canyon, singer/songwriter Jakob Dylan leads viewers on a trip back to a legendary time and place in rock history: mid-’60s Laurel Canyon, where the folk-rock sound was born. Artists from The Byrds, Crosby, Stills & Nash, Buffalo Springfield, and The Beach Boys all lived in the neighborhood,

and according to the those who remain, it was commonplace for one musician to show up on another’s doorstep, smoke a little weed, and write a masterpiece or two.

Can we trust the memories of these aging rockers? Probably not, but it hardly matters. Dylan is more interested in printing the legend, and listening to Eric Clapton, Roger McGuinn, and David Crosby search out loud through the smoke-filled recesses of their mind is its own reward. Add in Dylan’s live performances of their best songs—with friends like Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor, and Beck in tow—and Echo In the Canyon has the timeless appeal of a tasty riff.

It’s the sunny equivalent of a tourist bus trip past the homes of famous rock stars, and director Andrew Slater carefully avoids the dark alleys. McGuinn recounts the time Brian Wilson stayed up all night on amphetamines just to write a terrible song, but he does so with a laugh and a smile, with no mention of the troubles that lay ahead for Wilson. But despite Dylan’s best efforts, a sadness creeps in. “I still believe music can change the world,” Stephen Stills says at one point, before continuing, “I’m not letting this go.” The documentary is meant to be a celebration of the era’s legacy, but the freedom on display in both the songs and the stories behind them feels so ancient it might as well be gone. Echo In the Canyon is not quite the party it wants to be, just a funeral with really bitchin’ music.

—Noah Gittell Screens Saturday, April 27 at 8 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre.

General Magic

Directed by Sarah Kerruish and Matt Maude United Kingdom, United States General Magic opens with this statement: “Please turn your phone off or switch it to airplane mode. The film you’re about to watch is the story of how your phone first switched on and how a handful of people changed the lives of billions.” Indeed, General Magic was an offshoot of Apple dedicated to creating a personal communications device that you could keep in your pocket. Way back in 1989, founder Marc Porat drew a diagram of what would become a prototype of a smartphone. Along with other Apple visionaries and some talented young engineers, Porat set out to introduce the world to the information age.

General Magic chronicles the rise and fall of the company: the excitement when its technology and innovation worked (it also created the first emoticons), the disappointment years down the road when it became clear the employees had become too enamored with fucking around with possibility instead of focusing on delivering a product. The film is very Behind the Music in arc and feel; we’re happy, we’re sad, then we’re happy again. It kind of trails off near the end and ultimately seems longer than its 90 minutes. But what makes it remarkable is its footage of those halcyon days: A filmmaker had chronicled it all, and it’s fascinating to see legends such as Andy Hertzfeld and Joanna Hoffman (portrayed by Kate Winslet in Jobs) in their prime. The team predicted the impact their creation would have: “Once you use it, you won’t be able to live without it.”

—Tricia Olszewski Screens Sunday, April 28 at 3:30 p.m. and Wednesday, May 1 at 6 p.m. at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

CPARTS The Best Sommelier in the World Directed by Nicolás Carreras Argentina

There’s a point in The Best Sommelier in the World when any viewers who have been in the service industry will start to sweat. The three finalists in the global competition have to serve a table full of judges, who order a bottle of extra brut champagne. But of the four bottles provided the sommeliers, none are extra brut. They have to satisfy their customers. What to do?

It’s one of the more nerve-wracking of a series of very difficult challenges the contestants face, and of course some handle the situation better than others. (They also have to make a dry martini for the table. Did you know that sommeliers deal with liquor as well as wine?) The downfall of the film, however, is that it ultimately lacks suspense, telegraphing which contestants will make it through to subsequent rounds by paying attention to them via commentary from others or simply following them with a camera. But what the film lacks in excitement it makes up for with uniqueness, especially if this is not a world you’re familiar with. After all, as someone close to the competition says, “to excite people through a liquid is the biggest virtue that a person could have.”

—Tricia Olszewski Screens Wednesday, May 1 at 6 p.m. at Landmark’s E Street Cinema and Thursday, May 2 at 6 p.m. at AMC Mazza Gallerie.

Fading Portraits

Directed by Ali Shilandri Iran Fading Portraits is a dutiful tribute to the prolific dissident Iranian photographer Maryam Zandi, as well as a document of Zandi’s six-year effort to persuade Iran’s Ministry of Islamic Culture to let her publish one of her proudest collections—the photos Zandi took of blacklisted artists during and following the revolution of 1979.

In 2010, Zandi snubbed thenPresident Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when he tried to give her an award and says she’s faced heightened censorship ever since, though the 2013 election of President Hassan Rouhani gave her hope. (Failing approval from the new administration, Zandi vows to take her photos to Afghanistan or Pakistan and publish them there.) The film gives us dreamy passages showing Zandi taking photos on the Gulf or in the desert, but director Ali Shilandri intercuts these sequences with agonizingly long phone calls detailing the bureaucratic play-by-play at the Ministry of Culture.

The film is strongest when Shilandri presses Zandi on her philosophy of photography, which Zandi explains is born of her lifelong sense of imminent death. Zandi says that she gravitat-

ed toward portraiture because it was a way to preserve people whose lives she feared for, and repeats the mantra that “forgetting is death.” The statement is true literally: Old age brings forgetting, and then death. But a censorious state, too, brings forgetting, and with it another kind of death. Fading Portraits is a deeply personal history of how the Iranian revolution betrayed the progressive artists who had protested the old regime—and especially how it betrayed the women among them.

—Ted Scheinman Screens Thursday, May 2 at 6 p.m. and Friday, May 3 at 3:30 p.m. at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

Hugh Hefner’s After Dark: Speaking Out in America Directed by Brigitte Berman Canada

Hugh Hefner abused women in public and private while promulgating moderately progressive politics that established him among an audience of credulous Boomers as a socially conscious aesthete. No matter that the closest thing Hef had to taste was an upscale bordello underscored by inoffensive jazz; for over half a century, he was able to cast himself as a tastemaker, when he was little more than an appetite-server.

Hefner’s two television shows inadvertently underline these hypocrisies, as does Brigitte Berman’s new rose-tinted documentary about Hef ’s rather unsuccessful TV career. The first show, Playboy Penthouse, ran from 1959-1961; the second, After Dark, from 1969-1970. Each is set in a party context where Hefner plays host with a curious, lock-jawed anti-charisma that makes these ostensibly swinging affairs feel oddly square.

The musical guests (Nina Simone, Smokey Robinson, Sammy Davis Jr.) are the natural highlights. In latter-day interviews,

Dick Gregory and Whoopi Goldberg stress the importance of featuring black artists on national television in a mixed-race setting (Hef was a “pioneer,” Whoopi says), and credit here is surely due. Yet Berman, who won a best documentary Os-

car for her 1985 portrait of the clarinettist Artie Shaw, operates in full hagiography mode here; if a viewer knew nothing else about American cultural history, they might leave the theater imagining Hefner as the Abraham Lincoln of American media. On race, though, he was more of a Branch Rickey—a progressive, but also aware of the benefits to be reaped through making a certain amount of space for black talent. There’s a fine line between capitalizing on counterculture and promulgating it, and Hefner straddled that line as it suited him, in the same sad arrangement that in more recent years has given us woke corporations. In both his shows, Hefner offered his male audience a fantasy of having it both ways: the opportunity to bask in the reflected virtue of the brave and the downtrodden, from the comfort of a sofa in a penthouse apartment staffed by unseen servants and furnished with beautiful young women who appear to have taken a vow of silence.

—Ted Scheinman Screens Thursday, May 2 at 6 p.m. and Saturday, May 4 at 6 p.m. at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

DC Noir

Directed by George Pelecanos, Gbenga Akinnagbe, Nick Pelecanos, and Stephen Kinigopoulos U.S. In his career as a novelist, George Pelecanos specializes in detective novels set in his hometown of D.C. He also collaborated with David Simon on the iconic crime series The Wire. DC Noir, an adaptation of an anthology of his stories, seems split between these two lanes. It tries to do what The Wire did for Baltimore: tell a multi-faceted story about the underworld of a city.

But he overlays it with hard-boiled voice over and a misleading title, creating confusion in the viewer and, ultimately, disappointment when you realize you’ve been duped. DC Noir is not noir at all, just an average crime film.

It’s a series of minor stories about people we’ve seen many times before: a working-class teenager who gets mixed up in a drug deal, a veteran cop trying to make a difference on tough streets, and a police informant taking care of his elderly father. The film spends so little time with any of them that they feel more like cliches than well drawn characters, and while there are some tense moments throughout, the film is missing the sense of style and place that has always defined noir. The most disappointing thing about DC Noir is that it could have been set anywhere. Outside of the terrific title sequence that films Fading Portraits D.C. landmarks from ominous angles, there is nothing in it that speaks to Washington’s character. This city deserves a better dark side.

—Noah Gittell Screens Saturday, May 4 at 8:30 p.m. at AMC Mazza Gallerie. washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 19

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By Ayad Akhtar Directed by Jackie Maxwell At Arena Stage to May 5 It Is temptIng and reductive to compare Junk—Pulitzer Prize winner Ayad Akhtar’s 2016 play—to other dramas about the financial industry. Sure, the characters and situations have a superficial similarity to films like The Big Short and The Wolf of Wall Street, but what Akhtar accomplishes is unique, especially for theater. Big personalities define these films, while Junk has more interest in the amoral milieu where destructive, hostile takeovers can thrive. With a large ensemble and detailed plotting, there is barely an opportunity for the audience to relax.

