A MARRIAGE AS BEAUTIFUL A S Y O U R W E D D I N G D AY
ISSUE #35 : 2017 ISSN 1834-3589
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Photography by The Robertsons
A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Not sure if you're like me, but I've had many amazing conversations in my head … you know, to those people that have caused you some sort of grievance. The thoughts play over and over in your head and you say all sorts of incredible, deep, impactful and life-changing stuff that will surely resonate with this so-called person! I only wish that when I saw them, I was brave enough to say what I needed, and recite my fantastic piece instead of becoming a bumbling mess. The fact remains though, conversations in your head aren't as profound as conversations in person. We need to be having these face-to-face honest and vulnerable chats for both our benefits. In all truthfulness though, that conversation is rather dreaded … I hate conflict—I’m not sure of many who actually embrace it fully. I know some do (and we need people like you) but my bucket of nerves often gets in the way and fear holds me back! I think the root of it all is the fear of rejection. We need to know that people won't love us less for not holding back. More often than not, they want us to be honest with them and share what's on our mind. After all, it's all part of growing closer together and becoming unified. Just to clarify, unity isn't the lack of conflict ... definitely not! Travelling through these difficult waters is all part of the journey! The little disagreement is only a fraction of the bigger picture. Remember that and don't let it become a monster! I recently started avoiding a close family member because I didn't want to have a difficult conversation, to be vulnerable and possibly allow myself to get emotional. Good news! I got through it and we both feel closer for it. Luke even stayed by my side to support me. Hooray! Burden lifted. This beautiful issue is lined with lots of love and care, and you may notice our underlying theme of unity coursing through its pages. Unity with your partner is key to creating a strong and supportive marriage. Don't get stuck in the “bad thoughts” cycle, letting negativity creep into your mind and down to your heart, causing disunity. Miscommunication will bring an array of heartache, most of which can be easily resolved by a simple little chitchat. Protect your union! Don’t let anyone or anything come between you, back each other, get on the same page, share your hearts with each other and spur each other on. Two is most definitely better than one. Enjoy and gather heartfelt inspiration as you read through our pages.
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ISSUE THIRTY FIVE MARCH 2017 publishers luke + carla burrell editor carla burrell
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EDITOR’S LETTER CONTRIBUTORS WHITE LOVES
carla@whitemag.com
deputy editor cassandra holland cassie@whitemag.com
part one
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UNITY EMBRACING
designed by mezzanine.co ryan stuart, mylan chen-ough, carla burrell
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interns anita pickstone, bonnie-lee mooney, jess smith, nicola blatchford, sarah webb
OUR CHOSEN FAMILY KEEPI NG FR I ENDSHI PS ALI VE
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THE FUN SIDE FI NDI NG B LI SS I N THE DAY- TO- DAY
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UNITED WE STAND CELEB R ATI NG THE BEAUTY OF COLLABORATION
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GRACEFUL BEAUTY SHE PER SONI FI ES LOVE + FREEDOM
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MONOCHROME MUSE SHE
marketing + pr + partnerships renee mantle renee@whitemag.com
cover photo white lane studio editorial contributors abbey love, bernie kelsey, chris + sé kipp, emma plant, richard miller, sabrina peters, sharon luecke photographic contributors alex carlyle, alex ry, ashton teriece, dylan and sara, edwina robertson, erich mcvey, I got you babe, james bennett, jennifer sosa, lauren campbell, mark & kara, seaward photography, white lane studio, wilde visual, woodnote photography creative contributors inkling design, laurel and lace, sophie westley, telisa orzelek, trille floral
subscriptions whitemag.com/shop finance accounts@whitemag.com phone +61 02 4915 6511 address 61 parry street newcastle nsw 2300
DIFFERENCES FOR THE SAKE OF MAR R I AGE
DREAMS I N SHADES OF LI GHT
part two
60 68 76 84 92 100
KEIRA + JARED VANESSA + LUKE JESSICA + DUSTIN JESS + MATT KEELY + TIM KARLA + JØRUND
submissions whitemag.com/submissions
part three established by mezzanine.co ABN 31 725 316 171 ~ ISSN 1834-3589. While every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of information in this magazine, no responsibility can be accepted by the publisher for inaccuracy or for submissions by organisations or individuals and/ or printers’ errors. © 2017 white Magazine (Aust). All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is strictly prohibited.
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THIS INTRICATE UNION FACI NG
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THE MEMORY GAME R ELI VE
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THE LEGACY OF HOME WHAT
CHALLENGES I N MAR R I AGE
THOSE CHERI SHED MOMENTS YOU
HOPE TO LEAVE BEHI ND
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SAFE PLACE CONSTR UCTI NG
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THE RELATIONSHIP TALK
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STILL THE ONE I LOVE
A
WELCOMI NG UNI ON
MAR R I AGE’S KEY PR I NCI PLES
INGA CAMPBELL ILLUSTRATOR
SOPHIE WESTLEY BRIDAL STYLIST
SABRINA PETERS WRITER
JAMES BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHER
CHRIS AND SÉ KIPP WRITERS
Inga is the talented creative behind Inkling Design, a company that offers art direction, branding, styling, custom illustrations and invitations. Her illustrations have graced the pages of some of the country’s best known magazines, including Elle, Dolly, Inside Out, Girlfriend and Cosmopolitan (Australia and worldwide).
Sophie runs a style concierge service like no other. With Love Find Co. she revolutionised the way brides find and style their wedding dress, jewellery, veil and accessories through this online bridal destination. And now she has shared her knowledge to help curate white’s fashion shoot, providing more inspiration to brides.
Sabrina is a new generation blogger, speaker and author. She is passionate about relationships and wrote her first book on the subject at just 21. She is currently completing a double degree in psychology and counselling and hopes to become a clinical psychologist specialising in marriage and sexuality. She’s also a wife, and a mum of two.
Based in the Hunter region of New South Wales, James left a career in graphic design to pursue his true passion— photography—and he hasn’t looked back! He has shot weddings in Bali, New Zealand, Georgia, Hawaii and also lots of interstate weddings in Australia. He also has a particular flair for film photography.
In their third year of marriage, Chris and Sé started When We Wed to celebrate the adventure after saying your vows. Coming from two different countries, backgrounds and personalities, the lovely couple wish to convey that you can learn so much from your partner through travel, lifestyle and honest conversation.
ALEX CARLYLE PHOTOGRAPHER
SHARON LUECKE WRITER
CAROLINE + JAYDEN PHOTOGRAPHERS
BERNIE KELSEY WRITER
ABBEY LOVE HAIR + MAKEUP ARTIST
Alex is a photographer with a Diploma in Fine Arts, majoring in Painting and Drawing, as well as a Bachelor of Visual Arts majoring in Photo Media from Sydney College of the Arts. She captures weddings, engagements and lifestyle shoots, and has collaborated with independent publications such as La Souer.
Sharon Luecke is a writer and the founder and creative director of The Bare Bride. As the creative brains, she helps everyday women redefine what it means to be a bride and shifts the focus to what matters most: the heart. Sharon lives the writer’s dream in Maine, lending her talents to white so we can change the wedding culture.
Husband and wife team, Caroline and Jayden, are the talented folks behind Woodnote Photography. Their specialty lies in wedding, lifestyle and travel shoots. They shoot around the world, but are most often found in Milwaukee, Chicago, Los Angeles and Melbourne. This pair also have a particular love of travel and music.
Bernie is a pastor and a leader who travels the globe spreading a message of love to all generations. Nana Bear to five grandkids, mum to three, wife to one for 37 years and spiritual mum to thousands around the world, she has leant her wisdom and experience to white in the hopes of aiding couples in their pursuit of a beautiful marriage.
With an eye for fashion and detail, Abbey enjoys creating soft hair and makeup looks for brides and working within the industry to create inspiring editorials based on traditional photography and modern concepts for styling. Her aim is to achieve a classically feminine allure through hair and makeup styling.
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UNIT Y THE UNIFYING QUALITY OF MARRIAGE IS FOUND IN THE FREEDOM OF EMBRACING EACH OTHER’S DIVERSITIES. Words: Emma Plant | Photography: Woodnote Photography
C
rystallised in retrospect, I can see clearly now how it all unfelled. My marriage is a celebration of diversity
and the chaos that follows when two people unite. It is a nutcracking experience. This is the drive-by version. Somewhere at the start when the hormones were bubbling like champagne, I felt invincible. Deadlines, my IBS, punctuality, existential crises were all by the wayside. I was in the phase I like to call “deadset delirious”. Smitten with my beau. You know the time … messy eating and lactose heavy foods are off the menu for appearance sake. The first touches are overanalysed and super electric. You feel like the only gal in the world. You notice those things about your lover that no-one else could possibly appreciate as much as you (their left ear lobe is 1mm higher than their right and you were born to know this about them). Oh the romance! I’m sure everyone would return to this short-lived season if they could. Unfortunately, it never lasts and for some sadistic reason we quickly move out of this phase towards the next … “edited reality”. Edited reality eschews the romance of the delirious phase and parks itself on a comfortable, yet very good-looking
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UNIT Y
couch. We transition from hormonal to mainly hopeful. If
day, yet you can’t let go of a sense that earth-moving shifts
there was enough good stuff and substance found in the
are taking place. They are! Life will profoundly change.
start of the relationship, this season becomes a dreaming time. If you were like me, you spoke in Mensa smart, emotionally intelligent sentences. Still putting that best foot forward; still making the best impression possible. All those sickies you chucked when you watched Dr Phil come in handy during your first disagreements. Speak in “I feel statements” not accusatory language, Phil would say. The time you skimmed through a teen mag and osmotically soaked up the advice about “being the best you” or “what boys like” is recollected with timely efficiency. Sidenote: sometimes fellas really are thinking nothing. This is a great time in your life. You are still you. I am still me. We dream of what it looks like to be us. You just don’t know that I was lying when I said, “I don’t really get that upset about anything.”
