Washington City Paper (October 28, 2016)

CITYPAPER Washington Washington

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INSIDE 14 the horror issue

Illustrations by Stephanie Rudig Photograph by Darrow Montgomery

4 Chatter DistriCt Line

7 Crane Spotter: How a Georgetown law professor became a cult construction blogger 8 Moving the Goalposts: Developers and D.C. United make nice, but neighbors are still arena shy.

10 Wither St. Elizabeths: The week the city-run hospital was without water.

11 Unobstructed View 12 Buy D.C.: This is Halloween 13 Gear Prudence

D.C. FeeD 19 Young & Hungry: Scotland’s surprising impact on local distilling started with George Washington.

20 Shaw’s Christmas Bar: A by-the-numbers look at the popular pop-up.

20 ’Wiching Hour: Simit sandwich, Simit + Smith 20 Are You Gonna Drink That: BLT Steak’s FoieNominal Cocktail

arts

23 Picture Imperfect: A National Galley of Art exhibition aims to reveal how photography has evolved over 30 years.

24 Short Subjects: Gittell on The Handmaiden, Zilberman on Moonlight, Olszewski on The Best Democracy Money Can Buy 28 Speed Reads: Ottenberg on Michelle Brafman’s Bertrand Court

City List 31 City Lights: Catch “Weird Al” Yankovic at the Lincoln Theatre Sunday.

31 Music 35 Theater 37 Film

38 CLassiFieDs Diversions 39 Crossword

“We’re not NIMBYs, but for Christ’s sake if you’re going to do it, do it right.”

—Page 8

Luce Unplugged LU C E U N P LU G G E D | C O M M U N I T Y S H O W C A S E

Friday, November 4 | 6–8 p.m. | Free Explore the Luce Center’s thousands of artworks while listening to sets by local bands, Katie Alice Greer and Hand Grenade Job, selected with the help of the Washington City Paper’s arts editor, Matt Cohen. Enjoy a free tasting with Bold Rock Hard Cider. Libations and snacks will be available for purchase from a cash bar.

Presented with the Washington City Paper.

8th and G Streets, NW | Washington DC | AmericanArt.si.edu

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 3

CHATTER

In which readers lament the flaws of gentrification.

Cultural Poverty

Darrow MontgoMery

PerhaPs the most apt response to last week’s cover story (“End of an Alley,” Oct. 21), in which Matt Cohen chronicled how longtime Bladgen Alley artist and arts promoter Bill Warrell came to be priced out of his studio, came from @old_time_DC: “DC owes Bill Warrell a lot— and so we take another step closer to expensive, well-fed cultural poverty.” That’s about the size of it.

Warrell helped transform the micro-neighborhood where he can no longer afford the rent, bringing in arts and culture and performers to which the District would otherwise not have been exposed. His reward, of course, is to be displaced by juice bars, expensive coffee joints, and potential tenants with deeper pockets. Warrell’s story represents a cautionary tale for the entire District: Gentrification doesn’t just expunge exposed needles and pimps, or the fouled hulls of once-proud warehouses. Sometimes it takes what we’d like to keep too. “Great story on many levels—fine observations on the general course of urban redevelopment in DC,” @DCPEST wrote. “RIP, Blagden Alley. I knew ye well,” James Sharper (@bigheadgenius) tweeted. “This is an excellent and sad telling of DC’s art history and what could have been,” Erin Auel (@eauel) responded. “Blagden Alley, home to DC’s underground art scene, loses its artists to high rents,” Greater Greater Washington (@ggwash) wrote on Twitter. And this from Dan Zak (@MrDanZak): “Artists, like Ethiopian restaurants, are being purged by the development they helped to incite.” Of course, there is always an outlier. “Mr. Warrell sounds like a very interesting and talented artist. But, it is sad that the author ... uses Mr. Warrell and his brave struggle to overcome his handicap to dishonestly make his case against gentrification,” Zip wrote. “The neighborhood in question was a total shithole in the 1980s and early 90s. By the author’s own admission, the alley was a ‘dumping ground for small contractors’ and a place where ‘drug dealers and transgender prostitutes would hang out.’ This was on top of being a place where it was not ‘uncommon to find bodies’ of ‘drug or prostitution deals gone south.’ Are we saying that the high priced lattes and hipsters that we see in the alley today are so much worse than that? Give me a break!”

—Liz Garrigan

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4 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 5

MICHELIN STAR

6 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

MICHELIN BIB GOURMAND

DistrictLine Crane Spotter

By Amanda Kolson Hurley Wallace Mlyniec, the Lupo-Ricci Professor of Clinical Legal Studies at Georgetown Law School, has devoted his career to defending the rights of young people accused of crimes. He led Georgetown’s Juvenile Justice Clinic for four decades, receiving prestigious awards for his work.

But there’s another side to 71-year-old Mlyniec: He is fascinated by everything to do with buildings. Over the years, as he mentored future attorneys, Mlyniec (pronounced “Milenick”) accrued a vast knowledge of architecture, construction, and Washington lore on the side.

He shares this knowledge in “Construction Notes,” updates about buildings-in-progress that have become cult reading material. The typical note might run eight or 10 pages. It starts with a status report on a construction project on or near the Georgetown Law campus and warnings about noise or other disruptions. Then it plunges into the mechanics of a building technique or a colorful episode in D.C. history. There are lots of links and images and usually a short bibliography at the end.

Sometimes research assistants help Mlyniec compile the information.

Between Georgetown students, staff, and Mlyniec’s personal friends, close to 3,000 people receive Construction Notes by email (they’re also posted online). Each one has a title and a theme. Not tempted by “Swamps and Sewers?”

Try “Caissons and Slurry Walls.” Then chase it with “Caissons and Slurry Walls II.” Although his writing is full of technical arcana, Mlyniec doesn’t get bogged down in that.

He ranges across centuries and continents in his descriptions of how pile drivers work or why builders celebrate “topping off ” a new structure (answer: the tradition comes from ancient tree-topping ceremonies to appease the gods).

“He has this uncanny knack for pursuing a question in a way that is just so interesting,” says Judith Areen, a Georgetown Law professor and the school’s former dean. “I can still remember one of his early notes on concrete. Who ever thought about concrete? He went back to how it was developed in ancient times.”

Mlyniec, who lives on Capitol Hill, grew up in the suburbs of Chicago. He remembers taking

ConCrete Details

the L downtown as a boy to look at buildings. (“If you grow up in Chicago, you can’t ignore the architecture around you.”) He went to college at Northwestern and watched as workers filled in a lake for a campus expansion. But he put that interest on hold as he embarked on law school at Georgetown and then an academic career.

In 1973, Georgetown Law hired him as its first-ever clinical instructor. Two years earlier, the small school had moved into a building, McDonough Hall, off New Jersey Avenue NW, in a neighborhood east of downtown that all but the Salvation Army and flophouse hotels deserted. (The Georgetown Law Center is separate from the undergraduate campus, and not in Georgetown at all.)

The school grew, and before long, McDonough was overcrowded. Mlyniec joined the committee to plan for a larger campus. His interest in buildings was renewed.

At first, he channeled it into professional validation. This was the era when the legal establishment sniffed at clinical law as intellectually unserious, hippie do-gooderism. Clinical faculty were working in spillover space off-campus. Mlyniec realized they needed to be on campus to win respect. “The law school would not accept clinical faculty unless they could see us,” he says. (By 1989, his clinic had settled into an expanded McDonough Hall.)

Mlyniec had a big hand in the campus that grew around him, becoming the law school’s point person for architects and construction managers. “I think in another life, he would have become an architect,” Areen says. He started writing Construction Notes in 2002, chronicling the build-out of the school’s international law and sports centers.

Originally, the idea was simply to alert people to inconveniences during construction. There was going to be noise early in the morning, and students and professors would be annoyed. “In order to keep a lid on the complaints, I thought this was a good idea,” he recalls.

So he started writing. “Everything just exploded after that,” he says. “I couldn’t put my pen down.”

As the notes became more ambitious, people from as far afield as Indiana and California asked to be added to his mailing list. In 2006, a small press managed by one of Mlyniec’s friends published a collection of the notes as a book. Mlyniec describes this period as prob-

Darrow Montgomery

How a Georgetown law professor became a cult construction blogger.

ably the happiest years of his life.

Building the two campus centers was a major enterprise. But those structures seem like baubles compared to Capitol Crossing, the current $1.3 billion project to erect a sevenacre deck over a sunken stretch of I-395 between 2nd and 3rd Streets NW, from Massachusetts Avenue to E Street, reconnecting the divided East End neighborhood.

Years ago, craving a hands-on role with a major infrastructure project, Mlyniec tried unsuccessfully to embed himself with the team building the new Woodrow Wilson Bridge.

Then Capitol Crossing came along—a perfect fit. Mlyniec is Georgetown Law’s liaison with the developers and the city on the megaproject, which won’t be finished until at least 2021.

He has written more than 20 notes on Capitol Crossing, touching on the geology of the Atlantic Coastal Plain; the life of 19th-century Washington politico Alexander “Boss” Shepherd; the invention of the steam-driven steel hammer; and much more.

One note explains that the I-395 ditch next to campus is a remnant of the postwar Center Leg Freeway, which displaced 1,600 residents but was abandoned partway through.

Another retraces the journey made by the steel girders that will support the Capitol Crossing deck: from a mill in North Carolina, to a flatbed truck, to a crane, and finally onto col-

umns over the roadway.

Carole Wedge, president of Shepley Bulfinch, the Boston architecture firm that designed Georgetown’s international law and sports centers, says she always learns new things from the notes. When they worked together, Wedge was so impressed by Mlyniec (“his inquisitiveness is really quite remarkable”) that she hired him as a consultant, and he advised on the design of a law school building at Marquette University in Milwaukee.

If you visit Mlyniec on the Georgetown Law campus, he’ll take you to the top of Gewirz Residence Hall, where you can look down on Capitol Crossing. It’s an incredible vista of labor: cranes, backhoes, stacks of lumber and pipes, and workers in fluorescent vests crawling over the site like ants. Not everyone geeks out to this stuff the way Mlyniec does. But his writing unlocks what is easy to forget as we go about our daily routines—that modern city building is pretty awe-inspiring.

“Unless you practice construction or real estate law, you will probably never have a chance to view a project as massive as this so close up,” Mlyniec told readers in a 2015 note, “Pile Driving and Lagging Boards.” “I encourage you to take a few minutes … to step outside and watch the work. This combination of human labor, machinery, and technology shows us the immense capacity of the human imagination.”

CP

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 7

DistrictLinE Moving the Goalposts

By Andrew Giambrone Unless yoU’re driving or in an Uber, getting to the site of the future D.C. United arena is a colossal pain. The spot where the 19,000seat stadium will rise is about a 20-minute walk from both the Waterfront and Navy Ya r d – B a l l p a r k Metro stations. On top of its relatively remote location, there’s not a whole lot to do in the area once you arrive. It can feel like you’re on the very edge of the District, or in the part of town where you might have concentrated industry in a game of SimCity.

This is Buzzard Point, one of the most isolated corners of D.C. In less than two years, the Major League Soccer franchise and the District government aim to open a facility here that will replace Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium as United’s home field. The team’s target date is “late spring 2018,” partly because of the region’s fickle weather in March, when the MLS regular season begins.

Last year, the District exercised eminent domain to gain control of two acres of land needed for the project, just as it did more than a decade ago to redevelop 14 acres into Nationals Park. City contractors completed pre-construction and infrastructure improvements this month, accounting for $150 million in public investment in the stadium.

D.C. United was poised to start building the facility, having hired Turner Construction during the summer. But companies that control parcels south of the arena site—on an area bounded by Potomac Avenue and Second, T, and R streets SW—protested the latest design.

They pointed to what they viewed as a shortage of retail space and issues with accessibility.

It seemed like a squabble over architectural planning could have tied up the project, which the District has promised will produce nearly 1,000 jobs and “$1 billion in economic activity” over the next few decades. But United, Mayor Muriel Bowser’s administration, and the developers, headed by local firm Akridge, met last Friday to work out a solution.

While its specifics haven’t been shared publicly, documents filed with the D.C. Zoning Commission this week indicate that the parties have brokered an “agreeable” deal.

So have all the vested interests made nice?

Adam Gooch, Akridge’s director of development, says in a statement that the site’s insti-

housing complex

tutional neighbors were “encouraged by the recent design changes the team is pursuing to make the stadium a better fit for the neighborhood.” He adds that if revised plans submitted to the zoning commission for upcoming review “are consistent with the ones we have recently seen, there will be no need for us to testify at [a Nov. 28 zoning] hearing.” Just three weeks ago, the companies had threatened “to actively contest” United’s plans “and seek to have the Zoning Commission compel … changes,” hiring alternative architects and a PR firm.

Developers looking to maximize their longterm profits from building in Buzzard Point, however, aren’t the only ones who have had concerns about the project. Community activists and residents say it could contribute to gentrification and pollution, disproportionately affecting low-income people who live south of P Street SW and east of Fort McNair. And they have many questions about the stadium’s impact on transit and parking.

Keya Chatterjee, who directs US Climate Action Network and has lived a few blocks northwest of the stadium site for almost 14 years, says she’s mostly worried about how visitors will enter and exit Buzzard Point. “We just don’t have a lot of ways in and out of that area, and it doesn’t seem like there’s been a very thoughtful consideration of [existing infrastructure],” she says. on a bright day in April, when United and District officials held a groundbreaking ceremony for the project, a handful of residents organized by advocacy group Empower DC demonstrated on Second Street SW. Some wore breathing masks, manifesting anxieties about exposure to contaminants from the site.

(A nearby Pepco substation is expanding and a concrete facility operates on the peninsula, too.) A District-ordered health impact study released over a month ago and past environmental reports about the project haven’t necessarily calmed such fears.

Last week, a group called the Near Buzzard Point Residential Advisory Committee filed a statement in opposition to the arena, citing “gentrification pressures” such as likely “increase[d] property taxes and rents.” “We are facing direct displacement due to this project,” they noted.

Kari Fulton, a member of the group and an organizer with Empower DC, says residents are especially concerned about dirt unleashed during soil remediation and construction. They’re

8 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Darrow Montgomery/File

While developers and D.C. United make nice, neighbors push back on specifics of a planned stadium in Southwest.

asking for safeguards like air purifiers, dust mats, and an independent community health liaison.

“They don’t think that [they have a place in the future of the city] at all,” she says. “The response I get from a lot of people about going to the zoning commission hearing is: ‘We testified with the [Pepco] substation and other projects, they’re not hearing us.’ So we have to fight for inclusion.”

United and the District insist that the stadium will benefit the existing community and that streets will be improved to bolster mobility.

“We want to be a positive catalyst in the Buzzard Point area and a positive force for the neighbors,” a team spokeswoman says. She adds that United plans to provide free health screenings to residents in partnership with MedStar.

For ANC 6D Chair Andy Litsky, officials must also be held accountable to “the thousands of residents who live north of the stadium site.” Earlier this month, the ANC unanimously passed a resolution containing a litany of ongoing concerns with the project, which it has generally supported “contingent upon a clearly defined and unambiguous transportation plan.” Litsky says the intent was to document neighbors’ thinking about the facility in the context of other changes floated for

Southwest that could one day result in thousands more residents in Buzzard Point.

The ANC explicitly objects to the “forced removal of housing” to construct the arena and create sufficient access to it. Commissioners voted to oppose approval of the planned development by zoning officials until United and the District “adequately address” the issues they’ve outlined. A spokesman for the Bowser administration says the project is “about putting District residents first.”

But, Litsky explains, “It’s not just the anchor, it’s the predicate” for development in Buzzard Point. “So we want to make sure that at no point in our potential advocacy and embrace of this plan for a soccer stadium are we then also accepting the notion that to get there, we are tacitly approving destruction and removal of people—not just in public housing but in owned residential housing.

The project is a big deal in the community, he adds, but not so much because of its appearance. “You have to have a safe stadium and safe access to and from the stadium. What it looks like is of little concern to me. … We’re not NIMBYs, but for Christ’s sake, if you’re going to do it, do it right.”

CP

Paper 016 1.603”) Non-SAU CMYK res/BP

original file: Adobe InDesign CC 2015

PDF [if circled]

GEORGETOWN: 3279 M St. NW • 202 -333-2829 14th STREET CORRIDOR: 1318 14th St. NW • 202-299-9148 BUFFALOEXCHANGE.COM •

Fri & Sat, Oct. 28 & 29 at Midnight, and Sun, Oct. 30 at 7:30pm!

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TEACHER WORKSHOPS T ENOVEMBER A C HTHROUGH E R WMARCH ORKSHOPS

Monthly programs designed to help teachers make curriculum connections through the visual arts. Teachers of all subjects, homeschoolers, and pre-service educators are welcome. Register at www.nga.gov/teacherworkshops

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Monthly programs designed to help teachers make curriculum connections through the visual arts. Teachers of all subjects, homeschoolers, and pre-service educators are welcome.

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N AT I O N A L G A L L E RY O F A RT O N T H E N A T I O N A L M A L L , WA S H I N G T O N , D C · W W W. N G A . G O V Image: The new Roof Terrace of the National Gallery of Art East Building. Several sculptures are on view, including Hahn/Cock (2013) by German artist Katharina Fritsch, on long-term loan from Glenstone Museum, Potomac, Maryland. © Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York/VG Bild-Kunst, Bonn. Photo by Rob Shelley © 2016 Board of Trustees, National Gallery of Art, Washington

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 9

8th Annual South African

Bazaar

“One-of-a-kind” Holiday Gifts SA Art / Stunning Beaded Crafts / Zulu Baskets Jewelry / Home Decor / Traditional Attire

DistrictLinE

Wither St. Elizabeths The week the city-run hospital was without water.

By Scott Rodd

Saturday, November 5 / 10am–6pm Silver Spring Civic Building Ellsworth Room / One Veterans Plaza

Corner of Fenton St. & Ellsworth Drive / Silver Spring, MD

southafricanbazaar@hotmail.com www.SouthAfricanBazaarCraftCooperative.com

FREE ADMISSION!

Not sponsored, associated or endorsed by Montgomery County Government Sponsors: African Women’s Network International, SA Bazaar Craft Cooperative

THE INTER-AMERICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK FAMILY ASSOCIATION’S

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Raffle of many prizes and much more!

1300 New York Ave, NW, Washington D.C. one block from the Metro Center Station

HIRE AN INTERN.

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ConCerns over the operations of St. Elizabeths Hospital, the District’s public psychiatric facility for people with serious mental illness, continue to mount two years after the end of federal oversight of the institution.

A recent report offered objectively damning evidence that the city-run hospital, whose daily census averages 300 patients, is a dangerous place. Between December 2015 and February 2016, there were 632 assaults, 384 injuries, and 524 incidents of physical and mechanical restraint, according to an investigation by the watchdog organization Disability Rights DC. Now, City Paper has learned that a severe water main rupture in August left the hospital and its patients without water for nearly a week. The hospital was forced to rely on bottled water for drinking and flushing toilets, and on hand sanitizer and moist towelettes for hygiene purposes. The incident, which posed health risks for both patients and staff at St. Elizabeths, was compounded by the hospital’s lack of effective communication both internally and externally.

At 6 p.m. on Aug. 6, the General Services Administration (GSA) received notification of a rupture along the pipe that supplies water from the federally owned West Campus of St. Elizabeths to the District-owned East Campus, where the hospital is located. By 10 p.m., GSA had turned off the water supply to the East Campus to begin assessing the damage. The rupture ran the entire length of the 60-foot pipe, according to GSA. In the following days, the East Campus switched to a District-owned water supply, but safety tests delayed when the hospital could begin using the water. By Aug. 11—five days later—the water was cleared to use for laundry and bathing, but it wasn’t deemed safe for consumption until the next day.

“The hospital immediately implemented its tested emergency water plans to maintain clinical care and minimize impact on operations,” Phyllis Jones, legislative and public affairs director for the Department of Behavioral Health, which oversees the hospital, writes in an email. This included relying on bottled water for “drinking, cooking, flushing toilets, and other essential functions.”

The hospital also depended on “a combination of alternative hygiene practices and common hygiene products during the water interruption.” Patients and staff used hand

10 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

sanitizer in place of washing their hands with soap and water. In lieu of functioning showers, patients had to bathe themselves using moist towelettes throughout the week.

Since common hygiene products are less effective at killing germs than soap and water, the week-long water outage posed an increased risk of spreading infection.

