Washington City Paper (December 23, 2016) by Washington City Paper

CITYPAPER Washington

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Save McMillan Park

2016 IN REVIEW The Loosies, Plexies, Hungries, and more

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Free Volume 36, No. xx 52 WashiNgtoNCityPaPer.Com DeC. moNth 23–29, xx–xx, 2016 2016

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INSIDE 2016 In RevIew

This is the issue where we do the remembering for you with our dubious honors in local politics, development, sports, and dining. And the best in music, film, and images too.

4 ChAtter distriCt Line

7 The Loosies: The Green Team falters, Kaya Henderson falls from grace, and other honors. 9 The Plexies: D.C. talks affordability while it makes way for the rich. 11 Unobstructed View: It was more of the same this year in local sports. 12 Gear Prudence 12 Savage Love 13 Buy D.C.: Keep Yourself Warm

d.C. feed 15 The Hungries: The best and worst of D.C. restaurants in 2016 17 Pose’s Luxury: Less expensive sister restaurants to D.C.’s dining powerhouses 17 Hangover Helper: The New Yorker at Smoked & Stacked 17 Underserved: Hipnos at Dino’s Grotto

Arts 19 A Year in Our Ears: A breakdown, by genre, of our favorite releases, shows, and moments in local music. 22 Can’t Look Away: Our film critic’s favorite movies of 2016 24 Looking for Something: The year’s finest photographs exhibited in D.C.

City List 25 City Lights: Check out Oh Vey in a Manger Sunday at Theater J. 25 Music 27 Galleries 27 Dance 28 Theater 29 Film

30 CLAssifieds diversions

31 Crossword

On the Cover: Photos courtesy of Thinkstock: Proformabooks (pizza), Hemera Technologies (blueprint), Zoonar/J.Wachala (red crane), ImagePixel (grass), Mike Flippo (yard sign), Alexlukin (pineapple), Ryan McVay (basketball), georgecaswellphoto (trophy), WesAbrams (ping pong paddle), Kaycco (saxophone), Kaycco (sound board), koosen (rooster), Nastco (gavel), Paperkites (cassette), OwenJCSmith (shovel), gemenacom (police hat), Paperkites (record), EWRobinson (money)

Corpse flower photo by Nancy Anderson, Old Post Office photo by Mike Peel, Streetcar photo courtesy of DC Streetcar on flickr

washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 3

CHATTER

News You Can Refuse

In which readers throw shade on Jack Evans

Darrow MontgoMery

In response to Loose Lips writer Jeffrey Anderson’s piece last week about Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans’ questionable ties to the digital sign industry (“Billboard Baggin’,” Dec. 16) and his legislative efforts to make it easier for their products to proliferate throughout the District, Greg DuRoss took to the DupontForum email listserve to ask for an explanation: “Jack, your constituents in Ward 2 on these listserves are anxious to hear how your leadership in promoting billboards in the District, and quite likely in our Ward in the future if the proposed legislation passes, benefits them. … Please explain your position and provide your perspective concerning the assertions made in the Washington City Paper.” Evans responded curtly, “I don’t read City Paper.” Maybe he only reads things that flash and glitter. That was Evans’ last word on the matter. But another constituent offered an interpretation. “Translation: I don’t care if my constituents hate me. I just got re-elected unchallenged because corporate donations have so filled my coffers that no one was willing to run against me,” wrote Rob Halligan. Responses to Housing Complex writer Andrew Giambrone’s piece on a citizen “sting operation” identifying a Columbia Heights apartment building turned de facto Airbnb hotel fell into two camps, which were perfectly defined in a brief Twitter exchange between two readers. Elie Litvin (@ElieLitvin) tweeted, “So?” and Ryan Andrew Clarke (@RyanAClarke) responded, “idk lower income people who actually need a place to live on a daily basis might want to live there.” Litvin and Clark’s exchange was blunt, but it embodies the average resident tensions over any example of the District’s desperate affordable housing crisis. In his article on Ward 3’s collective meltdown over a proposed family homeless shelter (“The Ward Three Stooges,” Dec. 16), Giambrone quoted neighborhood commissioner Victor Silveira as saying, “This is not a NIMBY attitude. This is: There’s an elephant coming, can we cut it in half or in four so we can better digest it?” Robert Winship (@robert_winship) ate his lunch by responding on Twitter: “Victor Silveira confirms that Ward 3 residents know how to consume elephant, a known indulgence of the rich.” —Alexa Mills 800 BLoCk of 14tH StREEt NW, DEC.19

EDITORIAL

EDitoR: liz garrigan MANAGiNG EDitoR: alexa Mills ARtS EDitoR: Matt Cohen fooD EDitoR: laura hayes City LiGHtS EDitoR: Caroline jones StAff WRitER: andrew giaMbrone StAff pHotoGRApHER: darrow MontgoMery iNtERACtiVE NEWS DEVELopER: zaCh rausnitz CREAtiVE DiRECtoR: jandos rothstein ARt DiRECtoR: stephanie rudig Copy EDitoR/pRoDuCtioN ASSiStANt: will warren CoNtRiButiNG WRitERS: jeffrey anderson, jonetta rose barras, Morgan baskin, VanCe brinkley, eriCa bruCe, kriston Capps, ruben Castaneda, justin Cook, shaun Courtney, riley Croghan, jeffry Cudlin, erin deVine, Matt dunn, tiM ebner, jake eMen, noah gittell, elena goukassian, sarah anne hughes, aManda kolson hurley, louis jaCobson, raChael johnson, Chris kelly, aMrita khalid, steVe kiViat, Chris kliMek, ron knox, allison kowalski, john krizel, jeroMe langston, aMy lyons, Christine MaCdonald, kelly MagyariCs, neVin Martell, keith Mathias, MaeVe MCderMott, traVis MitChell, Quinn Myers, triCia olszewski, eVe ottenberg, Mike paarlberg, beth shook, Matt terl, dan troMbly, taMMy tuCk, natalie VillaCorta, kaarin VeMbar, eMily walz, joe warMinsky, alona wartofsky, justin weber, MiChael j. west, alex zielinski, alan zilberMan iNtERN: noa rosinplotz

ADvERTIsIng AnD OpERATIOns

puBLiSHER: eriC norwood SALES MANAGER: Melanie babb SENioR ACCouNt ExECutiVES: arlene kaMinsky, aliCia Merritt, aris williaMs ACCouNt ExECutiVES: stu kelly, Christy sitter, Chad Vale SALES opERAtioNS MANAGER: heather MCandrews DiRECtoR of MARkEtiNG AND EVENtS: sara diCk BuSiNESS DEVELopMENt ASSoCiAtE: edgard izaguirre opERAtioNS DiRECtoR: jeff boswell SENioR SALES opERAtioN AND pRoDuCtioN CooRDiNAtoR: jane MartinaChe puBLiSHER EMERituS: aMy austin

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CHiEf ExECutiVE offiCER: Chris ferrell CHiEf opERAtiNG offiCER: blair johnson CHiEf fiNANCiAL offiCER: bob Mahoney ExECutiVE ViCE pRESiDENt: Mark bartel GRApHiC DESiGNERS: katy barrett-alley, aMy goMoljak, abbie leali, liz loewenstein, Melanie Mays

LoCAL ADVERtiSiNG: (202) 650-6937 fAx: (202) 618-3959, ads@washingtonCitypaper.CoM FiNd a staFF diReCtoRY with CoNtaCt iNFoRmatioN at washiNgtoNCitYpapeR.Com VoL. 36, No. 52 DEC. 23-29, 2016 washington City paper is published eVery week and is loCated at 734 15th st. nw, suite 400, washington, d.C. 20005. Calendar subMissions are welCoMed; they Must be reCeiVed 10 days before publiCation. u.s. subsCriptions are aVailable for $250 per year. issue will arriVe seVeral days after publiCation. baCk issues of the past fiVe weeks are aVailable at the offiCe for $1 ($5 for older issues). baCk issues are aVailable by Mail for $5. Make CheCks payable to washington City paper or Call for More options. © 2016 all rights reserVed. no part of this publiCation May be reproduCed without the written perMission of the editor.

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FREE CONCERTS! National Symphony Orchestra comes to Southeast and Southwest DC!

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Full schedule and RSVP information at nationalsymphony.org/IYN David and Alice Rubenstein are the Presenting Underwriters of the NSO.

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The National Symphony Orchestra’s Community Engagement Program is made possible through the generosity of Mrs. Irene Pollin. Additional support is provided by Linda and Tobia Mercuro, The Morris and Gwendolyn Cafritz Foundation, Paul M. Angell Family Foundation, and Tina and Albert Small, Jr.

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Tomorrow’s News Today: This was the week the D.C. Council approved the nation’s most generous paid-leave legislation.

DistrictLine The Loosies

confidence, and two babies when his wife miscarried. He eventually got a job—in Saudi Arabia. The record shows Payne took the blows, and just two days before Thanksgiving a civil jury awarded him $1.7 million in damages, plus back pay and attorney’s fees. But it’s not necessarily a happy ending. D.C. Attorney General Karl Racine, who is said to be eyeing the mayor’s chair, is threatening to appeal the verdict. So this may go even more rounds. And since you brought up endless litigation, our ...

The Green Team falters, Kaya Henderson falls from grace, and other dubious 2016 honors By Bill Myers Hey, 2016, come on in. No, sit down. We need to talk. Look, Loose Lips loves you very much, but we’ve had a rough go. I just think we should see other years. There, there. I know it’s hard. Look, we’re not leaving you empty-handed. Whenever the wind whistles in the leaves, you’ll think, “Loosies.”

Mayor Muriel Bowser

Every Day I’m Shoveling Award

It goes to The Washington Post’s own Jo-Ann Armao. This year, the associate editorial page editor—the Larry King of local news— gave her all to help Mayor Muriel Bowser’s D.C. Council picks. She endorsed four candidates, three of whom lost. It’s almost as if print media were in some kind of decline. Speaking of those lovable D.C. Council losers, a shoutout to the winner of the ...

Came to Do Good, Stayed to Do Well Award

...goes (emphatically) to outgoing Ward 8 Councilmember LaRuby May. In Bizarro World, May’s apprenticeship under Marion Barry synthesized with her technocratic rhetoric and her alliance with Mayor Bowser’s Green Team to create such political energy that she’s already mayor of D.C. In these precincts of actual space-time, though, May’s just a soon-to-be ex-councilmember. But all is not lost for her. During May’s brief government tenure she made signifi-

Darrow Montgomery/File

The Cancel-Your-OwnDamn-Subscription Award

...goes to our own Mayor Bowser, who finds herself with ground to break but nothing to do at the McMillan Reservoir. The same civic titans who thought that Columbia Heights would look great have spent years assuring the good people of North Capitol Street that the mega-development of the old sand filtration plant would make their neighborhood extra spiffy. Somehow Bowser’s word just isn’t enough (what, is she letting Jo-Ann Armao write her stuff ?). Earlier this month the D.C. Court of Appeals sided with opponents in vacating zoning approvals for the city’s longest-running—and most complex and contentious— real estate project. So Bowser gets to “break ground” on a project that may never happen. Not every D.C. politico is so behind the curve, though, which is why our ...

cant headway with what LL can only politely call “partnerships” with cronies Monica Ray and Phinis Jones. It’s nearly impossible to take a stroll in Ward 8 without stepping on a May-Ray-Jones business interest. On the topic of causes not entirely lost ...

The Franchise Reboot Award

...goes to once (and future?) Mayor Vince Gray, who overcame Jo-Ann Armao’s endorsement rejection to earn a sequel to his Ward 7 councilship. Gray convinced voters that he was fully vindicated after the U.S. attorney’s investigation into illegal 2010 cam-

paign financing was shut down last year without his being prosecuted. But no sooner had Gray won his election than he was subpoenaed in the civil lawsuit of District whistleblower Eric W. Payne, who alleged that Gray had tried to rig a lottery contract for one of his old pals back in 2008. A lawyer from the D.C. Council showed up instead, solemnly asserting that any effort to put Gray under oath would outrage the sanctity of his right to parliamentary immunity. As for Payne, he is the clear choice for this year’s ...

“You Never Got Me Down, Ray” Award

Payne spent nearly seven years in litigation against the District, and took every punch they could land. He lost his home, his self-

One Step Ahead Award

...goes (emphatically, again) to former D.C. public schools Chancellor Kaya Henderson. Though the narrative around Henderson’s tenure was in many ways misinformed, Henderson was widely hailed as a savior of a school system beset by disparities in achievement. Even so, there were a few eyebrows raised when Henderson announced that she was leaving the job. The mystery cleared up when the AP got its hands on a “negotiated disposition” from the D.C. Board of Ethics and Government Accountability, in which Henderson was formally censured for shaking

washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 7

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DistrictLine

Darrow Montgomery/File

Kaya Henderson

down school vendors for contributions to a swanky gala. In the end, Henderson blamed someone else—her former patron Michelle Rhee—saying that her predecessor had done the same thing. While you’re thinking of Rhee, now’s a good time to mention that she’s this year’s proud recipient of our ...

Don’t Tease the Press Corps Award

Times are tough all over, but reporters are usually more articulate in their whinings. So you can’t imagine the hearts that soared—and then came crashing to earth—when Rhee’s name was floated as President-elect Donald

Trump’s education secretary. At last: Subject matter! Pitches! Employment! Alas and alack, Rhee found better things to do with her time. “I am hopeful about the opportunity,” she tweeted, “to find common ground on this important issue of education and will do whatever I can to be supportive.” You weren’t all about breakups, 2016, which is why the ...

Match Made in Heaven Award

...goes to (once again emphatically) former D.C. police Chief Cathy Lanier. It was a bit of a puzzler to some of us when Lanier first announced that she was leaving the District

8 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

loaded Navigator; the mastermind whose corruption was record-setting. It’s all so tacky, it would make a pimp weep.) But when Lindenfeld—who helped put Bowser and her mentor Adria n Fenty into the mayor’s office—followed the Yellow Brick Road to Philadelphia, he got himself caught up in the somewhat complex, certainly lucrative corruption vortex swirling around former Congressman Chaka Fattah. For his pains, Lindenfeld got himself a felony conviction and the chance to testify against the man behind the curtain. (Fattah got 10 years.) See, 2016? There really is no place like home. CP Special to Loose Lips this week, Bill Myers lives and works in Washington. He often wonders why Jo-Ann Armao doesn’t call. He tweets @BillCapHill. Email him at myers101@outlook.com.

