Washington City Paper (December 6, 2019)

CITYPAPER WASHINGTON

NEWS: COUNCILMEMBER OUTS A WHISTLEBLOWER 4 SPORTS: A GEORGETOWN TRACK COACH LEADS 6 ARTS: PLAY AN ARCADE GAME FULL OF GARBAGE 26

FREE VOLUME 39, NO. 49 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DEC. 6-12, 2019

How-To Holidays A step-by-step guide to securing 10 meaningful and very D.C. gifts P. 8

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INSIDE

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COVER STORY: HOW-TO HOLIDAYS

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Unexpected gift ideas for the cashstrapped and curious, from the minds of City Paper contributors

DISTRICT LINE 4 Loose Lips: Anita Bonds outs a whistleblower; 12 CMs want to oust Jack Evans.

SPORTS 6 On Track: Georgetown track and field director Julie Culley wants to transform the way women runners are coached.

FOOD 14 Beer Money: D.C.’s brewers weigh in on the beer industry’s wages.

ARTS 26 Galleries: Capps on Focus Group at von ammon co. and Exodus at Watergate Office Building 28 Sketches: Sarappo on What is Feminist Art? at the Archives of American Art 29 Liz at Large: “Now” 30 Short Subjects: Gittell on The Aeronauts

CITY LIST 33 Music 34 Theater 36 Film

DIVERSIONS 15 37 38 39

Scene and Heard Savage Love Classifieds Crossword

On the cover: Photograph by Darrow Montgomery Cover design by Maddie Goldstein

DARROW MONTGOMERY 400 BLOCK OF M STREET SW, NOV. 30

EDITORIAL

EDITOR: ALEXA MILLS MANAGING EDITOR: CAROLINE JONES ARTS EDITOR: KAYLA RANDALL FOOD EDITOR: LAURA HAYES SPORTS EDITOR: KELYN SOONG LOOSE LIPS REPORTER: MITCH RYALS CITY DESK REPORTER: AMANDA MICHELLE GOMEZ CITY LIGHTS EDITOR: EMMA SARAPPO STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: DARROW MONTGOMERY MULTIMEDIA AND COPY EDITOR: WILL WARREN CREATIVE DIRECTOR: JULIA TERBROCK SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER: ELIZABETH TUTEN DESIGN INTERN: MADDIE GOLDSTEIN EDITORIAL INTERN: KENNEDY WHITBY CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: MICHON BOSTON, KRISTON CAPPS, CHAD CLARK, MATT COHEN, RACHEL M. COHEN, RILEY CROGHAN, JEFFRY CUDLIN, EDDIE DEAN, CUNEYT DIL, TIM EBNER, CASEY EMBERT, JONATHAN L. FISCHER, NOAH GITTELL, SRIRAM GOPAL, HAMIL R. HARRIS, LAURA IRENE, LOUIS JACOBSON, JOSHUA KAPLAN, CHRIS KELLY, AMAN KIDWAI, STEVE KIVIAT, CHRIS KLIMEK, PRIYA KONINGS, NEVIN MARTELL, KEITH MATHIAS, BRIAN MCENTEE, CANDACE Y.A. MONTAGUE, BRIAN MURPHY, NENET, TRICIA OLSZEWSKI, EVE OTTENBERG, MIKE PAARLBERG, PAT PADUA, JUSTIN PETERS, REBECCA J. RITZEL, ABID SHAH, TOM SHERWOOD, CHRISTINA STURDIVANT SANI, MATT TERL, IAN THAL, SIDNEY THOMAS, HAYWOOD TURNIPSEED JR., JOE WARMINSKY, ALONA WARTOFSKY, JUSTIN WEBER, MICHAEL J. WEST, DIANA MICHELE YAP, ALAN ZILBERMAN

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DISTRICTLINE LOOSE LIPS

Name Named

Oops! At-Large Councilmember Anita Bonds outed a whistleblower during a public hearing.

At-LArge CounCiLmember AnitA bonds recently crossed a line that even Republicans during the impeachment hearings wouldn’t breach.

During a public hearing over which she presided, Bonds outed a whistleblower who identified potential political favoritism in the selection process for housing development projects. Tens of millions of dollars from the Housing Production Trust Fund, one of the District’s primary tools for creating and preserving affordable housing, were on the line.

From the dais, Bonds said the whistleblower’s name and flashed a document identifying them in front of Department of Housing and Community Development Director Polly Donaldson, one of the officials accused of carrying out the political favors.

“What we have before us is a document that was, and I don’t know how I came about it, but because it’s to you, maybe you actually gave it to me?” Bonds asked Donaldson.

“I’m not familiar with that document,” Donaldson responded, firmly.

“You’re not?” Bonds asked.

“Oh the uh, the um, right,” Donaldson stammered.

Bonds went on to express her concern not about the alleged corruption of the public official sitting in front of her, but about the fact that an internal document had somehow been leaked.

Bonds asked Donaldson about the “rules” and the “process” that govern the release of such materials. Donaldson told Bonds that the documents are expected to stay within the agency.

Bonds’ incredible violation of an essential protection for whistleblowers, meant to ensure a government free of corruption, went unnoticed, or at least unreported, until now.

LL will admit that he missed it the first time around, but his ears perked up when D.C. Auditor Kathy Patterson referenced the incident in vague terms during an oversight hearing two weeks ago. Even then, the auditor was kind enough not to mention Bonds by name.

Darrow Montgomery/File

By Mitch Ryals

“Public officials should take care with these things,” Patterson tells LL. “Especially when whistleblowers and their role is all over the national press. It would be good counsel for everyone in local government to be mindful of as well.”

LL wAs not in the room when Bonds identified a person who exposed potentially unethical behavior despite fearing for their job, their career, and possibly their safety. A link to the video of the hearing has been scrubbed from the Council’s website, but LL found a copy, and there is some question in his mind as to whether Bonds intended to out the whistleblower.

In the video, Bonds at first appears oblivious as she blurts out the whistleblower’s name.

At one point she says Donaldson gave her the document that she held up from the dais, and later says she got it from another source.

Shortly after the hearing, the whistleblower emailed Bonds, scolding her for revealing their identity and writing that they “made this complaint in spite of my fear of serious retaliation.”

The whistleblower also took exception to Bonds’ implication during the hearing that

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the whistleblower leaked internal documents to the public.

“I had and have nothing to gain by filing an Ethics Complaint against [the Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development] or [the Department of Housing and Community Development],” the whistleblower wrote. “I filed the complaint and have availed myself to questions from appropriate public bodies who are working to bring the complaint to resolution because I believe that was and is my ethical duty. And I have done so at the expense of meaningful professional relationships and now potentially at the expense of my career and personal and familial safety.”

Bonds replied that she was unaware that the document and the person she named were part of a confidential whistleblower complaint.

“In the event I was aware or made aware of your ethics filing, the document would not have been referenced,” Bonds wrote in a letter to the whistleblower. “I am surprised and saddened by your e-mail and offer my extreme apologies.”

LL is not completely satisfied by Bonds’ explanation. Bonds scheduled the hearing in question in order to discuss two pieces of legislation, one of which directly relates to a D.C.

auditor’s report that stems from the whistleblower’s complaint. (The pertinent bill was introduced before the whistleblower filed their complaint.)

The auditor’s report confirms the whistleblower’s concerns that Donaldson deviated from recommendations of high-level staff in her agency and awarded funds to low-ranked (and in one case, the lowest-ranked) proposals.

Project rankings are based on criteria spelled out in a request for proposal. The auditor’s report notes that Donaldson’s discretionary decisions “run counter to the goal stated in the RFP,” and “moreover, the officials’ decisions go against DHCD’s goal of placing ‘much greater emphasis on 30 and 50 percent of the area median family income ... units.’”

Bonds acknowledged the May 30 auditor’s report during the hearing and that the documents she waved around willy-nilly were a part of it, shortly after blurting out the whistleblower’s name. Although Patterson writes that she used “confidential information” shared with her office to produce the report, she does not explicitly mention a whistleblower’s complaint.

Patterson says she doesn’t believe Bonds realized at the time that she was outing a whistleblower, though other D.C. government employees have, on background, suggested otherwise.

LL would be remiss if he failed to note a rather cynical observation: With affordable housing a major priority for Mayor Muriel Bowser, the whistleblower’s complaint and subsequent auditor’s reports were no doubt embarrassing for Herronor’s administration, and Bonds is a reliable ally to the mayor. Bonds did not respond to LL’s request for comment.

D.C. law gives whistleblowers the right to sue supervisors who retaliate against them, but the law may not extend to councilmembers. Either way, the question of whether Bonds was truly unaware, or whether she outed a whistleblower intentionally puts her actions on a spectrum that starts at recklessness and ends at malice. the whistLebLower first filed an explosive complaint with the Board of Ethics and Government Accountability in June 2018. In it, they alleged that former Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development Brian Kenner and Director of Real Estate Sarosh Olpadwala leaned on DHCD Director Donaldson and her deputy, Allison Ladd, to steer government funding to a project proposal from a politically connected developer. (Ladd has since left the D.C. government to serve as director of housing development in Newark, New Jersey. Kenner also left the District government for a job at Amazon.)

In an emailed statement from a DHCD spokesperson, Donaldson says her agency followed all laws in the decision-making process.

Olpadwala writes in an email that he does not direct Housing Production Trust Fund dollars, but that he works closely with Donaldson “on many projects in DHCD’s, DMPED’s and other District government portfolios.” Ladd and Kenner did not respond to LL’s messages seeking comment.

The whistleblower’s complaint describes a conversation with Donaldson and Ladd in which the whistleblower pointed out concerns with the lowest-scoring proposal from MRP Realty and Taylor Adams Associates. David Jannarone, a former DHCD and DMPED employee, is a managing partner at Taylor Adams. Jannarone didn’t respond to an email asking for comment.

The whistleblower writes in their complaint that Donaldson “appeared to lament the lack of effort put forth” in Jannarone’s proposal, when Ladd turned to her and said, “We don’t have a choice.”

Even though Jannaroe’s proposal was ranked 20 out of 20, his company received more than $100,000 annually to subsidize five units of affordable housing for very-lowincome residents.

Despite Donaldson’s questionable decision, Patterson could not find evidence in internal emails of a scheme to steer money toward Jannarone.

“This means that if there was such pressure brought to bear, it was not conducted over D.C. government email,” Patterson testified at a recent committee hearing.

The auditor’s report found that Donaldson’s departure from evaluators’ recommendations resulted in 353 fewer total units; 95 fewer units dedicated for residents who make up to 30 percent of the area’s median income; 222 fewer units dedicated for residents who make up to 50 percent of the area’s median income; and 83 fewer permanent supportive housing units for people trying to escape homelessness.

Donaldson has defended her decision, tell-

ing the auditor that the unexpected availability of 100 rent supplement vouchers “was a primary driver of my decision to modify the recommendations made by my staff.”

“No one project looks like another, and so even doing comparisons of projects, saying ‘is the senior housing project better than the homeless housing project,’ those kind of comparisons are not made,” Donaldson said at a recent housing committee hearing. “And what I go for is particularly looking at the maximum number of units because of the great need and looking to make sure we are maximizing the resources we have available.”

The whisTleblower may have submitted their complaint in June 2018, just one day after Mayor Bowser announced a $103 million investment in affordable housing, but the agency responsible for investigating it didn’t seem to care until a year later.

A second D.C. auditor’s report, published in October, lays out a timeline showing BEGA’s repeatedly failing to investigate. Despite two complaints from the whistleblower, a referral from the Office of the Inspector General, and a reminder from a Council staffer, the complaint sat unexamined. Patterson’s report also accuses the director of government ethics, Brent Wolfingbarger, of making false statements about the status of the complaint to the ethics board.

During a recent committee hearing, Wolfingbarger could not explain why BEGA failed to investigate the complaint for a year. But he did repeatedly mock the auditor’s investigation as a “so-called ‘very focused review,’” called the report inaccurate, and complained about the auditor’s investigatory tactics.

Wolfingbarger took exception to Patterson’s accusation that he lied to BEGA and denied doing so. He testified that BEGA has finally opened an investigation into the whistleblower’s complaint, and acknowledged that BEGA did, in fact, screw up, as the auditor pointed out.

At least he didn’t name the individual.

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NEXT LEVEL

Jack Hammered Unless ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans can convince two of his Council buddies to flip, D.C.’s longest serving lawmaker will be removed from its legislative body early next year.

In an unprecedented move, an ad hoc committee of 12 councilmembers (all except Evans) voted unanimously in favor of forcibly removing Evans, who outside investigators found to have repeatedly violated the Council’s ethics rules.

Tuesday’s vote is only a recommendation from the ad hoc committee to the full Council. The committee will meet once more to approve a report on Evans’ actions. Evans will then have a chance to respond during a meeting of the full Council, which needs 11

votes to kick him out. A formal expulsion vote will likely occur in mid-January, according to a statement from Council Chairman Phil Mendelson.

Evans was expected to testify at Tuesday’s hearing, where Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh, the ad hoc committee chair, promised to put him under oath. But Evans, whose private consulting contracts have caught the attention of the U.S. Attorney’s Office (federal agents raided his Georgetown home in June), announced he would not face the committee in a letter last week.

After the two-hour meeting adjourned, LL strolled past Evans’ first floor office to ask if he wanted to comment. His door was locked, and the lights were out.

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Kelyn Soong

SPORTS RUNNING

On Track

Darrow Montgomery

Julie Culley, one of only a handful of female directors of an NCAA Division I track and field and cross-country program, wants to be a positive force of change in the sport.

By Kelyn Soong One afternOOn early last month, Julie Culley sat in her car and listened as Mary Cain’s voice poured out of her phone. Cain, a former high school running prodigy, spoke for seven minutes in an opinion video published by the New York Times about the alleged emotional and physical abuse she suffered while competing for her former running coach, Alberto Salazar, at the nowdisbanded Nike Oregon Project elite running group.

Cain said that she had been body shamed

by Salazar and that he fixated on an arbitrary weight for her. (Salazar, who is currently serv-

ing a four-year ban for doping violations, denied in a statement to the Oregonian that he ever shamed Cain into an unhealthy weight.)

The young runner’s words haunted Culley, an Olympian and former professional runner. It made her reflect on her own career and experiences with toxic coaches in the past.

“My weight was used against me and I was made fun of in front of teammates and training partners and things like that,” says Culley, the director of track and field and crosscountry at Georgetown University. “Some of it was on the backend, like, ‘Now that you’ve shed all that actual weight, you look like an actual runner,’ that type of thing, but it was

6 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

meaner than that, too. There were just some things that will always stick with me, because they were hard for me to handle at that point in my life in a healthy way.”

Cain’s video has started a widespread discussion in running and caused Culley to further analyze her place in the sport. One of Cain’s calls to action was for more women to be coaches or in positions of authority. Culley is one of only a handful of female directors of an NCAA Division I running program.

She wants to be part of the change.

“I think my avenue is and has always been empowerment of young women and this is a venue for me to do that,” Culley says. “And then in doing so, the men that are in our pro-

Local residents express outrage at DPR’s imminent takeover of Ellington Field. washingtoncitypaper.com/sports gram, I just love being a female presence in their lives.”

Culley Owes her decision to become a collegiate coach to another woman—Roberta Anthes, her coach at Rutgers University who encouraged Culley to enter the field. She calls Anthes an “absolutely unbelievable role model,” and credits her for the confidence to lead an NCAA program.

Prior to working at Georgetown, Culley earned All-American honors in crosscountry at Rutgers. Shortly after, she spent three years as the head women’s track and field and assistant cross-country coach at Loyola University Maryland in Baltimore, and later coached at American University under then-head coach Matt Centrowitz, while running professionally.

In 2012, she won the women’s 5,000-meter race at the U.S. Olympic Trials and reached the finals in the event at the London Olympics that year.

According to a 2018 racial and gender report card for collegiate sports, only 180 out of 969 cross-country and track and field head coaches listed under Division I women’s teams are women. Georgetown has a combined men’s and women’s running program. Culley estimates there are about 20 female Division I track and field and crosscountry directors in the country.

“I don’t even know if coaching is like my calling or not,” Culley laughs, “but I love it. And I think I’ve learned to find balance with it. That’s been a real struggle. Because coaching just is non-stop.”

