CITYPAPER WASHINGTON
NEWS: BOWSER-ALLIED LANDLORD GETS RENT HELP 4 SPORTS: WIZARDS GO COLD AFTER HOT START 6 FOOD: HOW THE PANDEMIC HAS ALREADY CHANGED RESTAURANTS 22
THE DISTRICT'S FREE WEEKLY SINCE 1981 VOLUME 41, NO. 15 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DEC. 17, 2021 – JAN. 20, 2022
2021
Photographs by Darrow Montgomery
100% BLACK OWNED & OPERATED
EVER THOUGHT ABOUT MEDICAL CANNABIS? legal, grown in the DISTRICT by licensed cultivators, tested, free of pesticides & heavy metals, amazing selection, you can buy 8oz every 30 days!
ABRA IS OFFERING A NO COST 2 YEAR REGISTRATION FOR PATIENTS AND CAREGIVERSNEW & RENEWAL CARDS NOW THROUGH JANUARY, 31 2022
DCHFA, Your Homeownership Resource in the District. The District of Columbia Housing Finance Agency is your homeownership DCHFA, Yourfrom Homeownership Resource in the resource in the District buying a home to retaining your home; we have a homeownership program to assist you.
DCHFA, Your Your Homeownership Homeownership Resource Resource in inDistri the DCHFA, the
4721 Sheriff Road Northeast, Washington, DC 20019, USA | (202) 388-3000 Medical Dispensary Only. For more info www.shopcannabliss.com/medicalcard
@shop_cannabliss
WWW.SHOPCANNABLISS.COM
DC Open Doors Do you Your need mortgageResource assistance DCHFA, Homeownership in the District. due to the effects of COVID-19? DC Open Doors
DC Open Doors is your key to
DC Open Doors homeownership in the city. This program offers competitive DC Open Doors
PROTECTING OUR COMMUNITIES
TOGETHER REPORT HATE CRIMES 1-800-CALL-FBI
tips.fbi.gov
interest rates and lower mortgage insurance costs on first trust mortgages. You are not required to be a first-time homebuyer or a D.C. resident to qualify for DCOD. You must, DC MAP (Mortgage Program) COVID-19 is here to help however,Assistance be purchasing a home in the District of Columbia. DC Open Doors District homeowners stay in their homes during this pandemic.
Home Purchase Assistance Program (HPAP) HPAP provides interest free deferred loans for down payment and closing cost assistance up to $84,000 DCcombined. MAP COVID-19 provides zeromonthly assistance DCHFA serves as ainterest co-administrator of thisloans DC up to $5,000 for up to six months for qualified homeowners. Department of Housing and Community Development’s (DHCD) first-time home buyer program.
Borrower Qualifications:
DC4ME DC4ME provides assistance with optional • Must be borrower’s primary residence and must be locatedmortgage in the District of Columbiadown payment assistance to D.C. government employees. • Must have been currentDC4ME as of the March 1st payment (prior tofull-time District government is offered to current being affected by COVID-19) employees, including employees of District government• Must be able to document income affected due to COVID-19 based instrumentalities, independent agencies, D.C. Public • Borrower must be the borrower on the home loan, not just a Charter Schools, and organizations, provided the applicant/ member of the household borrower’s employer • Must show proof that the borrower is not eligible forfalls under the oversight of the Council of the District Columbia. forbearance or other types of relief offeredofthrough the servicer and/or Hardest Hit Funds • If borrower is still affected after the CARES Act ends, then relief may be offered atDC that MAP time (See additional terms) (Mortgage Assistance Program) COVID-19 DC MAP COVID-19 provides financial assistance to those by the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. For a fullaff listected of borrower qualifications and loan terms, visit Qualified borrowers can receive a loan of up to $5,000 per Visit www.DCHFA.org www.dchfa.org/homeownership month to put toward their mortgage for up to six months. how to apply to any of DCHFA’s homeownership programs.
Visit www.DCHFA.org
Visit www.DCHFA.org fulltoqualifi guidelines and information how tofor apply any ofcation DCHFA’s homeownership programs. on howVisit to apply to any of DCHFA’s homeownership programs. www.DCHFA.org
FBI 2 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
Visit www.DCHFA.org how to apply to any of DCHFA’s homeownership programs. how to apply to any of DCHFA’s homeownership programs.
DC MAP COVID-19 financial assistance will be granted on a first come, first served basis until the program allocation has been exhausted. Homeowners seeking assistance through
DC COVID-19 andcall financial assistance will be onapplying. a first come, first regarding served basis untilCOVID-19 the program has to been exhausted. HomeDC MAP MAP COVID-19 should 1-833-429-0537 to begin thegranted process of Questions DC MAP may allocation also be emailed DCMAP@dchfa.org. owners seeking assistance through DC MAP COVID-19 should call 202-667-7706 or DCMAP@housingetc.org to begin the process of applying.
TABLE OF CONTENTS COVER STORY 12 2021: Scenes from the past year, seen through the lens of staff photographer Darrow Montgomery
NEWS 4 Loose Lips: Why did housing developer Buwa Binitie get a rent increase from the D.C. Housing Authority when no one else did?
SPORTS 6 Wizards Wavering in Place: After a hot start to the season, the Wizards have subsequently struggled. Optimism is waning.
FOOD 22 Shift Change: Changes made throughout the pandemic will stick around—and help restaurants survive into the future.
ARTS 24 Building a Better Future: With a new director and new programs, the National Building Museum is preparing to fight climate change. 26 Get There Early: The opening acts you can’t miss at upcoming concerts 27 Film: Zilberman on Nightmare Alley 27 Galleries: Rudig on New Glass Now at the Renwick Gallery
CITY LIGHTS 28 City Lights: Taste some sparkling wine, see some moody photos of trees, and get a taste of Brazil in Adams Morgan.
DIVERSIONS 7
Crossword
30 Savage Love 31 Classifieds
Darrow Montgomery | 1600 block (rear) of Newton Street NW, December 13 Editorial
Advertising and Operations
Interim Editor CAROLINE JONES Managing Editor MITCH RYALS Arts and City Lights Editor SARAH MARLOFF Food Editor LAURA HAYES Sports Editor KELYN SOONG Multimedia Editor WILL WARREN Staff Writers AMBAR CASTILLO, BAILEY VOGT Staff Photographer DARROW MONTGOMERY Creative Director NAYION PERKINS Designer KATY BARRETT-ALLEY Audience Growth and Engagement Editor MICHELLE GOLDCHAIN Copy Editor GAIL O’HARA
Publisher and Chief Development Officer DUC LUU Associate Publisher ERIC NORWOOD Senior Account Executives MARK KULKOSKY, ALICIA MERRITT Account Executive ATHENA FOLTZ Sales Operations Manager HEATHER MCANDREWS Advertising Traffic Director JANE MARTINACHE Publisher Emeritus AMY AUSTIN
Leland Investment Corp. Owner MARK D. EIN Director of Finance RACHEL PROCTOR
LOCAL ADVERTISING: (832) 878-9567 FAX: (202) 650-6970 ADS@WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COMFIND A STAFF DIRECTORY WITH CONTACT INFORMATION AT WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM VOL. 41, NO. 15 DEC. 17 2021 - JAN. 20 2022 WASHINGTON CITY PAPER IS PUBLISHED EVERY WEEK AND IS LOCATED AT 734 15TH ST. NW, SUITE 400, WASHINGTON, D.C. 20005. CALENDAR SUBMISSIONS ARE WELCOMED; THEY MUST BE RECEIVED 10 DAYS BEFORE PUBLICATION. U.S. SUBSCRIPTIONS ARE AVAILABLE FOR $250 PER YEAR. ISSUE WILL ARRIVE SEVERAL DAYS AFTER PUBLICATION. BACK ISSUES OF THE PAST FIVE WEEKS ARE AVAILABLE AT THE OFFICE FOR $1 ($5 FOR OLDER ISSUES). BACK ISSUES ARE AVAILABLE BY MAIL FOR $5. MAKE CHECKS PAYABLE TO WASHINGTON CITY PAPER OR CALL FOR MORE OPTIONS. © 2021-2022 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE EDITOR.
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 3
NEWS LOOSE LIPS
Building Bonds Darrow Montgomery
How developer and Bowser ally Buwa Binitie reaps the benefits of his political connections
The Phyllis Wheatley YWCA, one of Buwa Binitie’s properties
By Mitch Ryals @MitchRyals On a Sunday morning in January, housing developer Buwa Binitie had a request for the then-chair of the D.C. Housing Authority’s board of directors, Neil Albert. Two of Binitie’s affordable properties, the Phyllis Wheatley YWCA in Shaw and the Girard Street Senior Apartments in Brookland, hadn’t seen a rent increase since 2018. Both properties receive housing vouchers from DCHA, the agency responsible for managing D.C.’s public housing stock and administering federal and local housing vouchers. Would the agency pay him more money? “It is unclear to us as owners how we should keep up with demanding increases in expenditure—particularly with insurance and utilities—with zero rental increases over the last four years,” Binitie wrote to Albert in an email thread shared with Loose Lips. His request for a rent increase was granted despite an ongoing rent freeze at DCHA. Binit ie copied t hen-DCH A Execut ive Director Tyrone Garrett, Deputy Mayor for Planning and Economic Development and DCHA Commissioner John Falcicchio, and Garrett’s chief of staff, Bandele McQueen. DCHA commissioners are not involved in rent increase decisions. A DCHA source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, tells LL that Binitie’s associates had previously asked for rent increases, but were denied because of the rent freeze. Getting no response, Binitie emailed Albert again that Friday to reiterate his request for
higher rent from DCHA. “Writing to see what if anything we can do to discuss how we go about our rental increases,” Binitie wrote. “I’ll appreciate your helping coordinate a meeting with all to determine next steps.” A few weeks went by with no response, so Binitie emailed Garrett on Feb. 15, copying Albert and McQueen. Albert responded a week later: “Tyrone and Bandele will be back in touch with you this week.” Binitie followed up with seven more emails until Garrett finally responded on April 28, saying he would authorize a 1.02 percent increase, the applicable annual adjustment factor published by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. The increase would apply retroactively back to 2018, Garrett wrote. Garrett granted the approval against the advice of his staff, according to a DCHA source close to the situation, and despite a freeze on rent increases that’s been in place at the housing authority since 2019. A month after Garrett approved the increase, the board decided not to renew his contract. It’s unclear whether this action played a role in their decision. Neither Garrett nor Albert returned LL’s calls or text messages. But DCHA spokesperson Tony Robinson confirms that both of Binitie’s properties received rent increases totaling nearly $41,000 in retroactive payments. “At present we cannot account for why the 1.02 percent increase was granted as those responsible are no longer with D.C. Housing Authority,” Robinson writes in an email. Binitie was the only landlord to receive an increase in fiscal year 2021, according to
4 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
Robinson. A DCHA source close to the situation tells LL other landlords had requested rent increases but were denied. That Binitie, a prominent affordable housing developer and prodigious donor to Mayor Muriel Bowser, received rent increases when all other landlords were denied similar requests is the latest bit of scandal to come out of DCHA. Never mind the audit that found $1.3 million in wasted funds, allegations of retaliation and intimidation against DCHA’s internal auditor, or the alleged abuse in its police department. Albert, the former DCHA board chair, whom Bowser appointed in 2017, resigned in October following reports that he signed off on a contract for an architecture and design firm owned by his girlfriend, Paola Moya. Albert and DCHA received federal subpoenas related to the matter last month. Dionne Bussey-Reeder, another of Bowser’s political allies and her pick to replace Albert, owes D.C. more than $15,000 in income taxes, and is therefore technically ineligible to serve on the board, according to the Office of the Attorney General. BusseyReeder shut down a conversation about her eligibility when it came up during the DCHA board’s December meeting, and it’s unclear what action, if any, the board will take. Binitie, for his part, has been tapped by Bowser three times since she took office to serve on the board of directors for the D.C. Housing Finance Agency. As an affordable housing developer, Binitie regularly has business in front of that very board. Although he recuses himself when the board votes on his company’s projects, sitting on a board with the power to award government subsidies to your own company, as well as to your competitors, invites questions about conflicts of interest. And Binitie’s inclusion of Albert and Falcicchio, who is also Bowser’s chief of staff, on emails asking for rent increases, raises questions about political favoritism. As a board chair himself, perhaps Binitie should know better. Binitie is the managing principal of Dantes Partners, a prominent affordable housing developer in D.C. He does business in Virginia and New York City, too. Binitie’s firm has closed more than $750 million in real estate transactions that have led to more than 2,100 units of workforce and affordable housing since its founding in 2006, according to his biography on the DCHFA’s website. He’s also a generous political donor. Binitie has donated at least $67,850 as an individual and through Dantes Partners to political candidates and political action committees in D.C., according to the city’s campaign finance database. That includes $10,000 to each of Bowser’s inaugural committees and another $10,000 to her controversial FreshPAC, which exploited a loophole in campaign finance law that allowed for unlimited donations in nonelection years. Longtime LL readers will recall Binitie’s supporting role in that fiasco. When Ward 3 Councilmember Mary Cheh questioned him
during a 2015 Council hearing, Binitie said he couldn’t remember who asked him to donate to FreshPAC. Soon after the hearing, Binitie accompanied Bowser’s delegation on a trip to China. About a month before he cut that $10,000 check in 2015, Bowser nominated Binitie to DCHFA’s board. (He got some of his money back when she folded the PAC under pressure.) Binitie has served as the board’s chair since his confirmation, and Bowser has renominated him every two years since—most recently in 2019. (Binitie also served on the board in 2008 and 2009 on nominations from Bowser’s predecessor and mentor, Mayor Adrian Fenty.) DCHFA is responsible for approving financing tools for low- to moderate-income housing, such as D.C.’s allotment of tax-exempt bonds. Similar to agencies in other states, the DCHFA board votes on whether to award government subsidies based on recommendations from the agency’s staff. The tax-exempt bonds are a relatively modest subsidy in the grand scheme of an affordable housing project, but they come with low-income housing tax credits that are almost essential. Binitie’s seat on the board is more than just a resume booster. His company often has projects come before the board for a vote—as do his fellow board members. To be fair to Binitie and his board buddies, who include Bryan “Scottie” Irving of Blue Skye Construction and Development, Stephen Green of the NHP Foundation, and former Deputy Mayor and Director of D.C.’s Department of Housing and Community Development Stanley Jackson of the Anacostia Economic Development Corporation, they recuse themselves from discussion and votes on their own projects. But this glaring conflict of interest means board members must vote on other members’ projects knowing that their own projects will come up for a vote. It also creates a musical chairs situation. Take, for example, the April 27, 2021, board meeting, when Binitie recused himself from both items the board considered: up to $26 million in tax-exempt bonds for the Clara on Martin Luther King Jr. Avenue SE and an extension of a $1 million loan for the V Street Apartments in Anacostia. In Binitie’s absence, Green chaired the first part of the meeting, and the board unanimously approved the tax-exempt bonds for the Clara. Green then recused himself from the discussion and vote on V Street Apartments. The board unanimously approved the loan extension as well. DCHFA Executive Director Christopher Donald says in an emailed statement sent via an agency spokesperson that all board members adhere to DCHFA’s conflict of interest process, which requires that they disclose any conflicts at a board meeting and in writing. “The Board member must refrain from participating in any deliberations or discussion (preliminary or final, at a public meeting or otherwise), authorization, vote, or implementation of any DCHFA transaction in which a board member has a conf lict,” Donald’s statement says. “The board member is not
NEWS LOOSE LIPS
MORTGAGE LOANS
permitted to be present during any discussion or vote regarding the matter in which a conflict of interest has been identified and may not return to the meeting until all discussion of the matter has been completed.” An emailed statement from Bowser’s office in response to LL’s inquiry about conflicts of interest among board members says the mayor nominates board members who bring expertise in their fields and who represent the interests of D.C. residents. “That’s what our Administration has done and will continue to do,” the mayor’s statement says, noting that the D.C. Council must confirm her nominations. “We hold all appointees to the highest ethical standards and all appointees are required to participate in annual ethics training.” But according to board minutes, Binitie participated in the discussion and voted on a $1 million loan for the Clara in May of 2019—the same project he recused himself from in April of this year. His firm is listed as a development consultant and property manager on the project, according to the April minutes. Donald’s email says Binitie was not affiliated with the Clara when he voted on the loan in 2019. Binitie did not respond to LL’s emails or a phone message left at his office. During a 2019 hearing in the thenCommittee on Housing and Neighborhood Revitalization on his most recent reappointment to the DCHFA board, Binitie assured
SSB-107 Mortgage Print_9.875x5.5416_WashCityPaper.indd 1
At-Large Councilmembers Elissa Silverman and Anita Bonds, who chairs the committee, that he recuses himself “from every single transaction” that involves his company. Since he became chairperson in 2015, Binitie testified that DCHFA had financed 7,675 units of rental housing and helped 1,546 residents buy homes. Of those 7,675 financed units, his
Donald says in an email that the board hasn’t turned down any transactions from any developer in the past five years, though sometimes the board asks the developer to restructure the deal. “The mission of the agency is to create more units of affordable housing for D.C.’s residents and the agency works with the developers to realize its mission,” Donald’s email says.