Fast forward to my second year of marriage and for the first time I actually realise I am indeed married. Like the office moron slow to get the memo, I start thinking about what it all means. (I don’t know what I was thinking about before … probably pondering how people lived before cling wrap). Four years in and I am still examining all the same issues I did on my honeymoon. How do we become one? Is it just like those people who look like their pets? Does it just happen? Why do some people seem so connected and others are struggling to come together? Do we really, truly know one another? Are we better together? Am I still me? In my life I have learned to call this time, and it is ongoing, “The Awareness”. The Awareness is when you finally meet yourself honestly and
From edited reality to the next phase my hindsight has termed “Marriagemas”. You are most likely revelling in this time if you are reading this article. Marriagemas is like your very own personal White Christmas, thus the name. It’s the most wonderful time of the year (your life). Parties galore, enjoyable preparation, the hormones play a cameo role again, frivolous spending, families gather, relationships are acknowledged with romantic ruminating and there is a whole lotta white fluffiness. You know it is only going to last but one
~ “UNITY IS DIVERSITY EMBRACED FOR THE PURPOSE OF LOVE.”
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UNIT Y
frankly within the context of your relationship. Much akin to
Sometimes we just need ideas re-introduced in a way that
looking into a magnifying mirror, post hot yoga. You humbly
hasn’t been lost in cliché and repetition.
greet a sweaty, vulnerable, strong and authentic image. It is life altering. I am not one to perpetuate the idea any person is born incomplete, yet I do believe that others better our life. We need each other to fulfil our dreams. We need it in dayto-day life. We need it like oxygen within relationships. One of the things I crave more than anything with my husband is unity. I just want to be unified. The conundrum for me was that it was something I expected without a plan to get there. The idea of unity or “oneness” in marriage has been reduced down to a common idea that we should just agree on everything. So when a disagreement arises, how can we feel anything except separated? If disagreement carries on long enough and deeply enough, Splitsville here we come. It’s a damaging definition. What would happen if we looked at the meaning of unity through a more strategic lens?
Unity is not uniformity. We are all individuals. Freedom is found in getting to be our true selves. I remind myself of this when I disagree with my husband. I want him to be himself. If I say otherwise I am actually taking away his own sense of freedom. Should I ever be made to feel changed, or trapped or not accepted it just wouldn’t work. I want my freedom too. I want a life with my husband and a life to call my own. A marriage specialist who I talked with a few years ago during some moody times helped me shift my preconceived ideas of relationships. I am good with words, I am great with definitions and I can talk underwater if it’s too quiet. So when this meek, Marge Simpson type asked me what the meaning of being “trustworthy” was I rattled off a Webster’s definition: integrity, honesty, confidentiality, etc. It sounds right, right?
“Unity is diversity embraced for the purpose of love,” says relationship expert Danny Silk. The responsibility is then placed upon our actions and not our apathy. I can choose to embrace the differences in my husband and let him grow to be the unabashed and best version of himself. In turn, he can let me be me and encourage me to embrace the things that
~ “TOGETHER WE CAN UNITE IN OUR DIVERSITY TO CREATE SOMETHING BETTER.”
will fulfil my dreams. Together we can unite in our diversity to create something better. It’s like mixing paint—blue and yellow are beautiful separately, but together they make green … a new possibility.
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UNIT Y
Well this wizard of wisdom dropped a missile right in my brain when she said, “Your trustworthiness is actually measured by
~
the value you place on someone else’s life”—if you value
“UNITY IS NOT UNIFORMITY. WE ARE ALL
them you will love them and treat them accordingly.
INDIVIDUALS. FREEDOM IS FOUND IN GETTING
I inherently believe every single person’s life is valuable. So
TO BE OUR TRUE SELVES.”
where did that leave me? If I don’t value someone enough, my actions will make me the untrustworthy one. I cannot speak for others, but I want to be known as a trustworthy person. I also want to be known as a person who embraces diversity. I want to be in a marriage that is united. I want to be a wife who fights for her husband’s freedom. I want to be a person who makes no trade-offs to be in a relationship. I want the next phases of my life to be experienced in full reality with no edits, no crazy hormones (wishful), and no lack of love. I entirely want the same for my husband too. The only way forward is in unity.
O U R C H O S E N F A M I LY
“BE CAREFUL NOT TO DISMISS THE NEED FOR INVESTING IN FRIENDSHIPS THROUGHOUT THE PURSUIT OF YOUR DREAM MARRIAGE.” Words: Sharon Luecke—The Bare Bride | Photography: Jennifer Sosa
I
could’ve sworn I had it all figured out. The core crew of lifelong friends, the dreamy new spouse, the serenely
intimate wedding in the woods. Turns out, somewhere along the way, that strand of magical wholeness got tangled … really tangled. And by the time I got around to attempt the loosening of the knots, there was fraying, there was brokenness, and there was disunity. In the midst of planning my dream wedding and preparing for my dream marriage, I let my friendships fall to the wayside. It wasn’t intentional. But that’s where I went wrong. Nothing was intentional. I wasn’t intentional about reaching out. I wasn’t intentional about communicating where I was at on my journey. I wasn’t intentional about keeping those friendships solid and connected. With an exciting new season of marriage shifting everything around, it’s so easy to focus on all of the shiny new things. Heck, it’s easy to feel like you don’t even have any extra time or energy for other things when there is so much transition
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our chosen family
~ “YOUR MARRIAGE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP YOU’LL EVER HAVE, BUT IT IS NOT, AND CANNOT, BE THE ONLY ONE.”
going on. You’re building a home, a marriage, a new life, and you want to give those things your all. Of course you do. Not to mention, with messages swirling around about how difficult marriage can be and the turbulence that can occur within that first year, of course it’s instinctual to put those blinders on and go into full-time marriage nurturing. However, you have to be careful not to dismiss the need for investing in friendships throughout the pursuit of your dream marriage. You have to be careful not to make the same mistake that I did. I allowed my participation in friendships to slip into autopilot mode, assuming that growth would continue simply because we were friends. As a highly independent introvert, I didn’t think twice about my frequent disengagement or absence. But the point that I painfully missed was that growth within friendship cannot and will not happen without intentional connection. Today, over two years into my marriage, I am still picking up the pieces of fragmented friendships. I am still grieving the loss of people whom I thought would be in my life forever. I’m being gracious with myself as I face moments of loneliness and consequential guilt. I’m also being smarter as I reach out to form new connections, trusting that with new seasons come new opportunities to implement my lessons learned and build connectedness once again. When it comes to friendships, we so often know where we want to end up. We paint pictures in our minds of weekly summer cookouts and yearly road trips and late-night phone calls of solidarity. However, we fail to lay down the individual stepping stones to get there, and then feel defeated and unworthy and victimised when that portrait of friendship never comes to life.
First and foremost, you have to initiate plans. As a newlywed, you might experience moments of radio silence from your friends, most likely because they are also adjusting to this shift in your life and don’t want to bother you. When friends don’t reach out, rather than taking it personally and assuming the worst, initiate! Invite them over for a movie night so that they know they are welcome in your new life. Take them out for ice-cream to say thank you for sticking by your side during this transition. Reach out to them in the same way that you’d want them to reach out to you. Secondly, you must ask difficult questions. Rooted connection requires depth, so dig deep. Ask them how
There are a few things that you must do to take responsibility
they’ve felt throughout your shift into marriage. Inquire about
for investing in connected friendships as a newlywed.
their own fears or concerns. Listen with understanding,
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our chosen family
especially with your single pals. Odds are, they might be
that you are intentionally staying connected at the roots. Pal,
scared of getting left behind as they’ve watched you move
relationships will morph and shift in and out of new seasons.
into a season of life that they aren’t in yet. You’re not the only
That’s life. We see it every year in the life span of flowers. There
one experiencing change. Stay connected through questions.
are annuals, gracing your life with vibrant colour and joy for a
Lastly, be open with where you’re at in this new time of your life. Let your friends know that yeah, you’re married now, but you still highly value your friendships and don’t plan on
period of time. Then there are perennials, coming back with persistence, season after season after season, ready to shift and grow alongside you, no matter the circumstance.
giving any of them up. Then, fill them in on how and where
Relationships matter. All of them. Yes, your marriage is the
some things might be different and ask them for patience
most important relationship you’ll ever have, but it is not, and
and grace as you explore this uncharted territory the best
cannot, be the only one.
that you can.
