Washington City Paper (December 16, 2016)

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politics: JAck evAns’ cozy ties to digi mediA 7 food: eco-friendly growth for profish 26 arts: A comic’s Album homecoming 31

PayneandSuffering after nearly a decade fighting city hall, whistleblower eric Payne has won a major civil suit. But while it’s vindication, it’s hardly victory. P. 14

By Bill Myers PhotograPhs By Darrow MontgoMery

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2 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

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INSIDE

14 payne and suffering After nearly a decade fighting city hall, whistleblower Eric Payne won a major civil suit. But while it’s vindication, it’s hardly victory.

By Bill Myers

Photos by Darrow Montgomery

4 Chatter DistriCt Line

7 Ad Hawk: Councilmember Jack Evans’ cozy ties to Digi Media help explain why he’s carrying their water.

8 The Ward Three Scrooges: In the land of the overprivileged, some neighbors remain uneasy about a planned homeless shelter.

10 The Space Be-Tween: Thirteen-year-olds rethink Freedom Plaza 11 Gear Prudence 12 Savage Love

32 Galleries: Capps on Bill Viola: The Moving Portrait at the National Portrait Gallery 33 Short Subjects: Olszewski on La La Land 34 Discography: West on Leigh Pilzer’s Strunkin’

City List 35 City Lights: Catch hip-hop crew the Washington Slizzards at U Street Music Hall Sunday.

35 Music 39 Theater 41 Film

13 Buy D.C.: $15 & under

42 CLassiFieDs

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27 Economy of Scales: ProFish readies for its next phase of sustainable business in Ivy City.

28 Petworthy: Seven restaurants opened in Petworth in 2016.

28 ’Wiching Hour: Katsu Sandwich at Izakaya Seki 28 Brew In Town: The Public Option Winter Special

arts 31 Story of His Life: Jeff Simmermon left D.C. almost a decade ago to be a storyteller, but to record his first comedy album, he’s coming home. Sort of.

43 Crossword

“Rescuing these lawbreakers, it raises questions about what ... inducements could be made for councilmembers or the mayor.” —Page 7

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CHATTER

People Who Read People

In which readers aren’t pissed off

Darrow MontgoMery

The very naTure of our work as scrappy truth tellers is such that we are often in the line of fire from politicians, restaurants, developers, and the like. But every now and then we publish an issue that doesn’t get anyone’s back up, yet is still compelling reading for informed locals interested in celebrating our city and the people who make it fascinating. Such was the case with our fourth annual People Issue (Dec. 9).

“It feels great to be recognized by the place that you do it for!” local celeb and rapper Lightshow, who graced last week’s cover, wrote on Instagram. “#ThePeopleIssue OUT NOW! Go get one before I steal them all to show to my mother!” Or as author Matthew FitzSimmons tweeted, “A nice reminder that DC is much more than the elected potpourri inflicted on us by the states.” Along with Darrow Montgomery’s unforgettable portrait of punk drag queen Donna Slash, Andrea Swalec tweeted, “Who ever said D.C. was boring? Loving the @wcp People Issue.” Others were more poetic. “Some of these personal stories brought me close to tears and also left me feeling hopeful about the future,” wrote BBC producer Bill McKenna.

Meanwhile, if there was any doubt about Nats sideline reporter Dan Kolko’s deep and abiding hold on fans, doubt is no more. “Woooooot!

Love having you as part of the Nats family @masnKolko! This was a fun read,” Jen Underwood tweeted. And from Tracy Tran: “So, do we officially call @masnKolko The Most Interesting Man in D.C.?” Quoting Kolko, Angie Wanner tweeted, “‘You definitely want to feel like you have a bond with the fan base.’ You definitely have that! Great to see you in this list!”

Finally, there was a virtual outpouring of support for our announcement that Jeffrey Anderson will be joining City Paper as our new Loose Lips reporter beginning Jan. 3. Among the many comments one came from Pixnmopix: “Great choice. Jeffrey Anderson is a gutsy and smart journalist. ... All papers need this kind of writer. A reason to pick up a City Paper!”

—Liz Garrigan

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EDITORIAL

eDiTor: liz garrigan MAnAGinG eDiTor: alexa Mills ArTS eDiTor: Matt Cohen FooD eDiTor: laura hayes ciTy LiGhTS eDiTor: Caroline jones STAFF WriTer: andrew giaMbrone STAFF PhoToGrAPher: darrow MontgoMery inTerAcTive neWS DeveLoPer: zaCh rausnitz creATive DirecTor: jandos rothstein ArT DirecTor: stephanie rudig coPy eDiTor/ProDUcTion ASSiSTAnT: will warren conTriBUTinG WriTerS: jeffrey anderson, jonetta rose barras, Morgan baskin, VanCe brinkley, eriCa bruCe, kriston Capps, ruben Castaneda, justin Cook, shaun Courtney, riley Croghan, jeffry Cudlin, erin deVine, Matt dunn, tiM ebner, jake eMen, noah gittell, elena goukassian, sarah anne hughes, aManda kolson hurley, louis jaCobson, raChael johnson, Chris kelly, aMrita khalid, steVe kiViat, Chris kliMek, ron knox, allison kowalski, john krizel, jeroMe langston, aMy lyons, Christine MaCdonald, kelly MagyariCs, neVin Martell, keith Mathias, MaeVe MCderMott, traVis MitChell, Quinn Myers, triCia olszewski, eVe ottenberg, Mike paarlberg, beth shook, Matt terl, dan troMbly, taMMy tuCk, natalie VillaCorta, kaarin VeMbar, eMily walz, joe warMinsky, alona wartofsky, justin weber, MiChael j. west, alex zielinski, alan zilberMan inTern: noa rosinplotz

ADvERTIsIng AnD OpERATIOns

PUBLiSher: eriC norwood SALeS MAnAGer: Melanie babb Senior AccoUnT execUTiveS: arlene kaMinsky, aliCia Merritt, aris williaMs AccoUnT execUTiveS: stu kelly, Christy sitter, Chad Vale SALeS oPerATionS MAnAGer: heather MCandrews DirecTor oF MArKeTinG AnD evenTS: sara diCk BUSineSS DeveLoPMenT ASSociATe: edgard izaguirre oPerATionS DirecTor: jeff boswell Senior SALeS oPerATion AnD ProDUcTion coorDinATor: jane MartinaChe PUBLiSher eMeriTUS: aMy austin

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LocAL ADverTiSinG: (202) 650-6937 FAx: (202) 618-3959, ads@washingtonCitypaper.CoM Find a staFF diRectoRy With contact inFoRmation at WashingtoncityPaPeR.com voL. 36, no. 51 Dec. 16-22, 2016 washington City paper is published eVery week and is loCated at 734 15th st. nw, suite 400, washington, d.C. 20005.

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washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 5

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6 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

DistrictLine Councilmember Jack Evans’ cozy ties to digital media companies

By Jeffrey Anderson Fresh oFF a legislative victory for the billboard industry at Nationals Park, Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans’ attempt to preserve a loophole for digital sign companies doing business in the District seemed inevitable—especially given his close ties with the vendor that stands to benefit the most.

Evans recently introduced an emergency bill that would provide a permit exemption in certain cases—a boon for Digi Media Communications LLC, which already has installed numerous signs in violation of city rules and is looking to install dozens more throughout the District.

Loose Lips finds it telling that Evans and Digi Media CEO Don MacCord attended a Nantucket fundraiser for Hillary Clinton in August, and that both of their names, along with a number of other Digi Media executives and investors, appear on a list of contributions that Evans bundled so that he could attend the $50,000-a-head event. The list, dated Sept. 26 under Evans’ name and home address, shows 20 checks totaling $52,300— many of them also coming from developers with ties to Mayor Muriel Bowser.

Evans did not respond to requests for comment, but MacCord, who describes Evans to LL as “a fantastic person in many different ways,” says the contributions went directly to Clinton and have nothing to do with Evans. He acknowledges the benefit of attending an event that affords access to a political elite that could help promote the District, particularly with regard to the push for statehood, but says: “I see it as contributing to a candidate I was hopeful was going to win. I don’t see it any other way. And I don’t think Jack Evans needs help from Digi Media or Don MacCord to do a great job for his city.”

Stunningly, Evans’ emergency bill, which he withdrew on Dec. 6 for lack of votes but could re-introduce next week, would nullify a preliminary injunction that resulted from a lawsuit by D.C. Attorney General Karl Racine against Digi Media.

All eyes are on Evans going into the final D.C. Council session on Dec. 20 to see if he tries again. But MacCord tells LL that Evans’

loose lips

bill is not just about Digi Media; it’s about monetizing space inside buildings and “protecting signage rights for retailers, vendors, law firms, and businesses that have been in place for 60 years.”

Either way, if Evans goes forward, he’s in lockstep with Bowser. Until recently, she joined Racine in asking councilmembers to vote against Evans’ bill, which would exempt Digi Media’s network of digital signs from regulations enforced by the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs, according to Racine spokesman Rob Marus. But last week, Marus says, the mayor’s office informed the AG that she no longer opposes the bill. She indicated her support the next day.

Bowser is playing it coy. “The mayor’s position is that this is an issue where the councilmember should be allowed to advocate for their district,” says Bowser spokeswoman LaToya Foster. “She has not taken a position either against or in support, in order to give the councilmember an opportunity to make their case.”

The Bowser-Evans dance is intriguing. The checks Evans bundled for Clinton came from billboard execs and D.C. developers alike, including a familiar mix of Bowser-friendly developers, rainmakers, and campaign finance managers: Adrian Fenty’s former development director David Jannarone, who is now a real estate player; Bowser FreshPAC contributor and developer Buwa Binitie; Bowser campaign coordinator and fundraiser Phinis Jones; Jones’ sidekick and campaign finance manager Monica Ray, who managed Bowser ally LaRuby May’s campaign finances; and well-connected executives such as Lewis Shrensky, vice president of Fort Myer Construction Corporation, which is one of Bowser’s top donors.

Adams-Morgan resident Larry Hargrove, a member of citizen advocate group The Committee of 100, finds it “reprehensible” that Evans would save Digi Media’s bacon after Racine moved to shut it down. And he’s not alone in questioning Evans’ motives. “These are the last people D.C. should be doing favors for,” Hargrove says. “Rescuing these lawbreakers, it raises questions about what undisclosed inducements could be made for councilmembers or the mayor.”

D.C. has strong billboard laws, making its market size rank 114th out of 155 in the country, according to Financial Review. But in May, Australian firm Blue Sky Private Equity Ltd. announced a $19 million investment in Digi Media, which was building a network of 60 digital signs in prime commercial properties throughout D.C. The firm projected a valuation of $800 million over five to seven years, according to an executive summary prepared by an arm of Digi Media.

The signs would be scattered from Georgetown to Petworth, and L’Enfant Plaza to Mazza Gallery, with a heavy concentration downtown, near Foggy Bottom, and in the West End, the summary states. Work was already underway in July, when City Administrator Rashad Young prepared emergency regs that supported and strengthened stop-work orders at numerous unpermitted sites.

Digi continued to install its signs until Racine asked the D.C. Superior Court on Aug. 31 to force the company to halt work on existing signs and stop installing new ones. The court granted those motions on Nov. 10, suggesting it is likely to conclude Digi Media is breaking the law and that it will shut down the so-called permit exemption for good.

“The public interest is served by upholding DCRA’s enforcement and regulatory authority and in ensuring that entities like Digi operating in the District comply fully with the District’s Construction Codes and DCRA orders,” wrote Associate Judge Alfred S. Irving Jr. not about to be thwarted, Evans introduced his emergency bill that would require sign permits for certain signs that are “clearly discernible” from nearby properties but also exempt building owners if they received or even sought certain building or electrical permits—or if they installed signs at least 60 days before the bill would take effect. Critics note that the exemption would cover some 50 Digi Media digital signs, including those subject to DCRA stop-work orders and the court’s ruling. Evans withdrew the bill that same day, at least one vote shy of a nine-member “supermajority.”

George Clark of the Federation of Citizens

Darrow Montgomery/File

Billboard Baggin’

Associations sees the matter as an extension of recent council approval for a “designated entertainment area” at Nats Park that could be replicated almost anywhere in the city under Evans’ bill. The city already is creating such areas at the Convention Center, the site of the new D.C. United soccer stadium, and the site of the Washington Wizards practice facility, he says. “It’s one thing to go through the process to have billboards around sports arenas and stadiums, but to expedite an emergency bill that could result in [digital signs] all over the city, at the end of the legislative session with no public comment, I don’t understand that,” Clark says.

Racine is taking the matter in lawyerly stride. “Our office brought suit against Digi Media, in cooperation with [DCRA], because we believe Digi violated District law,” he says.

“While we respect the council’s authority to establish sign policy and legislatively undo the Superior Court’s ruling in this case, our office has heard from many District residents and organizations firmly opposed to the proliferation of these signs.”

At-Large Councilmember Elissa Silverman, one of the five votes that caused Evans to back off last week, adds: “I am concerned that this legislation is an end-run around a pending court case and our regulatory system.” Silverman says she prefers the council hold hearings in January to address “long-term negative effects on District residents’ quality of life and the aesthetics of our city.”

But the vulnerability of such a perilously close vote margin was best summed up by Council Chairman Phil Mendelson—also one of those five votes last week—as the Nats Park legislation sailed to passage amid heavy corporate lobbying: “It’s very difficult when a large enterprise … comes to the council saying, ‘Well, give us a few signs,’ for the council to then say ‘No.’ They’re major players in the city.”

CP

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 7

DistrictLinE The Ward Three Scrooges In the land of the overprivileged, some neighbors remain uneasy about a planned homeless shelter Residents of the District’s richest ward are struggling to defend their objections to a proposed shelter near the Metropolitan Police Department’s Second District station that would serve up to 50 families, part of Mayor Muriel Bowser’s plan to replace the deteriorating D.C. General family shelter with smaller ones throughout the city.

“It’s very easy to confuse a reaction concerned about the size with a reaction that does not want any shelters—not in my backyard, NIMBY,” says Victor Silveira, a neighborhood commissioner whose district abuts the site. “This is not a NIMBY attitude. This is: There’s an elephant coming, can we cut it in half or in four so we can better digest it?”

Nearly 100 Ward 3 residents attended a Tuesday night meeting at The Washington Hebrew Congregation, just steps from the site in question, to discuss the plan. Some worry that a new shelter on part of the parking lot at 3320 Idaho Ave. NW would impede the operations of MPD and emergency responders and complicate traffic, parking, and school capacity— the usual suspects of anti-development sentiment. Though few would admit to opposing a neighborhood homeless shelter in principle, many have decried its planned height as too big for the semi-suburban area. They want impact studies and other assurances that the facility won’t undermine their quality of life.

The proposed shelter is one of seven across the District that officials hope to build by 2020. The plan emerged after conditions at D.C. General, which houses 260 families, were so wretched that residents were regularly hospitalized for excessive insect bites and treated for fungal infections and scabies.

Multiple residents have also reported sexual advances by staff. And worst of all, 8-year-old Relisha Rudd disappeared from the former hospital in 2014 and is still missing.

The Ward 3 shelter would include private bedrooms, (mostly) shared bathrooms, a dining area, meeting spaces, a computer lab, laundry and recreational equipment, and plenty of natural light. There would be 24-hour security plus social workers, who would provide “wraparound services” such as financial and educa-

Housing complex

tional counseling. A tiered parking structure for MPD would be built behind the station, next to an existing community garden and tennis courts. Additionally, fencing or a wall would buffer a playground attached to the shelter from single-family houses on Idaho.

The matter is so controversial that it has become litigious. About a dozen Ward 3 residents filed suit against the District in August, claiming city officials had shirked neighborhood commision input in choosing the shelter site, thereby “defaulting on [the city government’s] obligation to give ‘great weight’ to any of [the ANC’s] recommendations.” A hearing for the case is scheduled for January.

Ward 5 neighbors later filed a similar lawsuit, and the District has moved to dismiss both. The plaintiffs seek to prevent officials from developing “short-term housing” proposed in their wards.

The stakes are high: If one shelter proposal fails, D.C.’s entire plan could collapse.

Dave Brown, an attorney for the Ward 3 residents, including a nonprofit group called “Neighbors for Responsive Government,” says the lawsuit is fundamentally about respect for process. “This may or may not result in a different site choice by the [D.C.] Council for Ward 3,” he notes, “but at least those concerns will have to be addressed, not ignored. … We have done everything we could to accelerate this case to an early decision.”

The D.C. Council amended Bowser’s proposal in May so that no shelter would sit on private land, thereby saving money. (Ward 3’s was first set for Wisconsin Avenue NW.) When the suit was filed, Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh argued that the council’s action did not “eliminate, in any way, the ANC or community’s involvement.” Chairman Phil Mendelson agreed, pointing out that months of discussion informed the legislation, and typical zoning hearings would apply.

Nonetheless, at Tuesday’s meeting—one of three this week—reaction to the project was

8 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

mixed. Audience members applauded after an older white man said there had been “precious little community input” regarding the Idaho Avenue site, while another offered the bizarre suggestion that homeless children could be at risk during a terrorist attack on the Second District police station. “I feel like I’ve been left out” of the process, a woman named Nancy said. “[It’s] a fait accompli.”

A woman named Sarah spoke up to say that many neighbors support the shelter.

“We’re arguing over petty things when these people don’t have access to basic necessities,” she said, describing the concerns of opponents as “first-world problems.” A third man asked what residents could do “to help expedite” the project.

“It’s not like people are against helping the homeless,” says Angela Bradbury, an incoming neighborhood commissioner. She notes that the District “should be applauded” for the proposal but believes that the discussion surrounding it is “more nuanced” than simply pro-shelter and anti-shelter.

Bowser’s administration is forging ahead on implementing the plan, though the land needed for the Ward 1 shelter remains in negotiations. D.C. Department of Human Services Director Laura Zeilinger says that, by law, each

Silveira characterizes the input the administration has solicited as “cosmetic questions requiring cosmetic answers.” “What they’re seeking is: ‘Tell me what color or material you want,’” he says. And if it weren’t a homeless shelter? “We would have focused on other things, but one is just the sheer size of it. The area was not zoned for this. Any project has impacts on services around it.”

In an urban context, Zeilinger counters, a mix of residences and government facilities is normal. Shelter architects will revise draft designs according to the feedback at the community meetings, and the District expects to send required documents to independent zoning officials next month.

Outgoing commissioner Margaret Siegel says “everyone she talks to very much feels that we should do our share,” such as setting up tutoring programs for children living in the shelter. Siegel says Idaho Avenue, with its access to transportation and retail, is preferable to the old venue. “I think it’ll all be OK as long as it’s sited in a way that the neighbors have some privacy,” she says.