“We know that waterless hand gels really aren’t extremely effective,” says Linda Greene, president-elect of the Association for Professionals in Infection Control and Epidemiology. According to the Centers for Disease Control, hand sanitizers do not kill certain germs, such as those that cause norovirus. While the concern would be significantly greater if the hospital were an acute care facility, Greene says the risk of spreading infections is always heightened when a hospital does not have running water, especially if the outage lasts for more than one day.

The circumstances that caused the water outage were largely out of the hospital’s control.

The pipe that ruptured was approximately 80to 100-years-old, according to the GSA, and its walls had been worn thin by constant use. When it came to switching the water supply, the hospital was at the mercy of negotiations between federal and District agencies. And the possibility of transferring patients would have caused more harm than good in many cases.

The hospital, however, failed to effectively communicate the situation both internally and externally, which Greene says is crucial during incidents of this nature.

“The primary issue with any [hospital] disruption is good communication,” she says. That means maintaining “conversations with staff, patients, and their families” and offering the opportunity “for people to ask questions.”

In the days after the rupture, patients contacted Disability Rights DC to complain that they were not informed about what was going on at the hospital.

“Throughout the entire week, individuals at St. Elizabeths complained they did not get information about the status of the repair or the progress being made to resolve the situation,” says Jen Lav, managing attorney at Disability Rights DC. “Some reported that they were using the water to shower and wash their hands, while others were told it was not safe for any purpose. Some complained that for several days toilets were not working. We had serious concerns that the information given to resi-

dents was inconsistent at best.”

Some bathrooms and water fountains, according to patients who contacted Lav, were cordoned off while others were not. The communication breakdown posed a risk to patients because using or consuming water that is potentially unsafe can cause the spread of illness or infections. Jones concedes St. Elizabeths made no effort to notify patients’ families of the situation.

St. Elizabeths also failed to alert the court system until two days into the water outage.

On Aug. 8, a St. Elizabeths administrator sent an email to court personnel warning that the hospital would not accept incoming patients for pre-trial evaluation or post-conviction commitment. The hospital did not begin accepting patients again until Aug. 12. According to a Superior Court official who spoke on the condition of anonymity, St. Elizabeths gave the courts no prior warning about the water outage or the possibility that it might need to temporarily stop accepting incoming patients.

According to Jones, 14 people who were charged with crimes and referred by the courts to St. Elizabeths were instead held in the D.C. Jail during the water outage.

The hospital provided no public announcements about the incident, which helps explain why there was no media coverage. According to Linda Greene, many hospitals “will have town-hall style meetings to make the public aware of what is going on” when a disruption of this nature occurs.

According to the hospital’s Emergency Operations Plan, unusual emergency incidents should be treated as “critical opportunities” to assess the effectiveness of the plan and evaluate improvement areas. “For all real emergency incidents reaching level 2 or above,” which includes hospital-wide water outages, “the Emergency Planner should prepare an After Action Report,” it reads. According to Jones, such a report is in the draft stage and “any final agency action as a result of the incident will be made public.”

The hospital’s failure to report and review incidents goes back over a decade and was described in a scathing 2006 report from the Department of Justice. One section of the report specifically cited the lack of an effective infection control program and mandated that the hospital “actively collect data with regard to infections” and “identify necessary corrective action.”

CP

VOTE Aikin VIEW

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MY FOCUS IS ON:

Sports Parenting

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TA N YA S E LVA R AT N A M : P H O T O B Y N A O M I W H I T E

Somehow, againSt all odds, I’ve become a sports parent. On a very small scale, anyhow. Despite passing on a genetic makeup ill-suited to non-typing activities and an attitude that views athletics more as something to watch than something to do, my wife and I have done the responsible thing and signed our kids up for a few activities.

Our older child, the girl, plays field hockey and basketball and swims and dances. Our son does karate and will be starting basketball pretty soon. They both do a kids running thing, which I won’t be mentioning again because they’re actually OK at that.

The idea, I guess, is to nurture healthy, assertive kids who value teamwork and can overcome adversity or whatever, but so far that seems more aspirational than factual. The more factual manifestation of this parental effort was illustrated last Saturday, when my daughter marked the last day of the field hockey clinic season by stomping into the house, still cleated, yelling about freedom and liberation and the end of her protracted torture at the hands of her coaches.

The next night, she started stroke-and-turn, the beginning of the pool pivot from “training not to die” to “learning how to swim well.” But “started” fails to capture what actually happened—that is, she sat on the side of the pool refusing to be sorted into any kind of ability-based group. I guess she is learning assertiveness.

She likes basketball a little better, although she’s mainly a defensive specialist there (i.e., she prefers not to shoot the ball, or even touch it on offense, unless there is literally no alternative, a feeling I remember well). But she seems to enjoy running up and down the court, which is the point of the thing, and definitely enjoys talking to the other girls on the bench when she’s subbed out, which is probably inevitable.

My son, meanwhile, enjoys karate for all the wrong reasons (hitting things, jumping over things, yelling “ki-yaaaaah” like a ninja turtle who swallowed a train whistle), while the theoretical lessons (respect for instructors, discipline, etc.) don’t actually make it past the dojo door. He excels at snapping to attention and bowing, though, which is better than watching more cartoons.

He played lacrosse for a little while, probably a bit earlier than he should’ve, but he delighted in it briefly because he thought the la-

crosse stick was a butterfly net, and he had always wanted a butterfly net.

So what I’m saying is, my kids don’t naturally gravitate toward playing sports. Watching them has been a different matter. They don’t always get the rules and they don’t always understand which plays matter, but they have taken a certain (and no doubt short-lived) pleasure in sitting with us and cheering for the local teams, especially when it buys them a few extra minutes before bedtime.

There are worrying hints that the inevitable annulment of this dynamic is already in play, as it were. Whenever my daughter sees me watching a game that doesn’t include a local team, she asks who I’m rooting for. At which point, any mealy-mouthed answer (“I’m just rooting for a good game” or “I don’t really care” or “A meteor”) is summarily rejected and I am forced to choose a side.

Matters escalated when I turned on this week’s early morning NFL game in London while making her breakfast. “What’s the point of football?” she asked me, with a look that was part eye roll and part George Clooney’s ER-era acting style. I started rambling about downs and touchdowns and points, and she cut me off. “I know all that. I just mean, why do you watch so many games? What’s the point?”

I know that From-The-Mouths-of-Precocious-Tykes is a fraught rhetorical device now, what with months of “My 7-year-old saw Donald Trump on TV and asked why an eldritch horror from beyond time was addressing a crowd,” but this actually brought me up short.

I gave some standard answers: Provincialism! A short schedule that maximizes the importance of each game! The fact that adults need things to make small talk about! The emptiness of modern American life! But I could tell she wasn’t buying it. She spent the rest of the day seeming vaguely annoyed by football as a concept.

I’ve understood my kids’ ambivalence about participating in sports. I know, deep down, that they probably inherited that from me via either genetics or osmosis. But indifference about even wanting to watch sports initially seemed much more confusing.

That is, until I realized how many other families had taken their kids to a pumpkin patch last weekend instead of staring slackjawed at a TV all day like characters in the world’s dullest Black Mirror episode. Now my kid is resentful AND we still need a pumpkin.

CP

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Gear Prudence Gear Prudence: Here’s my problem with bike commuting: I’m a competitive person by nature, and every day this one guy rides up behind me, zooms right past, and leaves me in his dust. I am not slow either. But it just gets to me that he is so much faster.

And even when I try to chase him down, I don’t get anywhere close. It just bums me out and makes me not like biking. Am I crazy for letting this get to me?

—Rider Invariably Vanquishes And Leaves Dear RIVAL: The dreaded bike nemesis. If you ride the same route long enough, you’ll pick one up eventually and will have to become accustomed to the superior speed of a stalwart cyclist. GP had a bike nemesis once too, but once her training wheels came off, that slowed her down plenty. But here’s the thing about your being a competitive bike commuter: It’s dumb and you should get over it. Sure, no one likes being passed, and being bested by the same person on a daily basis can lead to a festering emotional wound. But it’s important to grasp two things: 1) You are not and will never be the fastest cyclist in the world and 2) Despite this, it is perfectly possible to live a happy and fulfilling bike commuting life. Accept this.

Consciously turn off the part of your brain that associates bicycling with racing, and you’ll become a much happier person.

—GP Gear Prudence: Halloween is coming up and I have no ideas at all for costumes. You’ve helped out people before (sort of ), so do you have any ideas for a truly desperate cyclist?

—Halloween Approaches, Undecided Needs To Eventually Decide Dear HAUNTED: Of course! GP loves Halloween. It’s the only day of the year when people put on costumes and pretend to be something they’re not. Well, other than Bike to Work Day. Expect many costumes this year to thematically coalesce around topics political. While “Ken Bone on a bike” is better than “Ken Bone not on a bike,” both are pretty awful. If you must try to be election-themed, dress like Dag Otto Lauritzen, the 1989 winner of the Tour de Trump (a real bicycle race). Wear, um, whatever bike clothes you want because literally zero people know what Dag Otto Lauritzen looked or looks like.

Other ideas: • Group costume: You and a thousand friends go as the line to get into REI • Dress as the Ghost of the L Street Cycletrack (dearly departed between 16th and 15th Street) • Dress one friend as a chicken and another as a boxer and you wear a red CaBi shirt and call yourself collectively Bikeshare and Tysons.

Regardless of your costume, have fun. People who ride bikes are given so few opportunities to wear outlandish outfits, so you’ll want to make the most of it.

—GP

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Stephanie Rudig

Shadow People

They don’t believe all of it. The origins and surprising skepticism behind the Alexandria Cryptozoology and Paranormal Society.

“Well, have you heard of the reptilian city below Los Angeles?”

That one was a long shot. They’d already brought up multiple famous UFO sightings— Lights Over Washington (1952), the Belgian Wave (1989-90), the Phoenix Lights (1997)— and had struck out with no nods of recognition. As members of the Alexandria Cryptozoology and Paranormal Society (ACAPS), it’s to be expected that they know more about seemingly crazy legends than others. But no, I had never heard of the lizard people who thousands of years ago had supposedly inhabited underground caves beneath L.A. It’s important to note that no one in ACAPS—or at least none of the three co-founders holed up at the bar this October afternoon— really believes there was once a reptilian city below L.A. “No,” says group co-founder Chad Umbach. “The reptoids are fake.”

But that’s not to say that they didn’t give the story thoughtful consideration at one time.

“The universe is vast,” says co-founder Scott Fallon. “It goes on and on. Maybe we’re not as smart as we think we are.”

ACAPS takes a skeptical approach to many of the stories and sightings they come across.

“We believe and we’re skeptical,” Fallon says.

“A lot of these things can be explained scientifically.” Perhaps that UFO in the sky is just a satellite or the planet Venus, and maybe that ghostly light beyond the trees is methane gas from decaying swamp vegetation. But if there’s an overriding philosophy to ACAPS, it’s that humans don’t know everything there is to know about our world. Not everything can be blamed on Venus or swamp gas.

The three of them—Fallon, Umbach, and 14 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Stephanie Rudig

By Amanda Teuscher

Dr. Marc Black, the group’s resident scientist and skeptic-in-chief—meet here, at Bilbo Baggins in Old Town Alexandria, just about every weekend. Despite its name, the bar is not really Lord of the Rings–themed (though there is a map of Middle Earth on one wall that seems strangely out of place). They’re regulars here— they know the owners, make fun of the menu (“Mango chutney on everything!”), and host ACAPS-branded tap takeovers, like an upcoming Stone Brewing event on Nov. 4. It’s also where Umbach and Fallon first met about four years ago and discovered their shared interest in the paranormal.

From that initial meeting (and from countless beer-fueled conversations about Bigfoot and aliens) came ACAPS. Fallon’s not sure how many members they have, because no one is sure what constitutes membership. At the time of writing, their Facebook page had 742 followers, and Fallon estimates that there are about 20 or so people who have helped or assisted the group in some way, whether it’s handing out stickers at a show, helping build their new website, or showing up regularly at their Bilbo Baggins screenings of the TV show Finding Bigfoot.

They don’t have regular meetings, unless you count these weekend bar summits. And they don’t have equipment for conducting any sophisticated investigations in the vein of the Syfy network show Ghosthunters. They do have stickers they hand out generously—one with a silhouette of Bigfoot from the famous 1967 Patterson-Gimlin footage, one with an alien (a “grey”) giving a peace sign. Umbach sheepishly admits to having plastered one on the side of the King Street trolley.

It’s an informal society, but everyone recognizes that Fallon, with his unlimited enthu-

siasm, is the driving force behind ACAPS. “It suits him,” says Black. “He brings people together. He’s a force of nature.”

“I need to be busy all the time,” Fallon says.

“I work 50 to 60 hours a week at my full-time job, then I play guitar four or five nights a week, then I do the cryptozoology stuff.”

His day job is recruiting for an accounting firm. It sometimes requires him to travel, and he uses those trips as opportunities to seek out haunted bed and breakfasts. He’s a selfdescribed Deadhead, and his music hobby often overlaps with his penchant for the paranormal. He’ll bring a giant cardboard cutout of Bigfoot on stage with him, or set up an ACAPS merchandise table at a show and announce with mock seriousness that “all proceeds go to Bigfoot research.” In July, he and Black attended FloydFest, a music festival in Virginia, and sat behind a table with an ACAPS sign. And as principal organizer of Alexandria Live Music Week, which took place the first week of October, he’s an Alexandria fixture.

“Scott is immediately likeable,” says Nola Gruneisen, an ACAPS member who met Fallon through her fiancé. “He isn’t the oddball ghost-hunter you see on the silly cable network programs.”

Fallon’s main interest is in cryptozoology, which has taken him to events like Creature Weekend in Cambridge, Ohio, and, he hopes, to the Virginia Bigfoot Conference. In fact, he’s a certified cryptozoologist, a distinction he earned through a 16-part online series from Universal Class. “You can find anything online,” he says. He wound up doing a lot of his own independent research before turning in papers. “I don’t think the people there knew what the hell they were getting.”

“He asks the right questions,” says Gary Dizon, an ACAPS co-organizer who lives in Florida. Dizon and Fallon have known one another

since high school, when Dizon gave a presentation on Bigfoot, Fallon’s favorite subject.

Fallon is also pretty convincing. He politely expresses disbelief at enough legends—the Loch Ness monster, the story of Washington’s ghost taking a cab from Old Town to Mount Vernon (“How would George Washington know what a cab was?”)—that when he says he’s positive about something, you start to believe too.

For instance, at the mention of an alleged Sasquatch sighting in June, in Laurel, Maryland, Fallon leans back in his chair with an expression of thoughtful misgiving. “I looked at those photos,” he says. “I’ve lived in this area my entire life. I’ve hiked probably every trail in this area. I’ve seen probably every animal that’s out there. If there was something of that size, a Bigfoot, in an area so populated and crowded, and the only time we happen to see it is this? I don’t think there’s any way.”

But ask him about the possibility of Bigfoot anywhere else, and he talks in detail about evidence such as precisely bent trees, the unique stride of the animal in the Patterson-Gimlin footage, and the rarity of coming upon a pile of deer bones on a hike, let alone the bones of an elusive creature spread out over a vast area. “My personal belief is that in the Pacific Northwest, I’m certain that there’s a Bigfoot up there,” Fallon says with a sort of casual conviction, showing off his well-worn leather Bigfoot keychain. “I’m absolutely certain.”

If Fallon is the cryptozoology wing of ACAPS, Dizon talks more about the eerie experiences he’s had in old houses, or at the famously haunted Cuban Club in Ybor City, Florida, where he has worked as a stage manager. Dizon also shares Fallon’s measured belief in the existence of a “skunk ape” in the Florida swamps (so named because of its horrible smell).

Umbach, a former Marine, is very much in

the “aliens exist” camp, though he says, grinning, that he’s become a bit more open to the idea of “the man with the feet in the woods” since he became friends with Fallon. As for Black, the ACAPS member with a PhD in chemical engineering and an interest in astrophysics and astronomy?

“He’s a skeptic to the umpteenth degree,” says Fallon. “He keeps us grounded.”

A conversation with Black is more likely to be an epistemological discussion about science versus belief, or to center on Fermi problems, cosmic background radiation, dark matter, and the past year’s gravitational wave detection that confirmed part of Einstein’s theory of relativity. His interests lie more in ufology (the study of UFOs), and he carefully explains why the universe is just too vast for it to be impossible that aliens have existed, exist, or will ever exist. But, he says, “the chances of us being contacted are, I believe, infinitesimally small.”

“I’m a curious fellow,” he says. “And being a scientist, it’s part of the game. It’s important that we question a lot of what’s going on. There are unique and unexplained things that happen, but there’s also a lot of people trying to make fun and make a buck.”

As Black puts it, “separating the wheat from the chaff” is ACAPS’s primary mission, if it has one, as is meeting people with similar interests. “It’s a niche community,” Umbach says.

“People don’t normally bring [aliens] up in casual conversation.”

Fallon says he’s trying to get ACAPS permission to do an investigation of the nearly 300-year-old Ramsay House, the supposedly haunted location of the Alexandria Visitors Center, where his wife Melanie works.

“I’m always up for a haunted tour,” says ACAPS member Gruneisen, “because it’s mostly a local history lesson. … I hope there will be inves-

tigations in and around Alexandria. The place is brimming with haunted history.”

Fallon says he would also like to see ACAPS sponsor more events. “Our goal is to eventually get to a spot where we can have speakers here. I see that happening probably within the next year.” But he is firmly against the idea of paid membership or formal meetings. “I think if we get too structured, that might take a little of the fun out of it.”

For now, most of their wider membership participates by checking the group’s Facebook page. Umbach updates the page constantly, with lists like “10 real haunts of D.C., Maryland, and Virginia,” bizarre articles like “UFO expert found dead after ‘vomiting black liquid,’” or even just videos of local wildlife. “I do enjoy the sillier articles,” Gruneisen says, “like the one about Harrison Ford and the Loch Ness monster. But I mostly check the site for news about ACAPS and articles about hauntings.”

At Bilbo Baggins, Fallon, Umbach, and Black are hovering around a phone, looking at a photo of a UFO posted to the Facebook page that day. It’s a terrible photo—crooked, with the flash reflecting blindingly off what look like the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, with the Washington Monument visible beyond the reflecting pool. In the top left corner are six tiny pinpricks of what appear to be green lights in the sky.

Umbach leans over excitedly and zooms in until the six dots take up half the screen. “Photoshopped,” he says with confidence, stepping back. Indeed, there is a symmetrical rectangle surrounding the lights, a slightly different shade than the rest of the ink-black night sky.

Umbach looks up from the phone, set to resume his and Black’s conversation about radiological dispersal, and grins. “And you thought we were just a bunch of guys drinking beer.”

CP

Terror in the Backcountry

By Laura Hayes Halfway tHrougH trail two at Markoff ’s Haunted Forest is a tunnel that will wreck your life—or at least send you back to the worst set of spins you ever got after drinking jungle juice at a college party. “Your eye fixates on a point and you get a vertigo feeling,” explains Paul Brubacher, vice president of operations at Markoff ’s.

To make it out of the woods, patrons must cross a bridge that’s suspended in the center of a rotating rainbow-colored tube lit with black light. Most people escape after a few minutes of awkward baby animal teetering, but on occasion someone will come to a dead stop.

“They close their eyes and hold the handrail and refuse to go anywhere,” Brubacher says.

That’s when Markoff ’s literally has to send in the clowns. Since the tunnel is located within the funhouse set, creepy clowns and carnies are the nearest “actors” who can coax trapped visitors out of the vortex tunnel.

These tunnels have skyrocketed in popularity over the past few years. Brubacher reports they retail at $7,000, but the Markoff’s Haunted Forest team made theirs, and just about everything else that spans the 60 acres of spooky attractions in Dickerson, Maryland.

Brubacher explains that while the Markoff’s team heads to St. Louis every March for a haunted attraction trade show, they go princi-

Photo courtesy of Markoff’s

One hour away from D.C. is one of America’s most intricate, long-standing haunts.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 15

pally for inspiration. “It’s a multi-billion dollar industry,” he says. “Most of the special effects guys from Hollywood—once they were replaced by computers—turned to the haunted industry to continue their craft of mold making and mask making.” After gathering ideas, they return to their on-site prop shop staffed by welders and woodworkers who source wood from trees milled on-site instead of from Home Depot.

