Washington City Paper (July 29, 2016)

CITYPAPER Washington

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THE KING OF ASHBURN THE LIFE AND MURDER OF A VIRGINIA CON MAN

BY WILL SOMMER

ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEPHANIE RUDIG

2 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

INSIDE

14 theking ofashburn

M I D C I T Y D O G D A Y S

The life and murder of a con man

By Will Sommer Illustrations by Stephanie Rudig

4 Chatter DistriCt Line

7 Cash Out? Advocates say needy families face a funding cliff.

9 Concrete Details: Why the Air and Space museum should just start over 10 Gear Prudence 11 Unobstructed View 12 Savage Love 13 Buy D.C.

D.C. FeeD

19 Young & Hungry: When restaurants embarrass themselves on social media 23 Grazer: Chefs and their power songs 23 The ’Wiching Hour: The Proscuitto from Bozzelli’s Italian Deli 23 Brew in Town: Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc

arts

25 Galleries: At VisArts in Rockville, two exhibitions showcase young talent.

27 Curtains: Johnson on Born For This: The BeBe Winans Story and Lyons on Riches

28 Short Subjects: Olszewski on Nerve and Gittell on Jason Bourne

City List

31 City Lights: Boris celebrates 10 years of its seminal album Pink at the 9:30 Club.

31 Music 36 Books 36 Theater 37 Film

38 CLassiFieDs Diversions 39 Crossword

“They should put your balls on display at the Smithsonian.”

—Page 14

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CHATTER Odd Job

In which readers gag over gigs

Darrow MontgoMery

ReadeR Response to Laura Hayes’ report on professionals who pick up restaurant work just for the fun of it (“Hobby Jobby,” July 22) voiced a concern that They were taking away Our jobs, more or less. As ohellomisskitty wrote on Reddit, “So they’re ...taking jobs from people that actually need them?” @LoganDobson agreed, tweeting “if you want to ~be a part of the DC food scene~, go eat out a lot and tip your waitstaff really well. don’t take their job.” @jamesggilmore tweeted that this habit is “Pure selfishness: ‘Hobby jobby’ yuppies driving down wages & taking jobs away from people who need them to survive,” although we found no evidence that hobby jobbies drive down wages per se, or even that they’re paid differently. Back on Reddit, LaFugazzeta offers a counterpoint, kind of: “I wouldn’t consider it ‘taking’ jobs from other people. They may just be better employees to hire versus others with a worse work ethic or poor customer service.” So pretty much a jobbyist is a better worker than someone who needs the paycheck? We’re crying foul on this theory. What about maryloo7877 , who worked elsewhere because her day job was such a snooze? “I recently quit my part time weekend job at a bridal salon, but I took it on in the first place because I felt a part of myself unfulfilled. I actually have quite an awesome/non traditional full time job Monday-Friday, but I felt like there were other interests and passions that weren’t being met. Sometimes you don’t need a job JUST for the money, you need it because it makes you feel more fulfilled and like you’re doing the most with your time. This worked out for me since I was a newlywed with no kids.” But craigpartin pretty much summed up our feelings on the matter, and maybe it’s just because we’re touched with laziness. “Only in Washington DC would getting a second job be called a hobby.” Hey, if you want to work part-time for very little money in a highly fulfilling, demanding profession that sounds super cool when you describe it to others at a cocktail party, try your hand at freelance writing. Send your best pitches to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.

—Emily Q. Hazzard Want to see your name in bold on this page? Send letters, gripes, clarification, or praise to editor@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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Tomorrow’s History Today: This was the week Metro GM Paul Wiedefeld proposed ending late-night rail service permanently, which justifiably prompted the restaurant industry and others to call it a “terrible idea” whose devastating impact “cannot be ignored.”

DistrictLine Cash Out?

Advocates say a looming loss of cash assistance could have a devastating effect on thousands of local kids. receive, and proposed to cut them off entirely after a few years. That deadline has been pushed several times, most recently during this spring’s budget negotiations. An October 2017 deadline now looms.

Currently, a family of three that has been on TANF for more than five years receives a

It’s an early July day in a government building in Anacostia, and dozens of women are cutting images out of magazines to make “vision boards.” Among them is Taquisha Branch, a single mother of two boys—one four years old, the other five months.

Councilmember Brianne Nadeau Since coming to D.C. 10 years has introduced a bill to keep famiago, Branch has struggled with lies from falling off the TANF cliff. homelessness and spent time in a shelter. “Life since then has been kind of rough,” she says. “I find myself up and down. One minute I can be doing fine, and then the next minute it feels like I’m not doing so good.”

Today is a good one. Branch is at a training for a job placement program known as LEAP (Learn Earn Advance Proposer) for people who receive cash through Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF). It gives these women a shot at a District-funded internship with the city or a private company, which in turn offers them a chance to earn a permanent position.

The program prioritizes applicants who use rapid rehousing vouchers to pay their rent, who are employed but still require TANF money to make ends meet, or who have been on TANF for more than five maximum of $154 a month—cash they need years. That last point is key, as the District is de- to pay bills or buy school uniforms. The averbating how much money—if any—these low-in- age TANF family is headed by a single womcome families should get once they hit the 60- an in her early 20s who has two children under the age of 10. month mark.

It’s these young children, advocates say, who As of December 2015, 15,889 D.C. residents were receiving monthly cash payments through will be hurt by a complete loss of TANF once TANF. Just over 6,200 of those recipients, with their parents have reached the aid ceiling.

“The research is just so very, very clear,” about 13,000 children between them, had been says Judith Sandalow, executive direcdoing so for more than five years.

In 2011, the District instituted a time lim- tor of the Children’s Law Center. “We know it, which reduced the benefits those families their lives will be worse. That’s not just bad for

them, it’s bad for the whole community.”

The District also requires most TANF recipients to participate in job training or placement programs. More than 11,400 were eligible for these programs, run by outside nonprofits and private vendors, as of the end of last year. But in fiscal year 2015, 56 percent of people assigned

Darrow Montgomery

By Sarah Anne Hughes

Security Services, McDonald’s, Walmart, and grocery stores.

The D.C. Department of Human Services is in the midst of a TANF revamp. Just last year, some recipients had to wait several months or even a year to be connected to an employment vendor. That wait time is now effectively eliminated as DHS continues to increase the number of people these vendors can serve.

Some of those additional slots are in LEAP. Unlike work readiness and job placement programs to which aid recipients are assigned, LEAP involves an application process and is only open to candidates with a high school diploma and basic computer skills. Originally, applicants had to write a short essay on a question that contains some of Mayor Muriel Bowser’s most treasured and enduring jargon: “How will participating in L.E.A.P. help me reach a pathway to the middle class?”

The program began in March 2015, and three groups have completed the training process, in which participants learn interview skills, hear about workplace expectations, network, and receive childcare and transportation help.

It includes “anything that can prevent or be a challenge to being successful,” says Tamitha Christian of the Office of Work Opportunity at DHS. The goal is to address problems before they’re hired. If problems do arise, DHS serves as a quasi HR department, Christian says. “We’re screening customers, making sure they’re good matches, and we’re providing [employers] with supports.”

To begin, the program offered those who completed training the chance to interview for a 12-month paid internship with a D.C. government agency. Of 51 participants, 20 were hired into permanent positions and four had their internships extended.

A fourth group is currently preparing to interview for one of 30 paid internships, this time with private employers recruited by D.C.’s Department of Employment Services for up to six months. Among them are 10 security positions with AlliedBarton and 10 health care navigator positions with the D.C. Primary Care Association.

Branch’s interest was piqued by the latter because she’s a certified medical assistant and

to one did not complete their required hours.

The barriers to compliance are numerous and complex (child care, mental health needs, problems with a vendor, etc.) And even those who find a job may not be in it for long: A D.C. Auditor analysis found that, of the more than 6,000 TANF recipients placed in jobs between February 2012 and October 2014, just 770 were still in those positions after six months. Low wages and part-time hours are also an issue: The companies that employ the most TANF recipients, the auditor found, are AlliedBarton

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 7

DistrictLine phlebotomist who once worked at a pediatric ment from Southeastern University, and she medical office in Oxon Hill, Maryland. Branch, was getting her master’s degree in 2008 when who’s received TANF money for three years, she became pregnant with her first child, desays she has looked for work in the D.C. area spite being told she would never be able to conceive. only to hear “no, nothing’s available.”

Russell left school, then lost her job as a “It gets overwhelming at times, because...

I’m doing it all on my own,” she says. “I try to management analyst in 2012. “I didn’t need be resourceful, as much as possible. I try to assistance for a while,” she says, adding that go around and speak with a lot of people so she had saved well and lived off that money I can get as much help as I need. I’m very in- for a time. “It’s been hard.”

But Russell is quick to list all of the job traindependent. I rely on myself, so I say I’m reliable. I just always have looked at life like, you ing opportunities the District has offered her. know, you have to have faith. Without faith, In addition to training with LEAP—“they go over so much”—she’s also earning a computlike, what’s possible?”

Despite struggling to find employment, er certification.

“I can’t see not being able to move along she’s a year away from graduating with an associate degree in criminal justice from Trini- and get employment with all these resourcty Washington University. Branch eventually es,” she says. With LEAP, “you have one foot wants to be a juvenile probation officer, but for in the door. … You get a chance.”

The upside is clear: Unlike a job at Ross now she’s grateful for LEAP. “The job is not guaranteed, but I... always Dress for Less or Safeway, these professional say I would like to thank Muriel Bowser for the jobs pay higher salaries and offer clearer paths opportunity, for the idea, for the program,” she to financial independence. Hundreds of people have applied, Christian says, for around says. “I plan to get the best out of it.”

Cynthia Russell, too, is a single mother of two dozen slots in each group. But it’s unliketwo children who has been applying for jobs ly the District will expand LEAP in the near fumajor 10:59 reason: and interviewing for years without success. ture, for 2Dollars_2Wheels_9.5x5.1455_AD_FINAL.pdf 5 one 7/15/16 AM“This is a very exRussell has a bachelor’s in business manage- pensive program,” Christian says.

TM

DOES pays the internship salaries. For this fourth group, the agency will do that for up to six months. At $13.85 an hour, 40 hours a week, that’s an estimated $13,296 per person. (A department spokeswoman notes that private employers say two to three months is usually enough time to make a decision about an intern.) Just 50 internships are budgeted for fiscal year 2017, but that may change if the agency is able to attract more private businesses, Christian says.

It’s an idea that’s already driving Russell: “Maybe down the line, more employers will come in when they’ve seen how well we’ve done.”

As DHS continues to reform TANF, the Council is expected to consider legislation this fall that would codify reasons why recipients who have reached the 60-month ceiling should have their benefits extended: homelessness; children in foster care; being a teenage parent; or caring for a person with a mental or physical disability. There are broader reasons, too, like “a lack of employment opportunities within the District,” or “significant barriers to employment.”

Councilmember Brianne Nadeau, who introduced the bill in December, says “five years is not going to be enough” for TANF partici-

pants “starting from scratch”—those who require basic literacy or numeracy courses.

“Many of our unemployed residents have not been given education that’s going to position them for the jobs that are available,” she says. Her bill “seeks to humanize the people who receive these benefits.”

The mayor has promised to form a task force on the bill to get input from government officials, advocates, and TANF recipients. It’s expected to be convened next month.

Extending benefits to these 60-month families has an “upfront cost,” Sandalow says, but “over time, quite quickly, this will be a cost saving for the city.” With their monthly benefits already so low, many of these families are doubled up in housing, advocates believe. A wholesale cut to benefits could mean families winding up in shelters, which would cost the District significantly more money.

“People have a lot of stereotypes in their head,” Sandalow says. But many of these women are cycling in and out of TANF as they struggle to find jobs that can accommodate being a working, single mom climbing out of poverty.

“It’s hard for folks to understand what that economy looks like.”

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DistrictLinE Why Air and Space Should Build Anew Officials want a staggering $1 billion to resuscitate D.C.’s busiest museum.

By Amanda Kolson Hurley Not to miNce words, but the National Air and Space Museum is falling apart. The thin panels of Tennessee marble—actually, a kind of limestone—that clad the exterior are cracking and bowing away from its frame. The windows don’t block enough radiation from the sun. The heating and ventilation system has exceeded its intended lifespan. In addition to performing CPR on the building’s main components, the Smithsonian wants to make other upgrades, such as renovating exhibition galleries and redoing the large terraces around the museum.

To do it, Smithsonian Secretary David J. Skorton asked Congress last month for funding, a request that came as no surprise.

The Smithsonian had announced a year before plans to overhaul D.C.’s most-visited museum, at a cost of $365 million. By March, that figure had risen to $581 million. But now it’s floating another price tag: $1 billion.

That’s right, for what it costs to buy the L.A. Lakers, the Smithsonian can resuscitate a 40year-old museum.

Air and Space is the most popular museum in Washington, with 7 million visitors each year flocking to see The Spirit of St. Louis and the Apollo 11 capsule. But the building itself is not an architectural draw. Its main virtue is that it blends into its surroundings, a warehouse in the polite guise of an art gallery. The original design by Gyo Obata was severely compromised during construction, under pressure from the government to meet a tight budget and finish for the 1976 Bicentennial.

The building opened on July 1, 1976, at a cost of $41 million—but the real costs, it turned out, came later. The window walls that are failing today are only 15 years old, replacements in need of further replacement. The skylights are also again being replaced. At the time of their first replacement in 2001, one of the architects said “you could write a dissertation” on their problems.

The Smithsonian should consider demolishing the building and starting over.

That may sound sacrilegious. Americans are (thankfully) not in the habit of tearing down museums, especially museums on the National Mall. But $1 billion is an extraordinary amount of money for a brand-new museum, let alone a renovation. The National Museum for AfricanAmerican History and Culture, set to open Sept.

24, cost half that, and it was built from scratch.

concrete details

The Smithsonian intends to raise private funds to cover the cost of new exhibition galleries, but it wants taxpayers to foot the bill for $726 million in repairs and temporary artifact storage.

Construction would account for most of the total cost, at $578 million.

When asked about the possibility of razing the museum and rebuilding it, Skorton told House committee members that it would cost substantially more than $1 billion. A Smithsonian spokesperson says in an email that the cost of removing and conserving the exhibits alone would be “enormous.” Under a phased renovation plan, the museum will stay half open through the several-year project, and many artifacts will remain in place. The Smithsonian “is not interested in closing one of its iconic museums—supported with taxpayer dollars—to the public,” the spokesperson writes. For that reason, the cost of demolition and rebuilding was “not fully investigate[d].”

The potential cost of demolition and moving and storing all the exhibits is hard to guess.

Whatever the expense, it’s understandable that the Smithsonian doesn’t want to go that route. Air and Space is the fifth most-visited museum in the world, generating millions of dollars every year from IMAX tickets and food and gift-shop sales. Closing it for a long period would kill revenue and badly disappoint members of the public.

If only there were a spillover site, somewhere people could get their aviation fix while the museum on the Mall was being rebuilt...

Unlike any other museum in D.C., Air and Space has a backup ready and waiting. It’s the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center, an annex near Dulles Airport that opened in 2003 and was expanded in 2010. A massive, straight-up hangar, it’s actually better suited to the purpose of exhibiting airplanes and spacecraft than the museum downtown. Udvar-Hazy is vast enough to fit the Space Shuttle Discovery and a Concorde, lets you watch aircraft conservators at work, and includes the usual revenue-generating arms (a gift shop, an IMAX theater).

Rerouting the Mall’s Air and Space visitors to Chantilly, Virginia, would be problematic.

Chantilly is 30 miles from D.C. and not easy to reach on public transit. But it will be much easier when the Dulles station on Metro’s new Silver Line opens a few years from now.

Between now and the early 2020s, the Smithsonian could commission a new design, run it through the gauntlet of federal approvals, and start raising money. When the Dulles Metro opens, it could take down the current museum and direct visitors to Udvar-Hazy, offering free

shuttles from Dulles. A few key exhibits from the old Air and Space could be moved for a time to the National Museum of American History, the Castle, or elsewhere on the Mall for those who can’t make the trek to Virginia.

The Smithsonian ruled this out (if it ever entertained the idea) and has hired local architecture firm Quinn Evans for the mega-renovation project. Design work is only 35 percent complete, but early plans are encouraging. The architects will add vestibules to the entrances to handle long queues, and top these with broad, gently swooping new canopies for sun and rain protection. They’ll revamp the drab terraces outside, removing awkward half-walls and planting trees. More than a thousand solar panels will be placed on the roof to meet sustainability goals. Given the budget, they’d better get that LEED Gold certification.