Now go. Dig deep to stay connected at the roots of your
Tell them if Friday nights are your new designated date
friendships and come what may, you’ll be sure to grow
nights, and let them know if you and your spouse have
together through it all.
agreed to leave phones in the kitchen after 8pm. There is no shame in taking steps and creating boundaries that protect the sacredness of your new marriage, and the right friends will not only understand that, they’ll support it and respect it. You can continue to grow, even if it is in a slightly different direction than some of your closest friends. What matters is
estella-photography.com
THE FUN SIDE
IS THERE BLISS OR BOREDOM IN THE TRENCHES OF MARRIED LIFE? RICHARD MILLER CRAWLS INTO NOMAN’S-LAND AND GIVES US HIS BEST THOUSANDYARD STARE. Words: Richard Miller | Photography: Ashton Teriece
A
lifetime ago, I met a girl. She was very cute and very funny and enjoyed my company as much as I
enjoyed hers. Sure, there were uni assignments to write and lectures to skip and occasional shifts at work to autopilot through, but that left a lot of time for fun together. Movie marathons, meals out, babysitting her nephew (looking after a kid was an enjoyable distraction back then, rather than the endurance test parenting has turned out to be) lazing beside the pool, impromptu road trips: looking back, I see a lot of laughter in those first few years, and not much stress or responsibility. Maybe this is my old age speaking (don’t let anyone fool you, the mid-thirties are the new mid-fifties), but it feels like the last few years have well and truly reversed that ratio. Is that just the way life goes? We get old and tired and
33
the fun side
~ “THERE’S SURELY JOY IN OUR MARRIAGE; MAYBE WE JUST NEED TO GET BETTER AT LOOKING FOR IT.”
cranky, and have less and less time for fun? Less and less
That sounds a bit Carveresque (except with far too much
time for each other? Maybe in the same way that a river
alliteration), or like some weird mash-up between Saving
erodes its banks, the flow of years inevitably cuts an ever
Private Ryan and Revolutionary Road without Tom Hanks’
deeper rut through our lives, leaching away the fun and
gentle gravity or the respite of Leo DiCaprio’s beautiful face.
leaving a build-up of stress, fatigue and responsibilities like
All in all, quite the bleak canvas.
muddy silt below the surface. Our waters become clouded with worries: the mortgage that never shrinks, the career plans that never come to pass, the never-ending housework and bills, the hours spent chained to a desk. Quite frankly, we don’t have time to go to a movie, let alone laze by a pool or embark on an off-the-cuff adventure. And who can afford to eat out all the time? We get caught in the grind (and not the good coffee house kind). We lose our spontaneity, our sense of purpose and adventure, our ability to laugh at ourselves. We even lose sight of the things we love about our spouses and families. Instead of familiarity breeding contentment, it brings contempt. We get bored with our partners, or blind to them entirely. Fun becomes frustration. Bliss becomes banality. That familiar path between us deepens into a muddy trench, and before we realise it, we’re sniping at each other in the dark and digging through each day—no longer building a home but a hole.
Of course, it doesn’t have to be that way. Married life is an exercise in peace-making, not in war-mongering—although sometimes it doesn’t necessarily feel that way. Whether we’ve been hitched five weeks, five years or five decades, I think we can find the fun in our everyday lives and in our most important relationship. There’s surely joy in our marriage; maybe we just need to get better at looking for it. Personality plays a role, of course. Some of us are better at finding the magical in the mundane than others. And in some ways we’re at the mercy of things outside our direct control: financial systems, family demands, health problems, our workmates’ attitudes, and so on. Finding the fun doesn’t mean running away from reality. Probably not a good idea to let the dirty dishes moulder while you tell your wife that you can’t do any chores because you’re determined to have fun this year. I think, as weird as it might sound, the secret to more joy is to add another responsibility to that great pile already in your life. It’s the responsibility to recognise and savour moments of happiness and surprise and contentment as they occur, to actively pursue joy if it seems to be escaping. Especially if you’re someone who gets caught up in the day-to-day stresses and forgets to appreciate the person sharing those stresses with you. Make joy-finding something that you do deliberately, together.
35
the fun side
Don’t snipe at each other over whose turn it might be to
minutes between the kids finally going to sleep and our own
scrub the pots and pans. Crank up the music and dance as
exhausted collapse, to look at each other and say things
you do the dishes together, as you did when you were first
like, “You did really well to stay patient just then” or “Thanks
married and you knew the time spent on the most mundane
for giving the shower a quick scrub yesterday, it looks so
chores was precious if you spent it side by side. Instead of
much better”. It’s not much, but we need to make sure we
wasting your Saturday night arguing over your household
recognise we’re in the trench together, not on opposite sides
budget (again), buy the cheapest bottle of wine you can find,
of the battlefield.
watch a crappy telemovie with the volume down low and make up your own dialogue, just like you used to do when you were uni students living on noodles and toast and laughter.
As I write, the same girl I met a lifetime ago is giggling with our daughter as they hold a bubble wand up to the fan and watch the cats chase and pop the bubbles. Sure, we’ll
I’m not saying it’s a particularly easy thing to do, nor that we
have to mop the detergent off the floor later on, and that’s
should be trying to recreate some blissful (and likely mythical)
no-one’s idea of a particularly good time. But the fun is here,
past. Time marches forward and we march with it. But we
now, in the laughter and the wide-eyed wonder, in these
must keep our eyes open to what we have and celebrate
common fragile orbs and the tiny refracted rainbows they
each other. We must take the time, even if it’s just the three
cast on our walls and floors.
Sydney I Melbourne I Brisbane I Gold Coast I Sunshine Coast I Adelaide I Perth
UNI T E D W E S TA ND
THERE’S NOTHING QUITE LIKE THE ABOUNDING BEAUTY FORGED BY CREATIVE MINDS. Photography: Lauren Campbell | Styling + Florals: Laurel and Lace | Hair + Makeup: Telisa Orzelek | Location: Lanyon Homestead | Model: Sarah Kennewell—Haus Models | Props: Designer OP Shop | Dresses: Lost In Paris, Toby Heart Ginger, ASOS
L
et’s celebrate the unity of creativity; how the simple act of joining forces can culminate in a thing of true beauty.
These creatives knew that together they were stronger, and so they set about orchestrating a shoot that showcased their bountiful talents. We can now relish in the fruits of their combined labour, and while we journey through this shoot, these vendors will also be taking us behind the scenes, sharing with us what connects them to the wedding industry.
39
UNITED WE S TA ND
LAUREN GORDON Florist—Laurel and Lace Flowers that are beautifully unique are what I offer to the wedding industry. I love creating loose, organic arrangements filled with romance and texture. I like to add a little something special such as feather grasses, fruits, branches and berries and lovely long-flowing ribbons. I believe that plants and flowers were always meant to be a big part of my life. As a little girl, I would follow my mum around the garden falling in love with each and every flower that I met. I would wander through the neighbourhood gardens picking flowers to preserve in the beautiful wooden flower press that my dad built for me. I have always felt a strong connection to flowers as they are not only beautiful but meaningful too and I always encourage my brides to include blooms in their wedding that are special to them in some way.
TELISA ORZELEK Makeup Artist + Beauty Therapist I think having a background in beauty as well as makeup helps me understand beauty and skin in so many ways. My style is quite soft, natural and skin-focused, with subtle touches to enhance my clients’ best features. I offer a style of makeup to the wedding industry and to my clients that makes them feel beautiful but also themselves. My passion is what I bring to the wedding industry. I believe having a passion for makeup and creativity in this field is essential, but I also love being a part of the most special day of someone’s life. It is amazing to be able to spend the days with people that are filled with so much love and happiness and surrounded by their closest friends and family. As the saying goes, “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.”
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UNITED WE S TA ND
LAUREN CAMPBELL Photographer
~ “UNITY IS STRENGTH … WHEN THERE IS
Capturing the connection and emotion between two people
TEAMWORK AND COLLABORATION, WONDERFUL
in a beautiful way is my passion. The approach I take is that
THINGS CAN BE ACHIEVED.”—MATTIE STEPANEK
of a quiet observer, unobtrusively documenting and sharing in the events as they happen, letting the day speak for itself to showcase the quiet and joyous moments alike. I’m there for the real connections, the real emotions and all the beautifully intricate details.
real and lasting memories in an evocative, contextual and emotional way. They are the lasting representations of the
Knowing that images matter is what connects me to this
most important day of their lives and they are surrounded by
industry. What I do really matters on a very personal level
everyone they hold dear. And in 50 years’ time they will still
to my couples and their whole family. A photograph is a
have these physical memories of laughter, love, tears and
captured fragment of time, an art form that seeks to portray
even possibly lost loved ones to look back on. That’s a huge responsibility and it’s something I feel honoured to be able to provide for people.
www.georgiejames.com.au
GR ACEFUL BE AUT Y SHE PERSONIFIES LOVE + FREEDOM. Words: Abbey Love | Illustrations: Inkling Design
ETHEREAL REIGN To create this flattering look, start with blow dried hair to add volume and a smooth texture to the hair. Next, use a curling wand in different directions and gently tug on the hair to lengthen the curl as it cools. Take two to three pieces of face framing curls and twist them together, fixing with bobby pins. To complement this look, a classic eye makeup of brown and cream would look wonderful. Lips can be any colour that suits your complexion. A blue-based red or vanilla nude colour are classic hues if you’re not sure which one to pick.