What they can’t make they haul in—like a fully functioning Ferris wheel on trail two, which Markoff ’s recovered from a carnival company in upstate New York. They drove up to retrieve it, but a tire blew out at 2 a.m. on the way home. “They were stranded with relatively no cell service, so they ‘borrowed’ a tire from a car and left a note with a couple hundred dollars for a new tire,” Brubacher says.

The haunted attractions industry may have mushroomed over the past decade, thanks in part to attention from the Travel Channel and the Discovery Channel—both of which have featured Markoff ’s Haunted Forest—but the Markoff brothers at Calleva Farm were some of the original goulsters, having launched 24 years ago.

“The original concept started out of a bus that the Markoff brothers drove back from Utah where they were all going to college,” Brubacher says. The three brothers—Nick,

Matt, and Alex—had aspirations of opening an outdoor education camp. To raise some funds, they decorated the 1960s-style bus and charged a few dollars for people to walk through for a quick scare.

Four years later, Markoff ’s Haunted Forest landed in its permanent home on Calleva Farm, where’s it’s been spooking people for 20 years. The farm is a nonprofit organization that operates as a working farm, agricultural education center, and a summer camp on Montgomery County’s Agricultural Reserve.

Because Brubacher has worked at the haunted forest on the Calleva property from the start, he’s seen it evolve into what it is today—two long, winding haunted trails through the woods full of every horror trope on record, a hayride to an eerie town that could be the set of a twisted Western flick, and a front circle lit aglow by three bonfires. While patrons wait for their ticket numbers to be called to enter the first trail, there are games, a DJ, a zipline, and fat, fluffy funnel cake that would make state fairs jealous.

It’s a massive production that requires yearround attention. Planning for the following year starts in November, after the actors have revved their fake chainsaws for the last time.

In season, the operation requires 220 employees—200 of whom need to be costumed and

made up before the gates open at dusk. They typically arrive at 5 p.m. to visit one of the 12 makeup artists.

Many of the broken down dolls, cannibal butchers, institutionalized patients, zombies, and the like are young, aspiring actors who aren’t shy about trying accents—especially the ones patrons encounter in “The Town.”

Some have been scaring the greater D.C. area at Markoff ’s for 10 or more years.

“Some come from the Calleva camp, the high school theatre department—we have a bit of a cult following, so people who came last year say, ‘This is amazing, I want to work here,’” Brubacher explains. A call for applications is posted online in early August, interviews are conducted in mid-August, and staff training begins in September.

Actors are taught where to perch and also how to scare safely. “Unfortunately, when you scare someone, even a stone cold sober person can take a swing at you,” Brubacher says. That lizard brain just kicks in and says defend yourself. Booze only makes things worse.

“Alcohol is our number one problem,” Brubacher says. “If I were going to one of these, I’d have a couple of cocktails in me, but it’s the combative people that come towards the end of the evening that are a problem. You can hear them a mile away.” Indeed, on a Saturday night, there were some over-

A Little Fright Music A prostitute’s spirit, a dead Peeping Tom. Some believe the Rock & Roll Hotel nightclub hosts more than just shows.

By Stephanie Rudig and Justin Weber Before it opened in August 2006, Rock & Roll Hotel owner Jason Martin toured the building. It was over 90 degrees outside and even hotter inside what had previously been a funeral parlor. But despite the sweltering heat, he felt unmistakable pockets of freezing air.

Rumors that the building was haunted ran rampant before the doors ever opened.

Hotel bartender James Humphrey recalls that the staff members hired to work the venue were “freaking out” well in advance of ever clocking in. “The embalming room is going to be the kitchen,” she recalls them telling each other. “People were talking about how the pipes still had the blood of people in them.”

Even after remodeling, parts of Robert O. Freeman Funeral Services remained. The tile viewing platform for the bodies still sits under the stage, directly beneath where the drummers typically play. “[H Street] was empty back then,” says Mark Thorp, a former Rock & Roll bartender who now owns Little Miss Whiskey’s and Jimmy Valentines. “You could walk down the center of [H Street] after dark. You’d hear something and think it might be kids out in the street, so you’d go look out the window and there’d be nothing there.”

Gabe Torres, who has been a bartender there for six years, says he has sensed something paranormal from the beginning. “The strongest feeling is just that there’s presences,” he says. “You’ll feel someone looking at you, checking you out. And you turn around and there’s no one there.”

Laine Crosby, an author from Derwood, Maryland, who describes herself as an “investigative medium”—basically, a ghost hunter— says she felt around 40 spirits present at the nightclub when she visited on Oct. 19. While no unexplainable phenomena occurred that night, Rock & Roll Hotel employees have reported much more than just unsettling feelings over the years.

“We’d come in the next day and the candles [from the night before] would be lit,” says Humphrey. Not wanting to burn the building down, they started pouring water into the candles at night’s end. “We came in and the water would be out of them and they would be lit,” she recalls.

Some of the most commonly reported phenomena include doors slamming, footsteps, and voices or radios when someone is alone in the venue.

“There have been three or four people, including my ex-wife, who’ve had this experience, kind of like an AM frequency tune in,”

16 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

says Fritz Wood, one of the hotel’s original employees who worked there for nine years.

Wood remembers one instance very vividly, when he was closing up and his ex-wife Lisa was waiting for him in the lobby.

“She’s like, ‘Weird, someone left the radio on.’

And it’s like some old talkie show, and they’re talking about her. And they’re describing her dress, and asking, ‘Who is she? Why is she here?’

So I come down five minutes later, and she’s literally standing in the middle of H street with her arms crossed like, ‘Nope, nope, nope.’”

The bathrooms seem to be the most common location for chilling events. Faith Alice Sleeper would work at the tables by the second-floor window and recalls hearing the bathroom doors slam when she was alone in the building.

“It’s like a jammed frequency back there,” Humphrey says.

Two years ago, Torres was opening the bar early for H Street Fest with another bartender. His colleague went to the bathroom, after which Torres heard her scream and saw her run outside. In the backstage area, the shower was running, so he turned it off. When his coworker returned, she told him the shower had turned on by itself.

Crosby offers a potential explanation for the intensity and frequency of events in the bath-

served bros mixed in with teens just looking for an excuse to hold hands. Brubacher assigns extra security to these groups when he spots them.

Perhaps the biggest security situation occurred when the first family visited the forest. “They were out in Western town, but the actors didn’t have any idea because we didn’t want to give special treatment,” Brubacher says. “But a couple [of actors] came out of the saloon firing guns, and the Secret Service guys reached for their pistols.”

Brubacher says 1,800 to 2,000 people typically come through the gate on any given night, and tickets are capped at 4,000.

Understandably, this puts quite a crush on the small town of Poolesville. To soften the blow, Markoff ’s teams up with area restaurants. Those who want to enter the trails without waiting for their number to be called can dine at Basset’s Fine Food and Spirits, House of Poolesville “AHOP,” or Cugini’s Authentic Italian Cuisine to purchase a “fast pass” after their meal.

Markoff ’s Haunted Forest will be open tonight through Oct. 31 and ticket prices range from $20-$30.

CP Markoff ’s Haunted Forest, 19120 Martinsburg Rd., Dickerson, MD; (301) 216-1248; markoffshauntedforest.com

account—his joint account with his wife—left her, their toddler, their newborn child. They found him in a fucking state park in upstate New York sitting by a campfire, drinking fucking antifreeze, singing ‘leave us, leave us.’”

“I honestly do not believe that [the ghosts] were very happy in the beginning, but I will say as time went on all these crazy weird things would kinda stop happening,” Humphrey says.

It may be because the spirits and the staff learned how to get along.

“We’d literally put on five bucks worth of songs [on the jukebox] and say goodnight and walk out the door,” Wood says. “I think whatever spirits are there—if they are there—think we’re not crazy and just appreciate what we’re doing and what we’re trying to give back, and that we’re trying to throw a fun party.”

In the Presidential Suite upstairs, Crosby reported the presence of Miss Kitty, a sassy older prostitute who entertains many ghost guests, loves the club’s liveliness, and even has a crush on one of the bartenders. Crosby suggests that spirits are coming and going with music fans as they attend the nightclub’s shows. Over time, the spirits who liked the Rock & Roll Hotel the most were the ones who stuck around.

As Humphrey puts it: “If there was a spirit there that didn’t like it, the fun spirits were like, ‘Get out, dude.’”

CP

Stephanie Rudig

rooms. When she went herself, she reported a female spirit warning her about a Peeping Tom. Crosby believes the ghosts may have been husband and wife and that the husband had been a voyeur in his human life as well.

“You just gave me the chills,” Humphrey says when told what Crosby felt. “It does feel like someone’s watching you.”

Occasionally, people have seen the ghosts themselves, especially on the second floor.

“We were open for business—the lights were down, the music was playing—and they [Thorp and former bartender Kelly Sheeran] both saw a man standing in the hallway by the jukebox,” Humphrey recalls. “I’m coming up the stairs and I turn really quickly and there’s a silhouette of a man standing there and he’s wearing rain gear and he floats by the pool table, stops at the pool table, and then he goes to where the stairs are.”

The peak of Rock & Roll’s haunting came when a security staff member nicknamed Andy the Mohican made a 48-hour audio recording of the kitchen’s back room.

“He knew the place was haunted. He could feel the spirits, and it always freaked him out,” Humphrey says.

Wood says Andy isolated some sounds on the recordings and shared them.

“It was like, ‘leave us, leave us, leave us.’

And that next week, he drained his personal

Schlock and Awe For nearly 30 years, the Washington Psychotronic Film Society has been home for D.C.’s underground flick fanatics.

By Matt Cohen For horror aFicionados, Halloween is a 31-day celebration. It’s an excuse to spend the month of October cramming in as many spine-chilling movies as time allows. But for Carl Cephas, October is just another month.

It doesn’t matter what time of year it is, every single Monday evening, Cephas dons a white lab coat, carries a stately meerschaum pipe, and becomes his alter ego: The Incorrigible Dr. Schlock.

It’s a role he’s been playing for 27 years as the president of the Washington Psychotronic Film Society—a club that has been meeting almost weekly to screen weird movies since 1989. “We’ve always shown underground, B-, student, experimental, underrated, nonAcademy, anime, avant-garde, guerilla filmmaking, but people kept saying, ‘Oh, you guys just sit around watching bad movies,’” Cephas says. “And I would go, ‘No, they are not bad movies! They are films of a peculiar interest!’”

And the peculiar is what the WPFS revels in. About a dozen or so regulars meet every Monday night in the basement of Adams Morgan’s Smoke & Barrel for a screening.

It starts with a collection of pre-screening short films and vintage commercials, as donations are collected to enter to win the weekly door prizes: usually a comic book, some weird movies, or some strange tchotchke.

Whatever it is, it’s almost always accompanied by a pack of condoms.

Twenty-seven years is a long time for any club, but it’s a minor miracle that WPFS is still going strong. Over the years, the group has hosted screenings at nearly two dozen different bars, clubs, and theaters—sometimes being displaced because a bar is closing, or on rare occasions, kicked out for showing a film that crossed the tasteless line.

But through it all, Cephas and the WPFS has endured, amassing a small but dedicated legion of regulars who bond weekly over their shared love of, well, films of a peculiar interest.

The WashingTon PsychoTronic Film Society was founded in 1989 by Melanie Scott, a friend of Cephas. The two shared a fondness for cult films, and conversations about their favorite ones inspired the idea to begin hosting screenings at d.c. space downtown.

“We were talking about what’s funny, what gets people together to see stuff, and she said,

‘Well, most people want to get together to see a Godzilla film or Spider Baby,’” Cephas recalls.

“And I said, ‘Yeah, sounds like fun.’”

There was another group showing films regularly (“mostly found footage and avant-garde films,” Cephas recalls) at d.c. space, but they stopped sometime in 1988. When they did, there was still a demand to see those type of movies, though Scott and Cephas were mostly interested in showing B-films. “[Melanie] said, ‘Why not combine the two and make it a social setting?’” Cephas recalls. “So she put an ad in the City Paper, and the next week we got 100-plus responses. Then we had a meeting, and within a month we had our first show at d.c. space.”

The group got its name from Michael Weldon’s The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film, a book documenting the world of transgressive B-movies, and Scott got the author’s blessing to riff on the name. After d.c. space closed in 1991, the WPFS bounced around at bars, clubs, and theaters all over the D.C. area: Lucky Bar, Dr. Dremo’s, Vision’s, The Big Hunt, Chief Ike’s Mambo Room, The Warehouse, The Passenger, Stetson’s, Acre 121, and McFadden’s, just to name a few.

It’s not unusual unusual for the WPFS to take brief hiatuses either, because of trouble finding a new spot to host screenings, or because of Cephas’ myriad health and legal problems. (City Paper has thoroughly documented the saga of Cephas’ firing from the Library of Congress in 2009 due to his office pranks and colorful personality.)

But through it all, the society endured, always bouncing back in a new spot, and always bringing back its longtime regulars, and attracting new ones. over The years the WPFS has had its fair share of ups, downs, and memorable moments. In 2000, Scott died, and as the club’s founder and matriarch, her memory isn’t forgotten: Every year members honor her by showing some of her favorite films.

There was the time they were almost banned from Dr. Dremo’s for showing the infamous 1974 Belgian art film Vase de Noces—also known as The Pig Fucking Movie—because it unfortunately delivered on what its title promises.

And then there was the screening on Sept.

11, 2001. The group was scheduled to show the 1989 black comedy musical from New Zealand, Meet the Feebles at Lucky Bar. But given the grim nature of the events that unfolded that day, Cephas thought it would be best

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Darrow Montgomery

to cancel the screening. “People called up Lucky Bar and said, ‘This is the end of the world. We have to laugh. You’ve got to show Meet the Feebles!,’” he recalls. People packed into the bar, and for two hours they all laughed and escaped the dark reality of the day. “After the film we came back to reality and left,” he recalls. “And it was like the end of the world. There were no cars on Connecticut Avenue.”

Attendance has waned over the years, but there’s a dedicated group of regulars who make it to every screening. “There’s a sense of community,” says Justin Baker, a WPFS member who’s been attending screenings off and on since the mid-1990s.

“Everybody knows you. It’s fun to experience the movies with other people.”

“We like to just have fun with the films,” adds Jonathan Couchenour, who’s been running the WPFS Facebook page and email newsletter since 2009. “Different people come for different reasons, but as far as the way we’ve been doing it … we haven’t been doing it for a huge amount of in-depth discussions of films. Some people are into that, but with this, we just like to have fun.”

But no one who attends the WPFS screenings has as much fun as Cephas does. “I am Dr. Schlock and I’ll be your host for this thing until I die,” he jokes at a screening. Everyone laughs, but they all know it’s true.

CP

Halloween Events 10th AnnuAl VAmpire’s BAll Enjoy a performance of Synetic Theater’s Dante’s Inferno before this annual party that features a costume contest, snacks, and an open bar. Synetic resident composer Konstantine Lortkipanidze serves as DJ for the night and provides a soundtrack for an epic dance party.

Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St., Arlington. $50-$70. Oct. 28, 8:00 p.m. (866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org.

10th holy hAlloween Ass shAker DJs Sam Burns, Chris Nitti, and Juan Zapata perform at this annual Halloween banger. Perfect your costume because those without one will be denied entry.

Jimmy Valentine’s Lonely Hearts Club. 1103 Bladensburg Rd. NE. $15-$70. Oct. 29, 9:00 p.m. jimmyvalentineslhc.com.

20th AnnuAl Del rAy hAlloween pArADe Alexandria residents walk the streets in their Halloween finery at this popular event that last year included more than 7500 participants. The celebration also includes a pet costume contest, a stroller decorating contest, and a haunted graveyard. Donations benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Mount Vernon Recreation Center. 2701 Commonwealth Ave., Alexandria. Oct. 30, 2:00 p.m. (703) 768-3224. fairfaxcounty.gov.

2nD AnnuAl ChAmpion tAttoo CompAny hAlloween pArty Join Champion Tattoo Company for $60 tattoos from Halloween Flash all day, plus a gift certificate raffle and free beer courtesy of Stella Artois at this celebration. Champion Tattoo Company. 719 8th St. SE, Second Floor. Free. Oct. 29, 12:00 p.m. (202) 480-2233. championtattoocompany.com.

An eVening in the twilight Zone: A pAroDy! Just in time for Halloween, enjoy spooky cocktail party

theatre at Dumbarton House Museum. Picnic Theatre Company will perform three short episodes of classic 1950s sci-fi suspense, along with hilarious actual commercials from that bygone era. Proceeds benefit Dumbarton House and Courage for Kids. Dumbarton House Museum. 2715 Q St. NW. $12-$15. Oct. 28, 6:30 p.m. (202) 337-2288. dumbartonhouse.org. the AnnuAl #monstersBAllDC hAlloween pArty At sAX Enjoy music by DJ Quicksilva and half price Belevedere vodka, Jameson whiskey, Tanqueray gin, Don Julio tequila and Barcardi rum between 10 p.m. and 12 a.m. at this celebration hosted by special guest King Flexxa. Admission is free before 11 p.m.

SAX. 734 11th Street NW. Free. Oct. 31, 10:00 p.m. (202) 737-0101. saxwdc.com.

BrAm stoker’s DrACulA 4615 Theatre Company turns Bram Stoker’s spooky novel about a Transylvanian count into an immersive, thrilling play just in time for Halloween. East City Bookshop. 645 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, Suite 100. Free. Oct. 28, 8:00 p.m.; Oct. 29, 7:00 p.m. eastcitybookshop.com.

Cut it off! An AmputAtion DemonstrAtion Join the Obscura Society as we get into the Halloween spirit and turn the Clara Barton Missing Soldiers Office into an impromptu operating theater. Watch a Civil War medical historian from the National Museum of Civil War Medicine amputate a gel leg using authentic 19th-century tools and techniques. Museum staff will also bring bone saws, mine balls, medical kits, and other objects related to the history of amputation for guests to look at. Afterwards, head back downstairs to fortify your nerves with Flying Dog brewery’s Sawbones beer. Clara Barton Missing Soldiers Office Museum. 437 7th St. NW. $50.

Oct. 29, 4:00 p.m. (202) 824-0613. clarabartonmuseum.org.

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DC hAlloween CrAwl Get dressed in your finest costume and enjoy drink specials at popular downtown bars including Blackfinn, Rumors, and The Mad Hatter at this annual bar crawl. The Front Page. 1333 New Hampshire Ave. NW. $25-$40. Oct. 29, 12:00 p.m.

(202) 296-6500. frontpagerestaurant.com. hAlloween CirCus Enjoy music from Jonny Grave and the Tombstones and burlesque performances from Cherie Sweetbottom and Danny Cavalier at this spooky celebration that promises great tunes and raunchy fun. Black Cat. 1811 14th St. NW. $10-$12. Oct. 29, 8:00 p.m. (202) 667-4490. blackcatdc.com. hAlloween hunt AnD tour Explore all the secret corners of this legendary Dupont Circle museum, decorated especially for Halloween, and pick up prizes along the way at this annual celebration. Mansion on O Street. 2020 O St. NW. $35. Oct. 28, 11:00 a.m.; Oct. 29, 11:00 a.m.; Oct. 30, 11:00 a.m. (202) 496-2020. omansion.com. hAunteD house pop-up DAy pArty Town Tavern and Feed It Forward present this party that brings Sunday spooky funday to a whole new level with music by DJ Heat and Rye Bread, Redbull, Jager, and Captain Jack-O-Blast specials, a costume contest, giveaways , and other fun activities. Ticket proceeds benefit Feed It Forward’s children’s costume drive.

Town Tavern. 2323 18th St. NW. $20-$50. Oct. 30, 12:00 p.m. (202) 387-8696. towntaverndc.com.

JBC’s hAlloween pArty At mAlmAison & flAVio Due to high demand, JBC Events will take over Malmaison and Flavio for Halloween. The venues are within walking distance of one another and will feature DJs and a Halloween costume contest. Malmaison. 3401 Water St. NW. $20. Oct. 29, 9:00 p.m. the mAD mAsquerADe: hAlloween 2016 Enjoy a costume contest, all night drink specials, and a

packed dance floor at this Halloween celebration presented by matchmaking agency Three Day Rule and social networking organization the Ivy Plus Society.