The new-old hybrid that results should be a big improvement on the creaky original. Some Modernist era landmarks, like New York’s Lever House, have gone through very exhaustive renovations and emerged the better for it.

But Air and Space isn’t up to that standard.

It doesn’t have an important place in architectural history, and its form and details aren’t memorable. In general, adaptive reuse is a smart and resource-wise strategy, but there’s a point when so much of the original fabric gets stripped away that the environmental benefit is lost. The museum’s damaged Tennessee marble cladding can’t be reused, and neither can the glazing from 2001.

Hewing to the old design closes off other options. A new design could incorporate cutting-edge building science, in keeping with the technological innovation that the museum celebrates. It also might excite donors enough to get them to cover much of the cost, as at NMAAHC, which was 50 percent privately funded.

In his statement to House members, Skorton stressed the scope of the renovation and said it will see the building through the next 100 years: “In essence, we are creating a new Air and Space Museum for the American public.”

Well, sort of. It will be a re-engineered version of the old one with some (nice) new touches. The Smithsonian’s backlog of deferred maintenance is daunting, and the political optics of a do-over are bad—“demolish and replace” is always going to sound more extreme than “make essential upgrades,” however the costs might compare. This was the less risky decision. But it’s disappointing to be spending $1 billion patching up an old workhorse rather than creating something that would surpass it.

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Gear Prudence: I succumbed to peer pressure and now I’m in trouble. I go on long rides with my buddies on weekends and we’re out almost all day. My wife doesn’t mind, but the one thing she asks is that I text her when we stop for water breaks so she’s knows that I’m OK. It’s a safety thing and it’s sweet, but every time I take out my phone to do it, my friends make fun of me. So, this past weekend I didn’t do it and when I finally pulled into the house, she was so pissed! I don’t want her to be mad at me, but I also don’t want to be mocked. Is there any way I can make her understand?

—Can Have Empathy, Concerned Kin Implores Notification Dear CHECKIN: GP sympathizes with your plight. It sounds very onerous both to go on long weekend rides with your friends and also have a significant other who cares about you. Bicyclists truly can’t have it all.

It’s pretty uncool of your friends to mock your “I’m OK” texts. Clearly your wife worries about your safety (or maybe for reasons that currently elude GP, she actually misses you), and it’s not like you can’t spare the three seconds during a stop to send a quick text. But what’s even more uncool is that you’ve let your boorish buds dictate the terms of your relationship! You have nothing to be embarrassed about, and succumbing to peer pressure was seriously lame on your part. GP suspects that what really rankles you isn’t the checking in, but your desire for some clearer boundaries. You want your bike time to be your time, free from the intrusions of normal everyday life and that harridan of a wife who selfishly wants confirmation that you’re not in the bottom of a ditch somewhere in Darnestown. Is it too much to ask, you think, that you be simply left alone for eight hours at a time with your hobby? After all, you wouldn’t bother her on the weekend when she’s doing whatever it is that she does (laundry? scrapbooking? lusty affairs?) when you’re out riding. If a quick text is too much (and it shouldn’t be, so get over yourself ), rely on other technological solutions. Maybe she can track you on Strava or some other GPS-enabled cyberstalking software on your phone. Check in on Facebook. Or post to Instagram sepiatoned pictures of whatever gas station that served as a resting point. In fact, both of these options can serve a dual purpose: You can verify your continued well-being while bragging on the social about your epic ride.

Make sure you tag your riding buddies. It’s possible that someone out there cares about them too.

—GP Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about bicycling?

Email gearprudence@washcp.com.

UNOBSTRUCTED

VIEW

Waste Management

By Matt Terl It’s been a reasonably quiet offseason for the local NFL team, which is widely regarded as evidence of a culture change under second-year GM Scot McCloughan. Like a slacker finally pulling it together in his late 20s, the team has stowed its penchant for drama, tightening discipline and ceasing to blab about internal strife.

The injury suffered by LB Junior Galette just days before this week’s start of training camp obviously marks an end to that quiet streak, and it has the potential to trigger a regressive spiral into what have traditionally been the team’s worst tendencies.

The injury is a significant event on its own.

The linebacker was signed late in the 2015 offseason after being cut by New Orleans in the face of “off-the-field issues,” which in this case is the socially acceptable euphemism for accusations of fighting a dude with a belt (in a 2013 incident captured on video), hitting a woman (in the same video), pushing a woman as he was trying to get her to leave (in a different incident), and apparently tussling with at least one Saints teammate.

But Washington needed help rushing the passer, and this seemed like a potential buylow opportunity to sign a young, productive player from the damaged-goods shelf.

So McCloughan had a meeting with Galette that the GM says included tears and sweat and lots of very dramatic-sounding eye contact, and based on that, along with character testimony from current D.C. players who knew Galette and assurances about the strong veteran leadership in the locker room, the team rolled the dice.

When a player on your hometown team is accused of crimes, there’s an emotional component to the reaction, a one-sided personal connection to the team that makes you extend the same “not him, couldn’t possibly be” faith to a player that you would to a family member.

When the team signs someone who is already “troubled,” the feelings are more complicated, and sometimes more craven: Either you very quickly develop an imagined loyalty to a guy simply because he’s started using #HTTR in his tweets, or you mentally minimize the accusations and maximize the football impact to rationalize the signing.

Personally, I was able to do the latter with the Galette signing. The violent incidents in which he was apparently involved seemed less

like systemic issues with women and more like impulse control problems—not great, but much easier to believe someone could grow out of. I’m not proud of thinking this way, but that’s following a sports team in 2016.

This latest injury, though, puts the team in the position to potentially double down on that same gamble to fill the Galette-shaped hole in the roster: Greg Hardy is sitting out there looking for work. If Galette had a checkered history, Hardy’s is grandmaster-level chess. Hardy allegedly beat up his girlfriend, threw her onto a couch covered with a pile of guns, and then very definitely failed to express contrition about the incident once he had served his suspension. He apparently was also a terrible, disruptive presence in the Dallas locker room last year, fighting with coaches and showing up late for meetings. Katie Nolan of Fox Sports probably summed it up best by dismissing Hardy as “a garbage human who [was] punished for being garbage.”

When he wasn’t being a garbage human, though, Hardy was also really good at sacking the quarterback. And that’s cause for concern.

In 2008, Washington lost defensive end Phillip Daniels to a knee injury on the first day of training camp, and immediately made an ill-fated trade for big-name pass-rusher Jason Taylor. Taylor was not a garbage human, but he also wasn’t a fit for the team. The next offseason, the team would sign Albert Haynesworth, a definite “garbage human” candidate, in the doomed hope that he would be non-garbage on the field.

That’s the way things used to go here, and signing Hardy would essentially be a combination of those two dreadful moves. When the news of Galette’s injury broke, conflicting reports on the team’s interest in Hardy quickly followed, and I devoutly hope the truth is that the team has no interest. Because there’s no real sweat-and-tears story that McCloughan could spin that would make me excited about a Hardy signing. There is no on-field success that would retroactively justify such a move.

If the team signs Greg Hardy, the message will not only be that the franchise cares more about football than about people, but that the culture hasn’t really changed at all, that the same terrible decisions are being made anew. Signing this particular garbage human would restore the team’s reputation as a garbage franchise.

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SAVAGELOVE

I’m 28 years old and live in the Midwest. I’m intersex, but I identify as female. I am not out about being born intersex. Due to surgeries and hormones, I look like a fairly attractive female. I have been hanging out with a chill hetero guy, and things are getting very flirty. Is it unethical of me to not disclose my intersex-ness to him?

—In New Terrific Erotic Romance

“We all have to make decisions about what we disclose to partners or potential partners and when we disclose it,” says Alice Dreger, historian of medicine and science, sex researcher, and author.

For readers who may not be familiar with her, Dreger is the founding board chair of the Intersex Society of North America and the author of Galileo’s Middle Finger: Heretics, Activists, and One Scholar’s Search for Justice. Intersex, for readers who may not be familiar with the word, is an umbrella term covering dozens of different inborn conditions.

“They all involve someone having something other than the standard male or standard female body as those are defined by doctors,” explains Dreger. “There are lots of different ways to be intersex, including some so subtle that you might never even know you had that particular variation of development.”

So that chill hetero boy you’re thinking about disclosing your intersex-ness to, INTER? He could be intersex himself and not know it. But you do know it, and does “knowing it” obligate you to disclose?

“Lying is a bad idea, of course, but she’s not lying by presenting herself as a woman and identifying as a woman,” says Dreger. “She is a woman, just one whose body came with some parts that aren’t common to most women, or maybe lacking some parts that are common to most women (depending on her particular intersex condition).”

Dreger suggests making a mental list of the things a long-term partner might want, need, or a have a right to know about your history and your body. Then using your best judgment, INTER, decide what to share with him and when to share it.

“For example,” Dreger says, “if this chill hetero guy talks about wanting kids someday, and the letter writer is infertile, she might want to mention sooner rather than later that she was born with a condition that left her infertile. Do her genitals look or work differently than he might be expecting? If so, she might think about when it would be best to give him some guidance about how her body is a little different and what works best for her.”

Each of us has to balance our partner’s legitimate right to certain information, INTER, with our right to medical privacy as well as our physical and emotional safety.

“There’s no reason for her to feel like she

12 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

has to announce, ‘I’m an intersex woman.’

She could opt to say, at some point, ‘I was born with congenital adrenal hyperplasia,’ or ‘I was born with androgen insensitivity syndrome,’ or whatever her specific condition might be, and then answer his questions,” Dreger says.

“If the label ‘intersex’ were part of her core identity—a critical part of who she feels she is—then she might want to tell him early on, just as someone might talk about her ethnicity if that’s really important to her. But otherwise, she can disclose just like non-intersex people do with regard to fertility, sexual health, sexual sensation, sexual preferences, and sexual function—at a pace and in a way that promotes a good relationship and makes you feel honest and understood. And no one can tell her she has to use the term ‘intersex.’ That’s entirely up to her.”

Follow Alice Dreger on Twitter @AliceDreger.

—Dan Savage

So that chill hetero boy you’re thinking about disclosing your intersexness to? He could be intersex himself and not know it.

My husband looks at porn… of women with a body type almost the polar opposite of mine. Example: big boobs and tattoos. Does that mean he’s no longer attracted to my body? I’m so confused. He says I’m hot and sexy, but what he looks at does NOT make me feel that way.

—Personally Offended Regarding Nudes Is it possible your partner is attracted to … more than one body type? Example: your body type and its polar opposite?

And if your partner were looking at porn that featured women with your exact body type, would you feel affirmed? Or would you

be writing to ask me why your husband looks at porn of women with your exact body type when he can look at you? And is your husband sharing his porn with you… or are you combing through his browser history? Either way, PORN, if looking at what he’s looking at makes you sad, maybe you should stop looking at what he’s looking at? And if he’s not neglecting you sexually, if he isn’t just saying he finds you hot and sexy but showing you he does, why waste time policing his fantasies?

People enjoy what they have and fantasize about what they don’t. So long as we don’t take what we have for granted, it’s not a problem— unless we decide to make it one.

—Dan What are your favorite uses for the butt plug besides putting it in your own butt or someone else’s butt?

—Fun Faggy Question They make lovely paperweights, FFQ, and perfectly proportioned pacifiers for adult babies.

But at our place, we use decommissioned butt plugs to play cornhole—which is a beanbag toss game that became popular in the Midwest some years after I moved to the West Coast. (It’s true.

Google it.) When I was a kid, we were instructed to run from drunk uncles at family picnics who suggested a little cornholing before dinner. But that was then.

—Dan We all have to die, Dan. How would you most like to go?

—Genuinely Not A Threat In a tragic rimming accident.

—Dan

My partner and I got married last weekend. For his vows, he wrote a hilarious, wonderful song.

(He’s a professional singer in Los Angeles, so the song was pretty spectacular.) I’m a Femme Dom who loves ropes, while he’s pretty vanilla. Despite that, we’ve had a dynamite sex life for the last eight years, in part because he’s so GGG. Early on, I got him to start reading your column, and that concept made a huge impression on him. Here’s the verse from his song/vows that you inspired: “Now next I should obey you / But that one’s a little tricky / I’m what you call “vanilla”/ And on top of that I’m picky / Instead of blind obedience / I hope it’s understood / I promise to continue / Being giving, game, and good!” Thanks for all you do!

—Beloved Revels In Dan’s Love Education Congrats on your wedding, BRIDLE, and thanks for a lovely note—one that will give hope to kink-discordant couples everywhere.

Perfect fits, sexually speaking, are rare. But whip a little GGG into the mix, and that imperfect fit can become a perfect match! —Dan Send your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

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washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 13

THE KING OF ASHBURN THE LIFE AND MURDER OF A CON MAN

BY WILL SOMMER

Osama El-atari lEanEd up against a wall in his jail cell and tried to flatter a murderer.

“You have balls of steel,” he whispered into the next cell over. “Seriously, big-ass fucking balls. They should put your balls on display at the Smithsonian.”

“If they only knew,” Jorge Torrez replied back through the air vents. “Put my brain up there.”

By the time Osama arrived in Arlington County’s jail in 2010, his once-glamorous life had become anything but. Just a year before, he was the toast of Loudoun County, Virginia—a 30-year-old entrepreneur with a fleet of luxury cars, a house worth nearly $5 million, and a string of suburban restaurants. Osama’s ostentatious displays of wealth had even earned him some notoriety outside the county, thanks to frequent mentions on WJFK’s Sports Junkies radio show.

But the restaurant business couldn’t pay for everything Osama wanted, so he resorted to loan fraud, ultimately pulling off one of the largest bank schemes in Virginia history.

That’s how the disgraced millionaire found himself chatting with Torrez, while pressing a recorder provided by police to the vents the whole time.

Despite his new circumstances, Osama became a jailhouse snitch the same way he did everything else: with flair. He flattered Tor-

ILLUSTRATIONS BY STEPHANIE RUDIG

rez, declaring that the hypothetical movie about Torrez’s life would be called The Perfect Criminal.

If Torrez beat his current charges—attacking two women and raping one of them—Osama promised to buy him dinner. But then he thought better of it.

“I’m staying the fuck away from you,” he said. “I’ll send you a check for dinner.”

“Make it a big check,” Torrez replied. “So I can buy a hooker at least.”

Torrez was a rapist and a murderer, and he didn’t mind showing off his trade. He explained to Osama how watching episodes of America’s Most Wanted and Bones taught him how to commit a crime and get away with it.

Torrez spoke about other crimes, too— crimes for which he’d never been charged.

There were the 2005 murders of two young girls in Zion, Illinois, for which one of their fathers had been convicted. Torrez bragged about his role in the unsolved 2009 murder of Navy petty officer Amanda Jean Snell, strangled to death with her own laptop cord. He revealed how he murdered Snell, then stuffed her body into a locker.

“Bro, you’re fucking psychotic,” Osama said.

“Am I psychotic or am I smart?” Torrez said.

14 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

“Well, you’re smart because you got away with it,” Osama said.

Torrez wouldn’t get away with it for much longer. The recordings earned Torrez a spot on federal death row for Snell’s murder and helped Osama get early release after he served just four years of his 12-year prison sentence.

The self-proclaimed “King of Ashburn” came back to Loudoun County in 2014 at least partially redeemed. Yes, he was a con man, but he had also helped nail a murderer.

In February of this year, someone shot him in the head.

By thE timE the Prince George’s County Fire Department found Osama’s body, he had been dead for three days.

He was found at 9005 Armstrong Lane, on an isolated road in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. A few blocks from Maryland Route 4, the houses on the street are boarded up, or closed off entirely by construction fencing. Whoever killed Osama could have guessed correctly that no one would find him for a while. The rest of the untended yard was filled with busted tires and abandoned furniture.

Osama’s body sat in the front seat of his new-model Chevy truck, partially hidden from the road by a derelict house. His family had reported him missing two days earlier,

on Feb. 11, with his last known location a 10minute drive from Upper Marlboro in Capitol Heights, Maryland.

Inspecting the body, police found what a detective would later describe as two “defects”— procedural speak for bullet holes in his head.

More interesting, though, was what they didn’t find: Osama’s prized Rolex watch. The El-Atari family felt sure that Osama, who had been running a construction materials business after his release from prison, would have had the watch on him.