Orange Is The New Sacked

Vincent Orange has always reminded LL of Geraldo Rivera: one of those slightly silly, slightly sinister characters who just won’t go away. (The same could be said of herpes, of course. So we’re spoiled for metaphors.) The voters ignored the advice of Jo-Ann Armao this year and tossed Orange out of the D.C. Council (again). He tried to stick around on the legislative body while heading the chamber too, but the shameless conflict of interest pushed even the Post editorial page that had endorsed him to write that “his actions make us regret our past support for him.” Outcry became loud enough that he was forced to take his leave early, proving that there’s only so much public service a guy can offer. Lowering as that kind of thing is to the spirit, we don’t have to despair. Because the ...

Always Scummy In Philadelphia Award

...goes to Green Team booster Tom Lindenfeld. The Wilson Building has seen its share of scandals. (From times past: the union boss and her closet full of wigs; the former District Council chairman and his fully

Jandos Rothstien

Darrow Montgomery/File

Cathy Lanier

to become the NFL’s security czar. After all, given the kinds of problems the NFL has had with its security office... Never mind. No doubt NFL commissioner (and human scrotum) Roger Goodell was tired of ducking questions about why he had done nothing to protect women, children, and, well, terrestrial life from his ballers. He must’ve seen the answer to his prayers in a camera-loving law enforcer who’s really, really good at PR. Sp eaking o f p eo ple moving on, let’s not leave out a very special recipient of a very special award:

The Plexies

Darrow Montgomery/File

D.C. talks affordability while it makes way for the rich.

The historic Grimke School By Andrew Giambrone Judging by all the cranes in Navy Yard, NoMa, and Southwest, there’s no doubt of the District’s construction boom. To put that proxy in context: The Washington D.C. Economic Development Partnership found that 2016 was the third consecutive year the city set a record for the number of new housing units built or significantly renovated—some 14,800 as of August. The three aforementioned neighborhoods accounted for 45 percent of that growth. This is great news if you’re a developer, a business looking for space in a mixed-use building, or someone hoping to move to one of the District’s modernized enclaves. D.C. officials are also eager to absorb both the associated tax dollars and young strivers who can afford rent in new buildings. But many of these projects won’t open until 2018 or later, while the city’s long-term residents already feel the squeeze of an ever-rising cost of living. Plus,

Housing complex

the Anacostia River remains a divider. Which is all to say: The evident lack of affordable housing throughout D.C. is the flip side of the development coin. The District has made important investments this year, but more are needed. Here’s a look back at 2016’s most significant developments (sorry) and where the city is headed.

Least Expected Turn of Events

It’s fair to say folks were shocked earlier this month when the D.C. Court of Appeals ruled that the long-promised redevelopment of the vacant McMillan Sand Filtration Site could not proceed. In fact, the day before, Mayor Muriel Bowser had held a ground-breaking ceremony—replete with politicians in swank coats and matching hard hats—on McMillan’s fencedin 25 acres. She touted the housing, retail, and jobs the project is supposed to deliver. (The development team features some of the District’s biggest players.) Now, the $720 million proposal goes back to zoning and planning officials for further review, with preservationists and

pro-growthers taking stock. “I’m literally shaking,” Friends of McMillan Park’s Kirby Vining, a project critic, told City Paper. But the developers called the court’s order a “clear validation” of their overall plans.

NIMBYest Opposition

The residents who emerged to trample on efforts to replace D.C. General with smaller family homeless shelters in every ward have won themselves the pitiable distinction of advocating to exclude the disadvantaged from their neighborhoods. That reaction was on full display in February when, on a cold Thursday night, the Bowser administration held community meetings across the city to explain the plan. The proposed shelters will house no more than 50 families at a time, providing them with counseling and other services. Lawsuits over process have been filed against the sites in Ward 3 and 5. washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 9

Clearest Reminder D.C.’s Homeless Need Support

to organize against the development. Still, developer PN Hoffman, having tweaked its designs, won approval from historic-preservation officials in October and says it will proceed with construction in late 2017. Meanwhile, Marx Realty, the firm that wants to develop the gas station at 2200 P St. NW, has gone back to the drawing board. For a city in serious need of more housing, the projects should be matters of when, not if.

The proposed shelters, expected to be complete by 2020, only serve homeless families— an estimated 4,600 people in the District. Another 3,700 are on their own, according to a 2016 report by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. Advocates hosted a vigil this week for the more than 45 D.C. homeless people known to have died this year, at least 15 of whom had been matched to housing vouchers and were about to move into permanent housing. Disquietingly, during a cold snap in mid-November an older man died of apparent hypothermia in Columbia Heights. He was in a wheelchair, covered in a blanket. “It’s just a horrible way to die,” the person who discovered his body said. “No one deserves to die like that.”

Most Scrutinized Hotel Development (Other Than Trump’s)

Since becoming mayor, Bowser has put $100 million per year in the city’s Housing Production Trust Fund, a main source of government financing for projects that contain affordable units. Experts have praised the commitment, but even by the mayor’s own admission the move represents just a “drop in the bucket.” Another tool meant to increase affordable projects is the District’s inclusionary zoning program, which was strengthened this year to require developers to provide units for lower-income households in exchange for allowing them to construct bigger buildings than otherwise permitted. The change is expected to produce more than 2,600 affordable units over the next several years. Other prongs of attack against rising rents include the recommendations of Bowser’s “housing preservation strike force,” which released a comprehensive brief last month, and Councilmember Anita Bonds’ ongoing quest to reform rent control laws.

Most Surprisingly Controversial Project

In November, after a months-long community outreach and solicitation process, D.C. selected a development team to refurbish Ivy City’s historic Crummell School, now vacant, and to construct a mixed-use project around it. Neighbors of the site have wanted to bring the building back into use for decades. It closed as a predominately African-American school in 1972. Crummell is slated to become a community center, with the District retaining ownership. But Empower DC, a community organizing group that had applied to redevelop the site with its own partners, says the city’s plans don’t provide enough affordable housing and will exacerbate gentrification in the historically industrial neighborhood. Many longtime neighbors

The D.C. Streetcar agree with that view. Of the 320 units included in the winning proposal, about a sixth will be affordable. Nearly 22,000 square feet of retail and 36,000 square feet for seafood wholesaler ProFish are also part of the plan.

Biggest Redevelopment Let-Down

Another D.C.-owned former school building won’t see changes anytime soon because the District and developers failed to reach a deal almost two years after the city awarded the contract. At the intersection of Vermont Avenue and U Street NW, the deteriorating Grimke School was set to become a cultural center for nonprofits, including an expanded African American Civil War Museum, with new housing on 9½ Street NW. But Roadside Development and Sorg Architects, whom D.C. officials approved to lead the project, could not ultimately agree on financial terms. The parties called things off in December, and the District plans to expedite a re-solicitation process.

Most-Spun Taxpayer Investment

Of all the Bowser administration’s cringeworthy taglines, “bigger than basketball”— referring to the planned Wizards practice are-

10 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

na on the St. Elizabeths East Campus in Ward 8—may be its worst. But in monetary terms, some argue that the facility itself is an unambiguous foul. The expected cost for the arena, which will also host concerts, Mystics games, and community events, surged to $65 million in July, up from an initial $55 million. Wizardsand Mystics-owning Monumental Sports & Entertainment has agreed to pay less than $5 million of that figure, leaving District taxpayers on the hook for the rest. The team and officials counter that the site will create hundreds of jobs and $90 million in city revenue over 20 years while revitalizing Congress Heights. But many Ward 8 residents fear that the arena will spur their displacement.

Most Perplexing Historic Preservation Cases

This one is a close call between the proposed (now infamous) SunTrust Plaza redevelopment in Adams Morgan and the case of a landmarked gas station in Dupont Circle. Confronted by pushback from neighbors and preservationists regarding their expected heights, both mixeduse projects hit delays this year. In the SunTrust Plaza case, the loss of some public space—currently used for an occasional farmers market— caused residents consternation, leading them

Darrow Montgomery/File

Most Creative Efforts to Maintain Affordable Housing in the Face of Gentrification

It came to light this year that the company building a hotel at the site of a historic church in Adams Morgan was nowhere near meeting local hiring requirements to get a $46 million tax break forged in 2010. That firm, the Sydell Group, said in September that it was “confident [it was] on track” to employ almost 350 District residents by the estimated completion of the project in early 2017. To which neighborhood activists said “no way.” Though Sydell held job fairs in the weeks after, D.C.’s Department of Employment Services found in late October that, at 29 percent compliance, it was “highly unlikely” the company would satisfy its statutory obligations. The hotel hasn’t opened, but it may yet, even without that $46 million.

Splashiest Ceremonial Demolition

In April, Mayor Bowser donned a hard hat, climbed into the back of an orange excavator marked with D.C. United’s logo, and, with the help of a construction worker, clawed into a shed on the site of the soccer team’s planned stadium in Buzzard Point. (For good measure, D.C. United mascot Talon was there, making fierce motions and wearing mustard-colored socks.) Attend enough of these events and you will soon tire of the ceremonial shovels and the carefully coordinated movements of the city officials who wield them. But the proposed $300 million, 19,000-seat stadium has raised eyebrows over its relatively inaccessible location and, until recent weeks, its inability to accommodate sufficient retail by design. Many low-income neighbors of the site worry about potential pollution on the former industrial peninsula. Stadium developers have taken steps to mitigate such issues. Zoning officials are set to green-light the plan in 2017.

Most Overdue Public Infrastructure

For this one, in true holiday spirit, we’ll simply quote a July jingle: “Streetcar, streetcar, crusin’ along. / Streetcar, streetcar, singin’a song. / Streetcar, streetcar, come join the party!” CP

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2016’s More of the Same

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ed. (This culminated in the inexplicable drafting of a wide receiver—arguably the deepest position group on the roster—who would miss nearly the entire season with an injury.) But as things stand at the end of 2016, the franchise has just lost yet another embarrassing nationally televised home game and is a long shot to make the playoffs. Good by this team’s standards is not yet the same as good.

By Matt Terl It’s hard to remember now, but 2016 started off pretty well, at least from a D.C. sports perspective. The football team closed out 2015 by beating up the Eagles to clinch the division title and then started this year by kicking the Cowboys around in a meaningless game. The Caps had already won 28 games and in fact had a nine-game win streak snapped on the very last day of 2015. They were riding an incredibly hot start to the season, and it seemed clear that this team, finally, was the one that wouldn’t collapse in the end. The Wizards were … well, they were Wizarding along, sure, hovering around .500 to start the calendar year, but John Wall had spent December playing like the superstar he was supposed to be, and the team opened 2016 proper with a New Year’s Day victory over Orlando. Heady days indeed, by Wizards standards. Even the Nationals managed to chip in to the start of the year, even though no one fully realized it at the time. It wasn’t on par with the previous year’s big-money signing of Max Scherzer, one of the best pitchers in baseball, but the early-January signing of Daniel Murphy would turn out to be a tremendous value pick-up, and crucial to the team’s 2016 efforts. This would also be the debut season for manager Dusty Baker (although he had actually signed on in November of 2015). Yes, it seemed clear from January that this would finally be the year where D.C. sports shook off the … whatever you want to call it. The curse or the jinx or the bad luck. The endless, monotonous cycle of mediocrity and disappointment. This was it! Joy and hosannas would shower across the District, and the halcyon days of the 1980s would return! Now let’s see how all that turned out.

Did the Capitals shake off its demons? No. The team did exactly what it tends to do: start strong and then lose. Specifically, the Caps followed a stellar regular season with a slog through Round 1, then finished with a loss to the Penguins in Round 2. To really maximize the suffering, the defeat was a heartbreaking overtime finish that followed a comeback late in regulation—again, just rousing enough to spark hope that, no, this time would finally be different. It was not. The Penguins would go on to win the Stanley Cup, which only served to back the truck over the Caps’ limp corpse one more time. But what about the Wizards? No. The outfit continued to epitomize mediocrity, finishing at exactly .500 and missing the playoffs. Head Coach Randy Wittman, an unmemorable white guy in goofy glasses, was fired in April and immediately replaced with the first rumored candidate, Scott Brooks, also an unmemorable white guy in goofy glasses. Meanwhile, GM-for-life Ernie Grunfeld remained to chart the course of the franchise, which he does with the keen navigational eye of Clark Griswold on the Lambeth Bridge Roundabout. In a not-unrelated story, the team abjectly missed out on any interesting free agent targets in the offseason. As 2016 winds down, the team hovers just below .500 and continues to Wizard along. The football team, then? The Skins did OK, actually, at least by recent standards. The team went to the playoffs, which was good, but then lost to the underdog Packers, which was bad. In the offseason, the Robert Griffin III era formally ended, which was fortunate (if bittersweet), but the team failed to add help at the positions where it was most need-

And the Nats? With Max Scherzer and Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper and the new manager, was redemption in store? Sadly, no. Instead, the Nats went the Caps route of enjoying a strong regular season, including standout performances from the previous two years’ most notable free agent acquisitions (Scherzer, who may actually have been worth his enormous price tag, and Murphy, who far surpassed his) and homegrown rookie Trea Turner. Then the team lost in the NLDS again, the second time in three years. So, basically, everyone did exactly what they always do. Nothing changed. Instead, the local sports scene settled deeper into its rut, and the fans grew even more jaded and cranky. You could feel it at the start of this Wizards season, as the team hasn’t even been granted its usual startof-year patience, and you can see it in the empty seats at games and the diminished local ratings for football games. And overshadowing everything was the election and now the incoming administration, providing a constant reminder of the limitation of sports as an escape. Back in September, watching the football team stagger out of the starting blocks, I described “the frustration at the heart of the D.C. sports malaise: the unshakeable feeling that things repeat.” I’ve made a lot of wrong predictions in these columns, but that one has held true and shows no signs of letting up. There are two avenues of hope that I can see. One comes from Chicago, where the Cubs—the most cursed of teams, in the most superstitious of sports—finally won the World Series. If they can do it, anyone can. It just might take most of a century. The other is simple contrast: Last year at this time, things were looking pretty good, so maybe we should’ve known there was nowhere to go but down. This year, things are looking stagnant and mediocre. So at a minimum, there’s definitely room to improve. CP