The play takes place in 1985, but director Jackie Maxwell and her team avoid any kitsch and nostalgia from the period. There are few props, and the costumes do not call attention to questionable ’80s fashion. Akhtar, Maxwell, and the cast share a common purpose in telling a labyrinthine procedural as efficiently as possible. Scene transitions are brisk—many actors rush to enter and leave the stage—with rapid-fire dialogue that has a plausible mix of exposition and character detail.

Our entry point is Robert Merkin (Thomas Keegan), a brilliant financial analyst who made headlines by declaring “debt is an asset.” Merkin is part of a team that wants to buy the fictional company Everson Steel using junk bonds and break it up for scrap. Everson Steel’s leader, Thomas Everson (Edward Gero), sees Merkin as an enemy, so he looks for another buyer who can save the company rather than destroy it. On top of that, we learn Merkin made his fortune through insider trading, and the U.S Attorney’s office is close to investigating him. Junk follows these stories until they clash in brutal, sometimes heartbreaking ways.

Akhtar’s script includes lots of financial minutiae. A lot of it may go over your head, but

Akhtar doubles back and lets characters explain their plans. The cumulative effect allows you to hum the tune even if you don’t know every single note. Characters who do not want to get rich but do have something to prove emerge; dollars, percentages, and indictments are just how everyone keeps score. So many modern plays are light on narrative, with a focus on characters in unique or challenging situations. Junk is the exact opposite: It is as narratively dense as a thriller, and yet on stage is the only place this material could work. Actors must share the performance space, so each power lunch, conference call, and board room meeting comes with a suffocating sense of intimacy.

The nature of such a production means that few performers get a chance to showboat.

There are many arguments and borderline nonstop profanity—think David Mamet, without the staccato rhythm—so the play succeeds and fails based on the greater ensemble. Thankfully, all the actors rise to the occasion, finding nuance even among characters who could have easily veered into caricature. Elan Zafir, playing Robert’s white collar accomplice Boris, for example, at first seems sleazy, but he is also more honest than Robert, whose attempts at legitimacy fall short.

One intriguing undercurrent in Junk is how anti-Semitism plays a role in what happens to Everson Steel. Robert and his superior are Jewish, while Everson and his preferred buyer are old money WASPs. At first, the prejudice is only implied: The older characters complain that Robert and the others are driven by unseemly greed, as if their own motives are more pure. As Robert’s takeover becomes more likely, some characters are quick to fall back on slurs. Like in Akhtar’s 2013 play Disgraced, he sees how prejudice lurks under the civilized, sophisticated veneer everyone has created for themselves. This is also a handy way for the audience to shift its sympathies. By the time the breakneck pace slackens and each narrative thread is resolved, you may be surprised how your allegiances align.

—Alan Zilberman 1101 6th St. SW. $56–$95. (202) 554-9066. arenastage.org.

FILMSHORT SUBJECTS

GAME OF GROANS Avengers: Endgame

Directed by Anthony and Joe Russo When We last saw The Avengers, they were defeated. Thanos, a genocidal alien with a philosophical streak, snapped his fingers and murdered half the universe, taking many beloved superheroes along the way. The remaining question was not if Thanos’ master plan would be undone—that was a given—but how. Avengers: Endgame initially takes that question seriously by grappling with what defeat means, but in the middle of its bloated runtime, it loses interest in its own plot and instead focuses on giving fans what they want. Fan service can be satisfying, just not the way the writers and directors handle it here, so by the time they get back to moments of gravitas, it is already too late.

In the aftermath of Thanos (Josh Brolin), the Avengers deal with survivor’s guilt. An emaciated Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) pins his anger on Captain America (Chris Evans), while Thor (Chris Hemsworth) turns his selfloathing inward. These scenes are intense because they are borne out of characters we have watched and adored for years. After establishing actual emotional stakes, screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely introduce a plan to undo the snap. Uncertain if they will succeed, the survivors somehow find the courage to be the heroes they once were, and their mission is an opportunity to rehash the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

By now you have heard that Endgame is just over three hours along, and the screenwriters insist they could not cut a thing. Their statement is an exaggeration or a flat-out lie: Endgame moves at a steady clip, until it grinds to a halt. In fact, one can pinpoint the exact moment where Markus and McFeely give in to fandom. Shrewd storytelling would avoid temptation, or find a way to conflate fan service with character development. This shift is galling because it erases the goodwill created by the film’s first hour. It is as if Iron Man, Thor, and the others forget they are on a dangerous mission, and the fate of the universe is

on their shoulders.

Endgame does not have to be dour; in fact, many of its funniest moments are when our heroes are reeling from the snap. Comedic notes are found by respecting the nature of the characters, and the actors who play them. Mawkish sentiment jettisons that respect.

Directors Anthony and Joe Russo fall into the same missteps that have plagued Marvel films. This film ends with a lengthy showdown, one that’s drained of imagination or suspense. Heroes careen through the air, and without dialogue to share the Avengers’ strategy, the whole thing would be incoherent. Magic bullets are no replacement for well choreographed action, but the best Marvel films at least found an emotional core and the outcome did not feel forgone. That forgone conclusion also relates to the inherent problem that Infinity War cannot resolve: If vanquished heroes return, then that cheapens the circumstances of their tragic deaths.

No one could have anticipated the cultural dominance that the Marvel Cinematic Universe would come to enjoy. Since the release of Iron Man more than a decade ago, these films have permanently changed popular culture, to the point that these actors may never shake the personas they helped cultivate. Downey Jr. will be forever tied to Iron Man, which is a shame since he’s been sleepwalking through the role since Civil War. Evans first founded the MCU’s moral center in The First Avenger, a North Star for the entire franchise, but here he is curiously given little to do. The only real highlights are Hemsworth and Mark Ruffalo as the Hulk, who find depth in unexpected ways. Many other performances, including newly beloved heroes, amount to little more than a cameo.

Like a comedy that leaves room for laughter, there are gaps in Avengers: Endgame for people to cheer. The film earns some of these moments, while others are obligatory or pandering. Either way, these films have blurred the line between creator and audience, leading to a movie-going experience that is more communal than ever before. What is lost by this shift is a sense of authority, so when Avengers: Endgame strives for tragic or triumphant notes, they are all the more hollow.

It is still possible to engage with superhero films in a traditionally satisfying way (Black Panther is proof of that). But for that to happen here, Endgame would need to internalize what the director of the first Avengers film once famously said and give its audience what they need, not what they want.

—Alan Zilberman Avengers: Endgame opens Friday in theaters everywhere.

Take Metrobus and Metrorail to the...

Tickets at dcjazzfest.org | @dcjazzfest

DC JAZZ FESTIVAL AND THE KENNEDY CENTER PRESENT

GREAT MASTERS OF JAZZ Celebrating the life and work of

Quincy Jones • Nancy Wilson • Shirley Horn • Roy Hargrove

Sunday June 16, 2019

John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts 8:00 PM • Concert Hall Tickets available at kennedy-center.org WITH PERFORMANCES BY

PATTI AUSTIN

JUSTIN KAUFLIN

ROY HARGROVE BIG BAND SHARÓN CLARK and Adam Clayton Powell III • Angela Stribling and more!

Presentation of Annual DC Jazz Festival Lifetime Achievement Awards to Quincy Jones and DC saxophonist-educator Fred Foss PRESENTING SPONSOR

GOLD SPONSORS

PLATINUM SPONSORS

MEDIA SPONSOR

The DC Jazz Festival®, a 501(c)(3) non-profit service organization, and its 2019 programs are made possible, in part, with major grants from the Government of the District of Columbia, Muriel Bowser, Mayor; with awards from the National Endowment for the Arts, the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, an agency supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts; the Office of Cable Television, Film, Music & Entertainment; the Office of the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development; and, in part, by major grants from the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, the Galena-Yorktown Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Wells Fargo Foundation, Gillon Family Charitable Fund, the NEA Foundation, Venable Foundation, The Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts, The Max and Victoria Dreyfus Foundation, and the Reva & David Logan Foundation. ©2019 DC Jazz Festival. All rights reserved.

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 21

Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD M3 ROCK FESTIVAL FEATURING

Whitesnake • Dokken with original members Don Dokken, George Lynch,

and Mick Brown • Extreme • Warrant • Skid Row and more! ..MAY 3-5 For a full lineup and more info, visit M3rockfest.com

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

Blue October w/ Mona .......................................................................... Th APR 25 Hot In Herre: 2000s Dance Party

with DJs Will Eastman and Ozker, Visuals by Kylos ............................... Sa 27

Andrea Gibson w/ Megan Falley ................................................................. Tu 30 Parachute w/ Billy Raffoul ...................................................................... W MAY 1

Slayer w/ Lamb of God • Amon Amarth • Cannibal Corpse ................................... MAY 14 DC101 KERFUFFLE FEATURING

Greta Van Fleet • Young The Giant • The Revivalists • Tom Morello • SHAED • THE Blue Stones ................................................. MAY 19

Florence + The Machine * w/ Blood Orange ................................. JUNE 3 CAPITAL JAZZ FEST FEATURING

Gladys Knight • BabyFace • Gregory Porter • Kem and more! ..... JUNE 7-9 For a full lineup, visit capitaljazz.com.