The 38-year-old Arlington resident gave birth to her first son, James, via cesarean section on Aug. 30, 2016. Two days later, she accepted her current job at Georgetown. As a young coach being promoted, Culley says she elected to report to work once she “was recovered enough.”

She did not take maternity leave. “And this has nothing to do with Georgetown,” Culley explains. “They were very supportive of whatever I wanted and whatever I needed, but in that moment when I was taking over the role, and we didn’t have a staff at that time—there were only two of us. We had to get to work.”

Culley’s second son, Paul, was born last August, a C-section birth that Culley and her husband, Pacers Running owner Chris Farley, planned for the summer so she wouldn’t have to miss the collegiate running season.

That has meant breastfeeding or pumping during road trips, in the back of a bus, portable toilet, locker room shower, or in a public bathroom stall.

Culley believes the sport’s structure in the

SPORTS United States, with a separate championship season for cross-country, indoor track, and outdoor track, is unique in that it essentially runs from August to June.

“We’re in a less intense period, you know, for six weeks [now] before it really ramps up with indoor track and then we go into a swing of six months, pretty much racing every weekend,” she says. “Our kids aren’t racing every weekend but our coaches are physically traveling every weekend. And that’s just so demanding from a physical and emotional and mental standpoint and to keep coming back at it, keep coming back at it every single year. You know, other countries look at us like we’re crazy.”

In her role as the program’s director, Culley says she oversees 70-plus student-athletes, three full-time coaches, a graduate assistant, and also directly coaches 21 women’s middle-distance and distance runners. The job can pull her away from hands-on coaching, which may not appeal to some, according to Culley.

“I’m not sure if I would want a director’s job if I had been a head coach and started my family,” she says. “I might have just been like, you know what, like, this is a really good situation for me.

But now that I’m in this role, and [raised] my family in the role, like I love this.”

Culley wants the NCAA to conduct research on how to better support track and field and cross-country coaches, and also urges the governing body to invest more in the mental health and nutrition side of collegiate athletics. That way, Culley believes, athletes can get the proper care they deserve. Culley emphasizes that coaches shouldn’t be advising athletes on nutrition when they aren’t qualified.

“I’ve never met a college coach or a professional coach that was also a nutritionist— never met one,” she says. “I became a life coach this past spring ... and one of the things we learned in life coaching is ‘stay in your lane.’ … If you don’t have the professionals in the space, then what do coaches do? They start to try to figure it out on their own. And that’s where the whole problem lies.”

male coaches throughout her career.

“It would’ve been helpful to have female coach at times to understand what was going on internally, and it would’ve been beneficial,” says Gallagher, a former pro runner, “but it’s a tough thing, I’m trying to avoid saying that male coaches can’t coach female athletes, and I’m not saying that. I was very effectively coached by male coaches, but certainly there were instances where having female coaches would’ve been beneficial.”

Gallagher, who is now the head coach for the men’s and women’s cross-country, middle-distance, and distance programs at Manhattan College, occasionally feels like she stands out while working in a male-dominated field. Whenever a woman is hired as a director, Gallagher takes a mental note. She considers Culley someone she looks up to.

Having women in influential positions in the sport can help female athletes shed the feeling that they don’t belong, Gallagher says. Both believe they can lean on each other during difficult times.

“The story of this story needs to be about more female pres ence,” Cu lley says. “And that can be presence in the lives of our athletes.

It needs to be presence on staffs across the country. It’s presence in each other’s lives as coach to coach, female to female. It’s about being a great mentor to our male coaches or great colleagues of our male coaches, so that we can continue to like, give them perspective, or teach them to be great.”

In the wake of Cain’s video, several other elite female runners came out with their own stories of being body shamed. Culley doesn’t want to specify when those experiences happened to her, but calls this a “pivotal point in history” for the sport.

Progress to her would mean fewer of these stories. She wants “a more progressive way of thinking” to replace the toxic coaching behaviors that have negatively impacted careers. “You’re not gonna make [kids] soft by talking to them,” Culley says. “You can be hard on them without being abusive to them.” She is thankful to Cain for the sport’s wake-up call.

“I think about how I want to speak to my student-athletes versus maybe how I was spoken to,” she says. “I think it just makes you realize, as we continue to evolve, culturally, that there are things that we’ve accepted for a really long period of time as being standard or normal, but maybe that’s not what we should be accepting as standard.”

CP

“I think my avenue is and has always been empowerment of young women and this is a venue for me to do that.”

The imbalance of female to male coaches in the sport can be glaring at times. Culley has encouraged some of her former runners to become coaches and has noticed that professional running groups are led mostly by men.

Kerri Gallagher, Culley’s former training partner in the D.C. area, says she only had

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How-To Holidays

Your step-by-step guide to giving the gift of love

BY CITY PAPER STAFF

8 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS BY DARROW MONTGOMERY AND MADDIE GOLDSTEIN

If you live in the D.C. area and the thought of buying gifts in the age of Amazon ignites your fearof-infinity complex (Endless boxes! Endless trucks! Endless objects that are very likely to end up in the trash! Endless relatives and holiday parties!) this is the gift guide for you.

It’s a great guide if you want the people on your list to know that you care about them enough to spend time thinking about their future joy. It’s a decent guide if you’re broke, want to support independent businesses, or want to feel connected to your community.

Read on for information on the art of giving a plant cutting and how to write a letter to a person spending the holidays in the D.C. Jail. Make a clutch out of one of those glasses cases you never used. Pick out a great used book. Or find a day this month to enjoy all your favorite local museums, stopping by every gift shop to pick out something for each person on your list.

If you love the holidays, this guide is gold, and if you hate the holidays, it might offer you a small way to find some joy this month.

—Alexa Mills

How to Make an Origami Ornament Price: Free This is a very affordable last minute gift—the only thing you’ll spend is your time! It also feels really good to build something.

1. Gather your tools.

You need a piece of paper (or two); scissors (but the folding-and-tearing method also works); ribbon or string (to turn origami into an ornament for hanging); and a steady hand. We recommend using a print issue of City Paper as your canvas—assuming you’ve already read all the articles and completed the crossword. Not only is City Paper free, but the cover art is hard to beat.

2. Go to the library.

Origami is an art form—and not one that I have mastered. Your first step is getting some help. Sure, you can turn to YouTube, but this is D.C.! So we have a better idea.

Get off the couch, take a shower, and head to the public library.

Northeast Library on 330 7th St. NE has an origami expert on site, Robert LaRose.

He can construct a paper crane within five minutes and helped me make mine. LaRose says he’s open to helping residents in need of a quick holiday gift make theirs. Just tell him City Paper sent you.

DC Public Library also has over a dozen books on origami. LaRose recommends Fabulous Modular Origami by Tomoko Fuse.

3. Create.

You have so many origami options to choose from: 3D stars, flowers, a miniature Christmas tree. Make your decision based on the whims of your recipient, and perhaps your skill level. Look for a book with pictures of each step in the process.

4. Heed the lessons I learned.

First of all, make your creases prominent.

Each time you fold your sheet, fold it the other way as well. If you are making a paper crane, then the secret is whatever you do on one side, you repeat on the other. It’s kind of like making a paper airplane, if you ever did that in school.

Finally, be patient with yourself. It took

me longer than I’d like to admit to build a standard crane.

—Amanda Michelle Gomez

How to Gift a Plant Cutting In an InstagramWorthy Vessel Price: $5–$40 So you’re on the plant parenthood bandwagon and want to spread the love like a hearty, nutrient-dense potting soil. Here’s how to share a plant cutting in a gift-worthy propagation station.

1. Choose the plant you want to propagate.

As a rule of (green) thumb, you propagate a plant by clipping a healthy portion right beneath a node (a bump on the stem) or air root (brown squiggle poking out of the stem). Don’t have a plant to propagate? Give yourself the gift of a new houseplant with the help of a local retailer where knowledgeable staff can help you pick a shareable plant. Try REWILD at 1924 8th Street NW, Suite 100, or Little Leaf at 1401 S Street NW.

inches of root coming out of the stem, and that they should change the water when it gets murky. If you’re particularly concerned about a brown-thumbed friend, tell them about Very Sad Lab, the houseplant rehabilitation and education center comme art project in Georgetown.

5. Pat yourself on the back.

You’ve literally given the gift of life.

—Elizabeth Tuten

How to Pick Out the Best Used Book for Your Favorite Reader Price: $2–$2,000 Books are always a popular gift, especially in greater D.C., a region regularly ranked among the most literate in the country. With our ever-growing number of independent bookstores, it’s easy to stop in and pick up a copy of whichever novel or memoir the Post or the Times declared the best of the year, but your choice might be a dud if the reader on your list consumes new titles voraciously.

Opting to purchase a used book ensures your loved one will get something unique.

1. Consider your reader.

Do they love long policy tomes? Are they mad for essay collections? Would they

appreciate something old or do they prefer contemporary work? It helps to go in knowing roughly what you want to buy.

2. Search.

Two of D.C.’s best used bookstores, Capitol Hill Books and Second Story Books, allow you to browse and purchase some books online, which is valuable if you’re short on time or don’t know where to get started. This kind of pre-shopping browse also prepares you with regard to price, so you won’t end up accidentally picking out a $2,000 first American edition of Prisoner of Azkaban for the Harry Potter superfan in your life.

3. Dig. Many treasures at used bookstores are only available to those who search with their own two hands, so if you can, take time to visit a physical location and touch all the books. (If you’re planning to do some booksniffing and you’re particularly sensitive to dust or mold, take an antihistamine before you go to prevent a sneeze attack.)

Diehard book nerds, like yours truly and a certain Pulitzer Prize-winning critic from the Post, head for the large stores that Friends of the Library operate in Wheaton and Rockville, where one can unearth both newish fiction and rarer classics from the past century. (Recent trips yielded award winners

by Jhumpa Lahiri and Hanya Yanagihara, as well as an early Nora Ephron essay collection and E.B. White musings from the 1950s.)

2. Pick your vessel.

This is your chance to up your gift game with a touch of home decor verve by paying a visit to Dupont Little Flea Market, open Sundays from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the corner of 19th and Q Streets NW, or to Miss Pixie’s at 1626 14th St NW. You’ll be able to find a fun, and possibly cheap, antique container. Cocktail and wine glasses, jars, and funky old vases are perfect for a propagation station. If you’re looking for an extra dash of drama, might I suggest what I like to call “The Plantom of the Opera?” Buy a set of test tubes and wrap just enough plastic wrap around the bottom inch of each tube to stick them securely in the candle holes of a vintage candelabra.

3. Put it all together.

Fill your vessel with tepid water and plop in your freshly snipped stem. If you’re traveling with this gift, wrap the stem in a wet paper towel and stick it in a plastic baggie to assemble on-site.

4. Set your gift receiver up for success.

Let them know that their new plant baby will be ready for dirt once they see a few washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 9

You: Hey good morning! What are those plants with the bright purple flowers?

$25 a week. Others, like Green Grocer, let you sign up for as little as one week’s worth.

Them: Oh, that’s okra!

4. Optional step: Volunteer.

A steady stream of produce from a cool urban farm is a unique and thoughtful gift.

A steady stream of produce that you helped grow yourself is an even better one. Many local farms are always on the lookout for volunteers to help pick fruit and till the soil. (And if all this gift-giving has left you strapped for cash, farming is way cheaper than a gym membership.) —Joshua Kaplan

You: Wow, who knew—they’re beautiful. By the way, do you all have a CSA? I’m looking for a gift for my nephew.

Them: Yeah, we do! That’s a great idea for a present; let me sign you up.

Any used bookstore will do, however. Don’t be afraid to flip through the musty pages and inhale their sweet, dusty aroma, and count on the booksellers for help if you can’t find quite what you want.

4. Personalize your purchase.

Anyone can buy themself a book, but only you can explain why you bought them this specific book. Tuck a note inside the dust jacket or inscribe a personal message on a blank page and tell your loved one what you hope they’ll get from the gift.

—Caroline Jones

How to Select a Produce Subscription From Your Friendly Neighborhood Farm Price: $50–$700+

So you’re breaking out the big guns this year: A community-supported agriculture (CSA) subscription will keep your loved one stocked with fresh, interesting produce for as long as you’re able to pay for it, and the present supports D.C.’s sustainable agriculture scene. Now you just need to find a farm.

1. Scope out your options.

Obviously, this is Google-able. But if you’re looking for a hidden gem, just keep your eyes peeled: The D.C. area is flush with scrappy little urban farms, and you might already be living down the street from one. If you ask, more often than not you’ll find that these farms offer subscriptions.

Example: Walking down V Street NW in LeDroit Park any given Saturday, you’ll pass a crew of farmers tending the plots at Common Good City Farm.

10 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

2. Do your research.

Not all CSAs are created equal. Ask the right questions, and you’ll be sure to pick the subscription that’s perfect for your friend/lover/grandchild. Are they a control freak? Washington’s Green Grocer lets them pick out what produce they get each week, avoiding any surprises.

Do they love to try new things? Cultivate the City’s CSA combines well worn staples with produce you wouldn’t find at Safeway.

They’ll learn to cook with kiwi berries, ground cherries, fresh moringa, and passion fruit leaves, to name just a few of the selections from 2019.

3. Sign ’em up.

The main decisions left are how often you want your lucky loved one to receive a fresh box of produce (Once a week? Once a month?), and how many boxes you want to pay for. Some CSAs require you to sign up for a whole season—prices start at around

How to Pick Out the Perfect Restaurant Gift Card Price: $75–$150 D.C.’s dining scene has ballooned with options, and most restaurants offer gift cards year-round. If you’re the type who prefers to give an experience instead of a physical object that may end up in storage, or worse, regifted, give your loved ones a free meal. Here’s how to thoughtfully select a restaurant they’ll love.

1. Sleuth.

Leading up to the holidays, find a way to casually ask your target if they have eaten anywhere they liked lately, or if they have recently

discovered a new cuisine. This will help give you some guidance on how adventurous they are and what they gravitate toward. Also check out their social media accounts to see what kinds of food photos they post.

2. Map it out.

Consider where they live. Don’t select a restaurant in their immediate neighborhood because chances are they’ve tried them all and have a strong opinion about each place, one way or another. Look for a restaurant that’s easily accessible, whether that means near a Metro station or a location that has ample self parking or valet.

You don’t want to be the reason your loved one circles the block.

3. Vet. If you can, try before buying. While there are professional reviews and sites like Yelp, handing over a gift card to a restaurant that has your personal stamp of approval will be more meaningful.

4. Do your homework.

Once you’ve selected a potential restaurant, call during off-peak hours and ask them some questions: Do your gift cards come with an expiration date? What’s the check average for a party of two? Do you take reservations and are they hard to come by?

5. Personalize.

Gift cards aren’t the sexiest things to open, so be sure to include a nice note that contains a fun fact about the restaurant, or a recommendation for a dish or cocktail they should try.

—Laura Hayes

parties or the classic D.C. brunch. For studious Washingtonians who have old spectacles cases lying around, each handbag can be made for around a dollar if you buy materials—or practically for free if you recycle them.

1. Get your supplies in order.

• An old glasses case: free • 60 grams of super glue: $4.99 • 300 beads with flat backs: $5.29 • 10 yards of strong fabric ribbon: $6.99 Using a simple design like the one pictured, these purchases yield at least 15 clutches. So the cost per clutch is around a dollar. It’s even cheaper if you salvage pieces from clothes and accessories.

The clutch pictured here is made entirely from recycled materials: The beads are from a blouse, the faux clasp on the top is hardware from an old purse and the velvet handle was a pajama drawstring.

How to Find the Best Museum Souvenir Price: $15–$150+ D.C. has an amazing museum scene, but their gift shops are too often overlooked.

Most have the same general categories of items—souvenirs from federal Washington, necklaces and shawls in artistic patterns, endless iterations on dinosaur-themed toys, and coffee table books—but each shop puts its own twist on the familiar. In short: Museum gift shops have something for everyone, so you can knock out your entire list at just a few places and infuse local flavor.

1. Write out your recipient list.

Deciding which people on your list will be getting a museum gift store present will guide the rest of the process. Since our museum scene contains multitudes,

2. Get creative.

Arrange the beads in a design on the front of the glasses case.