“Given that a lot of affordable housing goes to a small group of developers in our city and those people are interacting socially... it’s very difficult to see how they would vote against each other.” firm has had a hand in 435. That number represents about 20 percent of the 2,100 rental units Binitie said Dantes Partners has created in D.C. and elsewhere. Asked during the hearing whether any board members have voted against his projects, Binitie said he didn’t know. Had he ever voted against an application from a fellow board member? Silverman asked. “I don’t recall,” Binitie said. “We see a lot of transactions come before the board.”
Of all the board meetings convened since Binitie was confirmed in 2015, during which the board voted on an application for financing, and for which minutes are available online, board members recused about 40 percent of the time, according to LL’s review of minutes. Binitie was confirmed, 9-4, on Jan. 7, 2020, by the full D.C. Council. Ward 8 Councilmember Trayon White, former At-Large Councilmember David Grosso, Cheh, and Silverman dissented.
Those same four councilmembers cointroduced legislation shortly after the vote that would have barred DCHFA board members from having business before the board while they serve. But the bill died in Bonds’ housing committee without a hearing. A Bonds staffer tells LL that she thinks Silverman’s approach is “overly broad.” Instead, the staffer says, Bonds is considering introducing legislation that would require a board member to disclose a conflict as soon as an application arrives at the agency. But LL wonders what effect Bonds’ proposal will have. There are only five members on the board. Wouldn’t DCHFA staff already know if a board member submits an application? The staffer also echoed Binitie’s defense of his seat on the board: Affordable housing deals are complicated, so you want people with expertise evaluating the applications. Silverman doesn’t buy the argument that barring those actively building affordable housing would leave the board without qualified members. “Given that a lot of affordable housing goes to a small group of developers in our city and those people are interacting socially, practically, it’s very difficult to see how they would vote against each other,” Silverman says. “I’m not implying they’re unethical. I’m just saying we’re putting people in the difficult position of having to vote against friends and business colleagues.”
WE WERE THERE WHEN THE OLD HOUSE GOT TOO SMALL. WE’LL BE THERE WHEN THIS ONE GETS TOO BIG. Let’s talk about your options. Call us at 800.399.5919 or visit sandyspringbank.com/mortgage.
Member FDIC. Sandy Spring Bank NMLS # 406382. Sandy Spring Bank and the SSB logo are registered trademarks of Sandy Spring Bank. © 2021 Sandy Spring Bank. All rights reserved.
10/5/2021 4:07:45 PM WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 5
SPORTS BASKETBALL
Wizards Wavering in Place Kelyn Soong
The Wizards started the season 10-3 and fans were optimistic. But they’ve been struggling since.
By Kelyn Soong @KelynSoong The memories help keep Darin Crews coming back for more Washington Wizards games. He first started attending back when the team played at Capital Centre in Landover as the Washington Bullets. Tickets were cheap—like $5 or $10, Crews recalls—and the arena was close enough to his home in Oxon Hill that his parents could drop him off at games. And those teams in the late 1970s, unlike the more recent product on the floor, actually won in the playoffs. The franchise’s first and only NBA title came in 1978, and Crews attended one of those NBA Finals games at Capital Centre around age 12 with his brother and their friend to watch players such as Wes Unseld, Bob Dandridge, and Elvin Hayes. He even has photos of himself with each of the three Hall of Famers. “They were the champions,” Crews says. “So I guess that feeling, it just keeps bringing me back, just chasing a title.” Crews, now 56, has remained a loyal, committed fan through plenty of underachieving years, draft pick busts, rebuilds, and the #SoWizards era, where anything that can go wrong will go wrong. This season, however, is the most optimistic Crews has felt about the franchise in a long time. The Wizards hired a new but familiar head coach in Wes Unseld Jr., the son of the late NBA champion, and the team began the season 10-3, its best start in 47 years. For a brief moment, Washington was the top team in the
Eastern Conference. But a third of the way through the season, the Wizards have faltered. They struggle to find a cohesive identity on the court, and after teasing fans with a hot start, the team has taken a nosedive. The Wizards are 5-10 in their past 15 games, and are seventh in the Eastern Conference as of Dec. 15. Bradley Beal, who can opt out of his final season in D.C. and become an unrestricted free agent this offseason, has not played up to his All-Star standards, and the Wizards are in the bottom half of the league in both offensive and defensive ratings. “We’re working as a team to figure things out and get us back to the position to where we were when we were having fun playing instead of having a lot of frustration on the floor,” forwardcenter Daniel Gafford told reporters after a 123-98 loss to the Utah Jazz on Dec. 11. The team’s often cynical fan base, accustomed to disappointment, appears skeptical. Less than a year ago the COVID-19 pandemic prevented fans from attending NBA games. Now, in the few months since D.C. began allowing full capacity at Capital One Arena, the Wizards are averaging just 15,947 fans at their 20,000-plus-capacity home stadium, according to ESPN data. “If you win, they will come,” Crews says. “You have to win. The fan base is here. It’s the same fan base that has been here when I was going to the games in the ’70s, the ’80s, the ’90s, the 2000s. The fan base is here, but you just have to win.” This year marks the 25th season that D.C. sportscaster Dave Johnson has been calling
6 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
Wizards games as the team’s radio play-by-play voice. He’s read the tweets and heard the cynicism from Wizards fans on his shows. He likens the Wizards’ relatively low attendance to what the Washington Capitals experienced before they became a consistently successful NHL franchise. Back in the 2007-08 season, Johnson says, the Capitals had fired their head coach Glen Hanlon after a slow start and the fan base “was not very much energized like it is now.” “But then all of a sudden, they made that amazing run, and they went from last place into the playoffs,” Johnson continues. “They didn’t win the Stanley Cup, but they got in the playoffs, and the town started to feed off the energy of how they were playing. And next thing you know, by the next year you couldn’t get a ticket. ... Yes, it helps having an Alex Ovechkin, but the Wizards, if they can continue to excite fans with the way they play, they don’t have to win an NBA title, but if they can continue to show what they’ve already shown this early part of the season at home, it’ll start to catch, because people will come out.” While some Wizards fans may have soured from decades of mediocrity and misery, cynicism, Johnson says, is better than the alternative: apathy. “I think [what] sometimes is misunderstood about that fan base ... is they care, they’re passionate about this team,” Johnson says. “Yeah, they get frustrated with losses or injuries or when things don’t meet their expectations. But the best thing is they care. It would be a more difficult situation if you had a fan base that was apathetic.” Wizards general manager and president Tommy Sheppard also hears the frustration. Sheppard has been with the organization since 2003. He took over for Ernie Grunfeld, the target of much of the Wizards fans’ ire, in April 2019 on an interim basis before he was named the permanent GM a few months later. Sheppard recently received a contract extension and an additional title of president of the team after the Wizards’ 10-3 start. He tries not to worry about the outside noise, but acknowledges that the fans are “paying the money and it’s an emotional investment.” Even with decades of #SoWizards cynicism, the GM insists that success will come. “It’s my job to put the best team out there,” Sheppard says. “And we want the fans to be happy. I want to hear when they’re not happy. But I also know the ebbs and flows of fans, and you can hate a team in the first quarter and love them by the end and vice versa. That’s the beauty of being a fan. And I love loyalty. I love people— their passion. If they’re not booing, there’s something wrong ... If it’s a bad product and they’re not booing that means they don’t care. Booing is an emotion, so is cheering ... Every fan base is going to have its ebbs and flows. Every fan base is quote-unquote cynical. You just got to ride it out. I think everybody has their seasons to remember, right? We’ve had those here before.” And there are signs that fans are appreciating this particular group. So far this season, the Wizards are averaging a 1.1 household rating in the Washington market, which equates to approximately 23,000 households, according
to Nielsen data. That number is up 21 percent compared with the final ratings and up 8 percent versus the comparable amount of games for the 2020-21 season, as of Dec. 10. The rating is the average for the entire game and does not include unique viewers or streaming data. Sheppard gets credit for hiring Unseld and drafting Rui Hachimura and Deni Avdija. Hachimura, who was named to the NBA AllRookie Second Team in the 2019-20 season, hasn’t played yet this season due to unspecified personal reasons, but Avidja has become one of the team’s best defensive players. Sheppard also brought in key players this offseason such as Montrezl Harrell, Kyle Kuzma, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope in a trade that sent Russell Westbrook to the Los Angeles Lakers. That trade has so far worked out in the Wizards’ favor. Sheppard hopes fans will be patient with his strategy of building for longterm success rather than immediate wins. All of the team’s players, he points out, are under the age of 30. The team’s moves this summer, Sheppard says, “were really thoughtful with the idea of being able to sustain winning.” Some fans are cautiously hopeful. “It’s like that hashtag #SoWizards, you just get a feeling that something’s always going to go wrong,” says longtime Wizards fan Nick Bilka. “Just this feeling of never getting over the hump.” But Bilka, a former contributor to the Wizards fan blog Bullets Forever sees reason for optimism: “I’m a little more hopeful now, because I like some of the things that Tommy Sheppard has done. I think Wes Unseld Jr. has a lot of respect in the league, and [give] him a chance to see what he does. And so in that respect, yeah, I’m excited. And some of their young players I enjoy.” The Wizards, as Crews notes, have not played at full strength this season. Center Thomas Bryant is still working his way back after tearing his ACL in January, and Hachimura’s exact return remains unclear but he joined the Wizards on the bench for the first time earlier this month. “Rui’s doing great. I’m looking forward to getting him back,” Sheppard says. “Got to get him a little bit more contact. It’s been a little long layoff, get him right. Thomas Bryant is ready to go. Those are two pretty important players to us who haven’t played the game yet, so that gives you a little bit of excitement.” For fans like Crews, he wants his three kids, aged 12, 15, and 18, to experience what he did back at Capital Centre with the Bullets. Crews says he feels good about this season’s team if the players can get healthy. He still attends about 20 Wizards games per season and finds the energy to cheer them on even when the team is down. Against the Jazz earlier this month, Crews attended the game with his wife and one of her friends. He jumped up and down during the T-shirt toss and took selfies and photos throughout the game. When the Wizards return from their six-game road trip, it’s likely Crews will be there, traveling from his home in Bowie to cheer on the team at Capital One Arena, regardless of its record. “Through all these losing years, and still be a fan, I guess I would have to be a die-hard fan,” he says. “I am a loyal fan.”
