Michigan Parent Summer 23

from the publisher Marlanea

It’s just about the end of another school year, and I’m guessing a lot of parents are wondering, “Where did the months go?” Pretty soon the books, backpacks, and such will be put away and weeks of sun, fun, and all those great summer activities will begin.

Take note of our cover article about Sonja Howell’s Tranquil Parenting programs that help parents coping with divorce or other difficult situations learn how to avoid stress and create home dynamics that provide peace and harmony.

We have our regular book feature with suggestions for summer reading enjoyment. Need something to do to stave off the dreaded “I’m bored?” Check out the “Summer Bucket List” with dozens of suggestions!

We hope everyone will have a safe and happy summer. Go out and make some memories, whether it’s a big vacation or something simple like blowing bubbles in the backyard. Summer can be a magical time when bedtimes are more relaxed, backyard fires lead to wonderfully sticky s’mores feasts, and no “school nights” let us snuggle with those young ones to watch the stars.

Marlanea McGraw

by Sonja Howell, Ph.D.

As our community continues to ride the waves after the pandemic, the fire from parents’ tension and high conflict is not yet put out. Research shows we were struggling before isolation and more so afterward. With this growing need for help, Dr. Howell, Tranquil Parenting’s Executive Director, recently completed a study to find what makes a successful parenting program for social change.

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By Sonja Howell, Ph.D.

Local Parents Share How They Achieved Tranquility

As our community continues to ride the waves after the pandemic, the fire from parents’ tension and high conflict is not yet put out. Research shows we were struggling before isolation and more so afterward. With this growing need for help, Dr. Howell, Tranquil Parenting’s Executive Director, recently completed a study to find what makes a successful parenting program for social change. Because there weren’t any standards to follow, it was decided to complete a local study during an annual improvement plan process.

Previous program participants were interviewed. Their responses were appreciated and surprising. The questions related to the program’s instructional design, but parents proudly described their successes. As the

fantastic achievements were interpreted, the following themes evolved. Through this current empirical evidence, society has an effective parenting instruction model created by local parents in our community.

Tranquility in 6 Steps

The resulting Transformative Mindset Instructional Design (TMID) defined six steps for parents to reach tranquility while struggling (Howell, 2022).

1. Select the content you need to build your knowledge. Create an instructional plan and learn more about your specific needs from subject matter experts. Love & Logic and Breakthrough Parenting are Sonja’s go-to when working with parents in probate, divorce/separation, and parents who reach out independently.

2. Expand your intervention methods and change attitudes. Find coping techniques such as trauma-informed expressive arts therapy, learn more about your family’s diversity and equitable factors, and include everyone in the decision-making process. Become more self-aware. Find local groups to attend. Although in some cases judges have ordered not to discuss cases on social media, support groups have been deemed as helpful.

3. Take action to build your skills. Add reconstructive, reunification, or transition activities to your and your family’s calendar. Learn conflict management processes such as mediation, negotiation, peacebuilding, and round table discussions, or create something that works for your needs. Examine your parenting style to become the parent you always wanted to be and create a parenting plan.

4. Make your efforts meaningful. Practice and role-play those interactions in collaborations or projects using the content you have learned with a parenting instructor or family. Understand and forgive each other when the practice does not work as intended. Work with a therapist and ask any authority figures to be kind and patient while you are learning.

5. Create and use assessments that define what works and doesn’t work for yourself and those you love.

6. If the outcome shows you can independently keep a tranquil mindset with NEW traumatic experiences and triggers, you have found tools that fit. If not, begin again at the first step in this process.

Dr. Howell repeatedly reminds parents to review their instructional plans often. Every family grows and alters its plan. You can create solutions to resolve conflict, learn coping tools, and prevent cruelty to children

No one knows better about your family than you. If you do not figure it out, someone may have to choose for you.

What’s Next for Tranquil Parenting?

Additional data from the study pertained to domestic violence, intimate partner abuse, post-relationship, or ex-partner abuse. This data will be reported to the community after being analyzed in the fall of 2023. During this new study, for 540 days beginning January 1, 2023, and ending June 26, 2024, all proceeds will go to research for ex-partner domestic violence in high-conflict court cases. 5-4-0 is an effective sign language technique to alert for immediate help with domestic violence awareness. Tranquil Parenting provides training to survivors of domestic violence with zero fees during this time.

The Process Works

As a critical reminder, Sonja states that all parents have the right to live in tranquility and mentor their children on knowledge, skills, and attitudes they will need as adults, especially as they become increasingly independent. Learning age-appropriate boundaries and independence causes the most struggle in many homes. Acting appropriately and working towards united goals shares how adulting is done and how one may reach their full potential. Any TMID steps alone are worth trying, but following all the steps working together significantly improves your family’s well-being.

Sign Me Up

If you want to practice these steps during a six-week online course with an instructor, parents may self-enroll in the Mastery Skills Parenting Program at www.tranquilparenting. com. DHHS implemented the Rights and Responsibilities Act in 2019. This implementation provides children in foster care or probate court processes and their families with all available services, including instruction. Ask your judge or caseworker if this applies to you. All communications are confidential and not reported to law enforcement, your caseworkers, or the courts.

A certificate of completion is provided to those who pass this rigorous course using advanced rubric evaluations and observed activities. Attendance alone will not satisfy the requirement; lack of participation and improper netiquette will remove you from the class. Actively working on your family’s situation together with your family is the only way to change your struggles. If you cannot complete the process, you may re-enroll in the next session, and there are unlimited attempts to complete the activities. If you are not able to complete the course online, please have your counselor or therapist contact Tranquil Parenting for face-toface options.

Appreciation

Tranquil Parenting appreciates parent volunteers during the study and referrals from community partners, its board members, volunteers, and donors who provided the opportunity for this study to be completed. As a non-profit 501(c)3 organization, tax-deductible donations can be made directly to Tranquil Studio (DBA Tranquil Parenting), through Monroe/Lenawee United Way, or through Lenawee Cares. Additional information may be found on the Tranquil Parenting, Lenawee County, and 211 websites.