What might have been a lonely suicide for a disgraced ex-con now looked a lot more like a murder—and the missing watch was a clue to a criminal scheme that police say stretched all the way to the United Arab Emirates.

News of Osama’s death spread quickly among those for whom he had been an area celebrity—or a villain. On Fairfax Underground, a smutty 4Chan-style site devoted to Northern Virginia gossip, commenters discussed Osama’s murder under the years-old forum thread devoted to him. The title: “Osama El-Atari is a fucking scumbag.”

Meanwhile, Sports Junkies fans bombarded the show’s social media pages with news about Osama’s death. Osama’s brother Belal El-Atari called in to defend him, but one of the

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 15

yEars BEfOrE Osama landed in prison or met the people who police say killed him, he had another problem: someone else was calling himself the “King of Ashburn.”

Osama had befriended Jason “Lurch” Bishop, a fellow Ashburn resident and one of four co-hosts of WJFK’s Sports Junkies talk radio show. Bishop, the self-proclaimed king of Ashburn, often made on-air references to his perk-filled life in the exurb—albeit one that mostly stood out for comped meals at Bonefish Grill and his access to Osama’s sports cars. Disputing Bishop, Osama bought ads on WJFK to make the case that he was the true king of Ashburn.

Even if he wasn’t the undisputed king of Ashburn, though, Osama, with his goatee, broad face, and easy smile, was definitely a success story. The son of Jordanian immigrants, he had risen from his family’s middleclass roots to remarkable wealth.

Officially, Osama’s fortune came from several restaurants, including some Buffalo Wing Factory locations. But even a string of restaurants couldn’t really explain how Osama got all his money. A 2008 Washington Post article about luxury car dealerships weathering the recession cited Osama, who bragged about his two Lamborghinis, two Ferraris, and a RollsRoyce Phantom, as a top spender.

“I have no other bad habits,” he told the Post.

Osama paid $4.5 million for a 7,590-squarefoot mansion with seven bathrooms and a winding brick driveway for all of his cars.

When Washington football team player Sean Taylor was murdered, Osama bought his jersey at a charity auction for $25,000.

Osama spent lavishly on other people, too.

Before his sentencing in 2010, friends remembered his generosity: buying baby clothes for a young family, new eyeglasses for an elderly man, and sponsorships for local sports teams.

In letters to a judge asking for leniency after he was caught, employees described him as a generous, easy-going boss.

“Most of his money went to help other people,” Osama’s brother Amjad El-Atari wrote in a 2010 letter.

Still, he conceded, Osama “spent too much on his cars.”

Even as an ostensibly upstanding businessman, though, Osama was never far from legal trouble. His passion for sports cars brought him a load of tickets and at least one trafficrelated stint in jail. In 2007, a security chief for the Pentagon’s Defense Logistics Agency who wanted to do business with Osama scored bogus police badges for him and brother Belal.

The scheme blew up when Osama submitted his badge to Virginia alcohol regulators in an attempt to win another liquor license. Osama eventually pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor.

Osama emerged from that brush with the law with just a fine. His restaurant business and high-flying lifestyle remained intact—for the time being.

Still, it was all built on a $71 million lie.

in dEcEmBEr 2007, Osama headed to a Tysons Corner Starbucks to meet with another bank official. But United Bank Assistant Vice President Sissaye Gezachew wasn’t about to be tricked. He had Osama figured out.

In order to take out millions of dollars’ worth of loans, Osama needed to provide banks with collateral. Since he didn’t have enough assets for the loans, though, he just made up collateral in the form of bogus life insurance policies.

Many of the banks were convinced.

When Osama arrived at the meeting with Gezachew, he found out the bank official didn’t want to report him to authorities. He didn’t even want to deny the $5 million loan Osama had requested. Instead, he allegedly wanted in on the scam. Gezachew told Osama his forged loan documents didn’t add up, and offered to change the loan documents himself to make them more believable.

Gezachew, using the flashy accountant alias “Gordon Leipzieg,” doctored the loan documents so they would fool his bank. In exchange, Osama told investigators he gave $150,000 to his accomplice in $5,000 and $10,000 installments.

The partnership worked well enough that United Bank loaned Osama a total of $17 million. The bank thought the money was meant to buy more restaurants, but Osama soon spent it on cars and his house.

Even with Gezachew’s help, Osama couldn’t fool every bank. At least two banks suspected something and either rejected his applications or demanded accelerated repayments. Soon Osama was using new loans to pay off old ones, pushing off a bank that was getting anxious about its payments by hooking another.

By the spring of 2009, Osama had scammed more than $70 million from seven different banks to fund what would later be described in court as an “utterly irresponsible lifestyle.”

It wasn’t a particularly elaborate bank fraud scheme, says former prosecutor John Sammon, who helped investigate Osama’s case.

But the reasons why Osama, already wealthy from his restaurants, felt the need to steal millions aren’t so simple.

In a letter to a judge on his brother’s behalf, Belal speculated that their family’s upbringing motivated his brother’s crime. He remembered wealthier friends treating his father dismissively, and endless discussions with Osama about what they would do if they won the lottery.

“I think it’s in his aggressive nature,” Belal wrote.

Osama’s friend Daniel Tufts had another, simpler theory: Osama just loved being rich.

“He enjoyed the status,” Tufts wrote.

Whatever the motivation behind the scheme, Osama’s luck ran out on May 6, 2009.

United Bank started to get nervous about its loan. Osama told them he was out of state getting money to pay them back. A week later, the bank realized the life insurance documents were fake.

Osama promised the bank that it was all a misunderstanding. Instead of showing up to a meeting with bank officials, though, he van-

16 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

ished. When authorities arrived at his house in Ashburn, they found the cars and a whopping 18 big-screen TVs—but no Osama.

It’s hard to know where Osama went in his eight months on the run. Days after he left Virginia, United Bank speculated that he had fled to London. Others, knowing his family’s background in Jordan, assumed he was somewhere in the Middle East.

In June 2009, federal prosecutors charged Osama in absentia with bank fraud. Then, months after Osama fled, investigators in Brazil found a death certificate for Osama and his passport in a Rio de Janeiro restaurant. According to an Associated Press report, Osama had paid a Brazilian official to fake his death.

The feds didn’t catch Osama in Brazil. Instead, investigators found him in Texas in January 2010.

He was at a Ferrari dealership.

30 months in prison. Then, Osama claimed that he had once been released from jail early on a traffic charge, thanks to $35,000 in political contributions he made to Loudoun County’s sheriff. An FBI investigation ended without charges.

Osama’s fellow inmates in jail weren’t safe, either. In an Alexandria lock-up, Osama informed on an inmate he claimed had been helping smuggle in terrorists from Somali extremist group al-Shabab. The inmate was never charged with helping terrorists.

Even with all his cooperation, Osama still faced more than a decade in prison after pleading guilty two bank fraud charges.

So maybe it’s no surprise that he jumped at the chance in 2010 to be in a cell next to Torrez, who had been arrested on rape charges in Arlington.

The two inmates had already brawled once

“i want tO read your fucking book, motherfucker,” Osama told Jorge Torrez. “If I publish it, can I get some money?”

This wasn’t Osama’s first sting. After the government caught Osama in Texas, he became an enthusiastic informant. He helped investigators prosecute United Bank’s Gezachew for his role in the schemes, earning sentencing credit when Gezachew landed

in jail. Still, investigators believed Osama could start a friendship with Torrez—even though, as Osama would later tell a judge, he considered Torrez “an evil monster.”

The police officers who recruited Osama to make the recordings were right. The recordings helped secure a death sentence against Torrez for Snell’s murder, while the father of one of the girls Torrez allegedly murdered in

Loudoun Couty Sheriff’s Office

hosts had a less sympathetic reaction: “Snitches get stitches.”

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Illinois was exonerated. Torrez now faces trial on murder charges in Illinois.

On the strength of his cooperation, Osama was released in 2014 after serving less than half of his sentence.

Only a few million dollars of the missing money has ever been recovered. But while the federal government was finished with Osama, not everyone waiting for him outside was. a day aftEr police found Osama’s body, Prince George’s County Police Department detectives interviewed the last people known to have seen Osama alive.

Donald Clay, a 48-year-old Manassas resident with an unclear relationship to Osama, at first denied knowing what happened to him—but then, according to police documents, spilled it all.

According to police, Clay was convinced that Osama had stashed millions of his stolen money overseas. Clay allegedly opened his own foreign bank account in Dubai, with the intention of making Osama transfer the money on a computer at gunpoint, police say. It’s not clear how or why Clay believed that Osama had money abroad.

On Feb. 10, police say, Clay lured Osama to an afternoon meeting in a Capitol Heights cul-de-sac. An isolated street in an industrial area, the cul-de-sac is empty except for lots for construction vehicles and a sign: “Gorgeous Prince George’s.”

At the meeting, Clay apparently told police, two accomplices approached Osama with a gun. According to police documents, Clay said that the men—allegedly 26-year-old Lusby, Maryland, resident Taqwa Muhammad and 29-year-old Temple Hills, Maryland, resident Eric Garris—drove Osama in his truck to the abandoned house while Clay followed.

When the time came to transfer the money to the Dubai bank account, though, police believe that Osama insisted he didn’t have

the money. Clay said that’s when one of the accomplices—he claims he’s not sure which one—shot Osama inside the truck, leaving with just $100 and Osama’s Rolex, according to court documents.

After police arrested Muhammad and Garris on Feb. 18, police say that Muhammad called his sister and told her to hide the watch.

Muhammad’s cousin later dug up the watch for police, finding it hidden in a Ziploc bag under leaves, according to police.

Police documents name one other man involved in the murder who hasn’t been charged.

A source familiar with the investigation confirms that at least one person believed to have been involved in the murder has yet to be charged. Clay, Garris, and Muhammad all face murder charges.

Osama’s death also makes it difficult for prosecutors to use his jailhouse recordings of Torrez in the Illinois murder case, admittedly an academic problem since Torrez is already on death row and serving five life sentences.

Last week, Torrez’s lawyer filed a motion calling for the recordings to be thrown out on the grounds that he can’t cross-examine Osama.

“I’ve never had a seance in court,” Torrez’sattorney Jed Stone says.

Clay’s alleged plan had one big problem: It’s not clear that his victim had any money stashed abroad. Kevin McCarthy, who handled Osama’s bankruptcy, doubts that much of the stolen money made it out of the country with Osama when he went on the run.

If the prosecution’s story is true, Osama was killed for money he likely didn’t even have— the final consequence of his bank fraud.

“He did pay a price,” McCarthy says.

Belal El-Atari, who declined City Paper’s requests to comment, offered a different take on his brother’s death when he called into the Sports Junkies.

“At this point he’s dead,” Belal said. “So all the trash talk can stop.”

CP

DCFEED

Sidamo Coffee and Tea celebrates 10 years on H St. NE. Owner Kenfe Bellay isn’t worried about the new Starbucks down the street.

Social Disgraces

What happens when restaurants behave badly on social media?

One lazy Sunday morning I woke up and reached for my phone before reaching for my husband, like many of you may have done. What had I missed on Twitter overnight? A quick app refresh revealed that Zentan, a Japanese restaurant inside The Donovan, had tweeted out a full frontal dick pic. No bones about it, there it was: a closeup of a male member on the restaurant’s official account at 10 a.m. on Jan. 19, 2014.

After I took a screen grab, I texted Jacque Riley, Kimpton Hotels’ area director of restaurant public relations at the time, who deleted it.

“It was like a pleasant weekend morning,” she recalls. “I think I was drinking coffee, and I was like oh god, oh god.” She suspects it was an employee who held social media responsibilities for the restaurant at the time, though the individual claimed the account had been hacked. “We never really knew, but assumed” the employee had accidentally tweeted the penis pic, “and there’s only so much investigating you can do,” Riley says.

While the tweet was startling, it’s not the worst social media mishap to occur locally, especially now that nearly every restaurant has a Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram account. A dick pic, after all, is just anatomy. Racism, sexism, or drug references can be far more damaging to a restaurant’s reputation, and incidents seem bound to occur if professionals aren’t closely guarding or maintaining accounts.

What counts when it comes to a restaurant’s long-term reputation is how they handle the aftermath.

Take The Royal, for example. Paul Carlson, the owner of the LeDroit Park bar and coffee shop, was at Logan Hardware last July when his phone chimed, alerting him that his restaurant had tweeted.

“The only thing that pairs better than Quaaludes and #billcosby is our #apollo espresso and house made arepas. @counter_ culture.” Quaaludes are the prescription sedatives Bill Cosby admitted under oath to slipping women.

“Oh god, that was a terrible day,” Carlson says. An employee had written and sent the tweet. “We had an individual who was

Young & hungrY

extremely talented in the bar program. I still think she’s a good person, but we don’t have the same beliefs.” He fired her, and the restaurant issued an apology on Facebook.

We are a family-run business, proud to be a member and supporter of the community, and the tweet is completely out of line with who we are, the values that we hold, and the culture we want to foster and promote. We strive to help build a safe and inclusive community for everyone and we have no tolerance for anything less than that.

The tweet was offensive, insensitive, and the staff member has been terminated. We want to assure our guests and neighbors that The Royal is a safe and respectful place.

Carlson retrained staff about messaging and assigned social media duties exclusively to the restaurant’s publicist, Brittany Garrison. “I think we dealt with it well,” he says.

“We acknowledged that there was a mistake made by the restaurant, even though it was done by one person.”

The High Dive in Adams Morgan went beyond merely apologizing after its digital fall from grace. In April 2015, the bar posted a photo to Facebook with the caption, “People are camping out for #thehighdive grand opening!”

Except the accompanying photo appeared to be a homeless man passed out on the sidewalk in front of the entrance. Washingtonians let the bar have it, accusing it of hating homeless people, says partner Tristan Magee. Initially, The High Dive defended the post, but later issued an apology on the social media site.

The image we posted belittled the very serious problem of homelessness, and it never should have been posted in the first place. We’re embarrassed that we posted it and for making the situation worse by being defiant and defensive when we should have done what decent people do when they make a mistake: own up to it and learn from the experience.

The apology tour continued with the restaurant announcing that proceeds from its first Friday night in business would go to Joseph’s House, an organization that cares for people experiencing homelessness in addition to latestage AIDS and terminal cancer. Magee calcu-

Stephanie Rudig

By Laura Hayes

lates that they donated $1,100.

“If there’s a crisis—no, WHEN there is a crisis—I think you have to look at your response and be transparent and genuine,” says Doug Rashid, who manages social media for Taylor Gourmet, Shouk, and Mason Social, among others. “If you don’t address someone

[and] acknowledge customers, you’re going to be in shark-infested waters.”

Social media is still relatively new, even more so for small businesses. Often when things go south, it’s because someone with login access posts something that may be apContinued page 22

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 19

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CANTINA MARINA - 600 Water St SW Southwest (DC) Burger: topped with pepper-jack cheese, pico de gallo, and fried jalapenos COMMODORE PUBLIC HOUSE - 1100 P St NW “The Liberty Bell” rebellion blend patty, shaved hangar steak, whiz, caramelized onions, pickled fresno chilies, smoked mayo, iceberg, tomato, potato bun

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HAWTHORNE - 1336 U Street NW Three Little Pigs - ground wagyu with bacon whiskey marmalade, crispy pork belly, bacon demi, lettuce tomato and onion on a brioche roll.

KANGAROO BOXING CLUB - 3410 11th St NW Sunday 24th: All day brunch burger served w/ maple syrup and fried egg on a biscuit bun Monday 25th: thai fried basil pork burger w/ bird chili Tuesday 26th: nacho average burger Wednesday 27th: Peyton’s burger. Roasted garlic and jalapeno beer burger Thursday 28th: habanero lamb burger with tzatziki and feta Friday 29th: pizza bagel burger, served open face, no anchovies Saturday 30th: classic costanza - kbc’s signature burger, blended with bits of house smoked pastrami KONA GRILL - 776 Wilson Blvd #1, Arlington, VA 22209 Kona Grill Big Kahuna Burger - Cheeseburger Slider- Lettuce, tomato, homemade pickles, on a brioche bun served with fries.