3. Pay attention to details.

Glue the beads in place, and allow ample time for the glue to dry.

4. Get out your ruler.

Cut the ribbon to approximately 16 inches.

Price: $1.15 or less

5. Put your nimble fingers to use.

Open the glasses case. If the case has cloth lining, pull it back about two millimeters on one side, opposite the hinges.

Glue the ends of the ribbon about three inches apart inside the lining. Then push the lining back in place and hold it until the glue dries. If there is no lining, glue directly to the interior near its edge.

This DIY clutch made from an old glasses case is the perfect accessory for holiday

6. Optional step: Donate your old glasses.

Georgetown Optician, Vision Source DC

How to Make a Glasses Case Clutch

Focus Eyecare Center and Washington Eye Doctors accept donations of used specs. Though their regulars usually contribute, these shops accept donations from anyone outside of their clientele.

“A lot of our customers have been shopping here for like 20 to 30 years, so they’ll end up having a really big collection and not know what to do with them,” says Georgetown Optician’s manager Juliette Voorthuis.

Lions Eyeglass Recycling Center of Northern Virginia processes contributions from opticians. The center’s president Emily Carnes says that in some instances, they gift the glasses case, but they often have to leave the cases out to save on shipping. “A lot of the groups that take missions go overseas either to Africa or South America,” Carnes explains. “So the shipping of eyeglass cases is a bit much.” To donate glasses without the case, Carnes suggests wrapping them in bubble wrap and placing them in a box.

—Jennifer Anne Mitchell

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 11

thinking through your loved ones and their interests will save you the trouble of museum-hopping. Instead, you’ll be focused and calm at each stop.

2. Head to the right institution.

For kids’ items, the National Museum of Natural History is the obvious choice—they have an entire kids’ gift shop with stuffed animals, solar-powered light-up keychains, and slap bracelets. (The Air and Space Museum is a good runner-up for things like astronaut ice cream and rocket ships, but renovations mean their selections are more limited.)

If you’re buying for nostalgic parents who are looking to recall their youth, head to the National Museum of American History or the National Museum of African American History and Culture, where beloved characters adorn an array of tchotchkes.

For your most fashionable friends, consider the museum clothing option—a shawl, scarf, wrap, or statement jewelry printed with the pattern of a piece of art. The best of these are found in galleries like The Phillips Collection, though the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden’s funky necklace selection is nothing to sniff at.

Millennials with attitude will be best served by the snarky, self-aware merch on sale at the Hirshhorn—they’ve got Kruger, Warhol, Ai, Basquiat, Haring, and plenty from the Guerrilla Girls. If that’s not quite to your intended’s taste, try the National Museum of Women in the Arts, full of shirts and notebooks emblazoned with cheeky feminist slogans.

For the true art appreciators and big readers in your life, there’s nothing better than the National Gallery of Art’s shop in the breezeway between the West and East buildings. If you’re looking for posters or artist monographs, this is the spot; they’ve also got the best book collection of the museum gift shops, which includes pop-history writing and trade paperbacks, not just coffee table books.

3. Stay specific.

Avoid items you could find in the dollar bin at a big-box store. If the person you’re shopping for would be happy with a fancy eraser or a bouncy ball that isn’t full of sparkly wild animals, then you can probably head elsewhere.

Avoid logo mugs and shirts, unless the Smithsonian Institution’s sun gets your recipient unnaturally excited. One exception to this rule are museum tote bags, which universally rule, especially for the fashionable and ecoconscious.

—Emma Sarappo

How to Make a Last-Minute Catchall Tray Price: $5–$20 You have decided that you want to make something out of wood this year. Maybe it’s because you know one of the few

but it will make everything stay in place and look nicer. Then reassemble the frame without the mat or glass.

4. Give!

When you give it, explain what it is and how you imagined they’d use it. You can drop in a subtle “I made it” and maybe, just maybe, they’ll think that includes the frame too.

—Will Warren

How to Send a Holiday Letter to Someone in D.C. Jail Price: $0.55 per stamp Connectedness is a central part of the holiday season. This time of year, the isolation of prisons and jails is particularly hard for those inside.

Conditions in D.C.’s Central Detention Facility, or D.C. Jail, are notoriously hazardous and even life-threatening. Eighty-nine percent of people there are black. Those incarcerated suffer through sweltering summers and icy winters, and deal with vermin, filth, and poor lighting. People in the jail reported earlier this year that they hadn’t been allowed outdoors for eight months.

Writing letters is a low-cost way to express to people in D.C. Jail that they are cared for and not forgotten. But you have to follow a few specific steps to make sure your letter gets through.

universal truths in this world: People who make things out of wood are always hot. Maybe you’re feeling anxious about the fact that you don’t know how to do anything with your hands that would be remotely useful in the climate apocalypse.

Maybe you just like wood.

So you Google “easy woodworking projects” and quickly learn that you and the internet have different understandings of what makes a woodworking project easy. You can’t cut a circle in wood for a birdhouse! You don’t even know what a SAWZALL is, much less own one!

So give yourself a full year to get into woodworking, and in the meantime make a catchall tray. Everybody has stuff that they carry with them, and by the end of an afternoon someone you love will have a handsome place to put their junk.

1. Pick out your frame.

You’ll be fashinoning this catchall tray from a picture frame and felt, but before you grab your scissors and glue, you need to think about your intended recipient.

12 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

How big is their phone? Do they have a massive keychain? Are they always carrying sunglasses and lip balm? How big is the space on their desk or side table where they’ll be putting your catchall? After thinking, pick out a frame that meets your recipient’s needs.

2. Measure.

“Measure twice, cut once” is something that woodworkers like to say, and now you can say it too. You’ll be removing the glass and mat that come with your picture frame and replacing them with a nice felt surface, so make sure you measure that space and cut the right size of felt, leaving a little bit of extra to fit under the frame. Pro tip: Buy more felt than you think you’ll need. Felt is very cheap and can be found at any local craft store.

3. Assemble.

Take the time to stretch the felt across the back of the frame and glue it in place. It may not be absolutely necessary to glue it down,

1. Identify a recipient.

Ever yone in D.C. Jail is given a DC Depar tment of Corrections (DCDC) identification number, and this number is needed in order to communicate with them. You can get someone’s DCDC ID number by calling the Department’s Records Office at (202) 523-7060. If you don’t know anyone in D.C. Jail, reach out to organizations like the pARTner project, Free Minds Book Club, and BYP100 DC (a group I volunteer for) to get connected to someone to write to.

2. Keep your first correspondence simple.

Use black or blue pen on regular, white 8.5 x 11 paper, placed in a standard-sized, self-seal envelope. Don’t use any craft materials, colors, tape, glue, or glitter on the materials. You can elect to include prints of art or photography, as long as there is no nudity.

3. Get the envelope right.

Envelopes should have the mailing ad d re ss, you r c om p l ete n a m e a n d return address, and a stamp. For the mailing address, D.C. Jail requests that you include the incarcerated person’s name, their DCDC ID number, and the jail’s address, which is 1901 D St. SE, Washington, D.C. 20003. For the return address, use your personal address or

connect with a local organization, like the ones listed in tip 1, to see if you can use their organizational address. If you’d like a response, make sure you also include your name and address in the body of your letter. Sometimes envelopes get discarded.

4. Get the contents right.

Put the page number, the recipient name and DCDC ID number, and the date on each page of your letter. Make sure their name and DCDC ID number is on any photograph or art prints you include. There’s no limit to the number of pages your letter can be, but you can only send up to 10 photos.

5. Plan for the future.

Your letter should communicate what the recipient can expect with regards to frequency of communication. If you receive responses to your letters, what’s your capacity for replying? Once a week? A few times a year?

Make sure you are honest and don’t give false hope. Expectations are key to a respectful, affirming experience for the recipient.

6. Prison officials will read your letter.

Don’t include risky or incriminating information, but spread some holiday love and express your solidarity with the recipient.

7. Send your letter as soon as you can!

Letters to D.C. Jail tend to get delayed during the holiday season. Still, a late letter is better than none.

8. Check your work.

If you have additional questions on how to send mail to someone in D.C. Jail, you can call the mailroom at (202) 523-7050. You can also get information on how to send books to people there, which can only be sent through a publisher or bookstore.

To get plugged in to letter writing locally, you can register for the letter writing circle with Free Minds Book Club, an organization that uses creative writing

to make sure people from D.C. in jail and federal prisons are connected to the outside. You can also reach out to the pARTner project from the Justice Arts Coalition, a group based in Silver Spring that runs a pen pal program for incarcerated artists. And the organization Survived & Punished provides an excellent “Toolkit For Organizing Letterwriting Events.”

—Jordan N. DeLoach

How to File a Freedom of Information Act Appeal Price: $0, plus a tiny portion of your soul

What’s better than the gift of information?

Especially if that information is enlightening, interesting, scandalous, or otherwise sheds light on how elected officials are behaving. Follow the steps below to file an appeal of your Freedom of Information Act request—because we assume you already know how to file the original request, and it will almost certainly be denied.

1. Prepare.

Get yourself a glass and pour two fingers of your preferred brown beverage.

2. Consider your original request and understand what the government is refusing to release.

Is it a complete denial? Are portions of your requested records redacted? You can appeal both decisions. Requesters can also file an appeal if the government is taking longer than 15 days to respond to a request.

3. Sip. 4. Write a letter to the Mayor’s Office of Legal Counsel.

The appeal can be submitted via email at foia.appeals@dc.gov, through the online FOIA portal, or by mail. In your letter, explain in plain English (no lawyer required) why you believe you are entitled to the records or why you believe the government has redacted information that should be public.

A. It can be as simple as: “I am appealing the agency’s decision to withhold the requested records. The agency said the

records are all private, but I doubt that.

It's OK with me if they take out the private details and release the rest.”

B. In our experience, one of the most common exemptions is for personal privacy. Generally, it is not enough for the government to rely on the personal privacy exemption without justifying why the records should be withheld.

The government must balance a person’s privacy with the public’s right to information about what government agencies are up to.

C. Along with your appeal, include in your email your original request and the letter of denial.

D. Write “Freedom of Information Act Appeal” in the subject line of the email or on the outside of the envelope.

5. Watch the clock.

Once you hit send, the mayor’s office has 10 business days to respond to your appeal.

6. Ask for help.

If you get stuck, call or email the folks at the DC Open Government Coalition. They are generally happy to help.

NOTE: Only requests to the executive branch can be appealed to the Mayor’s Office of Legal Counsel. The D.C. Council does not have an administrative appeals process. To appeal a Council request, unsatisfied requesters must sue the Council in D.C. Superior Court.

— Mitch Ryals

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 13

Darrow Montgomery

DCFEED

Baan Thai will serve its last bowl of tom yum noodle soup on 14th Street NW on Dec. 31. The restaurant plans to relocate in 2020 to a larger space that has a more adequate kitchen.

YOUNG & HUNGRY

Beer Money

Illustration by Julia Terbrock

Are the brewers who make your favorite local beer paid enough?

By Michael Stein Beer industry employees in D.C. earn some of the highest average wages in the nation, according to the Brewers Association’s 2018 Economic Impact report. Workers make an average of $68,469 annually, second only to beer industry workers in New Jersey. But average earnings for brewery workers in D.C. are 41 percent below the national average, according to statistics furnished by Beer Institute chief economist Michael Uhrich. By these measures, those who work inside breweries seem to make less than their peers who distribute and sell beer. A look through salary records on the company review site Glassdoor reveals that brewers in the U.S. make an average salary of $38,226.

The District’s thirst for local beer and these figures made this writer wonder if the brewery employees testing water chemistry, macerating fruit, tending to yeasts, and filling cans

have a good quality of life. More than a dozen current and retired brewers and brewery owners opened up about their wages, their work, and why they do what they do.

“If you want to stay in the industry, you need to marry well, and a lot of us have done that,” says Bill Madden, former owner of Mad Fox Brewing Company. It’s a common refrain.

Talk to enough brewers and they’ll tell you their spouses, working in professions outside of brewing, tend to be the breadwinners. This can cause tension if one or both partners have unrealistic salary expectations of the beer industry.

Madden completed the Master Brewers Certificate Program at the University of California, Davis in 1995. He entered the industry as head-brewer-in-training for Capitol City Brewing Company, earning $30,000.

“Once we had five units and I was overseeing all five breweries, I topped out with them around 50K,” Madden says. That was in 2004.

14 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Once he founded Mad Fox in 2010, he says his salary increased, but declined to say how much. Toward the end of the brewery’s run in July, Madden’s head brewer moved on, leaving him in charge of all facets of operations from brewing to distribution.

“I was working non-stop for six months,” he says. “Not taking a day off. At least 10 hours a day if not more.” While the beer industry supported Madden for 25 years, he says financial perks for brewers are hard to come by.

Hellbender Brewing Company CEO and head brewer Ben Evans puts in similar hours.

“I’m in the brewery about 90 hours a week working,” he says. “Doing everything—literally. I’m not just the head brewer, I’m working the business end, I’m doing taproom managing, I’m managing our social media. I couldn’t have a family if I wanted to right now.” But, he says, “I absolutely love the industry I’m in and what I’m doing.”

When asked about the $68,469 average salary quoted in the Brewers Association report, Evans thought it sounded surprisingly high. “I’ve been paying myself essentially a fraction of what I do my employees, essentially making sure every penny outside of what they get paid is going into operating costs or expansion,” he says. “[$68,469] sounds like a lot,” 3 Stars Brewing Company brewer Meth Gunasinghe says. Gunasinghe has spent the last three years there and says he “wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Despite his reaction to the statistics, he says he’s seen a steady increase in pay as he’s risen through the ranks from assistant brewer to brewer.

According to the Brewers Association report, the District offers higher salaries than surrounding states: Maryland is listed at $48,864 ($19,605 less than D.C.), while Virginia’s average salary was $45,367 ($23,102 less than D.C.).

“I think the Maryland and Virginia ones sound more accurate,” Evans says. “Ours would be way down if we factored mine in for the three of us [in production]. I know our guys are both over [$40K] but I don’t know what’s bringing it up to $68K … I would assume that there’s some ownership salaries in there that are skewing the numbers.”

The average wage numbers for the beer industry provided by the Brewers Association are higher than the wages of brewers, according to those interviewed for this story. Perhaps the numbers are being inflated by a combination of the inclusion of the salaries of distributors, retailers, and brewery owners.

While the beer consumer has seen a significant growth of breweries over the last decade, the labor market in brewing has seen some bloodletting in regards to earnings. Uhrich, from the Beer Institute, a national trade association for the brewing industry, importers, and industry suppliers, details a troubling trend. “Between 2008 and 2018, average earnings among brewery workers fell by an average of 8 percent per year, falling in 2018 to an average of only $45,000 per year.”

One local brewer, who requested anonymity, reported making $60,000 annually and said they believe their salary was high for brewers in the District. At their last post in a different D.C. brewery, they earned significantly less: $42,000.

Brewers have stayed in the industry despite falling salaries over the last decade. Madden, for example, felt that a big perk was being a part of the brewing community. “There’s all sorts of benefits that pop up there,” he says, ticking off a few. “Prestige, access, visiting other breweries and having the welcome mat put out for you. Let’s not even forget free beer.”

“I love brewing and I love the family aspect” says Sam Puffenbarger, a brewer at Alexandria’s Port City Brewing Company. He took an immediate $45K pay cut when he left a well paying environmental policy job for a brewing job at Atlas Brew Works. “But we do it because we love it,” he says. “If you do just a little research you know that you are not going to get rich as a brewer.”

He’s brewed at four breweries of different sizes that produce anywhere between 4,000 and 190,000 barrels of beer per year, and has seen how different companies treat their employees and how work culture differs. “Based on my small data set, it varies widely,” he says.

“As a whole, I wish the industry would improve on salaries and benefits. It is a unique job that requires a lot of shitty, manual work, but also requires a lot of understanding of the science.”