CAPITOL HILL AUTO SERVICE
DIVERSIONS CROSSWORD
IMITATES MUTTS By Brendan Emmett Quigley
Across 1. One of the three Schuyler sisters 6. Frankenfood ingredients 10. Did a parody of 14. Unmatched 15. Trickster of myth 16. Garnish fruit 17. Do some research on a dog? 20. Cookie holders 21. Sportsball player: abbr. 22. F soundalike 23. Pioneering computer programmer Lovelace 24. “All ___ Wants To Do Is Dance” (Don Henley song) 25. Strasbourg sweetie 26. Stump a dog? 32. Become grounded? 34. Rude dude 35. Son of, to a 33 down 36. They’re tapped for coffee 37. Guy who’s a little too into cartoon horses
39. Super Bowl highlight, often 40. Retch 41. Per ___ 42. Everybody online now 43. Disrupt the dog industry with an app? 47. Celebrity 48. Claudius’s dozen 49. “If we’re being frank,” initially 52. The Day the Earth Stood Still alien 55. “Nifty!” 56. Capital in France’s Manche department 57. “Finally, a dog?” 60. Bright bear 61. “Will you allow me?” 62. She might be fatale 63. Staffs 64. Small measurements of work 65. Suit material Down 1. Butterflies in the kitchen 2. Medieval Moor fighter
3. Drink and drink and drink 4. Bearded beasts 5. “We’re not done ___” 6. Squatting muscles 7. Flame seeker 8. Approvals for action 9. “Attack, Fido!” 10. Lady in a Grateful Dead song 11. Falafel wrap 12. Middle Eastern dignitary 13. Incredibly profound 18. Island that constitutes the bulk of Honolulu County
0 $ 5 5 2 :
( 5 , ( 3 $
* ( 1 ; ( 5
& 2 / 2 / $ & ' * 2 ) % $ 3 2 5 $ / 7 0 2 6
$ 1 $ ' 6 , 1 ) ( $ , 7 7 2 & $ 5 1 ( 1 ) 2 7
6 2 & & , / $ $ / 0 2 1 5 ( 6 : % 6 / , 2 . 3 (
19. Wickerproducing tree 24. One who’s maybe on the case: abbr. 25. It’s made up of many eras 27. Jr. naval rank 28. It gets dropped when things get serious in a relationship 29. “Patience!” 30. Skier’s transport 31. Wraps things up 32. Poisonous Japanese puffer fish 33. See 35 across 37. Leave, but in a more flamboyant, almost hip-hop way 38. React to a hit 39. General of take out 41. Inflicted upon 42. Lethal weapon 44. Gaucho’s neck ties? 45. Weed also known as wood sorrel 46. BBQ finger food 50. Accuse 51. Made keen 52. Poser Heidi 53. Croft in a tomb 54. NAACP mem.? 55. Snake tooth 56. Hearty bowlful 58. Drum’s site 59. Back on a plane
) 3 ' 5 ( 2 2 5 1 ) 4 8 0 ( 5 8 0 6 ) , & $ ) / $ 1 / / < ( ' ( 5 $ 1 ) 1 ( 2 , & . , ( $ $ 5
$ 6 / ( ( 3
6 + 2 ( * $ = 1 ( ( , & / $ 7 1 1 ) , / 3
3 $ 8 * $ 6 2 / ( . % ( 5 *
6 < 5 / 2 2
5 ( ' 6 ( $
615 INDEPENDENCE AVE SE | WASHINGTON, D.C. 20003 202-543-5155 | CAPITOLHILLAUTOSERVICE.COM
This is an important time of year to stay ahead of the game and get your car serviced while the temperatures drop.
ANTIFREEZE/COOLANT WINDSHIELD WIPERS TIRES BATTERY ALIGNMENT
We want your family to be safe this season as the holiday season draws closer and temperatures continue to drop. Don’t procrastinate getting your vehicle serviced—bring it on by! 202-543-5155 | CAPITOLHILLAUTO@GMAIL.COM MONDAY-FRIDAY, 8:00AM-6:00PM CERTIFIED REPAIR SHOP VOTED A BEST PLACE TO GET YOUR CAR SERVICED: 20 21 2020
20 19
20 17
2016
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 7
E
V
E
N
T
G
U
I
D
E
Experience outdoor holiday shopping in the heart of Downtown F Street between 7th & 9th Streets NW
Nov.19 Thru Dec. 23, 2021
12 p.m. to 8 p.m.
( Closed Thanksgiving Day and Monday, Dec 6 )
7nual
an downtownholidaymarket.com
@DtwnHolidayMkt
DowntownHolidayMarket
get ere to Scan h fo on your in all the device mobile
#DowntownHolidayMarket
D.C.’s One-Stop Winter Wonderland Shop Returns to Heart of Downtown
G R A N T U S C E L E B R AT I O N
November 19 – December 23 | 12PM-8PM F Street, NW between 7th & 9th (Gallery Place Metro Station) Closed Thanksgiving Day, and Monday Dec. 6 Note: The market will operate daily, regardless of rain or snow. Operated by the DowntownDC Business Improvement District (BID) and Diverse Markets Management, the 17th Annual Downtown Holiday Market, Washington D.C.’s outdoor shopping village, kicks off the holiday season Friday, November 19. The beloved outdoor market returns to downtown Penn Quarter, transforming two city blocks on F Street into a one-stop shop, open-air winter wonderland. Guests can make the most of their holiday shopping experience this winter supporting local businesses and finding unique, festive treasures in the heart of the District through December 23. Whether you’re shopping for friends, family or yourself, the Downtown Holiday Market is your onestop shop for unique gifts. Here’s what you can find: • More than 70 vendors from the region will showcase unique and handmade crafts, clothing, glasswork, jewelry, paintings, photographs, woodworking and so much more at the market. • Shoppers can support small business creatives including the new Macy’s STORY, a curated, narrative-driven retail experience, and enjoy overnight accommodations at one of D.C. ‘s landmark hotels through the Downtown Holiday Market’s official hotel partner Kimpton Hotel Monaco Washington D.C. • Food, festivities, and your favorite local entertainment at the mainstage is back while you shop. Guests can also enjoy festive and holiday-themed XR (virtual reality) technology from ARTECHOUSE.
A T W E L F T H N I G H T CO N C E R T January 9, 2022 | 4:00 p.m. Saint Luke Catholic Church, McLean, Virginia Celebrate the holiday season with the City Choir of Washington and enter the new year in a festive spirit with our annual Twelfth Night concert, featuring Maestro Shafer’s favorite Christmas music for choir, brass, and organ by Gabrieli, Handel, Pinkham and Dirksen.
Purchase Tickets at TheCityChoirOfWashington.org
In 2005, the DowntownDC Business Improvement District (BID) in collaboration with Diverse Markets Management (DMM) created an outdoor holiday shopping marketplace for the DowntownDC community. Today, DowntownDC is a retail and tourist destination, and The Downtown Holiday Market is at the heart of it all. The Market is committed to environmental sustainability and many Market exhibitors offer fair-trade imports and gifts made from recycled and sustainable resources. The Market is conveniently accessible by public transportation including Metrorail, Metrobus and Capital Bikeshare. For more information on daily performances and vendors, visit DowntownHolidayMarket.com. Vendors rotate daily, so we look forward to seeing you throughout this holiday season again and again! Follow us on Twitter @DtwnHolidayMkt and on Facebook and Instagram @DowntownHolidayMarket (#DowntownDCHolidayMarket).
Neil Albert President & CEO DowntownDC Business Improvement District
Mike Berman President Diverse Markets Management
2021 DOWNTOWN HOLIDAY MARKET | Nov. 19 thru Dec. 23 : 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. DAILY | DowntownHolidayMarket.com
EXHIBITORS
Find unique and wonderful items offered by over 70 exhibitors. Please note, exhibitors are scheduled for either the First Half of the show (Friday, November19 - Sunday, December 5), the Second Half of the show (Tuesday, December 7 - Thursday, December 23) or for the Whole show. See the Exhibitor Categories for the participant list, booth numbers, and days of participation. See the SITE MAP for booth locations.
Downtown HolidayMarket.com
View detailed description of exhibitors and a link to their business at DowntownHolidayMarket.com.
CERAMICS
iconsDC #20 First Half iconsDC.com Jentz Prints #6 Whole Show instagram.com/jentz_prints
Kerri Henry Pottery #49 Second Half kerrihenrypottery.com Sarah Nickel Ceramics #35 First Half sarahnickelceramics.com
CHOCOIDEA #48 Whole Show chocoidea.com H3O Farms #30 Whole Show Mondepice Spices and Teas #33, 34 Whole Show mondepice.com The Capital Candy Jar #F5 Whole Show thecapitalcandyjar.com The Taste of Germany #F2 Whole Show thetasteofgermany.com
CORPORATE
CLOTHES & ACCESSORIES
STORY at Macy’s #32 Whole Show instagram.com/macys
Art Inca Native #9, 10 Whole Show Fuzzy Ink #28 Whole Show fuzzy-ink.com Indigo Moon #55 First Half Jon Wye #29 Whole Show jonwye.com Kiwi Exquisite #35 Second Half fb -> Kiwi-Exquisite Little Tibet Boutique #24, 25 Whole Show instagram.com/ littletibetboutique Maison Soleil #50 Second Half www.maisonsoleil.com
CRAFT Because Science #54 Whole Show BecauseScienceDC.com Canimals #1 First Half getcanimals.com Hope’s Journals #37 First Half New York Puzzle Company #47 Whole Show newyorkpuzzlecompany.com Rebound Design #55 Second Half
GLASS Cecil Art Glass #46 Whole Show Glitzyglass #43 Whole Show Glitzy-glass.com Joy of Glass #23 First Half joyofglass.com New World Glass #23 Second Half newworldglass.com
GIFT FOODS
COLLECTIBLES FarEast Antiques #60 Whole Show
SITE MAP
JEWELRY
IMPORTED CRAFTS
Chouquette Chocolates #4 Whole Show chouquette.us BannerBee Co #31 First Half bannerbees.com
IndiBlossom by Anuradha Mehra #31 Second Half indiblossom.com KVZ Designs #8 Whole Show kvzdesigns.com Mundo Handmade #11 Whole Show mundohandmade.com Souvenir Arts #15 Whole Show Toro Mata #7 Whole Show toromata.com Tunisian Touch #59 Whole Show tunisiantouch.com Veroka Distributers #516 Whole Show
Baby Alpaca #45 Whole Show From Egypt With Love #53 Whole Show fromegyptwithlove-epy.com
ARTICLE22 #20 First Half article22.com D Collections #1 Second Half Deco Etc. #39 Whole Show deco-jewelry.com Ethic Goods #21 First Half ethicgoods.com Leah Sturgis Jewelry #37 Second Half leahsturgis.com
Lost & Forged #41 Whole Show lostandforged.com Southwest Expressions #26 Whole Show nativecraftsworld.com Stio Designs #17 Whole Show ancientcoindesigns.com Turtles Webb #51 First Half ig/turtleswebb
PAINTING
Art by Zachary Sasim #19 Whole Show zacharysasim.com Green Blanky Studio #51 Second Half greenblankystudio.com Joel Traylor Art #52 Second Half joeltraylor.com Jonathan Blum #40 Second Half Jonathanblumportraits.com Marcella Kriebel Art & Illustration #44 Whole Show marcellakriebel.com Painted Palettes #58 Whole Show paintedpalettes.com Rayhart #22 Whole Show rayhart.com
The Downtown Holiday Market is centrally located in the heart of Downtown DC, centered at 8th and F Street, NW. It is easily accessible by foot, bike, and Metro (Gallery Pl-Chinatown).
Smithsonian American Art Museum & National Portrait Gallery 801 F St NW
F ST 3
16 17 18
4
5
6
7
19 20 21 22
Shake Shack
8
9 10 11
12 13 14 15
Food
23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30
Food
800 F St NW
2 3
Audience Seating
8TH ST
2
Food
31 32 33 34
35 36 37 38
39 40 41 42
43 44 45
Food
46 47 48 49
50 51 52 53
54 55 56 57
58 59 60
4 5
Food 6
1
7TH ST NW
Gallery Place/ Chinatown Metro
ENTRANCE Stage
Food 1
9TH ST NW
ENTRANCE
Hotel Monaco 700 F St NW Courtyard Lounge at Dirty Habit 555 8TH St
7
Scan here to get all the info on your mobile device at
l
annua
2021 DOWNTOWN HOLIDAY MARKET | Nov. 19 thru Dec. 23 : 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. DAILY | DowntownHolidayMarket.com
Tsolmon-Art #2 Whole Show tsolmonart.com
PHOTOGRAPHY
Avner Ofer Photography #42 Whole Show AvnerOfer.com Chandler Art and Images #21 Second Half chandlerartandimages.weebly.com Joe Shymanski Photography #38 Whole Show joeshymanski.com Tom Wachs Photography #18 First Half tomwachs.com
PRINTMAKING
Female Power Project #3 Whole Show FemalePowerProject.com Pyramid Atlantic Art Center #50 Second Half pyramidatlanticartcenter.com Terratorie Maps + Goods #57 Whole Show terratorie.com Treksalot #27 First Half etsy/reksalot
SOAPS & CANDLES Banner Bee Co #31 First Half bannerbees.com Coastal HoBo #13, 14 Whole Show coastalhobo.com Joyful Bath Co. #36 Whole Show joyfulbathco.com Kin & Care #18 Second Half kinandcare.com Raw Blossom #40 First Half raw-blossom.com Smell of Love Candles #52 First Half smelloflovecandles.com
TEXTILES
Naked Decor #27 Second Half nakeddecor.com The Neighborgoods #56 Whole Show theneighborgoods.com
WOOD
Godet Woodworking #58 Whole Show godetfurniture.com Mistura Timepieces #5 Whole Show woodcoholics.com
MUSIC SCHEDULE
The Market Screen presents a musical feast of more than 40 performers by some of the area’s best blues, rock, jazz, soul, country, world, and contemporary artists. And of course, it wouldn’t be a “holiday” market without some of your favorite seasonal standards. Check the performer list below, and find more information about all of the performers in the Musical Entertainment section of DowntownHolidayMarket.com.
