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T H E M I SNOM E R of C ON V E R SION THERAPY STEVE G ALL AG H E R
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IF W E WAN T CHANGE IN OUR LIVES BI LLY G R A HA M
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the WOMAN WHO WAS A SIN N ER CARMEN PAT E
MAGAZINE PURE LIFE MINISTRIES is fully committed to bringing the hope, healing and restoration found only in Christ to those who have been touched by the leprosy of sexual sin. Our staff members are graduates of one of our counseling programs themselves and have responded to the call of God to freely give to others the same compassion and mercy which the Father freely bestowed upon them. They are men and women who know how to speak the truth of God in love. In fulfilling our call, Pure Life Ministries is founded upon the authority of the Word of God as the supreme and allsufficient Truth for overcoming sin. We unashamedly preach a message of repentance unto salvation. Everything we do— whether in our counseling programs, our speaking ministry or the distribution of our books and resources—is based on the Word of God, with the goal of leading others to victory over sexual sin through a deeper life in God.
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T H E WAY I S E E I T
A Tongue-in-Cheek look at MY CONVERSATION WITH DER FÜHRER BY STEVE GALLAGHER Founder and President of Pure Life Ministries
“Yah,” he would whine. “Sin never pays.”
WW2 had been all over for nine years by the time I was born, but I’m pretty sure if I had been around at the time, Adolph Hitler would have summoned me to Berlin to advise him on his future course of action. A good time for this would have been early 1941. By this time, Hitler and the euphoric German people had basked for nine months in their lightning victories over France, Holland and Belgium. If an American minister such as I arrived then, it would, of course, have been accompanied by a great deal of media attention. Though most people would have been incredulous, I would have been eminently qualified to offer him counsel. With a long history of indulging in sin and then helping others out of it, I would have been someone who could reliably predict his inevitable future. “First of all,” I would have begun deliberately, “in the beginning, sin is exhilarating. Right now you are flush with victory. It seems as though everything will continue to be wonderful. But I’m afraid it is all an illusion. This period of elation will only last for a season.” “The second thing I must tell you is that sin always leads the person to make foolish mistakes.” This bit of news would have undoubtedly rattled the Führer. “Adolph,” I would say condescendingly, as if speaking to a child, “you and your generals have made some brilliant moves, but I guarantee that your string of victories is about to come to an end. They must because sin corrupts the mind, which in turn leads to terrible errors in judgment. You can count on making one bad decision after another. I’m afraid there’s no way around it.” (Sure enough, they did in fact make a series of disastrous
military blunders and within six months, the Wehrmaht lay in icy ruins outside Moscow.) “The third thing I should probably mention is that sin is a liar.” At this the little dictator’s face would have grimaced. “It promises so much fulfillment, but in the end, it hollows a person out and strips him of everything decent. It doesn’t take long for the thrill of sin to come to an end.” “And Adolph, there’s something else, in all good conscience, I must tell you.” “Yah?” he would whimper. “Sin always destroys. You and your nation are quickly heading for destruction. You are in real trouble!” “Vell,” he would fretfully respond, “since I now know vat to expect, can’t I circumvent zese spiritual laws und find some vay around dem?” “No, I’m afraid not. They are unavoidable. Once sin has been loosed, it cannot be controlled. You will become like a twig being helplessly carried along in a rushing stream. Once you are engulfed in the flow of sin, it is impossible to control it.” With that, the little villain would have begun frantically pacing back and forth, mulling and fretting over what he had heard. This would be my signal that the interview was over. The tortured author of Mein Kampf (“My Struggle”) was now beginning to see, in horrible clarity, that he was a loser in the most important struggle in life—the one against his own sinful nature. Eventually, the German thug came to see for himself that sin always comes with a terrible price. “Yah,” he would whine. “Sin never pays.”