MAY

MAY (cont.)

MISSIO w/ Blackillac & Swells ...Th 2 The Strumbellas w/ The Moth & The Flame ..............F 3 Delta Rae w/ Noah Guthrie Early Show! 6pm Doors ......................Sa 4 Higher Brothers Late Show! 10:30pm Doors..................Sa 4 Son Volt w/ Ian Noe ...................Su 5 The Dandy Warhols w/ Cosmonauts & The Vacant Lots . M 6 Ex Hex w/ The Messthetics & Clear Channel ...........................F 10

No Scrubs: ‘90s Dance Party

with DJs Will Eastman & Ozker, Visuals by Kylos .........................F 24 U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS

CloZee w/ Bluetech & Choppy Oppy (live) .Sa 25 & FINAL NIGHT ADDED! FIRST TWO NIGHTS SOLD OUT! THIRD

Betty Who w/ Loote .................Th 30 The Distillers w/ Starcrawler ..F 31

Kevin Morby w/ Sam Cohen .....Sa 1 Local Natives

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

w/ Middle Kids .....................M 3 & Tu 4

The Devil Makes Three w/ DiTrani Brothers ..................Sa 11 Bear’s Den w/ Vera Sola .........Su 12 Architects w/ Thy Art is Murder

WPGC BIRTHDAY BASH FEATURING

Jacquees • Megan Thee Stallion • Summer Walker • Q Da Fool • Kiana Lede ........W 5 FRENSHIP w/ Glades ................Th 6 Dennis Lloyd ..............................F 7 Pink Sweat$ Early Show! 6pm Doors ......................Sa 8 Mixtape Pride Party with

& While She Sleeps ....................Tu 14 D NIGHT ADDED!

FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECON

Jim James (of My Morning Jacket) w/ Amo Amo

Two-Night Pass available .................Sa 18

STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS

The Floozies

DJs Matt Bailer, Lemz, Keenan Orr, Tezrah Late Show! 10pm Doors .....................Sa 8

Late Show! 10:30pm Doors ..............Sa 18

Superorganism w/ Simpson ..Tu 21 Chromatics w/ Desire • In Mirrors •

Ibeyi w/ Sudan Archives ..............Su 9 Monsieur Periné ....................M 10

Tess Roby .....................................W 22

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

9:30 CUPCAKES

JUNE

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL

Trevor Daniel w/ Noah North & 916frosty ......... F APR 26 U.S. Girls .................................Su 28 Foxing & Now, Now w/ Daddy Issues ......................W MAY 1 Hellogoodbye w/ Hala ..................Th 2

TR/ST w/ Lydia Ainsworth ................Su 5 9:30 CLUB & TRILLECTRO PRESENT Lucki w/ Swoosh God .....................Tu 7

The Score w/ Lostboycrow & Overstreet ..............W 8

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office • 930.com

Brandi Carlile w/ Lucius ........................................................................ JUNE 14 Willie Nelson & Family and Alison Krauss w/ Lukas Nelson (A Star is Born) ............................................................... JUNE 19 Jason Isbell and The 400 Unit & Father John Misty w/ Jade Bird ............................................................................................................ JUNE 21

Phish ........................................................................................................ JUNE 22 & 23 Pitbull .............................................................................................................. JULY 11 Thomas Rhett w/ Dustin Lynch • Russell Dickerson • Rhett Akins ............. JULY 18 Third Eye Blind & Jimmy Eat World * w/ Ra Ra Riot ..... JULY 19 CHRYSALIS AT MERRIWEATHER PARK

LORD HURON w/ Bully ....................................................................JULY 23 311 & Dirty Heads w/ The Interrupters • Dreamers • Bikini Trill .......... JULY 27 Train/Goo Goo Dolls * w/ Allen Stone ...........................................AUGUST 9 Chris Stapleton * w/ Margo Price & The Marcus King Band ................ AUGUST 11 Heart* w/ Joan Jett and The Blackhearts & Elle King........................... AUGUST 13 The Smashing Pumpkins & Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds* w/ AFI ......... AUGUST 17 Beck & Cage the Elephant * w/ Spoon & Sunflower Bean . AUGUST 22 Gary Clark Jr. and Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats .................... AUGUST 25 Ticketmaster • For full lineup & more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • impconcerts.com *Presented by Live Nation

Lincoln Theatre • 1215 U Street, NW Washington, D.C. JUST ANNOUNCED!

AN EVENING WITH

DAWES ...............................................................................................AUGUST 6 On Sale Friday, April 26 at 10am

THIS SATURDAY!

WASH., DC INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL

Echo in the Valley Film and Concert

A film about the birth/influence of the Laurel Canyon music scene followed by a live performance featuring Jakob Dylan, Cat Power,

22 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

AN EVENING WITH

and Jade Castrinos .......................APR 27 ApocalypticaD NIGHT ADDED!

FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECON

Imogen Heap with special guest Guy Sigsworth of Frou Frou ............... MAY 4

Plays Metallica By Four Cellos Tour .MAY 28

AN EVENING WITH

Glen Hansard ...........................JUN 3

• thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

TICKETS for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7pm on weekdays & until 11pm on show nights, 6-11pm on Sat, and 6-10:30pm on Sun on show nights.

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES impconcerts.com AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

Josh Ritter & The Royal City Band w/ Penny & Sparrow ............MAY 17 Chromeo (Live Band) .............MAY 19 Yann Tiersen (Solo In Concert) .........................MAY 24

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 Club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

930.com

CITYLIST

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com

Music 23 Theater 27 Film 28

Music

CLEVE FRANCIS

27

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

May 1

An Evening with

4

An Evening with

ZOE KEATING 2 DELBERT McCLINTON 3 NAJEE

FRIDAY CLASSICAL

BARNS AT WOLF TRAP 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Wu Han, Gloria Chien and Gilles Vonsattel.

7:30 p.m. $40. wolftrap.org.

DAVID ALLAN COE

8 Five City Live East Coast Tour 2019

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Saint-Saëns’s “Organ” Symphony. 7 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

BEAR BROOK PODCAST A PODCAST ABOUT A COLD CASE THAT MAY JUST CHANGE HOW MURDERS ARE INVESTIGATED...FOREVER

FROM NEW HAMPSHIRE PUBLIC RADIO

COUNTRY

BIRCHMERE 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Kris Kristofferson & The Strangers.

7:30 p.m. $115. birchmere.com.

Sam MAC McANALLY Morrow 11 GARY TAYLOR

10

DJ NIGHTS

MILKBOY ARTHOUSE 7416 Baltimore Ave, College Park. Kid Koala’s Satellite Turntable Orchestra. 8 p.m. $10–$30. milkboyarthouse.com.

13

An Evening with

GORDON LIGHTFOOT '80 Years Strong Tour'

FOLK

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Ana Egge & the Sentimentals. 8:30 p.m. $15. citywinery. com.

POP

THE ANTHEM 901 Wharf St. SW. (202) 888-0020.

Snow Patrol. 8 p.m. $45–$75. theanthemdc.com.

ROCK

THE HAMILTON 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Brent & Co. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

ROCK & ROLL HOTEL 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Jesse. 8 p.m. $20. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

WORLD

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

Gamelan Ensemble. 8 p.m. Free. theclarice.umd.edu.

SATURDAY CLASSICAL

GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY CENTER FOR THE ARTS 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. (888) 9452468. Holst’s the Planets. 8 p.m. $15. cfa.gmu.edu.

HYLTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTER 10960 George Mason Circle, Manassas. (703) 993-7759. Jeffrey Siegel. 8 p.m. $26–$44. hyltoncenter.org.

KENNEDY CENTER MILLENNIUM STAGE 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Saint-Saëns’s “Organ” Symphony. 8 p.m. $15–$109. kennedy-center.org.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS COOLIDGE AUDITORIUM First Street and Independence Avenue SE. (202) 7075507. Franz Liszt’s Sardanapalo. 2 p.m. Free. loc.gov.

COUNTRY

BIRCHMERE 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Cleve Francis. 7:30 p.m. $35. birchmere.com.

FOLK

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Joan Osborne Sings the Songs of Bob Dylan with LEA. 8 p.m. $35–$45. citywinery.com.

DAMIEN ESCOBAR 'Elements of Love Tour'

14&15

JAZZ

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Jeff Bradshaw & Friends feat. N’Dambi. 8 p.m. $35–$55. citywinery.com.

INCOGNITO with special guest MAYSA

29&30

THE WHO’S TOMMY

16

The 1993 musical The Who’s Tommy is not a revue featuring hits by The Who, but an adaptation of the band’s 1969 rock opera. It's the story of a genius pinball player who triumphs over hardships. Like the original New York cast, which featured Norm Lewis and Michael Cerveris making Broadway debuts, the Kennedy Center’s concert staging includes a bunch of boldface names.