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MAD FOX TAP ROOM - 2218 Wisconsin Ave NW The Mad Fox Burger features our 8oz signature beef blend patty topped with Tillamook cheddar, house-made bacon jam, smoked garlic mayo, lettuce & tomato on a brioche bun MR. HENRY’S - 601 Pennsylvania Ave SE Jazzy Burger: spicy summer tomato jam & Fontaina Cheese served with house slaw & freshly cooked potato chips NANNY O’BRIEN’S - 3319 Connecticut Ave NW Our 1/3 pound all-Angus Beef patty topped with crumbled blue cheese and your choice of one of our 8 wing sauces including Classic Buffalo Hot, DC Style Mumbo, Honey Barbecue and more!

PINSTRIPES - 1064 Wisconsin Ave NW “The Cheeseburger”: American grass-fed beef, with cheddar, lettuce, tomato, shallot mayo and pickle.

REBELLION - 1836 18th St NW “The Ramsay Bolton”: rebellion blend patty, smoked foie gras mayo, b&b pickles, bacon bits, 1000 isle, white American cheese, shredded iceberg, potato bun.

RiRa GEORGETOWN - 3125 M St NW The Guinness BBQ Burger: Hand formed all natural beef burger seared on the griddle and cooked to your liking, topped with sharp white cheddar drizzled with house made Guinness infused BBQ sauce, three colossal onion rings, vine ripened tomato and crisp lettuce, served on a butter grilled brioche bun.

SCION: DUPONT - 2100 P St NW Classic Scion Burger: Ground Wagyu and Sirloin Blend, Smoked Mozzarella, Caramelized Onions, Fried Pickles, Peach Ketchup, Brioche Bun SCION: SILVER SPRING 1200 East-West Hwy, Silver Spring, MD 20910 Classic Scion Burger: Ground Wagyu and Sirloin Blend, Smoked Mozzarella, Caramelized Onions, Fried Pickles, Peach Ketchup, Brioche Bun SIGN OF THE WHALE – 1825 M St NW “The Harpoon”: Hand-crafted Sign of the Whale burger served between a split all-beef hot dog topped with BBQ sauce and fresh made fried onion straws served in a sub roll and with French Fries SLASH RUN - 201 Upshur St NW ENTIRE TASTY BURGER MENU IS $7!! We Take our burgers seriously.

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STONEY’S ON L - 2101 L St NW The Dude Burger: Topped with pepper jack cheese, grilled onions and roasted green peppers.

THE HEIGHTS - 3115 14th St NW The Heights Burger comes with: 8oz natural beef, cheddar cheese, fried egg and aioli served on a brioche bun.

THE PROSPECT - 1214 U St NW 1214 Burger: Angus Beef Patty, Pepper jack Cheese, Avocado Spread, Tomato, Hydroponic Bibb Lettuce THE SOVEREIGN - 1206 Wisconsin Ave NW The Liege Burger: Herbed liege waffle, “choucroute bacon”, tomato jam, mustard fondue, fried egg and arugula.

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washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 21

DCFEED propriate for a personal account, but not a brand’s account.

“When people make boner moves like that, you look at them and say, is that coming from someone with a communications background?” Rashid says. An experienced professional would be unlikely to send a rogue tweet, so Rashid says that blunders typically come from the fingers of in-house staff who better excel at managing or cooking.

That was the case with The High Dive. “We had no idea. We were just two college friends that started a business, so we were still treating Facebook like it’s your regular Facebook account, where nobody cares what you say,” Magee says.

Hiring the right social media manager can prevent a staff member from polluting the digital space with poor taste. Some restaurants, like those of the Neighborhood Restaurant Group, hire in-house for the position, while others hire contractually. Rashid is a contractor; so is Farrah Skeiky, the social media gatekeeper for Dolcezza Gelato, Daikaya, Room 11, Anxo Cidery & Pintxos Bar, and others.

The Barracks Row Balkan restaurant Ambar also farms out its social media duties. Ivan Iricanin, founder and COO, hired a Serbian company called NextGame to handle his restaurant’s social media for $7,500 a year. Restaurant ownership and management works with NextGame to approve and schedule posts a week in advance. While not having to think about posting every day is a perk, the best value for the money, Iricanin says, is for the monitoring component.

To stay ahead of a social media crisis, restaurants need to constantly keep eyes on feeds.

And for that kind of attention, going overseas was much cheaper. “Here, it’s expensive to have all of the perks we’re getting with them, like a 24-hour presence, 24-hour monitoring,” Iricanin says. “Nobody can do anything. They control our log-ins. If we send something stupid, we are stupid, because if you see something, it’s intentional,” he continues.

When an employee leaves on bad terms, it’s particularly important to be vigilant. Just ask Mike Bramson, a partner of Social Restaurant Group. The opening chef at Bonfire, one of Bramson’s restaurants, left less than two months into the job. R.L. Boyd says he was frustrated that the walk-in refrigerator occasionally went on the fritz, requiring him to throw out food.

Bramson says Boyd let loose on his personal social media accounts after departing. “We posted a picture of something we were going to serve that day and he said, ‘good luck with no chef today,’” Bramson says. “We didn’t respond; we just let it go.”

Monitoring Boyd’s accounts put the restaurant on high alert, so when a series of one-star Yelp reviews popped up, Bramson concluded they were either written by Boyd or General Manager Mike Herz, who was terminated a few days af22 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

ter Boyd left. Boyd and Herz both deny writing those reviews, but Bramson contends that they were too detailed to have come from an outsider.

“There were three Yelp reviews from people that had never done a review before, naming specific things,” Bramson says. “What made me upset is that he was targeting our pastry chef, and she’s the nicest girl in the world.”

The reviews in question, like nearly all of the posts referenced in this story, were deleted, and The Royal and The High Dive both owned up to their mistakes. But not every post made in questionable taste results in a public apology.

On July 19, Chef Kwame Onwuachi of Top Chef fame and forthcoming restaurant The Shaw Bijou posted a photo on Instagram of a couple doing caviar “bumps” off their fists—the identical choreography for doing a line of cocaine. The caption reads, “Teaching people the art of the caviar and truffle bump. There are no bad bumps, but this one is amazing.” No need to spell out the implications. On top of that, he took this show on the road and did caviar bumps live on air with NBC4 news anchor Eun Yang.

The account, @bastedmind, has nearly 14,000 followers, and although it’s Onwuachi’s personal account, it does name The Shaw Bijou.

Young & Hungry contacted Onwuachi’s publicist, Jaimie Schapker, about the bumps in question. After talking with Onwuachi about the post, he elected not to comment, and the photo and caption remain on Instagram and Facebook.

Similarly, on July 25, Black Squirrel Owner Amy Bowman tweeted (from the bar’s official account) an illustration dubbed, “Guide to Gang Signs” with a caption of “We’re the OG of DC. Represent.” The image depicted dark-skinned hands making gang signs like “waffle time,” “c is for cookie,” and “small penis.” When reached about the tweet, Bowman asked if it was in poor taste. “I thought it was funny,” she said.

Before Bowman deleted it, Miles Gray of Smith Public Trust posted it on Facebook and Twitter saying, “Once a year, like clockwork, a perfectly fine #DC establishment feels the need to drift into ‘accidental racism.’” Reached by email, Gray added, “I’m sure all sorts of societal ills are funny to people who haven’t been affected by those issues—D.C.’s battle against gang violence is pretty well documented.”

No matter the response, the internet can ensure that gaffes stick around long after the post is forgotten or removed. “If you Google the bar, if you don’t have other things to come up as results, that will always come up on page one of Google,” Bramson says, speaking generally. But Magee reminds us, “The thing with the Internet is, after a week, people won’t remember what they’re angry about. But for the people who are dealing with the hatred, they have to deal with it after everyone else has forgotten.”

CP Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to lhayes@washingtoncitypaper.com.

DCFEED Grazer

what we ate last week: Crispy squash blossoms stuffed with rock shrimp, ginger aioli, espelette, and chives, $15, Whaley’s.

Satisfaction level: 4 out of 5. what we’ll eat next week: Sweet corn soup with house guanciale, cherry tomato, and honeycomb, $12, Ripple. Excitement level: 4 out of 5.

BrewinTown

If You Can’t Stand the Beat, Get Out of the Kitchen

Brew In Town: Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc

Like cage fighters or politicians with fist-pumping walk-out songs, chefs have go-to tracks that get them fired up to feed the masses. Often, a restaurant kitchen’s “theme song” is the last tune that plays before the doors swing open to the public for service.

Fourteen chefs were willing to share their songs. Visit us on the web to stream this playlist on Spotify.

—Laura Hayes

Alice in Chains, “Them Bones” Kyle Bailey, Sixth Engine

The Darkness, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” Hamilton Johnson, Honeysuckle

Phil Collins, “In the Air Tonight” Jonathan Dearden, Radiator

Jackson Taylor & The sinners, “Whiskey Drinking song”

Desiigner, “Panda” Ryan Hackney, Bibiana

The Original Broadway Cast of Hamilton, “Alexander Hamilton”

Travis Weiss, Rebellion

Anthony Lombardo, The Hamilton

KrS-One, “Step into a World” Rob Rubba, Hazel

George Strait, “Amarillo by Morning” Joe Palma, Bourbon Steak

Rihanna, “Needed Me” Marjorie Meek-Bradley, Ripple

ATMOSPHERE, “Get Fly” Jesse Miller, Bar Pilar

Pearl Jam, “Corduroy” Andrew Markert, Beuchert’s Saloon

Ryan Ratino, Masa 14

Victor Albisu, Del Campo

tastes a bit stale. While the mozzarella pairs well with the prosciutto on a textural level, it completely lacks the rich and creamy flavor typical of most soft cheeses.

The Sandwich: The Prosciutto

Where: Bozzelli’s Italian Deli, 1025 Vermont Ave. NW, (202) 347-6804, bozzellideli.com Cost: $9, no cash accepted Stuffings: Prosciutto, mozzarella, roasted red peppers, vinaigrette Thickness: 2.5 inches Pros: With classic Italian sandwich joints like A. Litteri and Mangialardo & Sons inaccessible to downtown workers, Bozzelli’s new Vermont Avenue location provides office workers savory, meaty options all week long. But the

Cathal Armstrong, Restaurant Eve

Flo Rida, Pearl Jam, “My House” “Given to Fly”

’WichingHour

Bread: White sandwich roll

U2, “Bad”

deli’s not new to the area, having operated in Northern Virginia since 1978. In this sandwich, the layers of salty prosciutto are balanced by a sour vinaigrette that brightens every bite.

Cons: The roll should come out crisp because it gets toasted before fillings are added, but instead, it crumbles and

Sloppiness level (1 to 5): 3. Diced pieces of red pepper immediately fall out of the sandwich. Keeping them in longer slices might mitigate some of the mess. Using a structurally insufficient roll leads to a lot of crumbs on the plate and on your face.

Overall score (1 to 5): 2.5. For a midday meal under $10, this sandwich is perfectly adequate. Turning it from something forgettable into something craveable would be easy with a more flavorful cheese and a better bread.

—Caroline Jones

Where in Town: Georgetown Wine & Spirits, 2701 P St., NW Price: $9.99/six-pack Big Beer-Curious: Amid speculation over the merger of two of the world’s largest beer companies—AB-Inbev and SABMiller—I’ve been trying out a few imported macro-brews. Perhaps I was brainwashed by all the hours of the Tour de France I watched this month, but I grabbed a six-pack of Kronenbourg 1664 Blanc, the spruced-up sister to France’s ubiquitous Kronenbourg 1664 pale lager. The brewery, located in Strasbourg not far from the German border, is owned by the world’s fourth-largest brewing company, the Carlsberg Group, whose beer sales account for seven percent of the global market, compared to AB-Inbev and SABMiller’s combined 30 percent.

Half-Wit: Things started out well. The 1664 Blanc looks like a typical Belgian-style witbier—cloudy and pale gold in color, with a thick white head. Its enticing, sweet nose has notes of peach and lemon. But the beer’s flavor is cloying and artificial, much like another European import, Haribo Gummy Bears. The beer’s Strisselspalt hops, from the Alsace region where the original Kronenbourg brewery is located, are barely perceptible, and the orange peel and coriander are only detected on the finish. The five-percent alcohol brew is thin-bodied and drinks more like a shandy or fruitflavored seltzer than a witbier. In the macro-beer realm, I’d reach for Hoegaarden or Blue Moon before this beer, and would happily drink an Allagash White over all three. If you crave something from France, I’d suggest one of the Bière de Gardes from Castelain or La Choulette, found at shops with notable import selections like Pipetown Traders in Southeast.

—Tammy Tuck

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 23

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Runs through

GHOST TECH BETTER HOMES AND Phillip McGaughy Between Latitudes GARDENS Becky Borlan

An exhibition by 2016 July 29–September 16, 2016 September 1–30, 2016 September 30–November 18,East 2016of the River Aug.26 STRAIGHT Distinguished Artist Award Recipient , 30–November 18, 2016 Vivid Solutions Gallery 2208 Martin Luther King Jr. Ave. SE Honfleur Gallery September THE BAND PERRY NO CHASER 1231 Good Hope Road SE WDC 20020 1231 Good Hope Road SE WDC 20020 Vivid Solutions Gallery THE NEW OLD FASHIONED TOUR

AUG 4

Kick-Off: July 29, 6–9 pm Artist Reception: September 9, 6–9 pm AUG 16, 7 6–9 Closing Reception: September Gallery & Artist Hours: Thurs. 1–7 pm pm and Sat. 12–5 pm LA BOHÈME Gallery Hours: Tues.–Sat., 10 am–7 pm PHILLIP PHILLIPS WOLF TRAP OPERA NATIONAL SYMPHONY This pop-up photography studio/gallery Artist Hours: Thurs. and Sun. 10 am–2 ORCHESTRA invites volunteers to have a photo shoot and MATT NATHANSON pm and Sat. 2–6 pm GRANT GERSHON,

writeBIG down their loves and fears on A GREAT WORLD notepaper. This project celebrates the images Layers of textiles, imbued with meaning from AUG 10 of everyday people and highlights the the women who donated them, create a connecting humanity during polarizing times. winding installation of colorful, abstract Selected work will be wheatpasted on posters PA R K sculptures.

S E RVThese I C Epieces literally and around town and the gallery will be papered figuratively wrap individual experiences into a with proofs of the portraits and notebook beautiful collective one. Over the course of entries. the exhibition, the environment will grow, change, and be re-arranged.

CONDUCTOR

AUG 5

N AT I O N A L

CELEBRATES 100 YEARS

AND MANY MORE!

PREMIER SPONSOR 2016 SUMMER SEASON

The artist invites donations from women or anyone who identifies as a woman of textiles (including clothing and linens) during her artist hours.

Artist Reception: October 14, 6–9 pm Gallery Hours: Wed.–Sat., 12–7 pm Artist Hours: Thurs.–Sat. 12–7 pm

1231 Good Hope Road SE WDC 20020 Artist Reception: October 14, 6–9 pm Gallery Hours: Tues.–Sat., 10 am–7 pm Artist Hours: Tues. 2–6 pm;

Launchwill ofact the Wood, plaster, and foam sculptures as Immersion Wed. 11–4installation pm; Sat. 10–1art pmseries with 3D screens on which video and images of the Anacostia River will be projected. The gallery Over the course of 8-weeks, the gallery will be Layers of textiles, imbued with meaning from will be filled with these "performative transformed into a whimsical urban jungle. the women them, create a winding sculptures" and visitors can wind their waywho donated The space will be filled with larger-than-life installation evolving abstract sculptures. through the installations while listening toof colorful, plant structures juxtaposed against tiny, Runsmusic, and conversations river sounds, Go-Go hand-sized wax houses. Visitors are invited to through with people who live along this waterway.IMMERSION makeisadditional houses, rearrange the work, Sept.16 supported in partand by document an the changes. award from the

Olivia Tripp Morrow’s Feminicity

Anacostia Arts Center and Honfleur Gallery are projects of ARCH, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the revitalization of Historic Anacostia.

Additional events, announcements, and information can be found at:

WOLFTRAP.ORG | 1.877.WOLFTRAP 24 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Bruce McNeil

JORDAN RAGER

1231 and 1241 Good Hope Road SE AnacostiaArtsCenter.org | HonfleurGallery.com

ALL EVENTS are FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

CPArts

Another summer of smaller shows and acts at Fort Dupont and Carter Barron. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts

The Kids Stay In The Picture At Rockville’s VisArts, two exhibitions showcase up-and-coming young artists’ breadth of talent and potential.