Beyond the individual shelters, the District’s success will in large part depend on how effectively it connects homeless families to affordable housing. Zeilinger concedes as much,

shelter floor cannot house more than 10 families. “We’ve tried to be honest about what’s up for discussion and what isn’t,” she says.“If neighbors prefer a lesser height, for example, it’s not that we’re deaf to the feedback, but there are lines drawn for us that we don’t have the discretion to change. We’re working within the bounds of legislation.”

saying families need smooth exits from shelter. “If all we were doing is closing and replacing D.C. General, that would be nowhere near enough,” she contends. “Our efforts are first and foremost preventing homelessness. When that’s not possible, we need to be able to provide the right environment.”

CP

Darrow Montgomery

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DistrictLinE The Space Be-Tween

By Amanda Kolson Hurley “It looks like it doesn’t know what it wants to be.” “It’s boring, cold.” “Too gray.” These aren’t critics trashing an art show, but local middle schoolers assessing a flawed park in downtown Washington.

Renowned postmodern architect Robert Venturi and landscape architect George Patton designed Freedom Plaza in the late 1970s as part of a larger plan to improve Pennsylvania Avenue—a job that is still ongoing.

Like a lot of postmodern designs, the plaza rests on a clever conceit. Dark gray and white paving stones set on the plaza floor form a pattern that is actually a copy of part of L’Enfant’s famous plan of Washington. There are even panels of grass to represent the Mall and the Ellipse. It’s a planwithin-a-plan, an abstract representation of the city within the real thing: Get it?

But when eighth-graders at Two Rivers Public Charter School spent time in the plaza, they noticed some problems.

The city plan and quotations carved into the paving don’t read well on the ground.

The skateboarders who flock to the plaza annoy other visitors with the clacking of their boards on the stone. Water rarely flows from the fountain.

Most of all, there’s no focal point and nothing to do. So people tend to cut across the plaza rather than linger on its bare expanse.

“There’s nothing that keeps you there,” says middle school student Kaiya Cephas.

Cephas and her classmates studied Freedom Plaza in depth this fall. They visited the park, sketched it, and interviewed people visiting it. Back at school in NoMa, they learned about the democratic tradition of public space that stretches back to ancient Greece and Rome.

Then some of the students designed public art for the plaza while others reimagined the whole space. On Dec. 2, they presented their designs to panels of experts in architecture and urban planning, pointing to specific features on their graph paper drawings mounted on posterboard.

It turns out 13- and 14-year-olds are full of good ideas about how public space can serve

ConCrete Details

citizens better.

Some offered practical, low-cost fixes in their redesigns. Shane Jones wanted to turn the fountain back on and use lighting to set off the quotes. “At nighttime, the lights would turn on, and everybody would notice [them] more.” Gavin Seiden, observing that the plaza was a popular space for political rallies and other large events, put a stage at the east end of his drawing and moved the fountain to the middle, replacing the broken fountain on the western edge with a small garden. He also added a small cafe and a public bathroom, an amenity that would be appreciated on this tourist-rich stretch of Pennsylvania Avenue.

More boldly, Nyah Barrett suggested installing two rows of large sculptures representing the different cultures of the world.

They would be in the middle of the plaza, and inscribed with the words “Hear me” in multiple languages. She hoped they would bring people of different backgrounds together. “My design connects the most to the Baths of Caracalla, which is located in Rome. … They displayed art, and people went there to socialize,” she said.

Cora Nevel proposed putting large models of the White House and Capitol in the plaza and letting people write on them or drop postcards into them. Kaiya Cephas found a way to address one of D.C.’s most pressing social problems by including housing for the homeless in her scheme. Interestingly, both of these ideas have precedents. Models of the White House and Capitol were part of Venturi’s original design but were never installed. And the plaza has been lived in (or on) before—in 2011 Occupy D.C. protesters set up a tent city there.

Responding to the presentations, panelists were generous but pushed the students to think on their feet—not unlike a “crit” in architecture school. How would they maintain the design once it was built? What if their opportunities for public expression enabled hate speech or vandalism? Is art really enough to unite people who don’t speak the same language?

After the presentations, the panel selected several winners who will present their ideas to the National Capital Planning Commission on Dec. 20.

Social studies teacher Jill Clark started the urban design project at Two Rivers

10 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

five years ago. She saw it as a way to make the study of ancient civilizations more tangible for 21st-century teens. Athenian democracy may seem distant today, but public spaces in Washington can help kids grasp the role of the Greek agora. In past years, eighth graders have designed n e w p a rk s fo r NoMA and drawn up plans for reusing the RFK stadium site.

T h i s y e a r ’s project coincided with the presidential election. Discussions about public space, free speech, and democracy took on personal significance, and Clark encouraged students to respond to the election in their work. Several of their designs prioritized individual expression through message walls, Post-It notes, and other means.

Two Rivers has a racially mixed student body drawn from all over the District. That makes it more diverse than most architecture and urban planning firms in the United States. A paltry 2 percent of licensed architects are black. Less than 30 percent are female. In a 2013 survey, only 16 percent of members of the American Planning Association identified as racial minorities.

The demographic narrowness of the design professions appears in the physical city at every scale, from bus stops with poor lighting (women are more apt to feel vulnerable in public spaces) to the fact that nonwhite communities are exposed to pollution at a disproportionate rate.

There have been some local initiatives to address design’s “pipeline problem.” The Phelps Architecture, Construction and Engineering High School in Northeast was the first public high school in the U.S. to offer both college-prep courses and vocational

Darrow Montgomery

Thirteen-year-olds rethink Freedom Plaza.

education in design and construction. The Academy of Construction and Design at IDEA Public Charter School teaches architecture as well as trade skills, and the National Building Museum offers a design apprenticeship for teens.

Two Rivers’ annual urban-design project is rolled into the eighth-grade social studies curriculum and doesn’t require special teachers or facilities. That makes it ripe for adoption by other schools. But it does take a major investment of time, Clark notes.

She and her colleagues, Mo Thomas and Shannon Kelley, invite experts with specialties as varied as landscape architecture and transportation planning to provide feedback on students’ first drafts and to sit on panels.

“Every year, a significant proportion of our panelists and professionals giving feedback are people of color working in this field,” Clark says. “Kids do see people who look like them doing this work.” Maybe some of them will, too, one day. “[How] kids connect to the ancient world is—my kids really identify as residents of D.C.,” Clark adds. “It’s nice to ground them in something you can see or imagine, and they can access the bigger connections.”

CP

Gear Prudence Gear Prudence: There’s this guy in my office who bikes to work. He seems decent enough and he recently asked me out. The thing is that I’ve seen him in his bike shorts and, not to be too crass or shallow about it, I was pretty underwhelmed with the whole situation going on down there. Yeah, I looked. Not to put the cart before the horse, but I can’t help but wonder if I’d be more inclined to date him if I wasn’t so aware of his, um, shortcomings. Isn’t this something that men should think about when deciding how to dress for biking?

—Peeked And Can’t Knowingly Accept Guy’s Endowment Dear PACKAGE: They say that romance is dead. And they’re absolutely right because this is maybe the most honest and to-the-point question that GP has ever seen about a potential romantic liaison with someone of the cyclist persuasion. Surely Mr. Decent Enough truly regrets his sartorial decision now that it has rendered him ineligible for your affection. He was probably just thinking about donning attire that was comfortable and appropriate for his chosen activity and failed to realize that in so doing he’d be revealing a little more than the fact that he gets to work in a healthy, sustainable way. This is why GP always suggests that in addition to helmets, the safest cyclists wear codpieces.

Whether men take their relative exposure into account when choosing their bicycling outfit probably depends upon the man and his own comfort with his body. But bicycling, like other activities, has its own kind of uniform, and that uniform sometimes includes really tight shorts. That’s just part of the deal... And frankly, it would be real disservice to let vanity or concerns about “the whole situation going on down there” keep someone from the many benefits of bicycling.

There are certainly alternatives to tight lycra for bike commuting. There are padded “baggy” bike shorts, and a lot of guys choose to wear cargo or mesh shorts in lieu of spending money on bike-specific gear. These options would have preserved some of the mystery you feel you’ve been disabused of and perhaps have given him a better chance at getting to thoroughly disappoint you later in your relationship, rather than preempting it entirely.

GP isn’t going to tell you how to manage your love life. But maybe you’ve been shortsighted in more ways than one. Cycling is an aerobic activity that builds stamina and endurance. Additionally, it helps develop strong muscles throughout the core and legs. It’s unclear if you noticed these features in your quick perusal of your would-be suitor, but they might be worth considering.

—GP Gear Prudence is Brian McEntee, who tweets @sharrowsDC. Got a question about cycling?

Email gearprudence@washcp.com.

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Perhaps you’re not the best person to ask, being a cis white man, but as a queer woman of color, the election had an extremely detrimental effect on my relationships with my white partners. I love and care for them, but looking at those results has me wondering why the fuck they didn’t do better in reaching out to their shitty relatives? I’m sick of living at the whim of white America. I’m aware this is the blame stage of processing, but it’s left me unable to orgasm with my white partners. I’m really struggling with what Trump means for me and others who look like me. I know my queer white partners aren’t exempt from the ramifications of this, but I wish they had done better. Respond however you like.

—Devastated Over National Election First and most importantly, DONE, you don’t have to fuck anyone you don’t wanna fuck—period, the end, fin, full stop, terminus—but we owe it to ourselves to be thoughtful about who we’re fucking, who we aren’t, and why.

Data isn’t a turn-on for most people, DONE, and I’m not suggesting the data I’m about to cite obligates you to fuck anyone. But queer voters (a group that includes millions of people of color) didn’t just reject Trump, they did so by wider margins than some communities of color (groups that include millions of queers). While 14 percent of LGBT voters backed Trump, 28 percent of Latino voters and 19 percent of Asian American voters backed Trump. (Only 8 percent of African Americans voted for Trump.) The shitty and unfathomable votes of some POC—and some queers (WTF, 14 percenters?)—doesn’t get your white partners off the orgasm-killing hook. It’s possible your white queer partners didn’t do enough to persuade their families back in Clinton County, Iowa, to vote against hatred, fascism, racism, and Trump. (Trump won Clinton County, Iowa, by five depressing points.)

Like you, DONE, I’m struggling with what this election means. I’m not going to tell you what to do, or who to do, or how to process the election. I am going to tell you to talk with all your partners about your fears and your anger, and I encourage you to do whatever and whoever feels right going forward.

—Dan Savage

If the GOP can send a huge prick like Donald J. Trump to the White House, why can’t we send our own pricks? My modest proposal: a coordinated effort to send thousands of dildos to Trump on Jan. 21—enough dildos to make news and get under his thin skin. This coordinated effort would be supplied and vetted by responsible, womenfriendly sex shops with a portion of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood, LGBT charities,

12 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

and the ACLU. —Donald Is Loathsomely, Disastrously Outrageous

I like the way your mind works, DILDO, but your plan would result in good dildos going to waste. So perhaps we should do a dildo version of the ice-bucket-challenge thing instead? You gift a dildo to someone through a cooperating, woman-friendly, progressive sex-toy shop, and that person gifts a dildo to someone else, and so on. A portion of the proceeds for each gifted dildo goes to groups fighting Trump’s agenda and a card gets sent to Trump letting him know a dildo was gifted to a deserving orifice in his name and a worthy organization benefited.

Nearly 100,000 people have made donations to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name since the election, and that’s made news. This could too, DILDO. If someone wants to run with this idea, I’ve purchased the URL marchofdildos.com. Get in touch, show me your plan, and I’ll gift the URL to you.

—DS

The Trump administration is going to take so much from us, UNSUBS. We can’t let them take our kinks, too.

My wife enjoys being submissive and getting spanked. A few weeks ago, she asked to put that part of our sex play on hold. The ugliness of Trump’s sexual aggressions made her feel strange. We joked about the fun we’d have after the election. Well, here we are, and that asshole and his misogyny are going to be front and center for the next four years. How do we get back to being us?

—Upsetting News Sincerely Unnerves Best Spouse Voting rights, health care, public education,

legal pot, police reform, a habitable planet, LGBT equality, our undocumented friends, coworkers, and lovers—the Trump misadministration is going to take so much from us, UNSUBS. We can’t let them take our kinks, too.

Encourage your wife to feel the shit out of her feelings and don’t pressure her or rush her— and if she needs to put spanking on hold for the next four years, I wouldn’t blame her, and you shouldn’t shame her. In the meantime, UNSUBS, maybe spanking your ass would make her feel better?

—DS

I have an idea for something that I think might make it a bit easier for us to survive Trump. What if there were “Trump Minus 100” parties? Every time we get another 100 days closer to the end of the Trump/Pence administration, we have a gettogether to celebrate, commiserate, protest, raise money, whatever. The first party would be just a few days before the inauguration—to stiffen people’s resolve—and then three or four parties a year after that. Here are how the dates fall out: Sunday, Jan. 15, 2017 (1,100 days left); Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (1,000 days left); Thursday, Aug. 3, 2017 (900 days left); Saturday, Nov. 11, 2017 (800 days left); Monday, Feb. 19, 2018 (700 days left); Wednesday, May 30, 2018 (600 days left); Friday, Sept. 7, 2018 (500 days left); Sunday, Dec. 16, 2018 (400 days left); Tuesday, March 26, 2019 (300 days left); Thursday, July 4, 2019 (200 days left and the Fourth of July!); Saturday, Oct. 12, 2019 (100 days left); Monday, Jan. 20, 2020 (0 days left). What do you think?

—One Hundred Days At A Time Something about seeing the next four years broken up into 12—just 12!—100-day chunks makes it seem less daunting. Orange Julius Caesar can do a lot of damage over four years, of course, but breaking his term into 100-day increments and making each hundredth day a day of action is a great idea. If someone out there wants to pick up OHDAAT’s idea and run with it, I purchased the URL TrumpMinus100. com. Get in touch, show me your plan, and I’ll pass the URL on to you.

—DS In response to Peaceful Protester from a couple of weeks ago—the reader who suggested protesting at Trump’s inauguration—everyone needs to know that a protest is already planned! It’s called the Women’s March on Washington, but all genders are welcome, and local protests are being organized around the country for those who can’t make it to Washington, DC. —Protesting in Minnesota Thanks for sharing, PIM! Email your Savage Love questions to mail@savagelove.net.

—DS

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Payne and Suffering

After nearly a decade fighting city hall, whistleblower Eric Payne has won a major civil suit. But while it’s vindication, it’s hardly victory.

By Bill Myers

PhotogrAPhs By DArrow MontgoMEry

our chrisTian friends assure us that, wretched sinners that we are, salvation may yet be afforded us if we cast lots over our goats, plucking two unlucky beasts from the heard: The first belongs to the Lord himself (he is, by his own admission, “a jealous god”), but the second is all ours.

“And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat, and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins, putting them upon the head of the goat, and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness” (Leviticus, 16: 21).

Four hundred years of Enlightenment have brought us to the point when not even our most devout brethren use the word “scapegoat” to signify joy. And yet the ritual itself continues, even in secular temples.

Two days before Thanksgiving, a civil jury in U.S. District Judge Paul Friedman’s courtroom called a halt to at least one such sacrifice.

In ruling in favor of former city finance official Eric W. Payne, and ordering the District to pay him $1.7 million in damages, it not only called Payne back from the wilderness, it offered the District’s own jealous gods a rebuke.

“This verdict shows a community commitment to combat government waste, fraud and abuse,” says attorney Brian K. McDaniel, who, along with Donald H. Temple, argued the case for Payne. “More acutely, the verdict vindicates the unbelievable personal and family struggles of Eric.”

A star from early days of the Clinton Administration, Payne was a procurement officer in the D.C. finance office until 2009, when, in a tribal battle over the city’s lottery contract, he

found that his lot had been drawn and he was weighed down with all the iniquities of a corrupt city government.

The lawsuit he filed took nearly seven years to litigate, but it’s not terribly complex. Payne claims that he was pressured by D.C. Council members to scrap a lottery contract that he had fairly, and painstakingly, awarded to a partnership between a Greek company and a local contractor. When he refused to do so, and when he exposed other corruption in the city finance office, he was ritually pulled apart, humiliated, and eventually exiled.

Jurors in his case took about eight hours to deliberate. It wasn’t close: Payne had alleged 11 violations of the Whistleblower Protection Act, and the jury—seven women, three men—ruled in his favor in all 11. They ordered the District to pay Payne $1.7 million in damages, plus back pay and attorneys’ fees and expenses.

The verdict seems to be a long-awaited vindication of an honorable man who has been horribly treated. Payne isn’t so sure. “I feel like my name has been cleared,” he says, “but this isn’t over yet, not by a long shot.”

Indeed not. D.C. Attorney General Karl Racine is simultaneously beating his chest about trying to ensure honest government and threatening to appeal the verdict, presumably to whittle a few bucks from Payne’s award. His spokesman issued a two paragraph statement that boils down to “no comment.”

“The Office of the Attorney General is required to represent the District of Columbia’s interests in lawsuits, and we take this responsibility very seriously,” the spokesman says.

“Our role in this matter is that of the attorney for the city, and in that capacity, we cannot

14 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

comment on the details of confidential negotiations or decisions regarding litigation.”

The record of the Payne case reads itself like an ancient prayer, summoning the ghosts of those long thought buried: The specters of former Councilmember Jim Graham and former D.C. Chief Financial Officer Natwar Gandhi (as well as a finance official who actually died during this litigation but whose deposition was read during the two-week trial), all haunted the case. To most of local D.C., these figures are consigned to the mystic memories or vinegary grudges of a few old timers who still gather in the temple to keep up the old ceremonies.

The Payne case also calls us, prophetically, to the sins of the here and now. David Tseng, whom Payne came to see as a central villain and who did not respond to City Paper’s request for comment, remains ensconced in his job as the top lawyer for the finance office, as do several other executives who drove Payne out of the District. (Finance office flack David Umansky, who had been all too eager to smear Payne when he was fired in 2009, didn’t respond to requests for comment.) Vincent Gray, who has spent the better part of a year claiming that the U.S. attorney’s unwillingness to prosecute him for a shadow mayoral campaign is the same thing as vindication, was another key figure in the trial. He takes his old Ward 7 D.C. Council seat next month and also declined comment for this story.

Finally, the Payne case points us to future revelations. The city seems intent on figuring out those noises it has been hearing in the Department of General Services attic: There is legitimate worry that city bureaucrats were pun-

ished for not taking care of political cronies, which means we may be destined for deja vu.