Puffenbarger says Port City “is by far the best brewery I have brewed at as far as salary and benefits.” The company matches his 401(k), offers medical, dental, vision, and life insurance, provides monthly cell phone credits, and foots the bill for trips to gatherings like the Great American Beer Festival and the Craft Brewers Conference. He also gets reimbursed for professional development events and three weeks paid time off, plus a free beer after his shift is complete, a monthly gift card to spend on beer and merchandise, and allotments twice a year for brewing boots and work clothes.

Port City is the D.C. area’s largest brewery, which explains why Puffenbarger has a meatier salary and benefits. Its founder, Bill Butcher, estimates Port City produced 16,000 barrels of beer so far this year.

According to Uhrich, many of the new breweries that have opened since 2008 remain very small.

“Smaller firms tend to pay less, and as a result, average earnings among brewery workers have fallen,” he explains. “In many industries, the larger, more established firms pay a lot more than the smallest ones, and there aren’t currently any major brewers located in D.C.” The Brewers Association defines small brewers as those who make six million barrels of beer or less annually.

The biggest brewery in D.C. history was the Christian Heurich Brewing Company. At its height, the company could produce 200,000 barrels of beer annually. Christian Heurich was a brewer prior to becoming a brewery owner. The conversation of compensation has been on brewers’ lips for centuries.

Heurich’s grandson, Gary Heurich, wrote The Christian Heurich Brewing Company, 18721956, published by the Washington Historical Society in the 1970s. Addressing labor practices at his grandfather’s brewery, Gary wrote about a salary request in the brewery at the turn of the 20th Century: “The new brewmaster was Carl Eisenmenger who held that position until 1898. One day in 1898 he approached Mr. Heurich and demanded a raise. Mr. Heurich asked him what he would have to do if he (the brewmaster) died. Mr. Eisenmenger answered that Mr. Heurich would have to get a new brewmaster. To that Mr. Heurich replied, “Consider yourself dead.”

CP

Scene and

Heard Running November, 2019 The dog is not an athlete. It sits low to the ground, with short, stubby legs. It’s healthily plump. It could be any of us after a week of turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. It’s a good dog, in short.

Today, it is out for a run. Not an enthusiastic run, but a run nonetheless.

Its human, on the other hand, is ready. Well dressed in warm, long-sleeved athletic wear, he leads the way, charging forward. He leaps from the street onto the sidewalk. The dog lags behind. “Come on, come on,” the man says encouragingly as the dog hops over the curb.

They continue like this, the man leading, the dog trotting behind, for a block. Of all the pairs out this morning—a man taking his daughter to school, a woman walking her golden retriever, a couple headed to work—this duo stands out.

They work at once in tandem and in opposition; an elaborate dance of opposing wills.

The pair arrives at a red light and comes to a stop. This development seems to please the fourlegged runner. But its rest is short-lived. The light changes and the man rushes into the intersection. “Come on, come on,” he coaxes as the dog lingers on the sidewalk for just another moment.

—Will Warren

PrEP

Will Warren writes Scene and Heard. If you know of a location worthy of being seen or heard, email him at wwarren@washingtoncitypaper.com.

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TRULY Cocktail Battle The TRULY Cocktail Battle brought together 11 local bartenders to compete for bragging rights and a coveted trip to Tales of the Cocktail in New Orleans. Hosted at Crimson Whiskey Bar the competitors included Amy Mila from Buffalo & Bergen, Andrew Lamkin from The Alex, Aysha Scott from Hank’s Dupont & Landmark’s Atlantic Plumbing, Cheston Sobande from Calico, Christopher Chapman-Shakra from Coconut Club, Frank Mills from Roy Boys, Ian Fletcher from The Fainting Goat, Katie Gentsch from Beuchert’s Saloon, Mreaed Mengesha from Doyle Bar, Paul Martinez from Chicken + Whiskey and Shelly Caviness from Crimson Whiskey Bar. In addition to TRULY hard seltzer, a variety of ingredients were used in the delicious cocktails, from coconut milk and maple-infused raisins to Chinese Five Space and Love Letters. In the end, Mila came out on top as the People’s Choice and Martinez took home the top prize as the Judges Choice Winner.

People’s Choice Winner

Judge’s Choice Winner

Amy Mila

Paul Martinez

Yours; Truly • 1.5 oz Dogfish Head Compelling Gin • 1 oz Passion Fruit Nectar • .5 oz Cinnamon Syrup • .5 oz Hibiscus Syrup • 5 oz Truly Hard Seltzer

truly, madly, deeply • .75 oz Dogfish Head Barrel Honey Rum • .25 oz Chacho Jalapeño Aguardiente • .5 oz Pineapple Juice • .25 oz Lime Juice • .5 oz Orange Juice • Bar Spoon Passion Fruit Purée • .5 oz Star Anise Simple Syrup

Garnish with lime and a love letter of your choice.

CITYPAPER WASHINGTON

Chicken + Whiskey

Rim Collins glass with Spiced Salt (Kosher salt, ancho chili, brown sugar, pepita), shake ingredients, strain over ice, and top with Truly On Tap.

16 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Photo credit Karlin Villondo Photography

Buffalo & Bergen / Last Call

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 17

EXHIBITORS ANTIQUES AND COLLECTIBLES iconsDC #52 DEC 6(F)–DEC 12(TH) www.iconsDC.com Jentz Prints #7 Nov 22(F)–Dec 23(M) Tom Rall #13/14 Nov 22(F)– Dec 5(Th)

CERAMICS Kerri Henry Pottery #25 Nov 22(F)–Dec 12(Th) www.kerrihenrypottery. com Pawley Studios Ceramics #20 Nov 22(F)-Dec 5(Th) www.pawleystudios.com Printemps Pottery #16 Dec 9(M)-Dec 20(F) www.printempspottery. com Water Woods #16 Dec 21(S)-Dec 23(M) www.waterwoods.com

CLOTHES & ACCESSORIES 3 Million #17 Nov 29(F)-Dec 1(Su) www.3million.co Aria Handmade #32 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) www.ariahandmade.com Art Inca Native #9 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) Black Bear Leather #19 Dec 18(W)-Dec 23(M) www.blackbearleather. com Cho-pi-cha #44 Nov 22(F)-Dec 5(F) Clozs #43 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.clozs.com Fuzzy Ink #8 Nov 22(F)-Nov 25(M) www.fuzzy-ink.com Handmade Especially For You #22 Dec 18(W)-Dec 23(M) www.clydelleco,com Hero Heads #19 Nov 22(F)-Dec 10(T) www.heroheads.com

SITE MAP

Indigo Moon #24 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.Indigomoonclothing. com Inka Treasure Shop #2 Nov 22(F)-Nov 25(M) www.inkatreasureshop. com Jonathan Wye, LLC #34 Nov 22(F)-Nov 25(M) www.jonwye.com Kora Designs #18 Dec 22(F)- Dec 23(M) Lil’ Fishy #38 Nov 22(F)-Nov 25(M) www.lilfishy.com Little Tibet Boutique #12 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) Mirasa Design #59 Nov 22(F)-Nov 24(Su) #29 Dec 12(Th)-Dec 19(Th) www.miradesign.com Mistura Timepieces #10 Nov 22(F)-Nov 25(M) www.mistura.com

The Downtown Holiday Market is centrally located in the heart of Downtown DC, centered at 8th and F Street, NW. It is easily accessible by foot, bike, and Metro (Gallery Pl-Chinatown).

18 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Welcome to the 15th Annual Downtown Holiday Market

JULIE KENT, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR

THE ORIGINAL WASHINGTON, D.C. HOLIDAY TRADITION

The Downtown Holiday Market brings all its seasonal cheer back for its 15th year! Whether you’re shopping for friends and/or family or making your own Wish List, the outdoor Market is your one- stop shop for unique gifts.

Here’s what you can find: • More than 150 vendors from the region and the world will showcase unique and handmade crafts, clothing, glasswork, jewelry, paintings, photographs, woodworking and so much more.

• Shoppers can support District creatives with their locallymade products at the Made in DC booth presented by the Department of Small and Local Business Development.

• New this year, find the National Building Museum’s popular gift shop at the Market.

• Live music, food and holiday festivities while you shop!

NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 29 AT THE WARNER THEATRE

In 2005, the Downtown Business Improvement District (BID) in collaboration with Diverse Markets Management (DMM) created an outdoor holiday shopping marketplace for the Downtown community. Today, Downtown is a retail and tourist destination and this market is at the heart of it all. The Market is committed to environmental sustainability and environmentally friendly initiatives, which are also important to many of the Market exhibitors, some whom offer fair-trade imports and gifts made from recycled and sustainable resources. The Market is conveniently accessible by public transportation including Metrorail, Metrobus and Capital Bikeshare.

For more information on daily performances and vendors, visit downtownholidaymarket.com. Vendors rotate daily, so we look forward to seeing you throughout this holiday season again and again!

Follow us on Twitter @DtwnHolidayMkt, #DowntownHolidayMarket, on Facebook and on Instagram.

THE HOLIDAY PERFORMANCE YOU CAN’T MISS

TICKETS ON SALE NOW Neil Albert President & CEO DowntownDC Business Improvement District

Mike Berman Executive Director Diverse Markets Management

VISIT WASHINGTONBALLET.ORG OR CALL 202.783.4000

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 19

Nutcracker & Ellington SAT, DEC 14 AT 7:00 PM SUN, DEC 15 AT 2:00 PM

Excerpts from Tchaikovsky’s and Ellington’s Nutcracker Suites, Overture to Hänsel and Gretel and more!

Stay after for a family-friendly reception ADULT $20-$85, YOUTH $5, STUDENT $10

703.548.0885

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Padhma Creation #23 Dec 2(M)-Dec 11(W) www.padhmaknits.com Pook #54 Dec 9(M)-Dec 23(M) www.pook.ca Stitch & Rivet #56 Dec 16(M)-Dec 18(W) www.shopstitchandrivet. com The Buffalo Wool Co. #39 Nov 22(F)-Dec 19(Th) www.thebuffalowoolco.com

COLLAGE Reinventing-Reality #22 Dec 6(F)-Dec 8(Su) www.reinventingreality.com

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20 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

DC Lottery #15 Dec13(F)-Dec 19(Th) www.dclottery.com Made In DC #5 Nov 22(F)-Dec 8(Su) www.thisismadeindc.com National Building Museum INFO Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) www.nbmshop.org

CRAFT Analog #23 Nov 29(F)-Dec1(Su) www.shopanalog.com Canimals #46 Nov 22(F)-Nov 29(F) www.getcanimals.com

Circuit Breaker Labs #23 Nov 22(F)-Nov 27(W) www.CircuitBreakerLabs.com Had Matter #60 Dec 5(Th)-Dec 8(Su) www.hadmatter.com Hope’s Journal #59 Dec 6(F)-Dec 15(Th) Little Shop Of Cute #15 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.littleshopofcute.com New York Puzzle Company #33 Nov 22(F)-Dec 5(Th) newyorkpuzzlecompany.com Rebound Designs #55 Dec 9(M)-Dec 23(M) www.rebound-designs.com

FIBER ART Range of Emotion #36, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) rangeofemotion.com Scarvelous #59, Dec 16(M) - Dec 19(Th) facebook.com/Scarvelous Seeing In Fabric #23, Dec 16(M) - Dec 23(M) seeinginfabric.etsy.com

FOOD & DRINK Alexa’s Empanadas #1, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) facebook.com/ alexasempanadas Captain Cookie & The Milkman #61, Nov 22(F) - Nov 27(W) #48, Dec 6 (F) - Dec 8(Su) #24, Dec 13(F) - Dec 15(Su) CaptainCookieDC.com

Migue’s Mini Donuts #47, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) facebook.com/miguesminis The Taste of Germany #62, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) thetasteofgermany.com Vigilante Coffee #48, Dec 9 (M) - Dec 23(M) vigilantecoffee.com

GIFT FOODS Chocotenango #26, Dec 6(F) - Dec 16(M) chocotenango.com Chouquette #26, Dec 17(T) - Dec 23 (M) chouquette.us J. Chocolatier #52, Dec 13(F) - Dec 23 (M) jchocolatier.com Mondepice Spices and Teas #48, #49, Nov 22(F) - Dec 5(Th) mondepice.com Pearl Fine Teas #59, Nov 25 (M) - Dec 5 (Th) pearlfineteas.com #29, Dec 9(M) - Dec 11 (W) Schokolat #15, Nov 22(F) - Nov 12 (Th) schokolat-us.com The Capital Candy Jar #64, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) thecapitalcandyjar.com

GLASS Cecil Art Glass #31, Nov 22(F) - Dec 10 (T) englerglass #43, Dec 6 (F) - Dec 19 (Th) englerglass.com

Craig Wallace returns as Scrooge!

Now Playing! Through Jan. 1

by Charles Dickens adapted by Michael Wilson directed by Michael Baron Season Sponsor:

www.fords.org Tickets start at just $34

Photo of Craig Wallace and the young cast of A Christmas Carol (2018) by Scott Suchman.

If not in fame, then in infamy

Glitzy Glass #40, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) glitzy-glass.com Homegrown Glass Art #20, Dec 6(F) - Dec 23(M) ryaneicher.etsy.com Joy of Glass #54, Nov 22(F) Nov 24(Su) joyofglass.com #14, Dec 6(F) - Dec 11(W) New World Glass #29, Nov 29(F) - Dec 8(Su) newworldglass.com

IMPORTED CRAFTS Baby Alpaca #45, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) Bijoux Blancs #22, Nov 22(F) - Dec 5(Th) Dorjebajra Tibet Shop #53, Nov 22(F) - Dec 10(T) mytibetshop.com From Egypt With Love #43, Nov 22(F) - Nov 5(Th) fromegyptwithloveepy.com GingerBandar #26, Nov 22(F) - Nov 5(Th) gingerbandar.com Harun’s African Art #25, Dec 13(F) - Dec 23(M)

IndiBlossom by Anuradha Mehra #60, Nov 22(F) - Dec 4(W) indiblossom.com Kiwi Exquisite #59, Dec 20(F) - Dec 23(M) kiwikathy.blogspot.com KVZ Designs by Vida Dulce #14, Dec 12(Th) - Dec 23(M) vidadulceimports.com Marigold Way #42, Nov 22(F) - Dec 8(Su) marigoldway.com Mundo Handmade #28, Nov 22(F) - Dec 15(Su) mundovillage.com Souvenir Arts #61, Dec 9(F) - Dec 23(M) souvenirarts.com Toro Mata #6, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) toromata.com Tunisian Touch #63, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) tunisiantouch.com Veroka Distributors #29, Nov 22(F) - Nov 27(W)

JEWELRY American Princess #51 Dec 9(F)-Dec 19(Th)

Andrea Haffner #56 Dec 19(Th)-Dec 23(M) www.andreahaffner.com ARTICLE 22 #55 Nov 22(F)-Dec 5(Th) www.article22.com August Nine Designs #19 Dec 14(S)-Dec 17(T) www.augustninedesigns. com Be You Fashions #61 Nov 29(F)-Dec 8(Su) www.beyoufashions.com Chelsea E. Bird Designs #51 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.chelseabird.com D Collections #3 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) Deco Etc. #58 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) www.decoetcjewelry.com Divine Planet Studio #17 Nov 22(F)-Nov 27(W) www.divineplanet.etsy.com Leah Staley Designs #39 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.leahstaley.com Leah Sturgis Jewelry Art #44 Dec 6(F)-Dec 23(M) www.leahsturgis.com Mann Made Designs #35 Nov 22(F)-Dec 23(M) www.mannmadedesigns. com

PETER SHAFFER’S

Amadeus NOW ON STAGE THRU DEC 22

folger.edu/theatre | 202.544.7077

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 21

C ONGR AT S 2 0 19 L OC A L FIR S T AWA RD S W INNER S

MAKER AWARD

RIPPLE EFFECT AWARD

HIGH ROAD AWARD

GREEN THUMB AWARD

BUILDER AWARD

CHAMPION AWARD

PIONEER AWARD

TRAILBLAZER HONOREE

T H A NK Y O U T O O UR V I S ION A R Y S P ON S OR

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Maruxi Jewelry #51 Nov 22(F)-Dec 8(Su) www.maruxivintage.com Moya Gallery #28 Dec 16(M)-Dec 23(M) www.moya-gallery.com Shade Metals #57 Nov 22(F)-Nov 27(W) www.shademetals.com Southwest Expressions #60 Dec 9(M)-Dec 23(M) www.nativecraftsworld. com Stio Designs #30 Nov 22(F)-Dec 5(Th) #30 Dec 16(M)-Dec 23(M) www.ancientcoindesigns. com Taber Studios #49 Dec 20(F)-Dec 23(M) www.taberstudios.com Terry Poole Design #17 Dec 13(F)-Dec 23(M) www.terrypooledesigns. com

Turtles Webb #53 Dec 11(W)-Dec 23(M) www.turtleswebb.com

PAINTING Art by Zachary Sasim #52, Nov 22(F) - Dec 5(Th) turbopolis.com #24, Dec 16(M) - Dec 19(Th) Golshah Agdasi #18, Nov 22(F) - Dec 19(Th)

Marcella Kriebel Art & Illustration #13, Dec 6(F) - Dec 23(Mo) marcellakriebel.com QuestSkinner #57, Nov 29(F) - Dec 12(Th) questskinner.com Rayhart #23, Dec 12(Th) - Dec 15(Su) worksofrayhart.com

HOMETOWN GO #46, Dec 2(M) - Dec 12(Th) hometowngo.com

The Good Vibes Station

Joel Traylor Art #57, Dec 13(F) - Dec 23(M) joeltraylor.com

Thomas Bucci

Jonathan Blum #33, Dec 6(F) - Dec 23(M) Jonathanblumportraits. com Joseph Snyder #46, Dec 13(F) - Dec 23(M) josephharrisonsnyder.com

#11, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) ewba.net #49, Dec 6(F) - Dec 19(Th) thomasbucci.com Tsolmon-Art #4, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) tsolmonart.com Washington Watercolors #24, Nov 22(F) - Dec 12(Th) marybelcher.com

M a r y l a n d Yo u t h B a l l e t

Nutcracker

The

Robert E. Parilla Performing Arts Center Montgomery College, Rockville

DEC 20-26 | BUY TICKETS!