OPEN PEN 24/7
pl
us
ad eep selection of
SPINTIMERECORDS.COM
2021 DOWNTOWN HOLIDAY MARKET | Nov. 19 thru Dec. 23 : 12 p.m. to 8 p.m. DAILY | DowntownHolidayMarket.com
g re
ga
S
Schedule: For Entire Market run
ARTECHOUSE and the Downtown Holiday Market have partnered to celebrate the district’s most joyful season of the year with an all-new immersive extended reality (XR) experience for guests. For a second annual activation, the collaborators are allowing visitors the chance to uncover a hidden layer of XR art at the holiday market to explore limitless creative possibilities whether visiting the market or at ARTECHOUSE’s recently extended exhibition, Life of a Neuron. To activate the experience this holiday season, Washingtonians and tourists alike can download the free ARTECHOUSE XR mobile app on the Apple and Google Play stores. For more information visit https://www.artechouse.com/xr/.
e
Y
S
ERA
ARTECHOUSE DC XR Installation
F
ER
Hotel Monaco and Dirty Habit are the official hotel and restaurant partners of the Downtown Holiday Market. Kimpton Hotel Monaco DC will bring the yuletide magic into their courtyard with a tented celebration full of holiday décor, outdoor fire pits, blankets, string lights to set the city festival aglow, and an outdoor pop-up bar with festive cocktail specials provided by Dirty Habit.
DY
S&
Schedule: For Entire Market run
LL
americana
MONACO / DIRTY HABIT COURTYARD
&
EA
LIV
SPECIAL PROGRAMS
w
op
-A
DE
The Taste of Germany #F2 Entire Show thetasteofgermany.com
d
DR
LE
Old Blue BBQ #F5 Entire Show oldbluebbq.com
l or
oul & funk hip s h
SIC
AN
TY
IT Tropical #F3 Entire Show ITtropical.com
CD’S VIDEOS BOOKS ETC
ND
nic ro ct
The Capital Candy Jar #F4 Entire Show thecapitalcandyjar.com
1500+ TITLES ON-HA
OR
Migue’s Mini Donuts #F6 Entire Show facebook.com/ miguesminis
T H E B E ST LO C A L M U
le
Alexa’s Empanadas #F1 Entire Show facebook.com/ alexasempanadas
NEW VINYL
Find freshly prepared food, coffee, hot chocolate, and more tasty treats for the whole show from these local businesses.
sic
FOOD & DRINK
GIFT CARDS AND MEMBERSHIPS MAKE PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFTS WOLFTRAP.ORG/GIFT
mu
Thursday Dec 23 12:00 PM Smokin’ Lounge Pop, Rock, Jazz 2:30 PM Alpha Dog Blues Ensemble Acoustic. Blues 5:00 PM Kiss and Ride Blues, Jazz, Soul
e
Tuesday Dec 21 12:00 PM Billy Coulter Duo Acoustic Rock, Americana
Wednesday Dec 22 12:00 PM Driveway Jam Band Jazz 2:30 PM Hula Monsters Hawaiian Swing 5:00 PM The Lovejoy Group Jazz, Holiday
zz &
Monday Dec 20 12:00 PM Stefan Sullivan Vintage Pop/Honky Tonk Piano 2:30 PM All New Genetically Altered Jug Band Jug Band 5:00 PM Ian Walter & Friends Updated Classics
WOLFTRAP.ORG/HOLIDAY-SING
ja
Saturday Dec 18 12:00 PM Karen Collins & Backroads Band Honky Tonk, Country 2:30 PM Kentucky Avenue Modern Americana
Sunday Dec 19 12:00 PM The Capital Hearings A Cappella 2:30 PM Lilt Irish, Step Dancers 5:00 PM Carly Harvey & The Experience Jazz, Blues
2:30 PM Snakehead Run Acoustic Blues 5:00 PM Los Caribbeat Caribbean
punk & indie
Friday Dec 17 12:00 PM Ruthie’s Acoustic Trio Americana 2:30 PM DJ Crown Vic Global Grooves 5:00 PM Fast Eddie & the Slowpokes Blue-Eyed Soul
5:00 PM Qilatse Project Ethio Jazz
-go o g
Thursday Dec 16 12:00 PM Dave Chappell Duo Guitar Roots 2:30 PM Elsa Riveros Spanish Rock 5:00 PM Swangbang Swing & Ragtime Guitar
WOLF TRAP’S HOLIDAY SING-A-LONG FROM HOME WITH SPECIAL GUESTS NOW STREAMING
2021 Photographs by Darrow Montgomery
The spilled French fries City Paper staff photographer Darrow Montgomery shot in September might as well be a metaphor for 2021. The year 2020 closed with news of a new president and promising results from COVID-19 vaccine trials, and the new year dawned with the promise and glow of a golden fried potato. Then, six days into January, hordes of insurrectionists stormed the Capitol, resulting in armed soldiers pacing our streets and the entire complex getting fenced off for more than six months. You’ll see images from those dark early days of the year in the following pages, but you’ll also see the ordinary and extraordinary things Montgomery captured while going about his life. Through his lens, we see a robin’s perch next to a stoop sculpture transform into an idiom, a dog’s paws disrupt fresh snow, and blossoms from a flowering tree blanket a lawn. His photos allow us to grasp these moments of joyful normalcy for a little while longer. Normalcy, of course, has yet to return. Passersby and public officials continue to wear masks or remove them briefly to pose for portraits. The colonnade at Union Station has become an outdoor photo studio. We’re still not sure how to best tour new apartments, despite how eager building managers may be to fill units. And yet the world keeps on spinning forward and the sky remains above us. Be they cloudy, sunlit and cerulean, or crosscut with a rainbow, they’re a constant reminder—for Montgomery and the rest of us—to keep looking up. —Caroline Jones 12 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
ABOVE: Mayor Muriel Bowser and D.C. Council Chairman Phil Mendelson WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 13
TOP LEFT: Inauguration Day, near the White House TOP RIGHT, LOWER RIGHT, LOWER LEFT: Inauguration Eve outside the U.S. Capitol RIGHT PAGE: 3400 block of 16th Street NW
14 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 15
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: 1100 block of Spring Road NW; unknown location; Beach Drive NW; Columbia Island Marina; 500 block of Upshur Street NW; 1600 block of Newton Street NW; 2700 block of S.Oakland Street, Arlington
16 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 17
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Jenari Mitchell, poet; Fly Zyah, 9-year-old singer; 3400 block of 11th Street NW
18 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: Don Zientara, record producer; 3100 block of Mount Pleasant Street NW; Lawrence Sapp, Paralympic swimmer
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 19
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Blair Road and Aspen Street NW; unit block of Pierce Street NE; 1700 block of Park Road NW; 3300 block of Brown Street NW; 1400 block of Otis Place NW; 1600 block of Newton Street NW
20 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Little Bacon Bear; Nzinga Tull; Marcelle Afram; Delan “Blue” Ellington; Larry Calhoun, DC Realtime News
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 21
FOOD YOUNG & HUNGRY
The ongoing effects of the pandemic prove that restaurants and bars need to become more efficient and better places to work to thrive in the future. By Laura Hayes @LauraHayesDC “It took 50 years for dining habits to transition from the home as the primary place for meals to the pre-pandemic world of large numbers of meals being eaten outside of the home. Then it took 24 hours in March of 2020 for a huge reversal,” says Ruth Gresser, chef-owner of Pizzeria Paradiso. Ever since, restaurants and bars have been reinventing themselves as restrictions fluctuate and consumer behavior changes. There are now more tools to protect against serious illness from the virus, but the pandemic continues and it’s tricky to predict when we’ll enter an endemic phase. Nearly two years of modified living have permanently altered most aspects of public life. Bar and restaurant professionals believe the hospitality industry must become more efficient across the board while simultaneously evolving into a more nurturing place to work. Diners, they say, also have a role to play. When restaurants had to operate as shadows of their former selves during the early months of the pandemic, some sent SOS signals to their ride-ordie regulars. Not knowing how long dining rooms would be closed or operating at reduced capacities, restaurateurs openly discussed their precarious positions and the support they needed. “It felt like a veil was lifted because, in an immediate moment, customers became aware of the dire situation,” says Republic Cantina owner Chris Svetlik. “In restaurants, our job is to hide the chaos, pretend everything is OK, apologize profusely, and bear the full brunt of anything going wrong.” Once the fourth wall fell, Svetlik and others felt confident setting time limits on reservations, charging cancellation fees, and talking candidly with diners about staffing and supply struggles. “Restaurants as theater—where staff are constantly adjusting the scene to accommodate guest behavior with few questions—has diminished in a way that’s healthy,” he says. The heightened transparency comes as some owners say it’s no longer possible for them to eat rising costs instead of passing them on to consumers. “Labor and food costs have increased to an extent that restaurants cannot absorb without increasing prices,” Gresser says. “Plus, the pandemic debt that restaurants took on to continue operations also needs to be paid back.” The government bailed some businesses out, but not all of them. Educating consumers about the true costs of a meal doesn’t have to feel like “sympathy talk,” according to Queen Mother’s Chef Rock Harper. “It’s so expensive and we don’t have people—those things are real and I don’t want to minimize them,” he says. “I hope we can educate consumers on how much it costs to get this beautiful piece of chicken to your plate instead of saying,
Marx Cafe ‘Woe is me.’” Harper, who sells fried chicken sandwiches out of a shared kitchen in Arlington, acknowledges that customers have also gone through a pandemic and might be on tighter budgets. Still, he says, restaurants need to be able to articulate their value. Everyone has to get paid, from the farmer and the trucker to the cook. That same notion, Harper says, applies to correcting customers’ toxic behavior. “With the respect piece, you’ve got to educate your customers on how to engage with us, what’s tolerated, and set clear boundaries in a graceful way like my grandmother would do.” Aggressive and dangerous behavior contributed to an exodus of hospitality employees during the pandemic. In the fall of 2020, some restaurant workers enrolled in de-escalation training with a local organization to learn how to spot objects that could potentially be used as weapons, like pint glasses, before approaching an unruly customer. Caitlin Schiavoni worked her final shift as a server and bartender last month and will now focus on her passion for wildlife preservation. She says enforcing the city’s strictest policies, such as the 10 p.m. alcohol curfew, caused distress. “People not putting on their masks and getting right up in our faces—it was ridiculous,” she says.