Those with the best costumes and those deemed “sexiest” win prizes including massages, clothes, and food delivery gift cards. Mission Dupont. 1606 20th St. NW. $50. Oct. 28, 7:00 p.m. (202) 525-2010. missiondupont.com. monster mAsh Enjoy drink specials, a costume contest, dancing, and music from DJ Distrakshun at this wild party that takes over both floors at Town Tavern. Town Tavern. 2323 18th St. NW. $10. Oct. 29, 8:00 p.m. (202) 387-8696. towntaverndc.com. tAles of mystery AnD the imAginAtion: hAlloween in georgetown Actors from Guillotine Theatre communicate with the spirits and read a witches’ brew of poems and short stories by Edgar Allan Poe, including “Morella,” “Hop-Frog,” “The Oval Portrait,” “Annabel Lee,” and “The Raven.” We guarantee that something supernatural will occur!. Grace Church. 1041 Wisconsin Ave. NW. $10. Oct. 28, 7:30 p.m. (202) 333-7100. gracedc.org. thriller At murrAy’s: A hAunteD groCery store A former grocery store is turned into a haunted house for a few days in advance of Halloween at this Park View spot. Visitors will see skeletons, ghosts, and ghouls while also learning about the food system and how it impacts neighborhoods.

The Perch. 3400 Georgia Ave. NW. $20-$24. Oct. 28, 7:00 p.m.; Oct. 29, 7:00 p.m.; Oct. 30, 7:00 p.m.; Oct. 31, 7:00 p.m. (202) 841-2432. goodsensefarm.com/ theperch.

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The Bird from the same team as The Pig opens this week at 1337 11th St. NW with quail, pheasant, grouse, duck, and chicken.

From Founding Fathers to Founding Farmers Scotland’s surprising impact on local distilling started with George Washington.

Darrow Montgomery

He’ll play an even bigger role as Farmers & Distillers readies to open in downtown D.C. because the restaurant’s on-site distillery, Founding Spirits, pays homage to Washington and Mount Vernon.

Wasmund is collaborating with beverage director Jon Arroyo and distillery manager Bob Vanlancker. Even after the first Founding Spirits whiskey is available—potentially in as little as six months—CopperFoxwill continue to produce rye whiskey and gin for their restaurants.

“It really struck me that the more I studied George Washington, I looked at him as the founder of American entrepreneurship,” says Founding Farmers owner Dan Simons. “The thing that we took from Washington was really his decision-making approach. The lens with which he viewed an opportunity. What would he do if he was sitting around the table with us today. What decisions would he make?”

Washington made a business decision to become a distiller, putting his gristmill and crops to better and more profitable use while capitalizing on a market shift favoring American spirits in nascent post-Revolution America. The Founding Farmers team has taken a similar approach, using existing connections and capacities to move in a new direction. “Washington would look at the experience he’d have, and we have this experience in the spirits business, we have these relationships with the farmers,” Simons says.

The local whiskey boom owes more toasts to its Scottish ties and the entrepreneurial gusto of the nation’s first president than can be swallowed in one sitting. The rise of craft distilleries across the United States has been meteoric, with DISCUS reporting a growth of well over 700 percent between 2010 and 2015. If only Washington could see how far the nation has come since he began making liquor nearly 220 years ago.

CP

By Jake Emen GeorGe WashinGton isn’t just one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. He is also credited with being a Founding Father of American entrepreneurship. Washington’s Mount Vernon estate in Virginia served as the bustling hub of his enterprises: not just farms and fisheries, but also an on-site cooperage, blacksmith, and gristmill. Washington also had an affinity for whiskey, and his knack for finding business success helped the first president become one of the country’s preeminent distillers.

His entree into distillation came just three years after he rode to Pennsylvania with 12,950 soldiers to put down the 1794 Whiskey Rebellion—drinking plenty of local whiskey along the way. Washington opened a distillery at the Mount Vernon estate in 1797, sparking the region’s longstanding tradition of craft distilling and forever linking the area to Scotland.

Washington’s farm manager, a Scotsman named James Anderson, encouraged him to pursue the venture. By 1799 he was operating the largest distillery in the country, with sales of 10,942 gallons of whiskey.

“I don’t think Washington would have ever gotten into whiskey had he not hired James Anderson,” says Steve Bashore, director of historic trades at Mount Vernon. “The Scottish influence is the key point that led Washington to get into it, and I think he trusted James Anderson’s opinion as a farmer and as a distiller.” In Scotland, Anderson had supplied grain to local distilleries and even served as a merchant in the whiskey trade.

After Washington’s death in 1799, the distillery met a swift demise. Mount Vernon was divided between three of Washington’s nephews, and Anderson left by 1804. “Without the Scottish expertise, it didn’t do as well,” Bashore says. In 1814, the distillery burned down.

Nearly two centuries later, after years of excavation and reconstruction, George Washington’s Distillery and Gristmill reopened in 2007, bankrolled by the Distilled Spirits Council of the United States (DISCUS).

Last October’s limited release of George Washington Single Malt Whisky—a collaboration between Mount Vernon, DISCUS, and the Scotch Whisky Association— celebrated the Scotland connection. The project began in 2012, with several notable Scotch distillers—Bill Lumsden of The Glenmorangie Co., Andy Cant of Cardhu Single Malt Distillery, and John Campbell of Laphroaig Distillery—joining forces with Mount Vernon and master distiller consultant Dave Pickerell.

“That project was a really great way to culminate that history, by working with those three gentlemen, and tying the history into a full loop together,” Bashore says. The whiskey was produced using Mount Vernon’s traditional techniques and equipment, but with malted barley provided by Scotland’s Glenmorangie distillery. In his day, Washington predominately used a mix of rye and corn, both of which were grown on his farm.

Mount Vernon isn’t the only place in Virginia making whiskey with a direct Scottish tie. Lovingston’s Virginia Distillery Compa-

ny opened in November 2015 with one of the larger and more unique operations found anywhere in the country, exclusively producing single malt whiskey made from Scottish malted barley. They use a Scotch-style double distillation with massive, shiny Scottish-made copper pot stills that dwarf those found in the majority of today’s craft distilleries.

From the type of stills being used to how they are utilized, Virginia Distillery Company bridges Virginia and Scotland. “We’re trying to take a traditional route,” says CEO Gareth Moore. The operation isn’t Scotch-traditionalist just for novelty. “Our understanding is it makes better whiskey.”

Moore and his team are well aware of the roots the first president laid down, as they showcase an exhibit on his history of whiskey production during a tour of their distillery.

Though Virginia Distillery Company wisely tailors their process to Virginia’s climate and their specific equipment, they also follow the time-honored techniques that the Scots have honed over hundreds of years. “History doesn’t lie,” Moore says.

For yet another Scotland-meets-Virginia distilling connection, consider the Bowmore distillery in Islay. It was founded in 1779 and is one of Scotland’s oldest distilleries still in operation. Copper Fox Distillery Founder Rick Wasmund interned there, gaining first-hand experience he later brought home to his own venture in Sperryville, Virginia.

Wasmund has a longtime relationship with the Founding Farmers group of restaurants, producing proprietary spirits for the company.

Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to lhayes@washingtoncitypaper.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 19

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what we ate this week: Potato gnocchi with butternut squash, honey mushroom, and home-made ricotta, $12/$22, District Distilling.

Satisfaction level: 3 out of 5.

Grazer

what we’ll eat next week: Crispy sugar toads with hot honey, buttermilk dressing, greens, and radish, $16, The Dabney.

Excitement level: 4 out of 5.

Are You GonnaDEat rink That?

by the Numbers

Shaw’s Christmas Bar

Shaw’s “Miracle on 7th Street” Christmas bar reopens on Nov. 25 and lasts through New Year’s Eve. For its second year, the pop-up that drew huge crowds and drunken santas will take over all three of Derek Brown’s bars: Mockingbird Hill, Southern Efficiency, and Eat The Rich. To get in the holiday spirit, a by-the-numbers look back at last year.

—Laura Hayes 1,100: Christmas bar menus printed

23,790

Guests served, enough people to form a line approximately nine miles long, according to U.S. Census Bureau Survey Specialist John Burke

400: Maximum

99: Paper dreidels remaining on the dreidel chandelier after someone snipped one down to steal

’WichingHour The Sandwich: Simit sandwich with olive tapenade Where: Simit + Smith, 1077 Wisconsin Ave. NW Price: $7.50 Stuffings: Kasseri cheese, olive tapenade, tomato, oregano Bread: Original simit ring Thickness: 1.5 inches Pros: This Turkish-inspired shop, which operates several locations in New York and recently expanded to Georgetown, serves its sandwiches on traditional bread. The simit is a round, sesame bagel impersonator that’s

2: Jewish regulars who drove to Peter Chang’s and brought back a feast for the staff working Christmas Eve

more crunchy than doughy. Its nutty flavor balances the salty olive spread and cheese on the sandwich. Kasseri, a medium-hard sheep and goat’s milk cheese popular in Greece and Turkey, has just enough funk to stand out.

Cons: There’s little to critique about this light and refreshing vegetarian option, but if there’s one quibble, it would be that the sandwich is too simple. The olive tapenade, in paste form and spread thinly on the simit, lacks the acidity that makes Mediterranean olives so distinct. A thicker sauce with pieces of chopped olives would give the sandwich more

20 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Where to Get It: BLT Steak, 1625 I St. NW, (202) 689-8999, bltrestaurants. com/blt-steak/washington-d-c/

Nog shots ordered

360: Gallons of chocolate milk made for the “Francisco That’s Hard to Say” cocktail

bribe offered to a doorman to cut the line (money refused)

13: Carolers who sang Christmas jingles to revelers waiting in line

5,962

The Drink: It’s Foie-Nominal Cocktail with foie gras-infused Woodford Reserve, lemon, and port soaked fig

Price: $16

42: Volunteers who decorated the bar

1

Couple who met at Miracle on 7th Street and are now engaged (Columbia Room Chef Johnny Spero and his fiancée Alexis Baker)

punch and textural distinction.

Sloppiness level (1 to 5): 1. This sandwich yields very little mess even after a 20-minute bus ride with only a thin paper sleeve to protect it. Even the seeds stay affixed to the roll, something that can’t always be said for sesame bagels.

A few pieces of the cheese will probably fall onto the plate, but because the sandwich doesn’t leak any goopy liquids, it’s easy to reassemble.

Overall score (1 to 5): 4.5. Despite containing only four ingredients, this sparse sandwich is proof positive that sometimes simple is best. Its crunchy exterior and subtly flavored fillings make each bite interesting, and the only thing that would improve it is a slightly more sour spread. Consider it fuel on your next shopping trip.

—Caroline Jones

What It Is: A cocktail that arrives with two distinct layers—a golden base of foie gras-infused bourbon blended with a fig syrup made with cinnamon and cloves and a Merlot float topper garnished with a port-soaked fig.

What It Tastes Like: Beverage director James Nelson, who created the drink, recommends using the straw to sip from the bottom before mixing the wine float into the concoction. Surprisingly enough, the bottom layer could stand on its own without ever incorporating the wine. The bourbon gains a slight creaminess and silkiness from the foie, and the spiced fig syrup is a natural pairing for the Kentucky spirit. Stirring in the wine adds brightness while maintaining balance, and the final result tastes like a chilled hot toddy.

The Story: Nelson likes to take a culinary approach to cocktails, working with the kitchen and consulting his copy of the book, The Flavor Bible, to find complementary ingredients. Inspired by how well his A-5 Wagyu-infused cocktail went over last year, he knew he wanted to work with another unique protein and settled on foie gras. The infusion is made by rendering the fat from the liver, adding it to the bourbon, sealing it in a bag, and using a sous-vide water bath set just below the boiling point of alcohol for six hours. Then it’s into the freezer to separate the fat, which is filtered out by passing the liquid through a cheesecloth. —Rina Rapuano

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Millennium Stage Free performances every day at 6 p.m. No tickets required* *Unless noted otherwise

Nov. 2 Motion X Dance DC

Nov. 9 Bow vs. Plectrum

14 MON The Bridge Trio

23 WED Chowk Productions

15 TUE Be Steadwell

24 THU Thanksgiving Day Swing

Specially selected by Artistic Director for Jazz Jason Moran, the trio performs their original compositions of “Nouveau Swing” music, a style of jazz that fuses modern dance music with Afro-New Orleans traditional music.

The singer-songwriter and filmmaker—a Strathmore Artist in Residence—uses her roots in jazz, a cappella, and folk music to present a blend which she calls “queer pop.”

16 WED Great American Canyon Band

The indie folk rock duo from Baltimore, Paul and Kris Masson, performs songs from Only You Remain, their debut album filled with original songs of love, experience, and togetherness.

17 THU Derek Gripper

The South African guitarist’s music is inspired

by European classical traditions, avant-garde Brazilian, Malian kora, the ghoema/goema and vastrap music styles of Cape Town, and even Indian classical music.

NOVEMBER Target Family Night: Maduixa Teatre

1 TUE

As part of the 2016 Kids Euro Festival, the Spain-based theater company presents DOT, a delightful children’s tale of the adventures of Laia and Dot through the colorful world of American artist Sol Lewitt.

7 MON NSO Youth Fellows

Participants in the National Symphony Orchestra training program offer a recital of solo performances featuring works by Schubert, Sibelius, Ligeti, and Marcello, among others.

8 TUE U.S. Army Band “Pershing’s Own”

Celebrate Election Day with the Army Band’s Tuba Quartet as they perform a blend of classic American tunes.

Presented in collaboration with the Embassy of Spain.

2

WED

Motion X Dance DC

The local contemporary dance troupe presents an excerpt from their critically acclaimed Altered Archives and Sammi Rosenfeld’s It’s On Her, along with the re-work of Stephanie Dorrycott’s multimedia work, Concrete Devotion.

3 THU Zip Zap Circus

Bringing some performers from as far as South Africa, Zip Zap combines movement and circus performance, utilizing daring apparatuses to delight children and adults alike.

4 FRI Oddisee

The D.C.-based rapper performs as part of Words Beats & Life’s teach-in event Remixing the Art of Social Change: A Hip Hop Approach.

5 SAT Guru Tribute by DJ Premier

DJ Premier pays tribute to his late Gang Starr partner MC Guru as part of Words Beats & Life’s teach-in event Remixing the Art of Social Change: A Hip Hop Approach.

IN THE TERRACE GALLERY

6 SUN Comedy at the Kennedy Center:

Harrison Greenbaum*

The award-winning comedian, writer and author has been named as one of Comedy Central’s “Comics to Watch,” and has appeared on every network from MTV to NBC’s Last Comic Standing.

Martin Amini opens.

9 WED Bow vs. Plectrum

Tambura (Indian lute) player Filip Novosel and double bass player Tihomir Hojsak are the Croatia-based duo whose music foundation rests on ethno music of the Balkans and Pannonia region and contemporary jazz.

Presented in collaboration with the Embassy of Croatia.

10 THU McDaniel College Madrigal Singers

Hailing from Westminster, Maryland, the singers perform a repertoire of a cappella Renaissance madrigals and world music.

11 FRI U.S. Army Chorus

The group offers an evening of American classics in observance of Veteran’s Day.

12 SAT Pradhanica

Combining swift footwork, pulsing percussion, and emotive spins and rhythms, the Indian ensemble presents a contemporary rendition of the Indian classical dance form of kathak.

A free dance lesson will take place at 5 p.m.

13 SUN University of Maryland Dance

Faculty and guest artists present an evening of contemporary dance. Performed by undergraduate and graduate level dancers from UMD, the program, titled On The Move, showcases the breadth of modern dance that the school offers and supports.

BROADWAY TOMORROW Presented in collaboration with ASCAP

Dance Party

Dance off your holiday dinner as the Millennium Stage and Gottaswing present a festive program featuring music by the Phat Cat Swingers. This event will run until 9 p.m.

25 FRI Elena & Los Fulanos

The D.C.-based bilingual (Spanish and English) folk rock band creates a world where language and tradition meld with catchy melodies and inventive chords to enhance appreciation for diversity in an increasingly multicultural world.

26 SAT Lakota John & Kin

Known for blending their ancestors’ ancient Native American harmonies and traditional blues music, the members are part of the Lumbee and Oglala Nation and released their self-titled debut album in 2013.

27 SUN The Cowards Choir

18 FRI Zack Zadek

The award-winning composer/lyricist, songwriter, performer, and playwright has been recognized by Playbill and Buzzfeed for his writing talent, and his musicals 6, The Crazy Ones, and The Role of a Lifetime have been produced around the world.

19 SAT Sean Hartley The noted playwright, producer, and music and improv theater educator has written songs for television and produced concert and performance series. His musical Little Women won a Spirit Award for best book of a musical.

Front man Andy Zipf and his band perform their signature blend of indie rock.

Presented in collaboration with Hometown Sounds, a podcast and website dedicated to featuring bands based in the D.C. region.

28 MON Herb and Hanson

The acoustic duo, Strathmore Artist in Residence alumni, performs songs written and composed from their unique life experiences and the myriad musical inspirations from Americana’s oldest influences.

29 TUE Zachary Smith and the

Dixie Power Trio

20 SUN Scott Evan Davis

The composer and lyricist has gained attention for his original songs focused on the human experience of Alzheimer’s and autism.

21 MON Alan Schmuckler

The award-nominated composer and lyricist's influences range from podcasts to pop culture.

Among his many credits, he is the composer/ lyricist of Wait Wait Don’t Kill Me, a musical adaptation based off the book by Dave Holstein about the popular Serial podcast.

The group fuses together traditional New Orleans music elements like zydeco and jazz with rock ’n roll to present a fun, original onstage experience.

30 WED Colebrook Road

The award-winning five-piece bluegrass band from Harrisonburg, Pennsylvania performs dynamic arrangements filled with both vocal and instrumental harmony.

Nov. 23 Chowk Productions

22 TUE Ashleigh Rubenach and

Steve Ross Madsen

Alums of the Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts, they have gone on to star in a number of touring music and theatrical productions around the world. Rubenach is currently performing in the Australian tour of The Sound of Music, and Madsen was seen in Heathers at the Sydney Opera House.

A free dance lesson will take place at 5 p.m.

Free general admission tickets will be distributed in the States Gallery *starting at approximately 5 p.m., up to two tickets per person.

This performance contains strong language and mature content.

FOR DETAILS OR TO WATCH ONLINE, VISIT KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG/MILLENNIUM.

Brought to you by

The Singaporean dance company presents their new work The Second Sunrise, based on the writings of contemporary Tamil poet Cheran exploring the deep connection one has to one’s land, to roots, and to loss.

DAILY FOOD AND DRINK SPECIALS 5–6 P.M. NIGHTLY • GRAND FOYER BARS FREE TOURS are given daily by the Friends of the Kennedy Center tour guides. Tour hours: M–F, 10 a.m.–5 p.m., and Sa./Su. from 10 a.m.–1 p.m.

For information, call (202) 416-8340.

PLEASE NOTE: There is no free parking for free performances.

22 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

TAKE METRO to

the Foggy Bottom/GWU station and ride the free Kennedy Center shuttle departing every 15 minutes until midnight.

GET CONNECTED! Become

a fan of KCMillenniumStage on Facebook and check out artist photos, upcoming events, and more!

The Kennedy Center welcomes persons with disabilities.

ALL PERFORMANCES AND PROGRAMS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE.

The Millennium Stage was created and underwritten by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs to make the performing arts accessible to everyone in fulfillment of the Kennedy Center’s mission to its community and the nation.

Additional funding for the Millennium Stage is provided by Bernstein Family Foundation, The Isadore and Bertha Gudelsky Family Foundation, Inc., The Meredith Foundation, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Dr. Deborah Rose and Dr. Jan A.J. Stolwijk, U.S. Department of Education, and the Millennium Stage Endowment Fund.

The Millennium Stage Endowment Fund was made possible by James A. Johnson and Maxine Isaacs, Fannie Mae Foundation, The Kimsey Endowment, Gilbert† and Jaylee† Mead, Mortgage Bankers Association of America and other anonymous gifts to secure the future of the Millennium Stage.

Kennedy Center education and related artistic programming is also made possible through the generosity of the National Committee for the Performing Arts and the President’s Advisory Committee on the Arts.

CPArts

The D.C. Public Library’s Punk Archive releases mixtape of some of the D.C. area’s best local music. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts.

Picture Imperfect

A new National Gallery of Art exhibition considers how photography has evolved in the last three decades.

“Photography Reinvented: The Collection of Robert E. Meyerhoff and Rheda Becker” At The National Gallery of Art to March 5, 2017

By Louis Jacobson In Its latest exhibition, The National Gallery of Art aims to reveal the ways in which photography “has been transformed— aesthetically and technically—during the last 30 years.”

It does that—warts and all.