“I don’t think we’re even trying now, to be honest with you,” says Patrick Burns, who leads the Taxpayers Against Fraud Education Fund, a nonprofit group funded by plaintiff ’s lawyers that advocates for systemic overhauls of corporate and government whistleblower rules. “D.C. government is not trying to change its culture, but neither is any other agency, so why should they be different?”

Payne’s friends had warned him about coming to D.C. government when he was offered two separate jobs in 2004. “I was encouraged to really think long and hard about whether it was a good career move, given my federal background,” he recalls. “I was just told that local D.C. government was a different beast. But I dismissed it.”

One job offer was in the mayor’s office, the other in the city finance office. He took the finance job largely because, thanks to his consulting work, he’d had a belly full of mayor’s offices. “I wasn’t worried about mayoral politics there,” he says. “My presumption was, it would just be about the work.”

He rose rapidly in the ranks and saw, or thought he saw, that he was appreciated and respected. By 2005, he was asked to take over the Office of Contracts and Procurements.

The office, even Payne’s enemies concede, was a shit show: It had chewed through five directors in less than three years, and was a constant source of negative audits, and, worst of all from the perspective of Natwar Gandhi,who did not respond to a request for comment, negative news stories.

“As long as I addressed those issues,” Payne says of his marching orders, “I was golden.”

Payne was happy in the job, proud of the work, and spent long hours getting things right. He felt he was making a difference: For the first time in years, the contracting office got

clean audits and the scandals were gone.

But then, in early 2006, the FBI came calling. Someone had hacked the city’s lottery and was printing off phony tickets. The FBI had run its high-tech traps and zeroed in on a suspect machine, but wanted to wait for the hackers to

get comfortable before making any arrests. As the FBI had predicted, the scammers printed off a few tickets the first day they were monitored, a few more the day after, and so on. A raid, long deliberated and planned, was ready for launch in the spring of 2006.

Payne came to work that morning expecting jubilation.

“And everybody’s crestfallen,” he recalls.

“The announcement is made, ‘The raid has failed.’”

The suspect machine, which had been furi-

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 15

ously printing tickets just the day before, had fallen silent.

“We’ve got a system that’s compromised, and the machine that was used to print the fake tickets is probably at the bottom of the Potomac,” Payne says. “Someone had tipped them off. And that somebody had to have been in the finance office.”

Gandhi called his top aides together to discuss the crisis. But to Payne’s surprise, fixing the problem in the lottery seemed a secondorder concern. “We spent more time talking about how to keep this out of the papers, how to not report it to the multistate lottery regulators, than we did talking about the fraudulent tickets, how the leak occurred, and why we didn’t catch the culprit,” Payne says.

There was one action that Gandhi was willing to take, beyond protecting his reputation, though, Payne says. Leonard Manning, the colorful east-of-the-river operator who had run the city’s lottery contract going back to the Marion Barry days, had to go.

“Gandhi wanted the contract terminated immediately,” Payne recalls. “I told him that we couldn’t do it because we had to put it out for bid.”

It may take an effort of memory to recall this, but there was a time when Natwar Gandhi was the closest thing the District government had ever come to an actual celebrity. He had helped pull D.C. from its deathbed: The finance office had finally balanced the city’s books and gotten it out from under Congressional control. Even better, yuppies were flocking to the District and the tax revenues were flowing in. Gandhi, who stepped down from the job in 2013, gleefully took the credit.

Friends and colleagues called him “Dr. No,” and he relished the title. His best constituency was the local press corps. A well-chosen leak from “finance officials” could—and often did—scrap years of political horse-trading and could wreck the ambitions of the mightiest developer or best-intentioned nonprofit group.

While Gandhi still occasionally remembered to affect false modesty (“I’m just a bean counter,” he often said at his council appearances), the fact was, you weren’t anyone in local politics until Gandhi had invited you to breakfast at the Old Ebbitt Grill.

Payne didn’t understand the risks inherent in saying “no” to Gandhi because he was still relatively new to D.C. government. But Payne won the point: It was agreed that, since Manning’s lottery contract was going to expire the next year anyway, it would be put out for public bid. Payne was to be in charge of it.

Payne admits that he can be rigid, a stickler for procedure. Even his friends say that he sometimes talks as if he were under oath. (We were fully four hours into one of our conversations for this story before he dropped his first F-bomb—and then he begged it to be kept off the record.)

Many bureaucrats will tell you they believe in process. But Payne really, really means it.

One mOrning in 1976, Payne was watching TV in his family’s crowded, two-bedroom apartment in Rogers Park, an imperfectly gentrified

neighborhood on Chicago’s far North Side that, to this day, is a disorienting blend of extreme urban wealth and extreme urban poverty.

“The door, literally, was kicked in, and a stream of men with guns drawn come pouring in. They were shouting, ‘Freeze, nobody move,’” he says. “I remember screams, I remember crying. Just terror.”

The men, Brill Cream-flecked FBI agents and some of the less sentimental members of Chicago’s notoriously unsentimental police department, were looking for Eric’s dad.

Winfred Payne had been in and out of jail since 1969, when he began robbing banks—ostensibly to help the Black Panther Party and its revolutions. By the time young Eric got his introduction to the forces of law and order, in 1976, Winfred Payne had been busting out of state and federal jails for nearly five years. This time, he’d bribed his way out of Cook County Jail.

Eric Payne doesn’t have a youthful memory of his dad that isn’t filtered through the foggy plate glass or crusty phone lines of federal prison visiting rooms.

“When I was young, people asked me about my mom and my dad and I would say my father worked in government,” Payne says. “He never apologized. In his mind, he did what he needed to do to support his family. He would frequently say that this was his way of sort of participating.”

(Years later, the elder Payne was still slightly defensive about his career: “We’d say we were doing it for the right reasons, but really a lot of the money went to us,” he told an interviewer in 2004. “But a lot of it went to help the party and help people. ...It helped black folk.”

Young Eric settled on a couple of things very early. First, he was going to be a lawyer; second, he was never going to jail.

“Things have always been pretty black and white for me,” he says. “If you can’t find a white-collar job, then you get a blue-collar job. You do what we need to do to stay on the right side of the law.”

Payne was a gifted but indifferent studentwho bored easily. He skipped school, spending his days with friends on State Street. A mainspring snapped when he was about 14.

“I got in trouble, got this suspension, and my mother jumped all over me about it,” Payne recalls. Linda Payne had often threatened to send Eric down to Arkansas, where his father’s family lived, and she renewed the threat. “I said to my mother in a fit of anger, ‘If you’re going to send me to Arkansas, do it.’

And the next day, I was on a bus.”

Little Rock was tough. It was a strange country, peopled by folk who’d never heard of house music. His grandmother, Dorothy Walker, was

one of the heroes of the Civil Rights era and someone the folks of Little Rock knew was the woman to see when the landlord demanded the rent or your kids might not have toys for Christmas. But she was also a strict, Christian woman, and Winfred’s jailing weighed on her heavily. Eric lost count of the number of trips he had made to the backyard in those early months to pick out a switch for his grandmother’s ministrations.

“I think for me it was like a bad dream,” he recalls. “It just was tough.”

But there were a few bright spots. For one, he had his own room, in an actual house. Then there was church. There was school, where he was allowed to skip ahead until he found topics that could hold his interest.

Finally, and most importantly, there was Tice. Robbie Latrice Martin was Winfred Payne’s baby sister. She was, in every sense, the life of the party. It was she who took young Eric aside after his sessions with Grandma’s switches, who gave him a place to crash on weekends, driving lessons on the long, barren roads between Arkansas and whatever federal prison his father was stewing in, and a malt shop for him and his new friends to come hang in, cheeseburgers on the house.

About a year after young Eric had come to Little Rock, he and Tice made plans to go visit Winfred Payne in prison. As soon as Eric finished church on Sunday, she and Eric would head off to Oklahoma. As he and his grandparents were coming home from church, though, an unmarked police car pulled up.

“I heard my grandmother screaming from the other room,” Payne recalls.

Police had found Tice in a parking lot outside an apartment in West Little Rock. She had been shot several times. Authorities would later tell Tice’s family that she might have survived the shots. “But no one called the police or ambulance,” Payne says. “If someone had said something, she’d still be alive.”

Tice’s death remains unsolved.

Like sO many people before him—and others who will come after—Payne didn’t plan to be a whistleblower; he had his lot cast for him.

“I know I’ve got a client who’ll go the distance when I hear them say, ‘Well, I had to do something,’” says Colette Matzzie, a partner at Philips & Cohen who successfully represented D.C. schools whistleblower Jeff Mills. “It’s usually a very eye-opening and disappointing experience that they go through. It dawns on them at some point that, no, not only are they being ignored and there’s no interest in fixing the problem, but they find themselves under increased scrutiny, demotion, ostracism and

Eric PaynE didn’t Plan to bE a whistlEblowEr; hE had his lot cast for him.

16 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

ultimately, for many, termination.”

In the spring of 2006, Payne took the first steps toward a new lottery contract. Worried about the seemingly endless litigation surrounding other state lotteries, Payne created three layers of impartial review, marshalling technical experts from within and outside the government to evaluate every possible angle of incoming bids. His bosses, he says, stayed out of the way.

But the next year, while the lottery bids were being considered, the air of the finance office turned poisonous. Federal officials raided the city’s tax office and frog-marched out mid-level bureaucrat Harriette Walters. “Mother Harriette,” as some colleagues knew her, had been shoveling gobs of money into a series of pathetically shabby front companies for decades.

A full accounting of the theft doesn’t appear to have been done, but the feds and Walters eventually agreed that it was upwards of $50 million. It remains the District’s biggest public corruption scandal.

It was one thing for the city to lose that kind of money so idiotically—this was, after all, D.C. It was another for it to happen in the very temple of Dr. No himself. Finance officials quickly learned what it meant to provoke the wrath of such a jealous god, Payne says.

“Gandhi’s political stature was beginning to falter,” Payne recalls. “He was not as strong as he had been. He was a bit more—humbled’s not the right word—but he just knew he was in trouble.”

As longtime colleagues were falling in the ritual sacrifices that followed the Walters scandal, Payne heard an ominous prophecy from a friend in the finance office who’d been around D.C. for a while. “There’s no way,” she said, “that Leonard Manning is going to lose the lottery contract.”

“I battened down the hatches,” Payne recalls, burying himself in his work and creating even more levels of review for the lottery bids.

He was relieved by the end of 2007, when the blue-ribbon panels had done their work and— Payne thought—he could move on to other projects. The selection committees had chosen the bid of a Greek conglomerate and their local partner, a company that, Payne would only learn after the fact, was run by the wife of Warren Williams, one of then-Mayor Adrian Fenty’s favorite developers.

In putting the bid forward, Payne had inadvertently stepped into a vicious battle between D.C.’s high priests: Then-D.C. Council Chairman Vince Gray was a longtime pal of Leonard Manning and would eventually run against— and defeat—Fenty for the mayor’s seat. ThenCouncilmember Jim Graham sat on Metro’s board and was peeved that one of Williams’ companies had been given a fat development contract. Jack Evans, who chaired the finance committee and was Gandhi’s council rabbi, had his own problems with Williams and his own loyalties to Manning. Payne, though, wouldn’t learn any of this information until it was too late, and his lot had been cast.

District law requires the D.C. Council to approve all public contracts worth more than $1 million. In December 2007, Payne forwarded the proposed new lottery contract to his boss-

es for review. There were “some administrative changes”—housekeeping formalities—but nothing substantive, Payne says. Gandhi’s office duly passed the contract off to the council in early 2008.

And then, nothing.

“I began firing flares, sending emails asking, ‘What’s going on with the lottery contract?’” Payne recalls. He also talked to his bosses, worried that “there’s some political horse-trading going on.”

In February 2008, Payne got a call from David Tseng, the finance office general counsel who had clashed with Payne in the months before over whether Tseng had the authority to select and approve his department’s contracts, or whether that had to be done through Payne’s office. Now, though, Tseng wanted to talk about the lottery contract.

“He calls and says we’re working to get the lottery contract approved via passive approval,” Payne recalls.

Under D.C. law, the council has 10 days to review and approve contracts. If it doesn’t act, the contract automatically becomes law. Some government types had used passive approval to sneak through sweetheart deals, buried among dozens of mundane or even terminally boring resolutions or actions.

Payne says he would have none of it. “What I was hearing from the general counsel was they were going to get this approved via the back door. I questioned whether it was legal, and the words he used were, ‘Eric, I’m the general counsel. We’ve looked at what the requirements are, and we can get this done.’”

Payne remained firm, and Tseng relented.

But Tseng and Gandhi demanded that Payne and another finance official appear before the council to defend the lottery contract in two separate public meetings in early April 2008, Payne says. Whenever finance officials had appeared before the council previously, the finance office had prepped them carefully, but Payne and his comrade were offered no prep.

“It felt like a setup,” he says.

Before the hearing, Payne says he and other senior finance officials sat down with Evans.

As Payne tells it, Evans said that “everybody hated” Williams and that it would be better to give the contract back to Leonard Manning and let him partner with the Greek conglomerate. In Payne’s view, it’s “improper at best” for an elected official to push a publicly solicited contract toward a more favored company.

Even worse, though, Payne says, Gandhi himself parroted Evans’ line.

Evans didn’t respond to requests for comment about this story.

The council’s Committee of the Whole met April 9, and Payne says Evans and Graham grilled him the hardest but that he had already heard that then-Chairman Gray was adamant about protecting Leonard Manning’s contract. Graham, who lost reelection in 2014, is still fending off a civil suit alleging that he tried to get Williams to withdraw from his development deal at Metro in exchange for supporting the lottery contract.

In a brief interview, Graham denied any wrongdoing. “Myself, Vince Gray, and Jack Ev-

“thE rulE was, if you sEE somEthing, say somEthing. i just was stuPid Enough to bEliEvE that thEy mEant it.”

—Eric PaynE ans had a vote on that contract. We were obligated to cast those votes. And that’s what we did.”

Payne says he approached Gray after his grilling, hoping to learn what the council chairman was worried about. But Gray wasn’t interested in “fixing” the contract, Payne says.

Gray declined comment for this story. on The same afternoon of that meeting, Payne says, he had one of his regularly scheduled meetings with his staff and boss. Underlings in the meeting mentioned, almost in passing, that they were worried about a contract that had been let by the finance office’s technology department. The contracting company was being paid to provide professional staffers to the tech office, but nobody had seen any of the staffers. Payne turned to his boss and asked whether they should alert the finance office’s integrity unit.

In the wake of the Walters scandal (which was then still working its way through federal court), Gandhi’s loyalists had completely overhauled the finance office’s ethics manual. More than that, they had put every employee through days of training and had them each sign a disclosure admitting that they had been trained proper-like.

“The rule was, if you see something, say something,” Payne says. “I just was stupid enough to believe that they meant it.”

It sounded to Payne that his staff were talking about a ghost-payrolling scandal in the technology department, and he thought it best to bring in the integrity investigators. His boss agreed, and a day later Payne called internal investigators to set up a meeting. The following week, though, the city’s lottery system— the one that Graham, Gray, and Evans were fighting to preserve—collapsed. It went offline and tickets could be neither bought nor sold.

It took a while to sort out, which meant that Payne wasn’t ready to sit down with integrity office investigators until May 2008.

By that time, he had more to talk about.

Sometime in April, Payne got a phone call from a lawyer in private practice, who told Payne that he’d just been given advance copies of bid specifications for a legal procurement that Tseng’s office was about to announce. A scant few days later, an email came from a minority law firm the finance office favored. The email mentioned a public contract that the firm had won. It went on to mention that the minority firm was, in fact, only a front for the actual, intended beneficiary, and that the firm would be happy to act as a “pass through” for public dol-

lars for the low price of $100,000 off the top.

Payne was shocked. He sat down with integrity office investigators to report his findings and concerns. He returned from that meeting not sure what would happen but confident, at least, that he’d done his duty.

But then Gandhi went to lunch with Graham, Payne says. When he returned, Gandhi ordered Tseng to request a criminal investigation of Eric Payne. Payne later learned that Graham had accused him of offering ghost-payrolling jobs to Graham’s political allies in exchange for his vote on the lottery contract. The allegation went nowhere: Investigators assured Payne within a few weeks that he had been cleared, but it convinced Payne that he had unwittingly made some powerful, determined enemies.

Finance office investigators agreed and urged him to take his concerns about the lottery and other contracting “irregularities” to the city’s inspector general, even the FBI. The inspector general’s criminal division opened a probe into the ghost-payrolling and bid-rigging concerns on June 26, 2008, Payne says.

WiThin five days, Payne was called into his boss’ office. He was told that he was no longer the director of contracting and procurement, that he would instead report to one of his former underlings. He was moved to an office across the building filled with storage boxes. He was cut out of senior meetings and no longer had any responsibilities—except, of course, to be “the public face of the lottery contract,” Payne says.

For the next few months, whenever reporters had questions about the lottery contract, or the D.C. Council wanted to rage publicly against the finance office (until recently, a popular adjective at the Wilson Building was “Graham-standing”), Payne would be the one sent to pull the switch off the tree.

In December 2008, the council, led by Graham and Gray, voted against the new lottery contract. Two weeks later, Payne was fired.

At first, Payne was feeling confident that he’d be back on his feet. He had some consulting contracts ready to go, thanks to some old friends from the Clinton years, and the city’s then-attorney general had assured Payne that all would be well.

“I sent a demand letter, and I expected that the case would settle quickly and I would just go on my merry way,” he says. “What became very obvious in the press stories was the narrative adopted by the finance office that Eric was a horrible supervisor, horrible employee, and

we should have fired him a long time ago.”

The demand LeTTer went nowhere, the consulting gigs slowly dried up. Former friends seemed suddenly less eager to pick up their phones. It got harder to get out of bed. He gained more than 100 pounds. He and his wife were evicted from their Virginia home after the landlord—who admired Payne’s moxie and who was willing to cut the family a break—died suddenly and a distant nephew demanded back rent.

Payne didn’t have a monopoly on the stress.

His wife Brandy miscarried—twice. They were able to stay afloat, briefly, with family loans. By the spring of 2013, Payne’s friends were hosting a fundraiser just to keep the family from having their car repossessed. A job finally opened in 2014—in Saudi Arabia. Payne and his family spent nearly three years in the desert.

Sadly, Payne’s case is not unique. In 2010, the New England Journal of Medicine studied the wellbeing of nearly two dozen whistleblowers in government healthcare fraud cases. Some reported marital problems, even divorce, as a consequence of their crusade, while a majority reported stress-related health problems, from psoriasis to shingles.