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SAVAGELOVE I’m having an issue with my boyfriend, and I don’t know if I am the crazy, paranoid, controlling party here. We have been together for more than a year and a half. We had troubles early on because he has a low sex drive. It made me very insecure, and I think that’s why, at the time, I became extremely jealous of his friendship with his very attractive intern. I fully owned up to my irrational jealousy and decided on my own that it was my responsibility to overcome that. She eventually stopped working with him, and they haven’t been in contact for over sex months. Fast-forward to the present. On Monday night, I asked my boyfriend what his plans were on Tuesday. (I am studying for law school exams, so I knew I wouldn’t have time to spend with him.) Around 8:30 on Tuesday, he texted me and asked how studying was going, and I asked him again what his plans were. He told me he was going to meet an “old coworker” at a bar for birthday drinks. I didn’t think twice about it. Then, around 11:30 when I got in bed to relax, I saw on my Instagram feed that his old intern posted a photo of her birthday party at the bar. I became extremely upset, because instead of being up front and saying he was meeting HER for her birthday, he was intentionally ambiguous. I confronted him when he got home, and he admitted to being ambiguous to avoid a “freak-out.” I told him that if he’d been upfront with me, I would have been jealous but I would have also been mindful of my toxic feelings and not projected them onto him. I told him that as a result of how he handled it, I feel worse, I feel lied to, and I feel insecure. He acted like I was being ridiculous. He insisted it was a last-minute invite and he didn’t want to cause any drama. We went to sleep, and I woke up feeling pretty much over it. But when he got into the shower, I looked at his phone and saw that she had actually invited him on Monday afternoon. So he lied to me when I asked him what his plans were on Tuesday, and he lied to me again when he said it was a last-minute invite. I am not upset with him for getting drinks with her—most of his friends are female and I NEVER feel jealous about them. I have a weird tic about this girl, though, and I’ve owned up to it. I don’t want to control him, but I feel like I can’t trust him now. Up until now, I’ve never once suspected him of being dishonest. —Am I Crazy? Sex months? Interesting typo. There’s another way to read your boyfriend’s ambiguity/obfuscation/dishonesty about Tuesday night: equal parts considerate and self-serving. Your boyfriend knew you had to study, he knew his ex-intern is a sore subject/weird tic, and by opting for ambiguity he allowed you to focus on your studies. So that was maybekindasorta consider-

Even the “most honest” people on earth tell the odd harmless, selfserving white lie once in while. ... Roll your eyes at the HSSW lie and move on. ate of him. And since one person’s “mindful of my toxic feelings” and “handling it” is another person’s “freak-out” and “invasion of privacy,” AIC, your boyfriend opted for ambiguousness/deceit-by-omission to avoid drama. And perhaps that was self-serving of him. Want to prove to your boyfriend that he didn’t need to lie to you about spending time with his ex-intern? Retroactively bestow your blessing on Tuesday night’s birthday drinks and stop raking him over the fucking coals for his thoroughly explicable actions. (They’re so explicable, I just explicked the shit out of them.) Yes, he lied to you. But unless you’re made of marshmallow fluff and unicorn farts, AIC, you’ve lied to him once or twice over the last year and a half. Even the “most honest” people on earth tell the odd harmless, self-serving white lie once in a while. If you want your relationship to last, AIC, you roll your eyes at the odd HSSW lie and move on. If you want your relationship to end, you do exactly what you’re doing. If your boyfriend hasn’t given you some other reason(s) to believe he’s cheating with his ex-intern or anyone else, AIC, drop the Tuesday night/birthday drinks subject. I would also advise you to apologize to your boyfriend for having “looked at his phone” while he was in the shower, which is both an asshole move and, yes, a sign that you might be the crazy, paranoid, and controlling one in this relationship. And for the sake of your relationship—for the sake of fuck—stop following the ex-intern on Instagram. Finally, AIC, you mention mismatched sex drives. As several commenters pointed out on my blog, where your letter appeared as the Savage Love Letter of the Day, mismatched sex drives are usually a bad sign.

12 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

You talk about the libido issue in the past tense, so perhaps it’s not a problem anymore. But if the problem was resolved in a way that left you feeling neglected, insecure, and frustrated, it wasn’t resolved and it constitutes a much bigger threat to your relationship than that ex-intern. —Dan Savage I’m a 35-year-old man in a serious relationship—the best I’ve ever been in—with a girl I’ll likely marry. I’m happy with monogamy, aside from one aspect: I have a foot fetish that’s getting stronger with age, and I can’t bear the thought of never sucking another girl’s toes again. I should note that my girlfriend is more than happy to shove her feet in my mouth, but I fantasize almost constantly about other women’s feet. I’m tempted to find paid foot-girls, something I’ve done in the past but never while in a relationship. But that would be cheating, right? I don’t think I can bring myself to ask for my girlfriend’s blessing, and I’d be shocked if she offered it. What do I do? —Fear Of Missing Out On Feet You bring yourself to ask, FOMOOF, even if you have to drag your ass there. If your girlfriend is sex-positive—if she’s not just shoving her feet in your mouth to shut you up—initiate conversations about your kinks (and hers), your sexual history (and hers), and sexual adventures you might want to have with her in the future (and ones she might want to have with you). If she’s curious and interested and upbeat during these convos and about your kinks, suggest going to a foot fetish party together—one where you can suck other women’s toes and other men can suck hers. —DS I’m a man who is sexually attracted to transwomen. I’ve been told that if I’m attracted to women, it shouldn’t matter what genitals they have. I’ve also been told that if I like penis, it shouldn’t matter if the owner presents as male or female. Am I unfairly fetishizing trans women? —Gain Understanding Into Loving Trans You’re attracted to women, GUILT. Some women have penises, and you find penis-having women particularly attractive. If you’re not attracted to men with penises and you’re not attracted to men like Buck Angel—i.e., transmen with vaginas—then you’re not attracted to men generally, cock or no cock. So long as you can state your preferences in a way that doesn’t dehumanize the people you are attracted to or denigrate the people you aren’t attracted to, GUILT, you have nothing to feel self-conscious or guilty about. —DS Email your Savage Love questions to mail@ savagelove.net.

Gear Prudence Gear Prudence: You probably hear excuses from people all the time about why they don’t bike more, but I swear that mine is real: I’m afraid of biking on bridges! Since my commute requires me to cross the river, my phobia rules out riding to work. This is so limiting, and I’d like to overcome it. What should I do? —Frightened, Especially Above River Dear FEAR: The fear of bridges is called gephyrophobia (pronounced with a soft “j” like in Jeff … Bridges), and based on some cursory Googling, it appears to be common. Sufferers either doubt the structural integrity of the bridge or have associated phobias related to heights, falling, crossing open bodies of water, and/or card games their grandparents play. If you have multiple options, go out of your way to find a bridge with the widest sidewalk or where you can ride farthest from the edge. Stay clear of the ones with low ledges, narrow paths, and the ones that get too crowded. Keep your eyes locked on what’s ahead of you and focus on maintaining a regular breath. Remind yourself that trolls aren’t real and, if they were, they’d totally live under something else. Alternatively, you could skip riding on the bridge entirely by putting your bike on the front of a bus for the river crossing. This’ll slow you down, but at least you can bike for the rest of the trip. —GP Gear Prudence: It’s the end of a rough year, and to offset a lot of the very bad things that seem to be happening I want to do some good with my yearend charitable donations. I love biking and was wondering if you knew of any good bike organizations where my money would have a real impact. —Definitely Over Negativity, Alms Target Elusive Dear DONATE: 1. Empty your checking account at the ATM. 2. Buy a bucket and fill it with money. 3. Rain down bills from a building along the 15th Street Cycletrack! This might technically not be tax-deductible, but you’ll definitely be helping local cyclists. Just give GP a heads up before you do it. If you’d like to be more targeted with your donations, there’s a bounty of organizations that would love your support. National organizations, like the League of American Bicyclists or People for Bikes, advocate for the big issues and help develop strong networks and best practices. At the local level, no organization does more than the Washington Area Bicyclist Association (WABA), and a gift to them can help bring about tangible change in your community. Some worthy local bike groups are those that help refurbish bikes to get people (especially kids!) riding. Phoenix Bikes and Gearin’ Up DC both have educational missions and they’re also great destinations for in-kind donations if you have a lot of extra bike stuff lying around. —GP

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The Hungries

The best and worst of D.C. restaurants in 2016 By Laura Hayes When it comes to D.C. dining, 2016 was a year of chest-bump-worthy ascension and validation. The District’s first-ever Michelin Guide dropped in October, making D.C. only the fourth U.S. city with Michelin-starred restaurants—joining Chicago, San Francisco, and New York. Bon Appétit magazine named D.C. its restaurant city of the year, and Zagat followed suit, calling the District the “hottest food city” of 2016. There’s more. The James Beard Foundation named Chef Aaron Silverman best chef Mid-Atlantic; three District chefs appeared on Top Chef; 24-seat Filipino restaurant Bad Saint landed a glowing review from The New York Times; and homegrown chains like Cava Grill, &pizza, and Sweetgreen introduced themselves to other cities. This newfound attention brought change. Several high-end, tasting-menu restaurants opened, slapping the paddles on fine dining to bring it back to life. Chef Eric Ziebold debuted Métier ($200, including gratuity), Silverman gave Rose’s Luxury a sibling with Pineapple & Pearls ($250, all inclusive), and Chef Kwame Onwuachi launched his first restaurant, The Shaw Bijou ($481, all inclusive). More so than other major election years, politics crept into restaurants. Chef José Andrés became embroiled in a lawsuit with President-elect Donald Trump after pulling out of a restaurant in the Trump International Hotel. Chef Geoffrey Zakarian also reneged for political reasons, telling the Village Voice, “My buddy Donald, he fucked up.” Neighborhood pizza shop Comet Ping Pong became the target of a pervasive conspiracy theory that sought to link Hillary Clinton and her campaign chairman John Podesta to a contrived underground sex dungeon where pedophiles gather and engage in spirit cooking. The D.C. community then rallied in great numbers behind the eatery after a gunman came to “investigate” what dark circles of the internet dubbed #pizzagate. Then there’s disgraced Neo-Nazi reality TV star Tila Tequila, who gave the Heil Hitler salute at a local Maggiano’s Little Italy. The restaurant says it accidentally played host to a National Policy Institute banquet and of-

fered an apology in the form of a $10,000 donation to the D.C. office of the Anti-Defamation League. Finally, 2016 was another blockbuster year for restaurant openings. The Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington confirms 500 restaurants have opened over the past two years. Shaw ballooned the most with new options like Kyirisan, Hazel, Haikan, La Jambe, Chao Ku, All Purpose, Espita, Smoked & Stacked, and Buttercream Bakeshop. But Petworth, Navy Yard, and downtown saw marked growth too.

To recap it all, Young & Hungry presents its annual year-end awards, The Hungries.

Restaurant That Deserved More Hype: Chao Ku

The District has some powerhouse Asian restaurants: Bad Saint, Maketto, Sushi Taro, Izakaya Seki, Baan Thai, Little Serow, and the trio of ramen restaurants helmed by Chef Katsuya Fukushima. But leave some room for Chao Ku! The Chinese-inspired restaurant housed in a Shaw rowhouse serves creative dishes on the cheap like green cur-

ry ramen, lamb and Brussels sprouts wontons, and the best deal of all: the $15 “Tower of Power” that comes with enough spare ribs, beef brisket, and pork belly to replenish four Soul Cyclers. The atmosphere is laid back, the beer is cheap, and the check will make you do a double take.

Most Overhyped Restaurant: The Shaw Bijou

Thanks to Chef Kwame Onwuachi’s appearance on Top Chef and articles in the Post and other publications plugging him, Washingtonians eagerly awaited the arrival of the 27-year-old chef ’s first restaurant. In March, Tim Carman even penned a story with the headline, “Chef Kwame’s ready to show D.C. a fine-dining experience unlike any other.” But in August, when Onwuachi announced the restaurant’s pricing structure, the tide turned. At $962 per couple with wine pairings, the restaurant set itself up for maximum scrutiny. The tepid response from critics and diners alike demonstrated that D.C. can be pushed— but not that far. Now, six weeks after opening, the owners are making some changes, such as punting on the plan to reserve part of their upstairs space for a members-only club. Perhaps a city that can be divisive on some fronts prefers its nightlife to be more egalitarian.

Best Food Delivery App: UberEats

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Worst Publicist Stunt: Steakumm’s Plea for a Retraction

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umm on the occasion of the sandwich steak company’s food truck coming to town, a publicist offered money in exchange for retracting the story.

Pop-Up of the Year: Supper at Bub’s

Sandwich slinger Jonathan Taub of Bub & Pop’s decided to flex his fine-dining muscles again with the launch of Supper at Bub’s, which transforms the deli he owns with his mom into an intimate, tasting-menu restaurant. Menus have included king crab with aloe vera, avocado, and finger lime; duck with orange, chocolate, and hazelnut; and a riff on a Philly cheesesteak.

Worst Gimmick: Cuba Libre

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The Capitol Hill bar turned its downstairs Elixir Bar into a pop-up Trump bar with oversized menus that made patrons’ hands look tiny. Cocktails were named after Trump’s most offensive utterances, forcing awkward moments.

Most Important Revival: Columbia Room

Columbia Room is back and three times bigger with various ways to experience the bar’s cerebral cocktails and rare spirits. Its lead bartender J.P. Fetherston was named Food & Wine magazine’s 2016 best new mixologist for a reason, and they scored former minibar chef Johnny Spero to craft bites that pair with the bar’s cocktail tasting menus. There’s currently a cocktail on the menu that features old books as an ingredient. Enough said.

Biggest Disaster: Dirty Habit

Presumably a group of Kimpton higher-ups sat around a table and decided to kill off Poste, a beloved D.C. hang, only to replace it with an insane-asylum-themed restaurant called Dirty Habit. There’s even a private dining cubby that’s a play on a padded room. Bad call, given that one in five Americans suffers from mental illness in any given year, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health.