22 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
“We don’t make the rules, we’re trying not to get fined. We’re already here working in unsafe conditions. … A lot of the reason workers aren’t coming back is they saw how disposable they can be treated.” In addition to the city deputizing restaurant employees as COVID cops, D.C. reopened indoor dining two months before restaurant employees became eligible for vaccines and OK’d those Instagrammable igloos, fudging the definition of outdoor dining. Meanwhile, cooks had one of the most dangerous jobs during the pandemic and fled to other sectors, such as construction, where they had greater job security and felt less anxious about potentially contracting the virus. They were in good company. When bars and restaurants fully reopened earlier this year, not everyone rushed to clock back in. “People who saw this as some form of income and not passion found a different career path,” says The Green Zone bartender Will Alvarez. “They’ve gone into real estate or coding. I think all of us thought about it.” Alvarez stayed because his employer takes care of him. “We’ve done some form of [revenue] sharing to incentivize people to stay around and health and dental care are provided, things you wouldn’t normally see in restaurant jobs or bars before,” he says. When almost everyone is hiring, the power
Darrow Montgomery
Shift Change
dynamic shifts. Prospective employees feel empowered to demand better pay and benefits. “Everybody knows what their worth is now,” says Mick Perrigo, who almost left the industry to become a farmhand before landing a bartending job at Hook Hall’s Cocktail Club. Its parent company, Pirate Ventures, offers all workers access to an Employee Assistance Program, health care for full-time employees after 60 days, and a matching 401K after a year. “Not too many companies I’ve worked for put their employees first,” Perrigo says. Maria Bastasch is experimenting with how to pay staff at Disco Mary, a long-term pop-up with apothecary cocktails and vegan Mexican snacks. “I think back on even the most lucrative night I had [as a tipped worker] and don’t know if I felt fully compensated for the amount of labor I was putting forward,” she says. “And that’s me, who came from a privileged background.” She pays staff a minimum of $20 per hour, $4.80 more than D.C.’s minimum wage. “We think it needs to be more, but we’re working toward that goal,” Bastasch says. A 25 percent service charge, explained on the menu, helps the bar cover labor costs. Bastasch distributes a share of service charge money to kitchen workers. A number of bars and restaurants distanced themselves from tipping and instituted service charges during the pandemic when it was hard to predict how many customers would visit. Bastasch hopes her actions will inspire others. “Places that do have resources, whether that’s years of experience or name recognition, have a responsibility to start doing this so it becomes more normative,” she says. “We can almost use our privilege to blaze a trail.” While restaurants scramble to attract employees, restaurants are learning how to do more with less. Technology is often the answer when businesses need to operate more efficiently. Among the most discussed changes is the implementation of QR codes because they can challenge preestablished notions of service and hospitality. Bars and restaurants experimented with them when they only had a few employees on payroll. Some used them as a replacement for paper menus, while others asked diners to order and pay through them too. The QR codes didn’t disappear when restaurants fully reopened. They’re likely here to stay, despite some diners balking at using their phones during dinner. “I predict table service will be something very special in the future and only offered at fine dining restaurants,” says Jenn Crovato, chef and owner of 1310 Kitchen & Bar. “Asking your server what they recommend at more casual dining establishments may become a thing of the past at many places, with QR codes and food runners staying in place as an alternative.” She hasn’t started using QR codes at her restaurant yet, but thinks it might be inevitable. “The margins are so paper-thin at this point, you’ve got to figure something out.” The costs of integrating QR code technology into point-of-sale systems have already come down because of widespread use, according to Walters Sports Bar owner Jeremy Gifford. “I can now, for $50 a month, throw a QR code on all of my tables and essentially replace my servers,” he says. He used to need 15 to 20 servers on a busy night, but now he only needs six to eight. “I hate it and it takes the customer service and hospitality
FOOD YOUNG & HUNGRY someone sits down, you’re getting the money you need out of them as opposed to someone who [just] wants a snack and a beer,” he says. “There’s also less purchasing, less staffing, less prep work, and less electricity so you can maximize profit.” Cutting back on dishes staves off burnout in the kitchen, Shilling adds. But prix fixe menus can be prohibitively expen-
entered the consumer packaged-goods space, rolled out frozen-meal lines, and debuted subscription supper clubs featuring heat-and-eat meals. Stellina Pizzeria is behind one of the more novel approaches—a vending machine stocked with pasta kits, jarred sauces, desserts such as tiramisu in a jar, and gourmet coffee. It’s rotated to various locations and is now sitting in a residential build-
Darrow Montgomery
out of the business, but before and after a baseball game, it allows the masses to get a beer as fast as possible.” (So does Walters’ self-pour beer wall.) It’s possible to retain a human touch, according to Stellina Pizzeria co-owner Antonio Matarazzo. A bucket on each table at his restaurants contains a special red spoon. Raise it like a flag and a manager or a host will come over to answer questions or recommend wines. He says cutting back on front-of-house staff allows the pizzeria to keep its kitchen full and focus on the food. Servers might be worried about shrinking job opportunities, but a handful of owners insist QR codes enable servers to take larger sections of tables without being overwhelmed. “[QR codes] allow people who are passionate about food and wine to focus on that rather than schlepping from tables to computers,” Bastasch says. “Small transactions take up a lot of time when I could be talking about why hawthorn berry is incorporated into this cocktail.” Schiavoni liked working at a bar with QR codes because she didn’t have to leave her drink-making space to hand customers menus. Plus, she says, printing paper menus isn’t environmentally friendly. The pandemic also popularized online ordering because anything contactless provided a theoretical extra level of safety. Dolcezza Gelato & Coffee switched its point-of-sale system to allow customers to order ahead even though coowner Robb Duncan laments putting lids on top of latte art and letting beverages sit too long. “It’s like drinking your Guinness out of a sippy cup,” he says. “But COVID-19 was from the future. All these things you heard about like Zoom conferencing appeared immediately overnight and became a way of doing business. It’s all in the name of existence.” As restaurants look to become more sustainable and prepare for unpredictability, Shilling Canning Company chef and co-owner Reid Shilling says to expect more prix fixe menus. In addition to a tight a la carte menu, his restaurant serves a $60 three-course menu with several selections per course and a $95 seven-course menu with different portion sizes of the same dishes. If you don’t know how many cooks you’ll have on the line or how many people will come in to dine, the best thing you can do, he argues, is streamline. Shilling explains other prix fixe plusses. “When
El Pollo Sabroso sive and the U.S. cultural norm of valuing as many choices as possible is hard to shake. “I know consumers are frustrated with selection and pricing,” Shilling says. “That’s why we change the menu every two to three weeks. I can’t offer you 20 entrees tonight, but I can offer three tonight and three totally different ones in two weeks and you’re getting the best of what we have to offer every day.” The pandemic also forced chefs to develop new revenue streams that met diners in their homes. They launched takeout-only ghost restaurants,
ing in Buzzard Point where Stellina regularly holds pasta classes. The pandemic also changed where restaurateurs choose to locate their businesses to better set themselves up for lasting success. Mark Bucher, who is trying to open 20 Medium Rare steak frites restaurants in five years, is done with leasing empty shells. “Would you rent an apartment if they said there’s no walls, no air-conditioning, no bathrooms, no floors?” Bucher asks. “As an industry, what are we doing? Why are we letting developers
or landlords say, ‘You’re a restaurant, you have to build the whole thing.’ I cook food, I don’t build.” He thinks developers can get projects done faster and more cheaply because of their connections, but restaurant owners are so eager to beat their competitors to a space that they ink crummy deals. “They saddle themselves with bad economic real estate decisions that are like getting herpes in college—it never goes away,” Bucher says. Restaurateur Erik Bruner-Yang believes future tenants will focus more on protecting themselves before signing leases. Business interruption insurance failed to kick in and rescue restaurants when they couldn’t operate because “global pandemic” wasn’t in the fine print. “Try exploring more opportunities to own the buildings you’re in,” he says. “All of the money we put into these properties, someone else is benefiting from that. It might take three to six more months to do the project you want to do and it might not be the 100 percent perfect location, but the best way to invest in your future and protect yourself from a pandemic-related event is to own your land.” That location might not be in the District. “Suburbs are going to rule in terms of opening and where businesses are going to succeed,” says Julie Verratti, co-founder and chief brand officer of Denizens Brewing Co., located in Silver Spring and Riverdale Park. “Everyone is working from home in D.C. Why would you proactively drive from a suburban home to downtown D.C. to go to happy hour when you can go two blocks up the street?” Verratti wonders how many of her colleagues will opt to renew when their 5- and 10-year leases expire out of sheer exhaustion. “There’s no more joy left, which sucks because people who go into this want to make people happy and throw a party,” she says. “That’s not a happy way to send people into the holidays, but it’s the truth.” “Today, the bloom is off the restaurant industry rose,” Gresser adds, before offering a shot of optimism. “But people love food, they love to eat, and they love to gather. And then there are those of us who love to cook and love to care for others. At its heart, the restaurant industry is still about hospitality, comfort, nourishment, and sustenance, and the bloom will never be off that rose.”
HEY 2030, SEE YOU AT COLLEGE. dccollegesavings.com
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 23
Beverlie Lord-Satsun Photography
ARTS MUSEUMS
Building a Better Future The National Building Museum has a new executive director, new exhibits, and big goals for climate change and equity. By Sarah Marloff �� @sarahmarloff There’s a large blemish on the conference table in Aileen Fuchs’ fourth-floor office in the National Building Museum. “This is our claim to fame here,” says Fuchs, pointing to the scar. “Princess Diana, she came to an event here and her people needed to iron her dress quickly.” The outfit was ironed on the unassuming oak table in the mid-1990s, but in everyone’s haste, the table was burned. It still bears the iron mark, as if memorializing the princess’ visit. Of course, that’s not the Building Museum’s only “claim to fame.” Built between 1882 and 1887, 401 F St. NW was designed to house the U.S. Pension Bureau’s headquarters and create a glamorous space for the city’s major social functions. In 1885, before the roof was finished, the building held President Grover Cleveland’s inaugural ball (a temporary wooden roof was constructed in an effort to warm the space). Since then, the grand building, complete with massive gold-topped columns, has been the site of many presidential balls well into recent years. (Both Presidents Obama and Trump hosted events there.) But the National Building Museum of today opened in 1985, seven years after Congress called for historic preservation of the building and five years after it mandated the museum’s establishment as a private, nonprofit educational institution. Now, after being closed for nearly a year and a half due to the Great Hall’s floor repair, which began in Nov. 2019, and COVID-19, the museum is going through a new transformation that seeks to tackle climate change while also pushing for greater equity in the design world. Fuchs was named the fifth president and executive director in March 2021, and she officially took the reins in May following the mid-2020 retirement of Chase Rynd. At 41, Fuchs is the youngest person to lead the Building Museum, and is its second woman executive director. She’s also among a collection of people who stepped into leadership roles in the midst of the pandemic. It’s no wonder that change is taking place within the museum’s storied walls. “I think there’s a license and a runway to throw out the old rule books,” Fuchs says of current times. She calls the creation of a new rule book “both scary and exciting,” but she exudes excitement. Museums are rarely described as energizing, but that’s the undeniable feeling inside the museum these days. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, transportation was responsible for 14 percent of global emissions in 2010. While cars and other motorized vehicles are usually targeted as a leading source of greenhouse gas emissions, materials in the museum’s new visitor center note that “the built environment is responsible for nearly 40 percent of carbon emissions worldwide.” The three-room visitor center
offers a grounded starting point for exploring the museum. The second room, in which the skylines of 14 major U.S. cities are on display, introduces guests to the basic ideas of the built environment— buildings, landscape, public space, and transportation. It also highlights some data about the realities of the building industry. “Just the amount of fossil fuels you burn in these buildings for electricity is like 13 percent of carbon emissions,” Fuchs says. “I don’t know if people know that—a big part of what I want to do here is make all these things more accessible.” The final room of the visitor center is clad in gray wall panels displaying various building materials (including the National Museum of African American History and Culture’s siding). But what’s most fascinating is the table covered in more than a dozen sustainable materials, including a low-carbon, hemp-based cement and colorful IceStone, a sustainable surface made from recycled glass (like beer bottles) that’s handcrafted at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, where Fuchs previously worked as the executive director of exhibits and programs. Though lovely to walk through, the visitor center is the museum’s launching point into greater climate issues. On Nov. 16, the museum kicked off Climate ABC, an ongoing program that focuses on the three crucial areas that must be addressed in order to limit the effects of climate change: action—by individuals, businesses, nonprofits, and policy makers; the building of physical structures and landscapes; and the communities battling to reduce carbon emissions. It’s called ABC for a reason. Fuchs hopes referencing the alphabet signifies the virtual program’s accessibility. The idea is to create a two-pronged approach: an engaging curriculum aimed at further educating the general public about the impacts the built environment has on quality of life, as well as changing industry practices for a sustainable future; and roundtable B2B discussions between various professionals focused on encouraging identifiable change within the building industry. Recent conversations have focused on metrics around the tools and language used to understand what it means to have a net-zero building, or how to accurately measure the impacts of a sustainable development or a “healthy building” on a community. But Fuchs says the conversations are also addressing what those buzzwords really mean. Climate ABC will share new technologies and best practices taking place around the globe, including urban regeneration, adaptive reuse, decarbonized development, and rainwater recapture. Within these talks, Fuchs sees opportunities to connect people in different professional silos by getting them on the same page sooner to create an incubator for action. She explains, “We’re thinking we can convene [topics and people] that might connect dots in new ways.” Climate ABC’s potential for impact depends
24 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
on the museum’s connections to leading developers, designers, and the American Institute of Architects. The work Fuchs is setting in motion is not “revolutionary” but “evolutionary,” she says. NBM has been committed to addressing climate change for much of its existence; Fuchs points to a 2003 exhibit on sustainability to emphasize the museum’s legacy of caring about climate. What’s changing now, Fuchs says, is more and more people—including entities on the museum’s board— realizing their contribution to climate change and deciding to be part of a collective solution. It’s a lofty goal for a museum, but that doesn’t seem to deter Fuchs, who points to the institution’s biggest fans: kids and building industry professionals. That connection is a key part of the museum’s plan to drive climate action. Through Climate ABC, NBM is also building out its education department for students and budding climate activists. “To me, part of what we do is inspiring the next generation—people who are going to have even more on their shoulders,” Fuchs says. It’s also a major component of a pipeline of sorts that NBM hopes to create for children of all identities to see themselves as designers, architects, and builders, professions dominated by White cisgender men. Stepping into the role of ED, Fuchs has made her leadership philosophy clear: “You bring your whole self to work every day … I’m a woman, I’m a mom, and those elements of who I am are going to inform my priorities right now.” To have a real impact on the building world— not to mention lay claim to caring about creating a more equitable society—Fuchs says it’s important the museum recognize that, systemically, women and people of color have been frequently kept out of leadership roles. “So, what are we going to do about it?” she asks. For starters, she wants to continue the museum’s legacy of hands-on, experiential learning exhibits for kids, which can lay the groundwork for “transformative sparks” that might someday lead to careers. She also sees the museum getting more engaged with STEAM learning to complement workforce development initiatives prioritizing the hiring of women and people of color. “I want to make sure we’re doing everything to make sure those professional opportunities and mind-set— that we’re doing our part to make that feel accessible,” she says. Making the profession and the museum feel more accessible also means exhibiting work that some fear is too political for a museum with no political affiliation, such as the current The Wall/ El Muro: What Is a Border Wall? exhibit, which looks at the infamous border wall between the U.S. and Mexico through the lens of architecture and design. It also examines the wall’s impact on the environment and includes objects found along the border, such as tampons and toothbrushes. The exhibit was originally scheduled to open in the spring of 2020 under Rynd, but due to the pandemic it opened last month, one of the first exhibits under Fuchs.
The National Building Museum’s new executive director, Aileen Fuchs “I feel very clear: It is not our place, nor our role to be political,” Fuchs says. “It’s our role to advance knowledge, share new perspectives, and I fundamentally believe that the wall is one of the most defining, biggest, challenging built environment issues of the past century.” As an institution telling a national story about the built environment and its impacts on lives and communities, Fuchs says, “We have to do this.” According to the exhibit notes, The Wall/El Muro argues “for a more nuanced understanding of the borderlands and new ways for visitors to think about this issue moving forward.” Considering only the environmental impacts, the wall bisects six eco-regions, causes increased flooding, and interferes with animal migration, food supplies, and habitat, among other issues. To those who say the wall is political, Fuchs says the exhibit reframes the issue and believes, just maybe, the pandemic’s stay-at-home orders can help people relate to what happens at the wall. “A lot of people felt a sudden, heart-palpitating fear of being trapped, controlled. Welcome to the border. This is happening all the time,” Fuchs says. “Because of this unprecedented time in human experiences right now, maybe there’s also an opportunity for empathy around receiving that story that previously wasn’t there.” Fuchs reiterates how current times—the ongoing pandemic and ongoing crisis of racial and social inequity amid the climate crisis—is making people care more about building a better world. “It sounds a little Pollyanna, but it’s not. I really believe that. And I really believe that people are awake to the world that has been built around them … in a way that they never have been before.” The National Building Museum is open Fridays through Mondays, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. The Wall/El Muro will be on display through Nov. 6, 2022.
Now thru January 16 | Opera House Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600
Now he’s dedicated to building a stronger energy grid in DC. Our workforce is driven to enhance the energy grid with smarter, stronger, and cleaner solutions. Learn more about what we’re doing for you at pepco.com/Grid
Powered by: Experience
“
Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540
Major support for Musical Theater at the Kennedy Center is provided by
Kennedy Center Theater Season Sponsor
SO VIVACIOUS YOU’LL BE GRATEFUL FOR THE
OPPORTUNITY TO BREATHE IN
ITS BUOYANT AIR OF AFFIRMATION. ” – THE WASHINGTON POST
Must close January 2 Photo of RENT cast by Christopher Mueller.