Meanwhile, the District fought dagger-tohilt against Payne’s lawsuit. City lawyers tried to subpoena Bill Clinton and ABC News host George Stephanopoulos, which made it even harder for Payne to find friends willing to pick up the phone. He lost more than once at Superior Court and only had his wrongful termination case reinstated at federal court after the judge reconsidered his decision. The District didn’t make a settlement offer until a week before the case went to trial.

When Payne’s lawyers called Graham, Gray, and Evans to testify, the D.C. Council sent its own lawyers to assert parliamentary immunity. Payne wanted to get the officials on the stand—especially Graham, whom he believed had wronged him most—but his lawyers convinced him that even if Judge Friedman ruled in their favor on the immunity, it would give the District an issue to appeal.

Payne has his verdict now, even if he’s uncertain that it will stand. He says he’s breathing easier than he has in years. For him, the important thing is that an impartial panel heard his story and believed he was right. No appeal can take that away.

He’s also proud to have made it through the ordeal. “They tried their best to break me,” he says of the city. “They just couldn’t do it, that’s all.”

Yet the ritual sacrifice from which he has just been spared seems certain to continue. Even his erstwhile fans acknowledge that.

“I’m very pleased for Eric,” says Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh. “He was put through hell, he was vilified, and it turned out that he was right all along. It’s very, very hard to bring these whistleblower suits—you have to have a lot of stamina, you have to have a lot courage. It’s unfortunate, but that’s how the system works.”

And that’s what makes Payne despair the most. Even if he gets all the money at stake now, he often asks himself, was it worth it?

His answer: “No comment.”

CP

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 17

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Exhibitors ANTIQUES & COLLECTIBLES

FOOD & BEVERAGES

Capitol Poster Gallery #41, Nov 28(M)–Nov 30(W) Jentz Prints #7, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) Tom Rall #13/14, Nov 25(F)–Dec 5(M)

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russian-classics.com

View a daily schedule at DowntownHolidayMarket.com.

Find unique and wonderful items offered by over 150 exhibitors. Please note, exhibitors may rotate and/or may not be at the Market every day. See the Exhibitor Categories above for the participant list, booth numbers and days of participation.

See the SITE MAP for booth locations. (M)onday (T)uesday (W)ednesday (Th)ursday (F)riday (S)aturday (Su)nday washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 21

Exhibitors (cont.)

Tunisian Touch #23, Nov 25(F)–Dec 16(F)

Amanda Hagerman Jewelry

Black Black Moon #26, Dec 16(F)–Dec 23(F)

D. Collection #3, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F)

#20, Dec 21(W) -Dec 23(F)

#21, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su)

blackblackmoon.carbonmade.com

tunisiantouch.com

amandahagermanjewelry.com

Vida Dulce Imports

American Princess

Carol-lynn Swol Jewelry Design #60, Dec 5(M)–Dec 8(Th)

David Conroy Art #54, Dec 1(Th)–Dec 8(Th)

#30, Nov 25(F)–Dec 8(Th) vidadulceimports.com

#55, Dec 2(F)–Dec 10(S) Andrea Haffner

clswol.com

davidconroyart.com

Deco Etc. #58, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) decoetcjewelry.com

JEWELRY

andreahaffner.com

Chris Bergman Handmade #18, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) #28, Dec 23(F)

August Nine Designs

instagram.com/chris.bergman

Al’s Beads

#18, Dec 17(S)–Dec 23(F)

#61, Nov 28(M)–Dec 19(M)

augustninedesigns.com

Courtney Gillen #39, Dec 18(Su)–Dec 23(F)

#23, Dec 17(S)–Dec 23(F)

22 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Harun’sAfrican Art #25, Dec 16(F)–Dec 23(F)

J.dell Designs #18, Nov 28(M)–Dec 1(Th) #16, Dec 22(Th)–Dec 23(F)

Laura Moore Designs

etsy.com/shop/JdellDesigns

Leah Staley Designs

Jewelry by Elsa #20, Nov 28(M)–Dec 1(Th) jewelrybyelsa.com

Karen Coston Jewelry #12, Dec 14(W)–Dec 23(F)

#26, Nov 25(F)–Dec 1(Th) lauramooredesigns.com

#52, Dec 16(F)–Dec 19(M) leahstaley.com

Leah Sturgis Jewelry Art #35, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F)

Karencoston.com

leahsturgis.com

InBloom Jewelry #18, Dec 5(M)–Dec 16(F)

Kiwi Exquisite #17, Dec 20(T)–Dec 23(F)

Lilypad Designs

inbloomjewelry.com

kiwikathy.blogspot.com

lilypad-designs.com

#28, Dec 13(T)–Dec 22(Th)

Exhibitors (cont.)

9th St.

Smithsonian American Art Museum & National Portrait Gallery

ATM

1

2 3 4 5

15 16 17 18 19

6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

ATM

Info

Stage

20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

41 42 43 44 45

48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57

46

47

7th St.

Gallery Place/ Chinatown Metro

58 59 60 61 62 63

F St.

2

l

annua

mann made designs #57, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) mannmadedesigns.com

Maruxi Vintage #21, Nov 28(M)–Dec 14(W) maruxivintage.com

Moya Gallery #53, Dec 17(S)–Dec 23(F) moya-gallery.com

Nikki’s Jewelry Box #28, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) NikkisJewelryBox.com

Ofina #14, Dec 6(T)–Dec 10(S) ofina.net

RuthieLine Jewelry Designs #60, Dec 5(M)–Dec 8(Th) etsy.com/shop/ RuthieLineJewelryDsn

Stio Design #24, Nov 25(F)–Dec 6(T) #52, Dec 20(T)–Dec 23(F) ancientcoindesigns.com

Studio on F Jewelry #26, Dec 5(M)–Dec 8(Th) studioonf.com

Terry Pool Design #16, Dec 7(W)–Dec 21(W) terrypooldesign.com

The Secret Jewelry Garden #59, Nov 25(F)–Nov 26(S) www.secretjewelrygarden.com

Turtles Webb #55, Dec 14(W)–Dec 23(F) TurtlesWebb.com

Wiwat Kamolpornwijit #43, Dec 18(Su)–Dec 23(F) kamolpornwijit.com

PAINTING A & M Goldfarb #27, Dec 1(Th)–Dec 8(Th) Golshah Agdasi #43, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) Joel Traylor Art #51, Dec 8(Th)–Dec 11(Su) #17, Dec 16(F)–Dec 19(M) joeltraylor.com

Jonathan Blum Portraits #33, Dec 9(F)–Dec 23(F) Jonathanblumportraits.com

Joseph Snyder #46, Dec 9(F)–Dec 18(Su)

facebook.com/joseph.h.snyder.9

Kessler Art #51, Dec 16(F)–Dec 23(F) kesslerart.com

Marcella Kriebel Art & Illustration #13, Dec 11(Su)–Dec 17(S) marcellakriebel.com

Quest Skinner #33, Nov 25(F)–Dec 8(Th) questskinner.com

Rayhart #60, Dec 9(F)–Dec 15(Th) worksofrayhart.com

The Lavender Whim #53, Nov 29(T)–Dec 3(S)

etsy.com/shop/thelavenderwhim

Thomas Bucci #29, Nov 30(W)–Dec 11(Su) thomasbucci.com

Tsolmon-Art #4, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) tsolmonart.com

Turbopolis #61, Dec 20(T)–Dec 23(F) turbopolis.com

Washington Watercolors #17, Nov 25(F)–Dec 9(F) marybelcher.com

PRINTMAKING Cherry Blossom Creative #21, Dec 15(Th)–Dec 23(F) cherryblossomcreative.com

EWBA #11, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) ewba.net

Fancy Seeing You Here #20, Dec 2(F)–Dec 8(Th) fancyseeingyouhere.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Avner Ofer Photography #41, Dec 1(Th)–Dec 23(F) avnerofer.com

Chandler Art and Images #22, Dec 16(F)–Dec 20(T) Drew Smith Photography #5 Dec 2(F)–Dec 23(F) drewsmithphoto.com

Italy In Color #19, Dec 2(F)–Dec 4(Su) #20, Dec 9(F)–Dec 11(Su) italyincolor.com

Joe Shymanski #50, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) joeshymanski.com

Peter Tomlinson Photography #61, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) #13, Dec 18(Su)–Dec 23(F) photosbypjt.com

Tom Wachs Photography #5, Nov 25(F)–Dec 1(Th) #14, Dec 11(Su)–Dec 14(W) tomwachs.com

Grey Moggie Press #20, Dec 2(F)–Dec 8(Th) greymoggie.com

JPOP Studios #59, Nov 27(Su)–Nov 29(Tu) jpopstudios.com

Katharine Watson #28, Nov 28(M)–Dec 12(M) katharinewatson.com

Miks Letterpress + #60, Nov 25(F)–Dec 2(F) mikspress.com

Where In The World Books #20, Dec 12(M)–Dec 15(Th) whereintheworld.global

SOAPS & CANDLES BAMI Products #55, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) #59, Dec 15(Th)–Dec 23(F)

Geeda’s Hand Poured Candles #24, Dec 12(M)–Dec 15(Th) candlesbygeeda.com

Handmade Habitat #27, Nov 25(F)–Nov 27(Su) handmadehabitatliving.com

Joyful Bath Co. #26, Dec 9(F)–Dec 15(Th) joyfulbathco.com

The Capital Candy Jar #63, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) thecapitalcandyjar.com

Undone Chocolate #31, Nov 25(F)–Dec 1(Th) undonechocolate.com

Whisked! #62, Dec 10(S)–Dec 11(Su) #62, Dec 17(S)–Dec 18(Su)

Maré Naturals #53, Dec 3(S)–Dec 4(Su)

whiskeddc.com

marenaturals.com

TEXTILES

Michalene’s Goat Milk Spa Soap #60, Dec 3(S)–Dec 4(Su) MichalenesSoap.com

Pure Palette #60, Nov 25(F)–Dec 2(F) purpalette.etsy.com

SPECIALTY FOOD Cardinal Chocolates, Inc. #15, Nov 25(F)–Dec 1(Th) #15, Dec 7(W)–Dec 23(F) cardinalchocolates.com

Chocotenango #62, Dec 10(S)–Dec 18(Su) chocotenango.com

Hello Cocoa #55, Dec 11(Su)–Dec 13(T)

Janice’s Table #53, Nov 25(F)–Nov 28(M) janicetable.com

Naked Decor #37, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) nakeddecor.com

range of emotion #36, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F) rangeofemotion.com

WOODWORKING Blue Ridge Cutting Board Company #31, Dec 9(F)–Dec 23(F) facebook.com/ BlueRidgeCuttingBoardCompany

bamiproducts.net

hellococoachocolate.com

Coastal Home & Body #49, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F)

J. Chocolatier #60, Dec 16(F)–Dec 23(F)

Tree-to-Art #44, Nov 25(F)–Dec 23(F)

coastalhomeandbody.com

jchocolatier.com

treetoart.com

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 23

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Season Sponsors: The Home Depot; Chevron

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Photo of Craig Wallace by Scott Suchman.

PULITZER PRIZE PHOTOGRAPHS GALLERY

SHOP THE FINEST FLEA MARKET IN DC

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Now Open See every Pulitzer Prize–winning photograph and listen to the photographers reveal the stories behind some of the most famous images of all time. This updated exhibit marks the 100th anniversary of the Pulitzer Prizes.

Nikon is the exclusive sponsor of the Pulitzer Prize Photographs Gallery.

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24 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

NEWSEUM.ORG 555 PENNSYLVANIA AVE., N.W., WASHINGTON, D.C. TripAdvisor’s 2016 Travelers’ Choice Top 25 Museums in the U.S.

MUSIC SCHEDULE

The Market Stage presents a musical feast of more than 65 shows by some of the area’s best blues, rock, jazz, soul, country, world, and contemporary artists. And of course, it wouldn’t be a holiday market without some of your favorite seasonal standards. Check the daily performance schedule below, and find more information about all of the performers in the Musical Entertainment section of DowntownHolidayMarket.com.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Patty Reese Music Pilgrim Trio Stacy Brooks Band

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10 Acoustic Roots World Music Blues, Jazz

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Big Lunch Ruthie & the Wranglers DC Mudd Karen Collins & Backroads Nina Casey & Jeff Clair Gina DeSimone & the Moaners Jim Stephanson The Lovejoy Group

American Songbook Holiday, Jazz

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Junior Cline Duo Blanco y Negro de Cuba

R&B, Soul Cuban Traditions

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

John G. Lewis/ElectroKoustic 49 Cent Dress

Jazz, R&B Classic Rock

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 1 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Billy Coulter Duo Seth Kibel & Sean Lane

Roots Rock, Pop Jazzy Holiday

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Flo Anito Ian Walters Andra Faye & Scott Ballantine Esther Haynes & JC VeVe Project Natale Alpha Dog Acoustic Blues

Patty Reese Andra Faye & Scott Ballantine

Acoustic Roots Blues, Roots, Jazz

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Maureen Andary Bill Baker Band

Jazz, Pop Original Country Blues

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 7 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Dave Chappell & Dave Hartge Surf Jaguars Flo Anito Seth Kibel & Sean Lane Carly Harvey & Sol Roots Jim Stephanson Janine Wilson & Max Evans

The 19th Street Band Runakuna

Folk Rock, Americana Andian Traditions

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Patty Reese Judge Smith

Acoustic Roots Pop, Roots Rock

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Dave Chappell & Dave Hartge Stacy Brooks Band

Roots Guitar Blues, Jazz

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

John G. Lewis/ElectroKoustic The Rock-A-Sonics

Jazz, R&B Rockabilly

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Jim Stephanson Bruce Hutton The Sweater Set

American Songbook Appalachian Folk, Blues Folk Pop

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Snakehead Run Lilt Kiss and Ride

Jugband Blues Irish, Step Dancers Blues, Jazz, Soul

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Blue Panamuse Christylez Bacon Los Caribbeat

Blues, Swing Progressive Hip Hop Caribbean

12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Jonny Grave Cooking With Gas

Slide Blues Blues. Swing, Jazz

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

John G. Lewis/ElectroKoustic The 19th Street Band

Jazz, R&B Folk Rock, Americana

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 21 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Dave Chappell & Dave Hartge Jonny Grave Billy Thompson

Roots Guitar Slide Blues Soul Infused Gumbo

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22 Maureen Andary Carly Harvey & Sol Roots King Street Bluegrass

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Jazzy Pop Jazzy Holiday

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 23

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Roots Guitar Surf, Classic Rock

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Celtic, Jazz, Fusion Holiday, Jazz Latin Jazz

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19

Denyse Pearson & Her Gentlemen of Distinction Jazz Standards Trio Caliente Latin The Fuss Ska, Reggae

MONDAY, DECEMBER 5 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Abigail Palmer & Eric Selby The Lovejoy Group Afro Nuevo

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18 Swing, Jazz Jazz Blues

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 Jazzy Pop Updated Classics Blues, Roots, Jazz

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Original Country Blues Blue Eyed Soul Updated Classics

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12 Honky Tonk American Songbook, Blues Swing, Blues

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28 12:00–2:00 5:00–7:00

Bill Baker Band Fast Eddie & the Slowpokes Ian Walters & Friends

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 11 Americana Roots Old School Blues

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27 12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Roots, Blues, Jazz American Songbook Original Roots Rock

12:00–2:00 2:30–4:30 5:00–7:00

Music Pilgrim Trio OCEAN Celtic Quartet Ian Walters & Friends

Jazz, Pop Jazz, Blues Bluegrass and More World Music Celtic, British Isles Updated Classics

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 25

Arlene Shechet From Here On Now THROUGH MAY 7, 2017

Contemporary art projects that engage with the art and spaces in The Phillips Collection

Intersections is presented by

95TH ANNIVERSARY

1600 21st Street, nw | Washington, dc PhillipsCollection.org |

26 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Additional support is provided by Phillips Collectors’ Forum members.

Arlene Shechet, Seeing Asteroids, 2016. Glazed ceramic and steel;For the Forest, 2016. Glazed ceramic and steel, Courtesy of the artist and Sikkema Jenkins & Co.; Morris Louis, Seal, 1959, Acrylic on canvas, The Phillips Collection, Gift of Marcella Brenner Revocable Trust, 2011 © 1993 Marcella Louis Brenner. Photo: Lee Stalsworth

DCFEED

Fabio and Maria Trabocchi’s latest restaurant, Sfoglina, is now open in Van Ness (4445 Connecticut Ave. NW) serving eight comforting bowls of pasta and more.

Economy of Scales ProFish readies for its next phase of sustainable business in Ivy City.

Step onto the ProFish warehouse floor and you’ll spot area fishermen dropping off Styrofoam boxes of still-squirming seafood and longtime workers shoveling ice or properly bleeding fish. But what’s impossible to see with the naked eye is the sheer size of ProFish’s operations.

Partners Greg Casten and Tim Lydon opened the seafood wholesaler in 1988, and the Ivy City company now boasts more than $60 million in annual sales. In more tangible terms, ProFish sells about 100,000 pounds of salmon a week, offers more than 1,500 products, and services 3,000 customers from New York to Virginia Beach—all in about 14,000 square feet.

But that’s about to change. Ivy City Partners, which includes ProFish, has been awarded a city contract to develop the historic Alexander Crummell School, which will enable the company to stay put and more than double its square footage.

Lydon says the company reached a tipping point about 10 years ago when it needed more space to accommodate its growing business but desperately wanted to stay in the District. “Being in D.C., I think that separates us,” he says. “We are Washington’s only seafood wholesaler.”

It’ll take years for ProFish to migrate to its allotted underground space in the old school, but Lydon is patient. He says it’s fulfilling “to know that … our entire career will be in one location, one city block with expansion, with modernization.”

City officials say Ivy City Partners was selected in part because ProFish’s priorities align with the current administration’s goals of local job growth and sustainability.

“We were the first to even think about this,” says John Rorapaugh, ProFish’s sustainability director of 13 years. Its longstanding ecofriendly practices include sustainable and domestic sourcing and zero waste.

A staggering 90 percent of the seafood Americans consume is imported. “The question you want to ask a seafood wholesaler is how much domestic versus imported do you

Young & hungrY

sell?” Rorapaugh says.

“I guarantee you that since the country is 90 percent imported, m o s t s e afood companies are going to be 90 percent imported as well.”

High-end restaurants like Sushi Taro and Kaz Sushi Bistro, whose source-conscious chefs use fish imported from Japan, aren’t the problem. Instead, it’s casual, high-volume restaurants that use untraceable commodity fish that are concerning.