Contacts

Parents in immediate need should contact a therapist, a domestic violence shelter, or the authorities. This service is not for emergencies. If you need to understand your rights, please contact your attorney. This service provides awareness of where to find laws but does not provide legal advice. Tranquil Parenting does not provide referrals for support. The program’s point is for parents to make informed and well-thought-out choices for their families and not rely on others.

Mission

Tranquil Parenting is devoted to being an instructional intervention for parents as they transform their styles into what they always wanted them to be. We provide methods of conflict resolution and coping techniques so that parents can prevent cruelty to their children during family transitions using the transformative mindset instructional design (TMID).

Dr. Howell wants to remind everyone that a tranquil home is a blessed home.

10 Habits of an Organized Parent

Feeling overwhelmed is a common problem for parents. What with kids, housework, jobs, spouses, and errands, the to do list can seem never-ending. One way to help prevent being overwhelmed and feel more in control is to be more organized. A few simple changes in your day can save you time, energy, and stress. If you need help keeping it all together, check out these 10 daily habits to be a more organized parent!

1. Make a to-do list.

One of the easiest ways to be more organized is to make a to-do list. This can be as simple as a small notebook or as elaborate as bullet journal. But whatever style you choose, a to-do list is key to being a more organized parent. Write your list out the night before. Spend about 5 minutes each night and sit down to make a list of everything you need to do the next day. Check all the calendars, paper, phone, and family. Then check in with your spouse and kids. Everything you have to do goes on the list. And cross them off as you accomplish each item. It is extremely satisfying, and it ensures you don’t forget things, especially on busy days.

2. Meal Plan

Mealtimes can be stressful for parents if you don’t have a plan. If dinner rolls around and you’re still searching

the pantry or flipping through recipe books to figure out what to make, your evening can start to really unravel. Save yourself the stress by meal planning! Spend a few minutes each week figuring out what you will have for dinner over the next few days. Then buy all the ingredients when you shop. Knowing what you plan to make and that you have everything you need on hand makes evenings more relaxed and your day more organized.

3. Start Dinner Ahead of Time

While you are meal planning, be sure to include some slow cooker or freezer meals in your plans. With many slow cooker meals, you can start dinner in a few minutes in the morning and have it ready to serve at dinner time. Imagine how much better your evenings would be if dinner was ready to eat without a lot of prep time after work. For meals not made in a slow cooker, consider if you can chop vegetables the night before or make the sauce ahead. Any prep work you can get done ahead of time will make your evening less stressful and your day more organized. If you want to be a truly organized parent, consider freezer cooking! With freezer cooking, you can spend an hour or two on the weekend prepping your meals for the entire week. It’s an easy way to save time and money on groceries while making dinner time less hectic.

4. Get Up Before Your Kids

This one can be hard if your kids are early risers, but getting up before your kids makes a big difference in how your day begins. Even 15 minutes can be enough of a head start to get yourself ready before you start worrying about everyone else in your family. If you’re fortunate, you may even have time for a cup of coffee and a little quiet time before your kids are awake.

5. Pack Lunches the Night Before

Mornings are one of the busiest times of day for many parents. Anything you can do to lessen the stress of getting everyone out the door on time is worth it. If you pack lunches for your school-age kids, food or bottles for daycare, or lunch for yourself or a spouse, that can eat up most of your morning! Packing lunches the night before will help you be a more organized parent.

6. Lay Out Clothes the Night Before

Like packing lunches the night before, laying out clothes for the next day can be a real timesaver. Let your kids choose their own and look it over to make sure it’s good for the weather or appropriate in general to avoid any morning arguments or last-minute searches for missing socks, shirts, or shoes. Lay out your own clothes so that when you get up a few minutes before your kids, you can quickly dress and enjoy the quiet time.

7. Schedule Household Chores

If your plan for household chores is usually based on when you have time for them, chances are you struggle not to fall behind. The easiest way to be a more organized parent when it comes to housework is to schedule time for chores. Put routine chores on your calendar and on your to-do list to make sure they get done. And this isn’t just for you. Your kids should have their chores scheduled as well. Give them a day and a time when they will be working on them. Building it into the daily routine can reduce the number of arguments about chores and the number of chores that get forgotten.

8. Schedule in Time for Breaks & Delays

When you create your daily to-do list or schedule, make sure you allow time for things to get off-schedule because they will get off-schedule. If you build some downtime into your schedule, you will feel more relaxed and not like you are constantly running behind when things take longer than expected.

9. Declutter

Clutter causes stress. Just seeing it raises the stress level of many parents. Lost toys, missing shoes, and misplaced keys are often a direct result of too much clutter. Decluttering can take some time upfront but over the long term, it will save you time and stress. Not to mention you’ll love the way your house looks when it isn’t bursting at the seams with too much stuff. Organize your stuff, organize your life.

10. Delegate Without Guilt

We can’t do it all. There are simply not enough hours in the day. One daily habit of organized parents is

Health and nutrition start young

written by Kendra Zieman

Have you noticed that most adults don’t really focus on being healthy until they’re not? I’m not saying it’s too late at that point but I will say it’s a lot easier if you start prioritizing your health before it’s bad. Think about all of your struggles, insecurities and/or health issues you’ve had in your life when it comes to health and fitness. If you’re like most adults, there are probably a few that stand out pretty easily. Don’t set your kids up for these same struggles. We as parents are 100% responsible for teaching and showing our kids a healthy lifestyle. As a busy boy mom who was once overweight and unhealthy, I have a huge passion for health and fitness.

Childhood health and fitness has a fine line and needs to be approached uniquely. Make sure your kids are focusing on being stronger not skinnier, on moving more so they can be more energetic. Teach them about fueling their bodies with proper nutrition, not always about dieting. You don’t want to create body image issues but you want them to be aware of their health and the long term effects their actions make.