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PURE LIFE MINISTRIES
THE MISNOMER of CO
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“Boy Erased,” a 2018 film that has garnered worldwide acclaim, is the story of a teenage homosexual who is sent to a “conversion camp” to overcome his same sex attractions. Set aside the fact that this film was written and produced from an entirely progay bias. And feel free to dismiss the film’s exaggerated claim that “77,000 people are currently being held in conversion therapy across America.” Still, the basic message of the movie is, in fact, correct: conversion therapy does not work and probably does more harm than good. To understand the issue however requires a brief look at the great debate that began in the early 1980s between activists from the homosexual community and those from the ex-gay movement. The homosexual community staunchly contended (and still does) that God created
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them the way they are, and therefore their behavior cannot be considered sinful. Ex-gay psychologists countered that homosexual desires develop as a direct result of poor parent-child relationships in early childhood. The solution to their same sex attractions is to be found in years of “Christian” psychotherapy. The problem with debates over lightning rod issues is that winning often becomes more important than truth. The fact of the matter is that some people have homosexual leanings from their earliest memory, and to say it isn’t so is just plain dishonest. However, it is also true that many others do not start off their lives with a same-sex attraction; it develops because of external factors along the way. Personally, I reject the “one-size-fitsall” approach both sides employed in that debate. I believe people become involved in
homosexuality through different means. Before political correctness banned such talk in the secular realm of psychology, it was accepted as fact that many young boys became homosexual in large part because they were raised in the stereotypical family where there is a strong mother and a weak or absentee father. The absence of a good male role model seems to create a certain need inside some little boys in their formative years, which may lead them to seek acceptance through sexual activity with men later on. Although it may begin in a misguided attempt to gain approval and/or attention from other males, it quickly becomes intertwined with the adolescent’s budding sex drive. At some point during puberty, the two cravings can become fused into an integrated inner compulsion. The more this burgeoning homosexual lust is entertained and acted
ONVERSION THERAPY BY STEVE GALL AGHER
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upon, the more it becomes ingrained in the young man’s psyche. These thought patterns become even more deeply entrenched as he surrounds himself with other homosexuals. I have also heard from many men who said that they had had no same sex attractions until they were molested as boys. Such experiences can ignite a homosexual lust, which is further inflamed by pornography, fantasy and other similar encounters as they grow older. Likewise, many lesbians developed revulsion to the thought of intimacy with men because of having been molested as children. Then there are those straight men who have told me that viewing pornography led them into bisexual activity. Years of watching men have sex on film ignited a newfound lust inside them for males. Engaging in such encounters was effortless in the easy-sex-culture of the homosexual
community. So this is why I don’t believe the “onesize-fits-all” approach is right. And for homosexual activists to claim that “God made them that way,” is also a dishonest argument. Yes, there are undoubtedly many who felt more inclined toward the same sex from earliest childhood but certainly not all. Did God create them that way? No, God created the human race sinless and perfect. And the account of Creation in the book of Genesis makes it clear that marriage was to be between a man and a woman. It was the introduction of sin in the Garden of Eden that brought forth all sorts of deviant desires. There’s not a person alive who doesn’t have inherent lust for some particular form of sin. The fact that some individuals have a bent toward homosexual sin shouldn’t surprise us.
So… back to the debate over conversion therapy. Ex-gay psychologists claim that, through proper counseling, a person’s same sex desires will be replaced with an attraction for the opposite sex. Gay activists claim that convincing a person to question his or her “self-identity” is emotionally damaging. Again, I must disagree with both of these premises. My answer to proponents of conversion therapy is that a person’s flesh—or fallen nature—will never change. I have said many times that if I ever get to the place where I am no longer walking in the Spirit, I will immediately revert back to my old sin patterns—yes, the very same ones that I have been free from for 35 years. My flesh is still attracted to those things, but what has changed is the Spirit of God living within me, empowering me to live above those desires. CONTINUED ON PAGE 6 >> NO REPRESENTATIONS MADE OF INDIVIDUALS DEPICTED.
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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 >>
As the apostle Paul exhorted: “Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you…” (ROMANS 6:11-14) That perfectly describes my testimony of victory. It’s not that I don’t face temptations; the difference is that I don’t give in to those temptations. As to the gay activists who tell their supporters to maintain their “self-identity,” I would say that the self-life is what the Bible calls the flesh. To identify oneself with any kind of sin is dangerous and unwise. The bottom line is that the need isn’t to be converted from homosexuality to
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heterosexuality; the need is to be converted from a life of habitual sin to a life of godliness. And here is where the misguided use of the word “conversion” comes in. If a person has always had a predisposition toward the same sex, no amount of therapy is going to change that. And I agree with gay activists who claim that teaching people this while hanging over their heads a threat of divine judgment if they don’t “convert,” only causes unnecessary fear, shame and emotional pain. A person’s inherent sexual attraction has no bearing on his eternal destiny. Whether he is disposed toward the opposite sex or same sex does not determine what he will face on Judgment Day. The way he lived his life will be the only thing that matters. Every human being is “born into sin” and therefore must be redeemed through the atoning work of Christ at Calvary.
That redemption only comes about through conversion: not conversion from homosexual tendencies into heterosexual tendencies, but from a life of rebellion to God’s authority into a life of obedience. In spite of what our culture tells us, a person’s sex life is not the most important thing in life. Our time on earth has been granted to us as an opportunity to enter into a loving, saving relationship with God. So, if you find yourself ministering to someone who struggles with same sex attractions, my advice is to share with him or her your own testimony of redemption. God promises to all sincere believers freedom from the power of sin. That freedom does not come through therapy; it comes at the Cross through repentance and faith. The same God who set you free from the power of sin can set anyone free. So, let’s proclaim the power of the Gospel to all who have ears to hear!