“When you have a fishery out of Micronesia or India, there’s slave labor involved and there are models of piracy,” Rorapaugh says. He describes harrowing scenarios in which unscrupulous ship captains promise men work for a week then keep them at sea for six months before dropping them off somewhere without pay. “This happens all the time—you see machine guns and stuff on these boats.”

Consuming imported seafood also comes with other risks, like not knowing whether products are safe or whether they are the result of overfishing. That’s why ProFish only offers 40 percent imported seafood, most of which comes from countries with protections similar to the U.S. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) manages every domestic fishery on the sustainable level, “which means there is no overfishing in the United States,” Rorapaugh says.

Domestic, especially local, seafood is also preferable because it requires less fuel. A small local fishing boat that turns off its motor while catching only desired species is vastly more sustainable than big global fisheries that use multiple vessels, cast huge nets, and cover 400 miles.

End consumers of ProFish products can even learn how their food was sourced. Rorapaugh

coaches restaurants on traceability, providing scannable “fish print” cards that show information about the fishing vessel, captain, water source, and transport to ProFish.

ProFish not only works closeJohn Rorapaugh and ly with NOAA, Ivy City Smokehouse but it was also Chef Antonio Bollera one of the first East Coast fish wholesalers to tap into Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch program, which designates seafood as green (best choices), yellow (good alternatives), and red (species to avoid) to better inform consumers and businesses.

Until five years ago, Seafood Watch had tilefish on its red list, but it based that designation solely on Pacific/Gulf of Mexico tilefish. “The West Coast and Gulf are 10 times more polluted with mercury than the East Coast,” Rorapaugh explains. Tilefish eat shellfish, which are known to contain mercury. “So all these fisherman up and down the East Coast were like, ‘Monterey Bay is killing us.’”

Rorapaugh authored a report about it, which led to separate designations for Pacific and Atlantic tilefish, the latter now among Rorapaugh’s favorite products.

While ProFish has been a leader in sustainable fishing, its history isn’t perfect. In 2010, the company was sentenced to three years’ probation and fined more than $575,000 for its role in a scandal that involved purchasing illegally harvested striped bass (rockfish). Lydon received 21 months in prison and former fish buyer Benjamin Cough received 15.

“It was a definitely a lesson” Rorapaugh says. “We have teams now to inspect everything and make sure it’s done legally, which helps the state and country because the system was broken.” He says the case changed the way Maryland handles striped bass fishing and the way the company works with fisherman more generally to ensure they aren’t gaming the sysLaura Hayes

By Laura Hayes

tem without ProFish’s knowledge.

For ProFish, sustainability isn’t limited to what happens on the water. Its green practices extend to when fish arrive in Ivy City. Most notably, ProFish has been a zero-waste business for a decade. ProFish uses whole fish, 30 to 40 percent of which are filleted and sold to chefs. For most companies, the rest of the carcass is waste. “But 10 years ago we started collecting them and selling them to a dog and cat food company,” Rorapaugh explains. “That’s eight million pounds that we didn’t landfill per year over eight years, or 80 million total.”

Starting in 2017, ProFish will diversify how it uses discarded fish carcasses. It’s working with the University of Maryland to develop a fishwaste fertilizer—literally bringing surf to turf.

There was already a patent for single-species fish fertilizer, so ProFish secured one for multispecies. A good portion of the Crummell School facility will likely be allocated to producing it.

It has also innovated how to use Styrofoam containers, purchasing a $100,000 polystyrene Styrofoam densifier that dramatically shrinks the environmental evil. A recycling company then converts the product into picture frames and doorframes.

Del Campo Chef Victor Albisu, who has been a ProFish customer for years, says the food industry has taken notice of these best practices. “John’s been somebody plugged into the chef community in an authentic way because he’s extremely knowledgeable,” he says. “Not to overstate it, but they’ve become a beacon. If a product has their blessing, you feel pretty confident serving it.”

But there are still some chefs who look only at the bottom line. “When you go meet a chef and he says, ‘Shit you’re too high, you’re three bucks higher,’ are you comparing apples to apples?” Rorapaugh says. “Is it a Florida gulf shrimp or is it an Indonesian pond shrimp raised under who-knows what conditions?”

But he believes pressure from consumers will force their hands in the coming years.

Albisu also appreciates the company’s philanthropic spirit. In addition to supplying product for various charity events, ProFish has its own non-profit, Charity Off The Hook.

“Every month we pick a charity and give them a percentage of profits from invasive species sales,” Rorapaugh says, pointing to Northern snakehead and blue catfish. Beneficiaries have included Miriam’s Kitchen, Brainfood, and DC Central Kitchen. In five years he hopes to have 40 charities “in the family.”

“You’re building a stronger environment around philanthropy,” Rorapaugh says.

“Nobody writes philanthropy into their business model, but if you look at our business plan, it’s in there now.”

CP

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 27

DCFEED Grazer

what we ate last week: Sweetbread bolognese with veal jus, celeriac, and horseradish tagliatelle Greek salad, and orzo, $22, Blue Duck Tavern.

Satisfaction level: 5 out of 5. what we’ll eat next week: Goshnan Uyghur-style pizza stuffed with beef, onions, and red peppers, sherry cream, and Parmesan, $19, Dolan Uyghur Restaurant. Excitement level: 4 out of 5.

Petworthy

In case you blinked, seven restaurants opened in Petworth in 2016. Not bad for a neighborhood that gets treated like the second-cousin-once-removed compared to foodie titans like Shaw or Navy Yard, which are treated like a first-born son. Next time you pop up -Laura Hayes to Petworth, know what to try.

Wood-fired p ie drinking cock s + empanadas + easytails + strolle rs Timber Pizz a Co. (809 Up = shur St. NW) Ceviche + pisco + tortas + New W orld Ruta del Vino (8 00 Upshur St. NW wine + first kisses = )

All-day breakfas t+ Slim’s Diner (420 time travel + ice cream floats + patty melts = 1 Georgia Ave. NW )

Sushi + hipst er Himitsu (828 s + fried chicken + fancy co Upshur St. N cktails + No re W) servations = Soup dumplings + bo ba tea + wi-fi + $10 Sin gapore Slings = Ten Tigers Parlour (38 13 Georgia Ave. NW) Intricate cocktails ($9 -$14) + deviled eggs + Miller High Life + happ Hank’s Cocktail Bar y hour = (819 Upshur St. NW)

Raclette + ho t chicken + b uild-your-ow Homestead n Old Fashion (3911 Georgia ed + PBR + p Ave. NW) atios =

’WichingHour

white bread, but it also comes off a little like cardboard. The pork needs less time in the fryer to avoid the leathery mouthfeel that comes from dry meat.

The Sandwich: Katsu Sandwich Where: Izakaya Seki, 1117 V St. NW Cost: $9.50 Stuffings: Breaded and fried pork cutlet, shaved cabbage, tonkatsu sauce Bread: Japanese pain de mie, similar to white sandwich bread Thickness: 2 inches Pros: The layered construction, with rich katsu-style pork, crunchy cabbage, and salty sauce, gives you the perfect combination of texture and flavor in every bite. In a city full of elaborate fried meat sandwiches piled high with top-

pings and oozing liquids, this simplified offering elevates the protein and uses the sauce sparingly so that it accents the pork flavor instead of obliterating it.

Cons: Both the bread and the pork feel slightly dry. This means that the bread is sturdy enough to contain all the ingredients without falling apart like traditional

28 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Sloppiness level (1 to 5): 1. Neatly cut into three thin slices (think tea sandwiches) and packed in a box, this sandwich makes for the perfect portable lunch.

Because the toppings are so minimal, nothing has the chance to fall out from between the slices of bread, leaving your hands and mouth free from mess.

Overall score (1 to 5): 4. If you want something fried that’s more refined than the buffalo chicken at your watering hole of choice, this is the sandwich for you. With a pork cutlet that’s slightly more moist, it’s a superb midday meal.

—Caroline Jones

BrewInTown The Public Option Winter Special Where in Town: The Public Option, 1601 Rhode Island Ave. NE Price: $7/16 oz.

Automatic for the People When The Public Option opened just over a year ago in the Langdon neighborhood, married owners Bill Perry and Cathy Huben garnered attention for banning tips. But there’s more to the cozy brewpub that feels like a neighborhood watering hole. It serves kolaches and stromboli, complimentary CheezIts, and occasionally hosts pop-ups.

Even though there are house brews, patrons seem just as content sipping everything from wine, whiskey, and draft cocktails to cans of beer-snob-offending selections like Bud Lite and Heineken. What’s really available here is an inviting setting to kill time with friends, proprietors included.

Winter Winner The Public Option can’t yet offer growlers to-go because they only produce a handful of kegs at a time, but that should change soon with the hiring of a second brewer, Tony Wood. You’ll want to immediately bring home the Winter Special—a complex, dark ale made with seven malts and three hops. The malts, primarily English Maris Otter, Pilsner, and Munich, are balanced with doses of Simcoe, Amarillo, and Citra hops. Caramel and candied orange peel aromas give way to biscuit, toffee, and brown sugar flavors. A bit of chocolate malt adds hints of unsweetened cocoa and roasted barley. As it warms, bitter citrus characteristics become more pronounced. At about 7 percent alcohol, Winter Special is rich yet drinkable—a heaven-sent elixir for the colder months.

—Tammy Tuck

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FREE CONCERTS! National Symphony Orchestra comes to Southeast and Southwest DC!

January 3–9, 2017 FREE, NO TICKETS REQUIRED Free online reservations are recommended for these concerts. Seating is limited and on a

The Public Theater production of

THE GABRIELS

first-come, first-served basis.

ARENA STAGE

Jan. 4 at 7:30 p.m. OPENING EVENT

BALLOU HIGH SCHOOL

Jacomo Bairos, conductor | Black Violin Jan. 6 at 7 p.m. COMMUNITY CONCERT

TOWN HALL EDUCATION ARTS RECREATION CAMPUS

Jacomo Bairos, conductor | Christylez Bacon and Wytold Jan. 7 at 2 p.m. FAMILY CONCERT BLACK VIOLIN

CHRISTYLEZ BACON AND WYTOLD

Election Year in the Life of One Family A three-play cycle written and directed by Richard Nelson

EVEN MORE FREE CONCERTS Featuring NSO musicians in various combinations playing at Anacostia Community Museum, Blind Whino, Capitol Hill Arts Workshop, The Corner Store, East City Bookshop, Francis A. Gregory Neighborhood Library, Hill Center at the Old Naval Hospital, Historic Congressional Cemetery, Holiday Inn Capitol, Mr. Henry’s Restaurant, Parklands-Turner Neighborhood Library, Westminster Presbyterian Church and many more locations!

Full schedule and RSVP information at nationalsymphony.org/IYN David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of the NSO.

NSO In Your Neighborhood: SE/SW is sponsored by Wells Fargo.

The National Symphony Orchestra’s Community Engagement Program is made possible through the generosity of Mrs. Irene Pollin.

Additional support is provided by Linda and Tobia Mercuro, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Paul M. Angell Family Foundation, and Tina and Albert Small, Jr.

NSO In Your Neighborhood: SE/SW will be supported, in part, by the National Endowment for the Arts

January 7–22 | Theater Lab Performance schedule Weekends offer you the chance to experience a unique marathon performance of all three plays in one day. Tickets are available for one of these marathons or for individual performances that fit your schedule. Showtimes: Tue.-Thu. at 8 p.m., Sat. & Sun. marathons begin at 1:30 p.m. (Hungry at 1:30 p.m., What Did You Expect? at 4:15 p.m., Women of a Certain Age at 8 p.m.)

TICKETS ON SALE NOW! KENNEDY-CENTER.ORG | (202) 467-4600 Tickets also available at the Box Office.

Groups call (202) 416-8400.

For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540.

30 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Theater at the Kennedy Center is made possible by

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SLEIGHER

Story of His Life

Jeff Simmermon left D.C. almost a decade ago to be a storyteller, but to record his first comedy album, he’s coming home. Sort of.

By Chris Klimek A couple of years ago, Jeff Simmermon’s grocery bags tore open on the subway.

It wasn’t the sort of event that would rate as seismic in anybody’s life. It certainly didn’t for the 40-year-old Simmermon, who in the last eight years has had his fair share of life-shaking events: He lost his left testicle to cancer, launched a performing career and appeared on This American Life, got married, quit a six-figure white-collar job to pursue comedy full-time, and got divorced. But when Simmermon turned that anecdote about the grocery bags—and the weirdly civil shouting match that followed—into a five-minute tale at a Moth “GrandSlam” storytelling competition in Brooklyn last year, he imbued it with all the humor, surprise, and observation due a matter of life and death.

A YouTube clip of the story earned more than 100,000 views.

It also helped persuade Comedy Dynamics—a “comedy production-and-distribution” outfit that’s put out specials and albums by blue-chip comics like Louis CK, Aziz Ansari, and Kevin Hart—to invest in Simmermon. Though he moved from D.C. to New York almost a decade ago, he has chosen the Black Cat as the venue for his debut album. On Dec. 15, he’ll perform two hour-long sets at the club’s 200-capacity Backstage room, which will be edited for release in the spring.

Disclosure: I’ve been friendly with Simmermon for 30 years, since we were in the same summer kiddie-theater production of You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown in 1986. As adults, our paths have crossed infrequently, but I have been pleased to see a dude I always liked develop into an artist I admire.

The Black Cat, where he has headlined story shows on several occasions in the last five years, has always been an aspirational lodestar for him. As a high schooler in Norfolk, Virginia, he fell hard for Bad Brains and Fugazi and the Dischord Records lineup: “That was just rock and roll,” he says. While in college in Harrisonburg, and in the half-decade he lived in Richmond afterwards, he made frequent road trips to the club. After a 2003 walkabout in Australia that provided the grist for one of his best stories, a tale about his brief career as an assistant to a kangaroo hunter, he moved to D.C in 2004. It was the era of blogs, and Simmermon was producing an average of three essays per week for his: And I Am Not Lying.

In the years since, he’s come to appreciate the place as much as a performer as he did as a fan. After relocating to Brooklyn in 2008, he discovered that mining his experiences for laughter and applause from the stage was more rewarding than cranking out blog posts. And I Am Not Lying was reborn as a semi-regular live storytelling-and-burlesque series with collaborators Brad Lawrence and Cyndi Freeman. When Simmermon brought the lineup down for its Black Cat debut in 2011, proprietor Dante Ferrando worried that the “burlesque” part might run afoul of Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration rules.

“Instead of just saying no, he spent an hour on the phone with

me while we figured out how much of Cyndi’s breast would have to stay covered by a very particular kind of tassel in order to meet the legal obligation of his liquor license,” Simmermon recalls.

“That’s huge to me.”

Though he’ll perform material that’s been thoroughly roadtested, he expects that recording in the District will give him a fresher, friendlier room. “Per capita, there are way more people more hungry for new stuff and willing to gamble $15 on a person that hasn’t appeared on television,” than in New York, he says.

Because D.C. isn’t a comedy mecca, he doesn’t have to contend with distracted scenesters who may only have turned up because they heard a rumor that Amy Schumer or Chris Rock might drop in. That’s more of a concern since he’s decided to realign his focus from the nurturing, sweater-vested world of storytelling to the more cutthroat realm of stand-up.

“Storytelling people are a lot nicer than comedy club people,” says Jennifer Hixson, senior producer of The Moth and co-host of its radio show and podcast, The Moth Radio Hour.

She’s coached Simmermon for as long as he’s been performing. “With comedy, people have their arms folded. ‘Okay, make me laugh.’”

She’s talking about the audiences, but Jeff extends the observation to performers. The storytelling community is friendly and nurturing because, Mike Daisey or Henry Rollins aside, there’s no quitting your day job when your art is the art of the monologue.

“Once you remove any hope of ever succeeding in any tangible way or ever making money, everyone gets incredibly nice,” Simmermon says.

Though after college he performed in a band whose lineup included live chickens—the subject of another oft-told story— he was set on his current path when a pal from his years in Richmond who’d moved to New York before he did brought him to

HO HO HOLY SHIT! The Sleigher— our annual holiday music column— has returned. washingtoncitypaper.com/arts

an open-mic Moth “StorySLAM” in 2008. “It was like watching the sword come out of the stone,” he remembers.

He began performing as often as he could, and he had success relatively early. He advanced to The Moth’s championship-round “GrandSlam” stage in 2009, where he lost the story contest. But his tale—about defending his younger sister from an abusive high school boyfriend via unconventional means—caught the ear of Seth Lind, who at the time was hosting a different weekly live storytelling series called Told.

Lind had the same day job then that he does now: director of operations for This American Life, the popular (mostly) nonfiction radio magazine that claims an audience of 4.6 million listeners per week via radio and podcast. A recording of Simmermon’s story was featured on the 2009 episode “Pro Se.” Host Ira Glass took the unusual step of interviewing him about the story in the studio afterward.

Lind remembers that Simmermon was an imposing figure on stage, not least for his appearance: 6’2” and north of 200 lbs., with a large, bald, egg-shaped head and a bushy beard. He dressed memorably, too.

“Jeff is someone who takes style seriously in a way that most performers don’t,” Lind says, noting that he’s typically seen him perform in either a three-piece suit or a flamboyant cowboy shirt.

“Powerful and intense,” is how he characterizes Simmermon’s stage demeanor, observing that a lot of stage storytellers either favor or default to a quieter approach, not just in volume but in tone. If you’ve ever attended a SpeakeasyDC or Story District event, or one of The Moth’s DC story slams, you’ll know what he means. Lots of beards. Lots of slouching.

But even before he decided to reposition himself as a comic, Simmermon’s performing demeanor was calibrated to demand attention. “He’ll kind of go off on a tear,” Lind says. “He’ll amp up his Southern accent a little bit, particularly if the story takes place in the south. I thought that was smart, particularly in NYC, because it feels like that gives you some legitimacy if you’re talking about the south.”

Hixson, who has coached hundreds of storytellers in her 17 years with The Moth, says that Simmermon’s performing persona, while practiced, is still recognizable as the person he is offstage. “You see some [storytellers] where you just know they would never say it that way ordinarily,” she says. Hixson typically listens to Moth GrandSLAM performers tell their stories by phone and offers coaching. She recalls that before his first GrandSLAM Simmermon kept calling her back to audition refinements. “He’s a very hard worker,” she says. “He’ll debate a word choice. That’s fun for me.”

Details matter.

“I have this huge chip on my shoulder about being perceived as comedy,” Simmermon says. “I hope this album will establish me as a comic who happens to tell stories, rather than a storyteller who happens to be funny. There’re a lot of storytellers who hide behind the lower standards of entertainment that the storytelling scene has. But no one is going to hire a babysitter because I had some exciting revelations in my third act,” he says.