To accomplish this relatively broad task, the exhibition includes just 35 works by 18 artists, almost exclusively largescale pieces that fit comfortably into the spacious, newly renovated galleries of the museum’s East Wing.

It is too limited a selection to fully investigate each tributary of contemporary photography, and as a selection from a personal collection, it is inevitably limited to the interests of the collectors.

Still, the sampling of works manages to touch on a range of trends that have elevated—and complicated—the medium over the past three decades.

Deliberately inscrutable conceptual art? It’s here, in John Baldessari’s work combining an image of a pianist, a vertically flipped image of an orchestra, and three circular blotches of acrylic paint in primary colors that obscure some of the figures’ heads.

Photography that isn’t really photography? It’s got that too, in Anselm Kiefer’s “Vanitas,” a mixed-media work built initially upon a black-and-white photograph but which is almost entirely obscured by a woodsy mélange of oil paint, shellac, plant material, and soil.

Artistic self-indulgence? Look no further than a chosen work by Cindy Sherman, an homage to Piero della Francesca’s 15th century portraits of the Duke and Duchess of Urbino. Unlike Sherman’s early film-still works, which were groundbreaking and clever, the elaborate, almost grotesque staging of the artist’s self-portrait as the duchess comes across only as decadent.

But the exhibition does help clarify one narrow question of enduring, if surprising, resonance for several recent photographers. When capturing images of museums and libraries, it turns out that the images with people are superior to those without.

Candida Höfer has produced some elegant depictions of museum and library interiors. But with only artifacts and architecture on view, they seem drained of life. By contrast, Thomas Struth’s image of the Cathedral of Notre Dame is elevated by the pedestrians milling in front of it, and Struth’s photograph of the visitors to the Prado in Madrid—made after waiting patiently for the right mix of people—is endlessly ab-

Galleries

sorbing. Caught in one glorious split second, each interaction—notetaking students, a grinning man, a tourist taking a photo—is a revelation.

Another recurring theme of the exhibition is the role artifice plays in modern-day photography. The advent of Photoshop—and the willingness of artists to use it and for viewers to tolerate it—is a defining feature of the period. Whether intentionally or not, the exhibit offers examples in which artifice confuses and where it clarifies.

Consider two images by Andreas Gursky. One, of endless rows of beach umbrellas on Italy’s Adriatic coast, looks breathtaking, but has it been manipulated? The answer goes a long way toward determining how impressive the image actually is.

By contrast, another image by Gursky—of odd, decontextualized, gray swooshes—is so clearly manipulated that the same uncertainty doesn’t undermine it. The curves, which visitors are told come from an automobile raceway in Bahrain, can instead be admired for their pure geometric form.

The same holds true for the works by Hiroshi Sugimoto. His long-duration exposure in a rococo movie theater offers a simple, warm glow on the s c re e n — t h e su m o f a l l m o v i n g images during the movie’s showing. And his image of the sea and sky is as elemental as a Rothko painting. To Sugimoto’s credit, both images are brainy in concept yet comprehensible in practice.

Questions of artifice in photography reach their apogee in the exhibition with the 2003 image “Clearing,” by Thomas Demand. Demand’s modus operandi is to construct miniature renditions of seemingly humdrum scenes that are nonetheless freighted with historical significance. Of these, the most monumental—and convincing—is “Clearing,” which portrays a sun-dappled garden scene made from 270,000 pieces of die-cut paper.

It feels paradoxical that an artist would recreate a tableau that he probably could have captured by camping out for a few hours in a nice patch of shrubbery. But the sheer

“Rimini” by Andreas Gursky (2003) gusto with which Demand has pulled off this task inspires admiration. It also crystallizes one of the enduring questions of the photographic arts: If photography cannot be trusted, what can be?

CP 6th and Constitution Ave. NW. Free. (202) 737-4215. nga.gov. washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 23

FilmShort SubjectS

Objects Of Desire The Handmaiden

Directed by Chan-wook Park If you want to make a powerful feminist movie, it’s always good to start with a strong female point of view. But if you really want to topple the patriarchy, take a page from Korean director Chan-wook Park and include a shot from the viewpoint of an actual vagina. It’s got to be the first of its kind, but it is somehow right at home in Park’s sexy, hilarious, wildly original, and occasionally frustrating The Handmaiden.

The film continues Park’s habit of incorporating different styles and influences into a satisfying package. An early bit of dialogue describes a gorgeous estate as a mix of architectural influences, reflecting the owner’s “admiration for both Japan and England.” That’s the movie, too. It takes a classic American archetype—the con man—and subverts it over and over again. Not only is the real con artist in The Handmaiden not a man, she may not even be pulling a con.

In 1930s Korea, Sook-Hee (Kim Tae-Ri) is a young player in the schemes of Count Fujiwara (Jung-Woo Ha), a swindler who indoctrinates women into his employ from birth. His latest con involves seducing Lady Hideko, a wealthy young woman (Min-Hee Kim) away from her lecherous Uncle Kouzuki, marrying her, and then committing her to a mental institution (called a “mad house” because it’s that kind of a film). Confident but not cocky, he hedges his bets by placing Sook-Hee at her side as her handmaiden, so that she can consistently sing his praises and urge her to marry him.

Visually, The Handmaiden feels like a culmination of the baroque style Park has honed in films like Oldboy and Stoker. Every shot is both ornately designed and packed with meaning. Early shots invoke a prison, with characters framed between lines, boxes, and points that comprise the visual grandeur of Kozuki’s home. Escape only comes in the burgeoning passion between Fujiwara and Hideko. It starts out timidly—and esoterically—enough, with Hideko’s handmaiden filing down one of her teeth. Only a delightfully perverse mind like Park’s could turn such a mundane activity into the seeds of a sexual affair.

Of course he doesn’t stop there. We’ve still got that sentient vagina to get to. As the love affair blossoms, Park can’t help but linger on the female forms at his disposal, contorting them into every shape in the Kama Sutra.

The sex scenes are sumptuously filmed and mostly gratuitous. Like in 2014’s Blue is the Warmest Color, the physical attraction between its female leads drives the plot, so an argument can be made for the frank sexuality and nudity, but there is a literal ob-

The Handmaiden jectification at play in The Handmaiden that undercuts its key dynamic.

The Handmaiden unfolds in three acts, and each one has a delicious, impactful turn at its end that furthers the film’s feminist subtext. In turn, the once-demure Sook-Hee and Hideko turn the tables on their male oppressors, but how seriously can we take the film’s rejection of systematic male oppression when it so blatantly objectifies its women? The Handmaiden may be a gorgeous film to watch, but every time Park uses his actresses and their body parts as props, something inside you will want to look away.

—Noah Gittell The Handmaiden opens Friday at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

GrOwinG strains Moonlight

Directed by Barry Jenkins ComIng of age is a challenge for everyone, but for kids who are shy and sensitive, it can be downright harrowing. Bullies mistake sensitivity for weakness, and heap abuse upon those who feel it most acutely. Moonlight, the terrific new film by filmmaker Barry Jenkins, is deeply aware of the challenges facing its hero, and deepens them by setting the film around Miami housing projects—an environment with little solace for perceived weakness. But Moonlight is not a depressing film, although it can be heartbreaking. Its cast and craft converge toward a film that is lifeaffirming, despite the obstacles its broken

24 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

hero must face.

Jenkins adapts the screenplay from Tarell Alvin McCraney, a playwright and MacArthur Fellow whose work mixes unconventional masculinity and Southern Gothic motifs. Our tragic hero is Chiron, and Jenkins divides the film into three chapters of his life. Alex Hibbert plays Chiron as a petite 11-year-old nicknamed “Little” by his peers. When we first meet him, he is running away from bullies. His soft-spoken savior is Juan (Mahershala Ali), a drug dealer who pities Little since the projects are no place for a boy like him. They start an unconventional friendship—Juan imparts life-lessons, and teaches him how to swim—while Little tries to fit in with boys his age.

Ashton Sanders plays Chiron as a teenager.

He’s sullen now, and angrier, too. His mother (Naomie Harris, in a thankless role) is a drug addict, and his only friend Kevin (Jharrel Jerome) cannot decide between Chiron or the popular kids. The two boys nonetheless share a tender, ill-fated romance, one that leads to a visceral, almost operatic sense of tragedy.

Trevante Rhodes plays Chiron as an adult of about thirty—his nickname is “Black”—and he still nurses the wounds from those fateful teen years. Kevin (Andre Holland) enters Black’s life by accident, and they share a night where resentment and reconciliation are equal possibilities.

The first chapter unfolds like a dream, with Jenkins’ camera whirling around its characters as if in play with them. We mostly look up to Little, literally: He is in medium shot, seen from below, so his world seems scary and distorted.

Most of the dialogue in the opening belongs to Ali, who plays Juan. There is an incredible scene that juxtaposes tenderness and tough realism: Juan explains the word “fag” to Little, since it’s

the favorite insult against him. Juan does not condescend to Little, and instead speaks directly, and with as little pity as he can stomach.

The most remarkable thing about Moonlight is how three different actors play Kevin/Chiron, and each version adds resonance to the other two. Rhodes plays the oldest Chiron with some cockiness: he strikes as an intimidating figure, wearing silver grillz and clothes that show off his muscles. But in the film’s final moments, his eyes soften and his presence shrinks to the scared, timid kid from all those years back. Holland and Rhodes have natural, reserved chemistry. Jenkins shoots them in a more traditional way, letting the natural dialogue and intense depth of feeling speak for itself. It might be tempting to see Moonlight as an “issue” film: it is explicitly about the modern black experience, its lead character is gay, and the only substantive female role belongs to a drug addict. But those labels do the film a disservice, since Jenkins and McCraney never waiver from a shared purpose of specificity.

Intentionally or not, Moonlight is like the antithesis of Richard Linklater’s Boyhood. Both films may be about coming of age for a young man, but Linklater’s innovation stops with the novelty of Boyhood’s premise. In Moonlight, the form serves the characters, instead of being broad to a fault. Cinematographer James Laxton bathes black bodies in color that deepen their beauty—the film’s title refers to how black people look when reflected in blue light—while composer Nicholas Britell’s swirling violins are a potent metaphor for the inner demons Chiron would never betray.

The film’s specificity ultimately makes it universal. Though one might not directly relate to it, Moonlight unfolds with such deep, confident perception of its characters and environment that Chiron’s fractured life is beautifully observed, and breathtakingly felt.

—Alan Zilberman Moonlight opens Thursday at Landmark’s E Street Cinema.

VOte Or siGh The Best Democracy Money Can Buy Directed by Greg Palast and David Ambrose

greg Palast and David Ambrose are the co-directors of The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, a documentary about election fraud in the United States. But although Palast is a genuine investigative reporter of some note—namely because of his work uncovering Florida’s shady tactics in the 2000 presidential race—it wouldn’t be surprising if Ambrose was actually a nom de cinema for Michael Bay. Continued

Going Once … Going Twice Don’t Miss Out On Our Silent Auction During

The Daughter of the Regiment THEIR LITTLE SOLDIER GIRL IS ALL GROWN UP...

AND READY FOR LOVE!

Tickets On Sale Now!

Early bird tickets prices are $32.99 per person on Living Social!

Thursday, November 10, 2016 | 5:30 PM – 8:30 PM Pepco Edison Place Gallery | 702 Eighth Street NW | Washington, DC 20068 Eat, mingle and sample ten hand selected wines as you peruse our silent auction -- bid on an amazing array of donated items from local businesses.

Bid on a team autographed jerseys from the Capitals and the Wizards, Tickets to see Louis CK, A Tour and Tasting for You and Your Friends at One Eight Distillery, Tickets to Wizards and Capitals Games, Shooting Packages at the Maryland Small Arms Range, Tickets to the Nutcracker this December, original art, and much more!

All funds raised during this one-night event will support SJCS’ community based programs, assisting in removing barriers to employment, housing, and providing social and recreational opportunities for children and adults with all abilities build better and meaningful lives.

Purchase your tickets on Living Social or call 202-274-3448. When calling mention Code GGDC16.

THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING SPONSORS

La fille du régiment Gaetano Donizetti /Jules-Henri Vernoy de Saint-Georges & Jean-François Bayard

November 12–20 Opera House In French with Projected English Titles | New WNO Production Major support for WNO is provided by Jacqueline Badger Mars.

David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of WNO. WNO acknowledges the longstanding generosity of Life Chairman Mrs. Eugene B. Casey, including underwriting this production of The Daughter of the Regiment.

WNO’s Presenting Sponsor

Linda Moore

Carol Barth & Holly Hamilton

(This is a complete list of our sponsors as of October, 20 2016)

Lawrence Brownlee and Lisette Oropesa in The Daughter of the Regiment, photo by David Bachman

Francesca Zambello, Artistic Director Early Bird Tickets are available until November 3rd - Tickets with be $65 per person at the door the night of the event.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG | (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 25

Jazz

FilmShort SubjectS

Jason Moran, Artistic Director for Jazz

Jimmy Heath at 90 The Kennedy Center celebrates the 90th birthday of legendary saxophonist, composer, bandleader, and NEA Jazz Master Jimmy Heath

Jimmy Heath

With Special Guests Sharel Cassity Stanley Cowell Albert “Tootie” Heath John Lee Tony Purrone Herbie Hancock Roberta Gambarini Frank Greene Freddie Hendrix Gregory Gisbert Michael Philip Mossman Steve Davis

Jason Jackson John Mosca Douglas Purviance Antonio Hart Mark Gross Bobby LaVell Mike Lee Gary Smulyan Jeb Patton David Wong Evan Sherman Dr. Cornel West Mtume Heath

Sunday, October 30 at 8 | Concert Hall The Best Democracy Money Can Buy

Herbie Hancock

Sheila Jordan NEA Jazz Master Sheila Jordan is “one of the most consistently creative of all jazz singers” (All Music Guide). Her first great influence was Charlie Parker and, indeed, most of her influences have been instrumentalists rather than singers.

Friday, November 4 KC Jazz Club

Performances at 7 & 9 p.m. in the Terrace Gallery.

No minimum. Light menu fare available.

Sheila Jordan

The Pedrito Martinez Group The Grammy®-nominated group, led by the consummate master of Afro-Cuban folkloric music and the batá drum, returns to the Center with music from their latest album, Habana Dreams.

Saturday, November 5 KC Jazz Club

Performances at 7 & 9 p.m. in the Terrace Gallery.

No minimum. Light menu fare available.

The Pedrito Martinez Group

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! (202) 467-4600 | KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540 Support for Jazz at the Kennedy Center is generously provided by Elizabeth and Michael Kojaian.

26 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

The Best Democracy Money Can Buy may not have literal explosions and hyperactive editing, but its dizzying volume of numbers, names, facts, and “facts” are just as headache-inducing and bewildering as any Transformers flick.

Posturing as a real-life Dick Tracy in a suit, trench coat, and fedora, Palast serves as your onscreen guide and in-their-faces interviewer, like a more melodramatic Michael Moore.

He brags about the past scandals he’s uncovered and makes clear that this doc is about the theft of the 2016 election, telling viewers, “It’s a crime still in progress.”

(Disclaimer: Anyone looking for direct Trump trashing won’t find it here. With the exception of a clip of his quote that elections are rigged, this film may be the only current media that keeps The Donald out of the picture.)

The most glaring issue with The Best Democracy is the directors’ decision to present the film as a grotesque amalgam of film noir, comic strip, and stylus-shaky animation, as if they wouldn’t be able to hold viewers’ interest otherwise. Palast and his assistant, “chief investigatrix” Leni Badpenny, overact like badasses from a ‘50s thriller, casually throwing around words such as “jive.” Sometimes Palast is situated in an inky Sin City-like background as he’s making calls; other times he’s shown with his head in his hands with drawings around him, as if he just can’t believe the ghastly information he’s learned. Accompanying these shenanigans is a tense, stringed score worthy of Hitchcock.

These visuals clash with a relentless parade of theories, connections, and stats. If you want the gist of the film’s message—remember, it’s about election fraud and voter disenfranchisement—the Koch brothers and their GOP cronies are to blame, having bought off politicians such as Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach,

who created the Interstate Voter Registration Crosscheck Program. The program is a list of 7 million voters authorities suspect of voting multiple times in several states. But there’s one problem: It doesn’t bother to match people’s middle names, and according to Palast, neither birth dates nor Social Security numbers are included on the list. What does that mean for citizens such as Willie Nelson and Rosario Dawson? Both are on the list as suspected felons.

There’s much, much more behind allegedly rigged elections than that. The film goes off on tangents, spending time discussing the oil industry, people who made money off of subprime mortgages, and politicians such as Karl Rove and Mitt Romney. There’s a glancing reference to the Black Lives Matter movement and explanations of methods such as voter “caging” and “spoilage.” You’ll wonder where it’s all going. And even once it gets there, you may not be clear on how the puzzle pieces fit.

The directors’ overwhelming approach to the subject is shameful—it’s a tongue-incheek treatment of a serious matter. What Palast finds is that many of the voters whose rights have been taken away are minorities, often using methods that are directly in conflict with the 1965 Voting Rights Act. Some of what Palast uncovers may be exaggerated, but plenty of it sounds very real. He calls the fraud “lynching by laptop.” It’s just another indefensibly cutesy way of categorizing a huge civil rights issue that has no business being discussed alongside comic-book strips and frivolous scribbles.

—Tricia Olszewski The Best Democracy Money Can Buy opens Friday at the Angelika Pop-Up.

Is the Glass half full?

Is the Glass half empty? how about half off!

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Sat, Nov 5, 8pm • Sixth & I Special thanks: The Abramson Family Foundation

50th Anniversary Season Sponsors: Dr. Gary Mather and Ms. Christina Co Mather

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(202) 785-9727 WashingtonPerformingArts.org

IT’S AN AMAZING TREASURE HUNT! SHOP FOR BARGAINS! THE MID-ATLANTIC’S LARGEST!

SAT 9-6...SUN 11-5

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GREAT PERFORMANCES AT MASON CFA.GMU.EDU

Direct from Shanghai, The P.R. of China

Renowned chamber ensemble

SHANGHAI ACROBATS OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA

ACADEMY OF ST. MARTIN IN THE FIELDS CHAMBER ENSEMBLE

Shanghai Nights

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6 AT 2 P.M.

FRI., NOV. 4 AT 8 P.M. / SAT., NOV. 5 AT 2 P.M. & 8 P.M.

ff

Featuring Schubert’s rarely performed Octet in F major.

This performance is also at the Hylton Performing Arts Center on Sat., Nov. 12 at 8 p.m. Information at HyltonCenter.org. ff

A Patriotic Celebration for Veterans Day!

AMERICAN FESTIVAL POPS ORCHESTRA A Salute to Our Veterans

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 13 AT 2 P.M.

ff

Family Friendly performances that are most suitable for families with younger children

TICKETS

888-945-2468 OR CFA.GMU.EDU

Located on the Fairfax campus, six miles west of Beltway exit 54 at the intersection of Braddock Road and Rt. 123.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 27

SEASON

Books Speed ReadS

2016 2017

The Ties ThaT Blind Bertrand Court

FOLLOW

CONCERTO FOR VIOLIN, ROCK BAND, AND STRING ORCHESTRA BY

R.E.M.’S MIKE MILLS FOR ROBERT MCDUFFIE Thu, Nov 3

BIG HEAD BLUES CLUB FEATURING

BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

THE SONGS OF WILLIE DIXON Fri, Nov 11

BLACK VIOLIN Sat, Nov 12 AN EVENING WITH

JAKE SHIMABUKURO Sun, Nov 20 Mike Mills and Robert McDuffie, Big Head Todd & The Monsters, Black Violin by Lisa Leone, Jake Shimabukuro

STRATHMORE.ORG 301.581.5100 28 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Michelle Brafman Prospect Park Books, 264 pages $24.95 PeoPle who define themselves by what they own or their preferred brand of clothing often mistake the possession of consumer goods for quality of life. This is the case for several characters in Michelle Brafman’s new book Bertrand Court, a blend of many previously published stories in a loosely connected narrative set in and around D.C. Two of these stories involve women coveting and stealing small personal items, which seems like a more nuanced expression of the materialism that pervades these stories. Many characters are so conscious of brands—of what they own and how much it cost, of their artisanal this and their hand-crafted that—that they become downright unsympathetic. What they own or consume becomes too involved with how they feel about each other. As one wife, Becca, muses about her husband: “He’d never complained … when she … went off for five days to a yoga retreat at Kripalu or attended a weeklong shamanic conference in Taos.” Rather, where they travel to, where they buy their lattes, the restaurants they patronize, the jewelry and clothes they wear all define Brafman’s characters to a disturbing degree.