Casey Cott (of Riverdale fame) stars as Tommy, the teenage pinball wizard, while Mandy Gonzalez (from In the Heights and Hamilton) plays his mother and two-time Tony winner Christian Borle portrays his dad. Add Wesley Taylor (a terrific Emcee at Signature Theatre’s Cabaret a few years back) as an evil babysitter and you’ve got a recipe for outstanding character acting the whole show through. Riverdale fans, Broadway nerds, and Pete Townshend groupies, this is the show for you. The show runs to April 29 at the Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater, 2700 F St. NW. $69–$219. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Rebecca J. Ritzel

with

WHINE DOWN Jana Kramer & Mike Caussin

17

NRBQ & SKIP CASTRO BAND

18

MACEO PARKER

19

JONATHAN BUTLER

20

STEVE EARLE & THE DUKES M T

Desperado’s/Wax Museum Reunion

he asTersons

21&22 SIXTH & I HISTORIC SYNAGOGUE 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. VeVe & Tha Rebels. 8 p.m. $25. sixthandi.org.

JAZZ

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY 3700 O St. NW. (202) 687-0100. Georgetown University Jazz Festival. noon.

Free. georgetown.edu.

POP

KENNEDY CENTER TERRACE GALLERY 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Patina Miller. 7:30 p.m. $49–$79. kennedy-center.org.

ROCK

THE HAMILTON 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. 40 Dollar Fine. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

SUNDAY CLASSICAL

NATIONAL GALLERY OF ART WEST GARDEN COURT 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 842-

6941. The Brandee Younger Trio. 3:30 p.m. Free. nga. gov.

PHILLIPS COLLECTION 1600 21st St. NW. (202) 3872151. Quatuor Danel. 4 p.m. $5–$45. phillipscollection.org.

23

THE NILS LOFGREN BAND

THE AMY RAY BAND w/Amanda Anne Platt & The Honeycutters

24

An Evening with

THE SELDOM SCENE

FUNK & R&B

"CD Release Show!"

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Sylver Logan Sharp. 7 p.m. $25–$25. citywinery.com.

POP CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Chris Trapper. 7:30 p.m. $18. citywinery.com.

DAVIS PERFORMING ARTS CENTER AT GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY 3700 O St. NW. (202) 687-3838.

Guild of Bands. 3 p.m. Free. performingarts.georgetown.edu.

THE HAMILTON 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Lisa Loeb. 7:30 p.m. $19.75–$39.75. thehamiltondc.com.

JAMMIN JAVA 227 Maple Ave. East, Vienna. (703) 2551566. Jane Siberry. 7 p.m. $30. jamminjava.com.

WALTER BEASLEY 30 JOANNE SHAW-TAYLOR Steve 31 PAUL THORN Poltz 26

“Ain’t Love Strange” 20th Anniversary Tour

June 1 2

MARC COHN

THE MUSICAL BOX "A Genesis Extravaganza"

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 23

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

Tosca In love and war, what will you stand for?

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS

Photo by Elise Bakketun

Taika Waititi was still a name beloved in cult film circles when What We Do in the Shadows, a found-footage vampire comedy, premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. That was before Waititi solidified his status with Hunt for the Wilderpeople and plunged into the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Thor: Ragnarok. Now, Shadows is considered one of Waititi’s best films to date, and has been spun off into two television series. In the original movie, four immortal vampires living in urban New Zealand clash over daily annoyances like chores, rent, and evil ex-girlfriends as they terrorize the local populace. Co-directing and co-starring in the film is Jemaine Clement (of Flight of the Conchords fame), whom Waititi collaborated with when the two were members of Kiwi comedy troupe The Humourbeasts. Waititi and Clement whittled Shadows down to 90 minutes after shooting more than 100 hours of original, improvisational vampire comedy. The finished film is packed with visceral gore and horror elements that call to mind The Blair Witch Project juxtaposed with the sort of dry, acerbic humor that would feel at home on The Office or Parks and Recreation. The film screens at 7 p.m. at Suns Cinema, 3107 Mount Pleasant St. NW. $8. sunscinema.com.

—Will Lennon

ROCK

BLACK CAT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Girlpool.

7:30 p.m. $18–$20. blackcatdc.com.

WORLD

May 11–25 | Opera House Music by Giacomo Puccini Libretto by Luigi Illica and Giuseppe Giacosa Sung in Italian with Projected English Titles.

Casting available at Kennedy-Center.org/wno

Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600

Major support for WNO and Tosca is provided by Jacqueline Badger Mars.

Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

David M. Rubenstein is the Presenting Underwriter of WNO.

Generous support for WNO Italian Opera is provided by Daniel and Gayle D’Aniello.

WNO acknowledges the longstanding generosity of Life Chairman Mrs. Eugene B. Casey.

Unexpected Italy is presented in cooperation with the Embassy of Italy.

WNO's Presenting Sponsor

International programming at the Kennedy Center is made possible through the generosity of the Kennedy Center International Committee on the Arts.

24 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

Japanese Koto Ensemble Concert. 2 p.m. Free. theclarice.umd.edu.

DUKE ELLINGTON SCHOOL OF THE ARTS 3500 R St. NW. (202) 282-0123. Sounds from the Homeland.

6:30 p.m. $60–$80. ellingtonschool.org.

MONDAY CLASSICAL

JAZZ

GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY CENTER FOR THE ARTS 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. (888) 9452468. International Jazz Day Concert with the Mason Jazz Ensemble. 8 p.m. $5–$12. cfa.gmu.edu.

POP

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Julia Jacklin. 8 p.m. $15. dcnine.com.

WEDNESDAY CLASSICAL

MUSIC CENTER AT STRATHMORE 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Washington Performing Arts. 8 p.m. $45–$125. strathmore.org.

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

UMD Percussion Ensemble Concert. 8 p.m. Free. theclarice.umd.edu.

FOLK

JAZZ

JAZZ

GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITY CENTER FOR THE ARTS 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. (888) 9452468. Mason Jazz Vocal Night. 8 p.m. $5–$12. cfa. gmu.edu.

ROCK

SIXTH & I HISTORIC SYNAGOGUE 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Beth Hart. 8 p.m. Sold out. sixthandi.org.

THE HAMILTON 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Della Mae. 7:30 p.m. $14.75–$34.75. thehamiltondc. com.

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Herb Alpert & Lani Hall. 8 p.m. $48–$65. citywinery.com.

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

Outdoor Jazz Showcase. 5:30 p.m. Free. theclarice.umd.edu.

POP

TUESDAY

BARNS AT WOLF TRAP 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Ronnie Spector & The Ronettes. 8 p.m. $50–$55. wolftrap.org.

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Glenn Lewis. 8 p.m. $25–$35. citywinery.com.

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Pops: An Evening with Leslie Odom Jr. 8 p.m. $39–$139. kennedy-center.org.

BLUES

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 25

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

JORJA SMITH AND KALI UCHIS National Symphony Orchestra Pops

Vanessa Williams

Steven Reineke, conductor

Vanessa Williams has conquered Broadway (Into the Woods), television (Ugly Betty), and music charts, selling millions of albums worldwide with hits like “Colors of the Wind” and “Save the Best for Last.” For one night only, the Grammy®, Tony®, and Emmy® Award nominee joins the National Symphony Orchestra for an unforgettable program of pop, R&B, and musical theater favorites!

(202) 467-4600

David M. Rubenstein is the Presenting Underwriter of the NSO.

WORLD ROBERT E. PARILLA PERFORMING ARTS CENTER 51 Mannakee St., Rockville. (240) 567-5301. MC World Ensemble. 7:30 p.m. Free. montgomerycollege.edu/ pac.

THURSDAY CLASSICAL

May 3 & 4 | Concert Hall

Kennedy-Center.org

On the poster for The Kali & Jorja Tour, Kali Uchis and Jorja Smith are arm-in-arm and wear all black, like two “Like a Prayer” cosplayers. It’s a striking portrait of two stylish stars, walking onto a larger stage together. It’s also a continuation of a collaborative relationship that began with “Tyrant,” the Uchis song on which Smith featured. The Colombian-American Uchis sent the song to the English Smith for a verse, and even without sharing a studio, the two became fast friends. “When I met her, we actually ended up becoming good friends and talking shit over wine,” Uchis told Genius, “And, she ended up just being really cool.” That wine-sipping coolness pervades both their personas and discographies, as Uchis reworks retro pop into something decidedly modern and global, while Smith has collaborated with the likes of Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and Stormzy with a vocal style seemingly suited to any mood and moment. On this joint tour, get lost in the collective cool with two of pop’s best prospects. Jorja Smith and Kali Uchis perform at 8 p.m. at The Anthem, 901 Wharf St. SW. $45–$75. (202) 888-0020. theanthemdc.com.

—Chris Kelly

Groups call (202) 416-8400

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

Bach Cantata. 1:30 p.m. Free. theclarice.umd.edu.

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

MUSIC CENTER AT STRATHMORE 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. BSO: An American in Paris. 8 p.m. $35–$90. strathmore.org.

AARP is the Presenting Sponsor of the NSO Pops Season.

COUNTRY

26 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

HILL COUNTRY LIVE 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050.

Adam Carroll and Chris Carroll. 8:30 p.m. $15–$20. hillcountrywdc.com.

JAZZ

MANSION AT STRATHMORE 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Capital Jazz. 7:30 p.m. $30. strathmore.org.

MILKBOY ARTHOUSE 7416 Baltimore Ave, College Park. Alicia Olatuja. 7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $10–$30. milkboyarthouse.com.