It’s a line I know he’s workshopped because he’s said it to me before. It’s not extempore. But it’s exactly right. And now it’s on record.

Jeff Simmermon performs with Anthony Devito and Gastor Almonte at the Black Cat on Thurs., Dec. 15. 1811 14th St. NW. $15. washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 31

Galleries

Slow Burn

Bill Viola’s slow and deliberate video works are a sober reflection of our culture in crisis.

Bill Viola: The Moving Portrait At the National Portrait Gallery to May 7, 2017

By Kriston Capps Try To waTch “The Raft” without picturing the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe at the Dakota Access Pipeline protests. It’s not possible, not in the waning days of 2016. Bill Viola’s 2004 video masterwork may predate the North Dakota standoff by more than a decade, but it reads like an artist’s visceral response to the crisis.

“The Raft” pictures about 20 people, of various races, ethnicities, and ages gathered together in a nondescript space. They could be anyone and anywhere; they assemble, as if they were all waiting for the same delinquent

vey of dread menace at the National Portrait Gallery. Water factors into nearly all his works, and, in the best of them, water is an insensate force, the medium and the message. “The Raft” is Viola’s best work, and in 2016, a time of rising anxiety over authority, it has taken on a sudden new urgency.

Once the assault begins, most of the figures lose coherence, appearing only as grasping arms or cantilevered legs cutting through the foamy maelstrom. One silver-haired woman is utterly blown off her feet. She does not rise again. The crushing waters quickly overwhelm the visual plane of the video —even in slow motion. Drenched figures foregrounded in the cacophony perform a morality play, trying at times to support somebody else but more often clobbering one another by accident. A man tries in vain to grasp a purse lost by a woman in

the rage in the heady art-market days leading up to the financial collapse; see also Sam Taylor-Johnson’s “That White Rush” (2007), a rather literal video depiction of the story of Leda and the Swan.

Nearly a decade after the collapse, however, the waters have yet to recede. Austerity and authoritarianism have compounded the global financial catastrophe. Not many artworks that in their own time looked fashionable feel so prescient. In 2016, a more appropriate antecedent to “The Raft” may be Picasso’s “Guernica.”

The Moving Portrait illustrates how a savvy curator with precise timing can reframe a wellknown artist’s work. Viola’s work, which is so slow and deliberate as to nearly be durational performance art, arrives as an expression of inchoate distress. National Portrait Gallery cu-

the melee. It’s a small but wrenching civic gesture in the face of calamity.

With “The Raft,” as in most of his works, Viola cites an elemental piece of art history: in this case Théodore Géricault’s painting, “The Raft of the Medusa (1818–19).”

That painting depicts the aftermath of the wreck of a French naval frigate, with bodies clamoring for purchase on a makeshift raft as waves crash around them. Reconfiguring old masterworks in new media was all

rator Asma Naeem has discovered something unexpectedly relevant under the surface of Viola’s brooding water works—the viewer, perhaps, gasping for air.

In the video diptych “Surrender (2001),” for example, two figures—a man and a woman—are connected at the waist across a horizontal plane, as if each is looking into his or her (opposite) reflection in a mirror. The figures slowly bend toward their reflective opposites, as if to kiss, but the narcissistic mo-

Scene from “The Raft”

by Bill Viola (2004)

bus. Instead they are met by the hose. In excruciatingly slow motion, percussive streams of water assault them from stage left and right, blowing them away, casting their bodies down, over, and across one another.

Just try to watch “The Raft” and imagine what this work meant before a crisis that gave the country mni wiconi—a Lakota phrase that means “water is life.”

Water is life and much more in Viola’s work, which is on view in The Moving Portrait, a sur-

32 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

ment is interrupted when the figures break the plane—not a mirror but a reflective pool.

Viola’s cinematic magic comes in transforming the plain into the extraordinary by simply slowing the speed of his videos to the pace of rolling amber. Post-baptism, the figures in “Surrender” sputter as anyone would after a dunk, but in Viola’s post-production magic, their faces are rendered with anguish and distorted by ripples along the surface.

Viola strives to depict universalities at the same time that he works to undermine them.

“Dolorosa (2000),” another diptych, comprises a portrait of a white woman alongside a portrait of an Indian man. Both are captured sobbing, but so slowly that it seems to take whole minutes for single tears to fall. In any other year, this piece might seem to gesture at the wholeness of the human experience, but recent events cast that project in doubt.

The Moving Portrait is not, of course, a summary statement about the election of Presidentelect Donald Trump. One of the more recent of Viola’s videos, “The Dreamers (2013),” a sequence of seven life-size, high-definition video portraits of people submerged underwater, reads like a non-sequitur in that context. The portraits are overly romanticized, like John Everett Millais’s Pre-Raphaelite painting of Ophelia (1851–52), although the everyman figures themselves could be your coworkers or neighbors. What makes Viola relevant today is the fluidity, ambiguity, and fragility he finds in people, not the better angels of our nature.

Viola uses water and time—elements that defract light and space— to destabilize his subjects. He distorts that surface between the viewer and subject, like drawing a curtain across the stage. This is important stuff, because the meaning of a portrait is never frozen within a subject. Viewers test the waters every time they come to it. The meaning of a portrait ripples with time.

So when viewers see the uncertainty underneath the surface of Viola’s portraits, they see a reflection of themselves.

The Raft really is a portrait of Standing Rock, insofar as it a sweeping statement about people, seemingly powerless in the face of history, struggling to assert the right to stand on their feet. It is simultaneously a portrait of people falling down.

The Portrait Gallery too rarely tackles such serious themes, as the museum did in 2010 with “Hide/Seek,” a show of queer portraiture that led to the most disturbing censorship inci- dent in the Smithsonian Institution’srecent history. “The Moving Portrait” shows how badly the nation needs artists to hold up a mirror, to show us more clearly—or at least with more urgency—for who we are. Viola’s survey demonstrates that America has never needed portraiture more.

CP 8th Street NW & F Street NW. Free. npg.si.edu.

FilmShort SubjectS

Once MOre, With Feeling La La Land

Directed by Damien Chazelle La La Land is not for the cynical. Whiplash writer-director Damien Chazelle’s dazzling, ambitious modern-day musical is fresh yet nostalgic, paying tribute to song-and-dance classics such as Singin’ in the Rain and Swing Time. Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling, pairing for the third time after Crazy, Stupid, Love and Gangster Squad, play a struggling actress and jazz musician who fall for each other after years of chasing their dreams in L.A. Their story is one of passion, purpose, and resolute optimism, even when the City of Angeles keeps beating them down.

After a “Presented in CinemaScope” title card that morphs from black and white into candied color, La La Land opens with the happiest traffic jam ever. The blaring horns of cars stuck on a Los Angeles freeway soon get overtaken by a musical number, with drivers and passengers for what looks like miles escaping their vehicles to cut an asphalt rug as they praise perhaps the city’s best quality in “Another Day of Sun.” When it ends, the impatient cacophony returns, with Mia (Stone) flipping off Sebastian (Gosling) when his long honk suggests she hasn’t hit her accelerator fast enough.

This is the couple’s first glimpse of each other, and though subsequent run-ins continue the antagonism—“There’s not a spark in sight,” Sebastian croons during their inaugural dance in the Hollywood Hills twilight— they might as well be shooting spitballs at each other in a playground. The pretense is dropped somewhat suddenly (a minor script quibble) when he visits her at the Warner Bros. lot coffee shop where she works and they go for a stroll, pausing now and then to watch a shoot or gaze at a setting used in Casablanca. “I love it,” Mia says wistfully after talking about why she wants to act. But, she admits, she hates jazz, which leads to Sebastian dragging her to

a club to ardently explain the art behind the New Orleans-born music and why it must be saved.

Their deification of each other’s respective art forms is thus firmly established. But Chazelle counters this with their every letdown, including Sebastian being fired from his club gig for not strictly playing holiday music (no one’s ever looked more miserable tinkling the ivories to “Deck the Halls”) and a montage of Mia’s kinda-terrible auditions. Yet they constantly encourage each other, except when Sebastian compromises on his goal of opening his own club to become the keys player in a lucrative, but ever-touring band. “Do you like the music you’re playing?” Mia asks him, incredulous over what she sees as selling out.

Of course, the topics of achieving success and the compromises that often come with it are paramount here—along with self-referential conversations about nostalgia versus novelty—but La La Land’s transportive reverie is its strength.

Linus Sandgren’s cinematography is breathtaking, surrounding the couple with multicolored sunsets, backdrops of Picasso-like paintings and streams that twinkle, and a magical, surrealistic scene in the Griffith Park Observatory during which Mia and Sebastian float while dancing among the stars. Mary Zophres’ costumes similarly pop off the screen, with Mia frequently outfitted in jewel-toned, vintage-style dresses.

The soundtrack by Justin Hurwitz, who also composed for Whiplash, is just as key in supporting the film’s exuberant, giddy core, though Mia’s late-chapter show-stopper, the soaring “Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” is more melancholic. Both Stone and Gosling are surprisingly adept musical performers, but in this transfixing scene, the range of emotions that Stone’s Mia runs through is remarkable and sets up the film’s bittersweet end.

That end, which takes place five years later, is mostly aching, but Chazelle punctuates it with a joyous mini movie about a road untraveled, with some shots that evoke 2012’s silent Best Picture Oscar winner The Artist. The closing credits revert to the CinemaScope era, noting that the film was “Made in Hollywood, USA.” At one point in La La Land, Mia is concerned that a one-woman play she’s written is too retro. “That’s the point,” Sebastian says.

And when she then wonders whether people will warm to it, his response feels like Chazelle’s attitude toward all the haters out there: “Fuck ‘em.”

—Tricia Olszewski La La Land opens Friday at the Angelika Film Center, Landmark E Street Cinema, and Landmark Bethesda Row. washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 33

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One cOuld be forgiven, 30 seconds or so into the opening title track of Strunkin’, for thinking that Leigh Pilzer was saluting the late Gerry Mulligan. Pilzer plays Jeru’s instrument, the baritone sax; the somersaulting licks with which she begins are remarkably like his; and she’s backed by drums (Sherrie Maricle), bass (Amy Shook), and trombone (Jen Krupa)—one of the lineups Mulligan used in his famed piano-less quartets. (In particular, Maricle’s playful brushwork rings true to the “cool jazz” style that Mulligan pioneered.)

It’s a ruse. For one thing, Jackie Warren’s sly piano drops in just past that 30-second mark.

But more importantly, Pilzer quickly lets her own voice on the bari shine through. Gruff and punchy, keeping to the low end, Pilzer’s got plenty to say—and says it throughout the record in growling epigrams. For that matter, her jazz isn’t terribly cool in temperament. Recorded live at this year’s Washington Women in Jazz Festival, Strunkin’ is straightforward and plenty melodic. But the playing styles of the individuals—and the swing they collectively build—are packed with fire and muscle, often deceptively so.

Take, for example, “It’s Anyone But You,” a Pilzer original rendered here as a samba. The rhythm section hints at the softness traditionally associated with that style, holding down the sprightly rhythm even as Pilzer trawls it like

a gravel collector. But they gain steam as they proceed: Maricle’s drums and Warren’s piano gain a slight uptick in volume between the theme and Pilzer’s solo, move like a train by the third bari chorus (with some added thickness from the kick drum), and are straight barreling by the midpoint of Krupa’s solo. Likewise, “Blue Moo,” with a whimsical long-note tune and gliding waltz, suggests a ballad but has too much propulsion to actually be one.

Krupa brings the aforementioned whimsy to her improvised melody, along with a touch of nostalgia, but tempers it with her inalienable power, and Warren, Shook, and Maricle follow gamely. Warren then adds a long solo that cannily balances lyrical subtleties with adrenaline bursts.

Not to say that subtlety is out of the question on Strunkin’: There is a legitimate ballad in “Miss Ally in Allyworld.” The composition itself (Pilzer’s) resembles Ellington’s “Sophisticated Lady” a bit too closely, but the band interprets it with sensitivity and ingenuity. Indeed, Warren’s solo is her triumph on the album: light, delicate figures that bloom into robust ones. There’s also “Thaddish,” a spry little shuffle at the midpoint of the album. Swing is palpable throughout, but it’s softshoe swing, and if Shook’s bass has a somewhat incongruent brawn, it also doesn’t miss a lithestep. (Neither does Pilzer, but of course in her case the brawn is entirely expected).

Still, the real fun comes when such nuances are swept aside. “Look Before You Lerp” and “Duel at Dawn” are old-fashioned blowing sessions. The latter, closing the album, finally gives Krupa and Pilzer—longtime collaborators—the chance to interact, bebop style.

They jab, thrust, parry, and cross; the winner?

Your ears.

—Michael J. West

CITYLIST

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Music

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CITY LIGHTS: Friday

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BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

Friday rock

Birchmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Carbon Leaf. 7:30 p.m. $35. birchmere.com.

SPACE HOOPTY

Black cat 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 667-4490. Harry & the Potters, Potter Puppet Pals, Draco & the Malfoys, Tonks & the Aurors, Tianna & the Cliffhangers, Blue Milk Run. 6 p.m. $20. blackcatdc.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700.

DeadPhish Orchestra, Talking Dreads. 9 p.m. $15. gypsysallys.com.

A HIP HOP, FUNK & AFRO FUTURISTIC SET with Baronhawk Poitier

iOta cluB & café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. The NRIs. 8:30 p.m. $12. iotaclubandcafe.com.

Holiday

FRIDAY NIGHTS, 10:30 - CLOSE

kennedy center terrace Gallery 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Sherrie Maricle and the DIVA Jazz Orchestra: Ella Wishes You a Swingin’ Christmas.

7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $26–$30. kennedy-center.org.

classical

kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. NSO Prelude. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

BRING YOUR TICKET

Martin GarriX

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

ElEctronic

Whatever other event you had planned for Friday night, it’s not as cool as seeing Martin Garrix live, according to DJ Mag. In October, the publication named the Dutch EDM artist 2016’s top DJ. Calvin Harris, Avicii, The Chainsmokers, and every other EDM personality you’ve ever heard of didn’t crack the top ten. As far as anyone knows, Garrix hasn’t dated Taylor Swift, and he’s only 20 years old, but he’s built an impressive resume. His hit “In the Name of Love,” featuring Bebe Rexha, currently sits at #28 on the Billboard Top 100 chart. Contrary to the usual EDM stereotype of masked, headphone-d loners, Garrix is cheerful, personable, and constantly smiling. He got his start in the genre when he tired of practicing guitar for his parents, so he’d record songs and play them back. By his late teens, a love of electronic music had blossomed into a career, and Garrix found himself touring the world with Justin Bieber. This kind of youthful joy will only stick around for a while, so catch Garrix while he’s still fresh and excited. Martin Garrix performs at 9 p.m. at Echostage, 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. Sold out. (202) 503-2330. echostage.com.

—Noa Rosinplotz

echOstaGe 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Martin Garrix. 9 p.m. Sold out. echostage.com.

dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Caveman, Active Bird Community, Sunbathers. 9 p.m. $12–$14. dcnine.com.

flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Pearson Sound, Lenny Posso, Tsurugi. 8 p.m. $8–$12. flashdc.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. White Ford Bronco. 9 p.m. $22. gypsysallys.com.

country

hill cOuntry BarBecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Kiti Gartner & The Deceits. 9:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Jazz

Bethesda Blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Landau Murphy Jr. 8 p.m. $35–$45. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Freddy Cole. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com.

9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Thievery Corporation. 8 p.m. Sold out. 930.com.

Funk & r&B

hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Faith Evans, L!ssen Band. 11:30 p.m. $45. thehowardtheatre.com.

saturday rock

acre 121 1400 Irving St. NW. (202) 328-0121. Sons of Grover. 9 p.m. Free. acre121.com.

Birchmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Southside Johnny & The Asbury Jukes with The Gary Douglas Band. 7:30 p.m. $39.50. birchmere.com.

hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Rasputina, Eliza Rickman, Aubreylyn. 8 p.m. $20–$25. thehowardtheatre.com. iOta cluB & café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. The Eli Cook Band, Anthony Pirog. 8:30 p.m. $15. iotaclubandcafe.com.

Holiday

dar cOnstitutiOn hall 1776 D St. NW. (202) 6284780. United States Navy Band. 3 p.m.; 8 p.m. Free. dar.org. kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washington presents A Family Christmas. 1 p.m. $20–$45. The Washington Chorus: A Candlelight Christmas. 4 p.m. $18–$72. kennedy-center.org.

kennedy center terrace Gallery 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Sherrie Maricle and the DIVA Jazz Orchestra: Ella Wishes You a Swingin’ Christmas.

7 p.m.; 9 p.m. $26–$30. kennedy-center.org. music center at strathmOre 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. National Philharmonic: Handel’s Messiah. 8 p.m. $48–$88. strathmore.org.

Club

TO GET A

FREE SCHAEFERS

RESURRECTION NEW YEAR’S DAY BRUNCH WITH DJ RUSSEL 11 - 5pm

Vocal kennedy center family theater 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Eamonn McCrystal & Chloë Agnew in Concert. 7:30 p.m. $70. kennedy-center.org. lincOln theatre 1215 U St. NW. (202) 888-0050.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington presents Naughty and Nice. 3 p.m.; 8 p.m. $25–$65. thelincolndc.com.

classical kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 8 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 35

Go-Go

hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Backyard Band, The What Band. 11 p.m. $30. thehowardtheatre.com.

SATURDAY - 7PM @ The Town Tavern ($8)

country

SUNDAY - 8PM @ The Petworth Citizen (Free show!)

Jazz

MONDAY - 8PM @ The Passenger (Free show!)

TUESDAY - 8.30PM @ The Bier Baron Tavern (Free show!)

WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY - 8PM @ The Town Tavern (Free show!)

WWW.CAPITALLAUGHS.COM FACEBOOK.COM/CAPITALLAUGHS TWITTER: @CAPITALLAUGHSDC

hill cOuntry BarBecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Jamie McLean Band. 9:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Freddy Cole. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The United States Coast Guard Dixieland Jazz Band. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washington presents A Choral Arts Christmas. 7 p.m. $15–$69. kennedy-center.org. music center at strathmOre 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. National Philharmonic: Handel’s Messiah. 3 p.m. $48–$88. strathmore.org.

Vocal

lincOln theatre 1215 U St. NW. (202) 888-0050.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington presents Naughty and Nice. 3 p.m. $25–$65. thelincolndc.com.

classical

kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. National Symphony Orchestra: Handel’s Messiah. 1 p.m. $15–$89. kennedy-center.org.