And Brafman wants us to think about this.

In the story “Harvard Man,” Tad finds himself temporarily unemployed and begins to dissolve a bit around the edges: losing his previous, confident identity, as though he was only truly himself when he had a powerful political job and the envy that it commanded. Another story illustrates the disastrous aftermath of a bankruptcy, when Robin, a dental hygienist, is suddenly forced to look at her now-penniless husband—and it is a long, cold look. She faces a grim reality with courage and, though she is angry at her husband, she doesn’t abandon him. But she’s not coddling him either: She deals with their predicament and, in the process, suddenly there’s much less mention of who designed their clothes or what eateries they will patronize. It’s the people, not the things, that grab the spotlight.

It’s difficult not to get caught up in all the entangled, ambivalent relationships in Bertrand Court. The story from the perspective of Rosie Gold—a woman who has a mild mental handicap—is one of the best. It’s not heavy-handed, but rather subtle and convincing. But Brafman’s book works best in the way these characters interconnect from story to story, maintaining the reader’s interest as a novel should: Rosie is Marcus’ sister; his wife, Robin, the dental hygienist, compares her family to that of her brother, Danny, a fantastically successful realtor. While Danny and his family prosper, Robin and her family prepare to double up with her in-laws in unfashionable upper New York state. Robin compares her bankrupt family with Danny’s prosperous one, but nothing comes of the comparison: no sudden understanding, which, given that her family is facing complete disaster is perhaps not surprising. She’s just miserable and has no sudden revelations.

After a while, this book begins to resemble a tale of one big family in which the values are basically all the same. A bankruptcy or adultery may loom like a tornado ahead on the highway, but there’s still time to escape onto a side road. People thrash about in trouble in Bertrand Court, but never succumb to despair; there’s happiness and envy and worry over disaster, but the air of existential dread and desperation waft over these middle-class people like storm clouds that never touch down.

—Eve Ottenberg

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Client: RCN Job #: RCNDC74A_Oct_SHO_CityPaper-1Qtr Size: 4.666”W x 5.1455”H Date: 10/3/16 Prepared By: 718-967-2241 Ken@DeLeonGroup.com ©2016 DELEON GROUP LLC. All rights reserved.

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November 4 & 5 | Eisenhower Theater A short Meet & Greet with the company follows each performance.

Nov. 4: The Meet & Greet is preceded by a free Post-Performance Discussion.

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG | (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office. Groups call (202) 416-8400.

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 29

I.M.P. PRESENTS Echostage • Washington, D.C.

FOALS w/ Bear Hands & Kiev ..................................................................NOVEMBER 3 Grouplove w/ MUNA & Dilly Dally .....................................................NOVEMBER 9 Good Charlotte & The Story So Far

SURPRISE! AT THE CLUB!

THE FLAMING LIPS MARCH 5 & 6 On Sale Thursday, October 27 at 10am

w/ Four Year Strong & Big Jesus ...................................................................NOVEMBER 15

Two Door Cinema Club w/ BROODS ............................NOVEMBER 17

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

Hinds w/ Cold Fronts Early Show! 6pm Doors .............................................Sa OCT 29 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Verizon Center • Washington D.C.

Papadosio (F 28 - w/ Consider The Source • Sa 29 - w/ Soohan)

Late Shows! 10pm Doors ........................................................................... F 28 & Sa 29

GWAR w/ Darkest Hour & Mutoid Man ........................................................... Su 30 Aurora w/ Dan Croll

GREEN DAY w/ Against Me! ..................................................... MARCH 13 Ticketmaster

HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST! First prize wins tickets to every 9:30 show in Nov./Dec.! ................................. M 31

Eric Hutchinson w/ Humming House & Matt Mackelcan

Early Show! 6pm Doors ..................................................................................... W NOV 2

EagleBank Arena • Fairfax, VA

BASTILLE .......................................................................................... MARCH 28 Ticketmaster

NOVEMBER

Låpsley w/ Aquilo Early Show! 6pm Doors............................................................. F 4 Snakehips w/ Lakim Late Show! 10pm Doors ....................................................... F 4 Marillion .......................................................................................................... Sa 5 James Vincent McMorrow w/ Dan Mangan................................................ W 9 Kelsea Ballerini w/ Morgan Evans ............................................................. Th 10 SoMo w/ STANAJ ............................................................................................ Su 13 Atmosphere w/ Brother Ali • deM atlaS • Plain Ole Bill and Last Word ........M 14 Wet w/ Demo Taped Early Show! 6pm Doors ....................................................... Th 17 DIIV w/ Moon King Late Show! 10pm Doors ......................................................... Th 17 Chris Robinson Brotherhood ................................................................. Su 20 Twerksgiving w/ Mathias. & Friends ............................................................ W 23 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Keller Williams’ Thanksforgrassgiving featuring Jeff Austin, Danton Boller, Jay Starling & Nicky Sanders w/ Love Canon .................. F 25 White Ford Bronco: DC’s All 90s Band....................................................Sa 26 The Sounds w/ Zipper Club & My Jerusalem .................................................M 28 Niykee Heaton ............................................................................................. Tu 29 STRFKR w/ Gigamesh & Psychic Twin ............................................................ W 30 DECEMBER

Dark Star Orchestra ......................................................................... F 2 & Sa 3 Animals As Leaders w/ Intervals & Plini .................................................... Su 4 U STREET MUSIC HALL PRESENTS

Jai Wolf w/ Jerry Folk .................................................................................... Th 8 106.7 THE FAN PRESENTS

O.A.R. & The Sports Junkies:

20x20 - Celebrating 20 Years to Benefit Heard the World

DECEMBER 10

9:30 CUPCAKES

Norm Macdonald ..................................................................FRI JANUARY 13 On Sale Friday, October 28 at 10am

THE BYT BENTZEN BALL COMEDY FEST PRESENTS

THIS WEEK!

BRIDGET EVERETT Pound It! with special guests Michael Ian Black,

Melissa Villaseñor, and Jason Weems .............................................................OCTOBER 28 A UHF LIVE COMMENTARY FEATURING

“Weird Al” Yankovic ,

Malcolm Gladwell, Dave Hill, and more! ...............................OCTOBER 30

#ENRICHDC BENEFIT

DALEY and more! ........................................................................................NOVEMBER 6 Henry Rollins Election Night Spoken Word .......................................NOVEMBER 8 THE MOTH PRESENTS

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

1215 U Street NW Washington, D.C. JUST ANNOUNCED!

The Inaugural DC MOTH GrandSLAM..................................NOVEMBER 10

The Naked And Famous MURRAY & PETER PRESENT

w/ XYLØ & The Chain Gang of 1974 ........NOVEMBER 15

A Drag Queen Christmas hosted by Bob the Drag Queen featuring Kim Chi • Naomi Smalls • Alyssa Edwards and more! ..........................NOVEMBER 17

Andra Day w/ Chloe x Halle ......................................................................NOVEMBER 25 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Mike Gordon ..........................................................................................NOVEMBER 29

The Magnetic Fields:

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

50 Song Memoir ................................. MARCH 18 (Songs 1-25) & MARCH 19 (Songs 26-50)

Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds : The Final Performances

with special guests Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin....................................................... MAY 3 • thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL S U R V I V E ..................................F OCT 28 Mr Little Jeans ........................... Tu NOV 1 The Lacs ............................................... Th 3 Flock of Dimes w/ Your Friend ..............F 4 Kero Kero Bonito ............................... Sa 5 The Boxer Rebellion w/ Hey Anna .....Su 6

Monarchy w/ Her ................................... M 7 Calum Scott w/ James Tillman ............. Tu 8 TT The Artist w/ Mighty Mark • TSU Dance Crew • Phizzalas • DJ ManeSqueeze ...... Th 10

Benjamin Francis Leftwich w/ Brolly ............................................... Sa 12

• Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

30 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

930.com

CITYLIST

INER

60S-INSPIRED D Serving

EVERYTHING from

BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

SPACE HOOPTY

A HIP HOP, FUNK & AFRO FUTURISTIC SET with Baronhawk Poitier

FRIDAY NIGHTS, 10:30 - CLOSE

BRING YOUR TICKET

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

Music 31 Theater 35

Music 9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Papadosio, Consider The Source. 10 p.m. $19.50. St. Lucia, Baio. 6 p.m. Sold out. 930.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Margaret Glaspy, Half Waif. 7 p.m. Sold out. dcnine.com.

Fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Ballyhoo!, Bumpin’ Uglies, Higher Education, Never Ending Fall. 8:30 p.m. $20. fillmoresilverspring.com. gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Better Off Dead, Mama Tried. 9 p.m. $10–$14. gypsysallys.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Reckless Kelly, Micky and The Motorcars. 8 p.m. $20–$25. thehamiltondc.com.

STaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. The Legwarmers. 9:30 p.m. $18. thestatetheatre.com.

classical

barnS aT WolF Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Wu Han, Philp Setzer, David Finckel. 8 p.m. $45. wolftrap.org.

KenneDy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington Performing Arts presents Hilary Hahn and Robert Levin. 8 p.m. $38–$95. kennedy-center.org.

FREE SCHAEFERS

World

WITH DJ KEENAN ORR

First Sunday every month

2 - 6pm

hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Big G’s Hotel Cranksylvania featuring Backyard Band, Perf3ction. 11 p.m. $40. thehowardtheatre.com.

Dar ConSTiTuTion hall 1776 D St. NW. (202) 6284780. Yandel, Gadiel, DJ Lobo, De La Ghetto, Alexis & Fido. 7:30 p.m. $35–$75. dar.org.

Folk

hill CounTry barbeCue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Folk Soul Revival. 9:30 p.m. $12–$15. hillcountrywdc.com.

country

eaglebanK arena 4500 Patriot Circle, Fairfax.

(703) 993-3000. Alan Jackson, Lauren Alaina. 7:30 p.m. $55.50. eaglebankarena.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Reckless Kelly, Micky and The Motorcars. 8 p.m. $20–$25. thehamiltondc.com.

Jazz

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Hiroshima. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

TWinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. The Flail.

9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club

oBJEcts oF dEsirE: tHE FilMs oF luis BuñuEl

rock

Go-Go

DAY PARTY

CITY LIGHTS: Friday

Friday

Club

TO GET A

Film 37

ElEctronic

FlaSh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Miss Kittin, Chris Nitti. 8 p.m. $5–$10. flashdc.com.

SounDCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Erick Morillo. 10 p.m. $30. soundcheckdc.com.

Cinephiles with even a passing knowledge of surrealist film know the famous shot in Un Chien Andalou of a razor bisecting an eyeball, a slice that released both a gelatinous pulp and the twisted imagination of the Spanish auteur Luis Buñuel into the universe. “Objects of Desire: The Films of Luis Buñuel,” sponsored by the Embassy of Spain’s Cultural Office, is a comprehensive retrospective of 22 films from the filmmaker’s storied catalog, featuring early, iconoclastic shorts co-written with Salvador Dalí; less-familiar films from his Spanish period; and international powerhouses that cemented his legacy as cinema’s chief critic of religious heresy and bourgeois hauteur. Leaving room for the occasional dabble in neorealism (Los Olvidados, about Mexican street urchins) and studio-system experiment (the tame Robinson Crusoe), most films in this series are the equivalent of Dalí’s lobster telephone: beguiling, uncanny, and unforgettable. Come for a chance to see the master’s great works, including L’Age d’Or, The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, and Viridiana. Stay for the indelible scenes: the aforementioned ocular surgery, ants crawling out of hands, a crucifix festooned with scalps, dinner parties that never end (or start), and a masochistic Catherine Deneuve getting whipped while tied to a tree. The films show between Oct. 27 and Nov. 23 at various venues throughout the region. spainculture.us.

—Zak M. Salih

Funk & r&B

beTheSDa blueS anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Tribute to Tina Turner with Annie Sidley and Friends. 8 p.m. $35–$40. bethesdabluesjazz.com. hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Jeffrey Osbourne. 8 p.m. $75–$95. thehowardtheatre.com.

saturday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Papadosio, Soohan. 10 p.m. $19.50. Hinds, Cold Fronts. 6 p.m. $20. 930.com. gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. The Mantras, Dale, The Z-Dubs. 9 p.m. $13. gypsysallys.com.

univerSiTy oF The DiSTriCT oF Columbia auDiTorium 4200 Connecticut Ave. NW. (202) 274-5900.

Llyr Williams. 2 p.m. $45. udc.edu.

opEra SourCe TheaTre 1835 14th St. NW. (202) 204-7800.

The InSeries: The Romantics. 2:30 p.m. $18–$36. sourcedc.org.

Hip-Hop Fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Lecrae, Ambré. 8:30 p.m. $35. fillmoresilverspring.com.

World gW liSner auDiTorium 730 21st St. NW. (202) 9946800. Noa, Mira Awad. 8 p.m. $41.40. lisner.gwu.edu.

Folk

hill CounTry barbeCue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Bob Schneider and Bonnie Bishop. 9:30 p.m. $22–$25. hillcountrywdc.com.

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Tom Paxton, John McCutcheon. 7:30 p.m. $39.50. birchmere.com.

Vocal

country

barnS aT WolF Trap 1635 Trap Road, Vienna. (703) 255-1900. Laura Benanti. 3 p.m.; 8 p.m. $40–$45. wolftrap.org.

classical

KenneDy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra with violinist Nicola Benedetti performs Tchaikovsky’s Polish Symphony. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Mipso, Sam Lewis. 8 p.m. $15–$20. thehamiltondc.com.

BluEs amp by STraThmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Strathmore Cabaret. 7 p.m. $150–$500. ampbystrathmore.com.

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 31

Jazz

beTheSDa blueS anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Cecile McLorin Salvant. 7 p.m. $45–$60. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

KenneDy CenTer TerraCe gallery 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Tootie Heath. 7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $26–$39. kennedy-center.org.

TWinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. The Flail.

9 p.m.; 11 p.m. $15. twinsjazz.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Jackie Greene, Johnny Irion. 7:30 p.m. $20–$25. thehamiltondc.com. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Frankie Cosmos, Big Thief. 8 p.m. $15. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

classical

ClariCe SmiTh perForming arTS CenTer Stadium Drive and Route 193, College Park. (301) 405-2787.

Jerusalem Quartet. 3 p.m. $10–$25. theclarice.umd.edu.

ElEctronic

eChoSTage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike. 9 p.m. $40–$50. echostage.com.

naTional gallery oF arT WeST garDen CourT 4th Street and Constitution Avenue NW. (202) 8426941. Anderson & Roe Piano Duo. 3:30 p.m. Free. nga.gov.

FlaSh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Whomadewho, DJ Lisa Frank, Julius Jetson, Philco. 8 p.m. $10–$30. flashdc.com.

SixTh & i hiSToriC Synagogue 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Kennedy Center Chamber Players perform Beethoven. 7 p.m. $18–$23. sixthandi.org.

SounDCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429.

Soundcheck Saturdays: Halloween Edition. 10 p.m.

Free. soundcheckdc.com.

Jazz

Funk & r&B

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Black Masala, Bastard Bearded Irishmen, The Fuss. 9:30 p.m. $12. dcnine.com. hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Jeffrey Osbourne. 8 p.m. $75–$95. thehowardtheatre.com.

sunday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. GWAR, Darkest Hour, Mutoid Man. 7 p.m. $25. 930.com. blaCK CaT baCKSTage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Garrett Klahn. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.

Fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Streetlight Manifesto. 6 p.m. $20. fillmoresilverspring.com. galaxy huT 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Misery Loves Co. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

beTheSDa blueS anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Cecile McLorin Salvant.

7:30 p.m. $45–$60. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Roy Hargrove. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

KenneDy CenTer ConCerT hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Jimmy Heath at 90. 8 p.m. $20–$55. kennedy-center.org.

TWinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Abby Schaffer Quartet. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

ElEctronic

FlaSh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Dewalta, Navbox, Jubilee, Feroun. 7 p.m. $8. flashdc.com.

SounDCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Hi-Lo. 10 p.m. $25. soundcheckdc.com.

Funk & r&B

hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Sir Joe Quarterman & Free Soul, Lady Mary. 1:30 p.m. $15–$30. thehowardtheatre.com.

CITY LIGHTS: saturday

tootiE HEatH

Here’s a hypothetical situation to ponder: You’re a jazz drummer, a living legend—but you’re playing the night before your NEA Jazz Master brother celebrates his 90th birthday, in the same venue no less. How do you ensure that you neither upstage nor become upstaged? If you’re Tootie Heath, you do it with a program that is guaranteed to be unique. Jimmy Heath, a tenor saxophonist, will obviously not celebrate his Sunday night milestone with four drummers and nothing else. Eighty-one-year-old Tootie, however, brings in a legendary contemporary (Louis Hayes) and two much younger players (Sylvia Cuenca and Joe Saylor) for a one-night feast of rhythm and percussion. At times it’s an ensemble performance, at times an improvised conversation; more often than you’d think, it’s a melodic wonderland. And at no time does it resemble anything that will make you think, “Well, I’ve already seen everything we’ll get at Jimmy’s show tomorrow.” Tootie Heath performs with Louis Hayes, Sylvia Cuenca, and Joe Saylor at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Terrace Gallery, 2700 F St. NW. $39–$45. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Michael J. West 32 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITY LIGHTS: sunday

925 N. Garfield St. Suite A, Arlington, VA (703) 841-5888 www.sehkraftbrewing.com

WEEKLY SPECIALS TUES

growler fills

Butcher Burger In the HAUS

HALF OFF! uHF liVE coMMEntary

“Weird Al” Yankovic has parodied pop hits for nearly four decades, enjoying a career that has outlasted many of the acts he has lampooned. Whether it’s “Eat It” and “Like a Surgeon” or “Amish Paradise” and “White & Nerdy,” everyone remembers a time in their youth when his song parodies were both hilarious and transgressive. But even if you’ve slightly outgrown his songs, there’s still room for Weird Al in your life thanks to UHF, the 1989 cult comedy that applied his satirical skills to the world of low-budget television. And thanks to the Bentzen Ball, you can enjoy UHF in a way that best suits its weirdo antics: with live, Mystery Science Theater 3000-styled commentary from Yankovic, comedian Dave Hill, and UHF co-star Emo Philips.

As for what to expect, Yankovic’s character provides some insight: “We’re gonna have so much fun, we’ll forget about how miserable we are, and how much life sucks, and how we’re all gonna grow old and die someday.” The event begins at 8 p.m. at the Lincoln Theatre, 1215 U St. NW. $35.

(202) 888-0050. thelincolndc.com.

—Chris Kelly

Monday

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. The Orwells, The Symposium, Shirt/Pants. 8:30 p.m. $20. dcnine.com.

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Aurora, Dan Croll. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com.

Hip-Hop

rock

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Dweezil Zappa. 7:30 p.m. $65. birchmere.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Robot Riot, Mundy, Queen Nefertittie, Glittergirl, DJ Kryptic. 9 p.m. $8–$10. dcnine.com. galaxy huT 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Ghosts of Sailors at Sea, Numbers Station, Gordon Withers. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

dJ niGHts

hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Mixtape Halloween Party. 8 p.m. $10. thehowardtheatre.com.

ElEctronic

eChoSTage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. GRiZ, The Geek x Vrv, Haywyre. 9 p.m. $20–$30. echostage.com.

Funk & r&B

beTheSDa blueS anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Clones of Funk. 8 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

tuEsday rock

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Suzanne Vega, Teddy Thompson.

7:30 p.m. $43. birchmere.com.

Fillmore Silver Spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Danny Brown, Maxo Kream, Zelooperz, Innanet James. 8 p.m. $25. fillmoresilverspring.com.

Jazz blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Yvette Spears. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

WEdnEsday

W/ GEEKS WHO DRINK

7pm

in the HAUS SUNDAY

Sehkraft Tailgate Brunch

select Party from 11am - 4pm Drafts Tailgate Buffet served Tue-Fri full nfl package games on the tv’s 11am-4pm Tailgate games, Great beer!

LIVE MUSIC SCHEDULE oct 27 oct 28 nov 3 nov 4 nov 5 nov 7

A Bluegrass Thursday w/ Two Ton Twig & Black Muddy River Taylor Carson full Band A Blue Grass Thursday w/ Gravel Road Bluegrass LATO w/ Dana Parker Hand Painted Swinger NamaSehkraft Yoga & Beer w/ special guest Druminyasa (SOLD OUT!)