LE CHIGNON This romantic style of a low, gathered, messy bun (chignon) makes for a perfect look. Start with freshly washed hair and blow dry with volume in your favourite parting. Using a straightener, create loose curls all over. Turn head upside down, shake your hair and hairspray lightly. Part hair in two sections split horizontally from the ears. Secure the bottom section in a large, looped bun. For the top section, maintain your parting and roughly pin each big curl onto the bun working from the ear line to the crown. This look would be complemented by curled lashes and a lightness to the eye makeup. Define using a winged eyeliner and add individual lashes if you want to frame your eyes further. Finish with a matte setting powder and natural lip colour to bring the look together but still focusing on the eyes.
45
graceful b eauty
model jutliette bayford | photography by xo fotos | makeup artist shannon hope
multi-award winning australian designer luxe bridal, bridesmaids & evening wear collections celebrating the romantic, unique, boho & modern bride
goddessbynature.com #goddessbynature
@goddessbynature
MONOCHROME MUSE “SHE DREAMS IN SHADES OF LIGHT.”
CREATIVE DIRECTION CARLA BURRELL PHOTOGRAPHY JAMES BENNETT PHOTOGRAPHY jamesbennett.com.au STYLING LOVE FIND CO. lovefind.co HAIR + MAKEUP ABBEY LOVE abbeylove.com.au FLORALS TRILLE FLORAL trillefloral.com MODEL GEMMA COWLING—CHADWICK MODELS chadwickmodels.com SHOOT ASSISTANT EMILY MORRIS LOCATION RECREATIONAL STUDIO recreationalstudio.com
DRESS + VEIL KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenw illisholmes.com RINGS ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com
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monochrome muse
THIS PAGE DRESS MIRA MANDIC miramandic.com.au VEIL KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenwillisholmes.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS MADE WITH LOVE BRIDAL madewithlovebridal.com
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monochrome muse
THIS PAGE DRESS MOIRA HUGHES COUTURE moirahughes.com.au EARRINGS MEADOWLARK meadowlark.com.au OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS MADE WITH LOVE BRIDAL madewithlovebridal.com EARRINGS RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com NECKLACE + RINGS MEADOWLARK meadowlark.com.au
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monochrome muse
THIS PAGE DRESS SUZANNE HARWARD suzanneharward.com EARRINGS + RINGS RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS SUZANNE HARWARD suzanneharward.com EARRINGS RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com RINGS ARISTIDES FINE JEWELS aristidesfinejewels.com
55
monochrome muse
THIS PAGE DRESS UNBRIDALED BY DAN JONES dan-jones.com NECKLACE RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenwillisholmes.com EARRINGS RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com
57
monochrome muse
THIS PAGE DRESS MIRA MANDIC miramandic.com.au EARRINGS + BRACELET RECREATIONAL recreationalstudio.com OPPOSITE PAGE DRESS MOIRA HUGHES COUTURE moirahughes.com.au BELT KAREN WILLIS HOLMES karenwillisholmes.com EARRINGS + RING MEADOWLARK meadowlark.com.au
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monochrome muse
KEIRA + JARED N E W
Z E A L A N D
“THERE IS NOTHING LIKE KNOWING YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR PERSON.” PHOTOGRAPHY White Lane Studio
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keira + jared
DEAR KEIRA I loved everything about our wedding day. We
other. We make such a good team. Even as I
took countless risks and they actually paid
write this I cannot hold back a giant grin from
off. Despite the unbearable chill we felt while
forming. I remember a line I wrote in the letter to
exchanging our vows, and the inescapable cold
you on our wedding day; “Even holding hands
we felt while standing knee-deep in the snow, I
to this day still makes us giddy—I did not think a
cannot help but feel that the whole experience
love like ours was possible.” I think a mountain is
has been vividly etched into our memories. It
the perfect picture of our marriage. A mountain
was unforgettable. I am so thankful that I found
(marriage) will genuinely test both individuals.
you, a partner and best friend that would join me
You cannot get to the peak without preparation,
on these (maybe a little harebrained) adventures.
planning, teamwork and most of all sacrifice.
My hope for us is that we continue to take risks,
But the challenges and the setbacks build trust
we continue to look for the road less travelled,
and character. And the view from the top is well,
and we continue to challenge and support each
remarkable—we’ve been there.
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keira + jared
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keira + jared
DEAR JARED Thank you. Thank you for every moment you have ever created for us. I waited my whole life to meet you and I now live in a world where everything you do is for our future, our hopes and our dreams. I couldn’t wait for the day I would marry you, and now I can’t wait for everything else that follows. My hope is that we find a new love for each other every day. I want to forever be learning more about you, and have you always share your teachings with me. I know we have a love that others have never been shown; my prayer is that our love encourages others to love. I wish for our hearts to remain generous, and our spirits to constantly be growing in wisdom. My dream is that we seek adventure and always find excitement in the mundane. I want us to remain excited by our endless possibilities as man and wife, because together, we can do so much more. I can’t wait for the moment our loving partnership turns into a little family of our own. There is no doubt that even through our inevitable stumbling, watching you be an incredible father will make me love you even more. You have always encouraged me to dream big and now I know we will have endless adventures through this lifetime together. The joy you bring me everyday in our marriage is far more than I could have asked or imagined. Now we have only everything to look forward to.
CEREMONY Country Courtyard—The Barn, Queenstown NZ RECEPTION + CATERING + DRINKS Hilton Queenstown Resort & Spa GOWN Reformation SHOES Nine West GROOM’S SUIT The Black Label Tailoring HAIR CC Hair MAKEUP EVE Makeup Artistry RINGS Robert Paul Jewellery (Bride), Whitakers Jewellers (Groom) CINEMATOGRAPHY La Lune Cinema STATIONERY Honest Paper FLORALS + HIRE + SETUP One Fine Day NZ
SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE
WHTE.CO/ W059 67
keira EXCLUSIVE CON T E N T + jared
VA NESSA + LUKE A U S T R A L I A
“I AM SO OVERCOME WITH GRATITUDE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO WALK THROUGH LIFE WITH.”
PHOTOGRAPHY W ilde V isual
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VA NE SS A + L UK E
VANESSA’S VOWS “Luke, today in front of our closest family
of you and to understand we will have
and friends I vow to continue to love,
imperfections. I commit to cherishing the
respect and support you. I promise that
big milestones and the small moments,
I will be your sunshine when the universe
because collectively they all make up the
seems to be raining on you and to enhance
bigger picture. Thank you for being all that
the saturation when life is at its brightest. I
you are and for always providing a safe
am so overcome with gratitude to not only
place for me in your arms. I adore you for
have found my one true love but to have
the genuine, wild, caring, positive and loving
someone to walk through life with. I vow to
person that you are. Thank you for making
fit the best parts of me with the best parts
me happier than I ever thought possible.�
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VA NE SS A + L UK E
LUKE’S VOWS “Today I marry my best friend, the one I will hold, dream with and love forever. I promise to encourage and inspire you with everything you do. I promise to love you through the good times and through the bad times I can promise you won’t have to face them alone. I promise to continue to make you laugh even if it requires my weird dance moves. I promise to support your inner gangster no matter how dangerous it gets. I promise to pick you up when you are down and to always be your rock. I promise to love you through all our future adventures, creating amazing memories of our life we will share together. I promise to continue calling you babe even when you are old and grey. I promise to not only grow old with you, but to grow with you each and every day. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see my worries, feelings and dreams. I cannot imagine my life without you, you make me so happy and I am a better person when I am with you. I am truly the luckiest red head in the world.”
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VA NE SS A + L UK E
CEREMONY + RECEPTION Secret Garden Byron Bay GOWNS Rue De Seine—Babushka Ballerina (Ceremony), Silk Laundry (Reception) VEIL Babushka Ballerina HAT Lack of Color SHOES Wanted Shoes GROOM’S + GROOMSMEN’S SUITS M.J. Bale BRIDESMAIDS’ DRESSES Spell Designs HAIR + MAKEUP Alana Mevissen JEWELLERY Louise Jean RINGS Louise Jean (Bride), Vice Jewellery (Groom) PLANNING The Wedding Whisperer CINEMATOGRAPHY Wilde Visual STYLING The Palace & Co FLORALS Nesst DRINKS Cactus Club Juicery HIRE + SETUP The Palace & Co, Frank & Joy (wine barrels), Moreton Hire (glassware)
SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE
WHTE.CO/ W059 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
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VA NE SS A + L UK E
JESSICA + DUSTIN U S A
“WHEREVER WE ARE, WHEREVER WE END UP, YOU ARE HOME TO ME.” PHOT OG R APHY E r ic h M c Ve y
77
jessica + dustin
DEAR JESSICA I see us living in a big house with lots of land. I see wild kids running around with long hair, building forts, playing in the mud, learning how to fish, learning how to climb and surf. I see us falling in love with each other over and over again as we grow older. I see us having boisterous dinner parties under the stars with our friends and family. I see us fighting to have more time to spend with each other and with our kids—and I see us winning that fight.