TWINS JAZZ 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Joe Policastro Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

OPERA

CLARICE SMITH PERFORMING ARTS CENTER Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 4052787. Opera Scene Study. 7:30 p.m. Free. theclarice. umd.edu.

POP

BARNS AT WOLF TRAP 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Ronnie Spector & The Ronettes. 8 p.m. $50–$55. wolftrap.org.

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Pops: An Evening with Leslie Odom Jr. 7 p.m. $39–$139. kennedy-center.org.

ROCK

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Graham Parker with Adam Ezra. 8 p.m. $25–$35. citywinery.com.

Theater

ANNIE JUMP AND THE LIBRARY OF HEAVEN When small-town teen and science genius Annie Jump meets a new popular girl, she admits that she has great hair. It’s only when Annie discovers this girl might be an intergalactic super computer charged with uniting humanity with the stars that she must make a choice about her own future. Rorschach Theatre at Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To May 19. $50–$80 for a season subscription. (202) 399-7993. rorschachtheatre.com.

THE BECKETT TRIO, PART 2 From Beckett’s “ghost period” comes Ohio Impromptu, the first Beckett drama to showcase a Doppelgänger. Come and Go focuses on a reunion between three childhood friends and the secrets they reveal to one another.

An allegory for the resistance, Catastrophe features a director and his assistant wrestling for control over the direction of one lone actor. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To May 5. $45. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

BROADWAY CENTER STAGE: THE WHO’S TOMMY The five-time Tony Award–winning musical chronicling the tale of pinball wizard Tommy who miraculously triumphs over a childhood experience that left him deaf, dumb, and blind, arrives at the Kennedy Center as a semi-staged concert production. Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To April 28. $69–$199. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

THE BURN Outsider Mercedes and bully Tara are forced together for a high school production of The Crucible. As tensions escalate, a teacher and his students must confront an online witch-hunt. Next Stop Theatre. 269 Sunset Park Drive, Herndon. To May 11. $20–$32. (703) 481-5930. nextstoptheatre.org.

CLOTHES FOR A SUMMER HOTEL Tennessee Williams’ last play to debut on Broadway, Clothes for a Summer Hotel interprets the lives of F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald over the course of several flashbacks to their heyday in the twenties. Presented by the Rainbow Theatre Project. DC Arts Center.

2438 18th St. NW. To April 28. $35. (202) 462-7833. dcartscenter.org.

Take Metrobus and Metrorail to the...

GHOST-WRITER Known for intimate stagings, Quotidian Theatre Company presents a 1919 New York love story about novelist Franklin Woolsey and his typist Myra. When Woolsey dies mid-sentence, Myra continues to tell his story despite attacks from skeptics and his grieving widow. Quotidian Theatre Company at The Writer’s Center. 4508 Walsh St., Bethesda. To April 28. $15–$50. (301) 816-1023. quotidiantheatre.org.

GRAND HOTEL Berlin’s Grand Hotel is the locus of a lavish world in 1928. This lively musical follows the hotel’s collection of guests and staff—including a fading prima ballerina, a fatally ill bookkeeper, a handsome but poor baron, and a typist with dreams of Hollywood fame—as they move through the high life.

Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To May 12. $40–$99. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

INTO THE WOODS Stephen Sondheim’s beloved, Tony-winning musical is a blackly comic medley of well-known fairy tale characters like Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, and Jack (of the Beanstalk). At the heart of the story is The Baker and his Wife, their quest to reverse a witch’s curse and have a child of their own the driving force behind this twisted tale of wish fulfillment and the relationship between parents and children. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To May 22. $27–$81. (202) 347-4833. fords.org.

JUBILEE First organized in 1871 on the Fisk University campus, the Fisk Jubilee Singers—an African American a capella ensemble—triumphed in the face of racism and prejudice in the U.S. and abroad. This a capella musical boasts more than three dozen songs (including spirituals and hymns like “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” and “Wade in the Water”) to bring the enduring legacy of the Singers to life. Arena Stage.

1101 6th St. SW. To June 2. $96–$115. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

JUNK The slick and scheming Robert Merkin prepares to seize power over a manufacturing company in Pulitzer Prize-winning Ayad Akhtar’s latest play inspired by the financial world and junk bond dealings of the 1980s. How far are you willing to go under the pretense of saving America? Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To May 5. $56–$72. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

LOVE’S LABOR’S LOST The King of Navarre and his three compatriots swear off women for three years of focused study and humble fasting in this early Shakespeare comedy. The Princess of France and her ladies render their lofty ambitions precarious; hijinks

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

RASHŌMON

When Rashōmon won the Golden Lion at the 1951 Venice Film Festival, it represented the world’s introduction not just to filmmaker Akira Kurosawa and frequent star Toshiro Mifune but to Japanese cinema. Its story structure is frequently imitated but rarely as effectively: A woodcutter and a priest sheltering from a downpour discuss a confounding court case in which they had both been witnesses. A samurai (Masayuki Mori) traveling with his wife (Machiko Kyō), had been found murdered in the woods.

The wife reports being raped. The accused, a bandit (Mifune), the woman, and the dead samurai speaking through a medium, each tell a contradictory story. The truth is never established.

For Kurosawa it was an entry in his sustained critique of the samurai archetype and associated honor code, but how does the film play in this era of #MeToo? The Sunday screening will include a post-show panel discussion exploring this question. The film screens at 9 p.m. at the AFI Silver Theatre and Cultural Center, 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. $8–$13. (301) 495-6777. afi.com/silver.

—Ian Thal

Tickets at dcjazzfest.org | @dcjazzfest

JUNE 14 – 16, 2019

DC JAZZFEST AT THE WHARF 901 WHARF ST., SW at The Wharf

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The DC Jazz Festival®, a 501(c)(3) non-profit service organization, and its 2019 programs are made possible, in part, with major grants from the Government of the District of Columbia, Muriel Bowser, Mayor; with awards from the National Endowment for the Arts, the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, an agency supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts; the Office of Cable Television, Film, Music & Entertainment; the Office of the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development; and, in part, by major grants from the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, the Galena-Yorktown Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Wells Fargo Foundation, Gillon Family Charitable Fund, the NEA Foundation, Venable Foundation, The Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts, The Max and Victoria Dreyfus Foundation, and the Reva & David Logan Foundation. ©2019 DC Jazz Festival. All rights reserved.

Chained dogs suffer day in and day out.

They endure sweltering temperatures, hunger, and thirst and are vulnerable and lonely. Keep them inside, where it’s safe and comfortable.

Photo: Don Flood (donfloodphoto.com) • Makeup: Mylah Morales, for Celestine Agency Hair: Marcia Hamilton, for Margaret Maldonado Agency • Styling: Natalie and Giolliosa Fuller (sisterstyling.com)

washingtoncitypaper.com april 26, 2019 27

CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

BSO: AN AMERICAN IN PARIS

ANDREA GIBSON

It is hard to think of a more potent antidote to the notion that a poem is something that lives in a dusty book than an Andrea Gibson performance. Although a creator of written poems crafted with love, care, and a razor-sharp wit honed over two decades, Gibson’s linguistic gymnastics are best experienced live. When touring, Gibson recites poems over music, imbuing every syllable with powerful emotions, whether those be love, anger, or a quaking sense of vulnerability. How vulnerable is Gibson? Well, they have a poem in their back pocket that they are ready to whip out at any moment in case stage fright gets the better of them. (Fittingly, the poem is entitled “Ode To The Public Panic Attack.”) Their other poems ruminate on politics, heartache, life as a genderqueer person and, often, all those subjects at once. At their performance at 9:30 Club, Gibson will be joined by fellow poet Megan Falley with whom the poet co-authored How Poetry Can Change Your Heart. The book examines the ways that all kinds of people can discover the power of poetry. Andrea Gibson performs at 7 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $25. (202) 2650930. 930.com.

—Will Lennon

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

THE BRIGHT LIGHT SOCIAL HOUR

On new album Jude Vol. 1, art rock group The Bright Light Social Hour reveal for us a well painted sonic piece, imbued with alternative and new wave rock. It confronts the group’s grief stemming from the loss of Alex O’Brien, the band manager and brother of bassist and singer Jackie O’Brien, who took his own life in 2015. The album bears Alex’s middle name, Jude. Nebulous and atmospheric, its songs face the rift between here and the hereafter.

The group released a visualizer for its full album on YouTube—the soothing, constantly flowing kaleidoscopic artwork is as psychedelic as the music itself, featuring rainbow-stained fractal loops. It provides the perfect backdrop to trippy standout songs like “Give To Me Words” and “Swimming Out.” Jude Vol. 1 includes seven tracks, lasting just over 30 minutes of listening time.

If you’re looking for bittersweet catharsis, there is hardly a better way to spend half an hour. The Bright Light Social Hour perform at 8 p.m. at Songbyrd Music House, 2477 18th St. NW. $15. (202) 450-2917. songbyrddc.com.

—Tori Nagudi 28 april 26, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

It’s post-World War II Paris and love is in the air––as are the pirouetting feet of a beaming Leslie Caron in Vincente Minnelli’s musical masterpiece An American in Paris. This Thursday at Strathmore, experience the jazz stylings of George Gershwin’s energetic score, as directed by Baltimore Symphony Orchestra conductor Jack Everly, while you watch our central lovers Jerry and Lise cavort around the City of Lights. Caron is Lise Bouvier, a French dancer who bewitches struggling American artist Jerry (played by Gene Kelly, the golden boy of Hollywood musicals).