ElEctronic

Hip-Hop

flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Denis Kaznacheev, Raffi, Andy Grant, Mazi R, George K, DJ Soul, Pierre Reynolds. 8 p.m. $5–$15. flashdc.com.

World

9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Thievery Corporation. 8 p.m. Sold out. 930.com.

u street music hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Nightmares on Wax, Yola, Christine Mortiz. 10 p.m. $12. ustreetmusichall.com.

sunday rock

Galaxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. J. Flax and the Heart Attacks, Burnt Seeds. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

GospEl

kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Washington Performing Arts Gospel Choirs. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Holiday

Birchmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Lorrie Morgan’s Enchanted Christmas. 7:30 p.m. $45. birchmere.com. dar cOnstitutiOn hall 1776 D St. NW. (202) 6284780. United States Navy Band. 3 p.m. Free. dar.org.

fillmOre silver sprinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Ms. Lauren Hill, Seun Kuti.

7:30 p.m. $77. fillmoresilverspring.com.

BOssa BistrO 2463 18th St NW. 202-667-0088.

Subcontinental Groove. 9 p.m. Free. bossadc.com.

Jazz

Bethesda Blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Big NY & The Smooth Jazz All-Stars. 7:30 p.m. $30–$45. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Freddy Cole. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$35. bluesalley.com. the hamiltOn 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Kurt Elling, Till Bronner, Mark Meadows. 6:30 p.m. $27.75– $59.75. thehamiltondc.com. twins Jazz 1344 U St. NW. (202) 234-0072. Nicole Saphos Quartet. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $10. twinsjazz.com.

Monday rock

Galaxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Adjective Animal, Adverb/Adjective. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

CITY LIGHTS: saturday

ARCHIE’S BETTY: CELEBRATING A POP ICON AT 75

Archie Comics and its characters have inspired everything from a sitcom about a teenage witch to a pop song, “Sugar, Sugar,” that rings in the ears of listeners nearly 50 years after its first release. The Riverdale gang has its origins in real life—series creator Bob Montana based the characters on people he knew—and filmmakers Gerald Peary and Shaun Clancy wanted to know more about them. After all, this illustration style and obsession with American iconography inspired many of the pop artists who would go on to impact the art world in the mid20th century. Peary and Clancy’s detective work results in a so-called cinememoir, Archie’s Betty: Celebrating a Pop Icon at 75, which incorporates photos, home movies, and personal memories from those in the know. Over the decades, the series has evolved to include characters that reflect a changing world, but Archie, Betty, and Veronica remain the same wide-eyed teenagers readers first met in the 1940s. Fans looking for a dose of nostalgia should expect this documentary to fill the void. The film shows at 3:30 p.m. at the National Gallery of Art East Building Auditorium, 4th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue NW. Free. (202) 737-4215. nga.gov.

—Caroline Jones 36 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

JUST ANNOUNCED! I.M.P. & GOLDENVOICE PRESENT AN EVENING WITH

SIGUR RÓS .......................................................................... MAY 25

THISDECEMBER WEEK’S SHOWS MUSIC MAKES LIFEHALL BETTER PRESENTS A HOPE FOR HENRY BENEFIT U STREET MUSIC PRESENTS

Crash Boom Bang w/&That Lying Bitch & His Dream of Lions................... ThTh 228 Jai Wolf w/ Jerry Folk Chet Porter .............................................................

ALL GOOD PRESENTSw/ Mephiskapheles • Hub City Stompers • Loving Paupers .. F 23 The Pietasters ACTION HOUSE& VAPE AND ALL GOOD PRESENT Turkuaz The New Mastersounds ........................................................F 9 Big Something & Yo Big Fat Booty Band w/ Bencoolen .. Th Shooter Jennings & Mama’s Jason Boland ......................................................

Su29 11 The Oh Hellos Christmas Extravaganza JANUARY ............................................ Tu 13

On Sale Friday, December 16 at 10am

deadmau5........................................................................................ SAT APRIL 8 L METAT! FES

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Lettuce w/ TAUK .................................................................................... F 6 & Sa 7 Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven ................................................. Th 12 ALL GOOD PRESENTS TWO EVENINGS WITH Lotus Reduced-price two-night ticket available. ......................................... F 13 & Sa 14

M3 ROCK FESTIVAL FEATURING

Ratt featuring Pearcy, De Martini, Croucier • Kix • Loverboy • Cinderella’s Tom Keifer • Winger • Dokken and more!.......APRIL 28 & 29

M3 SOUTHERN ROCK CLASSIC FEATURING HERN SOUTOCK R !

E F ST

Lynyrd Skynyrd • Charlie Daniels Band • Outlaws • Molly Hatchet • Black Stone Cherry and more! .... APRIL 30 2 and 3-day Tickets On Sale now.

Wax Tailor w/ L’Orange ................................................................................. W 18 PHOX w/ Cuddle Magic..................................................................................... W 25 Luke Combs w/ Muscadine Bloodline .......................................................... Th 26

• For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com

Echostage • Washington, D.C.

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

The Infamous Stringdusters w/ The Brothers Comatose....................... F 27 Hot In Herre: 2000s Dance Party with DJs Will Eastman and Brian Billion ...................................................Sa 28

G. Love & Special Sauce w/ Ripe ............................................................. Su 29

Run The Jewels

w/ The Gaslamp Killer • Spark Master Tape • CUZ ..............................................JANUARY 12 2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

FEBRUARY

White Lies w/ VOWWS ..................................................................................... W 1 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Greensky Bluegrass w/ Fruition .............................................Th 2 • F 3 • Sa 4 AFI w/ Souvenirs................................................................................................ Tu 7 Sampha ............................................................................................................. W 8

EagleBank Arena • Fairfax, VA

BASTILLE .................................................................................... MARCH 28 Ticketmaster

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

BoomBox ........................................................................................................ F 10 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

The Wood Brothers w/ T Sisters ...............................................................Sa 11 Parquet Courts w/ Mary Lattimore...............................................................M 13 Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears.................................................... Tu 21

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

9:30 CUPCAKES

1215 U Street NW

Sucker for Love: A Valentine’s Day Special ........................... SAT FEBRUARY 11

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

Washington, D.C.

JUST ANNOUNCED! STORY DISTRICT’S

On Sale Friday, December 16 at 10am SPEND NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

White Ford Bronco: DC’s All 90s Band ................................... DECEMBER 31

STORY DISTRICT’S

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL Basecamp w/ Lauv ........................F JAN 27 Book of Love ..................................... Sa 11 Tim Presley & Cate Le Bon ........... Sa 28 Mickey Avalon .................................... F 17 The Griswolds w/ Dreamers ............... F 24 ALL GOOD PRESENTS Moon Hooch w/ Honeycomb ..........W FEB 1 Nikki Lane Escort .....................................................F 3 w/ Brent Cobb & Jonathan Tyler ............. M 27 • Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

Verizon Center • Washington D.C.

GREEN DAY w/ Against Me! ..................................................... MARCH 13 RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ..................................... APRIL 12 Ticketmaster

Top Shelf ....................................................................................................JANUARY 14

AN EVENING WITH

Tom Chaplin of Keane Playing songs from his new album plus Keane hits ......JANUARY 17

I.M.P. & ALL GOOD PRESENT

Leo Kottke & Keller Williams .................................................FEBRUARY 18 Hayes Grier & The Boys........................................................................FEBRUARY 20 MURRAY & PETER PRESENT

The Naked Magicians 18+ to enter. ..................................................FEBRUARY 24

AN EVENING WITH

Dawes ................................................................................................................ MARCH 8

TWO EVENINGS WITH

The Magnetic Fields:

50 Song Memoir............................. MARCH 18 (Songs 1-25) & MARCH 19 (Songs 26-50)

D NIGHT ADDED! FIRST NIGHT SOLD OUT! SECON

Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds : The Final Performances

with special guests Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin....................................................... MAY 4

AN EVENING OF STORYTELLING WITH

Garrison Keillor ........................................................................................... MAY 21 • thelincolndc.com •

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office.

9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

930.com

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 37

---------3701 Mount Vernon Ave. Alexandria, VA • 703-549-7500

1811 14 ST NW TH

www.blackcatdc.com @blackcatdc

DECEMBER SHOWS THU 15

JEFF SIMMERMON

FRI 16

HARRY & THE POTTERS’

FRI 16

BAH HUMBUG!

SAT 17

SAT 17

YULE BALL 2016 BURLESQUE (21+)

EIGHTIES MAYHEM

HOLIDAY EXTRAVAGANZA DANCE PARTY

COMMON PEOPLE

90S ALT POP & HIP HOP PARTY

For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter!

Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY Kurt & THE ASBURY JUKES Scott 18 LORRIE MORGAN’S

Dec 17

“Enchanted Christmas”

26

ALLISON HAYES CARLL MOORER

27&28 29

20TH ANNUAL HANK WILLIAMS TRIBUTE

feat. Cathy Fink & MarCy Marxer, Bill kirChen roBin & linda WilliaMs, PatriCk MCavinue, Mark sChatz

PIECES OF A DREAM

30

New Year’s Eve with

31

THE SELDOM SCENE -8pmLocust Honey String Band & Cabin Creek

SUN 18

ROCK’N’SHOP A ROCK’N’ROLL GARAGE SALE

Jan 6&7

THU 20

THE RADIOGRAPHERS

8

WED 21 RENT

PARTY

THU 22

DES DEMONAS

FRI 23

DARK & STORMY

DANCE / ELECTRO / RETRO

THU 29

GLOW END THEORY

FRI 30

CHURCH NIGHT (21+)

SAT 31

THE BLACK CAT

NYE BALL

FRI DEC 16

JUDY COLLINS

ROAM Winterfest 2017-7pm-

DAWN JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE LANDES

11&12

13&15

LYNCH STEPHEN "The My Old Heart Tour" EDDIE FROM OHIO

ANTHONY DAVID

16

with special guest

20& 21

CAROL RIDDICK

Kentucky RICKY SKAGGS &Thunder

22

THE ASSOCIATION

26

MAC McANALLY

JUNIOR BROWN

27 28

Scott Miller

THE FOUR BITCHIN’ BABES

29 PHIL VASSAR (Band)

TAKE METRO!

WE ARE LOCATED 3 BLOCKS FROM THE U STREET/CARDOZO STATION

TO BUY TICKETS VISIT TICKETFLY.COM

Holy slizz Holiday party

D.C.-based hip-hop crew the Washington Slizzards, are coming together for a third time to celebrate the holidays, the slizz life, and crew founder Ras Nebyu’s latest mixtape, Slizzatrism, for Holy Slizz 3 at U Street Music Hall. On its website, the crew describes slizzatrism as “the art of finessing good energy to work in one’s favor via pure intent, meditation, and the acknowledgement of the ancestors.” Hot off the heels of her latest EP, PHO, D.C. native Ari Lennox headlines the show with her soulful, ’70s-inspired R&B grooves. Nebyu, an Ethiopian-American rapper, showcases his worldly, trapped-out hip-hop stylings with frequent collaborator and party rocker DJ K-Meta. Joined by local artists and certified party starters DJ Kidd Marvel, Justin Rose, Farrah Flosscett, and Shiva, as well as a host of special guests, Holy Slizz 3 flaunts the District’s extraordinary talent and promises to bring in some excitement to a week filled with your typical holiday season music offerings. The show begins at 9 p.m. at U Street Music Hall, 1115 U St. NW. $15. (202) 588-1889. ustreetmusichall.com.

—Casey Embert

Holiday

kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washington presents A Choral Arts Christmas. 7 p.m. $15–$69. kennedy-center.org. music center at strathmOre 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. (301) 581-5100. The Washington Chorus: A Candlelight Christmas. 7:30 p.m. $18–$72. strathmore.org.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Dave Detwiler’s White House Band. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Iolani Stage Band. 6 p.m.

Free. kennedy-center.org.

tuEsday rock

Bethesda Blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. NRBQ. 8 p.m. $20–$25. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Black cat BackstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. The Radiographers, Fuzzqueen, Caz Gardiner.

7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com. the hamiltOn 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Los Lobos. 8 p.m. $49.75–$55. thehamiltondc.com.

Holiday

31

String FIVE FOR FIGHTING Quartet

Feb 3

MARSHALL CRENSHAW

Vocal

CLARE BOWEN

Hip-Hop

4

SAT DEC 31 THE BLACK CAT NYE BALL

Ayla Brown

CITY LIGHTS: sunday

& THE BOTTLE ROCKETS ‘star of Nashville’

9&10

D ERIC ROBERSON Maurice

11&12

WILL DOWNING

14

BURLESQUE-A-PADES

in LOVELAND 10th Anniversary Show!

38 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Washington Chorus: A Candlelight Christmas. 7 p.m. $18–$72. kennedy-center.org. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Encore Chorale. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org. fillmOre silver sprinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Lil Uzi Vert. 8 p.m. Sold out. fillmoresilverspring.com.

country

hill cOuntry BarBecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Scott Kurt Duo. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Benjie Porecki. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

Funk & r&B

hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Raheem DeVaughn & Friends. 8 p.m. $40–$80. thehowardtheatre.com.

WEdnEsday rock

Black cat BackstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Rent Party, Djembe Jones. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com.

Holiday

Bethesda Blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Christmas with Cassandra. 7 p.m.; 10 p.m. $49.50. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. A Very Jerry Christmas with Cris Jacobs and Friends.

8:30 p.m. $13–$15. gypsysallys.com. kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Washington Chorus: A Candlelight Christmas. 7 p.m. $18–$72. kennedy-center.org. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Listen Local First D.C. and The Holiday 9 Songwriter Showcase. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Hip-Hop

fillmOre silver sprinG 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Lil Uzi Vert. 8 p.m. Sold out. fillmoresilverspring.com.

country

the hamiltOn 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000.

Mark O’Connor featuring the O’Connor Band. 7:30 p.m. $20–$50. thehamiltondc.com.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Merlon Devine. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

ElEctronic

flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. The Him, Vania. 9 p.m. $10. flashdc.com.

Funk & r&B

Birchmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Mint Condition. 7:30 p.m. $79.50. birchmere.com. hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Darlene Love. 8 p.m. $45–$82.50. thehowardtheatre.com.

tHursday rock

9:30 cluB 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Crash Boom Bang, That Lying Bitch, His Dream Of Lions. 7 p.m. $15. 930.com.

Black cat BackstaGe 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Des Demonas, Jake Starr and the Deliciousness Fullness, Warm Sun. 7:30 p.m. $10. blackcatdc.com. dc9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Supply Records Label Night—5 Years of Supply with John Barera, René Audiard, Will Martin, Paul Morse. 9 p.m. $12. dcnine.com. iOta cluB & café 2832 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 522-8340. The Berlin Waltz. 8:30 p.m. $15. iotaclubandcafe.com.

Holiday

hOward theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899.

Jon B. 8 p.m. $29.50–$50. thehowardtheatre.com. kennedy center cOncert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Washington Chorus: A Candlelight Christmas. 7 p.m. $18–$72. kennedy-center.org. kennedy center millennium staGe 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Peace Ringers & Carol Ringers. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

country

hill cOuntry BarBecue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. The Highballers. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Theater

Black nativity This long-running musical by Langston Hughes celebrates the birth of Jesus and the holiday traditions of black Americans Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To Dec. 31. $30–$40. (202) 290-2328. anacostiaplayhouse.com.

BrOadway BOund 1st Stage presents the third play in Neil Simon’s Eugene trilogy, in which two brothers cope with family tragedy while trying to make their way as professional comedy writers. The Pulitzer Prize finalist is directed by Shirley Serotsky. 1st Stage.

1524 Spring Hill Road, McLean. To Dec. 18. $15–$30.

(703) 854-1856. 1ststagetysons.org. carOusel Arena’s annual holiday musical comes in the form of this Rodgers and Hammerstein classic about a bad boy and a good girl who fall in love, only to encounter great tragedy. Local favorites Nicholas Rodriguez and E. Faye Butler star in this favorite, which features songs including “If I Loved You” and “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 24. $64–$99. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. a christmas carOl Award-winning actor Tim Jansen stars as Ebenezer Scrooge in this adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic holiday tale set in contemporary America. Joe’s Movement Emporium. 3309 Bunker Hill Road, Mount Rainier. To Dec. 18. $10–$20.

(301) 699-1819. joesmovement.org.

ElEctronic

a christmas carOl Veteran local actor Craig Wallace takes on the role of Scrooge in this popular musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ tale about kindness and holiday cheer. Celebrating its 35th season at Ford’s, Michael Wilson’s adaptation is directed by Michael Baron. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Dec. 31. $22–$92. (202) 347-4833. fords.org.

u street music hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889.

Jubilee, Gavin Holland, The Borrowers. 10 p.m. $5–$15. ustreetmusichall.com.

fully cOmmitted A restaurant reservation taker showcases his amazing dexterity in this comedic and engaging one-man show featuring local actor Tom Story. Recently seen on Broadway, the MetroStage version is directed by Alan Paul. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria. To Jan. 8. $55–$60. (703) 5489044. metrostage.org.

Jazz

Blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Jane Monheit. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com. flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. DJ Freeez, Dreamcast, Spicoli, Tastefaker. 10 p.m. $10. flashdc.com.

Funk & r&B

Birchmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria.

(703) 549-7500. Mint Condition. 7:30 p.m. $79.50. birchmere.com.

Gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. The Funk Ark, Three Man Soul Machine. 8:30 p.m. $12–$14. gypsysallys.com.

GOyescas A cloak-and-dagger story of mistaken betrayals spins with the fury of Spanish dance and paintings come to life in this new English adaptation of the rarely seen opera-ballet, originally inspired

by Francisco de Goya’s paintings. This production is paired with Manuel de Falla’s “Seven Spanish Popular Songs.” GALA Hispanic Theatre. 3333 14th St. NW. To Dec. 18. $23–$46. (202) 234-7174. galatheatre.org.

DECEMBER F

16

LANDAU MURPHY JR.

Holiday Show

SA 17

JOE CLAIR & FRIENDS

SU 18

BIG NY & THE SMOOTH JAZZ ALL STARS

Comedy Show – 2 SHOWS (7/10PM)

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NRBQ CHRISTMAS WITH CASSANDRA WILSON

2 SHOWS (7/10PM)

TH 22

3RD ANNUAL URBAN SOUL HOLIDAY PARTY

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SOUL CRACKERS HOLIDAY PARTY RONNIE LAWS LET IT FLOW BAND RUTHIE & THE WRANGLERS & THE THRILLBILLYS,

“AULD TWANG SYNE” F

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S

12/31

DEANNA BOGART DOC SCANTLIN & HIS IMPERIAL PALMS ORCHESTRA to ring in 2017!