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PHOTOGRAPHY Avner Ofer Photography #41, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) avnerofer.com Chandler Art and Images #29, Dec 19(Th) - Dec 23(M) Italy In Color #30, Dec 6(F) - Dec 15(Su) italyincolor.com Joe Shymanski #50, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) joeshymanski.com Tom Wachs Photography #16, Nov 29(F) - Dec 8(Su) tomwachs.com

PRINTMAKING Black Lab #17, Dec 2(M) - Dec 12(Th) FemalePowerProject.com Cherry Blossom Creative #5, Dec 9(M) - Dec 23(M) cherryblossomcreative. com

Katharine Watson #42, Dec 9(M) - Dec 23(M) katharinewatson.com

Pure Palette #54, Nov 29(F) - Nov 8() purepalette.etsy.com

SOAPS & CANDLES

TEXTILES

BAMI Products #27, Dec 6(F) - Dec 23(M) bamiproducts.net Coastal HoBo #56, Nov 22(F) - Nov 8(Su) coastalhobo.com Freres Branchiaux Candle Company #27, Nov 22(F) - Nov 5(Th) freresbranchiaux.com Geeda’s Hand Poured Candles #19, Dec 11(W) - Dec 13(F) candlesbygeeda.com Handmade Habitat #56, Dec 9(M) - Dec 15(Su) handmadehabitatliving. com Joyful Bath Co. #21, Nov 22(F) - Nov 23(M) joyfulbathco.com

Janice’s Table #16, Nov 22(F) - Nov 25(M) janicetable.com Naked Decor #37, Nov 22(F) - Dec 23(M) nakeddecor.com The Neighborgoods #22, Dec 9(M) - Dec 17(T) theneighborgoods.com

WOODWORKING Blue Ridge Cutting Board Company #46, Nov 30 (S) Dec 1 (Su) 31 Dec 10 (T) - Dec 23 (M) facebook.com/BlueRidge CuttingBoardCompany

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washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 23

MUSIC SCHEDULE The Market Stage presents a musical feast of more than 75 shows by some of the area’s best blues, rock, jazz, soul, country, world, and contemporary artists. And of course, it wouldn’t be a “holiday” market without some of your favorite seasonal standards. Check the daily performance schedule below, and find more information about all of the performers in the Musical Entertainment section of DowntownHolidayMarket.com

FRIDAY, NOV. 22

SATURDAY, NOV. 30

11:30 AM KICK OFF Market Opening Ceremony 12:00 PM Clear Harmonies Carolers A Cappella Holiday 2:30 PM Emma G Acoustic Soul 5:00 PM Afro Nuevo Latin Jazz

12:00 PM Dial 251 Jazz 2:30 PM Sol Roots Trio Rock, Blues, Funk 5:00 PM Kiss and Ride Blues, Jazz, Soul

SATURDAY, NOV. 23 12:00 PM DC Mudd Old School Blues 2:30 PM Split String Soup Bluegrass 5:00 PM The Fuss Ska, Reggae

SUNDAY, NOV. 24 12:00 PM Snarky Sisterz Roots, Americana 2:30 PM Fast Eddie & the Slowpokes BlueEyed Soul 5:00 PM Los Caribbeat Caribbean Dance Music

MONDAY, NOV. 25 12:00 PM Maureen Andary Classic Pop 5:00 PM Seth Kibel & Sean Lane Jazz, Klezmer, Holiday

TUESDAY, NOV. 26 12:00 PM Maureen Andary Classic Pop 5:00 PM Moose Jaw Bluegrass, Americana

WEDNESDAY, NOV. 27 12:00 PM Jim Stephanson American Songbook 5:00 PM Cooking With Gas Blues, Swing, Jazz

FRIDAY, NOV. 29 12:00 PM Flo Anito & Seth Kibel Jazzy Holiday, Classics 2:30 PM Music Pilgrim Trio World Music 5:00 PM The Sweater Set Folk Pop

SUNDAY, DEC. 1 12:00 PM Hokum Jazz Vintage Blues, Jazz 2:30 PM Djangolaya Gypsy Jazz 5:00 PM The Gayle Harrod Band Blues, Soul, Motown

MONDAY, DEC. 2 12:00 PM All New Genetically Altered Jug Band Jug Band 5:00 PM Runakuna Andean Traditions

TUESDAY, DEC. 3 12:00 PM Jim Stephanson American Songbook 5:00 PM Bill Baker Band Original Roots, Americana

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 4 12:00 PM Matt Kelly & Ian Walters Eclectic Roots 5:00 PM Painted Trillium Celtic, Folk

THURSDAY, DEC. 5

Backroads Band Honky Tonk 5:00 PM Stacy Brooks Band Blues, Jazz

SUNDAY, DEC. 8 12:00 PM Ian Walters & Friends Blues, Roots 2:30 PM Capital Hearings A Cappella 5:00 PM 49 Cent Dress Classic Rock

12:00 PM David Ziegele Acoustic Guitar 5:00 PM Kentucky Avenue Modern Americana

MONDAY, DEC. 9

FRIDAY, DEC. 6

TUESDAY, DEC. 10

12:00 PM Emma G Acoustic Soul 2:30 PM Burke Ingraffia Jazz, Folk 5:00 PM Nina Casey Trio Swing, American Songbook

SATURDAY, DEC. 7 12:00 PM Howard University Vocal Jazz Studies Jazz 2:30 PM Karen Collins &

24 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

12:00 PM Patty Reese Acoustic Roots 5:00 PM Elsa Riveros Spanish Rock

12:00 PM Billy Coulter Duo Acoustic Rock, Americana 5:00 PM Bill Baker Band Original Roots, Americana

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 11 12:00 PM Junior Cline Duo R&B, Soul 5:00 PM The 19th Street Band Folk Rock, Americana

THURSDAY, DEC. 12

MONDAY, DEC. 16

12:00 PM Jonny Grave Slide Blues 5:00 PM Conor & the Wild Hunt Americana, Folk Rock

12:00 PM Patty Reese Acoustic Roots 5:00 PM GrooveQuest Classic Rock, R&B

FRIDAY, DEC. 13

12:00 PM Tritone Jazz Trio Jazz 5:00 PM Janine Wilson & Arch Alcantara Roots, Americana

12:00 PM Carly Harvey Duo Blues, Jazz 2:30 PM Matt Kelly Swing & Ragtime Guitar 5:00 PM Dave Chappell Band Roots of Blues

SATURDAY, DEC. 14 12:00 PM Alpha Dog Acoustic Blues Acoustic Blues 2:30 PM Ruthie & the Wranglers Rockin’ Americana 5:00 PM Stacy Brooks Band Blues, Jazz

SUNDAY, DEC. 15 12:00 PM Blue Panamuse Blues, Swing 2:30 PM King Street Bluegrass Bluegrass, Country 5:00 PM The Lovejoy Group Jazz, Holiday

TUESDAY, DEC. 17

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 18 12:00 PM Flo Anito Jazzy Pop 5:00 PM DC Highlife Stars African Highlife

THURSDAY, DEC. 19 12:00 PM Smokin’ Lounge Pop, Rock, Jazz 2:30 PM Jonny Grave Slide Blues 5:00 PM Clear Harmonies Carolers A Cappella Holiday

FRIDAY, DEC. 20 12:00 PM Jim Stephanson American Songbook 2:30 PM Project Natale Jazz

5:00 PM Cooking With Gas Blues, Swing, Jazz

SATURDAY, DEC. 21 12:00 PM Big Lunch Americana 1:00PM Jersey Boys National Theater / Broadway 2:30 PM Christylez Bacon Progressive Hip Hop 5:00 PM GrooveQuest Classic Rock, R&B

SUNDAY, DEC. 22 12:00 PM Miss Tess & the Talkbacks Americana, Blues 2:30 PM Lilt Irish, Step Dancers 5:00 PM Kiss and Ride Blues, Jazz, Soul

MONDAY, DEC. 23 12:00 PM Jelly Roll Mortals Eclectic Roots 2:30 PM Dave Chappell Band Roots of Blues 5:00 PM Ian Walters & Friends Blues, Roots

We Have IRÉ Live on stage! Cuban jazz, Latinx hip-hop, timba beats, Yoruba songs & dance, video, and spoken word.

this weekend only!

Dec 6 - 7, 8 pm

$10 OFF per ticket Use code IRE online

Bilingual with English surtitles

a play by

NOW PLAYING

J.M. BARRIE adapted by

LAUREN GUNDERSON

TICKETS START AT $35

directed by

ALAN PAUL

Stories of the Spanish-speaking Caribbean migration of blackness in music and dance.

202-234-7174

3333 14th St, NW WDC 20010

galatheatre.org

Do You Drink Alcohol Daily or Almost Daily?

NIAAA invites volunteers, 21 - 60 years of age, who drink daily or almost daily, to participate in a study to examine the effects of a study drug on brain receptors and alcohol consumption among heavy drinkers. Research participation includes 4-5 outpatient visits which consist of alcohol consumption, blood draws, and filling out questionnaires. Volunteers should be healthy and drug-free, and not seeking treatment for alcohol-related problems. Compensation up to $1000 may be provided.

For more information, call 301-827-0905 or visit clinicaltrials.gov. Refer to 16-AA-0037.

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12.26 A Tribute to Phyllis Hyman starring

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12.19

An Intimate Evening of Music and Conversation w/ Raye Zaragoza

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washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 25

Kevin Condon

CPARTS

D.C.-born bassist and singer Mattie Safer opens up about his new band ahead of their Comet Ping Pong gig. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts

Object Permanence

Two contemporary art shows explore the resonance of work revolving around found objects.

By Kriston Capps Plunk a dollar into Tabor Robak’s “Garbage Day” and you might win a prize that nobody wants. The installation is a fully functioning, customized claw machine filled with trash. Rewards include a crushed AriZona iced tea can, empty carryout bags, a red Solo cup, and other garbage. I wailed after I nearly snatched a used Ziploc baggie but lost it in the final stretch. I was aiming for the Marlboro menthols box.

With his sardonic arcade game, Robak is an heir to Marcel Duchamp, the savvy artist who first conceived the found object when he signed “R. Mutt” to a porcelain urinal and dubbed it “Fountain” in 1917. Robak’s arcade cabinet even conceptually resembles “Boîte-en-valise,” a project for which Duchamp made suitcases filled with tiny miniatures of his original artworks. A century later, Robak is confronting viewers with similarly cheeky questions: Is art a game? Do you care about this junk?

“Garbage Day” is part of Focus Group, a show on view at von ammon co. that explores the darker corners of Duchamp’s legacy. More than a dozen artists contributed works that carry forward the conceptual and sculptural strategies for visualizing consumerism as a realm of its own. Today, Duchamp looms so large over contemporary art that a show tracing his influence could mean anything. Focus Group, as the title proclaims, is sharper: A palpable dread suffuses the exhibition, a sense of danger that is peculiar to the 21st century.

For example, Tom Holmes’ “untitled Seating Arrangement” features a neat arrangement of seven folding chairs, plated in chrome and arranged to face due south. Lined up against a wall, the rows of chairs resemble stormtroopers hindered from proceeding toward their ominous true purpose. Emily Schubert’s “Ladyfingers (Red)” comprises casts of the artist’s finger in red urethane foam, individually wrapped in plastic and hanging like novelties you might expect to find near the cash register at a bodega. The issues in Focus Group—the glossy corporate board on the warpath, the colonized body parts up for sale— feel specific to this moment in history.

Jade Kuriki Olivo, an artist who practices as Puppies Puppies, makes work that addresses

Focus Group at von ammon co. her experience with gender transition as well as with a brain tumor. For “Cheetos Bag-O-Bones White Cheddar Cheese Flavored Snacks, 8 oz (Emptied bag),” she (or an executor) simply distributes the contents of a single-serving snack bag onto the gallery floor in a circular pattern.

The work is both cheap and ceremonial: bitesized, nutritionally void skulls and bones that are used to fulfill a personal ritual. Puppies Puppies finds the gallows humor in fraught universal questions about mortality and corporality, but her work also points to individual risks and harms. A Halloween prop on display takes on a vulnerable aspect thanks to its title, which the artist borrows from a description on the product’s packaging: “Rest (Mummified life-size skeleton with realistic face and super strong, super flexible, and super realistic skin. Skin is embedded with tear-resistant mesh. Great for situations such as haunts, escape rooms, and

26 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

stunts, where stress and rough handling are expected).”

Many of the works on view were made with store-bought stuff that can be purchased at any CVS, including “After ferdinand, the gay bull who never felt like doing anything” by Borna Sammak. The painter makes work using commercial materials, in this case by embroidering fragments of beach towels onto canvas.

“Springvalley_w_strippers,” a Petra Cortright landscape made in Flash, features found animations of dancing women culled from porn sites. Here they look silly, but in their native environment, these disposable ads often conceal sophisticated tools for espionage, fraud, and data collection. One finding from Focus Group is take nothing for granted ever.

A trio of Alex Bag self portraits—some of the best works on view—feature objects that look like they must be satirical. For her project,

which appears in the gallery’s bathroom, Bag pairs pictures of herself and her child in the tub with Zest soap products that go by the names of Brrrrr!, Mmm!, and Tssss! Tender yet subversive, her photo installations could almost be product placements, if the products weren’t so goofy.

Focus Group isn’t a Duchamp show per se, although the timing would be right for it, as the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden recently opened the first in a two-part exhibition spanning the entire arc of the artist’s career. The idea of the readymade has evolved in dizzying and terrifying ways since Duchamp elevated the bourgeois to the bespoke. Artists are still tackling it with a sense of sensationalism. On the back of “Garbage Day,” Robak adds an almost-convincing certificate of verified offset emissions for the carbon produced by his garbage-art. As a gesture of faux sincer-

CPARTS ity, it’s a searing indictment of the state we’re in—and it’s even funnier if it’s sincere.

The thesis in Focus Group is tight enough to serve as its own curatorial category. Cameron Rowland’s readymade “Attica Series Desk,” a piece of furniture produced by incarcerated workers in the Attica Correctional Facility in New York, belongs among this sinister selection of dark objects, for example. The show stands in contrast to another brainy sculpture review up in D.C.: Exodus, a broader and looser arrangement of post-consumer and foundobject works. While the shows overlap in places, they diverge in more ways than would seem possible for a pair of Duchamp tributes.