“Nicole Mueller: First Cut”

At VisArts at Rockville through Aug. 21

“Gen-Y 3.0”

At VisArts at Rockville through Aug. 28

By Kriston Capps Nicole Mueller’s “First Cut” is an ambitious first foray for an untested artist. The solo show occupies the entire storefront gallery at VisArts at Rockville, and her work holds its own as an anchor for the space. No small feat. Given what she’s accomplished, it would be coarse to ask her for more.

Mueller’s show includes a series of large-size abstract-expressionist paintings along with a pair of smaller collages.

While it’s enough that she has put together a coherent show—and she has, exceeding all reasonable expectations for an artist with not a lot of experience working at this scale—Mueller also got the chance to monkey with the windows and the very light that entered the space.

Mueller took her shot, wrapping the storefront windows of the Gibbs Street Gallery at VisArts with brightly colored Dura-Lar overlays and spraypaint. But she missed an opportunity.

“First Cut” comprises dense mixed-media paintings, executed with all-over acrylics but also spray paint and house paint. Mueller’s mark-making is fat and flat. She favors bold tones even when she’s working with bright colors, as in the sunset atmospherics of “Clamor” (2016). There is no center in Mueller’s paintings: “Shape Shifters #1” (2015), for example, bears the same cluster of seafoam greens, drab olives, emergency reds, and violent violets from one corner of the canvas to the other. Her paintings are thick and humid but also accessible and attractive.

The isotropy of Mueller’s compositions isn’t a problem with any specific piece. But across an entire show’s worth of paintings, it borders on repetitive—the great peril of any abstract-expressionist show. There’s not enough in the way of movement or negative space to distinguish the cataclysmic maelstrom of “Cacophony” (2016) from that of “Jamboree” (2016) or the next one. The sequence is broken up by a couple of collages, “Character Cut #1” and “#2” (both 2016), a welcome change in rhythm.

Mueller’s collages have their own compositional ticks. While the move away from support and canvas might have given the artist license to really play with space, these pieces are still fundamentally rectilinear and dense. In a lot of ways, Mueller’s work resembles the zany paintings of Elizabeth Murray (or, more locally, maybe, abstractions by Maggie Michael), but minus the free-form animation.

The untitled window installation—which is, again, a success—might have been an opportunity for Mueller to paint

galleries

“Turning Tables 2” by Sonia Ahmad (2016)

“Untitled” by Nicole Mueller (2016) washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 25

CPArts with light and let the movement of the sun dictate the form and motion of the “painting.” This light installation falls on walls already occupied by paintings instead, giving it the feeling of, well, window dressing. But what if she’d hung up empty canvas, gesturing at abstraction instead and letting chance in? That idea is probably not right for her work, but she might have done more with the installation by doing something different.

“First Cut” is exactly that: an excellent introduction to Mueller’s admirable abstractions. It’s also a first draft, a document she will want to return to as she builds up new series, develops new show concepts, and turns the page as a painter. In a way, she might have gone even further by treating this show as more of a sketch than a finished presentation. Part of learning control as a painter is learning exactly when to give it up.

“Gen-Y 3.0” must be misnamed. The artists in this VisArts group show are far too young to occupy that netherrealm between Generation X and millennials. Most of this show’s artists, whose ages range from 17 to 27, fall squarely within the latter bracket, albeit toward the far end of it. With work by artists who are possibly only weeks removed from high school, this show is as fresh as it gets.

So it’s a delight that so much of the art in “Gen-Y 3.0” is not just legitimately reviewable but downright savvy. This smartly juried show features works across media, from prints to photography to painting to film. Like the youngest generation itself (whatever we’re calling it), “Gen-Y 3.0” is admirably diverse,

26 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

featuring twice as many women artists as men and many artists of color.

Qin Tan, a recent graduate of the Maryland Institute College of Art, contributes both painting and video. There’s something unnerving about her paintings, which feature scattered, barely-there marks on canvas in the vein of Cy Twombly. One piece is particularly disquieting: a series of futile squiggles and hopeless gestures rendered in acrylic against an all-black abyss. The title of the piece is “Online Dating” (2016). Need she say more?

Some of the work in “Gen-Y 3.0” reads as young and unpracticed. Richard Munaba’s tech-oriented video works show more digital wizardry than conceptual rigor: “Staycation With Katy” (2016), an interactive video, allows users to roam through a forest (using a video-game controller) and peek at snippets of Katy Perry’s video for “Roar.” There’s better art lurking in Munaba’s forest, and it could be revealed by stripping out all the Perry, giving viewers instead the fauxsensation of a relaxing walk through the woods. That would be fireworks.

Angelique Nagovskayq’s drawings show remarkable technical range for such a young artist—she’s a high-school student in Kensington. A video by Emmanuel Mones, an undergrad at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, is warm and subdued and narrative driven; a video by Sonia Ahmad, an undergrad at Maryland’s College Park campus, works more like a performance and looks more like a photograph. Katherine Akey’s photos from severe Arctic landscapes are a crisp complement to a show that is other-

wise focused almost entirely on identity—the currency of the realm.

Amy Berbert’s twin cinemagraphs stand out as formally mature. The videos—“#339 Rykeise S., 18” and “#304 Jamahl L., 23” (both 2016)—are named for Rykeise Shaw and Jamahl Lockwood, young black men shot and killed in Baltimore last year. Berbert captured both videos at the locations where these men were gunned down; each video is a still frame but for one isolated moving figure (e.g., a man pushing a broom outside the convenience store where Shaw was killed). There’s just a touch of music to turn these desolate scenes into .gif-like portraits.

There’s a complication to these works, too (and almost certainly an unintentional one): Berbert, a senior at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, is white. Her work arrives at the center of a conversation—a passionate, live-wire shouting match—about who owns the visuals of the bodies of young black men, captured dead or dying on video and streamed online. Berbert’s work focuses instead on the aftermath, but that debate about the secondhand violence that happens when these videos trend virally is not far from her work. Whether it’s an act of allyship for a white artist to make work about the epidemic of black homicides—and whether that question should apply to the world of art—is a matter best left to the youngest generation. That’s not to buck the question, but to recognize that the adults have had their say.

CP 155 Gibbs St., Rockville. Free. (301) 315-8200. visartsatrockville.org

TheaTerCurtain Calls

Gospel TruTh Born for This: The BeBe Winans Story

By Charles Randolph-Wright and BeBe Winans Directed by Charles Randolph-Wright At Arena Stage to Aug. 28

hysterics in her affection for young CeCe and BeBe. And there’s so much feeling in Nita Whitaker’s portrayal of Mom Winans in the second act with her performance of the song “Seventh Son.” It drew supportive “mmm hmms” from many of the women in the audience, who were no doubt touched by lyrics in which she asks the Lord to watch over her son. Like Baptist churchgoers, the audience gets in to a call-and-response interaction with the actors on original songs, singing along to recognizable tunes like “Up Where We Belong” and “Tomorrow.”

The music, rather than the story, makes this production. But the audience doesn’t know the end of BeBe’s story, so the plot’s crescendo and denouement stop short in the last few scenes of the second act. Although marvelously fluid and entertaining, the ending feels abrupt and unfinished.

In the end, the critical question of whether contemporary gospel music’s true inspiration is God or audience enthusiasm might never be

It’s never been entirely clear just how much church music a secular audience will embrace. Ray Charles combined the “sacred and the secular” in songs like “Georgia on My Mind” and “Hallelujah, I Love Her So.” But Grammy Award–winning artists BeBe and CeCe Winans were criticized for taking God and Jesus out of some of their songs. Gospel artists might find themselves asking the same question the autobiographical musical Born for This: The BeBe Winans Story poses to BeBe Winans: “Here’s It’s the music—not the God, and here’s fame. Do they story—that makes this ensemble sing. work together?”

StreetSe StreetSense Handout photo by Greg Moon.

In its D.C. premiere—the show debuted in Atlanta— Born for This is a co-production with Arena Stage and Alliance Theater that tells the life story of a young BeBe and CeCe Winans, siblings of the wellknown gospel singing group The Winans. They leave their sheltered home in Detroit and move to Pineville, South Carolina. There, faith and spirituality are tested as the new act on Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker’s show Praise the Lord. Eventually, after a brush with TV fame and upand-coming celebrities (including a young Whitney Houston), BeBe must decide what path he will choose— to become a major recording artist or continue as a gospel singer.

There’s no reason to believe that Juan Winans and Deborah Joy Winans, the nephew and niece of BeBe and CeCe who play those siblings in the show, were shown favoritism in the casting: They earn their roles, working in tandem in outstanding performances that mix in fun family dynamics and bits of sibling rivalry. So why is this not called the BeBe and CeCe Winans Story? After all, the actors share roughly the same amount of stage time and are left to contemplate major life decisions like CeCe’s early marriage to Alvin Love or unique circumstances such as being the first African-American singers on a major Christian network.

Kiandra Richardson, who overcame a brief sound technicality, fit the physical role of a young Whitney Houston, but had some big shoes to fill. Kirsten Wyatt’s interpretation of Tammy Faye Bakker, however, nearly stole the show, with her squeaky voice and over-the-top

acostia Playhouse’s take on this 1980s twohander—about a couple at odds on their 18th wedding anniversary—tends to plod flabbily along with scant traces of tension and an underwhelming sense of emotional stakes.

David Rich (Dana Scott Galloway) can’t wait to re-propose to wife Carolyn (Adele Robey) as the couple settles into the hotel where they honeymooned nearly two decades ago. But traces of Carolyn’s dissatisfaction crop up early, when she chooses pre-dinner drinks at the bar over pre-dinner sex. When David asks how he’s been as a husband, he’s unhappy with her tepid reply: “fine.” Things go from lukewarm to ice cold when Carolyn responds to David’s down-on-one-knee diamond offering with a request for divorce.

Galloway and Robey each give strong individual performances—he as the successful businessman, assured that he can over-manage passion back into the tedious marriage; she as the over-it woman who has outgrown co-dependency and is up for new adventures sans spouse.

Still, their chemistry as a couple never quite hits the mark, so it’s hard to believe he’s desperate to keep her and hard to get behind her race toward the exit sign. When the sparring escalates from verbal to physical, there’s a stage-y element to the combat that makes it ring false, not full of fury and danger as it should feel. Arms and legs flail and blood flows, but canned sound effects and stiff blocking detract from the dramatic appeal.

What does land an impactful punch in this production is the script’s commentary on privilege, played effectively by both Galloway and Robey.

When Carolyn explains that a news article about a recently discovered planet steered her soul-searching toward divorce, David is entirely deaf to what he sees as her ludicrous reasoning. It’s a gorgeously crafted and delivered missive (by both Blessing and Robey).

She feels as erased and unseen as that invisible planet, like that “black body,” she says. He, in a response devoid of understanding, enumerates all the material riches bequeathed to them (nice house, greatest country, etc.), ending his side of the argument with an emphatic, “We are not black bodies.” Though the play sometimes feels dated, stuck in marital ennui among upper middle-class haves that epitomized the ’80s, it’s difficult to hear that line and not be reminded of the violence against black bodies and the glaring privilege of white bodies happening in the here-and-now.

—Amy Lyons

fully resolved. One actor remarks that they are “singing about Jesus one step away from hell.”

This show won’t absolve your sins, but it will make you feel like you’ve gone to church on Sunday morning.

—Rachael Johnson 1101 Sixth Street SW. $50–$110.

(202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

Class DismisseD Riches

By Lee Blessing Directed by Paul Douglas Michnewicz At Anacostia Playhouse through Aug. 14 WIth a runnIng time of just over an hour, any production of Lee Blessing’s Riches should be a brisk, taut affair that carefully builds to a violent crescendo. It’s puzzling then that An-

2020 Shannon Place, SE. $20–$30. anacostiaplayhouse.com.

Educating the public and Educating the thehomeless public empowering one at a time. andnewspaper empowering the

homeless one newspaper at a time.

Pick up a copy today from vendors throughout downtown D.C. or visit www.streetsense.org for more information.

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 27

FilmShort SubjectS

Say a LittLe Dare For Me Nerve

Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman Nerve triple-dog-dares you to like it.

It’s helmed by Catfish bounce-backers Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman. It stars the lesser Franco (Dave). And it’s a teen movie about a ridiculous concept whose leading lady is Emma Roberts. Though Roberts may have hit the heights on television series such as Scream Queens and American Horror Story, her box-office record isn’t nearly as stellar.

Yet Nerve is mindlessly compelling, akin to a fictional, feature-length version of Fear Factor, except not as gross and with a realistic chance of its characters dying. Adapted by Jessica Sharzer from a young adult novel, the film centers on an online game of dare called Nerve in which participants either pay to watch or play to win cash.

Vee (Roberts) is an inhibited Staten Island high school senior who’s too afraid to talk to her mother (Juliette Lewis, totally unfit to play a soccer mom) about her acceptance to a California college. Her best friend Sydney (Emily Meade) is a popular player who believes Vee will never be willing to wander out of her comfort zone. Sydney challenges her to sign up for Nerve, but with a post-script burn: “You’re a watcher.”

After Sydney humiliates Vee by telling a boy she’s crushing on that she likes him, Vee decides to join the game, with the intention of completing only one dare. She types in her info—and gives her fingerprint (!)—and receives her first challenge: to kiss a stranger at a diner for $100. Vee drags along torch-carrying friend Tommy (Miles Heizer) to bolster her, well, nerve, and chooses good-looking Ian (Franco) because he also happens to be reading her favorite book. She does the deed. But then Ian leaps up, goes to the jukebox, and en-

tertains the other diners with a little song and dance. He’s on Nerve, too. And the watchers—who text the game about what they want to see—like Ian and Vee together, so they’re paired for their subsequent dares.

If Nerve can teach you anything, it’s to read the terms and conditions—and not to offer your fingerprint to anonymous software. (Even though, in this particular case, there seem to be only three transparent conditions, including “Snitches get stitches.”) The dares go from innocuous to dangerous, with players collecting watchers. It eventually gets very Hunger Games, and though Roberts and Franco have a cute chemistry, you’ll have to endure frequent variations of the exchange, “No, this is crazy!”

“But we have to!” The challenges evoke the proper tension and ensuing rush, with the directors often shooting from above the pair dashing throughout New York City on Ian’s motorcycle, with carefree-evincing songs such as Børns’ buoyant “Electric Love” accompanying their playtime. And in addition to the major characters, Orange Is the New Black fans who pay attention will find a couple of series faves.

It’s probably needless to say that the film has some holes as well as some plot points that are difficult to believe, such as the BFFs suddenly treating each other like frenemies. The game isn’t exactly realistic, either, with an elaborate explanation about why no one can be prosecuted for organizing the game or for other legal fallouts. (Un–Fear Factor–like, these daredevils aren’t equipped with harnesses.) There’s silly dialogue and an absurd finale that takes place in a darkened arena, with thousands of masked watchers cheering on the mayhem.

Yet there’s enough humor to elevate the script above total idiocy. And as with Schulman and Joost’s fake documentary, you’ll always be wondering what’s going to happen next, even if you’re a little embarrassed for doing so. At the end of the film, a bad-guyturned-good asks his adversary, “We cool?”

Yep, we cool.

—Tricia Olszewski Nerve is now playing at theaters everywhere.

28 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Bourne, again Jason Bourne

Directed by Paul Greengrass Can you Complain about a movie that delivers exactly what it promises? That’s the challenge presented by Jason Bourne, which deftly replicates the story and tone of the blockbuster franchise’s prior entries but fails to feel even half as alive. Along with the much-anticipated return of Matt Damon to the lead role, a beat-for-beat sequel might be enough for the biggest Bourne fans. It shouldn’t be. The joy of film—or any art, really—is in the discovery of something new, and Jason Bourne, for all its competence, is totally devoid of newness.

We find Bourne on the coast of Greece, recovering from the events of Ultimatum by fighting in an underground bareknuckle boxing ring. Like James Bond in the opening scenes of Skyfall, he’s not doing it for the money; the dude just still has some stuff to work out. When his old friend Nicky (Julia Stiles) is assassinated for hacking the CIA database (looking for info on its famous Black Ops programs), Bourne is drawn back into his old life.

Picking up where Nicky left off, he finds some mysterious information about his father’s involvement in Operation Treadstone. As he sorts out the details, he must avoid being captured or killed by the shady new CIA director Robert Dewey (Tommy Lee Jones) and his protégé Heather Lee (Alicia Vikander), who unleashes on him an assassin known only as Asset (Vincent Cassel), a Frenchman possessing a similar set of superhuman skills.