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Pastor,
what is theValue to your Congregation of a Transformed Life and a Restored Family? Our 9-month Residential Program is for men who are desperate for freedom and real answers to their sexual addictions. Why is this program is so effective? • • • • • •
The presence of God that brings a man into deep repentance Complete separation from old sources of temptation Regular biblical counseling by men who have overcome sexual sin themselves Structured environment where a sexual addict can learn a life of discipline Local employment covers low-cost weekly fees Two-phase program with emphasis on readjusting to life afterward
We also provide phone counseling options: Overcomers At-Home (OCAH) ~ for men, women, or mature teens At-Home Program for WIVES ~ for hurting wives NO REPRESENTATIONS MADE OF INDIVIDUALS DEPICTED.
PURE LIFE MINISTRIES
I F W E WA N T
C HA NG E IN OUR LIVES
A M E S S AG E B Y T H E L AT E 8
B I L LY G R A HA M
The Bible says that we are to be transformed, we are to be changed. That’s what we need today. Young and old alike, we need to be changed. We need a spiritual change, a moral change.
When I was young, I thought about those questions a lot. Then, when I was 17 years of age, I went to a meeting and heard a preacher talk about God and Jesus Christ and what Christ had done for me on the cross. The preacher said, “All of you who would like to know for sure that your sins are forgiven and that you will go to heaven when you die, I want you to stand up and come forward. If you come to the cross and repent of your sins, you can receive Christ by faith.” That night about 300 people went forward. And I was one of them. That night that I went forward was a changing moment in my life. I didn’t have an emotional experience—I just said, “Yes, Jesus, come into my heart and come into my life.” And He did. From that moment on, I never turned back because that empty place in my life was filled.
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When Jesus comes into our hearts, God asks us to do something. The Bible says, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that [you] present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that [you] may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (ROMANS 12:1-2, KJV) The Bible says that we are to be transformed, we are to be changed. That’s what we need today. Young and old alike, we need to be changed. We need a spiritual change, a moral change. And God calls on all of us to make that change, in total surrender to His Son Jesus Christ. What are the terms that God lays down for us if we want change in our lives, if we want the forgiveness and peace and joy that
we have never known before? God demands our total surrender to Him, and He becomes the Lord and the Ruler of our lives. Now, in life we surrender to things all the time. When we fly in airplanes, we surrender to the pilots and the airplanes. When we have surgery, we put our trust in the doctors that they will do the right things. In Jeremiah we read, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (JEREMIAH 29:11, NIV) That’s what God says. He doesn’t want to condemn us. He wants to bless us and to love us and to say to us, “I will forgive you. I will change your life. When you die, you will go to heaven.” That’s what God says to us if we surrender totally and completely to Him. But we can’t hold anything back. What are we to surrender?
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1. GOD ASKS US TO SURRENDER: OUR MINDS First, we are to surrender our minds to God. That means not only what we think but also how we think. Some people believe that when you come to Christ, you have to leave your mind behind. But the Christian faith is not irrational. Jesus will stand the inspection of any scientist, any mathematician or any other intellectual in the world in answer to any question. Many teachers today ask, “Does it work?” rather than, “Is it true?” And both of these questions must also be asked of the Christian faith: “Does it work?” Yes. “Is it true?” Yes. Our minds are more than computers. Computer programs don’t get stronger the more you use them. That’s not true with our minds. Whatever we see and hear, when it is repeated, it is reinforced in our minds. And whatever is in our minds, whatever we
remember, influences what we do. The Bible says, “As [a person] thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (PROVERBS 23:7, KJV) What do you think in your heart? What are you like deep down inside? The Bible says, “Whatsoever things are true and honest and just and pure, think on these things.” (CF. PHILIPPIANS 4:8) Is that what you think about—good things? Or do you think about things that you know are not right? The Bible says, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” (ISAIAH 26:3, NIV) Get your mind on Christ every day all day because the devil is fighting for your soul. You see, there are two forces at work inside you. One is God, and one is the devil. Don’t let the devil corrupt your mind. The Bible says, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” (PHILIPPIANS 2:5, KJV)