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 25
ARTS FEATURE Courtesy of Rosie Cima & What She Dreamed
Get There Early If you’ve got tickets to see the headliners, don’t miss the opening acts By Brandon Wetherbee Contributing writer If there’s one thing we know about going to shows by now, it’s this: Don’t sleep on the openers—they’re just future headliners. Also, since you paid for the ticket, you might as well see each performer on the bill. But to help you figure out which shows deserve your time and attention, we’ve rounded up six opening acts from six concerts between now and Jan. 16 that are worthy of a timely attendance. Some are local, some are international, one is playing their first D.C. concert—ever, another has performed a few thousand times. So whether you’re going to a rock show in a pie shop, a rap show on the Wharf, or a reunion show at 9:30 Club, there’s often a good reason to get there early. Dec. 16: Rosie Cima & What She Dreamed, opening for Cal Rifkin and Moozy at Pie Shop
Dec. 18: Hedge Rider, opening for Heaven Forbid at Slash Run This show makes the Get There Early cut because of the venue (Slash Run) and headliners Heaven Forbid, which features former members of Baby Bry Bry & the Apologists. For $5, at one of D.C.’s best burger bars, and cosigned by one of the city’s best frontmen (the aforementioned Baby Bry Bry), the first show from Hedge Rider is going to be something to see. Billed as “city lit psych folk,” Hedge Rider features members of The Shirks and The Wild Cats and will pair nicely with Heaven Forbid’s Hank Williams-inspired country. It’s a night featuring two not-punk bands made up of members of former punk bands at a punk bar with the Ramones painted on the outside. Hedge Rider go on at 9 p.m. at Slash Run, 201 Upshur St. NW. slashrun.com. 21 and up. $5.
Rosie Cima & What She Dreamed Dec. 19: Reagan Cats and Tosser, opening for Stuck at Songbyrd Opening act Reagan Cats give strong Franz Ferdinand vibes in sound, style, and name. The Baltimore band’s newest release, See It All, is slicker and shinier than the headliners on the bill. But this show has two openers. Support act, Tosser, is a solid, four-person modern garage rock band from D.C. that would fit quite nicely as an afternoon act during a daylong festival. With their short, ’90s-inspired, guitar-filled songs, they’re also in the running for best rock band in the city. Both acts, however, are a fine representation of what Baltimore and D.C. sound like right now. Along with Stuck, this is another well-rounded bill of local and regional acts at Songbyrd. Reagan Cats go on at 7 p.m. at Songbyrd, 540 Penn St. NE. songbyrddc.com. All ages. $12–$14. Dec. 29: Laura Jane Grace, opening for Thursday at 9:30 Club One of the most surprising aspects of Laura Jane Grace’s career is her versatility. From the anarcho acoustic punk on the first Against Me! recordings and the Butch Vig-produced attempts at mainstream rock success on New Wave and White Crosses to a more DIY sound on Transgender Dysphoria Blues and solo Americana-inspired records, and a seemingly
26 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
Courtesy of Amy Reid
Local indie folk artist Rosie Cima crafts songs that work well when she plays solo or with her band. At this gig you’ll get the full sound, allowing for some extra catharsis on songs such as “Stuck” and “Waxwing.” Their 2021 album, Realm of the Warring Gods, is a fine showcase for Cima’s strong vocals and the band’s musicianship. For fans of Hop Along, there’s some quiet-loud-quiet and lyricism that rewards actually listening to the lyrics. Cima and her band are an act that could help flesh out many bills looking for some coffeehouse or jam band music vibes. And yes, that’s a compliment. Rosie Cima & What She Dreamed go on at 8 p.m. at Pie Shop, 1339 H St. NE. pieshopdc.com. All ages. $12–$14.
never-ending tour, Grace is entering Bob Dylan or Phish territory. Like those legacy acts, Grace is able to pull from nearly 25 years of recordings to represent what she wants to present on any given night. Her solo shows feature a different set list each gig, touching on each era and giving listeners a different career overview nightly and devotees a reason to see every show. Few lifer acts remain this relevant and exciting in decade three. Laura Jane Grace goes on at 7 p.m. at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. 930. com. All ages. $35. Jan. 7: Joony, opening for Key! at Union Stage Maryland local Joony, 21, makes laid-back hiphop full of tales of paranoia that is the perfect soundtrack for the here and now: His tracks recall the music taking over Instagram Reels and TikTok. Joony’s recently released Proud of U EP features six songs and clocks in at less than 14 minutes, but it never feels rushed and has the potential to be the sound of next summer. With a sound that’s a little bit A$AP Ferg, and a little bit Post Malone,Joony just may end up headlining Union Stage in a few months and Fillmore Silver Spring later next year. For now, Jooney goes on at 8 p.m. at Union Stage, 740 Water St. SW. unionstage.com. All ages. $45–$120.
Amy Reid Jan. 14: Amy Reid, opening for Andrew Toy at DC9 Of all the artists in this preview, no one builds worlds like Baltimore’s queer electronic artist Amy Reid. Her soundscapes/songs are calming, but not “easy listening.” It’s quite easy to zone out to her music, full of subtle synth lines and music that seems like it was always there, but still draws you in. Reid’s most recent EP, Dome Trax, washes over you, giving a lingering feeling of loss once it’s over. It’s powerful stuff that only really hits once it’s gone away. Headliner Andrew Toy will have the unenviable task of following Reid. Amy Reid goes on at 7:30 p.m., at DC9, 1940 9th St. NW. dc9.club. All ages. $12.
ARTS FILM
ARTS GALLERIES
Incompetence and corruption are central to Nightmare Alley, a noir fable about an ambitious con man. Director and co-screenwriter Guillermo del Toro is known for creature features, and while there is nothing supernatural in his latest release, some of his characters are downright monstrous. Parts of the film are immersive, thanks to strong supporting performances and colorful production values that exaggerate urban versus rural settings separated by more than socioeconomic class. But there is too much ambition and bloat, to the point where the story of one man’s downfall goes in too many directions. It is ironic, since its best twists could lead to a memorably lean, vicious film. When we meet Stan (Bradley Cooper), he is a man of few words. He’s left home under mysterious circumstances, and finds work in a traveling circus. Menial labor is all he is good for, at least until he starts learning the tricks of the trade (everyone calls him “kid,” as a running gag—despite Cooper being well into his 40s). Stan sees the power each sideshow act has on the audience, as well as the deception that makes such acts possible. Whereas longtime carnies such as Clem (Willem Dafoe) and Zeena (Toni Collette) view their craft as little more than a vocation, Stan discovers an addictive sense of superiority. Despite warnings from his fellow carnies—veterans such as Dafoe and Collette bring instant credibility with them— Stan develops a new “mentalist” act with Molly (Rooney Mara), who falls for his charms. The upper crust become their targets, not the saps in the Dust Bowl, and their deep pockets bring an added sense of danger. Nightmare Alley is the second film adaptation of a novel by William Lindsay Gresham. The first came out in 1947, with Tyrone Power playing the lead role. Aside from the color palette and special effects, the biggest difference between the films is how del Toro and coscreenwriter Kim Morgan opt to “show” and “tell” each deception. The original moves at a steady clip, trusting the audience to keep up, whereas this Nightmare Alley grinds to a halt so we learn, along with Stan, each new detail of the business. Sometimes this approach is necessary—the term “geek show” is not as ubiquitous as it was in the 1930s and ’40s—except the film suggests that del Toro does not trust the power of his own imagery. Shrewd audiences can fill in the missing holes—at least that’s what the filmmakers behind the 1947 version believed. Between the frequent “lessons,” and the additional historical subtext, del Toro’s “kitchen sink” approach tries too many things at once. All the digressions have the added effect of diminishing Stan’s descent into hell. His
character development is the film’s lodestar, our way of understanding each betrayal and daring deception, though the bloat means it unfolds out of necessity, and not inexorably. Noir is a moralistic genre because we understand each choice the noir hero makes—even when they are horrific—and we can trust the film will restore order by having the hero fall lower than they imagined. To its credit, Nightmare Alley does all that, albeit without tying it so strongly to character. Later in the film, Stan falls into an elaborate scheme with Lilith (Cate Blanchett), an unscrupulous psychologist whose manipulation is not as explicit as the genre usually gets. Blanchett is seductive as a femme fatale, maybe a little aloof, but her final scene with Cooper leaves more questions than answers. Del Toro and his team depict wildly different parts of midcentury America. There is an intense, almost wordless scene where Stan tracks a depraved geek through a fun house; the eye-popping practical effects also serve as clever foreshadowing. When Stan courts Molly with the assistance of a merry-go-round, we see how the carnival’s charms win over even seasoned performers. The latter scenes, including a wintry art deco depiction of urban wealth, are not as successful because they are outside of del Toro’s wheelhouse. Instead, and in search of vigor, the filmmaker pulls from his wheelhouse by injecting flashes of gore and violence—the film earns its R rating several times over. Though not always necessary, the crimson sprays of blood cannot cover characters who don’t sell their way into unscrupulous, violent conduct. An intriguing subtext to Nightmare Alley is Stan’s attempts to erase his history. We see the occasional flashback, and Stan’s choices prove he believes social climbing will make him a better person. Characters do terrible things throughout this film, and yet nothing cuts deeper than when Lilith tells Stan, “You’re nothing but an Okie with straight teeth.” For all its overabundant exposition, that line sets in motion Stan’s true downfall, and where del Toro finally finds the inexorable path his film should have always pursued. Cooper is stiff for much of the film, except on this last path, which also opens up his performance and leads him to a kiss-off line that is more frightening and ghastly than anything leading up to it. Those final delicious, macabre minutes might be enough for you to forgive its discursions, if only because it is clear Stan finally realizes he can never forgive himself. —Alan Zilberman Nightmare Alley opens in area theaters on Dec. 17.
Shattering Expectations The Renwick Gallery’s New Glass Now showcases the many arts of glass By Stephanie Rudig Contributing writer Glass is a mutable and far-reaching medium, ubiquitous in our windows and electronic screens, yet still a harbinger of taste and luxury in chandeliers and stemware. Working with glass can be rigorously technical, requiring precise temperature control and chemical balances, but it also lends itself to playful material experimentation and creative problemsolving. For the traveling exhibit New Glass Now (currently at the Renwick Gallery), the Corning Museum of Glass in Corning, New York, put out an open call for glass artists to submit recently produced creations, and a panel of artists, curators, and writers selected the final works. The result is a show that takes the temperature of a discipline that is constantly innovating and evolving, capturing works that are often poetic, brash, and even a little bit camp. Sometimes it’s best to ignore the wall text and let the work speak for itself, but here and elsewhere in the exhibit, the panelists offer crucial insight into the complex processes that went into making the show. C. Matthew Szösz’s “Reservoir” features glass spun on a rope-making machine to create thin threads that could be woven into a basket, a fact that most probably wouldn’t know just by looking at it. A collaboration between artists and researchers, “Lapi Boli Project” features pâte de verre, or glass paste, that has been thrown on a pottery wheel like clay to make vases. An accompanying video breaks down the process and shows it in action; more of the pieces could use similar explainers to highlight the more head-scratching techniques. A key component of glass is obviously its tendency to break, but only one piece, “Things Change” by Maria Bang Espersen, is in serious danger of busting. The artist’s clear vases are embedded with rocks and other debris, some with fractures beginning to form, and the wall text suggests that the underlying tension could cause them to shatter at any moment. Other works appear to be more durable than the average Mason jar. Nadège Desgenétez’s sensual body-inspired forms are blown, mirrored, and hand-sanded to give them the uncanny appearance of brushed metal. The rich tradition of material exploration in glass art is evident in Karina Malling’s still life “Transcendence,” which displays a remarkable range of experimentation, including pieces that have been cast, polished, chiseled, and melted. The result is an incredible array of colors and textures that mimic everything from concrete and sponges to crystals, showcasing the vastly different treatments that can be done in glass art. A series of stop-motion animations by Tomo Sakai goes all the way back to the root of glassmaking itself, using yet-to-be-heated glass sand to form moving images.
Smithsonian American Art Museum
Nightmare Alley Has Lots of Monsters But No Creatures
Installation photography of New Glass Now, Renwick Gallery of the Smithsonian American Art Museum, 2021, Courtesy of Smithsonian American Art Museum; Photo by Albert Ting Glass is perhaps not immediately thought of as a vehicle for protest or social criticism, but several pieces in the show upend that preconception. Tamás Ábel’s 33” Rainbow is a mirror covered in a rainbow flag of glass, which the artist used to reflect colors onto landscapes in his native Budapest and in D.C. for a video piece that works as an affirmation of queer existence. Suzanne Peck and Karen Donnellan’s “Blow Harder: Alternative Lexicons for the Hotshop” is a delightfully rude yet thoughtful unpacking of the very sexualized language used in glass hot shops. If the term “glory hole” seems juvenile, try the more feminist “G-spot” or the loftier “chamber of the glorious corona of life-affirming heat” instead. The functional objects on display are no less inventive or technically proficient. Beakers, vases, and lamps are all given their due, as are countless glasses, tumblers, and bottles. It’s enough to make anyone feel the need to give their bar cart a serious upgrade. A supplementary section titled “New Glass Then” refers back to another Corning exhibit that traveled to the Renwick in 1979, New Glass: A Worldwide Survey. This display reinforces the Renwick’s history of boosting glass art as a discipline deserving of serious artistic consideration and pulls pieces from the gallery’s permanent collection by artists who participated in that show. These older works pair well with the more modern collection that precedes it, adding context to the newer pieces and demonstrating the various ways the medium has expanded. The wall text for a work by Dominick Labino explains that the artist was an engineer and a pioneer in the glass art field, relentlessly curious about the seemingly limitless properties of this material. According to the Smithsonian, Labino once said, “There’s no end to glass…no end to it!” and it turns out he was right. New Glass Now runs to March 6, 2022, at the Renwick Gallery of the Smithsonian American Art Museum, 1661 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. renwick. americanart.si.edu. Free.