Biggest D.C. Food Milestone: ANXO Cidery & Pintxos Bar

Get your Real Deal at realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com 16 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

ANXO checked a couple of cool boxes when it opened in Truxton Circle as the city’s first bar dedicated to cider. For starters, more people can now pronounce pintxos, the small (often skewered) bar bites that are practically a way of life in Spain’s Basque country. But more im-

portantly, ANXO became the District’s first licensed winery because the team produces cider on site.

Worst Behaving Restaurant Patrons (tie)

This is a tough call, so we’re awarding it to both the patrons who bring fake emotional support dogs into restaurants and the person who changed a diaper on a table at Slash Run.

Trend that Won’t Die but Should: Never-Ending Menu Spiels

Smartphones are great because they come with stopwatch functionality that enables diners to covertly time servers’ never-ending menu spiels. The lengthiest one clocked this year was three minutes and 38 seconds at Whaley’s. That’s exactly how long it took to read every word on the menu. Usually these speeches start with, “Let me tell you about our concept.”

Trend Worth Celebrating: Bartenders Getting Their Due

Top regional bartenders like Trevor Frye are graduating to become bar operators, signifying now more than ever that the bar industry is a career with a ladder worth climbing. These pros seek out continuing education, restructure business plans to give bartenders a better shake when it comes to salary, and bring hospitality back to tending bar.

Best Dishes I Ate This Year

The steak tartare with tater tots at Hazel; smokehouse fish board at Ivy City Smokehouse; scallops with coconut risotto and basil ice cream at Kyirisan; kulfi over sweetened vermicelli noodles at Bindaas; fried chicken at Sweet Home Café; seafood tower at Whaley’s; lamb ribs at Tail Up Goat; persimmon with smoked oysters at Sushi Taro’s omakase counter; turnip cakes with XO crumble at Maketto; fried mozzarella with black truffles and fennel honey at All Purpose; chicken-fried morels at Kinship; and the “Rocky Balboa” at Daikaya with an onsen egg, sea urchin, and salmon roe.

Worst Dishes I Ate This Year

An arctic char starter at Convivial that was among several duds; listless and less-thanfresh fried oyster tacos at Espita; a plate of greying steak tartare hidden under a thick disk of frigid, veiny foie gras at BLT Prime; and a murky, over-salted seafood vadouvan at Blue Duck Tavern with empty clam shells and overcooked shrimp. CP Eatery tips? Food pursuits? Send suggestions to lhayes@washingtoncitypaper.com

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Pop-Up of the Year: Supper at Bub’s

Worst Gimmick: Cuba Libre

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Most Important Revival: Columbia Room

Biggest Disaster: Dirty Habit

Biggest D.C. Food Milestone: ANXO Cidery & Pintxos Bar

Get your Real Deal at realdeal.washingtoncitypaper.com 16 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

portantly, ANXO became the District’s first licensed winery because the team produces cider on site.

Worst Behaving Restaurant Patrons (tie)

This is a tough call, so we’re awarding it to both the patrons who bring fake emotional support dogs into restaurants and the person who changed a diaper on a table at Slash Run.

Trend that Won’t Die but Should: Never-Ending Menu Spiels

Trend Worth Celebrating: Bartenders Getting Their Due

Best Dishes I Ate This Year

Worst Dishes I Ate This Year

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Not all Washingtonians can spring for fine dining tasting menus dripping with opulence in the form of foie gras. Fortunately, the following chefs and restaurateurs have opened less expensive sister restaurants where diners can get a sense of a chef ’s style of cooking sans the big bill. — Laura Hayes

1 If you can’t swing Métier, there’s Kinship

Chef Eric Ziebold, formerly of CityZen, has double-decker restaurants at two price points across from the Convention Center. Downstairs, Métier is a near museum of the world’s most luxurious ingredients like Kuroge beef that star on a $200 tasting menu (includes gratuity). Upstairs at Kinship, you can find a la carte delights like oyster chowder that start at $12.

2 If you can’t swing Pineapple & Pearls, there’s Rose’s Luxury

At Pineapple & Pearls, Chef Aaron Silverman has orchestrated a tasting menu experience as elegant as a ballet for $250 (includes tax, tip, drinks). And it doesn’t hold back on caviar and the other finer things in life. Next door at Rose’s Luxury, you can experience the same degree of whimsy for less, with small plates that start at $13.

If you can’t swing Komi, there’s Little Serow

Komi was one of the original big-ticket dinners in town before fine dining’s 2016 resurgence. The Greek-leaning tasting menu ($150, food only) from Chef Johnny Monis takes diners through light bites like a duo of raw scallops before the grand finale goat course. Next door at Little Serow, Monis cranks up the heat with a spicy and tangy Thai tasting menu ($49, food only).

4 If you can’t swing Fiola, there’s Sfoglina

Chef Fabio Trabocchi’s first restaurant Fiola is a clinic in luxury, with dishes like A5 Wagyu ribeye or Nova Scotia lobster tucked generously into ravioli. There, a fourcourse tasting menu plus dessert runs $135. Meanwhile, up in Van Ness, Trabocchi serves a simple a la carte menu at Sfoglina focused on $22–$25 pasta dishes.

Hangover Helper The Dish: The New Yorker Where to Get It: Smoked & Stacked, 1239 9th St. NW What It Is: All those other breakfast sandwiches...Fuggedaboutit! Marjorie Meek-Bradley, of Top Chef fame, recently opened a sandwich shop in Shaw, and her signature breakfast sandwich—The New Yorker—comes topped with mouthwatering piles of pastrami. Think of this sandwich as the hangover helper...nay...slayer because it comes topped with a fried egg, melted cheese, and hot pepper jelly, for some

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added zip. “I like hot sauce and ketchup on my breakfast sandwiches, so this pepper jelly is kind of like the best of both worlds,” Meek-Bradley says. “You have a little bit of sweet and sour, and some spicy.” How it Tastes: The bun is pillowy soft milk bread, making the sandwich easy

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If you can’t swing Rasika, there’s Bindaas

Chef Vikram Sunderam serves decadent fish curries, truffle naan, and luscious chaats like avocado banana at D.C.’s fine dining Indian restaurant, where entrees top out at $28. There are also tasting menu options ranging from $50– $75. But at Bindaas in Cleveland Park, Sunderam has his hand in Indian street food snacks like kathi rolls and shashlik kebabs that are much friendlier on the wallet ($2.50–$15).

to chew. The bun also soaks up all the melted cheese, runny egg yolk, and hot pepper jam, which oozes a bit from the side. But the real reason to sink your teeth into this sandwich is the hot pastrami. Meek-Bradley serves a generous heap of the caraway-spiced meat that hits the spot between peppery and smokey bliss. It’s better than any bacon-egg-and-cheese combo. Why It Helps: If you were a hot mess last night, this sandwich is the hot mess that you’ll need in the morning. MeekBradley suggests pairing her breakfast sandwich with a cold-brew coffee or maybe some hair of the dog. Smoked & Stacked offers mimosas, Prosecco on tap, and Tecate, which Meek-Bradley calls “light and poundable.” —Tim Ebner

What: Hipnos with Old Overholt Rye Whiskey, Averna Amaro, Kona coldbrew coffee, and an absinthe rinse. Where: Dino’s Grotto, 1914 9th St. NW; (202) 686-2966; dinoinshaw.com Price: $12 What You Should Be Drinking: In Greek mythology, Hypnos is the spirit of sleep, but beverage director Ric Newton is trying to keep customers awake with his cocktail by the same name. Newton—admittedly neither a coffee freak nor a hipster—purchased a cold brewing system and was inspired to tap into the trend of using a cup of joe behind the bar. He thought the chocolate notes gleaned from Hawaiian Kona beans worked well with classic Old Overholt Rye and broodingly deep Averna Amaro. Newton rinses a rocks glass with St. George Spirits’ absinthe (Dino’s shows love for small distillers) to add a whiff of anise to the drink, which also contains a barspoon of simple syrup to round things out. Why You Should Be Drinking It: Java heads’ morning enthusiasm for singleorigin beans, pour-overs, and cortados typically wanes after the sun sets, so coffee cocktails can be a hard sell. But since the cold-brew process cuts coffee’s acidity by nearly two-thirds, this libation is smooth and easy-drinking. The combination of a caffeine jolt and a kick of booze will have you swapping barista for bartender. Old Overholt touts spicy characteristics that mix well with Kona’s sweet cocoa flavor and the Averna’s bitter characteristics, while the California absinthe lends punchiness. Definitely take this “coffee” with dessert. This drink’s a natural pairing with the Gianduia Nico, featuring luscious, creamy layers of chocolate and hazelnut gelato, chopped hazelnuts, and chocolate sauce. —Kelly Magyarics

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MUSIC

A Year in Our Ears Ah, the end of the year. A time when music critics and publications far and wide argue, debate, and nitpick to whittle down all of the music they listened to during the year into a numbered list of “The Best.” This year, City Paper eschews the normal compilation of the “Best Recordings of the Year”—a fun, if arbitrary exercise—in lieu of something more personal: a breakdown, by genre, of our favorite releases, shows, and moments in local music. —Matt Cohen

Pearie Sol, S/T

Pearie Sol’s debut EP feels like a forgotten relic unearthed at a flea market. It’s got a kind of outsider sound to it—vintage organ-drum-machine sounds coupled with Sol’s nasally crooning (which lands somewhere between Tiny Tim and David Byrne) about the anxieties of everyday life. But beyond the initially jarring sound is a cohesive, infectious burst of self-reflection and observation. —Matt Cohen

Boat Burning’s “Music For 70 Guitars” at Black Cat, Aug. 26

Andras Fekete is a mad man. One who approaches music not as artistic expression but as a sonic experiment. As the band leader of the “maximal minimalist” guitar collective Boat Burning, Fekete and his bandmates write simple compositions that are meant to be shaped by the environment in which they’re playing. Case in point: the band’s annual mass guitar orchestra. This year, “Music For 70 Guitars” took place at the Black Cat’s main stage, with nearly 70 guitarists lining the walls of the club, performing these original compositions in unison. It

was an incredible (and incredibly loud) experiment unlike anything D.C. has seen in years. —Matt Cohen

Insect Factory, Work

Jeff Barsky knows how to work a guitar. Rather, Barsky knows how to work a guitar to produce any and every noise from it that doesn’t sound like a guitar. On Work, his latest album under the moniker Insect Factory, Barsky builds layers of sound—funneling all kinds of taps, pops, and plucks through a variety of pedals and filters—to create lovely and meditative droning soundscapes. —Matt Cohen

Janel Leppin, Mellow Diamond and Songs for Voice and Mellotron

It’s kind of surprising that it took this long for Janel Leppin to emerge as a solo artist. She’s one of the hardest working musicians in the D.C. area—as one-half of the experimental duo Janel and Anthony, and a go-to session musician for both studio and touring artists. But it’s not surprising that she released not one, but two debut solo albums at the same time this year: Mellow Diamond and Songs for Voice and Mellotron. Both stark and haunting albums, but whereas Mellow Diamond revels in the dense layers of instrumentation, Songs for Voice and Mellotron showcases the minimal beauty of Leppin’s gorgeous voice. —Matt Cohen

ELECTRONIC

Will Eastman, Free Fall

There would be no electronic scene in D.C. without Will Eastman, the producer-club owner that has been a nightlife staple for the entirety of the millennium (wow, we feel old!). In 2016, Eastman released Free Fall, four tracks of dramatic house music both immediate and insistent. The EP was more than just dancefloor material, however—it was a musical interpretation of a real-life identity crisis, one that Eastman has used as an opportunity to raise awareness about mental illness and substance abuse in the dance music community and beyond. —Chris Kelly

Moombahton Massive Reunion at U Street Music Hall, August 13

After more than a year, Moombahton Massive—and its pioneers, Nadastrom and Sabo—finally returned for a highly anticipated reunion. During its intense five-year run, Moombahton Massive became the ultimate destination to hear the homegrown genre while eating Mama Nada’s empanadas and grinding with fellow partygoers. But something weird happened during the party’s hiatus: Mainstream superstars like Drake, Justin Bieber, and Major Lazer popularized moombahton. And so, increased demand for the original sound brought its founders back to D.C. for one more night of hot and sweaty hometown love. —Casey Embert

Swan Meat, “St. Cecilia”

Representing the dark corners of D.C.’s underground is Swan Meat, a globally inspired producer with a penchant for creating creepy scores and haunting melodies. “St. Cecilia,” one of her most recent soundscapes, feels more like an enthralling physical experience than a typical easy listen with some superficial washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 19

MUSIC bass. A deeply orchestrated nightmare, “St. Cecilia” clobbers its listeners with layered percussion as frenzied glitches buzz amidst the atmosphere and a sweet serenade ominously echoes in the distance. Swan Meat might thrive in darkness, but she illuminates a whole new world of bass music. —Casey Embert

1432 R

For D.C. label 1432 R, “all killer, no filler” seems to be an unofficial motto. The brainchild of Joyce Lim, Sami Yenigun, and Dawit Eklund continued to shine a light on Ethiopiyawi electronic music with the latest—and most provocative—dispatch from label original E.R. The crew also released debut efforts by Protect-U’s psychedelic side project Ocobaya and RBCHMBRS, a New York newcomer who crafts refracted rave tracks. Onward and upward, y’all. —Chris Kelly

Mark G. Meadows, To the People and Sriram Gopal, The Fourth Stream

Two albums that couldn’t be more different. Pianist/composer Meadows’ album finds him crossing over into that murky territory between jazzman and singer-songwriter—and doing so to razor-sharp, socially conscious effect. Gopal is a semi-professional drummer and bandleader who is probably more surprised than anyone to be mentioned here. But his debut album was audacious world fusion, featuring the best ringers in town. —Michael J. West PUNK

Puff Pieces, Bland in D.C. JAZZ

Firebird Organ Trio

Held at the oft-overlooked Columbia Station, Firebird’s weekly gig paired a unique (and constantly rotating—with trombonist Shannon Gunn the only constant) lineup with a penchant for performing classic jazz albums. What’s not to love? —Michael J. West