2. GOD ASKS US TO SURRENDER: OUR BODIES Second, we are to surrender our bodies to God. One of the great debates today is over who owns the body. Doctors, lawyers, clergy, judges, juries, all are debating the moral, ethical and legal sides of this issue. And the questions that surround suicide and abortion and euthanasia center on issues of who owns and controls the body. Who controls your body? The Bible says that we are “the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in [us].” (1 CORINTHIANS 3:16, KJV) Your body is God’s Temple, so if you are a Christian, your body belongs to God. Young people today, and older people as well, face a lot of temptations when it comes to sex. God created sex. He made us to be sexual human beings, men and women. Dr. Eugene C. Kennedy wrote in his CONTINUED ON PAGE 12 >>
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PURE LIFE MINISTRIES
GOD ASKS US TO
SURRENDER 12 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9 >>
book “The New Sexuality, Myths, Fables and Hang-ups,” that sex is being used for a whole host of reasons for which it was never intended. And that’s true. There’s no such thing as free sex or free love. The price tag is broken relationships and broken hearts and broken bodies and broken families. From the beginning God planned that the full expression of sex is to be within marriage. The Bible says, “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers... will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 CORINTHIANS 6:9-10, NIV) If you have already made a mistake in that direction, ask God to forgive you and to change you and to give you power to resist temptation. He will do that. The blood of Jesus Christ His Son will cleanse you from all sin. God cleanses away the sin in our lives so that we can start over. That’s the reason Jesus said, “You must be born again.” (JOHN 3:7, NIV) You can start over with a new life. Your heart can be changed. It’s changed through prayer. It’s changed by reading
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the Bible. It’s changed by listening to the Holy Spirit. The Bible says, “He will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment.” (JOHN 16:8, NIV) But conviction is not enough. The Bible also says, “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (ROMANS 10:9, NIV) Christ died for you to give you a new heart, a new direction, a new power. 3. GOD ASKS US TO SURRENDER: OUR WILLS Third, we are to surrender our wills to God. Our wills are powerful. Before Jesus healed or helped anyone, He asked, “Will you...?” And I’m asking you, “Will you let Jesus Christ come into your life and dominate your life and be the Lord of your life?” “Will you?”—that’s the question Jesus asks you. The Scripture says, “Let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.” (REVELATION 22:17, KJV)
When you come to Christ, that’s just the beginning, and now you need to live for Him. That means that the dominant feature of your life will be love—love for people next door to you, love for people who live on your block. Whatever the color of their skin, you love them. You go out of your way to be friends with people of other races. That’s how you love. Have you surrendered yourself unconditionally to Jesus Christ? Have you given Him your mind and your body and your will? You just need to say, “Jesus, I want You to forgive me of my sin. I want You to fill up this empty place in my life. I want You to give me a new direction in my life. I receive You into my heart.” Used by permission of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, P.O. Box 779, Minneapolis, MN 55440-0779. Bible verses marked NIV are taken by permission from The Holy Bible, New International Version, copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society, Colorado Springs, Colorado
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RELATED CONTENT from Purity for Life, the bi-weekly podcast from Pure Life Ministries: 13
JORDAN YOSHIMINE shares how the Lord used the Pure Life Residential Program to help him overcome his addiction to homosexual behaviors:
I Found a New Life After Addiction For the first time in my life, I was presented with the fact that I was indeed a sinner, and it was my responsibility, and I had to do something about that. It's just scriptural. That's what I had to do—I had to repent. … I’d gone to Christian counselors for decades, and because they were integrated and really relied heavily on psychology, I was always able to stay as a victim. In fact, the last counselor I went to for five years really in many ways enabled me to stay in my sin, justify my sin, and remain a victim. And when I got to Pure Life, that victim mentality was pulled out from under me like a rug, and I had to take a hard look at the way I lived my life. … I am now living a life I never thought was possible! I never, never thought that I would be free from the bondage of sexual sin—never. I thought I would be coming to this program at Pure Life to be able to suppress my feelings or maintain purity...and not sleep around. But I thought I would always be dealing with this person who I thought I was...and who the world thought I was. Never in a million years would I have thought I would be completely free from that bondage.
Listen to the full interview at www.purelifeministries.org/new-life
Each Purity for Life episode takes you where real life meets real Christianity as we tackle the tough issues for those struggling with sexual sin.