If these are topics you aren’t educated on yourself, make it a family effort to learn more. Remember “monkey see, monkey do?” If you wake up 30 minutes earlier to work out, walk, or stretch, your kids will see your efforts and more than likely they will end up interested. Find time during the day when you can spend even 15-20 minutes

being active together. My boys love lifting weights with me or going on trail walks.

When it comes to nutrition, think about adding in healthier foods instead of only removing “bad food.” In our household, we use the balanced lifestyle approach. All foods are allowed and OK in moderation. You must eat proteins and veggies but I will not make you eat something you don’t like. As adults, we don’t eat things we don’t enjoy, so why would we make our children?

But remember, you are leading by example. If you don’t like vegetables and talk about how gross they taste, your kids will probably pick that up and say the same (even if they haven’t tried them). At a young age, my boys learned what protein is and the importance of it. I use this as a gauge to make sure they are fueling their bodies and eating properly. I often tell them they can have a snack or treat but first I want them to eat some real whole foods.

According to Michigan.gov, an estimated 35 percent of Michigan adults were classified as overweight and an additional 32.5 percent were classified as obese. These numbers would probably be significantly lower is we started prioritizing and teaching childhood health and fitness. Obesity doesn’t happen overnight but a heart attack can. Take control of your and your child’s health now. Moving your body daily and eating more unprocessed foods is a great start.

amazing kids

HCCF Scholarship Program

The Hillsdale County Community Foundation’s scholarship program enables donors to assist area students in pursuing their post-secondary plans beyond high school. The Foundation offers scholarships to current high school graduates and non-traditional students, and a majority of the awards require the applicant to be a Hillsdale County resident or attend a Hillsdale County School District.

The HCCF scholarship booklets are available each year in October. Booklets are first available at the annual College Fair and then distributed to the area high schools and can be obtained at the Foundation or in the counselor’s office of each school. Interested applicants can apply for as many scholarships as they wish and for which they are eligible. As each fund has specific criteria defined by the donor, we encourage applicants to read each scholarship’s requirements carefully to confirm one’s eligibility. The completed application must be submitted no later than March 1st of each year to be considered.

Each scholarship fund has its own selection committee as determined by the donor of the fund. HCCF processes the application materials for the committees and waits for a decision. Students are notified of their awards either during Class Night for graduating seniors or the week following the area graduations for all non-traditional students.

Our scholarship awards vary in size and number. Each of our awards is a gift from a member of our community who believes in the power of education. We appreciate their support and involvement in improving the lives of those in Hillsdale County!

Scan the code with your phone for information on how to apply and detailed information with a list of scholarships.

Or visit The Hillsdale County Community Foundation’s website: abouthccf.org/scholarships/

Providing opportunities for everyone to explore , engage in and enjoy history and the arts. Visit us

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517.787.2320 ellasharp.org

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ellasharp.org for more information. A perfect place for field trips and group visits !

Monday – Tuesday: Closed Wednesday – Saturday: 10 am – 5 pm Sunday: 12 pm – 5 pm

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Summer Visitation – Tips for a Stress-Free Visit for Kids, Custodial & Non-Custodial Parents, and Stepparents

Summer Visitation – Tips for a Stress-Free Visit for Kids, Custodial & Non-Custodial Parents, and Stepparents

By Kimberly Blaker

With a summer visitation trip on the horizon, both the kids and adults involved may feel a spectrum of emotions. When kids spend extended time with their non-custodial parent, everyone must shift from their regular daily routines and structures, which can be a difficult adjustment. Other emotional challenges for everyone may also be involved.

Whether it’s the first summer visitation or another of many, each summer brings new changes and potential challenges. If the parents’ separation is recent, the situation may be tense, and the new routine is a big challenge for everyone to adjust to. Even if your family has been doing summer visitations for some time, each year is different. New people may be involved, such as partners, stepparents, stepfamilies, or new half-siblings. One or both households may have moved to a new location or home. People can also change over a year, especially kids, as they grow, and relationships may have shifted.

The best way to ensure a successful, memorable, and fun-filled visit and reduce anxieties for everyone is to work together to plan, prepare, and create a positive environment around the visitation.

Children may feel a multitude of emotions about spending summer visitation with their non-custodial parent. They may feel bad about leaving their other parent behind, not want to spend time away from friends, pets, other siblings or family members, or just miss the familiarity of their primary room and possessions. Kids may also worry about spending time with other people living in the non-custodial home, particularly if kids don’t know those individuals well. Different households also have different rules, routines, and expectations, which may cause conflict or require adjusting to. The following can help reduce kids’ anxieties and provide them a more positive experience.

• Maintain the relationship between kids and the noncustodial parent during physical separations. Stay in touch consistently through text, phone calls, video chats, and shorter visits when possible. That way, everyone feels secure in their connection. Include stepparents and step or half-siblings to build positive relationships

• Involve kids in planning the visit. A visual calendar may be helpful, especially for younger kids. Talk to them about the itinerary and expectations and routines in the other household.

• Try to coordinate with the other parent to keep consistencies where possible to reduce culture shock for the kids.

• Give kids an opportunity to safely voice their feelings about the visit before, during, and after – while helping them see positives in the situation.

• Children will probably experience homesickness. Talk to them about this ahead of time, so they expect it and know it’s normal. Also, make a plan, so they know what to do when they feel homesick. Allow kids to take some comfort items or pictures with them and plan regular calls into the schedule.

Custodial Parents may feel more negative emotions like stress, anxiety, or sadness about their kids leaving for an extended period. As the custodial parent, you may be worried about your kids or not look forward to missing them while they’re gone.

• Recognize your emotions, both positive and negative, and acknowledge them as valid. But try to avoid inflicting negative feelings, like guilt, onto your children.

• Make plans for yourself, so you have things to look forward to and ways to stay busy.

• Take advantage of extra time to focus on your relationship with yourself, friends, partner, or other children.

• Help your kids pack to ensure they have everything they need. Don’t forget essential items like medications, glasses, retainers, and other personal care items.

• Keep a record of important information about your children to share with their other parent. Not just health or medical information, but any other struggles or things going on with the child or their life that would be helpful for the other parent to know.