She is involved with one of Jerry’s friends, but fortunately that’s nothing a romantic dance by the Seine, nor the swooning strings of “'S Wonderful,” can’t overcome. Almost 70 years later, MGM’s Technicolor tour-de-force endures on the merits of that 17-minute dance climax alone. The Rockies may crumble and Gibraltar may tumble but, with any luck, the effervescent artistry of An American in Paris is here to stay. The show begins at 8 p.m. at The Music Center at Strathmore, 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. $35–$90. (301) 581-5100. strathmore.org.

—Amy Guay and affairs of the heart ensue. Folger Shakespeare Library. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To June 9. $42–$79. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.

THE ORESTEIA A new version of the only surviving Greek tragedy, The Oresteia poetically combines the works of Aeschylus to tell the ten year tale of grief and murder that characterizes the interlocking lives of Queen Clytemnestra, her husband Agamemnon, and Orestes. Shakespeare Theatre Company Studios.

610 F Street NW. To June 30. $44–$118. 202-547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

OSLO Based on the true events surrounding the 1993 Oslo Peace Accords, the play that swept the 20162017 awards season illuminates the Norwegian husband-wife duo who assembled a team from the Middle East to negotiate peace between Israelis and Palestinians. Shrouded in secrecy and with international tensions mounting, the diplomats rely on empathy and personal connection. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To May 19. $50–$71. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org.

P.Y.G. OR THE MIS-EDUMACATION OF DORIAN BELLE White Canadian pop heartthrob Dorian Belle hires black Chicagoan hip-hop artists Black and Alexand to lend him clout on reality TV. Inspired by the culture clash of Shaw’s Pygmalion. Studio Theatre.

1501 14th St. NW. To April 28. $20–$55. (202) 3323300. studiotheatre.org.

SPUNK A Guitar Man and Blues Speak Woman intertwine three stories of the black experience in early 20th century America (based on short stories by Zora Neale Hurston) to illustrate the endurance of the human spirit. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To June 23. $40–$85. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

STOMP Stomp’s eight-member troupe uses matchboxes, wooden poles, brooms, garbage cans, Zippo lighters, and hubcaps to produce provocative, percussive rhythms. Sections have been updated and restructured, utilizing props like tractor tire inner tubes and paint cans. National Theatre. 1321 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. To April 28. $45–$69. (202) 628-6161. nationaltheatre.org.

THE WHITE SNAKE A snake spirit transforms into a woman in order to experience the human world and falls in love with a pharmacist’s assistant, only to have her newfound happiness threatened by a narrow-minded monk. Adapted from an ancient Chinese fable, The White Snake is a resonant romance and magic adventure story that deals in themes of loyalty, kindness, and redemption. Constellation Theatre at Source. 1835 14th St. NW. To May 26. $15–$45. (202) 204-7741. constellationtheatre.org.

THE WOLVES A finalist for the 2017 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, The Wolves follows nine teenage girls who make up the titular indoor soccer team as they warm up for practice each week. Overlapping dialogue and broader, group-wide conversations shed light on the thorny and universal dynamics of growing up. George Mason University. 4400 University Drive, Fairfax. To April 28. $10–$20. (703) 993-1000. gmu.edu.

Film

AVENGERS: ENDGAME Following the decimation at the end of Avengers: Infinity War, Marvel’s heroes assemble once again to reverse the damage, save the planet from ruins, and defeat Thanos for good.

Starring Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, and Scarlett Johansson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) BREAKTHROUGH When her adopted son drowns in an icy Missouri lake, a mother prays for his recovery from the brink of death in the face of steep odds.

Starring Chrissy Metz, Topher Grace, and Josh Lucas.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA After ignoring the ominous warning of a troubled mother, a social worker and her children encounter the wrath of a legendary ghost. Starring Linda Cardellini, Raymond Cruz, and Patricia Velasquez. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) HIGH LIFE A man and his daughter, survivors of a dangerous mission to space, fight for their lives as they hurtle toward a black hole. Starring Robert Pattinson, Juliette Binoche, and André Benjamin. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) PENGUINS Ed Helms narrates this documentary about a penguin who searches to find a partner and start a family in the Antarctic. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) UNDER THE SILVER LAKE After a young man sees a mysterious woman swimming in his apartment pool, she disappears, setting him off on a journey to find her and uncover other bizarre mysteries. Starring Andrew Garfield, Riley Keough, and Topher Grace.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

SAVAGELOVE M DOOGALS THE FAMOUS

C

My best friend’s father is an avid user of social media. He’s retired and spends most of his day posting memes on Facebook and Instagram. Recently, I realized he might not know how Instagram works. I noticed over the past week or so that he has been following, liking, and commenting on a lot of Instagram pictures of young gay men. I don’t think he realizes that anyone who follows him can see that activity. At first I was worried, not because he might be gay or bisexual, but because he may still be “in the closet.” He’s married, with a son (my friend), and to my knowledge, if he is bisexual or gay, nobody knows. I thought about warning him that his activity is public, but then I saw more. Not only has he been liking pictures of younger looking men, he’s also been liking and following accounts of very young boy models. Underage boys. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but the evidence is there. So now I’ve gone from wanting to warn this guy that he may be accidentally outing himself by not knowing how apps work to feeling morally obligated to tell my friend that his dad is into dudes and might be a pedophile. I can only imagine the ramifications this news would have on him and his family.

—Best Friend’s Dad “I’m sympathetic to BFD’s concerns,” said Dr. Michael Seto, director of forensic rehabilitation research at the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group and an expert on pedophilia and sexual offending. “I know many people wonder what to do if they suspect someone is sexually attracted to children. And I understand how much of a burden it can feel like to keep a big secret, especially from a best friend.”

But before we discuss your options and responsibilities here, BFD, let’s get our terms straight: If by “young boy models” you mean teenage boys past puberty but under the age of consent, then your friend’s father’s behavior is icky and inappropriate—but it is not, by itself, evidence that he’s a pedophile.

“Clinically, pedophilia refers to attraction to prepubescent children,” said Dr. Seto, “though I know it’s still commonly used in public to refer to attraction to anyone underage.”

Actually, the term “pedophile” gets tossed around so indiscriminately these days that some of my own readers have used it to describe (or condemn) people in their 40s or 50s who are attracted to (or fucking) grown men and women in their 20s and 30s. For the record: An attraction to younger/youngish adults does not make someone a pedophile. If that were the case, almost everyone on earth could be described (and condemned) as a pedophile.

Dr. Seto estimates that just 1 percent of men are in fact attracted to prepubescent children.

So depending on your point of view—depending on whether you’re a glass 99 percent empty or 1 percent full kind of guy—pedophilia is ei-

ther exceedingly rare or alarmingly common.

“Attraction to underage teens—boys or girls—is more common,” said Dr. Seto, “though it’s hard to estimate how common because it’s a taboo subject. We get hints from the popularity of certain porn genres like ‘schoolgirl,’ ‘twink,’ ‘barely legal,’ and so on.

We also have a hint from how so many fashion models begin working in their teens.”

But Dr. Seto emphasizes that sexual attraction does not equal sexual behavior.

“The Instagram follows and likes may indeed suggest an attraction to underage boys,” said Dr. Seto. “And it may even be pedophilia if the models are that young. But that doesn’t mean his friend’s father is going to do anything beyond following or liking.”

Understanding what separates pedophiles who’ve offended against children (read: pedophiles who’ve sexually abused children) from pedophiles who’ve never inappropriately touched a child is an important focus of Dr. Seto’s research, BFD, and his insights could inform your course of action.

“One thing we know is that people who are low in self-control are more likely to act on sexual as well as nonsexual impulses,” said Dr. Seto. “That low self-control shows up in other ways, including addictions, problems holding down a job, problems in adult relationships, unreliability, and criminal behavior. My hypothesis is that someone who doesn’t show these signs is unlikely to offend against a child.

They might look at child pornography, though, which is illegal and problematic, or they might look at legal images of children—like on social media—as a sexual outlet.”

Viewing child pornography is hugely problematic because it creates demand for more child pornography, which leads to more children being abused. But even if no new child porn were ever created, sharing images of the rape of a child is itself a violation of that child.

And while it may not be pleasant to contemplate what might be going through a pedophile’s mind when they look at innocent images of children, it’s not against the law for someone with a sexual interest in children to dink around on Instagram.

“Returning to BFD’s question about whether to disclose, I don’t think it’s an easy yes-or-no answer,” said Dr. Seto. “It depends on what else BFD knows about the father. I’m required by law and professional ethics to report [someone] if I believe an identifiable child is at imminent risk. This mandatory reporting requirement is NOT triggered simply by knowing whether someone is sexually attracted to children. Instead, I have to consider information like whether the person has ever expressed fantasies or urges about a specific child, whether they

work with children regularly, whether they live with children who are in their attraction category, or whether they have ever engaged in suspicious behavior like direct messaging with a child.”

Does your friend’s dad work with underage boys? Does he sometimes look after underage boys—say, grandsons? Do they have sleepovers with friends at grandpa’s house?