Elijah Jamal Balbed

Technically, tenor saxophonist Balbed resides in Queens. But you’d never know it by looking at his gig schedule. Even more than when he lived in town, Balbed was everywhere this year— leading his quartet in the premiere of a new suite at Union Arts, backing Donvonte McCoy at Eighteenth Street Lounge and George V. Johnson at Blues Alley, bringing the JoGo Project to the gala opening of the African American History Museum, sitting in on bass (!) at AJACS—doing superlative work. He may sleep in the City That Never Does, but Balbed is deservedly the face of D.C. jazz in 2016. —Michael J. West

20 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Covering everything from stifling gentrification to imperial decline, Puff Pieces’ thematic concerns have unfortunately only become more pertinent. Sparse but unsparing, Bland in D.C. follows in a proud and paranoid tradition of anxious, tightly-wound post-punk. It’s not hopeful stuff, but it’s the kind of scathing music—and critique—that’s bracing amidst the nonsense. —Dan Trombly

Pure Disgust, S/T

One of the flagship bands of the “New Wave of DC Hardcore,” Pure Disgust’s debut LP packed massive amounts of righteous anger and technical skill into 10 tracks over 20 minutes. With stomping songs taking cues from Oi and guitar heroics befitting the New Wave of British Heavy Metal, Pure Disgust take on the state and society’s systematic assault on people of color. Unfortunately, this may well be the band’s final testament, as they announced their plans for a final show after some touring next year. —Dan Trombly

Flasher, S/T

The trio, featuring members of Priests, Big Hush, and Bless, put out an impressive and polished debut EP this year. Over the

course of seven tracks, Flasher pairs dreamy vocals with wellbalanced touches from both brighter and darker ends of the post-punk spectrum. Introduced as a cassette release, Flasher’s self-titled is now available on a 12-inch record. —Dan Trombly

Bad Moves, S/T

A D.C. DIY supergroup of sorts, Bad Moves features members of Max Levine Ensemble, Art Sorority for Girls, and Hemlines. Making full use of their constituent talents, Bad Moves’ debut EP succeeds both as an ensemble and as a unique, cohesive effort. The four concise, rollicking tracks are sometimes bleak but always anthemic. —Dan Trombly

METAL

Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Arc

Agoraphobic Nosebleed formed in 1994, but it took more than 20 years before the (mostly) locally based grind band played their first live show, at 2015’s Maryland Deathfest. They continued with the festival circuit but still hadn’t played a proper concert in an actual club, that is until May of this year, when they performed at Black Cat. Agoraphobic Nosebleed is known for being extremely unconventional and that was readily apparent on

its Arc EP that was released in January. The first in a series of EPs focusing on the musical background of each band member, Arc shows the band trading in the blast beats and seconds-long songs for a slower paced doom metal sound. But this surprising change in sound makes sense when you consider that Arc is the EP based on vocalist Kat Katz, who was the vocalist in now-defunct D.C. doom metal band Salome. —Metal Chris

Periphery, Periphery III: Select Difficulty

In July djent pioneers Periphery released their fifth studio album, Periphery III: Select Difficulty, and the opening track, “The Price Is Wrong,” has been nominated in the Best Metal Performance category at the Grammys. Despite going up against genre heavyweights like Megadeth and Korn, Periphery’s work ethic has given the band a shot at taking the award home in February. Back in January it released the massive double albums Juggernaut: Alpha and Juggernaut: Omega. Each disc was sold independently and they both cracked the top 25 on Billboard’s Top 200. —Metal Chris

Will Tha Rapper, “Pull Up Hop Out”

Head-Roc, The Black Leon Project

Head-Roc, a rapper so respected that he is referred to as the “Mayor of DC Hip-Hop,” dropped his fifth solo album The Black Leon Project this year. Head-Roc is still the same rebellious spirit he was during the glory days of U Street when he became famous for his dynamic performances at (now defunct) clubs like State of the Union and Kaffa House. The Black Leon Project, a superb collection of thought-provoking lyrics and hard-hitting beats (produced by Black Ink), is the work of a veteran artist still in his creative prime. —Sidney Thomas

Resurrecting Queenz

Kenilworth Katrina hand-picked 20 of the top female rappers from the D.C. area and formed an elite collective called Resurrecting Queenz. The collective’s first release was a remake of the classic hip-hop anti-violence track “Self Destruction.” The Queenz performed as a group at The Howard Theatre and many other local venues throughout the year. They also collaborated with DJ EZ Street (WKYS) on several projects. —Sidney Thomas

Will Tha Rapper scored the number one song of the year with the unapologetically ratchet “Pull Up Hop Out.” Fans love his aggressive, takes-no-prisoners attitude and vocals. And to top that off, Will received the ultimate hip-hop compliment in November when Wale dropped his own freestyle over the gritty track. —Sidney Thomas GO-GO

Rare Essence, Turn It Up

Rare Essence, the wickedest band alive, released Turn It Up, its first all-studio album in 15 years. The first and title single showcased lead talkers Shorty Corleone and Calvin “Killa Cal” Henry along with DJ Kool. The second, “Tryna Go,” was a collaboration with Raheem DeVaughn that was featured on BET Soul and Sirius Radio’s “Heart and Soul” channel. —Alona Wartofsky

E.U. at the Freedom Sounds Community Celebration, Sept. 25

E.U. was tapped for the Smithsonian’s three-day “Freedom Sounds” fest celebrating the National Museum of African American History and Culture’s opening. The band’s greatest hits set included “Ooh La La La,” “Slave to the Rhythm,” and “E.U. Freeze.” And when frontman Gregory “Sugarbear” Elliott chanted, “When you walk in the door and you want to gogo, say what?” the audience knew just what to tell him. —Alona Wartofsky Check more of our favorite music of 2016 at washingtoncitypaper.com/arts

washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 21

FILM

Can’t Look Away

Our film critic’s favorite movies of 2016 2016: The year was Rocky Balboa and humanity a slab of meat. Beloved celebrities died, more young African-Americans were unceremoniously killed by authorities, and a bitter election campaign between a woman who’s a bit too politically slick and a man who espoused bigotry as his ultimately winning platform has led to increasing violence and hate crimes against Muslims and people of color. Many films of the year remarked on the horrors facing our country, as well as our checkered history. But other top-notch releases were blissful, funny, or entrancing. So take your pick: education or entertainment? You can’t go wrong with either. —Tricia Olszewski

from the Emancipation Proclamation to the recent prison boom, arguing that the clause “except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted” in the 13th Amendment has essentially allowed a different kind of slavery to exist, with laws and systemic social thinking that have deemed African-Americans second-class and disposable. That there must be a Black Lives Matter movement in the 21st century is tragic and angering, but DuVernay presents one sequence that’s truly frightening: It’s footage of a black woman being pushed out of a rally for President-elect Donald Trump, spliced with archival footage of a black man being pushed along a street in the very same way.

Deadpool

A February surprise. Produced by asshats— according to the opening credits—Marvel’s R-rated standalone about its only pansexual superhero finally gave Ryan Reynolds a script worthy of his comedic talents, with filthy and self-deprecating humor that rarely lets up. (When the film announces that it stars “God’s perfect idiot,” it’s followed by Reynolds’ Sexiest Man Alive! cover on People magazine.) The safe-for-teens Avengers movies may be full of quips, but few are as entertaining as what comes out of the Merc with a mouth.

Weiner

Former Rep. Anthony Weiner’s 2013 phoenix-like run for New York City mayor merely two years after his sexting scandal—a campaign quashed by his sudden return to political ruin—made for a car-crash of a documentary. His charisma and sound mayoral platform shine; equally impressive is the support of his wife, longtime Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, from whom Weiner is now separated. You root for him, then cringe when his inner circle presses for details about his latest whoopsie—an aptly juvenile term regarding a man whose on-camera confession is this: “I did the things.”

OJ: Made in America

Running nearly eight hours and spending only a week in two theaters before airing on ESPN, this documentary embodies the increasing acceptance of multimodal film presentation. But director Ezra Edelman has shaped something extraordinary, offering not just a biography of O.J. Simpson, Buffalo Bills star and alleged murderer, but a deep dive into racial tension, police brutality (particularly at the hands of the LAPD), and the star power Simpson wielded to essentially become colorless in a country roiling in the era of Rodney King. It was that charm and privilege—and a bungled prosecution—that resulted in Simpson’s stunning acquittal of killing his wife, Nicole Brown and acquaintance Ron Goldman. Relive the Trial of the (Last) Century and contemplate the decades-long forces that led to it.

Cameraperson

Director Kirsten Johnson is a documentary cinematographer, and here she’s assembled footage from previous projects to create a sort of visual memoir as well as a presented-with-

La La Land

Writer-director Damien Chazelle’s modern-day musical is at times so ethereal, dancing partners Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling float among the stairs. It’s all hope and love, not doubt and bitterness, for this actress and jazz pianist who, among many, are struggling in the City of Angels—there’s even jubilance on a jammed L.A. freeway. You may think you don’t like musicals, but give this one a try.

out-comment reflection of people and governments from around the world. It’s nonlinear but mesmerizing nonetheless, evoking wonder, horror, fear, inspiration, and pockets of beauty amidst brutality. It’s universal instead of editorial, which makes it all the more satisfying.

22 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

13th

Selma Director Ava DuVernay’s Netflix-released documentary opens with a shocking statistic, voiced by President Barack Obama: The U.S.A. accounts for 5 percent of the world’s population but 25 percent of the world’s incarcerated. 13th’s expert editing traces the trail

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week— The Touring Years

Ron Howard’s valentine to the biggest band of all time. Paul, John, George, and Ringo charm whether they’re playing (the music is irresistible) or just goofing around with press. The documentary uses fan and archival footage never before seen, making this a treat for even diehard fans.

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THEHAMILTONDC.COM Krisha

Movies about family dysfunction and holidays are about as cliche as pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. But Krisha, writer-director Trey Edward Shults’ first feature, is an explosive, stomach-knotting debut that’s more Leaving Las Vegas than Four Christmases. Krisha (Krisha Fairchild) is a middle-aged black sheep who’s reuniting with her estranged— and large—family after 10 years. The result may be what you expect, but Shults’ lively dialogue and searing plot turns lend the calm moments some humor and the horrific moments a knife to the heart.

Newtown

Director Kim A. Snyder spent three years in Newtown, Connecticut, the site of the Dec. 14, 2012, mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School that claimed the lives of 20 children and six adults. The result is wrenching as parents show photos and videos of their slain kids, recall stories and charming habits, and bond

together to lend support for a trauma no one else can understand. No parent should have to bury a child, the saying goes, and Newtown shows us why.

Hell or High Water

Chris Pine, Ben Foster, and Jeff Bridges face off in present-day Texas as the latter (playing a Texas ranger with all the sarcastic gnarliness of his True Grit marshal) pursues Pine and Foster’s bank-robbing brothers. The film is full of small-town humor, such as a crusty old waitress, a bank whose video surveillance system was undergoing a remodel without a backup, and squabbles about whether the thieves were tweakers and what exactly those are. (“Tweakers don’t sleep. They just...tweak.”) With one brother who’s typically law-abiding (Pine) and the other who continuously tempts his probation (Foster), the theme of this story is that the end justifies the means. It’s not right, but Hell or High Water is more than OK. CP

D.C.’s awesomest events calendar. washingtoncitypaper.com/ calendar

DECADES

PARTY

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g Featurain“GIRLS NIGHT OUT”

" LIVE on stage ±

DJ Fusion

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BEST NYE PARTY in Clarendon VA

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Purchase tickets at www.sehkraftbrewing.com/events washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 23

photographs Looking For Something The finest photographs exhibited in D.C. in 2016—at least in this critic’s opinion— ranged from unmediated reality to utter artifice, with several stops along the way. What follows is the eighth annual installment of the five best single images on display in Washington-area museums and galleries. —Louis Jacobson

Thomas Struth, “Museo del Prado 7”

At the National Gallery of Art Struth’s photograph of the visitors to the Prado in Madrid—made after waiting patiently for just the right mix of people—is endlessly absorbing. Caught in one glorious split second, each interaction—notetaking students, a grinning man, a tourist taking a photo—is a revelation, and far more engrossing than images of unpopulated libraries and museums in the same exhibit, Photography Reinvented: The Collection of Robert E. Meyerhoff and Rheda Becker.

Thomas Demand, “Clearing”

At the National Gallery of Art Demand’s modus operandi is to construct miniature renditions of seemingly humdrum scenes that are nonetheless freighted with historical significance. At times these works can be bloodless, tedious, or both, but not his 2003 image, “Clearing.” Viewers see a stunning, sun-dappled garden scene—made from 270,000 pieces of die-cut paper. It seems paradoxical that an artist would feel a need to recreate a tableau that he probably could have captured by camping out for a few hours in a nice patch of shrubbery. But the sheer gusto with which Demand has pulled off this task inspires admiration.

Daniel Schwarz, “The Mexico-United States Border”

At the Goethe-Institut L.A.-based Daniel Schwarz produced a 1,000-inch-long pair of accordion-fold books that use Google satellite imagery to track every inch of the U.S.-Mexico border from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. Think of it as Ed Ruscha’s “Every Building on the Sunset Strip” on steroids. The books, displayed resting on a long table, showed a swath of desert, often unpopulated, sometimes built up. What the stitched-together images show is mesmerizing: The Rio Grande snakes sinuously through fragmentary green patches of irrigated crops, border fencing crosses the landscape with the singular focus of a zip gesture in a Barnett Newman painting, and mountain ranges sprawl in fractal-like curlicues.

Vince Lupo, “Hope”

At Leica Store D.C. Lupo, a Toronto-born, Baltimore-based photographer, has rambled the United States in search of unexpected and eccentric tableaux. Perhaps the finest image in his Leica Store D.C. retrospective, Lupo photographed the façade of the Hope Vol. Fire Dept., focusing on two boarded up windows crowned by what appear to be rising plumes of smoke. But are they? The image echoes, visually and thematically, “McLean, Virginia, December 1978,” Joel Sternfeld’s iconic photograph of a firefighter calmly shopping for pumpkins as a farmhouse behind him is engulfed in flames. (The fire is part of a training exercise.) In both images, the smoke rises to the left at identical 45-degree angles, and in both the viewer wonders what part of the image is real and what is not.