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 27
Ongoing
Dec. 16
Courtesy of Sidney Edelmann
CITY LIGHTS December weather in D.C. may not be as warm as Brazil, but you can still drink caipirinhas and sing along to tuneful Brazilian samba and forró at Bossa Bistro’s Pablo’s Baile, on Dec. 16. This every-third-Thursday event at Adams Morgan’s cozy restaurant meets nightclub is led by Pablo Regis and his band. The musician plays both the cavaco, a four-stringed cavaquinho that looks like a small guitar, as well as the Brazilian frame drum known as a pandeiro. He describes the cavaco as a “phenomenal Brazilian fusion of percussion and guitar that brings together rhythm and harmony.” In addition to leading a band, Regis and his partner, Kate Spanos, founded the Maryland nonprofit EducArte, where they coordinate dance and drumming classes, and introduce Brazilian artists to the area via the organization’s Samba-Jig Productions. A D.C. resident since 2005, Regis was born in Los Angeles to Peruvian and Brazilian parents, moved to Brasilia, Brazil, at 11, and lived in Germany as a teenager before going to college at UCLA. As Regis’ Bahia-raised father was a musician and the cultural attaché for the Brazilian Consulate in L.A., he grew up hearing musicians playing in his home and attending Brazilian events. Today, Regis plays mainly covers of longtime Brazilian stars such as Djavan, Alcione, Clara Nunes, João Bosco, Martinho da Vila, and Seu Jorge. These artists blend lilting, call-and-response vocal melodies with percussive dance beats. Regis says, lyrically, some of these Brazilian Portuguese language tunes involve funny stories while others convey the Brazilian feeling of saudade—a deep melancholic longing. “Although not everyone in the audience understands the lyrics, I am able to convey the meaning and emotional content of the lyrics through my singing and playing,” says Regis. Pablo’s Baile starts at 10 p.m. on Dec. 16 at Bossa Bistro, 2463 18th St. NW. bossadc.com. $10. —Steve Kiviat
Pablo’s Baile
Pablo Regis
Little Gallery on Fessenden
In the first months of the pandemic, people made bread, took up knitting, and learned new hobbies to pass the time inside. Sid Edelmann, a retired resident of the Tenleytown neighborhood, had already picked up woodworking after leaving a career at the World Bank. His wife was already making pottery. By July 2021, those endeavors turned into Little Gallery, a bright spot in the neighborhood for artists young and old to display their craft. Edelmann built the wooden art gallery to include two shelves and a box for audio exhibits, opening up Little Gallery to artists from Friendship Heights, American University Park, and Tenleytown. The top shelf is reserved for adult artists, while the lower is for children. If you venture to the gallery now, you’ll find Stacy Marien’s advent calendar of knitted ornaments, Meghan Thompson’s acrylic paintings, and Betsy Paull’s rendition of “Let It Snow” on the ukulele. While confined to Fessenden Street, Little Gallery has had quite the reach. Since its debut, it has displayed works from 21 artists, highlighting poets, potters, photographers, stamp collectors, and a 3D topographical artist. And while books have never been featured, Edelmann’s Little Gallery was named Best D.C. Little Free Library, selected by city residents via the D.C. State Fair. The award brought those behind the community endeavor great cheer. In the hustle and bustle of the holidays, Little Gallery promises to put a smile on your face. Plus, 4400 Fessenden Street has something for everyone. Little Gallery sits next to Marien’s Little Free Library and a Stick Library for your furry friends. Visit Little Gallery out front of 4400 Fessenden St. NW. littlegallery.org. Free. —Sarah Smith
HOME OF THE DMV’S FINEST DANCERS
LUXURY VIP ROOMS • All Major UFC/Boxing Events • #1 Lap Dance Club in the DMV • Discreet VIP Parking
PRIVATE PARTY BOOKINGS AVAILABLE 11313 MARYLAND AVE. BELTSVILLE, MD, 20705 | THEBODYSHOPCLUB.COM | 240.297.9801 28 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
Find us on Instagram @thebodyshopclub MON-SAT 8:30PM-2:00AM SUN 8:00PM-1:00AM
SCAN ME FOR
$5 OFF ENTRY
Dec. 26
On sale now
The Pietasters, Kill Lincoln, Catbite at 9:30 Club
Carolyn Ambriano
The past, present, and future of local ska on one bill. D.C.’s finest eight-piece band, the Pietasters, are in their third decade of classic third-wave (if that’s possible) ska. This day-after-Christmas homecoming show should be everything longtime devotees are looking for: the comfort of Pietasters’ familiar sound in the beloved 9:30 Club. Also on the bill, D.C.’s Kill Lincoln make this reasonably priced show even more appealing. While they haven’t logged as much time as the Pietasters, they’ve been putting D.C. ska on the national map for the past decade, representing a modern sound with bona fides such as split releases from the likes of Less Than Jake. But it’s openers, Catbite, that make this show especially worth the time and money. Catbite feature some of Philadelphia’s finest ska vets, including Tim Hildebrand from the Snails and Dull Blue Lights and Chris Pires from Last Martyrs of a Lost Cause, but it’s lead singer Brittany Luna that sets the band apart. Her voice has tinges of Joan Jett and Brody Dalle from the Distillers, giving the ska band a welcome edge. Their sophomore LP, 2021’s Nice One, is ten tracks of ska pop crossover appeal. The longest track runs three minutes and 26 seconds, never allowing for any fat. If you’re a fan of the Specials and wish Olivia Rodrigo had some horns, really great keys, and a few claws, consider Catbite. You might like Catbite even if you don’t like ska. The show starts at 7 p.m. on Dec. 26 at 9:30 Club, 815 V St. NW. 930.com. $20. —Brandon Wetherbee Brittany Luna of Catbite
Courtesy of St. Clair Detrick-Jules
My Beautiful Black Hair: 101 Natural Hair Stories from the Sisterhood
St. Clair Detrick-Jules Natural Black hair continues to be a social and cultural debate with real-life consequences. The book My Beautiful Black Hair: 101 Natural Hair Stories from the Sisterhood is a cultural homage to Black women featuring testimonies of the burdens they’ve dealt with when choosing to wear natural hair. Author St. Clair Detrick-Jules, an award-winning Afro-Caribbean filmmaker, photographer, and activist, says her motivation for creating this book was based on the horrific bullying her 4-year-old sister experienced from non-Black classmates while living in France. Detrick-Jules, a Brown University graduate and D.C. native, was determined to prove to her little sister that natural hair is beautiful and that she’s not alone in dealing with hair discrimination. Traveling around the world for two years, photographing and recording personal stories of Black women to compile this beautifully crafted, visual anthology, Detrick-Jules noticed other communities of color experience similar hair bias. “I’ve heard from non-Black people in the Latinx and Asian communities, for example, that curly hair is often seen as less beautiful, and that many Latinx and Asian people feel the need to straighten their hair to be seen as beautiful,” Detrick-Jules tells City Paper. My Beautiful Black Hair’s collection of 101 photos of Black women’s natural hair, paired with impelling stories on their hair experiences—ranging from social discomfort, discrimination, denied education and employment to self-acceptance—lets the reader witness the repositioning of the natural hair movement, which for years has been overshadowed by Eurocentric beauty standards. The book serves as a platform for Black women to educate the world on the historical importance of their hair traditions. Detrick-Jules concludes, “I hope My Beautiful Black Hair offers an affirmation that natural hair is beautiful and worthy of love.” My Beautiful Black Hair is available wherever books are sold, including local Black-owned bookstores Mahogany Books, Loyalty Bookstores, Sankofa, and Solid State Books. stclairdetrickjules.com. $24.95. —Nelea (Lea) Johnson
Ongoing
Urban Forestry at Multiple Exposures Gallery Dec. 29
All Things That Sparkle: Sparkling Wine Guided Tasting Although many use the words sparkling wine and champagne interchangeably, “champagne” refers to bubbly produced in the Champagne region of France, a distinction so strict that European Union countries legally reserve the label “champagne” for sparkling wines grown in the country’s northeast region. Sparkling wine, on the other hand, is an umbrella term for a number of different carbonated wines, such as prosecco (sparkling wine produced in specific regions of Italy) and cava (Spanish sparkling wine). On Dec. 29, Union Market’s Vitis Wines will be hosting a guided tasting to elucidate some of these common misconceptions. Participants will get to sample six different sparkling wines—including cava, prosecco, and champagne (and maybe something sparkly from the U.S. too!)—while also getting all their undying questions about the fizzy beverages answered by the professionals. Of course, the tasting will also focus on how to truly taste the difference between the bubblies (hint: It’s all about the grapes used, sweetness levels, and fermentation process). After the tasting, attendees will have the opportunity to buy bottles, specially priced, to ring in the new year with a little sparkle. All Things That Sparkle starts at 6:30 p.m. on Dec. 29 at Alcove Next to District Fishwife, 1309 5th St. NE. Register at vitiswinesunionmarket.com. $15. —Hannah Docter-Loeb
Sarah Hood Salomon’s previous exhibit at Multiple Exposures Gallery, 2019’s The Spirit of the Woodlands, was all about ethereal depictions of trees. In her current exhibit, Urban Forestry, the trees have returned, as have Salomon’s warm, silvery tones, but they now share billing with the built environment. Some of Salomon’s choices this time “Borrowed Scenery” by Sarah Hood Salomon are bland, including images of a demolition site, a discarded Christmas tree, and a parking space hidden by greenery. But others are inspired. One image cleverly pairs the wall shadow of a trunk with an actual tree standing behind it; two others smartly contrast austerely rectangular bus shelters with the shimmering curtain of leaves in the background. The artist locates other unexpectedly pleasing couplings, such as a Seussian tree adjoining a gas station, and an awkwardly split tree planted amid a riot of aerial power lines. Stretching her boundaries, Salomon also experiments with scratched photographs, mixed-media works, and “sculptural photographs” that draw inspiration from telephone poles. Salomon’s urban forests are less pristine than the spirited woodlands of 2019, but perhaps their depiction of the natural world is more honest. Urban Forestry: Digital and Sculptural Photography is on display 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesdays through Sunday to Jan. 8 at Multiple Exposures Gallery at the Torpedo Factory Art Center, 105 N. Union St., Alexandria. torpedofactory.org. Free. —Louis Jacobson WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 29
DIVERSIONS SAVAGE LOVE My wife and I are in a great ENM marriage. We have two couples who we are friends with and get together regularly with for sex, and we each pursue solo FWB relationships. During COVID, we started posting pictures on Reddit, which were well received. This morphed into my wife starting an OnlyFans account because why not? So, at what point do we spill the beans to our FWBs? We don’t show our faces on OnlyFans, we use fake names, and we only post content made with people who know it’s going up on OnlyFans. Is this just “our secret” and doesn’t hurt anyone, so, who cares? Or do our FWBs have a right to know? —Posting Intimate Content
Spring State of the Arts is coming this February! Learn about advertising opportunities by contacting your account executive or emailing ads@ washingtoncity paper.com.
You’re under no obligation to tell your casual sex partners that you have an OnlyFans account where you share photos and videos you make with your other casual sex partners. OnlyFans seems like something you should be able to share with your FWBs, but “you should be able to” ≠ “you are obliged to.” —Dan Savage Cis-het Black woman. I have been working on myself for a while and a side effect of that is now I have standards and I am unwilling to settle for mediocre partners. For me, a quality partner is a cis or trans man (a penis haver) who is an ally to equality movements (sex, gender, race, etc.), emotionally healthy, kink-positive, and can afford their own life. Where does one find a person who meets these criteria? I’ve tried Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and FetLife, etc. with no luck. —Never Gonna Settle There is no settling down without some settling for. If you’re lucky, you’ll meet someone who comes close enough to what you want—an employed penis-having person, for instance, who’s an ally to equality movements everywhere but isn’t exactly kink-positive but has an open mind and could get there. Or an emotionally healthy, kink-positive penis-having student who isn’t rolling in dough right now but has a realistic career plan. And where do you find that guy? Well, you might get lucky and find him on one of the sites you’re already on—keep those profiles up and updated—or you might get lucky and meet him through friends, at work, in a bar, etc. Keep at it, NGS, because you never know when your bad luck is going to run out. —DS I’m a 34-year-old female and my husband (of only two years!) blindsided me by asking for a separation on my birthday in June and a divorce via text message a month later. We owned a home and ran a business together. Needless to say, this all sucks. I’ve had to start my entire life over again. I’ve settled into a new home with a new job and I’m trying to be a badass about the whole situation. But it’s been a lot. I’ve gone back and forth on when to start dating again. I feel mounting pressure to “get back out there” and I’m on the apps again but I bail about a week into every new flirtation. Why am I hesitating? —Balking At Love, Knowing I’m Nervous, Gah! Hmm, my guess is you might be hesitating, BALKING, because your soon-to-be-ex-husband stomped on your heart and turned your life upside down LESS THAN SIX MONTHS AGO. And you’re doing great: You got a new
30 DECEMBER 17, 2021 WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM
place to live, you got a new job, and you recently got back on the apps. Maybe you’re not ready to start dating again right this minute but getting back on the apps is a sign you will be soon. Lowering the temperature with the guys you’re connecting with online might help (be chatty, not flirty), as will keeping the stakes low on those first dates when you are ready (a quick coffee, not a dinner). You can do this! —DS I recently read this in your column: “PIV or PIT or PIB.” Ok, I know PIV (“penis in vagina”). But the other two? I’ve been reading you for years and I’m stumped on this! —Creative Acronyms Totally Confound Him Hmm, you probably could’ve worked this one out on your own, CATCH, if you’d given it a moment’s thought. Besides vaginas (PIV), where else do penises go? PIT stands for “penis in throat” and PIB stands for “penis in butt.” I could’ve gone with PIM (“penis in mouth”) and PIA (“penis in ass”), I guess, but why not go for the rhyme? (Oh, and ENM means “ethical non-monogamy.”) —DS
I just discovered your column. I’ve been reading you for a month. Four weeks, four disgusting columns. I do not give a rat’s ass about the sex lives of strangers. If you do not re-evaluate your content, I shall not continue to read. —Disgusted If you just finished reading your letter, D, and you’re reading my response now … you’re going to want to stop reading now. Because you’re really not going to like the next couple of letters. —DS I am a 24-year-old woman in a mostly happy marriage. My husband is not interested in oral sex. At all. Not giving it, not receiving it. This was the way I most consistently achieved orgasm in previous relationships. I miss this type of intimacy so much, I’m now curious about the legality of putting peanut butter on myself in hopes that my dog would come up to me on his own—unforced—and lick it off. I imagine this to be no different legally than a dog eating something out of your hand. I haven’t done it. But I am curious about your opinion. If you have other recommendations on how to get the specific sensation of oral sex when you don’t have a willing partner, I welcome your advice. —Disgusting Obsession Grosses Girl Out
You’re 24 years old and your sex life with your husband is so miserably unsatisfying that you’re seriously thinking about tricking your dog into eating you out, which is illegal in lots of places. (Since I don’t know where you live, DOGGO, you’ll have to google it yourself.) My advice: Put down the peanut butter and back away from it. Then get a divorce, get a lover (a human one), or get yourself one of those new clit-sucking sex toys that—according to the reviews I’ve read by clit-having people—do a pretty amazing job of simulating the specific sensations of oral sex. Hell, get all three! —DS I have a question about urethral sounding. My husband wanted me to do this to him for two years and I finally did. It was interesting! But I’m wondering what kind of harmful effects this could have if we were to do it long-term. —Making Enquiries About Taking Urethral Sounds Urethral sounding—sliding a well-lubed stainless steel rod into someone’s urethra—is an actual medical procedure with legit medical purposes (also easily googled!), but some people enjoy recreational sounding, both for how it feels (good, I’m told) and what it symbolizes (penetrating a penetrator’s penetrator). So long as you’re using sterilized sounds and sterile lube, you and your husband should be able to safely enjoy sounding on the regular. Besides upping his risk for the occasional UTI, there’s not much risk of harm, so long as you don’t force it, you stop if there’s pain or blood, and you have access to an autoclave. —DS Someone assigned male at birth, with male genitalia, but on estrogen to feminize their appearance and identifies as trans agender. Curious how to identify their sexuality. They are only attracted to people who identify as women or femme nonbinary. So how does someone without gender define their sexuality if they are only attracted to one gender identity? —Narrow Attractions Complicate Multifaceted Identity “It’s complicated.” Also, I’m pretty sure lumping all “women or femme-nonbinary” people into a single “gender identity” is incorrect (and would lead to a Title IX complaint at Oberlin). I mean, I’ve personally and biblically known gay men who identify as femmes and there are lots of femme-nonbinary people out there—AMAB, AFAB, ACAB—who would object to being lumped into a single category with mere women. It’s all so very, very complicated. Which is great, of course, because we can’t talk about climate change and the growing threat of authoritarianism all the time, right? —DS
Email your Savage Love questions to questions@savagelove.org.