JUST ANNOUNCED

The band from Honolulu, Hawaii’s Iolani School has, for more than 40 years, incorporated elements of big band jazz, Latin, funk, and R&B into its performances while also highlighting traditional Hawaiian music styles. To put it mildly, this is not the typical high school band that you’d find sitting on bleachers at a football game.

Most high school musicians also don’t collaborate with accomplished jazz musicians like Arturo O’Farrill or play shows at world class performing arts venues like the Kennedy Center. Nevertheless, that’s where you’ll find the Iolani Stage Band on Monday. They may still look like awkward teenagers on a school trip, but they sound like seasoned pros. And with the holiday season in full swing, cross your fingers and hope the band will include “Mele Kalikimaka,” the Andrews Sisters’ ode to Christmas in Hawaii, in its set. The Iolani Stage Band performs at 6 p.m. at the Kennedy Center Millennium Stage, 2700 F St. NW. Free. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

—Caroline Jones

SAT., DEC. 31 ~ 8:00PM TIX: $15/$100

w/ Special Guest Lindsey Webster 7:30PM

CITY LIGHTS: Monday

iolani staGE Band

ROCK ‘N TWANG NEW YEAR’S EVE

F

1/6

W 1/11 F

2/3

TH 2/9 SU 2/12

SONNY LANDRETH + SARAH BORGES & THE BROKEN SINGLES CL SMOOTH Unplugged BILL LAURANCE DENIECE WILLIAMS JEFF BRADSHAW

featuring Algebra & N’Dambi

THE SPINNERS RICKIE LEE JONES & MADELINE PEYROUX

M 2/13 & T 2/14 T

3/7

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 www. BethesdaBluesJazz.com Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

★

12.16 12.17 12.20 12.21 12.22 12.23 12.27 12.29

KITI GARTNER & THE DECEITS JAMIE MCLEAN BAND SCOTT KURT DUO LIVE BAND KARAOKE THE HIGHBALLERS JUMPIN’ JUPITER WILD THE WATERS BOBBY THOMPSON & REVELATOR HILL 12.30 JONNY GRAVE & THE TOMBSTONES 12.31 ROCK & TWANG NYE

★ 1.5 1.7 1.14 1.17 1.20 1.24 1.26 2.4 2.10 2.16 2.24 2.25 3.4 3.10 3.16 3.21 3.25 4.7 4.8

★ STEALIN’ THE DEAL DELTA SPUR FOLK SOUL REVIVAL MAN ABOUT A HORSE KEVIN FOWLER OLD SALT UNION THE PLIMSOULS RE-SOULED THE WOODSHEDDERS THE HOWLIN’ BROTHERS CONNOR CHRISTIAN / TOM O’CONNOR ROGER CREAGER SLEEPY LABEEF SUNNY SWEENEY (ALBUM RELEASE) CORY MORROW DAN BAIRD & HOMEMADE SIN/ ERIC AMBEL CASH’D OUT THE CURRYS MARK EITZEL / HOWIE GELB CAROLYN WONDERLAND

HILL COUNTRY BARBECUE MARKET

410 Seventh St, NW • 202.556.2050 Hillcountrylive.com • Twitter @hillcountrylive

Near Archives/Navy Memorial [G, Y] and Gallery PI/Chinatown [R] Metro

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 39

LIVE

UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

KURT ELLING THE BEAUTIFUL DAY featuring special guest

TILL BRONNER W/ MARK MEADOWS SUNDAY DEC

18

LOS

LOBOS HOLIDAY SHOW

TUESDAY DEC

20

WED, DEC 21

O’CONNOR BAND

FEATURING MARK O’CONNOR PRESENTS AN APPALACHIAN CHRISTMAS THURS, DEC 22

CITY LIGHTS: tuEsday

lil uzi VErt

Hip-hop has long been a young man’s game, and they don’t come much younger—or more divisive—than Philly rap upstart Lil Uzi Vert. Fusing the Auto-Tuned trap rap popularized in Atlanta with touches of EDM sizzle and emo-pop melodies, the 22-yearold confounds hip-hop fans who prize wordplay and lyricism above everything else. Not that his hordes of similarly youthful fans care. They turn his shows into high-energy affairs where they can sing along to lyrics about tried-and-true hip-hop tropes—money, women, fame—but also Pokémon and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Along with rap heavyweights Kanye West and Young Thug, Uzi also names rockers Marilyn Manson and GG Allin as influences, and while he doesn’t rely on the latter pair’s grotesque shock tactics, he certainly shares their gift for showmanship. Taking a cue from collaborator Gucci Mane, the selfdescribed East Atlanta Santa, Uzi will spend two nights of the holiday season at the Fillmore for a show he’s calling "A Very Uzi Christmas." For rap traditionalists, Uzi’s Christmas spirit is the one thing that connects him to everyone from Run DMC (“Christmas in Hollis”) to Snoop Dogg (“Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto”). Lil Uzi Vert performs at 8 p.m. at the Fillmore, 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. $36.50. (301) 960-9999. fillmoresilverspring.com.

—Chris Kelly

BEN WILLIAMS

PRESENTS HIS 5TH ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BASH A HOLIDAY MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA FRI, DEC 23

VIRGINIA COALITION

SOLD OUT!!

CITY LIGHTS: WEdnEsday

W/ FEELFREE

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D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

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darlEnE loVE

Darlene Love is a minister’s daughter with a church-rooted voice so dominant she can knock over a wall with it. Unfortunately, Love has not always gotten recognition for that skill. In 1962 producer Phil Spector had her record the lead vocals on the single “He’s a Rebel,” backed by her own group, The Blossoms. The song went to number one on the pop chart, but the song credit went to a different girl group, The Crystals. Even her last name, Love, was a showbiz affectation given to her by Spector to replace her original last name, Wright. Love eventually got credit on a 1963 Phil Spector Christmas compilation album for singing “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home),” and that multi-octave rendition has since become her trademark. In the 1980s, while working as a maid, she heard the tune on the radio in a house she was cleaning and decided to return to performing full time. She annually performed “Christmas” on David Letterman’s show for more than 25 years, recorded a stylistic parody, “Christmastime for the Jews,” for Saturday Night Live, and acted in four Lethal Weapon movies. At 75 her gospel-pop delivery still works, and her moniker gets top billing. Darlene Love performs at 8 p.m. at the Howard Theatre, 620 T St. NW. $45– $82.50. (202) 803-2899. thehowardtheatre.com.

—Steve Kiviat

40 december 16, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

intO the wOOds Stephen Sondheim’s acclaimed musical that wonders what happens to fairy tale characters after they find their “happily ever after” is reimagined at the Kennedy Center in a new production from Fiasco Theater. Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 8. $45–$175. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. an irish carOl Keegan Theatre’s annual holiday tradition continues with its presentation of this Christmas Carol adaptation set in a Dublin pub. When its owner loses touch with humanity, a series of ghosts visit to remind him about the important things in life. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To Dec. 31. $35–$45. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com. it’s a wOnderful life: a live radiO play In the late 1940s, a team of radio performers gather to tell the story of George Bailey and his angel companion, Clarence, in this lively adaptation of the classic film supplemented with period ads. Washington Stage Guild at Undercroft Theatre. 900 Massachusetts Ave. NW. To Dec. 18. $25–$50. (240) 582-0050. stageguild.org. the maGi A couple that performs in the same band is on the verge of breaking up around the holidays, forcing both of them to consider the consequences of their actions in this awkward and poignant drama from Helen Murray Pafumi. The Hub Theatre at John Swayze Theatre. 9431 Silver King Court, Fairfax. To Dec. 18. $20–$30. (703) 674-3177. thehubtheatre.org. mary pOppins The well-loved movie musical about a nanny who brightens the lives of two dour children becomes a high-flying stage show in this production that features songs like “Supercalifragalisticexpealidocious” and “Practically Perfect.” Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To Jan. 1. $18–$80. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. miss Bennet: christmas at pemBerley The characters in Pride and Prejudice come together to celebrate Christmas in this new play that follows Mary Bennet as she explores her future and a potential romance. Round House Theatre Bethesda. 4545 East-West Highway, Bethesda. To Dec. 18. $36–$56.

(240) 644-1100. roundhousetheatre.org. mOBy dick The white whale comes alive in this lively adaptation of Herman Melville’s classic man-versusnature tale. Jamie Abelson and Christopher Donahue star as Ishmael and Ahab. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 24. $55–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org.

Oy vey in a manGer The Kinsey Sicks, described as “America’s Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet,” share gentile and Jewish stories in this lively holiday pageants that finds the chicks with schticks trying to sell their manger before it gets foreclosed. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To Dec. 28. $17–$47. (202) 7773210. theaterj.org. the secOnd city’s Black side Of the mOOn Woolly Mammoth and the Chicago-based comedy ensemble team up once again for a new show, this one with a cast of black comedians who imagine the future, describing everything from a new planet ruled

by Barack Obama to police brutality and everyone’s obsession with gluten intolerance. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Jan. 1. $20–$69. (202) 3933939. woollymammoth.net. the secOnd shepherds’ play Actors and members of the Folger Consort come together to tell the nativity story in this production that incorporates music, magic, and miracles. Folger Shakespeare Library. 201 E. Capitol St. SE. To Dec. 21. $40–$60.

(202) 544-7077. folger.edu. the secret Garden The classic children’s novel about an orphan who discovers the secrets locked away in her uncle’s mansion comes to Shakespeare Theatre Company in the form of a musical, featuring favorite songs like “Lily’s Eyes” and “A Bit of Earth.” Sidney Harman Hall. 610 F St. NW. To Dec. 31. $44–$118. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org. silver Belles When the longtime director of a town’s Christmas pageant suddenly dies, four silver-haired singers join together to ensure the show continues. Combining elements of popular sitcoms like The Golden Girls and Designing Women, this new show starring local favorites Donna Migliaccio, Nova Y. Payton, Ilona Dulaski, Naomi Jacobson and Sandy Bainum arrives just in time for the holidays. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Dec. 24. $40–$90. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org. sleepinG Beauty The classic fairy tale about a young woman who sleeps for a hundred years after pricking her finger is transformed into a dark, gothic tale in this new, wordless adaptation from Synet-

CITY LIGHTS: THURSDAY

BEN WILLIAMS

Bassist Ben Williams’ most recent album, 2015’s Coming of Age, demonstrates the growth of one of the most-forward pushing musicians in jazz today. After winning the Thelonious Monk International Jazz Competition in 2009, he was launched to the heights of the jazz world and his 2011 debut album, State of Art, is a grooving postbop record that plays on Williams' dexterous handling of rhythms. Since then, the bassist, composer, bandleader, and favorite son of D.C., has grown into a musician and thinker of serious stature. The compositions on Coming of Age possess a delicacy and airiness but are anchored by a harmonic depth and sonority that reflects supreme musical maturity. He also regularly displays his clever imagination and arrangement on record and in concert with interpretations of everything from Nirvana to Stevie Wonder. All of these significant abilities will be on display when Williams transforms Christmas jazz and winter standards in this special homecoming holiday show. Ben Williams performs at 7:30 p.m. at The Hamilton, 600 T St. NW. $20–$45. (202) 787-1000. thehamiltondc.com.

—Jackson Sinnenberg

ic Theater. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St. , Arlington. To Jan. 8. $20–$60. (866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org.

Straight White Men Provocative playwright Young Jean Lee presents this comedy about three brothers and their father who come together for a Christmas bout of wrestling and video games but when one member of the group begins to buckle under pressure, they all learn the stakes of their fight are higher than anyone imagined. Studio Theatre. 1501 14th St. NW. To Dec. 18. $20–$85. (202) 3323300. studiotheatre.org. titanic: the MuSical The stirring musical about the sinking of the famous ocean liner is reimagined at Signature by director Eric Schaeffer. Designed to be performed in the round, the production tells the story of the ship’s final minutes. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Jan. 29. $40–$108. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org.

Wicked The touring company of the long-running Broadway musical about the good witches and bad witches Dorothy encounters in Oz returns to the Kennedy Center for the holiday season. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 8. $79–$229.

(202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

lion A young man, abandoned on the streets of Calcutta and adopted by an Australian family, seeks out his biological parents and home in this stirring drama, based on a true story, starring Dev Patel, Nicole Kidman, and Sunny Pawar. (See washingtoncitypaper.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

com for venue information) MiSS Sloane A driven lobbyist does whatever it

JOSHUA ROTHKOPF ‒ TIME OUT NEW YORK

takes to win in this political drama starring Jessica Chastain, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, and John Lithgow.

Directed by John Madden. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) office chriStMaS Party The slacker branch man-

NATALIE PORTMAN WILL FLOOR YOU WITH HER TOUR DE FORCE PERFORMANCE. PETER TRAVERS ‒ ROLLING STONE

ager of a company and his co-workers must throw an impressive Christmas party to impress a client and prevent their office from getting shut down in this raunchy comedy from directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck. Starring TJ Miller, Jason Bateman, and Jennifer Aniston. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) rogue one: a Star WarS Story Gareth Edwards

Film

aSSaSSin’S creed A man discovers he is part of a secret group of assassins after exploring his past in this thriller starring Michael Fassbender and Jeremy Irons. Directed by Justin Kurzel. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) collateral Beauty As a man struggles to cope with tragedy, he seeks understanding by writing letters to Love, Time, and Death. The journey to understanding leads him to interact with other wanderers. Starring Will Smith,Helen Mirren, and Kate Winslet. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) la la land Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in this contemporary musical about a pianist and an aspiring actress who fall in love. Directed by Damien Chazelle, best known for directing 2014’s Whiplash.

(See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

directs the latest story in the Star Wars canon, in which the Rebellion attempts to steal plans for the

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Death Star, leading to a high-stakes conflict. Starring Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, and Alan Tudyk. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) Sing Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, and Seth MacFarlane provide voices to animated animals in this comedy about a koala who aims to restore his old theater by using it as a venue for a singing competition. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) the SPace BetWeen uS A young man born on Mars visits Earth for the first time in this adventure flick starring Britt Robertson, Janet Montgomery, and Carla Gugino. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

J A C K I E T H E F IL M.C O M WASHINGTON, DC AMC Loews Georgetown 14 amctheatres.com WASHINGTON, DC Landmark’s E Street Cinema (202) 783-9494

ARLINGTON AMC Loews Shirlington 7 amctheatres.com ARLINGTON Regal Ballston Commons Stadium (844) 462-7342 #377

BETHESDA Landmark’s Bethesda Row Cinema (301) 652-7273 FAIRFAX Angelika at Mosaic (571) 512-3301

FAIRFAX Cinema Arts Theatre (703) 978-6991 SILVER SPRING AFI Silver (301) 495-6700

washingtoncitypaper.com december 16, 2016 41

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Contents:

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FIND YOU

Puzzle SWAPPING SIDES

By Brendan Emmett Quigley

24 Bridge builder: Abbr.

28 Mike Pence, e.g.: Abbr.

29 Burrowing fish 30 Space bar neighbor on PCs 31 Compete in the super G 35 Jr.’s son 36 Super Bowl 50 MVP Miller 37 Director Lee 38 Small butt?

39 Heavy reading 40 Somewhat 41 See 2-Down 44 Land, in a boat 45 Start a new paragraph 46 Small point 47 Hammered 48 “Get that thing out of HERE!�

49 Puma rival 50 Jell-O and Velveeta’s owner 54 In between gears 55 Reliever’s stats 56 Summer getaway 57 ___-Coburg 61 See 67- and 68-Across 62 Snow on television 63 “I don’t ___ you anything!�

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22 “What ___ you saying?�

25 Daft Punk, e.g.

26 Fireplace shaft 27 Red spots you might get from a feeding trough?

32 Waffle that comes in a “Homestyle� variety 33 Couple of bucks?

34 Breath mint taken in selfdefense?

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42 Positive particle 43 Tiniest bit 44 Giving director Ingmar a hard time?

50 Gambling game at a convenience store 51 Shoe size letters 52 Glamour figs.

53 Pastries with colorful cravats?

58 Long Trail selection 59 “Dagblasted�

60 Mumford and Sons instrument 64 Shark’s giveaway 65 Really corny 66 U-shaped yoke 67 61-Down broadcaster 68 61-Down broadcaster 69 “Family Circus� cartoonist

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7 “Guards at the Taj� award 8 Kickstarter number 9 Big road runner 10 Shake a bit 11 Loathsome 12 Unable to relax 20 Sharers’ word 21 Bills’ home: Abbr.

22 Straw poll city 23 Sauce that comes in a “Homestyle� variety

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The Direct Sales Representative is responsible for acquiring new customers for a top telecommunications company in the region.

RCN provides a competitive base salary, uncapped commissions, with total compensation up to $75K, paid training, excellent benefit packages including 401k, generous paid time off plans, mileage reimbursement and a company issued cell phone.

Principal Responsibilities: 1. Execute sales strategy 2. Prospect, qualify and generate sales within assigned territory 3. Identify needs and sell appropriate product line to meet those needs 4. Respond to requests from customers for information 5. Meet prospective customers and establish relationship 6. Distribute marketing materials and participate in special sales events 7. Increase sales in respective territories 8. Prepare sales information for customers 9. Engage in technical discussions with potential customers through demonstrations and presentations 10. Remain knowledgeable and up-to-date on changes and developments within product/ service line 11. Keeps sales management informed of all activity, including timely preparation of required/ requested reports.

Requirements Education: High School Diploma or equivalent (required) Years of Relevant Experience: 1+ Core Competencies: 1. Basic Computer Skills (preferred). Particularly Microsoft Office Suite (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook) 2. Sales or marketing background in the telecommunications industry a plus.

3. Ability to work in a fast paced challenging environment.

4. Excellent communications, relationship building, organizational, presentation and influence skills are essential.

5. Strong executive presence and account/project management skills preferred.

6. Valid Driving license and proof of insurance 7. Reliable Personal Transportation Functional Requirements: Lifting, carrying, walking long distances in all types of weather, standing for long periods of time, traveling the entire RCN footprint as needed, use of both hands, use of fingers, near vision, far vision, heading (aid permitted), ability to make notes/write.

LAST WEEK: HEARING AIDES 6 $ / 6 $ 6

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Environmental Conditions: Works outside, works inside, exposed to excessive heat or cold, excessive humidity/ dampness/ chilling, slippery or uneven walking surfaces, working around moving objects or vehicles, working closely with others, working alone, irregular hours/rotation shifts/working weekend.

Please apply on our website at

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