Exodus, a visiting group exhibition from New York’s Bortolami Gallery, transforms a vacant storefront in the Watergate complex into a statement show on found-object artworks. The display—the seventh in a series of shows that pairs an artist-curator with a city, in this case Paul Pfeiffer and D.C.—features works by the likes of Whitney Biennial mainstays Lutz Bacher, Arthur Jafa, and Eric N. Mack. Works by Cady Noland, a sculptor known best for deconstructing American domestic dystopia in the 1980s and ’90s, and Josh Kline, a sculptor who tackles similar themes in the corporate tech sphere today, can be found in both Exodus and Focus Group.

Only one artist in the show, Danh Vo, addresses the venue’s formidable Watergate billing, and his work is the highlight. Back in 2012, the artist bought personal effects from the estate of Robert McNamara, the U.S. secretary of defense from 1961 to 1968, a period of escalation for the Vietnam War. Vo, whose family fled post-war Vietnam, has redeployed McNamara’s archives in stunning artworks, including “Lot 19. Test Ban Treaty Signing Pen, 5 August 1963.” This work comprises the nib of a pen, suspended like a sacred relic in a cutout space embedded in the building’s wall. Years back, Vo’s work attracted the attention of Craig McNamara, the secretary’s only son, who invited the artist to use the mature wood of walnut trees from the family orchard. Vo’s “Walnut Lumber,” alongside the paterfamilias’ pen, gives two views of resonant objects shaped by history (and an artist’s vision).

The pop-up exhibition space, which was most recently a PNC Bank branch, is large enough to swallow even the sizable sculptures on view. An exception comes in Wu Tsang’s “The Shape of a Right Statement,” which finds an intimate tableau inside the bank’s former vault. The piece features Tsang, a filmmaker and MacArthur Fellowship winner, reading part of a text by Amanda Baggs, an advocate

The Second City is back with a fresh, fierce, and fabulous SHE-quel

“The Shape of a Right Statement” by Wu Tsang, 2008 for neuroatypicality. Baggs communicates through a speech synthesizer; by reciting, or really, reperforming “In My Language,” Tsang is both expressing solidarity with the autism activist and activating her manifesto through performance. Tsang recorded the video piece in the Silver Platter, a landmark Los Angeles trans bar and the subject of the artist’s documentary, Wildness. Installing this video in a vault makes it precious.

There’s humor in Exodus—Sondra Perry’s “Historic Jamestowne: Share in the Discovery and Take Several Seats,” a couch stained with

a Jheri curl activator product, is an elaborate play on a scene from Coming to America. Studies in found objects can come across as cold or cerebral, but Duchamp always meant for viewers to howl.

CP Focus Group At von ammon co. to Jan. 11, 2020. 3330 Cady’s Alley NW. Free.

Exodus At the Watergate Office Building to Jan. 25, 2020. 2600 Virginia Ave. NW. Free.

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washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 27

GALLERIESSKETCHES

ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN What is Feminist Art?

At the Archives of American Art Gallery to Nov. 29, 2020 At the end of the 1970s, second wave American feminists were asking what their movement—which in under two decades had gained enough traction in postwar America to reshape the roles of women in American society forever—could become in the future. There were signs that they were losing ground: In 1977, the Equal Rights Amendment stalled three states shy of full ratification. That November would see both the National Women’s Conference and its vocal, Phyllis Schlafly-led opposition. Soon, bruising arguments over the ethics of pornography would unsettle feminist consensus and signal an end to the second wave. Around the same time, nearly 200 working artists replied to an invitation that read, “If you consider yourself a feminist, would you respond by using one 8 1/2 x 11 inch page to share your ideas about what feminist art is or could be.” Ruth Iskin, Lucy Lippard, and Arlene Raven, who solicited the responses, organized their small survey of feminism in the art world into a 1977 exhibition at the Los Angeles Woman’s Building. Today, those papers belong to the Smithsonian’s Archives of American Art, which has curated them for the new exhibition What is Feminist Art? The exhibition is animated by new responses that the Archives solicited from both original participants and a new, diverse array of artists examining gender and power in 2019. What is Feminist Art? places artists’ 1977 and 2019 answers side by side and features single submissions from the ’70s and the present day—in total, nearly 75 historic and contemporary responses are displayed together. The exhibition offers no commentary other than introductory wall text, the thoughts of artists’ 1970s peers, and the reactions from our contemporaries.

“Response to ‘What is Feminist Art?’” by Siri Berg, 2019

“Response to ‘What is Feminist Art?’” by Laura Kina, 2019 The absence of gallery text beyond an overview is a necessity in such a small space, but it has an egalitarian effect. Each woman has the same room—the surface of one 8 1/2 x 11 inch piece of paper—to articulate themselves. And many do articulate; a majority of the works in the exhibition use prose, though some of the most intriguing replies use solely visual language.

Friction has always been the most generative mode of feminist philosophy, and in both the historic submissions and the contemporary ones, the most productive answers to the “what is feminist art” question challenge its premise entirely. “I want my work to be viewed and experienced by you for what it is and not what I am,” Siri Berg wrote in her 1970s submission, and her mind hasn’t changed in her contemporary response. “Why should we even have to have such a thing as ‘feminist art’? We are all people,” she writes in 2019. “I just want to see myself in this world and exist without having to worry if I’m a man or a woman.”

But the exhibition, in trying to uncover what feminist art is, answers Berg’s question of why do we need it over and over again. In her 2019 submission, Martha Rosler writes that “feminist art does not have to be ‘about’ women— yet it is hard to imagine that, no matter what its appearance or subject, feminist art does not

28 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

reflect a woman’s subject position, her point of view.” Berg argues that there is a universal humanity that transcends identity divisions like race, gender, and class, but she wrongly assumes that feminists disagree with that premise. Instead, feminist art exists because of women’s subordinate treatment for millennia despite their universal humanity. In Rosler’s terms, her artistic point of view is not the same as a man’s because of this difference.

But what that answer misses, and what mainstream 1970s white feminism missed, is that “woman” is not a universal identity. The most disappointing failure of the 1977 exhibition was its overwhelming whiteness and the presumption that any coherent definition of feminist art could be sourced almost entirely from straight, white American women already entrenched in their artistic practices. In 2019, the curators attempt to address this failure by intentionally soliciting work from women of color, and their answers expand the exhibition’s answers and its possibilities for interpretation. Amber McCrary invokes the specter of colonialism; Laura Kina depicts the artist Aram Han Sifuentes, known for her protest banners, at work on a banner that says “SHUT THE FUCK UP;” Tina Takemoto titles her piece “Queer Feminist of Color Art;” E. Jane says “as a Black genderqueer femme, I

think I make Womanist art,” Womanist being a term Alice Walker coined in 1979 after the initial exhibition.

The most impressive piece, LJ Roberts’ submission, is made more impactful by its unremarked-upon inclusion—no caveats, no excuses, no explanations. “Artist fees/honorariums were NOT offered to artists and cultural producers asked to participate in the project,” it says in white text on black paper. “Also of note is that the Archives of American Art is requesting that all ‘documents’ received for the project, ‘What is Feminist Art,’ be donated to the permanent collection.” Roberts goes on to detail how their position as a non-binary queer person in New York City makes producing art for free always a net loss for their art practice. Their marginalization makes juggling life, work, resources, and political commitments more complex than it is for those in positions of privilege, they write.

According to Roberts, the act of submitting this document “is feminist art.” It’s not a testament to the curators’ bravery that Roberts’ condemnation is included. If anything, it’s a reminder that the only feminist imperative is to question power. Self-congratulation is not on the agenda.

—Emma Sarappo 8th Street and F Street NW. Free. aaa.si.edu.

LIZ AT LARGE

“Now” by Liz Montague Liz Montague is a D.C.-based cartoonist and cat mom. You can find her work in The New Yorker and City Paper. washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 29

FILMSHORT SUBJECTS

LEARNING TO FLY The Aeronauts

Directed by Tom Harper

December 17–January 19 Opera House Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600

Theater at the Kennedy Center is made possible by

Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

Major support for Musical Theater at the Kennedy Center is provided by

30 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

Kennedy Center Theater Season Sponsor

If you see The Aeronauts, you’ll be hardpressed to come up with an explanation for how it came to be. It’s the fictionalized story of budding meteorologist James Glaisher (Eddie Redmayne) and tragic pilot Amelia Wren (Felicity Jones) taking one momentous hot air balloon flight. They are willing to risk their lives to break the human altitude record, and in several thrilling set pieces, they do just that. The best one comes right at the start, as they navigate a thunderstorm on their initial ascent.

Glaisher and Wren get hurled out of the basket, and survive only by grabbing the rope with the tips of their fingers. Director Tom Harper stages these sequences deftly, using seamless CGI in the wide shots and capturing the forced intimacy of the basket in extreme close-ups.

The stale backstory of this flight grounds The Aeronauts. We learn that Wren was still reeling from the death of her husband, which occurred on a previous flight, when she meets the idealistic young Glaisher, an outcast from the Royal Scientific Society who needs external funding for his flight. We see them meet at a dance, and of course, there is a spark of romantic interest. The film, surprisingly, has little interest in fanning that spark, and while resisting the urge to turn their professional relationship into something more could be con-

sidered admirable, frankly, the film could have used the fire. The flashback scenes are as stiff as their Victorian garb.

A sharper screenplay would have used the flashbacks to provide characterization, instead of perfunctory plot. Wren is defined solely by her trauma (we know she’s grieving because her sister complains that she is sleeping late and forgetting to change her clothes), while Glaisher is given virtually no backstory at all besides his fiery passion for helping mankind through weather prediction. It’s hardly enough to bring the character to life, and Redmayne, who relies too heavily on his inventory of beatific smiles, does little to aid the cause. As a result, the flashbacks add nothing of value and only make the audience more desperate to get back in the air.

When the film indulges in those instincts, it’s thrilling. We have never seen hot air ballooning depicted like this. Glaisher and Wren battle rain, ice, and, of course, wind, and the grandeur of the skies highlights their human frailty. The action sequences are each minor masterpieces, blending both shrewd cinematography and astounding visual effects to create images that feel entirely new to film. It’s a shining example of how technological advances should be used in mainstream movies but rarely are. Instead of imitating what has been done before, The Aeronauts looks to the sky and imagines what could be done next.

—Noah Gittell The Aeronauts opens Friday at Avalon Theatre and the Smithsonian’s Lockheed Martin IMAX Theater and Airbus IMAX Theater.

Lincoln Theatre • 1215 U Street, NW Washington, D.C. JUST ANNOUNCED! SECOND SHOW ADDED!

AEG PRESENTS

TIM AND ERIC

Late Show! 8:30pm Doors ..................... SAT FEBRUARY 8

Watch What Crappens

........................................ SAT MAY 2

On Sale Friday, December 6 at 10am

THIS FRIDAY!

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS

Robert Earl Keen -

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Countdown to Christmas

Pigeons Playing Ping Pong w/ lespecial Must purchase 2-Day Pass with 12/7 PPPP @ The Anthem to attend. ............................ F DEC 6

Devendra Banhart

w/ Black Belt Eagle Scout Early Show! 6pm Doors ................................................. Sa 7

DECEMBER

JANUARY (cont.)

Omar Apollo

w/ Alexander 23 & Silver Sphere Early Show! 6pm Doors .....................F 13

Cautious Clay w/ Remi Wolf

Late Show! 10pm Doors ......................F 13

Samantha Fish

w/ Nicholas David .......................Tu 17

Daughters and HEALTH

w/ Show Me The Body .................W 18

Turnover & Men I Trust

w/ Renata Zeiguer ......................Th 19

Hot in Herre Holiday Spectacular: 2000s Dance Party with DJs Will Eastman and Ozker • Visuals by Kylos ........................F 20

& FINAL NIGHT ADDED! FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECOND

Thievery Corporation

w/ The Archives ..........................Su 22

GWAR

w/ Unearth & Savage Master .......F 27

The Pietasters

w/ The Fuss • Oison • Creachies .Sa 28

Clutch w/ The Steel Woods

& Damon Johnson .......................Su 29

JANUARY

No Scrubs: ‘90s Dance Party

with DJs Will Eastman & Ozker • Visuals by Kylos ..........................F 3

w/ Shinyribs........................................DEC 6

STORY DISTRICT’S Top Shelf ................................... JAN 25

Jonathan Richman & Bonnie “Prince” Billy ........ MAR 7 Whindersson Nunes .......... MAR 16

Welcome to Night Vale .......APR 2 Julius Dein ................................ FEB 23 Walk Off The Earth ................APR 5 thelincolndc.com • impconcerts.com •

U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

BENT:

Ringing in the Raging ‘20s .......Sa 4

Yola w/ Amythyst Kiah.................F 10 BASS NATION PRESENTS

Svdden Death w/ Phiso .........Sa 11 Hiss Golden Messenger w/ Lilly Hiatt ................................W 15

American Authors and MAGIC GIANT w/ Public ........Th 16 STEEZ PROMO PRESENTS

Sullivan King w/ Eliminate.....F 17 Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven

Early Show! 6pm Doors ....................Sa 18

The Budos Band

w/ Paul and The Tall Trees Late Show! 10pm Doors....................Sa 18

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL

Thurston Moore Group Palace .................................M FEB 3 w/ Devin Brahja Waldman.......... Sa DEC 7 Poppy ........................................Sa 8 9:30 CLUB & ALL GOOD PRESENT Anna of the North w/ Dizzy Fae....Th 13 Jojo Mayer / NERVE ................W 11 9:30 CLUB & ALL GOOD PRESENT The Slackers w/ Mephiskapheles...Th 19 Moon Hooch ...........................Sa 22 Sango w/ Anik Khan & Savon............W 26 Temples w/ Art d’Ecco All 11/8 9:30 Club tickets honored. . M JAN 20 VÉRITÉ ......................................F 28 Great Good Fine OK 070Shake w/ Aaron Taos ...............................F 31 All 10/10 tickets honored. ..........Sa MAR 7 • 930.com/u-hall • impconcerts.com • Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office. •

Ripe w/ The New Respects ........Th 23 The Glorious Sons w/ Des Rocs ..................................F 24

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Twiddle ...................................Sa 25

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Cory Wong w/ Scott Mulvahill .Su 26 Atmosphere w/ The Lioness • Nikki Jean • DJ Keezy..................M 27

Roddy Rich ..............................Tu 28

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE! 930.com impconcerts.com

9:30 CUPCAKES

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

TICKETS for all shows are available at IMPconcerts.com, and at the 9:30 Club, Lincoln Theatre, The Anthem, and Merriweather Post Pavilion box offices. Check venue websites for box office hours.

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES impconcerts.com AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on

9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 Club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

930.com washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 31

32 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

CITYLIST

VIENNA

TENG W/ EMMA HERN

Music 33 Theater 34 Film 36

DEC 8

SUNDAY

CITY LIGHTS: FRIDAY

AN INTIMATE PERFORMANCE BENEFITING BONAPARTE’S RETREAT

EMMYLOU HARRIS TRIBUTE TO JOHN STARLING

with special guests

JON RANDALL, RICKIE SIMPKINS & JAY STARLING

SUNDAY DEC

15

SAT, DEC 21

WILD CHILD STRIPPED DOWN (DUO) W/ CAMERON NEAL

THU, DEC 26

AN EVENING WITH BEN

WILLIAMS: 8TH ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BASH

FRI, DEC 27

AN EVENING WITH

LIVE AT THE FILLMORE:

THE DEFINITIVE TRIBUTE TO THE ORIGINAL ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND SAT, DEC 28

YELLOW DUBMARINE

W/ THE SCOTCH BONNETS SUN, DEC 29

START MAKING SENSE: A TALKING HEADS TRIBUTE W/ RUBY DEAR

TUE, DEC 31

CELEBRATE NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

Music FRIDAY COUNTRY

LINCOLN THEATRE 1215 U St. NW. (202) 888-0050.

Robert Earl Keen. 8 p.m. $35–$55. thelincolndc.com.

ELECTRONIC

UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487.

Black Masala + Eastern Standard Time. 7:30 p.m. $12– $15. unionstage.com.