CLASSIFIEDS Legal DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL Request for Proposal RFP for Locksmith Services: District of Columbia International School is seeking proposals for a locksmith to change interior door cores for approximately 50 doors and to create approximately 300 Hager keys. Proposals will need to include qualifications, related experience, estimated timeline and estimated fee per item. All proposals will need to be emailed to rfp@ dcinternationalschool. org. Deadline for submissions is close of business on Friday, January 7, 2022. Please specify “RFP for Locksmith Services” in the subject line. THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA HOUSING AUTHORITY REQUEST FOR QUALIFICATIONS SOLICITATION NO.: 0002-2022 VACANT UNIT REPAIR/ MAKE READY SERVICES The District of Columbia Housing Authority (DCHA) requires Vacant Unit Repair/ Make Ready Services throughout various DCHA properties. SOLICITATION DOCUMENTS will be available beginning Monday, December 6, 2021 on DCHA’s website at www. dchousing.org under “Business” and “Solicitations”. SEALED PROPOSAL RESPONSES ARE DUE ON OR BEFORE Tuesday, January 6, 2021 at 12:00 PM. Email LaShawn McLeod, Contract Specialist at LMMCLEOD@dchousing.org with copy to business@dchousing.org for additional information. LEARN D.C. PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL SOLICITS PROPOSALS FOR JANITORIAL SERVICES. Full RFP available upon request by e-mailing bids@learncharter.org. All proposals must be submitted in PDF format and emailed to bids@ learncharter.org no later than 5:00 PM on Wednesday, December 29, 2021. No phone calls please.
INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL Request for Proposals RFP for Architect to Draft Blueprint Designs: District of Columbia International School is seeking proposals for an architect to draft a blueprint to split one single person bathroom in our health suite into two separate single bathrooms. Please email us to let us know your interest, and we will send you additional details. Proposals will need to include qualifications, related experience, estimated timeline and estimated fees. Interested parties may email RFP@dcinternationalschool.org to arrange a time to visit DCI’s campus on January 14, 2022 to further evaluate the project. All proposals will need to be emailed to rfp@dcinternationalschool.org. Deadline for submissions is close of business on Friday, January 28, 2022. Please specify “RFP for Architect to Draft Blueprint Design” in the subject line.
Housing ONE BEDROOM NEAR CATHOLIC UNIV. Upgraded throughout. $1,639/mon Plus gas & electric. Call or text Joel Martin 202-498-1065 2819 4th St NE #1
Employment SEEKING RELIABLE LIVE-IN DRIVER In DC NW. Salary & apartment Joel Martin 202498-1065 Jn1martin@aol.com MCDOOGALS NIGHTCLUB seeking female dancers Want to have fun while earning Big $$$ Text 443-540-6119
Services IT-SERVICES JOINTECH LLC We do smart homes, troubleshoot and fix computers , high speed internet, Wi-Fi using cell, data 4G/5G for home and business. Call or text Ahmad 804-9444004, email: ahmad@ jointech-us.com. Web: www.jointech-us.com
CARLOS ROSARIO PUBLIC CHARTER SCHOOL REQUEST FOR PROPOSALS Carlos Rosario School seeks a qualified recruitment firm to help it identify the best candidate for its Chief Operating Officer. For further information and specifications, please contact Juan Carlos Martinez, Chief of Staff, at jmartinez@carlosrosario.org . All proposals are due by 5pm on Wednesday, December 29, 2021.
NEW FINE WINE AND SPRITS STORE @ 801 Maryland Ave NE with wide selection of craft beer, wines and spirits at very competitive price. Grand opening on December 10th between 3:00 pm to 6:00 pm (202) 290 - 3008, www. exoticwinespirits.com
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
SAVE MONEY ON
PHOTO/VIDEO PRODUCTION STUDIO With Infiniti Wall, Book NOW! www.PhotoAndVideoHut.com
EXPENSIVE AUTO REPAIRS! Our vehicle service program can save you up to 60% off dealer prices and provides you excellent coverage! Call for a free quote: 866-915-2263 (Mon-Fri :9am-4pm PST) NEVER PAY FOR COVERED HOME REPAIRS AGAIN! Complete Care Home Warranty COVERS ALL MAJOR SYSTEMS AND APPLIANCES. 30 DAY RISK FREE. $200.00 OFF + 2 FREE Months! 1-877673-0511. Hours MonThu, Sun : 9:30 am to 8:00 pm Fri : 9:30 am to 2:00 pm (all times Eastern) LEARN AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE American Sign Language (ASL) is an invaluable skill for everyone and fun to learn. Learning this unique language brings you to a new cultural awareness about the Deaf Community. You open up a new world filled with new people to meet and to develop different types of relationships. Sign up for a online class today! Visuallyspeaking. info COMPUTER & IT TRAINING PROGRAM! Train ONLINE to get the skills to become a Computer & Help Desk Professional now! Grants and Scholarships available for certain programs for qualified applicants. Call CTI for details! 1-855554-4616 The Mission, Program Information and Tuition is located at CareerTechnical.edu/ consumer-information. BATH & SHOWER UPDATES in as little as ONE DAY! Affordable prices - No payments for 18 months! Lifetime warranty & professional installs. Senior & Military Discounts available. Call: 1-877-649-5043 CABLE PRICE INCREASE AGAIN? Switch To DIRECTV & Save + get a $100 visa gift card! Get More Channels For Less Money. Restrictions apply. Call Now! 877-693-0625 STILL PAYING TOO MUCH FOR YOUR MEDICATION? Save up to 90% on RX refill! Order today and receive free shipping on 1st order prescription required. Call 1-855-750-1612 DISH TV $64.99 For 190 Channels + $14.95 High Speed Internet. Free Installation, Smart HD DVR Included, Free Voice Remote. Some restrictions apply. Promo Expires 7/21/21. 1-855-380-2501 4G LTE HOME INTERNET Now Available! Get GotW3 with lightning fast speeds plus take your service with you when you travel! As low as $109.99/mo! 1-888519-0171
HUGHESNET SATELLITE INTERNET – Finally, no hard data limits! Call Today for speeds up to 25mbps as low as $59.99/ mo! $75 gift card, terms apply. 1-844-416-7147 BECOME A PUBLISHED AUTHOR! We edit, print and distribute your work internationally. We do the work… You reap the Rewards! Call for a FREE Author’s Submission Kit: 844-511-1836.
Music PANDEMIC BLUES? Learn to play blues guitar and bass from brian Gross, award winning guitar instructor/blues guitarist/ band leader of BG and the Mojo Hands. Free lesson first month. Bgmojo.com 301-332-4242 ALWAYS LOOKING TO BUY RECORD COLLECTIONS, cash in hand. Interested in any kind of music, condition does not always matter, all formats considered. We buy record record albums, LPs, sets, 45s, 7", 78s, DJ 12", anything ! Will travel. All styles of music are welcomed, rock, hip hop, reggae, soul, r&b, heavy metal, alternative, house, punk rock, hardcore, industrial, jazz, indie rock, classic, rock, etc. Call our record hotline at: (240)242-3565.
Buy Sell Trade DONATE YOUR CAR TO KIDS. Your donation helps fund the search for missing children. Accepting Trucks, Motorcycles & RV’s , too! Fast Free Pickup – Running or Not 24 Hour Response - Maximum Tax Donation – Call 877-266-0681 CASH FOR CARS! We buy all cars! Junk, high-end, totaled – it doesn’t matter! Get free towing and same day cash! NEWER MODELS too! Call 866535-9689
Community LOOKING FOR INDIVIDUALS to discuss Fritz Lang and other classic black and white films and TV series. Contact Stevenstvn9@ aol.co
What’s your #City Paper Story? Visit washington citypaper.com/ wcp40 or use the #CityPaperStory hashtag on social media to submit your story!
Give the gift of local news.
LOOKING FOR INDIVIDUALS TO DISCUSS American foreign policy. Contact Stevenstvn9@aol.com.
Health & Wellness VIAGRA AND CIALIS USERS! 50 Pills SPECIAL $99.00 FREE Shipping! 100% guaranteed. CALL NOW! 888-531-1192 ISCHYRA SOMA FITNESS Comes to Mazza Galleria, Sept. 2021! Fitness for YOU!!
washingtoncitypaper.com/ membership
WASHINGTONCITYPAPER.COM DECEMBER 17, 2021 31
More speed. More wow. More value. Get incredible Internet at an incredible price — just $29.99 a month. There’s never been a better time to switch to Xfinity. Get Xfinity Internet with up to 200 Mbps for just $29.99 a month for 24 months. Want even more speed? NOW'S YOUR CHANCE to get 2x the speed for the SAME PRICE when you add Xfinity Mobile with Unlimited data. That’s mind-blowing speed at a special low price. Plus, get FREE professional installation. Get this deal before it’s gone!
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE
$29
99
a month for 24 months
Get
2x the speed
for the same price.
1-800-xfinity
Special Offer Xfinity Internet 400 Mbps
xfinity.com
with a 1-year contract
when you add Xfinity Mobile with Unlimited data and enroll in automatic payments and paperless billing.
Plus, get
FREE professional installation Offer ends 12/21/21. See details below.
Equipment, taxes and other charges extra and subject to change. See details below.
Visit a store today
Offer requires enrollment in both automatic payments and paperless billing. Must enroll within 30 days of placing the order. Without enrollment, the monthly service charge automatically increases by $10. The automatic payment and paperless billing discount is for a period of 24 months and will appear on the bill within 30 days of enrolling. If either automatic payments or paperless billing are subsequently canceled during the 24-month term, or if services are added or Internet tier changes, the $10 monthly discount will be removed automatically. Ends 12/21/21. Restrictions apply. Not available in all areas. New residential customers only. Limited to Performance Pro Internet service. Early termination fee applies if all Xfinity services (except Xfinity Mobile) are canceled during the agreement term. Guaranteed rate applies to monthly recurring service charge. Includes standard installation on up to four outlets. Equipment, non-standard installation, taxes and fees, and other applicable charges extra, and subject to change during and after agreement term. After term contract, regular charges apply. Comcast’s service charge for Performance Pro Internet is $95.95/a mo. and Blast! Internet is $100.95/mo. (subj. to change). Service limited to a single outlet. May not be combined with other offers. Internet: Actual speeds vary and not guaranteed. For factors affecting speed visit www.xfinity.com/ networkmanagement. 2x speed comparison based on monthly recurring charge for Xfinity Performance Pro Internet 200 Mbps and Xfinity Blast! Internet 400 Mbps with discount for adding new Xfinity Mobile Unlimited line. Must sign up for Xfinity Mobile and activate a new line within 90 days of Internet order and maintain the line to receive mobile discount for 24 months. Discount will appear on your Internet bill within 30 days of Xfinity Mobile activation. Must keep one line of Xfinity Mobile with Unlimited data and Blast! Xfinity Internet service for 24 months to receive $30/mo. discount. If you cancel Xfinity Mobile or change to By the Gig data, or cancel Blast! Internet, or Blast! Internet is downgraded within 24 months, you will no longer receive the Xfinity Mobile discount. Xfinity Mobile: Requires residential post-pay Xfinity Internet. Line limitations may apply. For Xfinity Mobile Broadband Disclosures visit: www.xfinity.com/mobile/policies/broadband-disclosures. Call for restrictions and complete details. © 2021 Comcast. All rights reserved. NPA238717-0001 V2
141922_238717 Last Chance N Perf Pro_9.875x11.25 v2.indd 1
11/24/21 10:23 AM