It’s a problem that must keep the producers of action franchises up at night. You have to keep upping the action with each installment, but your hero has to walk away and continue fighting. The end result is that even action heroes who are grounded in re-

ality (like Bourne or John McClane from Die Hard) possess superhuman abilities by the fourth or fifth film, and the tension evaporates. How are we supposed to feel invested in Bourne’s survival when we know he can survive a crash-riddled car chase with a Humvee on the Las Vegas Strip—with only a slight limp to show for it?

Other than the increased wreckage, Jason Bourne feels terribly similar to the earlier films in the franchise. Clearly, this is the film the studio wanted. You don’t bring back the star of a smash franchise and the man who directed its two biggest installments and give the audience something different. But that’s the problem. No matter how hard the filmmakers work to convince us otherwise, it’s hard to shake the feeling that Jason Bourne has no reason to exist, except to make money for everyone involved.

What would have helped is more screen time for Riz Ahmed (currently seen in HBO’s The Night Of), who plays the CEO of a social media platform that has been secretly feeding user information to the CIA since its inception.

His storyline may be a transparent attempt by the screenwriters to inject some topicality into the film—a mix of the personal and political is this franchise’s trademark—but Ahmed’s eyes reveal conflict that the film otherwise lacks.

When he is onscreen, Jason Bourne feels more electric than in any of its car chases, fistfights, or shoot-outs.

But there is little time to linger on Ahmed’s brilliant performance. Jason Bourne moves too quickly—no shot seems to last more than a second or two—making the audience feel like they are always playing catch-up, even though its plot is deceptively simple. Maybe that’s how it tricks us into thinking it has something important to say. The Bourne franchise has always positioned itself as the thinking man’s action movie, but the head, in both biology and cinema, cannot survive without the heart.

—Noah Gittell Jason Bourne opens everywhere on Friday.

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 29

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD SUMMER SPIRIT FESTIVAL FEATURING

Jill Scott • Erykah Badu • The Roots and more! ..........................AUGUST 6 & 7

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

Swans w/ Okkyung Lee ............................................................................ Th JUL 28 Femi Kuti and The Positive Force w/ DJ Diaspora ................................ F 29 Drop Electric & Tone w/ The Sea Life & Janel and Anthony ..................... Sa 30

Shinedown w/ Halestorm • Black Stone Cherry • Whiskey Myers ....................AUGUST 10 O.A.R. w/ Eric Hutchinson & The Hunts ..................................................................AUGUST 13

Train w/ Andy Grammer ...............................................................................................AUGUST 20 Miranda Lambert w/ Kip Moore & Brothers Osborne .....................................AUGUST 25

Trillectro

AUGUST

Boris performing Pink w/ Earth ......................................................................Th 4 Us the Duo w/ Gardiner Sisters ..........................................................................F 5 Better Than Ezra ............................................................................................Su 7 Dr. Dog (W 10 - w/ Palehound • Th 11 - w/ Sun Club) ..........................W 10 & Th 11 L7 .......................................................................................................................... F 12 Belly .................................................................................................................. Sa 13 Honne w/ JONES ...............................................................................................Su 14 Toad the Wet Sprocket & Rusted Root w/ Daisie Ghost-Flower ............ F 19 White Ford Bronco: DC’s All-90s Band .................................................... Sa 20 The Bangles w/ Cardiac .................................................................................Su 21 Skye & Ross from Morcheeba ................................................................. Th 25 Hot in Herre: 2000s Dance Party with DJs Will Eastman & Brian Billion .F 26 THE CIRCUS LIFE PODCAST THIRD ANNIVERSARY CONCERT FEATURING

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Melanie Martinez .................................................................................. SEPTEMBER 22 Glass Animals ........................................................................................ SEPTEMBER 25 CHVRCHES ....................................................................................................OCTOBER 17 Die Antwoord ...............................................................................................OCTOBER 23 FOALS w/ Bear Hands & Kiev .........................................................................NOVEMBER 3 Grouplove w/ MUNA & Dilly Dally .................................................................NOVEMBER 9 2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

Owen Danoff (from NBC’s The Voice) FULL BAND • Oh He Dead • The Duskwhales • Gingerwolf • Nardo Lilly ...................................................Sa 27

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Young the Giant w/ Ra Ra Riot .......................................................................W 14 Angel Olsen w/ Alex Cameron ....................................................................... Th 15 Cherub w/ Frenship & Boo Seeka ...................................................................... F 16 Built To Spill w/ Hop Along & Alex G .............................................................Su 18 Okkervil River w/ Landlady ............................................................................ M 19 Lush w/ Tamaryn ...............................................................................................W 21 Blind Pilot Early Show! 6pm Doors ........................................................................ F 23 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

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IN CELEBRATION OF THE OPENING OF THE NATIONAL MUSEUM OF AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CULTURE

Preservation Hall Jazz Band ................................................................... SEPTEMBER 23

Peter Bjorn and John ............................................................................ SEPTEMBER 24 Ryan Bingham and Brian Fallon & The Crowes w/ Paul Cauthen . SEPTEMBER 28 Jake Bugg w/ Syd Arthur ............................................................................SEPTEMBER 29 Patti Smith A conversaton about her bestselling memoir, M Train .................. OCTOBER 12 Ticket purchase comes with a paperback copy of M Train.

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Tig Notaro, Aparna Nancherla, and more! .......................................OCTOBER 27 BRIDGET EVERETT Pound It! ............................................................................OCTOBER 28

STUFF YOU SHOULD KNOW LIVE WITH JOSH AND CHUCK ...................OCTOBER 29

Henry Rollins Election Night Spoken Word ............................................NOVEMBER 8 The Naked And Famous w/ XYLØ & The Chain Gang of 1974 .................NOVEMBER 15 Loretta Lynn ...............................................................................................NOVEMBER 19 Andra Day w/ Chloe x Halle ..........................................................................NOVEMBER 25 • thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

30 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

930.com

CITYLIST

INER

60S-INSPIRED D

Music 31 Books 36 Theater 36

Serving

EVERYTHING from BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

SPACE HOOPTY

A HIP HOP, FUNK & AFRO FUTURISTIC SET with Baronhawk Poitier

FRIDAY NIGHTS, 10:30 - CLOSE

BRING YOUR TICKET

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

Club

TO GET A

FREE SCHAEFERS

SABBATH SUNDAY NIGHTS Punk/Metal/Hardcore Classics

10:30 pm - Close $5 Drafts & Rail Specials

Music Friday rock

AMP by StrAthMore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. The Tone Rangers, Flo Anito. 8 p.m. $20–$30. ampbystrathmore.com. blAck cAt 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. The Suspects, Free Children of the Earth, Blockhead. 8 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com. coMet Ping Pong 5037 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 364-0404. Des Demonas, Santics. 10 p.m. $10. cometpingpong.com.

FillMore Silver SPring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. The New Romance. 9 p.m. $15. fillmoresilverspring.com. gyPSy SAlly’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

Bloodkin, Koa. 9 p.m. $12–$14. gypsysallys.com. the hAMilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Mike Slap the Bass. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc. com. iotA club & cAFé 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. The Space Cossacks, Atomic Mosquitos, Beachmover. 8:30 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com. rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Spirit Animal, Color Palette, Jauze. 9 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

dJ Nights

blAck cAt bAckStAge 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Dark & Stormy with DJ Shea Van Horn. 10 p.m. $5. blackcatdc.com. howArd theAtre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

R&B Only with Supreme the DJ, Jerome Baker III, and Jabari. 11 p.m. $15–$30. thehowardtheatre.com.

classical

kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington International Piano Festival. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. wolF trAP Filene center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. National Symphony Orchestra with Chad Hoopes, violin. 8:15 p.m. $20–$58. wolftrap.org.

tiWa saVagE

Despite working as a professional vocalist for more than half her life, Tiwa Savage has only come into her own as a solo artist in the past few years. Born in Nigeria, Savage immigrated to the U.K. at age 11. By 16, she was working as a backup singer for artists like George Michael, Mary J. Blige, and Sting. In an attempt to break out from the back of the stage, Savage appeared on the British version of The X Factor and earned a degree from Boston’s Berklee College of Music. Now, after releasing two albums and a number of videos, she has established herself in the largely male world of Nigerian pop and recently signed with Roc Nation. She alternates between singing sweetly, sometimes with an autotune-altered timbre, or in a warm, lower tone over skittering synth rhythms. Those beats distinctively meld Nigerian patterns with American R&B, Jamaican dancehall, and Trinidadian soca. Savage also highlights her emotional range and dancing skills in her theatrical videos, exuding sexuality and confidence in some and showcasing humility and self-confession in others. Expect it all to be on display during her headlining set at Bliss. Tiwa Savage performs at 10 p.m. at Bliss, 2122 24th Place NE. $20–$150. (202) 808-8600. blissdc.com.

—Steve Kiviat nAtionAl gAllery oF Art SculPture gArden 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 7374215. Eastern Standard Time. 5 p.m. Free. nga.gov.

blAck cAt 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Run for Cover 2016. 8 p.m. $12. blackcatdc.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Cruisr, Swimming With Bears, Exnations. 8 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine. com.

twinS JAzz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Aidan Lombard Group. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

ElEctroNic

FillMore Silver SPring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Crowded Streets. 9 p.m. $15. fillmoresilverspring.com.

betheSdA blueS And JAzz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Chuck Brown Band. 8 p.m. $25. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

FlASh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Mike Servito, Bryan Kasenic, Rush Plus. 8 p.m. $5–$12. flashdc.com.

the hAMilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Rich Robinson, Kelsey Waldon. 8 p.m. $18–$28. Jonathan Sloane Trio. 10:30 p.m. Free. thehamiltondc.com.

echoStAge 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Rare Essence, Junkyard Band. 7 p.m. $48.40. echostage.com.

u Street MuSic hAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

SG Lewis, Lance Neptune, Flash Frequency. 10 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

World

FuNk & r&B

iotA club & cAFé 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. Naked Grace, Rabid Flash Mob. 8:30 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com.

go-go

9:30 club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Femi Kuti and the Positive Force, DJ Diaspora. 8 p.m. $35. 930. com. the hAMilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. The Dustbowl Revival, The Judy Chops. 8 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com. hill country bArbecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 5562050. K. Phillips. 9:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

located next door to 9:30 club

CITY LIGHTS: Friday

dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Layton Giordani. 10 p.m. $7–$10. dcnine.com.

couNtry

2047 9th Street NW

Film 37

Jazz

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Poncho Sanchez and his Latin Jazz Band. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

Mr. henry’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Mike Flaherty’s Dixieland Direct Jazz Band. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

eAglebAnk ArenA 4500 Patriot Circle, Fairfax.

(703) 993-3000. Fifth Harmony, JoJo, Victoria Monet. 7 p.m. $219.95–$79.95. eaglebankarena.com.

saturday

JiFFy lube live 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow.

(703) 754-6400. Counting Crows, Rob Thomas. 6:45 p.m. $26–$80.50. livenation.com. rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Well & Co., Gabriel Gordon. 8 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

StAte theAtre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. The Legwarmers. 9:30 p.m. $18. thestatetheatre.com.

rock

9:30 club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Drop Electric, Tone, The Sea Life, Janel & Anthony. 8 p.m. $15.

930.com.

dJ Nights

Acre 121 1400 Irving St. NW. (202) 328-0121. Fellowcraft. 10 p.m. Free. acre121.com. betheSdA blueS And JAzz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. The Fabulous Thunderbirds featuring Kim Wilson, Bobby Thompson Project.

8 p.m. $35. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

blAck cAt bAckStAge 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. 4U Social with DJ Mate Masie and Sly Wonder. 9 p.m. Free. blackcatdc.com. rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

DJs Rex Riot and Basscamp. 11:30 p.m. Free. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 31

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

TOM JONES LIVE On Sale 10 am Tomorrow!

classical

couNtry

World

hill country bArbecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Jonny Grave and the Tombstones. 9 p.m.

Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

wolF trAP Filene center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. National Symphony Orchestra performs “Star Trek Into Darkness”. 8:30 p.m. $30–$58. wolftrap.org. howArd theAtre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Reggaefest vs. Soca. 10 p.m. $20. thehowardtheatre.com.

gyPSy SAlly’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. John “Papa” Gros, Honey Island Swamp Band. 8:30 p.m. $15. gypsysallys.com.

CITY LIGHTS: saturday SEPTEMBER 25 WARNER THEATRE TICKETS AVAILABLE FROM TICKETMASTER.COM WARNER THEATRE BOX OFFICE • 1-800-745-3000

FOLLOW washingtoncitypaper.com

soPhiE

The music of London electronic music producer SOPHIE is like an energy drink: a DayGlo blast of caffeine and carbonation that leaves teeth chattering and thoughts racing. SOPHIE puts a range of bubblegum pop—from ’90s U.K. girl groups to millennial boy bands to contemporary K-pop— in a blender, pushing elastic synthesizers, heart-palpitating bass, and helium-dosed vocals to their hyperkinetic limits. While he has produced for major pop acts like Madonna and Charli XCX, SOPHIE is most closely associated with London’s PC Music crew, a label-cum-collective that has kept dance pop dreams alive with its tongue-in-cheek explorations of pop tropes, commercialism, and celebrity. SOPHIE and PC Music compatriot Danny L Harle, a producer with a gift for scintillating arpeggios and unforgettable pop melodies, are perfect fits for a.i., a “pop-up auditory experience” created by D.C. electronic music collective Nü Androids that turns a night at a downtown dance club into a sensory-overloading adventure—whether you’re knocking back energy drinks or not. SOPHIE performs with Danny L Harle, Absrdst, and Nick Garcia at 10 p.m. at a.i., 1720 I St. NW. $20–$25. (800) 263-7643. facebook.com/aiexperience.

—Chris Kelly

CITY LIGHTS: suNday

What chEEr? BrigadE

When What Cheer? Brigade takes the stage at Comet Ping Pong, things will get a little sweaty. The 20-piece brass band, hailing from Providence, Rhode Island, is known for throwing raucous shows at street festivals, beneath highway overpasses, on college quads, or wherever its members can bring their unique blend of New Orleans brass, Klezmer, samba, hip-hop, and Balkan music. One favorite song, “Green Eyes,” begins like a funeral dirge, with wailing trumpet and trombone, before it turns into something else entirely—a banging, bouncing mix of tuba, bass drum, snare, and a trumpet section that just rips. But the music is only half the story. A What Cheer? show is a communal event, like a punk show without the mosh pit. Less violence, more dancing; less pushing, more jumping; fewer hard elbows, more swaying hips. So pull on your jorts, put on some comfortable dancing shoes, pop open a Miller High Life, and get ready for a party. What Cheer? Brigade performs with The Torches at 9 p.m. at Comet Ping Pong, 5037 Connecticut Ave. NW. $12. (202) 364-0404. cometpingpong.com. —Kevin Carty 32 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 33

Jazz 3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000 SiriusXM presents

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

JULY / AUGUST SHOWS FRI 29 FRI 29 SAT 30

Sat. Nov. 26, 8pm.

THE SUSPECTS DARK & STORMY

DANCE / ELECTRO / RETRO

RUN FOR COVER

A BENEFIT FOR GIRLS ROCK! DC

Warner Theatre, Washington DC

Tickets on sale Fri. 7/29 at 10am through Ticketmaster.com/800-745-3000.

May

July 30

with special guest DAVY

31

4USOCIAL MON 1 REPLAY HANGOVER TUE 2 WED 3 FRI 5 FRI 5 SAT 6

THU 11 FRI 12 SAT 13 FRI 19 SUN 21

HOGWART’S HAPPY HOUR

5 6

THE FLOP HOUSE BURLESQUE (21+) DAN SAVAGE’S

HUMP FILM FESTIVAL

PIEBALD

CHURCH NIGHT (21+)

RIGHT ROUND UP!

THE JULIE RUIN

SPICE WURLD COMEDY TOUR

FEAT.

SASHEER ZAMATA

FRI JUL 29

THE SUSPECTS

MAURA O’CONNELLL & KARAN CASEY THE HOT SARDINES TAB BENOIT BELL WILLIAM & The Total Package Band

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

betheSdA blueS And JAzz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Tribute 2 Merle. 7:30 p.m. $15–$30. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Jazz

echoStAge 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. W&W, Arty. 9 p.m. $30. echostage.com.