• Have a copy of the itinerary and contact information so you can reach your ex or children in an emergency.

Non-custodial parents may feel excited and apprehensive about the upcoming visit and worry about everything going smoothly and making sure their kids enjoy their stay.

• Have a special room or space for your kids when they visit and either prepare it for them with some of the things they like or allow them to choose decorations or special sheets to help them feel at home.

• Focus on quality time with your kids over expensive or extravagant gifts or experiences. Those may be exciting at the moment, but strengthening your relationship through connection and undivided attention will make for a lasting bond.

• Find ways to connect with your children and participate in their interests or those that you share to help your kids feel seen, heard, and valued.

• Expect an adjustment period and big emotions from your kids when they arrive. Understand it’s likely not about you, but instead trying to sort out and deal with their own complicated feelings.

• Prepare any other children living in your house, stepchildren, or ones with a new partner, and support them in connecting with your children without forcing it. Try to still make time for them and include them, so they don’t resent the visiting children for taking your attention.

• Ensure you have all the vital information about your children’s health and medical needs in case of an emergency.

Stepparents may be unsure how to prepare for summer visitation with their stepchild and worry it might be difficult if the relationship is new or tense. Your stepkids may see you as an interloper in their relationship with their parent and resent you for that.

• If the relationship is challenging, try not to take it personally. Kids have more difficulty understanding and regulating complicated emotions in family dynamics. They may feel more comfortable taking their frustrations out on you instead of their parents.

• Remember that you chose to be with someone who has children. Find things that you love about your partner in their children and ways to connect with them or their interests.

• Be open to creating a relationship with your stepchildren, but don’t force it. They may take a while to warm up to someone new, especially if they’re jealous of your relationship or time with their parent.

• Suggest opportunities for your partner and their child to have special time to themselves, especially at the beginning of the visit.

When parents have a shared custody arrangement, it’s good for everyone to support children in having positive interactions and building healthy relationships with both parents as well as any stepparents. With a bit of preparation and cooperation, summer visitation can be a special part of creating a stronger bond and helping children thrive.

Kimberly Blaker is a freelance writer. She also owns an online bookshop, Sage Rare & Collectible Books, specializing in out-of-print, scarce, signed, and first editions; fine bindings; ephemera and more at sagerarebooks.com

Allow kids to take some comfort items or pictures with them and plan regular calls into the schedule.

let's read!

written by Melissa McCance

the more that you READ the more things you’ll KNOW the more that you LEARN the more PLACES you’ll go. ` Dr.

Seuss

Reading is a great way to spend time on a lazy summer afternoon. Find a shady spot and settle in with a cool drink and a wonderful book! Although these books are highly rated by parents and educators, you know your children best. We recommend reading (or at least skimming) the books for younger children to see if they’re right for your child. If you aren’t familiar with the books for older readers, online reviews are available to help guide you. For that matter, online reviews from parents for all the books can provide detailed information about their content.

GRADES K-2

Very Good Hats by Emma Straub is a funny and imaginative exploration of what can be a hat. For example, an acorn cap makes an excellent hat for a finger. You and your little ones might start finding hats everywhere you look!

Fire Chief Fran was written by Linda Ashman and introduces children to all the duties of firefighters as well as providing some solid fire safety information. The bright, engaging illustrations add an important element to the story.

GRADES 3-5

Jennifer A. Nielsen’s Iceberg tells the story of Hazel, a young stowaway on the Titanic. She must use all her wits to survive when the mighty ship has its disastrous encounter with an iceberg!

Travis Daventhorpe for the Win! by Wes Molebash is the first in a funny sci-fi/fantasy graphic novel series. Although graphic novels share a similar visual format with comic books, they are longer and tell a complete story. This graphic novel introduces us to Travis: a genius kid who struggles to make friends but discovers he has a major role to fill in the world!

let's read! continued

GRADES 6-8

How to (Almost) Ruin Your Summer, by Taryn Souders. Chloe McCorkle

is determined not to ride her pink “baby bike” to middle school in the fall! She wants to earn money for a new one but is sent to career camp for the summer. OK, so she’ll learn cake decorating and work at a local bakery after she’s home. What actually happens at camp and how Chloe comes through it all makes for very entertaining reading.

GRADES 9-12

96 Miles by J.L. Esplin is a story of survival, strength, and discovery. The Lockwood brothers have been raised in selfreliance by their father who stockpiled food and supplies in their home. But, all of the supplies are stolen during a blackout while their father is gone, and the boys face a 96-mile walk into the desert to get help. Praised for the realistic challenges the boys face, the page-turning excitement, and the brotherly bond that’s portrayed.

Although it’s approaching 60 years since its first publication, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton has remained a relevant and important coming of age book. It’s narrated by Ponyboy, an intelligent and sensitive high school boy from a tough neighborhood who’s being raised by his overburdened eldest brother Darrel because their parents are dead. We meet characters from Ponyboy’s world and from the “other side”—the wealthier, popular kids who look down on him and his world. A powerful exploration of what circumstances can do to us, the book also contains a true thread of beauty and hope.

From private detectives to amateur sleuths, from police procedurals to international spy thrillers, mysteries provide entertaining reading for millions. For mysteries without explicit sex and gore, Agatha Christie—the grande dame of mystery writing—is a great author to try. The Labours of Hercules is a collection of excellent short mysteries that makes a nice introduction to the genre. Her famous detective Hercule Poirot decides to embark on a final set of cases based on the labors of Hercules but using “the little grey cells” instead of muscles to solve the problems.

Expect the unexpected

written by Kendra Zieman

Why does everyone put so much pressure on our kids to be perfect when we are not perfect ourselves? My husband and I are raising three boys who have three extremely different personalities; we have to parent them each differently and our parenting is not always perfect. We learn as we go, just as kids are learning as they grow. Expect the less than perfect moments and learn from them. It’s OK to have flaws, and if you are looking for perfection you will spend your life disappointed.