NOVEMBER 8 THE OFFICIAL ARLINGTON COUNTY DEMOCRATIC COMMITTEE ELECTION RESULTS VIEWING PARTY Nov 9 nov10

ElEctronic 9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Capital Cities, Kaneholler. 6 p.m. $27.50. 930.com.

TRIVIA

WED

Paul Carlson Studios Violin Recital soul stew NOVEMBER 11

“Dogfish Head & Sehkraft Stand Up for Veterans” Dogfish Head World Wide Stout releasE at 5pm THE DIAL UPS AT 9PM

rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Eric Hutchinson, Humming House, Matt Mackelcan. 6 p.m. $25. 930.com. gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Gettin’ Weir’d, Beggars Tomb. 8 p.m. $8. gypsysallys.com.

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Eric Krasno Band and Doyle Bramhall II. 8 p.m. $30–$35. thehamiltondc.com. manSion aT STraThmore 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Owen Danoff. 7:30 p.m. $17. strathmore.org. roCK & roll hoTel 1353 H St. NE. (202) 388-7625.

Girlpool, Yohuna. 8 p.m. $13. rockandrollhoteldc.com.

nov 12 Nov 14 nov 16 nov 17 nov 18

Michigan football 8PM ALUMNI WELCOME! Sehkraft Open mic night!

Malarkey (Irish Fiddle Music) Bluegrass Thursday w/ Scott Slay & the Rail The Walkaways w/ Hayley Fahey Visit www.sehkraftbrewing.com for show updates and changes

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 33

World

hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Eva Ayllon. 8 p.m. $45–$65. thehowardtheatre.com.

country

STaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. Emerson Drive, Scott Kurt and Memphis 59. 8 p.m. $25–$30. thestatetheatre.com.

Jazz

UPCOMING SHOWS THU NICOLE 10/27 DOLLANGANGER W/ SNAIL MAIL, FOSTER CARROTS

FRI FREE BLUEGRASS 10/28 BOONANZA!

F

28

S & SU 29 – 30

FRIGHT NIGHT

DJ SANITIZE, BÊTE NOIRE DJ DANCE PARTY

SAT FLASHBAND 10/29 HALLOWEEN PARTY FEATURING: DRIVE TFC

SUN PORTALS: DJ KIDD 10/30 MARVEL, CISCERO, NAG CHAMPA ET AL. MON BEERS & BEERDS PRESENT: 10/31 HALLOWEEN BEARD CONTEST + THE SCREWS TUE 11/1

F

SU 6 M

7

F

11

STANDUP COMEDY SHOWCASE

HEADZ AT SONGBYRD

THU 11/3

EMMA G BIRTHDAY SHOW FT. ELI LEV & REX

FRI 11/4

THE QREW OUT ALL NIGHT

WITH DJ TEZRAH

SAT 11/5

SHINING BLADE THEORY, ALLTHEBESTKIDS, PICNIBUS” + RAPTURE NEW WAVE DANCE PARTY

SUN 11/6

HELLO SHARK, TALL FRIEND, THELMA, GOBBINJR

ElEctronic

BluEs

SounDCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Golf Clap, Phil Celeste. 10 p.m. $12–$15. soundcheckdc.com.

Jazz

2 Shows-7 & 10pm

HOBOY, HARVEST TIME! A MID-AUTUMN

WED BRING YOUR OWN 11/2 VINYL W/ DC VINYL

TINA TURNER TRIBUTE CECILE MCLORIN SALVANT

AN EVENING WITH KEVIN WHALUM INCOGNITO FEATURING MAYSA

4

TAB BENOIT LARRY CARLTON SHIRELLES ROCK N’ ROLL HALL OF FAME SALUTE TO THE TROOPS w/ Leonard,

Coleman & Blunt S

12

SU 13 W 16

JOE CLAIR & FRIENDS COMEDY SHOW – 2 Shows JOAN OSBORNE DWELE

JUST ANNOUNCED S

11/26

SU 11/27

MOUSEY THOMPSON & THE JAMES BROWN EXPERIENCE A Gospel According to Jazz

KIRK WHALUM,KEIKO MATSUI &NORMAN BROWN SU 12/4 DRAG SALUTE TO MOTOWN

TWISTED (MATINEE) 3pm

BAR

Cafe NITRO OPTIONS

TH 1/26

JOEY VEGA

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 www. BethesdaBluesJazz.com Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

34 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

amp by STraThmore 11810 Grand Park Ave., North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Jimmy Webb. 8 p.m. $35–$45. ampbystrathmore.com.

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER TH 3

country

STaTe TheaTre 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church.

(703) 237-0300. The Hackensaw Boys, Two Ton Twigs.

8:30 p.m. $13–$16. thestatetheatre.com.

HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY W/ CLONES OF FUNK

W/ MAN ABOUT A HORSE, TWO TON TWIG

muSiC CenTer aT STraThmore 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Concerto by R.E.M’s Mike Mills. 8 p.m. $35–$65. strathmore.org.

TWinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Joe Vetter Quartet. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

GRAMMY WINNER! M 31

classical

FlaSh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Tim Baresko, Clyde P. 8 p.m. $10. flashdc.com.

Funk & r&B

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Brian Culbertson. 7:30 p.m. Sold out. birchmere.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Chantae Cann. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $25. bluesalley.com.

tHursday

The hamilTon 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Mandolin Orange, My Bubba. 7:30 p.m. $18–$35. thehamiltondc.com. beTheSDa blueS anD Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Kevin Whalum. 8 p.m. $30. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blueS alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Jonathan Butler. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $50–$55. bluesalley.com. hoWarD TheaTre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Samuel Prather & Groove Orchestra. 8 p.m. $15–$20. thehowardtheatre.com.

rock

manSion aT STraThmore 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. PUBLIQuartet. 7:30 p.m. $30. strathmore.org.

eChoSTage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Foals, Bear Hands, Kiev. 7 p.m. $35. echostage.com.

ElEctronic

blaCK CaT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. El Ten Eleven, Bayonne. 7:30 p.m. $15. blackcatdc.com.

gypSy Sally’S 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Yarn, Corb Lund. 8 p.m. $12–$15. gypsysallys.com.

Warner TheaTre 513 13th St. NW. (202) 783-4000.

Elvis Costello & the Imposters. 8 p.m. Sold out. warnertheatredc.com.

TWinS Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Twins Jazz Orchestra. 8:30 p.m.; 10:30 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

FlaSh 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Jeremy Olander, Sid Waters, Hawa. 8 p.m. $10–$15. flashdc.com.

SounDCheCK 1420 K St. NW. (202) 789-5429. Anna Lunoe. 10 p.m. $20. soundcheckdc.com.

CITY LIGHTS: Monday

Warrior class

After delivering a captivating speech, Julius Weishan Lee, a promising, young New York Assemblyman, has found himself at the center of the political stage in playwright Kenneth Lin’s Warrior Class. The speech and the man invariably catch the attention of Nathan Berkshire, whom the script describes as “a many faceted political creature.” Deceptively laidback, Nathan’s amiable demeanor conceals a far more calculating core—an essential attribute for someone vetting Lee for Congress. Nathan communicates the rules of the competition through hackneyed sports metaphors—“This is the way the game is played and it’s my job to cover the bases” and rattles off Lee’s experiences— Silver Star in Kuwait, Teach for America, Harvard Law Review—as though these qualifications spawn a self-evident candidacy. People have christened Lee, the religious son of Chinese immigrants, the “Republican Obama”—an allusion approaching farce when Nathan offhandedly asks, “you were born here though, right?” Beneath Lee’s ideal façade lies a troubling and potentially lethal episode with a college flame that threatens to undermine his campaign before it’s begun. Lin’s play is at once an unsurprising portrayal of Washington politics and a nuanced depiction of how power corrodes relationships and how pasts resurface as public and personal liabilities. The performance, a reading of the play, begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Theater Lab, 2700 F St. NW. Free. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Victoria Gaffney

CITY LIGHTS: tuEsday

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

Oct 27

AOIFE O’DONOVAN & WILLIE WATSON

HIROSHIMA 29 TOM PAXTON & JOHN McCUTCHEON

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

28

OCT / NOV SHOWS THU 27 FRI 28

31

HIGHLY SUSPECT

SOLD OUT!

THE 2016

HALLOWEEN

CIRCUS

MUSIC / DANCING / BURLESQUE Teddy SUZANNE VEGA Thompson Brian 4 DELBERT McCLINTON Dunne

Nov 1

tHE orWElls

My look last summer was “hapless gas station robber,” and I had a Spotify playlist—“Summer Dirtbags”—to go with it. Nothing went better with jeans and madras shirts buttoned too low than The Orwells. Rock ’n’ roll is supposed to suck now, and it mostly does, but that news hasn’t reached these Illinois natives who play suburban teen rock like it’s still cool. The result sounds like Titus Andronicus if that band were taken over by The Strokes and had never heard of the Civil War. The influence of early aughts Strokes is even more apparent on “Buddy,” the 86-second track full of banging percussion The Orwells released earlier this month. DC9 staff should keep this warning in mind, however: Frontman Mario Cuomo—no, not that Mario Cuomo— brawled with a sound tech in Dallas earlier this year over Cuomo’s tendency to destroy equipment. It’s best to let these boys do what they want and send the bill later. The Orwells perform with The Symposium and Shirt/Pants at 8:30 p.m. at DC9, 1940 9th St. NW. Sold out. (202) 483-5000. dcnine.com.

—Will Sommer

Theater

43 1/2: The greaTeST DeaThS oF ShaKeSpeare’S TrageDieS Join the original cast of this 2013 Fringe Festival favorite as they once again take up sword and supersoaker in the name of The Bard’s best deaths – a fitting homage in the 400th year celebration of his death, and just in time for Halloween. There will be new scenes, new fights, and a new drinking game. There will still be all the Shakespeare, blood, and bad puns. There will also be pie. (And blood). Logan Fringe Arts Space. 1358 Florida Ave. NE. To Nov. 13. $10–$30. (202) 737-7230. capitalfringe.org. ameriCan hero Three sandwich makers in a mall turn into allies during the Great Recession in this dark comedy from playwright Bess Wohl. Rep Stage at Howard Community College. 10901 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. To Nov. 20. $15–$40. (443) 5181500. repstage.org.

CarouSel Arena’s annual holiday musical comes in the form of this Rogers and Hammerstein classic about a bad boy and a good girl who fall in love, only to encounter great tragedy. Local favorites Nicholas Rodriguez and E. Faye Butler star in this favorite, which features songs including “If I Loved You” and “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 24. $64–$99. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

DanTe’S inFerno Synetic Theater expands its “NotSo-Silent” series with this adaptation of Dante’s epic story about a hero’s journey through the afterlife.

Featuring vivid set designs and physical interactions, this production build on Synetic’s previous interpretation of the work. Synetic Theater at Crystal City.

1800 South Bell St. , Arlington. To Oct. 30. $20–$60.

(866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org.

FloWerS STinK The Kennedy Center and the U.S. Botanic Garden collaborate for a second time on this play geared toward young audiences, in which two plants come to life and help a young, struggling poet when she needs some inspiration. United States Botanic Garden. 100 Maryland Ave. SW. To Oct. 29.

Free. (202) 225-8333. usbg.gov.

angelS in ameriCa Round House Theatre and Olney Theatre Center collaborate to bring both parts of Tony Kushner’s monumental work about a group of New Yorkers in the early days of the AIDS epidemic to the stage. Combining fantasy elements with history, the play is presented in two parts and will be performed in repertory. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Oct. 30. $36–$56. (240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org.

FreaKy FriDay A mother and her teenage daughter magically swap bodies in this lively new musical based on Mary Rodgers’ novel that subsequently inspired two films. Parenthood writer Bridget Carpenter and Next to Normal authors Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey collaborate on this world premiere. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Nov. 20. $40–$99. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

beerToWn’S 21ST QuinQuennial Time CapSule Day Ceremony Experimental theater collective dog & pony dc puts a new spin on its ongoing project which follows residents of a small town as it unpacks its time capsule every five years. This updated version incorporates more artifacts from life in the District and features performances by local actors. Thurgood Marshall Center. 1816 12th St. NW. To Nov. 7.

(202) 462-8314. tmcsh.org.

girl in The reD Corner A young woman takes up mixed martial arts as a hobby, much to the dismay of her family and coach, who expect her to be a lightweight, in this new play from playwright Stephen Spotswood and presented by The Welders. When the things she learns in the ring start to intersect with her daily life, Halo must decide how to conduct herself.

Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. To Nov. 20. $15–$30. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

20 Year Reunion

5

All Original BAND Members McGEE PAT w/Gareth + Guest Asher

6

JOSHUA RADIN (Band)

FRI 28 BAE BAE PRESENTS SAT 29

EIGHTIES MAYHEM

HALLOWEEN EDITION COSTUMES ENCOURAGED

SAT 29 GAY//BASH

GARRETT KLHAN

American Songwriter Presents

SUN 30

“Devil In Me Tour” w/BRENT COBB

MON 31

10

ANDERSON EAST

HALLOWEENER

DRAG SHOW / DANCE PARTY

w/GOOD OLD WAR

9

K-POP

HALLOWEEN DANCE PARTY

DARK & STORMY

DANCE / ELECTRO / RETRO

BRANDY CLARK KAREN JONAS

HALLOWEEN EDITION

PAULA POUNDSTONE 15 ACOUSTIC ALCHEMY MASON DAVE 16 “Alone Together Again”

THU 3

EL TEN ELEVEN

FRI 4

LIGHTS & MUSIC PRESENTS:

SAT 5

THE WHITE BUFFALO

OLETA ADAMS 19 SUZANNE WESTENHOEFER 20 HERMAN’S HERMITS featuring PETER NOONE 21& JOAN 22 PATTY GRIFFIN SHELLEY BONEY JAMES 23 25 THE SELDOM SCENE & DRY BRANCH FIRE SQUAD 26& 27 CHARLES ESTEN w/Taylor Noelle (26) & Blake Esse (27)

SUN 6

THE INTERRUPTERS

11&13

18

AMY RAY & CHELY WRIGHT STEVE TYRELL 29 30 A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS

FRI 11

BAYONNE

DANCE YOURSELF CLEAN

WILD BEASTS

THU NOV 3 EL TEN ELEVEN

28

with

Peter White, Rick Braun, Euge Groove

STEEP CANYON RANGERS 2 DAR WILLIAMS 'RETURN TO MORTAL CITY'

Dec 1

THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR

SAT NOV 5

THE WHITE BUFFALO TAKE METRO! WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 35

TRIVIA EVERY M O N D AY & W E D N E S D AY

$10 BURGER & BEER MON-FRI 4 P M -7 P M

LIVE

CITY LIGHTS: WEdnEsday

UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

RECKLESS

KELLY W/ MICKY AND THE MOTORCARS

600 beers from around the world

FRIDAY OCT

Downstairs: good food, great beer: all day every day

MIPSO

*all shows 21+ OCT 27TH

W/ SAM LEWIS

PUMPKIN BEER TAPPING FEATURING BEERS FROM ELYSIAN BREWING

SATURDAY

OCT 29TH

DC BRAU HALLOWEEN TAPPING NOV 8TH

ELECTION DAY WIND DOWN TAPPING FEATURING DC BRAU BEERS PLUS 2 LIMITED BARREL AGED BEERS NOV 19TH

BREWERY OMMEGANG TAP TAKEOVER DEC 2ND

BOURBON COUNTY 5 YEAR VERTICAL TAPPING (2012-2016) DEC 9TH

BATTLE OF THE BARRELS TAPPING 10 BARREL AGED BEERS OCTOBER 27TH

UNDERGROUND COMEDY SHOW STARTS AT 8:30PM

ELYSIAN BREWING PUMPKIN AND SPECIALTY TAPPING

28

OCT 29

SUN, OCT 30

JACKIE GREENE W/ JOHNNY IRION WED, NOV 2

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

ERIC KRASNO BAND AND DOYLE BRAMHALL II THURS, NOV 3

MANDOLIN ORANGE W/ MY BUBBA

FRI, NOV 4

AN EVENING WITH

7PM & 10:30PM

REBIRTH BRASS BAND

AT 5PM

OCTOBER 28TH

STARR STUCK COMEDY DOORS AT 7PM SHOW AT 8PM

THEHAMILTONDC.COM

OCTOBER 29TH

HA!LLOWEEN: PART THEME PARTY. PART COMEDY SHOW. DOORS AT 4PM SHOW AT 5PM

MONSTER MOVIES: A BURLESQUE TRIBUTE TO MOVIE MONSTERS DOORS AT 8PM SHOW AT 9PM

DC BRAU TAPPING & SAMPLING NIGHT 5PM

OCTOBER 30TH

ROCKY HORROR TITTY SHOW: A BURLESQUE TRIBUTE

D.C.’s

awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

DOORS AT 2PM SHOW AT 3PM 1523 22nd St NW – Washington, DC 20037 (202) 293-1887 - www.bierbarondc.com @bierbarondc.com for news and events

washingtoncitypaper.com

36 october 28, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

FrEd arMisEn

For six seasons, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein have pilloried hipster culture on Portlandia, often casting and parodying icons from the world of indie rock, from Aimee Mann to Eddie Vedder and beyond. At first glance, you might think that those cameos were favors called in by Brownstein, who’s best known for gigs in Sleater-Kinney and Wild Flag, but Armisen’s musical background shouldn’t be understated. Before he broke through on Saturday Night Live, he was the drummer for influential post-hardcore punks Trenchmouth, and in recent years, he’s seen both his comedy and music careers dovetail. Along with serving as the bandleader on Late Night With Seth Meyers, he’s parodied country (as the Harkin Brothers, with Brownstein), punk (as Ian Rubbish and The Bizzaros), yacht rock (as Blue Jean Committee, with Bill Hader), and Talking Heads (as Test Pattern, also with Hader). These aren’t just one-off gags, either: He’s recorded full albums of Blue Jean Committee and Test Pattern material, and, before Portlandia returns for a seventh season, he’s embarking on a five-date tour where he’ll play the music that inspired these personas. And with his and Brownstein’s collective Rolodex, who knows who else could be in the band. Fred Armisen performs with Ana Fabrega at 10 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $30. (202) 265-0930. 930.com.

—Chris Kelly The gulF Two women intending to spend a day relaxing on the water find themselves in a sticky situation after their boat’s motor breaks and they get trapped in the Gulf of Mexico. Signature Theatre presents the world premiere of this comedy from playwright Audrey Cefaly about what happens when nature derails your plans. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Nov. 6. $40–$89. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

KiSS A double date turns into a confessional when four friends reveal secret desires and upend their worlds in this engaging comedy from Chilean playwright Guillermo Calderón. Woolly Mammoth Theatre, Melton Rehearsal Hall. 641 D St. NW. To Nov. 6. $20–$69. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

The liTTle FoxeS Arena Stage kicks off its Lillian Hellman festival with this drama about an ambitious social climber and her even more calculating brothers who run through a series of plans in order to gain wealth as quickly as possible. CSI actress Marg Helgenberger stars as Regina Giddens, the woman who strives to out earn her family. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Oct. 30. $55–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. mary poppinS The well-loved movie musical about a nanny who brightens the lives of two dour children becomes a high-flying stage show in this production that features songs like “Supercalifragalisticexpealidocious” and “Practically Perfect.” Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To Jan. 1. $18–$80. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. milK liKe Sugar After making a pact with her friends on her 16th birthday, Annie forces herself to look at the world differently. By interacting with different world views for the first time, she learns more about herself and her goals for the future. Mosaic Theater Company presents this Obie-winning play, directed by Jennifer L. Nelson. Atlas Performing Arts

Center. 1333 H St. NE. To Nov. 27. $20–$60. (202) 3997993. atlasarts.org.

The nighT alive Quotidian Theatre Company presents Conor McPherson’s latest play in its season opener. Set in Dublin, the action follows a grumpy, unemployed man who befriends a young prostitute.

When her boyfriend shows up, the group must figure out what their relationship means. Quotidian Theatre Company at The Writer’s Center. 4508 Walsh St., Bethesda. To Nov. 20. $15–$30. (301) 816-1023. quotidiantheatre.org. romeo & JulieT Shakespeare Theatre Company opens its 2016-2017 season with the classic tale of star-crossed lovers whose relationship sends the lives of their feuding families into chaos. Andrew Veenstra and Ayana Workman star as the title characters in this production directed by Alan Paul. Lansburgh Theatre. 450 7th St. NW. To Nov. 6. $44–$114.