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Poncho Sanchez and his Latin Jazz Band. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

FlASh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Idjut Boys, Solomon Sanchez. 8 p.m. $5–$12. flashdc.com.

twinS JAzz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Levon Mikaelian Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

u Street MuSic hAll 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Roni Size, Krust, Dynamite MC. 10 p.m. $15. ustreetmusichall.com.

FuNk & r&B

FuNk & r&B

howArd theAtre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Mousey Thompson’s James Brown Experience. 8 p.m. $25–$45. thehowardtheatre.com.

cArter bArron AMPhitheAtre 4850 Colorado Ave. NW. (202) 426-0486. “Rock The City” benefit concert. 7 p.m. $25. nps.gov.

Fort duPont PArk 1900 Anacostia Drive SE. (202) 426-7723. Warren Wolf, Bliss and Friends, Tony Amall and Friends, DJ Jahsonic. 6 p.m. Free. nps.gov.

suNday rock

boSSA biStro 2463 18th St NW. (202) 667-0088.

Three Man Soul Machine. 9:30 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.

MoNday rock

9:30 club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Broods, Jarryd James. 7 p.m. $27.50. 930.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Kickback, Cold Fronts, Skyline Hotel. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com.

gAlAxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Gulley Jimson Quartet, The Love Load. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

gAlAxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. The Yachtsmen, Alexis and the Samurai. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

the hAMilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Splintered Sunlight. 8 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc. com.

iotA club & cAFé 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington.

(703) 522-8340. Mobley, The Peach Kings, Clones of Clones. 8 p.m. $10. iotaclubandcafe.com.

13

rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Kill Lincoln, Boardroom Heroes, Thirteen Towers, The Holophonics. 7 p.m. $12. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Sax And The City feat.

14

MARION MEADOWS & PAUL TAYLOR JUNIOR BROWN 18 Bonnie 19 PAUL THORN BAND Bishop 20 MARSHALL CRENSHAW’S Big Surprise!

“Tom Wilson’s World” An Evening with

23

DAVID CROSBY KEVIN COSTNER 24 & MODERN WEST 26 THE SMITHEREENS KIM WATERS 27 28 THE OAK RIDGE BOYS Anna & Sept 1 UNCLE EARL Elizabeth 2 THE MANHATTANS GERALD ALSTON

“Twin Twang Rides Again”

BILL KIRCHEN & TOO MUCH FUN and TOM PRINCIPATO BAND 4 SAWYER FREDERICKS MIA Z.

FRI AUG 19

TAKE METRO!

ElEctroNic

couNtry

ELIZABETH COOK Derek Hoke 12 LARRY GRAHAM & GRAHAM CENTRAL STATION

11

3

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

twinS JAzz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Aidan Lombard Group. 9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

eAglebAnk ArenA 4500 Patriot Circle, Fairfax. (703) 993-3000. Julion Alvarez. 7 p.m. $59.00– $149.00. eaglebankarena.com.

Fort reno 3800 Donaldson Place NW. (202) 3556356. Chimp Suit, Split Seconds, Sun Machines. 7 p.m.

Free. fortreno.com.

7

featuring

THE JULIE RUIN

Mr. henry’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Maija Rejman. 8 p.m. Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

World

dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Boogarins, Raindeer. 9 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

WIZARD MOVIE & BUTTERBEER

VITA AND THE WOOLF

KNOWLES

Aug 3&4

SAT 30

PINBALL TOURNAMENT

SAMANTHA FISH

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Poncho Sanchez and his Latin Jazz Band. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

MO’Fire featuring IN GRATITUDE: A Tribute to Earth, Wind & Fire Motown & More: A Tribute to Motown & Soul Legends 9

THE SELDOM SCENE & JONATHAN EDWARDS

10

34 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

classical

kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington International Piano Festival. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

hiP-hoP

echoStAge 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Taylor Gang, DJ Snoopadelic. 10 p.m. $31. echostage.com.

couNtry

kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. invoke. 6 p.m. Free. kennedycenter.org.

Jazz

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Jazzy Blu. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

FuNk & r&B

howArd theAtre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Todrick Hall. 7:30 p.m. $25–$50. thehowardtheatre.com.

JiFFy lube live 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow.

(703) 754-6400. Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa. 7 p.m. $26–$60.75. livenation.com.

CITY LIGHTS: MoNday

a silENt FilM

Oxford, England-based band A Silent Film takes hold of listeners and leads them into a place where anything feels possible with its pulsing, up-tempo pop songs. But despite hailing from one of the world’s oldest college towns, the band isn’t dishing out references to Brideshead Revisited or the Bodleian Library.

Instead, the group sounds like Young the Giant and Animal Kingdom, sweeping audiences away in an electric haze of drums and piano. A Silent Film holds listeners captive with an eclectic blend of introspective lyrics and hypnotizing tales about young lovers, calling on images of glowing lanterns and burgeoning storm clouds. In the video for “Something to Believe In,” the band takes its glowing imagery to another extreme, performing in front of an illuminated neon backdrop. When A Silent Film comes to D.C., it’ll turn Rock & Roll Hotel into a safe place to fall apart and fall together. A Silent Film performs with Gibbz at 8 p.m. at Rock & Roll Hotel, 1353 H St. NE. $16. (202) 388-7625. rockandrollhoteldc.com. —Raye Weigel

tuEsday

ElEctroNic

betheSdA blueS And JAzz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. 1st Tuesday Jam with Gary Grainger and Friends. 8 p.m. $5. bethesdabluesjazz. com.

FuNk & r&B

rock

dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Corbu, The Galaxy Electric. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com. kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Sariyah Idan. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

White Lung, Greys. 8 p.m. $13. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

FlASh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Shift K3y, Cause & Affect. 8 p.m. $15. flashdc.com. betheSdA blueS And JAzz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Nia Simmons, Geneva Renee. 8 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

thursday 9:30 club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Boris, Earth.

8 p.m. $20. 930.com.

couNtry

dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Yip Deceiver, See Through Dresses. 9:30 p.m. $10–$12. dcnine.com.

hill country bArbecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Scott Kurt Duo. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

rock & roll hotel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Elvis Depressedly, Teen Suicide, Nicole Dollangagner, Infinity Crush. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

Jazz

Vocal

WEdNEsday

classical

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. M3—Marcus Mitchell, Marcus Young, and Marcus Anderson. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

hiP-hoP

howArd theAtre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Blackbear, Juice Bruns, bumiCult. 8 p.m. $20–$40. thehowardtheatre.com.

World

boSSA biStro 2463 18th St NW. (202) 667-0088.

Deltas. 9 p.m. Free. bossadc.com. kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Dirceu Melo and the Deltas. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

StrAthMore outdoorS 5301 Tuckerman Lane, Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Cissa Paz. 7 p.m. Free. strathmore.org.

BluEs

boSSA biStro 2463 18th St NW. (202) 667-0088.

Deltas. 9 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.

Jazz

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. EC3 and Friends with Nikki Harris. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com. twinS JAzz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Joe Vetter Quartet. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

J U LY

rock

wolF trAP Filene center 1551 Trap Road, Vienna.

(703) 255-1900. Straight No Chaser. 8 p.m. $25–$50. wolftrap.org.

TH 28

MOLLY RINGWALD

F

THE CHUCK BROWN BAND THE FABULOUS THUNDERBIRDS

29

S 30

FEATURING KIM WILSON + THE BOBBY THOMPSON PROJECT

Fort reno 3800 Donaldson Place NW. (202) 3556356. Washington Bach Consort, Don Zientara, Olivia & the Mates. 7 p.m. Free. fortreno.com.

hiP-hoP

FillMore Silver SPring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Riff Raff. 8 p.m. $20. fillmoresilverspring.com.

SU 31

JiFFy lube live 7800 Cellar Door Drive, Bristow.

(703) 754-6400. G-Eazy, Logic, YG, Yo Gotti. 6:30 p.m. $25–$79.50. livenation.com. verizon center 601 F St. NW. (202) 628-3200. Pitbull, Prince Royce, Farruko. 7 p.m. $29.95–$139.95. verizoncenter.com.

couNtry

hill country bArbecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Oklahoma Twisters. 9 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Mr. henry’S 601 Pennsylvania Ave. SE. (202) 5468412. Snakehead Run Acoustic Jug Band Blues. 8 p.m.

Free. mrhenrysdc.com.

MERLE HAGGARD TRIBUTE AUGUST

T

2

World

boSSA biStro 2463 18th St NW. (202) 667-0088.

Feedel Band. 9 p.m. $10. bossadc.com.

ACCOMPANIED BY DAVE DAMIANI & NO VACANCY ORCHESTRA

THE 1ST TUESDAY JAM W/ GARY GRAINGER AND FRIENDS

W 3 F

5

NIA SIMMONS & GENEVA RENEE TRIBUTE TO THE BEACH BOYS WITH STILL SURFIN’

S 6

FRIENDSHIP TRAIN

CITY LIGHTS: tuEsday

SU 7 T 9

JoNathaN FraNzEN

SECRET SOCIETY KANDACE SPRINGS

W 10 TH 11

JON B ZO! + CARMEN RODGERS LIVE

In addition to his love of birds and hatred of the internet, Jonathan Franzen is known for writing novels thick enough to double as doorstops. Reviewers use adjectives like “sprawling” and talk about wideangled lenses and the panorama he paints across 500-plus pages. In any Franzen novel, readers can expect subplots, large casts of characters intersecting in unexpected ways, and links to pressing contemporary issues.

As Franzen told The Paris Review, “there is the life we think we have… and there’s something else underneath it.” Inevitably, his characters find themselves grappling with global geo-political challenges in the midst of some personal unraveling. Purity, his fifth novel, is no exception. There are anarchists, East Germans, an organization built to reveal the secrets a la Wikileaks, the mystery of the title character’s paternity, and on top of that, a murder. Suffice it to say, a lot happens to the recent college grad who goes by the name Pip as she tries to pay off $130,ooo in student debt. Jonathan Franzen reads at 7 p.m. at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue, 600 I St. NW. $20. (202) 408-3100. sixthandi.org.

—Emily Walz

GLADYS KNIGHT & THE PIPS TRIBUTE

W/ SPECIAL GUEST LEE MO

(SKYBREAK TOUR)

F

12

CINDY BLACKMAN SANTANA

JUST ANNOUNCED

MIKE PETERS OF THE ALARM TH 9/15 NICK COLIONNE SU 10/2 MELBA MOORE W 10/5 GUILTYPLEASURES TH 9/8

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 www. BethesdaBluesJazz.com Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 35

CITY LIGHTS: WEdNEsday

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8.4 8.5 8.6 8.9 8.12 8.13 8.14 8.18 8.20 8.25 8.27 9.1 9.2 9.4 9.16 9.22 9.24 9.29 10.1 10.4 10.13 10.21 10.29 11.5 12.4

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Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro 36 july 29, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

When accepting the 1992 Tony Award for Best Actor in a Musical, tap dance icon Gregory Hines praised Jelly’s Last Jam book writer and director George C. Wolfe for bringing “to the American musical stage a musical dealing with African-American issues that doesn’t find us happy and dancing all the time, where we try to say something about the condition, where we try to say some things that we don’t see on the stage.” The musical biography of jazz pioneer Jelly Roll Morton features singing and dancing, but it also dives deep into the origins of jazz as a musical tradition as well as dark periods from the artist’s past. At Signature Theatre, acclaimed local jazz pianist Mark G. Meadows plays Morton, giving the production a more reserved, less zazzle-y quality.

Meanwhile, bringing the story of Morton’s life to the D.C. area makes plenty of sense: In 1935, he moved to the District to run a bar and nightclub at 1211 U St. NW, where Ben’s Next Door now operates. The musical runs Aug. 2 to Sept. 11 at Signature Theatre, 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. $40–$79. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

—Caroline Jones

Jazz

blueS Alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 337-4141.

Freddy Cole. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. kennedy center MillenniuM StAge 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Kia Bennett. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. twinS JAzz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Brendan Schnabel. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

Books

AnnA noyeS The author, a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, reads from her first book, Goodnight, Beautiful Women, a collection of short stories set on the coast of Maine. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. July 30 6 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919.

JeFFrey toobin The prolific author and New Yorker staff writer discusses his latest book about celebrity crime, American Heiress: The Kidnapping, Crimes, and Trial of Patty Hearst. Politics & Prose. 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 2 7 p.m. Free. (202) 364-1919.

JonAthAn FrAnzen The author celebrates the paperback release of his latest novel, Purity, by discussing his work with journalist Marcela Valdes. Sixth & I Historic Synagogue. 600 I St. NW. Aug. 2 7 p.m. $20. (202) 408-3100. liz Moore In Moore’s The Unseen World, a young girl trained at her father’s computer science lab in 1980s Boston works to retrieve his memory and save his work when his health starts to fail. Kramerbooks & Afterwords Cafe. 1517 Connecticut Ave. NW. Aug. 3 6:30 p.m. Free. (202) 387-1400.

Theater

99: A rock oPerA A government employee tasked with overseeing a group of protesters in a city park struggles to accept his political values and romantic challenges in this rock opera inspired by the Occu-

py movement. Presented by local theater group DC Dogs, the production is produced and directed

by Jonathan Zuck. Silver Spring Black Box Theatre.

8641 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. To July 31 $15.

Jelly’S lASt JAM Jazz pianist Mark G. Meadows plays the title role in this musical biography of pioneering jazz artist Jelly Roll Morton, portraying the highs and lows of his career and personal life. Signature Theatre favorite Matthew Gardiner directs this lively production that features songs like “That’s How You Jazz” and “Good Ole New York.” Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Sep. 11 $40–$79. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

JuMAnJi On a dull day, Judy and Peter find a mysterious old board game. One live lion, an erupting volcano, and some destructive monkeys later, the children are plunged into an experience they’ll never forget.

Will they ever finish this mysterious magic game and claim Jumanji? Serge Seiden directs this performance for audiences of all ages adapted from Chris Van Allsburg’s classic picture book. Adventure Theatre MTC. 7300 MacArthur Blvd., Glen Echo. To Aug. 28 $19.50.

(301) 634-2270. adventuretheatre-mtc.org. the MerchAnt oF venice Jonathan Pryce stars as Shylock in this production of the Bard’s classic comparison of tolerance and intolerance, originally presented at Shakespeare’s Globe in London in 2015.

Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To July 30 $69–$120. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. the PhAntoM oF the oPerA The longest-running musical in Broadway history, which tells the story of a mysterious masked man who haunts a Paris theater, returns to the Kennedy Center in an all-new production that retains all the classic songs, including “Music of the Night” and “All I Ask of You.” Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To Aug. 20 $25–$149.

(202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. redder blood Dawn Ursula and Jenna Sokolowski star in this drama by Helen Pafumi about a woman who hears the voice of God and, when her life starts to crumble, finally considers listening. The Hub Theatre at John Swayze Theatre. 9431 Silver King Court, Fairfax. To July 31 $20–$30. (703) 674-3177. thehubtheatre.org. the Second city’S AlMoSt AccurAte guide to AMericA The acclaimed Chicago-based comedy troupe presents a new show full of silly takes on U.S. history and thoughts on the way America sees

itself in the world. Kennedy Center Theater Lab. 2700 F St. NW. To July 31 $49–$65. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

in New York City in this reboot of the 1984 supernatural comedy. Directed by Paul Feig. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

wAShington iMProv theAter PreSentS SuMMer cAMP Washington Improv Theater invites you to choose any bunk you want during Summer Camp—a five-week series of shows from its company ensembles and special guests from across the city. Summer Camp will also feature a reboot of Die! Die! Die!, an improvised slasher movie that’s much funnier (but even more dangerous) than Friday the 13th’s Camp Crystal Lake. Washington Improv Theater at Source.

1835 14th St. NW. To Aug. 6 $12–$30. (202) 204-7770. washingtonimprovtheater.com.

JASon bourne Matt Damon returns to the role of the titular amnesiac spy, who attempts to recover his past while fighting off a new program that attempts to hunt him down. Co-starring Alicia Vikander, Tommy Lee Jones, and Julia Stiles. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

we know how you die! Members of the Upright Citizens Brigade bring a brand-new improvised show to Woolly Mammoth in which they predict how your life will end. The results will be funny but they might not be pretty. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To July 31 $20–$75. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

Film

bAd MoMS Three overworked and overtired mothers decide to temporarily take a break from parenting and during their weekend of debauchery, face off against a crew of so-called “good moms” in this dirty comedy from directors Jon Lucas and Scott Moore. Starring Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, and Kristen Bell. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information). tuliP Fever A painter falls in love with a young woman when he is sent to document a 17th-century Dutch tulip festival in this costume drama from director Justin Chadwick. Starring Christoph Waltz, Alicia Vikander, and Cara Delevingne. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information). cAFe Society Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart star in Woody Allen’s new comedy about a young man who gets wrapped up in the lives of socialites on both coasts. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

StAr trek beyond Kirk, Spock, Sulu, and Uhura travel through space again in the latest film from director Justin Lin. In this story, the USS Enterprise crew must take down a new enemy that threatens to destroy the Federation. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information).