This time of year, our family spends a lot of time at the baseball field. My husband coaches and two of our three boys play ball, so we are always there watching somebody. During a game a couple of weeks ago, a young boy was up to bat and his parent hollered “wait for the perfect pitch.” My youngest decided to let that dad and everybody else around know that ”nothing is perfect!” As he loudly hollered that back, my first thought was, he’s not wrong. I’m not sure that it was necessary to be announced but this has been one of his many favorite lines recently.

As a mom to three boys, I have been blessed with the ability to work from home, two jobs actually. The other day I was on the phone with a customer and my youngest (again) decided to announce that he needed to poop. I could feel my face turn red as my heart rate was rising and I just wanted to crawl in a hole. The gentleman on the other end of the phone seemed less than impressed. I apologized and explained that I had my little one home with me for the day. At this point there was nothing I could do but finish the conversation and move on (as I’m thinking to myself—nothing is perfect).

Literally the next day, I took a phone call from a customer and the first thing she said when I answered was, “Hi. I want to apologize in advance, I have my twins home

with me and they always seem to say inappropriate things when I’m on the phone.” I told her she’s talking to the right person then and I shared my experience from the day before. We both laughed and knew we were in a “safe space.” Sometimes people just get it and those are my kind of people. Life isn’t perfect.

While raising three boys, you always need to expect the unexpected. We all know there is a right and wrong place for certain things, but, in our house, we preach telling the truth (this is where the no filter comes from) and there’s no wrong time or place for the truth. Even if it includes poop.

If we are raising boys who know the truth is always the best and that nothing in life is going to be perfect, then I think we’re doing a good job. We as a community need to stop focusing on and fantasizing raising perfect kids. Sometimes parenting and/or being a kid is hard, sometimes it’s messy and even stressful. But, if we can raise kids that tell the truth, feel comfortable speaking their minds, and understand there will be flaws and mistakes along the way, we will all be in a better place.

Let them be Aunts!

written by Stephanie Gillispie

As the youngest of four kids, I never got the chance to teach my little brother how to ride a bike or braid my little sister’s hair. I was always the one being told I was too young or not big enough to do what my older sisters were doing. That was until I was fourteen.

I was in Florida on spring break with a friend when my mom called me to let me know my brother’s girlfriend was in labor and I would get to meet my new nephew when I got home. At that moment, I was no longer the baby of the family. I was now an aunt. Something that none of my friends or classmates had experienced yet. Once my brother and sister-in-law went back to work, my mom worked from home and watched the baby during the day, making me the handoff at 3:30 when I got home from school. I didn’t mind this as I soon learned I could cuddle up with him while he was napping and not have to do any chores. No one ever wakes a sleeping baby.

Eighteen years later, I am now blessed with 10 nieces and nephews. Each of my siblings have two or three kids each and my husband’s sister has two kids, the youngest being just three months old. Let me tell you what a joy it has been to watch these little humans learn to walk and talk, throw a ball, and how to push mom’s buttons.

I’ve had the opportunity to teach my nephew to ride a bike only to watch him now at 18 drive a pick-up truck and pop a wheelie with his dirt bike. A few summers ago, my sister flew her seven-year-old son from Alaska to Michigan so that he could spend 10 days enjoying Aunt Steph’s farm. My other sister has three daughters ages eight, seven, and four. These girls will keep you on your toes. The oldest is a spitting image of her mother and the youngest acts a lot like I did when I was young. Being able to see similarities between two generations is both heartwarming and comical. These little moments in life are so special and, as you can imagine, go by quickly.

I’ve learned being an aunt doesn’t guarantee you a spot in a child’s life. You have to work for it. It is not up to the child to invite you to their soccer game or to video call you from the

other side of the country. As the adult, you have to put in the effort to be involved. I’ve also learned if you put in this effort, it can be very rewarding. Nothing is better than having a mini version of yourself come running up to you yelling, “Aunt Steph! Come play with me!”

I am so proud of the parents each of my siblings have become. They are the reason I have such awesome nieces and nephews. When I was younger, I didn’t know the love an aunt can have for a child. I can honestly say I would do anything for these kids. I am honored to be a part of their lives and if there is only one name I went by for the rest of my life, it would be Aunt Steph.

“Only an aunt can hug like a mother, share secrets like a sister, and love like a friend.”

— C a t c h an d re u se r ainwater wit h a p urp o se- b uilt r ain b arrel

— B uy s up p lies t o c o m p o st y o u r ki tc hen waste an d mul c h ya rd c li p ping s f o r

su p er- n utriti o us soil .

a wi d e ra n ge o f pes t co nt rol pr o d u c t s, allowi n g yo u t o kee p o u t u n wa n te d vi s i t o r s wi th o ut ap p lyi ng i n dis c ri m ina t e p e s ticide s B ee h o u ses – B at h ou s e s

F r ui t t rees a nd s hr ub s

W il d flowe r s ee d s

Pere n nial plan t s

Tar g ete d pe s t co nt r o l s ol ut i o n s

10 Michigan Campgrounds for a Weekend Getaway

This summer, escape the hustle and bustle, spend quality time with friends and family, and develop a newfound appreciation for Mother Nature at some of these scenic campgrounds in Michigan.

Tahquamenon Falls State Park

Take in the sights of one of the largest waterfalls east of the Mississippi at Tahquamenon Falls State Park in Paradise. The Upper Falls reach 50 feet high and more than 200 feet wide, making it a must-see attraction. There’s more to explore with 40 miles of hiking trails, 13 inland lakes, and approximately 20,000 acres of natural area.

South Higgins Lake State Park

Head to Roscommon to take a swim in crystal-clear Higgins Lake or grab a metal detector and try your luck searching for hidden treasures along the shoreline. Experience tranquility and observe wildlife while traveling the camp’s nature trail.

Wilderness State Park

Participate in a host of recreational activities including hiking, fishing, and biking across 10,500 acres of campground in Carp Lake. Enjoy 26 miles of beautiful Lake Michigan shoreline and watch amazing sunsets over pristine water. The air is so fresh that breathing here is a kind of luxury.

Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore

Explore these enormous sand dunes along Lake Michigan in Empire by guided tour or wandering on your own. Swim at one of the park’s beaches or take in the sweet smell of maple syrup while hiking through a lush beech-maple forest.

Ludington State Park

Lace-up your hiking boots or grab your bike and hit the park’s 18-mile trail amongst peaceful wildlife. At this beautiful park in Ludington, camp and set sail across picturesque Lake Michigan or soak in the sun along the sandy shoreline of Hamlin Lake.

Porcupine Mountains State Park

Bring a map when traveling in the “Porkies” to help navigate this 60,000-acre state park in Ontonagon. Take your pick from a variety of campsites including modern, rustic, and yurt lodging. Enjoy scenic waterfalls, trek across miles of hiking trails, or feel the sensation of stepping back in time as you explore the ancient Porcupine Mountains.

Huron-Manistee National Forest

Get lost in a forest of jack pine trees and fall in love with miles of sparkling rivers and streams in Manistee. Canoe along the peaceful Pere Marquette River or catch fish from Benton Lake. Take delight in the forest’s remarkable ecological features including dry sand prairie remnants, coastal marshlands, dunes, oak savannahs, fens, bogs, and marshes.

Lakeport State Park

From canoeing to shooting hoops to tossing horseshoes – there’s something for everyone at this campground in Lakeport. Gaze into the unbridled waters of Lake Huron and take comfort in modern amenities offered at one of 250 campsites.

Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore

Behold the beauty which lies in the Central Upper Peninsula at this park’s dramatic, multicolored sandstone cliffs in Munising. Hike alongside wildflowers and ride the waves of Lake Superior in a kayak. For another priceless view of the lake, travel atop the Au Sable Light Station that towers 87 feet above the ground.

Your trip begins at michigan.org.

OVER 100 IDEAS!

SUMMERbucket list

Make Tie-Dye Shirts

Catch Fireflies

Run Through Sprinklers

Play Marco Polo

Homemade Ice Cream

Visit National Monuments

Make Root Beer Floats

Collect Seashells

Go Camping

Bu

Ride a Ferris Wheel

Make Fresh Lemonade

Play On a Slip-N-Slide

Color with Sidewalk Chalk PJ Movie Day

Drive-in Movie Theater Go on a Nature Walk

Have a Water Balloon Fight

Stargaze

Have a Picnic

Bonfire & S'mores

Visit a Water Park

Fly a Kite

Visit a Nursing Home Buy from Ice Cream Truck

Play at the Park with Friends

Blow Bubbles

Eat Watermelon

Read at least 10 Books

Watch Fireworks

Dance in the Rain

Play Frisbee

Watch the Sunset at Beach

Roast Marshmallows

Visit a Farmers Market

Play Hide and Seek

Make Homemade Playdoh

Have a Slumber Party

Finger Paint

Eat a Snow Cone

Make Recycled Crayons

Visit Mom or Dad at Work

Play Dodge Ball

Make Paper Bag Puppets

Go to the Library

Watch a Thunderstorm

Make Story Stones

Play Flashlight Tag

Make Sponge Water Bombs

Make Friendship Bracelets

Make a Blanket Fort

Start a Blessings Jar

Play Tag with Friends

Ride your Bike on a Trail

Watch the Sunrise at Beach Go Minigolfing

Eat Breakfast for Dinner Jump in Puddles

Make Wishes on Dandelions

Visit a Zoo

Have a Pillow Fight

Go Swimming

Eat too many Popsicles

Climb a Tree

Plant Flowers

Help Cook Dinner

Host a Scavenger Hunt

Do a Science Project

Play Messy Twister

Random Act of Kindness

Attend Free Kids Art Class

Learn Origami

Bake Cookies for Neighbor

Make Homemade Slime

Attend Free Kids Workshop

Make a Bird Feeder

Wash the Family Car

Make & Sail Paper Boats

Go to Childrens Museum

Write a Story & Illustrate It

Plant Vegetables

Write a Soldier a Letter

Paint Pet Rocks

Donate to Animal Shelter

Family Game Night

Make Homemade Pizza

Go Bowling

Make Handprint Art

Go Cloud Watching

Have a Water Gun Fight

Play Bingo

Make Suncatchers

Jump on a Trampoline

Go Fishing

Bury a Time Capsule

Drink a Slurpee

Go Rock Hunting

Start a Summer Journal

Play Capture the Flag

Go to Chuck E Cheese

Visit an Aquarium

Go Kayaking

So Many Ways to Paint!

Why pets are the best, and how to show them you care

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you have a special cat or dog in your life (or both… or a whole pack!) and you’re no stranger to the joy they can provide. We were curious about how people across the country show their pets some love, so we surveyed 2000 pet parents about how much their pets mean to them, and how they give that love back! Here’s a summary of what we found.

Pets make life better.

While we didn’t need a survey to tell us that pets can improve our lives, it was great to hear from pet parents just how and why pets can provide this gift. We know how comforting it can be when our cats and dogs greet us at the door when we get home. But have you ever told your pet about a particularly troublesome workday? If so, you’re not alone, as 68% of pet parents said they confide in their pets when they’ve had a bad day. And it turns out that our human family members often just can’t compete with the love and comfort the furry ones provide – six out of ten pet parents reported that they’d rather snuggle up with their pets than with their partners at the end of a long day! Needless to say, pets make us happy, often more than anything else in our lives. Indeed, eight out of ten pet parents said that their pets are their number-one source of joy.

Pets help us grow as people.

Beyond just making us smile or comforting us after

a tough day, our pets help bring out the best in us so we become better people. Just like a child, a pet is a loved one who depends on us completely to stay safe and healthy. Pet parents told us that caring for their pets helped them become more responsible (33%) and more mature (48%). Pets show us unconditional love for a lifetime, and learning to return that can be a truly life-changing experience. Pet parents reported that their pets helped them learn to be patient (45%) and more compassionate (43%). Pets also help support the health of our bodies and our minds! Many pet parents said their pets helped them become more active (40%) and improved their mental health (43%).