Dorte Verner, “Semi-Nomadic Qashqal Woman, Iran”

At Glen Echo Photoworks Verner, a Ph.D. economist, has hopscotched the globe to track the often subtle impacts of climate change on indigenous peoples, from dried-up lakes in central Asia to mudslide-prone villages in Thailand. The image that stood out in the eighth annual Mirror to the World documentary photography exhibit, curated by D.C. photographer Frank Van Riper, was the one of Iranian nomads and bird in flight. The image freezes the moment as a Qashqai woman gazes at a group of birds in flight— but what provides pathos is Verner’s explanation. The Qashqai people rely on their careful observations of the birds’ behavior to tell them about environmental and food conditions in their area. However, this behavior is becoming more unreliable as the climate changes—a potentially life-and-death problem. 24 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

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CITYLIST

INER

60S-INSPIRED D

Music 25 Galleries 27 Dance 27 Theater 28 Film 29

Music

Serving

EVERYTHING

CITY LIGHTS: Friday

from

BURGERS to BOOZY SHAKES

Friday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. The Pietasters, Mephiskapheles, Hub City Stompers, Loving Paupers. 8 p.m. $15. 930.com.

SPACE HOOPTY

bethesda blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Soul Crackers. 8 p.m. $15. bethesdabluesjazz.com. the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Virginia Coalition, FeelFree. 8 p.m. Sold out. thehamiltondc.com. hill Country barbeCue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Jumpin’ Jupiter. 9:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

A HIP HOP, FUNK & AFRO FUTURISTIC SET with Baronhawk Poitier

dJ Nights

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Dark & Stormy with DJ Shea Van Horn. 9:30 p.m. $5. blackcatdc.com. Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Fillmore Flashback: 80s vs 90s Dance Party featuring Biz Markie. 8 p.m. $15.50. fillmoresilverspring.com.

hip-hop

howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Joe Budden. 11:30 p.m. $27.50–$67.50. thehowardtheatre.com.

couNtry

gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. Miracle On 34th Street With The Woodshedders, By & By, Janet Emma & Seven West. 8:30 p.m. $10–$12. gypsysallys.com.

Jazz

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Jane Monheit. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $40–$45. bluesalley.com.

ElEctroNic

eChostage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Carnage, Bear Grillz. 9 p.m. $25–$40. echostage.com. Flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Kevin Yost, Chadwick, DJ Meegs. 8 p.m. $8. flashdc.com.

FRIDAY NIGHTS, 10:30 - CLOSE

JuaN MaclEaN

If you’re among the legion of dance punks who partied with James Murphy’s LCD Soundsystem or patronized his DFA Records, then you have Juan MacLean to thank. As part of Sub Pop band Six Finger Satellite, MacLean helped pioneer the collision of synthesizers and post-punk that would become DFA’s modus operandi. And the connections didn’t stop there: DFA took its name from the group’s soundsystem, nicknamed “death from above” by its engineer and producer, James Murphy. After the band’s dissolution, MacLean would create some of the label’s best known releases, like slinky electro jam “By The Time I Get To Venus” and hands-in-theair anthem “Happy House.” Apart from his production work, MacLean has established himself as a DJ nonpareil, mixing grooves from the past, present, and future of house, disco, and anything else that gets punks dancing. Juan Maclean performs with Trev-Ski at 10 p.m. at U Street Music Hall, 1115 U St. NW. $10. (202) 588-1889. ustreetmusichall.com. —Chris Kelly

World eChostage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202)

u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. Juan MacLean, Trev-Ski. 10 p.m. $10. ustreetmusichall.com.

503-2330. Madingo Afework, Mahmoud Ahmed,

FuNk & r&B

Jazz

howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Prentiss McNeil. 8 p.m. $20–$35. thehowardtheatre.com.

saturday holiday

kennedy Center ConCert hall 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. The Choral Arts Society of Washington presents A Choral Arts Christmas. 1 p.m. $15–$69. kennedy-center.org.

dJ Nights

blaCk Cat baCkstage 1811 14th St. NW. (202) 6674490. Fresh to Death with DJ Carrie Nation and DJ Jennder. 9:30 p.m. $5. blackcatdc.com. howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Reggae Fest vs. Soca. 10 p.m. $20. thehowardtheatre.com.

Robel Micheal. 9 p.m. $40. echostage.com.

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Herrera–Richardson Holiday Jam with Lena Seikaly. 7 p.m. $20. bluesalley.com.

suNday Jazz kennedy Center millennium stage 2700 F St.

MoNday rock

galaxy hut 2711 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. (703) 5258646. Alice Despard Group, Crowd Scene. 9 p.m. $5. galaxyhut.com.

holiday kennedy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Holiday Vaudeville. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

FREE SCHAEFERS

RESURRECTION NEW YEAR’S DAY BRUNCH WITH DJ RUSSEL 11 - 5pm

Jazz

ElEctroNic

FuNk & r&B

Sepp, Taiga. 8 p.m. $5. flashdc.com.

TO GET A

birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Hayes Carll. 7:30 p.m. $25. birchmere.com.

6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Flash 645 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 827-8791. Nu Zau,

Club

couNtry

blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$40. bluesalley.com.

NW. (202) 467-4600. All-Star Christmas Day Jazz Jam.

BRING YOUR TICKET

AFTER ANY SHOW AT

howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Vivian Green. 8 p.m. $35–$60. thehowardtheatre.com.

2047 9th Street NW located next door to 9:30 club

washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 25

★ 1.75 LITER SPECIAL ★ Knob Creek .................... Maker’s Mark................. Jameson ........................ Jack Daniels .................. Jack Daniels Gentleman Jack Johnnie Walker Black .... Hennessy .......................

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For entire schedule go to Birchmere.com Find us on Facebook/Twitter! Tix @ Ticketmaster.com 800-745-3000

DECEMBER F T

23 27

W 28 TH 29

SAT 31

SOUL CRACKERS HOLIDAY PARTY RONNIE LAWS LET IT FLOW BAND RUTHIE & THE WRANGLERS & THE THRILLBILLYS, “AULD TWANG SYNE” DEANNA BOGART DOC SCANTLIN & HIS IMPERIAL PALMS ORCHESTRA TO RING IN 2017! JANUARY

THE HARDWAY CONNECTION

SU 1

+ Full Power Blues Band

SONNY LANDRETH + SARAH BORGES & THE BROKEN SINGLES 76 DEGREES WEST BAND

SA 7

w/ Special Guest Sugar Bear

W 11 F

W 18

CL SMOOTH UNPLUGGED SUTTLE THE VOCAL WORKSHOP

2 Shows (7/9PM)

JUST ANNOUNCED F

2/3

TH 2/9 S

2/12

BILL LAURANCE DENIECE WILLIAMS JEFF BRADSHAW

feat. Algebra & N’Dambi

M -T 2/13 –14

THE SPINNERS

TH 2/16

ANNALE & SHAKESPEARE

7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda, MD (240) 330-4500 www. BethesdaBluesJazz.com Two Blocks from Bethesda Metro/Red Line Free Parking on Weekends

May 11, 2017, 8pm

kriskristofferson.com

27&28 29

ALLISON MOORER

JUDY COLLINS

20TH ANNUAL HANK WILLIAMS TRIBUTE

feat. Cathy Fink & MarCy Marxer, Bill kirChen roBin & linda WilliaMs, PatriCk MCavinue, Mark sChatz

PIECES OF A DREAM

New Year’s Eve with

THE SELDOM SCENE -8pmLocust Honey String Band & Cabin Creek

Jan 6&7

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tuEsday

WEdNEsday

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Clutch, The Obsessed, Lionize, Silver Spring School of Rock Band. 7 p.m. Sold out. 930.com.

gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. The Fat Catz, Albino Rhino. 8:30 p.m. $8. gypsysallys.com.

rock

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Live At The Fillmore: The Definitive Tribute to The Original Allman Brothers Band. 7:30 p.m. $15–$23. thehamiltondc.com. kennedy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Holiday Vaudeville. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

Tickets on sale through Ticketmaster.com on Fri. 12/23 at 10am!

HAYES CARLL

★ 750 mL SPECIAL ★ Woodford Reserve ............ $25.99 Knob Creek ....................... $21.99 Jack Daniels Black ........... $17.99 Johnnie Walker Blue ....... $149.99 Titos Vodka ....................... $17.99 Absolut Vodka ................... $16.99 Grey Goose Vodka............. $24.99

holiday

WARNER THEATRE, WASH DC. Dec 26

$44.99 $27.99 $24.99 $18.99 $79.99 $16.99 $29.99

DAWN LANDES

11&12

LYNCH STEPHEN "The My Old Heart Tour"

13&15

EDDIE FROM OHIO

w/Sara Niemietz & Snuffy Walden (13) & Peyton Tochterman (15)

couNtry birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Judy Collins. 7:30 p.m. $59.50. birchmere.com. hill Country barbeCue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Wild The Waters. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

Jazz bethesda blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Ronnie Laws. 8 p.m. $35–$40. bethesdabluesjazz.com. blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$40. bluesalley.com.

FuNk & r&B Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. The Roots, Rare Essence, DJ Kool. 8 p.m. $69.50. fillmoresilverspring.com. howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Lyfe Jennings, Tray Chaney. 8 p.m. $35–$60. thehowardtheatre.com.

rock

the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Start Making Sense, HmfO. 7:30 p.m. $18–$23. thehamiltondc.com.

holiday kennedy Center millennium stage 2700 F St. NW. (202) 467-4600. Celtic Holiday. 6 p.m. Free. kennedy-center.org.

hip-hop howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. EPMD, Handles. 8 p.m. $26–$50. thehowardtheatre.com.

couNtry birChmere 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. (703) 549-7500. Judy Collins. 7:30 p.m. $59.50. birchmere.com.

Jazz blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$40. bluesalley.com.

ElEctroNic Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. The White Panda. 8 p.m. $24.50. fillmoresilverspring.com.

FuNk & r&B bethesda blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Let It Flow Band. 8 p.m. $20. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

CITY LIGHTS: saturday

ANTHONY DAVID

with special guest

CAROL RIDDICK

20& 21

Kentucky RICKY SKAGGS &Thunder 22 THE ASSOCIATION SCOTT 26 MAC McANALLY MILLER

JUNIOR BROWN

THE FOUR BITCHIN’ BABES

Ayla PHIL VASSAR (Band) Brown

Debi Smith, Sally Fingerett, Deirdre Flint, Megon McDonough

String FIVE FOR FIGHTING Quartet

Feb 3

MARSHALL CRENSHAW

& THE BOTTLE ROCKETS

CLARE BOWEN ‘star of Nashville’

9&10

D ERIC ROBERSON Maurice

11&12

WILL DOWNING

BURLESQUE-A-PADES

in LOVELAND 10th Anniversary Show!

26 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

DIE HARD

The holidays are a weird time—especially this year, if you and your family don’t see eye to eye. There’s forced holiday cheer and uncomfortable conversations with relatives. Perhaps old sibling rivalries flare up. Whatever the case, it’s probably hard to deal with. Which is why you need to indulge in the time-honored tradition of a family viewing of a holiday classic. No, I’m not talking about It’s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, or A Christmas Story. I’m talking about fucking Die Hard, the 1988 John McTiernan classic about a New York cop arriving at his estranged wife’s holiday party in Los Angeles to make amends, only to have his plans foiled by some German terrorists. It’s a bloody, badass action movie that might not seem like a holiday movie if not for the fact that it takes place on Christmas Eve, but that’s not true: Deep down it’s a touching story of a man who goes to great lengths to be with his family on Christmas. And nothing brings the whole family together quite like Bruce Willis delivering his infamous “Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker” line before murdering a terrorist. The film screens at 9:20 p.m. at AFI Silver Theatre and Cultural Center, 8633 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. $5–$13. (301) 495-6700. afi.com/silver. —Matt Cohen

TATTOO PARADISE

CITY LIGHTS: suNday

OY VEY IN A MANGER

Every Christmas Eve, Fox News broadcasts a live stream of worshippers gathering in Bethlehem to celebrate the birth of Jesus despite the fact that he might have been born in the spring. Other groups act out the nativity story in fields and churchyards around the world with baby dolls, donkeys, and lambs. A theater inside a Jewish community center is not the likeliest place to find a performance about the birth of Christ during the holiday season, but the Kinsey Sicks are no ordinary performance ensemble. The so-called Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet brings its holiday show, Oy Vey in a Manger, to Theater J for a week this holiday season. It tells the story of four “chicks with shticks” angling to sell their manger before it’s foreclosed on and includes a lot of juicy drama between Jews and gentiles. On a night when nearly every other theater in town is dark, take in some audacious comedy and avoid worshipping an infant. The musical runs Dec. 20 to Dec. 28 at Theater J, 1529 16th St. NW. $17–$47. (202) 777-3210. theaterj.org. —Caroline Jones

ADAMS MORGAN, DC 2444 18th St. NW Washington DC 20009 202.232.6699

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thursday rock

9:30 Club 815 V St. NW. (202) 265-0930. Big Something, Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, Bencoolen. 7 p.m. $20. 930.com. dC9 1940 9th St. NW. (202) 483-5000. Ruse de Guerre, Deer Eat Birds, Cold Beaches. 8:30 p.m. $8. dcnine.com. Fillmore silver spring 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. (301) 960-9999. Ethan Spalding and the Traprock Family, Uncalled4band. 8 p.m. $20. fillmoresilverspring.com. hill Country barbeCue 410 7th St. NW. (202) 556-2050. Bobby Thompson & Revelator Hill. 8:30 p.m. Free. hillcountrywdc.com.

couNtry bethesda blues and Jazz 7719 Wisconsin Ave., Bethesda. (240) 330-4500. Ruthie & the Wranglers, The Thrillbillys. 8 p.m. $12–$15. bethesdabluesjazz.com.

BluEs gypsy sally’s 3401 K St. NW. (202) 333-7700. People’s Blues Of Richmond, The Shack Band. 9 p.m. $13. gypsysallys.com.