Has he ever behaved in an inappropriate manner around underage boys—e.g., inventing reasons to be alone with them, offering them booze or drugs, or making suggestive comments offline or online?

“In the absence of these kinds of red flags, what we have here is someone who might be sexually attracted to underage boys but who might not pose a serious risk to children,” explained Dr. Seto. “So while not disclosing might mean some risk of a child being harmed, disclosing could definitely cause harm to the best friend, to the father, and to their relationship.”

You’re in an agonizing position, BFD. You essentially have to weigh the chance—most likely very remote—that your friend’s dad would harm a child against the near certainty that telling your friend about his father’s behavior would do irrevocable harm to their relationship. Your relationship with your friend would also be at risk; this is definitely one of those circumstances where the messenger risks being shot. Figuratively speaking. I hope.

Personally, BFD, in your shoes, I would err on the side of protecting even a hypothetical child. I would say something to the dad, perhaps via direct message (you could create a throwaway account and reach out anonymously), and I would also say something to my friend. But I would emphasize what the best available research tells us about pedophilia: It’s not something a person chooses, and most pedophiles never sexually abuse children. (And not everyone who sexually abuses a child is a pedophile.) So even if your best friend’s father is attracted to prepubescent boys—if he’s looking at prepubescent children and not teenagers who happen to be just under the age of consent—that doesn’t mean he’s harmed a child or would ever harm a child. He may need help to avoid offending—if, worstcase scenario, he actually is attracted to children—and being held accountable by loved ones is one way pedophiles avoid offending.

Dr. Seto is the author of Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children: Theory, Assessment, and Intervention and other titles. Follow him on Twitter @MCSeto. —Dan Savage Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net

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Personal Training – not be considered. support students on daily Apartments basis for sports for Rent program 4. Teacher Staffing – teacher recruitment services for school year 2019-2020 5. Speech Therapy – provide services to students with an individualized educational program Must see! Spacious semi-furQuestions and proposals nishedbe 1 e-mailed BR/1 BA basement may to apt, Deanwood, $1200. Sep. engizurieta@latinpcs.org trance,the W/Wtype carpet, kitchwith of W/D, service en, fireplace near Blue Line/X9/ in the subject line.

V2/V4. Shawnn 240-343-7173.

Deadline for submissions is COB May 8 Rooms for Rent 2019. No phone calls please.

Holiday Special- Two furE-mailrooms is the nished forpreferred short or long method respondterm rentalfor ($900 and $800 per ing butwith you access can also month) to W/D, WiFi, Kitchen,arrive and Den. mail (must

by Utilities included.proposals Best N.E. location deadline) and along H St. Corridor.

Call Eddie supporting documents 202-744-9811 for info. or visit to the following address: www.TheCurryEstate.com Washington Latin Public Charter School Attn: Finance Office 5200 2 nd Street NW Washington, DC 20011 E.L. Haynes Public Charter School REQUEST FOR PRO-

POSALS Construction/Labor General Construction Services E.L. Haynes Public Charter School (“ELH”) is seeking proposals from qualified vendors toHIRPOWER DESIGN NOW provide professional ING ELECTRICAL APPRENTICES OFservices ALL SKILL painting forLEVour ELS! schools this summer.

E.L. Haynes Public Charabout the position… ter School is seeking Do you love working with proposals from qualified your hands? Are you intervendors provide and ested in toconstruction a in variety of general becoming an electrician? contracting services this Then the electrical apprentice summer at our middle position could be perfect for school campusapprentices located you! Electrical able Georgia to earn a paycheck atare 3600 Ave, and All full work benefi tsmust while learnNW. be ing the tradebetween through fiJune rstcompleted hand experience.

17, 2019 and July 24, 2019. what we’re looking for…

Proposals areresidents due via Motivated D.C. who email to learn Kristin want to the Yochum electrical notrade later than 5:00 PM and have a high school ondiploma Friday, 17,well as or May GED as reliable transportation.

2019.

We will notify the final a little bitofabout us… and vendor selection Power Design is to onebe of the schedule work top electrical contractors in completed. The RFP with the U.S., committed to our bidding values, torequirements training and to givcan by ing be backobtained to the communities contacting: in which we live and work.

Kristin Yochum moreHaynes details…Public CharE.L. Visit powerdesigninc.us/ ter School careers or email careers@ Phone: 202.667-4446 powerdesigninc.us! ext 3504 Email: kyochum@ elhaynes.org

Financial Services

SUPERIOR COURT Denied Credit??

Work toOF ReOF THE DISTRICT pair Your Credit Report With The COLUMBIA Trusted Leader in Credit Repair.

PROBATE DIVISION Call Lexington Law for a FREE 2019 ADM 000314 credit summary & credit Namereport of Decerepair consultation. 855-620dent, James Edward 9426. John C. Heath, Attorney at Jackson-Bey. Notice ofLaw Law, PLLC, dba Lexington Appointment, Notice Firm. to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Home Services Kimberly CampbellOyesola, whose address Dish Network-Satellite Teleis 19213 Aquasco vision Services. Now Over 190 Road, Brandywine, MD channels for ONLY $49.99/mo!

20613 was HBO-FREE for appointed one year, FREE Personal Representative Installation, FREE Streaming, of the estate of James FREE HD. Add Internet for $14.95 Jackson-Bey aEdward month. 1-800-373-6508 who died on January 13, 2019, without a Will

and will serve without Auctions Court Supervision.

All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. Whole Foods Commissary Auctionon or before Oc20001, DC Metro Area tober 11, 2019. Claims Dec. 5 atthe 10:30AM against decedent 1000s Tables, Carts shall be S/S presented to & Trays, 2016 Kettles up the undersigned with a to 200 Gallons, Urschel copy to the Register of Cutters & Shredders inWills or to2016 the Register cluding Diversacut of2110 WillsDicer, with6aChill/Freeze copy to the undersigned, Cabs, Double Rack on Ovens Ranges,October (12) Braising or&before 11, Tables,or2016 (3+) Stephan 2019, be forever VCMs, 30+ Scales, barred. Persons believed 80 or qtlegatees Mixers, toHobart be heirs Complete Machine Shop, of the decedent who and much more! View the docatalog not receive a copy at ofwww.mdavisgroup.com this notice by mail or within 25 days of its 412-521-5751 publication shall so inform the Register of Garage/Yard/ Wills, including name, Rummage/Estate Sales address and relationship. first publiFlea Date Marketof every Fri-Sat cation: 10am-4pm.4/11/2019 5615 Landover Rd. Name of Newspaper Cheverly, MD. 20784. Can buy and/or periodical: in bulk. Contact 202-355-2068 Washington Paper/ or 301-772-3341City for details or if intrestedWashington in being a vendor.

Daily Law Reporter Name of Personal Representative: Kimberly Campbell-Oyesolar TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: April 11, 18, 25.

E.L. Haynes Public Charter School REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Painting Services E.L. Haynes Public Charter School (“ELH”) is seeking proposals from qualified vendors to provide professional painting services for our schools this summer.

Painting will include, but not be limited to: 22

classrooms, 2 stairwells (basementMiscellaneous to 6), 8 hallways, the gymnasium NEW COOPERATIVE SHOP! (which will require a lift) and 4 offices/conference FROM EGPYT THINGS rooms. All work must AND BEYOND be completed between 240-725-6025 June 17, 2019 and July www.thingsfromegypt.com 24, 2019. thingsfromegypt@yahoo.com Proposals are due via email KristinBAZAAR Yochum SOUTHto AFRICAN Craftlater Cooperative no than 5:00 PM 202-341-0209 on Friday, May 17, www.southafricanbazaarcraftcoo 2019. perative.com We will notify the final southafricanba z a ar @hotmail. vendor of selection and com schedule work to be completed.

The RFP with WEST FARM WOODWORKS bidding requirements Custom Creative Furniture can be obtained by 202-316-3372 info@westfarmwoodworks.com contacting: www.westfarmwoodworks.com Kristin Yochum E.L. Haynes Public Char7002 Carroll ter School Avenue Takoma Park, MD 20912 Phone: 202.667-4446 Mon-Sat 11am-7pm, ext 3504 Sun 10am-6pm Email: kyochum@ elhaynes.org Motorcycles/Scooters SUPERIOR COURT 2016 Suzuki TU250X for sale.

1200THE miles.DISTRICT CLEAN. JustOF serOF viced. Comes with bike cover COLUMBIA and saddlebags.

Asking $3000 PROBATE DIVISION Cash only.

2019 ADM 000315 Call 202-417-1870 M-F between Name of Decedent, 6-9PM, or weekends.

Carolyn J. Harrison.

Notice of Appointment, Bands/DJs for Hire Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Daniel A Harrison, whose address is 16410 Edgepark Ct, Bowie, MD 20716 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Carolyn J. Harrison who died on 2/6/19, with a Will Get Wit Productions: Profesand willItserve without sional sound and lightingAllavailCourt Supervision. able for club, corporate, private, unknown heirs and heirs wedding whereabouts receptions, holiday whose events and much more. Insured, are unknown shall competitive rates. Call (866) 531enter appear6612 Exttheir 1, leave message for a ance in this proceedten-minute call back, or book oning. to such line at:Objections agetwititproductions.com appointment shall be filed withAnnouncements the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building Announcements - Hey, all you 3rd lovers of erotic and bizarre A, Floor, Washingromantic fi ction!