Our best friends deserve the best of everything.

It comes as no surprise that nine out of ten pet parents surveyed said they want only the very best for their pets with 78% admitting they have a hard time saying no to their pets. In fact, seven out of ten went so far as to say they believe their cats and dogs live like kings and queens. Now that’s a pampered pet!

Taking your pet’s care to the next level

Our pets do so much for us, it’s no wonder we invest time, energy and sometimes, worry into making sure they have the best of everything. Our surveyed pet parents let us know some of the concerns they have, and the ways they take their love and appreciation to the next level with recommendations for care routines and supplies that every pet parent should try.

A safe place to play

One of the biggest worries any pet parent has is when their pet is at risk of straying into dangerous situations or getting lost. In our survey, 41% of pet parents expressed worry about the possibility of their pets getting lost or running away. Letting your pet enjoy the outdoors doesn’t have to be risky, though! While traditional wood, metal or vinyl fences are still popular options, they also tend to be expensive to purchase, labor-intensive to install, obstructive to your and your pet’s view, and not always reliable, especially if your pet has a habit of climbing or digging. That’s why 17% of pet parents recommended an electronic pet fence as an absolute necessity. With a wireless or in-ground pet fence, your pet gets a clear view of the neighborhood and a secure place to play outside, and you get peace of mind knowing your pet is safe at home.

Better walks

Going for walks is a big one, with 74% taking their pets for a walk every time the pet expresses a desire to go out. But scheduling life around walks and potty breaks is not always possible! That’s why 17% said that a pet door is something that every pet parent needs, giving pets access to the outdoors even on the busiest days. And when you do get the opportunity to stroll together, a no-pull solution like a harness or headcollar can do wonders for making walks less stressful and more enjoyable for you and your best friend. Pet parents agreed, with 13% saying a no-pull solution is a must-have.

Traveling together

Traveling with pets is a popular pastime as well, with 52% taking pets on vacation every time they go. If you’ve ever traveled with a pet, you know it can be challenging if you’re not well prepared. Pet travel gear like seat covers, dog ramps and travel seats ensure that you and your buddy can hit the road safely and comfortably for every trip.

Peace of mind while you’re away

Leaving our pets alone for long periods of time is never fun, and 52% of pet parents said they experience guilt when they’re forced to do so. Whether you have to work late or you’re stuck in traffic, one of the big sources of worry at times like these is making sure your pet doesn’t miss any meals and that they have plenty of fresh water to drink. Pet parents recommended automatic pet feeders (13%) and pet fountains (14%) as two must-haves for all pet parents, ensuring consistent meal routines and healthy hydration, even when you’re away from home. Keeping pets entertained while you’re busy or away is also important, with the average pet owner buying their pet a toy twice a month. Dog toys and cat toys are not just fun, they’re important for a pet’s body and mind, as 76% of pet parents reported that their pet become more energetic after receiving a special treat or toy. And if your best friend is a feline, an automatic litter box takes all the worry out of busy days as its self-cleaning action provides your cat with a clean place to go every time.

Buentello Pest Control

Pittsford, MI 49271

Specializing in the control of flying and crawling insects and rodents.

Serving the tri-state area since 1995

Licensed & Insured

Office - 517-523-3662

Donna - 517-673-7211 | Mike - 517-262-2944

What does CASA mean to you?

I love my CASA volunteers. They love the children they advocate for and dedicate their free time and talents to advocate for their best interests. They ask for no monetary gain. They just do it out of the goodness of their hearts.

– Hon. Judge Michelle A. Bianchi, Hillsdale County Probate Court Judge

As a social worker, I am drawn to opportunities to help others and give back. Children are one of our most precious resources, but sometimes in “systems” children can be invisible when adult issues become overwhelming. CASA provides an advocate and voice for the child in situations where adult issues can be very scary and overwhelming. This voice and “safe” person who is there for the child can make all the di erence for the child."

- Shannan Clevenger, MSHA, LBSW, QIDP, QMHP, CMHP, CASA board member since 2021

CASA means being a friend to a child when their world has been turned upside down.

– Julie White, CASA volunteer since 2019

CASA gives me the opportunity to positively impact children’s lives and make a lasting di erence that matters.

- Jessica Spangler, CASA Volunteer since 2020

Being a CASA volunteer means that you have the opportunity to come alongside a child who is going through a very di cult time. In addition, you are able to advocate for this child communicating to the Court their needs, well-being, and wishes.

-Pat Loper, CASA Volunteer since 2020

I couldn’t be more proud of this program and my volunteers. They are so dedicated to the cause. They put in so much time to make sure that their assigned kids feel heard in court. They also o er community resources to both the bio and foster families and o er much needed consistency to the kids on their case load. This program would be nothing without them!

– Heather Upton, CASA Executive Director

Court Appointed Special Advocates

(CASA) are trained volunteers who work with kids in foster care and advocate for their best interests in court.

For more information contact Heather Upton at 517-425-4145 or email director@hillsdalecasa.org

Change a child’s story. Change a child’s life. Volunteer today.

#changeachildsstory

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R E C I P E S F O R S U M M E R

I N S T R U C T I O N S :

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You will need:

C O O K I E D O U G H

⅔ c u p s ( 2 3 6 g ) a l l - p u r p o s e f l o u r , p r e f e r a b l y

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( W I T H O U T H O L E S ) , L I N E W I T H A R O U N D O F P A R C H M E N T P A P E R A N D B U T T E R

P A R C H M E N T P A P E R .

I N S T R U C T I O N S :

F o r t h e c o o k i e d o u g h c r u s t : I n a m e d i u m m i x i n g b o w l w h i s k t o g e t h e r f l o u r , b a k i n g p o w d e r , b a k i n g s o d a a n d s a l t

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S c r a p e d o w n b o w l

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A d d f l o u r m i x t u r e t h e n b l e n d j u s t u n t i l c o m b i n e d

D r o p b a t t e r o n t o p r e p a r e d p i z z a p a n , t h e n s p r e a d i n t o a n e v e n l a y e r w i t h h a n d s c o a t e d i n n o n - s t i c k c o o k i n g s p r a y

B a k e i n p r e h e a t e d o v e n a b o u t 1 1 - 1 3 m i n u t e s u n t i l j u s t b a k e d t h r o u g h .