(202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

SenSe anD SenSibiliTy The Dashwood sisters and their desire for love and companionship remains as timeless as ever in this stage adaptation of Jane Austen’s first novel. Local favorite Erin Weaver joins firsttime Folger player Maggie McDowell in this production directed by Eric Tucker. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To Oct. 30. $30–$75. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.

Tame. This new play from author (and City Paper contributor) Jonelle Walker imagines the plot of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew from the perspective of the woman being tamed. When a young woman is forced by her family and an alluring young pastor to conform to traditional gender roles, a series of explosive comedic encounters unfold. Gunston Arts Center, Theatre Two. 2700 South Lang St., Arlington. To Dec. 11. $10–$50. (703) 418-4808. wscavantbard.org.

The Threepenny opera Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weil’s musical tale about the villainous antihero

FROM THE CREATORS OF Ghost in the Shell

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Maria sEMplE

As a former writer for Arrested Development and Beverly Hills, 90210, author Maria Semple is no stranger to class anxiety. In Today Will Be Different, her third novel, Semple puts her keen sense of character to good use. The story follows self-conscious middle-aged Eleanor Flood through a single, hectic day spent racing around her upper-class Seattle neighborhood. “Today will be different,” Eleanor repeats to herself, as she attempts to deal with the highly satirized fellow parents at her local school, her secretive husband Joe, and their son Timby (an autocorrected bastardization of Timothy), who’s faking sick. Though it’s funny throughout, the emotional core of the book comes in a wholly unexpected form—a 16-page graphic-novel-style insert “created”

by Eleanor, narrating a childhood story that’s shaped her. Existing in Eleanor Flood’s stream of consciousness is at once nerve-wracking, hilarious, and emotionally searing. Any way about it, it’s different. Maria Semple speaks at 7 p.m. at Politics & Prose, 5015 Connecticut Ave. NW. Free.

(202) 364-1919. politics-prose.com.

—Noa Rosinplotz

Macheath, who manages to evade a certain death thanks to some godly machinations, comes to life through students at George Mason University’s School of Theater. George Mason University Center for the Arts. 4373 Mason Pond Drive, Fairfax. To Oct. 30. $15–$30. (888) 945-2468. cfa.gmu.edu.

WiTCh Convergence Theatre Collective draws on Jacobean legend to tell a spooky story about a woman persecuted for her beliefs. Incorporating sound and visual projections, the production explores the nature of wickedness just in time for Halloween. Flashpoint Mead Theatre Lab. 916 G St. NW. To Oct. 30. $6–$18. (202) 315-1305. culturaldc.org.

The year oF magiCal ThinKing Kathleen Turner stars in this solo performance, an adaptation of Joan Didion’s 2003 memoir about the sudden death of her husband and her subsequent experiences over the course of a year. Poignant and searing, the play explores the force of tragedy. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Nov. 20. $70–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

Film

ameriCan paSToral Ewan McGregor makes his directorial debut with this adaptation of Philip Roth’s acclaimed novel about a man whose life falls apart after his daughter’s political affiliations lead to tragedy. Starring Jennifer Connelly, Dakota Fanning, and David Strathairn. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) boo! a maDea halloWeen Tyler Perry directs, writes, and once again dons a gray wig to play the eccentric and cranky Southern granny in this spooky comedy that finds Madea chasing off ghouls, ghosts, and zombies. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

STARTS FRI. 10/28 LANDMARK THEATRES

E STREET CINEMA

E STREET & 11TH STREET NW (202) 783-9494 WASHINGTON

Washington City Paper Wednesday, 10/26 1/8Pg(2.25x5.1455) Color

The eagle hunTreSS Daisy Ridley narrates this documentary about a Mongolian teenager who sets her sights on becoming her family’s first female eagle hunter in 12 generations. Directed by Otto Bell. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) inFerno Tom Hanks once again assumes the role of Professor Robert Langdon in this adaptation of Dan Brown’s novel. This time, Langdon and his doctor must work through allusions to Dante’s Inferno in order to prevent a madman from decimating the world with a powerful virus. Directed by Ron Howard. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) JaCK reaCher: never go baCK Tom Cruise stars in this action-packed thriller based on the book series

by Lee Child. In this adventure, Reacher must figure out if a former collaborator has committed espionage. Directed by Edward Zwick. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) Keeping up WiTh The JoneSeS Greg Mottola of Superbad fame directs this action comedy about a suburban couple who suspect their neighbors might be spies. Starring Isla Fisher, Zach Galifianakis, Jon Hamm, and Gal Gadot. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) moonlighT A young man growing up in a rough Miami neighborhood attempts to discover his desires and find some direction in his life in this moving film from director Barry Jenkins. Starring Mahershala Ali, Shariff Earp, and Duan Sanderson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) ouiJa: origin oF evil In yet another film inspired by the spooky spirit-summoning board, a young girl is possessed by an evil spirit and her family must play the game in order to get her back. Written and directed by Mike Flanagan. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

A TALE OF BILLIONAIRES & BALLOT BANDITS EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28

WASHINGTON, DC ANGELIKA POP-UP AT UNION MARKET 550 Penn St NE (571) 512-3313 angelikafilmcenter.com

Join GREG PALAST & Special Guest for Q&As after select shows this weekend washingtoncitypaper.com october 28, 2016 37

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Legals SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE DIVISION 2016 ADM 1214 Name of Decedent, Sonjia Johnson Baker Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs, Allen Johnson, whose address is 2300 Good Hope Road SE, Washington, DC 20020, Apt 915 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Sonjia Johnson Baker, who died on December 11, 2015, without a Will and will serve without Court Supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose wherabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 4/27/2017.

Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or to the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 4/27/2017, or be forever barred. Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship.

Date of first publication: 10/27/2016 Name of Newspaper and/or periodical: Washington City Paper/ Daily Law Reporter Name of Person Representative: Allen Johnson.

TRUE TEST copy http://www.washingtonciAnne Meister typaper.com/ Register of Wills Pub Dates: October 27, November 3, 10.

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Legals WASHINGTON LATIN PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Issued: October 28, 2016 The Washington Latin Public Charter School solicits expressions of interest in the form of proposals with references from qualifi ed vendors for computers and cart suppliers. Questions and proposals may be e-mailed directly to aporcelli@latinpcs.org and gizurieta@latinpcs.org.

Deadline for submissions is 12pm (noon) November 4, 2016. No phone calls please. E-mail is the preferred method for responding but you can also mail (must arrive by deadline) proposals and supporting documents to the following address: Washington Latin Public Charter School Attn: Finance Offi ce 5200 2nd Street NW Washington, DC 20011 DC BILINGUAL PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL Request for Proposals

Duplexes/Townhouses For Sale Completely Reno 3 lvl, 3 Beds, 3.5 Bathes TH in Federal Hill.

Feat. incl. SS Appl, Granite CNPT, Hrdwd. Fl, and a RfTp Deck, Layout ideal for Roommates; walk to Harbor, Cafe and Bars . Access to Public Transp & DC Metro. Listed for 329K. cont. Sharon at Rebate Realty USA 443-675-6700 Cell: 443-929-3005.

Office/Commercial For Sale Seeking partners for 5000sqft building in Cheverly, MD recording studio with video space inside and out, rehearsal space and meeting rooms, parking for 16 vehicles, private yard in rear, handicap accessiblity. Near New National Harbor MGM Hotel. Also Avail offices in NW DC/ Petworth area. $1200 -$2500 rent, utils incl. Call 202-3552068 or 301-772-3341.

Real Estate Agents

DC Bilingual Public Charter School is opening a bid for Transportation Services. Please email bids@bridgespcs.org to receive a full RFP offering, with more detail on scope of work and proposal requirements. Proposals must be submitted by Friday, November 4, 2016 by 5:00 pm via email.

Please include the bid category for which you are submitting as the subject line in your e-mail.

PUBLIC AUCTION Nov. 12, 2016 10:30 AM start 7436 Old Alex Ferry Road Clinton, MD Johnson M&S will sell these lots of household goods for fees due: P. Adams, T.Robinson, C.Reid, A.Scott, C.Thomsen, T.Dupree.

ADOPTION: Loving couple hopes to adopt. A happy home & a secure life awaits 1st baby.

Expenses pd. Debra & Ike, 1-88849-0803.

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Moving?

Find A Helping Moving?

Find A Helping Hand Today Hand Today

Vanessa Knecht. Realtor. Optime Realty, 202 329 0276. vanessa@kerishullteam.com.

On the top team in the area. When the time is right, contact Vanessa for a fun, stress-free, and rewarding home buying experience.

Condos for Rent Adams Morgan/Petworth First Month ‘s Rent free. 1BR with den condo, fully renovated, secure building, granite kitchen, new appliances, W/D, DW, CAC. Metro 1 block away, Safway across the st, assigned parking, $1850/mo. Ready now. NO PETS. 941 Randolph St. NW. Mr Gaffney, 202-829-3925 or 301-775-5701.

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Houses for Rent

Brookland. Bright beautiful bungalow 5 blocks from Brookland metro 2 bdrm 2 full bath driveway w/d big front and back porch $2600/month plus utilities available Jan 1st 202-269-4720

Roommates ALL AREAS: ROOMMATES. COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke?

Find the perfect roommate to compliment your personality and lifestyles at Roommates.com!

Rooms for Rent Rooms for rent in Cheverly, Maryland and College Park.

Shared bath. Private entrance.

W/D. $650-$750/mo. including utilities, security deposit required. Two Blocks from Cheverly Metro. 202-355-2068, 301-7723341.

Capitol Hill Living: Furnished Rooms for short-term and longterm rental for $1,100! Near Metro, major bus lines and Union Station - visit website for details www.TheCurryEstate.com ROOM FOR RENT 14th St NW 2 blocks from Columbia Heights Metro Station, for international students, men. $580/mo. Contact Ana, 202/306-1639.

Business Opportunities PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 A Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required.

Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www.WorkingCentral.Net

Education

Home Services

Two Rivers PCS is seeking companies or individuals to provide visual art instruction for middle school students. Approx.

12 hours/week of instruction and planning beginning in Jan. 2017.

For more info email procurement@tworiverspcs.org.

Got Rats? I killed mine with a special mix rats love. Kills roaches too! No poison. dcbroker1@ gmail.com $20.

General

NIGHTCLUB: DANCERS up to $1,000 nightly. after 7pm mcdoogals 1 800 ALL NUDE AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563

Miscellaneous Flyer Distributors Needed Monday-Friday and weekends.

We drop you off to distribute the fl yers. NW, Bethesda, Silver Spring, Wheaton. $9/hr. 301237-8932

Restaurant/Hospitality/ Hotel Walsh Construction & THE LINE HOTEL are holding an Employment Event on Wednesday November 2, 2016 from 5 – 7 pm at the Festival Center located at 1640 Columbia Rd NW, NW, Washington, DC 20009. Seeking ALL Tradesmen / Bring your resume!! THE LINE HOTEL senior staff will be available to discuss future job openings at the hotel including: Housekeepers, Doormen, Front Desk, Concierge, Engineering, Restaurant Servers, Bartenders, etc. If interested come with your resume. If you are unable to attend you may also submit your resume to jobs.dc@thelinehotel. com or call 202-560-5639

Garage/Yard/ Rummage/Estate Sales HUGE RUMMAGE SALE! Saturday 10/29, 9 am–2 pm.

Clothes, housewares, art, sporting goods, jewelry, collectibles, toys — 4 block north of Dupont Circle Metro St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, 1820 Connecticut Ave. NW www.stmargaretsdc.org/rummage-sale Flea Market every weekend 10am-4pm. 5615 Landover Rd. Cheverly, MD. 20784. Contact 202-355-2068 or 301-772-3341 for details.

Miscellaneous “Foreign Service Agent,” Teen Book Ages 12-19, by Sidney Gelb. www.barnesandnoble.com, 1-800-843-2665. Order today!

“Kids Story Book Two,”Ages 9-12. by Sidney Gelb. www.barnesandnoble.com, 1-800-8432665. Order today!

Cars/Trucks/SUVs

NEED A CAR, TRUCK or SUV? Over 1,000 vehicles!

Gross monthly income must be 2k min - 2 current Pay-Stubs & 1 recent Bill required.

Jason @ 202.704.8213 -Hyattsville, MD

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CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/ Truck 2000-2015, Running or Not! Top Dollar For Used/Damaged. Free Nationwide Towing! http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ Call Now: 1-888-420-3808

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Puzzle

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36 1 The basics 5 Tomato dropping 37 on the floor sound 38 10 Say you’ll 39 be going to 40 the party 41 14 Zippo 15 Italian luxury fashion house 42 16 One to grow on?

17 London mayor’s 43 phantom? tp://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ 20 Polish off 46 21 Strongly pushed 22 Credit line, e.g.

47 23 Area in front of an ice 51 hockey goal 53 25 Just kinda meh 56 26 Pull a banshee?

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Pakistan president after Chaudhry Laughing syllables Pluckiness Some queens 4 x 4, briefly Fiery cheeseburger restaurant Political satirist Will Apparition will start wooing?

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Junior in the NFL Hall of Fame Get rid of Old character Mash down “We’ll deal with this later” New Girl girl

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1 Central Mexican tribe 2 Joy on The View 3 Zeus’ island birthplace 4 Farm mom 5 One offering clemency 6 Fuddy-duddy 7 Behind the times 8 Adderall treats it 9 Chinese belief 10 Jaunty 11 Networking type 12 True, in Tours 13 ___ up (confined)

18 Needing some practice 19 Hits with a whip 24 Posits 25 Sneak, e.g.

27 Cheap prefix 28 Poisonous 29 Hispanic dude 30 180s 31 Have some legs 32 Pound, as a beer 33 Words on the Bible 34 One-piece Chinese dress 38 The ___ Radio Hour (storytelling show) 39 Keister 41 Lacking new ideas 42 Tense state 44 Improve, as an auto engine 45 Linguist’s topics 48 Bach piece 49 Bad signs 50 Freelancer’s quotes 51 Thin fog 52 First subtopic 53 Hot guy 54 Actress Hatcher 55 Proof words 58 One working with checks and balances?

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Out with the old, In with the new LAST WEEK: PREPARED SPEECH Post your listing M O M with E G G E D Washington C R E T E A C E City Paper C H A N G E T H E T Classifieds E M O R Y A O N E W A S H O N E http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/I O C U P S Z A I S H O W E R W D O C O C O I R K S W H A M O M B B A A O L L O C K E R R A T S L U M M I H I E S

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Volunteer Services

Defend abortion rights. Washington Area Clinic Defense Task Force (WACDTF) needs volunteer http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ clinic escorts Saturday mornings, weekdays. Trainings, other info:202-681-6577, http://www. wacdtf.org, info@wacdtf.org.

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Counseling

Voice/Keyboards & Piano-Imaginative, stimulating teacher of pop, r&b, neo-soul, gospel, jazz and classical. Offering lessons in my studio, your home or via Skype/Facetime. Call 202-486-3741 or email dwightmcnair@aol.com. www.dwightmcnair.com

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Get your own internet radio station or talk show, and Non-profi ts we can help with grantwriting, webHealth & Beauty Products sites, information technology, and organizational management AIRLINE CAREERS begin here at (202) 436-9763 if not available – Get started by training as leave a message or at wnpfm101. http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ FAA certified Aviation Technicom cian. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assisBands/DJs for Hire tance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 800-725-1563 DJ DC SOUL man. Hiphop, reggae, go-go, oldies, etc. Clubs, Viagra!! 52 Pills for Only caberets, weddings, etc. Contact $99.00. Your #1 trusted provider the DC Soul Hot Line at 202/286for 10 years. Insured and Guaran1773 or email me at dc1soulteed Delivery. Call today 1-888man@live.com.

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Musicians Available Bassisit available - highly experienced. R & B, oldies, jazz & smooth jazz, a-little blues. Smoke and drug-free. Has transpo and decent equiptment. Will rehearse in you have gigs. 301-675-8739.

Upcoming Shows

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY & SPIRIT THE ANISSA HARGROVE EXTRAVAGANZA FEATURING GRAMMY AWARD WINNER, GLORIA GAYNOR “I WILL SURVIVE” FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY AT THE BETHESDA JAZZ AND BLUES SUPPER CLUB THURSDAY,OCTOBER 27TH 8PM 7719 WISCONSIN AVENUE BETHESDA MD

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27TH. TICKETS ON SALE NOW AT W W W. B E T H E S D A B L U E S JAZZ.COM https://anissahargrovemusic.com

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ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE – ADVERTISING SALES Washington City Paper has an immediate opening for an outside sales position responsible for selling and servicing our advertising and media partner clients across our complete line of marketing solutions including print advertising in Washington City Paper, digital/online advertising on washingtoncitypaper.com and across our Digital Ad Network, as well as event sponsorship sales.

In addition to selling and servicing existing accounts, Account Executives are responsible for generating and selling new business revenue by finding new leads, utilizing a consultative sales approach, and making compelling presentations.

You must have the ability to engage, enhance, and grow direct relationships with potential clients and identify their advertising and marketing needs. You must be able to prepare and present custom sales presentations with research and sound solutions for those needs. You must think creatively for clients and be consistent with conducting constant follow-up. Extensive in-person & telephone prospecting is required. Your major focus will be on developing new business through new customer acquisition and selling new marketing solutions to existing customer accounts. Account Executives, on a weekly basis, perform in person calls to a minimum of 10-20 executive level decision makers and/or small business owners and must be able to communicate Washington City Papers value proposition that is solution-based and differentiates us from any competitors. Account Executive will be responsible for attaining sales goals and must communicate progress on goals and the strategies and tactics used to reach revenue targets to Washington City Paper management.

Qualifications, background, and disposition of the ideal candidate for this position include:

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• Two years of business to business and outside customer sales experience • Experience developing new territories & categories including lead generation and cold calling • Ability to carry and deliver on a sales budget • Strong verbal and written communication skills http://www.washingtonci• Able to work both independently and in a team typaper.com/ environment • Energetic, self-motivated, possessing an entrepreneurial spirit and strong work ethic • Organized, detail and results oriented with professional presentation abilities • Willing to embrace new technology and social media • MS Office suite proficiency - prior experience with a CMR/CMS software application • Be driven to succeed, tech savvy, and a world class listener • Enjoy cultivating relationships with area businesses

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In with the new Post For consideration please send an with your listing introduction letter and resume to Washington City Melanie Babb at mbabb@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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Looking for a Financial Consultant Meet Brendan. who’s into The small town values of Vienna are what drew Brendan to raise his family here. Those same values are also drew Brendan to Schwab, because he understands that values like straight talk and accountability have a accountability? what place in wealth management. And he knows that trust anchors any good relationship. If you find this modern approach to wealth management compelling, stop by the Schwab Tysons Corner branch or give Brendan a call.

Brendan Hughes, CFP® VP, Sr. Financial Consultant Tysons Corner 703-761-1570

Wealth Management at Charles Schwab

Schwab ranked “Highest in Investor Satisfaction with Full-Service Brokerage Firms.”*

PLANNING | PORTFOLIO MANAGEMENT | INCOME STRATEGIES | BANKING

For a full list of branches in the DC area, visit Schwab.com/DC Brokerage Products: Not FDIC Insured • No Bank Guarantee • May Lose Value

There are eligibility requirements to work with a dedicated Financial Consultant.

Branch located at: 1650 Tysons Blvd., Suite #150, Tysons Corner, VA 22102 To see how Schwab stands by our word, visit www.schwab.com/accountability *Charles Schwab received the highest numerical score in the J.D. Power 2016 Full-Service Investor Satisfaction Study, based on 6,006 responses from 20 firms measuring opinions of investors who used full-service investment institutions and were surveyed in January 2016. Your experiences may vary. Visit jdpower.com.

Wealth management refers to products and services available through the operating subsidiaries of the Charles Schwab Corporation of which there are important differences including, but not limited to, the type of advice and assistance provided, fees charged, and the rights and obligations of the parties. It is important to understand the differences when determining which products and/or services to select.

The Charles Schwab Corporation provides a full range of brokerage, banking, and financial advisory services through its operating subsidiaries. Its broker-dealer subsidiary, Charles Schwab & Co., Inc. (“Schwab”), Member SIPC, offers investment services and products, including Schwab brokerage accounts. Its banking subsidiary, Charles Schwab Bank (member FDIC and an Equal Housing Lender), provides deposit and lending services and products. ©2016 The Charles Schwab Corporation. All rights reserved. (0516-FY6J) ADP77864-03

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