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jessica + dustin
DEAR DUSTIN That future that we talked about in our vows is here. And I’m so proud of the partnership that we nurture each and every day. I think the secret sauce to our marriage is that it’s half love and half mission: keep each other honest, keep each other kind, keep questioning the world around us and what we know to be true. Keep each other young, and defy the usual cynicism that comes with age. Love hard and provide unbounded support—in the face of both failure and success. Protect our magic. With this shared vision for our love and our life, I see so many things for us: a house full of dogs. And endlessly curious children. A little bit of chaos. A lot of love. Records spinning and silly dancing. Late night meals, games, and laughter with our closest friends. Talking about the meaning of life over a bowl of Kevin’s pho. Endless exploration and quiet comfort. I see joy.
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jessica + dustin
CEREMONY + RECEPTION Dustin’s family’s 400-acre horse farm, Lavonia GA PLANNING We T ie the Knots GOWNS Alexandra Grecco (Ceremony), Elizabeth and James (Couple shoot), Fame & Partners (Reception) SHOES Jeffrey Campbell GROOM’S SUIT J.Crew HAIR + MAKEUP Makeup by Liz JEWELLERY Loren Stewart, The General Store, Anine Bing RINGS La Bijouterie FLORALS Amy Osaba Design CATERING LRG Provisions HIRE + SETUP Goodwin Events
SEE MORE ONLINE
WHTE.CO/ W059 EXCLUSIVE CONTENT
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jessica + dustin
JESS + MAT T I C E L A N D
“OUR LOVE IS UNIQUE—IT CAN NEVER BE REPLICATED.” PHOTOGRAPHY Dylan and Sara
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jess + matt
THE PROPOSAL Matt, with the help of a past bride of mine,
finally put it on my finger. It’s a gorgeous
tricked me into believing I was heading to
rough cut emerald in unplated (non-
a maternity shoot in downtown Toronto at a
chemically treated) white gold. Because it’s
beautiful industrial venue. When I arrived,
unplated, it actually appears more like a very
in this huge old building, there was no-one
dull yellow gold which I love. He knew I wasn’t
else around except Matt. I was so confused
into jewellery and more specifically never
and didn’t realise what was happening until
dreamed of owning a diamond, so together
I walked closer and he got down on one
with a jeweller in British Columbia, he sourced
knee. Little did I know that he had enlisted
the stone from Afghanistan and created the
the help of some fellow photographers
design. When I look at it, the rough edges
to capture the entire thing for us. It was
form two peaks, like mountains. It reminds
amazing! We were both crying and hugging
me of our adventures together and how our
and I hadn’t even noticed the ring until he
love is unique—it can never be replicated.
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JESS + M AT T
AS A COUPLE ‌ We love exploring new places and spending summer weekends camping but we also love our home and the people we fill it with. Being wedding photographers ourselves (Daring Wanderer) we often find ourselves in beautiful locations photographing weddings and we try to make an effort to learn about the culture, experience the food and find beautiful interiors. We live in Ontario, Canada and there is no shortage of gorgeous locations here! When we aren’t travelling for weddings, we are often planning back country camping trips or entertaining backyard pool parties at home with friends and family. Beyond our love for each other, we adore our family and close friends and make an effort to be around them as much as possible.
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JESS + M AT T
CEREMONY + RECEPTION Burroughes Building, Toronto ON GOWNS altered Dessy Bridesmaid Dress SHOES BDG—Urban Outfitters GROOM’S SUIT Topman HAIR BlushPretty
SEE MORE ONLINE
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JESS + M AT T
K E E LY + TIM G R E E C E
“WE PUSH EACH OTHER TO BE BETTER VERSIONS OF OURSELVES.” PHOT OG R APHY E dwin a Robe r tson
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keely + tim
THE PROPOSAL We had a public holiday long weekend,
were going on a picnic. As we went down
so Tim told me he would organise a local
to the water there was a boat waiting for
getaway. I began to get suspicious the days
us. Fifteen minutes into our journey out on
leading up to our weekend away as Tim told
the water, the boat suddenly stopped. The
me to pack light. We jumped into the Uber
staff jumped out of the boat and began
the first morning of our holiday and Tim
unloading several items onto a sandbar, and
advised the driver we would be heading to
before I knew it we had a gorgeous picnic
the international airport ‌ what?! It wasn’t
area set up in the middle of the ocean. After
until we arrived at check-in that I discovered
set up, the staff quickly jumped back in their
Tim had planned a mini getaway to Fiji!
boat and headed back to our island. It all
We arrived at Royal Davui in the afternoon
happened so quickly, I had no idea anyone
and it was like heaven on earth. We spent
could even have a picnic on a sandbar!
our time lazying around a private beach,
Then in complete privacy Tim bent down
chilling in our plunge pool, snorkelling and
on one knee and asked me to marry him.
kayaking. On the third day I was told we
It was one of the best days of my entire life.
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keely + tim
AS A COUPLE ‌ Tim and I have very different personalities,
So he slows me down and makes me think
but we share very similar views on life and
about things first and I push him to make
we have the same goals for our future
changes and to take some risks. We share
together. I think that’s why we work so
a deep love of good food, delicious wine
well. Our personalities really challenge each
and exploring the world. We have a strong
other and we push each other to be better
love and respect for our friends and families.
versions of ourselves and to keep growing.
We look to both sides of our families as a
He is patient and thinks things through
shining example of where we hope to be in
meticulously and I am like a bull at a gate.
30 years’ time.
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keely + tim
CEREMONY Agios Ioannis Detis Church, Paros Island, Greece RECEPTION Taver na Kolymbithres GOWN Inbal Dror SHOES Valentino GROOM’S SUIT The Cloakroom HAIR Dimitris Hair MAKEUP Lush Tan Beauty JEWELLERY Molten Store RINGS Canturi CINEMATOGRAPHY Soft Focus Project STATIONERY Anna Butters Designs FLORALS Sakura Flower Shop
SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE
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keely + tim
KARLA + JØRUND N O R W A Y
“I LOVE YOU MORE EACH DAY AND I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS BE HAPPY.” PHOTOGRAPHY I Got You Babe
101
K ARL A + JØRUND
“ON LOVE”—KAHLIL GIBRAN (RECITED BY KARLA + JØRUND) Jørund’s verse:
For even as love crowns you so shall he
“When love beckons to you, follow him,
crucify you.
Though his ways are hard and steep,
Even as he is for your growth so is he for
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
your pruning.
Though the sword hidden among his
Even as he ascends to your height and
pinions may wound you.
caresses your tenderest branches that
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
quiver in the sun,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
So shall he descend to your roots and
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
shake them in their clinging to the earth.”
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K ARL A + JØRUND
Karla’s verse: “Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night, To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”
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K ARL A + JØRUND
CEREMONY + RECEPTION + CATERING Bårdshaug Herregård, Orkanger, Norway GOWN Vered Vaknin SHOES Ted Baker GROOM’S SUIT J. Lindeberg HAIR Klipperiet Orkanger JEWELLERY Carré Jewellery Studio RINGS Gifteringen.no STATIONERY Blanka Biernat FLORALS Orkdal Blomster AS
SEE THE FULL WEDDING ONLINE
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K ARL A + JØRUND
BUSINESS FE ATURE
ANCHORED CINEMA LOVE IN MOTION.
It’s the seamless transition between
nerves here and there and perfecting all of the
surfing and skating to live bands and shows. I
capturing your love and ensuring that
fine details: hair, makeup, ties and creases.
was asked to film my eldest brothers wedding
not an intricate detail is left unnoticed.
Then, by the end of the night, our last few
when I was 18 and from then I knew it was
It’s making sure that the moments that seem
frames are full of chaos, excitement and
what I wanted to pursue as my career. I was
to slip by so quickly be forever relived and
celebration! We see the barefoot dancing, the
completely drawn to the idea of capturing
relished in for the decades to come. It is with
lipstick kissed cheeks and the undone ties.
these moments that could be relived again and
this notion, an ever-growing skill set and
But piecing it all together is the real beauty—
again. I went on to study a Bachelor of Film
an exploding passion for telling the story of
we get to really feel the atmosphere and see
Production and afterwards to meet such an
love, that James Connell created Anchored
the surroundings of the beautiful people and
amazing network of people. It really is such an
Cinema—a unique team of cinematographers
amazing places we get to visit.
inspiring industry to be in.
Why Anchored Cinema? We like to give off
What are your dreams for Anchored
a vibe that encourages a bit of personality and
Cinema? We want to just really hone down
cheek. It’s one of the most memorable days
and perfect our craft, continuing to grow
What it is about weddings that you love to
of your life and we like to be there to capture
and evolve our skills everyday. We dream
capture? It allows us to be really creative and
the raw laughter, the true character and your
of travelling the world to exotic cities and
get deep down to the core of their relationship;
real love. We are the kind that run and get
untouched shores, capturing love in vastly
we get to tell the story of the day from the way
you a beer, fill up your champagne, hold your
different settings and cultures, allowing us
it feels. There is no structure to the way we edit
umbrella and tie your tie.
to immerse ourselves into the most amazing
located all around Australia with a vision to ensure that your day is captured reflecting your unique love in its purest form.
our wedding films, we simply capture it as it happens and convey their meaning of happiness.