Jazz blues alley 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 3374141. Cyrus Chestnut Trio. 8 p.m.; 10 p.m. $30–$40. bluesalley.com.

ElEctroNic eChostage 2135 Queens Chapel Road NE. (202) 503-2330. Zedd. 9 p.m. $40–$50. echostage.com. u street musiC hall 1115 U St. NW. (202) 588-1889. Stööki Sound, Imad Royal, Jett Chandon. 10 p.m. $12. ustreetmusichall.com.

FuNk & r&B the hamilton 600 14th St. NW. (202) 787-1000. Yellow Dubmarine. 7:30 p.m. $14.40–$25.50. thehamiltondc.com. howard theatre 620 T St. NW. (202) 803-2899. Freddie Jackson. 8 p.m. $39.50–$65. thehowardtheatre.com.

Galleries

hillyer art spaCe 9 Hillyer Court NW. (202) 3380325. hillyerartspace.org. Ongoing: “Format.” Photographer Laila Abdul-Hadi Jadallah curates this exhibition of small, photo-inspired art presented at Hillyer as part of Fotoweek DC. Nov. 7 to Dec. 30. long view gallery 1234 9th St. NW. (202) 2324788. longviewgallerydc.com. Ongoing: “Michelle Peterson-Albandoz.” The local artist, known for her work with wood, displays a series of new pieces inspired by the American flag. Dec. 1 to Jan. 8. montpelier arts Center 9652 Muirkirk Road, Laurel. (301) 377-7800. arts.pgparks.com. Ongoing: “Annual Holiday Group Show.” Montpelier’s resident artists showcase sculptures, paintings, and photos at this year-end exhibition. Dec. 3 to Dec. 31. Ongoing: “Urban Color.” Photographers Susan Stregack and Rollin Fraser display a series of detailed, colorful images captured during their explorations of cities. Nov. 5 to Dec. 31. Ongoing: “Single Lens Reflex-tions.” Local photographers turn their attention to their families and familiar locations in this group show. Nov. 6 to Dec. 31. morton Fine art 1781 Florida Ave. NW. (202) 6282787. mortonfineart.com. Ongoing: “Holiday Small Works Show.” Morton’s resident artists display their work at this annual showcase. Dec. 3 to Jan. 5. washington printmakers gallery 1641 Wisconsin Ave. NW. (202) 669-1497. washingtonprintmakers.com. Closing: “Danny Schweers.” The photographer presents a series of humorous and insightful images. Nov. 30 to Dec. 24.

Dance

manassas ballet theatre’s nutCraCker The local dance company presents its own take on The Nutcracker, featuring music from a live orchestra and a salute to the military on opening night. Hylton Performing Arts Center. 10960 George Mason Circle,

washingtoncitypaper.com december 23, 2016 27

Manassas. Dec. 23 3 p.m. $25–$65. (703) 993-7759. hyltoncenter.org.

CITY LIGHTS: MoNday

cyrus chEstNut trio

As a little kid, Cyrus Chestnut used his two-dollar allowance to buy a Thelonious Monk album because he liked the cover. Since then he’s been improvising on the piano with the likes of Wynton Marsalis, Dizzy Gillespie, and The Betty Carter Trio. Chestnut is now a full-time lecturer in Howard University’s music department. He’s also been called the best jazz pianist in the world. In addition to his work at Howard, Chestnut plays around the country but, as he’s said in numerous interviews, the best part of his job remains his gospel work. He plays at his own local church in Brooklyn whenever he can and recorded an album of hymns and spirituals in 1996. Around the holidays, audiences can expect some of that spirituality to shine through, but with a slightly lighter touch—in addition to traditional carols, Chestnut has a soft spot for holiday recordings from pop culture and released his own arrangement of A Charlie Brown Christmas in 2000. The Cyrus Chestnut Trio performs at 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. at Blues Alley, 1073 Wisconsin Ave. NW. $30–$40. (202) 337-4141. bluesalley.com. —Noa Rosinplotz

CITY LIGHTS: tuEsday

mosCow ballet’s great russian nutCraCker The classic holiday ballet is embellished with Russian touches, elaborate costumes, and decorated sets in this production that also includes a 60-foottall Christmas tree. Music Center at Strathmore. 5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda. Dec. 23 8 p.m. $28–$88. (301) 581-5100. strathmore.org. the nutCraCker The Washington Ballet returns to the Warner Theatre with its annual, D.C.-influenced take on the classic holiday ballet about enchanted toys. Local insiders including media personalities and councilmembers appear in cameo roles. Warner Theatre. 513 13th St. NW. Dec. 23 7 p.m.; Dec. 24 2 p.m.; Dec. 24 7 p.m. $30–$120. (202) 783-4000. warnertheatredc.com. step aFrika!’s magiCal, musiCal, holiday step show The local African dance company returns with its annual winter production that incorporates percussive movement, music, and an appearance by DJ Frosty the Snowman. Atlas Performing Arts Center. 1333 H St. NE. Dec. 27 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 28 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 29 7:30 p.m. $18–$40. (202) 399-7993. atlasarts.org.

Theater

blaCk nativity This long-running musical by Langston Hughes celebrates the birth of Jesus and the holiday traditions of black Americans Anacostia Playhouse. 2020 Shannon Place SE. To Dec. 31 $30–$40. (202) 290-2328. anacostiaplayhouse.com. Carousel Arena’s annual holiday musical comes in the form of this Rodgers and Hammerstein classic about a bad boy and a good girl who fall in love, only to encounter great tragedy. Local favorites Nicholas Rodriguez and E. Faye Butler star in this favorite, which features songs including “If I Loved You” and “You’ll Never Walk Alone.” Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 24 $64–$99. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. a Christmas Carol Veteran local actor Craig Wallace takes on the role of Scrooge in this popular musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ tale about kindness and holiday cheer. Celebrating its 35th season at Ford’s, Michael Wilson’s adaptation is directed by Michael Baron. Ford’s Theatre. 511 10th St. NW. To Dec. 31 $22–$92. (202) 347-4833. fords.org.

Fully Committed A restaurant reservation taker showcases his amazing dexterity in this comedic and engaging one-man show featuring local actor Tom Story. Recently seen on Broadway, the MetroStage version is directed by Alan Paul. MetroStage. 1201 N. Royal St., Alexandria. To Jan. 8 $55–$60. (703) 5489044. metrostage.org. into the woods Stephen Sondheim’s acclaimed musical that wonders what happens to fairy tale characters after they find their “happily ever after” is reimagined at the Kennedy Center in a new production from Fiasco Theater. Kennedy Center Eisenhower Theater. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 8 $45–$175. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org. an irish Carol Keegan Theatre’s annual holiday tradition continues with its presentation of this Christmas Carol adaptation set in a Dublin pub. When its owner loses touch with humanity, a series of ghosts visit to remind him about the important things in life. Keegan Theatre at Church Street Theater. 1742 Church St. NW. To Dec. 31 $35–$45. (202) 265-3767. keegantheatre.com. mary poppins The well-loved movie musical about a nanny who brightens the lives of two dour children becomes a high-flying stage show in this production that features songs like “Supercalifragalisticexpealidocious” and “Practically Perfect.” Olney Theatre Center. 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney. To Jan. 1 $18–$80. (301) 924-3400. olneytheatre.org. moby diCk The white whale comes alive in this lively adaptation of Herman Melville’s classic man-versusnature tale. Jamie Abelson and Christopher Donahue star as Ishmael and Ahab. Arena Stage. 1101 6th St. SW. To Dec. 24 $55–$90. (202) 488-3300. arenastage.org. oy vey in a manger The Kinsey Sicks, described as “America’s Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet,” share gentile and Jewish stories in this lively holiday pageant that finds the chicks with schticks trying to sell their manger before it gets foreclosed. Theater J. 1529 16th St. NW. To Dec. 28 $17–$47. (202) 7773210. theaterj.org. the seCond City’s blaCk side oF the moon Woolly Mammoth and the Chicago-based comedy ensemble team up once again for a new show, this one with a cast of black comedians who imagine the future, describing everything from a new planet ruled by Barack Obama to police brutality and everyone’s obsession with gluten intolerance. Woolly Mammoth Theatre. 641 D St. NW. To Jan. 1 $20–$69. (202) 3933939. woollymammoth.net. the seCret garden The classic children’s novel about an orphan who discovers the secrets locked away in her uncle’s mansion comes to Shakespeare

CITY LIGHTS: WEdNEsday

EpMd

thE roots

Before they were known all over the world as the musical sidekicks of Jimmy Fallon, The Roots built a reputation as being one of the baddest live bands around. As a live hip-hop group, The Roots are steeped in the myriad of styles, songs, beats, and breaks that have flavored records from Grandmaster Flash to Kanye West. The band is just as likely to break into a cover of Curtis Mayfield as it is to bust out an original number bursting with funk in the style of Prince and James Brown. Regardless of the night, the music, the dancing, and the sweat doesn’t stop until the members finally decide to bound off stage. Whether you’re looking to hear blistering virtuosity, absorb clever rhymes, or just dance all night, The Roots are the band for you. Opening for The Roots is a local favorite: OG go-go outfit Rare Essence, joined by special guest rapper DJ Kohl. Warm up for The Roots with some old-school D.C. funk on the dance floor. The Roots perform with Rare Essence and DJ Kool at 8 p.m. at The Fillmore, 8656 Colesville Road, Silver Spring. $69.50. (301) 960-9999. fillmoresilverspring.com. —Jackson Sinnenberg 28 december 23, 2016 washingtoncitypaper.com

Most of EPMD’s late ’80s and early ’90s output holds up because the New York duo of Erick Sermon and Parrish Smith had an uncluttered vision for combining bluntbut-appealing vocal patterns and relentless funk. Hits like “So Wat Cha Sayin’” and “You Gots To Chill” weren’t rocket science, but where other rappers would have gotten gimmicky, EPMD smartly stuck to the thump. Erick and Parrish also weren’t physically pretty, and they knew it, but their rumpled brand of confidence—see the cover of 1989’s Unfinished Business for proof—spoke to anybody who wished LL Cool J kept his shirt on a little more. The upshot? Because they never sounded or looked like kids, they can rap those old hits without a hint of compromise, which is exactly what they’ll do at the Howard Theatre. If you happen to laugh a little, it’s only because their bravado somehow never spoiled. EPMD performs with Handles at 8 p.m. at the Howard Theatre, 620 T St. NW. $26–$50. (202) 803-2899. thehowardtheatre.com. —Joe Warminsky

CITY LIGHTS: thursday

haNk WilliaMs triButE

1811 14TH ST NW

www.blackcatdc.com

We’re on to the third generation of artists named Hank Williams presenting their takes on contemporary country music, but it’s the original one who continues to cast a long shadow over the genre. Hank Williams died in 1953, but many artists working today still look to the deep-voiced vocalist for inspiration. Local performers remain devoted to keeping his memory alive as well. For the past two decades, in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, musicians like Cathy Fink and Marcy Marxer, Bill Kirchen, and Mark Scatz sing favorite songs like “Your Cheating Heart” and “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” to honor the legacy of the so-called “Hillbilly Shakespeare.” The concert is always a lively affair but as the tribute marks its 20th year and the Birchmere celebrates its 50th year of operation, expect this year to feel extra celebratory. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. at The Birchmere, 3701 Mount Vernon Ave., Alexandria. $29.50. (703) 549-7500. birchmere.com. —Caroline Jones

@blackcatdc

DEC / JAN SHOWS THU 22 FRI 23

SAT 24 THU 29 FRI 30

FRI 30 SAT 31

Theatre Company in the form of a musical, featuring favorite songs like “Lily’s Eyes” and “A Bit of Earth.” Sidney Harman Hall. 610 F St. NW. To Dec. 31 $44–$118. (202) 547-1122. shakespearetheatre.org. silver belles When the longtime director of a town’s Christmas pageant suddenly dies, four silver-haired singers join together to ensure the show continues. Combining elements of popular sitcoms like The Golden Girls and Designing Women, this new show starring local favorites Donna Migliaccio, Nova Y. Payton, Ilona Dulaski, Naomi Jacobson and Sandy Bainum arrives just in time for the holidays. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Dec. 24 $40–$90. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org. sleeping beauty The classic fairy tale about a young woman who sleeps for a hundred years after pricking her finger is transformed into a dark, gothic tale in this new, wordless adaptation from Synetic Theater. Synetic Theater at Crystal City. 1800 South Bell St. , Arlington. To Jan. 8 $20–$60. (866) 811-4111. synetictheater.org. titaniC: the musiCal The stirring musical about the sinking of the famous ocean liner is reimagined at Signature by director Eric Schaeffer. Designed to be performed in the round, the production tells the story of the ship’s final minutes. Signature Theatre. 4200 Campbell Ave., Arlington. To Jan. 29 $40–$108. (703) 820-9771. sigtheatre.org. wiCked The touring company of the long-running Broadway musical about the good witches and bad witches Dorothy encounters in Oz returns to the Kennedy Center for the holiday season. Kennedy Center Opera House. 2700 F St. NW. To Jan. 8 $79–$229. (202) 467-4600. kennedy-center.org.