AbSolutely FAbulouS: the Movie Patsy and Edina are back and hiding in the South of France in this film adaptation of Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley’s popular British sitcom. Directed by Mandie Fletcher. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

ice Age: colliSion courSe The animated animals from this popular film series return for a fifth go-round and this time, they have to prevent a meteor from striking Earth. Featuring the voices of Ray Romano, Queen Latifah, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Denis Leary. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

nerve A teenage girl gets dragged into an online game of truth or dare and struggles to emerge from it in this psychological thriller from directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman. Starring Emma Roberts and Dave Franco. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information).

ghoStbuSterS Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Kristen Wiig, and Leslie Jones team up to fight ghouls

Film clips by Caroline Jones.

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Boris

Every now and then, a dissonant band makes an album so polarizing it crosses over into the mainstream. Toronto hardcore punk outfit Fucked Up did it in 2011 with its experimental rock opera David Comes to Life, and shoegazey black metal band Deafheaven did it with 2013’s Sunbather. But before Fucked Up and Deafheaven, there was Japan’s Boris, whose 2005 classic Pink remains one of the finest examples of heavy music pushing through genre conventions into an entirely new sonic realm. Huge, sludgy riffs collide with post-rock, black metal, drone, and stoner metal influence to create a unique album that polarized the metal world when it was released.

Ten years later, L.A. label Sargent House is reissuing Pink along with nearly an album’s worth of B-sides and unreleased tracks, and to celebrate, the band is hitting the road to play the seminal album in its entirety. Reunion and album anniversary tours seem a bit played out by now, but this is a rare opportunity to see a band perform an album that literally changed the way we think about metal music. That’s worth celebrating. Boris performs with Earth at 7 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $20. (202) 265-0930. 930.com.

—Matt Cohen

DC

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Legals Mechanics’ Lien: 2015 DODGE VIN# 2C3CDXBG6FH722229.

Sale to be held 8/1/16 at 11:45 a.m. on the premises of COLLISION AUTOBODY, 7229 LANDOVER RD, HYATTSVILLE, MD 20785.

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Legals SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2016 ADM 000736

SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2016 ADM 000729

Name of Decedent, NADEJDA NIKITINA

Name of Decedent, Yevgenyi A. Scherban

Name and Address of Attorney, George A. Lambert, Esq, 1025 Connecticut Ave, NW #1000, Washington, DC 20036

Name and Address of Attorney, George A. Lambert, Esq, 1025 Connecticut Ave, NW #1000, Washington, DC 20036

Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Deborah Ann Trudel, whose address is 2221 NE 35 Ct. Lighthouse Point, FL 33064 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of NADEJDA NIKITINA, who died on November 3, 1996, without a Will and will serve with Court Supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose wherabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, onFIND or before YOUR1/28/2017.

OUTLET. Claims against the decedent shall be preRELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT sented to the undersigned with a CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ copy to the Register of Wills or to the Register of Wills with a copy MIND, BODY & SPIRIT to the undersigned, on or before http://www.washington1/28/2017, or be forever barred. citypaper.com/ Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship.

Date of first publication: 7/28/2016 Name of Newspaper and/or periodical: Washington City Paper/ DWLR Name of Person Representative: Deborah Ann Trudel.

TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: July 28, August 4, 11.

Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Deborah Ann Trudel, whose address is 2221 NE 35 Ct. Lighthouse Point, FL 33064 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Yevgenyi A. Scherban, who died on November 3, 1996, without a Will and will serve with Court Supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose wherabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 1/14/2017. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or to the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 1/14/2017, or be forever barred.

Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship.

Date of first publication: 7/14/2016 http://www.washingtonciName of Newspaper and/or peritypaper.com/ odical: Washington City Paper/ DWLR Name of Person Representative: Deborah Ann Trudel.

TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister http://www.washingtRegister of Wills oncitypaper.com/ Pub Dates: July 14, 21, 28.

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Legals IN THE FAMILY COURT OF THE FIFTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT DOCKET NO. 2015-DR-40-3584 SUMMONS AND NOTICE BY PUBLICATION STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA COUNTY OF RICHLAND SOUTH CAROLINA DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES, PLAINTIFF, vs. Tiffany D Staples, Angela Staples, Corey L Bright, Steven Kerns DEFENDANTS. IN THE INTEREST OF: Harmony A Staples (2009) Minor(s) Under the Age of 18 years TO: STEVEN KERNS YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED and required to answer the Complaint concerning the minor children above and that you have failed to contact the agency in regards to your whereabouts in this action, the original of which has been filed in the offi ce of the Richland County Clerk of Court, on September 24, 2015 at 4:16 PM, a copy of which will be delivered to you upon request; and to serve a copy of your answer to said Complaint upon the undersigned attorney for the Plaintiff at her offi ce at 3220 Two Notch Road, Columbia, SC 29204, within 30 days of service upon you, exclusive of the day of such service; and if you fail to answer said Complaint within the statutory time allotted, the Plaintiff in this action will apply to the Court for the relief demanded in Said Complaint. A hearing has been scheduled for September 8, 2016 at 11:00 AM. Wendy Bowen, SC Bar No. 71742 FINDMoore, YOURSC OUTLET. Sheryl Bar No. 66402 Attorney(s) for PlaintiffREPEAT RELAX, UNWIND, 3220 Two Notch Rd. CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ Columbia, SC 29204 MIND, BODYphone & SPIRIT (803) 714-7392 (803) 714-7303 fax http://www.washingtonJuly _______, 2016 citypaper.com/ Columbia, South Carolina

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SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2016 ADM 791 Name of Decedent, Carolyn Blanchard Samuels Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to UnHeirs, Wendell Samuels, whose known Heirs, Susan Y. Bennett, address is 5362 Smooth Meadwhose address is 129-133 West ow Way, Unit 4, Columbia, MD 147th Street, #20L, New York, NY 21044, was appointed Personal 10039 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Representative of the estate of Carolyn Blanchard Samuels who Lee Ella C. Hoaney who died died on May 31, 2016 without a on 11/23/2015 with a Will and Will and will serve without Court without Court supervision. All supervision. all unknown heirs unknown heirs and heirs whose and heirs whose whereabouts are whereabouts are unknown shall unknown shall enter their appearenter their appearance in this ance in this proceeding. Objecproceeding. Objections to such tions to such appointment shall appointment (or to the probate be filed With the Register of Wills, of decedent’s Will) shall be filed D.C., Building A, 515 5th Street, With the Register of Wills, D.C., N.W., 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. Building A, 515 5th Street, N.W., 20001, on or before 01/28/2017.

3rd Floor, Washington D.C. Claims against the decedent shall 20001, on or before 01/14/2017. be presented to the undersigned Claims against the decedent shall with a copy to the Register of Wills be presented to the undersigned or filed with the Register of Wills with a copy to the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or filed with the Register of Will or before 01/28/2017, or forever with a copy to the undersigned, on be barred. persons believed to be or before 01/14/2017, or forever heirs or legatees of the decedent be barred. Persons believed to be who do not receive a copy of this http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ heirs or notice by mail within 25 days of legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this its publication shall inform the notice by mail within 25 days of Register of Wills, including name, its publication shall so inform the address and relationship. Date Register of Wills, including name, of first publication: 07/28/2016. address and relationship.

Personal Representative: Wendell Samuels. TRUE TEST COPY /s/ Date of first publication: ANNE MEISTER Register of Wills 7/14/2016 Name of newspaper and/or peName of newspaper/periodical: riodical: DWLR, WASHINGTON CITY PAPER. Pub Dates: July 28, August DWLR 4, 11, 2016.

Washington City Paper Personal Representative: Susan Y. Bennett Condos for Sale TRUE TEST copy Anne Meister Register of Wills Pub Dates: July 14, 21, 28.

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Rooms for Rent

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Puzzle THIS TIME IT’S PERSONAL

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OutAcross with the old, In with 1the new Post “Disgusting” your5listing Cuban with output?

8 Lite in calories Washington City 13 Amazon voicePaper Classifieds

12 Instructors working on degrees: Abbr.

14 Crush, e.g.

21 “Brother!”

22 Pumping stuff 25 Pneumonia medicine 26 Folk singer Iris 27 They may be picked up at the bar 28 Enjoying a staycation 29 Excavate 31 One of the woodwinds 32 Talk show host Ingraham 34 Great Leap Forward figure 36 Right field?

37 Scoring stats 40 Compete (for) 41 Some large bra sizes 46 “Ideas worth spreading” conference 48 Space race?

51 Take in, as a stray 53 Cajun veggie 54 Gag shared on social media 55 Gelato topping 56 It can show you your inner self 57 Vehicle with a bar, maybe 58 Union persona non grata 59 Small shot 60 Davis Love ___ 61 Publish personal information on the internet with malicious intent, and theme of this puzzle

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sleep with all http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ those yaks”?

42 Egg-shaped activated http://www.washingtoncity43 Gospel singer paper.com/ assistants Campbell 15 Sheriff Arpaio 44 Finalize, as 16 “Nixon in a contract China,” e.g.

45 Least little bit 17 Texas grassy 47 Sch. whose plain mascot is Sparky 18 Broadcast the Sun Devil 19 Placemat 48 Isn’t quiet puzzles on the set 20 Ruling on 49 Bugler in whether it’s the forest kosher to go back 50 Tazo stuff in time and kill 52 ___ -sci your grandfather?

54 Brangelina’s 23 “Ask me in a bit” son’s abilities?

24 Paradise of 59 Bowl next On the Road to a toilet 25 Put two and 62 Oft-shot down two together Catch-22 pilot 28 Sparkling 63 Pot buried wine name underground 30 Tenn. athlete 64 Eco-community 33 Almost boil 65 Samosa veggie 35 Ninth word of 66 Jung’s feminine the Lord’s Prayer side tp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ 36 Steel-enforcing 67 High rolls bar in concrete 68 Show and tell 38 Watts of item, sometimes Hollywood 69 One whose opinions are better than yours

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OVING? FIND A PING HAND TODAY Out with the old, In with

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FIND YOUR OUTLET. 30RELAX, 31 UNWIND, 32 33 REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ 37 MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

Volunteer Services Butterfl y Pavilion/Insect Zoo Volunteers needed at the National Museum of Natural History!

Handle real arthropods! Talk to Museum Visitors! Training in September! Email NMNHVolunteer@si.edu to apply and interview today!

Miscellaneous Clearance sale great bikes (Schwinn), $40. Also available art materials paints, easel, frames, canvas, stretchers, spray, etc.

Some cheap, some free. Call Chester, 202-520-7164, call to come look at items.

Cars/Trucks/SUVs 9

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Bicycles/Scooters Folding Citizen Bike mint condition, never been driven, $175.

202-270-3434.

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1 Reviewing website 2 James Franco’s alma mater 3 Volunteer’s job 4 Contra video game company 5 Trojan War warrior 6 Potter’s stuff 7 “___ what I think” 8 San Bernardino suburb 9 Black stone 10 Cap with a tassel 11 “___ you interested?”

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Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, info@wacdtf.org.

Twitter: @wacdtf Q?rius jr./Q?rius Volunteers needed at the National Museum of Natural History! Engage visitors with over 6,000 museum in these interactive spaces! Training in September! Email NMNHVolunteer@si.edu to apply now!

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Licensed Massage & Spas

Out with the old, In with the new Post your listing with Washington RELAXING SOOTHING MASSAGE Jazz Under The Stars - free festiPeople come to me for my gentleCity val featuring three Paper bands, Satur- Classifieds ness and knowledge of the body.

day, August 6th, 6:30 - 11:30 http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ I listen to your needs and presRoosevelt Plaza and New Deal ent the massage appropriate for Cafe in Greenbelt, MD. Featuring them. Reduce your stress, relax vocalist Sharon Raquel (stanyour mind, energize your body dards), Night Sky Ensemble and restore your balance. Private (straight ahead & fusion), and 4 offi ce in the Palisades. MacArthur Tha Gruv (smooth jazz). AdditionBlvd., NW, DC. Outcalls welcome. al details: http://preppert.wix.

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General com REQUEST FOR QUOTES Laptops The Carlos Rosario School is looking for competitive prices for 130 new laptops with the following minimum configuration: Intel Core i5 CPU (6th generation) Dual?core Processor; Minimum 8 Gb Memory; Internal Storage Minimum 500 Gb HDD; Optical Drive DVD +/? RW; Interfaces Gigabit LAN and 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac wireless capability, USB, audio, HDMI; Screen Display Ratio 16:9; Webcam built?in; Other features that can be included in the quote that are optional: Touchscreen capability; Extended warranty.

All quotes must be submitted via email to Gwen Ellis at gellis@carlosrosario.org no later than Friday, August 5, 20016 by 5:00pm

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Learn about t-shirt printing in DC www.heatwaveshirts.com

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ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE – ADVERTISING SALES Washington City Paper has an immediate opening for an outside sales position responsible for selling and servicing our advertising and media partner clients across our complete line of marketing solutions including print advertising in Washington City Paper, digital/online advertising on washingtoncitypaper.com and across our Digital Ad Network, as well as event sponsorship sales.

In addition to selling and servicing existing accounts, Account Executives are responsible for generating and selling new business revenue by finding new leads, utilizing a consultative sales approach, and making compelling presentations.

You must have the ability to engage, enhance, and grow direct relationships with potential clients and identify their advertising and marketing needs. You must be able to prepare and present custom sales presentations with research and sound solutions for those needs. You must think creatively for clients and be consistent with conducting constant follow-up. Extensive in-person & telephone prospecting is required. Your major focus will be on developing new business through new customer acquisition and selling new marketing solutions to existing customer accounts. Account Executives, on a weekly basis, perform in person calls to a minimum of 10-20 executive level decision makers and/or small business owners and must be able to communicate Washington City Papers value proposition that is solution-based and differentiates us from any competitors. Account Executive will be responsible for attaining sales goals and must communicate progress on goals and the strategies and tactics used to reach revenue targets to Washington City Paper management.

Qualifications, background, and disposition of the ideal candidate for this position include: • Two years of business to business and outside customer sales experience • Experience developing new territories & categories including lead generation and cold calling • Ability to carry and deliver on a sales budget • Strong verbal and written communication skills • Able to work both independently and in a team environment • Energetic, self-motivated, possessing an entrepreneurial spirit and strong work ethic • Organized, detail and results oriented with professional presentation abilities • Willing to embrace new technology and social media • MS Office suite proficiency - prior experience with a CMR/CMS software application • Be driven to succeed, tech savvy, and a world class listener • Enjoy cultivating relationships with area businesses We offer product training, a competitive compensation package comprised of a base salary plus commissions, and a full array of benefits including medical/dental/life/disability insurance, a 401K plan, and paid time off including holidays.

Compensation potential has no limits – we pay based on performance.

For consideration please send an introduction letter and resume to Melanie Babb at mbabb@washingtoncitypaper.com.

No phone calls please.

washingtoncitypaper.com july 29, 2016 39

Events DC & Washington City Paper’s

SUMMER

CINEMA SERIES Presented by RCN

Seating begins at 6:30 PM CARNEGIE LIBRARY EAST LAWN TUESDAYS July 19 Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice July 26 Bridesmaids August 5 (Friday) Back to the Future

Movies begin at dusk

WEDNESDAYS

DC ARMORY MALL THURSDAYS

June 29 Star Wars: The Force Awakens

June 30 Creed

July 6 Jurassic World

July 7 Rudy

July 13 Minions

July 14 Happy Gillmore

July 20 Aladdin

July 21 Cool Runnings

July 27 The Good Dinosaur

July 28 A League of Their Own

GATEWAY

August 3 Love Under New Management: The Miki Howard Story

CITYPAPER WASHINGTON

Visit washingtoncitypaper.com/events for more information *Moviegoers are encouraged to bring a blanket Movies are subject to change.