GET CUFFED

By Danielle Paul

Disclaimer:

I have an awesome boyfriend.

I started dating my boyfriend when I was 16 and four years later, we’re still together. When I graduated high school, everyone around me just assumed we would break up for university. Not only did they assume it, they gave me a million reasons as to why we should.

The loudest pressure I faced from others was the idea that somehow being in a relationship would stop me from having the “real” university experience. What I’ve found is that the “real” university experience is subjective, and can look very different for everyone. There isn’t one “right” or “wrong” way to do your university degree.

I go out to the bars with my friends, I have friends of all genders, I join clubs, I work. The only major difference I feel is when I go out to bars with my friends and they either dance or hook-up with people at the bar. I chose not to, and I’m happy with that.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out on this “real” university experience — rather, I am living my university life in a way that makes me proud and happy. If that isn’t “real” by other people’s standards, that’s okay with me.

I also hear a lot that I will not be my own person if I’m dating someone during some of my most important years of my growth and development.

I actually agree with this one to a certain extent. I think in order to be in a relationship during your university years, it needs to be a certain type of relationship that allows you to grow as your own person.

At university, I do my own thing — I go to class on my own, I make my own food and I have a group of friends that is completely different from my boyfriend’s — and he supports me in all of it.

Never once has my boyfriend “not allowed” me to do certain things. Our relationship is based on a foundation of mutual respect and trust. I know he wants to be with me and I have never been concerned about him cheating or vice-versa. I have never felt obligated to not do something because I am in a relationship.

Being in university I have changed and grown as a person, and I am different than I was in high school. For me, having a boyfriend has never hindered me in doing what I want in my life and growing in my own way.

Instead, he supports me in my endeavours and I get to live my life with him cheering me on — and that’s greatly enhanced my university experience.

I agreed to date my boyfriend when I was 16. He’s been with me for a lot, he’s helped love and support me and showed me how it feels to be treated right in a relationship. We’ve grown together and independently, we both follow our dreams and goals. But most of all, we’re happy together.

While I understand that being in a relationship with someone for all your university years might not be everyone’s cup of tea, I’ve sure enjoyed mine.