Heck, there was a time when the groom couldn’t work out his bow tie and no-one
Tell us about your style. We love to film
there knew how! We quickly drove to the
with a style to suit each day but in a few
next town, bought a clip-on and saved the
words I would say: candid, energetic, creative,
day! It’s the little things that separate us from
personal and optimistic! We are the ones
the rest—we become a transparent wedding
reassuring you that it is not going to rain,
guest, immersing ourselves in the atmosphere
even when the forecast says otherwise!
but capturing the most intimate of moments
What is your favourite part of the day to
situations and filming places in ways that haven’t been seen before. We just want to create and tell stories through film that are as unique as your love.
without feeling too close.
play back? Every moment is so sentimental—
What got you into cinematography? I
to watch the transition is always so amazing.
was around 14 and bought myself a mini
@anchoredcinema
The morning is filled with anticipation, a few
Handycam. I filmed everything I could, from
anchoredcinema.com
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T HIS IN T R IC AT E UNION
CHRIS + SÉ SHARE HOW INTENTIONALITY AND RESPECT ARE KEY TO BRAVING CHALLENGES IN MARRIAGE. Words: Chris + Sé Kipp—When We Wed | Photography: Alex Ry
O
ur union, like most others, was instituted through an exchange of vows, rings, and a hurrah down the aisle.
Despite the pouring rain at our outdoor garden wedding and having to cancel our reception cruise due to thunderstorms, we couldn’t have been more thrilled to be each other’s life partner for all the days to come. It was the day we tied the knot, but we truly had no idea how this commitment would refine us both. Our backgrounds, upbringings, and experiences couldn’t be more different, and learning to embrace those differences has shaped our intricate and complex marriage. There has definitely been times of hardship, but also times of immense joy. We’ve had a lot of changing seasons in our marriage, and we love when we get to have honest conversations with other couples about them. How did you meet? We met in college, through mutual friends, although we didn’t become close right away. We spent a lot of time being intimidated by each other when in reality, we were intrigued by one another. We were in the same program, same internship, and worked at the same place—we were bound to have interaction whether we wanted to or not. Looking back, we’re thankful for that season when our paths crossed so much. It began our strong admiration for one another.
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What do you feel makes up a good husband or wife?
We don’t have children right now, but when we sit around the
A good spouse is tough to define because we don’t see this
dinner table among friends that are cultivating their marriage
role fitting in a box or some sort of mould. We believe that
with the experience of raising children, it blows us away.
to be a good partner, it will look different depending on the
We’re also really inspired by couples that show intentionality
other partner’s values, desires, and personality. Of course,
in their relationship.
there are commonalities like being a strong support and making sure that the words exchanged during vows are upheld with the same level of commitment through thick and thin, but what makes each relationship so unique is how you learn to be a good husband or wife. When we first got married, we didn’t fully understand each other’s needs or even ways to communicate care in a way that the other could interpret it as such. Through the last three-and-a-half years, we’ve committed to learning what it means to honour, protect, and cherish all the complexities of each other.
What do you think the purpose of marriage is? Companionship at the utmost vulnerable level. While that may seem very simple, you could write volumes of books on that sentence. Have you faced challenges in your marriage so far? Only 468,156, 204 in our three plus years! *estimated count, may not be accurate. Like any couple that is as different from one another as we are, it’s unavoidable. We’ve learned that challenges aren’t a bad thing, and having that perspective really changes the way you approach them. We’re not as quick to understand, forgive, and move forward as we would
Have you had any marriage role models? We really
like to be in our ideal world. We don’t have an ideal marriage,
admire our friends that have children or are foster parents.
we have a real marriage, and we would argue that the latter
~ “THE CHALLENGES WE’VE FACED HAVE BEEN CRUCIAL TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, AND WE ALWAYS FIND OURSELVES CLOSER IN THE END.”
is better (and wonderfully messier). We are very human and when we face challenges (big or small), it often takes multiple conversations, willingness to put our pride aside, and putting our focus on the question of “What is best for us?” instead of “What is best or most comfortable for me?” The challenges we’ve faced have been crucial to the development of our relationship, and we always find ourselves closer in the end. Have there been times when you wanted to run away? When things get tough (and they do get tough), it has crossed both of our minds. The most vulnerable thing to do in that moment is to be completely honest and share your thought process, and that in itself has been one of the greatest gifts in our relationship. We’ve talked through these thoughts, and it’s been one of the greatest gifts to have that level of honesty in our relationship. How do you make each other feel safe? It seems simple and can probably translate to any type of relationship, but we listen to each other. When processing emotions or thoughts aloud, we hear what the other person is saying. We try not to fix or console too quickly, but to give the other person the room to be as vulnerable as they want to be.
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What do you think you need to remember each day that will help your marriage? It’s all too easy to take for granted
~ “THE SIMPLE, HUMBLE, AND INTENTIONAL ACTS IN A RELATIONSHIP CAN BE THE MOST MEANINGFUL.”
that you are living with the love of your life. The human you overwhelmingly adore, so much so that you committed yourself in a lifelong relationship with them. What a privilege. We need to remember that that’s the person we’re coming home to each day. They deserve the very best of us, not the leftovers or all the pent up tension from that meeting at work that went south. A job, situation, dilemma, they are all temporary in the scheme of things. Your spouse, they’re a part of your core, forever. What would you say the secret is to a lifelong union? Ask us in 60 years! (Just kidding) If we had to answer that now, we would say the secret is intentionality. From conversations with couples that have been committed for many decades, it seems that the simple, humble, and intentional acts in a relationship can be the most meaningful.
Photo: Holdtight Photographic Services
A D AY T O R E M E M B E R WITH A VIEW YO U ’ L L N E V E R F O R G E T.
02 4984 0350
I
WEDDINGS@ANCHORAGEPORTSTEPHENS.COM.AU
ANCHORAGEPORTSTEPHENS.COM.AU
THE MEMORY GAME WIND BACK THE CLOCK, AND RELIVE THOSE CHERISHED MOMENTS THAT LED YOU TOWARDS MARRIAGE. Photography: Alex Ry
YOUR FIRST KISS.
YOUR FIRST DATE.
WHEN YOU FIRST SAID “I LOVE YOU”.
WHEN YOU KNEW YOUR PARTNER WAS THE ONE FOR YOU.
PH OTOG R A PH Y
W W W. A M E L I A C L A I R E P H O T O . C O M
THE LEGACY OF HOME
LOOK AT YOUR MARRIAGE THROUGH THE LENS OF GENERATIONS TO COME—WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO LEAVE THEM WITH? Words: Bernie Kelsey | Photography: Alex Carlyle
I
t was the hottest day of December in 1979, the day our lives were joined for nothing less than forever. That was
our commitment, and it remains our commitment today. As we drove away from our wedding reception, jaws sore from all the smiling, our hearts were filled with joy and expectation of delightful adventures ahead. Our very first adventure together was a camping honeymoon! We still reminisce about the time we nailed all the tent pegs into the ground and hoisted the tent up toward the sky. A bucketload of confetti suddenly burst out from our tent and thousands upon thousands of bright paper droplets carried along by a nor’easter showered the campground. Mark’s buddies had left us a colourful surprise, and for the next week we were nicknamed the “confetti kids” by the bemused yet understanding camp site owners. That was thirty-seven years ago … Now, the years have passed and the confetti has settled. Three children born and now grown into adults, all married with children of their own. Our five (almost six!) grandchildren call me “Nana Bear”. Meanwhile, Mark goes by a gorgeous
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imitation of Pop, “Bop”, born from the lips of our first grandchild
is the fight for our marriages and the fight for our families. I
and carried on by the rest.
am a fighter, and I am grateful to know what it looks like to
I don’t recall as a girl of nineteen years old really ever contemplating what it means to carry a legacy. My nana taught
enjoy the rewards of the battle. Every couple will face troubles of some kind, things that test you to the very core of your being.
me to knit and that for me was a special moment, now a sacred
I remember one such season of our life together. We moved
memory of a connection that lives on in my heart. So, perhaps
to New York and lived there for nine years. The early days
I knew just a little. There is an obvious tangible meaning of
were incredibly hard; raising three small children aged seven,
“legacy”, accounted for empirically, like the amount of money
five and two, sparse finances, and the container with all our
or property left to someone in a will. But what of the intangible
earthly belongings didn’t arrive when we did, forcing us to
inheritance? What of beauty, love, generosity, friendship and
sleep on the floor of our newly rented house.
blessing? Of leadership and servanthood?