R e m o v e f r o m o v e n a n d l e t c o o l c o m p l e t e l y o n a w i r e r a c k

F o r t h e c r e a m c h e e s e t o p p i n g : I n a m i x i n g b o w l u s i n g a n e l e c t r i c h a n d m i x e r ( o r i n t h e b o w l o f a s t a n d m i x e r ) , w h i p c r e a m c h e e s e , 6 T b s p g r a n u l a t e d s u g a r a n d ½ t s p v a n i l l a u n t i l l i g h t a n d f l u f f y

S p r e a d t o p p i n g o v e r c o o l e d c r u s t

F o r t h e f r u i t l a y e r : D e c o r a t e p i z z a w i t h f r u i t a s d e s i r e d .

I n a v e r y s m a l l m i x i n g b o w l , w h i s k t o g e t h e r p r e s e r v e s a n d w a t e r B r u s h m i x t u r e o v e r f r u i t

S e r v e w i t h i n a f e w h o u r s o f p r e p a r i n g f o r b e s t r e s u l t s S t o r e i n r e f r i g e r a t o r

SUMMER FUN

Find the differences between two pictures.

Map and Directions

Study the map above and answer the following questions on a separate sheet of paper:

What building is in between the pet shop and the grocery store?

What building is located in front of the church?

What building is on the left of City Hall?

How many streets should I take before I reach the hospital?

What body of water will you see near the school?

What buildings will I pass on my way back from the café to the school?

If I visit the waterfalls and I want to go to the lake next, what directions should I take?

w AQM THE CttILDQEN

HILLSDALE CASA IS LOSING ITS PRIMARY FUNDING

Due to State budget cuts, we are losing our primary source of funding, but there are many ways that you can help keep our program in the community!

HILLSDALE COUNTY

Providing New Winter Clothing for Local Children in Need

COMMUNITY FOUNDATION

is offering a donor match program! The foundation will match donations made through them, up to $10,000! Donations can be dropped off at the Foundation or mailed to them at P.O. Box 276 Hillsdale, MI 49242. Online gifts can be made at their website https://abouthccf.org/

KROGER COMMUNITY REWARDS

Visit the Kroger website to link your plus card with Hillsdale CASA and a percentage of quarterly sales are donated directly back to us.

AMAZON SMILE

We are a registered charity with Amazon Smile. Select us as your charity of choice and a percentage of sales will be donated back to us.

Community Action Agency in Hillsdale County partners with Hillsdale County Community Foundation, The Beth Ann Blanchard Children’s Memorial Fund, and Walmart to sponsor the “Warm the Children” campaign to buy new, warm winter clothing for Hillsdale County children in need.

Helping Hands Pregnancy Resource Center (HHPRC), formerly known as Alpha Omega Care Center is located at 46 South Howell Street, Hillsdale, MI. Our mission is to empower men and women to make life-affirming decisions about pregnancy and sexuality through Christ-centered compassion, resources, and education. Established in 1987 under the name of “Alpha Omega Women’s Care Center”, we are the only Crisis Pregnancy Care Center in Hillsdale County. We are a non-profit agency; all our services are provided at no cost to our clients and are received through generous donations from individuals, businesses, and churches throughout Hillsdale County.

Material Assistance: Help for parents who choose life. Once a month, parents can come in for diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, and clothing at no cost.

Pregnancy Tests: No cost, lab-quality pregnancy tests are offered at Helping Hands.

QUALIFIED CHARITABLE DISTRIBUTIONS

Talk with your financial advisor or accountant about Qualified Charitable Distributions from your IRA, gifting appreciated assets, and donation of real property.

SERVICES INCLUDE:

DESIGNER PURSE BINGO

How it works: Applications are taken (during the application enrollment period) and families and children are served as donated funds become available. Volunteers then go shopping with families. Children must be 16 and under at time of sign up. Families may participate every other year.

Ultrasounds: Coming soon! Fundraising is complete! We hope to offer this service at no cost in early Autumn, 2021 and provide an amazing opportunity to save babies and affirm life.

Designer Purse Bingo will be held September 25th and we are looking for businesses, organizations, or individuals to sponsor purses. Please contact Heather Upton for more info. 517-425-4145 or casaofhillsdale@gmail.com

Earn While You Learn (EWYL): Moms earn “baby bucks” while learning through parenting classes. A wide array of topics span prenatal care through the toddler years, parenting and step-parenting, life skills, as well as special circumstances such as adoption. “Baby Bucks” can be spent in our Blessing Store on new baby/toddler clothing as well as baby tubs, pack ‘n plays, new cribs and mattresses, high chairs, etc.

100% of all donations are used to purchase warm clothing for the children!

Find us on Facebook at Hillsdale CASA, Inc - Child Advocates #changeachildsstory

Numbers: According to our 2019 records, we saw 419 clients. We provided 5,111 diapers and 4,267 items of clothing. Thirty-nine parents attended parenting classes, 303 clients came to our center for material assistance. Fifty-eight potential parents came in for no-cost pregnancy tests. Helping Hands volunteers logged in 1,846 hours.

Name and Logo Change: “Alpha Omega” has special and significant meaning to many in the Hillsdale County community, so WHY did we change our name? We chose a name that clearly and simply represents our mission and services to those who need our help.

For more information contact CAA in Hillsdale County: — 517-437-3346.

Vitally Important Parent (VIP): Dads are important, too! These classes are just like EWYL, but are focused on the important role fathers play in the lives of their children. “Dad Dollars” are earned and can be spent in the Blessing Store, as well.

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Visit Helping Hands at www.helpinghandsprc.org and follow them at facebook.com/hhprchillsdale

517-612-7293