FUNK & R&B

9:30 CLUB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Pigeons Playing Ping Pong. 8 p.m. $65. 930.com.

POP

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Blood Cultures. 8 p.m. $12–$15. songbyrddc.com.

ROCK

THE ANTHEM 901 Wharf St. SW. (202) 888-0020.

Dark Star Orchestra. 7:30 p.m. $40–$60. theanthemdc.com.

THE LEGENDARY WAILERS

GEORGETOWN GLOW

FEAT. JULIAN “JUNIOR” MARVIN

Now that Thanksgiving is over and bellies are full, it’s time to drag out the holiday lights. The oldest neighborhood in D.C. is doing just that with the sixth edition of Georgetown GLOW. Sponsored by the local business improvement district, GLOW outshines typical lawn décor with 11 carefully curated light installations. For a month, you’ll find a cloud swing, an illuminated poem, and suspended snow cones placed throughout Georgetown. These installations go beyond the usual holiday messages, offering both reimaginings of winter cheer and visual challenges to life as we know it—one installation questions our relationship to smartphones and laptops. Want to learn more about the mix of international and local artists? You can also register to experience Georgetown GLOW through a walking or food tour. Experiences through DC by Foot, Washington Walks, and Carpe DC Food Tours are among those recommended. The installations are on view to Jan. 5 in various locations in central Georgetown, Wisconsin Avenue and M Street NW. Free.

(202) 298-9222. georgetownglowdc.com.

—Sarah Smith

W/ JAH WORKS FRI, JAN 3

AN EVENING WITH

BOAT HOUSE ROW YACHT ROCK EXPERIENCE SAT, JAN 4

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

SCYTHIAN

SAT, JAN 11

TAB BENOIT TUE, JAN 14

MAGIC CITY HIPPIES

W/ ARGONAUT & WASP FRI, JAN 17

SATURDAY CLASSICAL

KENNEDY CENTER CONCERT HALL 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Celebrating Slatkin at 75 / Kern plays Rachmaninoff. 8 p.m. $15–$99. kennedy-center.org.

SIXTH & I HISTORIC SYNAGOGUE 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Damien Sneed. 8 p.m. $35. sixthandi.org.

VANESSA COLLIER

COUNTRY UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487. The

W/ JOSE RAMIREZ

Wil Gravatt Band. 10 p.m. Free. unionstage.com.

ELECTRONIC U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Tourist. 10:30 p.m. $12–$22. ustreetmusichall.com.

Tickets At TheHamiltonLive.com

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 33

FUNK & R&B

THE ANTHEM 901 Wharf St. SW. (202) 888-0020.

Pigeons Playing Ping Pong. 7:30 p.m. $35–$55. theanthemdc.com.

HIP-HOP

1811 14 ST NW TH

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

DECEMBER 2019 FRI 6 MORTIFIED LIVE PODCAST SAT 7

TUE 10 WED 11 THU 12 FRI 13

GUIDED

BY VOICES

STORY DISTRICT

TWIN PEAKS SHREDDERS 2019 YULE BALL

HARRY & THE POTTERS’

SAT 14 FYM PRESENTS

80S MAYHEM DANCE PARTY

SUN 15

REVEREND HORTON HEAT

VOODOO GLOW SKULLS THE 5.6.7.8S DAVE ALVIN

SAT 20 BELLS BREWERY PRESENTS:

ROCK

9:30 CLUB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Devendra Banhart. 6 p.m. $36. 930.com.

BLACK CAT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Guided

by Voices. 8 p.m. $35. blackcatdc.com.

DC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Current Swell.

8:30 p.m. $12–$15. dcnine.com.

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Thurston Moore Group. 7 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

VOCAL

NATIONAL CITY CHRISTIAN CHURCH 5 Thomas Circle NW. (202) 232-0323. Children’s Chorus of Washington: Carols and Candlelight. 5 p.m. $10–$50. nationalcitycc.org.

SUNDAY 9:30 CLUB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. The Marcus King Band. 8 p.m. $25. 930.com.

ROCK

SIXTH & I HISTORIC SYNAGOGUE 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Chadwick Stokes & The Pintos with Mihali.

8 p.m. $25–$30. sixthandi.org.

UNION STAGE 740 Water St. SW. (877) 987-6487.

Thank You Scientist. 7:30 p.m. $20–$35. unionstage.com.

VOCAL

MONDAY

ROCK’N’SHOP BUILDING A SOUND MOVEMENT

RUMPUS ROOM

A FAMILY DANCE PARTY

NYE BALL

2019

JAZZ

MUSIC CENTER AT STRATHMORE 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. Dave Koz & Friends Christmas Tour 2019. 8 p.m. $54–$199. strathmore.org.

TUESDAY POP

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Jump Little Children. 7:30 p.m. $28–$38. citywinery.com.

WEDNESDAY

PEACHES O’DELL

ELECTRONIC

W/ TONY ANTHONY & HIS MALVIVANTS (21+)

HOLIDAY

& HER 9-PIECE ORCHESTRA

LUCY DACUS

Raised in Mechanicsville, Virginia, rising star Lucy Dacus became involved with the Richmond music scene in high school and recorded her 2016 debut album No Burden as a friend’s college project.

With almost immediate critical praise and nearly 20 record labels clamoring to sign her, Dacus was hailed as one of the most exciting new voices in indie rock for her guitar-based melodies and steadfast lyrics. Now, at just 24 years old, she has already written three solo records and formed the supergroup boygenius with fellow musicians and friends Julien Baker and Phoebe Bridgers. Dacus’ most recent release, 2019, frames the year from New Year’s Day to Christmas with songs for seven national holidays. Across her catalog of music, Dacus’ voice weaves seamlessly between a cathartic belt, like in breakup ballad “Night Shift,” to a soft lilt, as in her cover of “La Vie en Rose.” Singer-songwriter Haley Heynderickx opens the show with raw folk originals. Lucy Dacus performs at 10 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. $25. (202) 265-0930. 930.com.

—Mercedes Hesselroth

BLUES

A ROCK’N’ROLL GARAGE SALE

PUNK THE CAPITAL

TUE 31

KENNEDY CENTER TERRACE THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NPR’s A Jazz Piano Christmas. 7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $55–$65. kennedy-center.org.

LOTION PRINCESS & BORN DAD

SAT 28 FILM SCREENING

SUN 29

JAZZ

NATIONAL CITY CHRISTIAN CHURCH 5 Thomas Circle NW. (202) 232-0323. Children’s Chorus of Washington: Jingle All the Way. 5 p.m. $10–$50. nationalcitycc.org.

LIGHTMARE

SAT 21

SONGBYRD MUSIC HOUSE AND RECORD CAFE 2477 18th St. NW. (202) 450-2917. Oliver Francis. 8 p.m. $17– $60. songbyrddc.com.

CITY LIGHTS: SATURDAY

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Jojo Mayer / NERVE. 6:30 p.m. $20. ustreetmusichall.com.

THE ANTHEM 901 Wharf St. SW. (202) 888-0020.

National Symphony Orchestra: Ugly Sweater Holiday Concert. 8 p.m. $15–$35. theanthemdc.com.

POP

CITY LIGHTS: SUNDAY

BOB DYLAN

Over more than 50 years, Bob Dylan has done it all: folk, rock, contemporary gospel, and even tunes reminiscent of Frank Sinatra. In total, he’s produced 38 studio albums and played over 3,000 shows in his Never Ending Tour alone. It’s safe to say the singer-songwriter has had an amazing influence on American music as we know it, selling over 100 million records and winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. And now, wrapping up another year of international performances, he’ll command The Anthem’s stage Dec. 8 to close out his fall 2019 leg before heading to Japan. Despite his massive legacy, some critics have dinged his concerts for being unpredictable and his renditions of fan favorites for straying too far from the originals. That means it’s hard to say exactly what concert attendees should expect, but recent sets have included the tunes “Make You Feel My Love,” “Simple Twist of Fate” and “Highway 61 Revisited.” Bob Dylan performs at 8 p.m. at The Anthem, 901 Wharf St. SW. $65-$165. (202) 888-0020. theanthemdc.com.

—Sarah Smith

JAZZ

intrigue going on between the title character and his foe and rival Salieri. Folger Elizabethan Theatre. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To Dec. 22 $27–$85. (202) 544-7077. folger.edu.

WORLD

A CHORUS LINE Signature stages one of the most classic American musicals, A Chorus Line—the story of hopeful dancers in an audition room hoping for a spot in the chorus line. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Jan. 5 $40–$110. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

SIXTH & I HISTORIC SYNAGOGUE 600 I St. NW. (202) 408-3100. Rachael & Vilray with Akie Bermiss. 8 p.m. $25–$30. sixthandi.org.

CITY WINERY 1350 Okie St. NE. (202) 250-2531. Los Lobos. 8 p.m. $60–$75. citywinery.com.

BLACK CAT 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Twin Peaks. 7:30 p.m. $20–$22. blackcatdc.com.

VOCAL

TAKE METRO!

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT EVENTBRITE.COM

KENNEDY CENTER TERRACE THEATER 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Michelle Bradley. 7:30 p.m. $55. kennedy-center.org.

Theater

A CHRISTMAS CAROL In this classic Dickens tale, a miser learns the true meaning of Christmas—with some help from some ghostly apparitions. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Jan. 1 $32–$124. (202) 3474833. fords.org.

THURSDAY

AIRNESS Nina thinks winning an air guitar competition will be easy—until the lovable nerds she’s competing against prove her wrong. 1st Stage. 1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To Dec. 29 $15–$42. (703) 854-1856. 1ststagetysons.org.

COME FROM AWAY This new musical tells the story of 7,000 stranded sea passengers and a small Newfoundland town that took them in. Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 5 $49– $149. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

U STREET MUSIC HALL 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Zimmer. 7 p.m. $10–$20. ustreetmusichall.com.

AMADEUS This play dramatizes Mozart’s ascent from child prodigy to favored composer—and the palace

DEAR JACK, DEAR LOUISE Two strangers meet by letter during World War II and hope to meet in person,

ELECTRONIC

34 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

!

CITY LIGHTS: MONDAY

3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

I TAKE YOUR HAND IN MINE

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com

Dec 6&7 feat. JONAS

"Winter JUDY COLLINS Stories"

F JELD and Special Guests CHATHAM COUNTY LINE

LIVE MUSIC | BOURBON | BURGERS

OHIO PLAYERS 14 SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY

FR 20 A FUNKY CHRISTMAS MIRACLE: HOLIDAY FUNK & SOUL NIGHT FUNKY MIRACLE SA 21 LITZ FR 27 AN EVENING WITH BROTHER JOSCEPHUS

CITY LIGHTS: TUESDAY

CHER

You know her from just about everywhere, but the living pop icon is going at it again for her “Here We Go Again,” tour, bringing disco, super trouper spotlights, and armor-clad gladiators to center stage at Capital One Arena. Fresh off her 2018 role in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, Cher’s latest tour promotes her 2018 ABBA-tribute album Dancing Queen.

Fittingly, the show is set to feature both the classic ’70s and ’80s hits that made the Swedish pop group a cult classic before picking up mainstream adoration, as well as bits from her more recent sets, including 2013’s Closer to the Truth, an LP packed with dance and club anthems. Expect costumes, glitter, vibrato, and a lot of lights—from both Cher and her audience: If previous shows are any indication, Cher look-a-likes will be sure to pepper the crowd. So put on your dancing shoes, freshen up your wigs, and practice your vocal warm-ups, because the best way to enjoy Cher is to join in her soaring renditions of “Fernando,” “Waterloo,” and “SOS.” Cher performs at 7:30 p.m. at Capital One Arena, 601 F St. NW. $47.95– $829. (202) 628-3200. capitalonearena.viewlift.com.

—Christian Paz

SA 28 ROCKIN’ ROOTS KITI GARTNER & BAND w/ JASON HOSS HICKS TU 31 OH HE DEAD’S FANCY NYE CELEBRATION w/ COLOR PALETTE

SU 5

AN EVENING WITH DREW GIBSON

& The Asbury Jukes

15

A Honky Tonk Holiday!

BILL KIRCHEN & TOO MUCH FUN and JUNIOR BROWN 18 A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Filthier & Merrier "It'll Stuff Your Turkey"

CARBON LEAF 21 A Very MAYSA Christmas

19

feat. Her Jazz Funk Soul Orchestra with CHRIS "BIG DOG" DAVIS

JANUARY 2020 BIG LIKE BEAR ROCK CREEK KINGS KAILEEN MARIE

JOYOUS CHRISTMAS

13

TH 19 BLUES NIGHT BOBBY THOMPSOM TRIO

FR 3

NORMAN BROWN'S

w/BOBBY CALDWELL & MARION MEADOWS

DECMEBER

Taffety Punk is best known for reimagining major classics on a much smaller scale, most famously the Riot Grrrls Shakespeare productions, featuring women in every role. Artistic director Marcus Kyd is always on the lookout for canonical stories that will work well in a small space, plus appeal to the top D.C. actors who proudly call themselves Taffety Punkers. This December, Kyd looked to Canada to find a reimagined classical voice: I Take Your Hand in Mine is inspired by six years of love letters exchanged between playwright Anton Chekhov and actress Olga Knipper.

The production comes to D.C. direct from Ontario, where former D.C. thespian Richard Sheridan Willis now runs the St. Lawrence Shakespeare Festival. Carol Rocamora’s two-person play travels south right after a run at Toronto’s Tarragon Theatre, and while it’s not exactly holiday fare, the play promises more romantic angst than a Hallmark movie. ’ Tis the season to give the small screen a break, and try a small-scale drama. The show runs to Dec. 13 at the Capitol Hill Arts Workshop, 545 7th St. SE. $15. (202) 415-4838. taffetypunk.com.

—Rebecca J. Ritzel

12

LUTHER RE-LIVES

22 Holiday Show feat. William ‘Smooth’ Wardlaw

NRBQ Taylor 27 CHARLES ESTEN Noele 28 PIECES OF A DREAM 26

29

23rd Annual

31

New Year's Eve with

Hank Williams Tribute Show

FR 10 THE WALKAWAYS NO SECOND TROY SA 11 TWEED + MOODY GOOSE SA 18 NAH. + DOMINY + MILO IN THE DOLDRUMS + THE DUSKWALES SU 19 36TH SAW MASC AWARDS SHOW AND CONCERT TH 23 SWEETHEARTS OF AMERICANA KAREN JONAS, LAUREN CALVE MINK’S MIRACLE MEDICINE

THE SELDOM SCENE Old Town Flood & Circa Blue

8pm

LAST TRAIN HOME 4 SCHOONER FARE BUSKIN & BATTEAU 5 Charles Ross' Jan 3

FEBRUARY 2020 FR 14 LEE FIELDS & THE EXPRESSIONS

AVERY*SUNSHINE 10 &11 RICKY SKAGGS & Kentucky Thunder 9

TH 20 BILLY GILMAN

MARCH 2020 FR 20 MYXOMA PRESENTS RADIOHEAD TRIBUTE: FROM THE BASEMENT

pearlstreetwarehouse.com

FOLLOW US @PEARLSTREETLIVE 33 PEARL ST SW DC •THE WHARF

CHRISETTE MICHELE 16 BIG BAD VOODOO DADDY 12

17,18,19

An Evening with

21&22

An Evening with

EDDIE FROM OHIO RICHARD THOMPSON (Solo)

washingtoncitypaper.com december 6, 2019 35

CITY LIGHTS: WEDNESDAY

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

WOMEN PHOTOJOURNALISTS OF WASHINGTON

FANTASTIC FUNGI

The psychedelic and the scientific entwine in Fantastic Fungi, the new documentary from Louie Schwartzberg. Schwartzberg, a filmmaker known for his macro-cinematography techniques and time lapse sequences, is also noted for his preoccupation with the interconnections in earth’s biosphere. Having already deployed his signature style on more outwardly aesthetic organisms (butterflies, for instance, in his Wings of Life documentary) the director’s latest confronts a new subject: kingdom fungi. In Fantastic Fungi, Academy Award winner Brie Larson joins the ranks of fellow Schwartzberg-doc-narrators Meryl Streep and Forest Whitaker to introduce a series of ways fungi can “save the planet.” According to the doc, fungi share traits with plants, animals, and the internet, and according to the Wall Street Journal, the movie’s time lapse photography “could pass for studies of exotic flowers growing on another planet.” It promises to be a fascinating experience for both those who love learning more about the processes that sustain our biosphere, and for those who just think movies go better with mushrooms. The film screens at 7 p.m. at the AFI Silver Theater and Cultural Center, 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. $8–$13. (301) 495-6700. afi.com/silver.