Visit www. ton, D.C. 20001, on or nightlightproductions.club and before 10/11/19. Claims submit yourthe stories to me Happy against decedent Holidays! James K. West shall be presented to wpermanentwink@aol.com the undersigned with a

copy to the Register of Events Wills or to the Register of Wills with a copy to Christmas in Silver Spring the undersigned, on or Saturday, December 2, 2017 before 10/11/19, or be Veteran’s Plaza forever barred. Persons 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. believed to be heirs or in Come celebrate Christmas legatees theSpring decedent the heart of of Silver at our who not on receive a PlaVendordo Village Veteran’s copy of will thisbenotice by arts za. There shopping, mail within 25 days and crafts for kids, picturesofwith Santa, music and shall entertainment its publication so to spread the holiday cheer andof more. inform Register Proceeds from the market Wills, including name, will provide a “wish” toy for children address and relationin need. Join us at your one stop ship. Date of first publishop for everything Christmas. cation: For more4/11/2019 information, contact Name Futsum, of Newspaper and/or periodical: info@leadersinstitutemd.org or Washington City Paper/ call 301-655-9679 Daily Washington Law General Reporter Name of Personal RepLooking to Rent Daniel yard space resentative: A for hunting dogs. Alexandria/ArlingHarrison ton, VA area only. Medium sized TRUE TEST copy dogs will be well-maintained in Anne Meister temperature controled dog housRegister of Willsanimal care es. I have advanced Pub Dates: 11,be rid experience and April dogs will 18, free of25. feces, flies, urine and oder.

Dogs will be in a ventilated kennel so theyHaynes will not be exposed E.L. Publicto winter and harshSchool weather etc. Space Charter will be needed as soon as possiREQUEST FOR PROble. Yard for dogs must be Metro POSALS accessible. Serious callers only, Event Catering call anytime Kevin, Services 415- 8465268. Price Neg. E.L. Haynes Public Charter School (“ELH”) is Counseling seeking proposals from qualified is MAKE THEvendors CALL TOELH START seeking a qualified GETTING CLEAN TODAY.venFree 24/7 to Helpline for alcohol & drug dor provide for cateraddiction help! It ing and treatment. furnitureGetrental is time to take back! Call services foryour ourlife15th Now: 855-732-4139 Anniversary Event.

Bidders be on Adopthe Pregnant?must Considering approved for tion? Call us vendor first. Livinglist expenses, housing, medical, and continthe National Museum of ued support afterwards.

Choose Women in the Arts. adoptive family of your choice.

Proposals are due via Call 24/7.to877-362-2401. email Kristin Yochum no later than 5:00 PM on Friday, May 10, 2019.

We will notify the final vendor of selection and schedule work to be completed. The RFP with bidding requirements can be obtained by contacting: Kristin Yochum E.L. Haynes Public Charter School

PUZZLE ROUND TRIPS

By Brendan Emmett Quigley

26 Pre-meal prayer 27 Fountain order 31 Big name in food service 32 In the ___ one's stomach (deep down) 33 Biology class abbr.

34 Out of sorts?

35 Rumble 36 Eye sores 38 Pooped 39 Restaurant freebie 43 Hear 44 "This has never been done before!"

45 Like a dog or a boy scout 46 When to wrap up lunch?

47 Tot's wheels 48 Include 49 Adam's madam 50 Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy 53 Beaver's work 54 Samuel's mentor 55 NBA star Jeremy 56 Police blotter inits.

57 Turn thumbs down 58 Browns on the scoreboard 59 Golf legend Ernie

Across

1 Musical staff leader 6 Snarky laugh 10 Pal 13 "Me too" 14 Fry in a pan 15 Collagen target 16 ... for a den mother?

18 Orangutan, e.g.

19 Coal miner's car 20 Prayer's ending 21 .... chessmaster?

28 Crying 29 Helen of ___ 30 Scott of Happy Days 31 Magazine feature 34 Mornings, for short 37 .... interior designer?

40 "Frailty, ___ name is woman!"

(Hamlet) 41 Billionaire's home 42 Unctuous 43 ___ Bell (fast food chain) 44 A Delicate Balance playwright Edward 45 ... exterminator?

50 Pay (up) 51 Sitar master Shankar 52 Reply to a captain 53 ... midwife?

60 Space between teeth 61 Identical 62 Special ability 63 Spreading tree 64 Greedy cry 65 Election year issue

14 Billet-doux acronym 17 Before, poetically 20 Poehler of Parks and Recreation 21 Being pitched to 22 Fido's line 23 Flock 24 Drop ___ (moon someone) 25 A-bomb trial

Down

LAST WEEK: ROUND TRIPS

1 Guy's date 2 TV forensic drama 3 GPS fig.

4 911 responder 5 Really dirty 6 Supermodel Campbell 7 "Dee-lish!"

8 Southwest Indian 9 Documentary filmmaker Burns 10 Kind of game 11 Mature 12 Receptive

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Phone: 202.667-4446 ext 3504 Email: kyochum@ elhaynes.org SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2019 ADM 000283 Name of Decedent, Eddie Charles Lowery.

Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Cheryl A. Lowery, whose address is 5906 87th Avenue, New Carrollton, MD 20784 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Eddie Charles Lowery who died on June 10, 2018, with a Will and will serve without Court Supervision.

All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 10/11/19. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or to the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 10/11/19, or be forever barred. Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship. Date of first publication: 4/11/2019 Name of Newspaper and/or periodical: Washington City Paper/ Daily Washington Law Reporter Name of Personal Representative: Cheryl A. Lowery TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: April 11, 18, 25.

KIPP DC PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOLS REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Special Education Evaluations Services

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+ $ /

0 ( 6 : + 7 + ( , 2 6 ) 2 ) 6 , + 0 3 2 0 5 2 7 1 , 1 2 7 7

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7 2 0 $ 5 $ 3 < 5 $ 2 $ 6 0 $ / ( 0 5 2 $ 1

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KIPP DC is soliciting proposals from qualified vendors for Speech Language, Psychological, Educational, and Occupational Evaluations Services. The RFP can be found on KIPP DCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s website at www. kippdc.org/procurement.

Proposals should be uploaded to the website no later than 5:00 PM EST, on May 7, 2019.

Questions can be addressed to dana.lourie@ kippdc.org.

DC SCHOLARS PCS - INTENT TO ENTER SOLE SOURCE CONTRACTS â&#x20AC;&#x201C; DC Scholars Public Charter School intends to enter

into the following sole source contracts in SY 2019-20, if the service agreements exceed $25,000: Reading Partners for Individualized Reading Intervention Services; Urban Teachers for Resident Teacher Recruitment and Training; Open Up Resources for EL Curriculum; Achievement Network for Assessment Platform and Instructional Coaching Support; and Kay-Twelve for Classroom and Office Furniture. All contracts will be awarded at close of business on May 16, 2019, pending successful negotiations. If you have questions, contact Emily Stone at CommunitySchools@dcscholars. org no later than 5:00 pm on May 6, 2019.

Two bedroom townhouse, 3418 9th Street NE, Brookland/ CUA Red Line Metro, 1block away.

New renovation, hardwood floors, large rear deck, washer/dryer, available May 1, Shopping, restaurants, very close by. $1300 each, wi-Fi and cable included.

Tenants pay electric only. Lavinia Wohlfarth, laviniawohlfarth@aol. com, 202-297-1125 text or cell

$1500 Private Studio Apartment in Home (Kensington, MD) Beautifully renovated private studio apartment/efficiency now available in Kensington, MD: -- Private entrance -- Street parking -- All utilities included (water, trash, electric, cable, internet/WiFi) -- Washer and dryer in-unit -- Large walk-in closet with extra space for storage -- Lots of natural lighting -- Outdoor space This apartment is located within a singlefamily home in the quiet community of Kensington just minutes from I-495, grocery stores, restaurants, and parks.

-- Pets are not permitted -- Unfurnished space -- Non-smoking residence -- Refundable $500.00 security deposit required for move-in -- 12 month lease Contact Michael Guercin, 301-343-7367

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The U.S.-Azerbaijan Chamber of Commerce seeks a Liaison to promote the image of Azerbaijan as a trade and investment destiny for the U.S. Min. Ed. Bachelorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Intâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;l Relations and 2 yrs. exp. Job loc. in Washington DC. Send resumes to Elmira Aghayeva at eaghayeva@usaac.org Contractor needed for renovations to bathroom, kitchen, basement, roof work and Hardwood floors.

Call 301-383-4504 Would you like to work in the BEST NAIL SALON IN DC? Varnish Lane is hiring NAIL TECHNICIANS to join our team. And if you do NAIL DESIGN is even better!

We offer a great and loyal clientele, that tips generously. And also COMPETITIVE PAY and Incentive programs. www.varnishlane.com Instagram @varnishlane Contact us for more information at: hello@varnishlane.com (202) 506 5308 Flyer Distributors Needed Monday-Friday and weekends. We drop you off to distribute the flyers. NW, Bethesda, Silver Spring, Wheaton. $9/hr. 240-715-7874 Wholistic Services, Inc. is looking for dedicated individuals to work as Direct Support Professionals assisting intellectually disabled adults with behavioral health issues in our group homes and day services throughout the District of Columbia.

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