The kids couldn’t start school as our paperwork verifying
Legacy (for me) begins with a dream, a vision to journey
their immunisations was still sitting on the Australian docks.
together, “till death do us part”. That’s the one big thing I’ve
There was no extended family around us and no friendship
carried closest to my heart—to dream together and keep
network to speak of (we did meet one lovely family, which we
dreaming together, through every season. It means that
were grateful for). It was the late 80s, so there were no
we each look to a common horizon, walking hand-in-hand
mobile phones, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter—no computers
towards the same direction.
at all! We did have a landline but the cost of phoning home
I have always found that together we are better, even as the dream is contested along the way. Challenges, difficulties
was seven dollars a minute, so that was only to be used in case of emergency. Suffice to say it was a very lonely time.
and opposition arise that require tenacity, a fighting spirit and
I took myself off for a walk one day feeling incredibly
a dedication to hold fast to the dream. Many will fight in their
overwhelmed by our situation. It was a bright, sunny, clear
marriages, but the most constructive fight we can engage in
blue sky kind of day, but it felt so terribly dark to me. I doubted
~ “I BELIEVE WE ARE HERE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. THAT BETTERMENT STARTS IN OUR HOMES.”
whether or not I had the “stuff” to travel through this wildernesslike experience. Spoiler alert: I gradually came to discover that I did! In fact, I discovered that I was built for the stretch. Looking back on those days I thank God for them, for there is beauty to be found in every wilderness. To find that your faith and hope is alive and strong despite your circumstance, that your bond of love and friendship with your man is real and sure, and to know that this little family can and will flourish regardless of external conditions is both humbling and heartening. A form of legacy in motion. The fight is … well, a fight! But the reward of staying the course? Well, it is truly stunning. It’s seeing our children and grandchildren growing strong and able to face the road ahead of them with confidence and courage. They have a history that encourages them to raise a generation that will make a difference in this world. I believe we are here to make the world a better place. That betterment starts in our homes. Many years ago I read a quote from a book called Dream Home by Mark Wakely that I’ve treasured ever since: “… houses become homes only when we take up residence in them, christen them with love and memories, make them the centre of our world … at the end of the working day we go home, we don’t go house … for a house to become a home, I think you need to feel positive about the place: secure, rooted, comfortable (at home not at house) and able to express yourself within its walls.” The home for us has always been the canvas upon which we have laid down the colours, tones and hues of family life. Within the walls of our home we, with all the love and creativity we could muster, created a
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beautiful, peaceful space for our children to find acceptance, affection and attention. We wanted home to hold the number one position in each of our hearts. We understood early on that we all needed our emotional tanks filled on a regular basis,
~
and that home was the filling station. It was hard work, and it
“THE GREATEST GIFT WE COULD GIVE TO OUR
was daily work, done in the midst of busy lives often flooded
KIDS WAS A LOVING, RESPECTFUL, KIND AND
with pressure. However, it’s in the details of this work that a
STRONG MARRIAGE.”
secure foundation is erected for future generations to come. Early on, Mark and I gained a piece of wisdom that resonated with us both, that the greatest gift we could give to our kids
enjoy the differences again. In other words you quit trying to
was a loving, respectful, kind and strong marriage. Our
change each other and instead there is acceptance. There
togetherness was their greatest gift.
is an erroneous thought surrounding marriage, that if one
The beginning is a coming together and then the staying together is a progression which involves lots of conversations and lots of working things out. Mark has a little motto of sorts regarding marriage: “Opposites attract, then they attack, and then they attach.” It’s in the times of attack, those little things
gives half and the other gives half then they will have a whole union. The reality is different—a successful marriage is the coming together of two whole people giving 100 per cent of themselves, laying down selfish ways to serve and give their all to their husband or wife.
that get on your nerves and those bigger things that pose
Legacy is sparked by the daily investment into each other. It
challenges to your dreams of “forever”, where legacy is truly
is doing away with unrealistic expectations of one another,
forged. If you can work through this somewhat tumultuous
believing in each other, and being the very best we can be for
time, what follows is a truly beautiful time of attaching and
each other. It’s about loving, laughing and dancing our way
bonding together where you get to celebrate and even
into a future of adventures together. And it’s recognised once you have the perspective to look back and gasp with joy at the legacy you’ve woven over several years of doing the little things well.
SAFE PL ACE
“THE INTENTION OF MARRIAGE IS TO CREATE A SPACE WHERE TWO PEOPLE CAN BE COMPLETELY VULNERABLE, YET TOTALLY SECURE.” Words: Sabrina Peters | Photography: Seaward Photography
T
here’s no place where you should feel safer than in your own marriage and no person you should feel more
comfortable with than your own spouse, after all, you sleep in the same bed and reveal more of who you really are to them than anybody else. The intention of marriage is to create a space where two people can be completely vulnerable, yet totally secure. Unfortunately for many, (including myself at times) marriage has been more like a war zone, than a sanctuary. It has felt more like a battlefield of “I’m right and you’re wrong” and turned into a tug of war of the wills creating a reservoir of disappointment and frustration. That’s because marriage doesn’t automatically become your “safe place”—you have to build it, mould it and shape it, together (Keyword: “together”). Sydney J. Harris summarises it well. “Almost no-one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.” I don’t know about you, but I really want to be successful in this thing called matrimony. I don’t want to be another
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statistic. I want to raise my kids in a home where their parents love and respect each other. A home that is safe, emotionally and physically. I am a child of divorce and it was a brutal road to walk (and sometimes still is). A month before I got married my parents separated. At my wedding they sat at the same table and pretended they were strangers. It was yucky. It’s been nearly a decade and it hasn’t got much better. Divorce sucks. There are no winners. My heart goes out to anyone impacted by it.
~ “THAT’S BECAUSE MARRIAGE DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY BECOME YOUR “SAFE PLACE”—YOU HAVE TO BUILD IT, MOULD IT AND SHAPE IT, TOGETHER.”
It is so vital that husbands and wives are emotionally connected. Both spouses should be able to express affection and admiration regularly, and this is something Ben and I fight for to keep our union strong. There’s a little thing that my husband likes to do—he writes love notes on our mirrors with a marker. I remember this one time he wrote a cute (and a little bit raunchy) note on our bathroom mirror before he went to work one day. It was sweet—I appreciated it. It was also in permanent marker and didn’t come off for a long time. Let’s just say it was a little awkward when his mum came to stay
Neither spouse should shut down or run away during conflict or become defensive when confronted. Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional.
the following week. Marriage should be a place of affection
Physical intimacy is also an important part of maintaining the
and admiration, and not just in the early years.
unity and trust in our relationship. Sex plays a huge role in
Husbands and wives should be invested in sharing their thoughts and feelings and be receptive to their partner’s needs and wants. Both partners should be emotionally present and available. If one person is disengaged or unable to express their feelings it becomes incredibly difficult to build connection.
marriage and so it should! Sex is amazing and it’s designed to bond a husband and wife together in a way that no other interaction can. Ben and I committed to respecting and valuing each other’s needs and desires and doing our best to meet them, regularly. I’ve heard women say they’d rather eat a packet of Tim Tams than sleep with their husbands. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a chocolate-loving girl, but intimacy with my husband takes the cake, and I think it should. Sex is not a wifely duty, it should be passionate and fulfilling for both parties. I’ll admit there have been occasions where I have made my Ben feel unwanted by repetitively rejecting his sexual cues
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and advances. I’m not suggesting that every time he wants
Yes, not even kidding … bless his heart. I spent the first
a little somethin’ somethin’ I have to salute and say “Yes
couple of years living by my own rules. Ben would often say
sir!”, but selflessness and compromise goes a long way in
to me, “Why are you yelling at me?” and I would reply, eyes
the bedroom. After all, if we don’t fulfil our partner’s sexual
bulging, nose flaring, “I’m not, I’m not even angry. This is my
needs, who will? Both spouses (again let me emphasise
normal voice,” which it was. It was my “normal”, but it didn’t
“both”) must commit to creating an environment that is
make it right. I had to learn to speak to Ben in a way that he
sexually safe and aims to meet the sexual needs of the other.
saw as respectful and honouring. Note to self: tone matters.
Clear and kind communication is another way to remain
Open communication doesn’t mean your relationship is
connected. I will admit I have not always been good at this. I
completely argument free and things never get heated. It just
have reacted harshly instead of responding calmly. My mum
means that arguments don’t escalate to yelling, swearing or
is German and my dad is Maori. Let’s just say my tongue is a
name-calling, causing disunity.
weapon that can be used for good or evil.
Your relationship will only be as safe as both partners commit
I grew up in a house that was loud, where yelling was normal
to making it. Ben and I have wholeheartedly dedicated
and the tone was irrelevant. My husband on the other hand
ourselves to keeping our union a safe place: a haven where
grew up in a household where “shut up” was a swear word.
we can bare our soul, where fear doesn’t feel so fearsome.
CHRISTCHURCH
QUEENSTOWN
AUCKL AND
The Isaac Theatre Royal
Wedding Fair & Runway
Shed 10
Saturday 1st July, 2017
Saturday 15th July, 2017
Saturday 22nd July, 2017
www.wildheartsweddingfairs.co.nz
T HE R E L AT IONSHIP TA L K TAKE SOME TIME TO CONSIDER THE KEY PRINCIPLES YOUR MARRIAGE IS BUILT UPON. Photography: Seaward Photography
1
HOW CAN WE MAKE OUR CONNECTION STRONGER?
2
3
WHAT CAN WE DO TO FEEL SAFE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP?
WHAT DOES ‘TRUST’ MEAN TO YOU?
4 IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO TO HELP YOU CONFIDE IN ME?
5
HOW CAN WE FOSTER A GREATER SENSE OF INTIMACY?