—Will Lennon ney Harman Hall. 610 F St. NW. To Jan. 12 $35–$120.

(202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org.

It’s not really a fair fight, but the videos—not the stills—stand out in the Women Photojournalists of Washington’s 13th annual juried show. The finest of the exhibit’s still photographs are those that capture charged moments: Deveney Williams’ joyous interaction between an old woman and a young model on a Portuguese street, for instance, or Erica T. Baker’s image of refugee kids energetically piling on each other on a soccer field. The mini-documentary videos, however, are consistently gripping, including Nasreen Alkhateeb’s look at multigenerational Palestinian olive harvesting, Reshma Kirpalani’s charming exploration of the grackle, an annoying yet somehow beloved bird species in Austin, Texas, and Whitney Shefte’s brutally candid portrait of Sam Rogers and Renee Howell, two longtime addicts in D.C. who live in fear of overdosing on fentanyl. The show runs to Dec. 15 at IA&A at Hillyer, 9 Hillyer Court NW. Free. (202) 338-0325. athillyer.org.

—Louis Jacobson FORD’S THEATRE: A CHRISTMAS CAROL Join the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future as they lead the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge on a journey of transformation and redemption. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Jan. 1 $36-$109. (202) 3474833. fords.org.

HARD TIMES Charles Dickens’ tale of the circus, set in Industrial Revolution England, features four actors playing dozens of characters. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To Dec. 8 $25–$50. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org.

AN IRISH CAROL An Irish Carol follows the story of a wealthy pub owner who is preoccupied with his material goods and must be reminded of his humanity through the holiday spirit. Keegan Theatre. 1742

Church St. NW. To Dec. 31 $40–$50. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com.

LOVE, FACTUALLY The Second City’s fast-paced retelling of Love, Actually is an original take on the movie—back by popular demand. Kennedy Center Theater Lab. 2700 F St. NW. To Dec. 29 $29–$59. 202467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

NEWSIES Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst are no match for the striking newsboys of New York City in the sultry summer of 1899. Arena Stage.

1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 22 $86–$105. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

PETER PAN Lauren Gunderson’s adaption of J.M. Barrie’s story of a boy who refuses to grow up puts Wendy—a budding scientist—at the center of the play. Sid-

SHE THE PEOPLE: THE RESISTANCE CONTINUES! The Second City returns with a follow-up to their allfemale revue She the People that continues to satirize being a woman in America—and in the world.

Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Jan. 5 $20–$70. (202) 393-3939. woollymammoth.net.

SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN This classic American musical—featuring songs like “Good Mornin’” and “Make ‘em Laugh”—follows Hollywood’s transition from the silent era to the talkies. Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To Jan. 5 $37–$69.

(301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org.

THE SNOW QUEEN Synetic presents a family-friendly version of the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, where a little girl crosses the Snow Kingdom to save her best friend. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St. , Arlington. To Dec. 29 $60–$195. (866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org.

WHITE PEARL This comedy about whiteness and the beauty industry follows the fallout of a skin whitening cream ad’s leak—and someone’s definitely getting fired. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Dec. 15 $20– $80. (202) 332-3300. studiotheatre.org.

Film

21 BRIDGES An NYPD detective hunts for a pair of people who killed a fellow cop—and unravels a massive conspiracy in the process. Starring Chadwick Boseman, J.K. Simmons, and Taylor Kitsch. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

THE AERONAUTS A pilot and a scientist seek new discoveries—but end up fighting for survival. Starring Felicity Jones, Eddie Redmayne, and Himesh Patel.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) DARK WATERS An attorney sues a powerful chemical company for its lengthy history of pollution. Starring Mark Ruffalo, Anne Hathaway, and Tim Robbins. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) FROZEN 2 Anna, Elsa, and Kristoff leave Arendelle to try and find the source of Elsa’s powers—and hopefully save the kingdom. Starring Kristen Bell, Jason Ritter, and Evan Rachel Wood. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) KNIVES OUT The head of a bickering, eccentric family dies, and a detective is sent to investigate. Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette, and Chris Evans. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) PLAYMOBIL: THE MOVIE The Playmobil toys come to life in an epic adventure. Starring Jim Gaffigan, Daniel Radcliffe, and Kenan Thompson. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) QUEEN & SLIM A police officer pulls over a couple on a first date—and what happens next bonds them and sends them on the run. Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Indya Moore, and Chloe Sevigny. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) WAVES A black family navigates love, forgiveness, and togetherness in the aftermath of loss. Starring Taylor Russell, Kelvin Harrison Jr., and Alexa Demie.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

HEY 2030, SEE YOU AT COLLEGE. dccollegesavings.com

36 december 6, 2019 washingtoncitypaper.com

SAVAGELOVE M DOOGALS THE FAMOUS

C

My ex-girlfriend, who I dated for nine months, called me two months after we broke up and accused me of giving her HPV. She was going on, telling me how I needed to tell any future person I had sex with that I have HPV. I’m a 38-year-old man and I’ve never had any signs or symptoms of any sexually transmitted infections. I know HPV is very common, often clears up on its own, and cannot be tested for in men.

What are your thoughts? Do I need to tell sexual partners that I have HPV? —Help Person Vacillating Most people are infected with HPV—human papillomavirus—at some point in their lifetime, most never develop symptoms, and in most cases the infection goes away on its own. There’s an effective and safe vaccine that protects people from HPV strains that can cause cervical, anal, dick, or throat cancer, and everyone, regardless of age, should get vaccinated. And since people can develop symptoms years after their initial exposure, there’s no way for your ex-girlfriend to know that you infected her. Or that she didn’t infect you. Every sexually active adult should assume they’ve been exposed to HPV, that they have it or have had it, and conduct themselves accordingly.

—Dan Savage I’m a gay man, and there’s a guy I see on the bus who I find attractive in the extreme.

I can’t keep myself from looking at him. Now here comes the but: He smokes. I’ve been toying with an idea to convince him to quit. I want to slip a note into his pocket or backpack with the following proposal: “Let’s make a deal.

You give up cigarettes, and in return I’ll give you a blowjob once a week for a year. I’m concerned about your health. Please consider.”

Other people who ride the bus also smoke, but I’m not inclined to make them the same offer.

But it makes me sad knowing this guy smokes, and I want to get him to stop. If this idea is crazy, please say so—it will help me move on.

—Before Undertaking Sincere Tobacco Eradication Deal While your motives are no doubt pure— there’s nothing in this plan for you, BUSTED, just the quiet satisfaction of putting a beautiful stranger on the path to better health—you don’t know if this guy is attracted to you. But he’s likely to react badly to your proposal even if he is. Because while you and I both know you’re being entirely selfless—you’re the Florence Nightingale of anonymous/no-recip blowjobs—this extremely attractive stranger is going to assume you’re a delusional creep with boundary issues, because slipping a note like that

into someone’s backpack or pocket, which would require you to technically and legally assault him, is precisely the kind of thing delusional creeps with boundary issues do.

And because delusional creeps with boundary issues do this sort of thing, BUSTED, good and decent guys like you can’t do it without being misunderstood. So absent some sign of interest from this attractive stranger, like him staring back at you, you’re going to do what any normal, non-delusional, non-creepy gay guy would do after seeing an attractive stranger on the bus: leave him alone while surreptitiously checking to see if he’s on any of the gay hookup apps. —DS My wife is über-vanilla. She is willing to spank me and peg me, but she won’t “take charge” of the situation. She’s doing it to please me and expects me to signal approval throughout the process. As soon as a spanking gets to the

“...Leave him alone while surreptitiously checking to see if he’s on any of the gay hookup apps.” point that I’m flinching and wanting it to stop, she stops. We’ve never gotten more than a few strokes into the pegging for the same reason. I don’t really crave pain per se, but I want and need her to be in charge.

—Seeking Pointers About Needed Kinks One of the top reasons people choose safe words, SPANK, is so that they can scream, “Oh, God! Stop, please! I beg you! It’s too much!” and the person who’s spanking or pegging them knows that since they didn’t hear “collusion” or “giuliani” or “zelensky,” the spanking or pegging can continue. Not using the safe word is how a sub signals their approval throughout the spanking/pegging/ whatevering process—or, at the very least, how a sub signals their willingness to endure the spanking/pegging/whatevering to please the top.

—DS My long-term partner and I are in a soft Dom/ sub relationship. Neither of us has been sexually or physically abused. I suffer mainly from depression and a little anxiety. Lately when the sex is great, I end up having a panic attack. If I have an intense orgasm and then he goes to town with penetration, there will be a point where I physically shove him off and then my body shakes

and my breathing starts getting really fast and I start crying, and basically I’m having a panic attack. I feel terrible for my partner, because it’s not really his fault. But somehow the physical overstimulation gives my body the “OK” to have a panic attack. It’s happened a few times, and my partner is now hesitant to have sex. I want to be able to stop these panic attacks mainly for him. However, when I do have the panic attacks, I want to just cry and let everything out.

But of course my amazing partner just wants to comfort me and get it to stop. Please help.

—Problems Around Nookie-Induced Crisis Panic attacks during sex are something you might want to explore with a therapist or counselor, PANIC. If you’re already seeing someone about your depression and anxiety, please bring these attacks up with your provider. If you aren’t seeing someone, please start seeing someone. As for your partner’s hesitation to have intercourse, well, that’s understandable. But there’s an easy enough work-around: If an intense orgasm followed by go-to-town-style penetration triggers your panic attacks, then either don’t do penetrative sex after you’ve had an intense orgasm or wait until after your partner goes to town to have your orgasm. —DS I’ve been in situations where I’m with my better half, rocking her world, giving her an orgasm, coming inside her, and she loves it. The next week, same scenario, she’s moaning and groaning, I explode, and she says to me, “Did you come?” And I’m there thinking, “I thought I was pleasuring her like last time, and she suddenly can’t tell when I exploded inside her?!”

—What The Actual Fuck Sometimes the person getting fucked (PGF) is paying close attention to the person doing the fucking (PDTF). The PGF is really taking the PDTF in, the PGF can see how close the PDTF is getting, the PGF knows just when the PDTF has arrived. But sometimes the PGF’s eyes roll back in their head and they float the fuck away, WTAF, because the fucking feels that damn good. The PGF moans, the PGF groans, but the PGF is so lost in the physical and emotional sensations— they’re getting so deeply into the dicking— that it’s not until after the PDTF stops fucking them that the PGF even realizes the PDTF is done fucking them. So it’s not a bad sign that your better half sometimes has to ask if you came, WTAF, it’s a good sign.

—DS Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

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The name and adAuctions dress of the court is (El nombre y dirección de la corte es): San Bernardino Superior Court 247 W. 3 rd , San Bernardino, CA 92415 The name, address, and telephone number of plaintiff’s attorney, or plaintiff without an attorney, is (El Commissary nombre, la Whole Foods Auction y el número de dirección DC Metro Area teléfono del abogado del Dec. 5 at 10:30AM demandante, o del 1000s S/S Tables, Carts demandante que no & Trays, 2016 Kettles up tiene abogado, es): to 200 Gallons, Urschel SIMONEAUX LAW FIRM, Cutters & Shredders in111 Congress Ste. cluding 2016 Ave., Diversacut 400, 2110Austin, Dicer, 6Texas Chill/Freeze 78701 Cabs, Double Rack Ovens & Ranges, (12)August Braising Date (Fecha): 6,Tables, 2018 2016 (3+) Stephan VCMs, 30+ Scales, Clerk by: Jerry WittenHobart 80 qt Mixers, born, Deptuy Complete Machine Shop, and much more! View the SUPERIOR COURT catalog at OF THE DISTRICT OF www.mdavisgroup.com or COLUMBIA 412-521-5751 PROBATE DIVISION 2019 ADM 001205 Garage/Yard/ Name of Decedent, TheRummage/Estate Sales resa Martin Roberson.

NoticeMarket of Appointment, Flea every Fri-Sat Notice to Creditors andRd. 10am-4pm.

5615 Landover Notice to Unknown Cheverly, MD. 20784. Can buy Heirs, Naomi in bulk. Amaya Contact 202-355-2068 Roberson, whose ad- or if or 301-772-3341 for details intrestedisin 6211 being a 7th vendor. dress St NW, Washington, DC 20011 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Theresa Martin Roberson who died on September 29, 2019, with a Will and will serve without Court Supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., 515 5th Street, N.W., Building A, 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 6/5/2020. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a

copy to the Register of Wills or to Miscellaneous the Register of Wills with a copy to NEWundersigned, COOPERATIVE SHOP! the on or before 6/5/2020, or be FROM EGPYT THINGS forever barred. Persons AND BEYOND believed to be heirs or 240-725-6025 legatees of the decedent www.thingsfromegypt.com who do not receive a thingsfromegypt@yahoo.com copy of this notice by mail within 25 BAZAAR days of SOUTH AFRICAN Craftpublication Cooperative shall so its 202-341-0209 inform the Register of www.southafricanbazaarcraftcoo Wills, including name, perative.com address and relationsouthafricanba z a ar @hotmail. ship. Date of first com publication: 12/5/2019 Name of Newspaper WEST FARM WOODWORKS and/or periodical: Custom Creative Furniture Washington 202-316-3372 City Paper/ info@westfarmwoodworks.com Daily Washington Law www.westfarmwoodworks.com Reporter.

Name of Personal Representative: 7002 Carroll Avenue Amaya Naomi Roberson Takoma Park, MD 20912 TRUE TEST copy Nicole Mon-Sat 11am-7pm, Stevens Acting Register Sun 10am-6pm of Wills Pub Dates: December 5, 12, 19.

Motorcycles/Scooters William WTU250X Crocker 2016 Suzuki for sale.

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Place, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20010, is the Bands/DJs for Hire personal representative of the estate of William W. Crocker who died April 15, 2002 without a will and will serve without court supervision. All unknown heirs and whose whereabouts are unknown. Claims against the decedent Get Wit Productions: to Professhall beItpresented sionalundersigned sound and lighting availthe on or able for club, corporate, private, before 12/26/2019 or wedding receptions, holiday forever be barred. Perevents and much more. Insured, sons believed to be competitive rates. Call (866)heirs 531to who for a http://www.washingtonci6612the Extdecedent 1, leave message do not receive typaper.com/ ten-minute call back,aorcopy book onof notice by mail linethis at: agetwititproductions.com within 25 days of its publication shall so Announcements inform the Register of Wills, including -name, Announcements Hey, all you lovers of erotic and bizarre address, and relationromantic fi ction!

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Rosemary Tate Events Personal Representative TRUE TEST COPY Christmas in SilverActing Spring Nicole Stevens Saturday, RegisterDecember of Wills2, 2017 Veteran’s Plaza 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m.

Come celebrate Christmas in the heart of Silver Spring at our One Bedroom ApartVendor Village on Veteran’s Plament Columbia za. Thereinwill be shopping, arts Heights the with and crafts forhas kids,allpictures Santa, music needed and entertainment amenities to spread and more. for fine holiday urbancheer living.

Proceeds fromrenovated the market ,will Beautifully provide a “wish” toy for children hardwood floors, interin need. Join us at your one stop com system, $1,500.00 shop for everything Christmas. + ForUtilities. more information, contact Call 202-362-9441 Ext. Futsum, 16 or 202-362-8078. or info@leadersinstitutemd.org call 301-655-9679 NW DC Nice 1BR + General den Apt, HWF, French doors, bay windows, ceil Lookinggarbage to Rent yard space for fans, disposal, hunting dogs.near Alexandria/Arlingbk porch, trans. ton, VA area only. Medium sized 202-308-4341. dogs will be well-maintained in temperature controled dog housHyattsville Room for es. I have advanced animal care Rent: Quiet Neighborexperience and dogs will be rid hood, Close Metro, free of feces, flies,tourine and oder.

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