Film

slet. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

la la land Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone star in this contemporary musical about a pianist and an aspiring actress who fall in love. Directed by Damien Chazelle, best known for directing 2014’s Whiplash. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

DARK & STORMY

DANCE / ELECTRO / RETRO

FRESH 2 DEATH

90S HIP HOP / POP / R&B

GLOW END THEORY

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THE BLACK CAT

NYE BALL

PEACHES O’DELL

gold Matthew McConaughey plays a down-on-hisluck businessman who teams up with a geologist to find gold in the Indonesian jungle in this crime drama. Directed by Stephen Gagan. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) hidden Figures Janelle Monae, Taraji P. Henson, and Octavia Spencer play three black scientists who worked to create projections for John Glenn’s orbit of the Earth and other early NASA missions in this drama based on true events. Directed by Theodore Melfi. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

DES DEMONAS

& HER ORCHESTRA

TONY ANTHONY

& HIS MALVIVANTS SAT 7

DJ DREDD DRAKE VS KANYE

SUN 22

TOKYO POLICE CLUB

SAT 28

AUSTRA

DANCE PARTY

a monster Calls J.A. Bayona directs this fantasy film about a young boy who relies on his relationship with a humanoid tree to cope with his feelings of loss and bullying. Featuring Felicity Jones, Liam Neeson, and Sigourney Weaver. (See washingtoncitypaper. com for venue information) rogue one: a star wars story Gareth Edwards directs the latest story in the Star Wars canon, in which the Rebellion attempts to steal plans for the Death Star, leading to a high-stakes conflict. Starring Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, and Alan Tudyk. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information) sing Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, and Seth MacFarlane provide voices to animated animals in this comedy about a koala who aims to restore his old theater by using it as a venue for a singing competition. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

assassin’s Creed A man discovers he is part of a secret group of assassins after exploring his past in this thriller starring Michael Fassbender and Jeremy Irons. Directed by Justin Kurzel. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

the spaCe between us A young man born on Mars visits Earth for the first time in this adventure flick starring Britt Robertson, Janet Montgomery, and Carla Gugino. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

Collateral beauty As a man struggles to cope with tragedy, he seeks understanding by writing letters to Love, Time, and Death. The journey to understanding leads him to interact with other wanderers. Starring Will Smith,Helen Mirren, and Kate Win-

why him? James Franco and Bryan Cranston star in this comedy about a boy who tries to get to know his girlfriend’s dad but ends up feuding with him instead. Directed by John Hamburg. (See washingtoncitypaper.com for venue information)

TAKE METRO!

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presentations with research and sound solutions for those needs. You must think creatively for clients and be consistent with conducting constant follow-up. Extensive in-person & telephone prospecting is required. Your major focus will be on developing new business through new customer acquisition and selling new marketing solutions to existing customer accounts. Account Executives, on a weekly basis, perform in person calls to a minimum of 10-20 executive level decision makers and/or small business owners and must be able to communicate Washington City Papers value proposition that is solution-based and differentiatesÂ us from any competitors. Account Executive will be responsible for attaining sales goals and must communicate progress on goals and the strategies and tactics used to reach revenue targets to Washington City Paper management. Qualifications, background, and disposition of the ideal candidate for this position include:

FIND YOUR OUTLET. RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS FIND YOUR OUTLET. HEALTH/ RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT CLASSIFIEDS HEALTH/ MIND, BODY MIND, BODY & SPIRIT & SPIRIT http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ http://www washingtoncitypaper.com/

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ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE â&#x20AC;&#x201C; ADVERTISING SALES

Moving? Find A Helping Hand Today Business Opportunities

Years of Relevant Experience: 1+

9 Delivery 43 Alpine peak entrance, often 44 Pigsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hangout 1 Show rosters 10 Sonicare rival 45 Actress 6 Scanned lines 11 Meat shop Hathaway with 10 Norse god who 12 Gung-ho about not enough carried a spear 13 Like some money? named Gungnir â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s clothing 48 Revolutionary 14 Now, in 21 Capek play doctor Nicaragua that coined the 49 Twin Falls st. 15 Small Cruise word â&#x20AC;&#x153;robotâ&#x20AC;? 50 Those who know 16 Thinker 22 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mighty ___ everything about Descartes Functional Requirements: a Roseâ&#x20AC;? philosopher 17 Vision-correcting Lifting, carrying, walking long 25 Makes dinner Immanuel? procedure distances in allOUTLET. types of weather, FIND YOUR 26 Full-length 58 Off base?: Abbr. standing for long periods of time, 18 In need of rain RELAX, traveling UNWIND, the entire RCN footprint 27 Second take 59 Spooky movie 19 Female choir as needed,CLASSIFIEDS use of both hands, use REPEAT genre voice of fingers, near vision, far vision, http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ 60 Sports bureau HEALTH/MIND, BODY heading (aid permitted), ability to 20 Uprising over LAST WEEK: SWAPPING SIDES notes/write. 62 Not recorded & make SPIRIT a tax on dark 63 Comical â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dameâ&#x20AC;? beers? Environmental Conditions: $ 7 2 0 6 ) 2 * 6 - 2 7 http://www.washingtonci64 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Crimeâ&#x20AC;? sound FIND YOUR Works outside, works inside, extypaper.com/ 23 Slugabed 2 % 2 ( 2 ' ( 3 , / 2 7 posed to excessive heat or cold, 65 Table insert OUTLET. RELAX, 24 Light touch excessive humidity/ dampness/ / , $ 0 * , 1 ( 1 ' 2REPEAT 5 66 Flip-flop digits 25 Glance from chilling, slippery or uneven walkUNWIND, 67 Red state? ing surfaces, working around * 2 2 6 ( / , 1 * 2 6 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Rocky Horrorâ&#x20AC;? CLASSIFIEDS moving objects or vehicles, workactor Tim? ing closely with others, working ' 8 2 ) / 8 ( $ 5 ( HEALTH/MIND, Down alone, irregular hours/rotation 31 Depressing BODY & SPIRIT 0 $ 1 * ( 5 0 ( $ 6 / ( 6 1 Nev. neighbor shifts/working weekend. comments? http://www.washingt2 Character that ( * * 2 ( / . 34 Late lunchtime Please apply on our website at oncitypaper.com/ was the basis for www.rcn.com/careers 35 Conquistadoresâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; 6 8 5 9 , 9 $ / 7 , & 7 $ & Captain Hook quest We are proud to be an EEO/AA , 2 1 http://www.washington, 2 7 $ 3 Just meh 36 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Westworldâ&#x20AC;? employer M/F/D/V. We maintain a 4 Colored corn 5 , ' , 1 * % citypaper.com/ ( 5 * 0 $ 1 drug-free workplace and perform actress ___ pre-employment substance abuse cereal Rachel Wood ( ( ( ( ' 6 . ( 1 2 testing. 5 Drink that begins 37 Best Costume 5 ( ' 7 , ( & $ . ( 6 by placing a at a Halloween shot on two $ / ( ' 5 $ 7 % $ 1 - 2 party, e.g.? chopsticks 41 Singer/ $ 0 ( 2 ; % 2 : ) , 1 6 Gruntâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s group songwriter Vile http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com . ( $ 1 ( 7 1 7 / ( 6 3 1 7 Untouched 42 Perry Ellis 8 Bed with a product Out with the old, In mobile

Across

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ACCOUNTANT - BA/BS in Acctâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;g or equiv., know Microsoft OutlookÂŽ, ExcelÂŽ, WordÂŽ, Offi ceÂŽ, SAGE & QuickBooks & proof of leg. rt. to work perm. in US reqâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d. Analyze financial info, prep. financial/tax reports, maintain record of assets, liabilities, http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/ profi t & loss, tax liability. FT, M-F, 8-5; eve., holi. & wknds. as need. Mail CV to RAH OF WASHINGTON, INC, 1823 M. ST, N.W., Wash., DC 20036.

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â&#x20AC;˘ Two years of business to business and outside customer sales experience â&#x20AC;˘ Experience developing new territories & categories including lead generation and cold calling â&#x20AC;˘ Ability to carry and deliver on a sales budget â&#x20AC;˘ Strong verbal and written communication skills â&#x20AC;˘ Able to work both independently and in a team environment â&#x20AC;˘ Energetic, self-motivated, possessing an entrepreneurial spirit and strong work ethic â&#x20AC;˘ Organized, detail and results oriented with professional presentation abilities â&#x20AC;˘ Willing to embrace new technology and social media â&#x20AC;˘ MS Office suite proficiency - prior experience with a CMR/CMS software application http://www.washingtâ&#x20AC;˘ Be driven to succeed, tech savvy, and a world class oncitypaper.com/ listener â&#x20AC;˘ Enjoy cultivating relationships with area businesses

RELAX, UNWIND, REPEAT We offer product training, a competitive CLASSIFIEDS compensation package comprised of a base salary plus commissions, and a full array of benefits HEALTH/ including medical/dental/life/disability insurance, a 401K plan, and paid time off including holidays. MIND, BODY Compensation potential has no limits â&#x20AC;&#x201C; we pay & based SPIRIT on performance. http://www.washingtFor consideration please send an oncitypaper.com/

introduction letter and resume to

Melanie Babb at mbabb@washingtoncitypaper.com. Out with the old, No phone calls please. In with the new Post your listing with Washington City Paper Classifieds washingtoncitypaper.com December 23, 2016 31

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F R C M

M Hel

I.M.P. PRESENTS Merriweather Post Pavilion • Columbia, MD

deadmau5 ............................................................................................... APRIL 8

THIS WEEK’S SHOWS MUSIC MAKES LIFE BETTER PRESENTS A HOPE FOR HENRY BENEFIT

Crash Boom Bang w/ That Lying Bitch & His Dream of Lions................... Th 22 The Pietasters w/ Mephiskapheles • Hub City Stompers • Loving Paupers .. F 23

M3 ROCK FESTIVAL FEATURING L METAT! FES

Ratt featuring Pearcy, De Martini, Croucier • Kix • Loverboy • Cinderella’s Tom Keifer • Winger • Dokken and more! .......APRIL 28 & 29

M3 SOUTHERN ROCK CLASSIC FEATURING

Lynyrd Skynyrd • Charlie Daniels Band • Outlaws • Molly Hatchet • Black Stone Cherry and more! .... APRIL 30

DECEMBER ACTION HOUSE VAPE AND ALL GOOD PRESENT

Big Something & Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band w/ Bencoolen .. Th 29

HERN SOUTOCK R ! E F ST

2 and 3-day Tickets On Sale now.

I.M.P. & GOLDENVOICE PRESENT AN EVENING WITH

JANUARY ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Lettuce w/ TAUK .................................................................................... F 6 & Sa 7 Cracker and Camper Van Beethoven ................................................. Th 12 ALL GOOD PRESENTS TWO EVENINGS WITH Lotus Reduced-price two-night ticket available. ......................................... F 13 & Sa 14

Wax Tailor w/ L’Orange ................................................................................. W 18 And Still We Dance: A Dancefloor Journey

feat. DJs Ultra Naté and James “DJ Dub” Graham ................................. Th 19

Sigur

Rós ............................................................................................... MAY 25

• For full lineups and more info, visit merriweathermusic.com • 930.com

Echostage • Washington, D.C.

Run The Jewels

w/ The Gaslamp Killer • Spark Master Tape • CUZ ..............................................JANUARY 12 2135 Queens Chapel Rd. NE • Ticketmaster

PHOX w/ Cuddle Magic ..................................................................................... W 25 Luke Combs w/ Muscadine Bloodline .......................................................... Th 26 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

The Infamous Stringdusters w/ The Brothers Comatose ....................... F 27 Hot In Herre: 2000s Dance Party

with DJs Will Eastman and Brian Billion ...................................................Sa 28

EagleBank Arena • Fairfax, VA

BASTILLE .................................................................................... MARCH 28 Ticketmaster

G. Love & Special Sauce w/ Ripe ............................................................. Su 29

Verizon Center • Washington D.C.

FEBRUARY

White Lies w/ VOWWS ..................................................................................... W 1 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS ..................................... APRIL 12

Greensky Bluegrass w/ Fruition ...................................................... Th 2 & F 3 Sampha ............................................................................................................. W 8

Ticketmaster

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

BoomBox ........................................................................................................ F 10

1215 U Street NW Washington, D.C.

ALL GOOD PRESENTS

The Wood Brothers w/ T Sisters ...............................................................Sa 11 Parquet Courts w/ Mary Lattimore ...............................................................M 13 Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears.................................................... Tu 21 ALL GOOD PRESENTS

Tribal Seeds ................................................................................................ Su 26 Japandroids w/ Craig Finn & The Uptown Controllers ..................................M 27

MANY MORE SHOWS ON SALE!

9:30 CUPCAKES

930.com

The best thing you could possibly put in your mouth Cupcakes by BUZZ... your neighborhood bakery in Alexandria, VA. | www.buzzonslaters.com

SPEND NEW YEAR’S EVE WITH

White Ford Bronco: DC’s All 90s Band ................................... DECEMBER 31 STORY DISTRICT’S

Top Shelf ....................................................................................................JANUARY 14 AN EVENING WITH

Tom Chaplin of Keane Playing songs from his new album plus Keane hits ......JANUARY 17 STORY DISTRICT’S

Sucker for Love: A Valentine’s Day Special .................................... SAT FEBRUARY 11 I.M.P. & ALL GOOD PRESENT

Leo Kottke & Keller Williams .................................................FEBRUARY 18 Hayes Grier & The Boys........................................................................FEBRUARY 20 MURRAY & PETER PRESENT

9:30 CLUB PRESENTS AT U STREET MUSIC HALL Basecamp w/ Lauv ........................F JAN 27 Book of Love ..................................... Sa 11 Tim Presley & Cate Le Bon ........... Sa 28 Mickey Avalon .................................... F 17 ALL GOOD PRESENTS Moon Hooch w/ Honeycomb ..........W FEB 1 Lisa Hannigan................................... Th 23 Escort .....................................................F 3 The Griswolds w/ Dreamers & Wylder .. F 24 • Buy advance tickets at the 9:30 Club box office

The Naked Magicians 18+ to enter. ..................................................FEBRUARY 24 AN EVENING WITH

Dawes ................................................................................................................ MARCH 8 TWO EVENINGS WITH

The Magnetic Fields: 50 Song Memoir ............................. MARCH 18 (Songs 1-25) & MARCH 19 (Songs 26-50)

Brian Wilson presents Pet Sounds : The Final Performances

with special guests Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin....................................................... MAY 4

AN EVENING OF STORYTELLING WITH

Garrison Keillor ........................................................................................... MAY 21 • thelincolndc.com • U Street (Green/Yellow) stop across the street!

Tickets for 9:30 Club shows are available through TicketFly.com, by phone at 1-877-4FLY-TIX, and at the 9:30 Club box office. 9:30 CLUB BOX OFFICE HOURS are 12-7PM Weekdays & Until 11PM on show nights. 6-11PM on Sat & 6-10:30PM on Sun on show nights.

PARKING: THE OFFICIAL 9:30 parking lot entrance is on 9th Street, directly behind the 9:30 club. Buy your advance parking tickets at the same time as your concert tickets!

HAPPY HOUR DRINK PRICES

AFTER THE SHOW AT THE BACK BAR!

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