6
7
WHAT STEPS CAN WE TAKE TO PRIORITISE EACH OTHER?
WHERE DO WE WANT TO BE IN TEN YEARS’?
STILL THE ONE I LOVE
LORIS + JOSEPH: A TIMELESS MARRIAGE Photography: Mark & Kara
I
was 29 and Joe was 34. He had seven years in the War and was trying to put a new life together, and I had
broken my engagement to my long-time sweetheart. It was 1954 and we had both been single for a long time. Joseph and I were introduced through a mutual married friend and set up on a blind date. We were both separately invited to her country club for a weekend of golf and Joe was told not to bring anyone with him. I was furious with my girlfriend when she told me I couldn’t have an early night with a book. She had told a friend that Joseph shouldn’t bring a date, and he was at the dance waiting to meet me! I reluctantly went. After being introduced at the club, we danced for a bit, but he was mostly busy organising the band and we didn’t speak much. He announced that he would be playing golf in the morning and as I was too, we could hit off early. So we said good evening to one another and that was the end of the night. The following day Joe and I talked during our round of golf, and I found him to be such a charming man. He offered to drive me home after the weekend, instead of me going with my married girlfriend. Apparently, I made a big impression on him—he told his mother on the Monday that he had met the woman he was going to marry!
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still the one I love
After that weekend, Joe visited my house for three nights. He would meet me after work and walk me home and we’d have long chats at my parents’ place. I liked what I saw—I liked his demeanour and he was impeccably dressed and good looking. It was love at first sight! In those three days we discovered just how compatible we were.
~ “I FLOATED INTO MARRIAGE IN A BUBBLE OF ROMANCE!”
On the Wednesday night, we went for a drive to a romantic spot where Joe declared his love for me and asked me to marry him. Three months later, we were married! He was so right—calm and caring. I never questioned it. I floated into marriage in a bubble of romance! We had a small family
Surfers Paradise the next day for our honeymoon. It was just like a dream! We were so in love and the three months had been a whirlwind romance.
wedding with a little reception at my mother’s home with
Our marriage has gone through some very beautiful highs,
the immediate family. My beloved father passed away from
but equally some very low lows. And we found that through
cancer during our engagement, and we felt it was more
these times we needed to be a tower of strength for one
appropriate to have a quiet reception. It was all we could
another when the other wasn’t so strong. Coming through
cope with. We drove to the Australia Hotel after the reception
the other side each time strengthened our bond with one
which was a major hotel at the time, and that’s where we
another. We have such a deep emotional commitment to
spent our wedding night as husband and wife. We drove to
each other.
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Photography by Jason Corroto
JAPONICA
MEET
Our ethos is simple: gorgeous design, beautiful seasonal blooms and interesting foliage. We live and breathe wedding and event flowers. Est. 2007. Northern Beaches, Sydney.
Carrying on the concept of Brazilian barbecue, the MEET Food Truck offers an array of barbecued and smoked meats, sides and salads. If this isn’t enough to draw your attention, the sleek, matte black exterior should do the trick!
florals@japonica.com.au | japonica.com.au
events@meet.restaurant | meet.restaurant
HUNTER DESIGN SCHOOL
SARA HANNAGAN PHOTOGRAPHY
This gleaming white venue not only houses a school for creative minds across various fields of design. It lends itself as a boutique event space, serving as the perfect blank canvas for your stylistic vision.
Sara is a wedding photographer who tells stories through natural, emotive imagery for all couples in love. She’s based in Perth and available worldwide. sara@sarahannagan.com.au | sarahannagan.com.au
hello@hunterdesignschool.nsw.edu.au hunterdesignschool.nsw.edu.au
SOPHIE BAKER PHOTOGRAPHY
SUZANNE HARWARD
“People are extraordinary. I crave making images that are real, honest, raw and beautiful. Let’s adventure together and make photo magic … will you join me?”
Suzanne Harward’s new 2017 couture collection, Illuminati, combines metallic accents of burnished gold and silver meshed with white, nude and oyster tones and is now available to view.
hello@sophiebakerphotography.com | sophiebakerphotography.com
info@suzanneharward.com | suzanneharward.com
PEARL BUTTON
SARAH MOORE
Take your wedding walk in a lyrical Pearl Button wedding dress. Dinah designs and makes to fit your body perfectly using couture techniques and beautiful natural fabrics. Their studio is run on ethical and environmental standards.
I take pride in building lasting relationships with my bride and groom, capturing genuine images that they can’t help but print into albums and show off to their friends. I hope you fall in love with my photos as much as I enjoy creating them.
dinah@pearlbutton.com.au | pearlbutton.com.au
info@sarahmoore.com.au | sarahmoore.com.au
CRUMB
EDWARD & TEA
We design boutique, custom, handmade cookies, perfect for favours and dessert tables. We love working with you to create the perfect treat for you and your guests.
“Our team of creative dreamers and experienced planners create events that leave long-lasting impressions. We’ll work with you to compose something special, helping build a narrative beyond the big day.”
hello@crumb.net.au | crumb.net.au
hello@edwardandtea.com.au | edwardandtea.com.au
THREDBO ALPINE HOTEL
STUDIO MELT
Say “I do” on the rooftop of Australia. Enjoy a mountain of choice with four breathtaking ceremony locations, three predrink venues, four reception venue options and an array of stunning photographic settings.
We’re a contemporary jewellery store, offering alternative bridal jewellery from leading local and international studio artists. Our passion is creating unique heirlooms. hello@studiomelt.com.au | studiomelt.com.au
nicole_thrum@evt.com | thredbo.com.au
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market place
ZANETA VAN ZYL FILM & PHOTOGRAPHY
BOTANICS OF MELBOURNE
“Guiding you into beautiful light and spaces, I endeavour to capture your unique story naturally while you simply enjoy the moment. Available for photography and/or videography.”
“Our passion for flowers is contagious! We creatively design unique and individual floral arrangements for all occasions. Experience the difference as we bring to life your floral dream.”
info@zanetavanzyl.com | zanetavanzyl.com
info@botanicsmelbourne.com.au | botanicsmelbourne.com.au
SABINA MOTASEM
LORD COCONUT
Sabina Motasem, a British Bridalwear label, designs effortlessly chic luxe dresses inspired by the romance of Hollywood, the passion of dance and a love for modern aesthetics with clean lines. The dresses are irresistible because they never compromise on quality.
Lord Coconut is Melbourne’s only retailer, gallery and online boutique selling contemporary wedding rings designed with men in mind. Receive 15% off all Explosion rings by Gillian Hillman until the end of December when ordered online or in-store.
mail@motasem.co.uk | motasem.co.uk
info@lordcoconut.com | lordcoconut.com
CLAIRE ARISTIDES
APRIL LOVES ARNOLD
Redefining fine jewellery, Claire Aristides offers a minimalist, luxury approach to her jewellery. Her passion is to design and create timeless modern classics.
“I offer bespoke and documentary styled wedding portraiture, creating beautiful art for you that is worth preserving. Your wedding is a sacred day and it is an honour to document your love story.”
help@aristidesfinejewels.com | aristidesfinejewels.com
amy@aprillovesarnold.com | aprillovesarnold.com
HONEY LANE
TRILLE FLORAL
Honey Lane offers bespoke wedding and event styling for Sydney and destination locations. They create fabulous on-trend weddings full of gorgeous details, allowing you a stress-free engagement and beautiful wedding journey.
Trille Floral offers romantic and rambling floral design for weddings, events and editorials. They are based in Sydney Australia. info@trillefloral.com | trillefloral.com
hello@honeylane.com.au | honeylane.com.au
NEWCASTLE WEDDING SERVICES
TENNILLE FINK PHOTOGRAPHY
“I’m Darren Chapman and I absolutely love performing casual, relaxed, custom weddings. My heart is in marriage being successful, happy and a real source of life and strength to you both. So I love to be involved in this important and exciting first stage of people’s journeys into marriage.”
“I create wholehearted wedding photos with a focus on goosebump romance and real life good-time moments as they happen. I live in Queensland but am for interstate and international celebrations” holla@tennillefink.com.au | tennillefink.com.au
darren.chapman@me.com | newcastle-wedding-services.com
THE ELOPEMENT COLLECTIVE
INKLING DESIGN
This squad of wedding industry leaders create epic elopements in Australia, New Zealand, Bali and Hawaii. They do three things really well: create epic elopements, pop-up wedding events, and simple legals-only marriage paperwork signings.
Founded in 2011 by designer and illustrator Inga Campbell, Inkling Design is a graphic design studio that offers art direction, custom illustrations, invitations, branding, styling and wedding invitations.
hello@elopementcollective.com | elopementcollective.com
inga@inklingdesign.com.au | inklingdesign.com.au
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5pm – 8pm 21st May 2017 6 Douglas Street Milton
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ENDLESS I N S P I R AT I O N
Our online Directory is a mecca for wedding planning; an intuitive little hub full of the best creatives in the business.
Find your dream team today. whitemag.com/directory
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Photography by Tim Coulson
kimberleywoodwarddesigns.com.au
SAMUELJACOB photography
s a m u e l j a cob p h otog rap h y.c om