PURE LIFE MINISTRIES
WOM A N W HO WA S A S I N N E R
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Every human starts out in life with a fallen nature, but those who indulge themselves in open sin at a young age are usually guided there by circumstances. For me, this came in the form of sexual abuse. I was five-years-old when a neighbor boy began molesting me. The belief that I was a “bad girl” was reinforced by the verbal and emotional abuse I routinely received from an angry father. When I was twelve, I accepted Christ as my Savior. In my youthful naivety, I didn’t understand that I needed forgiveness for my sinful nature. I could only see the need to be forgiven for the bad things I had done with that boy. I didn’t understand that I was a victim of molestation—not a willing accomplice. Nevertheless, I did my best to be a “good girl” throughout the rest of my youth. I was very active in church youth activities, particularly choir. Being from an extremely small town, going to church was a social experience for me. I assumed that since I enjoyed going, and rarely missed, I must be living the Christian life. I also resisted opportunities to be involved in
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sinful behavior like smoking, drinking or promiscuity. I was determined to be a “good girl.” I didn’t understand that a person cannot live the Christian life without the abiding presence of Jesus Christ. All my attempts at being good were carried out in my own strength. Moreover, my good intentions were being worn down by the anger of my father. No matter how hard I tried to please him, I was always left with the feeling that I just didn’t measure up. Looking back, I can see that I was hungry for love, validation and affection. As a senior in high school, I finally gave up inside. My boyfriend had been pressuring me to have sex and at last I relented. To my horror, I soon realized that I was pregnant. It just so happened that I was soon to leave for college. I was so terrified of my father’s reaction that I delayed telling my family the news. When I was six months pregnant, I finally came home for a visit. My dad emotionally shut me out. In fact, he would not even talk to me except to tell me to “shut up” when I would cry. His solution to the dilemma was to
B Y C A R M E N PAT E
arrange for me to marry the father. I had not dated the guy since that night; the fact was that I never wanted to see him again. This marriage was doomed to failure from the beginning. But this was 1972 and out-of-wedlock pregnancy still carried a terrible stigma. The child was born and dreams of college and a bright future quickly faded. My little boy was a joy to me but marriage was torment. My husband did not like me, much less love me. Like my father, he too was verbally abusive and controlling. After a second child was born, the abuse worsened and I decided to divorce my husband. This was a distinct turning point for me spiritually because I knew I would be labeled once again by my family and community as a bad person, (and I was) so I figured it didn’t matter how I lived. I convinced myself that I must not have been a Christian after all or I wouldn’t be such a bad person. After months of living a truly shameful life of immorality, I decided to leave the state and start all over. Within months, still desperate for love and acceptance, I moved in with a man who NO REPRESENTATIONS MADE OF INDIVIDUALS DEPICTED.
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provided a sense of financial security and physical affection, but even this relationship lacked real love. He soon left me for another woman. By this time I realized that men would never meet my needs. It was then that I changed my perspective and decided that I would throw myself into building a career. Over the next several years I made it my goal to climb the corporate ladder and make a good life for myself and my kids. Even though I retained a lot of resentment toward men, I continued to give over to promiscuity. My family had long ago rejected me because of my sinful lifestyle, and though I occasionally visited church, the perceived stares and gossip were more than I could bear. One day I discovered that I was pregnant again and chose to have an abortion. Before long, another one followed. I blocked out the guilt of my actions, convincing myself that abortion wouldn’t be legal if it were wrong. By this point, I had become a proud and defiant woman. I didn’t realize it then, but there were many people praying for me during that
time. It seemed that as much as I attempted to steel myself against it, the Holy Spirit continued to convict me of my sinful lifestyle. One night, I was awakened—as though God was in the room. He simply said, “Enough.” I knew He was speaking to me and sobbed uncontrollably. I knew that I was not the woman He had intended me to be. I knew that only the Lord could rescue me from my bondage to sexual sin. In desperation I cried out, “Lord, I don’t want to live like this anymore, please forgive me!” From that night on I became a different person. I could not wait to get back into church. I started reading the Word every day, learning all I could. I was desperate to be different and was in awe of this Savior who could love me after all that I had done. One of the truths that God made real to me came from the words of Jesus just before He went to the Cross: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies it bears much fruit.” He was telling me that anyone who desires to follow Him must die to his or her own life and embrace His. In fact, in the very next FOR INFORMATION
verse He says if we struggle to hold onto life, we will lose it. But if we are willing to let go of our lives in order to experience His, we will find life in the fullest sense of the word. (JOHN 12:24-25)
This is what I now endeavor to do— simply by trusting and abiding in Christ every day. What a glorious adventure it has been! He brought a godly man into my life who is not only my husband but my best friend and spiritual mentor as well. God has graciously restored relationships within my family. He has opened amazing doors of opportunity for me to minister to women across the country and in other parts of the world. My story proves that God uses simple and ordinary people to accomplish His wonderful work. When I lived for myself, I was indeed a very sinful woman. But my testimony today can be summed up in the words about another woman like me: “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love.” (LUKE 7:47 NLT) By God’s grace I intend on spending the rest of my life loving my Savior and the people He brings into my life.
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